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flamediel · 4 years

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yo dont know yashua you cant say he's racist how woulf you feel if someone judged you based on your religion and called you racist and sexist for it? its his right ot believe what he wants and you are being like a nazi attacking him

ok, look. I was just gonna delete this or respond to this w a meme and laugh it off (and the girlies on my snap KNOW this made me cackle) but we’re talking about a particularly insidious brand of racism and misogyny and I feel the need to elaborate. for those who didn’t see this is the post we are discussing.

Let’s start by discussing the tradwife movement. this post was tagged as tradwife, so you can’t tell me it’s not associated with the movement. the hashtag is at the top of the pic and tagged in the description, so it’s hard to miss. Yashua commented on a post with those hashtags being VERY visible saying he liked that, so he v obviously subscribes to those ideas.

What is the tradwife movement? it means “traditional wife” and it originated in alt-right spaces as a means of getting women to subscribe to right-wing ideals. This NYT Opinion piece by Annie Kelly, a Ph.D. student researching the impact of digital cultures on anti-feminism and the far right, describes this phenomenon in incredible depth. Here is a short explanation of where the movement started, pulled from Ms. Kelly’s article

“Some members of the alt-right have been weighing whether the absence of women from their movement is a problem. In 2016, the Swedish nationalist Marcus Follin, who calls himself The Golden One on YouTube, made a video titled “The Women Question.” In it, he urged his followers to dial down the open misogyny and consider new strategies to win over more women to the white nationalist cause. Mr. Follin was responding to statistics from the Austrian presidential election that year, in which female voters helped swing the election away from the candidate of the far-right Freedom Party. “You might not like that women have the right to vote, you might not like that anyone has the right to vote,” Mr. Follin conceded, “but it’s about winning a long-term political victory.

Enter the tradwives.

Over the past few years, dozens of YouTube and social media accounts have sprung up showcasing soft-spoken young white women who extol the virtues of staying at home, submitting to male leadership and bearing lots of children — being “traditional wives.”

If you read through that tiny snippet of the article, what are some keywords that stand out? for me, it’s “alt-right,” and “white nationalist.” The racism there is unmistakable, and while Yashua may not be white he has previously expressed some incredibly racist viewpoints, like how him kissing a Russian woman ended racism and his saying the n-word despite doing the most to separate himself from the black community when it’s even slightly inconvenient for him. If he’s following and participating in tradwife circles, then he’s also v much a part of white supremacist and anti-black movements (yes, POC can be parts of those movements, no it does not make it ok).

The article also makes it incredibly clear how misogynistic the tradwife movement is:

Female fears of objectification and sexual violence remain as potent as ever; the tradwife subculture exploits them by blaming modernity for such phenomena, and then offers chastity, marriage and motherhood as an escape. As one such YouTube commentator, a teenager, told her audience, traditionalism does “what feminism is supposed to do” in preventing women from being made into “sexual objects” and treated “like a whore.”

It’s a lie, of course. Modesty has never been a safeguard against degradation or rape, and we know that a rapist is no less likely to hurt a woman simply because he’s married to her. But it’s not difficult to see how it could be a seductive lie; the continuous headlines made by the #MeToo movement, paradoxically, were eagerly shared among tradwife networks, as supposed proof that sexual liberation had made life unacceptably dangerous for women.

if you read this and aren’t completely appalled by how this movement preys on women’s fears to push them into pursuing subservient roles in relationships with abusive men, then idk how to better explain it for you. White female victimhood has always been weaponized by right-wing movements to tempt them into joining their ranks, but for a man of color with a predominantly brown, Latin American fanbase to be advocating for this shit? He is exposing mostly young, impressionable women of color to a culture that wants them dead, and that will happily manipulate them in order to achieve their ends. he has a platform, and he’s using it to explicitly harm his fans. This has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with the explicit rhetoric of the movement that he showed support for. he isn’t racist and sexist for being Christian (although, Christianity in and of itself is heavily tied to racism and misogyny and, like most organized religions, its members need to evaluate these stances to make sure they don't perpetuate them) he is racist and sexist for supporting ang giving a platform to the tradwife movement.

Now that we’ve discussed the movement as a whole, let’s talk about the meme itself. Of course, the biggest umbrella is Jesus Christ, alluding to how Christian faith protects followers from the “rain” or any harmful things. that’s fine, that’s just Christianity. the problem is what comes next, the husband's umbrella labeled with “protecting” and “providing for the family.” UNDER that, and thus presumably less importantly, is the wife’s umbrella labeled with “managing the home” and “having children.” The meme very clearly positions the wife’s role as subservient to the husband’s. Look, it’s perfectly okay to want to be a housewife and devote yourself to kids, but this responsibility is not less than that of the breadwinner. Housework is literally a necessity in maintaining livable conditions, and the reality is in traditional family setups it’s considered menial. if a wife wants to stay home and take care of the kids that’s fine, and if you want to marry a woman that’s into that then that’s also fine, but that woman is not lesser than you. Her role is equal to yours, and just as necessary to sustaining your life as yours is to sustaining hers. Putting a woman’s role under yours, no matter your ideal family dynamic, is sexist. That is a very basic misogynistic ideal, and we cannot ignore that.

Now, onto your comment specifically.

“how woulf [sic] you feel if someone judged you based on your religion and called you racist and sexist for it”

I am not judging Yashua based on his religion. He is a Christian, and I don’t judge him based solely on that fact. I judge him based on specific problematic things he’s said to support his Christianity. Calling Buddha an “old fat man” is racist, regardless if you’re a Christian or not. Implying that women are subservient to men is sexist, regardless if you’re a Christian or not. These are not isolated incidents with him, and they point to deeper-rooted beliefs that are frankly concerning. It’s not about the fact he’s Christian, it’s about his specific beliefs.

I’m not going to pretend that there are no problematic sects and beliefs in Islam, but I am comfortable in the fact that I don’t support them, and in fact actively advocate against many of them. I’m literally going into Human Rights to help fight the racism and misogyny ingrained in my country’s religious laws. this is by no means comparable to Yashua, and if you’re implying that I’m racist or sexist on the very basis of my being Muslim you are not only wrong but also islamophobic as fuck.

“its [sic] his right ot [sic] believe what he wants”

Yes, it is. So long as those beliefs don’t actively harm other people, especially marginalized groups like these do. and guess what anon? if he has the right to believe what he wants, so do I. and I believe he’s a racist, misogynistic asshole who is in desperate need of self-reflection. The difference between mine and his beliefs is that mine don’t actually harm anyone and are well-founded. his are actively hurting his fans, and he needs to fix up because he is spreading incredibly fucked up beliefs.

“you are being like a nazi attacking him”

um. yeah, NO. it is not like nazism to call someone out for perpetuating alt-right ideas. if anything, calling out pro-nazi propaganda is uhh. probably one of the least nazi-like thing someone can do. also equating me calling out a problematic meme to a literal genocide is anti-Semitic and tone-deaf as fuck. Don’t pull that shit here.

well then, I think this is a good enough response. I am very passionate about these issues, and if someone else wants to discuss them I am happy to, but just an FYI, I expect you to be coming in with proper manners. the only reason I answered this ask is because it was an important conversation starter, but if anyone brings this energy into my ask box again it’s a straight block. I hope that’s clear, and that this was helpful. Let me know if you want me to adjust the tags on this post, I did my best but I know this can be a triggering topic, so if you need anything specific tagged just shoot me an ask or a dm. Stay safe!

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stevenbasic · 4 years

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I couldn’t believe my life had come to this, waiting in my car as evening began to settle over Far Horizons Medical Associates, watching for Melissa to pull out of the parking lot. We had just walked out together, after what turned out to be a long day of patients for me and...whatever it is she does...for her. A catch-up day, for sure, after a week away from work. Our chat, as we had locked up the office and both headed out to our cars, was idle and friendly. She was headed to the gym, and asked what I’d be doing tonight. I lied, of course, telling her my wife, Sheryl, had a nice dinner planned. Maybe we’d catch up on the series we’d been watching.

But here I was, watching Melissa finally pull out of the lot and disappear into traffic in her white beemer. Only then did I think it safe to turn off my car, grab my bag, surreptitiously hurry back to the building, and sneak back inside. I felt so foolish...

My practice, I guess I should explain, occupied the biggest of three decent-sized office suites on the ground floor of our building. Well, I say “our”, but it was really Sheryl’s. She had bought it as an investment property, years ago, and rented the space back to the practice. One of the other two suites had been a physical therapy office, but was now recently vacant. Sheryl hadn’t, as far as I knew, been looking actively for new tenants. The third set of offices was currently a financial advisory group; they’d been there a while.

Above the first floor, there were some smaller spaces Sheryl also rented out for little private offices. There was a patent attorney, a coin trader and a couple CPA’s, but most of them had recently been vacant, too. There was also one space that she’d converted to a basic little studio apartment that was, as of just last night, no longer vacant. It was now, in fact, where I was heading.

Furtively, I entered the main foyer space of the building through the glass doors from outside, hoping beyond hope that I hadn’t been seen. While the now-locked entrance to FHMA was directly on my right, those to the other two suites on the opposite wall, I headed to an unmarked door in the far corner, which led to a stark, cement stairway, which went up to the second floor hallway, a utilitarian passage which itself led me to…

...home.

I struggled a bit with the key but finally got the door opened, switched on the fluorescent overhead light, and sighed. I was greeted with several small stacks of boxes, an old couch, and the silence of bare white walls. At least it smelled okay.

The fight, last night, was a bad one. I’d known, driving home from the airport, that Sheryl would be waiting for me at home. I realized, of course, even when I was down south at the conference with Melissa, that a full week away was too much. The extra few days at the end to relax was irresponsible, escapist, just a chance to avoid the problems I had up here in my real life - the tensions at home, in my marriage. The loss of respect I’d been feeling at work. I knew in the end it was just going to make them all worse, exacerbating the already festering issues. Now it was coming to a head…

...and the photos didn’t help.

Sheryl had, I immediately saw as I had stepped in the front door, a manilla folder full of them. Possibly two, in fact.

“Hi honey,” she said plainly, as I struggled my bag into the living room, dropping it in the arched doorway, “welcome back.”

Full-page photographs, mostly of Melissa posed in various bikinis, lay strewn across our coffee table, spilled from the folder labeled “phone”, in black sharpie. I recognized them all: the white bikini, the burgundy, the rainbow. There were also a few more photos, Melissa in a beach dress, Melissa laughing, a selfie of the two of us together. I recognized those too. I recognized all these pictures, of course, because I had taken them.

“Hey uh...what’s all this..?” I asked, dumbly, as my heart began to race. Oh my god, what had she done?? I knew - now, at least - that whatever pictures I took with my phone automatically got shared with Sheryl, that she could see them. I’d kicked myself for my naivete multiple times upside-down and sideways since she’d explained that to me, having seen all the damning modeling pics I’d taken for Melissa at the beach last Wednesday. This was obviously a folder full of them. What was in the other?

“I don’t know, honey. Why don’t you tell me..?” Sheryl answered.

I, of course, was totally awkward, inept and hapless in my defense. How does one explain hundreds of bikini shots of one’s Uber-buxom Office Manager on one’s phone to one’s wife? Or the photo Melissa took of me, with lipstick on my forehead? How does one argue one’s point when one’s opponent is a high-powered corporate attorney who has prepared her case and stacked her deck against one? One does it...poorly.

I tried, I really did, to assuage Sheryl, to convince her that nothing happened during our trip, between me and Melissa. Nothing did!! Really!! But I knew my heart was not in it, and - if I was being honest - throughout the last two months since I’d hired Melissa I’d been effectively unfaithful to Sheryl, at least in spirit. I did my best, though, to plead my case and she watched me do it, sitting there on the couch in what she’d call her “warrior princess” look. Hair, clothes and makeup she’d use when she knew her adversary was a male easily swayed by such an appearance...one such as myself. Sheryl was a beautiful woman, and she knew it. She knew the warpaint, the big fluffy blond hair and the tight dress showing off her healthy implants would give her power in this exchange, tip the scales even further in her favor.

But her coup-de-grace was the pictures. She had printed them, of course, to humiliate me. Nice and big, glossy, they were certainly all that, for sure. But, of course, they’d also be pretty useful to her in court, since she’d have to expect I’d delete them from my phone...which I’d done (after saving them al elsewherel…) Nonetheless, here was her proof.

She had let me talk, and then she went on her tirade. It actually started calmly enough.

“Do you realize how weak you look, how pathetic,” she began, coolly, “spending your time with her? This...girl?”

“M-Melissa’s n-not just a ‘girl’...” I retorted, beginning to defend myself, trying to match Sheryl’s composure, but feeling the heat in my face already and hearing the stumble in my speech, “this was for work, she’s an employee, our office manager, a...a…”

“A what? A G-cup?” she snapped

she’s actually an H-cup…I thought to myself, in a silent flush of shame.

Sheryl knew, of course, my history, my weakness for the young and buxom. It had nearly ended our marriage in the past, several times. “At first, when you first hired her, I was more disappointed in you than angry,” she continued, regaining her poise, “knowing why you’d done it, that you were basically helpless. I was disappointed that you, after all these years, were still so weak-willed and stupid. I do suppose it's no picnic having that huge penis of yours. It’s honestly the only outstanding thing about you, but it must be a burden. It sort of overwhelms your brain, doesn’t it? Make you make these stupid decisions?”

This was so humiliating. “Sheryl, c’mon..”

“No, really,” she said, calmly, “Sometimes I think I shouldn't blame you for being a slave to that...thing. You’re just a man, and your erection is the biggest part about you. But you’re also my husband. You made a commitment, and I’ve worked so hard on this marriage. So, yes, back then, when you hired her, I was disappointed...but I wasn’t angry.”

Oh my god I felt like a child being scolded, but in my disgrace I held my tongue.

“But now,” she continued, the heat beginning to build in her voice, “seeing all those pictures, seeing her tits all over you phone, seeing the two of you together, now I’m angry…”

“Sh-Sheryl, listen, I-“ I tried, stepping towards where she sat.

“Is that really what you want?” she asked, voice breaking for the first time, “To be with someone like her? Someone young and dumb? It is, isn’t it? You like that she’s big and young and dumb, that she’s soft and pretty and that she adores you...”

I stepped in again. “n-no, honey, wait…”

“Don’t ‘honey’ me…” she bit, “not after you hired not just her, but a whole harem of them. Because that’s what you’re doing, isn’t it? Building yourself a harem of young, dumb, soft pretty things?”

“Sheryl, pleas-“

“Be quiet,” she commanded, suddenly standing up from the couch.

I gasped, and visibly took a step back. She was surprisingly, impressively tall in her office stilettos, and I couldn't hide my shock. If she noticed, she said nothing, just narrowed her eyes for a moment and pressed on. “You should just go be with your big-boobie office manager, your new little bunnies, if that’s what you want. Let them take you and coddle you, tell you it's all okay. Let them kiss away all the boo-boos you got from your big, mean wife.”

She took a step towards me; I took a step back. A smile curled on her face as she watched my reaction.

“Oh, yes. Don't think I don't know,” she continued, her voice chilling again, “don't think that I don't know what you did with Rina, your secret little fantasies. I know what you like, they all know what you like. Rina told them at the office four years ago and it’s going to follow you for the rest of your life.”

Sheryl stepped right up to me; we were eye-to-eye. wh-what the…?? She watched the shivers run through me as I realized I was not just dealing with someone who could intellectually and emotionally dwarf me, but someone who could also possibly physically harm me as well.

“Sheryl, h-hold on…wh-what Rina and I did, it-“

Her smile frightened me, and her voice changed. “Awwwww,” she cooed, in baby-talk, her eyes flashing as she took to releasing the years of pent-up resentment, “All that baby-play, what you did with Rina, is that what you want, sweetie-pie?”

Suddenly unable to face her, I turned away, stepped away. I felt her following behind.

“You miss it, hmm? You want it again, right, baby?” she persisted, hammering away at me from behind in that babydoll voice, “But now you want ‘Melissssy’ to be your mommy now, don’t you?? Yes...yes you do!”

“Sheryl, s-stop..!”

“Oh, I'm sorry..! Is that emasculating??” she chided, “Am I emasculating you? Telling you that I know, that everybody knows, that what you really want is to be an infant?? That you may look like a big strong man - or, whatever you are, these days - but inside you’re nothing but a child. A toddler. A little needy baby that just wants its mommy.”

“Oh my god Sheryl, n-no, please…”

From behind she took my shoulder and, forcefully, spun me around to face her. “You look at me,” she ordered, “Look at me when I’m talking to you, you understand?”

Meekly, I nodded. “y-y-yes…” I answered. .

She sneered at me. “Jesus. Face it, honey, you’re an infant already,” she told me, her eyes boring into mine as my gaze dropped; she allowed it, as I was looking at her chest. “Think about it: women own your business, women own your house, women organize and keep your little practice running,” she said, laying bare all my deepest truths, opening the wound that has festered for years. All I could do was stand there and take it, eyes cast downward. “Women figure out what you’re going to eat, what you’re going to wear. And you love it, how we infantilize you, you don’t fight it at all,” she continued, “You all do, you men, these days. You love it. It’s everywhere. Men are becoming like little babies, more helpless every day, while women are working harder, becoming their big, competent mommies, taking care of everything, letting you cling to us just to make it through life. It’s happening, you’ve seen it...”

She looked at me, pausing in her diatribe, and considered. She had me sufficiently cowed, obsequiously speechless; her voice dropped.

“But you...you...you’ve been this way all along. That’s what makes you different,” she said, half-cryptic, “That’s why they want you.”

“wh-what do you m-mean?“ I asked, a strange fear gripping me, a primal instinct, making me find my tongue and raise my eyes to her.

She pressed on like she didn’t hear me.

“In some ways I guess I can't blame you,” she continued, “You're a beta male, surrounded by alpha females...”

Oh my god, this? Sheryl, too??

“...Me, Melissa, all the rest, all of us alphas,” she stated, as if it was plain as day, “It’s the hierarchy of mankind...or in your case womankind. There's no way you can avoid it.”

“wh-where is this coming from??” I suddenly blurted, the fear and confusion in me bubbling up finally in a defensive yawp, “Is this from those meetings you’ve been going to? I don’t know if I want you going to them any more..!”

holy shit what did I just say..???

“WHAT?!?” she screamed, her hands suddenly on my chest, pushing me with surprising force backwards. I stumbled, my knees catching the overstuffed chair behind me. I fell backwards into it, and sat frozen, stunned, gaping up at her in shock and fright. My heart raced.

She looked down at me, eyes wide. She seemed, for the moment, surprised herself, that she was capable of what she just did...and at how easy it was.

She took a step towards me; I recoiled below as she seethed.

“Y’know what I wish? Hm?!?” she glared down at me, imperiously, over her nose and full chest as her anger flashed again, “I hope that someday, someday soon...I hope you get exactly what you want. I hope you get a woman that really emasculates you. That just dwarfs you, with all that she is. A woman that makes you feel tiny, like the weak little man you really are.”

I watched as the anger of the last seven years all came to bear above me, in her, as she began to rage.

“Oh god!” she cried, “I hope someday you get what you really want! I hope you get crushed between the tits of a huge, strong woman!! I hope you get shrunk to the size of a tiny little bug by her, I do, and I hope I get to watch!”

Jesus christ what is she saying?!? Where did she get this?!? And why - oh god no - am I getting..? I can’t let her see...

In her fury, she continued, her fists balled. “Oh god I’d like to see that, I'd like to see you squashed,” she spit, “I'd crush you myself, if I could. I'd crush you under my big, high heel.”

I moaned, a pitiful wail. She looked at me, aghast.

“Oh god this is turning you on right now, isn’t it?!?” she fumed, suddenly incredulous, “Me yelling at you? Me humiliating you??” She leaned over, brought her face so close to mine. I backed away, retreating the inches I could. Her fists still balled, she all but snarled: “Do you get aroused when a strong woman gets angry at you?” She watched me trembling, and dropped her voice as she began to speak more slowly. “Oh my god you do. You get off on being...belittled,” she said, “Being made to feel small by the anger of a woman. And you love that, you love feeling small, don’t you..?”

She considered me, thought for a moment, ignoring the near-wordless denials I was trying to form. “Well, then, let me help you out, if you want to feel small,” she said and then, without another word, she grabbed me through my pants,

“Sh-Sheryl, no..!” I sobbed, weakly moving to grab her wrist. She slapped me away, her hand now forcefully half-encircling my turgid girth through my khakis.

She squeezed, then she unleashed.

“Would it make you feel small if I told you I have more than fifty times the money that you do?? Hm?” she sneered, inches from my face, pressing my outsized cock down into my thigh, feeling it harden with her anger, under her abuse, “That with my new jobs I made more last week than you made in a year. You didn’t know that, did you?? No - I do all our banking, I do all our finances. You wouldn’t know. You let me take care of everything. I own this house, I own the practice.” She squeezed my shaft, roughly, making me spasm, my whole body tense towards her. “You’ve been basically nothing but an employee of mine these past thirteen years. An employee that I let live under my roof, eat my food…”

Insistently, she began to stroke my cock through my pants, slowly, with a strong grip and commanding authority. “How does it feel to be a kept man, hm?” she asked, watching my eyes flutter helplessly in the newly lit blaze of arousal to which she had me held, mercilessly working me now, “I know you. You like people to think that I stay with you because you’re a rich doctor, that you’re a successful man. But it’s really quite the opposite, isn’t it? You stay with me because you’d be nothing without me. I own your house, I own your car. I’m your fucking boss. You have barely anything in savings and what you do have I would totally consume with our pre-nup”

My voice began to bubble up, to tremble. “w-w-why…?” was all I could manage, not even knowing what I was asking.

”Why? Why do I stay with you?!? Oh my god I ask myself that all the time, all these years, through all the affairs and the mistakes and the absolute pitiful way you run your life.” My question, my audacity to speak, had only caused her to redouble her efforts; she squeezed me again, pumped me harder. “Why do I stay with you?? I don’t know- maybe because I loved you, once? Maybe because I felt, somehow, that someday you’d change? Or maybe because...maybe because I started to like it. Maybe I started to like the feeling of making more than my husband, of watching him get smaller and smaller to me, inside our home, as I grew bigger and bigger outside it, wealthier and wealthier, more and more successful as he slowly turned into this...this...this little worm, writhing under me, clinging to me. God!!!” she exclaimed, suddenly rising up a bit, putting her free hand on my shoulder, “Do you see what you’ve done to me?!? What you’ve made me become?!?”

Whether on purpose or not, she’d positioned her upper body right in front of my face, forcing me to stare at her chest as she worked my cock. I can see her bra, she’s swelling out of it, modest implants under taut flesh. Implants she got for me, years ago. So she could...do this, more easily. And it worked, it fucking worked…

I groaned again. I was already so close...so close to...to coming...oh god no, not in…not in my pants...p-please Sheryl...

“But, yes. Part of me liked the idea of owning you,” she mused, allowing me to just gape at her cleavage, knowing I was close, “Of having you as a kept man. But now...now...it’s done. I’ve decided - I don’t want to keep you any more. They can have you...”

She reached behind herself, grabbed something off the coffee table, her left hand never leaving my lap.

She held it right in front of me, right before my eyes, a picture...

“They can have you…”

With a grunt, a lurch that buckled me forward in my seat, I came under her hand, I came in my pants, I came in the most shameful way I could imagine. I came in my pants under my wife’s strong hand as she kicked me out of the house and gave me to Melissa’s tits

“Unh, unh, unh…” I whined, allowing myself only the briefest of moments to ogle the photo, and then casting my eyes down, clamping them shut in my vileness. My cock, so huge, bucked and jerked in the hips of my khakis, soaking them - I felt that already, its hot brine, gooping onto my thigh, making a mess.

“There you go,” Sheryl said, her hand still squeezing my firm spongy shaft, “get it all out…”

I groaned, I groaned as I felt Sheryl move, putting down the photo so she could support me with her right hand to my shoulder. Otherwise, I would have folded forward, right into her

She squeezed me, she milked me, she urged and pulled everything she could from my cock, into my pants, and as my eyes began to open I saw the spectacle, the shameful stain darkening my pant-leg, nearly the entire thing from mid-thigh down to my knee.

”a-are you divorcing me?” I peeped, finally, the first words I could manage as my climax faded, my cock pulsing weakly now. My meekly resigned question sounded fully like a demission, obsequious surrender to whatever she wanted.

“No, I’m not divorcing you,” she replied, with austere plainness, “The world would eat you alive, and I’m not ready for that yet.” She watched the monstrosity of my erection fading, under her hand. “But I am kicking you out of my house.”

Where will I go??? I thought, with passive acceptance, even as the last pulses of climax had yet to fade. Images of sleeping in my car, soaked in my own filth, crept through my skull.

As if reading my mind (omigod can they all do that??) Sheryl spoke up. “Don’t worry, you’re not going to be homeless,” she said, still tenderly massaging the now softening mush of my spent manhood, squishing it wetly into my leg, “But...you do need to be put in your place. So, I have a place for you. It’s perfect. Nice and small.”

The apartment, at the office, hers, she explained, as I watched her left hand tend to my afterspasms. I’d live there, I’d live in the little apartment she kept as a side thought, a pittance of her charity. I knew I really had no other option, and hung my head. It proved how dependent I was on her; I’d have a place to live only on account of her good graces. It was just something else she could lord over me, show me how small I was.

“Now, get up. Get up,” she instructed, finally peeling her hand off me, leaving me sticky and foul as she sat back, “Get up and leave. I’ve packed your bags, your things. They're all there already.” She stood, over me, seeing me still trembling from my trauma. “Just go, here’s a key-“ she said, fishing into her top and pulling a key from her bra.

“Sh-Sheryl…?”

Dismissively, she tossed it at me. “Go lose yourself in her tits for all I care.” It bounced off my chest, slid down onto the chair.

Clumsily, I floundered at finding the key in the cushion, as all the while Sheryl straightened her skirt, smoothed her hair. “n-no, I’m going to show you,” I began, finally gathering the key, finally starting to stand, rising wobbly to my feet, “I’m n-not that weak. I’m going to prove myself to you...”

”Sure you will,” she said, not even looking at me at this point, “now get out.”

“Sheryl, c’mon…”

“Get. Out.” Her eyes were on me again, cold and hard. She pointed at the door.

At the end, the end of my time in my home of seven years, I was walking towards the front door when my wife said one last thing to me. “Wait…” she said, causing me to pause, look back.

“Turn around…” she said, regarding me with new, discriminating eyes, “...are you shorter?”

==============

Thanks to TopographicSociety and tumblr reader nycslave for inspirations

#Growing Into the Job

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cheshirecatstudies · 5 years

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semi-productive things to do when you can’t sleep🌘

I know that going on your phone is not good for trying to sleep, but these are just things I do. I also use night time mode, which reduces the white light my phone produces💫

sort out your music. go through your playlists and delete old songs that you don't listen to anymore. create some new playlists to motivate and make you happy🎸

back up photos. go through your camera roll and delete pics you don't need anymore and back up any which are not stored in a cloud space📸

apps. delete apps that you don't use any more to create more storage space📱

contacts. get rid of contacts you no longer associate with or are a negative influence in your life. you don't need them boo xxx

social media. unfollow👏people👏who👏bring👏you👏down👏you deserve 👏more👏ok👏thanks👏

go through your inbox. delete spam emails📩

some other stuff that doesn't involve technology💫

test pens and throw away ones that don't work anymore✏️

write up some notes/assignments that will be due in the near future📒

make lists! collections? goals? favourite things? 🤓

practice hand lettering/handwriting. It'll help it become neater. you could also work on a signature if you don't have one already xx

bullet journal. fill out future logs and add colour and doodles to previous spreads💕

#studyblr #new studyspo #study aesthetic #study motivation #cheshire cat #productivity #follow for follback #cant sleep #back to school #studying #studyspo #studygram #be productive #being productive #hustle #hustle hard #youve got it #study better

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ficswithrimi · 4 years

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Golden (Final Chapter Pt. 2)

First Chapter: Chapter 1

Last Chapter: Final Chapter Pt. 1

Wanna listen to the official Golden soundtrack? Click here!

A/N: My notes will be at the end of this chapter. Please watch this and listen to this. (For FEELS listen to the song on REPEAT in the last section of the chapter.) Thank you and enjoy the final chapter.

~!~

Your POV

“Golden revealed himself! Jeon Jungkook!”

“Golden is Jungkook?”

“He’s that Jeon kid?”

All around you, people were shouting, screaming, applauding, and some crying – for who knows what reason – as they watched Jungkook reveal himself as Golden from their cellphones. You were too focused on trying to enter the auditorium to pull out your cell to watch. Besides, you were supposed to be there in person – not watching him from a tiny ass screen. You couldn’t hear anything from the phones that surrounded you as everyone were too busy screaming over one another about Golden revealing himself. Whatever his reveal was, it must’ve been epic.

“Ah, you can enter now,” the guy officer said as he stood up to open the door. The applause heard from the inside intensified when the doors open. You immediately ran inside and saw the scene from outside looked like the inside. Students were standing, shouting, applauding, and crowding the stage. Your eyes tried to see if you could spot Chloe or Taehyung within the crowd of students, however, it was a loss cause. Slowly, your eyes focused in on the perplexed man on stage. He seemed to be in shock from all the attention he was getting but you could tell something was off with him. His own eyes eventually looked towards the entrance – towards you – as he stood on stage. Just him looking over to you caused a smile to grace your lips as you felt your heart beat intensely. You were happy he finally was able to reveal his agonizing secret to the school.

“Thank you, Mr. Jeon. Students, please clear the aisle so we can continue our exam,” The professor tried to sound stern, but everyone could hear the elatedness in her voice. She was beyond impressed with Jungkook’s reveal. You watched as Jungkook slowly climbed down from the stage, giving out timid high-fives and handshakes to the students he passed by. Trying to keep an eye on him and his green sweater, you began to squeeze in between and push through the students as everyone tried to return to their seats or move closer to see Jungkook. As you continue to shove your way through, you heard the professor trying to regain order of the class by threatening to take points off everyone’s grade if they didn’t settle down. Finally, you were able to reach the near front of the auditorium – where you knew Jungkook and Taehyung usually sat. Your eyes widened in excitement as you spotted Taehyung and Chloe grinning at Jungkook as he shyly socialized with some of the surrounding students. Chloe looked away briefly and over to you before shooting up from her seat and yelling for you to come over.

“Y/N!” Chloe waved you over. Suddenly, you could feel eyes burning into your skin. Golden’s identity was a secret when it came to the blog, but yours, however? Everyone knew who you were thanks to Jungkook’s public publishing of your messages to him. Of course, it was sort of your fault, as well. You could’ve messaged him on anonymous like others, however, you wanted to stand out to him. And you did. Of course, with all great things, came drawbacks. You could hear people whispering about you as you got closer to your friends. You didn’t have to look around the room to know you were receiving judgmental glares and scoffs from the people around you. It made you a bit self-conscious as you hurried over to the seat.

“You’re late! Where the hell were you?” Chloe frowned at you as stood at the end of the row, waiting for Taehyung to move so you could claim your seat in between Chloe and… Jungkook.

“Sorry…” You mumbled while Taehyung grinned at you as you slid past him. Before you could ask Jungkook to let you by, he stood up in the tight space, towering over you as your head met his chest. You glanced up slightly at him, half expecting to look into his dark brown eyes, however, he seemed to be avoiding your gaze. Moving onwards, you plopped into the seat Chloe had reserved for you by using her bag. You watched as Jungkook sat back down in his seat and shyly waved at some girls who kept turning back in their seats to giggle and whisper about the man. This irritated you a bit but also saddened you. Was Jungkook upset with you because you missed his reveal? You already knew he was Golden. Of course, he didn’t know that, but still. Why would he be upset?

“Do you have something? She’s going in random order,” Chloe said. “I already went and obviously Golden here has gone…”

You saw Jungkook flinch a little as Chloe casually mentioned his blog to you. “I have… something…”

“What is it? Tell me,” Chloe grabbed your arm and shook it. You tuned her out as you glanced at Jungkook. He hadn’t said anything to you and, honestly, you were a bit scared to say anything to him. Not just because you missed his reveal and – let’s face it – he was obviously upset about that. But also, this was your first time facing him while you both knew he was Golden. All your mind could think about was that time on the bench where you admitted your feelings for Golden and even kissed Jungkook’s cheek. Was he also remembering what you had said about wishing to never have talking to him? Of course, you didn’t know Jungkook was Golden at the time. Maybe he thought you were upset because he was under the impression you didn’t know? But… he saw you smile at him. He had to know you weren’t upset. Shaking your arm from Chloe’s grasp, you turned to Jungkook.

“Jungkook-“

“Y/L/N Y/N!” You turned your head to the front of the auditorium as you heard the professor call your name. “You’re up… if you’re here.”

“This ought to be good” Chloe smiled mischievously as your eyes shifted back to Jungkook. He glanced briefly at you before nodding his head at you. Letting out a heavy sigh, you stood up and made your way to the end of the aisle. Taehyung gave you a saddened smile as your eyes met his, causing your heart to pang at the sight. You haven’t spoken or seen the junior since he revealed he wasn’t Golden to you. This just wasn’t your day.

Again, you could feel the cold, hard stares – along with some curious ones – as you made your way to the stage. You could feel the nervous lump growing in the back of your throat as you shakily climbed the stairs to the stage. Nervously, you removed your phone from your back pocket and connected it to the screen. Immediately, your blog popped up on the screen above. It was plain – a simple white background with a pastel pink border. There wasn’t a blog description and the only thing on it was a video posted about 53 minutes ago. Swallowing hard to get rid of the lump in your throat, you turned on your heel to investigate the audience. Nearly all eyes were on you as they awaited to see what you, the girl Golden gave the most attention to, would do. Even the camera crews in the back were focused on you. It wasn’t until this moment that you realized you were also well-known on your campus as DancerCookies.

“Uh… hi… so um….” You eyed your professor who rested her chin on her laced fingers. “My old blog, DancerCookies, was just your normal blog. I just reposted recipes, food pics, and videos of people dancing. Um, because of an incident, I had to delete my blog and it led me to create this one…”

The professor seemed to arch a brow as you said this which caused your heart to beat faster than it already was. You just knew you had already failed the assignment before even beginning.

“Um, I think this blog assignment helped me figure out who I am. My old blog showed how I was torn between two things, indecisive about who I wanted to be. I think a lot of us go through that, especially us underclassmen. We’re forced to choose what we want to be right out of high school and that can make or break us. It almost broke me but, thanks to some friends – to a certain person… I was able to see who I really am and realize who I want to be. My new blog isn’t that great… but I think with this one post, everyone can feel the emotion I put into this Especially,” You paused as your eyes found and landed on Jungkook’s in the crowd. “You… Golden.”

With that, you inhaled deeply and pressed the ‘play’ button on your phone, starting the video behind you. Tori Kelly’s Paper Hearts immediately began to play. You stood off to the side as the video of you gracefully dancing to the song played on the screen. Biting your lip nervously, you looked towards your professor who held a soft smile on her face as she watched the clip. Looking away, you looked towards who you could see in the room of students. Everyone seemed to be entranced by your dance. It made your heart swell at the sight. If this last-minute choregraphed dance could hold the attention of people, imagine the effect you’d have in the future when you perform, hopefully, live for audiences and them falling in love you’re your moves. It was a dream. Finally, you looked to Jungkook. Your elated heart sunk at being unable to read his facial expression. You had worked so hard on the dance and wanted to use this reveal as a silent reveal of your feelings towards him. You knew he’d be the only one to understand the reference.

As the video ended, you managed to give out a wavered smile before removing your phone. The applause and cheers from your classmates meant nothing as none of them were from the person you wanted it to be from. You bowed slightly to the professor as you got off the stage and made your way back to your seat. You smiled at Taehyung as he congratulated you for your blog and slid past him. Jungkook still didn’t seem to notice your presence entirely as he let you by him, however, you did manage to see a slight blush on his face.

“Hey!! Cookie girl! That was sweet!” A guy in front of you turned around in his seat and grinned at you. Your face flushed at his comment and nodded your head at him in response.

“Her name is Y/N and she’s gonna be a famous choreographer. Remember her,” Chloe frowned at the guy as he just rolled his eyes at her and turned back in his seat. You tuned Chloe out as she started rambling about people giving you the respect you deserved and not linking you to Golden all the time. Her mentioning Golden caused you to glance towards Jungkook again. His attention was still on the stage. Gulping quietly, you eyed his arm that rested on the armrest of his chair. After a moment of internally arguing with yourself, you decided to get the man’s attention. Sighing, you gently tapped his arm. Your heart leapt to your throat as you visibly saw him jump from your sudden touch and turn towards you, his brow arched. You were used to a smiley Jungkook who showed his bunny-like smile whenever he saw you. Not this serious Jungkook. He really was upset…

“Jungkook, I-“

“We’ll talk later…” He said under his breath so only you could hear. “Everyone… is watching…”

You blinked at his words as you turned from him and looked around. Sure enough, people were still gawking at him. It felt like you were near a celebrity. Jungkook didn’t handle loads of attention well do to him being shy. That’s why he had kept Golden a secret for so long. Maybe he wasn’t mad at you. Maybe he was just overwhelmed. This was only the beginning, too. Who knew what would happen after the final was over?

~!~

You were surprised to see the area in front of the language arts building had been cleared out by the time the CW final ended – three hours later. Apparently, the school president threatened academic suspension for the disruption of a final. You thought it was kind of funny considering he allowed the final to be recorded live by the news reporters. Either way, you were grateful the only people you’d have to worry about obsessing over Jungkook were your classmates and the reporters demanding an onsite interview. Even though you wanted your chance to speak with the freshman, you were kind of glad everyone was crowding him. Your nerves were eating you from the inside out as you wondered just what would be said in your talk between Jungkook and you. The more the crowd held him up, the better. Chloe, Taehyung, and you waited off to the side as you watched Jungkook shyly smile and high-five and shake the hands of numerous students. Your lips would tremble downwards in worry whenever you saw a woman smile flirtatiously at Jungkook while flipping their hair just a little too much. You knew some of those relationship – marriage – requests were being serious but Jungkook always brushed them off.

“Look at them leeches-“

“Chloe!” You shot her a look. “Insulting them is like insulting me… I’m just like them…”

Chloe turned to you with her hands on her hips, an incredulous look plastered on my face. “Are you being serious? You’re way different from them. You’re not throwing yourself all over him like these girls. And based on what? His music taste?”

“That is how I started…”

“Exactly! Started. You liked Jungkook before you even found out he was Golden!”

“She’s right…” Taehyung spoke up. You both turned to him as the man had been silent for most of the morning. “You’re not like them. I wouldn’t call them leeches either…”

Chloe shrugged as she turned away from the two of you and went back to impatiently waiting for Jungkook to break free.

“Don’t worry about them,” Taehyung placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. Your heart ached a bit as you stared into his brown eyes. He was still hurt over you rejecting him. You didn’t mean to hurt him, but you didn’t want to lead him on. “I’m gonna head back to my dorm. I’ll see you later?”

You nodded your head at him as you gave him a small smile. He briefly flashed his boxy grin – not as bright as usual, however – before squeezing your shoulder and letting it fall. You watched as he retreated away before hearing someone suck their teeth from behind you. You stumbled a bit as the same person gently pushed themselves between you and Chloe.

“I’m not scared of catching a charge. You know that, right?” Chloe gritted her teeth at the intruder. You just glared at the woman.

“What, Seulgi?” You spat.

“Nice performance. What was that? Your love confession to Jungkook? Ha. If I were the professor, I’d fail you for plagiarism.”

“Excuse me?” You arched a brow at her.

“I knew you guys were friends beforehand. Do you think he’s still going to like you after you stole his presentation?”

“Her presentation was nothing like Jungkook’s-“

“I don’t even know how he revealed himself-“

“Sure. Point is, give up. I told you before I was going to be the one to date Golden, didn’t I?” Seulgi flipped her brown locks. You followed her eyes as she smirked towards Jungkook who seemed to finally have a chance to break free as the crowd was starting to disperse thanks to the guards from earlier. Feeling anger rise in you, you snapped your head to Seulgi. You were tired of her shit. The entire semester she talked down to you and even tried to ruin your friendship with Chloe. Hell, you were positive she was the main culprit for the harassing anons you got on your blog. Now, here she was thinking she could easily snatch Jungkook away from you like he was some prize to be won. Did she even see him as Jungkook? From all you could tell, he was just Golden to her. And if she knew Jungkook like you did, she’d know that, yeah, Golden was in there somewhere, but for the most part, she’d get this sweet 18-year-old guy who’s face turned into a tomato when put into social situations, or sketched random things he’d seen throughout the day in his notebook, or encouraged his friends to follow their dreams while assuring his undying support, or how he worked hard in whatever he did – whether it be dancing, singing, or school. Seulgi only knew the sarcastic – sometimes an asshole – guy online. She didn’t know the real Jungkook… like you did.

“Look, Seulgi, I’m tired of your shit. You think you’re the best match for Jungkook when literally two months ago, at Junmyeon’s party, you told him off for being a freshman. You’ve been sending me shit online on anonymous because you don’t have the balls to say it to my face. And all because I got an ounce of attention from Jungkook. I don’t even know how you found out about Chloe’s blog but to run off and tell Namjoon? How the hell did that effect you in any way? Just because you knew I knew who she was referring to in her blog, so you knew she’d think it was me? So, to ruin me not only online, you tried to destroy my relationships in real life as well? You’re pathetic. Oh, and stop calling Jungkook Golden. Golden is a blog. Not the person.”

Your chest heaved as you glared at her. She looked offended while Chloe was dying of laughter. You saw Seulgi glance beside her at Chloe in disgust and was about to say something in response to you but stopped mid-inhale, causing your eyes to arch. Turning from her, you saw Jungkook standing in front of you guys, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His face was red. Your anger immediately began to dissipate at the sight. He was just so cute. However, not knowing if he had heard what you said or not, your own face began to turn red.

“Ah!” Seulgi’s face immediately lit up from excitement and embarrassment. “Jungkook! I wanted to congratulate you on your blog. Never thought you’d be Golden.”

“Thanks…” Jungkook nonchalantly said as he looked at you. Your eyes widened at him before you averted them towards the ground. “Y/N, can we go talk now-“

“I mean!” Seulgi quickly interrupted Jungkook and stepped closer to the man, gently placing her hand on his arm. “Who would’ve thought such a… shy person was the mastermind behind such a popular blog. How does it feel-“

“I told the reporters and my fans that I’d like to be left alone to talk to my friends now. So…” Jungkook shook her hand off him and looked back towards you. “Y/N?”

Your heart leapt as he addressed you again. His tone was firm, and it sent chills down your spine. You heard Chloe whisper an “oh shit” under her breath before she began to chuckle. Though you were nervous, you glanced up at Jungkook. His face was emotionless. Why couldn’t you read him like normal? You jumped from your thoughts as you felt Chloe nudge your arm to go towards Jungkook. You just shot her a frightened look that she returned with a smirk.

“F-fan? I’m more than that. We’re friends, right-“

“Give it up, Kang,” Chloe laughed as she walked beside Seulgi and wrapped her arm around the woman’s neck and began to drag her away from Jungkook and you. “Let’s chat. Heard you told Namjoon some things that was none of your fucking business…”

You watched as Chloe walked off with Seulgi. Silently, you screamed for her to come back in your head. You knew you’d have to face Jungkook sooner or later but you’d rather it be later. Like, after winter break later. It was funny. Inside the auditorium, you were ready to talk to him then and there. Was that because there were so many people around? Were you still on your high from your presentation and confession? Did Jungkook even see it as a confession? He had to of have, right? That was why he wanted to talk to you. Alone. You’ve confessed your feelings to guys before. You weren’t that shy. However, it was always the confession that you dreaded the most. You never knew what answer you’d receive. At least you could read the past guys’ facial expressions. You haven’t been able to tell how Jungkook was feeling since the final. He only smiled slightly when the reporters and his followers from the class were all in his face. You guess it was now or never. You just hoped whatever he had to say to you, you guys could still be friends afterwards. Losing Jungkook as a friend terrified you the most.

“L-let’s go…” You cleared your throat to hide the quiver in your voice. He nodded at you as he began to walk in the direction of the dorms. Inhaling deeply, you sped up to walk beside him.

~!~

You were absolutely mute on your walk towards the dorms. One, because you didn’t know what to say to the man who was also quiet as a mouse. And two, because you were confused as you were walking the direction of his dorms and not somewhere else. Why was he taking you to his dorms? You couldn’t go inside. He lived in the underclassmen dorms where the opposite gender wasn’t allowed inside. However, you didn’t question him as you silently followed. Occasionally, you’d notice how his hand would sway a bit towards yours and you thought he wanted to hold your hand. However, this thought quickly vanished each time as he still held a solid expression. You tried to tell yourself that maybe he was emotionless because during the walk, you both were stopped several times so people – both students and faculty – could fawn over him being Golden. You accidentally let out a depressed sigh at one of the times that Jungkook – and his fans – heard. It was like everyone had seen his reveal except you. You had no clue as to how he could’ve gone about it. You wanted to pull out your phone and look it up online, however, it’d have to wait until later.

Eventually, you both arrived at a bench that sat outside of his dorm. Your face reddened as you instantly remembered the bench.

A sudden feeling of boldness coming over you – and an urge that you seemingly couldn’t resist – you leaned down and pressed a small kiss on the boy’s cheek.

This was the same bench that you, just a couple of weeks ago, confessed to Jungkook how much Golden stressed you out because of your feelings for him. Then, you proceeded to thank the boy for listening to you by kissing him on his cheek. God, if you only knew then he was Golden, you would’ve told yourself to shut the hell up. You gulped nervously as Jungkook plopped himself down on the bench and eyed you before looking at the spot beside him. Taking it as a sign to sit, you nervously sat beside him.

Taking in a deep breath, you clenched the edge of your jacket. “What did you want to-“

“You missed my presentation, right?” Jungkook immediately asked. You bit your bottom lip nervously as you just nodded your head. Was he… upset about that? It wasn’t like you purposely missed it.

“I’m sor-“

“You also know who I am by now… right?” He chuckled. You couldn’t tell if it was sarcastic or genuine which made your stomach flip.

“You’re Golden…” You whispered out just loudly enough for him to hear you. He didn’t say anything after you said that which made your become frantic. What was he thinking? Was he remembering the time you told him how much Golden stressed you out? How you wish you never got involved with him? All of that was said in this exact spot, after all. You tensed up as he suddenly leaned forward on the bench, scrolling on his phone that you didn’t notice he had pulled out. You glanced down at his screen out of curiosity but couldn’t see anything as his thumb hovered over something.

“You know, your presentation wasn’t the first time you told me you liked me…” Jungkook suddenly said, catching you off guard. You had tried to forget it. “It was here. On this bench around 5am? You were so frustrated with me… with Golden. I felt horrible for ruining your friendship and my followers harassing you. But… I couldn’t tell you who I was yet… because I wanted to surprise you. It was cute how you were so sure it was Taehyung. I was jealous at first but then you told me how much you liked Golden…”

Your face reddened as you remembered how you practically told Jungkook you were in love with Golden. You had hoped the boy would’ve forgotten about it but obviously he hadn’t. Before you could respond to him, Jungkook suddenly stood up and in front of you. You looked up at him confusedly and saw his cheeks were colored in a crimson red. You were almost positive your cheeks resembled his. This had to have been out of Jungkook’s comfort zone – whatever it was he was doing. A confrontation? A confession? You weren’t too sure.

Suddenly, he handed you his phone and pressed a button on it. Immediately it began to play a video. “Out of everyone who saw my presentation, I wanted you to see it the most…”

You blinked at him before shifting your eyes down to the screen. The video showed Jungkook standing awkwardly in the middle of the stage. He shuffled on his feet a bit before he softly began to sing the first verse to Tori Kelly’s Paper Hearts. Your stomach leapt at the sound of his voice. Though you had already known he was Golden, putting the singing voice to his face made you giddy with excitement. Golden was Jungkook. You unknowingly smiled warmly at the screen as Jungkook stopped singing and sent out a message to his blog that revealed him. You weren’t following anyone on your new blog, so you had missed out on that notification. Your smiled widened as you heard Jungkook nervously, but still with a hint of cockiness, recite his blog description. Immediately afterwards, his version of ‘Paper Hearts’ played in the background. So, this was why Seulgi had said you copied Jungkook’s presentation idea. As you stared lovingly at the screen, you didn’t notice Jungkook had squatted down in front of you, watching your reaction to the video. As the video finished, you glanced up at him and jumped slightly at how close he was to you.

“Paper Hearts is my favorite song…” You broke the silence that had began to grow between the two of you. “I never told Golden that…”

“I know,” Jungkook smiled gently at you. You blushed as he stared at you. Jungkook’s shyness was fading away but yours was still growing. Okay, so he showed you how he revealed himself – how he personally recorded a song that he knew you loved. What did that mean…?

“So…”

“I like you, too,” Jungkook immediately said. Before you could fully comprehend his words, you felt his soft lips press against your cheek as his arms rested on your lap for balance. Just as quickly as it happened, though, it ended. You blinked as Jungkook swiftly stood up and turned away from you. Your hand instinctively went up to the spot where he kissed as you stared at him in shock. You could feel the spot where his lips just were still tingling as the heat from your face radiated off onto your fingertips. Coming back to your senses – and mustering up courage – you stood up from the bench and walked over to the 18-year-old who was still turned away from you. No doubt the shy boy was reverting into his shell as he probably regretted what he just did. Giggling, you stood in front of Jungkook. Sure enough, his face was flushed, and his eyes tried to look anywhere but at you. You saw him glance at towards his dorm building and immediately knew he was thinking of fleeing. Just as he was about to dash off, you grabbed onto his coat sleeve and pulled him back towards you. You heard him gulp nervously as he looked nervously down at you. You just grinned at him. This was the shy boy you had fallen for. Not the cocky guy online.

“I’m glad…” You grazed your free hand across his forehead to brush away his fringe to reveal his forehead some. You had always loved to see him with his hair up, after all. “That it’s Jungkook that likes me because he’s the one I like best.”

You shot him a gentle grin before letting go of his sleeve and burying yourself inside of his warm arms. He stiffened for a bit before eventually wrapping his arms around you. You felt dizzy from the smell of his light cologne, but you couldn’t get enough as you closed your eyes and took in the moment. Finally, after a semester of confused feelings, harassment, indecisiveness, and hurt, you felt at peace.

~!~

One Semester Later (Spring)

“What makes you think you’re the first person he wants to see after his family, Choi?”

“Because I’m his girlfriend, Park.”

“He’s known me longer.”

“So what?”

“I have priority.”

“He may have known you longer but trust me. He knows me on the outside and insid-“

“Chloe, can’t we just go one day where you keep things rated PG?” Taehyung groaned as he looked at the bickering best friends. Chloe let out a simple ‘hmph’ before flipping her blonde locks and went back to standing on her tiptoes to look for her giant boyfriend and his friends. Jimin frowned at the woman before also trying to see if he could spot his friends through the crowd of newly graduates and their family and friends.

“Oh! Look! There he is!” Chloe jumped excitedly as she spotted her boyfriend of five months. He was with Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok as they, too, seemed to be searching the crowd for their friends. Seokjin spotted the jumping Chloe and tapped Namjoon on his shoulder and pointed towards the woman. He turned towards her and grinned as he pushed his way through people to get towards her. As soon as he was in the clearing, Chloe ran straight towards him and jumped in his arms and kissed him. Jimin stuck out his tongue in disgust as Taehyung laughed his deep laugh beside him.

“Congrats, baby!” Chloe smiled at Namjoon before looking behind him at the other guys. “And you guys, too! I’m so proud!”

“Thanks, Chloe!” Hoseok smiled at her. Yoongi just nodded at her while Seokjin also gave her a smile. However, his fell as he looked around. He only saw Jimin, Chloe, and Taehyung waiting for them. Two people from the friend group seemed to be missing.

“Hey, where’s Jungkook and Y/N?” Seokjin arched a brow.

“Now that you mention, I haven’t seen them…” Chloe said as she glanced around the crowded stadium field. “She did have that dance audition today…”

“Probably makin’ out somewhere,” Jimin laughed only to earn a glare from Chloe and Seokjin.

“More action than you get, Park,” Chloe frowned.

“Can’t you take her with you to Seoul, Namjoon? Like… you’re really going to leave her here with me?” Jimin pouted at the older man only to get a laugh in response.

“You’ll be okay.”

“Sorry we’re late!” Your filled everyone’s ears. Everyone turned to see you speed walking towards the group with Jungkook trailing close behind her. Chloe smiled at the sight of you approaching with her other friend. You had on a simple black dress with a slit going up your right thigh and black open-toed heels. A gold chain with ballet slippers – that was recently given to you by someone – hung loosely around your neck as an array of bracelets and rings accompanied your wrists and fingers. Your hair bounced wildly around your shoulders as the wind blew around you. In the past couple of months, you had grown to be more beautiful, if that was even possible. Ever since declaring your major and doing something you truly loved, your entire demeanor seemed to be brighter. You were such a talented dancer that your dance professor wanted you to audition for local competitions that involved you choreographing dances. You had successfully won three competitions throughout the spring semester. When you weren’t focusing on school and your future career, your attention was on the man that was trailing behind you.

Jungkook had grown a lot over the semester. The almost 19-year-old had been working out in the gym more and became muscular. Something Chloe often teased you about. He had grown his hair out and gotten his first tattoo that he designed himself and several more ear piercings. You nearly fell out when you saw him return to school over spring break. Though it had been months, he was still popular on campus. He didn’t keep up with his blog from Creative Writing as much anymore, however, he was asked to host his own radio show under his alias, Golden, every Wednesday night. So, the campus and nearby residents could tune into the university’s radio station to listen to Jungkook’s recommendations and to make requests.

“Did ya’ll plan this couple look on purpose?” Yoongi arched a brow as he pointed between you and Jungkook. You both were, in fact, matching. Jungkook wore black slacks and a fitted black dress-shirt with gold buttons. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal his gold watch and rings. One thing that didn’t change about the two of you was your shyness as Chloe visibly saw the redness crawl up your neck to your face.

“N-no! Shut up,” you mumbled quietly. “Anyways, congrats, you guys! I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks!” Seokjin and Hoseok said in unison as they grinned at you.

“How’d your audition go?” Namjoon asked as he rested his arm around Chloe’s waist.

You shrugged as a smile tried to dance upon your lips. You didn’t want to seem too confident. “Eh, it went okay! I may make it… may not…”

“She was amazing,” Jungkook said suddenly, causing your face to heat up in embarrassment. You turned to frown at him in response only for him to flash you his bunny grin that you had fallen in love with.

“We’re going to that sandwich café for the last time to celebrate before our families take us away. You guys comin’?” Namjoon asked you and Jungkook.

“We’ll meet you guys there,” Jungkook said. You turned to Jungkook confusedly as you felt his hand find its way into yours and interlock fingers. What did he have planned that he didn’t tell you about?

“You guys are so cute it’s gross but alright,” Chloe smiled. “Let’s go!”

You and Jungkook stood there as everyone waved bye to you guys and began to leave the field. Still confused as to why you weren’t leaving with your friends, you turned to Jungkook who was holding onto his phone in his other hand.

“What’s up?” You arched a brow at the taller man. He just smiled at you before dragging you off to a more seclusive area.

“I wanted you to be here when I do this,” Jungkook said as he looked around to make sure no one was around. You blinked confusedly at him as your heart sped up. Was this it? Was he finally going to kiss you after three months of dating? Not that you had any complaints. You guys took everything really slow in your relationship. Hell, you guys confessed your feelings in December to one another, but he didn’t officially ask you out until February. Chloe died a little on the inside along with you when you’d return home from dates and tell her you only got a kiss on the cheek or a hug. Jungkook was shy, you understood that, but you were dying to kiss the boy and if he didn’t make a move soon, you were gonna have to do it. So, you hoped today would be the day he’d finally kiss you. Though, you wish it would happen after you hung out with your friends.

“I wanted you here when I make my final post…”

“Final post?” You asked confusedly as you saw Jungkook type away on his phone.

“Yeah… on my blog…”

“On Golden? I thought your last post was in December before the final…”

“Yeah… but today is my last day as a freshman… I feel like the blog summed up my freshman year and I kinda wanna say a proper farewell with a last post…”

“So… this is goodbye to Golden?” You asked. “Forever?”

Jungkook just grinned at you as he hit a button on his phone and put it away. You just took this as confirmation and gave him a soft smile. It was a bittersweet feeling. It was because of creative writing and his blog that you were with him today. But was it…? Would you still have fallen for Jungkook even if Golden didn’t exist? You stared at him momentarily, remembering the previous semester where you got to know him as Jungkook, and immediately knew your answer.

“Okay, babe, can we go now?” You took his hand in yours again and tried to drag him away from the area. However, he didn’t budge as he pulled you back towards him, causing you to be even more confused and getting a bit irritated. “Jungkook-“

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t do this until I officially got rid of Golden…”

“Do what-“

Immediately, you were cut off as he tilted your head up by your chin with his free hand. Your palms immediately became sweaty from nerves as he smiled gently at you. This was it. The kiss you had been dying to receive from the guy for months. Hell, you wanted to kiss him way before you admitted your feelings to him. Your eyes crossed as you tried to look at him and his face – his lips – that were slowly inching closer to your own. Finally, as if time decided to now catch up to the both of you, you felt his lips carefully graze across your own. It only took you a few seconds to adjust to the feeling and ultimately decide you liked it enough to continue. Just as you freed your hand from his grip to wrap your arms around his neck – his arms around your waist – a simple ding was heard coming from your phone. However, it went ignored as you both knew what it meant.

GoldenRecs: It’s Graduation Day! Congrats to my best friends Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin, and Hoseok on your life achievement! As I enter my sophomore year, I won’t forgot everything you guys taught me as a freshman. I hope to continue to learn new things from Jimin and Taehyung as they enter their senior year. This week’s recommendation is in dedication to my friends and serves as my last post. This journey may be over, but it’ll never be forgotten.

– Golden

The End

A/N: Thank you so very much to everyone who has stuck with me for the past five years it took me to finish the story. I started this in December 2015 and what was supposed to be a one-shot or drabble, turned into a 14-chapter popular story. I appreciate you all so very much for following me along this journey. I know I’ve lost and gained readers along the way and I appreciate everyone so much. This story meant so much to me. To see it finally end, I teared up. I’d like to personally thank @ninetynine-dreams for giving me the courage I needed to continue writing it and help me out on parts I got stuck on. This won’t be my last BTS fanfic. Eventually, I’ll start another one haha. Thank you all again and I really look forward to reading your thoughts about the overall story! Bye~

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daesungfmd · 4 years

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hwang daesung + instagram!

headcanon 4 / wc: 1194

as an esfp, daesung desperately needs social interaction. leaving him alone for long periods of time is a recipe for disaster, but given his occupation and the types of people in his life, it isn’t always possible to meet up with friends whenever he wants to. when all else fails, social media fills the empty spaces. you could argue that he relies a little too heavily on it and—honestly speaking—you would be correct, but daesung will always always always claim that his rs with social media is very healthy :)

having said that, there isn’t a single day that goes by in which he doesn’t post on at least one social media platform. his favorite option is instagram, so he has the largest following on this app out of all of his other personal accounts. even if he doesn’t upload directly to his feed, he’ll usually post a couple things to his story.

he has dms & replies to his stories open to all (because what’s the point of having social media if you’re not going to socialize, right?), so his messages are constantly flooded. when he first opened his personal instagram account, he responded to a lot of dms, but was told by gold star that he needed to keep all interactions with fans public, so he.... stopped? lmao, no he didn’t. he just cut down drastically.

more because of his messages getting out of hand than the company telling him not to reply, honestly. like... he cares about what the company says, sure, but he also doesn’t see the harm in talking to fans, being personable, making ‘em happy.

but! they’re still open, anyway, and he tries to read absolutely everything he gets even if he can’t respond. when he’s feeling lonely at night, he likes to open up instagram and start reading through his dms <3 kinda pathetic but it’s a lonely life <3

he follows a relatively large amount of people taking the fact that he’s an idol into consideration. first of all, he follows all official gold star group accounts, the other impulse members, and all labelmates that he considers himself to be friends with. outside of that, he follows friends that he has from other companies, but only male-presenting friends because he doesn’t want gold star’s pr people to get onto him. follows his male-presenting non-celeb friends, as well. some actors that he likes, some indie musicians that he likes, then the rest are meme pages and pet pages.

as far as content goes, he mainly uploads photos and videos of himself to his feed. the biggest chunk of it is just selfies, candid pics taken by his friends & behind the scenes snapshots taken during promotions/filming, but it’s not uncommon for him to upload a little video of himself singing and/or playing his guitar. sings a lot of old ass songs like long lost memories loom beyond the window by sanullim (1980), to you again by byun jinseob (1989), with the heart to forget you by kim kwangseok (1992), on the street by kim kwangseok (1993), what can i say by the breeze (2010), etc. i imagine a lot of his fans probably don’t know the songs, so they usually don’t get as much interaction as the rest of his posts but That’s Okay! he just likes to sing for fun <333 he does it for himself.

other than that... he posts pictures of his pets semi-regularly (as of dec. 2020, he has two rats and a dog), every now and then he’ll post a video of himself doing some skateboard tricks, and verrrrry very rarely he might post a pic of another impulse member???

pretty meme-y irl, but tries to look charismatic / “sexy” on instagram for the lols. doesn’t always do this, but fans have grown accustomed to pictures of him with half-buttoned shirts, head leaned back to show off his neck, tongue stuck out. lowkey they clown him a lot for some of the selfies he uploads, but he sees them going crazy on stan twitter so he can deal w it. anything for some extra attention!

doesn’t always think before posting, so sometimes he’ll stare at a selfie for a little too long and realize he looks dumb (in his head, of course) and delete it. happens more often than you’d think, so a lot of fans claim that his instagram content is limited time only. better turn your notifications on if you wanna make the best of it!

uses the story function to share little pieces of his day. sometimes it’s just a “good morning” message, sometimes it’s a picture of the sky wherever he’s at, sometimes it’s a video of him skateboarding, sometimes it’s a mirror selfie with whatever song he’s into atm attached, sometimes it’s a pic of certain points in his outfit that he wants to show off (like the painted nail in the middle image above, lmao). can be anything, though; he just likes to keep something in his story at all times so that his fans have a little piece of him to keep them company. doesn’t hurt that sharing his life with the internet like this helps him to feel a little bit less alone, as well.

likes to mess around with filters in his stories, has a habit of doing this when he’s tipsy/drunk. when you see a sequence of 25 selfies that all look pretty much the same, just with different filters, you know that daesung’s been drinking.

one time when he was drunk, he uploaded a selfie to his story and tagged jennifer aniston in it for literally no reason. fans will never let him live this one down.

sometimes he uses stories to interact with fans when he can’t sleep. he’ll ask something like “what’s a good movie to watch when you’re feeling sentimental?” at three in the morning, and 200+ messages just telling him to go to sleep come in. will then post a small vid of himself saying, “you’re all telling me to go to sleep...... i didn’t ask what i should do. i asked for movie recommendations!! answer the question and i’ll go to sleep :)” and then half an hour later, follows up with another video saying “actually i’m not going to sleep!!!! i’m watching shrek now haha”

aka he acts like they’re his friends. WAY too comfortable on his instagram account, but shockingly hasn’t posted anything bad enough to cause a controversy yet.

he does weekly/bi-weekly friday evening livestreams (depending on how busy he is/how he’s feeling) where he spends between an hour and an hour and a half talking with fans and playing guitar/singing for them. i’ll do a separate headcanon about these streams later on because it will undoubtedly take too long to share all my thoughts in this post, but! they were pretty popular when he first started doing them about a year and a half ago (as of dec. 2020), but once fans realized that he sings pretty much the same songs every time, half of them stopped tuning in which is..... fair.

he just loves instagram so much. it’s his comfort app.

#𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆. headcanon.#𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆. instagram.#daesung: good morning :)#also daesung: has his eyebrows done and eye makeup on #he wakes up like this <333 #anyway daesung's just obsessed w instagram. that's the moral of the story #will prob do this for taewoong tomorrow

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cryysiswritesthings · 4 years

Text

A Summer of Lifetimes | Week 1: Heat Wave

Fandom: Inuyasha Rating: PG Warning: N/A Prompt: Heat Wave

Find it on: Tumblr |AO3

Collections: Sparks Fly in July Tumblr Tags: #kogkag #inuyasha #a summer of lifetimes #sparks fly in july #kogkag event 2020 #prompt: heat wave

Salty air and a cool ocean breeze. The perfect thing to battle all of the unbearable heat.

"Kagome, come on!"

Turning towards her friends, Kagome's smile was bright as she ran after them.

The sand was hot under her feet, but she ignored it and instead helped Sango put up the tent canopy. Yuka made sure the fitted sheet they'd brought with them was caught on each corner, creating the perfect square to help keep off most of the sand. Eri was setting out their towels and other belongings, and Ayumi set both of their coolers on the sheet. Working together, the five girls had their space set up in just a few minutes, and they couldn't suppress a cheer at their success.

"This is gonna be great! Now we just have to get a picture, and then we can hit water!"

While Yuka and Eri ran off to find someone willing to help them, Kagome dug in her beach bag to find her tripod and camera. With her degree in photography, the girls all agreed to use their phones when they wanted quick pics for social media, but for all the good stuff they used her camera.

It looked like the two girls had found someone, so she hurried to finish setting up the tripod. She wasn't planning on using it a lot today, but it never hurt to have around just in case.

"Guys, we found someone!" Eri called, dragging some poor kid behind her. He couldn't have been more than 14, and judging by the blush on his face, had probably only agreed because he thought Yuka was pretty.

Kagome shared a quick look with Sango, and the two struggled not to laugh. Leave it to Eri to get all the attention.

"Thanks so much, we appreciate it!" Ayumi bounced to her feet, her sunny smile sending the poor boy into a nervous stutter. Deciding to have some sympathy for the kid, Kagome picked up her phone and set it to camera mode before handing it to him. The red head smiled, fiddling with the controls a bit while the five of them got into position.

"Okay, we're ready!" Ayumi's cheer was infectious, and the girls all huddled close, a tangle of limbs, dark hair and excited smiles.

The boy looked a little confused, not sure if they were serious or not, but he'd snapped a few candid shots while they were setting up. If this was how they wanted to stand though... "Are you sure?"

"Yep! Go ahead and snap it!"

Shaking his head but not about to argue, he gave them another moment to settle. "Say beach day!"

"Beach day!"

Their laughter at his silly joke made the picture perfect, and he took a few more candid shots as the girls untangled themselves. More than one managed to fall over in the sand, and he held the phone out to its owner as she came over.

"I took some other pictures of you guys too. I-is that okay?"

"You did?" Curious, Kagome flipped through the photos and laughed. "These are amazing! Thank you so much."

The red head flushed at the praise, preening at the attention. "No problem! If you guys want me to take anymore, my grandma and I are right over there." He pointed out their spot on the beach, waving at the old woman excitedly.

Laughing, Kagome waved hello as well and turned back to the boy. "I'll definitely keep it in mind. What's your name?"

"My name's Shippo!"

"Pleasure to meet you, Shippo. I'm Kagome, and these are my friends Eri, Yuka, Sango, and Ayumi," she told him, pointing to each of her friends as she named them. "We'll be here for a while today, so if you want to come play we'd be happy to have you."

The younger boy couldn't have looked more excited if he tried. "Really? You mean it?"

"Absolutely!"

"That's awesome!" The old woman called his name, dragging Shippo's attention away. "I have to go now, but I'll find you later, okay?"

"We'll be waiting." Kagome waved goodbye as he ran off, and finally looked back to her own friends who were fiddling with her camera. "Hey! Be nice to my equipment!"

"We are, don't worry!" Yuka looked up from over Sango's shoulder. "Sango's the only one whose touched it."

Only mildly reassured, Kagome went to reclaim her camera. Sango had taken the same basic photography classes as her, so she at least knew what she was doing. That wouldn't stop the others from messing with things though.

The athletic woman grinned at her, placing the camera in its spot on the stand. “I got everything set up for you. We said we wanted to try some of those jump shots, right?”

A chorus of ‘yes yes yes’ answered her question, and Kagome shook her head at Sango’s delighted laugh. The things she did for these girls, honestly.

“Fine, get over there while I double check.” The four scurried away, and Kagome took a moment to check the lighting and set the timer. Once the flash started, it would take a series of shots, letting her choose the best of the bunch.

It didn’t take long to get the pictures they wanted, and at Kagome’s word the four of them took off like a shot to the water. Laughing under breath, the photographer searched up and down the shore. This beach was known for its waves, and if she was lucky, she might be able to take some shots of someone trying to surf.

It looked like there were some surfers a ways down, so she made sure to yell out to her friends where she’d be going. The last thing she needed was them scouring the beach for her and potentially screwing up a shot.

That’s not really fair though, Kagome thought to herself, heading towards her goal. I’d be upset with them too if they just up and disappeared without telling me.

Ever since Ayumi’s scare at the club a few months ago, all of them had gotten into the habit of checking in on each other in public. Out here on the beach, where anyone in the distance looked like just another spec of sand, it was doubly important.

Shaking her head loose of those disturbing thoughts, Kagome came to a stop when she reached a nice, unobtrusive distance. She wanted to take a few practice shots to correct the settings on her camera. Then when they came ashore after she’d gotten a few, she’d ask them about using the images in her gallery if they came out well enough.

The glaring sun gave enough light that she didn’t need her flash, but it did make her wish she’d remembered to grab her sun hat. She’d put on some sunscreen as soon as she and the others had gotten out of the car though, so at least there was that. Now she just had to hope she didn’t sweat it all off.

The coming of a larger swell set the small group of surfers cheering, each egging the other on. But it was the one with long black hair who swam forward, so he was who she focused her camera on.

He moved like he was born for it. He had no trouble catching his balance on the board, grin wide as his hand reached out to break a path through the wall of water. He matched the highs and lows of the wave until it broke, and his back smacked the surface of the water when he finally came to a stop.

Kagome winced in sympathy, but she laughed along with the others. She’d heard that smack from here, there was no way it hadn’t hurt. But he’d done it to himself, so it was really his own fault.

The surfer came spluttering up for air, and as the next wave rose, another took his place.

She wasn’t really sure how long she’d sat there for, taking more and more pictures as time went on. So focused on whichever surfer happened to be catching the wave at the time, she didn’t notice the attention the group of men had started giving her. They playfully shoved at each other, attempting to convince one of their own to start a conversation with the bikini clad photographer.

But again, the one to take the lead was the long haired male, swimming to shore and heading in her direction. Kagome flipped through the images on her camera, deleting a few shots that had come out blurrier than intended. She had no idea she was even being approached until a shadow blocked her light.

Looking up in surprise, she felt a bright flush heat her cheeks. Her favorite of the bunch so far, he was a good head taller than she was, dark hair tied in a high pony tail and eyes as blue as the sky behind him. She couldn’t tell if the warm color of his skin was natural, or if so much time in the sun had left him permanently dark.

“So,” even his voice reminded her of the beach, waves lapping at wet sand, “are you gonna introduce yourself, or just keep taking pictures and leave us hanging?”

Blustering, she jumped up to stand, only just catching herself from falling face first in the sand. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude! I was only taking some candid shots on the beach when I saw you and your friends--”

“Whoa, easy,” he laughed, the hand not holding up his board raising defensively. “I’m not complaining, neither are the others. We just didn’t know what exactly you were doing. Well,” was she seeing things, or had he just blushed? “Aside from taking pictures, I mean. You’d been at it for a while, so I thought I’d come see what was up.” He seemed to regain his composure, because he smirked. “My name’s Kouga.”

“Kagome,” she returned easily, feeling playful and at ease even as she eyed him suspiciously. “Do you always let people you don’t know take pictures of you?”

Kouga, as she now knew him, grinned. “As long as they’re as pretty as you, I’ve got no reason to complain.”

Her laugh was bright and surprised. “That has got to be one of the worst pick up lines I’ve ever heard.”

“Stick around for a while, I’ve got plenty more.”

While she snickered, he took the moment to clear his throat. “So, did you want to?”

Not bothering to hide her amused smile, she quirked a brow. “Did I want to what?”

“Stick around for a while.” He tilted his head briefly, using it to point in the direction of his friends who were coming back to the shore. “We’re gonna take a break, have a few beers. You can come sit with us if you want? Show off the pictures you took.”

Looking behind her, Kagome found her group of friends in the far distance. They were still out in the water, and it looked like Shippo had joined in on their fun. He was splashing Sango in the face with water, and she was using the other girls as laughing bodyguards. They looked like they were having fun. She should probably be getting back to them.

But��

Kouga’s eyes, the same color as the sky, flashed in her mind. Something told her this wasn’t an opportunity to let go of.

Turning back to the taller male, she smiled. “Sure. Why not?”

His answering grin outshone the sun.

#kogkag #inuyasha #a summer of lifetimes #sparks fly in july #kogkag event 2020 #prompt: heat wave

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silkkpopbonnet · 5 years

Text

7 Nights of Monsta X

This is a tentative run, please let me know what you think of this intro and what’s going on so far. I try to make them as different and believable as possible!

“No woman is going to willingly have sex with you,” Wonho laughed drunkenly. “You’ve never even had sex before!”

I.M. nervously moved around in his chair. “I have!”

Kihyun chuckled from his position on a bean bag on the floor, half falling asleep with the empty soju bottle in his hand. “When? That’s what I want to know.”

I.M.’s cheeks flushed red as he nursed his own glass. His hyungs were drunk and teasing him that was all. Dropping his head a bit he mumbled, and looked around the room. “I don’t do everything with you guys! You don’t know!”

“Leave him alone,” Shownu sat back on the couch, his wide, muscular shoulders taking up the little space between him and Wonho. “Changkyun is a baby.”

“A baby!” I.M. stood up angrily. “I’m 23 goddamn years old! How is that a baby! Fuck that! I’m a man!”

Minhyuk rolled onto the floor. “Don’t upset the baby guys, daddy Shownu won’t like it.”

“Let’s just settle this,” Hyungwon shifted on his feet. “I’m going to call a woman of the night.”

Wonho patted his red cheeks. “An escort?”

“That’s what I said,” Teetering to one side, Hyungwon grabbed his laptop and sat down next to Kihyun and Jooheon who was currently sleeping. “Let’s see what the internet can do for us.”

“Miracles.” Minhyuk shuffled closer, resting his chin on Kihyun’s shoulder as they watched Hyungwon.

“Look at this website, you can look at escorts and order them-”

“Order?” Shownu sat up slowly. “That sounds rude, this isn’t like ordering food.”

“We can eat her.” Minhyuk chuckled.

“Eat who?” Jooheon woke up slowly, wiping the drool from his chin. “We ordering food?”

“No,” Wonho positioned his fist under his chin. “Hyungwon is looking for an escort.”

Jooheon rubbed his eyes. “For who? Me? You’re too kind.”

“If we play this right,” Hyungwon clicked through a few ads. “All of us. Why spend more money than what is needed?”

“Shouldn’t she be for I.M.?” Kihyun and Minhyuk looked at each other before bursting into giggles.

“Do it!” I.M. crossed his arms over his chest, sitting back in his chair. “I’ll show you, I know plenty, she’ll love me and I’ll ruin her for the rest of you.”

The room was silent for awhile, the furious clicking and clacking of Hyungwon’s fingers across the keyboard, the only sound in the room.

“Done,” Hyungwon announced, as he sat back and looked at the range of women’s profiles before them. “Now, what type of woman are we looking for?”

“We aren’t actually doing this are we? Not tonight, come on guys.” Shownu ever the voice of reason tried to pipe up before things got out of control.

“See if someone likes thigh riding, blindfolds and toys.” Wonho tapped his fingers together, as the rest of the guys looked at him with stunned expressions. “What? I like that.”

Minhyuk tapped Hyungwon on the shoulder. “Can she be tall? Slim but a nice round ass, if she likes face fucking that’s a plus.”

“Nasty bastards,” Kihyun shook his head. “All of you, I can’t believe I call you my members and these are the kinks you’re into.”

Wonho shrugged, he didn’t care what anyone thought of him, that much was evident.

“But since we’re taking note of these things.” Kihyun chuckled. “Dark hair and soft eyes, I also like choking and to be choked.”

“My god,” Shownu covered his mouth as he laughed. “I knew you were going to say some freaky shit. I don’t care what she’s into, but pretty and sweet.”

“Well?” Hyungwon looked at the remaining three. “Anything specific?”

“Does it let you filter or something?” Jooheon pulled on the edge of the laptop to see better. “Not too pale, I don’t want to feel like I’m fucking a vampire. She has to have some color to her. Maybe a little voyeurism and role play?”

“What about you Hyungwon-hyung?” I.M. kept his mouth shut as he looked at blonde haired singer.

“I’ll keep my preferences quiet for now.”

“What?” Jooheon and Kihyun exclaimed. “Come on you heard all of ours.”

“Yes, well this is going on my credit card so I can do what I want.” Scanning through a few women, Hyungwon stopped on one that made him do a double take. “Her.”

“Oh yea,” Normally quiet Shownu was on the floor now, staring at the woman on the computer screen.

“Does she have more pictures?” Wonho was crowding the rest of the guys now.

Flicking through a few pictures appreciative hums flowed through the group as they commented on the woman before their eyes.

“I like her.” I.M. smiled.

Shownu nodded. “She seems nice and sweet.”

“I’m gonna find out.” Jooheon chuckled, earning a high five from Kihyun.

A few keystrokes later, Hyungwon closed his laptop and picked up his phone. “When she texts me, I will add all of us to the group chat with her, fair? Until then, I’m going to bed, I’m drunk.”

“She’s not coming tonight?” Wonho stumbled up from the floor as well.

“No, tomorrow night was the soonest she had, which gives us time to sober up and cancel just in case. I’m not gonna vomit on her.”

With that he bid his goodnight and walked into his room closing the door gently behind him.

“He better not cancel.” Jooheon fell to one side before getting up. “He’s right though, I can barely stand, goodnight.”

As the rest of the members made their way to their rooms, Shownu stood in front of I.M. clasping his shoulder gently.

“If they decide to go through with this, don’t feel pressured to do anything that you don’t want to.” He squatted in front of a still sitting I.M. “Hear me?”

“Yes, hyung,” I.M. squared his shoulders. “They just get to me sometimes you know.”

“I know,” Standing up Shownu brought the maknae with him. “Don’t take it to heart.”

“I won’t.”

Nodding his head, Shownu disappeared into his shared room with Jooheon.

Cleaning up the bottles, and cups around the room, I.M. bit his lip thinking about the woman that Hyungwon had messaged. He was going to embarrass himself, he knew it. He tried to look big in front of his hyungs but he was a virgin. Not that there was anything wrong with that! He was proud to have made it this long, of course he’d fingered a few girls and had his dick sucked, but nothing as far as actually having sex. Sighing, he resigned himself to another night of jerking off before heading to bed. Maybe that would relieve some stress.

Alexis Andrews was bored, and for her that was a sin on a Friday night. The nightlife of Seoul was steadily calling her, but something about bouncing from club to club just wasn’t doing it for her right now. Sure, her friends had called and texted and facetimed her, but the buttery bowl of popcorn in front of her was more appealing. That and this Chinese drama she just started was getting interesting. The Emperor’s wife was passing her infant son as his, but he was the child of his best General. Shit was about to get real. Pushing more of the buttery treat into her mouth, Alexis rolled her eyes as her phone chimed again. What did they want now? The notification from the website, startled her. Since moving to Seoul, she had some good traffic and plenty of dates with rich men seeking to get that “foreign” kick out of their system. She even had a regular, he was the one who put her into this fancy high-rise apartment. She was damn near his mistress if she was going to play her cards right. Either way, she smiled at the picture of a young man with blonde hair and thick lips. He was cute, more than that, he was downright fine. Opening the application, she browsed through what he was looking for and wanted.

He was a picky one, wanted a lot too and she was curious as to what level of pervert he was when she saw his last message that he needed someone who was ok with being with six other men.

“Fuck that,” Alexis was about to delete it when she saw the rest of their faces. They looked familiar but she didn’t care enough to see why. They were all incredibly attractive. “K-pop boys?” She wondered out loud to herself, as she flicked back and forth through the three pics he had sent. One of all seven of them. Then split into groups of 3, with the one who applied having sent one pic of himself.

“Hyungwon.” She said and smiled. His lips were definitely his best feature.

Reading the application again, Alexis was trying to decide what to do. “She didn’t do group sex. No trains were going to be ran on her, she was an escort not a $20 prostitute. Instantly, she chided herself, sex work was sex work. No need to shame someone else, but she did have limits and this was one of them.

He had left his number, which was the mark of a serious man and his billing information was in the system for easier access. Ok, so he wasn’t some tool and had an idea of how this worked.

Sighing, she pressed his number and looked at the time. Maybe he was still awake.

“Hello?” Who Alexis assumed was Hyungwon answered sleepily.

“Hi, this is Alexis, you messaged me.”

When it remained quiet, she clarified. “The escort.”

“Yes,” Hyungwon answered excitedly. “Hold please?”

His English was good but she could tell he might have a hard time understanding her. Her Korean was still baby-ish but enough that she could hold a conversation as long as someone didn’t speak fast. Either way, she listened to the shuffling, doors opening and closing as Hyungwon began to speak to someone else.

“Hello? This is I.M.”

“Yea,” She smiled at this voice and wondered who he was in the picture. “This is Alexis, Hyungwon messaged me, the escort.”

“Hello, he’s making sure we don’t mess up. I’m sorry about that.” She could tell he was smiling.

“No, it’s fine, my Korean is patchy, but I do well enough. So, I wanted to tell you guys I don’t do group things. I’m interested but not with all seven of you at the same time.”

She waited while I.M. explained this to Hyungwon.

“I’m sorry, he didn’t mean to make it seem that way. It’s one on one,” I.M. got quiet. “Some may want a threesome, two and you. He isn’t sure.”

“That’s fine,” Alexis chuckled. “I can handle that, I’ll let you guys get back to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I.M. and Hyungwon answered at the same time. “Goodnight, Alexis.”

“Goodnight, fellas.”

Hanging up, Alexis stretched as she got up from the couch. “Seven guys, Hyungwon and I.M.” She was instantly attracted to I.M.’s voice, the rich sound of it and the way he pronounced his words. Hyungwon had a good voice as well but it was his picture the way he stared at the camera that made her womb lurch inside of her.

Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day for sure.

Pre-Game

#monsta x #7 nights is back #7 nights of monsta x #hyungwon #I.M.#shownu #kihyun #minhyuk #wonho #jooheon

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bangtansmutcentral · 5 years

Text

[Please Read]

We would like to start off by apologising to our members and followers for making you have to witness this. It is in our opinion totally unnecessary, but since we’re getting these asks we need to address them.

We would like to say that whoever is sending these could have acted like an adult and contacted us privately and expressed their concerns. We were never hostile or unapproachable so we don’t understand why hide behind an anonymous ask. Either way, it is done.

Since I (admin sue) started working on the network alone, before inviting my friends to join, I’ll be speaking for the 3 of us.

After getting theses asks we didn’t know what to make of them, because we literally didn’t know what they were talking about, but after going to said network to see if something was going on, we saw a post, that didn’t mention any networks, talking about stealing content, not having their own ideas, taking advantage of what they’ve worked so hard to accomplish and we did NOT think it was about us, since we NEVER stole anything. But it is obvious, after getting these asks, that they are talking about us.

For what I understand, ---net, is a writers network that work and share smut content. Our network was made to gather and share ALL KINDS of posts. You can see that if you go on our application form and find the following:

We never intended to be a writers only net. We have writers of course and it is a big part of what we share but we are definitely not a writers network and as we grow, we hope to make the net even more diverse.

I’m from the side of tumblr that is more visual, and I saw most pages I followed close due to the policy changes on tumblr and because of that, what is left in smut is mostly writing. That is why we have more writers than other creators, but we are not a writers club or writers network. We will hopefully encourage people to get out of their comfort zone and try new things and express themselves in different ways, other than writing, while of course keeping and giving the deserved space writing has.

I’ve been blogging for 2 years now and my personal blog has over 26k followers. I’m not saying this to brag, that is definitely the last thing I want to do, but I want to show you that I’m not after a following or attention at any cost. Of course we want to see whatever we create succeeding, but we’re not in this to steal anything from anyone, generate hate or compete.

The network was made because I wanted a new project that would bring all smut content to one place. I miss having this diversity of content on my feed and wanted to create something I would enjoy as well as help other people come together since nowadays it’s harder to do that here. Plus, having my friends join me on this made it a very special and fun idea.

We never owned any networks, or were a part of them in any way. My page for example is more visual contente than written, so I didn’t even know of these writers networks. To see how this is true, I went on my blog and asked smut creators to get in touch with me for a new project, then searched for some smut blogs and messaged them one by one asking if they would be up for a net because I didn’t even know if anyone would be interested, let alone, think that there was already one! Even though we know all the networks for sharing pics and gifs, smut networks were something we never knew existed (and now, seeing that they do exist, I think that there is space for all of us, in our own way). Here is how I went about it:

I even messaged one of the ----net admins, as a creator (without knowing that she had a net), asking if she wanted to join us, and that’s when we found out they existed! She even told us that they already used ‘---’ and I apologised and changed our visual identity completely so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings. I changed our #, header, icon, everything. I just didn’t change the name because we would have to create a blog from scratch and we already had started promoting the page everywhere. The name was created randomly, if we knew there was a net with a similar name of course we would want something completely different because we don’t need to feed off of other blogs success or image. We are just not that kind of people. We want to start small and slowly learn about our members, our followers and what content is best and how to navigate the net. At the time I didn’t even give it much importance since it was just a name… for me personally it wasn’t something worthy of a fight. But apologised and changed everything else as soon as I could. Is that me being unfriendly and rude? Is that the behaviour of someone that wants to steal something from anyone? ‘

When I started setting up the blog (after changing the items), I din’t know the first thing about a net, or anyone that I could ask about it, so I just went around all networks I could find (---net included) to see how a network works basically. I found out that the rules are basically the same, the application forms as well and the aim of all of them is to share creators content. We didn’t think we were stealing anything by making similar rules to everyone. I personally wouldn’t mind if someone took inspiration from my page or even copy-pasted word by word of my rules pages for ex. For me, it is not stealing content, it’s just rules... I wouldn’t mind at all, but of course that is personal.

The 3 of us are finishing our masters degree, so we see tumblr as a hobby. We have the utmost respect for everyone and everyone’s work but it is just our hobby. One of us is in her exam period, the other finishing her thesis, I’m having my mom over for summer so we wouldn’t have time to keep the blog running if we didn’t queue posts, and since we’re 3 admins, 3 posts are ideal (one for each) and of course alphabetically through our members because that’s common sense.

This was mostly so in this busy month the blog wouldn’t die. We didn’t think that that would cause such a problem. If this net is really talking about us, they could have reached us and talked to us in private without causing such a commotion. We were never hostile to anyone, never offended anyone in anyway so we don’t understand why they did things the way they did, but then again we are all different people. If what bothers you anon, (and assuming you’re associated with the net some way) is that our acceptance post has similar rules (because that’s the only thing we’ve put out so far, so you must be talking about that… we’re a few days old… we literally have done nothing yet), you could have reached us and said so and we would have gladly changed it. It would however remain very similar, since we share mostly the same kind of content and every network has pretty much the same acceptance rules. Also a members page, a navi page, a tag system.. how did we copy you on that? That’s how all the networks I saw work! And how did all nets start? Didn’t they start by looking at other nets to see how this ’network thing’ works and basically start the same as them, since the rules are all the same, and then find their own place and change things over time? Someone said that it is disheartening to see others gain from what they’ve worked hard to create. What have we gained? How have we used their creations to gain anything? Because we’re queuing posts? We can change the way we worded that, but we will keep queuing from our members because we don’t have time at the moment to keep the blog going otherwise.

The disclaimers are similar? But of course they are! We hope people have common sense but some things are triggering and must be advised against. I myself for example, have some triggers that I don’t want in my net!

We really don’t believe that this is aimed at us, it really can’t be, because we have an acceptance post out so far and nothing else. The rest is just the normal things every net has as I said before, so if this is all a misunderstanding and since no one from the net reached us, we would like to apologise if their post was directed at someone else.

Lastly I’d like to say a few things:

We wanted a page with a variety of content, a variety of individuals, have thought of ways to encourage visual creativity and fun stuff to do in the future. We wanted to create a feed that we missed having. We just wanted to have fun and meet new people.

We find this absolutely unnecessary. People have better things to do than to be reading these long arguments. We are a small page that wanted to do something for us and for the people that choose to follow us. Most importantly, we didn’t mean any harm. We can see that ---net has a very beautiful page and I’m sure full of talented people and it was NEVER out intention to copy or disrespect anyone. As I said before we are not a writers club so we won’t be as similar as it might seem. We are as similar as all networks within the same genre are.

We think that if this was aimed at us, it could have been dealt with privately. We are not animals that can’t be talked to, we were and always will be open to learn and grow with everyone and apologise if we hurt anyone even if not intentionally. But since it started publicly and without us even knowing, and now getting all this hate, it’s only fitting that it ends publicly as well. We will not be addressing this anymore. We are only a few days old but already cherish our members and followers very much. With that being said, if you are a member of ---net and feel like you shouldn’t follow us or be a member, for believing that we did something we didn’t do, you are free to leave us. Though it pains us, we understand that trust is earned and being with a net for so long and then seeing these accusations, you can only think the worst of us, so we won’t make it hard or awkward for you if you want to leave. I actually considered deleting the network because this is causing way too much anxiety that I personally don’t need in my life right now, but my dear friends and admins here talked me out of it because we didn’t do anything wrong. Through all theses years here, I NEVER disrespected anyone, my page was NEVER involved in anything bad and we only spread love, positivity and have fun, so thinking that someone can think such bad things of me is almost unbearable.

ps. English is only my 3rd language so please excuse any mistakes such a long post might contain.

Admin sue

In name of Bangtan Smut Central Netwok.

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