#good food for thought here

[hillbillyoracle]

For the longest time I’ve been thinking these thoughts as well that I don’t think the Ace label fits me completely. It’s not completely wrong but it’s not the whole picture. Before I came to this same understanding I made the decision to not have children or get married. Now that I’m coming to terms with the fact that I actually have low energy I’m still not sure how life will look. I was starting to think that I was non commital and that my ideal relationship would just be a long term partner. I don’t think I have the energy for « society’s relationship expectations » and I don’t feel like bothering other people because I already know they don’t want to deal with me. What are some of your long term relationships tips? It’s either that or I stay single forever which is an idea that’s I’ve always considered as an option. One of the things with being Ace is that when you don’t just follow the script that’s when your the villain. Any other time our sexuality is convient for the system so it’s fine but the minute it starts disrupting their program suddenly what was once admirable is now disdained. Can we briefly mention what sexual power looks like when your this sexuality. I’m super self conscious about how I dress because I know I can’t event express my sexuality the way I want to because people might get the wrong impression. I’m not looking for anything I’m expressing myself because with the little energy I have left I use for creativity. I don’t have a problem with people doing things to signal sexual willingness my problem is the violence in our society when someone finds you hot and you don’t want to « put out » That’s not even getting into the mind games that the genders are playing with each other just the idea of it makes me not want to date. I’m tired just thinking about it. I’m really starting to imagine my life as the village witch living in the forest far from the villagers.

I also don't know that Ace/Aro really fits me but whatever I'm experiencing is at least Ace/Aro adjacent because there's a major overlap in experiences - getting frustrated with compulsory sexuality/romance, chaffing against society being organized around romantic and sexual coupling, simply not having impulses that my friends and family do. I made the decision very young that I didn't want to get married. I wanted to care for children but I didn't necessarily want to physically have any. So I knew from a pretty young age I was going a different route - in those ways I really relate to a lot of aceness.

However, I'm hearing from so many people that dating has become exhausting. And it's substantially more of a sentiment than it was say 10 years ago. Research backs this up - fewer people are dating and having sex. The younger you are, the more pronounced this is. So clearly there's also been a cultural shift in and around dating that's made it unsustainable for a lot of people as well. I'm sure that's also shaping my desire too.

So it's difficult to parse for me.

I think I have very little in the way of advice for long term relationships for a few reasons.

One, while I've been with my partner for seven years, it's been a tumultuous relationship. She was originally diagnosed with BPD and more recently was diagnosed with NPD. While I care about her a whole lot, she's not exactly emotionally available and it's taken years of painstaking effort on my part to establish norms and guide us toward a point of relative stability in our home life. Even if therapy and treatment eventually lead to her being more available, the likelihood of other aspects of a typical relationship (sexual desire, level of romantic reciprocity, etc) lining up seem low.

"Then leave!" I always hear.

No. Because on some level this works. We both are polyam/relationship anarchists who value our friendships very highly and build parts of our lives around them. We have similar preferences in how home and finances should be maintained. She has few preferences in areas I have many and vice versa. She's very good at things I suck at (bureaucracy, paying bills, speaking with officials, etc) and I'm good at things she sucks at (meal planning, ordering and organizing inventory, maintaining a social calendar, etc). While she's far from perfect, she's the most functional and helpful roommate I've ever had. I simply cannot afford to live on my own and neither could she.

So I feel like I have little to offer in the way of long term relationship advice other than don't be afraid to establish relationship norms that aren't common in other relationships. If the other person is on board, you're not harming any one. I know of no one who's been living with someone for 5+ years who has stuck 100% to the classic romantic formula for success.

My parents have been together for 30+ years and have always maintained a high degree of autonomy and alone time - even with my mom's stroke leaving her paralyzed on her right side several years ago. I have a friend who's lived separately in the same town from her long term partner of multiple years and they're both quite happy with that arrangement. I think often of the research lead I worked under who lived in a completely different city than her husband for 10+ years. They visited each other's spaces most weekends but not all.

A lot of things people swear are innately part of a relationship are really optional. The base model is respect and mutual appreciation, everything else is an upsell. Take it or leave it.

Per dressing to express - I think miscommunication is just always going to happen. People act according to their lenses and there's no way to completely circumvent that. And yeah, they're hellishly rude and can even be dangerous about that but there's no way to be totally free of it since it's so far outside of ones own control.

I have found no way to accurately communicate my sexuality/preferences through my appearance with any reliability. My classic example of this for me is that it seems like no matter how I dress, people on dating apps assume I'm a top/dom/pleasure centered. Even when I included a picture of me in self bondage and explicitly listed my preferences on one more open minded app - only seemed to get interest from bottoms/subs/pleasure centered folks. Many of whom didn't bother to ask they were so certain - just based on my look. I've just come away from those experiences pretty convinced that people see what they want to see regardless of how hard you try to communicate yourself.

So fuck em. As frustrating as it all is there's really only one path I've found - do what you want (as long as you're not hurting anyone.)

Cause like what the fuck else is there to do?

[ninjnerd-anaklusmos]

Lore challenge ❤️

Outside of the demons of Sin, I say there are three other types (Emotion, Morality, and Time) that represent the three largest desires of humans.

What's your take on demon types?

I think the main sins, plus time and a handful of others are the main ones.

But there are thousands of sub-sins, like lethargy would be a sub-sin of sloth, that kind of thing.

I feel like the possibilities are endless!!!

[ceasarslegion]

Listen, i want everything to be as least wasteful as possible. I want everything to be ethically sourced as possible. I appreciate the want and drive to achieve that goal. But there is a certain point where, if these are the tags im seeing on my dashboard attached to a chocolate guy video:

You may need to lighten the fuck up

[mishidefresa]

Some good omens doodles

[pngblog]

[softpine]

she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩

[little-pup-pip]

Happy New Year!!

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Love how we can all agree that, while never explicitly talked about, it’s awful suspicious that the two bats Talia had heavy influence over both tried to kill Tim.

[arctixout]

body jewelry

[chimerafeathers]

there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front

how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes

all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).

it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?

why can't laios take things seriously for once?

[ferahntics]

Giratina rant

So replaying Platinum and I picked up Legends: Arceus again, and I am in the mood to blabble about Giratina for a bit.

Spoiler warning for those who haven’t played Legends: Arceus - highly recommend it if you want more insight into Sinnoh’s lore. (I’d suggest playing DPPt first to get a feel for Gen 4, Arceus is much more enjoyable if you can pick up on the references!) Or just - spoilers for gen 4 all around, the movies, the games, you name it KJSHG

And this got dangerously long, and will most likely not make any sense skjgh get your tinfoil hats on.

So, the biggest thing about it, is that it was banished for its violence, right. So, it outright states it’s got a very destructive nature. I mean, in PLA it flat-out tore a rift in space-time to strike down Arceus, making some form of pact with Volo during the process, and it didn’t hold back in its fight against the player, either. It being violent is not a secret.

But then I think of the events of Platinum - when it interfered with Cyrus, and more specifically Cynthia’s text in Masters - where she believes Giratina to be a kind soul. Not to mention Laventon’s theory after you catch Giratina, where he states it was no match for the player - and chose to defend the world afterwards, rather than continue to destroy it.

And that makes me think - why would a creature that people see it as the definition of darkness and malice - do acts that are the opposite? Quite a few of these are in the Pokemon movies where it appears - when it helped Ash battle Zero, and help him escape the Reverse World. Or earlier in the movie, where it allowed Pikachu to sit on its horns (crown??) and even Shaymin, who was mortally scared of Giratina, grew fond of it. Not to mention it was surrounded by many Pokemon during the movie - this makes me think that, not only did they know how important Giratina’s duty is in the other world, but they feel okay enough to approach the bloody thing. If this legendary creature really was as violent as researchers describe it - or myths - then I doubt those Pokemon would be willing to step close at all.

Now, does this exactly redeem any past violent actions? Honestly I’d argue no, the damage was done - time doesn’t heal everything, and I imagine after the stories of Giratina being passed down for generations, Giratina might as well be a symbol of destruction, and few people might be willing to see its good sides. (Its certainly got the right appearance of a demon alright, the Asmodeus of Pokemon LOL)

I think its more a case of. Its heart is in the right place, but the way Giratina goes about it is where it gets conflicting. So, I imagine, in general its got a dangerously short fuse - that much was established in the dex entries. But I kind of imagine it to have a very black and white way of thinking. So, instead of seeing things that have both good and bad things - it views them as ‘you’re not a threat’ or ‘you are a minimal threat - but still a threat, and I’m not taking any chances with you’ and more often than not resorts to violent actions.

Heck, in the Sky Warrior movie, Giratina was pretty aggressive with Shaymin, even though it meant no harm and just wanted to break Dialga’s timeloop - it certainly went about it the violent way and tried to trigger it through fear.

You could argue Cyrus’ fate was a merciful one. Forever trapped in a universe with no other living being aside from him and its deity. No real sound, no sunlight, no... nothing. Like being trapped in a completely hollow terrain. His life was spared, but then the idea of being stuck in a completely different world that’s so huge, yet to hollow, is haunting to think about.

Would I call Giratina evil - definitely not. Its not a pure creature either, not by a long-shot. Its very heavily flawed and chaos follows it everywhere, it might as well be the embodiment of it. But after the events of PLA, we see it show many generous acts - if we take the movie (Giratina and the Sky Warrior) - it was very violent starting off, but after Shaymin healed it, and Ash fought alongside it - it stuck with it. It doesn’t forget kind actions. And it remembered that in the Arceus and the Jewel of Life movie, where it finally dropped its grudge with Dialga.

I think its a deity with a very rigid line of thinking, either you’re a threat or you’re not. It’s fully capable of forgiving (Dialga and Palkia after the Rise of Darkrai movie) even when it was hell-bent on fighting them, Dialga especially.

This entire post is me really stretching things like this is Mr Fantastic from the fantastic four, but - listen. I like to imagine Giratina to be a very complicated deity to understand. I don’t think it’s the pure manifestation of evil with no redeeming qualities, but I don’t think it’s a flawless, pure being either. It’s in that chaotic center - so really - I think Giratina, after PLA, does have good intentions, and does want to defend the world - but the way it goes about it is morally questionable, because, as we all know, it is violent by nature.

Now, put on a second tinfoil hat on top of the first one.

And that is what most likely earned its banishment - and that’s what might have caused it to become increasingly violent. Anger is an emotion that often comes out to defend you when you feel like you’re faced with injustice and don’t deserve this. Whatever it was, Giratina might’ve thought the destruction it caused at some point was justified or the lesser evil, done for the greater good.

Arceus didn’t see the devastation as justified at all, and thus banished one of the members of the creation trio. And Giratina became furious - because it thought it did good - it went to drastic lengths to do good. And is now being punished for what it thought was an act of sacrifice to protect the world. (what exactly this ‘destruction event’ was, idk, but if it deserves banishment it had to be nasty - you have pokemon that dissolve others with acid and drink their juices or kidnap children and those weren’t banished JKSHGD) 

So this form of ‘injustice’ from Giratina’s POV, might’ve caused it to become vengeful, and increasingly more violent - and this might’ve been what led to its pact with Volo to destroy Arceus, and cause the events of PLA. Giratina, at the time, didn’t think it deserved this punishment. Perhaps only after the player in PLA defeated it, both at the Temple of Sinnoh and in Turnback Cave - it might’ve started considering that perhaps - perhaps - it was a suitable punishment after all.

And perhaps, after... maybe decades - centuries, even - of fury, grief, hatred and isolation, it did in fact, earn the title of ‘renegade’ and it was better off in its own universe - only allowed to interact with the real world under very specific circumstances. (Mostly when some form of ‘glitch’ happens between dimensions, either because of Cyrus, or Volo).

It’s a very chaotic being, both in terms of its actions and in terms of understanding it, and Giratina is aware of it - and I imagine it often struggles to understand itself.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im devastated. i got a microwaveable curry from costco and. its not good. Why

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Would've posted the last update yesterday but I basically collapsed into bed the moment I got home, so y'all can have it now lmao. I managed to hold it together until around 9pm, at which point I'd been working for over 12 hours at that point, so I think I did pretty good. Supervisor hit us on the radio to tell us it looked like we wouldn't be done til past midnight, and we were supposed to be out of there by 10pm, so that was the last straw for me bc I just wanted to go home and I mumbled something about going to the bathroom so I could cry for a minute. Came back, apparently that was also the last straw for my partner who evidently knew literally the entire time bc dude fucking goes "so do you wanna talk or are we just gonna keep pretending you haven't been feeling like shit all day", I tried to downplay it, it didn't work obviously, he looked at me like 😒, you hate to see it. He wanted to make sure I wasn't actually gonna become a patient so he did a quick assessment, my vitals were ✨ abnormal ✨ which was fun. We didn't have to do much else work related the rest of the shift so it was nice to just vibe for a bit. Finally got to leave, partner didn't trust me to drive myself home that late while I was still running a fever so he drove me home, we got food on the way back, I showered, then immediately went to sleep after crying a little but bc everything hurt so bad lmao

[thepersonalwords]

You left yesterday hoping to see tomorrow and you shall surely see today so far us you have life. Mind and man what is in today and make today the solid foundation for tomorrow. Focus on what tomorrow brings and let yesterday be yesterday. If there are lessons to learn from yesterday, don’t neglect them and don’t be crippled by the negativity of yesterday; only use them as the best panacea and antidote to the ‘had I knows’ of tomorrow you are yet to meet!

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

[savage-rhi]

*insert pink color here*

[hikayunas]

monzenbashi's leader might, obviously, be a bat -- but ranka works really well as one, too. specifically, as a vampire bat (D. rotundus -- which, by the way, very great scientific name)

a large part of why ranka stayed so rooted in monzenbashi and underneath the bat is because she felt she had to -- was too weak to go out and fend for herself. she had to rely on another, stronger, more capable bat to keep her alive, because she had no other choice; god knows what would've happened to her if she didn't.

vampire bats do a very dangerous dance with death each night. they've got to eat practically every single evening, or else they just drop dead. and if they're incapable of going out for food themselves, for whatever reason, they've got to beg other, more capable bats, who could go out and find food, to feed them as well and keep them alive. because if they don't, even just one skipped blood meal will mean death. all because they were too weak to be able to go out and do things on their own.

with all of the metaphors of grief seeds as 'food' in futatsugi, it really just makes this all click together more. it's one hell of a coincidence, if it wasn't intentional 🦇