#gonna add a link to this in my pinned for easy access

[mochitoaster]

This is a little info post.

I am selenophobic, which means I have an intense, irrational fear of the moon. This is partly induced by psychosis.

I have had far more panic attacks than I can count just from using my tumblr dashboard.

Please, if you are my mutual, consider tagging #selenophobia #moon #mochi dont look or #no mochi

(If you tag the third one, make sure there isn’t an apostrophe, as it glitches and shows the post anyway.)

This fear applies to drawings, cartoon designs, photos, icons, and text. Pretty much anything that you would think, “Is this a trigger?” the answer is yes.

Eclipses are included in this. The shadow of the moon is just as terrifying as being able to see it.

In short, please consider making my dash a little safer for me to use <3 thank you!

[sakurarisen]

So just as a heads up, after thinking about it and mulling it over with @waltzofphoenix and @yoroiis, I've gone and done a mini blog update to add a new section to my rules and added a link to it in my pinned: Divergences From Canon.

It's pretty much what it says on the tin: a list of where my blog's canon diverges from series canon, for any of the series I write in! I figured it was easier to collect it all in one place, on one page, and make it simple to find for anyone curious about the few divergencies I (and Knight and Kasa, by extension) have running here. I do try and follow canon where I can, but there's some things - like Sera being Zack's girlfriend/fiance during Crisis Core, Shayan's own genetic 'modifications', Sera's ties to Snezhnaya in GI... - that are actually kind of important to how I write my blog's canon, and I wanted them in an easily accessible place.

These are divergencies that can and in some cases will change, though! With GI being an ongoing game seeing frequent updates and new plot and Remake's second game coming soon, there's definitely going to be some edits, be they to work out new details or to tweak and such old ones, and when things are updated there I'll make a new update post to match! This is also a change that's gonna be implemented across all my blogs as I work on them too - Just wanting to keep info up to date, easy to read, and easy to find! <3

~Pom

[bird-pokemon-showdown]

only a few more days until the bird pokemon tournament begins!! i’m super excited to see how this goes.

here’s some extra information/FAQs about the competition:

when does this actually start?

the tournament officially starts on june 11th at 4 pm est!

why are you starting earlier than you said before?

i’m impatient

how will tags/rounds/organization work?

once they go up, i’ll have them tagged with round and pokemon name. i’ll also add linked tags to the pinned post for easy access! each section will last a week, and each week will have 8 matches. you should also be able to search the pokemon name in tumblr to see their status (if tumblr permits it)

how many people are working on this?

it’s just me in here!

who are you?

i run the @good-pokemon-center-reviews blog!

is propaganda allowed?

i don’t think i’m going to post propaganda through asks unless like people want it. feel free to reblog the actual matchups with it though!

edit: i will Perhaps allow it but of course i ask that everyone be kind in their propaganda! and i may not publish all of it if it’s like super overwhelming but i’m gonna try my best

how long is this thing going to take?

idk

why wasn’t [pokemon] included?

i didn’t want to go above a 96 competitor bracket, so “there wasn’t enough room” is the answer for 90% of these questions. some pokemon also just weren’t really Bird enough to qualify!

why was [pokemon] included but [pokemon] wasn’t?

i’ll keep this updated if i get any more questions. above all please remember that this is just for fun! don’t be mean to anyone or the competitors because every pokemon is someone’s favorite!

i’ve never done anything like this before so it’ll be a (hopefully enjoyable) learning experience for me! i really hope everyone will have a good time :)

[citrineghost]

Struggling to stay organized because you have ADHD?

Well, I have a fantastic solution for you! There’s this bitchin site called Trello and I’m gonna tell you all about it

This is not sponsored, I just really like organization and Trello is awesome. And, as always, no readmore because this is targeted at ADHD people and y’all ain’t gonna click it

[ID: a picture of a website with many columns/lists. Behind the lists, there is a customized background. To the right is a sidebar showing that you can search Unsplash for backgrounds right from the site. Each column/list has a bunch of ‘cards’ on it. The cards each have a title and color coded label(s) /end ID)

Here’s a picture of my to-do board

There are some things blacked out, mostly just my avatar, name, and some original creative stuff I don’t feel like broadcasting.

So, Trello is broken up into different levels of organization. Let’s start with the most important level: boards.

Boards

A board is what’s pictured above. Think of it like a corkboard where you pin your notes. You can make as many of these as you want. You can title them, invite people to them, automate certain parts of them, and more.

On your board, you can make

Lists

Lists are those columns you can see on my board. You can title each list, click and drag them around to reorder them, set them to automatically label the things on them, and so on.

My lists on my to do board are titled with a time period for when I aim to do something. The time periods are large and vague, which makes them great for my ADHD. I can move things between them as I need, which is also great for my ever shifting brain thoughts. 

But! What makes it great is that whatever I put in the left list, titled Next, I know is what I need to be focusing on at the moment. It makes it easier to ignore what’s to the right of it and let’s me relax knowing I won’t just forget everything I’m not prioritizing.

Lists are used for holding

Cards

(ID: A picture of a small window that opens after clicking on a card. It contains the title, the labels (with their names now visible), and a functioning checklist. There is also a place to type a description, a place to add comments, and a list of buttons on the side for managing the card and its place on the board /end ID)

Each card can be as simple as containing just a title (making it a simple entry on your list), or as complicated as housing photos, descriptions, checklists, labels, and comments. You just click the card and it opens the window shown above.

My card is for a tabletop I’m working on, nicknamed TAP. I have it labeled with all of the things pertaining to what it involves (world building, writing, in progress, spreadsheeting, and art/creative). These color coded labels make it easy to see what kind of cards I’m looking at when looking at the overall board and lists.

As I do things on the checklist, I can mark them off. You can even set it to hide completed items on the checklist.

When I’m done with an item on my to do list, I click and drag the card to the Done list (which is offscreen on the far right). If you don’t want a visible Done list, you can also just archive a card and it will disappear from the board.

You can also set due dates on cards, which will notify you when they’re almost due or when the due date arrives.

Customization

One of my favorite things about Trello is that you can customize the appearance of your boards! My ADHD brain can’t stand looking at the same thing constantly, so it’s great that I can change things up. Each board can have its own design too, so you can match the vibes of the board with the appearance.

You can pick from a bunch of solid colors for your board or you can use the connection Trello has with Unsplash to search and select free stock images provided by photographers.

Other Parts of Organization

Not only do you have boards, lists, and cards, you can also make Workspaces, which are basically categories to sort your boards into. If you use Trello for projects, and have a board for each project, you can sort your boards into a Projects workspace.

There is also a function called Butler, which you can use to automate boards. For example, you can set it to automatically create a card called “Pay Rent” at the start of each month.

On the right, in the same sidebar where you can see the background options, there’s also an activity feed, tracking every time a card is moved, commented on, added, archived, and so on.

Team Work

Not only is Trello great for keeping private boards, you can also invite people to them! That makes it incredible for household management, group projects, or even friend groups who feel like storing plans and personalized memes. You can literally use it for whatever you want and in whatever way you want!

ADHD Applications

So, now let’s get down into the specifics of how this is great for people with ADHD.

You can make as many boards, lists, and cards as you want.

This is a big one for me, because I really struggle with websites that limit how much you can do with one account and force you to make multiples and then juggle multiple logins and so on. Start a new project? Make a new board. Follow your heart. Be free. If you end up giving up on it, just delete it, or store it for later. You can Star the boards you actively use and just use the Star list to access the boards you need, so if you star all your active ones and then ignore the unstarred, failed projects, you can leave them to rot or abandon them until the mood strikes again.

You can organize in a way that works for you.

So many organization applications are made to work one way and that can be really difficult to navigate as someone with ADHD. So many people with ADHD have such specific needs in regards to how they organize that it can be really hard to find something that works. Half the time we end up just scrambling around from application to application, cursing them as we go because one has one thing we like, but it doesn’t have the thing this other one has that we like and nothing ever seems to just work.

Trello makes it possible to personalize how you organize and even change how you organize halfway through. I keep my to do list organized in 4 priority levels with the addition of a Pin list and a Done list. You could also:

Keep a list that works as a calendar, with a card for each entry, organized in order of date

Keep a list of reminders where automated weekly/monthly/yearly responsibilities pop up

Jot down reminders as you think of them

Keep lists of school assignments in the order they’re due

Use descriptions and photo uploads on cards to collect information or resources needed for said assignments

Keep lists of information that’s easy to forget or lose track of on paper like address history, work history, references, contact information, and so on (like I’ve done on my ‘Pin’ list)

Use boards for projects, to keep track of things like resources, due dates, meeting times, sending files between classmates or project partners, and so on

Use boards for planning events like weddings, parties, conferences, school dances, or whatever else you’re into

Collect resources, references, or recreational to-dos (like links to fanfiction you want to read)

Literally anything

You can separate everything onto different boards, making everything visible from the titles of cards, or combine it all into one, with lots of information available on a click

The sky’s the limit

You can automate repeat tasks.

ADHD comes with a lot of forgetfulness when it comes to regular tasks, such as weekly appointments, medication reminders, and a yearly charge for your Nintendo membership. You can put that stuff into your calendar, but that can also be tricky because then you have information spread across multiple platforms.

Just as easily, you can set Butler to make new cards with reminders on them.

There’s probably more but I have ADHD and I forgot

Just think of the possibilities!!

I used to get debilitatingly stressed out because I would have 10 things floating around in my head because I was simultaneously trying not to forget them and also stressing about them and I would make what I call “spaghetti lists” where I would list all the things I’m thinking of, just as a way to calm down and know that I won’t forget them, so that my brain could quiet down.

Since starting this board, I haven’t had to do that once because all of the things I’m afraid of forgetting are already listed, even if they’re on the list titled ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ because idk if they’re ever actually gonna happen.

It can be incredibly stressful to see all of your to do items in one place, but since starting this, I have been less stressed overall, because I now know I can find them all in that one place. Learning to manage and cope with the stress of knowing I have a lot to do is easier than forgetting things and then realizing I’m late on something or things just never happening because I never remember them when I’m in a place where I can work on them.

And when you have everything in one place to reference when you have some executive energy, you can suddenly just start doing things. I have them labeled by type so I can go, “I’m in the mood to draw,” and then check all the dark blue labels for creative projects. It makes everything so much easier.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful to some of you, it’s genuinely been life changing for me

[ckret2]

Do you by chance have any advice for people that want to get into RPing but have never really done it before? It looks fun!

yeah here's a few. Note that this is geared specifically toward tumblr RP, not like, D&D or something.

So here's some ✨total beginner advice.✨ Most of this is geared toward How To Maximize The Odds That People Will Want To Give RPing With You A Shot; learning to be good at actual roleplay takes time, as it depends on both writing skill and teamwork, but step 1 is like, not accidentally scaring off people because you don't know local etiquette.

First: if you've got friends who are already RPing go to them first lol. Buddies are more willing to help you figure out the lay of the land and help hold a newb's hand through figuring out what works and what's a faux pas.

If a roleplay blog gets a new follow and/or message from somebody they don't know, the very first thing they're gonna do is click on your name and glance at your blog. Make it easy for people to find the important stuff fast! If your roleplay blog is a sideblog to your main, include a link to your RP blog in a pinned post so it's clearly available. On your roleplay blog, make it quickly obvious what people can expect to find. A description with a deep, meaningful song lyric is no good to someone trying to figure out wtf you offer unless you remember to include "(RP blog for Blorbo from My Show)" at the end of the description.

And following up on "help people find the important stuff fast": you want to actually have some RPing on your blog. After looking at someone's description & pinned post, the next thing they do is scroll down and skim the first few posts to see how you write. Since a new blog obviously doesn't have any roleplay threads somebody can read, I generally suggest that a new blog post a drabble or two in-character, both to help you get a feel for writing your character and to let anyone visiting your blog see how you write.

Lots of RPers add info pages to their RP blog. The most common info pages are a Rules page (most often: who you will/won't interact with, what kinds of plots you will/won't write about, if you tag any specific content) and, secondly, an About page (usually a bio about your character; some are long, they don't need to be). Info pages aren't mandatory, but some RPers are wary of someone who doesn't have one. If you're like "damn I can't think of any rules tho???" you can always say something like "I'm new to RP and don't have rules yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ be nice plz" and some folks will be more forgiving lol.

If you do have info pages, make sure they're easy to access for someone clicking on your blog the first time. These days, usually that means including the links to them in a pinned post, since that's most easily accessible on mobile.

When you want to reach out to somebody, first check their blog to see if they have info pages. If they do, at BARE MINIMUM read their rules page. Respect their rules! If they say "i don't want to roleplay XYZ plot lines" and XYZ plot lines are the only thing you want to roleplay then just leave 'em alone! Most RPers will be miffed if it's clear you haven't read their about page, so it's optional but highly recommended; but reading someone's rules is mandatory courtesy.

The most common thing you'll see RPers say "if they don't have ___ I won't interact with them" over is listing your age. There's a lot of adults who don't want to write with kids and kids who don't want to write with adults. If you're not comfortable listing your age in your bio, that's cool—just be aware that it'll be a trade-off, maintaining privacy means not getting to interact with people who don't want to interact with someone whose age they don't know. If you want to split the difference, some people leave it at "I'm over/under 18" and that's enough to satisfy some people who want to know ages.

Okay so that's my general Getting Into RP new blog setup advice!!! Now here's a list of totally subjective opinions that I offer as sagely advice but that people will disagree with me on because it's mainly a bunch of pet peeves lmfao:

If you're RPing in a fandom instead of with OCs, don't tag the names of the canon characters involved every time you make a new post. It's kinda acceptable for a brand new RP blog if they're still trying to drum up a little attention; but even as borked as tumblr's coding is, there are still people that follow tags to try to find fanart and meta posts and announcements about canon and stuff. If somebody is trying to look for cool posts about barbie dolls they don't want to see five posts in a row from some RP blog like "Anon: hey Ken, are you and Barbie still fighting? Ken: Ugh, yeah it sucks. #barbie #ken #life in the dreamhouse"

Some blogs like to make extremely fancy formatting! Meticulously spaced and aligned text, tiny text, colored text, multiple fonts, fonts they copy/pasted from other sites, etc. But the more fancy your formatting is, the more people it will be inaccessible for. Special characters break or display as boxes on older devices, precisely-spaced margins break in weird places when switching between desktop/mobile devices, weird characters & colors are rough on people with vision impairments, and if somebody's using a screen reader/text-to-speech a lot of the fancy formatting options prevent it from reading out correctly. If you want to not passively inconvenience some of your potential RP partners, keep the formatting simple.

Lots of blogs use icons—little bits of artwork to convey your character's expression/emotions. They're not mandatory! If you think they'll add to your fun then use them. If you don't think they'll add to your fun, don't feel like you've gotta put them in. If you do use icons, don't use somebody's fanart without permission. Notice I didn't even say "without credit"—I said "without permission." Unless they've got some kind of blanket "you can use my art for anything anywhere" statement on their art page, you've got to ASK THEM and GET A YES from them. Lots of people don't do this! You'll find people using fanart icons they got from someone who got it from someone else who got it from someone else who got it from an icon maker that releases icons in 500-image batches! I think it's rude. I don't even have a particularly #aesthetic art style but I'd be irritated if I discovered some RPer I'd never met before using a tiny filtered crop of one of my drawings in the middle of a dozen other tiny filtered crops of other people's drawings.

[sukunasbabymama]

Okie I got the pin post down, know the question is how do I do the links for quick access to my works/ writings

Is easy, everything you want to put on another post you have to copy the link. I’m gonna elaborate.

Take the post you want to put onto the navigation/masterlist or wherever you want to and click there.

After that, you just copy the link.

Then, on the post you want to add that link you highlight what you want to be the link, it can be a word (like we do with the words masterlist/rules/tags) or it can be a whole sentence, or it can be just a letter, it doesn’t matter!

After highlighting what you want, you click on the corner in where it shows a little chain(?) yeah, that means to add link.

Then you paste the link there and voilà! When you see the word with an underline it means that it has the link attached to it. You can copy links from everywhere and its the same; twitter, google, pinterest, tik tok; as long as it has a copy link option you can paste it on here.

When blog owner say their links are broken is because they change their url and the old post has the old link, so when that happens all you need to do is to copy the post again and paste the link. Of course for people with a lot of works posted is tedious so that’s why we think twice before changing the url.

With all and all, it’s really easy, it’s just coping and pasting and all the time wasted is in thinking how the post itself would look cute and stuff.

I’m here if you have more questions my loveeee~

[feather-dancer]

A collection of Recommends

I’ve had a few people have been asking if it’d be possible to make a post with links to my recc lists in one place thus I’m making a collection here that I’m gonna pin on my blog for easy access. Whenever I make a new list I’ll make sure to add it to this post as well.

As an added bonus this is indeed a shameless excuse to promo my own fics too, just because~

This pin was last updated 25/12/2024

Trollhunters Fanfic Recommendations - Part 1

Trollhunters Fanfic Recommendations - Part 2

Trollhunters Fanfic Recommendations - Part 3

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 4

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 5

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 6

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 7

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 8

~

Trollhunters AMV Recommendations part 1

Tales of Arcadia AMV Recommendations part 2

~

My own fanfic list complete with summaries.

[kashimos-hajime]

immeasurable firsts | s.r.

Summary: All your firsts with Steve Rogers and all the heartbreak and happiness that comes with it.

A/N: For the writing challenge hosted by the fabulous @imhereforbvcky and the wonderful @justsomebucky. 

Dedicating this to @wxntersoldiers because I still have to write for her and I hope this’ll make up for how late I’m gonna submit it in! (I’ll get to it soon!!!!)

WARNINGS: Swearing, blood, violence, death, extreme angst but some happy stuff too.

Word Count: 11.6k Pairing: Steve Rogers x Stark-sister! Reader Prompt: The most ridiculous part of this whole situation is that I love you.

Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Four easy words to describe Tony Stark.

You, on the other hand. Genius, billionaire, philanthropist all fit. Playboy? Perhaps. You prefer socialite. The paparazzi has always had their bite at you but that doesn’t mean that none of it is true.

You are Y/N Stark, younger sister of one Anthony Edward Stark, one certified pain in the ass, and one big brother. He was basically everything you had ever since your parents died. He raised you. He was your dad, and mom, and brother all at once, and you know that no one could’ve done it better. From what you know and what Tony tells you about your dad, you’re better off.

But your mom… you miss her every day.

On a full-ride to MIT just like him, you succeeded him in every way, graduating summa cum laude just like him, but while he did it when he was seventeen, you did it when you were eighteen. He always held that fact over you, but not after you mentioned that while he hacked into the Pentagon for a dare, you hacked into the Harry S. Truman building for fun. State department had a field day with that one.

As Stark Industries head of Research and Development, you occupy all of four floors and helped more than 12% to make Stark Towers the first building powered by self-sustainable clean energy, but you’d let your brother take all that credit if it meant your brother gets some with Pepper.

“Ma’am, Agent Coulson is on the line. Mr. Stark deferred him to you.” Swiping the holoscreen to close it, you look up from where you’re working on new schematics for your suit.

“Tony’s in.”

“Mr. Stark insists on refusing the call, and Agent Coulson insists on seeing him.”

Rolling your eyes, you pull up another holoscreen that linked you to the surveillance feed. Switching through the cameras, you swipe for Tony’s private elevator. You spot the agent standing outside the elevator, texting away on his phone and you turn on your mic with a smile.

“Hey, Phil,” you greet and the agent looked up, turning to the camera.

“Ms. Stark.” He gives you a little wave and you straighten up, putting your stylus away and turning off your tablet. Moving the surveillance feed to your phone, you walk to the couch you had in your office, sitting down and pulling your laptop on with you. Opening it up, you log in. “If you could ask your brother to pick up the phone, that’d be a great help.”

“You know Tony doesn’t listen to me.” Opening up the files Tony had sent you earlier, blueprints for Stark Tower and the grocery list for next week, you roll your eyes at the note at the end. ‘Pep said it’s my turn to do nothing for a whole week,’ it reads. Your fingers work away on your keyboard as you return your attention to Phil. “I’m going to disable J.A.R.V.I.S.’s protocols and give random people access to his private elevator because he’s annoyed me just now. You do whatever you want with that information.”

“Thank you. And you might need to join me, Ms. Stark.”

“Is it something important? Because my consulting hours don’t normally run this long. Also, I thought I said I didn’t want anymore S.H.I.E.L.D. assignments.” Tapping away on your keyboard, you have the elevator doors open and bypass the A.I.’s protocols.

“It’s urgent.”

“When do I ever care about that?” you retort. The call ends and you get up anyway, glaring at your phone. With a heavy sigh, you slip the device into your pocket before looking at the few holo screens you have open around the office. The levels of the reactor are stable, and you watch as they fluctuated, readjusting every once in a while.

“J.A.R.V.I.S., shut the place down. After I go see Tony, I’m heading home.”

“Of course, Ms. Stark.”

You live essentially next door to the tower, and it isn’t important for you to bring anything home, so you grab your keys and purse before leaving your office of glass doors and walls and windows. The lights turn off behind you as you jab the elevator button, ready to head up to say goodnight to Tony and see what Phil Coulson thought was so urgent.

.

The Avengers Initiative.

And they thought Tony was a good fit?

“Volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others,” you recite as you read over the files in Tony’s penthouse on the top floor of Stark Towers. “If he wanted the better of the Starks, he would’ve chosen me,” you tease. Tony sighs, wiping a hand over his face and you frown. Sigh in that tone means frustration, exhaustion, and he’s feeling overwhelmed.

“What is it?” Looking to see what’s caught your brother’s attention, you swallow and get up, walking around the couch to touch the hologram of the thing that your father had found instead of a man. “The Tesseract,” you whisper, suddenly finding your mouth very dry. Blinking, you twist the hologram around before pulling back. Your father had been obsessed with the thing. Hell, he probably loved it more than he ever loved the two of you. Your brother’s pulled back, too, arms crossed as his dark gaze flickers over the other portfolios.

“Some crack team, huh,” he mutters but your eyes can’t tear away from the blue glowing cube. Your dad always talked about it — well, it and Captain America, who happened to be in one of the portfolios, but you can’t help the nagging feeling that the cube is better left in the ocean where no one can find it. After all, they wouldn’t have to drag your brother into this mess if it was.

“Tony,” you call out when your brother moves for the bar. He pulls up a bottle of scotch and silently asks if you want a drink. Shaking your head, you bite your lip and gather what nerves you have left to ask the question. “Should I be worried?”

There is no answer.

.

“Hey, how was it?” you ask when Tony returns to the Helicarrier. The suit decompresses and you smirk, arching a brow. “Get the bad guy?”

“Yeah, and a plus one. Oh, uh—” Tony turns to the other guys piling out of the Quinjet. The clanging of chains catch your attention as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents swarm the jet, escorting the prisoner out. Loki, you realize. Following him is a tall blond and an even taller blond, though the taller one follows after Loki. Thor. Had to be. Your brother gestures to the two— “the rest of the crack team. You talk to Banner, yet?”

“Not yet. They told me he was down in the lab, but I was working on my suit. I’ve a new set of schematics I wanna try out, if you have the time.”

“You only made a suit to copy me,” he teases and you nudge him playfully. “Yeah, sure. If we have time, after the world finishes it’s self-destruction, or whatever, we should take it out for a spin.”

“Thanks, Ant.” He sighs at the nickname but you squeeze his arm, watching him go. He needs to get that suit off, and you need to get that decryption implant on the motherboard. If Tony’s going into this, he isn’t going into it blind. Anyone who’s working with the Tesseract, especially an organization like S.H.I.E.L.D., wouldn’t use this for clean energy. And you’ve worked missions with them before. You know that eco-friendly energy is the last thing on their mind. Howard Stark may have wanted it for clean energy, but if an intergalactic war is being had…

You put a pin on that train of your thought as your gaze drifted back to the armory. The shorter blond nodded to you with a smile, and you put on a fresh face for Steve Rogers, World War Two Hero, actual soldier-type with a cute smile. Tilting your head, you walk up to him and stick out a hand. In your heels, you could’ve tried to be as tall as him but his presence adds two inches to his height.

“Captain Rogers, honor to meet you.”

“Steve,” he amends as he quirks an eyebrow. “And you are? Sorry, it’s been a whirlwind couple of days.”

“Y/N Stark,” you say, shaking his hand. He’s warm and his blue eyes fix on yours as you take in his features. He’s even cuter up close. “And no problem. Not everyone can spend their time as a Capsicle.”

“Your brother made the same joke,” Steve says as you begin to walk down the hall with him.

“He only got the chance because he met you first.” Heading down to the briefing room, you glance at him to find him staring back. Arching an eyebrow, you wait until he notices and a brilliant blush spreads across his cheeks, but you smirk, brushing the hair away from your face and leading him to the room where your brother is waiting.

.

After the Battle of New York — that’s what the news is calling it, you call it an inconvenience — the dust settled to reveal the true damage of it. There’s a lot of rebuilding to do, specifically the area around Stark Tower, which means a lot of money is needed to repair downtown New York. Of course, the best way to get the rich to donate money is a charity ball, and the fact that it’s able to be doubled as a celebration ball makes Tony absolutely gleeful. You, on the other hand, would rather be anywhere but here. The destruction caused in Stark Tower has given you nothing but a headache and whilst Tony and the Avengers had gone for shawarma, you’d suited up to begin lifting the rubble and seeing the true damage underneath the whole ‘saving the planet’. Which you can respect, by the way, but you didn’t want to test out the new suit by lifting up heavy concrete and wires.

Now, all you want to do head back, take an Advil, and sleep the day off. Whilst the Avengers had decided to steal the show, you never said a thing about how Tony literally flew into a fucking wormhole.

You still need to yell at him for that one. Maybe cry. And hug him. For a long time.

“You need to relax,” Tony mumble through his smile as the three of you gathered your bearings to get out of the limousine.

“You need to stop making us late,” you retort. “And wormhole, remember? You’re still in for it.”

He sends you a sheepish smile, his eyes pleading apology, but you ignore it, stepping out. Pepper holds onto Tony’s arm to get out, whilst you pick up the edges of your dress, a brilliant scarlet dress, with a slit up the side of your leg and elegantly pull yourself up.

Adjusting the gold cuff on your wrist, you grab your gold clutch and shade your eyes against the flashes. Tony and Pep are already walking through the paparazzi, up the stairs to the venue for the Avengers, the cameras snapping away. Used to it, you tuck your hair behind your ear to showcase your outfit. In scarlet and gold, you shine under the flashes.

“Ms. Stark!” one of the photographers call out and you pause, striking a small pose before continuing on. The tire screeches behind you signify another arrival and you turn with a small smile, wondering who it could be. The black car’s window slide down, revealing a star-struck Steve Rogers and he steps out, squinting against the flashing lights. Raising a hand in half a wave and half a means to block the light, the super-soldier’s gaze dart across the scene before landing on you. You extend your hand to him, smiling. He speed-walks over to you, grateful for a friendly face and he offers an arm for you to take, escorting you inside.

“I’m glad you got out safe,” you begin, tucking a curl behind you ear as he focuses on getting up to the stairs. You throw a wave to the crowd, before adding, “I was maybe a tiny bit worried about you. More so about Tony, but then I wonder why.” You pretend to tap your chin in curiosity and he chuckles.

“I’m flattered. And you’re beautiful,” he mumbles under his breath, cheeks red but you can’t tell if it’s because of you or the cameras. Smiling softly, you press your head against his shoulder for a moment before lifting it again to look at the soldier. “I dunno if anyone’s told you that yet.”

“No one that matters,” you tell him and you pause to kiss his cheek. His shy smile makes you smile wider, the endearing expression on his face causing warmth to spread through you. Cameras take snapshots of your moment and you internally sigh. There comes one of the cons of being a public figure. You have no doubt some stupid hashtag like #Rogerstark or, you don’t know, #Ironcaptain, will be trending on twitter by the night’s end. “And you look good, too. Real good.”

“Uh,” he chuckles, blushing and you laugh. “Thanks.”

“Overwhelmed, yet?” You climb the steps, using Steve’s hand to steady yourself before he opens the door for you. You hold his hand to bring him in and the pap calls after the two of you even when the door closes. If he’s gonna give the press content, you might as well have fun with it. Even if he doesn’t mean too — he’s just being the gentleman he is.

“A bit, yeah, but not by the cameras.”

You chew on the inside of your lip. You don’t know if you’re insulted or not. “By me?”

“In the best way. Gotta impress the most gorgeous woman in the room,” he promises and you hold him to that promise. “I’m sure the cameras will get worse, too. But you seem to be doing just fine,” he says and you chuckle. Patting his arm, you lead him, following the signs that say This Way or something of the variant.

“I grew up going to this kinda stuff. I’m used to it by now. But if you keep being you, the press is gonna eat you up.”

“How do you mean?”

“You’re a real gentleman, Rogers,” you sing. The foyer is filled with tons of guests, some drinking while others are eating some nuts or chips, and there’s an open door leading to the white carpet. Of course, they’re waiting for all the Avengers to go on first, and you can hear the anxious muttering of the paparazzi outside the room.

“I don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

“Well, people like prying into other people’s lives,” you continue and he nods. His gaze darts across the room just as a server comes by with a tray of champagne. Disentangling your arm from Steve’s, you take two. “Steve, I’m just saying, the paps love to make speculations about Tony and I. Sometimes, it’s the only thing keeping them open, and a lot of people don’t like the attention, the stalkers, the fans.” Offering the champagne, you give him a forced smile. “A lot of people don’t wanna stay because of it.”

“What if I want to?”

“What?” You nearly let out a laugh but Steve looks totally serious as his gaze catches yours. They’re darker, more intense, but there’s still that sense of light to him. Like he’s having fun getting the shock out of you.

“I said, what if I wanted to stay? I’m an Avenger now. Might as well get used to it and I think we’re stuck with each other.”

You drain your champagne, blink, and then stare at him as if he’s grown a second head. “I have no illusions on being a celebrity, Y/N. I’ve had a few experiences of my own, and it may be a bit different from back then, but I know.”

“It’s a lot different, Steve.”

“Maybe not so much.” He takes your hand and the champagne, leading you to the side of the room where there are small high tables where people can stand and chat over food, and he places his full flute and your empty one on the tablecloth. “Y/N, I’m just saying, let the press eat it up. We know what we are.”

And what’s that? you wonder helplessly as he says that they should get to the carpet. Tony and Pepper have already started, and Steve visibly recoils. Looping your arm through his, you send him a reassuring smirk, if possible.

“You might have to squint, Cap,” you whisper nefariously and he sends you a roll of his eyes as you put on your celebrity face. It hides your inner turmoil well as you kill over Steve’s words. With the most handsome man in the room on your arm, you send smolder and smolder whilst the soldier tries to ease into his smiles. It’s easier once you get him laughing at your jokes, and it’s hard to imagine you’d ever dreaded going to the event at all.

.

To say you and Steve see each other over the next few years would be an understatement. Seeing as how you are in Washington occasionally, flying back and forth for work, the Triskelion is one of the few places you’d actually get excited to see once in a while. You’re actually in Washington when Steve’s called away on a mission. Sitwell’s called you in for an emergency consult. Well, he called Tony. You picked up the call. And what you came to was Nick Fury’s deathbed.

The image makes you shudder.

Suiting up, you propel yourself out of your Washington flat and fly towards the Triskelion. At night, Washington looks like any other city, breathtaking and alight with life. The Washington Monument’s glow casts its base in warm light as you fly over it, slowing down to admire your view and postpone going to the Triskelion. Ever since Steve knocked out the S.T.R.I.K.E. team in the elevator, you’ve been feeling like there had to be a reason.

Your reflection in the water is barely visible except for the glow of your repulsors, eyes, and arc reactor, and you float above it, the squirming feeling in your stomach ever growing.

Why do you have the feeling just like the one before the Battle of New York?

A number you don’t recognize calls you, but you pick up anyway, having A.N.A encrypt your location just in case as you fight off the feeling. Tony’s safe in New York — as safe as he can be fixing up the quarters for the Avengers who still drop by from time to time. Just one night of consultation, and then you’re back there with him, eating microwave dinners and working on new things.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Steve? Where are you?” Shaking yourself, you continue on your way to the Triskelion just as his voice echoes in your ears again.

“Sam’s. And you need to listen to me.”

“Are you okay?” you ask despite yourself. You haven’t seen him since the hospital, and if you’re honest with yourself, you kinda miss him. Plus, he wasn’t looking too great when you’d left.

You hold his hand, stepping closer as he stares at Natasha’s back. The red-haired woman’s head is bowed to hide her tears and you look to Steve. His eyes stare back at you but he doesn’t truly see you as you wrap your other hand around his arm, resting your head against his shoulder. He squeezes your hand tighter. You simply close your eyes and press your cheek against his jacket as your fingers interlace. He looks down, and you raise your head to see what he’s looking at.

A silver USB lies in his hand and your eyebrows knit together when you look at the make. S.H.I.E.L.D. made. When he catches you staring, however, he shoves it back into your pocket. A silent question that he ignores lays within your eyes.

“I didn’t want to leave the hospital so soon, but consultation couldn’t wait on the pumping problem,” you continue, diving into the water surrounding the building as your suit readjusts the air pressure and you turn on your headlamps. The water before you filters out the moon as you dive deeper.

“It’s fine. I just wanted to check up with you.”

“Why? ‘Cause I’m heading underwater and the slightest malfunction of the suit could kill me?” you ask, initiating the lights in your repulsors. Steve lets out a sigh of a laugh quietly on the other end as you squint, making out the shape of the pipelines.

“You made that suit, Y/N. I know it won’t,” he replies, but he sounds tense and you make yourself redirect the conversation. Your HUD emits a gentle light as it does a preliminary scan on the pipelines.

“Thanks, Steve. So… where are you now? I mean, now that you’re on the run.”

“That’s what I’ve got to talk to you about.”

Pulling up, you frown. No leaks and the Stark Industry sustainable filter is running flawlessly. You’d installed it yourself, along with the other convertors along the lines. Turning off your mic, you raise your arm.

“A.N.A., can you run a scan? Sitwell said it was in this area, and I’m not sure if I’m being delusional.”

“Of course, Ms. Stark.” The repulsor gauntlet shoots out a grid of blue light, a bar of blue scanning the pipes as you work your way down the whole area. Resuming your call with Steve, you clear your throat.

“Sorry, Steve, what is it? Is it about why you gave Rumlow the black eye he deserves?” you joke.

“Y/N, S.H.I.E.L.D. has been compromised.” Your heart stops. Maybe you are delusional.

“What?”

“Whatever you do, don’t take another assignment from them. You need to leave D.C. now.”

“Steve, I—”

“There is an unknown object approaching your vector.” A.N.A.’s warning interrupts whatever you were going to say, and kick starts your wired brain. You twist around, all sources of light shutting off at once with a quiet whir. Letting yourself sink, you steady your breathing and turn on your night vision just as something explodes right next to you. It sends you tumbling, your head rattling in your suit as you spin in the water, trying to regain your sense of up and down.

“A.N.A., find the source!” Managing to stabilize yourself to a stop, you shake your head. Something’s trickling down your temple, and there’s a familiar ache in your arm that was closest to the blast. You still can’t hear well aside from the ringing and you strain to hear.

“Already on it.”

Y/N, what’s going on?” Steve asks but his voice crackles over the line and you wince, trying to ignore how grating it is on your ears as blue shapes are highlighted on your HUD. Submarines by the looks of it. S.H.I.E.L.D. warships armed with missiles, mines, and torpedos.

Fuck, really? In the Potomac? You have no time for questions like that, though, and with every second you waste sinking to the bottom, it’s another second feeling like the water’s going to seep into your suit and asphyxiate you. Another missile launches towards you and you swerve out of the way, letting it land in the riverbed.

“I was in Washington for a consultation on the Triskelion’s pump system,” you whisper. “Fucking great that they’re compromised now, huh?”

“Engaging boosters.” Your ankles lock together, you press your hands against your sides and look up as you propel yourself to the surface. You’re a great white beacon of light and heat now that you’ve given up all hope of defeating war subs in your mechanic armor. “Missiles fired. They’ve tracked your infrared signature, ma’am.”

“Y/N?” Steve’s voice cracks the comms again as moonbeams begin to break through. “What’s going?”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. subs are on me. Five. Shit!” A missile strikes your foot and you let out a yelp as the booster fails. Veering off, you try to get back on course. “Targeting system. They know all the weak points of this suit. Fuck! My booster’s down.” Swerving out of the way of another swarm of missiles, you run diagnostics on your failed repulsor node just as A.N.A. gives out another warning that another barrage is incoming. Your heart beats in your throat, blood dripping over and down your neck, and you try to unscramble your thoughts. S.H.I.E.L.D. is attacking you. S.H.I.E.L.D. is attacking you. Holy shit.

Tony’s going to be so pissed.

“Can you fire back?”

“It’s my repair suit. It’s not meant for battle. I didn’t think I’d get attacked by fucking S.H.I.E.L.D.!” The second barrage nearly gets you and you let out a breath of relief when they all whiz past, only for a bigger cruise missile to slam into your side. Infrared tech on a cruise missile with diamond nibs. These are war-grade, way above anyone’s pay-grade and slice through your suit like it’s soft cheese. It digs into you and you let out a terrified gasp.

It’s a small explosion, granted, but it no doubt shatters your ribs and blows something apart inside you. Ears ringing, you scream over the sound of A.N.A. giving you a status report on the suit, but over your own hoarse voice, you know that water’s surging into your suit, your ribs are shattered, and you’re probably going to die. A.N.A. quarantines the water, sealing you from the neck up as you frantically touch your wound. Your A.I. has already dispatched the emergency lock, your second skin of armor spanning over your abdomen and binding your insides together.

“Injuries?”

“Shattered ribs, multiple third-degree burns and massive internal damage.”

“Communications?” you wheeze, trying to breathe but your lungs struggle against the ribs that float around in your chest cavity as you clutch at the wound. A.N.A. had been as fast as she could, closing over the wound as soon as she detected it, but dirty, freezing river water still got in. It laps at your wounds, soothing the burns and washing through your insides simultaneously. Melting from the inside out, you suck in your scream and blink, trying to ignore the tears streaming down your face as you pray for the adrenaline to kick in.

“Offline. They’ve scrambled the frequency.”

“Unscramble it! We need to tell Steve he needs to get out of here and tell Tony what’s happening. I’ll focus on the staying alive part.” Although sobs tear at your throat and blackness dots your vision from the pain, you squint through your tears to look at the HUD. A list of systems that are offline continue to scroll down the side as the water begins to pick up, pulling and pushing you in all directions.

“Y-Y-Y/N? Can you read me? Hey!”

“Still alive, yet, Cap,” you manage to say, redirecting all energy to your one working foot. “Come on, come on.” Every movement is sending agony rushing down to your chest and it’s like the water pressure presses down into your chest. Even breathing is getting difficult as a knot forms between your lungs. Heaving for air, you begin to speed up to the surface. Water streams down the sides, bubbles popping and foam disappearing before your eyes. Suddenly, beeping begins out of left-field.

“They’re sending more cruise missiles, ma’am. Without your other repulsor node, you won’t be able to outfly them.”

“But I’m so fucking close!”

“It won’t matter, Ms. Stark. They’ve locked into your heat signature and this suit does not have the capability to lower or mask your in-suit heat output.” A.N.A.’s words make you blink and you let out a desperate sigh, your breathing coming ragged as the water closes in on you. Your vision blurs, and for a moment, your head dips forward before you snap open your eyes. “I’m sorry, Ms. Stark.” Your A.I. sounds so fucking crushed and she’s already grieving and you regret coding in emotions because you want to cry, and not because of the pain.

“It’s not your fault, A.N.A.”

Blinking, you try to calm yourself down but it’s all coming so close. Your helmet can’t protect you for long, you’re going to die, you’re going to die, you’re going to die—

“You’ll send a message to Tony? The message?” you ask and the world stops. The startling realization that you might truly die here in the Potomac slams into you and you nearly let out a scream at how fucking unfair it is. Ribbons of tears track down your face, and you compress yourself into a compact slip of armor, hoping it’ll give you that chance to outrun it, but you know that it won’t. You graduated from MIT, just like Tony. Your big brother Tony. You know the math. The beeping gets louder, gets faster.

A watery smile appears on your face, your lips trembling as it crumbles away and you openly sob. Your face is hot and you breathe in hot air, and you need to breathe. Oh, god, you’re gonna die of asphyxiation before you die of your injuries and everything’s closing in on you—

“Of course, Ms. Stark.” You take comfort in A.N.A.s voice and confirmation, trying to pull what’s left of you together.  “Thank you.” It’s just within reach, but the beeping in your ears tells you the missiles are closer. They’re hot on your trail and your faulty booster has no intention of coming back soon. Remembering your call, you swallow whatever tears you have left and ignore the ache in your throat. Everything hurts, but nothing so much as the pain one can get from knowing what they’re leaving behind. “Steve?” 

Crackling, and then a thick voice comes on and you know he’s crying too, “I’m here.”

Your eyes reflect the moon’s beams, and you can only see that beautiful full moon surrounded by so much darkness, and you wonder if this is what Tony saw up in that wormhole. The light at the end of a tunnel. You swallow, nod, and tell yourself that you can’t feel the pain anymore. The adrenaline in my body’s numbing it, you reason to yourself. I’ll die from my injuries before I can get to a hospital, so there’s no point in feeling it. The beeping becomes insistent, but you don’t look back. If you don’t look back, maybe they aren’t there.

“Ms. Stark…”

“It’s okay, A.N.A. You did your best.” Clenching your jaw, you try to make sure your next words can be made out. They need to count, you need him to hear you loud and clear, and he seems to sense this because he begins to whisper these nothings meant to make you feel better, or to stall you. You hope it’s to make to feel better. 

Because it works.

“Steve, when I die, tell Tony that… that I love him, and he deserves so many things in this world. Tell him, tell him he is the best brother I could’ve asked for, and—“

“Hey, Y/N. You’re gonna outfly those rockets. You’re the best damn pilot I know. So, stop talking like you’re gonna die.”

“Steve—“

“Y/N, it’s gonna be okay. It’ll be okay, doll, you’re gonna be just fine, and then you’ll come over to Sam’s, and we’ll be on the run together.” Steve’s voice cracks and it damn well near breaks you as the A.N.A. goes radio silent. The HUD turns off. She’s conserving energy. That can only mean one thing. “Won’t that be fun? Huh? We’ll be… what was it that was trending after the 2012 gala? That hashtag…”

You let out a noise that’s somewhere between a sob and a laugh as your eyes close. “#Ironcaptain and #Starogers were both trending,” you remind him. His voice is soft and hoarse, and exactly how you imagined him in the mornings. You’ll never get to fucking see him again. Fuck. Life. Fuck. You.

“That’s right, doll. You’re right. You’re so beautiful and smart. You’re tough as, uh, iron, and you’re always right.”

“Dork.”

“Yeah, I’m your dork, though. So, you’ve gotta make it. You’re perfect. That’s why you’ll make it, okay?” He’s in so much denial it pains you to the core and all you want to do is grab him in a hug and tell him that you’re going to die but it’ll be okay. But he’s on the other side of the city and he can’t save you this time. “That’s why I’m gonna see you again, and I’m gonna tell you so many things. So you’ve got to stay alive, alright? ‘Cause I needa tell you all about Camp Lehigh and Bucky and you’re supposed to be here with me ‘cause you’re one of my best friends and I need you, okay? It’s been like that since the beginning, Y/N. Before everything, before that gala, before we were friends. I was always the puppy trailing after you. So you can’t die.”

“Steve,” you choke out as you open your eyes again. You reach your uninjured arm for the surface. Your fingers are barely brushing the air and you can imagine the wind on your face. You might make it. “Steve, I’m scared to die.”

“You’re not gonna die, so there’s nothing to be scared of,” he tells you like it's a fact and not something that’s stopping you from turning off every repulsor node you have left. You’re so tired but your arm breaks free, and then your suit and then you’re soaring through the sky.

Flying through the air, you hear the whistle of wind and missile trail after you. You made it to the surface and for what? Here you’ll be, shot down like game anyway. Is that all live is? A game of hope and lies and deceit, just for some god out there?

If it is, when you die, you’ll tell them that you were never playing. You’ll tell whatever god who’s watching to go fuck themselves. Find someone else to play with.

“Steve,” you whisper, because you need to say it as many times as you can before you can’t anymore. “Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve.”

“I’m here. I’m right here waiting for you.”

You laugh into your next words, cheeks soaking with tears as you raise your eyes to the moon. “I’m glad that it’s you.” 

The missiles dig into your armor — legs, chest, arms in that order — and explode. You are a dying star, the last brilliant flash of light and beauty and the magnificence of the universe before you are extinguished. 

On the other side of Washington, Steve watches the orange cloud of fire and smoke consume the air around it hungrily as a lone figure drops into the water.

.

“Zola’s algorithm… is a program for choosing I.N.S.I.G.H.T.’s targets.”

“What targets?”

“You! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of Defense, a high school valedictorian in Iowa city.” Sitwell swallows visibly and Steve’s nails dig into his palms as he stares at the pathetic man. “Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, anyone who's a threat to HYDRA! Now, or in the future. It’s why we killed Y/N Stark.” Blood drips down Steve’s fingers as he grabs Sitwell’s collar, hauling him to his feet.

“What did you say?”

“We… it was a confirmed hit.” Sitwell’s confession rings in Steve’s ears and he lifts him up higher, wanting him to choke.

“You say her name one more time, no one’s gonna stop you when you’re thrown off the building.” He lets the man drop to a pile on the ground. The blood from his palms mark where he’d grabbed the traitor and Steve resists the urge to kick him. Instead, he asks how Zola’s algorithm can predict the future whilst thinking of every way imaginable on how he can destroy H.Y.D.R.A., one agent at a time.

.

“Y/N wouldn’t want some priest,” Steve says, playing with Sam’s cellphone. He’d given it to him after what happened in Washington, but Steve’s never grabbed the strength to play the voicemail sent to the number not long after your last call together. The anger he had has sapped away until all that’s left is the space you used to fill with your laugh and smile. He never even got to tell you how he felt about you— “Maybe something quiet. Her stuff burned, something like that.”

“How the hell would you know what she wanted?” Tony whispers. His rage is simmering so close to the surface, so close to his breaking point, that Steve looks up. They’re gathered in the Avengers Tower, all of them for once, and Tony slams his hand on the table, head bowed. 

“Tony,” Bruce begins but he ignores him, pushing off the table and walking back towards the window of the penthouse, staring off to the skyline. “I’m sorry. You couldn’t have stopped it.”

“I could’ve. I could’ve told her not to go.”

“You couldn’t have known S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised,” Natasha adds, although her eyes are red rimmed and there’s something croaky in her voice. Steve’s heard her cry. He knows. “None of us knew.” Tony whips around.

“You were supposed to protect her!” His words make Steve flinch more than the volume he screams it at. Steve’s blood rushes to his head in his shame, and a familiar bruise blooms in his throat. “I trusted you. You promised me you’d protect her.”

“I promised I’d try, Tony,” he whispers. “And I couldn’t. Neither could you. If you were in my position, you wouldn’t have made it in time.”

“I could’ve. I could’ve, with my suit. I could have saved her if I was in your position, because I would have had the suit!” Tipping over a wine glass and letting it smash to the floor, all but Tony flinch when he walks over the shards of broken glass. “You don’t have any idea what I could’ve done.” 

Steve falls silent. He turns on the phone screen, turns it off again, and flips it over to feel the edges where the screen protector has cracked.

“Tony,” Thor begins, speaking for the first time since he’s arrived. His dark blue eyes are storms on seas and the air around him blurs with energy. The air tastes like lightning. “Look at me.”

“I could’ve saved her,” Tony repeats.

“Look at me.” Dark eyes meet storm blue. “You could not have gone across the city, bring her out of the water, and take her to a hospital alive. Even if you did find her, she would have bled out or succumbed to her injuries.” His voice lowers as Tony’s head drops forward, tears racing down his nose and cheeks. “We all saw the suit.”

“Doesn’t mean she’s dead,” Tony whispers. He jolts himself out of Thor’s grasp and walks back to the window. “She could’ve made it out. Someone could’ve saved her.”

“Tony,” Natasha calls softly, “we need to—“

“‘We’,” the man repeats incredulously. He gives them all a sneer. Tony’s bitter smile could make hell freeze over and Steve pockets the phone, standing. “I’m sorry, there’s a ‘we’ in this situation? Who’s her brother here?”

“Tony, that isn’t fair—”

“There is no ‘we’. You all think she’s dead, but we never got a body. That’s what isn’t fair about this. You’re supposed to be her friends, her family, and you’ve just given up on her! She could still be out there. She could still be kicking and you’ve all given up on her!” Swiping a hand out to the window, he stares at them, waiting for them to agree. When they don’t, his head bows as his hands ball into fists. With a sigh, all the strength leaves him and Tony’s shoulders slump. When he looks up again, his eyes are shining wet, dark earth after a storm.

“Tony,” Steve says his name faintly, then clears his throat. Standing up, he waits for the response and gets none. He begins his way to the man who personifies all stages of grief. His throat bruised from holding in tears, he just calls his name again until Tony looks at him. “We got the suit.” Tony’s entire body crumples and he leans against the bar, eyes narrowing on the marble swirls. “She may have been your sister, but she wasn’t invincible.”

“Don’t talk about her like she’s dead!” Steve sees the swing before it makes contact and he ducks underneath, bringing Tony into a crushing hug. “She’s not dead. She’s my baby sister, she’s not dead.” Steve doesn’t say anything, but the man seems to wilt in his arms as another hand touches his shoulder. Bruce sends a tight-lipped smile before slipping between the two and hugging Tony tight. The blond pulls away.

“Thor, get the suit,” Steve whispers, turning to the god. He’s uncharacteristically quiet, nodding and uncrossing his arms to go retrieve the cargo they’d received a week ago. Maria Hill had it delivered in an unsuspecting box outside of Stark Towers, with a touch ID that only Tony Stark could bypass. Inside, the melted, burnt, broken remains of what is left of your mechanic suit. Half a gauntlet, blasted metal, shrapnel and bloodstains. That’s all they have left of you.

Tony takes out your helmet. There are ashy streaks where the explosion had damaged the metal, and there’s a huge crack up the left side of the mask until where the eye used to be. A hole is punched through, the wires poking out, and blood where something had dragged over your mask.

“J.A.R.V.I.S., connect A.N.A. to the servers.”

“Right away, sir.”

“Good morning, Mr. Stark.” A new voice echoes throughout the penthouse, a subdued female who sounds like she’s seen better days. Steve catches Tony’s weakening smile. “Is there anything you need?”

“You have the recording for… for her last day?” Bruce asks quietly.

“Mr. Stark?” A.N.A. seems to wait on Tony for confirmation and he nods.

“Go.”

The helmet lights up and Tony places it on the bar counter before heading down to the couch with the rest of them. Natasha rubs his arm, leaning on her other elbow and hiding her mouth behind a tight fist. Thor closes his eyes, listening as intently as he can. Bruce paces back and forth and Steve just waits on Tony.

When they reach your agony, your screams, your relentless sobbing for death as you sink into the Potomac, Tony tells A.N.A. to turn it off. There’ll be two funerals, they decide. The public memorial and one just for them.

.

“You dealt with my sister’s potty mouth and you yell at me about language?” Tony asks over the comms. Steve groans on the other end, and he’s surprised by how easily he can mention you. It doesn’t hurt as much. “I literally can’t get over it.”

“It just slipped out, Tony,” he replies.

“Well, I bumped into a forcefield, so I had a reason.” Tony’s senses are on high alert. The Enhanced is MIA and his eyes scan the area. 

“Keep your eyes on the prize, Tony. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can head home and debate about it.”

Tony pushes on the secret door, letting out a silent ‘yay’ when it gives, sliding into motion.

“We have a second enhanced. Female. Do not engage.”

Walking down the staircase, Tony’s nerves shoot. Something about this place seems off. The staircase expands as he gets to the end, leading through a dark hallway lit by the occasional lamp that looks like it hasn’t had its oil changed since the 80’s. Grimacing, Tony continues on his way. It’s enough light to let him see ahead and if he needs the suit, it’s just seconds away. The hallway opens up to reveal a huge underground laboratory, and Tony’s eyes widen, gaze drifting up as he takes in the magnitude of this room. It’s a huge construct, with metal catwalks and staircases. A Leviathan is hoisted in the air by wires and he blinks.

“Guys, I got Strucker.”

“Yeah, I’ve got… something bigger.” There are benches full of forgotten projects or ones half-done. An Iron Legion robot lays on one of them, illuminated by pale yellow.

Shit. He wants to get out of here and back to the team, but it’s too late now and he has a job to do. His eyes drift over the robot again, seeing if he’d know what they needed it for. Experimentation? Curiosity?

Parts. He can see it in the delicate way it was taken apart, by someone who knows their way around this kind of stuff. This isn’t some ten year old who’d torn it apart for the sake of curiosity. No, this is surgery.

Tearing his eyes away, he turns to look at the triple row of benches under what looks to be operating room lights. Something gold and red glimmers underneath the light but he can’t risk getting unfocused.

The blue glow of Loki’s sceptre reminds him of why he’s here, and he goes to it. Electricity crackles around it, tools and half-made but quality gadgets used to stabilize it. There are monitors reading the levels it’s giving out, fluctuating as Tony steps closer.

“Thor, I got eyes on the prize.”

“Tony?” Turning around at the sound of a voice — the voice, your voice — Tony’s eyes widen as the Leviathan jerks into motion. Letting out a scream, he flinches away, his mind reeling back to that wormhole in 2012. Panic seizes him, his lungs constricting and his heart beating in time with the pulse in his head as he turns to watch it go, flying above the rock steps occupied by some bodies.

Bodies he recognizes.

Bruce’s Hulk body twitches as the last of his fight leaves him. Spears come out and go into him at all angles and he lets out a painful whimper. Natasha’s broken arms and legs stretch and twist in awkward angles as if she’d fallen to her death and every single bone in her is shattered. A pool of blood spreads beneath her head and her eyes stare sightlessly at him. The rock ledge is slick with red, flowing down in a tiny trickle towards Clint. For a moment, Tony thinks he’s alive, and he nearly calls out his name.

Then his head dips and lolls, and Tony knows. Thor’s neck is gashed to the bone, but his blood has dried and Tony’s breath catches in his throat. The few things that can kill Thor aren’t even possible on Earth, and Tony takes a step towards him just as his gaze drops. Steve Rogers lays there, bruised and battered with a shield snapped in half.

Half of him knows this is a vision but the other half is trying to rationalize it. Whatever is messing with his head: transmittable by air, powerful enough to warp his reality, and potent enough to capitalize on pre-existing emotions. Tony jots all this down in his mind as he desperately tries to pull himself out.

Not real, not real, not—

“You could have saved us.”

“Ant? Is it really you?” Spinning around, he comes face to face with you. You look more than a little worse for wear, and he touches your face, unbelieving. Searching your face, he just sighs and kisses your forehead. “Tony, oh my god.” Letting out something between a sob and a chuckle, he rubs your cheeks with his thumbs. Your hands cup his face and you cry out, hugging him tightly.

“Y/N, you’re okay.” He takes hold of you by the shoulders, taking in your features as his fingers brush over your cheekbones. 

“Hey, Tony,” you whisper. The skin peels away underneath your eye in the shape of the crack of your mask as he touches your face, peeling like wet tissue and he lets out a shout, pushing back. The flap of skin continues to fall, tearing away your face and blood flows down the gash as your eye closes. Scarlet tears flow your cheeks. “Tony, it’s me.”

“Y/N, no….” You reach for him still, trying to understand why and Tony can only back away. You’re dressed in tattered clothes, all bloody and burned — the clothes you died in and there’s a gaping hole where your abdomen should be.

“Tony?”

“It isn’t you.” The ugly pulsing burn on your side is black and white, your arm mangled beyond repair. “Stop…”

“Tony, what’s wrong?” You run to him when he trips over the steps of the rocks and you pull him up. Blood runs down your neck, drying dark and thick. Your eye opens again. With a pitch black pupil, only a green synthetic outline stares back at him.

“You’re not real!” Flinging your arms off, he stalks past you and searches for the sceptre. “You’re dead. I buried your empty casket.” He takes in his surroundings, his back to the pile of dead heroes. If he doesn’t acknowledge it, it’ll make his mind realize it isn’t real. If he finds the sceptre, he’s out of here. It’s the sceptre messing with his mind. That’s it. Find the sceptre.

You stumble after him but he ignores you too. His heart tears in half as he ignores it and tells himself that you’re dead. He forces himself to think of that cloudy day and that empty casket. They buried your suit and your favourite books for you to read in whatever afterlife. It’s been a year. You’re dead. 

A vibrating hum catches his attention and he freezes. Closing his eyes, he tries to hone in on the sound.

“Tony, please! Look at me...” A hand clutches at his shirt and he whips around, prepares to scream for his mind to shut up. The words die before he can speak. There the sceptre is, with the monitors and stabilizers and everything. No dead bodies, no blood on his hands. But the hand is still there. A sobbing pile is at his feet and a pale hand grasps his shirt, and his breath catches when the sobbing pile cries out his name. His stomach twisted, bile crawls up his throat when he sinks to his knees, collapsing before it. His hands shake and he feels his heart steadily climb towards the spectrum of beating so fast he isn’t sure he has a heart anymore. His blood mutes his frantic thoughts, and he, lightheaded and dizzy, pulls the hands off of him. They’re shaking but he isn’t sure if it’s him or… or you.

“Tony, please look at me. Tony? Tony, it’s not a vision, right? I’m, I’m not seeing things, again? Tony?” Your voice under your breath mutters these heartbreaking things that Tony lets out a breathless laugh of pain, and he tilts your chin up to see you. It can’t be you. You, with the exploded armour and bloodstains. You, who’d died by S.H.I.E.L.D. It can’t be you. A shaky hand reaches for your chin, and he feels the hot tears dripping off your skin as he angles your head to the light. Your eyes are wide and sunken compared to the rest of your face and your lips are dried and cracked. Your hands are calloused, dirty, your fingernails chipped, your skin raw and red and blistering. It can’t be you.

But it is.

“Yeah, Y/N, it’s me.” Your eyes widen and you stare at him as if you’ve just noticed him for the first time, and you let out a loud sob, covering your hand with your mouth as he lunges into you, holding you as tight as he can. You’re so real and warm and you’re hugging him back even harder if that’s even possible as he sniffs back his tears.

If this is a dream, Tony doesn’t want to wake up.

“Tony? Tony, you found me. I told them you would, but obviously they ignored it, because you’d never stop until you did.” Tony’s heart races back to the other end of the spectrum. The not-beating side. The side riddled with guilt and grief and pain that he thought he’d moved past but here, in your earnest view, it all comes rushing back. “They, they kept me here to work on the staff, but… you found me.” You bury your face in his neck and he kisses the spot before your ear, looking at the staff with wet eyes. Blinking, he lets the tears that fall, fall freely. “I thought I was dreaming when I heard your voice. It’s been so long. Tony.”

You break down into tears as you melt into his arms, slouching all over him. He holds you up in his embrace and your knees drag over the floor as you wrap your legs around him. He pulls back and sits on his bottom, holding you in his lap like he did when you were a kid after a nightmare. You latch onto him like a koala, and he sighs, eyes closing.

“I’ve got you, sis.” Running a hand over your hair, he realizes with a pang how thin you are. You’re all bones and not a lot of meat, and your spindly fingers are grasping onto him so hard that it hurts. But pain’s good. Means it’s more likely to be real. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you. We’re gonna get you outta here. I’ve got you.”

The comm links are active as Tony buries his face in your greasy hair. You smell awful, but underneath it, you smell like you. 

“Guys, we’ve got a plus one.”

.

“Hold my hand, Steve.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.” He nods, as if expecting your answer and you sit across from him. Reaching over, the man holds your hand across the conference room table. Tony situates himself in the corner, and you already know what’s coming. You just need to gauge Steve’s reaction when it’s presented. 

As images of every global instance of destruction flickers across the screen, you feel something within you twist harder. Washington, D.C. Steve’s grip intensifies, nearly crushing your hand until you give him a gentle squeeze in reminder.

You open the first page of the Sokovia Accords. His thumb traces soothing circles over your skin while you flip through the pages. Your cybernetic eye scans each one, gleaning the important info for you to review later before you hand it off. 

Since your return to civilization, you’ve updated and replaced the tech H.Y.D.R.A. used to keep you alive and functioning with improvements that are far more befitting of you. For one thing, your cybernetic eye they used to replace the one they gouged out has a link to the earpiece, allowing you near 24/7 access to A.N.A. For another, you’ve improved mesh camouflage. After all, the scarring around your metal abdomen is kinda unsightly for undercover operations. 

Still, this isn’t how you wanted to go back into the Avengers. After Tony’s BARF showcase at MIT and the announcement of the September Foundation Grant, you had felt the shift in Tony’s energy. From generous and giving, to guilty and heartbroken, you knew something had happened when he went to the bathroom. Still, he probably didn’t want to talk about it.

So you took the jet back to New York for an emergency Security Council meeting with Secretary Thaddeus Ross. 

Tony watches as you hand the Accords to Steve. Sam refuses to look at it, and Steve only lifts the cover to humour you. You know him. 

When Secretary Ross leaves, the rest of the Avengers follow suit soon after, but not before your brother kisses your hair and rubs your head. They all head out to see the Secretary off and then meet in one of the many lounges in the facility. All of them except Steve.

Steve pulls his hand back to open the thick book, and you swivel the chair to face him fully. He reads the first page and you watch as his expression tightens, lips pressed together, eyebrows furrowed.

“Steve,” you whisper and he looks up at you. Instantly, everything relaxes. His shoulders slide down and he even manages a small smile.

“I don’t like it so far,” he tells you. “Sacrificing our right to choose is too dangerous.” He lifts the Accords half way, scans the pages, and then lets it drop again. He rubs his hand over his face, looking older and tired.

“Well, we can set up safeguards, can’t we? Once all the publicity dies down.” You reach for his hand, and he takes hold of it again. The warmth of him soothes your nerves and he instantly begins rubbing your knuckles. Habit, you suppose.

“But what if this panel doesn’t send us where we need to go? What if they send us where we aren’t needed? Y/N, we can’t be run by some panel who doesn’t even know us.”

“I know. You know I know what happens when corruption begins to spread. I’m sure we’ll be able to have some say over this.”

“Agendas change.”

“And what if our agendas change, too?” you ask quietly. Steve’s head snaps up and you lean forward, squeezing his palm. “I’m not saying you or Tony. I know you try your best. I’m saying when we’re all gone, what happens if the Avengers are run by people who don’t have the same ideals?”

“That’s a far off possibility.”

“But it’s still a possibility.” You stand, smoothing your hands over your pants and adjusting your vest. You realize somewhere that you’re dressed exactly like your brother, but you ignore it. The two of you can’t help but be fashion icons. Walking around the table, you sit on the surface next to his hand. “I don’t like it either, so I’m not going to sign.” Not yet. “But, Tony wants to. So we’re gonna have to talk it over with the team.”

Steve leans back into his chair to look at you. “I can’t sign this, Y/N.”

“I know.” You pull him up to his feet and smile as he brushes hair away from your face. “I know, baby.” You pull him into a hug and he sighs, nuzzling into your neck. Pulling back, he sighs again and brushes his thumb over your lips as his gaze searches your face. He takes you in like he’ll never see you beside him again and you do the same, just trying to burn his face into your memory. 

“These Accords might ruin us.”

“Not if you don’t let it.”

“Tony wants to sign.” Steve lets his head drop and the hands you have on your shoulders press down. Your thumbs dig circles into his muscles.

“Not if we convince him not to.” You send him a smile and he cups your face. “We’re really lucky, Steve. Really lucky. We got a second chance. This past year has been hell for the both of us, but we got our chance.”

“At what cost is it to keep us together? I can’t just pretend I agree with this. If I see a situation pointed south, I can’t just ignore it.”

“I know, baby. Tony knows it too.” Your hands run down his chest and your fingers tangle together. “This is our family. Just, remember that.”

“I know.” Leaning over, he kisses your cheek, although you yearn for it somewhere else, and pulls away to go to the lounge with the Accords. You sit there on the table, alone, watching him go, with that feeling in your heart just like the one in 2012.

Just like the one in Washington.

.

“Take one more step, and I’ll be sending your brains to Wilson.”

Steve freezes. The words, tossed so poisonously against his back, make him stop and he swallows through his bruised throat. He doesn’t want to look at you. He can’t look at you after what he’d done. Rhodey shattered, Tony somewhere trying to fix the mess he made. But he couldn’t regret choosing Bucky. Still, he just wanted to make sure you were okay but you’d woken up and grabbed your gun as quick as you could, standing despite the ringing that must’ve been going on in your head.

“You don’t walk away when I’m talking to you, Captain.” 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Without the shield, he almost feels naked under your piercing glare. He knows that if looks could kill, it wouldn’t have mattered if he had vibranium between you two. “You know what you mean to me.” The gun cocks and he hears the safety switch off. Your finger rests over the trigger.

“Secretary Ross charged me with finding you. Tony asked me to bring you in peacefully,” you whispers. Your unsaid words hang in the air instead. Not more than Bucky. Never more than Bucky. Bucky who killed my parents.

Bucky who didn’t know what he was doing.

But he killed them.

And Steve knew.

After Secretary Ross assigned you with bringing back the fugitives, you’d refused at first. 

“I don’t work for organizations like yours,” you said.

“Y/N, if you don’t go, we don’t know how many people will get hurt when they get in his way,” Tony said. 

“I’m only going for you,” you said.

You knew Steve wouldn’t let his team rot on the Raft for so long. It was only a matter of time before he came to rescue them, and that was where you came in. You know his mind, and it almost kills you, knowing that in every circumstance, he would’ve always chosen Bucky over you. 

Steve was always the better hand-to-hand combatant between the two of you, but Natasha had taught you some new moves before she’d gone and disappeared without a trace, too. You had him pinned underneath you, and a part of you knows that he’d only let you win because he didn’t want to hurt you. Before, it used to be funny. You used to spar, and you’d pin him down, or he’d scoop you up in a hug. Before, it used to be fun and flirty, and you two would make smoothies after. At least, before everything that had happened.

No such kindness is in you now.

It wasn’t in Sam either. The man had knocked you out with a fire extinguisher, leading to their escape.

Until now.

Steve had dragged you to the little skipper he’d used to sneak onto the Raft, scared out of his mind for the concussion you now sported. But it didn’t matter. Despite the dots nearly blacking out your vision, you know if you pull, it’d hit Steve and come out between the eyes.

“Rhodey’s paralyzed,” you grit out, your jaw clenched so hard you’re sure your teeth will break, “because of you. How could you do this to him? To Tony? Especially after what happened last year? Tony… Tony’s heartbroken. You know that? He’s heartbroken.”

So are you. Steve knows how to read between your lines, even if some of ‘em are metal instead of flesh.

“Then, are you gonna do it?” Steve asks quietly. Golden light streams into the dark room, illuminating his broad shoulders and sifting through his hair, and you wonder if everyone else is asleep. That’s the only reason you can think of that’ll make him see you now. He’s always held these secrets. It’s a fucking shame you’re one of them.

It’s a fucking shame he hid the most important one from you. It almost makes you wonder if he ever felt anything for you at all. Life has been shitting on you.

Squinting your eyes, you try to ignore the blossoming pain in your head as you shake your thoughts away. He doesn’t even look at you. Coward.

“I want to,” you tell him, finger just barely pushing the trigger. You know how much pressure it takes to fire a gun “I really, really want to.” You half-laugh, half-cry, because of the pain in your heart and head. Who’s the coward now? “I didn’t know what to do.”

“I know.” Steve turns to you then, his normally-bright blue eyes hooded by the shadows of the rocking ship. You put the gun down, and it’s almost as if all the strength leaves you then, too. “I never wanted you to pick between Tony and I.”

“Why, because I’d pick Tony?” You sit back down on your bed again, and Steve shoves his hands in his pockets. Walking over, he angles his head to the spot beside you and you nod, reaching over to turn on the lamp. “Well, you’d pick Bucky so, I guess it’s even.”

“Y/N,” he begins but you hold up a hand as your eyes close. 

“Save it, Rogers. It doesn’t matter.” Your teeth clench together and the muscles in your jaw twitches as your eyebrows push down. All you’re trying to do is not cry at the thought of leaving him here on this ship. Taking a shaky breath, you blow it out as Steve puts a hand on yours. Your fingers slot together and you lean towards him until your head is on your shoulder. He tilts his head to press his cheek into your hair and your fingers play together as your other hand brushes over his calloused skin, broken along his knuckles where he’d punch your brother. “None of it matters.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Something wet slides into your hair and you feel it drip down your skin. Placing your hand atop his, you swallow and tell yourself to get it together.

“The most ridiculous part of this whole situation is that I love you,” you tell him because there might never be a chance to tell him again. “Your best friend killed my parents. You beat up my brother and he’s back in New York, bruised and battered and heartbroken, and I’m here.” You raise your head and he turns to look at you. Searching his eyes, you find nothing but grief. He pulls away his hand. “I’m here, instead of there with him.” You laugh because it’s all so stupid and ridiculous. “I’m really here, fraternizing with the enemy.”

This is never how you imagined you would tell Steve you loved him. Never. The first time you tell him you love him is the day it’s over. Fucking poetic, isn’t it. 

“I’m fraternizing with the enemy,” you repeat. Steve’s your enemy. Steve. Your stupid dork is now the enemy of 117 countries and you. The realization slams into you like things you can’t name. Your eyes flicker close and a few tears slip out but you manage to suck the rest in. Steve lets out an exhausted sigh and it feels like you’re both bone-tired this days.

“Y/N, I never wanted this for you. I just wanted to keep you safe.” His hand rises up to touch your face but then he seems to think better of it and lets it drop again. You miss the warm, rough feel of him already and he’s not even gone yet. “If the U.N. did what H.Y.D.R.A. did—”

“I know. I…” You sigh, looking down at the slight space between the two of you. How easy it would be to close it if it were a different time. “It was never a choice between you and Tony. It was a choice between Tony and what I believed in, and I believe in you, Steve. I believe that organizations like S.H.I.E.L.D., like the World Security Council, like some U.N. security panel, can’t be trusted.”

“Then, why? You know what organizations can do. You know that agendas change.”

“We’ve already lost so much. We’ve had too many casualties.” You cup his face, smile bitterly, try to make a joke out of it that you know won’t land. “I was one of them.”

“You can’t say that,” Steve says, turning his face away and you swallow the knot in your throat. 

“Why not? It’s true.” The most horrible thing you’ve ever seen lays within Steve’s eyes in that moment but you move on. “The Accords are still gonna pass whether you’re there or not. It’s a matter of safety, now,” you whisper and his gaze darts to you. His eyes ask a silent question and you dread the answer. “I’m gonna sign. I need to do my job, Steve, even if it means working for some higher power. There’s no other way.”

“So you’ve picked a side.” The distance between you is immeasurably wide, and you wonder how such a huge distance can be fit in such a tiny space.

“Yeah,” you whisper, “I’ve picked a side.” Steve’s face twitches and you take in his sculpted lips and cheeks, his blue eyes that reflect the lamplight and warm golden hair. “Steve, all that matters is we know what we are.” 2012 feels so long ago but it makes you feel younger when Steve tries to smile. Then, he looks down and you have a feeling he can’t even look at you.

At first, you think it’s because you disgust him. It’s not the first time you’ve thought such a thing, but then you realize. He’s terrified of watching you fall out of love with him.

How much you want to tell him that it isn’t possible. But you don’t. You can’t say a thing.

“But you’ve chosen a side,” he replies quietly, almost accusatory if you didn’t know him better. You close your eyes for a moment at his words, and then you turn away. The light is blinding in the hallway, but it’s better than looking at the heartache in Steve’s face. Tears slip down your cheeks as you stand and take the gun.

“You chose yours first.”

Tags: @teawithbucky @jcc04220 @shenala​ @dulharpa

[winmance]

Trust in me - Chapter 24

"That was so cool" Jared says, flopping on the bed "I want to go back everyday"

“Children screaming and running, glitter everywhere, cold, a weird old dude that's supposed to be Santa, and oh yeah, Danneel holding mistletoe over my head for me to kiss her… that’s not what I call “cool”” He sighs, joining him on the bed

Jared laughs, rolling over until he ends up sitting on top of Jensen, his legs on either side of his body.

“Stop being an old grump like that. I know you had fun”

“Yeah, I did” He admits, sliding his hands around Jared’s hips. God, those hips. He can’t even imagine what they’re capable of, but he has a pretty good idea.

Back at the Christmas market, Jared insisted on showing him how he well he could dance, and Jensen has to admit the guy can move his ass just fine.

“I know you did” He says “You’ve been smiling all day. With teeth and everything”

“I had some good company, that must be why”

Jared smiles, bending over so he can press his lips against Jensen’s. He doesn’t use his tongue at first, simply applying gentle pressure, increasing as time goes on.

Jensen isn’t sure of what to do. If he was with a girl, he would slide his hands down her ass and maybe even in her panties. But he isn’t with some random girl. He’s with Jared. Sweet and damaged Jared, and he doesn’t want to do the wrong thing, because God knows Jared has a tendency to over think everything. Not that Jensen blames him. With a life like he's had, trying to figure out every move or word is important.

“Touch me” Jared whispers, moving his lips to Jensen’s jaw “I want it”

“It’s too soon” He says “I don’t want us to rush”

Jared stops kissing him, lifting his head until he can get a better look at Jensen.

“You don’t want to?”

“Don’t” Jensen says, dragging his body closer to him “Don’t let your pretty head get all worked up. I want this. I want you. But I don’t want to ruin everything”

“You won’t” He reassures him “I don’t want to wait any longer, I think we’ve wait plenty long enough already”

Jensen smiles, pushing Jared’s hair behind his ear. He knows Jared is telling the truth, that he wants this, really wants this, and he does, too. But a part of him is still worried he’s doing the wrong thing, that he’s just like his dad, maybe even worse than him.

“We don’t have to do it all the way” He finally says “Maybe we could take it slow?”

Jared thinks about it for a moment before nodding, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Yeah. Ok. We can do that”

Jensen secures his arms around Jared before making him roll over, pinning him down with his body. He starts kissing his neck, slowly going back up until he can bite his ear lobe, a soft moan escaping Jared’s lips as he does.

With his legs around his waist, Jared tries to pull him closer, making his body move just enough for them to have some friction over their dicks.

It’s a weird feeling, to feel someone's dick against yours. It’s not as strange as Jensen thought it would be, just different. He’s not sure if he will know what to do once he's be face to face with the beast, but it shouldn’t be more complicated than being with a woman.

“Feels good” Jared moans when Jensen starts biting on his sweet spot “Too much clothes”

“I Agree” He says, leaving Jared’s delicious skin long enough to get rid of his shirt and push Jared’s hoodie off of him.

Last time he saw Jared naked, there were bruises all over his body, purple and yellow, some old and some news, all mixing together and linked by the traces of someone’s teeth on them. It was awful, made him feel sick to his stomach to know that someone could do this to another human being.

Now, though, Jared’s skin is clear as ever, not a mark of any sort on it, as perfect as the day he was born.

“You’re beautiful” Jensen says, his fingers tracing Jared’s rib cage “So beautiful”

“You’ve said that before” Jared laughs “But thanks. You’re pretty good looking, too”

Jensen shakes his head, a smirk on his face as he leans down to kiss Jared again. He can feel Jared’s fingers slowly making their way toward his crotch, and he decides to do the same, his fingers shaking a little from the excitement.

“We can get naked, right?” Jared asks

“Only if you want to”

“If it was up to me, you would already be ball deep inside my ass, Jensen”

“You kiss your mom with that mouth?”

“Yeah, but I also suck dicks with it”

Jensen can’t suppress a laugh, his whole body shaking with it.

“Such a smartass”

“I’ve been told, yeah”

Jared finally slides his fingers inside his pants, slowly stroking Jensen over his underwear. His hand is still a little cold from outside, making him shiver. He doesn’t know if it’s because he hasn’t had sex in a year or if Jared is really good at it, but he doesn't remember it being this good.

He comes back to his senses and focuses on Jared again, slowly sliding his own fingers into his pants, only to be stopped by Jared’s other hand.

“You don’t have to. I know you've never done it with another man so you can just enjoy it for now. I don’t really need it”

“You don’t need it?” Jensen asks with a frown

“Yeah, I don’t need you to touch me. I can take pleasure from just watching you”

“I want to touch you” Jensen says “I want to make you feel good”

Jared smiles, letting go of Jensen’s hand so he can keep going.

The fact that they’re still wearing their pants doesn’t make things easy, but when he starts to stroke him, slowly going over the head of his dick, he hears Jared moaning softly right in his ear.

“Can we take our pants off?” Jensen asks

“Please yes”

Jensen gets rid of both of their pants as fast as he can before returning between Jared’s legs. This time, there’s only a thin layer between them, creating even more contact.

“Wanna try something” Jensen says as he starts moving against Jared, making sure that their dicks are pressing against each other as much as possible.

He stars rutting against Jared, the whole bed shaking with it as he goes harder, trying to gain more friction. He takes one of Jared’s legs and lifts it up until he has more access, thrusting even harder and faster against him.

“Keep going!” Jared begs, trying to meet Jensen’s thrusts

Jared’s begging goes straight to his cock, and Jensen starts to rut harder, their balls hitting against each other every time, their bodies melding together.

Pre cum is already leaking out of Jensen's cock and he feels like a kid again, bursting into his boxer unashamedly.

But there’s no shame here. Not even a ounce of it. There’s only lust.  Lust, desire, adoration and love.

Jensen feels like a teenager, because he doesn’t remember adult sex being this good and so full of emotions.

“I’m gonna cum” Jared moans, curling his legs around Jensen to get him closer “I can’t- I can’t hold it”

“Don’t hold it” Jensen whispers, kissing his throat. God, how he wants to suck on that beautiful skin. He gets closer to his ear, until he can talk right into his ear “Come for me, love”

Jared’s movements becomes erratic, trying to get Jensen closer while at the same time trying to gain more pressure, until he finally comes, a deep moan escaping his throat as he does so. Jensen tries to suppress the sound by pressing his lips against Jared’s, but it only seems to make him moan louder.

Jensen follows him quickly, coming with what he hopes is nothing more than a whisper. He collapses on top of Jared, exhausted. They breathe heavy against each other, making it hard to find a normal rhythm again. But Jensen doesn’t care.  Laying here feels too good to move.

“Think they heard us?” Jared asks

“Don’t know. Probably not”

“That was really good” He adds “Sorry for coming so fast, though”

“It was perfect” Jensen says, kissing him softly, his fingers sliding in his hair “You were perfect, and you don’t need to apologize. For anything”

Jared smiles, pouting his lips for Jensen to kiss him again, which he does happily.

“Come on, sleep love” Jensen says, rolling over before dragging Jared against his chest “We’ll clean everything up later”

“it’s gonna be sticky” Jared points out, even though his eyes are already closing

“Then we’ll be sticky together”

Jensen doesn't argue the point. Jared is already softly snoring in his arms. Jensen joins him, too comfortable to care about anything else.

Tags : @emmalh2001 @captainsteelandsunshine @servilesammy @jaredbootyylecki @mysterioushunters

[kembungsusu]

Sour cream sugar cookies. Sour Cream Sugar Cookies I. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. These Sour Cream Sugar Cookies are soft and fluffy with just the right amount of sweetness — they're perfect with or without frosting and make a great They are a soft sugar cookie made with sour cream, and they have a fluffy, delicate texture that I find much more appealing. These Soft Frosted Sugar Cookies are one of my all time favorite treats!

This soft sugar cookie recipe is easily worthy of having a. The sour cream adds such a nice tangy flavor and keeps the cookies super moist and soft! If you had to compare these to a store bought cookie, you could definitely say they are a like a Lofthouse cookie, but they are so much better!

Hey everyone, it's me again, Dan, welcome to our recipe page. Today, I will show you a way to make a distinctive dish, sour cream sugar cookies. One of my favorites food recipes. For mine, I will make it a little bit unique. This is gonna smell and look delicious.

Sour Cream Sugar Cookies I. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. These Sour Cream Sugar Cookies are soft and fluffy with just the right amount of sweetness — they're perfect with or without frosting and make a great They are a soft sugar cookie made with sour cream, and they have a fluffy, delicate texture that I find much more appealing. These Soft Frosted Sugar Cookies are one of my all time favorite treats!

Sour cream sugar cookies is one of the most favored of current trending foods on earth. It's enjoyed by millions daily. It is easy, it is quick, it tastes delicious. Sour cream sugar cookies is something which I've loved my whole life. They're nice and they look fantastic.

To get started with this recipe, we have to first prepare a few components. You can have sour cream sugar cookies using 8 ingredients and 12 steps. Here is how you cook that.

The ingredients needed to make Sour cream sugar cookies:

{Take 1 3/4 cup of All purpose flour.

{Get 1/2 tsp of Baking soda.

{Get 1/4 tsp of Salt.

{Take 1/2 cup of (or 1 stick) softened butter.

{Get 1 1/4 cup of Sugar.

{Make ready 1 of Egg.

{Prepare 1 tsp of Vanilla.

{Get 1/2 cup of Sour cream.

These cookies are soft and nearly cake-like and they're just the kind of dependable sugar cookie you want to have in your back pocket. It doesn't really impart any tangy sour cream flavor, but it ensures that the cookies stay fluffy and soft as they bake, which means that when you go to take a bite out of. Gradually add the flour mixture to the sour cream mixture, mixing until well combined. If cookie dough is too thick for your mixer to handle, you can stir it by hand with a wooden spoon.

Instructions to make Sour cream sugar cookies:

Mix butter and sugar until creamy..

Beat in egg and vanilla until blended.

Beat in sour cream.

In separate bowl, mix remaining dry ingredients.

Sift in dry ingredients stirring only lightly until blended in, don't over stir..

Divide dough and shape into two balls..

Wrap ball in waxed paper and refrigerate over night..

Preheat oven to 325°F.

On floured surface, with floured rolling pin, roll one piece of dough to 1/8 inch thick. This is where I has some trouble with the recipe. I hadn't added enough flour in the mix and it was very sticky. I mixed in more flour and placed it in the freezer until it was easier to handle..

With floured cookie cutters, cut as many cookies as you can. Reserve trimmings to reshape and reuse..

Place cookies onto Cookie pan that Has been sprayed with pan baking spray with flour.

Bake 8 minutes, transfer to rack to cool..

These Sour Cream Sugar Cookies are soft and fluffy with just the right amount of sweetness — they're perfect with or without frosting and make a great freezer-friendly holiday cookie! Dissolve baking soda and salt in Sour cream. Roll out and cut with your favorite shapes (Be sure not to roll too thin). Let cookies cool, and decorate with your favorite Icing(I prefer Royal Icing). This sour cream sugar cookies recipe gives you the most pillow-y soft cookie.

So that is going to wrap it up for this special food sour cream sugar cookies recipe. Thanks so much for reading. I am sure you will make this at home. There is gonna be interesting food at home recipes coming up. Remember to save this page in your browser, and share it to your family, colleague and friends. Thank you for reading. Go on get cooking!

[corbinhunter]

I wanted to build a foam pirate ship for my 5e D&D campaign but I couldn't find any resources, so I figured it out for myself. The deck has magnets in it to function as a grid. So... here’s a shitty guide (WITH PICTURES) if you want to build one, too.

If you have done this before or have other resources, link them for others who want to try their hand at it (and so I can see). If you have suggestions on how things could be done faster or better, feel free to leave suggestions for future generations. And for me in case I ever build another one. This was my first time doing anything remotely terrain-y or set-piece-y, so I really can't give very good advice. But I couldn't quite find anything that matched what I wanted to build, so I figured this would be worth posting.

The benefits of building a foam boat instead of just buying a model ship or something come down to: a) scale: built it to 1 inch = 5 feet so your minis look good and any other props or grids you have work seamlessly. b) customizability: include the exact things you want in the game. God forbid if your players trash the ship in the game you can alter the model for a shipwreck or something (@ my players: fucking don't, please). c) accessibility: don't include anything you don't want, so the deck is uncluttered and there are no sails or rigging to try to reach around. Also the flat bottom means it doesn't need a stand. The foam construction makes it lightweight. d) magnets: make everything stick to the deck. The actual reason I built this boat. I love the magnets and they were a good choice.

The cons are: a) it's annoying and takes a long time (not too hard, just tedious). b) it's a bit fragile, especially the details and small bits. c) all your minis need an extra base for the magnets. Or I guess you could maybe stick the magnets into existing bases. I'm not an expert or anything.

This is gonna be the shittiest tutorial you've ever read so prepare yourself.

Actual guide:

1: step one is to draw out the boat. Scale is pretty key. Keep in mind that minis can't really fit on anything that's not a full square, so alter the proportions to maximize playable area. I altered the layout as I went to get rid of awkward spaces. Research galleons and frigates. I focused around 17-18th century but the coolest ships come after that. Make a boat that you love with however much realism you prefer.

2: get yourself supplies. You need:

polystyrene foam, about six pieces 10 inches by 24 inches apiece. I got a 96" sheet and used about half of it.

wood glue

paintbrushes, pens, pencils, scissors, utility knives with lots of spare blades, hot glue gun

drywall mud or something similar

wooden dowels, rods, skewers, toothpicks

popsicle sticks in a couple sizes

grid paper for templates

push pins to hold templates

yarn or string that looks like rope

sandpaper

beads (optional, see detail shots)

fridge magnets for embedding into the deck and attaching to the minis

clay to make a figurehead (not pictured) or a Barbie or something

3: trace out the cross sections (floorplans) onto the foam pieces by pinning grid paper to the foam, and cut them out. The curved deck makes this a real pain, because the floor plans don't perfectly map to the foam pieces. The decks are curved but the foam pieces are not. There's a bit of mental gymnastics in this part but you basically cut each foam piece to its widest dimension, then taper, trim and curve it to fit the profile you want after the basic shape is established. I cut everything out just slightly too large so I could trim and adjust it without losing usable space. After you have the top-down profiles correct, start tackling the side-view, which is the deck profile itself. In that picture just about everything is done but the main deck (fore- and aftdeck are nice and curved but the lowest deck is still flat). Pin it in place with toothpicks and glue it together with wood glue overnight. Leave weight on it. Let it dry for like 12+ hours for sure. I messed with it early and popped the aftcastle off, which was extremely annoying.

4: pick it up as one big solid piece and use a knife to slice away inconsistencies and match up the foam pieces better. Then sand it, mud it, let it dry and sand it again. I used lots of mud on the front edge because my cut-out pieces didn't quite match up. Fill up any weird cracks or miscuts that have developed. You can actually get away with adding quite a bit of mass this way. This is the final shaping of the basic form of the boat. Get a bit excited. Up to this point it's a lot of work for basically a big foam block that looks sort of like a boat. But take your time because you can't un-fuck the symmetry later.

5: paint the main deck, then trace a grid out and install one magnet per space. A drill or something would probably do wonders here. I just used a knife and some wood glue. Make sure every magnet has the same side up, and make sure they are pretty flush with the deck. I made bases for the minis out of foam and installed magnets in the bottom similarly. If you're fancy maybe little wooden or metal bases would be cool. Don't put any of the magnets the wrong way -- all the minis are supposed to be attracted to the boat deck so they don't slide around, fall over or get jostled.

6: cut a bunch of floorboards and paint and install them. Take popsicle sticks, slice off the rounded ends, and split them lengthwise with a knife. Paint roughly with one layer of brown to preserve some of the natural wood grain. Then cut them to various sizes -- whatever you think is right. Half of mine were 2", the rest were 1" or 3". Keep scale in mind. If you make them too wide, it'll kill the look. To fit the planks to the curve of the deck, just gently bend them with your fingers. Spread a layer of wood glue on the deck in sections and use your drawn-on gridlines as guides as you place plank by plank. A pattern would be clever. I just stuck whatever fit on. Go around any features like stairs, grates and masts. I left about an eighth of an inch around the perimeter for the railing/barrier later. Make stairs and stick them into the deck, and carve exterior stairs out of foam and glue them in place. Keep that eighth-inch perimeter in mind as you shape the stairs and place them.

7: base coat the rest of the thing. Don't actually put the masts in here because you'll be fighting with them for the rest of the build.

8: add a thin, 3/4-inch barrier around the perimeter and a prow structure. I traced the deck profile roughly onto paper, drew the barrier, cut it out of the paper, tested it on the ship and adjusted as necessary before transferring it to foam and cutting it out. Be really careful with the thickness. Don't slice it in half or break it. Cut cannon-crenelations out as well as the space where the plank goes. I stuck it down by sticking toothpicks straight down through it into the bare deck. This was probably a mistake. It's not sturdy or precise. I added some hot glue here (for the first time in the build) to fill in little cracks and adhere it better. You're on your own for the prow -- make it out of foam in two halves and glue it on. Good luck. If you look at reference you can make a way cooler one than me.

9: make windows, deck rails, a wheel, cannons, grates, swivel guns, and a border that covers the seam between the deck and perimeter railing. The window-frames are each a single piece of foam sliced thinly and wood-glued into position. If you know how, you could make them out of wood. Deck rails are square foam rails top and bottom, joined by toothpick posts. The wheel is foam with toothpicks stuck into it. The cannons are thin wooden dowels with carved foam bases glued together. Adding wheels to the bases would be cool but fragile and tedious. One of the grates is a foam border with toothpick cross-parts and the other one has a wooden frame made from popsicle sticks. Do whatever you prefer. Swivel guns are little foam tubes with toothpicks that attach them to the railing. This allows them to swivel. You could probably make them out of skewers or something instead of foam. The border (red part along the side) helps hide sloppiness between the hull and barrier, and adds some complexity to the shape. You could make it much thinner than I did if you have a steady hand or a wire foam cutter. Or more patience with sandpaper. Real ships have super cool features like this, so use reference and add whatever you can get away with, I guess. This is probably a better time to add the masts. Sharpen them and jam them in or bore holes and glue them.

10: add painted details, "rigging", nets and ropes, as well as anything else you want. I have a longboat hanging off the back of the ship, but you could also place it in the middle of the main deck. The rigging I added is composed of popsicle stick planks stuck to the side of the ship, with painted wooden beads glued onto that. It's not even nearly accurate, but I think it gives the rough impression of the pulleys that are on real boats. I used gold paint for detailing which I definitely recommend. Netting would be cool but I couldn't find a non-intrusive way to add any. Of course oars, buckets, crates, sacks, lanterns and all sorts of other props will look neat. I opted not to add those in order to keep things simple, as we'd just be taking them off or getting annoyed with them during combat. I made a balcony off the back out of popsicle sticks and stuck/glued it on. It's out of scale, but large enough for characters to stand on. Put little ladder boards onto the side of the ship and anywhere else you want them. Up a mast would be cool. Doorframes and square window-frames can be made with planks like the deck. I decided against any sorts of crow's nests or cross-masts to keep things simple and easy to see/reach around. I think more delicately sculpted embellishments would look very cool added on, but could not figure out a decent way to make them. Printing them out on thick paper, cutting them out and glueing those on might do the trick.

That's the whole guide. I would have done a better one but I forgot to take pictures. Feel free to ask questions and I'll do my best to answer.

[bluenerdmaker]

How to cable manage a computer

It's  time for me to build our news server the  team is growing we've got more people  now accessing the footage so we actually  need to have a way to have a central  place for all of this footage to be  grabbed with all these hard drives any  guesses as to who supplied these yes I'm  actually working with Linus tech tips  and Seagate on this projects we've got a  whole plethora of iron wolf Pro drives  ten terabyte drives but we got to build  a server here so anyway that's actually  not the point today's article though I  wanted to kind of tease what's coming up  today I'm actually gonna show you how to  do cable management probably one of the  most recommended article I've ever been  asked to do and usually I'm like you  just zip tie the thing to the thing and  put it out of the way and you're done  but it continues to be requested and I  thought what better article to do that on  then a article that has a ton of hard  drives and a lot of power cables and  things to try and make that look pretty  so we think that look good you can make  anything look good  today's article is brought to you by Nord  VPN and right now they're giving my  viewers 77 percent off a three year  membership using my link in the  description below guys its 2018 we are  more connected than we have ever been we  have smart phones in our pockets our  laptops and we are on the move so it's  time to start taking your internet  security serious now VPN stands for  virtual private network and it does  exactly what it sounds like it should it  keeps you private when you're connected  to the Internet you never know who's  looking at your information so stop them  by encrypting your data the nor VPN uses  a military-grade encryption and they  have more than a thousand servers in 61  countries across the world and that  number is growing every single week  including regions like China and the  Middle East with the constant changing  landscape and laws and litigation  regarding net neutrality is more  important than ever to take your online  security serious so save 77% off your  three-year membership at Nord VPN by  using my link in the description below  that's Nord VPN comm / J's two cents  let's see what the parts are going this  build real quick this will start with  the main platform this is the X $2.99  workstation from Asus so you might  notice I have an X 99 for a box up here  because that's what they sent it in this  was actually an early access board I  don't know if it's fully out yet I'm a  little disappointed I'm gonna say that  up front simply because they  dramatically stripped the number  SATA ports that are on this the old one  had like 14 this one has six so I'm  really disappointed which means the  build is not going to be fully  functional today because I have to add a  SATA controller or RAID controller on  there so there's going to be some are  gonna be on the rate controller some are  going to be on board which kind of  stinks I would like to have all been  handled on board but I digress that's  not that important we'll get that  working out so we're running a seventy  nine hundred X ten core twenty thread  CPU we're gonna be running I want to run 64 gigs of DDR four I've got 32 here for now we'll probably be adding more to this because this is going to be an interesting build it's not just the nez it's gonna be also doubling as a workstation so it's gonna be a physical box and a virtual machine and a server all-in-one so that's where this is obviously a little bit different than the typical like 45 drives projects that Linus was working with and with Seagate mines gonna obviously be tailored to the needs that we have here now I've got a Titan XP actually it's a Titan X little P no not a little Pete whatever it's always it's confusing it's always confusing this is not the newest one it has a DVI port but we're not actually using this for gaming this is going to be our pass-through this is gonna be used to actually communicate between VM and physical box not for gaming so we're using this simply because of the amount of CUDA cores and the throughput speed that this has so don't confuse this as a gaming rig and we also have two one terabyte SSD now drives.

These are going  to be our cache drives for all of these  spinning mechanical drives so that's  what these are going to be for you guys  might notice here we also have a master  wood master wat maker  1200 big giant heavy power supply  because of all of these drives and stuff  we're gonna be adding as much power as  possible just for safety we're gonna be  cooling it with the Celsius s 36 now is  torn on this because this is also  doubling as a server not just a  workstation we want reliability so  that's why we're not doing a custom  water-cooled rigid tube or any of that  stuff because if something fails in this  system we need to be able to fix it fast  and if we're going with a custom loop  fast is not really part of that  algorithm so we're gonna be using a  Celsius s 36 now the reason why I'm  going with an a IO because I was still  kind of torn on doing that versus air is  because this system is also going to be  render article and it's doubling as our ingest station which means it's the it's the station we're going to be bringing all of our footage to our server I want to keep the CPU as cool as possible because it's going to be doing it's going to have allocated course for the VM it's gonna be allocated cores for the rendering station we want to keep it cool that way we can run faster clocks and get better performance out of premiere but the reason why I chose the Celsius s 36 specifically is again one cable to make all the fans work so I don't want to have a lot of cables going everywhere and an a IO is easy enough to replace if it goes bad and then we are going to be putting this in the brand-new gunmetal fractal design r6 because of all of that harddrive support and I can still fit a front-mounted radiator if I want to front mount this or we can put it on top but I don't have to sacrifice drive storage or water cooling I can have both and because I can fit all of those hard drives in there that is why we chose that now I've got 15 of these terabyte are these 10 terabyte drives that's a hundred and 50 terabytes I don't know if they're all  gonna be going in this build right now  but we're gonna be putting in as many as  we can so we've got a few extra drive  cages that we stole out of a couple of  the other r6 as we have laying around  here just to get as many as we can in  there so without further ado let's build  it and then that's cable manager  [Music] so obviously we just built all of this to get the perfect well this is like a perfect storm look at these are all the cables I've got to get to fit inside this box neatly so what I like to do first of all when I'm doing my cable management is I connect everything to the power supply first a lot of people like to connect to the component and then to the power supply but I find it easier to deal with if I've got the power supply pre-mounted and all the cables hanging out now.

I haven't installed anything yet cable wise except for the front panel connectors and the USB 3.0 I've got my fan headers over here so we're gonna we're gonna see how well I can actually do with this this I've got my work cut out for me because I chose also the master watt maker cooler master maker maker whatever they called themselves now the look at this 24-pin connector this thing is massive I mean that's this is this is we got an obd ii scanner for a car anyway so what you notice here is i have all eight drives put in right here now one of the reasons why I have arranged like this as you can see I still have room down here for excess cables now you might look at this and think well that's blocking off all the airflow it's actually not there's quite a bit of gap in between each one of these hard drives so this is set up pretty well we've got a little bit of airflow up top we've got airflow on the bottom so I think this is a really good example of making sure you have enough space to hide cables because really cable management as nothing more than hiding them and then trying to route cables together now something else you're gonna need obviously a zip ties or lots of twist ties something to hold the cables together and what you're going to notice I do when I'm doing this is you're gonna find me zip tying things together and then clipping it and redoing it and clipping it and redoing it and probably wasting zip ties but it's because I like to kind of hold things in place while I'm planning and then when I'm done at the end then I zip tie everything together now I'm gonna set these aside for now these are gonna be less and the reason why I do this last is because if you've ever dealt with SATA power or SATA cables these little plastic tabs are easy to break off so as we're moving cables around and stuff I don't want to accidentally break anything on our nice expensive hard drives so we're gonna do now is we're gonna kind of separate our power based on logic we're gonna take out 24-pin we're gonna take our PCI Express cable the PSU power for this motherboards are this PSU zl-- interesting where normally they would split into two four pins at the end Coolermaster just chose to split it apparently all the way down the sleeve so I'm gonna set those aside because now I can visually see okay this I know these are four main components these are all my SATA plugs for my hard drives my fan controller from fractal and then our two SSDs right here because I've got length on this never got pigtail on this I want this to be a part of this cable harness that's gonna go this way so now I know okay I need one harness it has three going over here and two harnesses over here because I've got as you can see four SATA connectors per cable or four harness I've got two of those going this way and one of them going this way so you can kind of see I'm sort of visualizing now how the separation of the wiring is going to go now fortunately the r6 has a lot of well-thought-out cable management tie down spots.

We got velcro straps here  we've got loops all over the place to  allow us to zip tie to so I'm gonna go  ahead and do now the main components and  get those out of the way so that I only  have to deal with all of our all of our  accessories so the r6 also has it's very  own fan controller on here allowing me  to have again one connection point to  deal with pretty much all my fans you  notice what I did right here though is  it kind of took the length and then I  sort of just folded it over till I had  sort of a clump of wires here if you  will and trying to make it all sort of  the same length so we'll kind of do that  again so you can see see they're not  exactly the same length but if I take  them and just sort of fold it like this  now we've made a single harness here  it's much easier for us to just zip tie  and get it out of the way something else  that really helps too is to have a set  of side cutters so that you can just  sort of snip it and move it out of the  way I'm sort of just getting things  where I want them to be  then I will clean it up I don't try and  do it all in one pass so it's going to  take this behemoth have a 24-pin I'm  gonna go ahead and use this guy right  here and I'm gonna just sort of push this through like that now I can plug it in yet I'm just gonna sort of get it out of the way same thing with my PCI Express I'll have both of these cables coming through the same grommet so that again I can route these together to get him out of the way now I don't think I have anything else that's gonna actually go up through this harness right here with the velcro so I'm not gonna tighten it down yet tight I'm just gonna sort of route this like that again dealing with visuals here visualize it see already I velcroed this one I shouldn't have because I'm gonna do eight pin DPS power up through here as well usually I'll come up like this for eight pin power but I think in this case because I don't have a lot of length I'm just gonna have this follow up through the main channel as well and then I'm just gonna push that through for now so if I flip this around you can see oh my god this is heavier than I expected it to be with all those drives you can see nothing's plugged in yet we set of cables is sort of flopping around here but that's because we can't start to strap anything down in the back until we have all of the slack out of the front so that's why I kind of do things in this in this manner I just sort of slowly give things a way to go and get them out of the way so we are almost to the point where we can start nailing this down this guy I think I'm just going to leave running right along the bottom right here because this is what's gonna get power to my two SATA drives here and my fan controller and then these are the two that are gonna go here now instead of routing this around the outside of this support bracket right here I'm gonna put this on the inside because I've got more room there so why the heck not but I think this is the part that a lot of people make mistakes on they just start tying everything down as they're plugging in and then they realize oh crap I need to redo it  now as tempted as I am to start plugging  these in I'm not gonna do this yet again  I want anything to do with SATA power or SATA cables to be the last because I don't want to break those plastic tabs.

So now we're gonna start plugging things in on the front side so this has to kind of fold this way because of where the little retaining clip is so I'm gonna push that back through and I'm gonna go ahead and give me my bend now plug this in here and there's that and as you can see because it's flat cables I just routed it all flat like that and now the slack is sticking through on the backside all right so I'm just gonna relocate it to this bottom grommet here so it looks a little less crowded up here although the appearance of this truly doesn't matter this is a purely function over form build it would bother me so the only thing left to do on the front now is going to be our eight pin power which is up here at the top and this one is usually pretty tight so I like to lay the computer flat I mean just a whole lot easier to install these when the case is flat because you're looking down so much more natural so again just push the slack out the backside and now we'll work on the actual cable management so remember how I said that these cables were kind of twisted in there so what I did was I unplugged these from the power supply side so that I can sort of lay these all flat like they need to be and now I'm gonna start sort of zip tying these together as sort of a harness they're flat cables they're designed for them to be able to get really flat obviously behind motherboard panels and case panels so it's gonna allow you to have more room plus you can see just how much neater this is but what I also do is I'll get a few started but I won't crank them down as tight as I can I wanna be able to slide them along the harness if I need to adjust where they're actually you know grabbing on to our cables tighten those down cut off our excess and you can see we get a much neater appearance here so and look at that what you just look at it little zip tie pro tip that I like to do is just once these are done and clipped is just sort of rotate that behind that way just has a nice cleaner look but now that we're done with this cable I can go and plug this back into the power supply side of things and get this out of the way ok so the next area focus that I'm going to focus on here and I'm saying the word focus a lot let's focus on all but focusing on focusing on we are going to do the same thing with the eight pin EPS there's a loop  right here on top of this case and this  is what we are going to use to strap it  down up top  now that loop is probably gonna be kind  of hard to push a zip tie through this  what you can do is you can take the end  of the zip tie and sort of bend it like  a hook so you take this like a hook and  just sort of hook it through the eyelet  there and money it's not that's ready to  go we can just sort of collect our wires  up here at the end of our zip tie and  then these guys will be ready to go but  once again don't tighten it down just  get it started because we might end up  needing to move this guy because we want  to control the amount of slack.

We have down here too and we can do that up here by actually allowing this to sort of Bend like that if that makes sense so make sure we're not too much slack on that side so I'm pretty comfortable with how that is go ahead and just tighten that down enough to where it won't move so with the flat cables you want to try and get them to be as flat as possible make sure they're all sort of going the same direction and then you can zip tie them down on the radius in the middle of the cable and then for me again down here on this radius we're gonna clip  these little tails off  try not to clipping who hires I have  done that I have clipped wires while  clipping zip ties rotate these so  they're not showing and we're gonna  route this guy right here next to our 24  pin now our 24 pin PCI Express and 8 pin  power are done and out of the way  someone do this area next I've got  eyelet here here and there which is  awesome so because I know I need SATA  power here in here I just kind of want  to get it somewhere in this part of the  case if it's there that it's more dangly  and in the way on this part of the case  we sawed up open unobstructed space  there I'm not gonna put anything in this  eyelet because I want to have some slack  right there I mean I could I'd still be  alright but maybe I'll do that at the  end now in terms of the SATA cables  I'm not going to route this up and  around because as you can see that would  not work so I'm just going to go ahead  and focus on getting these plugged in and back in their spot so it's better to remove the drive when you go to plug it in then to try and finagle because again if you're trying to get it in there and you pretty much force on this plastic you're gonna break it so unhook it do yourself a favor and then once you get it put it back on the case tighten it down you know that one so I'm just gonna kind of squeeze those wires together like that take the slack plug this into let's go to this one so we have an extra slot left if I ever need it for lighting or something and then I'm literally gonna just sort of push that kind of out of the way now we're gonna do the power PCI Express power cables for our graphics cards exact same philosophy that I showed you when I did the eight pin and the 24 pin make it flat zip tie it together  snip our little tails off of there have  your tools out of reach that's important  part of cable management and then we are  going to just we're gonna borrow this  one right here now we're because we're  not gonna be going back in there and now  we can pull it fairly tight and that's  what that looks like here's what we've  got left we've got the two SATA  harnesses for our hard drives and let's  just start for up one two three four  plug this guy in and give it a little  loop look that guy in a little loop put  that guy in a little loop and put that  guy in then we take the loops gently and  don't put any lateral force on that  gently flatten the loops so now we're  going to do the same thing and we're  going to run on the left side of the  SATA we can't run to the right side  because if we do we have the SATA plugs  right there and that worked out  perfectly so now if we go forth from the  top one make a loop to make loop so we  do the same thing so give a little  crease run that one right over the top  and there is our power for our hard  drives last thing I'm gonna do just like  you guys saw me do on the other ones I'm  going to zip tie these two together  right at the bottom so now I'm just  gonna do the same thing with USB 3.0 and  zip tie these together anyone that's  worked with USB 3.0 cables know that  they are a mess they are stiff  they don't want to bend they're always  in a double harness like this and  they're just a complete pain.

But they are a necessary pain because USB 3.0 so the HD audio I'm just gonna kind of push I'll go along the floor that just to get it out of the way but I'm not hooking this up to anything because like I said I don't use HD audio for anything I never use frontside audio connectors so this already looks great I mean everything is managed you can tell where everything's going I mean could you ask for anything better  oh yeah we're forgetting something are  we SATA cables so I'm gonna go ahead and  do all these SATA Refurbished cables at once here  but it's the same logic that I just  applied and showed you guys with the  rest of the case the only reason I do  these last is because like I said I  don't want these plugged in getting  yanked on and breaking the plastic tabs  on the drives so yeah we're to go ahead  and do this we'll come back at the end  see how it looks and then we'll wrap it  up but guys this is how you take a case  like this ten hard drives including the  SSDs and make it look I mean that's  better cable managing some systems I've  seen that have one hard drive so anyway  let's go ahead and see what this looks  like when we're done  [Music] well guys here it is this is what the front looks like and this is the business and the side you see this is the part where most of the time if people are fine with how this looks they don't care how the backside looks but obviously this is a tutorial about cable management and this is how it looks even with all of the SATA cables so you can kind of see what I did right here I've got the cables routed together this is a separate harness of cables this is gonna go to my SATA controller for my RAID controller when that comes in so I've got them harnessed and ready to go so once that's plugged into my PCI Express slot I just plug those in and we're good to go  but you can see we don't have a huge  clump of cables down there we've got  good airflow everything is easy to trace  that's what cable management's all about  being able to trace your cables if you  have to fix something or play something  rewire something then you're able to see  where it is and follow it easily anyway  you guys want ask me forever to do a  how-to cable manage article this is it  I chose probably one of the more  difficult scenarios with all these  drives so it scales down from here  alright guys we're gonna go now thanks  for watching today's article if you guys  have any suggestions let me know  that's how article like this come about  if you're new around here or you enjoy  today's article won't you consider giving  a like and subscribe if you're new  anyway thanks for watching guys we will  see you in the next one.

[mishaxdleggfn96insurance-blog]

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