#god man. AUGH. head in my fucking hands

[oflgtfol]

the marble nest is firmly slotting itself into that part of me that has that sickly warm bittersweet fascination with death and dying

[lanabuckybarnes]

💳💳💳 take all my money but pleeeeease write more about dirty big boy Lee who wants to give you his son because that small drabble had me sweatin already😮‍💨

Ask and thee shall receive!

Breeding Bitch

18+ MINORS DNI

(I do not own any photos, Credits to original owners)

Uhhh so this is fucking….maybe the warnings would describe this a bit better hehe 👀.

Pairing: Lee Bodecker x Reader

Warnings: Dark Lee!, LEE BODECKER!!, Dub/Non-Con Themes, Unestablished Age Gap but there is definitely one (Reader 20s, Lee late 30s/40s), Cheating (it's Lee), Teeny Size Kink if you squint, Names: Darlin, Good Girl, Baby, Slut, Bitch, Whore, Heifer, Girl. Handcuffing, Good ole Gaslighting, Degradation, Gagging, Dirty Talk, Cervix Abuse, Voyeurism? (Your father is in the next room), He uses the fact that your Pa is so close to his advantage, Mentions of Breeding, actually Breeding, Alcohol (Again, It’s Lee), Marking, Biting, Slapping, Bleeding (from yer cooch), Spitting, Daddy Kink, Rough P in V, Threats (Lee threatens your teeth), Dacryphilia, Panty Stuffing, Absolutely zero aftercare— if I’ve missed anymore, especially in a story like this one, please lemme know!!

DO NOT PROGRESS IF ANY WARNING(s) TRIGGER YOU PLEASE!!

Word Count: 1.2k

This is a doozy. I’ll put a lil palette cleanse at the end for you my loves ♥️

“Augh shit you’re fucking tight” Lee growls above you, cock head pushed uncomfortably against your cervix, your hands cuffed above your head and your panties in your mouth.

You would never admit this to anyone. The almost nightly occurrences of Lee ending up in your little cottage on the hill, his pants round his ankles and his cock wherever he so chose.

It was his wife’s fault, he’d told you; she was sick, old and unable to give him what he wanted. That’s why when you moved into town, bright-eyed and innocent, he had to have you.

His head rolled with his eyes, a strained groan flowing from his lips as his tummy jiggled softly at the tightening of his core.

“Never get over a tight little pussy like this” You whined as he pushed further, sheathing his dick fully inside you.

What would your daddy say if he saw you like this, legs spread akimbo for a married man, the Sheriff no less? Your hands pulled against the cuffs attached to the headboard, the rhythmic clanging had Lee’s eyes shooting open.

“Hey now! Darlin” a huge hand smoothed over your metal clasped wrists before running down your arm to your left breast, he squeezed firmly.

“You wouldn’t want your daddy waking up now would you?” that fucking smirk, the dark look in his eyes— he had you, right where he wanted— the reminder of your feeble old Pa in the next room keeping you tamed, Lee didn’t care about him finding out about your little secret, he’d fuck you right in front of him, but he knew it would keep you pliant for him.

You stopped, hands hanging painfully from the cuffs.

“Good girl, knew you’d come around…now you let me breed this little cunt, loosen up a bit, enjoy it” The brandy on his breath had you queasy as it mixed with his residual cologne. His thick lips peppered marks all over your breast, tongue licking the flesh before biting down with a force that had your toes curling and you crying out into the cotton of your panties.

“Oh don’t be dramatic” he chuckled, slapping the reddened mark lightly. He groaned as he pulled his length out slowly, letting you feel each inch run over the stretched flesh of your heat until his cock head fell from you in a sickly squelch, his precum mixed with your blood.

“God baby, you’re fucking soaked…you like me doing this to you? Course you do you fucking slut” Lee gleams wickedly before launching a huge glob of spit over your clit and his head, his thick fingers circling your clit once, twice and then rubbing the saliva over himself.

He keeps your head still, forcing you to look at him as he pushes in again, making you watch as his dark eyes swim with amusement at your pathetic little whimpers.

“Mmmn…you know, if I didn’t have to do this, I’d feel bad for your stupid little face” Lee laughs, slapping his fingers against your cheek mockingly.

His patience had worn thin, you were lucky enough to get this much prep from him but he was over it now— the growing itch to fill your fertile little hole with his cum becoming too overwhelming.

He slams in, hitting your already abused cervix painfully. His pace is brutal, the only thing stopping the headboard from clattering off the wall being the pillow he’d so ‘generously’ placed between them.

“Oh shit! you fucking little breeding bitch, ahh I ain’t ever had a pussy this tight… fucking made for me, wasn’t it? Yeah, it fucking was” Lee rambles, as he usually does. You could do nothing but take whatever he was giving you, you wouldn’t dare fight back— did you even want to at this point? He had you all cock drunk, stupid little baby so you were.

“Mmm, baby you like this” Lee spoke assertively, punctuating each word with a hard thrust “Push me away as much as you want but at the end of the day you’re still gonna take my load happily… I mean look” he laughs as he pushes your legs from his wide shoulders, they fall open on their own. “You fucking hold yourself open for my spunk, you fucking want this, you need it… you want my son ya little slut”

The quick yank of your panties from your mouth made you gag slightly, the drool that had gathered falling from the corner of your mouth and into your tresses of hair. It amused Lee, watching you stare off into that little space you ran to, unable to control your body— you let him fuck you however he wante— no, however you needed.

Lee’s hand clasped around your face painfully, his thumb hooking behind your teeth “fucking answer me whore, or I’ll pull these out” a firm tug to your lower jaw warned you before he spat again, the hot liquid falling right on your tongue.

“I want this… wan you! Want your baby! Please Lee gimme your baby” you wailed, no longer caring about your volume.

“Good little slut, always begging for daddy ain’t you? You take this fucking baby, you take everything I give you” Lee’s pace stuttered, only for a second, but it told you everything you needed to know and you were disgusted at the way your body pled for it. The way your back arched, your pussy squeezing and frantic cries fell from your lips as your orgasm slammed into you like a train.

“Oh shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Lee practically screamed as he sank himself into one last time, releasing spurt after spurt of his thick, hot, cream against your bruised womb entrance. You don’t know how long his dick sat in your throbbing canal, only falling from you once he was fully soft.

“God, who’d I fucking bless to get a little heifer like you hmm?” He spoke eventually, kissing your cheek, allowing his tongue to poke out and lap at the salty tears falling freely from your big sad eyes.

“Don’t look so fucking upset at this, it’s a good thing, you’re being used for something great…I know girls that would have their panties round their ankles in no time if I let them” He chuckled while standing, fingers gripping your discarded undergarments to wipe along his cock, gathering his cum, and your slick; which had a tinge of red from the tear in your fragile skin he caused by stretching you out.

Once he deemed himself clean enough, he ran the panties through the mess pouring from your core.

“This won’t do, you’re supposed to keep it in” He tutted before pushing the soaked material into your stretched hole, his fingers stuffing the scratchy fabric into you carelessly. He made quick work of the cuffs digging painfully into your wrists, placing a quick peck over each dark mark around them.

“Tomorrow, I don’t want none of this fighting bullcrap you hear? No panties, no bra, no attitude— just you, alright girl?” He pushed your cheeks together, puckering your lips in the process.

You knew that what you said to him wouldn’t matter, he’d take you all the same so you just nodded like you would every single time his cerulean stare flickered over your much smaller structure.

“Atta girl” His lips grazed over your own, and then like a ghost, he was gone, leaving you to sob in a pile of your own mess.

-

I’m so sorry for him, he’s not usually like this, I promise he’s a nice guy 😔 🚩

Here’s your payment~

[wickjump]

Not exactly hurt comfort but I am enjoying the idea that every time Cross reveals something about his past/childhood it slowly but surely makes the team angry. Like he happens to share a "funny story" or mention how he was treated and one by one the gang is horrified to the point where if xgaster actually showed up in the same au as them they would all be gunning for him immediately.

Also the stars showing up during this fight and like Dream: Nightmare stop this!! What are you doing to- Nightmare: (goops over and whispers something in Dream's ear) Dream: WHAT?? No fuck that (starts aiming his arrows at xgaster)

IVE SPOKEN ABOUT THIS SO MANY TIMES WITH FRIENDS/MUTUALS I AGREE SO MYCH HE HAS SO MANY TRAUMATIZING CHILDHOOD STORIES HE INTERNALLY NORMALIZED GOD. HE DOESNT REALIZE HOW BAD IT WAS AND THE REACTIONS HE GETS ARE UNNERVING. THANK YOU FOR THIS AND OTHER CROSS RELATED ASKS YOURE SO GOOD WITH THEM THEYRE MY FAVORITE

ok ya this is just plain whump warning for lotsa child abuse including physical. like beating the shit out of an 8 year old physical. also I’m so tired right now

chances are that’s not even the worst of it because you know his seven year old ass was told ‘don’t tell anyone about me beating you to near death’ and he still sticks to that. but he speaks about abuse he doesn’t even grasp counts as abuse.

withholding food. sleeping in the yard. eating food on the floor while the others sat at the dinner table as punishment (or to eat out of a dog bowl on the ground i had to do that once lol). as a kid still scared of the dark he was locked in dark rooms until he got over his fear (he’s still scared to this day but he won’t seek help because he doesn’t want to be punished again). cross touched something he wasn’t supposed to? put your hand on the burning hot stove for however many seconds that item was worth in G (maybe divided by 5/10), or until he cried.

cruel and unusual punishments were xgaster’s forte but he tells them like funny stories to the horror of literally everyone around him.

cross is not coping well with figuring out that no that’s not normal and no that’s fucked up. most of his scars are probably from xgaster (excluding the red one on his face obv). and when he delves into the traditional abuse it gets worse somehow?? anyway xgaster is on THE multiversal hitlist. star sanses and bad sanses all want his head on a wall. even ink because ink didn’t know about the abuse because xgaster never told him for obvious reasons and it’s not like cross was willing to share.

i think that once he starts talking about the abuse he can’t stop (same) and he’s just. slowly crying and eventually hyperventilating and oh he’s been holding onto that for SO long. and then he hates that he told people because he wasn’t supposed to and is scared that they’ll see him less or punish him for some reason or hate him now, but he isn’t expecting to be comforted after? wtf? he doesn’t grasp that saying ‘yeah i got in trouble at school so my dad beat me until i lost two of my baby teeth and got a temporary crack in my skull’ normally results in being hugged or something. like dude you were 8 wtf. and he’s so scared but he just wants to feel safe AUGH HE MAKES MY HEART HURT. like dude, he almost beat papyrus at a time he was so young he had to use a step-stool to reach the sink to brush his teeth :( dude…

anyway ya cross is me fr (the burning hand stove happened once/twice to me actually idk i was like 5 lol. my grandfather is not the best man) and he deserves to go through hell on earth and be tortured in his childhood i think. oh and experience comfort or whatever after idk. kross maybe because their dynamic is ‘my childhood was ruined’ x ‘my adulthood was ruined’ and i think that’s sweet. or mtt + cross poly with nightmare as the outlier wondering why they’re so affectionate all of a sudden (he’s aroace…)

BUT THATS SELF INDULGENT LMAO what really matters is how much we torture the poor lad that is cross 🥰

also make him trans because abuse isn’t enough he needs extreme dysphoria all of the time. xgaster isn’t transphobic btw this is independent from everything else

[cardierreh15]

Knight in Shining Leather

I do not give anyone permission to repost or copy my work!!!

Warning 18+: Violence , Cursing , Attempted SA , Blood , Gore .

Pairing: Geralt Of Rivia(modern) x Nessa (Black!Plus Size Female)

Description: Geralt being a knight in shining armor.

Word Count: 2.2K

One shot

It was a beautiful autumn night. The night’s air smelled of cinnamon and pumpkin. With it being just cool enough for her to wear a cardigan over her shoulders. Pretty soon, she would get too warm to even rock it.

It was roughly 9:45pm and she had come from a night out with the girls. Her best friend insisted that she drive her home since she stayed so close by. But Nessa was too hardheaded to let her do that. Besides, the walk wasn’t even 20 minutes away.

But a lot can happen in 20 minutes can it?

Her thick heeled boots clicked loudly on the asphalt, echoing throughout the street and bouncing off of the other buildings. She lived in a small town, so it was no surprise that almost everyone was in the house by now.

Nessa had her hands tucked in her pockets, at this point walking absentmindedly. She didn’t even realize there were two men walking about a few yards behind her. She didn’t think much of it, perhaps they were trying to make it to their destination too.

But their footsteps grew a little impatient.

This caused her to take further strides; holding her purse tightly in her arm as she tried to sneak her hand into it to retrieve her pepper spray.

‘Get her!’ One of the males exclaimed.

A panicked gasp escaped her lips as she did her best to take off but they were close enough to snatch her up by her cardigan. ‘HELP!’ She exclaimed before a man placed his large hand over her mouth and held a butterfly blade against her face. ‘Shhhh, shhh. Now, just be a good girl.’ He whispered against her ear.

She then bit down into his fingers and stepped on his foot. The criminal yelped out in agonizing pain.

‘Fuck you!’ She exclaimed before she was instantly grabbed by another male.

‘Get the bitch into the alley!’

‘No! No! Stop!’ Nessa begged and pleaded as she tried her best to fight back. But they weren’t having it.

They slammed her against the wall and she whimpered out in pain. ‘Urgh!’ She fell to her hands and knees. ‘Please— take whatever I have… it’s all material— I don’t want it! Please.’ She insisted, sobbing as she held her chest.

The bald headed guy began to dump out all of the contents in her purse and searched through it. ‘Awww, the bitch ain’t got nothin’. Lipstick, tampons, some other make up, — a wallet…’ he then looked at her name and then started going through her wallet where he snatched out $500. ‘I found a jackpot…’ then he walked over to the the ginger haired gentleman who towered above her.

‘How much ya find?’

‘$500. And It’s a Chanel wallet, taking that too.’ The male chuckled.

Nessa was on her knees before them as if she were praying to her God. Her hands shook as if her bones were chilling in the Arctic.

‘Nice,’ the ginger chuckled as the bald guy passed him some cash. ‘Now, the question is… what do we do with you?’

‘Hmmm. She’s pretty cute. She’s thicker than the rest of em. And you know I looove when they fight.’ He said as he shoved the wallet and the cash in his back pocket.

She instantly knew what baldy meant, and it caused her to panic a bit more. Until suddenly, the ginger just happened to step out of the way, and the bright LED street light caused a thick shard of glass to glisten in her eye.

Carefully leaning down as the two men bickered about who were going to have their turn with her first, she then grabbed the glass in her hand and waited.

The ginger sighed and rolled his eyes, ‘whatever. Fuck it. I’ll hold her still.’ He then squat down before her, ‘Alright sweet heart, you’re gonna—‘

Nessa instantly swiped the glass upward, aiming to stab him beneath his chin but instead, slicing his cheek.

‘AUGH!’ He practically jumped back; feeling the stinging pain at his cheek. Ginger grabbed the gasp and looked at the bright red blood in his palm. ‘You fucking bitch!’

His partner instantly brought her up to her feet, disarmed her and slapped her across her face so hard, he split the inside of her cheek.

She fell to the ground, her mind spinning as if she had swallowed a whole bottle of tequila. She could only hear the sound of their voices. They were so loud in her ears.

‘Kill that bitch! Kill her!’

She didn’t even know who was saying, all she knew was that she was pretty sure she was going to die in this filthy ass alley. And it would probably take her loved ones days to find her knowing these fools.

The ginger some how had the strength to pull her up to her feet. ‘You fucking— BITCH!’ And he kneed her in the stomach before she fell back down to the ground again. He kicked her, several times in the ribs.

Nessa whimpered out, choking on the air that was fighting so hard to come into her lungs. She lifted her hand up, in a “I surrender” kind of way, ‘please. Stop.’ She was too weak to scream for hell at this point.

‘Stop? Haha… oh wait til we’re done with you… get her up.’ Ginger said to Baldy.

Suddenly, everything felt like it was moving much slower than she was. Between the two antagonists, was a pair of bright golden eyes that reflected in the shadows. She thought she was hallucinating so she just laid there, accepting her fate that was to come.

When Baldy lifted her up to her feet, her head rest back against the brick wall. ‘Come on… make it quick.’ She breathed out tiredly.

Ginger chuckled and then Baldy chimed in. ‘Suit yourself.’

Suddenly, a bright flash whipped through the air like something out of a supernatural movie.

Nessa felt Baldy’s grip on her grow weaker and she noticed a thin line across his neck. A dribble of blood came leaking from his lips and his nose. She then noticed the sunken glare in his eyes.

His neck became a waterfall of his blood and a millisecond later, his head fell to wet the concrete and his body followed.

Nessa felt her stomach turn at the sight. She stumbled backwards in fear; immediately covering her lips to hold back the throw up that tried to fight its way out.

Ginger let out a scream as he saw his buddy’s head roll at his feet.

She felt too damn sick and scared to move really. Also, she couldn’t get over — how could someone be that talented with a blade that:

A.) No blood had spilled on her.

And

B.) None of them were able to see or hear him coming.

Ginger instantly pulled his gun out and walked over towards Nessa. ‘Whose there!? Come out!’ He snatched her up and pointed the gun at her head. ‘Come out! Or I swear to God, I will blow this bitch’s brains out!’

‘Please—‘ she started as she held her hands up.

‘SHUT UP!’ Ginger yelled as he looked all around. ‘Alright,’ he then clicked off the safety, ‘I’ll give you to the count of 3… come out— with your hands up… and I won’t kill her…’

‘Why would you think they’d come out for me?! I-I don’t even know what’s going on!’ She said out as she wiped her bloodied nose.

‘Shut. The fuck. Up. I swear you’re making this so much easier!’ He said as he continued to look around, ‘ONE! …. TWO!….’ He pressed the barrel against the back of her skull.

On three, a white haired male stepped from out of the shadows; those damn golden eyes making an appearance before he did. He wore black leather, and held a huge sword in his right hand. He had a scowl on his face that could kill instantly.

Ginger’s mouth fell slightly as he watched the tall, unearthly being approach the both of them. He stepped back, ‘Y—you… it can’t be. B-BACK UP!’

He just kept walking towards them. The sound of metal clinked with each step.

Ginger had finally hit the wall and Nessa looked back at the both of them.

‘Y—you’re dead! Y-you’re suppose to be dead!’

‘Says who?’ The white haired male asked, ‘You?’ His head fell to the side. Then he looked behind him, noticing the women who still stood there. He then looked back towards Ginger, ‘Go ahead… shoot her.’

Nessa’s eyebrows tugged into one in confusion. She wanted to impose on this reunion but she was hurting too bad to talk.

Ginger’s bottom lip trembled as much as his wrist did when he held that gun.

‘Go ahead…’

Ginger swallowed his spit, glancing over at the beautiful woman. He just didn’t have the guts.

The white haired male let out a sigh, ‘I knew it,’ and stabbed Ginger in his abdomen with the shiny sword.

Ginger began to choke. Wheezing as if he’d punctured his lung.

Nessa let out a harsh gasp and covered her lips in shock.

‘You’re… a coward.’ He twisted the blade to open the gaping wound more, ‘You pray on the weak… women and children… you and your friend don’t deserve to breathe for another second.’

He then snatched out the sword from Ginger’s abdomen and the male fell forward.

Nessa just stood in her spot, watching the man who just tried to kill her moments before, choke on his own blood and eventually took his last breath as the rest of him seeped into the cracks and crannies of the destroyed asphalt.

She was too frightened to scream, to run but also… her body was riddled with pain. Anything extreme would’ve probably caused her to pass out. So instead she asked, ‘A-are you gonna kill me next?’

The being then pulled out a dark cloth and wiped his shiny sword off in one swipe, ‘If I wanted … you’d be dead already.’

Well that was quite evident. She took in a deep breath as she just watched him sheath his sword and bend down to go in Ginger’s pocket.

She peaked over, ‘… he-he said you were suppose to be dead… are you like someone important?’

He didn’t say anything, instead he retrieved her money from the corpse and then ventured to the next.

‘Could I at least— know your name?’ She asked as she began to pick up her purse and the rest of her belongings. ‘You did save me after all, I would like to know who you are… In case I don’t ever see you again.’

He smirked as he grabbed her wallet out of the headless corpse and looked at her ID. She had a glorious smile. A smile that could turn any rainy day into sunshine.

Vanessa Hodge, December 18th, 1997, Address…

He took a mental note of her address before slowly rising to his feet and walked over to her.

She looked from his hands to his chest, that donned a silver necklace with a wolf engraved in it. She wondered what that meant.

‘Here,’ His voice brought her out of her thinking trance, ‘Your things.’ He looked down at her as she rose to her feet and threw her purse over her shoulder.

‘Thank you.’ She said softly before wincing at the pain in her cheek.

He lifted her chin to examine her.

Nessa hissed at the sudden, searing pain.

‘They most certainly did a number on you…’ he said as he looked at her split eyebrow. ‘Come. Let’s get you fixed up.’

‘Alright… only— if you do me a tiny favor?’

‘Hmm.’ A mere stranger, asking him for favors? He wasn’t the type to be handing those out. Especially without pay.

Yeah, she had no idea who he was.

‘You tell me your name…’

Was that it? She wanted to know his name? She almost got taken advantage of, got her shit pushed in and almost got her brains blown out but — she wanted to know his name?

‘I-I think it’s fair… I’d like to know who my knight in … shiny leather is.’

It grew quiet once more before he rested his hand on the handle of his sword and lifted his head with a gentle smirk.

‘I mean I think it’s also fair because you’re still a complete stranger and—‘

‘For someone who is in a lot of pain, you sure do talk a lot.’ He said as he shifted his weight and folded his massive arms across his chest.

Nessa felt the heat rise to her neck, her cheeks and then her ears. She looked off to the side, trying to avoid eye contact for a moment.

God you’re gonna blow this.

‘My name is Geralt. Now, if that is all you request, we should leave now.’

She let out a gentle puff of air and quickly walked towards him, ‘Lead the way.’ She shrugged.

Geralt swiftly turned around and they headed in the direction Nessa was heading.

‘So, you’re gonna tell me what you do and why you walk around with those things?’ She asked; swiping her dainty manicured finger at his silver handle.

‘No.’ He mused

‘And— Please don’t touch the swords.’ He said, hearing the cling that she left behind with her touch.

‘Oh— sorry.’

[eating-plastic]

Carnival Lights: Henry Barrow x Reader

Warnings: mentions of murder (come on, it's Henry), swearing, some mean!Henry, naive!reader, sunshine!reader x grumpy!Henry (my favorite dynamic lol), some fluff, probably grammatical errors

Word Count: 3434 words

A/N: This is for that anon that asked me if I wrote for Henry Barrow (assuming that they wanted me to write something for him lol). I know I said I was going to take a break from Killer Frequency, but the “people pleaser” in me wanted to get something done. So yeah, I hope this isn't too disappointing. I also hope that my interpretation of Henry is to your liking (you gotta get creative when given a blank slate like him 😆). As such, I also hope anyone else that is a fan of this skrunkly also enjoys this as well. Oh, also, this takes place before the events of the game during Marie and Henry's "national murder tour" leading up to Gallows Creek. Just thought you should know that. Bye!

--------------------

Sparkling lights and the sound of upbeat music and screams of excitement flood your senses as you skip through the crowds attending your hometown's yearly carnival. You had always partaken in the festivities ever since you were a child, and the event still filled you with joy. Some of the older booth vendors and ride operators even knew you by name.

You had originally shown up with two of your friends, promising that they wouldn't get too "lovey-dovey" with each other since they were a couple, but that was broken about 15 minutes into your arrival. Feeling like a third-wheel, you broke off from them, not really caring too much. You could easily enjoy yourself here without them.

After you finished playing a game where you had to try and hit cartoon sea creatures with a water gun (and failing since your aim wasn't the best), you decided to head to something you knew you were good at: the funhouse maze.

You knew the maze like the back of your hand, and could easily make it from the entrance to the exit, so you decided to see how many combinations of routes you could go. You wanted to know every nook and cranny that these dark, black light lighten halls had to offer.

Once you got bored, you began to make your way to the exit. Once at a crossroad where you needed to turn right, you stopped when you heard a man let out a shout of frustration. Worried that they were lost, you made your way towards the noise to help them out.

'God fucking damnit,' Henry thought. He was so fucking close to getting the man his mother told him to kill. He was right on his tail and then...he was gone. Now he was lost in this Goddamn maze and it was all his stupid fault because he knew he wasn't good with mazes. It was a good idea in theory, since the man would be all alone with no one would hear him scream. But of course in practice it had to bite him in the ass.

He tore his mask off and shoved it into his large duffle bag at his side. God, was it making it hard to breathe in this stuffy prison. Not to mention how that man was probably long gone by now.

'Augh, what am I gonna tell mom?' worry began to flood his mind. She was no doubt going to be pissed at him.

Luckily for Henry, his unaware savior was approaching.

--------------------

As soon as you rounded the corner, you were now facing a man of decent stature, with long hair, a black trench coat, and a large duffle bag at his side. It was quite odd attire to be wearing in the middle of summer, but maybe he was just a worker at the haunted house who wanted to try out the maze on his break. He also seems to be oblivious to your presence, muttering to himself.

"Hi!" you chirp, causing the man to jump and spin around.

"The hell are you doing, here?" he hisses.

"Uh, it's a maze at a carnival. I'm here having fun," his harsh tone was completely lost on you. "You're lost, right?"

"What do you think?" he snarls, but you just laugh.

"Yep! I thought so! Come on, I'll show you the way out," you grab his hand, noting that he was wearing black leather gloves. Also odd, but once again that could've been just another part of the haunted house attire.

The man rips his hand from your grip as if yours had burnt his. You look back at him confused, but just shrug and begin to run off towards the exit.

"Hey, wait!" the man shouts and begins to chase after you, making sure to be on your tail so he could leave.

Eventually, you and him were able to taste the fresh air of the carnival, with the added smell of fair foods. You turn to look at the man, only to be taken aback a bit.

He looked to be a boy about your age, with piercing eyes but a very handsome face. You also noticed that he was unfamiliar to you.

"Huh, I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you new?" you smile at him, but he just turns to walk back towards the crowded rows of booths. "Hey, wait up!"

You decide to follow him. If he was new, you didn't want him to be overwhelmed or lonely.

"I'm Y/N!" you grin, but he just continues walking forwards. His eyes scanning the crowds and his jaw tight.

"Oh, you don't talk much, huh? That's okay! What do you wanna do? Do you wanna get something to eat? Oh! Or we co-"

"Look, don't you have friends or something that you can go hang out with?" he asks sharply. Unfortunately for Henry, the tone was once again lost on you.

"I do, but they'd rather make out in the tunnel of love than hang out with me," your tone drops slightly which makes Henry's eyebrow quirk up. After a couple of seconds though, just shake your head and smile back at him. "It's okay though, because I met you! I love meeting new people!"

'Jesus, what was your deal?' Henry thought. You were like a Care Bear in human shape. So sickeningly sweet that it was making him feel weird. How could someone like you exist in the cruel world his mom had told him so much about? Has it not broken you, yet?

"Oh, look! Bumper cars! You wanna go do those?" you beam up at him. Henry sighed. If he put up with this, maybe you would leave him alone. Besides, you provided him good cover. A new face like him dressed the way he was all by himself may drive suspicion. So he turned his head to look at your eager face and uttered one word.

"Fine."

--------------------

You weren't bad at bumper cars, but you also didn't win. Not that you cared though, especially since your mystery man had won. You were surprised at his skills and made sure to tell him.

Henry listening to you gush over him was odd. Not used to getting such praise from someone who wasn't his mother. And like with his mother, it made him feel good.

You continue to skip through the crowds with him at your side. He was still scanning all of the people around you, but his jaw wasn't tight anymore. That elated you, as you took it as him finally enjoying himself. You both stop when you hear someone call your name.

"Is that you, Y/N?" the voice of an older man called from a game booth. Your face brightens and you run to him, Henry following after you.

"Frank! I haven't seen you in ages!" you hug him over the booth's countertop. Henry tenses up and watches the man closely.

"You're one to talk! I haven't seen you since you were just 'this' tall," Frank levels his hand to show just how small you were when he had last seen you. He opens his mouth to speak again, but stops when his eyes fall on Henry. "Hey, Y/N, who's your friend?"

"He's new in town! I saved him from the maze!" you chirp.

"Ah, okay," he drawls, looking at Henry suspiciously. Upon seeing you look at him fondly though, he puts on his best "friendly face" and holds his hand out. "Pleasure to meet you, son."

Henry looks at Frank's hand before shaking it, still analyzing the older man. You are completely oblivious to the tension, as you look at the milk bottles that are stacked up in the booth.

"Hey, Frank! Care if we play?" you pull some tickets out from your back pocket. Frank's mood changes at the sound of your voice and smiles at you.

"Of course! You and your friend here get three shots," he kneels down to hand you three baseballs first.

You throw all three and only get three of the six bottles down.

"Oh, well! Your turn!" you turn to smile at Henry and move out of his way. Frank hands him three baseballs just as he did with you. He takes the ball, pulls his arm back, and....

All six bottles tumble down with a force that startles both you and Frank.

"Well I'll be damned! I have never seen anyone knock those bottles down like that! You play baseball, son?" the older man asks Henry, amazed.

"No," he says, shortly.

The older man clears his throat at the awkward silence before looking towards the stuffed animals that hung around the booth.

"Well, you won. Pick out your prize."

Henry wanted to just walk away, but looked at you in his peripheral. You were staring longingly at a pink elephant plush that had a cute, cartoony face. He points to that one.

"This one right here?" Frank asks, taking the elephant down. Henry nods. "Alright! Here ya go."

Henry takes the stuffed animal and nods at him.

"Bye, Frank!" you call as Henry begins to walk away from the booth.

"Bye, Y/N! See you next year!"

As soon as you both are five feet away from the booth, Henry practically shoves the plush at you.

"Here."

"What-?"

"You wanted it. I got it. Now take it," he says shortly. You look up at him, confused, but he still continues to walk forward and scan the crowd. You take the plushie and smile at it. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, with the softest fur you ever felt.

You squeal and pull Henry into a hug, thanking him. He tenses up and pushes you off.

"What the hell are you doing?" he scowls.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I just w-wanted to...," you trail off, hurt evident in your voice and eyes.

Your change in demeanor causes Henry to feel guilty, and the couple of eyes he could sense on him only added to that feeling. He sighs and rests his hand on your shoulder.

"Look, I'm...I'm sorry, okay. Just...just warn me before you do that again...please," his voice is now soft as he looks at you, wanting you to know that he did really feel sorry.

"Okay," you whisper, still feeling miserable about making him uncomfortable.

"Hey, why don't...," Henry thinks for a second. "Why don't we go on a ride, huh?"

"Okay," a smile forms on your face. "Which one do you wanna go on?"

"Whichever one you'd like," Henry gives you the first genuine smile you had seen that night. This causes your own smile to grow and you take his hand to lead to one of the more thrilling rides. Henry doesn't rip his hand away this time, allowing you to drag him to where you wanted to take him.

Once at the ride you wanted to go on, you handed your elephant to the ride operator and Henry hesitantly gives up his bag, before you enter the ride.

--------------------

By the time the ride had ended, you and Henry were wobbling in the best way possible. Henry let out a shaky laugh. He had never felt so alive. Where had this been his whole life? You let out your own laugh at Henry's reaction, before you and him collect your belongings and go on to do more rides and games. While walking, and even making some small talk with your mystery man, he stops when he spots a phone booth.

Henry thinks about his mother, about his mission. He had to call her, to tell her about how he couldn't get a good opening. He wouldn't mention how he was getting distracted or how he was having fun with a living ray of sunshine. He knew how she would probably react if he was honest.

"Hey, uh, Y/N?"

"Yeah?" you look up at him, beaming.

"I, uh...I have to make a phone call. I-I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay! I'll wait right here!" you chirp.

He nods and gives you a small smile, before walking to the booth.

Henry enters the booth and sighs. He rummages around in his pocket before finding some quarters and inserting them into the machine. He lifts the phone and inserts the number to the motel room he and his mother were staying in. He waits, tapping his foot nervously as he waits. Then it stops, and a familiar voice speaks from the other end.

"Yes?" his mother says.

"H-Hi, mom."

"Oh, Henry!" her voice is cheerful. "Did you finish your 'assignment'?"

"No, I haven't. I can't get a good opening," he doesn't mention that he had lost the man to begin with. "Besides, this one person won't leave me alone. They're constantly following me around and bothering me."

His mom sighs on the other end and thinks.

"I'll be over there in a bit. Keep trying, dear. And remember, if you do find your opening, do what you must. Poor kid," she mutters towards the end of the statement.

Henry's stomach drops. He knows instantly what she meant. He didn't want to hurt you. You had nothing to do with...with all of this. You were an innocent, sweet person in this miserable world. Why get rid of someone like you?

"Henry, sweetie, you there?" his mother questions.

"Y-Yeah, yeah, I, uh...I was just looking around. Look, don't worry about coming over. I got this, I promise. I'll call you if I need you, okay?"

"Hm...okay," she pauses, clearly skeptical at her son's words. "Please just stay safe, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, mom. Bye."

"Goodbye."

There is a click, and then the line goes dead. Henry lets out a shaky breath and sets the phone back on its cradle. A knock at the booth startles him out of his thoughts. He turns around to see you looking at him, concerned.

He opens the door to the booth and steps out.

"Sorry," you apologize. "I just wanted to know if you wanted something to eat. Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, yeah...don't worry about it, okay? Food, uh...food sounds great."

"Okay. What would you like?" Henry thinks for a moment before cracking a smile at you.

"Surprise me!"

You nod and walk off to find a food booth. You knew exactly what you wanted to get. You had been craving it ever since you entered the carnival grounds.

Henry followed behind you, curious as to what you were going to get as you passed booth after booth. Then you stop, just what you were looking for.

"I was wondering when you were gonna show up," a woman greets you.

"Hi, Pam!" you smile at her and hand her some dollar bills. "Two candied apples, please!"

"Two?" Pam cocks her head to the side until her eyes fall on Henry. "Oh, I see."

She smirks, interpreting the mystery man besides you and how you were lovingly holding your elephant plush as a date.

A few moments later, Pam turns back to you and Henry with two candied apples in her hands.

"Enjoy, you two!" she winks at you when you and Henry take your treats. The two of you walk once more, while Henry investigates the sweet in his hand. You look over at him and laugh.

"What? Have you never had a candied apple before?"

"Uh, no actually. Are...are they your favorite?" he asks.

"Uh huh!" you nod eagerly. "I have to have at least one when the carnival's up!"

It was true. Ever since you had the teeth to eat them, candied apples had been your favorite treat, even with all of the cavities you had gotten over the years because of them.

Henry slowly raises the apple to his lips and bites down. The taste causes him to pause. He had never tasted something so sweet. It seemed fitting that they were your favorite.

"You like it?" you ask.

He nods his head, before he takes another bite.

--------------------

"So you really aren't gonna leave tomorrow?" you look at Henry sadly.

"Yeah, I-I'm, um...I'm afraid so."

You had learned that Henry was just visiting your hometown on a road trip with his mom. You thought that was fun, because your family always goes on road trips every summer, and yet you were going to miss your new mystery friend.

"Oh, Y/N! There you are!"

You and Henry turn around, seeing your two friends running towards you.

"Yeah, we were really worried!"

That causes Henry to stare daggers at them. They were worried? If they were so Goddamned worried about your safety, then they wouldn't have abandoned you.

"Uh, Y/N...who's this?" they both look at the man beside you that was making them feel uncomfortable under his stare.

'Good,' Henry thought.

"Oh, this is just my friend I made who kept me company this whole time," your voice is still cheerful, but you were still trying to guilt them. Henry smirks at that.

"Oh, well, uh...it's-it's getting late. We should start heading home."

Your eyes widen at that and you look down at your watch. It was almost midnight. God, your parents were gonna kill you.

"Yeah, you guys head to the entrance. I'll catch up!" your friends look at the boy besides you. Despite being the same age as them, something about him didn't seem right. They slowly turn around and do as you told them. As you watch them go, you hear a certain someone mutter something behind you.

"Henry."

"What?" you turn to look up at him.

"That's my name," Henry says.

You try the name out and smile. The sound of you saying his name made his chest feel weird.

"You look like a 'Henry'," you quip.

"That a bad thing?" he quirked an eyebrow at you.

"Nope!" you giggle and shake your head. Your demeanor changes and you awkwardly fiddle for something in your back pocket.

"Here," you hand him a small slip of paper.

Henry takes the paper and unravels it, a phone number revealing itself to him.

"Just in case you wanna keep in touch, o-or you know...just letting me know if you're gonna be in town again," you sheepishly state, squeezing the elephant in your arms. You had written your number down when he went off to make his phone call. You felt silly since you didn’t even know his name yet, but you knew you liked him either way.

"I, uh...I think I'll do just that," he smiles at you and puts the paper in his pocket. You smile back.

"I'm gonna hug you. Is that okay?"

Henry laughs, before opening his arms to you. You wrap one of your arms around him and he wraps his arms around your waist. Neither of you want to pull away, knowing that it would mean the end of your night together and who knows how long until you see each other again.

Unfortunately, your friends were waiting for you and he had a mission that you were unaware of. You pull away first.

"Goodbye, Henry," you quickly press a peck to his cheek. He tenses, but then looks at you shyly.

"Y-Yeah...goodbye, Y/N," a shade of pink crosses his face. He then clears his throat before pointing to your plushie. "You take good care of him."

You giggle and nod your head, before turning and walking away from him. Not even five feet away from him, you turn back and wave both your hand and your elephant's arm goodbye. Henry shakes his head and smiles, lifting his hand up to give a small wave of his own.

He stood there, watching your figure get smaller and smaller, until you disappeared into the crowd entirely.

--------------------

The man was killed swiftly in the haunted house of all places. No one suspected a thing, believing that the body was just a prop and the screams just sound effects.

Now Henry was laying down on his bed in the motel room his mother had rented. She was in the bathroom washing his knife and mask.

He could still hear the noises of the crowds cheering, feel the shakiness in his limbs after a thrill ride, taste the candied apple on his tongue, and feel your kiss on his cheek.

Perhaps when he and his mother got into the next town and had to split up again, he would see if that number you gave him was real.

[tiredcatboysinc]

The icing on the cake

Dude, what do you mean I wrote all of this in one day huh wuh =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪‧̣̥̇)

ao3

“Hey, what’s your favorite flavor?” “In what context? .3.”

“Cake.”

“Vanilla :3”

“Okay.”

Those messages had been sent over a week ago by now, and Allan’s question is still plaguing your thoughts. Why did he need your favorite cake flavor..? Nothing was coming up… Your birthday wasn’t until a few more months… Hmm… Augh!! What could this little critter need with your favorite cake flavor???

Well, it was obvious he was planning something. How do you know? Because Allan normally texts you every morning, 8 am sharp. But now, he’s been faltering… Sometimes messaging at 8:05 or even 8:20. Something was up, and you would figure it out one way or another!!

So, first things first… You can’t directly ask Allan, no, no, no!! That’s too direct, and there's no way if he was planning something he’d tell you. No, Allan was cautious… but not cautious enough. You knew he’d have had to have told someone in the office, if not directly then they’d overheard his insane rambling. 

You hum, leaning over the table in the breakroom. Your elbow rested on the hard surface, digging into the material as you thought. Your mouth quirked unevenly, brows furrowing in frustration. Who to ask first…

“Hey, whatcha doin’ man?” Charlie questions as he saunters into the breakroom, looking as nonchalant as ever. Quickly, you shot up from your seat. As you slammed a hand down you pointed at Charlie, causing him to flinch slightly. “MR. DOMPLER!” You shout, eyes ecstatic in hope. Charlie looks around nervously, chuckling softly at your antics. 

“Uh, yeah? What’s up?” He sits at the table, leaning in the chair as you lower your arm. Swiftly, you whip your phone from your pocket to show him the messages. Pointing to Allan’s text you begin to question him, “WHERE WERE YOU ON THIS TIME AND DATE????” You blink rapidly as you point to the date of the messages. Charlie furrows his brow, scratching at his neck as he cranes his head back in thought. He pops his lips, clicking his tongue as he grumbles. 

“Uhhh, fuck… Dude, I dunno… Probably at home drinking… or smoking, one or the other.” He chuckles, turning back to you. Squinting your eyes at him suspiciously at him you hum, pursing your lips. “A likely story… Then you wouldn’t know why Allan wants my favorite cake flavor, would you???” You accuse him, widening your eyes and blinking rapidly. 

Charlie scoffs in mock offense, smiling playfully and furrowing his brows. He waves his hand dismissively, chuckling. “Whaat? Me, know anything ever? Nah, man…” He pauses, “Though, speaking hypothetically… If I did know something… I’d say go and ask Glep.” He chuckles as a broad smile cracks over his face. You lean back, crossing your arms over your chest in thought. A hum of satisfaction leaves your lips, a small smile quirking upon them.

“Hmm… Okay then!” You chirped, taking your leave from the breakroom. Charlie sighed, letting a chuckle of amusement choke from his throat. “God, those two are so fucking in love…”

Glep was somewhere, and nowhere at the same time. How did that make sense? You didn’t know, but Glep always found their ways… They were slippery and hard to get ahold of when you needed them, of course, when they weren’t needed you could find them anywhere you looked. Right now was not the latter, Glep was nowhere to be found and you were positively stumped. 

You grumbled in annoyance, deciding to give u your hunting and think your impulsive plan a once over… Maybe Allan wasn’t doing anything, maybe he had been asking out of curiosity. However, that didn’t explain the late texts. It also didn’t explain anything really… Allan doesn’t ask just for asking, he asks for purposes. You run your hands over your face, rubbing harshly at your temples. Come one brain, do some thinking here… 

…

…….

AUGH!!! Dammit!! Damn that critter!! There’s no reason he would get you cake!! Nothing is coming up, is there??? Nothing that you can think of…

Vrttt.. Vrtt…

Your phone buzzes softly in your pocket, catching you off guard for a split second. You fumble to grab it from its confines, swiping it open to see a text from the critter himself…

“Are you at the office?”

“Yeah”

“Okay.”

You wait for a second, a minute, and another minute, but no more texts come. Urgh, fuck, Allan!! Why did you have to be such a dry-ass texter??? A sigh of disappointment looms in the air as you return to the breakroom, Charlie now nowhere to be seen and Glep still unable to be found. You grumble with aggravation, the dread of having to wait for Allan seeping into your skin. 

Fuck it, you might as well just doomscroll for a while… And so you did. You scrolled for no more than a few minutes before the door was opened, Allan pushing it open with his forearm. He held a small cake in his hands, no more than enough for one or maybe two people. Your brows furrow, confusion now set into your expression.

“Hey,” Allan clears his throat, “Uh… This isn’t what I’d normally do, but here.” He walks over and places the cake in front of you. Once more he clears his throat, his hands now empty he fidgets with his tie. You look between the cake and Allan, a soft blush creeping onto your cheeks. The cake was professionally decorated, with beautiful yet small designs laid over the icing with fondue. In the center was text written in icing, the font bordering on cursive. It asked a simple question, ‘Dinner?’ 

You look back to Allan, looking as if he’d just asked you to marry him. Softly, you begin to smile. 

“Yeah, I’d love that actually.”

[iwhoneverbelievedinwar]

Ok ok so I'm on Chapter 102 of Moby Dick (holy fuck?!) and I have... thoughts.

But to a large and thorough sweeping comprehension of him, it behooves me now to unbutton him still further, and untagging the points of his hose, unbuckling his garters, and casting loose the hooks and the eyes of the joints of his innermost bones, set him before you in his ultimatum; that is to say, in his unconditional skeleton.

Ishmael? Ishmael??? Was it necessary to make that description so... homoerotic? Casting the whale as a man he's undressing? Not complaining just impressed honestly.

I confess, that since Jonah, few whalemen have penetrated very far beneath the skin of the adult whale; nevertheless, I have been blessed with an opportunity to dissect him in miniature. In a ship I belonged to, a small cub Sperm Whale was once bodily hoisted to the deck for his poke or bag, to make sheaths for the barbs of the harpoons, and for the heads of the lances. Think you I let that chance go, without using my boat-hatchet and jack-knife, and breaking the seal and reading all the contents of that young cub?

Augh. The intimacy of it. Ishmael isn't just dissecting the whale, he's reading it. It's easy to imagine him over that whale cub, learning its innermost secrets, elbow-deep in a body. The violence of understanding. The eroticism of it. Do you Get Me. He's fascinated by the whale, he's had the chance to open up a myth and put his hand into the wound like Thomas. Augh.

The weaver-god, he weaves; and by that weaving is he deafened, that he hears no mortal voice; and by that humming, we, too, who look on the loom are deafened; and only when we escape it shall we hear the thousand voices that speak through it.

obsessed with Ishmael finding divinity in everything. i wish I could see the world through his eyes

Life folded Death; Death trellised Life; the grim god wived with youthful Life, and begat him curly-headed glories.

Even the gods are gay in this book

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

OKAY. OKAY. WINTERS FAMILY TORMENT NEXUS. as i've said before this is all REALLY vague rough outlines bc i wanted to bounce it all back n forth with u. but. what i have:

>winters family (mark & ashe & fridged mom/wife) live in a location hit by the simurgh

>mark is at work when she arrives. something horrific happens at home. maybe his wife is injured or hurt, but not killed. ashe (7/8/9) triggers. whatever his powers are, they. do Not help heal his mom. in fact the opposite.

>mark tears back home asap instead of leaving as soon as he hears her song, actively choosing to stay in her effect zone for his family. finds newly triggered baby ashe & the rest of that scene.

>theyve spent too long in the affected zone to be allowed to go free, especially since ashe triggered from it. mark nukes his whole past life & ashe's to escape without undergoing all the protocols. he spends ages doing shit work to support him & ashe bc theyre both legally dead, ends up working for overlord, manages to get enough of a fake past to get through cauldron background checks & get powers? it'll pay so much better than the grunt work he's doing now & he has to support ashe (powered)(legally dead)(would probably be executed if anyone Found Out)....

anyway to me the trickster is like. the endgame of this specific simurgh rube goldberg. somehow it doesn't end horrifically, for once! but it gets. bad. the fact that they're simurgh survivors is always looming over their heads. its why mark fucking freaks out when ashe joins the wards. literally have nothing more specific than this though u gotta help me put meat on these bones!!!!! STOP "being responsible" and "doing work" and stuff START thinking incessantly abt nhw ashe!!!!! i don't even know his powers bc i have no clue how he triggered!!!! augh. god. them..... mods torture that blonde man in the most narratively satisfying and fucked up way possible!!!!

QUIT YOUR JOB JOIN MY EMO WARDS !!!!!!!!!!!!! god dude god dude I'm gonna be thinking about this all fucking DAY . who needs to be responsible and have a job. not me!!!! FUCK !!!!!!!! dude im just. thinking abt mark being at work getting the notice to evacuate and starting to hear the song and. bc it's important to me that he's a little bit of a coward. it takes him longer than he will ever admit to decide to go back to his family. he definitely hesitates and hates himself for it because. what if he had gotten there 10 minutes earlier! who fucking knows! he never will!!

god man I'm just thinking about. that scene where they're in the hospital waiting to hear back about noelle and the person (ai?) at the desk is giving them the rundown of all the containment procedures and handing them paperwork and asking them if they can pay for the medical care. how fucked up would that be to hear after you're in the midst of losing everything. mark winters the universes most hated man. I looooooove the satisfaction in thinking about that snap decision where he goes from "relatively normal if a little emotionally repressed but otherwise does his best suburban dad" to "my wife is dead and my son is fucked up and there's this fucking sound in my head that won't go away I'm about to erase everything and break several laws in order to get us out of here" and how that eventually leads into. supervillain. it's just soooooooo. sickos haha yessss the downfall of this fucking miserable blonde guy. when do you think he consciously made that choice. he heard "you're never going to get out of here and live a normal life again" do you think he just . sat with that for a while. ashe unresponsive either due to shock or fear or the trauma of triggering/whatever his powers are and mark just has to sit there. by himself. like what the fuck am I gonna do now. auaghghghghhhh I need 2 make him so miserable forever. fuck that guy i hate his ass (<< me when I lie)

I THINK . I NEED TO SIT FOR A WHILE AND FINISH THESE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS AND PROCESS A LITTLE MORE BEFORE I MAKE A SOLID DECISION ON ASHES POWERS. but you knowwwww it's gonna be some fucked up horror shit. it has to be. it has to be something fucked up enough that mark forbids him from using his powers and keeps him . at home isolated for his own good. but not TOO fucked that he wouldn't be able to join the wards.

actually speaking of. HOW THE FUCK DOES HE JOIN THE WARDS. I know mark basically fucking erased their whole identity and everything but. there's noooo way the prt would let this kid join them. right?????? right????. how the hell would that even be a possibility with all the precautions in place for simurgh survivors. THEY EXPLODED THAT ONE CAPE GUYS HEAD BECAUSE HE STAYED IN PROXIMITY FOR A LITTLE BIT TOO LONG. maybe it's unofficial. maybe he never Officially joins them but he sneaks out while mark is gone and meets the boys somewhere and they become friends out of costume first. and then they learn about his powers and ashe is like "I can help!" and helps them like. as a rogue or something. but hes never registered as an official cape. is this anything. im thinking about him so much what the fuuuuuck have we done. what have we done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[unknownarmageddon]

thinking about proximity boys getting into like. a fight with other survivors

like they get jumped one night, and are just having a good time, being all gay (they are kissing and smooching) and then a big ass rock comes flying out from fuck knows where and killer is suddenly staring at cross’s unconscious body, horrified at the spiderweb of cracks, a bloodied stone thudding onto the dirt and then a group of monsters, like 4 of them, come crashing out of the surrounding buildings

and killer snarls angrily, and grabs his bat and cross’s machete and he goes in swinging like a rabid animal, cursing at them, and just going apeshit, “you MOTHERFUCKERS.”

and like, they had taken out cross cuz he was the bigger one of the two, and deemed killer harmless, so imagine the shock when killer comes charging with murder in his eyes

and he like. comes at them and just stabs, slashing at them so angrily that he nearly decapitates one and he leaves the machete in the chest of the other and he whips around, and there’s the other two, trying to make a break for it, cross’s backpack slung over one of their shoulders

and killer just, forces them back, bashing one upside the head, tearing one of his knives out to drive it through the other’s eye

and the whole time, he’s just fucking terrified and not really aware of what he’s doing because all he can see is cross’s cracked skull and they took him away and it’s just this rapid spiral of snowballing grief and anger and he just screams at the very dead body and hits it harder

meanwhile cross comes to, a little concussed but perfectly fine, and he sits up, confused and dazed, and then it’s killer’s yelling and he scrambles to get up, and turns around to find killer stabbing some very dead monster in the face over and over

and cross stumbles over, panicking at the blood on killer’s body, and grabs him and killer starts thrashing and giving these watery, sad shouts, clawing blindly at this perceived attacker, but cross drags him off of the dusting monster and clings to him, “it’s me! it’s me, it’s okay, they’re gone-“ and killer just goes limp for a moment before just crying

and anyways the idea of killer thinking cross died, killing the attackers, and then just sobbing hysterically when cross is not in fact dead, i dunno. i dunno man

and i wanna think, this happens like, right after the distance arc, so im just. it’s still raw, all the hurt from that, and now this scare, the brief moment when he was certain he’d lost cross again, it just tore the barely healing wound wide open and killer just

anyways killer nursing cross back to health from a minor concussion and then being very very protective and clingy and in turn, cross makes sure to THOROUGHLY check their surroundings when they set up camp and weeping sobbing i keep just thinking about killer having nightmares about it and it’s like

it’s not the first time they’d been attacked or wound up in a fight; it was rare, but it wasn’t the first time, but like.

it was different this time

OUGHHH HOLY SHIT FUCK MAN

SO REAL ACTUALLY

I’m obsessed with that actually ough ough

Just the. Whole thing with the distance arc making killer that much more desperate and worried about losing cross. again too in a way HEAD IN HANDS

That whole scene gave me. Such a fucking vivid mental image ohhh my god dude augh augh

And the shear contrast between their reactions is tucking murdering me

OHH okay. Okay. Maybe killer even. After the first scare of Cross getting knocked out. Starts wandering away less. Like before he’s go off for hours or days doing his own thing in the city and like. Neither of them thought twice about it. And Killer generally had been fairly aloof the whole time up until then despite always coming back

But after that Killer starts doing it less and less. And starts leaving for shorter and shorter periods of time. And starts running ahead less, and. Ough man

cause he just. Is so fucking worried about what if he came back and Cross wasn’t there. And he couldn’t possibly bare that after the distance arc

so instead now he just clings to cross. Literally but mostly metaphorically. And cross notices but he doesn’t say anything. Cause he knows why he knows and in turn he clings to Killer

And just I feel like. They’re both reminded how fleeting everything really is

and maybe it’s not like that permanently like they’ll go back to some kind of normalcy but it’s not the same. Everything’s shifted and warped

Cause everything’s different now

[moonlit-dreamers]

Name all your favourite TSAMS ships

fuuucckk dude

this is like asking someone which pet is their favorite you cant do this to me man ;-;

but i might as well talk about some specific ships that ive been rotating around in my brain more recently tho fair warning that a lot of these will have more abusive themes (tho i'll try to be as brief as possible since i dont want this post to go on forever lol)

off to a great start with sunvant/lord eclipse. ik a lot of ppl like to make them fluffy but they got so much toxic potential. like idk man. the power imbalance + lord eclipse being both physically and emotionally abusive is some good shit. sunvant is absolutely and purely devoted to him. nothing eclipse could do would change that. every punishment is a lesson. every reward is a blessing. every command is a job he does happily. yes, hes absolutely terrified of his lord, but isnt everyone? isnt everyone meant to be scared of their god? if he isnt scared then is he really appreciating his lords true beauty and raw power? idk man. some good shit right there

the obvious sun/eclipse. i can never escape them in any form. main dimension sun/eclipse, dark sun/eclipse, sunbeam (eaps sun)/eclipse, sunvant/eclipse. all of the above pls. but if we're going with MAIN dimension suneclipse their relationship could be sooo many things. (which is y i like the ship so much bc its so versatile!) it could be a fixer-upper, abusive, friends/enemies with benefits, you name it. anything and everything is possible with these 2 bitches and its wonderful

sun/solar is actually the first thing i shipped. even BEFORE sun/eclipse. shocking, ik, but i felt like they had sooooo much potential THAT NOBODY FUCKING SAW. like- an emotionally broken down mechanic who feels guilty over the death of his own sun and an anxious mess that just wants to make things better. how could it be any more perfect??? solar coping over his suns death with sun by accepting that hes gone but at least he has another to love and he wont be empty forever. AUGH

solar/eclipse. im fucking rabid over these 2. like idk man. i feel like theyd be so weird about potentially liking someone whos like a distorted reflection of themself. projecting their own self loathing onto each other then realizing just how similar they actually are and how it.. might actually not be that bad. then learning to love themselves by loving the flaws of the other and accepting who they are now. idk man. this is just wholesome thoughts tho dont think for a second i dont have toxic thoughts about them lol

sun/solar/eclipse (are you noticing a pattern yet?) is THE polycule. idc what you say, theyre all kissing each other. fuck you (/silly)

this is for my own au becuzzzz i wont let go of a chance to talk about them :3 we got sunshine(sunvant)/solstice(eclipse) and they are an absolute WRECK. theyre both fucked over by their past and the beginnings of their relationship is so rocky bc sunshine doesnt trust anyone + doesnt understand nor believe he deserves affection (hes also constantly wanting to go back to lord eclipse). meanwhile solstice doesnt even see sunshine as a person and rather as a project to work on (and also an opportunity to maybe better himself. maybe if he can help someone then that means he can be a better person). solar comes in later and while i havent Completely thought about their dynamics i will say that both solar and solstice are very overprotective of sunshine. they both constantly butt heads bc they both want to protect him while sunshine just sits in a corner head in hands trying to figure out how to get them to stop without having his own panic attack (they get better tho dw <3)

anyway uhhhhh i think thats all for now lol

have fun with this info ig

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 86 here we goooo

Ok so I actually listened to this like a few days ago but I never got round to looking at the transcript but HERE I AM

God this is the blanket never did anything one

He says tucked in so fucking menacingly like Jesus Christ man

TIM MY LOVE

I can't get that one post out of my head that says how Tim was the furthest from being taken by the Eye cause he keeps tripping up on pronunciations and stuff in statements that other archival staff wouldnt honestly it's such a genius take

Oh shit this is getting really long I'll add in a read more

God I love how he's rebelling in every sense, he's doing the bare minimum, he's literally warning people away from it

It's kind of interesting the way he always thought the statement stuff was stupid but in the whole of season one and a lot of season two he managed to hide his distaste pretty well, like even when he lashed out at Jon about the Prentiss incident, he still didn't say that the statements were stupid, but he's saying it behind his back - maybe some part of him knew that Jon needed the statements to work and some part of him still felt for him enough to not point that out

He's kinda dramatic with it as well but I feel like in more of a self aware way than jon

You can feel his distaste honestly the statement just sounds wrong coming from him, which is interesting cause I didn't think that about when Martin did it

So he's mad at the fact that he put effort into a job that he wasn't even that comfortable with in the first place and now he's trapped in? Not about the monsters??

Jesus Christ Tim being a bit of a dick to melanie

HE BLAMES MARTIN????? Damn bro you weren't there how could you tell he didn't do it properly??

I think he's mad at himself for not being there and deflecting it on to martin

She likes that it's quiet!!! That's cute

Martin's not big on change AH neurodivergent vibes

All the archival staff are literally queer and neurodivergent you can't change my mind

Also the fact that he thinks that's the biggest reason why martin doesn't want Melanie around, not the Horrors and the same reason as Tim

I think Tim is refusing to think that Martin might see the situation in the same way as him because if he does then it means Tim's way of dealing might not be the best way and that's an unacceptable thought to him

Suspicious and resentful - my man is self aware I think he knows the way his path is going (hurtling towards destruction) but is too stuck shaking his fist at god to try and get out or he's sort of known his whole life that this is where he was supposed to end up, a terrible fate created by his own two hands that dug their own way down to rock bottom and he's just so tired of trying to do anything about it that he's just accepted it

SASHA OH GOD

Wow seeing firsthand the effects of the stranger, the way neither Tim nor Melanie can remember the real Sasha, but Tim has to live with the fact that he didn't notice and Melanie has to live with the fact that she did, but can't prove it

WHO AM I EVEN SAD FOR

AUGH I THOUGHT SOMEONE MADE THAT UP I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CANON OH GOD

He lost his FRIEND and he DIDN'T REALISE and he STILL DOESN'T KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH AUGH

Oh I wonder why he left the tape running? I'd think he would've forgotten to turn it off but if so I feel like he'd have that shocked moment of remembering which he didn't

Maybe he wanted proof of the conversation? Maybe it was a warning to anyone listening to the tapes? See firsthand how terrible it is at the Magnus Institute so you don't work here? I dunno

Ha I had to ask my lovely mutual @melandrops to explain what a marker was

Oh god honestly this statement fucked me up I completely understand why people hate it I hate it

I was so scared of the dark as a kid and the idea of being reduced to that state of lack of awareness and vulnerability is actually terrifying

Also the dude dying in the blanket???? Ew ew ew

Love the fact that tma doesn't just go with a oh shit I forgot a torch so it was pitch black kinda horror but the I brought a torch, I even brought spare batteries but it still did nothing which in my opinion is even scarier

Oh god her whispering the blanket never did anything that was horrifying

Melanie was actually so good at giving the statement girl really got into it

I was also talking to @melandrops about archivist!Melanie cause I think that would be really interesting... she'd definitely bring a more proactive vibe to the role...

It's interesting to think that Melanie and Jon hated each other at first sort of because they're so alike? It's like the we are made of the same stuff (derogatory)

Love how she just checks out the dead guy

The way she's denying it even though she's literally had paranormal experiences before that's so Jon core she would be a great archivist

JON????

Oh shit I just realised he's labelled as Archivist...when did that happen??

That's so funny he's like bitch maybe I do have reason to kill you

Hmm nice touch of Melanie being like do you guys not want me cause I'm a girl?? Is this misogyny??? Good guess but unfortunately it's worse

It's quite nice that Jon's trying to save her even though the meetings about helping him and her quitting would mean he'd lose the one informant he might have in the institute

Shot in the leg by a ghost in India????

Ha Tim hates you and Martin's probably being watched

Love how Tim's hatred for Jon is so visceral and known that they don't even bother watching him

I bet Elias would delight in knowing about Martin's little crush on Jon and how Jon actually hated him in season one and then how their relationship progresses he'd thrive on the drama and the angst the little bastard

Ok ok it's good that he's on the right track, he guesses it was elias

Wait the whole murder was on tape... WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT TAPE??? DID ELIAS TAKE IT??? COULD IT BE USED AS EVIDENCE???

YES MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (info style) BUT ALSO NO MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (web style)

[cdyssey]

Yellowjackets 2.03 Thoughts:

TW: Cannibalism

Oh, my God. Jackie’s shriveled, burnt, picked over hand.

Coach Ben and Paul. Cute!! I’m digging Paul’s earring.

TAISSA NOT KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED TO JACKIE. I AM SO UNWELL. NAT BEING PROTECTIVE. VAN BEING BLUNT ABOUT THE REALITY AND SCARED ABOUT THE REALITY OF HOW ADVANCED TAI’S SLEEPWALKING IS.

“… you ate her face.” Tai screaming and just utterly losing it. These girls. My god.

“I guess… no one wants breakfast.” MARI ANQNWJDJWJWJSJS.

Nat being a leader when it comes to practicalities in the cabin, suggesting that Jackie’s body be moved to the plane. But it’s also so fascinating at a power dynamic level that she checks in with Shauna here too. It’s the fact that she knows just how much Jackie meant to Shauna on one hand, but it’s also that Shauna is someone who subtly influences the team as well. They all look to her reactions in both timelines. It was her permission that they needed to eat Jackie.

Augh, Ben saying that burying her out there will make it look like she died with the rest of them. That’s probably the cover story they give to Jackie’s parents + the authorities, which is harrowing. If so, they erase five months of Jackie’s life to conceal what happened at her death.

That transition between young Lottie and adult Lottie!!!!!! ALSO, ALSO, I LAST WEEK, I JUST REALIZED THAT SIMONE KESSELL PLAYS BREHA ON KENOBI!!!

The antlers on Lottie’s quarters. That’s my Antler Queen right there.

LISA JUST STRAIGHT UP CHOPPING THAT CHICKEN’S HEAD OFF. Listen, there’s a somewhat decent chance that she’s wilderness baby. If so, like Mama, she’s got a way with butchering animals.

Simone. :(( I will actually lose it if she dies. SHADOW TAISSA DRAWING THE SYMBOL ON HER WIFE’S HAND. MA’AM.

THE VERUCA SALT NEEDLE DROP.

“I wasn’t stalking you. I was just finding a suitable nursing home for my mother.” AKQKDFJJSDJJD. Them casting Elijah Wood as an off-kilter Reddit stalker weirdo is the casting choice of a century.

RANDY FUCKING WALSH!

I didn’t think I was going to ship Misty and Walter, but omfg, their chemistry is SO good.

“IT WAS THE STRAWBERRY LUBE.” HELP ME GOD. THE WAITRESS JUST TURNING AWAY IQKQOQKWIWOWIDDISN.

“I THINK THIS STUFF IS FOR BISEXUALS AND GOTHS.” I’M CRYIN G.

“YOU’RE NO FUN.” ANQKQKOQKQOWIEIDIDDJSJJSJWWJS, this is the most insane marriage in the world. It isn’t just the fact that the strawberry lube was a seminal moment to Jeff in his marriage with a woman who survived 19 months in the Canadian wilderness and came back wrong, but it’s also the fact, that she remembers word-for-word what he said. I’m laughing so fucking hard.

Shauna is 100% bi. But is she goth? Discuss!! (Nat, on the other hand, definitely fits the descriptor.)

“It wasn’t about you. I mean, sure it was exciting. Exciting… mm, that’s not the right word. Um… okay. It made me feel like… I didn’t know what was going to happen. And I liked that. I liked not feeling like this… boring version of me.” Such perfect dialogue. It wasn’t about Jeff even from the start. It was about Jackie. It was about loving her, hating her, wanting to be her, wanting to fuck her, entirely consume her. And she did, she did, she did.

But we also get other stuff here. The fact that she misses the unpredictability of the wilderness. And yeah, she absolutely was excited, even if she doesn’t admit it here. My god. I love her.

JEFF TRYING TO BE SPONTANEOUS AND TAKING SHAUNA TO CHURN BUTTER, BLOW GLASS, OR BLACKSMITH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN (AFFECTIONATE)? SNWJQOQKWJS.

HOLY FUCK AT SHAUNA DEALING WITH THE THIEF. LIKE, DID YOU SEE THE ACTING MELANIE LYNSKEY WAS DOING. THE PRIMAL RAGE IN HER EYES.

“Are you Rambo?!”

“Callie’s old toy that she loved probably more than she loved me?” I’m actually unwell about this line. From what Melanie has said in interviews, so much of her arc this season is going to be about motherhood. I’m often thinking about the traumatic birth that Shauna experienced in the wilderness and how she brought that to the table with Callie, how she tried her best anyway, how Callie grew up to be a normal goddamn teenager. But now that she is older, now that she can see Shauna’s cracks and the facades and all the lies she’s told herself and others, that relationship is fractured. The Sadecki family, normal though they’ve seemed for all these years, has fundamentally been unwell from the start.

This is Melanie Lynskey’s world and we’re just living in it. Every microgesture is so, so raw.

LOTTIENAT OVER THE SHOULDER PROXIMITY. THAT WAS CHEMISTRY THERE.

The swirl of rocks around the beehives… it’s like the spiral from Sammy’s drawings.

Bee metaphor talk!!!!!!! OH, GOD. THATCUT TO THE BEES. TERRIFYING

Lottie, my love, stop offering ur blood tea. 😭

Oh, my God. Jackie’s remains being so small that Nat can easily hoist her over her shoulder.

Shauna staring out the window with tears in her eyes. :((

“But I wanted it too.” SCREAMING.

“I don’t know, I just feel so fucked up.” / “I’m scared, Lottie. Everything is out of control, like I don’t feel like I know what’s going to happen next.” God, the exact echo of what adult Shauna says. Shauna is always revisiting the moment of Jackie’s death and her consumption.

Lottie revealing the gender of Shauna’s baby, lmfao.

The girls getting so excited about a wilderness baby shower. 🥺 Crystal combing Misty’s hair in the background!!!

MISTY TELLING WALTER TO HIT RANDY FOR INSULTING NAT!!!!! THAT’S HER GIRLFRIEND.

Shipping is so much fun in YJ. I basically just ship everyone. Juliette and Melanie were so right. All those girls just made out in the woods.

“Forgive me. I have IBS.” QKWKWOQOWIEJDIEIEIDOEWJEID.

WALTER JUST STRAIGHT UP SLAPPING HIM. YELLOWJACKETS IS A GODDAMN COMEDY.

Taissa and Akilah making a crib. 😭 I am so soft. And now I’m teary-eyed. Oh, my God. I want Akilah to live. It isn’t fair what happened to these girls.

“That’s good, Mar. The baby can dream that it’s being stabbed to death every night.” ALOQOQOQJSJSEJ.

Mari hearing dripping that no one else does… she was also the one to feel something crawling down her back way back in S1.

“Too bad they didn’t listen to your broth idea.” JACKIE BONE BROTH. Oh, my fucking God.

CRYSTAL ABSORBING HER IDENTICAL TWIN IN THR WOMB WIWODJIEWKS.

The parallels between the Misty/Crystal storylines and the Misty/Walter storylines… Misty has finally found her kindred spirit. What the fuck happens to them?

Ben’s still starving because he didn’t eat Jackie. Oh, God, if he dies of starvation, I’ll lose it.

“You always say those girls are vicious, little monsters.” They’ve always been vicious. The forest gave them permission to be wild.

“You’re lucky, you know? I think shit is gonna get a lot worse out here. But you’re already dead, so… way to make everyone jealous of you one last time.” [Nat chuckles.] “I’m sorry… for what we did. Who knows? Eating you could be the reason why we survive the winter, so… thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie.” I AM FUCKING UNWELL. JACKIE, WHO DIED PEACEFULLY IN THE SNOW, WAS THE LUCKY ONE. NAT HAS BEEN JEALOUS OF JACKIE. OH, GOD. JACKIE, THE POPULAR TEENAGE QUEEN AND NAT, THE PERPETUAL LONER. NAT KNOWING THAT THE CANNIBALISM MIGHT HAVE BEEN ESSENTIAL FOR THEIR SURVIVAL. BUT HOW SURVIVAL ISN’T NECESSARILY A DESIRABLE FATE.

CGI WHITE MOOSE.

I love Randy fucking Walsh. So dumb. <3

Van trying to stay awake for Taissa… oh, God, and now willingly following her. Jasmin’s vocal inflection change when she’s playing shadow Tai is chilling.

THE MAN WITH NO EYES LEADS SHADOW TAI. DO NOT SHOW ME THAT MAN ON MY SCREEN. I’M NOT PREPARED FOR HIM TODAY.

OH, GOD, TAISSA HOLDS SHADOW TAI BACK.

The fucking flashback to him in the mirror. Ugh, scariest moment in the show for me. I do think, though, there’s gotta be something more complex going on with him than just, “he’s evil and trying to kill Tai.” I think he’s actually serving as some sort of fucked up protector for her.

Kevyn Tan at the gym!!! Wearing a backwards hat, lmao. Not Jeff going all angry-bro at him. Sir, you’re probably going to be a central part of a murder investigation. Don’t antagonize a detective. 😭

DON’T TALK ABOUT ADAM WITH HIM. JEFF. GODDAMN.

“Well, fuck your diligence. Okay? ‘Cause I-I know her.” / “We’ve been married almost twenty-five years. I know my wife, and I trust her.” HE’S SO DUMB, BUT I CAN’T HELP BUT LOVE HIM FOR BEING SUCH W RIDE-OR-DIE FOR SHAUNA. GODDAMN. Also, the fact that they got married almost straight after she returned from woods. Jfc!!!

My poor little meow meow with a gun is about to go get her car back. <3

“Have you ever peeled the skin off s human corpse? It’s not as easy as you might think. It’s really, uh, stuck on us. Skin. You have to roll back just the edges of it, so you can get a good enough grip to-to really pull. Which, again, isn’t easy. People are always so sweaty when you kill them. Just, like, oily. There’s a look people get… when they realize they’re going to die.” [Shauna smiles, tears in her eyes.] “It’s that one. My hand wasn’t shaking because I was afraid. It was shaking because of how badly I wanted to do this.” MELANIE FUCKING LYNSKEY.

I AM LOSING MY MIND. OH, MY GODDDDDDDD. SHE IS SO FUCKING GOOD.

AND THEN, AFTER COMPOSING HERSELF, SHE SLIPS BACK INTO A MIDWESTERN THANK YOU. UNREAL.

I SUPPORT WOMEN’S WRONGS.

Ben fantasizing what he should have said and done with Paul. :((((

VAN’S LITTLE CHANGING TEEPEE.

A MONOLOGUE FROM STEEL MAGNOLIAS. I’M CRYING.

NOT THE SALLY FIELD MONOLOGUE ABOUT SHELBY’S DEATH. HELP ME. I’M LOSING IT.

SHE’S BODYING IT. AKQOQOWJSJSIWIWIWIIWIAJSSJ. SHE GOT IT DOWN PERFECTLY. THE SOUTHERN ACCENT AND EVERYTHINT.

The girls being deeply moved by the monologue because it’s about grief and violence and how those things can be easily intertwined. They’ve lost so, so fucking much: their friends, their girlhoods, their innocence. And they just want to hit something.

Shadow Tai in the fucking mirror. Oh, my GOD. They’re doing an excellent job of making Tawny Cypress look like she hasn’t slept in three weeks.

Shadow Tai wanting her to go to Van. 😭

Tai trying to call Jessica Roberts, lmao. I miss my favorite morally fucked up fixer.

“Hacking… you can just say it,” WKWKJWDJEJJEJDDJ.

MISTY AND THE ADAM’S MOTHER LIE. THEATER NERD FOR LIFE HELP.

“Maybe I’m just a bored Moriarty looking for his Sherlock.” And Misty walking away because she doesn’t know what to do with that vulnerability. 😭

I actually just teared up at Shauna placing the stuffed animal next to Callie. Oh, my God, and Callie snuggling it.

Adult Nat finally putting on purple… hhhhhgh.

I think Lottie and Nat should kiss. <3

LOTTIE, YOUR WELLNESS ADVICE IS S LITTLE FUCKED UP, LOVE. <33

The symbol…

Lottie and Nat fighting, revealing where ALL of the group straddles the tension between them. The only (main-ish) girl who doesn’t really reveal her stance is Shauna.

TAI RUSHING TO SHAUNA.

THE DEAD BIRDS. THAT SOUND WAS TERRIFYING.

“Did these guys just suicide on our roof?” ANWKQKWJDJWSJS.

Them all putting the birds at Lottie’s feet… worshippers leaving offerings for their god.

LOTTIE’S BEES. WHAT THE HELL.

This Tori Amos song is stellar.

Oh, my God, the camera pulling back and revealing that it was Lottie’s hallucination. Her panic and grief. Jesus fucking Christ.

The GRIP that these women have on me.

[lazy-toad]

Malev 37 reaction but all in one post coz I'm lazy

John is pissy, my favourite John

Uh oh Oscar's asking too many questions

"it's an old book Arthur 🙄" I love him

OH OSCAR

"how little you realise" literally me listening to this

Oh Arthur you're saying too much

Oh god he's saying 'we' he just wants a friend this is going to end so badly

"I suppose I'll just watch again then" John :((

I'm sorry John I love you but all I can imagine right now is a pouty three year old crossing their arms and stamping their feet

BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND AND I TRUST YOU

SO IF I IGNORE YOU IT'S NOT BECAUSE I DON'T CARE

Godddd I forgot how much I love them

"like a fracture of it" ...... Augh

Oh fuck how did I forget about the stone I was confused as to why Arthur was so weird about it being late. I was so caught up in the joy of friendship I forgor about the fucking stone

I love when I can tell what a patreon choice is hehe

Oh Oscar :(

I BELIEVE YOU'RE MY PURPOSE !??!?! YOU MET HIM LIKE FOUR HOURS AGO

"I know you don't believe in him but he believes in you" .... Hmm don't know how I feel about that but it's the thought that counts ig

"still it's nice to have Oscar as an option" he's trying so hard to be nice and I love him so much

"As if various fluids were spilled here" now there's the podcast I know and love!

"I hope"

"until I can rely fully on you again" pain and suffering :(

Trapped entities......

Fractured parts of great ones.....

Head in hands Johnnnnnnn

Children :(

The fucking music box song goddddd

JOHN AND OSCAR MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD THAT BUT I DID

SCARY

Tried to relisten to that bit a few times but I still can't make out what John said about the painting

Oscar :( uh oh

cut it off

Oh god

"WELL DONE ARTHUR" OH YEAH WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK BABEY

Arm amputation asmr 😍

"you didn't make it all the way through" oh god

Fuck me how many more swings is he going to have to take

Oscar :(

Please don't tell me it's his arm that's squelching

It is

Dreamland forest (evil edition)

John I know your priorities are keeping Arthur alive but leaving a man passed out on the floor when you just cut his arm off does seem a bit rude

Ough what an episode

[mrsvalentinefucker1]

Don’t get cocky

Gyro zeppeli x Male reader

It was a boring day, everything was slow and everything was especially exhausting.. you and you’re two friends (well really more partners) stopped at a near by bar. Gyro, of course, had his expectations high. Who knows maybe he’d get what he’s been searching for this whole race. Johnny was sitting at a stool and just ordered his drink. The waitress was obviously hitting on him but he didn’t care for it and just told her to bring him his drink.

“Can i get one scotch on the rocks please?” Your voice tore through the loud noises. The waitress nodded and started making your drink. After this day, you needed one.

“Seems like you’ve had a stressful day. Nyoho~” gyro said as he took the seat next to you

“Just been tired thats all. Plus aren’t you supposed to be trying to get some tail from a slut here? That’s all you do anyways” you rolled your eyes

“Woah! Someone’s snappy today” He remarked

The waitress handed you your drink and left to tend to the other customers.

“Thank you” You said. Gyro slammed down a 20 and looked at you.

“On me, alright?”

“And what? I have to pay you back.” You scoffed “no thanks I’ll get it myself!”

You reached for your money but he pushed your hand back down

“I said it was on me, Y/n. I’m a man of my word. It you want to pay me back, that’s you.”

You chuckled “I guess I could take it.” you sipped your drink “I mean who am I to pass up a free drink”

Later that night you stumbled back to your room. You payed for yours and gyros and Johnny got his own because he hates sharing with you two. It’s like a circus in there.

“Woah Y/n! Be careful you’ll fall” he laughed with a little hic in between them

“Shhh gyro, gyro, gyro” You stumbled on your words

“Yea?” He laughed, he himself also drunk beyond belief

“Gyro give me a kiss” you tapped your cheek and laughed

He moved your face in one swift motion and kissed your lips. Your eyes lit up and as much as you were embarrassed. Your erection started to grow. You usually were snappy to gyro but god did you find him irresistible. Every time he brought some girl back you wanted to punch him.

His hands started to roam and grab at your ass, you leaned more into the kiss. Doing the same.

“Y/n~ nyoho”

“Mhm?” You lifted your head to meet his eyes

“Meet me in the shower. 5 minutes. Not a moment later!” Oh god- you two were definitely about to get it on.

5 minutes passed and you walked into the shower. It was steaming in there. The mood felt different though that’s for sure.

“Gyro?” You called

“Come in y/n. Im just freshening up. Why don’t you come join me?” He did his signature laugh

You stripped of your clothing and hopped in the shower. Still embarrassed by your erection.

“Someone’s happy~” he reached down to grab ahold of your hard cock. He started stroking from base to head. He knows how a man likes it because of course, he’s a man.

You let out a lovely little sigh, encouraging him to go faster.

“Like that? Want me to fuck you y/n…?”

“F-fuck me gyro.”

“Hmmm. I don’t know. You’ve been rude today” he said slowly stroking your cock more and more

“Fuck! Im sorry gyro just please fuck me! I won’t ever be m- rude to you again! AUGH!” You pleaded

“Oh alright. I guess I could<3” he said in a cocky tone

His hand left your cock and left you feeling cold.. but soon was filled with the head of his cock pushing against your hole. He nudged you and pushed himself in. You yelped his name as he went deeper. His hand coming back to your cock.

“This is fun! Why don’t we do this all the time, caro~?” He exclaimed

“F-fuck” you let out a moan against your arm.

He started thrusting harder and faster into you, hand still jerking you off until you came with a loud sigh. His orgasm slowly followed. He kissed your head and you two fell down in the tub letting the water go your skin<3

————

Buy me a Kofi! ☕️

Definitely not required but they do help:)

[withacapitalp]

Hidden Gem Friday

Another Friday, more hidden gems! Most of these are my reccs I think, just because I didn't do a lot of looking at my list this week (It was a time)

As always, I'm taking more reccs for this!! It's really fun to see fics get a second lift!

Thirteen by towardthesun recced by me (haha my own fic) written for @thefreakandthehair 2.7k (Complete)- Gen focus on Eddie and Wayne

Summary:

Eddie had never exactly had the best track record with birthdays. If he was lucky, his mom would get him a cheap toy car, or a lollipop that she swiped from the gas station — little ways to make the day special. She tried, she really did, but that was mostly at the start. By ten, she seemed to have forgotten her son even had a birthday, too lost in the drugs to see him waiting for her to notice. But…but today was his thirteenth birthday.

My Thoughts:

My thoughts on my own fic? Well yeah I really like this one! I was sad to see that it didn't really connect to a ton of people, but it also just felt very soft when I was writing it? Plus I wrote it for one of my dearest friends, so ultimately I really like it still <333

it's christmas eve again by thatsadorable recced by me 21k (WIP)- Steddie

Eddie didn’t know why he was sharing this, he usually never shared this much about himself. But something about how this man’s eyes twinkled seemed to almost compel him. “Holidays you know? And I’m looking forward to seeing my Uncle, but so much has changed… and I got a dumb blind date to go to before I head home.” The man raised fluffy white eyebrows in reply. “Maybe it will be a good one? You never know, a date on Christmas Eve? Could be magical.” A laugh slipped past Eddie’s lips. “Magical? With a guy named Steven? I don’t think so, sorry. I really doubt it, he evidently used to babysit my Uncle’s fiancee’s kid. I mean I like the kid alright. But his old babysitter? I don’t think so.” The plane jerked to a halt and people started moving towards their carry-on bags. “Well, never laugh at fate, my boy, it might just laugh back.”  or: fate very much laughs at one Eddie Munson and he finds himself searching for some holiday magic. or: Santa was trying to set him up with Steve fucking Harrington.

My Thoughts:

God, this fic is fun!!! I loved watching this one get put together, an the final (well almost final) product is such a joy to read. There's a really cool twist in this one I won't spoil, but I have to admit I've been on the edge of my seat waiting for an update!! I really really need to know how this one endsssss

who you gonna call? by dharmainitiative recced by @andrea-csenge 65k (Complete)- Stoncy

Summary:

“Just because you can’t see a ghost doesn’t mean it isn’t real,” Robin says. “There are plenty of things we can’t see that are real.” Jonathan raises his eyebrows. “Name one.” “Uh, fucking gravity?” Steve says. “Yeah, I can drop an apple,” Jonathan deadpans. Nancy clears her throat. “Is this an important conversation, or can we get back to the ghosts now?” Or: a ghost files AU

My Thoughts:

I adore stoncy, and the way they're characterized here is so cute!!!! Augh I just love having a fic that really moves? The dialogue is quick but it hits right and the flow on this one is very enjoyable. If you're looking for a classic hidden gem, this is a perfect example

Still The One by Legitcookie recced by me 5.4k (Complete)- Steddie w heavy focus on the Party

Summary:

”Why do you have to make everything so fucking difficult, Eddie?” Max's eyes widened, hand stopping just before making contact with the closed door to Steve and Eddie's apartment. ”Oh, I'm so sorry, your highness. Please keep telling me the same thing over and over again. I can't wait to hear if you put a new spin on it!” “Quit the bullshit, I wouldn't have to keep telling you if you did it this century.” This was not what Max had been expecting when she drove over that morning. She expected to knock on the door, be greeted by two lovesick buffoons that had recently moved in together, and grab the Dungeons & Dragons book Mike had left there. Apparently having a car made everyone think they could ask for favors. Well after this lovely start to the morning, that wasn't going to happen again any time soon. She should leave. She definitely shouldn't press her ear to the door to hear better. ~Or, Max overhears an argument thinking a breakup is imminent and gets The Party to help

My Thoughts:

I loooooooove the party. I ovethepartyIlovethepartyIlovetheparty. This is the best way to write them. They're so meddling and they love everyone so much and they care! so! god! damn! much! Even if they're going about it in the wrong way. Steve and Eddie are also so so cute here but this one is really being recced for the party relationship here!!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Code Words | Trigger Phrase

Augh that was so good holds them gently Please tell me the person Jan went for support to was Remus I love that gremlin man – anon

Hello! Sorry if this arrives to you as you're already set on what the next chapter of 'Code Words' will contain. But in the event that you decide on the next chapter being from Janus’s perspective, could we get from his side on what happened at that meeting? Because we know what Roman’s side was, but depending on the wording used by the higher-ups it could've come off entirely differently. I think the writing for your work is excellent & regardless of this idea It'll be a banger of a chapter. – ax3-e0ns

I absolutely adore Code Words, oh my god. Protective sides is the best. I saw a note on AO3 asking opinions, so could I potentially ask if there’s going to be some Remus in this story? I absolutely love your protective Remus. But absolutely no pressure at all, I think I’m gonna go feral no matter what happens next honestly, I’m rotating this story around in my brain on a spicket. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: descriptions of assault

Pairings: platonic dukeceit, platonic logince

Word Count: 5240

    Janus has never really been bothered by heights.

There's something oddly freeing about it, about being able to look down from such a place and see the world sprawled out beneath you. Something reassuring about being reminded that the world truly is so much bigger than you, that it has existed long before you and with persist long after you're gone. He's just a part of it when he's looking at it like this, and there's nothing wrong with just being for a second.

He really needs to just be for a moment after what just happened.

Footsteps to his left and a moment later, Remus plops down next to him, one leg dangling over the edge of the hanger walkway, the other propped up next to him.

"So," he begins lowly, "I haven't gotten a call like that from you in a while."

Janus doesn't say anything for a long moment. Then he leans forward and buries his face in his hands, feeling Remus shift closer to catch him if his balance slips. And just that, just that little indication that Remus is here for him, that's enough to shatter the dam.

"He burst into the meeting."

"Huh?"

"The kid assigned to be the 'hero,'" Janus mumbles, talking mostly to his hands, "he burst into my debrief."

Remus swears under his breath. "Shit. Did he—"

"He only had a knife and he barely made it through the door, but he—" he chokes on the words— "he kept saying how he'd stop me, that I'd never hurt anyone again, that he'd—that he'd make sure of it."

Remus's hand lands on his back, rubbing in slow, soothing circles. "It's over, Janny. You're not on that mission anymore. You're not the bad guy, you never were. It's okay, it's over. That kid's gonna learn sooner or later, he'll come around—"

"No, you don't get it!" Janus smacks Remus's hand away before he can think better of it, only to stare at him horrified. "I'm sorry—"

"Hey, uh-uh." Remus just shakes his head and raises his hands. "You're upset right now, I'm not gonna hold anything against you."

God, everything Remus says is just reminding him of Roman's face—

"Don't spiral on me," comes Remus's gentle reminder, "keep going, if you want, what happened next?"

"They—Security tazed him." A lump appears in Janus's throat. "He just f-fell over and they kicked the knife out of his hands and he—Remus, he's just a kid. He's just a kid and he looked so upset."

He scrubs a hand over his face.

"And they just laughed at him."

Remus frowns. "Who laughed at him, the security officers?"

"Fucking everyone laughed at him, Remus, I—I laughed, I laughed at him."

"Well, yeah, little shrimp bursts into a meeting trying to stab you, gets tazed, shit, I'd probably laugh at him too. Whoa," Remus blurts out when Janus buries his face in his hands again, "whoa, whoa, hey, hey…"

"He didn't know, Remus!"

"Don't do that," Remus says, tugging his hands gently away from his face, "he didn't know what, that it was over?"

"He didn't know about me!" He just clutches Remus's hands because what else is he supposed to do, and how fucking awful is it that he has someone he can go to after all of this, that he's got the safety net he knows he can rely on, when Roman doesn't, how fucked up is that— "they didn't tell him anything!"

"Slow down. Take a breath for me." Remus takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly. "Just like that, you copy me, okay?"

Janus tries. But he keeps seeing poor Roman's chest shuddering and shaking and how scared he was and how angry—

"Janus," Remus says, voice firmer now, "eyes on me. Only on me, okay? Stay with me here."

Janus closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on Remus's hands on his. His lungs fight him for every breath but he doggedly takes one after the other, slowly calming down until he can look at Remus and just see Remus.

"Hey," he hears softly, "welcome back, Janny. You wanna take a break for a moment, or you wanna keep talking to me."

"I've just gotta get it out, I think."

"Okay. Can you keep a hold of my hands for me?" Janus squeezes and Remus nods. "Okay. Good job. Can you tell me what happened next at the meeting?"

Janus forces himself to take another breath before continuing. "He got—he got up so slowly, Remus, those tazers weren't turned down at all, they hit him with the full blast. He must've been in so much pain."

"They do hurt, that's true."

"And he—he tried so hard to make like he wasn't scared and he said—he said—he tried to say what he said again but one of the supervisors cut him off." The lump in his throat his back. "Remus, he looked so small."

"What did the supervisor say?"

"That while this amount of drive was admirable," and he spits out the word, "he should really be saving it for the next mission. And he was so confused, he asked him what he was talking about—and they laughed at him again, Remus, they just laughed at him!"

"Stay with me," Remus reminds, gently squeezing his hands, "what were they laughing about?"

"The other one—she said that he'd done a good job and that he should be proud of himself, and that he should learn something from me and how I did my part of the mission—and that it's hard to be undercover like that for so long—"

"Which is it, Janny, you know that."

"—but he didn't know! A-and then he ran away and he was crying and I didn't know—he didn't have anyone, Remus, he didn't—I hurt him—"

"Slow down, you're jumping ahead again. C'mon, deep breaths." Remus squeezes his hands again, scooting a little closer. "Hey, you with me?"

"Yeah. I'm here."

"Did he come back to the meeting?"

Janus shakes his head. "I went to see him. Afterwards."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, no, he didn't do anything, he did nothing wrong—"

"Okay, okay, take it easy."

"…thanks."

"Sure thing. What happened?"

He closes his eyes and Roman's defiant little face swims into view. His fists clenched at his sides and his shoulders drawn up in that way where he's trying desperately to make himself look bigger but it just makes it obvious how small and scared he is, and the poor thing was so scared…

"Janus?"

"They didn't tell him, Remus," Janus whispers, his eyes still clenched tightly, "they didn't tell him anything. They didn't tell him I was undercover, they didn't tell him any of the code phrases, they didn't—Remus, he's all alone. He's so scared, he's just a kid, and I—I hurt him, Remus, I hurt him so much."

Remus is silent. Janus warily opens his eyes, unsure of what Remus's reaction is going to be, only to see him glaring a hole in the jetway.

"R-Remus?"

"So he didn't know anything," Remus says, his voice low and dangerous, "not about your mission, not about the codes, not—not anything?"

"And they laughed at him, Remus, he was so scared—he is so scared."

Remus lets go of his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fuck."

"I hurt him. I tortured him—he relapsed because of me, Remus, I—" fuck, he's going to throw up, he's revolted at himself, how the fuck could he do this to a kid, and all for what? A mission? He didn't need to do any of that for the mission, he didn't even need to do half of it, and how is Roman supposed to reconcile all of that—

"Hey, uh-uh." Hands catch his again. "Janny, you gotta stop, you're gonna hurt yourself."

"But I—"

"What were you supposed to do? Come on," Remus continues when Janus just stares at him, "what were you supposed to do?"

"I should've—I should've checked, I should've told him—"

"How? How would you have told him without risking exposing yourself? Then both of you would've been royally fucked."

"B-but I—" he swallows— "Remus, I was so bad—"

"Hey," Remus says, gently yet firmly, taking his face in his hands again, "you're right, this is incredibly fucked up and it should never have happened. But it's not on you. You hear me?"

"How is it not my fault when I'm the one who hurt him?"

"It's not your fault that he wasn't told. You didn't debrief him. You were already years undercover when he was getting debriefed. You couldn't have known he was getting assigned until he was right in your face and then it was too late." Remus holds his tightly when Janus tries to pull away. "And it's not your fault they laughed at him."

"But I laughed—and he screamed at me to get out and I didn't listen—"

"You didn't know, Janus, you got fucked over by this too. If it's not Roman's fault, it's not yours either."

"Well, it seems awfully simple when you put it that way," he can't help but spit out.

"Sometimes shit is that simple. I'm not saying everything here is," Remus continues when Janus looks like he's about to explode, "and…yeah, Roman's probably not too happy with you right now—"

Janus lets out a mirthless laugh.

"—but the truth of the matter is: Roman not being briefed properly fucked both of you over. That's it. And that's not on either of you."

Remus is right, logically, he knows he is, but he can't get Roman's face out of his head. Not earlier up in his room, tear-stained and furious and scared as all hell, not in the meeting room, bright red with humiliation and confusion, not even earlier, with his eyes full of tears and defiance and so, so small…

He lets out a sob before he can stop himself, curling up as Remus wraps his arms around him. And doesn't that feel fucking awful, that he's here, upset about hurting Roman and getting comforted, when all Roman had was him? He's called Logan, Logan should be on his way sooner or later, but from the sounds of it he's off base and probably won't get in until tomorrow, which means Roman is all alone, all by himself, in a building where he no longer knows what's real, who to trust, and he's so young—

God, and his mission instincts are the opposite of helpful right now. Because all he wants to do is go eviscerate whatever bastard decided it was a good idea not to debrief Roman properly and then go fuck up the supervisors that laughed at Roman and then go beat the shit out of the security guards that tazed him, but he won't do any of that because he promised Roman he'd follow his lead.

"He's just a kid, Remus," he whispers into Remus's shoulder, "I don't know what to do."

"You're not gonna do anything right now except get some of this out," Remus says, not unkindly, "so you just take some deep breaths and stay with me, okay?"

Remus's heart rate beats steadily under his ear and he tries to sync his breathing to it, tries to push everything else aside for the moment and just focus on being here, with Remus, safe in the hanger. A few more tears slip down his face, a few more sobs leave his chest, as he takes the time to just breathe. He finds himself holding onto Remus's arm, just to have something to hold onto, such a far cry from being undercover where he had to keep his walls up all the time, even when he was about to sleep.

How exhausting that was, to be surrounded by minefields, unsure of where to step, unable to hold onto anything lest it drop out from under him. Up so high, dancing with death in the clouds in the midst of those who would happily push him off and watch him fall until he hit the ground with a splat.

How many times had he stood on Roman's neck to keep himself up there?

He sniffles again. Something in Roman's face as he turned to leave…something in how small and unsure he looked…the memory crawls up his throat and he knows Remus can feel the way his breath hitches.

"What's up, Janny?"

"Just…remembering something."

Remus hums, shifting until he can rest his weight against one of the support beams. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I think so."

"Whenever you're ready, then."

***

    Deceit placed the hero's foot gently in his lap, tweezers in one hand to pluck the thorns and other sharp things out. His fingers rubbed soothingly whenever the hero tensed or flinched.

"I don't know why you insisted on running," he murmured, "at best, you're only embarrassing yourself. You're lucky it wasn't worse than this."

"Keep talking and I'll kick you." The hero's toes flexed.

"Kick me after I've done the other foot." Deceit patted his ankle absentmindedly. "Switch."

He could see the hero debated not doing it, but the thorns must've made themselves even more of an obnoxious presence, and so after a moment, he did, lifting his foot and placing it on Deceit's knee.

"Good." He winced. "You really did get torn up."

"You're the one who chose a location surrounded by a wasteland to interrogate me."

"Mhm, almost as if I didn't expect you to be clueless enough to run." He plucks out a long thorn. "Especially without shoes."

"You took my shoes."

"Because I didn't want you to run." He glanced up. "Seems that didn't stop you."

The hero glowered, hunching in on himself as much as he could with his foot still in Deceit's lap. "Why are you doing this?"

"We've been over this."

"Not that." The hero's foot flexed. "This."

Deceit sighed. "Because despite what you think, you being hurt like this isn't actually beneficial to me."

The hero scoffed.

"Scoff all you like, but it's the truth."

"Since when do you tell the truth?"

Deceit paused, looking up again. "Can you name one deliberate lie I've told you?"

The hero paused. Deceit could almost hear his thoughts: surely…surely there was one, right? Deceit had led him astray so many times, it had to be his fault, he had to be lying. He waited, fingers idly drumming on his ankle, patiently watching the hero struggle with himself.

Eventually, he just glared away and Deceit sighed, resuming the gentle care.

"I don't like seeing you in pain."

"Could've fooled me."

Ouch. "Oh, I'm perfectly willing to hurt you, but that doesn't mean I enjoy seeing you hurt."

"Oh, well, if that's all."

"If it makes you feel any better about it," he continued, setting aside the tweezers and picking up the ointment, "I'm doing this so you have a lower risk of infection, so you'll recover better. I don't look forward to carrying you everywhere until you can walk again."

The hero's head jerked around so quickly he almost told them to keep still again. "You what?"

"Easy," Deceit chided, "not so much. There are still open wounds down here."

"Wait, wait, you're planning on what?"

"You can't walk," Deceit said as though he were explaining to a child—which he was, "so I have to carry you."

"You don't have, like, a wheelchair?"

"This isn't exactly a hospital, you know. I don't just have medicine and mobility aids lying around."

The hero spluttered. "But you—you—you're—"

"Trust me," Deceit sighed, reaching for the bandages, "I'm not thrilled about it either. But I don't enjoy seeing you like this and I, like you, want it to be resolved as quickly as possible."

He tapped his leg to get him to switch.

"So, yes. I'm going to finish bandaging you, you are going to sit still while I put everything away, and then yes, if you need to go somewhere that isn't back to the interrogation room, I will carry you."

"Why don't you just kill me," the hero spat, "wouldn't that be easier?"

"Then I don't get the information you're holding onto."

"Then why go to all the trouble of fixing me, if you're just going to break me again?" Deceit didn't answer that one. "What if I can walk?"

It was Deceit's turn to scoff. "I've just pulled an entire rosebush out of your feet. If you can walk, I'd have to check what painkillers I gave you."

The hero set their mouth into a stubborn line and he sighed.

"Alright, fine. If it with assuage your doubts, you're welcome to try. Though don't come crying about your bruised dignity when you fail."

I will, he could almost hear, you'll see.

Deceit stood, carrying the supplies and tucking them back into the box they'd brought, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and regarded them.

"Alright," he said, eyebrow raised, "do go on, then."

"Thank you."

The hero gritted his teeth and swung his legs down. Even a brush against the floor and Deceit could see the tug of pain in his lips, but the hero forced it away. He took a deep breath and held eye contact, and stood up.

In an instant, Deceit could see that his feet exploded in pain. His knees buckled and he grabbed at the rickety bed, fighting to stand back up. He shifted all the noises certainly building up in his throat down and took another deep breath.

Deceit just watched him silently.

The hero managed one step.

Two.

On the third, he must've landed on one of the deeper gashes and his weight collapsed, sending him hurtling toward the floor.

In the blink of an eye, Deceit swept forward and caught him, arms wrapped around his chest and keeping him from hitting the floor. He could feel the way the hero's cheeks burned with humiliation and he glared at the floor as if it were its fault he fell.

Deceit didn't gloat. He didn't say 'I told you so.' He just waited until the hero had settled a little to carefully pick him up and carrying him back to the bed. The hero turned his red and furious face away as soon as he could, as if he could forbid the tears from falling while Deceit was still in the room.

"I didn't mean it, you know," Deceit said softly, "about not crying. You can cry if you want."

"Thanks for the permission," the hero spat.

Deceit waited a moment longer before getting up, fetching the first aid kit and opening the door. As he turned to close it, he caught sight of the hero staring after him.

He closed the door before the urge to rush back over grew too strong.

***

    Logan hums, setting aside the glass of water. "That does sound like a confusing experience, I'm sorry to hear that."

Roman chews on the last of the pizza crust, the box still sitting next to his knee. His milkshake sits half-finished on the bedside table, the blankets cleared away as he toys with the hem of one of the pillowcases. "I mean, it makes considerably more sense now, but when it was happening, I just…"

He shuffles, drawing his knees up.

"I don't know."

"You do," Logan corrects gently, "you can speak freely, Roman, I'm not going to get mad at you for expressing your feelings."

"…I just wanted him to pick. Whether he was going to be nice or not. And I know that's a thing," he says before Logan can say anything, "I know that's a technique that interrogators use to keep you off balance, I know that's what it's designed to do, I know I'm not supposed to fall for it, I just…yeah."

"You can't think your way out of being in pain. I know," Logan chuckles when Roman stares at him, "I know it might seem like that's what I've taught you—"

"No fucking shit."

"—but I'm trying to correct that now. I suppose I was trying to get you to understand that you shouldn't let the pain stop you if it got overwhelming, but that's not the right lesson either, is it?"

"I don't know."

"The point I'm trying to make is that you could know exactly what someone was doing if they were using that technique, and it would still be effective to some degree. After all, when your leg was broken, you knew exactly what was causing the pain, but that didn't stop it in anyway, did it?"

"No." Roman curls up a little tighter. "I don't like being in pain."

"I don't think anyone does," Logan says softly, reaching out and resting a hand on his knee, "thank you for telling me about that, Roman."

Finishing the last of the piece in his hand, Roman reaches for the pizza box. It's gone a bit cold now, but it's warm enough that it doesn't matter and he bites into another piece. Logan keeps his hand there, rubbing his thumb gently back and forth over the soft fabric of Roman's pajama pants.

"Can I ask," Logan says after a while, "what you'd like to see happen next?"

"With Janus?"

"With everything. It's okay if you don't know," he says when Roman starts to tense up, "I'm just curious."

What does he want to happen?

Well, he wants to no longer be scared whenever anyone knocks on his door. He wants to be able to walk outside without being scared of someone laughing at him or whispering about him or muttering about what happened. He wants to be able to talk to people without second-guessing whether this is a lie too. He wants to have this awful roiling pit in his stomach go the fuck away. He wants those years of his life back.

He wants all of this to have never happened. But, like with so many other things, Roman doesn't get what he wants.

"Little one," Logan calls softly, "can you stay with me, please?"

"Sorry."

"You've done nothing wrong, it's alright." Logan's hand moves to ruffle his hair. "I suppose that was too large and too sudden of a question."

"Yeah. I think…I think I just want to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"A perfectly reasonable thing to want."

"I want Janus to go be scary at the asshole who decided not to brief me properly." Instantly he flinches, waiting for the sharp reprimand from Logan about how immature that is, Roman, you know better. "I—I mean—"

"I'd quite like to go be scary at them as well." He chuckles when Roman just stares at him incredulously. "What's that look for?"

"Who are you and what the fuck did you do with the guy who always said to 'be the bigger person?'"

"Someone put his student in a terrifyingly unsafe situation where said student was hurt, traumatized, and had no way of protecting himself," Logan replies, his voice slightly firmer, "and that someone is about to learn the consequences of their actions."

It should be reassuring. That should be the reassurance he needs that he's safe now, that everything's going to be okay, that Logan's really on his side through all of this, but instead those words just remind him of being much smaller and standing alone in front of a lot of people and he swallows.

"You're not…you're not mad at me, are you?"

Logan blinks and he softens again, smiling gently and rubbing Roman's back. "No, little one, I'm not mad at you. I'm quite mad at the person who failed to brief you, if you hadn't noticed—"

"No shit."

"—but if it's alright with you, yes, I'd quite like to go and be scary at them, as you put it. Is that something you think you'd be alright with?"

"Yeah. You're really scary too."

Logan chuckles. "Is it alright if I tell you what needs to happen in order for us to go and be scary?"

"Sure."

"We would need to have a meeting with someone from Psych, just to clear the two of you. They'd need to understand exactly what went wrong, to have some sort of clearance to go after the person who briefed you lest we all get swept up and under the rug."

"I don't like Psych."

"I know, little one, I don't think anyone does. But I'd pull a few strings—I think there's still someone I trust who works there, who would take this seriously and see that it be handled in the way it deserved to be handled."

Roman picks at a loose seam in the bedspread. "And this—this meeting, who needs to be in it?"

"You and Janus, for one—"

"Does it have to be both of us," he blurts out, "a-at the same time?"

Logan pauses, looking over his face. "Ideally, yes, it should be."

Just the thought of having to spend that much time in the same room as Janus again sends spiders crawling all over his skin. He hugs himself tighter, leaning into Logan who lets him, setting his chin on the top of his head.

"Can you tell me what you're thinking right now?"

"I don't want to be so close to him. I don't—I know him not knowing—I know me not knowing isn't his fault, but—but—"

"But he still hurt you," Logan finishes when Roman just growls in frustration at his own inability to talk, "I understand."

"I don't want to be this scared of him still, but I can't help it."

"I know, little one, I know. You've always pushed yourself too hard to get comfortable with something too quickly. This is no exception."

"Well, if you assholes stopped demanding it of us, maybe I wouldn't be doing it all the time."

Logan sighs. "Believe me, I have a lot of questions myself now in retrospect about your training."

"Are you gonna go yell at more people?"

"Perhaps. I'm going to pace myself and set my sights on this person first." A hand cards through the hair at the base of his neck. "Is there anything that you think would help you be able to get through that meeting with Psych?"

Roman closes his eyes, letting his cheek rest against Logan's chest for a moment. Logan's breathing is smooth and steady, the hand on his back rubbing in soft, even strokes. Despite the parts of him that shy away for fear of rejection and chastisement, he can't help but relax a little bit just being so close to Logan.

"C-can—" he clears his throat— "can you be there with me?"

The hand stutters for a moment. He can feel the roll of Logan's throat as he swallows. Then his voice comes out a little hoarser than usual. "Of course I can, little one, if you'd like me to be."

"I want you there."

"Then I'll be there."

After another moment, Roman shifts. "Janus should be able to have someone too."

"In the meeting?"

"Yeah. That's fair."

"I agree," Logan says, a warmth bleeding into his voice that Roman hasn't heard in a long time, "I'll make sure he knows."

"Will he be okay with the meeting?"

"From what I know of him, from what you've told me and from how he sounded yesterday, I think he'd be satisfied with any course of action that gets us closer to ensuring the person who caused this whole mess is brought to justice."

"Will it be someone like you?"

"I'm not sure. If I had to speculate, I would guess he would bring another operative like him. Someone who's used to doing that sort of undercover work and understands the necessity of proper, thorough briefings. And someone whom he considers a friend."

"It's still weird to think of him as not Deceit," Roman admits, safe against Logan's shoulder, "I mean, I get it, but like…I don't?"

"It's going to take time, as I'm sure he's told you—"

"He said he wouldn't hold it against me if it took me a while to be okay with him."

"As well he should." There's a pause where Logan sighs. "It's…well, it's terribly unfunny, but it is…oh, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I fear the two of you would've gotten along quite well if you'd met under different circumstances."

Roman scoffs a laugh. "What, you mean if he hadn't tortured me for years?"

"Yes."

"Gotta say, that's not really easy to imagine."

"I didn't expect it to be," Logan murmurs, "nor will I spend any more time thinking about what might have been. I promise you I will devote my attention to taking steps forward from now on."

"Thanks."

"Believe me, it's the least I can do." A rustle as Logan shifts and Roman's half-finished milkshake appears near his nose. "Here, drink up. Ice cream solves all sorts of problems."

Roman can't help but smile as he takes the cup. "Did you run that past Psych?"

"Oh, where do you think I got the recommendation from?"

Logan smiles to himself as he feels Roman laugh, soon accompanied by the sounds of a milkshake being drunk. When he's certain Roman's relaxed against him, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, sending a message out to the Medical wing.

Subject: Meeting Regarding Inadequate Briefing

Patton,

I'm sure the scuttlebutt has reached your ears by now that something has gone wrong with one of the recently finished undercover missions. I'm sure you have also learned that Roman is directly involved. I am less than pleased at the outcome of this debacle and require your assistance as we move forward. If you would be willing to provide your services, I will owe you a great favor.

On behalf of Roman, I am requesting a meeting to discuss what happened as well as steps to be taken to prevent repeat occurrences in the future. I will be in attendance along with him. The other party involved is Janus, Agent 1432, Level 9. Please let him know that this meeting has been requested and that Roman has asked to ensure he knows that supporting parties are allowed to attend as well, as I am attending for Roman.

There's a full moon out tonight.

Sincerely,

Logan

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