#going seventeen mouse hunt

[gguksgalaxy]

3:57am | Jeonghan 1k

Suggestive, vampires (so blood), requested by @eclavayne, request me here

info: this idea consumed me while i listened to Seventeen's March

“I should kill you,” Jeonghan sneers from across the room, carelessly whipping around his blade as he speaks. 

You try to hold it together, you really do. But no man tests you like this one. “Then why haven’t you!?”

He stops, eyes suddenly wide. “What did you just ask me?”

“Why haven’t you killed me?” you repeat, voice sharp. There’s a shift in his stance, a very sudden change in his emotions. You can almost smell it. “How many times are we going to do this? You hunting me down to some remote part of town, running into each other at some semi-important event, only for you to threaten to finally kill me as you should and then not having the balls to fucking do it.” The words rush from your mouth before you can even register them properly.

It made no sense. You’re a vampire. He’s a hunter. He should’ve killed you months ago. This cat and mouse game is getting boring. 

He scoffs, smirk edging on his pretty lips. “You say that. But I could ask you the exact same thing. Why haven’t you killed me? I mean you’re faster, stronger, older, you could snap my neck if you wanted to, no?” He licks his lips, stepping just a bit closer. His blade catches the light as he twirls it in his hand. “I don’t see you in a hurry to even hurt me at this point.” 

“I don’t need a dead hunter on my hands,” you bite. You crack your knuckles, clench your jaw, anything to relieve the tension in your body. “You on the other hand, have no excuse.” 

Jeonghan cocks his head to the side, brushing his dark hair out of his eyes. “No excuse you say?” The chuckle that leaves his lips sends a chill up your spine. He steps close enough for you to see how long his eyelashes really are. The slight smudge on the edge of his cheekbone. The ever so slightly golden hues in his eyes. “I have so many excuses to not kill you, darling.” 

It’s your turn to scoff. “You just don’t have the guts to do it, Han.” 

He suddenly raises the point of his blade to your chin, tipping your head back. Eyebrows raised, he whispers, “oh, trust me, what I’m thinking of takes way more guts than killing you. Killing you would be easy.” Jeonghan twists the blade, trailing the flat side up your cheek. He holds your gaze, eyes full of mischief and something unreadable as always. “Making you mine,” he drawls, leaning in to your ear, “that’s the hard part.” 

You don’t think. You act. A hand slid into his hair so you can pull his head around and slot your lips together. Something he’s been just as hungry for as you, from the sound he lets out. Jeonghan’s blade clatters to the floor, hand coming up to the back of your neck. He steadies you as you stumble back into the wall. His other hand braces himself, half a growl passing his lips as he parts and kisses you again, deeper. He’s all over you, leg sliding between yours the second you cave for him. Your teeth scrape his bottom lip, moaning when he hisses. 

The slight tang of blood floods your mouth and you keen, pressing him closer. Why he lets you suck on his bottom lip is beyond you. But you sure as hell can tell he’s getting off on it. “Han,” you groan, parting from him with a loud noise. A trail of spit connects your panting lips.

He grins, touching his forehead to yours. “Your fangs may be cute, but please refrain from turning me into dinner. It would certainly put a wrench in my plan, dear.” 

You tug at his hair again, tilting his head back. “And tell me why I shouldn’t. I must say, now that I’ve had a taste, you’re much harder to resist.” 

Jeonghan moans when you lick from the slight smudge of blood below his lips, straight into his mouth. He welcomes you, both hands on the small of your back, pulling you into him. He groans. “Get this awful top of yours off and I’ll explain.” 

He did not lie. Jeonghan’s mouth on your body was not something you ever thought you needed. Yet the second you have it, you want him to never stop. He’s got you searching the wall for purchase. Pushes and pulls you until you're basically naked on the bed. His skin it hot against yours, mouth leaving wet trails along your neck and chest. 

You yank his shirt over his head, and suddenly there’s a searing hot pain between your breasts. “What the—“ you search for the source, fingers coming into contant with scorching hot metal. 

“Ah,” he clicks his tongue, grabbing the necklace from around his neck. It must be laced with something. 

“Take that off,” you groan, soothing the healing skin on your hand. 

He chuckles, twisting the metal between his fingers. “I don’t know, I think it’s quite pretty dangling from my neck. Don’t you?” 

You twist your hips, flipping him over so you sit over his lap. Luckily, the metal chain doesn’t burn as you pull on it harshly. He arches into you. “I said, take it off. Or I’m going to find someone else to play with.” 

“It’s to make sure you don’t use any of your funny tricks on me,” he explains, pulling your hand away. His eyes search your face for something, narrowing slightly. With his hair spread out on the pillow like this, illuminated by the small light in the corner of the room, he really does have something angelic about him.

His chest heaves when you trace your fingers along his sternum, goosebumps rising on his skin. “You want me to be yours, you’re going to have to trust me, Han,” you tut. 

He doesn’t waste a second. He rips the chain from his neck, chucks the necklace across the room and pulls you in for another searing kiss.

Request me here | © GguksGalaxy 2018 - 2023

[last-of-the-jaded]

The way they were gonna forcefully peel him apart like a cheese stick

[metal-bending-trashman-simp]

Fic Mega-List

WANTED [Heisenberg/Reader. Chris/Reader]

Read the tags closely if you have any sensitive triggers. Thank you!

Chapter One. . . Sneaky Little Mouse

Chapter Two. . . Run Rabbit

Chapter Three. . . The Duke

Chapter Four. . . The Hunt

Chapter Five. . . Mess With The Bull

Chapter Six. . . The Non-Believer & The TattleTale

Chapter Seven. . . The Non-Believer & The TattleTale (Part 2)

Chapter Eight. . . The Non-Believer & The TattleTale (Part 3)

Chapter Nine. . . Busy Day

Chapter Ten. . . Imposing Thought's

Chapter Eleven. . . True Fear

Chapter Twelve. . . The Resiorviore

Chapter Thirteen. . . Good Things

Chapter Fourteen. . . Dog Goes Missing

Chapter Fifteen. . . The Factory

Chapter Sixteen. . . I'll Go Out On My Own Terms

Chapter Seventeen. . .Lets Play Doctor

Chapter Eighteen. . . Easy

Chapter Nineteen. . . Petty Games

Chapter Twenty. . . How The Tables Turn

Chapter Twenty One. . . Lunch Time

Chapter Twenty-Two. . . Castle Dimitrescu

Chapter Twenty-Three. . . Something’s Asmiss

Chapter Twenty-Four. . . A Meet Between Old Enemies (Released Wednesday.)

[narrators-journal]

Cat and mouse au headcanons

I’ve kinda been off and on thinking of this au, so I decided to write down some rough headcanons on the idea! I hope you guys find this universe as fun as I do!

Senku kills out of a warped sense of curiosity that he couldn't quench through reading and talking to Xeno.

Xeno somewhat encouraged Senku to go to great lengths to learn more.

Mentally, Senku is not unstable.

Gen is a well known behavioral analysist thanks to his knowledge of human psychology, but before then he was a popular magician.

Senku started killing by the age of seventeen at the earliest, by the time of the fic, he was eighteen.

Gen is bored of most people because of how good he is at reading others. It's become dull for him to hunt down criminals because he's able to read them like a book.

It's not that he's like Sherlock, so intellegent that he can't connect to others and is bored with life, it's just that he can easily predict what a criminal might do next with surprising accuracy. Hence why he grows bored with his job.

He's intrigued by Senku because his crimes are so thoroughly planned out that he's unpredictable to Gen.

They bond over the fun of the chase. Gen enjoys the challenge he provides, and Senku enjoys the risk of almost being caught.

Senku doesn't like people very much, so he has very few social connections. His social circle includes Taiju, who is unaware of his crimes because Senku knows damned well he'd go to jail for him, his father, who at most vaguely knows he's up to something, and Gen.

Senku leaves gifts for Gen at his crimes.

He usually leaves playing cards and magician props since Gen was a magician in the past.

Gen and Senku are friendly rivals, especially since the deal they had struck up when they first met in person.

Senku simply has a very flexible moral compass. He's not insane or inhumane, he's just curious, and is willing to go to extremes to learn all that he can about the world.

Xeno didn't make Senku a killer, but he didn't quite help with his amoral influence and talk of dark stuff since he was young.

Taiju is completely unaware that his friend commits murders and the scientist does his best to keep it that way because he doesn't want to drag Taiju into hell with him. He also somewhat fears Taiju would abandon him for his crimes.

If Taiju figured out Senku's a murderer, he'd not hesitate to help him hide the bodies and wouldn't hate him for it.

That's not to say he wouldn't try to encourage Senku to stop. He just wouldn't force his friend to if he truly didn't want to. In his view, friends stand by one another and try to help, not hurt.

That being said, Taiju would cut ties with Senku if he really had to, but he'd try to help him first.

Byakuya would also help his son if he found out that he was committing crimes, he'd also cover for him. He is willing to go to jail for Senku, and because of that, Senku does his damnest to keep him far away from his habits.

[daebakinc]

A Snagged Thread (preview)

Pairing: Jihoon x Female Reader, ft. Seventeen and other currently undecided idols Genre: Angst, Romance Summary: You loved Jihoon, your boyfriend of three years, more than anything. But after one too many times of being forgotten, you can’t bear it. You completely disappear from his life, planning on keeping it that way forever. But when a favor for a friend forces you and Jihoon to cross paths, will you give your hearts a second chance or guard it fiercely to stop it from breaking again?

Could a night be more perfect?

A breeze warm with the promise of summer drifts through the cracked windows. It's gentle enough to kiss your face and barely push at the candle on the table's flame. The restaurant lights are dim and soft, perfect for romantic whispers and smiles glowing with infatuation. An acoustic guitar floats from carefully hidden speakers.

From listening to Jihoon's own playing, you can tell the guitarist is talented. The music speaks rather then being simply played. The melody is deceptively simple, enticing the listener to try to remember if they heard it before. It teases the ears, smoothly dancing from light flirtation to enticing seduction and back again.

Jihoon would fall under its spell for sure. His fingers would be tapping against your hand as it tried to follow the notes. As always, his mind would be squirreling away snippets and strands of inspiration to try to revive and rework in his own way later.

If he was here that is.

Instead, the chair opposite you is only occupied by a phantom. A phantom made of shards of broken promises and ugly insecurities made all the more clear by the shrinking candle reflected in the window.

“Miss.”

You glance away from the window at the waitress’ gentle voice, then away from her face. Instead, you focus on the neat bow-tie at her throat. It's too late though. The pity in her eyes was clear and stings more than you thought it would. You expected it, having seen it many times before in other faces in the same familiar situation. It never gets more bearable.

“I’m very sorry, miss, but we have a number of people waiting. If you’re not going to order, I’m going to have to ask that you give your table up.”

“Can I have another ten minutes?” You give her a smile, but you can feel how weak it is. “Please.”

“I'm really sorry, but my manager said-”

“It's okay. I understand,” you blurt out.

You get up, but do it too quickly. Your chair violently falls back, loudly smacking into the one behind you. Blessedly, it's empty. Turning to correct it, your ankle twists in its ridiculous heel, throwing you forward as well. If it weren't for the waitress catching your arm, you would have planted face-first into the hardwood.

“Miss! Are you alr-”

“I'm fine, thank you.” You take your arm back as your ears and cheeks burn. Opening your purse, you pull some bills from your wallet and press them into the waitress' hand. “I'm so sorry for wasting your time.”

Her eyes widen at the amount. She tries to give it back, protesting, “Miss, I can't -”

“Yes, you can. Someone should have a good evening.”

You all but run away, thankfully managing to avoid bumping into anyone. The shock of the cool air when you step through the door sends goosebumps up your arms and legs. A wind forces your arms to fold over your chest as insult to injury. Still, it's better to focus on that instead of the slow crumbling of your heart.

The subway to take you home is just a block away. But your feet hurt and you're tired and you just want to burrow under your blankets with the lights off. If you never re-emerge, it is what it is.

A taxi pulls up in front of the restaurant. A man dressed in a smart suit exits first, immediately turning to offer his hand to his female companion. They positively glow with the happiness of infatuation. Matching smiles. Gentle, intertwined fingers. Stars captured in their eyes.

It turns your stomach.

You had that. You know you did when you and Jihoon started dating a few years ago. One look in his eyes would steal your breath and stop your heart. You know it was the same for him. You'd seen it, felt it, breathed it. Maybe not as much recently, given how infrequently you met and how often that was spent napping together, but definitely in the beginning...

Fuck it, you think to yourself as you feel the disappointment, frustration and sheer pain building in your chest. If you're going to lose it, you'd rather do it in the privacy of a taxi than surrounded by strangers on the subway.

“Wait!” You raise your hand and rush to grab the taxi door, opening and sliding in.

After giving the driver your address, you lean your head back against the headrest. You close your tired eyes and sigh. You can do this. It's not that far. You're a big girl. You can keep it together that long.

Rubbing your eyes, you try repeating an affirmation.

“I am a strong woman. I am a strong woman,” you tell yourself. “I am a strong, beautiful, independent woman. I- I am-... I am a strong-”

The words get stuck in your throat, like they know their own futility. Before you completely lose it, you clamp your lips shut and press your tongue into the roof of your mouth. Praying you can just get home.

The taxi stops at your apartment building just in time. You place a too-large bill in the driver's hand, shouting back to keep the change as you scramble out the door.

You drop your card the first time when you try to swipe into your building. At this hour, the entry is abandoned, as are the stairs that you run up. Your breath is labored by the time you reach your door, your heart thudding even faster. It takes three tries to fit the key into the lock. When the door finally closes behind you, you immediately collapse against it.

“One more chance, Jihoon,” you murmur, sliding down to sit on the floor. “Please, don't mess it up. Please...”

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself as you take your phone from your purse. Its  screen is dark. Just like it has been most of the evening. It lights up, painfully bright in the dark of your apartment. Hoping you accidentally turned the notifications' sound off, you unlock the phone to look at your messages.

Hi, love. I'm here.

You didn't forget, did you?

I'm going to head in so we don't lose the reservation. See you inside.

Are you on your way?

Jihoon, where are you?

All your texts.

Not a single answer. Not even a single 'read' next to them.

The iron claws squeezing your heart clamp down harder. Is this what a heart attack feels like?

This isn't the first time Jihoon was a no-show for a date. He always had an excuse. A filming ran late. He lost track of time in the studio. The group needed to do an extra practice.

Every time, Jihoon held your hands, his apology as much in his eyes as his words. Every time, you smiled and forgave him.

He'd promised this time. He'd promised he wouldn't forget. He'd promised he'd be there. You'd believed him, even making a dress especially for the occasion.

But he failed you again. Ignored you again. Forgot you, again.

You feel the urge to throw your phone and scream, but it's gone in an instant. It's too much effort. A heavy, ugly hollowness fills the void left by the brief flash of anger. Instead, you let your phone slip between your fingers onto the floor. Just like your body wants to.

Your vision blurs as words utterly fail in the face of choked down sobs now erupting. The taste of salty tears run down your cheeks to catch on your lips. Your chest palpitates with your hiccupping breaths. It's like the shreds of your heart are attempting escape by battering their way through. Burying your head in your arms, you have no choice but to drown in the tidal wave of hurt slamming into you over and over again.

You are tired. So tired of the disappointment and the insecurities Jihoon's repeated absences seem to affirm. You are tired of feeling like you, your relationship, mean nothing to him. That you are all the things your worst fears hissed in your mind for years. The demons you've fought and once had Jihoon fighting alongside you.

That you are forgettable.

Unworthy.

Unlovable.

As you lie on the floor shaking, aching, and alone, you can't help thinking one thing.

Enough.

Jihoon sits in front of his computer in the studio. His fingers lightly tap against the mouse, where they've been glued for hours. There's something missing from the melody. He just hasn't figured it out yet. He hits play, settling into his chair, hunting intently for that piece to make it perfect.

Just as he feels it inching closer, someone knocks on the door.

“What?” he snaps, whipping his chair around.

Jeonghan pops his head in, completely unfazed by his groupmate's biting tone. “Jihoon, you're still here?”

“Yeah.” He spins his chair back around. “I need to finish this song. It's driving me crazy.”

“Is it the one you've been working on since last month?”

Jihoon hums in agreement.

“Have you asked Bumzu for help yet? Maybe you're too stuck in your own head.”

“Not yet... but getting a second opinion isn't a bad idea. Would you mind listening?”

“Sure.” Jeonghan comes in, grabbing the extra chair and wheeling it beside Jihoon. “Oh, by the way, you never told us how your anniversary date went. Did Y/N like the restaurant?”

Jihoon freezes, his hand hovering over the mouse. He had to have misheard. “Our what?”

His groupmate stares at him. Speaking slowly, Jeonghan says, “You and your girlfriend's third anniversary. Like four weeks ago. You’d only been arranging just the right restaurant for it for months....”

“Fuck,” Jihoon groans, slouching back into his chair with his face in his hands. His heart sickeningly drops in his chest.

“Jihoon, please don't tell me you forgot.”

His mind races through the days that feel like a blur. How did he not remember? How? “I think I screwed up.”

“Missing an anniversary? Yeah, I think you did.” Jeonghan gets up, patting his shoulder. “I'm going to leave. I think you have more important things than a song.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Jihoon scrubs his face with his hands before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He frowns at it. He can't even remember the last time you two talked, he's been so busy. Why didn't you call him, text him? If not the day of your anniversary, why not after?

He checks his call log. Two missed calls from you from a week or two ago. He'd meant to call you back on those, but never did. Stupid.

Then, he checks your chat. That's when he sees the number of notifications. “What the hell...”

Jihoon curses again as he remembers that one night. He doesn't even remember when it was. All he recalls is getting annoyed at the back to back beeps alerting him to messages when he was neck-deep in composing a song. Assuming it was the other members sending memes in the group chat, he'd silenced the notifications and tossed the phone back. He must have never gone back to check if they were on again.

Dammit. You have every right to be pissed at him.

He's more than aware of how much you put up with. From keeping your relationship low-key to constant rescheduling around his schedule. The awkward number of times he's had to apologize for missing a date or falling asleep while you told him about a new design you were trying at work. Yet somehow, you love him enough to always smile, tell him it's alright, and keep on loving him. Sometimes, he can't help but wonder if he's worthy of the love of such a saint.  

Switching back to calls, Jihoon presses your speed dial. Unsurprisingly, he gets your voicemail. Sighing, he leans forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Hi, it's me...” He clears his throat, embarrassment and guilt robbing him of eloquence. “I'm really, really sorry I missed our date. I just saw that I accidentally turned the notifications off on our chat. I can't believe I did that. I wasn't ignoring you on purpose, I promise. I'm an idiot and I can't blame you for being upset with me. I've just been really busy with work. You know how it is... I'll come by your place later to apologize in person. I promise, I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry... I love you.”

Although Jihoon had every intention of going to your apartment that very night, it's a few days later that he finally makes it there. As he climbs the steps, he can feel his hands shaking. How will you react when he shows up? Sure, he's made mistakes and you've fought before, but never this bad.

Will you be angry? Silent? Sad? God, he hopes you don't cry. He can't stand when you cry because of him. He never knows what to do when he makes you cry.

Whatever you do, Jihoon reminds himself, he'll deal with it. He'll take it. He deserves it after what he did. With that resolve, he tightens his fingers around the bouquet of sunflowers he's carrying. He'll do anything to make it up to you.

Reaching your apartment door, he knocks. When the door mechanisms click, Jihoon straightens his shoulders and fixes on his best apology face on. However, it’s not your face that greets him as the door opens. Only empty space.

“Who’re you?” asks a small, high-pitched voice.

Jihoon looks down over the bouquet into the eyes of an inquisitive child. He glances over at the number beside the door. It’s definitely yours. Is one of your friends with a kid visiting?

“Um, hi. Is –”

An older woman Jihoon doesn't recognize rushes from behind the door to scoop up the child. “Jiah, what did I tell you about opening the door?”

“Don't open the door for strangers,” the child innocently replies.

“Excuse me,” Jihoon says politely, “but is Y/N here?”

The woman shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but there’s no one here by that name.”

It feels like someone poured Arctic water over his head. That's not possible. “What?”

“We just moved in last week. I'm sorry.”

Panicking when the woman starts to close the door, Jihoon catches it with his hand. “Do you know where the woman who lived here before moved?”

“No. I don’t even know her name.”

He lets go as the door closes, his fingers numb. Why would you move? Did you tell him?You must have mentioned your new address in the messages.

He hurriedly opens your chat, reading the messages. His heart drops further and further with each. Then, he gets to the last two, spaced a day apart, and it absolutely stops.

Jihoon, this is our last chance. Please call me back.

I'm sorry. I can't.

The sunflowers fall to the floor, forgotten as Jihoon runs back the way he had come. He reaches the street, out of breath. He can't think, only feel. He feels like he should run, run through the city calling your name until his legs give out.

You wouldn't just leave like this. You wouldn't abandon him. Not like this.

A single coherent thought breaks its way through his panic. Call her. His fumbling fingers hit your number.

“Come on, come on, pick up,” he begs.

Immediately, instead of ringtone, he gets the message, I’m sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please try again.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e1: das mouse

dejavu! have we been here before?

episode summary: brain concocts a hypnotic pancake recipe in order to hypnotise the surrounding population into being his loyal minions. however, one of the crucial ingredients is the meat of a specific type of crab, which can only be found in the reckage of the titanic.

the rundown:

we open with the mice attempting to blow their cage open.

SENIOR PRODUCER: TOM RUEGGER. sorry about that, y’all, but the opening credits are in the actual show, now, so nothing i can really do about it. at least they seem to have a water bottle in their cage, this time, which is good.

NEVER MIND I GUESS. IT EXPLODED. literally every frame there is a smear frame - again, nothing i can do.

poor mousie go bomp. ):

apparently, the plan was less regarding explosive force, and more to set off a rube goldberg chain of events that completely disobey the laws of physics to end up picking the lock.

PRODUCED BY RUSTY MILLS

it’s hard to convey without animation, but this spoon flies through the air and just straight up lands in the lock. it’s wild.

“ooo!” says pinky, watching this all impossibly unfold. “good one, brain!”

“they’re all good ones, pinky.” we will never be free of brain’s face, it seems.

as the mice wander along, brain tells pinky that tonight’s plan will "recieve the aid of legions of unassuming humans”, because he intends to hypnotise them all with the secretions of!

“what, a frog?”

yes, a frog. apparently the frog sweats out hypnotic fluid. it is Filled With Peptides. (pinky’s response to this is “naaaaaarf”, which is very helpful.) after they collect this fluid, brain just needs to work out how to get thousands of people to ingest it.

“like a giant pancake jambouree?”

“please, pinky, i--”

“yes.”

so pancake jambouree it is. brain cooks pinky an experimental batch before he decides to release them to the masses.

look at brain’s lil dress! and pinky has his tongue stuck out. everyone here is having a good time and it’s very cute. this is exactly what lori alexander wants marriage to be.

pinky does briefly express his concerns that he might, yknow, be hypnotised, but apparently the concoction doesn’t attain Full Potency until he adds the meat of a fancy crab, and these are just test batches so he can work out how to hide the taste of the Frog Juice.

it goes about as well as one would hope.

but never mind, eh? time for crab.

turns out all the crab is stored in the titanic.

still, brain is pretty convinced that they can just.... go down there and get it. look at his lil scheming face. pinky argues during today’s pondering segment that “there’s still a bug stuck in there from last time” (okay?) and brain cuts him off to insist that they GO DOWN TO THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN AND RAISE THE HULL OF THAT SORROWFUL SHIP.

he does a gay little point and everything.

so obviously, they have to steal a boat.

brain got one taste of crime from stealing that minivan, and it just never went away.

“behold the alvin, pinky. our ticket to the ocean depths.”

“look, brain! a baby sub on the front!”

“that’s the jason junior, pinky. an additional sub carried by the alvin for remote exploring.”

it’s an additional sub because there’s already one on this mission. (i sweat, watching the fbi draw their guns on me, and insist that i definitely meant submarine. what else could that be, right, guys?)

(the fbi put their guns down.)

anyway the mice steal the boat.

in they go.

the first thing brain does is swap out his hat for one that he brought with him, and demand to be referred to as “captain brain”, so he is definitely someone everyone should take seriously.

he just packed that specifically.

the second thing he does is pull out his big map of the ocean and give pinky a whole bunch of co-ordinates to follow. “bowplans at 2-2-9, on my mark!”

“um, brain?”

well that’s a bastard. brain blames “the sub club”, which i’m sure he knows a lot about BECAUSE HE’S REALLY INTO SUBMARINES, MR PRESIDENT, PLEASE WITHDRAW YOUR MEN

and pinky works out that he can dislodge the wrench-- the submarine clamp??? the county council clamped their submarine for overstaying their welcome in the library submarine park???? - enough for them to make right turns, but not left. inconvenient, but doable.

but before they can set off, brain directs pinky to the radar console.

this apparently stands for Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, and is their special signal that they would use to trace their submarines for oceanographic purposes. brain requests that pinky randomise the signal so they’re not followed.

a difficult job? sure. good thing pinky is a trained sub operator with a good few years of experience.

.....you can literally see him operating the submarine a few pictures up. stop looking at me like that.

with a few minutes of careful handiwork, pinky successfully scrambles the sub’s internal computation, and leaves it probably a little dazed and confused.

good thing ‘narf’ doesn’t actually mean anything, in this universe, apart from being one of pinky’s verbal tics?

oh dear.

turns out that the CIA have found the submarine, and have realised that it is, for the most part, unidentified, apart from the letters NARF.

“have you ever heard of jack mcguire?”

“captain, north atlantic. cold war nut. he was discharged-- always saying that when the enemy arrived, it would be with some mythical--”

“nuclear attack readiness formation.”

“narf.”

“the old man is concerned.”

“the president?”

“no, just some... random old man.”

so dearest “jonesy” (blonde) is instructed to track down jack mcguire in hopes to get rid of the submarine. because nobody can track down a sub like jack mcguire (hm) and “the boys want that thing terminated.”

“you mean the pentagon?”

“no, my two boys, josh and aaron.”

meanwhile, at the sub club, brain plots their course for the titanic.

see they’re here,

and the titanic is there,

but they can only make right turns, so what should be a two hour journey will take, by brain’s calculation,

“seven months.”

“well. that’s a bit longer, then. isn’t it.”

“are you jack mcguire?”

“who wants to know?”

“the cia. got a job for you. there’s a sub in the water, and they want it terminated.”

“ha.”

“so the boys finally saw it my way, huh?”

“the pentagon?”

“no. josh and aaron.”

“hold onto your newtons, desk jockey. we’re going sub hunting.”

“how long have we been at sea, brain?”

“seventeen minutes.”

it turns out that pinky is so bored that if he doesn’t do something soon, he’ll die. please, brain. this is also me whenever i have to spend more than half an hour in the car.

brain suggests that he tries to improve his pancake recipe, and pinky can try it out for him.

pinky decides that actually, he’s busy, thank you very much.

no dice.

“i’ve got another reading”, says jonesy, in the meantime.

“go.”

“4-6-0-0-5, bearing 2-2-7.”

“they’re running the nautilus.”

“the what?”

“1943. german boat captain heinz grindelwald evaded destruction by running a circular course, based on--”

“a nautilus shell.”

“so we cut them off.”

“whoever these guys are, they’re good. they’re probably plotting a missile trajectory at the oval office as we speak.”

meanwhile, pinky throws up.

“well? any better?”

i hope that answers your question, brain.

“pinky! are you alright?”

cute!

he does drop him immediately after pinky confirms that he is, indeed, still alive, but it was cute while it lasted.

“why don’t you let me try making the pancakes yummy, brain? my mother fed us very well.”

“please, pinky. you’re practically the poster child for cheese whiz.”

“pleaaaaaaaaaase.”

(he gets to make the pancakes.)

because they have bigger problems now, presumably!

that can’t be good.

it wasn’t!

and neither is that. brain laments that “someone is dropping death charges,” while pinky goes and shuts down the engine.

the sub operator saves the day once again.

“THIS IS CAPTAIN JACK MCGUIRE. IDENTIFY YOURSELVES OR BE DESTROYED.”

“this is..... jacques cousteau.”

“really. can you prove that?”

“here, ze ocean is teeming with life. but everywhere, there are signs of man’s encroachment.”

“darn! it is jacques cousteau!”

unfortunately pinky decides now is a good time to chime in with a “haha, nice cousteau, brain” so jack declares that his “little ruse will cost him.”

“i must admit. i admire your skill. perhaps in another time, maybe we could have been friends. we are very much alike, you and i.”

“i doubt that.”

so mcguire fires another charge, and the mice go down. ocean mice! sink.

):

“haha! yeah! we did it!”

“i get no joy from the demise of another man.”

“....usually.”

“HAHA YEAH WE DID IT YES YES YES WE GOTTEM WE GOTTEM WE GOTTEM”

(”take the jason hr on ahead full, mr pinky.”

“aye aye, captain brain.”)

conclusion:

this is a long episode.

still, now that they have a vehicle that steers properly, the boys seem to make it okay.

“we should be approaching the hull of the titanic at any--”

DONK.

“naaaaaaarf.”

“yes, pinky. soon we will have the white crabs of the titanic, and then,”

WE SHALL HAVE THE WORLD

“about that recipe, brain, and, um, getting rid of that bad taste--”

“not now, pinky.”

“but brain?”

“just cut it out.”

“oh! aye aye.”

hm.

so the mice bodge an air pressure mechanism to yeet the titanic to the surface. as you do.

“but brain, the icky stuff--”

“i said cut it out, pinky.”

hmmmm.

the balloon expands, as balloons do, and the titanic wobbles a bit.

RISE, LITTLE ONE, AND BE FREE

neat!

“our journey is almost at at end, my friend! we release the air and propel the ship!”

that’s a very cute happy face!

so brain does exactly that, and the titanic farts itself over to california.

i’m not exaggerating.

perhaps brain feels vaguely at home on the titanic. he has vague memories of being drunk out of his mind, and bathing in a sink. best not to unpack that.

instead, he decides to crash it into acme labs. for the lols.

“yes!”

(:

the pancakes are jamboureeing. it’s very cute.

jonesey and mcguire are here too! “nothing like a pancake jambouree after blowing up a sub, huh.”

they’re dating now, i guess. i mean, i hope they’re dating. they should be.

“as the hypnotic fluid winds itself through the minds of our friends, they shall return, happy and content to have us rule over them.”

“well isn’t that nice,” says pinky, in a very condescending manner. “narf.”

“but tell me, pinky, about your pancake batter. how did you manage to hide the taste of the hypnotic sapo?”

“well, the hypnotic stuff tasted terrible, brain. so like you said. i cut it out.”

bonk.

anyway this one goes to pinky because he is emotionally intelligent enough to A, understand sarcasm, and B, to know and/or remember what the plan was in the first place. perhaps he deliberately threw it out to make sure nobody had to eat bad pancakes? honestly, i don’t blame him. pinky, defender of the earth.

brain: 4 ½ pinky: 6 ½ outside influence: 10

“here’s our course. heading 3-2-9, depth 100 metres, bowplanes at 15 degrees. any questions?”

“um. if you could be any animal, what would it be.”

“oh, i’d have to say a hawk, pinky,”

“so i could soar through the sky,”

“and grab tiny white mice in my claws,”

“and feed them to my young.”

“that’s just... weird, brain.”

[susoftjockau]

The Plan - Part Four (Carly) + Epilogue

There was a reason Carly was written last on the list she and Steven had back at the food truck.

One fact to recall was the cold intensity of her dorm mate — who, throughout her moments of bumping into her in the early mornings to pack up and get ready for classes — always brushed her aside and never spoken a word or greeting before going through the front door. Sure, they shared the same kitchen island, brewing their favorites — coffee and tea, eating the same ingredients to survive the day, but the atmosphere she bore off was akin to a snake observing the trappings of a mouse.

In other words, she was scary. Very scary.

Yet even with this insight, Connie tried her best to talk to her, watching shows on the couch as time went by. The shows varied from the casual viewing: there was Under the Knife, going on for twenty minutes before they moved on; Poindexter, which took an hour until interest became fleeting at the newest season; Dogcopter 3 — which Carly laid down the inevitable rating of ‘mediocre and a disaster to the Dogcopter franchise’; and many other shows and movies that didn’t live up to their expectations and excitement for the day.

It wasn’t exciting, well; it felt exciting in its own way. Even with the notion they had to hang out for a great period of time, there weren’t any pushes to speak. It was just the two of them, watching fictional characters go through life in the most poetic or dumbest ways a writer could implement them to do. Connie wished it stayed that way. She loved staying in this perpetual state of media watching, no discourse to be found except for the occasional comments from both of them on how an anime didn’t work out or how a particular movie would rather flaunt its busty women around than a coherent plot.

But Carly found a way to break that silence.

And it was all because of Clockwork Philosopher; that and its remake.

Connie was the type to defend, be the morally correct debater for stuff such as Clockwork Philosopher and its remade counterpart, but that’s the tricky part when it came to that anime series in question: there were committed fans from both ends, ready to fight to the teeth on what they believe is crucial, even if Philosopher’s Solitude version was the best piece of media she’d ever consumed in all her seventeen years of living. Carly was the one who didn’t believe such a statement, and, much to Connie’s dismay, was okay with arguing this over hot cocoa and tea.

It didn’t come out of nowhere. It was a gradual rise where both of them brought upon comments of the characters, of the plot, of the people they rooted for and somehow it all lead up to the discussion on which was better: Clockwork Philosopher or the Solitude version.

Which one had the appeal? Which one carried favorability to both of them?

Connie chose Solitude.

Carly, to her surprise, chose the original.

When asking her why, Carly responded.

“Solitude didn’t play up to what I expected.” It was calm, the type of voice that sounded matter-of-fact if one focused, if one took the time to listen to the lilt in her words. “Instead of giving me an interesting dichotomy between characters and commentary over the human experience, I got shounen caricatures — no tinkering with archetypes, nothing about how they full-on cope; just people who don’t change, keeping up with their platitudes rather than having it be challenged to the brink.”

“But they do though.” She kept herself to the sidelines with this whole debacle, but there was a passion riding her words, hidden in the need to keep herself composed and correct. Debating was something she always had a passion for. There was something intense in being able to argue with someone over something you’ve researched or binged for so long, like the reward was to gloat or get some form of digital pat on the back for one’s diligence towards the whole thing. 

They fumbled with their cups, warm to the touch, allowing their television to go on with a scene from the anime in question. Connie continued on. “What you’re saying goes against a great deal with Solitude. People have been subverted, given life and roles in the anime than in the original, they’re seen as people rather than cardboard cut-outs.”

Carly gave a nod to that. Another sip greeting the quiet. “I’m curious. Can you explain more of your reasons?”

And the argument would continue forth for a while. 

Both watched the other in this state of bliss and gripes in their tranquil bubble. At first, Connie tried her best to not get involved. She liked conflict where the future of it was determined, not given the option to roam around in probability, to whatever hellish path in consequences it had in mind. She added her pieces, given viewpoints that should’ve brought Carly to her knees, yet Carly didn’t heed.

Carly was composed throughout it. With that curious look of hers, eyeing her with no malice but of intense scrutiny akin to a magnifying glass. Something about it left her restless, lost in a myriad of threads where they would babble and discuss the anime in such a way that Connie had no clue when it would end; whether they would stop it altogether and just allow themselves to watch was an inevitable question — and the answer was: they wouldn’t.

Connie wanted that win. That satisfaction of saying ‘ahah’ to the woman’s face, and Carly — illegible as ever — seemed to prod at her, cornering her in ways that made her feel heated and tense. How could she be so calculated over this? Usually when Connie argued it was over forums where another would get aggressive, ready to rip her teeth out with emotion rather than facts, and when that happened she felt accomplished, morally justified, for she took it with stride. There weren’t any moments where she’d notice a dip in her words or her viewpoints (everything looked solid, put-together, thought out). But not here.

Just...hell no. Not here.

Carly clicked her tongue, harsh and quick. The warmth of their cups were gone, drank to the drenches with nowhere else to go but onto the coffee table in front of them. Connie was tapping her knee. The other didn’t seem to fidget, or sweat, or babble; she looked poised. It was irritating to watch now that the argument had gotten more intense.

“Look.” She started, with that same passive tone to her that made Connie want to groan out in annoyance. But Connie was supposed to be kind, respectful. She wasn’t going to blow a gasket over an argument like this, she wasn’t that petty. “An anime could be the most perfect piece of media in all the land, but that still won’t bargain with me. If they hit the objective writing goals then I don’t care — good on them for being responsible writers, following and conforming to the status of writing in general — but if a writer can’t make me feel the humanity in them, then it’s not worth it. If they can’t get out of their comfort zone and go beyond then there’s no point, it’s boring to me.”

“But they do go beyond.” Connie gritted her teeth, watching the woman continue to stare at her, with that muted expression of hers. She was always calm, always the one to resolve and be the strong and morally-correct debater with animes such as this, but it was hard to stare at Carly with this feeling, this lack of victory. There was the crushing reality that this wasn’t the internet; that the choice to just walk away with that feeling of accomplishment was long gone at this point. So everything to her fell flat, each argument that rose from her lips cornered to something incomprehensible. There was one last argument she had in her mind. Like one would grapple straws, she used it. In her heart, in her timid but firey heart, she wanted to win. “They didn't even give the female characters the moments to be fully realized in the original until Solitude showed off their competency and involvement!"

"But it isn't." Carly's expression kept mute, voice level. It pinched at her, hard. God, why is everything getting crowded? Scorching to the collar? "When it came to character, the original nailed it down. Solitude gave the screen time, but not the true exploration of mankind."

"But you're ignoring the characters they've done justice."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm just being level and open-minded," Carly said. "You don't have to get so heated about this if you’re going to be a sore loser over this."

She shot up.

"Can you stop being a bitch about this!?" Connie widened her eyes at that. Looking at Carly, something shifted in her expression too, illegible and foreign, terrifying to process.

She never did that before, she never did that before to anyone in real life.

She fucked up. She fucked up.

Carly's going to hunt her down for this, condemn her to some weird-ass college version of the Salem trials, and it's all her fau—

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

Connie looked at her: Carly's eyes crinkled in amusement, a grin on her features — genuine, no malice to be found. "What?"

"Don't just stand there." Carly ushered her. "Go on, tell me!"

"I don't know, I'm sor—"

"You don't like my opinions." Carly continued, voice rising a bit. "You don't want to agree with them; why are you trying to conform and stay silent when you could tell me that my opinions could be debated?"

"Because that would be rude!"

"What's more rude?" She motioned towards the show. "Telling me that Shou Tucker isn't a bastard or yelling at me that my way of arguing could be jarring to listen to?"

Connie stumbled, words spilling out in incoherent rivers — all the justifications and reasons became cut-up, cut off as she tried to find some silver of rationality that would make Carly back down. But she did like the fight...didn't she?

"Give me your fire, Maheswaran." Carly's eyes narrowed. "Or I'll bring my honest-to-God opinions to the table."

She hesitated. "What honest opinions?"

"About anything we're discussing right now. In fact, I'm planning to bring out the big guns."

"What do you—"

"SAO."

No.

No no no no no.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

Connie saw the grin, the eagerness, and she couldn't help but feel it rub off on her — the same expression adorning her features.

Carly took it as the go-to, for the next statement hit both of them like a gunshot: 

"SAO isn't bad of a show."

She really liked this, didn’t she?

-----

“Well, that’s good!” Steven had that beam of a smile again, starting to lean more against the table — which Connie advised against before the table could rock more at his weight. “Like I said, three is better than nothing. You did amazing!”

In retrospect, she saw that too. There was still the awkwardness with many of them, but she now had something better: a few acquaintances (friends, they were friends) who are okay with having her in the group, making things easier if she needed it. Connie rubbed her neck, trying her best to respond. “Yeah. But the next few days aren’t going to be great.”

In their plan, they had a few things settled. One of them was the idea of hangouts, wherein their attempts to make her loosen up and relax to Steven’s group of friends, she’ll be exposed to them interacting with her for a great deal of the day. And the idea didn’t feel pleasant. It felt claustrophobic more than anything.

She looked down. Steven’s hand was on hers, warmth spreading to her knuckles as the man kept his grip. It was soft, tender. He wasn’t going to hurt her, and that always was a fact when it came to Steven. A sweetheart by trade. “You don’t have to do it immediately. It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow or even in a few months. It all comes down to how comfortable you are.”

Connie smiled at him, giving the man a small nod. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready, okay?” She shifted their hands, allowing her to reciprocate his hold, allowing their intertwined fingers to play and brush against the other. “I want to hang out with you. I want to hang out with your friends. I just need some time.”

He hummed. “Alright. We’ll start on your word.”

It was a relief to know he was careful. It was a relief to know that he cared.

- @borkthemork

[the-trig-and-tonics]

Trig Point Premier League - Trig 4

Birchwood Park

After leaving the Upper Eaton trig, we started on our way to our next stop at Birchwood Park. The first part of the journey took us along a road where we spied a tall concrete pillar standing in a field. It caught our eye as it resembled a trig pillar. We spent a bit of time trying to work out why it was there.

As we inspected this interesting sculpture, we noticed down the hill some buildings which I thought looked like Abbotsholme School. I was particularly interested to know if it was the school as my niece lives and works there. Carol got a snap for me to show her, so we can find out if my inkling was correct.

After this pit stop, we were back on the road, running towards Roston. It was so interesting taking in new scenery and surroundings. It was not an easy run though, we just seemed to be going up, up, up. On one bank we could feel the gravity pulling us forward, the gradient was so steep. Hills never defeat us though and soon we were rewarded with spectacular views. It wasn’t long before we reached another local, landmark in the shape of a memorial built to remember Roston Airfield which had opened in 1916 and closed in 1918. We definitely had to have a few photos there.

We were now on the flat and running towards the reservoir which meant we were nearly at our second trig. We gained access through the reservoir gate and then hopped over a fence in the far corner. But where was the trig? Carol had read on Trigpointing UK that it was sitting in a hedge. There was a clearing where lots of hedges had been pulled out but we couldn't see the trig. The description had made out the trig was close to the reservoir but it wasn’t there so we started following another hedge up the field, peering in every gap. Suddenly we saw it, tucked in the holly hedge. We’d found it!

To the uninitiated, trigs might look all the same, but to us they are all unique. Because of their location, every trig is an individual structure and Birchwood Park was no exception. Some sit boldly, exposed to the elements but this one appeared to be shy, hiding among the branches. We had to tuck in, amongst the spiky leaves, to get our photos. After we had taken lots of shots we made our way out of the field and we could see the hedge, where we had found the trig, was running parallel with the road. As we set off, we scoured the hedge row and were rewarded with a final glimpse of this bashful trig, desperately trying to conceal itself in the bushes.

We had climbed so high to reach the trig I thought we would have a lovely downhill route stretching before us. Don’t get me wrong, there was some down hill but there was also a lot of uphill too. However, there were lots more interesting sights to see as we started to make our way back to Uttoxeter. As we ran through Marston Montgomery, we saw beautiful properties for sale and a sign in the Churchyard explaining about Commonwealth War Graves located there. We also came across a road sign telling us that Perth is 7857 miles away. Carol got a photo of me standing beneath it so I could send it to my son, who lives in Australia. When I told Kevin about it, he was impressed but said we now need to find one with Brisbane. We’ll keep hunting, Kevin!

As we ran on, we had a bit of a funny experience with two horse riders. There was a woman and girl ambling along on their horses and we seemed to be playing cat and mouse with them. They were in front and then we were. We reached a right turning that we had to take and at this point two riders reached the junction at the same time as us. I noticed they were not the two we’d seen before. We scooted on ahead and left these riders behind. We ran through the beautiful hamlet of Somersal Herbert (another place I’d never even heard of, let alone visited), turned a corner and there were the earlier two horse riders in front of us. We just couldn’t understand how they had got there so quickly. We just had to catch them up and ask how they had done it. Apparently, they had cut off before the junction where we had turned, meaning they had taken a shorter route. Carol was still perplexed though. She had thought the two riders we had met at the junction were the two earlier riders and was therefore even more amazed to see them in front. We had a laugh about it as we carried on with our run.

We made our way back into Doveridge along the old Derby route. We were nearly back but there was still one more point of interest to snap. As we made our way to the pathway which leads back to Uttoxeter we saw a sign saying Doveridge Burial Ground. It was just a piece of land that was blocked off with concrete boulders so no vehicles could get in. We wondered if it could be an ancient burial area. However, to date we have not found anything out about the place so if anyone knows the history of this land please let us know.

We were soon making our way back onto car park at Uttoxeter. Aching legs after a seventeen mile run but elated at what we had found during the morning. It certainly can’t get any better than this.

[eldritchsurveys]

1055.

How often do you watch the news? >> I don’t watch it at all.

Would you rather read the news online? >> When I do want to find out about something, I do just look it up online. But mostly I avoid all mention of current events as often as possible. I have really received no benefits from knowing as much about what’s going on in the world as the internet wants me to, and I think just knowing what’s going on locally (as in, the actual state I live in, with references to federal stuff when needed) is good enough. The internet has provided me with many wonderful things; too much knowledge about every awful thing going on at all times at every point on the globe (or even every point in this country) is not one of those things.

Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? >> This one, I guess. I end up on it at some point every day.

Have you ever shopped online? >> Yes.

Have you ever held a snake? >> I’ve touched one, but not held one.

Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? >> I’ve picked up a turtle that I saw in my backyard when I was a preteen. I’ve never held a live crawfish.

Have you ever eaten gumbo?  >> Yes.

Or do you not like spicy food? >> Oh, I love spicy food.

What about sweet food? >> I prefer sweetness as a balancer -- like, sweet and spicy is excellent, sweet and savoury, sweet and sour... all good. When I eat fruit, I usually like to eat it with other things like crackers and cheese. Flavour complexity is my jam.

Are the Sour Patch Kids commercials funny? >> Meh. They’re commercials, so I hate them on principle.

Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? >> I have some in the car because Lazarus Naturals sent me a free bottle of their lemon-scented sanitiser once with my CBD order. It smells nice, and it’s handy to have, so I kept it. I don’t usually like hand sanitisers, though.

Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? >> No.

Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? >> I do not live with a parent and I am very happy with that.

When did/when do you want to move out? >> I left home at seventeen. I went back a couple of times, but it was never a long-term arrangement.

Have you ever been on a cruise? >> No.

Have you ever played frisbee? >> No.

Are you better at catching or throwing? >> Uh.

Did you donate to the Haiti relief fund? >> No.

Did you do so with your cell phone? >> ---

Have you ever seen Scare Tactics? Would you ever put your friend on that show? Would they totally kill you? >> I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Speaking of killing things... have you ever hit an animal with your car? Did you ever go back and check if it was okay? >> I don’t drive.

What game systems do you own? >> We have a 360, a PS4, a Wii, a Switch, a 3DS, a Vita, and of course our computers and phones.

Do you ever play computer games? >> I usually play computer games.

Do you have a wireless mouse? What about a laser mouse? >> Sparrow has the wireless mouse I used to use. I use a wired one now.

Do you wear polos? >> No.

Did you used to have a lunchbox? >> In elementary, yes.

How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? >> I always had to bring my lunch to school when I was a child because school food ran counter to my father’s diet (and I didn’t start being able to choose my food until high school).

What was/is your favorite school lunch? >> ---

When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? >> Yesterday. Just a regular floppy beanie.

Do you wear hats often? >> No, just when it’s cold. I didn’t even wear the hat for that long yesterday, because I run hot and it has to be way colder than like 40 degrees for me to really need to bundle up.

Have you ever seen Ghost Hunters? Do you think it's all fake? >> Never seen it, don’t care about it.

Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? >> No.

What room are you sitting in? Are you comfy? >> My bedroom. Yes.

Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? >> Gold, neither, earrings, no preference. I like jewelry but I’m very particular about it.

Have you ever made jewelry? >> When I was a kid. Oh, and I made kandi a few times with Sigma back in those days.

Do you have any unique hobbies? >> No.

Have you ever put together a model airplane? What about a model car? >> I put together a model car with my father once as a kid.

Do you have a beanbag chair? What about a futon? How about a popasan chair? Or are all those words pretty much a foreign language to you? >> I don’t know what a popasan chair is, but I do not own a beanbag chair and I no longer sleep on a futon (thank god).

Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? >> No.

Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? >> No.

Would you date a handsome mariachi player who never stopped playing? >> No........

Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? >> No.

Do you have a thermos? >> No.

Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? >> Coffee.

Do you like green tea? >> I love green tea.

Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? >> Nah, not anymore.

Is there a wicker basket in the room? How about an empty bowl? >> No.

Do you like cheetos? Do you lick your fingers after eating them? >> I hate Cheetos.

Have you ever fed the birds? >> Yes.

Did it cost tuppence a bag? >> ???

Do you know where that line is from? >> I do not, and this is the second survey I’ve had reference it in recent memory. Eventually I’ll just look it up.

Does your family own guns? >> I do not own a gun.

Do you like mini coopers? What about PT Cruisers? >> I don’t much care for either.

Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? >> If anyone’s given me flowers, it was probably Sparrow. Although I don’t remember ever receiving flowers.

Have you ever ridden on a motor cycle? >> Yes, many times.

Where you live, what are the laws regarding helmets? >> I’m not sure, because I see a lot of people riding around without them. I grew up thinking they were mandatory everywhere, but I guess it varies from state to state.

Do you chase after the ice cream truck? >> I have never done this.

When I say the year 1492, what comes to mind? >> “Columbus sailed the ocean blue”, unfortunately.

Do you prefer to buy or rent DVDs? >> ---

What was your favorite book as a child? >> I had a few.

Who is your favorite super hero? >> ---

Have you ever eaten at Chik-fil-a? >> Yep.

Have you ever seen a dead body? >> Not a human one.

Have you ever tried to read the dictionary the whole way through? >> I read the dictionary a lot as a child. I don’t know how far I got or anything because I wasn’t interested in keeping track of that. I was just doing it for fun.

What does your umbrella look like? >> The one I use most is red and black.

Do/did you have any hot teachers? Or is that thought kind of gross? >> I’ve had teachers I thought were attractive.

Is anyone you know pregnant? >> No.

Do you know any twins? >> No.

Do you spray tan? >> No.

Would you consider yourself healthy? >> I don’t really think about it. I haven’t been sick and I don’t have mysterious pains that I can’t explain (like, if my neck hurts it’s because I slept wrong or whatever; it’s traceable and not chronic) and my body functions relatively well, so I assume I’m mostly healthy, physically. My mental health is always up for debate.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Public Sex

There were a lot to look through for this one so I’m bound to make mistakes. Let me know if I forgot a whole category of public sex or what fics I’m missing from this list.

** PDA (no smut) ** Outdoor/Tent/Car Sex ** With People Around Them ** Public Bathroom ** Other Public Sex

***** PDA (no smut) *****

nape of his neck he made his descent by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug (232 words)

where is home? by retts (576 words) - Moving in, the Isak and Even way

Seriøst? by CiaraSky (716 words) - Isak and Even go Ice Skating.

can i borrow a kiss? by spoopydumpling (1.2k words) - The boys pregame at Isak and Even’s place, then head off to a party with a large amount of drinking and a whole lot of flirting.

We are by ReadingDreams07 (1.4k words) - The au where Isak starts to do more PDA because the first years wouldn’t stop looking at this boyfriend.

Let’s go home by nneazzz (1.5k words) - This is a sequel to Evak texting:) Light PDA. Some homophobia.

For science by nofeartina (1.9k words) - The smut in this is not in public. Prompt fill for: Isak getting all worked up from “neck stuff” at inappropriate times

(Not so) Public Displays of Affection by radiantarrow (2.3k words) - five times Isak was comfortable with PDA around his friends, and the one time he was comfortable with it in public

Push by nofeartina (2.9k words) - So, normally, Even tries to be supportive of Isak’s ban on PDA. But sometimes, like tonight, he just hates it. (With smut)

affection by alotofphandoms (3.3k words) - Isak notices something enticing Even starts doing, and Isak can’t help getting flustered every time.

***** Outdoor/Tent/Car Sex *****

ease away by Skamtrash (984 words) - Even turns Isak on while eating a banana. They fuck it out in the backyard.

Cotton Candy Pink by riyku (1.4k words) - It’s the kinda place where a seventeen year old boy in knee highs and a short schoolgirl skirt can belly up to the bar and order a beer for himself and another for his boyfriend, and the bartender won’t say a word. Dark alley sex.

Frisky by evaksskam (1.8k words) - “Officer, I know you’re frisking me and all, but what the fuck? Your hand is on my dick?” Isak asked, trying to keep calm. Car sex.

Pulls Me In Enough to Keep Me Guessing by plumclouds (2.2k words) - Even partakes in a traditional hunt. He doesn’t expect anything to come out of it, but the night has many surprises in store. They’re all named Isak.

Packing Heat by Laika_the_husband (2.3k words) - Even and Isak are lost on a road trip. There is an airsoft gun in the glove compartment. Isak really likes the way Even looks holding it. Car sex.

if you know you’re in love and he feel like the one by orphan_account (2.4k words) - A sequel. “Are we going to your place?” “Nah, my parents are home,” “So… the car? We’ll park somewhere?” Isak asks, smiling shyly.

Mouse Hunt by Laika_the_husband (2.4k words) - A fluffy smutty summery fun with Isakitty and his kitten daddy Even. Isak has arranged a surprise for Even, to explore felinity further. Forest sex.

Come For Me by cami_soul (2.6k words) - Isak and Even go camping, but I don’t really talk about the camping. lol Very light Dom/Sub action. Even pushing Isak’s boundaries, in a good way.

you the one that i’m feeling, you the one that i’m loving by orphan_account (3.1k words) - A sequel. “I’m horny,” Isak breathes out against his neck as he plants a wet kiss there. Even knows he must taste like sweat. “We need to go somewhere so you can fuck me.” They fuck outside.

I want everything with you by MeOnly (3.1k words) - Isak and Even goes out to the countryside to hike in the mountains and camp. Even will soon move to Stockholm to study at the University and how it will affect the two of them is still unclear. They need to talk … and maybe use that tent too.

The second time I followed you home by Tuii (3.5k words) - When they had left Oslo at the end of May to do a tour of the Scandinavia, there was no way he would have thought he would find this beautiful boy in Denmark. That he would fall in love and end up traveling with him instead of his own squad. Camping.

what I have is right here by arindwell (3.5k words) - Listen, it’s not like Even’s been pining away for Isak, stuck in the hot swelter of summertime Oslo. He’s been fine on his own, really. Outdoor sex plus bearded Isak.

in the backcountry by Jules1398 (3.7k words) - Isak hates camping, but his time at Nissen has come to a close and his friends wanted to do a big trip together, so he figures three days in Ytre Hvaler National Park can’t be that bad until he finds out they’re camping in the backcountry. Luckily he meets a dashing blond guy with space in his tent that’s near actual bathrooms.

Long Boi Season by Laika_the_husband (3.8k words) - humanoid. Long bois are in season and Isak is determined to catch himself one. He gets what he wished for, and more. Forest sex.

these are just a couple of my cravings by Treehouse (4.2k words) - A festival a couple of hours drive from Oslo, just the two of them. There’s always people around them, in kollektivet, at Even’s place and Even has longed for this - to have Isak to himself. Sex in a camper.

the thing you didn’t know you wanted by Treehouse (4.5k  words) - Isak feels his cheeks go red just from looking at the box. He reads the short description on the side. Male vibrating prostate massager. Wireless remote control, USB charger, seven stimulation patterns. Fuck. A little bit of balcony sex.

Take a deep breath, baby (let me in) by nofeartina (4.5k words) - Even only pauses for a brief second before he continues zipping the tent closed and says, “You or me?” Isak turns around all the way and he’s such a sight like this. On his knees, face tilted down, eyes half-lidded and seductive. Tent sex.

Burning One Hell of a Something by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5k words) - Even’s sharp inhale was audible, and suddenly it seemed as though all the air in the tent had been removed. The whole atmosphere felt electrically charged, and Isak could feel his entire body thrumming with anticipation like it was a livewire. Tent sex.

Sommernatt by Bewa (5.1k words) - Even grabs his hand and start walking, pulling Isak along. “You know how I don’t like not knowing what’s about to happen?” Isak says as they walk across the road and down to the river close by. “I know.” Even giggles. “That’s why it’s so much fun.” Swimming.

In the backseat by sherllycolmpels (5.3k words) - It takes Even a few moments to see what Isak is doing, but when he sees, he has a really hard time looking at the road in front of them.

Back to the Backseat by sherllycolmpels (2.7k words) - A sequel. The one where Isak and Even are doing it in the backseat of their car. Again. Plus bathroom sex in the beginning.

Summer by DickAnderton (5.8k words) - Isak and Even have been crushing on each other for a whole year when their paths finally cross at a hipster music festival during summer break and they spend the night together.

All of Me by MinilocIsland (5.9k words) - Luckily, Isak knows just how to catch Even when he falls. (Or, as in this case: when his attempt at taking Isak camping doesn’t go as planned).

(I know, I know) I make it hard to let go by colazitron (6.2k words) - Isak and Even go camping. Isak wants to look at the stars. Even wants to look at Isak. One thing leads to another.

(all its own work, no) vacation by colazitron (1.7k words) - A sequel. Isak and Even are feeling a little frisky after waking up on the morning of their overnigh camping trip.

live happily with sugar on by colazitron (9k words) - While Even tries to work up the courage to approach the cute boy on the tram, the cute boy approaches him. Berries are involved. And a garden.

Take Me As I Am by givemesumaurgravy (9.9k words) - the one in which Isak is the coach of Even’s daughter’s football team and Even likes Isak’s bum. One day there’s a parent football game and Isak, just maybe, starts hitting on Even and, just maybe, Even gives in. Roadhead.

RoadHead by Skamtrash: Chapter 1 - Its the beginning of summer and Even and Isak are on a roadtrip to Even’s cousins house to ring in the summer. Car sex   Chapter 2 - Even’s cousins are throwing a pool party later. Even cant stop touching Isak in the pool.    Chapter 5 - In the woods.  

Nowhere to go (now) by nofeartina (12k words) - This fic is part of the amazing series, Rearranged. It’ll be best to read the previous parts first. Things are good, it’s so fucking comfortable between them that Isak is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Balcony sex at a party.

Trollbundet/Spellbound by Crazyheart (16k words) - A summer fling soulmate AU. Isak has graduated from Nissen and he’s attending Trolsk (Enchanting), an alternative Fair/music festival with his friends. When he meets a guy called Even, they bond. However, Even is reluctant about bonding. Is a summer fling all they will have?

Can you feel the Love tonight? by skambition (17k words) - When Even let his gaze scan the masses, he caught a pair of green eyes staring at him shamelessly. Even raised an eyebrow, before looking the guy up and down. Tent sex. DELETED :( 

Skamløs by Skamtrash (18k words) - Even is Isak’s professor and they have a thing going on. Car sex. DELETED :(  

Beneath the Milky Way by sweetfire (31k words) - Isak is looking forward to a trip into the Norwegian wilderness with his friends before they all start their post-Nissen lives, hoping to get in some relaxation and bonding time with them. Cue Even, their hot wilderness guide, who instantly turns Isak into a flustered, blushing mess.

An Affair by skamsnake (33k words) - ‘An Affair’-inspired AU, featuring a sweet and innocent substitute teacher and a hot and confident third year student in all the scenes we already know and love. Sex in the woods. DELETED :(  

***** With People Around Them *****

Not so boring movie after all by Tuii (623 words) - Isak’s mind easily wonders to sex. And without actually doing it on purpose, he notices that his hand is wondering up on Evens thigh, towards his croch. At the movie theater.

prompts and one shots by noeller: Chapter 3 - Isak blows Even while their friends sit right in front of them   Chapter 4 - 3 times their friends accidently find out way too much about their sex life   Chapter 5 - Their friends see the scratches on Even   Chapter 6 - Magnus walks in on them having sex  

The Dance Floor by Tuii (1k words) - The club is full of people and noise and lights but Even has eyes only for his own man, those long legs and that amazing ass and his long neck and beautiful lips. On the dance floor.

Bus Drabble by Laika_the_husband (821 words) - A tiny little thing where Isak plays with Even on a bus ride. Just some silly filth.

Magnus is Confused About Gay by lovetommo (1.1k words) - Magnus kinda spies on Isak and Even a little bit.

The Things You Do by Skamtrash (1.2k words) - Even gets Isak off during a meeting in the auditorium

Kinky Boys by Skamtrash (2.7k words) - Even has a exhibitionism kink, he likes getting frisky in public. On a road trip with the boys, the couple tries to fulfill Evens needs

Masters of Impatience by Victory4 (3.5k words) - Isak is being a bit of a brat to everyone. Even knows how to chill him out. All while they’re having a movie night with their friends.

we’re lost in the heat of the moment (and i’m moving in you) by empty_venom (6.3k words) - Thanks to Eskild, Isak had no choice but to wear a tiny, skimpy, black cheerleaders outfit with Daddy emblazoned across the front of the crop top to a party where he meets Even and ends up on his lap in a room full of people.

The Beach by Laika_the_husband (7.4k words) - The one where they get banned from the beach

Chapter 4 of Hand In Hand by unfancyandy (10k words) - Even gets handsy in a movie theater.  

Oslo 05:59 by unfancyandy (15k words) - Isak meets a young man one night during a gay orgy at an underground sex club in Oslo. After building a special connection, they meet outside the club where they realize not everything was as perfect as it seemed.

***** Public Bathroom *****

cherry popsicle by cammm (1.1k words) - Even sucks his popsicle like it’s a dick and Isak says something about it. And then it escalates.

maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea by evenplussisak (1.1k words) - Isak and Even have sex in the bathroom where they first met

The one where they dance real close by colazitron (1.3k words) - They’re definitely not the only ones on the dancefloor taking things a little Far, but they go to find the bathroom anyway.

Monday 12:46 by anaisanais (1.6k words) - Even sexts Isak during class and they decide to ditch classes.

bathroom visits by cammm (1.7k words) - Isak steals Even away at lunch to go have some fun in the bathroom.

You Get Me Fired Up by HazyCosmicJive (2.8k words) - Isak has a public bathroom kink. Isak fucks Even in a university bathroom

i guess we should get a room by orphan_account (2.8k words) - Isak and Even are horrible hosts and friends. Technically it’s not a public bathroom but their friends are right there in their apartment.

so you play it wild by birthmarks (orphan_account) (3.1k words) - Before, during, and after Isak and Even made out at school on that fateful Wednesday.

I’ll Come With My Boyfriend by glbertblythes (3.1k words) - isak is kind of in love with even – isak kind of asks even to be his pretend boyfriend to a wedding.

Peep Show by riyku (3.5k words) - This might be the kinkiest thing Isak’s ever done, the only kinky thing he’s ever done, but he’s committed to it by now, and screw it, he’s gonna give this guy something worth watching. Plus exhibitionism.

The Booth by Laika_the_husband (5.3k words) - Featuring genderplay, glory hole, and Magnus.

Orion’s Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line. University bathroom.

When I See You, I Keep Getting Chills by plumclouds (8.8k words) - Isak is asked to be Even’s tutor by his teachers. It doesn’t go like anyone’s expecting it to.

Back to Back by unfancyandy (13k words) - 5 times Isak’s obsessed with Even’s back and 1 time it’s a little different. A little bit of bathroom sex.

we still fuck by evak1isak (13k words) - Isak and Even had broken up. Period. But they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

For Your Little Trooper by colazitron, nofeartina (15k words) - It’s bad enough that he has to sit here with his hand around his dick, milking his knot, in the school toilets no less - but apparently now he has company. Or the one where they meet while knotting in the school toilets. Public masturbation.

All this and heaven too by champagneleftie, nofeartina (28k words) - The first time, it’s just a hookup, a quick blowjob in a club bathroom. The next time Isak pretends he’s never seen him before. But maybe that’s because they’re at church. And the pastor is Isak’s dad.

A Silky Nightmare by Fxckxxp (40k words) - This is an AU set in the summer of 1970 based on the coordinates in the season 3 Skam header, which leads to Kjærlighetskarusellen (the love carousel): a public urinal doubling as a secret meeting spot for gay men before homosexual acts were decriminalized in Norway.

Alphabet Aerobics by nofeartina : Chapter 3: Z - Bathroom at a party sex.  Chapter 13: U - University bathroom sex. 

(WIP) take me to the stars by iriswests (230k words) - last update Aug 2017. Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. They have public sex somewhere in chapter 5.

***** Other Public Sex *****

Smutty Tumblr Prompts and Drabbles by isaksforelsket: Chapter 4 - Isak is really loud in bed  Chapter 7 - This one should be in the 'with people around’ category but it’s easier to put it here.   Chapter 11 - Vibrator in public  

Work by Tuii (1k words) - “Put your headphones on, sit and watch.” says the message from Isak and it’s followed with a link to a Youtube video.

But if you are, I am quite alright, hiding today by notcooljimmysteve (1.1k words) - They go to the beach.

you can still see my ankles by cammm (1.3k words) - Isak and Even go clothing shopping. Even hates it. His height makes shopping difficult but Isak is a good boyfriend. He tried his best to cheer Even up. Implied public sex. No smut.

Vibrator by evak1isak (2.1k words) - Even buys Isak a vibrator which he can control so that his boyfriend can have it on all day. Isak, though, didn’t expect his friends to find out. (They don’t actually have sex in public)

let’s go somewhere they might discover us (sometimes it’s better when it’s publicly) by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even and Isak fuck in a classroom.

Psycho by sensualstalker (2.4k words) - Even goes looking for Isak after school only to find him doing a different kind of after school activity. Locker room, shower sex.

poolside convo by ohsusie (2.4k words) - "Isak,” he says, swimming closer until they’re right in front of each other, looking into each other’s eyes, and Isak’s probably trying to tell him to stop, they can’t lose this stupid bet, but Even can’t handle it anymore and wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer. “Fuck, baby. You drive me crazy.” Pool sex.

Take me Higher by HazyCosmicJive (3k words) - “Hey lets sneak off and fuck in the locker room”. “Wtf Even, no”

just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains (3k words) - Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.

Fitnessboys. by Krumme (5.8k words) - Isak promised Eskild to go to the gym. Even is, of course, there. First meeting. Pining, eventual smut.

watch me fall at your feet (all to make you feel complete) by empty_venom (6.1k words) - They’ve been out Christmas shopping for almost two hours now, and Isak’s been bored since about thirty minutes in. And when Isak gets bored, Isak gets annoying. Changing room fun.

Overtime by Laika_the_husband (6.5k words) - Isak smiles as he steps inside and opens his messenger bag. He pulls out a black toiletry bag and when he sees how Even’s eyes are glued onto it he feels like purring. Yes. He has brought the mobile sex kit with him. He is prepared to use it. Office sex plus sex tape.

Winter Cabin by alijan (7.5k words) - The boys overhear Isak and Even at the cabin.

More than enough by nofeartina (7.7k words) - Sounds travel in Kollektivet. Which is a problem when you can’t keep your hands off each other and Linn and Eskild are eating breakfast in the kitchen next door. But then you’ll just have to (try to) be quiet…

Where the Lovelight Gleams by Sabeley (7.9k words) - the one where Even and Isak are stuck at different Christmas parties, but they’re determined to have sex anyway. Phone sex in a public place.

I’m Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Lifeguard Even. Shower sex.

(WIP) Loud and clear by Bulle (9.7k words) - Isak is loud when it comes to what goes down in bed. It’s not just quiet moans and small whines. It’s loud moans, whines and he’s awfully verbal too.

The Lifeguard by evak1isak (11k words) - In which Isak and his friends spend some weeks at Eva’s cabin during the summer, and Isak happens to develop a crush on the local pool’s lifeguard.

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he’s agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There’s nothing exciting for him there. Right?

I call'em as I see'em…But Sometimes I Don’t See So Well by HazyCosmicJive (15k words) - Isak just wants to study, he doesn’t want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience. Featuring gym locker room sex.

Blanket Fort Gospel by Sabeley (58k words) - Isak Valtersen met the love of his life when he was eleven years old. It was a truth he had long tried to deny, but it was the truth nevertheless. Church sex.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 233: At Least He Has Some Spares

Previously on BnHA: Twice made a duplicate League of Villains to take on Re-Destro. Re-Destro took this in stride and very calmly inflated his left fucking arm and slapped the whole lot of them so hard that most of them literally died. But the clone Shigaraki survived somehow and scuffled with RD for a bit while RD told him the story of how his great-great-granddad was born with a quirk and his mom was like “please be kind to my baby” and society was like “nah” and then they killed her too just for good measure. Anyway so this was of course the original Destro’s Origin Story, and his mother later on became a kind of martyr figure once society began rethinking their whole outlook on the whole superpower thing, and they even borrowed the term “quirk” from her as a way of trying to honor her I guess. But Destro and his descendants weren’t happy with the fact that quirks are still regulated and ~suppressed~ and blah blah blah, so I guess in RD’s mind this gives him justification to be a massive dick and wantonly murder people left and right. It’s all very political and complicated. Anyway, so in the end the Actual Tomura came over to RD’s tower and used his quirk and the tower came crumbling down, and now Tomura and Re-Destro are gonna fight.

Today on BnHA: We jump around Deika City getting updates on the rest of the League. Twice is currently trying to save Toga while Skeptic sneaks up on them both. Spinner is duking it out with Hanabata and his squad of Dudes With Spikes All Over Them And Stuff. We learn that Spinner’s quirk really is just “Lizard Quirk. That’s It. That’s The Quirk”, which, fine, whatever then. Dabi and Blue Bunny and Compress are off somewhere, presumably. Slidin’ Go is directing traffic and about to be flattened by Gigantomachia (or so we can hope). Giran is running off with one of the clone Twices (“running off” as in to safety, as opposed to them getting married or something. although). And Tomura is having his hand ripped off by a Hulkified Re-Destro and his newly revealed Stress quirk! Just, plucked right the fuck off, like a flower petal. It’s pretty horrific! And meanwhile Horikoshi is dipping out to go take an honestly well-deserved vacation, so there won’t be a new chapter next week. So basically just good news all around. Anyhow, so Tomura seems to have his hands full here and it may be time for him to hand in the towel and hand things off to Machia before things get out of hand even more well anyways enjoy the chapter guys.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

so once again I got an Intriguing Anonymous Ask, but I only skimmed it because it seemed to delve into some of the details of the chapter, albeit in a very vague way that probably didn’t actually reveal anything. but one thing I did pick up on was that there may possibly be a break after this week’s chapter? if so I will cry but then I’ll get over it I GUESS

(ETA: well enjoy your hiatus then Horikoshi you knave.)

anyway so let’s get into it

quick observation before I actually start reading the chapter itself -- so apparently the title is “Bright Future”? correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought we already had a chapter with that same title though. chapter 161, also known as the Nighteye Fucking Dies chapter. is the kanji slightly different or something, perhaps? if not that is odd

(ETA: so after reading the chapter, serious question: is this Horikoshi’s idea of a joke, or. ...

but yeah, the kanji is different. or rather, this chapter’s title isn’t written in kanji at all, but in katakana, whereas 161 was written in kanji like normal. as for the why of it, though, your guess is as good as mine. right now “mangaka has a fucked-up sense of humor” is basically at the top of my reasons list.)

anyways, clicking to the actual chapter now, and... oh wow

okay I think I mentioned the movie The Island a few recaps back, and my sincere apologies to everyone for making repeated references to a typically dumb and explosion-y Michael Bay movie where Ewan McGregor tries and fails to speak in an American accent and everything explodes for no reason and the protagonists cause so much collateral damage while being hunted down by the bad guys that you almost start to wonder if it wouldn’t actually be better for everyone if they did just die. but anyway, so I’m sorry to keep coming back to this movie, but -- and spoiler alert for a 14-year-old Michael Bay film you guys -- the plot is basically that scientists figured out how to clone people, and so Rich People immediately proceeded to make clones of themselves to keep for spare parts so that if they ever needed organ donors or the like, they’d have a perfect match available

and anyway, so you can see the connection here, right? basically this is a super-pragmatic application of Twice’s quirk, and I have to applaud the logic and ingenuity, but also bro that’s kind of a fucked-up thing to do though, sob. let’s just make a spare Toga so we can immediately harvest her blood, oh boy. though in fairness it is Toga, so maybe she won’t mind since Harvesting Blood is like her thing

also can we take a moment to appreciate how thoroughly wrecked this Skeptic!Puppet!Twice is, though. the one that’s just lying there dead. like, his leg’s all bent the wrong way and he no longer has a face and I fucking can’t stop staring at it though. I feel better knowing that it wasn’t actually a real person because that’s seriously all kinds of fucked up

anyway now the Twice clones are arguing over who gets to measure Toga. and Horikoshi has honestly built up a lot of goodwill with me over the course of this Mineta-less arc filled with hot Girans and LoV character development, but all the same he’d better watch himself though, because all of that could be gone just like that in an instant if he tries to get cute! so don’t push it dude

(ETA: and not to harp on this or anything, but Twice did clone Toga back during the My Basement Academia arc (in chapter 147), so there wasn’t really a need for this scene to begin with. but whatever, he didn’t really go overboard at least.)

okay good, actual!Twice (? is he the real one?? he’s the only one without a mask and he’s not using his arms so I think it’s him, at any rate) is shouting at the others to get their shit together

Twice Status: Still Hot. wow, and barely two seconds after I made that remark about Horikoshi needing to focus up. should I take my own advice perhaps. eh

oh my god

nooooo now I’m actually really upset that one of them’s gonna get sacrificed for the other! noooo Toga

and now we’re getting additional background information on Twice’s quirk, specifically about the fact that his clones’ appearances and personalities/memories are based on the last time the clone target was measured and the last time Twice saw said target, respectively. makes sense. so anyway because of that the clone Toga is also all beat up

friendly reminder that Toga is only seventeen and still just a kid, albeit a freaky sort of horror movie-type kid. but anyway, so I’m feeling really fucking protective of her though, and I need them to hurry up and save her already!

oh my god

yes, Dabi is the poster boy for great plastic surgery results. staples left in and everything. then again I don’t know how bad off he looked before, though. we still don’t actually know what the original injury was, aside from it obviously having something to do with the whole “his quirk fucking burns him from the inside out” thing we recently learned. you know what might help with that, Horikoshi? a flashback, omg

yuh oh

gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this is Skeptic coming to fix his screw-up before Re-Destro snaps his neck like so many Mitsubishis. or whatever that damn mouse’s name was. Miyashita?? actually I think that was it lol

anyways so let’s now turn the page and confirm if it actually is Skeptic

...confirmed

also, holy shit. just, holy shit to everything. that freaky close-up of the puppets’ faces; that blobby image of one of the puppets being formed; Skeptic’s crazy eyes in the bottom panel; him screaming I HAVEN’T FAILED!!! over and over again, etcetera. just, everything. good lord

and now we’re cutting somewhere else. looks like it’s Spinner and a bunch of the clone Twices dealing with Hanabata’s over-inspired lackeys

Spinner what is your quirk

okay so as he’s fighting he’s doing that shounen thing where he uses his keen observational skills to come up with a strategy on the fly

yes, please feel free to take him out! he’s annoying and he hasn’t done anything interesting, so really he’s just dead weight as far as this arc goes. feel free to use your quirk, too, buddy. if you even have one, holy shit. Horikoshi’s probably keeping it safe in the same place as Kacchan’s hero name

anyway so now he’s fighting his way through the waves of redshirts and trying to reach Hanabata’s van

he’s thinking that his job is to “lighten Shigaraki’s burden, if only a little”

awww. League of Loyal Bastards. I can’t believe there was ever a question of you possibly betraying these guys, Spinner. I’m sorry for doubting you, guy

Hanabata seems worryingly unconcerned, though

who the hell wears their watch on their right hand? what time is it, Hanabata? it’s time for you to fucking die already that’s what

-- oh

so it’s some kind of Magic Quirk Watch then, eh. should have figured as much

also, “A MAN WITH A WEAK SUPERPOWER SUCH AS YOURSELF” oh? please do tell us more about this quirk! also how is it that you of all people know Spinner’s quirk. Giran’s intel, I guess? I’m suddenly really annoyed that the Liberation Army apparently knows more about the LoV than we do. bastards

anyway so now Hanabata’s own quirk is being revealed, so I guess let’s see what that’s all about

okay so this is exactly what we all thought it was based on what we’ve seen of him so far. so I guess this weird mask is basically just a big microphone thing. imagine if his and Mic’s quirks were combined

at any rate if it’s not clear, I really couldn’t give two farts about Hanabata or his quirk and I just want to see Spinner take him out, and then have Gigantomachia show up and save Toga and Twice, and see Tomura kick RD’s ass. oh and Dabi still needs to beat up Rita’s Italian Ice too, I guess

(ETA: okay but Horikoshi would it really be too much to ask for at least one of these things to actually happen oh my god. my poor villain children.)

-- OH MY GOD

EVERYONE SHUT UP SPINNER’S QUIRK IS FINALLY BEING REVEALED AHHHH

lmao was I too invested in this perhaps. all this time and all this mystery and it really does end up being some little lizard quirk that lets him cling to walls? and this is how it’s revealed of all ways? he doesn’t even get an official Quirk Reveal Box?

I mean, this can’t possibly be it. he’s gonna do something badass and unexpected, and then we’ll get his Quirk Box and we’ll all be like, “OH SHIT! SPINNER!” and so forth. right??

(ETA: I seriously can’t decide if this will actually be the case, or if this is another Sports Festival scenario where I’m firmly expecting the typical shounen thing and Horikoshi has something else planned entirely.)

wow

as opposed to you? your power is literally just “I can get stupid people all hyped up.” it’s probably given you an overinflated sense of your own importance, and I can’t wait for you to get one-upped by this lil lizard boy with his ninja turtles costume and the tactical knife he bought on Amazon

oh shit lol

so I guess that’s as good a way as any of syncing up all of this action to one timeline again

heh Hanabata’s panicking a bit

I’m enjoying this, ngl

oh shit!

this motherfucker really popped through a magic quirk hole in the wall and grabbed onto Spinner and suddenly got all spiny just like that oh shit

AHHH

SOMEONE HELP OUR BOY, HE’S BEING PORCUPINED BY FUCKING REDSHIRTS. WHAT IS THIS

now Hanabata’s directing all of the remaining cannon fodder to go and help Re-Destro. well at least that’ll get some of them off of Spinner’s back

YESSSSSSS

GET HIM SPINNER GO FOR THE JUGULAR!!

AHHH SPINNER FLASHBACKS YESSSSS, THE MY FLASHBACKS ACADEMIA ARC CONTINUES

I’ve suddenly been struck by the urgent need to go do my dishes from last night omg. Spinner would it kill you to take the fucking trash out at least

oh shit you guys he’s making a speech!

IT’S HAPPENNIIIIIIING. go, Spinner! speech! and then kick some ass! and then Quirk Reveal Box and “OH SHIT! SPINNER!” just like we planned!!

sob why am I empathizing with this guy who’s getting inspired by Stain and then by Tomura’s “let’s destroy everything! :)” rant of all things. what has this arc done to me. Spinner I can’t relate to you at all omg. but, just like every other member of the League of Villains, at your core you’re really just someone who was searching for a place to belong, and damned if that’s not the most quintessentially human struggle of all

so to sum, you sure picked some questionable role models there but I support you, kid

sure Horikoshi, go ahead and just fling Spinner’s super-weak and boring quirk in my fucking face then! lol okay I get it! it was never meant to be some big reveal to wow us all at a dramatic moment; the whole point is that he’s utterly unremarkable, and it doesn’t matter because despite what the MLA believes, quirks don’t define who a person is. all right, all right. that’s cool then

no you dingus he’s trying to say that even if he doesn’t have a big flashy quirk, y’all ain’t shit either and he’s still going to kick your ass

-- OH SHIT YOU GUYS!!

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO ADVISE YOU ALL THAT OUR HANDSOME BOY GIRAN SURVIVED THE TOWER FALL AND IS FINE AND DANDY! and still handsome! so we all can rest easy now on that account, thank god

omg omg omg

Tomura VS Re-Destro hype intensifies!!

also lmao because I genuinely think he’s asking him for real because he can’t quite sort out reality from his sleep-deprived hallucinations right now

or maybe that shouldn’t be “lmao” on my part, because that’s actually a legitimately concerning thing, there. but I can’t help it guys, he’s so tired and fully and entirely out of fucks, and RD is so fucking screwed and doesn’t even know it and it’s going to be so goddamn satisfying I can’t fucking wait

anyways, no, Tomura. he was not. but he’s apparently got some sort of Hulk quirk. so you just do your best and you sic your own Hulk on him then if need be

yessss he’s talking trash, yes, Tomura!! you’re doing great!!

IT PROBABLY FEELS BAD! I BET! HAHAHA. SUCK IT

LOOK AT THIS YOU GUYS OMG

ranged attacks and everything, now! I wonder if he’s always had this sort of capability and we’ve just never seen it before, or if this is another new development. probably the latter. those six weeks of training really leveled him up

wow even his fucking shoes are disintegrating now

so GiranTwice are getting the fuck out of Dodge, and Giran’s right arm just sort of ends in this big mess of bandages omg

don’t worry Giran, Twice is gonna get Dabi’s plastic surgeon on the job. you will be fine

holy shit you guys would you look at this fucking shounen bullshit

I’m starting to get an inkling that this will be the kind of fight that’s going to look amazing in anime form, but will basically just be a lot of flying rocks and smashing panels in manga form. and I’m prepared for that if that is indeed the case! I have not forgotten what genre this actually is, and that this is still a manga where the main character’s attacks all end in “SMASH!!!”, and every so often we get to a point where the characters who are at the center of the current conflict just have to punch it out. so I’m not going to complain

but I do hope that won’t be all there is to this, though. and ngl, I have higher expectations for BnHA’s fights than for any other manga’s fights, and I’m still expecting a few twists here

(ETA: oh lord I should just learn to keep my fucking mouth shut.)

oh shit

poor Spinner. fucking Re-Destro gets a Quirk Reveal Box before he does

also it does seem to be a Hulk quirk then, huh. so it’s safe to say that once Gigantomachia shows up and they hash things out, there won’t really be a town here afterwards. like, this entire city is about to be straight up wiped off the map. that’s lowkey terrifying to think about

-- HEY WHAT THE

(ETA: sob he looks so shocked. that’s right Tomura, it’s the hard knocks path to redemption for you too, buddy boy. probably when you go talk to Ujiko to get it patched up after the arc is over it’ll trigger some more character development somehow. just, my point is that you are an important character in a shounen manga, and so, unlike people in real life, you at least can be somewhat assured that your pain is probably happening for a reason.)

fuckING -- IS THAT REALLY -- DID THEY JUST

DID THIS MOTHERFUCKING INKBLOT HULK MAN REALLY JUST PINCH MY BOY’S HANDS BETWEEN HIS GIANT THUMB AND INDEX FINGER AND JUST FUCKING PLUCK HIS FUCKING FINGERS OFF HOLY GODDAMN FUCK

DID HE DO THAT TO GIRAN. IS THAT WHAT HE FUCKING DID TO GIRAN I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING -- I CAN’T --

IS THIS FUCKING ATTACK ON TITAN, GODDAMN!? WHAT THE WHY

THERE REALLY IS A HIATUS SOB I CAN’T. I HOPE HE HAS A GOOD TIME ON HIS VACATION OR WHATEVER, THEN!! BE THAT WAY! I KNOW YOU’RE A HUMAN BEING AND ENTITLED TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF AND GET SOME GODDAMN SLEEP AND GO TO CONVENTIONS OR WHATEVER, BUT I’M ALSO ONLY HUMAN, AND WHEN YOU TAKE MY WEEKLY FIX AWAY WITH NO PRIOR NOTICE, I’M GOING TO GET CRANKY ABOUT IT. I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY

GOD DAMN IT

fuck

sob. okay sorry guys, I’m done being dramatic now. so let’s go back and finish up those last four panels that I haven’t actually read yet orz

lol there already practically isn’t a town there anymore. Giganto you better hurry up and come finish it off. this asshole is out here playing the most vicious game of eenie meenie miney moe the world has ever seen with your boss’s hands and it’s very upsetting

who the fuck is this

lmao what. someone’s actually trying to visit the city? turn your van around, pal. we are closed for business for real here

and then our last two panels are Slidin’ Go being all punchable, and then getting shaken up by a sudden earthquake omg

I WONDER WHAT THAT COULD BE omg. :) :’D

well shit. so! 

a wild Gigantomachia approaches

Slidin’ Go is living on borrowed time presumably (good riddance)

Skeptic is trying to harass Twice again while he’s busy trying to save poor Toga’s life, like excuse you dude, no, please fuck off

Dabi is currently MIA and still fighting Dippin’ Dots while trying to keep his organs from getting any more roasted. maybe a flashback would help you there, Dabi. I don’t know how, but it couldn’t hurt, surely. I promise I have no ulterior motives in suggesting this

Spinner is trying to work out how to score a really satisfying victory to show us all that Quirks Aren’t Everything

Giran and his bandaged arm are running off to safety with Twice, which is the only thing that really matters in the end here

and Shigaraki Tomura has just had his own hand Luke Skywalkered in the manga’s latest and greatest instance of Cruelty Against Limbs. but at least this presumably means that he himself is about to get a hell of a lot hotter if Giran and Twice are anything to go by

so yeah. a lotta stuff going on. so really it’s the perfect time for a hiatus. lol

well, friends. I’ll see you all in two weeks I guess. hopefully someone will lend Tomura a hand. ba dum crash

[orbitingtheson]

8 April 2245

My survival guild and I did pretty well in a tournament, and we decided to take a once in a lifetime trip to Earth. And now, I have to ask, why?

Why does everything on that godforsaken planet want to kill me?

I've been playing with wolves and bears and elk my whole life. I've wrestled grizzlies for fun before.

My friends and I had a good laugh during our safety briefings. And it took four weeks and half our savings to get out of the hospital and jail after one of us tossed a cub a bit of spare sandwich.

Even with all of our mods and training it took four of us to pull one sow off my friend, and we barely got her to the hospital before brain damage set in.

One of my friends literally caught the Plague! All he did was pick up a mouse!

Why would anyone want to go to that place? Why do you keep telling people to go?

- my fuzzy ass

This is why we don't laugh during safety briefings.

There are only seventeen places I'm aware of away from Earth where you might have had an opportunity to wrestle grizzly bears. And, as I'm sure you know by now, in all but one of those places those bears have been modded every bit as thoroughly as you and your buddies have. In the last? It's a hunting preserve, and the heirloom bears are too smart to get within a mile of a human if they can avoid it.

Earth is a beautiful and wonderful, and often dangerous place. There are spots on it that are every bit as curated and comfortable and safe as the cities and homes those of us away from Earth are used to. But 40% of the Earth's land is true wilderness, and more than half of the remainder is home to revivalist communities who limit their ecosystem interventions to techniques that predate industrial society.

When a Terran tells you not to feed the bears, you listen.

[the--highlanders]

Settled

Jamie comes to understand himself - and his daemon - a little better.

on ao3.

Leaning back on his elbows, Jamie tilted his face up to meet the sky, enjoying the murmuring of the sluggish river before him. The distant sound of a horse and cart clattering along a nearby track cut through the quiet, but he was far enough from the village that its noise and bustle was almost entirely drowned out by birdsong and rustling branches. Beside him, Teárlag nosed over the frosted ground in the shape of a doe, seeking out the scattered few fragments of greenery.

“Shouldn’t ye leave some for the real deer?” Jamie pointed out.

Teárlag rolled her shoulders, turning her shrug into a shift in forms. “Then the laird’ll have nothing to hunt,” she said carelessly, skittering towards him as a mouse. “But plenty to eat. Would ye rather I ate the hay for our cows?”

“Ye shouldnae speak ill of the laird like that,” Jamie protested. “We’re better off than some.” Teárlag simply huffed, stepping away from him and turning back into a deer. “Ye like him, anyway. It’s no good pretendin’ not to.”

She did not reply, so Jamie lay in silence for a while, staring up at the naked trees cutting through the sky above him. Water was slowly seeping into his plaid and through his shirt as the frost he was lying on melted, but he could not bring himself to mind, already feeling comfortably half-absorbed into the forest floor. The unbroken peace of it seemed to stretch from his haven by the Conann to the other edge of an t-Eilean Dubh, far beyond even the usual reaches of his world.

“Do ye think there’s going tae be a war?” he said at last.

Teárlag snorted, regarding him with fond frustration. “Cheerful today, aren’t ye?”

“Hey, it’s the new year. I’m allowed tae think about what’s to come.” When Jamie stretched his arms out, Teárlag shifted to the form of a wildcat and allowed him to settle her on his chest. “It’s been too long since the last rising.”

“Not long enough for people tae forget what happened after the last ones.” Teárlag yawned. “Can’t imagine the war comin’ here. It’s hardly London. I dinnae think he’d be interested.” Her voice was filled equally with disdain and reverence.

“Says the one named after the prince,” Jamie teased. “But ye heard them all last night. They’re always a wee bit excitable on his birthday -” Teárlag gave him a pointed look. “Aye, alright, an’ a wee bit tipsy, but ye cannae deny that it was different this time.”

“He’s gettin’ older. Bound tae happen. Doesnae mean we ought tae go an’ die for him.”

“If he comes tae fight, it’s our duty tae rise,” Jamie insisted. “No’ for him, but for the laird, an’ to help put things right here. Anyway, it’ll be an adventure.”

“Och, Jamie,” Teárlag said wearily. “You’re always gettin’ us into trouble. Why do ye think he’ll make things better for us? He cannae stop the lairds from bein’ greedy, or the foreigners from wantin’ us gone.”

“Aye, but he can stop the crops from failin’. That’d be nice.” Jamie spent a moment scratching the underside of her chin before pushing her off his chest to stand up. “We ought tae be goin’ home, they’ll be missin’ us.” He held out his arm expectantly, waiting for her to shift into one of her usual songbird forms. “Come on, athair wanted us tae teach some of the younger ones, remember?”

“I can’t.”

“Well, if ye want tae get a tellin’ off -”

“Jamie.” The seriousness in Teárlag’s voice quietened him. “I can’t change.”

“What?” Kneeling down beside her, Jamie looked her over anxiously, examining her face and legs as if he expected to find some physical wound. “Is something wrong? Why can ye not change?”

The amused purr that burst from Teárlag startled him. “Because I’m settled, ye daftie,” she said, batting at his forehead with one paw.

Oh.

He had already known, Jamie realised. He had known from the moment she had picked that form and curled up on his chest. Somehow, he had always known, but he still found the revelation difficult to grasp. “But -” He examined her again, more critically this time. “But you’re no’ a cat.”

Teárlag looked affronted. “I am.”

“You’re a bird!” Picking her up, Jamie peered into her eyes, struggling to find some resemblance to the daemon he thought he had known. She would never again swoop onto his arm and tighten her claws around his wrist, he realised with a plunge of regret. The last strains of birdsong had vanished from her. “You’re meant tae sing. We’re musicians.”

He looked back at Teárlag, and was taken aback by the sadness in her expression. “Is this form not good enough for ye?” she asked softly. “’Cause ye know I cannae change it. We’re stuck like this.”

“Hey.” Scooping her into his arms, Jamie pressed her against his chest. She clambered eagerly onto his shoulders, draping herself over him as if she belonged there. And she did, he thought. The odd sensation of inevitability had returned, and once again he felt as if he should have expected this. “It’s a good form tae have. I like it.”

“Are ye sure ye want tae go home?” Teárlag’s voice was still a little nervous, and her tail was flicking back and forth with something he supposed was anxiety. With another pang, he realised he would have to grow accustomed to her quirks and expressions all over again. “We’ll have to tell them we’ve settled, ye know.”

“Mm.” Jamie relaxed again. His father’s students could wait, he thought to himself. This was his settling-day. “It’s good tae have a form with claws, ye know,” he said quietly. “Maybe it means the war is comin’ after all.”

“Aye.” Slipping off his shoulder, Teárlag shoved her way into his lap, and he put a tentative hand on her fur. “Seventeen-forty. Anything can happen.”

[fantasyandromancelover]

The Tale of Tales Chapter 18

Gray didn't have any trouble tracking Juvia. From what he had been told she lived up North of the forest just a few miles from the Magnolia village. Arriving there he found foot prints that were that of a young maiden and followed them, soon her tracks mixed with several other kinds of foot prints. Two which belonged to grown men and one that belonged to a young boy. When he reached the end of the trail he found the cottage. He knocked on the door but no one answered leaving him to believe that no one was home.

He was about to find a place where he could hide and wait for them to come home when he heard something in the distance. It was faint but he could make it out. It was a voice, a girl's voice humming. Being as quiet as a mouse he followed the humming and it led him to the edge of a steep hill. At the end of the hill was a river and Juvia was washing clothes in it.

"Let's see she looks about seventeen, blue hair, fair skin. Yep this is her."

She couldn't see him down there because he was hidden by the trees and her back was turned so she wouldn't be able to see his arrow coming. He pulled out his bow and arrow, drew back his arrow on the bow's string, and made his aim. It would be a perfect shot right through her heart and he wouldn't miss. He never missed. He was just about to fire when Juvia turned around and when he saw her face he was startled by her beauty. He knew that he was supposed to kill a woman he just didn't expect her to be so beautiful. He had never seen a woman more beautiful in his entire life and her voice was almost just as lovely.

"The water is wide, I can't cross o'er

And neither have I wings to fly

Give me a boat that can carry two

And we shall sail, my love and I

Oh love is gentle and love is kind

And love's a flower when first it's new

But love grows old and waxes cold

And fades away like morning dew

There is a ship, and she sails the sea

She's loaded deep as deep can be

But not as deep as the love I'm in

I know not how I sink or swim

The water is wide, I can't cross o'er

And neither have I wings to fly

Give me a boat that can carry two

And we shall sail, my love and I."

She had the voice of an angel which was sweeter than any that had ever been sung and he was so shocked by her lovely face and angelic voice that he accidentally shot the arrow while pointing down wind and it caused him to lose his balance and go tumbling down the hill. He landed on his ankle sprianing it in the process while also getting some scratches and bruises during his tumble. When he finally stopped rolling and sliding he tried to stand up only to feel intense pain in his ankle.

"Ah! Oh great I can't walk! Now I'm stuck down here!"

"Oh my goodness! Are you alright?" He turned in the direction of the gasping voice to find Juvia staring at with great concern.

"What are you looking at?" He asked in irritation.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you but I saw you fall down the hill and I was worried that you had hurt yourself so I decided to see if you were okay. Are you hurt?"

"No these bruises and scratches feel great." He said sarcastically.

"You don't have to be rude I'm only trying to help."

"Well I don't need your help now go away."

"You sure you don't need any help?"

"I just said I didn't." He tried to stand up. "Now scram! I can- Ah!"

He fell back down after feeling the pain in his ankle again.

"Oh dear you can't walk can you? Don't worry the house where I live is not far from here."

She took his arm and put it over her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" He asked her.

"I'm taking you back home with me so I can bandage your ankle and clean your wounds."

"Get away from me! I don't need your help! I can take care of myself!"

"Nonsense you can't even stand up, what are you going to stay down here until your ankle's healed? Now come on."

Gray tried to protest but Juvia was a stubborn and persistent woman who managed to convince him to give in and let her help him. She took him back to the cottage where she bandaged his ankle and cleaned his scratches and bruises.

"Ow! That stings!" Gray hissed when she touched his biggest scratch with a wet rag.

"Sorry but I have to clean it otherwise it will get infected." Juvia said. "And if you would hold still it wouldn't sting that bad. Now keep still."

"Ow...Ow...Ow!"

"Oh for heaven's sake you're behaving like a child! I thought you huntsmen would be used to this kind of treatment."

"If you're saying that I should be immune to pain then you are wrong on so many counts."

For the rest of the time Juvia spent tending to his injuries the two didn't speak to each other then suddenly Juvia started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Gray asked.

"Nothing it's just that this reminds me of when I was little and I fell out of an apple tree I was climbing and skinned my knee pretty bad. When my nurse cleaned my wound I was behaving just as silly as you were."

"Whatever."

"So may I ask what your name is?"

"It's Gray."

"Oh what a lovely name. My name is-"

"Juvia we're home!" They heard Romeo call as he, Elfman, and Gajeel walked inside.

"Who's this?" Gajeel asked.

"I'm Gray, I'm just a hunter who fell down a hill while trying to shoot a deer."

"He sprained his ankle so I brought him back here to bandage him up." Juvia said.

"Do you live around here?" Romeo asked.

"I'm just passing through." Gray said.

"So you don't have anywhere to go?"

"Pretty much."

"Can he stay here?" Juvia asked. "At least until his ankle is better."

"I don't mind." Romeo said.

"Fine by me." Elfman said.

"Now wait just a minute." Gajeel said. "We don't know this guy. We can't just let him stay here, he could be a thief or a murderer and besides where is he gonna sleep?"

"He can have my bed and I'll sleep on the floor." Juvia said.

"A real man wouldn't make a lady give up her bed." Elfman objected.

"He's right. Gray can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the floor." Romeo said.

"No how about you and I share a bed Romeo? That way no one has to sleep on the floor." Juvia said.

"Juvia we can't just let this man stay with us." Gajeel said. "He could be dangerous."

"You're too suspicious Gajeel you know that? And besides he can't even walk so how much harm can he do?"

Gajeel looked at Gray. He did look pretty hurt and he did seem like a decent guy but Gajeel had develop a biological alarm if you will and it started going off the minute he first saw Gray. He was very suspicious of the young man and sensed that he was dangerous but he knew that if he sent him away in this condition Juvia would see him as a heartless monster forever.

"Fine he can stay but only til he recovers."

"Wonderful." Juvia said.

"Hey Juvia, Elfman and I were going to catch fish for dinner wanna come?" Romeo asked.

"I'd love to but I have to take care of Gray."

"I'll keep an eye on him." Gajeel said.

"Oh thank you Gajeel."

She hugged him then kissed his cheek and left with Elfman and Romeo. Once they were gone Gajeel decided to have a little chat with Gray.

"Alright listen up pretty boy I believe you when you said that you were just a hunter who got hurt but I don't believe for one minute that it was deer you were hunting. Now if what you say turns out to be true then you have nothing to fear but if my suspicions are correct and you dare try to hurt that girl I'll break you into a million tiny pieces." He said cracking his knuckles.

Gray gulped.

"Are...Are you her father?"

"Let's just say I'm a guardian and you cannot imagine how much she means to us and all three of us are ready to kill to keep her safe. Just remember that while you're staying here."

Gray found himself in quite a predicament. He knew that this job was probably going to be the hardest one he had ever taken.

Since I gave Lucy the gift of dance I gave Juvia the gift of song. The song she sung was The Water is Wide by Orla Fallon. Since Fairy Tail uses a lot of cetlic music I decided to use cetlic songs.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Secret Identity Masterlist

Links Last Checked: May 13th, 2022

Behind a Mask (ao3) - EmrysBeard

Summary: Dan, frankly, hates Phil. Phil's friends have been bullying him since primary school, and though the dark haired boy doesn't directly participate, Dan knows that Phil's leering glare means bad news. And then, when Halloween comes around, Dan puts on a mask and attends a Halloween party. While there, he meets another masked boy and for the first time in Dan's life, he has a shot at romance.

Conversely, Phil feels bad that his friends bully Dan, and so when he gets invited to a Halloween party, Phil can't wait to put on a mask and be someone else for a night. He'd never want to come out as gay, but while behind a mask, he feels brave, so he agrees to dance with a boy. He doesn't know who this dream boy is, but Phil is falling head over heals.

Dan may not know who his new masked lover is, but he's determined to find out.

But It’s Better if You Do - gorgeousdan

Summary: (tw) When Louise invites Dan and Phil to a Halloween masquerade ball, Phil suggests they go alone. Dan doesn’t expect much to happen, until Phil kisses him. Now, Phil’s on a hunt to find the boy he kissed. The twist? He doesn’t know it was Dan.

Cat and Mouse - jilliancares

Summary: Dan Howell is the Panther. He’s evil, nefarious, ingenious, and good at coming up with adjectives for himself. The Raven is a nuisance, but he’s definitely the most fun part when it comes to being a villain. As a child, Dan had been scared of his powers. He’d been weak. He’d become strong, though. Strong enough to torment the city; strong enough to annoy the Raven with every opportunity he got. Phil Lester only had one goal these days. To become strong enough to defeat the Panther.

“catfish” - akaarie

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Dan Howell never expected he’d meet the man of his dreams in an online chatroom. Six months later, he’d also never expected they’d end up coincidentally rooming together in a vacation house. This wouldn’t have been too bad if Dan had actually told Phil the truth about his identity, not that his name was “Blake”. Now, he’s stuck on a week long holiday with an Internet crush who has no idea who he really is.

Exposed - multifandomfanfics

Summary: Ridgewell High School is known for its fast spreading rumours. So when someone starts a blog dedicated to outing people’s secrets, everyone becomes paranoid that theirs will be next.

Famous (ao3) - HelloAnonymousWriter

Summary: Dan has the best of both worlds. He is the famous singer - Daniel James and he’s ordinary Dan Howell. He finally decides to tell his best friend and crush - Phil.

heart full of headlines (ao3) - dantiloquent

Summary: Phil Lester has a lot of good things: supportive friends, a lovely dog, a world tour, a famous writing blog.

He also has magic. It shouldn't be a problem - except, in a world where magic is hated and mocked, it is. After a disastrous run in with Guardian-acclaimed "Modern Beat Generation Boy" Dan Howell ends in an unexpected friendship, Phil finds himself having to make more and more choices. While his blog sends him all over the world, and while their friendship develops, Phil can't help but bring it all back to one pivotal issue: who can he tell?

Hero (ao3) - pastelpunkdan

Summary: where Dan is a hero an Phil is a villain and they are dating but they don't know that they are enemies.

If You Think You Know Me - ineverhadmyinternetphase

Summary: Fiction. Phil’s a police Sergeant. He’s been itching to get promoted to Inspector for ages, but to do so, he needs to crack his biggest case - famed internet hacker the Howler. Phil’s been after him for years, but he’d never managed to get even a hint towards his identity. When he meets a hot stranger in a bar one night, Phil thinks his luck might just be turning up. But maybe getting close to this particular stranger isn’t the best idea.

Jesus Christ, That’s a Pretty Face - botanistlester

Summary: Phil is a famous singer who never shows his face, and Dan is a fan that unknowingly meets his idol in a library.

Leave Me Your Wake - undressrehearsal

Summary: Louise invited Dan and Phil to a party and Dan decides to take a policy of secrecy.

Love and Lies (ao3) - Phandiction

Summary: Phil is a twenty-four year old prince who's stayed anonymous to his people since his birth and poses as the "princes adviser." Dan is twenty years old and poor, working in the palace kitchen making food for both the prince and the prince's adviser in order to feed his mother and two siblings. Unknowing of Phil's secret, they fall for one another. Phil knows he has to tell his secret eventually. Easier said than done when he's finally found someone he doesn't want to loose.

Masquerade - waverlysangels

Summary: (tw) Dan goes to a school for spies, he’s not supposed to be noticed, not supposed to be given a second glance, but Phil seems to see him, actually see him, and not just his cover.

Messages - interrupted-by-fireworks

Summary: Phil starts getting cute, little messages from a secret admirer.

Rebellion (wattpad) - VegaPancakes

Summary: After the Queen died, her son took over. He grew hungry with power. Under hushed words, people would call him The Tyrant. If you talked of such things and got caught, you’d be jailed for life, no matter what age. However, masked groups of people are rebelling against the new King’s system, starting riots, slowly breaking apart the government. The hostages never spoke, even at the brink of death. Now people are talking about teens, as young as fourteen, joining the ranks. Other rumors say that their leader is a teenager himself.

Phil Lester has known Dan for a while now. About three years, in fact. They are fantastic friends, maybe even best friends, and they would always tell each other everything. Right?

Dan Howell is a secret leader of the Rebels. He doesn’t want Phil to know. Because if Phil find out, he might want to join. And that will get his best friend killed. So once Daniel leaves the gates of Manchester’s Hall for ages 11-18, he puts on his mask and enters a new personality.

Song Stuck In My Head - xinyanhowell

Summary: Phil’s best friend is getting married. How can one song change so many lives forever?

So We Meet Again (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: One night Dan forgets that he was supposed to hang out with Phil, playing his favorite MMO instead. Dan beats himself up for being the worst best friend ever. Meanwhile, Phil wants to understand what keeps Dan coming back to the game, so he creates an account to investigate firsthand.

Your Voice - botanistlester

Summary: Dan is an opera singer that doesn’t show his face. Phil is a fan. One day, Phil is in a park and hears Dan singing softly sitting under a tree.

[theloversofmrsunshine]

Vampire Eugene

Eugene sits upon his throne of bone, gazing at the gathered ladies from a nearby village. For some reason, about forty years ago, the villagers around his dwelling had come up with the idea that offering him a virgin female every once in a while would appease his hunger and protect them from his fangs. Though Eugene still hunted several of their townsfolk if it pleased him, he wasn’t going to disabuse them of the notion. Female flesh and blood was particularly sweet and supple, especially from the younger women. Being fed pleased him, even if it didn’t entirely satisfy him.

The women tremble before him, as the village translator does his best to calm them down. He almost never spoke to the townsfolk, and those who heard his voice were never alive for long. However, ten years ago, he’d spoken English and found the confusion and terror of the people hilarious. It had become his greatest entertainment. In response, they had hired a young man who was fluent in Western Languages two years ago. To Eugene’s horror, the young man was witty and smart. Enough that even an old vampire like Eugene couldn’t help but grow fond of the silver-tongued boy. Gwansoo had grown comfortable to an almost insulting degree around Eugene, but he was under no false impression as to the true nature of his Master. He had been witness to enough of the vampire’s feedings to avoid feeling any kind of sense of security around the ancient creature. He knew that whoever was selected among the ladies would be promptly torn to shreds. If they were lucky, of course. Sometimes, his Master was perverse enough to play with his food.

Gwansoo had only seen it once. Eugene now did him the courtesy of asking him to leave if he was in a cat-and-mouse mood.

Still Gwansoo does his best to calm them down. His master does not like hysterical women. In one instance the villagers cannot forget, the women had been so vocal and upset, Eugene had slashed the throat of the lot in anger. All twenty women, they said, dead in a flash. Gwansoo has been calmly talking to them about nonsensical things for the past few minutes, as his Master lounged and watched them all behind hooded eyes.

Now, his Master stood, his head slightly cocked to the side. Gwansoo follows his Master’s golden gaze, which falls upon a lady who sits at the very edge of the group. She stands apart in her finery, sitting upright and primly on the cold wooden floor. It’s the granddaughter of the wealthiest man in the village. Most of the nobles have sent their daughters off to “study abroad”, but Lord Go believed in no such things. Lady Go Aeshin must have turned seventeen this year, for her to be offered to the vampire. She sits with her hands folded in her lap, her gaze fixed on the wall just beyond the throne of bones. She doesn’t even flinch when Eugene comes to stand before her, his cloak pooling like a shadow barely an inch from her knees.

When Eugene points at the loudly wailing woman, then waves his hand, Gwansoo obeys. He’s made his choice.

The rest of the women are escorted out by wan, unhappy slaves, but Lady Go Aeshin stays kneeling. The Master is still standing before her, and it would be rude if she should exit without being directly dismissed. Gwansoo, as he ties the now screaming woman, wonders if good manners have ever been the death of anyone. His eyes search his Master’s face, but Eugene is inscrutable. Bowing, he makes his exit, dragging Guidan out. She will be locked and fed properly until it pleased his Master to feed on her.

Eugene continues to stare at this defiant young woman, interested in spite himself. There have been many women over the course of his existence. Some have approached him, seeking to share his eternal youth. Others have begged him to be their lovers, hoping his hunger would be appeased by sexual favors. He had killed every single one of them. As all of them, without exception, had stank of fear.

This lady, though, sat entirely devoid of fear.

He crouches before her, seeking her gaze. She meets his eyes, then demurely lowers hers. She is behaving as though he were simply a human noble. Perhaps she doesn’t understand his nature? His lips curl in distaste, wondering if her bravery is based on idiocy or ignorance.

Gwansoo is already at the door. “Gwansoo, bring her here,” he says in English, his eyes glowing faintly. The lady’s eyes slide up to his and she starts in surprise. His golden eyes are luminous as he allows for his hunger to show. His fangs elongate at the prospect of a meal, and he relishes in the way her eyes round in terror. To her credit, she doesn’t flinch away from him, standing her ground as she watches him. Gwansoo brings the screaming victim to his Master, but merely leaves her halfway across the throne room. He knows Eugene well enough that, once the feeding starts, the vampire will be unable to differentiate between friend or foe. At least, until he is sated. However, Eugene doesn’t instantly dive for his victim, staring at Guidan as she squirms where Gwansoo made her kneel. He jerks his head toward the lady, “make her watch.”

Gwansoo runs across the room, sliding in place and apologizing as he forces Lady Go Aeshin to turn and look as Eugene circles hungrily. “He wants to you watch, my lady,” he whispers urgently, wanting the lady to understand how important this is. This isn’t the first time Eugene has taken two victims, forcing one to watch as the other dies. It is a particular game the vampire enjoyed. And should the second victim look away, that victim suffered a long, agonizing death. “You must watch. If you don’t, he’ll make you pay dearly for it.”

Go Aeshin’s eyes are wide, but there’s a determined light to them that gives Gwansoo hope.

Together they watch in abject horror as the feeding begins, the throne room echoing with the terrified screams of Eugene’s victim. She thrashes where she kneels and Gwansoo knows his Master is being particularly vicious this time. Sometimes, he’s kind to his victims, giving them an instant and painless death. Guidan seems to have awoken something primal in him and the vampire feasts with a warped pleasure as he feeds on her flesh, blood and pain. The crunch of bone makes Gwansoo flinch and a tremor run through Go Aeshin’s body where she still kneels.

Eugene rises, his eyes still glowing somewhat as his hunger recedes. It’s rare for the vampire to finish the entire body in a single sitting. Eugene stalks with deadly grace toward his crouching translator and kneeling guest, his cloak sweeping behind him and soaked in blood. Eugene rarely eats messily, but his face, white chemise and chest are all covered in bloodstains. His tongue darts out across his bottom lip, catching the beads of blood that remained in a single swipe. He smiles, his fingers curling outwards, signaling for Gwansoo to get away from his guest. Gwansoo jerks to his feet and bows, beating a hasty retreat.

Eugene comes so close that his cloak brushes the lady’s knees. Her hands are still on her lap, but clenched around her skirt. Eugene observes her with interest, crouching once more to seek out her gaze. She meets his eyes just as fearlessly as before. Though she does have a scent about her that speaks of fear, it doesn’t have the same rank odor Eugene knows.

“You are not afraid,” he remarks in Korean, the words perfectly fluent, natural and understandable.

She blinks, clearly not expecting him to speak in Korean, but rallies admirably. “No.”

“Why?” he asks, his bloody hand reaching out. She leans back a bit, but manages to stop herself from retreating. There’s no disgust on her face, but she doesn’t look pleased as he stains her cheek almost perversely. A budding desire blossoms in Eugene’s bosom, something foreign, but not unwelcome.

“I am angry, rather,” she confesses, if a little unwisely. “But I’m not afraid of you… of death.”

Eugene isn’t sure if that’s heroic or stupid. He tells her so, and smirks when her incensed gaze pierces him. Not even Gwansoo dares to look him in the eye like this. “I see,” he says, mockingly. “And why aren’t you afraid?”

Aeshin stops, thinking her answer through. Her brow furrows and Eugene finally puts a word to the desire in his cold, rotten heart.

“Noble ladies live lives like flowers,” she says softly, touching the delicate pattern on her skirt. They’re peonies, and Eugene wants to touch them. He stops himself, remembering the state of his hands. He might have wanted to taint her cheek and skin, but he respects her clothes. They’re a symbol of her status and her virtue; he would not destroy that. “I will live like a flame, instead.”

Noting her word game, he smiles faintly. “Flare, then go out?” he asks, wiping his hands on his cloak. She nods slightly, and he stands, offering his now clean hand. She stares at it, wondering at the elegance of a hand which had, not too long ago, torn a woman apart with ease. Aeshin takes his hand and he pulls her to her feet, gently leading her to the door. She stands at the threshold of his throne room, appropriated from the Joseon king well over a century ago. He smiles at her again, and Aeshin breathes deeply. Reminding herself of the scent of blood that shrouds him like a shadow.

“Come back tomorrow, my lady,” he invites. Aeshin wonders if she really has a choice. His grip on her hand tightens, evaporating the idea of free will. “Please.”

Aeshin nods, hiding her small smile. The vampire’s interest, at least, would discourage her grandfather’s recent attempts at forming an alliance with the Kim Family. His invitation has marked her, one way or another, and Aeshin wonders what his interest in her will bring.

“I’ll be here,” she says, stepping out. The slaves usher her down the dark courtyard, leading her back out the palace walls. She looks back only once at the pale figure still standing beneath the awning, almost hidden entirely from view under his black cloak.

Eugene watches her go, as the feeling curling in his gut spikes.

Anticipation…