#god please don't let my writing inspiration die again....

[golbrocklovely]

privacy please // colby brock

A/N: me, posting more than once a month??? INCREDIBLE. i was midway thru writing "let's fall in love for tonight" when this idea popped into my head and i just had to write it down. part of this is inspired by a tiktok i saw of a girl talking about a time she was hooking up with a guy. i wish i could find the tiktok and share it with you all bc the moment she said what she said.... i just knew i had to include it in a fic at some point lol so shoutout to that girl. this is a short fic/blurb bc i have some other fics lined up that are gonna be full blown smut so i don't want to tucker myself out writing smut only. and if you see me using what happens in this fic in other fics.... say nothing sksks lmk what you think and i'll see you guys next time <3

prompt: you and colby just want some privacy, but the only place you can get it is in his car. || fem!reader x colby brock

trigger warning: light smut (no actual sex), cursing, making out in a car, fluff, already established relationship

word count: 1363

~~~~~~~~

"This is so ridiculous." Colby groaned, pulling away from our kiss.

I giggled, staring up at his annoyed face. "No it's not, it's kinda fun."

"How is this fun? I feel like I'm gonna pull a hamstring." He scoffed.

I sassed him, rolling my eyes. "Well, it's your fault you don't have a car big enough for your five foot eleven ass."

"I don't think I was meant to lay out horizontally in my car." He replied back, just as snarky.

"Well, blame Toyota," I sat up on my elbows, huffing. Does he think I'm comfortable in this cramped back seat? "Or better yet, Sam and Kat for wanting to have their friends over when all we want to do is fuck."

"Maybe if you weren't so loud, we could have sex in my room without everyone knowing." Colby raised an eyebrow at me daringly. I could see his bottom lip quiver as he tried to hold back a laugh.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You never seemed to have a problem with my screaming before. I'll gladly remember next time you're begging me to say your name to be quiet."

He gasped, legitimately upset. "Begging?! I don't beg."

"'C'mon baby, say my name.'" I mocked in a deep voice. "What's that sound like to you?"

"Commanding!" He barked.

"Not when you're breathy it ain't!" I jeered sarcastically.

Colby sat up quickly, pouting jokingly. He kept my legs on his lap, his hands cupping my ankles. I sighed deeply, smiling up at the ceiling of the car. "Are you really not enjoying this?"

He chuckled, the 'tension' in the car defusing. "I enjoy any time I get to be alone with you."

I hummed, "Good to know. I think this is kinda exciting. It feels like I'm a teenager again, sneaking around with a boyfriend my mom doesn't know about."

"Am I, like, your edgy boyfriend?" He questioned, side eyeing me.

"Oh yeah. You have tattoos, wear all black, curse, drink..." I gasped, "Oh my God, you're, like, so cool."

Colby bit his lip, staring at me intensely. "Get over here."

He grabbed my wrists lightly, pulling me up. I straddled him, a soft grunt falling from his lips as a I settled onto his lap. "Much better." He murmured.

I studied his face for a moment, taking in all the little details I could. The way his hair fell, covering his forehead. The lovely shape of his eyebrows, manicured without him trying - which was honestly the most annoying thing about him. He also had surprisingly long eyelashes for a man, something I was jealous about as well. His eyes - which of course were to die for. So blue and deep. I had stared into them so many times I had lost count. I never saw the end of them, never studied them long enough to know every intricate detail about them. I don't think there would ever be enough time to do that.

"Hi." Colby whispered, softly smiling.

A light blush came to my cheeks, "Hi."

My hands cupped his face sweetly, his eyes closing at the feeling. I gazed at his cheeks; how adorable they were. I would try my best to remind him that even though he didn't like them himself, I enjoyed his "chubby" cheeks. His dimples. Oh my GOD, his dimples. If I could, I would take a picture of every time I was able to make his dimples appear. I would fill a whole photo album of just his face smiling. And I can't forget his nose. His nose was so... masculine, in an interesting way. It fit his face perfectly. Angular with a slight point.

And then of course his lips. I've had dreams of just kissing him. Of just staring at his mouth. Sometimes it's hard to pay attention to him when he talks because all I can think about is his lips and what they've done to me, and what they plan to do.

He laced his fingers through mine, finally breaking the silence in the car. "What's going on in that head of yours? You look so lost in thought."

"I'm just... looking at you." I confessed.

"You like what you see?" He mumbled.

"Love." I emphasized.

He nodded his head, his eyes filled with adoration. He rested his forehead against mine, our lips brushing. His hand slid out of mine, meeting his other on the small of my back. "You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me."

"The feeling is completely mutual." I agreed.

"Good to know...." He leaned in and pecked my lips gently, almost taking my breath away. He pushed my body into his, pressing me as closely as he could. I deepened the kiss, my fingers tugging on his hair. His tongue slid into my mouth, a moan leaving my lips. My hips naturally grinded down onto him, his hands gripping my waist a little harder from the friction.

He moved his mouth from mine, kissing down my neck and finding the perfect spot in seconds. I lulled my head back, allowing him to attack my neck with his lips and tongue and teeth. I whimpered, my hips bucking against his. He pushed his up, grinding just against the right spot to make my breath hitch. I could feel him getting harder under me, pressing against me in the most sinful way. His hands drifted to my thighs, rubbing up and down them.

"You know..." Colby chimed in, breathlessly. "I really love these fishnets."

I uttered, in a daze. "Wha-?"

He continued his motions, causing goosebumps to form on my skin, "I really like that you wear fishnets. They look so sexy on you."

I cleared my throat, finally able to think again. "Um, thank you."

"It's too bad they just take forever to get off." He somewhat grumbled, dropping his head.

I shrugged halfheartedly. "Yeah, I guess."

"How many pairs do you have?" He asked, looking back up at me.

"Of fishnets? Like five or so." I guessed.

Colby nodded. "And how much was this pair?

"What?" I squinted at him, confused. He blinked, wanting me to continue. "Uh, they were like $25."

"Okay...." He paused, his hands resting on top of my thighs. "Remind me to pay you back."

Before I could say anything, Colby's grip tightened on the fishnets. His fingers laced through the holes in the material. He pulled his arms back, ripping the fishnets with ease. I shuttered at his action, gasping in awe, anger, and lust at seeing him tear them without any problems. Feeling them rip from my body, my skin now exposed, caused heat to rush to my sex. My underwear grew even more wet as my eyes met his dark ones.

"Colby! What the fuck?!" I yelled.

"Don't tell me you didn't like that." He grew close to my face, his voice lowering, "Don't lie to me, baby."

I stammered, trying to form words under his lustful gaze. "T-That's not the point. What are you, an animal?"

"Only with you, darling." He whispered harshly.

My breath raced as I glared into Colby's eye. He had such a devilish look to him, and while I was pissed he would rip my favorite tights, it was also extremely hot.

"Fuck, I hate you." I yanked his face forward, forcing his lips onto mine deeply. He smirked against the kiss, humming a response playfully. I snaked my tongue into his mouth, needing to taste him.

He pulled away, catching his breath at my expense. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can't exactly get on top of you."

"If you have to fuck me in the trunk, then so be it. I just need you to do it now." I gripped his shirt, wanting it off his body.

He laughed darkly. "I don't know... you're demanding a lot for someone that's very breathy."

"Colby, don't fucking tease me." I grabbed his hand, sliding it into my underwear and putting his fingers against my heat. I breathed, "I'm so wet for you."

He swallowed hard, his pupils dilating. "Okay... I think we can manage something."

[gizmo-writes]

caught | spencer reid

warnings: kidnapping, allusion to rape, loss of virginity (not by choice), guns, fuck or die trope, being shot, crying, pain, concussion, spencer is the biggest sweet heart, hospitals, talk of Spencer's trauma, happy ending?

special shout out to @imagining-in-the-margins they are an amazing writer! they inspired me to write this so a huge huge thank you to them!

Your head pounded, you felt light headed and dizzy. You tried to open your eyes but your head hurt too much. The cold floor grounded you, it was a nice constant. You could hear a voice but couldn't quite place it, it echoed in your mind only making your head hurt more. You groaned, you couldn't get up, everything hurt too much. And there was that damned voice again, speaking way too loudly for your comfort. "Please stop," you whimpered, your body ached to the point that you felt nauseous. "Y/n, please.. tell me you're okay," the voice said but once again you groaned. "Shh," you said, trying to get them to stop speaking.

You faintly heard the noise of a lock clicking but you didn't quite understand what it meant. But before you could even think, you felt hands on your body. The hands were gentle on your arms, trying to help you move but you didn't want to. "It's me, y/n It's me. It's spencer. Talk to me." He said. Spencer, oh thank god it was spencer. "Stop, i don't wanna move," you said, voice shaking. "Okay, okay. We won't move, im just gonna put your head in my lap." He said. Once again, you were groaning as he did so. You could feel him moving but you refused to open your eyes. He placed the fabric of his sweater on your forehead, you must've been bleeding, that's the only reason he'd do that. "Can you open your eyes? I need to check if you have a concussion." Spencer said. You whined, "it hurts, everything hurts." You said. "I know, I know but I need to know you're okay. After that you can close your eyes again." He said. You forced your eyes open, looking up at spencer. You would've been so happy to see him but he looked horrible. He was disheveled and obviously been crying. He never cries, why was he crying?

"Follow my finger, okay baby?" He said. You did your best but it was hard. You kept having to close your eyes because the pain was too much. Spencer sighed, giving up, "you probably have a concussion. You can close your eyes now. Just relax, I've got you." He said, petting your hair gently in hopes it would help you relax. "What happened?" You asked after a few moments of silence. "The unsub we've been hunting... he got us. But I'll keep you safe, i promise." He said. "Spencer, we- we've been through this. We don't make promises," you said softly. You were right and Spencer knew that. You two never made promises in hopes you two could never be let down by the inevitable broken promises. He never promised to be home on time due to the fact that it was almost impossible that he would be home on time. You never promised to stay up for him because it was so hard to stay up late in hopes he'd be home on time. Promises were almost never kept, it wasn't ever anyone's fault. You both knew that.

"Is the team on the way?" You asked, hoping, praying they were closer than you thought. Spencer sighed, he didn't answer, instead just leaning down and kissing the top of your head. That wasn't a good sign. "Just relax, remember how you've been planning that beach trip?" Spencer said. "That was supposed to be a surprise," you sighed softly. "I know, but I saw your laptop.. I've been thinking about it ever since. I've never liked the beach but i think with you.. I could really enjoy it. Finding a nice shady spot where I can read and you can drink your fancy little cocktails you enjoy so much," he smiled at the thought. You tried to giggle but it hurt, that sounded so nice, so perfect. "Now, i refuse to get into the water.. but I know you would too. The ocean is so vast, so unexplored. You've always hated the unknown but who doesn't. It's a common fear, just like the dark, it makes sense. But it'll be me and you, on a white sandy beach, reading, talking, drinking. It's perfect." He said, never stopping petting your hair.

He kept talking but you couldn't hear it. You started to doze off and he could tell by how your body relaxed. Part of him was worried that if you fell asleep, you might not wake up. But he knew you were strong, you just needed to rest and if you could sleep, then it was best that you did. He couldn't sleep, he refused. He would not let his guard down. He wasn't going to let someone else be taken away from him. It had happened too many times before, he couldn't let it happen again. He stayed vigilant, keeping an eye on your breathing while also looking around the dark room for any escape or any object he could use to protect the two of you. There was nothing, it was a dark room with a bed in the middle. Not a nice bed, just a mattress thrown onto the floor. He noticed the shackles and his stomach turned in knots, he didn't even wanna think about those being used, especially not on you.

He enjoyed the silence, being able to hear your soft breathing brought him solace. He was as comfortable as he could be in a moment like this. It did worry him how long it had been since the unsub had done anything. Was the unsub out? Was he not home, the team had profiled that the unsub had a family so it made sense he wasn't here. But he didn't know what time it was. It had to have been day if the unsub wasn't here. It meant he was either at work or with his family. But he dreaded when the unsub would be back. He knew a little about how it would go. The unsub took couples, made them have sex before he killed them. He never kept them longer than 3 days. The time was ticking and it was breaking his heart.

You woke up after maybe a couple of hours, you weren't sure. You felt somewhat better. Your body ached but not as badly, your head hurt but you were able to open your eyes. You looked up at spencer. "Spence?" You asked, gaining his attention. "Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked gently. "Better... or as much better as I can be." You sighed. "That's good, how's your head? It stopped bleeding." He said, examining the cut on your forehead. "It hurts but not as bad.." you said. You tried to move but spencer stopped you. "Hey, hey, take it slow." He said. He helped you sit up, very slowly. "There we go, can you look at me?" He asked. You did as he asked. He gave you a gentle smile, moving hair from your face. "You seem a little pale, how's your stomach?" He asked. "I'm nauseous.. but I think it's from the pain." You said. "I understand." He said.

There was a loud buzzing noise making you cover your ears, the noise made your head hurt. A door opened, spencer turned to see the unsub wearing a mask. He sat down a tray of food, along with a bottle of water. He pushed them into the room before slamming the door shut. The noise made you jump. You opened your eyes, uncovering your ears. "What is that?" You asked. "Food.. water.." spencer slowly stood. This was new.. the unsub never fed his victims, never kept them hydrated. The ME reporter the victims had no food in their system for three days. This wasn't right. Spencer grabbed the tray and the water and brought it over to you. You went to reach for the bread but spencer stopped you. "It might be poisonous.." he said, you nodded before pulling back. Spencer inspected the bottle of water, he knew you needed water. Dehydration would only make the concussion worse. It hadn't looked like it had been tampered with. No small holes to indicate poison. No broken seal to indicate it would be replaced with something else. He even took the label off to further investigate but it looked clean. "Okay, take sips. Don't chug it." Spencer said, opening the water. He brought it to your lips, you took the bottle with shaking hands and did as he said, only taking sips of the water.

He went back to the food, he didn't trust it but it also wouldn't make sense to poison it if he was planning on keeping the two of you. "I'm sorry y/n.. I don't think we should eat it. It's not safe, too many variables." He said. You nodded and watched as he pushed the tray to the side. You offered Spencer the water but he shook his head, "you need it baby. Keep taking sips." He said. You wanted to fight him but couldn't, you didn't have it in you. You took a few more sips before closing the bottle and setting it down. "Spence.." you looked around the room, finally taking in your surroundings. It was like he could read your mind, you didn't have to say you were scared. He already knew. He saw it in your eyes. He saw it in the way your hands trembled. "I know.. but it's okay to be scared. It's a natural reaction to what's happening." He explained. You nodded. You pulled your knees to your chest, trying to bring yourself comfort in the cold, dark room. Spencer placed the sweater he had used to stop your bleeding around your shoulders. You took it happily, cuddling into the warmth. "Are you scared?" You asked. Spencer would never admit it, he was ducking terrified. The unsub was deviating from his MO and he didn't know what it meant. He didn't even know if this was the same unsub at this point. His mind was racing and he was so scared but he'd never admit it. He knew you weren't a profiler so he knew he could hide his emotions from you. But he wandered if it was even a good idea. "A little," he admitted, but that's all he gave you.

He was thankful when you didn't push him any further. You took his answer as it was and he was thankful. He wasn't sure what would come next, he had been through so many hostage situations but nothing like this. Nothing where he was stuck with the woman he loved more than anything, nothing where he might be faced to have sex with the woman he loved in a place that he never wanted it to happen at. He had made so many plans in his mind about his first time with you but he never went through with any of them. Not because he didn't want to but because work or his own anxiety got in the way. But he knew for a fact that this wasn't how he wanted it to happen.

The silence quickly ended though when there was another loud buzz, the noise made you shake. Once again the door opened. "Bring me the tray." The unsub said. Spencer grabbed the tray but stopped when the unsub pulled out a gun, pointing it at spencer. "Not you, her." The gun was now pointed at you. Your heart stopped, in reality, it sped up faster than it ever had. "I'm not sure she can stand, she's hurt." Spencer tried to explain but the unsub shook his head. "Bring me the tray or i shoot." He demanded. Tears brimmed your eyes. You stood shakily, spencer was sure you might fall. You didn't though. Spencer saw you about to bend down but he quickly grabbed the tray and handed it to you. Your legs were shaking as you walked. You walked slowly, scared you would fall. Your head pounded just like your heart. You brought the tray to the unsub. The gun was brought to your head and you cried out. "Do not kill her or i swear to god-" Spencer started but was cut off. "I wouldn't kill such a pretty little thing like this. So pure, so innocent. Does he know?" The unsub asked, the gun moving from your temple to under your chin. It didn't take a genius to put together what the unsub had said. But spencer already knew you were a virgin, you never had to say it. He could tell when you kissed, so unsure of yourself. He could tell when your hands shook as your tried to undo the buttons of his shirt for the first time. Every part of your body and how you reacted to him when you two made out screamed virgin, insecurity, unsure of yourself. He knew and you never even had to say it.

"Don't worry darling, I'll film it so you can watch it over and over again. See how he takes that pretty little flower of yours and tears it to shreds. Do you know what men think about when they see a virgin? They only think about one thing, absolutely ruining you. They wanna ruin you, they wanna tear you apart till you are nothing. Then they wanna throw you to the side because guess what? You aren't as special as you think you are, especially after you're no longer a virgin." The unsub said, gun still shoved under your chin. He used it to make you look up at him. "I wanted to tear you to fucking shreds the moment I saw you in that pretty pink dress. So young, so pure. How old are you? 25? Your birthday was recently, I remember the party. You got so drunk that spencer here had to carry you home. I'm surprised he didn't defile you then, take advantage of you. He must really love you if he didn't want to take you right then and there." The unsub said. Tears were streaming down your face by now, you could barely see. You tried to focus, not on his words but on his eyes. It was important to take in every detail you could incase you escaped so you could tell the team what you saw. His eyes were green, nothing special about them. There was nothing identifying about him, no different colored eyes, no black specks that you could place. There was nothing and you felt defeated. "Move back," the unsub said. You did as he said, and with that the door shut.

You couldn't move and neither could spencer. He replayed the whole conversation back in his head. The pretty pink dress he was referring to was the one you wore on your first date with spencer. He knew your birthday, he was at the party. The party was small, close friends and family only. He knew you were a virgin, no one knew that. Unless they were your close friend. This didn't make sense, how did he know so much. They didn't profile the unsub to be a stalker, he was a man that took couples of opportunity. He kept them for three days, never fed them or let them drink. This wasn't the original unsub.. this was someone totally different. This was a stalker, a man who had followed you around for days, months, at this point maybe even years. This was a whole different story, the team didn't know about him. The team wouldn't be here any time soon. And now he had no idea how long the two of you had to live. He had nothing, he had no profile, he had no clues. But maybe, just maybe you knew something.

"Y/n," spencer spoke but you were unmoving. He stood up walking over to you. You were like a statue, the only identifiable form of life was the way your hands shook. "Y/n," he grabbed your shoulders and turned you around to face him. He saw the tears rolling down your cheeks, his heart broke. "Do you know him?" Spencer asked. "His eyes were green spencer, that's all I could see. I couldn't- I didn't see anything else. Spencer I tried but there was nothing-" you were close to breaking down, going on a rant about how you tried so hard to place him. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You did good. You tried. Green eyes, that's good. That's a start." Spencer said, grabbing your shaking hands. He pulled you into his chest, "do you know anyone, any man with green eyes?" He asked. You shook your head, you couldn't place anyone because you couldn't even think straight. He had been watching you for so long and you never noticed and it scared the shit out of you. "Okay, that's okay. We can try something later after you calm down, okay?" He said and you nodded. Spencer brought you back over to the corner where the two of you sat before. He sat down, pulling you between his legs and holding you tightly. The tightness of his arms grounded you, the feeling of the cold floor against your legs also kept you grounded. "We will get through this, no matter what. Okay?" He said and you nodded.

You didn't even notice when Spencer started to speak, he was repeating a book to you. It took you a while to place it, but then you realized, he was quoting Alice in Wonderland, word for word. It was a childhood favorite of yours and he was doing it to comfort you. You buried your head in his arms, crying. As sobs shook through you, spencer held you tighter. He continued to quote the book, he knew it brought you comfort and he was gonna keep you grounded the best way he knew how to. He would never tell you how he was breaking. As time went on, he broke more. He had nothing, no clue about who the unsub was. He was so fucking scared and he didn't know what to do. He thought about trying to subdue the unsub but he had a gun, he could get shot, or worse, you could get shot. He had no way to get help. There were no windows. The door was dead bolted and connected to some sort of mechanism that made it impossible to unlock unless you had the button or passcode or whatever the fuck the unsub had. He was helpless, he had no team, no gun, no profile and no clues. It reminded him of when he was taken by Tobias Hankle. At least then he was able to talk to the unsub, reason with him and get help when needed. Now he had nothing. There was no reasoning with this unsub, his motives were clear. Fuck or Die.

It had become a waiting game, he was able to finish the whole book by the time you had worn yourself out to the point that you passed out. He was anxious, the only solace he found was in playing with your hair. It kept him calm, grounded. He tried to count the time but he kept losing count with every little noise he heard. His heart raced with every sound, so scared the unsub would come back and put the gun back to your head. The image of your body shaking and tears rolling down your face would be forever engrained in his mind. He didn't wanna remember you like that, he wanted to remember you as the sweet, smart girl he knew. The one he fell so hard for. The girl who was the only one who could help him sleep. No matter how many bad cases, bad nights and nightmares he had, he still found comfort in your arms, in the way you played with his hair and sang your favorite songs to him. He was never into pop music, love songs, but when you sang them, they were his own form of heaven. He replayed the songs in his mind as you slept. He never knew who they were by or what they were called but he could recall every single lyric.

It could've been hours by the next time the buzz came and the door opened. You jolted awake, god he wished you had stayed asleep. He didn't want you to go through it again, the gun to your head. "Come here," the unsub said, once again, gun pointed towards spencer. You moved out of Spencer's lap so he could stand up. He walked towards the unsub cautiously, trying to play through the scenarios in his mind. Ones where he'd grab the gun successfully and subdue the unsub. "Don't try to be smart now," The unsub said, gun now pointed at you. His heart sank, all possibilities of subduing the unsub now out the window. You cried again, knees pulled to your chest. "Don't shoot her, I'll cooperate." Spencer said, holding his hands un in defense. "Good," the unsub tossed spencer a pair of keys. Spencer caught them but was confused, he stared at the keys in his hand before looking up at the unsub. "Don't play dumb, you know what to do." The unsub motioned towards the shackles. "No, no, no, we don't need to do that. She'll listen. I promise she will." Spencer said. "What was that that she said earlier? We don't make promises?" The unsub said, spencer could hear the smirk in his voice. He had been listening the whole time.

"I won't- i can't tie her up, please. She- she'll be good. I'll make sure. Please," spencer pleaded. A shot rang out but thankfully it was just at the wall. You screamed, covering your ears. "Okay! Okay, don't shoot! It's okay!" Spencer's ears were ringing. You were quick to move, going over to the bed. You were sobbing and scared and Spencer knew that. He could feel it in every part of his body. He walked over to you, his own hands shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," was all he could say. He grabbed your wrist gently, grabbing the metal cuff and placing it around your wrist. He locked it, he didn't want to but he did. Then he did the next wrist, he was so gentle, so calm. He had to be because he knew if you knew how truly scared he was, you would break. "There, okay, it's done." Spencer said, turning back towards the unsub. The unsub shook his head, "ankles too," he stated. Spencer felt defeated as he looked down at the bed seeing the shackles for your feet. Your legs were pulled to your chest, laying in the fetal position. "P-please don't, please. Please I'll be good," you cried out but the unsub shook his head. "No, do the ankles, now!" He yelled. You moved your legs to lay flat. You closed your eyes, squeezing them shut.

"Hey, hey, listen to me. We're on the beach, yeah? It warm, not too hot, we're not sweating. There's a cool breeze," he spoke as he put the shackles around your ankles. "It's not too cold though, it doesn't make us shiver. You have your music playing.. that one song with the lyrics about, god, what were the lyrics?" For once he couldn't think, he couldn't remember. "The one that goes, "we could leave the Christmas lights up till January," he said. You knew the song, you loved that song. "I-I never understood the lyrics.. leaving the Christmas lights up till January? Why would you do that?" Spencer tried to chuckle but his voice cracked. He couldn't stop the tears from falling. Once he was done with the shackles he looked back at the unsub. "Give me the keys," the unsub said. Spencer nodded, getting up and handing him the keys. With that, the unsub left.

Spencer was quick to be by your side. You broke, struggling in the restraints as you cried. "No, no, relax. You'll hurt yourself. You're already hurt enough, okay?" He said, you couldn't relax. You still struggled, crying. Spencer grabbed your face, "look at me, look at me," Spencer said. You opened your tired eyes, looking at spencer. "It will be okay, i won't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you. If I'm here, you're safe, I'll make sure of it." He said, stroking away the tears on your face. "I wanna go home," you cried. "That's a normal response-" you cried again, "stop! Stop it with the normal responses! This isn't normal! None of this is normal! Please, let me go!" You yelled out, trying to move again. It broke spencer, his eyes squeezing shut as his tears fell onto your shirt. "We'll be home soon, back in bed. Cuddling, watching movies. I promise we can watch a normal movie, none of the old timey russian movies. No need to translate. We can watch Mean girls, or- or some cartoons. We can watch anything you want." He said, trying hard to calm down and calm you down. "Remember- remember when you said you wanted a dog? And i complained, god, i don't know why I complained. We can get a dog now, okay? Any breed, i don't care. We can get a pitbull, a terrier, any dog toy want." He said. "A greyhound?" You asked, sniffling. "Yes, yes, a greyhound. We'll get a greyhound. We'll take him on walks together, bring him to the dog park. He can sleep in our bed, i don't care." Spencer said. He saw a smile from on your face. You leaned into his touch, "maybe we can get a cat too?" You offered. Spencer laughed, "of course, a cat too." He said. You smiled, your crying was slowing down but it didn't stop. He couldn't stop crying either, he tried but it wasn't worth it when he knew it'd start again.

"D-do you think- spencer," you didn't want to finish the sentence. You didn't quite know what you wanted to ask. "It's okay, take your time. We got all day," he tried to joke and it made you smile. "I never wanted our first time to be like this," you whispered. Spencer sighed, "I know, me neither. I wanted it to be with rose petals, music, maybe a nice dinner." He said. "Maybe on a beach," you whispered. Spencer smiled, "you were planning it, weren't you?" He asked, referring to the trip. "I was, but I never- we would never get the time." You giggled. "Your job sucks sometimes," you said. Spencer let out a broken laugh, "it truly does." He said. "But you know, sex on the beach is never what you expect it to be. Sand in places it shouldn't be, not to mention all the dieses in the sand." He said and once more you giggled. "Always ruining the moment," you said. "I never try to, maybe we could have that sex in the hotel room though, just to be safe." He said. "What about all the possible dieses in the hotel bed, huh?" You joked. "Way less than the ones on the beach." He said. You just shocked your head with a smile. "Maybe more than the ones on this bed," you said, really trying to joke. Spencer sighed, you didn't mean to bring the two of you back to reality but you did. You were faced with the horrible reality that you would lose your virginity on this possible dieses ridden bed covered in stains.

"How's your stomach?" Spencer asked, changing the subject. "I forgot about it.. was thinking about the beach, and the dog and the cat." You said. Spencer smiled at that. "Good, do you need some water?" He asked. "That would be nice," you said. Spencer reached over, grabbing the water you had left on the floor. He opened the bottle before placing a hand behind your head. He raised your head, helping you sip some water. You took a few sips before spencer pull the bottle away. "Better?" He asked and you nodded. He set the bottle down after closing it. "You haven't slept," you said and Spencer shook his head, "don't need to." He said. "That's a lie, you need sleep. You need all the energy you can get and you know that," you said. "I'll sleep when we leave." He said. "Spence, we don't know when that'll be. Please, just- just lay your head on my chest and sleep." You said. Spencer sighed, you were right, he needed sleep and he didn't know how long you two would be here. He reluctantly placed his head on your chest, it wasn't the same when you couldn't play with his hair. But then you started to sing, the lyrics flooding his brain. He could barely relax but it was enough to send him off to sleep.

You fell asleep too, you didn't mean to. You were just so tired, so worn out from struggling. You didn't know how long the two of you slept, nothing happened, the unsub never came it. It was a calm night, it didn't make sense but you decided not to think too much about it. Thinking made your head hurt. You woke up before Spencer, you went to play with his hair but the restraints stopped you. You wanted to cry again, realization had set back in as you remembered where you were. You clenched your first but stayed put, you didn't want to wake spencer. He needed rest, especially if he was going to somehow devise a plan to get the two of you out of there. He was your only hope, you trusted him though. You knew you would be okay.. maybe not now but eventually.

Spencer woke up shortly after you, looking up at you with a smile. He must've forgotten where he was as well. But you saw the realization set in. He was brought back to reality as he looked around the room. Nothing had changed which was good. But that still meant there was nothing to help him escape. Then the familiar buzzing came back. You dreaded that sound more than anything. The unsub walked in, gun in hand. He tossed scissors onto the ground. They were children's scissors, it could do damage but not enough to stop him from shooting. He thought maybe if he could get the scissors into his neck it would stop him but that wouldn't, nothing would stop a mad man from shooting the love of his life. He's learned that the hard way.

"The shirt," the unsub said, pointing the gun at the scissors then at you. Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, "please, I'll do anything if you just let her go." Spencer said. "No, the shirt." The unsub said. "We could make a deal, you- we- please," spencer didn't have a deal to make. He knew what the unsub wanted and he didn't know how to stop it. "Now!" The unsub yelled. Spencer gave in, you didn't cry out this time like you had before when you yelled. When spencer looked at you, he saw you broken, silently sobbing but not begging anymore. He wanted you to beg, he wanted to know you were still fighting, still willing to fight for your life, your purity. But you didn't, you were silent as you cried, eyes squeezing shut.

Spencer sat besides you, he used the scissors at the bottom of your shirt, slowly cutting the fabric. His hands trembled as he struggled to get through the material. He had seen this part of you before but not like this. Not when he was forced to. The unsub walked over to him, looking over his shoulder. "How pretty, beautiful untouched skin." He said. Spencer held the scissors so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Oh come on now," the gun was now to the back of Spencer's head. "You really don't wanna do that, you hurt me, I hurt you. Not enough to kill you, no, no. I would make you watch as i fucking tear her apart. You don't want that do you? You want it to be you, you want to be the one to take her sweet virginity. I know you do." He said, keeping the gun in place, the barrel placed against the back of his head.

"Not like This," spencer whispered. "Not like This? Are you sure about that? You think she's the only one I watch? I've seen you Dr. Spencer Reid. I've seen you, laying in bed, what dumbass keeps the blinds open?" He chuckled, "I watched as you jacked off to porn, to photos of her, she wasn't even nude in them. Scantily clad, but never nude. How perverted are you? I've seen the porn you watch, BDSM? I bet the shackles turn you on." The unsub said. Spencer was heartbroken. He didn't need this side of himself revealed, especially not to you. He would share those things, but not now. "They don't," spencer said. "Why not? You've watched girls suffer and enjoyed it. But not this?" The unsub said. "BDSM is based on consent. This isn't consensual." Spencer said. "I Can make it consensual." The unsub said. The gun was now pointed at you. "Beg," he said. "W-what? Beg for what?" You asked, trying to not let your voice crack but it wasn't working. "Beg him to fuck you, tell him you want it. Make it believable." The unsub said.

You looked at spencer, he couldn't even look at you. He was so ashamed of himself, so hurt and guilty. "P-please f-fuck me," you said, unconvincingly. "Make it believable!" The unsub yelled. There was that sob again, the one that wracked through your body and broke spencer. "P-please fuck me, please spencer, I need you, I want you. Please i want it," you cried, staring at spencer. He shook his head, "I can't, you don't want it. I can't," Spencer said, tears streaming down his face once more. "Fine, if you can't. Then i will!" The unsub shoved spencer out of the way.

You screamed, cried when you felt the unsubs hands on your body. It felt dirty, his hands were rough. You struggled in his grip on your sides. "Spencer, please, please!" You cried out. You couldn't see spencer through the tears in your eyes. But then you heard it. A shot fired and the body of the unsub fell limp on you. You screamed again, "help, help, help," you cried, squirming. You could feel the blood pouring out of the unsub and onto your body. Spencer quickly grabbed the unsubs limp body and moved him off of you. You were sobbing, shaking. Spencer kicked the gun away in case the unsub was able to get up. He grabbed the keys and quickly started to undo the shackles. Once your ankles and hands were free, you hugged spencer, hugged him so tightly you were sure he might not be able to breathe. "We need to get out of here, we need to find a phone," spencer said quickly, pulling back. You looked over at the body but spencer grabbed your face, "Don't look at him, look at me. We need to get out of here. Okay? Can you stand?" He asked. You weren't sure but spencer was already standing, pulling you up with him.

Your head started pounding again but you ignored it, leaning against Spencer's body as he guided you out of the room. He had to practically pull you up the stares. He opened the door, leading the two of you into a house. "I need to find a phone," Spencer said, leaving your side. You leaned back against the wall, falling down to the floor as you cried. You could still feel the unsubs hands on you, you could still see his lifeless body on the floor. The imagine would be engrained in your mind. The feeling of his hands would be burned into your brain. "The team is on there way," spencer said as he got down beside you. He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. "We're safe, we'll be safe soon. We're going home. We're gonna get that dog and that cat. We'll take that beach trip." He explained, keeping you close.

You didn't know how long it took for the team to get there. You were too busy shaking and crying in Spencer's arms, replaying the scene in your head over and over again. The door bust open making you flinch, you didn't scream, you didn't have it in you. "Spence, oh my god, spence," JJ said, running over to the two of you. "The ambulance will be here soon, okay?" She said. You couldn't open your eyes but you could hear the team moving through the house. You didn't want to open your eyes, you were so scared you'd see the body again. "Are you okay?" JJ asked. Spencer nodded then looked down at you, "She was hit in the head, im sure she has a concussion." Spencer said. "Is she bleeding?" JJ asked but spencer shook his head, "It's not her blood," he said. JJ was relieved. She loved Spencer and she loved you. Sure, spencer knew her first, but you felt closer to her than anyone else. "Ambulance is here!" Someone called out. "Okay, okay, we need to get you two checked out." JJ said.

Spencer started to move but you cried harder, clinging onto him. "No, no, no-" you cried. "It's okay, we're going to the ambulance. Okay, im staying with you." Spencer said. You reluctantly stood up with him. JJ was on your other side, helping you walk. You never realized how weak you were till now. Your feet drug against the ground, you felt limp, heavy. You hear hung as you walked. You were so tired. They helped you into the ambulance and laid you down. You clung onto Spencer's arm like a lifeline, afraid that if you let go, the unsub would be back, grabbing you, touching you.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," spencer said, grabbing your hand and holding it just as tightly as you were holding his. "I'll meet you two at the hospital," JJ said before leaving the car. Spencer just looked down at you, watching as the EMT's checked you out. You felt a hand on your stomach that wasn't Spencer's and you freaked out. "N-no! Please!" You squeezed your eyes shut. "D-don't touch her there!" Spencer said, shoving the EMTs hand away. "I was checking for bleeding," he said. "That's not her blood! Don't touch her there again!" Spencer was furious, these were the people that were supposed to keep us safe but yet they were making you relive the trauma. "I won't, i wont," The EMT said.

They hooked you up to IVs, checking you for a concussion which you indeed had. "She's dehydrated and in pain. We're giving her morphine. She'll fall asleep soon," The EMT said. Spencer nodded and his eyes never left you. You couldn't open your eyes, the lights were too bright and you were too tired to keep them open. "I'm here, I'm not leaving." Spencer said. You squeezed his hand to indicate you were listening. "Did you hear the doctor? You'll fall asleep soon but I'll be right here. I'm not leaving." You squeezed his hand again. Spencer knew the EMT wasn't a doctor but he wasn't about to make things more difficult for you to understand in your fragile state. You fell asleep soon after he told you what was happening.

Spencer was so tired, struggling to keep his eyes open as he watched you sleep. He refused to sleep, he couldn't bare having you wake up without him being awake as well. The doctors hooked him up to an IV after checking him out. He was fine, dehydrated but fine. He didn't have a concussion like you did, he wasn't stuck in shackles like you were. Sure, he had trauma but nothing as bad as you. He had been through the pain, the gun against the head, but you hadn't. This was all new to you and he knew you were about to go through hell when you woke up. You'd need years of therapy like he did. He worried you'd turn to drugs like he did but he would make sure you didn't. He do anything to help you cope but he wasn't going to let you do anything to hurt yourself.

You woke up after a while, eyes heavy as they opened. "Hey, hey, I'm here," he could see the way your hand moved frantically in search of his. He grabbed your hand and held it tightly. Your eyes finally opened and were met by his. "I wanna go home," was all you said. Spencer nodded, "we'll be home soon." Was all he said. You nodded, turning your head with a soft groan. You looked out the window, it was sunny out. You missed the sun. "I was thinking.. when we get home.. we should book that beach trip." He said. You didn't smile this time though, the beach trip no longer brought you comfort. That was ruined by the unsub. "Or, you know what.. maybe no a beach trip. Maybe somewhere more cozy, secluded. Maybe the mountains?" He said. You turned to face him, furrowing your brows. "I know, I don't have good memories with secluded cabins but i think you could change that. A nice cozy cabin, the rain hitting the windows as we cuddle up by a fire. Watching movies, listening to music, reading books. How does that sound?" He asked. A smile formed on your face, "that sounds perfect," you whispered. "Good, then it's a plan. We can set it up when we get home." He said. "And the dog?" You asked. "We'll look into adoption, same with the cat." He said. You smiled, tears brimming your eyes. "I love you," you said. "I love you too," he responded. He leaned in, giving you a soft kiss, things were hard but you knew with him, you could get through it.

[lostfirefly]

Trembling, crawling across my skin, feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine (Ch.1)

This fanfiction story is my present for my friend @yujo-nishimura, whose birthday is today! Sending hugs from Russia and wish you a lot of Crocolove!

Two things inspired me to write this fic: One of my fav songs from which the title is taken and Elena and Damon's dance (from The Vampire Diaries, S1). My 1st attempt to write the story about this character.

Description: Yujo is a young girl whom her father has betrothed to Mr. 3. She and her sister come to the ball, where she meets one of the members of the Cross Guild Corporation Sir Crocodile.

Warnings: No warnings

Words: 1307

Sir Crocodile x OC

The title is taken from "Dance with the Devil" by Breaking Benjamin.

English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)

Taglist: @gingernut1314

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

"I can't believe we're going to the castle ball tonight!" A blonde girl with curly hair and brown eyes was bouncing happily on the bed.

"Helena, calm down," another girl with green eyes sitting by the dressing table answered her in a calm voice. She brushed her brown hair, occasionally glancing in the mirror. 

"I'm so impatient. We're going to see your fiancé, Mr. 3 again, Yujo! He's so cute!" Helena jumped off the bed, spinning around the bedroom. Her light white dress in small florals fluttered beautifully in the air. 

"I don't know. He doesn't seem like a bad person. Writes nice letters and courts quite non-trivially.", Yujo put her hairbrush down on the table, slowly stood up and walked over to the closet. "Stop spinning around, Helena. Our parents are expecting us for breakfast."

The day passed in preparation for the trip to the ball. After breakfast, Helena and Yujo strolled around the large summer garden and talked about many things. Helena could hardly contain her excitement for the evening, dreaming that she would be able to meet a wealthy young man at the ball.

"And I also heard that either all the members from Cross Guild Corporation are expected to attend, or at least just one. They're some kind of tycoons. I bet they're all handsome and young."

"I've never heard of them." replied Yujo calmly, gently running her hands along the branches of the trees. 

Finally the evening came and Yujo and Helena walked down the steps of their house down to the front entrance. It was a warm summer evening, and a large white carriage drawn by two red horses was waiting for them at the gate.

"Oh, my God! Ball, ball, ball, ball!" Helena ran up the stairs faster than anyone else. 

"You're incorrigible!" Yujo laughed as she watched her sister hop into the carriage. She lifted the hem of her mauve colored chiffon dress and sat down carefully next to her sister.

"What if Mr. 3 isn't coming alone? What if he brings someone cute?"

"Who? Mr. 2 or 4?" Yujo put her arm around her sister's shoulder. "Our parents are already there. For all I know, our father was going to discuss some kind of deal with Mr. Jinbe. And mom probably wants to gossip with everyone. 

It was already dark when they arrived at the gates of a large castle made of gray stone. 

"Here we are, here we are!" Helena jumped out of the carriage and adjusted the hem of her mint-colored dress. "Yujo, where are you?" 

"Coming!", Yujo stepped out of the carriage and looked at her sister. "Let's hurry up or you're going to die of impatience. Just please behave yourself."

They walked into a huge spacious hall. There were tables covered with white and gold tablecloths all around. A large crystal chandelier adorned the ceiling. The ladies were dressed in their best clothes, and the men were all in suits. 

There were whispers, negotiations, and girlish chuckles coming from various directions. 

"Good evening, Yujo, Helena!" a skinny man with a funny hairstyle in the shape of the number three, walked up to Yujo and kissed her hand. "It's nice to see you here. I brought you both some wine.”

“Thank you so much!” they both said in unison. 

"Say, Mr. 3, is it true that the owners of Cross Guild are expected to come?" Helena giggled and sipped her wine a little at a time.

"I don't know about the others, they seemed to have some pressing business, but one is definitely coming." said Mr. 3, looking around the room. "And why are you inquiring, Ms. Helena?"

"No reason..." Helena blushed. 

"I'll leave you ladies alone for a moment," Mr. 3 bowed and stepped aside.

"I heard there's a swordsman there and he's available, and he's pretty cute," Helena poked Yujo lightly in the shoulder. 

Suddenly all voices were briefly silenced and heavy footsteps were heard.

"Ladies, let me introduce the member of the cross guild, Sir Crocodile." Mr. 3 turned back to the girls. "This is Yujo, my fiancée. And this is her little sister Elena."

A tall man with purple hair and dark eyes stood before them. He had a coat thrown over his shoulders and a hook hand.instead of one arm. Yujo was surprised, but tried not to show it.  

“Nice to meet you,” Crocodile kissed the girls’ hands. “So young and so beautiful.”

Helena turned red as a lobster hearing these words. She lightly rubbed her sister’s hand. 

“You see? You see? The hook!” Helena whispered to her sister. Yujo lightly stepped on her sister's foot, silencing her.

“Excuse me, ladies. I have to speak with one man and I’ll come back to you,” Crocodile said calmly. 

“Woooow! He’s so.. So handsome.” Helena was so amazed by Crocodile that she seemed to forget how to breathe. “There seems to be another one there, but I don’t remember who. He must be somewhat unremarkable, since I don’t remember him. I wish I could see the swordsman. Who’s better, that guy with the hook or the swordsman? What do you think?” 

“I have no idea. Aren’t there other people there or what? In this Cross Guild,” Yujo quietly asked her sister, watching Crocodile out of the corner of her eye.

Helena shrugged. “Don’t know. I’ve heard about these three.”

Yujo's father, a plump man of short stature with gray hair approached her with Mr. 3. They had a long discussion about the upcoming wedding ceremony, the guest list and the menu. Yujo found herself looking for Crocodile with her eyes the whole time. 

Finally the start of the ball was announced and Mr. 3 took Yujo's hand and led her to the center of the room. The girls had to stand in one line, the man in another. Yujo found herself in front of Crocodile. The music started. Everyone stepped towards each other, touching one palm to the palm of their partner's hand. Holding their palms side by side, they moved smoothly in a circle. After making a couple of circles, everyone put their second palm to the partner’s palm.

"Sorry you have to settle for a hook," Crocodile said dryly.

“That’s ok,” Yujo said and smiled. 

After making a couple more circles, everyone came closer to each other. The men put one hand on the girls' waists. Crocodile hugged Yujo with a hook. 

Finally the dance ended and everyone bowed to each other. At the same moment, Helena ran up to Yujo.

“God, the chemistry between you just killed me!”

"What?" Yujo asked. She felt as if her mind was clouded during the dance.

"I'm so jealous of you. I want it too! You should ask your Mr. 3 to introduce me to a swordsman!" Helena was almost jumping next to her sister.

“Will you calm down? We are at the ball after all. What if someone is looking at you now, and you are behaving inappropriately,” Yujo laughed, noticing how her sister pouted. Yujo looked around the hall and saw how Crocodile approached her father. They shook hands and started talking about something.

“Yujo, this is Mr. Magellan. He will marry us,” she was pulled out of her thoughts by Mr. 3, who approached her with a tall man, his face resembling a mandrill, with very sharp teeth and thick beard. 

“I have to admit, your bride is amazing, Mister 3. Can’t wait to perform your ceremony,” Magellan said and kissed Yujo’s hand. 

While the all-important potential guests were discussing the upcoming wedding, Yujo was catching more and more that she was thinking about Sir Crocodile. What was it? A charm after the dance? Or is it something else?

[nekooru]

₊ ☾⋆ angst dialogue prompts ⋆⁺₊⋆

a list of prompts i use to inspire my writing. i hope they're helpful for you !

more prompt lists: x

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

1. "you're allowed to fall apart sometimes, you know."

2. "what's the point in trying when i know i'll never be enough?"

3. "i wish your love wasn't conditional."

4. "when did things fall apart? i never noticed until it was done." / "that's exactly why things fell apart."

5. "you were my best friend. i wish i had been yours, too."

6. "i wasn't enough for you." / "no, you were too much."

7. "i thought i could learn to like it this way. i'm sorry i dragged this out."

8. "it's tiring, missing you when you're right here."

9. "you seemed to like me best when i was lying."

10. "don't pretend you missed me. i'm not as stupid as you clearly think i am."

11. "why are you drinking so much? what did you do?"

12. "please tell me i'm wrong. tell me i'm jumping to conclusions— that i'm misunderstanding. please, just say it..." / "..."

13. "you really love her, and she doesn't love you back...how ironic."

14. "you left the most bitter taste in my mouth. how could you bring it all up again when i'm trying to move on?"

15. "i fucked up. god, i fucked up."

16. "so that's it? we're just— over?"

17. "i wish i'd never met you. i wish this was a lesson i never had to learn."

18. "you're fucking insane."

19. "am i the reason you cry every night? be honest."

20. "well, how did you expect this to turn out? it's not my fault you've been in denial."

21. "i don't understand how you sleep at night, so blissfully uncaring of the pain you wreak."

22. "will you miss me at all?" / "very much so, unfortunately."

23. "are we doing the right thing? is there no other option?"

24. "i know when it's good, it's really good— but i don't think i can handle the lows anymore."

25. "when did you want to hurt me again? today? tomorrow? you know, so i can note it in my schedule."

26. "do you fantasize about a life without me?"

27. "you're not the same person i married." / "well, people change. you didn't get the memo?"

28. "i wish i could forget your phone number. and your face. and everything we ever did together."

29. "let's not get irrational here. we're going to talk sensibly, and take it outside— so i can punch you without breaking anything."

30. "you thought i cared for you? why? i made the opposite excruciatingly obvious."

31. "god, why do you have so much blood? i can put it back— don't cry, i can fix it. just don't leave me, please."

32. "you're so dramatic. is this really necessary?"

33. "i'll be better next time, i promise." / "next time? no. i won't be here to put the pieces of your life back together next time."

34. "i don't know how to ask for help."

35. "when was the last time you told me that you loved me?" / "..." / "hah...you can't remember, can you?"

36. "it's okay if you need time to heal. i'll still be here, waiting, for as long as it takes."

37. "i can't keep going when i'm the only one putting effort in. i'm done begging for what i deserve."

38. "i can't lose you. i won't lose you." / "what? after everything? you've already lost me."

39. "you left without saying goodbye. i finally moved on, and you expect me to let you pop back in just like that? no."

40. "i always said i'd die for you." / "idiot...i didn't believe you until now."

41. "i can't believe i thought you meant what you said."

42. "for what it's worth, i'll never give up on us."

43. "you keep going radio silent on me, and i can't handle that any more. wondering if you're dead in a ditch? or cheating on me? i don't deserve that."

44. "you are not your past, so stop acting like you are. that's not an excuse to keep hurting me and everyone around you."

45. "how many broken promises are we at now? you know, i'm starting to think you're doing it on purpose. is my face that pretty when i cry?"

46. "don't give me that look. no, what did you really expect?"

47. "he/she/they showed me more love than you ever did. isn't that sad? it makes me sad."

48. "oh, i see where it went wrong. you're a little confused, but you're almost there— you're supposed to break up with me, then fuck other people."

49. "don't even try to kiss me. get the fuck off me."

50. "don't worry, it's not my blood."

51. "i was stupid to think you would change for me. to think i was good enough to change for."

52. "quit crying. you're the one who hurt me, why are you making it about yourself?"

53. "no, i'm not just going to leave you here."

54. "i can't bear when you look at me like that. like i'm something from hell."

55. please— please, just...get out."

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

☾. please like/reblog if this post was helpful !

[slut4matty]

Old habits die screaming

Matty Healy and Taylor Swift have been rumored to have something going on for over a decade, when they finally both publicly announce their relationship, the shitstorm is huge. They break it off again shortly after. The only problem is: Taylor is still very much in love with Matty. What she doesn't know is that he feels the same.

"Sorry, I can't sleep", I texted my best friend Abigail. I had to let him go, for fuck's sake. I just can't stop thinking about him.

"Taylor, babe, it's 2 am and I have to be up early tomorrow. I can call you for 10 minutes, but I'm begging you, please let me sleep right after." Of course, she answered, she always does.

"No, it's alright, go back to sleep." I'm a grown woman, I can handle this.

"Abigail, I said, go back to sleep." "Taylor we've been best friend since forever, I'm always here for you, even at 2 am on a random Tuesday. Now tell me, what's going on? You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Yes, of course I am, I just can't stop thinking about him. "Yeah. I just feel like I'm going crazy right now. We've been on and off for ages, but this time it feels different. I don't think he's coming back, Abigail." I can't imagine a life without him anymore. I've loved him for 10 fucking years, and I'm ready to love him for at least 10 more years. "Babe, don't you think it's time to move on? He has hurt you and your reputation a million times already, and it fucking hurts seeing you this miserable." My reputation. Why is everyone, including myself, so obsessed with this? "I know okay? I know. It's not that easy, though. I feel like, it's my fault he ghosted me. Don't try to blame him now, please, I would've done the same in his situation. Did you read the horrible things they said about him online? I can't imagine how this must feel like." It really is my fault, though, isn't it? But what could I have done differently? Should I have called them out on their behavior? I probably should have. "I understand that this is as hard for you as it must be for him right now, but what can you do? Please don't text him, Taylor! You're only hurting yourself if you do.", Abigail's voice sounds desperate. She knows how hard it is to convince me of something. "I won't. Please go back to sleep now. I'm sorry I woke you up in the first place.," I said in a defeated voice. "No worries, I couldn't sleep anyway", I know she's lying, "I hope I was able to help you a little. Good night, Tay, I love you so much." "I love you more, good night.," I said and hung up.

What now? As much as I love Abigail, this conversation didn't help much.

Writing. I should start writing again. It's my job, of course, but it's also the only healthy coping mechanism I could think of right now. I'm wide wake anyway, so what else could I do right now. I have started writing a song called "I can fix him (No really I can)" I want to do something the 1975 inspired because that's what this is all about of course. Matty Healy. Lead singer of the famous British band "the 1975" but also my decade long situationship. We met years ago, and I was obsessed with their music. He dedicated their song "Fallingforyou" to me once, so I'll dedicate a song to him now. No, fuck this, I'll write a whole album.

"They shake their heads saying, "God help her", when I tell them he's my man."

I hate all of this. Him leaving me because some assholes couldn't keep their mouths shut about my love life. He didn't do anything! At least he actually cared about me and wanted to fight for us, unlike some other ex-boyfriends of mine... Yes, he has made mistakes, but so have I. Nobody is perfect. I don't understand why everyone thinks I am? Matty left because he thought it would be the best for me. He couldn't have been more wrong. I hadn't had a good sleep in weeks and when I finally drift off into sleep he's all I dream about. He's quite literally haunting me right now. I wonder if he feels the same about me. Was any of this real to him, or was he disappointed when he finally had me after all these years of yearning? I know I promised Abigail I wouldn't text him again, but he deserves to know the truth.

"Hey Matty, are you up?", I sighed as I hit send. He's probably asleep anyway.

"Who's this? And how did you get my number?" Shit, I forgot that I got a new number, since the other one was leaked last week.

"Sorry, it's Taylor. I've got a new number. I didn't want to disturb you." I already know this was a bad idea, but it's too late now anyway.

"Hey, you didn't. I was still up. Has anything happened? I'll call my management."

"No, don't worry I just wanted to tell you, that I'm sorry for everything that's happened lately. I should've stood up for you, when my "fans" started attacking you like this."

"Don't worry, Taylor, it's fine." God, he sounds so distant. I don't even recognize him like this.

"No, Matty it's not, and you don't deserve any of this. I don't know why I texted you in the first place, but I just wanted to let you know, that it was real to me." I'm so stupid oh my god. He probably doesn't even care about me anymore. Otherwise, he couldn't have just ghosted me out of the blue, could he?

"Of course it was real to me too! I loved you, I loved you so very much, but this is all too much right now. I'm not good for you or your reputation. You're an amazing woman, and I'm not going to stand between you or your success." I can't do this anymore. He loved me. Past tense. It's really over. He's not coming back. Never. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. What was I even thinking? Of course, it's over, the whole world knows. Why did I think, this was a good idea?

"Thank you, Matty. I love you very much as well. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we both wished they would. Sleep well and have a good night.", I sent with tears forming in my eyes, and shut my phone off for good. I drifted off into a deep, uncomfortable sleep, filled with nightmares.

[bansept]

The child of God (AU)

Part 2

It's funny because Dio is really just a psychotic, selfish, arrogant blood-sucking immortal with a god complex, daddy and anger issues as well as a womanizer who'd rather chop his arms off than use protection, yet I still love that character.

I love writing these, and it seems people like them, so there we go!

--

The villa Dio was hiding in was about an hour away from Naples, in a deserted part of the land. The only humans coming were occasional hikers, so he was certain nobody would come unwanted to explore an old building. Even if they would be, they would immediately be turned into cattle for the vampire by his few servants.

Giorno was asleep in his arms, holding onto his cape tightly. Dio allowed it, for now, knowing very well the child needed some sleep. Perhaps some comfort too, but it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Dio was hungry. All the blood that had been shed made his skin crawl in desire, and it was becoming increasingly hard to not feast on his own child. Only his strong-willed mind permitted him to give the boy to a servant without harm coming to him.

"He will stay with us. Treat him as my son. His life is worth more than all of yours."

The servant, an ugly enough woman turned vampire, took Giorno in her arms, amazed and confused at the same time, before bowing her head.

"Yes, of course."

Dio watched as she walked away, carefully nudging the child closer, and nursing him into a deep sleep. Giorno was where he was supposed to be : with his father, away from any harm this bitch might have inflicted on him. The tall, muscular vampire rolled his shoulder and neck, a groan slipping from his mouth. The memory he had of her was blurry, and not pleasing. He needed to think about something else, feed and relieve himself.

The doors opened to his bedroom, for lack of a better term, where his previous preys were waiting, lacking any clothes or decency. They were getting boring, he'd kill all 3 of them tonight.

Of course, the boy woke up in the morning, utterly lost. And hungry for human food. Which the villa did not have.

"Didn't you eat yesterday, back at your old place?" His father mumbled, tired of this already.

"I... did, but I'm hungry again... I'm sorry, sir."

The black-haired boy apologized, dropping his head in shame. Dio felt a ping of guilt. Giorno was a child, a human, of course he'd need to eat daily. It had been so long since he'd been taught table etiquette, the ways of humans.

"Don't apologize. I forgot humans needed food more often than I." Placing a hand on his son's head, Dio rubbed it. "You will go with Gloria."

Giorno frowned, and it bothered Dio.

"Humans? Aren't you one too?"

Dio chuckled deeply, rising back to his full height and staring at the boy with a smile that revealed his sharp teeth.

"Do I look human?"

Giorno gazed at him up and down, the huge stature of the man in front of him seemingly not phasing him a bit. His green eyes analyzed the claws resting against his father's hips, the sharp fangs smiling at him and his unnatural amber eyes. Dio was not human, that was obvious.

"No... Sir."

The clawed hand took the child's chin and raised it up, their eyes meeting.

"I am a vampire, yes. And by an incredible chance, you were born, my son. Do not call me 'sir'. I am your father. Be proud of yourself."

"But, I don't look like you..."

These few words hurt more than expected. No, Giorno didn't look a bit like Dio. Not a single shade like him. Because of Jonathan's body. Even in death, even when he didn't even exist anymore, this damn fool mocked him. His own child! Giorno was Dio's! Not a fool like Jonathan's!

The vampire's eyes shone brightly, deep, fluorescent sulfur shining down on Giorno, who stepped back in fear.

Fear. His boy was afraid of him. A disgusting monster. Inhumane. Just like Dio saw his own father. So different, so horrible, so eager for him to die. But he couldn't accept he would inspire such hatred from his son. He couldn't let it happen!

Dio slowly crunched back down, slowly, hands cupping Giorno's face.

"I... I would never hurt you, Giorno. Ever."

The child stood silently, unmoving, his emerald eyes shaking in fear, which soon stilled into calm waters. Maybe he believed him because of his young age. After all, he was an innocent boy. Maybe he was even smarter than he let out. In any case, Giorno cradled himself against Dio's chest, hiding in the black fabric of his clothes, little hands clutching onto the vest that covered the vampire.

For the first time in well over a hundred years, caring no longer felt like a weakness.

--

Part 1 // Part 3

[aroace-poly-show]

Ha llegado el tiempo más esperada del país! La hora de la miseria en la cueva del homosexual :D

I feel overly annoying and confident so I decided to make you an analysis on why Eight by Sleeping at Last would make a beautiful hw song. I always imagined it a good Nene com, but since it doesn't quite match the music box event, maybe it'll serve you as inspiration for another one? Also Google isn't showing me the lyrics so I'm going to write them myself with extra emotionality✨, sorry about that.

Putting the lines colour coded for the characters and blue if I have no idea.

I remember the minute

it was like a switch was flipped

I was just a kid

Nene upon realising she forgot her words, completely alone in a hall full of people staring at her.

Who grew up strong enough to pick this armor on

And suddenly it fit

A LOT OF THINGS. Could be Tsukasa giving into his role of a people pleaser to make Saki and everyone around him happier at his expense, could be Emu giving up her "childish" behaviour after the Wonder Stage was closed off, could be Rui accepting that he is a monster and coming to live as a loner.

And god that was so long ago, long ago, long ago...

Nene and Rui. Do I even need to clarify?

I was weak and perfectly naive

And I grew up too quick

All of them honestly. What happened with Hollow Wonderland and having to give up their childhood to soon?

Now you won't see all that I have to lose

And all I've lost in the fight to protect it

Emukasa, constantly giving up, constantly fighting, yet so completely lost in the dark.

I won't let you in, I swore never again

I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected

Ruinene but actually all of them more or less, especially the fear of rejection part.

I want to break these bones 'til they're better

I want to break them right and feel alive

Ruikasa coded, to me. Rui who needs to be fixed just like the robots he fixes. Tsukasa who'd run his blood dry if it meant Saki could go out of the hospital.

You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong

My healing needed more than time

EMU. EMU WHO NEVER GOT TIME TO GRIEVE HER GRANDPA, EMU WHO NEVER HAD ENOUGH TIME TO HEAL OVER THE WONDER STAGE AND NOW SHE DOES BUT IT'S STILL SO SO LONELY AND WEIRD FOR HER TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS.

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things

I see the familiar

Something about Nene writing songs that capture the feelings of all those who were never let themselves cry. Something about Emu recognising Mafuyu's smile as something horrid because she's seen it before. Something about Tsukasa's lyrics always sounding like bedtime lullabies that he never got to hear. Something about Rui seeing the loneliness both of them hoard, a dim light in their eyes too familiar to forget.

I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too

Now I'm a broken mirror

Could be anyone honestly this fits too well.

But I can't let you see all that I have to lose

All I've lost in the fight to protect it

I can't let you in, I swore never again

I can't afford to let myself be blindsided

All of them once again but can I just say HOW MUCH THE ATMOSPHERE CHANGES FROM THE FIRST ONE?? THEY'RE BEGINNING TO BE VULNERABLE YET THEY STILL RECOIL AT THE TOUCH, THEY DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE YET THEY FEAR PRESENCE MORE THAN ANYTHING. IS THIS ANYTHING. DOES ANYONE HEAR ME?

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart

And all I want is to trust you

COULD BE RUI BUT COULD ALSO BE EMUNENE. JUST IMAGINE A VERY SAD EMU IN SMILE OF A DREAMER, CLOSE TO CRYING AS SHE HIDES AWAY, AND NENE COMING IN TO CARE FOR HER. IMAGINE THE TRUST. IMAGINE IT'S FAULTS.

Show me how to lay my sword down

For long enough to let you through

TSUKASA WITH THE SWORD OF THE KNIGHT PROTECTING THOSE HE LOVES AT HIS OWN EXPENSE. RUI WITH THE SWORD HE WAS GIVING A BIRTH — HE WAS BORN A WEAPON AND A MONSTER. ONCE AGAIN: TRUST. THE KIND OF "PLEASE SHOOT ME AND HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS AS I DIE BECAUSE I CAN'T SAVE MYSELF AND I WON'T FORGIVE MYSELF IF I HURT YOU" TRUST. THE RUIKASA TRUST.

Here I am, pry me open

What do you want to know?

I'm just a kid

RUIEMU RUIEMU I CAN'T EXPLAIN BUT JUST— TWO KIDS WHO'S CHILDHOOD WAS RIPPED AWAY FOR BEING OSTRACIZED FOR SOMETHING THAT WASN'T THEIR FAULT.

Who grew up scared enough

To hold the door shut

And bury my innocence

NENEKASA. I know Tsukasa doesn't have anxiety nor anything close to it, but holding the door shut could be a way to show him staying at home while his parents spend their time with his dying sister. Alone in his room. Scared of monsters under his bed no one else will ever get to see because no one has walked into the house in more time he can measure.

But here's a map, here's a shovel

Here's my Achilles' heel

SOBBING HEAD IN HANDS STOMPING ON THE FLOOR BLOOD AND GUTS ALL OVER THE PLACE AS I SMASH MY SKULL INTO LITTLE PIECES THEY MAKE ME SO ILL

I'm all in, palms out

I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin

The found family. The found FAMILY DUDE I CAN'T

I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough

To let you IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

They have healed thanks to each other and now they're ready to take on the world.

I'LL SHAKE THE GROUND WITH AAAALL MY MIGHT

AND I WILL PULL MY WHOLE HEART UP TO THE SURFACE

NENE. NENE.

For the innocent, for the vulnerable

And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose.

For the innocent goes to Emu for having to bury her own self in the backyard with tears in her eyes and mud under her nails. The vulnerable goes to Rui because he never got to be vulnerable with anyone but the one's he Rui-ned (never making that pun again). Because he was a born monster and monster don't have any feelings, so what's the point? And the "front lines with a purpose" part goes to Tsukasa because... Wow he finally found why he likes theatre so much, didn't he?

And I'll give all I have:

I'll give my BLOOD, I'll give my SWEAT

AND AN OCEAN OF TEARS WILL SPILL FOR WHAT IS BROKEN

ALL OF THEM SINGING IT TOGETHER PLEASE. THEY HAVE SACRIFICED SO MUCH AND GOT SO LITTLE, NOW THEY'RE WILLING TO TRY AGAIN AND SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR EACH OTHER.

I'm shattered porcelain

Glued back together again

INVINCIBLE like we've never been

What's that thing about filling your cracks with gold? What's that thing about fireflies shining in the dark of night? Yeah that thing.

ksdhjffd HI HELLO WELCOME. THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD rotating this in my brain oh my god. i have some little notes on some lines that also mean a lot to me for other characters btw

“But I can't let you see all that I have to lose/ All I've lost in the fight to protect it “

^ this one feels also ruicore. as in protecting nene. nene is all he really has left to lose. yk.

“I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart/And all I want is to trust you/Show me how to lay my sword down/For long enough to let you through”

^ tsukasa fucking tenma who needs to be taught vulnerability is A Thing he’s allowed to do

“And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose.” <- i have nothing to add for this one it’s so tsukasa but i just need to let you know how much i LOVE THIS LINE. also your rui-ned pun was awful i hope you do it again /silly

anyway. ourdfghfsggfdhjjksagjhfgfdfhdf oh this is good. this is very very good. this is so rumdfjhgsjms,admfghafngfsd. i need to be put down thank you for sending this de tu cueva homosexual /silly

[renjunsbbg]

Original start. (Warmer Rainy Days)

Choose your own adventure (story after read more!)

DISCLAIMER/RULES

Welcome to the first choose your own adventure story of mine! In this series you can send an ask in reference to certain chapters in this series, I will then create a story based off of this first chapter and you can branch off from other people's stories. I can give your choices credit or you can submit it anonymously! I can write anything EXCEPT for smut (I'm just really bad at it but maybe someday) If you want a detailed y/n or reader (EXAMPLE: describing the physical features) That is fine! I will add a disclaimer there for people who don't exactly fit that trait! Be as creative as you want! here is an example if you guys are confused!

Anon: adding from the [insert title here] choice, I wonder what it would be like if y/n did [insert choice here] after!

I would then add on to a certain storyline that you guys have created and/or create my own!

If any writers out there take any inspiration from this idea, please tag me or use the tag #bbgsadventure Please reblog as well! I would love to see what you guys create! Are you ready then? Let's get started!

----------------------------------

Genre: fluff, soulmate au, anything else, you could even choose to create a different beginning with a different setting or character if you want! I write for svt, stray kids, ateez, enhypen, txt, and nct!

Of course you were walking in the rain. Again. You should bring an umbrella next time you attempt to go on a date, you think to yourself. You walk down the cold sidewalk, trying not to let your emotions get the best of you. You hear the little splashes of your feet into the tiny puddles.

"Jesus, It's really coming down." You say, looking up at the sky. Yikes, you really should have brought an umbrella, you think to yourself. You wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to get warmer, but ultimately just squeeze the water out of your clothes.

"If someone didn't cut this freaking string, I wouldn't even be here!" You say, in reference to the red string around your pinky. In a perfect world, everyone has a soulmate. Some people reject their soulmates though, cutting off their string or refusing to get near them. This is all exactly why you are here, walking in the rain, freezing your ass off.

You decide to start walking faster, your brain clouded by anger. You don't even notice where you're going until... BAM! You decide that you could die right there. You accidentally bump into a very tall man, really hard. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You put your hand up in shock, covering your mouth. "Are you okay?!?!?" You ask in a panicked tone.

"Hey! What-" The man turns around to look at you and scold you. Instead, he sees your cold shivering frame looking at him in shock. "Oh my god! You could get sick in this weather, what are you thinking?" It is now his turn to look at you in shock. You look up at his change in demeanor, confused. "Here," he places his umbrella over you both, making sure to completely cover you. "My name is..."

FIRST CHOICE

You can redo the entire setting or scenario (example: school au), or choose who he is. Remember, I write for svt, stray kids, ateez, enhypen, txt, and nct.

Paths (People):

Johnny (wip)

Different starts: (each start has a certain title that is used to navigate, this one is called "Warmer Rainy Days")

[holy-weak]

i distinctly remember you liking snarry. do you happen to be in possession of any fic recs you'd be willing to share? if not, i totally understand and hope you're having a nice day

Dear god do I love snarry. It's been my otp for well over a decade, despite the fact that I've never written a single word for it. (Maybe someday that will change? I hope so.)

Sometimes I feel like I've read everything there is to read, but eventually there always comes more. Suffice it to say, I've read a lot of snarry. My favorites, though, are pretty popular, and they've changed as I've aged. (Adolescent me was ready to die for SnapesFavorite to finish In This World For You.) Now, however, my top 5 in no particular order...

⚡@perverse-idyll , The White Road.

One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show.

I read this again very recently and everytime it tears me apart. I also very much enjoyed listening to perverse_idyll talk about this work on the @fanficmaverickpodcast . She speaks just as brilliantly as she writes, and having more insight into this treasure of a fic was so cool to hear.

⚡@liladiurne , Brighter Than Bright.

England, 1814. At twenty years old, Harry Weasley is a clever, if somewhat sheltered Omega who has hardly ever left the small town of Hogsmeade, where he grew up. He would not say that he is lonely, just that the days are too long. Now that most of his siblings have moved on, Harry occupies his time the best he can while dreaming of London high society. Nothing much interests him apart from his books and the letters he receives from his brothers, so when the news arrives that the Longbottom heir has returned to take ownership of his father’s estate, Harry doesn’t make much of it. After all, it couldn’t possibly affect him. Nor could the arrival of a certain Mr Snape, the rude and arrogant Alpha who deems Harry “barely tolerable.” No, none of that could possibly affect Harry’s life, could it?

Why yes, this is the Pride and Prejudice inspired a/b/o snarry fic you’ve all been secretly craving!

I'm not usually one for a/b/o fics, but I do love a good Pride & Prejudice AU, so it won me over immediately. Currently a WIP, but don't let that discourage you. LilaDiurne is a master and she'll surely deliver. (It does have a fun little spot of Harry/Lucius, which I'm almost sorry wasn't the main pairing for this fic!)

⚡mia_ugly's entire collection of work... but okay I want to talk about However I Fall.

In one timeline, Severus lives. In the other, he dies.

In both, he falls in love.

So. This fic was originally published in 2015 and I have been thinking of it ever since. It is, unfortunately, a WIP, but any shred of a sentence written by mia_ugly is worth experiencing at least a dozen times. I know the phrase is cliché, but she's genuinely one of those writers where I'd read her grocery list. I read her entire HP collection at least once a year. Like all of her work, However I Fall is devastating and gorgeous and so full of heart.... God I wish it was finished.

⚡@mia-ugly , Rapture.

Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.

It was a hard call between this one and Night Watch, which I love with a similar passion. This was the first fic I ever read of mia_ugly's and it's one of those works that reminds me how important and fantastic it is to be a writer. The skill with which she writes pulls emotions from me that any fiction rarely can. This is a favorite of so many snarry fans for a reason. (That very first scene hits me so hard every time. I have to brace myself for it. Please read Rapture.)

⚡@chickenpets', Pacify.

He would do his duty. He would save Draco, if he could. He would protect the students, if and when the school fell to the Deatheaters. And Potter. As far as he was concerned, Potter could have whatever he wanted, now. What was the point of trying to tell him no if he was going to be sacrificed on the pyre of the greater good? If Potter wanted to learn, Severus would be his teacher. If he wanted a master, then Severus would make him submit. And if he wanted a lover... well. Severus would love him. And that was it. Anything else was a waste of time. And there was so little of that.

This fic, although relatively new, has already become a classic for the ship. It's a WIP but there is so much to read already, it won't feel so painful to catch up. It has so much of what I enjoy - student/teacher, wartime, an absurdly powerful Harry, weird sex - that I think it'll be in my top 5 for the rest of time, come what may. Chickenpets, conveniently, was also interviewed on the Fanfic Maverick Podcast, and her comments on not only Pacify but the characters in general were so interesting to hear. I'll probably listen to it again soon. I hesitate to say this is THE snarry to read if you've never read any, but then again... I'm saying it.

All this being said, anon, please let me know which ones you decide to read and how you like them! 💓

[justporo]

I have only written a few half fics on my life. mostly personal stuff with my own OCs. But I gotta confess, your writing has had me wanting to just go HAM and try to write something with my druid and Astarion in the most wholesome /YOU are my best friend and I have and WILL kill again for you. never be afraid to tell me something is wrong and my arms are always open you big prick/ platonic friends/almost siblings. This is a weird sensation and idk how to wrangle my brain into an ACTUAL writing space, but I wanted to let you know you inspired me hard enough you lit the pilot light 🦊💚

Anon, this sounds AMAZING! Oh my god, I would die to read about Astarion having a friendship like this! Just two chaos gremlins wreaking havoc on the world and then each other. This gives chaotic siblings energy and I'm all here for it!

Please, please, go forth with it and WRITE because this sounds so fun and Astarion really deserves a friend like this. In German one would say "jemanden zum Pferde stehlen" which translates to "someone to steal horses with" meaning someone who'd do anything with and for you as a friend.

Don't try and worry too much about being in the right space or having to take certain steps to start writing: try to just start - simply stream of consciousness if need be, you can always edit later! (I know you didn't ask for advice but just putting it out there!)

Also, live feed of me reading this message because how is this all happening? This made my whole day, Anon, knowing I've motivated you:

All the love to you!

[duckdazed]

ANGST PROMPTS inspired by.

ⓘ here's a few things I wrote & thought would make good angst writing prompts. However, they can be interpreted any way you like! I took inspiration from a lot of places for this tbh. Please give credit if you use.

"but you keep your distance no matter what I do, maybe I should just let us be and move on."

"Did you even care that you were breaking my heart? did you even care that my trust has been broken? does it even bother you in the slightest that you've ruined me?"

"I hate you so much but I need you even more than that."

"I did everything right, so why don't you love me?"

"I really fucked it up this time, didn't I?"

"I can't bare to leave you when you look at me like that."

"If I had given you less of me, would you want me more?"

"Of course I am not okay!! You don't love me anymore, how the fuck am I supposed to be okay?"

"I can't believe I chose you."

"no we can't get through this. You've ruined my life with one mistake. I can never be okay again, I will never be free from this. cheating is the act of someone that hates you and you've just made your opinion of me perfectly clear."

"I just... I... I wish it was just.. okay? I just wish everything was okay. I don't need perfect but I'd really like if everything was just okay.. anything that is not this mess."

"This has to stop. you keep wishing them the best while they're wishing you'd drop dead, it's time to let go. you deserve so much more."

"It's not like I want to stop caring about you. it's just that you have hurt me so much that I've been shutting down. I can't force my heart to bleed for you when I'm covered in the wounds you gave me."

"I'll protect you, I swear it. I don't care about what happens to me but I swear I'll protect you."

"you have to. you have to be okay. I can face whatever happens if I just know that you'll be okay."

"I stood on the platform for an hour. I think I missed four trains. I was just stuck in that moment, thinking back to years ago. I thought I was over the worst of the grief but now I'm doubting that. I think it has grown into who I am. there's nothing like grieving the living."

"I can't believe I was alone with all eyes on me. I could've used someone to handle the technical aspects because I swear to God, I'll never be able to get over the guilt that comes with being the one that caused (character's most beloved's name) to die. we could've saved them. we could've tried one more time."

"the hardest part is pretending."

"I swear I'd rather carve my heart out with a butter knife right now. anything but this. what shell have I become?"

"it hurts. it just fucking hurts so much."

[crystalaris]

Moon knight Fan Fic Idea (3 is a Magic Number)

OC gets reincarnated as a cat

AN : this is basically the outline for idea that I wrote yesterday (finished too late to post) so there’s going to be lots of bad spelling and horrible grammar, so far warning

Also : if you want to use this as inspiration Please, Please, Please tell me. I’m very happy if someone wants to write it, I’m pretty sure my writing won’t do it Justice. All I ask it that you let me know, mostly cause I want to read it too and I’d be happy to bounce off ideas

This can be looked at as platonic or possible romance

P.P.S : I’ve seen other fan fics on tumbler that have requests, if you are interested in things happening or ideas I’d love to know. Especially family scenes in the beginning. My cats each have had there own quirk, it might liven things up to add more. No question or idea is stupid (annoying? Maybe but that’s retail) a simple thought or word may spark something completely random and awesome

———

OC wakes up as a cat in London

OC meets steven and goes to his home, meets Gus (one tap)

OC meets Konsu as he insults steven, it clicks where she's at and Konsu calls her young one (she's near a god, like a god in the making cause she was claimed by her grey cat in her last life and accepted by calling her and considering her as her mom)

OC meets Marc (two taps) while at stevens

OC meets Jake (three taps)

Befriends all three, fluff times to show

Spends time with Konsu too gets him to lighten up on the boys guilt tripping wise, Marc doesn't want to do something, Jake gets more jobs and body/ cat time

OC can tell boys apart by emotional smells

Each tap is a person, OC tries to leave hints for the future, like the taps, the three mugs each their own, but yhe messages are very subtle cause she's keeping the secret to, but she wants clues in the boys memories for when they 'die', she wants to change things but fears what to change, but she wants steven and Marc to get along. Marc is stubborn and won't ever tell Steven if he can help it... actually he'd never tell he'd take it to his grave. And Steven fears Marc since he's killed and stuff, he needs the whole story to start fresh with Marc so they can be together. To be fair she's only ever seen the last two episodes but read fan fiction semi filling in the blanks.

Interlude: OC goes to London sanctum and uses it to steal 2 sling rings and travel to the NY sanctum. Sets up a stage that has messages 'remember' and (something about dr strange to get his attention like thanking him for his times with Domonau to get his attention and curiosity sparked) he won't see those notes till after she demonstrates using the sling ring to cut off a light purple plums head as she stares at Strange be fore using her new sling ring to travel back home. Sending strange and wu into s frenzy (later strange will remember with the 1st battle with Thanoes stopping the snap especially since he does it again but to the stones and transports them forcefully away and the battle continues)

Interlude 2 later chs though: strange meets steven and the cat after he Amit and snap trouble and OC he's a 'mental' voice she can use now and explains also mentioning to this steven about the 'sinister' strange while addressing 'sinister' at the same time he could look for fan girls or a Christine that was like him since she knew a lot of fan fic writers wrote sinister a happy end he just needed to find those y/n or Christine AUs that left them alone and ask/ offer those a place or to be with him, just don't go too Yandere

OC travels with Marc to Caro (hides in his bag and 'disappears' from the x rays to travel with him.... It's not pleasant (toy story 2) it's her 1st bout of godly magic. She follows Marc and Konsu (he might have to magically allow her entrance [OC tells Konsu that he should get the ohpther gods in his debut with a bet and they'll owe him a lot of favors, word it so Amit shows up, they all owe him, but with no time limit and to do it before summoning Horrow] ) to the gods temple (she scouts around and familiarizes herself so she can free Konsu from stone later. Meets Besset who welcomes and explains how she got here to this dimension, basically 'adopted' / inagerated (added) Into the 'besset cat god' family and kind of special like Neko Yoki in Japan and she's young so she's got a 9 life special

OC asks for a one time entrance into the temple after this and not to take the bet Konsu issued since will come and horrow will spin a good tale. Besset chuckles and agrees with a purr and says welcome to the family, I'm glad she chose you and you accepted. OC also tells Besset to make sure their avatar is not in or near the temple since Horrow and crew will storm the fortress and kill the avatars trying to free Amit

Layla is in the picture and is shocked the cat is there

OC can fight as a cat, more like support, she distracts scratches and bites, can't really kill (has to pick and choose battles)

Follow canon with dialogues etc

Marc gets shot, so head space. Not sure if OC can drag out Marc of the water

Walk down memory lane for those two, some of stevens memories include the # taps and they don't get it, but they are like she's really cute and I'm glad you had her, yeah she made being alone bearable, etc still the three mug thing was weird though, that was probably Konsu's, he's lightened up too which was weird though birds hated cats

OC calls the teleporte (doesn't realize she did it herself) frees Konsu tells him in at the Very end Harrow needs to live, Konsu gets upset but OC explains. "Listen!" (Readers won't know until later: OC needs horrow alive to kill All of admits followers Through them Before he dies, though the pain of the goddesses believers vanishing through her own powers [and not her mouth] is a shock and would slowly kill them painfully and by not telling Marc/ Steven to not finish her off will prove he's not like Amit/ Horrow in a small way

Still in memory lane after Marc's memories and the weighing of hearts still not balanced fight breaks out

OC feels a shift, a dread. Desperately wishing to be with her boys. Ends up in the mind room with the shaking coffin. She tries to get him out ends up sifting part human part cat and gets him out, meet greet, name oh hi, hi and then a few shouts down the way both turn and OC goes, "shit. Jake you can hit/ kill me later." They run and he connects the dots and gets a dark look, but nods and continues

Fight ensues, weigh the 3rd heart, scales balance. Laugh quick introductions. OC is watching and a song plays in her mind (three is a magic number) not realizing the boys are hearing it too since their minds are being shared right now. Though they ignore it to deal with her. Marc is highly cautious and doesn't let her leave his sight, Steven is gaping and Jake walks up to her and punches her Heavily twice, drawing contemplation from Marc and a shout of 'oi!" From Steven.

OC is like relax steven, I deserve this. And Jake is like Hell yeah you do! You fucking knew! -swears in Spanish- then tugs her up and kisses her to thank her for getting him out of that coffin

Marc: you knew and it's a statement that draws silence from Steven who's watching shell shocked

OC: yeah really don't have time Marc! Horrow, Amit? Ring a bell.

Marc: explain

OC: fuck fuck fuck! Just wanted the two of you -points to Marc and Steven- to get along!

Marc scoffs

OC: not like you'd tell anyone about your past Marc glares harshly (if looks could kill ...)

Steven: she's got a point mate Marc glares at Steven (softer, more offended than hateful) Jakes just watching and observing

OC: and Steven, you're more on the sciencey side,you needed to 'see' to believe. This time everyone's face were blank while staring at her, sighing heavily while her hand pulled her face down,  look if it helps Konsu has no idea how I know, though he did call me 'young one'

Tawebet: -squeals loudly- oh my gosh! A young one how many millennia has it been?! Oh we need to celebrate! Oh this is precious! Oh my, you're one of besets newest kittens arn't you!? She coos

OC: -blushes harshly- Tebby no the time! -turns to the boys- we gotta get back I already got konshu out, so your body should heal nicely

Marc: not until

OC: look we don't have time for this! I swear on my godly title you going or what ever -Tawebet gasps in horror- that I'll tell you, All of you -she pointedly looks to all three of her boys- hell I'll even through Ol' Grandpa Caw Caw in there two, but let's go!

The three choke while Jake and Marc look at eachother and silently agree to call Konsu that

Steven: caw caw!?! You all him Caw Caw!???!

Before all three of them are pushed out.

Tawebet on OC talk a bit, the OC god portals her way out

Layla gets to be Tawebet temp avatar to fight and seal Amit. (Besset avatar on a mother mission elsewhere, maybe helping Tony stark 3rd movie since OC likes Tony and knows he goes through hell and would need comfort and Besset is a mother so comfort a child future friend? Sure maybe the avatar and Tony get together by accident, since they both go through a lot and avatar would feel better giving comfort and accepts Tony for Tony and doesn't nag him for company stuff or army stuff (sorry people and roads you Were good friends but Tony isn't your top priority, which he needs) and hey maybe if someone was by his side it'd prevent the Ultron fiasco )

So big fight against Horrow and crew, OC fights kitty style again, but ends up more protecting the citizens and kids. Crew laughs and goes oh what's a kitty kitty gonna do? And OC protecting 5 yr old is like Roar! Me! And gets shocked she roared before throwing that thought out, turned out kitty became Tiger/ lion and attacked shocking many only for OC to spit out the human and speak in English, Ugh! Blae blae humans nasty!! That fucker was a smoker! -some guy down the way is quickly scribbling notes that Tiger/ lions hate eating human smokers and it's now a repellent.- Jake would be laughing but he's concentrating on the fight, his lips twitch though and will tease the hell out of her for it later

Amit gets sealed, Marc and Steven are near shocked konshu doesn't demand Amit and Horrows death, Jake just glances at OC who winks and mouths later (godlings can see the reflections now so shut up)

Stuff happens, safe now so OC explains this is her second life and mentions this 'au' is a fantasy world be movie or book she doesn't know but that's how she knew, goes into this big teasing every body since every body has fans Marc, Steven, Jake, Layla ,konshu laughs at their expressions only to be told he's got plenty too, she's pretty sure Caw Caw has smut too, which shuts him up

Life goes on, reader decides if OC love is platonic or romantic

*Bonus scenes*

OC meets Tony stark with bessets avatar

OC chews out Thor in front of the avengers for not noticing something was wrong with Loki when he attacked Earth,(oh come ON DUFUS he LITERALLY has it IN. His. Fucking. Name Lo. Ki. Low-Key! InEnglish, Subtle dick for brains! If Loki Raelly wanted to take over he'd be Low-fucking-Key about it and the humans would have worshiped him for it cause they would have thought it was their idea from the fucking start!

OC scares Nick Fury as a cat, Tony gets it on camera, best birthday ever!

[stone-cold-style]

I don't believe in Fairy Tails, but I believe in you and me

Summary: this takes place immediately after the end of Duchess's diary, so if you haven't read it, I recommend doing so. Sparrow comforts the Duchess after her own failure makes the royal question her choices and even her role in Ever After High

Warnings: some swearing

Word count: 1360

@feline17ff Look! I'm writing fanfic too!

The Swan slammed the door behind her, throwing herself on the bed as warm tears full of rage ran down her face.

"Wh-what the hex?" A familiar voice exclaimed.

"Don't you say anything, don't you see that I'm devastated, you stupid bird?" Sparrow crossed his arms with a serious expression that didn't match him. It's not everyday that you see a crying Duchess invading your dorm in the middle of the day. 

"Yeah I have eyes, I just don't know what that has to do with going into my room out of nowhere. I could have been changing y'know, imagine if you saw me changing."

"I'm not gonna imagine that" she threw a pillow at him "Now can you please be a gentleman and ask me what's wrong?" Said, managing to sound even angrier. God, this probably was a mistake, she shouldn't have allowed Sparrow to see her in this vulnerable state. She shouldn't allow anyone, for that matter.

Sparrow tilted his head. On one hand, the Duchess was prone to temper tantrums and drama and this could very well be one of those. On the other hand… crying wasn't really her thing, especially not in front of others.

"What happened?" He asked then, sitting on the bed by her side. Satisfied, she sat up and cleaned some of her tears.

"Remember that presentation for The White Queen that I told you about?" The thief thought for a while.

"The one where you had to inspire people with your story?"

"Yes. I. I did this whole thing, I acted like a true white swan, I was kind and humble and everyone loved it and it was so nice" said, her voice full of melancholy.

"What's the problem, then?" He said, not understanding where she was getting at.

"Let me finish!" She exclaimed, but her eyes went to sadness again and she sighed.

"Apple, that stupid princess, did a ballet presentation right after mine and she knows that ballet is MY thing! She could've done absolutely anything but she just had to go with ballet it's like she was trying to be outshine me!"

"Well, White is a goody two shoes, I'm sure she didn't mean any harm"

"That's not the problem, Sparrow!" She said exasperated, turning to look him in the eyes. "It's that. It seems like it doesn't matter how much I try, I'm always forgotten, ignored, overshadowed! I'm not like them, I don't get a happily ever after, I don't get the guy and I definitely don't get the kingdom! All I get is a stupid legacy and my ballet, and now not even that I guess! I don't want to die just to be forgotten!" The words rushed from her mouth, as if they've been stuck in her throat for a long time, desperate to let out, to allow vulnerability and fear. "Hell, even a commoner like you gets a happily ever after in your tale, it's not fair" added, because she had to be at least a bit mean or else it wasn't the Duchess speaking. Sparrow, however, seemed to ignore that last part, too focused on looking for the right words.

"I know a thing or two about being forgotten" said, the softness in his tone a secret that would stay between the two, just like many others "But I won't forget you, Duch. It's hard to forget such a mean bitch" she hit him with a pillow again. And again.

"You're. Awful. At. Being. A. Gentleman" said, and with each word, she hit her friend again with the poor pillow. "And also an awful liar" continued as she calmed down, not looking him in the eyes "I know I'm just a forgettable, desperate swan for you, just like for everyone else"

"If that's what you see, then maybe you're trying to impress the wrong people" shrugged, laying down on the bed with his arms behind his head.

"What the hex is that supposed to mean?"

"You're trying to be remembered as a kind and nice princess and that's not really what you are. You're more of a…

"Black Swan" she concluded the phrase for him, looking down at her hands, feeling like crying again. "That's what Faybelle said. That I'm destined to be the Black Swan, the villain. Cruel and selfish, only able to get her prince by deceiving her way into romance" as the words left her mouth, realization hit and she looked down, a single tear tracing it's way down her face "That sounds exactly like me doesn't it?"

"I mean-"  Sparrow started, but she was quick to interrupt.

"I tried to be good, kind and humble and what did I get? Nothing!" she snapped, her voice full of uncertainty and frustration "So maybe they're right! Maybe I'll make a better villain!" She felt the urge to cover her mouth like uttering those words alone was an offense against good costumes, but instead simply allowed it to sink in. 

After a moment of tension, Sparrow opened a smile, excited and threw his hands in the air.

"Yeah! I could even make you a villain song! And you could dance to it!" 

"And I would finally have a happily ever after." Said, again with the feelings that those words where a crime, ignoring Sparrow's optimist perspective "But at what cost?" Added more to herself, to remember that as tempting as that sounded, she still had responsibilities.

"Hm… Basically none? Unless you care about befriending White and her crew" The Duchess's face immediately turned into a frown of disgust upon hearing those names, but she tried to remain composed.

"I- I don't know Sparrow. I just don't know. If I'm the Black Swan then people are right to hate me, and as much as I don't care for the people at this school, that would mean I'm destined to be despised. Then… I'll never have friends, I'll never be included, I-"

"That's stupid! You already have like a shiton of friends" he started to count on his hand.

"You have me, Faybelle, that one ballet girl-"

"I don't think Justine sees me as a friend, I would say rival at best"

"Doesn't matter, you also have… hm. Well, you don't have many friends but you have good friends" 

"You can't just self proclaim yourself as a good friend, Bird brain, that's not how this works"

"I'm trying to be nice here. Take the fucking compliment"

"Okay" she rolled her eyes, but with the smallest smile. He was right, like it or not, she didn't make much friends but she would do anything for the few ones that she had.

"Besides you can" he changed his voice to a poor imitation of Raven Queen "choose your own destiny" she gasped.

"Are you suggesting I become a Rebel?" Asked as if his words alone were a crime. 

"I am, but if that's too commoner for you, then let's just say no. I'm saying you still have time to decide if you want to be a white or a black swan. Or a bit of both, whatever"

"A villain and a hero…" she reflected on those words. As contradictory as it sounded it also didn't sound… wrong. "A bit like you then?"

"That's offensive" he exclaimed, a bit too loudly "I'm not a hero!" 

"Well you did save my mood" she playfully tilted his hat making it fall over his eyes "so it's a start" 

"Keep doing that and I'll tell everyone that I saw you crying" threatened as he fixed the green hat.

"Do that and I'm taking your guitar for a dip in the lake" joked with a mischievous smile getting back on her feet.

"You wouldn't!" Said, now sounding genuinely offended. 

"Try me, bird brain" replied, already on her way to the door "anyway, bye, I need to find some way to have my revenge for Apple, when I need you for the plan I'll let you know" and with those words she left, not before doing a gracious spin, showing that she really was in a good mood again. He rolled his eyes, but with a smile.

He was a good friend, the Duchess thought to herself. But it's not like she would ever say that out loud.

[tortoisesshells]

Let's get REAL ask: 🦋🌻💝🕯️

Please & thanks!

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

The typos I missed and the sudden and inevitable bolt of inspiration which would have clarified a foggily-written section.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

Comparison. I am envious of everyone, at all times - for turns of phrases, for their ability to plot, for the rapport they have with their readers, for their dialogue, for the way they can bring the same characters to life when I'm just mashing the dolls together - and getting stuck in the shame spiral makes me want to quit forever.

And sheer cussedness for the latter, I guess.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Nothing shocking's even happened to me, but I was pleasantly surprised to not be pelted with rotten produce over the absolutely ludicrous Mercy Street, but with VAMPIRES AU. Thank you for letting me entertain you. <3.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

Well, this is going to be mortifying.

There's a section in Customs and Duties where Nellie finally lets herself think about the day her late husband and youngest child died after barely allowing herself to admit they existed up to that point in the narrative, and it wasn't working. Pardon the joke, but it felt dead - it was supposed to be a BIG FUCKING THING, local emotionally locked-down widow finally starts moving on! - and I was staring at the words on the page like they were just half-decayed roadkill of uncertain species. So I just. Cannibalized my own "watching someone die" story because it just sits around in a box in my heart until I take it out occasionally to make a point to a therapist: my grandmother died suddenly one Mother's Day. She was hospitalized in the morning. They sent her to hospice right after noon. We sat watching her die by inches for hours, until she stopped breathing. My mom cried, and then, unbelievably, my grandmother breathed again and I fucking laughed. I know why I did - the strain, not being the most emotionally with it person, blah blah blah - but I laughed when my grandmother died. Because I hate this about myself, I gave it to Nellie: Samuel Treat stopped breathing, until he breathed one more time, and Nellie, to her eternal shame and grief, laughed.

No one's ever pointed out that exact part of the chapter as notable, and on the one hand it's a relief - on the other hand, I feel a little miffed - god knows who with, or why. I fucking laughed when my grandmother died right in front of me and I still don't know what to do about it, and the section in that chapter still feels like so much ripped-up roadkill in the shoulder. Not worth remarking on.

Let's Get REAL Fic Writer Asks!

[unilightwrites]

writeblrs intro - the show is starting

Hi there! I'm Helen, the mind behind Unilight Writes - a blog I wanted to get out to actually do something with my writing. I think I'll be treating this as a safe space to motivate me to get the things I imagine out of my head and onto paper. Or a screen I guess. Semantics. Now, the last time I used Tumblr was years back when I was very much an angsty teen - I feel kind of confused and out of place but I hope to find a curious community here! And maybe send bullshit asks my friends' way. But hush. ANYHOW, not to drone on any longer - I enjoy and plan to work on some things during my... uh... stay? Yeah, let's roll with stay.

I'd love to share ideas and concepts that rattle around my brain with you all! I'm always up for discussions and questions, maybe some practice in going Random Bullshit, Go!. I'm looking for inspiration, whether it be phrasing, art, other creative expression or simply reading through works of storytellers. Gods only know how exhaustive is creativity. Characters. Just, characters. Making them alive, making them lovable or deserving of hate, evoking emotion through the creation of their mind. WORLDBUILDING. Don't get me even started! drafting and coming up with scenarios and little details for the worlds inside our heads is simply one of the best things ever. The dreaded word - WIP. I intend to share or showcase bits and pieces of my work that are stuffed so deep inside my mental closets that it's even deeper than I was before coming out. Anyhow - ill be leaving it out for you lot, whether you want it or not. That's my hubris right there, the true purpose of Unilight Writes Some general things about me: - I've always wanted to write and bring forward the stories of my imagination - but I think that to be a common thing among us here. Why write if you have nothing to say, why write if you don't want to. I did some writing when I was younger but I gave it up to focus more on school work. Guess what! school is not in the picture for the time being so here I go, doing what I love once again! - I'm rekindling a lot of old flames here. I started reading for pleasure again (right now I'm going through Memoirs of Lady Isabella Trent, a great pick for anyone who enjoys dragons and women in science, but make it victorian!) and relearned how to entertain the imagination in my head. I'd die for a nice fantasy book but I'm not that big on sci-fi. Anything in fantasy -low, high, medium, medieval, modern, whatever. Unless we're talking SJM, I'm out the second there is harp music in my spicy scenes. - I'm pretty interested in random Wikipedia bullshit, researching nonsense topics, and drawing inspiration from folklore and cultures I have yet to fully experience. - Music-wise I'm bordering all subgenres of folk - indie, rock, alt. Anything is fair game, to be honest - I'm all for DnD. If you play it? Amazing. If you don't? Welcome to my table, young one, lets's go on an adventure. I love how expressive it is and the degree of creativity you can have around it. - I'm trying to learn cardistry. Honestly, I'm rather shit at it but I'm doing my best and it's absolutely exhilarating. Doing all those little card tricks and shuffles is a great way to actually let my mind wander and come back with solutions instead of panic. - I absolutely ADORE piercings and tattoos, they're the main part of my everyday aesthetic (plus, if you have a nice sketch of a duck in a burglar outfit that's stealing a pack of cigarettes, please please hit me up, I want that tattooed) - I use she/they pronouns and consider myself queer - putting a label has helped me a lot in the early parts of my self-actualization but now I'm just as confused as back then and I can't be bothered to do anything about it. Now, seeing as all three pre-play rings did their thing - lets have a seat and glance upon the absolute bastard of a child my brian came up with: "The Grand Circus" It's currently my one and only work in progress. It's very much still in the preliminary steps of development, but it's there! The novel will follow the life of Varadia - a person living in a world filled to the brim with magickal creatures taken from a fair share of different cultures and belief systems. Ever since being a wobbly child, she wanted to join the Grand Circus - a troupe of travelling artists that showcase all around the continent. And now after years of self-training, she will get the chance to audition. But as always, there are a lot of political intrigues and people being not quite who they seem to be. With a double layer to everything, she'll have to navigate a wide world she hasn't seen before, alone save for her newfound family - other performers

[anythingforourmoonysstuff]

Mayaneeeee! Hi, hello, hi, how are you?

So long since the last time I screamed around here. If I remember correctly you asked about my tag (hey, a tag ❤️!.. I'm still worthy of a tag 🤔?)?.. I call myself Luna so any version of that (Lu, Luna... someone used to use Lupina hahaha) is fine by me.

So, last time I was screaming about your participation in Into the fic of it... it took me so long to hear it, I'm sorry. I was attacked by work and the preparations of an international trip. I heard it little by little I pieces but hey, I TOOK NOTES 😂😂, so here are my notes (a summary actually hahaha).

1. Don't know exactly why but I wrote to recommend you my favorite teenage book but hey, past-me probably had a good idea but I don't remember anymore. It's called Ilse Janda, 14 oder Die Ilse ist weg (in Spanish is Por favor vuelve a casa -Please come back home-, don't know how it is in English). Perhaps I had this thought when you were talking about kids books... because this is a beautiful book for a teenager, written for teenagers (and from their perspective, which is not easy), with complex and painful topics but treated having said kids in mind. I love it so much, even now.

2. I think that JK wrote 3 books for children (first 3) and then she just wrote what she wanted, period. My mom has a fun theory: She read somewhere that JK wrote HP for his son and then she develops this theory in which JK started writing with love for his young child and then he grew and then she wrote the rest of the series in revenge lmao. According to her, JK's son was probably a teenage nightmare and that's why she started killing beloved characters 😂

3. That brings me to: YES YES I GET SO MAD EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE UNNECESSARY DEATHS. Why kill Colin?! And why Hedwing (I actually stoped reading the book there and only took it again months later)?!

4. Talking about JK wonderful (/derogatory) writing: To this day I don't understand how she totally took all the responsibility from the adult characters. I mean, Dumbledore formed not one...BUT TWO armies with child soldiers. And don't let me start talking about Snape and Dumbledore behavior with Draco in yea (he was sixteeeeeen). That's something I really like about fanfics: how they somehow questioned how those characters behave.

Aaaaaaand I'm going to leave it here for now because it's getting toooooo long (we're half way in my notes and in the podcast you haven't started talking about the main topic, oh god 😂).

Have a nice day! Sorry this took me so long! I really enjoyed hearing you lot 🤗

Hey, hi, hello!!!!! I have no idea why I’m just seeing this but anyway, here we are.

I’m doing ok uni is a bit of a struggle but I’m enjoying the modules so far :) how have you been??? And are you kidding me?? Of course you still get a tag <3

Ahhh I’m so glad you enjoyed the episode! I had so much fun taking part and met some incredible people thanks to it so it makes me so happy that it inspired some thoughts.

1. That book sounds so good I will definitely be checking it out! Thanks for the recommendation

2. Bahahahah your moms theory had me laughing so loud my friend came in from the other room to ask what was going on. But yeah, I think she definitely did not put any thought into the fact that not only the original kids who were reading it would read it. Like, I think her idea was that the characters and themes would grow up with the kids reading it which is a lovely idea in theory but that’s just not how it works. As soon as media is out there, it’s there for anyone to read and with it being a children’s book these themes needed to be handled with so much more care. I mean, this also applies to adult content but especially with kids who are extremely impressionable .

3. Yeah there were so many unnecessary deaths and I will also stand by the fact that having Sirius stay alive (and Remus for that matter) would have made for a much better and more in depth story. And I don’t just say that because I love them. There was just so much potential for growth that was thrown away

4. Oh completely she wrote obviously morally gray characters as good which is so problematic

Ahhh this was so fun! If you want I’d love to see more of your thoughts on it (you mentioned there were more notes) and once again I’m sorry I only now saw this . Have a great day!