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animeomegas · 10 months

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The Quest for a Second Life - Part 5 - 50 Shades of Audacity (1)

KAKASHI X ALPHA!READER

Summary: If suddenly waking up in an uncanny office had been bad, this time was worse, because you had a job interview, and the guy before you had just stormed out in tears. Why did you pick this world again? And why is your boss an asshole? And sexy? And with a nice voice? Fuck, this wasn't going to be good. GN!Dom!Alpha!Reader x Multiple

Word Count: 10.8k

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, sex while both parties are a little tipsy, workplace violations, questions about someone not eating lunch due to being a workaholic, and overuse of the world asshole as an adjective. All alphas have dicks, fyi.

A/N: Happy Holidays everyone! And a special happy holidays to those who guessed that our next omega was going to be Kakashi!!! December is well underway and I'm working hard to get all these chapters finished in time for the epilogue to be released on Christmas! The dynamic is different with this one, but I hope everyone enjoys nonetheless <333 I hope you enjoy the choice for the second character, @omeganronpa I'm honoured to call you my friend <333

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Epilogue

In the span of one blink, you went from standing in the library with James, to sitting on an uncomfortable chair in some kind of office waiting room. No matter how many times you jumped between realities, you swore you would never get used to the complete sensory change that happened in milliseconds. You had changed positions, clothes, company and scenery just like that.

Trying to gain your bearings, you tried to take in your new surroundings. Your first thought was that you had some serious déjà vu, as James’ uncanny valley of an office sprung to mind. Seriously, how many times were you going to suddenly gain consciousness in a soulless office?

At least this one was a lot less creepy, you admitted. It had doors and windows for starters, but the cavernous size of the room also helped diminish the claustrophobic feeling. Rather than beige, the room was decorated in a tasteful, modern, monochrome, boring but inoffensive, and better than too much beige in your opinion.

The copious amounts of soulless corporate art on every surface were the final touches that convinced you this was a real office and not set dressing for purgatory.

The waiting room was full of people though. You hadn’t seen this many people in one place since Itachi took you into town, and the general air of anxiety coming off them all was putting you on edge.

You fidgeted, uncomfortable at suddenly wearing formal business wear. The blue folder that was sitting on your lap shifted slightly, but you paid it no mind as you straightened everything out and readjusted yourself into a more comfortable position. To your left, what you could only describe as the combination of a modern water feature and grandfather clock chimed, signalling it as 09:00 AM.

‘James? Can you hear me?’

‘I can, human alpha.’

‘Great. Can you give me a run down of this pocket dimension please? It’s been like, two weeks since I read the blurb.’

‘Of course. ’50 Shades of Audacity’ follows MC, an alpha graduate student who lands the role of personal assistant to one of the most famous CEOs of the time, omega, Kakashi Hatake. MC discovers that Kakashi is hiding a submissive streak, and together, they explore their relationship while preparing for the yearly Autumn Company Party.’

You nodded idly as James explained it, vague memories coming back to you. The man next to you shot you a weird look, and you realised you were nodding at seemingly nothing. You cleared your throat and shifted awkwardly. Whoops.

Regardless, the blurb put your current situation into perspective. When you had chosen the book, you had expected to enter the world already working as a personal assistant, but you had a sneaking suspicion that this was the job interview and all the people sat with you were competition.

To confirm your suspicion, you opened the folder on your lap, and yep, it was filled with important documents, including your CV, degree certificate, and several references. Damn, for someone decently young, you seemed to be the perfect candidate. That did relieve some of the tension. The world was literally set up to push you into the role, and you were the perfect candidate, surely there was nothing to worry about. For now, you decided to try and relax. Job interviews were a pain in the ass, but this one hopefully wouldn’t be too bad. And you could always talk to James to pass the time.

‘James, I know you must be thinking something along the lines of, ‘what kind of human picks a life where they have a job, when they could choose to not have a job?’’

‘I have never had such a thought.’

‘But I’m playing the long game, James,’ you continued, ignoring her response. ‘This Hatake guy must be rolling in it, and so once we’re serious, there would be no reason for me to work anymore! And it’s not like we’d get divorced in an erotica novel, that wouldn’t make sense, so I just need this job to meet him, make him fall in love with me, and then, if I stay here, I’ll have a fancy CEO husband, and everything will work out great.’

‘I see. I believe humans term that strategy, ‘gold digging’.’

You were planning to argue back, but your outrage died on your lips when you realised that she was kind of right. You were only going to choose this omega if you actually loved him, of course, but you couldn’t deny that the main reason you had chosen this book in the first place was the money and possibility of a cushy life. And being able to retain access to the internet which was something you’d have to give up for a life with Itachi.

‘What backstory elements are set in stone here?’ you asked, realising that the amnesia trick wasn’t going to work a second time.

‘Primarily your qualifications and educational history. You also own both a flat and a car, although how you obtained those is up to you.’

Nice, that gave you a lot of freedom to work with. Also… was your flat nice? And what about your car? You hoped so, but even if they weren’t, you could get Hatake to pay for a nice upgrade.

A man with a clipboard walked out of the office door to your left and everyone in your vicinity snapped to attention. He had brown hair and intense, dark eyes that were a little unnerving. “The interviews for the personal assistant job have now begun. You will be called up one at a time. Ren Shimomura.”

The man who had given you a strange look earlier got up and walked into the office with a confident smile, his briefcase swinging gently by his side. When the door closed behind him, everyone relaxed a little and went back to their pointless busy tasks.

‘So, James, what can I expect from this job interview?’ you asked. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared, even if the universe was going to intervene for your success.

‘That question is more difficult to answer than you might think, human. Despite this pocket dimension being one of the most popular in the erotica category, no one has ever successfully passed the interview and obtained the personal assistant job.’

Your stomach dropped. What? That couldn’t be right, could it?

You laughed nervously, sure that you had misheard. ‘What? Surely the universe needs the person to get the job.’

‘Yes, it has been causing quite the issue. This world has been scheduled for removal for being too difficult to follow. You will be the last person from your realm to ever enter this one, whether you decide to stay or not.’

‘Thanks for warning me before I picked it,’ you ‘said’, your mental voice taking on a tinge of bitterness. So, you were pretty much doomed to failure here? Great.

‘I didn’t warn you, human.’

‘I know.’

Your mental conversation ended as the door to the office opened and the man, Ren, stormed out, looking like he was holding back angry tears. He exited the room swiftly, without so much of a glance back.

That certainly didn’t make you feel any better about your chances.

Neither did your name being called seconds later.

The man with the clipboard smiled at you as you stood, folder in hand. “Just in there, Mr. Hatake is waiting for you.”

You nodded and approached the door. Right, this was fine. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself of your situation. You didn’t need this job. You wouldn’t run out of money without it, you wouldn’t get blacklisted or arrested if something went wrong, you couldn’t die if something went very wrong. The very worst-case scenario was that you bungled this, spent the next two weeks enjoying some alone time in this world, and then returned to your beautiful witch.

So, really, what reason did you have to be nervous?

With that in mind, you took a fortifying breath and walked into the office with your head held high. This CEO couldn’t scare you.

The design of the office was much the same as the waiting room, with a monochrome colour scheme and minimal furniture. The entire back wall was glass, which bathed the office in natural light, but cast shadows around the impressive desk in the middle of the room. Behind the desk was an imposing desk chair that was currently faced away from you. The back of the chair was so high that you couldn’t technically tell if Hatake was sitting in it or not. In front of the desk was a much less impressive desk chair; presumably that chair was for you.

You walked towards your chair, marvelling at how cliché the whole ‘tall chair spin reveal’ thing was. What was he, a Bond villain? The main question though, was if he’d also be accidentally flashing his nipples at you. You stifled a laugh imagining a scary CEO turning around in his chair only for the buttons on his shirt to come flying off.

“Did I say that you could sit down?” The voice came from the highbacked chair, which was still facing away from you.

The CEO’s voice was hot, you couldn’t deny that, but his attitude was already ugly. What kind of high and mighty asshole spoke to people like that? Were you supposed to just stay standing until he offered the seat when he couldn’t even be bothered to face you? Fuck that.

Suddenly, what was remaining of your nervousness bled out of you, replaced by annoyance. Honestly, you had already accepted that you weren’t going to get this job or this omega as soon as James had explained the situation, but maybe you could still get something out of this. Like catharsis. You could berate Hatake on behalf of every shitty boss you couldn’t berate in the past and then this world would still be worth it.

“Unless you’re suffering from short term memory loss, there’s no need for me to answer that question.”

Finally, that seems to goad him into turning around. The chair swivelled, revealing Kakashi Hatake in all his glory. He was dressed in the exact kind of suit you expected for someone like him, expertly tailored, incredibly expensive, and in a tasteful blue colour. Just peeking out from his collar you noticed some clear scent patches, and you imagined you’d find the same ones on his wrists. He had grey-silver hair styled in a way that must have required a significant amount of hair wax, and equally grey eyes, one of which had a vertical scar running through it. He even had a frankly adorable beauty mark, what the fuck.

Fine. He was hot. That didn’t mean he wasn’t an asshole.

The look he was giving you was somehow both disparaging and uninterested, like he was looking at a badly painted wall.

“Why do you want this job?” he asked, voice bored and condescending. “You don’t seem like you’d be particularly good at it.”

You grit your teeth at his blatant disrespect, “Jobs provide the money which can be exchanged for goods and services required to facilitate survival, you see. Perhaps the silver spoon in your mouth prevented you from learning that dichotomy.” You missed your witch.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. He held out a hand, and you wordlessly passed him your folder of documents. You were honestly surprised that he hadn’t just kicked you out already. His motivations became clear however, when he picked out your CV, ripped it in half, and then tossed it in the bin.

This asshole! You were furious.

Hatake pressed a button on a raised box on his desk and began to speak into it, presumably to dismiss you and ask for the next person to be sent in.

You didn’t need this job, you couldn’t get into any meaningful trouble, and this man was royally pissing you off. Something in you just snapped.

“Tenzou, send—”

You grabbed him by his boring, blue tie and stood, pulling him partially over the desk and towards you. He gasped in surprise, letting go of the button as both hands flew up to grab your wrist. You expected him to immediately pull you off him, but he didn’t. He was still, staring at you with wide eyes. For the first time since you’d walked into his office, it felt like he was properly looking at you.

“I am the best fucking personal assistant out of any of those people out there, and I will not have some bratty CEO talk down to me, understood?”

“I’ll call security,” he said quietly, voice strangely hoarse.

“Don’t bother.” You let him go and he fell back heavily into his ridiculous chair.

“Senpai?” The clipboard man’s voice floated through the speaker on the black box. “Is everything okay? You cut out.”

The man didn’t reply to the message, he only stared at you. His face was blank, but you had the feeling that there was a lot going on inside his head.

‘Remember the story, human.’

For a moment, you thought James was encouraging you to play nice for the sake of the story, but then you realised that she meant. Fuck, that’s right, Kakashi Hatake was a secret submissive. He was probably very turned on and very confused right now. You sent him a cocky grin.

“The job starts Monday, yes?” He nodded, dumbly. “I’ll see you then, 08:00 sharp. All my documents are in the folder.” You walked to the door confidently, and just as you reached it, you turned. “Have a good day, sir.”

You opened the door just as the clipboard man tried to do the same on the other side. You paid neither him nor any of the other candidates any mind, you just strode towards the exit, adrenaline rushing through your veins.

The fresh air and sun hit you as you stepped outside into the office’s car park.

‘James, oh my god, I grabbed him by his tie.’

‘I saw, human, it was very unexpected. No other human has attempted such a method.’

‘I would so be blacklisted if this were real, James. Did… Did I do a good job? It felt like I did at the time, playing up to his submissive side, but now I just feel like I was crazy and there’s no way he’d give me the job.’

‘Only time will tell, human, I do not have the answers.’

‘Time… I can do that.’ You gazed out over the sea of cars, all shimmering in the sun. ‘Now, James, which car is mine?’

…

Once you had successfully found your nicer than expected car, you headed to your mysterious flat. It took longer than you thought, but at least you’d learnt some more about James; she was terrible at giving directions and did not know what a roundabout was.

Your flat, much like your car, was nicer than you expected for a recent graduate that worked as a personal assistant. It was stylish and cosy, with lots of wood tones and warm, textured fabrics. It could have fallen out of an interior design magazine, right down to the perfectly placed bowls of fruit. The flat even had a guest room and a home office.

You were going to put this one down to porn logic again and figure out some sort of explanation for why you had the money for this in your backstory.

After doing some snooping around the flat, you flopped down on your bed, feeling strangely exhausted. You pulled out your phone (and how strange it was to have modern technology back!) and checked the date. It was Friday lunch time, and you didn’t have to go to the job, presuming you even got it, until Monday. That meant you had an entire weekend to do what you wanted. That was the best news you’d heard all day.

‘James, is the entire world, I guess, loaded, for want of a better word? Like, theoretically, if I travelled across the world to a random village, would the people there be real? Does the world function outside of the story?’

‘Once you choose to remain in a world, it functions exactly like the one you came from, yes, complete with up to billions of people who each have their own lives. Not everything is ah, loaded, in this demo though. I would recommend staying firmly within this city for the time being.”

‘Amazing! That’s so exciting, James!’

‘If you say so.’

Alongside modern technology, staying in this world would also give you more chance to travel. With Itachi, you would be mostly going on foot, perhaps on a horse if you were lucky, but here you could be on the other side of the world in a day.

That was for future you to weigh up though, right now you needed to find a bank statement of some kind, because you wanted to spend this weekend pampering yourself and you needed to know your budget. You could think about Kakashi Hatake and this world later, once you had your thoughts in order.

The weekend passed in a blur of bubble baths, food delivery apps, and films. You’d even gone for a dip in your complex’s pool. It had been nice to recharge. You had enjoyed spending time with Itachi immensely, but you’d had almost no proper alone time for over half a month, and it was sorely needed.

The only other thing of note happened on Saturday, when you received an email from Hatake’s company, which contained your new company account and login details.

…

Walking into work on Monday was a surreal feeling that you couldn’t put into words. No one acted like anything strange had happened. You were treated like a normal new hire, which you suspected meant Hatake had kept the details of your interview to himself.

Speaking of Hatake, he was apparently in meetings all morning and so you wouldn’t see him for a few hours. You didn’t know if you were irritated or relieved that your likely awkward reunion would be postponed.

“So, here is Kakashi’s calendar, which kind of functions like the core of your job,” Iruka, the man who was training you, said. “You’ll be in charge of organising his appointments and commitments and reminding him to attend them.” The last part was added with a tone that suggested Hatake had not always been the best at either being on time or showing up at all.

“Got it. No double bookings, and smack Hatake with a ruler if he tries to escape.”

Iruka snorted, but quickly smothered the laugh with a hand. “Pretty much. For today, I’ve gone through your inbox and marked the emails that require appointments as urgent. You just need to schedule them and add them to his calendar. It’s pretty busy at the moment because of the Autumn Company Party at the end of the month, so don’t worry if everything’s a bit much. My desk is over there, so you can ask for help at any time, okay?”

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver.” You grinned at him, and he smiled back.

“Good luck!” With that he was gone. That wasn’t the first time the Autumn Company Party had come up, but you still weren’t sure what that had to do with the plot of his pocket dimension. It certainly wasn’t as straight forward as ‘collect the potion ingredients’.

‘James, what’s the deal with this party? What’s going to happen at it?’

‘There are many, many ways the event can play out, human. Seeing that you are the first to make it past the interview, I cannot even tell you which outcomes are most likely.’

‘Damn. Well, thanks anyway.’

You ended up whizzing through your work. It was incredibly simple, which could have been because they were taking it easy on you for your first day, or because work in general was easier in porn universes. You finished before Hatake was freed from his morning meetings, so you decided to do a little googling on your new boss. As such a high-profile CEO, you were sure you could find some information on him.

You put his name into the search bar and scrolled through the top results.

There were mostly news articles and links to the company websites, but eventually his Wikipedia page popped up and you clicked on it, skimming down the paragraphs immediately. Your eyebrows kept rising up as you read. His father, the original founder of the company had committed suicide when Kakashi was four years old, leaving him an orphan. He had been immediately added to the company’s board of directors (at four years old?!), and when he’d turned eighteen and those overseeing the company didn’t seem keen to pass it back to him, Kakashi had staged a business coup and seized control by force.

Jeez, what a life story.

Closing the Wikipedia page, you opened a couple of articles instead. One was a gossip magazine speculating on his famous bachelorhood and why he hadn’t settled down yet. Another was talking about the large donations he had made to several dog and animal welfare charities. The third was just a listicle of pictures of him from various point throughout his life. Ha. He looked like he was such a cute, grumpy kid.

You had to admit that his character was perfectly set up to redeem him for being an asshole at your first meeting. Dead parents, a tragic backstory, betrayal from those supposed to look after him, an animal lover… You bet that he had been forced to supress his emotions to avoid being manipulated as a child, too. That was about as stereotypical as you could get. Were he a fictional character, his fans would easily excuse any rudeness and ruthlessly defend him online. And that was fine, but they weren’t the ones who had to be on the receiving end of his rudeness.

Ugh, you didn’t know what to do with him. On one hand, you were happy ignoring him for being mean to you in your interview, but on the other, you kind of wanted to get to know him to see what the story was about. Maybe you’d put in a bit of effort as a show of good faith, but if he insisted on rebuffing you, you’d give up and find some other way to enjoy yourself. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan.

Dog lovers were your weakness, so you couldn’t give up on him completely, not just yet.

You closed the tabs and, checking the time, you realised you still had some leeway before Hatake was free. You needed to come up with your backstory sharpish, because you didn’t have amnesia this time, and people would likely start asking questions about you once lunch hit. Best get your story straight first.

You grabbed a post-it note and jotted down your favourite acronym, MLHH (Money, Love, Health, Happiness), to keep you on target.

Loving parents, you definitely wanted those. Were they the ones you wanted funding your lifestyle? Hmm, no, how about a rich, eccentric aunt that sent money all the time? Yes, you’d always wanted a fun, rich uncle or aunt to spoil you. Perhaps she had been the one to buy you the house and car. You jotted it all down. You also crafted yourself two best friends and a couple of hobbies, just to enrich your life. As per James’ instructions, you left the academic stuff alone.

“Am I paying you to write details about your own life on post it notes?” A sudden voice from behind made you jump, smacking your knees on the underside of the desk with a bang.

You laughed awkwardly as you came face to face with the man of the hour, Kakashi Hatake, who had chosen a charcoal grey suit for today, giving him an overall monochrome vibe that matched the office building. He was staring at your post it note, unimpressed.

You snatched the note and put it in your pocket. Quick, find some way to change the subject!

“I’ve updated your calendar with more meetings and commitments. This afternoon you only have a phone call with a representative from a company that sells… custom dog bandanas?” You decided not to question it. “The rest of the afternoon is business as usual.”

He watched you for a moment before he nodded, and turned to enter his office door, which was only a few feet from your desk.

“Just so you know,” he said, turning to look at you over his shoulder, “more work is periodically added to your task list, you just need to refresh the page.”

The door slammed shut behind him. You made a frustrated noise. He was so rude, with his annoyingly hot face and perfect voice. God, he got on your nerves like no one else. Ugh, you already regretted deciding to give him a chance.

You refreshed the task list and watched it fill up with new tasks.

Why did you pick a world where you had a job again? Oh yeah, you were playing the long game. The long game sucked.

You spent the rest of the workday completing tasks and flip flopping on whether it was worth trying to chase the plot and romance Hatake. Instinctually you led towards no, but when you remembered how he’d responded to you in the interview, you wavered. Ultimately, your curiosity was too much to resist, so you hatched a plan to spend some time with him.

…

“Did you have someone sneak you lunch through the window, or have you not eaten yet today?” you asked, waltzing into Hatake’s office at exactly 17:05, coat and bag ready to leave.

Hatake finished whatever he was writing before putting down the pen and giving you a flat look. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business, and I’m certain I told you to knock before coming in.”

“Firstly, the workday ended five minutes ago so you’re not the boss of me anymore. Secondly, that was the clearest no I’ve ever heard. You should make time to eat lunch, you know, it’s good for you.”

“If you don’t have anything of use to say, then leave.” Ugh, why were you dealing with this asshole again?

“Actually, I do.” He raised an eyebrow at you, like he was already dismissing your message. “Get dinner with me.”

That actually seemed to catch him off guard, if only for a moment. You had honestly been wondering if the side of him you glimpsed in your interview was some kind of hallucination, but there was a flicker of that same man now. Unfortunately, although you could see that, you could also see the moment he shut down the reaction and returned to his flat, impassive stare.

“I’m busy this evening—”

“I already moved your appointment to tomorrow morning.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. You didn’t know if it was irritation at your messing with his schedule or at interrupting him, but you did know that you were getting on his nerves. Good.

“And I suppose, if you’re inviting me, then you’re paying?” he challenged. “Fair warning, I have expensive taste.”

‘James, quick, what’s the best restaurant in the area?’

‘Kakashi Hatake often visits a restaurant about two miles from here, called La Liaison. It’s French, and incredibly pricy.’

Right, you tried to remember what you’d seen you your bank details. You could definitely afford one fancy meal; it was affording everything else after that that was the problem.

Hatake’s smug face at your hesitation spurred you on. You wracked your brain for some kind of solution.

‘James, if I decide that my rich aunt sends me large lump sums of money every month, will my bank account automatically replenish by the end of this demo?’

‘Technically, yes, although it will only happen if you choose this dimension permanently, as your rich aunt does not yet exist. You must also remember to speak or write any information you want to be true for it to take effect.’

Perfect. You could wipe that smug look off Hatake’s face, live a bit more frugally for the rest of the demo, and if for some unknown reason you chose to stay here, you’d have your money automatically replenished. You just had to remember to write the details down after dinner tonight.

“Of course, it’ll be my treat,” you smiled, tips tight. “Do you like French food? I heard La Liaison is lovely.”

Kakashi studied you for a moment, like he was trying to figure out what game you were playing. Just as you thought you’d won the little verbal exchange, Hatake sent you a mocking eye smile. “And how are you planning on gaining a reservation at such short notice? The next available evening bookings are for two months from now.”

You tensed up like you’d been dealt a physical blow. Fuck, you forgot about bookings. There was no way you could allow him to win just like that, though. You took a deep breath, porn logic, I believe in you, please help me out, I’m trying to woo him, just as you wanted. Kind of.

“I’m sure it will all work out!” You voice was artificially chipper, and you could tell that Hatake was picking up on your anxiety. “Come on, what’s the harm? Let’s go!”

He watched you evenly. That was one thing you’d noticed about Hatake; he always thought before he spoke, choosing each action and word carefully. It made sense once you considered his childhood and was equal parts sad and irritating.

Just when you thought he was about to refuse and dismiss you, Hatake chuckled and stood, closing his computer and grabbing his suit jacket from the back of his ridiculously dramatic desk chair.

“I’ll have my chauffeur drop us off,” he said, walking to the door. You followed, kind of stunned that he had agreed at all. He locked the office door behind him. “There’s no parking available at this time of day in the town centre.”

You walked through the office side by side, watching your coworkers pack up or work late.

Everyone noticed you two, armed with bags and coats that made it obvious you were leaving together. There were gasps, there was gossiping, there were whispers. The man with the clipboard, who had introduced himself to you as Yamato, looked like he had seen a ghost. Was it really that strange to see this CEO leave work on time, or was it because he was with you?

Hatake paid them no mind, and you tried to do the same.

It was strange that he agreed to join you, but you didn’t get your hopes up that this meant he suddenly liked you. It was more likely that he was coming in order to force your hand. If you were humiliated by there being no tables, or not being able to afford the food you said you could, it would likely stop you from bothering him outside of work again.

You just really, really hoped there would somehow be a table.

Once you arrived at the car park, there was a sleek, black car waiting for you. You weren’t sure if Hatake had somehow called ahead without you noticing, or if his car was already ready for him, but it was very convenient. If the chauffeur was surprised that Hatake had a guest, he didn’t mention it.

The car was so obviously expensive that you felt a little uncomfortable sitting in it. You had never been so conscious of your hand placement in your life. The brat of a CEO didn’t seem to have the same problem, relaxing easily against the leather, looking right at home. He gave the driver the name of the restaurant, and you were off.

You took a moment to beg the pocket dimension that somehow you would be able to get a seat. ‘Porn logic, I’ve always loved and respected you, please pull through for me, just this once! I won’t be able to handle Hatake’s smug grin without punching him in the face.’

‘My name is James, human, and I cannot control these pocket dimensions.’

You snorted, ‘I wasn’t speaking to you James, sorry.’

“What’s so funny?” Hatake asked, breaking the silence. Oh, you had laughed out loud; you had to stop doing that. Were you also doing it when you were with Itachi, but there were just fewer people around to comment on it? Itachi seemed like the sort who would take a lot of weirdness in stride.

“Your face.”

Hatake let out an amused breath, “Are you always so childish?”

“What can I say? You bring out the worst in me.”

“Approximately five minutes until arrival, sir,” the chauffeur said, speaking through a speaker that connected the front and back sections of the car.

“Just Kakashi is fine,” he sighed. “I’ve told you that a hundred times.”

“If you say so, sir.” Hatake rolled his eyes but dropped the issue.

The final five minutes passed it silence.

…

La Liaison was a small modern building nestled at the very end of the high street, decorated in pastel blue and covered in artificial ivy. The whole building exuded a timeless elegance that made you glad your work dress code was formal. Stepping through the doors, you were welcomed by warm lighting, live piano music, and an impeccably dressed host. This was the exact kind of place you could see Hatake fitting right in.

“Good afternoon, and welcome to La Liaison. Can I take the name on your reservation, please?”

You could practically feel the amusement radiating off the smug asshole behind you as you were faced with the exact situation he had predicted. You just had to go for it. You believed in the porn logic!

(And if it didn’t work you were going to return to your flat with your tail between your legs, make James pull you out of this dimension early, and then ask Itachi for a potion that could remove memories instead of bringing them back.)

“Ah, well, we don’t technically have a reservation, but an acquaintance of mine mentioned that they just had to cancel theirs, so we were hoping there’d be a free table.”

Please work, please work, please work.

The two seconds between your request and the host’s response felt like an agonising eternity. Failure wasn’t an option; you couldn’t lose to your awful boss.

The relief you felt when the host’s face melted into a smile almost knocked you to your knees.

“Is that so? Yes, I just got off the phone with them, you’re lucky no one else has claimed the table yet. If you’ll pass my college your coats, I’ll take you to your table.”

Yes, yes, yes!! You loved porn logic so much. It seemed like anything was fair game as long as it pushed you and Mr. Smug together. Speaking of Mr. Smug, you mouthed ‘I told you so’, as you walked to your table. He did not respond.

The table was, unsurprisingly, very romantic. It was secluded away in the corner, pressed up against a window and yet sectioned from the rest of the restaurant by a divider. The table sat two people, and its white tablecloth was covered in candles and rose petals. Of course, the cancelled reservation was for a romantic date. You weren’t going to complain though; a table was a table.

You both sat down. You briefly debated pulling out the chair for Hatake, but you decided against it at the last minute. You were both handed menus and informed of the soup of the day before the waiter left you in peace. The illusion of privacy helped you relax, despite the stuffy atmosphere.

“An acquaintance, huh?” Kakashi asked, unfolding his napkin and laying it over his lap. He obviously didn’t believe your lie.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly annoying?” you said, instead of answering his question.

“Once or twice.”

“Well then,” you shot him a sarcastic smile, “I’m glad you have such honest people in your life.”

“As am I.” The eye smile he sent you this time seemed more genuine, and you had to hold back your laugh.

The conversation faded for a moment as the background chatter from the rest of the restaurant filled the space. It was weird to be here with him, and maybe you were still riding the high of getting a table, but you were already enjoying yourself.

“So… you come here often?” you asked, picking up the menu. You supressed a wince at the prices. “It seems like you’re right at home.”

“It makes for a convenient location to dazzle those who demand such treatment before they’ll sign anything.”

“Ugh, so this is where you take people to schmooze them? Gross.” You flipped over the menu to find the drinks section, only to belatedly realise that the drinks had their own menu already on the table. “I can’t imagine you doing that successfully; you’re so rude.”

“Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.”

The way he reused your words from earlier reluctantly brought a smile to your face. Okay fine. Fine! You’d admit that he was witty, and you had some good chemistry. And he was hot. But that was it! That didn’t mean you were going to fall in love with someone so annoying!

‘I believe you were also interested in his love for dogs, human alpha.’

‘James, I’m trying to live in denial here, and you’re ruining it.’

‘My apologies. Does that mean that I should also refrain from mentioning your obvious obsession with his beauty mark?’

Sometimes, you weren’t sure that James wasn’t an elaborate troll.

Scanning the menu, you decided the vegetarian pasta looked nice. And if it was also the cheapest thing on the menu, well that was just a coincidence. This better be one of the best meals of your life.

Kakashi left his menu completely untouched. Right, he’d been here countless of times to charm people into signing away their money. He was probably treating this dinner as something similar, but with you wanting something from him instead. You doubted he’d believe you if you said you were doing this out of curiosity. But the questioned remained, how could you make this feel different for him?

Suddenly, it hit you; he liked when other people took control. You had an idea.

‘James, can you tell me what Kakashi normally orders from here?’

‘He always orders one of the seafood dishes, accompanied by a white wine.’

Right. Perfect. What you were about to do would be so out of order in real life, but you had plot armour, and honestly you wanted to see what would happen.

When the waiter returned, he directed his, “Are you ready to order?”, towards Kakashi. He probably recognised him if he was a regular, and figured he was schmoozing another hapless soul.

That didn’t fit what you had in mind though.

“Yes, we are,” you said confidently, before Kakashi could speak. “We’ll have a bottle of the Chateau Sixtine Blanc and some still water for the table. For food, I’ll have the vegetarian pasta, and he’ll have the Coquilles Saint-Jacques.”

Kakashi’s stare was intense, but he didn’t intervene. The waiter seemed taken aback that you were ordering for the table, but when Kakashi made no move to dispute what you’d said, he nodded, collected your menus, and left. You expected to be admonished in some way, but Kakashi remained silent.

Drinks arrived quickly. The waiter poured you both a glass of the wine and some water before he was gone again. Kakashi picked up the wine glasses and swirled it dramatically before taking a sip.

When he spoke, you had expected a question about how you found out his usual order, or perhaps a comment on the wine, but no, instead, he was his usual blunt self.

“I wonder what it is you’re hoping to gain from this.”

“That’s fine, you can wonder all you like.”

He sent you a measured look, “Has anyone ever told you you’re incredibly annoying?”

You grinned, “Nope!”

“I see. Well, I hope you’ll be blessed with some honest people in your life soon, I’ve found having them around to be extraordinarily helpful.”

You snorted mid sip of wine, which probably didn’t look attractive. Coughing, you looked up, expecting a judgemental look for behaving such a way in a fancy restaurant, but Kakashi just looked amused.

“Can I ask you a question?” You dabbed your lips with your napkin to soak up any stray wine drops. “What was the deal with that interview? It didn’t seem like you even wanted any applicants there. Was it just some weird form of employment hazing?”

“Simple. I didn’t want an assistant; I work better alone.”

“Then why hold the interview at all?”

“The board of directors were very… persistent. I knew they’d only shut up if I scared off every personal assistant in the city.”

You sent him a searching look, “But you hired me.”

“I did.”

“Why?”

He shrugged, “You had comedy value.”

Comedy value!? This dick.

“Liar,” you shot back. “You just think I’m hot, admit it.”

You got another one of his infuriating eye smiles. “If you say so.” God, you wanted to punch him, and maybe kiss him. Fuck.

“Whatever, just know that it’s your turn to pay for dinner next time, an I’m ordering the most expensive thing I can find.”

“If we go out for dinner too often, people will talk.”

“As if they aren’t already,” you said, referencing the sate of the office you’d left behind. You’d bet that they’d all stayed late to swap theories. “Yamato looked at us like a child who’d just walked in on his parents having sex.”

Kakashi seemed amused, “He would not appreciate that description.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true.”

As the conversation flowed, so did the wine. You were surprised by how much fun you were having. Hatake was a great conversationalist and the rapid-fire banter had you laughing out loud more than once. The food was just as good as you’d hoped as well.

To your utter delight, Hatake’s face turned pink as he drank. So cute. You couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out to feel the warm skin. Kakashi leaned into the hand in an almost nuzzle. You did not expect him to reciprocate. Shocked, you froze, hand still on his cheek.

Hatake seemed surprised too because he suddenly wrenched himself away from you. You pulled your hand back like it’d been burnt.

You’d bet anything that he was touch starved.

“Sorry, Hatake, I don’t know why I—”

“Kakashi,” he muttered, “you can call me Kakashi. Everyone does.”

“Kakashi,” you repeated, sending him a small smile. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. You kind of wanted to lick his face.

Kakashi’s phone buzzed in his pocket, shattering the moment. Disappointingly, he immediately slipped it out of his pocket and checked the message. You weren’t exactly surprised that he put checking his phone over your conversation, but it was still rude, whether you expected it or not.

Kakashi made an amused noise as he saw the expression on your face. “I only have audible notifications on for important people; I’m just checking to make sure nothing is wrong, there’s no need to look so offended.”

You sputtered, face heating up, “I’m not offended! I was just thinking it was rude to check your phone at dinner.”

“Ruder than ordering for someone else without their permission?”

“Whatever,” you mumbled, crossing your arms. “You liked it.”

Kakashi didn’t acknowledge you as he checked his messaged. You watched his eyes move from side to side as he read, before he eventually barked out a laugh and put the phone away.

“What’s funny?”

“One of my friends evidently found out that I was out to dinner. He has wished us luck on our youthful endeavours.”

You pulled a face at the weird phrasing. “He sounds… interesting.”

“You have no idea,” Kakashi said before emptying his wine glass.

“People seem so surprised about this. You don’t get out much then?”

Kakashi barked a laugh that sounded surprisingly bitter, and then didn’t elaborate. In true erotica love interest fashion, there was something brewing below the surface. Touch starved, orphaned, rich, but lonely, he was about as stereotypical as it got. You wondered if he’d also killed someone like Itachi? Hmm, probably not. This was a modern universe, and there were normally more severe consequences for things like that. It would have at least been mentioned on his wiki page.

By the time you had finished eating, the city outside the window had lit up in the darkness. The traffic had died down once rush hour ended, but the occasional car still passed by. You checked your phone and realised you’d been having dinner with Kakashi for almost two hours.

Your pride didn’t stop you from admitting that the time was flying because you were having fun.

Still, it was getting late, so you waved down a waiter and requested the bill. You were hoping that, seeing as you’d taken charge with ordering, that he would… yes! The waiter put the bill down in front of you instead of Kakashi.

You grinned at him smugly; you’d been assigned dom by wait staff.

He rolled his eyes at you, but you could see the smile on his face.

The bill wasn’t great, but it could have been worse. Clearly you hadn’t managed to keep your grimace supressed completely though because Kakashi noticed.

“Having second thoughts?” He was annoyingly observant.

You had never pulled out your card faster, grateful that you’d found your pin number written down in some old documents in your flat. Kakashi watched you pay, a strange glint in his eyes.

Did he assume you were going to dine and dash and make him pay or something? No… that wasn’t it. His ears had gone red too, and not from the alcohol.

He liked it, you realised gleefully. He liked that you ordered for him. He liked that you paid for him. He liked that you had decided on the place and time and dragged him along. It fit his reaction and it fit his character.

You were certain that most of his acquaintances either saw Kakashi as some kind of aloof, ‘didn’t believe in love’ character, or as a hard dom. And on the surface, sure, you could understand why they thought that, but how could anyone continue to think so once they spoke to him properly, when he was practically crying out for someone to take care of him?

Exhilaration ran through you. Maybe you were in this for more than just curiosity now.

“Come on,” you said, standing. “It’s getting late, and I still need to get my car—Shoot, I’m probably over the limit. I guess it’s a taxi for me then.”

“I can drop you home.” Kakashi stood as well, and you both walked to collect your coats. “It won’t be a problem.”

“Thanks,” you said relieved. You needed to at least try to budget after the amount you just spent on dinner.

Just as you were putting on your coats, Kakashi’s phone ran in his pocket. Remembering what he said about only having important people on vibrate, you remained silent as he took the call. You couldn’t quite make out the murmurs on the other side of the call, but Kakashi didn’t look pleased.

“Right… Okay… And there’s no alternate route? Of course… It can’t be helped, just meet me at the office.”

Did he have a last-minute work obligation perhaps?

“Yes, okay, I’ll see you soon.” He hung up the phone and slipped it into his pocket. “Bad news, there’s been a minor accident on the road and my driver can’t get to us. We can get through on the pedestrian pathways just fine, so we’ll have to go back to the office on foot.”

“Oh, that’s not a big deal, it’s only about twenty minutes, right?” You didn’t understand why he seemed so serious about a minor hold up. Did he think you were going to be mad at him or something? Kakashi relaxed imperceptibly as it became clear that you didn’t mind.

It only occurred to you later, once you were well into the walk, that Kakashi was used to schmoozing a bunch of hoity toity rich people at La Liaison who probably would throw a fit at such a minor inconvenience. Those kinds of people were the worst.

“Why did you ask me to dinner tonight?” Kakashi asked. He spoke casually, but in a way that suggested the casualness was being used to disguise a more serious question.

You knew that he wouldn’t stop until he got an answer that satisfied him, and you didn’t want your relationship to be stained by doubts as to your intentions, so you decided to give him an answer as close to the truth as possible. If you started talking about erotic fiction, he’d probably call some kind of doctor.

“Because you seemed miserable, and I was curious about you. Figured this would kill two birds with one stone. Also, you piss me off, I won’t lie.”

“You took me to dinner because I piss you off?” Kakashi asked, a ghost of a smile on his face. “Is that some kind of fetish or is it a psychological defect?”

You squawked indignantly and tried to hit him on the arm. He dodged it, laughing.

“You’re one to talk! You hired me after I grabbed you by the tie in a job interview. That’s got to be a fetish and a psychological defect!” You shoved him on the shoulder, and he immediately shoved you back, and before you knew it, you were having a children’s battle on the street.

A random woman from across the street gave you a dirty look, you stuck your tongue out at her. Kakashi giggled, like, actually giggled, and that sent you into hysterics.

Maybe you’d had more to drink than you thought.

“You know,” you said, throwing your arm over his shoulder, “next time I take you out, we’re going to McDonald’s. It’s cheaper, and I think it’ll be funny to watch you sit there in your suit. Wait, have you ever been to a McDonald’s before?”

“I’m wealthy, I’m not an alien.” He rolled his eyes at you. He seemed to do that a lot. You couldn’t imagine him sitting in a McDonald’s. “I go every other week because my dogs like the carrot sticks from there.”

“You feed your dogs carrot sticks from McDonald’s?”

“Yep.”

“Have you ever considered, I don’t know, buying a pack of carrots?”

“No, because they like the ones from McDonald’s.”

You shook your head in disbelief. Rich people were crazy. “How many dogs do you have anyway?”

“Eight.”

“EIGHT?!”

…

Car parks at night, familiar or not, were unnerving in the way that liminal spaces always were. At least you were almost at the office doors, where Kakashi’s chauffeur was going to pick you both up. You were glad to finally get there, because as fun as the walk had been, the Autumn night was surprisingly chilly, and it was taking genuine effort to remember all of Kakashi’s dogs’ names. You were honestly surprised that the porn logic didn’t add any strange occurrences on the walk.

Naturally, the second that thought formed in your head, something happened.

As you passed round the side of a tall fence, your shirt got caught on a stray piece of metal. What would have been a minor inconvenience, barely a rip, in your old reality, was a complete pornographic disaster in this one, as every button on your shirt somehow ripped off, leaving your shirt hanging open.

The cold air hit your skin and goosebumps erupted all over your chest. Yelping, you dragged the pieces of shirt back together and held them firmly closed. Obviously, you weren’t fast enough to stop Kakashi from getting a look. The way he was pointedly looking away from you, rosy cheeked, said it all.

“Stupid fence,” you grumbled, giving it a dirty look. This wasn’t exactly the first time, or even the coldest time, that porn logic had decided to spontaneously strip someone, but it always managed to catch you off guard. Did the people who lived in erotica worlds always carry spare changes of clothes just in case?

“Are you hurt?” Kakashi asked. He sounded a little awkward, but ultimately sincere. It was nice that he’d decided to go for genuine concern over sarcasm, and you decided to do the same.

“I’m fine, it just caught me by surprise. At least it’s dark so no one caught an eye full.”

Kakashi coughed. Okay, no one apart from him.

“I’ll send a message to maintenance in the morning, but for now, I have a spare shirt in my office that you’re welcome to borrow for the evening.”

Huh, what do you know, people did keep spare clothes around. You were about to decline, citing the late hour and the fact that you were wearing a coat that you could do up, when you realised what was happening. You’d bet anything that something sexy would happen if you followed him up to his office.

“That would be great, thanks.” You weren’t going to let this slide from your grip when he was so pretty. And honestly, he was starting to seem like less of an asshole in general. He was fun, traumatised, and had eight dogs, if that wasn’t your type, you didn’t know what was.

…

Flickering the lights on in his office, Kakashi went into one of the cupboards to look for the shirt while you snooped at the ornaments he had on his shelves. Notably, there were no pictures. You picked up a weird ceramic circle statue and turned it over to see if it did anything cool.

You had passed a security guard on the way up to Kakashi’s office, that looked very intrigued as to why you two were together so late, and why your shirt was ripped open, so you resigned yourself to the rumour mill only getting worse by tomorrow.

“Are you nosy by nature or just interested in my office in particular?”

“Shut up.” You put back the ornament and turned to face him. He was holding the spare shirt in his hand. “You want to fuck me so bad, don’t deny it.”

You expected another eye roll.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he growled, watching you intensely. Oh, that wasn’t an eye roll.

One moment you were staring at him, unsure of what to say, and the next, you were crashing together, lips, tongue, and teeth, in a horny and aggressive kiss. You didn’t know which one of you moved first, you didn’t really care, you only knew that Kakashi was hot and infuriating, and you wanted to kiss him until he couldn’t make that smug face anymore.

Kissing Kakashi was giving you whiplash. He was different to Itachi in every way you could think of. He was confident, aggressive, he fought with you, clashed with you, and he seemed to determined to kiss you twice as hard as you kissed him.

It was obvious that Kakashi’s submission wouldn’t be freely given like Itachi’s, no, you would have to earn it. The challenge scratched at your instincts, and suddenly you wanted to prove to this omega that he could trust you. A good orgasm should lay the groundwork for that.

Both coats were quickly discarded as you kissed, and your ruined shirt fell off moments later.

You had been consciously avoiding his hair in fear of the amount of wax you figured he used to keep that hair style, but one weak moment, as Kakashi’s hips jolted forwards towards yours, you forgot, and ran you fingers through it.

To your surprise, your fingers glided through the soft strands easily. You were so shocked that you broke the kiss. You furrowed your eyebrows as you examined his hair.

“What are you doing?” he panted, confused.

“How the fuck does your hair stay up like that without any hairspray or wax?”

“What?” He sounded baffled. “This is just what my hair looks like. Does it matter?”

“I guess not.”

The kiss resumed, somehow more desperate and aggressive than before. Kakashi grabbed your waist so hard that you could feel the pin pricks from his nails digging into your skin. In return, you made use of your new found knowledge and grabbed a handful of Kakashi’s hair.

You pushed him backwards, never once breaking the rhythm of your kiss, until his upper thighs made contact with the front of his desk. His pot of pens fell as the desk jolted, scattering the expensive pens all over the ground. Neither of you paid it any mind.

When you finally pulled away for air, Kakashi wasted no time, immediately latching onto your neck with reckless abandon. There was something feral about him that was making you hot. He didn’t hold back. You could tell that he was experienced, and he was using every drop of that experience to his advantage.

While he was distracted, you worked on undoing his buttons. It was harder than it looked to remain focused while Kakashi was doing his best impression of a vampire on your neck.

“You have way too many fucking buttons on this shirt.”

“It’s a normal number of buttons,” he murmured against your skin.

“There is literally nothing normal about you.”

“And you say I’m the rude one.”

“That’s because you fucking are.”

Eventually, you managed to undo the last button. Your noise of triumph morphed into a moan as Kakashi nipped around your collar bone. You used his hair to tug him back before loosening his tie and pushing the shirt off his shoulders.

The way his torso looked, bare but with a loose tie hanging over it, unlocked a kink you didn’t know you had. In fact, everything about him was hot. As you dragged the shirt down his arms, you could feel his muscles flexing. Kakashi was strong and broad, and he wore it so well.

You didn’t bother pulling the shirt off all the way, instead letting it bunch at his wrists, acting as a semi-restraint. He tugged at it experimentally, and when he found it restricting his movement, his pupils dilated.

You cooed as you ran your hands all over his naked torse. That’s right, he was a forceful person, certainly, but any shows of dominance were likely performative or learnt behaviours, because this man was a giant sub at heart.

You grabbed his bottom lip between your teeth and pulled it lightly. Kakashi growled at you, but you knew what he was doing; he wasn’t telling you to stop, he was challenging you. You growled back, stronger, louder, and just as you thought, his growling stopped, and his scent took on a delicious hint of submission.

“God, you really are annoyingly hot,” you growled, biting along his jaw. “Emphasis on annoying.”

“Takes one to know one,” he fired back, squeezing your waits.

“Mutual handjob?” you whispered against his skin, already undoing his trousers, before doing the same with yours.

“That the first intelligent thing you’ve said all night.”

“Fuck you.”

You grabbed Kakashi’s muscular thighs and lifted him slightly until he was perched on his desk. A stack of papers tipped over and fluttered to the ground, but that wasn’t a problem for present you, so you happily ignored the chaos in favour of the panting omega in front of you.

You took your dick out from your pants and did the same for Kakashi. They bumped up against each other, searingly hot and unflinchingly hard. You let out a whistle of appreciation at his cock. It was big, bigger than most alphas you’d met, and certainly bigger than any omega’s cock you’d ever seen. In fact, just eyeballing it, he was roughly the same size as you. His shaft was as pale as the rest of him, but the head was an angry red. It was girthy too, and it felt hot and solid in your palm.

Purposefully, you thrust your hips forward, guiding your cock against his with both of your hands. Kakashi moaned, thrusting up to meet you. He could only watch, his hands restrained as they were.

You kept your hands around the dicks, keeping them aligned as you both started to rut against each other. Beads of pre cum quickly made their appearance, which only made everything else feel that much better.

There was something deeply satisfying about what you were doing, especially because you were both still half-dressed. It made it feel desperate, like you couldn’t wait long enough to get your clothes off, too desperately attracted to each other, and had instead chosen to rub off on each other like horny teenagers.

You made out messily while you grinded against each other. Maintaining a consistent pace was a little difficult, especially as things got wetter and wetter, but you managed. There was something sexy about the chaos. The increased sensitivity from being in the erotica world didn’t hurt either.

Your moans and groans increased in frequency as you got closer. If felt like every nerve ending you had was on fire, and Kakashi looked much like you felt, covered in a thin sheen of sweat that was obvious under the hard corporate lighting.

Technically, with it being so bright inside and so dark outside, anyone who happened to glance up would have got a glimpse of you, but you were both too far gone to care.

“You love having someone take control of you, don’t you Kakashi,” you moaned, pressing your lips against his. “You’re tired of always being in control, aren’t you? The big CEO, everyone’s relying on you, but who do you get to rely on? Who looks after you? You want someone to do that, don’t you? You’re a walking, talking CEO stereotype.”

“Who says I’m going to give control to you?” he panted, licking his lips. “Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?”

“Hmm, nope, I think I’m right on track,” you teased. Already picking up on his proclivity for biting, you gave a bite in return, just shy of where a mating mark might theoretically go. Kakashi gasped, his hands straining at the shirt that restrained them. “I’ll get you to submit to me properly, one day.”

“We’ll see.”

The alcohol and the increased sensitivity were mixing together to make this tryst shorter than expected, but Kakashi seemed to be in the same boat, so you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The banter ceased as the final stretch towards your orgasms started.

As your ending approached, you bent down and sealed your lips with Kakashi’s once more. Suddenly, everything crested, and pleasure flowed over you in waves. Your thrusts got sloppy, but neither of you cared. Kakashi came with a guttural moan. His stomach muscles flexing in a hypnotic dance.

The extra cum afforded by the porn logic soaked both your dicks and your hands, staining both pairs of trousers too. It dripped onto the carpet, and if the security guard didn’t spread a rumour about you and Kakashi hooking up, one of the cleaners probably would.

Some of Kakashi’s cum had even landed on the spare shirt, so you now had a choice between a torn shirt, or one covered in cum to match your stained trousers. Great. Why did horny you always make such bad decisions?

You and Kakashi remained leaning against each other for a while, just catching your breaths and marvelling at how fast your relationship had move. You wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told you during your interview that you’d end up grinding on that asshole’s desk a few days later.

‘I would have believed it.’

‘Thanks, James.’

Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but the door to his office suddenly opened, cutting him off. You both stiffened, snapping up to face the intruder like a pair of deer in headlights.

There, standing in the doorway with the expression of a man who was entirely done with life, was Kakashi’s chauffeur. Instead of an apology of any kind, the man just sighed.

“The car is downstairs when you are ready. Please try and clean up before getting in, the leather won’t forget these kinds of smells easily.” With that, he left, shutting the door firmly behind him.

You and Kakashi looked at each other, then to the door, and then to each other, before you both burst out laughing.

What a way to end the night.

Next Chapter

#the quest for a second life #kakashi #kakashi hatake #kakashi x reader #alpha!reader #alpha reader #omega!kakashi #omega kakashi #a/b/o #omegaverse #alpha x omega #gn reader #sub kakashi #sub!kakashi #dom!reader #dom reader #n-sfw #reader insert

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mixelation · 5 months

Text

oh here's some toxicity (reborn au au). it's torito u_u

In another world, the assurance that Itachi would never leave her behind would be enough for Tori. She would find it comforting. She would move on.

In this world, she really didn’t see why violent revenge couldn’t be her solution.

“If you’re so mad about it,” Obito drawled at her, “just kill him yourself.”

Obito had thrown himself lazily over the armchair in the corner of her room, right on top of a pair of pants and a sweater she’d worn once and wanted to wear again before she washed them. The chair didn’t match anything else in the room, but it was comfortable. Obito had put it there himself, rescued from an Uchiha elder’s house after they’d died.

(Of natural causes, he’d assured her.)

He was the primary person who ever sat in it, besides Tori’s laundry. He did it with the lazy decadence of a king in his throne.

Tori, cross-legged on her bed, pouted back at him. The point wasn’t really that someone killed that guy. It was the intense loyalty the act would mean for her. Had Obito and Minato not both slaughtered absurd numbers of people in an act of love? She wanted that. She wanted someone who liked her like that.

Would it be bad to break up with her fake-boyfriend if he wouldn’t real-murder for her…?

She had no idea how to explain all this to Obito without sounding completely unhinged. Instead she said, “I’d kill someone for Itachi.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Obito countered immediately.

“I killed Danzo for him,” Tori said.

“No,” Obito said, rolling his ankle in the air. He twirled a finger at her. “You convinced Danzo to do something stupid that got him killed because you get off on leading people to their doom.”

Tori pouted some more.

“I’m glad sensei backed you up,” Obito said eventually, carefully not looking directly at her. His legs were over one arm of the chair, and he rolled an ankle in a loose circle. “You’re okay, right? Besides your unquenchable thirst for vengeance?”

A sly smile cracked over Tori’s lips. He had shown up the second she was finally in her own home.

“Aaaw,” she cooed. “Were you worried about me?”

Obito rolled his eyes and finally looked at her. “I just think if you get any more traumatized, you might actually figure out how to destroy the world. It’s the natural escalation of things.”

“You would know,” Tori replied. She unfolded her legs and scooted forward to sit on the edge of the bed closest to him. “Hey, Itachi spent the night the first night.”

Obito frowned at her. “What, you need a babysitter?”

“You could sit outside on the balcony like a gargoyle,” Tori replied. “Bark at passers by. You know.”

“Oooh,” Obito replied, dipping his head back as he leaned into the joke. “Oh, yeah, I could guard the whole apartment. My poor partner was traumatized, after all. I’ll keep anyone from coming in and bothering you. I’ll set up traps and chase your neighbors off. Maybe put up a blockade in the road.”

“Deidara will love this,” Tori said.

“Deidara is one of the people I’m chasing away,” Obito replied smartly.

They joked. They talked about silly, unimportant things. Tori watched Obito intently as they chatted. She liked seeing him like this, she thought. Obito was fun when he was relaxed and just fucking around.

He looked good too, she decided. She missed the mask, but Obito definitely had a nice face. He had the pretty Uchiha cheekbones and a strong jaw, and the messy dark hair worked on him. Plus, he was tall and broad-shouldered and well-muscled and… hmm.

Hmm.

Obito started absentmindedly doing little kicks with his feet like a school girl while he groused about how much of the block he could get Deidara to blow up, just by being annoying.

Tori decided to change her strategy.

xXx

“I decided I want to break up,” Tori told Itachi.

“Oh,” Itachi said, frowning down at her. “Why? I’m amenable to making changes.”

Tori shook her head.

“I don’t mind helping you, or hanging out with you on dates,” she said. “But I realized this arrangement means I can’t pursue my own romantic interests.”

“Ah,” Itachi said. “I didn’t realize you had those.”

Neither did I, Tori thought.

She nodded and waited to see if Itachi would say more. Maybe he would offer to murder or beat up the person she was interested in. That might make her stay.

“I suppose that’s reasonable,” Itachi said after a beat. “Thank you for helping me. Would you mind if I said I was too heartbroken to date for a while?”

“Um,” Tori replied. “Maybe we should say we decided we’d be better as friends so we don’t mess that up, and you can say you want time to think about what you want out of a dating partner.”

Itachi nodded thoughtfully and continued to not offer to kill for her.

Oh well. She tried.

xXx

When Obito jimmied open her window, Tori looked up from her desk like she’d been expecting him. Which, she probably was. Obito loved gossip.

He flopped directly from the window sill into his chair and steepled his fingers.

“So,” he said. He leered at her, lips pulling back from his teeth. “Did you break Itachi’s heart? Did he break yours? Tell me everything.”

Tori rolled her eyes and pushed her chair back from her desk. Instead of the usual sweatpants she preferred when just sitting around her room, she was wearing one of her little sundresses. She brushed her hair over her shoulder as she eyed him.

“I decided I might want to pursue my own interests,” she said bluntly.

Obito raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah?” he said. “Found some other sucker to sic on your enemies? Teenaged romances are so dramatic nowadays.”

Tori stood.

“I think that’s part of the problem,” she said. “I’m not really a teenager, am I?”

She ran her hands through the signs for a henge, and then a twenty year old Tori was standing in front of him. It was a better aging up than most teens could manage– Tori, after all, had once been physically an adult. She knew the subtleties of her own face and how her body would change with age.

“Interesting strategy,” Obito said, unsure where this was going. Was she planning to use a henge to seduce someone older? Was Itachi about to lose to some two-bit chump who liked women in short skirts just because they’d agree to murder some other two-bit chump for Tori? That would be hilarious.

Tori took a step towards him, and then another. She got close enough that the hem of her skirt brushed against his knee, and Obito suddenly realized that Tori’s skirt was quite short, wasn’t it?

“I decided I wanted to pursue more… adult interests,” Tori said, and then suddenly she was in his lap.

“Wait,” Obito said, voice cracking. “Tori, what are you doing?”

Her hand went over his chin, her thumb and fingers squeezing his cheeks. Obito found this did alarming things to his insides.

“Have I told you how much prettier your face is than it should be?” Tori said. Her thumb moved up and down his right cheek. “How about you let me mess it up again, and I’ll help you put your eye in Kakashi’s head?”

“What?” Obito full-on squeaked.

He could overpower her and push her off. He didn’t. He felt frozen, transfixed by her eyes, dark and heavy as she looked at him.

His heart pounded away in his chest. This was ridiculous, though. This was just Tori. She was probably angling to trick him into letting her store lab supplies in kamui or something.

Then why the henge? He thought. Tori wasn’t above flirting to get what she wanted, but it was rarely her first choice strategy. He had no idea why it would be her strategy with him.

The henge is the problem, he decided, hands sweaty. Sixteen year old Tori wasn’t hot. She just wasn’t; she was a teenager. He didn’t… he didn’t remember ever thinking adult Tori was all that hot either, but she’d never crawled into his lap. Maybe it was just the nostalgia this was calling up for him. Or maybe any pretty woman could get this reaction out of him.

Pretty? No, fuck– well. Either way. He could just get rid of the henge.

“No, stop that,” Tori said when he activated his sharingan. Her hand immediately went over his eyes. This did even more alarming things to his insides.

“Oh, because the sharingan is so easily stopped,” Obito heard himself drawl back at her.

His hands were gripping the arms of his chair instead of stopping her. This was bad. Many abilities of the sharingan could not be stopped simply by covering it, but covering it sure did stop him from seeing unsexy, henge-free Tori.

He felt her shift, leaning forward. Her hair tickled his cheek and he could feel the heat of her body on his skin. When she spoke, he felt her breath on his lips.

“Then stop me, if you want to,” she said.

Obito gripped the chair harder. Tori shifted again, her hand staying over his eyes. She pressed her lips against his.

I am going to stop this, Obito thought, and then instead kissed her back.

Obito had only ever kissed Rin before, which had been weird and also terrible. This was also weird and terrible, but in a way where he didn’t want it to stop. Tori was familiar. She knew about the absolute darkest parts of him, and he wasn’t entirely convinced she wouldn’t murder him if given the chance. But she did know him, from his favorite bad jokes to his stint as a super villain.

She broke the kiss first.

“Are you going to be a good boy now?” she asked.

It was embarrassing that he found her wording hot.

“For you? Always,” he replied.

She removed her hand from his eyes. He deactivated the sharingan, studying her face. He set his hands and her hips and then trailed them up her waist, and he watched as she bit her bottom lip in response. He liked that.

There was no way she was doing this if she didn’t want something. Unfortunately, her method had worked in that he did now very much want to give it to her. But what would Tori want…?

“So you want that guy killed?” Obito asked.

Tori’s eyes lit up. It was… extremely cute. Fuck.

#reborn au au: it's gotten sillier #my writing #toriverse

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eggtoasties · 6 months

Text

black honey

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Haruno Sakura

Notes: Love a man in an ANBU uniform and I love fun team dynamics

Word Count: 2.082

Summary: Sakura, Kakashi, and Genma are pulled into Lord Ko’s idiotic scheme to get back at his ex, but they all get a little more than they bargained for. Not that anyone’s mad. Except maybe Genma.

“Tsunade-sama,” Sakura groaned, rubbing her temple. “You cannot be serious.”

“Sorry Sakura,” Tsunade replied, not seeming sorry at all. “Lord Ko asked specifically for a pretty kunoichi who could pretend to be his new girlfriend to make his ex jealous,” she responded brightly. “Wouldn’t you be offended if I had asked anyone else?”

“Ino. Hinata. Tenten.” Sakura listed, deadpan.

“Clan head, clean head, on a mission.” Tsunade responded.

Behind Sakura, two ANBU stood silently, watching the exchange between teacher and student with well concealed mirth.

“ Shishou,” Sakura whined, “don’t I have a reputation to uphold?”

“Ko is paying stupid amounts of money for this idiotic jealousy scheme. It's ridiculous. And he’s paying top dollar for the best escorts too, just to show his ex how important and powerful he is.” Tsunade smiled devilishly.

Sakura groaned and slumped in the chair in front of Tsunade’s desk.

“C’mon kid, think of it as a vacation. You get to sit pretty in some palace for a few days. Think of the food!” Tsunade exclaimed. Looking back at the two shinobi, still standing at attention, she said, “It’s a vacation for you guys too—easy peasy. Not that Sakura would need protecting anyways.”

Scowling, Sakura huffed, “How is parading around at a ball while I’m thrown around like an object, just so some idiot man can get back with his ex a vacation for me? ” Sakura said indignantly. “What if the crazy bitch decides to retaliate or something?”

Snorting, Genma broke his silence. “I’m pretty sure you could handle a civilian who’s never held a kunai.”

“Genma and Kakashi aren’t even the best,” Sakura complained, earning an indignant choke from Genma and a sniff from Kakashi. “Shouldn’t Shisui or Itachi be here?” Sakura leaned back in her chair, slowly accepting her fate.

“Wow,” Kakashi drawled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Is that anyway to talk to your old teacher?”

Sakura snorted, “You barely taught and that was well over a decade ago.”

“Pft,” Tsunade shrugged. “This mission is something genin could honestly do. You and Hatake are there for the reputation. Doctor Haruno Sakura, Godaime’s apprentice, best med-nin across the Five Elemental Nations, co-director of the Konoha hospital, strongest shinobi on this planet—beautiful and intelligent,” she puffed her chest with each title. “And, uh, the Copy Nin,” she threw in, “are more than enough.”

“Hey!” Genma interjected, “What about me?”

“We just needed another ANBU guard.” Tsunade responded at the same time Kakashi said, “You’re just a pretty face.”

Folding his arms across his chest Genma pouted. “You can’t even see my face.”

Sighing once again, Sakura braced her elbows on the Hokage’s desk and cradled her forehead with her hands. “When do we leave?”

Tsunade handed Sakura a scroll. “Today.”

Slowly easing herself from the chair and throwing another exasperated glance at her mentor she wearily bowed.

“Sakura,” Tsunade started softly. Sakura peered up at her mentor through a curtain of pink hair. “Don’t forget to cover your Byakugo seal, ha!” Tsunade said, full of mirth.

Heaving out a breath and tiredly running a hand over her face, Sakura mock saluted her teacher and caught the scroll tossed her way.

“These have all the outfits, accessories, and makeup needed for the mission. Don’t ruin or lose anything—it was expensive as shit,” Tsunade warned.

“I didn’t realize the village had gowns in the vault for loan,” Sakura said wryly.

“I had them custom made for you,” Tsunade responded with a glint in her eye.

Opening her mouth in surprise Sakura squeaked, “What if I had rejected the mission?” her voice rising in consternation.

“Like you’d defy me, brat,” Tsunade with an eye roll.

Looking wearily over at Kakashi and Genma, Sakura said, “Meet me at the North gate at noon.”

Under the shadow of the North gate, Sakura hummed to herself as she double checked the contents of her pack and storage scrolls. She was looking forward to the mission. Despite her irritation in Hokage Tower, Sakura couldn’t remember the last time she was assigned to a mission that didn’t require her to be elbows deep in entrails or trekking through swamplands.

Plus, the company could be worse.

Light steps approached her. Two lithe forms in uniform, masks hanging at their hips, Sakura tried to fix her eyes on their faces.

“We’ll likely get to the palace around dinner time if we don’t rush. The ball is in three days and we can figure out security details when we meet with Ko,” Sakura said, securing her heaving pack on her back.

Kakashi and Genma exchanged nods and the trio started walking past the faded red of the village gate. Shoulder to shoulder, the spring breeze rustling through the Hashirama trees, the three of them could almost forget they were officially on a mission.

“For background,” Genma said, “I was on the security detail for Lord Ko a while back and he’s kind of a creep and kind of a loser.”

Kakashi chuckled behind his book and Sakura rolled her eyes.

“I figured if he had to pay women to be his date despite his status, he would be kind of a loser.” She tipped her face towards the sun and briefly closed her eyes. A vacation, a vacation, a vacation, she kept repeating. “I read the intel reports on him, my favorite was Anko’s. She basically just wrote ‘fucking loser’ over and over again on his personality section.”

Genma’s laughter carried through the forest and despite herself, Sakura laughed too.

“Behind closed doors, his own staff and advisors have been trying to get him out of power ever since his father passed,” Kakashi said, absentmindedly turning a page.

“A coup?” Sakura and Genma looked at Kakashi. Preventing political upheaval and getting information back to Konoha was a completely different mission than playing house.

Kakashi shrugged. “We’ve known this for years, his opposition won’t do anything rash. But the Lord is surprisingly politically savvy, he puts his foot down when necessary, loser or not.”

Wordlessly, they simultaneously leapt into the thick foliage of the forest and settled into a line formation with Genma at front and Kakashi in the back. Sakura considers this new intel.

“We likely don’t have to worry about any real political upheaval unless he proves entirely incompetent along with being an embarrassment,” Kakashi continued. “But just something to keep in mind.”

“How do you know this?” Sakura mentally cataloged the reports she read in Tsunade’s office, “I didn’t see any mention of this.”

All of a sudden, Sakura felt his breath at the nape of her neck. She fought the shiver that ran down her back.

“I do work, Sakura,” Kakashi whispered. He immediately fell back and Sakura felt a hot rush flood down her face to the pit of her stomach. She didn’t even hear him coming.

But looking back, that’s always how he operated. He’d never announce his presence, but she always saw him nearby. After slipping away from the village on confidential missions that even Tsunade wouldn’t disclose, she’d find him sitting in her office for his first post-mission check up in a year. After a hard week at the hospital, or a particularly grueling mission, he’d slide next to her at the bar and order their favorites.

Jokes under a whisper, the brush of a hand, the faintest outline of a smile, little peeks of what was under the mask.

I’m going to kill Tsunade, I’m going to kill Tsunade, I’m going to fucking kill Tsunade.

“I just know that we’re going to have such a great time, Sakura,” Lord Ko purred. His soft hands had imprisoned hers throughout lengthy introductions and while Sakura marveled at his scarless, uncalloused hand at first, she was ready to reduce it to a bloody stump.

She smiled and nodded as pleasantly as she could muster, trying to pull her hand back to her side. I’m going to kill everyone in this room.

“I’ve been following your work for quite some time,” he grinned, his wide face gleaming at her, not a pore in sight. He continued petting her captive hand while she felt a blood vessel pop in her eye. “I am quite the fan,” he crooned, leaning closer to her on the plush velvet cushion he insisted they share.

“I see, yes, thank you,” she said non committedly, and quickly glanced at the whispering courtiers to the side, hiding behind their fans, eyes pitying her.

“I can’t wait to see you in--”

“Let’s discuss the security details in private,” Kakashi interrupted, approaching the raised dais Ko and Sakura were seated on.

The hushed whispers in the room stopped immediately as Kakashi spoke. He and Genma had waited to the side, melting with the shadows of the columns. But as he stood in front of Sakura, it seemed unimaginable that he could ever be overlooked. He stood in stark contrast from the plush velvet rug underneath his boots, the rubies of the chandelier above him. All severe angles and brutal functionality. Genma slipped from the shadows and stood next to Kakashi, acknowledging Lord Ko with a curt nod.

There was an imperceptible twitch at the Lord’s brow as he assessed the masked pair below him and stared at Kakashi with an air of disingenuous affability. His smooth face broke out in a mild grin and he spread his arms wide--Sakura’s hand in tow.

“You’re ever so correct, ANBU, let the three of us discuss this in more privacy,” Ko said with a flourish of his robes. Surprisingly light on his feet for a large man, he quickly led Sakura down the steps of the dais, thick fabrics trailing behind him.

Without sparing Genma or Kakashi a glance, Ko brushed past the two while grasping Sakura by the hip.

Sakura reconsidered homicide.

The palace study, to Sakura’s slight dismay, was breathtaking. They sat at a great oak table, with chairs so wide they could fit two. The cushions were covered in an exquisite cream silk stitched in a pattern to resemble bound ropes. Lord Ko pulled Sakura’s chair for her and the heavy wood slid back on a plush green rug. He sat at the head of the table, facing a stained glass window that made up an entire wall depicting a dragon in flight through the sea.

Ko rang a bell he procured from one of his deep sleeves and servants filtered through the room and set up tea, water, and some documents. He leaned as far as he could towards Sakura, large belly heaving over his armrest, and Sakura scooted as far away as possible, thankful for the lavish chair. He poured her tea himself, allowing his servants to serve himself, Genma, and Kakashi on delicate porcelain plates.

Looking across the table, Sakura stifled a smile, watching Kakashi daintily sip from the white and gold teacup in full ANBU uniform.

“Lord Ko,” Genma said to Sakura’s left, “we’ll need floor plans of the palace, and the proceedings for the ball to best assess security measures.”

Genma, Sakura forgot, was a professional at the end of the day.

“Ah yes, the blueprints,” Ko said airily, “not sure where that would be, you both,” he pointed to Genma and Kakashi with his teacup, “are free to walk around the premises and draw a map.”

Sakura’s brows shot up, and she could sense Genma fighting the urge to lunge at Ko’s neck. The Lord pulled a fan from an inner pocket of his robe and fanned himself as he turned his whole body to Sakura.

“Sakura--”

“Do you have any enemies we should be aware of?” Kakashi interrupted.

Lord Ko continued fanning himself, rings glinting on his thick fingers. “Dig around in the files the servants brought, there’s bound to be some information in there,” he said, never turning his gaze from Sakura.

Sakura grabbed as many papers as she could and started examining them quickly, anything to distract herself from Lord Ko’s roaming eyes.

“If all the information is in these documents, we’ll reconvene tomorrow afternoon to discuss,” Genma stated, shuffling folders together and standing up.

Sakura made a mental note to profess her undying love to Genma as soon as she had the chance. As Sakura made moves to leave, Ko grabbed her armchair and pouted. “We didn’t discuss the ball yet or what the dress code is,” he said desperately, searching her eyes.

“That information isn’t in these files?” she asked weakly, hope seeping out her body.

#kakasaku #kakashi x sakura #kakashi fanfiction #kakasaku fanfiction #anbu kakashi

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uchiwife · 7 months

Text

𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀.

Pairings: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi.

Tags: modern au, mafia, police, pre-relationship, (possible) future fic.

Warnings: Given the theme, expect to read about sensitive subjects. Such as mentions of abuse, drugs, violence, illegal trafficking in almost any form. Please proceed with caution.

Word count: 2,640.

a/n : English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse me for any mistakes I might commit in it. ꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Sakura has a favorite chair and a favorite table in this little restaurant-café. She always sits in the same place at the same time for about an hour. It's become a little ritual of hers. A ritual initially started on a bored day when the need for a little dessert arose. So here she is, sitting at the same table in the same damn chair, stuffing her face with her famous Anmitsu. She no longer does it out of greed, but because for the past three months, every day at the same time, she's been able to admire Takeshi Sasaki. He always sits two tables away, and always has the same thing: dangos and green tea. He seems out of time, enjoying this gentle lull. She only learned his name very recently, and only because he'd forgotten his wallet. She heard the waiter call out to him.

Sakura supposed it was always better to call him by his name rather than “grace”, no matter how graceful he was. Besides, she doubted he'd appreciate a stranger feminizing him by calling him that, even in her head, unless he was quite comfortable with his manhood, and something told her he was. In reality, she hated giving people nicknames, she found it cruelly rude, but she'd had to improvise, she couldn't decently call him “the handsome dark man”, she wasn't in a fucking fanfiction written by a 12-year-old! Not that she had anything against that, she remembered reading hundreds of them and remembered how her life had been filled by many of them.

Swallowing the last mouthful of her dessert, she took the time, as she did so often now, to observe the graceful way his fingers pushed back the locks in front of his face. His features were quite striking. It was superficial, but it was his ethereal beauty that had appealed to Sakura the first time she'd caught sight of him. She'd seen a lot of good-looking guys, but she lived in a world where the most charming features were attached to an utterly detestable personality. Her ex was a perfect example. She'd met his gaze several times over the last few months and had always made sure to keep eye contact. She was trying to get a message across here: she wasn't a blushing high-school girl who was going to look away no matter how much his beauty troubled her. She'd grown up in a world that had taught her the hard way not to show weakness in front of others. Her brother was well aware of this, as were her friends.

However, she had to be careful. She couldn't take the plunge from day one, not out of timidity but because she had to observe this man first. If she didn't, her brother and the others would do it for her, and she didn't want to get a guy who hadn't asked for anything into trouble. She could be bitchy, but not the way Tayuya was.

So she waited wisely, respecting this little ritual of theirs. For if they hadn't exchanged a single word, there had been enough glances between them for her to know that he was aware of her. Whatever dance they were doing, it seemed that the last notes were coming to an end and Sakura would finally advance her pawn. It was time, after all, for her to make her move.

Her decision made, she left her table for his, her heels clicking against the asphalt, she didn't bother to ask permission, she simply sat down in the chair opposite his. He seemed neither surprised nor offended by her lack of politeness, surely because he himself knew that the time had come. They had been sizing each other up for three months, after all. She elegantly crossed one leg over the other and concealed a smile of triumph when she noticed the way his eyes leered at her legs. Someone else probably wouldn't have noticed, so subtle was it, but she wasn't everyone. Being aware of one's surroundings is a non-negligible ability to have. It was what made the difference between a living man and a dead man. In her world, anyway.

“So? Are you going to let me take you out?”

“I usually know the name of the woman who wishes to ‘ask me out’.”

Oh. His voice was as enchanting as his features. She wouldn't mind hearing him talk about the Darwinian theory of evolution if that's what his voice sounded like. She smirked, leaning back in her seat.

“That's not a no I hear.”

“If I'd wanted to say no, I would have the first time you laid eyes on me.”

“So confident…” Sakura retorted amused, not the least bit embarrassed that he knew she'd been watching him.

“Observant” he corrected, his lips curling into a smirk, bringing out the dimple on his left cheek. Was she crazy to want to lick it? Yes, she probably was. She'd always had a thing for pretty dimples.

“Sakura” she finally introduced herself.

He nodded, “Takeshi.”

“Oh, I know.”

“You do?”

“The waiter. You forgot your wallet once”

“I'm not usually this absent-minded. I got distracted.”

"How fortunate for me. It allowed me to get to know your name.”

Takeshi smiled, amused, “you could have just asked me.”

She snorted, “where's the fun in that?”

He shook his head, “Well, Sakura, where do you intend to take me out, assuming I say yes.”

“Trust me, Takeshi, you’re going to want to say yes.”

“Who’s too confident now?”

“I just know what I'm worth.” She said with a shrug. “So I thought we could....” Sakura barely had time to formulate her plans before she was interrupted, much to her chagrin.

“Sakura!”

She frowned, turning to find her brother and two more of his men at her table. Obviously. Where he goes, his henchmen follow. She rolled her eyes.

“Brother,” she said in a bored tone. “I was in the middle of a conversation Yahiko, as you can see.”

“Conversation over. You're late.” Yahiko glanced briefly at Takeshi before pausing. A dangerous gleam lit up in his eyes and she sighed. Why did he always have to ruin her plans? “And who's that?”

Takeshi observed the scene in silence and she was genuinely surprised by his calm. He didn't seem intimidated, and that was quite something. Yahiko even seemed to notice because he gave the man a second glance, a rare thing for her brother. He paid so little attention to those he found useless or insignificant.

“Takeshi. Your sister's next date, apparently.” he added for good measure.

Sakura almost choked. What audacity! And yet, she couldn't help laughing, because really, if he had a death wish, he'd chosen his day rather well. She loved men with nerve.

Yahiko narrowed his eyes, then glared at her, “Sakura?”

She shrugged, pushing back her hair with a satisfaction she shouldn't feel “what he said.”

“We'll talk about it again. Get your things. We're going to be late. Sasori hates tardiness and I hate being taxed more than necessary.”

Once again, Sakura rolled her eyes. As if she didn't know Sasori could be a pain in the ass. He was so adamant about punctuality. She'd heard of many deals that hadn't been concluded, or had been charged more because his future partners or clients had been late. Sakura got up without making a fuss; this was no time to rebel. She could always do that later. She turned to the man sitting opposite her and realized he was already looking at her.

“Unfortunately, I'm going to have to cut this short. I'll call you about our upcoming outing.”

He raised an eyebrow “I didn't give you my number.”

Sakura smiled mischievously, “No need. I'll have it by the end of the day.”

“absolutely not creepy.”

“Scared already?”

Takeshi smiled back, “It takes more than that to scare me. I'm just curious how you're going to do it.”

“I've got my ways” she winked at him, and deciding he'd probably had enough, Yahiko growled; putting an end to his sister's antics.

“Are you done?”

“Killjoy! you need to get laid. You're so tense. Where's Konan??”

Her brother glared at her again, and if a look could kill, she'd probably be dead by now. She raised her hands, then waved goodbye to Takeshi, promising to call him later before she let Yahiko and his men drag her away. She climbed into a black SUV with tinted windows, watching from the corner of her eye Takeshi, still seated at the table, who hadn't taken his eyes off the car until it turned at the next intersection.

Sakura sighed, annoyed by her brother's interruption but also impatient. She took out her phone and quickly dialed a number, before a smile spread across her rosy lips when her correspondent picked up.

“I need you to get me a number.”

***

Takeshi waited until the car was no longer in his field of vision before gathering his things. Three months. It had been three months since he'd sat at the same table, at the same time, taking the same thing in order to take part in what had become a ritual. He'd sensed that today was the day. That the young woman would eventually come to him. His patience had finally paid off. Of course, this was only the beginning, nothing was certain and there was no guarantee that she would actually contact him, but if the looks she was giving him were anything to go by, the chances were pretty high that he'd hear from her again. He sighed, stood up, paid for their drinks and left the restaurant-café.

He quietly made his way to his car, taking the time to check his mirrors to make sure he wasn't being followed before turning onto the road. After driving for a while, he stopped near an alley and switched off his engine. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before the passenger door opened and a new man stepped in.

They both remained silent, before the other man spoke up.

“Report.”

“Contact with the target has been established.”

“We knew it would take time, but now that first contact has been made, we'll be able to start work.”

“Hn. However, Pain showed up.”

“That's to be expected. She’s protected. Since you don't have a bullet between your eyes, I'd say the first encounter went well.”

Takeshi scoffed, “I wouldn't say that, but Haruno should be making contact soon.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder and tensed slightly before relaxing. “You'll do a good job, Itachi. If your written reports are anything to go by, you've already got her attention. This is the opening we needed.”

“Aa.”

Uchiha Itachi knew that by accepting this undercover mission three months ago, he would have to leave behind his family and his daily life for an indefinite period. He was a member of the police. An investigator for the Organized Crime Bureau. For three years, the police had been trying to dismantle a mafia network known as "AKATSUKI", headed by a man called PAIN, whose real name was Yahiko. The police knew little about him, but over the years it had become painfully obvious that this man was at the head of an empire. Arms trafficking, organ trafficking, money laundering, corruption, assassinations and murders, among other things.

They were a powerful cartel whose violence was known to all. They operated in the shadows, but everyone knew their names, but no one knew how to stop them or get to them. Those who tried either disappeared or recanted their testimony. Haruno Sakura had been singled out as his target. What little information they managed to glean about her was that she was apparently the adopted sister of the organization's leader. Little was known about them, but there were still traces of the Haruno's tragic past. He must have reread her files a hundred times already. And he now knew that Sakura Haruno had been abused as a child. Her mother was a junkie who had ended up selling her daughter to pay for her cocaine. Sakura's father didn't seem to be part of the picture. He'd probably abandoned his family or died. Haruno had been shuffled from foster home to foster home. His unit speculated that she must have met Pain during their childhood. They thought they must have been placed in the same foster family at some point. He knew from complaints and reports from police and social workers that some of Sakura's foster families had been abusive. The kids were deprived of food, the fridge and cupboards kept under lock and key. They were beaten and, most horribly of all, some of the children were sexually abused by the father. He didn't know if Sakura was one of these victims, but in any case, the foster parents' corpses had been found in a wasteland. At the time, the coroner ruled it a homicide. The case was still under investigation but had not been solved.

Itachi had been sent as an undercover agent because his skills were perfect for this kind of mission. He had no trouble playing a role. It was his job. He'd done several, and every one of them had been a success. It was his duty to dismantle the Akatsuki with the help of his unit and the police. To date, 4 members were known. There was Deidara, the explosives and bombs genius, a certain Hiruko, well known on the dark web for organ trafficking transactions, but Itachi had no doubt that this was a pseudonym. The Leader, Pain, the police knew very little about, but were certain he was at the head of this empire. They also knew the name of a former cartel member. The famous research scientist Orochimaru. The police had already had him on their radar for years for his research, which was considered dubious at best, illegal at worst. If there was a body theft or disappearance in his area, it was very likely that he was behind it. Only, Orochimaru, vicious snake that he is, had managed to evade justice. And then there was Sakura. Itachi didn't know to what extent she was involved in her brother's business or whether she was actively participating in it, but she certainly wasn't unaware of his reputation.

That's why it was decided that it would be easier to attempt an infiltration through her. She was the best way to enter Pain's private circle. For three months, he'd been going to this café-restaurant because he knew he'd find her there. Only he couldn't make the first move; it had to come from her. Patience had always been his forte, as had mind games. Not that he was proud of it, but in his line of work, it was very useful.

And finally, his target had made contact. She seemed a confident woman, sure of her seductive power. Objectively, he could understand the interest she might arouse, but that was of little importance, as she was merely a means to an end. He felt almost sorry for her, for he knew her interest was genuine. Itachi was a professional; on undercover missions, he was allowed to flirt on the edge of illegality. If he had to use his charms, he would.

Yes, Sakura was charming and in another life, in another context, he might have been interested in her, but his role here was to gain information through her, learn more and get her to bring him into their organization. He had to stay focused on his mission and not get distracted.

He could do it.

There was no way he, Uchiha Itachi, an undercover agent, would get caught in his own game because of a criminal like Haruno Sakura, right?

Right…?

#itasaku #uchiha itachi x haruno sakura #itachi x sakura #sakura haruno #itachi uchiha #naruto modern au #naruto #enemies to lovers #future fic #mafia au #naruto fanfiction

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yowyowyaoi · 2 years

Text

*Deidara, Itachi and Hidan building a “fort” out of tables, chairs, blankets and pillows*

Konan: What in the world are you three doing?

Deidara: We decided to make a club, hm. These are our headquarters.

Konan: A club? For what?

Hidan: It’s the Older Man Fucker club, pretty lady. All of us are doin’ it with the old guys.

Itachi: Kisame is not that old. Nor is Sasori-san.

Deidara: Hey, still older than us, hm. Not all of us can be with someone Kakuzu’s age!

Hidan: Hey, the bastard may be old as shit but he’s still got it where it counts, asshole. Oi, wait a sec, Konan! YOU should be in our club too!

Konan: Me?

Itachi: Mm. You’re dating Nagato, correct?

Konan: Yes, but —

Hidan: Well you’re only like 20, and —

Konan: I’m 32, actually.

All three: *thunderstruck silence*

Itachi: Really?

Hidan: Shit you’re gorgeous!

Deidara: What skin care products do you use, hm?

Hidan: Okay but still, you’re dating Nagato. That’s still a pretty big difference; that fucker’s gotta be 60 at least, and —

Konan: Actually Nagato and I are about the same age.

All three:

Hidan: … what the fuck?

Deidara: What skin care products does HE use, hm, so I know never to use them?

Itachi, gently: Do you need me to break whatever gengetsu he has you under?

Konan:

Nagato, in his room tweaking a Pain-body: *twitches*

#the akatsuki #sasodei #sasori x deidara #sasori #deidara #kakuhida #kakuzu x hidan #kakuzu #hidan #kisaita #kisame x itachi #kisame hoshigaki #itachi uchiha #nagakona #nagato x konan #nagato uzumaki #konan

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ladykissingfish · 11 months

Text

Deidara: Kakuzu, we’re bored, hm.

Hidan: And fuckin’ starving, old man!

Itachi: Please may we have money for pizza?

Kakuzu, reading his paper: We have food in the refrigerator. You’re all adults and more than capable of cooking yourselves a decent meal.

Itachi: You know what? You’re right. Hidan, Dei, let’s make some —

Tobi, running into the room: Hiiiii Senpais! Are we gonna cook? Tobi likes to cook! Let Tobi help! We can —

Kakuzu: *nearly falling over in his hurry to get up out of his chair* T-there’s no need for that, guys! Here! *holds out a few bills from his wallet* You guys go out and get some pizza or something, my treat.

Hidan: *grabs the money* Thanks, ‘Kuzu! But you know for a little more we could get wings and drinks, too …

Kakuzu: Are you kidding me?! You ungrateful, greedy little shit, I oughta —

Tobi: Ooooh Tobi can make us wings here, Hidan-senpai! Tobi just learned a new recipe that —

Kakuzu: *quickly pulls another bill out* Here. Take it and go.

*he watches from the window as the four leave the house and walk down the road*

Konan: Since when are you so loose with the purse strings?

Kakuzu: I just gave them about $50. The last time Tobi tried to “help” in the kitchen, I ended up spending around $2000 to replace the oven, microwave and all of the broken dishes. I simply chose the cheaper option.

Konan:

#brotp #Hidan x Deidara x Itachi x Tobi #💛🧡🍡🍭#tobi ((unintentionally)) saves the day 😊#the akatsuki #cooking #tobi #deidara #itachi uchiha #hidan #kakuzu #konan

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sunbeamah · 6 months

Note

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from JJK? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

I don't mind you asking at all!! Actually I'm very glad you asked! :) I love talking about jjk and I think I've annoyed everyone I talk to irl far too much about it at this point!

Oh and please put your top 5 favourite characters and scenes in the replies!! (That goes for anyone reading this as well-- I'm curious to see what everyone's is!)

MANGA SPOILERS (UP TO 255) BENEATH THE CUT!! (ALSO IT'S LONG AS HELL UNDER THERE!)

My favourite characters (you can all probably guess but I'm going to list them anyway!!)

Choso

Chances are, if a character is an eldest brother and has dark hair and eyes, he'll be my favourite! Dick Grayson, Uchiha Itachi, Portgas D Ace, Iida Tensei (favourite male chara based on vibe alone haha), Kamado Tanjirou, Mori ohshc (it's old ik ik but I was in love w him!).

But beyond that, I just adore Choso. His devotion to his brothers, his awesome use of blood manip, how intense he is and how tired he looks-- he's awesome!

2. Yuuji

Again completely unsurprising! I also tend to go for upbeat, spunky and happy characters as my favourites. He goes through so much, but still manages to maintain an iron resolve and hold onto others, and to create and protect special bonds with others. I truly admire this about his character-- and I hope he gets the happiness he deserves. If not, I'm always willing to write it for him hehe.

3. Maki

Maki is so cool to me, I enjoyed the chapter with her and that sumo guy so so much-- imo he was her first real mentor! (Sorry Gojo!) I love how relentlessly strong she is, how tough she's had to become and how, no matter what was happening, she held onto her own resolve. Everything she did being for Mai absolutely stole my heart.

4. Nobara

Nobara saying she "only has so many chairs for people in [her] life", vs seeing just how many chairs were there, waiting for her to find special people to fill them absolutely broke me when I saw it animated. I was legit crying. I love how assertive and aggressive she is, and how she's still a very sentimental and protective person. Her admiring Maki was so cute, I could never let those scenes go!

5. Sukuna

I have to give it to him, he's a great villain. I was skeptical about this at first-- I love Nanamin and Gojo and Miguel and Yuki and so many others so much! -- but looking through the screenshots of the manga I have, 70% of it is Sukuna. He's very attractive, so relentlessly evil and just so strong, too.

Now for my favourite scenes!! Sorry if this is way too much to read!

Red Scale

The entire episode. I've rewatched it so many times and screamed at all the same parts. I love the fighting, the animation, blood manipulation coming in clutch, the memories that don't exist-- everything! It's just such a fun episode to watch! And on top of that they're my two faves, of course I love it!!

2. Higuruma Hiromi saying "let's have a retrial"

Listen-- I don't know why, but something about that panel is SO attractive to me. I was screaming at his later scenes (I wanted Sukuna's head on a pike and his ass on the executioner's blade), but that early shot of him just refuses to leave my mind.

3. Maki sumoing with Miyo

IMO he was her first proper mentor, and I love the growth that we see in her, and the insight into her mental state since losing Mai. My heart broke for her in that scene, so getting to see something more personal of her, how she struggled with everything that had happened to her and all her responsibilities, and how she was able to overcome it by focusing on the present, on what she could and could not see-- rather than everything she had to do.

4. Yuuji, Nobara and Megumi going crazy at the end of s1

I will never get Megumi's crazy smile and laughter out of my head-- he let LOOSE!

Nobara's "game of chicken" had me giggling like mad, yelling at the screen, cheering, everything!

Yuuji and Nobara's black flashes cemented this scene pack for me-- I just love it! Their powerups, their growth in this short period and their teamwork! I love to see it hehe.

5. Todo's locket opening to reveal Yuuji and Takada-chan

Todo is so genuinely special to me. I have never seen a more delusional character, and I don't think I ever will. I've loved him since he asked Megumi what his type of woman is, and every time he's on screen I can't help but laugh. This scene in particular made me cry with laughter-- the whole episode I was clapping and cheering, mimicking his poses, texting incomprehensible messages to my friends. Todo is everything man.

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sage--mode · 6 months

Text

Boys of Naruto with their s/o (my headcanons)

Included: Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Sai, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Neji, Lee, Gaara, Kankuro

*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥

Naruto: a bit naive and insecure in his relationship, at least at first. He's pretty dirt poor, and despite being a hero and savior of the world he doesn't have the highest self-esteem, so it takes a little bit of time to get him to really relax around you because you just make him.. nervous. Once he does, the gloves are off. Super playful and sweet, a huge tease, and wants to do everything and anything with you. Has a super romantic/sweet side that you mostly see when you're alone. Loves pda but also gets shy about it. you can be in a room with 50 empty chairs, and if you ask him to sit on his lap, he'll agree every time. ♥️ nicknames: Likes to call you beautiful ("hey beautiful!") and will call you a nickname based off your name (ex: if your name was anita, he might call you nini) ♥️ the ring: if he is picking your ring, he'd probably get something very simple at first- again, like 14kt gold band with some simple design engraved into it to give it more of a unique look- he's pretty poor and super nervous/terrified of proposing with it.. but that's the best he can do. He'd upgrade you as soon as he became hokage and began earning more, sneakily having a center stone added to it to surprise you with.

Sasuke: very much secure in his relationship even from the beginning- mostly because he'd never start dating someone he didn't feel 100% with. He's very frank and straightforward, and would want someone like that- honest and simple. secretly likes to be praised by you, and it will basically make him borderline overconfident for the rest of the day, even if you said something simple like complimenting his hair. He's so used to girls chasing him, so its different when you do it- he knows you're being honest and not just sucking up. Not a pda guy but very protective and caring of you. Notices very small things about you, like if you start shaping your fingernails a different way. ♥️ nicknames: he's not usually a pet name kind of guy, but sometimes when you're alone and he's feeling especially sweet, he may call you "my dear", and when you're being bossy he'll respond with "yes madam / no madam) to tease you. ♥️ the ring: we know this. he'd make it for you himself. in canon, the ring is apparently made of a ruby. I like to imagine it's infused with his chakra and his blood (the ruby was a more magenta color before he did so)

Itachi: very protective. very caring. nothing comes before you do. lowkey wants to murder anyone who dares trying to talk badly about you in front of him ("you insulted my wife. you don't deserve the air in your lungs.") Very serious and unabashed with people, but suddenly becomes this gentle, sweet man when its you in front of him. Not a big pda guy but always holds your hand in public or will walk with you with a hand on your back or an arm around you. If you're sitting somewhere, a lock of your hair may be casually held in his fingers as he is lost in thought. Can be a bit of a tease, again mostly to you. ♥️ nicknames: most commonly calls you sweetheart and my love. also will call you princess occasionally, but its usually teasing. ♥️ the ring: goes for something he thinks will be practical for you while also being something you'll like. I imagine he'd pick a marquise or oval cut stone.

Sai: he. doesn't. know. whats. happening. first of all, he can't believe that you- you!- want to date him. it's inconceivable. and he has no idea what to do with you at first. when he approaches you for a first date and you agree, he pauses in surprise that you actually said yes, then thinks for a moment. "Well.. how about training area 3-A? there's a really cool tree there to see." he doesn't get what a date is typically supposed to entail at all- he never got that far in his research. So you have to take the lead on many things, but its okay- you love experiencing everything with him. ♥️ nicknames: notoriously bad with them. he will call you everything from pumpkin seed to cottontail trying to figure out what you'll love the most. ♥️ the ring: he would do the most research on what girls usually like in an engagement ring, and ends up with the very simple, very popular white-gold band with a solitaire, one carat white diamond.

Shikamaru: an insane amount of rizz for someone who would spend 50% of his day staring at clouds if he could. And thats definitely the first official date you go on, though its masterfully disguised and dressed up with a sunset picnic. In public, he's very casual with you and won't try to hold your hand unless you allow it. Lowkey has a bit of a fear of rejection from you, and it takes a bit of time for him to figure out that you're not going to turn him down like that. You play a lot of games together at home and he secretly lets you win sometimes. ♥️ nicknames: so, shikamaru is smart. like reallyyyy smart. we know this. I like to imagine in his spare time, he's slowly learned different languages, and he'll call you nicknames in different languages to watch you get flustered. He thinks its hilarious. Other then that, he'll sometimes call you baby, literally purring the word at you. Its part of his method of seduction and it works every time. ♥️ the ring: carved from a piece of petrified wood in the Nara clan forest. It took him 4 days to to choose it. Makes 2 simple bands from it, one being yours and the other, his.

Chouji: very much in love with you from the beginning, and he's the one who says it first. His method of greeting you is scooping you up in his arms and swinging you around like you weight 6 raspberries. Lovessss cooking for you, and always makes it a multi course meal with multiple dessert choices. Extremely proud that you're his girl and gets teary eyed when he hears you plan to take his last name when you marry ♥️ nicknames: calls you honey, all the time. he doesn't even call you by your name anymore. you're honey now. sometimes he'll make up names to make you laugh, like "my delectable daisy" ♥️ the ring: the ring he gives you is a vintage one thats been passed down in his family for multiple generations; it has the Akimichi clan's emblem engraved in it.

Kiba: the biggest menace!!! if you thought he could be a bit wild before, wait until he gets a girl. The confidence is over 9000. Any time he has money left over, its going to be spent on you, wether its a gift, or on a date, or something else related to you. Pretty lax on pda, he doesn't care who's looking, if he wants to hold your hand or kiss you or be a shameless flirt in public, he'll do just that. ♥️ nicknames: babe, princess, doll face, sugar, gorgeous- he uses them all. Be warned if he sees you out like running an errand or something, he's going to grin and shout "HEY, SEXY!!!" from across the street just to see you blush and trip over yourself. ♥️ ring: he overthinks it big time, going to every jewelry store in Konoha to learn about different stones, metals, settings, etc. It takes so long you end up asking him about it, in which he confesses that he's struggling to choose the perfect one for you and was even considering visiting other villages to tour their jewelry stores.

Shino: Mysterious and collected on the outside. Struck by cupid's arrow on the inside. Very much a gentleman- will hold your hand even to cross the street or navigate through a crowd. Surprisingly he's more into pda then it might first seem. Always greets you with a ~chaste~ kiss. He lovessss when you remove his glasses from his face before you kiss him. ♥️ nicknames: calls you sweetheart sometimes, but often refers to you as "my dear". Similar to Chouji, he doesn't really call you by your actual name much, usually its sweetheart. ♥️ the ring: is the smart one and sneakily asks your friends/family about what kind of ring you might like. He gets it pretty spot on.

Neji: approaches you a bit formally to ask you out. He tells you he would like to date you… by stating, "I would like to date you". Its hilarious and he says it without batting an eye, and you appreciate how straightforward and unembarrassed he is. Always greets you with a kiss on the hand. Always goes along with your plans even when its something he'd usually never be caught dead doing. ♥️ nicknames: typically he refers to you by your actual name, but in private sometimes he'll call you my love, or dearest. Often its whispered. ♥️ the ring: Neji's mother died when he was a baby and his father died when he was very small, and sadly whatever valuables they had were either "returned" to the main branch aside from household items. However, Hiashi wasn't a ~total~ pos and Neji was able to keep some of his mother's jewelry. Most of it is costume, but there are 3-4 pieces that have value, including the plain, simple platinum band that was once her wedding ring. He gets it cleaned and has a setting added to it so a stone can be mounted of your choice.

Rock Lee: two words- princess treatment. you're a princess and he'll be damned if anyone tries to convince him otherwise! always a gentleman, always rooting for you, always willing to drop what he's doing if you ever need him. He has unassuming looks, and it has happened once or twice that someone wouldn't leave you alone in front of him despite you rejecting them. That didn't end well. That guy didn't just learn a valuable lesson that day- all of Konoha did. You don't mess with Rock Lee's girl, and you don't harass girls in front of Rock Lee and get away with it. ♥️ nicknames: calls you princess, and not in a teasing ironic way. he means that 100%. Also sometimes uses angel or my lotus ♥️ the ring: he accidentally pulls a michael scott and saves 2 years worth of salary for the ring, when the saying is typically "2 months". so the ring is going to be quite a sparkler depending on what stone he picks.

Gaara: a little awkward, but more so for you than for him. He actually feels pretty comfortable with you from the get-go- he likes you and he is pretty transparent about it. For you, it is intimidating- not because its Gaara, but because he's the kazekage and dating the village's kage publicly puts eyes on you both. So the first few times you go out, it is done quietly and within small groups (his siblings and a few friends) to make it look less like 2 people on a date. A bit like Itachi in that he is pretty mature and serious with people, but a lot softer and sweet with you. When Gaara is in love, the protection of his sand starts to extend to you, too. ♥️ nicknames: for the most part, he calls you by your own name. However in some moments where he's particularly soft, he'll call you "my heart". it gives a new meaning to the marking on his forehead. ♥️ the ring: has a private jeweler bring a bunch of stones for you to pick from. If you don't like any of them, he'll simply send requests to the other kages to send their brightest stones for you to see.

Kankuro: he's confident in every part of his life except romance. When he walks over to ask you out, the question comes out in a stutter and his cheeks are red. Fortunately you get what he's saying and happy to agree. Always has an arm casually slung around your shoulders if you're walking around. Can be a little jealous but he tries very hard to not let you see it. Loves you dearly and often worries he won't be able to keep you happy. ♥️ nicknames: calls you doll all the time. Like Chouji, its basically your name now- he only really calls you by your actual name in serious situations, like if you got hurt. Otherwise, you're doll. "Doll, have you seen my war paint?" "what do you want for dinner, doll?" "Doll, I'm heading to a meeting," like this. ♥️ the ring: he's a creative and has experience with materials for his puppets, so he makes the ring himself.

*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ ⑅ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥*̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥ ୨୧ *̩̩̥♡*̩̩̥

#itachi uchiha #sasuke uchiha #naruto uzumaki #shikamaru nara #sabaku no gaara

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lavender-long-stories · 4 days

Text

Spoilers for Lavender Umbrellas | Rated T

Kisame slammed down his chair, his jaw set, fists curled into balls, and his eyes burning a hole into the desk. “We need to get your jacket embroidered with your name.”

“What?” Hinata asked cautiously.

Deidara sat down, eyeing Kisame skittishly, looking pale. “I’ll… do it today, yeah.”

In another moment, Itachi barreled into the classroom, slamming his hands down on their desk. “Are you trying to get expelled?!”

Hinata's eyes flickered between the three of them. “What happened?”

Lavender Umbrellas

Hinata moves to her cousin's school and makes friends with a misfit study group, namely Kisame. Heartfelt relationship between a shy small girl and a big tough guy.

#kisame hoshigaki #kisame x hinata #kisahina #hinata hyuuga #hinata hyuga #story snippet #story snippet sm #lavender umbrellas

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x-authorship-x · 1 year

Note

The only thing I can think of when I think about DP!Obito×Spider!Shisui is Obito somehow ending up in a very dangerous situation that leaves him heavily injured or something and Shisui is freaking out and when he realizes that Obito is still alive despite everything has a whole breakdown over almost losing him and all Obito can say before passing tf out is, "So you do care about me :)" with a smug little smirk

😏😏😏 we love Shisui being the serious and heart wrenching one in the dynamic for once... Obito gets to be a silly goose and I think that's wonderful ✨✨✨

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #shisui #obito #shisui x obito #deadpool obito #spiderman shisui #spiderverse shisui au #spiderverse au #itsv #atsv #atsv spoilers #guy in the chair itachi #mentor miguel

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immoralimmortals · 5 months

Text

A Song With Ten Names

Chapter 12: A Wistful Waltz

Chapter 1 ☆ Next chapter

Summary of chapter: Change is inevitable, but is it okay? That's really only up to one person, though Itachi and Kisame find it a hard pill to swallow. Regardless, they can only wait for an addition to their makeshift home, wanted or not. The sky, too, is allowed to mourn something as ordinary as day becoming night.

Author's Note: The song for this chapter was, after much deliberation, A Wistful Waltz by Teddy Hyde. I literally cycled through at least ten songs. This is what happens when you write the vibes before having a song to model off of. Ah well.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Don't speak just yet

Let's soak up the time

That we have left

Breathe our vows, when the stars

Chase the clouds

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The smell of rusty iron is, perhaps, not what you want lingering from the object you’ve decided to put on your face. However, Jashin’s most inept disciple is a bit too exhausted to consider the hygienic qualities of a book. Itachi leans down and pokes her once the woman has been found, having consolidated himself just enough to bear the mixed feelings there are when they both sit at the table. Or, in this case, hide underneath the table, as he has discovered her.

The zombies are returning, and the trio of two Akatsuki and one performer are preparing in very different ways.

“Ah! Oh. Hemlo.” Her voice is muffled under the pages. Itachi raises a brow. The man kneels down, elbows on his knees. His ringed finger pushes the papery pseudo-blanket off of her face. He blinks, taking the sight in.

“Miss Takara…” How does he put this politely...? “Have you slept?”

“No!” Only she would respond cheerfully, even if there are bags under very, very, tired eyes. She is, for once, capable of being sarcastic. “Why do you ask?!”

Ah, so she’s the type to get a bit manic when she’s overexerted. It’s both scary and adorable, the raven notes. Though the collar covers his mouth, she can still sense the slightest of smiles as it pinches the bottom of his eyes. “No reason.” Itachi’s humor is one thing, if nothing else: dry. But it masks a concern…:

“Why haven’t you rested?” A weary gaze blinks back, a few seconds of quiet letting calculations run through his head. Her behavior since the announcement has been...odd. Kisame straight up thought she’d be upset, of course, with the return of he whom he viewed as her abusers, so every action since has been baffling to him. Itachi knew better. The explanation for why she’d run off and hide like this cannot merely be fear. He flicks a few pages of the book upon her, gently letting them patter against the top of her cheek. “What’s this?”

… “Hgnnnn…” Ah, so that’s the root of her exhaustion. “I’ve spent so much time trying to read this…” the woman laments, finally picking up both the book from her head and herself from the floor, sitting cross-legged underneath the dinner table. It is much more refined, of course, to be seated instead of laying when one takes a nap at the feet of dining chairs. “I just...can’t get it.”

“Perhaps I may assist.” But as a calm hand begins to reach, at the same speed the woman pulls it back, wearing a worried frown with a gaze unable to meet his. She is concerned... Itachi thus knows how to ask something with his presence alone, the fact he is not leaving: what is wrong?

“This book…” she explains after a moment, raising the object in question to eye level. Why does she feel so guilty when it’s not her fault? Goddammit, man...the shirtless guy didn't know how to read a room. “Hidan gave it to me. It was...the last thing he did before he left.”

Just in case he never saw her again.

Despite Itachi’s disdain for the zealot, it does not overshadow his care for her feelings. “And you cannot read it.”

Ashamed and with pink-tinged cheeks, she nods. “He’s going to be back soon...and...I…” The script is moved to cover the bottom half of her face as if it will conceal her folly, and a nervous voice fades to nearly nothing. “...Oh dear…”

There’s the rub: it contains intimate knowledge meant just for her. Whether the words are ramblings or divine inspiration does not matter to the man who sits with a woman on hardwood floor. It matters to Hidan, and therefore, it matters to Takara. And hypocritically it cycles around until it matters, then and after all, to Itachi.

“Takara-san.”

He speaks her name as they hide together under the dining room table, as small children would from their thoughtless consequences in play. The older brother remembers a past life. A palm is raised, flat and gradually, as he silently coaxes a girl for her trust. The hand is caught in the corner of her vision, and she looks to it. Focus shifts from the fingers, first, to the eyes just beyond the reach. They remain black, and they are so very kind. After a second, pursed lips exhale. She gives in.

“Okay…”

Thus the book is taken into appraising hands. The Uchiha observes the cover, an all too familiar sigil adorning it. Frankly, the tome in itself is fascinating; Hidan really ripped all the pages out of an already printed book, stacked in his own without even a sliver of glue, and carved his icon over the title. Searching beneath the scratch in the leather, it appears to be a former collection of fairy tales. What a shame.

“Just...don’t...—”

Beseeching comes too slow as the raven begins to turn the cover open. Immediately, the scent of aged blood slams into his face. Dark irises had prepared themselves for anything they could witness, and yet they still— though barely— stretch wider.

“...Be upset.”

But it is too late, she’s certain.

… … …

He’s motionless as motionless can be, a thumb pressed to keep the book open by the middle. His eyes don’t even so much as move, at least not to her untrained stare. The quiet starts to drift from concerning to baffling. What's he thinking..?

He’s thinking a lot of things, actually, having tasked himself with reading aloud the first page of a bible on how to ritualistically slaughter everyone you could ever love in the most inhumane ways fathomable. Eventually, as if he saw nothing at all, the book is closed and returned to her hands.

“...I think it’s inevitable you tell him the truth, Miss Takara.” No, he will not interpret this for her, even if it was her last wish, even if it was little Sasuke asking for a bedtime story. It will not happen. Oh, there goes her only hope. She sighs once again, dipping her head in defeat.

What a fucking cop out.

“...Don’t worry,” The addition is soothing, however, and he means it. “I will be there.”

She has to imagine it first, the sight of herself apologizing to Hidan for a good reason, despite how he may initially react, before tense shoulders get to relax. It’s always easier to tell the truth when someone else is there to help. “...Yeah… You’re right... Okay.” It’s high time she take responsibility for her own existence, anyways. The guy can’t go on forever assuming she can learn from what he writes, no matter how crazy he is otherwise.

Itachi, in turn, tries not to imagine Hidan entering a rage with this trivial reveal. If she so much as flinches, the immortal will know her intimidation has a heavy price.

“Thank you,” the performer says.

And once again, the man’s word carries much more weight than a vow from any other set of lips. Under the shade of the wooden table, he nods his head in humility.

“Of course.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Let’s try our luck

I'll stand on the edge, give me a shove

Catch my mouth, while the stars

Chase the clouds

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

While the crow handles matters of the reaper, the shark can’t help but have the cursed doll on his mind. Frustrated fingertips release anxious energy, pressing in a fanning motion upon his cheek much like Takara does upon keys and strings. He sits upon his nicely made bed in a nicely set room, Samehada over his shoulder, propped up on the wall near the most pastoral of framed paintings. It does not speak, of course, but their connection does not necessitate literal words. The sword is satiated on the blue man’s immense chakra supply, yes, but doesn’t he want more? Isn’t it good news the zombies are arriving? That he may break the mundanity before he goes insane? That he can shred the source of her pain piece by piece?

It isn’t. That’s the problem. At least...he’s pretty sure of it. His main doubts come from…

Knock, knock.

...The lady herself.

That’s who awaits as Kisame opens his bedroom door. She looks exhausted, still wearing a nightgown despite it being well past the dreaming hours, but has managed to get dressed with a smile just for him.

“Hello,” she greets. Her voice is soft, making its best attempt to not be too brash by lack of sleep; she had noticed Itachi’s amusement as she was uncensored. “Itachi said you wanted to talk?”

Ah, so he did. How long has it been since his partner left to look for her? Half an hour? They must have had a talk of their own, he observes, as Kisame nods and opens the threshold wider. “If you have a moment,” he requests, knowing very well that if moments are a currency then she is a philanthropist. The door closes behind her back, and a hushed “oh” comes as she acknowledges the ninja’s favorite thing, hardly standing out against the cozy backdrop of this house.

“How’s s...sa…” Oh, she forgot its name. She wants to say it’s Sam but her gut says it’s very unlikely. She gestures at the large bandaged popsickle, waving her hands nonsensically and vocalizing on the back of her tongue until the label of this object comes back to memory. The spell, one of basic cognitive processes, requires many motions to cast.

“Sss...Saaaa….Swwwword.” she finally decides, then repeating it more confidently, fingers outstretched in finale at the darn thing. “How’s your sword doing?”

Kisame blinks at the strange girl. “How do you mean?”

“Well, you spoke about it like it’s alive,” the woman puts, matter of fact. Embarrassment, as always, arrives on a dime and she sputters. “I- am I wrong?” It sounds so silly when she says it, but so many ridiculous things seem to be possible here. “Sorry if I’m wrong.”

The man exhales and pats the top of her head, half pitying and half over and done with the apologies. “I can understand your confusion. I suppose the best answer...is that it is.” Sharp teeth reveal themselves in the smallest sliver of a smile. “Though perhaps not in the same way as you nor I.”

Oh, the dreamer does not have enough brain cells awake to figure out that riddle and she knows it. The sleepless woman isn’t even going to try. She just hums. Yeah. Sure. That’s normal and fine. Kisame watches as she turns her head over her shoulder, taking the sight of a weapon even taller, heavier, than herself. Careful eyes widen as a hand raises.

“Ah-?”

The grip of his upon her wrist is urgent, for a split second, but it quickly becomes gentle once it’s clear she will not come closer. “It...isn’t wise to do that,” Kisame explains. “I wouldn’t touch it, if I were you.”

I can’t let you touch it. I can’t predict what it may do.

“Oh…” Nerves and fatigue make her forgo promises, and she inevitably apologizes again. “Sorry.”

Kisame sighs. “Don’t be.” As delicately as possible, as he is no different than his bloodthirsty sword, he commands his hold on her to try and guide her to the bed. “I wanted to ask you a thing or two.”

“Okay.”

They sit on the edge of the mattress, quilt underneath them both, and a pause overtakes the atmosphere. She’s angelic to him, as always. How does he bring such a sensitive matter up…?

“Kisame?” Her head cocks. The woman is prodding, and yet she’s simultaneously unhurried. She waits, watching the way the Adam’s apple in his throat bobs with a swallow. There’s a guess as to what this could be about— it is, after all, the elephant in the room— but it’ll have to be said in his own way.

Unfortunately for him.

“...I’m not good at this sort of thing,” the man excuses like a swear under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. A blink lowers and raises slowly upon her face, saying it all for her: that’s okay.

So he exhales, heavy and low.

“Are you...okay with this? With their return? They don’t have to come back.” As if that’s his call to make. The swordsman still doesn’t trust the assurance she speaks in turn with a shrug:

“Yeah. It’s okay. I know that you guys are really worried about me...but…” A pause. How does she put this, when there are so many bad assumptions? “Any time I’ve been hurt, it’s been by accident. It’s been because they got frantic and didn’t know what to do. The one and only time I was actually, physically harmed was just before they left. Kakuzu…—”

All of a sudden it feels like revealing a secret that isn’t hers. But...perhaps...speaking his weakness can be the treasurer’s salvation in suspicious eyes. The stranger can’t stand him getting flack for something that she had immediately forgiven.

“...He held me tight and told me to take care of myself. He started to look lost, like he was scared for me, and then it was like he forgot he was holding me. I told him it was too tight as soon as it hurt and then he let go...And then he said he was sorry.”

The last thing he did.

A wary regard looks over the woman for any sense of omission, dishonesty or justification for someone who doesn’t deserve it. But if it’s a lie, she believes every word of it. His gaze becomes hooded, a frown upon his face. Kakuzu…

Kisame sees him in his mind’s eye: a masked man with no heart of his own, who only spoke highly of himself and of economic forces. Him…?

Either there was more to the situation, or Takara has accomplished the impossible, making him worry out of goodness alone.

“Kisame?”

And he’s brought back to earth, back to her anxious, waiting stare. Has she absolved her friend? May he be forgiven? Can this all, after everything, be okay? From the back of his throat, the knight swallows his pride. The royal is his ruler. She dictates what is to be.

“If you say that’s how it happened...then I’ll believe you.” Before she can get too relieved, he follows it up with a caveat: “So you’re not afraid? Of either of them?” Oh, how his stomach churns at her hesitation, one which she takes far too lightly as she allows time to put a finger on her chin and think. Honesty necessitates reflection, and this is not something that has been given her proper attention before, in the whirlwind of change Itachi and Kisame had brought with them. Eyes raise to the ceiling.

“...I don’t think so,” she answers after another moment. “They’re nothing like you guys. But…” The woman tries to remember them, from the moment they met to the second they had to leave. She remembers their volatility, their threats, and the core of it all.

“...But they cared about me,” she concludes. Indeed, she had never thought of it before...but if they didn’t care, they would have just let her go. “They chose me,” she marvels, traveling stare lowering as it tries to find what she really means to say. “They kept me safe. The only thing they asked for…”

Because surely, they had asked for something. How does she put it? What was it really, in the end, all about?

It was about her currency, her wealth of attention.

“...Was our time together.” Yes, that included the bar. For Hidan, who hated every second of lingering where he did not want to be, and yet he never left her side. If she gave any signal of discomfort, no matter how subtle, the perpetrator was sent back, the woman spirited away from potential harm. And Kakuzu? He watched her every minute. It was always back to making money, yes, but it was a pittance to the bounties. She didn’t know the latter fact, no, but she did realize something: he was giving her a career. A way to stand on her own, whenever it was time for them to leave. It just didn’t come the way he had planned.

“They did more than I could have ever asked.”

And they weren’t even ordered to do it. Is that something, Kisame wonders? Is that a part of it all…?

“Takara...” Though not entirely satisfied with one topic, he can only wade into another. His hand has already let go of hers, and part of him wishes it hadn’t, though maybe he would have held so tight by now that he’d bruise, too.

“You’re worth being protected even if it isn’t our orders, you know.” A double-edged sword, both meant to disparage any fake kindness from the other Akatsuki and meant to desperately bolster himself. She trusted the zombies so easily; why, then, is Kisame afraid his share will be lost? Her gentle eyes hold no easy answers, regardless of how predictable and sweet they may be. The man sees, next, how quiet she has become, how very, very small. Something painful enters his brain, something he hadn't considered:

“...Don’t you know that?”

Then there arrives, gloomy and thick, good reason for him to doubt that this issue isn’t beyond their situation, of petty spats between men in red clouds. Dear god, he realizes...to not know her inherent worth...is that her whole life?

In her own head she’s been pondering these words, consumes them and chews them and digests until she can know every ingredient and taste of what makes them so important, so novel, so unfathomable:

She is worth protecting.

Lips part with nothing to say. A flighty heart becomes overwhelmed, her chest heavy and throat tight. Kisame’s brow curls. Did he say something wrong?

No, he said something too right.

Her face grimaces just before the tears come, sliding down her face wet and hot and drenching her skin with the agony of a whole prior lifetime. The phrase repeats over and over and over, like a twisting knife. She is worth protecting. She is worth protecting.

Kisame can only wonder what could have happened to make her doubt such a thing.

Afraid to take her in first, Kisame’s own heart aches to find Takara making the initial motion. The front of her body tilts ahead, towards his chest, until her head is at his collarbone. Then come her hands which climb up, not attempting to hold but simply to touch, to press as if he was holy and could absolve her of this guilt for being alive. Tears soak through his shirt, and shortly after her figure begins to tremble and hiccup with the waves of anguish he’s released the floodgates of. She’s ashamed, still, but deep down the request is crystal clear, and it cannot hide now:

She wants nothing more than to finally be protected.

Forgive her for this.

The hesitation he has only lasts as long as it was before she started to cry. He wraps around the woman so easily, arms around her back and chin overtop her head. He’s big enough to be her shell. He’s strong enough to shield her from any more pain. His fears of delicacy and domestics are momentarily, instantly forgotten, and he wraps her tight. As secure as an oyster shelters its pearl. As complete as the sun holds all of the moon in an eclipse.

It’s like she belongs right here, like she always has. Whatever lurks in wait to hurt her, in this universe or any other, from this point on will have to go through Kisame first. The closeness, the dedication burning through his soul like wildfire— it terrifies him. But he has already warned her. Whatever outcome is next, it will be her fault.

That terrifies him, too.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bring me this day

I'll fill it with air, and we'll fly away

Leave the ground, while the stars

Chase the clouds

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The three wait together a couple rooms from the entryway. It’s supposed to be today; it’s supposed to be any time now, Zetsu had said. For the first time, they all sit at the dining room table at once: quiet, tense, but patient and whole in each other’s company. A finger wipes her right eye one more time and her nose allows a sniffle. She’s never been a pretty crier; certainly the woman’s face is still red. She apologizes once more, an excuse to which Kisame does not acknowledge and Itachi merely nods. The blue man has one arm over the back of her chair, leg crossed over another as he has some time to think.

Only a few days travel…? he ponders. If they’re so close, it’s shocking they hadn’t stopped by in the month they’ve switched places. Granted, Kisame has no idea what their mission was, but…

Itachi finds it not a question worth asking, as the answer will not be known till Hidan and Kakuzu have arrived. One arm is slung in the front of his coat while the other holds onto ceramic, raising it to his lips. Liking to mirror, the traveler does the same with her cup—

Knock knock!

Kisame reflexively slaps her back as she begins to choke on her tea.

“They’re here!” she gasps with absolute abandon, throwing herself up like a rocket and starting to scurry to the front door. The men’s eyes follow in a circular motion, as she leaves the room, comes back to set down her drink, and leaves once again. The taller man sighs.

“They’re here,” the phrase repeats, though with the slimmest acceptance of it. He picks himself up at a much slower pace, rubbing his back with a stretch as the banging continues like they’re both deaf and have cotton stuck in their ears:

Knock knock knock knock!

“That’s quite a lot of damn energy Hidan’s got today,” he puts rather graciously. The loosening of his spine ends and he looks to his partner across the wooden furniture. “Shall we?”

…

Itachi furrows his brow. On anyone else, it’d be nearly invisible, but the small shift is massive on such a calm, steady expression. Something isn’t quite right.

Breathless lungs take a second to fill, in and out, in and out, a couple of times until she gets closer to some semblance of control. Don’t be too much, she reminds herself. Not too needy or annoying— but wait, still let them know they’re wanted! Oh, there’s no right answer, is there?!

Knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock —

It’s giving her a headache, standing so close to all this banging. Just open the damn door.

Butterflies fly out of her chest and into the air, unable to be contained. The knob is turned and evening sun streams in, blinding her with a gift from God.

“HEY GUYS!” the host cheers for dear life. Though having just sobbed, the teardrops are so ready to come again. “I— I— I didn’t think I’d SEE you again! I missed you so—”

...

The woman freezes in place, eyes closed in delight now popping wide open. They have now adjusted to the light, and what is seen does not make sense.

“—...much?” she squeaks.

“It’s very flattering of you to miss me!” A shrill voice answers, unfamiliar feet standing upon the front porch. Its owner has spiky black hair and similarly covered attire from the tips of its fingers and almost to its toes. “But I don’t think we’ve ever met!”

The only part of her that moves is her mouth. Very, very slowly, the corners of her lips fall.

“Or did we?” an orange swirl interrupts silence, bringing an index finger and thumb to frame a nonexistent face. “You’re so quiet and motionless, maybe you’re a mannequin I saw at the tailor’s! Orrrrrr maybe I saw you on the wall, like a little fly! Get it?” Excited expressions deflate as no response comes in turn, elbows still raised but hands and head going limp in disappointment. “...You do, right….?” But no amount of teasing is getting her to talk again. She has one thought in her head that supersedes everything else:

What the heck is happening right now.

“What on earth...?” Kisame dips in, having to bend just a little to get a proper view out the entry. FIsh eyes blink. “Oh. Well, this isn’t what was expected.” Eyeballs alone shoot up to look at the tall man, as if he can save her from this...mistake. To her surprise, he grins, just as the final person in the trio walks in, tea in hand, and gets to meet their unexpected fourth.

“Hello, Tobi,” Kisame greets, admitting relief in trading one newcomer for another. The wrong masked man flails his arms in an enthusiastic, childish wave.

“Hell-oh!”

Takara doesn’t have the aptitude to notice Itachi behind her, for once not only in just a blue moon but a whole blue decade left speechless and not by his choice. Though, even if he could say the one thing he’s thinking, he would not. It’s far too impolite:

Damn you, Zetsu.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Relativity proves

That I'll see you soon

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#akatsuki x reader #aswtn fic #songfic #itachi x reader #kisame x reader #akatsuki x oc #akatsuki

6 notes · View notes

mixelation · 11 months

Text

starting a new thread for reborn au from this one

the beginning of the exam :)

Deidara woke up in a surprisingly good mood. The start of the exam meant he’d have an opportunity to do something with all his pent up energy. Set some fires, blow up some things. It could be fun, even if Iwa was annoying them.

His mood was immediately ruined by one of the Taki genin hogging their bathroom, and then by the front desk still denying them weapons.

“You don’t need them for the first stage,” the Iwa-nin insisted. “If you pass, you’ll be given weapons at the beginning of the next stage.”

Kushina’s fist clenched, and a few strands of hair twitched. Deidara would pay money to see her go full Red Hot Habanero on this guy.

“We were promised them at the start of the exam,” she insisted. “We were invited here as a show of good will. Why are you discriminating against my team?”

The Iwa-nin just held her gaze. “I’m just doing as I’m told, ma’am.”

Typical Iwa-nin. Not a creative or unique thought in his head. Deidara didn’t remember this guy, but he hated him.

Unfortunately, Tori stepped in before Kushina could lose her temper. “When’s the next stage?”

“When the first stage ends,” the Iwa-nin replied.

“But where do we go? Will someone find us?” Tori pressed.

Deidara zoned out as she needled him. One of the benefits of having nerds like Tori and Itachi on his team was that they could worry about all the boring details.

Breakfast was a lot of fruit, which at least looked decent, along with some salted meat and very hard bread. They also had pine needle tea out, which Deidara poured himself an extra large cup of.

Kushina was already wandering over to the Kiri duo before Tori had finished pouring her own tea, and Tori made an annoyed little hum at the back of her throat.

“I thought you wanted to be friends?” Deidara teased.

“I think he’s… too friendly,” Tori bemoaned. “Oh well.”

“Okay,” Deidara announced conspiratorially as he set his tray down next to Mangetsu’s. “First stage they told us we don’t need weapons, so it’s probably combat-free. But second stage… I say we get rid of the idiots hogging our bathroom, yeah.”

Mangetsu laughed. “Deal,” he said, showing off his horrid pointed teeth.

A group of Iwa-nin took them back up to the same building where they’d done their security check. They were then left in a waiting area as Iwa genin slowly filtered in in pairs and trios. Both Kushina and Kisame disappeared at some point, but Deidara barely noticed because he was fixated on one genin in particular.

Kurotsuchi, granddaughter of Oonoki and next in line to inherit his title, was in this exam. She sat perched on the back of one of the few chairs scattered around the room, chatting with two other Iwa-nin that Deidara assumed was her team. He didn’t recognize either of them; they were both in their mid-teens, and Deidara assumed they were assigned specifically to fill in Kurotsuchi’s team.

Deidara had liked Kurotsuchi, before. She was a chill person who thought his art was cool even if she never really got it, and she was willing to get him out of trouble when he “disobeyed orders” and “broke important rules.”

She was also an incredibly spoiled little thing. She hadn’t gone to the Academy with the plebians; she’d been trained from birth by private tutors. She’d always had everything handed to her, never having to do her own chores or take shitty D-ranks. Deidara hadn’t even been on her radar until he’d made Jounin and had his own reputation in the village, so he hadn’t met her until they were both teenagers.

Kurotsuchi had once confessed to him that she used to look down on other shinobi, who didn’t grow up with all the special training she did. She hadn’t realized it didn’t make her special or better until she was a chunin and was running missions with shinobi that were just as good if not more skilled than her. He didn’t know what she’d be like as an eleven-year-old; he suspected he wouldn’t like her.

He didn’t think she’d be much to worry about, in terms of the exam. Kurotsuchi was talented and well-trained, which would make her a standout among a more normal group of shinobi, but she wasn’t the screaming genius he or Itachi were. Tori might have to be careful, but…

“What?” Itachi asked, following his gaze. “Ah.”

Deidara thought about hitting him. No way he recognized her; he had to just be pretending to preserve how smart he was.

“Oh!” Tori exclaimed, like she also recognized her.

“Who is that?” Mangetsu asked, dropping his voice. Like they would just tell him–

“She’s the Tsuchikage’s granddaughter,” Tori supplied. Mangetsu blinked at her in surprise.

Goddammit, Tori, Deidara thought.

Tori turned to Deidara curiously. “Do you think she’ll be a problem?”

“I’m not an Iwa expert,” Deidara snapped in a bid to maintain his cover, but Itachi just raised his eyebrows at him like he was stupid. Which he wasn’t– he just had a cover story to stick to, why did Itachi have to– ugh! “Look, Iwa’s not like Konoha or Kiri. Tsuchikage is a hereditary title. They all expect her to be the next one; they’ll have given her all sorts of special training, regardless of how talented she is or isn’t, yeah.”

“Oooh,” Mangetsu said, turning to give her another one-over. He then much more subtly watched Tori out of the corner of his eye for a reaction.

Tori did not seem to notice, scanning the room and taking in the other entrants. Deidara was easily the youngest person here. Most people were in the range of fourteen to sixteen, which reflected the average age of promotion at fifteen. There weren’t any adults; if you got into your late teens and wanted a chunin promotion, you basically had to do it within your village’s internal mechanisms. The exams were for showing off new, young people.

Mangetsu pouted.

Eventually they were funneled into a line, at the end of which a bored looking Iwa chunin handed each one of them a form.

“It’s a liability waiver,” he said. “All exams have them. Don’t worry, it’s basic stuff.”

Tori, ex-secretary extraordinaire, became the first person in line to attempt to read the three page document of tiny text.

“Could you hurry up?” the chunin asked. “You’re holding up the line.”

“You cannot honestly expect me to sign something I haven’t read,” Tori replied.

Next to her, Itachi’s eyes flickered red as he flipped through the pages.

“It’s fine,” he concluded. “Tori, you can sign it.”

“Well,” Tori said, sounding annoyed, “can I get a copy for my records?”

“No,” the Iwa-nin replied flatly as Mangetsu snorted with laughter. “Sign it now or forfeit your exam.”

Tori signed it, although she looked incredibly unhappy about it.

“If a ninja tells you not to worry, you should worry,” Tori grumbled as another chunin directed them down a hallway.

“I read it, it’s fine,” Itachi told her. “If you’re that upset, I can recite it to you.”

He only got through one line before they were being ushered into a small briefings room. Mangetsu, who’d been trailing behind them, was directed to a different one. Each of them were handed a thin, short scroll, the kind you could tie to an animal or swallow in an emergency. Each was capped with a different color.

“Spread out,” one of the three chunin in their room commanded. They complied. Well, Deidra stayed where he was; Itachi took several steps back from him, and Tori retreated all the way to a corner. “Open your scroll and memorize it. Do not say anything or communicate with your teammates.”

Deidara’s was a string of coordinates. Easy.

“You will each follow one of us,” the chunin commanded after a few minutes.

They separated them.

Interesting, Deidara thought as he was led into an empty room. He was instructed to sit, and then the chunin tied his hands to the chair. Very interesting.

“The first stage of this exam is traditionally an information gathering exercise,” the chunin told him, dead serious. “This year, we have elected to test your ability to keep the information you’ve gathered confidential. The waiver you signed authorized the use of torture.”

“It’s fine,” Deidara mocked Itachi in his mind. Asshole.

“Okay,” Deidara said, grinning cheekily up at the proctor. “Bring it on, then.”

They didn’t actually torture him. Or, rather, they just left him alone for an hour and turned the AC up really high. He heard several muffled screams from both neighboring rooms, which would maybe freak some genin out. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone back for a second cup of tea…

Eventually the guy came back and started asking Deidara questions. Deidara didn’t think this was a very good interrogation, and he gave a lot of smartass answers. The guy had a lightning jutsu he used for a few mild shocks, but it wasn’t really what Deidara would classify as torture.

The proctor went away again. Deidara’s bladder situation was getting kind of dire… should he just escape, or would they count that as a fail? Decisions, decisions.

Eventually, the proctor came back with a napkin in his hand. As he shut the door behind him, the screams next door got louder.

“Your teammate is on the brink of talking,” he said. “But I’ll give you a deal. If you talk, you’ll pass. No questions asked.”

Deidara cocked his head to the side. “Not really the point of this test, is it?” he asked.

“Alright, I’ll explain,” the proctor said. “If none of you had talked, you would have passed. But…”

He opened the napkin in his hand. It contained a bloody tooth.

“The girl on your team got a more enthusiastic interrogator. She’s going to talk at any second, so you’re basically screwed,” He shoved the gross tooth under Deidara’s nose. “But I have a bet with her interrogator that I’d get you to talk first. Help me out, and I can convince my superior to let you into the next stage of the exam.”

Deidara leaned back in his seat so he could make eye contact with the chunin.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s all you have to do to pass,” the interrogator confirmed. The screams next door kept going.

“No,” Deidara said, letting a grin spread over his face. “Is that all you did to Tori? Because if it is, that’s not even close to enough to break her, yeah.”

He was pretty sure the streaming was on a loop, anyway. Kiddy shit, honestly.

xXx

“The waiver you signed authorized the use of torture,” the proctor informed Itachi.

“No, it didn’t,” Itachi replied.

The waiver had been the standard rigamarole that Konoha couldn’t start a war over him being killed or maimed as part of regular exam activities, with the understanding that Iwa had a responsibility to his safety, health, and wellbeing outside of explicit exam activities, as well as a clause about Iwa not assigning unusually cruel or difficult tasks. It honestly was only a page’s worth of text; they’d shrunk the font and repeated it five times over for the illusion of length to deter examinees from reading it.

Maybe he should have let Tori read it… oh well, she’d be fine.

The proctor seemed unsure what to do with this statement, as he then just left. Rude.

They started recordings of a lot of screams in neighboring rooms. Itachi’s nose itched. He slipped a hand free of his restraints and scratched it, then replaced his hand. Sometime later his proctor returned.

With a twitch of his fingers, the proctor was in his genjutsu and explaining the parameters of… whatever this was.

“So an escape counts as a pass?” Itachi verified.

“Yes.”

Itachi walked out of the room.

xXx

“Oooh, the prisoner’s dilemma,” Tori said. “How fun. So we all pass if none of us say anything, but you’re going to tell me I’ll pass if I talk and my teammate’s don’t?”

The proctor looked vaguely taken aback. Just a little; Iwa-nin were pretty good at hiding their emotions.

“How does this work for solo entrants?” Tori asked, wondering what they were making Mangetsu do right now.

The proctor walked right out and left her for a very long time. The room got significantly colder, and the muffled screams got louder. Tori stretched out her legs in front of her and eyed her toe nails. She should have let Kushina paint them green…

This was pretty uncomfortable. And boring. And twice the fake proctor came in and shocked her with a device in his hand, promising it would only get worse. Would other genin think this was torture?

The proctor came back with a bloody tooth and said it was Deidara’s.

Tori raised her eyebrows. “From which mouth?”

The proctor was struggling more and more to control his face. What a horrible fake interrogator. “The one in his head.”

This obviously wasn’t Deidara’s tooth for several reasons, one of which being that the building was still standing, and the main one being that Tori was pretty sure that it wasn't even a real tooth.

So how did she pass? She obviously wasn’t supposed to do what the interrogator wanted her to do and hand over the list of names she had, even as the interrogator promised she'd pass if she just talked before Deidara or Itachi as a favor to the proctor. Did she just have to hang out for a certain period of time, or give a speech about how she would never yield? The desk-nin said they’d get an hour break for lunch, and that someone would find them then and they’d have their weapons by the time the second stage started at noon, so they had to be done by eleven…

“....no,” she said when the interrogator was done with his lie about winning a bet. Then much more firmly she repeated, “No.”

“Your teammate is going to break anyway,” he said, hilariously dire.

“No, he’s not,” Tori replied. “And neither is Itachi, and neither am I. You’re wasting everyone’s time. Doesn’t the next stage start at noon?”

The Iwa-nin paused. He frowned.

“Who told you that?”

“I’m not supposed to talk,” Tori said, smiling benignly.

A very pained look flashed across the proctor's face, and then he left. Around fifteen minutes later, a woman showed up to untie her and tell her passed.

Tori was led into a cafeteria for their promised meal break, where Itachi found her immediately.

“You could have just escaped,” he told her. “I had to talk to Mangetsu for an hour without you.”

“Sorry?” Tori replied.

“Tori!” Mangetsu yelled from a seat at one of the long tables in the room. He waved enthusiastically at her.

“Sorry,” Tori repeated.

Deidara showed up a few minutes later. Probably only about two-thirds the entrants had passed, and they were able to spread out over the tables.

“What’s a normal pass rate?” Tori asked. “Is this high? It seems like that was too easy. Also, Mangetsu, what did they make you do?”

Mangetsu had no idea. They’d given him three scrolls and the spiel about having authorized torture, and then he’d just left.

“Is the best way to avoid revealing info to just leave?” he said when Tori expressed surprise at how quickly he’d made this decision.

“Gods,” Deidara said, craning his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I should have just left, yeah. I almost pissed myself.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Itachi asked. “Surely you could escape a test meant for a genin. Or did you not think of it?”

Tori sighed and moved down one seat away from them as Deidara threw a punch at Itachi. Maybe it was a good thing he didn’t currently have clay on him.

#reborn au #my writing #i've been going back and forth on if team 4 calls her kushina-sensei or just kushina in-text #and i think i might stick to just kushina because otherwise it is a lot to type LMAO

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