#gonna start gaslighting people into thinking when day breaks is real

[artcayt]

Little poster thing of SCP 001: When Day Breaks cause its rotting my brain

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

OK, one more. I'm on a secret admirer thing right now. How about some head-cannons about the yandere vice-dorm leaders as a secret admirer.

Thank you!

Yes yes yes I can do that!

ALSO WAS ANYBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT RUGGIE ISN'T THE VICE DORM LEADER OF SAVANNACLAW?! LIKE, I WAS SURE HE WAS, BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG. (I'm adding him to this out of spite)

Warning(s): drugging, kidnapping, implications of wanting to injure the reader, mind control, accidental(?) gaslighting, stalking, Lilia's part might not be great because I genuinely had no idea what to do

Trey Clover

Trey would send you hand-made baked goods every day!

Often along with a short letter signed by "your secret admirer"

Along with the letters and baked goods, he also sends you flowers!

Of course, Trey is the first person you expect when your secret admirer's calling card so to say is sending you baked goods and flowers

But, luckily for him, he's good at throwing you off his trail. He'll send a few things that make you believe it could be someone else...

To be fair, you don't know many other people who attend NRC, maybe it is someone other than Trey.

As the days go on, the letters get... more intense.

It's clear this person, your secret admirer, wants you now.

Tonight, Trey's putting something special in the pastry he's making you

After you eat it, he'll visit you and bring you home with him.

"Morning, (Y/N). Did you have a good sleep? Did the pastry taste good? You know, I used a sprecial family recipe for tha- Huh? What's with that face? You don't have any reason to be shocked, I'm sure you knew this was going to happen, those letters I sent you did have a few red flags..."

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie would be very good at hiding his identity from you

I mean, don't you think a man like him would be good at keeping secrets?

Ruggie doesn't send you baked goods or flowers, or anything like that... he instead sends you stuff he either stole or bought with Leona's money.

Candies, jewels, food... anything Ruggie can find, he'll send to you (and keep a bit for himself, obviously)

Day after day, you'll be given these gifts... and you appreciate it so much, you wish you knew who was giving them to you!

You'll even tell Ruggie about it. You'll tell him you have some kind of secret admirer, and how they've been giving you lots of gifts, and how badly you wish you knew who was sending them so you could thank that person directly!

Ruggie smirks to himself when you say that.

"Should I tell 'em...? Nah, not yet. I'll let things keep playing out until they give hints that they actually like me. Shishishi! Won't that be fun? (Y/N)'s gonna be real shocked when they find out it's me giving 'em those gifts! Grammy likes them, so marriage won't be a problem... I'm sure the rest o' the family will love 'em too!"

Jade Leech

Jade's love letters are... special.

The letters are very hastily written, like whoever wrote it's life depended on it.

They talk about hurting you, doing these horrible things to you... whoever your secret admirer is, they have a very messed up mind.

Jade makes you believe you can go to him for support.

"That sounds terrible, (Y/N). But you have no reason to worry, you can always turn to Octavinelle for protection."

You continue receiving these threatening letters... they get worse every day.

When you start to actually feel unsafe, you remember how Jade told you that you can always go to Octavinelle for protection, and while you don't exactly want to go to them for protection... what other option do you have?

The moment Floyd sees the letter, he tells you the truth.

"Oh yeah, Jade wrote that."

Huh. Jade Leech wrote these threatening letters to you? Jade Leech, vice housewarden of Octavinelle... the dorm you're currently in? Uh oh.

"Dear me, I wasn't intending on revealing myself this soon... though I suppose I have no choice now. I was intending on building your trust towards me and once things have progressed enough, reveal that I was the author, then breaking you entirely so you love only me, but... I guess I'll have to construct another plan. (Y/N), this will only hurt for a second."

Jamil Viper

Jamil, much like Trey, sends you home-made food.

You like the food so much! Who knew having a secret admirer could be this fun?

Jamil is good at keeping himself hidden from you, he's also a patient person. He'll keep himself hidden for as long as is necessary.

Kalim often invites you to the parties he throws... though, strangely enough, whenever you arrive, he seems not to recall inviting you.

"Oh well! The more the merrier, you know? I'm sure Jamil won't mind making a bit more food for you!"

But Jamil never has to make more food for you. Almost like he knew you were coming even though Kalim didn't.

One day, you receive a letter.

Come meet me in Scarabia dorm's lounge. I'll be waiting for you. - Your secret admirer

When you go there, you find Kalim. Kalim, standing there, empty.

"(Y/N)... he's waiting for you."

You hear a whisper in your ear, and then you forfeit all control of your body to Scarabia's vice housewarden.

"I'm glad everything worked out in the end."

Rook Hunt

Oh Rook, where to begin with Rook?

He sends you love letters every day in the form of poems signed by "ton admirateur secret"

Due to the ecessive use of French, you have your suspicions as to who's sending you these

Vil is close to Rook, so you ask him about it, but...

"No, it can't be Rook. He only has that kind of fascination with the inhuman students, like the beastmen, fae, and what little merfolk we have here. He wouldn't send that to a typical, not to mention magicless, human like you. It must be someone else."

Having no other evidence, you just assume Vil's right, and Rook isn't sending you letters...

It drives you crazy

You're determined to find out who is sending these, you begin staying up several nights in a row, just reading these letters over and over and over again...

You can only come to the conclusion that it was Rook.

So you ask him about it one day and...

"Oui. It was I sending those letters to you. I assume this is you coming to accept my confession?"

Well, even if you try to run, you can't escape from Rook. Even if you do, you two attend the same school so he'll just keep stalking you...

"Hm? What was that, mon amour? You do accept? Merveilleux! Let's talk to the Headmage sometime tomorrow! We'll discuss you transferring to my dorm so we can be even closer- Quel? You say you don't want that? Oh, mon amour, you have no idea what you truly want."

Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia is a very sweet secret admirer

He hides the fact that he is, to put it lightly, obssesed with you amazingly well (the others could learn a thing or two from him...)

It's just cute love letters! No stalking implications, no dubious baked goods, no talking about hurting you, nothing, just genuine confessions of love from a secret admirer!

Lilia can't help but watch over you

And then, well... dead bodies start turning up at the school

Of course, the Headmage only cares about what this will do to the overall public image of NRC...

Lilia takes care of you, from a distance

Lilia shows up directly at your door one day. He hands you a sewing needle, and then disappears into nothing.

A sewing needle? Why?

Well... spinning wheels aren't exactly that common nowadays.

As you examine the sewing needle, you accidentally prick your finger on it...

The next thing you know, you're in Lilia's arms

"Ah, you're finally awake, my dear. Did you enjoy your hundred-year-long dream? No no, there's no reason to cry! I know this is hard for you to understand... I know you're scared and confused, but everything will turn out ok. I only did this for your sake. To protect you."

[not-goldy]

"Are Jikook even real?" LOL at least you tried.

There are two people from a TV show I watch. Both had partners they were with when the show first started. Somewhere along the way, those two coworkers/Costars started hanging out alone on private time, dressing alike & making regular trips to Disneyland together. Then more trips & outings together wearing matching clothes. Suddenly they stopped talking about their partners & then came TWO break-up confirmations. Shocker. They're partners left & those two are still glued together, dressing a like, taking regular trips to Disneyland & now posting coupley pics together on IG wearing matching outfits at Disneyland etc. No confirmation from either that they're dating, but none is needed because its literal proof of having no respect for your partners regardless & NO ONE is gonna stick around & watch their partner humiliate them like that publicly, no matter how long you been together. What they're doing is NOT part of their job description. They were even accused of doing fanservice since their characters are dating on the show, til they had break ups with their Longterm partners. Who the hell wants to sit at home while your partner is dressing up in matching couple clothes & keeps going on alone trips together with their coworker, without you or other friends? We aren't talking normal coworker friend outings with friends. We're talking crossing boundaries leaning into intimacy with someone who isn't your partner.

This isn't me using this as proof Jikook are real, but I am saying that Jikook's behavior no matter who they're dating, would be considered shitty, hurtful, embarrassing and inexcusable, because who the hell spends couple holidays together several times in public & not with their own partners, dating or not? When have you seen Yoonmin, Vmin or TK spend couple days together in public or confirm hickeys after a drunken night together or Lay in bed half naked flirting with each other in front of millions, begging the other over or sending questionable thirst traps for each other's bdays? Y'all treating Jikook as if this is some fanfiction & not real life behavior they're doing, which would be considered both physical & emotional cheating. Y'all can piss off trying to gaslight me into thinking Jikook are dating other members & this is normal acceptable bro behavior, when I know damn well it isn't.

Published 💜

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!

I see that you’ve been asking people to ask you for fic recs to help post some of the lists you’ve had saved for awhile.

So what’s a list that you’re really proud of but is for something kind of obscure that you don’t think anyone will ask for?

(referencing this post)

Hey Lovely!

AHHH Thank you for asking!

Ahhh, not REALLY??? I do have some lists that have been sitting ready to post for awhile, so I'm gonna give y'all one of those ones!

I know that I've been asked for this one a lot in the recent past, so let's do this one! Enjoy!

HURT / COMFORT Pt 4 - 50K+ Pt. 1

See also:

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 3: 10K to 50K Words

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w. || Character Injury, Introspection) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Lost Without My Blogger by starrysummernights (E, 52,155 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, PTSD, Hurt / Comfort, Fluff / Angst, Psychological Torture, Reunion Fic, Friends to Lovers) – John is abducted and declared dead. How will Sherlock cope without his blogger? How will he react when John comes back from the "dead?" Drama and angst with a healthy dose of romance. Part 1 of I'd Be Lost Without My Blogger

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love,  Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,493 w. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.

Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (E, 87,987 w. || Vampire AU || Bonding, Vampire Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, H/C, John Whump, Magical Realism) – John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn't human. His vampirism doesn't pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Heart In The Whole by verityburns (E, 101,650 || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Blindness, Drama & Angst, H/C, First Time) – Events after 'The Great Game' leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own...

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.  Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w. || Established, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

To Light Another's Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John's care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Developing Relationship, Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Fallen Series by Belladonna_Q, mamishka (T, 222,094 w. across 3 works || Winglock || Angel!John, Angels & Demons, Faes, Christianity, Changelings) – In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

[transdib]

every day i live in a passive limbo, waiting for the moment i suddenly feel better and can confront my anxiety, paranoia, and loneliness.

i feel like i have been shattered, and left in pieces with no glue to be put back together.

every day my existentialism and history of being gaslit dominates my brain and i can never make sense of my thoughts and feelings. i am constantly second-guessing myself, and implanting intentions that weren't previously there. i feel like i am required to have constant self-awareness, and to not have so means that i am Obviously Insane and Unsalvagable.

people on the outside would think im just a very holistic thinking person. which is true, and can be a good thing. but honestly? it's detrimental to how i perceive myself. i cannot unabashedly live in the moment of anything. i am, by default, viewing myself from a third person perspective in a hyper critical way. i feel afraid to fall into any category of people or labels, because to claim anything about myself is felt to either be a lie, a mockery of people who are "really" that thing, or it's attention seeking (which of course is the worst thing you could ever do right?)

even claiming to be existential causes a fear and anxiety that i am being pretentious or not self aware that it's a very human experience. my detachment from the world, my trauma, my existentialism, none of it is important or matters because others experience it too.

i cannot begin to describe what gaslighting does to the brain.

what it's done to me.

i dont even wanna claim ive become very isolated because others also experience it. id say the lockdowns from 2020-2021 triggered this, but i think more and more and realise that i wouldve done this when my mum died, or even earlier had i not had a confident person with friends take me under their wing.

i feel my whole life has come into question. i feel like my old home, my old life, my friends and pet and loved ones, dont exist anymore. i feel like im a dead person, looking back on their life and realising who i really was. all the mistakes and inconsiderate behaviours i ever done. it just fuels the fire of the gaslit brain.

everything i ever do or feel is a contradiction. i dont matter to others, but i also have more of an impact on others than i realise. the impact i have matters more than what im ever feeling, and for me to not be self aware of that clearly demonstrates how selfish and horrible i truly am.

maybe it's why people think im such a giving, non-judgemental, and sweet person. im not. im angry. im subjugated. im frightened. like a deer in the headlights, i have no choice. im easygoing and agreeable because i am scared of disagreeing or giving my thoughts through normal debate. because doing so in the past has caused assumptions about me, or intentions skewed or created. my words did not matter, but also they did.

i dont know how to just. start talking to people again. i have been given advice from people who have dealt with isolation but. i know the secret is to challenge yourself and do things even when you dont feel ready, because youll never feel ready, but how? i have lost so much. i dont have the support i need to do something so brave. because i am a coward who avoids and runs away. thats probably manipulative for me to do anyway. ive dug myself into a hole i cant climb out of. ive literally made it worse for myself for no reason. and now i cant even face the consequences of my own inaction.

but why would i wish for people to be there for me when i cant even be there for them? i know i would be there for them, in a heartbeat, but i cannot right now. thats selfish and manipulative to say i guess but. it's not fair that others dont get considered as a result of me not considering myself. mental illness makes you selfish. it makes you not a good friend.

i want to be a real friend.

dont wanna break when i bend.

.....

i have a therapist im gonna be seeing every 2 weeks. if this doesnt work out, then idk what i'll do. i have settled for the most part, and when life feels good, when my roots are grounding and growing in england, it feels good. i dont have many friends here, but i am happy with my partner and his friends, but it feels like i have so many loose ends and a life i have left behind that i cant face. and i am guilty when i experience happiness, let alone share it. because that doesnt align with my narrative that im suffering. which i am, but, i am also trying to survive and live in the life i currently have.

i guess that's what happens to the gaslit brain.

but i have to believe things will get better.

because if i don't

then what?

[wibble-wobbegong]

Hot take: I think people moved on too quickly when it was pointed out that El also treated Mike bad in their relationship. Like people will write paragraphs about how bad he was but I rarely see acknowledgment for El's wrongdoings. Then again, I rarely venture out from my dash so maybe I'm just not seeing it

I have a feeling its because people are too afraid to talk about her negatively because of how well liked she is. I know that's why I'm on anon lol

Another hot take: Mike did not owe El the 'I love you'. They're young, I know many adults who would claim they'd be moving too fast. I know that El just wants to be loved and Mike's not showing it but pressuring him to say I love you made me really uncomfortable. Maybe this one is just me...

(Disclaimer, I love El dearly these aren't anti-El, this is just me acknowledging that she has done some wrong things)

that first hot take is 100% true. i see it more on my side, but not nearly as much as i see mike being criticized for stuff

like when mike saw el hit angela, he had that reaction for a reason. mike has only ever thought violence was okay if it was to protect others and he didn’t hear what angela said to el. as far as mike knew, she’d just gotten humiliated and laughed at and as much as that’s a sucky thing to go through he’s been through it himself. that’s why he’s trying to understand her rationale the next day, because he’s never seen her hurt people for reasons other than to protect either. he was upset because mike doesn’t like violence, but he prefers it over letting his friends get hurt (might have something to do with seeing will getting hurt by lonnie as a kid). we were given el’s perspective so we felt bad for her, but the way she acted during their conversation the next day wasn’t just dismissing mike’s experiences but also mike’s chance at really understanding what happened. mike was putting in effort where el wasn’t in that situation, but he was wrong for the way he acted too during dinner and with gaslighting her about the “i love you” bit

completely agree with that second bit too, though i think it’s a little more complicated than that. it obviously wasn’t a good thing, but this is one thing i don’t think el was necessarily wrong for. i’m gonna go on a bit of a rant real quick

the very start of mike and el’s relationship was mike promising to take her to the snowball and take care of her; he promised her a relationship and love. he was 12, he had no idea what he was doing, but he holds himself to promises and tells el that it’s something you can’t break. el’s only understanding of what a romantic relationship is comes from the TV she watched in season 2, which never showed any aspects of a relationship beyond the happy, easy, overly romantic bits. when she finally encounters an issue in her relationship with mike for the first time, she dumps him (with max’s advice).

neither of them seemed like they were planning on getting back together until el came back in October. she’s probably finally moving through the stages of grief, but that leaves a huge hole in her life. she no longer has hopper’s love or his care, which took up a vast majority of the previous year and a half of her life. el needs something to fill that, and mike promised that he’d love her and take care of her so she looks to him for that once again. it’s not a conscious action, but an emotional reaction to losing her father. she isn’t as close with anyone in the way she was close with hopper and mike. mike was paralleled to hopper very often for a reason. el is searching for mike to emotionally fill the void hopper’s death left because that’s what he promised he would do for her

neither of them are at fault in this situation and neither of them are wrong. it’s making you uncomfortable because that’s what it’s supposed to do. the entire thing is incredibly uncomfortable when you really step back and look at it, but it’s also really, really sad.

but those are my opinions on those takes. thanks for sending them in!! :)

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 70-100

part three of the list of personal highlighs, shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends’ ears off irl. For whom it may concern.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still, massive massive spoilers ahead

That moment where Hardwon almost came back as a gnome tho, right after Murph explains how he left that option in as a joke

The wrestling! Jake and Emily rolling the exact same three times in a row!

so much good parents content in this episode! Also Melora is back, I adore her. The concept of an anti-authoritarian deity is so funny. “No don't listen to me! But do. But don't!”

I’m with Emily, Murph doing Elvish is the actual worst thing to ever happen

“I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch in my relationship but that’s okay because I found a book that lets me kill my dad.” “Everything’s coming up Beverly!”

“You can’t tell us your character’s name, Zac, because they haven’t met you yet.” “And they never will!” “Yeah, I kept telling you they’re not going to the Frigid North but you wouldn’t listen.” “I keep heading north.” “I keep telling you, they’re south, they’re so far south -”

Zac’s characters gaslighting an NPC is always funny. *badly tells a bold-faced lie* “Why would I lie about that?”

“Unsheep him immediately!”

Ren’s laughter is INFURIATING

“Yeah, he lost both contacts. Both contacts just shot out of his eyes when he was giving the speech earlier.”

I cannot for the life of me figure out if any of them are actually good singers or not

Pursuit of Dragon Eggs

Zac “unofficial King of the One-liner” Oyama at it again with the perfect character intro: “Mavrus the Unschooled who… forgot this assignment”

Genuinely I just want to be as effortlessly funny as Zac for a single day. Just to know what it’s like to live like that.

Finally a realistic magical tournament - now with bathroom breaks!

-

Mawmaw is back! I love her so much

Lucanis doting on his newfound daughter is so sweet

“We shall meet at dawn!” “That’s so early, can we do like nine?”

Murph doing out of touch aristocrats (the “SilvONE percent”, Caldwell is on FIRE) is GOLDEN. “Ren, keep working on yourself.” “I won’t.”

The Boobs getting Balnor a mechanical tuna that sings Chasing Cars

Also this might be the first time I’ve seen the DM carrying on a bit for so long it actively stalls the plot, and I loved every dumb second of it

Murph trying to introduce Cooter’s new high eleven girlfriend, fucking up and calling her his wife instead, and having to take that in stride

“Nice cape, my champion.” “Oh, do you like it? I got it expressly to impress you.” HARDWON

“It’s fourteen platinum. I know you have many slides to build.” “Yes, this will go a long way to build the parliamentary water park.”

-

Progressively useless shop links

The bit about them trying to get Murph to give up the cliffhanger while on tour is so funny because a) the idea that Jake would be the one to go looking for Murph’s notes while Emily and Caldwell keep him busy when they are literally IN EMILY’S ROOM and b) that he’d somehow have to try to break in when it is LITERALLY ALSO EMILY’S ROOM

Caldwell calling Murph “Daddy Murphy”, “Daddy DM” and “Teacher” in quick succession while trying to get away with some Classic Beverly Bullshit absolutely sent me

“I’m just gonna keep stabbing at the slit… and think nothing of the implications.” “Thanks, I hate it.” Well so do I, Murph, but you’re the one who gave this group an environment with a slit in it that people can push a sword through so. should have seen that coming a mile off

Of course I’d reach the extremely horny part of this episode while I’m standing in line at the supermarket 🙈

I was starting to think that maybe Murph had finally shaken his dice curse, but then he’s rolling for that fight at the casino with the bullywog and the enchanted sword and I think it’s been going on for like five rounds and neither of them has hit the other

“We should play this for real money.” “Have you seen my husband roll dice?!”

“You killed my beautiful boy!” “Mrs. Rosell?” “No, it’s Ilsed! Context clues, everyone!”

“Poetry or whatever the next level of hell is”

Hardwon’s flashback 😔

BABY PAWPAW

“Moonshine, there’s something about you. Things that don’t belong just… find a way of belonging when you’re around.” is such a knockout of a line. It’s so sweet, it almost made me cry.

Followed directly by “Pawpaw shits into your bib,” of course

“Fungus can’t eat plot armour, right?”

CALDWELL. Hot damn the man is too good at this.

“You killed me, Murphy!” “I have to take a bath! I need to go on a long walk! You ruined my night, Brian!”

“This is the hardest work it would be to bully anyone.” “I wrote a tragic backstory for you, loser!”

Running all three one on one encounters as one encounter is such a good move

“Hey what’s up with your hammer?” “The hammer’s gotten bigger, I have NOT gotten smaller!”

“How far were you from the edge, Moonshine?” “Forty feet. […] You gonna take me to the edge, Hardwon?” “I’ll do my best to get you over the edge, Moonshine.” “…what would you do if you were having sex and they were like, I’m forty feet away?” “I’d be like whoa, that’s pretty far.” “But I can get there with a full dash!” And then nobody, DM included, manages to get through a single sentence including the word edge for the next couple of minutes…

Murph’s gleeful “you guys are pissed at me”

“Hardwon, make out with him!” “I’m recording it on my recording orb.” “…who is this for?”

“I’m a falcon. Can I lift Bev up?” “Absolutely not!” “I’m gonna try anyway.” “You are like Link holding up a chicken. Just running with a flapping bird in one hand.”

Not Murph opening the Ilsed flashback with a full minute on cyclical aesthetic trends in architecture?

“Please don’t be hot, please don’t be hot…” “… a young, hot Ilsed -“ “No!!!” Same Bev. Same.

“You wanted to be special, and you are! It’s rare to find someone stupid enough to make a deal with me but with enough potential that I could still do something good with your body, we’ll done.” That’s brutal

Murph slowly losing his mind as his players debate whether hell is really all bad (“the first layer is like super rad”) and what the purpose of hell is “the purpose is for bad people to torture other bad people and it’s bad and it sucks and it’s hell??”

-

I too am weak for a loyal knight and I melt into a puddle every time Jake and Murph run through their Hardwon and Mawmaw routine

Also this seems as good a time as any to give a round of applause for the “dwarphanage” and “dwarphan” puns. It’s so funny it just never gets old

so amused by how both Jake and Caldwell have called Murph Brian to signal anger

41 to hit?? Is that even a thing?

“Well, my cat was sick and I’m feeling spicy”

“This is an insane dynamic for a twenty-five-year-old to be in the middle of.”

Cooter the Berry Boy

“…did you just quote Lin-Manuel Miranda? […] You shoot this beam of red hot light and it hits this thing and it begins to melt away as you give an insane speech that you took from someone who does not exist in this world.”

Jake’s quiet sob of “that’s plagiarism” in the background

“Yes, my name is ‘Luke Earthier’.” 😬

Murph giving his elves super ridiculous names but then hating when the PCs make fun of them is so funny. He fully played himself

But it’s also very sweet how he will just fully accept their dumb nicknames. Lucanus is Daddy Luke now. Pendergreens hasn’t been called by his actual name for weeks.

Zac, who obviously came in without a prepared intro, trying to come up with a two-liner on the fly and somehow deciding the word he’ll be trying to rhyme with is “Juiblex”

“The thing is, Zac, I wrote sketch with you for like a year, and -“ “We know you’re smart. Is the disappointing thing.”

Random flashforward to Apple and Cooter, lone survivors of the apocalypse, in a Denny’s in Shadowfell

“Trees are beautiful and cool, that’s one of the first things you learn as a Green Teen!” “He’s right! Trees are cool and you suck!”

“You get non-lethally Boromir’d”

absolute cruelest answer to whether the NPC was deceived by a 13 deception check: “Hey, man. Maybe.”

Emily forcing ridiculous world building on her DM, truly The Axford Move: “Take that hat off and debate me!” “Alright, you take that vest off!” “…do I have a vest on?”

*threatening reer* is an underrated Pawpaw noise

That cliffhanger at the end of Ep. 88 and the outrage

“We’re all gonna jump you after this!” “There’s so many of us here, man!” “We’re gonna box your ass, we’re gonna mail it to… to Spain!”

“You can listen to people threatening to put my ass in a box on the Short Rest -” “Hey, no. I’m only gonna celebrate your ass.”

“Murph. My hat has telekinesis, right?” “Yeah?” “Can I use my telekinesis to control the sphere that we just received from Akarot?” “…Yeah.” “Okay, sweet, I’m going to fling this Sphere of Chomping Shit Up with my telekinesis.” Murph, apparently remembering in this very moment he’s DMing for Emily “I disguise myself as him” Axford: “Oh no.”

Bev and Erlin pull a full “here at the end of all things”

Jeez this episode is just the Emily and Murph drama hour. She’s leaving her possum! I am upset!!

Cobb’s “would this be a bad time to invite you to my improv show” was perfectly timed

“I assume the horse of Famine is stalking me, so I put out a plate of food for it every night. To be hospitable.” EMILY!!!

“It’s this vendetta that this horse has for me.” “...do you think maybe the rider also has something to do with it?” (this in reference to the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse)

I love how Murph is making progressively scarier villains and the boobs just flatly refuse to take them even a little seriously

“Everybody wake the fuck up, Death is here! Like actual fucking Death?!” is almost as funny as Bev’s “Rise and shine, we’re in the shit again!” from the Galaderon arc

“The horses we ride were all killed by you!” 10/10 callback, no notes

“The end is nigh! Bird for sale! The end is nigh!”

Jake asks Murph to rate everyone based on looks, immediately regrets it when Murph ranks him fourth, after himself

Emily plugging the podcast itself on its 96th episode

Them workshopping Caldwell’s intro rhyme on air for several minutes, then finally getting the recap started only for Emily to interrupt Murph after half a sentence to point out he “says ‘dragon’ cute”

I’m still not over the shock that the “what an honour. what an injustice.” quote is from this podcast. Damn. (Also I somehow really expected that to be a Caldwell line.)

“You must understand, I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure, I can’t tell when people are joking.” Oh the line between Murph and Melora is growing thin

“You see yourself outsmarting Josh and turning his entire army against him, you turning Akarot’s steed into a dolphin, outing Balnor as the witch in the Autumn Court trials... Just a supercut of Murph whomps.”

“Hey man, I know I haven’t said this in a while, but fuck you!”

Hardwon fighting Jaina, Mawmaw and Old Cobb but barely fighting back is just plain tragic

“Peepaw, is this another lesson? Is this a lesson I’m not understanding the meaning of?” “Moonshine, this is because I’m disappointed in you!” Murph is taking no prisoners this ep, noted.

“It’s good. I think you’re good. You’re smart, you’re a great storyteller, and you’re mean! You’re a bad guy.” I love that this is both a joke and the greatest praise a writer can receive

“That is the wraith on the red horse’s turn. He is a dolphin. The dolphin on the bigger dolphin flops. In Hell.” again, NO respect for Murph’s apocalyptic riders

a brief and nearly incomprehensible aside about Meatloaf songs (whose political views WERE problematic but whose songs 100 percent occupy the exact aesthetic of this batshit insane scene)

Murph picked the worst Meatloaf song tbh

honestly my main gripe with Pendergreens is I cannot fucking understand him and that hurts my pride. please this is my second language

.

i love how religiously Emily is keeping Deadeye’s memory alive throughout this, it’s so sweet

Moonshine and Meemaw on the grandma tree </3

“I didn’t have you until I was 350 years old. By that time, I had already lost Marabelle. And here, now I got you. Now I got another sister.” this whole conversation is so perfect, but I really really love this part, it’s so lovely to acknowledge how your relationship to your parents can evolve over a lifetime (especially one as long as this)

Emily’s delight at finding the critter refugee colony in the grandma tree is so pure

Murph bringing back Caldwell’s worst Green Teen creation as a wholesome jamboreen campfire memory

and one last Cawcaw sighting

what is it with the entire d20 cast and fem characters with that half-shaved/undercut hairstyle. legit every time they want to make a fem character particularly cool they give them that haircut

not Murph trying to sus out Hardwon’s deal with Moonshine once and for all in the penultimate episode by any means necessary

“’I’ll just... get another brewsky, and then I’ll meet you... behind the tree in... t -5.’ And then Hardwon does a weird moonwalk away.”

Bev goofs one last time and once again falls from a great height

I want Denny’s “whelp, I’m alive!” as a soundbite

“What are the others up to? Are they in danger?” “... how old are you?” “Sixteen!” “.....they’re hangin’ out.”

"Can we say that what I did to Jaina was a sort of religious experience and counts as a zealous trance” is definitely one of the funniest things Murph has let Emily get away with

“Congratulations, y’all. You fucked in DnD”

.

Jake almost crying in his (presumably) last intro as Hardwon

Murph laying it on unexpectedly thick and Emily struggling to follow that up with the very silly intro she prepared

“One hour [of going down on someone] isn’t taking your time??”

One last Somber Boy Song! and what a song it was, damn, Caldwell!

“He has such a haunting boy voice! It feels like he’s just alone in an abandoned church.”

“No, I don’t intend to join you [in your fight against a god], mylady. You are a demigod. I am a butler.”

“Do you guys think the Gods were scared when people looked to them?” “If they weren’t, they weren’t doing it right.”

“Here’s what I’d like to do, Murph: I would like to blow the Horn of Valhalla, bring out these berserkers, and then I would like to, on the thinking cap, cast Conjure Woodland Creatures and conjure eight pixies, and I’d like to put four of them in the Bag of Holding and use four of them to cast Fly on four of the berserkers which then I will cast Animal Shapes on, using my own concentration, to turn them into elephants, and we can go into battle on flying elephants. .... Just let me know if you want to leave me.” I have found my new favourite Emily moment. Jesus Christ. Her getting through that wild plan so businesslike and then “just let me know if you want to leave me” in that defeated tone took me OUT

underrated reason to bring back an old enemy for the finale: he’s the most annoying and everyone hates his guts

“Hardwon, you take a sick 69 psychic damage”

“The actual God looks hurt. She’s upset, I’m upset. But don’t worry, everyone, it is my turn.”

“That brings me down the same way my old man went down.” aka Jake sends the DM into an emotional crisis with a single sentence.

“You briefly fix his deviated septum.” now that’s just cruel

Handy Andy playing a vital role in the final fight makes me so happy, Deadeye helped! Posthumously!

“Hardwon, you struggle, but you get through the words… Table… of… Contents” cause of death: this

“Your god is a pro wrestler” OH MY GOD OF COURSE HE IS. Emily cracked it

“It’s okay, Balnor. Like all the most powerful things in the world, I knew I was only borrowing you.”

Hardwon coming into Shadowfell with unimaginable amounts of dirty laundry: “Moooooooom!”

Hardwon meets his dad :(

Murph really has the “emotionally repressed Dad” routine down pat

“Thank you so much, I sent [the Thinking Cap] through the dry cleaner’s, so it should be all good.” “Dijuana was killed by the dry cleaners.” “You were not supposed to get it wet.” “Yeah, something screamed in there they said, I don’t know.”

Another Jamboreen! And it’s about to probably get cancelled again with another Pebblepot in charge! Time is flat circle

“You see Cran grabs the counsellor, ‘Are you a Pebblepot? You have to tell me if you’re a Pebblepot!!’“

“I cast Conjure Animals and create... what would a dragon eat?” “It would for sure eat like a sheep?” “Oh no, that feels so cruel!” “But you’re creating it, it’s like... it’s a Beyond burger. Beyond Sheep.”

Of course Moonshine accidentally created a Crick dragon

Hardwon gets a fixer-upper in the Crick

I cannot believe Murph managed to pay off that horrendous hotel room scene, and how! Incredible. No notes.

-

This doesn’t strictly go here but if you go on IMDb, everyone but Zac is officially credited with their silly homebrew DM titles. Like Murph is credited as “Direct Messenger (Dungeon Master)”. I discovered this on a very stressful day and it delighted me to no end.

[whobobreviewsstuff]

Review: Breaking Bad Season 2 Episode 6 - Peekaboo (SPOILERS)

S2E6: Peekaboo

Written by J. Roberts & Vince Gilligan

Directed by Peter Medak

Here we are at one of the most famous early Breaking Bad episodes ever. Lots of "skank" shouting is all here people. So let's get started.

From the opening, it's clear as day this is gonna be a Jesse centric episode. Not that Walt doesn't have a plot in it. He does. But the real star of this episode is Jesse. We see him finally confronting the addict couple that stole Jesse's drug and money from Skinny Pete. How does he do it? It's a good question. He really had it under control until we see that he has a soft spot for kids and because of the couple's kid distracting him unintentionally, the addict woman got the best of him. I really like seeing Jesse caring about the kid and hating the fact that his parents ended up being really shitty parents. Throughout this show, Jesse is a person who wants what's best for kids he comes across. We see that with his younger brother and we see it here too. It really makes him a character to root for despite his goal was to take back the money and the drug. His plot provides some nice crude and dark humor with the couple always arguing with each other, us seeing how they actually stole the ATM machine, the man in the relationship called Scooge trying to make Jesse feel bad for Jesse hitting him with his gun and of course, the famous "skank" talk. All of which builds up to a really funny and brutal conclusion with ATM machine ending up in Scooge's head. I love that before Jesse escapes, he calls 911 and takes the kid outside, so he can get proper help and get a decent life. I loved the last thing he said was to live a good life. Jesse is a bad person deep down but he is good with kids and what he does here puts him leagues away from what Walt will do later on in the series.

As for Walt's plot, we see Walt once again teaching with Carmen telling him she'll always have his back on this matter. Of course school day doesn't end up well for him as he gets his missing poster with bunch of punks writing really bad things about him and what I love about afterwards this is that Walt and Flynn gets to share one nice moment on how to pull a prank on those punks. It's a really nice moment to see Walt does still have his humanity intact with trying to bond with his son. And of course shit goes down when Gretchen decides to visit Skyler. It's really depressing to see Gretchen witnessing that Skyler still believes they are paying Walt's medical treatment. Later on we see Walt and Gretchen in a dinner with Walt apologizing to Gretchen for lying to his family but Gretchen wants the truth on why he lies to them and we see Walt's true colors. We get some information on the day Walt left his own company and how Walt tries to blame it on Gretchen and Elliot for making money off his equations but really Gretchen tells Walt that he is just prideful person, so we do get a little hint on why Walt left the company and it sounds nothing but pettiness and egotistical. Small moments like that show us Walt perhaps has always been an asshole but he still had morality on what's right and what's wrong until we see how the show starts. When Walt goes back to the house, he gaslights Skyler into thinking Elliot and Gretchen went broke and despite all the lies Skyler picks up on Walt, she still wants to believe in every word he says and it's a really sad moment to bear. Walt comfort her on the idea they did pay most of the medical treatment but we all know it's all Walt's dirty money. What's gonna happen to Skyler after she finds out Walt has been bullshitting is gonna be sad to witness.

This episode was really amazing on good character study for Jesse and Walt and really humorous dark humor along with it.

Grade: 10/10

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Top 10: Least Favorite ML Episodes

Now I have done this list a few times and While Strike back isnt out yet. And if it turns out it is not that great I will be sure to adjust the list.

Rules:

1. This is an OPINION LIST. This is not definitive fact. If people like or love the episodes I list. That is fine. This is my personal opinion on them.

2. If you find things that you disagree with, feel free to comment on why you think an episode is better or worse with reasons.

3. Or if you dont have anything constructive or questions. Then you are free to ignore this list entirely.

But for now lets get started

10. Stormy Weather 2.0

If only the episode wasnt a clipshow.

It wasnt as awful on rewatch as I remember but it was really lazy. I would have loved more insight into Aurore and considering how amazing her first episode was... It feels more insulting.

Now clip shows dont have to be awful if done right (LOK season 4 is a prime example) But it is something that can be tedious.

Now to say this didnt give us anything of note would be inaccurate... but it really didnt give us much.

9. Ephemeral

Now this one I know is gonna have people scratching their heads.

This episode has a LOT of problems.

Now I wont take away from it.

If the episode was just the bits after the reveal up to Adrien talking on the phone with marinette.

I would have this episode on the top 10 not on the bottom 10.

But the thing is... its not that. Its a conclave of patched together scenes and awful moments on the front and back that clearly only exist for shock value with no real payoff.

Now if at the end someone did know what actually happened and had their perception changed because of the near end of the world...

Then maybe I wouldnt have such problems with it. (I would at least have it out of the top 10 worst)

But this episode has so many plot holes and animation errors that the ending seems more of a result of the episode being unable to contain its plot rather than Sass traveling back in time.

The more I talk about it the more negatives I want to say.

I mean we could discuss the almost Gaslighting of Chat noir.

The sudden escalation of a wish basically being a universal reboot.

Luka being someone that could have prevented this whole mess in the first place

And the hype that was given to the episode only for... THIS to be the end result.

A nothing burger that TRIES to be Chat blanc

8. Captain Hardrock

Full disclosure, This episode originally made me quit the fandom in the early days.

At the time Riposte and Captain Hardrock introduced the love rivals. And I HATED both of them.

But funny enough, Luka's intro isnt what made me quit. It was the fight with Captain Hardrock herself. They made a fight with a PIRATE BORING!

And at that point I thought to myself. The Love Square is falling to cliches and the fights are not even fun. I was done.

But I came back later

Now having re-watched the episodes. Riposte was actually a really good episode. It introduced Kagami and had Adrien's interest in Kagami occur in a more natural way than I remember. Do I find it was a bit rushed? Yes. especially when it came to Frozer. But in the episode itself it was more than acceptable and in character to how Adrien develops feelings.

Captain Hardrock on the other hand had Marinette 'Crushing' right from the start. The problem I have with it is that its completely antithetical to how Marinette develops feelings for people (which we got to see with Adrien (original and Oblivio), Chat noir AND Chat Walker). If the episode pumped the breaks for a second and had Marinette get that first blush at the end it would have been fine as it would have lined up more with her character. But what do we get? The moment after Marinette's intro to Luka, everyone from Tikki to Luka's own mom saying she is in love with him and she just accepts it like its dead equal to her crush on Adrien? That didnt even happen with Adrien with Kagami in Riposte. So lets cut the bulls*** on that.

I will say that this episode is a big outlier and Marinette and Luka's dynamic is handled much better in later episodes.

7. Feast

Everything wrong can be summed up with one sentence.

"An Order of Magical monks refused to use the miraculous and got wiped out by a four foot eyeless blue dog."

Fu acted irrationally, the reason for Fu's mistake is REALLY dumb

And While I hate Su Han more than Fu, I think Furious Fu is a better episode and it is the result of this.

Now Adrien and Marinette were fine in the episode.

But this whole premise is just so dumb.

So with this, i hate it more as a concept than an episode

6. Sole Crusher

Zoe doesnt need to exist.

The episode is basically Thomas cramming down our throats that Zoe is gonna replace Chloé and that we are idiots for thinking Chloé could ever be a hero. You could argue Queen Banana is worse but I honestly feel that this episode does more to really push it in your face. Plus Queen banana is such a s*** post that I cant help but laugh.

Now this isnt a critique of Zoe as a character... just her as a concept.

This episode is just so manipulative in trying to get sympathy for Zoe and have her speedrun the development so that she can get the Bee next episode.

Also while hilarious for me as it was for Chloé to basically become a mustache twirling villain that basically says she is a villain. Its really dumb

5. Chameleon

Speaking of dumb.

This episode has been analyzed to death so I will keep it brief.

Dumbing down Everyone else does not make the villain/Lila seem smart.

If the episode showed Lila being actually clever, it would make more sense. But no, everyone just believes Lila's crap.

The only two people that dont are Adrien and Marinette.

I think the episode is over hated, but it is also a REALLY dumb episode and establishes a trend whenever Lila is involved. EVERYONE GETS STUPIDER.

4.Frozer

The everyone is kind of an asshole episode.

Ive talked about this episode to DEATH.

Aside from Luka, no one in this episode comes out looking good.

The akuma is okay just not very memorable.

The ice costumes are cool.

Really this is one of those that the FANDOM really just makes even thinking about this episode seem like a task. The salters are just awful. Same with Chameleon. But this one is also just not even a fun watch.

3. Animaestro

Thomas Astruc is a whinny bitch for 22 minutes and it shows.

A call out critics episode that misses the mark so much it ended up missing and shooting him in the foot.

Marinette is out of character, and basically everyone is a mouth piece for him.

It should have been called puppeteer because it felt like their mouths were moving for his benefit and nothing else.

2. Miracle Queen

The last half of the episode ruins everything.

The memory wipe Deus Ex Machina was BS

Marinette being Blamed is BS

The ending with Fu basically telling Marinette the equivalent of.

"Life sucks deal with it"

Honestly if Truth wasnt as good as it was, I might have considered leaving the show for good.

I have talked about this in length and I am not gonna do it again.

1. Reflekdoll

I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate this episode.

It is by far my least favorite episode.

It changed the ladynoir dynamic.

It ruined one of my favorite tropes

It ended in one of the dumbest ways possible

And EVERY CHARACTER in it for more than one minute was a f***ing idiot.

It had no reason to exist. It felt like reading a salt fic. It basically made everything that sucks about sentimonsters more clear, and it just really does make people seem either like an a**hole or an idiot.

[nightswithkookmin]

chile i'm so glad i came across your blog, the amount of "i'm not going to assume they're dating" or "we can only draw certain conclusions but i can't say for sure" "we don't know their sexuality, BUT" type blogs i follow is getting kinda wack lmao. while i appreciate their perspective and nuanced takes i need to strike a balance. like let's get a lil delulu every once in a while. 💀

lol the im-not-a-shipper-but-call-jikook-boyfriends-every-other-post blogs are the funniest to me. the shipping hierarchy, so to speak is so weird. maybe just because im not a "shipping real people is bad" person i don't see the big deal. gonna get called delulu anyway, might as well go full out. they is gay/queer and they're fucking. i'm so sorry.

*also can we touch on the fact that shipping in this type of fandom (kpop) is kind of inevitable and unavoidable??! these boys are the other people we see them with day in and day out, interacting with each other and no one else. i feel like it's natural to ship when there's no other people around to break up everything, idk maybe someone can articulate this better than me. and people who are made to feel stupid for thinking that 2 members could actually be dating is so dumb. like is it really out of the realm of possibility that two people (jikook, cause all them other ships are....😬) who spent almost every waking minute together for like 8 years could fall in love. really?

/rant

It's the delulu hat for me

Lmho.

I guess for me being queer, I feel it's gaslighting for these people to be saying things like that. As silly as it is, it inadvertently deny and invalidate the existence and queerness of gay individuals and so I struggle with it.

This is the consequences of straight people in gay people business. They like defining gay parameters for us and it's like who asked you?? I feel people who say things like that are just plain ignorant or tone deaf or willfully homophobic.

I don't think everyone in BTS is gay but it makes me feel safe to see half the community assume them to be and celebrate them in that way. They are not cussing at them and threatening to leave the fandom or cancel them for this assumption and that is huge inspiration to me.

Those parts of the fandom are a safe space to be in as a queer army.

When people assume a person's queer sexuality they are simply admitting to themselves at the very least that LGBTQ EXISTS. This is important to me because I grew up in a community where LGBTQ didn't even exist in the collective consciousness of the people and EVERYONE IS AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE STRAIGHT AND EXPECTED TO BE.

People read people's sexuality all the time and have done so since time immemorial and a lot of the time when they have had a sexuality read it's in the lines of straight, cis, rich, poor, superior or inferior. And that is a problem for some of us too because that discrepancy in the assumptions is as a result of homophobia and heteronormativity.

That whole don't assume a person's queer sexuality debacle sounds to me like a boujee way of denormalizing and preventing the normalization of queerness disguised under care, disguised under intelligence and disguised under wokeness. Especially when straightness is the default setting in this giant blue bulb.

We need to radicalize that. We need to change the cis straight default setting and if you are perpetuating this narrative you really aren't helping the situation. SIT DOWN.

I'm rarely assumed to be queer in certain circles and while that makes me feel comfortable within those circles it often times make it hard for me to admit my queerness openly in those circles too because I fear I will lose that comfort and respect and love and privileges that comes with being percieved straight in those spaces.

When I started my blog, I noticed some people assumed I was white and would use certain black descriptors as slurs when describing other people to me. I quickly had to switch the formal way in which I wrote to a much casual tone so my blackness would show through. Don't get it twisted. She black. She blackidy black black.

Then on the other hand, I was hesitant to let my queerness be known too because being black, I was marginalized as it is- you is black, or sound black💀 you know how it is- it's that intersectionality of oppression at play. Double double homicide.

When certain people realized I was black POC minority, their attitude towards me changed. I had those who didn't so much understand what black language is or perhaps wasn't used to being in black spaces and were uncomfortable with my blackness- these would take offense at me saying certain things in certain ways. Like chilee relax Karen, all I said was these motherfukkers gay as shit and they gay. Why you acting like I called them twinks or sommin. Right there, I'm cancelled for calling Jikook motherfuckers. They get sirens and everything😭😭😭😭😭😭

Same vein, I struggle destraightening myself or correcting people who assume I'm straight because I fear they will treat me differently if they knew I wasn't.

Straight privilege exists in the same way as white or even pretty privilege may exist and because these exist there's that automatic conception of queer, poc, ugly, fat disemfranschismet to run along side it.

People treat you differently based on how they perceive you. That's a fact. And for queer people, perceiving us as straight is the only way we get to be treated as human by the masses. And a lot of us embrace that- straight until proven gay am I right 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's the duper's delight for me. Untill you catch me with a 5'8 melanin skinned silk pressed auntie on my left nipple good luck proving I'm gay.

It can be fun, I akekeke when some people around me are totally oblivious to the fact and even sometimes defend my straightness with their dying breath when nasty friends throw them shades or try to out me unprovoked.

A lot of us don't want to admit we are gay because we don't want to be disenfranchised.

I speak for myself when I say this.

But 'Don't assume someone's sexuality' is a double edged censorship used for and against queer people. It seemly offers protection on the surface of it for queer people but underneath it promotes heteronormativity and standardizes straightness and it is also used to promote closet culture, under the disguise of care and concern for the autonomy of queer people but that is a fallacy because our autonomy has never mattered to anyone since the dawn of homophobia.

And I don't know where this interpretation comes from. Why do people not want to assume queer people's sexuality but it's ok to assume straight people's???

It feels like a hijacked movement to me.

THIS IS THE ACCURATE MOVEMENT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

Don't assume all people are straight. It's ok to assume some people are queer because queer people exists too.

It is wrong however to assume queerness based on how a person talks, walks, dresses or even on their body type. That is stereotyping. And stereotyping is wrong.

When it comes to Jikook, Jimin is often stereotyped as gay more so than Jungkook because they have different body structures. Jungkook is stereotyped too solely because of the way his wrists hang, or based on moments he's femininity shines through.

But I don't think shippers stereotype Jikook in that way at all. I dont think shippers believe Jikook are dating eachother simply because Jungkook applied setting powder to his face that one time. They assume they are gay only because they believe those two to be dating eachother. That is not stereotyping. If those two were heterosexuals I don't think people will accuse their shippers of stereotyping.

It's one thing to assume Kai is gay because he looks skinny and dances well. It's another to assume he is gay because in a relationship with Gdragon. And if people can't tell the difference between the two, they should get some education and stop talking about things they know nothing about or only know because they stumbled across user69 on Twitter. They are not helping.

Untill people get offended when people assume others are straight, that rhetoric doesn't matter in its inequality. If you ask me, everyone is gay until proven straight.

Yet how many people will take offense at that?

Assuming people can be gay is not delulu.

It's ok to assume people can be gay. It's wrong to stereotype them as gay. If you can't assume they are gay, don't assume they are straight and don't assume at all. Run with this sis.

Wait, they don't ship Jikook but they call Jikook boyfriends???????👀👀👀👀👀

The fake woke syndrome will kill people in this fandom with these mentally confused thought crisis bunch💀💀💀💀

Jikook themselves are shippers💀

Smh

GOLDY

[gaylaughingdoves]

I really love how you draw Dottore! he's my favorite character in genshin- do you have any hcs/ideas for how he interacts with the other harbingers? I find other people's readings of him really interesting!

take care, have a good day whenever you read this!

Aaa!! Thank you!! <3 :D And yes I absolutely have hcs about him and the other harbingers!!

(I'm gonna toss them under a cut because I have a tendency to ramble on and use a whole lotta Words-)

Alright, so Signora and Dottore:

Extraordinarily chaotic and evil sibling dynamic

They gossip, like, A Lot, it's mainly Signora talking while Dottore fidgets and works with whatever he's working on, but he gets invested in it pretty easily

Now they also can and will rat each other out when they want, absolute snitches the both of them, they find immense joy in it, however. They also know a decent number of each other's secrets and they aren't going to tell those unless given a proper bribe (which neither have received just yet)

Signora and Dottore also both do Not like Childe

They have bonded over this

Childe is gaslight girlboss gatekept from everything when Signora and Dottore are involved

Also, Signora usually isn't phased by whatever Dottore keeps in his labs, because, yk, she might be 500+ years old, which Dottore appreciates because usually people are constantly on edge in his labs

It's a pain for him to actually keep staff (alive and employed), but having another Harbinger there (even one with a reputation like Signora's) grants the people working for him an, admittedly false, sense of security. Nothing could go bad when two Harbingers are here, right?

So Actually many many things can go wrong with these two in a room with Dottore's experiments

Like don't trust them around fire? Ever? Signora knows her way around it a little bit too well to be safe, and Dottore just likes watching how things burn under different conditions soo a recipe for Arson, that's what that is

Signora also thinks Dottore is hilarious when he's angry, and Dottore just likes being antagonistic, which leads to a whole lotta bickering. It's usually lighthearted but it can get serious and it can get serious fast

But overall Dottore just sorta sees her as an older sibling-ish person? He knows if he lets something slip she's not going to go straight to the other Harbingers to gossip. Which he likes because he can just go off and rant about how stupid something is and she'll just use it as blackmail material, which he thinks is better than like. Having everyone know how much he hates a certain piece of old machinery or something-

However, he doesn't trust her too much, because?? Who in the Harbingers actually trusts each other???

Also he and Signora have Transmasc/Transfem solidarity I will not be elaborating

Dottore and Childe on the other hand:

Pure hatred from Childe's side, he straight-up despises Dottore.

After all, this is a guy whose family is one of the most important things to him, his siblings are children, children who do not know the weight of the world just yet.

And Dottore is the guy who is... well. He's known to treat kids like nothing but a base to experiment on

Now Dottore on the other hand literally just wants to dissect Childe, he's gone absolutely crazy trying to get permission to at least run tests.

I mean, What else was he going to do when the kid Pulcinella found on the side of the road started turning into an entire 10ft abyss creature??? That's part of his whole line of work!! This is literally something he studies!!!

Needless to say, he was not allowed to study Childe's Foul Legacy in any regard and it ticked him off

So yeah, just overall they Hate each other, they argue a lot, like, if the Tsarita wasn't there at meetings they would turn into fistfights

However, they both drink whatever the Genshin equivalent of Monster is

This is not a bonding point, they fight over flavors

Sounds like a dumb thing to fight over but Dottore can't stand Childe's and Childe can't stand Dottore's

This has lead to other Harbingers swapping their flavors around because they think it's entertaining to watch them fight

It actually got to the point where the Tsaritsa herself had to order them to stop switching the flavors around because Dottore and Childe are already prepped to murder each other at any moment, they don't need to make it worse

So Dottore just reserves himself to snapping at Childe with the annoyance of someone who is being blocked from something that could very easily be a big break that's being dangled over his head

For real though, Childe has so much potential for Dottore's experiments but Dottore isn't allowed to do so much as study what effect that the transformation has on Childe afterward, and he hates it

But he can't lose his funding from the Tsaritsa so he stays quiet and angrily compiles whatever information he can

Anyway, Dottore and Scaramouche:

Overall neutral actually?

Like they don't see each other much, with Dottore usually knee and elbow deep in some messed up science stuff, and Scara's work taking him out and about a lot of the time

They bicker and stuff, but overall?? They kinda just avoid talking to each other?

Sometimes, rarely, they do get put on a mission with each other, but when they happens they usually get along pretty well!

They actually have a good time snooping around places, what with Dottore's practically uncontrollable curiosity being easily triggered if there's... oh idk, dragon bones, or old machines, or abyss-related ruins, or anything in the typical Vindagyeran Architecture Style, and Scaramouche just likes to snoop and sneak around for fun, for funsies

There's been a few times when the both of them have bonded over chaotically messing something up (didn't impact them, but sure did impact whoever was living in those houses) and laughed over it, grabbed some drinks, and just hung out

They're sorta like buddies who don't see each other much so they're overall estranged but still have a good time, yk?

Scaramouche has hung out in Dottore's labs before, doesn't particularly enjoy them, what with all the machinery and people crying and whatever, thinks it's boring, but if he has to hang out there he'll find his way to Dottore's office and read his files

This gets on Dottore's nerves, but he knows a little better than to cross the minor god that is Scaramouche

And he would very much like to study Scaramouche, considering, yk, divinity abandoned by the divine?

What an odd predicament!!

What effects would that have!!

How does he still have any power!!!

The questions Dottore could have are endless!!

But Scaramouche is away enough to be sure that Dottore's interest is solidly in other things (mainly Abyssal, and Dragons, because there's always some Fatui around the dragon skeletons (Durin and Orobashi) and I have a feeling it's Dottore's doing)

And that's it so far I think? They'll probably change as more Harbingers/info on the ones we have already come out and such but that's what I have rn!! Just Dottore being a funny feral little angry science man with at least three sensible braincells, and yk what I love him for it :)

[uh-velkommen]

The White Lotus, HBOMax

Alright four episodes in and things are finally starting to ramp up. My face throughout the whole episode was stuck on discomfort. This show packs so much tension in every 45 minutes that I'm constantly waiting for somebody to pop off or something crazy to happen but instead we get teased with the smallest little plot pusher. Which is working. I'm officially intrigued. I do wish I knew the overall point of the show because that's what would've helped me decide if I wanted to keep up with but now my determination to find out how this all ends is doing just that...

Character breakdown + Spoilers/Predictions

Armond: The manager of the White Lotus resort. I love him in all his poor choices. He's just constant chaos simply because he has the power to create it. He's also the biggest driver of drama. He lies a lot, almost pathologically, and he will carry those lies to the grave for no real reason.

Nicole Mossbacher: Resort guest, Mark's wife, and Olivia and Quinn's mom. She's a pretty basic character who is teased about possibly having OCD and working during vacation. She was pretty chill in the first 2 episodes but every once in a while she says things that gives off I'm a centrist but my views lean a little more conservative.

Mark Mossbacher: In the beginning he's stressing about possibly having testicular cancer because his father died of cancer... Turns out his father had AIDs. He has a depressive episode over his dad being gay and then, while drunk, he inadvertently comes onto the Armond. The next day Armond tests the waters with Sober Mark and we get uncomfortably funny scenes of Armond coming onto Mark in front of the whole family. Mark's a very passive dude who doesn't do anything exciting in the show but we just find out that he has, in the past, repeatedly cheated on his wife and didn't tell her (he told his son that he did tell Nicole but I don't believe it) I think his theme is just being genuinely unhappy with his life at the moment.

Olivia Mossbacher: She's a college sophmore and has many moments where she calls out her parents questionable statements. She carries herself with a weird nonchalance where you'd think she's a mean girl but she's only ever expectedly mean to her brother. However, she brought along her friend Paula and we start to see that their friendship is built on some unspoken competition. The girls do tons of drugs on vacay until Armond gets his hands on them and breaks his 5 year sobriety. This is when and why shit starts to hit the fan. They know he stole the drugs but because everyone avoids admitting to having illegal drugs, no one is ever outright accused.

Paula: Olivia's poc friend, possible hypochondriac, and supplier of drugs, has secret rendezvous with one of the Hawaiian native resort workers. She refuses to say anything when asked about her nightly disappearances but Olivia knows why or for whom Paula keeps sneaking off. We learn that Paula doesn't want Olivia to know about her and her beau because Olivia always wants what she has. My theory is that this wouldn't be the first time Olivia has stolen a partner of hers and I think now because Paula isn't admitting to hooking up with this guy, Olivia is gonna steal him and use Paula's secrecy as a way of blame.

Quinn Mossbacher: Involuntary loner in my opinion. He comes off as a classic video game nerd, obsessed with the internet, cant live without his Switch and Fortnite. He doesn't have any friends and he takes all the teasing from Olivia and Paula without a fuss. But he starts sleeping on the beach alone and keeps running into these amazing sights to see. This is where we start to see him blossom and speak up. Its ever so slow but in episode 4 he actually walks up to a group of guys and introduces himself, interested in their boat related sport[?] (Or maybe even the guys themselves🤞) He's also the only one who knows about the Dad's affair and stupidly hints at it at the family dinner (he's just genuinely stupid).

Shane Patton: Also a resort guest and the funniest character to me. He's your run of the mill self-centered male Karen (Kevin if you will) and he arrives at the resort with his wife Rachel. They're on their honeymoon but so many moments make you question why in the hell did these two get married? He is in an unnecessarily one sided battle with Armond. First the resort accidentally downgrades his room. Armond gaslights Shane into thinking that he never purchased the bigger room. Shane gets a receipt. Armond tells him there's a German couple staying in the receipted room longer than Shane and his wife are there so the room will not be ready for them in time. Shane finds out the Germans are actually leaving wayy earlier. Armond apologizes and books them a romantic sunset dinner on a boat. The boat is actually a funeral where a strange grieving woman, named Tanya, fails to spread her mothers ashes in the sea. Shane confronts Armond and asks for Corperate's number. Armond creates a fake business card and when Shane realizes the number is fake, he bursts into Armond's office to find him rimming a coworker while high on Ketamine. Prediction: Armond's gonna get blackmailed for abuse of power in a classic Monicagate manner.

Rachel: Shane's wife. Rachel's a journalist who actually looked up to Nicole (her job as CEO of god knows what puts her in the public eye) but when she finally got to sit with Nicole over lunch, Nicole calls her out for writing an incredibly slut shamey article, claiming that Nicole used her femininity to get her where she is now. This is the first smack in the face that maybe journalism isn't for Rachel. Well that on top of the constant teasing from Shane about her career choices. Shane's family is much more wealthy than Rachel's and he always finds subtle ways to make it known. Shane also pays her no mind, flirting with Olivia and Paula and battling Armond. Even during their arguments (which happens too many times for newlyweds) Shane doesn't look at Rachel and just gives periodic "mhmm"s and "okay"s. Also Rachel hates the Mossbacher family simply because they all seem to be doing better than her.

Now for the boring ones

Tanya McQuoid: An eccentric resort guest (which is a polite way of saying, a weird ass person who is over polite and basically pushes herself into every other character's drama in the most unintentional way, she's also bad at reading the room) She comes off as calm and quiet but we find out that her mother recently passed and she's in Hawaii to spread her mothers ashes. She becomes creepily obsessed with the resort's massage parlor manager, Belinda, after a complimentary massage and suggests becoming a beneficiary so Belinda can open up her own massage parlor. Her "obsession" could possibly just stem from Belinda showing her an act of kindness during a hard time but I know I questioned Tanya's intentions for at least the first two episodes... In episode 4, some random dude, Greg, shows up and invites Tanya to dinner after "accidentally" mistaking her room door for his own. Tanya postpones a business meeting with Belinda so she and Greg can hook up that night. The presence of these characters feel a little out of place. Unlike the Newly Weds and the Mossbacher family, there is not a lot of plot overlap. Tanya will often pop up to converse with the others and brag about Balinda's skills but she doesn't cause any trouble. Tanya's also very wealthy so I definitely thing this "Greg" has some secret plot to take down Tanya or plant something or steal her cash and unfortunately I do not think Belinda will see anything bright in her future. Her plans will be left on the backburner which I say is unfortunate because she's a kind woc who is just trying to do her job and is clearly very skeptical about going into business with this strange, rich white, resort guest.

Honorable Mention

Lani: A Hawaiian native, trainee at the White Lotus. She shows up in episode one as her first day on the job. Later we find out she's also pregnant and goes into a premature labor on the job. She has her baby and disappears for the next three episode. Come back Lani, Armond has just started getting your name right!

Show Themes

The show does touch on conversations of race and class but I would not consider this a political show or one with an agenda (it's satire). I point out the characters of color here because their race becomes a device used to create tension but not in a Token POC kind of way. All the characters are rich and they are shamed for it by the show writers. By this I mean nobody is spitting in their faces and calling them Climate Killers but the choices the characters make, the things they say, and the way they act gives the viewer something to laugh at. Their ignorant entitlement juxtaposing with the beautiful Hawaiian beaches and tragic Hawaiian history creates an underlying experience of, look at these rich people not having a good time and they can't even realize why! As for the characters, there is plenty of time to sit back and question, is this character a good person, who's the real antagonist, how do these stories intertwine, who do we root for What story is attempting to be told here? What is the message!?

[ivesambrose]

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

As promised, a late Christmas but early new year gift from my side. 💚

Choose the screen you feel strikes a memory from your childhood or your dreams or something that's been on your mind lately xo

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com

1.

Life hasn't been as harmonious due to the obvious circumstances have made you feel that this is your new reality now. Finding a new normal in where you've always been. But that's far from the truth.

Maybe you have strayed from something you had faith in, but in 2021 its time to get back in touch with that again. But I'm not seeing blind faith here, there's a sense of clarity. One you didn't have before and caused you foggines. I literally see a thick fog. You're going to have a chance to live what you've missed out on the year before.

There will be a boost in self esteem as well as desire to focus on focus on the sweetness moments in life has to offer. It's almost as though you're bored of the news, bored of the bitterness and being concerned. So to put it in simpler terms, your attitude has become rather Yolo.

I see some of you building immunity, focusing on what you eat, maybe even taking supplements for health. I literally see someone weight lifting this could be as literal as building strength / muscle. Good for you!

The start of the year it seems an idea will take a tangible form. I see some of you committed to learning something new or working on something that you would like to put out the public. I see someone devoted to some form of expression honestly.

It's also advised to protect your energy not everyone is going to be happy with your goals and plans.

You'll also be able to see beyond current circumstances. So long term plans will be the focus as well as a general attitude of, "I don't care anymore, I'm gonna do what it takes eitherway."

I also see you learning more about finances, savings, investments etc

There will be opportunities to travel or what was once halted will pick up.

Aquarius and virgo season are significant.

Some keys themes are,

- knowing when to leave a situation discreetly.

- again, know when to leave.

- recognizing opportunities and seizing them instead of awaiting validation or looking back at the ones that didn't bring you fulfillment.

2.

I feel you've been restless and anxious throughout the year so now that sudden patience and understanding hits you, you're unfamiliar with this feeling. The, "I don't have to worry anymore you mean? I don't have to wake up feeling not messed up? That's suspicious!"

I see some of you finding some comfort in walking while listening to music, picturing different scenarios etc. You could be walking indoors or outdoors, doesn't matter. All I know is that it'll ground you. I see you feeling a little more stable as though you can rely on yourself.

I see you attracting a lot of wealth honestly. Money is just energy, eitherway you'll attract it. I think you'll tap into that power honestly. You might even find yourself having purchased something you consider a luxury item sometime this year. Increase in wealth will also give you a boost in other areas of your life. You may also take a liking towards warmer colors. You may like gold over black combination a lot too.

I'm seeing you heal an old would. Wanting more adrenaline in your life too. Some of you may dance, take up dancing etc something that gets the blood pumping.

There's also a theme of getting in touch with the emotions you have often kicked under the rug or have shamed yourself for and left unexpressed.

Why do I sense a more feral energy in some of you? Like you've been quiet for so long and settled for things but deep inside you are a wild, wild thing.

A cycle of turmoil is complete, the person you were in jan 2020 and the one you are in Jan 2021 are extremely different people.

There's also a connection you have been dreaming of or getting signs of but you're fearing the worst it seems too? Don't worry about it too much,

Significant months are Aries and Leo season.

Key themes for this year,

- relocation

- long distance travel

- flexibility

- multiple jobs

- silently knowing you're the baddest bitch ever

3.

Calming of your nerves. No thought head empty. But in the best way possible since you've flushed out a lot of toxicity from your life. There's probably something you've incorporated maybe an affirmation, hobby, routine etc that you're going to be or are advised to be persistent about. Some of you may also be suffering from sleeplessness, nightmares, restlessness etc maybe even headaches, eye strain. You're truly advised to make your health well being your priority. Calming music, meditation, painting etc will help with this.

Your gift of visualization will be very useful for some reason.

You may have felt unrequited love in the past but this year brings about more synchronicity and balance. Its simply because you've chosen to bring the priority to you. So you won't be settling for less.

The biggest theme for you is breaking an ancestral pattern and shedding old skin. Don't be surprised if the whole year feels like a Pokémon evolution for you. It's high time to follow what you want instead of what others want for you.

I see some of you leaving a hostile/exhausting situation/residence to somewhere much calmer.

There's a key theme of rebirth and heeding the call of something you couldn't do earlier. Being more active in pursuit of your goals. I see you determined to do something for yourself.

I also see clarity of thought more assertiveness in your part and knowing when to command things into fruition.

Significant months are capricorn and taurus season. Even Gemini season.

Key themes for the year:

- don't blind yourself to the love you literally just manifested.

- it's okay to be selfish of your earned resources.

- as your shed your old skin, don't expect yourself to not have an upgrade.

- you indeed won and their gaslighting did not.

4.

You feel you have lost your shine it seems...

As though you don't have the gifts or the right amount of talent or perhaps you feel disconnected with the things that once made you happy.

2021 is all about finding that sparkle and dropping the heaviness one day at a time. It'll be a transformative period from feeling lack lustre to discovering a whole new array of things you feel connected to. A lot of awakened creativity without the fear of having to prove to others that, "Hey look, I did this thing please validate." no. Do this cuz you want to. Do this even if you think its bad. You have to be persistent and allow yourself to improve.

I see a lot of you channeling certain emotions into creative expression or achieving something. Also a lot of connecting with nature by yourself since you feel the need to maybe isolate a bit or disconnect from people who drain you off your energy.

You'll be reaping a lot of rewards for your earlier efforts as well as the efforts you're going to put in. I get a picture of a tree filled with apples, the tree certainly belongs to you and you have your sweet rewards with you. Your patience has paid off.

You may also be drawn to cool tones or cool colors. You'll also learn that you don't need to be right or perfect all the time. It's a growing stage and if you don't learn from your mistakes then what's the point. I just see this year as being you keeping your peace and not dwindling in others business anymore simply because you seek peace from extra drama. I also truly see you dropping the need to be right and being stubborn cuz that's been hindering you for the longest time. There are people although few seeking to guide and help but you may have been subconsciously rejecting it.

I also wouldn't be surprised if some of you break up with current partners or a friend group to go different ways. You've been straying form things and not really growing. This year might be full of a lot of self awareness for you.

There's an opportunity that brings you emotional fulfillment of sorts too but you'll be lowkey about it. I also see you wanting to seek refuge from your own thoughts at one point. If you're an artist of any kind, this year is gonna be a benchmark for you. I can tell that. Perhaps admist this soul searching you'll find someone that aligns with you too. (this could be romantic or platonic)

Significant seasons are taurus and likely Leo season.

Main themes I'm seeing are that of,

- Finding people you feel at home with

- learning what you want to commit to before you decide in who.

- taking the risk to take certain journeys by yourself. You may think you're alone, but you'll meet souls just like you along the way.

- leave your comfort zone. Please.

5.

You're truly about the collect the biggest glow up award and I would like to congratulate you in advanced. That's it. That's the overview.

Okay I'm kidding ofc I'm not gonna leave you at just that.

Something that is long inevitable will happen. You have been waiting for this. It could be a travel plan that did not come through because of the previous year. But whatever it is that you're waiting for is making its way to you and not just that, you're making your way towards something or some place to.

You maybe going the distance for something that has a lot to do with your career as well.

You have finally unlocked a hidden fire within you (for real I see a scarlet red and a flame) that is just so stunning like?? Some of you might just embody this sexy siren energy. Do not be surprised if you attract people left, right and center this year. But then again I see y'all being invested in your passions and one of these passions is being your best like, there's just so much 7 rings by Ariana energy here what even? Please own it!

Expect love offers. Expect love to come in. Although I do hesitancy here since a lot of you just had this sudden glow and are simply maybe not used to tenderness, honesty and affection.

I also see leadership, management and business skills is something you will learn this year. Also expect hearing certain messages in conversations and music I feel a lot of you simply connect deeply with music or it's connected with your life path.

Key themes for the year,

- A long term romance coming in. This person is such a charm, I feel as though when you were busy tending to your goals and looking at how far you've come, they come in for you. You saw them coming but it still feels unexpected.

Significant seasons are, cancer, virgo and scorpio.

- money saved secretly. Patience and constant efforts bringing in monetary rewards.

- connecting with like minded people

- travel, skincare, health, aesthetics. 

- learning to be more graceful and composed

- slow progress is still progress. The most beneficial kind.

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait Reacts To The AE 3/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this tomorrow, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[19:11 + Visual Novel]

Okay, oh boy. Saeran made a chatroom that’s safe for us. That was really fast in a short amount of time so I’m always awed at how fast and he and Saeyoung are able to make progress and work because it’s so... quick. It almost seems like it should be impossible when they work. So, he did it. Though, now that that has been done, he admits that we need to talk about what’s coming now. He wants to find out what he can. 

There’s no choice. 

We have to see this through and we have to find Saeyoung. He’s not going to run in without thinking and that’s my boy. He knows what we’re doing here and how risky it could be. I knew that we were going to go with him because of the passport package, that literally implied that either we were going to have a time for a honeymoon by the end of this route, or we were going to travel with the RFA to find Saeyoung, or Saeran and the player traveling. 

That was easy to surmise! 

That being said, I feel like I should point how the fusion of Suit Saeran and Ray as he becomes Saeray or GE Saeran. He’s not quite both of them pushed into one place and he’s not quite one or the other, he’s own person with the past and experiences of those two. So, he has the memories of both to draw back on and see when he wants to know. They both had different memories and experiences so when they came together, those personalities met and united. 

I won’t lie, it warms my heart when Saeran says that my heart warmed his and helped him. He did that for me and he doesn’t even know it. 

What strikes me as odd here is the fact that everyone keeps saying over and over that we, the player, are the reason that things are the way that they are. I don’t know, it feels like Reset Theory to me or them breaking the fourth wall for some reason. I’m not controlling everything, as far as they know, so maybe they just are being modest. 

I don’t know, it’s a theme that keeps persisting and bugging me as I’m playing because: I’m not the one that broke free of the control and manipulation, Saeran, you did that yourself. I may have helped you see it but you decided and did that.  I appreciate them noting that I helped along the way but I’m just MC. I’m just here for the ride. Is that tone bothering anyone else?

Anyways, as I expected, Saeran asked us to come with him. I note that there is a parallel to Seven’s Bad Ending. You can tell him that you want to leave and never look back at anyone. That likely leads to a Bad Ending but I’m not going to click that. The goal here is to be a peacekeeper and a middleman who is also concise and blunt. 

Although, Saeran is a little intense here. I hope he knows that I’d die for him just as fast as he’d die for me. 

Anyways, the novel jumps over to Saeyoung at the last second. He is awake again. The Boss says: “You’re awake. Now, let’s wait and see if your knight will make it in time by the end of the day.” 

Okay, that’s not good. 

Oh, and you receive a phone call after this! It’s from Jumin’s Dad. My god, I got a call from Driver Kim after the 4PM chat, but I never thought I would speak to Jumin’s Dad. Chairman is curious... too curious. He wants to know more about what happened with V. Somehow... he knows that V used the smoke bomb and that made me confused. Did Saeran say something about V? How can he know? And, this man called me from Zen’s phone!

It didn’t have a lock.

Zen hates modern technology. 

I wasn’t going to tell Chairman Han about Rika, or anything. He isn’t sure why V did what he did. I told him to ask Jumin. I know his dad worries about Jumin for real but I’m not gonna spill the beans. We can’t do that. He does sound like he does care even though we know he and Jumin are strained. So, I can’t fault him for that but one my biggest questions is: How did V know the agency? Was his dad involved? 

The agency is told to us by Saeran to be one that is a big ring... the biggest in the world. So... rich people would use it. Did Jumin’s dad get involved in that or even Jihyun’s dad? is that how? 

He also says that he is a bit jealous of ours and Saeran’s love. 

Tells us about his forlorn love-life.

He wishes that we can find Saeyoung, at least. Oh, and remember the Agency saying that they were going to slander the RFA and C&R? Yeah, this is already in motion.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL. SAEYOUNG CHOI. NO. I know you don’t want us to come because it’s a trap but... I’m so worried about you honey. I’m so worried about you right now. I know he can survive hell. He didn’t sleep, eat, or drink for three days on the HBC mission. But... this isn’t good. He can access the safe chat, too. It’s just Saeran, myself, and him. But... what about the agency? 

[20:44]

While I do love being able to see young Saeran... I don’t like the context of why Rika is doing this. So, Saeran comes into the chatroom. We talk about his time at the cathedral. He makes it clear that... he feels complicated about his mother, yes, she was a monster to him, but that was his only family at the time. He didn’t have Saeyoung. He didn’t want to lose that last connection. He said that every person at the church was nice to him. 

But, he never saw Rika or Jihyun as a mother or father. Just people looking out for him. In all honesty, I really never wanted Saeran to have to talk to Rika ever again. I hated that he was going to have to go through this again because that last talk with her on day 10 was perfect. He spoke his peace and said she would never have power over him again. 

Rika’s point here... I’m not sure. She feels like they were a family, like they were close and happy. She clearly wants to rip the rug from under Saeran and bring him down again. She tries to bring up his mother, bring up family, try to guilt him into this. Guilt him into leaving alone. I don’t like it. Rika wants to make herself feel better about what happened. 

She doesn’t even... It’s all about how she phrases this. It’s all about, “What about me? What about ME? What am I supposed to do to be a good parent?” Ma’am, you lost that right. You don’t get to ask that to him. You don’t get to be his mother or claim him. He’s not an object. He’s not toy. He’s a person with feelings and he won’t be spun by you. 

I appreciate how Saeran can just... ignore her. I respect that. I trust that. I am so proud of him for ignoring and not giving into her whims. That takes a lot of real strength with real abusers. It’s not easy. I’m proud of that. Now here’s where the game tries to smack the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to think about how they are phrasing it. 

Okay, so, now she’s claiming that she’s split into fragments as well. I’m not going to comment on her mental health here. Your actions are not excused no matter what you may suffer from. Own up to what you do, learn, grow, change, but do not expect people to forgive you or make up with you. You are owed nothing at all when you do bad things. And, even with DID, the actions as the system as a whole come together. One action puts everyone at risk. So, even if she suffers from a form of DID/OSDD, they better not being try to say that she’s excused because “Devil Did It.” 

That’s not how this works. 

Suit Saeran admitted he fucked up. He took responsibility. Ray admits he made a lot of mistakes. He owns up to it. Everyone in the system takes responsibility for what happens. That’s just how it works. So, I don’t know what Rika is trying to do but... trying to make Saeran think they’re the same isn’t right. It’s just back to gaslighting. 

Trying to trick him. 

Even if I’m utterly wrong about Rika, this isn’t how you behave. In Rika Behind Story, they try to say Mika is at fault too, but Mika only helped Rika go through with it, and when Mika died, Rika kept doing it. She could have stopped and she didn’t. She made the drugs. Stole money to make her cult. ETC. Okay, she is in the wrong. She knows it. She admitted it. So, uh, Rika just stop talking you are giving me a headache. No matter how you spin it, ma’am, you’re wrong. 

Anyways, we jump to the Visual Novel and now Saeran and myself are on the run here. We left the hospital and headed out. We’re going to the apartment. He said that V owned it. You can even say that you [used to live in this area]. This uh, Reset Theory fear I had earlier is starting to really scare me a lot. I don’t know if it’s a jest or... 

I don’t know. 

The agency has made their attack. Saeyoung made a deal with Chairman Han in the background. You can call him and talk to him and Driver Kim after this chat, so do that if you can. Chairman Han tells us that Saeyoung cared for the RFA and wanted to help support Jumin after he sold the rights to C&R for his drinks. He gets nothing. It was meant for children in need. But, the Agency is using the offers sent to C&R and Jaehee to blow things up. 

Saeran knows that this is going to be bad. 

We both know it’s about to get really bad. It’s going to be hard to fight this sort of thing. Why are so many of these options self-aware? Is this just me? Am I the only one with this issue? 

Hm. Okay, so, Driver Kim gets to talk to us about Jumin. That man loves and cares for him and has been looking over him since he was a kid. He can’t believe V did what he did. He just can’t. He said V was cold before... he did photography, which makes a lot of sense to me. My God, I... it’s just a lot to take in. Don’t worry, Driver Kim is looking after Jumin and Jaehee.

I’m still iffy about Chairman Han. He has always... not been the best dad but I know in his own way he loves his son. Even if I don’t agree with the way that he shows his love. 

THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT OUT GOING CALL

I GET TO FEED HIM WHILE WE’RE DRIVING AND TORMENT HIM? IS THIS HEAVEN? 

No but really... my self-aware paranoia...

[21:56]

So, this chat is a Rika and V chat. V sends us the passcode for the apartment to use. It seems strange enough... the title of the chat says that it’s supposed to be normal chit-chat, but it’s not. We know that. It’s just a deceptive factor used to go and trick you into thinking that things will be okay. Here’s the thing, this gives us a lot more insight into what’s happening with V and Rika. I knew what was going on to an extent. 

This only further confirms that Rika is far too gone. It’s all about Rika, and what Rika feels and nothing else. There’s a few hints and teased at the Rika Behind Story and what she did with Mika in the apartment. V gave her the building, the entire thing. He owns the whole thing. That’s why... ah, there is a bomb. Nobody will die because it’s just an empty building. 

Now, I can’t even imagine being the MC in the Casual/Deep Routes because you are literally alone in a high floor of an abandoned apartment building but you don’t know that. Oh, my God. She talks about how she make Mint Eye there and my God, the banter between Rika and V here...

God, there’s so much pettiness? 

At the end of the day, we know that Jihyun feels himself a martyr. He wants to burn down with the building. He’s prepared to do it. He is prepared to suffer and weep and that is it. He’s taken that. He’s accepted Rika’s “devil” only because he knows nobody else can suffer if he takes her away. I don’t like that, and he does know that he’s wrong here. 

But, we know... I guess, that he still cares. 

Even if he’s willing to play the part of something that left them all behind and turned against them to suffer forever. 

He says that Jumin and C&R will be doomed. It’s not good. They’re making more and more threats. They aren’t the ones that are doing this but they say that they are involved with the ones that did it. But, they are working with them by having that deal and honestly, that’s not okay. They both are ignoring it for their own reasons. I still think that Rika wants to have the boys killed for her own safety and to get away. I don’t know if that’s what will happen but she keeps saying it has to be Saeran alone, and Saeyoung alone.

I don’t trust that. 

And, I won’t. 

Either way, there’s a really short Visual Novel. We arrive there and it’s... quiet, and it’s not a good sign. I never thought that we’d be here again, but we are and I don’t know what to think. So, we’re going to try in the morning so... that’s a thought to be had.

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST THE CALL AFTER THIS KILLED ME I CANNOT EVEN ENGLISH. HIGHLIGHTS CAUSE I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW ANYMORE.

[23:05]

[theninjamouse]

Ocean on Fire Phantom of the Opera AU Master List (To be added to as I see fit)

Strap in, this is gonna get long. Big thanks to @thaylepo for indulging me and sending many brilliant ideas. 

This is a basic rundown and ideas that would happen at some point in the story. Obviously some things could change or be added but I’ve just got to get this down before I go nuts

Shore and Grillby were childhood friends.

Shore is the child of a wealthy business man, taught from childhood that the arts are to be treasured and appreciated

However, while she may learn instruments and dance and music, she is to take over the family business, not run away to star in the opera like she wants

Grillby's father (he has parents in this au) was a famous violinist who often was called by Shore's father to perform for parties. He wound up teaching Shore fundamentals of music

Little Grillby was a shy flame. Always trailed along behind his father, clutching his tailcoats

Shore saw the tiny elemental and decided instantly: I'm going to be his BEST FRIEND

Queue stuttering, hesitant Grillby being dragged around the manor, getting into all sorts of trouble and adventures. He's a lot more hardy than Shore is, so he rather often found himself acting as a sort of guard dog. He was utterly distraught when Shore fell and broke her arm. Shore teased him about crying because she couldn’t stand to see him so upset

They also learn music together from Grillby's father. First time Shore hears Grillby sing, she grabs his face and screams with delight until the poor little guy is fully bright blue with blushing

Then Grillby's father dies. A family friend takes Grillby away to one of the opera houses to work. Grillby and Shore are 13 and 10 at this point and have spent the last 6 years together. Shore makes Grillby promise to keep singing, to keep the spark of his father alive through music. He promises

They both wait until they are out of sight of the other to cry

Grillby cries every night for the first 3 months in the opera house. As a monster, he is bullied by many of the other students. He mourns his father's passing and he misses Shore to a near unbearable level. The only comfort he has is when he sings quietly to himself in those few moments when he is alone doing his chores

Then he hears a voice, a soft and gentle voice that asks him why such a bright flame weeps. He runs away in fear and hides in his bed

But the voice asks him again and again. 'Why does such a bright flame weep?' Slowly, over the course of a year, Grillby tells the voice his story

The voice says he is the Phantom of the opera house. Grillby thinks he sounds rather young to be a Phantom

The Phantom replies that Grillby is rather young to have such a lovely voice. He offers to teach Grillby. The fire monster agrees upon hearing the Phantom's beautiful and haunting voice

After all, he did promise

15 years pass. Shore has taken over her family business and is finally able to offer herself as a patron to an opera house that has shown remarkable growth over the years, becoming well known in the arts circles

Partially thanks to the star of the show, a humanoid robot named Mettaton. Most of the monsters we know work the show behind the scenes, so having a monster in the lead is a new leap in gaining treatment that is more fair for monster kind as performers

But Mettaton is also a diva. The day Shore arrives with new managers, he throws his tantrum and quits after a rather suspicious accident.

Shore only has eyes for the fire elemental standing frozen with the rest of the crew. She suggests letting him take the lead role. Promising that she knows he can sing.

Grillby is so quiet most assumed he couldn't even talk so naturally protests break out and Shore maybe uses her power as a patron to insist. 'He promised me,' is all she says, looking right at him

So he sings and everyone is stunned at the strength and grace of his voice. The managers instantly whisk him away to prepare for the show

After the show, Shore goes to his new dressing room and they fall into each other's arms. They speak of times past, of the loneliness of being apart. But when Shore says that she wants to take him out to celebrate, he hesitates. The Phantom will not be happy if he leaves, he knows this

But he agrees and she leaves to let him change

Enter in The Phantom. Showing himself for the first time, a figure in black wearing a simple white mask over his face. White hands punched through the palms. Grillby is enchanted, dazed and follows The Phantom into the tunnels under the opera house

*Music of the Night noises*

Grillby has a bit of a Crisis because he genuinely cares about Phantom and they became very close friends as much as teacher and student but this is kind of odd?? A little frightening?

Phantom sees this, backpedals real hard but hides it and sends Grillby back upstairs before falling into bed and screaming into his pillow

When Shore finds Grillby vaguely wandering back into the theater, she goes, uh??? What happened?? Were you kidnapped? I kind of stayed up all night looking for you??

Grillby, still a little in shock because what the heck just happened "Kind of?"

Now that won't STAND

Shore starts digging to find out everything she can about this opera ghost, keeping a close eye on Grillby. There is no gaslighting here folks like in versions of the story that to this day drive me crazy

As Shore digs, accidents start happening. Loose floorboards, unlatched equipment, a falling sandbag or two. Shore catches on pretty quickly what’s happening when she catches just a flash of shadow more than once right before or after these little ‘incidents’ 

Finally plants herself down in the middle of the stage and calls for the Phantom to show his face. It takes a while then she sees a shadow just barely move. He’s up in the rafters, crouched like some kind of bat

“What is your freaking deal?” 

“Why are you trying to take what’s mine?” 

“Yours? He belongs to himself you dingbat”

That makes him laugh for reasons Shore doesn’t get

Conversation happens, a lot of dodging questions, shifting blame. Phantom is oddly charming. For being an attempted murdering/kidnapping jerk

“Are you the one who keeps trying to kill me? The sandbag dropped on my head, the broken trapdoor, the spiders in my hat??”

“Oh my God, I’m not responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in this place. It’s an old building, accidents do happen. 

“The sandbag was me though.”

Grillby materializes just to smack him in the head for that

And so it goes, Grillby and Shore trying to reconnect, Grillby trying to maintain a level of friendship (and maybe more?) with Phantom and Phantom attempting various levels of accidents to get Shore to leave the theater

Until one day he finds Shore on the stage. She’s singing to an empty theater. She’s not...good exactly but...rather unpracticed. He’s startled enough that he stops his evil giggling and untwisting of the hidden trapdoor in the stage to listen. 

He comes up silently, creeping on the edges just out of sight. When he speaks, Shore shrieks and nearly falls off the stage anyway. Her blushing does a weird thing to his Soul. Like a sort of flip flopping squeeze. 

“Well, if you’re going to think yourself worthy of my Flame, you’d better have a voice to match. Let me hear you sing again.”  

Many ‘threat’ filled lessons later-

“Hmm. Maybe there’s hope for you after all” 

“Maybe there’s more to you than a creepy stalker personality.” 

Past the Point of No Return scene happens at some point. I don’t make the rules

Also Phantom and Shore have a sword fight that maybe starts out as anger fueled but rather quickly changes to a pent up Feelings kind of deal

Grillby’s concern is quick to fade and he watches the two idiots dance around each other, wondering why exactly they don’t see how much they actually do like each other. 

It’s also at this moment he realizes fully that he loves them both

“Well shoot, I love these two morons and they love each other but won’t admit it. This is going to be very ‘fun’ to sort out”

Eventually, Shore asks for Phantom’s name. 

“My name...died with the person I was long ago.” 

“Maybe it’s time you reclaim it.��� 

His name is Wing Dings Gaster and for countless years he was held by the Void. He doesn’t fully remember how he escaped, nor what he looked like before. All he knows is that his face is broken with terrible cracks and skeletal in only the vaguest sense with a body that ebbs and flows with darkness. When he first stumbled back into the light after the darkness of the Void, people screamed and ran from him. Or worse, they chased him, calling him an omen of death. So he retreated down below the theater and resigned himself to always be a watcher and made a mask to cover his face. 

He was alone for years until he heard young Grillby crying in a corner and sat as close as he dared. It took a while for him to gain the courage to speak to the elemental

Given the fluid nature of his body, it’s easy for him to change his voice to sing. It’s the only part of himself that he can see as holding any worth. 

Grillby was his only source of socialization and he’s terrified of losing him, which makes Phantom a tad bit clingy with some pretty severe separation anxiety 

Phantom is a sad, sad boy who needs a lot of hugs and therapy

Shore is kind to him despite it all (and despite the irritation at the ‘death threats’) 

Phantom finally admits that she was never in any actual danger because he might be a messed up guy but he’s not a murderer. He might have even nudged her out of the way with blue magic a few times to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

Eventually Phantom realizes he no longer wants her to leave. He wants to stand with her and Grillby. He wants to be a better monster but he doesn’t know how to do that so kind of retreats into his lair 

Grillby and Shore have to track him down. And queue the heart to heart, the great Crying Session, the Unmasking or whatever you wanna call it

And they all live an OT3 happy ending, the end

[queeranne]

Girl, please spill the tea on how you and the ex found out he was cheating

Alright, a few people have asked me this now so here we go. I’ll try to keep it short but that probably won’t happen. Also I hope your expectations aren’t too high. I remember this as being super dramatic but I was also one of the main characters and I was emotionally invested. So I think I was 18 and he was 19. He was part of my brother’s friend group, which I was also part of at some point. We had dated for about 4 months, but he never wanted to make it official because he “wanted to get to know me better”. This was really frustrating because we acted like a couple but never actually were. At some point I started feeling like this was all my fault for not being  ✨amazing ✨enough. Afterwards I think he just tried to justify his cheating. Apart from that, there were many many other red flags (that I chose to ignore because I was young, naiv and liked him a lot). I don’t remember all of them as this was almost 10 years ago. But one of the biggest red flags was his “friendship” with his ex. I’m gonna call her Stella because that was her name lol he doesn’t deserve one so I’m gonna keep calling him “he”. They had been broken up for a year I think but they were still in contact. Apparently her home situation wasn’t great (this was true) and they were close friends and supported her. I knew this and was kind of... okay-ish about it. I’m no one to yell “being friends with an ex NEVER EVER works!” because this isn’t true, sometimes it does. The only thing that actually bothered me was: she was still in love with him. She knew it, he knew it and I knew it. Because he told me things she said and did that CLEARLY implied this repeatedly. He kind of bragged about it, made a little bit fun of it. But also let it restrict him a lot. “oh no I can’t do this, because of Stella... she’ll be crushed... I want to protect her”. This obviously annoyed me and I told him several times to be honest with her and tell her that they will never ever get back together (& yes of course I made a Taylor Swift joke, who do you think I am??). He always assured me that he told her that clearly and repeatedly. 

Alright so after 4 months of dating he decided to break up with me because he just wasn’t feeling it (probably because I wouldn’t have sex with him as long as we weren’t officially together. Good for you, past Anne! 💪 Maybe deep deep down I knew...). And 2 weeks after that, there was a big party in our town (similar to Halloween, everyone dresses up and gets really drunk). Lots of people I knew were there, my friend group and I went together, including him. And somewhere in the crowd, I also saw.... Stella! He had not stopped messaging me even though we weren’t dating anymore. He just enjoyed being wanted. This was particularly clear when I ignored him for a while, he always always messaged me. I was heartbroken and just wanted to get over him so this whole situation was not ideal. So that night, I ignored his message (”are you having fun?”, dude... just come up to me and ask me, I’m right here. And yes of course I’m having fun. Can’t you see me killing it on the dance floor????). So I was dancing, having fun, ignoring his ass when suddenly all my friends were like “oh shit, he lost his phone! Everyone help looking for his phone!”. This was a big public party with lots of people we didn’t know and suddenly his phone was gone. We all looked for it but couldn’t find it. Oh well, do I care? Nah.  Until! Stella came up to me and was like: “Anne can we talk?”. I was like oooooh shit what now. So we went to a quiet spot and she shoved HIS PHONE IN MY FACE and said “So I found his phone and figured out his passcode” (red flag are not only for him I guess) “and I saw your conversation and how you told him that he should be honest with me and that he lets himself be too restricted by me”. Looking back this was such a huge violation of not only his privacy but also mine. I felt caught even though I didn’t do anything wrong.  But instead of asking me to explain this, she said “I have a question for you. Is there something between you and him?”.  And I was like.... well we dated for 4 months but that’s over now so go get him??? AND SHE BROKE DOWN CRYING. I was super confused until she explained to me that they had been seeing each other for MONTHS and had had sex at least once a week. He was never clear about not being interested but also never actually said that he was. She had hopes that they would get back together eventually and kept sleeping with him (because that’s better than nothing, right? WRONG!). And she had no idea that he was seeing me the whole time.  Meanwhile, I was dating him, not having sex because...well I was a virgin and I wanted it to be real and special and he just couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to be with me. So we just dated in a kind of old fashioned way, both talking about serious relationships and how we really want that...  This was a huge shock for me, because even though we weren’t dating anymore, this was still super fresh. I was still very invested and my broken heart was just stepped on repeatedly after I found out.  Okay so how did he deal with all of this? He was at that party too, not too far away from us. We were both furious and we had his phone.  Well I actually don’t remember how he got his phone back but what he did was; he gave his phone to a friend saying “take it for a few days, I can’t deal with the drama” and he left. Just went home. Obviously that party was over for all of us so after catching up with Stella on how much of an asshole he is, the rest of us went home as well.  When he got his phone back after a few days, he texted me “so I heard you made some drama at the party”.  He was kicked out of the friend group for 1-2 years. He gaslighted me for a while until he finally owed up to it and apologized (saying he was stupid for messing up his friendship with the group over this, so he was sorry and regrets it. Well..... that should NOT be the reason). I see him maybe every other year at some party, we’re friendly with each other and I’m now in a very healthy relationship with an awesome guy who would never do this to me.  The End.