#have a shitpost on the house

[crispyliza]

I've got you all figured out fanartists

[winterprince601]

unfortunately for jon snow, the role of "dead girl haunting the narrative" is already occupied by his mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, grandmother and step mother x2 so he's going to have to be forcibly resurrected :/

[disaster-bay-leaf]

randomly going insane about house md

because

after eight years of the show, 20 years of knowing each other, four marriages between them, so many heartbreaks so many betrayals, searching for people to love and who will love them, after doing fucked up shit to each other, barely communicating their feelings, seeing each other through unimaginable pain and causing it too

house chooses to blow his entire life up for five months

five months with wilson

the man who started from pestering cameron about her 6 month marriage to a dying man

ultimately gave everything up for an even shorter time with wilson

its just

god they really did that

[opera-ghost]

phantom of the opera + twitter

[beardeddetectivepaper]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

it is. so weird to me that I'm having to say this again after a real-life cartoon supervillian already once ran for president on a platform of hatred & fascism and won, but.

it's November, please fucking vote

[greghatecrimes]

this is how it went in canon, right?

[bisexualgenderclown]

you guys i am so in love with this fandom. you people read 2 whole books about a solar system with 9 planets that is stated to have been the cradle of humanity and you are still surprised when it turns out that it’s like, THE solar system.

Just fully no thoughts, head empty, marinating in the lesbianism of the situation without a single neuron firing. i salute your dedication

[semipreciousartist]

Locked Tomb Meme Zine

[lesbianspeedy]

[nose-coffee]

honestly, i just gotta imagine anybody from the Houses not involved with the Cohort hearing abt tlt events would be wild. like

random fifth house citizen: all....all of the house heirs died?

their random fifth house citizen friend: [nodding] except for Ianthe Tridentarius of the Third and a Ninth nun. they’re the Emperor’s new Lyctors.

random fifth house citizen: [imagining the Lyctor trials as Battle Royale style death matches]....but everyone else died??

-

random fifth house citizen’s friend: hey did you hear? the sixth house installation got cooked in that recent sunflare!

random fifth house citizen: 

random fifth house citizen’s friend: also the Emperor has a daughter

random fifth house citizen: oh shit really? congrats to him. chaotic time to be raising a kid tho, imo

random fifth house citizen’s friend: she’s like, nineteen

random fifth house citizen:

-

random fifth house citizen’s friend: [poking their head into the room] hey, just letting you know, the tomb’s open

random fifth house citizen: the what’s what

random fifth house citizen’s friend: the tomb is open. the locked one. on the ninth house. it’s open.

random fifth house citizen:

[guinevereslancelot]

what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

[hrokkall]

Happy pride month

Bonus textless version + the original

[robertseanleonardthinker]

probably the dumbest thing i've made for this fandom thus far

[opera-ghost]

phantom of the opera + twitter

[stergeon]

spending some more time chewing on the concept of byleth and edelgard constantly writing each other letters—both while one of them is off traveling and also when they're both at home and seeing each other every day. there's one on the emperor's desk in her study; one in byleth's storage locker in the barracks; one left on a pillow or slipped into a pocket or tucked into a book the other is reading.

the emperor is interrupted during a big meeting by a page delivering a "most crucial missive from the commander." she unseals it in front of everyone and it's a crude drawing of a smiley face that says "hello i love you"

edelgard would write these excessively verbose things, very heavy on the poetry and flowery language. there are a couple paragraphs of updates and then page after page after page of "i love you"s and "i miss you"s communicated in ten thousand different and increasingly grandiloquent ways. byleth has learned to bring a dictionary along on her trips so she can decode all the sesquipedalian nightmare terms edelgard uses to tell her she's pretty. most letters start and end with an implied threat that if anyone other than byleth reads it or finds out how soft the emperor is, there will be hell to pay, but it doesn't stop her from proceeding to go ham on the romantic sappiness.

meanwhile byleth's letters are. pretty straight and to the point. she's keeping her posted about the weather, about this dog that she met, about a cool tree she saw, and transcribing direct quotes and best wishes from their friends. but she also includes little mementos she picked up or shiny things she found (she's like a crow with pretty rocks, shells, and baubles), and presses flowers that she thinks edelgard will like, and attempts to sketch things she wishes edelgard got to see with her. it's painfully obvious that byleth will never have an artistic career, but edelgard adores every single drawing all the same.

(hubert made a suggestion to have the emperor and her adviser use different seals or envelopes for their personal and official correspondence. this was accepted as reasonable. several months later, edelgard found out he made the suggestion after the third instance in which he'd been doing his secretarial duties and responding to the emperor's mail, only to find the message from the emperor's adviser did not, in fact, contain the woman's latest report on the situation in fhirdiad or fodlan's locket, but a rather lurid list of her intentions for the emperor upon returning home to enbarr. one contained a diagram. hubert did not examine it.)

edelgard, who hoards every paper she's ever had reason to touch and who has a (frankly, pathological) filing system for everything in her life, has a special container for byleth's letters that is under lock and key. byleth, who lived out of a rucksack for most of her life and constantly had to consider carry weight when vetting her few belongings, doesn't really know how to... have... things. she struggled with toting around all this paper for a while, but couldn't bear to toss out even the simplest "meet me at 4pm for the council meeting" message. she had to make peace with the concept of using a drawer for something like long-term storage and frequently checks to make sure they're all still there.

both of them keep their favorite ones in the back of their respective journals and act like they're not so extremely, terminally soft on each other.