#granted none of them grooved out at all really. but in a better world. in my beautful mind. they couldve

[braintapes]

narratively i know why larry couldnt be a part of the dr jonathan tyme time capsule excursion but it still does make me so infinitely sad that i didnt get to see him groovin out at a time-trap roller disco with his friends

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Kuzco Propaganda:

The movie starts with them doing the voiceover, telling us how he'll show us that evil people ruined his life for no reason at all, before proceeding to show him fire a loyal advisor, announce to a guy he'll chase him and his whole village away from the homes they've been living in for generations, just to build a summer villa with pool for himself, have a guy thrown off a window for being on his way when he was freedancing, etc., etc. Then as his life is ruined and we get back to the point at the beginning from which he had started the flash back which took half the movie, he's like "see? for no reason!"

Jeramie Brasirie Propaganda:

The narrator does the episode recaps, and sets the scene about the coming of kings. we assume this is about the protagonists, until Jeramie finally reveals himself and goes yes i wrote the story, this was about me teehee <3 this is MY story jokes on you. granted this is only like episode 11. someone else could describe this better than me for sure.

HE TELLS THE OTHER KINGS TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES. ABOUT A BLANK PAGE. SIR.

He starts the show by saying that this story was about the one who would become king of the world, and considering Gira is our main character we all think it's him until Jeramie's official appearance in episode 11 where he's like "psyche this story was about me this whole time ;)" and he complains when the other characters can't "read between the lines" to find out his backstory when like. My brother in the Shugods there are no lines to read between. You want them to find out that there was a sixth ranger this whole time? Don't blame them for not knowing when you literally left that part of the story blank! You're trying to explain that you had no involvement in the Wrath of the Gods? Then just tell them instead of saying nothing and telling them to infer something from that!!! Anyways I love Jeramie, he's great

Man wants you to read between the lines but is literally so cryptic no one knows what he even means most of the time. And he's like this is the story of these people and then nah it's my story, like he's really just saying stuff.

narrates the intro & ending for every episode, including before he's introduced, & once he IS then he makes very obtuse claims & hints to figuring out the stories he tells that none of the other characters can figure out or could ever possibly figure out

[soukokuwu]

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

➢ fluff (fyodor x reader)

➢ word count: 1.3k

➢ so i am still working on the requests and couldn’t finish any today blame procrastination so please have my old fyodor fluff. this was originally done for a request but i went with “the little things” instead. i’ll try to finish the requests asap 🥺✨

The only exception

His thin, cold fingers brushed against your cheek, awaking you from your slumber. Calmly, you opened your eyes, recognising the lithe form in front of you almost instantly.

There was a time when you would be scared to have seen him in your room, a time where you would cower in fear and beg him not to hurt you. But as time would have it, you began to see the humane side of him, though it was not for lack of trying.

“How are you, lyubov moya?”

“Better now that you’re here, Fyo.”

════════════════════════

Once upon a time you had been his hostage in a scheme to oust your boss from power. According to Fyodor, your old boss took something that was not his, and he was just simply claiming it back. You had just been an unfortunate little thing who got chosen to be a pawn.

Or so you thought.

It turned out to be anything but ‘unfortunate’. While you had been locked up in your own office, hands and ankles cuffed, stuck with this extremely arrogant man, you watched as he inspected your belongings with curiosity. He had chosen to gloss past everything else, but your journal had him affixed. As he read on, it gave him even more insight to the inner workings of your mind.

And it intrigued him.

The first thing he remembered thinking when he first read your entries was why a pure, kind soul such as yours was working for someone who needed to be purged for all his misdeeds. It was weird, because he had never been one to make exceptions, but at that moment he thought, maybe just that once, for one person, it could be done.

For all his bravado, he had let slip a little of his humanity. And you were the only one to see that. He had removed your restraints, perfectly aware that he didn’t need them anyway. But to you, it was an act of kindness, of a little faith. You were a hostage, after all. By how he spoke to you, he had considered himself a god, and talked about how the world should be rid of all sins. You had never once heard of anyone who had the courage to call himself a ‘god’, much less actually do something with it. He didn’t divulge much on his ability, but you understood that it was one to be feared.

However, the fear you held for him slowly turned into admiration as he talked about how he dreamt the world should be. He had not harmed you, or tried to intimidate you at all. You almost felt comfortable being there, even as a pawn. It was weird, but you wished that it could stay like that. But of course that wasn’t possible.

After the whole ordeal, he released you. You were seemingly unaffected by it, to everyone’s surprise. An empty feeling washed over you at the thought that you might not see that interesting man ever again. But it proved redundant, because Fyodor had taken an interest in you. And what he wanted, he would get. And he wanted to know you.

Fyodor had collected information on everyone in the company beforehand, so he knew almost everything about you; where you lived, who you lived with, where you were born, your birthday, and so forth. He found he liked visiting you after missions were over. At first he didn’t let you know he was watching you, he just stood from afar, but then he couldn’t help himself, and let himself into your room through the window.

Any normal human would be afraid, but he already knew you were an anomaly.

════════════════════════

Tonight was no different, and he smiled at your reply. You always knew the sweetest things to say. His bony fingers found their way to your lips, his thumb tracing them, as if to remember every groove.

Your heart was beating rapidly as your eyes were glued to his. He had visited you several times before, but never had he actually touched you like this. If this was the case, you couldn’t keep hiding how you felt. It was probably shown on your face, by the blush on your cheeks. Fyodor noticed, of course, being the ever observant person that he is.

As you slowly sat up on the bed, you placed your hands on his, leaning into his touch. “Fyo, would you grant me a favour?”

Fyodor smirked, already knowing what you were going to say, but he feigned cluelessness anyway. “What is it, milaya?”

“Kiss me.”

Whereas everyone else could only dream of demanding something from him, here you were, a mere ordinary being, actually asking him for a favour. He was aware that he had been changing his behaviour, only in regards to you, but still a change nonetheless. Where he would usually berate people for daring to ask anything of him, he found himself wanting to comply with your wishes. Your pleading tone only made him more inclined to give it to you.

Is this what he was about to do – make an exception?

He leaned down, paying attention to your every movement, no matter how small. He noticed the small bumps forming on your arms just from his mere proximity to you. As his forehead touched yours, your eyes shifted its focus to his lips, your breathing getting shallow.

Fyodor’s lips hovered over yours, enjoying very much the effect he has over you. He reveled in it a little, before giving you what you so desperately wanted. His lips pressed against yours, his tongue prying your lips open. Your soft moan as he did so spurred him on even more as his tongue delved in and swirled across your mouth. You tasted sweet, and you felt warm. A far cry from the bitter and cold that Fyodor was well acquainted with.

When the two of you finally pulled away, Fyodor took a seat next to you on the bed, letting you lean your head against him. “Do you... still get nightmares?”

You buried your head in his neck, not at all surprised that he knew. You nodded. As much as you didn’t want to risk worrying him, you knew he could tell if you were lying. His questions, most times, were just rhetorical. He already knew the answers. And you were right. Fyodor knew you started getting nightmares after the day he held you hostage. A part of him, no matter how small, still felt the guilt. If he hadn’t chosen you of all people, you wouldn’t have had to wake up with cold sweats in the middle of the night.

“I keep dreaming of the same thing,” you mumbled, voice laced with worry.

Don’t worry, milaya, I won’t let anyone kidnap you, or hurt you, if they aren’t me, he thought to himself, his hand patting your head. But the next words that came out of her mouth proved him wrong.

“I keep dreaming that one day you won’t appear before me anymore.”

His eyes widened. That’s what you had been having nightmares about? Not about what happened but about the possibility of him disappearing?

What is this feeling...

“Would you like me to stay tonight?”

You lifted your head up in surprise. Your eyes searched his for any sort of deception, but you saw none. “Really?”

And for the first time ever, Fyodor flashed you such a soft smile you thought you were dreaming. He nodded, leaning back against the headboard, and enveloping you in an embrace, coaxing you to sleep.

“I’ll be here even when you wake.”

And for the first time, you couldn’t wait for the morning after.

tag: @yokelish @glitchnovax

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: the last plump dumpling on the plate that you and your friend fight over, the betrayal you feel when you drink a milkshake that’s too cold and get a brain freeze but it’s too good to stop, and the buzzing of a bumble bee flitting from flower to flower. With a slight resemblance to LEE JOOHEON  (JOOHONEY) of/the MONSTA X.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Kkul Beol (actually his full name. He doesn’t have a surname) ALIAS: Yellowjacket Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Divine Realm Age: Unknown, but has lived 26 years in Earth realm Date of Birth: May 20th (aka World Bee Day) Gender: Male Preferred Pronouns: he/him or they/them Species: Spiritual Fairy Occupation: The Howlers, Dealer Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Milky, pale Eye color: Varies Scars: None Piercings: Ears, Dimple piercings Tattoos:When he doesn’t have his wings out, they manifest as bold linework that follows along his shoulder blades and down his back. He has a colorful fairy pinup girl on his right inner forearm. A bumble bee design on his left upper arm that blends into a fairy circle tattoo on that inner forearm. Various weeds and flowers on his legs. Hair color: Varies Abnormalities: Since Beol can reinvent his physical form to his liking, his features may change on a whim. However, he does tend to stick to the same form, with only his hair and eye color varying. Transformed form:As a spiritual fairy, Beol’s physical form is only a formality that allows him to better experience the world. His spiritual presence is formless and genderless. It is almost like looking at dust when it catches the light.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  N/A SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: Korean, English, Gaelic SECRETS: Beol manages to get out of being prosecuted for his crimes by charming the officers who try to arrest him with his fairy dust or using illusions to escape. SAVVIES: drawing, getting tattooed, playing pranks. Powers & Abilities: fairy dust manipulation, healing, wish granting (but it usually has a hidden caveat), semi-immortality, empathy, energy manipulation and absorption, energy barriers, energy blasts, malleable anatomy/shapeshifting, spirit physiology, illusions, intangibility, possession, telekinesis (via fairy dust manipulation), teleportation.  Traits: (positive) chipper, animated, fun-loving and playful. (negative) fickle, impatient, gets petulant when things don’t go his way, doesn’t realize his pranks can be harmful or perhaps he feigns ignorance. Aesthetics: the last plump dumpling on the plate that you and your friend fight over, the betrayal you feel when you drink a milkshake that’s too cold and get a brain freeze but it’s too good to stop, and the buzzing of a bumble bee flitting from flower to flower.

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: May 20th, year unknown Date of Death: N/A Crime Record: Beol knows that he should avoid getting entangled with the authorities at all costs, but his innately mischievous nature contradicts rationality. He rather enjoys skating on thin ice when it comes to getting caught. When he was a “teen,” he often got in trouble for truancy, vandalism, and theft. Now, as an “adult,” he has to be far more conscious about getting caught. He has been charged with possession and possession with the intent to distribute, but - miraculously - has not served any jail time.

Background/Biography:

In a time long ago, Celts used to believe that when a person slept or entered a hypnotic state that their soul left the body in the form of a bee. Sometimes those souls got lost on the way back (or perhaps were detained) and found their way to the divine realm of the fae, where they would become what is known as spiritual fairies. Or at least that was the story Beol’s mother told them, but the reality was that there was no living fae who remembered exactly where they originated. Their mother would affectionately call them their ‘wandering little bee’ because Beol was an adventurous child who could never be tied down in one place. It came as no surprise to them when Beol decided to leave the realm they’d always known and venture out into the human world.

When Beol crossed over to the mortal plane, they embraced the incredibly different way of life with childish wonder and enthusiasm. At first they explored in their spiritual form and enjoyed playing all sorts of pranks on unsuspecting humans, but - as is typical of the fickle nature of fairies - that grew boring quickly. Beol eventually constructed a physical form so they could better interact with others around them. Being a young and playful soul, Beol chose the façade of a school-aged child since their fun-loving antics were very similar to his own. What he didn’t take into account, though, was that a parentless, vagrant child stood out and it wasn’t long before his friend’s parents became concerned for his well-being.

In his naivety, Beol didn’t think much of it when they’d asked where he lived and who looked after him, telling them that he took care of himself and stayed wherever he wanted. That naturally led to the police being contacted and Beol was placed in an orphanage until they could find a family for him. Truthfully, he could have simply flitted off and ventured someplace new, but the idea of living with other kids sounded like an eternal sleepover to him and how could that be bad? Of course, it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies in the system. Many of the orphans came from broken homes and were passed around to fosters that were no better. They’d come back with new scars and bereft of their smiles, their innocence gobbled up by the darkness within others.

Beol couldn’t stand seeing them hurt. He could vividly imagine how they’d gotten each bruise like he’d experienced it himself and felt their anguish like a bottomless pit in the center of his chest. Yet he wasn’t powerless to fight against it like they were and Beol quickly went from using his abilities for harmless fun to avenging his friends. He would go out of his way to be assigned to their previous foster parents and would make sure to traumatize them so much with his illusion magicks that they never dared to take in another child again. While it did make him feel better, his habit of terrorizing parents tarnished his record and made him increasingly difficult to adopt out. Not that that bothered Beol. Sure, it was hard watching his friends eventually leave to go with loving parents, but protecting those that remained had become his responsibility and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that if he left. Besides, he had parents and didn’t need new ones, even if his counselors never believed him when he told them.

As he “aged” into teenage years, Beol’s outer image evolved to suit his interests and style. He became close with the more rebellious crowd, other lost boys and girls like himself who couldn’t care less about authority or conforming to what society wanted. They spent more time in seedy pc bangs and back alleys sharing a pack of smokes than they did in school or hoping for families that would never accept them. It was around this time that he actually came out about what he really was and where he’d come from, though that identity seemed like a far off memory now. He was no longer a shade wearing the suit of a man and could freely embrace his quirkier side without worrying about anyone disapproving.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

This charade always amused Beol. Every time he found himself in this position, with an officer staring him down on the other side of the table in the cramped interrogation room, he wondered why their initial play was to put on this veil of ignorance. As if they didn’t already know what he did or have evidence against him. Did it actually work on suspects? He assumed that most people dug themselves into a hole trying to weave a pitiful fallacy with the same gusto as a scared child blaming the broken vase on the cat in the hopes that it would exonerate them. Beol, on the other hand, was a sophisticated liar and not burdened with the pressing need to evade something. He could phase out of the room right before their very eyes, after all. So the only reason he had to deceive them was simply because it was fun.

“Well, I can’t just start with last night, officer. That’s not how good storytelling works.” He countered coyly and rocked the chair back onto the two rear legs so he could kick his clunky boots up onto the table. Dirt and grime broke loose from the deep grooves in the sole and fell onto the open file set out before the policeman who was trying his best to see unperturbed, but Beol relished in the neigh imperceptible way his jawline tensed in annoyance. “It all began when my parents died in a tragic car accident and I was adopted by my rotten aunt and uncle. You know, they always told me my father was a drunk and that the apple wouldn’t fall far from the tree. So at least I’m exceeding someone’s expectations. Anyway, this one day, we went to the zoo for my cousin’s birthday and there was this enormous python-”

[springsteenicious]

Hyde proposes to Jackie or Jackie proposes to Hyde (do the one you think looks more interesting)

(A/N: I have never seen anything where Jackie proposes to Hyde, so I’m gonna try that out! Also this turned out longer than I intended.)

It was clear to Jackie that Steven would not propose to her. He’d told her he wanted a future with her, that he was going to be with her for as long as she wanted, but he hadn’t proposed. 

At first she thought, maybe he’s waiting until my dad gets out of prison to ask for his blessing. 

Then he had expressed how he though getting the father’s blessing before proposing was an overly traditional and outdated concept. 

Then she thought, maybe he doesn’t have enough money for a ring. 

That was possible, but Jackie knew he had plenty of money from his manager’s position at Grooves. No, money wasn’t an issue. 

Why wouldn’t he propose to her? He’d already told her he wanted to be with her practically forever, so what was stopping him? 

Then Jackie figured it out. 

She had wanted to marry Michael years ago, even though she didn’t actually love him. Maybe Steven had some insecurities that Jackie wanted to marry him because she wanted to get married, not because she wanted to have a life with him. 

She had always wanted her wedding to be perfect and traditional and beautiful. But with Steven, she realized none of those things mattered. She just wanted him, for as long as possible. 

So, if Steven wouldn’t propose to her, she would just have to propose to him. 

~~~

Hyde sat in the passenger’s seat of Jackie’s white Lincoln. A few days ago, she had told him she was ‘taking him out’ and that he should wear a shirt with buttons. 

Now, she was driving them to the mystery location of their date. Hyde was definitely interested. She’d been fishy about the details of this date since she’d told him about it. But the way she was humming and smiling as she drove seemed to be a good sign. 

Finally she pulled over in the woods. Hyde looked around and realized they were at Inspiration Point, the part of Mount Hump where he’d taken her for their first date on Veteran’s Day. 

“So, you gonna tell me what we’re doing here?” Hyde asked. 

“Not yet!” Jackie pulled out a scarf from the glove compartment. “You can't watch while I set things up.” 

“Oh...kay.” Hyde let her tie the scarf over his eyes, but he felt uneasy about not being able to see. It was late at night. What if something happened to Jackie and he couldn’t help? 

He heard the car door close and the back door open, then close soon after. Something squeaked, then the grass rustled and what sounded like plates clinked together. A moment later, Jackie opened the passenger side door and untied the scarf, granting Hyde his vision again. 

She smiled and led him over to where she had created an amazing picnic spread. One of Hyde’s blankets was spread out on the grass, along with Mrs. Forman’s picnic basket. A bottle of sparkling cider leaned against the basket, near two empty plates that would soon be filled with the cheese, crackers and fruits that Jackie had packed in Tupperwares. 

“Jackie, this is... I thought you hated picnics,” Hyde said, at a loss for words.

“Not really. We did a few while I was in the Girl Scouts. Besides, I thought it would be fun to have a picnic under the stars,” Jackie said. She grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit on the blanket with her. 

They talked as they ate the picnic Jackie had prepared, about Grooves and the colleges Jackie had applied to and everything in between. Every time they had conversations like this, Hyde found himself amazed that he had this kind of connection, and with Jackie, of all people. It wasn’t with just anyone that Hyde could have long, meaningful conversations. 

As they finished up, Hyde said, “Jackie, tonight was awesome. Thanks for planing this.” 

Jackie smiled and said, “The night’s not over yet. I still have to do the big surprise I told you about.” 

“I thought the picnic was the surprise.” 

“It was the first surprise. The second surprise is happening now.” Jackie reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a small black box. She scooted closer to him on the blanket and took one of his hands. 

“Steven, you are the most important thing in the world to me. You make every day better just by being there. I love everything about you. I love your sarcasm, even when it annoys me. I love your passion for music. I love the way you kiss and touch me, and the way you look at me while we make love. I will never stop loving these things about you.” 

Jackie opened the box, revealing an eyeball ring, almost exactly like the one Hyde used to have. He’d lost his a while ago. The only difference between the one he’d lost and this one was the color of the iris. This one was brown instead of blue. 

“Steven Hyde, will you marry me?” Jackie asked. 

Hyde couldn’t help but smile. He couldn’t believe Jackie was proposing to him after all those times she’d bugged him to propose to her. So, he opened his mouth and gave her the only logical answer. 

“Yes.” 

Jackie squealed and tackled him into the grass with the intensity of her hug. Hyde laughed as she repositioned them so that she was straddling his hips. She took the ring out of the box and slid it onto his pinky. 

“I noticed you lost your ring a little while ago, so I got you a new one. But this one is the same color as my eyes, so you can think about my beautiful face all day,” Jackie explained, tossing the now empty box onto the picnic blanket. 

“I love it. And I love you.” Hyde drew her in for a kiss. She met his mouth eagerly, quickly deepening the kiss. Eventually, though, they both smiled into it. 

“You don’t mind not getting an engagement ring?” Hyde asked. 

“No. All I want is to be with you. Having a pretty ring doesn’t matter.” Jackie traced little hearts on his shoulder with her index finger. “I just want us to be happy. Not just me. Not just you. Us.” 

“You are so the chick for me.” Hyde kissed her again. 

He couldn't believe he’d gotten so lucky to have Jackie in his life. The fact that she loved him as much as he loved her, man... that was something he couldn’t get anywhere else. 

[stevenuniversetanzanite]

The Angel Among Us (Cordelia X reader) part 6

Two posted in one day? what? Never heard of her. Its a short one. Like 2000 words. I considered saving this for the next chapter but I can’t  without slipping up that one and I don’t really want to at the moment. Could change later.

Warnings: Murder

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4,  Part 5 , Part 6, Part 7 (will be added when done)

Upon heading upstairs and to the woman’s office, the three had fled. The man got enraged, claiming this was unfair. They're gone! Where would they have gone?

Michael spoke to Mead, who told him to forget about the witches and change plan.

You walked around the room getting a good whiff of the air. Your hand glided across the backing of one of the chairs located in the middle of the room. They heard the gunshots and the screams of their students dying. The two older ones rushed to the doors to lock them. Mallory complained telling her that they needed to save them but Mallory wasn’t ready.

“They teleported out of here.”

“Obviously.” Michael spat. “Where would she go?”

“This was the only place that she had. I can’t predict this.” The man huffed. “Ms Mead as a point,” you looked over at the woman. “Not like it matters but isn’t the world meant to end in flames or something. Are witches really worth your time? End the world before she can end you.” You make your move over to Cordelia’s desk chair. Now that she was gone, you could sit there. You’ve never been compelled to sit there until now. Maybe it was the hyperthecial power of it, it is only hers, the Supreme’s. You ran your finger of the grooves of the armrest. Resembling the woman towards the end of her life cycle, the arms had indents from being dug into. “Life is a game of, I don’t know chess- never played but that’s beside the point. You got all your pieces laid out and you go back an forth knocking each other’s out. Some pieces have a power to end the game if you get rid of them, but you don’t have to. There are other ways to end the game if that’s what your wish.”

“I don’t think you understand chess.”

“And now I hopefully never will.”

“You got aboard this really quickly.”

“You promise answers, something these witches couldn’t.”

To test your newfound loyalty to him, he schemed up something that would kill two birds with one stone. The two of you reached the warlock school in record speed. He refused to explain your purpose for being there until you stood outside the sculpture that hid the entrance of the underground school.

Your task was simple and if you chose to accept it would grant you a spot beside his side in the end times. “Kill them all,” was his instructions. “In the name of my father.”

You smirked, “Why not for us? Doing it for someone else seems better than for selfish reasons and I thought we needed to be as bad as possible.” The boy handed you a dagger. You removed it from it’s sheath and ran your finger along the edge of the blade. “A knife?”

“Make it a pure massacre.”

“A bloodbath,” you said chipperly. “Let’s go, Michael.”

There was no way you could fake this.

“Ladies first,” the boy said using his magic to open the door. You skipped onto the grounds. No one was guarding the entrance allowing the both of you to easily slip in. “I should warn you I’ve never killed before.”

“What about all those women- Oh~ I forgot. You’ll do fine.” What women? You shook your head and removed the knife form its cover. “You don’t need to be clean. The messier the better.”

The two of your stormed the school removing anyone who crossed your paths. At first, you had to hide your pained expressions as you had to stab the students. As time went on, it became second nature. Screams filled the air, students crying out for help. Soon you ditched the knife and used your powers figuring out tricks that Michael did and copying him.

The two of you strutted into the last room. Your joints was loose like a ragdolls. You would have toppled over by now you didn’t force yourself to finish the job.

“Who are-” The staff’s eyes shifted from you to your associate. “Michael.”

“I’ve got to thank the both of you, I wouldn’t have found my kin without the both of you,” Michael said. “I would thank the other two as well but sadly there gone. I guess you’ll have to thank them for us.”

John’s eyes flicker back to you. He analysis your face. It was Behold that said your name first, “Y/n?” it came out more of a question unsure due to you ghastly appearance.

“Bingo.” You cackled yourself to insanity. The man found you to be nothing but nice to him when he had his short stay at the school.

“The She-devil,” the other man muttered out.

“Hey! That’s mean,” you squeaked out getting up close and personal.

“You don’t kill men-”

“-I kill whomever I like.” You stabbed him in the chest. Michael made quick work of the other man.

“I warned Cordelia-” the man crocked out. You got into his face and dug the blade deeper into him.

“She’s dead. All the witches are dead-” you ripped the blade clean out of him. “and so too are you.”

You watched the man’s life fade from his eyes. Michael clapped and congratulating you on passing his test with flying colours. The man worked on his little display piece as you cleaned your blade on your skirt.

You caught a glance of yourself in the mirror, your skin paled revealing noticeable veins in your face. Eyes pitch black, covering the white of the eyes. No wonder they didn’t recognise you. The ‘you’ was gone. The colour came back into your skin and your eyes settled down by the time Michael was done with his inverted pentacle of human corpses.

“We should head home.”

“Home?”

The two of you ended up at mead’s house. The three of you rested at Meads dinner table. In the short time you were there you’d gotten along well with the woman which shocked you since she was a Satanist and that went against everything you had stood for… You guess a lot had changed today. You spent half an hour in her bathroom reliving what you had done. Crying didn’t solve your problems. You didn’t cry because of what you had done, you cried because you enjoyed it. You wanted your old life back and if you had the chance, which you were well aware you didn’t, you would have to burn for your sins. You played your part, slowly loosing yourself in the act.

Mead ended up suggesting going to the men that rebuilt her after all of Michael’s terrible ideas of how to end the world including the plot of omen 3.

 You asked about these men she spoke of, and Michael filled you in about these two coke heads with bad hair that ran a robotics company. You said you wouldn’t mind meeting the men who played god by creating a replication of a life. Worse case, you waste a day. You asked Mead to call them up and telling them you were heading right over. You grabbed Michaels and asked him where it was located. A second later you were outside a tall white building with the company’s logo pasted up the top. “Not bad,” he complemented. You told him you would stay by his side and make sure he didn’t accept any stupid ideas and just introduce her as a business partner or something.

The men hand him a list of names and all of them were members of the Cooperative which was really the Illuminati but with a new name. All members had they've sold their soul to the devil and therefore, Michael controls them. Jeff and Mutt encourage him to use nuclear weapons to end the world, You second the idea. Michael agreed but only if it'll also destroy the witches. Jeff and Mutt reassured him that it will, but he needs to talk to the Cooperative first.

“Will it kill them?” Michael asked you. You had stolen one of the desk chairs and you were now playing with a robot part. You looked at them like they asked you’re the stupidest question on earth.

“They’re human, of course nuclear bombs will kill them.” You wouldn’t allow it; you’ll find them before the bombs go off and save them. Then you can warn them of what’s to come.

The idea for the end of the world was simple, a few hotspots full of people will be saves. The richest of the rich, and some others to help work. But all, the best in their fields. Michael placed you in charge keeping Jeff and Mutt in line as well as overseeing the project. You had managed to gain the antichrists trust by then.

You sat in the corner of their lab reading one of their occupant leaders strange requests. “God this woman is a riot,” you chuckled to yourself.

The clicking of heels signified the entrance of their secretary/Human resources person along with everything else important. For someone who walked with a can, she was quiet with it, her heals made more noise than it did.

You never bothered to turn around and look at her, too busy working to care about the likes of her. Your back was always facing her, so she never got a good look at you either. She gathered you worked there now even though it was never passed through her. One day you didn’t work here and now you did. The men the woman worked for acted like you’ve been there for years, they didn’t even call you by your name anymore but by an assortment of nicknames, none of which you were fond of.

“Thanks Ms Venable. Oh, that minds me, you will receive an email about the purchases for outpost… which one again?”

“3 and 4,” you answered.

“Yes, 3 and 4 by the end of the day, we need to you place the orders today before you leave.”

“Can you also order some cigarettes? I’m out. Order a lot please.”

“Is that all?” The woman was dismissed.

“Wait? Is that Venable?” You spun around to see the woman, but she was already gone. “You gave your secretary a job as outpost leader?”

“That or she would quit.” You nodded before going back to work.

“Hmm~” After sending your email, you decided to go one break. You groaned, your eyes aching from the constant strain they’d been forced to endure. You tossed your glasses of your head and rubbed your eyes furiously. “Stupid piece of shit doesn’t even work,” your eyes were better off without the stupid eyewear. It was probably time for a new pair you thought. You swung your chair around notifying the two you were popping out for a bit. One of them men notified you that a packet of cigarettes had been brought up for you. They tossed it to you as you walked towards the back exit.

When you returned you noticed a change in the air immediately. A presence that didn’t belong here entered when you were gone. Light. “Did you two have client while I was out?”

“No. We did however get four tickets bought for outpost 3.” You hummed, walking up to the board to see who bought it. St. Pierre Vanderbilt. Oh, those witches, they are good.

“All good. This works with my order. Everything’s good.” You were happy at the knowledge that at least one of your students was alive.

[superthiccthighssavelives]

So

I won’t lie to you all, I haven’t been able to write lately, and not because of time or lack of...but because I haven’t felt it, or had any idea how to restart. 

It’s been a weird 2 months since I’ve stopped, but tonight, I hit that mood again. Granted, I didn’t work on Give Me a Try (sorry), but I wanted to write something to get out the bugs and dust off the rust so I wouldn’t screw anything up. I do  not want my stale ass writing a boring or dull chapter to give you after so long. 

So I wrote a super smutty, short little blurb. Just to get back in the groove.  Read if you’d like, if you need a fix lol. I feel better now, and as I was typing this (it took like 4 or 5 hours *eyeroll*) I felt the kinks being worked out and my ability creeping back.

Anyway...here’s a fun little self-given prompt. 

You don’t like Taron’s cooking, you’d much prefer tastier things ;)

Dinner

I can’t wait to get home, I’ve been working so much, it feels like I live there. Always in the studio, sometimes on a live set, it’s practically my life these days. I can’t complain too much, it’s never permanent, but it lasts long enough at times to exhaust me.

The drive is a blur, you know the kind where you zone out and arrive and don’t have a clue how you made it? That’s me today. The shoot is almost over, mostly small reshoots and pick up scenes, so the days are shorter.

My stomach is rumbling, I forgot when I ate last, I think it was a bagel this morning, or was that yesterday? Either way, I needed something in my belly. Taron and I take turns cooking most days, he cooks a lot when I’m on a job, and vice versa.

The smell wafted through the house as I entered the door, I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, he likes to try new and exotic things pretty often. I do consider myself an adventurer, except when it comes to food. Most of the time he just shakes his head and laughs at me, other times he legitimately gets offended. He’s moody as hell sometimes. I’ve learned how to deal with it, I always have my ways of making him feel better.

I hear music playing, the smell getting stronger as I make my way to the kitchen. I sneak up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I swear, it feels like I haven’t seen or touched him in months, just my body against his feels like absolute bliss. “What’s for dinner?” He turns around placing his hands on either side of my face and places a gentle kiss on my lips. “Hello sweetheart, how was your day?” I scrunch my face “I’m just glad to be home, I’m starving, what are we having?” 99% of the time, when he cooks, it’s something I would never think to put together. Or eat. Tonight was no different. I tried to control my face when he listed off the ingredients, none sounded appealing in the slightest. My stomach was betraying me though, and right about now I’d eat almost anything.

“Come taste” He held out a spoon, hand underneath to prevent it from dripping. I stood in place for a moment, almost scared to get closer. I really didn’t want an argument tonight. “Come on then” His eyes watched, waiting for me to move. It wasn’t terrible, but not something I’d voluntarily eat. My face gave way to a sly smile “I know something I’d like to have more” He cocked an eyebrow “Oh?”

I took the spoon from his hand, placing it on the counter behind him. “Mmhmm” My hands slid up the front of his shirt and landed clasped on the back of his neck, my lips following. I inhaled him, the scent of his cologne making me high. I kissed slowly, up his neck, to his earlobe, whispering how much I missed him, down his jaw, my tongue peeking out to trace the sharp lines before finding his lips. I wanted to devour him, breathe him in. His hair was tight in my grasp, pulling him closer, if that were even possible, I needed him like I needed air. I couldn’t breathe fast enough, I want him to take it all from me, just so I could fill him, every part of my love flowing inside him.

My body shivered hearing a gentle moan escape his lips as my hands found their way underneath the white t-shirt separating us. I removed it as fast as I could, so my mouth could taste him. I didn’t want to miss an inch, my fingers and tongue touching every spot in front of me. “Baby” his voice was barely above a whisper, but full of lust. I went for the button on his jeans, popping it open, and practically tearing his zipper off, I needed to feel him, how I made him feel, how much he wanted me. There was too much in between us, too much fabric. I wanted it gone, I wanted to touch every sliver of him.

In an instant the barrier was gone. My fingers grazed the smooth skin of his cock, up and down, teasing him. His breath hitched, his mouth finding mine again to crash into. I squeezed, just a bit, enough to show a hint of what's to come. I shook, feeling his teeth clutch my lip, stinging with a delicious pain. I smiled against him, knowing what we both wanted so badly, and what I was readily willing to give. My knees settled on the cool floor, my hands trailing up his thighs. Our eyes met, fire blazing in his, mine full of desire and hunger.  Every second I wasn’t touching him felt like an eternity. My mouth welled up, anticipating the next few. I wanted to take my time and revel in this moment, but I also wanted to violate him completely with pure pleasure. My impatience won, my mouth taking over before I had a chance to decide. My hand enveloped his erection, my tongue eagerly lapping every millimeter of skin in its wake, circling the tip, and the slight outline around it.

Every sound escaping him was bringing me higher, I soaked up each moan, groan and lustful grunt. I loved every one, I could drown in them. Knowing what I could do gave me the satisfaction and motivation to give more. His hands were frantic, gripping the counter behind him, one falling to wrap my hair into it. He guided me gently, sliding in and out of my mouth with ease. The pace was almost too slow, even though I wanted him to savor it, every second. I craved more of his sweet voice, describing the pleasure coursing through him. I wanted him to lose control, to give in, release it all to me.

It's a strange gratification to know what you’re capable of, and the power you weild with just your tongue. You can get lost in it, and I wanted nothing more right now. I kept a steady rhythm, picking up momentum quickly. I didn’t know how much longer he would last, but I needed every second  to be sheer bliss. I couldn’t control myself much longer either, I was so consumed with giving him nirvana, reaching the peak. There was a prominent ache that wouldn’t go away, that comes every time he’s near. It completely overtakes me, leaving me begging for more.

His words staggered with every slip of my tongue, every inch of him that brushed against my warm swollen lips. I tightened my grip a bit more, feeling his length against the back of my throat, going deeper with every pass. The most euphoric “Fuck” slipped from his mouth, exaggerated and primal. I couldn’t help but moan, loving the feel of his cock slippery and hot, sliding over my lips repeatedly. His stability was fading, his knees beginning to buckle. I knew he was close, but I didn’t want it to end. “Mmm baby, you taste so good” I caught his eyes, full of ecstasy and salacity, looking down at me. I held his gaze while he slid further into my mouth. A low hiss escaped him as his eyes and head rolled back. I felt a tug of my hair, pushing me closer, deeper, completely taking him all in.

His breathing became labored, stuttered, he was about to come undone, so close. He growled my name, losing his voice shortly after, purring sweet and delectable expletives, telling me he was close, how good my lips felt wrapped around him, how much he loved watching me suck his cock. I loved these moments, he was such a loving, sweet person, but like this, he was carnal. It exhilarated me, I fed off it. These private, passionate, beautifully sensual moments, just us, in our own world, no one would know. No one could break that bubble.

“Baby, fuck, I’m gonna cum, don’t stop” I obliged, squeezing more firmly, gathering more moisture, moaning louder, humming against him, eliciting small vibrations to secure the pending explosion. With one more chasmic thrust, all control was lost. His body shook, his voice echoing throughout the room, releasing every bit that was left of his will.

His eyes sprung open, a lazy smile plastered across his face. He pulled me up, shaking his head, slightly laughing. “You...you’re...oh shit!” The smell of whatever he was cooking took on a charred scent and has now gathered into a mass of burned liquid. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” His face was covered in leftover orgasmic rush, cheeks pink and flushed, but still with that cheeky smile. “I don’t have the slightest clue what you mean darling.” I winked, bringing my lips to his.”Pizza?”

[modestlyabsurd]

Alight Pt. 3 (Loki x Reader)

"That," he wiped his bleeding cheek, "was a big mistake."

He was gonna retaliate right then and there, the life leaving his eyes and rage consuming him. You prepared. He'd already gotten in a few licks leaving you pretty weakened. Arms were throbbing from blocking blows and your head burned in white hot pain. You're no match for Dickhead. But at this point if you died fighting him, so be it. It'd be better than living the rest of your life here.

As he lunged, he suddenly froze in place, and then your blood ran cold. His face disappeared - then reappeared in an instant.

Your heart beat so fast that your entire body was rendered paralyzed. Hallucinating - definitely hallucinating.

But it happens again; his face glitches from its brooding, bloodied features to a blank sheet of skin and back again.

He chuckles. His voice darkens robotically as his face goes in and out, like a TV with bad reception. "Looks like you damaged my screen."

The ground wobbles beneath your feet, but there's nothing around to steady yourself except for your own head - and it could explode at any second.

"What? Now you're scared?" He takes a small step forward, you take the same step back. "You should've been scared this entire time. You're not back home on Earth."

... What? How?

"Don't act surprised. But it's not an act, is it? You really thought you were smart. Humans are so laughable sometimes. Steadfast? Sure. But you're all so easily broken. That, and your inherent ignorance was the dead giveaway to your origins."

His dark, artificial eyes repeatedly go in and out and return to yours each time. He clears his throat and places his arms at ease. "Allow me to explain a bit about myself, since you were gracious enough to oblige me in a similar nature," he smiles, gesturing to his injured human cheek.

Your skin itches all over. Your mind is sending distress signals everywhere it can. Which, clearly, isn't far.

"I am a Chronomonitor. We are created and assigned whenever and wherever a reality is altered. I would normally explain the development process of how we're created, but I'd bet you don't know the first thing about quantum technology. Just like I'd bet you don't know the first thing about gamma radiation," he smirks.

Fuck ... what all do they know?

"But that's besides the point. I was created when the reality of Earth in the year 2012 was tampered with by undercover parties. I will cease to exist when my job is complete, which is to eliminate the threat and restore reality as it is. Until then, you're stuck with me indefinitely."

Wonderful, you bitterly think to yourself.

He dares to take another step closer, and despite yourself, you dare not to take one back.

"See how much easier things can be, if you're a good little human?"

A voice interrups through his radio, shouting urgently in their verbal codes. He tilts his head to listen and in an irritated rush he responds with an affirmation.

Now completely faceless, without concealment, he turns to leave. But not without a final word. "I feel like we've gotten to know each other a little better. No more secrets now. Right, Doe six one eight? Or, rather, little L/N."

He had the nerve to whisper your last name.

When the cell door shuts behind Mr. Chronomonitor, you start crumbling. Your legs nearly give way as you stumble back, back, until you hit the concrete wall and slide down, your throat constricting. They tracked you. They tracked the breadcrumbs, and you just gave them a freshly baked loaf with your name written on it.

You couldn't breathe. You couldn't think straight. All you could do was cry.

All you wanted was Loki.

Loki would know what to do.

Loki would know what to say.

Loki would protect you. He wouldn't let these forces get anywhere near you. He didn't! That's why your steadfast, laughable, ignorant fucking self is here in this space pit. Because he died protecting you from the true forces of the universe, and their crimes.

You wished that wasn't your last memory of him. That's why you've forced yourself not to think of him during this imprisonment. But things always come full circle. You should've known better. Loki always compared your feelings to a body of water, and said that the levee reserving the riverflow was made of fire. The flames will always succumb to the water at some point. Goddammit, you miss him. In the most selfish way possible.

He was one the few people in your life who accepted you unconditionally; he loved even the worst parts of you. Looking back, you took that for granted. A little voice keeps nagging you about it as time goes on, and in all honesty, you're starting to believe you deserve to stay here indefinitely.

You miss him. The hot, fiery tears leaving streaks down your swollen cheeks are the testament to it. You miss the real Loki. A far cry from who's out here in the timelines running amok.

It's the broken, vengeful, brainwashed monster that Thanos created in 2012 that's left. You think back to that distant, original little spark of hope; that maybe the real Loki is still alive and lost in there somewhere. Maybe you could find him, bring him to the light.

But that was then. Now, the chances of ever finding Loki are slim to none, and your chances of staying prisoner here are rising.

~

Oh for Heaven's sake. It was just getting good!

The melee had to end right when the mysterious neighbor had done what he couldn't do (what he truly wished to do if he hadn't a main objective) and that was provoke that oaf of a guard to the breaking point. But he remembers there's been no provoking whatsoever. Only silence.

And then a beating ensued, and even Loki had to turn away. He's not a sadist. He's more of a curious panther that's been reduced to a pathetic house cat.

Indeed while the voice of the Other continues to berate him for his childish approaches, and in a similar nature, Loki has chosen to ignore it. Temporarily, of course. It's not his fault that the daft creature cannot function under anything but its own direct orders. Loki enjoys chaos. And in this place, he doesn't even have to be the perpetrator.

Although useful in that he now knows a great deal more about these bots and their facility, this sort of chaos isn't exactly what he had in mind. Unlike the Other, as well as the Titan, hurting people fruitlessly doesn't interest Loki.

"Knock, knock," a voice sarcastically sounds outside the cell door.

Loki's ears perk and the hair on his neck dares to stand on end, but he doesn't allow it. He leans against the gray concrete comfortably, awaiting his visitor.

"Time for my interrogation already?" he chirps. The Chronomonitor - information accredited to his neighbor - opens the heavy door, bringing in shadowy dim light from the hallway. It appears as the same burly man with educated eyes and sturdy limbs, and a faint scar on its cheek. Loki cannot the smirk on his face as he eyes the robot, relishing in the secret knowledge he has. He distantly wonders how he'll use it to his advantage later.

"Afraid not," it shakes its head. "That's why I'm here. Mobius has chosen to delegate more time to another case over the next few days, so you're off without questioning today."

"What a shame. I was looking particularly forward to my session this afternoon," Loki feigns disappointment. He then inquires, "What could possibly interrupt such a cured routine?"

The robot ponders Loki, but in the moment, does not deem him disingenuous.

A mistake.

As if it's divulging a secret, the robot lowers its tone. "It's the person right next to you, as a matter of fact. She's been an absolute pain ever since she was apprehended a month ago. Mobius is even sicker of it than I am," it nearly growls, before recollecting. "But now he's finally ready to do something about it."

The way the bot's teeth shined in sticky enjoyment struck a nerve in Loki.

He tilts his head, playing along. "What do you think that something will be?"

"That's to be determined. Oh, and you didn't hear any of this," the bot threatens.

"Of course," Loki assures. Even though he heard every word of it.

The bot nods. It then scans the cell, as Loki crosses his arms and slides his tongue over the grooves of his cheek. The robot's eyes land on the uneaten breakfast tray next to the bed.

"Better eat. The cooks never cook that good."

"Merely saving it for later," he responds, voice clipped.

Awkwardly, the bot turns to leave. "Won't be another meal for a good few hours."

"Four hours. To be exact."

The bot looks back at Loki with bewilderment. Loki notes how easily angered they can become, if outwitted. Without another word it waves an arm dismissively and locks the door tightly behind.

It's just at the surface. But how did his neighbor do it so effortlessly?

A girl, he remembered. The robot referred to a girl.

He lay his head against the hard pillow of the wall, still propped against it. Outside his ever-racing mind, the world around him became quiet. Impossibly quiet; quiet enough to hear. Maybe enough to hear a pin drop, or a mouse scatter across the floor.

Definitely enough, he learned, to hear soft, barely audible cries through the thick walls of his cell. His eyes widened.

Female cries, he notes.

Loki's curiosity is getting the best of him. But he decides he'll deal with whatever repercussions there are.

Just for kicks, he creates a duplicate illusion of himself, leaving it on the bed. Then, cloaked in invisibility, he enters the cell next door.

The cells are similar - dark, unkind concrete. A bed. A sink. A toilet. A mirror, and something his own cell lacks: a door with a small window with a view, of another door. Loki's not surprised.

The prisoner is what surprises him.

A woman, indeed. Scrubbing at her face over the white sink, washing it in red. She pushed her hair back as it kept falling in her face, sticking to her blood. Wearing the TVA prison suit identical to his, her exposed arms were marked by violence. She turns off the sink and looks at herself in the mirror. If Loki were visible, they would've locked eyes right then and there.

She looked innocent, even babyish in the face. Something felt familiar about her. Strongly, strangely familiar, but he couldn't place how. It bothered him. The dark bruises littering her skin bothered him more; they pinched and scratched at his nerve endings.

He can't look away. In fact, he contemplates making his presence known to her, but hesitates as she moves to the cot.

Loki breathes.

Upon having a face to match with the body, he wonders. He's always been a good judge of character; what could that face have possibly done to be treated differently than he? He hadn't been assaulted by any guards or agents, even when he'd provoked them. Make no mistake, he's treated with less than respect, but not to the point of beatings at least. So what is it about this normal, non-threatening woman?

Still unable to look away from her, she lays on the cot, facing the wall - away from Loki. From this perspective she seems almost like a child. He sees her deep breathing and hears her silent whimpers; he watches her until she eventually falls asleep.

Resigning himself back to his own cell, he too lays on his cot. It's so boring here. Even with new guests, they fall asleep just as the story begins to barely unfold. A pity.

Who is that woman?

There's two sides to the coin that is Loki's thought process. It would be a lie to say he wasn't glad that the quiet one finally cried herself to sleep. But when has it being a lie ever stopped him from saying something?

~

tag list: @sydneyss-worlddd @afinedilemma @fire-in-her-veinz @belladonnabarnes @drakesfiance @internetgremlin @dragon-chica @triggeredpossum @tarynkauai @sadwaywardkid

[niallisherelove]

3 years of loving (1) man.

I love this man. But, that isn’t even enough to say. I feel like the word “love” for him isn’t even close to what I feel. If Niall wasn’t in my life, I would feel completely empty. My heart would not get the joy, that I get from him anywhere else. Niall James Horan isn’t just a funny, good looking celebrity to me. He is my safe zone, and writing this post I can’t even find words. There really isn’t anything I can say besides he has captured me like no one else has. He makes me feel happy, he makes me laugh, smile, cry, scream, shout, and get so excited that I can’t breathe. Makes me tear up, without even trying. And, I can’t really tell you why. But, I can tell you exactly why I love him. Let me just start by saying, he spent his birthday at Rays of Sunshine. A place for kids and charity. He sat there and sang, and laughed with his fans. Not only that but he has an organization right now going to two very important causes. No one asked him to do that, he did it all himself. His groove and passion for life inspires me beyond compare. That man has gotten me through some of the toughest moments, in my life. He is honestly the sweetest person on planet earth. Niall is so kind and light hearted. He always and I always say this puts himself last, and would do anything to show the ones that love him, that he loves them back. But not just loves them back. He loves them even harder then they love him. His voice touches me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. How do I even describe how much I love him? My happiness would not look real without him. He works so incredibly hard, and he deserves everything he has and more. I honestly just get speechless trying to express how much I love him, because no one will ever understand. I know that one of the best days of my life will be when I’m in his arms and I tell him how much of an amazing human he is. I know when I actually feel him in my arms, and know that he’s real it will be a feeling that I can’t even describe. He isn’t a person I can go to in my day to day life. He is so MUCH more. Incredibly more, he is someone I can look at and instantly feel better, someone I can hear and feel like nothing else matters except him. Okay, I can’t start this post. My fingers are gonna be broke after this. Niall James Horan really just hits the spot for me. Before I explain why I love him with my whole heart, and why he is truly the one and only true love of my life, I need y’all to know I mean every word I am saying. Niall always cheers me up when I’m down like no one ever could. I started loving him when I was 11 or 12 and now I am 17. His album that he put out is just pure beauty and art and he needs to know that. He opened his heart out to all of the people who love him and he wasn’t scared to see what they thought. I’ve never heard anyone open up like he did, ever. I am speechless. I really am. Every single time he gets on that stage he owns it and he makes sure everyone is having the time of their life. He really means EVERYTHING TO me. I really would not have the joy and satisfaction and smile I have for life without him, none of it. He really just deserves the absolute freaking best. He always works his best and puts out his best and that’s what he deserves. No one will ever know how much this man truly means to me. His joy for life and his care free attitude and his heart that shines out the most to me. He really started with nothing and he did this all by himself, he made himself the artist he is today. And everyday that goes by I think of him. Not one day passes without thinking of him. He loves all of us so much and shows us that every single day. He really made me love myself as a person and I’m just realizing that now. He brings out the best of me and my happiness. This may all sound so cheesy but this bub continues to make me so happy. The lyrics he writes are so pure and it’s like he knows what the fans want to hear. He’s sold billons off copies and I’m just so so proud of him. I feel such at home at any 1D show or his show, it’s crazy. He really is just the sweetest person and I want to repeat it 5000000 times. There’s so many people who love him and that’s all he deserves. So much love and happiness. He is so kind, funny, sweet, handsome... etc ... Basically you could say he has one of those perfect souls. I wake up everyday and think of him and smile because of him. 😭💓 TALENT . I wasn’t even done I just want him to realize how special he is. I wish I could just go up to him and tell him all of this. 😭 He really is as corny as it is a light in the dark for me. I am so proud of you and I hope that you enjoy the break you have because you deserve and need it. I hope you are reading all these messages and do that huge smile you do and your enormous contagious laugh. You have changed so many lives, and I would never ever regret loving you as much as I truly do. Your presence is truly a blessing to this earth. And I don’t deserve you. Like I want want to scream because I love you so much. I dedicate so much time to you because you just- I can’t even tell you why. I shed a few tears writing this and it’s dramatic but it’s how I feel. 25 years of a strong young beautiful man. I love you Niall. You’re like my second little home and I can’t thank you enough for existing on this earth that wouldn’t be the same without you. Thank you for everything that you do. Not just for me, but all, each and every single one of your fans. Your importance to me grows each second of each day. You are so selfless. You continue to surprise me by how amazing you are more and more each day. This new era you are going to smash it out of the park, like you always do. And, another favorite thing about you out of like 5,000,000 things is that... even if you don’t do good you are still happy. You always do well, but you are always smiling and give back no matter what the cause. And, that my love means everything. I know you will never see this but, I can’t wait to give a letter to you. I just can’t even comprehend that you are real. You are you. And, I wouldn’t want it any other way. You have so many family and friends who think everything and more of you and that’s because you’re love is contagious and infectious. You are so passionate about what you love and stand up for what you know is right. Niall is a tease, and a caring human that just wants to make everyone happy. He is weird and awkward at times, but that’s why I love him. And that’s only the start of why I love him. He is growing so much and always focuses on bettering himself. That is probably one of my favorite things about him. He never stops, and won’t give up until he knows he’s done the best he can. He is always making people smile and laugh. And, I truly just can’t thank him enough for being who he is; because he’s apart of me. He’s such a big part and constant thing in my life. He helps me like I wouldn’t believe, even I don’t know how much he helps me. His sarcasm in his humor, the way he is so gentle with fans. His nature to always make people feel wanted and loved. His weird way of making me feel that for myself. There’s so many simple things I love about him, but countless deep things that I honestly can’t word. His boldness, his cariama, his ALL. I could go on but there’s not one thing that I don’t love about him. It’s mind blowing. I don’t know who or where I would be without him. He always wants to learn new things, and the album he made was I can’t even imagine how hard to make. All in all HAPPY 26th my love. 💓💓💓I adore you. If you want to sit here all day and talk about how much I freaking love you, we can. I can not believe you are 24 baby! I can't even put into words how much you as a person mean to me. Almost evreything. You're spirt, smile, laugh, love, caring heart, simplicity, view on life, and I could go on. You make me so happy. Not a lot of people hardly any, make me as happy as you do. One day, if I ever get the chance I want to tell you that. I hope you are having a blast today. You deserve so much and more. This may sound cheesy, but I mean all of this from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so so much. You and the boys have made me love life so much more. I still can't believe you're 24. You act like a little 4 year old. I am so proud of you and all that you have achieved, and so freaking proud all yours dreams have come true. I love you. Just remember you have so many fans, who would do anything for you. You are such a great guy. You are so beautiful and funny. When I look at you it just brings me back to how much I actually love you. You will continue to grow and your music will always be breathe taking. I really wish there were more people on earth like you. Happy Birthday! Today is all about you! I LOVE YOU AND IVE EDITED THIS POST 500 times. I felt like I didn't write enough. Evrey single quality about you makes me so happy. I'm just sitting here thinking of how much of an amazing human being you are. You always think of others. Always put yourself last. You are not greedy or selfish, and that is how most people turn out when they have what you do. You just love life. You never ever take for granted what you have. Ever. And you just shine to your fullest. I really do love you so freaking much. Your accent, you're amazing blue eyes. Each thing about you. I just want to keep going and tell the world how much you deserve because my god, it's a whole lot. Don't ever stop being you. Get excited at the little things & laugh until you can't breathe. Surround yourself with the right people, like you always do, and I'm sure you'll never change. Thank you for always being here for me, whenever I need you. Some people think this is over dramatic, but each word I'm typing is true. I'm so glad I found you in 2012. I'm so glad that you are a real human. I just always want the best for you. I hope you enjoy you're time on stage, and I know you do. I see it with your passion and smile. Meet a girl, fall in love. I just don't want you to ever feel like you don't deserve all you have. Because you sure as hell do. A person like you, there's no one like you. You are so close to perfect as bad as that sounds. I love you, and I always will. Keep shining your light. Never let it out.

[screamingforyears]

BEST OF 2017: TOP TEN

The TOP TEN, a collection of my 10 favorite albums of the year. These were the albums that demanded the most of me and the ones I found myself repeatedly going back to again & again…

CIVIL LUST

‘CONSTITUTIONS’

SELF-RELEASED

CIVIL LUST combine, then blend, all the aesthetic pleasures that make a great Goth Pop record on their debut LP ‘CONSTITUTIONS.’

The Salt Lake City based duo (Christian Riley and Isaiah Michael) are masters of their craft, who nail the details to a tee. 'Constitutions’is an exercise in classic post-punk tropes, but ones that have been further refined by years of study and more than capable craftsmanship.

The Cure bass lines, the Ian Curtisian vocals, to the Tears for Fears exuberance, Civil Lust create art that is sinewy yet soft (take one listen to “Receive” and tell me I’m wrong).

“Even Further” literally pulls you further into Civil Lust’s majestic ways with an echoed drum machine beat, tingled guitar lines, and Riley’s longing while the slow groove of the sensual “A Man You Will” is the type of sound the group perfect. The devil’s in the detail.

‘Constitutions’ and its able bodied creators construct a seamless 7 track album and further enrich an already fertile modern goth landscape...

DEATH BELLS

‘STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD’

BURNING ROSE / FUNERAL PARTY

DEATH BELLS, the Sydney based group of: Maurice Santiago (Bass), William Canning (Vocals), Aron Postolovic (Guitar), Rimas Veselis (Guitar), David Gauci (Synth), and Luca Watson (Percussion) seem to understand the power of gloomy guitar based indie, the kind that held court throughout the genre’s most influential decade and like many of the amazing groups mining these fields, they seem to understand the importance of detail and the need to move beyond mere homage.

DB’s beautifully bleached William Canning is a frontman to be reckoned with, as he parlays the looks, voice, words, and bravado into a force that demands attention, but not at the expense of working as an important cog to his band’s sturdy wheel. A singer is only as good as the foundation that surrounds him, so luckily for us the rest of the Bells are a top-notch unit.

‘STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD’ is a pure guitar record through and through, one that borrows equally from paisley jangle, arena reaching grandness, and moody post-punk while being executed with aplomb by Veselis & Postolovic’s dual attack. 

“Only You” finds guitars loudly pinging over a steady rhythm section, allowing the coldly effervescent vocals to take center stage. The group hold court and have once again presented a lively, yet somber piece of buttoned up pop with “Only You.”

Death Bells sound hopeful yet weary on their engaging debut album, coming together as a cohesive & bold unit unafraid to reach big while retaining all the detached cool of their forebears...

DRAB MAJESTY

‘THE DEMONSTRATION’

DAIS

DRAB MAJESTY, the project created and fronted by premiere goth alien Deb Demure, returned in 2017 with their second proper LP.

‘THE DEMONSTRATION’ sees Drab Majesty doubling down on what they do so well, finely tuned new wave goth, but better. Demure’s former LA based bedroom experiment (which has morphed into a two-man group with the addition of Mona D) has seen its profile & popularity rise, after successful tours supporting the likes of King Dude and Cold Cave.

Drab Majesty are the torchbearers for a certain strain of Goth, where the dark wave crashes full on into brooding Reagan era new wave pop. Demure captures a specific sound, whereas every production trick is precise and aesthetic rules the land. This attention to detail, along with Deb’s unique and heavily treated guitar style, is what sets Drab apart from the sea of Goth indebted groups.

The guitar tones captured throughout the album are phenomenal, as witnessed on the sci-fi waltz of “Not Just A Name.” Reminiscent of Duran Duran’s more subdued moments, only way fucking spacier.

Drab Majesty are masters of ethereal Goth, steeped in dated production tricks, while literally reaching towards the cold vastness of space. What was once a solo affair has morphed into a full fledged entity, and as the popularity grows, so to does the quality of the Drab output....

FEARING

‘A LIFE OF NONE / BLACK SAND’

FUNERAL PARTY

The kind of dark, brooding, and equally booming rock music that FEARING create on their EPs ‘A LIFE OF NONE’ & ‘BLACK SAND’ has been sorely missing in recent years. 

Fearing are exactly what I look for in a great gothic rock band, they capture a mood & essence that rings true while blowing past any attempts at modesty. And while I enjoy when things are minimal & low-key, I can’t help but gush when a band, especially one steeped in gloom, comes along sounding all huge. Which is precisely how fearing Fearing operate, they create big sounding rock songs that take elements from post-punk, 90′s Alt-Rock, and deathrock and combine them into one brutalist take on Goth.

“Beyond Light” sticks to the aggressively dark template of chiming guitars, thick bass, and wallowed out vocals while “Other Life” opens up with big thunderous drums, rolling bass, and moody synths before linking with a pinging guitar and layered vocals. “Other Life” shows a growth in Fearing’s songwriting, with sprinkles of piano notes adding new depth and has easily become one of the finest entry’s in the group’s catalog.  

The EP format is surely the way to go in our modern times and the Oaklanders have taken full advantage of our attention-deficits by breaking us off a nice four track stretch, as they satisfy our itch and keep us wanting more….. 

GRIZZLY BEAR

‘PAINTED RUINS’

RCA

Grizzly Bear, survivors of: the Brooklyn Sonic Boom, side projects, Indie Rock’s halcyon days, expectations, New York Magazine spreads, NYC itself, personal turmoil, indie labels, adulting, Taylor Swift, and most improbably…..themselves, have triumphantly returned with their first album in 5 years titled ‘Painted Ruins.’

‘Painted Ruins’ shows the no-longer-in-one place based group of Ed Droste, Daniel Rossen, and the two Chris combo of Taylor & Bear expanding on their already impressive sonic palette, while turning the focus inward. Grizzly Bear is the perfect example of “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” and for a group consisting of 4 very distinct musicians/personalities it’s really saying something. As corny as it sounds, when these four get together in a room, something special happens.

Album standout “Mourning Sound” is the straight ahead rocker we’ve been waiting for, a no BS thumper filled with gorgeous guitar work per Rossen. Truly one of the best things the group has ever penned as it manages to combine wistful regret (”I made a mistake….”) with a thick groove while deploying a goosebump inducing twinkle of synth.

Like most great albums, ‘Painted Ruins’ is a grower, with each subsequent listen revealing a new hidden nugget. The foursome known as Grizzly Bear have ended their 5 year absence with something meaningful, powerful, and refreshing…

HUMAN LEATHER 

‘LAZY KARAOKE’

CERCLE SOCIAL 

HUMAN LEATHER, comprised of Adam Klopp (Choir Boy) & Chaz Costello (Sculpture Club), are a self described “shitty version of Tears for Fears mixed with Depeche Mode,” but don’t let the humble self-deprecation fool you, because the duo tap into something so pure and unfettered that you simply have no choice but to succumb. 

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news to those who feel the need to cling onto originality, but everything’s been done already, so get the fuck over it and stop missing out on some truly great modern acts.

The Salt Lake City duo aim to break your fucking heart on their debut LP ‘LAZY KARAOKE’ which is chocked full of Reagan era bangers and aesthetically dripping odes that nail every aesthetic detail. 

“Ugly Sister” is a pure synth-pop ditty cloaked in the aforementioned Tears for Fears (who at this point are impacting this generation on some Joy Division type levels) influence. The devil is in the detail, something Klopp & Costello clearly understand, as the intricate production alongside the airy & emotive vocal courtesy of Adum (who recalls Wild Beasts’ Hayden Thorpe) is something to behold.

‘Lazy Karaoke’ was easily the most talked about album within the goth/post-punk community and with good reason.  

“Everything is fucking scary……”

JOHN  MAUS

‘SCREEN MEMORIES’

RIBBON MUSIC

  Well……..the wait is officially ended as JOHN fucking MAUS returned in 2017 with the long awaited album ‘SCREEN MEMORIES.’

The Minnesota (by way of the the World) based project never ceases to capture the imagination and does this by creating unfuckable with Goth Pop. Maus is the undisputed master of the deconstructed gem, and will remain so by adding the aesthetically pleasing extra mile in everything he touches.

‘Screen Memories’ is a fluid & fantastic listen proving that Maus hasn’t lost a single step since we last heard from him years ago. Maus, ever the pop-deconstructionist, is so well adept at creating nuanced pop songs, steeped in goth, that you almost take him for granted at this point.

While a melancholic crop of songs litter the album, the taut “Walls of Silence” allows Maus’ reverb drenched chant to roam free atop a bed of driving bass, eerie synths, and compressed snare snap. Limber, yet driving, this slice of gothic minimalism benefits from not only its creators expertise, but gains so much power from its brief 2 minute and 23 second run-time. 

If you’ve been sleeping on Maus, well shame on you, it’s time for you to wake the fuck up, press play, and soak up his mile-a-minute brilliance…

NEW TODAY

‘BETTER THAN DEATH’

SELF-RELEASED

Goth comes in many shapes and sizes, from cold wave to guitar driven gloom rock and everything in between. NEW TODAY, the under the radar post-punk duo of Dante Palomba (Casuistry) & Daniel Srungaram (Two One Six), fall into the latter camp with their latest LP ‘BETTER THAN DEATH.’

The group bring the big 80’s post-punk ala the Sound, the Chameleons, and Love & Rockets, while pairing it with minimalist detail. Taking Interpol-like guitar work, which at its best has always been minimal yet evocative, while juxtaposing it with substantial movements and huge vocals that take their place in the front. Dante Palomba’s voice is a viable instrument and the group treat it as such, which is exactly why New Today fall into the Romance/Trad Goth grouping.

All the preceding beauty culminates on “The Years” in the form of an icy synth that reaches for the ether, while being reminiscent of Interpol’s slower moments (which is basically how the XX got paid) but with far greater feeling and veiled optimism. “The Years” is an emotionally moving piece, the kind that builds yet sustains, and revels in its stark beauty.

At an even 10 tracks, New Today seem to know that leaving us wanting more is the key and ‘Better Than Death’ is one of the most fully realized and expertly executed albums I’ve heard in quite awhile.

It’s good to be goth….

PROTOMARTYR

‘RELATIVES IN DESCENT’

DOMINO

PROTOMARTYR triumphantly returned in 2017 with a new Long Player titled ‘RELATIVES IN DESCENT.’

This is a guitar rock record, which I know sounds like an oxy moron, but holy fuck the standard 4-piece is done proud throughout‘Relatives in Descent.’ This is the sound of an already great band furthering their footing and flexing their well defined muscle. Each member is in supreme control of their respected instrument: from the sharp lyrical prowess and spot on vocal take of Joe Casey, to the skeletal guitar riffs that blot entire song stretches via Greg Ahee, down to the powerful rhythm section courtesy of Scott Davidson’s driving bass and the chaotic (beyond time keeping) pace of Alex Leonard’s thunderous drums.  

The groggy “My Children” takes its time with a slow build of doomed kinetic energy, before opening up and falling into a rangy Proto groove of guitars, rhythm, and wordsmith diatribes. “My Children” builds and builds into a melee of guitars/drums/bass until the clouds part and the song opens up offering a chill inducing moment while Casey commands the room. The track’s guitar work in the final third is awe inspiring and note worthy.

By doubling down on what’s made them so great, while stepping out of their comfort zone, ‘Relatives In Descent’ finds Protomartyr at their finest, proving once again that the sons of Detroit are in it for the long haul....

SEXTILE

‘ALBEIT LIVING’

FELTE

The Los Angeles based death-squad known as SEXTILE have triumphantly returned with the pristinely raw ‘ALBEIT LIVING.’

Sextile are the teeth, the brute truth, the harsh reality, the gritty glitz, and the creators of the mad mad world party record we need. The harbingers of bleached catharsis, consisting of the ridiculously attractive & stylish group of: Brady Keehn (vox/guitar/synth) Melissa Scaduto (drums), LA Eddie Wuebben (synths), and the newest addition Cameron Michel (guitar/bass), are trending upwards and with great reason.

That primal drive comes from Melissa Scaduto, not only through the floor shaking beats, but through her guidance, visual appeal, and aesthetic vision. Simply put, she’s the beating heart of the group, one that’s rounded out by Brady Keehn’s Cobra Kai-like bad-boy charisma, and Eddie Wuebben’s art damaged cool.

“Sterilized” is sinisterly delightful. A manic & breathy beast, where deathrock and new wave meet late at night to perform unspeakable acts upon one another. I found myself demonstrably head bobbing upon every listen (“can’t shake it”) while looking for the nearest dance floor thanks to the boogie down bass & drums. “Sterilized”allows Keehn to do what he does so well, that uptick coda (think “Can’t Take It.”), the melody of which is so fucking strong that I find myself walking around panting “Come on and sterilize me.”

Sextile have raised the bar for everyone on ‘Albeit Living’ as they establish themselves as Felte’s flagship group through hometown-hero sincerity and a cohesive album that never overstays its welcome...

***BONUS***

DEATH OF LOVERS

‘THE ACROBAT’

DAIS

2017 closed out with a tender aesthetic bang thanks to DEATH OF LOVERS’ ‘THE ACROBAT.’

The New York based group, boasting no less than three members of the emotional-gaze band Nothing and keyboardist CC Loo, create timeless New Wave ran through a gothic dream-pop portal. It’s not a disservice or slight to say that Death of Lovers created the long lost John Hughes soundtrack that we’ve been waiting on, it’s simply that good, that infectious, and that sugary. 

“The Absolute” exudes a feeling of warm nostalgia, yet teeters with an anxiety inducing nervousness that’s coyly deployed over an upbeat arrangement of giddiness. The compressed echo beat, airy synths, and razor sharp guitar lines create a solid foundation for Domenic Palermo’s up in the clouds vocal (with a harmonious assist from drummer Kyle Kimball). 

Death of Lovers are keen architects of the smooth delight, as “The Absolute” is five minutes of pure stylized bliss and that’s long before the sound of an aesthetically pleasing saxophone buries it’s reedy goodness into your brain which slides in well next to yearning moody bummers like “The Lowly People” and “Divine Song.”

This is what it sounds like when Hardcore vets find their inner New Romantic (take notes Head Automatica).

Seriously, that sax tho….

[misterclandestine]

My Favorite Stuff from 2017

It’s been a tough one, but there was a lot of awesome stuff that made it easier. Here are some of my favorites in no particular order.

DAMN by Kendrick Lamar, Album - The World felt different once this was in it. Kenny’s 4th release proved he’s just as thoughtful, agile, and hungry as ever.

everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too by Johnny Sun, Book - You can go through this hybrid graphic novel/picture-book in one sitting, but there’s so much to chew on here that I recommend taking time with this story, which follows Jomny, a misspelling aliebn sent to earth to study human behavior. The brief, direct interactions simply, & hilariously reveal everything beautiful and tragic about what it is to be alive.  

Abstract: The Art of Design, Series - This Netflix series drops you into the lives of 6 masterful creators moving through subcultures of artistry (i.e Footwear Design, Illustration, Stage Design). Each revealing their varying methods, ideas, and joys about creativity. The standout episode follows Christoph Niemann, an illustrator for the New Yorker, and his blue-collar approach to his work.

Game of Thrones: The Spoils of War, TV Series - Though this season was rushed, clumsy and arguably unrecognizable from the compelling and prestigious drama that has unprecedentedly impacted our culture, you won’t find a more gripping hour of television. You know a show is wilding out when you don’t know who the hell to even root for anymore (Get em, Drogo! Wait, not Bronn! Wait, not the incestuous child killer!)

Insecure: Season 2, TV Series - The show you didn’t know you needed. Issa Rae’s hilarious dramedy paints a picture of what it’s like to be young, ambitious, unapologetic, lonely, intelligent, sexy, successful, and losing.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Season 4, TV Series - Oliver’s weekly recap simultaneously manages to be enlightening, funny, depressing, and hopeful. His takedown of Alex Jones was one of the most satisfying things I consumed all year.

Do Not Disturb by Drake, Song - the final track of More Life, a surprise ‘mixtape’, samples ‘Time’ by Snoh Alegra, and is one of his most personal songs to date. Without a chorus, he raps for 3 minutes about not needing romance, fear of irrelevancy, and the quickening passage of time. Gracefully shifting between insecurity and arrogance with dizzying fervor, Aubrey continues to capture the emotional woes of an entire generation.

Get Out, Film - Jordan Peele’s directorial film debut is the rare instant classic, and it’s not because it has one of the most crowd-pleasing endings of all time. The satirical, social commentary cloaked in the guise of a horror comedy, refuses definition, and peels back layers of race, and class previously untouched in cinema.

Melodrama by Lorde, Album - With a kajillion pounds of pressure on her shoulders to follow up one of the best pop debuts of all time, Ella delivers. She croons on top of Jack Antonoff’s unruly production about heartbreak, fame, and the feeble impact of acclaim. As one Twitterer put it “I gain an extra chromosome when the beat drops in ‘Sober II’.

mother!, Film - I can’t say I enjoyed this movie because it was the second most excruciating sit I had at the theater all year (kudos to Justice League), but it left me SHOOK. It’s clearly allegorical, but what makes it masterful is that the way you take this movie in is colored almost entirely by your own personal experiences.

Master of None: Season 2, TV Series - A perfect double-feature to Insecure (give me a shared universe where Dev and Issa are a power couple). Ansari’s relentlessly entertaining series accomplishes what every second season strives for. It tops the first, while redefining and expanding itself. The show is tirelessly committed to the experiences of ‘others’ (a deaf person, a lesbian, a non-believing muslim, service workers in NYC etc.) It’ll leave you crying, laughing, and hungry.

Split, Film - When we’re lucky, films hit ya with “SURPRISE, muthafucka” moments that Jesus himself would not see coming. Shyamalan’s second hit in a row (after a run of all time duds) ends with one 17 years in the making. The iconic villain terrifyingly played with razor-sharp swiftness by the world-class James McAvoy is the icing on the cake.

Isaiah Thomas, Athlete - If not for Russell Westbrook’s record breaking response to Kevin Durant’s betrayal, the “King in the Fourth” takes home the MVP. Watching him play through tears the day after his sister died in a car accident will stay with me forever. His 53 point performance on her birthday a few weeks later starkly reminded me of the unifying, powerful spirit of sport.

Moonlight’s Best Picture Win - I’ll begin by saying that I really liked La La Land. A month after we swore in Don, we got it wrong again… psych! I’ll never forget the roller coaster of emotion that came over me in this moment. Barry Jenkin’s tale told through 3 untraditional acts (titled ‘Little’, ‘Chiron’ & ‘Black’) was gorgeously shot, flawlessly acted, and supremely helmed. It arrived at a time we needed it most and Mahershala Ali FINALLY got his shine.

Coco, Film - We got one shot this year, and we NAILED it. This breathtaking portrait of Mexican culture demands to be seen on the big screen and illuminates the importance of dreams, family, and tradition. No manches!

‘No Man’s Land’ scene in Wonder Woman - There were two times in the theater this year that I felt that sinking drop of a roller coaster in my belly, this was one of them. Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins must be emboldened and protected at all cost.

Woody Harrelson, Actor - The rare movie-star actor quietly had a phenomenal year, further etching the grooves of his name into Hollywood lore. His turns in The Glass Castle, The War for the Planet of the Apes, and Three Billboards in Ebbing Missouri prove he’s STILL at the top of his game. I’m shocked that his heartbreaking portrayal of a drifting, alcoholic yet whimsical and passionate father in The Glass Castle hasn’t gotten more attention.

S - Town, Podcast - The colder you go into this one, the better. All I’ll say is that you’ll step away from this one feeling some type of way about people, the feeble sustainability of the planet, and clocks.

The World Series, Sports - The. Best. Ever. After being devastated by Hurricane Harvey, the Astros grant Houstonians some restoration via their first World Series Championship in a thrilling 7-game series that was literally witnessed by the World.

The Keepers, Documentary Series- This 7 episode series documenting the varying controversies surrounding the Catholic Church left me epiphanized about what it means to remove the seemingly impenetrable powers of institutions. Targeting one single individual, or a group of individuals or an organization won’t get it done. We must take down the viral ideas themselves.

Bladerunner 2049, Film - Aside from being wondrously constructed technically (you won’t see better production design or cinematography - give Deakins his Oscar now dammit), this story about a robot serves up a surprising amount of soul. Denis Villeneuve, solidifying his auteur status, delivers a nostalgic yet entirely unique follow up to the beloved sci fi classic.

‘Throne Room’ scene in The Last Jedi - This was the other time I felt like I was falling in the theater. Despite considerable problems, Rian Johnson showed us stuff we’ve never seen before in the SW universe. It’s the showdown you dream about as a kid.

The Big Sick, film - Kumail Nanjiani’s autobiographical story of how he met his lover is sorta the woke edition of Meet The Parents. Like Dev on MON, Kumail struggles to blaze trails while upholding loyalty to family and falls in love for a white girl along the way. Ray Romano and Holly Hunter turn in a pair of the year’s best performances.

Big Little Lies, Mini Series - I resisted the marketing for this one initially: dissatisfied, rich folk in Monterey. But the re-teaming of Jean-Marc Vallée (Wild, Dallas Buyers Club, Demolition) & Reese Witherspoon seemed promising. Momentum grew with each weekly installment (I overheard people theorizing whodoneit in restaurants), which is refreshing in the Netflix age. The leads are all stellar (believe the hype about Kidman) and Zoe Kravitz proves she should be working more.

Creature Comfort by Arcade Fire, Song - A painful examination of youth that’s equally heartbreaking and melodic.

Homecoming Season 2 - The fictional podcast about the remnants of a government coverup of a failed rehabilitation program for distressed veterans makes some questionable narrative choices in it’s second season and Oscar Isaac is absent throughout most of it (likely due to a loaded schedule). He does “appear” at the end of the second episode ‘CIPHER’, in a brilliant usage of audio storytelling, and it left me in puddles.

Mindhunter, TV Series - We all know Fincher is a technical maestro, but I don’t think he gets enough credit for being a complete storyteller, which he clearly is. The 13-episode made-to-binge Netflix series based off the book by the same name follows Holden Ford, an idealistic FBI profiler, and Bill Tench, played by Holt McCallany subverting every macho character role he’s ever taken on as a highly intelligent, hardened fed, as they attempt to break ground on our understandings of serial murderers. All of Fincher’s trademarks are there with sprinkled elements of Seven, & Zodiac.

Tyler the Creator’s Tiny Desk Concert, Podcast - I enjoyed ‘Flower Boy’, but didn’t find myself returning to it. That all changed after this. In a year of fantastic TDCs (i.e: Thundercat, Chance the Rapper) Tyler’s stands out. With help from a pair of stellar background singers, his array of talents are on full display, namely: composing and orchestrating melody and harmony.

Colin Kaepernick, Athlete - it’s not about the flag or the military don’t @ me.

20th Century Women, Film - Released wide in January, it remains one of the year’s best. Set gorgeously in 1970′s Santa Barbara, Mike Mills’ deeply personal tribute to motherhood, women, & outcasts overflows with heart.

Kamala Harris, (D) CA Senator - She is so bad, can we get started on the 2020 bumper stickers now?

What Now by Sylvan Esso, Album - ‘Hey Mami’ from their 2014 debut popped up on my Pandora one day and I was IN. Amelia Meath’s angelic vocals layered over Nick Sanborn’s unpredictable production is sublime. The “Echo Mountain Sessions” include dope af live recordings of the album’s standout tracks.

Logan, Film - The Wolverine movie we deserve also features a star-making performance from Dafne Keen and an unrecognizable Professor X. With a decade between the last time he inhabited his iconic portrayal of Charles Xavier, Sir Patrick Stewart strides (wheels?) back into the role with award worthy tact.

Fargo Season 3, TV Series - The best season yet and that’s really saying something. David Thewlis is haunting as Varga, the creepiest, most frightening villain in the series’ history and a collection of top-tier thespians rounds out the rest of the cast. There’s also a moment in one of the later episodes similar to the ending of ‘Split’ that’s a real delight.  

Mr. Robot Season 3, TV Series - Showrunner Sam Esmail moves us through this complex dystopia, which has begun to bear resemblance to our reality lately, with complete CTRL. We see Mr. Robot AND Bobby Canavale like never before. That oner episode is pretty cool too, but it’s not even the season’s best.

Other Notables: Patton Oswalt: Annihilation, Girls Trip, The Leftovers Season 3, Glow, Twin Peaks: The Return, Ingrid Goes West, BEAUTIFUL THUGGER GIRLS by Young Thug, Add Violence by NIN, Good Time, Stranger Things: Season 2, Legion, Dunkirk, Crashing, NO ONE EVER REALLY DIES by N.E.R.D, 4:44 by Jay-Z, Dirty John, Wind River, Dear White People

FYI: I still haven’t seen/listened to a lot of stuff, namely all the big award contending films.

[kerapace]

1600 words of me talking about Lapis and Peridot’s relationship

putting this under a readmore even though I’m really proud of most of the stuff in here, it’s kind of an omnibus of a lot of thoughts I’ve had about the series over the past few months. everything before the line break was a summary written before I watched the episode, everything past that was written during/after.

Before I begin, I think it's time to write something of a retrospective summary pf the Lapis and Peridot relationship. (I'm sure the two of them will reconcile in some capacity eventually, but what just happened also seems pretty definite.) For better or for worse, and despite the intentions of the people who wrote for it, it's doomed to be one of the more controversial bits of the show. It was a strange combination of great writing on a micro level between characters whose relationship, from a thematic perspective, was maddeningly underwritten.

That sounds a little mean, and I know not everyone would agree with me on that, so let me explain things a little. Here are some questions I think you could easily answer for almost any major character pairing in Steven Universe: "Why do these characters get along?", "Why might they come into conflict?", and "How do they resolve conflict?". For me, "Too Far" asked and answered all that for me about Amethyst and Peridot's relationship. But as for Lapis and Peridot, even after 5-6 episodes of prominent focus from "Beta" onwards, I never really felt like I got solid and mutually consistent answers. There was a gap, there, between "Barn Mates" and "Beta", that never entirely was bridged. The real issues at hand were being dodged, even or especially when Zuke was writing them as the OTP. I don't have a problem with cute shipping fluff, but Steven Universe has always made me expect a little more than just that.

Maybe this wouldn't have bugged me so much if Lapis and Peridot's relationship hadn't felt like it had to an extent taken over both characters. Some of this is just the fact that I prefer Amethyst and Peridot, but I think the argument scans even without an emphasis on those two. During the Peridot redemption arc, there was a bunch of serialized character development that showed her coming to appreciate all the main cast, and Log Date left us thinking that this was really just the beginning of many strong new relationships that would help define the show going forward. But... at some point during the long string of Lapis/Peridot episodes in Season 4, I realized that Log Date didn't really feel like the beginning of that anymore. It felt like the end.

Although I will admit I'm not the biggest fan of it, I want to say that there is definitely something to like about the two. Even if you grant Zuke nothing else, it's hard to deny that they don't have a talent for making romantic dialogue sparkle, and there are a lot of scenes of the two of them together that probably wouldn't have worked at all if they weren't written by someone clearly so invested in the pairing. The focus on their relationship was a little excessive from my view, but the couple episodes with a coherent message about the characters ("The New Crystal Gems", "Room for Ruby") stood out as highlights in a season whose quality had started to ebb and whose thematic progression had begun to stagnate.

But the thing about those episodes is that they were the ones that felt like they had an interest in who these characters were before they got to the barn, and where they might be going in the future. Where Zuke had a little more influence, it felt like the complexities of the two were being avoided for the sake of portraying a perfect relationship that was a little unbelievable. Judging from the fandom, quite a lot of people liked this decision! But during a lot of Season 4, I got the feeling that these characters were just not *allowed* to have any differences with each other, and that always left me with a sinking feeling when I thought too much about their relationship.

I say all this as leadup to something that would sound cruel if I said it with no prelude: in the conflict over these characters, I'm actually pretty glad Zuke lost. I wish them all the best luck-- in their psychological health and even their creative career if and when they feel stable enough to get back to it. But I think this development is necessary to make the relationship actually mean something in the broader context of the show, to tie it into the deeper issues that were always the real draw for me and I imagine many others. And when talking about this I'm referring to the cute meep-morp jokes and the goofy-as-hell scenes of the two of them yukking it up just as much as I am Lapis saying she's still not used to Earth. That kind of sickly-sweet cuteness means a lot more to me if it's tempered with something else, something more complicated, and I think even a lot of the diehard shippers would agree with me on that.

I'll leave off with something I wrote on my tumblr a while ago, about why I don't like the idea of Lapis and Peridot as this April-and-Andy style odd couple:

"I feel like it’s important to note that Lapis isn’t really like April Ludgate: she’s not a moody teen who accidentally falls into goofy domestic bliss just because she’s never entertained the idea of being sincere about life before. She’s moody because she’s been on the receiving end of a lot of crappy things, and she lashes out partially because she’s been hurt but also because that’s who she is. Sure, Lapis has always had a lighthearted side from as far back as her first episode, but her antisocial tendencies aren’t some shallow pubescent affectation and it doesn’t make sense for them to disappear just because she acquiesced to be Peridot’s roommate."

I'm glad to see this episode. There are so many little things in here that I've wanted to see from the show for over a year, and more impressively it puts them in a context that's really fair to everyone involved.

First, this makes it clear that Peridot still has important lessons to learn, and that her arc is definitely not over. While Peridot's redemption arc gave her a new lease on life and a handful of new friends, it also, in retrospect, wasn't 100% healthy for her. Remember Peridot during her redemption arc? She told Steven and the Crystal Gems that, hey, we might have to work together, but it's on my terms. I'm not going to put up with anything I feel that I don't deserve. The redemption arc trained her to treat others with the same respect, but it's also made her feel, well, that all that time she spent tied to a fencepost with a leash might've been good for her. It's introduced her to guilt, and that's been both good and bad. She's much more considerate now, but it's not hard to say that the Peridot of early season 3 might have been better off had she been a little pissier. How would the Peridot of "Catch and Release" have reacted to Lapis destroying her tape recorder? How would she have reacted to Amethyst trying to throw her tablet in the ocean? Don't you think she would've been a little better off that way?

I think Peridot's arc would ring false if she doesn't come full circle, at least a little bit. It's all gone on in the background, but since she was introduced, Peridot's probably struggled with guilt more than any main character other than Steven. It seems a little weird to associate her with this, given her huge, ironclad ego, but the truth is Peridot wasn't so much immune to guilt as alien to it, and so it took her over because she had no real natural resistance to it. It's honestly hit her pretty hard. She needs help to get over it and get her groove back.

(A little side note here: I think it's generally uncommented-upon that the Crystal Gems aren't all that healthy of a community. It's not that any of them are unremittingly toxic or anything, but they're tiny, and very insular. None of the gems would be even remotely prepared to go out and live their lives in the broader world, and nobody but Steven has many people that they could use as a sounding board. (Maybe Amethyst could crash at Vidalia's, but look at how long it took her to even consider reconnecting during the Week of Sardonyx. None of the gems really have a social safety-net, and this is going to become much more of a problem if more gems decide to settle on Earth.) Peridot doesn't have a community so much as she has a family-- regardless of what they do to her, she doesn't really feel like she has the option of letting them go, and that applies as much to Lapis as to anyone else.)

It also brings to the fore a lot of the weird things about the Lapis and Peridot relationship that made a significant minority of people uncomfortable, while still being fairly respectful towards everyone who loved it so much. Everyone who disliked the sudden characterization of Peridot as this lovestruck submissive in "Barn Mates", everyone who thought it weird that Lapis never really apologized to Peridot in that episode, everyone who wondered why Lapis felt like she was stagnating, all of them are suddenly vindicated as the show reveals that these feelings were part of the plan all along. It also makes it clear that, hey, these people still get along pretty dang well, and it meant something to both of them.

And, most impressive of all, it manages to make it clear that the Lapis of "Beta" and the Lapis that trapped Jasper under the sea are the same person in a way that isn't gratituously mean or out-of-character. Lapis's anger and abuse towards Jasper and her plan to live alone in space with Peridot are very different manifestations of the exact same tendency to isolate herself alone with someone else dependent upon her.

[sonicoverlook]

You Want More: In Conversation With Madeleine Mayi

I recently chatted with SoCal pop-soulstress Madeleine Mayi, who has unleashed her highly anticipated debut 6-track EP Just The Six Of Us unto the world. Diane Birch and The Fall-era Norah Jones are easy comparisons that come to mind, but Madeleine blazes her own trail with incisive, personal lyrics and an impressive set of pipes to boot. Take a gander at our interview below while you get your ears on her debut EP over on Spotify. 

Andrew Steeley: Hey, Madeleine! Congratulations on the release of Just The Six Of Us! What was your frame of mind when you wrote these songs and what were some of the messages you hoped to convey?

Madeleine Mayi: Hey Andrew! First of all I want to say a huge thanks to you as you have been very supportive and excited about my music. It’s been a source of encouragement for me, so thank you! I am so happy to do this interview!

Thank you for your congratulations!! I could not be more excited. It certainly feels surreal… it’s been a long time in coming— from a recording/writing process standpoint but also an emotional process standpoint. The EP is titled “Just the Six of Us” because every song refers to a fairly life changing moment in my life in which a different part of my character was tested. My writing tends to pull from very specific moments, and then I try and make them universal and accessible to everyone in some way.

I guess a big overall theme I want to convey is that it’s possible to have lots of different sides to you and still be consistent. I have always been dreamy and distant, while also being logical and honest. I want to show that it’s okay to be all those things at once- that whatever those adjectives are for you (even if they seem mismatched), that’s just part of the coolness of you.

AS: The first track we heard from the release was "You Want More." (Fitting, because that's how I feel about your music!). Was that the first song you wrote for the EP, or did it come along later in the process? How did that song come about?

MM: Ha. Yes, that song title has served me well so far… “You Want More” was not the first song I wrote for the EP. The first song I wrote was actually "Santa Barbara", the live acoustic track. That song is near and dear to me - as it references my hometown. But "You Want More" came about when I got that groove stuck in my head. The rhythm of (what used to be a piano part) just kinda got stuck and it all flowed from there. It felt natural to keep the song so simple, with just a verse and chorus section - because the groove was enough to get my point across. The song is about being in a relationship and knowing that the other person wants something different than you, but not in a bad way, just in a new way. It’s a song about discovery really, which everyone gets... which is why I think I ended up choosing to release it first.

AS: There's another track on the EP called "Strawberry Hair" that we heard in advance. In fact, you dedicated an Instagram post to telling the story behind the song. Placing yourself back into the lyrics, what are some of the constants in your life and some of the twists and turns you've experienced that you personally relate to?

MM: For me, actually coming to music school was a big twist. I was pretty much dead set on not going to college at all. (And I am so grateful that I have the privilege and opportunity to — that is something I hope to never take for granted.) But then when someone I cared about told me that I shouldn’t go away, that’s when I started thinking about leaving. That’s pretty classic for me. So I applied and ended up getting in to this program without knowing how special it was. And I am so grateful. So — kind of like my mom when she moved away, I found myself in a city alone, starting a new life. It’s very much a song from my experience, by looking through the lens of her life.

AS: You're currently studying Popular Music at USC, which sounds like the coolest program EVER. Tell us about your experience in the program so far.

MM: Yes, I am. And yes it’s fun (as everyone says.. “oh that must be so fun, what do you do just sing all day?? haha”) but it’s also a lot of work. None of the programs here at USC mess around, and the Pop program is no exception. I could not be in a better place.

AS: As a songwriter, what are some of the more vivid lessons you've learned from your studies at USC? And how are you balancing life as a student with your life as a professional musician?

MM: I think the most important lesson I’ve learned as a songwriter is that while it’s good to take classes and learn the tools, the best way to improve your songwriting is just to go out and live life. Try new things and meet new people, that’s where inspiration will really flow- when you’re doing things out of the ordinary.

Balancing school and work is sometimes difficult, but honestly the program here is so focused on preparing us for exactly what we want to do, that it all sort of feels like one effort. I don’t really differentiate the two that much.

AS: I had the good fortune of seeing you in concert at The Mint here in Los Angeles back in February, and I was so captivated by how much fun you genuinely seem to have on stage! You're clearly well ahead of the game in terms of poise and stage presence. Where does that confidence come from?

MM: Thank you!! Performing is my passion, really. Something about singing to people just makes sense to me… I think it’s my most honest form of communication. I think that’s where the confidence comes from, is knowing that I need to do it. I have to sing and play music to be able to really explain what I am feeling… so the confidence comes from a deep relationship I have with music as a tool of communication I guess. If that makes any sense at all. Ha.

AS: You started your set with a cover of The Zutons' "Valerie" (in the spirit of Amy Winehouse's version) and capped it off with a killer rendition of "Use Me," the Bill Withers tune -- perfect bookends for a set of your own soulful songs. What's your "desert island" mix of influential songs?

MM: Oy. "Ain’t No Sunshine" by Bill Withers would have to be pretty high on that list, same with “I’d Rather Go Blind” by Etta James.. Another would be Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah”. “Gravity” by John Mayer and probably “Where the Streets Have No Name” by U2. A pretty eclectic mix.. I am most influenced by music that I feel is so authentic that it could never be recreated as beautifully as the original.

AS: What are you listening to right now? Favorite album of 2017?

MM: Ooof. Tough question. I really really love Anti by Rihanna.. Definitely into all that Tom Misch has put out.. Love the new Kendrick. Love the new Harry Styles… Love Lianne La Havas’ solo album called Blood…. there’s so much.

AS: Any plans for an LP down the road or do you see more momentum in favor of singles and short-form releases?

MM: Honestly, no. Since the EP is 6 songs in total, that’s almost equivalent to the length of a short album. So I am starting out with an amount I feel good about. I plan on releasing a few singles this summer and then probably officially starting a new project up in Fall, and seeing where that leads— but no, no hard plans for a full length.  

AS: Where can folks catch you live in concert next?

MM: I am having an EP release party this weekend, on Friday and I have been focusing a lot of energy on that. I don’t have a lot of shows planned to be honest, because I have been performing so much that I need a break. If anyone wants to go to the EP release party it’ll be a sweet house party set up with drinks and I’ll be playing a full set with my band. Follow me on Instagram to get the address. (mad.may.music)

***

If you can’t catch Madeleine Mayi’s live show, you’re seriously missing out. But you can catch her any time on Facebook and Instagram.

[sandstonesunspear]

Space Dinosaurs

Or alternatively known as: The Antics of Kevin and Hellen

Space Dinosaurs have arrived! Thanks to @nerdsbianhokie and @change-the-rules for all the space dinosaur discourse. Some of this pulls from that. Hope you all enjoy!

-

Kessel took the crowbar and quickly removed the top of the crate. He peered in and blinked.

“Well, Kess?” Jackson pipped up. “What is it? Randorian ale? New weapon’s mods for the Captain to nerd out over?”

Kessel said nothing. He continued to stare inside the box, not quite believe what he was seeing.

“Uh, Kessel?” Kessel’s silence was starting to make everybody nervous.

He finally turned away from the box. “Somebody get the Captain.”

-

Alex walked into the cargo bay. She was a little disgruntled at having been woken up to find the ship not under attack. She had, after all, given specific orders to not be woken unless someone was dying, in need of serious medical attention, Reinhart and Jackson were attempting to bake a cake, or the ship was under attack.

“Alright, I see no smoldering cake and no one appears to be dying, so somebody better have a good reason for waking me up,” she grumbled.

The crew, as one, immediately pointed to Kessel. Alex sighed. Of course it was Kessel. The giant Boloxvian appeared to take no notice of her entrance and was hunched over the crate while…cooing? Alex’s brow furrowed. Okay…no wonder the Jackson had been so alarmed when he’d gone to get her.

She cleared her throat. “Kessel?” He turned away from the box and turned to look at her. “You mind cluing me in here?”

“You have check this out, Cap,” he grunted, motioning for her to join him. Alex gave him a wary look but obliged him nonetheless.

She glanced into the box and blinked. Were those…?

“Are those what I think they are?” she asked.

Kessel shrugged. “Looks like it. I mean, you’ll probably have to run some tests to confirm, but so far I can tell, yeah.”

Alex looked back down into the box. Two tiny figures stared back at her. Dinosaurs. Tiny dinosaurs in space. Honestly, she didn’t know why she was so surprised.

-

“Well?” Reinhart asked eagerly. “Are they really dinosaurs?” Word had spread around the ship that the box contained what appeared to be, by all accounts, a pair of miniature dinosaurs. Granted, prior to today, a good chunk of the crew had no idea what dinosaurs were given that they didn’t exist on other planets, but still. It wasn’t every day that a supposedly extinct animal from a planet 10 light years away showed up on a ship, and in miniature form to boot.

Alex examined the chart that Lyra handed her. Her eyebrows lifted as a grin spread across her face. She nodded.

“According to the tests we’ve run, yeah,” she confirmed. “We now have two dinosaurs to add to the crew manifest.”

Just hearing those words said aloud sounded absurd, but in all honesty, none of them were surprised anymore.

“Captain, what names would you have us add to the manifest?” Zar’ya asked from her station.

Alex raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re asking me?”

Zar’ya shrugged. “You’re the captain. You named the ship,” she pointed out. “Why should you not name our newest crew member?”

That Alex had named the ship DEO to stop Lyra from registering it as Boaty McBoatface shouldn’t have inspired confidence in anybody regarding her ability to properly name things.

Zar’ya gave Alex an expectant look. Alex sighed. She looked at the two tiny dinosaurs, which appeared to be some kind of pterodactyl according to the chart she held in her hands.

“How about Kevin and Hellen?” She asked after several moments.

The Roltocon gave Alex an approving nod. “Very well,” she said. “I’ll made the necessary changes to the roster, Captain.” She moved to the terminal to input the information, leaving Alex to continue to observe her newest crew members.

Alex hummed her acknowledgement.

“Why Kevin and Hellen, Captain?” Lyra asked curiously.

“Kevin just looks like a Kevin,” she said with a shrug. “As for Hellen…well, I have a feeling she’s going to raise Hell.”

A loud yelp came from the bed, drawing their attention. Reinhart was holding their finger, which Hellen has just taken a nip at. Based off the blood that she had drawn, it was obvious that Hellen, and possibly Kevin, had some sharp teeth.

Alex gave Lyra a look. “See what I mean?”

-

DAY 1

“Thangarian balls!” Kessel snarled. Where had his heatsink gone? He’d just put it down.

“You kiss your broodmother with that mouth, Kess?” Lyra asked from her position at one of the benches without taking her eyes from her reports.

“Oh, bite me,” he growled.

He continued to search the area around him, lifting box after box as if they weighed nothing. Given his size and strength, they probably didn’t. He was growing increasingly frustrated with each lifted box revealing nothing. A chirping noise caught his attention. He turned.

There stood Hellen, his heatsink clenched in her jaws. Kessel swallowed nervously. That heatsink of his was heavily modified. It was great for long firefights and siphoned excess heat from his blaster back into the rounds, giving them an extra punch. But there was a reason few people, aside from Alex, wanted to be near him when he was tinkering with his rifle: that extra punch that the heatsink granted also made it incredibly unstable when removed from the rifle. And now, the newest member of the crew was holding in her jaws without a care in the world.

He crouched down, careful to keep his movements slow.

“Hello, Hellen,” he greeted calmly. “Please return my heatsink. Cap’ll be pissed if you ended blew up the cargo bay.” He paused. “Come to think of it, she’ll also be pretty upset if you get blown up too.”

Hellen tilted her head as if contemplating his words. Sweat gathered on Kessel’s forehead with each passing second. Then, Hellen made a muffled chirp, flicked her head, and tossed the highly unstable at him.

Kessel’s heart stopped. The heatsink seemed to fall in slow motion as he lunged. He could hear Hellen chirping away in the background. His managed to get his hands around it but fumbled it. He felt his thump press the indent in the groove. Everything around him seemed to go silent. Ah fuck.

A tiny beep was Kessel’s only warning before the heatsink exploded. He was sent flying and crashed into a bunch of cargo crates. The acrid smell of burning hair told him that he’d just lost his eyebrows. Again.

He lifted his head to see Hellen flying about and Lyra laughing. He clunked his head back on to cold metal floor of the cargo bay. Wonderful.

-

DAY 2

Fenrites were not the deepest of sleepers. How could they be, when Romulus was one giant death trap? With just about everything on the home planet trying to kill them, a Fenrites brain had evolved to be on constant alert. Using the inherent sensory organs within the body, the brain pictures of the surrounding area so that the sleeping Fenrite could be ready to react at a moment’s notice. That also meant it was incredibly hard to take a Fenrite, sleeping or awake, off guard.

So, when Bob woke up, he immediately noticed that something felt…off. His brow furrowed momentarily before that weird sensation ran through him again. His frown deepened. It appeared to be coming from his left ear.

He reached to the left side of his body, figuring that he had just slept on top of another data pad. He was surprised when his hand met a leathery body instead of a data pad. He glanced to his left ever so slightly and was taken aback to see Kevin happily nomming away at his ear. Coming from Romulus, and having lived on Earth, it certainly wasn’t the weirdest sight he’d ever encountered.

Bob sighed. “Remove your teeth from my ear, Kevin,” he ordered firmly.

Kevin continued to chew Bob’s ear.

Bob reached for Kevin once again, only to be met with the tiny dinosaur snapping at his fingers. His ear wasn’t able to enjoy being free from tiny teeth before Kevin returned to chewing it.

Bob sighed again. It was obvious that Kevin had no intention of leaving his ear alone and he was too tired to deal with this shit. Kevin would get bored sooner or later. Whether or not he would still have an ear once Kevin was done chomping on it didn’t really concern Bob. It would grow back, eventually.

Bob closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Kevin kept chewing his ear.

-

DAY 3

The doors to the medbay hissed open.

“The medkits are in the third cabinet to the left,” Zar’ya said, without even looking up from stitching Kessel’s shoulder.

“Thanks, Zar,” Reinhart said. They raided the mentioned cabinet, pulling a battered medkit out.

“Which one got you, kid?” Kessel asked.

“Kevin,” Reinhart replied as they began bandaging their hand. “Apparently, he likes to bite as much as Hellen does.”

Kessel grunted.

“Which one got you?” Reinhart asked.

“Hellen.” He didn’t need to elaborate. The tale had already spread around the ship. His lack of eyebrows had only verified what being told.

Reinhart nodded sympathetically. “She’s a troublemaker,” they remarked.

“Eh, she’s feisty.” A gleam of admiration appeared in Kessel’s eyes. “I like it.”

Zar’ya scoffed and tugged the needle tightly, causing him to wince. “Kessel, we are well aware of your masochistic tendencies,” she said in exasperation. “But please keep them to yourself when I’m the one working on you.”

Kessel chuckled. “You got it.”

The medbay doors hissed open again. In walked Bob, sans his left ear. He took in his injured crewmates and an exasperated Zar’ya.

“Which one got you, Bob?” she asked.

Bob blinked. “Kevin. He likes my ears.”

-

DAY 4

“So, can you tell me why the number of crew members coming into sickbay has tripled in the last four days?” Alex demanded.

Lyra cleared her throat. “Well, it appears as though our original estimations regarding the ages of Kevin and Hellen were slight off, Captain.”

Alex’s brow furrowed. “And what does that have to do with injured personnel?” she asked.

“Developmentally, Kevin and Kellen are in what humans would call their ‘teething stage,” Lyra explained.

Alex stared at her. “You have to be kidding me.”

“I’m afraid not.”

“But they have teeth already!” Alex protested. “Reinhart got bit on day one!”

“The primary teeth have developed. The remain four sets are now coming in,” Lyra said calmly.

“So, everyone who’s been injured these past four days has been injured because Kevin and Hellen are teething?”

“Yes, and they’re using the crew as ‘teething rings.’”

Alex just sighed.

-

DAY 5

The Silohan snarled. “Easy ship, they said,” it grumbled. “No one’ll put up a fight, they said. Creechmate fucking assholes!”

The raid had gone to hell as soon as it and the rest of its creech had stepped foot on the Starship DEO. They had immediately been met with a hail of blaster fire. Declan had fallen to a Boloxvian brute. Emil had been gutted by a Korugarian child! Taxa had been taken out by a Starhaven bitch wielding, of all things, a frying pan! As the leader of the raiding creech, Cinna had done its best to ignore its fallen creechmates and plowed on, only to come face to face with the ship’s captain.

She had chased it across the ship, a look of fury on her face. Her blade, which looked to be made from Akkadian kyber, had reflected every shot Cinna had put out and forced it on the defensive. Cinna hated being on the defensive. It was used to aliens cowering before it and its creech.

Now Cinna was hiding in the cargo bay, praying to its gods for a way off this ship before it fell at the hands of a furious human woman. It could hear the sounds of boots running throughout the corridors accompanied by the occasional shriek as another Silohan was taken down. Cinna snarled with each shriek. Never before had it encountered a ship crewed by so many different aliens that worked so well together. Come to think of it, it had never encountered a ship with a multispecies crew either.

A soft trill caught Cinna’s attention. It looked up to see a tiny alien with wings. Cinna relaxed, lowering its gun at the sight. Obviously, this thing, probably the ship’s pet, was of no threat to it.

Big mistake.

The tiny alien let out a hair-raising shriek. Cinna had no time to react before the alien dove in and bit it in the throat. Cinna flailed as the jaws clamped tighter around its throat. It let out a gurgle as blood bubbled in its throat before everything went black.

-

Alex stepped into the cargo bay, sword drawn. She had heard Hellen’s shriek and had come running. She cautiously moved about, only to come to a stop at the sight of a dead Silohan and a preening Hellen. She stared.

“Did you kill him?” Alex asked.

Hellen trilled happily.

Well, alright then. Alex nodded her approval. “Good job, Hellen.”

-

DAY 6

Zar’ya examine the number of patients before her. While some of them were recovering from the raid carried out by the Silohan creech the day before, most of them were in the sickbay because they were suffering from bite wounds. She sighed.

Alex walked in. In addition to being the ship’s Captain, she was also their Chief Medic. The only reason she wasn’t tending to the wounded was because she’d had to do a final sweep of the ship to make sure that none of the Silohans from the second raiding creech had remained on board.

“How’re the wounded, Zar’ya?”

“Well, they’ll all live,” she replied bluntly.

“I’m sensing a but coming,” Alex remarked dryly.

Zar’ya gave her a look. “But,” she stressed. “Most of the wounded aren’t here because they were wounded during the raids.”

Alex sighed. “Let me guess, they’re the latest batch of those service as Kevin and Hellen’s ‘teething rings?’” Zar’ya could practically hear the air quotes around the words teething rings.

“Indeed. Might I suggest getting, I don’t know, actual teething rings for them instead of letting them use the crew as chew toys?”

“Jackson offered up one of his broken rifles, the one made from duranium,” Alex said. “Kevin snapped it in half with a single bite.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Alex folded her arms and leaned back slightly. “Turns out, they have a bite strength of over two tons, which shouldn’t be all that surprising considering Hellen ripped out the throat of the Silohan creech leader from the first raid.”

Zar’ya frowned. “So, we’re just going to let Kevin and Hellen continue chewing on the crew?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Alex shrugged. “I mean, no one’s dead, aside from the Silohans, so they obviously have the fine control needed to safely chew on the crew.”

For once, Zar’ya couldn’t argue against that logic.

-

DAY 7

Alex face planted on to the bed. It had been a long week. The appearance of Kevin and Hellen had been a welcome reprieve and had lifted the spirits of everyone on board, but then everything else quickly decided to nosedive. Kessel had blown up the cargo bay and singed off his eyebrows, again. Bob was missing an ear and wouldn’t disclose how it had happened. The number of crew members visiting sickbay had dramatically increased because Kevin and Hellen were teething. To top it all off, the DEO had come under attack not once, but twice, by Silohan raiding creechs. Needless to say, this had been the week from hell. Granted, there was no such thing as an easy week given that they were several light years away from Earth, but this week in particular had just sucked.

Zar’ya had noticed how exhausted Alex was and had recommended she get some rest, posting to the crew that they were not to disturb Alex under the threat of being jettisoned out the airlock. Normally, Alex would’ve protested, said she was fine, and gone about her business before walking into a wall. But for once, she chose not to complain. In fact, she was looking getting some uninterrupted shut eye.

She should’ve known better. As soon as her eyes slipped shut, the intercom crackled to life.

“Captain?” Came Reinhart’s uncertain voice.

Alex wrenched her eyes open. “Yes, Reinhart?” she said, working hard to keep her voice from becoming a growl.

“I think we have some trouble in the bridge.”

Alex huffed and swung her legs so that she was sitting up. “You think? You’re going to have to be a lot clearer than that.”

“Uh, well, it’s kind of hard to explain over the comm, Captain,” they stammered.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Alright, hang tight, I’m coming.”

-

Alex stepped into the bridge. She had spent the walk from the Captain’s Quarters to the cockpit preparing for a worst-case scenario. While she hadn’t been met with any alarms or panicking crew members, she was still wary. After all, in space, Murphy’s Law ruled supreme.

That said, she was absolutely unprepared to see the nightshift bridge crew fawning over Kevin and Hellen. Alex stared. Were they actually…? She rubbed her eyes. Yep. Her crew, made up of aliens from numerous species, many of whom had spent time on Earth, were using Kevin and Hellen to recreate a scene from Firefly. From the looks of Kevin and Hellen, they weren’t exactly pleased with this development.

She glanced at Reinhart, who caught her eye and shrugged. Given that they hadn’t been on Earth, it was no surprise that they had no idea what was going on. Alex moved to approach them all, careful to keep her steps light as so not to be noticed.

“…we should call it your grave!” Jackson growled, gently manipulating Hellen.

Hellen let out an indignant squawk at the motion.

“Grah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” Bob countered as he moved Kevin to the side.

Kevin also voice his displeasure.

Alex cleared her throat. “What’s going on here?”

Everyone jumped. They turned as one to look at Alex. She dug her thumb nail into her finger to keep herself from laughing at the expressions on their faces. They all looked like children who had been caught going after the cookie jar.

Jackson was the first to recover. “Uh, Captain, sir!” He saluted, releasing Hellen.

Hellen trilled, happy to no longer be a prop.

Alex raised an eyebrow. Yes, she had worked for a government paramilitary organization that was militaristic in nature and demanded some formality, but that formality had no place on a ship in deep space whose crew was basically family. The only time when she would ask for such a thing was when they were about to go planet side or came upon another ship and hoped to establish diplomatic ties.

Jackson squirmed at her raised eyebrow. It was obvious to him that Alex was awaiting an explanation, which wasn’t a good thing. She was, after all, not exactly the most patient of people.

“We were just, uh…” he tripped over his words.

Bob came to the rescue. “We were helping Kevin and Hellen exercise,” he said quickly. Jackson shot him a thankful look.

Alex look unimpressed by their lying prowess, or lack thereof. And she thought Kara had been a terrible liar.

“Bob, let Kevin go.” He immediately released Kevin.

Kevin let out a happy sounding noise.

Alex held both of her arms out to Kevin and Hellen. The two miniature pterodactyls made their way up her arms and settled themselves on her shoulders.

“Kevin and Hellen will be coming with me,” she said calmly. “From here on out, they are not to be used as props for you all to reenact scenes from Firefly, understood?” The I can’t believe I actually have to tell you all this, went unspoke as she glared at them, daring someone contradict her.

The crew respected Alex enough to not disagree with her. Even if they hadn’t, the sight of Alex Danvers with two pterodactyls perched her shoulders like a pair of parrots would’ve been enough to have them nodding their agreement.

Alex nodded, satisfied. “Glad we all understand each other. Now, I’m going to bed and sleeping for the next eight hours. If things slightly go to hell, grab Kessel and Lyra.”

Another sea of nods answered her.

“Goodnight, everyone.” Alex turned on her heel and exited the bridge with Kevin and Hellen still sitting on her shoulders.

-

Alex only managed to get five hours of sleep before another Silohan raiding creech, not having learned from the previous two raiding creechs, decided to take a stab at the DEO. She was not pleased.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Ranking The Kits From The World Cup From Best To Worst

http://fashion-trendin.com/ranking-the-kits-from-the-world-cup-from-best-to-worst/

Ranking The Kits From The World Cup From Best To Worst

Get set to crack out the gaudy memorabilia and dust down your ear piercing vuvuzela, it’s football World Cup time and boy are we excited for the Sunday afternoons roasting like a suckling pig in the pub garden sun as a dimly lit projector beams Japan versus Senegal onto a garden shed.

This coming World Cup has coincided with a rising interest in football kits, and more specifically classic football shirts from the 1980s and 1990s with retro geometric designs becoming as prevalent to the streetwear crowd as the various teams playing in Russia this summer.

“Classic shirts are great for business-as-usual league games, but this historic sporting event calls for a major dollop of flamboyance,” says Simon Doonan, creative ambassador-at-large of New York City-based clothing store Barneys and author of Saturday Night Fever Pitch: The Magic and Madness of Football Style. “Throwing a player into a tasteful solid shirt in a spiffy color is simply not enough.”

According to Doonan Argentina’s winning vertical blue and white stripes shirt from 1978 is a prime example of a World Cup shirt done right. “Vertical stripes – especially like the historic black and white classic shirts of Newcastle and Juventus – never fail to make players appear invincible, and most important, slender.”

To mark the occasion of this coming World Cup we have decided to rank the kits from the World Cup from best to worst, with Doonan by our side as our resident football shirt pundit.

Belgium

The country that gave us French fries (confusingly) and waffles, much to the chagrin of our waistlines, has now given us quite possibly the most beautiful football shirt in the history of the game. From the elegant royal crest placed bang in the middle to the understated 1980s-influenced geometric pattern and the bold rouge, this is simply majestic. Doonan points out that the emblazoned pattern is very similar to the Scottish argyle diamond, mentioning its place in footballing history: “The Argyle recalls the era – back in the last century – when footballing casuals adopted the argyle pattern as an FU to the golfing upper-classes. It’s fabulous.”

Germany

A clear nod to the kit worn by West Germany on the way to winning their third World Cup in 1990, the legendary backstory (cue epic violin solo) only serves to amplify the greatness of this Adidas design. It doesn’t play too heavily on the 1990s maximalism fortunately with the busy pattern across the chest contrasting superbly with the minimalism down below.

Argentina

Rounding out the top three is another effort by Adidas, which really is the king of the football kit making game. The bold sky blue and white stripes has always been a sweeping fashion statement, and here it’s completed with the Adidas three stripes across the shoulder. Like Belgium, it helps that Argentina have a regal emblem but the classy design is still the real winner here.

France

Nike has chosen to base all its 2018 World Cup kits on their Aeroswift template, but the French shirt stands out from the others because of the inclusion of the single button just underneath the collar which makes it look like a Henley shirt, and not a tube of sausage casing you’re required to squeeze your sweaty body out of after matches.

Russia

Similar to the classic Manchester United kits of the 1980s, this shirt is a testament to Russian modesty but all the better for the white lines bolting across the sleeves like Putin riding bareback through Siberian hinterland. The red also has a juicy vibrancy about it – a worthy kit to play in for the hosts of the tournament.

Mexico

Like the 8-bit version of that vase/two people kissing conundrum, the side panels on Mexico’s strip add to the retro look rather than distract. The deep green reminds us of Christmas (or maybe the Mexican flag – funny that) while the white accents, especially the thin trim around the collar, serve to clean up what is a very tidy kit.

Colombia

Adidas – you’re killing us at the moment. There’s something quite David Bowie in the dynamic blue and red zig-zags down the side, while the wrap over collar is a nice little retro touch that doesn’t overshadow the discombobulating shade of yellow. “The Aladdin Sane glam-rock lightening bolts appear to be erupting from the players armpits,” says Doonan. “What better way to intimidate your opponent than by suggesting that your lymph nodes have special powers?”

Croatia

The Croatian football strip has always caused consternation – whether it’s a checkmate all depends on your love of picnic blankets. Regardless, Doonan is a fan: “The checkered pattern is bold and memorable while the away colour combo – grey and black – recalls the Louis Vuitton ‘Daumier’ pattern.”

Portugal

A fairly simple design, the jagged icicles on the French shirt are copied here but you’d need a magnifying glass to spot them. So while the main attraction of this Nike template is hiding in plain sight, all we have to admire are the colours. Good thing they’re pretty ones, with a brusque red as rich as port and the surprising pulling off of red and green which we only thought carol singers could rock.

Brazil

Yes, it’s another lazy kit design from Nike who seem to be focusing on the performance qualities of their football shirts as opposed to how they look, but the Brazil colours really don’t need much interference. Utilising the colours of the scorching sand and the tropical palm trees – nothing symbolises the samba boys better.

Japan

The more we squint at this shirt the more it starts to resemble a birds eye view of the M25, but it’s still a stylish design that we could imagine working with a bit of athleisure. (Apparently it’s meant to resemble an ancient Japanese stitching technique called Sashiko.) Whatever it is, it contrasts well with the plain blue sleeves and the little red accents around the collar.

Australia

Australia is a wild country filled with humongous creepy crawlies and cans of lukewarm Fosters, and yet now the most wild thing in the whole nation are those green veins popping out of this shirt’s sleeves. Shockingly it works, mainly because the green is a deep, luxurious hue and gold is such a winning colour.

Egypt

A little simple, granted, but red and black is a killer pairing in all walks of fashion. The trim also extends beyond the collar and onto the hem of the sleeves which is a step further than some other snore-fest showings at the tournament.

Denmark

X marks the sport for the Danish in this World Cup. Despite resembling a team shirt for Wolverine and co. there’s enough to love in this shirt from the contrasting raglan sleeves, to the arrows sloping down the shoulder which makes a change from the Adidas three stripes smothered across most of the other shirts in the competition.

England

As a nation England has become used to underwhelming performances at international football tournaments, so it is only fitting that our disappointing form is echoed in the football kit. It’s not bad, just unnervingly safe. The only embellishment is a thin red line around the collar, which some might call minimalist, but is so boringly fine it should come with its own PG rating.

Senegal

It’s a bold move to just slam a massive lion right in the middle of your kit, and the Senegalese kit has a Versace feel in all those intricate spirals and squiggles. Also, green and white are a beautiful pairing, but maybe the green could have been a little darker? Just a suggestion for next time, Puma.

Poland

Look we like grey when its bold and knows what it wants to be. But all this faded grey on white shirts just makes it look like it needs another run in the washing machine. Having said that, the red trim on the collar is dynamic and punchy, and Poland has a powerful emblem that helps the shirt stand out.

Switzerland

Switzerland – makers of great watches; football kits, not so much. “Loving the wood-grainy squiggles,” says Doonan. “But what is with the strange faded band across the upper chest. This odd design decision makes it look like every player is wearing a darker red bustier top.” A great look for in the bedroom; on the football pitch, not so much.

Iceland

Why has Iceland skinned a snake and wrapped it around what is meant to be a football shirt sleeve. They’ve not even cleaned it, preferring to leave the blood splatters dribbling down onto the grassy field, like a threatening viking warrior bellowing “remember the Euros” at Harry Kane dressed as St George. The rest of the kit is a nice shade of icy blue though.

Peru

“I love Peru, the country,” admits Doonan. “My husband, the designer Jonathan Adler, gets lots of his pots and pillows fabricated there. So it pains me greatly to throw shade at the Peruvian shirt. The problem is that diagonal stripe is very treacherous. You think it’s going to add the gravitas of an ambassadorial sash, but all its does is exaggerate the area below the stripe and – horror of horrors – create the illusion of a beer belly.”

Panama

This will be the first World Cup for Panama, but unfortunately they’ll be entering the tournament in a kit that looks like it is covered in Lego bricks. It doesn’t even cover the whole shirt, with a bare patched V-shape circumventing the midriff. The neck saves the day somewhat with a shape similar to a Grandad collar.

Sweden

Sweden has foolishly left its football shirt on the Ikea griddle for too long and the grooves have left unsightly diagonal marks up and down their kit. If you’re going to do stripes just do them, none of this messing around with borderline translucent lines. The colour is also treading a fine day-glo line and making us feel a little queasy for it.

Spain

Oh dear, arguably one of the best teams in the tournament goes in to the World Cup in one of the worst kits. “Call me obsessive compulsive, but I will never be able to come to terms with the fact that the ziggy zaggy folkloric design motif only adorns one side of the body,” says Doonan. “Remember – symmetry, symmetry, symmetry.”

Costa Rica

This kit looks like a child has gone to town with a protractor and compass on your nice new rug. To make matters worse there seems to be faint vertical stripes running up the shirt like an enraged maths teacher reversing over road kill. It’s a nice rounded collar though.

Tunisia

Very similar to the Eygpt kit in the contrasting trim on the sleeves and collar, but white is too plain a colour for you to play it safe and classic. There’s also a strange dotty zig zag down the side panels, which has absolutely no idea what it’s doing or what it wants to be – kind of like us before our Monday morning coffee.

Uruguay

We understand that maximalism is coming back into sport kit design (and back out the other side if you look at the England strip) but the supposed sun on this kit doesn’t even look like the one on the Uruguayan flag, or the one in the sky for that matter. In fashion terms, the V-neck is also out after a brief return last year so we can’t even applaud that. A poor showing from the South Americans.