Ryuunosuke Akutagawa (self aware)
Self-Aware! Akutagawa Ryunosuke x GN! Reader
Warning: Yandere. Hints of stalking. OOC. Spoilers for "Dazai Osamu and Dark Era", "Dazai Osamu's entrance exam", Port Mafia arc, The Guild arc, Akutagawa's past. Menthions of mutilation. English is my second language.
Becoming self-aware
🧥 Ryunosuke Akutagawa was a Black-Fanged Hellhound. He is ready to commit heinous crimes for Port Mafia sake.
🧥 Ryunosuke Akutagawa was Ability User of Destruction and Disaster. Rashomon will tear anything and anyone by his command.
🧥 Ryunosuke Akutagawa is an Apostle of Calamity and Despair. He will earn Dazai's approval, no matter what.
🧥 Ryunosuke Akutagawa isn't real. The moment, he realized it, felt like Rashomon sank its fangs in its Master's soul, shredding every emotion he ever had.
🧥 But, the worst thing was, that his reasons for living was shredded alongside his emotions.
🧥 Akutagawa is strong. He trained to be that stronger. But, was his strength a result of his training? Or, he was created to be that strong? And, no matter what, he won't be stronger or weaker than his current level?
🧥 Akutagawa is loyal to Port Mafia. But, has his actions ever benefit Port Mafia? Or, no matter what he did, Port Mafia will exist, and his missions will end in success, even if he stayed in one please, without weapons and Rashomon?
🧥 Akutagawa was seeking Dazai's approval. But... Was he even created to be someone, who Dazai will accept? Or it was his destiny, to be a failure in Dazai's eyes?
🧥 Was Dazai-san even real?;
🧥 Akutagawa was on edge. He wanted answers, he wanted stability. He wanted to tear someone apart.
🧥 But he won't disobey Boss's orders. Mori orders them to find any information they can find.
🧥 Mori was real. Akutagawa choose to follow that order. Akutagawa knew, that, if he refused, it will make a difference.
🧥 Higuichi and Akutagawa were patrolling Yokohama together. That's how they saw The Guild's liner. And Guild leader, talking about not being real with old man with white beard.
🧥 Others also brought news. About Rats, Government, Hunting Dogs. And ADA. They were real. They also could do anything. And it will make a difference.
🧥 The difference wasn't big. At least, it was something.
🧥 And then, one day, he feels an entity's gaze on him.
______
Looking
Observing
It looked at them, like they were circus animals.
It was weak.
It was hiding far away from them.
Akutagawa spent hours, trying to tear through space. Trying to bring It to them. Trying to get to It.
For hours Rashomon's maw destroyed anything, that was on its way. For hours Rashomon's claws tear through walls and pavement.
And there was Gin.
His sister was acting strange.
Every morning, after waking up, she was writing pages and pages in notebook.
She doesn't show them to Akutagawa.
Only ones he saw one of the pages.
"How their day was"
One time, Akutagawa met Dazai during one of his countless tries to get to the Entity. To tear its throat!
Akutagawa's voice was firm.
"Should I make them suffer?"
Dazai's answer was emotionless.
"You had to get in line."
Was it a blessing? An order? Akutagawa will honor it nevertheless.
But one day, time reset.
And he, once again, was a sixteen-year-old boy, who killed Mimic's solder
And made Dazai-san angry.
_______
When they start feeling your presence
🧥 When Dazai-san pointed a gun on Akutagawa, he was ready. He was ready to use Rashomon as a shield. By his own free will.
🧥 But he couldn't.
🧥 He couldn't use it as he wants.
🧥 Only after the shot he finally managed to create a shield.
🧥 Did It mess with his ability? How dare it weak coward do something to him?
🧥 It will pay...
🧥 But why Dazai-san was so silent?
🧥 And then came the voice.
_____
"effective" "harsh" "other way"
"Strong" "deserved to [|||||||||||||||||]"
Akutagawa feels a wave of warmth. For one moment, he felt completely safe. Like nothing could ever hurt him again.
'Was it mocking him? Pitting him?'
Akutagawa looked around, trying to find the speaker. But, no one was here.
Was it the one, who was talking?
And Dazai-san looked like he was listening to it.
Akutagawa's voice sounded urgent.
"Where is it? Dazai-san, I can hear it. I am sure, this time, I will tear them apart..."
Dazai raises his hand.
His voice was uncharacteristically soft.
"No. You will wait. You won't seek them. Right now, you will only listen to their voice. Their words. And pay attention to their emotions."
_______
🧥 Dazai left without explaining anything. Akutagawa was left alone.
🧥 It... They left with Dazai.
🧥 Emotions? Words? Voice? The couple of words? Full of pity?
🧥 Or not?
🧥 Akutagawa closed his eyes. Remembering.
🧥 They didn't feel pity. It was... respect?
🧥 Akutagawa can't be sure. He needs to hear more.
_____
🧥 Next time he heard them was during clash with Mimic.
🧥 Still, no full sentences.
"Akutagawa" "strong" "hard-working"
🧥 But, now, Akutagawa can tell for sure, that it was respect.
🧥 Fight with Mimic was the same as previous time. Except one thing.
🧥 When Gide arrived, he didn't pay any attention to Akutagawa or anyone else. He was trying to shoot something invisible.
🧥 Sakunosuke Oda arrived again. He saved Akutagawa again.
🧥 And said something strange. But, Akutagawa didn't think too much about it.
"Hold tight, Blobby! We can't let Gide shoot you!"
🧥 Few days later, time resets again.
🧥 Akutagawa, once again, was trying to kill taxi driver. And again was defeated by Doppo Kunikida.
"Akutagawa [|||||||||||||] was awesome!"
🧥 The Voice didn't mock him. Still, only respect.
🧥 When he deals with the ability user, that controlled numbers, Akutagawa heard quiet
"Deserved."
from the voice.
🧥 And time resets again.
🧥 Akutagawa once again was trying to capture man-tiger.
🧥 And strange Light Blob was floating above man-tiger.
_____
Few days later, Mori Ougai and Fukuzawa Yukichi were discussing the creation of a Union. Union, to find a way to Their Guiding Light's world. To them.
Akutagawa feels conflicted.
Gin seems happy. She mentioned, that she can't wait to meet them.
Dazai-san seems happy. Often, he was talking to the air. Laughing. Joking.
And looking at something with so much warmth and... love?
Dazai-san was asking about the Voice. And his feelings towards them.
Akutagawa was honest.
"They are a simple person. I don't hate them anymore. But, I don't like them either."
Akutagawa just can't put his finger on it. He understands, why they want to get to the real world. But why so many people want to meet them? The Guiding Light?
He gets his answers one day.
_____
🧥 Akutagawa just follows Mori's orders. Gave a message to The Guild. Don't attack anyone.
🧥 Hawthorne and Mitchell were on their guard, but, nevertheless, promise to tell Fitzgerald about union proposition. This time, they were unhsrmed.
🧥 And on his way back to ADA/Port Mafia base, time reset again.
🧥 And he was a forteen-year-old boy from the slums.
_________
He was standing before Dazai-san like all this years ago.
But, he wasn't looking at him.
Right before Dazai-san was standing a figure, made of light. Same light, that Little Light was made of.
And they talked. Akutagawa heard sobs. And a wave of warmth
"poor" "friends" "strength"
"Akutagawa, I respect you. You are powerful. You had to become powerful. For yourself. For your friends. And you are powerful. You don't need anyone's acceptance. The words will never take away your power."
Akutagawa feels, how light figure hugged him.
[In reality, you run your fingers up and down manga page]
A flood of emotions...
Respect. Acceptance. Proud
Akutagawa feels, like he was in presence of the most important human in entire planet. Important for him. For everyone.
He finally got it. Why everyone love you.
Now, he was like them.
He wanted to protect them.
_______
🧥 Dazai-san start training him and Atsushi in working in pair.
🧥 So they can protect Dear Guiding Light.
🧥 Akutagawa was ready to train every minute of his life.
🧥 Making sure, that you are safe.
🧥 You and your happiness became his reason to live on.
And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.
_______
When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan
🧥 Akutagawa was first one, who gave you an Awakening materials, so you can have his UR card.
"Akutagawa, I love Leader Skill of your card!"
"Wow! So much damage! Are real Rashomon that powerful?"
"Akutagawa's Detective card are so awesome!"
🧥 Akutagawa gather materials by himself. Now Armory in Port Mafia base are on Max Level.
🧥 Because of his interface, Armory now gave materials for UR card awakening.
🧥 Akutagawa loves 'watching' movies with you and Gin. He and Gin will secretly watch videos you watch.
🧥 Ready to order Rashomon to chew through space to get him on your doorstep.
🧥 Will do anything, to keep smile on your face. To keep you protected. To destroy your enemies.
🧥 Akutagawa is a Black-Fanged Hellhound, Ability User of Destruction and Disaster, Apostle of Calamity and Despair.
🧥And you are his reason to live.
_____
You got another note from BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan.
From Akutagawa. With Awakening materials for his Summer card.
And a note.
"[Y/N]. Be careful. I don't want anything happen to you. Please, don't worry about anything. You are under my protection, remember that. Akutagawa Ryunosuke"
You smiled and open one of the Akutagawa cards, petting his chibi.
"I will be careful, I promise, Akutagawa. Thanks for worrying about me."
You didn't notice, that Akutagawa's eyes closed in bliss.
254 notes
·
View notes
I find the whole Atsushi being kicked out the Orphanage thing, very suspicious.
For one, Atsushi is explicitly kicked out. They could've just said oh it's because Atsushi aged out the system so he's graduated from the Orphanage.
But that's not what happens, Atsushi is kicked out because the tiger ate their crops and chickens.
Which... How?
How did the tiger that you have successfully kept contained, manage to escape?
They've known about the tiger for years, even prior to Shibusawa showing up. They've kept Atsushi locked up when this happens, they should know.
And yet, somehow Atsushi gets free? And the response they give is to kick him out, instead of locking him up.
Also, for people who love to call Atsushi a beast of calamity and say awful things to him... Why would they care to keep Atsushi in the dark about his ability?
They blame him for destroying the crops and such, they know he did it and yet they don't tell him. That feels on purpose, though I can't say why.
Also Atsushi killed Shibusawa, they would have to have known that and all these people who hate him didn't call him a murderer? And possibly covered up Shibusawa's death.
There's also the fact after Atsushi runs off, Fyodor has the Guild put up a bounty for him. If Fyodor's known about Atsushi (at the very least since he was 12) why let him leave only to chase him down again?
Unless, for whatever reason they need that to happen.
And I think the Orphanage knew that, at the very least the Headmaster does because his speeches to Atsushi involve him being outside.
That one day Atsushi will leave and have to survive on his own.
"If an imbecile like you seeks to survive in a world that abandoned you, you must learn to endure pain. If not, you will die in short order."
If Atsushi was locked in a cage most of his life, why would the Headmaster talk about him leaving? And yeah it could just be that Atsushi ages out and leaves like any other kid.
But Atsushi isn't any other kid, and he's still at the Orphanage after turning 18 and they give another reason for him being kicked out.
So it doesn't seem like that, at least to me.
It doesn't feel like an accident that Atsushi managed to escape as the tiger, and thus allowing the Orphanage to be rid of him.
Especially when Fyodor's involved.
77 notes
·
View notes