#go forth and support your fav's rights and wrongs!

[lunar-years]

for the results of everyone's favorite season one insults, see here!

[thenanbakacorner]

Your pregnancy stuff is absolutely adorable it KILLS ME— Can we get the Cell 13 gang with their S/Os in the delivery room?? Like how they comfort their laboring partner and how they act during the delivery itself?? QwQ

LE GASP YESSS, pregnancy stuff is one of my fav things to writeeee—  I had to jump on this as soon as I saw it o(≧∇≦o)

* * *

🔓 Jyugo 🔓

Is flipping the fuck out before and when you first get to the hospital

He can’t believe it’s actually time..!

While waiting for you to fully dilate, the two of you mostly just talk, but he also brought along a few puzzles to keep you occupied as you wait

Sits up in the bed with you for some comforting cuddles as you watch the TV, carefully wrapping his arms around you and gently rubbing your baby bump through the contractions

Offers you to squeeze his hand whenever a contraction hits, and rubs your shoulder with his free hand to soothe you through the pain

Flinches, ooches and ouches when you squeeze his hand too tight, but cares more about your comfort and bears with it

Rubs your shoulder and, despite having a slightly shaky voice from his nerves, whispers words of reassurance to you

“I-it’s okay, Y/N.. I’m here, everything’s gonna be okay..”

His anxious tone makes it seem as if he’s the one who needs to be reassured

Paces around the room anxiously when not by your side for any reason, biting his nails and watching you like a hawk

Probably almost faints at some point during the actual delivery

Never lets go of your hand throughout the birth, no matter how tight you squeeze

Scared. So scared. He’s worried something might go wrong, but tries his hardest to keep a straight face for you

Then he hears the baby’s first cry. Instant tears.

Sobs as the two of you hold the baby together, keeping his forehead against yours as he murmurs how happy he is and how much he loves the two of you

He was so unsure and afraid of becoming a dad, but getting to actually meet his very first child.. it was an amazing feeling. More amazing than he could’ve expected.

🎲 Uno 🎲

Is very nervous when you go into labor, but also super hyped!

You’re going to get to meet your baby soon— how can he not be excited?

Lots of loving small talk as you wait for the delivery, and helps keep you distracted with magazines, card tricks, some videos on his phone.. anything he can think of to help.

Fantasizes with you about what your baby might look or be like. What eyes they’d have, their hair color, their gender.. so many possibilities!

Idly caresses your baby bump as you chat, baby talking it, overall being super sweet and loving

With the baby coming so soon, the two of you exchange name ideas back and forth, so you can eventually settle on the two chosen names for whether they’re a boy or girl

When it’s time to push, he’s right there beside you, holding your hand and coaching you along and comforting you

”That’s it honey, that’s it.. you’re doing so good.”

His thumb pets the top of your hand gently as he holds it, his other hand working on wiping your tears

Glances back and forth between your face and the doctors further down, anxiously watching and listening for any change

He’s doing a good job at hiding it, but during the actual labor, he gets pretty anxious. He hates seeing you in pain and feels bad for it

Supportive as can be throughout the birth, gently cheering you along, holding your hand tight, whispering comforting words..

When the baby cries for the first time he perks up, eyes wide and he lets out a breath of awe when he first catches sight of the baby

So in love the second the two of you hold them, a warm smile on his face as he admires the life you created and murmurs words of affection and admiration

🍩 Rock 🍩

Super worried and never leaves your side, nor lets go of you as you rest in the bed

Presses gentle kisses to the back of your hand and murmurs comforting words to soothe your pained cries

Constantly checks in on you, asking if you’re okay, if you need anything..

If you get hungry at all during the wait, he’ll head down to the cafeteria or out to get you some fast food

As you eat, he rubs your shoulder and you exchange some light conversations, keeping you distracted the best he can

Sits closer to the bed and lets you lean your head against his chest or shoulder, rubbing the opposite side of your head comfortingly

Puts on some TV shows- probably something to do with food- for you to watch and distract yourself with as you wait

Constantly asks the doctors if they think it’ll be time soon, he just hates seeing you in pain- and just wants to meet your baby already- and wants it to be over with

When the time does come, he’ll help you through some breathing exercises, let you squeeze his hand as tight as you need..

Pretty quiet through most of it other than some words of encouragement and comfort, and his eyes are glued on your face, making sure you’re alright

Wipes your tears with his free hand and kisses your cheek comfortingly

Never looks away until he hears the baby cry. Turns his head so fast to look that he’s lucky he didn’t get whiplash

Nervous about holding the baby for the first time. They’re.. so tiny compared to him, he doesn’t want to hurt them on accident!

But when you do convince him to hold them, he’s so gentle and considerate, and starts crying when the baby looks up at him

Vows to protect the little angel with his life right then and there

💊 Nico 💊

Panic.

Just, panic.

Of course he’s super excited, what with the baby on the way, but.. he didn’t think it would be this painful for you!

All over you as you lay and wait no matter how much you reassure him that you’ll be fine

”Oh my gosh oh my gosh, Y/N, are you gonna be okay?! S-should I call the doctor?!”

Sits in bed with you and holds you close, comforting any pained cries you make and cuddling you, kissing you, petting your baby bump..

Begs the doctors to just take your pain away already— he can’t stand to see you in pain like this cause of him!

The calmer you are, the calmer he is

Once he’s done having his little freak outs, he distracts you with physical affection, playing games on his console.. tries anything he can think of to take your mind off the pain

When you start pushing he holds your hand tight with both of his own and is kinda shaky as he comforts you through it

Constantly asks the doctors if the baby’s almost out, kind of like a kid asking their parents “if they’re there yet” while on a car trip

Can’t help but cry along with you

If you’re in pain, he’s in pain

But, oh, his sympathetic tears are nothing compared to his happy tears when he hears the baby’s first cry

All the happy sobs as he praises you for doing so well and showers you in comforting, congratulatory kisses

So impatient to hold the baby and just won’t put them down once he gets his hands on them

So. Much. Baby talk. It’s friggen adorable as he coos at and plays with the baby, wiggling his fingers in front of their face and giggling along with them

[mythiccheroacademia]

—pocket heroes headcanons

mtha thots: it’s that time of year again where i start projecting my daily academic existential crises on the mha characters. i’ve had this idea in my head for months and got pages of brain rot fading away in my documents, so i’ve decided to stop being selfish and start sharing w some simple hcs. i hope you enjoy it <3

warnings: none

reference for the banner

© 2021 all writing content belongs to mythiccheroacademia. do not repost or modify

context: pocket heroes are a new phenomenon to the world. the whispers that spread by ear say they are tiny humans dressed in hero-like costumes that support you when you need it most. many don’t believe in them and blame it on overactive imagination. but the very few who know the truth, say otherwise. they say you can’t find a pocket hero, but your pocket hero finds you when they’re ready. luckily for you, your tiny friend made an appearance and is stuck to you like glue! 

--

Midoriya Izuku:

this little guy is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen

izu is on the shorter side standing only about 3 ¾ inches tall

but don’t let that height fool you bc he’s a ball of energy!

he’s a chatterbox so if that’s not your game, good luck sis

but he’s so cute and his voice is so tiny how could you not love him

your pocket hero is so encouraging of you

for every assignment, he’ll sit by your hand and cheer you on

it’s impossible to give in to temptation and skip an assignment/call off work bc he’ll puff his chubby cheeks out and pout

he knows it’s tough, but you can do it! there’s nothing you can’t do!

although, if you need to take a break for your mental health, he’ll immediately stop and climb up into your neck to comfort you

makes posters with sticky notes he finds around bc he’s your biggest fan

sits by you during class and takes his own notes so that you two can compare

he doesn’t want you to miss anything important

 you get such good grades bc of deku ong

izuku’s fav place to be is in your shirt pocket or in your cleavage, behind the collar of your shirt with his little head sticking out

it’s bc he likes to be near to your heart

it makes him feel safe and close to you

if you get really stressed out, izu will cry for you

he hates it when you’re distressed and won’t be able to think clearly until you’re okay

his whimpers are so sad it literally pains my heart

your pocket hero loves when you bring him up to your cheek so he can latch on and nuzzle you

he’s highkey attached to your hip

he’s not afraid to use puppy dog eyes if you tell him he needs to stay home when you go out

7 times out of 10, you give in

but when it’s necessary for him to stay, he’ll sadly mope around until he hears the door open and runs to you

deku’s got this huge smile on his face that could make the coldest man crack

his tiny footsteps are so cute ughhhh

uses ofa to jump to your face so you can catch him and give him cuddles until he’s satisfied

i adore him

Bakugo Katsuki:

katuski stands at a whopping 4 ½ inches which is about average

but this particular pocket hero has a bad case of small dog syndrome

make fun of how small he is at your own risk

bc this little dude bites

bakugo’s a hardass about your responsibilities

like the man will not let you procrastinate!

over his dead body

if he catches you slipping, he’ll pull on your ear lobes

screams at you and threatens to blow you up with his tiny explosions too for good measure

you don’t have the heart to tell him his quirk feels like a flick from a two year old

his yelling is kinda scary tho despite sounding like a preschool kid on helium

nevertheless, pls trust that this little guy loves you and only wants the best for you

you don’t catch how he gets up extra early every morning and organizes your desk to the best of his abilities (some of your stuff is heavy)

or how he’ll spend hours going through your music and making playlists to help you study

bakugo complains about doing it, but he’s always down to go through flashcards with you

he’s a smart cookie and has got a keen memory so trust he won’t let you half-ass/forget any important assignments and exams

a mother hen

if you have at least three inches of hair, bakugo likes to stand on the top of your head and tug on your strands to “make you move” like you're under his control

yes, he has an evil laugh

you humor him every time

although, there was one time you threw your head to the side and he almost fell off bc he called you a bad word and you weren’t having it

it hasn’t happened again since

doesn’t go there often bc he wants to be all tough, but his fav place to be is in the crook of your neck where it’s warm and he can feel close to you

pls reward him for good behavior w a lil kiss

he’ll tell you you're being gross and make a big show of wiping your “germs” away

but he secretly loves it

there was one time you didn’t peck him for a week and he actually got nervous in an angry kind of way

asked if you were mad at him in the smallest voice you’ve ever heard him use  

also stomps when he’s angry

pls he’s like the cutest most annoying alarm clock

i love him

Todoroki Shouto:

if izu and katsuki are the angel on your right, shouto’s the devil on your left

don’t get me wrong, the little guy will suggest you do your work

but…if you can still get the grade you want and skip out on a few things, who is he to say otherwise

a strong advocate of work smarter, not harder LMAOOO

you secretly think it’s bc he likes to take as many naps as he can with you

anyways, shouto is about 4 ¾ inches in height give or a take a couple centimeters

he’s got an unnaturally deep voice for a pocket hero

he’s very quiet, reserved most times, and will be your silent support as you go about your day

but pls don’t think he doesn’t have the slickest mouth known to man just bc he’s quiet

there was one time you asked your teacher a question and they were being difficult

you went back and forth for a few min, failing to notice the irritation growing on todoroki’s face

then he just blurted out, “and you’re supposed to have a degree in education?”

thankfully, your teacher didn’t hear him but when I tell you your heart dropped

you can’t take this man nowhere

he’s just a very sassy pocket hero

you get some lip from him too sometimes but threaten to take away his soba and he’ll shut up real quick

shouto likes to hang out on top of your head and lay there

also likes to sit on your shoulder and idly swing his legs

when you’re both bored in class, he’ll make little ice sculptures to get you more alert

you let him read articles out to you bc his voice is really soothing

todo lives for head pats or when you gently scratch his head with your finger

he’ll chase your finger if you pull away too soon

you think he purrs but shouto won’t admit to anything

when he’s feeling clingy, he’ll raise his arms up signaling for you to hold him in your hand

it’s annoying sometimes bc you need to take notes or something but does it look like this boy cares?

pick him up now!

if you get stressed, he makes you put down whatever you're doing and drink some water

forces you to take a nap if it’s really bad

all pocket heroes have a reserved “bed” so their caretaker doesn’t harm them when they sleep, but todoroki is wiling to risk death if it means curling up on your chest

your heartbeat helps him sleep easier

i wanna protect him at all costs

im no longer accepting requests!

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 7

Request: Yes or No

Yeah.. This is most def my least fav chapter. I need to get better at explaining fight scenes and abilities lol

~

"Hit the three targets at once."

"I can only focus on one-"

"No, no, that's not true. You can do this, (N/N)." You sighed, nodding as you raised your hand, lifting up the three rocks. Clint pointed at each target he had set up. The farm was a great place to practice. You looked at each target, spreading your fingers apart and watching the rocks line up with each target. You thrusted your hand forward, watching the rocks fly forward and hit the center for each one. You grinned, laughing as you heard Laura and Lila cheer from their spot on the porch. Cooper mimicked your movements, feeling Laura pat his head.

"That's what I'm talking about." Clint grinned, ruffling up your hair. You rolled your eyes, looking forward at the targets.

"Now, try out water." Clint said, picking up the bucket and placing it infront of you. You moved your hands infront of you, focusing on the water. The bucket began to shake as the water swirled around.

"Relax." Clint said softly, glancing between you and the bucket. "Don't get nervous or frustrated."

"Okay." You nodded, relaxing your shoulders. You took in a deep breath, eyes closing. You heard Clint let out a suprised chuckle. You opened your eyes, seeing the water in a bubble above the bucket. You slowly pulled your arms apart, watching the water separate into thirds.

"Now, focus on the targets." Clint instructed. You shifted your gaze away from the water, focusing on the targets. You thrusted your hands forward. The water almost reached the targets before falling to the ground.

"Well, better than yesterday." Clint said, hands on his hips. You chuckled, nodding. The only thing you had done was tip the bucket over.

"So.. Natasha mentioned something about you and Wanda." Clint looked at you, cocking a brow. "Do we need to have the talk?"

"Yeah, no. I'm good." You shook your head, chuckling. You rubbed your arm, opening your mouth to speak before you got a notification on your phone. You checked it and sighed.

"New mission?" Clint asked. You nodded, glancing at your mother and siblings.

"I'll try to make it back for dinner."

~~~~~~~~~~

You fixed your hat, glancing at Wanda as she took a sip of her tea. You heard Steve's voice through the earpiece as you scanned your surroundings.

"What do you see?"

"Standard B cops." Wanda replied, making eye contact with you. You rested your head on your fist, gaze flickering over to the police station.

"Small station.. Quiet street." Wanda added, glancing over her shoulder. "It's a good target."

"There's an atm on the south corner which means-"

"Cameras." You muttered, looking down at the drink in your hand. You listened to Wanda and Steve, looking up when Natasha cut in.

"You guys know I can move things with my mind, right? (Y/N) over here is slowly becoming Father Nature." Wanda said, grinning. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature." Natasha said, shooting you two a look.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a little paranoid?" Sam asked.

"Not to my face. Why? Did you hear something?"

"Eyes on the target, folks." Steve cut the chit chat. You continued to look over the people around, frowning.

"Go now."

"Why?" Wanda asked, looking at you in confusion and slight panic.

"He's not hitting the police." Steve answered. You and Wanda stood up, ditching the small cafe area. She grabbed your arm, using her powers to lift both of you into the air. She flew over to the Institute of Dieases, letting go of your arm as you shot out a root to a wall. You were able to swing down to the ground, landing beside her. You swallowed, thrusting your hand forward and blinking when a ball of fire shot out, hitting one of the men back against a truck.

"Now really isn't the time to be figuring out new abilities, (Y/N)." Sam called, knocking out a guy Wanda had thrown up into the air.

"I know." You breathed out. You really hoped the new abilities didn't interfere with the mission. Wanda lifted Steve up to one of the floors, glancing at you.

"You'll gain control of them." She assured you as she used her powers to clear out the gas. You ran a hand through your hair, growing nervous. Sam took up into the air, arms extending downward. You raised your hands, roots shooting up and wrapping around his arms.

"Christ, you're heavy."

"Oh, fuck you, bird boy." You huffed, gripping onto the roots as Sam took off. You definitely still hated flying. You didn't look down until Sam got to the marketplace. You followed Sam, spotting one of the men. You clenched your fist, making the ground under the man split off and rise. Sam flew up, punching the guy off and knocking him out when he landed on the ground. You let the piece of ground down as Sam searched the guy. Sam shook his head, standing. He helped Natasha out with 'Red Wing', getting what the team needed. You rolled your eyes as he and Natasha went back and forth, walking through the market to find Steve. You flinched, looking up and seeing a building with a few floors on fire. You looked forward, seeing Wanda with a hand over her mouth.

"Fuck." You whispered, jogging over to her and placing an arm around her. Wanda stared at the building, eyes watering. You swallowed, rubbing her arm.

"(Y/N), I'm gonna need some water." Steve called. You gently let her go, walking forward. You looked at the fire truck, raising your hands and watching the water. You guided it to the fire, a small smile slipping. You took out the fire, a breath of relief leaving you. You turned towards Wanda, approaching her.

"Come on, let's go." You said softly. She gently grabbed your arm, flying back to the aircraft. You entered and sat down, watching her. Wanda gently rested her head on your shoulder.

"I'll never be an Avenger.. I'll never be good enough to be one." Wanda whispered, staring at the ground. You frowned, giving her arm a squeeze.

"You are good enough, Wanda. You did what you thought was right." You said softly, watching her. Wanda sighed, biting her bottom lip.

"What if sometimes doing what you think is right.. Is actually wrong?"

"There would've been way more casualties if you hadn't done that. Cap might've been hurt too." You pointed out, glancing up when Sam arrived. Natasha and Steve arrived soon after. The ride back was silent apart from Steve and Natasha giving out reports.

"Where should I drop you off, (Y/N)?" Natasha asked, looking over at you.

"Home." You answered. Natasha nodded, looking forward again. You gently nudged Wanda.

"Stay for dinner." You said softly. Wanda gave a small nod, avoiding everyone's gaze. You sighed, glancing at Sam. It had been the first mission as a team. It was technically a success since Natasha had gotten what was needed. You stood up as Natasha lowered the aircraft, letting you and Wanda out. You headed towards the house, entering and sighing.

"You two look exhausted." You turned towards Laura, chuckling softly. Laura gave Wanda a smile. After the mess in Sokovia, Clint had introduced the family to Wanda. She was beyond happy when Clint told her Nathaniels middle name would be Pietro.

"Hi, Laura." Wanda greeted her, leaning in and giving her a hug. Laura smiled, hugging her back.

"You two should take a bath. Come on, you can use some of my clothes." Laura said, smiling and pulling Wanda upstairs. You looked at Clint, rubbing your neck.

"I shot fire out of my hands." You muttered. Clint blinked, staring at you with raised brows.

"The mission was a successful but.. There were accidental casualties." You told him softly. Clint sighed softly, offering a supportive smile.

"I'm sure if you could've prevented it, you would've." Clint said, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

"What if I hurt a teammate by accident? That guy I hit with fire could've easily been Cap or Sam." You frowned, arms crossing. Clint gently pulled you into a hug.

"You won't hurt anyone. You just have to figure out how to make your powers come out when you want them to." Clint leaned back, patting your shoulder. You turned your head, hearing Nathaniel coo and blow raspberries. You smiled softly.

"I'm gonna go shower." You said, heading up the stairs. You entered your room, getting a towel and clothes before entering the bathroom. You turned on the water and sighed, looking into the mirror. You wiped at some ash on your cheek, watching the mirror fog. You stripped and entered the shower, relaxing at the feeling of the hot water. You gently ran your hands over your arms, thoughts drifting back to the fire ball. You turned, letting the water hit your back.

"How the hell am I gonna do that again?" You frowned, watching the water. You cupped your hands, letting water fill in. You licked your lips, focusing on it. The water slowly took a circle form, rising up from your hands. You smiled softly, lifting a finger and touching the side of it. You blinked, lips parting as it slowly turned to ice. You caught it as it dropped, hissing softly.

"Jesus, fuck." You shivered at the coldness, giving it a light squeeze and turning it back to water. The water slipped through your fingers, still cold. You finished showering, drying off and changing. You stepped out of the bathroom, entering your room and noticing Wanda brushing her hair.

"How you feeling?" You asked softly, dropping the dirty clothes into the laundry basket. Wanda shrugged lightly, placing the brush on the bed.

"Fine, I guess.. Can't wait to hear what the media has to say about it." Wanda replied, playing with the hem of the sweater. You took a seat beside her, gently bumping shoulders with her.

"Nobody cares about what the media says. They say we're heroes one day and villains the next." You said, watching her. She nodded, fingers going over the brush. Wanda turned her head, giving you a defeated smile. You stayed silent, taking in her tired features. Wanda slowly leaned in, pressing her lips against yours. She leaned back, humming softly.

"That felt weird." You mumbled, chuckling softly. Wanda nodded, smiling as a small laugh left her.

"We're better as friends."

"Yeah, definitely. Plus, I think Vis likes you." You told her, smiling. Wanda's brows rose, looking at you.

"Really?" She asked with a small smile. You nodded, looking up when Laura peeked in.

"Dinner's ready." She chirped. You got off the bed, helping Wanda up from the bed and heading downstairs for dinner.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I need to know what u think of an AU where JC is the one who dies (sacrificing his life to save WWX) instead of JYL, he’s not as angry with WWX bc JYL is still alive so when he sees his brother about to get murdered he just steps in front of him while JYL and WWX see :) I don’t even know what I want u to do with this? Give me some headcanons? Is it a prompt? Idk I just want u to to see what u make of this (I promise JC is my fav but my mind likes to make me suffer :p)

1

It wasn’t a matter of conscious thought when Jiang Cheng threw himself between that cultivator’s sword and Wei Wuxian’s unguarded back, all his defenses down in the face of Jiang Yanli’s pleading, same as always; it was just instinct. Wei Wuxian was always the troublemaker, the crazy one, and Jiang Cheng always the one being dragged along; he’d long ago learned to spend all his time watching his shixiong’s back, keeping him away from dogs, away from angry shopkeepers, away from any harm. It was instinct, just as it had been the day he���d thrown himself out into the street to distract the Wens, and he’d always justified that instinct because he knew that Wei Wuxian would do the same for him.

Though – he didn’t know that anymore, not after everything that happened recently. Wei Wuxian had made him all the promises in the world, to stand by his side through wind and lightning, and he’d seemed to have no issue abandoning those promises, picking the remnants of the Wen sect over the remnants of the Jiang sect without a moment’s hesitation and not even the courtesy of an explanation.

The Yiling Patriarch was all but a stranger to him, and Jiang Cheng still didn’t understand why.

So it was probably stupid of him to react as if the person being stabbed at was Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch – stupid of him to give up his life for someone who didn’t care about him nearly as much as Jiang Cheng cared for him.

But that’s why it wasn’t a thought. It was instinct.

He heard someone scream “Jiang Cheng!” as if their heart were breaking, and he thought for a moment that it was Wei Wuxian again, the one who loved him best. Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch, who threw him to the dogs over and over again, put his sect at risk of utter destruction a second time over, just to indulge himself and his bizarre fixation on saving the Wens at the expense of everyone else. Who didn’t care about their duty to their sect, to their parents - who didn’t care about him at all.

Jiang Cheng’s heart hurt. It was probably just the sword that’d just been driven through it, though.

Hands grasped at his clothing, pulling him back; his sister’s face had lost all blood, and Wei Wuxian looked as if his world had ended – he wasn’t sure why. Jiang Yanli had her son to care for, a new life in Lanling that she refused to abandon even if Jin Zixuan was now gone; Wei Wuxian had his Wens, his new cultivation – perhaps it was some little regret, far too late, for the Jiang sect that would now come to grief, leaderless, the end of their family line and the disappointment of their ancestors. Jiang Cheng’s final and most absolute failure.

Jiang Cheng looked at them both, the ones he loved the most and who had left him without a single glance backwards, and found with his last breath that he had nothing to say to them.

He closed his eyes so they wouldn’t have to.

2

The battlefield was full of corpses, and Jiang Yanli didn’t care about a single one of them.

“Do you think he can be brought back, the way Wen Ning was?” she asked, holding the corpse in her arms as if it were still the baby brother she sang songs to as a child, the little crybaby who was so fierce on the outside and so soft on the inside. She had been able to lie to herself with Jin Zixuan’s body – he almost looked as though he were sleeping, head on the pillow beside her own – but Jiang Cheng had never slept well in his life, his brow always furrowed as if he was worrying about something even in his dreams, and the blank peace on his face was so wrong that she couldn’t bear to look at him.

She wasn’t asking Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian had only stopped the massacre when Lan Wangji, of all unlikely people, had bodily tackled him; everyone had always said that the Second Jade was like oil and water with her A-Xian, but he’d unexpectedly taken their side in this battle and was even now letting a barely-conscious Wei Wuxian sob Jiang Cheng’s name into his collar. He looked silently at her, his gaze a quiet reminder that her question was inappropriate – one Ghost General had already been enough to cause all of this tragedy, and certainly no one would ever accept another as a sect leader.

She looked steadily back at him, indicating in return that she didn’t give a damn about the standing of the Jiang sect if it meant she wouldn’t have to bury her baby brother.

Lan Wangji hesitated, looking down at Wei Wuxian. “You cannot stay at Yiling,” he finally said. “After this…”

They’d killed people from virtually every sect; no matter who had sympathized with Wei Wuxian before this or how much they felt he was wronged, they would have no choice but to raise up arms against him.

Jiang Yanli understood. They would be fugitives, condemned by all. She didn’t care. “Will you help us?”

He nodded and stood, Wei Wuxian cradled as gently in his arms as she held Jiang Cheng in hers.

“Will you come with us?” she asked. Anyone who loved her brother enough to defy his sect, to stain his untainted blade with the blood of his own kin, deserved a chance to court him properly, if she hadn’t misunderstood his intentions; she didn’t think she had, not with the expression so clear on his silent face.

“I will help you,” he said, and that wasn’t an answer, wasn’t the one she wanted, but it would have to do for now. “Let us go.”

3

It was Jin Zixuan who figured it out, oddly enough. Perhaps it was because he was an outsider, looking at the situation without affection to blur his eyes.

“You gave him your golden core,” he said, less than a week into his resurrection – Lan Wangji had been very efficient in his help, not only finding a new place to hide Jiang Yanli and the remaining Wens but also returning to Lanling to steal Jin Zixuan’s corpse and little Jin Ling before returning to his own sect at the first sign that Wei Wuxian would awaken from his coma. He hadn’t sent word since that time, whether from regret or other reasons; their only consolation was that there was no news of his death. “That’s why you couldn’t do anything other than demonic cultivation – is that right?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him through blood-red eyes. “Get lost,” he said; the phrase made up the majority of his vocabulary, these days, and because he refused to curse his shijie he mostly ended up not talking to her at all.

“Wen Qing was a famous doctor – she could have figured out a way to do it, and that would explain why you felt so indebted to them,” Jin Zixuan continued. “You never told him because you didn’t want to burden him. But instead you left him without any reason, any explanation: he must have felt that you abandoned him because you didn’t want him.”

“Get lost!”

“You broke his heart,” he said, and looked down at Jiang Cheng’s body – still perfectly preserved, but unmoving. The resurrection spell had already failed three times. “No wonder he doesn’t want to return.”

“I did it for him!” Wei Wuxian screamed, tears of blood dripping down his cheeks. “He didn’t – he wouldn’t – he has to come back!”

Jin Zixuan said nothing.

4

They ended up back in Yunmeng, rather unexpectedly; the new leadership of the Lotus Pier, a distant branch cousin who’d survived the massacre because he’d been night-hunting elsewhere, had all but begged Jiang Yanli to return. Against all odds her reputation had survived the massacre at the Nightless City; the loving wife, sister, and shijie that nearly sacrificed herself to save what lives she could and to banish the dreadful Yiling Patriarch who was never seen again from that day forth –  she was very nearly regarded as an incarnation of the goddess of mercy.

She had no idea where that ridiculous notion came from, but it did mean that she could live in Lotus Pier again, with Jin Ling by her side – she’d told Jin Guangshan to name someone else as his heir, or at minimum as regent; the Jiang sect needed her and her son more. It wouldn’t have worked if Jin Zixuan hadn’t snuck into his mother’s room to convince Madam Jin to throw her support behind it; officially he was still in his tomb, since Lan Wangji had been very subtle, but in fact he lived within shouting distance of the Lotus Pier, spending his days playing with his son.

They all did, actually, the whole lot of them resettled into a tiny adjacent water town populated largely by civilians that relied on the Jiang sect for their prosperity. As long as Wei Wuxian never did anything, which he didn’t, the illusion that he was gone for good in a cloud of self-destruction after his terrible massacre could be maintained; no one expected they could possibly be so daring as to simply go home after all of it.

Lan Wangji was in seclusion, they were eventually told; Wei Wuxian hadn’t believed it for one second, smuggling himself into Gusu to check – he’d come back unconscious, slung over Jin Zixuan’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Struck by the discipline whip,” her husband, the fierce corpse that wasn’t fierce at all, said, and didn’t comment when she instinctively reached out to touch Jiang Cheng’s body, to trace the scar he had; she often spent her days next to the bed that preserved his corpse. “Many times; his body is ruined. It will take years for him to heal – the Lan sect saying he was in seclusion was their way of saving face. Wei Wuxian wants to bring him back to the Lotus Pier to hide him.”

Jiang Yanli rubbed her face, thinking not for the first time that the world would be an easier place if only her two brothers weren’t so stubborn. One who wouldn’t wake up, his spiritual consciousness all in pieces; the other who wouldn’t give up – “The Lan sect wouldn’t accept that.”

“He wasn’t planning on asking. That’s why I knocked him out. Anyway, they’re distracted with the Xue Yang matter now – my father’s still insisting on protecting him, and the Nie sect gets angrier about it by the day; without the Jiang sect, there’s only the Lan to play peacemaker, stop there from being another war.”

Jiang Yanli, who was very nice but also very much not the goddess of mercy, tilted her head to the side; something of her mother was in her eyes. “A war would be a good cover, though, or at least the rumblings of one. If we were going to steal Lan Wangji away from his sect, that is.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll sneak into Lanling to talk to my mother, maybe see if I can follow Xue Yang and see what he’s up to. You go talk to the Nie.”

5

Jiang Yanli’s visit to the Unclean Realm turned out to be more fruitful than anyone had expected. The moment she walked into Nie Mingjue’s receiving room, her Jiang sect bell rang so hard that it shattered, which it definitely hadn’t done during the war – they both stared at it wordlessly for a while.

Eventually, he cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “You know my family history,” he offered as an explanation, embarrassment at the public revelation of his problem already turning to anger but suppressed by his strict adherence to etiquette.

“That’s no family history,” she said, bemused, as she crouched down to poke at the pieces. “The silver bell of the Jiang sect can steady focus and calm the mind, and the ones made for the family are the strongest by far; it would only shatter like this in the effort to resist a spiritual poison…how are you feeling now, Sect Leader Nie?”

He considered for a long moment, and his face grew black with rage. “Better. I feel – like my mind has been filled with fog, and a clear breeze has blown it clear.”

She smiled up at him. “Perhaps you should visit Yunmeng.”

He scowled, and she realized he must know about Wei Wuxian’s presence, though she wasn’t sure how; despite that, in the end, after a roaring argument with Nie Huaisang in another room, he agreed to go, even if the idea of staying willfully blind clearly pained him to the core.

Jiang Yanli quietly approved of his decision to put family over principle.

When they put their mind to it, the Nie sect  had an underrated talent for saying ‘I don’t know’ to just about everything. Neither brother blinked an eye at the Wen sect remnants that still teetered every time they went on a boat, very clearly not Yunmeng locals; they politely greeted Jin Zixuan as if he’d only been gone a while and not murdered; much to his older brother’s very evident irritation, Nie Huaisang even leapt over to give Wei Wuxian an enthusiastic hug while Nie Mingjue was still talking with Jin Zixuan about what it meant that Jin Guangshan had hidden away the still intact Wen Ning, who Jin Zixuan had found in a hidden part of Koi Tower during his most recent visit and immediately liberated.

“Definitely a case of spiritual poisoning,” Wei Wuxian said after a short examination, and the most reliable doctor they had left in the Jiang sect concurred. “The silver bell can help a little –” 

They’d already shattered seven of them, but Nie Mingjue had actually cracked a smile for the first time in months, to hear a sobbingly relieved Nie Huaisang tell it. 

“–but it can only help so much; that technique is really only meant for acute cases. And you really need to figure out what was doing the poisoning; there’s no point in curing you if you’re only going to get poisoned again.”

“A matter for a later time,” Nie Mingjue, who clearly had some suspicions that made him look as though he’d been stabbed in the back, said. “Now that we know it’s a poisoning, and my mind is clearer, I can take some action myself – the Nie have plenty of techniques to stabilize the spirit.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile was full of self-hatred, as it always was these days. “I don’t suppose any of those are designed to work on the dead.”

“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said. “Several are. Why do you ask?”

6

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes.

[formerprincewille]

I was tagged by @pamouche and @borborai in this and I finally gotten around to doing it. Thanks so much!

Fav wtfock s3 things: honestly I could go on for hours about my love for this season it’s One of my favorite things to exist in the entire world. I have re-watched it so many times and it always leaves me feeling so happy. Some specifics: Robbe IJzermans, sweet sunshine, love and light of my life, I would throw myself in front of traffic for that boy I love him so much. He captured my heart in a way few ever have. This boy. He’s just such a caring and compassionate person. He’s got his little shit attitude, and he’s definitely a tiny brat, but he is also so full of love to give. I love that he’s not flashy. He’s not somebody that a lot of people are going to notice in a crowd. He’s overlooked by everyone, including his friends. But when you get to know him you see how remarkable he is, because few people are that genuinely good. And the way he grew from hurt and lonely and angry and afraid to happy and confident and not only accepting but proud of who he is makes me cry happy tears. He’s just the best. But the other best is the yin to his yang, his beautiful, wonderful, cool, bold, funny, sweet, and completely dorky art hoe of a soul mate, Sander Driesen. When I think of what my ideal Even would be, he is it. His heart is just right there for everyone to see and he doesn’t hide it. In fact he’s extra about showing it. He’s also vulnerable and needy and feels so very young to be going through such large struggles. He makes me laugh and cry and I would dive in front of the Skam France car for him as well. Love that kid so much. Sobbe. Do I really need to say it? Holy shit they are everything. Soulmates, best friends, loves of each other’s lives. Their chemistry is so good that it doesn’t even exist in this stratosphere. It’s otherworldly. The love that they feel for each other is tangible. They’re one of those couples that when I look at them I think “now those two are going to make it”. You can just feel it. They also somehow manage to hit on so many beloved fanfic tropes but remain realistic because it’s actually canon. Like when couples in fanfic will call each other pet names but it’s rare you actually see it in canon. But sobbe is like hold my beer and goes all out with it. The way they express their love to each other is exactly what the other one needs. Sander is loud end boisterous and goes all out to make it clear to Robbe and everyone else on earth how he feels about this boy. He gives him things to make him feel special and he’s full of affection for him. Robbe is also extremely affectionate, he tells Sander what he needs to hear to feel safe and loved and they love spending time together. Their love is a balm for one another that soothes them both. And it’s clear that neither of them need the other more nor ever did. They both needed one another and met at a time in our lives that they were both in pretty low places and were exactly what the other needed. And they always will be. Sorry, getting emotional again. They’re the otp to end all otps. 🥺 The Soundtrack. I love every single song on the soundtrack. All of them, and I listened to the soundtrack so much on my Spotify that my entire top songs of 2020 were made up of wtfock s3 songs. They not only have excellent musical choices, but they are all placed within scenes so well that they perfectly complement what is happening in the narrative at any given point. Casa Milan and Zoenne and Robbe aka Flatshare Fam. I want to live there. It is so warm, it is so inviting, and it is filled with such love. The support that Robbe got from Milan, Zoë, and Senne was unmatched. I don’t know where he would’ve been without it. Could you imagine if he had had to live with his dad? How differently his story could’ve ended up? Especially with Milan, having someone not much older than he is who has gone through a lot of the same things he has. He was such a big brother figure and mentor and I’m so glad Robbe had that.

Fav clip: Scuse me I’m not picking just one so Dinsdag 16:31, Zaterdag 09:41, Woensdag 21:21, Mandaag 11:03, Zaterdag 08:44 and Woensdag 16:36

Fav scene: Their Vrijdag 21:21 reunion, morning after, ohn/mbm, singing to a shoe, the hotel scenes, and the grocery store. I’m not really sure of the distinction between a scene and a clip 😂

Fav shot: Oh god don’t make me choose. Their hands in Dinsdag 16:31 is a big one. The dual mirror shots of Robbe after Milan tells him about gay pride before the attack to him bruised and battered after. When Robbe is kneeling down beside Sander in Mandaag 11:03. The shot of Milan, Robbe, and Sander playing the pandemic game all cozy by the Christmas tree. Any shots of Robbe and Sander making heart eyes and/or kissing. Any close ups of Robbe’s face and eyes bc Herbots, man. Good god he’s amazing.

Fav kiss that Robbe initiates: Woensdag 21:21, Dinsdag 07:27 and Woensdag 17:21

Fav kiss that Sander initiates: Zaterdag 09:41, Dinsdag 16:31, and Vrijdag 21:21

Fav Sander dialogue: Can I say everything? Okay okay, I’ll give some examples. “Wow, that’s expensive!” “You and me, a hundred percent forever, in every universe.” “I’m holding onto you and I’m never letting go of you.” “🎵Ground control to major Tom. Circuit dead there’s something wrong.🎵” “Are you going to leave me behind?” (🥺) “Zero stars on booking.com.” “The moonlight was shining down on you and I knew immediately ‘he is the one’.” “Get ready to be mindblown!” “All the way or no way.” “Take it or leave it, eh?” “You could try bribing the teacher.” “Robin.” Also literally everything he said during wtfockdown because there’s not a moment where he isn’t iconic. But a really special moment, “Just because other people are close minded doesn’t mean that you should make your world smaller.”

Fav Robbe dialogue: “You touched me and I’ve never felt something like that.” “That kiss was really *head explosion noises*.” “Not in this universe.” “Sander, there is something between us. I love you.” “Jawel.” (I just love the way he says it, it’s so fuckin cute). “Fuck Chernobyl.” “Always.” And of course, his verse in eenvoud.

Fav hug: Mandaag 11:03 when Robbe holds a crying Sander. Also, does the spooning and cuddling in the hotel scenes and Dinsdag 07:27 count? Because I love that. Also Woensdag 17:21. Or really anytime Robbe is being a clingy koala. And we can’t forget his hug with Milan after he tells him about the attack. He really needed that comfort.

Fav 21:21: Nope. Nah in all seriousness they just hit different. Woensdag is my favorite in terms of clip alone because from beginning to end it is just so beautiful and perfect. The music, the tunnel, the pool, the kiss, just absolutely gorgeous. But at that time everything was still really new between them and the aftermath of that was rough. Vrijdag is my favorite clip in terms of what it means for Robbe and Sander. The clip itself is shorter, but it has much larger impact in terms of sobbe’s relationship. It’s not just their first time physically, but their emotional declaration to one another as well. It comes with a commitment. Also them falling off the bed laughing is the greatest thing ever. They are so HAPPY. So basically my answer is both, just in different ways.

Fav Sobbe instagram pic: Why are all these questions so mean? Okay- their first one together obviously because along with Robbe’s caption it’s just a showing of their love being official. But also the grocery cart pics for their 6 month anniversary. The grocery store pic in Ardennes getaway. Robbe’s bday pics of them embracing they’re SO HAPPY omg. And of course, we cannot forget the pic posted for Sander’s birthday. It is absolutely perfect. I love it so much.

Fav song/scene pair: I have a few- both examples of wildfire obviously, past lives in Zaterdag 09:41, and rebel rebel at the grocery store. But I have two more that are not at all happy clips but are two of my fave clips regardless: life on mars/zaterdag 21:43 (that scene is impeccable along with its followup which I consider them a pair but LoM only plays in the first one) and I found/zondag 15:12 (my god I love that scene it’s brilliant).

Fav message between Sander and Robbe: Woensdag 12:45 when Sander sends Robbe the sketch of them and talks about that kiss earlier being Chernobyl. Also everything during wtfockdown but especially “I love you so much Robin.” “I love you too. So damn much.” But honestly they had so much adorable banter during those clips we were truly fed.

Fav banter on Instagram: lmaooo they’re always so thirsty on main you could pick a million examples. I will say I loved their back and forth about emojis on their anniversary.

I will tag @onzeziggy @everyone-has-their-story @bowieexaminprogress @sanderxrobbee @ayellowcurtain and whoever else wants to do it. This was fun!

[liquorisce]

Hey I just found out about your fics! I love it. Are you still going to write some EM fics? You're awesome!

Anon thank you so much for reading my beloved eremika stories! i am so glad that you enjoyed them. there are so many versions of eremika that take up space in my head - childhood em, high school em, eren-is-a-screwup-modern-au, vamp-au em, gosh i can go on forever. 

tbh i really really do want to still write em. especially now with snk getting more and more exciting with every chapter the EM feels are STRONG. but basically i fell prey to some writer anxiety and some “my fics are so shitty compared to other awesome authors” bs and i kinda stopped for a bit. 

but 2020 has been good to me and i am back. and because i am so grateful for your readership and support (and all the others who have been so lovely about my work), i wanted to share this recent excerpt from my wips folder. i have no idea if its just trash, but is completely self-indulgent, dramatic and angsty, and features eremika +arumika so my fav kind. here you go ~

rating: m

parings: eremika / arumika [shingeki no kyojin]

words: 1070 ish

"You never told me," he says, his voice faint from the corner of the room, where he leans against the wall, his golden hair bathed in the pale moonlight. 

"Armin," Eren exclaims, startled, "I didn't see you there." He's just out of the shower, hot beads of water growing cold on his skin as he sees the strangest expression on his best friend's face, blank and somewhat stony, something he has never seen before. 

"Anyway," he teases lightly, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Mikasa right now?" 

"I don't know." Armin has never sounded this far away and it scares him. He shouldn't be here, standing so eerily in the corner like a ghost, with that haunted look in his eyes... on his wedding night.

"Why didn't you tell me Eren?"  

A cold dread sweeps through him. Had Mikasa told him after all? Had she decided the extent of their debauchery was too dirty a secret to keep from her husband?

It’s the darker voice in his mind that wonders, had she told him how many times he had taken her that night and how much she had loved it, how many times she had screamed his name?

His cheeks burn at the memory, a scarlet visual that he cannot bring himself to regret, for he does not regret anything more than the fact that he could not make her his, that this illicit liaison of theirs was one that would never happen again, that her touch, warm and passionate that it was, was something he would never have the pleasure of experiencing ever again. 

Even now when Armin stands in front of him asking him questions that he probably shouldn't, and there is guilt, true and justified on his features, guilt that he deserves to feel, the smallest fraction of his heart throbs with remorseless sorrow because the woman he loves would never be his. 

Because that one day, and night, those precious hours Eren had spent with her in his arms were as good as an illusion. She had made her choice, and it wasn't him. 

But he feigns ignorance anyway. "What are you talking about? Are you okay?”

“Me? Today I married the girl I’ve loved my entire life,” the sarcasm dripped right through, “… I’m great!”

He can’t stop the bitterness that creeps into his voice. “I thought everything went really well today, didn’t it? Everyone was gushing about what a perfect wedding it was… what a perfect bride.”

“She really is, isn’t she?” Armin’s voice is cold, his ice-blue gaze unflinching. "I’m sure you thought so. As for the wedding… it’s not exactly perfect when the best man spends the entire evening staring at the bride." Armin's laugh is harsh, forced, seeking humor where there is none. 

"It's not normal when the man who's giving her away holds onto her so tight, like he never wants to let go." 

"I'm not stupid, Eren," his voice cracks a little, hysterical with the weight of truth that he has seen on his wedding day. 

"You've never been stupid Armin," Eren says quietly, the oppressive feeling of guilt now unlocked from its cage consuming him entirely. 

He looks at his best friend, still fresh in his wedding suit, neat bow and everything, hair swept back, shoulders broad and tall. he sees the despair etched on every single one of Armin's honest, beautiful features, tearing at him from within. 

He’d just said his vows to the girl he always dreamed of marrying, and never ever had Eren seen anyone more miserable. 

So he does his best to crack up a smile. "It's not that big of a deal, you know," he says lightly, "besides, we would have been terrible together. Too much fighting." He crinkles his nose in mock disgust. 

Armin doesn't look convinced, he looks the same, desperate, guilty, like he's the one who's done something wrong, and it kills Eren.

It slays him. Because never, not for one second has he been even one tenth of the friend that Armin deserves. Especially not yesterday, when his hands had been so greedy to cover every inch of Armin’s now-wife roaming, kneading their way to her pleasure.

"If she had known, maybe..." 

Maybe she would have changed her mind, is what he wants to say but the thought chokes in his throat. But Eren knows what he's thinking and he's quick to reassure him. "She wouldn't have chosen this life if she didn't love you." 

But It isn't love for me when she looks at you the that way, the same way you look at her, like everyone else is just background noise, he thinks, but he doesn't say it because he knows the truth in those words, and fears it will only amplify when spoken out loud.

There is no more of this that Eren can bear, this self-righteous guilt and sadness and despair flowing out of Armin. He's tried to be happy for him, and her, because this will keep them inside the walls, or at the very least within the realms of society as they knew it… a life far safer than the journey he would set forth upon. 

It killed him when he had to see Armin kiss her, hesitant, soft, the lightest smile playing out at his lips and answering breath from hers, but he forced himself to watch. 

He had forced the spears further into himself untill he had thought he would be sick, sick with hatred and jealousy and all things impure. 

But he had watched faithfully and tried to work up a smile because this was the happiness of his two most precious people and he would protect it. 

And now Armin stood in front of him, miserable, as if he were ruined, as if the one person he had desired above everything was taken away from him. 

It was something that Eren could not bear any longer. He would tell Armin all of this, if he had thought it would bring him peace but it wouldn't, it would just shatter their relationship and everything it meant to him. 

So he turns away, signalling an end to this conversation. 

"Go to your wife," and the bitterness is loud, screaming in Eren's words, splintering harshly. "She's probably waiting for you." 

[castielsgrace]

on the subject of ryan haywood.

i haven’t been an active part of the rtah fandom since around 2016, and i haven’t really watched their content in the last few years. but as someone who’s blog was once dedicated to the fandom, who once wrote fanfiction featuring ryan (which now makes me physically sick), and who was 100% a ryan stan, i feel the need to address the recent events. 

under a read more for those who don’t care, or who are not in a place that they are able to read about this right now. tw for mentions of sexual coercion and grooming.

the internet is a breeding ground for predators. it’s a platform that allows its users to put forward whatever version of themselves they want, and that makes it dangerous. 

we want to trust the people that we see on screens because we think we know them. we spend hundreds of hours (especially when it comes to rtah) watching their content, and it’s easy to become disillusioned to believe that means we know what they’re like irl. it doesn’t. 

ryan haywood abused his Good Guy/Dorky Dad persona to manipulate emotionally vulnerable fans into sexual situations, some of whom were minors. he used the fact that many of us trusted him to have good intentions to get people into situations they otherwise may not have been comfortable with. and that’s fucking disguising. 

i was one of the people who loved the fuck out of him when i was actively involved in the fandom, which you can very easily see if you go far enough back on my tumblr. him and ray were my favourite members by far, and when i went to rtx back in 2014 they were the two i wanted to meet most (i met neither  l o l). i spent hours watching ryan’s streams and finding comfort in them as a college freshman alone in my dorm in a different country and with no friends. i felt comforted by his content.

now i feel fucking sick to my stomach at the thought of him. 

the truth of the matter is this sort of thing happens way too often. conventionally attractive men with internet followings of predominantly young girls are using their platforms to take advantage of people they think won’t have the guts to say anything about it. we saw it ten years ago with the Great British YouTuber Scandal (tom milsom, alex day, eggplant), and I don’t doubt we will see it again. 

it’s so, so important to remember that these people that we watch and love and look up to are strangers. we don’t and won’t ever really know what they’re like when the cameras are off, but they groom their audiences to blindly trust them. that’s so fucked and i wish there was more that we could be doing about it, but i just... don’t really know what that would be. 

just remember to be careful when you’re interacting with influencers--especially those you publicly look up to. there is no reason they should ever ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. don’t let them abuse the platforms that we give them. 

and, most importantly: when a victim steps forward, FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. it doesn’t matter if they’re talking about your ~~uwu cinnamon roll fav~~. victims should not have to choose between telling the truth and getting attacked by hundreds of angry fangirls or keeping quiet about the situations they are being placed in. be sympathetic. listen. acknowledge that you don’t really know the person that you’re idolizing. 

and finally to my rtah family, whether you watch their videos every day, or you’ve been out of the fandom for ages like me: i’m here for you. 

i know how shitty it feels to realize that someone you trusted has done something like this. your feelings of hurt are no less valid just because it’s an internet personality. a lot of us grew up watching these people when we were at our most vulnerable. their videos were there to cheer us up when we were at our lowest and i know that it fucking sucks to have those memories tainted by this. 

you were not wrong to love and support ryan. he had a very convincing persona that he put forth on the internet (bedtime stories at the end of his streams, anyone? laying it on a little thick maybe), and he had even those who do know him irl and see him every single day, fooled. he’s literal human garbage for what he did, but don’t let yourself feel bad for things that you couldn’t have known were happening.

take care of yourselves. and if anyone needs to talk, i will always be here. <3

[ziracona]

hi can we pls have some uhhhh 🅱️uentin Smith headcanons, and some killers hcs if you want! I also lowkey hc Jake and Claudette to both be some degree of autistic, I imprint like a baby bird on my fav characters so I hc both Jake AND Quentin to be trans, and Quentin and Meg are ADHD infodump pals. Literally sitting around the cabin taking turns talking about something they love while the other is sitting there... no thoughts... head empty... they r supporting each other

Nice! And Claudette is canonically autistic according to her archives description as far as I can tell, and I’m so glad! You should check out @askthedreamwalker if you’re interested in Quentin art bc their Quentin is trans and they have really nice art! Also u right as hell about Quentin and Meg. He gets v excited and Meg and he can special-interest back and forth for hours One person is pitcher, pouring information into empty pitcher2, then the other takes a turn and pours back into first pitcher. Info dump support friends. Heaven.

And hells yeah, I love son boy! Idk if you mean ILM headcanons or general, so I’m just gonna go with gen. 

Quentin’s got a big sense of justice. Not okay with people getting away with terrible shit, which makes the realms extra unbearable (somewhere in the distance Yui and Tapp are like ‘cheers mate’). Holds people very accountable. Boy is very fair and got upstanding character. Expects people to operate with like bare minimum decency and ain’t about to let that shit go if someone wants to be a bastard. Last person ever to let a killer get a pass for going around murdering people in-realm and would hold them extremely accountable and be v willing to kill one in a fight and view them with disgust and righteous anger, but also be one of the first people willing to forgive a killer if they genuinely reformed, or got thrown to the survivor side by the Entity and actually chose to shape up and proved they meant it. He has a huge sense of justice and righteous anger, but also believes in forgiveness and second chances. (Within reason. If any of the particularly bastard killers like GF or Nightmare or Clown showed up with a completely ooc change of heart they will never have anyway, Quentin would be like “…listen. …There are some things only God can forgive…U gotta take this one to him…and away from me. Forever…”. Boy got those high-quality standards 👌

Used to be kinda high-strung, but then his life was a living hell for so long that he ran out of energy entirely and now he has no choice but to be mostly chill. If he gets a burst of energy, the old excitement power switch flips back on and he is both way more talkative and active, and happier. Unfortunately he is usually so worn out he’s about to drop.

Got a bit of a martyr complex. The fact that literally locking himself in hell with his worst nightmare worked does not help. Feels massive guilt over the fact that the Nightmare is in the realm bc of him, but is still kind of glad bc it means he’s not out there murdering his family. Hates that he feels that way because he thinks it’s kind of wrong. Views being stuck in the realm as sort of penance for having brought Krueger unintentionally. Afraid to tell other people it’s his fault because he’s scared they would never talk to him again, and the idea of losing his friends and complete isolation here is unbearable. Feels guilt over that choice, because he feels like he’s in a way lying to them, and that if they would hate him if they knew the truth, they have a right to. Boy loves his friends hard, but does not trust them to forgive him, or to trust in him, so he’s not always completely honest about not just that but anything he’s struggling with. Very sad dumbass. Suffers alone because he’s afraid to ask for help, and/or does not think he deserves it.

Really loves the other survivors and would do anything he could to protect them. Dies in the majority of his trials because he battles endlessly trying to keep the others from being the ones who die. In a way, he’s trying to make things up to them, but he would absolutely do the same just because he loves them, and did for a long time before he ever figured out Krueger and him being taken was his fault (not that I personally think that’s a fair way for the boy to view it). Optimistic externally, struggling internally. Absolutely refuses, ever, to give up, but is always right on the threshold of having a breakdown. Pushes the others to find a way to escape and tries to give them hope. Takes a lot of shit. Will not fight back much if teased just be like -__- and moves on. Doesn’t let people boss him around though, and will always do what he thinks personally is the right thing. Extremely forgiving. (Except to himself.)  Snark boy if opportunity presents itself. Can I offer you a shot of adrenaline in this trying time boy? the rest of the time.

Gives people the benefit of the doubt. Not a hoe. Would commit to a s/o very dedicatedly. Also not the kind of asshole who would cut down on time w friends when in a relationship. Boy’s love is not a zero sum game. Would die or kill for Laurie. Loves Claudette and learning botany tips from her. Thinks she is pretty and admires her kindness and skill and refusal to let the world change who she is, and wishes he was more like her. Has not told her that. Is a lot more like her in that regard than he thinks he is. Pretty damn good in a fight bc he always gets back up. Determinator. Still in love with Nancy and loyal af. Misses her a lot. Does not open up about himself as much as people think he does. Misses his dad and Nancy and his dead friends a lot, especially Jesse. Doesn’t actually talk about his problems much. Just suffers in silence because he doesn’t think he can ask for help.

Takes his faith seriously. Prays a lot, and struggles with feeling completely abandoned by God, but won’t give up on that either. Tries hard to believe he cares and things will change. Dedicated to trying to make sure that regardless of what his friends believe in, they are okay. Very sad and alone but tries to not think about that. Tries to help friends stay hopeful. Is both baby and badass sass boy in one package. Fight hard, love hard, someday will get to sleep for a whole year. 

If you are nice to him once, will assume that means you are friends now. Genuinely cares deeply for every single survivor at the campfire. Wants to protect people. Constantly suffering bc that’s impossible here. Really just wants everyone to be okay someday, including himself, and simultaneously kind of feels like he no longer deserves to be okay in the end at all. Tries not to think about that. Massive guilt issues. Bottles it up. Loyal as hell. Would die for his friends so much it actively worries them and they’re like “Quentin…please. Quentin-stop—stop. You’ll die again. I swear to god Quentin! I can die this time! Quentin!!! Come back here right now!” But he never comes back. Big sibling energy. Regularly people be like “Damn u could make a pretty fine lil brother out of this” and then they do. He loves so hard. Please be nice to him. He’s always trying so hard and never thinks it’s enough. He works so hard.

Triggers include being grabbed by his hair and jerked around, losing his necklace, the cave, and the Nightmare within 15 feet of someone he loves, so homeboy has just, a lot of bad days. Is playing a fun game called ‘I will absorb trauma forever and not get help for it and then one day it will kill me’. Needs to learn to depend on his friends.

Good sense of humor, enjoys reading and music. Will talk way too much about things he likes and not notice he’s done it and then feel bad. Dumbass sweetheart, will think he’s doing a great job flirting and be proud of himself when he did not, in fact, do a suave job, but it’s cute. Tries hard. All the time. At everything. God he tries.

I would do killer hcs too but this already so long and I cut like half of what I initially wrote rip. I have too many thoughts. Head full. : ( Here’s just a few little ones:

Myers does not like working for the Entity. It tried to pull a fast one and be like, “Yes tis I, another voice in your head,” and Michael was like “Bitch it’s my head. I don’t know you!” and that did not work. While Michael very much would love to kill Laurie and get inner peace, working for the entity provides 0% daily Michael needs, and he hates it. Sometimes he just does what the fuck he wants and gets in trouble (homeslice is the only killer who can kill survivors with no mori and no perk for it. Michael cannot be controlled). Does not like being here at all. He doesn’t cause the Entity a lot of trouble like Krueger does, so it doesn’t consider him a problem killer, but they do not have a ‘Ah yes my favorite killer’ kind of thing going. Michael hates the spider-monster. He is so tired of everything at this point. Boy is suffering. Would fight the Entity if he knew how. Has been hurt by it before, and does not like that, because it takes longer to heal than he is used to.

Myers has a few times had his home area be close enough to the campfire that he could see it in the distance, and he watches them when that happens. For hours. He is lonely, but does not realize that, and probably never will. He does stand there and watch them, being sad and not realizing he’s sad at all. It’s the closest he ever gets to human interaction aside from killing people in trials.

The Entity hurts Max sometimes, not because he has done anything wrong, but because injuring him without providing even a way to prevent it keeps him peak feral and afraid, just like it wants. No time to recover or learn or grow. Just anger and pain and fear.

The Entity promises Rin a lot of things. Not because it has to, but because it enjoys the taste of her suffering. One of her addons is paper cranes, one of 1000 to make a wish, as the description says. I’ve always interpreted that to mean it likes to screw with her and offer her things like that she can do between trials, in the moments of lucidity she occasionally has when completely alone. ‘Make 1000, get your wish,’ but every time she hits 999, it blows the ones she’s made away, and she has to start over. Unclimbable hill. Just to watch her struggle. That kind of thing. Intentionally tends to send survivors her way it knows she would dislike killing the most, just to watch her have to do it against her will and bask in the horror of what she cannot make herself not do.

[haikyuu-drabble]

can you write a jealousy drabble w oikawa :)

why... do i have such a soft spot for this dude someone help idk who my fav is anymore. also thank you for requesting! i have some others in my ask box atm but i’ll prob get to them tomorrow i’ve literally written so much in the past couple of days im already a little burnt out and should prob wait for some motivation. it just sux bc ive some rly great ideas but im having issues putting it into words :’’’’)

________________________________________

Oikawa x Reader | Lengthy

word count: 1150

It pissed you off that you were jealous. It pissed you off that you had no right to even be jealous. It pissed you off that you felt like you’d never have a chance. ----------- Oikawa Tooru was one of your first friends at high school. You appreciated him coming up to you on the first day of class. None of your friends were attending Aoba Johsai, and you were sitting alone at your desk. You guessed he noticed that you seemed lonely, so Oikawa approached you. He had a knack for drawing attention to himself. Whether it was good or bad depended on the person, but to you it was good. He helped you make friends and reach out to strangers. The two of you were able to maintain a friendship despite his always growing popularity... and with your strong feelings for him.

Every time you thought you were getting over him, he’d reel you right back in with that stupid smile or his obnoxious comments. But you believed that he never viewed you the same way you viewed him.

You were slightly looking forward to getting over you how felt about Oikawa when you’d leave for university. But that plan was ruined when you found out you were attending the same school as Oikawa. When he found out that you were going to school together again, Oikawa was overjoyed, and you were too. But there was just a large part of your heart that hurt. It made you hopeful, and that’s what crushed you. ------------ You and your friend from another school, Bokuto, were currently at a volleyball match for the men’s volleyball team at your university. Oikawa invited you earlier that day to watch the game, and you figured it was a good chance to hang out with Bokuto since he’d probably want to scout out the competition for his own team. Unsurprisingly, Oikawa was first-string setter. When the game finally finished, you wanted to go up to Oikawa and congratulate him. However, you were pushed to the side by the girls who swarmed your classmate. That’s when you could feel yourself building up with jealousy which led to disappointment. Bokuto asked, “Aren’t you going to go up to him?”

“He looks busy. I’ll just text him later or something.” You smiled and shook your head, “I’ll just head back home.”

You began to walk away, but he grabbed your arm, “We watched the whole thing. I know Oikawa would be happy to see that you came. He asked you to come, didn’t he?”

“And I did just that.” you replied, “It’s fine.”

You walked out of the gym while Bokuto watched you. When you neared exit the gym, Bokuto looked back and forth in the direction of you and then at Oikawa who was distracted by the random girls. Bokuto roared, “Oikawa!”

You were too far away to hear Bokuto trying to get Oikawa’s attention, but Oikawa heard him loud and clear. Once Bokuto saw that he caught the setter’s attention, he pointed at your retreating figure. Oikawa excused himself from the girls who were talking to him and jogged in your direction.

You, on the other hand, could feel your heart breaking. You felt a mixture of emotions—anger, sadness, frustration. Tears started to form in your eyes. You felt so upset at yourself. 

You took a deep breath when you left the building and looked up at the night sky. Suddenly, someone grabbed your arm, and you turned around to see who it was. You saw a breathless Oikawa gazing at you. He saw the tears in your eyes and softly asked, “What’s wrong?”

You felt the tears start to well up even more, and you apologized, “I’m sorry.”

He put his hands on your shoulders and gently made you face him. Oikawa gave a supportive smile, “What could you possibly be sorry for?”

You looked at him, “I can’t be your friend anymore.”

Oikawa’s hands dropped to his sides, and he apprehensively laughed, “W-what do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said.” You mumbled.

“Where is this coming from?” Oikawa whispered.

“I’ve been trying for so long. I didn’t want things to turn out like this.” You cried, “I really wanted to be with you forever, but I can’t just keep on watching you like this. It hurts, you know? When I see you around all these other people flirting with you, I get jealous. I hate that you don’t feel the same way about me. I hate that I… I hate that I love you.”

“You love me?” Oikawa repeated.

You gave a sardonic smile, “Of course you wouldn’t know. I just thought that one day I would get over these feelings, but just being around you all the time gets my hopes up. But I knew the whole time that you would never feel the same about me.”

Oikawa held your cheeks and made you look at him, “What have I ever done to make you feel that way?”

You stared at him, “What?”

“You, dummy.” He laughed, “Why do you think I still ask you to hang out all the time? Why do you think I always ask you to come to my games? Why do you think I ran all the way out here to catch up to you?”

“I—what?” you asked again.

“For someone so smart, you can be so dumb.” He gave you a sweet smile, “I’ve liked you probably for a longer time than you’ve liked me.”

“B-but I’ve liked you since our second year of high school!” you cried, “And you’ve been going through relationships left and right since our first year.”

Oikawa’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red, and he mumbled, “I asked you out first year, and you denied me.”

“When did that ever happen?” you nearly yelled.

Oikawa yelled back, “The fact that you don’t even know when just goes to show!”

“You always joke around, so it’s hard to tell when you’re serious! Besides that doesn’t explain you dating other people!” you complained.

Oikawa grimaced, “Those were all flings and regretful ones at that. They clearly didn’t work out because here I’ve been, single for a couple years now!”

“T-that’s because of me?” you stuttered.

Oikawa cupped your cheeks, “If I hadn’t made that clear enough, maybe this will.”

His inched his face closer to you, and you clamped your eyes shut. A couple seconds had passed, and Oikawa’s hands dropped from your cheeks. You opened one eye and saw him squatting on the ground. He pouted, “You’re so cute! How could I even kiss you?”

You knelt down next to him and looked him dead in the eye. You quickly pecked his lips and stood up. Before he could even stand up, you were nearly sprinting away from him. He called out for you, “I have a meeting tonight to discuss the match! But don’t think I won’t be coming over to talk to your apartment about this!”

Without turning around to hide your beet red skin, you yelled, “I’ll be expecting you then!”

[lostinthewiind]

Omg you are so talented! Bless this blog 😊 Can I make a request for something sweet and fluffy with our fav murder baby Ron Speirs? Maybe where he cheers his s.o. up after a hard day + struggling with self-esteem issues? I hope that‘s not too specific!!! 🙈 Thank you ❤️

Golly, you’re much too kind! Thank you for reading my stuff! 

This is my very first murder baby Ron Speirs fic. Fingers crossed it turns out okay! Hopefully, I can really capture his murder essence with my words.

“You Did Not Kill That Boy”

Drawing your knees up to your chest, you closed your eyes and focused on your breathing, slowly trying to return the rising and falling of your chest back to its normal rhythm as you rocked back and forth on the bed.

Your head hung low as the events from that day flashed through your mind, causing your heart rate to increase, directly opposing the work you were putting in to calm down.

To put things plainly, it had been a real shit day. On what was supposed to be a routine patrol, Easy Company walked right into a German ambush. You had been the only medic present, so it was up to you, and you alone, to patch up the men who had gotten hit. However, your mind had been elsewhere. 

Ronald Speirs.

After the first Kraut had popped out of that damn bush, he had rushed forward, taking lead and directing the men into a plan of action. You hated when he did that; when he purposely put himself at more risk than necessary. 

While the Lieutenant and his men counter-attacked, you were left to pick up the pieces of the damage that had already been created.

Kneeling beside the bleeding soldier, his glossy eyes fixed on you as he pleaded over and over again for you to save him, you kept looking up to find the man you loved. There was a young man dying in front of you and all you could think about was Ronald and if he was okay or not. 

Hearing the doorknob twist, your head shot up and you wiped away the tears that you hadn’t even noticed had fallen from your eyes. You hoped you looked okay; like you hadn’t just been sitting in silence, bawling over the fact that you were a pathetic excuse for a medic.

“Ah, you’re here.” Ron smiled as he entered the room, closing the door behind himself before making his way over to the desk, placing a quick kiss on the top of your head as he passed by. “How was the rest of your day?”

You swallowed hard at the question. You hated lying to him, but you knew if you started to tell him the truth you would break down into tears again. You hated looking weak in front of him. He already had enough to deal with as it was with being a Lieutenant and the leader of Easy Company. He didn’t need to be burdened with your problems too.

“It was fine.” you forced a smile. “Yours?”

Ron sat down at the desk and began flipping through the various documents he had carried in with him. “Ah, you know, usual stuff after an attack like the one we had today,” he muttered, his tongue sticking ever-so-slightly out of the corner of his mouth as he searched for something in particular. “Had to fill out a report, check on the guys, draft a few letters home to the families of the men we lost.”

The face of that poor boy that you had failed to save flashed before your eyes. You felt sick to your stomach when you remembered how he begged not to die, his words coming out in gurgles as the blood spilled from his lips like a crimson waterfall. You could hear his voice in your ears so clearly it was as if he was sitting right behind you.

He had been so young and you had let him die. 

Before you knew it, you had broken down into a puddle of self-pity; tears running down your cheeks as you covered your mouth with your hands in order to muffle your sobs. 

Ron looked over at you from where he was sitting at the desk, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and his hands freezing mid-action. He had no idea what had happened — or if he had said something — that would have made you cry. He played back the previous short conversation between the two of you in his head, but he was still at a loss.

“Darling?” he slowly stood up from his chair and walked over to the bed, crouching down beside it and placing a comforting hand on your thigh. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

His question only made you cry harder as you tried to explain, but the only noises that came out were gasps and desperate hiccups. 

Ronald was no closer to figuring out what the problem was, but his mission was to find out and make it stop. He couldn’t see you like this. It broke his heart.

Crawling onto the bed, he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing tight and pulling you into his lap. “Darling.” his lips ghosted over your ear as he whispered to you. “Why are you crying? Please, tell me so I can make it better. What’s wrong?”

Burying your face into his neck, you grabbed fistfuls of his shirt for support and sucked in mouthful after mouthful of air. “I-” your lips quivered as you spoke. “I killed that boy!”

After the words flew out of your mouth you broke down again, your tears soaking Ron’s neck and the collar of his jacket. The worried man recalled mentioning the men that had died that day and having to write letters home to the families. Suddenly, everything made sense.

“Oh, Y/N, no you didn’t.” his heart shattered into millions of little fragments as he hugged you as close as he could to his body. “You didn’t kill him. The Germans did. The Germans killed him.”

“I should have saved him!” you screamed out, the words tearing through your vocal cords as you forced them out in between sobs. “He begged me to save him and I let him die! I was too busy looking for you and he died in my hands! I’m a terrible medic!”

Pulling your head out from the crook of his neck, Ron cupped your face in his hands and made sure you were looking at him. “You did not kill that boy, you hear me?” his voice was stern but his thumbs were gentle as they wiped away the tears under your eyes. “You are not a terrible medic.”

Your small hands moved from his uniform to his arms, your fingers wrapping around his wrists. “I was so worried about you.” you had managed to calm down a little. You took long, deep breaths as you looked into his eyes, focusing on how his irises appeared as an auburn colour from the yellow hue of the single lamp in the corner of the room. “You ran right out into the gunfire. I thought you were going to die.”

The corners of his mouth tugged into a small smirk. “Don’t you know by now that I can’t die?” he quipped, attempting to lighten the mood and succeeding.

You let out a noise that could only be described as a cross between a laugh and a snort. “Don’t try and be funny.” your smile faded just as quick as it had appeared. “I’m serious.”

“So am I.” he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your tear-soaked ones. “You didn’t kill that boy. Don’t you think that for even a second because it’s not true. I watched you work on him. I watched you battle death itself. The bullet went right through his throat. There was no saving him. He was dead from the moment that German lined him up in his sight.”

Inhaling deeply, you sat up straight and dried your face with your wrists. “Yeah?” you choked out.

“Yes.” he nodded, his palms still glued to the soft skin of your cheeks. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I respect you too much. I love you too much.”

A warm, genuine smile spread across your lips. Finally, for the first time in hours, you felt like you could breathe easy. The elephant that had been sitting on your chest and pushing you down into the ground had gotten up and sauntered away. 

“You know, if you were this sweet to everyone, people wouldn’t think that you kill POWs for sport.” you joked, a toothy grin replacing your previous closed-lipped smile. 

“Mmm, I don’t think so.” he gently removed you from his lap and stood back up again. “This side of me is for you and you only.” he captured your lips in his. “Besides, I like the men being scared of me. It makes getting them to do things easier.”

You shrugged as he wandered back over to the desk. “Fair point.”

Collapsing into the wooden chair, Ron looked over at you and sighed. “Feeling better?”

“You have that effect on me, yes.” you attributed your calmer demeanor to his comforting and caring ways. “If only you would just stop running towards the enemy in the first place.”

Ron glanced toward you, a wicked grin on his face. “Now where’s the fun in that?”

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Somebody to love; Brian May x reader

*Author’s note*

Now this isn’t really a part 2 to Soulmates through music fic but I couldn’t help myself and write a little fluffy piece for this oneshot. Now I’ve already written pt.3 and I just need to do pt.2 hopefully before my schedule gets too crazy with all the research papers I’m going to be doing till May. So again this is just a cute little side shot for pt.1 of a three part oneshot that I had in mind for our loveable astrophysicist because I will tell you guys right now, the next part will be pretty angsty so enjoy the fluff while you can.

Now I’ve changed up some stuff in regards to who wrote what, and since Somebody to Love has been my all time #1 fav. Queen song, I thought about reader-chan writing the song for the purpose of this fic so please NO HATE. Freddie will ALWAYS BE the genius for writing this song. Enjoy my darlings :) don’t forget to reblog and comment.

Part 1      Part 2     Part 3       Part 4

Queen taglist *open*

@geek-and-proud

______________________________________________

*Nov. 11th, 1976*

I was just digging through some of my old boxes my mum had brought over to our place.  There were photos that either belonged up on the mantel or never deserved to see the light of day and I have no idea why my mother would think Brian should ever see these photos. Just because we’ve been married for 4 months now, doesn’t mean he has to see everything about me.

That’s when I came across a medium sized shoebox that was labeled.

SONG BOX

Oh my god, I had not seen this thing since I was a teenager.  I opened it up for shits and giggles and took out every piece of paper that was in that box. Soon the table was practically covered with old songs that I had written growing up.

I picked up one song that I had written at 15 that I for whatever reason I titled, “Swag King”.  I cringed as I set it aside and unfolded another one that was called, “”. How I ever got by these song titles I’ll never know.  I smiled widely and softly laughed remember how each song was made to about the time I could start song writing at like 13-14 years old.

“What’s got you so happy?” my smile got wider as I felt the familiar arms of my husband Brian wrap around my 6 month baby bump.

Oh did I forget to mention that part.  Well apparently Brian and I had gotten so drunk during the after party of the tour that we ended up having unprotected sex and the next thing I knew as I was trying to find me a wedding dress with Veronica, Mary and my mum, I raced to the bathroom and started puking my guts out. Shortly after going to the doctors, it turned out that I was about 8 weeks pregnant.

God I was soo terrified to tell Brian, I mean yeah we’d agreed to have a wedding right after the tour but we weren’t ready to raise a child just yet.  

Queen was bigger and more famous than we had ever been, gaining more fans worldwide, albums selling out as soon as they hit the market and songs going straight to #1 on the charts.  A child into the mix at this height of fame just wouldn’t be right for us, or our baby.

But bless him when he had found out, he held me that day as I wept hysterically and told me that he still wanted the baby and that no matter what we were gonna be fully supportive of our baby, and he was going to try and be the greatest dad he could be and he told me I’d be the greatest mum to our baby girl.  Of course that soon started a debate between us scientists until it finally turned into a bet on what the gender would be.

When it came time for the gender reveal that we wanted to know at the appointment, it turned out that Brian was right so once our baby girl is old enough for camp, we’ll be sending her off the space camp as per request of Dr. Brian May. While if we had had a boy, then we as a family once he was old enough would travel to Africa and go on one of those safaris that I’ve always wanted to go on.  

But whatever the gender and no matter the bet, I’m happy that we’re gonna have a baby girl.  I’ve always imagined Brian being this overprotective father to his little girls, embarrassing them to no end, but also being the shoulder to cry if they needed it.  I know he’s gonna be a great dad to our little princess when she comes out.

“Just looking through some stuff my mum brought over.”

“What kind of stuff?” he asked as he began to softly kiss up and down my neck.

“Just some old photos, home movies she’d thought we’d need to watch and….my box of old song lyrics.” He stopped kissing my neck and said.

“Really, may I have a look?”

“Absolutely not. Just because you are my husband doesn’t give you the right to snooping through my stuff that I’ve kept hidden during my teenage phase.”

“Ohh come now love, I’m sure they aren’t that bad.” He then reached out for the “Swag King” on and read it.  I bowed my head into my hands as he said, “I was wrong, this is terrible.”

“Brian!”

“I’m joking! It’s not that bad. I mean ‘Call him the Swag, because he don’t make me gag’. It’s good.”

“You don’t have to lie to me I know that song’s horrible.” I pouted as I sat down on the chair.

“No, no darling I think it’s cute. What’s this one here?” He then reached out for another piece of paper and unfolded it as he placed his head against mine kissing it.  “Lovin Elvis?”

“I was 13 when I wrote that give me a break. I was extremely hormonal and you know how much I loved the King. All my friends were crazy about him.”

“Maybe I can have the lads look over this one. Maybe even have it put on the “A day at the races” album.”

“You even take one of these papers and show it to them I swear to god Brian Harold May you will never know what happened to your red special.” That got him to shut up as he put the song away and sat down.

For the next several minutes we went through every song I ever wrote from the time I was a young teenage girl, to about the time Smile was beginning to form.

“Hey (y/n),”

“Hmm?”

“When did you write this one?” Brian said as he flipped the page over revealing the lyrics.

“Is there not a date at the top?”

“No I’m not seeing one.”

“Here hand it over.” He gave me the song and I looked at it to see it titled; “Somebody to love”.  I searched for the date and like Brian said I couldn’t find one until it hit me, “Oh wait now I know why. I never dated my songs until after they were complete. But I know this wasn’t written over 10 years ago, in fact I think I wrote this for Smile. Maybe even as Tim was forming Smile back when it was just the two of us.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but when I ran it by him he told me the concept wasn’t ‘Rock and Roll’ enough. To gospel he said.” He looked over the paper once more and looked at me before taking my hand and suddenly leading me towards the piano we kept in our living room.  “Whoa, whoa Bri not so hard you do realize I’m six months pregnant with your child, anymore stress like that and I could burst and we’d have a child on our floor.”

“Sorry love, but I was wondering if you’d play the song for me?”

“Right now?”

“No in the next 10 years, of course now.”

“But Bri it’s not finished, I always hated singing incomplete songs, especially when left in the dust for so long.”

“Just please try, for me my love? For our baby girl? You know she loves it when her mummy sings to her.” He said as he lowered himself down to the ground and wrapped his arms around my bump and leaned his head against it, being sure to look up at me with those puppy blue eyes of his.

“Dick move using our daughter for your personal gain May.” I chuckled.

“But it works every time, don’t it?” I smiled and shook my head at him and agreed to it.  I opened the lid to the piano keys and had the sheet music in front of my on the stand and looked at it carefully.  I warmed up by playing a few chords and key changes before I dived right into the song.

By the time of the third word, my voice slightly cracked as I said.

“Oh Jesus I forgot how high I wanted that note to be.” And as I sung the last note as low as my voice could go, that’s when the piano playing began to pick up.  Like greeting a long lost friend, there was this connection and passion I had back when I had first written this song as my voice grew with a more passionate crescendo as I kept singing the song.

By the time I finished the chorus, I stopped playing and panted heavily.  I turned to Brian and he was just in awe at me.

“Well…..what did you think?”

“I think—we just found our literal Queen’s next big hit.” He leaned forward and captured my lips with his as we began to make out right there by the piano.

The next morning arriving at the studio, I had the song in my hand and I was nervously fiddling with it.

“I don’t know Brian what if the guys don’t like it?”

“Then they’d be bloody insane. I mean we were forced to put Roger’s car song on the last album and this song as at least three times as better than that song. They’ll love it darling, just like I did.” He said as he placed his hands on my arms rubbing them comfortingly. I sighed deeply and said.

“Okay I’m sorry. Guess pregnancy heightens my insecurities.”

“It’s going to all work out love, come on before Roger throws another coffee machine for us being late.” He wrapped an arm around me and we both entered the studio.

“About time you two showed up, thought you two would’ve been shagging or something.” Roger teased.

“I’m already pregnant with one child there Rog I don’t suddenly need another seed sprouting this late in the game.” I pointed at him.

“(Y/n) my darling, I swear you just keep getting more radiant with each passing day.” Freddie said as he came up and kissed both my cheeks.

“Oh stop it Fred, you jest.”

“I jest you not darling. The sun can’t compare to the shining light that stands before me.” He praised as he swung my hands back and forth.

“Lads, (y/n) actually has a future song ready for us.” Brian made the announcement.

“Really?” asked Deacy.

“Yeah I….well my mum brought in a bunch of old boxes from my family home and one of them happened to be my old song lyrics box. Filled with all the songs I’ve tried to write since I was 13 and Brian came across this song. It’s not finished and probably needs a lot of work but he says it’s Queen’s next hit. I don’t see it though.”

“Oh don’t be hard on yourself darling. Come now play it for us and show us what you’ve got and then we’ll see where to go from there.” Freddie said as he gestured me toward the piano.  He helped me sit down and I thanked him as I set the song on the piano stand and turned toward the boys who were all staring intently at me.

Brian nodded to me and gestured for me to breathe. I took a deep breath and proceeded to play the song for them, just as I had done for Brian last night.  Once I was done singing, Deacy, Roger and Freddie were all in deep thought and they all silently looked at each other.

“Well there’s something definitely wrong with your beginning statement before introducing us to this song. And that’s the fact that you don’t think this could be a Queen hit.” Roger stated.

“You’re serious.”

“As serious as he can get, yes it will need a bit of workshop but this song….I’m already hearing the bass for this song in my head right now.” Deacy said.

“Alright my dears, let’s get to work.” And it was then we immediately got to work on recording, ‘Somebody to love’.

“Okay so what I’ve got in mind is that this whole verse here is great, but it’s out of place. I think it should go somewhere after the bridge maybe even the third chorus.” Suggested Freddie.

“Okay I can see that, but then what would the second verse be?” I asked.

“How about this?” suggested Deacy as he held out a piece of paper.  I took the paper and saw.

“‘I work hard ((s)he work hard) every day of my life. I work till I ache my bones.’ Yeah I love it Deacy, but why did you put the he/she part in there?”

“Depends on whose singing this song of course.”

“Oh there’s no doubt, (y/n) will sing it. Won’t you darling?”

“Oh no, no, no, no Fred I—”

“Nonsense darling, this is something you clearly wanted to see come to life and I couldn’t sing it with as much passion as you give it. Well I could but I don’t want to.”

“Fred I don’t know, it’s rare when the fans allow a song to be sung by other than you. I mean you are the lead singer after all, they get all credits to singing.”

“Unlike most bands darling we share equal rights to songs. I didn’t reject Brian to taking the main leads to ‘39, hell I suggested you two take lead vocals for the chorus of that song. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to touch Roger’s sexual car song.”

“It’s a metaphor Fred!!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night dear.” He said as he turned to Roger before turning back to me and placing a hand on my shoulder, “The point is darling, take this as your time to shine as the actual queen of Queen. Do it for us, for my future goddaughter.”

“Did you teach him that?” I said as I turned to Brian who only shrugged but he had that guilty look on his face.  I sighed deeply and said.

“Okay, but you guys have to stop guilting me like that. I mean it, you all are just too cute for your own good when you guilt trip me by using my unborn child as an excuse.”  Freddie cheered and planted a kiss on my cheek and so it was official that I would be the lead singer for this song.

The song took a few days to record ever instrument and every playback so that our voices sounded like a choir of 100 singers. I had to practice which vocalization techniques I wanted on the repeated phrase of “fine me somebody to love”.  I ended up trying over 10 until I was finally proud with one of them.

*May 18th, 1977, Houston, Texas*

It was like any other concert, not quite as stressful as a tour where you’re managed like crazy in order to keep a schedule and then move onto the next city, here we were just performing for a couple of days.  I had just gotten done with maternity leave about a month ago after giving birth to my daughter, Chloe Franklin May.

And Brian was over the moon the second he got to hold his daughter in his arms.  The boys were so happy for us and they fawned over their niece and spoiled her rotten, mostly Freddie of course.  I had Chloe back home with my mum while I had to get back to the boys but I knew this concert was going to be broadcasted so I hope they were watching the telly back home.

We had just gotten done with playing Bohemian Rhapsody when Freddie spoke into the microphone.

“Thank you. Featuring (Y/n) May at the piano.” The spotlight shined on me and I waved to the audience who cheered, “We’ve missed her dearly since her maternity leave, but we’re glad to have her back. Right now we’d like to play a song written by (Y/n) when she was still a single gal, probably dedicated it to a certain man who’d soon become her husband.” I flipped Fred off and he chuckled at me, “It’s currently rising at the tops of the singles charts thanks to you. And featuring on lead vocals herself the true queen of Queen. Here’s (Y/n) May with her song ‘Somebody to love’.”

I played a chord of the piano and I began to sing the song.  I first started off softly much like the record and then the boys backed me up on the low note for the word ‘love’.  I picked up on the piano as Fred came and sat down beside me joining me until it became a brief double piano duet.

But then Freddie allowed me to take his mic stand as I now stood up and sung the first verse as I walked to center stage. The spotlight shining on me as I finally reached center stage, just a few feet away from Brian as the boys joined in behind me.  By the time the second verse kicked in, my voice grew with passion as I allowed my throat to give some of the notes that sudden growl that I did on the record that no one not even the boys saw coming when we recorded it.

By the end of the 2nd chorus, I was so into the song, that my body suddenly lost control as I was lost in the rhythm of the song.  I even undid my bun and allowed my long hair to fly outwards which got some cheers from the crowd and I threw my scrunchy toward the audience as I sung with more passion.

Finally Brian’s guitar solo came up.  He came right up to me, serenading me with his guitar which never failed to send shivers up my spine.  Much like how a male emperor penguin who serenades his future mate with his love song.

I smiled at Brian and the two of us touched our foreheads together as he kept playing his solo and I vocalized into the microphone before resuming the next chorus before the bridge that originally was the second verse that I had written.

The boys and I put all of our passion and heart into playing and singing the song and then once the repetition part of ‘find me somebody to love’ came on, I led the audience into clapping to the rhythm of Roger’s drumming and said.

“I want to see every single person in this room, see every single pair of hands. Three! Four!” We then began singing the mantra and I could hear the audience singing along as I began my vocalization while the boys sang the mantra.  Letting my voice both slide or slowly crescendo then decrescendo as I adlibbed some speaking lines and then once the last part of the mantra began I was already belting out an “ahh” vocalization.

Suddenly I felt Brian’s arms around me and as I turned his face was right up close to mine.  As I softly crescendo my last solo I wrapped my arm around Brian’s neck and as I sang the decrescendo vocalization of the word “love”, Brian slowly dipped me and I leaned my head backwards, feeling his nose softly graze my neck.

When he pulled me back up, our lips met and Roger and Fred took over the last few lines as Brian and I swayed softly in each other’s arms.  Our foreheads leaning against each other’s and once the song had ended, the entire stadium roared with applause.  Suddenly I was snapped out of my trance realizing that we were performing a concert.

I hid my face into Brian’s shoulder but he took me out of his embrace and held my hand upward and gestured to me and the audience seemed to cheer louder, chanting my name.

I couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across my face as I took in the fact that a song that was once criticized by my brother as too gospel, was now Queen’s next big hit among its fans.

After our performances in Houston we were now back home in London.  Brian and I cuddled up in bed just shortly after putting Chloe in her crib by singing her to sleep since she enjoyed both her parent’s singing to her.  My head resting on Brian’s bare chest as his hand stroked through my hair.

“You know what I had realized, about when I wrote Somebody to love? Well it was more like after I stopped writing it.”

“What?”

“The next day, that’s when Tim had introduced you as Smile’s new guitar player.”

“The day we first met.” He muttered.  I nodded and raised my head up and placed it against my palm as I stared up at Brian.

“Guess that song was magical even with its incompleteness.” Brian smiled and stroked my cheek as he said.

“Glad I found it among those other songs. I love you (Y/n) May, you are my somebody to love.”

“And you are mine, Brian May.” I leaned down and captured his lips with mine and we both kissed each other softly but with so much love until finally we cuddled close to each other and went to sleep.

[effyeahdolantwins-blog]

Feels like Dying (E.D) [Part 1]

Okay. So I asked if you wanted me to cut down this fic or post it whole. You guys said post it but because of the length I've had to split it into 2 anyways 😂 they're both out at the same time though so just check my blog for the 2nd part.

From the way Ethan sulks out of the editing room, you could tell it hadn’t gone well. You had conveniently positioned yourself at just outside the door so you could catch him right after he stormed out- you were the only person who ever seemed to be able to calm him down. So you stood outside the door and waited for the inevitable tantrum of screaming and shouting.

There wasn't much, thank the lord- just a clearly seething boyfriend who looked about two seconds away from lashing out at his twin brother.

"E, You need to calm down," Grayson tries.

But Ethan just shakes his head, "How am I supposed to calm down when the video has to go up tomorrow, and all of the footage is corrupted?"

You subtly slip out of the living room and position yourself in E's line of sight. When you were sure he saw you, you raised your brows then went into his bedroom and shut the door behind you.

A few seconds later, he follows, shutting the door so hard it rattled the Ikea shelves behind you. His breathing is ragged, and you wait a few moments before carefully reaching up and brushing his chocolate hair out of his eyes. His face is beet red, his hair sweaty, and you’d only seen a similar look in his eyes when he had gotten to upset and punched a window. (You’d talked him out of that one too).

"Hey, Ethan are you alright?"

Caramel eyes stare intently at something past your shoulder as if he might set it on fire through his gaze alone. “Hey. Look at me.” You tap his jaw gently with a finger, forcing him to make eye contact with you. “Everything is going to work out, okay.”

But Ethan only sighs loudly, stepping away from you, "I'm fine."

Okay, that's bad. Very bad. He's just going cold, his voice monotone and lifeless. Honestly, itd be better if he threw a tantrum and broke things. At least then you could help.

You decide to let him cool down, and place a chaste kiss to his forehead before leaving, giving Grayson a shrug as you go. If E wants space, that's what you'd give him.

After getting pizza in town, one plain margarita for you and two ham and pineapple for the boys (Ethan fav), you head back home. Hopefully he's had to me to chill out. You deliberate how to approach him; act like everything is okay and tell him you bought pizza, or acknowledge he's upset and ask him about his feelings?

Deciding to judge based on his feelings, You enter the house, groaning at the way Grayson is now just as red as Ethan was. Placing the pizza on the counter, You frown up at him, "What's up Gray?"

"Oh besides the fact my own brother has just tried to punch me because I asked him what's wrong," as soon as the words leave his mouth you're shocked.

No matter how bad Ethan has gotten, he's never been like this.

Upset now, You open your boyfriend's bedroom door only to be met with Ethan, his fists raised, "I told you stay out!"

You put your hands up, "Hey! It's me Ethan! God!"

He immediately drops his hands, staring at you for a moment before wandering to the other side of his room, running his hands through his hair. You plop down on the silk sheets of his bed, "What a warm welcome(!)"

"Why are you here?"

The coldness in his voice shocks you, and it hurts. You furrow your brows, "Um...I figured I'd come and see you. You seemed pretty pissed earlier. I...I brought pizza."

Apparently the offering of pizza isn't enough though, "You shouldn't be here."

"Last time I checked you were the one who gave me the key!" You're getting annoyed now.

"A mistake."

"A mistake?" You stand, the bed suddenly not so comfortable any more, "What do you mean it was a mistake?"

"I mean what I said," he turns to face you, eyes black and emotionless, "You. Me. It was a mistake."

"I-Ethan-"

He cuts you off, "Just shut up!" He's pacing now, back and forth, You wouldn't be surprised if Grayson could hear you from down the stairs.

"Hey! Don't tell me to shut up-!"

"SHUT UP Y/N!" All of a sudden you're pushed against the wall and you cry out, in shock more than pain.

Grays footsteps get louder as he runs into the room, coming between you and Ethan, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Your boyfriend's twin looks at you, concern lacing it's way into his features when he sees the fear in yours, "Y/N? Are you okay?"

All you can do is stare at Ethan though, unable to move for shock that he had actually just pushed you.

Grayson is seething, but Ethan speaks before he can, "I want you to go. Now. We're over."

Tears brim at your eyes instantly. Gray looks at his brother in disbelief, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just leave," is the last thing E spits before Grayson grabs your arm and leads you into his room.

He packs a bag roughly full of clothes and pulls his charger from the wall, shoving it into his pockets.

You're confused, "Gray, what're you.."

But Gray only gives your hand a tight squeeze, offering you a small smile, "Hey, you're a part of the family. Don't ever think you're not. If he wants to lash out at everyone. He can. I'm not staying here to pick up the pieces."

Soon enough, you're being pulled out of the house by Gray and into his car. You can't help looking up at Ethans window with a sense of regret though, and you pull your knees up to your chest, sobbing loudly.

Gray comforts you. The both of you stay at your apartment that you were supposed to sell this week to live with the boys full time. Good thing you didn't.

The days are spent playing video games and having movie marathons. Anything to take your mind off of the fact that Ethan was gone. That he didn't want you anymore.

Grayson had to apologise to the fans. He lies to why they're not making videos. Personal issues he says. Not the fact that they haven't been in contact for three solid weeks.

Night times are the hardest. Gray sleeps on the sofa, You in your bed and your heartbreak feels cold. It feels like concrete drying in your chest. This was all so unexpected - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Why is that? Is there part of him that hates to see you happy when he's miserable? 

You tries so hard. But he didn't care. Did he ever care? About anything?

Probably not.

“No, no- stop!” You toss and turn, trying to shove Ethan away from you. “Stop it! Stop saying that!” Heaving, you sit up in bed, almost hitting your head against the headboard.

Grayson is immediately by your side, stroking your face, telling you everything is going to be okay.

Salt has worked its way down your cheeks and it stings a cut on your lip. You must have bitten it in your sleep.

Damn stupid Ethan. You wipe your eyes and take deep breaths, smiling sadly at Gray. He's been your rock these past weeks, helping you cope, distracting you. He's been perfect.

It's crazy how much he's similar to Ethan, but then so different. God! Damn Ethan, damn him, damn him. It’s been a month and he’s still in your head. Only when you shove the blankets off you in frustration do you notice the banging on your door, loud and obnoxious against the steel.

You check the clock- 4AM. Grayson looks worried, "I'll get the door, You just wait right here."

The door opens and a figure stumbles into the room, "Y/N?"

That voice. You'd know that voice anywhere. Ethan...What the hell was he doing looking for you?

Grays voice is gruff when he answers his brother, "She doesn't want to see you Ethan, go back home."

"I'm not talking to you," he tries to get past Gray, but is pushed back, "I just want to see my girlfriend!"

His voice is trembling. Was he drunk? But Ethan never drinks. He hates the stuff.

You pull the blanket tighter around your body, biting down on your lip to stop from crying out. Blood enters your mouth again. Why was he here? Why was he doing this?

The last time he had seen you he wanted nothing more to do with you. And now he was here, calling you his girlfriend again.

It's just all too much.

Gray laughs dryly, " You gave up that title when you kicked her out of the house. She doesn't want to see you. Just leave."

"Oh I bet you're loving this," Ethan slurs, talking directly to his brother now, eyes turned black again. Face red. "I always figured you had a crush on Y/N. What an opportunity to be her saviour."

Gray is clenching his fists now, "Leave Ethan!"

But E carries on, "Tell me, do you kiss her better? She might be able to pretend it's me if you hit it from the ba-"

Punch.

Ethan is propelled backwards by the power of Graysons fist. He stumbles, clutching his nose. Blood spurts down his face and you run to the door, grabbing Gray's arm as he cocks it for another hit.

"Stop it Gray! He's not worth it," You whisper quickly to him, trying your hardest to pull him back. Gray outs his arm down, but stay in between you and Ethan, as if to protect you.

E stands shakily, using the bench outside for support, but collapses back down onto his knees, looking for all the world like he’s begging for you right in front of your face. “Please, Y/N. I made such a big mistake. You have to take me back.” He’s crying now, pleading like he’s bargaining for his life.

It hurts to see him like this. And you close your eyes, as if to not see him sobbing for you. Tears brim your eyes and you look to the floor.

When he sees your face, E softens, wiping the crimson from his face, "Y/N, I just want to talk."

You're not that pathetic though, and you manage to sob out, "I don't want to talk. Just leave Ethan. Please."

And he does.

He picks himself up off the floor, silent tears still crawling down his face. God, how you want to kiss those tears away. Hold him, and tell him everything will be alright, just like you had so many times before. But you hold your ground, even when he looks at you so sorrowfully you feel like your heart is being ripped out of its chest. The door closes behind him, and for one moment everything is still.

There's a part of you that wishes he would've stayed though. You don't want him to leave, not really. It's like you don't want him to go but seeing him hurts you so much. The pain feels as if you're being stabbed a thousand times in the heart but you can't die. It's agony.

Gray engulfs you in an embrace, and you cry into his chest, your body shaking violently. He holds you, like he's trying to stop you from running after his brother. Like he knows what you're thinking.

You can't manage to sleep, so instead you lay with Grayson, snuggles up in his arms watching TV. You aren't even sure what's on, some kind of animation. But you're not watching it anyways.

All you can think of is Ethan.

Then there's a buzz from the table. Your phone. Douche (the thing Gray changed Ethans name to) flashes on the screen. Gray frowns at you, but you pick up regardless, ready to tell E to leave you alone. Instead of Ethans familiar voice though, a clear females voice comes from the other end of the line, "Hello is this Y/N Y/L/N?"

Stunned, You wait a second before answering, "Um...yeah, yeah this is Y/N."

"My name's Christy, from Los Angeles general hospital. It seems that Ethan has gotten into an accident-"

Dun. Dun. Duuuuuunnnn! Second part will be up shortly 😁 remember to leave me a comment letting me know if you like.

[occupyvenus]

Great post - "about why Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly thought about" and I think your really nailed a lot of the key factors, especially how the San/San people like Sansa, are more likely book readers and can accept the Jonsa ship maturely. There is definitely a pathological hatred of Sansa that drives the fanaticism against her being with Jon. You really captured a lot of the thinking (if you can call it thinking!) on a tv forum I've been following for about a year. People literally (1/2)

will dream up any reason to keep Sansa away from Jon. There is essentially a subculture that allows the Jon/Ary@ ship and the Jon/D@ny ship to coexist. Even kind of support each other. Dany might die and then Arya and Jon will raise the Targcest baby together. Pretty crazy stuff. Anyway thanks for writing so clearly on this topic. (2/2)

First of all … that was supposed to say FOUGHT ABOUT!!! NOT THOUGHT ABOUT!!!  WHY JONSA OF ALL SHIPS IS SO BITTERLY FOUGHT ABOUT!!!

I lower my head in shame, while contemplating my bad habit of never proof-reading the stuff I write. But as the previous anon so correctly pointed out my spelling isn’t exactly top-notch. Most of the time it’s honestly  p r e t t y  bad. If words sound somewhat similar, by stupid brain assumes they’re interchangeable. Seven hells.

Though I think this - Sansa being regarded as a side character or at best, the least important main character - also explains why Jonsa isn’t seen as a possibility by the general fandom, not just the radical antis. People look at the infamous original outline, believing that Sansa never gained any real importance as a character since then, like she was just allowed to tag along with the “real” key five (Arya, Bran, Dany, Jon and Tyrion). She was supposed to marry Joffrey and die at some point and the crazy folks think she’ll not even survive but also get THE MALE LOVE-INTEREST?  I suppose, to people who don’t realize (or don’t want to admit) that Sansa was “upgraded” to key-status (GRRM always includes her when talking about the most important characters nowadays), any serious theory that claims she could be Jon’s grand love interest sounds as implausible as if it was … idk, Arianne or Brienne or whoever. Those two are great and all, but Jon Snow is on an entirely different level when it comes to significance to the narrative. Why would he of all people end up with some puny side-character? Shouldn’t that “honor” go to one of the real heroines? Makes sense. It’s not just the people who actively hate on Sansa, but also those who simply don’t care much about her character. 

I guess you call this hypothesis “Why Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly FOUGHT about and/or not taken seriously”. 

I’m honestly not an expert on what’s going on between the other camps (ie the general attitude between J0nry and J0nerys shippers), but according to my experience these two subgroups (together with the Sansa/P€tyr shippers) make up the majority of devoted jonsa-haters and put forth the most obsessed ones as well. If I remember correctly, a few years back before canon!jonsa gained so much momentum those two groups weren’t getting along nicely either. There was a lot of bickering about who’s more important (Ary@ is grrm’s fav!, D@ny has dragons and all, so shut your piehole!), mixed up with some shipping wank and as far as I can tell (as I said, I have a very limited perspective on this. I don’t really interact with either group), that has gotten a bit better since Sansa entered the stage as another key female character. What do people say? The enemy of my enemy … 

I don’t think that shipping is super important to asoiaf, I care about the story first and was pretty indifferent to it before I jumped on board the Jonsa ship, but I do think that we’ll get one “main” romance between two “main” characters. It would simply make sense to me, Grrm was never shy about including romantic love in his works, even if it was never the main focus. Now, this will more likely than not end in tragedy, but since asoiaf can be read as a coming of age story for at least 5 of the key six, and settling down with a spouse and a couple of kids is one common way to end such a story, maybe that will belong to the “sweet” part of the bittersweet ending. Idk, anything’s possible. (Btw, I don’t count Sansa and Tyrion’s marriage as a “romance” for obvious reasons.) If you don’t subscribe to the idiotic assumption that Jon and D@ny are the “real” real main characters and assume that all six are of equal importance … why is shipping either of them (other than the biological siblings, perhaps, that would be a bit weird even by grrm standards), less legit than the other? (Of course, if you do subscribe to this assumption, there probably only exists one “legitimate” pairing in your opinion. In which case, no argument about this could ever be solved until finding a common denominator to this question of principle, so why even bother…)

If one of the male characters can be seen as the “romantic lead” it would be Jon (grrm even sorta confirmed this in his “fake” -lol- medusa interview), simply because Bran is just a kid and Tyrion, well some people will accuse me of ableism, but I don’t get any “romantic lead” vibes from him. Not because he’s a dwarf, because he’s the only “grownup” of the key six. So everyone can keep any accusations to themselves. I also don’t think that Grrm will stride away from hetero-love, to be honest. HE COULD. But I don’t think he will. That leaves us with the three possibilities mentioned above: Jon and one of the leading ladies. I think it’s rather inevitable that that will happen. 

But when it comes to the ladies … things simply aren’t as clear. They’re all similar of age, neither of them is closely related to Jon (at least, not THAT closely related), they could all work. I obviously don’t like J0nerys, but I can totally understand why so many people believe in it. I would maybe even ship J0nrya a bit, if it wasn’t almost impossible to find shippers who don’t hate on Sansa/Jonsa. And I would never call either of those groups “delusional” because it basically comes down to personal preference and a couple of other factors, most notably how you judge the future projective of these three characters. 

I also hate the assumption that J0nerys is the only pairing with solid foreshadowing in the books. I read the books a few times, all j0nerys meta I could find, plenty of J0nrya ones and, well, I don’t have to talk about all the jonsa-metas I’ve consumed xD. Trying to remain as unbiased as possible, there’s an almost equal amount of foreshadowing for all of them. I simply came to the conclusion that Sansa is the most likely candidate because a) I’m pretty sure D@ny will go dark and there will be a targbowl of sorts. She could just as easily be a love interest, as she could be an adversary. b) The age-gap between Ary@ and Jon is a bit too big for my liking. Especially at their current canon age. Also I love them siblings so much. And c) Sansa’s upgrade and the drastic change in her narrative must have a reason. Martin liking the idea of tormented pseudo-incest, and the reveal of Jon’s parentage making such a relationship “proper” but deciding to emphasize the brotherly bond between Jon and Ary@ and “using” Sansa’s character as the love interest instead simply makes sense to me. 

But I only came to this conclusion because I consider Sansa to be of equal importance. It’s more or less a precondition of even consider Jonsa, even more so to ship it in a canon kind of way. 

Now, to put an end to this little rant and get back to the original topic, D@ny and Ary@ stans regularly accuse Sansa of “stealing their narrative” or at least “Sansa-stans want her to have it all”, so it’s no surprise that they a) don’t want her to be key player and b) subsequently don’t want her / can’t see her ending up with Jon. There are a few very great posts out there dealing with the issue why Sansa is hated so much, but I think it comes down to (to get off topic one more time, because it’s my speciality)

Misogyny. Feminine characters always attract a lot of unwarranted hate (female characters and general, but at least on tumblr … one can undeniably see a certain trend), more so the ones who don’t take off their clothes. There’s this really nice post going around that as a female character you either have to a) be a sex object or b) act like a man. I would link to it if only I could find it. I’m not going to add much to this, it has been talked about many times. 

You can’t live vicariously through her. Sansa’s narrative often is … very frustrating. Nobody “wants to be Sansa”. People want to be the rebellious, fighting girl who doesn’t take any shit, they want to be the mother of dragons who goes around the world freeing slaves, they want to be Jon kicking some White Walker ass, they want to be the future three-eyed-raven (though Bran is seriously underappreciated by the fandom), they want to be a smart ass know it all, like Tyrion. They don’t want to be the girl stuck in situations she has almost no means of escaping. The sad truth to this is though, most people, if they found themselves in the same situation, “would be Sansa”. Most people aren’t active heros who fight against the unjust system all the time, most people aren’t geniuses, or brave enough to put themselves in harm’s way for the sake of other all the time. I actually fell in love with Sansa’s character because of that. (Though I have to admit myself, I was rather indifferent to her character for partially those exact reasons myself). It’s refreshing and a honest take on human nature to have a heroine who mostly has to resort to endurance and passive resistance. Mostly, not always. I don’t subscribe to “Sansa is weak and useless” weekly. Don’t get me wrong. She’s awesome and badass in her right, it’s just a bit harder to notice and appreciate. In this aspect she’s probably the most “realistic” character of the key six and people don’t like to read the truth about themselves. They wanna read about what they want to and could be. 

People are projecting. HARD. I spent a lot of time wondering why Sansa gets so much shit for her “evil deeds and traits”, in a series where people kill other people, shove children out of windows, burn people alive, rape a slave prostitute, and so on and so forth. And you know what? It’s easier to “forgive” those things because they are so absolutely horrendous. All these things are so far removed from our everyday reality (for most people at least), that it severs our emotional connection to it. Don’t get me wrong, we can still judge their behaviour, we can still emphasize with the victims, but we have no personal experience to connect to. But Sansa’s “villainous characteristics” (especially those of s1/agot)? An ignorant, privileged white girl who is mean to her little sister for being different, is caught up in some naive classicism, does stupid shit because she has a crush on some asshole everyone else could sniff out a mile away and always has to be so fucking perfect all the time. NOW THAT IS A “BAD GUY” WE KNOW! That’s a “villain” we all encountered in real life. To put this in different terms: I’ve never been pushed out a window for witnessing a incestous relationship between two people of high social standing (nor has anyone close to me), but have I felt victimized by my sister being the pretty, perfect girl, while I was the loud, unruly, unattractive tomboy? Yeeeeeeeeeeees. Have I ever actually lived through the experience of my elder sister getting nicer gifts than me, because “I would just break them”? Yeeeeeeeeeeeesss again. I grew out of it after elementary school, of course (okay, to be completely honest here, I might have still struggled with it during puberty, but thank god that’s also behind me). This also works the other way around: I have never been in the situation of “having” to push a kid out of a window, because it witnessed my incestous relationship and I, my sister-lover and our three children would lose their heads if he told anyone. I’ve never had slave master nail 163 children to crosses to piss me off. Idk, man. I have no idea what I would do. I never had to deal with shit like this. Who am I to judge? But then people look at the “mean” things Sansa did and go I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER. (though they probably did at some point in their life). 

Since this is tumblr, I have to note something: I don’t think this applies to everyone who dislikes Jonsa. I don’t think that everyone who dislikes Jonsa also dislikes Sansa. I’m not even saying that everyone dislikes Sansa for the reasons listed above. Before you accuse me of any of this, make sure you didn’t fall victim to a logical fallacy. I had enough of those lately. Those are just a few of my personal observations and conclusions, that I think, apply to quite a few people. If your reasonings and opinions are completely different, great, I’m not arguing, just don’t give me any shit about it.

So to draw some final conclusion for this long ass post: Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly fought about and/or not taken seriously, because a) Sansa attracts a lot of hate for several reasons, b) Sansa is considered to be too unimportant to be the “romantic lead” kind of main character grand love interest.

Shipping Jonsa is not “delusional” if you a) consider all three lead ladies to be of equal significance and b) don’t dislike Sansa. (Though since this is Tumblr, I might point it out one more time: This does not mean that anyone this applies to also ships Jonsa. This does not mean that this doesn’t also apply to people who don’t ship Jonsa. This does not mean that only people who stan Sansa hard ship Jonsa - I myself actually started shipping it because I staned Jon so much and I need my baby to be happy. Some people who fulfill both a) and b) might still believe that Jonsa shipper are “delusional” simply because it’s the common narrative of a big portion of the fandom.)

… Now that I think about this, the entire question could have been answered with the last paragraph alone, but you know how we do, go big or go home.  

[sunnysidewrites]

Soonyoung x Tired!Reader

PLEASE READ!

i feel extremely bad for putting off requests for a while but i needed to write this. thanks to @chanilovehours for suggesting this and honorary mention to @mansaeboysbe admin bee for being part of the SSS, the Soonyoung Support Squad LOL (pls join we need more ppl that appreciate the underrated),,,, so this was mainly for me,,,,as a comfort piece. i have been overwhelmed so much recently and i just needed something to comfort me. i’m extremely emotionally burnt out and just feel exhausted all the time, so for all the readers out there who are struggling to get by every day, this one is for you. you’re all worth it, and you deserve to live a life where you’re doing you and enjoying what you’re doing every second. you all deserve to be on this planet, to be breathing this air, to be out there discovering what you were meant to do. this one is for all the people who have been dealing with just a lot of stuff and need someone to tell them that you’re doing great and that you’re so so strong for being here. because i know for sure that i am one of those people. this focuses more on the reader rather than the member. happy reading from your fav mom <3333

“You can’t do anything right anymore, y/n. Forget it, just go home for the night.”

You slowly got up and nodded in resignation, slowly heading out the door in the chilly brisk wind

You hugged your scarf and coat around you tighter as if the physical warmth would somehow change the ever-increasing void inside

This week just wasn’t your week, to say the least

Your boss had practically given up on you by the time it was wednesday, and now it’s friday

You were worried you were this close to losing your job

You text a friend?

“Sorry can’t talk right now, busy with work”

You need to meet up to work on your group project?

They don’t pull through and end up piling you up with their work on top of your own part

You got a bad mark on a test that you studied extremely hard for but just couldn’t grasp the material despite trying to go to office hours in between your shifts

Your roommate is never around to clean the apartment so once again, it’s up to you

Recently, your boyfriend had been occupied as well thus you didn’t spend as much time with him as you wanted to

You were just a Mess

And barely getting through it

You wanted to get any affection from your loved ones but all of them were so busy, not to mention your family was states away and you knew they were going through a rough patch as well

All you could do was get through the next day,,,, and the next

All the irritating group projects, the test with the big fat mark staring back at you, all your friends being occupied, your boyfriend having no time to even text you,,,,

It all built up and you were ready to snap at any given moment

You were hanging on a loose thread, a thread that needed only one more tug to be torn apart

Am i a bad friend? you thought

Am i a bad student? you wondered

Can I not do anything right? you posed

You just couldn’t fathom why so much could happen in such little time

As you stopped in front of your door, you sluggishly fished out your keys from your pocket and inserted it in the lock but not before letting out a small sigh and resting your forehead on the door

You shook your head as if it will temporarily rid of your thoughts

The second you closed your door you heard a “welcome home!”

You froze. It was definitely not the sound of your roommate

You turned around to see a comforting familiar face

Soonyoung was right in front of you with his usual toothy grin and crescent eyes

You were staring at him dumbfoundedly, your mouth agape and your eyes widened

“You recently told me where the spare was to get that paper you left in your room, and…. I kinda remembered about it. I know that I haven’t made enough time to be with you, but I thought that with everything going on right now, you just needed someone--”

You cut him off by running straight into his arms and clinging tightly on his old shirt, taking in his warmth and the all-too-familiar scent that sticks on his clothes

He’s taken aback for a second before he fully encloses you in a lung-crushing hug

You can’t tell if you can’t breathe from the strength of his arms or if you’re trying not to cry

He senses your hesitance and starts languidly drawing circles on your back

“Hey… I’m here now. You can let it all out. Don’t hold anything back. You’ve been strong throughout the entire time, so don’t worry. I’m here,” he would repeat

The tears that you had managed to keep in the whole time, this entire week, and maybe even months prior

Once his words escaped his lips, the barrier broke and a stream rolled down your face uncontrollably

He kept your face in his chest, not caring the slightest about the stains left on the front of his shirt

He only stroked the back of your head and continued rubbing circles, fully acknowledging your disdain for crying, especially in front of him

“It must have been tough,” he whispered, “but you’re ok. You’re gonna be ok”

He presses light kisses on the top of your head

You weren’t crying at this point; you were full on weeping

And you only wept harder at his overbearingly sweet gestures

“You’re…. You’re too good for me, soonyoung” you choked out

“Shh, don’t say anything,” he rocked you back and forth

“I don’t… deserve any of this”

“Hey now… don’t say that. There’s not anyone else who i would rather be in love with. You’re such a strong woman who has been dealing with such crazy events, but you forget that you have a support system”

He gently pulls you back to take a look at your face, but you can’t look him in the eyes because of your pride

“y/n… look at me” he places a hand on your cheek and softly turns your face

Your eyes travel up to the tear stains smeared on his shirt to up his broad shoulders to eventually the concern and love in his eyes that never fail to reel you in

“You don’t have to be perfect at anything. In fact, you could be terrible at everything”

You hit him lightly and laughed wetly, earning a small smile from him

“What matters is that you’re you. You’re not afraid to be yourself. You have no regrets just letting go of every stereotype and proving you’re so much more than what you’re perceived as. You don’t stop trying to be the best person you can be. And no one can ever ask anything more from you”

You only glanced back at the ground, your eyes watering once more

He took you in and pressed his lips on your forehead

“It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. And it’s okay to tell me these things, even if we don’t see each other often”

“I don’t know how i managed to snag someone as wonderful as you” you smiled bittersweetly

He let out a breathy giggle

“I believe you’re the wrong person to ask this when it should be me”

You laughed as you wiped away the streaks on your cheeks

“I really don’t understand”

“You don’t have to. We’re just two people in love”

You placed both your hands on either side of his face and took in the blessing you were gifted with

“Yeah… that’s about right. I love you”

he leans his forehead on yours before slowly closing the gap between your lips

“I love you too,” he murmured before capturing your lips, the both of you taking the time to pour all your emotions in the slow but passionate kiss

[nikelyzed]

JSeries Festival 2017 Report

Jakarta, 9th December Upperroom Annex Building 10th Floor

First of all sorry this report was written on broken English because I do believe it’ll be a total fiasco if I wrote it in Indonesian, trust me Please forgive me if there’s any grammar / spelling mistakes (´;ㅿ;｀) Also, taking photos was strictly prohibited when the talk show started inside the venue, that’s why I only have 4 badly taken photos on the photo session for the report orzz

If you’re looking for certain guest artist report please just scroll down because it’s gonna be a poorly written long ass report LMAO

This is the shortest dead-lined trip I ever done in my life, like it’s less than 2 weeks & I almost surrender because of office deadlines were crammed up into 4 days Also my phone was broken when the announcement was out Jakarta is a complicated place & I’m hella afraid straying there all alone, but luckily I have some friends who offer me place to stay ｡ﾟ(ﾟ^o^ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Special thanks to Maya & Shadent who let me stay at their place [and I still feel bad kicking Maya from her bed LMAO I’m so sorry orzz]

December 8th 2017

So the day before I was going to Jakarta, I woke up at 4am to pack my stuff but still almost late for the train departure LOL The train supposed to depart at 7.35am & I just arrived at the station at 7.20am I was running around like an idiot I swear 😂

I arrived in Jakarta at 11am  went to the ticket venue as soon as I can I met with friends I already know & some new friends, which I forgot--😂 They even let me touch their bromide collection [& took photo of it gsxcvjgacxg]

I’m screeching like an idiot when I saw SatoKiyo bromide because-- do I need to explain this part???  ((유∀유|||))

After exchanging email reservation with the ticket & having lunch, we went to karaoke & I almost lost my voice in the process

At night I really want to bang my head because I’m contemplating whether I should draw a gift for Ogotan or not since there’s no announcement of gift box for guest artist & I forgot to ask the staff about it too orzz But I decided to draw art gift for him in the night yet unable to finish because I was too sleepy, exhausted, & nearly heat-stroked because Jakarta heat is never a joke to begin with If you’re weak against sun-heat like me please bring umbrella / hat & put as many sunscreen & sunblock as you can, I mean it

December 9th 2017

The next day I woke up at 4am sharp but was shocked to my spine because Maya was sleeping on the floor instead on the bed  (´･_･`) Since we both still sleepy we decided to continue sleeping again but now it’s my turn to sleep on the floor ofc

We woke up again at 7am & doing satan speed preparations because the traffic is gonna be nasty if we’re late for real

We managed to arrived on the venue at 9am something I took a shortcut to get to the empty spot because my bag is hecking heavy & I can’t wait to sit, this resulting to the gate-border-thing to snap & fall, sorry security-san I’m too eager orzz

After that we sit on the line until open gate time I spend my time rolling around back & forth to some friends while waiting I even can continue the gift for Ogotan & finished it on time Since we forgot to buy envelope for the fan letter I decided to sacrifice my red folder file to contain all the letter for Ogotan

I swear I was nervous as heck when people start staring at it like hjvghcvaxhjdvvf no I’m not cheating on Ryuji this is just a normal gift yet some people still teasing me about it until now ((유∀유|||))

Oh I also met friends from previous karaoke session Alchemilla, Caneera, Kuyo, Maya, Evelyn, Salfa, Shadent, Nopi, Ika, Nindita, Nadya, & idk the rest please remind me because my memory was as bad as Higekiri or even worse---  ┏( .-. ┏ ) ┓

2:45pm Open Gate

We’re running a little bit late from schedule but finally we entered the hall I got the first row seat on the middle wing, I sit on the left side right across to the press chair row on the left wing Never have I felt so blessed before, it’s so close to the stage I swear I can even jump over the fence if I want to, but of course I won’t do that la I still have some sanity intact

The rest of this report was based on my memory so please kindly tell me if I made any mistake over the schedule / what the artist said or do OK?  |ω･`)

The MC was Hiroaki Kato [the cool & kind oyaji] also a pretty lady who I failed to remember her name oops sorry  (´･_･`)

In the opening we have many dorama screenings, & if you’re curious the list of dorama can be found here 

Saso Yuki fangirl section

The first guest artist to appeared was Saso Yuki the P*cari Sweat girl on youtube I never think she will be this pretty up close I swear she’s prettier IRL, the photo / video you saw were nothing hvfkacvxgyuedf  (///﹏///).｡oஇ

She greets & introduces herself in Indonesian. The rest of talk show was about acting & stuff. She also talk about the making of P*cari Sweat TVC Yuki Saso hope Indo & Japan can have greater relationship in the near future

IDK if it’s just me, but when I was too busy gaping like a fish & stare at her for solid minutes, she look at my direction and waved and smiled so bright AND I JUST DIED HDVGSHHJVCSJBC I swear she’s sooooooooo sooooooooooooooo pretty that you could melt when she’s smiling LOL I forgot things she said since I was dumb-strucked by her beauty

After that we had another screening time

Nano fangirl section

The next guest artist to perform was Nano She’s also gorgeous up close & she’s very happy to perform in Indonesia since she was cancelling her previous concert in Jakarta due to some circumstances She also told us that the venue her concert supposed to be held was this exact venue we’re sitting on & we’re going “whoaaa” in unison

When Nano was going to sing, the sound system died--- The audience was very supportive & cheer her up with kind words The Nano support team was amazing, you guys rocks!  (≧∇≦ ) If I’m not mistaken Nano sing “Savior of Song” & “The Crossing” It was amazing performance, we stand & sing along together

Next we have another screening time

Isomura Hayato & Yahagi Honoka fangirl section

After screening time, there’s guest artist arrived & I scream on top of my lungs because I thought it was Ogotan But false alarm, It’s actually Isomura Hayato from Kamen Rider Ghost & I still screamed anyway  ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`) This talk session was also attended by Yahagi Honoka-chan & I was dumb-strucked by another beauty LMAO Seriously she’s so cute up close  (灬ºωº灬)♡

Their first impression of Indonesia was it’s hot but they both like it since its freezing winter on Japan Both talk a lot of things, about acting & stuff. Both were asked if there’s drama collaboration with Indonesia will they interested or not but of course the fans said the deadpanned big big no since Indonesia soap opera quality is kinda-- well-- you decide la--😂

I don’t remember what they talk because I forgot to take notes of it But there’s this section when Hayato-kun asked why he become a Kamen Rider, he said it’s his dream to protect girls [he clearly said ‘Josei’ here] Hiroaki-san teases us “Who want to be protected by Hayato-kun?” And this dork whose name is Hayato-kun just casually stretch his hands out to audience direction while nodding, like offering a hug Of course the fangirls roars the signature “KYAAAAAAAA” including me Who don’t want to be protected by a handsome guy anyway??  (//∇//)

Another funny thing, when I was staring right into Hayato-kun [he’s so gorgeous IRL I swear] idk if he realized I was staring or he’s actually looking at the press which is right across my seat-- He look at my direction A LOT & I pretend to stare at Honoka-chan, this happened many many times it feels awkward LMAO o)-(;;; I keep chanting “Hayato-kun please don’t look over here, just lemme enjoy your gorgeous face peacefully”, but he keep looking at my direction once in a while Oh well, considered it blessings  ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`)

When the times up we had another screening TADAAAAAH it’s YOWAPEDAAAAAAA I was soooooo prepared to see Ogotan but since I can see towards the backstage entrance it’s actually a female silhouette walking to the stage

AND DAFUQ IT’S ACTUALLY YUKI KATO LMAO  😂 😂 😂

Being a country field person I’m, I still scream because she was also one of my childhood fav actress on Heart movie since she’s so cute & relatable as duck LMAO

She talked a lot about acting, awards she won in Japan, & so on The funny part is, when she was asked what kind of movie she like to watch she gesture “mampus gue” with her lips which can be roughly translated as “sht I’m screwed” 😂   

No worries Yuki-chan, we understand that fangirl feeling, really 😂 😂 😂

After talk with Yuki-chan, the kameko-ninja-guy set some band property so I relax a little, thinking it was Rei performance

Never been I’d be so wrong in my life

Ogoe Yuuki massive fangirl section

When Hiroaki-san announce the next guest artist I nearly fell of my chair because FINALLY OGOTAN APPEARED HOLYDUCKXVHSVKVXHTXAKOZ

I wonder if I actually died on the spot because Ogotan look so gorgeous & cute & pure & angelic idk man I’m wheezing my life out  (´×ω×`) He wore a suit which has the same color as my attire & I got teased again orzz

First he was greeting us with a broken Indonesian along with a sheepish smile His jumbled face when he ask Hiroaki-san how to read the Indonesian language, it was soooo so cute, so pure, so angelic, so fluffy hhhnnnggghhhhhhh He continue the gibberish Indonesian greetings cutely which we all failed to understand, the audience went “???” & he also went a little “???”  😂 

Its okay Ogotan, we still love you 😂 

His first impression of Indonesia was it’s extremely hot ofc Hiroaki-san offered if he had any intention to bike around while in Indo But of course the Ogotan support team won’t let him, giving him the no gestures and chanting “dame-dame-dame” together  😂  We don’t want Ogotan to bike in these messy road & of course Indonesian sun is unhealthy for his flawless skin so NOPE  ლ(ಠ益ಠლ WE SHALL PROTECT OGOTAN AT ANY COST!! - said someone

He talked about acting, dorama, and also butai. He explained to us the differences between dorama & butai, their specialty & so on For example is when he’s on Yowapeda butai he only use bike handle, while in dorama he need to bike for real

Between the talk he sends lots lots of heart gestures, both Korean heart finger sign & full fledged love hand sign toward the audience & there goes the audible “KYAAAAA” signature roaring from back to the front including me LMAO

He keep smiling & shooting heart & sending loves & waving & idk man

I feel so attacked when he look at a folder file I was carrying earlier I decided to showed it to him when he’s looking & making “it’s for you” hand gestures He smiled at me, HE SMILED AT ME FOR DUCK SAKE & SEND ME A FULL FLEDGET HEART SIGN WITH BOTH HAND & I JUST MELT IN THE NAME OF LORD I WAS NEARLY DIED LMAO  ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇωஇﾟ)ﾟ｡

It’s hecking embarrassing so I just cover my face with the folder file but Ogotan seems to know I was a weakling & he keep shooting me heart sign & tilt his head cutely & I died again & again LMAO OGOTAN STOPPP I CAN’T HANDLE IT GXBXCHSGLGBLTFXGKHS

[I need to apologize to Ryuji later I swear]

He talks about a lot of stuff but I barely remember what he talk on stage since what I heard & remember were just "KYAAA KYAAA KYAA” from start to the end I kinda feel bad for Hiroaki-san because his translations were drowned between sea of fangirl screams  ( ；∀；)

When the talk session time is up, there goes another fangirl scream, the saddest one you’ll ever heard, it feels like you just kicked a kitten / puppy

I was also started crying without I realize because I always cry when fangirling By I mean crying was rolling literal tears from my eyes because I’m a weakling to every people I adore including actors, singers, whatever

Here comes the angst I’m so so sad because we only can see him for about 15 minutes & after that idk when will we can see him again so I started crying for real but inaudible one ofc

By the end of the talk, Ogotan said something like : “Thank you for loving me. It was my motivation & it supports me to keep going on. Thank you very much & please take care of me too in the future”

I don’t remember the exact thing he said but he does say ‘Aisarete’ something something & on here my friend who understand Japanese better was already bawling  ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ ｡

AND CAN YOU GUESS WHAT?? HE LOOK AT MY DIRECTION AGAIN & SEND ME ANOTHER HEART SIGN & OF COURSE I WAS CRYING EVEN MORE LA OMFG WHAT A WRONG MOVE OGOTAN LMAOOO CRYYYYYYYYYYY  .˚‧º·(ฅдฅ｡)‧º·˚. He also kindly send me a “nakanaide” gesture with his lips & I’m sending him an OK sign while wiping my tears LMAO what am I doing with my life, really I started thinking if I’m being delusional & Ogotan never did any of these but please, just let me be 😂💖

After that Ogotan fangirl time was over & I’m still crying LMAO HAHHAHAH He keep shooting hearts & smiles so bright it can light up the whole universe The audience finally fall silent after he return to the backstage

After Ogotan talk is over, it’s Rei turn to perform At that time my soul was still flying & can’t even process what’s happening because my head hurts so much from too many screaming & crying LMAO

BUT TADAAHHHH there’s a surprise attack by the end of the event LMAO.

There’s actually some envelope attached at the bottom of each audience chair Inside each of the envelope there’s a name of guest artist written, there’re 10 envelope in total

7 of the lucky audience will get a board which autographed by the guest The other 3 was the luckiest mustard ever existed on earth who got a chance to take a photo with the guest artist LIKE (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻ Since I’m bad in gambling of course I don’t get any la what do you expect

I can hear envy screeching from back to the front, in this segment finally we’re allowed to took some photos, & there’s a crowd photo from the stage too but IDK Press-san tachi, I’m waiting for the better photo here  ( ˘•ω•˘ ).｡oஇ

I’m unable to took more than 4 photos because I was squished to the gate from back & it’s hard balancing phone with one hand so here comes the blurry quality photos I managed to snap between the chaos

While taking photos we managed to catch Yuki Kato attention Being the good fangirl we’re, we keep gesturing her “THIS THING IS FOR OGOTAN” while pointing at Ogotan continuously LOL She replied with hand gestures “How should I tell him about it???”

Ogotan seems realizing what’s happening & smiles to us cutely And the front row died again LMAO

I swear Yuki Kato is a fangirl in crime, thank you for helping us Yuki-chan!  ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ✧*

Finally, the event end for real  ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`) I was running around to find a way to give Ogotan’s gift art & apparently there’s a gift box [which actually is a gift desk] prepared for it by the staff

We part our ways & I’m recharging my flying soul with friends, eating Yoshin*ya while contemplating whether is it a real life or just a fantasy

After that I went to Shadent’s home for resting, we watch some Kamen Rider episodes before finally collapsing on bed in less than 5 minutes LMAO

It was really a fun day, I’m having a great experience & I’m gonna cherish this memory forever ever ever and ever!!  ｡✧*｡( ´∩•͈ω•͈∩` )✧*｡

Otsukaresamadesu JSeries Festival Jakarta!  See you next time!!  (｡•̀ᴗ-)و ̑̑✧

Please bring Ryuji in the next event, I beg you  ((유∀유|||))