#god but the joy in those posts at being met not just with welcoming arms but delighted ones

[nightmare-chaser]

Ive seen multiple posts from reddit refuges that go like "im queer and its so welcoming here!" Or "im nonbinary and dont get quized on my gender here!" Or "im autistic and i can be weird here and yall like it!" And its so fuckin cute its like yes hi hello welcome this is the gay ass autistic website we love special interests we love weird genders we love just saying random shit and the just happy surprised tone of those posts is so wholesome to me like yes! hi! you are in fact the target audience! welcome home

[renlyslittlerose]

Last week was the one year anniversary of me posting my first obikin fic, and over the last year being a part of the fandom has brought me so much joy and happiness and enthusiasm once again. Some of you knew me before 2019 and were aware that I was working on my Masters in the Classics, which included a massive thesis. While working on the thesis I was also working part-time at the museum, as well as battling a few chronic illnesses - some of which still affect me today - all of which drained me physically and emotionally. When I had finished my thesis and graduated from the program I was well and truly burnt out. 

 2020 was rough for everyone, and I was contented to just exist without doing much of anything that could be seen as creatively productive. But then 2020 came and passed and I thought maybe I should get back on the saddle, and started working on my own original story. I fell off of social media, didn’t interact in fandom, and tried to grind out a story that wasn’t working like I had hoped it would. 2021 and I still wasn’t ‘feeling it’; I had gone from writing about 1-2k words a day to 500 words a week - if I was lucky. A part of me wondered if I was tapped out for good, that I didn’t have it in me anymore, and that my thesis was my last creative outlet - my last hooray.  I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but when you go from creating almost every day since you were sixteen years old, to suddenly believe that the well has run dry is terrifying. Maybe I was done for good - maybe I wouldn’t create something I was proud of.

And then Kenobi came out. I was a massive prequels fan since I was nine years old and the Phantom Menace came out, and an even bigger Darth Vader fan, but I had never interacted with the fandom in any meaningful way. I was contented to just watch the films and the shows and leave it at that. But as I was watching I had the epiphany that Obi-Wan and Anakin were actually ~roommates all along. I started reading obikin fic, came back on tumblr to see what sort of fandom there was, and suddenly found myself with ideas again, and a desire to create something. 

So I wrote my first fic ‘Sacred to the Gods’ based off of a thesis I wrote during my undergrad about the psychology of a Greek demigod. It took me about a week to write, but in that time I had a lot of fun - the words started to come more easily, the vibes were there, and the passion was slowly but surely returning. One fic turned into another, and then another, and suddenly I had written two multi-chaptered long-form fics, some shorter multi-chaptered ones, and a bunch of oneshots, all about our favourite duo. 

And in the that span of time, not only was I able to rediscover my passion for writing and feel inspired again, but I met so many amazing, incredible, kind, passionate, creative people who welcomed me with open arms. I was used to fandom being sort of a gate-keepy thing, where if you were the new kid in town it would take you a while to work your way into any circles. But it didn’t happen with this fandom. I went up to a few people, held out my macaroni art, and was overjoyed to see them take it and immediately put it up on their fridge.

There are a lot of people I want to thank, and I should thank, from those who read my stuff, those who send me asks on tumblr, those who bookmark and kudos and comment, and those who followed me, but there isn’t any space to do all that. So I hope that a general ‘THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU’ will suffice. Thank you for giving me my passion back, thank you for supporting me, thank you for being an awesome community that has it’s issues, but still cares deeply about the art they’re creating, and who care about fostering a community. 

However, there are a few people I would specifically like to address, because I don’t think this post would be complete without you. I’ll put it behind a cut because this post is already cumbersome:

@bi-wan || My beloved! You were the first person to follow me on tumblr after reading one of my fanfictions, and the first to reach out to me to be my friend. Thank you for reaching your hand out to me and dragging me into the fold. Because of you I’ve made so many good friends who I treasure dearly - including you. 🥰

@ragnarlothcat || I feel like you and Cam are a packaged deal, and so I thank you for being curious about me and checking out my work, and for allowing me to occupy both you and Cam’s comfy little raccoon haven. You’re so supportive, and your work was some of the first I read in the fandom which truly secured my desire to be a part of it. Thank you 💖

@intermundia || I’ve told you this before, but you were the first person I approached in the fandom when I decided I wanted to dip my toes into the experience, and your warmth and welcoming nature secured my desires to be a part of this group. The fact that you support my stories and are so passionate about it really fuels my desires to keep creating (as well as feeding my ego). Thank you for being such a good presence in the fandom.👑

@theseptemberist || I have a feeling that Will told you about me, and I am so glad that he did because we’ve struck up such a friendship that I can’t see myself without. Our chats on discord over the past few months have been wonderful in so many ways that are too innumerous to say here. Thank you for sharing your heart, and for being so kind and empathetic. And thank you for sharing your encyclopedic knowledge of fandom tea ☕

@unspuncreature || Just like Rag and Cam come as a team, you and Cal (and Wren, even though I’ve never spoken to her but feel like I know her) are the trio that delight and entertain. Thank you for your brilliant art and creativity, thank you for letting me bounce all my ideas off of you, and thank you for collaborating with me. You’re brilliant 💗

@kyberkenobi || Beyond the fact that your filthy brain inspires me and delights me, and the fact that you’re willing to goed me on when I come up with something that’s delightfully nasty, your maturity when it comes to fandom is refreshing. At the threat of sounding like a proud grandma, you’re still so young and yet you’ve got a lot of shit figured out - most importantly, that fandom is supposed to be for fun and write what you want to write. Can’t wait for us to finally collaborate one of these days 💕

@dininginspace || What can I say? You’re a delight, you’re incredibly funny, you’re kind and understanding, and you’re the best cheerleader a loser like me could ask for. The fact that you jumped on the Buffy bandwagon when I drove by on it secures you as one of my favourite people. Thank you so much for your early and continued support 🧛‍♂️

@nuandia || Thank you for chatting with me all the time; keep up your writing, it’s brilliant and worth it, even if you doubt it sometimes. 💖

@grapenehifics || I had just finished watching MASH when you commented on Moonlight Serenade. The noise I made when I saw your username, followed by the continued joy I get whenever I see you on my dash or in my inbox, or when I see you’ve posted something new for the world to enjoy. 🧡

@palfriendpatine66 || You’re a delight. You’ve got things figured out, and how you can write so much with the life you’ve got is incredible. Keep going - you’re a gem. 💎

@binaryeclipse || Love chatting with you on discord, and being able to throw out random things about Canada into the chat that doesn’t need explaining - you just get it. Especially when it comes to Alberta politics. It doesn’t always feel like a safe space out there when you’re an Albertan who loves her province but also hates so many things about it, but you make me feel as if I can be a contradictory mess and still feel as if I belong in Canada. Your muse will come back soon, I trust in this ✨

@treescape || Your work is sublime and an inspiration. I read your fics first when I went hunting for things to read, and was immediately captivated. When you followed me back and weren’t at all weirded out by me bounding over to you like an excitable golden retriever, I was very grateful - I am very grateful. Can’t wait to see what you create next. 💛

@starsdies || Thank you for listening to me; thank you for being so inspiring; thank you for helping with community events and exchanges. And thank you for streaming The Last of Us for me because I’m too cheap to buy HBO Max. 🙏

@tessiete || You fact-checked the details I put into Moonlight and all I can say is THANK YOU. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting too lost in the details, but its people like you who google that shit that makes me feel good about my obsessions. 🌸

[hiddenwashington]

** insert the yearly disclaimer that everything is fine and this is just maig being an absolute sap **

hi :)) somehow, by some miracle, we have made it around to yet another anniversary, and i can say with utter disbelief and overwhelming gratitude that hidden is now SIX YEARS OLD. i feel like a damn grandmother telling y’all a story here but, when i started this place in a 2am spite fueled, sleep deprived rage, and then hit the tags that same morning at nearly 5am, never once did i look at a main and think i’d be making a six year anniversary post. that we’d even stay open for that long, that this would grow to be… bigger than me, bigger than the team or hidden  itself. hidden is a home to so many, a place where people can be themselves and find a community together, and that has everything to do with all of YOU.

the members who have been here for 6 days, or 6 years, those who have been here and poured their hearts out onto the dash, who have been here just to play a joke character.. the members who have come and gone, the members who are here now, all of you are the reason hidden is the way that it is. you all have created this incredible community with each other, that sometimes all i can do is just sit back and admire all of you. the way everyone has been so welcoming and warm to every new person who has joined, that you all have welcomed people in with open arms and genuinely like ?? no prompting from us ?? just from being yourselves. not only is this a home, a true real home in such a difficult world, but god the TALENT ??? i have never seen such amazing writing, or editing, the absolute joy you all have in writing your characters comes across so easily, the support you all have for each other. the events that we have, i don’t think could ever be pulled off with another group. i truly am sitting here just consistently in awe of all of you. i really could not do this without all of you here, you are the heart of hidden. the warmth in this place, the joy, the backbone, everything is you, friends. thank you for allowing me to be your head admin, allowing me to be utterly odd and strange and still loving me the way i love all of you, thank you for supporting this team, and this place. thank you for all the time and energy you put in here, and know that it does not go unnoticed. truly, just thank you.

and now, for 5 people’s absolute favorite time of the year, the moment when i gush like a proud mom about my admin team. please allow me to highlight these people, to lift them up for everything that they do, to show them the gratitude i truly hope they feel every other day of the year. sunny: gotta always start with you, my day one, the other half of my brain. i don’t know what i would do without you, genuinely. hidden would absolutely not be here today without you, without your support of me and my absolute batshit ramblings that i send in your dms, the way you have been able to look at a situation and calm it down with just one message.. for being the voice of reason that i need, for being the best friend i could ask for. finding each other wasn’t an accident and i’m so glad that i have gotten to know you through this weird fucking hobby and found so many more to share with you. also?? thank you for being there during my wedding, for keeping my head on straight that day. i love you so much. ♥ jodie, i just fucking love you fam,  the absolute heart of the team. you are one of the kindest, most fiercely loving person i have ever met. if someone is struggling, i know you are right there to offer any kind of help you can (even if it's biting someone). you are always the one who i know will be there to have someone’s back, to support everyone when they need it. and i hope you know that that goes both ways. you are so loved on this team, thank you for all the research you do, thank you for taking all the marvel questions, for being the other teacher of my star wars school, for always laughing with me when we’re about to do something utterly ridiculous to get us yelled at. i am just so thankful for you, and i know i would’ve gone nuts if i didn’t have you here making me laugh. kasey, my player 2 (or i’m player 2?? idk), my bluetooth connected bitch. i swear people think us being the same person different fonts sometimes is a bit, and really it’s not. our shared braincell just doesn’t know how to function alone. thank you for always being there when i need to vent, for being able to offer a kind way of telling me to chill tf out, for being my platonic life partner. i know you hate the sappiness but i just need you to know that i couldn’t do this without you either. also a quick thank you for also being there during my wedding, for allowing me to be unapologetically myself and keeping me calm and laughing during all the insanity that was going on that week. just thank you. really, i love you so much, bitch, i won’t make you suffer with being loved on more.

aria, the actual owner of the braincell, the powerhouse of fc suggestions and research. your knowledge and ability to find suggestions and solutions to complex situations always has me in awe. i know when i see you typing in the chat, we’re going to get an answer, a solution or something new to consider that helps us fix whatever is going on. you truly are the reason things get solved around here. and also thank you for being the other face on the main, the way that you and ollie clear the inbox so fast always has me dumbfounded. and thank you for every check you have done, every moment you have spent here with us. i hope you know when i see little guys in shows, i always go “oh aria would love them”. your icons in the chat / your names always have me dying. you’re truly so fucking funny fam, the comments you make in dnd take me out. i just hope you know how loved and appreciated you are. thank you for being my friend, i love you a lot. and ollie, i don’t know what the fuck we would do without you. seriously, like only a year and a half in and you are ???? the reason the main gets cleared out most days. i don’t know how you do it, one moment it’s full and the next the entire mains cleared, the pages are updated, you and aria are working through their list of fixes and the entire check is done (INCLUDING MY PARTS :(( ). despite all of our teasing about changing the password on you, i hope you know that none of the work that you do EVER goes unappreciated. i also am just so glad that i have gotten to know you better over the past year and a half, that since you joined the team i am so glad that i get to call you my friend. also, i always know when i send a new frog, you’ll come in yelling about loving them and it always makes me smile. you’re so loved by me and the team. thank you for everything. okay, i’m done now.

i’m making myself stfu friends i promise. just, hidden you have no idea how utterly blessed we are to have these five as our admin team. i know i barely even know sometimes, because fuck i couldn’t do this without them. i just am so filled with love and appreciation for every single one of you, those who are here now, and those who may be lurking and have come and gone. know i love you all. and just THANK YOU. it is the greatest joy and blessing in my life to call myself your head admin. thank you for making hidden your home. here’s to SIX FUCKING YEARS and all the ones after it!

all the love always -- admin maig ♥♥

[sienne-k]

as it should be

MDZS drabble and fanart for the Exploring Tropes: Time Travel Event at @pocketfulofrecs​

lqr, wwx, jfm, pre-wangxian, crack, time travel au

~~~~~~~~

Some way or another, post-canon Lan Qiren time travels to before the Cloud Recesses lectures. The Cloud Recesses are quiet and peaceful, something his home hasn't been in years.

...In fact, it is too quiet and peaceful.

He decides to do his lonely younger nephew a favor (and himself, but that part he won't admit to) and gift him his future husband early. It does not matter that they have not met yet - he knows how their story goes, and if he can save Wangji over a decade of suffering, then by gods he will do it. If Lan Qiren himself gets a very inventive, engaging and intelligent research partner cum nephew-in-law earlier, all the better.

If he gets a grandchild early, or - heavens, what joy it would be! - a few grandchildren, then he will not complain, certainly. So he informs those who need to know that he will be unavailable for a day or two - he does not foresee any complications that would warrant a longer absence - and leaves for Lotus Pier.

He arrives within a few hours to a warm if surprised welcome by the Jiang Sect Leader. The Madam is thankfully absent, having left two days earlier on some nighthunt or other. No matter; the less he sees of her, the better, and it is certainly not a matter that concerns her. During the light conversation with the sect leader he suggests that since he is already there, he would like to see the Jiang disciples train; supposedly to measure their level to be able to better adjust his teaching, as the lectures are scheduled to happen in the next few months.

He's never done any such thing before - indeed, it is simply a pretense. Jiang Fengmian is confounded but as always willing to accommodate and leads Lan Qiren to the training grounds. There, he is met with a cacophony only a gaggle of teenagers can produce. He searches and finds whom he needs shortly - right in the middle, the loudest of them all - Wei Wuxian.

Suddenly, Lan Qiren feels stumped. He has found Wei Wuxian, but certainly there are too many witnesses. While he may be fast enough for any of the young disciples, Jiang Fengmian is right beside him. He needs him gone, but how?

Fate must agree with him that Wei Wuxian will be better off living - thriving - in the Lan Clan, as at that very moment one of the littlest disciples trips over a leg of a fellow disciple, who has been laying on the pier, and falls into the lake. Thankfully he surfaces easily, but as he is helped back on land it is clear that he must have sprained his ankle. The poor disciple starts crying, stretching his arms towards the safest figure there - Jiang Fengmian.

The Sect Leader apologizes profusely - Lan Qiren claims it is no trouble just as profusely - and leaves with the child in his arms in the direction of what must be the healing pavilion.

The Jiang Sect Leader is gone. The young disciples are in disarray, concerned over their younger shidi. Wei Wuxian looks worriedly in the direction Jiang Fengmian and the unlucky disciple left to. This is Lan Qiren's chance.

He draws close to Wei Wuxian in quick strides and draws his sword before the Head Disciple can do more than open his eyes wide in surprise. Two seconds after, Lan Qiren is in the air, moving fast towards Cloud Recesses with a wriggling and shouting Wei Wuxian under one arm. It seems the disciple has concerns over the situation - as he should, being kidnapped is not something to dismiss easily.

It is of no consequence - they are high up in the sky and moving quickly. If Wei Wuxian does not want to fall down, he will have to stop squirming, and then Lan Qiren will be able to speak his (or rather his as of yet unknowing nephew's) suit. The trip back home will take a few hour; Lan Qiren is sure that will be enough time to bring Wei Wuxian over, or at least to intrigue him enough to stay a few hours in Cloud Recesses.

That will be long enough time for him to meet Wangji. And since Wangji himself will certainly fall in love with Wuxian at first sight, Lan Qiren is content to leave his nephew to woo his future husband until Jiang Fengmian arrives. By that time Wei Wuxian will surely be too smitten with Wangji to just leave. It will give Lan Qiren a reason to set a betrothal between them. They only need to wait a few months before Wuxian turns fifteen, and then they will get married as soon as can be arranged.

As the boy in his arm stops wriggling quite so much, looking resigned to his fate if somewhat pouty, Lan Qiren contemplates his near future.

Within a year, Wei Wuxian will be married into the Lan Clan, living happily with Wangji in the Jingshi, and Cloud Recesses will once again be filled with melodious laughter and warm, loving looks.

As it should be.

[thewritingstar]

Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail 

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long) 

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted. 

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star. 

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person. 

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me. 

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all. 

-Star <3 

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol 

---

  “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a               heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.  

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

--

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.  

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different. 

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself. 

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

[whyyoudothistomecavill]

Don't - Chapter 1

Hello everyone! This is my first time writing fanfiction. Chapter one is an introduction to the kind of relationship the characters have and, in future chapters I will fill in the gaps left in this part.

But first, let's see how this one goes.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

I took the name from a song written by Jewel. Go and listen to it. Trust me, after the first verse, THAT person will pop in your head. Never fails.

Before we jump in, there's a few people I need to thank:

@littlefreya for helping me with the editing since I don't have a beta yet, for encouraging me knowing what a big deal this is for me, and for all the things you already know. I'll always be in your debt.

@mary-ann84 for making me feel welcome since day one and putting up with me and my annoying questions at any time of day. Girl, you deserve an award for patience.

@radaofrivia for taking the time to read my ramblings and giving me the reassurance I needed. For showing up out of nowhere when I was almost defeated by my lack of tumblr comprehension and explained everything to me with the patience of a kindergarten teacher. Greek god Henry sent you my way, I have no doubt.

There aren't words enough to express how big of an inspiration all of you are to me. To be able to call you my friends, fills my heart with extreme joy and gratitude. So again THANK YOU.

I took the liberty to tag some people, to some I asked for their permission, to others I didn't, so if this bothers you in any way, just message me and I'll fix it, there's absolutely no obligation and I won't be offended.

With that being said, let's get to the point.

Title: Don't

Pairing: Henry x female reader.

Word count: 1682

Warnings: Angst, fluff, and if you squint your eyes you might find a bit of smut.

Summary: Henry and reader are a couple living together for 1 year. Reader have struggled with self esteem issues and insecurities her whole life and when she met Henry, she thought she had left all that in the past, but certain events made her realize that her soul is far from being healed.

Disclaimer: This is an original work of fiction written by me. Please don't post it anywhere else without my permission. Reblogs here are welcomed of course. Thank you.

"Are you ok, darling?"

"Yes, honey"

"Are you sure? You don't seem ok"

"I'm ok, Hen," you smiled, "I'm just tired. I wanna get home, have a shower and then go to bed"

He didn't seem convinced but he didn't ask again. The rest of the ride home was silent, you looked out the window and prayed for the strength to act like everything was normal, while he concentrated on the road and hummed along to the radio.

But you knew better. You knew that this man, the most gorgeous man on earth, the man you called your boyfriend, the man every woman (and a lot of men too), thirsted for, was also the smartest, the most affectionate and that he paid attention to every single thing, especially you. He could notice the smallest change in your demeanor, he could tell when something was wrong and this time was no difference. He was just giving you time to process whatever it was upsetting you before you could talk to him, but in no way was he buying the "just tired" bs. And you knew it.

You entered the house and discarded your shoes and purse. Henry was taking Kal out of the car and into the house when you said "I'm gonna take a shower," and quickly rushed upstairs without waiting for an answer, you needed to be alone so desperately.

You got into the bathroom and took your clothes off without even glancing in the mirror, you didn't want to see anybody, much less yourself.

The hot water was bliss to your sore muscles, too bad it didn't make a difference to the pain in your heart. You rested your forehead into the tiled wall and felt the water gently massaging your back and legs. You were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear the bathroom door being open. Henry was already behind you, his strong hands caressing your back as light as a feather and his mouth on your ear, "may I join you?"

You turned around and looked at him, at those eyes bluer than the sky itself, at those curls that did things to you just by looking at them, and that smile, the most perfect and genuine smile you had ever seen, it was literally impossible not to smile back at him, it was contagious.

He didn't wait for an answer, he lowered himself to put his arms around your waist as you put yours around his neck and kissed you deeply and tenderly. You knew he did that so you wouldn't have to be on your tiptoes to kiss him, he was so damn considerate and perfect it infuriated you sometimes.

So you closed your eyes and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, he sensed the heat in your kiss and grabbing your behind, lifted you up still kissing you, putting your back against the wall. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him and he broke the kiss to look at you, his hair was tousled all over from the water and your hands. His lips were swollen from the kissing and his eyes were dark with lust but also full of love. Oh,so much love.

"What do you want?" He said, "Tell me. What do you need? I'm here, I'm yours".

Something inside of you broke, it was too much. "I want you, Henry. I need you. Now. Inside of me. Please".

He didn't wait for you to ask again, maneuvering you as if you weighed nothing, he made you descend on his length without breaking eye contact, until you were completely full of him. He started to move, slowly and leisurely making you moan and clung to him for dear life.

He didn't know about the battle that was going on inside you. You wanted him to crawl within you and fill the emptiness eating your soul, you wanted to hold him and never let go, you wanted to stop time. Or maybe go back in time, or just disappear. But for the time being you were just grateful for the water running over both of you, not letting Henry notice that your tears were running as well.

Even if you were shattered inside, your body would always succumb to him, there was no point in resisting, and as he kept moving in and out of you, whispering sweet nonsenses in your ear, the orgasm hit you like a thunder lightning crying out his name, his release following moments later triggered by your loud moans.

He held you still between him and the wall while you both recovered your breath, filling your neck with open mouthed kisses.

He lowered you and you held him tightly, putting your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. It always soothed you. You both stayed that way under the shower in silence, until you started to feel the boiling inside you rising again. "I'm gonna get the towels" you said, "I got it" said he and with a swift move of his long arms, he reached for the towels and started drying you, hair first, then your body, slowly, caressing every inch of it and leaving light kisses everywhere his hands would pass.

He was kneeling in front of you, drying your legs and slowly going up, your eyes were fixated on him and his movements, not saying a word. He looked up, saw you staring, and reaching up, caressed your face so softly it made you lean your head in his hand, closing your eyes. It was like time stopped and you were there alone just savoring that moment, keeping it in your memory forever and you couldn't help the single tear rolling down your cheek into his hand...

When you opened your eyes, you saw the look of concern on his face, "What is it baby? What's wrong?"

You needed to make a choice, so you chose the truth. At least the one truth that wouldn't hurt him: "I love you so much".

"And that makes you cry?"

You chuckled a little, "No, I sometimes get overwhelmed by all these feelings, I'm sorry for being so sensitive" you said, wiping your eyes and smiling through tears.

He stood up and crashed your lips with his, taking you by surprise and lifting you up, carrying you like a bride to your bed.

He got in too, cuddling you from behind and you intended to get up to find one of his t-shirts, your go-to pajamas since day one with him, but he stopped you with his arm around your waist and pulled you against him, your back on his chest, your naked bodies molding perfectly together under the sheets.

You clutched his hand in yours, closed your eyes and tried to ease your racing heart.

His voice took you back to reality:

"Look at me, love"

You turned around in his arms just enough to look him in the eyes, and it surprised you to see, his were a little watery too.

"I love you" he whispered. "I love you like I never thought it was possible to love someone. You have brought to my life the hope that my tired heart believed was lost. I want to spend every minute of every day with you and when my work keeps us apart, I can't wait to share with you every detail of my day. You know sometimes..." he paused, smiling and looking away, "sometimes I have to tell myself *get it together Cavill! You're a grown man acting like a teenager*, but that's what you do to me" he said looking at you again and caressing your lips with his thumb, "You're my fuel, my reason, you're my last thought when I go to sleep and my first one when I wake up, and I'm so grateful to have you that sometimes I'm scared to think that I don't express it enough for you to actually get a glimpse of how happy you make me. That's why I might seem a little clingy around you... I love you and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, that I'm always here for you, it doesn't matter if I'm working or doing anything else, you are my priority, ok?"

You were a crying mess by now and watching his red eyes trying so hard not to cry, wasn't helping.

"Ok?" he said again, clearly demanding an answer from you.

But your words wouldn't come out. How? How could you tell him? How on earth was he supposed to imagine that he had chosen the worst possible moment to tell you this?

So again you settled for the truth, the only indisputable truth you could give him, and nodding you took his face in your hands and kissed him, pulling him on top of you.

He engulfed you in his arms and broke the kiss to breathe, you covered his face with light kisses tasting the salt of his tears which only added more sorrow to your battered soul.

"Make love to me," you said against his lips. He looked at you through hooded eyes and went for the spot on your neck he knew drove you crazy.

This was the truth. The fact that when you were together you couldn't tell where each of you ended and the other began. The absolute certainty of loving him with every fiber of your being, knowing you could never love anyone else this much, not even in a thousand lives. You never hid it. It was impossible to...

A few hours later, you were watching him peacefully asleep, his features even more beautiful in the dim morning light. You carefully kissed him and placed your head on his chest, he held you tighter against him and said something that sounded like "I love you". "I love you too" you said, granting him again the truth you couldn't deny.

The unspoken truth however, the one he was about to learn, was that in fact, the one you didn't love... was yourself.

Tag list:

@mary-ann84 @littlefreya @radaofrivia @demivampirew @dancingwendigo @seb-owns-these-tatas​ @viking-raider​ @cruelfvkingsummer​ @cherry-acid​ @achaoticaugust​ @promptandpros​ @ladyreapermc​ @honeychicanawrites​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @chamomilebottom​ @deathonyourtongue​

[wendimydarling]

Revenge

Title: Revenge

Summary: Walter gets revenge on his wife.

Pairing: Walter Marshall x First Person Reader 

Word Count: 1918 

Warnings: Nuthin’ but floof here! Oh, and some female nudity.

A/N: This story was inspired by drunk Tumblr! and the conversation between me, @hell1129-blog​, @yoursecretsmutblog​, and @ly--canthrope​ in the comments of this post here. Enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walter closed the door to the apartment, kicking off his shoes and tugging his sweater over his head. The day had been long and arduous, as most of his days were. He was looking forward to spending the evening with his girl. Who seemingly is nowhere to be found, he thought as he glanced around.

“Babe?”

“I’m in here!” he heard her reply. It sounded like it came from the bedroom. Walter traipsed down the hall and was met with the most beautiful sight he’d ever witnessed.

There she was, his siren wife, lying naked on their bed, her body on display for him. Her soft curves never ceased to arouse him; her beauty stealing his breath away, the matted shine of her olive skin hypnotizing him. But it wasn’t just her alluring glow that made him tremble. It was the fact that she had cuffed herself to the headboard and she was grinning at him profusely, already rubbing her legs against each other in anticipation.

“I found an extra set of your handcuffs when I threw a load in the wash,” she explained, biting her lip. “I hope you don’t mind.”

It was Walter’s turn to smile. How on earth had he gotten so lucky? He stripped off his remaining shirt and straddled his tiny wife.

~~~~~~~~

I’ve had such a bad day. I can’t wait to get home to you.

The text message had seared my heart. I swore to myself I’d make his day better somehow, so when I found his handcuffs while going through the laundry, an idea immediately came to mind. I hurried quickly through the chore and headed to the bedroom to get ready. Walter would be home soon.

Once I was satisfied with my hair and touched up my makeup, I made my way to the bed, hurriedly slipping out of my work clothes. I laid down and hooked one wrist with the cuffs, relishing the way the cold metal felt against my flushed skin. We’d used them before, and I would never tire of the solid, relaxing sensation that flooded my body the moment I was restrained. My lady bits were already dripping, and Walter wasn’t even home yet.

Or maybe he was. I heard his boots thud outside the front door so I hastily put my arms above my head and connected the other wrist in the cuffs, trapping myself. I didn’t have a key; the only way out now was Walter. I slunk down a little so that I was nice and stretched, feeling grounded and excited for what was in store.

“Babe?”

“I’m in here!” I called out to him, unable to keep myself from grinning as I pictured his reaction. I wasn’t disappointed; the look on his face as his jaw dropped three inches was worth everything. My pussy throbbed at how dark his eyes grew, and I pressed my legs together, fending her off.

“I found an extra set of your handcuffs when I threw a load in the wash,” I teased, biting my lip as I watched my husband swallow thickly. ‘I hope you don’t mind.”

Walter smiled slowly and I shivered as he took off his shirt, allowing me to see every muscle in that thick chest of his as he came over to the bed and climbed on top of my small frame. He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under my back before pressing his weight on my thighs and I was at once unable to move, my entire upper body deliciously arched and at his mercy. 

He leaned onto his elbows, his face hovering over me as his fingers brushed over my breasts. I squirmed a little, the light touch tickling softly. His smirk had taken on an evil hue and I gulped, suddenly uncertain about my life choices this evening.

“Do you remember,” He started, tracing circles around my nipples, “The surprise party you threw me for my birthday?”

Oh shit.

I tugged on the handcuffs at once, but I couldn’t move an inch. I looked into my husband’s eyes, pleading with him.

“Walter no, no no no this is not what I had in mind, don’t do this!”

“Do you remember the slideshow?” he asked, his fingers traveling up to my armpits, hovering over the exposed skin. 

“Walter pleeeease!”

“Do you remember how I said you’d pay for it?”

All I could do was whimper, squirming ineffectively underneath his large frame. 

“Welcome to my revenge, Sweetheart… thank you so much for offering it to me.”

“No Walter--fuck!!!” I squealed as his fingers started to dance over my sensitive hollows. He knows that it’s my worst place and Detective Marshall is a methodical man; he took care to tickle every exposed nerve beneath my arms. I laughed loudly, my inability to protect myself only further heightening the sensation as he tortured me freely.

I watched him through my laughter; his face was covered in joy, and I realized he was truly enjoying this. Whatever bad things had happened today, my suffering was erasing them from his mind. I figured I could take being tickled for a while, if only to see that happiness never leave my husband. 

Then again, maybe not. He switched from spidering to poking and I screamed, arching my back even further into the tickles. That seemed like the opposite of how I should have been responding, but my body was reacting of its own accord at this point.

“WALTER PLEASE!!! No mooohohore!!!”

He just shook his head, chuckling at my feeble attempt to beg. 

“You really think, after you embarrassed me with all those childhood photos, that I’m going to let you go after only five minutes? No my love, get comfortable. I’m going to tickle you all night.”

“NOOOOOO!” I wailed, the fingers switching tactics again. This time he was digging, and I was barely able to catch a breath before another long batch of laughter ripped through me. Walter sat up, and I knew what was coming next. I squirmed helplessly as the rest of my naked torso was exposed to his nimble fingers.

“Don’t you dare,” I warned futilely. 

“You’re not really in a position to be making demands,” he quipped, running those stupidly talented fingers up and down my sides. I kicked my legs futilely, or at least I tried to. I was unable to protect a single inch of my sensitive skin as ticklish sensations swarmed my body. Walter was laughing with me, egged on by my cries for him to stop. 

He finally settled on my ribs and my laughter hit a new peak as he began to vibrate his fingertips against each one. Digging in with fervor, my husband set out to discover every new place within my bones that would cause the loudest response. 

Just when I thought I couldn’t take another second Walter paused, spreading his large hands across my entire abdomen. I gasped for air, staring at his stupid grin as I pleaded with him for mercy.

“No more Walter, please… I can’t take it, I’m gonna die!”

“It’s just a little tickling,” he chided, grazing his fingertips over my belly to keep me tense. “So long as I let you breathe you won’t die. You’ll just wish you had.”

“Walteeeeeheher…” My moan turned into a chuckle as his fingers started to pick up the pace, spidering softly all over the sensitive flesh of my torso. I clacked the cuffs hard against the headboard, the only movement I was capable of to express my frustration. Walter just laughed and attacked my sides once more, causing me to scream anew. 

“Shhhh,” he warned me, “You’re going to make the neighbors think I’m murdering you.” 

“YOU ARE!!!!” I shot back, twisting the little I could to evade his attack. I lost that battle in less than a second, and my screams grew louder as he dipped a finger into my belly button. He clapped a hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I saw an idea spring to life on his face as I laughed into his hand, and I watched in horror as he slowly lowered his head. 

I tried to bite him, tried to shake him off, but nothing I did could stop his descent toward my torso. Walter’s lips hovered an inch from my navel and he looked up at me as I glared at him, those icy blue eyes boring wickedly into my soul as he dramatically took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the hell that was about to ensue. 

Walter blew a raspberry straight into my core and suddenly the world ceased to exist. The only thing that existed was tickles. He blew raspberry after raspberry all over my sensitive belly, scrubbing his beard against my skin each time he took a breath. His hands returned to scrabbling rapidly over my armpits and I absolutely howled, tears rolling down my face as I could to do nothing but lay there and take it. 

“I’M SORRY!!!! I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY!!!” I screamed, face flushed red and desperate. Walter stopped tickling again and returned to his position of lying on top of me, his fingertips walking slowly up and down my armpits. It kept me giggling, but it was bearable.

“Sorry for what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For embarrassing you at the pa-HAR-ty,” I exclaimed.

“Good. Now admit you like this.”

“What the fuck, no I don’t!”

Walter just smiled knowingly.

“I could smell it halfway through, love… you’re soaked. Admit it, you got turned on by a little tickling.”

I shook my head. He wasn’t wrong, but I’d be damned if I gave him an excuse to do this again. Walter sighed.

“Alright, well I guess I’ll just have to keep tickling until you see reason.”

He started wiggling his fingers again and I gave in at once.

“NO NO NO OKAY! I’ll admit it I--” I swallowed thickly, sighing in defeat. “--I liked being tickled.”

“Well if you like it, I guess that’s no reason for me to stop,” Walter mused, reinstating his assault under my arms. I squealed.

“Oh god, Walter PLEASE STOP!” I begged, my lungs burning with the effort to breathe. He ran his hands up my arms, squeezing them gently as he kissed me. I moaned into his mouth, all at once ravenous to be taken. His lips found their way to my neck and I gasped, desire searing its way into my loins. I pulled at the cuffs, wanting to touch my husband and frustrated beyond words that I couldn’t. It seemed so unfair, seeing as though his hands were roaming my body freely. 

“Walter,” I groaned, writhing underneath his touch. “Please uncuff me.”

“No,” he mumbled against my collarbone, slipping his fingers into the slick between my legs.

“I intend to fuck you, just like this. And when I’m done,” Walter looked into my eyes with the most serious expression I’d ever seen, except for a tiny glint of humor in his eyes. The slightest smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, one that made me shiver, and not in a good way. I knew that look. He leaned over and whispered in my ear the worst words I had ever heard in my life.

“When I’m done, I’m going to tickle you. All. Over. Again.”

I vowed then and there to hide any and all handcuffs that ever made their way into our apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[mrsbarnes107]

Secret of the Widow

-part six-

Summary: Post Endgame time period. The team is healing, trying to navigate this new normal they’ve found themselves in when Bucky and Sam bring home a stray with an attitude and a secret. Will the broken team take her in? Or is it too much to bare?

Warnings: language, *eventual* violence and smut, death, fluff, angst

Pairings: Bucky x OC

Disclaimer: this is posted to Wattpad as well and it WILL HAVE PLOT. I’m a Bucky hoe so there will be smut and romancy stuff but this is a series, so plot plot plot.

Forty-five minutes later I walk out of my still steaming bathroom. I wish I could thank Tony for the never ending hot water and place to live, it's a nice change in routine.

I wish I could thank him for a lot of things.

I give myself a little shake. No sappy moments, not right now.

With a lighter step, I throw on some baggy sweatpants and a tank top, leaving my hair to air dry. I'm pretty sure a good first impression was thrown out the window already anyways.

With a final nod in the mirror, I leave the sanctuary of my room and give myself to the wolves.

As I enter the kitchen, the smell of cheeseburgers and salty fries hits me. I'm almost certain I let out a tiny moan, but I'm going to deny it if asked.

"Hey Ali, grab some food and come sit by me sweetie." Wanda yelled from the table, not even glancing at me, unlike the rest of the group.

Banner still seems reserved, like he doesn't know how he's suppose to respond to the news of my existence. Clint on the other hand looks like he has something to talk about, sad curiosity all over his features.

Having not eaten in the last two days, I'm positive I could inhale more of these beautiful beef buns than even Barnes can, who is currently sitting with three burger on his plate and a mountain of fries. Okay well maybe not him, but Wilson for sure. The mans pretty scrawny.

After getting my food, I plop down in the seat between Wanda and Bucky, immediately tearing into my food. Etiquette be damned.

"So where's Petey? He and I have some unfinished business." I'm pretty sure I just heard Barnes try to cover a small chuckle with a cough. I should probably not talk with my mouth full, at least not during my first ever meal with the team.... whoops.

"He's attending MIT, following Tony's footsteps apparently, so he went off somewhere to study his big book of boring." Wilson didn't even bat an eye while answering.

The room settled in silence for a few minutes. It was not a comfortable one at all.

With a loud sigh I set my wonderful, heavenly, beautiful burger down. "Okay. Spit it out. This silence is strangling me and I'm trying to enjoy this God sent meal in peace."

Sam chuckled quietly, wiping his mouth free from the mustard smeared everywhere. "Okay tiny Tony calm down."

That's the second time today I've been compared to Tony. Each time my heart breaks a little. It's nice though, having a part of him so apparent in me that they see it despite meeting me less than five hours ago.

"So you and Stark were close, obviously, Nat is your mom, still weird, and you know Barnes pretty well by the looks of it."

I pop a few fries in my mouth before answering. Mmm fried potatoes doused in salt is a glorious creation. "All of that is very true baby bird."

Barnes hides a smile as Sam glares very unthreateningly across the table at me. My fry hits him right in the nose.

This time Clint joins Bucky in choking down a laugh.

"So how well do you know Barnes here hm? You were eighteen when you met? I wonder-"

Bucky tensed up, jaw ticking away. Wanda just pursed her lips and kept quiet.

I set my hand on his metal arm. "Stand down Sarge, birdys just trying to wind you up." Bucky relaxes, nerves still on edge and eyes throwing daggers at the bird man.

I look to Sam with a raised brow. "I'm a lady Samuel, we don't kiss and tell. Did you have anything productive to ask before you got all pissy?"

He sighed in annoyance, eyes showing slight amusement. "I still want to know how you got those cuffs on us, they have no key or biometric identification. Did you see me enter the code?"

I let out a soft laugh and turned to Wanda. "You should've seen their faces, it was a beautiful sight." With a glance back at Sam I shove another bite of my burger into my mouth, talking around the food. "I worked with Stark for years dude. I have access to, and can override, anything in this building. He gave me full clearance before I could drive."

"But he never let you up here? Even when we were out on a mission?" This time it was Banner who spoke up.

With a small smile I shrugged. "We didn't want to chance me running into any of you, especially after Petey joined. He worked in the lab with me a bit and it made Tony a little wary. Plus Nat worried about Sarge here seeing me."

Buckys head snapped to me, not expecting to be brought into the conversation. "She knew I had no memories though, why would meeting me worry her enough to ban you from the upper levels?"

Our eyes locked for a few seconds before I turned away, glancing at him as I breeze past the question. "Conversation for another time Buck.... so who made dinner? Well complements to the chef Clint, this is some juicy meat."

•••

Dinner continued with light laughter, and small talk. The group introducing themselves and trying to welcome me into the tight knit squad. The atmosphere was kind, but I could see the change caused by the loss of their friends. A year later and the wounds are still barely even scar tissue.

I remember the times I'd be working in the lab and get bored, eventually deciding that the Avengers would be my own little reality show to pass the time. They use to be so care free, at least as much as they could be, laughter filling the halls and pranks pulled on one another. Now it's random bursts of joy until the silence relapses for a bit.

Maybe I can do some good here. At least bring a little more light into the tower, make the darkness fade a little.

Wanda and I decided to have a movie night in the living room while the guys did whatever guys do. She chose some romcom, which we inevitably verbally assaulted as the cheesy plot continued.

"So, Ali, besides Fury is there anyone else in your life?"

"Nah, there's been a few dates, but having to lie about who you are makes things difficult. Although, so does my choice in work and the fact that I'm very rarely interested in anyone enough to put in the effort." I gave her a shrug and just rolled my eyes, keeping the conversation light.

"I'm curious on the team dynamic. Tony and Steve were like the divorced parents that told everyone what to do, is it just a 'go with the flow' situation now?"

Thankfully this made her chuckle. "Apparently this family of ours can't function without parents that hate each other. Bucky and Sam are the exact same way, they've taken the mantle up themselves. But honestly we're still learning our strengths and how we fit without the old pieces."

I gave her a nod, forehead creased while I tried to picture the teams strengths and weaknesses cohesively fitting together.

It wasn't until midnight when we decided to get some sleep, setting plans to go shopping after lunch the next day.

The bed was more comfortable than anything I've ever had the absolute pleasure of laying upon, but I still couldn't pass the hell out.

I just grunted in very extreme annoyance, despite this being a normal occurrence, and rolled out of bed.

After a quick stop to the kitchen to make some tea, I made my way to Tony's lab.

It looked just as it did the last time I was here, seven years ago Thanos time I suppose.

Walking around the large space, knowing that Tony won't be strutting in yelling about his genius breakthrough after his twelfth coffee of the morning, or having him standing over my shoulder as he teaches me the new mechanics of his suit, well it's surreal.

The room doesn't even feel like him anymore. This lab was once a place that brought me a sense of comfort and home, a place where his laugh encompassed the very life of the room, where his sarcasm bounced of the walls in never ending jabs. Now it is just cold and empty. The joy it once held long gone.

I sit in the floor, leaned against his work table. Now realizing that tears are running down my cheeks, a quiet remembrance to a man I cared for like a father.

I don't bother to wipe the tears away, it'd feel like denying him this moment, I just sigh and rest my head against his chair. "Oh Tony, you self sacrificing idiot.. I miss you. So much. I can't believe you left me alone with Nicky, that was just cruel you know. You both did."

With a shiver I set the empty mug beside me, bringing my legs up to curl my arms around.

"Why did you always have to be so hell bent on sacrificing yourself? Everytime this world called, it was always YOU risking it all, YOU flying into a space portal, YOU getting so much hate and blame from the team, even SHIELD, all the time. I just-" a chocked sob surprises me as I realize this is the first time I've talked to him, really talked, in six years.

"You had everything T, a wife, a baby, me and Petey. And they asked you to give it all up, yet this world barely gives you the recognition you deserve. Steve walks out and just leaves, after so much death, so much that needs cleaned up, he makes the most selfish decision i have ever seen, and yet is grieved more than you are. He walked out on his best friend, left the team already broken, and had the audacity to think he was owed that selfishness. A man who gave up everything and asked for nothing in return, overshadowed by the man who had nothing and was handed everything." I let out an angry little chuckle.

"This world is so backwards and cruel. Now I'm left in it alone. What am I suppose to do T? This place, these people, there's no light here anymore. And I just- it's just- it's so hard Tony. My parents are gone and I'm alone and I miss you so much. Being here breaks my heart. Every second I'm within these walls, knowing I'll never hear your laugh, your encouragement or sassy remarks, never walk in to AC/DC blasting while your passed out at your table. Every second I'm here hurts T. I just- I miss you so much dad and I'll never get to tell you how much I love you."

If I hadn't had my eyes closed, or been in the middle of an impressive mental breakdown, I might have heard the footsteps approaching long ago. But my tears brought sleep to me quickly and everything went black.

[softboywriting]

Speak

Summary: Finding your soulmate isn’t always as fairytale like as one might hope for. [werewolf story]

Word count: 1.7k

|Masterlist in Bio|

In a world where you meet your soulmate when the phrase that comes to you in dreams is spoken to you, one might think finding your soulmate would be easy. For some it's as simple as a meeting In a cafe, or bumping into someone at the market. So being tackled to the ground and screaming as sticks, rocks and dirt grind into your back isn't how you planned on meeting your soulmate. Actually at the time you had no idea that's what had happened, but how could you, you hadn't heard them speak.

It all started when you went for a walk in the woods behind your house. The area isn't the best and it's known for feral and rouge werewolf activity. Yet you still chose to go out in the late evening for some fresh air after a shit day at work. Of course you have no luck, or perhaps the best luck in the end, but at the time it was the worst. You heard the growling before you saw it, a massive wolf in trees ahead of you. The plan was to turn around quietly and make a run for your yard. Plans never work out do they?

Before you knew it the wolf was blindsiding you, knocking you to the ground. You slid, shirt bunching up and exposing your skin to the coarse dirt and rocks on the path way. It snapped at you, teeth bared as if you were a threat. Instinctively you grasped for a handful of sticks and grass and threw it in defense. It’s side was covered in blood. You remember what you yelled, because it's all you could manage to get out. "Fuck off!" You shouted it as loud as you could. It wasn't as if you had never dealt with wolves before, you grew up with two brothers who could shift and we're just about as large as this one. The fear still struck you hard though, just as the wolf did with a bite to your forearm as you blocked it from going to your face.

You don't know what made it retreat but just as soon as it closed it's jaws around your arm, it was backing away and running down the path. You were left alone, injured, bleeding and scared in the darkening trees.

You made it home and cleaned up, but there was no hiding it from your Dad who would be visiting the next day. As soon as he saw your bandaged arm he decided he had enough of the feral werewolves. You begged him not to do something, not to go out there lest he get hurt himself, but he was stubborn. A human man who doesn't understand.

So here you are in the woods once more, this time you're looking for the wolf that attacked you. You're not angry or upset, you want answers. Even feral werewolves don't attack with no reason. Usually they're scared, hurt or starving. It's crazy. You should just stay home and rest but you cannot let your Dad go after this wolf. You just can't.

Ten minutes turns into half an hour and just when you're about to give up you see the wolf laying in the brush around some fallen trees. It's hurt, bloody fur on its side is a dead giveaway and you put your hands out to it. "I promise I won't hurt you."

It growls. Judging by its size, it's a male.

"My dad is out here and he wants to kill you for this." You raise your arm. "But I know you didn't mean it. I know something else was going on and it was a mistake. I want to help."

The wolf raises itself up and snarls.

"Please? I can help." You step back and it steps forward. "Just follow."

You walk toward the house, avoiding the path wherever possible. Behind you the wolf follows, twigs snapping under his weight. Twice you hear your dad's voice and you have to stop and plead with the wolf to stay quiet.

With much effort you get the wolf into your house and to your bedroom. The plan is to assess it's wounds but that doesn't happen. The moment you close your door and turn around there is no longer a wolf in your room, but a tall very naked man.

"Oh, I didn't think-"

He collapses on the floor with a loud thud. Your heart sinks and you have a moment of panic. What do you do? How do you move him? Is he dead? You kneel down, grabbing a blanket off the bed and covering him. He's breathing. His side is bright pink with scar tissue from what looks like a bite.

"What happened?" You mumble and sit back. Now what do you do? You went through all this trouble to get this wolf here and save him from your dad and now what? Do you let him sleep until he wakes up and then does he leave? You hold your head and sigh heavily. This isn't your brightest idea but somehow you can't help but be concerned for him.

Sometime after midnight you wake up to coughing. It's the man, he's sitting up, arm across his stomach as he coughs violently. He makes a noise of protest and pain after each one. It must hurt so badly.

"Can you stand?" You ask, walking around in front of him.

He looks up at you and your heart skips. His eyes are so beautiful, deep brown and full of need.

"Can you speak?" You take his hand he offers for you to help him up.

He shakes his head.

"Oh." You sigh. So much for finding out more about him. "Does your throat hurt?"

He nods.

"Growling? Whimpering?"

A shake of the head.

You support him as you head to the door of your bathroom. "Haven't used it in so long?"

He nods.

"That's okay." You lower him onto the side of the tub. He grabs your injured arm and you freeze. "It's okay, I'm not mad about it."

He looks hurt.

"You were scared and hurt. I wish I knew what happened."

He looks down at his side and touches it, shaking his head.

You turn on the water and he looks back. "If you're going to stay, you're going to wash up. I know you're not a stray puppy and you don't even know me but-"

His hand closes over yours on the side of the tub and he turns your palm over. He traces letters into your palm. THANK YOU.

"You're welcome. I guess I just couldn't let something happen to you. My dad is hell bent on killing you for attacking me. He doesn't understand that there are plenty of reasons why you may have done it."

He traces the word HUMAN?

You nod. "Yeah, my mom is a werewolf and my half brother's are too. They moved away from town. It's just me and Dad now." You move your hand away from his and grab your shampoo. "Want me to wash your hair or can you do it?"

He points to you and the gestures to his wounded side.

Bathing a complete stranger should be far more surreal than it feels. Somehow you feel like you've known him forever, but you don't even know his name. Should you ask?  Is it too late? Does he not want to share it? You pause and he cranes his head back and reaches up to touch your face with his soapy hands.

"What?" You laugh and he just smiles really big, his wolfy teeth on full display. "I wish you could talk."

He sinks down into the water and you stand up to get a towel. You set out a shirt and some shorts that you had laying around from a friend who stayed over a while back.

"I'll leave you alone now." You say as you close the door behind you.

You fall asleep before he comes back out, waking only briefly as the bed shifts. You wonder if he's laying down or sitting beside you. It's too hard to wake up and find out and you roll over and go back to sleep.

When you wake again the room is dimly lit by the morning sky. You're laying face to face with him and his eyes open. He smiles softly, and you smile back.

"Hi, I'm Shawn." He whispers in the most strained voice you've ever heard.

Your heart stops because it's then you realize he is your soulmate. Those are the words you've waited to hear for years now. You suspected that it may be him since you were so drawn to him but this is confirmation. "Hi Shawn." You can't help the excited giggle that comes out of you.

"It's been a long time coming." He pauses to collect himself and force his voice to come out again. "I almost lost myself in the shift."

"It has been too long." You touch his nose and he closes his eyes, a tear rolling down his cheek. Your heart aches seeing him cry but you know it's relief. It's peace. It's joy and freedom from losing himself. "Good thing I came back for you." You wipe his face with your thumb.

“I’m sorry about your arm. I thought you were the wolf that had attacked me.” He touches his side.

“I knew it was a mistake.”

"Mmm. I can't believe it's you though."

"I could say the same. What were my first words for you?"

Shawn laughs and winces, gritting his teeth as the action strains his healing body. "I believe the words were 'Fuck off'. Makes sense now, how we met and all."

"Oh god, that is horrible. You must have thought I would reject you or something." You put your hand over his on the pillow. "Sorry it was so harsh, but you did try to snap at me."

"It's okay. I reacted too quickly." He coughs a bit, covering his mouth with the pillow. "But I have to know, you’re not rejecting me, so can I stay?"

You lean forward and touch your forehead to his. "Until the stars burn out."

--------

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[goldenraeofsun]

Symmetria

A 15x18 fix-it, set post-series

Also available on AO3

Dean doesn’t make an immediate trip to the Empty when all’s said and done with Chuck. He takes his time getting used to his new gig as capital D Death. Billie, of course, did not see fit to leave him a training manual. Instead Dean gets a squad of whiny angels (reapers, but still) to manage and a bajillion books to read, so he does his best to channel his inner Cas and get the job done. 

It’s nothing like that day old Death brought him along on Take Your Human to Work Day. For one, Dean's been to Heaven, so he’s not as torn up about reaping kids and good people. He can tell them with complete honesty, You’re gonna be in a better place. Heaven's awesome. No cryptic bullshit when Dean’s holding the scythe. 

For another, he’s also been to Hell, and Rowena herself set him straight on her plans for the place. Sending dead scumbags and murderers down to her is the highlight of his day. 

It’s still exhausting work, and he gets why Billie thought it would be a better punishment than killing him outright. He can never rest, never find peace, since there’s always a job to do. Death and taxes, and all that. 

Not that Dean wanted to kick the bucket before his little brother. But now Sam’s capital G God, so they’ll both be hanging around for a while longer. When Dean reaps him, Dean’ll give one of his lackeys the scythe, and they’ll both party it up in the Empty. 

Oh, and he’ll reap Jack too, since Dean can’t reap God without the Darkness. Balance, as those damn books keep telling him. 

“Hey.” Dean stomps his snowy feet on the welcome mat. He hikes his take out bags higher in his arms. 

Eileen signs hello. “How are things?”

Dean grins as they make their way to Sam and Jack in the kitchen. “Sent a Wall Street embezzler down to Rowena before I got here.” He knocks hard on the table with his knuckles to get Sam and Jack’s attention. 

Jack looks up from the textbook they both had been pour over, beaming. “Dean’s here.”

“Already?” Sam’s gaze darts to the clock above the oven. 

Dean drops the food on the table. “It’s Sunday dinner! I wouldn’t miss it since you’d probably starve without me.” He pulls out a chair and flips the book to his side of the table. He scans it with mild interest. “What’re you working on?”

“History!” Jack says brightly. “I’m learning about ancient Rome.”

Dean turns to Sam. “You know, you could just take him to see Caesar, right? Or I could. Rowena gave us an all-access pass.”

Sam bitchfaces at him. “That’s not the point, Dean.”

“The point is to learn critical thinking and rhetorical skills without supernatural assistance,” Jack says, and obviously those aren’t his words judging by the proud look on Sam’s face.

Eileen shakes her head, signing emphatically, “I don’t know if that counts if God is helping with your homework.”

“I’m just supervising!” Sam protests.

Dean snorts. "Uh huh."

Jack peers at the takeout bags with interest. “What did you bring for dinner, Dean?”

“Russian,” Dean says with a grin as Jack pulls out a container of pierogies. “Borscht, stuffed cabbage, and stroganoff. Plus some vegetable thing. I don’t know - it was all in Russian.”

Sam rolls his eyes since a little thing like a language barrier isn’t really a problem for them anymore. They’re all fluent in ASL from a snap of Sam’s fingers. He had first offered to restore Eileen’s hearing, but she politely declined. Being Deaf is part of her identity, apparently, just like keeping his stupid Jesus hair is Sam’s.

“This looks delicious,” Eileen signs as she gets to her feet to grab plates. Jack hops up too, making a bee-line for the cutlery drawer.

Sam tosses Jack’s homework on the empty seat at the table. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine,” Dean says. He pulls the stroganoff closer for first dibs.

Sam narrows his eyes as he accepts a plate from Eileen. “You sure?”

“What?” Dean makes a face. “It’s true.”

“I think you can aim a little higher than fine,” Sam says exasperatedly. “You’re a universal constant who has Sunday dinner with two cosmic beings. Plus Eileen.”

“I do only come here for Eileen,” Dean acknowledges solemnly.

Eileen winks at him as she sits back down. Jack laughs.

“There’s gotta be something else you want out of this,” Sam says, gesturing around them.

The one thing I want, is something I know I can’t have.

Dean swallows down the lump in his throat and dumps stroganoff on his plate. He deliberately does not look at the empty chair to his right, currently occupied by Jack’s homework. 

“It’s too soon,” he grunts.

“Is it?” Sam asks, eyebrows raised. “You’ve got your reapers under control. I’ve created enough new angels to run Heaven without blackouts. Jack’s got a handle on his Darkness powers and settled in at school. There’s literally been no better time.”

Dean sighs. “What if something happens?” He looks at each of them in turn. “We’ve finally got something good going for us.”

Jack makes a face like he killed yet another plant without meaning to. “But is it really good without Cas?”

* * *

Dean has lost count of the number of times he’s replayed Cas’s final moments on Earth in his head. He has also lost count of his regrets. There were so many times he could have said something, done something. Been the loving man Cas talked about in his goodbye.

But he isn’t.

He can’t love Cas. If Dean did, he would have caught on a hell of a lot sooner. Wouldn’t have waited or held back. Wouldn’t have, for the first time in that moment, questioned whether Cas could feel something as human as that. For him, of all the mud monkeys on planet Earth.

Instead, he just stood there like a jackass and let Cas get taken away by black goo again.

Love is sacrifice. Cas hammered that point home like no demon deal, no trials, no soul bomb ever has.

But Dean’s a Winchester, and if their family is known for anything, it’s throwing sacrifices back in each other’s faces - spitefully, lovingly.

Sam and Eileen hit the books. Jack writes down all he remembers about his time in the Empty.

It takes two weeks to come up with a spell to take out the Empty, or, at least, temporarily cut it off at the knees.

Dean, Sam, and Jack head back to the Bunker. Technically, Dean still lives there, but he’s usually all over the country, carrying out his Deathly duties. He hasn’t spent the night since they took out Chuck. After the adrenaline crash, he just sat back with his brother-turned-God at the war table and wondered if this’ll be the rest of their supernaturally long lives. Neither of them said much.

They prep the spells in the kitchen before heading down to the dungeon - the most secure room in the Bunker. Dean, tense as a coiled spring, tries to keep up with the laughs and jokes, but Sam keeps shooting him knowing looks.

“You good?” Sam asks as they get ready for the last seps. 

Dean, his mouth dry, can only nod.

They prop up the bowl of ingredients on an old filing cabinet, and Jack stands by with Empty bombs (based on Kevin’s demon bombs). Sam bleeds into the bowl and reads out the Enochian.

The whole Bunker rumbles ominously, before the overhead lights pop out, one by one.

Dean almost laughs - or cries. Hard to tell in the dark.

Shadows bubble up from the middle of the floor, blacker than anything else in the room. Dean adjusts his grip on his scythe, waiting with bated breath as the tarry, otherworldly substance takes a humanoid shape.

It settles on a body and a face, and Dean sees red. He stabs it straight in its trenchcoated chest, right where its heart would be.

The Empty stares down at the blade, its expression turning to wry amusement. “I believe the saying is ‘deja vu’?”

“Shut up,” Dean hisses. He yanks his scythe back as, behind him, Sam snaps his fingers. A few of the lights repair themselves. To the Empty, Dean growls, “Wear someone else’s face.”

The Empty bristles like it’s almost offended. “No?”

Sam pulls Dean behind him before Dean can stab it again. “Hi,” he says loudly over Dean’s angry spluttering, “I know we got off on the wrong foot last time, but-”

“Wrong foot?” the Empty interrupts, head tilting.

Dean’s fingers tighten around his scythe. How dare that thing wear Cas’s face, do Cas’s thing, talk like Cas. Only Sam’s arm in front of his chest stops Dean from surging forward and finishing what he started. 

“Yeah,” Sam says with a warning look at Dean. “In Death’s library - well, old Death. Dean uses a hard drive to store all his books of fate now. Look, you’re probably still pissed I woke you up, but all we need is one thing, and then we won’t bother you again.”

“Oh,” the Empty says. Its forehead furrows in a way Dean had seen on Cas too many times. The burning ache of regret flares with a new heat, and Dean glares murderously at the Empty as it says, “That wasn’t me.”

Sam’s mouth opens and closes. “What?”

The Empty clears its throat. “You met the old Empty. Billie and I killed it before she died.”

“The Empty can die?” Dean asks roughly.

It nods, its attention turning to Dean almost hungrily. “It was weakened from Jack’s explosion. Billie didn’t want to help me, naturally. But if the last Empty was still in charge, Billie’s final rest would have been far from peaceful.” It smiles. “I could also guarantee she would never have to see any of us ever again.”

“And who’re you?” Dean demands.

The smile drops off the Empty’s face. “You don’t know? After all this time?”

Dean swallows, a terrible, wonderful hope struggling to breathe in his chest. He tries, his voice almost a whisper. “Cas?” 

The Empty nods, the corners of his mouth twitching up. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean turns to Sam for verification because there’s no fucking way Dean trusts himself anymore when it comes to Cas. But Sam’s face reads nothing but mingled relief and joy, so -

Dean lets the scythe drop with a clatter and strides forward on shaky legs. Cas tenses like he’s bracing for impact. “It’s alright,” Dean tells him in a low voice as he squeezes tight. Cas is real, alive (or alive as any of them are at this point), and back in the Bunker where he belongs. “I got you, Cas.”

Cas sighs, an exhale of bone-deep weariness. He buries his face deeper in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean holds on even though it’s been way too long for a normal hug. But hell, Cas fucking loves him. Cas can deal with a little extra hug time.

Sam coughs pointedly as he steps up for his own hug. “It’s good to have you back, man.”

Cas smiles as he accepts a few manly back slaps from Sam. 

Jack rushes forward for his turn. 

“Jack,” Cas says reverently as he wraps his arms around him. “You’ve done so well.”

“Thank you,” Jack says, his voice cracking. “I missed you, Cas.”

Cas just shakes his head, overcome with emotion. “I’m very happy to see you.” He mutters a few words, too low for any of them to hear, as he disentangles himself from Jack’s arms. He looks around at the three of them. “I’d say you all are doing very well for yourselves.”

Grinning, Dean picks up his scythe and gives it a little spin. “Gee, what gave it away?” He sobers as Cas doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “But you already knew that,” Dean surmises.

“Chuck told me.”

Sam's eyes go wide. “Chuck?” 

“When he died, he was sent to the Empty,” Cas says shortly. “To me.”

Sam grimaces. “Sorry.”

Cas’s lips press together in a thin line. “It took forever for him to shut up. I suppose I should have expected it.” He sighs. “Chuck always did pride himself on being a storyteller.”

“And a dick,” Sam adds. 

 “Chuck told me about how you defeated him - his ‘greatest creations’,” Cas quotes sourly, “and about the cosmic consequences, which included a changing of the guard - God, the Darkness, Death,” he shakes his head, adding, “the Empty.”

“This was his plan?” Dean growls, his voice a mixture of anger and surprise. But his rage dies as Cas slowly shakes his head. 

“Not exactly, but he said he could appreciate the symmetry.”

“Of course he could.” Dean runs a hand down his face. “Jesus Christ, please tell me that’s the end of him.”

“I have complete control over the Empty,” Cas assures, “He isn’t waking up any time soon.”

“Oh,” Dean says awkwardly, “good. That’s good.”

Reluctantly, Cas tears his gaze away from Dean. He straightens, his mouth set determinedly, and asks Sam, “There was something you wanted?”

Sam shakes his head, his eyes dancing with amusement. “Not anymore.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “If you need anything from the Empty, I can give it to you.” He glances at each of them in turn. “As I told you once, I am always happy to bleed for the Winchesters.”

“No,” Dean chokes out before Sam or Jack can get a word in, “No goddamn bleeding - of any kind. Just, no.”

Cas’s frown deepens.

Sam grins. “We were gonna ask the Empty to wake you up. So I guess… we’re good.”

Cas blinks a few times in confusion. “You wanted… me?”

Jack throws him an incredulous look. “You’re a part of us, Cas. Of course we wanted you here.”

* * *

Dean makes burgers for dinner. Even though none of them need to eat, they’re far too used to it to stop. By the stove, he listens with half an ear as Jack peppers Cas with updates on the new world order and high school. Every once in a while, Sam’s voice comes through with a few modifiers and anecdotes.

Jack turns in first, complaining about leftover homework.

Sam takes off next, saying he promised to buy bread and eggs on the way home to Eileen. He leaves Dean and Cas alone in the Bunker’s kitchen.

Neither of them say anything as Sam’s footsteps fade up the stairs to the exit. Dean steadily keeps his eyes trained on the half-empty beer bottle spinning around in his hands. Cas sits next to him at the table, happy as a fucking clam to sit in silence, staring at Dean like he’s a goddamn miracle.

It’s too much.

This is why Dean didn’t jump to bring Cas back to the land of the living. It tore him apart inside, like metaphorical hellhound claws digging into his gut. Sure, Cas deserved to be topside. Cas deserved to have his happy ever after like the rest of Team Free Will 2.0. What Cas didn’t deserve, was a man with his head so far up his own ass he couldn’t muster up three measly words when they mattered most. And Dean had no idea how to tell Cas any of that.

“Dean,” Cas breaks the silence first because for all he said in his big goodbye speech, Dean’s a fucking coward. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again,” he clears his throat, “so I didn’t anticipate the position I would put you in by showing up. I apologize.”

Dean turns to him, alarmed. “No, don’t apologize. It’s my - I should have - you were - son of a bitch.” He presses his lips together so he doesn’t go blurting something stupid like you were so wrong about me; it fucked me up for a while.

“It’s okay,” Cas says gently. “I’ve seen Jack and you and Sam. That’s all I wanted since I left. Truly.”

Dean sucks in a breath, his pulse spiking with fear. “That sounds like another goodbye. I don’t - I don’t think I can take another one of those from you.”

Cas blinks. “You want me to stay?”

Dean’s mouth works furiously before he demands, “You don’t want to?”

“No,” Cas draws out slowly like he’s concerned for Dean’s sanity, “but if my presence-”

“Stop,” Dean holds up a hand, “just ‘cause I don’t know what to say to you -” liar “- doesn’t mean you have to get exiled from the whole planet. You saved the world, the same as us. The very least you get is free rent for eternity.” 

“If you say so,” Cas says doubtfully.

“Jack would be real upset if you fucked back off to the Empty for the rest of time,” Dean adds. “He’s studying the Roman Empire and could use some help from someone who was there.” He takes a sip of beer, and fuck cosmic tolerances. He could drink a whole liquor store and not feel anything. 

The corners of Cas’s mouth twitch. “I was actually stationed in China during that time. I would be a minor help at best.”

“Then make it up,” Dean says with a grin. “It’s not like Jack will know the difference. And if his teachers call him out on it, Sam can wave his magic wand and make it true anyway. All hail President Clinton.”

Cas snorts. “That would be one way to help, I suppose.”

Dean drains his beer, a purely instinctual response, before he starts, “You’ve levelled up. Got a power upgrade as the Empty.” At Cas’s tentative nod, he goes on, “You could’ve said something, dude. Given us some sign. I - we all thought you died. For good.”

“I cannot come to Earth without being summoned,” Cas says heavily.

Dean makes a face. “Rules like that never stopped any of us before.”

“You could have performed the summoning ritual at any time - all the cards were in your hands.” Cas’s gaze drops to the table. “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

Dean shakes his head vehemently. “That wasn’t the case at all.”

“But you said you don’t know how to talk to me,” Cas points out.

Dean swallows. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want you around. I didn’t know how to talk to you when you were cuckoo for cocoa puffs, when you had fucking amnesia. Hell, it was even weird when you were human. But things are… better with you here. No matter what.”

“Really?” Cas asks, the doubt clear in his voice.

“Of course,” Dean says gruffly. “You gotta know that.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean says as he gets up for another drink - old habits, “now you do.”

“Do you still believe this?” Cas presses.

“Never doubted it for a second,” Dean promises as he sits back down.

“Even after you sent me away?” Cas asks quietly.

“Hey,” Dean says sharply, “You made that choice to walk out that door.” But that old anger doesn’t survive long in the wake of the look on Cas’s face. Dean smiles humorlessly as he twists the cap off. It clatters to the table, the sound echoing around the empty kitchen. “But, yeah, that was me being angry over a bunch of shit that was out of our control. Not you. You just happened to be in my line of fire.” Dean takes a long pull from the bottle. “What a guy to fall for, huh? Blames you for everything that goes wrong and makes you think you’re better off gone.”

Cas freezes. “So we’re talking about it?”

Dean raises his eyebrows, half in surprise at himself. “Guess so.”

“Nothing has to change,” Cas assures him. “The only difference is you know about my feelings for you.”

“How long have you had them?” Dean asks with a casual air that’s one-hundred percent, Grade-A bullshit. 

Cas presses his lips together as he thinks. “Since you took me to that brothel.”

Dean chokes on his drink. “Seriously?”

Cas ducks his head, a surprisingly human gesture of embarrassment. “I didn’t know it then,” he says in a low voice, “all I knew was that I wanted to impress you. I had never felt that way about anyone before, except God.”

“Gross, man.”

Cas purses his lips. “Not like that.” He sighs. “But I suppose it happened the year I made that deal with Crowley.” He reaches for his own beer bottle, long emptied sometime in the middle of dinner. He spins it between his fingers contemplatively. “I told myself I made the deal to make the world safer for you, so you could live out your retirement in peace. But it was just a convenient ploy to keep myself busy. You didn’t need me for the first time since Hell.” He presses his lips together. “My love for you made me reckless and blind, as approximately 231,600 love songs could have told me, if I had bothered to listen to any of them.”

Dean chuckles. “It probably would have been better if you just had an emo phase.” At Cas’s frown of confusion, Dean waves it off, “Forget it. It’s water under the bridge anyway.” He sips his beer. “Since the Purgatory deal? That’s a long time.”

“Not for an angel,” Cas counters. “I’m extremely old.”

Dean snorts a laugh. “Touché.”

“You’re not going to ask why I never told you before?”

Dean shakes his head. “You made that pretty clear in your little goodbye speech. ‘The one thing I want, is something I know I can’t have’,” he rattles off the phrase that had been bouncing around his skull for the past month and a half.

Cas bites his lip, a shade of hurt lurking behind his eyes at hearing his words parroted back to him. “I had always known my feelings were fruitless. Telling you was more of an act for myself than for you,” he says to the table, “but I didn’t think I would be around to know what that meant for us.”

“I get that,” Dean says haltingly, “but they’re not.”

“They’re not what?”

Dean forcibly lets go of his empty beer bottle because he’s going to shatter it if he says this next bit with glass between his hands. “Your feelings. They’re not fruitless. They’re, uh, pretty fucking fruity.”

Cas’s mouth opens and closes, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. “Is that a dated and offensive reference to homosexuality?”

“What?” Dean yelps, “No!”

Cas sits there, nonplussed.

“Your feelings,” Dean says through gritted teeth. “What you want. You can have it.”

Cas makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t,” Dean mutters. “Even with all of history crammed in your noggin, you don’t get it. Fine.” He shifts in his seat so he can face Cas fully. “Let me clear things up for you. Just… smite me if I cross a line.”

“Dean,” Cas protests, “As the Empty, I can’t smite any-”

Dean cuts him off with a kiss.

As far as first kisses go, it’s passable. Cas clearly has some experience - he doesn’t go straight for the tongue, but he’s frozen for so long, Dean almost pulls away to check if he drastically miscalculated. But Cas exhales, tentative hands wrap around Dean’s forearms, and he pulls Dean in closer. Dean smiles against his mouth, small puffs of laughter escaping as Cas’s nose bumps against his. He cups Cas’s jaw in one hand, and Cas lets out a little sigh, melting the last few layers of Dean’s reservations about this whole business.

It’s the promise in the kiss that makes it awesome. This isn’t their end. For once, the world isn’t on fire, and they’re not playing catch up with an apocalypse.

It’s just them, Death and the Empty.

The Endgame for every human, angel, and demon on Earth.

Suck it, Chuck. That’s fucking symmetry.

[justimagaine]

Chris Evans

Protect  — to keep someone or something safe from injury, damage, or loss. Chris was determent to do that for you. From the moment he met you and even more when you and him started to date. That was what he concentrated on. He’d plan out dates to make sure no paparazzi would be there. He’d fins places that he knew would give you two privacy and  wouldn’t rat you two out. When ever he’d be posting something online he’d make sure you weren’t in the picture or the video. He wanted to make sure no one harassed you, no one went after you. All he wanted was to protect you from the harsh world he lived in, but the thing is no matter how much a person tries they can’t always be a step ahead and protect from everything. No matter how hard they tried.

It had been a regular day in your and Chris` life. Since he was working close to home, you two were able to spend more time together. Sometimes he’d had a hard day so you welcomed him home with a cooked meal, cold beer and a big hug. Just knowing you’d be there when he got home and he could wrap his arms around you, bury his head in our neck and breath in your sweet scent. Just that thought would relax him and bright a smile. That also was the reason he’d run off the set and speed home. It wasn’t like that before when you lived in your place and he in his, so after you moved in with him, both of your lives became happier. You saw each other more, talked more and seemed to get even closer.

It was one of those days. Chris had called you telling about the horrible day he was having. Nothing had went the way it was supposed to go, people were late and he was off, not able to focus or remember any of his lines. You could hear the tiredness over the phone, you could see the tension in his shoulder. It made you a bit sad knowing he was having a bad day. So after that call you started to make dinner, everything you knew he’d enjoy. You made a quick run to the store to get his favorite beer and sweets. Since Chris always did amazingly sweet things for you on daily bases, you loved being able to do something like this for him. It brought you joy, knowing you could help him out. Everything was going according to plan and right on time. Just as you had finished cooking dinner you heard Chris arrive. You stood in the kitchen with a smile on you lips waiting for him to come in. You knew what he was going to do and you couldn’t wait. Chris really had a horrible day, because he ran into the house dropping everything he had in his hands and even ignoring Dodger, he went right to the kitchen, he then took a pause smiling and looking at you. Chris loved to just look at you, no matter what you were doing. You could be asleep on the couch and he’d sit and look at you, smiling. he just loved having you around.

  “Welcome home sweetheart” you said slightly turning your head to him wondering why he was taking his time. Chris slowly wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in his chest, you leaned your head back, resting it on his shoulder letting him bury his head in that sweet spot between your neck and shoulder he loved so much. The two of you stood there for a bit, enjoying being with each other once again. It was just a day but it felt like a life time. Few minutes like that, Chris placed a soft kiss on your neck, bringing butterflies to life in your stomach. Even after all this time he still was able to do that to you. With a look he could make you giggle and blush like a teen. With a small tender kiss he’d make you weak in our knees. Before he could let go of you completely you turned around wrapping your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Your right hand roamed up in his hair, making Chris let out a light moan as he pulled you closer. He really had missed you and your touch

  “God, I love you” he said after pulling away from the kiss “I really missed you” he said kissing your forehead and looked in your eyes

  “I missed you too, but it’s okay you’re here now and that’s all that matters” after giving his lips another peck you introduced him to the dinner plans you had made for him. With every item he got happier and more relaxed, the most important thing to him about that evening plan was knowing he was going to be able to hold you in his arms, close to his heart as you watched tv. Just the two of you, close to each other. That was all he really needed to unwind and feel at peace. Chris had never been with someone or at least met someone who brought that much joy to him. Someone who could calm him down with just a smile, small touch. He loved when you’d have your hand in his hair slightly massaging his head and then go down to his neck, he felt as if he was in heaven. Chris wished those moments would never end. Like the one he was in right now. He was laying on his back and you by his side with your head on his shoulder, your hand right on his heart. Chris was looking down at you, smiling and silently thanking God for bringing you in his life, introducing the right people to the right people so you two could meet. He took your hand, lifted it to his lips and kissed it. You looked up at him and as always being in his arms and looking in his eyes made you feel safe and at home.

  “Thank you for being here. Thank you for being so supportive” Chris talked placing a kiss on your hand after every thank you “thank you for trusting me with your heart and love” his words made you tear up, You quickly leaned up and kissed him, you gave him the most passionate kiss you could.  You two stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other. Chris had always been the most amazing man ever. No matter what you knew you could trust him, he’d never judge you. Chris would make you feel special even when you didn’t feel like it. He’d love you no matter what, even when you were being silly or stubborn.

Later on you went to bed while Chris stayed back. He wanted to finish some work before the weekend, his plan was to spend the weekend with you without any work. Chis was planing on taking you on a small trip over the weekend as a way to thank you for being so amazing while he worked. Especially you not getting mad at him when he’d end up having to stay later at work. You understood he was doing he loved to do and knowing he was working on something he was so proud of and happy about, made you happy. Chris answered some emails, read over the next weeks plan to know if he had an early Monday, hoping it was a late Monday so he could be with you a bit longer in the morning before the crazy week started over again. He loved it when he didn’t have to be on set too early, that gave him an opportunity to stay in bed with you until you had to get up. Chris then would make you some coffee and a quick breakfast while you got ready. You didn’t know but Chris in his mind was practicing for when you two would have kids and they needed to get ready for school. 

After finishing work Chris took a look in Twitter just to see what was going on in the world, since he hadn’t been online in a while and probably shouldn’t have done that. When he opened Twitter his mentions opened first and they were filled with pictures of you and Chris. Pictures from the date you and Chris had the week before. He couldn’t believe what he was looking at, he’d been so careful, like always. So what had he done wrong this time.

“Fuck”, he said out loud, leaning back in his chair. Chris had worked so hard to protect you form all those people and all it was a waist. He kept scrolling down and one tweet after another had information about you that he couldn’t believe people had found out. Your full name, where you worked, how long you two were dating. “fuck” he said again panicking even more. That was it. The world knew about you, they already were forming opinions about you and the relationship you and Chris had. No one really knew you, but yet they already had judged you, judged you wrongly. Chris felt like screaming or posting a statement and asking people to mind their own fucking business, but knew that wouldn’t be right it would make the fire even bigger. Out of everything he feared you seeing all this. He was afraid to see your broken heart, tears in your eyes and he knew that in the end you’d break up with him and he’d never be happy again. All of his tries to keep you away from the public eye hadn’t worked. Chris slammed the laptop closed and rubbed his face trying to calm himself, before going to the bedroom you shared. All Chris wanted to do was protect you, keep you safe. He had no idea how to go about this, if he should tell you about it right now or wait till morning or wait till you found out yourself. It didn’t matter because in his mind the ending was always the same, you leaving him.

After staring at a wall for a while, going through ideas, plans, ways anything that would resolve the situation but there was nothing. With a heavy sigh Chris stood up and slowly mad his way to the room. The door was slightly opened and the light shined from the room, he hoped you had fallen asleep with the lights, but when he gently pushed the door more open you lifted your head off the pillow and smiled at him. Chris tried to smile back at you and act as if everything was fine, but he couldn’t fool you 

“What’s wrong?” you sat up in bed and watched Chris walk around the bed to his side. “something wrong with the next weeks set plan?” you tried to guess what was bothering him since he wasn’t talking. Chris shook his head sitting down on the bed with his back to you. He was afraid to look in your eyes. Chris felt the bed move, meaning you were getting closer to him, you  crawled behind him placing a hand on is shoulder slightly rubbing it. Seeing him like this hurt you. “Chris what’s wrong?” him not talking to you made you think of the worst things that could have possibly happened. Family getting hurt, show getting canceled.

“They found out” he finally said, but that didn’t explain anything to you

“Who found what out?” Chris sighed as you leaned to the side trying to look at his face. He finally turned to you with red eyes “Chris...” 

“About you, about us. The world found out” as he was finally saying it out loud made him even angrier. He stood up and walked to the window “I tried, I really tried” you watched as he sighed and turned around to look in your eyes “i swear baby, I tried to protect you from them, from their looks and unwanted opinions. I don’t know how they found us, but I’m sorry. I love you but I’ll understand if you leave. Everyone else did” he was panicking, he wasn’t looking at you anymore. Chris was in pain, in fear. 

“I’m not everyone else Chris. I’m not gonna leave you just because people found out we’re dating,” you stood up from the bed and went up to Chris, who was looking at the ground. You made him look at you, without thinking Chris placed his hands on your hips as he always did when you were this close to him “I love you Chris, I don’t care about what other people think or say. They’re not in a relationship. we are” you pointed between you two “You should have known we weren’t going to be able to keep this a secret for the rest of our lives. And when we got together, I knew what I was getting myself into and I didn’t care. I love you, you make me happy. I see a future with you. Us having kids. That’s what I see when I look at you. And nothing can changed that” he finally smiled hearing your words “I’ll always love you no matter where we are or who’s around us. We could be surrounded by paparazzi and screaming people but as long as I have you by my side, your hand in mine nothing else matters” you stroked his bearded cheek, Chris leaned in your touch, then kissed your hand.

“I love you too. I love you so much” Chris pulled you closer to him and kissed your smiling lips. He held you close to him, not wanting to let go of you ever. Chris might still be a bit afraid what could happen. If you would read all those tweets, but he just hoped it would all calm down. But he also knew he’d never stop protecting you, he loved you more then anything. You were his safe place, his home and he’d  do anything to make you feel the same way you mad him feel. He wanted to be with you everyday, he wanted to share everything with you. From the moment Chris met you he knew you were the one, the one he had been looking for all this time, his home, his love, his family.

[luvlyrv]

Second Place (Joy x Fem!Reader)

Genre: Enemies to lovers, fluff

Summary: As a passionate swimmer, everything was going amazing for you until she came into your life. Since then things haven’t been the same and you can’t help but to feel frustrated and defeated. What will happen to this unresolved tension?

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: My first proper post, I truly hope you like it. I tried hard to make it a believable enemies to lovers dynamic and for it to be high quality. My draft ended up being 4 pages on google docs on size 11 tnr font haha. Please get back to me with any feedback you can and I apologize if there are any grammatical issues. Dedicated to my friend Kat :)

Date: 6/25/2020

You ready yourself at the edge of the pool as you turn to look at her. Your face began to heat with anger and your chest was pounding. How could she be so perfect? She was seemingly always a step ahead of you. It felt like she took everything away from you. She took your friends, your teammates, she swam like a goddess, all while being so gorgeous and... 

Oh god? What were you thinking? You shook your head and turned away to focus on the water gently swaying in front of you. You steady your breathing and dive into the water. The familiar and welcoming cool feeling enveloped your body. It was usually in the water that you felt at peace, yet this time the only thing you could think about was her. Your only thoughts were about your recent built-up frustration. Sooner than you expected, you felt the wall of the pool and lifted yourself up. Your breathing was heavy as you looked at your coach with a stopwatch in her hand. “Good work Y/N! You managed to shave off a couple seconds on your PR. Keep working hard and you might beat Joy over there!”, you only managed to chuckle a bit in response.

That seriously pissed you off.

Ever since that girl transferred, you’ve been in second place. Knocked off the pedestal you’ve kept for so long. When you used to be the best on the team, she stomped on you. All of a sudden nearly all your ‘friends’ paid no mind to you. Instead favoring to focus on the new girl, who’s infectious smile garnered her the nickname Joy.

What hurt the most is that you understood why people were dying for her attention. While you excelled in your studies and sports, she somehow did even better. The very little free-time Sooyoung seemed to have was fought over by everyone.

Ever since then, you silently declared her as your rival.

You make your way towards the locker room when you feel a smack on your shoulder. Sooyoung passes by and you see her annoying little smile as she says, “Maybe you’ll beat me next time”.

Since the moment she walked into your life it felt like she had her eyes on you, that she was out to get you. You try to shake off your anger and continue making your way. Inside, you hear the murmurs and giggles of some of the girls joking around, as well as the praises your teammates would give Sooyoung. You ignore it and mind your own business. As practice is wrapping up and everyone says their goodbyes, your coach pulls you and Sooyoung aside. 

“Now girls, I’m sure it’s quite obvious that the both of you are the top swimmers we have on this team,” your coach begins to quietly speak to the both of you. “The other girls on the team have made their opinions of you quite clear. When the season officially starts I need you guys to help unify the team and do even better than last year,” you start grinning. You already knew where this conversation was going, having heard iterations of the same speech before. You were glad to know that your coach still viewed you highly.

“Sooyoung, the team needs you to be their captain. Y/N, you need to work to help co-captain this team into victory.”

Your smile seemed to slowly fade.

“Ah, thank you so much! I’m so honored to be in this position. You know I’ll do my best for the team.”, Sooyoung said with her iconic smile, bowing to show her appreciation. You try not to show the disappointment on your face. You thought that even though Sooyoung was a better swimmer than you, you’d still the get the position of captain. After all, you’re the one who’s been on the team longest, who’s worked with your teammates for longer than Sooyoung has. Even though in a sense the position of co-captain was the same, you couldn’t help but to feel upset with the #2 label being stuck on you. All you could do was put on a small smile as you say in a meek voice, “Thank you coach. I accept this responsibility and will work hard.”

Your coach smiled at the both of you and patted your backs. “I’m so incredibily proud of what you’ve both accomplished. Now, I’m asking that the both of you try to be friendlier with each other. I see the kinds of looks you give. Just lighten up, okay? We need strong pillars for the team this year. Maybe try practicing with each other more and learn from each other.”

Coach sends the both of you out as she get’s caught up doing her own work. You quietly walk out of the building and to the parking lot together. Even though you were walking next to a person you felt like you despised, you couldn’t help but also feel amazed. Sooyoung was certainly one of the most hardworking and talented people you’ve ever met. You snap out of those thoughts though when all of a sudden you hear her voice.

“Hey, about what coach said... “

“Yeah?”

“Let’s swim together. For practice, I guess. Coach would like that.”

You weigh the matter in your head for a few seconds. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, they say. Perhaps this was a wonderful opportunity being presented right in front of you. If you two swam together you would get to observe her technique. Maybe you could impress or intimidate her. Really, you wanted to keep tabs on her, and if she’s by your side all the time, if she’s the one you’re competing against day by day... what else would be a better motivator to improve? You sigh before talking.

“Sure.”

⁑

Weeks pass by and you spend nearly everyday with Sooyoung. Although you originally thought that it would be a good idea, it ended up being hell on Earth. When you thought that you could motivate yourself, which was true to some extent, you ended up being more frustrated. Every time you practiced together Sooyoung couldn’t help but to make snide remarks.

“Slipping up? Ah geez, and I thought you were finally beginning to improve.”

“God, You’re like a fish out of water. Flapping your arms like that.”

“How’d you even make it this far?”

Every time she made one of her comments you would ball up your firsts and count to ten. What made it worse was that you felt horrible seeing her improve so much. It made you feel like you could never catch up.

One night when practicing late together your feelings had boiled over. Both of you were in the locker room and had just finished changing clothes. You look at her as she has that stupid smirk on her face and she begins opening her mouth. Before you could spew another hurtful comment you slam your fist next to her, a loud banging noise erupting as your hand came in contact with the metal of the locker. You’re face to face with her as your eyes begin to water.

“God! Why are you so insufferable? You’re everything I want, you know. You have absolutely everything and you have the audacity to rub it in my face. Do you know how much that hurts? Ever since you transferred here my life has been so different. You make me feel so isolated and useless, how can I ever catch up to someone like you? Tell me, how? Are you happy now?”

You knew your face was reed as wet tears streamed down your face. 

“Are you...? Now can you stop... stop saying such hurtful things to me. Please.” 

Your voice cracked during your last few sentences.

You feel like a fool as you stand there, looking at Sooyoung’s lost face. You turn around and head for the exit. “Forget it.” you say. Before you make it far you feel a soft tug on your hand and you turn back around.

Sooyoung gives you the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. As much as you hate her your heart broke when you saw the pain on what was usually a radiant and happy face. Her mouth opens up a little bit.

“I’m sorry.”

“Is that all?” you ask and begin turning around again. Once again you feel that soft tug. You felt grateful for it, because as soon as you dismissed her apology like that your heart broke again. You face her another time and let her speak.

“That was out of hand. I’m so sorry. I’ve been so rude to you... I should’ve known better. Look, Y/N, why do you think I transferred here in the first place?”

“I-I don’t know... I mean we’re known for our academics I guess.” you felt dumbfounded and startled from the strange question.

“There’s that, but there’s also you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you.” Sooyoung gives a soft smile to you. “I guess you never noticed me since we did different events at the time, but I saw you and noticed you before I ever came here. I’ve always loved swimming, but when I got to see you swim, you were on a completely different level. I saw a passion I never saw or felt before. You inspired me a lot, Y/N. To be a better person, to be a better swimmer. I saw that charming smile on your face, I saw your affect on your teammates, and I wanted to be like you.”

You stand there as the tears going down your face were appearing for a different reason. Sooyoung takes a step closer to you.

“I trained so hard. Hours and hours of swimming daily, every part of me being sore. I wanted to be here with you because I thought if I was right next to a star, I’d shine brightly too. I just wanted your attention so bad I didn’t think hard enough about how all my actions would affect you, and that’s my shortcoming.”

“Sooyoung, I-”

“What I’m trying to say is I’ve admired you for a long time.”

You don’t know how to feel. You couldn’t tell if the warm budding feeling in your chest was from surprise or something else. How could she of all people admire you? The perfect Sooyoung who brings joy to all of those around her. How could she ever view someone like you so highly? Every ounce of anger you had felt since she arrived began to melt away.

You hug her tightly and feel her arms warp around your waist in a way that fit perfectly. You softly whisper into her ear.

“I think I admire you too.”

Suddenly she pulls away from the hug and before you could react she placed a chaste kiss on your lips.

“I can give you one for every mean thing I’ve said.”

[previouslynebraskan]

Why humans are assholes

Hi, my pen name is Gwendolyn, and welcome to my TED talk on empathy

*side note, I suck at writing, and my train of thought is derailed frequently.  So buckle up, and I’ll be surprised if you make it with me to the end, as we don’t know organization.

First off, I’ll disclaim something terrible about myself.  I’m a Christian.  Even worse.  I’m a rosary rattler.  A Catholic!  Oh and you thought it couldn’t get worse?  I’m not even a good one.  God and I are only on speaking terms when I need him (which is pretty frequent, but not the point).  Church feels like an obligation most weeks, and just because I know the rules and believe in the rules, doesn’t mean that I follow them.  

Alrighty!  Terrible things out of the way.  Let’s begin.  Humans are assholes.  Most people, especially the population of Tumblr, will agree with me.  Between human atrocities, selfishness, and down right lack of care, humans are just assholes.  I am too.  I am human.  Ask my siblings.  Like any good older sister, I wanted nothing to do with my siblings, and when forced to see them at school, I was unprecedently mean to them.  Ask my husband.  I am ridiculously selfish, and only do things when it suits me.  And yet, there is an entire history of the human race, with worse individuals than myself.  And a lot of people might see that, and think, cool, I feel better about myself, because I’m not Hitler.  I feel better about myself because I wasn’t a member of the KKK.  Well, personally, I don’t.  The next disclaimer I am going to make about myself, I’m a self-diagnosed empath.  I’ve never been to a therapist.  I don’t currently have plans to either, but I’ll let God decide that path later.  The reason I bring this up, and the reason I mentioned my religion at the beginning, is because I truly believe that if not for my first disclaimer, my second might not exist.  

I am a crier.  And I get annoyed at criers.  But I don’t cry at reasonable things.  No.  I cry at other people’s feelings.  Let’s bastardize the golden rule real quick.  For those who are unaware, “Treat others how you want to be treated.”  Now, I’m sure many people recall going through a phase where they could translate that in their still learning brains to “I can treat people however I want because I wouldn’t care if they were that way to me.”  Now back to the golden rule.  The bastardization is, put yourself in someone else’s shoes.  How many of us got told this by their parents at a young age after not playing nicely with another kid?  Apparently, God took it upon Himself to write that verse on my heart.  And it went something like this:  I cried when my mother told me that her grandmother (whom I had only met twice and had no actual recollection of) died.  I was inconsolable when my grandfather died.  So much so that even now, almost fifteen years later, it still stops me in my tracks, my heart hurts so much.  I cried when Michael Jackson died.  I didn’t really even like his music that much.  I’ve cried at almost every movie I’ve ever seen.  My sister’s speech at my wedding included the moment where she had to chaperone me on a date with my then boyfriend, and we went to Frozen.  Now yes, I cried at the scene when her parents die in the shipwreck.  But it gets worse.  Elsa is out there, just ran away, no plans for shelter yet apparently, and she begins to break out into song.  At first I’m fine.  But then I can feel my heart, as she sings, “well now they know.”  I start bawling my eyes out.  And all I can give in response to my sister’s quizzical look of “What the fuck is wrong with you???” (Yes I cursed, I told you, not one of the good ones. Fuck off), was: “She’s just so happy!”  I wouldn’t necessarily say I was sad at that time.  But I could feel the relase that an animated character was expressing on the big screen.  I could feel the weight come off of her shoulders, and I cried.  I mourned for what she went through, but shed tears of joy that she had found peace.  Tonight.  I was watching Facebook videos instead of taking care of my nightly routine of getting ready for bed.  And a Mengele twin told her story of survival.  When she mentioned looking around for her father and older sisters, I felt that.  When she said she could still see her mother’s outstreched arms, I could see that.  When she mentioned the panic of trying to save her sister years after liberation, trying to find records of what was done to them, her rage and anger.  And then her forgiveness.  Do you know how strong someone has to be in order to forgive?  To let go of the pain in your heart, knowing you’ll never get revenge.  You’ll never get an answer.  And you just let it go?  That strength is super human.  This week, as we pass the 20th anniversary of the tragedy of 9/11, my hometown did a wonderful commemoration.  I cried.  My aunt gave me a look of disgust because I was crying, again.  I cried not only for those who lost their lives, but for their families who would never be whole, for the heroes who stepped up, then and now.  I am a proud Navy wife.  My husband is out sacrificing his time, so that I don’t have to.  And so that I can worship my stupid religion that I cling to, so I can walk around saying inappropriate words and wear not enough clothing.  But he made that choice.  There are a lot who didn’t.  Earlier this week, someone posted the transcription of the phone call of flight 93.  The moment that he said that the passengers wanted to sacrifice their lives, for the sake of our country, I hurt.  And then he asked the person on the other end of the line to pray.  Another video this week, an ex soldier, who fought early on in Afghanistan was telling a story about one of his soldiers.  They were getting ready for a raid that would likely kill them.  His soldier asks, I know we signed up to fight, but why are we doing this?  The man’s response was, for the people up in that tower who didn’t.  He goes on to explain the story of a young mother. Two kids.  Went to work like any other day, and her last attempt at human decency was to hold her skirt down as she jumped out of the burning tower, so the people below couldn’t see up her skirt.  

Crpl. Page was a Marine from my state who just passed away.  He was two years younger than me.  I never knew him.  But I grieve for his family and friends.  

See the worst part about being an empath in a world where human’s are assholes, is there’s never a shortage of people’s feelings to feel.  I’ve been told that you can experience an emotion so strongly that your body’s only reaction to the volume of what it feels is to cry.  And that resonates with me.  I feel joy to such an extreme when I’m with my family, celebrating time together.  I feel the sorrow of people missing loved ones, and their hearts breaking.  And there are times when I wonder if it’s a gift? Or if it’s a curse.  It’s a gift to be able to go to someone and say, I can feel for you and your situation.  I don’t feel sorry for you.  I feel your pain as though it were my own. But it’s a curse to feel the attrocities of humanity and just sit and wonder why it had to happen.  Why it had to come to this.   I got told I was crying for attention.  I wasn’t, but that didn’t matter. Supposedly, behavioral psychology could “fix me” if I wanted it.  I could be trained to control my emotions, and process them in a way that wasn’t so consuming.  It would definetly help my self diagnosed depression.  But let’s posit that God made me this way for a reason.  He gave me this gift with a purpose in mind.  What then?  The problem is, I don’t know how to effectively use it without letting it ruin my life.  I can never be a therapist, because I would be able to take on the feelings of my clients.  And while I do very much believe in tough love, I also belive that if you just have the right push in the right direction, great changes can be made.  Would the Holocaust have happened if Hitler had  better relationship with his mother? (this is a personal piece, I am reflecting on history classes I haven’t taken since high school.  I’m not fact checking this. Don’t at me.)  Would Columine have taken place if those kids had been in a better place mentally?  

You know what the awful thing is...? Look at all of these events.  Look at all of these heart wrenching dates in history.  And then look what came out of them.  Out of 9/11 came one of the most unified fronts America has had in a long time.  Out of World War II came men of valor.  A chemical reaction occurs when you take an object, and force it to experience a high degree of change.  And that is what gives us assholes grit.  Our experiences make us tougher, and make us better.  And maybe less of a crybaby in my case.  Or more of a cyborg who doesn’t experience emotion for fear of being consumed by them. 

Ramble is over.  For those of you who persisted and tried to keep up, good job and I’m sorry.  For those who didn’t, don’t worry, I wouldn’t blame you.  

Some effort is better than none at all, and if all you are capable of is existing today, then I hope you do, and I know you will do it beautifully.

[chuckbass-love]

can I request a Steve Rogers x trans!female reader where reader is pre-op. Tony is hosting a Christmas party, Steve and reader have been dating for a while and reader is insecure about wearing a dress to the party, so Steve comforts her, takes her out shopping, and is eventually her date to the x-mas party and keeps on reassuring and supporting her? thanks!

Hi love! Thank you so much for this request. I’m a sucker for cute Steve being all in love and crazy for his girl so i was more than happy to write this! 

I’m so nervous to post this! I always get anxious when posting requests as i want the person that requested it to love it so i hope you do! 

I just want to take the time out now to say that if anyone who follows me is transphobic then please leave at the nearest exit. 

Trans men ARE men and Trans women ARE women. That is all! I hope you enjoy bc fluffy Steve is here!

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Trans!Female reader

Warnings: A whole lotta fluff and i guess some angst too

Word Count: 1,806

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @hasan-minhaj go check them out ❤️

You’re Fucking Perfect

Growing up, life has been pretty tough for you, you never managed to fit in. Life got even harder as you slowly but surely started the process of transitioning from male to female. Not everyone was accepting but you already expected it.

You hated being the odd one out, the girl that everyone automatically refused to call a girl. But no matter how much you hated that, you knew one day, things would change, someone would love you for you and you’d be accepted by not just that person but by everyone around you.

Now was that time. 

You’re happy and healthy, pre-op of course but it didn’t matter. Because you have the most amazing boyfriend who accepts every part of you, the good and the dark parts. You have friends too, friends who care for you. 

You can genuinely say that you’re happy again and happy with who you are becoming and with how your life is panning out.

You step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your body and proceeding to dry off and change into new clothes, ready for another day.

“Hey babe” your boyfriend calls out, you just finish off with your very particular skin care routine. A girl needs to look her best always.

You wonder into the living area, to find him stood there, brows furrowed as he squints at his phone. 

“You really need glasses baby, your squinting again”

He waves you off as he chuckles.

“Come here” you strut over, sitting down at the breakfast bar as he places the food onto your dish. 

“What is it anyways?” you shove some scrambled eggs into your mouth.

“Tony texted, he’s throwing a Christmas party this weekend, we’ve been invited”

Panic starts to rush over you like a tidal wave. 

You’ve yet to meet his Avengers pals and you’re nervous to. You know they know who you are, Steve always talks about you to everyone. He’s always gushing about how lucky he feels to have such an amazing woman in his life.

It always puts a smile on your face whenever he tells you about his day and how he got caught up speaking about you rather than focusing on the mission.

He was more than proud to have you and you felt so loved and always lucky to be loved by him.

But now you have to meet them.

What are you even going to wear? What do you say to them?

All these questions flood your already over worked brain as you pause, not touching your food.

“Baby” Steve snaps his fingers in front of your face, pulling you out of your daze.

“Yeah?” he chuckles again.

“Is everything okay? you’ve barely said two words to me after all that”

You flash him a confused expression.

“I said did you want to go and decide what to wear, i already have an outfit but i know how you love to look your best, even though no effort is needed for that”

You shove him playfully, hopping off the stool and leading him to the bedroom to decide together.

Hopefully finding a killer outfit will help calm your nerves.

“How about this?” you reference to a black playsuit. He shrugs, shaking his head.

Every outfit you choose is bad. 

“Tell you what, why don’t we just go shopping? I can buy a new one for you”

“Steve, baby. I don’t need you to buy it for me”

“I know you don’t, you’re as stubborn as anything but please. Let me treat my woman to a new outfit” 

You giggle as he pulls you flush against him. Your heart starts to race.

“Let’s not get carried away now Rogers” you slide his hand off of your ass. Moving past him to walk out the door.

He follows, like a little puppy dog chasing his treat.

-------------------------

“Ugh i don’t know, i hate this one too” you sigh, looking in the mirror as Steve sits there in the changing room stall, watching you strip down to try the next one on.

“That’s s the one, that’s it” you look at him, then back to yourself in the mirror. Turning around to check yourself out.

It’s a little black dress, this would go perfect with your red bottom heels. But you’re not sure if you want to attend a party in this. 

“Baby, you look incredible in this” he gushes, causing your cheeks to heat up.

You can’t deny his compliment, you do look amazing but the anxiety is hitting you full force. 

What will people think? Will they accept you?

You’re still just halfway into the transition and you’re about to consider wearing a dress to a party.

Steve notices your face fall.

“Look, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I love you remember, this dress looks incredible on you and you’ll knock em all dead with this. Me included”

You giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely. 

“Now please, let me get this for you and then we can go get some food. I’m starving”

“Okay, are you sure i should be wearing a dress, considering i-”

He doesn’t even let you finish, he already knows what you were about to say anyways.

“No, we’re not having this again. You’re not about to put yourself down and do the whole ‘considering i’m still a guy’ routine. You’re a woman, a beautiful one at that and i can’t wait for you to see yourself the way i do because to me you’re fucking perfect”

Your heart melts, his love for you is overflowing right now. You can see it in his eyes. His dreamy blue eyes.

You sigh, letting him move closer. His lips touch yours in a gentle but all consuming kiss. 

“I love you so much Y/N”

“I love you too”

You take the dress off and get back into your original clothes. Steve takes it to the register to pay before you both head out to grab a bite to eat.

----------------------------

It’s time, the day of the party is today. You feel sick as you finish your makeup. You slip your shoes on and stand up from the bed to be faced with Steve.

“Well dam” a flirty look fills his face, his eyes are clearly hungry for what’s in front of him. 

“You really are quite literally the most beautiful woman ever” you hide your face in your hands but he pulls them away.

“Now, i know you’re nervous baby, so take this. It should help a little”

He hands you a shot of tequila, you gladly accept. You both scrunch your noses up at the taste as he takes the shot glass from you. 

You head out the door to the cab waiting for the two of you.

“You’ll be fine baby, i’m with you, i’m gonna be with you all night”

You go to kiss his cheek but he turns his head so you get his lips instead. The kiss gets heated but just as things are close to taking a kinkier turn, the cabbie coughs as you arrive at your destination.

“Here goes nothing” you groan.

“They will love you and you look insane”

His constant comments of reassurance fills you with joy and happiness.

You were happy before you met him, of course you were. But he filled you with more happiness. He always tries his best to make you see how completely amazing you are. Some days you agree with a whole lotta sass and others you shake your head, not wanting to look him in the eye.

But you know every woman has this, even men too. Everyone is in a constant battle for self love.

You link your arm into his, strutting your way through the door to Tony’s place.

You’re instantly greeted by Pepper. Steve told you about her, Tony’s girlfriend and assistant. 

“Steve, you made it” she pulls him into a hug before turning to you.

“This must be Y/N it’s so lovely to finally meet you, Steve speaks about you all the time. You look gorgeous” your cheeks heat up again.

You scan over her outfit, she’s a goddess.

“Thank you so much for having me here and thank you, i love your dress it’s beautiful like you” she waves your compliment off.

“Come in, you thirsty?” she asks and you nod.

She hands you a drink, you smell the contents of the cup before taking a sip. Vodka and Coke. Not your favourite but it’s still nice.

As you and Steve laugh away at a joke he made, you see some people approach the two of you.

“Rogers” 

“Romanoff”

You smile, staring over her dress and the four guys behind her, all dressed up in smart suits.

“Y/N is it? Hi, I’m Natasha. This is Bruce, Thor, Tony and Clint” you nod, holding your hand out to shake it but she declines, bringing you into a hug instead. 

You shake the guy’s hands though and introduce yourself briefly before Natasha pulls you away from them all. 

“I just wanted to get you away from all the testosterone! Those guys can be a lot! By the way can i just say, this dress. Beautiful” you shrug and gesture to her dress as you smile and return the compliment.

“So how are things going with Steve? He never shuts up about you”

“Things are going great. He makes me so happy” you smile again and she beams at you.

“I can tell he’s happy too, the dude is an actual walking love heart. He brings you up into any conversation that he can. Always showing us cute pictures of the two of you so i’m honoured that i finally get to meet you”

“Oh god, i hope they are actually nice photos not just ones he considers nice where i look rough. And yeah i heard you tried to set him up with some girls”

She nods her head.

“Oh i tried, but failed and now he has you so i guess my failings were always meant to be. And don’t worry, they were nice photos”

You giggle, looking back at Steve who’s ogling you from head to toe.

“Put that tongue away lover boy, you have her alone tonight, for now she’s ours” Nat shouts, everyone stares at you. 

You feel so welcomed by everyone here, they are all making an effort to get to know you and you’re learning new things about Steve. Or should you say hearing embarrassing stories.

Tony makes a joke about his thing for language. 

“I remember when i first swore around him, his face dropped as he sighed” they all laugh at you’re addition to the conversation.

This is perfect. You forget all about your previous worries. Everything is going well and you don’t want to leave.

---------------------------------

TAGS: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @princess-evans-addict @badbo1-evans @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @adriannajackson @dummiesshort @cevans-fics 

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

[blue-bird-kny]

Belated Birthday Special!🥳

Only I would be late to my own birthday special lol, BUT my birthday was yesterday and I planned to post this self-indulgent gift with some of my fav characters for both myself and you all so here it is! Please enjoy this little birthday gift (Even if your birthday is far away)!~Amanda

Warning: This one had a bit of everything; Slight NSFW, tons fluff, and a dash of Angst.

(2.2K+ words)

Muichiro:

Your eyes fluttered open, mind still groggy with sleep while the sun's rays peaked passed the horizon outside. Absentmindedly, your fingers crawled to the opposite side of the bed looking for the warmth of your boyfriend. “What the hell..?” the bed was empty on the other side, the sheets already cold. Your brows furrowed as your bleary eyes scanned the room, there was zero trace of your boyfriend. “Muichiro is never up before me…” you muttered before noticing a small piece of parchment paper torn on his bedside table.

‘I’ll be back later’

A dry laugh escaped your lips, “What else was I expecting?” you groaned  “Today will be just like last year” you pushed yourself out of bed dreading the rest of the day.

The day dragged on without a word from your boyfriend. Every once in a while you’d receive a merry “Happy Birthday” from your friends. You appreciated it, but every time you heard those two words your chest tightened a bit more. “He’s forgotten every year so get over it!” you reminded yourself. Three birthdays have passed since you started dating Muichiro and each year was the same. Every year you grew more hopeful, sure that that was going to be the year things would change, but to know avail.

“I’m home” you called as you kicked off your shoes. Off in another room, you could hear the sound of someone frantically moving objects. “Muichiro?” you warily called, inching closer to the noise while gripping the hilt of your blade. Your breath hitched and your eyes welled with tears, “Oh Muichrio”

Muichiro stood awkwardly with his long tresses tied back in a loose bun (a look you adored), clutching a bouquet of daffodils. “Here” he thrust the flowers into your trembling fingers. Suddenly, you wrapped him in a tight embrace. You spent some time tucked into each other, Muichiro rubbing soothing circles into your back. “I thought you forgot” you cried pulling away, you couldn’t help but play with the strands of hair that weren’t pulled back. He smiled guiltily, “I didn’t say anything since I wanted it to be a surprise”

Truthfully, Muichiro felt awful about always forgetting your special day. Once the seasons changed, he reminded himself everyday of your birthday, a constant countdown he never allowed himself to ignore or forget. He was scared; he didn’t want you to give  up on him, but it wasn’t fair that you always had to be the one waiting to see if he remembered something important.

“This is also for you” Muichiro looked away bashfully, handing over a gold box. Carefully, you opened the lid “It’s gorgeous” you marveled, delicately tracing the unique pattern of the sapphire stones. “I’m sorry if I ruined our day by ignoring you, I wanted to make sure I had everything to make things perfect” he faced the floor while he spoke. You brought his face towards your, hovering just by his lips. “Muichiro you could never ruin today, you only make things better” you passionately kissed his smooth lips, ingraining this moment to memory. 

Muichiro isn’t perfect, but there isn’t a single other person you’d want to spend the rest of your life with.

Rengoku:

You sprung out of bed before the sun even breathed its first breath of the day, beaming as you stretched the grogginess away. The snores of your spirited boyfriend rumbled beside you, his slumped form invading the space you once occupied. It took everything in your power to not laugh at Rengoku’s overgrown form sprawled out, his limbs bent in directions that could not possibly be comfortable.

You spent the early hours quietly finishing the house chores; Rengoku had been so busy lately that you’d feel awful waking him up even if it was your birthday. All you wanted was to spend the day alone with your beloved, making up for all the conversations, hugs, and kisses you two had missed with his busy schedule. Just as you finished washing last night's dishes, a pair of muscular arms coiled around your waist, his face buried into the crook of your neck. “Princess why are you up so early?” god his morning voice would be the death of you, “Figured I’d let you sleep a little” you whispered.

Rengoku hummed, the vibration of his voice shaking you to your core. His unruly bedhead tickled your skin as he trailed his nose along the length of your neck, his plush lips ghosting over your skin “Rengoku we haven't even had breakfast” your voice was unsteady, warmth already spreading throughout your body at his small ministrations. “I can think of something I wanna eat” he teased, nipping at your earlobe with just enough pressure to have you holding your breath.

Your body was flipped against the counter, Rengoku wasted no time spreading your legs to nuzzle his thick thigh between them. His eyes were wild, fully aware of the effect he was having on you, it only fueled his lust. “Princess it's your day, let me show you how much I love you” he ground your clothed mound against his thigh, just brushing that special spot inside you. You mewled lightly, your body tensing at the sensation. “Bed or couch?” you asked breathlessly. His chuckled deep, a devilish smirk matching the glint in his eyes as he reached for the hem of your shirt

“Why not both? Beside, I thought we could  start right here”

Inosuke: 

“Why is Y/n out with that tall freak again?” Inosuke grumbled for the third time, pouting childishly on the floor with his arms crossed. “It’s Y/n’s birthday and we are throwing a surprise party” Tanjiro reminded, carrying the cake he had learned to bake from his mother, “Don’t be rude to Uzui-san either, we had to beg him to take Y/n with him on his mission so that we could do all this”.

You’d been gone since yesterday morning and the idea that you’d spent the night near another man made Inosuke’s skin crawl. Clingy wasn’t exactly what you’d call Inosuke, but possessive? When that switch was flipped he became full of jealousy. “Maybe Y/n-chan spent the night wrapped in his huge arms, I’m sure she’d like that for her birthday” Zenistu taunted Inosuke as he put up decorations. “Shut it, Achoo!” Inosuke pelted a rock, hitting the poor boy square in the forehead. “That's not even close to my name” Zenitsu cried, rubbing the sore spot on his face that was sure to swell.

Truthfully Inosuke didn’t know how to handle your birthday; he’s never celebrated one of his own so he was super misinformed on the whole situation. Tanjiro had to explain it to him and still he didn’t know what gift to get you or how to act.

Night had already fallen when you returned home, you stood outside thanking the Hashira, still unaware of the party waiting inside, “Thank you Uzui-san for asking me to come with you, I learned a lot”. Uzui grinned while picking you up high off the ground in a bone crushing hug, “Don’t worry about it Y/n! Your a dear to have around, I’d have to ask you to come along again soon” “I’d be more than welcome to it”

Inosuke, who had refused to go inside with the others for your ‘protection’, jumped at the familiar sound of your voice-- he’d never say it aloud but he missed you. He froze when he spotted you being held by Uzui, fury bubbling up from his stomach. He marched over with his fist clenched, “Oi!” he shouted. You didn’t even notice Inosuke’s hostility as you detach yourself from the big man, jumping straight into Inosuke. Uzui held a knowing smirk, “Don’t worry little piggy, I return her safe and sound” Inosuke narrowed his eyes as he held you to his side. Uzui turned to leave waving his hand as a farewell, “Happy Birthday Y/n!” “Thanks?” you never mentioned it was your birthday.

“Come on Inosuke, let's go inside!” you pulled the stubborn boy along, throwing the door open only to be met with a rowdy group yelling “Surprise!”

The party was phenomenal, the room was filled with so much joy and laugher, something you all desperately needed. Your smile refused to fall from your cheeks, even as you lay in bed “Today was really great” you reminisced, talking to the back that was facing away from you. Inosuke couldn’t shake the image of you with Uzui, damn Zenitsu for opening his stupid mouth. Inosuke turned to face you finally, your eyes drooping from sleep already. Inosuke made a rash decision as he stared at your adorable face, gathering you in his bare arms. “Oh!” you yelped in surprise, Inosuke wasn’t really one to initiate cuddles but you weren’t complaining.

“You’re really comfortable” you breathed into his chest, his natural scent filling your senses. “My arms are a hell of a lot better than those giants” you paused, finally understanding what was going on. “Uzui is a great friend and mentor, but I don’t love anyone more than you. I never could” Inosuke clung onto every whisper of a word, holding you tighter as the seconds passed. You sat up and placed a small peck on the tip on his nose, scooching right back into his warm hold. “Good night Inosuke” you cooed, closing your eyes.

“Happy birthday Y/n”

Shinobu: (Ugh she needs more love)

Believe it or not, Shinobu was big on birthdays, especially yours. She remembers how she loved to celebrate with her sister and the other girls at the Estate, so she wanted the day to go as smoothly as possible. She planned a wonderful picnic in the garden and had even prepared the food for the special occasion.

“I’m ready!” you called gleefully, showing off your gorgeous new lavender sundress Shinobu had gifted you. “I knew purple was your color” Shinobu complimented, admiring the way the dress showed off your curves. “Let’s get going, I’d hate for the day to be a waste. I cleared my schedule just for you, you know” She teased, her hand caressing your flushed cheeks--Oh how she loved that look.

You walked hand in hand, Shinobu carrying the basket of goods while you excitedly rambled on about whatever came to mind. You two barely made it past the Estate gates when a group of medics holding stretchers of wounded soldiers came rushing toward you. Your smile faded as Shinobu’s hand left yours, already giving order to the medics, following them inside. “Shinobu?” you called quietly, “They need my help but I promise this won't be long” she smiled apologetically.

It couldn’t be helped; they needed her more than your silly lunch date did, but who had you forsaken that it had to happen on your birthday of all days. Shoulders slouched, you carried the abandoned basket off the ground, “I’ll just wait in her office, she promised” you wishfully thought.

You bitterly stabbed the fruit in your bowl, the fruit that was meant for your date, and shoved into your mouth. The sun was beginning to set and you still hadn't seen your girlfriend, you’d passed the time by eating the snacks one by one; alone. The commotion of working medics hasn't ceased for hours and slowly you’d lost complete hope of a more exciting day. Your back was beginning to ach from the stiff chair, yet you still waited patiently. Shinobu’s office was filled with piles of paper and books, so there was nothing left to do but stare out the window and eat.

The sound of the door sliding open pulled you from your thoughts, “Awww you didn’t leave me any food?” Shinobu greeted jokingly, sensing your frustration a mile away. You stabbed another piece of fruit, aggressively eating away at the sweet food. “I know you're upset, but I really didn’t mean for this to happen” she defended, feeling miserable about the whole ordeal. You softened, it really wasn’t Shinobu’s fault. “Sorry” you mumbled, staring at the roof. You didn’t bother looking down at the sound of her feet shuffling towards you.

You weren’t expecting to feel Shinobu’s full weight on your lap as she straddled your hips, her hand grasping your chin, pulling you down to face her. “I’m sorry I ruined your birthday, Beautiful,” she soothed, one hand combing through you hair while the other played with your bottom lip, “Please let me make it up to you” her sultry voice rung through your ears, her pink lips making their way across your jawline and down to that spot Shinobu lives to exploit. “Mmmmm” you whined loudly as she started sucking and lapping, working the tender skin till a reddish bruise formed.

The hand embedded in your hair pulled slightly, making sure to run her long nails against your scalp at each tug, eliciting another loud moan from your parted lips. “Shhhh Beautiful, if you're too loud I’ll make you wait till we get to the room later. I can only be so giving”. You knew better than that-then to believe that this would end once you two walked out of those office doors. As if reading your thoughts, Shinobu slid herself down your thighs and onto the floor, never ceasing to make eye contact, “I’ll work you for all you’ve got while we’re here” you bit your lip impatiently as you watched her pull your legs apart by your knees.

Shinobu definitely kept this promise, and gifted you with even more once you two made it the room.

Masterlist

Shinobu may have been a tad OOC but idc, she deserves all the love she wants and I’m willing to give it to her. I hope you all enjoyed it, thank you and stay safe~Amanda

[goldeneyedgirl]

JaliceWeek20 Day 4

Hand in Hand

JaliceWeek20 Day 4: Domestic Bliss

Notes: Another day, another very, very loose interpretation of the theme because I enjoy being contrary. This is kind of a post-script to the Angel/Demon prompt, Afterglow. 1.5 to go! (oh my god, am I actually going to finish every prompt?)

Word Count: 1,554

--

If you had told him back in the Wars that one day he’d be sitting on the porch of an old Victorian in Maine with an actual Angel on his lap, eating a cookie the size of her head and explaining the significance of Dior’s New Look to him from a magazine that he suspects weighs more than she does, well, he would have thought you touched in the head and destroyed you on sight.

Especially if you included the fact that he loved her more than anything in creation - past, present, and future. And she loved him just the same.

But that is exactly how he finds himself on that late summer afternoon.

She looks up at him with a guilty smile. “You don’t care about this at all,” she murmurs, closing her reading material.

He chuckles at her. “Of course I do.”

“No you don’t,” Alice looks down at the magazine, her fingers stroking the cover. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly, and I do care, because you do,” he says, covering her hand with his. “I’m glad you’ve found a passion.” Esme has begun teaching her to sew, to draw up simple patterns, and Alice has been a quick study. Even now, the pretty green dress she’s wearing is one that she sewed herself, complete with daisies embroidered on the hem. He remembers the rank grey rag she was wearing the day he found her. She was beautiful then, too, but this dress, this life, it’s all what she deserves.

He is rewarded with a beaming smile. “Tell me about your day,” she asks, tucking her hair behind her ear. It’s been years since he found her, and whilst her hair has grown somewhat, it has never grown longer than her chin, delicate, shiny little waves he loves to stroke.

It’s been several months since he finally accepted the inevitable and kissed her, admitted he loved her, and let her convince him that the only person who decided the worthiness of the man at her side was her, and she had always thought him plenty worthy of her attentions. The family had reacted as expected when their courtship was revealed - Carlisle had been smug but overjoyed for both of them, and Esme’s delight had filled the room. Edward had been mostly disinterested, though Jasper was sympathetic when he felt the boy’s cold loneliness in a house full of couples. Emmett had high-fived Alice - apparently the man had been privy to Alice’s very patient and tolerant pining, whilst Rosalie shook her head but quietly said something to Alice that made her smile.

Their courtship has been slow - Alice’s memories from before he met her are mostly lost; she still has no idea how she came to be in Philadelphia, who or where her family were, anything that came before. She remembers a few little cultural things from angels - a little of the language that she claims are mostly insults and swears, and a couple of songs - but nothing substantial. Which is to say, any possible love affairs are utterly forgotten, and in her mind, he is her first (and only and true) love, and her very first kiss. And whilst he is, frankly, impatient to get to other ‘firsts’, he lets her set their pace.

They have all the time in the world.

He tells her about school; contemporary mathematics remained illusive when the school year officially ended, so twice a week he goes to the high school to catch up on those classes - with Emmett in tow, just in case. The whole thing is an exercise in futility - one class, and he was already caught up, but the act is important. And he tries not to be too dismissive, when Alice remains locked up tight in the house, too inhuman to be allowed at school just yet when she is so desperate to be apart of the world, to be hand-in-hand with him at every moment of the day.

Her wrist catches his eye, and he pauses in his story to inspect it closer. The celestial tattoos that adorn both her arms from wrist to elbow have settled into a silvery-grey colour, and are adorned with a tangle of flowers and stars and symbols. But one thing he noticed, and she already knew, is that they change - fading and twisting and reforming, to tell a new story. There were columbines dotted over both arms when they first met, but now they are all but gone. Today’s addition is another rose - but whilst the other rose on her arm is a blossom in full bloom, this one is the flower and stem complete with thorns, curved around the blooming rose, the iris, and the carnation.

“Another new one?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to it.

“One I am grateful to receive,” she says mysteriously. She’s never offered an explanation or a translation to the markings, despite blatant hints from Carlisle, but she seems to remember, or at least understand. He knows it’s a proper language, or some kind of map - he figures he might be able to decipher it all if he ever gets a proper peek at the rest of the tattoos - he knows of the ones that sit on her along her collarbone, and run down the length of her spine. He’d very much like to get the opportunity to memorise those ones.

She flits inside not long after, ostensibly searching for food - she had shocked them all with her odd feeding habits when they first arrived, going for days with nothing before eating the entire contents of the fridge in six hours. Her obsession with sugar that once lead to Esme being quite shocked to discover her sitting on the kitchen table, drinking from the honey jar. He thinks it’s adorable, the rest of them think its funny - Emmett almost always has a lollipop or candy bar on hand for her.

He watches the sun sink below the horizon, listening to the hum of voices inside the house, and he thinks back through the years. Back to before the Cullens, before Alice, before Philadelphia. To his misery and loneliness and total lack of purpose. That hollow space has long since been filled - with the love that he shares with Alice, the affection and respect that he has for the Cullens, and for the mental peace hunting animals has brought him. But he doesn’t forget where he came from, how long and hard that road was.

There are the familiar light footsteps as Alice returns, her magazine and cookie both missing, but her lips stained with some kind of berry juice. Her tongue darts out to lick it off as she delicately leaps back into her place in his lap with feline grace and certainty.

“You’re out here all alone,” she says, her arms threading around his neck. Night has begun to settle in, and the weather is comfortable - she notices it more than he does, so he’s become intensely aware of the temperature to make sure she doesn’t get too cold or too wet or too warm. She laughs at him, but he can’t help it. Being able to take care of her like that is a gift he will never be worthy of. “Unless you want to be alone?”

The rest of the Cullens are aware of how… mercurial he can be, and are careful not to crowd him without the certainty they will be welcomed. Alice is more attuned to him, his gift carefully looped around her so that they are always aware of the other, of how they are feeling. Jasper will never admit to anyone but himself, when they are curled together and she is sleeping, that it’s a wonderful feeling, to know and have her like that. But that link is enough for her to know, and Alice never resists just asking him what he wants.

“Never,” he swears, pressing a kiss to her cheek that makes her beam - she smells like the warmth of the kitchen, and fresh fruit, and clean cotton and a million different things. Some are human things that should repulse him, but instead he just revels in the memory of Esme’s joy of baking for someone, and Alice’s delight in each cake and cookie and muffin. “There’s not a single moment I can think of that cannot be improved by your presence, darlin’.”

“Sweet-talker,” she grins, but the slight blush on her cheeks tells him the flattery has done its work. It’s true, though; he looks forward to the times in the future when they will be together more often, when he won’t have to leave her behind every day, but instead go hand-in-hand together.

And as she settles back against him, a familiar warm weight tucked against him with her head on his shoulder with faint strands of sleepiness, contentedness and affection drifting to him, he catches a glimpse of the markings on her collarbone, of a Texas bluebonnet woven around a magnolia, and he really cannot fathom how he manage to deserve this fate - to be allowed to be this peaceful, this happy…

This loved.

And so, he sits there and watches the night pass them by, as his angel sleeps on his shoulder. A good night, a good life indeed.