#growing up with rebel pride everywhere

[usagikei]

꒰ა  YANDERE HEADCANONS with donquixote doflamingo. [n.sfw]

CONTAINS... fem!reader, abusive relationships, mind break, noncon, manipulation, somewhat graphic gore, typical doffy things, et cetera. A/N... i do not condone any of these things in real life. this was so self-indulgent that it's kind of humiliating. i'll most likely end up making a part 2 regardless of how well this post does. ♡

♡ Doflamingo is a man who will get what he wants, even if it means playing the long game. He's had his eyes on you for longer than you can comprehend, and every little occurrence in your life from then on was all a perfectly constructed ploy to have you all to himself. Getting laid off from your job? He bribed your manager. Nearly getting mugged in an alleyway? He hired the thieves. Your landlord kicking you out of the house? He threatened the landlord to do so.

♡ He plays with you like that for a while; all from the distance, enjoying your reactions to your life slowly going downhill. Then, after a year or two of terrorizing you, he gets bored of it soon enough, and finally decides to take real action to make you his.

♡ It's only natural he strikes when you're at your lowest. You can't seem to find work, you've nearly used up all your savings just trying to survive, and there's only so much begging you can do on the streets before your pride tries to fight back. However... just when you think you're finally done for, starving, trembling from the cold, and curled up in an alleyway, a shadow looms over you—and the first thing you see is a malicious grin.

♡ Doffy strikes a deal with you: work under him and he'll cover your food expenses, living expenses, and even throw in a little extra if you ever wanted to treat yourself. It almost sounds too good to be true at first, but that's exactly what Doflamingo's trying to go for. He knows you have no other option but to accept or die from starvation outdoors; his evil grin only grows impossibly wider when you accept his conditions, head hung low out of shame. You were coming with him either way—being submissive was the best choice, however.

♡ But don't get it twisted. You're not joining the family. You're his and his only. He'll either have you reside in his own personal quarters or a room right next to his, and brings you everywhere he goes even with force. You'll be on his lap or by his feet during meals, meetings, any time. He won't put shackles on you or anything; he trusts that you know what will happen if you dare disobey him or act out.

♡ In fact, any attempts at rebelling against him will end absolutely horribly. While he does enjoy someone who fights back here and now to make things fun, it does get irritating after a while. Doflamingo won't hesitate to do the unthinkable to you, even if he does love you; you stopped any attempts at rebelling against him when he used his devil fruit ability to force you to cut his name onto your body until you were sobbing from the pain and pleading for forgiveness.

♡ "After all I've done for you... I graciously took you in when you had no money, no food, no shelter, yet this is the thanks I get? You have no idea where you'd be without me, don't you? Most likely dead in a ditch or sold off to the slave market for a cheap price. Love, I think you should know your place."

♡ Doflamingo won't hesitate to make a statement to anyone else that tries to mess with you, either. Messing with his property was akin to asking for a death wish. Although, he's rather forgiving when it comes to his family—in fact, he finds it amusing when you're blushing in shame as Trebol and Diamante hurl the most vilest words you've ever heard in your life at you. (...he'll even let the two of them have a go at you if he's in the mood to watch you suffer.)

♡ When it comes to sex, he'll expect you to satisfy him whenever and wherever he wants to, completely oblivious to your own needs. Sorting through important documents or discussing certain things with the executives? He'll have you warming his cock with your mouth or your cunt, paying no mind to your embarrassment or to the other's prying eyes. Taking a bath? He'll have you cleaning him with your mouth. Any time, anywhere. Or else.

♡ He doesn't do soft and gentle. Doflamingo will have you crying, bruised, begging and sometimes bleeding by the time he's done with you. Even if you can't handle his cock in you (I mean, come on, he's 10 feet tall for fuck's sake) he'll find a way to shove himself deep in your cunt even if it means hurting you. He'll alternate between derogatory language and praises, trying to take in any reaction he'll get from you in such a sensitive, naked state.

♡ "Look at you, taking in all of me. Did your pretty little cunt miss my cock that much, love? Or have you finally ended up accepting your role as mine, as my whore?"

♡ Expect a lot of kinky shit from him; he'll have you calling him names like Sir, licking his boots, all tied up for him to touch, et cetera... He adores making you feel like you're beneath him, that the two of you are as different as heaven and the earth itself. Sometimes, he'll even share you with his own clone string to see you all fucked up from him and only him.

♡ "Did you think it was over already, dear? Oh, no, trust me, it's only just beginning. I'll have you fucked so hard you'd wish you were dead by the time I'm done with you. Too bad I wouldn't even let you die if you begged me to kill you, huh, darling?"

♡ While he is a yandere, he doesn't... really show his love for you in a typical manner. To him, he's satisfied with showing his love through sex even if forced and spoiling you with gifts after physically and sexually torturing you for hours ends. He doesn't really care if you don't return his feelings for you, because you both already know what'll happen to you if you dare try to reject his advances.

♡ However, in the case where you do finally break and give in to Doffy's unpractical form of love... Oh, dear, you're in for a ride of a lifetime with this cunning, cruel bastard of a man.

—- by cheri usagikei. 2023.

[spoonyruncible]

I genuinely do think of myself as a very chill unbothered person, and that’s at least mostly true but I get deeply frustrated when I see people failing to grasp simple concepts and then dismissing those concepts as ‘stupid’ instead of maybe trying even one percent harder.

Since it’s June one I’ve seen a lot is either willful misunderstanding of Pride or an outright refusal to accept that a word can contain nuance and multiple definitions. “What have they got to be proud about? They didn’t do anything.” I’ve seen the same complete nonsense said about every pride movement, disability pride, black pride, AAPI pride. And the absolutely lukewarm takes I’ve seen are so stomach-churningly shitty that I have the common sense to just disengage and walk away and complain on my own blog.

My least favorite take is “Well, they just want to feel special.” Ah, yes, feeling special, the very reason that motivates me every morning to wake up. I feel so special I’m estranged from my family. Countless frightened people have confessed their truth to loved ones and heard exactly that, “You just want to be special. You want to make everything about you.” I was fortunate enough to hear, “For fucks sake, we know you’re autistic but can you stop telling people?”

The reality of it is so simple, so easy, that it’s bizarre this keeps needing to be said. Pride doesn’t mean the the immutable nature of your body, your history, or at times your very soul is an accomplishment in and of itself, it means that you’re not ashamed even though other people say you ought to be. Like, I could explain this to a small child with zero difficulty. Good Lord, I grew up hearing “Rebel Pride” from people living in Kentucky which was a Union state. If anyone anywhere just ‘wants to feel special’ it’s Kentuckians with uglyass Confederate battle flags.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

can you write something where maybe steve and yn are attending one of daisy's math competitions and maybe someone is mean to her and her boyfriend defends her and then steve finally sorta gives in and sees that maybe her boyfriend isnt as bad as he thought?

pairing:steve kemp x dark!reader

warnings: 18+ (under 18 year olds do NOT interact/reader)

part of toxic

Steve used to think that life was easy with seven kids and it truly was until half those children grew into teenagers. In his defense, his first born had done such a perfect job of being the perfect child that he wasn't expecting it when the remaining of his children started to rebel - specially Ivy.

     - Ivy, we are all gonna support your sister. We discussed this! - he followed after the fourteen year old back to her bedroom where she was still wearing her pyjamas. 

     - You go, you’re her dad. - she rolled her eyes. - I don’t want the school to see me support the Math Geek. 

     - I don’t care, I’m your father and I’ve decided the whole family is going. 

     - Her boyfriend is gonna be there, dad. He’s a knucklehead and he’s gonna sit next to us so he can ogle the Math Geek. 

     - Stop calling your sister the Math Geek. Be in the mini van or I swear to God Ivy, no space camp for you. 

     - GOD! You’re so annoying. 

     - That’s right. 

He went downstairs, victorious he outwitted a child which couldn’t be more similar to him if she tried. Of course the whole family was gonna go support Daisy. He was so proud of her, she’d been accepted to Pre-Med at his Alma Mater pretty much as soon as she applied, she was class valedictorian and now she was competing in her very last Math Leagues. Steve couldn’t be prouder to be her father and he’d be damned if the whole family wasn’t there - even if her shit faced boyfriend was there as well. 

Steve did not like Billy the moment he heard his name. He had to admit he’d been happy Daisy had told them and not dated in secret - but he wasn’t particularly happy. She was 17 and Y/N had warned him that Daisy one day would start dating. He just thought it would’ve been when she was in college - but no, now the annoying kid with a birds’ nest for hair was having dinner with them every Friday. He didn’t have to like him, he was dating his little girl. 

    - Steve. - Y/N put her hand on his shoulder just as they were about to enter the auditory, her other hand holding the baby comfort where Aaron was asleep, thankfully. - Play nice, please. 

    - Of course, love. I’ll play nice. 

    - I mean it, Steve. You say anything rude or you try anything funny and I swear you won’t see me naked until she graduates college. Are we clear?

    - I love it when you’re bossy and threatening. - he leaned down to kiss her before leading the kids to her seat. His good mood was interrupted as he saw Billy approach them, sitting next to Y/N.

    - Hello, Dr. Kemp. - he smiled at his wife. He knew his brain shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he was flirting with his wife, because he definitely wasn’t. - Other Dr. Kemp. 

    - Hi William. - he rolled his eyes. - Can you please sit down so I could see my kid? Thank you. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, focusing on the stage at the Math league begun. As per usual, their girl made them proud, answering each question with ease - that typical giddy smile not leaving her face. That giddy smile always made him nostalgic, it hadn’t changed one bit since she was a baby. It soon came to an end and that sense of pride was mixed with bittersweetness - the bitter part of this being her last Math league, of him not driving her to band practice or extra classes every day. She was growing up and he was now realising how empty the house was gonna be once she left. 

    - Rosie, can you watch over Aaron while me and mum go congratulate your sister backstage?

    - Sure. Come here, peanut. - Rosie picked up Aaron, cooing at him while Y/N and Steve went backstage.

There were people everywhere - he guessed the school was really into school spirit and after winning yet another championship, they should be proud. As per usual, the two split to find their daughter in the middle of the crowd. Y/N moved to one side while Steve moved to the other; yet as he found her - he wished he hadn’t. 

    - You guys should totally come to my party tonight. - one of the guys loudly announced. 

    - I don’t know. - he recognised his daughter’s shy tone. - My mum and dad always take me out to celebrate. 

    - Wasn’t talking to you, Math Freak.

The boy almost spat those words in her face and that wide smile she had been sporting turned into an apologetic one as she pulled on the hem of her varsity jacket. Steve’s blood boiled - he was gonna give that little prick a piece of his mind. Yet before he could even get closer to them, her boyfriend grabbed the boy by the collar, punching him in the stomach harder enough to drain the boy’s face of any colour. He fell to the ground, pathetically. 

    - Apologise!

    - Sorry, Daisy. 

    - That’s better, now scram. 

The boy couldn’t have gotten away faster and perhaps it’s better that he did before Steve got his hands on him. He approached his daughter and that smile was back again. 

    - You did so good, Daisy love. - he wrapped her arms around her. - I’m so proud of you.

    - Did you watch it?

    - Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it for the world. My little genius. 

    - Dad ... - she rolled her eyes, playfully. 

    - Alright, alright. My very grown up genius, just like dad. 

    - Should we go find mum? Go get some dinner?

    - Uh ... - he couldn’t believe he was actually considering this. He should be going inside. - Daise, do you wanna go have dinner with Billy instead?

    - No, dad, it’s okay. I wanna ...

    - I don’t mind if you want to have lunch with your boyfriend. - he did mind but that’s not what mattered at the moment. - Besides, you can always have dinner with me and mum ... you can bring the shit hair if you want. 

    - Dad!

    - Okay, okay. Go find your mum and let her know okay. 

She nodded her head, putting herself on her tiptoes to kiss her dad’s cheek before running to find her mum. 

    - William. - he called out. - Next time punch him in the face.

    - Yes, Dr. Kemp.

    - And take her to a nice restaurant. - he pulled out some money from his wallet handing it to the kid. - She’s home at 5PM. Are we clear?

    - Yes, sir, Dr. Kemp. 

    - Good. 

He went after to find his girlfriend while Steve sighed. He guessed he had to start understanding that no matter how much he wanted it not to happen, his daughter was gonna grow up. He shrugged to himself, moving to find his wife who once he did, gave her a funny look. 

    - Daisy and Billy are going out for lunch. Apparently your suggestion?

    - You said play nice. 

    - Wanna explain why? 

    - You know our kids. Rose doesn’t really want a boyfriend and I think every single living breathing thing is attracted to the triplets. William looks like me so that’s a plus for him but Daisy ... she’s always been too grown for her own good. She’s done really well but she ... well, Y/N, she never had any sleepovers or was invited to many dinners so I suppose ... I suppose she deserves to be with a guy that likes her. I’d rather it be that shit head than anyone else, I guess.

    - Steve Kemp. - she smirked. - How about we leave the kids with their grandparents for a while?

    - I told Daisy to be home by 5PM so we can all go to dinner. 

    - It’s 11AM, Steve. - she walked closer to him, her lips almost touching his ear as she whispered. - You have until 5PM to do whatever you want to do with me. 

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

Shower Friends (Miya Atsumu x F!reader)

The dorm you live in has co-ed bathrooms. Why that’s remotely a good idea is beyond you; and recently, your precious shower time is being interrupted by a certain blonde haired setter for the volleyball team. When he lies to his teammates that he has a girlfriend, somehow you get roped into his scheme.

genre(s): college!au, fake dating, angst, fluff, mutual pining, enemies to lovers (kinda), eventual smut (maybe)  words: 3.5k

a/n: ah the sweet sweet smell of mutual pining. also 3 more chapters are planned, not written yet though bc i just decided i’d be writing them lmao. hopefully can get started on that this weekend and post them next week 🤗

taglist:  @apollochjld @kurosarium @vicassa @carbs-need-more-love @underratedmage @idek-at-thispoint @wtfeverbrandi @food8me @yikes-buddy @ntimacy @nyxiie @oikawasbooty @chocolate3010 @sugawarabby @greenyiplier @kritiiiii @tokyosdawn @youstydiaa @h3llok1ttygirl 

one | two 

Chapter Three

“You want me to help you with what?” You ask, a bit stunned when he showed up at the door, a terribly annoying but also cute pleading expression on his face.

He groans, his shoulders hunching forward in exasperation. “Ya really gunna make me repeat it?”

You peer closer at the top of his head and see that he’s being serious. The roots of his hair growing in are a dark brown and it had never even occurred to you that he dyes his hair the blonde color you’re so used to. “No, but why do you need my help?”

This is so embarrassing. Normally his roommate or a teammate can help him but none of them are available today and he’s already let the roots grow longer than he likes. But when one of them suggested you help him out instead, something inside him rebelled. For some reason, the thought of having you dye his hair for him made him uncomfortable, like he’s showing you an intimate part of him. This hair has been a part of him so long he can’t remember the last time he’d let it grow out.

“I can’t see if I got everything,” he admits. It took a lot of pacing around his room and staring at his roots for him to get up the courage to come over here to ask you. He can’t really explain why he was so against it, especially since you don’t seem to mind after you got over the initial shock of realizing this isn’t his natural hair.

A wave of relief washes over him when you sigh, conceding, “Alright. Just let me change into something I can get bleach on. I’ll meet you at your dorm.”

While he waits for you, he busies himself with mixing the dye together so it’s ready for you, and when you arrive in a t-shirt and shorts with paint splatters all over them, he mentally kicks himself for thinking about how even wearing something so simple you still look better than anyone he’s ever seen. Crossing your arms, you motion for him to take a seat at his desk. Before he does so, he reaches behind his neck to grab at the collar of his shirt and pull it over his head.

You stand there dumbfounded for a moment, it taking you a second to process that he’s now standing before you shirtless and you’re free to ogle his muscular chest and arms to your hearts content. He doesn’t pay any attention to you, knowing if he meets your gaze, he won’t be able to stop the heat threatening to crawl up his neck. Instead, he wraps a towel around his waist to protect his shorts and sits in the chair to wait for you.  

Except now, you have free reign to stare at his back, which is just as defined as the front of him and you need a few more seconds to reel your thoughts back.

“Whaddya waitin’ for darling?” He drawls, throwing you a glance over his shoulder, not expecting you to be standing there frozen, eyes pinned to his now bare chest.

He opens his mouth to tease you further, but your eyes snap to his and you practically shout, “Do you have another towel?” He just cocks a brow and then points to his closet where another towel is hanging on a hook. Snatching it, you return to him and drape it over his shoulders, hiding most of his annoyingly toned body. “Don’t want to get any bleach on your skin,” you explain, no way in hell ever admitting to him that you’re finding it hard to focus with him on display like that.

Absentmindedly, he hands you one of the clips he bought a long time ago, one that’s almost completely bleached itself and you start running your fingers through his hair to section it. He closes his eyes, focusing intently on the soothing sensation of your fingers on his scalp, doing his best not to groan out loud at how good it feels. With anyone else, this isn’t anything special, normally he sits as patiently as he can whilst trying not to annoy whoever is doing his hair (lest they decide to ‘mess up’ as punishment). But with you, it’s a different feeling entirely.

It's jarringly intimate as you clip his hair back and reach over him to grab the plastic gloves that came with the dye. Lathering up the applicator brush, you start slathering it onto his hair, trying your hardest to make sure it’s evenly distributed and surrounding each strand. As you do so, you ask, “How long have you been doing this?”

He resists the urge to shrug, not wanting to jostle you, replying, “Osamu and I started in middle school.”

“Osamu dyes his hair too?”

“Yeah, he goes for gray. But I’d heard blondes have more fun so—here we are.”

He grits his teeth as your fingers skim over his scalp, glad for the towel you wrapped around him to hide the goosebumps skittering along his bare skin.

“Let me guess,” you muse. “You guys did it because people couldn’t tell you apart?”

“That,” he laughs, “And we thought it would look cool. The first time we did it, it looked like shit.”

Your answering laugh warms his heart as you unclip a section of hair and keep working. “I can’t imagine your mom being too happy about it.”

“Livid. We got bleach everywhere.”

You laugh, continuing to move through his hair methodically. It doesn’t take very long as you’re just dying his roots and they weren’t that bad to begin with, contrary to what Atsumu thinks. When you finish, he gives you a sheepish look and has to swallow his pride to ask you to help him wash it out. Every time he’s tried to do it himself, he always ends up leaving a huge chunk of bleach somewhere.

You oblige, following him to the bathroom, not bothering to care about the looks you get along the way. If they want to stare at a shirtless Atsumu and then glare at you for having that all to yourself, that’s their prerogative. It does wonders for your confidence, regardless that all of this is a ruse.

Luckily, the bathroom is empty and Atsumu dutifully bends over the sink to let you start washing the dye out of his hair. He’s immensely grateful his eyes are shut, and his face is shoved into the sink to hide his flushed cheeks as he thoroughly enjoys your fingers running through his hair. The sensation of your fingernails lightly scraping over his scalp makes him ball his fists as he has to bite his lip to keep from making any sounds.

You’re unbothered, until you notice the towel has slipped from his shoulders and with the way he’s bracing himself against the counter every muscle in his back and arms is on display for you to see. It’s an effort to continue your task as if nothing is wrong and force yourself to look off into the distance instead of eyeing him up.

It’s no easy feat. Especially when you finish and he rises, scrubbing at his face with the discarded towel before moving on to his hair. You press your lips into a firm line and let yourself indulge just a little bit looking at the way his muscles flex with the movement, droplets from his damp hair trailing down the planes of his chest towards the waistband of his shorts and—your attention is broken at the sound of him chuckling and you snap your gaze to his.

You find him staring at you with mischief sparkling in his eyes, so you speak before he can tease you. “Is that it?”

“We have to actually dye it now.”

“Oh.” You turn on your heels desperate to escape his gaze. “Let’s go then.” A smirk plays across his lips, but he refrains from teasing you, solely because he very much enjoyed the way you were looking at him and doesn’t want you to stop.

And yeah—sue him if he thinks about your hands in his hair for the rest of the day. In the end, he might be a little grateful no one else was available to help him.

When mid-semester break arrives, it comes as a surprise that you actually miss each other. What surprises you even further, is that he’s the one to bring it up. Within the first night, he video calls you, a sheepish expression on his face, explaining he needed someone to complain to.

“What do you mean?” You teased. “Sounds like you’re getting stuffed with good food from Osamu and you have plenty to brag about.” You winked, smiling devilishly at him and pointing to yourself. You’re only joking. Slightly. You aren’t sure what will come about if he tells his family about you, or if that’s even a good idea. It’d be much easier to break this off cleanly without the involvement of each other’s families.

He sighs, flopping down on his bed and scrubbing his face with one hand. “They’re just dyin’ to meet you now.”

Your brows lift, half-expecting him to have tried to keep this a secret. “You told them?”

“I wasn’t gunna,” he explains. “But apparently some college sports news channel caught um—,” he coughs awkwardly, remembering very vividly this day, yet the two of you haven’t acknowledged it since. “Our—uh—celebration.”

Eyes widening, you stare at him a moment before the both of you burst out laughing. Between your giggles you manage to say, “Oops.”

Laughing alongside you, he grins, despite the pang in his heart at the voice in his head desperately trying to remind him all of this isn’t real. You aren’t his girlfriend and the moment all of this ends, you probably won’t bat an eye at him ever again. He hates how much that hurts.

Forging onward towards his demise he discloses, “I am now a very proud owner of a very jealous brother now, so thank you.”

That only makes you keep grinning, setting a hand on your cheek and dramatically saying, “What? Of little ol’ me?”

He fights the urge to tell you that yes—jealous of little ol’ you. The girl who is slowly becoming the girl of his dreams. The beautiful, funny girl who deals with him and everything that comes with him. He swallows all that, keeping the mood and saying, “He refuses to let me try any of his onigiri. A crime, really.”

“Of the highest caliber,” you agree, stifling your laughter. “Though I’m sure you steal some when he isn’t looking.”

“Yeah, but he caught me and hit me on the head with his spoon.”

“How dare he. Lucky for me, my family is clueless.”

“What do they think yer doin’ right now then?”

Shrugging you say, “I told them I had a project to work on with a classmate. Which isn’t entirely a lie, I do have a project to work on. But someone interrupted.”

He smirks. “Wonder who that could be.”

“Beats me.” His responding grin does something to you that’s been happening a lot more frequently lately. Making you feel like all the air has been punched out of you and like your heart is going to beat out of your chest. Though, you’ve gotten quite good at hiding it.

In the distance, you hear someone calling his name. He panics, it’s bad enough his family knows about you now, but he isn’t sure if he’s ready for them to meet you. Especially Osamu, who he has the sinking feeling is already suspicious of this. It’ll be a miracle if he can slip this by him.

“Gotta go!” He says quickly, and before he ends the call, he hears you chuckle and say, “Beware the spoon.”

Every day his situation only gets worse.

The next night he can’t get Osamu off his back. Enough that when he tries to retreat to his bedroom to give you a call, pathetically missing you again, Osamu bursts in when he’s about two minutes into the video call with you. He tries to shove him out, embarrassed and afraid Osamu will see straight through him. But Osamu is stubborn, and he hears you laughing on the other end of the call before saying, “Aww, Atsumu won’t you at least let me try to charm the pants off him?”

He grits his teeth, the thought that he wants you to charm the pants off of him, not his brother flitting through his head before he can stop it. But he relents, letting Osamu sit backwards on his desk chair to join the conversation.

He isn’t sure how, but somehow you get Osamu to believe this is real in a matter of minutes. You have him laughing and talking about culinary school and he almost feels jealous that your attention is now on Osamu instead of him. It’s a ridiculous notion, he knows it, but it doesn’t stop him from keeping the camera on him as much as possible.

When the call ends, Osamu looks at him seriously, and for a moment Atsumu thinks he’s just been pretending to believe you this entire time. However, he breaks into a smile and smacks him on the back saying, “Got yerself a keeper, there.”

Atsumu tries to grin with as much sincerity as he can. Yeah—he knows he does. But that isn’t going to stop this from ending.

That night, both of you go to bed feeling like you’re getting in too deep.

And as per usual, when school starts back up again, neither of you bring it up. You’re happy to keep ignoring it, hating yourself for liking this arrangement and him more and more every day. It sad really, how much time in your day is spent thinking about him. Wondering if there’s any possibility that the two of you could just transition to a real relationship. Because to you, that’s already what this is. Nothing would change, but at least you’d stop feeling guilty every time you enjoy his hand in yours or the soft press of his lips to the top of your head.

A few days after returning to school, you find yourself alone with him in his dorm room studying. He’s sitting at his desk, hunched over a textbook while you lay on his bed, head propped up by an elbow. You can feel your eyes drooping, the words blurring together, it becoming harder and harder to stay awake. His bed is too comfortable and smells overwhelmingly like him, a scent you’ve come to enjoy every time you’re pressed up against him. A mixture of his body wash and the ever-present faint smell of the volleyball court. Eventually you’re powerless against the solace of sleep.

When Atsumu notices you, his heart jumps into his throat. You look so serene and peaceful, your chest rising and falling ever so slightly, part of him wants to crawl in beside you and press his face into your neck and fall asleep right along with you.

But he too has begun to feel like this game has gone too far. The moment he had to tell his family, lie to Osamu, he knew he’d crossed a line. It isn’t fair to you. No longer does he need to pretend for his teammates that he can have a serious relationship, there isn’t a reason to torture himself and keep you tied to him anymore.

Yet, thinking about not being without you, no longer eating lunch together, studying together, or having you in the stands at his games wrenches his heart in such a way he actually feels like it’s crumpling inside his chest. He hasn’t been able to admit it, but at some point along the way, he thinks he fell in love with you. And it just hurts too much to keep pretending. Especially when you’re only doing this for peace and quiet during your showers.

For you, he shouldn’t drag this on any longer.

So, a couple days later, you texted him telling him you were in the library and can join him anytime if he wants. A harmless text, one you’ve sent him many times since this whole thing started, but this one makes his heart sink. Knowing this is the opportunity he’s been waiting for to talk to you. He tries to not think about it, trying to let volleyball take over his thoughts, but it’s futile. All he can think about is saying those words to you, and how it’s quite possibly going to utterly destroy him.

But you take it well, as he expects, squashing the hope that you might feel something for him too.

That night in the library feels particularly lonely. There’s no quick-witted remark from the boy who carved himself a place in your life, no one there to make you laugh when you’re struggling with a problem. Instead, you’re met with nothing but the darkness and silence of the library. It’s almost too much to bear, and once the silence starts closing in on you—you force yourself to leave, refusing to let yourself wallow.

The next weeks are hard. He never imagined that he’d think that after all of this was over. He keeps showering in the mornings to avoid you and uphold the deal you two struck months ago. He ignores the empty hole in his chest when he eats lunch without you, or studies late alone. The most jarring thing is your absence at his games. He constantly finds himself searching the crowd for your face, before remembering you won’t be there. He misses that intense gaze he could always feel on his back, the one that kept him awake at night when he let his thoughts run wild.

He feels as though something has been ripped from his life, leaving nothing but a gaping hole behind that seems intent on devouring him whole.

The same can be said for you.

Who knew you’d ever miss his teasing remarks while you shower? Or miss how you could complain to him endlessly about classes and then have him comfort you in the warm solace of his arms? Even the little things like walking to class together, now that you do it alone, it feels like there’s something missing.

The two you go on like that, thinking of the other every night before sleeping, tossing and turning with the thought of what could have been.

And eventually, you reach the point where you’re over it. Over pining after him day after day, peering out your door to make sure he isn’t around, or taking detours just to avoid him in the hallways. You’re over it. Enough that you’re willing to swallow your pride and confess to him, even if he doesn’t feel the same way—maybe you can fucking move on then.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you stomp to his dorm room, his roommate opening the door; his eyes widening upon seeing you. Immediately, he grabs his keys saying into the room, “I forgot I need to go to the store Atsumu, see you later.”

He leaves no time for Atsumu to protest, out the door in a matter of moments, leaving you standing in the doorway. Atsumu is just sitting in his desk chair, looking dumfounded at you, having fully expected to never see you again.

The gears in his head grind to a halt as you say, “This is stupid.”

He gives you a bewildered look, unsure what exactly you mean by that.

You steel your courage and press on. “I like you. And you like me. I think. And all this pretending that we don’t is stupid.”

After a few moments, his lips curve into a smile, the mischievous one you used to hate but now feel relief seeing. He can’t help the joy building in his chest at your confession. How many sleepless nights thinking about this very moment did he endure?

“You said it,” he teases.

Despite giving him a look, you do nothing to stop the grin rising to your lips. “Well, it didn’t seem like you were going to.”

His smile only widens, and he motions you into the room. “Get yer butt over here already.”

You move on instinct, striding into the room and climbing into his lap, settling your legs on either side of his you wrap your arms around his neck. The overwhelming sense that yes—this is exactly where you want to be, washes over you. He smirks up at you, his large hands resting at your waist, waiting for your next move.

“I can’t believe I actually missed that stupid smirk,” you say, lowering your lips to his, fingers slipping into the short hair at the base of his neck.

His smile hasn’t faltered, muttering against your lips teasing, “Does this mean I can shower at night again?”

A laugh bubbles out of you, but he smothers it in another kiss and refuses to let go.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

When You Become A Fallen

(( This premise is about reader being one of the Seraphim, and she was/fell in love with one of the brothers, which made God shun her from the Celestial Realm, and thus, how each of the brothers helps her through her transformations to a Demon and her new lifestyle. ))

---

LUCIFER

Quite frankly, he took it the hardest, as he too was a Seraph back in the days, God’s most beloved angel, and the descend changed him a lot, even if he doesn’t want to admit.

When he saw your broken form on the ground, he cradled your body close to his chest, feeling fear and panic just as when Lilith almost died, so he went to plead to Diavolo to allow you permanent stay in the Devildom as well, saying that he’ll do anything for this favour, just like before.

Centuries passed since he descended, and while he still has nightmares of what happened, the pain and transformation were something that he forced himself to forget, at least for his own pride and ego, but seeing you in such excruciating pain was an even worse torture than before.

He knew there was little he or anyone else could do regarding all this, but he will be there by your side for the whole duration of it, no matter how long it took, be it days, weeks or months, he wouldn’t be pried away from you.

For the most of the day, Lucifer had you sit on his lap, both of you wearing light sleeping wear, so you could feel each other’s body heat, thinking it would help ease the pain, even by a little.

However, as soon as your 3 pairs of majestic, pure white wings started blankening, while one of the pairs also started burning, feather by feather, you became unreasonable, as you couldn’t even think or speak properly because of the agony surging through your every artery, vein, capillary and nerve in your body.

You were desperately clinging to him, scratching his back and arms, screeching for forgiveness, begging him to kill you already and end this pain, questioning what you did wrong, except have pure and unwavering  feelings of love for someone, and all Lucifer could do was hold you tightly, a had on the back of your head, putting your face on the crook of his neck, while the other was on your back, putting you glued to his chest, trying to keep you still and potentially causing yourself more damage.

“WHY, GOD, WHY?! WHAT HAVE I DONE SO WRONG TO FALL OUT OF YOUR GRACES?! IS IT REALLY FORBIDDEN TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND FEELINGS?! CURSE YOU! CURSE THE CELESTIAL REALM! CURSE ALL YOUR FUCKING ANGELS! YOU ARE A MONSTERS!” you kept crying out, cursing the skies, and Lucifer, in his head and heart, was yelling the same thing as you were.

His own heart was crying out in despair seeing his beloved like that, and for the first time since Lilith, he shed tears of pure sorrow, cursing God, the Celeastial Realm and all the angels there, and more, cursing himself for allowing both of them to become lovers back when they were angels, because his act of rebelling against God only brought you intense suffering.

There is nothing Lucifer wouldn’t do for you, no matter how impossible it seemed, but you are the only person he ever had such a connection with, so he treasures you as much as his own brothers.

He knows how difficult it was for him to completely accept he was a Demon and blend in to this new place, but he will be there for you to guide and teach you with every step you took, always holding you hand, always giving you genuine and tender smiles to help you feel more at ease, and of course, he will make sure you room with him so you won’t ever be alone and afraid again.

---

MAMMON

He freaks out so bad at first, questioning you out loud a thousand questions, while fidgeting from leg to leg and looking around for help.

Why were you here? Why were you injured? What happened? Are you alright?

Of course you weren’t alright, damn it! Stupid Mammon! Do something!

He picked you up and brought you to Lucifer, crying desperately and asking what the hell he was supposed to do, because he had no idea what the hell happened and why you were the way you are, and for the first time in ages, Lucifer didn’t yell at him, nor did he insult him - He actually helped him as much as he could, because he knew what was going on, and his heart broke at seeing his beloved little brother crying like that.

In his room, you wouldn’t stop crying and holding your head - You had migraines, your scalp was burning, your whole skin felt ablaze, you felt akin to a witch being burnt alive, and poor Mammon was crying along with you, not knowing if he should touch you, in fear of hurting you more, or holding you tightly and letting you cry away everything that hurt.

Mammon tried to kiss your tears away, put on music to help you keep your mind away from the pain, tried to tell you silly stories from his failed plans, or from his brothers to make you laugh, but in the end, nothing really helped, and he felt that the sky fell on him.

That is, until he turned away from you, gripping his hair in despair as he was running out of ideas to help you and his heart was being ripped apart more and more...But you gripped on his jacket and pulled him in a tight embrace from the back, resting your forehead on the blades of his shoulders, making him stop dead in his track, stiff as a board.

“Mammon, it hurts...Mammon, don’t leave me, please...Please keep on staying me me. Don’t leave me again. I missed you so much...So much that I didn’t even realise that the whole Celestial Realm knew I was in love with you ever since you were an angel...Everyone knew, except for me...But I missed you so much...And they said it’s forbidden. But I can’t live without you.” you sobbed, your fingers and nails digging into his chest as you confessed your sin and the reason you got in this position, which frankly, it made Mammon feel both guilty and even more head over heels with you.

Honestly, nobody ever expressed their feelings to him the way you did, unless it was Stupid Mammon left and right...But you...You were being so genuine and pure...You were real...You loved him...And now there was no barrier between you two...

He cursed himself for being happy with what happened, despite your agony, but he was a greedy man, and he craved your affection more than flowers need the Sun, so he continued to try to put a smile on your face and make the transformation easier to bear with.

Realising that your horns were beginning to grow, he transformed into his demon self and taking your hands in his gingerly, he put them over his own horns, reassuring you that everything will be okay, that they will grow pretty fast and all the agony will go away soon.

When the transformation was done, he was extremely overprotective of you becoming a student at RAD, dragging you with him everywhere, but he tried to be more responsible this time, as he had to take care of you and he couldn’t risk some angry witches or other demons attacking you to get to him.

--- LEVIATHAN

Kinda like Mammon, he was panicked beyond belief, not understanding how the hell did you get yourself in that position, but instead of freaking out, he kinda looked at you, stunned, unmoving, until he finally managed to snap out of it and carried you to his room, while calling Lucifer and telling him the gist of it.

Levi knew that his room was incredibly aesthetic and relaxing, having an aquatic theme, so hopefully, it will help you bear with the transformation and adaptation to this new life-style easier, and hopefully, not have any problems with blending in, especially since he will be there for you at every step you took.

And if that wasn’t enough, since Levi barely leaves the room, he would shelter you like a mother would her little baby, coddling you, wrapping his tail around you protectively, helping you take slightly cold baths to get rid of the burning and itching sensation of your horns and wings transforming, and showing you Henry 2.0 and promising you that he will be your best friend too.

However, the transformation for you wasn’t as bad as the spiraling and paranoia that seemed to completely engulf you, which made you quite hysterical for a while, and no amount of video games and anime could prepare Levi for this mess.

“Levi, what if they come after me? What if they aren’t happy with me being alive? What if they take me back and try to torture me to death? I don’t want back there again...Levi, I’m afraid, please protect me.” you clutched his blouse while sobbing in his shoulder, and all he could do was hold you tightly and promise you that everything will be okay and he would let nobody touch you again.

He would then start telling you about TSL and how The Lord of Shadows will always be there to protect his Henry, which is when you asked him if he would be your Lord of Shadows, and his face started blushing like crazy, and he vowed to himself that you, his most precious person, will never ever have to feel any kind of pain ever again, and he will be there for you no matter what.

Levi understands what’s like being afraid, nervous, anxious, which is something he often feels himself, and thus, the reason for preferring to take online classes rather than going physically to a classroom, which is something that he will ask for for you too, and thankfully, Lucifer approves of it, understanding the situation.

His hectic sleeping schedule is always messed up by his love for binge-watching and binge-playing, something you often partake into as a way to keep the intrusive thoughts away from your head, and it is rather effective.

However, on the occasions that you’re having a mental breakdown and start spiraling once again, no matter what hour of the day or night it is, Levi will be there to tell you how he loves you, how you’re safe with him, that nobody would ever dare cross Diavolo’s rules on his own domain, and that those angels up there were shitheads for prosecuting you for something as pure as loving someone.

--- SATAN

Out of all the demon brothers, he is obviously the only one who didn’t have to go through the whole metamorphosis ritual, because he never was an angel to begin with.

He knows, however, the excruciating pain that you’re going through, as him and Lucifer share some of the more powerful emotions and memories he used to have, and so, he has an idea, backing up all the stories he heard from 3rd parties, from his brothers and from books.

Satan will make all of his brothers send him thorough voice messages to explain what they went through and how he could help you, and thus, he would be pampering and taking care of you every second, without a second thought.

He couldn’t believe that you truly fell for him after just one year of spending time together, during the exchange-student program, when you came to Devildom...I mean, he was a demon, and while yes, he too fell for you, he was in shock hearing that such a pure and perfect being such as yourself would ever harbour such feelings for him, a demon, and the Avatar of Wrath nonetheless...

“Satan...Why...Why is it such a sin to fall in love? What have I done so cruel...So unforgivable...That I deserve to go through all this pain...All this agony...All I wanted was to be happy...Is that so selfish of me to ask? Am I not allowed to live the rest of my life with someone that I genuinely cherish so much...?” she cried with so much self-hatred that it made Satan want to burn the whole Celestial Realm and torture and rip apart every feather, every limb of those stupid angels and flay them alive, letting the lesser demons eat them.

The pain you’re being subjected to is exhausting you so much, but if you stand still, it feels like it’s hurting tenfold, so you try to keep yourself moving around the room, until you collapse from over-exerting your already frail body.

Satan would only look at you in pity, as he tried to hide the burning rage he harboured in his heart, along with all the death-threats he wanted to throw away at God and all the stupid angels who dared do this to you, so he picks you up gently, putting you on his bed, puts a light blanket over you and goes to prepare a cup of calming tea that has somnolent effects, hoping that it would help you heal faster and regain some of your strength through resting.

He would hold you close to his chest, kissing your forehead, stroking your hair, trying to keep you drowsy and calm, while also reading you one very interesting book, Harrison Porter, as it had lots of magic spells and he could show you the spells, to fascinate you, and try to keep your thoughts away from the pain.

Of course, he would be researching all remedies, spells and treatments to help ease the pain, so he would be rubbing creams with and lotions on your back and on your wings, to calm down the pain, would put spells on you to give you sweet dreams every night, and would always hold you tightly and promise you that nobody would ever come with any ill-intent towards you, and that he would kill anyone who dares even look at you the wrong way.

Since he has always been a demon, he is very popular and sociable, so blending in would be much easier with him by your side, as he would take you as his date everywhere - Be it a sports game, a theater play, an opera play, a ballet, a social gathering, a ballroom dance, a drive-outside cinema, or colour festival, a concert...Or literally anything.

---

ASMODEUS

No matter how dramatic and extra Asmo loves to be, this was no joking matter, and the person he knew he could always rely on, and that was his eldest brother, Lucifer, the only being that he ever looked up to, that he ever admired - Lucifer, the one who used to be a Seraph, just like you.

He wanted to understand what Lucifer went through, because sure, Asmo knew the physical transformations his brother went through, but he couldn’t know of the emotional trauma, or how different it was for him, as he was, after all, the highest-ranking angel in the Celestial Realm.

He then correlated with how disgusted he remembered both himself and Lucifer felt when looking into the mirror and realising they weren’t the divine beings from before, but a wretched abomination, and how long it took them to come to terms with the idea, and finally try to find the specks of beauty that others saw in them, despite the changes.

It was true, you went through a lot of pain, exhaustion, mental breakdowns, trauma, all because of how agonising the transformation was, and Asmo was there for you to brighten up and ease you through everything, not wanting you to be alone, like they were, so seeing his gorgeous and loving smile always seemed to make the corners of your mouth tilt upwards, even by a little bit.

Asmo would cuddle you and pamper you with an infinite amount of kisses, and of course, would give you frequent back rubs, wing massages, scalp massages, knowing that those were the most painful and affected areas, and thankfully enough, all the beauty products he used on you were cool and had calming and painkilling effects, so at least was better for you.

When it was all over, however, the horror didn’t end, as you saw yourself in the mirror and fell to your knees shrieking at your new appearance...That wasn’t you...It couldn’t be you...This...This abomination...This tainted thing...

Your desperation and self-hatred were so through the roof that you punched the mirror and clutched the shards in your hands, not even feeling any pain, because everything was ablaze anyway, and not even your tears could pull out the fire inside you.

Asmo was devastated seeing you like this, it made him want to sob, to pull you to his chest and cry out, telling him how he hates seeing you like this, that you remind him of himself, that deep inside him, despite all the narcissism he puts on display, he is also still a bit insecure and wishes he had the same appearance as before...But what hurt him the most was seeing you hating yourself so much, and having ended up like him, just because your heart chose the wrong person to have such intense feelings for.

“This is not me...This can’t be me...Asmodeus, what the hell is wrong with your mirror, it’s broken...It’s cursed...This isn’t me, this isn’t how I look...It can’t be...My wings...My feathers...They are all black...And these horns...And this gem...And the markings...This new outfit...What is this...Why...Why me...Why...?! Why am I being cursed for being in love?! Is this how ugly, tainted and abominable my soul is?! Is that why I look like this?! Is that WHY I became this?!” you tore away at your hair, as Asmo could only fix the mirror quickly, to avoid you getting more injured, and cradled your smaller form to his chest, whispering reassuring words and compliments.

He would do all his beauty routines with you, would compliment you endlessly, would make you try out a thousand and more outfits that he bought for you, showing you off, taking pics of you and boasting with you on DevilGram, since you’re the most gorgeous babe alive and he’s lucky to have you in his life, and now, you and him are the most beautiful couple ever to exist, without a doubt.

He would never tell you all the emotional trauma and self-hatred he went through, because as long as he could make you smile and help teach you how to love yourself again, and see the beauty in your new appearance, Asmodeus was happy and didn’t need anything else.

--- BEELZEBUB

For poor Beel, this was the whole Lilith problem all over again, blaming and hating himself for letting her die (sort of), and now, here you were, a Fallen, broken, lost, depressed, all because you loved him, and he loved you, but he rebelled and now you were caught in the crossfire.

No matter how kind and sweet he is, this is the second time the Celestial Realm crushed his heart and stomped on his feelings, hurting the people he loves most, and this was too much...He would never be able to forgive them, no matter what...And especially not his Father for being so cruel with the angels that loved him so much and were beyond devout to him.

For him, the changes weren’t as painful, and that may be because of his built, and how he finds it easier to deal with physical pain, rather than the emotional one, as he feels like he’s getting blow after blow in that aspect, but he must be strong, for you, for Belphie, for Lilith and for his brothers too.

Beel knows he’s very physically strong, even by demon standards, so he will be a bit afraid at the beginning to touch you, fearing that he will make you hurt more than you already do, but as soon as you nestle yourself in his embrace, he can’t help himself and he puts his arms around you, making you feel safer, protected, and you can deal the agony better, even by a bit.

If he could, he would take away all the pain that you’re feeling, he would go through all that agony a thousands times, just so he could spare you all this pain, he would volunteer to get his wings burnt, grow a new set of horns, would even let himself go through all the paranoia, the nightmares, the burning feeling of your skin...Even the incapacity to eat demon food...Only to spare you of all that horror...

But that wasn’t possible, unfortunately, so all he could do was stay by your side through all of it and try to make it more bearable, because, after all, he still had Belphie, so he wasn’t alone, and neither will you be.

He completely forgot how, at the beginning, for quite a long time, his body refused to digest demon food, so he would get sick and vomit every time he would try to eat something, but was quickly reminded when you made a sprint to the bathroom and he could only hold your hair as you puked your guts out, crying at the pain.

“Why do I have to go through this...God...Why...The wings...The horns...And now, I can’t even eat? Am I supposed to just starve to death...? Is that what you want, Father? Is this the Divine Punishment I get for wanting my loved ones to be safe? That I wanted to see you and tell you how much I care for you, because I never got the chance when you were still an angel? Is that how angels should really be? Hateful of others? Then I’m glad I don’t have to associate myself with such cruel creatures like you, Father!” you growled in anger, frustration, pain, hatred and agony, letting out all your feelings that have been bottled up for so many centuries, but at least now, Beel was there to hold you tight and tell you that everything will be okay, and you still have him.

He would completely stop eating around you, because despite being the Avatar of Gluttony, he couldn’t possibly tempt you with food and make you feel worse, so every so often, he would bring you some light human food, like crackers, water, milk, some vegetables, toast, to help you get some nutrients for your body, so you won’t collapse, at least, even though it was obvious you were becoming paler and skinnier, which worried Beel a lot.

Even so, Beel was always by your side, carrying you if you felt weak at some moment, helping you eat bit by beat, making sure you get a healthy portions, and just the right foods, integrating some little bits of demon food, and before you knew it, you were completely able to have a proper demon meal, and were getting better.

From then on, you will always sleep in his bed, either cuddling or holding hands, because both of you are afraid of losing the other, of having through go through all that torture again, but at least the day was much brighter and you could inally go out together and live your life as a normal student in Devildom would.

--- BELPHEGOR

The Avatar of Sloth has so much pent up rage and hatred, that he may need to take over the title of Avatar of Wrath before long.

First, hating the whole human world, because of Lilith’s death, hating demons because of the misunderstanding with Diavolo and Lucifer, and now, wanting to burn and torture to death the whole Celestial Realm for shunning you like that, letting you to rot, broken, on the ground, as if you were worth less than a vermin.

It took every ounce of self-control Belphegor had to stop himself from unleashing his hatred on the world, and get you to his room to tend to you, hoping and doing his best to make sure you are alright.

He is going to force Beel to keep him awake, because, due to his Avatar Sin, he is prone to falling asleep quite easily, which would only be counter-productive and he wouldn’t be able to sooth your pain and fears this way, so he’s going to sacrifice days and nights of sleep just to make sure you’re not crying anymore.

No matter how harsh his speech is, it does a complete 180 when it comes to you, he will speak in the softest voice possible, would look at you with the most tender look on his face, would give you lost of reassuring gentle kisses, would stroke your hair soothingly, while also humming an old lullaby that Lilith used to sing to him, and would brush away the hair from your face, to see your gorgeous eyes sparkling.

He hates seeing you in so much pain, but every time he curses the angels in his head, he’s just going to hug you tighter, as a way to stop himself from crying at your misfortune, because you’re too pure and kind, you don’t deserve to go through all this pain, it’s just not fair...

What was worse is that, after all this physical mess ended, the emotional and mental one only began, as you weren’t able to get a wink of sleep, because of all the nightmares plaguing your mind all the time, waking you up, making you cry and scream, tremble in fear and anxiety, while all Belphie could do was to hug you tightly, turn on the light, and tell you the same generic reassuring words because...What else was there for him to even say anymore?!

“I’m scared, Belphie, I’m scared...I’m afraid that if I fall asleep, I’m just going to get more nightmares, and maybe I won’t even wake up after that. I’m afraid that if I wake up, you will be taken away from me...Or that they will drag me back to the Celestial Realm to torture me for treason...I’m afraid I’ll have to go through all that over and over and over again...Belphie, I’m exhausted, I’m losing my mind...I just want to have one fucking night of proper sleep...Just one...Is that too much to ask? Am I really that undeserving of feeling rested, just because I fell in love? Is that how things are for those perfect frauds up there?!” you sobbed, clinging on Belphie, as he could only curse them together with you, giving you approving words, and cuddling with you, you try to fall asleep on his cow-patterned pillow, lights still on, drinking a cup of hot milk with honey, thanks to Beel who went to prepare some for the both of you.

Even for him, who has been a demon for so long, nightmares never ended, but at least they weren’t as frequent as yours, so to help you out, even by a bit, he started looking around for remedies, spells, drinks, to get you into a deep sleep with no dreams, at least for now, to help you regain even a bit of your strength back and not be a zombie anymore.

Belphie would get incredibly passive-aggressive and protective of you, growling at anyone that may be considered a threat to you, that approaches you, and wouldn’t let you alone for even a second, in fear of somehow losing you - You’re either with him, or with one of his brothers, or in yours or his room, and frankly, you’re happy knowing that you can finally feel a sense of security after so long.

[cottoncandyjester]

Beta Prince is cute, Beta Zeke is hot, do you think Beta Hikaru will ACTUAL be nice (with a bit of tsun tsun), beta ushio enjoying the outdoors, and beta twins ACT LIKE REGUALR BROTHERS. Its a whole different wonderland....but are they still yanderes? that is the true question😂

Have some more Beta ocs! Yay!

Also yeah they would definitely still having a bit of yandere in them but it would be far less Dangerous and more soft and wholesome

Beta Hikaru:

He didn’t have to dye his hair to rebel from his father so his hair is naturally black

He gets nervous quick and when he does that tsundere side pops out

He is super sweet normally though

Still enjoys modeling and acting

He actually loves his job and isn’t fake at all

Is a little oblivious with his fans so he doesn’t realize when a fan is being creepy

He just wants to make people smile💕

He is a simp from a distance lover

Constantly leaves expensive gifts for his darling whenever he can

If you give him a kiss on the nose his face scrunches up in the cutest of ways before he scolds your on how embarrassing that is

Beta! Yuuta:

No trauma means no anxiety or ptsd

Is an engineer and he adores it

He still has a Love for explosives

He has fireworks in his pockets that he always wants set off

He is actually the cheerful louder twin out of the two

He is such a cocky prideful little shit when he wants to be though

Has made a bunch of geeky little gadgets for his darling

Something explodes every three minutes when he’s around

He can’t help but fix something if it sees it’s broken

Is usually breaking at least one family car only to put it back together again

Adores his siblings to bits

He tried teaching Yuuji robotics but sadly his twin is more interested in other things

Actually acts like the oldest when he needs to

He is super strong! Can lift both Yuuji and Hikaru at the same time

He is quite the troublemaker when he wants to be like he’s always teasing Hikaru for how easily he gets crushes

He always tries to pull Yuuji into his nonsense

Beta! Yuuji:

He doesn’t have to force himself to play a role in the family

He wasn’t groomed to be the fashion star of the family much like his normal counterpart so he doesn’t know anything about fashion

He is super chill

He got to grow up finding his own passions and hobbies

he’s really into drawing and hair styling instead

Him and beta! Prince are best buds

They tend to draw together while listening to music

He’s AWFUL at fashion

I’m talking tiger print sweater and neon green pants to go with it

He is definitely cat like in his behavior

I’m not even kidding like he kinda just pop up around the house at the most random of times

Also is insanely flexible and has a habit of climbing and chilling in the most random of places

You once found him scrolling on his phone while he sat legs crossed on the fridge

He usually helps Yuuta by handing him tools when he’s working

Those two are close but it’s a normal twin close

As the younger twin Yuuta always ends up getting scolded by Yuuji

Mostly for doing dangerous things

Is still roommates with Yuuta but it’s normal

They have separate rooms

Actually doesn’t like too much affection from Yuuta

After like two hugs he’s done

Such a dirty little pervert

Has so many porn magazines hidden under his mattress

Such a pothead like holy hell

Has a ✨plant shelf ✨in his room where he grows his special plants

Beta! Rin:

He ended up living with his father after his parents had the divorce instead of his mother like his counterpart

His father runs a kendo dojo

Rin is usually there 90% of the time

He is pretty serious and mature

Carries his bamboo sword almost everywhere he goes

He tries not to laugh in front of people

He is a responsible person he doesn’t have time for jokes

Such a sweetheart though

Is almost always Apologizing even if it isn’t his fault

He sadly didn’t have much of a childhood since he was in the dojo all the time

Please watch him during a match✨

He likes to read when he has time

He greatly likes fantasy cause he can escape reality

He is very awkward like poor thing

He is awful at flirting

If you try to touch his scars he will flinch cause he think they are ugly

Has battle scars all over his body

Is very skilled at fighting

He like to spar with beta axis to the point where they are both bruised at the end

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Onyx and MC find out that they're having Twins

Written by: @evoedbd

It was a usual peaceful day in the clinic. Sunlight shone through the windows, reflecting the off coloured white walls to bathe the room in a soft, bright light. The air was so light, light enough that one could forgive the beige linoleum floors and the sterile smell which betrayed the calm and gave a hospital vibe. Combatting the sterile nature was a large fish tank, illuminated with gentle blues through driftwood and aquarium plants. The plants waved gently in the currents, joyfully curling around the playful bubbles escaping an ornament amidst the driftwood. The fish danced around their environment, fins occasionally flaring before they dashed off, merrily oblivious to the incoming storm.

Standing guardian to the peaceful waiting room was a lone secretary, stationed behind her large corner desk. Immaculately dressed, as she had been every day for ten years on the job, her occasionally stern gaze held the rabble in line. Under her eye, even the most anxious of patients stayed quiet, perhaps mistaking her for harsh. She was not. These patients who came in were under her care until they met their doctors. For the lives they grew, the secretary owed them a moment of peace. A place to feel safe. Whether it was to hand them pamphlets from her desk with cliche titles such as “what to expect while expecting” or handing them pamphlets to support groups. Sometimes, a simple glass of water or some biscuits were what her patients needed, and she loyally provided, honoured by her small role in helping healthy babies be brought into the world. Though, there was a darker side to her observations. She had to pick out the women at risk, the women in tough circumstances. These women stayed with her, even long after they left her sight. The “unfortunate” accidents which could not be proven as anything but. The husbands and wives who looked just a little bit too angry at being there. The expecting mothers who were too twitchy. The noble secretary kept them all marked, a tiny yellow flag on their appointments.

She had known the moment miss Onyx Wren had come in all those years ago that something was horribly wrong. A lone, terrified young woman who had done her best to be bright and chirpy. She’d talked about her loving boyfriend, how he was so excited for her baby, how he was working extra hard and making her work harder to provide the best life for their coming child. It had come as no surprise when the clinic heard she had lost her baby in a training accident. When the following check-up was under the watchful eyes of her boyfriend. The way he had looked at Onyx still chilled the Secretary to the core, and when she had heard his line of questioning. All about physicality. All about when Onyx could have sex again. She knew. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had done something horrific, and that Onyx was too scared to speak, too trapped in denial to accept her reality.

Today, the scene had been something entirely different. Onyx had been quiet, terrified even, but she was not alone. With her was a little Asian woman, a hurricane barely restraining herself. The air had changed the moment they stepped in, the Asian woman holding the doors for Onyx, comforting her with amusing faces and gentle touches. The Asian woman hadn’t seemed to care how childish she seemed; her focus was devoted to Onyx. Over her shoulder, a bag containing several textbooks had bounced, textbooks the Secretary recognised as medical schoolbooks on pregnancy and reproduction. That had given her pause. For all the childish energy and wild excitement, the girl had shown, she was so clearly committed. So seriously dedicated to whatever role she was playing for the expectant mother. And Onyx? Onyx, for all her fright, seemed to gravitate to that energy, feeding off it until the two seamlessly worked together, as if they felt the other in their very soul. As if reading one another’s thoughts before they even occurred. It was sickeningly adorable. If only that Asian woman could keep her voice down, then the Secretary might have even been cooing over them.

“TWINS!” The gleeful cry cut through the peaceful din of the waiting room; the roar of a dragon across the countryside. Like the beating of wings, the faithful pounding of footsteps against the floor crescendoed, growing closer and closer. Occasionally, the sound of shoes squeaking from the friction against the floor broke the pattern, or a pause to the steps cued more joyous shouting.

The Secretary cringed, her dedicated typing coming to a halt as she braced herself for the human hurricane. The one she’d read as the emergency contact. Cali Meng Xi.

“Twins! Twins! Its twins! She’s having twins!” Cali continued to shout, leaping and whooping through the waiting room in a flurry of her tie-dyed hoodie and long, powerful legs. The bike mechanic danced, kicking her white high tops into the air with each leap and stride, reminiscent of a frolicking stallion amidst the spring grass. How could she stop? The excitement burning in her body was too powerful to contain, too pure to be tainted by something as cold as rational, mature behaviour or logic. Onyx was having babies. Plural. Not A baby. But BABIES. Twins! Two baby Onyx’s! Double the adorableness in the world. Double the miracles! Her heart was going to beat out of her chest; was going to explode into a shower of rainbow glitter and unicorns delivering bombs of happiness to all. Onyx! Babies!

Behind her, a melodic giggle twinkled. A sound of delight and embarrassment at the same time. Onyx followed at a far more sedate pace, reaching out in an effort to catch Cali’s arm whenever the mechanic was within reach. Of course, Cali didn’t stop bouncing around, her face split by the dopiest grin ever seen. Instead, she took Onyx’s hand, spinning the shorter woman as if they were in a ballroom instead of a waiting room.

“Cali, calm down. Just watching you is making me tired.” Onyx laughed; her voice filled with that undeniable note of happiness. Even as Cali’s behaviour embarrassed her a little, it also filled her with pride. It was evident in the healthy glow of her cheeks, the delighted, adoring twinkle in her oceanic emerald eyes. Her plea was heeded. Cali slowed, sweeping Onyx up into a loving embrace, only to spin her around once again. Onyx simply laughed, kicking her feet playfully before she was gently set down.

“The most beautiful woman in the world is having twins! I love you! I love you all, so, so much! I’m so excited, Onyx. I’m so happy I feel like I’m gonna explode if I don’t let it out!” Cali cried, fat tears of joy rolling down the curve of her cheeks. The truth of her words was evident. Standing still, Cali’s muscles twitched, all rebelling beneath her skin. She trembled, a tangle of energy with nowhere to go. Still, when she lifted her hands to Onyx’s cheeks, Cali was so very gentle. Even trembling, her fingers never became rough as they tucked strand after strand of golden hair behind Onyx’s delicate ear. For all her overwhelming energy, Cali’s hands were nothing but sweet again Onyx’s cheeks, as if cradling her world in her rugged palms. Gently, she lured Onyx into a kiss, the sweetest she could offer. Her lips caressed Onyx’s, pleading, writing her love into every romantic memory. A gesture of such vulnerability offered without fear or shame, unperturbed as to who witnessed such a moment.

The Secretary smiled, surrendering to her impulse to croon over the young women. Even from across the room, she could see the devotion in Cali’s dark eyes, could see how Onyx was her entire world. It was laced through every touch. The tenderness of her hands to Onyx’s barely showing stomach. The love in even the most chaste of kisses, in how Cali pressed them everywhere she could. This hurricane of excitement had no qualms about kneeling to Onyx, to pressing her lips to Onyx’s tummy. About sobbing with happiness. This woman was proud, without being prideful. Intense without becoming domineering. Cali Meng Xi was nothing like the boyfriend Onyx had tried to sell as loving. The longer The Secretary watched, the more apparent it became. Cali’s actions were all for Onyx. Cali wasn’t out to disturb the others, nor was she putting on a show for the crowds. This was her, raw and unbridled, unable to contain herself. She wasn’t trying to seize the stage, she was trying to share her happiness. She was blessing the waiting room with her genuine joy, gifting a glimpse of her soul as she worshipped a goddess in her own life. As she praised the lives growing.

“Six fucking pages.” The doctor whispered as he drew closer, bending down to slide the documentation to the Secretary and keep his words private.

“That woman took six pages of notes. If only all the expecting fathers were as dedicated.” He elaborated, earning a gentle chuckle from the Secretary. The woman gazed into the doctor's eyes for a moment, reading everything he hadn’t said. She watched, assessing for a few moments before accepting the files.

“Miss Wren better put a ring on that girl. They’re perfect together.” The Secretary commented, earning a sound of agreement from the doctor.

Quietly, she flipped to the page, pausing at the yellow sticky dot in the corner. The doctor simply nodded, confirming her thoughts with a smile so large it looked as if his aged face might split in two. The Secretary’s heart almost burst as she worked her nails beneath it, picking and plucking until the label came free. Nothing honored her as much as when she worked it into a nasty ball, then flicked it from her nails straight into the trash. Right where it belonged.

Onyx Wren wasn’t in danger any longer.

[supercasey]

TMA Fankids

Exactly one (1) person enabled me to post this, so here we are

JON/MARTIN KIDS

Name: Sebastian Timothy Blackwood-Sims Gender: Transman Age: 14 Appearance: Long black hair, dark brown eyes, dark skinned (African), paints his nails a lot (usually black or purple), wears a lot of oversized hoodies and leather jackets, almost always wears sweatpants, wears goth makeup because fuck you, etc. Personality: Is way too much like Jon according to everyone, but he's got Martin's softness and high empathy. Gets really anxious if he has to socialize a lot, so his dads try to make sure he has a lot of alone time when he needs it. Acts like a little punk, but he loves his younger siblings to death. Can see ghosts, and has been seeing and talking to someone named “Gerry” since he was about three or so (it worries Martin, but Jon is secretly happy about it). (Marked by the Lonely/Eye)

Name: Millicent “Millie” Georgie Blackwood-Sims Gender: Ciswoman Age: 13 Appearance: Long black hair, striking grey eyes, mixed race (Caucasian/African), wears a lot of leather jackets and short skirts, always has the coolest socks, usually has at least a few bandages on her knees, wears glasses (round frames), ties a lot of ribbons in her hair, etc. Personality: Very goth despite only being thirteen years old (makes Auntie Melanie proud). Surprisingly enough takes more after Martin than Jon, but she definitely has Jon's curiosity. Loves hanging out with Sebastian when she can. Also quite introverted, but she makes friends really easily. She likes hanging out with her dads sometimes, but she doesn't share many of their interests. Loves all things biology. (Marked by the Eye)

Name: Franklin “Frank” James Blackwood-Sims Gender: Cisman Age: 9 Appearance: Short orange hair, bright green eyes, pale skinned (Caucasian), covered head to toe in freckles, wears glasses (round frames) but they're almost always cracked (much to Jon's frustration), has a gap between his front teeth, wears a lot of outdoorsy gear and shorts, insists on wearing his safari explorer hat everywhere he goes, etc. Personality: Absolute wild child; he wants to play sports and run around outside as much as he can, something neither of his dads can relate to, but they encourage him to pursue his interests and be his own person. He really wants to be an explorer of some kind when he grows up, and he adores animals with all his heart. Very extroverted. (Marked by the Vast/Eye)

Name: Sasha Hope Blackwood-Sims Gender: Ciswoman Age: 6 Appearance: Dark brown hair, light brown eyes, covered in dark freckles, mixed race (Caucasian/African), wears a lot of light greens and blues, loves wearing princess themed dresses, carries her stuffed T-Rex “Mr. Chompy” everywhere she goes, has a lot of hairbands, wears glasses (round frames), etc. Personality: She's still pretty young, so she's obviously only just beginning to become more of her own person/have a personality, but so far she's taking a lot after Jon and follows him around everywhere he goes. She looks and acts a lot like OG!Sasha, not that her dads know this. What's more concerning, however, is that she reportedly keeps seeing a big, green eye in her dreams, something she seems frightened by. (Marked by the Web/Eye)

BASIRA/DAISY

Name: Kingsley Bruno Hussain-Tonner Gender: Cisman Age: 15 Appearance: Tall as all hell, long dark red hair, even darker brown eyes, mixed race (Latinx/Arab), has a scar running down the right side of his head, wears (Daisy’s) his mom’s old leather jacket around, has the most torn up jeans known to man, wears glasses, always has bandages around his knuckles, refuses to wears shoes/socks, etc. Personality: Born rebel. He’s been getting into trouble since he could walk, and he can’t help but take pride in that. Good friends with Sebastian, even if he thinks he’s a bit too nervous for his own good. Loves wrestling with Daisy whenever she’s willing to. Teases his sister a lot. Bit of an asshole, but he’s got a heart of gold under all that angst. (Marked by the Hunt)

Name: Rosalina Melanie Hussain-Tonner Gender: Ciswoman Age: 12 Appearance: Light brown hair (shaved off), dark brown eyes, mixed race (Caucasian/Arab), wears glasses (square frames), prefers wearing sweaters and gym shorts despite them looking weird together, has over a million pins on her backpack/purse, carries first aid supplies on her at all times, refuses to wear shoes/socks, etc. Personality: Almost the exact opposite of her older brother. Very down to earth and chill; she honestly hates it when her bro tries to drag her into shenanigans. Prefers sports over books, and she really wants to form/join a sports team of pretty much any kind. Can beat her brother in a fight, much to his frustration. Bit of a Mama’s Girl for Daisy. (Marked by the End)

MELANIE/GEORGIE

Name: Bethany “Annie” Willow King-Barker Gender: Ciswoman Age: 9 Appearance: Second tallest of the triplets, short red hair (curly), bright green eyes, mixed race (Caucasian/Latinx), her face and arms are absolutely covered in dark freckles, wears the most oversized sweaters, sweatpants are the best pants, etc. Personality: The firstborn of the triplets, Beth has a very no nonsense attitude, yet she still follows her siblings into all kinds of shenanigans (mostly because she goes along with whatever Matilda says). Pretty put together, but she's an eccentric bookworm and would much rather sit inside and read than play outside. (Marked by the Eye)

Name: Matilda Joy King-Barker Gender: Transwoman Age: 9 Appearance: Tallest of the triplets, long blonde hair, light brown eyes, mixed race (Caucasian/Latinx), wears jeans with a skirt, has ballerina shoes (wears them damn near everywhere), tank tops are the best shirts ever invented, wears a ginormous adventurer’s backpack everywhere, always has some kind of big ribbon in her hair, etc. Personality: The secondborn of the triplets, Matilda is almost always the leader and insists that her siblings follow her along on adventures. She's very protective of her siblings (especially little Eddy), but also won't hesitate to dropkick them. Fairly outdoorsy. Has a great talent for solving puzzles and tests. Low-key hates Aunt Daisy for unspecified reasons. (Marked by the Hunt)

Name: Leonard “Leo” Grant King-Barker Gender: Transman Age: 9 Appearance: Shortest of the triplets (yes he’s mad about it), short brown hair, dark green eyes, mixed race (Caucasian/Latinx), wears shorts most of the time, every piece of clothing he has is torn in some way, has army boots, always brings a backpack with him places, wears glasses (square frames), etc. Personality: The thirdborn of the triplets, Leo is very introverted yet also very outdoorsy, often running around at all hours of the day and as far away from everyone as possible. Loves his big sisters, but he prefers hanging out with Frank when the Blackwood-Sims kids come over. Kinda cowardly if we're being honest, but he'll jump into danger if it means protecting his family and friends. (Marked by the Vast)

Name: Edwin “Eddy” Oliver King-Barker Gender: Cisman Age: 4 Appearance: Short black hair, light brown eyes that flash green when he’s upset, dark skinned (African), has a huge scar running from one corner of his mouth all the way down to the middle of his chest, can’t stand wearing short-sleeved shirts (unless he has a hoodie/sweater over them), hunches in on himself a lot, carries his stuffed cat “Cheshire” everywhere he goes, etc. Personality: Very, very introverted. Has a thousand-mile stare. Selectively mute; has never spoken a word to anyone. He clings to both of his moms whenever he gets the chance, but if they’re not around, he’ll follow his siblings wherever they go. Can and will bite you if you try to touch/hug him without his consent. Has definitely seen some scary shit in his dreams, even if he can’t talk about it. (Marked by the Dark/End/Eye)

[siegfriedens]

“Did you do that on purpose?” + rowancéline

physical contact starters, starring rowan jung and céline heo !!

Rowan enjoys a handful of things. Despite his outgoing persona and friendly smile put to everyone out there, it is no secret that he is an extremely picky enjoyer, if that is even something one could be. Jung enjoys hot cocoa every morning to pair watching the sunrise from the wide windows of his room, reading endless pages on whatever subject anyone would discard because it’s too boring, gloomy library corners no one goes to. Sunny days and hot summer weather, time he can spend outside playing rugby like it’s the only thing to do when it gets too warm. Rowan loves to be top of the class and talking over and over about the experience of human faith. However, there is nothing he enjoys more than being annoying to people that clearly didn’t expect him to because of his heartwarming smile, great looks and straight top grades.

It first hit him when he was still a kid in middle school. Born and raised in Sligo, a small town in northern Ireland, there was nothing to do but spend time with friends on the outskirts of the city, wandering around the green fields with kegged beer and a pack of cigarettes to share. His mother worked endless shifts to put a roof above their heads and the still teenager boy tried to forget reality by hanging out with the same friends he had since nursery. Sure, those boys were nothing like him and wouldn’t be his choice of friendship group if there was the option to choose, but still, there was nothing to do in a small town, neither was it upon him. After all, he didn’t really click with a lot of people; he didn’t even click with those boys on a deep level or anything. They were friends, and that was more than enough to Rowan, a teenage boy that had no family and was desperate for attention in any sort of way. He definitely felt somewhat alienated, but that stuff didn’t matter at eighteen.

He mostly did it because he wasn’t as popular as his few friends. They were all tall, blonde and had their way with girls all around. Meanwhile, Rowan was just their shadow, still loved and cherished but nothing more than that forgotten friend. Being the different one in a small town was harsh, so he found his way fitting in by building up his own reputation. He wasn’t a manwhore or an asshole like his friends. He was just annoying to anyone that treated him differently.

Even after leaving town for college, it stuck to him. After all, attending college at the best academy of the United Kingdom under a scholarship was no different than growing up as the different one back in a small, country town - he still had to find his way, and nothing more comfortable than sticking to his somehow perfect technique from back in the day. Rowan was going to annoy whoever challenged him. Sure, he was a nice guy, wore his smile with pride and greeted everyone good day, but he wouldn’t lose his future to manners. He was determined to be the best and there was no other human being to hold him back, nor have his place.

Soon enough, Rowan added one more thing to his enjoyable activities list. He had summer mornings for the most enjoyable thing ever, but that was before meeting Céline. Moreover, that was before annoying the hell out of her. That, annoying the hell out of the girl that challenged him in every possible way, was his new favorite thing to do. For that, he didn’t spare any efforts on making sure she was properly annoyed every single day as they would always bump into each other around campus. Even when they didn’t, Rowan would sneak into one of her classes just to make her go all red from anger. At some point, he would even wait for her outside her classroom just to escort her to her dorms while showering her with half rude, half flirtatious, annoying suggestions. He liked it because, even though she seemed to want to run away from him, she couldn’t. They were stuck with each other because of their friendship group and Rowan just loved it to have her around everywhere. Again, annoying her was his favorite hobby.

Despite her rudeness and witty comebacks, Rowan took those to build the strength needed to keep up his own good work. Céline was smart enough to get whatever she wanted and, if that was to leave her alone, she would have done it way sooner. She didn’t, and he had that as some kind of weird silver lining. Of course, it was almost confusing to enjoy having someone you claim to hate near you everywhere, but Rowan never worried much about making sense to anyone, not even to himself. Even if it didn’t quite add up, he just liked being around the French girl that hated him just how much he did it back, so he made sure to make her hate him even more. Rowan liked how she would yell at him and bite back. He liked how she would wear those little plaid skirts around campus and scold him for staring at her ass for too long, not even ashamed to hide his intentions. At some point, he even thought she liked being annoyed by him just as much as he had a ball at doing it every single day. He knew her schedule by heart. For annoying timetable purposes, of course.

They have a few classes together, and he loves those more than anything else in the world. Rowan would sit right next to her and stare at her for one or two whole lectures. Even if she didn’t look back or kept her expressions nonchalant to his little smile at the corner of his lips, he kept staring. Céline was the prettiest when fully concentrated, brows furrowed while chewing on her pencil, and the Irish boy was no fool to miss a second of that sight.

That lost autumn afternoon was no different than any other. Rowan sat by the huge window, next to the girl that hated his guts. It was their last class of the day, of the week actually, and he waited to see her the whole afternoon. She wouldn’t leave his head for good, and he thanked all the gods he could think of for it. Again, Céline had that same concentrated expressions combo going on her pretty face Rowan knew by heart. He smiled at her in between random notes he took on a lose piece of paper he had - even though she was quite entertaining, he could double task and wouldn’t handle her his place top of the class just because she was pretty and had the biggest ass he had ever seen. The French girl was completely immersed on whatever their old professor talked about, taking pretty notes on that pink notebook Rowan himself stole from her locker a couple hundred times. He could smell her floral perfume. His eyes surely didn’t leave her lips when she would apply that same fruity chapstick as a habit every once in a while. Rowan hated her for so many things, but he hated her the most for making him want to have her.

The hours went on unnoticed and Rowan didn’t even realize the class was finally over. Actually, he only noticed it when Céline, who had his full attention, started packing her stuff. He woke up from his daydream and started doing the same, but he had nothing to pack. He didn’t even have a bag at all. Standing up for once, Rowan folded his notes and put his small pencil inside his suit jacket pocket before going to her. He loomed over her for some seconds, watching her organize her stuff flawlessly as she wanted to beat him so bad at his own game. He wouldn’t allow it, however. She didn’t give him the time of the day, and Rowan was definitely annoyed, missing her yelling at him for nonsense.

Without thinking twice or speaking any word, Rowan tapped her spring water bottle that rested peacefully on the table. He made sure to ruin not only the notes from that class, but her whole notebook as the water made the pages stick together. When Céline looked at him, he was smiling. Finally, he picked the almost empty bottle up, drinking the rest of liquid that remained there. She was red angry again, and he loved that on her.

Her tone was music to his ears. She was finally talking back at him, biting back. My wild thing, I love when you bite back, he thought to himself. “Of course I did that on purpose, silly billy. Why would you even ask?” He answered in a shrug, putting the bottle down to tap her nose in a somewhat caring way, like she was a child. “I thought you’d be used to it by now, pretty girl. What is wrong with us these days?” Shaking his head to the sides in a disappointed expression, he analyzed her head to toe, folding his arms. “Come on, won’t you say you hate me so much for this? I somewhat miss it. You seem kinda off, actually. Need help relaxing? I am top of the class.”

Finally reaching her ruined notebook, Rowan closed it after making sure some more pages were ruined as he didn’t spare the chance to rip some soaked, fragile pieces of paper apart. “That’s surely ruined, isn’t it?” That same defiant smile lit up his face. He was high on the way she looked down at him, clearly annoyed. “No worries, sweet girl, you can have my notes. Why don’t we hit the dorms together?” Looking her in the eyes, Rowan brushed some rebel hair behind her ear. “I’ll make it comfortable to you while we study, I promise. You can even strip naked if you like, as your clothes clearly want you out of them very badly.” Your tits are begging for help out of this stupid tight shirt and your ass is peeking out as always, that’s what he meant. He just wasn’t going to give her the time of the day.

Rowan sighed. “Well, sorry for the notebook. It was surely on purpose.” His tone mocked her in every possible way. “You’re more than welcome to join me tonight, if you’d like. You know where I’ll be.” And just like that, he kissed her left cheek, long enough for him to imagine what it’d be like to kiss her lips, or maybe the tanned skin that begged to be kissed by him. Rowan walked to the door with no rush, turning back once more before leaving. “Also, I don’t like this perfume you’re using now. Change it for the next time I come to annoy you, will you?” He winked at her. “Don’t be shy to join me tonight, sweet girl. I’ll wait.” And he left, just like that. He knew she wouldn’t show up, or at least she never did, as he asked every single day, but he hoped she would. Everyday, Rowan wished Céline would.

[redteabaron]

The three gods and their lots - (three heads of the dragon)

Contains meta below the cut as well as possible interpretations and theories and speculation. I feel like I should also add a disclaimer that no, I don’t think Targaryens are gods incarnate, this is just examining mythological aspects in their stories and characters and finding commonalities. (I only respect one mortal turning into a god and that is Bran) 

The major three gods of the Greek pantheon were: Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. They drew lots and shared dominion over the world - Zeus was god of the sky and king of the gods, Poseidon was god of the sea, and Hades was the god of the Underworld. Three dominions, three gods. 

“The dragon has three heads.” - Daenerys IV, ACOK 

Aegon/Zeus

“I have. Why should I go running to my aunt as if I were a beggar? My claim is better than her own. Let her come to me...in Westeros.” - Aegon, The Lost Lord, ADWD

The lesson began with languages. Young Griff spoke the Common Tongue as if he had been born to it, and was fluent in High Valyrian, the low dialects of Pentos, Tyrosh, Myr, and Lys, and the trade talk of sailors. … Geometry followed languages. There the boy was less adroit, but Haldon was a patient teacher…” - Tyrion IV, ADWD

“...Yandry said we ought to throw you back, but the lad forbade it.” 

The prince. - Tyrion VI, ADWD

Upon his birth, Zeus had to be spirited away from his father, Cronus, who had swallowed his siblings and hidden so he could escape the fate of his siblings. He would later grow, revolt against his father, and regurgitate his siblings. After drawing lots, Zeus would be given dominion over the sky and be named king of the gods. 

Zeus was affiliated with protection, authority, righteous rule, battle, and justice. He was considered a fair protector and ruler, but not above petty jealousy or anger (or amorousness). 

Aegon, in what little we have seen from him, is actually groomed from a young age to rule. He doesn’t have the hands-on experiences several other characters are thusly put through in the books, but it is very clear he knows what is expected of him, has the knowledge required for the position, and has a good claim to the throne - one that is seemingly preordained, as Zeus’s was foretold before his father swallowed his children. 

Aegon’s connection to the red comet seen on the day of his birth can be loosely traced to Zeus’s mastery over the sky itself (where the sky reflects a point of significance to both Zeus’s temper or demands, so did Aegon’s birth seemingly coincide with the prophecy of the prince that was promised). 

“Young Griff”/Aegon had similarly been spirited away as Zeus had during a time of catastrophe when his claim would threaten another (where instead of a stone wrapped in swaddling, Aegon’s escape was tendered by Varys switching him with another baby) and raised in secrecy, despite being the rightful heir of a kingdom. It’s not Cronus he was hidden from or his actual father, but Robert Baratheon who is hellbent on wiping out the entire line of Targaryens, even agreeing to Tywin’s methods (whether or not he ordered the Mountain to do what he did to Elia and the children doesn’t matter; he was the Mountain’s lord, and so at best he just insinuated ‘do what you want’ very well knowing what Gregor was like). Not so different from Cronus, who, desperate to keep his power, swallowed all of his children.  

In text he’s shown to be a little impatient in his desire to be taken seriously and not be coddled by Griff (but honestly he’s 16 and every teenager everywhere in the history of anybody can be impatient and a little overdramatic; Tyrion is briefly reminded of Joffrey when Aegon throws a tantrum over cyvasse, but Tyrion is shown to not like a lot of people for various reasons, so). However, he has a fantastic grip on his studies, in particular language and history, and we can infer that he has an interest in ruling that goes well beyond ‘it sounds like fun’ (Robert Baratheon’s quote that he never felt so alive as when he was winning the war, and never so dead after it was won comes to mind), at least from what we know from Varys and Griff, and a bit from Tyrion. 

But aside from the impatience we see from him, he shows compassion and an unwillingness to forget kindness when he refuses to let Tyrion drown after Tyrion saves him from a stone-man. From the Tyrion chapters in ADWD, we see Aegon laugh quite freely, is at ease among people of a different station from him; we actually get the idea that even if he can be a little immature, he shows a lot of promise for rule and justice.  

One of the more interesting connections between he and Zeus is the fact that there is some debate as to whether Zeus is the youngest or the oldest of his siblings since he was never swallowed by his father (who technically, after he regurgitated them, also gave ‘birth’ to the swallowed siblings) - and there is understandable debate as to whether Aegon is really Aegon. It could go either way; they are Schrödinger's brother and represent a puzzle, a possible paradox (I do actually believe Aegon is the real deal; if Ned can smuggle out a secret-baby from a tower across a battlefield with only his buddy from the swamps, Varys could certainly have arranged a switch).  

And associating Aegon with justice, imo, isn’t a stretch - particularly when we’ll get to see him gain some traction outside of Jon Connington’s influence (who just likes to hate on the Martells because he’s a Rhaegar fanboy don’t @ me) and we see him meet Arianne. Jon C only sees Rhaegar in Aegon because all Jon C can ever see is Rhaegar; once we move beyond Jon C’s immediate and constant influence over Aegon (and him trying to shape him as Rhaegar 2.0) we’ll see Aegon have the opportunity to connect directly with his Martell side. I believe there’s a good chance we’ll see Aegon seek out, and speak about it, justice for his mother and sibling especially given that he’ll have a positive Martell influence at his side. We just haven’t had the opportunity yet. (And Zeus was always associated with righteous authority and justice). 

It’s not a huge hint, but there is also the connection Zeus has with gryphons; in a translation of Prometheus Bound by Aeschylus, Prometheus has a warning for Io “Beware of the sharp-beaked hounds of Zeus that do not bark, gryphons”. Gryphons/griffins are also said to pull Zeus’s chariots. Jon C is undoubtedly the guard dog that stands ready at Aegon’s side and manages to ‘carry’ him in a sense to Griffin’s Roost (poor influence on him notwithstanding, I can’t really cast aside the fact that he is loyal to Aegon, regardless of the reasons why). 

Admittedly, Aegon is definitely much milder than Zeus with his flaws microscopic compared to the king of gods, but I think a lot of mythology references aren’t word-for-word, and in asoiaf they sometimes pull through less obviously. Casting Aegon as Zeus works specifically for this because of the rule of three, and who I ended up going with for the other two in this meta/theory. 

Zeus was not without his share of flaws and while he was king of the gods, his rule never went unchallenged - chief amongst them to instigate things was Poseidon. Aegon similarly won’t be unchallenged for it. 

Daenerys/Poseidon

“The Dothraki sea,” Ser Jorah Mormont said as he reined to a halt beside her on the top of the ridge. Beneath them, the plain stretched out immense and empty, a vast flat expanse that reached to the distant horizon and beyond. It was a sea, Dany thought. - Daenerys III, AGOT

“...I shall fear the Dothraki the day they teach their horses to run on water.” - Ned, Eddard VIII AGOT

The horse seemed to know her moods, as if they shared a single mind...The Dothraki were a hard and unsentimental people, and it was not their custom to name their animals, so Dany thought of her only as the silver. She had never loved anything so much. - Daenerys III AGOT 

“...I know that somewhere upon the grass, her dragons hatched, and so did she. I know she is proud. How not? What else was left her but pride? I know she is strong. How not? The Dothraki despise weakness. If Daenerys had been weak, she would have perished with Viserys. I know she is fierce. Astapor, Yunkai and Meereen are proof enough of that. She has survived assassins and conspiracies and fell sorceries, grieved for a brother and a husband and a son, trod the cities of the slavers to dust beneath her dainty sandaled feet.” - Tyrion VI, ADWD

Poseidon was lord of horses, god of the sea (and all that it entailed). Upon drawing his lot, he envied Zeus his position as rightful king and challenged him for it several times (conspiring with his siblings at some points), and would often needle his sibling. He was a key deity to pray to for protection, mostly travelers and sailors. He was associated with the sea, storms, earthquakes, and horses. In some stories, he too was smuggled away from Cronus, in others, he was swallowed like his siblings. 

Poseidon’s temperament was known to reflect the sea and storms; he was unruly and seen as a rebel against authority that existed both in the divine realm and the mortal realm. Him being lord of the sea, storms, earthquakes, and horses, reflects a wilder nature. 

While Aegon is seen as the rightful heir to the iron throne (and consequently has the Golden Company with him, lending a further air of credibility to his right since the GC are ‘honorable’) and has a shared mastery of the sky with Zeus (referring to the day of his birth and its connection to the red comet), Dany has been ‘given’ domain over the sea. The Dothraki sea, at any rate, and the Dothraki themselves (who are also known as horselords). While her temperament hasn’t shown itself to quite the extreme Poseidon’s has shown in his tales, she has a connection to the foreshadowing of a storm, of bringing a storm (her name, the day of her birth, repeated connection with the unruliness of her largest dragon Drogon, and indications of her possibly forming an alliance with Euron Greyjoy in the future etc). 

No squall could frighten Dany, though. Daenerys Stormborn, she was called, for she had come howling into the world on distant Dragonstone as the greatest storm in the memory of Westeros howled outside, a storm so fierce that it rippled gargoyles from the castle walls and smashed her father’s fleet to kindling. - Daenerys I, ASOS 

It’s an interesting connection that Dany has with the sea and horses, imo. She’s shown to love the freedom of the sea, of sailing, and she loves horses. Both are associated with freedom to travel and journey, as we see her ecstasy on the back of Drogon flight gives her a similar feeling. It is, I think, reflecting the fact that she isn’t shown to enjoy ruling, but she does enjoy power and victory (and conquering although it’s not so cartoonishly overt). The fact that Ned says there’s nothing to fear so long as the Dothraki never learn how to cross the Narrow Sea on their horses was setting up that they will ‘learn’. 

Dany, cast under Poseidon, as lord of horses and the sea (and journeying), gives them that “opportunity” (one they don’t want or need, desperately). 

While all the gods of the pantheon were guilty of petty meddling and warring with each other and having rivalries, Poseidon was infamous for having disputes with other gods for supremacy and control of other countries. At once point, when Athens chose to follow Athena over him, he flooded them in his outage. Some believed that his anger roused storms, caused earthquakes, and floods. (Again, he was far from the only god to do petty things like this, but he was held up as the one who was infamous for it even as he was also viewed as a protector). 

Dany doesn’t summon any of those things, but there is a buildup of her anger/frustration in the books. Her justice is biased (to say nothing of her hypocrisy in dealing with slavery, in one breath claiming it is abominable, in the next allowing it to happen and partaking a portion of the profit just as the slavers she had ousted did) when she corrects herself to demand that the wineseller’s daughters be questioned more harshly, rather than gently (implying there is torture to follow in the interrogation). 

We see that temper rear its head when she burns Mirri, a victim of the Dothraki who was taken as a slave after being assaulted a number of times, after Drogo dies, when Jorah’s duplicity is revealed to her and she sends he and Barristan into the sewers hoping they’ll die, etc, (not necessarily to say her anger in some of these moments isn’t warranted, but gradually over the course of the books, her frustration becomes more obvious and her solutions bloodier and less focused). 

Poseidon, despite having his own dominion and having drawn the lot for the sea, challenges Zeus for his. He loses, but it isn’t the only time he challenges Zeus, or any other gods, at times enacting terrible vengeance on them or their favored humans. 

Dany and Aegon meeting is pretty inevitable, but there is foreshadowing that they will be at odds. Maybe they’ll meet with the united idea that the Lannisters/Baratheons have to face justice for what was done, but Dany’s idea of a legacy is wrapped up only in the legacy of the Targaryens, and she refuses to consider any other elements that occurred during the Rebellion (her father going mad, why the Starks and Baratheons rebelled, what Rhaegar was at fault for, etc). Aegon at least is implied to listen to Tyrion - he isn’t only blinded by what Jon C undoubtedly has told him - meaning he’ll likely hear Arianne out too, and Jon Snow. Dany has one truth, passed down from Viserys, one legacy. 

Like Poseidon, Dany already isn’t satisfied with her lot, warring over other countries (or conquest, claiming Meereen for her own after Astapor falls to the butcher). She will challenge Aegon for a lot that belongs to him, but I believe that unlike Poseidon, she’ll actually win against him. 

Jon/Hades

Casting Jon as Hades is something I’ve already written about in this meta, so this is just a summary with bits added on. 

When I compared Jon to Hades, I also compared the Night’s Watch being the place when men went and died, metaphorically, they died in the eyes of the realm (no wife, no sons, no land, no glory, etc). I believe that Jon is being groomed for rule in a different way, that is, holding domain over the condemned or forgotten. 

When Aegon and Dany inevitably clash over the throne, the aftermath is going to look like a hellscape. King’s Landing is repeated through the text to be the seat of power, the center of Westeros, multiple times, and with another Dance building up, I think, leads to foreshadowing that it’ll be ruined or on the brink of ruin at the end. It’ll still need someone to rule it, whether through the infant stages of an elective monarchy (it sounds like they’ll need something more than that or it’ll just invite more chaos as though rule can only be achieved through conquest of some kind, particularly for a monarchy) or otherwise. 

Jon has already fallen into an unenviable position. Sure, he gets to be Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch - an order that vows to remain at the Wall, against a horde of undead, with no support besides Stannis, with ‘dead’ men as his subjects. 

Some myths meld Zeus and Hades into the same being existing on different plains. Hades is also known as “Other Zeus” or “Infernal Zeus”; here, where Zeus is the god of living mortals, Hades is the god of the dead souls. 

Aegon is meant to take the Iron Throne and be the ruler over the Seven Kingdoms, in King’s Landing, a place of power, wealth, bounty from other kingdoms, etc. Dany will be his end in the Dance of Dragons and turn that bounty, or its possibility, into a wasteland. I don’t doubt people will still be alive, but it’ll be a place of ruins, and so will quite a few other places. I think Jon will likely kill Dany after the fact, for kinslaying and being a threat to the north and the realm, and thereby becoming a kinslayer himself. 

The gods of Westeros punish kinslaying. Jon, at this point of finding his family and being murdered for being Lord Commander and spending time under threat with the free folk (even if they do get along now) will probably just want to go home. Punishment for kinslaying will be for him to hold another position no one wants; the throne. Where when Aegon is set to take it, the kingdoms are in chaos, he’ll seem like a bright spot with hope, we might see him pay attention to food issues, the chaos, logistics, etc. And then he dies. And then Dany dies. And all that’s left are the survivors - those seemingly forgotten and condemned to this place afflicted by war and famine -, and Jon. His punishment for kinslaying (and maybe making mistakes with Dany) will not be able to go home, or be made to take up a post at the Watch; he’s condemned, once again, to the people who’ll seem more dead than alive after everything that’s occurred. 

Jon’s duty was, and will continue to be, to the condemned.

[thezodiaczone]

Aquarius Compatibility

AQUARIUS + ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19) ♥♥♥♥ You're laugh-a-minute friends who make a fine comedic duo, but the romance isn't as hearty as your side-splitting guffaws. You're amazed by how quickly the other delivers a hilarious comeback or a clever opinion, and it turns you on. Banter leads you to the bedroom fast, where the sex is playful and experimental (though not heavy on the emotional connection). It's as though you've met your twin; and alas, you may soon feel more like siblings than lovers. After a couple weeks, the Bickersons sideshow routine gets old, especially for Aries, and you run out of things to talk about. While casual Aquarius likes to keep the conversation light, Aries has intense, brooding spells that demand way too much emotional attention. For Aquarius, problems are solved with steely logic or left alone, but Aries is unable to curb obsessive thinking, which drives Aquarius mad. Your styles of affection are different, too. Cool Aquarius gets overwhelmed by the Ram's passion and physicality—there's way too much touching, grabbing and kissing for the airy Aquarian temperament. If you're determined to be together, push yourselves to go beyond platonic borders by traveling, taking classes, even performing on stage together. Closeness breeds more ennui than affection. Cultivate mystery through time apart. Your independent signs need to develop your own lives, then reunite with thrilling tales from the road.

AQUARIUS + TAURUS (APRIL 20 - MAY 20) Your signs have so little in common, it's hard to make a go of this. Old-fashioned Taurus craves tradition, order and security. Rebel Aquarius is an oddball who lives to defy rules and convention. Taurus is an Earth sign who plants deep roots; Air sign Aquarius is an adventurous nomad who goes wherever the wind blows. While you may start out fascinated by each other, the magic ends faster than you can say "pixie dust." Taurus will quickly offend Aquarius with his heavy-handed opinions and staunch political views. Free-spirited Aquarius will flee from the Bull's possessive grip, which only clenches tighter the more Aquarius flits about. Then there's the matter of your social circles, which rarely overlap. Aquarius habitually befriends the most eccentric people—the corner wino who's solved the string theory, the local fortune teller, his bus driver. While Taurus may humor these characters in passing, all hell breaks loose when Aquarius invites his tribe of wayward souls to spend the weekend, or to sleep on the couch "until they get their act together." Not on Taurus' leather club chair and alpaca throw pillows! You can try to compromise, but you'll only end up short-changing your natural gifts. Aquarius rules the zodiac's eleventh house of friends and society; he's the unofficial mayor wherever he goes, and is meant to spread himself among the people. Homebody Taurus has much more earthbound goals. Neither of you will get the satisfaction you crave unless you work hard to compromise.

AQUARIUS + GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20) ♥♥♥♥ This match of compatible Air signs can feel a bit like high school romance—teasing, texting, movie dates with jumbo popcorn and licentious groping during the previews. You bring out each other's breezy, buoyant spirits, and that's a plus. You'll bond over TV shows, favorite sci-fi novels and superheroes, obscure philosophers, music. With your clever comebacks and verbal repartee, you could take a comedy act on the road. Although you can both be overly cerebral at times, you prefer laughter and light conversation to emotional melodrama. Eventually, though, you need to get out of the shallow end of the pool. Intimacy is a challenge for your signs. We're talking true intimacy—being caught with your pants down and no clue how to get them back up. Telling each other your entire life stories in monologue form (which could have happened on the first date) doesn't count. You must soldier through the post-infatuation "awkward phase," or you'll end up feeling like buddies. That would be a shame, as you can make excellent life partners and playmates. The biggie: you'll both need to give up fibs and lies—particularly lies of omission. You're excellent storytellers and politicos, gifted at crafting a spin to fit your agenda. However, the naked truth is the only way out of the Matrix. Though it may topple your PR-friendly public image, it's a necessary risk you must take to build the character and depth of a lasting commitment.

AQUARIUS + CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22) This oddball match is as fascinating and perplexing as a Proenza Schouler pump—and like the highbrow fashion house, few understand its power. Here we have Cancer, sentimental and family-oriented, possessive, anchored by deep roots and tradition. Mix in Aquarius, the sci-fi nomad, a butterfly escaping the net of convention, laughing with you and at you all at once. How on earth…? This is a coupling that doesn't happen often, and for good reason. Cool Aquarius doesn't need much affection, and Cancer withers without physical touch. The Crab clutches his loved ones in powerful pincers, and scuttles after Aquarius, practically begging for love. Naturally, free-spirited Aquarius feels smothered and trapped by these demands for intimacy, and constructs little trap doors everywhere—a basketball team, a drama class, a post on city council. Yet, when wounded Cancer withdraws into his shell, Aquarius is suddenly intrigued. Where did my lifeline go? What Aquarius takes for granted is Cancer's loyalty, which can resemble a mother's love for her troubled teen. The Crab can see the vulnerable child underneath the surly bravado. Beyond that, you owe each other a karmic debt so profound, you can't even articulate it. Explains one Aquarius, who's been with her Cancer mate for 35 years: "I've learned that sometimes you have to do what the other person likes, even if you don't like it." In other words, if you want to stay together, eat your broccoli. You'll certainly grow in spirit and character. Sometimes, your soul needs a challenge more than a smoothly-paved road.

AQUARIUS + LEO (JULY 23 - AUGUST 22) These opposite signs can be volatile match. Leo is the sign of the self, a born star and showstopper who commands attention wherever he goes. Aquarius rules the zodiac's eleventh house of groups and society—he's both the class president and its rabble-rousing radical. You're competitive spotlight-grabbers who can fight dirty, especially as you jostle to outdo each other. Case in point: Leo Whitney Houston and Aquarius Bobby Brown. Their destructive, drug-addled marriage brought Whitney's singing career to its knees. Yet, Leo is a hopeless romantic filled with haughty pride, standing loyally by a mate, fiddling while Rome burns. You both spark each other's jealousy, Leo by flirting with everyone in sight, Aquarius by treating his bazillion friends as though they're on equal par with Leo (they are). Leo is needy, demanding constant attention, but cool-headed Aquarius feels smothered by too much affection and togetherness. Aquarius will listen patiently to Leo's dramas, but only to a point. Leo must keep a stable of supportive friends on hand, and not turn the relationship into an exhausting soap opera script. Aquarius will need to show a little more emotion (besides anger) and tenderness, stepping aside to allow Leo's star to shine.

AQUARIUS + VIRGO (AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22) To say you're an odd couple is an understatement—and there certainly will be odds to beat. Just figuring each other out could take years, and it might not end well. (Remember tabloid train-wrecks Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, or Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?) Judgmental Virgo is an introverted Earth sign with a habit of thinking too much. Breezy Aquarius, a carefree Air sign, is the unofficial town mayor, best friend to everyone from the street sweeper to the CEO. While you complement each other in some ways, your lifestyles are very different. Virgo likes time alone with his books and thoughts, while social Aquarius rarely misses a party and can't be bothered to take life as seriously as Virgo does. Where can you come together? You both like to help people in need, and you're passionate about social change, especially through responsible business practices. Saving the planet is a particular passion for your environmentalist signs. You're as likely to meet at a drum circle as you are at a conference on climate control, or volunteering in the Peace Corps. In fact, this relationship is most likely to succeed if you have a larger common vision. Why not funnel your ideals into a successful enterprise? Go start an eco-village, or open a raw juice bar in an up-and-coming neighborhood—Virgo can grow organic produce in a backyard plot. It will stop Virgo from nagging and nosing into Aquarius's affairs, and will keep restless Aquarius from feeling smothered.

AQUARIUS + LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22) ♥♥♥♥ You're one of the zodiac's easiest matches: just two carefree Air signs breezing through life with a full roster of friends, travels and adventures. Together, it's twice the fun. Although Libra is more the dashing diva/dandy and Aquarius the quirky Bohemian, your sunny social dispositions pair well. Every stranger is greeted by your hail-fellow-well-met embrace, and you collect friends wherever you go. Indeed, you may meet while chatting at the cheese counter, lounging poolside on the Riviera, or in a dog park scene reminiscent of an Ephron rom-com (picture Aquarius' retriever pouncing on Libra's dainty teacup terrier—what a metaphor). Your conversational chemistry guarantees a great first date, even if the prevailing vibe is platonic. If you hit it off, you'll host lavish parties with an eclectic mix of Aquarius' artsy, leftist comrades and Libra's highbrow circle, bringing them all together with panache. Caution: your casual natures can impede intimacy. In private, you can both be moody, making pouty, indirect plays for affection and sex. Aquarius is also far less romantic than Libra, at least in the traditional sense. That humanitarian bent will clash with Libra's caviar wishes (animal cruelty!) and fondness of bling (blood diamonds!). Most days, you take those differences in stride. Having a lifelong playmate is worth it.

AQUARIUS + SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21) Years after their modern-day Mrs. Robinson relationship ricocheted the term "cougar" into cliché-dom, the Scorpio-Aquarius pairing of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher can still baffle the naked eye. Scorpio is an intense, seductive creature with ruthless ambition, eagle instincts and a complicated psyche. Aquarius is a silly prankster and a cold-souled nomad who avoids emotion, then releases it in embarrassing blurts of sloppy sentiment. You're certainly an odd couple, down to your values, style and interests. Then there's the power issue to settle. Scorpio wants ultimate control over everything, while rebel Aquarius chafes at any restraint. While Aquarius is happy to hand rulership of the household to Scorpio, any breach of personal freedom will be an instant deal-breaker. Possessive Scorpio must accept that Aquarius is a social creature with friends from all walks of life, and curb the jealousy. Aquarius will need to cut off a few friends (the ex you met at a strip club, the swingers "who are actually really cool") and adopt a few of Scorpio's interests, like Kaballah for Ashton. So where's the click? Different as you are, you both prefer a mate who's hard to figure out: it staves off boredom. To keep this strong, borrow each other's strengths. Aquarius needs Scorpio's depth, and Scorpio lightens up from Aquarius' outrageous jokes and impersonations.

AQUARIUS + SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21) ♥♥♥♥ Sagittarius and Aquarius are two of the most free-spirited signs, whose joie de vivre and starry-eyed idealism make you perfect playmates. The "best friends with benefits" label was practically invented for you. Finally, someone who cherishes independence as much as you do! Like Sagittarius Brad Pitt and Aquarius Jennifer Aniston (who shared a hair colorist), you may even look like siblings. It's all so beautiful—until one of you messes up the party by demanding a commitment. Strangely enough, you remain loyal while the terms of the relationship are vague, sneaking out of work for mid-afternoon trysts and leaving with carpet burn. You both love the feeling of "getting away with something," the adventure of the unexpected. Yet, once it becomes an obligation rather than a choice, your libido nosedives. You've now killed off the very thing that attracted you to each other: no-strings attached excitement. Instead of trysting the night away, you're hosting Scrabble tournaments and turning in early. Boring. Because you're so alike, you'll need to work hard to keep each other interested for the long haul. Mix it up by developing separate friends, hobbies and interests—then come back and share your adventurous tales with each other.

AQUARIUS + CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19) This is the match of the traditionalist and the rebel, the rule-maker and the rule-breaker. Capricorn is the guardian of history, and Aquarius is an innovator who has little regard for the past. If you can meet somewhere in the present, it's sure to be interesting. Disciplined Capricorn can teach Aquarius the value of structure, and Aquarius can help Cap think outside the box. You're both competitive and controlling in your own ways, and few signs can rival your work shared work ethic. The wheeler-dealer light never switches off in either of you—you'll hand out business cards at a funeral. Still, you might be better off as professional partners, since your bedside manner is so different. Lusty Capricorn may be aloof in public, but this sensual Earth sign is a bona fide freak in the sheets. Although Aquarius may love to shock people in public, behind closed doors your interest in sex can be tepid at best. (As the ruler of electricity, gadgets may be preferable.) Socially, Capricorn can be cold or snobbish, choosing friends based on status. Popular Aquarius befriends everyone—don't be surprised if the Chinese food delivery guy ends up at the dinner table sharing your Hunan chicken. Still, Capricorn can be an important grounding force for Air-sign Aquarius, preventing you from floating off into the ether. Life is never dull with an unpredictable Aquarian.

AQUARIUS + AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18) Aquarius is the sign of friendship, which would be perfect if you were looking for a platonic pal. But…you're not. Which means you're both going to have to get pretty damn uncomfortable to pass Go and enter the spine-chilling waters of commitment. Intimacy is not your strong suit, and heavy emotions make you break out in hives. Although you may have your own personal guru and swami, spirituality is just an escape hatch—a way of convincing yourself that you're "above" all those petty feelings that mere mortals have. Rather than connect deeply, you compensate with charm, impish pranks or your Obama-watt smile (he's got an Aquarius rising). Trouble is, the funny-guy shtick doesn't work with each other. There are better matches, to be sure—at least ten or eleven of them. Your only hope is working together on a shared humanitarian vision. Love could bloom as you defend labor union picket lines, toss paint on fur-wearing fashionistas, or grow your own medicinal marijuana. At least you'll have something to talk about instead of your feelings. Then…only then…you might just give this piece a chance.

AQUARIUS + PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20) Old and new come together in an interesting combination. Pisces is an ancient velvet boudoir with dripping candles and fainting couches; Aquarius is a modern, steel-and-glass construction heated by solar panel. Yet, this strange match can work if it's built around a shared cause or passion. You're both die-hard humanitarians, and if you share a common vision, you'll stay together for life. Pisces is a Water sign, more emotional and complex in nature than Aquarius. Contrary to myth, Aquarius is an Air sign (not Water), though it's symbolized by the water-bearer holding an urn. The lighter Aquarian touch lifts Pisces out of the murky, depressive swamp, while enchanting Pisces adds tassels and trim to Aquarius' cold, clinical reality. You both morbidly fear being trapped in a boring, conventional commitment. Since you can never really figure each other out, the attraction stays strong. A little mystery will keep you fascinated, though too much (ahem, Pisces) will make the relationship way too much work for Aquarius.

[chanagun]

Soft Hearts Electric Souls

Fandom: Why R U the Series Pairing: Saifah/Zon

Summary:

The first time Zon ended up in the cramped tattoo parlor, it was because of his friends' oh-so-clever dare to get something pierced. The rest of his visits definitely didn’t have anything to do with the (handsome) piercing artist.

AO3 

——

Saifah actually heard the group before seeing them. 

Day was on desk duty for the hour, so Saifah had been upstairs, going back and forth between chairs and doing his best to crack jokes and distract the clients as Tutor and Hwahwa created artwork on their skin. 

Tutor had a regular client, adding another chunk to his growing sleeve and Hwahwa worked on a walk-in, her classic script stretching across the client’s collarbone. Saifah loved watching his friends in their element. 

Which was disrupted, as mentioned, by the sound of the chime on the door followed by what sounded like fifteen dudes all laughing and talking over each other. Saifah frowned slightly before excusing himself from Tutor’s booth to help Day with the assumed influx of customers. 

Their shop was an odd set up, being in a row of other squeezed-together buildings in a busy college town. Patrons were greeted immediately in the waiting room with pieces of tattered furniture they haven’t had the heart to replace and the reception desk against the stairs. The piercing station was a back office they gutted and converted. They didn't have a second floor as much as they had a loft that they macgyvered into the sterile tattoo booths, so everything was quite open; it wasn’t ideal but it was theirs. They put a lot of work into it and it was definitely a source of pride. 

The openness of their shop also helped with gaging the customers from afar.

To his surprise, as he walked down the wooden stairs, he found that the bold entrance noise came from only five men. All of them looked up expectantly at him as he heard Day explain that Saifah was their piercer while pointing up at him. 

Four of the guys looked at him with shit-eating grins and one looked at him with absolute terror. Saifah knew how he looked outwardly; he had a dozen holes in his ears and a few in his face and he had tattoos peeking out from everywhere his shirt didn’t quite reach. His favorite, a painted bat with wings outstretched ( Kerivoula picta , Tutor would remind him after spending diligent hours on it) decorated his neck with a shocking burst of color and a sharp snarl at anyone shorter than him. Saifah watched the one man visibly gulp when he finally joined Day at the counter and he couldn’t help the half smile form on his lips.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Saifah started, “I heard my services were needed?” The one man was not looking him in the eye, but instead directly at his throat. Saifah couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed like he was shaking in his metaphorical boots. 

One of his friends slapped his shoulder, making him jump a mile, before saying “Our Zon here would like to get his ears pierced!” 

“Oi, Junior-“ the guy, Zon, snapped as he elbowed his friend in the gut. 

“Yeah, he looks super excited to do that,” Saifah replied easily.

“I am!” Zon quipped adamantly.

Saifah knew he was being a prick, but couldn’t help it as he raised an eyebrow and let out an unimpressed chuckle. “Sure. Anyone else getting stabbed today?” He asked the rest of the guys in the same cocky tone and received negative murmurs in response. “Righto, come on back Mr. Zon and I’ll set everything up.” To which he received a tight nod from Zon and stifled laughter from the rest. 

Saifah motioned Zon to follow him to his station but paused when the whole hoard of men started coming too. “Ah, the love fest is really cute but the room is not that big, guys,” Saifah explained.

“I can come by myself,” Zon said, and sent a sharp glare at each of his friends, “they just want to see me suffer anyway.” Saifah let out a chuckle, and continued to the back, now only being followed by one. Saifah motioned to the cushioned stool in the middle of the room and Zon sat obediently. 

“First things first Mr. Zon, we have to get some paperwork done,” Saifah explained, grabbing one of the clipboards, “and I hope you have your ID on you or else this’ll be pretty embarrassing.” 

“Of course I have my ID,” Zon huffed in response before pulling out his wallet. Saifah let Zon hold it up to his face as he recorded his necessary details on the paper.

“Alright, so you gotta read all these bullet points and initial each line on the left here,” Saifah told him, turning the clipboard around and handing him the pen, “let me know if you have any questions, but I’m going to get the station ready.” 

“This is a lot more … official than I thought,” Zon mumbed, making Saifah pause.

“It is surprising to some people that we are a legitimate business,” Saifah replied even though Hwahwa’s voice nagged in this head about not being so sarcastic with customers. Saifah risked a glance at the guy.

He was frowning, sitting the paperwork with his initials before saying, “That’s not what I meant, I just didn’t actually know what to expect.” He held out the clipboard to hand back to Saifah. 

He took it, but kept a strong gaze on Zon. “Why are you here, dude? You don’t seem well-informed, nor excited to be getting this done.” 

Zon cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “My friends dared me. I don’t want to seem weak or anything,” he explained in a huff. 

Saifah considered his words. He placed the clipboard back down and pulled up his own stool to sit right in front of Zon. The action seemed to unsettle Zon more, but that didn’t deter Saifah. “Are you sure you actually want to? Listen, the basis of this business is all ‘fight the man, rebell, mod your bod’ and everything but it’s about living for yourself, too. You think my parents wanted me to open a tattoo shop with my hooligan friends?” Zon laughed lightly at his statement, “I can scare your friends off if you really don’t want this, man. I’ve heard I’m intimidating.” 

Zon cocked his head to the side, a smile still faint on his lips. “Nah, you’re just tall,” he joked, “Clearly you’re a softie or else you would have just stabbed me and taken my money.” Saifah snorted at that. “And I… I still want the piercings. Not for my friends’ benefit, I’ve just actually wanted to get them for a while. Needles aren’t really my favorite thing but they look cool.”

“I bet I’m the coolest person you’ve ever seen then, huh?” Saifah asked, wiggling his eyebrows, which just made Zon roll his eyes. “So, studs or rings?” 

“What do you suggest?” 

Saifah hummed, “Studs. Rings are cool but it’s harder to heal when you’re pierced with rings. Also, in my opinion, captive beads suck.” 

“Studs it is then,” Zon replied. 

Saifah flashed a smile before turning back to his counter. He could feel that Zon was more at ease so he popped on some gloves and disinfected his tray. He collected his sterile supplies before turning back around. “I’m going to mark your ears and you can tell me if you like the placement.” Zon just nodded. 

The rest of the process came easily to Saifah, my muscle memory taking over. Zon gasped during the first but only winced for the second. 

“Already done! You did great.”

“Thanks,” Zon replied, smiling into the hand mirror. 

“You can head back up to the front desk and Day can ring you up. Pleasure doing business with you, Zon,” Saifah told him as he worked to clean his station up again. He couldn’t help but watch him go.

.

.

Zon took a deep breath. He could do this. He did it before and he could do it again. 

He stood outside the tattoo parlor, under the dark green awning to escape the blazing sun, pumping himself up to go inside. With no friends forcing him, it was taking longer than it should. 

He knew what to expect this time, and that was making it even harder than before. Not piercing pain wise, but tall, handsome piercer wise. That wasn’t why he was going back, obviously. He just kind of really dug his earrings and the piercer, Saifah, had had a really cool piercing in his eyebrow and Zon couldn’t seem to get it out of his head. 

He wanted to at least ask Saifah what he thought about getting one himself. His feet just weren’t cooperating. 

Zon jumped out of his train of thought when his phone chimed in his pocket. He let out a breath, glad to be out of his head when he pulled up the text. Zol had sent him a message asking him what he wanted for dinner, since she was going out shopping with their mom. He smiled typing out his reply and finally felt back in the right mindset to go inside.

He wasn’t expecting to see an upside-down Saifah laying (incorrectly) on the couch, strumming apparently absentmindedly on an acoustic guitar. 

“Um, hello?” 

Saifah glances towards the door, squinting his eyes at Zon. “Ah!” He exclaimed before placing the guitar next to him on the couch. “Welcome back.” Zon raised an eyebrow in surprise, not expecting the piercer to remember him at all. “Is everything healing okay?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” he replied, his hand instinctively going to his neck, just below his ear (where he’d learned to stop himself from touching and irritating his piercings). “I was actually wondering if I could get, like, a consultation for another.” 

Saifah raised his brow (Zon assumed, it was hard to tell from upside down) in surprise before somehow gracefully flipping over to stand (Zon pointedly tried not to look when his shirt rode up and- are those nipple piercings ?) and greeted Zon for real. “What were you thinking?”

Zon, who was definitely not flustered, swallowed hard and met his gaze, “I really like your…” he said, pointing at his own eyebrow.

“Ah,”Saifah smiled, “an eyebrow piercing. It was one of my first ones,” he reached a hand out towards Zon’s face but stopped short, “Do you mind if I?” Zon shook his head no, letting Saifah continue his movement. His fingers were gentle against Zon’s face, just lightly touching the skin above his brow, before giving him a little pinch. 

“Hey!” 

“Sorry! Just seeing if you can deal with the pain,” he explained.

“I wasn’t ready! And you know I don’t care if it hurts,” Zon huffed in response, making Saifah grin again. 

“Okay, okay,” he said with his hands up in surrender, “if you’re interested, I think you have the perfect browline for a horizontal instead of a vertical. I’ll knock some off the price if you let me do that instead,” he finished, punctuated with another toothy smile.

Zon bit his lip before answering, “Can you show me what that would look like?” 

Saifah nodded excitedly before leading Zon to the front desk and pulling both stools up to the laptop. They spent ten minutes, shoulder to shoulder, sitting at the desk, Saifah pulling up different images for Zon to consider. Within two minutes Zon had decided he loved it, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching Saifah excitedly find new ones to show him. 

“What do you think?” 

Zon looked up, met with Saifah’s bright eyes, and he couldn’t help smile. “Yeah, dude it looks sick. I’m down for it.” 

Saifah smiles so brightly in response, his eyes almost closed. And Zon could feel his heart in his throat, thinking cute , how was this man covered in tattoos and piercings ( including nipple piercings his mind supplied) so cute ?

Zon quickly found himself back on the same cushioned stool in the back room as his first visit, going through paperwork with Saifah. He felt more at ease the second time around. 

Like Saifah could read his mind, he stated, “you seem much more chill this time. Is it because you know what to expect or because your friends aren’t here this time?” he asked, voice light, presumably so Zon knew he was mostly joking around.

“A mix of both I guess. My friends are great, but… sometimes they’re not,” he chuckled. 

“I think that’s true for most friends,” Saifah agreed, “mine have been on lunch break for like two hours at this point,” he said while glancing at his wrist. His tone wasn’t unfriendly, rather it seemed fond. “Tutor has the day off, since he and his boyfriend work at the foodbank on Thursdays, but Hwahwa and Day, the other artists, think they’re so slick.”

Zon furrowed his brow, “you’re the only one here?” 

Saifah nodded, “they didn’t have any appointments scheduled until the evening so I’m sure they thought their sneaky secret date would go unnoticed. But I’ve got a keen eye.”

Zon chuckled at that, “the most keen eye if they thought you wouldn’t notice being left alone in the shop.”

“Oh, he’s cracking jokes! Careful, try and remember who is stabbing who today, my Zon.” Saifah teased. 

A sudden wave of heat hit Zon- from his neck to the tips of his ears. He scrambled, trying to  come up with a retort to hide his fluster, but Saifah took it in stride, turning to sanitize his station. He hummed a familiar tune that Zon couldn’t exactly place, but he was kind of mesmerized. Saifah was gentle and yet so diligent with his work.He’d done a bit more research for this visit and he read plenty of horror stories online about dirty shops and artists that didn’t care, so he was glad his friends just happened to stumble upon Saifah’s shop. 

“Ready?” Saifah asked, tone low, and genuine , Zon noted. 

He nodded, a lazy smile finding its place on his face. Saifah returned the grin and took the clean marker with a gloved hand. Zon relaxed at the familiar steps and let Saifah do what he clearly knew how to do best. 

Needless to say, it hurt quite a bit more than his ears.

“Tears are normal, you know,” Saifah reassured as he handed Zon a tissue,  “It’s close to your eye, so it’s a natural reaction. Just in case you were still worried about seeming weak or something, don’t be,” he clarified. “On a completely unrelated note, I cried like a baby when I got the tattoo on my neck,” he pointed at the (frankly terrifying) bat on his throat, “and when I got the one on my hip. And the one that wraps around my foot, oh my god-”

“Okay, okay,” Zon said, laughing lightly despite the well of tears in his eyes. He sniffed, “Thank you.” He wanted to say more; more about his kindness, more about toxic masculinity, more about anything but Saifah handed him the hand mirror then. “Wow.”

“Wow as in what a great job it looks fantastic or wow as in this is terrible and I’m going to slash your tires as soon as I’m out of here?”

“Has that happened?”

“Of course not! I’m very talented.” Zon laughed, still admiring the work. “Wow as in I didn’t think it would make me look this… hot?”

His sentiment seemed to tickle Saifah, causing him to let out a laugh too. “I can confirm, you definitely look hot.”

Zon coughed, seemingly choking on nothing before hurriedly asking, “so how much do I owe you?”

.

.

“We should start some sort of punch card system.” Saifah peeked up from his guitar, ready to shoot Tutor a skeptical look, but he continued, “I think your guy with the ‘eyebrows for days’ would appreciate it, since he’s back. Again.”

“What?”

Tutor didn’t answer, just smiled his devilish grin as the door chimed and a person came into the shop. Saifah whipped his attention to the door, cracking his neck in the process.

Zon let out a snort, “don’t hurt yourself, geez,” he joked. The midday sun glinted off the still somewhat fresh barbell in his eyebrow and Saifah could faint.  

“Welcome!” Tutor called from the desk, “how can we help you today?”

“Oh, um,” he faltered, eyes shifting from Tutor to Saifah, back to Tutor, “I wanted to get a piercing.”

“Ah, so Saifah and I are both certified for piercings-”

“Tutor, I can take care of him,” Saifah said, straining. Evil. His best friend was evil. Saifah quickly led Zon to the counter, glad to see that smile return to his face. “Didn’t Hwahwa say she may need some help with her back piece client?” 

“Oh how could I forget!” Tutor overdramatically replied before rushing to the base of the stairs, “and please consider those punch cards, dude!” he called as he took two steps at a time. 

“Is he… usually like that?”

“Unfortunately,” Saifah replied, immediately followed by a burst of laughter from Hwahwa and Tutor upstairs. He grimaced.

“Anyway! How are you?” Zon asked with a curious smile and (that goddamn) eyebrow quirked. 

“I’ve been pretty good,” Saifah started, “I was beginning to wonder if my favorite customer was ever going to show back up again, so I was slightly down in the dumps for a bit.” “Oh? So you do get regulars,” he paused, seemingly considering this, “Did they come around?” Saifah nodded excitedly, making Zon’s smile even brighter, “That’s great! What did they get done?”

“I don’t know. What were you looking to get done today?”

Saifah was met with the biggest eye roll he’s ever seen, so he laughed. “Seriously, what are you interested in?”

“Ah, I was actually going to see what you thought would look good,” he answered quickly, looking down at the counter. Saifah raised an eyebrow but he couldn’t help it. He also pointedly ignored the snickering from the top of the stairs.

“Wait, so you didn’t have anything in mind? You wanted to know… what I think would look good?”

“I find it hard to believe no one has ever asked for your professional opinion before, dude,” Zon said, tips of his ears turning pink. 

“I… I mean-“

“Anyway, I did do research, I know that dermals aren’t for me, but otherwise I wanted your expertise,” Zon babbled, as Saifah still didn't quite know what to say, “I’ve just really liked how I’ve looked recently and I like how I’ve been more confident and I think you have a bit to do with that, so ,” he took a breath, “what do you think?”

Saifah must have been gaping. He didn’t hear anything from upstairs either; he wasn’t sure what that meant. Zon still wasn’t looking at him. He closed his dumb mouth and cleared his throat. 

“Well, I guess, in my expert opinion,” he started, “I think… you had that confidence in you somewhere already. I just poked some holes in your already very nice looking face.” Saifah caught the edge of Zon’s smile, still mostly hidden from his view. “As for a recommendation, I’d say anything but a lip ring.”

“Oh?” Zon let his gaze drift back up, “why is that?”

“You can’t kiss anyone while it heals,” Saifah answered with a toothy grin. Zon responded by weakly punching him in the arm. 

“Do you always hit on your clients like this?”

“No, just my favorite one. I’m hoping it’ll make him stick around.”

“Tell him about the punch cards!” was yelled from the top of the stairs.

 Saifah ended up giving Zon a helix piercing somewhere in between chasing Tutor out of the building, buying Zon lunch, and a few kisses (sans lip ring).

[afuckingpeasant]

From Mormon to Atheist

Whenever someone says that people don’t change I wonder what stubborn assholes you had the misfortune to meet because I’ve changed so spectacularly from who I used to be that when I begin to tell people my story they look at me in shock. 

I grew up in a household where Fox News was on all the time, Glen Beck had an opinion that mattered, and church and religion were considered the “cornerstone” of my life. I was your average goody-two-shoes Mormon, friendly, smiling brightly to hide how guilt ridden I was. My parents had converted to the faith from Catholicism, and were always asked, everywhere we visited, to tell the story again. For me, it meant a level of pride-- Mormons grow up listening to stories about Joseph Smith trying to find which church was true until a divine vision tells him they’re all wrong and to make his own. The pursuit of truth and being “in the right” was important to our family and, in very real sense, it was this desire that drove me away from Mormonism and religion in general in the end.

We weren’t great Mormons to begin with. Behind closed doors, we enjoyed thriller and sci-fi R rated films, I liked to swear (though I avoided saying fuck & God for years) and we did our best to remain open minded. We loved the Colbert Report and Jon Stewart. I invited my friends to church with me like any mormon kid does, sure, but I had no desire to force them to change or to only be friends with mormon kids, and more often than not I was more comfortable with my nonreligious friends because they didn’t silently judge me. But I tried, ya know? I would read my scriptures and pray and try to do all the things and then wonder why I was so fucking depressed and guilt ridden. I hid my doubts for a long time. I hoped going off to BYU would get rid of them. 

I BYU-Idaho for a single semester. Chemistry major, if you can believe that. I lived in the shadow of the Temple and felt guilty that I never wanted to go inside. Professors led opening and closing prayer in class. I went on dates with boys who were getting ready to leave on their missions and with men who had come back and were antsy to get married. Neither appealed to me. And then, near the end of the semester I had a nervous breakdown. 

I didn’t want to go home for the holidays. I worried that I would lose whatever spiritual progress I had made. My family wasn’t as religious as I was anymore. I was horrified with myself, I mean I didn’t want to see my family? That may not mean much to you, but I have always had a very close relationship with my family. We’ve been through a lot. And Mormons champion this message of “Families can be together forever” and I was suddenly struck by the blatant hypocrisy. If you’ve never been to a Fast & Testimony meeting, it’s basically this open confessional where you can go up to the podium and proclaim how YOU KNOW THIS CHURCH is true. A lot of folks tell tearful stories of family members cutting them off or even cutting their own family members off because they didn’t “understand” or because they were proud to make the church the center of their lives. 

By the time this happened, my brothers were already on the way out. One of them had been rebelling for years, and the other was simply trying not to rock the boat but even I was growing exhausted by the constant arguments. Since I was the oldest, I felt I wasn’t allowed to be vocal about my own doubts because I was supposed to be the “good example” and i internalized it instead. And when I came back from school, somehow, I had become the spiritual leader of the family.

My dad came to me and tell me about he regretted not having a last drink with his dad before he died of cancer, and how he had missed that opportunity to bond because of his religious beliefs. My mom came to me with her own concerns about women and priesthood. And because my brother argued the church wasn’t true, they looked into church history (you’re not supposed to read church history from non-church sources because the DEVIL would do anything to draw you away, which in of itself is such a red fucking flag) and after a lot of thought and consideration, they had begun to doubt and wanted to stop attending church for a bit.

And then, just after the new year, we sat down for a Family Home Evening. Mormons do it every Monday night, but this one was different. This time we didn’t have someone lead a lesson or read from the scriptures. Instead we talked about how we felt about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and by the end, it was official.

We weren’t Mormon anymore. 

After that I tried to figure out what I believed. I started studying religion from an academic standpoint, looking into the history, the mythology. I was curious about Ancient Sumerian myths and the origins of the bible. I switched to a community college, and when I asked myself what I believed I realized that I only ever wanted to believe things that were true and proven to be true. My faith had been taken advantage of. And If God did exist, he was such a raging asshole that I saw no point in worshiping him on a “maybe” 

So, I’m now I’m an atheist who celebrates pagan holidays because I enjoy the ritual and find comfort in nature and the passing of the seasons. I haven’t watched Fox News in years. Politically, I’d describe myself as a humanist and very anti-capitalist. I support Andrew Yang. 

And I’m capable of change.

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

And those who give the orders are not the ones to die

How Earth-X Kara came to be. 

Obviously I am a Supercorp blog and fanfic writer so my attempt to write Earth-X Oliver/Earth-X Kara is an attempt. 

She does not know who these men are-- the ones in the black helmets and suits. The ones who pulled her from her pod. She does not know where they’re taking her. All she knows is that Krypton is gone. All she knows is that cold, empty silence. They speak to her in an unknown language. A loose garbled tongue that grates at her ears. They do not understand her either. But they get her name. And Kara Zor-El gets theirs. A tall man who speaks differently from the others is named Captain Lance. A middle-aged woman-- Dr. Luthor.

(She will learn to fear that name. To know it means pain and cruelty. The day they give her the power Kara will give that woman a few lessons of her own. She will burn Lillian Luthor’s existence of the face of this planet.)

They know she is from Krypton. She watches them and they watch her. A mutual distrust. She may not yet know what her biology makes her here, but they do. They do.

…

She learns their language. They are shocked at how quickly she progresses, and she files that information.

(They do not know how smart she is-- how smart her people were. They never will.)

They take her saliva and her hair. They scan her body. They measure her heart rate, her breathing, her brain waves. Every test is overseen by cold-blue eyes.

(Dr. Luthor was never one to trust her subordinates. Especially not with this. Not with her.)

They tell her that Kal-El was killed. Killed by weak-minded rebels who terrorize good German people.

(It will be years until they tell her the truth. Until she finishes her training. Until she learns that Kal-El was weak. Until she learns he was found as an infant by a weak, traitorous family and raised to fight the fatherland. Until she learns he died a pathetic wreck, screaming as green fire burned through his veins.)

They tell her she will be strong. They put her in a room where the walls glow faintly and make her skin crawl and her stomach twist. They take her blood, her tissue. They begin her lessons. They teach her the history of the fatherland. The glory of her new nation. The dirty blood of the weak, the communists, the colored, the homosexuals, the jews.

(Krypton did not have sexuality. Her family had been prospecting a daughter of Thar to be her match. She locks this knowledge with her intelligence. Buried and never to be found.)

She argues at first. It starts with harsh slaps that echo against the stone walls. Then aching strikes that crack bone. After two weeks--

(She thinks it’s two weeks. She can only judge by her meals and they are irregular.)

--she tries to escape. She fails. The room they lock her in is cold and dark. The only light comes from that faint green glow that surrounds her everywhere. They give her no food for three days.

(She is strong. She will be strong. She is not weak.)

She tries again. She fails. Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

After the seventh attempt, she stops trying.

…

They put her in a cold room and take her clothing. If she fails to correctly repeat their statements with enough enthusiasm, they pour water on her. They do not let her sleep.

She is so cold.

She is so tired.

She learns.

(She is not weak. She is not Kal-El. She will survive.)

She starts to believe.

…

Kara is 15 when she begins combat training. 15 when she kills for the first time. She does not know his name. He is another trainee, a promising one, and under this stone cage of green, they are evenly matched. At least, Kara is physically human. The fight is short and one-sided. She breaks his neck in under 6 minutes. She feels only pride.

(Late in the night she sees his face-- broken and bloody and staring. Kara sleeps with his eyes still haunting her dreams.)

…

Kara meets Oliver Queen a few months later. He’s another trainee and a few years older than her, with hard eyes and harder fists. She beats him-- technically--, but it’s a hard fight, and when she has gotten him to the ground she falls next to him. The instructors rule it a tie and send both of them to the medical wing. It is somewhat redundant for Kara, removal from the kryptonite lined rooms is enough to start her healing. But they always check.

(She is their greatest weapon and they know it. They cannot risk she malfunction.)

He watches her with a quiet appraisal and she meets it in turn. He is her first failure, and she is his.

…

They train together often, their skills only on par with each other. Challengers do come, of course, but they are swiftly beaten and attention returned to the true rival. Extra training time turns to midnight sparring when the instructors tell them they are pushing too hard. Midnight sparring turns to-- Kara is unsure of what to call it, their meetings in the dark. They do not speak and rarely touch.

(They know the world in which they live. To admit their terror would be treason, and their shared fear is the reason they find solace in each other.)

They sit together in the silence and the dark, drinking in the closest thing to human comfort they can get.

(It is not enough. Even when they become the punishers themselves they cannot voice this known secret. Their fear forms a shackle around their throats, and they will die with the key still buried.)

The clandestine meetings are their way to calm down, to relax.

(Eventually, the silent sitting is forgotten. It becomes a way to blow off steam. They are not gentle with each other. They do not remember what gentleness felt like anymore.)

They know matches will be found for them, a child of high-ranking citizens and the fatherland’s greatest weapon.

(They know they will be bred like cattle.

They know what they are doing is forbidden.

They don’t care.)

…

She graduates at 17, Oliver at her side. She doesn't know how many she has killed. The sounds of men screaming as she burns out their eyes is familiar to her now. She barely remembers the time before.

…

She is 18 when the experiments begin.

They want her stronger, faster, tougher. Dr. Luthor floods her veins with light and power and pain. So much pain. Those cold blue eyes watch her writhe with barely concealed satisfaction. Kara loses her voice for a week, but she is stronger.

(Hidden in the dark of night, Oliver cradles her as she shakes and whimpers. He does not dare speak against orders, but he tries to be gentle.)

…

Kara and Oliver are matched when she is 21. He has risen through the ranks like no other, some are already speculating he may reach fuhrer within the year. Kara is a top general, and her victories have reduced the rebels to a laughable, dirty group inhabiting old slums.

(But she is sick. And she is only getting worse.)

…

The rebellion is all but defeated, and aggressive military action is no longer required.

(She was badly hurt on a mission in the old ruins of D.C. They cannot risk sending her into the field anymore-- cannot risk anyone seeing.)

…

Oliver reaches fuhrer. Kara pins a medal to his chest.

(When they reach the safety of the car, Kara collapses, hands clawing at her own.)

…

They tell her she is dying. Her heart cannot handle the strain of the UV radiation they’ve been putting it through. If she does not find a replacement, she will be dead within 10 years.

(She almost laughs at the news. How to find a heart transplant for the last surviving member of an alien species.)

Oliver is frantic, desperate, indulging every half-witted rumor or possibility he can find. When Eobard Thawne tells him of the multiverse…  

(Kara has never seen Oliver cry. She sat with him at both his parent’s funerals. She watched him as they told her she would die. She even broke his femur once. But at this moment, with Eobard Thawne explaining that his tests to open portals have worked, she thinks he might.)

…

Looking at a reflection of yourself is never easy. Looking at a reflection of yourself who believes in everything you hate is just disturbing. She stares down at this woman and sees her own steely determination staring back. She does not understand her.

(She cannot understand her. If she understands what then? She has suffered too much, survived too much to give in now. She is not weak. She is not weak. She cannot be weak.)

Her doppelganger escapes. Kara fumes.

…

They are fighting again. Unlike the others, she and her ridiculously naive counterpart fight high above the others. Unlike the others, this fight will end in the sky.

(She is not weak. She is not weak. She is not weak.)

She feels the ache growing in her chest.

(She is not weak.)

She knows Oliver is down there somewhere, much too far to save her this time.

(She is not weak.)

The ache spreads from her chest across her body. She feels it burn in her fingers and toes.

(She is not weak.)

Her vision clouds. Her ears ring. She cannot remember which way is up.

(She is not weak.)

She feels her doppelgangers arms around her. She cannot find enough thought in her mind to wonder why.

(She is not weak.)

Vaguely, she wonders if this is what Krypton felt.

(She is not weak.)

She dies.  

[olivehq]

☾⋆*― ⌜ 𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊 , 𝟸𝟷 , 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 , 𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛 ⌟  ╱   that’s  𝙾𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂 , they’re a  𝙹𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙾𝚁  from  𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝚈𝙾𝚁𝙺 𝙲𝙸𝚃𝚈 , 𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝚈𝙾𝚁𝙺.  when they left high school they were voted most likely to  𝙰𝙽𝚂𝚆𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝙷𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙰𝚃 𝟹𝙰𝙼 ,  what do you think? now they’re the  𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙸𝚁 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙰 𝙲𝙷𝙸 𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙶𝙰  and majoring in  𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝙸𝙲 𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽.  their friends describe them as  𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙾𝚄𝚂  but also kinda  𝙵𝚁𝙸𝚅𝙾𝙻𝙾𝚄𝚂 ,  but don’t tell them i told you that !  ⌈ 𝚋𝚛𝚒 , 𝚎𝚜𝚝 , 𝟸𝟷+ , 𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛. ⌋   ⌈  𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: i’m currently using brunette gifs of lennon stella bc i haven’t gotten around to make any blonde ones yet #lazy, so until then i’m using what i can find in a gif hunt.  ⌋

❝  𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜  ❞

𝙵𝚄𝙻𝙻 𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴 : olive pricilla remines

𝙽𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴𝚂 : tbd

𝙰𝙶𝙴 : twenty - one

𝚂𝙴𝚇𝚄𝙰𝙻 𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 : heterosexual

𝙱𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙷𝙳𝙰𝚈 : september 2nd , 1998

𝚉𝙾𝙳𝙸𝙰𝙲 : virgo

𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙾𝚆𝙽 : new york city, new york

𝙼𝙰𝙹𝙾𝚁 : graphic design

𝚂𝙾𝚁𝙾𝚁𝙸𝚃𝚈 : kappa chi omega

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 : magnanimous, amiable, frivolous, enigmatic

𝙷𝙾𝙱𝙱𝙸𝙴𝚂 : painting, running, baking, photography, yoga

❝  𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍  ❞

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙴𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 : olive is the second and last born to sebastian and lucille remines. sebastian, the owner and heir of his great grandfather’s winery business and lucille, a once aspiring grade-school teacher now settled and content trophy wife. growing up in the upper east side, the remines family is very well known among the other prestigious surnames in nyc; sebastian and lucille are very gallant of their squeaky-clean reputation.

𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚄𝙿 : at a very young age perfectionism was instilled in olive. if she did something wrong, instead of telling her it was fine and she would get better, her mother would make her do the task over until she got it right. failure was not an option within the remines family. between studies, extracurriculars, and hobbies olive was told if you weren’t first you were last. olive never dared to rebel against her parents, being deemed as their ‘golden child’. her parent’s knew she would do whatever was asked of her and with discipline. since grade school she was seen as very creative minded, constantly wanting to get her hand on anything that would express herself visually; whether it were paint, glue, pencils, or glitter. through high school she maintained a 3.98 GPA which in retrospect was arduous and stressful that she couldn’t get to the prominent 4.0.

𝟸 𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 𝙰𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝚅𝙴𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴 : olive’s parent’s weren’t too thrilled that the girl had chosen belvedere or graphic design; they were hoping she’d help take over the family’s winery and at the least have some sort of major in business. however this is the only thing she has rebelled against them and stuck to. she wanted to be happy and she knew that a life living in her father’s shadow would not be one of those, she also felt her older brother would be more suitable for the job. her first year she rushed kappa chi omega with high hopes and inevitably got a bid, desperately making friends with everyone and anyone who crossed her path. she’d go to parties but never get to the point where she’d black out, was always the type to handle herself and her liquor level, even though this was the first time she wasn’t under the clutches of her parents. start of her junior year she was elected as social chair, which she takes pride in as she is a planner, she loves to organize and contrive the kappa house events.

𝙴𝚇𝚃𝚁𝙰 𝚂𝙽𝙸𝙿𝙿𝙴𝚃𝚂 : just because olive is an overachiever doesn’t mean she isn’t social or like to have fun. she is very outgoing, enjoys adventures, but don’t be surprised if she has part of the trip planned or mapped out. when she gets a nice buzz going you won’t be able to stop her from showing off her incredibly uncoordinated dance moves. she’s the type of friend who will be at your beck and call, she cares deeply for people and is very loyal. tell her your deepest darkest secrets and she’ll hold them to her grave. she’s not the type to fight, in fact if you approach her she’ll curl up into a shell and back down. she does not like confrontation but if she has an issue she will be straightforward and tell you how she’s feeling in the nicest way possible. she doesn’t flaunt her family’s money but she isn’t shy about the name brands she wears and she loves to spend it. if you come to hang out expect some kind of baked goods or snacks freshly made by yours truly. she’s picky when it comes to the guys, is known to not have random hook ups, making her slightly unattainable. however if she finds someone she likes, there’s no stopping her.

❝  𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖  ❞

plants everywhere; potted plants, hanging plants, large plants, small plants— she’s a certified plant mama  //  meticulously organized desk  //  uplifting and positive quotes on sticky notes stuck on her mirror  //  tons of jewelry— she loves to accessorize  //  color organized closet  //  candles //  cup full of paintbrushes and a pallet of water colors  //  nikon d3500 camera  //  record player and a slew of records  //  stringed lights around her bedpost  //  neutral colored bedding  //  books lining a window pane  //  pics of her fam, friends, and dog back home

❝  𝚊𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚜  ❞

freshly manicured finger nails  //  glossed lips  //  glass of merlot  //  silk dresses and nude heels  //  mon paris by ysl  //  crackle on an ending vinyl  //  thrift stores  //  shots of espresso  //  high-cut bikinis  //  neutral colors  //  the scent of cookies wafting through the house  //  nervous tapping of her feet  //  stopping to smell flowers  //  cursive handwriting  //  daily planners  //  highlighters and colored pens  //  photoshop  //  stickers on her laptop  //  cartier rings  //  dry wine  // vodka soda— top shelf only  //  designer bags  //  crying while watching disney originals  //  glancing at herself in any mirror she passes  //  immediately texting or calling back  //  tucking hair behind her ear  //  deep conversations  //  talismanic smiles  //  staring at a piece of art for hours  //  paint stained pants  //  braced ankle while running  // stolen glances  //  70’s music

❝  𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚜  ❞

biting inside of lip  //  shaking leg  //  nervously baking  //  reapplying lipstick  //  straightening out clothing  //  trusting too easily  //  getting taken advantage of  //  snapping pictures at any event  //  knowing every word to her favorite songs

❝  𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚝𝚜  ❞

best friend ( m/f )  //  exes ( m )  //  crush ( m )  //  enemies ( m/f )  //  childhood friend ( m/f )  //  love/hate ( m/f )  //  party friends ( m/f  )  //  fake friends ( m/f )

[cupidoargiades]

MX mafia masterlist

@caramelandramyun asked: Hey there! Can I get a monsta x mafia au! Fic where they're all in love with you and you've already been in the gang for as long as most of the members have, just filled with a bunch of fluff thank you so much!

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A/N - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KILLING MY WRITERS BLOCK. so, i have a whole idea in my mind. we're going to start off with this post by introducing the characters i made for everyone, yes !! including y/n (nicknamed clio) and then it will be followed by a chapter for each member. the real chapters will be uploaded from the boy who fell in love with y/n first to most recent lover (since this gang had some sort of an indirect poly relationship). i'm really excited as this is my first fully realised project with thought out characters and stuff :) if you're still reading this, thank you so much again for this wonderful request!

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NOTE - this post will function both as a masterlist and the character's summaries. after i have made a chapter to the corresponding member, i will put a link below this note, all in chronological order. clicking on this link will navigate you to his chapter. thank you!

learning how to love - jooheon

mission two: the transporter of seoul - minhyuk

final warning - shownu

breakfast buddies - wonho

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shownu

full name: son hyunwoo

age: 27

function: the head torturer

pride: having earned the name 'torture thug' on the streets.

specialises in: being responsible, knowing countless torture techniques like the back of his hand.

profile: this man has nothing but a soft exterior, but don't let him fool you; he has a kind heart. you simply have to strategically break his shell to get him to open up. equipped with tasers and electrical cords he roams the MX headquarters, waiting for new victims to come in. shownu often tends to stay reserved and keep secrets thanks to his past, but once he finds the right people, he's never leaving their side.

chapters:

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wonho

full name: formerly lee hoseok, but after he got out of prison, changed it to shin hoseok

age: 26

function: the torturer

pride: he once cracked four ribs and a femur with nothing more than his own body.

specialises in: degrading, threatening and snapping bones in half with his own strength

profile: having gone through a rough childhood, he joined a gang way back in high school. that exact gang gave him the motivation to rebel against the government and do illegal things, earning him a place in a state of the art prison. after getting out, he changed his name and now lives a double life; personal trainer by day, mafioso by night.

chapters: nothing here yet!

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minhyuk

full name: lee minhyuk

age: 25

function: the transporter

pride: his mercedes-benz sprinter

specialises in: knowing shortcuts everywhere he goes, driving away from multiple police cars at once

profile: as a child he didn't really show any interest in motorcycles, cars, or any mechanical thing in general until his younger brother stole a maserati. minhyuk became obsessed with expensive cars and started competing in illegal races, now being the currect reigning 'king of the streets'. like the name suggests, he pays other drivers no mind and knows the roads better than he knows himself.

chapters:

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kihyun

full name: yoo kihyun

age: 25

function: the manager

pride: being able to intimidate people into doing whatever he wants

specialises in: fitting everything in a tight, neat plan. he always leaves room for a back up plan, if the first one goes wrong and they need to switch gears.

profile: born with a feeling for tidying everything he saw, this guy is the perfect fit for being the boss of the group. not only does he make sure the whole plan goes smooth, he also makes sure the members are in fantastic condition. he openly cares for the members from the bottom of his heart, often giving out snacks to eat and drinks to drink.

chapters: nothing here yet!

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hyungwon

full name: chae hyungwon

age: 25

function: the 'ninja'

pride: his collection of guns

specialises in: having a fast but precise hand in everything he does. his eye-hand coördination is off the charts, too

profile: this man had a lot of training to do when he first started off in this dark industry. with the ambition of becoming an assassin he started to practise many methods to defend himself and the members of MX. starting with practising with long distance weapons, he gradually made his weapons more manual until he got to the bats, knives, and daggers. he stayed loyal to his first love, however, and now sticks to guns only.

chapters: nothing here yet!

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jooheon

full name: lee jooheon

age: 24

function: the seducer

pride: his androgyny

specialises in: gaining people's unconditional trust in a split second before abusing said trust

profile: he may seem incomprehensable at first, but jooheon is nothing more than a trapped, tortured soul. back when he was a child he always used to get bullied for looking feminine, but instead of letting his looks become his weakness, he took that background and turned it into his job. now he roams the clubs, sometimes as a man, sometimes as a woman, to seduce MX's next target.

chapters:

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i.m

full name: im changkyun

age: 23

function: the hacker

pride: his incredible 120 wpm (words per minute) when typing

specialises in: unnoticably cracking codes and learning everything about his opponent in seconds

profile: growing up as an introvert with a love for games and computers, it's no surprise that i.m ended up in the computer industry. his fast hands help him with finding out everything he needs, which the other MX's members are very grateful for. this underdog likes to stay in the background, where there's not a lot of strings attached. though he's the most introverted out of MX, he loves his friends dearly.

chapters: nothing here yet!

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clio

full name: y/f/n y/l/n

age: 22

function: all-rounder. she does what she wants to do, when she wants to do it, to who she wants to do it.

pride: her talents and being the 'baby' of MX

specialises in: everything that she does. often tags along with one of the MX members in whatever they're doing that night.

profile: clio was going to be one of MX's targets at first, but jooheon messed up big time and changed plans. he was supposed to just seduce clio, but failed, and caught feelings for her. jooheon awkwardly introduced her to the group, followed by weeks of disgrace and bullying to see how tough she was. slowly she gained MX's trust and eventually joined the group, making the eighth and last person to perfect everything they do.