#guys i’m being so fucking serious whenever my drawings are at risk i feel like i’m gonna get a fucken heart attack

[mariusroyale]

NEVERMIND EVERYTHING WORKED OUT 😭😭

[jawabear]

Marcus Moreno NSFW Alphabet

Not my GIF

A/N: You know I had to write one for this boy. It would be wrong not too. As with the others, these are just my interpretations of his character and may differ to yours, but please be respectful of others’ views. Hope you enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe.

Genre: smut

Warnings: fem!hero!reader, mentions of sex, but nothing explicitly described, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning

Summary: An A-Z of Marcus Moreno’s bedroom antics...

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Marcus is such a kind man. He’ll make sure you’re okay. And he’ll make sure you don’t need anything before pulling you into his arms if you’re in bed. If you’re else were, he’ll still make sure you’re alright, making you look perfect before you get to where ever you’re meant to be.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you, he finds your neck irresistible. Other than your lips, it’s his favourite thing to kiss. He loves to mark it with bites that show everyone you belong to him. He loves to bury his face into your neck while he fucks you, he loves the way your fingers feel in his hair when he does.

On him, he’s rather fond of his arms and his tights (so am I). Mainly because he likes it when you grip his arms when he fucks you, and he loves when you ride his thighs. It’s one of his favourite things, and you always seem to enjoy yourself when you make yourself come on his thighs.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves to come on you. Over your breasts, your stomach...

And he loves to come in your mouth, he loves to see you swallow his come.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Before you two got together, and after his wife died, he would find him self in need of release. And being one of Heroics as well, there were many clips of you online doing awesome super hero things. He loved watching those. He loved watching the way you moved. The way your muscles flexed. The way you beat up the bad guys so effortlessly. And it was so sexy. He’d watch them in the dead of night while getting himself off. But he doesn’t know if he should ever tell you, because it is a little weird.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I mean, he’s got a kid. Clearly he knows what he’s doing.

He certainly does know what he’s doing. He knows where exactly to touch you to make you feel good before you even know.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He’s a big fan of the classic missionary because he can see your face and kiss you as well as being able to hold your hands which is a big thing that he likes to do.

He also loves when you are on top. Riding him, facing him or not or riding his thighs. He also loves 69......

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He can be more funny then serious depending on his mood and the circumstances for the sex. He likes to enjoy it and wants to make sure you are enjoying it as well so if he needs to make you laugh he will. But he is mostly serious when it comes to sex.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s pretty neat down there. It seems he takes more care of his hair down there than he does on his face or his head.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Marcus is a very romantic person. He wants to make sure you are happy. He wants to make sure you know how much he loves and worships you. So he will do whatever he can to put those points across to you as he makes love to you. This would usually be by kissing you for an extended amount of time or just simply telling you how much he loves and adores you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

As stated before, in the time he was on his own, he would jack off quite a lot at night or in the shower (mostly to the thought of you). But now, less so. He’ll still do it on the odd occasion, say if your out on hero business, but you’re usually there to help him out if he needs it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He wants to be your hero. So he’s a big fan of role play. He loves when you decided to put yourself “in danger” for him to have to come and rescue you. Or you acting as someone who is evil and he has to stop you...and punish you.

And he has a slight weapons kink. He would never hurt you with the blade but something about seeing you with his katanas and nothing else drives him mad.

And I’m not saying he has a daddy kink, but I wouldn’t put it past him....

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Bedroom. Or the shower. He doesn’t really have a preference between the two. But he’ll go anywhere as long as you are comfortable and happy.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

A lot of things came get him going. The main ones being when you are in your hero uniform or when your fingers with lightly brush over any part of him.

But mostly the uniform. Definitely the uniform. Yours or his....

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

As much as he loves the role play and the weapons, he’d never actually use it to draw blood or cause you any sort of discomfort.

And he wouldn’t want to have sex in a public setting where people could see. He’s not so much against say touching you under the table or what ever, but if it came down to him having to fuck you in front of someone he wouldn’t do it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Marcus loves to be between your legs. He’ll eat you out at any given moment. He’s all about pleasing you. And he loves the way you squeak, moan and whimper as he eats you. As well as the way you grab at him to hold his head closer to you.

But he’s an absolute sucker for you sucking him off. As mentioned, he loves to watch you swallow his come. And he loves the feeling of your mouth and tongue on him. You can easily turn him into mush the second your tongue touches his dick.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s kind of in the middle. He can be both extremes (favouring slow and sensual) but he falls some where in between. He’s not exactly slow, but he’s not exactly fast. But somehow it’s the perfect balance that gives you the best orgasms of your life.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not too against them. Sometimes that’s what it will have to be, what with his job and Missy being around.

Sometimes it will have to be a quick fuck in the supply cupboard at HQ. Or a quick one in the kitchen before Missy comes down for breakfast.

But he much prefers to take his time with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He used to risk his life every day fighting the dangers of the world, and that mentality does transfer to the bedroom.

If you want to try something, he’ll do it. Unless it’s super dangerous or really really risky.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s not a young as he used to be so he can’t go for that many rounds. In a row that is. If you spaced them out over the days he could got for quite a few. But in a row he’s good for about two.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s never really needed them so he’s never really owned any. But when you brought your trusty little purple vibrator to the party, he grew embarrassingly fond of it. He loves to watch you use it on yourself and he loves using it on you while he eats you out, making you scream. And he likes it when you use it on him, teasing him with it or taking him all the way.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He not necessarily a tease with actions, more with faces or words. He’ll constantly be whispering dirty things into your ear whenever he gets the chance and he’ll send you sexy looks or winks from across the room. He’s very good at getting you worked up with our having to touch you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

With Missy in the house, it’s very much hush hush. For multiple reasons that are pretty obvious. But when she’s gone, he doesn’t hold back. He lets out every sound he had to hold in. He’s not exactly loud, he just makes a lot of noises. But they’re amazing to listen too.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Marcus does find it difficult to make the first move. Even when he does, when just charges at you or something, he will always backtrack or stop to ask you if you want it. You will always want him and you’ve told him that on many occasions but it doesn’t seem to stick in his head. He’s just too sweet to let the beast inside him run free for once.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s pretty decent. He’s longer than he is thick but he’s perfect for you.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

To be fair, it’s not all that high. He has a lot on his plate and sex is usually quite far down the list. He’s so busy all the time that he barely even has time for sex. Which is kind of sad and annoying for both you and him, but most of the time you’re pretty busy as well.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

His mind never stops so he finds it difficult to sleep full stop. But sex always seems to relax him enough to make him feel comfortable in getting some sleep. But he is a very light sleeper. And he won’t fall asleep until he has checked you are okay and he’s given the house a once over to make sure everything was locked and everything was where it should be. He’ll take a quick peek into Missy’s room to make sure she is okay before he comes back to bed and eventually falls asleep with you wrapped in his arms.

28/12/20

Taglist: @linkpk88​

[lightsinthedistancee]

Congrats!!! Angst 11 with Frankie? I can totally picture one of the boys asking him that and calling him out when he’s in denial of his feelings for f!reader

Thanks! Hope you enjoy!

“Is she really just a friend?” - Francisco ‘Catfish’ Morales x Reader

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Secrecy

Words: 1.6k

Excerpt: “You’re the one who always knows how to keep him up when he begins to spiral, begins to drink a little too much, begins to think of certain substances he’d once abused in order to forget.

“You’re the one who always knows what to say when he feels his exterior cracking, feels events of the past begin to seep through in anger, grief, or pure instability.

“In uncomplicated terms, perhaps you’re simply the only one who always seems to know him.”

Warnings: Very Mild Smut, Language

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.

Present

You’re simply staring.

Out the window of the living room, into unremarkable space. Onto the street where car after car passes by, each one seemingly blending into the last. Upon overcast skies that drain the colors outside of their saturation.

“You gonna say something or not?” says Frankie, breaking the silence. An air of hostility lies between the two of you. He sits on the couch, back hunched, forehead propped against his fist.

The main event of the past few hours lays heavy in the background, fogging both your minds—storm clouds that threaten to bring carnage upon everything.

It’d been a statement by Frankie in the company of the guys—just the mere beginnings of one, one with enough information behind it for you to intervene, to cut him off and shut it down before anything was heard.

The statement…it was one that would’ve told a lot. One that would’ve told of the many times Frankie’s hands had woven into your hair before his lips found yours, one that would’ve revealed numerous long nights together.

Not officially a secret, but never a relationship mentioned nor told.

“Why don’t you want to tell them? Why don’t you want to tell anyone?” His voice is profound in the quiet, loaded with hurt and confusion and a desperate need to know. “What’s the harm in it?”

And still without a single word, without a single glance towards him, you walk from the room.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Past

“F-Frankie….”

His name is a stutter from your lips as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, practically panting into his skin as his hips work against yours.

The wall you’re pressed up against painfully digs into your spine, yet the ache is an afterthought, buried in the shadow of the pure pleasure coursing through your veins.

The sounds of the guys in the kitchen below faintly travels through the floor. It makes a thrill as well as a menacing nervousness spike hot in your mind.

It was a simple weekend get-together among friends that had brought you here, you and Frankie being sent up the stairs of the house to get something, somehow ending up in this situation.

You groan at a particular movement, knotting your hands tighter into his locks, pulling hard enough to make him groan. He’s muttering filth in your ear, your legs gripping his waist tighter and tighter.

“Did you find it?” Benny’s voice echoes up the stairs all of a sudden, piercing the haze you and Frankie had been lost in together. Your mind is in an incoherent state, entirely forgetting what you’d been sent up here to find. “What’s taking so long?”

You stare at Frankie, whose eyes are wide open now, his movements frozen. The corners of your lips beg to turn upwards, and you nearly giggle at the absurdity of it all, and you slowly raise your index finger to your lips, signaling for him to stay quiet.

“Still looking!” you call out. “Should find it soon.”

An affirmative response sounds back, and despite everything going on, Frankie feels all his emotions diminishing to one thing, one sensation that sets every inch of him alight.

The feeling of you clenching around him, your index finger to your lips, a hint of a smirk on those beautiful lips of yours—the secrecy of it all…it’s exciting.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Present

“Sweetheart….” His voice is a whisper as he approaches you from behind.

You’re in the kitchen now, hands shaking as you pour yourself a glass of water. Exhaustion is seemingly the main product of the tension that had hung between the two of you.

His hand rests gently on the side of your waist, the rest of his body refraining from even grazing yours. An acute worry runs through his head in circles. “I know you’re not leading me on with whatever this whole thing between us is—“

“I’m not,” you whisper, saying your first words in a while.

“—so talk to me. Why don’t you want to tell?”

The ever-pervasive question. Again.

You sigh, turning around to face him. Your hips gently settle on the edge of the counter, your eyes tiredly shutting. “I…I just…I really like you, Frankie.”

He raises an eyebrow, the confusion written across his face nearly comical. “I-I should hope so? I mean, you’re not really explaining anything, cariño.”

You laugh weakly, the sound pathetically dying out near the end, lacking the conviction to even resolutely finish. “What I mean is….” You draw in a deep breath, your eyes finally flicking to his. “…I don’t want what I have with you to fail, and I’m terrified of that happening, and…isn’t that only possible when something is officially real?”

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Past

“C’mon, ‘Fish. Is she really just a friend?”

Frankie laughs, shaking his head in a perfect lie of denial. “You’re an idiot. Of course she’s just a friend.”

The small bar the four of them are in—him, Santi, Will, and Benny—possesses a unique calmness and comfort to it, a place they’d been going to for ages.

“Friends who fuck, then?” Santi continues his barrage of questions, the beginnings of an infuriating smirk on his face.

Friends who fuck really fucking well. “No,” Frankie insists, even as the other clumsily-formed thought sounds in his mind.

The other three guys practically shake their heads, returning to their previous conversation. The questioning is nearly a ritual at this point, said repeatedly, as if they’re determined to wrench what they want to be said out of him.

Frankie can vividly recall the things all of them had been saying over and over for months, in one way or another.

She knows you entirely too well.

What is it with the two of you?

You cannot possibly fucking tell me there is nothing going on.

And perhaps they’re right.

Frankie had risked his life with these guys, almost died with them, made last confessions and regrets in the near certain face of death. He’s inexorably bound to them till the day he dies. But despite that, when it comes to Frankie, even in competition with his closest friends, you always seem to be just one step ahead when it comes to knowing him.

You’re the one who always brings up the subject of leaving when places grow too crowded for his liking, striking a subtle discomfort across his face that no one else notices.

You’re the one who always knows how to keep him up when he begins to spiral, begins to drink a little too much, begins to think of certain substances he’d once abused in order to forget.

You’re the one who always knows what to say when he feels his exterior cracking, feels events of the past begin to seep through in anger, grief, or pure instability.

In uncomplicated terms, perhaps you’re simply the only one who always seems to know him.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Present

Your words shock him.

Isn’t that only possible when something is officially real?

He doesn’t know what you’ve been through to develop this level of paranoia, this level of reservation, but god, does he want to know. He wants you to let him in all the way, wants to be able to kiss you whenever he likes, wants to say three words that’ll  officially cement things as serious.

But, even then…looming over all of that is a more menacing question that demands to be answered, one that makes him want to shrink into nothing.

“You don’t think this is real?” he whispers, his voice cracking at the implication—that what the two of you feel even in secrecy is not enough to make it so.

“What?” Your eyes snap up to his with the urgency of distress. “No, of course I think it’s real.” The statement is a near desperate exclamation as you watch him, looking for any sign that he believes you, that you haven’t destroyed even more of this with a single sentence.

His features relax, back to a quiet concern.

A long, drawn-out stretch of silence passes, filled with relief and more questions to be asked.

“Then why does telling make it more real?” he finally asks.

You falter, searching for an explanation beyond a simple feeling of fear. “I…I don’t know,” you admit. “Maybe it’s just conceptual, maybe something I’ve just made up in my head and refused to go back on, but…but it just scares me, the thought of this being real and then failing. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but—“

“—I think it makes sense,” he interjects. More tentatively this time, he leans into you, wrapping his arms around your waist, rubbing soothing circles over the small of your back. “And why are you terrified this’ll fail? Do you think it will?”

“I…I don’t know,” you respond softly, brow crunched in apprehension. “Things just happen…I suppose.”

He hums in contemplation, fingers pulling your chin up to look at him. “Well, that’s not a very good reason,” he muses, a signature humor to him that you’re all too familiar with. When you laugh quietly, it’s a real laugh, one that delights his ears. “Things just don’t happen, too, y’know.”

You press your face into his shoulder, the slightest act of affection, an unsaid agreement. It feels different now that he’s in it with you, now that he knows and can challenge every absurd thought you’ve entertained.

“We can start just by telling the guys,” he proposes quietly. “If you want to…. It’s just them.”

His hand squeezes yours assuredly, a promise that everything is going to be fine. Your response is soft, a little hesitant-sounding at first, but ultimately decided. “Alright.”

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

A/N: I’ll admit I’m not super sure about this one since this is a little different from what I usually write but it was so much fun to write and such a fun challenge to create. And @hnt-escape, so I…umm….obviously changed the “Frankie in denial of feelings” part of the ask, so I hope you didn’t mind that?

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Thanks for reading!

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Sex Tape

Pairings: Johnny Depp x Reader

Request: “ If you take requests, would you consider doing johnny reaction to like theirs sex tape getting leaked? Reader may also be a celebrity or not. Whatever you prefer “ - @fanficshitandother 

Warnings: Mentions of sex but no actual smut

Word Count: 1800

A/N: Sorry this one is so short. I was having a harder time writing it than I thought I would. I hope you enjoy!

__________________________________

Shit. 

You knew this was a bad idea when he suggested it but no. He just had to have this video “for when he was away filming.” It always ended like this, though, right? It always started out as fun and games until bam! Celebrity sex tape leaked! 

The gossip talk show video that your best friend had sent you was still playing on your phone and you watched in silent horror as the red haired woman talked about your sex life to her male counterpart as if she had any actual right to have an opinion. In the top corner was a picture of you and Johnny at the red carpet for the premier of the Crimes of Grindelwald, his arm around your waist and both of you smiling for the paparazzi pictures. “Okay, guys. You are going to want to hear this,” She started, clasping her absurdly long acrylic-clad fingers together and holding onto her knees, “So there has been yet another sex tape leaked and I want you to guess who’s it is.” She looked over to her co-host. He had a push broom mustache that was bleached blonde to match his hair. 

The man hummed before waving his hand, which also donned long yellow acrylics, “I swear, Laurel, if this is another Kardashian or Paris Hilton tape, I’m gonna scream. That’s such old news.” 

“Actually, it’s someone that I certainly didn’t expect. Johnny Depp and his wife, Y/N L/N.” She dropped the news and the co-star’s mouth dropped. 

“Are you serious? Like Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd, Willy Wonka, Johnny Depp?” He asked in total shock, “I didn’t expect that either! But you know what? I feel like he’d be really good in bed.” 

He and Laurel both laughed, “You’re so bad!” She squealed, hitting him with the paper notes in her hand, “But, between you and me,” She leaned in, as if she was telling an actual secret that wasn’t being broadcast on the internet, “I did see it.” 

“And?” 

“It was pretty hot, I can’t lie. That Y/N is a very lucky girl indeed.” The pair giggled like a pair of school girls. 

You were absolutely mortified. How did this happen? How many people had seen it? Who had seen it? Oh God… all you could imagine was your family stumbling across the video or, debatably worse, Johnny’s kids. This had to be one of the worst moments of your life. 

You turned off the video and quickly dialed your husband. “Hello, love.” He greeted cheerily on the other end. The faint sound of cars passing in the background told you he was probably driving home from the meeting he had been at. 

“Did you see it? Did you hear it?” You asked frantically. 

“What?” He asked, confused.

“The video! The video got leaked!” You ran your fingers through your hair messily, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. 

“What video?” He questioned, not sounding like he fully understood what had happened, but then you could almost feel the weight of realization falling on him, “Wait, our video?” 

“Yes! Our video!” You were yelling at this point, not at him but at the situation and thankfully he understood that. 

“Okay, okay. We’ll- Hang on my manager is calling. Probably to tell me about it. I’ll be home in five minutes. I love you.” He signed off your call quickly before hanging up without giving you the chance to respond. 

While you waited for him to get there, you spiraled down the rabbit hole that was the tabloids and social media. Your phone buzzed off the charts as everyone from your sister to Helena Bonham Carter called you to ask if you were okay. Of course, you weren’t. But it was one phone call from a former college roommate, Sheila, had really gotten your blood boiling. 

“It’s okay! If anything, this is just going to make you more famous! Look at all the other celebs who’ve had their sex tapes leaked. They’re like, super famous.” Sheila sounded more excited than she should have, which certainly made you question her motives behind calling you in the first place. Since marrying Johnny, you’d had the unfortunate displeasure of having to cut a few people off from your past who had randomly called you up after years of little to no contact, asking more favors in the movie industry, money, or even just for the clout of saying they knew you. There really was such a downside to this whole marrying famous person thing that nobody ever really talked about - not that you would take it back, though, of course. You loved Johnny more than anything. 

Still, when the words left her mouth, you felt a flash of anger swell up, “Contrary to what a lot of people might believe, being famous actually kind of sucks,” You spat angrily, “And call me crazy, but I don’t exactly feel thrilled at knowing the whole world as access to a video of my naked ass!” 

“At least it’s a good naked ass, though! Your boobs are looking pretty good too. Did you get them done?” She asked bluntly, still not a care to be heard in her voice. You swore you could almost detect a fake valley girl accent too. 

Your mouth dropped open in disbelief at the words coming from her voice, “I can’t believe you.” Without giving her a chance to respond, you clicked the off button before flipping her off through the screen, though you knew she couldn’t see it. The audacity of some people. 

The front door swung open, drawing your attention as Johnny hurried into the house, setting his bag down by the front door. “How bad is it?” You asked, knowing his manager must have told him the full extent. 

“Do you want the truth?” Johnny saw as panic and humiliation swept across your face, knowing that perhaps that wasn’t the best way to break it to you that it was pretty bad. He stepped forward and wrapped you in his arms, “I told Harrison to take ‘em down. Whenever he found one, he said he’d get it deleted. 

You sighed defeatedly, “That doesn’t stop the fact that a bunch of people already saw it.” Your arms wrapped around Johnny’s torso and you allowed your head to fall against his chest, trying to calm yourself with his scent- exotic spicy cologne and old books. 

His large hand came to stroke through your hair, “That is true,” He conceded with a heavy breath, “But, it also means that fewer and fewer people will continue to see it.” There was a pause in which neither of you said anything, only took a few minutes to hold onto each other while you thought about the future now, “Y’know, I can’t help but feel like this is partly my fault. I shouldn’t have asked to make the video. I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

You shook your head in disagreement, “I agreed to do it too. It’s on both of us. In retrospect, we should have put it on an actual VHS tape or something that would be more difficult to get into the tabloid’s hands.” 

You were tired of this - of this constant running from the vultures that prayed off your every misstep just to turn them against you and create headlining stories. You felt like you couldn’t even breathe without a scandal unless the media allowed it. You were just grateful that you happened to marry one of the most private actors in Hollywood, knowing that whatever pressure you felt, more public figures like Angelina Jolie had it much worse. Still, something inside you stirred, a decision that you’d stop living in fear. 

Johnny pulled back and gave you that infamous cocked eyebrow look of wonder, one that you’d mostly seen him use as Jack Sparrow. Little did everyone know, it was a gesture he’d picked up on doing in real life as well. “Do we even have a VHS player anymore?” 

You chuckled and buried your head back into his white shirt, “I don’t even know. I feel like there must be one laying around somewhere. And if not, I’ll go down to a pawn shop and pick one up just for you to use while filming.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean,” You leaned back, pulling on his shirt to bring him down closer to your level, “That if we’re going to be making you another one of these videos, it’s gonna be on something that stays only between us.” 

Your husband nearly choked on air, “Another one? After what just happened?” 

“Only if you want to and only if it stays on something physical like a CD or VHS that we can mutually agree to burn and destroy if anything happens.” You giggled and Johnny joined in with a low chuckle as well, “But… the video was leaked. We knew that was a risk when we made it. But, y’know what? I’m tired of living in fear of the paparazzi and public. They’ve already seen us fuck. There’s not much else we’ve got to lose.” 

His dark eyes flashed with mischief before he took off in a light jog down the hall without a word. You followed him, “Where are you going?” You giggled, turning the corner to find him digging through your little Harry Potter closet under the stairs. 

When he stood up, he shook his long hair out of his eyes messily and held up an old tape recorder that had to be at least twenty years old. Johnny swayed towards you, jokingly flirtatious as he spoke, “Well, Mrs. Depp, it would seem that you’re in luck because your husband likes to hoard old shit.” 

The grey and black machine seemed to stare at you and some hesitation set in again but then you remembered what you’d said: I’m tired of living in fear… there’s not much else we’ve got to lose. 

Johnny flicked open the side compartment and his eyes opened in surprise to find a tape still in there. He lifted it from the slide and looked it over, shocked to see that it appeared to be an unused blank tape, “Well, well, looks like we’re in luck.” 

Biting your lip, you looked up at him with those eyes before grabbing his hand and running upstairs to your bedroom, dragging him along. “The world thinks they’ve seen us fuck. They only got a preview.” 

“Only a preview? I thought we went pretty hard last time?” He countered with a low challenging laugh.

You turned around at the top of the stairs, one hand on the banister as you turned to face him. His body collided with yours, his hand reaching around the small of your back to steady the two of you and you arched your body into his, being sure to brush your body against his groin, “Oh, Johnny… we’re both throwing our backs out tonight.” 

[gogglor]

Cap-Ironman RecWeek: Tropey Tuesday

Over the past year my pandemic brain decided it would produce happy chemicals exclusively by reading and writing Stony fanfiction. On the advice of counsel, I decided to take my happy chemicals where I could get’em. And the result is that I’ve had the tremendous pleasure of reading some absolutely incredible works of art by some immensely talented people. And since it’s @cap-ironman RecWeek, I figured this is as good of an excuse as any to make some posts recommending my favs (and try to keep self-recs to a minimum, but I’m only human).

I skipped Multiverse Monday since I’m still not well-versed enough in the multiverse to talk about it with any kind of recommendational authority, but today is Tropey Tuesday, and so I would like to share some fics from my all-time-favorite, major-reason-I-bother-with-the-MCU, gets-me-every-time trope:

Found Family

And so, without further ado, here are some Found Family Stony fics that I simply adore.

Avengers Family Ficlets

Author: elwenyere

Word Count: 8,548

Summary: “You built a neural network that analyzes squash,” Bruce said flatly, “and you attached it to a laser.” A collection of short stories set in the extended Domestic Avengers Universe.

Why You Should Read It:

Thing number one that you should understand about me is that I would be perfectly happy with a story about body-less entities making funny quips at each other in  a featureless void, and anything else is just a bonus. Elwenyere’s stories consistently get the banter down so unbelievably, ridiculously well that when you find out they also have heart, creativity, well-developed characters, and so much damn feeling in them, it feels like an embarrassment of riches.

Go read all of their stuff, please, but this one’s a great place to start. It’s got everything you could possibly want in a fic: over-competitive pumpkin carving, emotional hospital confessions, Christmas decorations that come to life and attack people, crab dip, Steve Rogers accidentally ruining Thanksgiving through the sheer power of his own snark, and most importantly, a bunch of human disasters that somehow make a beautiful family together.

Executive Party

Author: copperbadge

Word Count: 3,228

Summary: Tony's terrible December is suddenly looking up.

Why You Should Read It:

Copperbadge is another author where you should read everything they’ve put out there. They’ve got this phenomenally creative mind that manages to consistently draw out deeply human stories that can kinda catch you off-guard in the places they find touching moments. You might’ve heard of their very popular Foodieverse, which is an incredibly creative AU with the Avengers in the food service industry, but this is the one I come to whenever I’m looking to indulge in my favorite trope.

Tony’s looking forward to spending the night before SI breaks for Christmas doing paperwork. Steve gets the Avengers to have an impromptu video game Christmas Party in his office instead. Cb’s also got a gift for banter (I have a type when it comes to writers, ok?), and the little details like Steve’s carnage record on GTA, Natasha’s Russian appreciation for country music, and Steve’s SHIELD break-up mixtape make it just a goddamn delight to read.

patchwork people

Author: itsAllAvengers

Word Count: 28,247

Summary: It was a pretty well-known fact that Tony Stark had control issues.It was far less well-known why, though.

CW: Past abuse and non-con (not by main pairing)

Why You Should Read It:

If you’re the kind of person who regularly thinks to themself “You know what Tony Stark needs? More trauma,” then this is the fic  for you.

Tony’s got some serious trust issues and PTSD thanks to some shitty, shitty exes. This is the story about how Tony learns to trust again, Avenger by Avenger, in his new Found Family. Come for the Whump, stay for the found family insomnia infomercial parties and Steve Rogers getting arrested for enacting some sweet, sweet karmic justice.

And now we get into a sub-genre of Found Family that is also a huge weakness of mine: Tony thinks he’s only tolerated instead of wanted, and his found family convinces him otherwise.

Some Things Shouldn’t Be a Chore

Author: scifigrl47

Word Count: 22,187

Summary: Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound.  The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Why You Should Read It:

Honestly it feels a bit like cheating to recommend the first work in scifigrl47′s tremendously popular Toasterverse, since I’m pretty sure a lot of people who don’t even like or regularly read fanfiction have liked this one, even indirectly. Sci is so ludicrously good at building an engaging, creative, character-driven universe that this series is responsible for most of the fanon you know and love about MCU fanfics. Tony’s bot Butterfingers? Sci made him up for this story. Thor’s love of Pop Tarts? Clint the vent goblin? All sci. They’re just that damn good at world-building.

In this fic, the Avengers try out a chore chart. Hilarity and feels ensue. I don’t want to say anymore and risk spoiling it because if you’ve managed to get far enough in Stony fanfiction to read this post and haven’t yet read the Toasterverse, I want to keep the experience pristine for you to enjoy. Please read this. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll reserve a hypothetical genie wish to make this series the actually canon MCU (God knows I have).

Hold the Things You Wanna Say

Author: SailorChibi

Word Count: 6,316

Summary: Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he's overworked and exhausted. That's okay. He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that's all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he'll never get it and that's okay. Really. What's not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always. This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

CW: Abuse, Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting

Why You Should Read It:

SailorChibi’s one of those authors I’ve been meaning to get around to reading all their stuff for, but it’s tricky when you have a short attention span and an author that is just so damn prolific. They’re a multi-fandom maven consistently putting out some really great stuff, and they’re absolutely worth checking out.

This story’s a real yank on the heartstrings, and as someone who can really identify with Tony’s fear of failing the people he cares about, the point in the story where he reaches his low is just unbelievably poignant. But the warmth and the wholesomeness of the end made my heart grow three sizes the day I read it. And the love that all these idiots have for each other is just so damn palpable in this story, it damn near made me cry.

Irreplaceable

Author: Orphan Account :(

Word Count: 4,952

Summary: There are obvious downsides to being the only member of the Avengers who is not a super soldier, a god, or a super assassin, and does not Hulk out when aggravated. The most obvious one is that when villains want bait, they've got a go-to guy. Tony already knew Mondays sucked. He did not need his opinion reinforced this way.

Why You Should Read It:

It’s such a bummer I can’t plunder this author’s other works because I love this one so much!

Tony gets kidnapped and says a lot of self-deprecating things that, unbeknownst to him, are projected on a live feed to the Avengers. They rescue him and have some opinions about how easily he could be replaced. This story’s got Tony hiding from feelings like an idiot, Steve manually carrying Tony somewhere the Avengers can say nice things about him, and a lot of feels.

That’s it for today! Tune in tomorrow for some AU recs!

[insomniamamma]

Late Bloomers: Ezra x F! Reader w/Cee

A/n: Set in the "Liminal" AU in which Ezra becomes his niece, Cee's legal guardian after a car accident kills his brother, Damon, and costs him his arm. Set sometime between "Ferris  Wheels Are For Old People" and "Surf City Goodness." Reader is Ezra's neighbor. Established relationship (sort of, IDK how to tag what they are). For @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Not a whole lot. Kissing. Touching. A little spicier than I usually go, which isn't saying whole lot. A little language.  Cee, as usual, needs her own warning. Set during the pandemic shut down. Mentions of covid. Also, I feel like 'The Apple' needs it's own warning. I'll link the trailer at the end.

           "You sure you don't want to come with us, Birdie?" Cee sits at their scarred kitchen table, her laptop, textbooks and a pile of papers around her. She frowns.           "I gotta study," she says, "Ms Stewart is really serious about this quiz. She's not grading on a curve this time." Ezra narrows his eyes.           "You have never spent a Saturday night studying in your life," he says. Cee frowns up at him.           "You've never been in Ms. Stewart's physics class," says Cee, "She's a hard ass. Anyway, I'm still pulling an 'A' in her class, but I don't want to fuck up my average."           "Jesus, Cee," Ezra mutters, and you have to smile. She rolls her eyes.           "I know, I know--"           "Don't say 'fuck' at school," they say in unison.           "They're doing double features all summer," says Cee, "I can miss one. I've seen all these movies anyway." She smirks, "I want to hear what you think of 'The Apple.'" Ezra rummages around for his keys and Cee drops you the most exaggerated wink you've ever seen in your life.           "Have fun, guys," she says.

         Covid has nuked most of the things you used to do for fun, restaurants and shows, hell, even the libraries are closed. The only business in town that's thriving is the Star-City Drive In. There haven't been any big studio releases in a while, so they've been doing Fright Night Fridays and Sci-Fi Saturdays. Tonight's double feature is Flash Gordon and The Apple.          "They've got this weird way of operating the concession stand now," says Ezra, "Cause of the pandemic. You've gotta text them your order and I guess they bring it out to you--" Ezra's gotten pretty good at working his phone one-handed, but you can see the frustration clouding his face.          "Let me," you say, loading the menu onto your phone, "Let's get a big popcorn and share it. You okay with the fake butter?"          "Of course I'm okay with the fake butter, what kind of monster do you take me for?"          "How about candy?" You ask, scrolling through, "It's the usual suspects."          "Sno-caps," he says, "How about you?"          "I'm thinking Milk Duds," you say.          "Now that is an excellent way to lose a filling, Sunshine."          "Popcorn and Milk Duds together? Worth the risk," you say and text your order off to the concession stand. It's not quite dark yet, a reel of movie trivia that no one cares about shines ghost pale on the screen. Ez has got the radio tuned to pick up the sound, but there's not much to listen to yet so it's turned down low, background noise with the cicadas and birdsong. The big screen backs up against a farmer's field run wild and a dark stand of trees.          "Switch places with me," says Ezra, and gets out of the truck. He comes around to your side and opens the door for you.          "Why?"          "Indulge me," says Ezra, so you do as he asks and settle in to the driver's side. Ezra's truck has bench seats with vinyl that creaks and cushions that hiss slightly as you move around. There's a tap at the window and you hook your mask over your ears and crank it down, popcorn and candy and you already payed with your phone, but press some rumpled bills into their gloved hands.          "Why'd you want to switch places?" You ask around a mouthful of popcorn.          "Shhh," says Ezra, "The movie's starting."

         Flash Gordon is just as fun as you remember it being, majestic in its absurdity, a big love letter to all the terrible pulp sci-fi movies that came before, the two of you watch and snark and laugh and sing "Aaa-ahhh" whenever someone says Flash's name. We owe it to Queen, you say, and Ezra smiles big the way he does when something's caught him off guard, the way that crinkles his eyes and reveals his dimples, indeed we do. We owe it to Freddie Mercury.          At some point his arm finds it's way around your shoulders and you lean into him.          "So this is why you wanted to switch spots," you murmur. He raises his prosthetic arm, flickering movie light shining on the double hook at the end.          "Can't exactly get handsy with Mr. Claw, now can I?" He grins, "These hooks might be a little chilly."          "And pokey," you say, demonstrating with a dig to his ribs. The end credits are rolling.          "You ever seen this next movie?"          "The Apple?" He says, "No. Some sort of cult-movie thing. Cee made me promise not to IMDB it. She said I should go in with an open mind."          "Oh boy," you laugh.          "Right? Cee's tastes are all over the place. I suspect this will be either amazing  or terrible on a scale that recalibrates our internal gauge of what terrible is."          "You know she set us up, right?"          "Yeah," says Ezra, "Little Bird fancies herself quite the matchmaker."          "She winked at me." Ezra dimples.          "Did she now?"          "She looked like a cartoon," you laugh, "About as subtle as a ton of bricks." Ezra brays laughter and leans against you, squeezes you closer to him at the same time. He is beautiful when he laughs, all dimples and teeth eyes screwed shut in mirth and you take this opportunity to press a kiss against that tender place on his jaw where his beard refuses to grow. Ezra freezes, you feel his body go rigid against yours, and your first thought is to apologize, to pull back, and then he reaches for you, his broad, calloused palm cradling your face, drawing you to him, presses his lips to yours, a soft, reverent kiss that he does not fully withdraw from, his hand now resting on the nape of your neck, forehead pressed to yours, somehow more intimate than a kiss, this closeness, breathing each others exhalations, leaning against each other.          "Cee's not wrong," you say, "We're good together."          "We are, aren't we?" He gives your nape a gentle squeeze, and lets you go. The opening titles of The Apple flicker on screen and the music starts up.

         "Oh, Ezra, what the fuck did we just watch?"          "I don't know if 'watch' is the right word, Sunshine, we did not 'watch' The Apple. The Apple happened to us."          "I don't think I've ever understood Stockholm syndrome until now."          "I have been assaulted," says Ezra, "My civil rights have been violated."          "It's like..." You trail off, "It's like if someone took '1984', 'A Star Is Born' and 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' and put them in a blender. I'm pretty sure this movie violates the Geneva conventions." Ezra laughs and so do you, leaning in to each other, giggles that become kisses, soft at first, but increasingly hungry, laced with need, your arms twine around his shoulders, his hand lingers at your side, toying with the hem of your shirt.          "S'okay, Ez," you say as he nips at your jaw and then your neck, gentle graze of teeth that makes you shiver, "You can touch me." He kisses you deep, his tongue fever-hot against yours, hand sliding up the soft slope of your belly, cupping your breast, and you arch into his touch--          Tap Tap Tap. And there's a bright light shining through the passenger's side window.          "Oh shit," says Ezra. You frantically yank your shirt back down, heat creeping up your neck, your cheeks, your earlobes flaming.          "Movie's over guys," says the shadowed figure behind the flashlight's glare, "Take it someplace else." You open the door to switch places back with Ezra, the overhead light shows him red faced and horrified.          "I'm sorry, I just--"          "Get us out of here, Ez."

         You stare out into the dark past the window, half-moon shining over fields and trees like a lazy eye. You snort laughter.          "What's so funny?"          "We got caught," you say, "We got caught necking at the drive-in like a couple of teenagers."          "You're laughing because we got caught?"          "I'm laughing because I've never made out with anyone at a drive-in, even when I was a teenager, and I'm laughing cause we got caught. After watching that trash-fire of a movie. We got caught making out over the end credits of 'The Apple'. I feel like we deserve some kind of award." You rest your hand on Ezra's leg, can just pick his smile in the dim lights from the dash. Ezra chuckles.          "I never made out with anyone at the drive in before tonight either," says Ezra.          "Bullshit," you say, and give him a good-natured poke.          "It's true," he says, "For one, I didn't have access to a car. I would've had to borrow Ma's car, and there was no way that was ever going to happen. Also, I was not what the girls back then referred to as 'dating material'. Skinny as a rake with a mouthful of braces and an obvious birthmark? I was like a puppy trying to grow into it's ears and feet, a late bloomer if you will." You move your hand higher up along his thigh and give him a squeeze.          "Better late than never."          "Indeed."

Flash Gordon Trailer

The Apple Trailer

[binniedeactivated]

mentality. || yeongyu 💦

╰─▸🖤❝ @[𝒃𝒖𝒈𝒔𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈.. ] ✎𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒋𝒖𝒏 𝒙 𝒃𝒆𝒐𝒎𝒈𝒚𝒖 ✎ 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕, 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆¡ ✎ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕; 1.5𝒌 [@𝒃𝒖𝒈𝒔𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆] 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇...

┌  in which the priest’s son is ordered to give private religious lessons in exchange for the neighborhood boy’s salvation.   ┘

→ tw:// mockery of religion, offensive language, smut - read at your own risk

“what’s with the pink shirt?”. yeonjun’s father immediately asks, his eye snagging onto the bright fabric like glue. yeonjun toyed with the hem of his sweater, “what? it’s just a sweater”. he replies thinking nothing of it. he grasped his backpack off of the hang rack. his father stares at the dainty color in discontent. 

“you look gay. go put on another sweater”. 

“dad are you serious? I’m going to be late for the tutoring session. I can assure you that I’m not gay. pink is just a color”. 

“you know you aren’t gay but what about everyone else? some man is going to look at you and surely think the opposite”. 

“and why should I care about what they think?”. 

“because you’re my son and I’d rather not raise a bunch of homosexuals”. he blankly responds. he glares at his second born son who jogs down the stares behind yeonjun tiredly rubbing his eyes and shifting his disheveled hair. 

“take your brother soobin for example. see? even in the house he’s wearing something manly. a good ole t shirt and sweatpants”. 

“what are you guys on about?”. soobin questions underneath his breath. yeonjun rolls his eyes while watching soobin stumble into the kitchen and raid the cabinets to satisfy his growling stomach. 

“dad thinks I’m gay because I’m wearing a pink sweater”. 

“soobin won’t you tell your brother there are more colors to wear other than this girly color he has on?”.

soobin sighs. conversations like this was almost second nature at this point, especially being the priest’s son. he was well aware that his father was not only strictly religious but he was also strictly a homophobe. soobin stuffs a cookie in his mouth too tired and hungry to pick a side in their argument. he just repeated his father’s words. 

“yeonjun hyung there are more colors to wear other than the girly color you have on”. 

he grumbles before exiting to the living room. his father folds his arms and gives yeonjun a look as if to say, ‘i told you so’. yeonjun stared at him and huffed his breath. he knew there was now way around it so he just marched himself back up the stairs and changed into a black sweater instead. he stopped by the bathroom mirror to fix his hair up a bit after seeing how messed up it gotten from his quick change. he made sure his blonde strands were parted perfectly to the left. 

“and who the hell are you trying to look so good for?”. taehyun smirks before walking into the bathroom behind him. taehyun was the youngest. the baby of them all. also the most misbehaved one of them all, but you didn’t hear that from yeonjun. 

“shut up and take your piss”. yeonjun replies with a quick smack upside his brother’s head before he shuts the door behind himself. he rushed down the staircase and announced that he was leaving. he quickly grabs his backpack again and close the front door in one swift movement in hopes of avoiding another interrogation by his father. 

yeonjun wasn’t a stranger to beomgyu’s home. in fact he’s already been there a few times and his parents knew him very well, which is why it almost took nothing for them to open the door for him each time. being the priest’s son made them think that he was the best kid ever and that beomgyu needed to take notes from such an example. 

like always, yeonjun took his shoes off beside beomgyu’s bedroom door and knocked promptly. 

“who is it?”. 

“yeonjun”. he responds, rolling his eyes. who else would be coming at this time of day? 

with a few quick shuffles beomgyu opens the door to his room inviting yeonjun in. it reeked of this tropical scented perfume. it actually smelled nice to yeonjun, but it would smell even nicer if beomgyu was a girl of course. 

I mean seriously, what kind of teenaged boy wore perfume?

yeonjun shrugs off the scent and sits on beomgyu’s bed. his dad made it his mission to redeem anyone and everyone from their sins and he ordered his sons to do the same. only--the sin they were being redeemed from were never specified. 

yeonjun draws out his pencils and notebooks from the last time they met. he clicked his pen a few times and then scribbles on his paper making sure it worked perfectly. beomgyu watches intently from the corner of the room, his hands folded behind his back. he adored yeonjun. 

yes, adored. 

he thought the older was so gorgeous. he was so witty and funny and he was so smart. his voice was smooth and low when he talked and god his smile was to die for. he most importantly loved how small he was in comparison to yeonjun. 

meaning that yeonjun could crush or throw him whenever he wanted and that idea alone made beomgyu’s dick twitch in his pants. 

“hyung before we start is it okay if I show you something?”. 

yeonjun rolls his eyes and exhales annoyingly. “beomgyu if you think you’re about to get a kiss out of me you’ve lost your damn mind. that shit is gay I already told you”.

beomgyu bites the inside of his cheek and frowns, “no it’s something different this time”. 

“beomgyu--”. 

“please hyung?”. beomgyu whines sweetly. yeonjun shakes his head in frustration, “whatever-fine. make it quick because you’re running behind on these lessons”. 

“you have to close your eyes”. beomgyu orders. yeonjun covers his eyes with his hand. “fine. they’re closed”. 

unbeknownst to jun, beomgyu strips himself of his trousers and slips on his pretty pink pleated skirt with his white high knee socks to match. he straps and pink heart shaped choker onto his neck and pulls his baby blue v-neck sweater over his head and tuck the edges in carefully. he fixes his crinkled chestnut colored hair. he nervously folds his hands, he hoped yeonjun liked it. 

“you can look now hyung”. he orders once more. yeonjun’s eyes flutter open at the sight of beomgyu’s skirt steadily spilling over his slim milky thighs. his sweater hung gorgeously to the side displaying his collarbone and choker. it didn’t help that the sun’s rays slipped through his window, glowing his frame that much more. he looked like an angel almost. 

wait--what the fuck is yeonjun saying? 

“beomgyu what the hell is that?”. he says instead. 

“I want to show you my new outfit. my parents would kill me if they ever saw me in this”. beomgyu states while looking down fiddling with the pleats. 

“you know that gay scale I was telling you about? yeah. this is at like 100% right now”. 

beomgyu sat himself on the bed across from yeonjun. “I’m happy when I dress like this. you don’t think it’s pretty?”. 

“you can’t call yourself pretty. you’re a boy. that word is an adjective for girls and women”. 

beomgyu bit his upper lip shamefully. his eyes dart down. he sighs and makes another move. he climbs onto yeonjun’s lap with his thighs on either side of yeonjun’s legs. he wraps his arms around his neck and sits his face only inches apart from the older’s. 

oddly enough, yeonjun could feel his heart began to pound. 

“what can I do to be pretty to you, hyung?”. beomgyu questions with his whole heart. his coffee colored eyes bore in his with desire, need, and lust. yeonjun took a couple of swift glances at the boy’s plush pink lips. 

no--look away yeonjun. what are you doing?

“you can start by getting off my lap”. yeonjun hisses, but beomgyu knew he didn’t mean it. he adjusted himself, letting his cock get good rub on yeonjun’s thigh. feeling this, yeonjun’s eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. 

“kiss me hyung”. beomgyu begs, ghosting his lips over the older male’s. yeonjun’s breathing hitched while beomgyu leans in and kisses him anyway. the both of their lips danced in perfect sync and parted whenever their lungs begged for air. 

beomgyu takes yeonjun’s wrists and slides them up his thighs and yeonjun mindlessly allows his hands to roam gyu’s inner thighs. he could feel gyu’s lengthy thick cock twitch against his hand. beomgyu pushes yeonjun’s chest down onto the mattress, now on top of him and relishing the way he could easily grind his hips against yeonjun’s clothed cock for more friction. 

yeonjun felt more than ashamed of himself when he felt his dick grow beneath him. he couldn’t believe how turned on he was from this. he wasn’t gay--no this didn’t make him gay. beomgyu was dressed like a girl after all.

“beomgyu get off of me we have to stop”. yeonjun breathes. beomgyu slides his tongue along yeonjun’s lips and give them a chaste kiss. “mmm. but I want to suck your dick. it’s so hard beneath me”. beomgyu smirks and reaches back to palm it. yeonjun winces at his touch. 

beomgyu glides down planting sloppy kisses along yeonjun’s happy trail before sliding his pants down. his dick sprung free and slapped against his stomach. bright red and oozing precum. gyu teasingly gave the boy a couple of cat licks towards his tip. the feeling of gyu’s wet tongue against his needy cock was exactly what yeonjun wanted. 

it isn’t what he wanted--hell no--because he wasn’t gay. 

he wasn’t gay. 

right?

“you should see the way your dick jumps when I do this”. 

yeonjun glares down and sits on his elbows, “beomgyu I don’t think we should be doing this. just get up I promise I won’t tell anyone about it”. he utters in distress. 

beomgyu takes his lips and kiss the tip before letting his disappear between his lips. his teeth lightly grazed it but gyu was sure to tuck them away, refusing to let yeonjun see the animalistic side of him when it was there first time doing anything sexual. 

his tight warm mouth coddled yeonjun’s cock in the most delicious way. even as he worked his way down yeonjun relished the way it filled his cheeks until he choked. and when he did, he came back up with teary eyes and puckered drooling lips full of precum and saliva. the squelching noises of beomgyu’s mouth made yeonjun’s heart pound. he drops his head back between his shoulders and closes his eyes in bliss. 

“fuck beomgyu”. he groans and it made beomgyu excited. he’d been waiting for this moment. waiting for the time he could touch and suck yeonjun as much as he wanted. waiting for when he could make yeonjun moan for him and him only.

beomgyu elicits soft dainty moans while his mouth was filled with yeonjun’s cock. he uses a hand to stroke the remaining portions of his dick and repeatedly slobs over the throbbing tip. not to mention his back was arched perfectly in the air, displaying the skirt that didn’t look as ugly as yeonjun portrayed it to be. 

yeonjun hips began to twitch into the younger’s mouth. he reaches down to grab beomgyu’s soft locks as his eyes rolled to the back of his head once more. “ffuck is it supposed to feel this good?”. he asks honestly. 

beomgyu grasps the base with one hand and covers his tips with another, he lets his mouth wrap around the shaft of his dick and hungrily licks and sucks up and down continuously. the sensation felt like a punch in the stomach to jun who wasn’t used to it. he doubles over and bites his lips, tugging at beomgyu’s roots harder.

the wet sounds of beomgyu’s mouth and tongue bounced off his bedroom walls and yeonjun thought he was going to lose his mind if beomgyu didn’t stop. his dick throbbed harshly between the younger’s lips. “o-okay beomgyu you can stop now”. yeonjun exhales with breathing becoming shaky. an overwhelming feeling was washing over him euphorically. beomgyu continues bobbing his head against his dick making sure he captured every spot. 

“b-beomgyu I said you can stop”. yeonjun warns again with his hips stuttering into his mouth. “I want to see you cum”. beomgyu muses, stroking his dick one last time with his hand before yeonjun’s hot liquids were darting everywhere. 

he can’t believe he just did that. what the fuck?

he panicked, “beomgyu if you tell anyone I’ll kill you”.

[twilightofthe]

So...about that Obitine Anidala rant. Also, you said something about how Sidious and Obi-Wan are foils. I would love it if you elaborate. (Also, I love your blog.)

Awwwww thank you anon!  I just be yelling on here!

*wheezes* okie doke!  Tho I stress that this won’t exactly be a rant because I adore Obitine and Anidala and rant kinda implies aggression towards them, this is more of just a long-ass ramble because while I love them, I don’t always love the way canon portrays them in the narrative, particularly in relationship to each other, because I often do not feel that what the show is trying to push us to think about them is accurate to how they actually act and come across.  Notably, the show attempts to draw comparisons to the two relationships that really don’t exist below surface level similarities.  Again, these are my own personal opinions, and in fact, I welcome discussion!  I truly do!  Please politely debate me on this if you disagree!

(god dammit it got long again, so long I’ll actually put ur Sidious and Obi Wan as foils part in a separate post)

I’ll get to why exactly the show compares the relationships very strangely in a moment, but first we gotta explore the reason why it does this in the first place, which is that the Clone Wars show has decided to make Obi Wan and Anakin narrative foils to one another.  Narrative foils, by the literary definition, are two characters that contrast one another.  They don’t have to be the protagonist and the antagonist, these characters can be on the same side, basically the thing is that they have “opposite” personalities where if one character is hot, the other is cold, if one character chooses to go right, the other will go left.  It’s usually used to show one character’s qualities as more favorable for the situation as opposed to anyone else’s.

TCW does this whenever they possibly can with Anakin and Obi Wan.  I get its reasoning behind it.  I do.  The reasoning is that while Anakin is supposed to be a main character, he makes questionable decisions quite often and for the kiddies watching, those decisions must be seen as Bad even if the hero does it, so they have Obi Wan, the unquestionable good guy, encounter the exact same scenarios Anakin makes his questionable decisions in, and then has Obi Wan make the Right(TM) decision to teach the kids a valuable lesson.  They turn Obi Wan into the voice of reason for the entire show, which turns basically almost everything Obi Wan and Anakin do into a constant competition in the narrative in a way the movies do not do (and I’ll get to the movies later).  I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, making them foils, but it’s definitely more of a show-only thing and it does it quite, quite often.

So yeah, TCW likes to compare Obi Wan and Anakin to the point that sometimes they try and use Obi Wan to diminish Anakin’s genuine trauma and struggles by going “well why didn’t you do it like THIS?” and I think that writing parallel plotlines for the purpose of shaming/criticism is kinda ://////, but that’s another rant for another day that again, if y’all wanna hear about, lmk

Anyway, the need to compare them absolutely made its way into their romantic relationships as well, as they acknowledge the similarities in the show, and Filoni and the crew explicitly compare the two relationships in interviews.

Basically my problem with how they try and draw said parallels can be boiled down to one quote by Filoni that a cursory Google search could not find but I know exists so y’all can take my word or not, that went along the lines of “Obi Wan and Satine are like Anakin and Padmé but better because they know how to stay unattached and let each other go.  They’re a success story.”  I disagreed with this quote so much it inspired me to write a whole-ass fic about it (Mutuals update: yes, it is coming soon, Darth Maul is just himself and therefore an utter pain in the ass to do a POV on and is fighting me like the bitchass he is)

My thesis that I will be arguing today is that while TCW tried to create Obitine as an Anidala parallel, they’re really not similar in the way the writers think they are.  Obitine is not a success story to Anidala, they’re a goddamn tragedy too; the real parallel to Anidala is that Obitine also ended in death and tears despite making all the “right” decisions instead of all the “wrong” ones, and that is what is sad about them.

Like, on the surface level?  Yeah, the crew-intended parallels are there.  A fancy politician and a Jedi get together after the Jedi is assigned as the politician’s bodyguard.  The first time they see each other in over a decade the guy’s first words are basically “damn girl you’re still hot”, there is Conflict(TM) and the choice to try and be together or stay yearningly apart because they are Forbidden(TM) to be together, and ultimately a Sith Lord fucks them both over because he’s obsessed with the Jedi and uses Politician Lady to his advantage, finds and exploits a vulnerability of hers, destroys her life’s work, and then lets her die to make Jedi Man sad.  The difference is all that one pair said “yeah we aren’t gonna break the rules to be together” and the other said “fuck it yeah we are, let’s do this”

But beneath all of that, they real similarities are different and not at all focused on by the narrative.  Obi Wan and Anakin are extremely different people, as are Padmé and Satine, so their relationship dynamics together will not be the same.  You want to try and compare Obi Wan and Anakin and then compare Satine and Padmé like the crew attempts to, and you can’t, they have the same job but not nearly the same life.  Namely, the funny coincidence is that Obi Wan and Padmé are much more similar in personality, while Anakin and Satine are also much more similar in personality, so the first time they meet again, it’s both Anakin and Satine as the one who’s been pining for over a decade and the one more actively pursuing the relationship, while Obi Wan and Padmé who are more like “uh, hi, wow, you’re hot and this is a Problem because I have a job to do pls don’t look at me like that but also I will Cause Problems On Purpose and flirt with you anyway because I can’t help it”.  I get the Corruption TCW ep with Sati and Pads was mostly intended just to help Satine pass the Bechdel test and also show how similar the two leading lady love interests are, but it was a genuinely creative episode that actually ended up showing how much Satine and Padmé compliment each other instead of mirroring each other, much like Obi Wan and Anakin do.

And, onto my next point, despite the character parallels being wrong, the parallels in the relationship are different too.  Like I said, the parallel isn’t that Obi Wan and Satine aren’t attached like Anakin and Padmé are.  The parallel is that Obitine is actively running from what that attachment means instead of embracing it like Anidala is.  The show would argue that since they try to avoid it, that they are able to live without one another, means they aren’t attached like the Jedi define it, but I argue that they definitely still are attached to a degree because they cannot give each other up.  They held torches for each other from a timerange of 15 YEARS.  Yes I know they spent an entire year together at a young and emotionally volatile point in their lives, but I stand that NO ONE is that hung up on their ex for that long unless there is some serious emotions involved.  Anakin was hung up on Padmé for ten years, and that was because Palpatine was constantly bolstering those affections and reminding him of Padmé.  Obes and Sati both-- or at least Satine, the show always makes Obi Wan’s feelings for Satine in return much more vague --held on to their feelings for five years longer without the influence of a Sith Lord.

And the thing is, they know it.  Obi Wan and Satine are both fully aware that they haven’t been able to shake each other off like they should and that that is a Problem, that’s why they’re both a mite venomous with each other beneath the flirting at first, they’re both extremely frustrated with themselves for not being able to get over this thing they have, and frustrated with the other for being there as an active temptation.

And yet, they still are attached to each other.  They try to avoid it, they definitely try, and that’s what makes them different from Anidala, but they are definitely still attached.  You can see it in Obi Wan’s actions in Voyage of Temptation when Merrik is threatening to blow the ship, the way he hesitates in attacking him because that would be “striking an unarmed man”.  Obi Wan Kenobi does not prefer violence, no, but he has never hesitated to cut a bitch before if it’s for the good of the many.  This is the man who stabbed someone with a fork and threatened to eat him just to maintain his cover as a dangerous criminal.  This is the guy who had no problem killing Zam Wessel for information to protect Padmé.  This is a pragmatist who prefers peaceful solutions, but he does not hesitate if he feels it is a justified offense.  But this time, when an entire shipful of people is at risk, Obi Wan hesitates.  Because he doesn’t want to upset Satine.  Because he’s probably thinking on how she told him that if he had killed the last terrorist they encountered, she wouldn’t speak to him, how she had criticized every time he used violence to escape Death Watch before.  He hesitates because he’s putting her happiness, just for a second, over the sake of duty.  Do I think that if Anakin hadn’t shown up to save their moral compasses, Obi Wan would have eventually taken out Merrik?  Absolutely; hell, I honestly think Satine might have done it.

But the matter was, Merrik could have pressed the kill switch any second of Obi Wan’s hesitation, and Obi Wan knew that, and was hesitating anyway.

I am calling this attachment solely because if the situation was reversed, if this was Anakin and Padmé in this situation, with Anakin not taking out a dangerous criminal because he doesn’t want to upset Padmé (lol ignoring the fact that Pads 1000% would have shot that bitch, and even if she didn’t, Anakin would because he is perfectly fine with hurting his loved ones’ feelings if he feels it’ll keep them safe), god, the narrative would have eaten Anakin alive.  

No, I won’t take criticism.  I know how the show handles the Anidala dynamic.  It would have shown Obi Wan popping up to take out the baddie as him doing the right thing and saving the day, and then Anakin would have been shamed for letting his feelings for his wife get in the way of protecting a shipful of people.  THAT would be the Vader foreshadowing, none of this “only a cold-blooded killer” shit, no way would they ever stick that label on Obi Wan.

So yeah, I’m going off of the fact that if that would have been classified as attachment for Anidala-- which, it would, then. it counts for Obitine.

And then Obi Wan and Satine continue to be hung up on each other for the rest of the eps they’re in, Satine saying in words multiple times how much she loves and cares about him and wishes things could be different, and Obi Wan performing it in actions, risking his own neck and political standing to help her even when she’s a fugitive, probably personally putting in to send his own grandpadawan to help her later.  Right up to the time when Satine decides that she is going to call Obi Wan when she is deposed.  Not the Senate.  Not any powerful politician friends.  Not even the Jedi Order or the Council as a whole.  She calls and addresses her distress call to Obi Wan alone.  And Obi Wan, as now revealed to us by TCW S7, defies Council orders and breaks a century old neutrality treaty to try and bust her, a convicted murderer in the eyes of the Republic and Mandalore, out.  He didn’t even know Maul had her.  Just knew she was in danger and came running to her aid.  He risks starting a potential war to come save her.  They acted so in love that Vizsla was able to guess from being around them for like five seconds, and was able to tell Maul exactly who he would need to bait Obi Wan.

That is where the attachment comes from.  It’s the fact that Obi Wan and Satine tried so, so hard to give each other up and do the right thing, but when it came down to it, they couldn’t lose the other one so they put them first when logically they shouldn’t.  And thus, Satine ended up dead.

Now I know most people will argue with me that actually Filoni means that since they didn’t stay together after the year on the run, THAT is what makes them able to give each other up, and also the fact that Obi Wan didn’t go dark side and murder everyone when Satine died.

But I still think that at least the murder front is a fairly low bar to cross, and anyway, that just because they could live without each other didn’t mean they weren’t still attached.  Anakin and Padmé were apart for 10 years and then even after that, they were apart almost constantly during the war.  Just because they could live apart or even past the other’s death didn’t mean they weren’t attached, as they both still had not let the other go mentally and also broke rules to try and ensure the other would not die, even if the rules said they should let it happen.

So yeah, that’s my big theory.  We can’t compare Obitine with Anidala by saying Obitine was a success story, we compare them by acknowledging that both struggled with attachments and letting the other go, but Obitine at least tried to the bitter end to do the right thing while Anidala didn’t really bother, and both ended up with dead women and broken men regardless, and that is the true sad parallel to me.

[voldemorthatesnose96]

RETROUVAILLES

(The final part)

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Big thanks to @dreamy-slytherin for making a drawing for this fic❤️❤️❤️

 Earthlingoddity :

Do you need me to pick you up at the bus stop?

Sterkerdanijzer :

Sander, for a THOUSAND times since yesterday evening, I’m fine LOL! Really, don’t worry too much, please😌

Earthlingoddity :

You sure?

Sterkerdanijzer :

If you asks that again, the deal’s off

Earthlingoddity :

OK OK OK! I’ll shut up now. Careful on your way. Been preparing some croques for you

Sterkerdanijzer :

You’re the best!

Btw...

Uh-oh.

Is he gonna back out now? Is something happen? Did he say something wrong just now?

Sander tries to calm his breath as he types.

Earthlingoddity :

Yes, Robbe?

Sterkerdanijzer :

Do you mind if I bring Peter Pan along again?🥺he’s gonna be good. Pinky promise!

Sander lets out a very relief breath. Why does Robbe always makes him feel on edge, though? He really have it bad.

Earthlingoddity :

Jesus, you scared me for a sec right there. Of course you can

Sterkerdanijzer :

You really are THE BEST, Mr Driesen. See you in 15 mins!!

It takes five minutes for Sander to finally comes back to reality when Robbe called him Mr Driesen. Okay, he’s been calling that many times by many people BUT it feels much different when Robbe did it. Somehow Sander can hear Robbe’s voice through his phone saying that, and... God, he doesn’t know what to think anymore. What a blessing that no human can hear each other’s thoughts; because sure as hell, Robbe will run away once he knows about Sander’s inner thought.

Yesterday, Sander insisted to pick Robbe at his flat because it’s a bit far but Robbe always declined—said that distance never really matters to him whatsoever. Maybe Sander was being overreacted but he already feels protective of this cute yet unpredictable guy, and definitely not the same feeling like he’s being protective of a friend. Yeah, maybe he should tone it down a bit. Robbe’s not a kid, he’s capable of taking care of himself.

Trying to distract himself, Sander is now standing in front of the kitchen counter, staring at the croque he just made few minutes before he sent the text to Robbe. For today, he needs to impress Robbe—from his dish to this safe haven. Sander woke up at five in the morning today after doing a morning yoga routine to calm himself from the nervousness and then tidying his half-messy flat.

“Croques, don’t let me down,” Sander pleads as he lifts the plate. “don’t let my crush down. Please!”

He almost drops the plate when he hears a knock on his door.

Shit!

Okay this is it!

Sander is half-running to the door, taking a deep breath before he holds the knob and opens it. The first thing he sees is Peter Pan excited face; he’s too excited so he literally jumps into Sander’s arms and licks his face.

“Sorry,” Robbe laughs but his tone is definitely not sorry. “he’s being so impatient to meet you.”

“No...” Sander replies in between Peter Pan’s kisses. “problem... at all.”

“Is this the croque you were talking about earlier?”

“Yep!” Sander answers as he puts Peter Pan down, watching his tail shaking left and right and a minute later he’s already out of sight to explore the place.

“Looks good,” Robbe smiles at Sander and the world stops for a second—or at least it feels like for Sander. “can I eat them now? I’m starving.”

Sander clears his throat and force a laugh, “Sure, but I won’t be responsible if you suddenly get a stomachache.”

“I’ll take that risk for you.”

Sander raises his eyebrow. His feet unknowingly takes a step closer—close enough for his hand to graze Robbe’s, but he can’t do it. Yet. So instead, he says, “don’t say something like that.”

Sander thought Robbe will back out, but to his surprise and excitement, he smiles mischievously and says, “or what?”

Sander smirks, “Or I’ll feed you this croque by myself.”

“Please do.”

Excuse me?

What did he just say?

“Go on,” Robbe encourages Sander. “Feed me. I’m waiting.”

Oh, it’s on!

All the way or no way, Driesen.

Without saying another word, Sander grab a piece of his dish and feed it to Robbe who slowly opens his mouth and bites it.

Fucking hell and this infuriating sexual tension!

Sander knows he should look away but he can’t—even when Robbe closes his eyes to savor the food, Sander finds himself more captivated by him. These lips; how does they feel like? How does they taste like? Are they gonna be as soft as silk? As decadent as the most expensive chocolate?

But he must stop. He should stop his thoughts—this kind of thoughts, to be exact or there’ll be an unnecessary trouble.

“Is it good?”

“Divine,” Robbe says, smiling softly but later turns serious. “You okay? Your face look tense.”

Of course, I’m not okay, Robbe! He thought bitterly.

“Yes,” Sander answers in a clipped voice. “Would you like to do it now?”

Robbe is clearly confuse by Sander’s sudden dismissal but doesn’t say anything about it. To be completely honest, his feeling is a bit hurt.

“Okay.”

Sander turns his back to see Robbe’s hurtful face and immediately feels bad, “sorry,” he breathes. “It’s just.. whenever I’m around you, my brain’s stop working.”

“Am I that bad?”

Sander almost laugh, “God, no. You’re far from that. You’re special, Robbe IJzermans.”

Hearing this, Robbe’s blushes hard and quick. This is the very first time he hears someone—not just someone—but Sander Driesen, the coolest guy on YouTube, actually said that he’s special. His heart’s beating really, really fast right now.

“Komaan.” Sander says as he takes Robbe’s hand to his room.

The first thing Robbe sees is a HUGE poster of David Bowie in front of Sander’s bed. It’s so huge that maybe it can be use as a blanket.

“Cool, huh?” Sander chuckles when he notices Robbe’s ‘awe’ expression.

“So cool.”

“You can stare at him all you want later,” Sander says as he sits on the floor and grabs his guitar. “Alle kom, Robbe! Sit beside me.”

Robbe do what he’s been told. Something like the ocean and summer breeze from Sander catches his nose and Robbe finds himself inhaling that scent deeply.

Perfect. Now his heart beats erratically again.

“You ready?” Sander asks, looking straight at Robbe’s eyes.

“I am.”

Sander can feel Robbe’s nervousness and knowing it’s because of his presence can do such thing to his crush, it makes him smile so wide. Before he can stop, his hand touches Robbe’s cheek, “you’ll be fine. Okay?”

Robbe nods. He takes the flower crown from his bag and wears it.

“Cutie,” Sander mumbles softly under his breath before he presses “enter” on his keyboard to start the video.

“Hey everyone, Sander’s here and I’m with someone really special today,” he looks at Robbe whose eyes are as big as a globe because he’s too shock. “Introduce yourself. Go on!”

Robbe blinks fast as he comes back to earth, “uh, yeah! It’s Robbe and I agreed to do a collab with Jack Frost beside me.”

“Jack Frost, huh?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Fair enough,” Sander grins. “What are we gonna do today?”

“Whatever you want.” Robbe answers innocently.

“I have a lot of things on my mind about it BUT we’re gonna do an impromptu song cover for now.”

“What are we gonna sing?” Then Robbe quickly adds. “Oh not Bowie or anything that we particularly love.”

“I’m listening.” Sander says seriously.

“What’s song that’s been on your playlist for awhile, you like but never really sing it out loud?”

Sander immediately replies, “Ben Howard’s song called Promise.”

The big smile Sander adores so much reappears, “I also happened to know that song! Shall we sing it now?”

Just when Robbe is about to sing, Peter Pan suddenly bursts in, quickly finds place on his lap and sleeps. They can’t help but laugh at this marvelous sight.

“Sorry, viewers. This is just my puppy, Peter Pan.”

“And he’s dead tired.” Sander adds, chuckling.

“Anyway, let’s continue. You sing first, Sander!”

The cheerful vibes between them gradually turns much calmer when Sander sings the first chorus.

“And meet me there, bundles of flowers, we wait through the hours of cold...”

Robbe continues.

“Winter shall howls at the wall, tearing down doors of time...”

Both are singing melodiously, much to their surprises because none of them really actually practice or anything. It’s purely ‘in the moment’ situation. Hundreds of comment keeps on coming, saying they look really cute together, etc etc etc. The views rapidly increases from two thousand something to eleven thousand within few minutes.

Robbe admires ardently how Sander plays the guitar in the most calming manner possible. No rush, no hesitation, no doubt—it feels like he was born to hold that instrument. These tattoos, especially the Bowie’s lightning one on Sander’s wrist is making him look even more ethereal. Bleached-blond hair with black clothes and tattoos; Sander Driesen is the perfect example of a sweetest sin that Robbe will gladly accepts.

On the other hand, Sander never truly realises how beautiful Robbe is, now that he’s finally be able to sees his face up close. Everything about him is perfect—too perfect for him. He wonders how it feels like to have their bodies wrap together, with or without clothes. How his fingers slowly but hungrily traces every inch of Robbe’s body.

“Who am I darling, to you? Who am I? Going to tell you stories of mine... who am I?” Sander sings, never breaking the eye contact from Robbe. “Who am I darling, for you? Who am I? Going to be a burden... who am I darling, to you? Who am I?” He continues when his crush is too stunned to say anything.

Fuck it! I don’t care anymore!

Sander puts his guitar aside, places one hand on Robbe’s cheek, and without thinking, without worrying about the fact that thousands of people are watching this live stream, Sander kisses him. He promises to himself that if Robbe gives him the slightest uncomfort, he’ll back down, just like that.

But the greedy monster inside him roars in victory when Robbe’s also leaning closer and deepening the kiss.

After several long moments, or maybe several moons later (okay this is too much but it does feel like it for Sander), both finally breaking the kiss to catch a breath.

Robbe breathes, “Wow, that was...”

“Amazing?”

“Spectacular?”

“Show-stopping?”

“Never the same?”

“Totally unique?”

“Brilliant?”

Sander laughs loud until his nose scrunches, “unbelievable. We just kissed and suddenly mimicked Lady Gaga’s wisdom words? Never been done before.”

Robbe laughs nervously. His lips are chapped, so does Sander’s.

“You do realise that we’re still going live, right?”

“Of course I do and I don’t care,” Sander abruptly turns to camera and says proudly. “mense, I just kissed my crush in front of you all, even the world, and I have no regrets. I’ve been dying to kiss him for months and now I finally got it. And that also concludes today’s video. See you very soon and thanks for watching!”

“I still can’t believe we actually did it.”

Sander gives him a peck, “oh but we just did.”

Robbe smiles shyly, “so, what are gonna do now?”

“Kissing, talking, kissing again, lots of kissing, talking,” Sander smirks. “What about you?”

“Just kiss me now, please.”

Sander kisses Robbe again and again then whispers, “You don’t need to say please, engel.”

Couple hours later

[raguna-blade]

Kinda struck by the realization that the argument that games as media needs it’s...I dunno, citizen kane, it’s big dramatic Games are A real Art Now You gotta take me serious, at least in the kind of weird occasional locations I still encounter it (I’m woefully inept at finding stuff honestly, and I guess maybe I should take the time to correct that because this kinda stuff is my jam. Hm. Thoughts for next week.)

But you know, I think it already exists? This is probably not a dramatic or world shaking argument, probably the precise opposite but this is more for me anyway so there you go.

But yeah, I keep seeing Shadow of the Colossus brought up again and again and again and again as this big huge game that has meaning and quality and art to it. Which, I agree even if I haven’t really finished it properly myself, I’m terrible about finishing most games honestly, but it keeps coming up and it strikes me that the lessons it gives about what you need/want to do if you want to make a game like that are studiously ignored by the big publishers who seem to really WANT to be the guys who make that but seem to consistently fail at it or else actively fuck up and push away the talent that can and does make it.

Like, to pivot slightly for a second, Whatever your overall opinions on Kojima’s works are, I think it’s also undeniable that there’s a startling level of depth in pretty much every game he’s made in that oh so vaunted franchise, and even Death Stranding for all it’s apparent issues (never played, just heard about, saw some analysis and it seems really interesting on one hand but also absolutely not my kind of game on the other) get’s the idea.

or I guess dancing around it a bit, the link between gameplay and the story you tell is super critical and to ignore how the gameplay actually reflects the story you are explicitly trying to tell is something folks seem to constantly fail at.

Like I know ludonarrative dissonance isn’t exactly taken seriously as a phrase, or at least it’s not last i checked, but it is a useful term and it strikes me that the reasons a lot of older games kinda keep coming back up in the conversation is that there is a kind of lack of actually trying to understand this in relation to the tale your telling.

like...hm...I don’t think it’s wrong to say certain genre’s do not work for certain kinds of games right? That seems patently obvious and it’s basically not worth uttering as a statement right?

But I want you to, if you’ve got at least a passing familiarity, imagine that Bayonetta, or Devil May Cry, or any of those super fast paced action style em up type games were played as hard line turn based RPGS. I attack, monster attacks, etc etc etc.

You unquestionably could do it. It wouldn’t even be hard really if you just want a passing appearance of things, but if you wanted to get the feel of the combat to map closely you could do things like say, an action queue of attack, dodge block etcetcetc an it’d play out after you hit the ok right? Or just that turns happened super quick.

But heck even if we went slower as the genre would expect, you could still actually DO DMC/Bayonetta as an RPG and have a perfectly sensible little game.

It’d also fail utterly to capture Dante or Bayonetta’s personality. Oh, you could have them do the same general feats and actions in story, but the fact that it’s turn based by itself instantly and irrevocably fails to capture their personalities correctly or at least the more surface level aspects that they want to project (and I think, for the both of them, the surface level that they project is keenly part of the draw because not even a paint layer underneath they both start to show marvelous depth for the action heavy characters they are)

Like yeah you can get across their risk taking showy personalities with pure text. Of course you can. But it’s a very different beast from playing as the person who decides, as an example from my history of play, exclusively jet’s across the world by launching themselves sword first screaming stinger.

Now I ain’t exactly gonna blame the actual developers here. I’ve little doubt in my mind that they’ve thought on this and deeper and better than I have because you know it’s their job and they’re experienced and they want to make games and all that. It’s probably more a publisher problem.

But it does strike me that there are a number of games with fairly big names that seem to not quite get it despite this being an example from going on close to two decades now. Certainly, whenever I attempt to dive into the so called triple A space I’m left with a certain feeling of emptiness because they don’t quite deliver on the story front in the way I think games can and should but...

I dunno. Maybe i’m just reiterating stuff already discussed elsewhere and my big personal revelation is just like “Ah Babby’s first game think” though I don’t think i’m quite THAT bad off. If by chance anyone has some good resources on stuff like this, please do point me to them.

[kweebtrash]

Alive (M)

Messy Chapter 5

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (Lucas, Yuta)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs/description of tripping , alcohol, sexual assault (not in explicit detail; in total about 5 sentences), toxic “relationships”, “controlling behavior” (Non consensual), physical/emotional abuse, physiological self harm/unhealthy coping mechanisms ,severe depression, anxiety, anger issues, minimal violence, 

Features: Two full sex scenes/1 mini scene, Threesomes (MFF), eating out/blowjobs, fingering, rough sex, choking, a hint of daddy kink, hair pulling, biting/scratching, unprotected sex, controlling dynamics (consensual), overstimulation, edging, a smidge of bdsm dynamics and toy use, and of course not being able to make up your damn mind about your feelings.

Word Count: around 16k

A/N: So this is the first time I’ve ever written anything as serious as this. And it’s super angsty and dark and there’s a lot going on. I hope everyone still enjoys it as much as the other chapters. I felt like it was important enough to write about this and the consequences it poses as part of character building. It also carries into how the story progresses in Chapter 6, (mentions in 7) 9, 10 (tentatively) and overall how it affects Johnny as a person within this AU. (Also obvious warning but everything that happens to johnny is fictional in this story)

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Neon lights were flashing chaotically, trying to fall in line with the choppy transitions the DJ spun. If i wasn’t so anxious I would probably push him out the way and show the crowd that I could do a way better job. But the hoard of sweaty bodies plastered together paired with the lights and the vibrating bass- everything was making me want to vomit. I had no idea why I decided to come other than that I thought this rave would help me relax but it was honestly doing the opposite. I tossed back the rest of my drink and crushed the plastic cup, chucking it onto the floor of the warehouse. I wanted to go home but I was stuck trying to keep track of Taeyong and Ten like a glorified babysitter. Once my anxiety hit and they went off in their separate ways they were lost for what seemed like forever. Now I was forced to wait for us to regroup while my heart raced a mile a minute. I pressed my head to the wall and forced myself to take deep breaths.

“HEY!” I jumped suddenly at the voice beside me. I looked over and saw Taeyong. “What are you doing all the way over here?! Why don’t you dance?” He was trying to yell over the thumping music and I could barely hear him. I gave him a confused look and instead got closer for him to shout in my ear. “You look like shit! What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing! Just not really feeling this anymore! Are you guys ready to go?”

“No way! It’s only like 2am! Besides I think Ten went to have an orgy or something! I don’t know.”

I wanted to slam my head against the wall now. Just my fucking luck. “Did he leave yet?! I’m about to ditch him and drive home!”

Taeyong just gave me a confused shrug and I was sure he hadn’t heard me clearly. “I got something that will make you feel less shitty!” He held out his hand and revealed two pills.

“What the hell is it?” I was skeptical, especially since Taeyong could be really stupid at times. It wouldn’t surprise me if he took random drugs from a stranger.

“Don’t know! Just live a little! You’re being a dick today! Eri hasn’t fucked you lately?!” He laughed before popping one pill into his mouth and taking a swig of his drink. Why was everyone always up my ass about if I fucked Eri or not? I had kept it mostly to myself but I was done with her, especially after how close we had been the last few times we hooked up. It was getting to be too much and I felt my heart and stomach do weird shit whenever I was with her. I didn’t like it one bit. The last straw was at the amusement park. I couldn’t take how good she felt riding me and even worse I couldn’t take how sweet she had been to me when I hurt my hand. It was too intimate, too wrapped up in emotions. I had left her on read for so long that it wasn’t phasing me anymore, even though I would catch her looking over at me during class. Every once in awhile our eyes would meet just for a second but that’s all I let happen.

“Shut up. I’m not being a dick! I just don’t trust random shit you bought at a rave!” He dropped it into my hand anyway and handed me the rest of his drink.

“Take it! Have fun! I’ll see you later!” With that I lost Taeyong in the sea of people. I wiped my hand over my face, sighing deeply. I pressed my back against the wall again and stared at the tiny pastel pill, mulling over my possible options. I could continue being miserable and responsible and not ditch my friends since I was their ride here or I could be irresponsible, get fucked up, forget my anxiety, all the crap I had to deal with, and become numb to every feeling I’ve wanted to ignore since the party in August. Bottoms up.

I swallowed it, finishing off the rest of the drink and letting the cup join my previous one on the dirty floor. Hopefully this would kick in soon and I wouldn’t want to die as much. Being surrounded by so many people always made me feel like I was suffocating and they were closing in on me. To distract myself in the mean time I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my Instagram feed absentmindedly. I yawned as nothing really caught my eye until I came across a video from one of Eri’s accounts. Someone, I think it was Lucas, was licking and kissing her neck in the most obscene way. She captioned it as “Baby Boy is so needy today.” I wanted to crush my phone as easily as i did the plastic cup. Why the hell did she have to post such gross shit? I tried to calm myself- there was no need to get angry. She could fuck whoever she wanted and I could fuck whoever I wanted. No strings attached, no feelings, no longing for her skin against mine, her lips against mine, or her fingers running through my hair. Nope, none of that.

I set my phone in my pocket, refusing to look at it anymore.My excuse was that my battery was only at 43% and i couldn’t risk not having enough power for the ride back home. The music was slowly starting to not sound as bad and I found myself actually bobbing my head to the beat. It was weird, like I could feel it vibrating in my bones. I started drumming my fingers against my thighs as the dance floor seemed to call out to me. I was always better at choreographed dances that anything freestyle but making a fool out of myself seemed to be a great idea now. I pushed myself off the wall and made my way into the crowd. Sticky, sweaty bodies brushed against me and instead of wanting to pull away, every touch made me explode into a rush of heightened senses. Everyone felt so good. I wanted any and every touch at all. I couldn’t help but smile and suddenly i was in a laughing fit, giggling uncontrollably like an idiot.

I felt hands on me then and I didn’t think much about it until they turned me around. A girl was in front of me now, equally as happy and smiley as I was. I returned her touches and even her kisses when she suddenly connected with my lips. I had no idea who she was and at this point I didn't really care. I grabbed onto her ass and pulled her closer, grinding my hips against her roughly. She dug her nails into my shoulders, standing on her tiptoes to reach me. I was half tempted to pick her up and hold her around my waist but she broke our kiss suddenly, bringing my attention to someone beside her. It was presumably her friend by the way they exchanged coy glances. I resumed my kiss with the new girl instead but held them both close to me. Through dancing, heated grinds, and horny kisses we made our way out of the warehouse some time later.

However, the concept of time was starting to become a mystery to me in of itself. Everything that was happening was such a blur. Colors were turning into smells that were turning into tastes. I couldn't even piece together how i got into a bed. Was it my bed? Had I even drove? My head was pounding but i found myself tangled in a copious amount of limbs. My cock sunk into whatever hole I could find, subconsciously guided by moans and eager cries. Everything felt so good I never wanted it to end. For once, in these past couple of months, my mind was on anything but Eri and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

What didn’t feel good was when I woke up the next afternoon. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like a desert. It was a struggle to even move as I felt so weak and heavy. I realized i was still in bed and there were bodies on either side of me. Slowly I raised my head and blinked my eyes into focus. Who the hell were these people? I groaned and sat up and nausea washed over me instantly. I kept still for a moment, trying not to send my empty stomach into an acidic launch of bile. Apparently my minimal movement had woken up one of the girls beside me, the one with brightly colored hair, haphazardly placed tattoos, and multiple piercings. She was stick thin but rather tall and I was surprised I had even gone after someone like her. But seeing how fucked up I must have been yesterday I guess my preferences didn’t matter. She slipped out of the bed easily, as if the drugs hadn’t affected her at all. Maybe she didn’t take any though I could’ve sworn everyone at the rave did. I could see bites littering her entire body and giant bruises across her thighs and hips. What the fuck did I do?

She had gone to the bathroom, not even so much as glancing at me. In the meantime I was trying to convince myself I had enough strength to move my legs. They felt like tingly jello and I was sure if I tried to get up I would collapse. The girl came back from the bathroom and I managed to croak out a few words. “Hey, did I drive here? Do you know where my keys are?” My voice was raspy and barely audible.

She smirked and straddled my lap, ignoring my questions. It annoyed me as I needed to know my plan of action. I also had to start thinking about where the hell was T.Y. and Ten. I wondered if they had gotten home ok and if T.Y. was as fucked up as I was. “Hey cutie.” Her light and airy voice greeted me and I looked up as her as she pushed me back onto the mattress. “You were fucking amazing last night.”

“Ah, thanks but-” She grabbed a hold of my wrists and pinned them beside my head. I tried to push her off but my body still felt like dead weight. “I-I really need to go. My friends-”

She silenced me with a kiss which i didn’t reciprocate. I started to panic, knowing with how I felt I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself. All i could do was try and protest as much as possible, moving my head away from her wandering lips while I was internally screaming for her to get off me. It was no use. My body was reacting to her touches against my will and I shut down. I returned to that oh so scary and familiar void where I was numb, swallowed up by my hurt and suffering, could ignore what would haunt me forever.

--

Her name was Rixi and it turned out she went to our college which meant that after the night of the rave all she did was follow me around campus. Almost every waking moment was spent with her around me though I despised everything about her being. She clung to me like glue and I couldn’t get rid of her no matter how hard I tried. My mind wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be. Regular Johnny would tell this idiot to kick rocks, but this empty Johnny couldn’t function. It was like I was having an out of body experience watching myself go day by day pretending nothing was wrong. I had to push forward even though I wanted to stay curled up in my bed all day suffering in silence. Sleep beckoned me at every moment but I was having more night terrors. The hours i actually slept were minimal and didn’t help my zombie like state. Nonetheless, I kept pushing myself, forcing myself, to work. I had to pay rent, bills, and eat, even though I wasn’t doing much of that either. I also had to turn in projects and my higher than average GPA was on the verge of sinking. Jae had to carry most of the radio show. I just read off the notes and script uncharismatically. He seemed to notice that something was off but I just told him it was a really bad stomach flu. He left it at that for now but I could tell he wanted to pry some more.

With my academic and work life in the shit, Rixi blocked off my romantic life with anyone but her. She managed to get me into a bed a few more times which i didn't understand. I didn't want her at all, in fact having sex with her reminded me of that night after the rave, but i did it anyway. I had always used sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism for shit i didnt want to deal with- it was better to feel like i was having fun and didn't care than face my problems head on. Maybe I wanted to hurt myself, psychologically at least. It would be punishment for being so stupid at the rave and probably for that entire time I ignored Eri without even giving her so much as a proper explanation as to why. She made my body feel good and everything was natural with her. She made me feel...happy. It wasn't like i was hurting myself; it was a genuine connection which scared the hell out of me.

I found myself wanting that little sliver of happiness or at least some form of stability back in my life. I wanted to pull myself away from Rixi's toxicity but it continued to drown and swallow me whole. Some days I wanted to reach out to Eri but I was too chicken shit to do it. Instead I settled for using my imagination to replace Rixi with Eri for the sake of my sanity. Every time I fucked her, kissed her, touched any part of her, I imagined the person I longed for the most. It was giving Rixi the wrong impression and I was only digging my grave deeper. In the rare times I managed to escape her death grip I tried to get my mind off of both the women that haunted my existence. I came to realize that I was using Eri too much as a crutch and losing my humanity in the presence of Rixi. Thus, i stayed within my misery.

Eventually, as if I didn’t have enough shit going on, Rixi found it completely rational to overreact over everything I did. I couldn’t look at my instagram feeds, I couldn’t create music or art because I “wasn’t paying enough attention” to her, and if I didn’t answer her texts right away she presumed I was ignoring her. Each time I messed up she landed a smack or a punch to my body, mostly my ribcage. At first I thought nothing of it. I playfully hit my friends all the time and accidentally created some bruises that I didn’t mean to but the more it happened with Rixi the more I knew that it wasn’t playful. It was malicious and starting to become painful, especially when the same spot was hit over and over. I could normally stop her when she got too out of hand but it would bring her to whine even more and make my head want to explode. There were days where I let her carry on because it was better than hearing her mouth.

I tried hanging out with my friends to create some sort of safety net. Being around them, made me feel a little better though the exchange was awkward. We we all sitting at the student center having met up for lunch. Of course Rixi found a way to follow me there, never leaving my side. The guys wouldn’t look me in the eye but they all traded whispers and uneasy glances in my direction. The normal chatter and banter we had disappeared and I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs. I sat back in my seat, scrolling through my phone which I tried to keep hidden from her view. She kept craning her neck to see what I was doing, who I was looking at, and if there were any women involved. Heaven forbid I liked any content with them. If I came across something she didn’t like all I did was apologize and try and shrug her off but her death grip remained on my arm.

“So like,” Ten finally spoke up. “Pixel-”

“It’s Rixi.” She snapped.

“Yeah, whatever. When are you gonna leave?”

“What do you mean leave?”

“Like, leave Johnny alone. You’re being ridiculously clingy. It’s not cute.”

“I’m not being clingy and I have no reason to leave my boyfriend.”

Jae spat out his drink, spraying it across the table. It landed all over Taeyong who stood up and threw a napkin at him. Yuta’s eyes went wide and Taeil’s mouth hung open. Ten instantly went on his phone, furiously typing away. They all looked at me as if they needed confirmation. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell them that I wasn’t her boyfriend and was basically trapped and couldn’t escape her. I wanted help, someone to help me get rid of her but I couldn’t ask the guys. They wouldn’t understand. I couldn’t be vulnerable around them. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Jae the truth.

“Wait...Johnny are you seriously-like seriously, serious-?” Taeil asked.

I said nothing.

“Fuck…” Yuta whispered. “That’s uh...fuck. What about Eri?”

“Who’s Eri?” Rixi practically growled.

“I’m Eri.”

My entire body shot up, frozen in place as I saw her. She had appeared behind Yuta as if we had summoned her. In reality, Lucas was with her and they were probably passing through the center to get something to eat as well. My throat closed up as our eyes met. It was only for a second because she instantly switched her glare over to Rixi. An angry aura was emanating from her and i could see her trying to keep her cool. God, i needed to talk to her before anything spiraled out of control. If I didn’t then the student center would turn into a National Geographic battleground where two head lionesses were going to tear at each other’s throats.

“Ooohhh and the drama continues!!” Ten laughed, typing again on his phone.

I went to stand up and make my way over to her but Rixi pulled me back down, her nails digging into my skin. I shot her a glare almost unable to keep my seething anger behind my teeth. “Let me go.” I hissed. She shook her head quickly and I could practically feel the bruises start to form in the shape of her fingers. Eri spoke again, snapping my attention back to her and forgetting about the pain in my bicep. It was then I noticed that she was wearing my flannel shirt. The one she had fallen asleep in when we me back from our amusement park date- well, hang out. I had forgotten it when I ran out of her room after our last fuck. By the time I had remembered that I left it behind I was already ignoring her texts and trying to put some distance between us. I even prevented myself from caving in and texting her to ask for it back. Now she was here, perfect as ever, and I still loved the way it looked on her.

“Guess I came at the right time, what are my favorite sluts talking about me for?” she said.

“Weeeeellllllll-”

“Shut the fuck up Ten.” I almost yelled, knowing that he was purposefully going to tell her about what transpired. His gossiping was going to make everything worse before I could clear the air. Every pair of eyes traded looks between me and Eri as tensions surmounted to an unfathomable level.

“Wow, rude. I wasn’t going to say anything about your girlfriend.”

And there it was. I tried not to show my irritation but my jaw was already twitching and my fists were balled up at my side.

“Girlfr-?” Eri seemed to stop herself from finishing the word. She squared her shoulders and posed a fake smile and I knew she was locking away what she really wanted to say. “Oh, i’m happy you finally found someone to deal with your bullshit. Anyway, I was passing through and I remembered that I had to drop something off to Yuta.”

“Me?” Yuta asked, surprised.

“Yep!” She opened her backpack and dumped out a plethora of rope, ballgags, and even some toys onto his lap. Yuta’s entire face beamed red and he fumbled to try and hide the stuff quickly.

“E-Eri!!!” he whined.

She just continued to smile, completely satisfied with her antics. She grabbed Lucas’ hand and turned away from our group leaving me longing for her even more. There wasn't anyway I could go after her now. I sighed and set my hea in my hands, wishing I could take back everything.

“Yongho-hyung.” I heard Jae say sternly in Korean. My head snapped up to him and I could tell he was serious. He stood up, ripping Rixi’s arm off me, and instead pulled me away from the table. “Don't you fucking dare follow us.” He hissed at her. She luckily obeyed, though she was full of annoyance. I followed Jae until we found a corner away from the hustle and bustle of student life. “What in the actual fuck, Johnny? What is going on with you? This whole month you’ve been acting weird and now you have a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She literally just said you were her boyfriend. If you don’t like her then you need to tell her. You can’t drag this- Is that a bruise on your arm?”

I pushed my hair back and looked away from him. What I was about to say hurt my pride and made me feel so miniscule and pathetic. But I had to reach out for someone. I just prayed that Jae didn’t judge me or think lesser of me for acting this way. “I need help, man.”

--

Eri’s Pov

“Eri! Eri! You’re crushing my hand! Slow down!” Lucas shouted.

I was furious. More than furious. I was any and every word in the dictionary to describe pissed off. He literally left me on read for weeks and didn't have the balls to even tell me he was dating someone?! What kind of shit for brains human being doesn't have to courtesy to tell someone they wanted to end their fuck buddy relationship? My whole body felt like it was trembling. I pulled off his stupid flannel about ready to throw it into the nearest garbage can. Lucas yanked my arm back hard, making me crash into him. “WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Calm the fuck down. You're literally in rage mode and knowing you you're going to lose your cool. I don’t need that to happen, ok?”

“Do NOT tell me to calm down.” I said through grit teeth.

“Too bad. I need you to. I can take you home. I don't really think you should go to class.”

The rational side of my brain knew that Lucas was right. My anger had always been a problem, something I tried my damndest to control but when it struck, I had a bad habit of creating chaos. I wouldn't be able to concentrate in class and if anything triggered me-voices, sounds, lights- havoc would ensue. The irrational part of my brain told me to kill him. It even told me to kill that stupid little twat who thought she could swoop and steal Johnny from me. I bet she couldn't fuck him like I could, couldn't make him cum like I could, and probably couldn't even get him to stay over and cater to her heart's feelings like he did with me. I was better than her and wanted to crush her into dust under my boots.

Lucas snapped his fingers in front of me. “Eri, back to me. I know you're thinking bad stuff. Stop it. Please get a hold of yourself. Do you want me to call Quinn?”

Quinn.

No matter how clueless and endlessly horny they were they meant the world to me. They were always smart enough to talk me through my episodes and get me to realize that killing people was still illegal. It always ticked me off when they were right about the shitty ways i addressed my issues but I needed that reality check. I nodded helplessly as I felt the switch of wanting to bawl my eyes out quickly wash over me. Lucas sighed and pulled me into his chest squeezing me tight.

“We need to go. I don't need that jackass to see you like this, ok? Let's get you home.”

He kept an arm around my shoulder and guided me towards the exit of the student center as he pulled out his phone. I barely heard the conversation he had with Quinn. I was focusing so hard on trying not to shed any tears as I drove home. A man was nothing to cry over and another woman was nothing to be jealous of. It went against the entirety of my ideals but i was still screaming at the hurt. The girlfriend wasn't the reason for my anger- though it played a role in it. No, the betrayal, the absence of truth, and the overwhelming cowardice was what got under my skin.

I managed to keep my composure through the short drive back to the apartment but completely lost it when i saw Quinn already sitting in my room. I slammed the door shut and ran into their arms, practically tackling them onto the bed. With my face buried in their chest I broke into ugly heart wrenching sobs with tears as big as hail. It seemed never ending and Quinn patiently petted my head not saying a single word until I was ready. Lucas remained outside in the living room and I was sure he could hear everything. I was embarrassed now and almost wished he wasn't here but i had to at least thank him for keeping a level head while mine was about to explode.

“I just wish,” i swallowed hard. “I just wish he would've told me instead of throwing it in my face. You should've seen the way she was clutching onto him, like some...clingy, stupid, little irritating slut! Who even does that? And he just let it happen. He can't even tell someone when they don't want to be fuck buddies anymore.”

“I know, Eri. But you really can’t dwell on it. I know you had feelings-”

“I did NOT have feelings for him.”

Quinn set their hand over mine and gave me a slightly condescending look, like they didn't believe me. “Regardless,” they continued. “Men ain't shit and this just proves how much of a piece of scum he was. You are everything, Eri. It sounds cheesy to say but you're so amazing and he doesn't deserve an ounce of what you gave him.” They grabbed my hands tight and squeezed them. “One day you're gonna find someone that treats you right. Someone who you're not afraid to love and you can trust with all your heart. I know you don't really believe in love but it is going to happen to you someday. Please, just please, don't waste your time over him.”

They wiped the tears from my face before handing me several tissues. I blew my nose, over and over and wiped at my puffy face until my sobs turned into small sniffles and hiccups. Eventually I calmed down even further when Quinn pulled me back into their arms and covered me in gentle kisses. I cracked the smallest of smiles when their lips pressed against my forehead and trailed down to my nose. “You're stronger than all of this, okay? You're the one that defends us all. You're mommy and daddy.” They chuckled. “But above all you’re the best and I want to do everything I can to make you feel better.”

“Can you bury the body once I kill Johnny?” I laughed.

“Well, duh. Who else is gonna help you? Lucas? He’s dumber than I am.”

“That is true. I’m embarrassed that he probably heard me cry like a big gay baby.”

“If he says anything about it, i’ll clock him in the jaw.”

I smiled at the sentiment but couldn’t help think back to the night of the beach party where Johnny decked Matt in the face for being such an asshole. At least back then he seemed like a caring human being and I could tolerate him. I actually wanted to be with him then. Well, be around him. I had to push those thoughts away and get over what was hurting me the most. Just then, there was a knock on my bedroom door. “Is it ok to come in?” Lucas asked. I nodded and Quinn beckoned him in. He smiled and came over to my bed sitting behind me and pulling me between his legs. “Are you feeling any better?”

“A little. I stopped crying and don’t feel like taking a bat to his car so...i guess i’m okay for now.”

“Ok, I was worried for a bit there.” He wrapped his arms around my ribcage and squeezed me gently to his chest.

“Yeah, me fucking too.”

Quinn came closer to us and set their head on Lucas’ shoulder. “We could still take a bat to his car. It’s a beat up piece of shit anyway.”

I gave Quinn a little kiss before setting my head back on Lucas’ chest. “Don’t give me any ideas ok?”

They gave me another kiss holding it a little longer before realizing what they were doing. “Wait, sorry. I shouldn’t. That was terrible of me. You’re feeling like shit. I’m an idiot.”

I gave them a small shrug. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind it. Actually, feeling anything but what I’m feeling now is helpful.”

“Uh...should I leave?” Lucas asked.

I turned my attention towards Lucas, wrapping my arms around him. “No. Stay here. I owe you remember.”

“Are you sure?” He asked. He looked at me then at Quinn as if to confirm everything.

“Eri’s in charge. Whatever they say goes.Though I don’t particularly think it’s a good idea to do this now, if you really think it’ll make you feel better then...”

“Please...I’d like to forget about all this shit and feel good.”

Lucas nodded and chewed at his bottom lip. I looked up at him, giving him a reassuring smile before i covered his lips in my own. Quinn took up residence behind me, tentatively holding my hips and nuzzling my shoulders. Their dainty hands slid underneath my shirt and rubbed at my stomach before cupping my breasts. I pulled away from Lucas to lift the shirt over my head and toss it nearby. He plucked away the clasps of my bra, sliding it down my arms and letting it join my shirt. Quinn tugged at my hips this time, letting me know they wanted my attention. I smiled, always enamored by their cuteness and ability to beg for me. I turned my body towards them, and pushed them lightly back onto the bed. They were only in an over sized shirt and panties and i made quick work in pulling those away. With their body free for me to command I wrapped my lips around their overly sensitive nipples, pulling them into perfect pink peaks. A few sucks at a time to each one would already draw impatient moans from them. The tease was always part of the fun and I pulled away to retreat back to their lips for another round of slow kisses.

Lucas stepped off the bed momentarily, allowing himself more space to pull off his sweatshirt and shorts from his tall frame. He cupped my chin in his hand and leaned down for a quick kiss. “Go lower.” He whispered.

I smiled dreamily as I listened, trailing kisses down Quinn’s stomach until I parted their thighs. Lucas turned Quinn’s head towards him, rubbing the head of his semi hard cock over the outline of their lips before sliding himself in. His eyes fell closed and I watched Quinn’s cheeks hollow ever so slightly with each suck luring him to a pleasure ridden state. His head dipped back and his slender fingers buried themselves within their dirty blonde hair. It was tempting to spend all night watching them flow together so effortlessly but instead I joined in on the fun and dove my head between Quinn’s legs. They still smelled of the sweet florals of their body wash which made me smile as I covered their lower lips with my tongue. A quick gasp wrapped around Lucas’ dick which made him bite his lip and pull them closer. I drifted my tongue through the budding wetness taking in the warm taste. My lips created gentle tugs on their clit, making the tender nerves swell and garner more favored reactions from my best friend.

I felt my own heat stirring and I pressed my thighs together to try and get a bit of friction but it was useless. I let out a bit of a frustrated groan as I was starting to become hungry for attention. “Take them off.” Lucas panted in between deep thrusts down Quinn’s throat. He was referring to my leggings, which in my hazy state, I had completely forgotten about. Once I was free i returned to my all fours position, spreading my knees wide and dipping my stomach towards the bed. I was going to reach back to finger myself but Lucas beat me to it, using his long limbs and our small bodies to his advantage. His middle finger worked my slit up and down, up and down, up and down, the tip of it making small stops to circle around my entrance. I pushed back towards his finger impatiently waiting to be filled. He chuckled lower and dared to tease me further with the smallest of touches to my clit. I wiggled my hips almost mewling between my staggered licks to Quinn who seemed to notice my distraction. They pulled off of Lucas and swatted at his stomach.

“Be nice, Lucas.”

He quit his teasing then and plunged his finger in though he was pouting about it. I settled into the motion, loving the way he effortlessly slid against my walls and stroked all kinds of sins into me. I was finally able to focus my attention back to Quinn-as I was at least getting a bit of release-and moved my tongue inside them. I dove as deep as I could, burying my face into their soft skin. I gripped at their thighs, preventing them from squirming around as my nose nudged against their clit and my tongue lapped quicker. Lucas added another finger, scissoring me open before plunging back in fully. He was starting to curl his knuckles and bring out the slick sounds of my cum covering his fingers. His deep moans grumbled in his throat as Quinn’s hand flexed around his length, stroking almost in time with Lucas’ thrusts inside me. I pulled away from Quinn then, not wanting Lucas to get too eager and cum early. Instead I crawled up to their face, gently turning their head away from his cock and slid my tongue into them trading their taste for Lucas’.

“Fuck you guys are so hot.” He groaned.

“Shut up Lucas.” Quinn and I said at the same time, rolling our eyes.

“Quick question though...How you you want me to cum? Like in one of you or…?”

I shrugged. “Whatever you want. Doesn't matter to me.”

He seemed to beam with excitement until I snapped my fingers and pointed at my little box of condoms on my dresser. His ego was deflated and he begrudgingly went to retrieve one while Quinn and I laid beside each other. Our hands dove between each others thighs as we kissed, our fingers circling our clits and filling each other every so often. Lucas rejoined us on the bed, looking over us like a buffet, wondering where to start. “Don’t think about it too hard.” I teased, nudging his thigh with my foot.

He bit his lip and set his hands on my hips choosing me as his first source of pleasure. He pressed kisses into my neck with Quinn joining him. I adjusted myself beneath him, widening my legs for him to settle between. Slowly, he sunk into me, filling me with his length and making me clutch onto his shoulders. My brows scrunched just for a moment as i adjusted to the familiarity inside me. Lucas' waited, occupying himself with a few bites to my neck and deep kisses to Quinn. My hand slipped down to grip his firm ass, pulling him in for a minimal thrust. He took it as an offer to proceed and pulled out slowly. I gripped Quinn's hand, bracing myself for the harsh snap of his hips Instead, I was met with a methodical and slow plunge as if he was determined to make me feel every ridge and vein throughout his shaft.

Surprisingly enough, Lucas was the best at slow fucking and pretty attentive for a semi adult with one thing on his mind. He kept a firm grip on me, guiding me to roll back against his hips and let the tip of his cock firmly press against my walls. My head dipped back into the pillow as I closed my eyes and relaxed into a space of forgetfulness -forgetting about all my troubles and coping with the fact that I had friends who would give me everything I needed. I didn't have to rely on some fuckboy with a wannabe girlfriend. Quinn was right about Johnny and I was glad they could bring me some peace of mind along with a slice of pleasure.

Their gentle fingers were caressing my clit while their lips clamped onto my nipple. With the added attention to my bundle of nerves, i was already feeling my muscles tingling with anticipation of my release. I bit down on my lip as i exhaled softly. I could hear Lucas’ rough moans above me, secretly loving how loud and husky they sounded. My thighs clenched around his waist adding to the motion of our bodies shifting into one another. Quinn kissed their way up my neck to my ear and stumbled through asking me if they could sit on my face. I tried to stifle my giggle at their embarrassment to even ask and simple nodded. They maneuvered themselves over my chest, continuously looking back to make sure they wouldn't accidentally kick me. I assured them that it was alright and let them scoot back over my lips. I wrapped my arms around their thighs, securing them against me, before working my tongue through their folds once more. I heard them sigh softly, fading into a moan.

Lucas was mumbling under his breath, most likely nonsensical compliments about how hot we are and how he got off on girl on girl action. Quinn and I normally ignored what he said and focused on how gorgeous his body was and how quickly he could make us cum. Once he saw Quinn over me however, he picked up the pace of his slow thrusts, preferring his usual hard quick snaps instead. My toes curled against his lower spine and I felt like i was crushing his waist between my thighs. He pulled them away from him and instead pushed my legs up towards Quinn, making them hold my knees in place. I practically felt him in my stomach then, plowing away at every inch within me and making my body surge with a tingling sensation.

I squeezed my eyes tighter and tried to keep up the eager thrusts of my tongue into Quinn but it was becoming more and more difficult with the way my body bounced. Suddenly they lifted their hips up allowing me just a small space to see them pushing Lucas back to make room for their head to wedge between my spread thighs. As Lucas thrusted, Quinn licked at my clit all while nudging their ass back against me. My muscles were already clenching and building up tension until i couldn't hold back any longer. I pressed a moan into Quinn's wetness as my lower half wavered with the taxation of my orgasm.

Lucas’ pulled out slowly, a small rush of my cum following him. Quin carefully moved off of me and kissed me, smearing our tastes together momentarily before joining Lucas. I curled up in my little area, regaining my breath while the pair switched up their positions. Quinn was pushed onto their hands and knees, their ass poised perfectly high in the air to give him easy access to plunge into them. I watched with half lidded eyes as I regained my breath. It was nice to lay in the after bliss of it all even when Quinn’s loud moans and the sound of skin on skin disturbed my peace.

Eventually I felt myself getting roped into the mix again with barely any time to truly catch my breath. “You know I’m not done with you yet.” Lucas smirked.

“I was just letting you play with Quinn for a bit. Just to make my baby boy happy.” I pushed back his hair that was getting more sweat drenched by the second. “Don’t you like a thorough workout?”

“I do. So bend over.” He pushed me back down onto the bed making follow the same position as Quinn. He separated from them and slammed into me keeping firm pressure on my lower back. I bit into my pillow, burying my moans into it. Every so often i would feel him leave and switch over to Quinn who gripped my hand with such intensity I was afraid they would break it. I could tell they were close to losing it and for the sake of it all I was selfishly awaiting a second orgasm. Lucas kept the pace with Quinn for a little bit longer before alternating again. It was a tense and teasing feeling, having that desire build up in the deepest part of me then have it ripped away. Teetering right on the edge was enough to make me a begging mess and also extremely bratty. I whined into the pillow, working myself back roughly onto him, as his hand gripped the back of my neck while he plowed into me.

I was panting and drawing nearer to my orgasm, loving the switch into a deep hard fucking but he tore away from me again, making me groan. “Lucas!”

He chuckled and gave my ass a slap. “Relax, there's enough of me to go around.” He plunged into Quinn and brought them to their completion before me just out of spite. Quinn rushed out a scream as their little body shook before collapsing onto my bed. Their hair stuck to their forehead and i pushed it away gently. I was happy that they came but pissed off at Lucas for making me wait. He was being such a snarky little shit about it too. He laid down finally, his head in the direction of the foot of the bed, and patted his thighs, beckoning me to him.

“Ride me, babes. I’m ready.”

I whacked his toned stomach but nonetheless made my over to straddle his hips. I guided him back inside, inhaling deeply as he felt even heavier and thicker now. Slowly, i bounced, setting my hands on his chest to keep my balance. My head dipped low and I bit into my bottom lip trying not to get too loud. He gripped my hips with one hand while the other dipped into his mouth, drawing his tongue over the length of his middle finger. In a few seconds, I felt that wetness between my cheeks, dancing across my rim.

“Relax, Eri. Fuck baby, relax for me. It’s gonna feel so good.”

“Just do it and shut up.” I grabbed his face and crushed his lips to mine as he pressed his finger into me, going slowly at first. His thick tongue slipped into my mouth, practically silencing my ability to convey my pleasure. He was able to eventually work his knuckle into me, making me wince as he coupled it with a faster grind of his hips. I accepted him anyway rocking back on the feeling of each one of my holes being occupied by him. His tongue, his finger, his cock, and my overstimulation was a match made in heaven. His dug his fingertips into my ass forcing our bodies as close as they could go. He was losing control and finding any which way to stay stable but continued to falter. He tossed his head back, finally releasing my lips from his grasp, and filling the condom within me. I ground through his orgasm, chasing my own so I wouldn’t be left unfulfilled after his little edging spell. He was starting to squirm a bit, wanting to slip away from the slight overstimulation. It didn’t stop me though. The feeling of getting my payback sparked my nerves, making me cum hard. I collapsed to the right of him as my legs gave way and I couldn’t hold myself up any longer. Quinn crawled over to Lucas’ left side and laid their head on his chest.

“You guys left me to just jack off on my own!”

“I thought you liked watching us fuck.” Lucas laughed.

“Yeah but you could've at least ate me out!”

I sighed and left them to bicker or even get into it again, wanting to get my peace of mind back. Besides my phone buzzed and I was curious as to who was messaging me now. It was Yuta. I sighed and opened the message quickly just to see what he wanted.

Kisskissfallinlove: NOT COOL

Kisskissfallinlove: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Of course he was referring to me making an example out of him just a couple hours ago.

I didn’t need your toys here. They were gonna get mixed in with my stuff

Kisskissfallinlove: I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH BRIGHT PINK SHIT BECAUSE ITS UR FAVE COLOR

Kisskissfallinlove: HOW COULD IT GET MIXED UP

Stop yelling at me.

Also i’m kinda busy rn

I’ll message you later

Kisskissfallinlove: i’m gonna get you, dont you worry.

I’m not worried sir. I was simply returning your stuff. Don’t forget your shit next time and it wont happen again.

Kisskissfallinlove: thursday. My room

Kisskissfallinlove: i mean it eri.

We’ll see

I tossed my phone back down contemplating ignoring his request or falling into his bed again. Why not? What was the worst that could happen? I needed everything to help me get over the fact that Johnny was over me.

--

Yuta had his legs crossed over mine, pinning my ankles to the bed with his feet. My arms were bound behind my back with the same pink rope I had dumped into his lap just days before. An intricate and tight pattern that accentuated my chest kept me from squirming too much. I couldn’t talk, barely could even moan with the ball gag he stuffed in my mouth. All the while he sat behind me letting a relentless stream of vibrations from his favorite hitachi wand wash over my clit. My toes curled and my fingers flexed against his stomach as he forced me to stop right before I could have my satisfaction. The vibrations were so strong I could feel them even when he pulled the toy away. My panties were becoming a soaked mess as he insisted I keep them on. He loved the way my cum spread across the center leaving the wet spot behind. “Do you wanna cum?” He asked. His other hand was busy scrolling through his phone as if nothing was phasing him at all.

I growled at his stupid question. If I wasn’t irritated enough at his punishment, the fact that he wasn’t even paying attention to me was worse. He set his head on my shoulder. I could see texts popping up on his phone but I had no idea what they said. While Korean men was my forte, the language sure as hell wasn’t. I squirmed a bit more vieing for more pleasure and get this over with. Edging always made me want to kick and scream, especially when Yuta was behind it.

“Oh, did you get the text about Taeyong and Taeil’s Halloween party?”

I glared over at him. How the hell was I supposed to answer with this stupid gag in my mouth? He popped it out and I worked to suck back the spit that it had accumulated before I drooled all over myself unintentionally. “N-no. Let me cum already!”

“It’s this weekend,” He continued. “I’m kind surprised they didn’t tell you. Everyone’s going over there to chill and shit. Do you think you’ll go?”

I bit into my bottom lip as my calves strained and my toes flexed as I tried to focus the pain somewhere else. “I-I don’t th-thi-think I should show up somewhere-AHHH! Uninvited!!!”

He turned the speed up higher. “Yeah I guess it is kind rude but who cares. They know you. It’s not like you're some stranger. You can just be my date.” He kissed me on the cheek and flashed that gorgeous sunshine-y smile at me. I was half tempted to headbutt him.

“Oh a date? Well don’t I just feel so fuckin’ special.”

He tsked at me. “Now, now, Eri. Watch your language. Besides, you’re gonna ditch me as soon as you see Johnny.

The name made me stop wriggling for a moment. “I am not going to ditch you for that asshole.” I said through grit teeth. He turned off the wand then, giving me relief but also stress from the incomplete build up. “I have no reason to go after him now that he has a girlfriend. I may sleep around but I’m not a homewrecker.”

“It’s kinda weird. He keeps saying that she isn’t his girlfriend but she’s like everywhere. And i mean EVERYWERE. She kinda creeps all of us out. He hasn’t seemed like himself either.”

I panted as he pulled the wand away from my panties and replaced it with his fingers. He was sliding through the oversaturation, every graze over my overly sensitive clit making me want to scream. If I didn’t keep up the conversation though I had a feeling he would go back to torturing me. “What exactly do you mean?”

Yuta shrugged and stilled his movements. “Like he’s quiet and he hasn’t really responded to our texts. He kinda looks a mess too.”

My stomach fell with a sudden heaviness. Was something going on with him and that stupid slut? Why was he with her anyway? The whole situation still irritated me but i had to remember that I was over him. I had to move on so whatever was happening with him was none of my business. I shrugged. “Well that sucks for him. I don’t know what you want me to do about it. Maybe I shouldn’t even go. I don’t need to be around him.”

“Damn Eri, that’s harsh…”

“No. You know what’s harsh, not having the balls to even tell me that he didn’t want to be fuck buddies anymore. I don’t care if he got a girlfriend but you don’t just drop someone like that.” I swallowed hard before my voice cracked. “Anyway, i’m over that.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Sounds like it.” He said sarcastically. I slammed my shoulder back into his chest.

“Remind me why I hang out with you again. You’re frustrating.”

“Because i’m your prince, duh.” His fingers started up again and I could hear the loud squelching as he dove into me. “You should still come with me. I don’t want it to be a giant sausage fest. If anything goes down, we can leave and go get pancakes or something. My treat.”

“Ok, ok.” I agreed against my better judgement. “I’ll go but only because I still expect pancakes no matter what.”

“Unless you leave me for Johnny.”

“Yuta, for the last time I’m not gonna leave you at the party for Johnny. Now can you PLEASE let me cum?!”

--

Johnny’s POV

I didn’t really want to be here but free booze was basically my middle name. Drinking was starting to become my new best friend and I already felt a buzz going. Rixi was still by my side, having flipped out when she somehow found out I was going to this party. It was leading me to drink more and more just to try and forget she was here. There was only so much that Jae could help me with. After I told him a condensed version of what happened after the rave he got defensive and would step in whenever she got to be too much to handle. I was happy that he didn’t act the way I predicted and instead told me that he would always be there for me. We were each other’s family while we were far away from home. It felt good to have someone believe me and not judge me even though I was constantly wondering why I couldn’t defend myself against her. He had hugged me for a long while after our talk and I was grateful but still felt a bit of guilt. He still had to live his own life too and shouldn’t spend it babysitting me and this monstrosity. When we got to the party I told him to go with Quinn and have a good time. He was hesitant at first, giving Rixi a dirty glare, until I insisted that he’d leave. That was when I starting people watching, focusing on the rotation of people coming in and out of the apartment.

When I saw Yuta enter, a harsh nauseating feeling hit my stomach. I set my cup down, knowing that I would need to steady myself to deal with who he had in tow. I should’ve known she would be here. There was no way to escape her no matter how much my mind flipped flopped through wanting to see her and wanting to run away. She looked good. I had no idea what her costume was but there was a lot of vinyl, straps, and a pair of knee high boots. Everything clung to her like a dream and I could see her body line perfectly. My heart skipped a beat or two when my eyes trailed up to see her gorgeous curls on full display and her lips pouted in a deep burgundy. I sighed, knowing that she was going to be the death of me tonight and get me into so much trouble. I needed her out before shit hit the fan.

Our eyes met for a moment but she turned away quickly, tossing her hair over her shoulder and practically throwing herself on Yuta. I moved away from the wall then, heading out towards the balcony to have a smoke and try and calm my nerves. It was freezing tonight but the chill helped cool the heat on my skin that was already making me sweat from my panic. I lit the cigarette and took a slow drag before setting my arms on the railing. What the hell was I going to do? My terrorizer and savior were both in the same room and i was destined to go mad at the thought of them colliding again. Worst of all, because Eri had come with Yuta  it meant that she was on the up and up with him. I didn’t want to see her tongue down his throat or the way he treated her like some hentai porn doll. If only she knew about all the pictures and videos he took of her and shared with us, then she wouldn’t be so quick to have his dick inside her.

My jaw tensed and I took another drag. I set my head in my hands in disbelief at my own jealous thoughts. I couldn’t be jealous. There was no reason to be. Yet here I was wishing that every time she touched him, that it were me instead. I heard the sliding doors glide back and that annoying voice popped up beside me. “Johnnyyyy~” Rixi whined. “Why aren’t you here without me?”

“Because I needed a damn smoke. Taeyong isn’t going to let me do it inside his apartment. Can I be out here by myself for one minute?”

“Silly,” She grabbed onto my arm and set her head on my shoulder. “How else am I gonna keep an eye on you? Especially with that bitch walking around here.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped at her.

“The one you always look at on Instagram and Snapchat. The one that was a show off that day at the student center. I don’t like her.”

“Well I do.” I said, straightening up. “Don’t call her a bitch. I mean it.”

“What do you mean you like her? You can’t. You’re my boyfriend.” Her brows furrowed in anger and she was quick to tighten her grip on my arm as usual. I yanked it back roughly.

“I meant what I said. And I’m not your boyfriend.”

“Why do you keep saying that?!”

“Because you forced me into doing something I didn’t want to and i’m tired of it.”

She pressed me into the wall, digging her nails into my chest. “I didn’t force you to do anything. You’re the one who wanted it at the rave and all the other times after that. So don’t say that you never wanted me because that’s a bold face lie.”

“I was high at the rave. I couldn’t even think straight. You took advantage of that- of me.”

Rixi shoved my face back, making my head hit the wall. I winced instantly, already feeling the ringing in my ear. I grit my teeth and didn’t look at her. My body was freezing again; my brain failing to process any fight or flight response. She chuckled then, a sadistic laugh that mocked me with the fact that she had this power. She finally backed away giving me some space to breathe and nurse the bump that seemed to be already forming on my skull. I tossed the barely finished cigarette over the railing and made my way back inside deciding to walk away from her entirely. Jae wasn’t anywhere to be found but i needed some sort of safe haven now that the balcony was off limits. Rixi was still following close behind me but just ahead i saw Eri dip into the bathroom.

I turned around quickly making Rixi slam into me. “Can i piss without you going in there with me?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But make it quick.”

I almost ran to the bathroom door, collecting my thoughts before I took a deep breath and dove back into the world of the person who made me feel alive.                                                                                                                        

 --

Eri’s POV

I heard a knock on the door just as I was touching up my lipstick, making sure it didn’t smear. I licked my teeth and sighed. “Someone’s in here.” I called out, annoyed that people at this party were impatient as ever.

“Open up.”

“What part of ‘someone’s in here’ don’t you understand?!” I kicked at the door, trying to shoo the creep away.

“It’s Johnny.” What the fuck did he want? I rolled my eyes and let out an audible groan loud enough for him to hear.

“Ok, and?”

“Let me in.”

“For what? I’m busy in here.”

“”Let. Me. In.”

“If you don’t get away from this door I will hurt you. Bet on that.”

“You’d have to open the door first.” He said. I groaned again, even louder than last time knowing he was right. I pulled the door open just a crack. “What do you-” I was cut off by him barging in, pushing me back into the tiny room as he did so. He kicked the door shut behind him and shoved me against it not giving me a chance to even breathe. He slammed his hand above my head as he blocked me from escaping. I glared up at him. “What the hell is your problem?!”

“You’re my problem Eri. What are you doing here?” He growled.

“Excuse you, Yuta invited me to be his date. What do you think you’re doing trying to command shit?”

“I’m not trying to command anything. I’m just irritated that you’re everywhere I turn and I can’t escape you.”

“Well gee, that may be because we’re in the same social circle and I fuck almost every single one of your friends.” I said, spitefully. “Besides, does it even matter now that you’re with your precious girlfriend? Shouldn’t you be occupied with her?” I still wasn’t over that fact and but I had come to terms with it. I was still a clusterfuck of emotions- a little jealousy, anger and spitefulness, and a lot of hurt at the betrayal and lack of communication. All that mixed with the fact that my body was reacting to him already in ways that i utterly despised just pissed me off even more. My hair was on end and his heavy breaths made his chest press against mine. He was a mere two inches away from my face and the look in his eyes made me want to make him regret ever ghosting me. I forced my eyes away from his hostile look but instead I focused on those dangerous lips. No. I had to remember that I wouldn’t change for no dick and he couldn’t have this hold on me any longer. He could fuck right off.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He growled.

“Oh really? Does she know that? Hard to tell with all those ‘hashtag boyfriend’ posts.”

“Now you’re stalking her instagram?”

“You’re stalking mine. I see your likes every day. What do you think i’m gonna do? Fall for you because you liked my dumb videos?”

“Why do you have to be so endlessly irritating? I don’t want anything from you but to be free.”

“I could say the same about you. I loathe you entirely.”

“Hate me then. Hate me forever. Just get the fuck out of my head. Please get the fuck out of my head.”

What? Had he still been thinking about me this whole time? As much as i had? I wondered if he was hurting like I was. Then again he was the one that caused all of this to begin with. “That sounds like a personal problem. I’ve moved on.”

“Yeah, with who? The little boy toys you got floating around?”

“Careful Johnny, your jealousy is showing.”

He grabbed my face roughly and forced me to look up at him. “It’s not my fault.” He closed the small gap, pressing his lips that i missed so much against mine. I clutched at his chest, almost giving in to his prying tongue but I managed to pull my head away before it got too far. I shoved at his chest and turned my head away from him.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare Johnny. Just don’t. You think you can come back into my life saying and doing what you want when you left me on read for weeks? You didn’t even have the balls to just fucking tell me you wanted to be with her!”

“I don’t want to be with her! That’s the fuckin’ issue! It’s more complicated than you think.”

“What’s complicated about it? You gave me up just to be with her, some low budget copycat version of me. Get over it.”

“How can I when you’re fuckin’ in my head constantly?” He tapped his finger against his temple. “All the damn time, even when I try and force you out you’re in there, haunting me. I’ve tried to get over you, Eri. I’ve tried everything in my power to do so. You wanna talk about hate? That’s hate.”

I scoffed. “In your head? You’re always wrapped up in your head! That’s your problem.” I hit my small fist against him and made him take a step back. My anger was boiling and it was getting worse with the sadness that was creeping into my words. “If you hate me so much then...just get out of my life! We fuck, that’s it. If you’re gonna play games then you’re definitely fucking with the wrong person.”

“I know that. Trust me I do. I just...I can’t think straight. All i do is go back and forth and I get pissed off or needy or sad or anxious. It’s never ending.” He balled his hands up into fists, his forearms straining his frustration. “I wish I could tell you what’s going on…”

I raised a brow at him. “What’s going on is that you’re an asshole and I want nothing to do with you.”

He pushed his hair back and ran a hand over his face. “I get that but...I need you. I fuckin’ need you so bad…”

“Need me? Where we you when I-” I stopped then. Did I really need him or did I just want him? Want him above everything else? I swallowed hard and pressed myself back against the door. Every time. Every damn time. It never failed. Why did I want to run back to him? Why did he have this hold on me? He didn’t deserve anything, especially not my forgiveness or even my body. I could already feel myself ready to cave in at the drop of a hat. I needed to leave this stupid tiny bathroom asap. If I did I could escape him and get a hold of myself. I wouldn’t throw my positive affirmations out the window and make them meaningless again. I reached for the doorknob but his hand covered mine, stopping me. I looked up at him and was suddenly struck with confusion. His eyes weren’t showing anger. Instead they were drowning in hurt. He pressed his forehead to mine and pulled my hand away from the door, placing my arms around his neck while his held my waist. I was disappointed but not surprised that I gave into him. I was kicking myself the entire way, screaming that i was a complete fucking fool and went against everything Quinn had said. But my body ached for him after not having him in my arms for so long. One thing I truly couldn’t escape was the way I felt about him, even if it gave me poor decision making skills.

“Make me feel anything.” He begged.

“What do you need?” I whispered, my voice trembling. I was completely terrified about what I was diving back into

“To feel alive.” He licked his lips and swallowed back. “I need it to hurt.”

I looked up at him as my heart stuttered. “Johnny, I-” He couldn’t mean that. We had never done anything like that before. What was going on with him that he wanted this from me.

“Please, Eri. I trust you.”

I wanted to protest, more than anything, but instead I squeezed him to me tight momentarily before bringing my lips to his. I dont know who this Johnny was but he seemed to have lost the light in his eyes and I didnt like that one bit. My mind buzzed with questions that i wanted answered but knew would be blocked off immediately. His words were making my heart ache more than anything and i felt compelled to extinguish whatever sorrow he had built up within our time apart. I wanted that goofy smile back and I definitely wanted to be the one who caused it. If he wanted this to be a rough wake up call back to reality than i would consent to it. I held his jaw in my hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, whispering “I got you.” He nodded, thankful for my agreement.

We shifted slowly into the change of pace, starting with kisses that built their way up from gentle to rough. Our hands explored at first then changed into digs, gropes, and pulls. His hands seemed to be enamored with the simple harness i wore for my ‘costume’ which was just a haphazard mix of whatever I deemed as “sexy enough” for a Halloween party. His fingers traced the embedded rivets in the leather strap from were it rested below my rib cage all the way up to the o-ring on the collar it connected to. He was intrigued by the ring and tugged on it during our rougher kisses, pulling me to my tiptoes though i already had stilettos on. I braced myself against his chest and forced him back against the sink counter. He pulled me along with him by the ring, keeping a solid grip on it while my lips were a flurry of harsh bites to everywhere i could reach. One by one his neck sprouted bright crimson marks, each one coupled with a groan or a hiss. I grew frustrated with the fact that his shirt covered where I wanted to get to the most. I slapped his hand away from me and clawed at the hem of fabric shoving it upwards until he pulled it off all the way.

He tossed it to the ground and my attention peaked when i saw fading green and yellow bruises on his rib cage. “Seems like she already makes it hurt for you.” I pointed out bitterly. Doubt sprouted in my mind like a budding plant and i wondered if she had gotten him used to being rough. Her of all people, when i had the most experience between him and I. My jaw settled with my selfishness, reminding me of that nagging friend, jealousy.

“Trust me, it wasn't in the way i wanted. You can make me feel good; you're a thousand times better.”

I smirked at the sudden boost to my ego. I dipped my nails into the soft skin of his stomach and pressed into him harder. “No shit. Tell me did I ever cross your mind when you were with her? When you were fucking her, touching her, when you kissed her? Did you wish it was me at all?” i teased, licking across my lips coyly.

“Every. Fucking. Time.” He growled. His intensity switched instantly and i was suddenly faced with having my skirt and panties viciously pulled down. I kicked the irritating barriers away, stumbling just a bit as they circled the edge of my boots. His large hands cupped my ass, covering them with delicious heat as he hoisted me up onto his waist. He plopped me down on the counter and yanked me to the very edge to keep me on display for him like some sort of trophy. I grabbed onto his face again drawing out more hungry kisses and struggling breaths from him. I bit down on his bottom lip, tugging harshly and painful enough to make his blunt nails drag down my thigh. I let his lip go and licked at the tender skin, placing softer kisses to soothe it. He yanked his head back, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth to nurse it on his own. “Ass.”

I smirked. “You said make it hurt.” I propped myself back on my elbows, leaning back on the counter and taking in the sight before me- my legs spread wide and a man who was desperate enough to seek out the pleasure i gave him while that she devil lingered at the party most likely wondering where he was at. The evil part of my ego was at it again suddenly growing the fantasy of me winning the battle and the war. He came back to me even after being under her thumb for this past month. That in of itself was enough to add to my building wetness. I brought two fingers to my lips, taking a few seconds to outline the fullness of them before slipping them past my teeth. Johnny’s eyes were hooked on the movements and his hands were moving on their own so as to not distract him from the show i was putting on. He fumbled with the zipper of his dark jeans until he worked them down his long legs and let them pool at his ankles. His navy briefs came next, uncovering his cock that i missed so, so much.

I let my fingers go with a delicate pop and traced them down my stomach to meet my center. I bit down on my lip as i slid them over my clit and guided them towards my entrance. Carefully, i eased one in, getting just to the knuckle before attempting the second one. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the mirror as i started to thrust and wiggle my small fingers as deep as they could go. I felt his hand drift to my lips, mimicking my previous motions, forgoing wetting his own fingers and instead shoving them in my mouth instead. It was quickly filled with three of them, almost making me gag on the rough invasion. He thrusted them faster than i could keep up but I swallowed as best as I could, my tongue giving attention to each of their lengths. While his hand kept busy with my mouth, I continued coaxing my cum from within me, knowing I would need every last bit of it for what I wanted him to do.

He was working his own bites into my skin now, digging his teeth into my inner thigh. His mouth was so close to where i desired him most that I couldn’t help but try and buck my hips towards him. He slapped my thigh then, right over the fresh wet bite, making it sting. I whimpered around his fingers just as he pulled them out. I broke the string of spit, wiping my lips as I hated the mess he made me make. “That hasn’t changed,” He swallowed back a small groan as he fisted the head of his cock within his wet fingers. “I won’t do that.”

I rolled my eyes and propped my heel onto his shoulder, getting better access to my entrance. I continued to pump my fingers, forcing my walls to stretch around them. They were nothing compared to Johnny but I could at least tease him with the little show I was putting on. With each trust I would scissor myself open, gaping my eager entrance just a bit before spreading my lips open. The sight made Johnny rut into his hand faster, filling his palm fully. “You’re still such a punk.” I dug the tip of my stiletto into his shoulder as I filled myself again with my fingers. He pushed back against the heel and grabbed at my hips roughly.

“I just like you to beg and never give you the satisfaction.”

I barely had time to pout because he slammed into me so swiftly that my body shook with the force. I wrapped my arms around him tight, a high pitched squeak was all i could manage to let out as I was too afraid that even with the music blaring outside everyone could hear me scream. I left no part of his shoulder blades unmarked by my nails, adding spite into each one. Being fucked open like this was excruciatingly intoxicating, so raw and full of hunger that I could barely process it all. My head was tossed back, my body bouncing against his. My leg remained propped on his shoulder allowing him to dig as deep as he could go.

My hands shifted to his hair, pulling with all my might and earning me the hardest slam yet. My thighs shook with the intensity and tears were edging around the corners of my eyes. He mimicked my pull, grabbing a fistfull of my curls to give him access to mar my shoulders. Unlike him, i despised getting my hair pulled and it only edged me further. I tried to break free from his iron grip but he was relentless. It was like he never wanted to let me go no matter how tight I already was against him. I distracted him with kisses, whimpering like a helpless puppy against him and begging him for more while my hand wrapped around his. I pulled him away, little by little, and transferred his grip to my neck. My scalp still throbbed and I’d much rather feel that strong grip preventing the air from escaping my lungs.

He stilled for a moment, finally easing away from me. I could see him weighing his options and if he could really go through with it. Our moans dissipated into heavy pants as I waited for him. He chewed on his bottom lip, his free palm rubbing up and down my thigh. I looked up at him, my eyes pleading and matching my coy beg. “Please daddy?” I mewled. I covered my mouth quickly, realizing that I had actually uttered that word to him. Heat rose to my cheeks as there was no way to take them back. I tried not to look at him; i couldn't bare to show him my embarrassment. Even though he said he may like it we were still testing the waters and i chose tonight of all times to say it.

My panicked thoughts were stopped when Johnny ripped me off the counter and turned me around, pulling out from me momentarily. He then shoved my ass back against his hips tearing through me again and making me grip the counter to try and steady myself. I was practically bent over, my knees hitting the cabinets below, as he pressed against my back leaving me helplessly trapped. His fingers finally clenched around my throat, suffocating me in the most sinful way. My eyes fell closed and I smirked loving every minute of him destroying me. With his lips close to my ear I heard him pant heavily. “Why do you make me go crazy, Eri?”

“Because,” I rasped, trying to speak as much as I could. “You asked for it remember? I guess we’re both fucked in the head for torturing each other like this.” I swallowed against his fingers as i pressed myself back against him following his movements. My thighs were starting to quiver and my lungs burned in need. Sweat beaded across my forehead as my body felt like it was on fire especially with Johnny crushing me. His unoccupied hand crept between my thighs and circled my clit, even kicking my legs open further to gain more access.

“That’s for damn sure.” He chuckled lowly. “Spread yourself so I can see how good I’m fucking you.”

“Don’t...be so-” I winced as It almost stung to talk. “G-gross.” I gave in and tapped on his forearm, begging him to let me go. He unfurled his fingers and forced my arms behind my back to rest on my ass. I gulped down air, finally being able to expand my chest fully. Johnny seemed determined to take my breath away anyway with another violent slam.

“Do it.” I felt his lips press several kisses down my spine as if he was trying to convince me. I practically growled, trying to snap bites at him when his kisses got close to my shoulders. He caught my lip in his teeth paying me back for how harshly I had bitten him earlier. I winced and tried pulling away only making the pain much worse. He was doing in on purpose and i knew he wouldn't let go until i complied with his order. With a blow to my pride and heaps of embarrassment i pulled apart my cheeks and let him see how deep his cock was forcing me open. He finally pulled away from my lip and i could taste the faintest hint of blood.

The sound that came from deep within his throat as he watched me made my entire body tingle. God that sound- a little primal and angry but still so hungry to cum and feel me clench around him. My body did just that, tensing my walls as I clawed at his wrist and begged him to keep filling my clit with pleasure. He landed a hard smack to my ass, most likely punishment for ruining his view with my desperation. My body jerked forward, my legs creeping onto my tiptoes and pushing me to my orgasm. I covered my mouth quickly, screaming into my skin instead of letting the whole party know how good he made me feel. I pressed my forehead to the counter trying to sap up the coolness of the fake tile.

Johnny barely let me rest through the small aftershocks and my cum spread across my thighs. He pulled me to the floor forcing me onto my knees. The angels were on his side today because I would’ve bitten his dick clean off but my subspace overrode my brattiness as soon as those chocolate eyes glared down at me I was a pathetic puddle at his mercy and he didn’t even have to ask. My lips parted for him and he pushed his way through, practically hitting the back of my throat. It was more than i could handle and I tried to get some breathing room but his hand remained on my shoulder, pressing me into place. I clawed at his hips as my tongue crawled along his shaft and whenever his tip would meet the edge of it. He was singing praises to me, as if my mouth was an entity to pray to. I could feel just the beginnings of his cum slip into my mouth as his hand switched to the back of my neck. His thighs flexed under my palms and my name came with a guttural groan. Though that was enough of a warning I still wasn’t prepared for the thick ropes that coated my throat.

I shoved his hips away and slammed my hand over my mouth, trying my damndest not to hurl his musky bitter taste back up. Reluctantly, I swallowed and shuddered hating the way it slid down my throat. Jesus, why did he cum so much?! He touch returned to a gentleness though my eyes were filled with venom.

“A little warning would have been nice!”

“Sorry! I thought it was obvious! Are you okay?”

I sighed and got up slowly, bracing myself on the counter. “Yeah, no, just peachy. Can’t walk but what else is new.” I wiped my mouth then noticed something. “Johnny?”

He was starting to pull up his underwear when he looked at me. “What?”

“Did you...did you not use a condom?”

He froze. “Oh….”

“Yeah, oh! Oh my god. That’s like my one rule!” I covered my face trying not to think about how flustered it made me.

“Well...I mean you swallowed so...nothing’s gonna happen.” He continued getting dressed before heading over to the sink to splash cold water on his face.

“Yeah, but…” I blushed harder and turned away from him. Though I was sore as hell, it did feel really good. I had never had sex with anyone like that before and now that it was with Johnny I had the irritating idea that it was somehow special. I warned myself to throw that idea out. Nothing was special. He was just a fucking forgetful idiot. I pushed my hair back before looking in the mirror to see the kind of damage my sweat had done to my makeup. I caught Johnny looking at me from his reflection. “What?”

He smiled a little and leaned in to steal a kiss from me. It caught me off guard and I pulled away just a bit only to have him chase my lips. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close making sure I couldn’t escape. I giggled and pawed at his chest trying to stop his continuous onslaught of sweet pecks. “Stop that!”

“What I can’t kiss you now? You like it.” He blew me a kiss and winked which made me roll my eyes.

“Why are you a dork? You were literally fucking me raw and shoving your dick down my throat and now you’re all soft. What gives?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just something that you bring out of me.” He shrugged and placed another kiss on my lips, this time not as playful as before. I exhaled softly and let myself get wrapped up in the romance of his kiss. I held onto him, allowing his tongue to glide against mine and make my heart flutter. We stayed in each others arms for awhile until I realized that if we kept this up we would be stuck in this bathroom for probably another hour. I pulled away reluctantly. “Hey...um, we should get back out there before anyone notices.”

“I’m sure they noticed anyway. I don’t think I was that subtle.” He laughed.

“Probably not. It’s kind of hard to be sneaky when you’re 6 feet tall and an idiot.”

“Doesn’t help that I trip on everything either.” He set a kiss on my forehead and adjusted his clothes, making sure he was ready to go back out and rejoin the party. I let him leave, still having to clean up myself and get my clothes back on. He closed the door softly and I made quick work of wiping myself down and shimmying back into my bodycon skirt. It was when I went to fix my makeup that I heard yelling outside the door. I swung it open, stumbling out a bit and saw Rixi land a hard slap to Johnny’s cheek. Fuck.

“Are you serious?!” She screamed.

Johnny ran his hand over his face and looked like he was trying with all his might to gather his patience. Christ, was I actually a homewrecker and helped with cheat? God, I didn’t even think of that in the heat of the moment. My stomach started to churn instantly as I was wracked with guilt. He had said she wasn’t his girlfriend but maybe he was lying just to hook up with me. Oh god, I wanted to throw up. I felt a grip on my arm and looked up to see Yuta beside me. “Eri, what the hell did you do?”

“I-I…” I couldn’t even think of words to explain or excuse my actions. My mouth just made motions until I snapped it shut and looked away. What would I even tell him that wasn’t the obvious with the marks along my neck? Yuta face palmed and gave me a great sigh of disappointment.

“Can’t say I’m surprised.” He mumbled making me feel worse about the whole situation. I stared at my feet helplessly wishing that Quinn would come get me and take me home.

“Cut it out!” I heard Johnny say.

“Whoa, fuck!” Yuta let me go and went over to to the commotion. I saw Rixi still putting her hands on Johnny though he was trying to deflect her attacks. Yuta was trying to separate the two but Rixi shoved him back. I could understand why she was mad of course. She had every right to be. But hitting anyone wasn’t going to solve anything. Johnny’s face was already red and shirt overstretched with all the pulling she was doing to it. It was garnering attention from the partygoers and eyes were split between me and the commotion. I felt like i had a giant scarlet letter on my back and the shady whispers weren’t helping. As i was trying to take the opportunity to escape I heard more yelling and a loud bang.

“Dude cut it out!”

Johnny was against the wall now and Yuta was trying his best to still get a handle of the situation, Taeyong had stepped in and the music cut out. Everyone was walking on eggshells, teetering around the morals of hitting a woman. Something clicked within me and I pieced together what was going on. She wasn’t just mad, she was purposefully attacking him, landing multiple hits and that was something I wouldn’t take. I stormed over, shoving Yuta out the way and grabbing Rixi by the shirt. She had a few inches on me but I was far from scared.

“Go ahead, lay a hand on him again.” I growled. She shoved me back hard, making me stumble back into Yuta. My anger boiled over and I launched myself at her just as the chants for a fight started. Taeyong caught me and held me back.

“ERI! Go the fuck home!”

I tried pushing him away but he only held onto me tighter. “Are you just gonna let this happen?!”

“You're a shit starter and i’m not gonna have a fight break out and the cops called at my fucking party. Go. Home.”

“Me a shit starter!? Don't you see what she's doing to him?!”

“You're the one who had to go and sleep with him to begin with! Now leave.” He let me go then as i almost went lifeless at his words. It hurt more than anything especially because I knew it was probably my fault. I stepped back and turned on my heels, grabbing my coat off the nearby couch, before running out the door. I pushed through the front door of the apartment complex and frantically searched in the dark for my car. I dug my hand through my coat pocket and fished them out, clicking on the key fob to see my headlights glowing. Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks.

“Wait up!” I heard from behind me. I kept walking, refusing to stop for him. Of course he followed me. He was just planning to make things worse.

“Leave me alone!” I shouted back at him. I got to my car and grabbed a hold of the handle, swinging the door open. He ran to catch up to me and held onto the door, preventing me from closing it.

“Please wait.”

“Wait for what?! I was stupid and fucked you when I knew you had a girlfriend-”

“She isn’t my girlfriend!”

“Why the fuck do you keep saying that!?”

“Because she-!” He sighed. “I have to tell you something. Something important but not here. Come to my place?”

“Why should I?”

“I think you need to know the truth about me and Rixi.”

--

Ten/Eri Chat

Ten: (Spotify Link) Break Up with your Girlfriend, Im Bored- Ariana Grande

Ten: (Spotify Link) Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

Ten: (Youtube Link) LEMONADE Full Album Beyonce

What are you doing????

Ten: (Spotify Link) Thank you, next- Ariana Grande

Tennnnnnnn. What. are. You. doing????

Ten: I’m helping you create a playlist so you can cry/get over Johnny

Ten: And hurry up and get in my bed

Ten: But I’m being a good friend first

Oh my god, i’m going to snap your little neck

Ten: Which diva phase are you in, crying like adele, hoeing like ariana, or i’m gonna kill you like beyonce?

I’m in my “im gonna block Ten” phase.

Ten: Wack, i’m perfect and you love me.

Ten: Second question though

Ten: Want to go to the club with me tonight?

What club? For what? I just worked a 6 hour

Ten: So? Get your good bra out and lets get fucked up and make out with everyone

Ten: You deserve it.

Ten: and duh, gay club downtown. Who has time for boring hetero clubs

I don’t even think i’ve been to a straight club. What are the heteros like Ten? They’re a mystery to me

Ten: Ask your boyfriend

Ask all the girls you slept with. And all those jocks you blew in high school

Ten: Hey! At least they were on the DL. it counts as gay. Anyway we can dance on the stripper poles when we’re drunk and make poor decisions and record them on snapchat

Ten: cmooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn

Fine. I guess I can go.

Btw i’m in between ariana and beyonce

--

The Boys Group Chat

Taeil: Ok ok ok ok

Taeil: We need to talk about what the fuck is going on

Taeyong: You mean Johnny and his GIRLFRIEND????

Yuta: what even in the actual fuck was that all about? I was so confused.

Taeyong: at least you didn’t get spit on by jae

Ten: Or get all your toys dumped on you lmaoooooooo😂😂😂😂

Yuta: SHUT UP

Yuta: I DIDN’T THINK SHE WAS GONNA DO THAT

Taeyong: you know she did it on purpose because she wanted to make a show out of it

Taeil: careful ty. Ur jungwoo is showing.

Taeyong: shut up it’s not even like that.

Ten: so much spite for such a small body.

Ten: but now that johnnys got a girlfriend maybe she’d want to fuck you again

Taeyong: it’s srsly not like that you shit

Yuta: wait so like...is he out the group chat though? We literally only fuck around. None of us have ever gotten girlfriends or anything

Yuta: not like since h.s anyway

Taeil: its not like were a cult or something

Taeil: we can talk about who we fuck still

Taeil: and trade pics

Jae: you guys don’t know what ur talking about

Jae: just drop it

Ten: how can we drop it?!

Ten: literally Johnny has fucked around more than all of us

Yuta: that’s a lie but ok go off

Ten: ANYWAY

Ten: he’s fucked around a lot and he’s never been tied down so what gives?

Jae: its more complicated than you think

Taeyong: how is it complicated. theyre together right?

Jae: yeah but its still not that simple

jae: just drop it

Jae: i’m trying to handle it

Taeil: handle what????

Taeil: wtf is all this cryptic ass shit???

Jae: im not in a place to tell anyone really

Ten: is he like getting abused lol

Ten: NOT LOL

Ten: but you know what i mean

Jae: i gotta go.

Jae: just don’t talk about shit that you know nothing about

Taeil: OK BUT THIS DOESN’T ANSWER ANYTHING OH MY GOD

Lucas: so like idk whats going on with johnny

Taeyong: neither do we

Lucas: but eri was pissed.

Ten: no shit

Lucas: but i managed to calm her down

Lucas: me and quinn

Lucas: together

Yuta: wait a minute you got a fuckin angry threesome out of all of this?????

Yuta: NO FAIR

Lucas: a lot happened lol

Lucas: a lot a lot

Taeil: goddammit lucas

Taeyong: what’s your score at now?

Lucas: for eri?

Taeyong: duh.

Lucas: does the bj count? Multiple orgasms in one go?

Taeil: bj's fine, no to the mult orgasms

Lucas: lets see, there was like once or twice in between some stuff so including the bj and the threesome like 4 for Eri and like 12 for quinn

Yuta: fuck i’m behind. I only have 2

Taeil: We’ve had three lessons so thats what i got👅👅👅👅

Ten: I’ve been busy with dance practice so i got 3 too. We got drunk at the club and fucked after

Taeyong: good going idiot

Lucas: ok but you’re losing at 0

Taeyong: I’M NOT PLAYING

Ten: 👀👀👀👀👀

Johnny: quit talking about her like that.

Johnny: i’m dead serious

Johnny: she’s not some piece of meat to fuck with

Ten: ooohh daddy johnny is starting to show

Ten: careful, you might be getting a new girlfriend soon

[imagines-forthe-soul]

Can I still request nsfw alphabet, if so can I get one for Shinsou, Mei, or Monoma [BNHA]?

Hope it’s okay, but I decided to do Monoma for this since he is my BABY DADDY!

_________________

Monoma Neito: 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex):

Aftercare with Monoma always has a good chance of turning into another heated round of sex. He is very physical and loving when it comes to aftercare, running his hands over your body to soothe out any kinks or bruises you may have, his mouth pressed against your neck as he whispers sweet nothings to you and plants kiss after kiss against your swollen and flushed skin. His touch is so hot and loving, hands always seeming to find the right spot to lay upon that will make the steamy fire within you rekindle and get you up and ready to be taken by him again.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

On himself, he loves his eyes the most. He enjoys the way he can trick and deceive people with only his eyes or hide his emotions from those who may be trying to pry into him. Although, what he loves most is how quickly he can make you come undone by just looking at you. Those intense blue hues stare down at you, clouded over this lust all and only for you will make you melt on the spot and he loves every moment of it.

On you, he likes your lips the most. Oddly enough, he doesn’t like it for sexual reasons (not that he doesn’t think of it from time to time). He loves your lips because of how round and plump they are, they’re absolutely kissable and it’s all he can ever think about. The way your lips move to form words or to say his name always makes him feel as though he is floating above the clouds. Whenever you talk, his eyes always seem to drift to your lips, a small smile forming on his own. He feels himself falling deeper and deeper in love with you whenever he see your lips moving, or when he sees you bite them, or even when you let him bite them.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Monoma is a dirty, kinky, disgusting boyo okay!! But he is so in a gentlemanly kind of way… sort of… not really. His cum is a little on the runnier side but doesn’t taste all that bad and knowing that (how he knows that, that’s up to you) he will want to cum in your mouth and watch you swallow it. It turns him on greatly to see you swallow his load so happily after he’s given you a good fucking. Besides that though, he loves seeing his cum on any part of your body, watching as it pours down you, making a mess of you and marking you as his own

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would like to have his own sex chamber when he gets older for him and his wife. He can’t wait to get the chance to have his own house were he can install a personalized sex chamber for you both to have your fun in. He can imagine having all sorts of toys and playthings in there for you both to try out and experiment with. On his more stressful days he can picture you already in there, a bow on your sweet little innocent head just waiting for him to claim you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s only ever had sex once in his life with some older woman he met at one of his mother’s parties. It wasn’t the best sex in his opinion (not that he can really compare it to anything else) but the woman was pretty helpful in teaching him a thing or two that he can use in the future. For the most part he does know what he is doing, but once he has a partner he has an emotional connection with, then he will do and learn a lot more to please them.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He loves any position that will allow him to see his partner’s face or that allows for a lot of petting. Monoma is a pretty physical guy and loves to be able to caress his partner in anyway he can both inside and outside of the bedroom. Being able to run his hands over your sides, breasts, hands, stomach, anything really will make him feel so energized and hot during sex. He is hardly ever able to keep his hands off you at times like these. Now when it comes to seeing your face, he just loves seeing you bite your lip to keep your moans at bay, or seeing your face flush a deep red whenever he hits the right spot.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He isn’t really goofy during sex but he can be playful. He likes to make you smile and giggle but not because he has said something funny, but mainly through his actions. He will nuzzle his nose against different parts of your body to tickle you and make you laugh, or playfully flick your nose with his tongue, but that’s about it. Other than that, he is usually serious about sex.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Monoma keeps himself exquistly neat down there. Hair doesn’t exactly bother him unless it is causing him discomfort or pain and usually leaves the majority of his hair alone, but will give it a light trim from time to time to make sure the hairs don’t get caught anywhere and to keep things even. He isn’t ashamed or embarrassed of doing it either. If you so happen to walk in on him giving his pubes a cut with baby scissors, he’ll just ask you if you want a trim too or if you mind getting him some aloe gel so he can shave a little on the sides.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He has romance coming out of his ass. Sex with Monoma will always be romantic and full of love and genuine affection. More often than not, you two will end up crying as you make love to each other, arms wrapped tightly around the other and moans mixing together. He makes sure to set the mood before hand or to at least say something suave or sexy beforehand or to at least say something suave or sexy before you two get started so that you’re set in some type of mood to make sex more enjoyable. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t do it often but when he does, he likes to take his time and dirty talk to himself. He loves dirty talk in general, but doing it when he is pleasing himself is so sexy to him, especially if he is watching something (usually a video you have sent him previously). He’ll both encourage himself and the person he is watching to touch themselves, stroking his cock slowly but in such a firm grip. He’ll edge himself until he can’t take it anymore, ruining his orgasm by cumming too soon, making a mess of his hand and lower stomach. He always makes sure to send you a picture of video of the aftermath.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Phone sex

Recording

Spanking

Dirty talk

Light BDSM

Roleplay

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He likes to mainly keep things in the bedroom, but if the mood strikes him, he’ll be down to doing it somewhere semi-public like at the school or maybe in the common room or in a restaurant bathroom. While he does love the thrill of possibly being caught, he always makes sure that you both won’t be, usually taking you in semi-public places when he knows people won’t be around for a while.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Having you yell at him is a good way to get him motivated. He loves it when you raise your voice at him and put him in his place. It turns him on in more ways than he can describe. He can only imagine how frustrating it is for you to have him be so turned on by your anger and yelling but he just can’t help himself. You look so sexy when you’re mad and all he wants to do is pin you to a wall and fuck you so that you’re screaming in name in pleasure instead of anger.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pulling his hair. There is nothing Monoma hates more than having his hair pulled. His scalp is pretty sensitive and it hurts pretty bad to comb his hair let alone brush it. If you pull his hair during sex, chances are he is going to get pissed off and want to stop to soothe his scalp.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

While he does take me as someone who would be more of a giver, I just don’t think that would be right and I don’t want to do my Baby Daddy wrong. He is all about having you on your knees, mouth around his cock and sucking away at it like your life depends on it. He loves how submissive it makes you look and how you are doing this only for his benefit and pleasure. However, he isn’t half bad when it comes to giving you head and is pretty generous when doing so. He makes sure to eat you out if he ended things too quickly for himself or as a reward for you being such a good girl.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to take his time when it comes to sex, but the twist to this is that he can either take his time being rough with you or by being loving and gentle with you. Either way, you’re going to have a pretty good time because both feel amazing.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is up for quickies every once in awhile but not too often. He’d much rather have a pretty long time to admire and love you down fully. He could go for a quickie maybe 3-4 times a month and nothing more than that.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He loves taking risks. Trying out new things during sex and testing boundaries and getting thrills is all part of the experiencing and he finds it to be a great bonding activity when it comes to sex. Anything you have in mind, he will be down for trying and he hopes that the same goes for him in regards to you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He has an average amount of stamina for a teen boy. He can go for about two rounds and lasts 15-20 minutes tops. He likes to draw things out and build you up to a point in which you are practically begging him to fuck you before he finally gives you what you want.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You bet your ass he has toys. He has two dildos, one for him and one for you both to share, and a vibrator. He likes being able to use them on you and vice versa since they make things more exciting between you both in the bedroom. It sexy seeing you pleasure yourself with one of his toys as he jerks himself off. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is a major tease. If there is an opportunity to tease you, you can bet that Monoma is going to take it. He loves having you beg and whine for him, turning you into this needy, desperate mess of a person just for him. It turns him on seeing you so desperate for his touch, for his body, and simply just for him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He doesn’t get all that loud but the sounds he makes are pretty sexy. They’re usually deep low moans that start in his chest and seem to echo when they reach his mouth, followed by a soft whisper of your name.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Doesn’t like his after sex bed hair. He can’ manage it the day after because it sticks up in all sorts of different places and it’s so stiff due to all the dried sweat in it. Everyone can always tell when he has had sex because of it and it’s more annoying to him than embarrassing.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Such a pretty cock this boy has. Now, it isn’t the longest or widest, but damn is it fucking pretty. When fully erect it stands at 4.8 inches and it has pretty average girth to it. The tip of his cock is always flushed a soft pink color both when it it hard and soft, and the color only seems to seep lower and lower to the base of his cock the longer he has been aroused for. It’s all smooth and even skin tones and his veins aren’t all that noticeable. It curves upwards slightly as well.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a pretty average sex drive, usually ready to have sex about 2-4 times a week during the beginning stages of your relationship, but as you two continue to date, it might increase to 3-5 times a week.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t fall asleep until after you two have had some mild yet sweet pillow talk. He likes to talk to you after sex as he caresses your body, asking you how everything was and if you are okay. When you’re conversation comes to an end, that’s when he’ll go to sleep, letting you know just in case you decide to stay up longer than he does.

Wanna see some other shit I’ve written?

[daddychims]

The Muse Finale!

Took out the links because of Tumblr playing around with my sanity, Please go to my master list for other parts!

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, Final

Genre: Smut, Pwp, Author AU

Pairings: Fuckboy!Tae X Author! Reader X Colleague! Jungkook

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You find yourself in a dead end , contemplating if you should just quit your job as an author in a big publishing company when your boss demands you to add more “Edge” to your writing. But your best friend is quick to give you a hand out of your misery, suggesting he could be your “Muse” for the night to help you in desperate times.

Word Count : 4k

Warning:

Smut, Dom!tae , Fuckboy!tae , implied DDLG , Cum play , Throat fucking, Gagging , a bit of Breath play, Choking Kink, Thigh riding, rough sex, Unprotected sex, Spanking, daddy kink, alcohol use, swearing, PWP, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Pure filth basically! Read at your own risk!

A.N. This is the last part guys! I can't believe I managed to finish this fic! Thanks for reading this story so far, I wanna give a big shoutout to those who continued to support me and encouraged me to finish this! 

Special shoutout to my Floofy Babe, who proof read this and gave me inspiration to continue writing this! (she’s not on tumblr but I’m still gonna mention her!)

@littlebangtanwriter for her endless support and asks whenever I update

@afangirllikeme-blog for always providing me quality memes LOL

@choppe96 for always bombarding my messages with supportive feedback on this story!

And to all those people sent in comments, feedbacks and asks about this story!

"Get on your hands and knees," he demands, keeping his eyes fixed on you carefully

You look at him for a few moments before turning around and settling into his requested position, keeping the weight of your body on your elbows and knees.

"Ass up for me," he orders, hands gripping your ass and guiding it up against his body "I'm gonna give you 10 spanks as your punishment babe, if you take them well you'll be rewarded after."

You remain silent, considering the weight of his words when his hand grazes over your ass cheeks.

"I need to know if you're fine with this Y/N," he murmurs carefully, tone suddenly much lower and serious before blending into his act again "Do you want Daddy to punish you?"

"Y-Yes Daddy," your voice trembles and he gives you hum of approval

*Smack*

The first impact comes to your flash abruptly and your body stumbles forward on the mattress while a muffled moan rips through your lips. The delicious sting spreads over your ass cheek and you can feel the arousal dripping down the side of your inner thighs from pleasure.

"Do you know why you need this punishment?"

"Yes Daddy, I was a bad girl-Aaah*

*Smack*

"Right," he mutters in approval "Bad girls need to be punished to learn their lesson. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Daddy."

*Smack*

"Will be acting like a thirsty whore again, babe?"

"Never Dadd-Aaah!"

*Smack*

"Good, remember the pain next time you wanna get on your knees for another man's cock like the filthy slut baby."

"I will Daddy," you whisper uncertain, the slight genuinity in his voice making you question whether all this is just an act or he is saying all those things seriously

*smack*

You whine as the pain starts to spreads in your body, your core dripping from the pleasurable sensation shooting in your nerves.

You would have never expected such ruthless treatment would turn you on but somehow being the receiving end of Taehyung's seemingly cruel punishment was turning you on far more than you could ever imagine.

"Can you take more Babe?" he murmurs, hand gently touching the red marks spread on your bottom "you don't have to-"

"No," you voice out, sticking your ass up towards him "I can take it, Daddy, give me more please."

He gulps, as his nervous hand raises up to come back down on your ass but he stops midway and instead leans in to spread gentle kisses on the red flesh of your ass cheek.

"Fuck, you're so good for me babe," he breathes out, plastering butterfly kisses on the abused flesh "So good for your Daddy."

You jolt in surprise, feeling the gentle touch of his lips on your ass making you whimper from the soothing sensation. His lips then trace back to your core, parting your ass cheeks, the cold air making you shiver.

He plasters some gentle kisses on your inner thigh. He observes the dripping lips of your pussy, throbbing and red, inviting him to sink his cock between them.

"You were so good for me babe," he murmurs as his fingers spread your pussy and stretch you ready for him, "I think Its time Daddy rewards you, babe."

"Yessss," your voice trails off weakly as your anticipation for your high finally seems to come to an end "Please Daddy, Please."

He positions himself against your body and lines himself over your dripping cunt. Spreading your lips with two fingers, he palms himself before sliding it over your dripping entrance teasingly.

"Nghh, Daddy please," you beg, losing your mind as your walls clench around air "please fuck me."

"You want Daddy's cock in your cute little pussy?" He teases with a smirk, enjoying the way your body moves in his accord

"Yes, Daddy Ye-AAAHH" you cry as he sinks his pulsing member deep inside your walls and your body trembles as he slowly moves his way in.

"Just like that baby," he coos watching his length disappear inside you "I knew you'd take me well."

"Taehyung," you call out, hand reaching back with your hand to hold his thighs desperately "Fuck …. give me- give me a second …"

He immediately ceases his movement as he realizes you're having difficulty with his size, your walls squeezing his cock tightly testing his self-control of ramming himself inside you. He leans closer, careful to not push his length any further as he comes down in level with your ear and whispers

"We can stop if its too much babe," he murmurs the reassuring words as he tucks your hair to the side carefully as he observes your painful expression

"No," you shake your head, the sensation of your walls slowly accommodating to him setting your pleasure off to another delicious start "Just a moment, just-" you sharply inhale  as he shifts slightly away "No, Tae, Please …" you turn around facing him as your hand comes to hold his chin against your shoulder "I can take it, Please." You beg desperately

"I don’t want to hurt you!" He murmurs, words tinted by concern

"I know," you flash a grimacing smile to him, hoping it would convince him "You can move now."

"Are you sure?" He murmurs, nose digging deep in your neck as he murmurs ever so gently "I can always make you cum with my fingers-"

"No," you groan in frustration as you move your hip back to him "Fuck me, please Tae, Fuck me!" you demand helplessly 

"Alright," he grunts, voice strained as he tries his best to control his urges to fuck senselessly into you "I'm gonna move now."

He thrusts his hip forwards slowly, each movement of his hip parting your pussy further apart as your walls slowly adjust to his ginormous girth.

"F-Faster," you breath out, hip bucking back to his thrusts "Faster Tae."

"As you wish babe," he fastens his pace, hip snapping against your walls in an insane pace, hitting every sweet spot in your walls.

"Yes, Yes," you cry as you dig your head in the mattress, the muffled word echoing in the air "Right there!"

"You like it, babe?" He asks as your pleas flutter his ego, hand reaching forward to toy with you clit "You like me pounding your tight little cunt?"

"YES," you cry, the bundle of nerves being toyed, shooting pleasure all around your veins "Its so fucking good,"

"You wanna cum on my cock?" he asks as he leans closer and presses his lips against your ear "You wanna cream Daddy's cock babe?"

"YES YES," you nod frantically "Please let me cum Tae!"

"Cum on my cock," he urges, fingers flicking your clit at the same pace as his thrust in your pussy "Cum all over and make a mess babe."

You scream your orgasm out as the pleasure takes over you, body withering and shaking with waves of pleasure under him. Your sensitive core burns with overstimulation as he continues to fuck through your orgasm, his thrust becoming sloppy and messier by each second.

"F-Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he warns as he presses your hip against his body "I'm gonna fill your tight cunt with my seeds."

"YES," you nod in approval, moving your hip to facilitate his thrust despite the burning sensitivity between your legs "Cum inside me Tae, fill my pussy please."

He suddenly ceases his movement, drawing a whimper from your lips as he retracts his body and falls back sitting on the bed "I can't," he breathes out in a vulnerable tone.

You immediately turn your body around with bewildered expression covering your face "What's wrong Tae?" You ask him in a dazed tone, not bearing with the immense craving to be filled by him

"I can't Y/N," he shakes his head, avoiding your eyes "I can't do it," he gulps nervously as he shifts away from you as if he is scared of touching your body again "I can't continue this."

"This was your idea," you snap back, brushing your hair away from your face "You can't just chicken out now. This was all about you getting your payback, for you to cum."

"I'm s-sorry," he hesitates as he grabs a blanket and wraps it around your body to cover your quickly, "I think I'm too drunk- No, I was too drunk when we came here-"

"Is it my body?" You ask in a quiet tone, voice weaker with embarrassment "Do I turn you off?"

His widened eyes travel to you, not believing your interpretation of his actions "What are you talking about?"

"I knew it," you nod as you quickly cover your body with the blanket he wrapped you with "After all, you're Kim Tae, you wouldn't cum if your girl is not Victoria's Secret models." you chuckle trying to mask your embarrassment

"You need to stop your bullshit," he yells back as he raises on his knees in rage "it has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is wrong with you?" You demand leaning closer to him "Why do you play this game of push and pull Tae?" You ask, with furrowed eyebrows, anger taking over your words "why did you stop me from fucking Jungkook, only to bring me and make me fall on knees for you to just say you can't  cum with me here."

"Stop fucking talk about him," he yells back furiously as he cards his hair back from his face "I didn't plan for things to turn this way. And I- 'm sorry if I messed up your plans with Jungkook." he continues with venom in his words, as if he doesn’t really mean what he's saying.

"Tae-"

You watch him with trembling gaze as he starts to build the walls between you, although the physical distance between your bodies is quite short.

"It was a mistake," he declares looking at you sternly "I can't just fuck you and pretend to be your best friend tomorrow," he hesitates before looking away and forcing the words out "I'm gonna sleep in the guest room, you sleep here."

You then watch as he gathers a few pieces of clothing before exiting the room you're in, leaving you all alone with your thoughts there.

  -

   You wake up to a throbbing headache pounding on your temple, squirming on the bed sheet to sniff the familiar scent of Taehyung's Giorgio Armani cologne you bought for his birthday.

You sigh as the memories of the night before flashes through your eyes, remembering how you fell asleep thinking of the guy abrupt leave after your scandalous time together. Somehow you wish that his warm embrace was what you woke up to instead of the scent of his cologne.

You scoot over the bed, tiptoeing your way to his drawer to grab an extra large shirt that can cover your body for now before leaving the room to find him.

You footsteps cease as you hear his deep voice reaching you from the living room, conversing with someone and from the lack of response you can tell he's on the phone.

"Hyung, I understand," he snaps in anger, trying to keep his voice as quiet as possible "but you need to talk to dad about this, I'm really not sure if this will work,"

You drift closer, hating yourself for eavesdropping when he speaks up again

"I know who she is," He suddenly grunts "Jung Seri, the daughter of JH Group, I've seen her in last year's-"

You're so focused on hearing his words that you dont realize the increase in the clarity as the voice gets closer to you until you see Taehyung standing at the door, staring at you with surprised eyes.

"Hyung," he heaves, observing you carefully "I need to go, I'll talk to you later."

You stay still, gulping nervously as he disconnects the call and examines the situation for a few seconds before abruptly questioning "How long have you been listening?"

"N-Not long," you quickly shake your head defensively "I'm sorry, I was gonna say I'm here-"

"What did you hear?" He interrupts anxiously

"Jung Seri," you pronounce the name, trying your best to hide the slight jealousy that may drip out from your tone "The daughter of JH Group," you bat your eyelids slowly as you mutter "Is she the girl you're marrying?"

"I guess," He shrugs, gaze trembling away from you

"Oh," you breath out, stomach sinking at his simple response as you lose all the words you prepared earlier "Okay."

"My dad wants me to!" he adds as he brings his gaze to you and observes your expression carefully

"I heard about their company," you nod, blinking rapidly to fight the tears "they're pretty rich."

"Y-Yeah," he nods, shoulders slumping down upon your words "They're an affiliate of our company."

"Your dad must like her a lot then," your voice sounds far more bitter than you intend and Taehyung doesn't fail to notice it

"he doesn't care," he responds uninterested "He just wants me to settle down and have kids," he hesitates before continuing, "he says he's getting old and he wants grandchildren before he dies and since I'm not contributing to the company I should at least make babies."

Your heart suddenly drops at the thought of Taehyung having babies, imagining mini versions of him running around the house tugging at the strings of your heart knowing another girl would be sharing that happiness with him.

You suddenly feel a rush of anger through your body, the situation seeming unfair on your end. You were fine with being his best friend, with having only a platonic relationship with him for years.

But he had to go out of his way to change the way you perceive him, tangling you in this complicated tug of war between your feelings only to be declaring another girl will have his babies.

The complicated rush of emotions all surge through you and you find yourself blurting out the words carelessly.

"Then what about me?"

"W-What?"

"Why did you do all those things with me?" You ask defeated, fist clenching by your side "Why did you have to bring me over and fuck me over your sheets?"

"B-Because ... I just thought- I mean, It was about the payback ..." he explains nervously 

"What does that make me then?" You snap back, tears threatening to roll down your cheek "I was your best friend, but after all of this I dont even know where I stand in this relationship ..." you inhale sharply as your gaze wanders on his dazed expression before asking "Or you want me to be your side chick?"

"WHAT?" He asks bewildered by your sudden accusation

"Is that what this is about?" You ask as the sudden realization hits "You want to marry her, but you kind- kinda want to have me as your side chick, like a friends with benefit-Aaah"

He cuts your sentence short as he grips your arms and presses you against the wall, his eyes tingling with rage and fiery.

"That's all you see isn't it?" He asks through gritted teeth "You look at me, and all you ever fucking see is a boy trying to play with girls..." he sighs  "a fuckboy, isn't it?"

"Can you blame me?" You ask, your eyes glazing with fresh tears "You ignore me for days, making me worried sick about you only for me to find you cumming deep in a girl's throat in your VIP room,"

You press your hands against his chest, trying to create some distance "Then you fuck me on your bed, bringing me onto my knees only to tell me you're marrying another girl in the morning who you're probably going to fuck on the same sheets."

"What do you want me to do?" He yells back furiously "My dad wants me to get married and the only girl I ever imagined a future with is dating someone else ... So I'm trying to take it like a man and move on so I at least dont lose her friendship, " he goes silent for a second before staring directly into your eyes "Can't you fucking see I'm trying?"

You furrow your eyebrows, still trying to make sense of his words when he shoots the next question

"Are you serious about Jungkook?" He interrupts you as he looks at you with a serious expression, "Jeon Jungkook, I'm asking do you fucking like him?"

"W-What?" you furrow your eyebrows "Why is he coming into this-"

"Answer my question, how far did you guys go?" He asks "Do you like him?"

"No," you simply shake your head, the train of questions he's bombarding you with not allowing anything but raw truth seeping out your words

"Did you fuck him?" He asks before quickly adding "Other than the bathroom incident, how far did you go with him?" he asks again, face frowning at the mention of the infamous incidence

"Nothing," you quickly stop him "We- It was just that-"

"Alright," he nods, reassured by your responses "So I can still call dibs on you."

"Call dibs on me?" You chuckle awkwardly at his choice of words not believing him "What am I? a candy?"

" I like you Y/N," he shots back in rage, eyes observing your lost expression.

Your reaction is exactly as he expected, eyebrows furrowing closer before your eyes widen in shock.

"Tae … W-What-"

"Right," he nods panting heavy in anger "I like you so fucking much I couldn't see you sucking that bastard's dick, So I brought you back home to suck mine," he scoffs at the irony of his words "I was jealous like a five years old, that's why I need to know if you regret following me here and if you're serious about him."

"Tae," you call for him, thoughts rushing to your brain at an insane speed "Y-You, seriously, You …"

Your voice trails off as you try to digest the words that come one after another, your attempts fail completely as your brain shots back a big error to you. Your thoughts are blank as you try and process the guy's devastated look along with his previous words.

"I can't even cum without imagining your face," he exhales bringing his eyes to you "I'm fucking the "Victoria's secret models","  he quotes you with a bitter tone "But all I can ever think about is you and your God damn face."

"How long-" you ask with a dazed tone "Since when-"

"I dont even remember when it started," he replies, head falling low as he tries to think "I  believe it started when we started going to rehab," he mutters eyes wandering as he reminisces the memories "I used to lay in bed, sore all over from my cravings for those pills and all I could ever think of was your face."

You look at him, listening attentively to his words as you remember the days you used to go to his rehab sessions together. Back then he decided to quit his addictions to the recreational drugs he used to take with his rich friends and you promised to help him go through the process.

You never truly realized how deep he was attached to those pills and how much you neglected him until you followed him to his therapy sessions, watching him scream and tremble from his cravings for the drugs that gave him his highs before.

Deep inside you felt guilty for being so careless about what he did or who he hung out with while you were working your ass off to get recruited in a prestigious company.

So you made sure you'd be with him every step of his heart-wrenching battle with the addiction, ensuring you don’t regret neglecting your best friend ever again.

"It's not my fault," he snaps defensively as he presses your body against the wall "You were always there at my weakest," He breathes out as he watches you carefully "I just wanted to  close my eyes and die and you were on my bed forcing me to eat and drink into another day."

"I-I'm ..." you start, stumbling through the words "I didn't know!"

"Of course you didn't," he scoffs with a bitter smile "I worked so fucking hard to hide it, sleeping with every God damn girl in this town to hide the fact that I want to my best friend you every time she hugs me so sweetly."

You sigh imagining how hard you were making it for him all these years, without even realising you might be torturing the guy with your overly affectionate behaviour, barging into his life and his personal space almost all the time.

"I'm sorry Ta-"

"Cut it," he hisses eyes closing close "That's exactly why I worked so hard, I dont wanna fucking hear you pity me for my feelings," he clenches his jaw "I shouldn't have started this, my jealousy about you and Jungkook got the best of me and I thought with my dick for a moment, I'm sorry-"

"No," you quickly shake your head "I dont regret a thing about last night Tae. We both made a decision and we did it knowing fully what the consequences could be."

He goes silent for a few seconds eyes lowering as his grip on your arms loosen and he stands passively against your body.

"Are you serious about what you said?" you ask with a defeated tone, letting emotions take control of your words "about having a future with me?"

He brings his wavering eyes to you, lips parting "All I ever wanted was to be with you Y/N," he whispers "No matter how many girls came and left my life, It was always you."

��Then let's make babies," you blurt out, the words slipping your tongue before you even chew them properly

"You- You seriously ..." his eyes widen in surprise "What?"

"I wanna be with you Tae ,” you drift closer to him "and if this what it takes for your Dad to accept me, I will have your babies," you then hesitate before biting the corner of your lips shyly and adding "even if he doesn't, I'll probably still have your babies."

"Y/N," he breaths out in disbelief "You want to be with me?" He asks, eyes about to pop out of socket from the weight of your sudden suggestion "Me?"

"Yes," you nod determined "I dont think I have the confidence to let you go Tae," you admit, heart trembling at the thought "I dont think I can trust any other woman to take care of you either."

His expression softens to a sweet smile, eyes glittering with joy for a few seconds before his mischievous aura takes over his features again. He leans closer to your ear with a smirk as he whispers

"You want to have babies huh?" he murmurs making your cheeks heat up from the suggestive words "and I thought your daddy kink was a surprise, Who would have known my baby has an impregnation kink?"

He then grips your thighs firmly, picking you off the floor, legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he settles you on the wall "Since you asked so nicely," he smirks as he hoists his hands around your torso "Daddy will give you babies." He whispers before crashing his lips on yours. 

A.N. Hope you enjoyed this fic! Please comment, reblog and send in asks! love ya’ll! 

[holyfourthofjulyweenieroast]

Notes on Season 15- Part 1 (contains spoilers, are mostly complaints about Torres (and Quinn in Pandora’s Box (Part 1)), and are my personal opinions, don’t @ me)

Since Season 15 started rerunning in Australia on 19 November, I’ve decided to write down things I forgot or would like to emphasise upon:

House Divided

I’m so glad Quinn’s gone, good riddance

Reeves saying NCIS wasn’t allowed to look for Gibbs and McGee, then the dispatch guy looking around at their efforts to do just that was great

Why does Torres have to be so disrespectful, even in court- poor Vance having to witness it

Were Bishop and Jimmy being serious about the phone booth?

Poor Reeves- never lend anything to Torres

I love it when Vance gets angry on the team’s behalf, it’s awesome

Don’t be such a dick, Torres

Jezebel Poppins sort of looks like Britney Spears- sidenote, I wonder how the show comes up with character names

Gibbs’ carving was amazing

Bishop and Reeves look so good together, ugh

St. Nicholas is the patron saint of children- in relation to Torres, that explains a lot

Fuck off with your insulting Reeves, Torres- like you haven’t made a mistake before (and much bigger than letting not-so-relevant information slip)

The committee backing Vance up was awesome

‘hobbies?’ ‘not dying’ amazing

The end scenes were so sweet

Every time Delilah said ‘husband’ and McGee said ‘wife’, I went ‘aww’ inside

McGee had such great lines this episode

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Twofer

Dr. Grace! I love her so much, and her reaction to Gibbs catching her off-guard was awesome

When does Torres not have doubts about Bishop and her competency for just about anything

I almost forgot about Ducky’s ringtone

Ugh, I hate Torres’ macho persona

I don’t get the whole falling-in-love-with-someone-your-S.O.-was-close-to (or falling in love with anyone after your S.O. died, for that matter)

When did Abby make the switch from coffin to casket (or is it a backup or something)? I forgot if it’s been mentioned previously

I was really worried watching the Jimmy-and-the-liver bit for the first time

For some reason, Gibbs and McGee’s basement conversation reminded me of McGee and Tony’s in 3x10

Aww, Ducky getting invited to be honoured as an alumnus was so sweet

McGee’s shrink appointment with Dr. Grace was a really great scene

Dr. Grace and Gibbs have a such great friendship, and this episode was no exception

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Exit Strategy

McGee talking about all the old cases, so nostalgic

I love McGee and Jimmy’s friendship

SPORTELLI! I kind of missed him, not going to lie (I wish his story didn’t end the way it did)

Torres is such an asshole to and about everyone, ugh

Torres’ flower drawing looked more like a hubcap

Aww, Ducky teaching the lecture was so cute

Jimmy standing up for himself, go Autopsy Gremlin

Ducky’s fanclub is way too over-eager

Seriously, Torres? You’re a federal agent, and you think saying you’d steal bearer bonds out loud is a good idea?

Ducky and Jimmy have such a sweet relationship

The plot of this episode sucked, I don’t get why they had to make Sportelli dirty

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Skeleton Crew

Why is Toccata and Fugue the music piece of choice for every spooky TV show scene ever (it’s great, though, don’t get me wrong)

SLOANE! Her entrance is one of the most iconic (and obvious, I caught the ID flash the first time I watched it) ever, plus she looked just so beautiful

McGee talking about Delilah was so cute

Torres is so pigheaded and obnoxious

Abby’s zombie apocalypse kits were such a sweet idea

Abby and Jimmy have such a cute friendship (and the Hamilton bit was hilarious)

Sloane and Vance are such a great brotp from the very first scene

SHUT. UP. TORRES.

I hate it whenever Torres says something along the lines of ‘I’m not trying to be ________, but...’- he uses it as an excuse for his shitty behaviour, and it’s never addressed

‘I don’t believe in absolutes’ well, we know that Sloane’s not a Sith, then (I know the Sith deal in absolutes, but to deal in something, you most likely have to believe in it first)

$300, 000 really isn’t a lot, especially split between two people

The last two Bishop-and-Buckner scenes were sweet, but didn’t make up for his previous behaviour towards her

Akin to 17x06, this episode glossed over the bullying Bishop endured, and how it’s a serious issue

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

The first time I saw this, I instantly knew it was Tony’s doing- how could anyone not

Reeves is so caring and kind, it sucks how Melissa played him

Abby and Reeves (Rabby? Clabby?) were such a great brotp while it lasted

FUCK. OFF. TORRES.

Why is Torres such an asshole? He’s rude and insensitive to everyone, even recovering addicts- how have the writers not been called out for their writing of him yet

I love Sloane so much-she’s awesome

Those tap-lights are horribly hipster and ugly

The end scene in the bullpen was hilarious, and the end scene with Reeves was so emotional and heartbreaking

Rishop’s friendship (not their more-than-friendship, they’re two separate things) was so prevalent in this episode, and it was great to see

This episode had such a powerful message, and was a great instance in the Rule 10 debate

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Trapped

Aww, Jimmy’s so sweet

Torres is so ungrateful and stingy

Torres using work time for personal stuff, not surprising

Reeves’ chess pun was absolutely the best

For some reason, I really love it when Reeves does that thing where he puts his hands behind his back and slightly leans forward

‘The Timinator’ I’m dying

Like Reeves said, Torres always has to one-up everyone else and I hate it

That kid was so sassy, omfG

Bishop knows Reeves so well, and it’s too adorable- how could the writers set up Ellick when Rishop already had an outline

That’s what you get for being such an asshole, Torres, and trying to get it back was one of the lowest things a character has done

I love it when NCIS includes charities (real and based-on-real) and the like in episodes

Words can’t even describe how much I hated Torres in this episode- he was at his worst

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Pandora’s Box (Part 1)- Season 14, didn’t re-air with the other episodes because Part 2 (NOLA) is re-airing in two days from time of writing

Bishop being a fangirl was completely understandable (and relatable)

Good job insulting Abby, Torres- not

I’m gonna try and start saying ‘Aristotle banana split’ in everyday conversation

Poor Abby- such a sucky situation

Quinn is so annoying

JJ looks to old to have a daughter in preschool

‘Dr. Ducky’ TOO ADORABLE

Ducky and Reeves having banter about British things was the best thing ever

Bishop and Reeves are so cute together (also the ‘smart girl’ comment was definitely about her)

Bishop was on the shortlist after all, I’m so proud of her (even though the mission went south)

The NYB memorial wall, so sad

LaSalle (rip)! I just love his Alabama accent

Torres is just such a douche

McAbby is such a great brotp

Why does Torres have to be so dramatic and show-offy

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Burden Of Proof

Yuck, I hate Torres, and even more when he talks about himself

Sloane’s choker top, YES

I hate it when Torres messes with Bishop’s mind and feelings- that’s not how you show you care about someone

Oof, Fornell- it sucks his job was brought into this mess, and that he lost it as a result

I really don’t want to know why ‘feet’ was the first thing that came to Torres’ mind

There’s something to just love about when Vance breaks up Fornell and Gibbs’ arguments

‘Name That Profile’ actually sounds like a pretty fun game

I hate Torres’ innate cockiness- he risks the suspect getting away just so he can put on a show beforehand

Ouch, poor Fornell- it was the wrong decision, and I don’t know if I would’ve done it, but I did get why he did it- the evidence that Hicks killed the Lieutenant was compelling

Poor Gibbs, you can just see the inner turmoil in his head

Aww, Sloane

Fornell, aww- I’ll fight anyone who says he’s an inherently bad person

Hicks really is a great liar to be able to fool a shrink

I really liked the Gabriel Hicks arc, this episode was the first of a few great ones

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Voices

It’s rich of Torres to back up a woman’s side of things

Never stop being awkward and adorkable, Jimmy (adwarkable?)

‘Jack, knock yourself out’ ‘I will, Gibbs’- funniest exchange ever

Ducky lives for the drama and I love it

Collapsing floor during a birthday party- hell of a way to go

Delilah putting up a firewall to prevent McGee from finding out the baby’s gender was so funny

Mike Franks popping up for all of ten seconds was just so iconic

The twins reveal was pretty cute

The foreshadowing in this episode with Sloane and the losing-a-daughter storyline (whether intentional or not) was really good to watch back

The amount of times the word ‘sex’ was said during this episode made me extremely uncomfortable- how hard is it to say ‘gender’ instead

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Ready Or Not

Don’t be such an asshole to Reeves, Torres

The Harrison Ford-themed names were kind of bad, but definitely not as much as they could have been

Abby and Delilah’s friendship has come such a long way, I’m so proud

Aww, Morgan, he was so sweet and didn’t deserve to die

Poor Sloane

McGee making a duplicate comfort kit for Delilah was the most adorable thing ever, and Abby yelling along with her was so funny

Bishop and Reeves always stand and sit so close together, too cute

I remember watching this for the first time and being really shocked when Yorka shot Morgan, especially since it was so early on in the episode

Abby really is a terrible liar

Bishop and Gibbs’ little performance was awesome

I don’t know why they didn’t think about putting Sloane in in the first place

Sloane making snarky comments was awesome

Morgan dying was so sad

Seriously, Torres? Do you want everything to blow up?

Reeves and Torres debating the bomb was hilarious

I loved how Gibbs just straight-up punched the driver in the face

The end scene with the twin-naming was so cute

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

High Tide (originally Ep. 11, but for some reason it aired as Ep. 10)

Torres is so obnoxious and a really bad law enforcer- lives are always more important than the op

Reeves worried about Bishop, so sweet

Torres is such a dick for ignoring Bishop and protocol

Ugh, why is Torres so arrogant and bigheaded- I hate him so much, yuck

How could those girls not know the capital of Maine

Insubordination is Torres’ middle name, and I could’ve watched a whole season’s worth of Vance chewing him out

Bishop’s anger was completely justified, but I wish it wasn’t because of feelings for him

I FUCKING HATE TORRES SO MUCH I WANT TO KILL HIM

Torres absolutely cannot be trusted, Sloane- you know it and so does everyone else

Yuuuck, I hated that part so much, and it didn’t even make sense- Bishop was super-angry at him just before, why would she do a complete 180

What other sort of cop is there, you idiot

Go, Bishop! So badass

Ya think, McGee?

Torres is such an idiot- don’t admit anything to someone who can’t be 100% trusted, and that plot twist was pretty predictable

More like a soft zero

Seriously? What if he died, you dickhead- also the fact that Torres had no backup plan and was only okay because the team saved him shows how self-obsessed and incompetent he is

The fact that the team doubted Torres shows how little he can be trusted, and how little they trust him

There was absolutely no chemistry between Bishop and Torres in this episode (or ever), and words can’t express how much I loathe and despise him and everything about him, which sucks because he could’ve been really well-written

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Dark Secrets (originally Ep. 12, but for some reason it aired as Ep. 11)

I think all babies are pretty ugly, but Johnny and Morgan are cute

It’s just an ID photo, Torres- stop complaining

‘is there a spouse’ Autopsy Gremlin for the gender-inclusive win!

Carol mention! She’s awesome

Bud again! I’m using a lot of exclamation marks, but they’re things to exclaim about

Poor guy- she was a total asshole, lying to and cheating on him

Bishop and Sloane have such a pure relationship

Seriously, Torres? Not everyone dates in high school, and shaming someone about it is pathetic and juvenile (and it doesn’t help if they’re dead, either)

Recording your infidelity exploits isn’t a good idea (infidelity isn’t, full-stop)

I hate how obnoxious and over-confident Torres is

Just another instance of Torres manipulating someone into doing something for him

This was easily one of the most gross and uncomfortable plots I’ve seen, but a good way of showing that it’s not only guys that cheat and lie- girls do as well

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

[nappingtopknot]

Secret Crush - Will Poulter

You didn't want to go to this party. You were enjoying a night in watching TV under a warm blanket and had planned to do absolutely nothing.

But Will is dragging you out of the house. He wasn't much of a partier either but when he was forced to go out he always dragged you along, because no matter what he could count on hiding out in corner just people watching with you.

You phone beeps, it's a text from him saying he was outside. You threw your shoes on and head downstairs.

Will gets got out of the uber holding the door open for you to crawl in. And not long after heading out do you arrive at the party.

You both split up at first. Migrating to your own friend groups. Will makes his way over to his friends, talking about whatever boys talk about.

But his eyes always found their way back you, even in the crowd. He always was checking on you to make sure you were okay and that no one was harassing you.

The truth was Will had fallen in love with you. At first he tried to dismiss it but when you had dated that loser for a little awhile it was the pang of jealousy that hit him whenever you said his name or complained about him, that he realized he couldn't keep lying to himself.

But he would never admit it, not only were you one of his best friends. You were also one of the prettiest girl he's ever met and just the thought of admitting those feelings made him feel silly that a girl like you could ever like a guy like him.

You see him searching for you through the crowd just checking to make sure you were okay. When his eyes finally land on yours you wink and stick out your tongue at him making smile before he mouthed "wanker" at you, causing you to release a small laugh.

"What's so funny y/n?" Your girlfriend asks.

"Just Will being a dork" you laugh

She rolls her eyes, "are you two ever going to fuck or just keep playing games?"

You practically choke on your beer at her statement, "Wills one of my best friends. It's not like that" you try to convince her. But truth be told, you can't deny the facts you do like him but you would never say anything you value your friendship more than anything.

"I see the way he looks at you. I see the jealousy in his eyes when you give other guys attention"

You laugh her rhyme.

"Shut up y/n I'm being serious here. You two might actually have something if you weren't such pussies"

You look across the room to see Will laughing with his friends. Seeing him smile makes your heart ache, but in the good kind of way. The kind of ache that you get when you love someone.

"You know I'm right, y/n"

"I know" you huff.

You've finished your beer and make your way over to the kitchen to grab another one. Do you really want to risk being wrong and admit you have feelings to him? What if your wrong and it ruins your relationship.

Some asshole pulls you out of your thoughts and starts bothering you by the cooler, you're trying to find an excuse to leave when Will calls your name, thank god!

You excuse yourself and make your way over to him. He wraps his arm around you, "everything good love?"

"Just peachy" you wrap your arm around him as he looks down at you and smiles, his cheeks are a soft rosey red from the alcohol. He rests his head on yours while listening to someone tell a story.

You eventually break away from Will and make your way back torwards your friends only to be met with "the look" from your best friend.

You ignore her and focus on your friends who are playing beer pong still, "I call winner" you shout.

You're almost glad you came out. Your a few beers deep and you in that perfect stage of buzzed, you're laughing and enjoying the night with your friends.

That was until you got beer spilled on you from the sore losers you beat in beer pong. You excuse yourself and go upstairs to find a bathroom.

You blot your shirt a little before taking a moment to fix your hair and touch up your lip gloss when the door opens.

"Ah shit sor-"

He was about to shut the door when you see his reflection in the mirror, "Will" you shout, "you're fine I was just touching up my make up"

"You should have still locked the door, love" he says coming in to sit on the countertop next to you.

You shrug at him.

"Why do you reek of beer" he asks

"Some jagoff got mad that he lost to us at beer pong"

He laughs lifting up a piece of your hair that damp, "you should probably shower when you get home"

"Probably" you say staring at your lips applying lip gloss.

"I always love that color on you. I mean I love anything on you I just i specifically like that color" he pauses.

You open your mouth to speak but Wills babbling continues on, "I'm not saying that I only like you in make up. I love you regardless"

He's word vomiting. They don't call alcohol liquid courage for nothing. Did he just say he loves you?

He huffs "I mean I don't love you in make up. I mean I love you. Shit no"

Your smile is growing as your listening to him ramble. Watching his face get redder and redder trying to formulate a coherent sentence but hes just digging himself deeper

"Fuck no what I'm trying to say-" without thinking he grabs your face and pulls you into a kiss.

It happens so fast that it takes your mind a second to register what's going on before you start to move your lips and kiss him back.

You pull onto his collar to deeper the kiss. Your tounges fighting for dominance before you give in and let him take control.

He pulls away for a moment to jump off the countertop. He towers over you with his height, forcing you to look up at him to meet his eyes. You see the hunger in them.

You nod. Giving him permission.

He dips down and grabs you from the thighs to sit you ontop of the counter. Wrapping your legs around his waist. Your back is pressing up against the mirror.

You want to taste him again. You try to pull him in for another kiss but he hesitates and his face softens.

"Y/n, I'm in love with you. I can't do this if you don't feel the same way."

Will drew a line in the sand. He enjoys your friendship. He also wants a relationship with you. But he does not want to be stuck in a weird limbo between the two.

It's one or the other.

You already know which side of the line you want to be on.

"Will" you pause trying to find the right words. "I love you more than anything else in this world."

His smile grows with each word that fell from your lips.

You grab his collar once more to pull him into a kiss. You can feel how fast his heart is beating.

His hand hand grabs your neck to pull you in deeper into the kiss, his other hand moves south, his thumb is drawing circles on your inner thigh.

You part your thighs farther for him and he takes that as his invitation in.

His hand slips in between your thighs, stroking your heat slowly, he wants to take his time with this.

He lips move down to your jawline, and then your neck, hes leaving open mouthed kisses everywhere.

He moves both hands up to the hem of your shirt, "I want to see you" he says.

You lift your arms up for him to pull your shirt off. He sets it neatly next to you on the countertop.

He returns his lips to your collarbone now. Sucking and teasing your skin. His hand slides around your back, unclasping your bra. You make a mental note to ask him later how he can do that with one hand.

He stops for a moment to take in your half naked body. "You're so beautiful" he says.

He brings his lips back to place open mouthed kisses in the center of your chest and then all along your breasts.

Pulling away he moves back up to plant a kiss on your lips, "can I taste you?" He asks.

You didn't think you could get any more wetter until you heard those words fall from his lips.

"Fuck, yes Will, please" you beg.

He spreads your thighs farther and places one bbn over his shoulder before he licks a soft stripe up your folds.

"Oh god" you moan. His lips and his tongue work magic on you. Moving between licking and nibbling on your sensitive bits.

You can't take it anymore you need to feel him inside of you. You move your thigh off his shoulder and pull him up.

"Just fuck me already"

"Christ darling" Will couldn't unzip his Jean's fast enough.

He pulls himself out of his boxers and strokes himself before teasing your entrance.

"You have no idea how many times I've thought about this" he says before pushing himself inside you.

The sensation causing a moan to pour of your mouth and a deep huff from his.

He gives you a moment to adjust to his size before be begins moving. Softly and slowly.

Will has imagined this moment so many times he's not in any hurry for it to be over with.

He places a hand on your throat, caressing your jawline with his thumb, "you feel so good" he pauses to let out a moan, "you're so wet"

Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck. You want to feel him deeper inside you.

"Will... fuck" you moan

You feel your walls closing in on you. Your getting closer to the edge.

You lick your fingers and bring them down to rub your sweet spot. Bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

"That's it darling, come for me"

Wills voice laced with lust while praising you just pushes you over the edge.

He feels your walls throbbing and tightening around his cock as you orgasm. Hearing a string of moans mixed with his name is music to his ears.

His thrusts get more rougher as he reaches his high. He grips your thigh tighter before he picks up his pace thrusting harder and harder until his body stutters and and he spills himself inside you.

He pauses for a moment to catch his breath before he wraps is arm around and places multiple kisses at the top of your head.

You both stay there holding each other for a moment before putting yourselves back together to go join the party goers.

[buckychristwrites]

Waiting Game | OS | b.b.

Pairing: Biker Gang!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You knew being associated with one of the most notorious and dangerous biker gangs in the city was bad, let alone scandalously dating their kingpin in secret, but you never thought you’d have to face those consequences. Until now.

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: angsty with dashes of fluff. death mentions, violence, blood

A/N: This is my entry for @realbucky’s October Writing Challenge! My prompt was “He smiled, and his face was like the sun.” Please let me know what you think :)

Masterlist | Tags List Form

You heard them before you saw them.

Even with the music playing throughout the bar, you could still hear the rumbles of the motorcycles barreling down the road. Turning your back to the front door, your eyes rolled upwards.

Please don’t pull in.

Please. Please don’t pull in.

Despite your closed eyes and turned back, you still could practically see the three hogs that pulled up right in front of the entrance, the engines suddenly cutting off. When you finally turned around, you watched as three helmetless leather jackets climbed off the bikes, shooting remarks and laughs at each other as they made their way to the door.

You were well aware of the biker gang problem in Brooklyn and the areas surrounding it. It had been ongoing for as long as you could remember. So, in hindsight, it was your fault for opening a bar in the middle of town. For a while, you kept under the radar, only drawing in the crowd of college kids from the university ten minutes away, and the older gentlemen in town who needed a place to go after work. But then, almost out of the blue, one gang known in particular for being in charge of the city’s drug trade took interest in your bar, and it suddenly became their place of pleasure outside of business.

The bell rang out, and you didn’t bother looking up from stocking the alcohol shelves against the wall.

“Sign says closed,” You said firmly as you kneeled down to pick up a bottle of vodka from the box next to you.

“And yet you left your door unlocked,” A familiar husky voice retorted. A chair scraping against the floor indicated he was sitting down.

“How was I supposed to bring my stock in?” You asked. “Through the walls?” The chuckle that came from behind you made you roll your eyes again. His worst quality was how smug he was, and you were sure to let him know whenever you got the chance.

“How’s about a drink, baby girl?”

“You can come back in three hours when I open at noon and have to serve you,” You told him, continuing on what your work. When he finally said your name, you reluctantly turned around.

Steve Rogers was pacing around the entrance with his phone to his ear, speaking in angry, low whispers. It wasn’t until then that you noticed that Sam Wilson didn’t follow the other two inside, opting to stay out and smoke a cigarette instead. Sitting at the counter, leaning as far into the bar as he could with his piercing blue eyes never tearing from you, was Bucky Barnes. His usual bandana clad hair was down today, disheveled by the ride. Under his black leather jacket, he was wearing a plain white tee shirt, and you knew before looking that he was wearing dark blue jeans and black boots. There was something different about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, making you narrow your eyes.

“What’s different?” You asked, bringing your hand to your chin. He leaned backward, bringing his hands up.

“You tell me, dollface,” He said. As soon as he spoke, it dawned on you.

“You trimmed your beard.” And he had. Though he never kept it unmanageably long, his beard was now trimmed down and rounded his face. He didn’t keep it this full when you had met him, and you always wondered whether he had grown it out because you told him you preferred them full.

“Can’t get anything passed you,” He quipped, bringing his hands down to the bar top and folding them innocently. You stared down at them. You’d seen him do it a thousand times before, but never when talking to you. It was his tell, how he let a person know that he was talking business without directly saying it.

“So you aren’t just here for a friendly chat,” You remarked, turning back to your work. When you glanced back at him, he raised his shoulders to his ears.

“What makes you say that?” He asked, a wide grin filling his cheeks. “Maybe I’m just here to see my favorite bartender.” You didn’t take the bait.

“What do you want, Bucky?” You asked, giving him a hard stare before bending down to grab a bottle of whiskey from a box. You heard a sigh pass his lips, and though you weren’t looking, you knew his eyes never left you.

“I need you to tell me about the Hydras who were here last night,” He said in a defeated tone. Red Hydras. The rival gang in charge of Brooklyn’s underground weapons trades. Any kind of weapon from hunting to military grade, they oversaw it all. You shrugged as you moved a few bottles around.

“They came in and sat down at the bar. Made some small talk. Bought a few rounds. Left a very nice tip. Left,” You said simply. A few moments passed without a response from Bucky, and when you looked over your shoulder, you saw Bucky staring at you with serious eyes, his lips pressed firmly together. You turned so you were facing him completely. “Why?”

“Who were they?” He asked. When you shrugged again, he scoffed. “Describe them.” Throwing your head back in annoyance, you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back on the shelving behind you.

“There was a woman, she had dark, long red hair. Gorgeous. She was a smooth talker, very charming,” You recalled. Bucky nodded, and you could tell by his face that he knew exactly who you were referring to. That brought you no comfort. “She was with a man. Short. Clean shaven. Messy, light rown hair. Sarcastic. Doesn’t talk much but it’s mostly jokes or sass when he does.” He nodded more, leaning back in his seat.

“Romanoff and Barton,” He said. There was a pang in your chest. You knew those names. “Did you see them do anything? Hear what they talked about?” Anxiety began to fill your chest.

“They mostly talked to me,” You said slowly. “They asked about what made me decide to open a bar. If I’m from here. The guy asked me if I’m single, I told him yes.” Bucky flinched slightly, but you kept going. “The woman asked if I live above the bar. I said no. Wasn’t about to tell a stranger that.” Bucky stood up and paced as you watched him. Hugging your arms to your chest, you suddenly felt cold. “I don’t understand.”

“Steve,” Bucky barked, as if you didn’t speak. Steve had been long off the phone at this point, not that you nor Bucky had noticed, and had simply been leaning against the wall and texting when Bucky called for him. “I want men here at the bar twenty four hours a day, you understand?” Steve nodded, pushing himself off the wall and bringing his phone back to his ear as he walked out the front door. The pace of your breathing began to increase as you watched Bucky pace.

“What’s going on?” You demanded in a loud voice. At first, he didn’t answer, instead continuing to pace across the hardwood floors at such a pace that the room began to spin just watching him. After over a minute of quiet, he began to slow.

“I think they’re coming after us…” His voice was loud, but when he looked up at you, his face had softened, along with his tone. He came to a stop. “By targeting you.”

You didn’t say a word or move a muscle as you stared at Bucky. This was, of course, the risk that came with you allowing the Guardians of Hell to take refuge in your bar. Before they came, you didn’t allow gang activity within five hundred feet of your door, let alone inside. That was before the man with blazing blue eyes and dazzling smile made you soft.

But something didn’t feel right with you. If the bar was the target, posting guards would only make them target it more.

“I’m not letting your people stand guard at my bar,” You stated after the silence went on for too long. “It’s not happening.” Turning away from Bucky, you forcefully grabbed a box of alcohol and promptly left the room, avoiding the look of pure shock that spread across his face.

Not even a minute passed in the stockroom before he bounded in after you.

“I wasn’t asking you if I could,” Bucky snapped. You were shaking your head as you set the box down on top of another one. “I’m telling you that some of my men are standing watch. Period.”

“It’s my fucking bar, Bucky,” You told him, turning around. “I’m not scared of some prying gangsters. I can take care of myself.”  

There was a long period of quiet, where you and Bucky just intensely glared at one another. Something changed in his eyes, the anger suddenly disappearing, and then he turned, closing the stockroom door and locking it. When he turned back to you, his expression changed to a deep sadness. In two quick strides, he approached you, taking your wrists in his gentle grasp and leading you to a small stack of boxes, where he had you sit. He got down on his knees, so now he was looking up at you, his hands moving from your wrists to your thighs.

“What do you want?” He asked in a quiet voice. It was uncharacteristic of him to anyone else, but you had heard him speak in this tone so many times that you couldn’t begin to list them all. “What do you want me to do?” You looked up at the ceiling, sighing deeply before looking back down at Bucky. He looked so desperate, so full of fear. Almost subconsciously, your hands found his. He flipped his palms up, his fingers delicately wrapping around your own.

“I don’t want you putting too much into this,” You said quietly. “I can take care of myself.” He shook his head.

“I’m not saying you can’t, but this is beyond you,” He said, his voice pleading. “Please. Please let me handle this.” You wanted to argue, to tell him to fuck off and that you don’t need his protection. But the look in his eyes made you choke on the words you had yet to say. You had known Bucky for a long time, but not once had you ever seen him look this scared. And something about it filled you with so much fear that you could feel it in every nook and cranny in your body. Pulling your hand from his, you pushed his hair away from his face, letting the dim lighting hit his pretty blues. Your lungs emptied into a sigh.

“Fine,” You agreed. “But if your men interrupt business, they’re out.” He smiled, and his face was like the sun, lighting up the little stockroom. You leaned down, bringing your fingers to the side of his face, and planted your lips to his forehead. A sigh left his mouth at the contact, and you knew he closed his eyes. When you pulled away, he pulled you towards him, snaking his arms around your torso and burying his face into your tummy. The smell of gasoline and leather filled your nostrils, and you inhaled deeper. There was something invigorating about it, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it sexy. Combing your fingers through his hair, you felt his grip on you tighten, his fingers grasping the back of your shirt. There was a question eating at the back of your head, and you almost didn’t ask it. But you knew you needed to.

“So are they after me because this is a Guardians spot, or because they know about us?” You asked in a quiet voice. Bucky shook his head, his face rubbing against your shirt.

“No one knows about us,” He said. “I’ve been careful. The boys still don’t even know.” You stared at the wall. It was only towards you that Bucky’s realistic nature failed him.

“Are you sure?” You asked him. He pulled away from you, the grip on your shirt moving from the back to the front. He pulled you down until he could wrap his other hand around the back of your neck, and rose himself up to bring his lips to yours.

Kissing Bucky always felt like the first time, because deep down, you always feared it would be your last. They always felt so sneaky and scandalous. Chaste kisses in the stock room. Kisses on your neck when he’s in your bed and his bike is hidden behind the fence out back. Heated makeout sessions in the bar when the two of you have a half hour alone, until it turns to something more.

It was never supposed to be love. The beginning was untamed sexual tension that turned into a one night stand. And then two. Three. Then he began to spend the night after the fifth. By the time he had told you he loved you for the first time, you had lost count of how many nights it was. You always found yourself wondering how the two of you had never been caught, with the way you’d brush your hand against his when you’d walk passed him, or his hugs would linger a moment too long. Even the banter at times could’ve given the two of you away. But if there was suspicion, no one showed it.

You pulled away, much to the disappointment of Bucky, who stared at your kiss swollen lips longingly. When he looked back up at you, he smiled again.

“I’m sure.”

Starting the minute Bucky left, there were always two of his men on guard at the bar. For a while, it was Sam and Steve. Around two, they were relieved by Thor and Banner. Now, at five to eight, when the after work rush had just began to calm down and you had a minute to breathe again, in walked Lang, Quill, T’Challa, Danvers and Carter. You huffed. Of course you knew he’d put more than just two for the evening shift. Carol, Peggy and T’Challa all rounded the pool table, while Scott and Quill each took a seat at the bar, a few seats away from each other.

“Gentlemen,” You said in greeting, nodding at them.

“Lady,” Scott retorted playfully, as Quill grumbled a response. You smiled at Lang. He was such a gentle and friendly person, and every single time you interacted with him, you found yourself wondering how he got caught up in such a business like this.

“What can I get for ya?” You asked. They both ordered their usual drinks, as you suspected they would. As you poured, you eyed Quill. Normally loud and rambunctious, he was now being quiet yet alert, looking around the bar every couple of minutes.

“You alright there, Peter?” You asked as you handed him his drink. He waved you off.

“Me? I’m fine,” He assured you, scoffing. “Just standing guard. Or I guess sitting guard.” You didn’t fully believe him, but you decided not to pry.

“How’s the lady?” You asked him. He turned a slight shade of pink.

“‘Mora’s great,” He said, his tone quieting slightly. “Really great.” Usually the way to get him talking was to bring up his girlfriend of three years. You almost asked if they were having problems, but then thought against it. It was clear he didn’t want to talk about it. You turned to Scott.

“Brought almost the whole crew, I see,” You commented as you grabbed a rag and began to wipe down the bar. “Almost surprised Parker isn’t here.” The smile on Scott’s face faded, making your stomach sink.

“They have him spying,” He said so quietly that you almost didn't hear him. But unfortunately, you did. Eyebrows meeting your hairline, your eyes strained from how wide they were.

“He’s a child and they’re having him cross the borders?” You hissed, leaning forward towards Scott. “What the fuck are you people thinking?” Scott leaned backward, shrinking away from you.

“He’s in his twenties, he’s definitely not a kid-“ He started but you smacked your hands against the bar top. A few heads turned to stare, but you ignored them. Scott rose his hands in innocence. “He volunteered! You’d have to talk to Barnes. He’s the one who let him go.” You shook your head. The number of times you told Bucky that Parker was too young to be apart of this was uncountable, but he always told you the same thing that Scott was telling you now. He’s an adult who wants to partake. They start them young.

You began to pace around the small space behind the bar. Scott and Quill both watched.

“He should be in college or some shit,” You grumbled, mostly to yourself. “He should not be running around with a bunch of gangsters who barely have any consideration for their own lives, let alone his.” Snatching up a dirty glass, you began to angrily clean in silence, leaving the men to their drinks. Quill shrugged off his leather jacket and laid it across his lap.

“Are you going to try to tell Peter that he needs to do normal twenty one year old stuff?” Scott asked as Quill knocked twice against the counter, signalling another. “Because I wish you good luck with that one.” Quickly washing your hands, you sighed as you walked to the shelves.

“You guys should be talking to him,” You insisted. “He looks up to you. He’d listen to you.” As you began to pour his drink, Quill scoffed.

“We can’t talk that kid out of nothin’,” He said, shaking his head. “It would be like talking to a wall.” You rolled your eyes as you put the bottle back and turned to set it down in front of him.

“I’m sure none of you even bothered trying to talk him out of it,” You accused, as Quill threw the glass back. “I just don’t-“ You froze, something catching your eye as the heat leaked from your body.

Peeking out from under the V-neck Quill was wearing, was a tattoo that you had never known he had.

A Red Hydra.

The mark of the notorious rival gang of the Guardians.

You stared at it, unwavering, as Quill set his glass back down. His eyes followed your stare to his chest, and he quickly adjusted his shirt and threw his jacket back on. When his eyes met yours, they had grown dark.

“It’s either he joins now or he joins later,” He told you, his voice low. “Either way, he’s gonna learn the way of the trade, and you’re gonna have to as well.”

He didn’t need to directly say it. You knew the true meaning behind his words; say anything and I’ll kill you right here.

You thought of your phone next to the register. Of the gun you had taped to the underside of the bar. Of the four other gang members who were also in attendance. Was he the only one playing double agent? You couldn’t be sure. Killing him in front of them guaranteed you’d be shot without question. Quill had been a member of the gang for years now, and they looked at him as family. As you turned away, you wondered how long he kept this charade going. If he had been a traitor all along or if it happened sometime in the middle. Did the Hydras plant him? Or did he do this all on his own? The questions didn’t stop rolling through your mind. Each one a fresh punch to the face.

In the midst of it all, you thought of Bucky. How crushed he would be that not only was one of his own stabbing him in the back, but he was doing it by putting you in danger. The question still stood on how Quill knew about the two of you. But now it didn’t matter. The truth was out. And you were more than likely not going to make it out alive.

There was another knock at the counter, and when you mindlessly turned, Scott was looking at you with a kind smile. You tried to return it as you cleared his glass from the counter. As you grabbed the bottle to pour him another, you tried to think of the best course of action. But your mind was running a blank. The only thing you could think of was calling Bucky, but making the call behind the bar wasn’t the best choice. Moving your hands behind your back, you began to back up until you hit the counter the cash register rested on.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom,” You said, looking between Quill and Scott as you grabbed your phone from behind your back and slipped it into your pocket. “Don’t let anyone rob me, Lang.” You gave him a firm look before heading towards the hallway leading to the bathrooms.

“Aye aye, Captain,” You heard him call after you.

When you were out of sight, you ran to the bathroom. The door swung closed, and you leaned your back against it to keep it shut. You opened your phone and scrolled to his contact name and opened a new text message. Fingers shaking, you had to retype the message multiple times because of the typos.

911 at the bar. Quill is a Hydra. He told them everything.

The door jerked slightly, making you look up. Before you had a chance to do anything else, the door burst open, throwing you forward. Your phone flew from your hands, crashing to the bathroom floor across the room. A hand grabbed you by the back of your neck and slammed you into the wall. The hot breath against your ear made a chill shoot up your back.

“You think I’m afraid to kill you?” Quill’s voice whispered into your ear. “You think I give a shit that you’re dating Kingpin Barnes?” His grip on you tightened as he shook you, pressing you further into the wall. “Doesn’t mean a fucking thing when he’s not here protecting you, does it?” With as much force as you could muster, you threw your head backwards, making contact with the side of Quill’s. He stumbled away from you, and you fell to the floor, the areas where his hands were stinging with pain. Scrambling across the floor, you reached out for your phone. You had it in your hands, and you went to unlock it again, but it was ripped from your hands. You turned in time to see Peter smash it against the counter, dropping it to the ground and stomping on it a few times for good measure. He kicked the broken remnants of your phone across the floor, letting it skid only a few feet away from you. He cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows raised.

“Don’t do anything stupid, now,” He said before turning and slowly making his way to the door. “No one can save you.” You didn’t watch him go, instead staring at your broken phone. The only thing crossing your mind was when you told Bucky that you wanted to put up a payphone in the bar, and he laughed and asked you who would use it. The echoes of his laugh haunted your mind. You were really regretting your decision to listen to him.

Walking back out to the bar, you tried to keep casual as you went back to cleaning. Quill was back at his stool, sipping his whiskey as if nothing had occurred, and Scott looked clueless as he bobbed his head to the music. Was there some way to let Scott know that you were in danger without alerting Quill? Not likely when Quill hadn’t taken his eyes off you since your return.

As you cleaned, your mind didn’t stop racing. Was he doing to kill you? Burn the bar down? Or was he going to take you hostage, until Bucky met whatever demands the Hydras had? You wondered what Bucky himself would do. Would he do anything in his power to save you? Or let you die to keep his family together?

“Rum and Coke, please?” Peggy asked sweetly as she approached the counter, startling you. Her bright face faded slightly when you flinched. “What’s wrong?” Though you didn’t look to confirm, you could feel Quill’s eyes glaring daggers at you as you grabbed the Coke from the mini fridge under the bar. You shrugged as you poured the run first, not looking away from the stream of alcohol flowing from the bottle.

“Nothing,” You said nonchalantly before holding the glass out to her. She didn’t move, instead raising an eyebrow at you. You huffed. “I’m fine, Peggy.” It was clear that she didn’t believe you, her face not faltering as she took the glass from your hand. She gave you one last questioning glance, but all you did was shrug before she sighed, turning and walking away. Begrudgingly, your eyes jumped to Quill, who gave you an approving nod. Suddenly you felt nauseous.

The more the night progressed, the more anxious you felt. Every time the door opened, you’d whip your head to see if it were Bucky, and you were disappointed every single time it wasn’t. You could feel Peggy keeping her eye on you as the hours passed, but all that did was make you more anxious.

By the time midnight had rolled around, it was just you and the Guardians, which didn’t surprise you. It was a Tuesday, and most patrons didn’t stay past eleven on a weeknight. Scott had joined the pool game when Carol had dipped out, and T’Challa was playing darts. Quill, unsurprisingly to you, didn’t move from his stool.

As you put away the last of the glasses you had washed, Peggy had walked over to you, leaning against the bar with her hands folded.

“We’re going to head out, Bucky said he’s on his way. He’s going to take the last watch,” She said. You searched her eyes for any sign of suspicion, but they showed none. She leaned in close, lowering her voice. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Instantly, you nodded.

“I’m good,” You lied, your tone as convincing as you could muster. She didn’t look satisfied, but she nodded, pulling away from the counter.

“Be safe, okay?” She said, her voice full of concern. Nodding, you gave her your best smile and watched her approach Scott, who was putting away the pool balls. You found yourself wondering how she got caught up with the Guardians. She moved to town in her twenties from England, and now she was a gangster. Nights change fast.

Turning back to your cleaning, you gathered the trash bag filled with empty bottles, carrying it out through the stock room and out the back door. As you threw it into the dumpster, you listened to a loud group of motorcycles jump to life, the revving sounds filling the quiet evening air. While you listened to them ride away, a rush of relief filled you. Heading back inside, you grabbed an empty milk crate from the corner and filled it with full bottles to refill your empty shelves behind the bar. Different brands of whiskey, gin, rum and vodka filled your crate, you grabbing them from their designated spots almost robotically before leaving the room. Propping the crate against your hip, you closed the stock room door behind you. Just as you went to turn, you froze, your eyes locked on the wooden door.

Somehow, in a way you would never be able to explain, you knew that you weren’t alone. And somehow, you could feel the gun pointed at the back of your head.

Sighing deeply, overwhelmed with acceptance, you slowly turned around, staring into the barrel of Quill’s gun.

“So do I have to sit through your speech about why you’re doing what you’re doing?” You asked in a blank voice. “Or are you just gonna shoot me?”

“If it were up to me, I would’ve already shot you,” He admitted. Swallowing hard, you kept your hard expression.

“Must be sad to go between two gangs where you have no power in either of them,” You told him. “Just another pawn in their game, and you’re just...letting them control you. Sad isn’t quite the word for it. More like... Pathetic.” He clicked back the safety, but you didn’t bat an eye.

“Keep it up and I just might forget my orders,” He growled. You shrugged, kneeling down and setting down the heavy crate of alcohol bottles next to you.

“You’re gonna die either way, so it doesn’t really matter whether you kill me or not,” You said as you sauntered behind the bar, leaning against it with your elbows on the counter. “Do what you will.” Inside, your entire being was on meltdown mode. Your hands were closed into fists to hide the fact that they were shaking, and you could hear your blood pounding in your ears. But on the outside, you were unwavering. Quill’s head cocked to the side slightly.

“What makes you think Barnes is gonna kill me?” He asked you, his voice laced with venom. You shrugged slightly, standing up straight and dropping your hands to your sides. Slipping your hand under the bar counter, your fingertips grazed against the rough wood until they hit cool metal. You smiled.

“Who said anything about Barnes killing you?” 

His eyebrows furrowed together in time with you ripping the gun from the tape under the bar, turning off the safety as you whipped it forward and pulled the trigger. Quill fell backward as the bullet pierced his shoulder, a loud groan bouncing off the walls.

You dived to the floor, listening as Quill scrambled to his feet. His breathing was so heavy that you could hear it from across the room.

“Talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t aim,” He called out, his voice strained. A large thud echoed out. When you peeked over the counter, he had flipped a table to use as cover. He saw you, throwing his hand up and haphazardly firing in your direction. You dropped back down, cursing at yourself.

“Says the one with a bullet in his shoulder,” You quipped, readying yourself to fire again. You stood, finding him already scaling the edge of the room towards the bar. Running backwards, you aimed and repeatedly pulled the trigger. Bullet holes lined the walls as you went as they missed him. He returned fire, holes exploding in the walls near you. A bullet struck your thigh, making you stumble and scream out. You held your hand to your bleeding leg as you rounded the corner down the hallway, blood leaking from the cracks between your fingers.

Kicking the bathroom door open, the sound echoing, you let it shut without going inside. With your side pressed against the wall in the shadows, you kept your gun up and aimed, your finger on the trigger.

“Hiding in the bathroom,” You heard him say. His footsteps were loud as they got closer. “Did we not learn from last time?” As you expected, his gun was down as he entered the hallway, turning in your direction. All he had time to do was raise his eyebrows and widen his eyes before your finger pulled the trigger. His head flew backward as his body went limp, crashing to the floor.

Sliding to the floor, you let the full pain of your wound hit you. Tears stung your eyes as you hyperventilated, your breaths shallow and staggered. Pushing yourself up off the floor, you stepped in a puddle of your own blood as you approached Quill’s body, absolutely still. You tried to ignore the blood that haloed his head, as well as the fact that he was the first person you had ever killed, as you dug through his pockets, sighing in relief when you found his phone. Your hands were shaking as you unlocked it, no password needed, and went to his contact list. No time was wasted as you hit Bucky’s name, bringing the phone to your ear. As the line rang, you brought yourself out to the bar and grabbed a towel, pressing it to your leg as you sat down on the floor. The ringing stopped, and you heard shuffling on the other line.

“Quill,” Bucky barked into the phone, adding a sigh before continuing. “Parker’s been compromised, I just got him to Hill’s. Are you still at the bar?” It took you a second to register that he had stopped talking, as the pain in your leg was so overpowering that it was hard to focus.

“Bucky, it’s me,” You said through your teeth. “Quill’s dead.” There was a long pause. You laid your head against the cabinet door. Bucky said your name in a questioning tone.

“What happened?” He demanded. It was almost as if the anxiety dripping from his voice was leaking through the phone and onto you, for just the sound of it made your nerves begin to act up again.

“Quill was a Hydra, Buck,” You told him, pausing to give him a chance to take it in. “I saw the tattoo, it was on his chest. He knew about us. I don’t know how but he knew and he’s who told and he was going to kill me.” Inhale, exhale. You breathed slowly through the pain, closing your eyes.

“But you killed him first,” He replied slowly. You nodded, forgetting for a second that you were on the phone.

“Yeah, I did,” You exhaled. You heard him sigh on the phone.

“That’s my girl,” He said quietly. Through the pain, you smiled. He sighed again, and you could picture him wiping his face with his free hand. “I can’t believe that bastard. He was like a brother to me.” There was another pause. “Are you hurt?”

“He got me in the thigh but I th-“ A distant sound made you stop. A distant, familiar sound. “Did you send someone here?”

“No...I was about to head over myself.”

The roar was loud, indicating more than one. You felt your heart fall out of your chest.

“Someone’s here,” You said as you saw lights shine through the window, the engines abruptly cutting off. Your body tensed as your adrenaline began to course through your veins. “I have to go.”

“Who-“ But you ended the call, shutting Quill’s phone off and shoving it in your pocket. Crawling across the floor, you opened the empty cupboard below the shelves, rushing in and closing it behind you.

The bell on the front door rang out, heavy boots slowly crossing the floor. You put a hand over your mouth to mask your heavy breathing. One set of footsteps sped up and then abruptly stopped.

“Quill’s dead,” A male voice said, the voice muffled slightly, but still loud enough for you to tell who it was coming from. Barton. “Barnes must’ve been here.” You shifted uncomfortably in the cupboard, trying to position yourself in the least painful way without making a sound.

“Stark isn’t going to like that,” Romanoff remarked as the bell to the door rang again. A chill ran up your spine as you stopped moving.

“Stark isn’t going to be happy about what?” A new voice asked. When you cracked open the door to peek out, your eyes widened at the sight of Tony Stark, leader of the Hydras, standing a few feet away from Barton and Romanoff. You had never seen him in person, only hearing stories of the horrors he committed. A ghost story. Seeing him now just a few feet away in your own bar was a surreal experience. He was looking down at the floor, his face twisting into a grimace. “Ah. No. Him getting himself killed does not make me happy at all.”

You reached for your gun, but it wasn’t anywhere to be found. Wracking your brain, you realized that you dropped it shortly after you shot Quill. Your palm found your face as you sighed quietly. What a dumbass move, you thought to yourself.

“Should we still kill his girl?” Romanoff asked. Stark shook his head without hesitation.

“No, he did what we asked,” He told her. “He got us dirt on Barnes. We don’t need to kill her. She’s gonna wish she was dead soon enough anyway when she finds about about this.” He cocked his head at the body before looking around the bar.

“What about this place?” Barton asked. Stark gestured for them to head towards the door.

“You know what to do,” He said, the door ringing one last time as they all filed out, the door swinging shut behind them.

Throwing the cupboard open, you pushed yourself out. Your jeans were soaked with your own blood, the pain from your thigh shooting up your spine. You tried to stand but you fell back down. The pain was just all too much. Grabbing the counter, you pulled yourself up, leaning on it for support. The motorcycles were still parked out front, but there was no one to be seen in the dark.

Before you had a chance to think, the windows exploded, glass shattering everywhere. You jumped so hard you fell to the floor, catching yourself on the bar top. The objects thrown sounded like bricks when they hit the floor, you finding it safe to assume that’s exactly what they were. As you pulled yourself up, more objects flew in through the window. When they hit the floor, they exploded, setting everything within close proximity on fire. Panic came raining down on you as more molotov cocktails came souring in through the windows. The sound of glass shattering outside let you know that the entire bar was now on fire, inside and out. Within what almost felt like seconds, the whole room was engulfed. Through the chaos, you heard the sound of motorcycles roaring to life and fading into the sound of the cracking flames.

Using the bar to support you, you made your way to the door. Smoke filled your lungs, causing you to start coughing, as you pulled your shirt over your face like a mask. But the thin material did little to help protect you from the black air.

Everywhere you turned, there was fire. Blocking the windows. Covering the door. You looked around helplessly, your eyes burning from the smoke. The stockroom door caught your eye. As fast as you possibly could, you made your way towards it, the only exit the flames hadn’t quite reached yet.

A beam from the ceiling fell down in front of you, causing a slightly shriek to leave your mouth. You carefully went around it. The only thing you could see was ranging hues of orange and yellow, and you began to get light headed. Losing your footing, you almost collapsed into the stockroom door before throwing it open. The shelves rattled as you used them to support you as you made your way to the exit. You threw the door open, almost throwing yourself outside and collapsing to your hands and knees. The moment clean air hit you, you immediately began to cough uncontrollably, until you eventually threw up on the ground. For a second, you stayed still, staring at the ground as you hyperventilated, a slight wheeze to every breath. It still hurt to breathe, and you knew the coughing had long but subsided, but the clean air felt nice in your lungs.

You began to crawl, going as fast as your wounded leg would allow. When you turned back, there was a trail of your own blood behind you. How much had you lost? There was no way to be sure. All you knew was that it was getting more and more difficult to to move. Your legs felt like jelly, and your arms were beginning to feel the same. There was no telling how much longer you could go without stopping the bleeding.

You stopped, turning to sit against a building a few meters away. Everything in you felt numb, literally and figuratively, as you stared at your bar, now completely engulfed in the fire. All of the money you had put into cleaning it up. All of the past eight years. Up in flames. The urge to cry was there, but you didn’t have the energy.

For a second, you thought you were imagining it. It wasn’t until you looked and saw a single headlight getting closer and closer that you realized you were indeed hearing a motorcycle approaching. Instinctively, you cowered in the shadows in fear the Hydras had returned. The motorcycle pulled into the parking lot, the street light hitting the silver finish and the red star on the side. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. He never was.

“Bucky,” You tried to call out, but it wasn’t loud enough as he continued to stare in horror at the destruction. You swallowed hard, building up your energy. “Bucky!” It came out as a wail, and if you weren’t so banged up, you might’ve been embarrassed by it.

His head whipped around, not wasting any time before he was running to you. He dropped down to your side, pulling you onto his lap. You hadn’t realized you were covered in soot until you looked down at his hands and saw they were black from touching you. He immediately whipped out his phone, dialing 911. You tried to listen to what he was saying, but you were dozing in and out of consciousness. When he put the phone down, he looked down at you.

“An ambulance is coming,” He said. His voice was so frantic that your heart broke. His hold on you was tight, and you could feel him shaking against you.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Your head was against his shoulder, your arms crossed over your lap. As you tried to look up at him, your head felt heavy. Was he apologizing for not being there? Or because he blamed himself for the target on your back?

“It’s okay,” You whispered. “It’s okay.” He shook his head rapidly.

“It’s not,” He choked on his voice.

“What happened to Parker?” You asked, trying to distract him. Your hand reached across your lap and found his, wrapping his fingers in your own. He sighed, his breath staggered.

“They found him and-“ He froze, sighing sharply. “He’s in the hospital but he’s gonna be fine.” He looked down at you. “I should’ve sent someone else to take care of him...he’s just a kid, I- you were right, we shouldn’t have let him join.” He chuckled. “I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re always right.” You nodded into his shoulder.

“That’s true,” You mumbled. He laughed again, this time a little louder. It was your favorite song that you wanted to play on repeat.

“God, I love you so much,” He said, shaking his head.

“I love you too,” You said, your eyes drooping again. You looked back up at him. “Bucky, I want to go to sleep.” His eyes widened slightly as he began to shake his head again.

“No, baby,” He said in a frantic voice again. “You have to stay awake. The ambulance is on its way. Stay awake.” You shook your head.

“I...I gotta sleep,” You said. He began to pepper your face with kisses, causing you to laugh slightly.

“You.” Kiss. “Have.” Kiss. “To.” Kiss. “Stay.” Kiss. “Awake.” Kiss. A weak laugh shook your body.

“I’ll try,” You mumbled. He held your face, his thumb stroking your cheek as he stared at you with his wide, tearful blue eyes.

“It should’ve been me,” He told you. “It should’ve been me they hurt. They should’ve never gone after you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You shook your head.

“Nooooo,” You said, words slightly slurred. “Not you.” As you looked at him, you thought about the sunshiny smile he had given you just that morning. All of the times he had ever smiled at you like that ran through your mind. There was a lot of them. You smiled at the memories. “Can you…believe…we’ve been together...for...almost two years?” He huffed, a strained smile filling his cheeks.

“And a lifetime more, baby girl,” He said. “But you have to fight this, okay? You have to live.” You shook your head again, closing your eyes.

“I’m not...gonna die,” You said. “I just…am gonna sleep.” He began to shake you, yelling your name. But it did nothing as your mind shut off, unconsciousness taking you while in Bucky’s strong, loving arms.

________________________________

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