#god my hands are cold

[banannabethchase]

Adam decides to invite Jon and Eddie to play Dungeons and Dragons with the Dark Order, among other things.

~

Heads up for: having The Talk, badly described D&D campaigns, and relationship insecurity.

~

On Friday, Adam slides on the blue tint sunglasses, and it’s weird to be able to see things but see them slightly Wrong. It’s bad enough the whole world has been dark for few days, but now…The world looks orange, like the filter people use whenever they try to make a movie seem like Mexico. “Your hair looks red,” he says to Jon, tilting his head.

“It’s pink,” Jon clarifies, then turns to Adam’s mom. “Is he supposed to be going color blind?”

“It’s the tint, asshole.”

His mom pokes him in the arm. “Language! I’m so sorry, Jon, I certainly raised him better than that.”

Jon grins, and Adam finds he’d missed seeing it this clearly, like his own personal sunlight. “I’m sure you did, Mrs. Page. Adam, what a mouth on you.”

Adam has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from retorting what he’d like to do with his mouth, and Jon’s grin says he knows it.

“Anyway,” Adam says, “we’ve got to get started on homework, Mom. Talk to you later?”

“You two have fun,” she says. “But the door stays open! No more concussions from either of you.”

Adam rolls his eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

Homework goes by quickly, because Adam can actually see for once, and they only break to make out furiously on Adam’s bed eight times today, which is a record. Jon’s hair is messy and all over the place by the time dinner is ready.

“You look like Kirby blew up on your head,” Adam says, trying to smooth the pink mess a little frantically. “They’re gonna know.”

Jon laughs, being so obvious about the way he keeps looking down at Adam’s lips that Adam wants to kiss him about it. “What do you think they think we do in here?”

Adam pulls it back in a messy braid, throws his own into a messy bun, and they walk out to dinner. His mother raises an eyebrow, and Adam decides not to acknowledge it. eat with Adam’s parents, kicking each other gently under the table and sharing smiles.

Adam’s mom watches, knowing.

“Hope to see you soon, Jon,” she calls out the door as Adam walks him outside to his car.

Adam makes it to the seat before Jon’s grabbing his face and pulling him close, kissing him hard.

“Hello,” Adam mumbles against Jon’s lips.

“Shut up,” Jon says. “You had your hair in that stupid little bun again and it’s so annoyingly hot.”

Adam would reply, but Jon is kissing the breath out of him, and words can wait.

~

He gets home from dropping Jon off, a little ruffled but pleased, when he notices his mom is standing with a mildly amused smile on her lips.

“Everything okay?” Adam asks.

“We need to have a bit of a talk,” she says. She has her Doctor Face on. Adam hates her Doctor Face.

Adam feels his blood go cold. “Oh, god, no.”

His mother has diagrams this time. When he started dating Kenny, she didn’t whip out diagrams. Adam tries his best to stay focused, pretend he’s paying attention, but his fight or flight reflex has kicked in and he wants a one way ticket into Antarctica.

“And that’s why, even though there’s no chance of pregnancy, a condom is still necessary every time.” She flips her little booklet closed. “Alright. You okay?”

“I’m traumatized,” Adam says. “I need to go to bed.”

“Okay, well, you don’t have that look where you’re going to throw up, and your eyes aren’t crossed, so I don’t think the concussion has created any further problems.” She opens her arms. “Want a hug before bed?”

He leans in and hugs her, noticing for the first time that he’s practically towering over her.

“When’d you get so tall, Addy?” she mutters into his shoulder. “Quit growing.”

“Would if I could, Mom,” he says.

He tries to scrub the memory of The Talk from his mind in the shower, and walks back to his bedroom to find a message from Jon on his phone.

Goodnight, Cowboy. Think of me when you shower.

Adam laughs, because, for once, Jon is a step behind. Caught me after the shower. Too bad. Night.

He goes to bed smiling, and dreams of driving a Trans Am down the highway, holding Jon’s hand.

~

“Those glasses are stupid,” John Silver says as a greeting on Monday morning. He’s grinning.

“Gotta wear them since I got that concussion,” Adam explains. “And you’re stupid.”

“Yeah, I know,” John says. His smile hasn’t faded. “So, Uno and Stu were gonna have a D and D party Friday after school. You want to come?”

“Yeah!” Adam says. And then he has an idea. “Can I invite Jon Moxley? And maybe Eddie Kingston too?”

John shrugs. “Don’t see why not. They know how to play?”

“Don’t know. I can ask. They can watch, if they want, right?”

John nods. “That’s what we did for your sorry ass last year, and look at you know! A halfling bard with the voice of an angel.”

Adam brings it up to Jon when he gets to class.

“Oh, I love D and D!” he says. “Yeah, it’s like role playing, but without the sex part. Well,” he grins at Adam, a little dirty, “it could be with the sex part, if you want it.”

“Okay, cool it, we’re at school,” Adam hisses. He’s feeling warm, and not because it’s 90 degrees outside.

Jon’s grin just gets more devastating. “What, you don’t think about it?”

“I do,” Adam says, a little too fast, “I just don’t want to think about it at school.”

Jon opens his mouth to respond, but Mr. Pham comes in, and, with only one mildly weird comment about Adam’s blue light filtering glasses, begins class.

Jon’s still buzzing about it when Adam meets them at lunch.

“D and D?” Eddie asks. “Oh, god, Mox, not again.”

“It’ll be fun!” Jon says. “And it’s not with my cousins this time, so no one’s gonna ask you if you’re gonna marry me or anything.”

“It’s just the Dark Order kids,” Adam adds. “John Silver’s the DM and he does a really good job.”

Eddie sighs. “Fine. But I’m just watching. I’ll be the second for Mox.”

“How many times do I need to tell you,” Jon groans, “you don’t need a second for a board game!”

~

Adam is giddy and excited the whole week, even when he gets his first Chemistry test back that’s a lower grade than he’d wanted. He’d been looking forward to the Dark Order club meeting all week, and now that Eddie and Jon are walking to the club room in the freshman wing of the high school, he’s practically skipping.

“You’re so weird,” Eddie says. “Mox, why’s he so weird?”

“I’m not weird,” Adam argues. “I’m excited. This is fun. We’re starting a brand new campaign for the school year. John’s iced everybody out as he’s planned for this campaign.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “I always forget how,” he pauses, “enthusiastic you nerds are.”

“You like it when I’m enthusiastic,” Jon says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Okay, no fucking mid meeting. We have things to do.” Adam opens the door. “In you go.”

The campaign is…chaotic, Adam realizes, and that’s the most normal thing he can say about it. Brodie, the previous DM and club president, had a dark, serious, almost terror-based approach to the game.

John, on the other hand.

“Okay, Anna, your dragon born runs into a unicorn,” he says, bouncing, “roll to see if it accepts you as its friend or skewers you with its horn.”

Anna stares at him. “A unicorn, John?”

John nods. “Yeah. Unicorn.”

Eddie leans over to Adam. “Your friends are weird.”

Adam shrugs. “And?”

“Okay, what if I,” Jon says, leaning in and checking his character sheet, “okay, since I’m a human lady, do you think the unicorn might be more open to talking to me?”

By the end of the meeting, Anna’s dragonborn had to be saved twice by Jon’s healing character, Adam’s halfling rolled a nat 20 and a nat 2, leading him to defeat an entire town of vampires and then get near death from drinking from a river. Halfway through it Eddie, begins narrating everything with an even more extreme New York accent than he usually has. Stu and Uno don’t seem particularly cool with it, but they have a pretty good day for their characters, so neither of them really complain.

Alex, on the other hand, is miserable.

“How did I die on the first day?” he complains, packing up his stuff. “I made my half-orc so cool! He was so powerful!”

“That’s the luck of the draw, buddy,” Alan says, clapping his shoulder.

“Says the guy who was able to seduce a fairy for information and gain access to the fey world,” Alex grumbles.

“I thought it was great!” Jon says. “I feel like I really know my character, right? Like, I love that she’s a healer. I think that adds a little pizazz, gets us ready for the devastating backstory I’m gonna drop next time I swing by.”

“None of this, and I need you to hear me on this one, Mox, is cool,” Eddie says. “Drop me off at home before the two of you start making out, okay? I’m exhausted and I have a match tomorrow at, like, the ass crack of dawn.”

“Your match is at one in the afternoon,” Jon retorts.

Eddie shrugs. “Same difference.”

When they drop Eddie off, he kisses Jon so gently that Adam has to look away. It’s a softness that he’s not sure he’s earned the right to see, at least not yet, and he wants the two of them to have as much of their time as they need.

It takes longer than he expects, though. They’re muttering to each other quietly, and laughing a little, and Adam feels like he shouldn’t be here.

“Alright, Cowboy, let’s go,” Jon says, sliding back into the car. “What’s wrong? Your head hurt?”

Adam shakes his head. “I’m good.”

“You look weird,” Jon says. He stares at Adam. “You wanna talk about it?”

Adam shakes his head. “No. Not right now.”

But it builds in him as they drive to Jon’s house, only a few minutes from Eddie’s.

“Seriously, I can, like, feel the weird coming off of you,” Jon insists. “Talk to me. Come on.” He pokes Adam’s arm. “Are you having a headache? Is it driving?”

“I’m fine!” Adam snaps, and it’s too much for the moment, too mean. He immediately regrets it. He glances over at a stop sign to see Jon looking shattered. “God, Jon, I’m sorry. I – I’m fine.” He fights the frustration, the tears welling in his eyes from just how often he manages to hurt people by accident. He remembers the times he lashed out at Kenny, the way Kenny had been kind and gentle at first and slowly grew calloused and angry in response. The way Adam fears he’s going to do to Jon.

Jon reaches out and touches Adam’s hand. “Hey,” he says gently. “What’s going on? Seriously.”

Adam pulls into the Walmart parking lot, throws the car in park, and collapses against the steering wheel. He doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He doesn’t know why he hurts, why something is wrong, why he snapped at Jon. He doesn’t know why all he wants to do is go home and drink as much as he can as fast as he can until it takes him out, makes it all go away.

Jon’s whispering something gentle, rubbing his back, as Adam’s sobs relax. “Adam,” Jon says, and the sounds become words, “come on, breathe for me.”

Breathing. Adam can do breathing. Four, seven, eight. Four, seven, eight.

“See? Breathing was easy. Now you gotta talk to me.”

Adam lifts his head to see Jon, small smile on his face. “I don’t want to make you hear all the shit I don’t even understand in my own head.”

“That’s not really the point, is it?” Jon asks. “Something wrong. I’m your boyfriend. Part of this whole boyfriend thing is we talk.”

Adam bites the inside of his cheek. “That’s the first time you’ve said that.”

“Said what?”

“That I’m,” Adam feels the word catch in his throat, “that you’re my boyfriend.”

Jon frowns. “It is? I coulda sworn…” He trails off. “Oh, shit, is that what it’s about?” He grabs Adam’s hand. “Man, just because I love Eddie doesn’t mean I can’t want you. I like you and I like him.” He smiles. “There aren’t, like, tiers here.”

“You said I was good for fun,” Adam says, and he didn’t realize until now, not until Jon said it, that this is what’s been aching at him. “I didn’t realize you thought about me more than just fun.”

“Fuck,” Jon says, and he yanks on the ends of his ponytail, “fuck, I did it again.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Again?”

“I did this to Eddie, too,” Jon says, gritting his teeth. “I forgot to make it – I forgot to tell him – ” He turns to Adam, takes his face in his hands. “Adam, I’m picking you. I can’t believe I never told you. But I want you and I like you and this isn’t just fun.” He exhales, looking a little worried. “I want you to be my boyfriend. Do you want me to be yours?”

Adam sighs, the tension draining out of him so fast it’s almost dizzying. “Yeah,” he says, as Jon brushes a tear from his cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, I do.”

Jon leans in and kisses Adam with such fervor that one of them hits the car horn. The two of them jump about a foot.

“Fuck!” Jon shouts, and Adam is briefly tempted to ask him if he remembers any other words after they start kissing.

“Calm down,” Adam laughs. “God, you’re as much of a wreck as me.”

“Yeah, well, you and your stupid face makes me stupid,” Jon says. “It’s your fault.”

Adam gets them both home safely, dropping Jon off with a kiss to make him remember. “I’ll see you Monday?” he asks.

Jon nods, grinning. “I got a match tomorrow, so yeah. Maybe soon you can come see me?”

Adam nods. “Yeah. Yeah, soon.”

He practically floats home, into the door, and past his parents.

“You look happy,” his mom says.

Adam shrugs. “I really like Jon. And he, uh, asked me to be his boyfriend today. Like, officially.”

“Oh, thank god,” his dad groans. “You were getting so anxious about that, I could tell.”

“You could?”

His dad nods. “Kid, you forget I’ve known you since the moment you entered the world. It’s taken everything in me not to tell you how you’re feeling every time I know you feel it.” He smiles. “You reached the age where I gotta let you figure it out.”

He watches TV with his parents for a few hours, texting Jon the whole time, and falls asleep without remembering that he’d earlier planned to drink himself into oblivion.

Mini playlist:

Love Like This - The Summer Set Never Enough - One Direction Dark Side of Your Room - All Time Low 1900something - Sub-Radio

[time-woods]

once an evil bug always an evil bug

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Kidnapped Astarion

I have a very specific thing I can't stop thinking about. That involves Astarion getting kidnapped by Cazador for the ritual and him taunting him over the lie that Tav gave him away. Sold him even.

Tw: Lies, manipulation, mentions of torture, bad times had all around, it's long as fuck, betrayal (or at least the lie of it). Like Cazador is involved so all bad. Very bad. This also has VIOLENCE. Like canon game violence but it is BLOODY. You've been warned. Also happy ending :)

So now let's get to that angst:

It had all happened so fast.

One moment Astarion was laid back in the tent you share, reading a mediocre book as he impatiently waited for your return. He loathed when you went out without him, even if it was for good reason. He wasn't exactly welcome company when it came to solving Gale's problems, especially when it came to the bomb nestled in chest. You both knew his inability to keep his sarcastic quips to himself would not be an asset while exploring a sacred library. Besides, he didn't have much room to complain, not when he accompanied you on ninety-nine percent of your outings.

But that didn't mean he had to like it. Even if it was shaping up to be a nice, uneventful evening. He had set your tent a little farther away from the others, considering the complaints that some....well most had made about the volume of your nightly activities. It was quiet, peaceful even. The atmosphere tranquil enough for him to fully relax.

What a mistake that had been.

When the flap of the tent opened he didn't even look up, fully expecting it to be Shadowheart or Lae'zel coming round to dig about in his darling's things. It made sense, considering how it was one of the few times they wouldn't be risking walking in on something. You had such a bad habit with that "open door" policy of yours. One that had exposed nearly every party member to quite the show. Though in Astarion's view, they were just unreasonable. When you were both loud they complained. When you were quiet and they walked in on it they would whine even more. How could you win with people like that?

Perhaps a sign on the door would have done the trick, but Astarion would be lying if he didn't enjoy the others being fully aware of who could make you cry and moan. The risk was just more thrilling, if not the slightest bit annoying.

But the intruder was staying still at the opening, quiet as could be. It was odd enough to have Astarion glancing upward, his heart stopping in his chest at what he saw.

It was a man, frantically muttering something under his breath. A man that he recognized. The idiotic Petras, trying to cast some kind of incantation. It had Astarion scrambling upward, reaching for his dagger. But it was already too late. The spell was finished and Astarion could feel his senses start to fade away, one by one.

He had gotten sloppy, relying on the safety of camp that had never existed. And now he was paying the price, and what a price to pay. Even as he fell to the magic, one feeling managed to stay in place until the bitter end.

Terror.

And then, he felt nothing at all.

The next thing Astarion knew he was being awakened by a slap of cold water to his face, blinking up into horrifyingly familiar light. He immediately recognized where he was. The torture room, his arms hanging from the ceiling, his toes barely scraping the floor. It hurt to be suspended like this, a pain he was still so familiar with despite going months without. And in front of him was the cause of it all, sneering at him like the maniac he was.

Cazador.

"You're finally awake," He grinned, dropping the bucket that was in his hands, "You've been a very bad boy Astarion. Just what am I to do with you?"

Astarion wanted to answer, to curse at him, maybe even beg to just be left alone, but nothing came out. He was too stunned, too stupefied that he ended up here after everything he'd gone through. Everything you'd gone through. How could it end like this?

"I don't fully know what you were up to with all that time away from your family," Cazador continued, stepping close enough for Astarion to feel his disgusting breath on his skin, "But I think I may have the gist. Galivanting around with your merry-band of degenerates. Seems fitting."

Astarion gave a full-bodied flinch when Cazador started to graze along his collarbones with a gentle finger, his touch freezing and revolting. The gentleness wouldn't last, Astarion was surprised it was even there to begin with.

He should have realized there was a reason for it.

He trailed up his neck, stopping to trace a bruise you had left the night before. If only he had known that it was almost certainly the last time he would get to touch you. The realization was nearly enough to bring tears to Astarion's eyes, but he refused to cry in front of this creature, not if he could help it.

"Seems like you may have even found yourself a favorite amongst them. Tell me pet, who was it?"

"Fuck you." Astarion spat out, his fury managing to shine through his despair.

Astarion expected a hard slap for the insolence, but instead Cazador just laughed, loud and full-bellied, "You've gotten quite the temper since you've been away, haven't you? I wonder where that came about?"

It was a false question, Astarion could tell from the way his eyes were crinkled. Like a child excited to reveal a surprise. Cazador answered it for himself, "Is it that lovely little thing that you've been following around. Gods, what's their name again...Tav, is it?"

"Don't you dare say her name," Astarion growled, his righteous fury overcoming the ever-growing terror and dread, "They have nothing to do with this!"

"Oh but they do," Cazador grinned, stepping back to do one of his famous gloating sessions, "Just how do you think I found you? Luck? No my dear, you were given."

Astarion's answer was as immediate as it was hateful, "You're lying! You know nothing of them. Nothing of us."

He won't believe it, he has no reason to. You...you loved him. And you were probably looking for him as they spoke. You would never betray anyone like this, least of all him.

But Cazador remained unphased. If anything he was looking at him with pity, "Oh you poor thing. You think she cares? You think she loves you? I'm disappointed Astarion, it seems you've learned nothing from our time together. What is there to love, hm? Nothing that I can see. Though...they sure did seem to love the gold. You fetch quite the high price my dear. But it will be worth it."

Lies. It was all lies. It had to be. Astarion shoved his uncertainty back down, bellowing out, "Liar!"

It was forceful enough to even make Cazador falter for the briefest of moments, a split second that anyone else would have missed. But he pressed on, shaking his head, "Darling, don't you find it strange that you were all alone that day? That no one came to your aid? Where do you think you're love was, hm? Wait, don't tell me. I can remember...ah yes! With Gale, correct?"

Astarion swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. How...how did he know that?

"It was a fabulous excuse, was it not?" Cazador continued with a laugh, "We came up with that one together. After a little fun that is. I can see why you fell for their treachery Astarion, they are quite lovely, aren't they?"

No. No, no, no.

"Stop it," Astarion hissed, "Shut your mouth. I-It's not true."

"Oh but it is. I'm not sure if you're aware but you're quite the headache darling, not many can handle it. Not including myself. She even told me of that hilarious speech you gave. About wanting something real. It was just as funny to her as it was to me."

Astarion stared at him, at a complete loss for words. It couldn't be true. It couldn't. But...how else would he know that? In a camp full of people why did no one come to his aid? But the cruelty of it all...it was exactly the type of thing Cazador was versed in.

Setting up the same type of trap that he'd trained Astarion for, that he had used on others countless times. And he fell for it, he lost the game he thought he'd mastered.

His faith was slipping, hard and fast when he asked the horrible question, "How do you know that?"

"Because I sent them to you," He said with that disgusting grin, "It was no coincidence that you met. You were kidnapped, I needed you back, so I hired some help. It's a pity that they were captured as well. The pause to our plans was quite inconvenient. Our Tav just can't help but get distracted, can she?"

"No..." The word slipped out of Astarion without his consent, his mind racing. That couldn't be true. It didn't make sense. T-There had to be another explanation. If he could just think he'd find it. But...what point was there? He was already captured, taken. If anything, all of this being a grand scheme from Cazador was more logical than someone loving him.

He had gone through many, many tortures during his time here. Unspeakable, horrible things that he would never wish on anyone, excluding the man in front of him. But this...this was the worst thing he'd ever done to him. He had tricked him, you had tricked him, and he whole-heartedly fell for it, like the fool he was. The fool he would die as.

He didn't know it was possible, but this would be the greatest pain he ever knew. He was sure of that. Cazador had managed to do it. He had broken him, finally.

His tears were falling on their own accord, plentiful and pathetic. Cazador cooed at him, tracing his cheek with his horrid hand, "It hurts, doesn't it? I missed that expression on you my boy. You were always at you're prettiest when you had given up."

He wiped Astarion's tears away, gently holding his face as he spoke, "If only this was enough. The things I want to do to you for running away... I want to make you scream, make you beg for death. Just like how things used to be. If only we had the time."

Cazador let go, stepping back with a sigh, "How I wish that they had gotten you to me earlier. Though it's too late to pout about it now, the preparations are almost complete. But don't fret my boy, your end will have the meaning that your life failed to posses. Come along now."

Astarion hung there, limp as Cazador unhooked him from above. This was it. He was going to die here, as nothing but a pawn. He didn't even try to fight it when he was led down, deep into the palace to a place he'd never known existed. He kept his eyes closed for most of the journey, simply for the fact that he didn't have the strength to keep them open.

It was...a horrendous feeling to be incased in that red energy, floating in the air with all of his brothers and sisters as Cazador finished his preparations. It forced his eyes open against his will, making him see the hell that had been hiding beneath his feet all these years. He had been wrong about the sacrifice it seemed, it wasn't just them. There were thousands of bodies, barely alive in hanging cages, strewn throughout the place.

It was horrible, but fitting. Where else would something like him die? All he wished was that Cazador would hurry, so he could be done with it all. He has to much time to think in these last moments, too much time to examine your betrayal.

He...hates you. For it all. He hates you more than anything, enough for that same fury to come bubbling back to the surface. How dare you do this to him, after everything you'd been through. He should have killed you while you slept, while you let him drink from your throat. He should have killed them all, the vile sacks of shit.

If his soul ever found it's way back from the hell it was about to be damned too, he'd find you. His revenge was no longer reserved for Cazador, but for the wretched bitch hat tortured him in ways he didn't even think were possible. He'd do worse to you than anyone could imagine.

You were the cruelest thing to ever exist, as heartless and horrid as the monster before him.

So why was he still crying over it?

It didn't matter anyway. Not now. Now, all he could do was wait for the bitter end.

But then...he felt something. A familiar presence tickling the back of his mind. A barely there whisper, no words that he could make out. But it was getting stronger. Clearer.

It...it was you. Calling out to him with your illithid connection, begging for an answer.

My love, where are you? Astarion please, please tell me your there. Help me find you.

He can scarcely believe it. But he wasn't going to wait for his emotions to catch up to what could be an escape. He was screaming in his brain, trying to send out any signal that he could.

I'm here. I'm here. Don't let him take me. Please.

He could hear you in his head, the sheer relief from your mind nearly overwhelming, I'm coming. Hold on, I'm coming.

Astarion didn't even have the time to doubt. Because the next moment you were bursting through the ornate doors, nearly your entire team in tow.

Astarion had never seen you look the way you did then. He was so used to your kindness, the warmth and light that you tried to spread everywhere you went. You were always smiling, always laughing, always trying to share the same with others.

But now you were breathing hard, near feral in your posture as your eyes darted around, landing straight to the shocked Cazador. You looked murderous, vicious enough to send a shiver down Astarion's spine. Your teeth were bared, your whole body trembling with rage as you started to advance, weapons already drawn.

And in that moment Astarion was sure that you were the most gorgeous, perfect thing he had ever seen. Or ever would.

It was brutal, bloody battle. One that ended with you slitting Cazador's throat as Astarion watched in awe. You let the body fall to the ground, blasé before you finally ran to him, releasing him from his prison.

Then he was being pulled into the most crushing hug of his entire life. One that he was helpless to return. He clung to you, uncaring for their rather large audience.

He was too busy burying his face into your hair, breathing you in as you whispered into his shoulder, "Thank the Gods that you're still here."

The pain in your voice was so raw, so real. Astarion needed no other evidence to be sure that every word from the dead man's lips had been a lie. He was also positive that he had never cried this much in his life, but now it was a different kind of sob he was trying to choke back. The flood of relief was crushing, the truth that your love was real was nearly enough to destroy him all over again. Not for cruelties sake, but to make something new. To kill every last doubt he had that he was nothing, worthless. How could he be when you were here? When you came for him?

He pulled back reluctantly, smiling down at you with tear tracks on his face. He kissed your forehead, covered in sweat and blood, and gods knows what else.

It was all finally over. You both turned to the rest of the group, your hands clasped together as you made your way to where Cazador lay dead. It was satisfying to see, but such a shame that Astation wasn't the one to do the deed. A regret he'd have for the rest of his days.

Or so he thought.

But then you were turning to Shadowheart, your sweet face curling back into the disgust from earlier when you ordered, "Revive him."

Astarion watched, wide-eyed as she did what she was told. Cazador came back into consciousness, in what looked to be an extremely unpleasant experience. He was coughing blood, the spell doing just enough to mend his mortal wounds, but not nearly powerful enough to give him a fraction of his strength back. He stared upwards, his eyes wide at the sight of you lording over him.

And for the first time in two hundred years, Astarion saw fear in the other man's eyes. Wonderfully delicious fear.

He felt you squeeze his hand as he stared at him, speaking quietly, "He's yours. To do with what you please. Do...do you want us here for this?"

He could hear the hidden meaning in your words. This wasn't just a choice of what to do with him. It was a choice of what to do with them all. He had taken notice that he was the only one that you had freed, his brethren still suspended in air.

He turned to you, his voice strong for the first time since he'd come back to this pit, "I want you here for this."

You nodded before looking back to the others to tell them to wait outside. They did so reluctantly, obviously without confidence in his decision making abilities. He ignored the especially worried look Karlach sent his way, too focused on the piece of vampiric trash in front of him.

Cazador was still coughing, his mouth forming more vile words, "Y-You don't have to do this. I can-"

"Silence," Astation seethed, partly surprised when it worked to shut him up. But then again, he had never been placed in a position to see his master be the one without an escape, "Your life is in my hands now. Tell me the truth. How did you find me?"

Astarion could see the fury behind his eyes, the humiliation of being ordered around by his own spawn. But his desire for life won out in the end.

"Luck," he spat out, "Sheer luck. Yomen saw you in the city, at Shar's Caress with this one. He followed you, found your camp and reported back. I sent Dalyria and Petras to fetch you, gave them a powerful sleeping scroll to knock out your allies. And then you were mine again."

Astarion shouldn't have been surprised that he had the audacity to glare at Tav, seething, "Or at least you would have been."

"And my memories?" Astarion pressed, "How did you know of us?"

"The tadpole squirming behind your eyes doesn't change the fact that I am your master," Cazador said, "Your mind is mine to shape, to understand. It was more difficult than before, yes. But I had enough to know what to say."

Of course. He should have known, "So that was your last torture then?"

"Yes," Cazador said simply, a sneer managing to appear on his bloodied face, "And you have to admit, it worked wonderfully."

"You can kill him now if you'd like," You piped up from his side, staring down at the vampire like the trash he was, "Or...you can take his place."

You hesitated for a brief moment before steeling yourself, looking Astarion in the eye, "Whatever you choose, I'll be here for you. I promise."

Astarion nodded, weighing his options. It was so very difficult to not just kill him where he laid, like the pathetic dog he was. But then again...the ritual would mean endless power. Power that he could use to protect himself, to protect you. So nothing like this could ever happen again.

Astarion looked up, his eyes searching every last one of his brothers and sisters faces. They looked scared, perhaps even resigned to their fate. Just at the hands of another. Astarion hadn't expected the image to make him feel ill, yet it did.

Could he do it? Sacrifice them all, along with everyone else trapped in the bowels of their personal hell? He could. He knows he could. Yet...

He looked back at you, the only thing he had ever loved. The one person to show him a different way to live, who was giving him the freedom to be his own person. But... he wanted that person to be someone worthy of you. Someone who would make you proud.

And there was only one way to do that. Astarion let go of your hand, reaching for the dagger you kept at your belt before striding over to Cazador. He stabbed him with little fanfare, no warning, no chances to beg. And then he did it again, and again, and again. Until he lost count, until the body of his former master was mutilated, his chest nothing but unrecognizable gore.

He wasn't quite sure when he started crying again. He only realized it when he could barely breath through his own screams, every bit of rage, hurt, and humiliation that had been beaten into him coming straight to the surface. He sunk to his knees as he sobbed, tossing the knife to the side.

The whirlwind inside of him was too much, so overwhelming that he was afraid he'd be lost to it. But then he could feel it, you wrapping your arms around him, kneeling next to him as he broke down.

He clung to you, burying his face into your neck as he cried, desperate for your comfort, your touch. You were crying too he realized, your voice breaking as you gently spoke to him, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should have been there to protect you. I love you, you did the right thing. I'm sorry."

You had nothing to apologize for, but that didn't stop your words from acting like a soothing balm to all of his internal wounds. But he would get through this. Because for the first time Astarion knew, without a shadow of a doubt he wouldn't have to get through it alone. With you by his side, he would never be alone again.

He wasn't sure how long you both spent there, kneeling in a pool of his tormentors blood. But he knew he felt different when he pulled away, changed.

Free.

He cupped your face, wiping away your tears while only managing to smear the mess about. But it didn't matter that you were both covered in blood and viscera, not when he had you.

"I love you too," Astarion whispered, finally allowing himself to unload the burden of hiding away from you. No more of that. He was yours, fully and completely, "I love you so much. I-I thought that this was it. That I'd never see you again. That you betrayed me-"

"Never," You interrupted, your voice fierce despite how it was breaking, "I never will. You're all I want, all I need. I should have been there, I'm so sorry-"

"No more apologies," Astarion murmered, pressing a quick kiss to your bloody mouth, "No more. We're here. That's all that matters."

You nodded, kissing him again, so sweet despite everything that should have made it sour. Despite his own words, Astarion couldn't help the white hot shame that passed through him. How could he have doubted you, even for a moment? Doubted this, the most beautiful that ever happened to him. Never again would he question what you had together, to let his mind be poisoned by others.

But there would be more time for the two of you later. The rest of your lives if he had anything to say about it. But for now...you freed him. And it was his turn to do the same.

Astarion pulled back, sighing as he looked around the room at his brethren. They were still hanging in the air, all privy to quite the show. He freed them, forgave them even, despite every horrid thing they'd done to eachother over the years.

But that didn't stop him from clocking Petras squarely in the face the second his feet touched the floor. The other man took it well enough, fully knowing that Astarion was capable of much, much worse. Though he was well aware that Petras had been compelled to kidnap him, it didn't change the fact that the punch was very satisfying.

As for the rest of the spawn, the thousands trapped here, he let them go as well. Down to the Underdark, where they could at least have a chance of controlling their feral nature before associating with mortals again.

Then it was time to leave this wretched place, forever. He would never be hurt here again, never controlled. He was free, finally. And with you by his side, what else could he ever ask for?

[ymeisli]

Codywan Week Day 7, Armor

@codywanweek

i love obiwans clone wars armor too much i had to draw it

[moplopbool]

Hera & her children! Each of these relationships has an interesting dynamic that I love imagining about 😊

[ Translation to second pic:

Hermes: Are you doing well, mother?

Hera: Well enough, run along and tell him(derogatory) to get here quickly.

Hermes: Your wish is my command :) ]

[superxstarzz]

I missed panel editing, so here's some things w my god tier kid designs :3

[richardcameron]

“There just isn’t enough content to support Stevepop, they’re just best friends” you've obviously not mastered the art of over analyzing the subtext

[cozybells]

yeah you'll hurt me

[grimalkinmessor]

Was thinking about Light Yagami—again, help—and thought "If Light Yagami wants something, then he's going to get it" but then I realized. No. No, that's not right. Because Light is also the type of guy to convince himself that he doesn't want things. So like,,,only in surges of destructive behavior does he insist on getting what he wants.

Someone spills wine on Light's shirt? Laugh it off but start up a thirty-two step plan to ruin their life.

Light wants some ice cream? No he doesn't. What are you talking about? He's never wanted any sort of dessert in his life because that would be childish and also selfish of him.

An uncle called him a 'sissy boy' for playing the piano? Uncover the drugs in his car and, if there aren't any, plant some. Make sure they're discovered at the largest family gathering possible in front of plenty of witnesses. He will spend seven years in jail.

Light likes a certain band and wants to listen to their music, go to a concert even? Nope. Never heard of them. Who? He doesn't need CDs and his father just bought him a computer for school so really a music player would be excess. Plus he's not one of those heathens that likes to study to music, obviously.

And thinking about that, I think L breaks him out of that mindset by teasing out Light's pettiness. L turns everything into a challenge, a game to win, so Light's more "foolish" wants are no longer childish—they're a victory. L turns Light's simplest desires into petty revenge, and so he'll chase them.

Light would never ask or even search for an expensive gourmet breakfast food on his own, but handcuff him to L and have him watch his every meal, then Light's damn well going to make sure he enjoys it. Light wants silk pajamas because the sheets are uncomfortable, Ryuzaki, really—it has nothing to do with the fact that you turned the thermostat down when Light said he was cold. Suddenly Light enjoys ice cream again but only when it comes from L's bowl when he's not looking.

[lighthouseas]

established byler going clothes shopping together and mike tries on a leather jacket that he's kind of Unsure in. like he isn't sure if it looks good on him. so of course he consults will and is like hey how does this look ? (while doing a little flex ofc) and will is so error 404 cannot compute system shutdown about it. like. mike is waving a hand in his face , starting to get worried because he thinks will hates it and will is just 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 because All he can think about is the outline of mike's arms in the jacket and how it matches his hair and Oh Dear He Has Forgotten To Respond .

so instead, he just pulls mike into the nearest dressing room and lets him know how much he likes it with a makeout session CIVILIZED CONVERSATION

[mountainshroom]

Felt silly with them

[malin-la]

You can pry this adhd x autism couple from my cold dead hands

[time-woods]

So if Scarab is like super cold most of the time is Prismo like super warm? (As a super warm person my super cold partner is always amazed at how warm I am)

If soooo how does bug boy feel abt the warmth?

he makes up any excuse to be next to him i imagine

(they ar watching movies in a pillowfort ))

[blushweddinggowns]

Part 2 to this!

Eddie had never considered himself to be a lucky person. Could anyone really blame him? For one thing, he was eaten alive last year. And that wasn’t even counting the fact that he had been a twenty-year old, drug-dealing highschooler before he was sent to literal hell. All after witnessing multiple horrifying homicides. 

But now that he had Steve Harrington on top of him, shoving his tongue down his throat like his life depended on it, he felt like the luckiest man in the world. 

Part of him still couldn’t believe that it was happening at all. He had been fully prepared to just play the part of the pining best friend and suffer through his unrequited crush. He even convinced himself that it would slowly disappear after he got off the high of seeing Steve all bloody and gorgeous in an alternate reality.

But it didn’t. It just got worse and worse. Eddie’s crush just bloomed into a full-blown love. Because Steve Harrington was nothing like he expected. Eddie had never experienced this much whiplash when getting to know someone before. Steve went from highschool bully, to a monster fighting badass, and landed on an adorable, snarky goofball who Eddie basically wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

It had felt like such a long shot when he asked the question. The question that had been haunting him for months, but Eddie couldn’t help but ask. Not after everything he’d seen. At first he thought it was all in his head, just his overactive imagination trying to convince him he wasn’t alone in his feelings. 

But then he started noticing things. Like how Steve was always available to him, even when he had better options open. It was around the third time he witnessed Steve tell a pretty girl, “Sorry, I have plans tonight,” for him to raise a brow. Because the only plans he ever had was doing stupid shit with him. 

It was when he actually rejected Nancy in favor of getting high and listening to music in Eddie’s room that he got optimistically suspicious. It made him pay more attention, the little voice inside his head was getting louder and louder, that told him, maybe, just maybe, Eddie wasn’t the only one in love here. 

So Eddie let himself get a little bolder, terrified all the while but determined to figure out what was going on here. 

It was small things at first, touches that he would let linger. A hand on Steve’s waist when they puttered around the kitchen together, always giving him a little squeeze before he let go. Brushing his bangs out of his face, his hand curling around his ear before pulling away. Resting his head in Steve’s lap when they were sprawled out on the couch, talking about nothing and everything for hours. 

He didn’t miss the way Steve’s cheeks would redden at every touch, or the sweet little smile put on when he thought Eddie wasn’t looking. It made him feel emboldened, and terribly hopeful. 

So he let himself do more, obvious things that were not normal between two male platonic best friends. He waited until night, because despite what Steve said Eddie was not a brave man. At least then if Steve rejected the hell out of him, he’d never have to see his face. 

In theory it should have been easy. They shared a bed almost every night anyway, Eddie always making easy excuses to explain away why Steve didn’t need to go home. 

It was too late, it was cold outside, the trailer was closer to his work anyway, he could still be high from a hit he took two hours ago, Eddie wasn’t above a single excuse. And Steve never complained, he’d just nod along, agreeing to whatever stupid thing Eddie could think of for the night. 

They slept back to back, trying to hold onto some semblance of normal between them. And Eddie would be lying if he said the thought of breaking it didn’t scare the hell out of him, but that didn’t stop him from draping an arm over Steve’s waist one night. He had pulled him against his chest, heart on the verge of exploding as he waited for Steve’s reaction. 

He hadn’t expected him to turn over in his arms, and Eddie had been almost sure that he was doing it to ask him what the fuck he was doing. But Steve just sighed, all relaxed and happy as he snuggled into his chest, wrapping his own arm around Eddie’s waist.  They woke up tangled together, happy and restful. 

They never talked about it, but every night when Eddie opened up his arms, Steve went right into them. And God did Eddie love it, he loved him. And the idea that there was any chance he could be with him and he wasn’t taking it, was killing him. So he took a shot, and asked the question that had been plaguing him for months. 

And it fucking worked. Here he was, vindicated and rewarded with the most handsome, funny, kind boyfriend to ever live. In all honesty, not that much changed between them, considering how they were basically dating back when they considered themselves “friends”. But now there was the added bonus of being able to kiss the living hell out of him whenever he wanted. And the fact that Steve had apparently been holding out on him, because overnight he became the clingest cuddler Eddie had ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

Whether that be hugs from behind, arms draped around his neck in bed, or Steve clambering up into Eddie’s lap whenever the opprunintuity arose. And it was so fucking cute it made Eddie feel like he could die from happiness. And when he returned the favor, Steve would just melt. A hand on his thigh while they drove, an arm around his waist at friendly get togethers, any small touch was enough to make Steve a blushing, gooey mess. 

The whole thing was amazing and Eddie had never been happier. 

There was just one problem. 

For the life of him, Eddie couldn’t stop making him cry. 

The first time, he understood. It had been a bit of a dick move on his end, to force Steve to admit his feelings because Eddie was too chicken-shit to do it himself. He should have thought about that and he'd apologized more than once for the way he handled the whole thing, even if Steve insisted it was more than fine. He just…never wanted to be the cause of that sad, dejected face ever again. 

But then he did it again, completely accidentally. It had been a lazy Sunday morning, the both of them deciding to sleep in until someone from the outside world forced them out of bed. Eddie woke up first, blinking into the late morning light. Steve was draped across his chest, still sound asleep and only slightly drooling on him.

Eddie ran a hand through his tousled hair, completely lovestruck. The small movement was enough to have Steve shift against him, mumbling about it being too early to wake up. But Eddie was already trailing his hands down his back, more than ready to tickle him awake if need be. And it worked, it always worked, because the next thing he knew Steve was batting his hands away, a tired laugh escaping as he finally opened his eyes. 

He groaned as he blinked into the light, pouting up at Eddie as he rubbed his eyes, “You’re lucky you’re pretty Munson. Or I would have kicked you out of bed by now.”

Eddie grinned, wrapping his arms around him a little tighter, “You’d kick me out of my own bed? That’s cold Stevie.”

“My bed now. A consequence of being with me,” Steve laughed, snuggling closer, “It’s in the contract.”

The snarky comment on his tongue died the second Eddie looked down at him. Steve just looked so…relaxed. Unfairly handsome and happy to be there, tracing patterns along Eddie’s bare chest. He was struck with the realization that he wanted this for the rest of his life. Just Steve, with his bed-head and sleepy smile. Eddie had to look away, staring up at the ceiling as he was suddenly overwhelemed by just how much he loved this guy. 

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, embarrassingly earnest, “I think you’re the love of my life.”

Steve was quiet, but he could feel him nodding along as he traced Eddie’s collarbone. For a second, Eddie thought he just hadn’t heard him, and was doing that thing when he pretended like he did. He was a few seconds away from teasingly calling him out for it when he heard it. A soft sniffle, accompanied by a wet feeling, dripping onto him. 

Eddie glanced down, eyes widening at the sight of Steve wiping his tears away, trying and failing to be quiet about it. 

Eddie sat up, slightly panicked as he dragged Steve up with him, “Steve? Baby, what’s wrong? Was it what I said?”

Steve let out a wet laugh, “Not at all. I-fuck, Eddie I think you’re mine too. I swear this hasn’t happened before.”

Eddie was too worried to show how ecstatic that confession made him feel. He held Steve’s face in his hands, wiping away a few tears with his thumbs, “But you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear.” Steve sighed, leaning into the touch, “I’m just being a fucking weirdo.”

“My weirdo.” Eddie corrected before kissing him, the salty taste of his tears be damned. Eddie reasoned that he was probably just overwhelmed, which was normal, considering how Eddie was speedrunning the pace of their relationship. It was a fluke, and that was fine.

But then it happened again. 

It had been a completely normal day, no fights with anyone, no problems at the video store or with any of Eddie’s clients. They were watching a movie on the couch, Eddie’s head resting in Steve’s lap as Fame rolled on in the background. Steve was braiding his hair, absentminded as they commented on the muscial, both agreeing that Robin had really oversold it. 

Though Eddie was a sucker for the New York based movies. He used to dream about running away there when he was a teenager. Working and playing in dingy bars until he was magically discovered and skyrockerted into stardom. But now, at the ripe old age of twenty one, he was much more interested in going wherever Steve would follow. 

He watched the screen, mind wandering as he asked,  “Where would you want to go when we leave Hawkins?”

The hands in his hair paused for a split second before Steve answered, “W-what do you mean?”

“When the kids graduate,” Eddie continued, missing the stutter in Steve’s voice, “We won’t really have any reason to stay here right? It’s probably about time that Wayne got the bachelor pad back anyway.” 

“You…you want to live with me?”

Eddie let out a small laugh, rolling his eyes, “Babe, I don’t know if you’re aware but we kind of already live together.”

He watched the screen, someone whose name he forgot was starting another monolouge, “New York is a bit much, but Indianapolis could probably work. Somewhere with some options, y’know?”

Steve cleared his throat above him, fingers still working in his hair, “Y-yeah. Sounds good.”

Eddie smiled, pleased as he went back to trying to follow the plot. Then he felt something wet hit his cheek. He scrunched his nose up, confused as he shifted to look up at Steve, heart jumping when he realized what was happening. 

“Holy shit, don’t look at me for a minute.” Steve groaned, covering his face with his hands, failing to hide his sniveling, “Seriously, just ignore me.”

Eddie sat up, ignoring Steve’s protests as he pried his hands from his face, “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing!” Steve insisted, avoiding Eddie’s eyes, “I swear, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.”

“Sweetheart, if moving in together is too much to talk about that’s fine-”

“No!” Steve interrupted, voice loud in the small space between them, “I-I mean, that’s not the problem. Of course I want to live with you.”

“I don’t want to pressure you-”

“You’re not,” Steve insisted, grabbing Eddie's hands. He squeezed them, warm and comforting, “Whatever is wrong with me has nothing to do with you, or us. I swear.”

Eddie nodded, even if the worry didn’t fully leave his head. He couldn’t help it, because it just kept happening. Eddie was averaging on making Steve tear up at least once a month and everytime he would insist he was fine. That it wasn’t Eddie’s fault, he was just being a freak. 

It’s not like Eddie minded. In fact he kind of liked comforting him. And it didn’t help that Steve was fucking adorable when he cried. With his scrunched up nose and pretty wet eyes, Eddie was more than happy to be the one to kiss his tears away.  

He just wished he could figure out why it was happening, because despite what Steve said, he knew that he was the cause. It only happened when they were alone together, usually right after Eddie said or did something particularly mushy. He just wanted to know what he was doing wrong. 

It was starting to keep him up at night, and as embarrassing as it was, Eddie was having anxiety nightmares about Steve leaving him for someone who wasn’t making him weep on a semi-regular basis. 

Eddie blinked into the night, waking up from another one of those stupid dreams. He blindly reached over for Steve, his hand hitting the empty mattress with a thud. Eddie groaned, assuming he was in the bathroom, but knowing there was no way he was getting back to sleep without having him next to him. 

Eddie stood, deciding to get some water while he waited for him to come back. He stepped out of his room into the dark hall, cocking his head at the odd scene in front of him. The phone cord was stretched from the kitchen to the bathroom, peeking out through the half cracked door.  

Eddie stopped infront of it, curious as he made out what Steve was whispering through the phone, "Robin, if I cry in front of him one more time I'm going to have to change my name and flee the country."

Eddie snorted behind his hand, quiet enough to not be heard. He leaned in a little closer, fully aware that he should just turn around and not be an eavesdropping dick, but…if he could just find out why Steve kept crying, maybe he could actually do something to stop it. 

"I'm not telling him. I'm lucky I haven't scared him off yet as it is."

Eddie frowned, confused. That didn’t make sense, there was nothing Steve could do to scare him off, not after everything they had been through. Didn’t he know that? 

Steve sighed into the phone, sad and resigned, "I just…I don’t know how much more I can fall in love with him. When he ends it…it's going to fucking kill me."

Eddie could feel his heart stop in his chest. Where the hell did that come from? Sometimes Eddie spent half of his day just day-dreaming about their future, and here Steve was, thinking that he was going to end the best thing that ever happened to him?

"I know, I know. Maybe you're right. I love you too, I'll see you tomorrow."

Eddie backed away from the door, still feeling vaguely ill at what he’d heard. He slipped into bed, pretending to still be asleep when Steve eventually followed. He was back in bed for maybe five seconds before Eddie was reaching for him, tucking him tightly into his arms, like he could cuddle the doubts out of him. 

Eddie could barely sleep that night, mind-racing on what he could do to make Steve realize that he wasn’t going anywhere. It made sense, in the grand scheme of things. Steve’s parents were total shit heads who had no appreciation for the wonderful son they had. The only other person he’d fallen in love with besides Eddie ended up cheating on him, right after drunkenly declaring the fact that she never loved him back. 

And that wasn’t even mentioning his “best friends” who dropped him the second he decided to stop acting like a dick in highschool. Now that he was thinking about it, Eddie was kicking himself for not putting the pieces together sooner. 

Of course Steve would be worried about that. But Eddie wasn’t like them, he’d never be like them. In his head, the only way this relationship was ending was if Steve dumped him, not the other way around. 

If Eddie was extra clingy that morning, Steve didn’t complain. Even if he was making it a bitch for him to get ready for work. Eddie was still draped all over him by the time he was trying to get out the door, laughing at his antics all the while. 

“Someone’s needy today, huh?” Steve chuckled, prying Eddie’s arms away from his neck, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“That’s not soon enough,” Eddie whined, going as far as to follow him to the car. He kissed him goodbye through the window, not giving a single shit who saw them. Not when it made Steve blush and beam at him. He waved at him as he drove away, a plan already forming in his head as he started his day. 

If Steve had fears, Eddie would just love them right out of him. No reason to make a big deal out of anything, not when Steve was already so embarrassed about the whole thing. He would play it cool, and slowly but surely alleviate all of the anxieties. 

That was the plan, but the plan went straight out the window that same night. Basically the second he laid eyes on him after stepping through the front door. Steve wasn’t even doing anything. Just sitting on the couch, lazily watching TV. But then he noticed him, gave him that bright smile, and the floodgates just opened.

“I love you.” Eddie blurted out, making his way towards him, “Like I really fucking love you.”

Steve cocked his head, confused but still happy to see him. He shuffled over for Eddie to sit next to him, “I love you too?”

Eddie shook his head, “I mean I love everything about you Steve. Everything.” 

Steve stared at him, surprise still painted on his face, but Eddie just kept going, aware on some level, that he probably sounded slightly unhinged, but he didn’t care. He needed Steve to understand, “I love how much you care about everyone. I love how you take care of me, and how you let me take care of you. I love how your hair sticks up in every direction in the morning, and how you get pouty whenever you wake up. I love it when you’re bitchy and you make fun of my music. I love it when you get too excited and scream at the TV over basketball. I love the little blush you get whenever I call you pretty. I love all of it, and I want it for the rest of my life. ”

Steve laughed, quiet and nervous as he looked away, ‘What the hell are you even talking about?”

But Eddie wasn’t having that. He grasped his face, tilting his chin up to force them eye to eye. The tears were already starting to form, but Eddie wasn’t worried. He knew what they meant this time, “I’m talking about how you’re the only person I’ll ever want. I’m talking about how I want a life with you Steve. You and no one else.”

The tears were really falling now, and Steve was looking at him like he ripped his heart out, versus perfusing his undying love, “You…you shouldn’t say shit like that Eddie. You don’t know how things will change later on.”

Eddie shook his head, steadfast, “I’ll never not want you. I’m serious Steve. You’re it for me.”

They stared at eachother, Steve searching his face as Eddie kissed his tear-stained cheeks, “I want to believe you.”

“It’s okay that you don’t yet,” Eddie murmured, “I’ll just spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

Steve let out a weak laugh, pulling away from his hands to hide his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck, his self-proclaimed safe space, “You promise?”

Eddie kissed the top of his head, “I swear.”

It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen. Their days together became months, months became years. Eddie never went a day without reminding him how much he was loved, Steve stopped waiting for the day that Eddie was going to leave, and slowly but surely, the tears stopped with it. 

It was ten years to that day, ten amazing years with the love of his life, when Eddie found him in their kitchen, making coffee and yawning while he absentmindely stared out the window, just as adorable at thirty-one as he was at twenty. 

He wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, kissing at his neck with a pleased hum, “You believe me now?”

Steve sighed, sleepy and happy as he leaned back into him, “Yeah, I think I do.”

[introspectivememories]

high school timber is all about repression!!!

it's about bernard desperately trying to prove to himself and his parents that he's straight!! because his parents already don't like him and he cannot be gay. not now not ever!!!! so he puts up this front of a ladies man and he picks a girl he cant ever get together with and maybe he kisses like 3/4 of the female population at grieves and gains a reputation but hey! at least he's not gay! but he's so caught up in making sure his eyes don't to stick too long on tyrone's face or michael-from-biology's eyes or kabir-from-study-hall's thick thighs that even his attraction to women is under a filter. and it's not that he doesn't like women, he does! very much so!! but it's that he's soo caught on not being perceived as gay that he cant show his attraction to women the way he'd like to. it's all under this filter of what he thinks Real Men who are attracted to women act like so it's this brash, loud, crass, thing and it's not him at all. it's "ooh tim, ms. winters is soooo hot!" or "hey kayla, why don't you and i get to know each other a little better, if you know what i mean?" or "god her tits are soo big. she's so fucking hot!" and all this other shit when he really means, "tim, why the fuck does your stepmom have such a pretty smile?" or "kayla, you said you liked yugioh? i'd love to hear more about it!" or "god fuck, that girl has such pretty hands. i think if i held them i'd combust." but none of that is how a Real Man likes women so he shuts that shit down before it even has a chance to come up. it's fine, he's fine. so what if no one ever holds him like he holds those girls? it's fine. he'll take the manwhore label and the fuckboy title and he'll give out as many kisses as those girls want and if sometimes when he's kissing a girl he wonders what it'd be like to sit on kabir's thighs or if tyrone's lips really are as soft as they look, that's just the devil speaking. and if sometimes when he walks back into the cafeteria at lunch, lipstick still smudged on the corner of his mouth, after making out with a girl and his eyes skirt over tim's lithe body and he wonders what it'd be like to draw out the same sounds he's heard girls make when he kisses them, or what it'd be like to brush his thumb over tim's hands, or what it'd be like to hold tim or press a kiss to his shoulder, or a million and one other things, well that'll just have to be another one his secrets.

and it's about tim who's in a relationship with stephanie and his dad knows he's robin and he doesn't have time to figure out why his mouth goes dry when the light hits bernard's hair just right. he's too busy trying to figure out a way back to his nightlife. and so what if bernard has pretty pink lips that look very plush? so what if he's looked at some of his teammates and thought they were handsome? he's not blind!!! he has a girlfriend! and he loves her! and so what if his hand brushes bear's during fourth-period bio? so what if the tingles last all day? it was just some static! and it doesn't matter that when bear laughs his eyes get squinty and they water over -- cause bear always laughs so hard he almost cries -- and it sounds like bells. and it doesn't even matter, that sometimes when bernard walks back into the lunchroom, 10 minutes before the bell rings, lipstick smeared across the corner of his mouth, lips tilted up in the most charming smirk he's ever seen, that his chest fills with jealousy. it doesn't matter that his hands clench into fists so hard that his nails leave crescents marks all day. it doesn't matter that he wants to be bear's flavor of the day, week, month, whatever. he wants to leave the lipstick marks!! he wants to know if bear really is as good as he hears the girls speak about!!! he wants to know "that thing bernard does with his tongue!" is! he wants to drape himself over bear the same way he sees those girls do! he wants to know what bear's hands feel like gripping his waist. he wants, wants, wants!!! but it doesn't matter. it doesn't. he's got a girlfriend, her name is stephanie, she's gorgeous and, most importantly he loves her. he's too busy for bernard anyway.

[lanadelreis]

y’all i had a thought of lisa and the creature drawn with this pose it’s genuinely making me loose my marbles waaaahhhhh /pos