#grey consent

[leescheyenne]

Guildford + Consent

[hoplittlecrocodile1]

I love them, your honour! They must both be very careful 🫠

[wallflowers-in-the-wind]

Rhysand: You will always have a choice with me Feyre. Except when the universe makes you my mate, bodily autonomy over what clothes you wear, when I allow you to go home, how you handle trauma, when you can go into battle, when you’re sisters (specifically Nesta) are allowed around you, when you are pregnant, anything to do with your pregnancy, what friends I deem appropriate, or the ability to have any secrets what so ever because mind reading!

Feyre: Ummm…

Rhysand: There may be more I’ll decide later in our relationship lol

[hotticuslincoln]

What are we pointing at? Oh, the facts. We'll put them on the screen later.

[oddlittlestories]

Okay re Stacy - this is such an interesting case study of morality in the show.

Yes, she violated House’s bodily autonomy.

At the same time, it was pretty clear House was going to die if she didn’t.

Whatever your opinion on her choice, this is one of the fascinating moral points of the show. Although she couldn’t have known the full fallout of her decision, she made a choice that she knew he would see as betrayal. She did this a fully rational actor who decided she was okay with him hating her as long as he lived through it. It was an intense time, and maybe if she’d tried to talk him through it, he’d have found a way to pursue his own harsh ideas regardless. Maybe he’d have died while they were still discussing.

She saved his life. She violated his consent.

Was it right? If you say no, then you’re arguing that people have no right to intervene with suicidality - and in this case, suicidality mixed up in internalized ableism (I would rather die than be disabled). If you say yes, then you’re advocating for violations of consent (it’s okay not to talk to someone, not to try to make them see, not to at least inform them that you recognize they’re in no state to make their own decisions).

One amazing part of House is how often the show explores areas of grey morality, and I think this is a prime example. If it makes you feel a little icky to consider all the different angles of it - and by contrast, of the implied unrelated circumstances? I think that happens sometimes when things aren’t bright and clear.

If she had talked him through it, then we don’t have a conversation about right and wrong anymore. We don’t have to grapple with it as an audience.

But it’s interesting to consider, isn’t it? What do you do in an impossible situation?

[yeahkann]

I’m sorry but I hate the way Grant Morrison handles Jean's trauma in the Scemma affair

I find it so strange that he made Emma dress up in the Dark Phoenix costume to have sex with Scott when Dark Phoenix was a trauma response to the abuse Jean faced in the Dark Phoenix Saga. Jean was mentally and sexually abused (with Emma playing a role in that abuse), So using it for sexual gratification feels incredibly disrespectful.

This also pissed me off: "She wore a corset for everyone else, but with me, it's sensible shoes and turtlenecks." She wore that stuff against her will. You were literally there you asshole you should know that!

[anotthatblkraven]

If a girl says “yes” because you are pressuring her or trying to convince her, it is not consent, simple as that.

[wildpeachfarm]

I'm so conflicted. Don't think he meant to hurt her at all. But idk.

What do you think

I genuinely think he thought it was a perfectly normal interaction and then got blindsided by these accusations. While I do think he put himself on a clear defensive, I also understand because he was under the impression that no one felt upset or uncomfortable in the moment. It's clear in the amount of times he references her body language that I think if he genuinely felt like something was off, he would've stopped and asked her about it.

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH ��

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

[endless-nightshift]

For me a big part of accepting my Aromanticism was realising that I don't view kissing as inherently romantic.

Like I probably wouldn't kiss a stranger but if a friend asked to kiss me platonicily I'd probably say yes.

[girl4music]

Something else I want to note about Willow and Tara’s confrontation in ‘Tabula Rasa’ is that Tara tells Willow - rightly so - that what Willow did to her was akin to what Glory did to her as far as violation levels go. Accurate somewhat because the emotional and/or mental state is still being altered and therefore mental and bodily autonomy is taken away with both.

But I would rather say (and this is why it’s so bloody horrific for me) that what Willow did to her was actually more akin to what Tara’s “family” did to her. See - Tara’s father made up a lie based on a family legend of the women in their family being witches that Tara was part-demon or would turn part-demon at the turn of 20 years old. He says that the magic Tara has or can do is rooted in that fact. It obviously was a form of gaslighting to try to convince Tara that she was or would be an evil demon because it wasn’t the reality and wouldn’t be. Tara spent her whole life up until the climax of the episode ‘Family’ believing that she was something other than human and something more than just a witch (which isn’t necessarily non-human). Glory never attempts to gaslight Tara to believe anything. The act of “brain-sucking” her gives her the gaslighting effect anyway because Tara was made to believe that she was bad for feeling the way she does. Which - at that point - was crazy, i.e. mentally ill. Not able to distinguish between what was reality and imaginary or at least could no longer really understand the difference as if she was a 2 year old. But the intention in itself was not to gaslight. It was just to harm psychologically because Glory is an actual evil demoness. That of which Tara was terrified of not just because Glory is able to brain-suck people, but also because she represents something Tara has spent practically her whole life believing she would be.

See Tara is so terrified of and is effected the way she is by Glory brain-sucking her because she’s already essentially lived what that would do to her emotionally. Cut her off from the relative safety and security of being aware of herself and her abilities. This is what her “family” originally did to her. Gaslight her into thinking she wasn’t what or who she really was. First of all, human. Second of all, a witch. And what Willow does in making Tara forget their fights about her using too much magic by using magic… is essentially gaslighting Tara to believe they’re all good. That nothing bad is happening between them. That there is no conflict, no issues to sort out, no worries, and certainly no abuse - either of her or of magic. In Willow’s head, she considers a magic mind-trip a fix for their relationship breaking down over their unresolved differences. A reconciliation in a sense. Even though Tara has not come to that decision on her own. Even though Tara is not aware that there needs to be one. It’s not stated but Tara is essentially mentally forced to believe that everything is completely a-okay. They’re happy, they’re in love, they’re on equal terms. In what we see as Willow erasing Tara’s memories of one fight actually has much more serious implications because there is emotional stimulus being altered and mental and bodily autonomy being disregarded or taken away.

Essentially, Tara is experiencing the Glory situation and the ‘Family’ situation all at the same time. Tara is lied to about her relationship status with Willow not by Willow simply telling her it’s all good. But by Willow mentally forcing Tara to believe that it is through mental inebriation. And this all occurs simply by saying the word “forget” and waving her hand over a bramble flower. Most, if not all, of the following chaos for the couple are the consequences to just enacting a memory erasure spell one time - of that we know of because it’s not just about missing a memory. It’s about altering the mentality and emotions of the individual that has already made it pretty damn clear what they think and how they feel about a conflict that you have obstructed that individual from accessing.

I know I go on and on about this situation and you’re all probably like “Geez change your tune already. It’s not like Willow is the only one that uses magic to get her way”… It’s true. She’s not. But there’s a distinct difference in that the others that do only do it the once and never attempt anything like it again OR are bad guys - who you would expect it from anyway. We are lumping in Jonathan and Amy and Faith in predominantly the “bad guy” category right? I know they’re also several shades of morally grey as well but for the most part - they’re bad people doing bad things. They’re not our main protagonists/heroes like Buffy and Willow and Xander and Giles is. They’re not necessarily expected to have any character development as far as differences in morality although they all do - which again, makes the BUFFYVERSE leagues better than most TV shows of the current visual art/entertainment paradigm which don’t give recurring characters much development, if any at all.

Willow is, for the most part, someone you would expect to grow in morality the more you see her, the more you interact and engage with her on the screen. Someone you would expect would learn from their mistakes and would have some awareness of their flaws enough to make changes. Someone who would possess emotional maturity and intelligence as well as the vast academic and mental intelligence she starts off with. There is much more cause for concern with her than there ever is for the recurring characters. Especially when it seems that the people Willow hurts the most are the people that she claims to love the most and she doesn’t have a “soulless” excuse for it. And don’t get me wrong - I love talking about all of this and debating and deconstructing her very compelling character arc. But at the same time it is very concerning and I do wonder how she even stayed alive in the end because aside from written plot armor, she was primed for death as potentially the one core Scooby that would never make endgame. It was either going to be her or Xander but for opposite reasons.

[unsister]

gonna attempt a meta on grey's soul stitching abilities but i am going to be real with y'all the book leaves the intricacies of the process extremely vague. the horror of it is really less about the logistics of the act and more about the weight of it. the fact she is quite literally ripping a soul from its body; cutting the skin away, destroying whatever remains of the host, and then stitching it back around her decaying self. the mo from there is taking total control which is a standard parasite situation where the host's health and influence wanes as grey's roots dig further in.

[hearts-hunger]

these bookstagram reels giving some over the top bit of dialogue from some horny woman’s attempt at writing 50 shades make me want to tear my hair out genuinely

[lunareiitic]

Oh, with the official reveal of Aventurine, how long until the people who said rage-bait like "If you like Topaz I hope your boss exploits you" and "if you liked the Topaz plot you support irl genocides happening" (yes. both real takes I saw on this hellsite) are going to pivot to thirsting over Aventurine completely, without shame?

[xxlordalexanderxx]

Alexander, has there ever been anyone who made you feel small?

"No, I have friends who are at least 200ft tall, another who is 30ft. Size doesn't mean anything to me."

[haltiamieli]

tell me about sea daddy au

congratulations for picking out the thirstiest and nastiest kink fic i had on the list lmao :'D

this au came to be when i read marco/ace pwp fic that had ace call marco his sea daddy, and i was like yes. but also no. and most importantly, i could do this but better (= as in more to my tastes). what you have to know is that daddy kink is something i have very particular opinions on, and the average writer does it in a way that doesn't do it for me.

i never got very far into writing this, but the core idea was that for whatever fucking reason undefined by me, it is traditional that young crew members have a sea daddy assigned to them to look after them and instruct them in the ways of sex and/or relationships. it was an elaborate kink society set up type thing with many rules about what sort of things you should do and with who and how to ask for stuff and what sort of variations there are between specific crews and how the culture evolves and what expectations are just expectations and so on.

it was also about ace opening up emotionally for the first time, and about marco being a ruthless bastard who is just super fucking reliable, about consent and boundaries, trust and arousal, and feelings of insecurity and safety about sexual attraction. and some tiny daddy kink, but really this was the "daddy kink fic where ace hates daddy kink and instead has daddy issues"