#god so scared for this actually. i talk about how daunting it is to write canon n then go on to include two (2) dueling scenes in here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peggyrose19 · 4 years

Text

Drop Your Guard

✨I should be going to bed ✨ Buuuuut I’m not. Instead I’m writing Alex and Finn being brothers. Oh and Alex and Leo connecting briefly because Leo is an absolute saint and I adore him. As @im-oknutzy-trash put it: feelings are complicated. brothers are assholes. but sometimes they’re good.

Characters belong to the lovely @lumosinlove.

Alex was nervous. He wasn’t really sure why, this was Finn. Of all people, he was sure to understand. Understand how it felt to have two people instead of just one, to love them both equally and differently. But that knowledge didn’t stop his hands from shaking as he rang the doorbell of the cubs’ apartment.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Finn that answered the door but rather Leo, wearing a red apron and a soft smile.

“Hey Alex,” he greeted, holding the door open to let him in.

“Hey, Nut. Where’s Finn?”

Leo shook his head fondly. “He went to go pick Logan up at the airport. The idiot managed to forget you were coming over today until he was already there. They should be home in 20 minutes or so.”

Alex laughed a little — it was such a Finn thing to do — but it did nothing to quell the nerves in his stomach. Leo, head tilted curiously to the side, seemed to notice his discomfort.

“I’m just working on dinner now, d’you want to help?” He had headed behind the counter now and grabbed a knife and cutting board.

“I’ll only get in the way,” Alex said with a small but genuine smile. “I can’t cook to save my life, normally Ka-” he stopped himself suddenly, freezing as he realized what he was about to say. Leo just gave him a knowing smile and kept chopping. And Alex realized that he wanted to tell Leo. Something about him calmed Alex, made him feel safe. He could see why Finn loved him.

“Kasey normally cooks for me,” he finished awkwardly, “when I visit, at least.” Leo hummed encouragingly, eyes still focused on his hands. Alex rushed on, “Not very well, granted, but he’s better at it than I am. And he can grill really well.”

“So you and Kasey?” Leo asked softly, pausing briefly. “And Nat too I suppose.” Alex flushed a little.

“Yeah. It’s- yeah.”

“I’m happy for you,” Leo said simply.

And in those four small words, a weight in Alex’s chest eased. Suddenly telling people felt less daunting. He had always known the boys would take it well, but that of course was a much different feeling than actually telling them. Hearing Leo say it, seeing his warm smile, it was more than anything he could have asked for.

“Thank you.”

Keys jangled in the front door just then, voices sounding from the hallway, and Alex and Leo turned as Finn and Logan walked through the door.

“Hey guys,” Leo said, walking over to greet them, accepting a kiss from Logan that was a touch too long in Alex’s opinion. It turned worse when Finn kissed Leo too, as if he’d been gone for weeks not a few hours. Discreetly, he cleared his throat, and Finn pulled away.

“Oh yeah, Alex is here,” Leo offered. Finn grinned, albeit a bit sheepishly, and crossed to Alex’s side. Logan closed the door, watching bemusedly as the two embraced.

“What’re you doing here, man?” Finn asked when he pulled away, smiling at Alex. And suddenly the nerves were back.

Normally Alex would make a joke, evade the situation. They were all well-practiced in it, giving bland media answers that gave nothing away at all. But looking into Finn’s bright face, and remembering Leo’s kind words earlier, he couldn’t find it in himself to come up with a lie.

“I uh- I have some news,” he said carefully. Finn glanced at him curiously as he headed to the sink to wash his hands, Logan disappearing into the bedroom with his suitcase. Leo quietly picked his knife up again, watching them carefully.

Finn frowned. “What’s up? And why couldn’t we do this over the phone?”

“Uh well...” Alex swallowed hard, unsure how to say it. He’d rehearsed the words in his head over and over on the flight to Gryffindor but now, finally faced with the situation, they had all flown from his mind.

“I think your brother has something to tell you about why he’s here,” Leo butted in, smiling at Alex encouragingly. Finn looked between them, trying to gauge what exactly his boyfriend knew.

“Okay...”

“Imdatingkasey,” Alex blurted out before he could stop himself. Finn just stared at him.

“Huh?”

“I-” Alex froze, looking desperately to Leo. He couldn’t say it again, couldn’t manage the confused expression on his brother’s face, the questions that were sure to come next. Fuck. He shouldn’t have done this.

“Alex?” a quiet voice asked, and he looked up to see Leo standing before him, a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.” He took a deep breath, then another, and nodded. Leo pulled away and glanced at Finn, who had stepped closer, looking worried. He had gone quiet.

“You okay? You don’t have to tell me, you know.”

“I know. I know, but I want to. Um...okay. I uh, I’m dating Kasey. And Nat.”

Finn stared at him for a long moment, in which Alex swore his heart stopped beating altogether. Then his face split into a huge grin and Alex was being embraced again.

“Holy shit, Alex, that’s incredible,” he exclaimed, looking at him brightly. He pulled him to the couch, plopping down and looking at him expectantly. “How did this happen? Ahd since when? Is that why you’re here, to see them? And-”

“Woah, slow down,” Alex laughed, the tension leaving his body suddenly, leaving him feeling light and giddy. His hands were shaking. Out of the corner of his eye, he was Leo slip out of the room, giving him a smile before disappearing into the hallway. “One question at a time, Fish.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry. “How long?”

“Um, a while,” Alex admitted. “Kind of. Y’know how Kase and I used to be on the Rangers together?”

Finn’s eyes widened. “Since then? Fuck, that was like ten years ago.”

Alex huffed a laugh. His heart hurt. “Yeah.” His brother’s gaze softened.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because I was scared,” he answered honestly. “You know what the League is like, better than most.”

“Yeah.” Finn looked so sad for a moment Alex nearly wanted to cry.

“It’s better now,” he added in an attempt to lighten the mood. He couldn’t stand seeing Finn sad. “Back then... we weren’t like, ‘a thing’ then. But I- I’ve been in love with Kase since the moment we met. I just never thought I could actually have him.”

“I know the feeling,” Finn laughed a little. Logan, Alex thought.

“We didn’t talk for a while after he left,” Alex admitted, looking down. “I mean we did, but not... not the way we used to. I missed him.”

Alex hadn’t talked about it with anyone except himself for so long that finally admitting it out loud felt strange. But Finn stayed silent for once, watching him with a careful, sympathetic expression. He got it. More than anyone else, he understood it. And there was a solace there, lying in that familiar face, so similar to his own, that he somehow had never expected.

“What about Natalie?” Finn asked eventually, seeming to recognize the line they were toeing. Alex brightened at the question.

“I met Nat at the playoff party,” he recalled, smiling. They had talked before, briefly, had known of each other and what they each meant to Kasey. “She pulled me in instantly.”

“She’ll do that to you,” Finn agreed.

“And... I dunno exactly how it happened. A lot of talking, a lot of feelings. Kase isn’t one to beat around the bush, despite those goalie eyes-” Finn snorted- “But, it’s us, y’know?”

“Yeah.”

They were quiet for a long moment, mulling over their own thoughts, comfortable in the silence.

Finn broke it finally. “I’m glad you told me.”

“So am I.” And Alex realized he was. It was more than just a weight off his chest, it was an understanding, the feeling of knowing he wasn’t alone. He said, “Thanks for listening.” Finn smiled.

“Of course. I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me sooner.”

“Finn...”

But Finn was already shaking his head. “I wasn’t there when you needed me, Alex, and for that I am sorry. And you weren’t there when I needed you.” The words stung, but Finn continued before Alex could protest, “God knows we could’ve used each other then. But it’s over, okay? It’s in the past. So you don’t need to feel guilty about it. We’re here now, and you just told me all that, and it’s all in the past. Okay?”

Alex sniffed, fighting back tears. “Okay.” Finn smiled. “When did you become the older one exactly?”

Finn rolled his eyes fondly. “Blame Leo. He’s the mature one in this relationship.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it.”

“Fuck off,” Finn laughed, knocking Alex with his elbow, and when Alex knocked him back, it felt like nothing had ever happened, like they were kids again, arguing on the couch over what to watch. But there was a closeness now, a trust that hadn’t been there before. And as his brother squirmed away from his grasp, Alex knew he couldn’t ask for a better family.

#alex o'hara #finn o'hara #o'hara brothers #alex comes out #leo is a supportive bby #emotional talks #they're so precious #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast #surprise! it's another song title #cause i'm shit at titling otherwise

204 notes · View notes

themadlostgirl · 4 years

Text

When It’s Cold (6)

*We stan open communication, patience, and informed, enthusiastic consent when it comes to acts of sex baby! That being said I have gotten a lot more comfortable and better at writing smut (imho) so compared to smut I have written in the past this is more detailed and thus a lot raunchier sounding than anything you may have read by me before. Just wanted to put that out there before we go diving into this. Also, if I have not somehow made this clear enough already: SMUTTY CHAPTER AHEAD!*

~~~

Felix woke up a little stiff but otherwise happy. You were still asleep next to him. At some point in the night you both had turned over so he was spooning you. You fit into him like a puzzle piece. He really could get used to waking up like this.

You shifted in your sleep your back nestling further against his body. Felix froze as he realized that there was another part of him that had woken up this morning. Of all the days he could wake up with morning wood it had to choose the morning he was sleeping next to you and your ass was pressed right up against him. Okay. No matter. He can just move back so it isn’t touching you.

Felix slid his hips back from you but your body followed when he tried to pull away. He couldn’t push you away either since you were holding his free arm to your chest. Now that he was thinking about it Felix could feel exactly what it was his trapped hand was touching. So it seemed he was in a very awkward position. Your ass pressed against his erect dick and refusing to put space between it and his hand resting over one of your breasts where you kept it held. He really didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment that would come if you were to wake up while you two were like this.

He could just push you away and make a run for it. No. You didn’t deserve to be woken up like that. He started thinking of things to get his erection to go down but it persisted. It really wasn’t helped by the fact that you kept wiggling your butt against it either. If you kept squirming around it was never gonna go away.

“Hmm,” Your voice whined and pressed against him harder. You kept making small little noises as you squirmed and it suddenly dawned on Felix what was happening. You were having a dirty dream and were using the feeling of his erection between your thighs to get yourself off.

Oh this was conflicting.

He could either stay in place and let you ride this out, pun intended, and hope that you didn’t wake up or if you did wake up he could pretend to still be asleep and you could deal with any embarrassment on your own. There was also the chance that he could wake you up and you two could be mature about this situation and laugh it off in mutual embarrassment. Hell, it might even evolve into actual sex if he played his cards right. Then again he could still just run away and you two would never need to speak of this morning ever again.

He needed to make a decision soon because you were only getting more eager in your motions. Your breath was coming harder and he knew you would wake yourself up soon if he didn’t do anything. Damn it. Why did this have to feel so good?

“Hey,” Felix whispered, “Wake up. Time to get up, little girl.”

“Huh?” Your eyes were bleary but open, “Ugh…” You pressed into him again, still not fully awake. “Felix?”

“Right here,” He said, “You need to wake up now. You’re kinda...um...you are kinda rubbing…” Felix couldn’t get the words out. His face felt red hot.

“Rubbing?” You squinted over your shoulder at him. He sighed and glanced down at the lower half of your bodies. You looked down too and with a yelp leapt away from him. “Oh my god! Sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

“It’s okay,” Felix mumbled. He grabbed a pillow from the armchair to cover his lap. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You had your face hidden in your hands. Felix took a deep breath. You were so beautiful in the morning. Your bedhead and rumpled pajamas was the softest thing he had ever seen. He really wished he could have enjoyed it longer.

“Did I…” You whispered, your face still pointed away from him, “Did I cause it to be like that?” You pointed lamely to the pillow on his lap.

Felix gulped and clutched the pillow tighter. This line of questioning wasn’t helping to get rid of it.

“No,” Felix said, “Not in the way you’re thinking. It was already like that when I woke up you just kept it like that.”

“Oh god!” You groaned. You grabbed one of the blankets from the floor and pulled it over your head to hide. “This is mortifying.”

“Is it?” Felix said before he could think better of it. “Is it so bad to think that you may desire me the same way I desire you?”

“You what?” One of your eyes peeped out from your blanket cocoon.

“You heard what I said.” Felix took a deep breath. “I like you. I find you attractive. Why does it have to be embarrassing? It’s like you said: it’s just us here. Can we be honest without shame?”

“This is a lot to process first thing in the morning.” You were dodging. Felix didn’t blame you. He was trying to have a conversation you just weren’t ready for. Even though he knew you desired him you just weren’t ready to admit it to him yet. It hurt but he wouldn’t push you.

“It is rather early,” Felix sighed in defeat, “I’m gonna go get a shower.”

~~~

Felix walked past me and went up the stairs to his bedroom. My face was still uncomfortably hot as I replayed the morning’s events back in my mind. I had been having a pleasant dream about Felix. Instead of the hot and heavy dreams I was used to it was softer. Still sexual but it wasn’t dirty. In my dream he was making love to me. Sweet words whispered in my ear as he kissed me. When I woke up I almost didn’t realize I wasn’t dreaming anymore until Felix told me I was rubbing my ass up against him.

I had never felt more embarrassed! It also didn’t help that I was still turned on to the point I couldn’t even look at him lest I crawl back into his lap. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. What must he have been thinking when he woke up to me doing that?

But that wasn’t the entire story, was it? Felix had said he desired me. He wasn’t mortified by the experience like I was. He had been so sweet and honest about the entire situation while I cowered under my blanket. Why am I trying to avoid this? It’s all I’ve been thinking about for weeks! He practically told me I’d be more than welcome in his bed and I turned him down. What is wrong with me?!

I need to fix this.

I shot to my feet and ran upstairs. I paced outside of Felix’s room for a few minutes before swallowing back my nerves and going in. Felix wasn’t in the bedroom. I heard the sound of running water and remembered that he said he was gonna get a shower.

This felt eerily familiar.

I lingered in the doorway debating if I should leave and come back in a few minutes when he was finished or stay and wait. As I was trying to think of what to do the water turned off and Felix emerged from the bathroom.

It didn’t seem like he had noticed I was there as he strolled across the room over to his dresser.

Keep my eyes up, do not look down at his naked torso. Everything will be fine.

“Uh Felix?”

“Geez!” Felix jumped. The towel around his hips started to slip and he grabbed at it to keep it from falling. “Damn it woman! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What are you doing skulking in my door?”

“Sorry, I just…” I entered the room and let the door fall shut behind me. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“And this couldn’t wait until after I got clothes on?”

“Yeah. I didn’t think that through. I just wanted to say that I didn’t feel right about the way things were left downstairs. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about liking you. Probably because I haven’t ever liked anyone like I like you before. I certainly have never really wanted anyone like I want you and that scares me too. But I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want you to think that I’m pushing you away because I’m ashamed of what I feel. I do find you attractive and I do want more out of this relationship but it’s daunting. I don’t know where I would even start.”

“Darling,” Felix sighed, he cupped my face in his large hands and bent down to kiss me. “We start right here. We start by admitting what we want. We can take it as slow or as fast as you want to. We have more than enough time to explore together. Okay?”

“Okay.” I stood on my toes and pulled him down for another kiss. It was quickly turning heated and Felix pushed me away. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’m still only wearing a towel.” He said, “And you are turning into a tent if you get my meaning.”

“Oh…” I blushed. I gazed into his pale slate blue eyes. “Anything I can help with?”

Felix’s eyes went wide. “You can’t just say stuff like that to me.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I might end up taking you up on it.”

“That’s exactly why I said it though.”

“You know what you’re getting yourself into, little girl?”

“I hope so.” I threaded my fingers with his, “And for your information I am not a little girl. Not in height and certainly not in age.”

“Are you sure about that, small fry?” Felix chuckled, “Looking kinda short from up here.”

“This is a perfectly normal height!” I protested, “You’re just freakishly tall! You know what? Forget it. I rescind my offer. Have fun of taking care of that on your own.”

“I’m sorry,” Felix tugged on my hand keeping me close, “I can’t help but tease you. Come back.”

He ran a free hand through my hair. His gaze searching mine. “I want you to. God knows how much I want you to but I don’t want you to do it if it isn’t what you really want. Don’t go thinking you have to jump into the deep end to keep me happy. I’ll still want you regardless.”

“I’m not behaving irrationally, Felix.” I told him, “I want to do this and, y’know, maybe in exchange you can...help me…?”

“Brave girl,” Felix smirked before kissing me again. He was leaning back against the dresser. His hands wandered from my hips up into my hair and down again. I felt something poke against my stomach and tried not to squeak like was my knee jerk reaction.

“Still want to do this?” Felix whispered. His voice was a lot deeper than before. It sent a pleasant tingle down my spine.

“Yes please.”

Felix took a deep breath and nodded. With trembling hands I untucked the towel from his hips and it fell to the floor. I was staring directly into Felix’s chest. I wasn’t sure what to do now that I had him naked. I had many fantasies but trying to re-enact them had me trembling with anticipation and fears of inadequacy.

“Need me to help guide you?” Felix spoke softly.

I nodded dumbly. Felix tilted my chin up to kiss me. His other hand rested over my dominant hand and pressed it to his chest. Slowly he moved it down lower, all the while his mouth was still on mine. I felt wiry hairs touch my hand and I flinched.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Felix whispered against my lips, “You’re alright, darling. Nothing to be scared of here. Just keep your eyes on me.”

I took in a deep breath and relaxed once more. With his hand still over mine he guided it along his cock. Letting me get a feel for what it felt like to touch it. His breathing was calculated and slow, trying to retain a sense of composure as he moved my hand over him and palmed the tip. He hissed through clenched teeth and kissed me again a bit more desperately.

“Are you good to keep going?” He asked.

“Yes.” My own voice felt faraway.

Felix moved my hand back down to the base and wrapped my fingers along the shaft. With his hand still around mine he moved it up and down his cock in sure slow movements. His wrist flicked and twisted slightly as we went. He was breathing hard now and I could tell he was trying not to moan or buck into my hand.

“Felix,” I kissed at his shoulder, “You can enjoy yourself. Don’t be so worried about scaring me off. Let me take care of you.”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”

I bit back a smile as I removed his hand from around mine so it was just me pleasuring him. I watched his face closely seeing what he liked and how to respond. It was so strange seeing this boy who was usually so stoic and rigid release his inhibitions and react how he wanted to in my grasp. I felt a surge of power as I started pumping him faster, the sound of his moans getting louder. Half mumbled words as his hips bucked against my fist. He kept one hand gripped on the lip of the dresser while the other held tightly to me.

“Fuck,” he gasped, his eyes were screwed shut, a small bead of perspiration gathered on his brow, “Fuck, I--” He broke off into wanton moans again.

“It’s alright, Felix. I want you to.” I trailed my lips along his chest, “Please Felix.”

He roared my name and bucked harder into my hand. Warm spurts of milky cum coating my hand in the process.

Felix panted as he rode out the tail end of his orgasm. Our eyes met and he pulled me to him crushing his lips to mine. “So I did a good job?” I chuckled against his lips.

“You were perfect, darling.” He collected his towel from the ground and wiped the cum from my hand. “Sorry about the mess. Looks like I got a bit on your pants too.”

“They needed washed anyway.” I shrugged.

“It’s your turn now.” He said. My eyes widened and he snorted. “Did you forget about that part?”

“A little. Got caught up in the moment with you.” I blushed harder. Felix brought me to him again for a sweet lingering kiss. “But I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too,” He grinned, “Chuck your pants in my hamper and sit on the bed for me.”

“Okay.” I turned to go.

“Oh, put this in there too while you’re over there.” Felix threw his towel at me. I caught it and tossed it in the bathroom hamper before stripping out of my pajama pants and tossing them in as well. I sat at the edge of Felix’s bed wearing only my panties and a sleep shirt.

Felix had pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt while I was waiting. My whole body was growing more jittery with every step he took towards me. It was a good kind of jittery though. My body thrummed with anticipation.

He sat down next to me. His hands caressed my face and left small kisses along my nose and cheeks. “I guided you, now you need to guide me.” He said, “Show me what to do. What you like.”

“Right,” I shook off my nerves. Shouldn’t be too hard, I just need him to do what I usually do when I’m alone. I can start slow. No need to rush.

I leaned closer and kissed him. As we kissed I moved his hand down to the hem of my shirt and slid it under so he was touching my bare skin. My skin tingled in the wake of his touch. His other hand followed as I encouraged him to touch my breasts. I moaned into his mouth.

“Soft,” Felix murmured, “I knew you’d be soft.”

“And your hands are rough.” I laughed slightly. Felix grimaced and started to withdraw before I pressed him back to me. “It’s okay. I kinda like it.”

I let him go so he could rub and play with my breasts. My shirt was hiked up and I quickly took it off so it was out of the way. He groaned next to me and after a nod from me he started peppering kisses along my chest. He took one of my nipples into his mouth and sucked on it.

The ache between my legs was getting stronger. “Felix,” I took one of his hands and started leading it lower down my body. “I need you to touch me now.”

“With pleasure, darling.” We laid down against the bed. “Show me what to do.”

“First, I like to play with my clit until I feel ready.” His hand slid beneath the band of my panties and I whined when he touched my clit. He rubbed it in sure slow swipes, circling it with care as I moaned next to him.

“You’re really wet,” He said. “Do I make you feel that good, little girl?”

“Yes,” I gasped as he sped up slightly. I clung onto him tighter, my face buried in his shoulder. “Want to make me feel even better?”

“Of course,”

“Slide one finger inside me,” I instructed. Felix listened and I let out a moan that was half yelp.

“Did I hurt you?” Felix asked, concerned.

“No, it’s just um,” I shuddered around him, “Your fingers are longer than mine so you can get deeper than I normally can. It feels really good.”

“Good, now what would like me to do?”

I instructed him on taking me slowly. Curling his finger and letting my cunt stretch before he added another. I was starting to lose coherency as he began pumping his fingers in and out of me. Curling and scissoring my wet, aching cunt until I couldn’t form words anymore. He kissed my neck, whispered words of praise in my ear as my pleasure was driven higher and higher. I risked a glance down and nearly came at the sight of Felix’s hand in between my legs. It was so strange to see something I pictured so clearly in my mind actually happening.

“Felix,” I moaned, grasping onto him like my sanity depended on it. “Feels good...almost--almost--need more!”

“What do you need? Tell me how to please you.”

“Clit. Rub my clit.” I begged.

His other hand went down and started rapidly swiping and circling my clit. I shouted as stars danced before my eyes. I was gonna cum any second now. “Felix! Fuck Felix, I’m gonna--I--”

“Do it,” His voice was dripping with desperation, “Please darling, I want you to cum. I want to know you feel good. Please cum for me darling.”

“Felix!” I dug my fingernails into his shoulders as my orgasm washed over me. My pussy clenching tight over his fingers which were still coaxing me through my orgasm to draw it out as long as possible. I rocked against him, my shouts turning into whimpers as tiny post orgasmic shockwaves rolled through my body.

“I got you,” Felix whispered, “I got you. You were so wonderful for me, darling. I’m glad I could make you feel good.”

“Not just good,” I mumbled happily, “Fucking fantastic is what it felt like.”

“Happy to hear it.” He popped the fingers that had just been in my pussy into his mouth licking the juices off. He licked his lips with a smile. “I knew you would taste good too.”

“I cannot believe you just did that.” I hid my face in his chest, “Why did you do that in front of me?!”

“Because as splendid as this morning has been I have not had anything to eat yet today and I figured I had a good enough snack right here.”

“Felix!” My face felt like it was on fire.

“Stop hiding, if you can’t take it when I lick you off my fingers how are you going to handle when I have my head between your legs drinking it up straight from the source?”

“You what?!” I snapped my head up so fast I hit him in the jaw. “Ow, sorry,”

“Okay, that might have been a little too intense for an after handjob pillow talk. I concede that.” Felix rubbed his jaw, “How about we cool things down for the rest of the day? You go clean yourself up, get a shower, put on something comfy. I’ll go make us something to eat and we can watch whatever movie you want. Sound good?”

I rolled on top of him and kissed him. I didn’t care if I could taste myself on his tongue (It was kinda hot if I was honest with myself). I just wanted to express these deep feelings stirring inside that I couldn’t adequately express. If this wasn’t love then I don’t know what else it could possibly be.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Felix chuckled, “Now can you get off me? As much as I would love to keep you here in my bed for the rest of the day I did promise you food and a movie.”

“If I must,” I rolled off him and collected my shirt from the ground. With a final look at Felix I smiled and scampered out of the room back to my own. I think this has to be the best morning I’ve ever had.

---

(Previous) (Next)

#now if you will excuse me i am gonna go stare at a wall #felix imagine #felix x reader #ouat felix #ouat #neverland #peter pan ouat #roommate au #smut

92 notes · View notes

violetwolfraven · 4 years

Note

Hi uhh i request some ikeshot:D with “well , hello sleeping beauty . you fell asleep on me ..” and “i’m sorry to wake you up , but i really need someone to talk to .” take your time btw. I know how hard it is to write when mental illness and school is constantly kicking your butt. Love you lots bro!!

Ily too Rai! Let’s do some soft canon era bois, taking place a little over a year after the strike. I haven’t written anything from Hotshot’s perspective yet, so I’ll try that for this!

Tw: non-graphic stab wound, teenagers mentioning sex the way teenagers do, implied period-typical homophobia.

...

Hotshot wasn’t the kind of idealistic kid to believe in magic, or fairytales. He knew ‘happily ever after’ didn’t exist in real life and pretending these things ever really happened was just setting yourself up for disappointment.

But looking at the boy dozing on his chest might make him think twice.

And that scared the hell out of him.

Ike had entered his life by mistake and stayed there out of spite, and Hotshot didn’t by any means want him gone, but it did scare him how much that Manhattan boy had changed things.

Before, he’d always had this anger burning at his insides, always ready to jump out and hurt someone. More than once, it had hurt someone. Hotshot had hurt a lot of people. Spot had even had to stop him from killing someone once, and even after the lecture on how killing was never worth it if you can avoid it, never, it hadn’t really sunk in how the other Brooklyn kids were prone to violence, too, but not as much as him.

He’d never known how to explain that if he didn’t hurt other people, the hurt inside him never stopped even for a second. Fights were the only kind of distraction that worked, and consciously Hotshot had known how that mentality wasn’t sustainable, but been too dependent on it to stop.

But Ike... that annoying little shit was a different kind of fight, in some ways. He was probably the only one besides Spot that wasn’t even a little scared of Hotshot, and never had been. He liked to start stupid little arguments for no reason and altogether give Hotshot grief, but he’d back off if a topic was too sensitive. Talking to him relieved pressure, somehow. Gave that burning feeling somewhere to escape, but without hurting anyone.

Hotshot ended up in fights a lot less lately. The Littles were less wary about sneaking up on him. In general, his relationships with his friends were... better might be the wrong word, because things weren’t bad before, but the others were definitely less careful around him now, no longer seeming afraid he’d soak them for something stupid.

The fact that all that was because of Ike, it was... a little daunting. There was something magic about that. There was something magic about him.

It had hit Hotshot like a steam engine to the chest months ago that he was pretty sure he was in love with this boy, but he felt it in moments like this. The kind of softness of just taking advantage of an empty Lodging House to just share warmth and be close to one another.

The kind of softness that Hotshot had never experienced before, because he’d never really experienced love before.

It scared him a little that he didn’t know what love felt like, but he’d been calling what he felt for Ike ‘love’ in his head because it felt like what the other kids said love was like on the rare occasion they talked about that stuff.

He and Ike had never talked about it, and...

And Hotshot felt a sudden jolt of panic at how they probably should, because of why they even were in the Lodging House alone together today.

It was because Brooklyn had (of course) gotten in a territory dispute, and they’d had a rumble over it last night, and even though the deal had been that neither side would use weapons, Hotshot had somehow gotten stabbed in the side. No one would fess up, so neither side was sure by who.

The wound wasn’t especially deep, but it had bled a lot. It was bad enough that Spot had made Joey watch all the Littles to make sure none of them came in and saw it. If he didn’t know any better, Hotshot could have sworn their fearless leader was actually, legitimately scared for him.

He was fine now, they were pretty sure. Or, fine enough that he wasn’t bleeding anymore and it only hurt a little if he didn’t move too much.

But according to Vince’s grim statement earlier, all the older kids had thought he was going to die that night.

Which was why Spot had sent someone over to get Ike, knowing Hotshot would listen and actually stay in bed if it was him asking.

They were in the king’s private room, though Hotshot wasn’t sure how Spot had known the privacy might be a safe bet. He and Ike definitely hung out a lot, kind of flirted, cuddled sometimes, and whenever the Manhattan boy slept over, he slept in Hotshot’s bed, but they’d never actually done anything. They’d never had a talk about what they were, let alone Hotshot having told Spot about whatever it was.

That was what was making him so anxious now; the thought that they’d never talked about it. It had taken him until now to process the fact that he’d almost died last night, and it was really freaking him out that that had almost happened before...

Well, before a lot of things. Hotshot was only 15. There was shit he wanted to do. But the one he was thinking about right now was how he really needed to ask Ike exactly what their relationship was.

He felt warm and looked peaceful, where he was curled up against Hotshot’s left side to avoid the stab wound in his right. His head on his chest, making sure he stayed down and didn’t try to go selling.

As much as it pained him to disturb the peace on Ike’s face, Hotshot shook him awake.

He stirred immediately, and that sleepy expression caused a bloom of warmth in Hotshot’s heart.

“What? What happened?”

“Well, hello, sleeping beauty,” he joked, unable to stop himself from smiling, “You fell asleep on me. Welcome back to the land of the conscious.”

“Right,” Ike propped himself up with his elbow, “We was talkin’ ‘bout... what were we talkin’ ‘bout again? How long was I out?”

“A while.”

“Shit. You weren’t too bored without me to talk to, were ya?”

“Nah, I was fine,” Hotshot assured him, “I can survive a couple hours without ya, believe it or not.”

Ike chuckled, “Coulda fooled me.”

His voice wasn’t quite light as his fingers brushed along the bandage over Hotshot’s stab wound.

Now or never. He needed to get up the courage to bring this up right now or he’d end up waiting God knew how long.

“I’m sorry to wake you up,” Hotshot blurted, “But I really need someone to talk to. I need to talk to you. You specifically.”

Ike looked slightly worried, but nodded, “Okay, what is it?”

Do it now. Just ask him. Stop stalling.

“What am I to you?” he asked cautiously, “Like, as in with you and me. What are we?”

Ike clearly hadn’t been expecting that question, because he froze up for a second before trying to fake nonchalance.

He shrugged, “What do you wanna be?”

This was the kind of fight Hotshot wasn’t good at. The kind where both of them were dancing around what they actually wanted to say, fighting only not to be hurt.

Screw it. He just needed to say it.

“Lovers?” he internally groaned at how uncertain it sounded, “Sweethearts. Dammit—whatever word ya wanna use, I... I like you a lot, Ike. I wanna be with you.”

“Yeah... it feels weird, callin’ it either of those things,” Ike admitted, “But I want... that, too. The whole bein’ together thing. You.”

He was blushing, and he looked like something out of a fairytale in the sunlight from the window above them.

He was definitely making Hotshot think twice about not believing in magic.

“Uh, good,” he stammered, realizing he should probably stop staring and say something, “Good to know we want the same thing. I just asked cause we ain’t ever talked ‘bout what we are before and I figured it was better to know. ‘Specially since I think Spot thinks we’re fucking.”

Ike laughed nervously, “I think Race thinks that, too. He gives me weird looks when we run into each other over here. But yeah, you’re right. It’s better to know.”

He laid back down, putting his head back on Hotshot’s chest.

Hotshot kind of hoped he couldn’t hear how it made his heart race.

“Finch says he got his name cause he shot a live finch out of his slingshot once. I don’t believe him.”

Hotshot laughed aloud, and tried not to wince too much at how his stab wound twinged.

“I heard ‘bout that. It’s actually true. Spot keeps tabs on all the newsies worth knowin’ ‘bout, and Finch is one of the few of you Manhattan boys that might actually be a threat in a fight.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lyin’.”

“Not about Spot knowin’ shit ‘bout everybody, but there’s no way Finch shot a fuckin’ bird out of his slingshot.”

“I’m tellin’ ya he did.”

“Did not.”

Hotshot grinned. This kind of petty, pointless argument to pass the time was part of why he was pretty sure he loved this boy.

#newsies #ikeshot #hotshot newsies #ike newsies #spot conlon #brooklyn newsies #fluff #canon era #stab wound tw #injury tw #sex mention tw #period-typical homophobia tw #violet’s writing

41 notes · View notes

redhawtriot · 5 years

Text

Operation Unvirgin (Bakugou x Reader)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

I had this idea the other day that Bakugou probably would be super celibate. Like he is very goal oriented and doesn't like to attach himself to others, so I feel like he wouldn't have ever bothered with girls or even beat his meat or anything (the shit’s fucking perverted okay?! how could any decent person touch themselves?)

But he hears that Deku is boutta get laid and he gets pissed bc WHAT? That loser is gonna beat him in something?! So he goes on a mission to loose his virginity before Deku.

So I wrote the NSFW piece of this and it was UTTER GARBAGE, but I know that many of you guys are writers so think of this as a very informal request: Anyone can write the second half of this and tag me and I will repost it (except no non-con plz). It doesn’t matter how long it is.

If this completely flops I will ... sigh... post my shitty NSFW next week... (But please spare me and yourselves from that outcome)

HnM💕

Bakugou never could understand all the hype surrounding the opposite sex.

The blond man would wrack his brain as he tried to remember the exact moment where his fellow peers stopped looking at girls like the enemy and started looking at them like walking deities, mindlessly floating behind them as if an invisible scent enchanted their spirits. Sometimes he felt like a lone soldier in sustaining self-respect.

In his isolated state, he only watched in disgust as freaks like Mineta and Kaminari drooled over women and reduced themselves into warm bodied zombies in the presence of a vagina. Pathetic.

He would never in a million years let a woman rule over him. He had seen how his hag of a mother treated his father, and he would rather stick his face in a vat of acid than have his soul belong to someone like that.

His stupid mom always told him that he would probably meet someone in high school that would change his mind, but there he was, the night after graduation, victorious in his pursuit of staying the fuck away from crazy broads like her.

In fact, this ridiculous graduation party that Kirishima had dragged him to was probably the last time he would see most of these extras, since he doubted many of them would make it past being D-listers or side-kicks—and that was him being generous.

The colorful beams of light took turns fading in and out of the dark room as the heavy bass of multiple speakers pounded into his body, sending a flurry of vibrations in his abdomen. Although, Bakugou would never admit this out loud, he actually enjoyed this scenery. The stomping of the music reminded him a lot of his own quirk and the lights weren’t completely hideous.

Yeah, as long as no one at this shitty party tried to talk to him or get on his nerves he would be just fine—

“Baku-brooooo!”

God Dammit.

“Hey, dude!” Kaminari threw a sloppy arm over the angrier blond’s shoulders as Kirshima, Deku and Mina all followed behind him through the dense party crowd. Now, if this had been two years ago, Kaminari just might have found himself short an appendage through an explosive altercation; however, throughout his high school career, Bakugou found that simply ignoring the idiots was usually enough to deter them from trying to converse with him.

So Bakugou swallowed the increasing rage that was bubbling in his throat and simply scoffed instead, swatting the man’s arm away from him and turning his back on him and his incoming entourage. Kaminari only laughed in response, “C’mon bro we are officially graduates! Ditch the bad boy act and loosen up a little—we are men now! Just ask Midoriya!” he slyly suggested.

The sound of his rival’s name piqued his interest, yet the stubborn man still refused to give the short-circuited idiot the satisfaction of knowing such a thing, so he continued to glare away from him as Izuku spoke up, “N-no it’s nothing really… Uraraka and I have just been together for a while. Honestly, I don’t even know if I will go for it. I don’t wanna be a jerk or anything bringing it up to her! Forget I said anything at all, actually!” the young man frantically waved his hands as his face became obviously red even in the dimly lit atmosphere.

Mina snickered as her hands found their way to her hips “The shy guy act is cute and all Midoriya, but every girl wants confidence in bed! I am sure she wouldn’t mind if the two of you at least talked about it,” she bumped the green haired boy with her hips as Bakugo furrowed his eyebrows even deeper.

Kirishima was the next to speak up “GO for it, man! There worst that can happen is that she’ll say no!” he heavily patted the concerned Izuku’s back, “But the manliest thing for you to do is respect her boundaries,” he quickly added in.

The green haired man shook his head at the ground, “I should have just kept my big mouth shut...”

“She won’t say no,” Mina sang with a mischievous expression drawn across her face.

The three boys turned their attention to her with confused glances before Kaminari spoke up, “C’mon Mina! You know something don’t you? Spill it!” he begged.

Mina looked as if she were contemplating for only a moment before he gestured for the men to come closer, “Don’t tell her I told you, but…” she trailed off for dramatic effect, “She was totally gonna try to seduce you tonight, Midoriya!!” She winked. Bakugou’s ears perked up at this statement,

“WhAT?” both him and Izuku cried out.

Kaminari and Kirishima laughed at the blond’s outburst, “So you were listening after all, huh Bakugou?” the latter questioned.

“What do you think of the situation, buddy?” Kaminari leaned into the explosive man with a smirk.

“I’m not your damn buddy,” Bakugou bumped the electrical dumbass away from him, “I think you idiot perverts need to stop worrying about whose panties you’re gonna fail getting into and worry about not being able to keep food on your fucking plates when your careers flop!” he barked as the four blinked in surprise at his sudden outburst.

Kaminari saw this as the perfect opportunity to mess with him, “Bakugou are you… a virgin?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, PIKACHU,” the man under interrogation screeched.

“He totally is!” Kaminari threw his hands up in feign shock, causing Mina to giggle.

Izuku awkwardly shifted on the balls of his feet as Kiri loudly spoke up, “Hey guys, it’s not manly to butt into another man’s personal life like that.”

Bakugou ignored his defender and continued screaming at dumb and dumber through the loud music, “S-Shut the hell up!” his face was dusted in a light shade of red as he spoke. He tried to shake these foreign feelings of embarrassment away. So fucking what if he was a virgin?

“Deku still ain’t shit! Who fucking cares if he’s gonna get his dick dirty?! I could fuck any of these bimbos!” he loudly called out, causing a few girls crowding the area to throw him wary glances before they cautiously moved away. The group of friends noticed this and Kamari and Mina failed miserably at stifling their laughs at the scene.

“It’s ‘make love to’, dude…” Kirishima quietly correct his angry friend in a feeble attempt to save his future endeavors with women.

“NO. FUCK! I said what I meant dammit!” he yelled as he once again fought away the redness on his face, “I could fuck any one of these bitches within an inch of their life!” he furiously vowed.

“Any, huh?” Mina questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s what I fucking said, Raccoon eyes!”

“Then how about…” the yellow irises scanned the dense room for a moment before a smile split her face. She happily pointed a finger, “that one!”

Bakugou followed her finger through the crowd and found you on the other side of the room. The fading lights intermittently illuminated your features, but he knew exactly who you were— Y/N L/N. The only other person at U.A. known for being just as proud as himself if not more. Also known for having a slough of men on your heels at any given moment, but not giving a single one of them any significant time of day.

Mina snickered at Bakugou’s sudden silence, causing him to throw a glare at her. He fought of any creeping feeling of disheartened as he began a march toward your dancing figure, “Fucking easy” he roughly hyped himself up before approaching you.

“Hey,” he barked roughly. It didn’t really come off as much of a greeting and had more of a threatening tone to it, but in your shocked state you could only offer a half-hearted smile at the daunting man before returning to the conversation that you were having with your friends.

However, after a while, you noticed that your friends were distracted as their scared eyes kept darting behind you. He was still there wasn’t he?

You rolled your eyes before throwing a glare in his direction, “Do you fucking want something, dickhead?” you snapped.

“I SHOULD—” he began to threaten but he clamped his mouth shut and bottled up his feelings of rage from being disrespected before he continued, “You…” he barked, an unfamiliar feeling of uncertainty gripping at his chest, “I want you,” he said sternly. He had heard Kaminari say some stupid shit like this before and it worked. If it worked for an idiot like him then surely—

Bakugou’s thoughts were cut off as you simply threw your head back in a fit of laughter before turning your back to him to converse with your friends again, “Anyway,” you loudly began before beginning to talk to you friends again.

Bakugou’s face contorted in aghast uncertainty before he looked back to his classmates. Kaminari was giving him a thumbs down, Mina was giggling like crazy, Kirishima was beaming him a reassuring smile and Deku was no where to be found. Fuck! he probably went off to find Uraraka!

The thought set a competitive fire in his chest as he looked back toward you, “Let’s--“ he stopped himself to re-frame his approach. He thought of the words of encouragement that shitty hair might give him in this moment,

‘Treat her like a queen!’ ‘Ladies love a man with a code! Don’t tell her what to do, ask her!’

“Do... you want to dance,” he forced himself to ask through slightly gritted teeth. This was utterly humiliating.

“You think you can handle it?” you joked through a small smirk before eyeing him up and down. The man only averted his glare from you in response as he scowled at a nearby wall. You gave a small laugh at the display. It was almost childish how he was acting.

You suddenly noticed the red tint that was adorning his cheeks, sending a wave of excitement throughout your body. A sudden predacious urge clutched your abdomen at the sight.

“Okay,” you smiled after wetting your lips. You leaned into him before grabbing his forearm and leading him deep into the hot pool of dancing bodies. He stiffly followed after you.

If he thinks he can handle it then you’ll just have to show him how wrong he is...

#bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #mha #my hero fanfic #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki Bakugou #bnha smut #mha smut #reader input

855 notes · View notes

thorne93 · 4 years

Text

History Repeats (Part 8)

Prompt: Life’s hard, right? Well throw in a not so great job, a broken heart, and chasing a pipe dream in LA. But could someone come along to make all the bad shit disappear? Or is he just another heartbreak waiting around the bend?

Warnings: language, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, angst/heartbreak, adult themes (??)

Word Count: 1874

Note: Aesthetic made by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo because she’s absolutely amazing Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo . Brainstorming from @carryonmyswansong

**Song Inspiration: Wanna Be by Betty Who

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Living with Hayden proved to be nowhere near as daunting and scary as you thought it would be. At first, yes, there were a few bumps in the road. The laundry situation got a little confusing, the chores got a little mixed around, the groceries were nearly a catastrophe, but after a few weeks, the two of you finally had everything all sorted out.

Once the small discrepancies were sorted, he was a delight to have. Nothing changed about your friendship, in fact, it made it a little easier. Rather than figuring out whose place you would head to to hang out, or worrying about someone needing to get back somewhere in time for bed...None of that existed any more. You went to work, and reconvened at night when you got home.

Sometimes he was still up, waiting for you with a leftover plate of dinner ready so you didn’t have to cook. Other times, he kept a plate set aside with a note telling you how exhausted he was and he was in bed. To you, the notes were sweet. A lot of guys would just text something like “going to bed. Dinner on the counter. Night” or “didn’t make dinner. You may need to grab something.” But not Hayden, he always put thought into it.

His notes usually consisted of a wishful note on hoping your day went nicely, a comment or two on his own day, and a description of what he made for dinner. One night you came home to a bottle of wine and a piece of chocolate cake he set aside for you, after a particularly bad shift. The gesture had made your heart melt. Another night, you’d mentioned craving cheese so he made extra cheesy garlic bread with spaghetti. Another night, he surprised you with a few chocolate truffles and a can of coke since your head hurt, along with the aspirin already set out. If you weren’t careful, he was going to make you gain weight.

But you didn’t care. Hayden was so caring and sweet and attentive. You tried to repay the favor on days you were off by making him meals, surprising him with his favorite candy, or queuing up the next episode of whatever show you two were currently in the middle of. If he wasn’t feeling up for any of that, you’d freshen his sheets and room.

And if you two weren’t trying to outdo each other on the level of kindness, you would sit and play cards or a board game. Sometimes you worked on your writing and he worked on lines. Sometimes you even helped each other. You read lines with him and he helped you come up with smoother choruses.

Life couldn’t get much better for you. Jason was pretty much completely gone from your mind, your work seemed to be getting better and if it wasn’t, you always had Hayden to light it up for you. Hayden’s rent was already helping and he seemed happy to have a space to call his own.

Now, you were out getting groceries for the week and Hayden was just getting off work. He sent you a text to ask for a couple more things and you made your way to getting them. You grabbed the last bit of stuff that he wanted, the stuff on your list, you checked out, and made your way home.

When you got there, you were surprised by what you found.

“Hey, there’s...a little person here,” you noted as you got in the door with some of the bags of groceries.

You stepped inside and you saw Hayden crouched on the floor, talking to a two or three year old blonde little girl, playing with her hands and smiling at her.

“Oh hey, you’re home!” Hayden noted as he looked up at you and grinned widely, taking your breath away as it always did. “And your arms are full of groceries. Let me help.”

“Oh, no, you’re fine. Keep playing.”

He just rolled his eyes and walked past you out to the car to finish bringing in the bags. You sat them down and went over to the little girl, kneeling in front of her.

“Hey there,” you greeted softly as she smiled at you and put her fingers in her mouth. “I’m Y/N. What’s your name?”

Hayden just stepped in and put the bags down before joining you two.

“This is Briar Rose,” he informed proudly as he gazed at her, then looked back at you.

His introduction triggered in your head and the realization hit you. His daughter. This is the Briar Rose you two had spent so much time talking about.

“Oh! Oh my god! This is Briar!” you gasped. “It’s so lovely to meet you,” you said as you took her hand and shook it and she grinned and giggled.

“Briar, this is my good friend, Y/N. She owns this big house that we’re playing in and she’s nice enough to let Daddy stay here,” he said, pretending to press a button on her stomach, making her giggle. “Isn’t that nice?”

“Yeah,” she concurred, nodding, a happy grin on her face.

“When did she get here?” you asked, surprised and excited.

“An hour ago. Rachel dropped her off,” he informed, thrusting his head over his shoulder.

“Ah, gotcha,” you said, nodding, her name bringing up a bit of jealousy. “Well I’m gonna put the groceries up. I’ll make your dinner and get out of your way,” you said.

“Get out of our way?” he asked as you stood up and walked into the kitchen.

“Well, yeah? Don’t you want some bonding time with Briar? I don’t want to impose. I’ll just go to my room and chill or sing or something,” you responded, shrugging him off with a wave.

“What? No. I want you out here with us. I’d love for you to meet her and get to know her. I’m sure she’d really enjoy it too,” he assured.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. Go ahead and make lunch and I’ll get her changed so we can go to the park after.”

“Oh! Or I could make up a picnic lunch and we could take it with us!” you offered, excited beyond belief to be able to spend the day with a child, let alone Hayden’s little angel.

“That’s perfect. I’ll meet you back out here in fifteen minutes?” he asked as he hoisted her up onto his hip.

“Yep!”

At that, he took off to his room to get her changed and probably get a to-go pack ready for her, meanwhile you set to work on a nutritious lunch a toddler could eat, as well as filling items for an adult.

As soon as you were all set up, the food, plates, and utensils ready, you met Hayden back near the front door, Briar on his lap.

“I’ll drive, so you can have time with her,” you said with a gentle smile at his beautiful daughter.

“Really?” he asked, astonished, his blue eyes searching yours.

“Yeah, of course,” you assured, smiling up at him.

“Thank you. Let me just grab the car seat from my car and we’ll get going.”

----------------

The three of you shared a wonderful day at the park. It was in the high sixties, warm, with a low breeze. Briar played on just about everything and Hayden joined her ninety-percent of the time, pushing her on the swings, helping her on the jungle gym, putting her on the teeter-totter. You looked on with such awe. Hayden possessed every facet of a father to you - caring, nurturing, fun, involved. So long as he was with Briar, he was smiling and happy it seemed, and it warmed your soul.

He joined you back on the blanket you’d brought.

“Why don’t you join us?” he asked, excited anticipation in his face and voice as he grabbed a cracker and cheese.

“Nah, this is for you and Briar. I’m just here to watch.”

“Nonsense, come here,” he said, grabbing your hand and hoisting you up.

“Hayden, no! No, Hayden!” you said, laughing and pulling away from him. “I’m fine. Really!” you said, chuckling so hard your argument was futile. He eventually let go of your hand and grabbed you around the waist and pulled you over to the swings, sitting you down right beside Briar.

“You gonna swing wiff me, Y/N?” Briar asked with a happy grin on her face as her little hands gripped the chains of the swings.

“I suppose I am. Your dad seems to insist,” you said, laughing up at him as he pushed you once on the swing.

“You need to learn to let go, a little,” he said as he walked over to Briar.

“Oh? Just a little?” you asked with heavy sarcasm.

“Yeah, just a little,” he repeated with a wink.

“Push, Daddy! Push! Higher!” Briar squealed and you reveled in watching the two of them before you suddenly got an idea and hopped up from the swing.

You stood in front of Briar and caught her swing as she was coming forward.

“What happening?” Briar said as she seemed curious, scared, and delighted all in one.

“I’m the tickle monster, and I’ve caught you in a trap. The only way to get out of it, is to give me the secret code word,” you said with a fake, silly, sinister look and voice.

“No!” she squealed and laughed.

You slowly acted as if you were gonna tickle her, letting go of the swing with one arm, the other slowly going towards her side.

“No!” she cried out again.

“You gotta give me the password, then!”

“Pwease?!” she said, giggling.

“Nope!” you said, your hand inching forward. “Guess again!”

“Pwetty pwease!”

“Almost,” you teased as your hand was almost to her pink jacket.

“Pwetty pwease with sprinkles!”

“Yep!” you cheered. “Now hold on tight!” You waited to make sure she had a hold of the swing before letting it fall back to her father. She squealed and giggled the entire way back before he pushed her to you again, where you would grab her and pretend to drop her a few times, before actually letting her go. She seemed to love the thrill of the idea of falling.

The three of you continued to play, and run, and chase, and laugh all over the park. By the end of it, Briar was asleep in her carseat on the way home, and it was already growing dark.

Quietly, on the drive, you told Hayden, “I’m gonna make you dinner, but then I’m gonna go work on writing.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, I want to. I had a blast today. It was amazing. But I think you need time with your daughter.” You glanced back at her in the mirror. “I know how much you miss her, I don’t blame you. So you need to have some time with her though.”

“Yeah, we need to have our traditional night of watching Trolls together,” he mentioned fondly.

“Dinner in bed, then,” you corrected lightly as you glanced to him and smiled, him returning it with a warm grin, melting your insides.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag:

@essie1876

@magpiegirl80

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@marvel-imagines-yes-please

@missinstantgratification

@thejemersoninferno

@rda1989

@munlis

@thefridgeismybestie

@bubblyanarocks3

@igiveupicantthinkofausername

@kaliforniacoastalteens

@feelmyroarrrr

@kaeling

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo

@damalseer

@heyitscam99

@yknott81

@sorryimacrapwriter

@glitterquadricorn

@bittersweetunicorm

@alyssaj23

@sea040561

@princess76179

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@sarahp879

@malfoysqueen14

@ellallheart

@breezy1415

@marvelmayo

@lyniboy

@paintballkid711

@pandacookieowo

@beiroviski

Hayden Christensen:

@coldlilheart

@haydens-moles

History Repeats:

@multifandomblog315

#history repeats #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen fic #hayden christensen

28 notes · View notes

abraxos-is-toothless · 4 years

Text

Surprises (9)

Chapter 9 is here. Slow again I know but I can’t exactly write without a keyboard. Sorry for the delay. Also I realised that only Az had parent background so here’s some for Elain:))

Warnings: There will be swearing, mature themes, mentions of alcohol at times, and mentions of sex. I will update warnings as I go if needed.

No beta from my lovely @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares because it’s late and I wanted you to have this.

Previous Chapter.

Masterlist.

Ask Box.

This is how I felt writing this😊

Chapter 9

—————

Tap.

Tap, tap.

Tap.

Tap, tap.

Oh for fucks sake. She was going to kill him and bury the body where no one would find it. Elain knew Az was nervous, but, he wasn’t the only one- yet she wasn’t insistently tapping her fingers against the chair she was laying in. Right next to her fucking ear. They had been waiting for the nurse to come back in for about ten minutes now, and every second that passed, seemed more daunting than the previous one did. These scans were important, she understood that, but she couldn’t help thinking that this made everything so much more real. They were finally going to have proof that this tiny little being they had made together actually exis-

Tap, tap.

He was so very dead, dead, dead.

“Please for the love of god Azriel, will you stop it with the fucking tapping? It’s driving me insane! I know you’re nervous, I’m nervous, but please stop. It’s making me feel worse.”

He brought the offending hand up to tuck a rogue curl behind her ear, making her blush. She caught his satisfied smirk just before he spoke;

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just nervous and excited you know? This isn’t how I ever thought this scenario would happen but I’m happy about it anyway, and I just really, really want to see the little bean.”

Seriously, was this boy even real? He was supposed to be like this, he wasn’t supposed to want this. Sometimes Elain just wished he had walked away, that he had refused to acknowledge what they had done. At least then she wouldn’t be forced to confront all of these things he was making her feel, but, she always abandoned those thoughts as soon as they came. It wasn’t fair to Azriel to think the worst of him when he was always trying his hardest to be what he needed her to be.

“Little bean?”

It was his turn to blush then, ducking his head a little bit and smiling shyly. Beautiful. He was so beautiful it made her heart hurt.

“Yeah, my little bean. Our little bean that we made together, Ellie.”

Before she could respond and comment on how utterly cute that was, the nurse walked in carrying a small bottle in her hands.

“Sorry that took so long, I couldn’t fine the new bottles of gel anywhere. Someone decided to move things around and not say anything.”

They both just smiled politely at her as she moved around, setting up the ultrasound machine. Elain felt her nerves begin to pick up once more and started fiddling with the hem of her shirt when she felt a rough and calloused hand, yet still gentle, cover her own. Grounding her in the moment. When the nurse was finished, she came over and asked if it was okay to lift her shirt and move the band of her leggings down slightly, and all Elain could do was nod. She saw Azriel turn and tilt his head away out of the corner of her eye, something she was grateful for, because although he had undoubtedly seen all of her bare before, he didn’t just assume that gave him the privilege to do so now.

“Okay dear, the gel is going to be a little cold at first but just for a minute. Ready?”

At her nod, she squeezed a very generous amount onto Elain’s stomach, causing her to jolt at the cold despite being warned beforehand. The three of them turned to watch the screen of black and white as the nurse moved the small wand around. The anticipation and the waiting made her breath catch in her throat, just staring at the messed up blur of lines. A picture. That’s all they were going to be looking at and it made her feel as if her heart was going to burst from her chest and from the look on Azriel’s face, he felt the same. It wasn’t normal to feel like this. She didn’t understand the feeling until;

“Do you see this here?”

The nurse was pointing at something on the screen, causing Elain to squint slightly. No, she didn’t see. She didn’t see at all.

“I see it.”

Oh, of course he could see it. Bastard.

She felt close to tears, not understanding what they were seeing and turned to look helplessly at the boy at her side. It was as if he knew what was wrong in an instant and let go of her hand to move towards the machine, pointing at what looked to be several small curves and then- there.

Was that a nose?

“Oh, I see it now.”

Az moved back to stand at her side taking her hand in his once again as the nurse continued. God, she wished he knew how much just that touch of their hands helped to calm her. To make everything better.

“That’s your baby. They’re not quite facing forward at the moment, as you might be able to tell. But there’s its nose, a hand and two tiny little feet. Looks like you might have a shy one on your hands.”

A smile threatened to break across her face as she stared at her baby, so tiny and fragile, yet a sound stopped her. She hadn’t noticed it before with all the blood rushing in her ears but she heard it now, so very loud and so very clear. Like the clatter of horses hooves.

Thud, thud, thud.

The question was out before she could even think.

“What’s that sound?”

The nurse, seeing what musty clearly be confusion on her face, grinned exceptionally wide.

“That is your baby’s heartbeat.”

oOoOo

Heartbeat.

His baby had a heartbeat. He and Elain were now sat outside of the clinic on a small wooden bench, Elain with a vending machine hot chocolate- one of the few things she could keep down – as they both took in all the information they had thrown at them. A heartbeat. Gods he still couldn’t believe it, not fully accepting that it was real until he had seen and heard. He looked down at the black and white picture in his hands- the nurse had barely managed to finish asking if they wanted copies before he was nodding enthusiastically -unable to stop the tilt of his lips, and running his finger over the tiny little nose over and over.

Elain’s nose.

His- no, their baby wasn’t even in the world yet and already, Azriel knew he would do everything within his power to make them happy, to make sure they knew they were loved and cherished. The baby and the amazing, beautiful girl at his side. He jolted a little, feeling a small, warm hand carding through his hair.

“Are you alright? I know that was a lot in there, but you’ve been quiet since we got outside. You’re starting to worry me.”

He brought her hand down from his head, kissing her palm lightly, before placing it against his cheek and leaning into the touch.

“I was just thinking that’s all. I’m fine Love, I promise.”

Her breath caught and she blushed all the way down to her neck at the endearment, but he wasn’t taking it back or apologising, because it just felt right time him. However, he did apologise to whichever gods that were watching, annoyed with his thoughts of wondering what other parts of her that blush would spread to.

Get it together, you fucking shithead. Now is not the time.

“What were you thinking about?”

Instead of telling her all of the thoughts running through his head, he asked her what he had wanted to since he had picked her up this morning.

“I was just wondering if you’d stay with me tonight, at the outhouse. We wouldn’t have to worry about the others then.”

At her skeptical look he rushed to clarify what he truly meant.

“No. Not like that Ellie I swear. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want or anything at all. I just want to be able to hold you without being glared at by your sister, and give you kisses without Cass making ridiculous innuendos. You don’t have to if that’s not what you want. I just thought it might be nice.”

She smiled at him then and softly rubbed her thumb under his eye. She treated him so gently, all of the time, as if she was scared of breaking him.

She’s not the only one with that fear.

“Of course I’ll stay with you. I don’t want to be at home tonight anyway. Both Nesta and Feyre will be at yours with the boys and I think Dad has been drinking again. I don’t want to be alone when he’s like that.”

He nodded slightly, knowing that she didn’t like to talk about her father much, but hoped one day she might be able to let him in on that part of her life. He knew from being around her sisters that her mother had died having Feyre and their father started drinking when Elain was around ten. He’d had help before, but sometimes he’d slip and have to start the cycle all over again. Azriel knew it couldn’t be easy, but he wasn’t going to push, she’d come to him if she needed and only when she was ready.

“How about we go back so you can get some things, and then well got to the store and grab a couple movies and whatever snacks you want? Maybe some lemonade too? You said that helps with the sickness and I don’t want you in pain and upset when I know I could’ve fixed it.”

He got a nod at that and he stood pulling her with him placing a quick, chaste kiss to her lips and putting his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. Just as they reached the car, and he was opening the passenger door for her, she spoke again, just a quiet whisper in the open air between them.

“I just wanted you to know, that no matter what happens from here on out, no matter what people say about us, I truly believe this is all going to be worth it.”

She placed one of his hands over her stomach as she finished and he couldn’t the shaky breath he let out, but for some reason it didn’t matter. It was okay to be vulnerable around her. With her, he was safe. As his eyes lined with silver he replied with all of the strength and conviction he could muster;

“I already know. You’re both worth every gods damned thing in the world to me. You always will be.”

He wasn’t letting anyone take this away from him.

He would fight with everything that he had.

—————

Do you love it or hate it? Let me know how you felt💚 if you want to be added/removed from the tags then just give me a shout😁

Tags: @starlitfangirl @starsauroras @drunken-starz @myfriendscallmeraba @thesirenwashere @empress-sei @elrielllll @stars-falling @cirieael @verifiefangirl @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @fancyclodpaintercookie @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @azriel-archeronn @queen-of-glass @bamchickawowow @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @b00kworm @kvi-arts @rhysandhlcor @tswaney17 @awkward-avocado-s @judexcardanxgreenbriar @junkiejosten10 @mu-si-ca-l @agem10 @harmonyindark245 @slightly-sane-fangirl

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #elriel #surprises #teenage pregnancy #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #rhysand #cassian

69 notes · View notes

greywindys · 4 years

Text

I had a fic I was working on for 2Doc week, but it betrayed me and turned angsty when I wanted something softer. So instead, I thought I could share a fic I never published, and I believe the first fic I ever wrote (dated in Google as complete on June 17th, 2016. Holy moly!)

It fits into day 3′s prompt of firsts - the first night the spent together on good terms. The beginning of the bond, I guess. It could also be considered the first head massage (lmao), as I like to think 2D is good with his hands in various scenarios 😉. (I adapted the head massage into scenes in later fics, but this was the first time I worked with it as a concept.)

If there are any “M” or “D” I apologize! When I was starting out, I was too self-conscious to write their entire names (lmao @ me). Oh, how things have changed. Hopefully, I corrected them all, along with most of the typos...

The rating here is T. Essentially, Murdoc encounters 2D late at night when he can’t sleep, and ends up watching a movie with him. They begin to form a tentative bond, head massages are had as much needed sleep. Takes place during P1.

Also happy bday again, Murdoc 😭

For Murdoc, sleeping is a daunting game of chance. First, there are the good nights, when he drinks enough to remain in a complete stupor until daylight. Then, there are the bad nights when his body’s need for genuine slumber catches up with him. On these nights, he dreams. More often than not, they come to him in the form of nightmares ranging from painfully specific to vague and unsettling. Like a flood, all of the emotions and thoughts he had intended to leave behind in Stoke return.

Tonight is one of those nights.

This one, in particular, is the reason he’s left the grimy safety of his Winne, head still aching. He intends to rummage through the studio mini-fridge for the half-consumed bottle of rum he started that morning. (after all, his anxiety wasn’t going to fix itself). Instead, he's thrilled to discover the fridge has been restocked, and he's about to grab an unopened bottle of rum when he's interrupted by a crash coming from the direction of the lobby.

The noise is coming towards the kitchen now in slow, shuffling steps. Murdoc presumes it could either be one of the wayward demons he summoned the other day, or it could be another one of the building's many intruders looking for a blank wall to vandalize. Nothing he wants to deal with now in his anxious state. Murdoc considers making a run for his Winnebago but decides against it. ‘You’re Murdoc Niccals” he thinks to himself, ‘Bass god and creative genius. You're not ten anymore and you don't get scared.' With that, he braces himself and he turns to face the unknown figure that was now in the doorway.

“Oh...Hi, Murdoc.”

It’s 2D.

“I've got half a mind to lob you through another car window,” he says trying to mask his surprise. “What the hell are you doing walking around with the lights off in the middle of the night?” That must have been the source of the noise. Typical. It’s as if 2D is intentionally searching for a way to get injured.

2D scratches his head. “No need to get so steamed up about it. I, uh, well, I guess I was trying to keep to the ambiance and all that. I didn’t think anyone else would be awake right now.”

“I don’t know what’s so unexpected. I get more done in a night that you would in a year,” Murdoc replies. He takes a sip of one of the bottles of rum he’s assembled on the counter. “So long as there are still songs to write, the siestas can wait.”

“Not sleeping well then?” 2D asks blithely. Murdoc can’t tell if the singer has seen right through him or failed to comprehend a word of what he just said. He finds him very unreadable at times, and in the most infuriating way.

“No. I was working. Being productive. You ought to try it once in a while,” Murdoc grumbles in response. “Anyways. What’s all this about the ‘ambiance’?” As if 2D is that deep. “And why here?”

“That new zombie movie, you know the one I was telling you about? Well, it arrived today,” 2D says with a grin. “And now I’m watching it. It’s a lot scarier when you do it the dark.”

“Well you have a TV, no, THREE TVs in your room,” Murdoc retorts, exasperated. “Just go away and watch it there.”

“Yeah, uh, l thought about that, but the special effects in this one are supposed to be wicked good and the screen in the lobby has a clearer picture than the screens in my room. I would have watched it this afternoon, but Russel said Noodle shouldn’t be watching all the blood and guts, so I waited until now. It’s better watching scary movies late at night anyway, you know?” 2D is looking at Murdoc now, a tinge of hopefulness in his voice. “A couple blokes on this forum I was reading were describing it like a Romero meets Raimi type film, really over the top.”

“Sounds like a real Oscar winner you have there,” the sarcasm in Murdoc’s voice is palpable.

“Actually, it was a straight to video release, but you should check it out,” 2D says. “I’m only about ten minutes in now...if you have...time,” he trails off awkwardly.

The band had faced many inexplicable and absurd situations, but it is 2D’s consistent attempts to be friends that confounded Murdoc the most. His first inclination to tell the singer to fuck off. Yet the thought of the solitary journey back through the car park gives him pause. He isn't sure he can handle being alone right now. He needs an immediate distraction, a mood lifter, and making fun of 2D has the potential to be a two in one solution. At the very least, it was a safer gamble than going back and running the risk of falling asleep again.

Murdoc makes 2D wait for an answer in uncomfortable silence before replying. “Fine,” he says, “This better be entertaining.”

2D brightens at his response. “Just let me grab some snacks and then we can go back.”

“Yeah, yeah. Oh, and this time turn on the damn lights.”

With some newly acquired light and a bag of crackers in hand, 2D leads Murdoc to the lobby. A collection of pillows and blankets litter the floor. All the while, and to Murdoc’s annoyance, he takes the time to tell him every detail of the conception of his setup. He had been in the lobby for the past four hours watching movies. According to 2D, doing so in such an open area was much scarier than in his room or even in the building’s cinema. He was also sorry because they would have to turn the lights off again when the film starts. “Because well, you know, Muds. The ambiance.”

“Just start the bloody movie will you,” Murdoc replies from his spot on the floor. The size of Kong is intimidating at night, and it’s not helping him calm down. He hates how much his dreams still affect him. Physically, he had left all the bad energy behind ages ago, but mentally it follows him like a low-hanging mist, threatening to completely engulf him daily. He couldn't seem to make it go away, but he could control how much he thought about it. Alcohol was typically his mainstay but right now, that job belonged to an unwitting 2D. If he didn’t start the movie soon, Murdoc was going to set his entire movie collection on fire.

“It’s the little triangle that does the trick, right?” 2D asks as he studies the remote. “Never mind. I think I have it. There we go.”

The scene starts with a group of young adults in their twenties hiking through the woods as night falls. Occasionally, the camera switches angles. It shows the group from alternate perspectives such as the bushes or the tops of trees.

“The director wanted to flip the whole slow zombie portrayal on its head,” 2D explains. “There’s already been talk of fast zombies in the indie horror community, but he wants to take that one step further. In an interview, he said that not only were his zombies going to be fast, but they were also going to fly.”

“That’s stupid. And you thought this was worth the twenty or so quid you blew on it?”

“He’s ahead of his time. You’ll see. Look,” 2D says through a mouthful of crackers. He points to the current scene. One of the protagonists had wandered away from his group in search of a good place to set up camp. “See what he does with the camera there? We’re watching the main character from the perspective of a flying zombie. The director wanted to make a movie about an outbreak that emerges in the wilderness, not because of some virus. It's meant to add to the impossibility of the situation. How do we fight against something not man-made? Watching the film through the eyes of the monster emphasizes how alone and insignificant we are in the face of well, everything. Man versus nature, nature versus man.”

Murdoc grabs the bag of crackers from 2D. “Oh please. This is hardly cutting edge. We all know they’ll all be dead in the end because nature is bigger than man. Duh.” He takes a handful for himself and continues watching.

2D ignores him and continues his reflection. “It makes me wonder whether it would be better to be a zombie at the end, rather than survive. Not sure I would want the loneliness that comes with it.”

Murdoc is beginning to realize that 2D is in one of his chatty, philosophical moods. He attempts to tune out the singer’s blathering with another drink from the bottle of rum he brought with him from the kitchen. He came here to watch a ridiculous movie. Instead, he's stuck listening to banal musings about the true nature of humanity from someone with a half-functioning brain.

“Well if there’s ever a zombie apocalypse here, I’ll be sure to let them eat you first if you’re so eager. You’re already halfway there anyway, and certainly no better off than these divs on screen.”

“Thanks, Muds. If I ever get infected, I’ll make sure not to bite you...unless you want me too,” 2D replies.

This time, it’s Murdoc's turn to ignore him. “Anyways, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who’s too pathetic to fight against a zombie apocalypse deserves whatever is coming to them.” He gets a twisted sense of comfort from blaming.

“I dunno...I don’t see any shame in being afraid of a monster bigger than you. That’s what makes these movies so scary. We all have our own monsters that seem impossible to overcome,” 2D says sagely. “It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just how it is.”

Murdoc scowls. “Does watching movies at this hour always turn you into a half-braindead Socrates? Or Plato? Hippocrates? He's just naming names now. He fidgets.

On-screen, another character screams as one of the zombies bites her arm.

“Are you alright there, Muds?” Why did 2D have to pick up on everything? “Movie too scary for ya?”

“No!” Murdoc snaps. “It’s not that… It’s just...” Neither 2D nor the rum he grabbed from the fridge earlier had done anything to dull his current bout of nerves. Instead, all the tension has been gathering at the base of his neck. The throbbing in his head from before is even worse. He groans in frustration.

“You just seem a little on edge, that’s all.”

“...It’s my head.”

“Oh, you have a headache,” 2D says, seemingly pleased that it’s an issue well within the breadth of his expertise. “Do you need any help with it? I was talking with my mum about mine just last week; she gave me something good.”

Murdoc perks up. He could count on one hand the number of scenarios where he would place his trust in 2D. Pain medicine was one of them. A strong painkiller could change everything. “Do you happen to any of those buggers with you now?”

“Sure,” 2D says, smiling as he moves closer to where Murdoc is sitting.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m um, well for this to work I’m actually going to have to touch your head.”

Immediately, Murdoc jerks away. “You what?!”

2D shrinks back in response. “It’s just a head massage, Muds. My mum’s worried about the number of prescriptions I have so we cut one of the stronger ones out and replaced it with this. We wanted to see if it made a difference. I’ve been going to a massage therapist for the past two weeks or so. It doesn’t quite do the trick but it works well enough, I picked up some technique myself, uh, I think.”

“You can take all that geeky zen rubbish and sod off,” Murdoc mutters.

“Okay, Muds...alright.”

They continue watching the screen as victim after victim gets infected. 2D continues to interject with overlong descriptions about symbolism, zombie lore, and film technique. Murdoc weighs his options. If he’s being honest, he’s at a point where he would accept anything that might make him feel better. But why did it have to be 2D? On the other hand, the singer wouldn’t stop talking. Considering it was just the two of them, and no one else would ever have to find out, Murdoc makes his decision. Allowing 2D to touch his head in this scenario was justified. Interrupting yet another explanation about the folly of man, he asks, “Hey uh...2D? You know that massage you were talking about? Will giving me one make you shut up for more than ten minutes?”

“Oh..uh,” 2D sounds surprised. “Yeah. Yeah, we can give it a try.” Hesitantly, he moves behind Murdoc and begins.

2D’s fingers send tiny sparks along Murdoc’s scalp as he kneads the muscles in his forehead, moving downwards along his hairline. He dwells on how amazing it feels but pushes that thought to the side with haste. He keeps his eyes locked on the screen and the excessive depictions of gore and chaos. It’s an apt representation of turmoil he is currently feeling inside. What he finds so maddening about 2D, even more than his inscrutability and empty-headedness, was his willingness to be kind to Murdoc. Murdoc had spent the past twenty or so years convincing himself that kindness was not meant to be a part of his life. There was something inherent to his existence that repelled it from him. And he had come to accept that until 2D had to come along and mess it all up. It had to be because he was just too stupid, there was no other answer. Murdoc wasn’t sure he would be able to handle any other answer.

As 2D moves his hands to the back of Murdoc’s head, he begins softly humming. He begins following along to the soundtrack of the movie but soon trails off on his own. Evidently, watching the movie without any sort of verbalization was not going to happen. However, the melody he’s come up with is wistful and soothing. Murdoc makes a mental note to ask him about it in the morning to see if it would fit with some lyrics he had drafting. Slowly, and a bit self-consciously, Murdoc feels himself begin to relax.

“How does it feel so far? Is it working?” 2D asks.

Oh, it was working. More than that, Murdoc realizes a significant amount of his tension had abated. The darkness of the lobby no longer looks so menacing, the unpleasant memories that were hovering over him seem to have floated away. He's never been able to settle himself down from a bad night without copious amounts of alcohol. It’s an unfamiliar but pleasant sensation.

“I think the movie is almost over. Didn’t quite live up to the hype but it was still pretty entertaining after all. How about you?” 2D asks, still looking for a response.

Murdoc yawns. “I’ll give this director you were so excited about some credit. He knows his way around a good death scene. I don’t think I’ve ever seen fake blood used that way before.”

“The fake blood actually cause a lot of controversies because some of it was real animal blood. I almost didn’t buy it myself.”

“Ah. A man after my own heart.” 2D’s hands are still kneading the back of his head when Murdoc moves to lie down on his stomach.

“Oh, are you going to sleep now?” 2D asks.

“No. Keep going.” He would have never considered it earlier in the night but, as the singer's fingers continue to run through his hair, Murdoc muses that sleep may not sound so bad after all. Even though it was just 2D, it’s comforting to have him there.

“So I guess it’s been helping then? My mum will glad to hear,” 2D says. “But you might want to run a comb through your hair a bit more often, it’s all greasy...also a bit tangled in the back.”

“Just...shut up.”

So he does, returning to the reflective melody he had been humming just minutes ago. It’s the singer’s soft croon that sticks in Murdoc's mind as he finally drifts off completely.

-------

When his eyes open, the first thing Murdoc notices is the half-empty bottle of rum he had left by his side. The next thing he notices is that he's still in the lobby, surrounded by blankets. He must have slept there the entire night.

“Oh, morning, Muds,” comes a familiar voice just to the right of him. “You’re awake.”

Turning quickly in the direction of the voice, Murdoc finds himself face to face with 2D. “What the hell are you still doing here?” M demands, mortified, “Why didn’t you go back to your own room?”

“Well, I was going to do that, but once you laid down, I wanted to lay down too, and you rolled over on my arm and wouldn’t budge. I tried to tell you, but all you did was try and elbow me. You missed though,” 2D mumbles. It sounds like he’s still half asleep. “Then I guess I just nodded off.”

Murdoc feels his embarrassment beginning to morph into anger but decides to ignore it. He's pretty comfortable right where he is. “You’re lucky you’re my lead singer.” 2D was also lucky that he gave good head massages. “Because otherwise, you would be on some really thin ice right now.”

“We’ll be lucky to see any ice at all this winter what with all the warm weather.”

Usually, an obtuse response from 2D would have earned him a string of insults or a swat on the head. Today was not going to be one of those days. Murdoc turns again so that he’s facing away from the singer, pulling the blanket over his head to block out the light. He was going to savor the moment a bit longer. Despite 2D being 2D, it’s rare that he’s ever felt so at peace.

“Hey, Murdoc? Wait,” 2D says, “You never gave me my arm back.”

“Too bad. I’ll check back in a couple hours,” Murdoc grins beneath the blanket. He still couldn’t pass up a chance to inconvenience the singer at every opportunity. It was too much fun.

“Don’t be such a wanker,” 2D says as he attempts to jerk his arm out from underneath the bassist. “I was nice to you!”

He was right. And he was probably nicer than he deserved, given their history. For that reason, Murdoc would roll off his arm soon enough. He still wanted to talk to him about that song he had been humming.

The singer had surprised him last night. Murdoc knew that 2D had an uncanny ability to figure out how to annoy him to maximum effect, but he never would have expected him to also know what to do to put him at ease. Underneath the covers, he ponders what exactly this realization means to him. He isn’t sure, but he knows it means something. It wasn’t going to eliminate the underlying resentment he still clung to, nor was it going to solve his infinite list of issues. But at the very least, he could rest assured knowing that he wasn’t completely alone.

#ficpost #2doc week 2020 #it's interesting to reflect on what's changed #anyhow! just a little thing to close out the week

51 notes · View notes

goddamnelsa · 4 years

Text

Liz’s Top Books of 2020

blatantly stolen from @alamorn but also i wanted to feel accomplished that i did in fact read published books this year before descending entirely into mdzs/the untamed fanfiction :) :) :) :)

In two parts! Books I read that actually came out in 2020, and then honorable mentions of books I read in 2020 that were published in previous years. Enjoy!

Top Books Published in 2020 (which are not in any kind of order because I can’t like rank stuff, I’m not that kind of person)

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

What can I say except it’s N.K. Jemisin who wrote my favorite high fantasy series (The Inheritance Trilogy), won three consecutive Hugo Awards for her The Broken Earth trilogy, and she’s writing urban fantasy with Lovecraftian and superhero team flavor. I mean....obviously I was at the top of the wait list for this once my library ordered it. And it lived up to the hype!! Because of course!! It’s fabulously fast-paced with amazingly smart and interesting characters of diverse backgrounds. I kept thinking one of them was my favorite, and then another would have a great line and I would change my mind. It’s fine, they’re all technically one entity with several parts, so I can love them all and not choose (but it’s probably Bronca, let’s be real). And it’s the first of a series! And I’m counting down the days til there is more!

Axiom’s End by Lindsay Ellis

I definitely picked this up simply because Lindsay Ellis, one of my favorite video essayists, wrote it, and then ended up loving everything about it. I’m not usually one for First Contact stories, but I appreciate the very human-focused approach here, sticking solely to an ordinary girl’s perspective as she navigates being the person first in contact with a very alien alien. Cora’s attempts to humanize Ampersand are relatable, but I appreciate Ellis reminding us at almost every turn that Ampersand is super Not Human, no matter how much Cora reads into his actions. Ellis doesn’t gloss over the Science part either, especially when it comes to the race of aliens Ampersand belongs to. Again, the first of a series, and you will absolutely be screaming for the next book when this one is over.

You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria

Insert my obligatory “I don’t usually read romances blah blah blah.” Though, during lockdown, I attempted to branch out beyond my usual genres when I was attending a ton of publisher webinars about upcoming books. This one stood out to me because of its Latinx cast and the whole behind-the-scenes of a Jane The Virgin-esque show, based on a telenovela (of course). It is fantastic, a quick read with instantly likable and fun characters. And the tropes! We’re playing love interests but we have insane chemistry! A sensitive, traumatized male lead who learns to open up again! A sassy but insecure female lead who learns to let loose and love again! Hooking up, but we have to keep on the DL or else scandal! And of course, the extended families add to every scene they are in--I loved every interaction Ashton and Jasmine had with their families, it was the cherry on top of a fantastic read. Also the sex scenes are steamy.

Beetle and the Hollowbones by Aliza Layne

I got this graphic novel as an advanced reader copy well before it came out, and after reading it, I was sCREAMING because I couldn’t tell all my graphic novel, queer coming-of-age-with-magic loving friends to immediately pick up a copy!! So thankfully, it’s out now, so I can scream to the heavens to please read this!!! It is such a sweet story with beautiful full-color art and fantastic world-building. It has the same silly, referential humor you see in a lot of kids/YA graphic novels these days, but Beetle packs in a lot of heart as well.

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi

Like many people in May/June of this year, I was reading, reading, reading a lot of books about racism from as many Black authors as I could get my hands on. There were many not published this year that should definitely be read (So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo being among the top), but this book really stuck with me because it is written specifically for a younger audience, and Jason Reynolds knows how to talk to kids about tough subjects. Stamped gets across difficult concepts like assimilationists and segregationists in an easy-to-understand, conversational style that doesn’t take away from any of the important history and nuance. This certainly is not The Book of antiracism studies, but it is a good starting point if you are daunted by lengthy title lists and aren’t sure where to begin. I highly recommend the audiobook as well, read by Reynolds himself.

(Side note: I watched this keynote address with Reynolds and Kendi which is an excellent primer into the background of how this book came to be. Reynolds is also just very interesting to listen to)

Honorable Mentions aka Books I read in 2020 that were published in previous years again, not ranked because I CAN’T, OKAY

White Is For Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

I read this book and then wanted to go back and read it immediately again, not necessarily because it was so amazing, but because I felt like I would get it even more if I did. This is a haunting little book that took turns I was not expecting, even with the book synopsis I read. It is disturbing and features descriptions of an eating disorder, so proceed with caution. However, if you like Gothic tales of haunted houses and the trauma inflicted on us by those who came before, I can’t recommend this one enough.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

My last book club read before the pandemic D: We didn’t actually get to meet to discuss this book, but my club (all librarians) were working at our emergency call center at the same time and all reading it, so we KINDA got to discuss it, if not in a formal book club setting. ANYWAY, it’s a thrilling jaunt through 1920s Mexico, following a fantastic Cinderella-esque heroine who makes a deal with a Mayan god to retrieve his body. If you are a fan of the Percy Jackson-brand of mythological adventures, this is definitely one to add to your list, especially if you are looking for something a little bit more Adult.

Scary Stories for Young Foxes by Christian McKay Heidicker

Okay, I know it’s a young readers/middle grade book, but HEAR ME OUT. This is whimsical and haunting tale about seven little fox kits who set out to scare themselves shitless by hearing scary tales. Only one kit will remain when the night is over, but the one who does will get to hear a surprisingly sweet, and well-earned, happy ending. If you are a Neil Gaiman-esque horror fan, I recommend picking this up. Its scares are fairly scary, especially for its audience, but it’s an engaging story about the lengths we will go for the ones we love.

Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse

Did someone say Navajo monster-hunting heroine with magic powers navigating a post-apocalyptic world, oh and also saving it??? Look, Maggie is My Kind of Hero, in that she’s damaged, she drinks too much, she’s surly, but she has a seriously gooey heart of gold underneath all that armor. Navajo mythology is woven into this tale of monster-hunting, surviving. If you’re in Supernatural-disappointment-land, maybe give this a try! It has that Western-y, road trip feel to it, and again, I love the lead character. (It also has a currently published sequel and a soon-to-be-released third book as well!)

This is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

This was rec’ed to me by a librarian friend, with the words, “Oh, Liz, you’ll really like this.” And she was RIGHT. Red and Blue are on opposite sides of a war waged across time and decide to send letters to each other, at first, to taunt, but then, to understand, to learn, and to love. The details of the war don’t matter much, but what does matter is the achingly beautiful poetry with which Red and Blue reveal themselves to each other. I was told to listen to this one, but I’m glad I read it myself instead. The prose is very purple at times, and I appreciated being able to go back to passages to reread again and again. Oh, and it’s queer (Red and Blue are both female), and SPOILERS SPOILERS has a happy ending.

(also there is a wangxian remix for my mdzs buds. and also a semi-officially sanctioned fanfic sequel???? at least amal el-mohtar linked it from goodreads so whoo! also also it’s very funny)

And that’s my Year in Books 2020! Seeing it laid out like this, I had a surprisingly good year for book reading even though I felt like I barely read anything. For awhile, reading was Hard, and I just wanted to consume fluffy, sweet fanfiction, but I’m getting back into it. Oh, and please let me know if you check any of these out!

Here’s to a good year for books in 2021! ✨

#books #book recs #2020 #book reviews #personal #liz reads

7 notes · View notes

high5nerd · 4 years

Text

Vorfreude

Aay, my first (at the time) Pitch x Reader one-shot!

Don’t fook your professors, folks.

“When understanding the root words of our modern day languages, it can be daunting to fully comprehend the detail such a language as English can be intertwined with a multitude of other languages long forgotten,”

Dr. Pitchiner was certainly entrancing when he spoke at the podium, flourishing a hand at the list of most common prefixes and suffixes used in today’s modern English, along with a surprise list of obscure ones you knew you had to take note on. Dr. Pitchiner wasn’t one to give easy exams, the last exam was so gruelling someone almost passed out from a panic attack at the multitude of pages.

Despite enjoying writing yourself, you weren’t as invested in English as he was, which was a given, hence the reason his PhD in English as well as a degree in Latin Translation. Many times he’s journeyed to Italy to help assist scholars in finding new information on the lost civilizations of Rome, Sicily, and Pompeii, and that credit alone was the sole reason he got the job at this state college. He should have been employed at universities like Harvard or Yale, or even Oxford or Princeton, but yet here he was, teaching at your simple state college with an acceptance rate of 93% and the highest transferring stat in all of your state.

Not a lot of students found him attractive like you did. Certainly there was more than a couple handfuls of girls, pockets of them, who’ve admired his lithe figure, his graceful movements and that firm ass that was way too snug in his black slacks. Most of them admired his physique from afar, some even daring others to get closer to flirt with him shamelessly, and usually that ended up with a bad memory for the attempted action, as well as the girl who tried to drop the class out of utter embarrassment at such a call out after class that could be heard around the hall.

Dr. Kozmotis Pitchiner took no bullshit from anyone, and that’s the main reason your heart fluttered at the thought and sight of him. This class wasn’t the first time you two had met face to face either, shockingly. Quite hilariously, the first time you two met, you didn’t even like him.

Three years ago, you were an itty bitty freshman just like the ones that recently arrived this semester, and to the best of your luck, you scored almost five hours of total free time on Mondays and Wednesdays before your Intro to Biology class and Intro to Psychology course after lunch.

Why not explore the gorgeous campus during those five hours? It would get you more acquainted with your surroundings and in small cases, make new friends! Grabbing a can of fruit juice and a danish from the dining hall, you munched as you explored the massive quad before discovering where the art gallery was, venturing towards the art and theatre buildings you’d be in the next year for your art perspective requirements. You found yourself meandering in the photograph-covered walled hallway of the English department, unknowingly headed towards the campus’s own local newspaper headquarters when a voice startled you from your entrancement with your journey.

“Hey. Where do you think you’re going?” a voice matching the texture of velvet came.

You turn around, frowning at the sudden startling noise. There just feet away from you, emerged from his office was a man dressed in what you would consider funeral appropriate attire, a smooth black suit with a basic black tie, and shiny black dress shoes that looked like they could reflect sunlight and somehow cause a car accident if he walked outside.

“I’m exploring. Where do you think you’re going?” you shot back, taking a long sip of your fruit juice.

You were mildly surprised to see a smirk cross his devious lips, his silver-gold eyes narrowing at your sass. He almost looked amused at your attitude, even enough so that his tensed shoulders relaxed, but his arms still remained folded over his chest.

“At the moment, I’m going wherever you think you’re headed, which should be in the opposite direction you’re headed.”

Ooh, he likes playing word games. You took another sip and then took a big bite of your danish, not caring about how childish you were coming off to him. You pointed towards the hallway, “Why can’t I go down there?”

He gestured his head in the same direction, “It’s merely copy rooms and computer labs meant for the Daily Mascot Oracle. Nothing worth checking out.”

“Oh. That’s a shit title.” you commented.

He barked out a heartwarming laugh. You grin at him, glad he finally was capable of taking that stick out of his ass and be a decent human being. Almost three times so far in just two days you got two people to really dislike your presence and your sassy attitude, someone named Bunnymund and another elfish looking kid named Jack who’s definition of fun didn’t match yours at all.

“I certainly didn’t agree to it either, but the editor in chief made sure my vote was outnumbered,” he hesitated, thinking quickly before glancing at you, “Are you a freshman?”

You nodded, knowing what he would ask next, “Majoring in psychology with hopefully a minor in alternative medicine and therapy.”

He looked genuinely impressed, “I must say, it’s quite refreshing to have a new student under that field. Not a lot of freshmen choose that whilst entering for their first year. What makes you like that field of study so much?”

You shrugged with a smile, “I like the whole concept of the human mind and how it functions on an emotional state. It’s interesting how certain actions and emotions can create feelings inside us, and I especially love the study of dreams and fears and hopes. I want to do a project on dream therapy for my senior thesis when it comes time to that, but I doubt they’ll let me. Professor Oren didn’t like hearing me say that at orientation.”

Dr. Pitchiner nodded, “Oren doesn’t really believe in the science behind dreams, and certainly not the spirituality behind it if you believe in that sort of thing. I certainly do.”

“You do?” you were genuinely surprised, literally taken aback. You wouldn’t have considered such an eloquent, smooth and finely dressed man to believe in a spirituality. He reeked of realist to you, you certainly weren’t expecting that.

He nodded again, “Of course. It’s only natural for the human psyche to become understandable to a certain degree, and it’s been proven through many other cultures that such things exist, like the sixth sense or empathy or precognition. Why not in dream analyzation? It’s fascinating, I’m glad you’re interested in it. If I wasn’t an English professor I would immediately return to college to take advantage of that.”

That’s when you realized how gold his eyes were, how they sparkled like the richest coins ever discovered in the vastness of the sunken world of ships at the bottom of the ocean. His eyes gave away intense wisdom, feeling and intellect that you felt the need to learn from. You needed to unlock every part of him to see beyond that gaze he gave you with that strange upturn at the corner of his devilish mouth.

Sure enough, you eventually found yourself in his class a couple years later for your required English Analysis course, and the both of you took advantage of that. You found yourself wandering back to his office between classes and office hours, knowing full well no one visited him nor had the courage to due to his harshness in class and strict code he sticks to in not forming attachments to the student body. For you, somehow you were able to break that barrier and see a different kind of man than what people upfront knew him as.

Your friend Katherine is your first and only senior friend at the university, and from her story when you signed up for his course at the beginning of the year, he was known to be callous and strict, such a polar opposite to leniency that even if you were sick with proof of illness, he wouldn’t accept that as an excused absence unless you flourished a medical note from a doctor to him. Everyone feared him, but admired him from afar since he’s the only professor to actually cut down on the bullshitters and slackers in class, and is one of the most respected professors there because of his adventures in Italy as a historian as well as a translator.

You, however, knew him as a sarcastic, good humored intellect with an avid thirst for learning the unknown, and unlocking skills he’s never attempted. From the times you would visit his office or bump into each other in the hallways and have small talk, you learned that at one point in his life he was just as brash, brazen and impulsive as you are now. Before he considered becoming a professor, he was eager to study what you were studying in now, especially the study of phobias and humans’ reactions to certain fear-triggering events or objects. You were the only one that’s ever heard him snort at a god-awful joke you would attempt at, and the only one that’s ever seen him grin at you in such a way it made your stomach flip and flutter.

Perhaps you exposed yourself too much to him, or perhaps he was just so relatable you felt like you sometimes felt like you were talking to a part of yourself you’ve never discovered before. It slightly scared you how much he knew about you and it wasn’t even the end of the fall semester, but you trusted him in ways you’ve never trusted another before. He always promised you absolute confidentiality with your confessions to him, most out of pure merriment and in the goal of a strengthened friendship, like when you told him when you were fourteen you tried blending into the popular clique but still found yourself drawn to the nerds and theater kids once more. He once gave you such a dubious smirk at the notion of you once being the stereotypical geek, with what you claimed to be the unattractive flat hair, braces and awkward gait.

“I can hardly believe that of you.” he chuckled.

“Why? You can kinda tell, don’t lie.” you winked teasingly.

He tilted his head in his hand at you, looking your figure up and down so slowly and languidly that it made your face heat up with a sudden thrill you haven’t felt in a long time.

“Whoever you were before has grew into a fine young woman, that’s most of what I can see.” he looked at you seriously, his eyes hard with truth.

Ever since that you realized that the idea of him being closer than what you two already were was something else you wanted. You thirsted for it, like an obsession. Unhealthy, you weren’t sure, but you were careful not to give yourself away to him, in fear that it would destroy that friendship you two already had. Without anyone’s knowledge but his, you both called each other by your first names. You called him Koz, and he called you by the nickname you wanted him to call you.

Even just watching him write on the board, hearing his voice wrap you lovingly in it’s deep musical tones made your legs tighten in excitement. You furrowed your brows, trying to ignore the incoming thoughts of his voice saying your name like a mantra as you wrote down everything being scribbled on the board.

The guy next to you noticed your discomfort, and nudged his elbow with yours. You looked at him, affronted, “What?”

“You look pissed. You okay?” he looked suspicious.

“Shut up, I’m fine.”

“(y/n).”

Your blood froze, looking up at him in pure fear at being called out in front of class. His hands were folded behind his back, his eyes lingering on you and only you. The class stared at you, nearly a thousand eyes focused on your nervous leg bouncing and the pen in your hand being crushed by the amount of attention drawn onto you.

“I see you have already started to discuss with Stephen,” you could swear to the moon above he smirked ruefully, “Would you like to tell us what the definition of vorfreude is?”

You gulped quickly before looking down at your paper, noticing that the last couple notes were not even notes, they were sinful descriptions of what you wanted him to do to your mouth and in between your thighs. Your face grew incredibly red to the point it prickled your skin as you stood up. You never broke eye contact with him. You can’t be weak now.

“Vorfreude is a German word to define a type of intense anticipation of imagining future pleasures.”

He nodded, his smirk subsiding to something even darker at the moment you uttered the word ‘future’, “Excellent. Glad to see you’re still paying attention despite your distractions.”

Some people snickered at your red face deepening in color as you plopped back down in your seat. By now Koz was shuffling the exams collected last week, freshly graded and corrections that could leave someone in tears if not taken lightly.

As he passed around the graded exams going over the class’s weak points and what to look forward to for the next midterm, you doodled a bit more in your notebook and wrote more lines of absolute sin into a poetic verse, something E. E. Cummings would be absolutely proud of.

You read over your lines, admiring the visual rhymes as well as the absolute clear imagery of being locked into him, his arms like a vice as he would pull your hair and bite at the sensitive parts of your neck, and even now you squirmed at the daydream of such a carnal act going on in his office. More than anything, more than just impressing him with your knowledge and sharp tongue would be for him to pin you to the desk and make you cry out his name in ecstasy as your legs would quiver with release. You bit your lip as you tightened your grip on your sweatshirt, trying your damn hardest not to accidentally make a noise.

That’s when you noticed the shadow lurking over you.

You froze. Your entire body became still with horror and your blood turned cold as Koz read over your carnal poem and observed your lewd doodles with a casual eye as he handed you your exam. You reached out for it with a shaking hand and slowly placed it over the notebook page, knowing it was too late to hide the damage.

“Please see me after class about your note-taking.”

You nodded, trying to fight tears from the utter embarrassment as he finished handing out the exams. You close your notebook in disgust with yourself. Koz continues the class until 5:45, the usual time it ends when everyone wastes no time in dilly dallying and immediately leaving, most if not all heading to the dining hall for dinner. You, planning to indulge in just a minor dinner consisting of cereal or soup out of embarrassment and sadness, packed up slowly.

“(y/n), a word please.” he beckoned from his podium.

You refused to look at him as you stepped down from the lecture hall stairs to the podium, your backpack slung over your shoulder and your confidence crumbling even further as you waited with baited breath as he finished shutting off the projector and computer.

“You have quite a knack for poetry for someone who says English isn’t their forte, as well as for a psychology major.” he calmly noted, hardly glancing at you.

You couldn’t help it, you couldn’t hold it in anymore and let it burst from your chest, all your thoughts jumbled into a single rambling mess, “I swear I didn’t intend for you to see it, I just-I just-I don’t know why I did that and I know I messed up our friendship, it’s all my fault and I’m really really sorry, I seriously wasn’t thinking and I just can’t help but feel these things and it just makes it worse when I think about you, I don’t know what to do about it-”

A hand crept around the back of your neck and forced your head up, and without even a single warning you felt warm, wet lips enveloping yours, biting sweetly as well as fervently. You couldn’t help but make a noise of startlement at the sudden action, but before you could even have time to melt into the kiss, he pulled away, a smirk on his face.

“It’d be inappropriate for me to do such things, but more inappropriate for you to act on it as well. Yet, I know you are wise enough to not pursue it like you want to.” he stated, his eyes resembling molten gold.

Your gaze flattened, “Koz, what the fuck was that if you say you’re not ‘pursuing it’.”

He grinned, “Your confirmation of your feelings, as well as a promise of patience.”

“Patience?”

He smirked again, tilting his head and embracing the feel of superiority again, “You have nearly one more year left. I wonder if you have the patience to stick it out-”

That pissed you off. You grabbed his black tie and pulled him down, startling him as you kissed him hard. You pulled away just as quickly, enjoying the look of surprise on his face as well as slight bewilderment at being cut off from gloating.

You smiled innocently, smoothing down his tie as well as the front of his jacket, “Nice to know I’m not the only one enjoying the feeling of vorfreude from now on. Have a good day, Professor.”

Without a second backwards glance, you confidently strode out of the lecture hall, leaving Koz impressed as well as out of breath at your grand exit. He didn’t realize he’d be aching for you just as much as you ached for him.

It’s only a year, right? Not too long…

Boy were you two wrong.

#pitch black #pitch black x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #fanfics #fanfic commissions #fanfiction commissions #rise of the guardians #rise of the guardian fanfics #university au

128 notes · View notes

himbowelsh · 4 years

Note

Valentines alphabet with Talbert or Nixon please!

valentines day alphabet ( accepting! )

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

Tab is a cuddler. He likes to be close to people, to by physically intimate with them in a way that goes beyond sharing a space --- this boy runs on touch, and isn’t shy about it. He enjoys being touched, having his back clapped or his arm squeezed, as much as he enjoys giving it. In a romantic relationship, this goes beyond casual touches; Tab just likes having his partner near him, being able to pull them close and simply hold them, his chin on the crown of their head while they shift and breathe against him. He’s not very tactile with casual acquaintances, so if Tab touches someone frequently, it means he cares for them.

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

He has a special fondness for wildflowers, but you’re not gonna find those in any florist’s shop. When he’s in a sentimental mood, he might go out and pick a few to put into a bouquet... but Tab’s favorite way of appreciating the flowers is to bring his partner out to a field, where they can soak in their natural beauty.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He’s not a big fan. Anything with nuts in it, he’ll eat gladly. Nutella is one of his favorite things in the world.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

Let’s go on a hike! Tab feels most at ease in nature, so he’d love to go on an afternoon hike up a familiar trail with a partner, chatting quietly until they reach his favorite ridge --- where they can watch the sun set over the horizon. He’s not unfamiliar with hiking in the dark, so he’d be comfortable heading back down... but if his partner prefers it, they can camp out for the night. Huddling in a tent with them in his arms, just talking softly and enjoying the quiet... hell, he’d love that.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Once again --- he thrives on touch! He loves touch! His hugs are warm and affectionate, like a warm drink on a rainy day. Usually he’s on his best behavior, too... usually.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Oh, he’s an inconsummate flirt, and doesn’t even try to hide it. It’s like a reflex at this point. He’s drawn to pretty ladies like magnets, and they’re drawn to him right back. He’ll wink, he’ll tease, he’ll find excuses to get closer... usually, girls eat out of the palm of his hand. He’s not used to being rejected --- on the rare occasions it does happen, he goes a little shell-shocked, and has to sit in a corner to recoup for a few minutes.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

Well, he definitely tries! Points for effort, at least, but Tab is a notorious regifter. If he doesn’t like something, he’ll store it away for a rainy day, and rocks up to Popeye’s birthday party with the poncho Auntie Marge gave him last Christmas. He tries to be smooth, but, like... buddy, everybody knows.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He’ll give the rest of him way quicker; Tab’s had plenty of affairs without much emotional intimacy involved, and frankly, he prefers it that way. Real relationships are daunting. Much as he wants one, the idea still scares him a bit. Tab has to be sure of himself before trusting his heart to someone else... and equally sure that they won’t break it.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Tab has a dozen ways to say ‘I love you’ that don’t involve words at all. He’ll kiss, he’ll caress, he’ll tease, he’ll do the dishes and put them away without a second thought... honestly, actions speak louder than words with him. While he’ll say it after a while, his partner won’t be surprised --- because he’s already told them a hundred times before.

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

It depends on how serious the relationship is, and how serious the situation. Tab’s not an overly-suspicious guy, and he’s not about to make something over nothing... but if his partner’s suddenly spending all their time with someone else, talking about them constantly, or if another person seems to be moving in on them, Tab won’t be pleased. He’s the sort of person to say so outright, believing the situation can best be resolved if everyone’s on the same page.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Do you even have to ask? He’s an astoundingly good kisser; not only does he know how to use his tongue, he recognizes the tentative dynamics of kissing, like a balanced scale which so easily tips one way or the other, and has learned to manipulate it. Not too much touch, just enough to leave his partner hungry for more... not too much tongue, otherwise it gets gross... let his teeth graze their lower lip just enough to make them moan, run a hand along the back of their neck just lightly enough so they shiver. Kissing’s a skill, just like playing the piano or learning to cook. Tab’s... had a lot of practice.

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

Tab’s a funny sort of extrovert: he can thrive in a room full of people easily, enjoying the company of his friends and the opportunities to make new ones... but he never feels more at peace than when he’s outside, in nature and quiet. Honestly, Tab adores his family, adores his friends, adores animals, and would adore any partner he had... but nature will always have a special place in his heart. (Nature, and Captain Winters. Always.)

M : MOONLIGHT. is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Look, Tab can work with any hour of the day. He’s not picky. 3pm? 3am? He’s ready to go. Maybe he’s half-asleep, but he’s ready.

N : NAUGHTY. what is your muse like in bed?

If the human body were a piano, Tab’s Ludwig von Freakin’ Beethoven. Knows exactly what he’s doing with his hands at all times. Tab can work wonders with those hands; it’s hard for his partner to keep track of exactly where they are or what they’re doing, only that they need to be doing more of it. He can be quite sparing with touch during the act, preferring to make his embraces count. Knows all the best places to stimulate; the gasps and moans of his partner only urge him on, encouraging him to work harder at pleasing them. Can grind like nobody’s business, and is shockingly flexible; has tried most positions at least once, and will try them again. When it comes to kinks, he’s actually a bit shy about trying anything too extreme... but if his partner pitches it right, he’ll usually be willing to try. Not to mention the mouth --- Tab has a magic mouth, and puts it to work exactly as God intended.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words?

Not really. He tries, god help him --- he’s even tried his hand at writing poetry, not that he’s ever let anyone read it, because he knows how bad it is... but Tab is quite plainspoken. He says what he’s thinking. That said, he’s got a talent for making the bluntest compliments sound romantic when he tries.

P : PARTNER. what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Someone adventurous. Tab needs someone who’s willing to try new things, who can keep him on his toes at times. He wants someone he can laugh with, someone he can dance around the kitchen with... but also someone who appreciates the quiet beauty life has to offer. If they like being outside? All the better. They have to love animals, that’s non-negotiable. (Hopefully a dog person?) A great laugh, self-confidence... and a bit of passion.

Q : QUESTION. would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

Look, he’ll absolutely do it. If he gets to the point where they’re both ready --- preferably after they’ve had a long conversation about it beforehand --- Tab will plan a cozy proposal outside, pick out a ring, find a serene spot and... go for it. But if his partner did it first, it would be a massive weight off his shoulders, and he’d honestly be relieved.

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He’s got a romantic streak so big that it chokes him sometimes. Really, he just wants to share all the things he loves with someone who can find as much joy in it as him... and he wants to get to know their world and everything they care about. He craves a deep connection with someone, beyond the physical intimacy of sex, but the idea intimidates him at the same time. Tab would absolutely spoil his partner with romantic surprises and gifts, just because he wants to make them feel appreciated and get to know them better. He wants to understand what kind of romance they want.

S : SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He had his first kiss under a jungle gym when he was four. You do the math.

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

He... wants to. Very much. Isn’t sure he’s ever seen it before, and doubts it’s for everyone --- he’s kind of convinced it’ll never happen to him --- but it’s got to be real for some people.

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

He had a girlfriend in high school that he was crazy for, even hoped to marry one day. Little Floyd was popular with the girls, but he grew into an awkward phase that lasted throughout middle and most of high school; but Maryetta Stevens was the sweetest gal he’d ever known, and never judged him for his acne or his bitten nails. He was genuinely head-over-heels for her... but she was stolen away by the marching band captain, and that was the end of that. It took him months to recover.

V : VALENTINE. how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

He’s got a dozen things he’d prefer to be doing, but everybody wants to go on a date on Valentine’s day. If fighting their way through a crowded restaurant just to get a cozy table by the window is what his partner wants to do, Tab’s game for it.

W : WEDDING. would your muse get married? why / why not?

It’s something he’s given a lot of thought to --- and, while he’s not against it, it would definitely have to be with the right person. Tab’s not going to make that commitment until he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with someone; it’s not something he takes lightly.

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Not for his friends in general, but he’s got nicknames for all his siblings, would come up with great ones for his own kids... and a few sweet, intimate ones he uses exclusively for his partner. Those only come out when he’s in a gushy mood.

Y : YOURS. does your muse get protective easily?

... yeah. Abso-freaking-lutely. And he’s not gonna apologize for it either. If someone’s threatening someone he cares about, Tab’s not gonna hesitate to step in, and he’ll take whatever approach is necessary --- a suggestive word, or a firm fist. Tab doesn’t mess around when it comes to protecting the people he loves.

Z : ZZZ. how many people has your muse slept with?

He’s... he’s... he’s Tab, is the thing. He’s just... talented. A gift like that doesn’t come without a lot of people eager to unwrap the package. The boy... definitely gets around.

#floydtab #lowkey this is such a fun character development game too #floyd talbert #band of brothers #headcanons

22 notes · View notes

onthevirgeofdestruction · 4 years

Text

Prompt: Burnout Virgil and Roman with creative burnout comforting each other

Words: 4,370 Warnings: Bad-Self Talk, Self Hatred, Alcohol/drinking, drugs/drug use, food, cussing, creative burnout, stoner, deep Kissing, massages, misunderstandings Characters: Roman, Virgil, Janus Changed Identities: Non-binary Virgil (voi/void/voids) Ships: Prinxietceit/roanxceit Universe: Burnouts/Life sucks Genre: Gay AF

Audience: 16+ (for Alcohol, recreational drugs, make-outs)

AO3 Link

ngl it was supposed to be prinxiety with more drama, but like have you met me and my need for anxceit? Also, maybe Roman has suffered enough lately. I had rolled dice for some prompts but used the concepts and abandoned the phrases completely so i didn’t bother including them, just what I was originally interested in doing. Anyway then there was 4k of gay that nearly got 18+. my writing demon went ham. I left Roman’s creative passion vague so he could be more widely relatable.

Roman sighed and tapped the back of his pencil to the paper laying blank on his desk. He knew he should be productive with this rare free time. But everything he had done lately was met with criticism, or nobody had looked at it, or it was just so bad he couldn’t even bring himself to post it. This was supposed to be what he enjoyed doing. But the blank page was daunting. It made fun of him, even. It reminded him that he failed at what he loved so badly that he could no longer find solace in it. It used to be his escape. An empty page was just an opportunity, a blessing, a wish. But now it was his tormentor.

He leaned back in his chair. He didn’t feel like trying anymore. Maybe dreams are stupid. He already had a job that paid the bills. It wasn’t what he wanted to do, but he didn’t want to do this anymore, either. Maybe he was stupid for trying. Too stubborn to stop. Too dense to realize the support he got what felt like so long ago was just placating nonsense and people humoring him. Roman ran his hand through his hair in frustration and dropped his pencil. There was no point in trying if it wasn’t purposeful and didn’t pay the bills. It was just him wasting his time. He needed to find something else to do with his free evening, then. Maybe a new hobby. But he didn’t feel like doing anything productive at all. He may as well get in touch with the person he knew could teach him to be chill the most and see if voi was busy. Roman sent off the text and got up from his desk to go put on something more comfortable. If he would hang out with void, he couldn’t wear his work clothes and pick up any smells.

Roman changed into some old work out clothes- a soft shirt and some track pants. Easy to wash and also even if voi didn’t want to hang out he could just be a comfortable piece of trash in his own apartment. Roman wandered into his kitchen and checked the fridge, more out of boredom than any hunger or desire. He opted to drink some orange juice out of the carton. As he twisted the top back on he got an alert on his phone. Roman pulled it out of his pants pocket and smiled. Great, he was glad he didn’t have to be a singular piece of trash twiddling his thumbs on the couch alone and going to a worsening place every minute. If anybody knew how to forget your problems, voi did.

—

“Ro!” Virgil called brightly while Roman stepped into the front door. “It’s been, like, ages,” Virgil leaned back on to the couch with a goofy smile.

“I saw you last week,” Roman laughed, flopping down on the couch next to Virgil.

“Time isn’t real, dude, don’t lie to me,” Virgil fake scowled and pushed Roman lightly on the shoulder. “How’s it been?” Virgil kicked back on the couch and threw voids legs up over Roman’s lap.

“Bad,” Roman shrugged.

“Oh, mood,” Virgil nodded. “What’s bad?”

“I’m shit at everything I do and my dreams are dead,” Roman threw up his arms in defeat, shaking his head dramatically.

“Holy shit, we’re so vibing right now,” Virgil laughed as voi pointed voids finger between the pair of them. “But you’re not shit, I love the stuff you do,” Virgil objected, looking slightly confused.

“That’s nice and all, but one person isn’t exactly a fanbase make,” Roman huffed. Virgil furrowed his eyebrows at him.

“You just want to feel like shit, then, huh? I get that,” Virgil nodded after a pause. “You wanna be a piece of shit with me?” Voi asked casually and crossed voids arms behind voids head.

“How do you mean?” Roman asked, looking at Virgil in confusion.

“You know, get stoned and pretend life doesn’t suck like I always do,” Virgil shrugged.

“I refuse to believe you aren’t high already, you’re off work,” Roman said airily and flipped his hand.

“Eh, the buzz is wearing off,” Virgil lolled voids head to the side. “Jan! Get the bong!” Virgil called across their apartment humorously.

A muffled “You suck!” came through one of the bedroom doors. Virgil laughed at his reaction. Roman didn’t really get why they liked to rile each other up, but he thought they were cute together, nonetheless.

“Shit, I dunno if we have munchies,” Virgil muttered after voids laughter died down.

“I’ll be fine,” Roman rolled his eyes. He didn’t need anything.

“No, no, if we’re gonna get you fucked up we’re gonna do it proper,” Virgil shook voids head. “Jan! Going to the corner store! Text me what you want!” Virgil called out again.

“Fuck you!” Came from the bedroom again, though it was possibly the most affectionate ‘fuck you’ he’s ever heard. Roman raised his eyebrows, impressed.

“God, he’s such a sweetheart,” Virgil laughed and pulled voids legs off of Roman. “You wanna have a pity party on the couch or you wanna come with me, lover boy?” Virgil winked and Roman’s ears heated slightly. “Speaking of, is kissing on or off the table tonight?” Virgil leaned down and whispered into Roman’s ear and his entire face grew hot.

“On. I’ll come with you,” Roman said weakly. Virgil was good at riling him up too, honestly.

“I’m more into enthusiastic consent, Ro. If you don’t wanna make out you don’t gotta. We can watch Adventure Time or something. Make nachos and forget about them. You know, all that classic burnout shit,” Virgil laughed and pulled Roman off the couch.

“No, I want to. You and Janus are sweet and I like hanging out. It’ll be a pleasurable distraction,” Roman said, trying to sound more into it. He was just feeling down and had trouble sounding enthusiastic, even if he was interested in mixing it up. He hadn’t spent intimate time with anyone in a long time and probably needed some contact.

“No, you’ve gotten enough half-assed bullshit lately, we’re not going to be a distraction, it’s going to be an event. If we make out I’m going all out. Some fuck-tunes and everything. Red wine. Chocolates,” Virgil offered temptingly into Roman’s ear. He had to admit the offer was tempting. “Maybe a massage, even,” Virgil winked and grabbed voids wallet and a taser out of a bowl near the door.

“Suddenly feel like spoiling me tonight?” Roman asked, feeling kind of confused at the sudden proposition. He would have been fine with making out and eating some chips. Hell, he was fine with just watching TV or something together, originally. He just didn’t want to sit home alone without anything to do.

“Eh. You just look like you could use something nice, and you like that romance stuff. You actually reached out to me first and told me outright that things sucked instead of dancing around it. That means you feel like as much of a pathetic heap as me and need a break,” Virgil shrugged and wrapped voids arm around Roman’s waist as they left the apartment.

“I contact you to hang out!” Roman said defensively. Though it probably had been a while. It is usually Virgil or Janus messaging him first since Roman tried to spend his free time creating. It wasn’t because he didn’t like them, though he clearly gave them, or at least Virgil the wrong impression because of it. Roman slid his hands into his pockets awkwardly.

“Sure you do,” Virgil drawled derisively after staring him down. “Look, I know you don’t feel the same way. I’m not bothered,” Virgil shrugged, though there was something about voids tone that made Roman have trouble believing void. “I still get to kiss you sometimes and Jan continues to tolerate me so it’s not like I’m forever alone or anything,”

“I do like kissing you,” Roman muttered. “I just… I don't know,” Roman trailed off. He really didn’t know. Maybe he just wasn’t that into the casual thing? He did enjoy the casual thing. But Roman was always a romantic at heart and always hoped a prince charming would come sweep him off his feet. There was no reason Virgil and Janus couldn’t be that prince charming, but they’d never done anything that made Roman swoon. They usually snarked at movies and complained about work.

“Yikes, no need to rub it in. I know I’m a piece of shit who isn’t good enough. I’m too scared of life, so I ducked out ages ago. You deserve someone who isn’t always stoned and stuff like that,” Virgil shrugged. Roman didn’t agree with getting high as soon as one got off work, but he never blamed Virgil for wanting to, either. Roman had been spectacularly bad at communicating that, apparently. Good thing it was piece of shit hours, because he somehow felt worse. He didn’t think that was possible.

“I don’t think you are piece of shit, and I’ve certainly never said it, either. And I do like you,” Roman sighed and shook his head at Virgil. Virgil continued to look nonplussed.

“I don’t need to hear you say it to know it. Just like how I disagreed about the quality of your work and you didn’t believe me. There’s a monster in our fuckin’ heads and it’s bigger and louder than all of us. So instead of being all weird, we can just get stoned to shut it up and eat some truffles. Butterscotch body oil. Whatever piece of shit wine we can get at the corner store,” Virgil pulled Roman closed as they walked down the street.

“That sounds… pretty awesome,” Roman said, feeling a little more hopeful. “I really don’t think you’re a piece of shit,” Roman offered again. He didn’t like leaving things where they were, despite his interest.

“Can it, my liege. First rule of piece of shit hours is we don’t refute being pieces of shit. Sometimes you gotta be a piece of shit. The right now the difference between you and me is that tomorrow I’ll still be one,” Virgil said firmly. Roman shook his head but decided not to protest further. Virgil was clearly still stoned enough to not mind making a scene in public, but voi would have a panic attack about it when voi finally came down if Roman let it escalate. Voi didn’t like going out or being affectionate in public wouldn’t be within five feet of Roman without being at least a little high.

Virgil checked voids phone for the things Janus wanted as they entered the corner store. Voi grabbed a wipe to disinfect the handbasket before heading into the snack aisle. Roman made a beeline to the little selection of wines, determined to find something halfway decent. He eyeballed the cooler for any brands he recognized. It was mostly ones he recognized as garbage wines. He did manage to find two bottles of red that were passably drinkable, and the price wasn’t bad. Virgil came up with the handbasket full of chocolates, chips, some candy, and a thing of orange juice.

“Do you still subscribe to that theory that OJ makes the high better?” Roman asked, eyeballing the basket as he carried the wine bottles up to the front of the store.

“I mean, it’s a great excuse to get some nutrients in my body,” Virgil laughed. Roman really couldn’t argue with that. He pulled the juice out of the basket to pay for that along with the wines, and Virgil paid for all the snacks so they could split the costs.

Roman still felt tense walking back, even though he knew there wasn’t really anything to be tense about. Other than the fact that maybe Virgil was assuming the worst about their friendship, but voi didn’t want to listen to any protests. Virgil had described a really amazing evening. They had all the supplies in hand. Maybe that was just part of piece of shit hours. Roman's usual confidence and glitter were gone tonight. Virgil would probably know though, as someone who has a terrible opinion of voidself.

“Is still feeling like shit even though I’m objectively about to have a good time a part of piece of shit hours?” Roman laughed awkwardly as he walked along.

“Oh, definitely. That’s why the need for weed. And the good shit and not whatever you can get for twenty bucks at the other corner,” Virgil motioned with his head to an unlit abandoned and boarded up bank across the way. Roman shuddered and picked up the pace. Virgil and Janus didn't exactly live in the best neighborhood.

Janus was sitting with his legs primly crossed on the couch when they got back with their haul. He gave them a breezy smile when they entered, waving slightly and looking pleased.

“Hey, Jan,” Roman waved with his free hand and went to go put the drinks in the fridge.

“Evening, darling,” Janus smiled. “I’ve got a hit loaded up for you. Guests first,” Janus said, motioning to the bong on the coffee table.

“Thanks. Are you going to join us?” Roman asked hopefully.

“If you’ll have me,” Janus smirked knowingly. He probably knew Roman wanted him there and was just being polite. Virgil dropped everything on the counter unsurreptitiously and bent over the back of the couch to give Janus a kiss hello.

“I’d love to have you,” Roman smiled flirtatiously and bent over the other side to kiss Janus’s cheek after Virgil turned back around to the counter. Janus passed over the bong and lit it for Roman to take a hit while Virgil went into the kitchen to chug some orange juice. Roman did his best, but he wasn’t exactly practiced and ended up coughing. Janus snickered at him and took a hit while Roman went to go get a glass of water for his extremely raw throat, passing Virgil to get the water filter in the fridge. Orange juice would just burn his throat more right now. He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and had to down two full cups to soothe his throat. Virgil was pulling like a champ on the couch when he came back.

“You want to give it another shot, Roman, or wait it out?” Janus asked, leaning back to look up at Roman.

“I’ll try again,” Roman shrugged and sat down between the two. Virgil passed off the bong and held the lighter for him while he took another hit. He took a smaller hit this time, just in case. He’d stay the night like he always did when he joined them, so he wasn’t worried about driving, but he didn’t need to melt his brain or anything. Virgil took it back and finished the hit for voids ridiculous tolerance before putting the bong on the coffee table and taking out the empty bowl.

“So what snacks did you get?” Janus asked, putting his arm around the back of the couch behind Roman.

“Chips, your gummy snakes, truffles,” Virgil exhaled a puff of smoke. “They’re probably not the best ones, but I’m lookin’ forward to the truffles,” Voi smirked lazily and leaned against Roman. Roman could already feel his brain starting to slow down as he stared at the wall ahead of him. Thank goodness it was hard to take too much. Virgil and Janus would make sure he’d be safe if he got too weird. Roman leaned against Virgil took a deep breath. “Bong works fast, huh?” Virgil chuckled and Roman realized he was pressing into Virgil and playing with his hoodie strings.

“Yeah,” Roman muttered. “Thanks. Monster’s quiet,” Roman said lazily and curled more into Virgil.

“I’ll grab the wine,” Janus volunteered, grabbing Roman’s free hand and dusting his knuckles with a kiss before getting up.

“So what do you think, my liege? You still want that massage?” Virgil asked silkily.

“I like it when you call me that, even when it's sarcastic,” Roman muttered and closed his eyes. “Yes, please,” Roman smiled at Virgil, and it was assuredly a doofy smile with how he was feeling. Virgil smirked and sat up straighter before pushing Roman over on the couch. Roman landed with a soft thud and laughed before sitting back up to take off his shirt and lie down. The couch was old and beat to shit, but honestly it was so unreasonably comfortable he could sleep on it. Roman settled in while Virgil came back.

“It definitely needs to breathe,” Janus said, coming back into the living room with a few wine glasses and the open bottle. “Not the worst gas station swill I’ve ever drank, though,” He chuckled.

“You’re welcome,” Roman smirked smugly. Virgil leaned in to kiss Janus before he cracked open the bottle of body oil and the butterscotch smell hit Roman’s nose right away.

“Holy shit, that smells good. Tell me you picked out butterscotches at the store,” Roman asked desperately, because that smell made him want to eat one right away.

“I had to. I mean it’s technically edible body oil, but drinking it isn’t the best idea and it smells too delicious,” Virgil said blithely.

“Voi speaks from experience, of course,” Janus snickered.

“Oh, shut up,” Virgil stuck voids tongue out and turned on some music. It was some smooth R&B as prophesied. Virgil sat on Roman’s butt and poured out some oil in his hand and heated it up between his palms before moving in a wide motion across Roman’s entire back. Roman melted completely and garbled out some nonsense words as Virgil started massaging him. Janus sat on the floor in front of Roman and unwrapped a butterscotch slowly, then popped it in Roman’s mouth.

“You’re going to kill me,” Roman moaned and sucked on the candy appreciatively while getting a back massage.

“Sound like fun,” Janus smirked and slowly slipped a butterscotch into his own mouth, keeping a smoldering eye contact with Roman that set his face on fire. Janus looked amused by the reaction, though.

“It’s all part of our evil schemes,” Virgil leaned down and whispered in Roman’s ear. Roman got goosebumps across his skin.

“Whatever it is, I completely agree. I’m yours,” Roman sighed pleasurably, closing his eyes and basking in the warmth of Virgil’s hands all over his back.

“That was easy,” Janus chuckled. “Butterscotch kiss?” He asked and leaned close to Roman’s face. Roman nodded lightly and Janus planted a tender kiss on his lips before moving in for a deeper kiss. If Roman’s brain had absolutely any functionality left in it, Janus’s sugary kiss completely removed all of it.

“Don’t get him too worked up or we can’t be all romantic and shit in the candlelight,” Virgil chided and worked on Roman’s shoulders.

“I don’t care,” Roman murmured against Janus’s lips when he pulled away.

“Too bad,” Virgil hissed quietly against his ear and caused another fresh wave of goosebumps. Janus got up and lit the candles on the table with the lighter from earlier and switched off the living room light. Virgil massaged Roman’s back for a few more minutes in the dim light and Roman relaxed deeper than he felt like he had in years. “Feeling any better?” Virgil asked, slowly sliding his hands back down Roman’s back to sit back.

“Leagues. Oceans. Lightyears,” Roman said appreciatively. “You’re an angel in black. A siren to my doom, that I will happily crash my ship into the jaunty rocks for,” Roman cooed. Virgil laughed and climbed off of Roman. Voi helped him sit up on the couch.

“You’re so weird, beautiful,” Virgil purred and reached up for Roman’s face. Roman leaned into Virgil’s palm and let himself be drawn closer for a tender kiss that felt like fireworks in his chest.

“After the massage and the kisses I’m not sure I even needed the weed,” Roman said softly as Virgil pulled away. Janus sat on the couch next to Roman and pressed the now filled wine glass into Roman’s hand before passing one to Virgil as well.

“Nonsense, then how would you appreciate this cheap chocolate?” Janus asked lightly, pulling at the edges of the wrapper on a truffle and pressing it to his lower lip before pushing it into his mouth. Roman moaned with delight. It was much more delicious than it had any right to being for the cost.

“I concede,” Roman chuckled as the last bit melted on his tongue. Janus held a truffle in his teeth and Virgil tittered before leaning in and stealing a kiss to take the truffle. The kissing right next to Roman’s face was surprisingly intense to watch, and he had to sip his wine just to keep from overheating.

“So, darling, overworking yourself, or under-appreciated?” Janus leaned against Roman on one side and Virgil came in on the other. Cuddles when you are completely relaxed and stoned are otherworldly. He took another sip of wine that was more decent than he remembered. Though, maybe that was also the weed.

“Both, maybe? I don’t know. Under-appreciated makes it sound like I’m being a brat or something. I don’t feel like I am being bratty. It’s just so hard to get validation in creative fields and I feel like I’m sick of trying. I’m not throwing a fit or anything, just tired of the effort with no return,” Roman huffed slightly, but he didn’t feel like he was capable of being upset right now. Not while sandwiched between two cute people who were dead-set on spoiling him.

“There’s nothing bratty about feeling under-appreciated,” Janus kissed Roman’s temple.

“Thanks,” Roman muttered and sipped his wine again. Virgil basically slithered up under his arm to steal another kiss. The three of them enjoyed another truffle as they worked on their wine in the candlelight.

“You know what’s fun?” Virgil smiled mischievously as voi put a butterscotch in voids mouth.

“Hmm?” Roman hummed curiously and looked to Virgil. Virgil came in and kissed him deeply, and by the time they both came up for air, Roman had the butterscotch melting in his mouth.

“That,” Virgil smirked. Roman smiled and pecked Virgil’s forehead as he enjoyed the gifted candy. They laid closely together and sipped their wine in the candlelight, and Roman struggled to find anything bad in the entire world while enveloped in their warmth.

“You know darling, if you want to feel more appreciated we can do this more often,” Janus murmured gently as he handed Roman another truffle to delight in. Roman plucked it out of Janus’s fingers with his teeth and smirked to Janus, who raised his eyebrow in interest.

“Jan,” Virgil groaned and shot Janus a warning look.

“What?” Janus asked, sounding every hint of innocent that he probably was not. Roman laughed as he watched them.

“I mean it can’t be spoiling me every time, that’s unfair,” Roman shook his head humorously.

“You’re welcome to give me a massage and tell me I’m pretty, I won’t stop you,” Janus smirked and reached around to hug Roman around the waist. Roman leaned into it and pressed his head against Janus’s neck happily.

“Jan, stop it,” Virgil pouted and crossed voids arms. Roman looked up with a quizzical face. He wasn’t sure what Virgil was objecting to.

“I’m just saying,” Janus shrugged and kissed Roman’s ear. A shiver went up his spine and discombobulated him momentarily.

“You know he doesn’t- never mind,” Virgil huffed and leaned away from Roman, looking upset.

“I don’t what, Virgil?” Roman asked and pulled Virgil back to kiss voids hair. Voi flushed slightly and downed the rest of voids glass of wine.

“You don’t like us like that,” Virgil muttered quietly. Roman handed off his glass of wine to Janus, who released Roman’s waist. Roman pulled Virgil in for a kiss; one that he tried his damnest to communicate his feelings with since he was clearly failing with words. He ran his hand through Virgil’s hair and slid under voids shirt. Virgil returned the passion just as amorously after a moment of hesitation. Voids hands glided across Roman’s back affectionately while they kissed. Roman slid down to Virgil’s neck and voi moaned softly as Roman kissed and nipped at it. Virgil looked absolutely dazed when Roman came back up with a smug smile.

“I wanted to be swept off my feet. But you’ve left me in orbit and I don’t plan on coming down,” Roman said and softly held Virgil’s face, looking into voids eyes affectionately.

“Ro, I’m too stoned to follow your wordy nonsense, what in the world are you saying?” Virgil furrowed voids eyebrows.

“I’m saying let’s never stop. Piece of shit hours are over because you took me out of the gutter and launched me over the moon. When I wake up and leave tomorrow, I come back and take both of you on a date to pay you two back for tonight. And I show you you’re not a piece of shit still in the light of day. And then I ask you both out when I’m not stoned because you’d never believe me while I was, which is good of you,” Roman leaned in to kiss Virgil on voids forehead again, as tenderly as he could.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” Virgil looked to Roman suspiciously when he pulled back.

“Well, whether or not you believe me, we intended to have fun tonight. And I believe I owe Janus a kiss if you would like to join me,” Roman raised his eyebrow and pulled Virgil close in temptation.

“You do,” Janus purred and leaned past Roman’s shoulder to kiss Virgil’s head before planting a kiss on the nape of Roman’s neck. Virgil smiled up to the pair of them hopefully and got up to come around behind Janus and wrapped voids arms around Janus’s chest before kissing the side of his neck. Roman turned around and ran his thumb along Janus’s jaw before leaning in, intending to kiss Janus so hard he’d look just as dazed as Virgil did.

#tsss #sanders sides #tsss fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #tsss fanfic #prinxietceit #roanxceit #ts virgil #ts roman #ts janus #gay af #polyship #rated teen and up #ayri writes #nonauprompts

11 notes · View notes

darkmacademia · 5 years

Note

hi! this is a stupid question but anyway. i’m doing my alevels (uk) so going to uni next sept. i’ve got my actual exams next summer too. the thing is, i rly want to do well and go to a good uni and my teachers have told me it’s possible. but the problem is i just can’t like study. i’ve bought books for extra reading and i told myself to watch ted talks and to write up study notes but i just can’t seem to motivate myself to actually do it. i know i’ll regret it if i don’t but i still can’t (1)

(2) find the motivation to knuckle down and study. i even wake up early and i still am not nearly as productive as i should be. i’m just tired when i come back from school so it’s easier to just watch netflix then read a book. do you have any advice/tips because i could really do with some!!! thank you so much. p.s. your blog is amazing and it makes me rly happy when i see your posts on my dash!

[long post]

Thanks for the question, it’s not stupid at all! Sorry to hear you’re struggling with studying, it can be a very stressful time. I’m not super qualified to give advice but I’m gonna try anyway! I’ll relate the tips to myself if you don’t mind, just for context. (For reference, I finished Australian VCE in November 2018)

Usually when you’re struggling with something that is totally in your power to do but you just Can’t, it might not be due to the actual task, but something about it or adjacent to it that is stopping you, e.g. fear of failure, wrong studying techniques, etc. Maybe try and analyse what exactly is stopping you? For example, when I was really struggling with writing practice essays for English (like i wrote Nothing, ever), I found that it was because I didn’t like sitting alone trying to push out ideas onto a blank page, it was just suuuper boring for me.

So instead, I grabbed my friend and we sat for hours just chatting (and sometimes arguing very passionately) about the text and occasionally jotting down ideas to write about later. This made me actually passionate about my ideas and enjoy the work rather than it being a chore. It wasn’t because I couldn’t write essays, but because the way I went about it before didn’t work for me. (I ended up doing really well in the exam even though I started the year doing zero work). This is sort of vague advice, but if you want to chat more, feel free to send a chat message. I’d be more than happy to talk!

But for more concrete tips, these are some that I’ve found work for me personally:

1) Making it less effort to start: sometimes we don’t want to study because that involves getting out notes, setting up stationary, chargers, text books, waiting for the planets to align, etc. So what I did was make it as easy as possible to just get right into it. I’d organise my supplies on my desk so I could literally just sit down and start. That initial hesitation can set you back, especially when you don’t want to do the thing.

2) Studying with friends: this might not be practical for everyone, but I personally find it terribly difficult to motivate myself when studying alone. Find some similar-minded friends and just sit together and study. It helped me a lot to know that I wasn’t the only one suffering lmao. This leads onto the next point:

3) Pomodoro sessions: a common study technique is splitting up your time into 25+5 minute blocks, as it’s not as daunting as sitting down and telling yourself you’ll study for 2 hours straight. Especially if you’re with friends, you’re rewarded with those 5 minutes of relaxing, chatting, getting a drink, so it doesn’t seem like hours and hours of hell. (No joke, this video was my favourite video of 2018, she’s amazing). My classmates and I would find a quiet table, put that video on and just work in silence for 25 minutes, which is actually a lot less time than you think.

4) Studying is hard, but doesn’t have to be complete agony for you to do well: something I learnt during the HOURS of tediously making 500+ A3 pages in my visual diaries (I counted) for my two art subjects. Yes, doing well isn’t easy, but success is NOT synonymous with pain. Yes, you’ll have to do those equations somehow, but grab a hot drink, play some music, put on a cute outfit (idk why this helps, it just does), study with friends. Learning is meant to be fun, don’t let study get in the way of that.

5) You can’t do everything at once: ever get overwhelmed with the size of the task? I got super scared at all the Chinese stuff I had to memorise and it totally shut me down for weeks. I had to remember that I physically could not do all of it at once, so I stopped trying. I broke everything down into weekly/daily tasks that I could manage short-term. The sheer pressure itself was stopping me from working, not the tasks themselves.

6) This is for the more extreme scenarios, but lock your social media: my friend @acastemia and I legit couldn’t stay off our social media during Year 12, so we got the other to change the passwords for all our accounts and not let each other have them until we proved that we did the work for that week. Obviously a dramatic move, but dear god it helped in those final months ahaha

7) Other random stuff that might work: this app for staying off phones, this app for getting better sleep, cleaning your desk - seeing a clear space helps clear ur mind I guess?? Studying in different environments - alternating between cafes, libraries, parks, at home.

Whoops this is super long but I hope that helps somewhat! Please please message me further if you have more questions, I’m very passionate about navigating the hellscape that is the education system and want to see everyone do well ! Best of luck, I’d love to hear how you go in the future. xx

#also thanks for the compliment it's very nice of you!!#took a while to write everything thanks for waiting aha #long post #Anonymous

29 notes · View notes

gumnut-logic · 5 years

Note

okay so i have been having bad brain lately and struggling with life but i just took a deep dive into your ao3 to catch up on all your wonderful words and needed to let you know how brilliant you are (again) bc it’s been a while. thank you for writing the dentist. it’s such a beautiful heartbreaking story and you handled the mental health stuff so very tenderly and carefully and the way virgil’s brothers care so much and so differently, my heart just !!!! (1)

i know we’ll be home for christmas wasn’t my secret santa gift but it truly feels like it when you bless us with injured virgil and beautiful scenery and pure unadulterated fluff. what a beautiful world you have created. sotto voce is just. phenomenal. there are no words for how much it blows me away every time i reread. the prince who would be king?? i don’t normally read medieval stuff but this???? is everything!!! (2)

shooting star hurts so much but in the best way, you are TOO GOOD to us. finally. i will stop soon dw, but listen, live, lie, laugh, learn & love??? honestly probably my favourite fic ever. i come back to it often and just weep every time because it’s a masterpiece and virgil is so perfect in it, i am just so in love with your writing style. every time you post i get a happy leap in my chest & i get inspired to write my own so thank you for making me love writing again. you’re the best xoxo (3)

-o-o-o-

I woke up to these this morning and oh my god, I have just reread this so many times trying to work out how to do justice and answer such lovely words ::hugs you so much::

I really couldn’t have written what I have without this wonderful fandom to keep me going. You, in particular, have always been so encouraging and amazing to me, how can I not keep writing? I stumble across your comments from time to time while rereading fic and they are just so encouraging ::hugs you madly::

I’m sorry to hear that life is being nasty to you ::offers you a Virgil to hug:: I hope things improve as soon as possible. ::more hugs:: I’m glad my fic helps just a little bit. I know I’ve used fanfic in the past to get through rough patches, so I’m really just returning the favour.

Regarding the fics you mention: (wherein Nutty babbles about behind the scenes of her fics)

The Dentist - My most recent actually started out as supposed to be funny, but I’m never in control of these things. I drew from my own phobic experiences (though not of dentists and certainly not caused like Virgil’s). I grew up in a, shall we say, unsympathetic environment to a sensitive child (I am sensitive to a whole bunch of things - side effect of my artistic abilities, I guess, has it’s up and down sides) and developed at least two phobias that messed with my life. The only thing I ask is if someone says they are scared of something, please respect that and assist them in working with it rather than mocking them. It may seem stupid, but the fear is real and terrifying. And yes, Scott Tracy, I’m looking at you - treat Brains with a little more respect, you arrogant flyboy. Not everyone has the same talents. Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading through what turned out to be a very emotional fic ::hugs you lots::

We’ll Be Home For Christmas - I feel Secret Santa is really a gift to everyone. We all enjoy reading each other’s fics and I’m so glad you are enjoying this one. This one has been magical for me. I have learnt so much researching it and I feel I’ve been on the voyage with the boys. Poor Virg, though, I had to injure him just to get the plot moving. I am so mean to him :D I will finish this fic. It has to be finished. I’m enjoying it far too much for it not to be finished. As to the world, I didn’t create it ::hugs:: The beauty of it is that it actually exists just north of New Zealand. I have watched so many videos of this amazing place, I will have to share when the fic is finished :D

Tales of Sotto Voce - This series will always have a big place in my heart as it impacted on my writing like no fic before it. I learnt so much and enjoyed it so much. I really need to finish The Price because John needs to have the last say in this saga and boy, does he have a lot to say. Thank you so much for rereading it. It is always wonderful to hear that my archived words are still being read ::hugs::

The Prince Who Would Not Be King - I’m a little scared of this one. It could essentially become a novel and it would be a steep learning curve for my writing skills. The amount of work involved is daunting and honestly it is tempting :D But not until I finish Shooting Star, We’ll Be Home For Christmas and The Hero :D It seems I can write things at the drop of a hat, in fifteen minutes, at lunch, before work, early in the writing piece, but each story gets to about the three-quarter mark and then I really have to start thinking hard to make sure I tie up all the loose ends and deliver what the story demands - this can’t be done at odd minutes, so gets relegated to time off work where I can focus, hence the delays. Plus my frickin’ muse often refuses to behave ::glares at it:: I’ll wrangle with it and will win eventually ::glares at it some more::

Shooting Star - I was looking at this one yesterday. I have the conclusion worked out, I’m just trying to segway into it. Muse wouldn’t co-operate so I wrote Together instead. This was supposed to be a simple Virgil-John chat fic. It blew up in my face. The emotions in this one just hurt. But I feel it is a conversation the boys had to have. Scott would not just leave his brother up there with a potentially murderous AI. There has to be a reason why it all worked out...and some how or other I now have to illustrate exactly that ::headdesk:: How do I get myself into these situations? But anyway, some more is written, I just have to make it work properly. Thank you for sticking with me as I stumble through my brain working things out :D

Listen, Live, Lie, Laugh, Learn & Love - I have always loved the 5 + 1 fic format, but had never written one. At this point I wasn’t sure I could finish such a challenging format (yeah, look at my long fics now, but back then I was terrified I didn’t have it in me). I also had no idea where the fic was going until about halfway through, was totally new to the fandom and to Virgil’s character and to this day still worry I bent his character oddly with the choir boy bit. It is true that canon Virgil has never sung on screen (that I’ve been able to discover) so this fic is possible, but I’ve never been entirely confident I pulled it off well. So yeah, lots of doubt hovering around this early piece, so your words mean ever so much to me, particularly about this fic ::hugs you lots::

But most of all, the best thing you’ve said in all this is that you are inspired to write. I couldn’t ask for more. There is never anything more wonderful than knowing I have helped another artist pick up a pen or brush or take that step to push their ideas out into the world. The world is so much better the more art and creativity unleashed upon it. The world is crazy about science and technology, but the truth of the matter is that art and creativity and innovation underpin everything our species has ever achieved. That and art can offer such relief from a crazy world that does not lend itself to the natural rhythms of life.

::grin:: I’m not a coffee drinker like the Virg, but you wanna see Nutty devolve into a similar bearhead to the sans coffee Virgil, just see what happens when I’m denied my creative time. You get fic cos Nutty needs to exercise her creativity everyday. It keeps me healthy. It comes in many forms and media, but at the moment it is writing and TAG and yay, lots of fic :D

Aaaand, I’m babbling. Apparently I like to talk about myself ::ducks head shyly:: Sorry :D

But thank you ever, ever so much for all your support. It means ever so much to me and the only way I can really express it is to write more fic. :D

Which reminds me - I do take prompts, do you have something in particular you would like me to write? I’ve just come up on my 100th TAG fic on Ao3 and I should celebrate. I don’t think I’ve written you a special fic. Would you like to make a request?

::Hugs you ever so madly and sticks marshmallows down your shirt::

Thank you so much for reading and being so kind and putting up with my crazy.

Nutty

(off the edge, learning to fly, ignoring that damned migraine I had this morning and worshipping the almighty paracetamol)

15 notes · View notes

gotboredwrote · 5 years

Text

Starting Early // TM!JFM

Pairing: Tim Murphy x Fem!Reader Word Count: 8.2K Style: One-Shot Warnings: Fluff, some pregnancy discussions, swearing, some angst Summary: You and Tim had been trying for a baby for a while, and one day you popped into the museum with a small box in hand ready to make what you could only imagine was a very stressful day better. Once it’s official, Tim cannot wait to show the baby around his place of work. Permanent Author’s Note: To clarify, I write because I get bored. Nothing is meant to be professional in any way, nor is meant to offend, cause anxiety, cause anger, cause sadness, or promote disagreement among readers in any sort of (semi)permanent way. A/N: This could have been written for literally anyone I write for but I had a strong urge for Tim, so that’s that.

Masterlist

To say that it had been a stressful time in Tim’s life was an understatement. One of the biggest stresses of his life had recently come to a head, though, and that was yours and his wedding. But he would never admit to you that the planning had stressed him out. You, on the other hand, made that apparent. That was something he loved about you. You were not shy, so you two balanced each other out. The wedding ended up being absolutely amazing, and the honeymoon was a great way to relieve all the pent-up stress.

Once the honeymoon was over and the two of you were back to your daily grinds, the other stresses in his life returned, including the museum, dealing with his kooky family, and a new pressure entered, as well. One that he was not quite sure he was ready for, but knew he wanted the minute you suggested the idea. You two were going to try for a baby.

But things were not working out the way you wanted. You were positive you were doing things right, but it had been months and no test came back positive. After almost half a year of trying, you were both getting extremely discouraged, and Tim’s workload had increased tenfold, so he was even more tense than usual. To say that you both were wrecked over the situation was an understatement, and after the day you saw Tim go to work with tears in his eyes, you were determined to pick up his spirits. But you were not sure how you were going to do that.

Until you took the most recent test.

You had woken up sick to your stomach the morning after Tim left with tears in his eyes, and could not hold it back. Tim was about to walk out the door when he heard you in the bathroom and rushed over to the door to check on you.

“Babe?”

All he was met with were some sputtering coughs.

“Y/N?”

“W-what?”

“You need me to stay home today?”

You trudged your way over and opened the door to face him instead of talking through it.

“I’m okay. The chicken last night must not be agreeing with me. I’ll be okay, go get your work done. I’ll just see you when you come home, okay?”

“But you’re sick, I can’t—”

“Yes you can. I’ve been sick when you’re away on a dig and been fine.”

“You’ve been sick when I’m away and not told me?!”

“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you, honey. Now go off to work because I think round two is coming.”

“Babe—”

And the door was shut in his face. ‘Great,’ he thought. ‘Now I have to worry about her, my job, and the fact that my body is so screwed up it can’t even give her a damn baby.’ He walked out to his car feeling even more defeated than usual and a little bit depressed. He could not help but wonder if he was worth being with you, as dramatic as that was.

As Tim was walking out, and you were finishing up the round two that came rather violently, something dawned on you. And it both terrified you and made you thrilled.

Once you felt like you could stand up without feeling dizzy, something else that had been happening the last few days, you got changed and grabbed your own car keys. You raced down to your local drug store, the same pharmacist seeing where in the store you were heading. He was glad you did not see him, but he gave you a pitiful look. He stopped counting after you had bought 40 tests. He had never seen someone more determined to have a baby, and he just did not have the courage to breach such a sensitive subject with you. But he did not have to worry for much longer, because the next time you came in the store, you bought beef jerky, something you or Tim never ate. And he knew.

When you got home, you practically shot gunned a bottle of water in an effort to get ready for the little stick that was more daunting than it should have been. Then, as soon as you felt the sensation, you went in the bathroom, and the waiting game commenced.

5 minutes.

…

It was not even two little lines you got to see. You had splurged in the hopes that maybe this would be the one on one of those tests that quite literally spells out ‘not pregnant’ or ‘pregnant.’ You read the result.

And you could not wait to drive to the museum.

The drive usually only takes about 20 minutes, and even though that was all it took this time, the nerves and nausea radiating through your stomach made it feel like 20 years. On the way there, you had stopped at a local craft store and bought a small, white box and some blue and pink tissue paper to place the test in. It was astounding to you how a small piece of plastic was about to change yours and Tim’s life for the better.

You parked your car and made your way into the museum, Lilah the normal receptionist sitting in her chair having her daily coffee and pastry. She saw you walk in, smiled at you, and waved you through. Normally, the people who come to see someone on staff are required to have a visitor pass, and when you and Tim first started dating, you were no exception to the rule. Now, the entire staff of the museum knew who you were, and thought it was just plain silly for a staff member’s wife to wear a badge, especially when you visited so much you practically worked there yourself.

Once through the opening exhibit, you made your way back to the hallway of offices and walked up the flight of steps to the second floor where Tim’s office was. As you were walking up the steps, though, one of Tim’s bosses happened to be walking down and started talking to you.

“Y/N! I’m not really surprised to see you here, but it’s always nice to see you, nonetheless. What does Tim owe the pleasure?”

“I actually have a surprise for him, Jerry.” Jerry was Tim’s oldest boss, and he was genuinely the sweetest man you had ever gotten the pleasure of meeting. “Is he in his office?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure, actually. Here, I’ll follow you up and if his door is locked, I can let you in and you can wait for him.”

“That’d would be great, Jerry, thank you very much.”

You walked up, and sure enough Tim’s office was locked. Having Jerry there was a blessing, and he was about to leave you and lock the door behind him, when he turned around.

“Sweetheart?”

You looked up at him with wide eyes and a hum.

“If I may… what is that little gift you have? Today isn’t Tim’s birthday, is it?” “Oh! No, no it isn’t. This is actually just a bit of a surprise for him, is all. Surprised me, too, if I’m being transparent.”

“Is it what I think it is?”

You nodded enthusiastically, tears already threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Well. Knowing Tim, you’re about to make him the happiest man on Earth. And you already did the day you married him. Congratulations, deary.”

You could not even bring yourself to say thank you because you had started crying happy tears. Jerry shut the door behind you and you heard the lock click. You had calmed your crying down after about 5 minutes, and then another 5 minutes later, you heard the door unlock again. Tim walked in with an enormous stack of paperwork that completely dropped to the floor when he saw you seated at his desk. Thankfully, it was all in sealed file folders, so nothing cascaded across the floor.

“Jesus! Ah… oh my god. Y-Y/N… what are you… doing here?” Tim had to speak between breaths because you had scared him so badly.

“Sorry, honey! I just wanted to come see you and your door was locked, so Jerry let me in so I could sit down.”

“It’s…it’s fine. Just let me… catch my breath for a sec.” Tim sat down at the chairs that were opposite his chair, not wanting to make you get up, roles reversed momentarily. “So. What do I owe the pleasure of my wife’s presence on this… overwhelming day?”

“Well, I actually have something to give you.” “… I didn’t forget about my birthday again, did I?”

“No, Tim.” You were laughing in an attempt to cover up the emotions that were starting to resurface, since you knew what was about to happen. Your lives were about to change. Well, Tim’s was. Yours already had, alone in the bathroom earlier this morning.

You slowly slid the white box over to your husband, and he looked at it with confusion at first. Then he slowly reached for it and lifted the lid. He saw the pink and blue bundle of tissue paper and looked back up at you with even more confusion. You were doing everything in your power to not give anything away, but much to your chagrin, a tear slipped from your eyes the moment Tim made eye contact with you. The confusion lifted from his face, and a new emotion took over – concern. He ripped into the tissue paper like a small child on Christmas morning, but with the intensity of a grown man. The tissue paper had been scattered all around his legs and the floor and the top of his desk until he got to what was hidden underneath it.

‘Pregnant.’

The room was silent for a moment. Then came the sniffles from both sides of the desk. Then the eye contact of eyes that were flooded with tears and burning red with overwhelming feelings of love. Tim was by your side in an instant, latching on to you with everything he had. You were sobbing and he was laughing. It was a moment you would never forget.

“I… I knew we were doing it right.”

“Obviously, Timmy.”

“You’re going to be a mom… oh my God, you’re going to be a mom and-and I’m…”

“You’re going to be a dad.”

Tim looked at you and his eyes sparkled the way water looks when the sun shines down on it.

“An amazing dad.”

[2.5 Weeks]

“Isn’t that a good idea? We can start he/she early!”

“You know I don’t like pictures, Tim.”

“But this is different! This is something we are both going to want to look back on, and what better way to do it?”

Tim had come home from work a few days after he found out you were pregnant with a bag from a local electronics shop and was enthusiastically telling you about a plan he had. The plan involved something you had hated even before you were pregnant, but knowing that you were going to just be getting bigger and bigger as time went on made you hate the idea even more. Tim had wanted to document your pregnancy through pictures at the museum at milestone dates.

“… fine. You spent all that money on the camera, so I guess I can deal with it.”

“Astounding! And it starts today, you’re coming to work with me!”

“Tim! I have to go to work myself, I can’t just not show—”

“I already called your boss, he said it’s fine. Probably because he wanted me to just shut up, but it worked!”

You just looked at Tim lovingly while he laughed to himself. Then you ran over to the bathroom. Tim never thought he would get used to hearing you get sick. He almost felt bad that he was the cause of it, but knowing what would come out of it after nine months made it completely worthwhile to him. You were not so sure in the moment, but Tim’s enthusiasm convinced you otherwise.

You had made your way to the museum carefully, because the motions of cars did upset your stomach more. But the ride was quick and pretty painless this time. The two of you had decided not to tell anyone right away in case the worst happened, so when the museum staff saw you and Tim walk in together, no one thought anything different. Except for Jerry, but Tim had talked to him in advance and he knew not to say anything. When you two passed him walking to Tim’s office, he just gave you both a small smile, which you both returned.

Once all of Tim’s belongings were in his office, the two of you started walking hand in hand through the museum. Tim seemed to be taking you to a specific exhibit that he had in mind, but you were not sure why. Then it dawned on you. It was the exhibit that had the skull he found a long time ago on a dig when the two of you were still dating. (You do not have to read this for this story to make sense, just know that it could be read as a prequel of sorts.)

“Why are we stopping here?”

“You didn’t think I bought an expensive camera without a plan on when to use it, did you?”

“Of course not, but why this exhibit?”

“Don’t you remember? This is where the skull I found it is. I thought this could be where we take the growth pictures. Do you… hate the idea?”

You were feeling emotional to begin with, what with all the new hormones raging through your body, but you were just so happy in that moment that you just hugged Tim tightly. When you pulled away, through more happy tears, you told him how happy you were and how much you loved the idea.

Tim had you stand sideways in front of the display, lit with gold-tinted lights that illuminated your silhouette in a way that almost made Tim cry.

“There’s not much of a bump yet, Tim.” “But we know he/she’s there.”

[One Month]

The morning sickness had increased. Quite a bit. You felt sick around the clock, and practically everything you ate came up later in the day. Tim had gotten better at handling it. At first, he would have trouble being in the bathroom or even near it. Now he can hold your hair back for you as long as he does not look at you. You took what you could get.

One particular morning, Tim had woken up more excitable than he had been recently. You just felt sick so you ignored him. Then you felt a flop on top of you, signaling Tim had thrown something on top of you.

“What the hell are you doing? I don’t work today, why are you waking me up? And throwing my clothes on me?”

“Because you’re coming to the museum today. It’s been one month!”

“What…are you talking—”

“One month since you got pregnant, baby!”

The days dragged so much for you with how awful you felt, both physically from the sickness, and emotionally from not being able to tell anyone yet, that you completely stopped keeping track of dates. You had trouble believing that it had already been so long.

“Oh… that means it’s picture day, huh?”

“You bet! Plus, I’m giving a tour today to a group of 6 year-olds, so maybe you could tag along and see what we have coming!”

You offered Tim a weak smile. You were both so sure of having a kid together, but the reality of at it all had not really set in, at least for you. Your brain still continually told you that it was simply severe food poisoning from that chicken. But to Tim, it was his child. He was so proud that he could do something like that, and he wanted to prepare in every possible way he could, just so he could be the kid’s best friend. But you knew he did not have to prepare for that – it would happen by default. Almost made you jealous.

After a smaller than usual bout of morning sickness, you got dressed in the outfit Tim had picked out for you. The same one you wore the first time he took a picture. You understood why. The pants were a simple pair of grey sweats that were baggier around your lower abdomen and butt but were fitted toward the bottom, and a simple, oversized by about 3 sizes, pastel yellow tee shirt. An outfit that would be very easy to utilize for showing off a growing bump. Just what Tim wanted to do with his camera.

You went into your kitchen and smelled one of the few breakfast foods that did not make you sick, a chocolate croissant, something that Tim liked to bake for you even before you got pregnant. It was a specialty of his. One of the few things he could cook or bake, in general. He was standing at your kitchen table, with a somewhat bashful expression on his face. He held a croissant out in front of him, work bag and car keys in the other.

“I didn’t have time to bake them this weekend, so these are store-bought, but I warmed this one for you.”

You just walked over, took the croissant gently from his hands, and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, honey.”

“You’re very welcome. Hope they’re not better than mine.”

“Close. But yours are better.”

“Fantastic.” He seemed really giddy about that fact. It made you smile. “You ready to head in?”

“I think so, I just need to grab my wallet.”

With that, the two of you made your way over to the museum and barely had any time to lock your belongings in his office when the exhibit manager of the day came over and told Tim the group was already there, and they were getting impatient. He needed to make his way down quickly or there would be a bunch of rambunctious 6-year-olds making a mess for the janitors.

Tim told them he would be down as soon as he could, but he would only walk at the speed you felt comfortable with. You were his priority. You were doing good on the sickness today, and he was not about to be the reason that changed. You two made your way down and instantly Tim went into tour guide-mode. It honestly was one of the funniest Tim personalities you knew, but you loved it all the same. Tim was introducing himself to the kids and the teachers and chaperones while you watched from the back of the group. A small group of Tim’s coworkers walked by the group and saw you standing there, and waved enthusiastically. Nothing out of sorts. You two still had your secret in place.

You followed the group around from the back, sometimes talking to one of the chaperones about this or that, and even mentioned to one that you were in the very early stages of your pregnancy, to which she became giddy but kept it contained. The only reason you mentioned it to her was because you had pointed out that one girl seemed to be very sad the whole tour and the lady mentioned that it was her daughter.

“If you’d like, when they have a break, you could go talk to her.”

“What? Why? Why me?”

“You’re gonna need practice, sweetheart, boy or girl.”

You gave her a nervous look, because this was making reality really set in for you. But you heeded her words, knowing she was right, and made your way over to the little girl while she ate her lunch alone.

“Hi there.”

She looked up at you with big, beautiful blue eyes.

“May I sit with you? I don’t have anyone to eat lunch with.”

She just nodded her head and kept slowly munching, her mother watching from behind so the girl did not see her.

“What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Josephine.”

“That’s a beautiful name! Mine’s nowhere near as pretty, it’s just Y/N.”

“That’s pretty too!”

“Well, thank you. Josephine is prettier though. Your lunch looks good, what’re you having?”

“PB&J!”

You gasped in shock. “That’s my absolute favorite! In fact,” you reached down into your bag, “I brought one myself!”

Josephine laughed loudly, the sound attracting the attention of both her mother and Tim, but you two were too wrapped up in each other to notice.

“Josephine, can I ask you a question?”

Another nod.

“You looked really sad all morning, and that made me sad. Could you tell me why?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Honey. I promise there is no stupid reason to feel however you’re feeling. Emotions are natural reactions to whatever happens to you. What you feel is okay to feel. If you tell me what it is, I might be able to make you feel better.”

“…Tyler called me unpretty.”

“Tyler called you unpretty?”

“Yeah.”

“Well listen. Tyler is the one here who is unpretty. You, my dear, are beautiful. Just like a Disney princess. You have a name fit for one, too. And I want you to know that that kind of behavior is not tolerated in the adult world, so I will make sure it stops for you, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“You think you can enjoy the rest of Dr. Tim’s tour?”

“Are you going to be there?”

“Of course I will, sweetie. Dr. Tim and I have a very special relationship. I’m his biggest fan.”

“Do you love him?”

Her question caught you slightly off guard. “More than anything in this world, sweetheart.”

“Okay.”

“But I’ll be right behind the group the whole—”

“Would you hold my hand while he gives the show?”

You stopped in your tracks. That felt too much like something her own mother should do. You glanced over to her, knowing she was watching the interaction now, and she gave you the thumbs up.

“I would love to sweetie.”

For the rest of the tour, you stuck by Josephine’s side, hand not leaving hers once. Every once in a while, you were certain you saw Tim sneak a lingering glance at the two of you, and one time it lasted so long, he had to break himself out of his thoughts and his eyes had gotten a little glossy.

At the end of the tour, you all said your goodbyes, and you gave Josephine a quick hug, and gave one to her mother, as well. As you and Tim watched the bus drive away, Tim turned to you with a small smirk on his face.

“What do you want, Dr. Tim?”

“Oh, nothing… mom.”

He grabbed your hand and immediately took you to the display so he could take your picture. Still not much of a bump, you noticed, but you sure as hell felt different after the interaction you had today.

“My money’s on girl.” “Really? You’re already making bets? On what grounds?”

“You were too damn good with that little girl for it to be coincidental.”

[Two Months]

Morning sickness was still a bitch, frankly. Your doctor, one of only 5 people who know about your pregnancy at this point, including you and Tim, put your mind at ease explaining that it should subside around month 4. Halfway to the cravings period, she explained. Nothing particular important happened in the last month, both at Tim’s work and with your pregnancy. Things were going smoothly, other than the incessant sickness, but that more than likely meant you and baby were healthy. At least according to your doctor.

You felt Tim throw your clothes on top of you again, signaling that you would be spending another day at the museum. Another picture day. This time you were less upset about him waking you up. But once you stood up, you were sprinting to the bathroom.

Damn morning sickness.

One chocolate croissant and a twenty-minute drive later, you were seated in Tim’s office reading a book from his shelf, one of the few novels relating to dinosaurs he had amongst hundreds of textbooks. He had mainly a paperwork day that day, so the two of you just enjoyed each other’s presence. Something you hardly got to do even before you were pregnant. Your work lives made it so hard to see each other for any extended period of time, but you found ways to make it work.

Before either of you knew it, you had spent the entire day in his office, with you reading and him doing paperwork. It was practically time to go home, but you still had not taken your picture yet. You and Tim gathered all your belongings, locking up on your way out and made your way down to the exhibit. When you got down there, you placed all your stuff out of frame and stood profile to him and head gazing down at your stomach, just like any other shoot.

But you never heard the shutter.

You looked over at Tim who had tears streaking down his face, the camera shaking from how his hands were violently doing the same. You rushed over to him and grabbed his face, completely overwhelmed with confusion because you had no idea what triggered this. It was not raining or anything, so you had no idea what had set him off.

“Tim, baby, what’s wrong?” The panic was apparent in your frantic tone of voice.

“You’re showing.”

“What?”

“You’re showing.”

“What are you talk—”

“Let me take the picture.”

You slowly pulled away from him, resuming your position from a second before, and you heard the shutter go off this time. You walked back to him to see what he was referring to, and it hit you as hard as a wave of nausea in the morning.

You were showing.

The baby was showing.

You had already started to show after only two months.

You looked up at Tim with eyes that were just as watery as his, and hugged him tightly, but his grip was lighter. Knowing what was in between the two of you.

It became real.

[Three Months]

You had your doctor’s appointment, and she told you that it was officially safe to begin telling people about the pregnancy. Everything was looking fine, and the fact that you already had a small bump this early meant the baby was big and healthy. Absolutely nothing to worry about.

You told your families, and they all were extremely supportive, and Lex even cried, knowing that her kids would have a new family member to play with. Everything was going great, and you and Tim constantly felt like you were on cloud 9.

When you went into the museum to take the photo that day, you decided enough was enough and stopped hiding the bump, letting Tim’s coworkers ask about it. Some clapped him on the back, some broke down in tears at how amazing of parents they knew you two were going to be. It was all very overwhelming, but the two of you kept it pretty well together. Until it was time to take the photo. For some reason, seeing how much you had grown in a month set both of you off to the point where you were leaned up against the exhibit window, crying silently with each other.

Until you decided to speak.

“Am I going to be a good mom?”

“Wh-what?”

“Am I—”

“You’re going to be a perfect mom. I don’t know what brought this sudden fear up, but know that you are going to be a natural.”

“It’s all becoming so real, Tim. Like, I don’t need to stand sideways anymore to see the bump. He/she is really growing. They’re real. I just… don’t want to mess up.”

“Do you really think you and I aren’t going to make any mistakes? I mean, yes, we are near perfect human beings,” Tim’s sarcasm and sass always made you laugh, because it was never something people expected to come from such a shy human, “but all parents make mistakes. That’s how kids develop personalities. Otherwise, baby-making could basically be named cloning and we’d have invented that without even knowing it.”

Tim saw that you were not looking at him and tears were still running down your face. So, he grabbed it and pulled it to look at him.

“I didn’t have to see you with that girl to know you are going to be as perfect as you can be. Because I can see how much the idea of being a bad mom is eating away at you. You couldn’t handle the prospect of someone thinking you’re a bad mother, so you’re going to do everything in your power to make sure that doesn’t happen. Plus, I just know you. You were practically a mom even when we were dating. How much you doted on me. Took care of me on my bad days. Still do.”

You believed Tim. You believed every word that came from his mouth.

“And I know I’m going to be a great dad by the same logic as you. I don’t want to be a bad dad more than anything in this world, so I’m not going to let it happen. Plus, Lex can always give us pointers.”

“…thank you.” “Anytime, mother of my child.”

“…that’s weird, don’t say that.”

“You married this weirdo, you should expect this after all these years, Y/N.”

[Four Months]

Your morning sickness subsided – just like the doctor told you it would. It was a relief to not be throwing up every 2 hours. But the cravings were not much better. Beef jerky? ‘Really, baby?’ you always thought as you would gaze at your ever-growing stomach, now practically impossible to hide.

Walking in the museum with outside food or drink was against the rules, but Tim’s coworkers and bosses made an exception for you, knowing how hard you two tried to get to this moment in your lives. Especially when they saw you walk in going to town on a bag of beef jerky. They could tell by your expression that you hated it but it was what the baby wanted, and they always laughed out of pity and bemusement.

Nothing particularly exciting happened this day, either, just like last month. With the exception of a recent find being dropped off the museum for display. Tim told you he would finish up his paperwork and you could go watch them set it up. Then he would come find you when he was done and you could take your picture and go.

Once Tim had taken the picture, Tim had started crying again, so you ushered him to join you by the display and sit down.

“What’s going on, Timmy?”

“What… if they’re scared of me?”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“Scars, Y/N.”

You just looked at him in shock.

“I don’t look like you. Or anyone else. I’m marked. I know eventually I’ll have to explain what these are from, but what if when they’re a baby they don’t want me to hold them? Or feed them? Or change them? Or lay them in the crib? What if they just think I’m a monster? And not…dad?”

“… I wish I could say it won’t scare he/she. But I definitely think they’ll be interested… to a degree. But that won’t matter to a baby. All they’re going to see is your big beautiful eyes and your smile. All they’re going to hear is how cute they are and your gorgeous singing voice when you sing them to sleep. You’ll appear as the farthest thing from a monster, and you just have a really cool bedtime story to tell them when they’re younger. You can save the real stuff for later.”

“…”

“I love your scars. You know that. Very much so. I think the baby will, too.”

[Five Months]

You had officially gone one month without morning sickness, and you were very thankful for that fact. Tim would never say it to your face, but he was too. He did not want to make you feel bad for making him feel sick all the time, too, seeing as that the cause of yours was him. Your cravings were still in a pretty full swing, though, but they were never terrible combinations like movies and television made them out to be. Most of the time they were just foods you were not particularly fond of, but you could move past that, since they did not make you sick.

You had another doctor’s appointment, as per usual, but this was one you did not tell Tim about. Not because there was anything involved he had not seen before, but because this was the official appointment where the gender could be found out. You had a plan; you were going to have the doctor tell you the gender, and then you were going to work with the museum to have a small, private gender reveal for Tim. When you found out the gender, you cried and wanted to immediately share the news with Tim, but patience is truly a virtue, and you knew it would be worth the wait.

When you got home that day, you called the museum and told them what day you would be coming into the museum to take the newest photo, and they were more than willing to help you out. You wanted the surprise to be simple, so you explained what you had in mind, and they were all for it. Eventually the day came where you and Tim went to the museum together, and you spent the day like any other, moseying around sometimes with him and sometimes not. On one occasion when you were by yourself, you walked over to the exhibit where you took your photos to make sure the reveal had not been set up yet, and thankfully it was not. Meaning, Tim had no clue what he was in for.

Later in the day, the museum had closed up for the public, so you made a quick call to the manager who was going to set up your surprise to signal it was go time. You stalled Tim in his office as long as you could, but eventually, you ran out of stuff to say. So, you two made your way downstairs, and all you could do was hope that the manager got out of there in time.

Once in front of the exhibit, you decided not to say anything at first. See if Tim would notice. You set yourself up in front of the viewing window and assumed the position, and you heard the shutter go off. You were almost hurt that Tim did not notice the glaringly obvious breach of protocol in the exhibit, because you were the one who wanted to do this surprise for him. So, you decided to egg him on a bit.

“Tim, did I tell you I had an OBGYN appointment today?”

Tim’s head slowly looked up at you from the camera and his eyes were glossy, and you were certain you could see his lips trembling, holding back a smile.

“I didn’t think not telling you would make you this upset, honey, I’m really—”

“Pink.”

That explained the tears. And the attempt not to smile. He saw your surprise in the photo looking closer. You had instructed the museum to find a small beanie that would fit onto the skull in the exhibit that Tim had found on the dig. A pink one. To let him know that he would be having a daughter with you.

“It’s pink… you’re having… having a girl?”

“We’re having a girl, yes. A girl, Tim!”

“That’s the greatest news anyone could have ever told me. A girl… oh my God, a girl!”

You could see that he was ecstatic to hear that it was a girl. Both of you would have been happy with whatever it ended up being, but the happiness that radiated off of your husband indicated to you that he might have been leaning toward a preference.

“Oh no.” “What, Tim? You were just so happy.”

“I’m going to have to fight a lot of men soon.” “What? Why?” You were practically laughing just at the thought of Tim trying to win a fight. He was headstrong, sure, but body strong? Not so much.

“She’s going to be just as beautiful as her mother, which means a lot of potential suitors.”

“I’ll help her. She needs a man just like her father.”

[Six Months]

After finding out that the two of you were going to have a girl, it was time to tell your families and friends, and they had nothing but sweet and wise words of advice. Everyone kept saying to you privately that they could see you being a great mom to a boy or a girl, but that Tim would be especially good with a girl. For some reason, it just made sense, and you could not help but agree with them. He was always just so tender and sweet with everyone he meets, and he treated you like a fragile piece of glass when he interacted with you, giving you the utmost care. You would not be surprised if that happened with your baby, but ten-fold.

This day at the museum was nothing out of the ordinary – paperwork, some smaller tours, things of that nature. You did not mind though. With how far along you were getting, nearing the third trimester already, you were starting to constantly feeling tired. So, being able to lounge on Tim’s office couch and just doze off or read a little bit was always a nice feeling.

At one point though, someone had knocked on the door while Tim was out, and you honestly were not sure if you should answer. That situation, despite how long the two of you had been together, had not come up since the first time. The first time it was just a package for him, so it was not a big deal, but you could never be sure who it was, since his door did not have a peephole.

You carefully stood up on your own, not used to not having Tim right by your side to help you, and answered the door. Standing behind it was a very cheery Jerry, Tim’s boss.

“Y/N? I didn’t expect you to answer.”

“Timmy is off with an intern explaining something he did wrong.” You both laughed at the idea of Tim being all nervous and jittery about something being wrong. “Would I be able to help you with what you needed?”

“Actually, the whole reason I came was for you, but I was just going to have him give you this.” Jerry handed you an envelope that felt extremely thin, but you did not question it one bit. Jerry had his ways of explaining himself sooner or later. “Just read that whenever you get a chance, dear. I think you’ll like what’s inside.”

“Alright. Should I—”

And he shut the door behind him, leaving you with your mouth agape.

So, you decided now was a good a time as any, since Tim was not there still to keep you company. You sat back down, carefully, onto his couch and opened the letter. It was a single sheet of paper, with hardly 15 sentences on it. You read it slowly and quietly to yourself, and when you had finished, Tim walked back through the door. He was met with the site of you crying silently and red-rimmed eyes. Immediately he was by your side asking you if you were okay and if the baby was hurt. You just looked up at him wearily but forcing a smile on your face while sliding the letter in his direction. Tim read aloud.

“Dearest Murphy’s,

I hope this letter finds you at a happy time, or maybe, it would be better when you’re slightly sad and could be a pick-me-up of sorts. I would like to make this short and sweet, so as not to take much up of your time. First and foremost, I would like to offer you a piece of advice – frankly, it is what I would call the best piece of parenting advice one could receive, especially as first-time parents. ‘Protect the child at all costs, but do not prevent them from exploring potential.’ Pretty self-explanatory, but in case it isn’t clear – please keep the child safe at whatever cost, but if they express sincere interest in something and there is no inherent danger involved, even if it makes you anxious at first, don’t squander it. Children are so precious, and their minds take in everything, despite what you may think, and preventing the child from expressing themselves is only going to make them despise you and want to do everything in the opposite way you told them to. Secondly, I would like to offer Tim paid paternal-leave for as long as you are earning yours from your employer – we will match the length of time. Plus, as a bonus from the entire museum staff for all you two have done over the years for us, a small token of our gratitude is enclosed here that I sincerely hope will help you throughout the beginning of this journey.

I sincerely treasure you both as human beings, and I wish you all the luck with your little family.

Sincerely yours,

Jerry Turner, CFO Cretaceous and Jurassic Periods at American Museum of Natural History”

Tim was still at a loss for what had made you cry, and then he saw the ‘small token of their gratitude.’

A check.

For $10,000.

Both you and Tim were sobbing. Loudly.

You could not believe it, because that would cover so much more than you could have ever imagined, and neither of you were quite sure what you did to earn such a thoughtful and extremely generous gift. You wanted to thank Jerry, but you had no idea where he ran off to, and you two were so overwhelmed by the gift that neither of you had the strength to move.

Little did you know that Jerry had watched Tim walk back in his office and was outside the door hearing how happy you were, and his heart swelled up.

You took the monthly picture, tears still streaking down your cheeks. You looked ethereal, despite the tears.

[Seven Months]

Officially within your third and final trimester, things were getting down to the wire. You had stopped all the various side-effects of pregnancy, and all that was left was the constant sluggishness. Tim did not want you drinking too much caffeine, so he cut back as well. You were constantly having the energy sucked out of you, but Tim kept going a mile a minute, somehow, considering the boy lived off of tea and the occasional coffee if he really needed it. You assumed it was nervous jitters knowing how close you two were getting to meeting the little one.

You had arrived at the museum early, and Tim had gotten all of his paperwork done the day before so he could spend the day walking around the museum with you, seemingly with a plan in mind.

Every time you would arrive at a new exhibit, Tim would drop down to his knees, and he would gently lay his head down onto your belly. Then he would start talking. Anything he could say about the exhibit – reading the signs, spewing random bits of knowledge here and there, whatever he could think of. After he did this about four times, you stopped him and asked him just what it was he was doing.

“I’m talking to her.”

You just looked at him sweetly, almost tearing up at the sentiment.

“Gotta start her early, don’t I? Can’t have her being into mathematics like her mother.”

And then came the eye roll. You almost did not let him take the picture that night because of that little gripe at your job.

[Eight Months]

It was hard for the two of you to believe you were down to the last potential thirty days, but you were already there. The two of you were both planners, so every single thing that could be accounted for was already accounted for – she had a room, clothes, diapers, everything. The two of you went and took your monthly picture, wondering if you would get to take another one, when it hit Tim that the two of you missed something crucial in your planning.

“Oh shit.” “What?”

“We don’t have a name yet.”

“Oh shit.”

Sitting down on the bench looking into the exhibit, you both thought about it for a while, throwing out ideas neither of you liked. Just to put something out there and maybe draw inspiration. Then Tim suggested another two names, and instantly you knew they were the ones. Both of you were old fashioned, and you knew you were going to get some comments about it, but it did not matter.

This was your daughter, and you could name her whatever you damn well pleased.

[Eight Months and Twenty-Two Days, June 11]

It was so much pain.

So much more pain than you expected.

But dammit, you were going to meet your daughter today, and that was that.

You honestly could not even remember the drive to the hospital, but the next thing you knew, you were in a hospital gown with a doctor telling you that you were nine centimeters dilated and that the pushing would start soon. Despite everything you told him was going to happen, Tim was right by your side gripping your hand like a vice, with an expression on his face that made the doctors think he was in as much pain as you were.

But it went quicker than you thought it would. That final centimeter happened quick, and everyone in the room was on you in an instant to coach you through the pushing. You only had to push for about 15 minutes and then you heard it.

Small but powerful cries, indicating that the baby was here and healthy.

Immediately she was on your chest and they were starting to clean her up, and then they took her over to the crib to wrap her. You were still catching your breath when you saw Tim walk over to you, bundle in his hands, him sobbing with joy.

“She’s—”

“Gorgeous.”

The nurse came over to the both of you with a clipboard after a few minutes, now that both of you had calmed down lightly.

“Alrighty. So, we have a healthy baby girl, born June 11 at 4:49am, weighing 6.1 ounces and measuring 20 inches in length. We have all the other stuff taken care of, we just need to know if she has a name yet.”

“She does.” Tim looked so proud that he was the one who got to say it for the official birth certificate.

“Agnes Eloise Murphy.”

The nurse smiled, double checked the spelling, and walked off to file it. You were just gazing at him with almost a hint of fear in your tired expression, because something the nurse had said threw you off a bit.

“Timmy…”

“Hm?” He was still gazing down at Agnes, not really mentally with you at that moment.

“Do you realize what today is? What her birthday is?”

“I do.”

“And you’re okay?”

“Of course I am. I will never have to remember the horror of Jurassic Park on this day any longer, she is a distraction from that nightmare, she is a living, breathing dream come true.”

[One Month Birthday]

Agnes turned one month old, and neither of you could believe it. Other than doctor’s appointments, she had not left your apartment. You both decided that she could make one exception, and Tim was more than eager to take her to the place where he found out she would be coming into this world.

The two of you took her around the entire place, and ended at the exhibit where all the pregnancy photos were taken.

“You don’t know it yet, but this place has a lot of special meaning to mommy and daddy, and you too. We’ll tell you all about it when you’re older, lovebug.” Tim spoke to his daughter the same way he did when she was still in your belly and it made you melt. You knew it from the moment you laid eyes on her that she was going to be a daddy’s girl.

As he spoke to her, she smiled and placed a hand right atop the scar adorning Tim’s cheek. She laughed for the very first time.

“I told you she’d love them.”

When you look back down, you can see her enthusiastically swinging around the small dinosaur plush toy you had given her as a first stuffed animal. You smiled and looked back up at Tim, not believing how precious she was.

“And a dinosaur lover just like her dad, too.”

“Told you we had to start her early, keep her away from the numbers.”

Permanent Taglist: @bensrhapsody @chlobo6 @gardnerlangway @xtrashmammalstefx @bohemiandeakyy

Tim Murphy Taglist: @drtimmurphy

Specific Fic Taglist: @70sdeakys

// If you want to be added to either taglist mentioned above, or the one for another character I’ve written for, send me an ask here! //

#tim murphy #tim murphy x reader #jurassic park #joe mazzello #joe mazzello x reader #pregnant reader #photography #fic #fanfiction #fluff #pregnancy #some angst

107 notes · View notes