#good enough mentally for that right now. so...! yeah!

[astertimberwolf]

Yeah... Because people suck. Not everyone, mind you- but specifically those that always remember you for your mistakes and not as a living, breathing flawed person, who is literally just trying their best all the time.

(Anti-)Social media has created a bunch of narcissists and abusers- if said people weren't that rotten to begin with... It's made it possible for mass hysteria, judgement and paranoia to spread like a virus... uncontrolled, unbridled, only ever feeding an infinite cycle of negative emotions.

I will say it now and I will say it again if I have to: continuous and thoughtless judgment dismisses and strips away a person's dignity, as well as their value and right to exist as another sentient being, capable of experiencing the same, complex emotions, issues and challenges we all face in our daily lives.

In terms of Argumentation, it's the most damning and unforgiving form of shutting down someone's self-worth and right to self-expression: attacking someone's character. If a person is deemed "bad" or "untrustworthy", it doesn't matter how true or right they are about a subject or situation- nobody will (want to) listen to what they have to say if they are being perceived as a bad actor or unlikeable individual.

It's why the phenomenon of "cancelling" people on any given online platform is so inherently toxic. It incites online mobs, channeling hate and negativity towards an individual for making a mistake, however big or small, without looking at the circumstances- and, oftentimes, while also not letting the person—whose character is under fire—express themselves...

... and then people wonder why their mental health completely tanks when they're exposed to online spaces like Twitter / X, TikTok or Instagram. It's fairly simple: none of those platforms are designed while keeping in mind the user's wellbeing. They don't benefit the user. They pander and cater to the user on occasion to keep them hooked onto content- but they all answer to CEOs, whose end goal is lining their own pockets. NEVER forget that.

We need to push back against the damage they have caused. We need to reintroduce giving people the benefit or the doubt- or ignoring situations we know virtually nothing about... and leave the people involved be.

If a crime has occurred, there is a legal system to handle it. Mobbing someone or going on a White-knighting crucade- by leaving nasty DMs, comments, etc. isn't going to solve anything.

...

People judge others constantly because it's easy. Easier than trying to understand life in its complexity and the nuance behind situations and individuals... but also because it's quick and often makes them feel better about themselves, completely "absolving" them from personal responsibility when they themselves don't show any better behaviour. The truth is a hard pill to swallow: there are very few inherently good and inherently bad people. We all have a bad side. We can all become monsters and take part in a mob if we find a reason to hate someone enough... As well as easily dismiss how evil that looks from the outside if it so happens that the person we stoned alive turned out to be innocent after all.

Humans are some f*cked up creatures. I know that all-too-well due to lots of bad personal experiences, ranging from uncomfortable to traumatic, but also from my own human side being flawed (I refuse to be a hypocrite in that sense).

I would be lying if I said that I have never felt any rage, hate or resentment towards the people that hurt me and s*xually (or otherwise) abused me. A part of me wishes for karma to serve them back what they did to me tenfold- if only to make them understand the gravity / severity of the damage it can cause to someone and teach them an important life lesson... However, at the same time, I also don't agree with the constant suffering redistributed by the karmic system. I despise it because, at times, it tortures people across multiple lives in ways that are non-sensical and just plain cruel. I exist with this paradox within me... and I know it's the same for other people as well. I'm hated, after all... for the bad and hurt I have, more often than not, unintentionally inflicted upon people from my past... and when there was damage done with intention or purpose, I have later come to regret it or feel like sh*t for having been that way. Worst of all, what I regret the most remains all the futile attempts I have made with good intentions, trying to help other people but not knowing how to- where I ended up damaging them instead. Those are the kinds of mistakes that live with you forever, because they make you feel like you're incapable of doing anything good even when you try your best and hardest.

...

Well, this post has gotten long enough as is. Autism + ADHD strike again.

To wrap things up / in essence... Don't be that shitty person on social media who just constantly judges and dismisses people as if they were dirt under your shoe. If you really want to call or see yourself as someone inherently good, you have to be perceptive rather than judgemental and empathize with people... See the kind of psychological and emotional damage dissing and judging someone for their mistakes can cause (spoiler alert: it's long-term damage and it takes years for a person to recover from that, if they ever recover at all).

As for my own past mistakes... I have since moved on... At least from the emotional and psychological elements that kept tormenting me. At the end of the day, my mistakes are my own to bear... the worst of them will forever live with me, for I cannot forget the hard lessons they have taught me, nor change the outcome or reverse the damage caused...

... I can only become a wiser and better version of myself as I keep getting older.

...That's what real maturity is all about.

“No one notices your tears, no one notices your sadness, no one notices your pain but they all notice your mistakes.”

— Unknown

[legrzybek]

I am the angstling and I feed on angst,,, jk jk, but could I possibly request to see some more of your ideas for forsakened azuretime? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

mY BAD FOR TAKING SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS I GOT SIDETRACKED SO MANY TIMES I WAS STRUGGLINF

THIS IS SUCH A MESSY RAMBLE MB IM JUST TYPING WHATEVER COMES TO MIND

so hmmm. how they are in combat,..,

in my mind, two time is very sneaky and stealthy, relying on that element of surprise to attack, then retreating back into the shadows,, upfront combat is a bit of a problem for them, however they're quite good at dodging. when a hit lands on them for the first time though,,, that's when it goes downhill and they're rather easy to take out by then.

meanwhile azure is straight up brute force, his movements uncoordinated and unpredictable, pummeling at the opponent with whatever he can like a violent beast. however, he sometimes hesitates or suddenly stops in his tracks, before lashing out again and continuing the chase with even more vigor.

azure is very VERY unstable due to constantly trying to fight for control within his own mind. iM having a hard time trying to describe it but his emotions are greatly amplified and fluctuate constantly, his thoughts clash with eachother so hard, every word that he tries to speak is twisted by the spectre's influence, and he's fully aware of everything andjust going insane with every moment. it's actual torture for him dude fuck the specshit

also. both pre-rework and reworked two time are canon in my interp

its kind of hard to describe bc their mental state is like. a weird mix between self-awareness and delusion buT after everything that happened, i feel like two time isn't just blindly devoted to spawn, as much as they try to desperately believe that,, they feel like a disgrace for even having any kind of doubt, even hatred, towards their god, quickly trying to push those thoughts away, yet they endlessly creep up again.

if it truly loved them, would it really want to make them suffer like this? no, no, they've been blessed unlike any other. everything they had to do, have to go through now, is necessary to see if they're truly worthy of that blessing. it will have its payoff. they just need to prove themselves. the almighty knows what's best for them, after all. it loves them. it's all because it loves them. right??? right???????????

before killer azure came into the mix i feel like they were leaning more towards that delusional state, primarily focusing on the spawn, somewhat repressing some memories regarding azure etc etc buT it all came crashing down when he appeared, their true self coming to light,, they couldn't repress shit anymore, unable to keep up that facade of an ideal follower, became a lot more prone to breakdowns etc

the spectre took notice of that overall crisis and was like hey i can make this even worse LMFAO

they recieved their dagger, and ok yeah that alone was enough to make rhem feel uneasy and they were reluctant to use it but then. the second life stopped activating. AND THAT RLY FUCKED WITH THEM,., they were convinced it was due to that doubt and dwindling faith, they weren't worthy in the eyes of spawn anymore, all that stuff,,,

but even then. i think they avoided stabbing azure like the plague. i REFUSE to believe they'd just mindlessly keep doing that 💔💔 the one time they deliberately did it was bc they felt pressured to do it,, they have to help their team like this now, and if they don't everyone will have a problem with them and scold them (which no thats just what their own paranoia believed would happen but in reality i imagine the other survivors actually like understanding why they'd react the way they do after learning what happened between those two,, ofc yeah theyre still unsettled by them esPECIALLY BC THEY NOW KNOW THAT THEY KILLED A MAN but dawg theyre clearly struggling why would they actively add more salt to the wound they genuinely dgaf if they stab the killer or not)

other than that, they only did it in some cases when they were backed into a corner and/or close to dying as some kind of instinctual self defense, their body acting against their will essentially. but either way they always felt fucking AWFUL afterwards, usually accepting their death atp. they rly don't want to hurt him again but they still did it so they're the scum of the earth and they never changed - that's what they think

sometimes in rounds with azure they just. hide away in a corner somewhere,, because they can't bring themselves to go out there and face him they think theyre a coward and a disgrace for it but they just can't,, they wallow in shame and pray until either the round ends or they reach lms (orr rarely azure finds them before lms)

i also definitely imagine azure holding their corpse and crying over it before hes forced to get up and throw them to the ground again whoopsies

this has been sittinng in my drafts for WAY TOO LONG so that.s all

[undead-knick-knack]

Good news everyone! I unlocked the dialogue ability of writing! Here's another Laudmoore fic, it's basically a love confession scene, hope you enjoy :)

Ashton was staring at her. He knew he was, but he couldn’t make himself stop. He especially couldn’t look away from her lips. Every smile made his heart skip a beat, and he couldn’t bear to look away. Fuck, he’d gotten sappy. He’d probably feel embarrassed if they weren’t too busy worrying about telling her.

She was sitting at a booth with most of their party while he had planted himself at the bar with a cheap bottle of wine. He knew he was coming off as standoffish, but he needed to mentally prepare himself.

He’d been struggling to find the right balance between drunk enough to be brave, and not too drunk that he blacked out. He needed to find this balance soon before Laudna herself was too drunk to understand him; to know he wasn’t just bullshitting her.

He was about halfway through the bottle before he finally decided it was now or never. Okay, they knew that wasn’t the case but he needed to stop putting this off. Before some other catastrophe happened and he lost his fucking nerve again.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he got up from his stool and headed towards the booth, the witches had fallen into a fit of giggles and Ashton thought this might be a good opportunity to get Laudna to follow him with little notice. And lucky for him, she was sitting on the end, so it wasn’t difficult to get her attention.

“Psst, Laudna,” whispered Ashton, ducking down and trying to be covert.

“Oh, Ashton! Have you decided to join us?” Laudna said, between giggles, “are you done brooding about whatever it is?”

If anyone else had said that, Ashton would’ve assumed they were being passive aggressive about going off on their own, but he knew Laudna was being genuine when she asked questions like this.

“Uh, I was actually hoping I could steal you away for a bit. There’s something I want to talk with you about. In private.”

Laudna gave him an appraising look, like she was trying to decide if he was serious or not. Before breaking into a wide grin and replying, “Sure! Lead the way!”

Ashton does his best to hide the relief he feels. They really didn’t want to try to explain himself in the middle of a busy tavern, within earshot of the others. He headed towards the rooms, half-empty wine bottle in hand—he thought they might still need some liquid courage—checking backing every couple of steps to make sure Laudna was still there.

---

“So, Ashton, you wanted to speak with me in private,” said Laudna, as he shut the door behind them.

“Uh, yeah, it’s just,” Ashton paused for a moment, wondering where or how to begin. When he a thought suddenly occurred to them. “Yeah, just hold on a second.” He moved to go look under the bed.

“Oh, did you hide something there? You’re not going to kill me are you,” Laudna asked, with barely restrained glee in her voice.

“What? Fuck. No. I’m just making sure Chetney isn’t here.” Ashton looked under the bed, he couldn’t see much but he could see straight through to the other side unobstructed. “The wile fucker has a habit of showing up in rooms he hasn’t been invited to.”

“Chetney? Oh, don’t worry about him, last I saw he was passed out under the table next to a pile of chicken bones,” said Laudna.

“Was he breathing?”

“Not sure. I suppose we’ll find out in the morning,” said Laudna, with an almost conspiratorial look in her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess we will.”

“Why all the concern about Chetney? You’re not trying to rope me into some plot against him, are you?” Again, Laudna asked with barely restrained glee.

“Fuck no. This isn’t about him, it couldn’t fucking be less about him.”

Ashton took a deep, shuddering breath. He’d felt so much braver just a minute ago. He knew he needed to say something, and soon. Laudna was looking at them with large quizzical eyes, clearly wondering what this could possibly be about. He took a swig from his wine bottle.

“Laudna, I think I’m—"

Don’t say you’re in love you fucking idiot! That’s too fucking much too fucking fast!

“Umm... I have... I think—hold on a sec.” Ashton took another swig from his wine bottle.

“Ashton,” Laudna started tentatively. “Are you alright? Is something wrong? You’re not planning on leaving us, are you?”

“What? Fuck! No! Nothing like that, kinda the opposite really.” Ashton took a deep breath. “Um... This, this might be easier if I don’t look at you while I try to say this.”

“Ok,” Laudna said, concern written all over her face. “Would you like me to turn around? Would that help?”

Ashton wanted to hug her. “Actually, yeah, that’s not a bad idea. But I’ll turn around.”

Ashton turned on their heel, clutching the wine bottle in his hand with a grip so tense Laudna was vaguely worried it might shatter. He stood stalk still, like if he moved a muscle he’d fall apart. He was staring at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

After a few steadying breaths he began, “I... Have feelings for you, and I don’t know if I’m fucking things up between us by saying anything, but—FUCK—I feel like if I don’t, I’m going to fucking lose it. I want, I want to fall asleep with you in my arms, and wake up with you still there. The mere thought of anything happening to you again fucking terrifies me beyond reason and makes me feel like I can’t breathe. And I just need to get this fucking out of me because I can’t stand the idea of you not knowing any of this about me.” The relief of finally getting everything out in the open could’ve brought Ashton to their knees.

He could feel Laudna still standing behind him, staring. Ashton wanted to take another swig of wine, maybe turn back around, but found they couldn’t move. But he was waiting for Laudna to signal them in some way. A word, a touch, hell they’d even accept the slamming of the door if it at least meant this torturous quiet would end.

“Ashton...” He felt a cool, tender touch to his shoulder. With a gentle grip, Laudna turned him to face her. He couldn’t help but continue to stare at the floor, fearing they’d be met with a look of pity. “Oh, Ashton,” was the only warning he got before Laudna engulfed him into a tight hug. Her spindly arms wrapping around his neck, her face buried into their shoulder. Carefully, like they were afraid to spook her, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him with a quiet desperation.

---

They were both sitting on the floor, their backs to the bed. His legs splayed out, while she was curled up and leaning against him. Her head was on their shoulder giving a reassuring pressure, their hands intertwined. Ashton couldn’t help staring at the interlocked fingers, like he couldn’t believe that this was really happening.

“I wanted to say something back in Issylra,” Ashton said, “but after all that shit went down with Bor’Dor, I kinda lost my nerve. I’ve been trying to figure out how to say something since.”

“I’m glad you found your nerve, I never would’ve said anything, because, well, I guess I always just assumed you and Fearne were a thing.”

“Fuck, yeah, I can see why you’d think that. But no. I think she just likes to flirt with me, and I’m not used to someone like her giving me attention like that.” Ashton swallows before continuing. “But she isn’t the one who I want. She doesn’t make me feel the fucking way you do.” Ashton lifted their hands, kissing each one of Laudna’s knuckles.

“Like what?” Ashton could hear the teasing smile on her lips.

“Like I can breathe easy, while also simultaneously taking my fucking breath away. Like I want to talk about anything and everything fucking endlessly. Like I’m not just some weird looking fuckup, but someone who’s on equal footing. Like we both understand each other and our broken fucking parts. Like we could,” Ashton takes a deep breath, “like we could maybe fall in love so fucking easily,” Ashton would've kept going, but he felt Laudna gently cup his cheek to face her.

The look in her eyes was enough to make his voice catch, filled to the brim with so much affection it made his heart ache. They both sat there a moment, unable to speak, like there weren’t any words that could possibly convey what they wanted the other to know right now in this moment.

Ashton maybe started to say something when Laudna closed the distance between them and kissed him.

[one-sunny]

Wrong Time | Angry

14: When you move to a new town, you don’t expect to run into your high school sweetheart. Old feelings begin to arise and you are suddenly faced with the complexity of relationships, communication, and the struggle for true connection.

Warning: 18+ only. contains sexual themes and content, toxic relationships, toxic behaviors, destructive behaviors, complex feelings, anxiety, reader x other characters mention, slow burn, angst, cheating

You were freezing. And you were angry.

Lucci had been such a sweetheart on your first date to the cafe. Quiet, a bit shy, and an absolute pleasure to be around. You found it absolutely endearing when he ordered an extra bagel and proceeded to stop in the park on your walk home to feed the pigeons. When he asked you on a second date, you were eager to jump at the chance.

But now you were angry.

You had taken the bus to meet him at the little theater, a conflict of your schedules that would make you miss the movie if he picked you up. And now here you were.

You waited. And waited. And waited. And now you were angry.

Stupid was an understatement. You agreed to a midnight showing of a movie you truly didn’t care about. As such, the bus had stopped running. He would drive you home so it was all okay, right? You were mentally kicking yourself.

“Pick up, pick up.” You grumble, holding the phone between your ear and your shoulder so your hands were free to warm your arms. The line connects. “Hello?” You impatiently utter.

“Hey! What’s up girl, how did your date go?” A giggle bubbles through the phone. Right. Nami was drunk. You were almost certain the others were too. Her Sangria was strong.

“He stood me up.” You speak through grit teeth.

“What?” She’s drunkenly shouting down the line. “You gotta be kidding me, i’ll kill that guy!”

“The bus isn’t running and, ugh!”

“Awh, now I feel bad.” She whines down the line. “None of us are good to drive. Maybe try calling Luffy? I think he’s with Ace and Sabo. One of them should be able to come pick you up.”

You would rather die than let them know you were in this situation. It was bad enough that she would likely drunkenly spill to Robin, Ussop, and Franky about this whole thing. “Yeah, maybe.” You grumble. “I might just walk it. It’s really not that far.”

“No way! It’s a bad neighborhood.”

Casting a look around, you understood what she meant. Everything felt off. You didn’t exactly feel safe. But that meant that you probably shouldn’t stick around making calls much longer. “Exactly. That means I should start walking now before the movie ends and people come out.”

“Stay on the phone with me then.”

You huff, feeling even more stupid. “I can’t. I’m on ten percent and I need a gps.”

“No!” She whines. “I’m coming to get you.”

“Absolutely not. If you’re as drunk as you sound, we’ll both be killed.” You shake your head dejectedly. “I’ll text when I get home, okay? I’ll be safe.”

The phone hangs up before she can protest. Your eyes turn in the direction you came, sucking in a deep breath, and taking off in that direction. Walking fast. Trying to get out as soon as possible from the concern in her voice. Gps guiding your way and draining your battery even faster.

It’s a long, long walk. Worse than you expected. Liberty Street seemed to stretch on as long as possible. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you pass by two men sharing a joint. Their eyes track you for a long moment but they make no move to follow.

You breathe a sigh of relief.

That’s when you notice a dark blue car approaching, driving uncomfortably slow. They pass into the empty lane of oncoming traffic to be close to the sidewalk. Tires rolling at the speed of your movements. Your heart is in your throat.

Then the window rolls down. “Get in.” The voice makes you tense for a whole different reason. Blue eyes stare back at you from the drivers seat. You stand in place, gaping at him. “Now.”

“Sanji? What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you don’t die.” His hands grip tighter to the wheel. “Now get in.”

“I’m fine, but thanks. I’m not that far-“

“I’m not going to say it again.” Sanji snaps, voice raised at you. You can count on one hand the times that you have heard this directed at you in all your years of knowing him. “Get in.”

With a glance around the sketchy neighborhood, you finally step around the car to climb into the passenger seat. Heat instantly envelops you, tinged with tabasco and spice. Sanji says nothing as you buckle in. His jaw is clenched tight and his eyes focused on the road.

You tug out your phone. Two percent. Did you send him???

Sorry. Nami doesn’t take long to reply.

You could cut the tension with a knife. You had every right to be angry, yet it couldn’t combat the anger coming off of him in waves. Silence. There’s nothing you can do or say. It drones on.

All the way to your apartment building. He pulls into a parking spot and throws the car in park. Then, you hear the click of his seatbelt. Brows pulled together, you look over to him, he still avoids your eyes. “I’m capable of getting inside by myself.” But he opens the car door anyways.

The tension carries inside and onto the elevator. A bright ding at each floor. Then Sanji follows you down the hallway and to your door.

“So,” You break the silence as you shove the key into the lock. “Do you want to come in and tell me why you’re so mad at me, or are you just gonna fume in the hallway?” A look is thrown his way but Sanji remains silent. However, he follows right behind as you finally open the door.

And the tension grows even heavier.

You stop in the kitchen for a glass of water and Sanji simply stands in the doorway, watching you. Something flares up inside of you. Wanting to break the silence while also being too stubborn for it.

You stare back at each other for a long, long time.

Sanji swallows hard, arms crossing over his chest and his jaw set. “Do you even realize how dangerous that neighborhood is?” His voice is surprisingly soft. “How stupid it was for you to try and walk home.”

“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“You should have never even put yourself into that situation-“

“Putting myself in the situation?” You laugh incredulously and Sanji bristles. “Sanji, are you joking?”

A hand raises to pinch at the bridge of his nose and he intakes a sharp breath. “You can’t be so reckless. I know I have no control over your life but maybe you should try to make better choices about the guys you date and things won’t end up like this.” His words are sharp, striking you in all the wrong ways.

“Oh. Oh no.” You quickly shake your head with a humorless laugh. “You’re one to talk.”

“I’m one to talk?” He snaps back.

“Yeah, Sanji. You’re one to talk.” You offer the energy back on a silver platter and the man doesn’t seem too happy for it. “Maybe you should take your own advice here. Sure, I got stood up, but at least i’m not dating the devil herself.”

“Leave Vera out of this-“

“No! Because if you get to be all judgmental about my dating life, then I get to comment on yours too!” Anger bubbles up inside of you as you stare back at the blonde.

“No because this isn’t about me!” His voice is rising just as steadily as yours. “You didn’t have to pick me up in the middle of the night in a literal gang neighborhood! My decisions don’t matter to you.”

“And mine matter to you?” You’re shouting at him now, matching the energy tenfold. “You do remember how you’ve been ghosting all of us, right? You’re not even you anymore. I’m shocked you even cared enough to pick up Nami’s call.”

“You don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Throw my decisions in my face. Like i’m the stupid one here-“

“You’re calling me stupid? When you’re pushing away everyone that cares about you for some manipulative piece of-“

“Leave her out of this!” Sanji is quick to cut you off. “You could have been hurt! You’re so stupid for even stepping foot in that neighborhood, okay? It’s way too dangerous for you to be there.”

“I genuinely don’t understand why you’re so mad at me!” Hands thrown up in the air as you’re both absolutely fuming. “You don’t have a right to be so protective of me. In case you haven’t noticed, things changed between us over the years.”

“Maybe they have! But guess what?” Sanji shouts at you. “The one thing that hasn’t changed is how easy it is to love you.” The words rush out of him and you’re struck with such a mix of emotions it is impossible to pin even one down. “And that’s driving me crazy.”

That statement allows one thing to push to the surface, one that could be mistaken for anger. “Oh, you have no right to talk to me like that.” You grit out. “You have a girlfriend!” Heat blooms inside of your chest and tensions continue to build inside the room, threatening to blow up. “Why are you with her if you’re still so in love with me?”

“I’m with her because I can’t have you!”

You’re not even sure if the man is aware of his words, or if it is simply the heat of the moment. How freely he admits that he was settling for the woman that seemed to loathe you so much. You suppose now it all makes sense but that’s not the thought you are dwelling on.

“Says who!” You watch as Sanji’s curly brows pull together in confusion with head tipped to the side. He looks adorable but you were too caught up to allow that thought to linger. “I never rejected you, Sanji. You’re the one who counted yourself out by getting back with her.”

“Because you were seeing that jerk with the red hair.”

That strikes a nerve in you, “I was just sleeping with him!” The words burst out of you in such a way that Sanji recoils, his face conveying his every emotion. For some reason, that angers you further. “And I stopped for you because i’m still in love with you!” The words make you halt. Something that you hadn’t even admitted to yourself finally surfacing. In front of Sanji, nonetheless.

“What?” His voice is shaky, disbelieving.

You grit your teeth, “You heard me.”

And that’s when Sanji takes a bold step forwards, “Say it again.” And then another step closer. And another. You watch his every move with bated breath. In fact, you’re both breathing shaky from a mix of your yelling and the tense air.

“No.”

He moves even closer, until he is standing right before you. “Say it,” He leans in until you’re face to face. “Say it. Again.” Puff of his air fills your space, panted breaths.

You curse yourself for allowing your eyes to meet his, because your resolve effectively crumbles. Because this is Sanji. Your Sanji. “I’m still in love-“

He abruptly pushes forwards to cut you off, lips crashing together. You hesitate for only a moment as your brain processes the sudden intrusion. Then, your arms move to loop around his neck in an instant and he pulls you in by your hips.

It’s needy.

Desperate.

Full of so much pent up longing,

You’re not even sure when you started moving, but your feet are stumbling until you hit the counter. Being caged in against his body, feeling his hands gripping your hips in desperation, and the taste of his tongue all seems to overwhelm your senses at once.

The buzzing in the air doesn’t even process in your mind until Sanji is finally pulling away from your lips. He places a searing kiss to your jaw and the buzzing halts. As teeth delicately nip at the underside of your jaw, the buzzing fills the air again. His lips are on your throat when you finally recognize what that insistent buzzing was.

Phone lit up from the table beside of his keys, your hazy mind finally catches on.

“Sanji.” You call to him, but that only makes his body push closer to yours. “Wait, stop.” Weakly pushing at his shoulder, Sanji jerks his head away from your neck. “You’re still with her.” Your breaths are shaky and you really wish you didn’t have to stop him. But this wasn’t Sanji.

His forehead leans against yours as you both try to catch your breath. “I’m breaking up with her.” He declares as he squeezes your hip. “I only want you.” Lips brush over yours and it takes all of your will power to nudge him away again. “Always been you.”

“This is...” You shake your head, balling his hoodie up in your hands as you remain close. “You haven’t broken up with her yet. You’re gonna regret it if we go any further than this.”

“I’ll never regret you.”

Then your lips are clashing together again, teeth knocking with the urgency. A deep groan vibrates from within his chest, easily popping you up onto the counter and stepping between your legs. His tongue parts your lips and you’re suddenly flooded with the taste of him. Its overwhelming. It begs for more. It satiates everything that you had been searching for through the hook ups you found yourself in.

Sanji is sucking on your tongue and you’re not sure how much longer you can keep this up without combusting. Heat floods into your stomach. A moan pulls from your lips and Sanji is pulling you in ever closer, gripping tight to your waist. If his nails were any longer, they certainly would have pierced your skin, though you didn’t mind a few marks left behind by him.

Then he’s pulling away to bury his face in your neck, inhaling your perfume. Savoring the moment. As if you would so easily slip through his fingers. “So pretty.” His voice is muffled against your skin.

His lips are back on your throat soon after and you don’t have any time for clarity before he is nipping at the sensitive skin. He explores until you gasp at a certain spot, his teeth sinking in to pull an even more desperate noise that goes straight through him, tongue soothing the spot after.

Then the buzzing comes back and you can feel it all over you. Confused, you shift, only to realize the weight in your pocket. Huh. You assumed your phone had already died.

And you’re aware of so much more. Of the buzzing of Sanji’s phone for the nth time. Vera was probably fuming.

Your brain goes back into a loop of the conversation you just had with the man still attacking your skin with his lips. You wanted him. Needed him. But this wasn’t truly him. This was the desperate version that Vera reduced him to. Sanji wasn’t a cheat.

“Sanj, honey, wait.” You breathe harshly. He pulls back to look at you with blown out eyes, lips swollen and wet with his spit. So tempting. “You- We can’t keep-“ His cheeks are flushed and your will power is dwindling. “Not until you break up with her.”

Sanji’s cheeks flush an even deeper red at this and he drops his forehead to lean against your chest. Crumbling into your arms. Where he belongs. A shaky breath fans your wet skin, “I- I’m sorry, I-“

“I know.” You shift to allow your hands to rest on either side of his cheeks, pulling him up to press a slow, lingering kiss to his lips. Sanji sighs and melts into the embrace. It’s far calmer than the very intense moment you had, but it still floods your body with thick emotion. “And I’ll be right here when it’s done, okay?” Your thumb brushes over his cheek. “And we can pick this back up tomorrow after you talk to her, okay?”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Series Masterlist | Chapter 15

Taglist: @thekatisspooky @teacarby @zoecelestine @vespidphoenix @mere-mortifer @sagyunaro @dailybrekker @meow-0x0

[fanboyzuko]

Can we get some kavi and zuko bonding? Or if not then some zuko and first crew bonding, just some really fluffy stuff...

Also I can't believe it's the 5th anniversary??? That's insane... I only started the series this year but it's so cool that you've stuck with it for so long, you're so cool honestly HAHA

Countdown to LTF's return: 15 days!

Heheh ty <33 and now! We getting BOTH crews bonding >D part 1 today. Part 2 will be tomorrow :'3

The journey back to the Sazanami from Gaoling was uneventful, but long. Zuko was still physically exhausted from his solo-journey from the desert and mentally exhausted from Uncle’s lectures. As soon as he exchanged brief greetings with his friends and the crew, Zuko collapsed face-first on his bed.

A knock on his door pulled Zuko out of his slumber. The sun cast a golden hue and long shadows in his room. He groggily sat up as Bun Ma’s voice called through the door, “Princey, come have dinner with us!”

Seriously? Even after spending months living as Huizhong with the Xitao Tribe, Bun Ma’s complete disregard for decorum still shocked him. Ah, whatever, it wasn’t like he actually cared at this point.

“Fine,” he called back. “Let me get changed.”

“Ugh, so needy. Ouch!”

“No rush, Zuko!” Ju Long’s voice was a bit breathless, and the sounds of a tussle in the hall soon followed.

Zuko rolled his eyes and rushed anyway, if only to make Bun Ma stop bullying Ju Long. He flung the door open to Ju Long in a headlock, desperately trying to escape Bun Ma’s knuckles digging into the top of his head. 

“For Agni’s sake, Bun Ma, let him go.”

She released him, only to turn to Zuko with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Oh no, absolutely not. Zuko didn’t give her a chance to pounce. He ran down the hall and leaped down the stairs three at a time. Bun Ma’s cackling protests echoed behind him. 

The route down to the mess passed the main exit to the deck. As Zuko entered the hall to the deck, he skidded to a stop at the sight of Seaman Shen, who jumped and yelped at Zuko bursting down of the staircase.

“Where’s Bun Ma and Ju Long?” Seaman Shen asked with wide eyes, suspiciously moving to block the door to the deck.

 Zuko narrowed his eyes. “Right behind me. Why?”

“Ummmm.”

“What are you hiding, Seaman Shen?” Zuko asked, taking a step toward him.

“Nothing!” he yelped, spreading his arms out to outright block the door.

Yeah, Zuko wasn’t buying it. He crossed his arms and glared Seaman Shen down. It wasn’t until Bun Ma and Ju Long came up behind Zuko that he caved and stepped aside. Bun Ma gave him a thumbs up.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Zuko demanded.

Bun Ma grinned. “Well, why don’t you go find out for yourself?”

If it weren’t for Ju Long poorly concealing his excitement, Zuko absolutely would not have opened the door. He did not trust Bun Ma on a good day, let alone Bun Ma and Seaman Shen scheming together. But if Ju Long wasn’t trying to intervene, they probably weren’t playing a prank on him. 

With an annoyed sigh, Zuko opened the door to the deck. “This better not be a waste of my-”

“Surprise!”

Zuko froze, one hand still on the door handle. The entire crew was gathered on deck. Even Uncle was here. Lanterns were set up along the railings and makeshift tables were erected, covered in food and drink. There was an obvious attempt of decoration with a dragon motif. 

“What?” Zuko said blankly.

Bun Ma snorted and led him out onto deck, slinging an arm over his shoulders. “It’s a surprise party, Princey.”

“I can see that. What for?”

Ju Long laughed quietly at his other side. “To welcome you back. And a belated birthday party as well. Happy 14th birthday, Zuko.”

“Oh.”

He… never expected they would do something like this. His chest felt tight and his eyes suddenly felt misty. 

“Aww, are you so touched that you’re going to cr-”

Zuko elbowed Bun Ma hard enough to make her wheeze and double over. He was not about to cry! He plastered on a smile and addressed the crew, “Thank you everyone. You really didn’t have to.”

Major Hifumi snorted at Bun Ma’s dramatics, since she collapsed to the floor and was groaning as if he’d grievously injured her, then shook her head. “We didn’t have to, but we wanted to. Welcome back, and happy birthday, Prince Zuko. Come get some food; you haven’t eaten anything all day.”

Stepping over Bun Ma, Ju Long led Zuko to the food table. Frighteningly, his smile held a hint of mischief as he whispered, “There’s one more surprise. But you’ll get that after dinner.”

Another surprise?! Zuko tried to wheedle out of him what it was, but for once Ju Long was unwavering and deftly avoided Zuko’s questions. Soon others were crowding Zuko, trying to talk with him, so there was no chance to follow up on the other surprise.

He didn’t realize it, but Zuko’s smile didn’t leave his face for the rest of the night.

[astrxealis]

the way i'm so unproductive regarding school on weekends but so productive on monday immediately ..... i should learn to adhere to this more

[yujeong]

Sammon watched the pool scene of kpts episode 14, found it amazing and said "I want to write that in a show, too." Unfortunately, she never got to watch the post-credit hospital scene.

[blizzardmuses]

thedemonconstantine​:

“…Christ, Die,” The more Dinah spoke the more horrified John was, though he showed little surprise as to the reality of Life. He looked at her when she came in close, held out his arms to take her in them too.

“I reek,” He protested weakly, laughingly, yet made no attempt to push her away. John held her tight as well, he held her with all his might and hid his face in her hair and nodded wordlessly at her affirmation.

Yes. They’d take care of each other.

“Yeh gots bloody bad taste in men,” John teased as he held onto her arms, his voice a mere husk of a whisper as if they were sharing a little secret.

“Gud fing I’m still a boy now innit? Heh-” Maybe his cheeky face would cheer her up, maybe his second hug would ease a bit of the pain they shared. Maybe they’d just stink up the diner with their sweat. John gave Dinah a playful swat with his towel.

“Me eggies are gittin’ collldddd-” Whine whine, though he didn’t mind it one bit, he was just being rowdy to be a little pest and perhaps get a reaction from Dinah. She looked so despondent.

“T’day was amazin’, guv. I ‘ad a ball o’ a time,” Shit, yet another villain on the loose doing gods know what out there. John had to swallow a sigh, squeezing her hand right back.

“I’ll do wohe’er I kin, lend a ‘and, I dunno. Be a lookout, wohe’er yeh need. Yeh dere fer me, least I kin do’s offer yeh woh I ‘ave…e’en if it means forsakin’ dis scrummy plate o’ steak ‘n eggs ‘ta go give tha’ wanker a piece o’ yeh mind,” He used his head to gesture towards the tv mounted on the wall.

“I swear all dis city really needs is a competent architect,” Snigger, holes everywhere in the asylum, right?

“Why are all th’ loonies villains anyways, or is it th’ ova way round? Is nobody sane ‘ere?”

Must be the water!

“Anyways, fanks fer…tellin’ me. I err…’preciates it,” He wouldn’t pity her, he wouldn’t judge, but he’d find a kindred spirit in her, and maybe just maybe they could be damaged with baggage but together, and that was alright.

There was no good in dwelling in sorrow and melancholy there was plenty of good in getting a sweaty hug on the other hand, tough people could not be kept down and what was all of this pain good for if it didn’t make them both a little bit more caring on the other side for another’s pain. 

“Yeah well once a street rat always a street rat” That was all she would say to his comment of stinking, she smelled worse, she had smelled worse herself.

“What I want from you is to stay clean and live a good life. Leave the vigilanteism to those that can handle it. I mean it John you have to keep yourself clean-one way or another. But you don’t have to do it alone, I’ll support you the best I can” she held his face in her hands to take a good look at him, at the youth in those features, in the broken youth in his eyes.  “And if you touch my bike again I will gut you like a fish.” Life might be tough but Dinah Lance was tougher and she wasn’t the kind of woman to dwell in misery not when you could be happy out of sheer spite instead. 

“Eat up and stop whining about it then” She’d eat too watching the news. 

“Lack of mental health funding. Lack of any funding really” Ain’t that the truth. 

“Can you turn that up please?” she asked the diner staff that obliged, not like there were too many people that’d complain over five minutes of louder TV broadcast. 

“I kinda like Gotham though. It’s a shithole but it’s my shithole” A mere nod to the waitress was enough to have the TV back to normal volume. 

“You can paint the garden fence if you’re adamant on being useful. Something nice not plain white but don’t go crazy either. Leopard print doesn’t go with my decor-” She ate fast and downed her coffee even faster. 

“Come on, you need to get showered. We’ll pop down the Y and see if we can find you some spare clothes on the way home” 

[elfy-art]

i want the parts of your hand-grenade heart that beat slowly with anger and fear

[theladygazingatemptiness]

hm. so looks like my love for making art is just gone forever huh

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I don't want to go to bed without trying to rip a Dr.Strangeglove model from the game first even if it seems like I will be running into some complications and possibly deadends but I fear I can feel some sleepiness creeping up on me, espeically after I had to get pulled away from intensely staring at my computer and lost some of my momentum. And I also worry that getting home tomorrow from workI won't have the same amount of energy for continuing this.I mean I still have some time left before I would like to go to bed but... i am getting closer to walking a fine line....

[schoenht]

whaddafuq who let the links connect to actual google chrome who is the idiot that updated tumblr for that <- procrastinator.

[acaciapines]

i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.

[ifthearmorfits]

Since I write Minimus having OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder), I've done a ton of research into the subject but I'm no means an expert on it, which is why I'm always making sure that my research is true and sound for the most part. I've come across numerous videos explaining the disorder, but I think this one really does a really good job at explaining the condition, so give it a watch if you want to learn more!

Here's another video by the same creator that touches on the topic some more, some really informative stuff.

[neverendingford]

.

[autism-corner]

=3=