#gods imagine being able to speak multiple languages and just being that cool???

[crazywolf828]

My gf desperately trying to get me to understand Spanish: so the double L makes a Y sound

Me, immediately and without hesitation: Ah yes, like llama

[ddarker-dreams]

That last ask got me thinking! How would the bucci gang react to meeting SR reader's family? Not all of them but like a visiting grandparent(who is likely very unaware their precious grandchild is working with the mob to pay off awful debts-which reader would like to keep that way), but like who's falling all over themselves to impress said relative, who would be subtly trying to get their blessing to date reader, what shenanigans would reader the gang go to keep this person in the dark??

ohhh what an interesting situation!!! some of them would definitely handle it better than others...

Here’s the general concept! Reader’s grandparents are coming to pay their granddaughter a visit in Naples, under the impression she’s been studying there the past few years. Reader has asked some of the members of her team to further validate her story. I imagine everyone as trying to actively court Reader to some extent during this. :’)))

Bruno Bucciarati; 

Bruno is a revered member of the community. Any of the troublesome details of his Passione involvements would be lost in translation, so you figured he’s a safe bet. He’s also the member who is most familiar with your situation. While he speaks under the pretense of being professional, he would love to have that connection with your family for... any future possibilities. Marriage possibilities. 

He spots you in a mild state of panic, and boasting the compassionate heart he has, is led to ask if you want to talk to him about it. When you explain that some of your foreign family is coming to visit, he can immediately read between the lines. You need to play this part perfectly. He’ll offer to accompany you on one of his less busier days, willing to do whatever it is that’d help. 

The language barrier doesn’t matter too much! Bruno is still a gentlemen. Opening doors for them, pulling out their chairs, offering to pay for any of your meals... he’s very kind. Your grandparents are going to be quite fond of him by the end of your day together. All according to his plan. 

Unfortunately for you, Bruno is going to be offering lots of praise that he fully expects you to translate. It’s a bit embarrassing how genuine he’s being. Speaking about how hard a worker you are, how nothing gets in your way, stuff like that. Your face is on fire as you translate the heartfelt compliments. You end up toning them down a bit for your sake. 

“[First] is one of the most reliable people I know. You should take pride in having helped bring up someone like her. I promise I’ll continue to look after her, you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Ahh... Bucciarati, do I really need to tell them that...?” 

Giorno Giovanna;

He speaks some English! Giorno did well in his classes at school, so he can understand the basics. Having a knowledge of multiple languages in his position is also a benefit, so he never fully stopped studying it. Though he’d prefer not to mess up any of the pronunciation in front of you. He’ll be practicing in secret as not to embarrass himself, and definitely thinks this is a great opportunity to get closer to you. It’s a shame he can’t take full advantage of it, but he’s going to try to. 

Giorno hasn’t really had any positive family interactions, but he’s still good with people. Unfortunately, in his new position, he’s extremely busy. He still tries to make time for you when he can, but won’t be able to hang out with the three of you as much as he’d like to. He does find the time to come to the airport with you, under the pretense that a lot of shady business goes on there. He wouldn’t want your family being scammed. Don’t ask how he knows about this...

The entire car ride to their hotel will be filled with pleasant conversation. Giorno is a natural at reading the room, and backs your story up to perfection. Any potential discrepancies are covered up with ease. He came in for a clean save at least once or twice when you made a mistake, and you couldn’t thank him enough after.

Giorno isn’t going to want to pry into your personal life, but would be highly amused over any stories they tell him. Even though it’s only a forty minute drive, he enjoyed his time a lot more than he expected to, learning some new things about you in the process. You’re a bit frazzled over the person who is technically your boss (even if he’s not big on formalities...) knowing about your embarrassing childhood stories. He finds it endearing. :’)

He’s gonna bring it up afterwards during a casual discussion, sporting a little devious smile. 

“So, [First], do you want to tell me about that time you got stuck in a swing set again? It seems quite unlike you.” 

“God... I can’t believe they told you that. I was hoping you wouldn’t understand it well.”  

Guido Mista;

Oh no.

You’re going to have to explain to him that a few changes will need to occur if he is to meet your grandparents. For one, he needs to take a shower. Two, he needs something that at least covers his midriff. If there conditions are met, you’ll allow it. He is not missing out on this opportunity to win you over, so he’s surprisingly amiable to these conditions, ready to do his best to make a good impression. You’ve never see him so agreeable.

You do have to keep reminding him of the story that you’re sticking to. Mista makes a few mistakes here and there, but manages to laugh it off. Since you’re going to be translating a majority of his sentences it’s not a big deal. That doesn’t mean he won’t at least try to say a few words in English... results varying. 

The most difficult part is trying to ignore the Pistols, who are swarming around in excitement. They keep speaking to your grandparents like they can hear them. Asking for embarrassing stories, to know about your past partners, or for any cute childhood photos of you. Mista struggles to keep a composed look when all this is happening.  

“Say, [First]. Your grandparents... they aren’t Stand users, are they?”

“No, Mista. My grandparents aren’t Stand users.” 

To be honest, you weren’t too sure if Mista tagging along for some sightseeing would be the best idea. It goes a lot better than you expected. Some of his comments that you translate actually get your grandparents laughing! What a miracle, he’s gonna be grinning ear to ear. Mista is just a lovable guy. 

He is going to 100% try and sneak in a question about your relationship status when you’re not paying attention. Mista has to make sure you’re still on the market. B) 

Pannacotta Fugo; 

He’s actually your go to for this situation. It couldn’t be a better setup. Fugo is intelligent, can speak English the most fluently out of everyone in your team, and would be a big help for sightseeing. As soon as he heard about your grandparents visiting, he knew it was only a matter of time until you came to him for help. At first, he was intent on politely turning you down, but god... how can he? You’re too cute, looking at him like that, saying you need his help. Fuck, he’s so whipped for you lmao. 

Fugo is the most anxious about it. What if your grandparents don’t like him? What if he accidentally says something offensive? Or even worse, what if he blows your cover, and you hate him forever? He’s gonna being shutting himself in his room, refreshing his English nonstop. You have to admire his dedication. 

When the time finally comes, it goes a lot smoother than he anticipated. There’s no humiliating himself in front of you like he feared. Fugo is a bit stiff at first, but with your help, begins to ease up. He’s an amazing tour guide! Fugo knows the best places to go, what times they’ll be busy, the historical and cultural significance of every place, etc. When he starts talking about trivia you can tell he’s in his element. 

It’s going so well. That is, until your grandma says you have such a nice boyfriend. Fugo’s entire face goes beet red. If only. 

“A-ah, Mrs. [Last], we’re not dating, actually.” 

“We aren’t, but... you’re right. Fugo is amazing, isn’t he? There’s nothing he can’t do. I appreciate him a lot.” 

On that day, Pannacotta Fugo’s soul ascended. He legitimately cannot stop thinking about this. For you, his crush of many years, to compliment him so genuinely? Fugo.exe has stopped responding .

Narancia Ghirga;

He kinda invites himself along? Narancia is giving himself a bunch of pep talks, thinking of all the things he can say. His train of thought is that if he speaks English well, it’ll impress you! There’s nothing he wants more in this world than for you to think he’s cool and reliable. The problem is that most of his knowledge of English is only from music. So he’s more familiar with vulgarities than anything else. 

You’re understandably hesitant to allow Narancia to tag along. Then he makes the solid point to you that Aerosmith’s radar would come in handy, detecting any potential threats. Narancia is going to be sporting the brightest smile when you concede and say he can come with you, practically vibrating with excitement. He promises that you won’t regret picking him. 

The place he picks to go is a local pizzeria. In his opinion, the pizza you’ve spoken of back home is an insult to humanity. Naples style is the only way to go. He insists on letting your grandparents try “real” pizza, as opposed to whatever your country has. 

Narancia reminiscences about a lot of your past stories together. Nothing that has incriminating undertones, just casual stuff from your years of knowing one another. You’re almost surprised by how he’s remembered all of this. He can’t help it, any time spent with you has been forever imprinted into his mind. 

“So, there was this one time we spent hours looking for [First]’s lost wallet. Come to find out that she just left it in the glove department after we spent the entire evening searching for it. And then--” 

“Narancia, do you have to bring that up? It’s so embarrassing...” 

Leone Abbacchio; 

You’re going to have to pull out some incredible arguments to get him to come along with you. He’s going to say no before you even get the chance to ask, already sensing what it is you’re going to say. So be ready to break out some Ace Attorney level stuff or it’s no dice. He’s already offering special treatment by even letting you try to convince him, anyone else would’ve been shooed away. He has a big soft spot for you :’)...

The most you’ll get him to agree to is one dinner. That’s it. Abbacchio has a lot of baggage with him, and doesn’t think highly of himself. To be honest he’s wondering why you’re even relying on him here. It’s strange, since he appreciates the trust you must have for him, but also doesn’t think it’s deserved. 

He cleans up well. Abbacchio is going to take this occasion very seriously. For most of the dinner he listens to you speaking, rarely offering input unless he finds it necessary. When he does speak he’s more polite than you’ve ever heard him though. You almost wondered if it was Abbacchio who was speaking, and not some imposter. So he is capable of having manners when he wants to... 

He’ll also pay for the dinner, much to your surprise. Will insist on it even. Abbacchio tells you to let them order whatever desserts/wine they want. He’s pulling all the stops to make a good impression. 

“Abba, you really didn’t have to do all that. Please at least let me reimburse some of it.” 

“Would you stop bringing it up already...? They’re your family, so it’s only natural I’d take care of them.” 

Trish Una; 

As the only non Passione member on this list, Trish is an excellent choice! Her singing career is really starting to take off. Your family will find her to be impressive. You’ll have to think of a story for how the two of you are familiar with one another. You can’t very well say you used to be her bodyguard protecting her from assassins lmao.  

Since she needs to travel a lot to different venues for her career, Trish’s English is steadily improving. She’ll normally text you for help if anything is particularly challenging. The biggest challenge would be aligning your schedules together, at the same time they’re visiting. Trish has a way of making time for you. 

One of the things Trish loves to do is give gifts from her travels. So she’ll show up with some little souvenirs for them. It’s a very heartfelt gesture that they appreciate, and she even gives you a gift or two. The queen of good impressions. 

Throughout the years, Trish has managed to gather a sizeable collection of selfies from when you’ve spent time together. At some of her albums release parties, trips to the beach, the times you’ve travelled together. She’s going to have a lot of fun going through her hundreds of photos of you and showing them. 

“Trish, you almost need a SD card for all of these. Just how many pictures of us do you have?”

“Oh, this is just the beginning, [First]. I have a whole other album of when we went to Milan last spring.” 

[qqueenofhades]

i noticed that you like to write a lot of heartrender husbands from fedyor’s side of things (which makes sense cause fedyor is fun!) but i have to ask in the modern au, what was ivan thinking the whole first two months 😂??

like was he carrying the joke the whole time? did his brain short circuit around fedyor?? was he worried about what fedyor was thinking or did he just think he was shy? Did he think the first date went well ☠️?

This was supposed to be lighthearted, but then there came Feels. So here is Ivan's backstory in Phantomverse. Content warning for mentions of an abusive relationship, familial homophobia, implied sexual manipulation, and dark themes. Nothing graphic, but duly noted.

Also on AO3.

Brighton Beach, 2015

It’s safe to say that Ivan Ivanovich Sakharov Kaminsky did not ever, not in a thousand years, not in a million, imagine himself ending up here. At one point, even Moscow would have been a stretch, and that was obviously still Russia. The fact that he would be walking down a sidewalk in Brooklyn, under the elevated tracks of the Q train that rattles and bangs overhead, on a cool spring morning to do his shopping at the Brighton Bazaar – in, should this somehow not be clear, America – and then returning to his apartment and his husband is, quite frankly, something out of an alternate-Ivan timeline. One from the Twilight Zone, or whatever they are calling that kind of thing these days. Sometimes when he thinks about it too much, he gets afraid that it is in fact a dream. That no matter how long it has gone on and how good it has been, it will suddenly and inevitably end. After all, he is Russian. Sunny optimism has never been accused of forming a notable facet of the national character, and Ivan himself would never be described as the hopeful type. But God, for this, he does.

He reaches the bazaar – a bustling blue-awninged international supermarket with three-quarters of its signs written in Cyrillic – and steps inside, grabbing a basket and pulling a scrap of paper from his pocket to double-check his list. He knows what he needs, but he likes the tidiness of writing it down, and he proceeds into the crammed aisles, passing customers speaking English, Russian, Ukrainian, Uzbek, Yiddish, and several other languages he can’t identify by ear. Brighton Bazaar stocks all the Russian products necessary to satisfy even a homesick expat like Ivan, and he enjoys being able to navigate the store with ease and read all the labels at first glance. He can get by in English, if he’s pressed, but it’s easier to leave it to Fedyor, who is fluent, and in here, he can conjure the illusion that he will walk out on the street and be back where he truly belongs. He likes Brighton Beach a great deal more than he ever expected to, but it’s no replacement for the real thing.

Ivan collects his purchases, along with a few special extras, and takes them to the counter. He is greeted in Russian by the checkout clerk, who knows him well for always turning up at the same time every Saturday morning with military precision. As Semyon Pavlovich Kuznetsov (who is called Syoma by his friends, but he has not clearly stated that Ivan can use the diminutive and therefore Ivan does not) scans his items, Ivan consents to exchange a few gruff words of small talk on the weather (nice) how the Mets did last night (badly) and the old guy who apparently died of a heart attack two days ago in the Russian bathhouse on Neck Road (making Ivan glad he did not choose said day to attend). It’s this weird Russian-American hybrid of things, since Semyon is the teenage grandson of a Red Army veteran who fought at Stalingrad, but he was born and raised in Brooklyn, loves American video games, and is fully fluent in American pop culture. It startles Ivan to realize that while this kid speaks Russian perfectly, he has probably never done so in Russia outside of a few visits back to the old country when his family can afford it. That is a very personal question to ask one’s grocery clerk, however, and he does not.

And then there’s that other thing, which he would definitely never be asked in Russia, especially not these days. Semyon hits the button to tally up Ivan’s bill, informs him that he owes $56.77, and then says cheerily, “How is Fedyor?”

Ivan concentrates on digging the exact amount out of his wallet in cash, since he never had a credit card when he lived in Russia and is still somewhat leery of them. “Fedyor is fine,” he says curtly, in the tone that makes it clear that he understands this question is an expected part of an American social interaction, but that is all the information he is willing to venture. “Here is the money.”

Semyon accepts it, counts it into the till, and rings the transaction through, handing Ivan his bags and his receipt. “Have a nice day, Mr. Kaminsky!”

“Thank you, Semyon Pavlovich.” Ivan accepts his purchases and leaves the store, taking a deep breath of the salty, sunny air and the wind whipping off the seafront. It’s still a little too early in the year for there to be many bathers on the beach, though there are always people strolling on the boardwalk. It’s only a few minutes to the apartment, which is just off Brighton Beach Avenue and overlooks the Atlantic Ocean. Ivan buzzes into the old brownstone, takes the stairs to the third floor, and as he unlocks his front door and lets himself in, wonders, yet again, at the sheer impossibility that his life has led him here.

Ivan is the third of five boys, but he was the one who was named after his father. It was not, of course, because they had some special hope for him to be the great inheritor of paternal pride, but a simple matter of logistics. His oldest brother, Roman, was named after their paternal grandfather. His second-oldest brother, Oleg, was named after their maternal grandfather. When Ivan arrived, only then was it proper to name him after Ivan Romanovich, Ivan Sakharov senior, since rushing too fast to glorify yourself as an individual, rather than your community and your ancestors, could be seen as running contrary to the collectivist ideals of the great Soviet Union. By the time his two younger brothers arrived, his parents were hard pressed for ideas; Yuri (for Gagarin) and Vladimir (originally for Lenin, though that has obviously acquired a different connotation those days) were clearly obtained by putting the names of national heroes into a hat and picking.

Five children was quite a lot for a Soviet-generation family, and Ivan doesn’t know anyone else his age with that number of siblings. After all, more children meant more time standing in line at Municipal Grocery Store #5 for food that has to be shared among more mouths, more worries about how to clothe and educate and accommodate them, more chances for one of them to go terminally astray and betray the family honor. Ivan wonders sometimes if his parents only really wanted Roman and Oleg, but decided to keep going as a matter of gaming the system, so much as it was able to be gamed.

By the early 1980s, the aging, decrepit, dying USSR, run by aging, decrepit, dying men, was in the grip of a demographic crisis so extreme that it was a contest between worrying about which one would end them faster: crazy President Reagan with his finger on the nuclear button, or the whole country just keeling over of old age. The idea of what a family even meant had been under constant challenge since the heady days of the Bolsheviks, who denounced marriage as a construct of bourgeoisie oppression and preached for free love and sexual liberation. Then it went hard back in the other direction during Stalin and the Great Patriotic War, holding up the traditional nuclear family as the highest ideal and offering rewards to mothers who had multiple children. Then it lurched away again. Abortion and contraception had been legal and freely available since the days of the revolution and most Soviet women made good use of them. Plus, of course, the obvious difficulties of maintaining a sizeable family when it was increasingly impossible to obtain even basic supplies and foodstuffs. It just made no sense.

Desperately trying to counter this slide toward self-inflicted obsolescence, the late-stage USSR came up with a number of incentives to boost the birth rate by any means necessary. They allowed mothers to refuse to list fathers on the birth certificate, to avoid social shame if he was married, foreign, a drunkard, or otherwise unsuitable, and beefed up programs to support single women with children. They also went back to the old-school plan of granting extra stipends, housing privileges, and state recognition to families that had more than two children, and Ivan himself was the third of his. It doesn’t take a genius to deduce that he was almost surely conceived for the tax benefits.

Not, that is, that it didn’t work. When Ivan was born in 1984, the family lived in a tiny apartment on the tenth floor of a building with no elevator (or rather it did have an elevator, but it was always broken), crowded in with three single young men who were at the very bottom of the list for being assigned housing. By the time his youngest brother, Vladimir, was born in 1987, they had been moved to a small house of their own on the outskirts of Krasnoyarsk, not far from the bus that his father took two hours a day out to the mine. The cynical old joke in the USSR was that the people pretended to work and the government pretended to pay them, though in Ivan Romanovich’s case, the work was backbreakingly real, even if the money wasn’t. He would come home exhausted and filthy after a sixteen-hour shift and yell at Galina Sakharova to feed him, bark at his sons, and then fall asleep in front of the television, only to get up the next morning and shuffle off again.

Ivan Ivanovich has spent a lot of time after he left home trying to understand what that kind of life would do to a man, mostly because he didn’t do it while he was there. Of course he didn’t. He was a child, and it was simply what he was used to, the only way the world could possibly be. On the night of December 26, 1991, as Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev signed the United Soviet Socialist Republics out of existence with a single stroke of the pen, Ivan remembers his father crying and swearing and throwing things at the wall, the heavy yellow-glass ashtray that always seemed unbreakable, perched on the kitchen table to collect the detritus of his constant cigarettes, smashed to bits just like their country, their sense of self, their security. It wasn’t as if life in the USSR was so wonderful. It was just the only thing they knew. Beyond that, there was nothing but the terror of the utterly unknown.

At any rate, the world didn’t end. The oligarchs moved in and began snapping up Russia’s newly privatized economy. Ivan Ivanovich, of course, had no goddamn clue about this either, aside from overhearing his father curse about it some more. He trudged through secondary school and left at eighteen, without even trying to proceed onto university. Those weren’t for someone like him, he knew that. Instead he got a job at the ever-troubled Krasnoyarsk Aluminum Plant, and went straight to work on the factory floor.

It was around this time that the one disruption in his otherwise humdrum life, the one thing that stopped him from just settling into the same miserable existence as his father and going on like that forever, became too impossible to ignore. And that was the fact that no matter how much Ivan tried to squash it down, push it aside, or otherwise pretend it didn’t exist, he could no longer deny the fact that he was attracted to men, and only to men. He bought some of the cheap porn magazines from the tabak, tried to flip through them and get something out of the girls in heavy eyeliner and bleached-blonde hair, spilling out of their scanty lingerie, and just… didn’t. He wasn’t even interested enough to try a conversation with a real flesh-and-blood woman (not that Ivan had ever gotten through a conversation with another human being, especially a woman, without disaster) and see if it was different in the flesh. Nothing about the experience, even imagining it, appealed to him at all. But men…

He knew it wasn’t right, just because – well, you knew that sort of thing, you didn’t have to ask about it, you didn’t let on. But nonetheless, something, somehow, must have given him away, because one evening after the end of his shift, one of his coworkers cornered him in the back. His name was Konstantin and he was a few years older, big and bluff and constantly smelling like machine oil. He stood there, folded his arms, and said, “I will give you five hundred rubles if you suck my dick, Ivan Ivanovich.”

Ivan didn’t know how to answer. He had never spoken to Konstantin about anything aside from the job. He didn’t like him, he wasn’t attracted to him, and he didn’t want his filthy fucking rubles. He wanted to go home and take a shower.

And yet. He wanted to know. So when he went home, it was with five hundred rubles in his pocket, and a strange, indefinable feeling of something both excitement and shame. He looked it up later and found that it was barely seven American dollars, barely enough to buy a sandwich in this place he now lives. Then after that it became – not a relationship, not exactly. But he had done it once and Konstantin knew that he was at least theoretically willing, and there was no getting away from it now. Soon enough it became something of a regular thing, and then Konstantin wanted to try other stuff and not always pay, and if Ivan ever protested, Konstantin would threaten to get him fired from the factory or tell his family what they were doing. Ivan knew that he couldn’t let this happen, and besides, this was a relationship, or so he would tell himself. It was rough and it wasn’t very enjoyable and he didn’t like the way it made him feel, but it was probably the best he was going to get, here in this place, so he had no choice but to put up with it.

Until one night when his older brother came to pick him up from work, which he didn’t usually do. Something about it set off Ivan’s alarm bells, but he got into Roman’s battered old Zhiguli anyway. They didn’t head back toward the house. Instead they headed for the country, the narrow, crumbling road that led into the vast forests of Krasnoyarsk Krai. The city was often voted one of the most beautiful in Siberia, surviving even its long periods of grim industrialization with something of its soul intact. It wasn’t as cold as Yakutsk or Oymyakon, the places where it stayed at sixty below zero all winter long and boiling water froze when you tossed it out the window. Winters only got down to a few degrees below, and in Russia, that was par for the course. Ivan loved his hometown, and he was used to the outdoors. He was a sportsman, a natural athlete. He played hockey, bandy, football, rugby, and basketball (surprisingly popular in Russia). He swam and boxed. He was tall and tough and muscled and most people never bothered him. But when the car coasted to a halt in the middle of nowhere and Roman turned off the headlights, he was still terrified.

His brother said, “I hear you’re doing things, Vanya.”

Ivan didn’t answer.

“I hear you’re doing things with men.” Roman reached over and grabbed him violently by the shoulders, pinning him against the seat. “Disgusting things. I will not have one of those in the family, do you hear me? Do you hear me? If I find out that you have done it ever again, even once, I will make sure that you pay the price. Are you listening? Say that you understand.”

“Yes,” Ivan said. “I understand.”

What he really understood was that he was going to leave, when he had barely been out of Krasnoyarsk Krai in his life. Going as far as Novosibirsk for a shopping trip was unusual, and once, in school, he went to Georgia, which was the first time he had left the country (though of course, it used to be the country). But he knew that he could not stay here anymore, and in a moment of welcome serendipity, that was also when his conscription notice arrived. At the time, every Russian man over the age of eighteen had to serve two obligatory years in the armed forces (though it has since been lowered to one, of which Ivan does not necessarily approve), and his number had come up. So he quit his job, did not say goodbye to Konstantin or tell him where he was going, packed his few boxes of things, and moved four thousand kilometers and four time zones west to Moscow.

Ivan arrived in the capital trying not to present himself as a wet-behind-the-ears country boy, to act like he knew what he was doing, to show he was much tougher and meaner than any of these spoiled, pampered little children whining about how hard it was when they trudged into headquarters and presented their army notices. In that, he had a genuine advantage; he had worked hard for his whole life, he had already been through whatever could possibly endured with a father and four brothers, and he found the strict routines, harsh discipline, and predictable tasks of the army comforting. Everyone was scared of him, he didn’t need to try (though he did), and that was also gratifying. He worked hard and pleased his commanders, who tried to entice him to stay on as a full-time professional serviceman. There were many opportunities for a man of his talents, and more money than Ivan had ever dreamed of. As for his personal life, as long as he was scrupulously discreet and kept turning in good results, they would not trouble to enquire too closely. That was already better than from what he had expected with Konstantin. Once again, he thought it would be the best he got.

That was where, therefore, he met Aleksander Ilyich Morozov.

Morozov was his opposite in many ways – rich, well-spoken, well-educated, the son of a legendary KGB commander and the inheritor of comfort and privilege even in the lean last days of the USSR. He was about Ivan’s own age, but he had a self-possession and a gravitas that made him seem older. He had started training for a career in the Russian security services practically from childhood, and he had pegged Ivan as a particularly promising recruit. “You should come with me,” he said. “We would find an excellent career for you.”

Ivan was never sure how to respond when Morozov started talking like this. He admired the man and was admittedly attracted to him – not just the dark, elegant handsomeness, but the manifest air of being a person who mattered, who made the rest of the world sit up and take notice and play by his rules – and while he knew that Morozov was ruthless, he wasn’t bothered by that and was willing to do the same when it was called for. Ivan didn’t see the world as some nice candy fairy place where good deeds were always rewarded and violence was always wrong, not least since he knew full well that it didn’t work like that. He didn’t have time for these idiots who thought they would get out there and hold hands and change the world with the power of sunshine and kisses or whatever it was. He didn’t.

Then there was one night when Morozov was at Ivan’s apartment, and they had been drinking and making big plans for ruling the world behind the scenes, and Ivan forgot himself entirely and leaned over the table and kissed him. He tried to pull back almost at once, but Morozov didn’t resist. In fact, he leaned in and put a hand behind Ivan’s head and kept him there, and in that moment, Ivan knew that while this might not be personally objectionable for Sasha (his sexuality was undiscussed but evidently fluid), that wasn’t the reason he was going along with it. It was because he knew instinctively that it was a perfect way to control Ivan, to harness his attraction and his weakness and his willingness to go along with whatever Sasha wanted, and in that, despite all the big plans they had put together and the way Ivan had dreamed of his life changing, it was just Konstantin all over again, and Ivan was straight back at the factory on his knees, small and cornered and powerless. It was visceral and it was wrong and it wasn’t the best he would ever do and he wasn’t, he wasn’t taking that.

They pulled back and Sasha made an enquiring noise, like he wanted to know if Ivan was interested in sealing the deal, and instead Ivan ordered him to leave right now, get out. That was the end of their friendship; they never spoke to each other again, and when his third year in the army ran out, which he had already taken voluntarily, he left. He got a job at some Moscow industrial plant and it was there, through the friend of a friend, he met Nadia Zhabina. And it turned out that she was queer (the first time he had ever heard the word spoken in a good way, something he wanted to be, something he didn’t mind accepting, rather than as an attack), and it turned out after that that she had a friend she wanted him to meet, only it clearly meant that she thought they should go out. Like. On a date.

Ivan flatly shut her down. He did not date, he did not want to date, he did not think he would be good at dating, he did not want to meet some pansy city boy from Nizhny Novgorod who he would immediately dislike, and he was not going to do it, the end. Only Nadia really seemed disappointed, and maybe it was not the worst thing to try a little. This would backfire terribly, he would get over it, and move on with his life.

In Ivan’s opinion, the first date with Fedyor Mikhailovich Kaminsky was, at least on his own behalf, a modest success. He was unavoidably late, thanks to the bus running behind schedule, but he introduced himself, his hobbies, and made it clear what sort of person he was and what he was interested in. He even sent a polite follow-up text with an invitation to meet again. There. No questions, no confusion, everything very straightforward and clear. Nothing to complain about. That was how you did a date, yes?

It turned out, however, that Fedyor Mikhailovich was either very reticent, or perhaps confused, or maybe he did not even know that they had been on a date and Nadia had not clearly explained to him. Burned by his experiences at home, knowing how easily word could get out to the wrong people, Ivan did not want to bring up the subject explicitly, but he had to admit to a considerable confusion. Maybe Fedyor actually liked to just mince around Moscow city parks together, like something out of a Tolstoy novel, or to sit on his couch and watch bad American action movies together. (Later, Ivan learned that Die Hard is actually something of a cult classic, but it’s still slightly lost on him.) That wasn’t bad, because Ivan – to his great bafflement and wariness – liked spending time with him. Fedyor wasn’t like him at all, but they clicked nonetheless. He was the exact kind of idealistic activist that Ivan had long disdained, but it was different with him. When Fedya talked, he liked to listen, to dream about a world that really did work that way. It didn’t, but it felt closer.

Besides that, he was cute. He was well-put together. He was charming and vivacious and could talk to people that they met, while Ivan stood scowling with his hands in his pockets and wondered how long this was going to take. He really desperately wanted to kiss Fedya (and for that matter, do other things to him), and he found himself thinking about it a lot. But what if it was like with Sasha again, and it was either Ivan opportunistically taking it for himself, or Fedya selfishly trying to keep him there, to use him for his own purposes? Maybe Fedya was the idiot. He had to know they were together, right? Or were they together? Ivan suddenly wasn’t sure. Damn it! Why didn’t Fedyor subscribe to the school of just being clear about things? Ivan himself had nothing to do with the problem.

But then there came that night, and Fedya cooking dinner and stumbling through trying to ask him if they were maybe something, and in that moment, Ivan found it all so hilarious that the only thing he could do was sit there and let the whole thing play out. Then it turned out, of course, that they were together, and that Fedyor kissed him just as deliciously as Ivan had imagined, and maybe Nadia Zhabina was not so wrong after all.

Maybe she was not wrong in the least.

Ivan takes his supermarket bags to the sunny kitchen of the mostly-remodeled apartment and sets them down. Fedya has picked out all the colors and wallpapers and furniture and paint, and Ivan has done most of the work, since he is gainfully employed as a handyman and repair-person and he doesn’t want to pay some American to half-ass a job that he can do better. The apartment is really quite lovely now. The living room has been done in a pale, springy green, the white plaster moldings washed and repaired, all the junk of the previous owner finally cleared out except for one or two collectibles that they decided to keep. There’s a bookshelf and a desk filled with Fedya’s work things, a couch and a television and a coffee table and new curtains. The bedroom is big and airy, with a ceiling fan and new carpets. Framed pictures and art pieces hang on the wall. It looks like a place where real people live.

Ivan makes breakfast, cooking and stirring and brewing the coffee, and puts it all on a tray. It’s Saturday, so of course Fedya is still asleep, and Ivan pads through the apartment to the closed bedroom door, balancing the tray on his hip long enough to open it and cast a strip of light inside. It takes a moment, but Fedyor rolls over, groggy and tousled and very, very cute with his bed-headed dark hair and squinting eyes. “Vanya? What smells so good?”

“Happy birthday, my love.” Ivan sets the tray on the bedside table and leans down to kiss him, as Fedyor makes a happy humming sound and throws his arms around Ivan’s neck, cuddling against him like a barnacle. “I have made you breakfast.”

(His younger self was wrong, and he has never been so glad of it.)

(This was the best, this is the best, this was waiting for him, this kind of happiness could happen for him, and he is grateful beyond all words that he fought for it and believed it until it did.)

[pochitastan]

Do I Wanna Know?

songfic based on Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys

pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader

AN: this is my first posted fic so i'm sorry if it's shit. i try to make my fics inclusive and i know not all races blush or show red on their face but the song lyrics start that way so i'm sorry in advance. the effort i put into this is extraordinary im surprised i finished it.-

WARNINGS: LANGUAGE, slow burn, angst (not rlly), SMUT, unprotected sex, biting, overstimulation, light degradation, some choking, light bondage, he makes you cry lol, FLUFF- like wholesome shit? i really made myself feel even lonelier than i already do writing this.

word count- about 10k (this a whole ass book sorry) i don't have caps on purpose

i hope you guys enjoy this mess <3

"have you got color in your cheeks?"

"what?"you turn away from where- who - you were looking at and look at christa, meeting her worried gaze. She puts her hand on your forehead and sighs "are you feeling well y/n? you're burning up." you were completely fine physically, its your emotions making you heated. a foreign feeling was in your chest as you watched a new recruit sucking up to captain levi a little too obviously. "i'm fine christa, i'll be better once i get food in my system." she purses her lips and sighs "atleast let me get you a cool towel, i could use one myself." you curtly nod and turn back towards the scene before you.

do you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?

the new girl, sienna, stands on a chair that she claimed was "wobbly" and "dangerous" so she asked the captain to "keep a hand on her" so she could be steady as she dusts off the top of the bookshelves she was in front of. what an airhead. she was using levi's annual cleaning day to her advantage alright. you lazily mop the floor as you watch how his hand stays on her leg, the bottom half of his face covered with his go to white bandana. his usual bored expression is apparent in his eyes as they trail around his surroundings, meeting yours from a room away. you try to correct your glare and immediately look back down at your mop on the floor. you missed the way his lip quirks up, hidden beneath the mask. 

are there some aces up your sleeve? You weren't jealous, just pissed because of how unnecessarily loud sienna was being. you weren't thinking about what you would do if you were in her place-imagining his hand on your leg. no, you hate him because of how he holds himself with untouchable pride, acting like everyone is beneath him, how all the new recruits practically fan girl over "humanity's strongest." he's not all that. although he's older than you your kill count is quickly catching up to his, not to mention your untouchable skill when it comes to operating your ODM gear. although you two are at each other's necks, you have saved each other's lives on the battle field on multiple occasions- him saying something along the lines of "get your ass back up brat!" and you scolding him with "don't get lazy on me now asshole." no one dared speak to him like that- but when his life had almost ended seconds before, your words helped him snap back into battle mode. this "relationship" began when you first joined the scouts and sought out for him after your first exhibition outside of the walls. of course, this was before you knew how much of a douche the man really is. when you found him your conversation went something like this. "captain, i was wondering if you could teach me how to fight the way you do." "did you not pay attention in training?" "sir, i've seen some of the most dedicated soldiers i know have their limbs severed and be devoured before me. did they not pay attention in training, or were they just not as talented and gifted as you?" truthfully you thought he would smack you away right then and there due to the venom in your voice and blatant disrespect towards him. instead he narrows his eyes slightly "same time tomorrow, you better not be late, brat." you may not know it, but he took an interest in your bold personality, even though he knew it would end up pissing him off. have you no idea that you’re in deep? i’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week, how many secrets can you keep? your mind wonders to a week ago when the corps returned from a scouting mission in which countless lives were lost. you had seen a titan grab levi by the leg before you swiftly cut the giant baby down. he hid it well, but you saw his limp before he flew off. when you returned to base you couldn't find him anywhere "armin!" you ran towards the boy and he looked at you with wide eyes "y/n you're hurt!" he wasn't wrong. you had gotten your left forearm caught in a titan's jaw, luckily you were able to cut free before your limb was severed or broken- but your limb was still torn open from the titan's large teeth.  armin takes the towel used to wipe his sweat and wraps it around your arm "you need medical-"you interrupt him "armin wheres captain levi?" you needed to remind him of how you saved his life once again, you weren't going to check up on him. no, you didn't want to see how badly his leg was hurt or make sure he really made it back alive. the boy looks around and points to the base "he went inside i- i think he was injur-" "thank you!" you sprint inside finding him in an unused room wrapping his injured leg with gauze. "captain!" now that you're alone with him you don't really know what to do or say, so you settle on standing in the doorway. he abruptly turns to see you standing at the door holding a stained red towel on your injured arm. "shit- you need to go to the medical tent for that dumbass!" god you were pale- your y/e/c eyes were dull from blood loss and you were practically swaying in front of him. he stands- wincing as he puts weight on his bad leg- and pulls you inside closing the door behind him. he sits you on the bed and gets down on his good knee before you. "you don't have time to get back out there- you can barely stand" he pulls the towel from you and throws it on the floor behind him. "shit- what a mess" he curses as he gently grabs your arm- ripping the gauze with his teeth and wrapping your wound. you could hear his deep breathing as you watch him and you start to relax, slightly leaning forward as tiredness starts to overtake you. he finishes his wrapping- the gauze strategically put around your elbow to the palm of your hand. "levi." you can barely keep your eyes open due to the amount of blood you lost. he meets your gaze, his face so close your noses are practically touching. a foreign feeling blooms in your chest as you look at him, his face betraying his usual disinterested expression, instead his brows are furrowed, his usually downcast gaze now upturned in worry. he clenches his jaw, looking to the side, and his expression returns to it's normal calm state. you hesitantly bring your uninjured hand to his cheek and lean your forehead into his, closing your eyes. "i saved your ass once again." you hear him hum a deep chuckle and you feel his rough hand come over yours, pushing your cold touch into his face. he brings his other hand to your chin pulling you away to look at him. god his clothes were stained with your blood and guilt courses through you. your usual resolve falls as your eyes tear up. how embarrassing. you've never dropped your composure like this, years of emotional abuse allowing you to hide what you feel from your face easily. you're definitely suffering from severe blood loss. "still a pain in my ass even when i'm the one taking care of you." "you love it." you retort as you look away, trying to hide your tears and your face heats from his words. "why did you come here y/n?" his deep voice was monotone as usual, but his expression was soft. "i-" you look at him again and suddenly the two of you were leaning in. you closed your eyes and his lips were on yours. they were soft, softer than you had imagined. his hand stayed on yours while the other tangled in your hair. if you thought you were lightheaded before- what you were feeling now was on a whole new level. he pulls away, trailing his thumb over your bottom lip, his eyes following his finger's movements. god you were practically floating, your heartbeat was pumping rapidly in your chest, heat spreading all throughout your body and settling between your legs. your vision gets hazy and you blink struggling to maintain consciousness. levis eyes go wide and your vision goes black. you woke up the next day in the medical tent, levi no where in sight. cause there’s this tune i found that makes me think of you somehow and i play it on repeat until i fall asleep you snap back to reality. you hold up your injured arm. you had been avoiding him since then, trying(and failing) to convince yourself it was a dream you had due to the dangerous blood loss you experienced. even if it did happen it was only because the two of you were injured and not thinking straight. he would never be interested in you. suddenly you hear sienna yelp and fall back. you look back up and see levi holding her bridal style effortlessly. "oh captain! thank you you're so strong- oh" levi sets her down and rolls his eyes with a scowl, grabbing the duster from her hand and walking straight towards you. quickly, you look back at your mopping suddenly very interested in how shiny the wet floor looks. "cadet." his deep voice sends chills down your body and you subconsciously squeeze your thighs together to relieve the sudden heat in your core. you look up at him and see he's already looking down at you with an amused look in his eyes. "last i checked your assignment was to mop the floors correct?" duh. you fight the urge to roll your eyes. "correct sir." he pulls down his bandana and leans closer to you. in a voice just above a whisper he says "so why are you so distracted from your task?" you can't take your eyes away from his and your body flushes at his close proximity. he takes the mop from your hand, his calloused fingers grazing yours, and hands you the duster. "from now on you're in charge of dusting the underside of the tables and wiping down the trimming on the walls. maybe when you're on your knees you can learn a thing or two about finishing tasks."

spillin’ drinks on my settee

asshole! you swallow as anger blooms in your chest. how dare he tempt and tease you like this,first leading you on with a kiss and now making you get on your knees before him. you didn't know if you wanted to smack him or suck him off. a distant voice in the back of your head said imagine doing both. you know he's looking for a reaction. if he wants to tease you and push your limits, two can play at that game. you slowly get down on your knees before him, maintaining eye contact the whole way down. your heart beats rapidly in your chest and you try to ignore the fact that his cock is merely inches away from your mouth. "yes sir." you ignore the strong urge to look away from his eyes and down his body as he stares you down, his lips slightly parted. he lets out a breath and pulls his mask back up, leaving with the mop and moving upstairs. you let out the breath you were holding and sit back on your feet, running your hand through your hair. "here you go y/n! sorry it took me so long, eren and jean were arguing." christa hands you the wet towel and her eyes go wide "oh you really look dazed now, are you sure you're alright?" you bring the towel to your head "i guess i really am feeling a bit shaky." you can't stand him. 

do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?

you lazily chew your bread, pretending to be interested in the conversation your friends were carrying on at the table. tensions were high after a long day of cleaning and being critiqued by the captain. eren and jean were going on about something once again. you swear the two are always at each others necks, no doubt because of jean's jealousy towards eren due to how close he is with mikasa. "you're all talk! i don't care if you're a titan- i'll kick your scrawny ass right now!" jean yells and stands causing eren to reciprocate "oh i'd love to see you try horse face" things were getting ugly fast. "come on guys let's calm down now" reiner stands with them "back off reiner i don't need your help!" eren practically growls. this is serious if reiner can't stop their advances. you stand and move between the pair "that's enough. you two need to set your differences aside and learn when to quit." you put your arm against eren's chest and look at him. "fine." he huffs. you sigh and jean grumbles under his breath "pussy, i knew you wouldn't do shit, no wonder you let your mother get killed." ... oh no. eren snaps and charges, causing jean to swing. eren quickly grabs your injured forearm, and roughly pulls you out of the way from jean's blow. you fall to the floor and chaos ensues with everyone rushing in between the two. you wince in pain as your gauze starts turning red from your now opened wound. you stand as you hear steps rapidly coming down the stairs towards the group. "guys please- the captains coming" your pleads fall on deaf ears and you mentally curse yourself for not doing more to stop this. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" levi's cold voice booms through the room and everyone freezes.

sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay

eren and jean abruptly pull away from each other and everyone takes a step back. levi stands with hange behind him. the captain's voice is rough as he growls "have you two sons of bitches got any intelligence in those nonexistent brains of yours? not only did you shitheads ruin a meal you also decided to fuck up a perfectly clean room." he glances over everyone but his eyes fall on you. "cadet, why is your arm hidden?" shit... shit! you freeze. taking a deep breath you glare back at him, trying to telepathically curse him for pointing it out and tell him that it's not a big deal. wordlessly you pull your arm out from behind you. all eyes look at the gauze on your arm stained red with blood, which was now dripping on the floor. the captain takes a breath. then two. "its fine, it's not as bad as it looks-"gods your arm is throbbing "i was too rough on it and i should've let it heal more, this is my doing." the lie falls smoothly from your lips and you try not to wince at the silence. "no y/n, i won't let you cover for me." eren steps forward and you mentally scold him. "sir i was the one who hurt her. i must've grabbed her injured arm when i pushed her out of the way." you know what's about to happen and it appears your comrades do too. a moment of silence passes before levi steps towards eren and you pray mikasa won't try to kill the captain. eren's eyes go wide with fear and he steps back, stumbling into the now flipped table, causing him to fall to the ground. he crawls backwards, his eyes never leaving the captain's. it's almost as if you can read his thoughts, his mind replaying one phrase: not again. mikasa takes a step forward and you know that if you don't act now things will take a turn for the worse. just as levi raises his good leg to deliver a blow and mikasa reaches for her blades, you're next to the captain with your good hand on his shoulder. "if eren hadn't moved me i would've gotten hit. because of him i didn't have to kick jean's ass myself."you quirk a brow and glance over to jean, who currently looks like he's about to vomit "and you know his injuries would be far worse than mine." a moment passes before levi puts his leg down, redirecting his glare to the rest of the group. "fix it or i will." and just like that he leaves, hange shrugging at us before following behind him. 

baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

eren stands and cant meet your eye "im sorry y/n" you shake your head with a chuckle and give him a closed eye smile, causing him to look at you in confusion. "you did nothing wrong eren." the boy clenches his jaw and gives you a curt nod before moving to set the table back up. mikasa nods at you and you pray eren will one day realize how much this girl cares for him. "yeah, next time you guys fight we're not stepping in." connie says with a smirk "i kinda wanna see who'd win anyway." you and a few others laugh with him. you grab a towel from the cabinet and wrap it tightly around your arm to stop the bleeding as you lean against the counter and look at your blood on the floor. no wonder levi reacted the way he did, that clean freak must've been pissed about the mess your blood made. he didn't even spare you a look when you were next to him, he had no reaction to your touch on his shoulder. you curse under your breath, gods why did you care so much? just being near the guy pisses you off. you pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes. "he didn't look at the floor." armin stands in front of you. "what?" "he didn't notice the blood, he just looked at you." the boy seemed to be as surprised as you. you keep your face blank "what are you talking about?" armin ignores you and walks back to the others, leaving you alone once again.

crawlin’ back to you

it had been a few weeks since eren and jean's fight, each day dully passing as you sat out of the front lines due to your injury. since then your arm had healed enough to the point where you could use it again, in moderation of course. it is starting to scar and you can tell it will leave a gruesome mark behind, but you don't mind. although you were injured levi didn't go easy on you, giving you extra assignments like cleaning the stables or staying up late to re-mop the floors after your first attempt was "pathetic". yet even after ordering you around or ignoring you completely, he would always gently pull your arm to him and look it over before letting you do your tasks. what the hell is up with him? he was being unnecessarily cold and rude to you one minute then checking on your recovery the next. he never showed any inclination that he really cared- yet his touch was so soft and warm. you figured he was bitter towards you because of how you stopped him from hurting eren, maybe he saw your actions as disrespectful. you silence your thoughts as you sit at the table at which the scouts have their meetings. everyone was waiting for levi, eren, and hange to show. as if on cue the three come into the room, hange sitting at the head of the table and eren sitting at the opposite head. wait... why is eren sitting where levi usually sits? the only open seat was the one right next to you, to the right of eren. levi sits next to you and you give eren a confused look. levi didn't seem to mind where eren was sitting... weird. even reiner seemed to notice the seat change, raising a brow to you from his spot beside you. the meeting must be about the experiments hange has been using eren for, why else would levi trade his spot?

ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? cause i always do

the meeting went as usual, levi briefing us on the newest plan for returning to the walls and others offering up various information and ideas. levi passed the discussion over to hange and she started talking about her latest experiments on her titans and eren. after updating us she went into her usual rant on how she was inspired for these experiments and of course everyone knew this information already. usually levi was the one to suggest we change the topic or simply leaving the table, allowing us to follow, yet he sat to the left of you leaning his head against his hand, mirroring your position. you glance over to him and see he's already looking at you, his expression remains the same but he raises a brow when you make eye contact. he then turns his attention back to hange. you ignore how good he looks and turn your attention to the table, lazily tracing circles on the surface of the wood. you're caught up in your thoughts, zoning out into your own world when a finger lightly caresses your thigh. your hand freezes and you blink. did levi just touch your thigh? almost as if in response you feel him lazily trace his finger in circles leading to your upper thigh, mirroring what you did to the table moments before. you look around at everyone else at the table wondering if they could tell what was happening yet none of them were looking over to you, they're bored expressions showing no suspicion. you quickly glance to levi and see he looks stoic as ever, his attention appearing to still be on hange. how can he sit here and look so calm? his feather light touch moves further up your leg and you turn your head down to the table again, your cheeks heating up. how was no one else seeing this? damn this large ass table covering everything- even reiner couldn't see a thing. levi's touch was sending electricity all over your body, your core practically gushing at his teasing. he keeps on moving up your thigh, his circles dangerously close to your center, and you subconsciously part your legs, giving him more access. you don't notice how he wets his lips with his tongue, fighting off a small smirk. you swallow and as you do his finger runs over your clothed clit. you fight back a gasp causing your spit to go down the wrong pipe and you're sent into an embarrassing coughing fit, everyone's attention turning to you as you wave them off stuttering "sorry"'s and "i'm fine" in between coughs. for the first time in a while levi wants to laugh, he loves seeing you get worked up over his little teases, it amuses him. a selfish part of him wants to be the only one to get these reactions out of you, wanting to be the only one to have this affect on you. he'll think about those thoughts later. you finally get a hold of yourself and hange continues after you apologize for interrupting her. levis finger returned to your upper thigh and you mentally crossed your fingers hoping you would be able to control yourself if he tried that again. your mind was racing, imagining what you would do if no one else was here. oh how you wanted him to bend you over this table and pound you until you were crying- "are you ok y/n?"reiner whispers. levi's hand freezes and you immediately snap out of your thoughts. reiner was looking at you with his hand over yours on the table, his thumb lightly running over your knuckles. maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody knew, now i’ve thought it through it was no secret to levi, the looks the other men would give you and the many conversations your name and appearance were brought up in made him quickly realize how sought after you really are. your beauty was apparent to him, he often caught himself thinking of your smile or the cute way your eyebrows raise when you try not to laugh at the other cadets being stupid. your laugh is what he enjoys the most, it reminds him of his old friend isabel and the days he spent with farlan in the underground. regardless, he knew he'd be a fool to think he was the only one who thought this way about you, it was nearly impossible not to. you're brilliant but you were clueless when it came to other's attraction towards you. he'd often watch as you would laugh with other guys, your innocent touches and jokes easily being mistaken for flirting, ignoring the anger and jealousy he would feel as he wished he could drag you away from their lustful eyes. of course even reiner was apart of the y/n fan club. he takes his hand away from you and clenches his jaw, trying, and failing, to ignore reiner's hand on yours. you nod and pull both of your hands into your lap "i'm fine, thanks reiner." you chew the inside of your cheek hating how much you miss the captain's touch. your heart skips a beat when you replay how soft and sensual his touches were in your mind. no matter how hard you try you can't seem to shake him from your thoughts, even when other guys enter the picture he's always there. you need a damn break. the meeting finally ends and you abruptly get up, ignoring reiner's attempts at walking you to your room, and you don't notice how levi glares at reiner as you leave. crawlin back to you "alright! you should be good to go. i'm sorry i can't help the scarring-" "it's fine don't worry about it hanj! if anything it just makes me look bad ass." the woman laughs at the nickname you gave her and crosses her arms "you don't need a scar to do that, everyone remembers how you kicked bertolt's ass in your sparring match with him." you roll your eyes and the two of you laugh. you move your arm around freely for the first time in what feels like a while. you thank hange for watching over your recovery and leave her office, heading over to the girl's rooms for the night. "you're cleared already?" levi's voice freezes you in place. it's been a week since you last saw the captain one on one, him ignoring you completely unless he was assigning more trivial cleaning tasks. you let out an annoyed sigh and turn around. "yes, hange just gave the all clear." he's holding a small stack of papers in one hand and gestures for you to come closer with the other "let me see." 

so have you got the guts?

your frown deepens and you walk up to him, ignoring how his eyes follow you as you approach. you stand two feet away for good measure and hold your arm out in front of him. he gently grabs your wrist, pulling you closer, and turns his attention to your now scarred arm. you can't help but keep your eyes on his as his finger lightly traces the markings. he looks up at your face and you immediately turn your head away to the floor, hating the way your heart skips a beat. "it's healed up better than i thought it would." what the hell is wrong with you? it's like your whole body is set ablaze just from the tip of his finger. "y/n look at me." your eyes go wide and you face him. his mouth moves and your eyes are trained on his lips, not registering anything he's saying. been wonderin’ if your heart’s still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts "good girl." the words send electricity straight to your core and an audible gasp slips from your lips. your eyes go wide and your face feels so hot you swear you could cook an egg on it. you pull your arm away step back "w-what?" you stutter out. the captain looks at you with a confused and frankly judgemental look "i said relax, you look like you could hurl." you swallow and nod, a giggle slipping out. levi watches you as your giggles turn into a short coughing fit and he raises a brow in amusement. you really need to learn how to not choke on your spit. "sorry, i thought you said something else." this is so humiliating. you need to pull yourself together. why can't you keep your usual stone-faced facade around the captain? his eyes narrow and it's almost like you can see the gears turning in his head. your embarrassment shows on your face and you watch his eyebrows raise as he registers what you heard. "you thought i said good girl." he says taking a step forward. simmer down and pucker up, i’m sorry to interrupt its just i’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you you struggle to keep your composure as the man before you looks down at you, now so close you can feel his breath fan over your face. you cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes "tch, so what if i did." your usual poker face has returned, yet your heart pounds rapidly in your chest. the captain brushes a lose strand of your hair behind your ear and leans down right next to your face. "can i try something?" your head nods on its own and your lips part as his eyes glance over them. you don't have time to react as his hand comes to the back of your head and massages your scalp before pulling your head to the side by your hair, giving himself access to your neck. you gasp and grip the front his dress shirt as he licks up your neck, biting into your sensitive skin. you stifle a moan and just like that he pulls away. your hand comes up to your neck, shock evident on your face. "wha-what was that?" the captain's lip twitches in an almost smirk, a deep hum rumbling his chest. "just as i thought." your skin is softer than he imagined. but i dont know if you feel the same as i do "oi there you are levi! i've been waiting for sawney's files for forever." levi turns around to face the section commander with his usual stone faced expression, as if he wasn't just sucking on your neck a few seconds before. he walks over to her, handing over the papers he's been holding. "don't go complaining now, you're lucky i even got them for you." hange looks over to you and raises a brow "cadet l/n what are you still doing here? i thought i dismissed you ages ago." as your superior you know you should be intimidated, scared even, from her questioning, but over the past month and a half you two have gotten pretty close from how often you would have to see her for your routine check ups. your hands come to your hips and you tease "captain levi wanted to check over my arm himself. Apparently he doubts your ability to oversee my recovery." to anyone else her movements would be undetectable but your keen observation skills easily spot how her eyes quickly dart to your neck, swiftly following over to levi's wrinkled button up and watch as he wipes his lips with the back of his hand. if she put the dots together she didn't show it, instead going along with your joke. she lets out an exaggerated gasp and turns to levi "how dare you underestimate my healing abilities! i'll have you know i was top-" levi rolls his eyes "tch, i just wanted to make sure you weren't experimenting on her, four eyes. let's not forget about the blood test incident with mikasa." this makes you and hange laugh, levi letting a rare soft smile grace his lips as he watches you. "alright i'll leave you two, the girls are no doubt looking for me at this point." you and hange exchange a wave and levi watches your hips sway as you leave, mentally noting how good your uniform slacks make your ass look. he hears hange clear her throat and meets her gaze. his eyes slightly go wide as she gives him a knowing look and he looks away letting a "tch" out under his breath. "so i see you're finally going for it." levi glares at the woman and she smirks "i've seen you looking at her, and how protective you get with her-" levi glares "enough" he mumbles, looking like a pouting child as a rosy tint covers his cheeks. hange just continues her teasing "i heard her bunk is the cleanest out of all the girls'-" "shut up." hange just laughs and levi walks back to his office, avoiding further torment from the woman. but we could be together if you wanted to he was beginning to get pissed off. he expected you to cover the mark he left on you yesterday, you'd be a fool not to, but that's not what was bothering him. he watches from across the mess hall as reiner walks with you to get tea with his hand on your lower back. he knows reiner is using this as an excuse to make a move, as you are the only other person besides him and ymir who enjoys tea. how pathetic. he also notices how the other cadets are watching the two of you, excluding sasha who is too busy stuffing her face to notice anything. it was painfully obvious he was pining after you, yet your demeanor remained the same as always. with a grunt he focuses back on the conversation hange and erwin are having, subconsciously gripping the rim of his teacup tighter. do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? you laugh along with reiner as you pour your tea, trying to ignore how unnecessarily touchy he is today. you don't mind, his innocent touches never made you uncomfortable or made you feel anything really. reiner is a sweet guy, a lot of the other cadets look up to him and you respect that, but another man was occupying your thoughts. you sip your tea and tune in to what reiner is saying "-if i could i would build a cottage in the middle of nowhere with my own farm. it'd be perfect for my woman and i to start a family, and we wouldn't have to worry about the neighbors hearing us." he says the last part with a smirk and your face heats from his suggestive tone. "what about you gorgeous?" you take another sip and contemplate your answer. "well, if i could live beyond the walls i would probably explore. there has to be another civilization somewhere, we can't possibly be the last of the human race, there's no way i'm believing that bullshit." something in reiner's demeanor changes at your words. his face darkens and he steps closer to you, invading your space. the way he looks at you is unrecognizable, almost as if a different person stands before you. "how interesting." his hands come to your hips and he pulls you closer to him, his face hovering over yours, "who told you you could be this smart?" your eyes widen and you nervously laugh "my teachers i guess?" his grip on you tightens as you try to pull away. you really don't want to fight him and fear courses through you as he looks down at your neck. "oh? what's this?" one of his hands pull away to touch your neck and you use the opportunity to put a great distance between the two of you. your back hits someone's hard chest and their hand lightly rests against your lower back to steady you."i didn't know making women uncomfortable was something you enjoyed doing reiner." sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay the captain's voice sounds from behind you and your shoulders visibly relax. levi cooly steps around you and casually refills his teacup. reiner's eyes stay on him with a glare that would've sent anyone running if not directed at the captain. levi calmly sips his tea, "oi, what are you still standing there for? i know i'm a sight but you don't need to stare." levi doesn't even spare reiner a glance as he grunts and walks off. you begin to turn around until his deep voice stops you "not you. you're coming with me." baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day after levi finished his tea he silently lead you out of the mess hall toward his office. he walks in front of you, knowing you're following closely behind him. you don't speak until he opens the door to his office, walking in and gesturing for you to close the door. "you wanted to speak with me?" your voice comes out stronger than you thought it would due to the nerves coursing through you. you're alone with the captain in his office and it's just like you imagined. his desk is neatly organized with a few stacks of paper sitting in a straight line next to the edge. you notice a light ring the size of a teacup on the wood and a small smile rests on your face. "i didn't know i'd have to babysit you when you joined the scout regiment, if i had i wouldn't have let you." your smile is long forgotten. did you hear that right? "excuse me?" a look of disbelief graces your features and your head tilts to the side as you look at him. he couldn't help but find it endearing. "you heard me." though he knows it doesn't show on his face, he's pissed. he's sick of seeing all the other men openly lust over you as if you don't belong to him. no, he's done waiting around for you to realize how he feels. he crosses his arms and takes a step closer to you "you leading all the men on doesn't help your case either." your eyebrow twitches yet your face remains calm. is he trying to piss you off? "or are you so clueless that you can't see what you're doing to them?" he takes another step closer "to me?" you take a deep breath. "what is the point of this conversation, sir?" the title comes out harsher than you intended and the captain's eyebrow raises. "because if you're just going to shame me i'll be on my way." contrary to your words you don't make any move to leave his office. "no, i intend on doing other things." he lightly grabs ahold of one of your wrists and pulls you closer to him. "i cant have you acting like a slut now can i?" arousal courses through you and you gasp in shock as your other wrist moves to slap him before he gently grabs your hand, stopping it just before it hits him. "fuck you-" your voice catches in your throat as he traces his tongue up your wrist. your whole body heats and you forget to breathe as you watch him. he pulls away before kissing the area underneath your thumb, making eye contact as he lightly bites into your skin. crawlin back to you he relishes in the way your lips part, how intense and shocked your eyes look as they stay on his mouth. well that's one way to shut you up, but he doesn't want you to be quiet right now. he pulls away and a line of saliva connects your skin to his lips for a second. "cursing at your superior now are we?" you swallow and look back up into his eyes. oh how you regret doing that. the look he gives you sends heat straight to your core and you're sure your panties will be soaked soon."or-" he starts walking you backwards towards the door "does this little girl enjoy being a brat?" you don't even know how to respond. the man before you wears a small smirk "answer me." before your back can hit the door he turns you around, pulling your arms behind you and shoving your face against the cool wood. his chest is against your back and his scent fills your senses, making you dizzy with the pleasant smell of his cologne with a faint hint of soap and cleaning products. "asshole." your voice comes out in a quiet croak but he hears you clearly. he roughly pushes into you harder, causing his clothed cock to connect with your heat. a whimper falls from your lips from the contact and he feels you clench through his pants. his lips lightly caress your cheek as he speaks "how filthy, your cunt is already begging for me to fill you with my cock." your eyes widen at his words. you knew he had a foul mouth but this takes you by surprise. your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you're worried he can feel it against him. you push back into him, desperately searching for any kind of friction to relieve the pressure between your legs, and you thank the gods when he lets you grind against his hardening cock. he lets out a hiss and his hips start to grind with yours while his free hand unbuttons your pants and moves to rub circles on your aching clit. he mumbles against you "already so wet for me." before biting into your exposed shoulder. your breaths come out in light gasps, your movements becoming more desperate. you were already getting close and he could tell, but he doesn't want you cumming yet. your legs begin to shake as your release nears, small "yes"'s and "levi"'s falling from your lips. levi wants to hear those soft sounds on repeat, and he makes a mental note to find out how loud they can get. just as you're about to cum levi turns you around and pulls down your pants. your annoyance comes out in a huff as you step out of the slacks before he pushes you against the door again. your hands immediately move to touch him, and he lets you pull his shirt off, using your hands to feel the smooth muscles on his chest and run through his hair. he starts nibbling and sucking on your neck and you remember the warmth of his kiss, how soft and sensual his lips were and pray he'll let you feel them again. he looks at you, enjoying how beautifully fucked out you look already, before moving to connect your lips, yet he barely touches you before pulling away again. you try to lean forward to capture a real kiss from him but his hold on you doesn't budge. he's such a tease. a groan escapes you and levi tsks "now now y/n" they way he says your name makes you close your eyes and rest your head back against the door, trying to ground yourself and keep your composer. "you've made me wait this long-" his kisses trail down your neck before he gets on his knee before you. his calloused hands rub up your thighs and pull your panties off before he pulls one of your legs onto his shoulder. he lightly trails his index finger along your slit and you visibly shudder at the sensation. "you're going to cum on my mouth, understand?" ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? cause i always do your body's so hot you're surprised you haven't passed out by now. he looks up at you expectantly and you wordlessly nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. a harsh slap lands on your ass and you jump with a moan. "use your words cadet." his voice sends vibrations into your core due to his close proximity and you close your eyes, putting your pride and dignity aside. "yes sir, please levi, please, please, please" your words are soft and levi's cock twitches at your begging. you're making him uncomfortably hard but he ignores it in favor of seeing you squirm above him. he can get his dick wet later. he brings his index finger up and lightly teases your clit, watching for your body's reactions to his touch. "have you ever been touched like this before?" he wants to ruin you, to have you crying and begging for him. he wants to make you forget all that isn't his name, but more importantly he wants you to be comfortable. right now he's focused on making you feel good, but not only out of selflessness. he wants to see how many orgasms he can pull from you before you're an incoherent mess from his touch. truthfully he wants to ruin any future sexual escapades with any other lover for you, him being the only one to make your body feel this good. he's selfish and he knows it. he licks along your slit, delicately tasting your folds and he feels your whole body react. you let out a high pitched whine and your hands grip onto his hair tightly. well there's his answer. levi groans into you, sending vibrations throughout your body, and digs in. maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody knew, now i’ve it through his tongue's languid strokes have you arching into him, your leg struggling to keep you standing. his movements have you quickly approaching the high you so desperately need. you throw your head back and a particularly loud moan slips out when he flicks his tongue over your clit just right. "levi-" he grunts in response and you have to grip the door handle to keep your knee from buckling. "s-sir im- so close" his hands roughly grip your ass and he harshly sucks your clit, sending you tumbling over the edge. your mouth falls open in a silent cry as your orgasm washes over you and levi swears he could cum just from the sight. he laps up your juices and your body jolts every time he runs his tongue over your sensitive clit. one of his hands squeezes your ass as the other trails up under your shirt and kneads your breast over your bra. with a kiss on your pelvic bone he stands and pulls you toward his desk. "sit." he orders. you sit on the edge of his desk and he immediately goes back in between your legs "levi i- ah- what are you doing?" his tongue makes your body jolt due to how sensitive your clit is. he stands and pulls your shirt off of you, your bra coming off soon after. he mumbles "so perfect." as he takes your breasts in his hands, sucking and flicking your nipple with his tongue while his fingers pinch and tease the other. your body is gorgeous, shit, you're gorgeous. his thoughts surround your beauty as he pleases you, enjoying the soft gasps you let out. he pulls away and looks at you while he slips a finger into your tight cunt and curls it causing you to lurch forward into him. his other hand grabs your face and forces you to look at him "take it." your moans only increase at the command and you feel yourself approaching another orgasm. he adds another finger, using his whole arm to perfectly hit a spot deep within you while he swirls his thumb on your clit. you hold onto him for dear life, finger nails leaving red marks across his back as you cum on his fingers. do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? suddenly he dips his face between your legs and harshly sucks onto your clit. "ah- fuck levi!" you practically scream as your body shakes from the overstimulation. your cunt clenches his fingers so well throughout your orgasm and he roughly holds your legs open, hard enough to leave bruises. the pain only fuels you more, and although you try to hold back your moans he knows anyone nearby can tell what the two of you are doing. you can barely keep yourself sitting up as you lean back on one arm while the other tugs your captain's hair between your legs. you've never felt this good before. sure, a few of your past partners made you finish but not like this. you don't have it in you to be embarrassed about the noises you're making, your mind only focusing on the man bringing you this pleasure. levi pulls his fingers out of you and you watch with half lidded eyes as he sucks your slick off of them. he's eating you as if you're the best thing he's ever tasted, and to him you are. his fingers move to your clit, harshly rubbing back and forth on your already too sensitive bud and your whole body reacts. levi watches in awe as your head falls back and you arch closer to him, your hips subconsciously moving in time with his fingers. your eyes go wide as you feel his tongue enter you, your hand tightening in his hair as you cry out. the groan he lets into you is pornographic and it's enough to send you over the edge a third time. sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay if only you could see how beautiful you look right now, he thinks as he stands before you once again. his hand comes around your throat, pulling you to face him before he roughly connects his lips to yours. his tongue explores your mouth and you can taste yourself on him as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. his clothed (extremely hard) cock rubs against your aching center, no doubt ruining his pants with your slick, and he grunts into your mouth. you pull away from the heated make out session, a trail of saliva connecting your lips "please let me touch you" you would give anything to get a taste of him. he doesn't respond, instead he pulls you down and bends you over his desk, fully exposing your soaked pussy and ass to him. you hear clothes rustling behind you and he pulls your wrists behind your back using his belt to tie them in place. you feel the head of his cock run through your folds and you can't help the shaky breath you release. a sudden smack lands on your ass and you gasp, the pain causing your eyes to tear up. "how pathetic." he lands another blow onto your other cheek, harsh enough to make you jump, and you moan. "you would do anything for my cock wouldn't you? what a perfect little slut i found." he continues his harsh assault on your ass and you can feel your juices run down your legs, the hot stinging on your skin only fueling your arousal. "do you know how long i've waited for this? i've wanted to fuck that pretty mouth of yours ever since your smart ass asked me to train you." his hands rub over your cheeks, parting them for a second. "but i'll have to save that for next time." next time. "right now you need to be put in your place." his tip stretches you open and you whimper when he stills, his cock barely in you. his hand harshly grips your hair and he pulls, making your head up come up off his desk while the other grips tightly onto your hip, no doubt leaving a bruise. "beg." the command sends heat to your face and you're embarrassed by how turned on it makes you, but at this point you don't care. "please levi, please fuck me-"he grunts "good girl". he roughly slams into you and due to the position your neck is in you can't help but let out a strangled moan. you can't hold back your cries as his hips set a steady pace. it feels like his fat cock is splitting you open and tears stream down your face as the pain and pleasure overwhelm you. you're a sobbing moaning mess beneath him, and he picks up the pace, roughly fucking your abused cunt. your strangled cries have him concerned until he feels how deliciously you pulse around his large cock. he can't seem to focus on anything else as he repeatedly slams into you, his cock hitting all the right places. in the back of his mind a voice tells him he should probably shut you up considering erwin's office is right next door, and dinner is no doubt long over by now. but he can't help it, your voice sounds so good like this, the repeated "unh"'s and occasional curses are a symphony to his music loving ears. erwin will just have to deal with it for now. he feels you flutter around him and he can't help but grunt. you feel so good he considers kicking you from the scouts and keeping you to himself. "l-levi" his name comes out in a choked sob and he can tell you're close again. "go ahead and cum on my cock, brat." he lands a particularly hard slap on your ass and you come undone around him. you grip him so tightly he can't help but to cum with you, gods your cunt is squeezing around him so deliciously. his hips stutter and a long growl rumbles in his chest as he fills you. baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day "i'm not done with you yet." you let out a sob as he grabs onto your bound wrists, pulling your shoulders flush against his chest so that you're standing against him with one leg bent on the table. contrary to your cries your pussy gushes around his still hard cock. your leg shakes, barely able to support your own weight, and his strong hold keeps you against him. his hand wraps around your throat and rubs circles into your skin with his thumb while his other hand brushes your hair out of your face and traces along your curves to rest on your hip. he lightly kisses across your shoulder blade. "one more y/n, you think you can do that for me?" your tears mix with the sweat on his chest and you lay your head back against his shoulder, struggling to catch your breath. you nod and he connects your lips in a tender kiss as his hips return to their thrusting. you are in heaven surely, levi must have killed you for cursing at him earlier and your sick fantasies must be playing out in your mind before you take your final breath. you can't even think properly, your mind producing only one clear thought "levi-". his name falls from your lips like a mantra and he decides that your moans are his favorite song. his hand tightens around your throat, your mind blanking as your oxygen is restricted. your pussy flutters around him and the small grunts and curses he lets out into your ear make your head spin. "p-please levi-" you can barely form the words as his cock reduces you to a blabbering mess. he loosens his hold on your throat and his other hand starts rubbing your clit. you yelp and tightly squeeze your eyes closed "please let me touch you." too busy bein’ yours to fall his thrusts slow and his hand stills, as if he's contemplating your request. he answers you by slowly pulling out of you, catching you when you nearly fall over. he removes the belt from your wrists and gently massages them with his hands. "c'mere" he mumbles. he helps you around his desk, choosing to ignore the papers spread on the floor, and sits in his chair. he helps you onto his lap and you slowly sink onto him, causing both of you to release an airy moan. you start to set a pace, your hands bracing yourself on his chest as you use his cock to get off. levi's breath catches in his throat as he watches you, mesmerized by how captivating you look like this. he silently tries to commit this moment to memory as vividly as possible. his fingertips lightly trace over your nipples and down the marks he's left over your body. he gently squeezes your hip when goosebumps appear across your skin from his touch. you ever thought of callin’ darlin’? you look at him and see him wearing a small smile and you can't fight back the smile that overtakes your features, he's perfect. levi curses under his breath at the sight, swearing that your smile is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his painful existence. he feels tears threaten to brim his eyes and he quickly pulls you into him, crashing his lips against yours. your arms come around his neck as the passion in his kiss makes you breathless. he never wants to stop kissing you, the taste of your lips is intoxicating to him and he thanks whatever is listening for bringing you into his life. you feel him twitch in you and you can tell he's close, yet he makes no move to control your pace. you smile against him and you pull away, resting your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you put your hand on his cheek. a familiar feeling floods into your chest along with a sense of deja vu. levi puts his hand over yours and brings the other to rub your clit as a warmth he's grown accustomed to feeling around you blooms in his chest. he pulls your hand away from his face, interlacing your fingers together as he feels you approaching your climax. you squeeze his hand as you cum, your head falling to his shoulder and biting the crook of his neck to silence your cries. after a few seconds your name falls from his lips, his hand squeezing yours as he comes undone.

do you want me crawlin’ back to you?

——————————————————————————

"i can see why they say you're the best humanity has to offer." he chuckles at your comment and kisses your hand interlaced with his before his arms wrap around you, causing you to arch into him as you sit on his lap. his head rests in the crook of your neck and he responds with a gruff "not funny" into your skin. the vibrations tickle you and you laugh at his comment. you feel him smile against you. "you love it." your voice comes out just above a whisper. your hand runs through his hair as the other traces languid circles on his shoulder. he pulls you into him tighter, if that's even possible, and plants a light kiss on your cheek. "we need to clean." "levi i can't walk." "i know dumbass, by we i meant me. you can sit there and look pretty." "ok."

——————————————————————————

bro this shit is so hard to write

[mochikeiji]

You Found Me

↠ Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

↠ Warning: none, fluffy for my boy akaamshi uwu Writer!Reader, Aged Up characters.

↬ Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: He was just a fictional character, how can you be foolish enough to believe he were to be reincarnated and to be born in the same world as you live in? Will it even be possible for him to notice you in billions of people and far places?

⇢ Day 1: Reincarnation

You loved him.

More than words can describe.

"Love." can never be enough to portray the amount of adoration you had for this man. Nothing.

He doesn't know you.

He was just a character; written by people who held the most artistic perspectives into capturing a character's personality. They made him seem so real, so easy to love and to be succumbed into his entire being.

But he wasn't real.

Nor is he aware of the millions of eyes and fans from reality admiring him for simply being ethereal in his world of ink and colorful dialogues made by his author.

Nor will he be aware of the amount of love you were pouring out to his inexistence. To reciprocate the feelings, let alone acknowledge you from a crowd filled with much more dedicated people to him.

Yet every night you prayed; longed that one day there will be someone to be reborn as he is. A man to be born with that natural charismatic aura. The blunt, yet soft hearted soul of a person, the dedication he has shown in the show with his desr senior. Everything.

He was the embodiment of everything you wanted, needed.

Perfection at the most flawed world.

"Nobody compares to you, Keiji."

Day dreaming for what seemed like an everyday routine for you, you clicked on the next tab of your laptop away from the world of fictional sight— where mostly your safe haven is. Where you get to imagine a world with him and pondered back into your field of writing.

How long has it been since you've been off your draft? Was it 2 hours ago? Had you been submerged again with the same story you've memorized over the times you've read it? Well, no one can't help it. It was your coping mechanism, your escape from the cruel reality. Though the stories are imprinted in your mind and everyday dreams, you admired the fact how they were well written by different varieties of writers that came to admire his character and brought him to life. How they managed to make him and every character from the show come to life. It was as if all the scenarios you've wanted was all there, all granted. Except for one.

Where he was truly existing in the same world as you do.

"Well done, sweetie, you've lost another promised motivation to write." groaning with your head leaned back on your pillow, you closed your eyes for a short break. By instinct, the stories scenarios began playing inside your head.

All the fluffy ones that made your body feel somewhat lighter from the ghost, feathered kisses as you recalled the lines of your favorite ones. The ones where they would further describe how he would hold you in his arms like a fragile being, link his hands with yours, giving you his warm kisses as he presses you close to his chest.

The angst ones where he would be there to comfort you immediately, wiping away your tears as he helps you out of your struggles and battles in life. Letting him be your resting place and safety.

And lastly the explicit ones where you could only go so far to imagine the lewd things as the words from the screen pages come up to the surface and bound your body at his presence.

What a paradise, you would call.

Yet what a tragic for someone who longs for a person like that to be real.

Eyes opening after the self pitied thoughts, your sudden decision to go out in the cold, rainy afternoon came by. For a shy person you are, you never really liked the idea of squeezing in a crowd or to be seen, but as you eventually grew up, you begin to like places that felt like a second home to you. Be it a cafe or a bookshop, or just an area with a few people and closed walls where you were free to be in dazed once more.

Shutting you laptop closed and placing it back on your desk, you picked out some of your most comfortable clothing; mostly jogging pants and an adorable sweater. Having to be in highschool and growing out the habit of wearing long sleeved shirts even though it was hot was amusing to many. Though, today was exemptional.

You contemplated whether or not you would tie yor hair into a bun or leave it down, like that one character you read in your favorite show, he didn't like his field of vision to be wide. It brought a small amount of relief someone felt the same as you did, so you decided to just put it in a lower bun with your fringes hidig the sides of your face.

Grabbing you small bag and an umbrella, you walked out from your dorm. Your roommate had been stranded in her university from the sudden pouring, ordering her a coffee after coming back from the shop may be a good welcoming gift for her. She was the only person you managed to get close to at the time of your adulthood. It's only fair you have gotten attached and wanted to show her how much you love and appreciate her.

Thank goodness it was only pouring. If the rain happened to be coming with thunder and lightning, you would've gotten out and hid underneath your blankets. It isn't all the time you get to enjoy the droplets from the sky without the God of Thunder stomping down in anger.

The streets were absolutely stunning during the dark or gloomy weather, the lights from each building and shop were lighted up, combining with the rain and its pattering, it felt so serene to you than it did to others. The odd musk from the rain filling nostrils as your eyes cast upon the cemented streets that had colorful lights illuminating them, made you feel at ease and somehow your mind was starting to stir up multiple writing prompts and ideas that made you excited and happy.

The whole world disappearing before you as you were at the best day you claimed. The musk of the rain mixing up with the cinnamon and coffee like scent as you opened the door from the nearby cafe from your dorm welcomes you. Smiling shyly, you moved to the side a bit and removed your glasses to cleanse it as it got fogged up from the cool air before placing it back on your face and walked towards the cashier.

It was a miracle that the infamous coffee and sweets cafe of yours wasn't crowded today, managing to order quickly and waited on the other side of the counter. Your usual frappucino and a chocolate cake for your cravings.

"Ah, you're here again?"

The lovely male behind the counter chirped at the newly arrived customer. He was the nicest crew you knew in this cafe, you loved how he makes you feel at ease.

"Yeah, I got caught up in my papers and it went pouring all of a sudden."

"Always a workaholic aren't we, Kei?"

Kei? Cute name.

Kinda reminds you of that tall, player in the show you watched, Tsukishima.

"Wait there for a second, we're preparing two orders."

In instinct of the male's voice, you scooted away from the receiving counter a little for the next person to be standing next to you. You really didn't like sitting to waot for your order, who knows? You might trip and cause an embarrassing accident.

His scent however, was filling in your nostrils. Combining with the soft, delicious treats, he smelled like someone you would love to hug for days and feel safe. He smelled like home.

Was that weird? Yes.

Suddenly, this scene had made a perfect prompt pop in your head, you had to fish out your phone from your bag to write it down on your notes. It had been too long since you've written a good story. You missed your passion in writing, a good opportunity will never be passed as this.

"Do you write as well?"

Squeaking a bit with your palms already forming a sweat from nervousness and the cold air, you turned your head to your left side of the male costumer, who had an amused smile at his face from your reaction.

You wete never one to come and talk to a random stranger as a kid and teenager. But even as an adult, you felt inferior of them. But taking a few seconds to regain your breathing and judging by your surroundings, nothing seemed to be harmful to reply, right?

"A-ah, yeah, but it's not that good or a job, y'know?....Just a hobby."

Stuttering out and muttering the last part, inside your head you were screaming, had you lost your people skills too? Soft chuckling can be heard from him, he gives you a small smile, not noticing how he scooted closer to you since he couldn't quite hear your voice from afar.

"I think it's incredible how a person can put their imaginations into words and share it so freely to everyone across the world."

Heart beating fast.

He hits it home. He was definitely speaking the language of a writer, and you find yourself standing straighter and smiling a bit wider. There wasn't much people that shared your interest, your relatives and friends were always into musical and artistic drawings, or the domestic kind of jobs and talents. You were the only one who loved writing so much and pursued secretly. Meeting someone who shared the same thought and words as you cannot be forgotten.

You had to know him.

"Thank you..I take it you write as well?"

Score, you manage out a normal reply without being awkward.

"An editor to be exact, it's not as fun as it sounds. I was aiming for literature but it seems life wanted me to have a little detour."

Nothing was boring. In fact, it was making you more happy to hear how much you had in common with him. Not able to hold back the next words, you blurted out,

"I think it's amazing you're still part of the writing community. Be it any position I know you must have such potential in your work."

You catch his eyes just staring at yours behind his glasses. Biting your lip in habit gor when you feel nervous, you clamps your hands together and immediately stammered an apology for invading his personal life.

He laughs, but not too loudly.  The longer you reviewed his features and everything, the more he was starting to look like someone you've been day dreaming.

No, fate cannot be this powerful.

But he seemed so much like him that you wanted so badly to point your fingers to all the matched characteristics he was performing. From his outfit, hair, glasses, and his feature but more realistic, different. His eyes weren't the same gun metal ones as you remember from that character, but he radiates so much of his aura.

"Here are your orders, Kei, ma'am."

Ah damn, you didn't catch his name.

The both of you thanked the kind male before walking away from the counter. Scanning your surroundings quickly for a good spot to sit, you saw the free spot by the window where the rain was pattering and went there. It was like having a television show for free. Seeting your tray down the small coffee table, you stabbed in the straw to your beverage and mixed it up a bit before taking a sip, feeling empty and sad from not getting to know who that person was or to befriend him.

He was nice, gentle, something you would in a man before befriending them. You wanted to know more about his works and his ways of writing, maybe show you his ideas on literature writing. But mostly, you were intrigued from his entire existence.

You wanted to know more about him that it made your stomach twist in guilt and regret from the opportunity slipping away.

"May I sit here?"

And it slipped right back to you.

Biting the straw in your mouth as he smiled at you holding his tray of waffle and steaming coffee, awaiting for your permission before you nod out of daze and watched as he takes a seat in front of you.

Cliche was the first word that came up in your mind. You never would've thought that the scenario of a cute boy in glasses and a sweater hugging his body would want to be seated in a cafe with you.

And you loved cliche scenarios, even dreamed of having your own story-like life.

"The cafe is pretty empty, and you looked like you could use some company."

"I didn't take it that you enjoyed company so I sat far away.."

"You're right, I'm not. I wonder why now."

Was this his way of flirting? If it was, you're buying it. You loved how his voice was smooth and calm. The stoic look on his face earlier replaced by a pleased one with a small smile while taking a sip of his coffee.

"Maybe because I look lonely and you felt bad?"

"I simply wanted to enjoy my treat while chatting with someone who knows my interest rather than myself. Besides,"

He places down his cup on the tray before leaning his head a bit and smiling,

"It's not bad to get out of my shell now, right?"

His face stayed up close as yours was heating with your body getting ligther. He looked like him, he acts like him when he was all grown up. You didn't want to believe in the source of reincarnation and their mysterious, yet hopeful glimmer, but you knew. You knew and you would bet everything that this person was the perfect resemblance to the Akaashi Keiji.

"You never told me your name."

It came out like a whisper from your lips, the rain outside pouring harder as night fall came. He remains the same, smiling like a cheeky person, now fully interested in a person like you, a random stranger whom he just caught writing a romance prompt about a man she met in a cafe.

The detour his life had turned around for him to take, and yours to be fulfilled.

All the possibilities or unexplainable books, movies, theories. The characters, the events, all now making you dizzy at the idea of it all being true at a specific time and place. All of it was too good to be true. Too much that it made your eyes a bit teary to have finally encounter the person who has raised you high and kept you moving. The person who could never compare to the other people, be it fiction or reality.

"My name is, Keiji."

[jeonqukie]

OUT OF LOVE / 04.

SYNOPSIS / During a house warming get together with your closest friends, an unexpected guest shows up and attempts to catch your best friend’s attention. Too bad he’s too focused on making sure you’re not pushing your limits.

FEATURING / Jeon Jungkook.

GENRES / Jungkook being the biggest gamer & best friend ever, lots of angst and secret feelings, lots of fluff especially from our soft bunny, and eventual smut.

WARNINGS / This part will contain alcohol consumption, graphic language, and mature themes. Warnings will be updates accordingly.

WORD COUNT / 5.6k

TABLE OF CONTENTS / To be redirected and get the latest on the story, click on the table of contents.

NOTES / Hi all! I hope everyone is doing well especially the current state of the world right now. First, I want to apologize for the delay on any updates whatsoever. I’m currently stuck in a rut and have been doing anything I can to get the spark again or the same excitement again when I write. It honestly comes spontaneously and occurs for a brief period of time which is why even short drabbles like these take so long for me to write. Second, this new norm has been a difficult adjustment for me, so I’m trying my best to get accustomed to this. I hope everyone is doing well. But I’m so glad with how this part has turned out, imo. This was nothing like I imagined to begin with but I’m very happy with the end product bc it gives me something to work with. The next part may be the final part but it will be much longer maybe? Anyway, feedback is very much appreciated. Thank you so much for reading through this mess, but I really do appreciate anyone who actually takes their time and reads through my work. Stay safe and healthy. ( ◡‿◡ *)

© All rights reserved to jeonqukie. All or portions of my work may not be reproduced, distributed, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

The housewarming party was just a suggestion; that’s all it was —  a simple, silly joke that was meant to go over Jungkook’s head. But he didn’t think that it was such a bad idea at all.

“But we’ve literally moved in like, a month and a half ago. Kookie, you’ve been living here for nearly 2 years, you just moved to a new unit.” You reasoned with him. “I think it’s just an excuse to throw a party.”

The both of you sat in the living room couch with the bowl of popcorn placed on your stomach. It was one of the rare occasions that you and Jungkook had coinciding free time together. Normally, the both of you would decide on a movie together, but Jungkook had been invested in a brand new video game. So he had hooked up his gaming console to the living room television while he decided to go through the first play through while you listened to him explain what he was doing.

“I mean, it’d be cool! Plus, I heard from Mr. Lee from 3B that the manager would be out of town next weekend, so why not throw a little get together?” The timing of it all seemed to be perfect. Perhaps it is meant to be. “Why not have a couple of your friends come over and a couple of my friends come over as well? Namjoon-hyung has been dying for a hook-up maybe one of your friends would be —“ 

“I am not setting up my friends with one of your friends.” You scoffed at his suggestion and threw a handful of popcorn right at his direction which ensues a fit of chortles to escape his mouth. 

“I was just fucking around, YN. But I’m serious about the house warming. It’ll be so cool!” Jungkook encourages the idea and he pauses his game to shoot his doe eyes straight at you. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

The “get together" was in full swing; the most popular music playing in the background of your apartment came from Jungkook’s bluetooth speakers while you began refilling the dip bowls for the tortilla chips you have laid out for your guests. Meanwhile, one of Jungkook’s good friends, Taehyung and Jimin offered to stop by the closest liquor store to purchase some more bottles of beers before their arrival at your new home.

As you filled up each bowl with different dips, your can feel the heat of your cheeks burning your skin and your eyes constantly moving from one object to another — unable to keep a steady vision. It wasn’t until you feel someone grab your arm to spin you around only to be greeted with your friends with another shot filled with cheap tequila.

“Alright, last shot, YN, then we’re moving onto margaritas.” Jisoo offered you the mini clear cup before she offers you a red cup filled with what seemed like to be Sprite.

“I’m a pro at this now. I don’t need a chaser.” Right behind Jisoo was Rose welcoming a new guest and you take the shot before you swallowing the warm liquor coating your throat.

With pinched eyes, you feel a rush of energy shoot through your body before you are greeted with a new face. “YN, this is Lisa! Lisa, this is YN.” The name sounded so familiar to you yet you couldn’t quite point out where you had once heard it from. 

“Oh my god, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” The exaggerated niceties in your words can be heard from a mile away and Jungkook, from across the room, kept a close eye on you. He noticed you clutched onto the shot glass so tightly on your palm while he nursed his beer bottle.

As he had spotted your dazed eyes, his mind has suddenly focused on your demeanor; no longer offering his attention to the conversation his older friends are having with each other. It had been your fifth shot that evening. You were very good at pacing yourself… after some stern discipline from Jungkook himself. You knew that every fifteen minutes you would feel the effects of the shot you just drank.

A lazy smile etches onto your face as you drunkenly offer an unfamiliar face a hug. Jungkook knows your circle of friends. You had a close knit of them and he absolutely appreciated the fact that you would introduce you to them. Obviously, you had mutual friends considering you two met in an elective course.

He remembered that silly music course you two picked out for a stupid requirement. He remembered the first time he saw you. It took him by surprise but you took the seat right next to him and you had already pulled out your notebook, ready to taken notes on the first day. From then on that desk is where you sat and he would inevitably find a way to sit right next to you.

“Wait, you haven’t had a drink yet, have you?” The words came out so muffled to Jungkook when he realizes that Taehyung and Jimin had burst right through the door with their recently purchased beers. The boisterous entrance of his two closest friends distracted him for a moments time before you turned your back towards him and he catches glimpse of Rose and Jisoo pouring more shots into glasses.

“You’re giving me no attention at all, Jungkookie.” Hoseok, an older friend of Jungkook, nudges at him to earn it back. But his eyes remain fixated on your grinning face and he watches the rim of the shot glass touch the edge of your mouth. Your eyes squint at the taste of the new liquor and the burn that shoots a new moment of energy in your system.

“That’s because he’s watching over his girl right now.” The sounds of beers being popped open attracts his ears and the unexpected voice of his hyungs.

All of Jungkook’s posse shoots a quick glance over at the group of girls huddled in the kitchen counter doing multiple shots. His anxiety is creeping up to him because he knows how clumsy you can get when you were not sober. “Relax, Guk.” Namjoon attempts to comfort him. “You’re here and her friends are here. Plus, she’s home, anyway. Isn’t this the best time for her to get shit faced?”

Jungkook knew that Namjoon was right. If you did want to test the limits with your alcohol consumption, this would be the perfect time to do so. You weren’t in another person’s house or in a bar; you were in the comfort of your own home. If you did get hurt, you were surrounded by your friends and Jungkook would be nearby to assist you.

The thought brought some relief to Jungkook. Jimin offers Jungkook a cold bottle of beer where he takes a long swig out of it, only to feel the same anxiety when he witnesses you taking another shot for the third time in a row.

Hiccuped slurs can be heard as you sat on the kitchen counter along with a bunch of your friends who have been mixing cocktails for the rest of the group. Meanwhile, an aftermath of your drunken stupor involved shoveling chips and guacamole into your mouth while you would take slow sips of Rose’s sickeningly sweet margarita mix. The tequila was sneaky; though the beverage was primarily juice and she’d add soda for the sweetness, but the liquor would sneak back to you.

“Hey Rose, who’s that Jungkook guy you were talking about?” Lisa nudged as her eyes wandered around the kitchen and then the living room where a group of guys had been too busy conversing and guzzling beers of their own.

“Jungkookie’s my roommate.” A crooked and lazy grin appears right across your flushed face as your eyes met over with Jungkook who stood at the corner where his phone had been charging. The music changed in the background and you figured it was Jungkook who had decided to switch up the ambience.

Just an hour ago, everyone had been laughing their assess off with shared stories. Perhaps it was the liquor speaking. Nevertheless, everyone had been having a good time. But the excess consumption of mixed alcohol had the atmosphere winding down. The haze of exhaustion is beginning to settle amongst everyone in the room and you are leaning on your cupboards for support as you listened on quietly to your friends’ conversation.

Lisa sized him up from head to toe and you conceal your reaction from the rest of the world as you continue drinking your margarita mix to drown out what you’re able to hear. “He’s cute.”

“Oh, c’mon, Lisa — he’s more than just cute. He’s fucking hot.”

More chips, more guac.

“Plus, from what YN tells us, he’s peak boyfriend material.” Jisoo swoons silently in order to hide the conversation from the group of guys at the other side of the room.

More margarita.

“Is he now?” Lisa’s perfectly sculpted brows shoot up in interest and you are chewing on your cheek as you are soon running out of margarita to swallow down. A red plastic cup appears in front of Jisoo’s face and she narrows her eyes at you at your simple request.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?” With a simple shake of your head, you nudge the cup further to her and she shrugs off any doubt because surely you could handle the alcohol. You just needed something to drown out the conversation that was being held at that moment, so what harm would another glass of margarita do? 

“Do another shot with me.” Lisa encourages to Rose who shakes her head in response. “Liquid courage to ask Jungkook out. I thought you’d given him my number, YN.”

“Must’ve slipped my mind.” You mumble incoherently before Jisoo is wary of your behavior. You take a large gulp from the plastic red cup and squint at the sweetness of it all. You can’t help but shoot your eyes over to Jungkook where an eruption of boisterous laughter can be heard from across the room.

“Well, no one’s really stopping you.” With Rose’s encouragement, you are endlessly swallowing your refreshed drink only to discover you had continuously drank the entire thing in one go at the sight of the bottom of the cup.

“More, please.” You sighed.

The little get together came to an abrupt end when Hoseok began dozing off in the middle of one of Namjoon’s stories. Everyone collectively agreed to clean as much as they can, but with everyone being heavily intoxicated, it took nearly an hour to properly organize everything. You and Jungkook had agreed to let Hoseok and Yoongi to crash on your sectional couch since Yoongi came with Hoseok that evening.

Taehyung, a lightweight, was one of the few people who was the only one tipsy that evening and had managed to sober up within an hour and a half and had driven the rest of the gang home. As always, you were already calling an Uber for your friends who seemed to be slowly dozing off as they moved lethargically around the kitchen.

Jungkook’s gentlemanly behavior had been exhibited when he had gathered three bottles of water; one for each of your friend as they awaited for the arrival of the Uber driver you had ordered for them.

“Thank you, Kookie.” Three of your friends had collectively expressed their gratitude for your roommate in a sickeningly sweet manner.

Sickeningly sweet.

“YN can’t even walk, so I’ll accompany you three downstairs, if you’re okay with that.” He offers and Lisa is already nodding her head instantaneously.

“Aw, Jungkookie, such a sweetheart.”

Disgustingly sweet.

And, suddenly, there is a revolting heat seizing in your throat and your were thankful you possessed one brain cell that evening that ordered your body to move. You sprinted nearly tripping on your way to the bathroom where you fell on the tiled floors and propped the toilet up to regurgitate all of your stomach’s content into the porcelain bowl.

Tears began pooling your eyes and the awful taste of the margarita mix and tequila was all you had been focusing on. In the midst of coughing, someone’s digits came crawling to your neck as it gathered your thick mane away from your face. A soothing hand can be felt on your back where slow circles can be felt to ease the pain on your abdomen.

“What did I tell you about pacing yourself?” Jungkook’s rough voice can be heard to your left side and you continue spitting the grotesqueness that had been inside your stomach.

You grunted in response to his stern scolds and he is still caressing your back as a second wave of vomit come spilling out of your mouth. “I — I’m fine.” You croak out as he wipes the tears off of your cheek. “You should go and see if the girls need help —“

“I woke Yoongi-hyung up so he can accompany them.” His answer is quick and brief as he continues to brush away stray hairs off of your face. “You done?”

When the nausea subsides, you nod your head and he instantly stands from where he had been kneeling. He flushes the toilet and searches the sink for your toothbrush.

“Take this first.” He sees a small clear glass with filled tap water and a cap full of mouth wash. Closing the lid of the toilet bowl and sitting on it, you are sloshing the minty liquid in your mouth before you spitting the rest out.

He offers you your toothbrush with a pea sized toothpaste already placed at the center of it. “Brush your teeth.” He demands and you nod silently.

Unsure of what he had been up to, you can’t help but mentally slap yourself in the face for drinking so heavily. The past minute had gone by so quickly yet it had felt like a million years. When you completed brushing your teeth, Jungkook comes back with your pajamas. “Here; you can change into this and I’m taking you bed.”

“But I want to help clean up —“

“We can clean up tomorrow. You’re too fucked up to stand up right now.” He sighs seeing that you were trying your best to hold yourself up. The sound of someone reentering your front door notifies you and Jungkook that it was most likely who had returned to his peaceful slumber. 

“Change now, please.”

Once Jungkook exits the bathroom and gives you the privacy you need to change into cleaner and comfortable clothes, you shut the door in front of you to strip off the rough layers of your sweater and jeans into your linen pajamas. You’ve decided to wash your face as well to give you some sort of cleanliness to your skin.

“Yeah, thank god they’re cooperative when they’re drunk — giggly but cooperative.” Muffled grumbles came from outside but Yoongi’s voice had been drowned out by the sound of water sloshing down the drain. “Oh, yeah, I think one of YN’s friends thought I was you, so she gave me this.” You turn the knobs of the water off and listen more closely to Jungkook’s conversation with Yoongi.

Little did you know that it had been Lisa’s phone number with a brief message to give her a call some time in the near future. But Jungkook takes the small note only to crumple it up and throw it to the side. When you’ve successfully cleansed your face, you’ve pat your face dry, trying to conceal your thoughts, and hoping you won’t say anything that would reveal your inner most feelings for Jungkook.

You have feelings for Jungkook.

“You can take my bed, hyung.” Jungkook offers. “I’m afraid YN’s going to feel sick again, so I’ll just sleep in her room tonight.” Yoongi grins mischievously at Jungkook and he nudges at him jokingly, earning an eye roll from Jungkook himself. “Don’t smile at me like that or I’m letting you sleep next to Hobi-hyung.” Yoongi pats Jungkook on his arm before he waltzes over to his bedroom where closes the door shut.

Footsteps approach the bedroom and you hear two knocks on the door where you open to reveal yourself in your pajamas, face completely bare and clean for Jungkook. Your exhausted eyes meet his and your pouty lips form a downward curve, obviously asking for forgiveness from Jungkook. “Sorry for drinking too much.” You grumble and he scoffs at your apology, but he can’t help but think of how cute you looked — tired and worn yet you had managed to win his heart over.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Jungkook merely suggests. His voice had been a little bit more delicate, so you step out of the bathroom as he takes your arm to guide your lethargic body over to where your bedroom resided on the other side of the apartment. You had tidied your room before you had your little get together with your friends and you are already thanking your sober self for doing so. At the sight of your bed, you immediately crawl underneath your duvet covers and savored the softness and the fresh scent of the linens.

“You know, Guk, I’m not that bad. I probably just ate too much, that’s why I threw up.”

“You know, I hate how stubborn you are, but I hate myself more for even letting you do this to me.” Jungkook sits at the foot of your bed and you’ve successfully tucked yourself in, cocking your head to the side as the words have finally sunk in.

“What’re you talking about?” The curiosity is evident in your eyes and he was melting at the way your bottom lip protruded over your upper lip; the obvious pout on your face exhibited his biggest weakness.

Oh, how he’d want to lean down and place the most delicate of kisses upon your lips.

The thought is tempting and, given the state of you, if he had done it, you wouldn’t even remember a single thing the occurred in your room that evening. But Jungkook was not that guy — not at all. He wasn’t the type of guy to take advantage of your vulnerable consciousness. He wasn’t the type of guy who went out seeking for temporary… encounters.

He is a hopeless romantic and he is hopelessly in love with you.

“It’s whatever. You’re too drunk to understand.” Jungkook scoffs and you stare at him for the longest time. Your hazed voice chanting just how much you realized just how beautiful he looked despite the shittiest lighting in your bedroom. The dazed look painted right across your visage disappears into a crooked smile before you giggle.

“I am drunk, huh?” The intonation of your voice tickled his ears and you scoot your body to the other side of the bed before lifting the sheets to over the spot you had originally occupied. “C’mon, I know you’re not leaving me alone any time soon, so you might as well get comfortable.”

The suggestion was tempting but you see the hesitance across his face before your lips did that… stupid pouting thing again and Jungkook rolls his eyes in defeat before he slips underneath the covers as an act of surrender. When you giddily turn your attention over to Jungkook who laid right beside you, he faces right towards your body and you face him as well.

“To be fair, I was impressed; four shots in half an hour and you did not throw up.” You smile proudly and a bit too lazily. Your eyes remain half lidded as the comforts of your bed envelope your aching body.

“You have got to give me some credit, Kookie. I’m not so much of a lightweight anymore.” You nuzzled your head into the pillow but as your eyes come to a close and you are met with darkness, your brain immediately drifts to an imagination of Jungkook’s soft chest underneath your cheek instead of the fluffy pillows. Perhaps you’d hear his loud heart beating against his chest and feel his steady breathing.

But this was close enough; the scent of his cologne and beer lingered a mere inches away from you and the softness of the pillow was enough to let your imagination run wild.

And Jungkook notices this.

He notices the way your eyes come fluttering close and the grin remained etched across your face. He didn’t want to disturb a you drifted off in your sleep, but he can hear the soft giggle coming out of your mouth. He can see your body relaxing and succumbing to the exhaustion before he begins moving a stray hair away from your face.

The pads of his thumb brushes against your nose and cheeks as his nails lightly tap your ear lobes to tuck the hairs off of your sleepy face. “You wanna know something funny?” Jungkook begins.

“Hm?” It’s all you can really respond to at this point. Your poor body is succumbing to the exhaustion of this evening’s events. Half of Jungkook urged for you to go straight to slumber — that way he’d get a good night’s sleep too. But another half of him desperately wanted to savor this moment; you laid so comfortably right next to him and there’s nothing in the world to worry about.

He wasn’t spending time with you as much lately. Your schedules never really clicked; he woke up too early to go to the gym on the weekdays and, by the time he was done working out, you were already on your way to your morning classes. But there was already breakfast ready for him to eat because you always saved some for him to eat before work. Even though Jungkook went to work later, he would still manage to get home first. He understood why you were staying out late though; being a full-time student and working on the side was not an easy task to do at hand.

So he would be relieved to see you come home because, to return the favor, he had dinner ready for you. Most of the time, you would scarf down your meals and go straight to doing your homework before you freshened up for bed. However, as exam season approached, you wouldn’t eat half of the time; it was a relentless cycle of sleep and study.

To have you him right in front of him with the most serene grins plastered on your face, though hammered, he savored every second of it. And, suddenly, his warm fingers are still caressing your cheek and you are relishing in the warmth of his palm against your skin. The soft hums of pleasure vibrating on your throat brought a leap to his heart and he can feel you nestling your face into his palm.

“Yoongi-hyung tells me that one of your friends gave him their number. The funny thing is they thought he was me.” Perhaps this wasn’t the perfect time to introduce a new subject, but he was quite curious as to how you would react. But there is a silence that filled the air and your steady breathing is all he can manage to decipher. When he hears the light snores coming from your small mouth, he chuckles endearingly.

When he things that you have gone to your tranquil dream land, he peels the duvet off of his body and the weight shifting causes you to stir but he manages to put it to a halt and you are breathing steadily again. When Jungkook reverses towards your door to take complete his slumber in the living room, he hears you call his name.

“Wait, where’d you go, Kookie?” You say so tiredly as you began searching the empty bed side and your eyes come fluttering open. “Can’t you stay? I liked it when you were playing with my hair.”

Jungkook couldn’t believe what he had been hearing. He keeps reminding himself that you were intoxicated and you won’t remember your own words the following morning. But, on the other hand, he is reminded of a saying Jimin always told him.

When a person is drunk, the most sober thoughts come spilling out of their mouths.

So was this your most sober thoughts? Did you actually enjoy his physical touch on you? Did it bring comfort to you? Because he would continue doing all night if he could, just to please you. 

“I’ll stay, don’t worry.” He hums and he wonders whether this is the correct thing to do.

Was he taking advantage of your vulnerability like this? Though his intentions were pure, he is reminding himself that you were clearly inebriated and the sooner you slept, the sooner he would be out of the room. He was drunk and his imagination is running wild as he lays right next to you once again. His tattooed hand reaches towards your face where he continues to caress your hair, twirling the soft ends around his large digits. His nails would comb right through them and, occasionally, massage your scalp.

It was a tantalizing experience. You were too lost in the feeling of his fingers tangling through your mane and the pads of his fingers digging upon your scalp which soothe tension around your head. You were melting at his touch and you can feel your consciousness surrender to the exhaustion overwhelming your physique at the very moment.

“Kookie?” A soft whisper leaves your lips.

Unaware of your actions, you are moving your body closer to the warmth of Jungkook’s body right across from you. One thing you are aware of is that your arm instinctively reached over to his waist where they slither on him; a sense of reassurance that he wouldn’t leave you whatsoever. He freezes for a moment and relaxes when he sees your nose scrunch in response. As he resumes to play with your hair, you are back to the hypnotic feeling of his fingers on your hair. Your arm relaxes onto his waist and, in response, Jungkook is growing accustomed to the weight of your arm on his body.

“Hm?” He hums in response.

And, suddenly, when the snores increase in volume, his fingers completely stop playing with you hair. Instead, they fall lower to your own waist where his arm lays where you are already fall asleep. At the feeling of someone’s touch on your waist, you instinctively pull yourself closer to the warmth of his body; your head pressing onto his chest and the scent of your lavender shampoo is so addictive when he nuzzles his nose upon your head.

“Don’t text her."

Your steady chest rises and lowers against his body and he can feel his heart beat… steady from its increased acceleration earlier. The sounds of your soft exhales on his chest was enough to knock him right off his feet because he cradles you close to him as Jungkook, too, drifts off in his own subconscious.

“I won’t.” 

The violent rays of the sun shone right across your face which forces you to flutter your eyes open. The duvet completely tangled around your legs and you had managed to kick them off as you slowly and cautiously lift your exhausted body off of the comforts of your bed. The dryness of your throat is alarming and you are searching for a water bottle by your nightstand, but the door swinging open has managed to catch your attention and you are met with a freshly showered Jungkook.

“Huh, I wasn’t expecting you to be up yet.” You had caught sight of his waist as he is tugging his shirt on him. His nearly dry hair is ruffled as he is reaches towards the bottle of the pain killers before he tosses you a water bottle. “Take two of them right now.”

The grumble that emitted from your mouth ensued an upwards stretch on his mouth as he examines you trying to process the events of last night, that is, if you can even remember a single thing. When you pop the cap open and attempt to spill out two pills into your mouth, your throat is desperate for the coolness of the water to satisfy your thirst.

Jungkook takes the empty space right next to you as you scratch the back of your head. He is much bigger than you thought as he towered over you, trying to remember anything from last night. “How’d you sleep last night?” The gloat was so evident in his voice and this was not something you wanted to hear first thing in the morning, so you found yourself laying back down only to shove the pillow to your face.

“I don’t want to hear it, Kookie! If I did something stupid, just say it! Say you told me so.” Your muffled whining can only be heard to Jungkook and he is already chuckling at your reaction. Most of the time when you are unable to handle your alcohol and he ends up having to take care of you, he happens to find a way to embarrass you the first thing in the morning.

“It wasn’t really that bad.” He begins and he waits for you to peek out of the pillow you had shoved out of your face. When he meets your eyes, there is a smug grin right across his handsome face. “You did throw up though.” You are shoving the pillow back into your face before he catches it before you can cover your shame. When you are exposed to him, you are pulling the pillow on his hands while one of his hands attempt to peel the cushion right off your face and the other pushing your arm away from it.

“I get it, Guk!” A fit of giggles begin erupting from your mouths at the idea of you just throwing up.

“I gotta give you props though, YN. You managed to run to the bathroom; 10 points for quick reflexes.” Your grip on the pillow softens and Jungkook’s strength overpowers yours so he completely rids of the pillow of your face and you are now fully facing him as he is practically towering over you.

“Well, I learned from the best, didn’t I?” The playful wink was enough for both his arms to cease their function. Both of his hands are on either side of your bed and you find it quite hard to believe how the both of you have found yourself in a very compromising situation. But you didn’t mind it at all and, quite frankly, Jungkook didn’t either.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changes as faint memories of last night’s conversation come replaying in Jungkook’s head. He wished the memory would come jogging back to you, but he knew better not to say much.

“Was there anything else that happened last night?” There was one thing you did remember; it was the primary reason for your choice to be completely shit-faced that evening. You couldn’t… live with the idea of Jungkook being remotely interested in one of your friends — it’s not that they were unlikeable. You love them and believe they’re great girls, but… their intentions were purely… physical and just the thought of it brought up an emotion you were unaware you would feel.

He simply shakes his head and Jungkook remains frozen as he stares into your eyes. “Well, Lisa did give me her number.” He announces and he witnesses the split second of sincerity in your reaction; the micro reaction of your eyes looking directly into his with such pain and the pout that threatened to etch downwards, but you had manage to force yourself to remain unfazed. “I threw it out though.”

And there it was.

There is a weakness in your grin but he witnesses your cheeks turn a light pink color and he is gnawing on the inside of his cheeks, desperate to steal a kiss. But he wasn’t that type of guy. “YN,” He starts and you are aware of the atmosphere changing. His tone changes and you are aware that he is serious and you can see that he is hesitant; you can see him contemplate his choice and you’re aware of the consequences. If he chooses to pursue anything, you two have crossed a line between friends where you both cannot reverse your actions. On the other hand, you two can continue this game of what ifs. “YN, I really want to kiss you.”

You swallowed hard at the word.

Kiss.

“Kiss?” You repeated.

“Yes, kiss; my lips on your lips.” The heat on your cheeks is rapidly increasing in temperature and it soon radiates to your lobes. “Is that okay with you?” When your eyes lower to his moist lips, you cock your head to the side before you offer a single nod. When you grant him permission, his hand moves a stray hair out of your face and his thumb caresses your cheek to feel the softness of your skin. You revel the sensation of his soft yet calloused skin on yours; you flutter your eyes closed as you smell the scent of minty toothpaste as he moves closer. The tip of his nose delicately hits yours and you are aware, now, that you were holding your breath. Your heart races so hard on your chest and you are afraid it could nearly break through it.

“Breathe, YN.” He laughs as he notices such gesture.

“Sorry, I’m… nervo —“ When you reply, he interrupts you midway to capture your bottom lip in between his mouth. You are returning the favor only to savor the taste of his mouth; so fresh — like air. His hand still cradles your face so closely to his and your mouths move in synchrony with each other.

Suddenly, you weren’t breathing again.

Not out of nervousness.

But because you two just couldn’t get enough of each other.

↪ Please stay tuned for the next part!

[ichigo-kamome]

Start Over - Imagine Dragons - Sakuatsu One Shot

Okay HI GUYS so first post

(wow how cool)

I wanted to do a little writing exercise and shuffle a playlist I really enjoy and then write for characters based on the song. So, Start Over by Imagine Dragons was my first song <3 here’s a link to the song!! https://open.spotify.com/track/2Iug43iQrHN8CbGsUd2tEt?si=CrDSFtEpRKe1UkYojJwWiQ&dl_branch=1

This is just going to be a quick one shot because I can only listen to a song on repeat so many times before wanting to scream, so it stops whenever I get annoyed of the song :) ig this is angst with like a good ending? IDEK HAHA BUT ENJOY!! 

oh and there is a bit of language in this? :,D also I didn’t edit this because I didn’t have time to so my apologies for unintentional grammar mistakes and misspellings! :,>

The plane was filled with hardly any noise at all, but in Atsumu’s mind there was a storm of noise, emotion, and words. So many words. Words he was told, words he said, words he shouldn’t have said, words he should have said. 

Actions. Ones he did take, ones he didn’t take, all of them ran through his mind faster than the plane was soaring in the air. The silence around him felt entirely deafening, and there was nothing he could do in this moment but sit there and replay the memories of the past night.

He was more than aware that he had royally messed up. Sakusa Kyoomi had informed him of that. Yet, his own ego rendered him completely blind the moment he heard such words.

“You care so much about appearances, yet you refuse to work on your own. Becoming a better version of yourself on the court is something you’re more than willing to do, but outside of that? Where the public eye is blind to? Well, so are you.”

Those words replayed countless times, echoing off walls and coming back to him. It was all he could think about. How he had done Omi wrong, and how all he wanted to do was fix their situation. 

However, that wasn’t exactly possible in the present situation. 

Miya Atsumu was on an airplane with no cell service, and he would be stuck there for multiple hours. It felt like hell, having to sit there for so long with his own thoughts and the words that he heard last night. The words that were true. Then again, it wasn’t all a bad thing that he had to reflect on the situation. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi was also left alone with his own thoughts, emotions, the words that were spoken last night. This odd feeling of the presence and absence of regret plagued him in his isolation. He knew that what he said needed to get to Atsumu in some way. 

Lately, the setter had been so concerned with who he was on the court that he had forgotten to examine his character off the court. Of course, this led to mistakes, apologies, more mistakes, more apologies, an endless cycle of hurting those around him, and Sakusa left alone many nights in which he shouldn’t have been. The pain he felt wasn’t sharp, however. It was more of a dull, emotionless pain that caused him to feel somewhat repulsed.

“Ya shouldn’t be hangin’ around someone who makes you feel like trash, right? So, I’ll do the honors and kindly fuck off for a while. See how ya like it, Omi.” He still was dumbfounded by those words. He knew Miya to be someone who would sometimes speak first without fully evaluating how it would effect the other party, but he didn’t realize just what it was like to be on the receiving end of one of those comments. 

Sakusa and Atsumu had a relatively healthy relationship. Of course, they had their disagreements, but there had never been an explicit moment in which Sakusa could remember that Miya would have the chance to lash out so harshly.

That’s a good thing, at least. It’s only happened once. He thought.

But, how long until it happens again? 

Omi felt his heart sink and he sighed, trying not to think too much about that right now.

What if there isn’t an “again”?

---

Again. A word Sakusa didn’t seem to be fond of in the recent weeks. Atsumu had always made the same mistakes, again. He had always been out too late with other people, again. He had always come home the next morning, again. Apologized, again. Said he’s never do it, again.

But now, the word had new meaning. If there was no again for Atsumu to hurt him, would that mean that he had moved on? Would that mean his leaving was final and there wouldn’t be any risk to get hurt again?

There was always a risk to get hurt. Sakusa knew that full well. And, he knew there was a risk to get hurt repeatedly. However, if there was no risk, that meant there was no Atsumu. While he didn’t like risk, he didn’t like the idea of never being able to say “I love you,” again to his best friend.

Miya Atsumu had been gone for a couple weeks for training in another country. He had been so far, and yet all he wanted to do was go back home to the people he cared about. 

He had messed up so many times. He had his “fall” and realized he sure as hell didn’t like how lonely it was on the bottom. The people he had neglected to care about recently weren’t there, and everything that came along with promise was so far from that. He didn’t want to be there and longer, and knew he had to change his habits and lifestyle outside of the court to better himself and lend more towards those he truly cared for. 

One of those people being Sakusa Kiyoomi. 

God, I need to call him before my flight back home, was all he could think. He was sitting in the airport with less than 5 minutes until he was to board. I have time, he thought. 

He grabbed his phone and dialed Sakusa’s number by instinct. Omi <3 read the contact. He hesitated only slightly. Maybe this is better to settle in person. A phone call isn’t the best way to discuss this, especially when I only have so much time.

He sucked in a deep breath. There was no way he could do this properly

“But, I hafta at least try.”

One ring. 

Two rings.

Three. 

Damn, Omi, pick up...

Four

Five.

“Hello?” He heard at last. 

“OMI!” Atsumu practically shouted in the middle of the air port. People turned their heads towards him dramatically, some looking aggravated, some confused, some about to laugh. He didn’t care. The noise in his mind had already been that loud, so he had hardly noticed the stark contrast when he spoke at such a loud volume.

“Ow, okay, no need to shout. It’s a phone call, I’m right here. Why did you call?” Omi said monotonously. Atsumu felt a cold shiver run down his spine, and all at once he wanted to hit the large red button on his phone screen and pretend he never called and their argument never happened and everything was okay. However, that would get them nowhere. That’s not what Atsumu wanted.

“Heya, uhm, I don’t exacly have a lot of time?”

“Mm. Figures.”

“But all I’ve been able ta think about lately is how ya were so right.”

Sakusa Kiyoomi wished he had been recording this call, because he might not ever hear those words again. Before, it was always ‘I was wrong,’ never, ‘you were right.’

“And I’ve been treatin’ like so much less than ya deserve. Yer one of my favorite people, Omi, and I have don’t nothin to show that ta ya.”

Silence for the first time in two weeks.

“I wanna do better by ya. And, I don’t have a lot of time ta get into details because I board the plane shortly... and I don’t expect an immediate answer from ya, but, can try again?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t push your luck, you heard me the first time. Get home safely.”

“Oh. And, of course, we can talk more about it later and everything, because I still have a lot ta say and I wanna hear what you hafta say too because what you wanna say is important to me an-”

“Miya?”

“Yes?” he sucked in a breath, holding it in the absence of conversation.

A pause.

“Get home safely. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Yeah, you got it. Me too.”

“Goodbye. See you soon.” A beep.

“Bye, Omi. Cya soon.”

[werifestaria]

Hi I love your blog layout it so tidy!! Also would it be alright if I got a bnha matchup please?. My pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual. My personality type is ISTJ, I'm a sagittarius sun, scorpio moon and libra rising. To the public I'm pretty closed off/reserved but with my friends I'm brave, loyal and love to laugh. I don't trust easily and I'm pretty cautious of everyone so I try to keep out of the way.

My hobbies include gymnastics which I did competitively and won a few medals, I also do figure skating and have leveled up pretty quickly at that. I workout everyday because even though I dont compete now I still want to improve and if anything I'm better now than I was back then.

I like indie music, horror movies mainly psychological, nature and wildlife and the peace and quiet it brings. I hate loud, busy places, untidy, dirty things and people messing up my routine.

My love language is quality time like I just wanna be around that person a lot. I think the love language that speaks to me most is probably also quality time, like the fact that they would want to be around me willingly seems so unfamiliar I love the idea of it. Also words of affirmation or physical touch, I'm awkward at giving those but receiving them would make me melt cause I'm not really used to any of it. My ideal dates are simple things like going on walks at like 3am or dancing in the livingroom or movie nights just cheap simple things like that.

hope that's okay sorry it kindof long :)

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐚

Thank you so much for one of our first requests! We appreciate your love for the layout as well!! Tbh, I spent multiple hours straight getting it just right, so it’s a relief people find it pretty- and also, Scorpio moon gang! anyways, I hope you enjoy your matchup from me! Have a lovely day, hun

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 . . .

𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 !

runner-up : hanta sero

Easily, Kirishima is one of BNHA’s most easygoing, compassionate characters. His heart is big and always in the right place. Based off of your description and his own array of traits, I think he is the perfect character for you! Like, almost a little too perfect. A Sagittarius and a Libra (Kirishima’s sun sign!) are said to be very compatible and harmonious. Even better, it’s also said that people are often drawn to others who have their sun sign in the ascendant—Kirishima being a Libra sun and you being a Libra rising! To make things even more fantastic, perfect, and everything in between, Kirishima’s MBTI (according to The Personality Database) is ESFP. Guess what? ISTJ’s and ESFP’s are said to be extremely compatible! Of course, he’d find your inner demeanor to be extremely attractive. As he is naturally social, he wouldn’t mind your reserved nature and would pursue you in both friendship & romance regardless. Your outer shell would only lead him to appreciate your comical inner-self even more! He’d greatly admire your bravery and loyalty as well—it’s not something you see often anymore, after all. He’d try to bring the best out of you as naturally as possible, letting you do the same to him. Easily, he’s the most supportive boyfriend you could ever get! This man would adore you with patience, admiration, and sheer love, all with his own cheesy, dorky flair. I imagine Kirishima is careful in love, yet just as bold as the sun. He’s grounded, but on his most passionate days, his admiration can never be paralleled. You’d simply make him weak in the knees with every glance you’d spare him!

𖥸 Your music taste simply infects him. Imagine him listening to indie music with you 🥺🥺 your head in his lap as he plays with your hair- omg!! he loves to just sit and vibe with you. Nothing can compare to the fun you have on your chilliest days- he loves spending time with you in little ways like that

𖥸 Workout dates!! He’s infatuated with you for many reasons, but one of them is because you work out. The dude literally thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world and he adores working out with you. It’s easily his kryptonite lol

𖥸 Kiri has no concept of grace, so he is extremely impressed with your gymnastics and figure skating skills!! He could watch you do your thing for hours tbh. Like, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. In fact, I think he’d try to incorporate more nimbleness to his moves even though such a feat is kinda difficult when you can turn into rock. You gotta give him some credit tho- we all know he can be a little too opportunistic!! Just imagine him tripping all over himself because he wants to be nimble like you- that little blush on his face as he apologies for being a dummy- aww 💕💕

𖥸 Simply the king of casual dates. Sure, he’d love to spoil you with the stars and more, but he knows you like it calm- fr, you two are actually the cutest when it comes to staying up late and just messing around with no care in the world 💕 also, nature dates? Small picnics in the park?? I bet he’d love to go hiking with you. He likes to point out cool flowers or pretty weeds whenever you two are outside for even the shortest amount of time

𖥸 He loves watching horror movies with you.. even though they scare him a little bit LMAO- but just cuddling with you as your favorite movie plays in the background is simply heaven to him. Maybe you can turn him into a psychological horror buff!!

𖥸 He is also the king of words of affirmation~ the dude loves to remind you about how much you mean to him and how confident you make him feel within himself

You two really are couple goals imo 💕💕💕

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡

Gahhh!! I was so excited to ship you with someone!! Thank you so much for requesting!! Also! Don’t worry about long bios in your matchup requests! The longer they are the more mod Ara and I can assess who’s best for you! Its definitely preferable. I hope you enjoy who I match you with. ^w^

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 . . .

⠀

𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐨 !

runner-up : hanta sero

In my opinion, I feel that Mina is the perfect match for you!! First lets get some compatible basics out of the way. Like our good friend Kirishima above, Minas MBTI is also an ESFP (according to the personality database lol). As we know, ESFPs tend to be the most compatible with ISTJs. To add onto that, Mina just so happens to be a Leo!! Leos and Sagittarius's are often compared to soulmates and having a twin flame like connection! It’s a little scary how well you two fit each other, personality dynamics and all. Though you may have been cautious and quiet at first meet, Mina most likely pestered and wiggled her way into your life! She loves making new friends anyhow, and saw no issue in going out of her way to talk to you every chance she could. Now becoming your girlfriend later on would just be an added bonus for her! You better believe she finds your bravery admirable, it drives right up her alley. The two of you would make an absolute power couple, even a fan favorite!! Often, she’d make jokes or even play along with ones that you make in return, just to be able to hear your laughter. It fills her stomach with butterflies and she’s near falling apart at the seams with every melodic giggle. Get ready to be showered in compliments and praise, that’s this girls specialty, and she’d happily fluster you any day with her sickeningly sweet words. 

𖥸 Mina would probably ask you to spar with her a lot. Practicing new moves and quirk related techniques. God knows she loves staying active, and doing something she deems this fun with someone she loves. It makes the moment even more worth while. With your experience in gymnastics, you’d find that you’re able to run circles around this girl with your skill. Afterwards she’d probably offer a massage to ease any sore muscles. 

𖥸 Now as much as Mina would probably prefer a night on the town as a date, she would not think twice about choosing a secluded casual option for your comforts sake. Be that stargazing or even staying in to watch one of those horror films  that you love oh so much over popcorn and sodas. (She’s actually terrified of them, and has a weak stomach, but she’d never tell you that.) 

𖥸 Aimless car drives. Picture the sun setting, painting the sky in a soft pink and an orange hue flickering off of the distant buildings. Your preferred indie song blaring through the speaker while the two of you belt out the lyrics. Neither of you can hear each other over the sound of the wind rolling in through open windows, or how high she cranked the volume. You’ll definitely have to be the one to turn it back down, she can’t help but love loud music, even if the music wasn’t intended to be loud in the first place lol. 

𖥸 Don’t be surprised if she comes to you one day with a gift bag in hand. Every time she goes into a store she has to come out with something that reminds her of you. She’s not even aware of it either until you point it out. This could range from something as simple as your favorite drink to a giant teddy bear that she claimed resembled you. The possibilities are endless. 

𖥸 My word is she in love, infatuated even. That one night she caught you dancing about in the kitchen, probably making a late night snack, she couldn’t look away. In fact, she still thinks about it from time to time. How happy and carefree you looked lip-syncing the lyrics, in the silliest kinds of pjs you owned. She tried to sneak her way in, trying her best to not to make you jump in surprise, though she probably failed with how eager she actually zoomed in. Her love for dancing couldn’t go unnoticed here, oh no, not now. She brought you in close with a twirl under her arm, her smile the widest you’ve seen it. Her flirty nature, only for you, had her compliments laced with sugar and honey. Who knows how long the two of you spent dancing and goofing off to your playlist in that darned kitchen. 

Gosh the two of you make me squeal!! There’s absolutely no way you aren’t made for each other!  

𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫

𝐠𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 !

[offbrandmercyplates]

I should put a title here but I don't know what to put AAA

Tumblr User invader-amethyst: *Has a Greek Gods AU headcanon*

Emmibee: “Hey fic writers, feel free to write—”

Me: *Throws self into the computer screen Super Mario 64 style* I’VE BEEN SUMMONED.

So, yep! invader-amethyst sent in an ask with a Greek Gods AU idea, and Emmibee gave it a stamp of approval. Thus, I wrote. This one actually took a few tries to get started, but I think I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. See you at the bottom!

 ***

The Unseen One’s Lesson on Loneliness

The Underworld, for the most part, was made up of stone tunnels and caverns that were bathed a deep blue by the numerous crystals on the walls and ceilings. The entrances to these tunnels and caverns often shifted around, by their own will or the will of their king, which created an infinite combination of paths to wander and explore. Condensation would drip from stalactites into little puddles that never grew or shrank, and the drips and drops echoed throughout the Underworld in a way that soothed some and unnerved most. The goddess of spring was part of the former.

Kore was currently sitting in a cavern with a floor of damp, loamy soil. It had been the first gift given to her by the god of death in person, rather than secretly left for her to discover.

She enjoyed feeling the soil with her hands, watching it fall between her fingers and smooth over her palms. She was, admittedly, a bit indecisive, and had yet to choose what she would grow in this new garden first. Since food was ample in the Underworld, flowers seemed to be the best option, but which flowers should she grow first? Should she start small, with some bushes of roses? Something thematically appropriate to the setting, like some branches of belladonna? So many choices, but which would be just right?

Hence why she was simply enjoying the sensation of dirt on her skin; damp enough to form a shape when pressed, but dry enough not to stick.

A slight tickling sensation on her smallest finger, buried under the soil, made her lift her gaze to see a pale, wriggling string crawl its way across the dirt. A worm friend!

Kore flipped onto her stomach and gently patted the worm. Mm, yes. This was some good soil her husband got her if there were worm friends to find.

The little worm stilled at her touch. Its back end lifted and made what looked like a “come here” gesture before it disappeared under the dirt.

Curious, Kore carefully dug a hole around the worm until she found a small, dead plant. She cradled it in her hands. It was a limp, vine-like stem with wrinkly brown tubes clustered along it. There were no roots, suggesting it had been plucked before being buried there.

Kore smiled. Here was her answer.

She closed her eyes and felt energy, warmth, and light pulse into the plant, which she lowered to the ground so it could take root. She let it stand on its own once it had the strength, and she could hear the soft crinkle of petals regaining their vigor.

She opened her eyes and admired the clusters of red tube-shaped flowers on the bush. It wasn’t very big at all, especially in this huge cavern, but the fiery red blossoms seemed to glow like a real fire in the cool darkness. “Erica flowers,” she said. Then, calling over her shoulder: “In the language of flowers, they mean ‘loneliness’. I don’t suppose you knew that, did you?”

There was a clattering sound, like a rock balanced on a stalagmite had been knocked over suddenly. Then Hades was standing next to her. “How did you know I was here?”

“I always know when you’re here,” she replied, tapping the blooms and watching them bounce slightly at her touch.

“I was wearing my Helm of Darkness. Not even a god can sense me when I wear it.”

“Good thing I’m a goddess, then, eh?”

“Kore…” he stopped himself, and she looked up to see him worrying at the handle of his golden staff.

“It’s okay,” she grinned up at him. “I like it when you call me by my name.”

He adjusted his gold-rimmed glasses. She patted the ground beside her, and after a moment, he carefully lowered himself next to her. “The flowers of loneliness…” he hummed to himself.

“Why was it down here?” Kore asked.

“…I was out one day,” he replied, “working on the surface, when I came across a bushel much like this one. My… knowledge of flowers is limited, so flowers shaped like these were strange. I felt a strong draw to them, so I took a branch-full, only to remember too late that I can’t touch most living things. It died in my hand.” He stared hard at the flowers. “The flowers of loneliness,” he repeated. “I suppose it makes some sense.”

“What does?”

“We are alone when we die. A fitting end for a flower meant to symbolize this truth.”

Kore frowned. “Well…” she paused a moment. “I don’t know about that. Look at how many of them there are.” She took his boney hand and guided it to the cluster of red. “You can’t really say they’re alone when they’re bunched together like this. And even when you touched them, they all went together.” His fingertip brushed a blossom, and it didn’t wither. “So they might feel lonely, but they’re not actually as alone as they think they are.” Her hand closed around his and she looked into his eye sockets. “They’re not alone.”

The thrumming echo of dripping water rang in the silence as they looked at each other. Eye sockets, one closed and one wide open, stared into a pair of eyes full of life. His jaw bone was slightly slack, and her smile was warm and gentle.

After a moment, her smile turned a little mischievous. “So… why were you wearing your Helm of Darkness?”

Hades’ skull flushed. “I-it’s not strange for me to have it!”

“In your own territory?”

“I—! Well—! It… may be a habit at this point… when I watch you… it’s not creepy!”

“It isn’t,” Kore laughed. “It just means you’re shy.”

“The god of death is not shy!”

“The god of death is, however, someone who talks about himself in the third person.”

“That means the god of death knows that he’s important.”

The goddess of spring leaned lightly against her husband. “That, he is.”

“Strange woman.” He took a stronger hold of her hand.

“Stubborn old man.” She bumped his shoulder with her head.

***

A major inspiration for the flower I chose for this story came from the second Black Butler Musical, which featured a deep theme about Erica flowers and the loneliness of death. Erica flowers are also called heaths (which are different from but related to heather flowers), and after multiple Google searches, it seems the “fire heath” is the color that means loneliness. Most Erica flowers are white, purple, or pink, but those colors are generally more positive (purple does often mean solitude, though).

Roses, as we know, mean love, which would be perfect for Kore and Hades being in love (and married-ish?); and belladonnas are also called deadly nightshade, which is why it would have been thematic to the setting of the Underworld.

Kore calls Hades her husband, but I’m not actually sure if they’re married in our human sense of the term. Would they have an official “tying of the knot” or would it be more like just something they agree on that’s acknowledged by all the gods?

Where are all the spirits in the Underworld? … Ssh…

*points at the worm* WORM FRIEND! WORM FRIEND!

I originally wanted to include this somewhere in the story, but I imagine that Hades found the Erica flower the day before he saw Kore for the first time. Perfect timing!

Speaking of Hades and Kore, Hades would usually wear his Helm of Darkness when watching Kore from the shadows, and even though she’s bound to the Underworld now, the habit of feeling unseen is hard to break (he’s called the Unseen One for a reason, after all.) How is Kore able to sense him, even when most gods wouldn’t be able to? Perhaps something deeply entwines their souls, deeper than the magic of the helm.

Alright, I think those were the major things I wanted to say. With Ms. Emmibee’s permission, I’ll be posting this to my AO3 and FFN accounts soon. Thanks to invader-amethyst for sending out the spark for this story, and of course to Ms. Emmibee for coming up with this whole AU (and the AUs within that AU). I’ll see you around. Until then!

~~~~~

AAAAA I love this so much!!!!!!

1) I love how you always put meanings into the flowers!!

2) They’re definitely married in some sense; probably had a small, private ceremony with just them and some officiant. Or do gods need an officiant? They pretty much ARE the highest authority.

3) WORM FRIEND

4) I feel like Gaster is just going to be awkward no matter what universe he’s in. Sweet awkward man.

5) Please do post it! I can’t wait to see it!!!!!

Many thanks again for this wonderful story!!!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The OTHER Members of Eve’s Coven

Me and @lilmissrantsypants couldn’t fit all the coven in as cameos in chapter 3, so here’s a rundown on the members who didn’t make an appearance. I added some of the stuff that inspired us into making the characters, My wife just went crazy with descriptions for her characters.

Aleister & Tantomile Deering: A pair of twins who were orphaned during WWII. They had to scrape by to survive, with Tantomile whoring herself out for drug money. They were turned when Aleister begged for help as his sister was overdosing. They were plagued by psychic visions as mortals, their powers awakening fully when they were turned. They are practically inseperable nowadays.

Power: Aleister and Tantomile have innate psychic abilities, activated by touching someone. Tantomile can see into a person’s past, while Aleister can see multiple outcomes the future could hold and then latch on to the most likely scenario. Their vampiric power is a twin link that allows them to experience the emotions the other one does, as well as keep them connected.

Inspiration: The psychic cat twins Tantomile and Coripocat from Cats 

My wife came up with the basic concept and we workshopped them together from there; it’s a joint effort. She does Tantomile, I do Aleister.

Bartholomew Comstock: An overly aggressive puritan who was despised by his fellow townsfolk, he was banished from his New England home and forced to start a farm on his own. He nearly perished in the winter before Eve turned him. His hatred at being a disgusting, demonic creature such as a vampire is only ameliorated by his knowledge that Eve, having once been the angel Samael, ‘confirms’ his beliefs and allows him to eternally punish those he views as sinners.

Power: He believes his power gives him great strength against sinners, allowing him to inflict pain upon those who have done foul deeds. In truth, it is actually his own sins that give him strength, though his power does weaken as he exerts himself or runs low on blood (he cannot become unstoppably powerful).

Inspiration: The dad from The VVitch

Beatrix Cullen: Beatrix Cullen was a happy woman once, a skilled seamstress in the 1950s who simply loved the act of creation. She had an adoring boyfriend, and the two were set to be married, with Beatrix making a gorgeous wedding dress for her special day. But on that day, her groom never arrived, as he had been killed in a car accident on the way. Stricken by grief, Beatrix was easily convinced by Eve to join her coven, with the promise that perhaps her power could help her bring her husband back some day...

Power: Beatrix can imbue any object such as a sculpture or statue with life, essentially making golems without a magic scroll. Her most trusted golem is her mannequin, Manny, who often tries to steal her wedding dress. Her ultimate goal is to use her natural skills and her power to bring her husband back to life, stitching a Frankenstein monster of him and pieces of sleazy men who hit on her into a perfect flesh golem.

Inspirations: The bride from the Haunted Mansion, Kill Bill, Frankenstein, that one Tumblr post about 50s housewives fighting zombies with chainsaws, La Pascualita, Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh

Blanche Atterton: Daughter of Lady Drusilla Atterton, she grew up wanting nothing more than her mother’s love, though her mother was often far too preoccupied with “other things” (which she later learned was all of her plotting and planning to ensure her riches).When given the choice for vampirism, she excitedly vowed her loyalty to her mother and Eve. As she was only 15 at the time and children would not survive the turning, her mother waited until she turned 21 before turning her.Blanche does everything for her mother’s attention and love. She doesn’t hesitate to do her bidding in hopes of her mother praising her for it. She’s misguided, not evil, though her mother’s praise has given her a superiority complex and she’s a bit of a narcissist.

Power:  Blanche’s power gives her a powerful, painful scream. Those within 5 feet of her screaming will suffer from temporary deafness for 5 minutes. Whether they fall deaf or not, bleeding from the ears is very common, especially among mortals.

Inspiration: Drizella from Cinerella

Dee Comporre: Giorgio Nero’s faithful, somewhat obsessed bodyguard. She quite obviously has a crush on him due to her hatred of any woman who so much as interacts with Giorgio, though Giorgio just sees her as being a bit overprotective. She has a shaved head, and paints her face to look like a skull.

Power: She can secrete and spit a powerful corrosive acid that can melt through even metal.

Inspirations: D’Compose from InHumanoids

Dorian Ferris: A serial killer known as “The Ferryman,” who always leaves coins over his victim’s eyes. As a mortal, he had far too many close calls, and was nearly caught several times, particularly during a bout in a town back in 1999. He tends to target wicked people such as domestic abusers, rapists, crooked cops, and so on, sending them down the River Styx ahead of time to make the world a better place. He willingly joined the coven to escape punishment. More than anything, he just wishes to live a quiet, peaceful life.

Power: Has luck manipulation, which can allow him to do everything from dodge attacks by near misses or turn his surroundings into a Final Destination movie for opponents. He tends to activate a particular mode based on the whims of a coin toss. 

Inspirations: Jinx from Teen Titans, Final Destinatiin, Two-Face, Yoshikage Kira

Elizabeth Bathory:   The Blood Countess herself. After evading death in the 1600s thanks to Eve, she became a loyal follower of the demon, and was recruited into the Order of the 1800s. Dracula and Rasputin managed to defeat her and supposedly kill her, but Bathory is notoriously hard to slay. True to her infamous reputation, she tends to “Feed” by bathing in the blood of her victims. 

Power:Bathing in blood gives her an insane power boost; the longer she soaks, the stronger she gets. She can also absorb blood through her skin, though she can’t absorb the blood of supernatural beings this way.

Elvis Rey: Growing up near the border, Elvis always wanted to be like his hero, Elvis PResley. He obsessively watched the man’s performances and learned his every move. When the man died, he vowed he was going to become the greatest Elvis impersonator that ever lived. The 80s weren’t too kind to him, and drinking, gambling, and overeating left him looking like chubby later-years Elvis. With debt collectors crawling down his neck, he turned to Eve, and became a powerful vampire.

Power: He is capable of replicating any non-supernatural ability he sees. For example, if he watched a martial arts movie, he would be able to pull off those moves. Think the comic book character Taskmaster. 

Inspirations: Elvis (Presley), Elvis (God Hand)

Giorgio Nero: Giorgio Nero was a member of Cosa Nostra who attempted to retire from this life due to his wife and child. However, his past would eventually catch up with him, and his child was nearly killed, which lead to Giorgio accepting an offer he had once rejected, but now couldn’t refuse: vampirism and joining with Eve’s coven. Despite everything, he is an honorable man who dearly loved his wife and adores and accepts his child.

Power: You know Magneto? Like from X-Men? Imagine that but instead of a Holocaust survivor it’s an Italian guy. Boom.

Inspirations: Magneto, Risotto Nero from Vento Aureo, Metlar from InHumanoids

James Wilson: James was born in 1812 as a slave. When he was 8, he was gifted to the man one of his master’s daughters married, along with 13 other slaves. As his former master’s name was Wilson, he took that as his surname. He worked as a stablehand until he became a farmer at age 12. After a rather brutal beating when he accidentally dropped a bag of freshly picked potatoes at age 25, James encountered Eve. She promised to help free him. She turned him into a vampire (1837). He lived on the run until the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and went into full effect in 1863. James used to speak in thick, Gullah speech, but over time, it has lessened as he acquired modern language.

Power: James’s power gives him the ability to summon and play with water. He can use it however he wishes: to drown someone, to create a small unnatural pool to swim in, or to cool someone off with a quick sprinkle. This comes from his silent love for water, though he wasn’t ever allowed to swim or play in it.

Inspiration: Splash Mountain

Juno Nero: The child of Giorgio Nero. They tend to wear long black coats, masks, and facial bandages to hide their face and body due to extreme anxiety. They are mute as well, and communicate via sign language. They are nonbinary.

Power: They can stretch their body like rubber (think Elastigirl, Rubber Band Man, Plastic Man, you get the idea).

Inspiration: Tendril from InHumanoids

Lady Drusilla Atterton: Born in 1852 in England as Drusilla Graham to a middle-class family. She grew up idolizing the wealthy and decided she would do whatever it took to become wealthy herself.Met Josiah Kipling, a 28 year old man, when she was 22. He fell madly in love with her. She was overjoyed as he was quite wealthy. They married in 1874 and had two daughters together (Katharine [1875] and Blanche [1877]). However, after 8 years of marriage (1882), Drusilla (now age 30) fell out of love with him and secretly laced his food with rat poison, ultimately killing him. As they had personal chefs, it was deemed to be the fault of the chef, who was arrested and charged with the crime. As his widow, she inherited a share of his wealth.Over the next 10 years (1882-1892), Drusilla married 8 other wealthy men from all over the country, all who mysteriously died less than a year later in what were deemed to be unfortunate accidents.

Donald Thompson, married in 1883, died in a carriage accident.

Maurice Parker, married in 1884, died of a laudanum overdose.

Timothy Edwards, married in 1886, died by drowning

Christopher Watson, married in 1887, died by falling out of a second story window

Nathaniel Harris, married in 1888, died of apparent suicide

Bernard Carter, married in 1890, died of a hunting accident

Percy Clarke, married in 1891, died after being attacked by a burglar

Timothy Atterton, married in 1892, died in bed (cause unknown)

She met Eve in 1892 shortly after marrying Timothy Atterton. Eve had heard of her reputation as the Cursed Widow (but knew full well her husbands’ deaths were her doing). As Eve was extremely weakened, Amon turned her. With Eve’s assistance, she killed her final husband by scaring him to death by introducing him to Eve. Drusilla vowed her loyalty.With the knowledge of how to turn another from Eve (as Amon refused to tell her how), Drusilla offered the gift of vampirism to each of her daughters. Katharine ( refused and cut herself off from her mother, instead choosing to live a full and honest life. Blanche, on the other hand, being so keen to be accepted and loved by her mother vowed her own loyalty to both her mother and Eve. When she turned 21, Drusilla turned her as well (as she was informed that youth would not survive the turning).

Power: Her  power allows her to paralyze her target with a simple cold stare for a full 5 minutes.

Inspiration: Lady Tremaine from Cinderella

Lord Gordon Ruthven: A rich, aristocratic vampire who enjoyed luring in and preying on young women. He was part of the Order of the 19th century. He is currently a severed head, as his body was destroyed by the Silverwings.

Power: Can exude a charm aura that makes women more susceptible to his commands and desires, though it only works on women capable of being attracted to him (it would not work on lesbains, for instance).

Mabel Lockhart: A sickly young girl whose father made a deal with Eve to keep her from dying. Her dad is currently missing, and she is unsure if he’s even alive.

Power: She has the ability to absorb energy, such as steam energy, electrical energy, etc and gain boosts and power depending on what type she absorbs. For example, absorbing electrical energy would allow her to to shoot lightning. She can also absorb a person’s energy, but at most she can make them very lethargic and gets little else from absorbing that sort of energy.

Inspiration: Loosely based on the Pokemon Magearna

Maddox Hinton: Maddox was born in 1863 in a small town in England. He doesn’t talk much about his past, but he does boast about how he and his father were valued hypnotists in their small town. He was his father’s apprentice, learning how the art of hypnotism worked, though he wasn’t quite as successful as his father. This was what Eve used to convince him to turn to vampirism. It occurred when he was 25 and preparing to take over the family business.His power helped him convince his customers that they were actually under the effects of hypnotism. His father simply believed that taking over the business helped him tap into his true potential. 

He continued this way until Eve demanded his help. He lied to his dad, telling him he was going to travel abroad and spread their business, causing his father to take over the business once again.Maddox served Eve for a few years before she told him she didn’t need his help anymore. It was likely this that irritated him so much that he eventually became loyal to Amon while under the very convincing facade he’s loyal to Eve.

The rest of his past is unknown. All he will often tell people is he traveled all over the world, performing great feats under fake names as “world-renown hypnotists”. Maddox is a wild card. He does things for the fun of it or for his own pleasure, often without any sympathy towards others.

Power: Maddox’s power allows him to take control of another (similarly to Gabby’s). However, he can take control of up to two people at once. Instead of physically puppeteering them, he simply suggests they do something and they do it.

Inspiration: Vex from Lost Girl

Margaret Derwin: Margaret was born in New York City in 1902. She grew up with a love for music, particularly singing. She had dreams of becoming a famous singer.When she was 18, she pursued these dreams. She got a job as a dancer at a speakeasy with hopes of, eventually, being able to become one of their singers in time. It was there that she met Elizabeth, one of the other dancers. They secretly fell in love (which answered Margaret’s confusion about why she wasn’t interested in men). Eventually, they decided to run away to California together. They made plans and prepared for this, but on the day it was to happen, Elizabeth never showed up. Margaret later discovered she had changed her mind and, instead, was going to marry a man she’d met at the speakeasy.Eve found Margaret heartbroken and wandering the streets looking for a new job after quitting at the speakeasy (as it was too difficult to continue working there when Elizabeth was still there). Eve easily wooed her to her side. Though, as Margaret had good intentions, Amon had eventually been able to convince her to assist him instead as he wanted to ensure Eve would stop preying on innocent people like herself.

Power:  Margaret’s power involves her voice. Through singing, she can influence one’s emotions depending on her intentions (anger them, seduce them, calm them down, soothe them to sleep).

Nora: Nora’s memories are very faded. She knows she was born to a very poor family in Ireland. She knows she was sold as an indentured servant at age 13 in exchange for her tickets to America, board, and food. She knows she worked for that American family for 7 years. She knows she caught influenza and was promptly fired by the family for fear she’d infect them all. She knows she was near death, wandering the streets alone, when a massive black snake promised to save her. At the time, Nora believed it was just an illusion. She found out the next day, however, that it was not. She’d been saved by the gift of vampirism.Nora lived a long, long time as a homeless woman. She watched as America grew into a country of its own. She preyed on any she could find in order to survive. Eventually, she took residence in an abandoned house on a street. Over time, rumors spread that a ghost lived in the house on Blackwell Street. Her appearance and her power did much to add to this as well, as did the occasional mysterious deaths of those who wandered into the house hoping to catch a glimpse of the ghost.

Power: Nora’s power allows her to become visible or invisible on command. She can only switch from one to the other every 10 minutes. She often uses this to frighten mortals and uphold her identity as the Ghost of Blackwell Street.

Tony Sugar:  Tony Sugar is the owner, spokesman, and iconic figure of the Lost Paradise Candy Company. With the help of Amon, he became one of the first successful Black candy makers in America. He’s very flamboyant, campy, and charismatic—essentially a black Willy Wonka. He is pansexual because, in his own words, “everyone deserves a little Sugar.” He is also an avid beekeeper.

Power:  He has the power to “mellify” corpses, filling them with a honey-like substance and turning them into zombies.

Inspirations: Tony Todd’s Candyman, Ruby Rhod, the song “Sweet Bod,” the myth of the mellified man

Walter Sherman: Formerly a college professor and devoted family man from the dawn of the 20th century, Walter was a good man known for always thinking forward and being able to accept new changes in the world. However, when a freak accident claimed the life of his wife and child, he couldn’t handle it and attempted suicide before being saved by Amon. He’s mostly in the coven out of loyalty to Amon.

Power: He has the power of adaptability, allowing him to easily adapt to any situation. For example, using lightning against him would make him adapt lightning resistance.

Inspirations: The Carousel of Progress

Wayne Nicol: A formerly friendly clown who was forced to witness unspeakable horrors during WWII. He survived the horrors, but was left fundamentally disturbed by the nightmare he had lived through. He joined the coven hoping to find some sort of safety, but as it turned out, Eve had other plans.

Power: Has the power to control and manipulate a person’s fears to weaponize against them.

Inspirations: Scarecrow (Batman), Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, The Day the Clown Cried

[thetypedwriter]

The Ruin of Kings Book Review

The Ruin of Kings Book Review by Jenn Lyons

Boy, oh, boy, was this a wild ride. 

Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I occasionally delve into adult fiction here and there. I mainly stick to my vegetarian course of YA novels, but every once in a while I can’t help but  pick up a slice of bacon, or in this case, an adult fiction book.

Or, even more specifically, I suppose it would be more accurate to say that it’s adult fantasy instead of fiction. High fantasy at that, which is characterized by a whole new world with fantastical elements and not just a novel in the known primary world with fantasy elements.

With that literary lesson out of the way, let me get started. 

The Ruin of Kings by Jenn Lyons came recommended by one of my favorite book bloggers, Paperfury. She counted this as one of her most recent book obsessions she couldn’t stop thinking about and in general I trust her judgement (although she was way way off on The Queen of Nothing, yikes). 

This massive installment is definitely not the short and sweet page length I’m used to with YA, and neither does it have the comforting and large font that makes me feel like an accomplished reader after just an hour of skimming. 

No, this installment is large and beefy and could probably give someone a concussion if you threw it at them, so just keep that in mind. 

The whole fantasy revolves around a boy named Khirin. Khirin is your typical fantasy hero, equipped with the luscious blonde hair and the sparkling blue eyes and most importantly, the wickedly sharp tongue reminiscent of a male character from the Cassandra Clare universe.

He’s sharp, he’s witty, he’s charming, and he also has terrible, terrible luck. 

Or does he?

When you first meet Khirin he is being sold as a slave to the highest bidder. He’s cold, he’s injured, he’s starving, and he’s broken. You, as a reader at this point, are completely and irrevocably confused. 

You’re thinking: Who is this boy? What is happening to him? Why are people betting so much money for him? What’s with this necklace around his neck? Where did he come from? Where are we? What world is this? Where is he going? What the hell is going on???

To say that Lyons starts out strong would be underhanded hyperbole. You are forcibly drop-kicked into the fantasy world of Qurr and its many raging empires and states, and putting them all together is frankly daunting and largely impossible until a good chunk of the book is devoured. 

Frankly, I still have trouble figuring out all the locations and gods and god-kings and factions and lore and people and how they’re all related, Game of Thrones style. But that’s part of the fun. 

One of my biggest complaints with YA is that the reader is generally treated like they’re pretty stupid. 

Often a YA author feels the need to explain every single iteration and modicum of interaction between their characters or spend too much time describing things, and it leaves very little for interpretation or inference on the side of the reader. Lyons is almost the complete opposite, which is as refreshing as it is frustrating.

As you are introduced to Khirin and this gargantuan universe that Lyons has created, you will feel stupid. To be fair, I enjoyed it most of the time. I relished the challenge of learning to differentiate all the different families of the Court of Gems, of distinguishing the Goddess Thaena from the Goddess Tya.

I liked when I was finally able to smugly look at the map at the beginning and recognize all of the city states like Doltar or Kirpis or Manol. I liked when I understood the different races like the Thriss or the vané and the implications of what that meant. 

If that was a whole load of word vomit for you, that’s okay. 

Again, it’s part of the fun. 

What I do want you to get out of this, however, is the knowledge that Lyons has created an expansive universe with multiple creatures, including dragons and witches, rivaling royal families, gods reminiscent of the Greek Gods and their interference with human affairs, a rivaling world split with so many seams that you’re not even sure who to root for, an emperor, magical jewelry, demons and even a dose of piracy and musical competition. 

This book honestly has a little of everything — which, to be fair, it should, considering how damn long it takes to get through it’s never-ending pages. 

To make this as simplified as possible, the plot goes like this:

Khirin is sold into slavery and finds himself in the hands of a group called the Black Brotherhood. Over time, Khirin learns about this group and their intentions, learns more about himself and the Stone of Shackles (the necklace he wears around his neck), divulges his past and how he got sold into slavery in the first place-his upbringing, his musical talent, his stay at the Blue Palace, his eventual betrayal at the hands of someone he loves. 

You learn over the course of each chapter what brought Khirin to his current fate and more of what he is trying to do now,: which is to return home and save the world from the likes of the two main antagonists (although not all of them by any means), Gadrith and Darzin.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that is the most bare- bones summary I have ever written. But honestly, this book is about a hero named Khirin and his adventure to rid the world of evil as he learns about himself and his past. 

Like many, many, other books before it, this book explores what it means to be a hero, what it means to be a god, what it means to be involved with the fight of good vs. evil. This book is not special in that sense regarding these themes. 

However, there are some really cool aspects of this novel that I thoroughly enjoyed that I’ll relay now that the summary (as condensed as it is, sorry) is out of the way. 

The two things I enjoyed most about this book were the writing itself and the POV. Most high fantasy novels that I’ve attempted to read have this ridiculous notion that every character must speak in some dead medieval language rife with historical inaccuracies and banal, clipped speech. Lyons does nothing of the sort.

 Her characters are creative and crass and downright funny. The dialogue is immersive and natural and oftentimes, other than the backdrop of a dragon or lizard-people, it felt like two modern-day people were having a conversation, which I greatly appreciated. 

Lyons is also a very big fan of building up her writing and then smacking you down at the pinnacle. For example:

“Before us lay the Mother of Trees.

I didn’t understand what I was seeing. I couldn’t comprehend. It just seemed like a humongous wall at first, one that had been built up with palaces and verandas, graceful pavilions, and stained-glass windows glittering like jewels. Only when I looked up could I perceive the sweep of branches, the distance velvet of green leaves. This was a tree to hold up the whole world, the sort of place where Galava must live, if any place were consecrated to her. It seemed ageless and immortal, a tree that had always and would always exist. 

Naturally, we were setting it on fire.”

I personally found this style of writing hilarious. Lyons often built up the tension, beauty, or conflict, and then would deliver these one-liners that would leave me gasping with laughter. This creative juxtaposition was super enjoyable and one that made the book a big success for me. 

Secondly, while this book is told almost entirely (keyword almost -there are some outlier chapters) from Khirin’s perspective, it technically oscillates between present Khirin and past Khirin. 

The whole book switches from one timeline to another every other chapter, with the chapter starting with Khirin being sold into slavery being the “present” and told from Khirin’s first-person POV and then switching the next chapter to his “past” and being told from Khirin’s third-person POV. 

I loved this. I thought this was so creative, and up to this point, I have never seen this done in another book. The subtle shift from first to third person every chapter, but still from the perspective of the same character, was so interesting and complex. 

I loved that we were simultaneously getting current-day Khirin, but also Khirin from two years ago telling us the events that led up to the present. It was imaginative and intriguing, and I loved trying to fill in the holes before the book presented me with it (which even then was difficult). 

In addition, throughout the whole book are also footnotes from another crucial character that offer information, clarification, and also humor. While I’ve primarily read footnotes in academic papers to cite sources or offer commentary, these footnotes were just as fictional as the rest of the story, but offered insight outside of Khirin that was often dripping in sarcasm, irony, or humor.

 I thought it was another really creative way for Lyons to get across information without boring everyone half to death or releasing a 100- page guidebook to help you along. 

Bottom line, people,: This book isn’t for everyone. High fantasy in general is not for everyone. That’s okay. It’s not usually my taste either, at least not the adult fictional kind, but something about this book really intrigued me. 

Moreso than the actual plot, which is confusing, I enjoyed the writing, the suspense, and the act of playing detective. It’s been so long since I’ve read a book that’s made me think this hard, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. That being said, the same praise is a double-edged sword. 

If you don’t want to have to think and draw out charts and make graphs on Excel, then perhaps this is not the book for you. 

If you don’t like high fantasy or made-up worlds, or very interconnected family dynamics, then this is not the book for you. This book also contains elements that can be triggering to some, like rape, drugs, character death, violence, imprisonment, slavery, etc.

When I say this book has everything, I mean it has everything. And that can be good or bad depending on the person. For me, I liked it. However, I did get frustrated at certain points at the lack of clarification more than once, just for full disclosure. 

Recommendation: If you’ve been bereft ever since the Game of Thrones disaster-of-a-finale, then you are not alone. The Ruin of Kings has everything you’ve ever wanted in a high fantasy book: action, kings, queens, palaces, war, dragons, magic and so much more. 

This book was creative and funny and complex, and if you’re willing to sink your teeth and time into a universe that demands attention then you’ll find yourself rewarded with a brand-new world to fall in love with and characters that you can’t seem to forget.

Score: 8/10

[adonis-koo]

Three’s a crowd

| 4 |

Plot: (CEO AU) When your mom’s fairytale life begins to bleed over into your world you’re suddenly caught between two men and one big secret, what was suppose to be a relaxing trip soon begins to spiral out of control. All you wanted was a free vacation...

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader/Jimin, Hoseok/Reader, Taehyung/Reader,

Genre: Smut, angst, drama, angst with a happy ending

Word count: 10k

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Tags: Rough sex, body worship, spanking, hair pulling, degradation kink, daddy kink, thigh riding, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, creamiepies, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving),  dom!jungkook,

Warning ⚠️ This fic touches on drug use, alcoholism and abuse. Please read with caution if any of these things are triggers for you 🖤

Jimin had that look on his face and the way he bit his lip, you could immediately tell he was not expecting you to reject him again for dinner. It was only 6 o’clock but you didn’t want to ruin your appetite for your date. You admittedly felt excited for it. You hadn’t been on a date in over a year, having resorted to one night stands made it easier since you never had time for a relationship. Any guy who had attempted often left upset at being put on the waitlist in priorities sense you worked two jobs.

To be honest you didn’t know what to tell any of them. It’s not that you were never interested or you had side pieces. You just worked the 3rd shift at a psych ward and 1st and 2nd at a bakery leaving you with four hours of sleep on a good day. Which you didn’t want to spend awake for a movie, or a walk in the park. Especially at some god awful fancy restaurant.

You supposed it was ironic sense that was exactly where you were being took but the difference was it was an actual upper class restaurant with food that was the price of your monthly rent. Jimin didn’t know any of this though. And quite frankly you figured it was for the best, he had been persistent about getting you to atleast eat with him. 

You’d admire his effort but regardless he was going to be your step brother. You couldn’t live knowing you slept with him even if it was before your parents got married. You were warming up to the idea but not enough to ever fall through with it. He sighed not looking pleased at all, eyes flashing with irritation and his smile gritty,  “You really like testing my patience, don’t you sweetheart?”

You couldn’t stop the scoff from escaping your lips, was he really going to act offended you were rejecting him? “No I’d like to remind you our parents are going to get married. That’s weird, I don’t know about you but that’s really weird for me.” You replied as you crossed your arms, leaning on your door frame.

Even if he was a good lay, and you’d imagine he definitely was- it didn’t matter. Sure your integrity wasn’t high but it was still there like damn, you weren’t just gonna let this happen. Not only was it weird but it wasn’t right either, you weren’t going to potentially compromise your mom’s happiness for an orgasm you could easily get else where. 

Jimin exhaled sharply through his nose looking annoyed before regaining his cool demeanor though his stiff posture didn’t surpass you as he answered, “Yes but that doesn’t make us siblings. We’re adults Y/n. Legality doesn’t mean anything except in the states eyes.”

True as that was you still didn’t quite believe it, even if your mom never found out that didn’t change that fact that once wasn’t guaranteed. You weren’t an idiot, in situations like these it was a slippery slope, first it was just one time, then a second and third. Even if it wasn’t likely your mom would find out, if she did...You’d never be able to face her again, sighing you shook your head, “Well then if that’s the case you won’t have a problem waiting sense it doesn’t matter. Goodnight Jimin.” You shut the door promptly not wanting to carry on the weird feeling conversation any longer.

Laying back down in bed you rested with what time you could. Physically you could’ve kept going but while on vacation you had the luxury of being able to rest mentally. Something you just had to muddle your way through on a regular day at work. You were able to just rejuvenate after an hour before you heard a knock on the door. 

Confused as to who it was you opened it unexpectedly. A maid was holding a large box, it was black and white with a long string of ribbon tied into a bow, “For you ma’am!” She said chipperly, handing the box over as you furrowed your brows. Watching her dash off to whatever duty she had next before shutting the door.

Setting the heavy box on the bed you untied the ribbon to open it. Gaping as you saw the wine red dress you had tried on earlier that day. Who could foot that kind of bill? Remembering the 4 million dollar mark flash in your eyes as you took it out of the box accompanied by a pair of matching heels. The bottom of the box though made you huff as you looked away. Picking up the small card message: Wear it for me babygirl - JJK

Except he wasn’t referring to the dress, no he was talking about the lingerie you’d imagine he must’ve picked out for you on his own time neatly folded at the bottom. He was thoughtful you’d give him that much.

It was nearing seven and you figured you’d might as well begin getting dressed. Peeling off your lounge wear before putting on the lingerie he had requested you wear first. The satin and lace was silky and just felt expensive, briefly you wondered how much it cost. It couldn’t be that expensive could it? Holding the lacy material in question you finally shook your head in disdain. It was just as soft as it felt in your hands. The fabric didn’t dig into your skin nor did it chafe. It was a bustier styled bra, cupping your breasts sitting them up high but it suited the cheeky panties well.

Considering Jungkook’s words from earlier he seemed to take on more classic designs. His taste in lingerie however was borderline raunchy, you supposed he had to make up for it somewhere along the line. Pulling the garner belt up before attaching your black sheer stockings to them. Resting for a minute before resuming your journey to finish getting dressed. Eventually you finished up your apparel, you had kept your makeup simple, knowing you’d most likely have a long night ahead if everything went well during your date. 

No less then five minutes after 8 you heard a knock. Opening the door as you clipped on your left earring. Jungkook had a hand against the door frame, looking almost predatory before smirking down at you, “Glad to see you got my gift.”

You couldn’t stop the snort from escaping your lips as you curved an eyebrow before replying, “Mhm you didn’t miss a single detail in my outfit, huh?” Knowing exactly what you meant as he grabbed ahold of your waist. Gentle but firm enough to lead you as he let his lips brush against your ear, “And you were a good girl and wore everything, right?”

Finally smirking you looked up at him, two could play this game if he really wanted to be like that. Shrugging you put on a falsely innocent expression, “Well I’m dressed, aren’t I?”

Jungkook’s eyes darkened slightly at your bratty response as his grip on your waist tightly slightly, “You wanna force me to check?” His lips brushed against your ear as he whispered, you could feel heat dripping between your thighs as a couple walked past you both as he continued, “I won’t hesitate to put you against the wall baby, they can all stare if they want, I don’t care.”

His words made your face flush and your body warm as you glanced away, unable to trust your mouth to speak as he lifted his neck back up. Gauging your reaction before snickering, “Oh that turns you on doesn’t it? The idea of people watching huh?”

You had begun to squeeze your thighs together as you took a deep breath, he was right, you did like the idea of him forcing your legs open and letting your wet cunt be on display for anyone to see, clearing your throat you decided to keep your dirty thoughts in your head as you spoke up, “Not even gonna ask how my day was? Not very gentleman like.” Trying to deflect his dirty talk as a new crowd of people had gotten off the elevator headed your way.

Jungkook looked down at you curving an eyebrow before scoffing, leaning back down against your ear as he replied lowly, “Sorry baby, but you didn’t seem like you wanted a gentleman back in that dressing room. Did you?”

Crossing your arms you look up at him sharply, not realizing the glaring pout on your lips that made him chuckle. Making you all the more huffy as you looked away. He was right, of course he was. Jungkook seemed like someone who read body language well and you must have been an open book. Getting in the empty elevator as Jungkook hit the 13th floor button.

“Did you behave like I asked?” You honestly didn’t expect him to be so blunt. He wasn’t gonna talk like this the entire night was he? You weren’t sure you were gonna last long enough for it.

Swallowing thickly you nodded, the stickiness in your panties making you shift a tad uncomfortable as you forced an answer, “Almost killed me but yeah.”

Jungkook paused for a moment judging your body language for any lies, knowing you were telling the truth he let his lips tug into a loose smile, “Good, if it makes you feel any better I’ve been suffering too. I wanted to wait for you.” It was the odd intimacy in his words that made your cheeks flair again rather then the words themselves. He had really suffered the boner just out of anticipation for tonight? “Oh out of curiosity...” you glanced up at Jungkook, watching him lick his lips as he asked, “Have you told Jimin about tonight?”

“No...?” You extended the word as you curved an eyebrow, suddenly turning to face him as you crossed your arms. Why would he ask that? And furthermore why would you tell Jimin out of anyone any of your business that went on in your bed. Watching his expression become passively sheepish at your suddenly suspicion, “Why would I tell him?”

Jungkook glanced away from you, unsure of what to say for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. Finally looking at you carefully as he shrugged, attempting to portray a casual response, “No reason. Just...be careful with him.” His eyes had such clear warning it was your turn to blink as your mouth became dry, “Not everyone is as upfront with their intentions as I am.”

What was that suppose to mean? Why did everyone speak in so cryptically? Sighing you shook your head deciding to just be blunt about this situation, “Look I’m not gonna sleep with him. Our parents are together and it’s just weird. Really weird. He can try all he wants but he isn’t gonna get anywhere.”

Jungkook only store at you for a minute, his eyes clouded with a strange sense of pity, before looking away altogether, opening his mouth as if wanting to say something but quickly closing it. As if thinking it would be better to be quiet, clearing his throat he gave a dry chuckle, resuming his charming expression as he looked back towards you, “Sorry about that, Jimin’s not really a fun topic. In my opinion atleast.”

“Well it definitely wouldn’t kill him to not always be so honest that’s for sure,” You hadn’t originally meant to voice it out loud, but you got the vague sense Jungkook and him were close friends. Or atleast that’s what it seemed like. Maybe he could shed some light on why Jimin had such duality in personality.

Chuckling Jungkook lead you out of the elevator towards the ritzy floor that appeared to be entirely there just for fine dining, “Money makes people entitled. He’s not an exception.”

Curiously you glanced at him, the air about Jungkook was difficult to read. Something you weren’t use too, most people were like an open book involuntarily. The way they held themselves, what they wore, the brands they sported. It made it almost too easy to get an idea of people’s outlook on life. Like Jimin for instance, he was like a prowling linx. He paraded around like he genuinely cared and was concerned for whoever he talked too, but those half smirks and empty eyes never slipped past you even if they only showed for a split second. His intentions were just as pathetic as his attempt to pretend he really cared.

But Jungkook? Watching him smile coolly as he addressed the waiter who had nodded, weaving you towards your table in the lowlit dining area. Every expression on his face, every move he made, it was all intentional. He said he was just blunt, but was he really? Everyone in life had an ulterior motive, that’s just how it worked. Whatever his was, he had mastered never letting it seep through his intricately placed mask.

Jungkook pulled your chair out, gesturing you lightly to sit down. Often times you’d roll your eyes at any guy who’d attempt this. You lived such an informal life it hardly seemed fitting to be treated like this. But seeing this gesture on Jungkook, it fit almost alarmingly well. Like it had just come second nature to him, regardless of social class, this was just how women should be treated. It came off surprisingly natural compared to most guys who’d fumble as if forgetting until the last second about doing gentleman gestures which often came off more cringeworthy than chivalrous.

Sitting down as he seated you, before taking his own seat across from you as you tilted your chin, raising an eyebrow as you finally spoke up, “And what about you Jungkook? If money makes people entitled, what does that make you? You can have anything you want,” pressing your lips together you gave a hum in thought, “You can have any girl you want, why bother with someone like me?”

You’d be lying if the question hadn’t nagged at the back of your mind. Not out of some sort of desperation or need for reassurance. Pragmatically speaking, you had been genuinely curious. Someone like Jungkook, he shouldn’t even be in the same room as you. Suddenly realizing how blunt you were, you puckered your lips hoping it hadn’t come across offensive as you glanced at him.

Jungkook only laughed, soft and oddly sweet as he relaxed in his chair, glancing at you with soft eyes. Not necessarily affectionate, but an odd admiration as he shrugged, “It doesn’t make me anything. In my family money was never discussed while I was growing up,” he pressed his lips together, glancing away from you for a second as his gaze faltered, “Anything we bought, anywhere we went. That was just life for me. For a long time growing up I assumed everyone lived like I did.”

You found yourself curiously tilting your head. Having not expected at him giving such a detailed response. More so at the reality of his life, “Both of your questions lead to the same answer. My father...” his eyes suddenly filled with disdain, his nose wrinkling in irritation at just the thought before closing his eyes, sighing altogether, “He’s extremely controlling. He’s always been that way. Growing up he controlled every aspect of my life. Not in the way people would assume he would.”

Pausing for a second he seemed to be gathering his thoughts in figuring out how to properly explain as the waiter appeared. Two glasses of wine in tray as he handed them out. Explaining if you had another request for a different flavor he’d be happy to serve, handing out two menus as well he disappeared.

“I’m aware, socially speaking there’s a lot of differences between us,” Jungkook continued slowly as he delicately gripped the stem of his glass as if it was a rose, glancing at the dark inky liquid as he continued, “In your world, parents are usually more forceful yeah?”

Not expecting him to glance up to meet your eyes in hope for a response, a cloud of doubt in his gaze as if he didn’t want to wrongfully assume about you. You gave a dry laugh that came out more like a scoff, “Well there’s varying degrees...” You suddenly gripped the cup of your glass tightly, your expression darkening as memories of your childhood surfaced, forcing yourself to relax as you continued, “But aren’t most parents like that? How could that be different for you?”

“Well when you’re parents are as rich as mine they have different tactics in getting what they want,” Jungkook shrugged, glancing at you again as he rested his elbow against the armrest, twirling the stem in his hand as he continued, “They controlled me, just a lot more subtly. When you have money, you can choose what school your child goes too, which families they associate with, who they’re friends are. He molded my entire childhood to fit his ideal. I didn’t even realize it until my senior year when I had met a freshman who I really got along with. My dad about blew a fuse when he found out.” 

His voice betrayed a bitter tone his expression had managed to steer clear of, “That was when I realized it wasn’t about who I was talking too, it was about it being someone who was in a lower class then us. Someone who my dad looked at as just a worker bee, someone who didn’t matter. He’s a very big elitist, people who don’t level our wealth aren’t worth our time in his opinion.”

Finally managing a drink from your glass as you set it down, letting his words soak in as you finally rose your eyebrows, “And you don’t agree with that?”

Jungkook licked his lips, running a hand through his dark silk like locks as he thought for a minute, “Well I was conflicted at first. Because I didn’t understand, I grew up my entire life just assuming I was normal, sure I had noticed subtle differences with my friends. But with my dad puppeteering my entire life it was never enough for me to question it until my senior year. I disregarded his word and hung out with who I wanted too. I branched out and found people I actually got along with. That’s when I began to realize I wasn’t so normal. I’m not even close to normal. The more I hung out with my friends, let them take me to public standardized areas, their homes, everywhere the more I understood that money? Material goods, financial security, that meant a lot more to people then I ever thought it did. Some people are just greedy for it, some people genuinely struggle with it...” he licked his lips as he rambled away, his eyes in a far away place, “It was weird seeing that, it still is weird. It feels like a foreign concept to me. Maybe that does make me entitled inherently. I’ve never known a day in my life where I’ve had to struggle with security in that sense.”

Straightening his posturing he cleared his throat, as if realizing how much he rambled as he finally glanced at you, “You’re right, I can have anything I want, and any girl I want. But I want you because I’m curious,” Jungkook finally set his wine glass down as he shifted in his seat, leaning forward slightly, “You’re forbidden, something I’ve never been allowed to indulge in. When you have parents like mine I was only allowed to associate with my friends in highschool for so long before they cut it off. You’re everything I’m curious about, your way of life, your mentality, your culture. I’m curious, I’ve always been. And there’s so much of your world to experience it honestly overwhelms me at times. I don’t really know where to begin on my own.” He ended his sentence somewhat sheepishly, which let you know he was being honest.

Jungkook’s eyes looked boyish in that moment and you could tell every word he spoke he meant. You looked thoughtful as you tilted your head. You could never imagine being as sheltered as he was, but it made you wonder. What was classified as ‘your’ world? On any other occasion you would’ve scoffed, the idea it’s self almost made you feel like a science project for him to tinker with and study for the sake of his own weird sense of curiosity about the average mass of commonwealth. 

But his overwhelming amount of genuineness put in his words made it difficult to feel indignant. Because his eyes, his whole demeanor while explaining was just so innocent. It was an endearing, genuine curiosity that made it so difficult to scoff at him. He really genuinely wanted to understand your way of life, it was such a foreign concept to you though. Could you even help him? How could anyone not experience life the way you had?

Well technically lots of people hadn’t, most people didn’t live the way you did, or suffer the background you had. But still your way of life, surely it couldn’t have been all that different, right? Jungkook left you alone for minute as if knowing you’d need a moment to muse his words. The silence was comforting and filled with the soft jazz that had been playing live towards the front of the room.

The waiter had come by after another few passing seconds to take your order, it wasn’t until after he left that Jungkook spoke up, “What about you though? I didn’t ask you out just to talk about myself the entire time.” He laughed causally though you could detect he seemed a bit worried he had rambled too much.

Shaking your head you grabbed the stem of your glass, twirling it as you hummed, “I don’t mind. It’s actually pretty fascinating to hear...” hearing your words you watched his eyes light up in relief, “It’s interesting to know that people can be raised so different...I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around it...” licking your lips you glanced at him briefly before looking away hesitantly, “My life feels pretty boring compared to yours...if not rather disheartening.”

It was true, you didn’t have a manipulated and repressed childhood, nor were you drown in riches and ignorance until you one day grew up and had an epiphany there was more to life than your parents had lead on. Jungkook frowned as he spoke up, “You should never compare, just because your life wasn’t as eventful as mine doesn’t make it any lesser in value.”

Your heart for a moment felt touched by his words. But it made you curious, how could he be so open minded and soft if he had been conditioned by his father his entire life? “W-well...” you fumbled slightly as you set your wine glass down, fumbling with your fingers as you awkwardly continued, “My life isn’t glamorous and honestly, if you’re looking for a more accurate depiction of working class I’m not a very good example...” 

But your words only made Jungkook look more curious as he patiently waited for you to continue. Sighing you looked around from him as you crossed your legs, resting your chin against your hand as you glanced into the crowd of people, all wearing finewear with elegant soft spoken voices. Leaving an echo of a soft murmur to fill the air that mingled with music, “Growing up was...not fun.” 

You frowned prominently as you furrowed your brows, digging into your memories as you continued, “I’ve never lived a fancy or...” you frowned as if looking for the right word, “Stable life...My parents worked very hard to ensure we had a place to live even if it wasn’t much. When I was a kid I could’ve cared less. But I hadn’t realized how much of strain it had put on their relationship. Eventually my dad would get so mad he’d run off to one of the local bars and wouldn’t come back until late in the morning.”

Sighing you didn’t have the nerve to look at him as you expression finally softened, “Of course that made the strain even worse. Looking back it was pretty counter productive, they’d argue, he’d drink, they’d argue about his drinking, making him go drink more. Eventually he became unemployed and it was just my mom barely scrapping us by while he drowned his at the bottom of a bottle.” Glancing down at your lap your softened expression still glowered slightly, a bitter note in your eyes that Jungkook took attentive care to notice though you had refused to look at him, “I was forced to grown up fast, so I didn’t have much of a childhood, by the time I was fifteen I ended up dropping out of highschool to work as many hours as my job would let me to help pay for rent while saving up to move out with my mom. By the time I was nineteen one of my friends had been looking for hospital work to get experience in the field. Sense they had two openings and he wanted the company I didn’t see the harm. Working two jobs, one during the day and one at night...” 

Your eyes seemed distance as you mused, looking a bit lighter then before as you glanced up at Jungkook while shrugging, “Well it’s taxing, I’m not gonna sit and lie to you about it. I rarely have time to do anything besides sleep the few hours I can manage. But I was also able to get us moved out that same year. And after years like this I’ve gotten use to it, the lack of sleep, the minimal way of life...Jimin constantly says it doesn’t take a lot to make me impressed but...” 

Sighing through your nose your expression hardened, curling an eyebrow looking vaguely annoyed, “No one here seems to get it y’know? I come from nothing, I am nothing, compared to anyone in this place. I’ve work my ass off my entire life just to survive. I don’t know what the word luxury even means, and don’t get the wrong impression,” Your voice suddenly fumbled, faltering in your ranting, looking at Jungkook for a second before looking away almost worried, “I don’t want you to think I’m bitter, or jealous of anyone here. It’s just, everyone takes what they have for granted because they think it isn’t enough. It’s hard to swallow that when you live the life I do, when I know at the end of the week, I’ll just go back to my life, back to work and I’ll never see any of this again. But everyone here? They act like this is some sort of average business week. And I guess, it is for them.”

Licking your lips you sighed, closing your eyes briefly for a moment as you shifted in your seat, “Being here, feels weird. Everyone looks at me like circus show. Like it’s cute how I get so flustered by how much luxury there is here. But in reality, you’re right. The majority of the world will and never will be use to this.”

Jungkook had stayed relatively quiet as you found yourself unable to speak anymore. Suddenly feeling rather self conscious, this must’ve been how he felt after exposing so much of the personal turmoil he had suffered through with you. But in another way, it felt rather liberating, just simply telling someone about your hardship, it was easier confiding in a stranger than a friend. 

Because a stranger won’t be disappointed in you, or tell you what you should have done. They will earnestly listen to your story without judgement that your friends and family would carry. Maybe that’s why he had told you so much as well.

“But it isn’t really temporary, you do know that, right Y/n?” Your head shot up at Jungkook’s soft voice, an odd amount of empathy on his face for someone so different than you. A delicious fragrance filled the air as the waiter had finally stopped by your table, setting your food out for you.

“I don’t know how you feel about it,” Jungkook looked as though he was treading on sensitive ground as he continued, “But Park is going to marry your mom. Even if you don’t actively see them it’s still going to impact your life, a lot of the strain you feel right now won’t be so heavy.”

Sighing you looked away from him, “I’m a grown women...I don’t need help. Or want it...okay maybe I do but I’m also not a slacker. Of course I’d appreciate their help but they don’t need to worry about me,” you shrugged loosely, beginning your meal as you continued, “Maybe I’m just being stubborn, my mom always said I take on too much. But I’ve lived like this my entire life, how can I just drop the only way I know how to live? I know I’ve complained a lot about my life but, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.” 

Your words were earnest as you glanced up at Jungkook, your eyes and expression both had softened significantly as you finally let out a small laugh, a genuine smile on your lips, “Sure my life sucks and I have a dysfunctional family, but isn’t that what life’s about? No matter who you are, or where you come from, we all seem to have those problems. I might not be drowning in gucci. But I do have an apartment. And I have a bomb ass cat...” Y

our nose wrinkled as you smiled, remembering the little shit stain that curled against your neck anytime you were home to sleep, “And I have two friends who are just as dysfunctional as me. Sometimes, it’s not all about the big things in life. Sometimes,” you glanced down at the extravagant meal in front of you, smelling worthy enough to make your mouth water as you mused, “It’s the little things in life, that make life worth living, y’know?”

You had been initially a little on edge for the first date you’d be attempting in months, especially when it was with someone so different from you by nature. But you had found yourself, for the first time, in a long time, genuinely relaxed and enjoying yourself. The pitfall most guys fell into with you, was in search for a romantic partner. It wasn’t their fault, there was nothing wrong for wanting that. You just weren’t the right person they needed, you didn’t want to be settled down with commitment and shifted priority that came with a relationship. Or maybe you just hadn’t met someone you liked enough to change your mind.

Regardless more times than less they’d want to take it slow, get to know you, your life, your story and family. And finally after so much pining and unnecessary waiting they’d sleep with you. They actually didn’t, because you’d never make it past the third date before inevitably getting impatient and leaving. You liked it fast, without reason or questions. It just made life easier. And if it worked out, great and if it didn’t? No harm done. 

Most guys you attracted never seemed to share the same mindset. Even going as far as horrified at the prospect of going home together on the first date. But one of your biggest ideals in a relationship was simple, he had to be good in bed. You weren’t opposed to teaching someone, but often times men had a very large and a very sensitive ego. Again you had never gotten that far to begin with. Which was why you had never had any luck from a relationship. If he was bad in bed and too prideful to learn then there was zero point in wasting your time with someone, but since most of the guys you had went out with refused to sleep with you...well you can see the problem, right?

There was something about Jungkook though, you rather liked. He was easy going but eager, just like yourself in that aspect. As if ready to jump you at any moment if you gave the word. He didn’t want to wait around and ‘get’ to know you. He was blunt in his intentions of wanting to sleep with you, admitting later to simply wanting to get to know you’re side of the coin in life. And you had no problems with that, because inherently it was all just fun and games.

An easy win win, you’d finally break your dry spell with someone you got along with, he’d be able to sate some of his curiosity about the outside world.

You could respect that. You and Jungkook had been closing that evening, laughing together at one of the stories you had been enthralled at telling, having so few friends you often only experienced anything thrilling with them, leaving you with little to no audience to ever tell it to outside your mom. And that was when it was legal atleast. Jungkook seemed rather shocked and oddly absorbed in your rather crazy stories, obviously enjoying them as he had never experienced anything close to the oddities you and you had friends had experienced.

Getting out of your seats you both had smiled with a lingering silence but he spoke up, “So about making it up to you after this morning....”

“Gonna bail on me again?” You rose your eyebrows with a teasing smile, half expecting him too. It was almost eleven and you’d imagine he was going to have a busy day tomorrow, wouldn’t anyone who lived a life like this? Something you weren’t jealous of, you were busy yes, but nowhere near on the extravaganza that was the Fifteenth Dark Ace hotel. And for that, you wouldn’t blame him, if you were that busy you’d probably bail on a date too.

“After how much of a good girl you’ve been?” Jungkook let that infamous smirk pull on his lips as he stepped closer to you closing the gap of space, forcing you to crane your neck to glanced up at him, “I’m not that mean babygirl. Wanna head up to my room?”

You licked your lips, knowing his tone of voice had come off in a way not to pressure you. After all you could have changed your mind in the few hours you had spent together, but it hadn’t. In fact it only reinforced how much you wanted this guy to pound into you, “Lead the way.” You gestured, curving an eyebrow with one of the worlds most cutest smile, not at all fitting given the scenario you were headed into.

Obviously glad to hear you wanted this just as much as him, he wasted no time to wrap an arm around your waist, leading you down the lowlit path as you glanced one last time at the stunning dining area. The crystal chandeliers that held thousands of candles in them creating such a glowing ambiance. The skilled saxophonist who played softly intertwined with the piano, and the utter divine smell of fresh baked bread that had passed by from a waiter. And- Wait was that who you thought it was? Blinking you had to do a double take back at the sea of people before your gaze had landed on a black head of hair, Jimin?

Jungkook seemed to notice your surprise as he raised a brow, looking out to where your gaze had landed before spotting Jimin as well, letting out a tiny amused chuckle before speaking, “Oh he never sleeps alone at night, don’t look so surprised Y/n. It’s just how he is.”

Watching Jimin as he smirk deviously as he gripped the girls chin, her bare back facing you with the revealing gown on but you could tell by her body language she was flustered. Still though a small indignant pang sent through your stomach, of course he only wanted to sleep with you. 

Sighing you rolled your eyes as you shrugged, deciding not to care further, you weren’t that interested anyways and it’s clear Jimin was only interested in your body. Why focus on that though when someone like Jungkook was leading you to his room, “Why is he like that anyways? I mean he’s just so…”

“Dualistic? Dunno to be honest,” Jungkook shrugged, thinking for a moment before shrugging again, “I have a few theories but none seem to really peg his problem whatever it is. Money makes up his ego sure but he just has a mentality that whatever he wants he gets. Unlike me his family is considerably lower class then us. The only reason we’re childhood friends is because our dads were as well.” Jungkook rambled on as you curiously glanced at him, so the Parks really weren’t that loaded? A flash of the private jet you had not been in two days ago flashed in your mind as you felt like you had been sucker punched. If that wasn’t fucking loaded then what did that make Jungkook!?

Getting in the elevator he finally concluded as he shrugged, “Honestly, I know you said you weren’t interested in him but I’m being serious Y/n. He’s like a predator, when he wants someone, he won’t give up. Be careful.” And there it was again, that crypticness from earlier.

Confused you tilted your head before shaking it. He kept warning you but nothing had really warranted anything for it, sure Jimin was an attractive man but that’s all he really had going for him in your opinion, it wasn’t like you naturally got along with him, “Okay, if he really is into me as much as you say…Why are you doing this?” You gestured your hand between you both, “With me?”

Jungkook took a moment to contemplate your words looking rather sheepish, as if being caught in the act before his brows furrowed in thought. Finally he shrugged loosely, that smirk curling back on his lips as he replied, “Because I think it’s fun taking what Jimin can’t get. He’s such a sore loser it’s honestly hilarious…which is why you should probably keep this between us.” He pressed his lips together, whatever pride he had on his face loosened as he glanced at you almost worried briefly.

“Well the good news is I wasn’t intending on telling him about who I’ve slept with,” You laughed lightly, not wanting whatever seemed to be disturbing Jungkook to get him too worried, “Besides you have nothing to worry about, I’ve survived campus fuckboys of all different sorts. This isn’t any different I can promise you.”

“What about me?” Your mouth gaped at the unexpected coil of smug in his tone as he pulled you closer to him, dragging his lips against the shell of your ear as he murmured, “I’m not a fuckboy to you, am I?”

Your breath had hitched slightly at the warmth of his lips and the grip of his hands against your waist, you could’ve sworn you had heard his heartbeat with his hot breath so close to you, “No,” Suddenly feeling the overwhelming desire to be a brat even though you knew the consequences, “I couldn’t even think you’re a fuckboy. You’re like a cute little bunny!” You suddenly spun around, booping that cute little curved tip of his nose as you grinned playfully. 

Suddenly giggling loudly at his drop in expression looking dumbfounded at what you had just done, “See! Maximum cuteness! You’re too adorable to be a fuckboy I don’t make the rules Kooky.” You pinched his cheeks as your grin widened, finally provoking him to grab your wrists as his brows furrowed.

Licking his lips and despite trying to look sexy it had the opposite effect, maybe it was the wine but he just looked so damn adorable trying to be alpha like, “You must really liked that punishment huh?” He curved an eyebrow, his eyes had darkened considerably and his tone of voice had deepened, finally achieving the aura he had been looking for, “We haven’t even got to my room yet and you already wanna test me baby?”

Pressing your tongue against your cheek you backed off slightly, while punishment was enjoyable you had been promised reward tonight and you weren’t gonna throw that away, “No,” you shook your head with false innocence as you contained yourself, “I’m daddy’s good girl- No I’m daddy’s best girl.” You corrected yourself patronizingly and you were surprised he hadn’t pushed you against the wall to spank you in that moment as he crossed his arms looking less than impressed, making you snicker nervously. Fumbling with your fingers as you cleared your throat, “I’ll behave.”

Sighing Jungkook shook his head, letting his disapproving gaze softened slightly, “You’re lucky I’m in a forgiving mood tonight, you really enjoy teasing me don’t you?”

He stepped closer again, as if daring you to continue as you impishly smiled, glancing away as you fiddled with your hair, knowing if you ignored the question you’d be punished, and if you answered the wrong way you’d still be punished, “Is it really a good time in bed if there isn’t a little bit of banter? There’s nothing more fun than making a dom feel the need to prove himself even when he knows he doesn’t have too.”

“Is that what this is about?” Jungkook almost looked amused as he grabbed your chin delicately, making you look at him as he leaned down wolfishly, “You want me to prove my dominance babygirl? Careful what you wish for.”

The door had dinged open, having finished its journey as Jungkook turned to face the entrance, briefly smirking while he wasn’t looking, gotcha. No punishment tonight, you were what the kids called a crafty sub, you knew just the right thing to say to get what you wanted. On the rare occasion you could watch your mouth.

Leading you back to his room the door clicked shut with a finality, knowing you could go back on this at anytime but seeing the city lights reflect off his body outlining made you swallow. Your mind flickered to his bare torso when you had first met as he took off his jacket. Turning around as he raised his eyebrows, “You just gonna stand there?”

“Shouldn’t you be telling me to strip?” You took a slow step further into the room, your eyes adjusting to the dark room as you questioned his motives. Unsure if he had this whole night planned out the moment he saw you or was simply going off of instinct.

Chuckling Jungkook sat on the edge of his bed kicking off his shoes while giving them a small kick to the side, shrugging as he relaxed back against his hand, “You dictate the night sweetheart, not me. You want to be a brat and get under my skin right? Make me feel the need to prove myself? Sad to say but I’m a patient man baby, it’s gonna take more then teasing to get me to do that.”

“So let me get this straight,” You had stepped out of your heels, glad to have them off as your feet thanked you, turning to face him as if this was a salesman gimmick that you were positive seemed too good to be true, “You’re gonna let me boss you around?”

“Mhm.” He nodded looking genuine but you were suspect as you squinted your eyes making him laugh, was this some trap? “I’m not gonna bite- too hard, do we need protection?” He licked his lips feverishly as he waited for your next move, relaxed and clearly not looking the least intimidated as he casually asked the question, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he had kept condoms on him twenty four seven.

Pressing your lips together as the pout began to quiver on your lips, “No I’m on pill…” you lingered warily in your spot, looking as if you were in the room with a rabid animal, cautious of his every flickered gaze. He was relaxed, not looking the least concerned about anything, of course he wasn’t, not when he was the one who could unfairly flip the roles here, “Boss me around sweetheart, that’s what you wanna do right?” The wicked smirk curled on his lips as he raised his brows expectantly

“Well-“ You fumbled tugging your hair as you cautiously padded closer to him, still unsure if this was a trick or not, “Yes…but I don’t wanna get punished…” you finally admitted your reason of reluctance as you trudged towards him, lips still pouting with a quiver as you glanced away from him.

Jungkook nodded exasperatedly with a patronizing tone, “Mhm and I promise you won’t, as long as you behave when I tell you too. And right now I’m giving you permission to boss me around. Make me do what you want baby, anything’s for grabs.” he leaned back against his hands as he encouraged you to come closer.

“Anything?” You tilted your head, quirking a brow in disbelief as you finally took the final step towards him, looking down at him, he looked so smug in that moment as he nodded again, “Anything.”

Licking your lips it was your turn to cheekily grin as you raised your eyebrows, having his permission before pressing your mouth closed, unable to keep that adorable little smirk off your lips as you lifted your leg up, placing your foot beside his seated position. The high slit of your dress parting all the way up to the height of your thigh, “Kiss.” 

It was a one worded command but he had got the message. Not breaking eye contact with you as if to remind you he was ultimately in charge as he gripped the soft skin against the sheer black material of your stocking, kissing your inner thigh as his eyes lidded slightly but refused to break from your contact.

Letting his lips part as he dragged his tongue against the soft surface, humming approvingly as you let your hand find his hair. Having been curious since you met him to touch it, his hair looked so silky and soft and your assumption was right as you massaged your fingers against his scalp making him shift positions of your thigh as he let his lips press up further while his tongue dragged in its path.

Finally allowing your eyes to close in contentment as his soft lips began to pepper your thigh in kisses, “Feel good baby?” His hand ran across your thigh gently squeezing as you nodded with a hum. Letting him open your leg more to get a better angle on your thigh as you felt the tulle part further. His lips pressed deeper against your skin before opening again, biting down with a nip, taking the skin in his mouth sucking delicately. Undoubtedly marking you as you continued to enjoy the pampering before pausing for a moment, pulling away slightly making him come up for air on his handy work.

Two hickies had already started to form in a shade of purple that was difficult to see in the low lights. Jungkook said nothing as he watching you place your foot back on the ground, almost anticipating your every move as you reached for the zipper of your dress. Unzipping it all the way down before letting the material drop from your body, grabbing the pin in your hair as you pulled it out, feeling your hair stumble down as you smirked again.

Watching his eyes light up in amusement, almost like a kid unwrapping a present as he licked his lips humming out, “You look even better then I had hoped.”

Stepping between his parted legs you snorted definitely an unattractive laugh as you curved an eyebrow, “How come I didn’t get that reaction when you came to pick me up?” It was a playful question as you tsked, “Come on keep kissing gentleman, I love to be bathed in worship.”

Wrapping his arms around your waist he pulled you to him as he pressed his lips against your stomach, glancing up at you wolfishly as Jungkook rose a brow, “Do you really want a gentleman?”

“Not when you look at me like that.” You replied amused though answering honestly as he continued to pepper your body in kisses, focusing more on your lower body within his reach as he began to nip at your hips. Between your lacy black cheeky panties and the garter belt it had left a snippet of your skin for the taking as he continued to nip his way to the other side.

Letting his hands squeeze against the sides as he made his way back up to your pelvis where the belt sat, kissing over the material as he tugged you to straddle him.

Inherently wanting to be obedient you did as asked making yourself comfortable on his lap as his hands ran down to your ass, holding you firmly as he dipped down into your neck continuing his trail of kisses, parting his lips to mark again as he began to suck against the skin. His hands began to delicately trace back up your sides almost making you wiggle at how feathery his touch was.

A quick nip against the spot he had been working on emitted a breathy little gasp from you that unfortunately didn’t escape his auditory, “Keep making those sounds babygirl.” He practically petted you as he stroked his hands down your back, showering you with affection and his undivided attention as he began to work his way down to your breasts that sat prominently up in the matching lacy black bustier bra.

Jungkook pressed kisses on top of them before biting down against the soft tissue, obviously finding the next spot he wanted to mark as his mouth continued to work. His hands continually stroking against your sides as he let his tongue press and prod against the spot as he finally glanced up at you, “Feeling pampered enough to help me out sweetheart?”

Eyes still closed you nodded as you heard him quietly laugh before pausing and continuing, “Lap dance me in that pretty lingerie baby, give me a good show.”

Your forearms had found there way against his broad shoulders as he finished up marking his spot against your breast as you began to press down against him. Letting your hips drag and wiggle in search for his length that you had found quickly hardening.

Your arousal began to spike between your legs as you pressed your cunt back against him almost too eager as you began to rub and drag down against his lap, feeling his grip on your hips tighten slightly, letting you know you were doing a good job as he finished his last mark, a whine escaping your lips as you felt your clit catch against the material of his slacks.

Smirking he leaned back against his hands as he let you get to work, pressing down on him from different angles, your panties were completely soaked and the embarrassing wet patch was prominent as you eagerly worked his clothed bulge as he spoke up, “Careful babygirl, you’ll get my slacks wet at the rate you’re going.” 

Your cheeks began to flare because he was right. Your panties were beyond ruined by your own wetness from how turned on you had become in such a short amount of time, “Never said that was a bad thing,” Jungkook snickered at your reaction, grabbing your chin to make you look at him, “Look at you, all red faced while bouncing on my lap. What do you want baby? Wanna be my princess right? Tell me what you want.”

Your face was getting redder as you attempted to look down towards his lap, feeling his finger keep you in place as you murmured shyly, “I want to ride your thigh daddy.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows in surprise, as if expecting a more common request before suddenly looking smug while squeezing your sides as he nodded, “Of course you would, go on, ride daddy’s thighs princess.”

Eagerly you slipped from his lap and over to his left thigh sitting with legs on either side as you began to press down against the cotton material before eagerly rubbing yourself against him, feeling your clit flatten enough to send a jolt into your stomach as you suddenly whimpered. Holding onto his thigh as you continued to ride it, letting your clit catch against the material of your panties as you continued to drag your hips against his thigh pleasuring yourself as you whimpered again, feeling the pressure slowly building in your core.

Jungkook observed cockily, admittedly not once in his life had a girl wanted to thigh ride him until now but he was more than happy to experience. Feeling your arousal messily slip through your panties and soak through his pants, it was an oddly satisfying feeling as you pressed against him harshly, feeling your pussy part and wet further as you continued to ride him quicker, “Look at you princess, you’re making such a big mess on daddy’s thigh, come on baby keep riding.” Whimpering at his words you continued to use his thigh in desperation, “You look good desperate, it’s almost pathetic how much you want your little clit rubbed, do you need help?” Whining you nodded defeatedly as he chuckled. Bouncing his thigh in compliance as you suddenly bucked your hips your clit flattening continually at the movement stimulating as you let out little gasps, “Come on princess cum on daddy’s thigh like a good girl.”

Feeling the pressure build in your core you continually whimpered as you rubbed yourself against his bouncing thigh, feeling your legs begin to shake as he almost demanded, “Cum for daddy babygirl.”

Moaning loudly you felt the pressure snap as you obediently let the orgasm wash over you, moans almost embarrassingly slipping out from your lips as you continued to whimper and whine while wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face in the crook as he stroked you praisingly, “Mmm that’s a good girl, good girl baby.”

Your legs were shaky and you weren’t sure if you could stand as he grabbed you by the ass, picking you up so he could properly set you down on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt as he tsked, “Such a messy baby, you couldn’t help yourself could you? Do my thighs feel that good?”

Blushing you looked away red cheeked and pouting but nodding regardless. Letting his shirt fall off his well chiseled arms as you felt your face grow hotter at his well built body display, suddenly feeling self conscious as you looked away, did you even deserve to sleep with someone as good looking as Jungkook? 

By the time he had let his slacks hit the floor he tsked again, kneeling down as he grabbed your wrists, “Don’t cover yourself, I want to see you in your pretty lingerie princess. Unless you want me to take it off for you…” he licked his lips, his fingers already finding their way to the back of your bra as you said nothing in return, feeling your face hot red as he unhooked it.

Taking it off you had instantly went to cover yourself once more, Jungkook’s hands caught your wrists in time as he huffed, “I said don’t cover yourself baby, look at how pretty you are.” He could barely murmur the words out as he let his mouth suck against your nipple, making you whimper at the suddenly sensation as his hand went to the other. 

Massaging nice and slowly while giving gentle pinches to it, sighing through his nose as he paused for a moment before sitting up to take you in, running a hand through his hair as he sighed again, “Fuck you look hot. Want me to eat that pretty pussy baby? I’m hungry again but for a whole new meal.” He hadn’t even left you an option as if he had decided on his own. Feeling his fingers pull against the garter belt first pulling it down with your stockings as he pressed kisses against your leg all the way back up to your thigh.

You jolted at the feeling of his lips kissing your well soaked panties as he hummed, “We should get rid of these hm? You did a good job of ruining them baby.” He coyly smirked from between your thighs as his fingers curled around the band of your panties, pulling them down in one fluid motion before diving in between your legs. 

Wasting no time as he let his tongue lick up from your slit making you gasp at the unexpected sensation. When was the last time you had even been ate out? Most guys found it too gross to wanna try it or simply didn’t like doing it. It was a foreign feeling having Jungkook jump between your legs on his own accord as he devoured you, sucking your clit like a tasty treat as you wiggled and whimpered beneath him, letting his tongue continuously drag against your clit until he found its sweet spot. 

Your voice was already becoming ragged and your already over sensitive body was reacting sharply at the harsh sensation as you whined, collapsing back against the soft surface. Jungkook pulled your legs over his shoulders as he straightened up, hiking your lower body up with him as he glanced down at you like a predator while eating you alive.

Feeling his tongue prick and prod at the oversensitive bundle of nerves making the orgasm build faster and faster as you squeezed your thighs against him moaning, “Daddy please! I’m so close!” You finally strangled out.

His grip on you tightened at your whimpered words while feeling a long slim finger slip inside you as you attempted to twist and turn while he kept you in place. Pumping a second finger inside you as he quickened his pace, not letting his tongue stop for a second as he took your clit in his mouth sucking against it as he let it swirl in his mouth, using his tongue to stroke it.

Clenching around his fingers that roughly pumped in and out of you when he found your g-spot you had snapped, almost screaming at the pain of your orgasm but it obviously wasn’t enough for him, “Keep going baby.” He suddenly added a third finger pumping you roughly as he vigorously hit your g-spot each time, sending you into orbit as you continuously bucked in his hand whimpering not evening finishing your second orgasm before he sent you into your third while attaching his tongue back to your clit humming.

Tears had begun to slip from your eyes at so much overstimulation but he refused to stop continuing as he ruthlessly hit your g spot, letting you practically ride his face as he nipped your clit. Still riding your third orgasm as he finally achieved what he was looking for. Forcing your fourth one as you roughly clenched around his fingers, body shaking and crying with whimpers as the liquid squirted out, coating his fingers as he slipped out of you, setting you back down on the bed as you continued sobbing from so much overstimulation, fuck had you ever even squirted before? You didn’t even think you could.

Jungkook began to wash your thighs in kisses as he softly praised you, “Such a good girl, my best babygirl. Can you still take daddy’s cock? You don’t have to say yes baby.” He murmured against your thighs as he gently massaged them, practically bathing you in affection as you swallowed back those big crocodile tears, your eyes were mascara stained and red cheeked looking incredibly tired but you were a trooper as you struggled to sit up, “I-I can do it, I want you balls deep inside me daddy.” Your needy eyes looking directly at him as you murmured, not shy but horse from so much whining.

“Mmm you sound so cute when you talk filthy princess, keep going for daddy.” Jungkook asked as he let his cock spring free from his boxers. It looked incredibly irritated and red tipped, precum covering it as you licked your lips nervously, “…I-I don’t know…you’re really big daddy.” Glancing away as he gently pushed you back down against the bed.

Smirking though he pressed his lips against you forehead, “You let daddy worry about that, you just relax baby, okay?”

Biting your lip you obediently nodded, “Okay.”

You certainly weren’t lying, he was huge, in both length and girth, it didn’t help that you hadn’t been laid in forever and it’s not like you had gotten a lot of action before that. Feeling spoiled at all of this as you felt him open your thighs again, sore from already being opened so much they sent a dull ache to your hips.

You suddenly moaned as you whined feeling his massive length slip against your pussy, coating in your arousal as it brushed over your hypersensitive clit.

Stroking your pussy with his cock before grabbing the tip he began to press it in, making you grit your teeth as you hissed sucking a breath of air in.

“Mmm fuck baby you’re tight, you weren’t joking about not getting a lot before huh?” He chuckled though it sounded strain as he pushed himself further in, “Good, because this is my pretty little pussy to fuck isn’t it? You want me to prove my dominance right? Well guess what baby? I’d fucking demolish anyone who even tries getting close to this.” 

You whimpered as he suddenly began thrusting. His length throbbing painfully inside you at such a small space, his hand slapped your thigh making you whimper out as he continued, “This is mine, all mine babygirl.” His hips continued to rock faster against you as you wrapped your legs around him letting him pound ruthlessly inside you as he let out a gravelly moan. His voice deep and almost guttural before quickly letting his hips begin to slam into you making you moan loudly as you began to wiggle and try to buck in sync with his hips. Being too fast though Jungkook laughed, “Look at you baby, even when you’re all fucked out you’re still greedy for another orgasm aren’t you?” He opened one of your legs up further to penetrate you deeper but you could already feel him hitting your cervix, fuck! He was so big, “Go on baby cum all over my cock, be a greedy little girl.”

Whimpering as he continually filled you, roughly hammering into you making the bed begin to knock against the wall as his fingers found their way against your sensitive clit almost making you scream as your voice whined out loudly, “D-daddy please- it hurts!”

Hearing your whimpering only made his cock twitch and pulse as he picked up his pace, thrusting rougher as he continued to rub your clit harshly, “Be a good girl and orgasm for me baby, do I need to repeat myself? I want your cum all over my cock baby come on start riding.” He suddenly picked you up sitting down while setting you on top of him, your orgasm already building enough to make you eagerly bounce his cock as he grabbed your ass.

Quickly helping you as you felt it eagerly twitch inside you again, “Come on baby come for me.” His hand smacked against your ass echoing against the room as you whimpered, burying your face in his neck only for him to grabbing a fistful of hair, yanking you to look back at him, “No baby you’re gonna cum all of this cock while looking right at me.”

Feeling his fingers roughly pressing against your clit against as he let go of your hair in trade to spank you harsher,  your walls clenching harshly around his cock that was painfully throbbing and rubbing against your g-spot as he growled, “Cum baby.”

Whimpering you bounced him as fast your hips would let you taking down his full length despite it painfully throbbing inside you, quickly riding his thick base as you whimpered continually, feeling yourself clench against him as your orgasm arrived quickly. 

Roughly rubbing your sweet spot as you cried out, tears close to falling down your face as he spanked you again, “Go on, cum you slut, don’t make me repeat myself.” His hand slapped your bare red ass one last time before the overstimulation overwhelmed you, crying as it washed over you, sending you to cloud nine as he suddenly flipped you both other. Now on top of you as he ruthlessly thrusted into you, slamming his cock into you as he continually moaned though it barely reached your ear. 

Pushing himself until the base of his cock was all the way inside you before he released, feeling the hot ropes of his cum fill you until you dripped his seed, his hips didn’t stop though as he drilled into you, obviously forcing himself into overstimulation as he moaned loudly cumming again from the overstimulation, his seed spilling from you even further as he filled you a second time.

Finally relaxing as he let himself slip out from you. Sweat beading down his neck as he gasped for air, obviously out of breath as he rested his forearms on either side of you, kissing your neck as he murmured, “What a good girl, you did so well baby.”

Originally you had intended on making your way back to your own room once this was finished, but there was not a single bone left in you body that could properly function as exhaustion began to set in. Picking you up to properly set you in bed, pulling the nice fluffy blankets over you both as he got back on top of you, showering you in kisses and soft praise again, “Go on babygirl, sleep you earned it.” He urged you as he continued to smother your stomach in kisses while gently stroking your waist.

Just as you had done everything else this night, you listened without being told twice. Letting your eyes fall shut as sleep gladly took you.

Note: hey babes! I’ve been meaning to update this all day but honestly? I’ve been feeling a bit down lately, I keep getting dms saying I need to add a read more tab but like as a mobile writer I’m unable too. I’ve kinda been at a loss for what to do because I don’t want to clog tags and annoy people :( that being said I still wanted to update for you guys so until I’m able to get my hands on a pc I’m just gonna keep chapter pushing 5K out of the tags. Sorry for the long note! 🖤

Tag list: @sapphireprinces5 @jazzytfw @theslumberingcat (Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Can I get a DIU matchup? I'm a cishet female with fluffy brown hair and dark brown-ish eyes. I'm an ambivert leaning towards extrovertedness. I enjoy research and I like new experiences. Sometimes I can be a bit of an ass and I swear like a drunk sailor but I'm a cool person. I'm a massive nerd. I love Star Wars, it's my favorite movie franchise! Speaking of the stars my sign is Gemini sun, Taurus Moon, and Aquarius Rising. I'm a pretty chaotic person to say the least. -🌹

"I'm double majoring in Sociology and Education because I want to be a world cultures teacher. For some reason. I enjoy learning new things and teaching others new things. I like teaching my foreign friends swear words. I speak multiple languages as well. Like... a lot. So I talk with them in English and their native tongue. I can't stand jackasses (*cough* Rohan *cough*) even though I can be one. I'm pretty good at engineering though... Like not bad but not amazing. -🌹

I'm not naive but if someone has the research and I dig a bit myself I can be swayed. It's just a matter of research. I like painting. I have a really... Hot Topic-y galaxy aesthetic. I like it when people tell me I'm wrong so I can debate them. I'm a debater. While I'm usually challenging and tough there are times when I can be gentle and soft. When I was a kid I wanted to discover a new planet so I could teach aliens cuss words. My8yroldassthoughtthatwashilarious. -🌹

God, I'm so emo with my Hot Topic clothes. I have three pets. A bird named Shanty who cusses when I give her the secret code, a rat named Remy, and a fatass orange cat named Garfield. I enjoy humming gently to my pets because they like my babies. I'm thinking of getting a snake but Idk yet. I like music too. Idk if I mentioned before but I believe in aliens due to actual research being found. But idk if they're like us. Someday we will tho. -🌹

I have a tendency to yell "thathurtlikeamotherfucker" all slurred together like that when I hurt myself. But other than that I can be pretty lax. I don't need people to always try to please me to like me. I actually like having people argue with me. I'm generally easygoing and calm. I have a tendency to befriend foreigners and the weirdest fuckers you can imagine. But that's fine. We quirky. So... who do you match me with? -🌹"

At first I would have said Josuke, but I match you with...

4TARO!

I feel like your ambiverted nature would really compliment his introverted one, going as far as to even make him be more outgoing overtime! The fact that you're also a calm and collected person is something that would be appreciated by him. In fact, you'd even be able to calm him down and soothe him on many occasions. He too can sometimes swear like ALOT so there's that. He finds your nerdy side cute and surprise surprise deep down he's also a pretty fucking big nerd! He totally enjoyed the fuck out of the Star Wars franchise if you ask me.

Another thing that he likes at you is your thirst for knowledge and the fact that you also like teaching others stuff, he's all for learning new info and doing research (he likes intellectual activities in general.) I strongly believe that he too speaks many languages and finds it funny that you teach others literal swear words. If you could speak Japanese that would be amazing really, you two would basically be switching through different languages on a daily basis.

He also enjoys debates from time to time (just don't overdo it) and shares your dislike for jackasses even if he himself can be a big one sometimes. He totally has a soft spot for your pets and for watching you spend time with them because honestly he too loves animals alot. I have a strong feeling that he also believes in aliens but ONLY because there's actual research on the subject because he's a facts only man. 10/10 has intellectual pillow talk with you about aliens at 3 am. Overall he likes how creative and imaginative you are and also lowkey digs your emo-ish aesthetic!

[inkstaineddove]

Business and Displeasure Ch.3

Chapters: 1 + 2

Roderich relished his alone time. He was up later than he wanted to stay, but he couldn't figure out a way to shake Arthur off effectively nor could he force himself to shoo the Briton out of the room. He had more manners than that, but was now regretting his politeness. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was better to go into the next day feeling more energized than he's been the last few days. Too many people in too small space.

He moved quietly up the steps, not wanting a squeaky floor to disturb the staff or Ivan sleeping on the ground floor. He also didn't want to trip, something he'd been known to do at this late of an hour. He crept into his room, not wanting to wake a sleeping Erzsébet, and headed straight for the closet.

With one hand he selected a nightshirt, the other played a phantom concerto that sounded brilliant in his mind. There couldn't be too many days of this, he decided. No, not many at all. He would be able to go about his days as he preferred, no one to command his attention or that he had to cater to. The intoxicating feeling of being one's own master, servicing all his needs as they came to him.

Where was that noise coming from? Soft grunts could be heard coming from deeper within the closet. He moved further in, until suddenly stopping. Understanding hit him. Roderich held out a hand against the wall, afraid that if he used too much force the whole thing would collapse. A feeling of utter shock carried through him.

He tried to rationalize the whole thing. How could he know who was in there with Gilbert? He couldn't! Prussia wouldn't be above sleeping with whatever maid he could get his filthy paws on. And while he couldn't condone a mortal woman sleeping with a man she wasn't married with, it was their choice. Nothing he, as Roderich Edelstein or Österreich, could have done to prevent this outcome.

If that was the case, why did he feel so afraid to return to the bedroom and check on his wife? The part of him that remained cool and rational was sneering. If he was so sure, why was he slumped against the wall with his feet cemented to the ground? Why then couldn't he move? And why be so surprised when this - whatever this may be - had happened multiple times. He knew it did, he was always told as much. Oh, now he was going to stand up for himself! Big man Roderich, finally asserting that he be afforded some personal respect and dignity by the same people he'd denied it to on multiple occasions. Hadn't his slights also struck them as personal? Weren't they in a long tit-for-tat going back at least a century, if not more?

Roderich leaned his head back up and stared at the ceiling. This was pointless, this whole exercise in thought. None of it mattered. Nothing could be proven or disproven to him if he buried his head in the sand. He refused to look at the other side of the bed when he reentered the room. A gnawing feeling still came to him. He smiled and locked the door. If she wasn't there, Roderich felt certain that Erzsébet would be capable of finding a bed for the night in such a large home. He blew out the candle and did his best to shut his mind off for the night.

---

"Really, none of you are willing to take out any loans?" Britain sniffed. "What a waste of paper. I brought all these banknotes on the promise to the Bank of England they'd make a killing off these loans. To think, war used to be so profitable."

Russia, Austria, and Prussia shared annoyed looks. "Can you blame us for wanting to check in with our finance ministers before going into further debt to you? Wouldn't it be better for us all if we could afford to pay you back in time?" Austria removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I suppose, but you men have no idea how much we can make on interest alone. It would be enough to fund all your governments for the next five years." Britain winced, realizing too late that might be a bit harsh. "That's not a poor joke, of course. It's more a comment on how many pounds we make per year."

"It definitely was a poor joke of some variety." Prussia grumbled.

Austria rose, clasping his hands together. "Well then, it seems we have all the basics sorted out. I think we can safely call an end to this whole string of meetings. If there's any further complications or questions as we more concretely hammer out the details through the usual channels or one of you could host the next event like this." He prayed to God that he wouldn't feel forced into having them all in his home again. Seeing no interjections from the group, he pressed on ahead. "I'll leave you three to pack. Feel free to let me know what time you plan on leaving and I'll have a carriage ready for you."

Russia and Britain made their way out of the room, looking eager to get home as soon as possible. Prussia moved lazily, taking his time. He'd made the trip from Vienna to Berlin, and all the major cities in between, before. It took a day and a half at most, if they decided to move at a leisurely pace. Time was one of the few luxuries he could still afford.

"Gilbert, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Hmm? Oh, sure. What do you need?"

The earnestness on the Prussian's face caught Roderich off guard. Not a hint of any idea why the Austrian would be asking to speak with him. His heart begged him to not let his eyes play a trick on him, but how could he deny the evidence before his very face? It could very well be possible that Roderich, in his exhaustion, had invented the whole thing and nastily locked his wife out of their marital bed. He winced at the thought. If that was the case, then he surely deserved any retribution he got.

"Roddy? Are you in there? Are you communing with the heavens?" Gilbert bit his lip, for once suppressing his laughter at his cousin's expense. In that moment, Roderich could almost see how some people could find him charming. Almost.

"My apologies. My mind trailed off to...somewhere that doesn't concern you." He cleared his throat. "Ah, right I wanted to let you know that, ah...." Quick, formulate some excuse. "What we'd talked about a few years back, the last time I saw you in Berlin. If this goes well and you prove yourself capable of working in a team then I'll help you beat back the worst of the nationalist sentiment sweeping across Germany. As long as it remains in my best interest, of course."

"Of course, always have to look out for number one." Gilbert smiled and Roderich picked up a glimmer of hostility behind his eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. He felt thrown off by the lack of animalism in his behavior. Seeing the Prussian act in a semi-civilized way was throwing Roderich off. "Now, if that's all you had to say then I'll be in my room."

Austria watched him leave. He remained deeply unsettled but tried to push that out of mind. There was no point to the exercise, there was nothing he could currently do to resolve the situation so it was best to leave it for a more opportune moment. He would need to fill his mind with much more pleasurable pursuits in the interim.

---

Another late night, but this one filled with so much more joy. Roderich rose from his piano and stretched. It felt good to feel free to return to his music after so many days away. His guests had spent most of their time secluded, packing and arranging their return routes home, enabling him to spend his time as he wanted instead of trying to be polite by being easily accessible.

As he climbed up the stairs, he rubbed his wrists. How his hands ached, but what a magnificent sensation it was! This was how he knew he was still alive, that after all these centuries there was still this very human part of him inside. He remembered seeing one of those tracts from America, about how welcoming God into your life and singing his praises would bring about a rebirth of one's life. Roderich wasn't sure how much of that he believed - he put his belief in the authority of the Catholic church as it could be witnessed, but God himself? He'd seen too many horrors - but he could empathize. For them it was belief in a higher power, for him it was the healing power of the one true universal language.

In good spirits, he smiled seeing the candle was still on his bedchambers. Perhaps Erzsébet had waited up for him after all. Or, if that was too much, maybe she was reading and they could talk a little bit before retiring for the night. They both had some apologizing to do and he was currently in a mood receptive to criticism. Maybe they could pretend to get along until daybreak, when they would inevitably return to their norm. It was the same dance they always did, but today he was willing to sing its tune.

A voice too low in octave to ever belong to a woman. A streak of white hair. Hushed promises, so lewd he didn't dare think about them. A flash of a bare breast before being enveloped in a hand too rough to handle anything with care. Frozen, absolutely frozen. He thought he heard the word love, but didn't want to hear the context. Soft pants, satisfied moans, the upset that he'd never heard her make those noises before. The embarrassment as Gilbert's earlier taunt about 'marital duties' rang in his ears. The further embarrassment at feeling like such a voyeur.

His damn feet, why did they have to be glued to the spot again? Roderich glanced at the sword on the wall. He could imagine himself, running in and impaling Gilbert through. Red, that bastard always saw red so why shouldn't he be red? Maybe if his skin matched his eyes, he wouldn't be such a freak. And where would that leave her? No, he could never hurt her like that. But he could damn well throw her out on the street and care less whether she made it to Budapest in one piece. Yes, that would work, that would be fitting payback. Roderich reached up high, but stumbled, his feet scuffing on the wood.

"What was that?" Her voice, Erzsébet's voice. Roderich wanted her to appear nervous, but she just sounded bored. Do they really not care? Is he this weak?

The sound of a kiss. Roderich imagined their lips touching. How vile. "Nothing, but I'll check if the doors locked." His voice, growing closer. Roderich's feet remained firmly planted where they were. He wondered how the Italians were so skillful at running away in times like these. He wondered why that was the first thing that came to his mind.

Gilbert spotted him. Red meets violet. Gilbert smiled, that stupid, arrogant smile. He winked. The door clicked shut and Roderich lunged for it, not caring that he wouldn't win a fistfight but just wanting the fight, longing for the feel of bone on bone. It was locked. Of course it was locked. He said he was locking it. The red in his vision dissipated. Roderich leaned against the door, staring up at the ceiling. There was the proof before his eyes. So, it hadn't been talk all along.

---

For once, Roderich was thankful for the bitter cold of the outdoors at night. He needed to feel something on his skin, to remind him that this wasn't all just one long nightmare. Didn't he used to be so smart, ahead of all the other players on the board? What the hell happened to him? Ever since the Thirty Years' War, it felt like he'd become the biggest loser on the continent. The only one who dared challenge him was France. Now look where he was.

"Oh, hello Roderich! Out for a lovely stroll this evening too?" Roderich screamed. Ivan put his hands up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You seemed so lonely out here, like you needed a friend."

The Russian's eagerness to be a companion in this time was overwhelming. Roderich opened his mouth to reject but realized that wouldn't be believable in the slightest. "Why not. It's probably for the best."

As they strolled through the garden, Ivan prattled on about the beauty of all the flowers and how he wished he could grow some of them at his place. He realized that the Austrian wasn't paying him any mind and stopped. "Are you alright? You seem depressed. There's a bench here. Let's sit and you tell me all your worries."

This is not the confidante he would've chosen. If Austria had his pick, he would've gone with...well, Spain but it seemed a few centuries too late for that. No, there wasn't anyone else he could turn to who wouldn't be agreeing with him out of obligation. Feeling more isolated, Roderich complied. "I caught Gilbert and Erzsébet..." his voice trailed off. That was a not sentence he wished to complete.

"Goodness. Well, good for you! Maybe we should go back in, there must be a lot of blood in your room. I know all the best tricks for cleaning it out!" Ivan slapped him on the shoulder. It was meant to be good-natured, but it felt as if he'd been hit by a bullet. "Gilbert's a good friend, but I can't deny he had it coming."

Roderich grimaced. "You give me too much credit. I froze up. The most I could do was trip over my feet. Gilbert then locked me out of my own damn room. Not before winking at me! No, he had to get the last word in as if sleeping with my wife wasn't enough of a message." He pumped a fist weakly. "What makes it worse is that, if this situation were reversed, he wouldn't have hesitated to have gutted me over the carpet."

"Ah, so this is all about how you compare with him."

"Of course it is! Why wouldn't it be? If he's so comfortable acting this way in front of my allies, how will he behave in front of my enemies? What will the Ottomans or France believe when they see I can't even control my own house, but Prussia apparently can? They'd be fools not to side with him."

Ivan quirked an eyebrow up. "Let me get this straight. This is upsetting to you because it's Gilbert taking you on in this realm, that he is more of a husband or what-have-you than you are. Nothing to do with any sort of love or obligation to the woman you are married to?" He laughed. "I would cheat on you too, what an awful marriage."

"Excuse you, I love her very much! She's an excellent cook, she's better at handling our guests than me." Roderich began drawing a blank. "Her...unification with my house brought me more power? Her soldiers are incredibly disciplined."

"Wow, I'm persuaded. How foolish of me to think that this was a marriage purely of political reasons." Ivan shot his companion a look. "That's not love, that's the qualities of an ideal staff member. This is all about the fact that you don't like Prussia having what you thought was off-limits." He waved off Roderich's surprised look. "I spent three weeks with him in 1762 and he told me all about this whole mess. He wouldn't stop gushing about Erzsébet and painting your marriage, whether on paper or not, with her as some way of showing him you got his girl. These last three days show me he wasn't lying. You both are pathetic."

Roderich stared out at the bushes before them. This was not how he was hoping this conversation would go. He knew he wasn't completely blameless in this whole matter, but he didn't like it being so blatantly pointed out. He wanted to grieve for his shattered sense of pride and self-perception. "No, maybe I don't love her, but I possibly could. She was a lovely woman in the beginning. Besides, she's using him."

"You could, but did you ever try? She is, but she's using you as well and you know that. Don't let yourself be blinded."

"I did not, but that could change." Roderich shook his head and looked at his hands. "No, it probably won't. She's too headstrong, it's infuriating. But I could try being nicer. No, we're both horrible to each other. This is a mess." He ran his hands through his hair, not caring about if he messed up his appearance. "It won't be solved in one night, if ever, but I appreciate you for listening and opening my mind up to the truth I didn't want to hear."

Russia shrugged. "That's what I'm here for. Come, let's finish this walk. I want to see the rest of your plants before I'm back with the snow."

They walked in silence for a while, both off in their own little worlds. Roderich hadn't stopped being infuriated at the blatant disrespect he'd received, but he was not about to become a murderer. A marked improvement from where he began the night. He looked over at Ivan, who was gently caressing each flower he passed. He made sure to stop and smell the most beautiful, doing his best to remember the exact scent. Some happy memory to store away when he returned to the bleak winter of Moscow.

"You're a lot more astute than we give you credit for. I've always thought you were a bumbling fool, only useful in battle since he can take so many hits, but you're actually quite intelligent." Austria smiled, thinking this to be a high compliment for any from the East.

"I'm not surprised. Hurt, but not shocked. It is so much easier to deny the humanity of us Slavs when you pretend that you're somehow above us. That you, the paragons of culture, are more European than we could ever be and have the access to the best information as a result." Russia sighed, too used to this. "It's so much easier to have us killed when you deny we're made of the same stuff. It's easier to think that because I fumble over your Latin, French, and English that I'm somehow slower to pick up on things. It gives me an advantage in a certain sense, but it does tire me." He chuckled. "Though, I will have you know that mein Deutsch ist sehr gute. Somehow, that one comes naturally."

Testing him, Roderich switched to German, speaking at the pace he would to one of his countrymen. "My sincerest apologies. You're correct to point our tendency to think like that, but to be fair to ourselves we don't have many counter examples to our beliefs. Though I suppose we are in part to blame by striking down Poland. Nevertheless, it is wrong to stereotype so quickly and without prejudice. I can't promise that the rest of my people won't, but I assure you that I will look at you as an equal worthy of mutual respect from now on."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. You can understand how we long for respect? It's so isolating when the world continues to tell you that you and all your people are inferior, despite building up civilizations and a culture able to thrive among the 'civilized' world, and then use our fights with each other as proof that we're no better than all of you. The best was when Britain called me a 'worthy savage'. It was so ridiculous, I couldn't be insulted." Russia had a hearty belly laugh at the memory. For his part, Austria was impressed at how well he kept up. The only flaw was that he spoke in a northern dialect, but that was a lack of taste.

Russia smiled. "You want to hear a good joke? What does a Prussian do that a Russian won't?"

Incredulous, Austria took the bait. "What?"

"Sleep with your wife." Roderich couldn't contain himself. He leaned upon the Russian as they staggered back in the direction of the home, laughing loud enough to probably wake the others up, but without caring if they did. "Can I confess something to you, without you threatening hellfire upon me? I'd never be able to say this back home."

"You're more interested in men than women." The Austrian may be a fool tonight, but he wasn't stupid. "You don't have to worry about that with me. I was married to Antonio and enjoyed every second of it. It would be hypocritical for me to judge any man for that sort of thing."

"Then you'll understand that we're both aligned. It's Gilbert I've been pining for myself. I would love it if we could get him off Hungary and onto me." Russia laughed, trying to smile but looking sad. "Ah, that wouldn't happen though. He really thinks we're only good buddies."

Roderich scrunched his nose up. Why did every person he hoped to form some sort of relationship with have to be in love with his enemy? Where was his luck? "Truth be told, I'm not even sure if you fit his...tastes. I've only seen him leer after women. And for whatever reason, the majority of them fall for it." He put his hand up. "Please don't tell me why. I never wish to understand his appeal."

"I'm not his taste, but not in the way you think. No matter, I'm not hung up on it. You shouldn't be hung up on this either." Ivan did not sound like he wasn't hung up on it. It was shallow advice, but Roderich wasn't going to push him.  It felt too soon in this newly budding friendship-of-sorts they were developing. They returned back inside the home. "I should rest, I leave early tomorrow. Goodnight, Roderich, I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Ivan. Sleep well." Surprisingly, Roderich felt at peace. Maybe the fresh air had helped.

---

The morning brought the slow trickle of nations leaving. As each one departed, Austria felt himself growing more at ease. Britain left before the Austrian was awake, fulfilling his promise to leave obscenely early. With Russia's party disappearing off the property, that left only Prussia. The albino was moving his belongings into his carriage, yoking it up with his driver.

"Excuse me, Gilbert, may I have a moment?" Roderich nodded his head at the driver. "Alone."

Gilbert dismissed him and met the Austrian with a large smile. "Thank you for being such a gracious host. I might have had the best sleep of my life last night. Your mattress is fantastic."

The loud clap of skin-on-skin filled the air. Gilbert clutched his cheek and his eyes became all fire. "You little bitch. I bet you slap her around like that."

"Violence is the only thing you respond too. If I want to be understood by a beast, I have to speak like one. Your stupidity makes you brave, I can commend that at times. It also makes you reckless and insolent. If I catch you disrespecting me in such a way as last night, I will ruin you."

Gilbert huffed. "To be afraid of you would be like being afraid of a kitten, don't waste my time." He returned his attention back to his luggage. "You're not mad about anything I may or may not be doing with Erzsi. Stop pretending like she has any meaning to you. You resent what refuses to bend to your will like any other obstinate little prince." He turned back around, eyes like fire and full of glowing hatred. "You may own her hand, but you can never own her heart."

"Neither will you." Roderich's hands balled to fists. There was that same twitching for a fight as last night. It always had to end with this, didn't it?

But something changed. Gilbert's eyes cast down at the ground. He kicked a pebble. "So I've heard." He looked back at the house, with agonizing longing. "But what I've got is more than you. That's the only prize that matters, right? What would we be without chasing such an elusive goal?"

"Happier," Austria's candor surprised even him.

It took Prussia aback as well, who let free a sad smile in reward. "Maybe. We might have to try that someday. But for now, why not keep doing what we're doing? We've forgotten how to do everything else." He opened his mouth, a taunt on his lips, but let it drop. He didn't have the heart for such bravado right now. "This is a meaningless existence. Tell her I'll miss her." With that, he climbed into his carriage.

Austria watched him leave, not minding the dust kicked in his face by the horses. The somberness of his rival troubled him, but how could he deny the part of him feeling the same weariness? Trudging back inside, he considered how quickly the world around them was changing. He doubted how much of it was for the better.

[pisati]

I did write some comments on your post, but that was an initial reaction after one read-through, and of course it was a lot to take in. I went to my guitar lesson, ate a little bit, dicked around for a bit, and read it through again. what’s on my mind is too much for character-limited replies so I figured I’d just write a post.

if you’re serious that the amount of stuff you told me is maybe 10% of all the things her parents did, then... holy shit, dude. it’s hard to imagine anyone growing up with that and not being completely brainwashed. I feel for her daughter too. hopefully once she gets her degree and gets a job she can get away from that bullshit. most people, I think, are reasonably paranoid about the possible threats that come from strangers on the internet, but that’s just extreme. the scottish mafia??? is that even a thing?? I’ve never even. heard of that, lmao. jesus.

I want to say when the internet was in its infancy, a lot of scammers saw it as an opportunity. that’s where the whole Nigerian prince thing and all that came about. first rule of the internet was not to trust anyone. no personal information, to anyone, ever. the thing is, the internet has changed drastically since then. social media has revolutionized the way everyday people use the internet, and very, very many everyday people use it. the chances you’re likely to run into a normal person just like yourself vs. a scam artist today are much, much higher than they were even a decade ago. some people don’t want to accept that things have changed. I mentioned my Brazilian friends on your post; my mom was pretty nervous at first when I told her about them. I met them just before I graduated high school, so I was 17. I actually was on Omegle (which was WAY worse than tumblr or twitter???) and I talked to a kid named Matia. he was a few years younger than me but his english was very good and he was a cool kid. we followed each other on twitter, and then his friends saw and a bunch of them followed me, asking him “quem é essa gringa matia??”-- who’s this foreign girl? they’d talk to me in english about music and ask me what it was like in the US; they were fascinated. they affectionately nicknamed me ‘gringa’; in Brazil it doesn’t have the same negative connotations as it can in Spanish-speaking countries; it literally means ‘foreginer’. I learned Portuguese inadvertently just from reading all the tweets they posted. they’d mess with me and tweet in slang and typo-ed Portuguese so I couldn’t google translate it, but when I learned enough Portuguese and read back on their old tweets, I had a good laugh because it was all stuff like “lol let’s mess with her so she can’t translate it, that’ll be so funny!” and they knew I’d get all frustrated because I didn’t know what it said, lol. like, just pure, innocent interactions between strangers on the internet. I had a ton of fun with it. and Portuguese even ended up being my best language, because I learned it not only in natural, informal contexts (rather than “hello, how are you?”), but I learned it through drunken slang and intentional typos and a whole assload of cursing, lmao.

I was nervous to tell my mom about it; I knew how she’d react. there was no way to tell her about all the jokes and conversations and how all of it was harmless. how I just knew they were real people like me (they were all around my age too). she didn’t want me to study abroad there, when I brought it up, or at least... if I did, she’d rather I’d have picked somewhere in Europe instead. I told her I’d skyped with my friend David, and once I even mailed him a package with an old shirt of mine (because I’d tweeted about how I had this IUP shirt and once I transferred I knew I wasn’t gonna wear it anymore, but I didn’t want to donate it; he said he wanted it and I was like well if you’re serious lol). I skyped another friend Guilherme once because he said he could help with an assignment I had for researching the grammar of non-native speakers of english, or something like that. she warmed up after a while. I think she realized that, hey, most normal people are also on the internet now. and there’s normal people in other countries, lol. but like. people in that generation are from a different era of information-sharing. it’s a totally different perspective. and if you’re the kind of person who worries entirely too much... well, you’ve seen what can happen.

you said it in your other post too (which, first of all, I’m really proud of you for opening up, as painful as I’m sure all this is, and second of all, I’m honored that you’re comfortable enough to share with me)... the thing about sounding ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’. and... maybe it does feel like that. but given the circumstances? I think reacting like that is perfectly normal. I’m sure you know, but this kind of situation, all the things that happened... none of that is normal. you had a perfectly normal reaction to seriously abnormal events. it’s only natural to want to know why. when you love someone so much and think they love you too, and have your whole perception of the world turned on its head... it’s absolutely devastating. you don’t want to let it go. what else is there? you didn’t picture it vanishing so suddenly, and you feel like that’s it. 

I just want you to know, I don’t see weak or pathetic. I see someone very much like myself. who genuinely cares and feels so intensely and deeply and is sometimes even afraid of being too much. a lot of people don’t understand that we have pure intentions. they don’t understand how we feel because they don’t have that depth. 

anyway, I understand a little better how you feel about it. a lot of it wasn’t her fault; she pretty much had a gun to her head. or, multiple, depending how you want to look at it. she grew up with that bullshit. you said it wasn’t even the first time something like that happened to her. it’s really, really hard to defend yourself or stand up for yourself when that’s what you know. when that’s your family, who is supporting you and your daughter, and threatens to kick you out if you follow your own will. she was playing a losing game. it made me a little sad to read how hard you tried to make it work, when clearly you were being pushed away, but I understand, man. I’ve done the same thing. you want so badly to make it work, you feel like there’s always a way you can. the most devastating part of it all is realizing you can’t. and it can’t be fixed.

the thing that puzzles me, though, and please tell me if I cross a line here. I really don’t want to. I respect your feelings and I understand that your relationship with her lasted a long time; there’s so much packed into that time. I’ve told you a lot of the shitty parts of my relationship with A, and you’ve wondered why I didn’t kick him to the curb; I didn’t tell you about all the good parts there were too. I know how complicated and difficult those things can be. despite how much they hurt you, how they did it, how much more pain you were in because of what they did than anything you could ever do to them... you still care about them. a lot. 

I just... I guess I’m not 100% clear on the purpose she serves in your life at this point. of course you care about her. it’s only natural to, when they’re your best friend. you know so much about them and they know so much about you and you’ve shared so many good things and you just enjoy them as a person. god, I even remember writing some sappy poem or blog post or something about how, even after everything, A could have stabbed me in the gut and I would have apologized for getting my blood on him. but he also did more damage to me than anyone ever has. I realized this past summer (that’s a story for another time) with such sudden, horrible clarity that I burst out sobbing while I was driving home on the highway; what he did was irredeemable. there was nothing he could do to fix it. I had done everything I knew how to do to even stay his friend, and I finally told myself that it was either I continue to pursue this and make myself miserable and make him miserable (because he was allowed to have feelings for whoever he wanted; me getting upset over every new one would hurt him too), or I could just. let go. finally. and that was not a decision I ever wanted to face. I put it off for so long. I told myself there could always be a way to fix it. but it always came down to him putting in the effort. he was my best friend. he knew me better than anyone. a lot of the things you said about M, I’ve said about A. I’ve never been able to be that close to anyone before; he’d seen much more of me than I was comfortable showing anyone else. I didn’t know if I’d be able to be that close to anyone else. making the decision to let go of the one person I was that close to was the hardest thing I had to do this past year, right up there with having to talk to the team from the cremation place not 15 minutes after learning my dad was dead and watching them take him away in a body bag. 

anyway, I guess what I’m getting at is... you can still love her, and still care deeply about her, but also keep her in the past. this is just my conjecture, given that I don’t know anything about your relationship now, but it seems to me like trying to keep her in your life is not beneficial to either of you. I know you said you don’t keep people around based on the purpose they serve in your life, and that’s a good philosophy to have, for sure. I’m not arguing that at all. but I think there’s a lesson to take from Marie Kondo here (ha); when something has served its purpose in your life, you should understand when it’s time to let it go. thank it for all it brought to you, all it did for you, of course; there’s apparently a lot of Shinto traditional beliefs that influenced her organization philosophy that would be really interesting to read about. but anyway I don’t think it just applies to the physical clutter we all accumulate in our homes. we weigh ourselves down with all the things we keep. especially those that don’t ~spark joy~, lol.  if she’s really as brisk with you as you say... do you think she would be bothered if you disappeared as well? 

I know it’s never just that easy. I made that decision, and then later I learned that A had a whole clusterfuck of mental illnesses that he wasn’t even aware he had. it was bad. worse than he thought. but once he finally got into therapy and started journaling his moods, it became more obvious. he realized a lot of how he treated me came from that. when he told me, I felt just a tiny bit of my resolve crumble. how could I drop him like that, when he was clearly struggling and needed something stable? even just a good friend, who was patient and understanding, like I’ve always tried to be? I’m not the only friend he has, of course. he has plenty of people around. I don’t have to go back to trying so hard if I don’t want to, but I also felt like I couldn’t just abandon him. I realized it wasn’t entirely his fault. he still did what he did knowingly, he still knew how it hurt me, but it still wasn’t entirely his fault. I know you’ve seen that in M as well. it’s so complicated, I know.

I’m not trying to convince you of anything. maybe just trying to get you to think about it another way. you’ve got a lot of pain that you’ve buried and try your hardest not to deal with. I’ve done it too. get to it when we get to it, except we hope we never have to. but it makes healing so hard when we don’t address it and subsequently deal with it. I wonder if you think it’s possible to heal the way you hope to and also keep her in your life. I’m sure in some way it is, but I wonder how you picture that possible future. I’m still trying to work that out for myself, with my situation. 

anyway, I really do appreciate you taking the time to help me understand your demons better. and... if it means anything, I don’t see you as broken. even if that’s how you feel. I mean, shit. all of that is enough to break anyone. I’ve never even been in a relationship, let alone had one that got to the marriage-talk, engagement-ring, wedding-dress, baby-name point. for someone that feels as intensely as we do, no less... I can only imagine. I see how the innocence, so to speak, was ripped from your hands. I understand how you feel changed by it. I see the darkness in you that I’ve seen in myself, but I see the light there too. you need to feel safe so that light has time to heal and grow again. 

[whatwillyoudodifferently]

Cold Sweats Were Made To Be Broken - How Emily Carroll Creates Effective Horror By Bending The Rules

I believe that, with enough time and resources, someone with a good eye for horror would be able to create a good horror story with just about any medium. With prose, you have the advantage of vivid description and getting to intimately know the character’s inner thoughts and fears, like in the works of Stephen King. With film, you get the advantage of visuals and audio along with the dread that comes with being a helpless audience member, such as the in the works of John Carpenter. And while the poor video game is often given a bad rep among other, older art forms, video games actually are one of the most ideal ways to experience horror stories, since the audience must become an active participant in the story to move it forward, not even allowed the escape of being a passive viewer.

It’s actually for very similar reasons that I find comics to be one of the ideal mediums for the horror genre. You get some of the benefits of prose, some of the visuals of movies, and even a bit of the forced participation of video games, in the fact that readers must choose to advance to each next page- a happy medium, if you will. There’s also one of my favorite features of sequential art as a whole- the fact that the artist has a tight amount of control over the pacing of the story. You can enhance the drop a world-shaking reveal on the reader by devoting a splash page to it, or pull out a scene with agonizing slowness with multiple, decompressed panels- storytelling devices that become lethal weapons in the hands of a good horror writer.

Keeping this in mind, it’s no surprise that horror comics have always been a huge part of comic history. In modern times, American comics are almost always associated with superhero stories, but there’s actually a rich history of horror comics- the rise of gruesome true crime stories and horror anthologies like Tales from the Crypt are why we have the infamous Comics Code, after all. Today we have titles like 30 Days of Night and The Walking Dead (though their more cinematic adaptations are typically more well-known). The huge world of European comics have given birth to a huge number of horror titles, like Italy’s Dylan Dog or Britain’s semi-tongue-in-cheek Scream! And of course, Japan has been the birthplace of great horror comics from the days of Mizuki Shigeru to the advent of modern horror with figures like Junji Ito and Masaaki Nakayama.

But of course, those figures and titles only exist in the world of print comics. In the age of the Internet, it would be remiss to ignore the staggeringly massive world of webcomics in any discussion of comics, let alone horror comics. This is due to any one of the many, many, many webcomics that exist online, but for this essay, I want to focus on an artist who doesn’t just happen to focus on horror comics while publishing them on the internet, but uses and utilizes both the medium of sequential art and the Internet to bring out the best in her comics.

Originally an animation student, Emily Carroll had only just begun to venture into the field of comics when she went hurdling to the attention of the webcomic community in 2010. His Face All Red was only her third comic, and its runaway success (helped by the recommendation of another name in horror comics, Neil Gaiman) was something she admits to be caught off-guard by. But she clearly has seemed to have taken it in stride, considering that her website now hosts almost 20 webcomics, many of them some sort of horror story. She’s also done print comics, including the original anthology Through the Woods and the upcoming graphic novel adaption of Laurie Halse Anderson’s powerful YA story Speak. As grandiose as it may be to say this, I believe Carroll’s style and approach to storytelling was made for the medium of comics, and I believe she deserves a spot up there along with Gaiman and Ito when it comes to naming masters of the horror comic.

But how does she do horror comics so well? It’s not just good writing, or good art, though she’s certainly talented on both those fronts. After spending an amount of time looking through her comics, I think I’ve come up with a solid answer, an answer that can be used to teach anyone interested in comics and in storytelling in general.

Emily Carroll is a master of breaking rules.

When I say rules, I don’t mean that there’s actual rules some God Of Comics has written down somewhere. Rather, the “rule-breaking” Carroll does refers to how she subverts expectations and goes against the conventions of storytelling that have become familiar over time. In doing this, Carroll’s comics have an air of unpredictability to them, and the reader must not only advance through the comic at their own pace, they must do it with the knowledge that the comic will surprise them in some way. In short, when a story breaks “the rules,” it creates the illusion of the audience’s safety being lost.

But how does Carroll break the rules? This is a bit of a nebulous thing to analyze- I mean, I don’t even think “breaking rules” is something Carroll consciously sets out to do. But over time, I’ve noticed recurring themes and storytelling methods in Carroll’s comics, and I think it’s worth analyzing them to gain a better understanding of sequential art and how sequential art can continue to evolve. 

Breaking “The Rules” of Each Comic

One thing I like about Carroll’s webcomics is that, since they’re all self-contained short stories, they each have their own unique visual “language.” This can apply to comic’s palette (like how The Hole The Fox Did Make is all grayscale), the format of panels (like how When The Darkness Presses is told through several 4-panel pages), or even the format of the writing (like how The Prince & The Sea is told as a poem). This gives all of Carroll’s comics a sense of cohesion, similar how to repetition is used in visual design to create a sense of rhythm and reason.

But, of course, what’s even more important than the “rules” Carroll establishes for each individual comic, is when Carroll chooses to break these rules.

The Hole The Fox Did Make is all grayscale- so when the colorless 4-panel strips are replaced with a mass of panels mostly rendered in an angry red, it comes as a shock. When The Darkness Presses is told through several 4 panel pages- so the reader knows that the long vertical segments that accompany each scene about the door are meant to be considered different than other scenes. And once the reader sees what is behind the door…

Suddenly changing the established visual language of a comic is easy shorthand to let the reader know that the scene is important in some way, but in a horror comic, it can also be a subtle way to catch the reader off-guard. Rebecca’s ghost story in All Along The Wall is told in a simple style and over-saturated colors to distinguish it from the “real” scenes, but the contrast in the story’s bright, colorful palette to the sketchy grayscale of the rest of the comic almost makes it feel more menacing in contrast. The fact that it’s explicitly a ghost story rendered in these almost cheerful hues make it even more uneasy- and ends up saying a lot about the kind of person Rebecca is. In short, it’s good, creative storytelling that also serves to scare.

These breaks in the established format work best when combined with one another. The Prince & The Sea takes part mostly on land- specifically, in single-panel illustrations that show only the meeting place of the prince and the mermaid- with a colorful palette that’s equal parts earthy and warm. When the story shifts under the sea, the palette shifts to eerie, cool colors that reflect both the dark atmosphere and the horrifying turn of the plot. But in addition to this, the story finally breaks the single-illustration format, going vertical to simulate the feeling of diving, and adding in “floaty” panels surrounded by black, giving a true feeling of being underwater. Carroll uses not only tone and format shifts but shifts in space- which, incidentally, brings us to one of the most notable and important features of Carroll’s work.

Breaking “The Rules” of Comics As A Whole 

In 2000, the comic book artist Scott McCloud published the book Reinventing Comics: How Imagination and Technology Are Revolutionizing an Art Form, in which he made several predictions about the necessary changes that would need to occur in the field of comics in order for the medium to survive, with a major focus on the Internet and webcomics. One interesting idea McCloud proposed was the concept of “the infinite canvas,” the idea that a comic could have limitless storytelling potential thanks to the almost limitless size and space offered by a webpage.

In the year of 2000, the art of the webcomic was in its infancy, consisting mainly of typical comic strips like you’d see in newspapers, leading to a lot of skeptical response to these ideas-- but as it turns out, McCloud was basically completely correct. We’ve seen this from the long vertical formats typical of many Korean webtoons like The Sensual M and Chinese manhua like Tamen de Gushi to the textlogs, flash games, and fully animated segments of the ambitious multimedia-mishmash Homestuck.

Of these examples, however, I think Carroll’s techniques are closest to what McCloud had in mind when he proposed the infinite canvas. His Face All Red famously had the wonderful, wordless sequence of the protagonist descending deep into a hole, depicted by the downward scroll of the reader. When The Darkness Presses switched deftly between standard “real world” pages, long vertical dream sequences, and the dramatic horizontal reveal of what lay behind the door.

To this day, I think Carroll’s most impressive use of the infinite canvas is still Margot’s Room. Initially presented as a month-long event during October 2011, Margot’s Room starts with a grim poem over a grim image, with every important word in the poem relating to a part of the picture, which the reader would click to go to a new part of the story. Each week, a new line of the poem would be revealed alongside a new link, with the last part being released, of course, on Halloween. This creative use of hyperlinks is interesting enough, but the final, shocking scene is almost breathtaking- the events are violent, chaotic, and wild, heightened only by the wide spread of panels over a massive, empty blackness, linked only by words and furious splashes of blood. It’s something that couldn’t really exist in print comics (unless on a much smaller scale) and seeing how effective it is here, it almost make one wonder why it’s not more widespread among webcomic artists.

Without the limits of the printed page, Carroll has a better opportunity to break the typical conventions of sequential art. But she actually goes beyond that, using the medium of the Internet in even more creative ways than McCloud imagined. Besides her use of hyperlinks in Margot’s Room, links are also used to tell the non-linear “story” of Grave of The Lizard Queen, or show two sides to a tragic tale in The Three Snake Leaves. Carroll even employs animation in her work, to an extent. An animated GIF in Out Of Skin conveys the horror of seeing something terrible just out of the corner of your eye, and a certain “trick” panel in All Along The Wall may make you jump out of your skin if you don’t know what exactly it’s going to do. And that’s how it’s brilliant- comic panels aren’t supposed to change, after all. Carroll knows that, and knows just how to use the reader’s unconscious knowledge of the rule of well of course comic panels are always static against them. You don’t think twice about it... until the rule is broken.

Breaking “The Rules” of Storytelling

One of my favorite examples of Carroll’s unique take on the infinite canvas is in When The Darkness Presses. Despite being a short comic released all in one go, it’s presented as a recently completed longform webcomic, complete with animated ad banners. I don’t want to spoil what becomes of these ads later, but it’s very interesting to point out that one of them is for “Alo-Glo,” the skin product that features heavily in Some Other Animal’s Meat. This is especially interesting once you realize that Some Other Animal’s Meat is technically a sequel to When The Darkness Presses.

I say “technically,” because it’s actually entirely possible to read both comics and not know this, the way I first did. They’re two different self-contained stories that just happen to involve two characters at two points at their life.

There’s no real meaning to it- and in a way, this is perhaps Carroll’s favorite rule to break: the all-encompassing question of what does it all mean?

Ever since His Face All Red, Carroll has faced this question, or at least variants of it. How did the man’s brother come back? What was that thing in the hole? In a 2014 interview with Hazlitt, Carroll admits to feeling self-doubt when readers began clamoring for concrete answers:

“People were saying, ‘What’s the meaning of this? What’s the meaning of this?’ and … I felt very much like, I need to justify this somehow, otherwise they will see that I am a faker that has faked my way into some kind of Internet buzz, so there has to be a one-to-one meaning for everything.”

Thankfully, Carroll has been able to move past this initial doubt- I believe, very much for the better. Leaving unanswered questions is almost a trademark of Carroll’s now- from the tree in Out of Skin to the “mystery man” in The Groom to the door in When The Darkness Presses. The thing that plagues the main character of Some Other Animal’s Meat. The voice that calls Regan to the river in The Hole The Fox Did Make. The list goes on.

And it’s not just monsters. From early on in my love of Carroll’s works, I began to notice connecting threads through many of her comics. What did it mean that His Face All Red draws attention to “a tree with leaves that looked like ladies’ hands” (similar to the tree in Out Of Skin) and “a stream that sounded like dogs growling” (a sentence almost identical to how the stream in Margot’s Room is described)? What did it mean that The Hole The Fox Did Make and The Groom featured Regan, or that All Along The Wall is technically a prequel to a comic from Through The Woods? What did it mean that events of When The Darkness Presses are brought up by the main characters years later in Some Other Animal’s Meat?

The answer, of course, is that there is no answer- other than the answers and ideas that begin to form in our heads when we’re presented with an unsolved mystery. Ever since early humans looked up at the stars and put together shapes in the gaps, the nature instinct of human beings drives us to pick patterns out of randomness. Our brains try to find meanings or answers where there is none, whether we want to or not, or even if we are aware of our minds doing so or not. And of course, this almost whimsical trait of ours is also one of our most massive burdens- the horror of imagination. The infinite possibility of the conclusions each person reaches on their own will always be far, far more frightening than any single answer a writer can give.

In a way, Carroll’s most mundane “broken rule” may be her most powerful tool. In the age of endless theories and fiction analysis, in the light of humanity’s eternal, inescapable desire for the solutions for every puzzle, Carroll’s works are unanswerable. And because of this, I think the unexplained monsters of Carroll’s works are some of the scariest in fiction.

Funnily enough, despite basing this essay around the concept of breaking rules, I stated early on that I don’t think Carroll herself sees her approaches to sequential art like that. While researching for this essay, I came across an interview by The Comics Journal with Carroll from 2011, not too far after the runaway success of His Face All Red. It’s a great interview, but what probably stuck with me most is Carroll’s description of how she approaches comics:

“It stems more from just what I think will be most fun, really. And since—when I started doing comics—I’d never done comics for print, I wasn’t in the mindset of doing pages anyway, which maybe led to me not really adhering to that standard when I started in on my own attempts. I like the idea of scrolling just because it’s fun to play around with revealing images that way, but you can play around with the same thing using page turns too really.”

I wanted this essay to be a tribute to one of my favorite artists, but I also initially intended it to be a way to encourage artists to shake up typical comic conventions and try to create unique art. Upon reading this quote, however, I realized that I had one more thing to learn from Carroll, one thing I want artists to know as well. Carroll has carved out her own, unique approach to sequential art, and in the process has happened to buck several storytelling conventions. You too can learn from this and know that you have the freedom to break these same rules- but perhaps the most important thing to take away from this is that Carroll does this because she has fun doing this. Carroll’s comics work not just because they break the rules, but also because she enjoys creating them.

Your own unique style should be what is most enjoyable for you. Creating new and unique artwork is all well and good, but what will make or break your art are the feelings you have while creating it.

And if you have fun in breaking rules, then more power to you.

All of Emily Carroll’s online works can be found on her personal site (general NSFW warning for nudity and disturbing content). You can buy Carroll’s anthology Through The Woods here.