#god forbid they ask me what my degree is in

[captainderyn]

When people keep asking me what I’ll do immediately post graduation:

[mg549]

why are there no mermaiding groups around me :(

(he literally lives here)

[lillybean730]

im so tired man

[cheriladycl01]

I can’t do this anymore - George Russell x Wolff! Reader Part 1

Plot: You are the daughter of Toto Wolff team principle of Mercedes-AMG Petronius, you’ve worked your whole life to become an Engineer. However, your dad has other ideas for you and doesn’t want you to become a race engineer. You start to confide more in the Red Bull racing Team Principle to help you get an engineering job, and see him as a present father figure.

Credit to russellius for the GIF

“Hey dad! Guess what!” You exclaim to you dad as you walk in to the Mercedes F1 HQ in Brackley.

“What sweetheart I’m a little busy right now” he says pointing out Lewis and George who are with him.

“Well I just got my university grade back! I got a First Class degree!” You exclaim, showing the grade on your phone to him.

“That’s really good darling but it’s not like you’ll need it for anything in life. Surely I provide for you enough” he smiles not fully listening. Lewis sends me a sympathetic nod. Lewis had been your idol in the F1 world, when you first met him you were 11 and he was 27. He basically helped raise you. You were on the road with your dad for most of you life, in between the mechanics tutoring you in maths and science and your mum helping you with English.

You managed to pass all exams at lower levels despite all the constant travelling and proceeded to ask your dad to attend university. Lewis was like your older brother, you were the first person he would always hug when he won a race. He’d take you out for dinner and make sure you ate well and he would buy you little gifts. You’d both constantly joke about how you’d become his engineer one day but little did you know that he wanted that as a reality so badly. You were and always would be his number one girl.

“But dad” you asked and he turned to look at you, and brushed you off once again. You walked out back to your apartment a little sad with your father.

This continued for the next few months, whenever you spoke to him about getting a job as a Data Analyst or a Car Designer or god forbid an engineer he quickly steered the conversation away and it was starting to frustrate you.

“I can’t do this anymore” you said to yourself sadly.

So when it came to the last race of the season, you made your way over to the RedBull garage. Looking around.

“Y/N Wolff, you can’t be in here” a voice smirks, you head turns to see the Mexican driver for RedBull, Checo.

“Erm, hi. I’ve actually come to see Christian” you admit, looking down shyly. This is when more people join the conversation, Kelly and Max have joined both looking intrigued as to why I’m in the garage of the enemy.

They observed you, you were still in your Mercedes stop which was white and made you stand out in the see of dark blue and red of the Red Bull colours. Max couldn’t put his finger on why the hell Toto Wolff their biggest competitor had sent his daughter to their garage. Or maybe they hadn’t sent her, was she here of her own accord?

“Not here to steal our data are you?” He asks, looking at you with a smirk.

You rock back and forth on your heels, a little uncomfortable with the situation you had put yourself into. Why didn’t you just message him, or not walk in in your Mercedes gear…

“No i actually have to see Christian” you say, and after cocking his head Max nods and directs you to where Christian is.

“Ahh Mini Wolff, what can I do for you?” Christian asks as you enter his office, Max left after shutting the door for the both of you, you’d kind of hoped he would stick around as a sort of buffer. But you knew Max was a busy man with a race to prepare for.

“I got my engineering degree in September, I want to work for you” you say bluntly. You take a seat at the other chair opposite him, grabbing the hair tie around your wrist slinging your hair back, trying to show how serious your facial expression was and that you weren’t here on a mere joke from your father.

“Excuse me?” He asks with a confused smile on his face.

“I want to work for RedBull, I know this is odd because your are Christian Horner Team Principle of Red Bull Racing and your probably sat there thinking why the hell is this Mercedes golden girl, here asking ME for a job of all thing. Well it’s actually a really funny story that starts like way way back in the day-“ you started by Christian coughs a little before interrupting.

“You’re rambling, just get to the point”

“I literally did, I said I want to work for you, and you said excuse me I thought that was you asking for a further explanation” you admit a shocked look coming onto your face, your eyebrow raised and head cocked to one side.

“Why don’t you go to your dad for a job? I’m almost positive he’d love to have you work on his team with him. You know pass the principle legacy onto you…” He asked.

“Well I tried but-“

“Are you telling me little Missy that you came to me as second choice” he exclaims and again your cheeks flush and eyes widen impossibly further.

“N-no it’s just that I have this degree and he won’t let me use it for anything and I want to be useful at something in life Yano? I love engineering and I’d love to help the current Constructors Champions out” you explain.

“Well you Little Wolff are in luck, Max’s race engineer leaves on Paternity leave soon, so we need a fill in. Then you can help with the car for next year? How’s that?”

“Are you serious?”

“Well how about we test the waters with your communication on Thursday with Max, then do a test drive on Friday with you. If it’s exceptionally shit, well we will figure something out. But I have faith in you!” He smiles, and stands up coming around the large white desk to meet you face to face, his Han chording out as to shake.

You take his hand, keeping eye contact with him, excited that you will finally be able to work.

“Oh also you’ll be needed in our uniform by Thursday I’ll put an express order out and have it sent to the hotel in Mexico for next week how’s that?” He queries tapping away on his phone rattling of stuff to his private assistant that they would need to cater for you on the next race weekend.

“Hmm, it’s Sunday today so, we’ll announce on Friday that you’ll be working with us for the remainder of the season. Hopefully that will stir up enough to get people riled up before the race” Christian gloats, his mind probably swimming with all the drama and news articles that would be floating around the paddock in a weeks time.

“I’m sure it will, especially my dad” you grunt.

“Thank you for the opportunity. I promise I won’t mess it up” you say and he nods you out of the exit, Max, Kelly and Sergio are all there waiting trying to look as if they hadn’t been snooping in on your conversation.

You gave a nod of understanding to them before exiting the garage trying to subtly make your way back to Mercedes without being noticed by anyone. However your luck wasn’t very good as none other than George, Charles, Alex and Lando rounded the corner.

“Y\N what are you doing coming out of the Red Bull garage” George questions, a confused look on his puppy dog face.

“Erm, I’m in a rush” you say before slipping past them, he goes to follow you but Lando stops him, nodding over to Max, Dani and Sergio that are all looking in their direction with smirks on their faces.

“What happened there then?” Charles asked confused.

“Why the hell was she in that garage, and alone?” George questions more to himself.

“Maybe she has a thing with one of the engineers?” Alex shrugged, easiest explanation to him.

“Surely not” George says a roughness to his voice after hearing that , that the others had failed to notice.

“Let’s go ask Max” Lando advises, starting to walk over.

[marlenesluv]

Rule Breaker (CS)

summary: charles has one rule for you, don’t date his teammate. he doesn’t want his little sister infringing, but both you and carlos can’t help falling for each other. so what harm does a little soft launch do? well, a failed soft launch. (side note: carlos watches game of thrones and i love game of thrones, so there’s some content like that in here as well.)

type: smau + dialogue

pairing: carlos sainz x leclerc!fem!reader (7 yr age gap. reader is 22, carlos is 29.)

warnings: cussing

fc: anaïs (_ssiana on insta)

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

Being the youngest Leclerc sibling came with its benefits. Like being able to watch your brothers race, meeting lovely fans, having your own amazing fans, and getting to travel across the world. Opportunities were endless for you. Magazines wanted photo shoots, people wanted interviews, you were lucky really.

The only con? Having to look at Carlos Sainz Jr. every day, and not be able to do anything about your crush.

When Carlos joined Charles in Ferrari in 2021, Charles made a point to forbid you from dating him, just like Arthur did with his friends. Which you figured was fine, until you met Carlos.

He was such a gentleman, pulling your chair out for you, getting you a drink when you wanted one, making sure you were comfortable in the paddock, and making sure your headphones felt good before races.

Carlos experienced something very similar. Charles took him aside an hour before he was to meet you, and told him that you were off limits. He didn’t want a relationship with his younger sister to ruin such a good team, god forbid the relationship be messy and end horribly.

But lucky for you and Carlos, your relationship was perfect. No one knew, and you intended to keep it that way. That was until you were spotted together at dinner after his win in Singapore. People couldn’t fathom what was going on. The ‘young, innocent, law degree leclerc’ dating Carlos Sainz? Her brothers teammate??

Arthur had his suspicions. The way that you were on your phone at family dinners, smiling and blushing, was enough of a sign for him. Charles, oblivious as always, had no idea. And Arthur wasn’t a snitch, you got yourself in this, you could deal with Charles on your own.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After about three months of privately dating, that article came out. So, you both decided to soft launch your relationship. Surely Charles couldn’t be all that mad. Carlos knew from the first time he met you, that he wanted to spend his life with you. Cliché? Sure. But your demeanor, sarcasm, kindness, and the way you held yourself was enough to make him want to drop to his knees.

“Do you think I should post this?” you asked Carlos, showing him a picture of the two of you, but not noticeably him.

“Yeah, you can’t even tell it’s me.” Carlos looked at you, head on his chest so he could see your phone.

Post-sex cuddles were very important, you even said ‘I need them to survive. Don’t laugh at me!’ They were intimate, yet sweet and calming.

“Okay. I’m gonna post it with these other two…” you typed a caption and posted it, groaning in Carlos’ sheets as he laughed, running his fingers through your hair.

“It’ll be okay, amor.” he kissed your temple, both of you falling back to your cuddles as you drifted to sleep as your post got attention.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: charles_leclerc, carla.brocker, and 576,024 others

y/n_leclerc: nom nom

view comments…

charles_leclerc: who is that in the second photo, y/n?

↳ y/n_leclerc: what second photo?

↳ charles_leclerc: don’t gaslight me

f1updates: she slays, again, as always

lilymhe: prettiest girl ever

↳ y/n_leclerc: that’s you tho??

user6: who tfffff is that man?!?!

y/n.fan624: is that like…her new bf? you mean to tell me….i don’t have a chance anymore???

↳ y/nseditfan7; i don’t think any of us ever had a chance :/

cs55edits: that looks like the sainz vacation home, no?

↳ user2: oh my gosh.

yourbsf: pizza looks so good (so do you)

↳ y/n_leclerc: it was so good (thx, you always look good)

user7: you guys smell that? its a soft launch

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Soft launching was a good idea, in theory. You both thought it was the perfect way to announce your relationship, but not with Charles calling you every ten minutes and blowing up your messages to find out who the guy was in your photo on Instagram.

You sighed as your phone started ringing for the eighth time during this Game of Thrones episode. You and Carlos sat by each other, watching your show. Game of Thrones time, was your guys’ time to disconnect, not be on your phones, and enjoy the show and each other. Not a time to deal with a protective older brother.

Looking down at your phone, you saw the picture of you and Charles as he called again, “I should probably just answer. He’s not gonna stop until I answer.” Carlos got up, gave you a kiss and started walking to the kitchen, “Answer him, hermosa. I’ll go get more wine.” As Carlos went to the kitchen, your thumb hit the ‘accept’ button and you put your phone up to your ear.

“Pourquoi ne m'as-tu pas répondu ? Je pensais que tu étais mort ou quelque chose comme ça ! Qu'est-ce que c'est, y/n ?!”(why have you not been answering me? i thought you died or something! what the hell, y/n?!) Charles was shouting through the phone, you could tell he was worried and pissed at the same time.

“Je suis désolé, Charles. J'étais occupé. What’s up?” (i’m sorry, charles. i was busy.)

Charles sighed on the other side of the phone as he sat down at his barstool in his kitchen, “Please, just tell me who this guy is. I wont get mad, I swear. I don’t even care who it is, I just want to make sure he’s a good guy.”

Carlos made eye contact with you as he sat down beside you, whispering “If you want to tell him, you can, amor.” You nodded, taking a deep breath, “Carlos.” You said. One word. One name that brought fear through Charles. Carlos?! His teammate.

“What do you mean ‘Carlos’?” Charles asked, his voice suddenly too calm. “Carlos….I’m dating Carlos.” you stared at Carlos as he went wide eyed, Charles silent on the other line.

“Charles? Are you there?” you heard shuffling, Carlos handing you your wine as Charles cleared his throat.

“Okay. Um…alright. I gotta go, Y/N. Love you.” Charles hung up, leaving you staring at the glass in your hands.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Carlos asked you, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “He didn’t really say anything when I told him. Just ‘Okay, alright, I gotta go, Love you.’ and then hung up.”

Carlos sucked his lips in, placing his hand on your neck, making you lean into his touch. You fell back into his sofa, clinging to his side, Carlos turning Game of Thrones back on and pulling the blanket over you two.

He wasn’t sure what it would take to convince Charles that this wasn’t a fling. But he would try everything.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n_leclerc, landonorris, and 834,231 others

carlossainz55: I’m not very good at soft launches, anyway

view comments…

y/n_leclerc: no, no you are not, mon amour

↳ carlossainz55: oops 💗

chili55: y/n: “let’s soft launch!” carlos: “how about no.”

y/neditsss551: WOAAHHHHHH

landonorris: mom and dad

↳ y/n_leclerc: landoooo

char16car55: where’s charles😭

↳ f1fan: look around everybody on mute 🤫🤐

carlando554fp: my fav leclerc😪 she’s so prettyyyy

user4: AWOOGA I LOVE THE LECLERCS

arthur_leclerc: nice to see my suspicions have been confirmed

↳ charles_leclerc: you had suspicions?

↳ lorenzotl: um..what’s going on

user8: leclerc brothers protective and confused mode LOL

f1wags: ooooo new wag, yet one we already know we all love and adore

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After Carlos’ post, you freaked out. Of course, he asked you first, and double checked, and triple checked. You wanted everyone to know that you guys were dating. The only worry was ‘what would Charles do/think’?

Both of you had talked to Charles since the call a few days ago. Charles asked Carlos when he wanted to train again, and Charles checked on you everyday.

Arthur didn’t care. He was worried, at first. He thought maybe Carlos wouldn’t treat you like a princess, like you deserved to be treated. Carla told Arthur that you couldn’t have a better boyfriend.

When Carlos posted, Carla called you immediately, asking for details. Like when you started dating, the first date, did Charles know? And you trusted Carla with your life. The girl knew how to listen, too.

Lorenzo wasn’t too bothered. He knew Carlos, knew he was a good guy, and accepted it fairly fast. He also wanted you to be treated well, it’s what you deserved.

Charles wanted the same thing. He looked out for you the most. The guys you dated had to pass a test in Charles’ books. They needed to be kind, funny, honest, loyal, a gentleman, a family guy, good goals, and they needed to love you. And Charles ticked all of those off when he saw that post. He knew Carlos more than a lot of people.

Carlos was kind, loyal, and honest. He never lied to Charles, never broke a promise, and was kind to everyone. The man was also quite funny. He knew he could be a gentleman, he saw him with his last girlfriend three years ago. Carlos was a huge family guy, and had good goals. And obviously, he loved you. Charles decided he had no reason to be mad. You two were in love, and he needed to accept that.

When you called him, you were nervous. Carlos had went out for his morning run, which you usually joined him on. But you wanted to talk to Charles. It only rang three times before he picked up.

“Hello?” your brother groggy voice came through your phone speaker, which was sat on the counter as you made coffee.

“Hey. Can you talk for a minute?” stirring your coffee, you picked up your phone to hold in one hand.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Are you mad at me? For dating Carlos? Because we aren’t breaking up if you are. You’re just going to have to deal with it! Charles, I love him more than anyone-“ Charles cut off your rambling.

“Y/N, stop. I’m not mad. Its okay.” he sat up in his bed, looking at the time- 5am? You called him at 5am? “Wait, it’s 5am. Why are you even up??”

“Oh, Carlos and I have been getting up every morning at 4:30am to run and workout together.” you took a sip of your coffee, “I skipped today to call you, through.”

“Wow. He’s already rubbing off his good habits.” Charles smiled, happy that you were happy.

“Yeah…you’re okay with this, though?” you asked, setting your cup down.

“Of course. I’m sorry about the other day. I was just startled.” he apologized, he really did feel bad. He didn’t intend to be rude and freak you out.

“It’s okay. Thank you for being okay with this. I’ll let you go back to sleep.”

“Great, I need my eight hours. Night, Y/N,” Charles yawned, making you laugh a bit. “Night? Love you.” Charles muttered an ‘I love you’ back and hung up.

No need to worry about that anymore, you thought. Carlos walking in the front door, and by your smile, he didn’t even need to ask. Charles obviously didn’t mind.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 593,204 others

y/n_leclerc: my game of thrones watching buddy <3

view comments…

carlossainz55: hold the door

↳ y/n_leclerc: hodor :(

user3: oooo its official guys, the carlos bf content is here

charles_leclerc: didnt need to see this

↳ arthur_leclerc: did any of us?

↳ lorenzotl: no.

↳ y/n_leclerc: you guys are soo dramatic. shut up

lilymhe: awww you guys are adorableee

↳ y/n_leclerc: me when i see you and alex

f1wags: carlos is boyfriending so hard

landonorris: WHIPPED

↳ carlossainz55: have you seen her? had a conversation with her? of course i’m whipped

↳ y/n_leclerc: 🥹🫠

ferraribabe: the way he’s so sweet stopppp

yourbsf: holy shitttt, you guys are THE couple

*liked by creator*

user8: wowowowow too cute

formula1updates: new favorite couple - unlocked

user1: a couple that watches game of thrones together, stays together

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: carlossainz55, danielricciardo, and 601,138 others

y/n_leclerc: muy guapo, papi🖤🤍

view comments…

user3: PAPI???? Y/N PLS

carlossainz55: she’ll never know guys, shhhhh

↳ charles_leclerc: but i do

↳ carlossainz55: it was a joke…

↳ charles_leclerc: i’m pushing you off the track this weekend.

f1wags: they way they look at each other🥹 (THE CAPTION????)

user5: oh…ok!

arthur_leclerc: cant wait to hit a spaniard this weekend

↳ carlossainz55: dios mío. cállate

↳ lorenzotl: we know spanish, carlos

↳ y/n_leclerc: i hate my family sometimes (not mom tho)

↳ leclerc_pascale: ❤️

leclercsfp16: my fav family

y/n.editingggg: adorbssss but girl the caption??

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your instagram story:

seen by: carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes, and 578,014 others

seen by: carlossainz55, lorenzotl, and 532,103 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 1,238,014 others

carlossainz55: “you are the moon of my life” ❤️

view comments…

y/n_leclerc: did you j khal drogo quote drop

↳ carlossainz55: i thought it would be cute :(

↳ y/n_leclerc: it was so cute <3

↳ carlossainz55: :))

f1ygotedits: my two favs: carlos and got 😋

user5: the way they make me want to sob bec they’re so cute

verstoppan1fp: their pics >

vroom34: my fav game of thrones lovers

thenightwatch99: the way he khal drogo quoted

user3: mama y papa 😪👏

f1editpage: can’t wait to see her with carlos merch

↳ char16pg: charles is gonna be mad lollll

formula1page33: they’re soo cute🥹🥹🥹🥹

charles_leclerc: cant believe im the only single sibling now

↳ arthur_leclerc: i can

↳ charles_leclerc: 😦

user8: awwww the cutest shut upppp

y/nandcarlosfp55: ARG SO CUTE

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your instagram story:

seen by: carlossainz55, landonorris, and 548,024 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 929,820 others

carlossainz55: i took an amazing, photographer photo of her, and she took this monstrosity one of me??

view comments…

y/n_leclerc: no, amor. you look so handsome

↳ pierregasly: why are you lying to him?

↳ carlossainz55: you are a dick, pierre

↳ pierregasly: 🫨good one

user3: LOL I LOVE THIS

f1wags: our fav wag photographer!!

formula1wc: carlos is turning his instagram in to a y/n fan account

chilipepper55: michael phelps WHO⁉️we only know our olympic swimmer carlos the mermaid sainz!!!

carmenmmundt: y/n looks so elegant

↳ carlossainz55: and me?

↳ carmenmmundt: 😬

landonorris: bro rly said 🧜‍♂️😟

user1: merm-couple

f1memes: the third pic is so cute. HELLO?!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[bloodyselfshipping]

(Hetalia Main 8 x Reader) How they talk about you!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~

Most people around Alfred would probably not realize you two are romantically involved. The way he talks about you is less like a partner and more like a best friend.

But that said, everyone would know who you are. It’s immediately obvious how close your relationship is. He seems to know everything about you.

He won’t bring you up constantly, but your presence is around him in some way.

“Who are you texting during the meeting?!” “Oh, Y/N! Right now they’re-”

“Who are you inviting?” “Y/N! I really think they’d have fun coming along-”

“Are you free tonight?” “Mm, sorry dude. I’m with Y/N tonight, just like last night, and the night before we-”

But if anyone asks, he loves talking about you. You make everything more fun, so even thinking about you makes him feel so much better!

He doesn’t bring you up much, but when he does it’s so obvious how much he loves you. Always looking in the distance longingly…

Doesn’t share a lot of personal details, probably doesn’t even mention your name. He always calls you nicknames or just “my lover.”

Arthur prefers to keep you his little secret.

“Ah, I have to go. I have an engagement with… someone special.”

So it's usually very stilted and formal, but not because of a lack of affection. He thinks that PDA and gushing about romance in public is tactless, so he refrains.

You’re like royalty to him so he always makes sure to make his respect more apparent than anything. No one is more special to him than you <3

The second most normal out of any of them. Although he always refers to you very romantically, that isn’t very out of line for how he normally is.

It seems as if he sees you as perfect, above others in every way. He always praises you and everything you do, to an absolutely absurd degree.

Always has very specific things he calls you in front of others.

“Ah, this reminds me of my S/O. They are like poetry in motion…”

“Every day I am inspired by Y/N, even the most impressive works of art are nothing compared to them.”

“My eternal love, they are calling to me… I must go!”  “Just say you wanna get outta here!”

He can’t help but gush about how perfect you are. He would say you are nothing less than soulmates.

Yao is a very traditional man. From the start of your relationship, he’s always referred to you as if you were married.

Sometimes he’ll refer to you like those old men who hate their wives, but only because he doesn’t realize the full implications.

“”Aiyaa! Have to go tend to the ball and chain, see you later!”

Except when he says that, he means it affectionately. By “tending to the old ball and chain” he means laying his head in your lap for two hours and telling you about how stupid his friends are.

He’d love nothing more than to just talk to you and you alone, he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks of you two.

Ivan CANNOT stop talking about you! Seriously, everyone is very annoyed by it. But he just can’t hold himself back, he needs everyone to know about how much he loves you.

Anytime anyone brings up something that reminds him of you, he has to go on a whole tangent. God forbid someone brings up an interest of yours, then it goes on forever.

They probably won’t even know your name because he just always uses some adorable pet name for you (:

When he misses you, it’s even worse. Anything just immediately results in,

“My darling used to call me that…” “Because it’s your name!”

If he could, he would bring you everywhere with him. So, he’ll do so in his own way (: (telling everyone who breathes in his direction about you)

Everyone is immediately aware of your existence. He LOVES bringing you up at every opportunity. All his friends need to know about his lovely S/O right now!!!

Definitely tries to show you off.

“You know whose really attractive? My S/O! Look, see!!!”

“I just thought of something funny, one time Y/N did that! But like, they were super hot!”

“Cuore mio, everyone should see how wonderful you are. Don’t be embarrassed!”

When he gets drunk, he can’t help but talk anyone’s ear off about you. About how much you mean to him, about how proud he is of you, a lot of other stuff that seems way too sentimental for an easy-going guy like him.

Often ends up bursting into rooms just to bring news of you. He gets so emotional it can become unbearable for those around him.

He can’t imagine his life without you, and everything is just a reminder of that fact. Feliciano loves you more than anything!

Ludwig wouldn’t not talk about you… but he wouldn’t go out of his way to do so. Not because he’s embarrassed of you, but because he’s embarrassed of how much he’s in love with you!

You make him so soft… and the thoughts of you are constantly distracting him! His darling (you) lives in his head rent-free, damn you!

“Oi Germany, is that a person on your lock-screen?” “N-No! Well… it’s my S/O… don’t make it into a situation!”

He thinks very highly of you, and trusts your judgment completely. Talking to you helps him think out his problems. That fact is so obvious that a lot of times, his friends will call you up for him when he’s panicking.

Not a fan of pet names, and can seem cold about your relationship in public. But don’t let that fool you, he doesn’t want to go a day without you!

Very casual about you. You’re his partner, you matter a lot to him, and he’s not embarrassed about it. 

But he does use his experiences with you to help him relate to others, so you get brought up quite a lot with his friends. When he’s having trouble socially, he tries to remember everything you’ve ever told him and repeat it.

“My S/O had something similar happen to them. May I consult them on this?”

“This reminds me of something that Y/N said to me last week. Shouldn’t we just put the past behind us? They said it’s no good to dwell on these things.”

“Hm… maybe we should just go home and rest before making a decision. Besides, I want to talk to Y/N about this.” “Are you sure you don’t just miss them?” “That is a possibility.”

He acts as if you two are married, but just because you have become so important to him so quickly. You make his life so much better and easier, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[mae-gi-writes]

everything that i'll never be | kim mingyu . seventeen

You'll never be his first and that bothers you, that she had his heart before you ever did.

genre: angst, relationship problems, insecure! reader. Mentions of self-harm.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

She's so much better than you. In so many ways.

There's no way you can compete. You're not even competition to her. Come on, it's almost as if trying to compare a Ferrari to a stupidly tiny honda that would break down whenever it had to breach the motorway.

This is how envious you are of the girl that once had your boyfriend's heart.

And you hate yourself for it, because every argument that arises is because of that sole reason; you can't stand the thought of her having him first. You can't stand the thought that Mingyu had the opportunity, all his firsts, with a girl that was someone other than you.

Which is why the words suddenly fly out of your mouth one day without warning.

"How was she like? Your ex?"

The words sound raw and painful, even coming from your mouth. You hate it. You hate yourself the most at this particular moment. Even more so when Mingyu stops in mid-action and blinks at you like you've just told him you'd committed a first-degree murder.

It's not that it's surprising. It's just that-- more so -- it's been six years. Six years already, and you still haven't gotten over it. So there is, ultimately, a problem. With you.

Mingyu lowers the knife he's been using to chop the carrots into tiny thin slices. He suggested bringing duck to your annual family dinner this Christmas, which you thought was a good idea, until you realized the amount of preparation that came along with it.

So here you are, on a beautiful 24th December night with the snow falling like soft petals along the sky line, making sure that the duck that you've put into the oven a few minutes ago isn't roasting itself to death.

"Why are you asking now?" is Mingyu's question.

You shrug half-heartedly in an attempt to show him that it isn't that much of a big deal whether he answers your question or not. Though it is, as you keep your eyes trailed on the timer on your phone, "I had a nightmare," you admit.

"About?" his eyebrow raises a fraction, body stilling to await your answer.

You struggle to find something coherent, put together, that doesn't sound so lame once you say it out loud because god forbid it is the most childish thing to think of when it's been six years of your relationship.

And yet, she's still the gap, that empty space, that lingers between the two of you like the unsaid corpse filling the room.

"About you," you pause, "and her."

Mingyu lets out a soft breath, "Y/N, we can't be having this conversation six years down the line. I love you, and I'm with you--"

"I know that." he doesn't have to talk to you like you're a child.

"Then why are you still on about her when clearly you're the one I've chosen to be with for the rest of my life?" the hurt in his voice is real and it makes your heart ache with guilt. You shouldn't have asked him anything in the first place. You know, more than anyone, that Mingyu would steal the moon for you had you asked for it. It's undoubtable, the love that he bears for you, the way his eyes find yours across the room like you're the sun that makes his earth rotate.

He continues now, pent-up frustration laced in his alto. Almost like he's about to cry, "it hurts me too, to hear you talk about her over and over again. It gets tiring after a while, Y/N. I'm tired of it, honestly."

"Alright," tears prick at your eyelids but you refuse to blink, gaze permanently latched onto the oven as you fight against the flood of emotion building in the pit of your stomach, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you anything, but--"

"it's not doing you any good either. So why do you do this to yourself? What triggered it?" he's on a roll now, not caring what you have scrambled for an answer, the need to hear your reason a priority in comparison to the millions of excuses you have stacked up against your tongue, "because this isn't about just the nightmare, is it? You've mentioned her at least once during these two weeks and I--I'm tired of it, Y/N. I don't want to keep going through that. She's a part of my past and yes, we were in love once. But I don't love her anymore. You're the one I chose to be with," he holds up the peeler and the carrot in evidence, "isn't that exactly what I'm doing right now? Why do you have to ruin this for us?"

"I--" his speech hits you like a truck. You hadn't expected Mingyu to just spit out his feelings without filter or remorse, which makes it even worse as you try to struggle and comprehend what his words mean exactly. The ache in your chest grows. For a moment, you can't breath, the soft pants stinging the back of your throat as it burns with effort of restraining tears.

You swallow thickly, harsh gulps of air that makes you shudder. Finally, you manage to whisper out a soft, "I'm sorry, Mingyu. I shouldn't-- I shouldn't have bought this up. You're right. I'm just--I'm just a walking time bomb and I'm pathetic--" you shake your head, the tears now spilling down your cheeks as you bite down onto your lower lip. You catch sight of Mingyu's stance faltering ever so slightly, but you move back, as if the physical distance might help you keep your broken heart in check, '--I'm really sorry, Mingyu."

You don't wait for him to answer before you're swiveling on your feet and dashing through the open doorway of your bathroom. It's not much, but it's enough physical space for you to lock the door and slide down onto the floor.

You let the sobs take over, your shoulders hunching over your knees as you start crying. Once you do, you can't stop. You can't.

Because the truth is, you're scared.

You're scared that you'll never be enough for Mingyu and that -- whatever happened in the ktichen -- is the exact proof of that. You're not her. She's --gentle and kind and just agrees to everything that Mingyu ays without putting up a fight. And they made a cute couple, and she's prettier. Prettier than you'll ever be and you wonder what Mingyu even saw in you in the first place.

And she's his first. Will always be his first. Something that you'll never be, no matter how hard you try.

You're so focused on feeling your body shatter with tears and pain and guilt from the past that you don't hear Mingyu's voice until he starts knocking against the door.

"Please," he murmurs, "can we just talk?"

"I'm fine," you blubber out, "please just leave me alone. I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Y/N, I didn't mean to hurt you, what I meant was--"

"I know already, Mingyu. Just stop." you sniffle and wipe your snot with the back of your hand, "I got it. It's me. I'm the problem. I'll always be the problem."

"That's not what I said, don't put words in my mouth--"

"Just leave me alone." And as if that might help, you whisper, "please." So he does. you hear his footsteps retract after a few beats of agonizing silence, and when he does walk away, you slump back into a small puddle of broken pieces of your heart as you try to hold it all together.

But it's not a memory that you can erase with just a few beers or some good sleep. It's a stain that will last forever, and you're not quite sure how you'll deal with that.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"Hey Y/N?"

Your head rises from the slump of your arms. You're not quite sure how long you've been in the bathroom.

Mingyu knocks. You let out a sigh, but don't say anything. Nothing feels right at the moment, no words can seem to fill the empty, now awkward space between you and Mingyu.

"Y/N, I can leave you alone if you want," he pauses, "but...do you mind if I use the bathroom? I kinda...need to pee."

Fuck. Of course. Just when you're about to lose your mind and go on an existential crisis.

You unlock the bathroom after a beat of silence, not even bothering to look up at his face as you sidestep your boyfriend and make your way to the couch. You plop down onto it, hearing the sound of the door shut close as you find your usual navy blanket. It's warm and comforting, wrapping you up in its warmth as the toilet flushes, Mingyu's coughs reaching the living room area. The scent of roasted duck fills the room and you sniff appreciatively. Despite it all, it seems that the food has survived, a proof that no matter how much humans may suffer, they could still go about and do their things right.

"Y/N."

You jump slightly, turning your head in his direction but allowing your eyes to stray along his shirt. The silence answers in your stead.

"How are you feeling?"

You shrug once more. How are you even supposed to feel?

It's a weird contortion of things that make you want to hurl the living room chair at the tv and one that makes you want to curl up in bed and cry and cry and cry.

The couch dips under Mingyu's weight once he joins you on the couch. Still, you don't look at him, rather deciding that picking on your nails is a better option.

"Y/N," he says once more, before his big hand is reaching for yours and stopping your actions with a gentle grip, "don't do that. You're going to hurt yourself."

"That's the whole point," you mutter to yourself, though it's not quiet enough that he doesn't pick on it.

He squeezes your hand in response, "we talked about this before, didn't we? The nervous hand-picking."

"Can you just--" your voice raises, as if in a holler, only to die mid-way up your throat. You slump against the couch. You're tired and overwhelmed, and it shows.

The silence seems to stretch out before you, with only the slow hum of the fridge keeping you company as you keep on staring at the blank tv screen. How have you come to this? How are you fighting about someone that isn't even in the picture anymore?

Ah yes, because you decided to re-open that door and let yourself wonder, picture, your boyfriend with the likes of her when you know it's only going to induce more pain.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, or how to feel,” Mingyu starts, his voice shattering the silence like glass. “But just so that you know, every time you talk about this — about her — it hurts me too, because she’s not my present and I’m not in love with her, not anymore. You talking about it makes me uncomfortable,” he peers over at your face, “do you understand that, Y/N?” He says it gently, all his words without bite.

“Then maybe if you had just talked it through with me without avoiding my questions all the time, maybe we wouldn’t be here,” you shoot back, “maybe you like to take the easy way out a little too much.”

“I did give you the chance to talk about it. Remember that night when I told you to ask me anything about her that you wanted to know about?”

Another onset of tears builds at the back of your throat. Why is he doing this to you? What have you ever done to deserve this?

You turn away from him almost instinctively. This time, Mingyu lets you do your thing, not even bothering to try and call your name and honestly, you don’t mind. You need some space to cry it out and be with yourself for a little while.

There’s so much you want to tell him: why did he even break up with her in the first place? Why did he choose you instead? Would things have been different if you hadn’t told him of your feelings?

Would you have been happier right now, if you’d never been together?

ʚ♡ɞ˚

It’s been a few days and you feel like a corpse.

Your life is a walking nightmare, your mind plagued by nothing but the pain of realizing you’re a second option to your boyfriend. You wish that he could walk in your shoes, only to get a glimpse of what’s going on inside your head. In any case, life feels dull and void of colour in contrast to the lights blazing across the streets to celebrate the new year’s coming up.

Mingyu doesn’t offer to talk it through and you take it as his way of telling you he’s not interested in your bullshit. So wrapping yourself up in your thickest blanket, you barely leave the flat on the days to come, if only for groceries. After all, you don’t see the point when your world is crumbling.

It’s on a Wednesday afternoon that Mingyu sends you a text while he’s at work. You receive it in mid-workout, frowning slightly as the message pops up on the screen.

Mingyu: do you have time this afternoon? Can we talk?

You type back your reply with a mere “yes” before resuming your squats with even more conviction. You decide that you have to brace yourself for anything that might happen, considering that you really did fuck up this time.

Will your heart be able to take it if he tells you to break it off?

All thoughts and memories of what would be your wedding, the concepts you’d conjured, the white dress that you’d fantasized over. All those things seem awash with the pain of knowing that maybe this won’t become a reality.

That hurts.

The afternoon crawls by at a snail’s pace and you spend it lumbering back and forth across the hallway as your brain tricks you into concocting all possible scenarios that might unfold; you and Mingyu breaking up is at the forefront of your mind, no matter how much you try to steer yourself away from it.

The door creaks open to signal Mingyu’s arrival. You freeze, fingers finding purchase onto your shirt as you grip its corners, panic suddenly overwhelming your senses.

He’s here, and he hasn’t greeted you yet.

You’re not sure how your heart will take it.

“Y/N?”

The scuff of his boots squeak against the silence of the corridor as he pulls them off. Small a small gesture, which holds so much meaning once you realize you might never hear it again.

You force out a reply, “yes?”

A few moments later, your boyfriend appears looking disheveled and, to your surprise, holding a bouquet of roses.

“Sorry if they’re a bit wimpy,” he says sheepishly while handing the flowers over, and you hope he hasn’t taken note of how your hands are trembling, “I was late to pick them up from the florist’s.”

Tears burned at the corners of your eyes. You looked up at him, eyelashes glimmering as your vision slowly blurred, “why?” You murmured.

“Because,” he shrugs then, a small gentle smile making its way to his face, “I know you’ve been going through a rough patch, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken care of.”

You couldn’t help it.

You burst into tears.

And Mingyu holds on to you as you sob and soband keep on sobbing. All the pain, the fear of losing him, the thought of never being enough… all of these mesh into you and cras through your body in waves that rocks your entire ecosystem. Mingyu is there through it all, murmuring soft encouraging words as he rocks you back and forth against his chest.

The crying stops at some point, leaving you numb and tired, a slumped figure that leans against your boyfriend while he’s gently pawing away at the caked tears along your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur out, breaths shaking from emotion.

But Mingyu shakes his head, “it’s okay.”

“It’s not—okay, and I shouldn’t have acted this way,” you whisper out, “and I’m sorry if I keep pestering you about her but the truth is, I’m scared I might never be enough for you, Mingyu, because I’m not. You—You deserve everything.”

Mingyu stays silent, still brushing the tears away as you wait for his answer. He finally turns you to him, holds you close in his lap so that there’s no chance of escape even if you wanted to.

In his dark eyes tou see your reflection; a disheveled maniac looking like she’s been haunted for days.

Mingyu probably thinks so too.

“I understand,” he starts off softly, “how hard it is for you to imagine me with other people, it sucks. And it’s not great, especially when you know these people.”

Your chest aches, another pang of hurt ringing through your heart at the mention of her. You suck in a breath, but he continues:

“But I think otherwise. I think she made me realize that maybe, she’s not what I want, nor what I need,” something softens in his eyes then, hands squeezing your waist, “what I need is right here, and nowhere else, Y/N. So you can cry about not being the first, but trust me, I want to make you my last.”

Another sob racks its way up your throat. You blink furiously, hands finding purchase onto your sweater sleeves to bunch it up nervously, “do you—“ you stammer out the words, “do you mean that?”

Mingyu nods, the softest of smiles on his face, as your hands come up to wrap around his neck.

“You’re sure sure?” You peer up at him.

He chuckles, “I’m hundred percent sure.”

And proceeds to kiss your next words away as if to seal the deal, to show you that yes, you are the woman he’s been waiting for, the only one he’ll ever have to wait for.

Maybe that’s just a baby step in your world. You will have more days like this, more days of insecurity and fear and straight up panic. That’s not something that you fix overnight.

But for Mingyu, you’ll try anything to make your happy ending.

[dreamsontheirway]

Ain't Easy | J.M.

Summary: in which you have an asthma attack, but JJ is there to help you. Warnings: description of asthma attack Word Length: 1.4k Abbreviations: Y/N = your name, Y/N/N = your nickname

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You had suffered with asthma for as long as you could remember, but it was mostly manageable at this point in your life. You had a couple inhalers that you carried around when you remembered, but you rarely had to use them anymore.

JJ had witnessed you have an asthma attack only once before. It was when you were running away from Rafe and the physical exertion had gotten to you. Luckily, you two were able to hide out of view and you pointed towards your backpack, guiding JJ to place the inhaler against your lips. He had been frantic, his eyes wide and terrified. After you caught your breath again, you reassured him that you were alright. He insisted that you teach him what to do if, god forbid, this happened again. You had taught him the basics, and he listened intently with caring blue eyes.

This was several months ago, and you had yet to have another one since. One thing many people don’t know about asthma, is that it can be caused by many things other than physical exertion. Asthma attacks can be triggered by allergies, pollen, dry air, humidity, and even storms.

Unfortunately for you, the others had chosen a very humid day for a much needed, relaxing boat trip. Relaxation was the goal, at least, but this humidity was making it difficult. You felt like you were trying to breathe in something solid, rather than air. At least you and everyone else were suffering together.

"Ugh," Kiara exasperated. "It's so gross I am literally sticking to my shorts." She pulled at her ripped jean shorts and sure enough, they peeled up as if they were stuck with tape.

You sat in the back of the boat, fanning yourself with a magazine and wiping the back of your neck, feeling it slick with sweat. The attempts to cool yourselves were futile. No matter how many times you splashed into the water you still seemed to dry off instantly, the scorching sun blazing on you and your friends.

"Should we jump in again?" Offered Pope, whose sweat was glistening on his forehead.

"Yes please," JJ countered, taking his flip flops off in preparation.

"I'm gonna stay here," Sarah spoke, pulling her dirty blonde hair up into a bun.

"Me too," you agreed. "Feels pointless. I might go in again later, though."

"Suit yourself," JJ winked at you and leapt into the twinkling water below. The others followed suit, causing a few stray beads of water to spray on your legs.

"Want a drink?" Sarah asked, peeling herself from the sticky boat seat and drifting towards the cooler.

"Yeah, just a beer is fine, thanks," you muttered, beginning to feel a light stinging in your chest.

She handed the cold can to you, and you smiled in appreciation before opening it and taking a sip in hopes it would calm your quickly beating heart and heavy breathing. You breathed out; it came out shaky and unsure.

"You okay?" Sarah offered, peering at you from under light lashes as she dug through her backpack for her phone. Finding it, she sat down next to you.

"Yeah," you choked out. "It's just so hot." You laughed, trying to ease the worry in your chest.

"I know, right," Sarah started. "It's at least like 95 degrees right now. I've never wanted AC so bad, like..."

Sarah's voice seemed to trail off and dissipate as your throat began tightening, strangling you. You gasped, trying to find air to fill your dry airways.

"Y/N?"

Sarah's face appeared in front of you. You couldn't hear her through the ringing in your ears, but you read your name on her lips.

"Inh-" you tried to speak, but only a squeak was able to come out from your sun-baked lips.

Sarah looked confused; she didn't understand what you were trying to say to her. Then it hit you. You had forgotten to pack your inhaler today. Shit! Usually, you were more careful than this, but when you had an attack maybe once every 6 months, it was easy to let it slip your mind.

Sarah noticed your eyes widen, hers becoming frantic. What is happening? Is she having a panic attack? She thought to herself.

"J-" you choked out, hoping Sarah would understand. She did.

"JJ? You want JJ?" She popped up then, dashing to the other end of the boat.

"JJ!" She hollered, desperately.

"What?" JJ said casually; he was floating on his back in the water. "I'm relaxing."

"JJ, it's Y/N! Hurry!"

This got JJ's attention. He crawled up the boat ladder swiftly, racing towards you.

"Baby?" He probed, blue eyes wide in worry. Then he realized -- he had seen this reaction from you before. You were having an asthma attack.

"Where's your inhaler?" He urged you, lake water dripping from his strands of blonde hair and onto the floor of the boat. Both his large hands were placed on either side of your arms.

"I don't," you choked out, "have it."

"Shit," JJ hollered, looking away for a moment. Then his face lit up. "Hold on."

He began rifling through his backpack that was sat next to yours and pulled out a small object. Your extra inhaler. He had it?

"Here baby," he cooed, holding the medicine up to your dry lips, willing you to breathe it in.

It took a couple pumps of the contraption for you to start to breathe normally again. JJ stroked the sides of your arms with his damp hands and watched you intently. The others had made their way back onto the boat, watching silently, concerned for you.

You sighed loudly, finally able to catch your breath. You leaned your head back against the edge of the boat behind you.

"You're okay," JJ spoke softly, pulling the stray strands of hair away from your face. He recalled from the last attack that you lost all your energy from the exertion it took to try to breathe.

You coughed then, your head shooting up. You leaned forward, your elbows resting on your thighs. JJ's hand reached up to rub your back soothingly, and he looked at the others as someone spoke.

"Is she-" Kiara's voice spoke.

"She's fine," JJ barked, knowing you didn't want to be pitied, "just give her a second."

As a child, you had asthma attacks more frequently. You could still feel the sorrowful gazes from your classmates throughout grade school and you hated it. You were a strong person, and you didn't want your asthma to define you in the way that it once had.

"Thank you." You were finally able to choke out a coherent reply to your caring boyfriend, who still sat, crouched in front of you.

"Yeah," he grinned lopsidedly at you, a smile you adored more than practically anything else in the world. "Do you need anything?"

You ignored his question, your own suddenly returning to you.

"Why did you have my extra inhaler?"

"Oh," he started, "I hope you don't mind. I snagged it from your place. I figured it might come in handy." He grinned again, a subtle nod to your current state, and wiggled the inhaler in his hand.

Tears pricked your eyes.

"Fuck, thank you," you muttered. You felt grateful, but also guilty that your boyfriend had to be the one to take care of you. "God, how did I forget it the one day I needed it? I'm so stupid!"

"Hey, hey," he became more serious, but still had his typical joking undertone. "C'mon, Y/N/N. You barely get 'em anymore. We just gotta make sure at least one of us has one for ya from now on."

You groaned, knowing he was right, but you still felt so stupid. JJ could tell.

"C'mere," he declared, and plopped down next to you. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple.

"Ew, you're gross and sweaty," you blanched dramatically, pulling away.

"Is that any way to talk to me?" He joked, pulling you closer. "Look, I know it ain't easy bein' wheezy, but I kind of saved your life."

You groaned playfully and leaned your head into the crook of his neck. Luckily, the rest of the group had resumed their normal pursuits, leaving you to relax against JJ and get some much-needed rest. His other hand rubbed your thigh comfortingly as the boat advanced back towards the mainland.

-----

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[weebsinstash]

Help, I’ve got massive brain rot about both YanSpiderverse and the YT fics. Like if we go from your post when platonic Yan Miguel makes reader call him Tio/Papa and the one about Miguel angst, Imagine in the moment when he thinks reader is YouTwo and gets rid of them/kicks them out of spider society, he gets angry at them for calling him Tio/Papa again. Only once reader comes back, literally almost dead from glitching through the multiverse, they’re in too much shock/too scared of what Miguel will do to them to call him that again. Cue regretful/pissed off Miguel earning back his Tio privileges by being a bit tooo nice to reader.

NOOOOOOO because he spent all this time forcing his affections on you and eventually legitimately actually winning some sort of trust and affection from you and you're able to trust him as this weird parental/platonic guardian figure who's never supposed to hurt you and you're finally calling him tio/papá and asking for his help and it just makes him SHOUT IN ANGER AT YOU, maybe even slap or punch you because from his perspective you're a dirty fake soiling something that's precious to him

YOU'RE COMING TO HIM FOR HELP IN A MOMENT OF VULNERABILITY AND HE JUST HURTS YOU like really for people like me that's a revisit to the childhood trauma that made him wanna give you a proper father figure in the first place. He tries to heal you after you get abused by your dad and then he hurts you in a moment of need, like, the angst man, just him seeing how he's completely lost your trust, he reaches for you to hold you and you FLINCH becuase you still remember him punching you so hard it almost knocked some of your teeth out

Like imagine Miguel's DISGUST if he's gotten rid of you and he's with YouTwo and he thinks he's won and he's helped you and you're just so happy and YouTwo just. Eventually comes on to him. Like the immediate 180 degree turn in his emotional state from victorious to devastated. Maybe he's trying to hug 'you' in an emotional embrace because he's feeling so stressed and you ground him and here's YouTwo, suddenly smiling up at him so coyly, putting a hand on his chest that starts trailing lower, lower, leaning to try and kiss him, and he's just like NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, WHERE IS MY BABY 😭 the DISGUST, the REPULSION, who is this PERVERT pretending to be his little one?

There are just all these little things he used to enjoy with you that he cant anymore that he misses SO much. He used to love to comb and do things with your hair and when you return from essentially living in the wilderness you just have it cut SO short and he kinda grieves not being able to do anything with your hair anymore (at least until it grows back, and maybe his new routine is washing your hair for you and massaging your scalp with hair regrowth treatments which he maybe concocted himself being a genius geneticist and all). You're extremely quiet now and when you speak to him it's always like you hesitate first, as if you're catering every word to please him to not get harmed. He used to take you on Spiderman missions and nowadays you're so ran down from your experience that you could use a few MONTHS of resting up before you feel like going back out into the fray again (IF your Papá let's you, which, he won't, not without him). He had new clothes for you that you don't fill out the same anymore because you've lost weight and muscle

But on the flip side. Maybe your experience was so traumatizing and unstable that you need someone showering you with love and support and affection now more than ever. You're afraid to sleep alone, you're scared going out in public where there's strangers or lots of people, you're scared of open areas, you're scared of reflective surfaces that show your reflection, like... Miguel NEEDS to make this up to you and if keeping you with him 24/7 and then some is the answer, he's all too happy to hover, and GOD FORBID if someone does something to you during this time where you're unstable and he's trying to fix things. It could be the smallest thing. You're walking through a hallway and someone runs by in a hurry and they accidentally knock you over and suddenly they're having a massive man lunge at them, knocking them over, barking at them how they need to watch what they're fucking doing, demanding they apologize to you and all but make them beg for your forgiveness

Nowadays, if someone enters Miguel's little office or monitor room or whatever the fuck, there's a chance he's still in the dark as always, but, now there's a chance he's in there sitting in a chair, watching his monitors and working as usual while you're wrapped up in a blanket tucked against his chest, his large body protecting you nice and cozy while you sleep because you finally crashed from the anxiety keeping you awake and being held like this helps fight off the nightmares

[cptapathy]

My takeaway for the new UK guidance on gender transitioning in schools

Please, everyone, respond to the guidance and call it out as how shit it is, don't just accept this shit.

Here is the link to respond to this attack on trans youth

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/

1. If you are under 18, are doubting/exploring your gender and wish to involve the teaching staff but not your parents, then explicitly say to them, "if my parents find out they will beat me"

This is the only way to prevent the teacher from having a legal duty to inform your parents

2. The guidance is rife with "G3nder Cri1ical" terminology, but what do you expect from the equality minister for Britain?

3. Unsupportive teachers will be able to justify their prejudice as "watchful waiting" as laid out in the guidance as step 1

Just to clarify, if a 16yo comes to ask to be referred to by a different name or pronouns step 1‽ is to not honour those requedts for an indeterminate period of time to "make sure." This will be standard across an entire country

4. A direct quote

"Does the child feel pressured to identify differently because they simply do not align with stereotypes associated with their sex? This is relevant as some people think gender identity reinforces stereotypes about men and women"

They need to spend some time on tumblr, ain't nothing about you freaks that reinforces gender stereotypes

5. Another quote

Schools "should not unilaterally adopt any changes, including using a new name or new pronouns, unless or until this has been agreed by the school or college in accordance with the proper procedures and... parental consent"

So, any time a child considers their gender identity, there must be a school meeting about accepting it. They then go on to talk about "contested views"

But if anyone has contrary views, those are protected and "must be respected," not period of denial, and informing the parent to then hold a meeting of if those views are necessary for the school to honour.

6. "Agreeing to a child’s request to have others use different pronouns about them is a significant decision."

No it fucking isn't

7. Children under the age of 11 are not allowed to have different pronouns. It's just an outright blanket ban on using gender affirming pronouns for Under 11s.

8. Over 11 well, now we have to decide if using they/them is a large enough benefit to you that it "outweighs the impact on the school community."

Idiots the lot of them

8. But if we do accept a pronoun change, you will still be referred to as "girls" or "boys" collectively, and we won't stop teachers or other students from not using your pronouns. Did you think this was to enforce your pronoun use? No, no, no, this is just to allow YOU to use those pronouns, god forbid a student decide for themselves how they want to be referred to!

9. Literally just explicit transphobia

"Schools and colleges should exhaust all other options, such as using first names, to avoid requiring other individuals having to use preferred pronouns"

10. The first and only mention of bullying, in full

"In all cases, bullying of any child must not be tolerated. No child should be sanctioned for honest mistakes when adapting to a new way of interacting with another pupil"

Why does that feel like they're defending transphobes from bullying? Oh, right, because that's what they are doing.

11. Did anyone expect anything different to this?

"Responding to a request to support any degree of social transition must not include allowing access to these spaces"

So, it will be a legal requirement for teachers in England to prevent trans people from going to a toilet or changing room designated for their gender.

12. This one is not a legal requirement but rather a "should" statement, which is trans children "should" be held to the same uniform status as other children of their AGAB.

I'm running out of commentary here

13. No one is surprised that trans people are once again banned in sports

The full doc for anyone willing to go through it

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

Boys, girls, and the genders we aren't allowed to mention, that is my summary of the UK government proposed guidance on trans students.

Please help stop them.

[twistedastrology]

♋cancers and rage♋

-------------------------------------------------

i just did a workout because i had way too much energy today and now im exhausted so im gonna talk abt sumn im very passionate abt while i sit on the floor and recover 😮‍💨

- 🌙 -

a pretty big observation ive made since ive been into astrology and more specifically since ive been basically reinventing it in my head is that cancers, especially cancer risings/cancer mars, have a VERY misunderstood relationship with anger.

most people ive seen have said something along the lines of cancers are crybabies and they tend to cry when they're angry or just skip anger altogether and go to the depression side of things

personally, im a cancer rising with mars conjunct my ascendant (and ofc saturn in my 1st 💞💞) and i have NEVER found this to be the case, and other cancer risings i know don't follow those stereotypes either

- ♈ -

in my experience, imagine a combination of aries energy and capricorn energy, THAT'S what cancers embody when it comes to emotion, especially rage.

i've written an entire newsletter on this and made a whole instagram post for it over at @bluedashercrafts (they're not on tumblr yet but the link takes u to their instagram!!) so i have indeed thought very in depth about this 😮‍💨

cancers can blow up like aries, but they can hold a grudge like capricorn- and if you're me and you have saturn in your 1st (in fixed fire btw 😮‍💨), you'll lean more towards the capricorn side of things in any emotion.

i personally have a massive tendency to bottle up the pain (andrageandfearthatifeeltHEPAINANDR-) until im in a safe environment to get it out (aka being alone with my earbuds in and music blasting) OR until i can't hold it in anymore and the steam gets so high pressured that it blows the lid off the fucking pot- that's when i gotta run away and isolate myself and do a workout ASAP otherwise i will likely hurt myself because there's just So Much Energy

- ♑ -

i wanna bring a couple other examples to the table so you get a better idea of what im talkin abt here-

if you're a korn enjoyer like me, you'll know the My Gift To You - Woodstock '99 performance. well the first time i saw that and it got to the "I HATE YOU- CAN'T YOU FEEL TEH PAAIN-" part, my fucking jaw dropped and i almost cried because i could not believe that i was seeing someone else exhibit the same like- Pure Unbridled Rage that i experience all the time- the kind of visceral emotion that literally makes you flail around on stage and then bang the microphone against it like 3+ times because you're trying to come back to reality like jonathan davis was-

THAT is the level I'm talking about- that is the level that is very specific to cancer placements, specifically cancer risings and cancer mars (and his mars is in a cancer degree of scorpio, so there you go)

another more well-known example would be Markiplier! if you've seen his rage game playthroughs, you'll know he throws chairs and mouses and just generally gets pissed to an ungodly extent- he's a cancer rising with his venus and sun in cancer and his mars in leo.

- 🌓 -

cancers are NOT the signs that break down crying when they experience anger, they are the ones that feel their blood boil more than aries does.

for another good example, my best friend has his mars and venus both in aries, but he's another cancer rising- whenever he gets angry, he gets VERY angry, but he doesn't have the saturn influence that i do, so his anger is much more aries-like (short fuse, louder about it and it doesn't last as long- his is more like the classic interpretation of anger issues), whereas mine is MUCH more capricorn-like (LONG fuse, WAY quieter about it but god forbid it gets loud, and it Can last a very long time)

- 🪐 -

now you might wanna ask me "why the hell do you keep saying aries and capricorn specifically", well i just explained that im not gonna lie BUT-

cancers are very aries-like because they're the CARDINAL water sign, and cardinal signs are basically just fire-coded whatever element they are- (aries is double fire, capricorn is fire-coded earth, libra is fire-coded air, and cancer is fire-coded water)

and with aries being the fire-coded fire sign, it's essentially capricorn is aries-coded earth- THAT'S why cancers can be VERY similar to aries.

as for capricorn, cancers are the sister sign to capricorn, so they'll share similar traits despite being on opposite sides of the wheel. PLUS, where fire burns itself out very quickly, water doesn't really dry out very quickly especially if there's a lot of it.

- 🌑 -

this is really just part 1 when it comes to my reinvention of cancers- ill cover their relationship with sex as opposed to scorpios in another post because i really wanna delve more into that BUT!!!

if you want more of a well-put-together post on this, go check out the ig post and newsletter i did for blue dasher crafts!!! i also dived a little more into my personal experience with the anger and catharsis i go thru being a cancer rising/mars so!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

hiii could i get J, P, Q an U for Slender? thanks! and i hope your day is going really well >_<

More Fluff Alphabet /w Slenderman but these letters!

my days been pretty okay! slow, but not terrible :O gonna be slow from tomorrow until next saturday so i might promote requests being open ponders not proof read!! though to be fair i dont. think i proof read any of my stuff

J (JEALOUSY)-

he can get rather possessive in general when it comes to you or his proxies so uh

don't like, try to make him jealous on purpose, it doesn't end well for anyone involved. actually don't try to tick off forest demons in general

i know i keep saying stuff like "oh god forbid someone make you uncomfortable" in these but like. slenderman is still this huge powerful creature, i know my interpretation on him is a bit silly n different but he still has roots in the 2010s fandom interpretation, you know?

there will be... a mess... is what im saying

in the case that someone is being weird with you, he's less jealous and more angry, though, of course not angry at you

though there will be hard boundaries set in place if you try to rile him up on purpose, he doesnt want to waste his time on someone whos going to toy with him like that. both in a "hey thats not really cool or healthy of you to do to me or our relationship" and also "im fucking slenderman im a old ass powerful demon, who do you think you are?"

P (PETNAMES)-

he calls you; love, darling, my dear

he likes being called; really anything under the sun, because as long as its something coming from your mouth hes pleased, because it ultimately means hes yours and youre his

q (QUESTION)-

for more context see this post! dives into lore stuff for my au/hcs but it'll help add context to this segment!:

here!

hope the link copied well enough </3 if not you can find it on my blog, titled "all entwined in one web" or something along those lines

anyways

some variant of "why do you stay"

you could have decided to be with literally anyone else, but you chose a solitary self loathing demon who eats people in order to survive, created for the sole purpose to cause issues and harm to humanity

on one hand he wants you to stick around and keep him company; but on the other hand he wants you as far away from him as possible so you can go out and live your own life without being in danger or having to put up with his whole deal

please give him lots of reassurance, its going to take a lot for him to stop asking those kinds of questions; assuming he stops asking at all

U (UPSET)-

i feel like him being upset is similar to the jealousy part of this post, but just more. broad. like hes not going to take shit if youre going to try to upset him on purpose

hes more patient if its accidental, though. diving into a previous fluff alphabet, if its an accident and something that can be helped in terms of future instances hes likely to work through it with you. he knows his time with you is short, if his partner is a mortal, and he doesnt want to waste that time

soft slenderman my beloved, let this man have complex emotions and desires and whatnot

kinda just. vanishes when he gets real upset, though, since he cant control his anger that well and generally just doesnt want you to see him like that- best way to help him like that is to just give him time

if youre the one upset hes going to listen to you, if you need someone to talk to. man of few words, advice can go fifty fifty

either gives good advice or not good advice; and thats on him being around for a long time but not really spending a lot of that time you know... interacting with others in a meaningful way

bonus if you still live at your place he's going to do a bunch of your chores for you. in. varying degrees of success, similar reasoning as above since he doesnt really have a home of his own to do like. dishes or laundry at. still bouncing between if im going to have the mansion be a part of this au of mine or not, and if so, how its going to tie in to everything

shrugs

[zhongrin]

I assume you got hate for that L&D ask? I'm sorry that was done. Feel better soon. Maybe say less next time.

i appreciate your kind words, thank you. however, while i'm sure you had the best intention with this, i don't think i will 'say less'. this is my blog, my space, and as long as i'm not actually causing harm to anyone or anything along that line, i think i'm allowed to have some degree of freedom regarding saying what i like/dislike and setting my boundaries. i'm sorry, but i'm not an influencer, nor a public figure who has the responsibility to spread positivity and be a role model to you all. i try as much as i can, of course, but that's not the purpose of this blog. i'm just a human being who needed an outlet for writing and wanted to connect with like-minded people.

what part was not 'right'? that i expressed, in my own blog, how i didn't want to try out a game because one of the reasons is i find the graphics of the fictional characters off-putting, when asked? that i likened a fictional game art style to a different franchise and objects you see all the time in adult site ads? that i never said anything about the people who do like the game and told them "i'm happy you found a game you like"? that i never, not even once, went to other people's posts or blog who posted that game's content to ruin their fun like a bastard? that i actively chose to use tumblr's filter instead? that even if the filter didn't work, i chose to scroll and ignore instead of bitching about it?

pray tell, what did i do wrong? why should i say less? since when am i not allowed to dislike things?

and a public psa ー i'm sorry, but bluntly speaking, if you take an affront when I expressed MY own opinion, WHEN PROMPTED, WITHIN MY OWN SPACE (and god forbid you retaliate like that anon(s?) by spamming me to shut the fuck up and kill myself), then that's really not my problem. it's an art direction, for god's sake. i adore zhongli, who gets memed and made fun of as a cockroach all the time; you don't see me screaming at people to stop.

learn that people may not like the things you like. learn to agree to disagree. learn to treat others as fellow human beings with likes and dislikes. learn to separate fiction from reality.

and seriously, if you're annoyed with my rambles or 'babblings' or the interactions with my friends, tumblr has a filter and block function. it's just a simple google away. give some peace to your own mind.

[r6shippingdelivery]

I want to preface this by saying this post isn’t about any fandom in particular, it’s an issue that concerns all fandoms and it was a thought that sparked in my mind after reading some posts from generic fanfic sites/AO3 related. And it’s about the way fanfic writers are treated in general, even by fellow writers.

When someone makes a post reminding people that liking and reblogging/retweeting is the best way to help their favorite artists, or that comments help the algorithm and boost the creator’s confidence, everyone shares this and I don’t really see any dissenting voices. However, the moment someone makes a post saying that the way to support your favorite writers is by leaving kudos and commenting if you can, a lot of people flip their shit and start saying writers ask too much and feel entitled to comments and interaction. Why the fuck is there such a double standard?

Why is it okay to tell writers they should be grateful if people passively read their stories and never make their appreciation known, but I have never seen a post with people complaining in the same way about how artists expect engagement on their art posts? Occasionally, there’s some posts about the importance of sharing (by reblog/retweet, not reposting), but it’s usually more in the vein of pointing out how that’s on a downtrend and warning people that if they don’t share the art and stuff they like, the artists will eventually leave the platform. And yet the moment someone points out that if writers don’t get any encouragement they’ll eventually stop sharing and updating their stories, it’s a giant argument about how writers see fandom as a big transactional event and how they feel entitled to comments. Even writer focused spaces are spouting such sentiments, it’s mind boggling! 

If a writer talks about their lack of engagement on a story, they get bombarded with replies about how they should write for themselves only. Which is fair to a degree, but let’s look at it like this: if you baked your favorite cake and brought it to a potluck and nobody tried a slice of it, everyone would understand why you’d be a bit bummed. Yet writers get inundated with contradictory advice: you have to ask for concrit if you want interaction, try asking for specific questions at the end so your readers know what to comment about! Don’t ask for concrit and much less ask specific questions cause then the readers feel pressured and won’t comment. Answer to all comments you get or the readers won’t bother commenting if there’s no reply. Don’t reply to comments cause then you’re artificially inflating your story’s stats and commenters will be put off by that. Give a blanket statement about how you appreciate comments and kudos. Don’t do that because you look desperate. Etc. It’s a ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ situation. No matter what route you pick, it seems like you’ll come off as entitled/desperate/clingy to people, just for saying “please, let me know there’s someone out there and I’m not throwing my stories to an empty void.” 

And while most of the focus of these big “writers ask for too much” rants are about comments, there’s also the kudos. Apparently the idea that if you read a story and enjoyed it you should leave kudos (aka, clicking a button - it’s like giving a like) is preposterous for some sectors too. So people won’t leave kudos on ongoing stories, and commenting is out of the question/too much effort, so they just read those ongoing multi-chapters silently - and then complain when the story is abandoned. God forbid the author saw the lack of interaction and decided that sharing their story wasn’t worth it since nobody seemed to like it, as far as they could tell. And to those crying they did like it…  well, if you don’t actually show that in a tangible way, how the fuck did you expect the author to know? Fandom might not be transactional in the way some people seem to think it’s suggested, it’s not a review/comment exchange, no. But it’s a place where people seek connection and community, and if you don’t talk to people you won’t make those connections. Not everyone is on the same social media circles, sometimes a comment on AO3 is all the fandom interaction people will have. And that’s okay. You can still make friends and connections like that. Hell, a lot of the fandom friends I met started with them commenting on a story of mine or vice-versa! 

Nobody is asking you to comment on every single story you read, that’s asinine and impossible, and tbh sounds more like a strawman argument than a real idea you can see in these discussions. All fanfic authors say is “if you enjoyed my work, leave a kudo and consider leaving a comment if possible, even if it’s just an emoji or keysmash, please”, and yet that’s deemed too demanding and/or manipulative. But being told artists need you to support them with likes and reblogs, and comments if possible, and please consider donating to their ko-fi - that is perfectly okay. And I’m not saying artists are entitled for that, not at all! I’m just asking y’all to consider why there’s such a double standard in the way people treat fanfic writers versus the way they treat fan artists. Because at the end of the day, both are creating the content fandom people like to see, and yet it doesn’t feel like both types of creators are treated in the same way.

[mythserene]

I wrote the email to Lewisohn to ask about the logbook.

LEWISOHN: THE LOGBOOK IS NOT REAL

It's kind of embarrassing because I do admit to reading Tune In, like, twelve times. But it's true and I read fast. And I was brand new to The Beatles— (as people and as stories, not —gasp, god forbid!— as music)—and so I came into the story after Get Back. I got COVID and put Get Back on a loop because it was soothing. Then it took awhile for my brain to work again and at first my mind literally would not move. I was not able to think about anything else because it was like my mind was nailed to the ground. It had lost its ability to shift. To be able to move from the space it was on to another space, and it was on Get Back. It was on Beatles. But slowly I could crawl a little to another bit of Beatles. It became like a huge tanker, hard to turn, but it plowed ahead great. Tune In was the first slow turn added to "Get Back." And soon I started source diving into it, because it wasn't exactly a turn. It was a one degree of separation crawl. And that's how my brain began learning to branch out again. But unfortunately I basically went into shock right away. There are obviously real citations, but it didn't take long to realize how egregious it was.

Anyway, so I emailed Lewisohn and told him I read his book at least 12 times and I used “particularly” twice, but I will trust you not to hold either against me:

Dear Mr. Lewisohn,

I don't particularly expect an answer, but in justice to you I felt it was only fair to ask: what evidence do you have of Koschmider's logbook? And particularly of specific "antics" "he recorded" in it? I have listened to the Koschmider interview cited and no logbook is mentioned, and even if it did exist I cannot comprehend how anyone could speak to what "he recorded" in it. I actually loved the book and read and listened to it at least 12 times, but I am naturally a citation person and would like to find some sort of good faith explanation for the fact of this logbook, and particularly for the way it is used and relied on to support the text.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely,

We'll see if he answers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯︎

[vegetable-man]

Eddie, By the Book

A/N: You guys are so sexy for 100+ notes on my first ever fic. Come kiss me on the lips fr. I love a blue collar man. Eddie is a Mechanic because that’s so sexy why not. The kids are in their senior year of high school, if that helps with timeline. Eddie has been a mechanic for about 3 years and he’s pretty good at it. Wayne taught my boy. Enjoy :) ***inspired by buck meeks’ joe by the book*** 

Eddie, By the Book

For his eighteenth birthday, Lucas Sinclair bought a new car.

Well, it wasn’t new persay, but it was enough to make him puff up his chest when he would drive Max to and from school or pick her up for a dinner date. It didn’t matter that the engine shook when the temperature was below 45 degrees… right? God forbid he would have to send it to Hawkins’ only mechanic and get charged more than it was worth to fix it.

That’s what went through Lucas’ mind as he drove slowly through the streets of Hawkins.

Now, you might ask where he was going, and he would tell you that he was going to the mechanic anyway. But, with three passengers Dustin, Will, and Mike, it wouldn’t be such a plausible story. The truth was that he and his best friends were going to meet up with Max and Eleven to watch the new space invaders. It was embarrassing that he was now stranded with a stalled car.

“What the fuck are we going to do now?” Mike muttered and kicked the back wheel.

“I don’t know man, maybe we can ask El to ask Hopper to pick us up?” Lucas was trying to solve the problem before Mike blew up at him.

“No, that’s embarrassing Lucas! You know what, maybe, we should call your mom and ask her to drop us off”

“We can’t do that”

“Yes we can Lucas, and I’m going to call her right now” Mike opened the backseat door to grab his cinderblock telephone, courtesy of El who wanted to make sure he could always answer her calls even when he was out.

Lucas beat him to it and slammed the door shut before Mike could reach for the phone next to Will who seemed entirely unbothered.

“If we call my mom I’ll never hear the end of it. We can’t call her, she told me not to buy the car Mike! Just because you’re going to miss making out with-“

“Yeah Lucas! I’m going to miss making out with my GIRLFRIEND who actually likes me. You’re not missing anything with Max. You should get paid to waste my time because you’re pretty fucking good at it-“

“Guys, guys, GUYS!” Dustin interrupted. “I have an idea.” Looking at both Mike and Lucas in the eyes as they calmed down to pay attention to him, Dustin spoke “we can push it down to the Auto shop and have Eddie take a look”

Lucas interrupted “listen man, I don’t have the money to be spending on getting this shit fixed, honestly, let’s call El and she can move it with her-“

“Yeah you would use my girlfriend to fix your problems. When do you ever-“

And they went at it again.

Five minutes later, Lucas realized he had no choice but to push it four miles down the road to the Auto shop where Eddie worked. It was embarrassing directing a four-man crew to push his car through Hawkins.

“Yank the wheel Will, make sure it’s in Neutral!” Dustin yelled.

Will responded with a silent thumbs up extended out the driver’s side window.

As the three boys pushed the car, and Will drove it, Dustin reassured Lucas that Eddie could fix his car for less than he paid for it.

“No seriously Lucas, he’s by the book, he fixed Y/N’s Cadillac a while back and he didn’t even charge her for it. Lent her a car in the meantime and everything”

“Dustin, we’re missing something here” Lucas stopped pushing to look at Dustin “He’s not in love with me”

Dustin laughed “yeah well obviously, he’s not gonna do your shit for free, I’m just saying”

Lucas sighed.

….

Two years ago

While you recently enrolled in a local college, slowly getting a degree part-time, Eddie had been working at Riley’s Auto Shop for a year and a half. It was an easy hire when he finally graduated high school. Wayne knew a guy, who knew a guy sorta thing. Truth was, Eddie was a master at working with his hands. Back when he got his first car, the van he oh so loved, he almost took the entire thing apart just to put it back together again.

When you asked what he was doing, he said, “I need to see behind the curtain sweetheart, what am I gonna do when this thing blows up?”

And he was right. Not so much as two months later, the transmission blew. Luckily, Eddie (with a little help from Wayne) quickly figured out how to fix it and got his baby back on the road in less than a day. It was an ego booster in the way that Eddie hadn’t known, apart from you of course, and he then became the trailer park’s own mechanic.

That’s why, when your car was making a humming noise before almost-not starting, you went crying to Eddie.

Of course, this was an overstatement, even if you did have tears in your eyes when you pulled up to the shop.

The crunch of your tires on the cracked asphalt alerted Eddie that a new customer was pulling in. He thought that it was probably some teenager coming in to get their oil changed or a new inspection, rolling his eyes and coming out from underneath a BMW which needed an electrical fix.

Wiping his hands on a nearby rag, Eddie walked a bit out of the garage to see that it was, in fact, you in the parking lot. Eddie immediately smiled and waved, happy to see his best friend, a girl he had been in love with since the fourth grade, visiting him at work. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. You had brought him lunch so many times before that Eddie thought he had swooned more than any man had ever on the history of earth.

His smile faltered as he saw you, red-rimmed eyes, step out of the car and towards him.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” He opened his arms to hug you and despite the black oil stains on his white tank top, you fell into his embrace.

With your head against the upper right side of his chest, tucked between his chin and shoulder, you sniffed “something’s wrong with my car teddy.”

He looked down at you on his chest and squeezed your waist “well, that’s not a problem you know I can fix it for you.” He tried to send you a soft smile to reassure you, tilting his head down but he couldn’t reach your eyes.

After a bit of silence, and you soaking up the small caresses that Eddie was dragging across your back and up and down your arms, Eddie tried to crack you again “what’s wrong bub, why are you so upset?”

Eddie always knew how to slip through the walls, and he knew he hit a nerve when he could feel your shoulders shake and head bury further into the tendrils of hair fallen out of his bun.

“I have a test tomorrow,” you choked “and I’m trying to study but I’m stressed about my car and I’m not even going to be able to drive to school tomorrow. Teddy, I’m just frustrated and embarrassed.”

“Why are you embarrassed?” He asked, confused.

“I don’t know, I just am.”

Without missing a beat, Eddie said “Take my car”

“Huh?”

“Honey, take my car, and I’ll figure out what’s wrong with your little monster” Eddie was soothing and his big hands were keeping your shoulders and waist close to his torso. You could smell the sweat and feel the vibrations of his low tone as he tried to save you some grief.

“No Eddie, I can’t” you breathed “If I can make-“

“What am I if I can’t fix your problems Y/N?” Eddie had always felt his responsibility to take on a portion of the burdens that you faced, even when he knew you were more than equipped to handle them. It made him feel useful, it made him feel like a man. Something that his father tried so hard to take away from him when he was a kid. Eddie wanted to care for you, he wanted to show you he could be there and provide for you. That if you were in a pinch, you wouldn’t panic because you knew ‘Eddie’s coming to fix it’.

With a kiss to your temple, Eddie dug his car keys out of his work pants pocket and handed them to you.

“Go home, eat something, study, and come back tomorrow. I’ll have this all figured out okay?” Eddie looked at you in the eyes as you sniffled and then kissed his cheek.

“Okay, but if you can’t fix it tonight it’s okay I promise, and tell me how much-“

“Go home sweetheart” he chided.

“Okay, love you”

“I love you too”

Eddies heart always raced when you said that. As much as he was in love with you, and he knew you were in love with him, he felt it necessary to prove to you he could be good for you before he officially asked you out.

As if he hadn’t been proving that since the fourth grade.

…

“Apparently it was a really hard job but he got it done for her in less than a day. I swear Lucas if there’s anyone who can fix this for you its Eddie.”

The four boys, and beat up car, were less than a mile away from the auto shop and, conveniently, outside of a gas station. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will stopped in to get some drinks and snacks and cool off before going back outside and finishing the hike.

Sitting under the air conditioning unit, the boys couldn’t be bothered to look up when the doorbell rang to signal an incoming customer.

If they didn’t see him, they sure as hell heard him “Thirty on four please.”

As if they were stranded in a desert hearing the drip of water, all the boys head’s snapped up to see Eddie’s form retreating out of the gas station to the pump to fill a dark green Cadillac.

“EDDIE! EDDIE!” They yelled.

Eddie almost dropped the large Smartfood bag and blue slushy as he tried to place it in the car and looked up to see four teenagers, no, young men, barreling toward him.

“Eddie!” Lucas breathed heavily. “I need-“

Dustin interrupted him “Lucas’ deadbeat car stalled and we’re late for a movie and listen, morale is low”

Eddie chuckled and looked around to find Lucas’ tan, minus the rust, car sitting on the side of the road. “Did you…. Push it all the way here?” Eddie inspected the young men’s sweaty shirts and damp hair.

Yeah, they pushed it all the way here.

Before they could answer, Eddie winced and shook his head. “Just get in the car.” They sighed in relief and went to open the doors “WAIT” Eddie yelled “this is the missus’ car, I don’t want to see a spec of dust or sweat or anything. Don’t eat in the car and don’t spill anything either.” He looked around at the four boys who vehemently nodded. “Okay, get in”

Eddie filled up the green Cadillac and then took off to the auto shop. It was not even a five minute drive, but nevertheless a thirty minute push from where Lucas’ car stood.

Pulling up to the auto shop, Dustin saw that Eddie was the only mechanic on shift. Metal was lowly playing on the radio. Weekends were pretty slow anyway, and Eddie liked to take it slow when he could. Getting out of the car with their snacks and drinks in tow, Eddie included, the five of them entered the air-conditioned office of the auto shop.

From a small window, Dustin could see you, head in one hand and pencil in the other. You looked to be concentrating on something, almost frustrated as you massaged your forehead and dropped your pencil to close your eyes and sigh. Eddie gently opened the door with his elbow, and walked into the lit room. You turned your head to look at Eddie and caught the eyes of the four boys. With an enthusiastic wave you smiled and then turned to Eddie, smile growing brighter at the sight of the popcorn and slushy in his hands.

He gently pecked you on the lips and placed the food and drink on the table with your papers. In lieu of holding the goods, his hands massaged your shoulders and he spoke to you softly.

Dustin could not catch the words he was saying to you. Probably something about how he now had another car to fix or that he wanted some slushy, Dustin had no idea.

Giving Eddie another kiss and a squeeze of his hand you turned back to the paper and Eddie left the room. He quietly closed the door and cleared his throat at the boys gawking at him.

“I’m gonna get the truck to tow your car,” he spoke directly to Lucas and then turned to the group entire “do not bother Y/N, she’s busy with homework, you can eat in the main office.”

Although the boys would have liked to talk to you for a bit, not having much time since you recently enrolled full time in your university, they respected the man who was going to fix Lucas’ car and, ultimately, get them to the movies. If Eddie said you were busy, you might as well have been drafting letters to the Pope.

If Lucas wanted to leave with his wallet intact, he would respect your space and Eddie’s commands.

Within five minutes, Eddie’s work truck was bounding down the road with Lucas’ car in tow. In another twenty minutes Eddie had diagnosed the car with a faulty fuel line and then immediately went to the car yard to get the part and patch the sucker up.

It took Eddie about forty minutes to fix the problem.

Lucas felt like he was floating, but then again, maybe it was his wallet from the bill Eddie was going to give him.

Lucas winced as Eddie wiped his hands on his work pants and timidly asked “How much Eddie?”

Eddie pretended to think, counting on his fingers and then suddenly looking at Lucas.

“Free”

“What?”

“Free, go to dinner or something.” Eddie turned towards the office.

“But-“

Eddie quickly interrupted, “Say hi to the girls for me!” and slammed the door of the office where you were still focused on the work in front of you.

Lucas looked around to the other three boys and quickly got into the car as if Eddie could change his mind at any moment. The boys were still outside the car, slowly moving towards the door when Lucas shouted a “LETS GO” and almost peeled out of the garage and towards the movie theaters to pick up the girls and, hopefully, make it up to them with some dinner.

Inside the office where you found yourself consumed by your homework, Eddie pulled up a chair next to you and leaned on your shoulder.

“That was so sexy” you poked at his thigh.

Eddie cheesed “who am I to get in the way of young love” leaning toward you and looking up into your eyes with the most love you’ve ever seen.

You gave a genuine belly laugh “you’re so stupid” you examined his face.

Eddie gave you a toothy smile and headbutted your shoulder as you picked up the pencil again and got back to work.