#had the song stuck in my head and the music video means everything to me as a queer man

[charlie-rulerofhell]

I'll always follow your stars You're my constellation / You're my constellation When I'm lost

[chuusheartattck]

THAT’S THAT ME ESPRESSO (TTME)

Chapter 20- Shambles ☕️

After Nilou and Ayaka’s performance, it was time for another award winner. This time, it was for Scaramouche’s category. If he won best leading role then that means he’ll only need one more category to win.

You were still behind with only needing three more categories to win. You weren’t sure what your punishment would be if you lost. Knowing him, it’d probably be something humiliating.

Lyney and Lynette were announcing the nominees. You quickly glance over to Scaramouche, his indigo eyes already looking at you.

It was almost as if his eyes were teasing you. Saying that he’s for sure going to win. It was frustrating to say the least.

“Alright, now the winner for the best leading role is…” Lynnette begins to open the envelope containing the name. The suspense was killing you. Even if he did win this category, he didn’t necessarily win the bet. It would just put him to an advantage. An advantage you didn’t want.

Lyney snatches the envelope from Lynette, “THE WINNER IS DILUC IN TOP GUN MAVERICK!!”

Relief washes over you. Scaramouche lost one of the categories, meaning you were on the road to winning the bet. He’s no longer in the competition.

You couldn’t help but stand up and start clapping, really obnoxiously. Cheering so loud that the others around you take notice. It seems like you were more happy for the win than Diluc himself.

Noticing people looking at you, you quickly sat down embarrassed. That’s when you turned to Scaramouche and locking eyes. You can feel the anger emanating off of him. It was so satisfying to see him lose something for once. You playfully stuck out your tongue. Instead of doing the same, he only flipped you off.

What a sore loser.

.

The award show went on and you had already won best new artist and best solo performance. Making sure to make direct eye contact with Scaramouche everytime you gave your acceptance speech.

You only needed one more category. Best music video of the year. This will be announced after you and Xiao’s performance towards the end of the night.

Which happens to be right now.

You were sitting in the stylist chair getting your hair and makeup done. It was your first performance at an award show so naturally you have anxiety over it. You haven’t really talked to Xiao besides him congratulating you on your wins and him occasionally glancing over to your table.

After your hair and makeup, you finally put on your stage outfit. It fit nicely and you already knew it was going to trend on twitter. Satisfied with everything, you headed out onto the stage.

That’s when you bumped into Xiao finally.

“Are you ready?” His eyes looking at you up and down. You felt a bit flustered by this.

“Yeah I am. Is there something wrong with my outfit?”

“No it looks good.”

“Thanks. You look…nice too.”

Fuck why did you say that?

Who says that?

It’s hard complimenting guys.

You both walk to the stage and he goes up first while you get in place for when it’s your time to go.

His song starts.

.

It was at the end of the performance and both of you are locked onto each other’s gazes. You’re starting to get déjà vu from the first time you guys practiced. The cheers and the screams from people were starting to get blocked out.

Xiao kept looking down at your lips and then at your eyes. Signaling if he had permission. You could feel the crowd wanting you guys to do something.

Your hand reaches up, brushing gently against his cheek. You can see him leaning in, your lips only inches apart.

Doubt flickers in your eyes and you pull him into a tight embrace instead. You knew you couldn’t do this. It wasn’t fair to Xiao knowing you hold no feelings towards him. The tension breaks and Xiao wraps his arms around you, flashing a hint of disappointment.

The audience is still applauding, oblivious to the almost kiss that just transpired. For you and Xiao, it was going to linger on your guy’s minds.

You didn’t want to kiss Xiao knowing he was watching the entire time.

Once you and Xiao got done changing back to your original outfits, you both headed back to your respective tables. You turned to Scaramouche who was looking down.

The edible probably took a toll on him.

Now was the time to announce your final nomination. You have won all your categories so far. You were pretty confident you were going to win this one. You worked hard on the music video, if it didn’t win then this award show is rigged.

The incredibly famous movie director, Alhaitham was announcing the nominees and of course, the winner. As soon as your name was called for the nominations, Scara’s head perked up.

Alhaitham cleared his throat, “Without further ado..” He begins to open up the envelope.

Why do these people like to pause for a while before announcing the name?

You and Scara were both on the edge of your seats for different reasons. You needed to win and Scara needed you to lose.

Alhaitham finally opened up the envelope, “The winner for best music video of the year goes to…Barbara with her song we can’t be friends!”

Jaw fucking dropped.

You stood there with your mouth open flabbergasted. You turn to Scara who was up from his seat clapping and cheering more than anyone else.

Someone seemed a little too happy.

He glanced over at you and smirked before sitting down. Looks like nobody won the bet.

Whatever.

Besides, you and Hu Tao needed to get ready to announce the final category of the night.

Male actor of the year.

Which means this is the final category that Scara is nominated for. You both already lost the bet so it didn’t matter if he won or not. It’d just be hella awkward if you were the one that presented the award to him. It probably won’t happen anyways.

After Albedo’s performance, you and Hu Tao make your way up to the stage. You’re the one carrying the envelope.

Hu Tao was the first to speak, “Tonight has been an incredible night. One nobody can ever forget. Y/n and I have met some incredible people so far. Lumine, Alhaitham, Scaramouche.”

You quickly interrupted her at the mention of his name.

“Eugh anyway.” You rolled your eyes.

Gasps and laughter erupted from the audience. The camera panned to Scaramouche only shaking his head. You were definitely going to get a scolding from Furina, but you didn’t care.

Hu Tao finished giggling and continued with her dialogue, “Thank you for that Y/n. Now as the last category of the night we like to announce male actor of the year. The nominees are Childe, Scaramouche, Baizhu, and Diluc.”

As you open the envelope you finish the dialogue, “The male actor of the year goes to..”

You look down and see the name of someone you wish you didn’t start beef with 10 seconds ago.

Scaramouche.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the situation at hand, “Interesting… Scaramouche!” You gave a painful obvious fake smile as the crowd gives their applause.

You can see Scara slowly making his way up to the stage. You, of course, were the lucky person handing him the award.

Mona set you up big time.

“Thank you both. Thanks to everyone who voted for me. I don’t really know what else to say.” Scara paused for a brief moment. “Thank you to my fans, to my company and my friends who helped me along the way. Couldn’t have done it without you guys.”

Scara quickly walks off stage as the crowd claps once again. He ends up walking next to you and Hu Tao backstage.

“The opps are upon us.” You try whispering to Hu Tao.

“I can hear you. You’re not very quiet.”

“That’s the point.” You walked ahead of them, leaving Hu Tao and Scara alone together.

“What’s their problem?” Scara began to ask Hu Tao.

“They’re still mad that you’ve been ghosting them again.”

“Ok and? I don’t know what they expect from all this. They shouldn’t get their hopes up.”

Hu Tao stops right in front of him, “You can’t just start talking to them again and expect them not to care once you go ghost. You know the type of thing you guys had in high school. It doesn’t just disappear. If you don’t stop with your antics it’s going to end up the same.”

Scara threw his head back in a fit of laughter, “Why should I care? It’s not like this ever meant anything for the both of us. Y/n just likes the attention any guy gives them. They can fuck around with Xiao for all I care.”

“For fucks sake! Y/n doesn’t like Xiao. It was just a performance.”

Scara didn’t have the energy to continue arguing. He began to walk away from her.

“Why do you hate Y/n so much?” Hu Tao called out.

Scara stopped dead in his tracks, “I don’t hate Y/n. I just forgot about them.” He didn’t even turn to look at her. He only walked away again, leaving the girl behind.

Thankfully the night finally ended as you guys head back to the company car. Hu Tao didn’t feel ready to tell you about her conversation with Scara. Maybe another time she will.

Masterlist II Previous II Next

A/N: The last chapter of act 2!! Act 3 will be super messy. Alsoo in case you were wondering what the performance looked like, just imagine xiao singing his song on the piano. After it’s done he plays a few notes of espresso on the piano then opens an envelope that says “thats that me espresso.” Then espresso starts playing and y/n performs blah blah blah. Then they perform the cover song together then the end. (I’m not creative when it comes to stuff like this pls bear with me).

ALSOOO lmk if you guys want your users to be added to this au and i’ll make you a twitter user :)

Synopsis: You’re a new idol that just debuted under ‘Fontaine Entertainment’ with your new single ‘Espresso.’ You just graduated high school which means all your classmates are shocked to see you into stardom. Including your old situationship, who happens to be an actor.

Taglist: @skyoverkill1 @quacking-simp @lolmeowing @astro-stars @kaitfae @sl-vega @scarawiki @yuminako @samyayaya @skyvella @kur0kki @practicoi @kukikoooo @scaraenthusiast1 @shutingstar @lloovvv @moonjellyfishie @miy-svz @xionri @lalalaloveallmydays @hearts4lizzzz @kathiwis @state-of-grac3 @morgyyyyyyy @scaradooche @theyluvkatt @meigalaxy @noirechomps @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully @vxcmx @ariesloves @cayl33n @animeobsessed56 @heartsforni-ki @feikyuu @ichcocat @strayharmony943 @chscklvr @kunikissr @jiminscarmex

[jeanboyjean]

and i - ft. jean kirstein

summary: jean (successfully) tries to make you feel better after a recent breakup

content: friends to lovers, fluff, good vibes, jean brainrot to the max, modern au, college au

a/n: for @honeybleed 90s/00s rnb event!! <3 jean fluff hehehe bc i can't get him out of my brain and he is THE comfort character. inspired by and i - ciara. i love this song big time ♡ laughed so hard watching the music video when she brought out the horse lmaooo 🤔 for my fellow jean girlies!!!

1.2k words

"ugh, i hate him," you grumble, sinking into the couch with a heavy sigh.

jean glances at you, concern etched on his face. "what now?" he asks, taking a seat beside you.

crossing your arms, you slump into the cushions. "he just posted a picture of him with that girl. what a fucking asshole."

jean clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval. "why are you still on his profile? you need to forget about him."

with a frustrated sigh, you shut off your phone. it’s been a few weeks since you ended things with your ex, a decision long overdue. the relationship had lost what little spark had been there in the first place, dragging on for as long as the two of you would let it. the final straw had been when you had found the sexts he had sent to a girl in one of his classes. it stings and it sucks but more than anything, your pride is wounded. the sadistic part of you can’t resist the urge to keep tabs on him and wallow in resentment.

"i have forgotten about him," you say defiantly. "he's just unfortunately like the gum stuck on the bottom of my shoe."

jean lets out a low chuckle. his hands fall to his thighs as he pushes up off the couch. "okay, you know what. let's go for a drive."

curiosity flickers in your eyes as you look up at him, wondering where this is going. 

"come on, let's go," he urges, reaching forward to grab your hand. you let him pull you to your feet.

"alright, fine. but you're shouting me coffee," you tell him with a roll of your eyes, a small smile winning over.

"always," he winks in return with a mischievous lift to his lips.

the music blares as you drive, jean tapping his fingers along to the beat. you hum along, watching the scenery pass by with your window down, letting the cool air blow away your tension. the recent events start to fade away and your mind wanders back to your first break up a couple years ago during your first year of university. jean had been there then too, holding you as you had cried and simmered, until you were ready to put yourself back together. 

he had refused to let you mope around, forcing you to go out with him to movies and parties and bars. he had been the one to listen to your problems as you poured your heart out, making his shoulders your personal dumping ground. jean had been there for you through it all.

you deserve someone who loves all of you. the words he had said to you back then, ring clear in your mind. 

there has always been an underlying tension between you two, a quiet undercurrent that flows beneath the surface of your friendship. from the moment you first saw him, standing across the room at a party in first year, his presence has captured your attention drawing you to him like a magnet. you had become fast friends, sharing everything together from your classes, to your interests, to your deepest darkest secrets.

part of you wonders if he’s ever felt the same way. sometimes you wonder what it would be like if you had found the courage to tell him your feelings, but now you’re in too deep, the confines of your friendship too strong. all this time, you’re pining after him while trying to fill the void with other people, only to be crushed over and over. dreams of making a move dance in your mind, but the fear of jeopardising your friendship holds you back. you’re happy this way, if only because it means you can have him in your life. you’ve sealed these thoughts away in your heart and thrown away the key. 

jean's hand lifts from the steering wheel to turn down the music. "what are you thinking about?" he asks.

you cross your arms to hug yourself. "why is it so hard to find someone? am I just destined to be forever alone?"

he flicks your knee teasingly. "maybe you're looking in the wrong places." he turns his head briefly to meet your eyes. “plus, how can you be forever alone when you have me."

you roll your eyes and poke his shoulder before turning away. “yeah, and where should I be looking then?”

he pulls into the car park in front of your favourite coffee shop, shutting off the car and turning to you. he stills for a moment and takes a deep breath, letting it sit for a moment before releasing. a hand pulls through his hair, coming to rest on the back of his neck. "why not me?" he asks, turning to face you.

your eyes narrow at his words. "don't play around, jean."

"nah, I'm serious," he says. there's a hint of uncertainty in his voice but his gaze is unwavering. "you know I would do anything for you." 

you freeze, chest tightening, feeling the air being sucked out of the car. you hear his words but they don't register, refusing to sink in. the sincerity in his words hang in the air, and for a moment, time seems to stand still. in the quiet, jean's confession lingers like a promise. you want to believe him, to let go of the fear that consumes you but you can't help but hold back.

you shake your head, uncertain of the implications. you’ve both said things like this to each other before, never ones to hold back on sentiment, but something about them today carry a weight you can’t ignore.

"but aren't we friends? i don't want to ruin what we have."

he reaches for your hand across the centre console, his fingers intertwining with yours. his thumb brushes against your skin, sending tingles up your arm. “i would never let anything ruin what we have,”  he says, his eyes never leaving yours, gaze tender but firm. “i've wanted to say this for a long time."

with his free hand, he cups your cheek and leans in, brushing your hair aside. "i could have everything in the world, but I would sacrifice it all for you. stop wasting your time with these losers.” 

your heart pounds, breath catching in your throat. slowly, you allow yourself to acknowledge the feelings that have lingered beneath the surface. "jean..." you whisper, the sound barely escaping your lips.

"please. let me show you."

his lips meet yours, and for a moment, you forget about everything else. the world disappears, leaving only the two of you. it feels like a dream as he pulls you in, your chest flush against his. your fingers comb through his hair, your heart thumping in your chest.

everything about him overwhelms you. his scent, the way his hair feels between your fingers. and the softness of his lips, gentle and warm against your own. 

his hands slide from where they’re tangled in your own hair down to hold your arms, squeezing lightly. he pulls back, his eyes searching yours. the moment hangs in the air, the intensity heavy between you.

"are you okay with this?" he asks, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear.

you nod. a smile stretches across your cheeks as you look up at jean, whose expression mirrors yours. 

it’s more than okay. it’s everything.

you let yourself fall into the moment, unlocking the key to your heart, letting yourself want him. hope flickers in you, anticipation for what this could mean. you finally reach for the love that has always wanted to reveal itself. and this time, it feels real. 

[meow-town]

Hello~ I just found your blog and I was wondering if you could write a headcanon about dee having a twin sister, and what the rest of the family's intentions would be with her, this one wouldn't be as feminine but more than Vicky, at least thanks to glam .

(sorry if my grammar is a bit weird, english is not my first language)

Of course! Ty for requesting! (Ps, my device completely died on me the second I finished writing this, and I hadn’t saved since I started, and I lost everything :) yayyyyyyyyyy, remember to save each post regularly, kids!)

wrote this as a self insert!

-You we’re born a mere 4 seconds after Dee, and he’s still insists he’s the older sibling. Which is technically true, but he abuses that power so much!

-saying that he should be in charge whenever the parents leave the house because he’s older, or insisting that he’s the more responsible and mature.

-You have more musical talent than him though, so he can suck it.

-He gets so pissy over it, too. You could mumble a song that’s been stuck in your head recently and he’ll ‘tsk’ each time.

-Very good twin brother, however. He’ll help with homework and always put in effort in group projects (I mean, he doesn’t need to put in effort, he’s Dee, but yknow). Teachers nearly always pair you two up together. He’ll also tutor you in his free time if you ask him :)

-If anyone picks on you, Dee will stalk them on the internet for weeks just to ruin their lives. He’s not letting that shit slide.

-Glam and Victoria always tried their very best to be good parents. They never got physically punishing (except for the occasional playful punch from Vicky as a warning) and would parent as gently as they could, at least, from Glam. He’s had bad experiences in the past and doesn’t want you to go through that things he went through.

-Glam will flash his creepy stare sometimes as a way to intimidate you, but he doesn’t dare go any further than that to scare you. Victoria may seem super tough but to me she seems like she is a super protective mama bear who will tug you into her arms if you arrive home 5 minutes late. God forbid you don’t respond to one of her calls, or you’ll have thousands of other calls and texts. Your phone will absolutely blow up with texts like these.

‘Are you okay??’

‘Where are you??.?.+’

‘Come home’

‘(y/n)’

-The first time Hevay came home in his little baby basket, Dee was staring absolute daggers into him. Looking at the guy like he wanted to strangle him. Heavy just grabbed at anything he could, wrapped in Victoria’s old bandana.

-Dee would snatch his toys away from Heavy, so you had to offer him yours constantly.

-Heavy was a rowdy baby, not the type to cry constantly, but he wasn’t ever quiet and still. He’d be jumping up and down or head banging (Victoria taught him how to) almost constantly. -Heavy will send you cat videos every literal four seconds and if you don’t respond to each of them he’ll get mad.

-He is the chaos child in the family, but he’s highkey the nicest so

-Teasing Dee about Lif is literally so funny 😭

-He’ll go all red and completely ignore you for hours on end if you keep it up-

-Ches was completely clueless while babysitting. He would frantically look through the pantry thinking ‘what the fuck do babies eat? Carrots? Granola bars? Can I feed them beer?’

-He’ll also accidentally swear on front of you a ton, and pretend like he’s not at fault when one of you yells ‘FUCK’ at the very top of your lungs.

-You, Dee and Heavy all developed your swearing thanks to Vicky and Ches-

[i-am-baechu]

♡ Summary: Having Park Jimin as your boyfriend is complicated. A flirt at heart and handsome as hell, a recipe for trouble but this time Y/N knew how to get back at him.

♡ Rating: Explicit (18+) 

♡ Genre: Established relationship; Jimin x reader, comedy, angst, romance, smut, and fluff 

“Did you see Jimin dancing with her?” 

Y/N nodded her head slowly at her friend as her lips formed a straight line, “Of course I did...I was there.” 

She watched her friend rewind the video as Y/N picked up her drink. L/N Y/N was dating Jimin for three years and things were complicated. For starters, he was famous and he was the biggest flirt in Bts. This caused many arguments between the couple because sometimes it just felt like Jimin liked pushing her buttons. She was in the same industry and she was more conservative but that wasn’t by choice, it was society that stopped her. There were times that she wanted to dance sexy and make everyone shocked like her how boyfriend did but she knew she would get backlash. So to avoid everything, she just stuck to being conservative. It was an easy life.

“Y/N, you can’t be okay with this. He always does this to you.”

She raised her eyebrow at this and looked at her, “What do you mean?” 

“You know...flirting with girls or just flirting in general and now he’s dancing with one.”

“It’s part of the job...”

“But you don’t even do that.” 

She got you there. It was true, in the years of being an idol; Y/N barely showed skin. People saw her as a singer and not just an idol, she was well respected but even the well-respected wants to shake their assets at times, “My music isn't like that, you know that. There’s nothing wrong with him doing this.” 

“Are you sure? You're crushing your cup.” 

Y/N glanced down at the cup and let out a small cough. She put the cup back on the table and crossed her arms over her chest, “Fine, I feel a certain type of way.” 

Her friend nodded her head and put down her phone. She gave her a smirk and nodded her head, “You have a concert tomorrow night don’t you?” 

“Yeah, it’s my last one in Seoul before going to Japan. Why?” 

“You like that new song that Aespa put out, right?”

Y/N glared at her friend and nodded her head, “Yeah, get to the point.”

“Do a dance cover to it. He’s going to be there and get that hot dancer, Jun, to dance with you.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh, “I can’t just change the setlist. It’s unprofessional.” 

“Talk to your manager, you know she would do anything for you. It’s unexpected and all the fans will be gagged. Come on, be spontaneous. Also, show Jimin you can make him feel the same.”

“This just sounds so petty. I thought you liked Jimin.”

“I do but he needs a taste of his own medicine. Pleassseee!!”

Y/N smiled and rolled her eyes, “Fine, I’ll call Sua. She's going to say no though.”

“I doubt it.” 

After lunch, Y/N went to the stadium to do her practice and her mind went to Jimin. She loves him so much and she didn’t have any doubt about his love but sometimes it feels like she was a toy. The Bts members loved her and even encouraged Jimin to date her, saying she would be a good influence on him. They always had a problem and it was mostly because of Jimin. He always told her he was teasing her and nothing more but it hurt. Maybe it was her fault that she never voiced her feelings about this but he should see her discomfort. 

She dropped her bag in her dressing room and saw Sua already sitting there on her phone. Y/N took a deep breath and rubbed her neck nervously. She turned towards Sua and let out a small cough, “Unnie...” 

Sua looked up and put her phone away, giving Y/N her full attention, “Oh, Y/N~. I didn’t even hear you come in, is everything okay? You look nervous.” 

“I wouldn’t say nervous...but I was thinking of adding something to the setlist.”

“Oh? Like what? I’m all ears.” 

“I-I-I...I want to do a sexy stage?” 

Sua tilted her head at this and raised her eyebrow, “Are you asking yourself or me?” 

“Both...I was just thinking it would be different for the concert and it would be fun. I’ve been in this industry for almost ten years, it would shake things up. I guess...”

Y/N wished she sounded more confident and she hoped that Sua didn’t see her hands shaking a bit. Sua nodded her head and looked down at her watch, “Let me call Simon and I’m sure he can come up with a quick and easy dance number for you.” 

Her eyes widened as she watched Sua already dialing, “Wait, are you seriously letting me do this?”

Sua nodded her head and gave her a thumbs up, “Sometimes you want to be sexy, who am I to stop you? What song?”

“Salty and Sweet...”

“Oh, that’s a good choice. I’m going to be in the hallway but you get ready for the rest of the practice. I’ll be out there as fast as I can.”

She watched her manager walk out of the dressing room leaving a speechless Y/N. Y/N rubbed her forehead roughly and sighed, “What the hell did I get myself into?”  

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Last night was rough, practicing the new dance was fun but it was movements that she only did in private. She had to get rid of her embarrassment and pretended that she was doing these actions with Jimin. Body rolling and lip biting, it was so fun to do this. 

She woke up and stretched her body in the special hotel room that her company got her. Tonight was nerve-wracking but also so exciting. She pushed her blankets off her body and went straight to her bathroom to do her business. Shower, done. Brushing teeth, done. Giving herself confidence by hyping herself up in the mirror, done. 

She walked into her living room with her robe when she heard a knock at the door. She raised her eyebrow not sure who would be at her door, it could’ve been Sua or even her make-up artist but even then it was too early. She looked through the little peephole and saw roses through the glass. She raised her eyebrow and opened the door, “Hello?”

“Good morning, Ms. L/N. I have a special delivery for you.”

Y/N gently took the vase out of the worker's hand and looked at the roses with wide eyes. She looked at the worker and bowed at them. They smiled at her and walked off. She closed the door and took the note out of the flowers with curiosity. Her heart melted at the note, My everything, I’m so proud of you. Everything you do always amazes me and I can’t believe you are mine. I can’t wait to see you tonight. - Jimin

She gently touched the red roses and guilt washed over her. She was doing this dance to get back at Jimin but did she really need to get back at him? Yes, Jimin is a flirt but that's just his personality and she knows this. It’s one of the reasons why she loved Jimin, the way he flirted with her made her knees weak. She rubbed her forehead roughly as she placed the note on the glass table. Would it be worth it? She took her phone out and went on Twitter. All over her Twitter, she saw Jimin dancing with the female dancer or Jimin flirting with Armies. She shut off her phone and tossed it to the cushion next to her, “I’m not regretting this...” 

Backstage is wild. Getting ready for the concert is stressful but also it was pure adrenaline. The outfits, the jewelry, and the make-up, it was a child's dream. She sits in her dressing room doing vocal exercises when the door opens. She turned around and saw Jimin with his arms wide open, “Baby~.”

Y/N smiled at him and ran into his arms. Jimin wrapped his arms around her waist as she placed a kiss on his neck, “I missed you so much. I’m so proud of you Jimin and your achievements with your album.” 

He let go of her and pushed some hair behind her ear, “Let’s not talk about me, it's about you tonight baby. I’m proud of you.”

“I would kiss you but I have lipstick on.”

He rolled his eyes and leaned down kissing the side of her neck, “No worries, I’ll kiss you when you're done and maybe even more.” 

“Oh? More?”

He winked at her and placed another kiss on her forehead, “I’ll see you there, baby. I love you.”

“I love you more, baby.” 

She watched him leave the room and she smirked to herself, “Oh, he's going to get more tonight.” 

Jimin sat in the VIP section that was hidden away from the eyes of Y/N’s fans. Even though everyone knew about them, he still wanted privacy. He sat next to Taehyung as they watched Y/N hit her high note. Jimin couldn’t stop himself from smiling and he leaned forward to really take her in. She was dressed in a pale pink dress that framed her body perfectly and don’t even get him started on her hair and make-up. She looked like a goddess. 

Taehyung glanced at him and smirked, “Awww, you're so in love with her.” 

“Shut up, of course, I’m in love with her. She’s literally my everything.” 

“Have you thought about it?”

Jimin sighed and nodded his head, “Yeah, I have things planned. Don’t worry.”

Just then the lights in the stadium changed and it caused Jimin to turn his head to the stage. All of sudden the light went on Y/N to show her in an aqua blue asymmetrical wrapped mini dress and black heels. Jimin’s mouth dropped and he stood up from his seat. He walked towards the railing and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. 

Salty and Sweet by Aespa started playing and the fans went crazy. Y/N was doing moves that she would only do with Jimin and the way she whipped her hair around was making everyone go crazy. He watched with a smirk because he was proud that she was showing off her sexy side and didn’t care about what others thought. He did it countless times and it was her turn to do it. He watched her dance with the other dancers and he started clapping his hands when the dancer picked her up. She must’ve worked so hard to do this. When the song ended, Y/N was on the floor with hair around her face. He was proud and turned on at the same time. Conflicting emotions. 

Jimin turned towards Taehynug and pointed at the stage with a wide smile, “Did you see that!? That was my girl! She killed it out there. The way she kick her leg like it was the easiest thing-”

“Jimin, shut up. I don’t need to hear you gushing about your girlfriend. It's annoying.” 

“You're just jealous because you're single.” 

Y/N sat in the dressing room with a towel around her neck and sipped on the cold water. After two hours of singing, she was finally done. Dancing to Salty and Sweet was the most fun she has had during a concert. She kinda wants to do it for the next show too. Sua sat next to her and gently rubbed her shoulders, “You did such a good job. The dancing you did was so good! I didn’t even know you could do that.”

She let out a nervous laugh and put her bottle down, “I didn’t even know I could do that on stage. It was so fun, we need to do that from now on.”

“As long as you're okay with it then okay.”

“Oh, I’m okay. Trust me, it was so fun.” 

Sua looked at her phone and then smiled at Y/N, “It looks like Jimin is waiting. Let me go get him.” 

She nodded her head and watched Sua leave as the guilt came back. She realized that Jimin watched everything and she wondered how he was going to react. She hated when Jimin danced with other girls and she hated that she just did that to him tonight. She can’t believe that she went so low to do this, to prove a point. She wanted to sigh loudly but stopped when she saw her smiling boyfriend. 

“Jimin-ssi-” She stopped mid-sentence when he tightly wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the side of her neck. As he did this, she could feel his smile against her skin. Not the reaction she was expecting. 

When they pulled away, Jimin kissed her cheek, “You did so good! The way you danced on stage, was amazing, Y/N. I’m so proud that you showed off your skills and you weren’t scared to do so.” 

She felt her face heat up and she nodded her head slowly, “Yea-Yeah, I was nervous to do it because it was so different for me. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.” 

“You could never disappoint anyone, Y/N. I’m so proud of you.”

She glanced down at her shoes and then back at him with a nervous look, “Were you okay with me dancing with Jun?”

He nodded his head with that smile that she loves so much, “Yeah, it was needed for the dance. I think it added something more to the number, it was really good Y/N.”

“Y-You weren’t jealous?” 

He tilted his head in confusion and raised his eyebrow, “Did you want me to be jealous?”

“N-No...okay maybe a little. I just wanted to tease you the way you do with me...”

He let out a small laugh and kissed her forehead, “I’m not jealous because, at the end of the night, you're with me. There’s more to this, isn’t there?” 

She gave him a sheepish smile and nodded her head, “I guess...I was a little jealous.”

“About?”

“You were dancing with that girl...and I was jealous because you always flirt and like-”

He leaned down and quickly placed his lips on hers. She went to close her eyes but when he saw that, he leaned away, “You're my everything. Don’t be jealous. Hurry up and change, I’ll show you just how much I love you.” 

She let out a sigh as she saw his dark eyes and nodded her head, “O-Okay.” 

The drive home was pure silence. She didn’t bother saying anything to him because she saw the look on his face. The face when he’s about to wreck her. At least her next concert is next week so she has enough time to recover. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat when she watched his hand clenching the wheel. The way his tongue poked at his cheek and the glare he had, made her thighs rub together. As soon as he parked the car, he got out of it with a slam of the door. She swallowed spit and rubbed her hands on her shorts. He opened her door and grabbed her wrist, rushing her out of the car. She didn’t have time to react to everything and he dragged her into the house. 

“J-Jimin-” Her words were cut short by his lips on hers and she knew what to do. She kissed back with the same amount of passion. With a small pout, they pulled away, “I’m sorry...”

“Oh, are you now? You're going to be sorry after I’m done. Turn around.” She obeyed his order and Jimin made work at taking out his dick as she leaned against the wall. The tip was an angry red shade after seeing her perform and her telling him she was jealous. His girl should never feel jealous. He yanked her shorts down past her ass and Jimin poked her between her legs with his cock. She let out a moan when she felt the hardness and when he finally sank into her, she felt like she was in heaven.

“Fuck, Jimin~.”

“Quiet.” He started thrusting away and she felt the air getting knocked out from his chest at the fat movement. Her mouth fell open and small moans left her mouth. It felt good, it always felt good with Jimin.

“Fuck, Y/N.” 

She arched her back leaning her head against his shoulder as the man she loved wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands went all over his body until he figured out the next position. One on her waist for leverage and one taking off her shirt, “I-I love you Jimin~.”

He let a soft smile appear but he quickly whipped it off. His thrusts became harder and sharper as Y/N let out a loud moan. He find her nipple and pinched it, “I fucking love you and only you.” 

She turned her head and Jimin leaned forward, capturing a kiss again. He licked into her mouth, allowing him to explore his favorite place, “I’m-” His thrusts picked up speed and he bite his lip, “Fuck, Y/N.” She felt Jimin spill into her and Jimin's chest heaved as he came down. Just two more thrusts and Y/N was leaning against the wall as Jimin leaned forward kissing her neck with him still inside her, “Marry me?”

Her eyes widened at this and gently pushed his body away, “What?” 

“Marry me, L/N Y/N. You're everything I want and more.” 

“You're just going to fuck me and ask me that?”

He let out a small laugh and kissed her cheek, “I had it planned out but it felt right in the moment. You don’t have-”

“Yes, I’m marrying you but I want a better proposal. Less sweat.” 

He quickly kissed her lips and smiled, “Whatever you want my queen.”

[softness-and-shattering]

About the Mean Girls musical movie

I know Ive had conversations before about the cultural context stuff, that it seems like the message was not as effective as the first movie when the stuff its talking about, how girls are wrong whatever they do and everything is up for criticism and filming, and you have to pretend to be sweet and kind fairy princesses instead of being allowed to be human. And Id have to go back and find those posts to see what I do and dont agree with now. Because I just saw the movie. And honestly, I liked it. A lot of the visuals were really fun and interesting, which I think is impressive in a movie that mostly takes place inside of a high school. Regina more than once looks like she's in a music video, and that works because shes so hyped, its like she lives in a reality where not only do people break into song, but she's always in a music video. She really sells the character, self-assured and in charge and perfectly manipulative, and even when she's being vulnerable you're like, but is this another deception? She's more villainous in this version, and by the end maybe more human as well. (also the costuming is phenomenal, that Halloween angel dress?? The entire Halloween Someone Get Hurts sequence might be my favourite. )

Also Renee Rapp, who plays Regina, is just incredibly hot. She also played Regina on Broadway so it makes sense she has the character down. Thats not film critique thats my personal admiration. Its almost a little silly with the "oh no Regina is gaining weight she cant fit her clothes" because she looks amazing. [Edit: She's also obviously - I was gonna say she seems older than the other "teens" but actually she's 24, so Im having a moment of feeling old. And she's actually the same age as Auli'i Cravalho who is a lot younger in my mind because holy shit Moana came out EIGHT years ago?? Angourie Rice/Cady is 23, Jaquel Spivy/Damian is 26, Avantika/Karen is 19, thats more the age I thought they were but not the cast seems to be mostly 23-26. Its so weird when times moves the same for people while your image of them in your head stays the same. So Rapp isn't older she's just a bit bigger (neutral/positive). And she's been playing the role for a long time. And Im allowed to find her hot because she's a goddamn adult and so am I. This paragraph is not critique it is me blogging on my blog. Now Im annoyed at myself for Caveats of Fear but Im gonna stop dwelling on that now.]

On that note, though I originally liked the musical quite a lot, the significant fatphobia in it soured it for me. And Im happy to say in the musical movie, they changed or omitted those lines. I was waiting to cringe and they just sang something else. So that was great. I think the only fat character was Damian (why does that suddenly look like a vampire name?) - Jaquel Spivy - and he seemed comfy and cool, no self deprecating fat jokes or anything. Generally the lines/jokes that were uncomfortable or a bit bigoted have been changed. Though there isnt any disability rep, and theres a random character the burn book claims puts alcohol in her inhaler, like a 3 second joke.

And the big thing is that a lot of the meanness is shown in montages of vertical video and comments - no-brand tiktok obviously - and I think thats pretty realistic, and also in the original theme of not being mean to peoples faces but talking all kinds of shit behind their backs. And I think the montage format is effective in mimicking that endless scroll eyes glazing over stuck in the doom scroll/stuck in the spectacle. The music was good. I really liked how they overlaid the Spring Fling/thematic music with the math competition. If anything, Cady is not as good of a character, her Plastic switch is basically overnight, the scene with Aaron at the party is still kinda of awkward, she doesnt get as much room to breathe, while almost everyone else comes off really well. Heck even the candy cane/glen coco guy did well, I was actually suprised at how differently and yet excellently the actors acted their lines, compared both to the previous movie and the musical. Auli'i is fantastic, scary Janis is *scary*. And I simultaneously want to be her best friend. (It certainly helps that her art is augmented with embroidery and she's carrying embroidery hoops in multiple scenes. Fiber arts my loves.)

When I first saw a trailer my thoughts were "ugh we dont need another movie of this," but I think Ive changed my mind. Its similar enough and different enough that for me its a good adaptation. Also - I almost forgot to say - Janis gets a girlfriend for Spring Fling. Its not a plot point, we're just montaging getting ready and Janis goes to pick her up (in the lavender suit), and Damian is taking photos with two other sapphic couples. And he gets a crush/admirer who again, is just there to be there and doesnt interfere with the main story. I might change my mind again once its had time to settle in my thoughts, but initial impression is that its a fun movie I would watch again. Maybe we want the social commentary to be more incisive than it is, and in the end it is entertainment that needs to not be too boring to hold peoples shortening attention spans. (also neutral). Maybe thats wishing for it to be a movie that its not trying to be, and thats always a recipe for disappointment and also not great or fair analysis. What a fantastic line to end on*.

[justhere4kpop]

Dude, I Love Fishing

A few days off between comeback stages and your boyfriend wants to go fishing, he's pretty lucky you love him.

pair: Yunho x Reader

w/c: 1.3k

a/n: Just another fluffy Yunho one-shot, also the number of times I accidentally deleted this post while editing is embarrassing, anyways I hope you guys enjoy it!!! Any feedback is appreciated, and any interactions are welcomed and loved! Also ironically the use of a Seventeen song has no correlation with my recent dive into them. Also I definitely did not take or make any of the photos just used them for the header....that I did make....Okay enjoy!!!

tags: @yunbug, @starillusion13

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comeback season was rough, between recording, rehearsals, outfits and fittings, photoshoots, stage testing, and shooting music videos, promos, teasers, and doing interviews…you could say it’s a full time job. Yeah, comeback season was rough, Comeback season for Ateez? Never stops, with the boys getting bigger and better every comeback it was hard to get them to sit still for even a moment, not that they would, it’s like babysitting hyperactive 3 year olds who just got told it was nap time but they “don’t need a nap they can stay up forever.” but probably less spit and more “you’re not the boss of me.”

“Wooyoung in this moment I very much AM the boss of you.” I groaned trying to get him to stop so I could hear the directions the GPS was taking us. “Do you want to get lost?!”

“We’re in Seoul! We can’t possibly get lost!” he threw his hands up in the air.

“And you know Seoul well enough that if I turn off this GPS you can get us there On Time?” I raised my eyebrow and he looked out the window. “That’s what I thought.”

“I can-!” he started

“Wooyoung-ah, please don’t torture my poor girl, I do that enough at home.” Yunho spoke up from the middle row.

“EWWWW!” came a chorus of voices.

“Not like that!!!!” he waved his hands in front of his face.

“Even I knew that one was coming Yu.” I sighed now on the receiving end of questions of my personal life.

His torture by the way is the sweaty hugs after dance practice before he showers because he just can’t wait that long to hug me, the way he lays on top of me while watching tv or a movie and I mean FULL BODY WEIGHT almost like that scene from Disney’s Lilo and Stitch where Nani goes “Oh no gravity is increasing on me!” only he does it because it’s “much more comfortable”, the endless times he’s had me read the Spider Man comics to him because he likes the character voices I make, not to mention we’ve seen every version a few times. He’s decided to cook dinner a few times only he’s wanted to experiment and try things without a recipe, which is fine, but it’s always stuff he’s never tried making before, last time he mixed up sugar and salt….again….Yeah, I would say he puts me through a few trials at home….I wouldn’t change them, in fact I kind of miss it when he’s away on tour and I’m stuck back home. 

“y/n!?” Yunho called out from the kitchen. Here comes the soup popsicles again…

“Yeah?” I sighed and put down my book.

“We should take a trip!” he announced coming into the room. “Why are you closing your eyes with your hand out?”

“Huh? Oh uh….nothing. A trip? What kind?”

“Let’s go to the lake! We can go fishing! Bring the guys along and everything!”

“Fishing? Yunho you know I don’t like fishing, it’s…hard (weird)”

“Oh come on Jagiya, pleaseeeee, it’ll be like a beach trip or something, water, swimsuits, picnic!”

I sighed. “Fine.”

It was in fact, NOT like the beach, I’m covered head to toe in waterproof clothing, the most shapeless pair of waterproof overalls or waders, wellingtons, a vest with way too mant pockets, a floppy hat, and a waterproof shirt…oh and a life vest.

“You look beautiful” he smiled, I took a photo as he put on his life vest.

“You look ridiculous.” I chuckled at his outfit, it was normal…save for the Spider-man life jacket that was too small…

~~~~

“Yunho that’s for kids…” I said as we browsed our local Department Store.

“Nuh uh!!” he shook his head and smiled. “It says 5 plus y/n! I’m plus! I’m over 5!”

“I’m starting to doubt that.” I mumbled as I put it in the cart.

“Aw no way!!! Jagiya!” he called from behind me.

I turned and nearly fell over laughing, he found a pair of wayyyy too small goggles as well, he looked like one of those watermelons with rubber bands stretched around it until they burst.

“Yu, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you get those.” I snorted…never did that in my last relationship. 

~~~~~

“Well good thing I don’t have to impress anyone then hmm?” he gave me that face. “Come on I’ll catch the best fish for us to eat tonight.”

“We could’ve just gone to the store.”

“But this way it’s a date.”

“Grocery shopping is a date.”

“Okay fine you got me there.” he smiled. “But it’s nice to get some fresh air during comeback season!”

“Yu….it smells like mud…”

“Earth! I love it!” he smiled. “Come on I figure we can try the boat first.”

How did I let him talk me into this?

“Yunho?”

“Hmm?” he turned towards me.

“How much longer are we going to be out here?” I looked at him. “We’ve been out here for hours already.”

“Until you catch one too.”

“I’m fine not catching one.” I chuckled. He’s caught 5…who knew he was so good at it.

“Maybe if you don’t catch one in an hour.”

“Okay, fair enough.”

We waited…he started humming….it sounds kind of familiar.

“생각처럼 쉬운 게 없네요

매일 생각해요 난 어떻게 해야 할지

도착했다 싶을 때, 다시 시작이네요

앞이 깜깜할 때도” Yunho hummed softly.

“Whatcha singing?” I looked at him.

“Just something stuck in my head.” he smiled. 

“소용돌이치는 하루 속에

사소한 행복을 나에게 줘서

비어 있는 내 두 손에

세상의 모든 미소를 쥐여줘서”

“Seventeen?” I raised an eyebrow as he got louder.

He started swaying a little.

“Yunho be careful, you’re rocking the boat.” I looked at him….it was too late.

“소용돌이치는 하루 속에

사소한 행복을 나에게 줘서

비어 있는 내 두 손에

세상의 모든 미소를 쥐여줘서

가파른 길에 숨이 찰 때도

추운 날 길 잃은 때도

따듯한 온기와 함께 손을 내밀어주는!!!” he exclaimed standing up and what do you know the boat tipped over. “YUNHO!”

I broke the surface of the water.

“You owe me a new phone.” I looked at him after we swam back to the shore with the boat.

“Gladly.” he smiled and wrapped a towel around me still humming.

“You’re lucky I love you.” I huffed.

“I’m very lucky indeed.” he kissed my cheek but grimaced at the taste left on his lips.

“Yeah let me guess I taste how the lake smells?”

“No no just a piece of algae in my mouth…”

“I don’t believe you.” I sighed and we made our way to go get cleaned up and the boathouse.

“You know what they say, shower together and save water.”

“Are you seriously horny after tipping the boat over into a fish pond…and there’s mud in my hair?”

“What can I say…the mud really adds texture.” he chuckled.

“New phone and a new boyfriend.” I nudged him.

“Awwwwww come on.”

After I took my shower…alone. We sat on the deck to eat the lunch/dinner we brought along. I didn’t catch a single fish, I got knocked out of the boat and I lost my phone….

“You didn’t catch a fish but you caught one thing?”

“....yeah?” I looked at him knowing it was going to be bad.

“This boot!” he held up the waterlogged boot I got before he knocked us over dancing.

“I totally thought you were going to say ‘My Heart’” I laughed a little.

“Nah, you caught that a long time ago.” he smiled and pushed my wet hair behind my ear.

“You’re so annoying Jeong Yunho.”

“And you are the light of my life l/n f/n……D.I.L.F” he spelled out.

I spit. “What!?”

“Dude I Love Fishing!” he smiled and looked at me.

“Yunho! That’s not what that means!!!!” I laughed and hit his arm.

As we walked back to the car Yunho held up the boot again.

“Should we-”

“No we are not keeping the boot.” I chuckled. “We can get matching phone cases this time.”

“Well I am keeping you, so I guess I win.” he smiled. “Can I pick out the phone case?”

“Fine…you win.”

I am never going fishing again.

[xumoonhao]

i was tagged by @onedirecton to tag 10 ppl i want to get to know better and make a few questions :3 hehe, thank you sm alice :3

favourite colour: purple, hehe :3 alice i love that we have the same fav colour 💜💜💜 favourite food: ahhhh, i love most things!!! i do have a soft spot for soups and stews tho like they are so so wonderful……… mutuals pls gather round im giving you all a bowl of w/e soup or stew you like rn 🍲 song stuck in my head: babaero by randy santiago!!! its been stuck in my head since i first listened to it like it really is just so good, god… funky city pop music is really everything to me!!!!!!!! absolute best genre of music ever <<<333 i give it one thousand million hearts <- this was my last obsession bc i wrote all these answers down like. a week ago and forgot to post it so now the song stuck in my head is dagundong by alamat :3 its so good btw~! last long i listened to: hala by alamat!!! spotify did the only good thing its ever done by reintroducing me to alamat again like they are So Good oh my god...highly recommend their music!!! the way they work Filipino history into their videos and songs is soooooooo beautiful omg..... dream trip: hhhhhh i want to go to SO many places but my absolute DREAM is japan!!! id love to check out tokyo bc its so not like where i grew up - a bustling metropolis is what i want to live in like literally get me outta my small town this is not the place for meeeeee 😭 - but nara….the deer there……….god i need to go so BAD and i also just want to go to a cherry blossom festival once like pls…pls :( other than tho id LOVE to visit the great bear rainforest!!! like it just looks so so beautiful and its really not too far from me omg……. last tv show/movie: im currently watching the cherry magic anime (it is so good and so cute omg i forgot how much i enjoy the story….) and rewatching kyou kara maoh which is really and truly such a beloved anime To Me like its absolutely ridiculous god i love it sm!!! and i dont remember the last movie i watched?? i Think it was skinamarink but i could be wrong bc i watched that early last year and surely ive seen a movie since then…? but also maybe not bc i truly do only watch like 1 movie a year 😭 <- also update to this bc i watched sweet home a couple days ago!!! it was quite good and i really enjoyed the practical effects in it :3 older horror movies really have such a beloved place in my heart ahhh...also in writing this i remember i watched The Thing after skinamarink...i. only watched horror movies apparently spicy/sweet/savory: SPICY 🌶️🌶️🌶️ i do like all these things but if i had to choose id def go spicy over either of these!!! i do like spicy + sweet tho like omg one time i had spicy chocolate frozen yogurt and it was sooooooo good !!! idk what was used to make it spicy but i Adored it wahhhh~

also!!! in your lil tag game it said to make a few cool questions so i will make some <<<333

If you could be any animal, would you choose to be a domesticated animal or a wild one? Domesticated can extend to a wild animal that has been individually raised in a home, i.e., someone raising a raccoon a pet.

What is your favourite medium of creation? If you don't really engage in making things, pick whatever you're most interested in trying :3 And by medium I mean everything from drawing or making music or writing…anything creative!

What is/are your favourite(s) combination of colours?

Imagine your perfect summer day; what does it look like? Give as much description as you want :3

What is your favourite celestial object?

now, ill tag @grlfriends, @kwonhochi, @vampirebiter, @wonhosgrl, @librapropaganda, @honeydewtual, @heartual, @10281, @taengoo, @morgoth, @bixiaoshi, @ghostfeather, @ashmp3, @lovenee, @earlymay, @anglerfishare1inchto3feetlong, and @huiven!!! only if you want, ofc :3 and i know it said only 10 ppl but you see. i lost count while tagging ......... but thats fine <3

[cannibalcoyote]

David Bowie: The Actress

Imagine David Bowie being interviewed, and the conversation suddenly focuses on you:

David Bowie's POV:

"So David, in the newest music video you had a lovely woman beside you. Would you mind telling us about her?" The question caught me off guard, we had previously been talking about advice for younger artists, so this was a drastic change.

I find myself tilting my head in confusion, Y/N was a well kept secret. She is beloved by all of America, yet somehow managed to stay hidden away from all of Europe; but I never thought she was so niche that the British media couldn't find any information on her.

The interviewer noticed my change in mood, deciding to reword her rather blunt question.

"I don't mean that in a rude way, we know that she is the lovely actress Y/N L/N. I was simply wondering how it was that you stumbled upon her... Over here many haven't even heard of her." She leans forward, eagerly awaiting my response.

"Of course, what would you like to know?" I don't really know what to expect, Y/N is quite the spectacular woman, and the questions are sure to be spectacular as well.

"Well... How did you two meet? Did her people contact you? Was it pure chance?" The interviewer clasps her hands together as she awaits my answer. I start thinking about how I got in contact with her, having to stifle a smirk at the memory of her manager's surprise when he learned that David Bowie wanted Y/N in his newest music video.

"I reached out to her." I state calmly as I imagine her serene voice, smiling slightly as I replay her moments of stubbornness during filming. She wasn't a rude sort of stubborn, but she stuck firm to her beliefs, and always knew how to win my approval.

"You did!?" She's clearly taken aback at hearing I specifically wanted such an 'unknown' actress starring with me. I can't help but want to sigh in annoyance, Y/N deserves much more recognition for her amazing skill. Her acting is stunning, and I learned over filming that her musical talent is just as brilliant, if not better. That reminds me, I'll have to ask her about a possible future collaboration.

"Yes... I had seen her in the film 'Poem to a Murderer,' and had subsequently written a song in admiration of her. Then when the song was chosen from my album to get a music video, I simply couldn't pass up on the chance to meet the wonderful actress herself." She was breathtaking in that film, gaining both my admiration and attention in the psychological thriller. The interviewer nods in thought, mulling my answer before opening her mouth to respond.

"Can you tell us anything about her role that caught your attention?" There's so much I could say, so much I want to say, but I don't want to spoil the amazing movie. How do I word this into a short sentence whilst still exclaiming my admiration for Y/N?

"Well, the movie itself was a beautifully written and produced piece of art in itself, disturbingly surreal in a way with the imagery they created. I don't want to spoil too much, but I can tell you that every second of that film keeps you on your toes, and Y/N's character kept me on the edge of my seat every scene she was in." I can't help but praise everything about her. She was exceptional in the film, and started me on a search to find and watch everything that she starred in.

"Ever since the music video, theories about you have been flying all through England. Any chance there might be some truth to them?" She asked the question so bluntly that I'm almost stunned. I'll never get used to interviewers being borderline rude while asking intrusive questions.

"Well it really depends on what's being said. I always have rumors circulating about me." I chuckle slightly, both in humor as well as hidden disdain at the truth of my statement. I am slightly intrigued about what she is talking about specifically, what theories have formed about me this time?

"I have sources who claim to have been on set during filming. They said you two were incredibly flirty with one another. They reckon a romantic fling occurred behind closed doors?" Her question isn't said cruelly, she genuinely seems curious; as does the audience from the looks of it. I hate these questions, why does everyone always have to spread rumors?

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there was no 'romantic fling'. Y/N was a very polite and professional person, so much so that I actually thought she didn't like me at first." I laugh through the latter part of my sentence, but I also cringe faintly at the feeling of dejection I had during that time.

"Really! She didn't like you at all?" This is becoming vaguely annoying, I tell them something, then they restate it wrong.

"That's not what I said, I said I thought she didn't like me. During the beginning of filming she was very closed off and focused, but even when the cameras were off she was professional to the point I thought she didn't like me." I explain with a sigh, remembering those moments where I shyly would try talking to her, only to be met with what I perceived as a closed off response.

"Oh, but... did she like you?"

"Luckily she did. It was funny, I remember the specific moment I realized that she didn't hate me. We were filming the fight scene, and the person I was sparring with, Jeffrey Callos, actually caught me in the jaw." I explained before she burst forward in astonishment.

"You were punched? Bet he got the sack." Her eyes are wide open as she surveys me, the crowd laughing lightly at the second half of her sentence.

"Ha ha, not quite. You see, my crew plotted this because they said I was being daft thinking she hated me. I had bet that she would stay in character and play it off, maybe even laugh. Practically everyone else bet that she might kill Jeff."

"Well! What did she do!"

"Funny enough, she nearly killed Jeff... " The audience burst out laughing at my statement, the interviewer and I were chuckling as well. I waited for everyone to settle before continuing my story.

"No no, she didn't kill him. She did run right over, fretting over me and asking if I was okay before running off IN HEELS to get me an ice pack and towel. I can't tell you the relief I felt at that moment. I was worried that she really hated me, but deep down she was incredibly caring and very sweet." I feel embarrassed in a way, describing how caring this reserved woman became when she saw me topple over from the punch.

"So... Does she know? The truth I mean?" Her question is quick to follow my explanation, so quick I don't understand it completely.

"What's that now?"

"Does she know the truth? Did she find out it was a set up?"

"Ah, yes well, it is kind of hard to miss when everyone is smirking at us as she helped me up. I had to explain the situation, and she got awfully flustered." A warm smile spreads across my face at the memory of her with a deep blush across her cheeks.

"I almost thought she would punch me as well, but she just kissed my cheek before saying she could never hate me."

"Aww." The crowd 'oohs' and 'awwws' at the story, I admit that the memory has me blushing slightly as well.

"She seems like quite the memorable lady." She smiles at me, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"Oh, she was great... I only wish I could've gotten to know her better, but her manager was getting calls for her every second of filming. She's probably much too busy to even remember me." I drop my smile slightly, I hope she remembers me, because I'll always remember her.

"I wouldn't say that David." Her response caught me off guard, what's she talking about?

"What do you mean?" My tone shows a little confusion, but I try to keep a check on my emotions.

"You know we invited you here to not only talk about this album, but also your future role in the film Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence?" She's grinning widely now, but I just want to know what she's building up to already.

"Yes... But what does that have to do with Y/N?" I squint my eyes slightly as I watch her sit up sharply.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the lovely Y/N L/N, who will be starring alongside David Bowie in Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence." The shock on my face must have been priceless as I turned and watched as Y/N gracefully walked towards us, the crowd's cheers quickly shifting into a mixture of giggles and laughter.

I stand up quickly, wanting to be polite as well as impress her. I may have neglected to tell the interviewer, but I did develop a slight attraction towards Y/N during filming.

"Hello Jonesey." Her sweet voice has me ignoring the name, a wide smile erupting across my face. She leans forward to hug me, kissing my cheek softly in greeting before shaking hands with our interviewer. I wait for her to sit before following suit, nervously glancing sideways to see her smiling at me already.

The crowd cheers for a few more moments, gradually beginning to quiet down.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Jonesey?" I blush at the nickname, remembering when she first started calling me it. I don't even know how it started, but she first called me 'Jonesey' to make me laugh when I was filming a serious scene in the video, and laugh I did. From then on, 'Jonesey' was her go to nickname whenever she saw me.

"It's only been a few weeks, love." I grin, patting her hand gently as it rests on the armrest. Surprise gripping me as she lifts up my hand to her lips, gently kissing it before speaking.

"Too long for me." She smirks playfully to me, and I offer her a warm smile in reply before nervously glancing away.

The crowd has quieted down enough now, hopefully not noticing the intimate moment that passed between us.

"What was that? Seems like a lot more than costars catching up." Of course, the interviewer is sadly never one to miss a possible question. My mind stutters as I try to think of what to say, luckily not having to.

"I just love making Jonesey blush, surely he's told you that."

"What do you mean miss L/N?" Oh no, why do interviewers always manage to dig up embarrassing personal things. I'm usually okay with this, but being so near Y/N just has my mind fried.

"I mean, hasn't David told you of all the times I purposely just tried to make him blush during filming? I have a wonderful amount of memories where he couldn't even get a word out with how flustered he was." She giggles at the end of her sentence, lightly shoving my shoulder humorously as a blush dusts my cheeks again.

"David? You've been holding back on me?" The interviewer looks at me in a jokingly accusing way, crossing her arms as she looks at me.

"Nooooo... I've just been.. Selectively sharing?" My voice is uneven, I couldn't even form a proper sentence when she was near me. I glance to Y/N as I practically ask my sentence, waiting for her to nod in confirmation before shifting back to the interviewer a little more confident.

However, that confidence was a little damaged when the audience laughed at the interaction.

"Well, I think we know who wears the pants in the relationship. Anyways... " The interviewer continues on as I struggle to try and find my words to argue with her, but I'm quickly silenced by Y/N's gentle tug on my sleeve. She pulls me back in my seat, quietly whispering in my ears,

"You can show me who's the boss after... " Her words are delicate, no longer exuding the confidence from earlier, clearly unsure of how I'll respond.

The interviewer continues rambling, but I simply gaze deeply into her eyes, calmly kissing her hand in response before we both turn our attention back to the interviewer. But we aren't really paying attention, our minds wandering to scenarios of what might play out when this interview finishes.

[natalyabby]

𝐼𝓃𝒹𝒾𝑒 𝒜𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓈/𝒮𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐻𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒞𝒶𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝐸𝓎𝑒 ⭐︎🎨

If you're looking for small indie artists to pay attention to, check out this list! 🤍

Since starting to put out my own music I've been paying way more attention to small/new indie artists and it's been soooo fun; there are so many people out there creating the coolest, stuff who don't yet have nearly as many eyes on them as you'd expect. Here are a few smaller artists/projects that are on my mind! Most of these I literally found from YouTube recommendations lol :)

✩ Homade - Blue Fish

omg I found this last night and I loved it sooo much; it's so... strange, dreamy, creative, psychedelic. It's something that genuinely feels like it could've been written in the 90s but with the aesthetics and quality of something more recent. They are an all girl rock band from NYC. The video & song are just so pretty; and I can't get over how much fun they look like they're having. I'm obsessedd! Music that feels like some sort of trip is often the best kind 🐠★🦋

✩ Baby Bugs - He Loves Me (he loves me not)

Baby Bugs has been on my radar for about a year now, ever since they put out this song and I think I saw one of their posts on IG reels. I was mesmerised! I mean, y'all know how much I am a sucker for the flowergrrrl aesthetic (the singer, Bowie goes by they/them pronouns but for the sake of explaining the vibe). Bowie's voice & lyrics are very captivating and vulnerable in a way that makes them so unique. They've put out a lot of awesome songs but this one especially has me hooked- the heartbreaking sweetness of it 💞✩🤍

✩ Fcukers - Homie Don't Shake

This one was another iconic YouTube recommendations find. I don't know too much about this band from what I could find, I think they're relatively new to the scene; but this song is awesome lol. It genuinely feels like something out of the 2000s, I mean I can see this being in 'Skins'. What struck me about this one is I love how sweet the singer's voice sounds which makes a really pleasant juxtaposition with the upbeat, 'edgy' for lack of a better word genre. This is gonna be stuck in my head for a while ✌🏼❤️‍🔥

✩ Natalya - Garden of Love

You know I had to plug myself okay 😅🤍 this one caught my eye, because I spent many hours working on it & I am the sole creator aside from my bf helping with the guitar hahaha 🤪 if I had to talk about what I love about this song, I really am happy with how it's come out. My goal with this song was something like... Lana Del Rey in terms of dreamy, romantic siren-esque qualities; meets Nirvana or the Smashing Pumpkins in terms of 'edge', grunginess, casualness/relatability, etc. As an artist; especially an extra self critical artist, it's really a challenge to not look at my work and see everything I need to improve but I can at least honestly say that I like Garden of Love & would listen to it if I didn't know it was me 💐🪷🎨

✩ Natalie Madigan - Six Strings

I came across this artist & song on TikTok and woww, she is phenomenal! I think I overuse the word 'dreamy' but yet again I do find this piece incredibly dreamy, fun, sensual. This is just a short visualiser but damn, isn't it gorgeous? When I see artists like this, really all of the artists I've mentioned & more; it's a really good reminder of the way that level of fame or praise is not necessarily correlated to the quality of the art at all; because some of these people literally have flawless music & production, meaning, visual aesthetic, beauty, etc. but it still truly is a climb like any other to get 'noticed'. Which is why it's incredibly important to do it for yourself first. ✩💕🥀

✩ Ha Vay - Fragile

I believe I found Ha Vay off of YouTube too, I'm not sure but her music & aesthetics are just beautiful. I really resonate myself with the way she connects the beauty of nature & spiritual themes in with her music. This song, 'Fragile' talks about the beauty in fragility, in being sensitive, and how powerful it truly is. The way that spiritually, the person who is called 'fragile' has access to a certain magic and strength that not everybody can understand. As a very spiritual person who has spent years studying all things esoteric & contemplating the beautiful mystery life is; I am incredibly inspired by the way this artist manages to weave this sort of magic into her work. She gets a lot of comparisons to Kate Bush which I totally see with the whimsical vibes & beautiful soprano vocals. 🦋🕊️💞

So they're just a few of the many small artists I've had the pleasure of discovering online. I am definitely one of those people who can and will bang on about how I wish we could go back to a time in the past where music & art was more highly revered and approached with more authenticity, patience & integrity.. but then I see artists like this and I'm like damn nevermind! Music & art is still as alive as ever, it's just about paying attention to the right places! ✨🌙

[bluebudgie]

So I have this long-standing tradition where, after I finish a video game, I sit down and listen to the soundtrack outside of the game's context.

It serves as a sort of "conclusion" to the experience and simultaneously helps me evaluate the game as a whole a little better... After all the soundtrack is often what sticks with us long after we're done actively playing a game. It preserves the memories we've made along the way.

That means: I have finally found the FF Sixteen OST online in its entirety and could finally follow through with this tradition. (Debatable how much it applies considering I didn't actually play the game myself, but it felt necessary.)

The final missing piece to the pissbaby gamer rage essay. Significantly less raging this time, though.

It's okay. I don't love it. There's worse.

I had very unfavourable opinions of the OST during the game itself which might have been due to the overall pacing issues, where large stretches were filled with the same hub music and then everything bombastic all happened at once and either side of the coin was exhausting in its own way.

I still can't believe there are over 200 songs in the OST when I could have sworn I heard like. Maybe 10 or so during gameplay. A lot of it is very same-y. A large part of the OST can be split into "loud choir explosion" or "sad piano". There isn't a whole lot in between. Good for people who like it, not so much for me.

Which means my biggest issue is the very subjective "I just don't like the style". It's not a bad soundtrack, but I'm just really not a fan of the direction the music took. The battle themes are over the top (fair for the equally over the top DBZ kaijū battles, annoying with 3 wolves that show up on the side of the road). The calmer songs don't really hit right for me. No chord progressions or melodies that hook me. Unfortunate. I did however appreciate the electronic influences in the music when the alien baddies were on screen. (in this fantasy game that is based on medieval reality and that's why people of colour cant exi-)

I have also since learned that there isn't one acoustic guitar song that plays for 20 hours straight. There are like 6 or so that all sound the same. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I hate them all. (I don't hate acoustic guitars. It's these songs in particular.)

That said - I was curious about which ones are people's favourite tracks of the OST and went checking those out in particular. Consistently in people's tops was Ascension and I can't deny that one's been plagueing (semi-endearing) my memory a bunch the past days. Probably the theme that stuck out the most to me while watching the game. If not the entire theme, then at the very least That Violin Part. If you know, you know.

You know what. If you don't know, here:

(footage stolen from here)

Like damn. Good rhythm going on there with the off beats. Also fits the relevant character nicely in terms of mood. And I like that the battle phase before this one has a more low-key version of this song playing before it goes into this full ham version.

I just kinda wish more of the battle music had been a bit more... this. A bit more... subtle. Like yes it slaps hard but this song legitimately feels calm in comparison to the other battle tracks. This drives me nuts.

There's one other song I keep getting stuck in my head which is one that plays fairly close to the end (in the final... "dungeon" (cutscene? sequence? QTE battle?)). I figured out today that I don't actually really enjoy listening to the song on its own but I like it in-game in combination with the voice perfomance. There's an interesting dissonance in it that blends super nicely with the voice acting. (I'm being held hostage by the game's voice acting. It's unfortunately way too good. Voice actors are once again holding too much power over me.)

Other than that... I have one final criticism. The prelude theme. We must. Leave it. Alone. Enough. It's fine playing once as a gimmick somewhere in the game (I do genuinely like the menu (pause screen?) arrangement) but having it woven into what seems like every 5th song feels like someone is smacking a sign into your face that screams "YOU ARE PLAYING A FINAL FANTASY GAME." Seriously it's unbearable. (Also I did take notice of the FF1 overworld theme being rearranged into a battle theme for the final segment of the game. I don't know why, but fine. Not complaining about that one.)

Overall it's a solid "mh" from me. Not the worst OST we've had in the series (thirteen trilogy exis-COUGHAGFNJKN) but definitely on the lower end for me. Not of bad quality, but not my cup of tea at all. Dark Souls III OST executed the epic orchestra choirs better somehow. More interesting composition. Spaced out better throughout the game. Idk.

Welp. Back to getting haunted by voices and violins now o/

[ruminate88]

06/22/24

I actually am closer right now to my mom-in law than my husband but I don’t tell her everything. She is starting to understand somewhat not all of it but some and of course my father in law is sweet AND he will always wish me happy v-day, or happy b-day when my husband doesn’t. My husband shows love through “gifts”. He’ll buy me a $200 gift for my b-day and watch me open it but won’t write me a card or say he loves me…. I’ve tried to understand his love language and wish he could understand mine too 🫣🥴

I’ve tried to express it once before that I’m NOT ungrateful for gifts just... I know how hard my man works and how much his job sucks. He’s stuck in a factory daily in the heat, with this heavy metal helmet on his head to shield him from the sparks. He has burnt welts on his arms from the heat. (He’s a welder) so…. My empathy says to feel sorry for him and I’ve mentioned to him so many times about getting an easier job but he won’t change. He doesn’t think he can start over somewhere else and ok. I don’t push, just want him to be happy…. So, he works hard to earn a paycheck. I don’t want it 😭😭😭😭 like I mean everyone wants gifts on their birthday and Christmas, that’s normal but not for me. I feel so bad. I feel bad cuz like I’m scared. I feel like no guy before has ever cared about me and why now??? It’s not that I don’t believe my husband but also he won’t say “I love you”????? I wanna hear it sooooo badly. I can taste it. I wanna hear my husband say he wants me and thinks I’m good enough: I know actions speak louder than words. Just I’m a word person. Words is what I know. Even if he did say it, would I feel it??? 😣😣😣 (also, don’t say it unless you mean it. I also stopped saying I love you to him cuz he doesn’t say it back and neither did Andrew) 😝

him coming home every day after work and being here speaks volumes but then he hops onto his video games after dinner and so I just sit by myself and feel bad. I don’t ever feel comfortable to express how I feel. I tried at the start of our marriage to say “you can’t just play video games 24/7, what about me???” But then my husband got defensive and said at one point he didn’t feel good enough for me 😭😭😭😭 I tried to tell him that Andrew said that so many times so I am scared hearing that again. It makes me wanna run away!

my husband won’t hear me out. Last time I tried to say how I felt, he accused me of talking to other guys and wow that hurt me so much and made me go deeper into my hole.(my husband said I pulled away from him) I have written many many HEARTBREAK songs about my past and that upset my husband cuz he thinks I love my exes and not him but ok… I’m JUST NOW learning about emotional abuse and making sense of my past but still don’t have alll the answers. There’s still confusion to some degree AND I wasn’t fully over Andrew when I dated my husband cuz Andrew came back to mess with my head some more and I was torn. I loved Andrew so much but he kept hurting me and I wanted Andrew to come back but I knew that was bad for me…. my husband had to threaten Andrew to leave me alone and so if I bring up Andrew now, will that upset my husband? He told me Andrew would only keep messing with me unless I blocked his number. I blocked Andrew’s number out of respect for my new man cuz we just started dating and I was trying to trust that my new man had my best interest but I wasn’t sure.

sucks to know you loved someone you can’t have cuz they can only harm you. It’s like loving drugs when drugs only destroys you. Same exact problem! Knowing this helps but doesn’t fix my issues. I know I need to pray more and push more but also I’ve sorta stepped back and just sunk into the couch with my headphones and just play music and close my eyes. Just feel my sadness and anger. I don’t think it’s bad, just it’s finally dealing with it but I’ve also beat myself up cuz most people would tell me to “put on my big girl pants” and “move on.” They would say Andrew is a dickhead and I shouldn’t care about him but you can’t just erase feelings… what’s wrong with people??

so where do you feel safe to talk to people anyway?? You don’t wanna be judged. I was judged in every past relationship I had. They would brag on my body, tell me how bad they want to “bang me” and are obsessed with me but then put me down afterwards and slut shame me. Andrew was like “why would you even get with me like that when you know we’re just friends now?? You don’t respect our friendship….” Uggggh dude, you SAID YOU WANTED ME 😓💔 don’t say you want me, use me and then tell me what a horrible person I am. Why did I deserve that at all??? I’ve done nothing but care about my exes and want the best for them. That will NEVER change cuz my heart is pure and legit. You can’t take away my love. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

but right now I’m too scared to push past this barrier in front of me. People won’t shut up about me having kids. They think I don’t want kids and nooo you don’t understand. All I’ve ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. I already helped to raise my bro’s kids. I’m tired. Just mentally done. I only want to help myself this time. I put everyone else’s needs before my own since I was 15. What about me now??? When do I get help?? I’m trying so very very hard to get better. I feel like I’m in slow motion though ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #24: NAHreally

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I’m NAHreally, an MC and beatmaker from Massachusetts currently living in Jersey City, NJ. I’ve been releasing music as NAHreally since 2016. My most recent album is called BLIP. It’s a collaborative album produced entirely by the Irish producer The Expert. Before that, I put out two self-produced projects called HACKINAWAY and Loose Around The Edges. Before those, I put out 5 tapes entitled TAPE through TAPE 5.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I turn rhymes and lines over in my head everywhere I go all day long, but the central hub of my writing is my desk at home. Nothing is final until it reaches the desk. I don’t have a routine or consider myself all that disciplined—I just write when I find the time to. I work toward writing every day, but probably only sit down specifically to write two or three times a week (more when I’m lucky).

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

Lately I’ve been using the notes section of my DAW (Logic) in the project I’m going to record into. Sometimes I’ll write a whole song in there. Other times I’ll start in a notebook, continue on the phone, then compile everything in that DAW notes section. I typically have my verses memorized by the time I record, but when I don’t, it’s easy to pull up and read as I go. Plus, it helps keep me organized.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I write in bars and quatrains.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

As early as right away and as late as album sequencing. I’ll sometimes salvage a handful of lines from an abandoned song, but generally the stench of abandonment keeps me away.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

My day job involves a lot of writing and editing—nonfiction educational video scripts and even rap lyrics. This type of writing has greatly influenced the clarity of my rhymes. I want my lyrics to be immediately digestible, and my day job has helped me with that a lot.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

I edit as I go. It’s rare for me to move on to a new line until the one I’m working on feels final in both content and delivery. This can leave me stuck on a single line for hours and sometimes months. When I do know what’s coming after a line, I’ll make a note but almost never start writing anything in earnest. In some cases, when I finally write the line, it can strike me as a better fit for one or two lines later. When that happens, I move it down and get back to work on the set up.

Because of this approach, the only editing that really happens after a verse is written is to achieve a different shade of meaning through certain words or because I realize the flow could be cleaner or more interesting.

In some cases, particularly with more conceptual songs, I’ll write out what I’m trying to say in prose then make it rhyme.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

A big part of my writing process is rapping aloud, so I almost always write to a beat (though it may not be the beat I end up recording over).

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

The first line tends to dictate the direction of my lyrics. In my mind, once you have a great first line, the song is basically written—it’s just a matter of trial and error until you find the rest. That first line often determines whether a song will have a topic or be a little more random. Occasionally I’ll pick a topic ahead of time, but usually it’ll stem from a more naturally occurring bit of writing.

My opinion on rhyming changes depending on what I’m trying to do. If I’m writing in a stream-of-consciousness mode, those rhymes better be unique and interesting. But when I’m looking to communicate information, I’ll take whatever rhyme I can in the name of clarity.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

Free and flexible mostly, but I’ve been in a tinkering mood lately. We’ll see if anything sticks.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

“That Many of ’Em” on BLIP. The experience of being inundated with information and opinions is practically universal and yet it’s hard to discuss without sounding like a whiny baby. I think I did OK here:

Where do people find these opinions On every last thing that’s outside of their dominion? I mean, the way they pull them out of thin air Makes me worry my opinion-having muscle is impaired. I’m confronted by opinions on a litany Of subjects daily, and it’s starting to get to me. It’s so hard to find out what’s taken place Without first working backwards through a bunch of hot takes. And I’m so damn inundated That it’s difficult to tell which opinions I’ve created In my own head and which ones were osmosis. Also, there’s this collective psychosis That makes pedestrians opine like a pundit On big picture things about which they know nothing. Fantasy GMs and political junkies Will write War and Peace on smooth vs. chunky. Too much cable news. Expertise brutally murdered by YouTube. I feel surrounded by a vocal minority Whose willingness to speak is their only authority. But squeaky wheels get grease And comments and likes and of course retweets. It appears we’ve made sane people retreat By handing the megaphone to these opinionated freaks.

But I don’t think there’s that many of ’em, And I don’t wanna know any of ’em. But it feels like there’s plenty of ’em, But I don’t think there’s that many of ’em.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

This section is from “Civic” on Loose Around The Edges:

In a Civic bumpin’ Misfits. Number one in your heart, two on your shit list. I’m an interesting fact not a statistic. One of my friends is related to Michael Chiklis.

Like I said, when I’m going stream-of-consciousness, the rhyme matters more. “Misfits,” “shit list,” and “statistic” were already there. When I try to think of rhymes—particularly multisyllabic ones—I form the sound(s) with my mouth over and over. Real words, gibberish, whatever comes out—just something that might make a light bulb go off that leads me to the right rhyme. I don’t actually remember it, but I’m sure that’s how I landed on “Michael Chiklis” (famous actor and my friend’s semi-distant relative). 

So there the line was: “One of my friends is related to Michael Chiklis.” It’s the type of mundane thing that might make you say “oh wow” in idle conversation but not really anything you’d find in a rap song. There’s just something so funny and exciting to me about transporting a throwaway tidbit like that into an unfamiliar and absurd context. On top of that, the preceding three lines are all a bit unexpected in their own right, so there’s a sort of build up leading to the oddest possible payoff—something I love to watch people react to in real time when I perform this song live.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I can rap all of my verses straight through. I don’t do punch-ins, but I do often comp portions of multiple full-verse takes together to create a final Franken-take. I rap the entire time I write (out loud in private or just above silently in public), so lines I can’t rap get changed immediately. For what it’s worth, I have nothing against people who punch in.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

When I was writing BLIP, I read a lot of Kurt Vonnegut, slightly less George Saunders, and a little Joan Didion. The Expert also sent me a monster playlist of what he considers well-written non-rap songs. Some highlights: “Depreston” by Courtney Barnett, “Lah-Di-Dah” by Jake Thackray, “I’d Rather Dance With You” by Kings of Convenience, and “Cult Boyfriend” by Jeffrey Lewis. My favorite non-rap songwriter lately is Jonathan Richman.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I oscillate between not-quite-crippling self-doubt and utter certainty that I’m one of the best rappers ever (with several stops in between).

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Homeboy Sandman.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I don’t think so, but as the years have passed I’m less and less sure.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Noah Anthony Mezzacappa

[cherryberg]

Your top 3 musicals ever gogogo gogo ogo go

HEEEEELPPPPP HEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPP aough .... ardate please you have to understand that i Have to understand that my taste in musicals are very limited now. when you were a musical girlie in 2016, you leave that shit behind for a few hundred years and now have to rebuild all of that again from scratch with a new appreciation so...

this went longer than expected so the list goes Marvin Trilogy, Fun Home, School of Rock. more under the cut smiles

Marvin Trilogy

In Trousers, Falsettos [March of the Falsettos, Falsettoland]

Fav Songs, excluding obvious fan-favourites: Can't Sleep, How Marvin Eats His Breakfast, My Father's a Homo/Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist, Round Tables Square Tables, etc

i don't know many, but man. i like a good sung-through musical. means i can listen to the whole soundtrack from start to finish and have cohesively consumed a whole narrative. and tbh? falsettos, but even in trousers too, don't really have Bad songs. i've listened to the falsettos 2016 revival and in trousers 1979 original cast soundtracks dozens of times (both separately and together). which, i mean. compared to the other musicals i have here, i haven't even listened to their whole soundtracks (which. to be fair i did see those live). and yeah you have the really good songs that Everyone likes. the Thrill of First Loves and the Whizzer Going Downs and what have you, but you listen to the tracks a second time, or maybe watch the proshot again, and you get the smaller less-appreciated songs in your head. not included in the fav songs list because that thing's long, but i love A Breakfast Over Sugar. i get Set Those Sails and A Marriage Proposal and Miracle of Judaism stuck in my head. and its great! not to mention just how good and how important the story is .. i could go on but aough ..... long

Fun Home

Fav Songs: Edges of the World, Welcome to Our House on Maple Avenue, Telephone Wire, currently being annoying about Raincoat of Love

PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES

yeah man. saw this one for school. still have the ticket actually. but Because i did it for school, i have so much analysis and thoughts up here, it's maybe too long and specific. and also for like. a specific production that no one on tumblr would've watched. i would give anything to see that production again though. it wouldn't be the same as seeing it live, Especially during certain moments, but goodness gracious, man. the set design, the lighting, and that revolving stage? absolutely everything to me... so well integrated. just... mwah

School of Rock

Fav Songs: Stick It to the Man, Act 2 Scene 8: Dewey's Bedroom. You're in the Band .. mehbeh

Um... I don't really.. have a third that I can think of that's on par. But, it's School of Rock. It's awesome. my sibling had a track record of not liking musicals when they had to come and see it with me (when i still went out to watch musicals aough ...), but I think this was the first one they really liked - enough for me to get them a key ring of the show! (they cried during If Only You Would Listen too :]) It was a wonderful performance, and the kids were so good and coordinated too! They let us take pictures of the ending song ... which i just took a video of, so i still have that. I watched School of Rock during my ... hardcore theatre kid era though so.. i've got a few cringe worthy memories of it .. but yeah is good :]

I did see Moulin Rouge once as well, despite never having seen the movie, and that was very good as well. Though I'm not much for jukebox musicals (can't deny that Moulin Rouge tracks can be freakin' awesome though) and I think I was too busy ogling heehee

but yeah .. that's all :]

[popculturerobots]

Digimon: The Movie

It's fuckin' wild. Can we talk about it? It was my introduction to Digimon (which is why I use the dub names for everyone, sorry not sorry), and it means a lot to me. There's so much dumb shit that I still love about it. The ridiculous story linking three films using a one-off character from the third one. Kari narrating everything (actually pretty cute). All the bad jokes used to "localize". The gag that Tai and Kari's mother can't cook. Tai apologizing for throwing up in Sora's hat. You've Got Mail!

I know this has already been done to Hell, but I just want to focus in on the soundtrack. So stick with me for a bit.

I rewatched the movie not too long ago and was surprised by how much of the soundtrack I just didn't remember. (like "Rockafeller Skank", what?) I knew the songs, but they just kind of blended into a vague sort of nostalgia. A lot of it probably had to do with how short the song drops were.

There's the "All Star" drop at the end with Endigomon where Willis calls him tone deaf (ouch), and a few other songs drop during battles. I want to point out "Nowhere Near" by Summercamp because T.K. wears shirts with the band name in tri. I also want to shout out "All My Best Friends Are Metalheads" by Less Than Jake because it's a great song by a great band. Ska punk forever.

It's probably a good thing I don't remember the "Digi Rap" because it's...not great. The "Digimon Theme", however, still gets stuck in my head to this day. It rules. Digimon are the champions. The main motif is also repeated during intense moments by the brass section throughout the score (performed by the Israel Philharmonic, I guess because Saban was US-Israeli). This movie is for sure one of the reasons I'm such a basic bitch for a brass line. That being said, I still prefer Butter-Fly (tri. all cast version best version).

"One Week" by Barenaked Ladies. Yeah, the meme song. It starts playing when Tai's apology email to Sora fails to send and continues through the exposition of where the other DigiDestined are. I thought this drop was so clever when I was younger. Unashamed to say this is a good song that I can sing entirely from memory.

And now the best drop of the entire movie. "The Impression That I Get" by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Good song, still in my rotation. It plays when Sora gets Tai's email and forgives him (or is implied to, at least) with the opening lines "have you ever been close to tragedy". Yes. And then it cuts to the missile poking out of the water. It tips over to the lyrics "so heavy you collapse". Again, yes. But the lyrics say "no". It's so dumb, and it makes me big dumb smile.

But the wildest part of all this is "Kids in America". Because the DigiDestined are kids and they go to America. Sure, makes sense. But it’s covered by Len. You know, the "Steal My Sunshine" band? Remember them? Well I remember them for the music video at the end of the VHS where the band members go to the premiere of Digimon: The Movie. I vividly remember this thing. The animation that was so bad compared to the movie it followed. The monkey playing congas. The band members sitting in the theatre with Tai and Greymon. Greymon trying to steal popcorn. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but I hope they're doing well.

Thanks for reading. Now go listen.

[aecholapis]

Rule: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by no one, but (apologies in advance) I saw the post on @novafire-is-thinking 's blog and thought 'why not' because I like writing useless, trivial information about myself.

[Edit 1: I've been tagged by @localrobotlover and I hope it's okay if I just update this because only the songs have changed. Thank you so much for tagging me!]

[Edit 2: I've been tagged again and this time by @cyber-streak-2! My answers haven't changed much again which means I can edit this post again if it's alright with you. Thanks for the tag! I appreciate it a lot!]

Relationship status: Single (I have no time for a relationship)

Favourite colour: Blue (and green to a lesser extent)

Something I want right now: More time for hobbies and learning, if any lovely person out there finds a way to stretch the day, stop the flow of time or erase the necessity that is sleep without consequences - you know where to find me

Song stuck in my head: Done With Everything by Line So Thin (I stumbled upon them last week on Youtube and this song has been stuck in my head ever since)

[Edit 1: Now it's My Demons by Caleb Hyles (Starset Cover) thanks to localrobotlover, hehe]

[Edit 2: And now it's the Highlands Theme from Octopath Traveler - Lately, I've been listening to the OST again.]

Three favourite foods: Lasagna, stuffed cabbage leaves that my grandma used to make and sweets (chocolate my beloved)

Last song I listened to: Fight Fire With Gasoline by Self Deception (!!!TW: slight flash warning for the first few seconds of the video)

[Edit 1: Starship Velociraptor by Jonathan Young - the Official Music Video came out yesterday]

[Edit 2: Victor's Hollow from Octopath Traveler - I need to play the game again]

Last thing I googled: 'lens flare' for a background and it... yeah. Didn't turn out like envisioned, but that's okay. Not everything needs to be perfect.

[Edit 1: still 'lens flare']

[Edit 2: 'resistor color code']

Dream trip: New Zealand is next on the list - very mainstream. It's mystical, the nature is wonderful and its wildlife is so different from the one we have here, what's not to like?

Hmmm... though I sure would love to visit Cybertron one day as well...

Bonus:

If you had the opportunity to [safely] become a cyborg via body upgrades, would you take it?

It depends on my mindset at the time I'm writing this and now I say 'yes', but tomorrow it might be 'no'. It would be cool to be part mechanical, part organic if it doesn't have any negative consequences.

[Edit 1: Yes.]

[Edit 2: Yes.]

I'm not going to tag anyone this time, but everyone is welcome to participate if their heart desires.