#guess ppl can’t take in what they dish out

[kirkenovak]

I posted 6,864 times in 2022

That's 1,569 more posts than 2021!

106 posts created (2%)

6,758 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nessa007

@thesummoningdark

@mrconditionalclause

@fishfingersandscarves

@eerielake

I tagged 6,851 of my posts in 2022

#the sandman - 2,214 posts

#fanart - 2,107 posts

#dream of the endless - 1,616 posts

#hob gadling - 1,045 posts

#dreamling - 947 posts

#peacemaker - 595 posts

#the corinthian - 424 posts

#vigilante - 365 posts

#adrian chase - 362 posts

#mcu - 339 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#if i read one more post about how ppl who ship xx are evil because they should be shippping [my good ship] i’ll scream

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Obsessed with the idea of 1389-1889 Hob being asked to be Dream’s lover, husband, partner and agreeing but also completely misunderstanding the nature of their relationship.

Hob’s been around the block a couple (hundred) times, he knows what these words mean for a man like him. Men like them. He will be a kept man, a paramour, a secret, maybe a bit more open than not, depending on his Strangers’s social circle and the power he wields, but it’s not like their relationship can be official. What a preposterous idea! Maybe they’ll be able to carve out a little space for themselves where they will be able to be as open as possible. Weirder things have happened (says the immortal to an endless)

It’s possible that The Stranger already has a wife or a female lover and he can only hope they can be civil towards one another. Hopefully The Stranger has some sort of arrangement with her, he’d hate to be a source of awkwardness or some sort of revenge plot.

I’m guessing if Dream revealed his status as a king to 1389 and 1489 Hob, Hob’s train of thought would go something like this: “men can’t get married” “Dream is a king, kings can do whatever they want” “Dream can have a gay marriage, as a treat”.

Further than that things could get a bit more complicated (also 1589 Hob was a happily married man, I think he’d reject Dream, mostly because the 13/1489 Hobs would be attracted and mesmerised by his power, wealth and mystery while 1589 would have both in abundance and he was at this point getting used to the idea of The Guy Who Made Me Immortal just being there).

1689 Hob would probably agree to literally anything Dream would want and would not consider himself worthy of being anything akin to “a lover”, more like a servant with benefits (I have so many feels about 1689 Hob and Avelera’s Giving Sanctuary is blamed for all of them) - scrub the floor, chop the wood, suck my dick, wash the dishes; do well enough and you may sleep on the kitchen floor next to the fire tonight and not in the basement.

Which brings us to the MVP of their interactions - the 1789.

Imagine, if you will, that after fighting lady Constantine and her goons, Dream openly propositions Hob and Hob agrees to go with him. Dream transports them to his ridiculously lavish bedroom (either in the dreaming or somewhere in the waking world) and Hob has a decision to make - he can either start questioning things or take things in stride, get laid, and then question things. He chooses the latter.

However, after they are finished Hob notices that their clothes are neatly folded while he knows they left them rumpled on the floor and there are refreshments available that definitely were not there before. Dream makes an offhand comment that his servants must have come in and sorted it for them while they were busy. Hob has no problem with servants watching them have sex, he’s lived long enough to have been on both sides of this, but he is uneasy with the fact that Dream’s servants had seen him being intimate with a man. With Hob. This unease only grows when Dream offhandedly mentions that they are awful gossips and probably his entire Kingdom now knows that he has a new lover. (This is how Hob finds out that Dream is a King with a kingdom and subjects) Hob is devastated, because the last thing he wanted was for Dream to be ridiculed because of him but now his entire kingdom is aware that Dream has been with a man?

Meanwhile, Dream is literally writing invitations to a 10 day feast he’s planning to throw in the honour of his Lover, Maybe A Husband One Day Who Knows.

Seriously, tho: “Be my husband” “sure! I want nothing more to be able to call you…. wait what are you doing?” “Inviting people to our wedding” “Our what?!”

2,746 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#4

How much you wanna bet that the fist time Dream strolled into Hob’s lacture or was spotted with Hob by Hob’s students outside the classes, the general consensus emerged that Dream is, in fact, a sugar baby. Everyone knows Professor Gadling (or Gadlen, Gadleen, Gadlow - let’s face it, Hob is not very inventive with surnames) is loaded AF. Oh, sure, he’s not ostentatious about being rich, he dresses like your dad and doesn’t do brands but damn, have you seen the stuff he’s got in his flat? The flat that is in the inn he owns. The casual way in which he talks about buying the first edition of some obscure book (someone checked, it’s worth ~£25k)? Dude’s got money. So when this gorgeous man starts hanging out with him, when they become a couple, the conclusion is one: well, the guy ain’t sticking around for Hob’s personality (which is lovely, don’t get them wrong, Hob is amazing, and he is good looking but good looking enough to pull this? Nah).

And then Hob has to go to the university gala and he’s wearing a nice suit, very appropriate for the occasion, but then Dream strolls in wearing a clearly tailored all-black Dolce & Gabbana outfit that makes him look like he literally arrived straight from a fashion show he was walking the catwalk at, walking about like he owns the place but being here is still beneath him, and that theory gets squashed in an instant.

The students are devastated. This ain’t Pretty Woman, this is two wealthy men who either met at some tuition-a-year-more-than-your-parents-house-is-worth public school (ain’t no way Dream went to a state school, just listen to him) or, worse, met at some Richdudes Place, like Alpine Skiing Resort or members-only golf club, one that doesn’t admit women.

Oh god. Oh god. What if their families introduced them to one another to make sure neither commits an act of disgusting mésalliance by getting together with someone poor or middle class.

Money speaks for money, the devil for his own. Sad.

3,329 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#3

Oh but imagine Dream glimpsing Hob back in 1389 and immediately deciding they’re getting married right now and whisking him away to The Dreaming, Hades and Persephone style, and Hob thinking “wait so I just got kidnapped by an actual king of dreams, who is hella hot, was granted immortality and it seems my job for the rest of the eternity is to get my back blown by him and also be married to him and, and I cannot stress this enough, I am a Medieval Peasant [TM] and he is a King so I fail to see a single downside to this situation???”

And so Hob Gadling marries Dream of the Endless and they go back to the White Horse every 100 years to have a cute anniversary date.

And of course Hob spends a lot of time in the Waking World because you have to have interests outside of marriage and spending a decade or two pretending to be a Totally Normal Human is Hob’s hobby?

Bonus:

- bodyguard Corinthian (“seriously I don’t need a guard” “yeah I hear you but Dream said if you get hurt he’ll remake me with no genitalia so as far as I’m concerned, anyone who gets within 20 yards of you is getting their spleen removed through their nose” “but I want to go to the market!” “Well then pick one that is the opposite of busy!”)

- awkward courtship after literally kidnapping someone to marry them? “I gift you this flying horse and a star from heavens and the first flower of the first spring and I’ll build you castle with 100 chambers and…” meanwhile Hob is already done because he wants to seal the deal right now before the KING OF DREAMS decides to change his mind

- obligatory meet the family shenanigans

- 3 minutes after Burgess kidnaps Dream, Hob hadoukens him through a wall and saves his man

4,934 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

#2

The Corinthian is, like, Dream’s dark mirror, right? Blond to dark haired, extrovert and outgoing to closed off and introvert, manwhore to aroace, Southern American Charmer to British Public School Educated Toff.

Gay af to whatever is this wetcat incel energy that Dream has.

It’s like he created Corinthian from all the parts of himself he didn’t want or care for, like some twisted sexy version of the Anu and Tathamet mythos.

What I’m saying is after Dream destroys Corinthian he has to reabsorbs him and then he remembers that a) he’s into dudes, actually b) he likes to fuck c) he knows how to charm the pants off someone, and this is how Hob Gadling finds himself getting dragged into the supply closet on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon.

6,695 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Death, who’s aware that her brother had been trapped in a basement since the start of the 20th century and only managed to got out several days earlier: Have you seen Mary Poppins (1964)?

Dream, who’s been trapped in a basement since the start of the 20th century and only managed to get out only several days earlier: No.

7,260 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jamasauruos-blog]

Dear diary,

Today is a struggle.

Back story: I was in a relationship for 2 years n I tried to do everything for this guy. But he was so lazy. All he did was smoke pot n stay up n play Xbox w his friends. Even when I would have to get up early the next day for work they would be in the bedroom playing Fortnite. A lot of times I would get up n sleep in the other room. N it didn’t bother him at all.

He was so ungrateful towards his mom. She had needed a hip replacement for years n she was working 2 jobs just to get by. She would get home from work n could barely walk. She was in so much pain she would be crying. Yet he couldn’t even clean the litter boxes, take out the trash, wash dishes, clothes nothing.

I was struggling w depression, anxiety n some eating n I didn’t have medication then. But I was sticking around 110. But when I found out he had been cheating on me it broke me down. I found him talking to so many girls on Snapchat some of them dating back to may keep in mind this was around nov.

I was so rattled w anxiety n disgust I could barely eat. I couldn’t stomach the taste of food. I was living on coffee, cantaloupe, n strawberries mostly. I was lucky to get 4 hours of sleep if I took 3 Tylenol pm n smoked a bowl. If I didn’t I could lay there all night in my thoughts until the sun rose.

I quickly got down to 95 lbs. I was a waitress n I was still going a mile a min like I usually did. I remember a size 0 in blue jean shorts were hanging on me.

Now I just got out of a 3 n half year relationship n I want to gain that control again. Im so jealous of myself back then bc it wasn’t hard. I was just really fucking depressed but I’m wanting to wither away again. It’s hard to know what I want w him. Like do I want him to come back. But I know if he comes back then we’ll argue about my eating. But if he stays away I can keep losing weight. But I care about him so much n I do miss him. N hearing that he’s going to stay w his ex (which from the stories I’ve heard is more coocoo than me) makes me feel so jealous.

Like really I’m worse than her. I hate myself so much for hurting him n always being so distant. But at the same time I couldn’t help it. When ppl get in my face n start screaming at me n push me around. Tell me they’re going to punch me in the face. I can’t help but revert into a shell. We had some really good times n we’ve been through some rough life stuff.

I’m sorry it got worse every time we had an argument like that. But I just couldn’t help it. A lot of times I was scared to say anything bc he would say that I was wrong n get mad. But that’s how I felt. I felt so beat down emotionally that I was no longer fun.

Now on kind of a mutual breakup. We acknowledge that we still are about each other. That his anger mixed w my sadness n shutting down wasn’t a good combo. He told me tonight that he didn’t stay here( we rent a house together) bc it’s hard to be around me n not want to go back to the relationship. Well I guess that’s fine bc then he won’t know I’m starving. I can keep punishing myself in secret.

[just-a-tiny-goldfish]

Reading stories with a oblivious reader will never not be fun for me. LOOK there is just something so nice and strangely heavy? To readers in fanfics after they have connected the dots and found out they are borderline dating a pro- every time they have spoken or been alone together has to be re-analyzed. Why? CAUSE OMG THERE WAS A PROHERO IN YOUR HOME???? WTF

Like I think izuku would be the easiest to mistake for an average joe-everyone in the Mha world is different and unique- and after he goes pro obvi ppl like copying their number 1 hero. It would be so easy to just meet izuku out in a clothing store I think, maybe you both happen to find that ✨one✨ limited edition hero clothing item and you just start gushing abt the hero it’s based off of, and he’s info dumping (and you are creeping closer to the item and just, Yoink- bye bitch) and like fight me on this-he WOULD most def try to buy it off you-at this point your looking at the money and your like 😧 bestie just take it. And maybe after you guys wanna continue your convo-cause you both are hero nerds-so you keep meeting up and when you find out-hold the freak up that’s DeKu?! Your excuse is “yes I hyperfixate on hero’s sometimes but deku just didn’t catch my attention he’s kinda lame 🤷🏽‍♀️” like yes he did bestie you almost made out with him last Tuesday 💀

Bakugou would have a slightly more difficult time- entirely his fault tho cause ain’t no way youre gunna ✨not✨ know that’s bakugou if he’s yelling in a store with every swear under the sun okay? Speaking of stores- I think you could meet him at one🖐🏽 it’s cute and domestic shut up. I think maybe you guys live near each other and he’s always pretty good of keeping on the low; after seeing you shop for a sec it’s obvi you don’t know what you’re doing- he’s damn is this pity? He’s noticed you like to cook? Maybe, but all your ingredients are shit. He will most def say something like “ that brand sucks get this” and just dumps like a whole basket of things in your cart🙂- and your like damn stranger you cute and so sure of yourself so I guess I will try this- and surprise surprise this dish is def not garbage anymore. This goes on for a sec eventually u invite him over to try a dish and obvi he’s not gunna be all covered up and low key AKA you have the oh shit moment- that’s pro hero Dynamite.

Shouto would be the most difficult-besides his distinct appearance something about him is just slightly off? Like this guy deff has the vibes of 10$ for one banana is normal-it’s just the rich boy vibes are too potent😭 I don’t think there’s anyway ANYONE could come across shouto and not know it’s him. So this is how it’s gunna go you’re taking your daily little commute past a park on your way to work right? Well today you have noticed that the man who always sits at the same bench always reading has left his book-you, the Good Samaritan decide to return it the next day. You do and what do you realize omg it’s pro hero shouto-but he looks like a deer in the head lights as you approach- he clearly looks like he’s trying to blend in (even though bi-colored hair is poking out of his hat and the sunglasses barley cover his poor job at concealer on that scar) so you pretend for his sake-instead you just hand him his book back as casually as possible and maybe your a fan of it so you kinda go on a little info dump and as this happens he relaxes -mission accomplished- except he forgets his book the next day and the day after and the day after that and after that and after that eventually you guys have grown super close and you two find yourselves alone one day and he comes clean “I can’t build this relationship on lies” so dramatic and he ‘reveals’ himself and you’re like “omg omg it’s prohero shouto I can’t believe it” 🤓 would you ever tell him you knew all along or would you spare his feelings?

[shijiujun]

ZZH + GJ x ELLE TW | Interview (28 April 2021)

Translations for the separate online interview the both of them did with ELLE Taiwan:

Talking to SHL GJ and ZZH | "Life can be simple as long as we do our best in the things we love" - 18 liners fulfilling their dreams

What do ZZH and GJ think of each other?

(1) With ZZH

Since the start of SHL, ZZH's role was set so that he only had three years left to live, hinting at the possible tragic ending early! Invested fans cried a lot & left ‘warning’ messages for the scriptwriter & director: "Even if it's unrealistic you better let him live!"

And when he was free during work the day before, ZZH accepted the online interview and was asked about his ZZS role and he, who usually dotes on his fans, said, "Thanks everyone for affirming/recognizing my acting skills, don't cry!"

ZZH's portrayal/acting was received very well by fans and his dynamic acting skills were revealed in many different directions because of SHL. He was praised to have nine faces, which means that aside from being well-rounded in his portrayal of happiness, anger, sadness, delight and other emotions, ZZH managed to interpret (his role) in a well-rounded way, with just a gaze and how calm he was from head to toe.

Taking on this role in SHL, ZZH says that his heart aches quite a bit for ZZS: "Towards his role, I can't say that I can give him any strength, but what I can do, is quietly feel and understand him."

Talking about his partner Gong Jun, ZZH attributed the success of the show and the efforts put into it to the team, and also praised GJ for being really professional, and fans look forward to be able to see the both of them work tgt in the future.

With a face that's gentle, handsome and has no bad angles, ZZH is most pleased with his defined nose. You may not know this, but in actuality, ZZH is not gentle/quiet at all! He likes to exercise and gym usually, through training, he fills his thoughts with positive energy.

Speaking about his Weibo UN "Crazy ZZH", we can't help but ask, is he a person who goes crazy (I guess, have a lot of fun, party like mad) without limits in private? ZZH says: "I chose this username to reflect a way to live - if I don't go to the extremes I will never accomplish anything.”

"I just feel that the things I'm passionate about I should do my best in them, for example, the craziest might have been when I was in university, I rode my bike solo all the way to Tibet!" He finished the journey step by step and because of this determination, it's reflected in his attitude towards filming & how meticulous he is. A lot of scenes that required fighting, ZZH communicated repeatedly with his teacher while learning and while he injured himself a bit, he said: "We must be responsible towards our roles, this is how an actor should be.”

"Thanks to everyone for recognizing/affirming me (as an actor), we'll continue walking the road together!” 

ZZH who is currently filming for a movie, promises that he'll definitely meet his TWnese fans in the future if given the chance. May 11 is ZZH's birthday and when asked about how he plans to spend his day, he casually says that it's in the planning, and as for birthday wishes, he said without hesitation, "I definitely hope everyone is healthy, and happy everyday!"

(2) With GJ

After SHL was broadcasted everyone fell for it completely, especially for GJ's role WKX. He managed to rank first in terms of entertainment tv influence. While he was free during work, GJ interviewed online and talked about the scene where his hair went white.

GJ: "My heart aches truly for WKX, I know a lot of fans cried because of him, thank you all for liking this show but I still hope everyone spends everyday happily!" 

He says he was once an 18-line actor & only started becoming popular on his 12th show, & thus he always cautions himself to head towards his dream with his feet on the ground, step by step. This special attitude is also reflected in the way he works; no matter the fighting or more dangerous scenes, GJ always does his best: "I don't know how many shows I've filmed! For fighting-related ones, I am thankful to the wushu laoshi and all the staff's guidance/protection, and once again under their training I safely completed this show, showing everyone the best shots!"

Aside from good acting skills, his styling was well-liked by fans especially when he wore that red outfit, he was endlessly charismatic "My fave is also the red outfit, and this outfit is also my most expensive one, hah!"

The rain scene left the greatest impression on him: "SHL is show with the most lines out of all that I've filmed so far; because a lot of WKX's lines are poetry, memorizing them really challenges comprehension and memory power, the toughest one was the rain scene, I have to adjust the emotions of the crying scene while in the rain and there're endless huge lines I have to recite, it definitely is challenging." 

 Those who follow him know that GJ is a simple person in private and in the interview he mentions: The happy thing about work is being able to earn money! Very few artistes can so blatantly say they wanna earn money, and as an employee who is passionate about earning money and finds joy in that, aside from buying a house so his family's quality of living increases, what does he wanna buy?

"I wanna buy a car! I really like cars a lot!" 

 In contrast to his cold, princely image, GJ's straightforward and blunt character has captured the hearts of his fans, especially when he sings in front of everyone unabashedly, taking on the title of "perfect (lack of) pitch", it is very adorable that he is willing to expose his weakness. But altho his singing skills are lacking, there's one skill that GJ has! And that's cooking! Because of the family rules set by his grandpa, the ppl in the kitchen in the Gong family are all the men.

GJ says: "It's true! The women in our family don't have to cook, it's all the men doing it. My grandpa, my dad, are all like that!" 

Basically it's no challenge for GJ to come up with a table of dishes. His signature dish is fish and when asked if his future other half really doesn't have to cook, that it can all be left to him, GJ says warmly, "Of course~" 

 And as a chef, GJ's build is on the taller side, "I really like to eat but I will control my diet. I gym often and try to eat less oily stuff. When I was in uni I was pretty fat, baby fat, but I lost that weight." 

 When asked which part of him he likes the most he says, "Hands! But I like em all! Because my parents gave them to me!" 

 During the interview it is not difficult to feel the deep relationship he has with his fam, especially when we chat about his grandpa. Aside from thanking his fam for the support, GJ is most thankful to his grandpa who has given him positive energy and encouragement until now, the person who he respects the most.

SHL did very well, in private who takes care of each other more btw GJ and ZZH? 

Both of their answers are the same: "In reality we take care of each other, because we're really good friends and in the production group we naturally take care of each other.”

Their chemistry and friendship extends to beyond the show and fans have also made plenty of creative CP works to share, we also anticipate their next work together! 

[kass-storycorner]

I literally can’t sleep right now because I ate something ✨spicy✨ earlier and I shouldn’t have finished eating it after I noticed it that it was too spicy for my liking 🥲 (and knowing full well that my stomach can’t handle spice at all). But I was hungry and stupid and now I’m laying in bed with stomach ache and feeling sick… so I was inspired to write this (on my phone so the formatting is a bit weird). In those sense I am a Chongyun kinnie I guess. Now excuse me while I try to get a bit of sleep, I have therapy and work tomorrow and I really need a good nights rest for both.

Idea: Thoma invited you over to cook you dinner, but he underestimated how sensitive your stomach is (compared to his own… Thoma would probably eat the dubious meal from Botw without batting an eye)

Characters: Thoma x gn!reader

Genre: fluff

Content warning: mention of feeling sick, mentioning the preparations for vomiting, like getting a bucket etc. (but no actually vomiting takes place, this is the CN for all the other ppl out there like me who can’t deal with the topic very well), very very very slight suggestiv content warning (it’s just one stupid joke of Thoma lol)

Format: i feel like it’s too long to be a drabble but it’s also not proof read so eh also I don’t know how to put something under a cut via the tumblr app so until I’m on a desktop you have to deal with this in the tags I AM SO SORRY

You knew it was a mistake to finish your plate as soon as you ate the first spoon of what Thoma had prepared for you two. But he looked at you with such a bright smile in anticipation of what you would say, how you’d like what he had made specifically for the two of you. It was such a nice gesture for Thoma to cook for you, when he asked you yesterday you accepted his invitation for tonight. The both of you had been dating for a while now, however Thoma didn’t have many nights just for himself as the Housekeeper of the Kamisato Clan. So it was very nice for him to spend his first night off in a while cooking for you. With all of that in mind and his puppy eyes looking at you - ah, you just didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was too spicy for you. It wasn’t even that you didn’t like the taste, you probably would like the dish, but it was just… so spicy, there was no option for a taste. It was just burning in your mouth. With a smile you just kept eating until your plate was empty, hoping the consequences of your actions would be too severe.

And for a while you felt fine, spending the rest of the evening cuddling with Thoma on the couch, listening to how he told you stories about his home with a bittersweet tone. In the middle of one of his stories, he was just telling you about a story from his childhood when he searched with two friends for one of their pet turtles, your stomach interrupted him with a loud growl. “Oh, are you still hungry?”, he asked with a slightly teasing tone. “No, it’s nothing, just digestion”, you tried to laugh it off and for a while he kept continuing his stories, not paying too much attention to the different noises of your stomach. That was until he noticed how your body started to tense up, your face turning pale. “Hey, are you alright?”, Thoma shifted, having you sit beside him now. “Yeah, it’s nothing, I’m fin-“, but before you could even finish the sentence the pain in your stomach became worse, as if someone just punched you in it you jolted towards, hugging your arms around your stomach. Hunched over in pain you could feel Thoma’s hand on your back. “Do you need to vomit? Wait a moment”, before you could even answer his question he was already on his feet, running towards the small kitchen and getting you a bucket. Just as quick as he was on his feet he sat back beside you, his hand back on your back, the bucket placed in front of you. “Thoma, really I’m fine it’s ju-“, again you were interrupted by the pain, having to take a deep breath to manage the cramp. “You don’t seem fine to me,” his voice was filled with worry while he caressed your back. “It fine, really. I’m used to it, I just need to lay down a bit,” You we’re finally able to say, giving him a pained smile. This really wasn’t ideal and to be honest it was so embarrassing for you. Maybe, you thought to yourself, that’s the punishment for not being honest from the beginning. But you couldn’t turn back time, so this was now your evening. “Okay, hold on,” before you could even understand what he mean with that he stood up and picked you up, carrying you bridal style to his bedroom. “Thoma, what are you doing?”, surprised by the sudden action you cling to his jacket. “You said you needed to lay down,” he put you down on his bed, “it’s best for you to lay down here, the couch really isn’t the most comfortable when you need rest.” Any other night you would feel something different in your stomach, nervousness, excitement- whatever, the way he carried you into his bedroom, put you down on his bet… you really wished that the circumstances were different for his actions. Was he even aware of what he was doing? “Thoma, I’m sorry”, you sigh, hiding your face in your hands. God, all of this was so embarrassing. He sat down at the end of the bed, his hand on your leg. “Hey, don’t be, it’s not your fault that you don’t feel well.” Thoma stood up from the bed, throwing a blanked over you to then make his way out of the room. “Don’t go”, you mumbled before he was at the bedroom door. “Mmh? What did you say?”, he asked and came closer to you again. You grabbed the fabric of his clothes, repeating yourself. “Don’t go, please.”

The pain in your stomach was still bad, but worse was the thought of having to spend the night alone in Thoma’s bed and him willingly sleeping on his couch, because you couldn’t tell him the truth. Without any further words Thoma filled the empty space next to you in his bed, laying on his side, his one hand supporting his head and the other hand softly going through your hair. You had your eyes closed, concentrating on your breathing, to regulate the pain but also to calm yourself down from the whole situation. Laying next to him in his bed, so close and it all felt so intimate… ah, maybe the nervousness of the whole situation didn’t really help with the pain. After a while you felt Thoma’s hand press against your forehead. “Mmmh, they don’t seem to have a fever, that’s good”, he mumbled to himself. Ah, did he think you fell asleep? Awkwardly you cleared your throat, opening your eyes looking directly into his. “Oh-ah, you’re still awake?”, he looked a bit embarrassed at you noticing how he talked to himself out loud. “Umm- yeah. Thoma,” you shifted, now laying on your side and not on the back anymore, facing him. “Don’t worry, I’m really not ill, it’s just…”, you paused, hesitant to tell him this, “it’s just, the dish you made earlier was a bit … too spicy for me, I quite the sensitive stomach and… I just didn’t want to tell you earlier, you made such an effort to cook for me and-“, you didn’t knew what else was there to stay, burying your face again in your hands you mumbled out another apology to him. “I’m sorry that I didn’t notice it, I made you eat two plates of it, without seeing that you didn’t even enjoy it”, Thoma pulled you in a hug, his chin now resting on your head. “No, Thoma don’t apologise. You couldn’t have known it, I promise you I’ll tell you in future…”. Suddenly you felt another wave of stomach pain, making you curl up again in pain. “Ah, it’s so stupid that my body reacts to a bit of spice like that,” you try to joke, but Thoma only caresses your cheek, looking at you with worry. “How bad is it?”, he asks, wishing he could be of any kind of help to you. “I’m just in pain, so it’s not that bad”, you say hoping he won’t press further on the matter. You really weren’t in the mood to explain to him what exactly it could entail when you ate things that upset your stomach - especially spicy food. “Can I help?”, his hand again at your back, slowly going up and down. “Do… do you have a heating pad or something similar? Sometimes it helps when I put some heat on my stomach.” “No, I don’t have one put… wait, I have a better idea.” With that he made you turn your back to him, pressed to his stomach with it. “T-Thoma?”, you asked nervously when you felt his hand under your shirt on top of your stomach. “Don’t worry, just trust me I won’t do anything funny,” he replied. “Unless you want me to”, he added, which earned him a small nudge with your elbow in his side. “Ouch, okay got it, not the time and place”, Thoma chuckled and then you suddenly felt the heat on your stomach. You sigh at the feeling, visibly relaxing now. You two just stayed there for a while until you were the first one to fall asleep in his arms, Thoma following shortly after you. Neither of you did expect to spend your first night together like this, but you weren’t complaining.

[capriccio-con-espressione]

for some reason i can’t see a very clear picture of jaehyun as a sub, though i feel like he can take a lot of things since he a tough sub - 💿

©

Like Ikr? The way you’re not familiar with sub!Jaehyun portrayal is because sub!Jaehyun is such an underrated top-notch concept, and the fact that so many ppl portray him as a d*ddy dom infuriates me. To me, he’s just a subservient good boy most of the time, only acting bratty from time to time in hopes of getting some harder punishments he craves. And below is some soft sub!Jaehyun scenario I just pictured

Imagine this: 

  Jaehyun In a thin choker as your good precious baby boy, so you would want to make him feel small, hence, you ask him to sit and curl up on your lap, with him leaning meekly against you while you are doing sins to his body with your mouth, not only marking him up but also spoiling him with lots of praises. Then you proceed to play with his cock, leaving him breathless and tease him by switching to caress other places instead, so he would whine and beg you to give him what he wants. (and as for my depiction of Jaehyun’s moans, see here)

  You take advantage of this and tell him he only deserves to be pleasured if he's a good boy, and a good boy should make his mistress feel good first. Now that his cock is desperately twitching for your attention, he has no choice but to obey and quickly positions himself between your legs before he starts to lick and suck on your dripping folds. Jaehyun would be so eager to please that he would be really attentive, keeping eye contact with you to see your reactions, and deep down he also loves the feeling that he's privileged to serve someone as precious as you. The more you are turned on, the more passion also grows inside him as well, as he’d love getting that beautiful dimply face of his all smeared with your cum, thinking of it as one of the ultimate forms of submission this way.

  After your climax, you make him lie across your lap with his leaking cock between your legs, and sensually spank him as a reminder that he should always be this good for you. Your soft gentle rubs between harder swats would make him giggle a little, moaning and humming with blissful enjoyment, and the thought of a strong full-grown man like him yielding the most fragile part of his body to you turns you both on mutually as well.

  Then you would shift your legs to create more tantalizing friction for him, whilst whispering nasty compliments on how beautiful he is when caressing his rear, the tension of him being unable to guess when will the real slap land on him firing up more euphoric delights to his senses. You would turn his head back to make him look back into you, and seeing those chocolate brown eyes filled with fondness, as well as hearing those sweet moans flowing with bliss make you shudder to the deepest of your core.

  Topping the whole session off, you’d dish out your strap, and slowly yet fondly thrust into him, telling him that he’s your baby only for you to cherish and his heavenly voice is made to only moan for you as you both reach your ecstatic high…

[quercus-queer]

BA’s Reckoning

Yes, I stole this title from the Sporkful podcast. You should check it out!

So just a reminder the whole thing that kicked this off was when Tammie Teclemariam tweeted the photo of Rapoport in brown face (yes its brown face its a purposeful caricature of Puerto Rican ppl, his girlfriend called him her papi in the caption as well) saying he should simply write the article on Puerto Rican food then (the issue was Illyanna Maisonet, a Puerto Rican food writer, got rejected rudely by Rapo for her pitch to write about Puerto Rican food) Which brings up the larger issue of BA being racist and not covering any other dishes besides Eurocentric ones, and the ones that aren't Eurocentric are almost always either whitewashed or done by white people which is what happened with Masionet’s article (this is where Amanda Shapiro and Meryl Rothstein come in).

This led to a zoom meeting where Rapo made a shitty apology leading Sohla El-Waylly’s instagram posts, where she condemns Rapo, talks about her 50k salary despite having 15 years of restaurant experience (She ran a fucking restaurant and 50k in NYC is pathetic), being hired to help white editors, and not being paid for ANY of her video appearances (none of the poc you see in videos have been compensated including the zoom videos). Which has led to many people at BA being exposed for being terrible (Conde Nast is the parent company and owns BA, Vogue, Architectural Digest, Allure, Glamour, Wired, Epicurious,Teen Vogue among other things... also take note how most of these have consistently been criticized for their racism or “race problems”)

ANYWAY here’s a general guide of what each BA person has done, this is in no way comprehensive, feel free to investigate on your own, always fact check and form your own opinions!

Adam Rapoport: Brown face, not paying his non-white employees for their video appearances, treating his assistant Ryan Walker-Hartshorn (a black woman) like shit (she was working overtime and was barely making rent with what he was paying her), he's sexist (see every video with Molly) and racist (mixing up Sohla and Priya Krishna and never apologizing) and more!

Check out the Business Insider piece, twitter (Tammie’s, Christina Chaey’s, and Priya’s), Sohla’s podcast and interviews, and someone made a compilation of Rapo being condescending I think

Matt Duckor: Disgusting, racist, homophobic, sexist all around terrible person, probably the most obviously terrible of the bunch (see Rick Martinez’s insta plus Duckor’s own tweets), strung along Sohla for months saying that her pay was “stuck in legal” so that she would keep appearing in videos, gave Sohla a contract when this stuff first started happening to try and shut her up, HE is the one deciding pay for everyone at BA and was the one not paying poc for video appearances.

Check out Rick’s Insta, Twitter for Duckor’s tweets (screenshots bc he deleted his account)

Carla Lalli Music: First off, ppl are pointing out she was condescending af to a lot of her guests on her show (except for the white ones). The racism at BA did not start nor stop with Adam Rapoport and guess who was editor in chief before him? Yup, Mrs. Carla Lalli Music! Necessary amendment: Carla was the food director NOT the editor in chief and she is currently an editor at large... still a powerful position though and I think the sentiment still stands. She had a pretty pathetic twitter thread about how she should’ve done more but was focused on the sexism/focusing on women, strange because she also sent that shitty email to two women along with Delany and Brad after the two of them, Delany, and Brad were talking in the kitchen, telling them not to enter the kitchen without permission (not enforced on Brad or Delany obviously, only the two women who happen to not be white) I misread the article, Brad was a part of the convo, he did NOT receive the email, and didn't respond to the articles request for comment.. he fucking works in the test kitchen, i’m an idiot and that's on me

Business insider and her twitter 

Alex Delany: I have a post with the screenshots of the confederate flag cake he made himself because he felt the “need to express some southern heritage in cake form. Such a glorious cake...” for his friend moving to South Carolina, the lovely vine with the classic “F*g is a bundle of sticks joke” also have a post discussing that, he’s wildly underqualified for DRINKS editor and overpaid, also his girlfriend is Allegra Lorenzotti whose mother Eva Lorenzotti, is in Jeffery Epstein’s black book which is concerning (though who knows maybe Delany is dating a different wealthy Allegralo), also those sexist tweets

I have screenshots from Tumblr, ppl have the vine on twitter along with the sexist tweets (he deleted his twitter and Tumblr btw)

Andy Baraghani: There are screenshots of Alyse Whitney’s (an asian woman) twitter thread saying Andy purposefully undercut her articles multiple times because of a petty feud with Antoni from Queer Eye by using his friendship with Amanda Shapiro (Whitney’s editor) to kill the story, which is shitty and brings up the bigger picture of BA being cliquey and getting in with a friend of a friend and such which is just a toxic work environment

Amanda Shapiro: Puerto Rican food article, Alyse Whitney’s articles, she’s a perpetuator of the toxic work environment, stealing Nikita Richardson’s work and getting credit and pay for it (pls check out her twitter and the articles with her), also racist, should not be in charge

Chris Morocco: Made one (1) basic post (simply a reply to Molly calling him out actually) at the beginning of all this agreeing to not be in anymore videos until his coworkers got paid/backpay, he said he was complicit (duh) but also that he had no idea this was happening, but guess what? He is the one that hired Sohla for only 50k! There is a whole can of worms about how little Sohla was hired for despite her experience plus talent along with her current pay and Chris is a part of that. Also both his gumbo video and Halo Halo recipe are downright disrespectful at BEST and they should not have had a white man doing them (again with the white people doing articles/videos that can be EASILY given to someone whose actually part of that culture) and before anyone says anything yes the gumbo was for Chris’s show (strange how only white ppl get shows or in Andy’s case unless you’re friends with a higher up) still doesn't make the video less disrespectful, also he’s SAID he is friends with Anna Wintour (head of vogue, and a racist “there’s no room for black women” the reason the vogue challenge is happening)

Brad Leone: Himbo status permanently revoked, “Brad who just found out racism is real”(Sohla said this in the Sporkful podcast) is NOT acceptable for a 35 year old white man whose coworkers are suffering in a clearly toxic work environment, the screenshot with “I didn’t sign her contract she did” is NOT how you respond to your coworker being underpaid and disrespected by the company she works at because she is not a white man. I do not like him anymore, he has made apologies but ignorance to this extent is willful and I don't completely buy it the rumors he was upset Delany was going to be fired/would quit if Delany was fired/was mad at Sohla is not something I was able to confirm but based off of what I’ve seen he really needs to prove himself to be better, he can stay if that’s what his coworkers want but he is on thin fucking ice

Stuff I can't accredit to a single person, but BA is racist: 

NIKITA RICHARDSON, pls check her out on twitter

They sent Sohla to interview black chefs (bc BA has a bad track record) because she was the darkest and there were literally NO black chefs working at BA

Making Priya only cook Indian dishes (which were kinda whitewashed) I actually think this may have been Duckor

Tokenizing the poc staff (they would make them be in the kitchen when filming the white hosts shows and push them in front of the camera to highlight nonexistent diversity)

Paying Hawa Hassan only $400 for her video (probs also Duckor)

[marveloussupernerd]

Take care of him - Jumin Han

Warnings: angst, death, NOT a happy ending

Summary: you and Jumin were living a happy life with your baby girl, until an accident happened that put your life on the line

Hi! I wanted to put it out there that this is a heavy topic. I lost my mom when I was still a toddler and so I don’t have any memories of her. So this is quite an emotional thing for me to write but I hope y’all angst ppl enjoy

“Jumin,” you called, poking your head in the door of his home office. You had your daughter on your hip; she was only ten months old but was the light of you and your husband’s life. “When do you think you’ll be done?” You tried to convince him to take a year off for the baby; he couldn’t do that of course. It was selfish to think so. But you didn’t want him to miss a moment of the baby’s first year.

He looked up at you and the baby, a bright smile on his face. “I’ll try and get done soon,” his face fell a little, “but it still might be an hour or so.”

You walked over to him, bending down to kiss his cheek. “Okay!” You directed your attention to the baby. “You say okay dada? Da-da?” You were working on her saying her first words.

She just gurbled a little. Jumin chuckled and leaned in to kiss her. “I’ll be out as soon as possible,” he told you. You went back out to play for a little before she would get tired.

She was fond of the plastic key rings. She liked the sound it made when she shook it. And teething with it, of course. Her second favorite toy was probably her lamby stuffed animal. Or Elizabeth the 3rd, although you weren’t sure if she counted as a toy. It was nice to get her used to the cat, who walked over to sniff her and usually got pulled about by the baby. She dealt with it for her. She even would come over when the baby cried. Elizabeth really was a good cat.

You kept your eye on her as you walked over to fill Elizabeth’s dish for food. And then it happened. “Ma-ma?” She called.

You nearly passed out. You rushed over to her. “Jumin!” You called, hoping he wasn’t in a meeting. You swung her into your arms. “Hi Baby! Did you say Mama? Ma-ma?” You tickled her tummy, making her laugh.

Then you took her to her father. You didn’t even bother knocking this time around. “Guess what!?” You asked excitedly. He turned his chair to focus his attention on you. His eyes were tired but he was still smiling; he always was for the two of you. “She said her first words. You tell Daddy what you said? Mama? Ma-ma? Ma-ma?”

“Mama!” She squealed. Jumin’s face lit up. She giggled and burbled and squirmed. She was so proud of herself.

“Wow! Your first words!” Jumin said excitedly. He stood up from his seat. “This is wonderful!”

“Isn’t it so exciting!?” You were walking on air.

The phone rang. Jumin sighed. “I can get it. You spend some time with her,” you offered, handing her over to her father. He let out a sigh of relief and took her, bouncing her slightly as you went to get the phone.

Press. How did they get your home phone number? You rolled your eyes and hung up, making your way back over to your happy family.

She was crying. Jumin was rocking her, singing softly. He’d never let anyone on the planet hear him sing, spare the two of you. He heard your footsteps and glanced at you. “I feel like she always cries when I hold her.” He sounded slightly frustrated, slightly broken-hearted. “How about I take next week off so we can all spend more time together?”

“That sounds perfect.” You wrapped your arms around his back, nuzzling into his shoulder. Your eyes caught the clock. So that’s why she was crying. “She’s just hungry. Let me go feed her, then she’ll be all happy again.” Jumin passed her off to your arms and she continued crying, clearly ready to eat. Once you got her latched on she was finally quiet.

The next day you weren’t feeling well. Same for the day after. It was probably a million things: feeding the baby, lack of sleep, stress, change in diet from after the baby was born. The doctor had to call in some medicine for you.

You shrugged on a jacket, glancing over at your baby all decked out in a pastel pink winter coat. You knocked on Jumin’s door. “Jumin?” You opened it slightly. “I’m going to the pharmacy to get my medicine. Do you wanna come with us?”

He ran a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted. “I can just send someone to do that for you, Love.”

You couldn’t meet his eye. “I’m... embarrassed about it,” you pouted. “That my whole body is out of wack. I don’t want anyone picking it up. Feels too personal.”

“I wish I could go, but I have a meeting in a few minutes,” he frowned, “Can I have a kiss before you go?”

You laughed, walking over to him to peck him on the lips. “Always,” you whispered. “Love you. Say bye-bye Dada,” you told your baby. She fell silent.

“She’ll get it soon,” Jumin encouraged. You nodded, then headed out.

You strapped her in the car seat and began the drive to the pharmacy. “Dada. Da-da. Can you say dada for me baby?” You encouraged her throughout the drive. What a surprise it’d be to Jumin when she finally got it! You’d just have to keep pushing it.

The car shouldn’t have been there. It shouldn’t have run the red light. It shouldn’t have hit the driver’s seat, sending the car spinning, slamming your front side into a building.

But it was. And it did.

Why were you calling him so soon? Maybe you forgot something at home. Jumin muted himself from the conference call and picked up. “Hi Honey,” he greeted, “I’m still in a meet-“

“Sir? Is this Jumin Han?” That wasn’t his wife’s voice. His heart dropped. His mouth was dry.

“Yes it is.”

Silence. For too long. Every second felt like an hour.

“Your wife has gotten into an accident. Her and the baby are still breathing, but she’s in and out of consciousness. We’re taking them to the hospital. Do you give permission for them to be operated on if necessary?”

And for once, he had no words.

Words used to fly freely from his mouth. Compliments came naturally to him. He always knew what to say. He was raised from birth on how to speak and articulate everything flawlessly. But now he couldn’t speak.

“Sir?”

“Yes. Yes, of course.” What was once slow-motion was finally back to real-time, which felt like a million miles an hour compared to how it was. “What hospital?”

“Saint Joe’s.”

“On my way.”

He hung up the phone. Unmuted himself. “I have a family emergency. We can continue this later.” Didnt wait for a response. Left the call. Forgot a coat. Couldn’t wait for Driver Kim. Drove himself to a hospital. You were a good driver. He was a bad driver. He cursed the world that he made it to the hospital safely. Why did you get in an accident but he didn’t? You were the careful one. Why didn’t you call Driver Kim? He was angry at the world.

You were in surgery when he arrived. They were running tests on his daughter. She appeared pretty unscathed. You had put her on the passenger’s side; a move that saved her life. She never would have survived if she had been on the other side of the car.

She was okay. They gave her to him. She was in his arms. She was okay.

You had gotten out of surgery. They had to monitor you to see if it was successful, but you were out and coming to consciousness.

“...Jumin?” You whimpered, opening your eyes. Your body felt like it was on fire. But he was there, holding your baby. The baby was okay. “Am I dreaming?” You choked out. Were you both really okay?

A tear fell down his cheek. He walked over to you. “You’re not dreaming. She’s okay. And you’re here. You’re here with me. You’re okay,” he whispered. He was afraid if he spoke aloud his voice would crack.

“Oh.” You sighed. “Good.”

And then the waterworks hit. You were crying. “I didn’t mean to. I endangered us. The car came out of nowhere Jumin. I didn’t know what to do! Is the other person okay too?”

He hadn’t even thought to ask. He’d find out later. That wasn’t the main concern. Right now, he was here with you and with the baby, and that was all that mattered.

“They’re keeping you tonight to make sure the surgery was successful,” he stated simply. He couldn’t even listen to his own words. He had been so frightened. But you made it. Of course it was successful. You were breathing and crying and smiling in front of him.

“Take her home.”

He frowned harshly. “I can’t leave you here.”

You frowned right back at him. “She’s going to be hungry soon. She needs you with her. Don’t make her stay with someone unfamiliar, or stay somewhere as strange as this after all she’s been through.”

He sighed. “You’re right.”

“I know I am.”

He kissed your forehead. He took her hand and made her wave. They left.

Your body was on fire. A constant pain. A constant ache that couldn’t go away, no matter how much morphine they gave you.

The next morning Jumin was back. His hair was wet. He had showered. She was in a tutu. She looked cute; he had done a good job dressing her. She was grinning and squeaking and flapping her arms. The doctor told you the surgery was unsuccessful.

Money could buy anything... right?

Another surgery. It was dangerous. There was a lot of internal bleeding. But you needed it. If you didn’t get it, you wouldn’t last more than 3 days. Jumin’s face was stoic. “What are the chances of success?”

“10%,” the doctor said simply, as though this was nothing new or shocking.

“And what if we’re in the 90%?” Jumin fired back. The doctor didn’t answer. He couldn’t meet your eye. That was an answer enough for you.

You looked at Jumin. Put on a smile. Smile. Smile. “10% is 1 in 10. I’m healthy. I eat well, I exercise. We need to do it,” you encouraged him. You never told him about the fire you felt every time you breathed. He didn’t need to know.

“Okay.” You could hardly hear his voice. “Okay.”

The doctor would prep the room for surgery. It would be about an hour. Jumin’s face was crumpled. He was trying so hard to keep it in.

“Hey,” you nudged him. You forced yourself to be optimistic, because what else could you be? “Go get a coffee.”

“I can’t leave you right now. There’s only an hour.”

“Yeah, an hour and then I’ll be gone for a few and then a whole lifetime. Go get a coffee. You look tired.” You weren’t lying. He seemed exhausted. You didn’t think he got any sleep. “And get roses maybe.”

“You want roses?” He smiled.

You laughed. Fire in your gut. “Duh. I’m gonna be here for a few days at least. It’ll liven the place up.”

“Okay. How many?” He put a smile on his face too.

“I don’t know... however many you feel like. I’ll even take the baby so you can pick out in peace.” You held your arms out to take her. Jumin carefully set her in your arms. “I missed holding her last night.”

“I’ll be right back. I love you.” He gave you a peck on the lips.

“I love you more.”

And then it was just you and the baby. You could finally let your eyes water. “1 in 10 is still good chances, Baby,” you told her. You knew she couldn’t understand. But you wanted to tell her. “But the way I feel right now... I don’t feel very good.”

You kissed her little cheek. “I’m so happy I could bring you into this world. Make you laugh and speak and crawl. Feed you in the middle of the night. Protect you from that car. I don’t care if it hurt me instead. I protected you.”

Tears were falling. Dripping onto her cheeks. You wiped furiously at your eyes. This wasn’t fair to anyone. “I’m... if I’m okay then you can forget this ever happened. You won’t remember anyways. If I’m gone today you’ll never remember me. I will only live in photographs and old interviews and stories your father will tell. It’ll be hard to grow up without a mother. You’ll panic when you get your first period and Daddy is no help at all. I hope they’ll step up and help you... all our friends. Just... be there for him. Okay? He will watch you grow and teach you so much but... you take care of him too. He’ll get a million things wrong. But he made you. And that was right. And that’s enough for me to know he will take care of you.”

Jumin remembered flowers made you sneeze. If they didn’t make your nose so itchy he would have bought the whole gift shop of flowers. That would have been inconsiderate to other families. He bought baby pink lilies, carrying them up in their pretty vase.

“Hi,” you smiled, greeting him as he entered. You were happy you had stopped talking to the baby when you did. Your tears were all wiped away. You were presentable enough to not show your husband your fear. He set the flowers down next to you. “Those are beautiful.”

“I thought... since she likes pink so much, they’d remind you of her when she goes home at night and you have to stay here,” he shrugged. He put on a smile.

You scooted over in your bed, which was easier said than done. “Come sit with me until they’re ready.” You patted the spot on the bed next to you. “I’m a little nervous.”

“I am too... but you said it yourself. It’ll be okay.” He was smiling again. None of his smiles were genuine. They hadn’t been since he walked through that door this morning.

You looked at him. His mind was clearly racing. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. “You can tell me you’re scared,” you whispered.

“I... I can’t raise her alone.” He buried his face into your neck. Tears soaked the collar of your hospital gown. “I can’t even hold her for ten minutes without her crying.”

“She’s a baby, Jumin. She cries every ten minutes in general.” You couldn’t cry. You focused on your baby’s eyes, shut as she napped in your arms. “I’ll fight my absolute hardest, Jumin. You can’t get rid of me as easily as you think.” If you had to leave this world... you wanted his last memories of you to be happy.

When they came to get you, he kissed you. Once, twice, three times. You kissed the baby. And all you could think was you couldn’t be done. You didn’t formally say goodbye to him. You hadn’t talked to any of the RFA members. You didn’t ask Jaehee to help with your daughter just in case. You didn’t even tell Elizabeth goodbye on your way out last time. You’d have to come back and do it then.

He almost dropped the baby when they told him you didn’t make it. She was so calm. She was still asleep. Her eyes were shut, her mouth smiling slightly. Didn’t she know? Couldn’t she feel the loss of her mother?

He couldn’t believe it at first. He couldn’t talk to anyone. They sent him back to your room to collect your things.

Those pink lilies. He should have gotten something tangible. Something he could selfishly take with him to remind himself of you. These flowers would die. You only got to see them for a few minutes. It was stupid. He’d leave them there.

Your phone. Your phone. The one they called him from to give him the news. It wasn’t even cracked. It still had your smudged fingerprints on it from constant use. How could that accident have broken you completely and leave the phone unscathed!?

He didn’t realize he had thrown it until it clattered on the ground. He was still holding his child in one hand. He needed to be more careful. He had so much rage though...

He needed to be careful.

He bent down and picked up the phone.

It was still spotless. No cracks, not even from being thrown against the cinderblock wall.

He fell, leaning against said wall, holding his daughter in his arms. It was stupid. It was unfair. He was the richest man in the country and he couldn’t save you. What was the point of money if it didn’t do what he needed it to do?

He cried.

She opened her eyes. She still wasn’t crying. She still was as innocent as she had been yesterday, before the accident. As though she knew nothing new. As though nothing had changed. But so much had.

To her, only one thing had. She knew a new word.

“Da-da?”

If anyone wanted the grand total, I cried 18 times while writing this. Tell me if you cried or if I am just dramatic

On a more personal level, the first memory I have is buying pink lilies for my mom the day she died. No memories of her, only of those pink lilies. My sister bought a bear and got to take it home. Every day I think of how I have no momentos of her, just the image of those stupid pink lilies I’m cryin in da club

[goldenlie]

I think you actually did cover george dishing out the most “trash talk” in your analysis, but I think you hit the nail on the head when you said george comes across a lot more over the top playful. Sapnap and dream seem not to take it that way. I doubt off screen george is more sincerely viscous than sap and dream can get, but idk he could be. But you think someone else would mention that about him. I’m guessing it’s mostly what we see because george can definitely be over the top and extra. But like that’s kind of the point?

Regardless, George’s behavior is irrelevant and I’m tired of ppl bringing it up. This is about dream and sapnap behavior making a lot of viewers uncomfortable and george is just the punching bag that happened to get the brunt of it. But you could replace george with literally anyone and I would be just as uncomfortable with how they were acting.

I'll preface this by saying this is all just my own interpretation of the content we're provided with. None of this is an expression of how I believe George to feel and nor do I wish to insinuate such.

The bridge between George's playful taunts not reaching dream and Sapnap occasionally may be explained slightly by the continental difference. I can't speak for all of Europe but the UK bases a lot of it's humor on sarcasm or wit which may be easily misinterpreted if you weren't aware it was meant lightly. It reminds me of during a geoguesser stream where the location was a large river when George joked they were in Venice and Dream, fully accepting his word as fact asked "really?". Such misunderstandings are funny to witness yet we see the crossed wires of communication surpass a geoguesser game into their competitive Minecraft streams, where it results in much more harsher retaliations.

I think a couple of people's initial response to those expressive of their discomfort regarding specific moments on stream, is to assume they're simply defensive of George or of the belief they're babying or speaking over him. However, that seems to disregard the actual issue some people bring to the table under the guise they were simply a young, naive fan incapable of taking a joke. Watching someone be toyed with for forty minutes, after not producing a comeback for thirty five of those, is not entertainment it's hard to watch. As you said take out George put in Fundy, Quackity, or Jack Manifold and it's the same feeling of awkwardness produced. I have no doubt George himself would discuss it in private if any statements from the dream team truly bothered him and I don't believe their friendship to be crumbling because of a scuffle on stream. That being said as a viewer, even with such reassurance, it doesn't make it much easier to enjoy.

[papers4me]

List of Intriguing Golden Kamuy Characters: (part 1)

As I read more chapters of Golden Kamuy, the characters get more fleshed out & layers upon layers of their broken selves get explored.

A general theme: is the the changing mentality of men before, a mid & after wars. How their psyche & mind change as the brutality of war breaks them apart.This manga is very unique in presenting its characters as human with degrees of good & bad in every one of them. None of these men is innocent & naive. They’re all aware of their current position as war soldiers whether deserters, discharged or on duty. Basically it is a manga abt broken men. Asirpa, the sole female protagonist, is presented as an innocent but practical character, but will she stay the same or will the hunt for gold & the worry for Ainu future change her?

Fascinating aspect: the dynamics between characters are one of the most entertaining in anime that I’ve read! truly unique. The characters, thanks to the plot, are forced to change sides & join different groups repeatedly throughout the story & each time, I discover new brilliant dynamics!!! The humor is good with a dash of adult jokes! The deadly hotel dynamics, the circus dynamics, the trip to Abashiri, the trip to Karafatu dynamics! & more, are all well-done.

Below, I’ll write very short & general broad summary of what I find fascinating abt each character. I’ll divide them into groups.  ( contains spoilers)

1.Sugimoto's group:

Saichi Sugimoto: the protagonist. A discharged soldier. He is a troubled soul who has very low self worth despite his immense desire to stay alive. His kindness contrast his violent brutality. He kills criminals/soldiers with no mercy yet he’ll put himself in danger for those he cares for. I’m especially interested in his journey to reconcile with past self. I need for him to have a journey away from Asirpa & everybody. A self cleansing path where he accepts that perhaps it’s okay for him to not end up in Hell. His own personal issues with his past & the guilt he carries coupled with his fear that Umeko (his first love & his friend’s widow) will see the monster that he believes he’s become is highly fascinating to me! How will he deal with that? & if he were to ever meet Umeko again will she sense the past Saichi or the blood drenched Sugimoto or if there will be a different Sugimoto when the gold hunt is over? Perhaps, we won’t ever know. Perhaps letting her go & letting all his past go is part of his new journey? Can you start new while ignoring the past? I need to see Sugimoto’s own journey!

Asripa: 12 or 13 year old girl who is independent & capable to sustain herself without the need of any man. This child’s young age is especially important for the story that is full of adult  & veteran men of war as she represents the hopeful future. The future is the children who shouldn’t be plagued by their parents’ sins & desires. Her father put her in the center of danger & threw a huge burden on her. His own dream that is conveniently introduced as the salvation of her ppl. A dream that kept changing with every new step he takes, a dream that clashes with other men’s dream & for them to achieve theirs, they need Asripa who is is in the middle of it all. I want Asripa to find a path that is hers, not her father’s. Moreover, I want her to grow independently from Sugimoto whom she now considers the center of her own dream. She needs to see the world & grow up as a woman before she ties herself with others for life.

 Shiraish: A comic relief convict with unique escape skills, who in the later chapters has grown immensely without loosing his comic value! I love his growth!! & yet is to come! he’s become the rational one in the group while being super silly! Very satisfying indeed!

2.The 7th Division: (aka the most fascinating set of characters)

Tokushirō Tsurumi: One of the most well-written villains that I’ve recently come across. He’s fluid, entertaining, manipulative & fascinating. You literally can’t predict his moves or even his moods! Can’t tell if what he’s saying is truth or lie. Tsurumi is the writer’s unchained character cuz while Hijikata is tied a bit by historical reference to a real character, Asirpa to the Auni & Sugimoto as her bodyguard. The writer can simply write Tsurumi freely to fit every shape & every mold. There’s even logical reason for his mood swings & erratic behavior; he lost part of his brain in a war explosion & wears a metal plate to cover the open wound. He’s extremely clever, analytical & his schemes go along way into the past. He even molded & exploited his men to his advantage. He has a tragic background & in the later chapter was able to validly show the pros & cons of Wilk & Hijikata’s plan’s while masquerading his as the more logical one. He can be a comic relief, terrifying, genuine, cunning, loving, despicable, handsome, disgusting & above all it creeps me out how alive he seems in the chapters! he’s so animated I feel he’ll leave the manga panel & invade my space!! good stories need well-written antagonist & the writer really hit it with Tsurumi! well-done.

Hyakunosuke Ogata: Another unpredictable character. Like Tsurumi, he’s given a tragic background & just like Tsurumi as well, he makes unexcused & horrible decisions. Clearly he’s mentally unstable (a running theme in GK). Ogata, in addition to being the best sniper in the show & performing well in war, chose to add innocent victims to his list. He shot his brother & even attempted to kill Asipra, any writer will make this as simply a lunatic character, but this writer chose to tie such unexcused behavior to Ogata’s unstable psyche to show that from his own perspective; it makes sense! Afterall, it’s simply “ normal” to not ever feel guilt over killing human. His brother comes to haunt him in one of the most cinematic scenes & even plays with his mind. You’d think Ogata has gone rouge against everybody? Guess again, he’s got allies. Told you it’s hard to predict!

Genjirō Tanigaki: loved, endearing & dumb. lol. he’s simply a “shoujo girl” in a historic war manga. Tanigaki started dark, torn, filled with guilt in one of the tragic background stories, but was released from his tormented soldier persona by a convict who taught him, it is okay to start a new again. Desert the army, let go of the past & start again. he’s rewarded with a wife & a daughter but not before going on a journey with the others to showcase his manly charms & naive persona! love him.

Hajime Tsukishima: Another fascinated character that silently took me off guard with how much I cared for him! I had to go back & see where did he start! He was a background character assisting Tsurumi, then slowly became a prominent character with his own fascinating background story where you feel for him & see the depth of Tsurumi’s manipulation. I can’t even begin to explain Tsukishima mentality & psyche in this short summary! he’s got depth! that’s for sure.

Otonoshin Koito: the youngest in the division & one of the youngest men in the entire cast, but got high army rank thanks to his father & joining a military academy. You wanna know how manipulative Tsurumi is? read Koito’s background story. epic! Koito is impulsive, stubborn, inexperienced & highly skilled. He’s a bit naive at times but not dumb. He’s got amazing comic relief value tied with plot importance! His dynamics with Tsukishima & Ogata & Sugimoto are brilliant! you’ll never get bored!

Tokishige Usami : another unstable character. He shares Ogata’s belief that it’s normal to not feel guilt. Through him the writer argues that whether you come from tragic background (Ogata) or loving family (Usami), not feeling the slightest guilt over killing human is not normal. Ogata kills his mother while Usami kills his friend, both were young when they did their first innocent kill. However, unlike Ogata, Usami is very loyal to Tsurumi & obsessive of him. He’s strong, skilled, deadly & very creepy!! like very~~~~ creeeeepy~

Kōhei Nikaidō: from one of the creepiest sadistic soldiers to a sad, mentally unstable & tormented shell. He’s become such a valuable comic relief! I used to shudder when I see him, now I can’t stop laughing. Hard fall for the sadistic Nikaido! lol.

Kiktua: a new addition. So secretive & appears level headed & has good sense of morals.

Airko: another new addition: Ainu soldier. Appears naive, with high morals yet indecisive.

I could say more abt each character, but this is meant to be a summary. Each character is deep & has broken mentality that led to their decisions whether excused or unexcused. The convicts & Hijikata are next! But I had to start with Sugimoto & the 7th division! cuz that’s the main dish!

[devochka15]

when are ppl gonna realize you can tag your posts however you want? like if you’re sensitive and easily get offended when you see shit that you don’t necessarily like then say that. not everyone can be mature enough and just scroll i guess. but dont be a wuss and go on anon to be hateful thats so cowardly. but then again they’re nesta stans so cowardice is in their nature. you keep doing you, and fuck them haters who claim you got no life and yet look at what they’re doing lmao

sending you good vibes🥰💛💛✨✨💓

Thank you so much! ❤️

I literally cannot scroll through any acotar character tags without seeing hate on everyone other then nesta and the second I do it they’re on my ass? Literally the energy nesta puts off lol. They can dish it out but can’t take it. It honestly didn’t occur to me until now but her stan’s make themselves the victim just like nesta does!

[weaselbeaselpants]

What the frack w. Lore Olympus?

So apparently Lore Olympus is the Hazbin Hotel of webcomics with some people dying by it’s cause and gushing over it obsessively and some people hating it with a burning passion like what’s going on?

I mean - I certainly have criticisms I could dish out.

I’m a PersepHades-shipper of a sterner taste: I like showing they aren’t a PERFECT couple and I prefer no Greek God being made into the defacto good guy or the defacto bad guy. And if there is a twist where a god is unrealistically cruel I want it explained in universe (I promise I won’t get into gushing about Hadestown, k? We can’t all be Hadestown...)

I originally liked Lore Olympus’ Hades a lot but now I think they’re making him too much of a pwecious cinnamon roll. Persephone has gradually become more of my fav on account of her being more interesting and not a walking moe-fantasy.

It’s Apollo I’m not down with....

Minthe you can muck up all you want because she has 0 personality in the og mythology but Apollo is made into stalkeryrapistmccreepershitter because...ugh...well we needed SOMEONE to be it and I guess Apollo is just there. So okay how come we can’t delve into how psychologically damning and rapey Zeus and Poseidon are (Poseidon straight up RAPED PERSEPHONE’S MOM)? How come ARES is a quirky-jerky and not an ax -crazy lunatic all the other gods hate? WHY DO WE EVEN NEED A DEFINITIVE BAD GUY? Why are we making said bad guy A RAPIST?!?!?! Can’t Apollo just be a jerk ass romantic rival and NOT a rapist because um holy shit that’s going from 0 to 30 on the “need character to make romantic tension-a thing” scale.

 One reason so many people like Hades is because western media has made him a villain, when of course, the og mythology wasn’t like that: When you’re a brainy prepubescent nerd learning that the blue guy from Hercules just wanted to be loved and how he mostly keeps to himself where it’s HIS BROTHERS who are the rapey jerks who cheat on their kidnapped wives - you just go “Baaaaaaawww” and make all this sappy HadesxPersephone fan art. I’ve been there. I know it.

And I guess that’s my problem...I don’t like one god being singled out and being made into the bad guy (not just a bad guy, a rapist) because we need a bad guy. I think I’d honestly just have preferred Apollo be a cliche romantic rival.

I DID think it was effective early on with Apollo thinking he and Persephone were a thing and not understanding what he did or how she felt. BUT THEN they dialed it up to 11 with him and ruined what I thought was a very mature and much needed take on the subject.

Still I give LO credit where credit is due:

- I love it’s art style

- I don’t mind it being an office drama/romantic comedy. Not the first or last time ppl have done that. I prefer these kind of stories avoid making things petty or amping up the drama and for the most part LO joshes that.

- The writers know their Greek mythology and are purposefully making these calls to said characters. This is why stuff like Apollo and Hades piss me off, where the extra bits like Persephone’s name and Helios’ bit are pretty cool.

- FROM PERSEPHONE’S PERSPECTIVE (again, best character) the sexual-abuse and nature of relationships is very well written and you can’t not feel for her. It’s a realistic take for survivors abuse but tbh feels more like what an edgy fan fic writer’s idea of a rapist is rather than a more realistic take like the rest of the comic is with it’s characters. Point being: if it isn’t it bad taste it CLASHES too much with the tone of the rest of the comic.

I like how LO is the antithesis of Fifty Shades of Grey by basically being about how Hades and Persephone don’t want a squicky-authority-subbordinate relationship. Nice to address he feels weird being into a much younger woman which so few stories like this do - if not fetishize it.

It is nice seeing Hera get some better representation. Even when ppl show Zeus’ bad side they tend to make Hera JUST a harpy wife when ugh god the feminist discussions you could have about her ~ *swoon*

Hades’ hair is reminding me of James from Pokemon.

Okay so I didn’t even know Apollo was bi. Sorry bi folk. Other than that though I’m really not on board calling this comic SO HOMOPHOBIC. Like the worst thing about it is there’s hardly any gay representation at all. When I think “well intentioned by unfortunately stereotyping” I again think Hazbin or Satellite City. I don’t think Lore Olympus. But hey you are talkin to an...aro(?) person here. Maybe I’m not the best judge.

---

Blah blah blah Problematic thing is problematic which is fine except when people make excuses for it blahblah blah you’ve all heard this before kiddies.

FTR: I still like Lore Olympus. It’s a critique. That’s all.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

[rexscanonwife]

All emotional ask with BeeJ~

Guess I’m doing all of them then!! :D Thank you so much, and thanks everyone else who sent emojis, @space-sweetheart, @ruby-flame, @nomournerzz , @the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers and @spectrumselfshipping! 💚 ily all so much!! 

😨 How does your f/o act when they’re scared? Do they cower behind you or act even more bold? Beej doesn’t get scared of things in the normal sense, he’s a demon who actively enjoys scaring the wits out of people. I think what would scare him the most would be going back to being invisible/alone, especially now that he knows that it feels like to be wanted and loved and supported. He knows that I love him too much to ever send him away again, but sometimes anxiety is really loud and when he gets really upset he likes to hold onto me and squeeze me a little too tight and nuzzle me a little too hard. I’ll run my hands through his hair and whisper soothing things to him until he feels better! 

😰 Alternatively, how do they act when you’re scared? Ok this is especially relevant now after what happened last night, but on the flipside Beej becomes livid and fiercely protective when I’m scared or threatened! I’d like to see someone try to keep their composure when faced with a fiery-haired pissed off demon!😘 How does your f/o flirt? Beetlejuice’s default state is flirting, and it’s not always super effective! It’s mostly really bad puns and poorly disguised innuendos, and no he does not stop flirting for even a moment after we’re officially together. He loves when I blush or scoff at him when he makes a particularly bad joke, and sometimes I react to it by kissing him because he’s an idiot but he’s my idiot.

😍 How well do they react to flirting or affection? Are they easily flustered? *rubs me widdle hands together* so more than a few times I’ve discussed this with friends (cried about it is more accurate but w/e) but he definitely can’t take what he dishes out! He’s used to being the one making advances and even more used to them being rebuffed, but when I react positively to them, or even more when I flirt back or give him affection he just completely forgets how to function!! Suddenly he’s at a loss for words and he’s the one blushing like crazy!

😭 How do they cheer you up when you’re sad? And vice versa? Beej will stop at nothing to see me smile again when I’m feeling down, there’s no lengths he wouldn’t go to, no joke too cheesy, he will not stop until he gets a laugh out of me! Actually, when I was first started listening to the album irl and I wasn’t sure whether I was feeling platonic or romantic for him, the thought of him trying to cheer me up was really what made me fall for him! 💚 When he gets sad I like to lay the praise and physical affection on even more than usual, I tell him that he’s the biggest baddest handsomest demon there ever was and that I could never love anyone more than I love him all the while peppering his face in kisses!! 

😡 What are your f/os pet peeves? I wouldn’t call it a pet peeve per se but I hc that Beej can’t stand people who drink or smoke! It’s a whole thing, reminds him too much of his mom. :(

🤒 Oh no! You’re sick - how does your f/o take care of you? Are they good at it? I feel like he would try his best but ultimately he’s not very good at the ‘taking care of’ bits. The dead don’t get sick so he doesn’t have a lot of experience with it outside of what he’s seen in movies or tv shows, and his soup ended up being completely inedible so I inform him that the best way to recover from being sick is some good rest. Since he’s not in danger of getting sick himself he’s happy to just hold me and let me snuggle up to him (he makes a very effective cooling pad for fevers) and though he’s still a bit noisy he eventually just watches me sleep and makes sure nothing gets in the way of my rest except for him! 

🤧 How do you take care of them when they’re sick? I actually never considered this before now so it was really fun to think about!! After we get married and he’s getting used to being alive, he also has to get used to things a living body does, like get sick. He’s soooo dramatic about it too, he would be whining and moaning about how he thinks he’s dying again, and I have to remind him that it’s only a cold and will clear up in a day or too. I make sure he rests enough, though it’s a chore and I basically have to knock him out with cold medicine at some point, but he loves being doted on! 

😔 What do you and your f/o like to do when you’re bored? I mean,, among other things, we like to browse the internet for funny tiktok compilations and complain about the ones that are bad, and on multiple occasions he’s had me film him doing something stupid in hopes of also getting tiktok famous. So far it hasn’t happened but he’s holding out hope! He likes to watch me draw or try to cook together, and after we’re married we try to make time to experience something new as often as possible, especially since almost everything would be new for him! 

😂 What is your f/os sense of humor? How do they feel about puns? It’s NONSTOP jokes with him, especially puns, and really morbid ones most of the time afhsflal. I really like his sense of humor though, and he always keeps me laughing! 

😴 How cuddly is your f/o when they’re asleep? He is the biggest cuddler ever!! He isn’t happy unless he has an arm or three around me, he just wants me as close as possible and to be able to nuzzle into my neck and smell my hair. It soothes him to the point of being able to sleep, and he likes to be cuddled in bed too! He’s not scared to be the little spoon and loves when I shower him with the same kind of affection!! 

👿 Does your f/o get nightmares? How do you help them with it? Once in a while! They’re mostly about the one thing that scares him, again, being invisible. When that happens I go about comforting him the same way as when he’s having anxiety about it, squeezing him tight and kissing him and reminding him that he’s not going anywhere. That I love him and want him around! 

😤 What is your f/o passionate about? Lots of things! Being the ghost with the most, loving his new family, being super handsome and sexy being a few of them. 

😶 How good is your f/o at keeping secrets (such as a surprise party)? He couldn’t keep a secret to save his life! He just gets way too excited and careless with his words and always manages to let it slip. Only when it’s something fun and frivolous, though, because he’s not really thinking about it. If it’s something more serious then he’s much better at keeping it secret.

😊 What makes your f/o happy? Aside from screams of terror or bad horror movies, being made to feel like he’s wanted! He’s spent so long longing to be seen and heard, all he’s ever wanted was to be included and feel like he’s allowed to take up space and that people want him around. I want to make him feel that way and I wanna make sure he never feels unseen again! 

Bonus for my autistic/ADHD folks - 😝 How does your f/o engage with you and your special interest/fixation? Do they help you infodump, learn as much as they can about your interests? Do they buy or make you things related to them? Ok literally tho my favorite thing ever is when ppl hc Beej as being autistic because I am too!! and I love the idea of him listening to me infodump about things I like or the way I talk about little fun facts I know, just him listening makes me really happy! and when he gets super excited he kinda stims through it and I like the idea of happy stimming with him and just relishing in the feeling ajhkfa,, 

[szopenhauer]

When was the last time you cried and what was the reason?: family issues

Do you believe in ghosts?: maybe

If you could live on the moon, would you?: almost all of it belongs to Tom Cruise so no 

What is your favorite time in history to learn about?: I just like many interesting history facts in general

When is the last time you felt discriminated against because of your gender?: not sure which situation was last

What race are you?: caucasian, white, european, polish, slavic

What is your favorite sex position?: I’m not into sex tbh Have you ever lost your SO to another person?: yup

Have you ever had a thing for a friend’s parent?: no

Have you ever believed in Santa Clause? from what I remember

Have you ever thought you were getting a surprise party, but you really weren’t? nah and I don’t like surprises so I’m glad I never really had a party like this

Have you ever forgotten someone’s birthday? I suck with dates

Has a friend looked bad in a profile picture and you didn’t tell her? it was my opinion but if they liked their pic then it’s their problem

Does it take forever for your internet to load websites? sometimes

Have you ever pretended to listen to someone but you really weren’t? yeah :x

Are you a bad driver, or do you know someone that is? I know some that are bad yet say they’re oh so awesome at it ugh!

Have you seen the animated movies Tarzan? sure

Have you actually called 911 for an actual emergency? If so, what was the emergency? not me but my parents

Do you sleep in the living room a lot? I never do

Did you enjoy watching The Flintstone’s growing up? yep

Do you wish you were born in a different year? kinda wish I was born after war and die before 2020 or even live in another time period 

What do you buy more: Movies or candy? neither

Did you used to eat chapstick when you were younger? ewww, noooo, not even toothpaste

What made you pick up the last book you started reading? I was watching a movie and heard that book has a different ending so I had to see for myself Have you received any bad or troubling news lately? shitload When was the last time you were relieved about something? I wish I was... What about your life concerns you the most? my health related issues mostly but also money and fam, love life, religion etc. Is there a common thing most people seem to do without trouble, but it scares you (talking on the phone, driving, interviews, etc)? When was the last time you had to do one of these kinds of things? there are, recently

Describe a time when you were there for a friend? were there in person? When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? days or weeks ago What is a situation that makes you feel especially confident? umm... Hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? Is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? depends Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I guess I’m easily offended Is there a belief you have that most others around you don’t have? Do you share this belief with others, or do you tend to keep it to yourself?  sure, might talk about it if asked and in the mood  If you’ve moved out from home, what was the scariest thing about it? What was/is your favorite thing about it? I didn’t move out yet but there are dark scenarios I imagine that could happen and they concern me What are your thoughts on “forgiving” murderers or rapists? Do you think it’s even possible to forgive these people? I wouldn’t forgive a rapist but particular murders can be justified If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? who cares about grades and cost when you have no possibility/talent/ability anyway?... Last item of clothing you purchased - do you wear it often? didn’t wear it yet Has anything made you feel nostalgic lately? lots What was the last chore you completed? I just helped mom around kitchen and bathroom - przynieś/podaj itp.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? sloth?

Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? nope, my mom is incapable, she whispers louder than when she’s normally talking to someone

Who was the best kisser you’ve ever dated? I’ve only kissed one person in my entire life

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? yesterday

this one

and I plan on doing smth similar

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? one of the most reliable sources that are available for free

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? meh

Do you want to repaint your walls? I prefer to move out 

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? hardwood

Who would you say is the most selfish person you know? majority of society

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? waste of the movie

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? dunno what I can count as one

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? weirdly protective

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? never had a chance to

Has anyone ever called you a good kisser before? I had my moment

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? she’s into men so...

Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? it seems that most of parents act this way

What’s your favorite hairstyle you’ve had so far? hmm...

How many dogs do you have, if any at all? 1

Do you think biting is weird or sexy? biting hard is very dangerous and I’m not into being bitten but I might/can bite a little

Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? neither but I'll “believe” slightly more in being beautiful than hot I think

Have you ever had a pet turtle before? yep

Do you still sleep with your parents when you’re scared sometimes? just once I had a bad night and my dad was working overnight so I went to my mom’s bed but then I left in the middle of the night anyway as she was snoring, not that it usually bothers me 

Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? saw pics on the internet only

How many surveys on average would you say you’ve done in your lifetime? shitload

Do you enjoy going school shopping? tiny bit as I enjoy shopping in general?

Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? adorable

Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? lookalikes

Has anyone ever knitted you something before? sure

Do you think there is a soulmate out there for everyone? then why some ppl die single?...

Do you like short or long surveys the best? it’s not about length, I need interesting questions

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? I didn’t try to make it pas for real wtf

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? *rolling my eyes*

How many uncles do you have? don’t know nor care as they don’t give a shit about me

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? nah, sometimes I feel physically bad because of it tho

How often do you shower? basically everyday

What is the absolute worst thing about high school? from my personal experience - stress

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? I don’t drink soda for years

Have you ever met an annorexic pregnant woman? woah I can’t imagine that

Have you ever simply looked at someone & could tell they were homosexual? oh well...

Do you have the ability to read someone without even knowing them? sometimes

Would you rather eat or sleep? sleep

Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? am not, especially Twilight - I didn’t read/watch it because it sounds awful

Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailor? yes 

Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? sadly

When was the last time you had a physical injury? this ending week

Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? not really

Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? nope

Is there anyone in your imediate family who was adopted? no

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any common sense? I meet many ppl like this often on the streets or online

Do you think you look anything like your parents? I know I do

Who is the skinniest person you know? Is it because of a disease? when it comes to look or weight? disease though

Is this year the best one you’ve had so far? r u joking?...

What color is your significant other’s hair? natural or dye? XD

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? yeah The best Christmas gift you ever gotten? The sims 2 as I dreamed of it and didn’t expect my poor parents will afford and give it to me ever, I was so moved that I cried and my sister was jealous and angry 

Who is your favorite actor or actress? can’t decide

What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? I don’t consider them cute when I receive them but kind of awkward actually but giving them is a different story

Do you believe in evolution or creation? smth in between, it’s complicated 

What group would you say you’d normally fit into the most? I feel that I wouldn’t really fit any

Are you better at drawing things or painting? drawing

Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? I am a failure

How long have you been on the computer right now? too long, about 6 hours Name three black things that you can see? celphone, pendrive, necklace would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing/laundry? dishes

[bastardnev]

Cheat Day

in which i inexplicably decided to write a fic about mustafa’s cereal-nutella-oreos breakfast combination

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: damn i guess i gotta start tagging aew in my nevstafa fics huh, Fluff, Silly, mischief involving nutella and oreos Series: Part 1 of Jess Has Too Many Fics In Her Notes Summary: Neville wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the scene in his kitchen that morning.

(ao3 link)

i ended up making a new tag list bc its been so long since i last posted a nevstafa fic + i didnt wanna tag ppl who might not be interested anymore -- im going off the likes/replies to the post i made abt this yesterday so if you’re not on the list and you wanna be added lemme know !! i’ll add you 🥰

tag list: @sailor-slam-dunk @residentjoth @riveliciousx @lambchopviking @storyranger

Neville wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the scene in his kitchen that morning.

He had heard Mustafa get out of bed earlier, but he figured he was just going to get breakfast started — it was his turn, after all. Technically, he still was, but not at all in the way that Neville anticipated. Rather than finding him cooking the pancakes they’d agreed upon the night before, Neville instead walked in on him preparing a bowl of cereal in a large serving dish he’d placed on the island. This in itself wouldn’t have been so odd (other than his choice of bowl) if he didn’t follow up his milk pouring with a big search around the kitchen. He was rummaging through the cabinets that lined the walls for... for something. Something that Neville couldn't quite figure out, especially since the only thing he could plausibly be looking for was a spoon. What a can of olives had to do with anything, Neville had absolutely no idea.

And so, he choose to ask him about it. “What the hell are you doing?”

Mustafa glanced over at Neville quickly before putting the can back and going right back to his hunt. “Oh, good morning. Where’s your snack stash?”

Neville blinked, confused. “My what?”

“Your snack stash. Y’know, where you keep the snacks?”

“I— I know what a snack stash is, Mustafa.”

“Then where’s yours? I know you have one — everyone does. Fess up.”

What was he trying to do? The fact that he still hadn't given Neville a clear answer was a bit concerning. “What does it matter where my snacks are? Wait, forget about that, aren’t you supposed to be cooking pancakes?”

"Who said anything about me making pancakes?"

"You did. Just last night."

"Ehh, that was just pillow talk."

"You told me about how badly you were craving them when we were eating dinner." Why would they be discussing pancakes during pillow talk, of all things?!

Mustafa scoffed, and he offered no further response other than continuing to push aside the items stacked up on the shelf. "Are you planning on answering my question at all?" Neville crossed his arms. "What are you doing?"

“You'll see!" Mustafa responded when he finally decided to speak again. "I’ve got something even better than pancakes in mind."

Mustafa placing a breakfast food above pancakes was almost enough for Neville to consider the idea that he'd been replaced with an imposter. Almost. “And, that is...?”

“A secret — until you tell me where your snack stash is, of course.”

Neville sighed, rolling his eyes. He knew there was no getting out of this no matter how hard he tried. “Oh for the love of God, it’s the one under the microwave,” he at last confessed.

“The only one I didn’t check!” Mustafa grinned, and he darted over to the appropriate cabinet, digging around excitedly. “Ooh, you’ve got a lot of good stuff in here!”

“No need for the commentary, just take what you need.”

“You’re pretty defensive over your candy, huh?”

“You’ve got the biggest sweet tooth out of anyone I know — how can I not?” Now that he thought about it, seeing as Mustafa now knew where he hid all of his sweets, Neville would probably have to find a new hiding spot once this visit was over...

“Hmm.” Mustafa pouted as he moved a variety pack of mini candy bars aside. “You bought the Oreos I asked for, right?”

“Of course.” Like Neville honestly wasn’t going to do so after Mustafa practically begged him to pick some up when he went on his most recent grocery run.

“You do love me!” The package of cookies in his hands, Mustafa triumphantly brought it over to the island, pulling back the seal.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing now?”

“Patience, Nev! Geez. You can’t rush these things, you know?”

Neville wanted to retort, but the distinctive crunch of Mustafa crushing a fistful of Oreos over the serving dish interrupted him, and all he could do was watch in silent awe (and confusion). Mustafa repeated this process over and over again, unblinking, until he’d gone through one of the sleeves. “There...” He muttered, sealing the pack back up and putting it aside. “Now for the last part...”

Last part? Neville found himself a little afraid to say this out loud. His question received an answer anyway, however, as Mustafa then returned to the cabinet, pulling out the large jar of Nutella that Neville was secretly hoping he wouldn’t notice. (Man goes through jars quicker than I can count.) "Not really much I can work with here..." Mustafa mumbled as he put the lid aside, looking at the jar's contents. "You ate it all on me. Naughty boy."

"I'm... sorry?"

"Better be." Mustafa then went to the silverware drawer and pulled out a big spoon, and before Neville could wrap his mind around what was happening he'd scooped out a healthy amount. "This'll work, though."

"What—"

Neville wasn't able to finish this sentence, as just as he was going to Mustafa let the Nutella drop right on top of his cereal. Neville looked back and forth between the bowl and Mustafa, who appeared to be debating what to do next with his messy spoon. Rather than put it in the sink like Neville assumed he would, however, he shrugged, dipping it into the bowl.

It was right as he was about to put a spoonful of cereal into his mouth that Neville decided to go through with asking his question. "Okay, what the hell?!"

Mustafa paused, spoon hanging in the air. "What?"

"What is this..." Neville gestured towards the bowl, trying to find the right words to describe what he was seeing. "This... concoction?"

"It's... my cheat day breakfast?" Mustafa said this as if it were the most obvious thing ever, like he couldn't understand why Neville so was baffled. "Duh?"

"How did you even come up with this?"

"Easy — I woke up one morning, couldn't decide what I wanted for breakfast, so I just mixed everything I wanted together. It's better than you think it is, really."

Neville pointed to the package of Oreos. "You wanted to eat those for breakfast?"

"You haven't thought about eating cookies for breakfast before? What are you, an amateur?"

"And— And the Nutella, what were you planning on doing with that if you hadn't thought to throw everything together?"

Mustafa didn't respond, instead choosing to avert his gaze. Suspicious, Neville followed up with, "You weren't seriously considering eating it straight from the jar, were you?"

Mustafa made eye contact with Neville again, and neither of them said anything for a solid few seconds. Eventually, though, Mustafa shot Neville a sheepish grin, and the latter brought his hand to his forehead, slowly shaking his head. "Oh, God..." He let out a breath. "All this, yet you still have those abs..."

"I sure do." Mustafa brought the spoon back to the cereal and mixed it up a bit. "Now, maybe instead of pickin' on me you can come give this a try. You might like it."

"I have no use for any of that."

"False — everyone needs this in their lives."

"Not everyone needs something loaded with sugar so early in the morning."

"What are you gonna have instead, then? Egg whites?" Mustafa shuddered at his own suggestion, and he held a spoonful out towards Neville, who leaned away. "You know you want toooo..."

Neville looked at the spoon with a narrowed gaze. He knew damn well that he gave in to Mustafa way too often (something about the look in his eyes, he figured). He'd told himself that he would stop being such a pushover when it came to him, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for him to stick to his word for once. Mustafa wanted him to try some food combo that he swore was amazing, something that Neville thought was completely ridiculous. He would be lying if he said he found it to be anything but.

...But he would also be lying if he said that he wasn't at least a little curious as to what Mustafa saw in it. Not to mention that he was giving him the dreaded eyes...

Neville said nothing. Instead, he took a few steps closer to Mustafa, allowing him to put the spoon into his mouth. "There we go..." Mustafa took it out a moment later, giving Neville a second to chew and swallow before asking, "It's good, isn't it?"

It was. "It's fucking disgusting."

"Liar, liar..." Mustafa singsonged, and Neville huffed. There was no point in denying it.

"Maybe you're right..."

"Ha! I knew it."

"Why do I always agree to go along with your nonsense..." Neville lamented, and Mustafa chuckled, leaning over to give him a kiss.

"Because you love me," he replied as he pulled away, and Neville struggled to hide the little fond smile that forced its way onto his face.

"...Yes, I do."