#god i love my mates

[zennotixs]

My mate made a diss track about the guy in our group who keeps flirting with my gf omg this is so funny

[zoromuse]

cw. sanji x f!reader, smoking, praise kink, mating press

Thinking about Sanji just absolutely pounding you into the bed beneath you, his heavy balls slapping against your ass with every hard thrust of his hips, all the while his cigarette rests between his lips.

The smell of sex is almost as intoxicating as the smoke from his tab, but you don’t care, especially not when he’s ramming into you with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs every time, leaving you panting under him as he grips at your quivering thighs. 

“Good girl,” he mutters, one of his hands leaving your thighs and coming up to his face, removing the cigarette from his mouth and blowing the smoke into the room, stopping altogether and watching you buck your hips needily for more friction. 

“Oh, you’re so desperate…” he says, a slight curve on his lips as he watches how eager you are for him to continue. “Need me to fuck this pussy until you’re all filled up, don’t you?” 

You nod, tears threatening to slip down the corners of your eyes.

“No, princess, you gotta use your words” he says, smoke seeping out of his mouth with every word. 

“I need it, Sanji…” you barely whisper, and he places the cigarette back in between his lips to use both of his hands to force you into a mating press, the new angle allowing him to reach deeper into your walls. 

You moan his name over and over, the tears finally dripping down your cheeks as the head of his cock abuses your sweet spot repeatedly. 

“You’re doing such a good job, taking me so well…” he says, a string of groans following his words, soft grunts to the same rhythm of his thrusts against you. His brows are furrowed as he looks down, focusing on the way your pussy is swallowing his cock whole, leaving a white ring of your arousal on him.

“You look so pretty when you’re creaming around me, pretty girl” he praises, and he knows you like it when he feels you clenching around him. “You like that? You like me calling you my pretty girl? my angel?”

His calloused hands grip your thighs a little harder at the way you scream his name, his fingertips dig into your skin, sure to leave marks until tomorrow, just the way he likes it. 

©️ zoromuse 2023 | all content belongs to zoromuse, do not modify or repost

[rottengurlz]

try to be gentle when you are ripping me apart 🔪

w/ @kashisun

[calicobunnyrabbit]

whoa! it's, like, symbolic.

[gildedmuse]

Hey, I was just reading one of your FICS and suddenly I started to wonder about Zoro — or most strawhat — just jumping into the water whenever a devil fruit user falls into the sea, like because of Luffy the moment they hear the sound, their bodies just go into auto pilot.

Did Luffy — Robin, and Chopper— Pavlov them?

There's actually a scene in Zou where they're climbing up the elephant on the poorly drawn Ryunosuke; which of course means holding on tight since it's a poorly drawn dragon scaling a straight cliffside. But the second Luffy appears to fall off you see just how pissy Zoro gets, because Zoro knows, if he hears a splash he is going in that water. It doesn't matter how turbulent it is, how far the drop, how much an elephant might have just shit in it, he isn't even holding onto the dragon - his arms are folded over his chest this whole time - but you know the SECOND he hears that splash he's relaxing his thighs and taking a straight up dunk into that water.

I mean, just look at Zoro, Killer, Bepo, Rayleigh, Beckman. What do they all have in common? They have arms as thick as my thighs because these boys are use to dragging their captains up from the deepest depths (note: Rogers and Shanks might not have devil's fruits but that doesn't make them not fucking idiots. "There's a GODDAMN WHIRLPOOL and - you know what? I'll just drag his ass back to the shore myself, you guys just try and keep from dying while I'm gone.")

I believe that on your First Mate resume, one of the questions has to be, "how fast do you jump into the water after hearing a splash?" and if the answer isn't IMMEDIATELY you are OUT.

Can you imagine how fast I the water Heart! Zoro is. Don't worry, I did it for you. Instantaneous. Some part of first mates is just written differently in their DNA. It commands they save their captains from the sea.

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA BUT ODY PULLS A BRUCE WAYNE

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

okay, bear with me for a moment. odysseus' perspective in all of this would be fascinating. and you know what is also fascinating? the way we can do whatever we want in this AU. so we can and will keep baby Astyanax alive.

to start with, Ody doesn't kill the baby. obviously. the reason is that, while he's having his fascinating little soliloquy about the morality of child murder in JAM, some terrified nursemaid that had been hiding somewhere in the room (I imagine her behind a conveniently shaped vase) picks up a dagger and stabs him in the shoulder from behind.

obviously she fails to do the deed, and he quickly and almost automatically kills her. but he's still stabbed. non-lethally, but enough to greatly hinder him.

Ody decides to go back to his people to get first aid. he can't bring himself to kill the baby, but he also can't just leave it there for others to find, because there's no telling if the remaining Trojans would rescue the boy, or if the Greeks would take him as a prisoner/slave or adopt/lose him somewhere where Odysseus can't ensure Zeus' prophecy won't come true. so Ody takes the baby with him.

the soldiers are,,, not impressed.

Eurylochus, looking at the infant: so, uh. what do you have here, captain? Odysseus, avoiding eye contact at all costs: a smoothie-

Eurylochus in particular is beside himself thinking about the implications. but overall people are too happy about finally going back home to really make much of a fuss about it, so it's fine (for now).

anyways Odysseus is still on edge about the baby's (and everyone else's) safety, so at first he tries to bring the boy with him everywhere. but his injured shoulder doesn't allow him to actually carry the kid too much. so that job falls to Eurylochus.

Eurylochus is soooo enthusiastic about the prospect, especially when the infant starts biting his chest, trying to nurse.

the baby: h o n g r y eurylochus: ARGH! GET YOUR GODS' DAMNED KID, BRO! odysseus: it don't bite eurylochus: YES IT DO

Odysseus prohibits everyone from using the baby's real name, both to keep its origins a secret from potential enemies, and to avoid getting attached to it (in case he actually decides he wants to kill it). so Eurylochus nicknames the baby Aphe, from greek "αφαιμάσσω", which means "to leech". because the damn brat keeps biting him.

eventually he and Poletes get into a heavy debate about whether or not it's mean to call a baby a bloodsucker, and Ody, who'd been having a crisis of faith, steps in and settles it for good.

from this point on, Astyanax the Prince of Troy is officially dead. and Odysseus is bringing home his infant son Aphemachus the Prince of Ithaca. etymology is somewhere along the lines of: afaimasso (to leech) + machos (war) = Aphemachus (the blood-sucking war; the war that sucked our blood)

Eurylochus is the one who Aphemachus had gotten attached to the most, due to all the carrying (and the biggest boo). He cries all the time when they're apart, and only Poletes seems to somehow be able to distract the boy, so they end up watching him in shifts.

aphemachus: *wailing in the dead of night* eurylochus, groaning: poletes, your leech is awake. poletes, also groaning: until the sun is up it's your leech.

Odysseus at the same time is still having doubts, so he doesn't trust himself to be too close to the baby.

those thoughts will haunt him for years, and will eventually play a huge role in their relationship, even after Ody starts forcing himself to spend time with his new son to forge a bond that would hopefully stop Aphemachus from destroying Ithaca.

Aphemachus indirectly saves Poletes' life. because when they reach the cyclops' island, Poletes stays behind with the majority of the soldiers to look after the baby. as a result Polyphemus doesn't kill him.

the downside is, Polyphemus almost gets a drop on Odysseus, and in an effort to push him away from danger Eurylochus gets severely injured. his right shoulder never quite recovers, and very deep down he blames Odysseus for needing help in the first place, because not freezing up in battle is the first and most important lesson they were taught as children, and then Ody went and froze up anyway.

sidenote, in Mutiny later on Odysseus will intentionally aim for said shoulder, exploiting the weakness that Eurylochus will have been very put out by and insecure about. just to add to the overall drama.

what none of them know yet, is that Odysseus had royally pissed off Zeus by ignoring his 'friendly advice' of infanticide. so much so, in fact, that Zeus tasks Ares with ensuring that Aphemachus grows up to destroy Ithaca.

as a result, poor kid grows up with the voice of bloodthirsty God of War in his head, constantly trying to convince him that everyone secretly hates and wants to kill him, that he's been stolen from Troy for nefarious purposes, and that it's his duty to avenge his REAL family. so, basically, your standard run-of-the-mill gods-induced paranoid schizophrenia.

odysseus: so, what do you want for dinner? ares: YOUR HEAD ON A SPIKE aphemachus: a bagel ares: NOOO aphemachus: two bagels

as you can guess, the poor boy's mental health is... Not Great™. he grows up a difficult kid, sensitive, too smart for his own god, prone to angry outbursts. think a cross between Damian Wayne and Jason Todd. he's also very paranoid, and remember that Odysseus still has doubts? Aphemachus can sense that, and that scares and angers him more, which makes him lash out, to which Odysseus also tries to keep his distance even more. he doesn't have much experience at actual hands-on parenting, and it doesn't help that he's not sure if he has a right to act as a father to the boy he had indirectly orphaned and directly almost killed.

poletes, exasperated: aphe, dear, we've talked about this. you know violence is never the answer, right? aphemachus: right. aphemachus: violence is the question, and the answer is YES-

so the most consistent positive influence Aphemachus has in his life are Eurylochus, Polites, Perimedes and Elpenor - until the latter dies and Perimedes decides to stay away.

Eurylochus is the stone-faced stern mother hen. he's the one that makes lists upon lists in his head of what the baby, and later toddler, needs. he enforces bed time, makes him eat as healthy as possible on the ship, etc. as such, his status as 'favorite' is quickly revoked once the kid grows old enough to complain.

the new favorite is Poletes, who spoils Aphe rotten and has a hard time saying no to anything. he's the fun uncle who's always down to play games.

Perimedes and Elpenor are like semi-responsible older brothers, who teach him about all kinds of stuff. Perimedes is the type to give Aphe lots of different chores to keep him occupied, and Elpenor, in contrast, tends to whisk the kid away to get him to relax and unwind. he also likes to teach Aphe about stars and constellations. meanwhile Peri 100% had handed toddler Aphe a knife as a prank to test everyone's situational awareness (think Stabby the Roomba), and got shit from everyone.

eurylochus: let me see what you have! aphe: a knife! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ eurylochus, going through all stages of grief simultaneously: NO!

Ares, while he detests lying and 'cheating', doesn't want to wait until Aphe grows up to make him wreak havoc. so instead he starts trying to trick the kid into accidentally causing bloodshed. and most of the time he targets Polites, because the peace-loving fool is an affront to everything Ares stands for.

this results in Aphe often running in between someone's legs at most unfortunate times, spilling liquid where people walk frequently, hiding fish hooks in food as a 'joke'…

it comes to a head with a contraption born out of every inch of cunning Ares possesses (not much), all Aphe's wild child imagination and many of Perimedes' trap-making lessions. it's a glorious thing, straight out of something between Home Alone and the Final Destination series.

Nobody ever really catches him, blaming the near-accidents on pure bad luck. Poletes never once notices that something is amiss, thinking he's just clumsy. the only reason he's still alive is because Elpenor is somehow always there to run interference.

Elpenor is the only one to suspect Aphe, but, since he's a dumbass alcoholic, nobody believes him, even his boyfriend Perimedes. Ares gets fed up with this and starts making Aphe target Eple instead, but before anything could really be done Ruthlessness happens, and they come to stay with Circe.

elpenor: I fear no man aphe: (✿◠‿◠) elpenor: but this thing… this thing scares me

it's only after Elpenor's untimely death that Perimedes starts to take his concerns seriously, but it's too little, too late. it's actually an honest to gods accident that Aphe has nothing to do with, but Peri had sat through so much paranoid, drunken rambling from Elpe that it just clicks to him. he blames Aphe, and, despite not voicing his concerns (because nobody would believe him either), he makes it abundantly clear that he doesn't want anything to do with Aphe anymore, to the boy's dismay.

finally, a few important notes on continuity:

in this AU the journey is a bit slower-paced than in canon, so instead of Act 1 happening almost at once after they left Troy, in the Knitting Saga after the Polyhemus fiasco, pissed off Poseidon decides to torture them first before the execution, so they are lost at sea for a couple years in between Remember Them and Storm, before Poseidon gets bored and decides to kill them for good. then they spend a year with Circe as she cooks up a way to send them into the Underworld, in the meantime hoping that Poseidon cools down somehow. then the Underworld and the Thunder Sagas happen a couple months apart, and then Ody (and Aphemachus, who is kept alive by the gods purposefully, so he has a chance to grow up and destroy Ithaca) spend 5 years with Calypso, and then another year trying to get to Ithaca.

Telegonus still exists in this AU, despite not being the son of Odysseus and Circe. instead, he is the unwanted son of Circe and some unnamed sailor from that first batch that she had taken pity upon and let her guard around. because of being born a demigod and living on a magical island his aging is a bit wonky, but he appears to be around 12-15 years old. he's a charming, confident, precocious child, who takes after his mother in personality and approaches. him and Odysseus get really close in the time that the crew stays on Aeaea, because Telegonus is not (as far as Ody knows, at least) prophecized to harm Ithaca and Odysseus desperately misses Telemachus; while Telegonus just imprints on the first dad-shaped adult he sees. Aphe is sad and desperately jealous.

aphemachus: d-daddy??|･ω･) odysseus: do I look like- ಠ益ಠ telegonus: you are my dad! you're my dad! boogie-woogie-woogie! (~˘▾˘)~ odysseus: awww!! yes!! what a good boy!!(✿◠‿◠) aphemachus: ಠ_ಠ

fun fact, Ody considers leaving Aphe on Calypso's island. Aphe, who's like 8-9 at the time, almost expects him to do so. only on the morning of their departure do they have a heart-to-heart about how Ody was a shitty, emotionally unavailable father, and how Aphe only ever wanted to be loved.

fun fact 2, telegonus will make another appearance later ٩(๑･ิᴗ･ิ)۶

[bonefall]

the note about goldenflower being a consideration for firestars first deputy is so fascinating. like I definitely don't want her to take whitestorms role and die in that battle, her surviving so long is much needed but. the idea of her becoming deputy is so juicy. just the moment when firestar walks out into his first gathering and tigerstar not only has to deal with HIM but also the fact that his ex wife who hates him after their extremely bitter divorce is the new deputy. oh god and bramble eventually taking over that role too. thank you for your work and this little note in particular that im chewing on

You see my vision lmao, yeah, the biggest reason I would not make Goldenflower the deputy is because I need that deputy to die versus BloodClan. It fits Whitestorm, and makes an excellent moment for his dying breath to be telling Fireheart to release his grudges because Longtail should be his next deputy.

Longtail serves well, then gets blinded while Firestar is away on his buddy comedy roadtrip with Brokenstar, Graystripe surprises everyone by really stepping up and showing good leadership, and so when Firestar comes back he just makes that official. And then Gray gets snatched up by the researchers.

If Goldie took the position, I'd have to incapacitate or kill her for the deputy dramas of TNP - OotS to take place. And like... nooo, I want her around, especially as a really interesting elder.

Goldie really would have been an awesome pick for Firestar's first deputy though, like, PLEASE feel free to take the idea and run with it because it's really good.

Bluestar dying and Firestar's first action is to pick Goldenflower, standing huge and powerful beside him, bringing back up the issue of Tigerstar demanding his children by correcting; "GOLDENFLOWER'S kits." She looks up at her ex-mate from her position below the rock, licking her chop like a threat.

The unspoken challenge; if you manage to get through Firestar, you will be broken against ME. ThunderClan will never be yours, not even in 18 lifetimes.

[nomsfaultau]

Philza Year Wrap

All my Philza designs for my AUs. Or the more interesting ones, limited space and all that.

From left to right:

Dragon + scaled is from Fault

Lab coat is from Where, then, do your loyalties lie?

Antlers is from Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Suit is from Mandatory Family Reunion

Lantern is from Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home

Ragged Crow is from Golden Apples (Gilded Atrophy)

And silly little interaction page!

[hella1975]

ONE EXAM DONE RAGHHHHH

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Medical log, stardate 18935.15. Once more have I seen the tailor go out in his lizard fashion—

[americandreamerss]

science men eh

[h-doodles]

Connection // Consumption // Possession is my way of Love & you are mine as i am yours, various - a web weave for it's quicker & easier (to eat your young) by @pinkcannibal 💖

[maegalkarven]

Also the fact what I'm going to talk Astarion out of ascension while playing as Gale who WILL grab the crown of Karsus for himself-

Like ok, hypocrite.

But also 7000 spawns over there and I am attached to every single one of them, so NO.

[dengswei]

honestly monster next door is everything i've been begging for for big for YEARS like i don't think you'd understand the importance of this drama to me and probably to big too really like i'm just rambling right now because i can't put it into words probably but big deserves this and i hope this is just the beginning of his success & recognition because it's what he deserves after not being recognised for so long

[mermaidsirennikita]

one of the reasons why I enjoy Ali Hazelwood's Bride is that after the hero gets the heroine off for the first time, he (a werewolf) tells her that she "smells like she just came" and she's like well I did so that's nice and he's like no you don't understand now I need to eat you out it's my culture

[atomicwrongs]

When worldbuilding for a fantasy game I really really like making new categories of 'extremely powerful reality-defying entity' instead of labelling everything as gods. Not only is it fun from a world perspective, but defining things with categories and sorting them into neat piles and having sets and lists of things is soooo awesomesauce (<- said neurotypically)