#ha ha fuck me Alastor

[dewdropdinosaur]

Green May Be His Color

ALASTOR x READER

Summary: Alastor has a crush on you and gets...shall we say - possessive.

Warnings: Make-out scene and implied smut. Rating PG-13

For the dearest @anon-of-the-void

REQUESTS OPEN

In the bustling underworld of Hell, where demons and overlords roamed freely and the souls of the damned wander, there existed a peculiar yet charming figure known as Alastor, the infamous Radio Demon. With his toothy grin, a penchant for chaos and macabre humor, he was a force not to be trifled with. Except by one. 

Amidst his devilish and intimidating face, there lay a side and secrets only known to one other: Rosie, a fellow overlord and Alastor’s best and one of few friends. Rosie was well-acquainted with the inner workings of Alastor's mind, particularly his peculiar fascination with a certain dead mortal soul named Y/N. Y/N was unlike any other sinner, with a charm that transcended the boundaries of Hell itself. She had caught Alastor's attention with her old fashioned wit and grace, though he dared not confess his infatuation with the cannibal town resident.

Little did Alastor know, his affections were not as clandestine as he believed. With mischief gleaming in her eyes, Rosie concocted a devious plan to bring the two together.Rosie, with her sharp wit and mischievous nature, saw an opportunity for amusement. She knew of Y/N's fondness for tea and gossip, often indulging in such pastimes with Rosie herself. 

One evening, as the flames danced in the infernal sky, Rosie extended an invitation to both Y/N and Alastor for a tea gathering at her lavish abode. Unbeknownst to Y/N, Rosie had already informed Alastor of the rendezvous, igniting a spark of excitement within the Radio Demon's heart.

As Y/N arrived, her presence brought a sense of warmth to the dimly lit room. She greeted Rosie with a warm smile, unaware of the scheming glint in her friend's eyes. Alastor, ever the gentleman, tipped his hat in acknowledgment, his crimson eyes alight with hidden desire at the more free flowing attire his secret paramore was wearing. 

The tea flowed freely as conversation drifted from trivial matters to the depths of the underworld. Rosie, with her quick wit, subtly steered the discussion towards matters of the heart, all the while casting knowing glances at Alastor. The Radio Demon, though adept at masking his emotions, felt a tinge of unease stir within him. He knew what Rosie was playing at and was thankful for the oblivious nature of his crush. 

As the evening progressed, Rosie's playful banter grew more pronounced, her words laced with feigned flirtation directed at Y/N. Alastor, unable to contain his jealousy any longer, felt the inferno of emotions raging within him. With a sharp inhale, he rose from his seat, his gaze locking onto Y/N's. Rosie, with her devilish grin, played her part to perfection. She engaged Y/N in playful banter, leaning in a tad too close, and fluttering her lashes in feigned innocence. Alastor, observing from the sidelines with a mix of amusement and jealousy, felt his heartstrings tug tighter with each passing moment.

As Rosie's antics escalated, to actually near caress and Y/N embracing her friend back - Alastor's patience wore thin. Unable to contain his emotions any longer, he stepped forward, his presence commanding the attention of both Rosie and Y/N. With a flourish of his cane, he rose and coughed loudly. 

“Pardon me ladies, may I borrow you for a moment Y/N? I wish to discuss something outside.”

“Oh..of course Alastor. One moment Rosie.”

Placing their cup down on the side table, Y/N rose and followed Alastor down a long hallway till he stopped abruptly. 

In a moment of recklessness born from desperation, Alastor pinned Y/N against the nearby wall - encasing them between his arms as closed the distance between them in a swift motion, his lips capturing Y/N's in a fervent kiss. The room fell silent as time seemed to stand still, the air thick with anticipation.

After the kiss, Y/N's heart raced with a mixture of surprise and warmth. She pulled back slightly, meeting Alastor's intense gaze. Each one’s breath heavily with affection and lust.

“Alastor... I... I didn't expect…”

Alastor, his crimson eyes ablaze with a possessive fervor, cut her off before she could finish. “Expectation is for the mundane, my dear. But your presence in this infernal realm has ignited a spark within me that defies logic and convention.” 

“I suppose love has a way of doing that, even in Hell.”

Alastor's jaw tightened, a flicker of jealousy crossing his features as he glanced towards Rosie, who observed the scene with a knowing smirk and a low growl. 

“That infernal minx... She knew exactly what she was doing, toying with my affections like that.”

Y/N chuckled, placing a reassuring hand on Alastor's arm “It's alright, Alastor. Rosie's just... playful, you know?”

Alastor's grip on his cane tightened, his frustration evident as he struggled to rein in his emotions, gritting his teeth.

“Playful or not, I won't stand for anyone else trying to claim what's rightfully mine.”

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at his possessive declaration, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she whispered softly, staring at his lips. 

“And what exactly do you consider to be "yours," Alastor?”

Alastor's gaze softened, the fiery intensity giving way to a tender warmth as he reached out to cup Y/N's cheek.

“You, my dear. Your laughter, your company, your... affection. All of it. It belongs to me, and me alone.”

Y/N's breath caught in her throat, her eyes locked with Alastor's in a silent exchange of understanding and acceptance.

“Well then, I suppose you'll just have to keep me close, won't you?”

Alastor's lips curled into a devilish smirk, his possessiveness giving way to a newfound sense of determination as he leaned in close once more. 

“Oh, you can count on it, my dear. I intend to keep you closer than anyone else ever could.” Slamming his lips back into hers, that hallway ended up being taken of its innocence. 

And as Rosie listened on with a satisfied smirk, she knew that her mischief had borne fruit, paving the way for a love that defied the very fabric of their world.

[jjkyaoi]

i love alastor because he’s so used to people being impressed by him that it gets under his skin SOOOO badly when they aren’t. he’s always like yeahhh lol btw i was missing for seven years and then came back with no explanation OOOHHH wonder what that’s about !! and the one time carmilla was like. actually that isn’t any of my business and idgaf 🤷‍♂️ his entire mood was Killed. he already had smth against lucifer for whatever reason but when the king of hell didn’t know and didn’t care about his infamous radio show that he garnered his feared reputation from he immediately was like Oh I’m Going To Squash Him Like a Bug. like ok. you can just say you want people to think you’re cool dude there’s no need for all this

[shortbreadly]

ok look. i am in public. i just saw this and i shit you not i jumped up and down and cried

[nychthemeron-rants]

Ok, so IDK how canon the ages we have for when the Hazbin crew died is, but it has been giving me massive fucking brainrot.

But not only that, but also the match up of their ages and the eras in which they died.

There was a point in time where Alastor, Angel Dust, and Husk were all alive at the same time.

Assuming "mid-30's" means 35, it means that since Angel died in 1947, he was born in 1912.

Husk dying at 75 in the 70's means he was born in the 1900's or maybe even the late 1890's.

Alastor being in his 40's when he died in 1933 means he was born in the 1890's (roughly)

So from 1912 (ish), to 1933 all 3 were alive at the same time.

At the time of Alastor's death: Alastor was in his 40's, Husk was in his mid 30's to maybe early 40's, and Angel (or rather Anthony as we know his human name) was about 21.

Also all 3 experienced the great depression. Husk and Angel experienced WW2. Theres a chance they both fought in the fucking war!

[allastoredeer]

WHOO!

Sitting down to write some RadioApple, let's gooooo! It's a one-shot unrelated to my "Just Kiss Already" series, but it was inspired by some fantastic fan-art I found on Twitter.

I'll link the art when I post, but if you want a hint of what's to come, well:

Let's just say we're getting a big, hungry guy.

[hypervoxel]

The first time Vox said, "I love you," to Valentino, it went horribly wrong, because Val laughed and made a joke about how often he's heard that as a sex worker (especially now that he's in Hell and has become a walking talking aphrodisiac that Vox was currently high on). Vox is now so self conscious about his feelings and has never voiced them that way since. In Val's mind, he told Vox to only say that if he means it, but Vox hasn't told Val he loves him ever again, so Val certainly isn't going to be the one to say it first.

[peachpopfizz]

the last song + final minute of hazbin hotel (s1) has me

[eissaphir]

I thought of this with a carnival in mind but feel free to interpret this any way you want. Looking at you, Radioapple shippers

[aboyscriminalrecord]

Murder Valinteno

🤭

[zootopiathingz]

Not to keep using Titanic as reference but just imagine Charlie and Alastor in the ahem ✨car scene✨

[xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx]

That was better than sex

[weebsinstash]

I don't think I'd ever have the stones to actually do it but I feel like it'd be socially acceptable if I wrote a hazbin fic and just put my whole pussy in it and have Reader sing a song and yes I DO mean your ass would be reading lyrics

[randomfanner]

I don't plan on talking about Hazbin Hotel much because I am not happy with it, and that is why I want to talk about what disappoints me the most: Alastor.

TW: mentions of cannibal

There were a couple of comics released a long while ago showing how Angel came to the Hotel, and a special comic with Alastor that I rather enjoyed where he goes to the meat market where a hellborn is being threatened by the butcher. Alastor of course kills and eats the butcher.

Basically the comics set him up as Hannibal Lector type moral code. If you aren't rude or unnecessarily cruel, he'll leave you alone. However if you are he would be thrilled to kill you in the most horrid way he can think of and then eat your corpse.

And then the show turns him into some edge lord with a connection to Lilith and half ass tries to make him seem like he cares about the hotel when he has alternative motives and he is just an edgelord. It sucks.

Because think of what could have been done in the show, and I think we kinda get SOME of what we could have from the cannibal village but think of what else could have been done:

For one thing, I think the Lilith connection could have been cut. He is there for his own entertainment, but he does like Charlie's spirit. I think it could be much more interesting if he genuinely isn't there to be evil. Course he still does fucked up shit and sometimes counter intuitive shit on the regular(just an example, Angel Dust could say something wrong enough he is about to cause a murder and has to be held back).

But he does actually help.

Like, instead of having to be coaxed into making a TV ad, just, have him doing radio ads?

Also him actually like the Egg Bois I think would be fun. They are stupid and kind of useless but they are sweet and he finds himself fond of them. Also could give him more of a relationship with Penticous. "You know, I have to give you credit, my boy, these little guys are extremely entertaining!"

Also if he was actually, in some way trying actively to help, I think it could lead much more into Dadstor. I want that to make sense, you know? I want it too but it doesn't and I think having him be more Gentleman who expect good manners, and can cause harm should you not.

And if they had gone more with the ideas of redemption and the actual truth of that, have a bad client thrown in that Charlie is really trying to help but they just keep snapping straws, and well Charlie can hold everyone else back well: Alastor is not all to pleased by someone wasting time.

[irrlicht-ghostfront]

I need to see Vox crushing on Alastor, it's such a need I need TV man to be an absolute girlfailure about the deer man

[raveartts]

mean girls x hazbin hotel 😍

[bookcrazybby]

I am so SO mad we have not one Tumblr sexy man in this damn show but TWO---