#have someone i trust when im on my deathbed

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tunamayojazz]

my fav flavor of inuokko is older (late 20s-30s) with a lot of regrets and bad memories but who have been together so long and know each other so well that they face all of it head on. there’s a few fics in this vein but i’ve never seen any older inok art!

anon thank you so much for putting older inuokko in my head. it unlocked a new department in my brainrot and i now have so many thoughts about them...

100% agree that older inuokko would have lots of regrets and bad memories, they've experienced all kinds of things in their 20s (and life in general) but it's mostly bad bc lbr the jujutsu world is not pretty and they did not have a kind childhood...but when they're together, it's easy to forget all the bad for just a bit.

one day i'll have a character sheet for both of them (i am very invested in this)! will just post yuta for now bc im struggling with toge haha. thoughts below on how yuta is in his 30s plus some long story rambling bc i cannot be trusted with a keyboard and brainrot...

i'd like to think that yuta grows to be a lot more confident in his skin and becomes the best at looking after his friends as compared to the past when they've had to look out for him and reassure him more. he's not shy or hesitant in his actions at this age and a lot of people around like to say he would have been a great teacher at the school.

at one point (as a 3rd year perhaps) he entertained the thought of becoming a teacher, but the moment he had imagined his students dying, it was an instant no. he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. it's hard enough that he has nightmares of his friends dying/being hurt sometimes. there's been a lot of close calls over the years. at this point of time, he and toge are both freelance sorcerers and no longer under the school, kinda like mei mei and yuki.

will expand on this in the future but it's due to something that happened and had to do with both the inumaki clan and the higher ups that made yuta swear to never return to the school ever again. he actually had to be stopped from destroying the school after shit hit the fan and that's where he got the scars he has now from. sure he could have healed them easily, but he wanted a physical reminder (he never wants to forget what his foolishness could cost him) of sorts. it's one of the events that i would say was significant to his character development.

they move to kyoto shortly after that. i haven't fully thought out toge's story at this point of time but as yuta is maturing and growing into the person he's always wished to become, toge is crumbling. he has a lot of repressed family trauma that he's always been good at locking away in his mind, but after recent events he just broke.

and of course yuta is there for toge, especially when the latter has been his pillar of strength since they became important to each other. unlike the past, he can read when toge needs space or when he needs someone by his side. over the years he's just been able to sense what toge needs like it's something natural to him.

at toge's lowest points, he reminds him of just how loved he is everyday, as much as he can through words and actions. specifically i think yuta is really good at non-sexual intimacy (pls look at the bottom right sketch)!

one thing that has never changed about yuta tho is that he'll still panic over small things like when maki or toge fall sick. for example when he hears from panda that she's down with a cold, he takes the next bullet train back to tokyo as though she's on her deathbed lmao.

overall i think he'd be pretty stable in his 30s but also it wouldn't take much to make him spiral and lose it ^^

[studioxlii]

18 and Junhee pls!! Xx

"to be fully seen by somebody, then, be loved anyhow is a human offering that can border on miraculous."

proof read: kinda

warnings: none

note(s): the format might be garbage, im mobile.

Love is a weird thing but so are the conditions that come with it; the limits that people decide need to be in place. You understood boundaries or not wanting to take too many steps before you knew the relationship would hold but some things never sat right with you. It took a few years but it wasn't until you overheard some of your project group talking that it finally hit you; most people you knew didn't want to date their best friends for two reasons.

1. It could ruin their friendship. This reason was obvious and of course you understood.

2. They'd seen way too much.

You remember hearing those words and your head lifting, confused and wondering what that could even mean. When you were in a relationship that would eventually progress, weren't they just going to see those things anyway? You never could let that thought go, not once you decided that would only make it better; it would make a relationship stronger. Well, in your eyes.

Dating was something that seemed to come easier to you before those thoughts started polluting your mind; no one seemed to understand or see you in a way you really wanted. The ideal person for you was someone who saw everything; the bad days, the good days and the maybe okay but not so great days. It was really starting to mess with you. By not wanting to date certain friends, were you restricting yourself from the relationship you really wanted?

Only one person, one friend, knew you better than you knew yourself, you were positive of that. Your best friend of nine years, Junhee, had probably been through almost every bad thing possible in life with you. You began recalling all the situations you'd been in with each other that were memorable; the things you wouldn't have faced with anyone else because you didn't want anyone else to see.

'Do you remember when you got your belly button pierced?'

And that's when it began.

The question came out of nowhere, breaking the silence of your apartment and leaving Junhee to look up from his book confused and blinking. 'Uh.. yes?' His response came out slow, hesitant like he was missing some weird in-between the lines meaning of the question.

Your head tilted, finally looking over at him. 'Do you remember the way you squeezed my hand to the point it was purple because it hurt so bad you nearly passed out?'

His features flushed at the ridiculous memory being forced back into his head. 'You mean the same day you had to cling to me, crying because your first tattoo felt like your leg was being seared off?'

You hated crying in front of people for any reason but you couldn't go alone; you'd never go alone for something like that. You just nodded in response before returning to your own book, continuing to read like you hadn't brought the subject up at all.

Your first date after you began recalling things and getting far too deep in what could only be sentimental thoughts went okay. A friend of your friend's, Sehyoon, who was an art major and knew of you but didn't know you; he'd never really integrated himself into the small friend circle on campus but Byeongkwan spoke highly of him.

He was sweet; a gentleman. Pretty much anything you could really ask for but you noticed little things; minute things that didn't even matter. You felt like you were being unreasonable or judgmental despite only picking out things that didn't match. Didn't match what, exactly?

He wasn't Junhee.

The realization had you suddenly shooting up from your seat, interrupting the poor male's answer to your question about his major and spilling out several apologies as you even fought to put money down for your own food. It took quite a few more 'I'm really sorry's before you were speeding out of the small restaurant; you'd make sure to call him later.

You found yourself in the only place that made sense: banging hard on the door of the RA for your building, hardly caring if you disturbed anyone else.

'What?' was the greeting you received from a very frustrated Donghun, wanting nothing more than to be left alone again. And yes, you called each other your friend.

'We have a really, really big problem.'

Being a mutual friend and despite not wanting to get involved in anyone's "drama", he spent two hours talking you out of it, down from it and against it, reminding you just why your newfound feelings for your best friend were a problem. He even reminded you of your comment, three years ago, about how you could never possibly like Junhee; how he remembered that and you didn't, you didn't care to ask.

You returned home a wreck, tired and wanting to burn your own emotions. Were you really uncovering some unconsciously buried feelings or did you just like the fact that he /saw/ you? He'd seen you nearly on your deathbed sick.

He'd seen you living in a depression nest for two weeks, barely able to get out a bed and eating nothing but honey buns and cereal.

He'd seen you grieve family members and pets; seen you walk into the rain and scream at the top of your lungs because of how lost in despair you'd been.

He'd seen you drunk and stupid; he'd seen you the night after a one night stand and hungover to the point you wanted to fight the sun.

He'd sat by you absolutely throwing your guts up.

He had seen every single side of you and you'd seen the same from him but it only started to stack further and further.

You knew his favorite songs because God forbid he only have one. You knew his favorite color, favorite food and his weird retirement plan that involved a tiny petting zoo of his own that he refused to just call a farm. Your pins for everything were each other's birthdates and he was the only other name on your bank account. Why?

Staring down at the menu you'd seen over a hundred times, you were sure, you couldn't decide on just what sounded good and part of you just wanted everything. Those moments staring at words that started to blur, you noticed Junhee hadn't touched his menu and kept shifting around, visibly uncomfortable for reasons you couldn't possible figure out.

'It's unlike you to not be going off about the food here.. or already having ordered your favorite drink that, I recall, you said you'd die without if you didn't have it every time you came here,' you began, closing the menu and setting it down with narrowed eyes, 'what's going on?'

'It's stupid. Just.. order and get some food, I'll probably just eat later. I'm not really hungry.'

That was a bold faced lie and you knew it, the concern growing. 'And, what's the oh-so-stupid reason, exactly?'

It took him a minute, shifting more and acting like a child who had gotten in trouble. 'I, uh.. I can't really..' he gestured around, lips pursed and growing even more upset by the second, you could tell by the way he was trying to stop himself from frowning. 'Can't really afford it.' You were college students, it wasn't the world's biggest secret if you couldn't afford something.

'Do you really think I'm just going to eat in front of you?' You snorted, avoiding any comment that would further his being upset over the situation, 'Don't worry about it and order, okay?'

Financial struggles were no quiet matter between the two of you and never had been since you started school. Junhee lived off campus in an apartment with two shitty roommates, a terrible part time job and parents that pretty much didn't care if he perished on the side of the street somewhere. You, on the other hand, which you didn't like bringing up, were doing fine but only because your parents dropped something of an 'allowance' into your account for foods and necessities.

You ignored his attempt to argue and told him if he didn't order something, you were going to do it for him; he shut up.

The next day, you took a trip to the bank.

You could feel eyes on you as you splayed across the couch, staring at the ceiling and contemplating life and all of it's annoyances. No question left you but even if you wanted to say something, you were cut off.

'So, are you going to tell me what's going on? For the past.. three weeks? You've been asking me all sorts of weird stuff,' Junhee inquired, frowning thoughtfully, 'Are you testing me or something? Trust me, yes, I remember every single second I've spent with you. I remember every word you've said, the names of every guy you've been with and the ones I'd like to fight. I remember every birthday and gift I've given you and the ones you've given me. Yes, I remember your favorite things and everything so, what's the deal?'

It sounded sentimental at first but then you noticed that all too familiar waiver in his voice and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his hands fiddling with the chain bracelet that had adorned his wrist for five years; he wanted to cry. A crying Junhee was something no one ever wanted on your hands and you briefly recalled a phone call from a very panicked Byeongkwan because of just that but you were letting your thoughts get off topic.

'I think I'm in love with you.'

'If you don't want to be fri-'

You were both cut off as your head turned to finally look at him, soaking in the unreadable expression on his features when someone busted through the door; 'Look!'

Both of you looked towards your two friends that invited themselves into your door, one holding a new cat and the other looking just as pleased with the announcement but it gradually dropped. 'Shit, did we interrupt something?' Of course, you always knew when you finally and truly confessed to someone that it would be Byeongkwan who ruined the whole thing; you used it as an escape, though, reminding yourself of what the confession could do to your friendship.

'New minion, I see,' you chimed, sitting up and ignoring the question, both of them, as you rose to greet Donghun's new pet. You were ignorant to the looks shared between the three boys and you were happy about that.

Now, you just had to avoid it ever coming up again until it was forgotten.

Junhee, however, didn't want that to happen.

After about an hour of chitchatting and ignoring the gaze of your best friend, you excused yourself under the excuse of having a meetup for a class, despite it being your dorm, and managed to weasel your way out. There was really nowhere to go, no one to talk to and you surely didn't have any plans for the next week; you ended up at the café on campus. It was quiet and filled mostly with a few students doing work and the two members of staff behind the counter, one eventually joining you at the table. He didn't say anything, waited for you to stop your dramatic Disney scene and acknowledge him.

'Would you date me, Yu?'

Taken a bit off guard, he ended up snorting. 'I can't tell if this is a trap or you want the genuine answer,' he replied, crossing his arms atop the table, 'but, on the hand that it's serious.. probably. I mean, I definitely wouldn't turn you down. We've known each other for a few years, hang out on a regular basis.. get along and have a lot of similar interests. So, yeah.'

The answer made your lips draw into a deep frown and you tapped your fingers against the cup, soaking up every word. 'Even though we're friends? What if we broke up?'

A soft 'ah' came from him as he realized what was really going on and he shrugged, thinking it over for a minute or two. 'We're both adults and I don't believe either of us would do something so that the breakup would be something that could ruin our friendship. I understand it would be like.. friends then it being intimate then back to friends, but I think both of us are mature enough to deal with that and not let it bother us too much.' He spoke like he'd been through it several times and in reality, it had only been once, a small fling with a mutual friend but they still seemed pretty okay. 'Is this about Jun?'

'Does everyone know?' You groaned out, releasing the cup to lean back and rub your hands over your face in defeat, 'I.. I told him I think I love him then Kwan and Donghun showed up and I bailed because now I don't actually want to face him or admit to ever actually saying it. I do! I do love him! I don't.. I don't want to lose him, you know?'

You could see the way the latter looked at you, sympathetic and calculating what words wouldn't just stress you out further. 'Look.. I know you don't want to hear it from me or anyone else for that matter because you want to keep saying it'll ruin your friendship when in reality, you don't like the idea that you could hurt each other, I was the same way with Donghun, so I understand.. but, you should really see all this from an outsider's point of view. Junhee looks at you like you hung the moon and you look at him like he painted the stars; yes, it's been like that since I've met you and a reminder, it's been years. I don't know what took you so long to realize it or if you've just avoided it this whole time but anyone would have to be blind not to see it. Now,' he sighed deeply as he finished and straightened, 'I think you should probably go and talk to him about it considering you just confessed then ditched but it's your choice. I don't think you have anything to worry about.. for either of you. You're the most loyal person I know, so I have no doubt you'd ever hurt him in a way that would ruin you guys and he can barely swat at a fly or sit still through hearing thunder, you think he's going to do something? Regardless.. one of these days, soon, you'll have to face it and I really hope you don't go into it with the cliché reason of your friendship being ruined.'

The words sank in slow and you wanted nothing but to cry your eyes out because he was right; he always was and you hated it. It took a while for you to speak and he seemed okay with that, briefly leaving you to fill a couple orders before returning. 'I know you're leaving for break tomorrow.. tell him before then.' Those were his last words before he bid you good luck and a good night, heading back to his own dorm, most likely to call Donghun now that he'd projected just a little bit.

Irrationality was a word that would be in your character description box and the word stupid could very well be right next to it because when you got home, you packed your bag and decided to leave early, not bothering to let any of your friends know. You needed time and you were being selfish, so selfish to the point you thought maybe he'd just hate you when you got back.

Oh boy were you wrong.

Two days into being back home and confiding in your mother who promptly smacked you upside the back of the head, you found yourself sitting on the porch and moping, split between what to do. You suspected the boys were a bit angry with you when you noticed the ample amount of texts, voicemails, social messages and phone calls that had gone ignored; you caught a glimpse of the absolute book Yuchan took the time to send you, leaving you kind of scared to even open it. It didn't take long for the guilt to set in but you chose to wait until you were back on campus to deal with it.

Or at least, that was your plan.

'So, I know you've never been a fan of confrontation but.. you've never been the type to run away.'

The sudden voice startled you as you hadn't even noticed anyone pull up and of course, upon looking up, you were met with the face you were trying to avoid the most. Junhee stood at the end of the sidewalk looking pitiful and shifting his weight in a nervous manner. You didn't bother trying to speak, not knowing what to say but you did wait for the rant, the berating that you deserved; that wasn't who he was though.

He even stayed quiet for a minute or two, making his way closer to sit on the steps, looking up towards your figure. 'Did you mean it?'

You could have answered right away, poured your heart out and let out the tears you'd been holding in since the moment you left. Instead, you stayed quiet and pulled your knees closer to your chest, not trusting your own voice. He didn't relent though, reaching out to lightly nudge your knee.

'That's all I need to know.. did you mean it? If.. if you didn't I can just leave and we don't have to bother with it again.'

'And, if I did..?' Finally finding your voice, you looked over to him, chewing hard on your lower tier, nervous and kind of wanting to throw up.

You could see him thinking it over before a faint smile showed up. 'I'd most likely cry.. but I'm going to cry either way,' he began, shrugging his shoulders while moving up to sit next to you, 'I'd also tell you that I love you, too and I've been trying to tell you that for years now.'

The confession made your heart flutter, your skin burn and the butterflies being kept back burst in delight in your gut. 'Even.. after everything we've been through? Everything you've seen..?'

Junhee nodded. 'Mhm. I'd go through it all again and what do you mean? I've seen nothing but you.'

[gwynbleiddyn]

if you're asking about ships, i'd be remiss not to ask about eivor x vili?

[DEEP BREATH] HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE--

i don’t know where to start, honestly. i’ve definitely gotten heavily invested in ships before, but nothing quite to the extent of eivor/vili (at least, not since the days of OC/Canon in dragon age and mass effect,,,, lordt) and it continues to live in my mind rent free even months after i’ve finished the game, when most things are lucky to still be rattling around up here after a few DAYS

i do want to point out though that i specifically go feral over m!eivor/vili, as much as i appreciate f!eivor, and the reason for that is simply because the narrative around two men who have openly expressed (or can do so, in eivor’s case) attraction to more than one gender while living in a very tough and specific society just really gets to me. more specifically, i kind of fell in love with how each of them alone can easily be considered classic angry macho vikings or whatever, but the reality is they contain multitudes that are waaaaaay more complex and i EAT THAT SHIT UP BRO.

especially when part of those multitudes contains a whole fuckign slice of “i’ve loved you since before i knew what love was” and “whatever our souls are made of yours and mine are the same” and “in every lifetime i would find you and i would choose you” and holy shit bro. it fucking drives me crazy. 

and then on a more canonical note, just seeing how easily they slip into conversation around each other despite not seeing each other for TEN YEARS. “it sometimes seemed you never left. maybe you never did.” ONE HIT KILL RIGHT THERE. imagine being so deeply bound to someone that a whole decade can be undone in a moment because you are so fundamentally in-tune with the person sitting across from you that time is fucking MEANINGLESS. like, they can look at each other and they know what they’re thinking (eivor knowing as soon as sunniva told him there were picts, vili would have gone after them) and how they’re feeling (the entire talk at kinder downfall, eivor knew what vili’s reservations were, but he also kind of figured vili needed tough love to say it out loud - so that’s what he gave him) 

THE BANTER. the laughter. THEY SMILE SO MUCH AROUND EACH OTHER. and what’s that thing about you always look at the person you love when you say something funny because you want to make them laugh more than anyone??? THAT’S THEM. and i made a whole gifset about how eivor looks at vili because that shit ruined me, even without mocapped scenes, it was painfully obvious how much love eivor holds for this man. 

AND THEN HEMMING. THE FACT HEMMING SIGNED A LETTER WITH VILI’S NAME BECAUSE HE THOUGHT EIVOR WOULD COME TO THEM FASTER IF HE SAW VILI’S NAME FIRST. BRO. “to see you both together again” while he’s on his fuckign DEATHBED. no i fully believe hemming knew he was running out of time and, yes, he wanted eivor’s help in choosing a new jarl, but he also wanted eivor to be there for vili when he’s gone. he didn’t trust anybody else to look after his son like eivor. bro. im gonna lose my mind. 

OH AND IT ISNT JUST EIVOR KNOWING WHAT VILI NEEDS ITS VILI KNOWING EIVOR TOO -- well enough to understand that after the fucking mess of hamtunscire and cippenhamm, even when eivor goes to him with that soul-crushing question of “will there come a day where winning will not be enough?” instead of just piling on another pound of earth to the grave eivor seems to be digging himself into, vili’s just like “well you can always fight me if you want to lose” and eivor jokes back, however lamely, and once vili has gotten a smile from him only then does he tell him his thoughts - that he should enjoy this victory, whatever it brings to him. THEN QUOTES THE HAVAMAL BUT THATS ANOTHER TOPIC ENTIRELY--

yes. yes i do like this ship. just a little

send me a ship and i’ll give my honest opinion on it!

[beetlelands]

okay hey besties!!! im gonna post some of my drafts. this draft was simply titled “say uncle” and is from december 2019. it's the one i mentioned about beetlejuice being lydia's uncle, but i bet you could've guessed that.

-

-

“Lydia! Can you get the door?” Delia called out from the kitchen. The teen girl groaned dramatically in response from her spot on the couch. “Please?” Her stepmom-to-be shouted.

Lydia rolled her eyes but heaved herself off the couch. She lazily walked over to the front door, which had been loudly knocked on just moments ago.

“If I get killed, it’s all your fault.” Lydia cheerfully announced towards the kitchen before turning to open the door. Upon opening the door, Lydia’s jaw dropped.

There stood her uncle- Lawrence Betelgeuse “Beetlejuice” Shoggoth. The bastard himself.

Her shock quickly wore off into anger. She slammed the door in his face, but he simply knocked again. She took a deep breath before opening the door once more.

“Why are you here?” She spat, crossing her arms.

“C’mon didn’t you miss me?” He smiled, holding his arms out for a hug.

Lydia rolled her eyes, going to close the door again. Her uncle scrambled to keep the door from closing, pushing it open.

“What do you want?” She hissed, eyes narrowed at the man.

“Lucy, I’ve got some ’splaining to do.” He joked yet his tone was somber.

Lydia sighed but opened the door wide enough for him to enter. She walked to the couch, leaving him at the open door. He caught on and closed the door behind him as he followed her to the couch.

She sat down on one end and he on the other. Lydia was sat cross legged, looking at him expectantly.

“You have every right to be mad at me.” He started, but was interrupted.

“I had to show up to the funeral despite wanting to mourn alone in peace, so why couldn’t you show up to your own sister’s funeral? Dude, even Juno called to give her condolences. Juno for hell’s sake!” Venom laced her words, her pent up anger bubbling over. “So yeah, I have every right to be mad at you.”

“I know that was extremely shitty for me to do, and I do not expect you to forgive me. All I can ask is that you hear me out.” He sighed. “When I heard that Emily was getting sick, I drove myself insane trying to find someone- anyone- to help her. But that just got me in way too deep with some terrible people. I was so obsessed with wanting to cure my sister that I missed her death and her funeral.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I can’t go back in time. I can’t get back that time I should’ve spent by her side through it all. I can’t get back the time I should’ve spent with you and your father- grieving with you.” He sniffled, looking down. Lydia was rendered speechless by the tears threatening to spill from her uncle’s eyes. He hastily rubbed at his eyes, as if embarrassed by his emotions.

“I don’t want to forgive you,” She started quietly, “but I don’t want to hate you forever.”

“Well that’s a good start.” He smiled a little, earning an eye roll from the girl. “You don’t have to forgive me anytime soon, but please don’t shut me out. I wasn’t there when I should’ve been, but I’m here now. I’m here for you, for Charles- for the only family I have left.”

Lydia had never seen her uncle be so open and emotional. Sure, he was occasionally too open, but that was about his wild journeys and not his feelings. The man could recall his near death experiences in gory detail without batting an eye, but here he was choking up as he apologized to his niece.

The girl hadn’t noticed her own tears brimming in her eyes until he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lydia looked up at him, and his heart ached from the time he missed.

Wordlessly, she fell into his arms and let out a quiet sob. He rubbed circles in her back, hoping to provide a further sense of comfort for the girl. Her breathing slowly evened out.

Charles walked into the room after being told by Delia that someone had knocked on the door. He had full intent to ask Lydia who was at the door, but was stopped in his tracks as he noticed the man- his brother in law. His initial glare at the man softened as he noticed him holding his daughter. Beetlejuice gave Charles an awkward smile, which he didn’t return.

He gave Lydia a small pat on the back before quietly talking to her. “Your old man’s here.”

She tensed before sitting up. She turned her head to look at Charles. “Hey dad… Uncle Beej is here.”

“I’m aware, Lydia.” He sighed, walking over to the couch. “Can you give us a moment?” His daughter nodded hesitantly before leaving. Charles sat down, taking Lydia’s place on the couch.

“Okay Chuck, I know I’ve got a lot of explaining to do-“

“The hell you do. You just up and leave without another word when your sister gets sick. No one had any contact with you.” He clenched his fist. “When Emily was on her deathbed, she asked for you. Asked where you were. And I couldn’t give her an answer because I didn’t know where the hell you were!”

Beetlejuice placed his head in his hands. “I’m the worst. I know. I’m a terrible person, but more so a terrible brother.” He looked up at Charles. “I’m not going to sit here and play the sympathy card- telling you how fucking depressed I’ve been for the past few months because of how absolutely shit I am as a person.” He evened out his breathing. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for my absence. I should’ve been here and I know I should’ve been. I should’ve been there for Emily and for you and Lydia. I should’ve fucking been there.” He seethed, angry with himself.

“Can I just ask- why? Why weren’t you there? And why are you here now?”

“When Emily told me she was sick, I lost it. You know the old conspiracy theory of the government hiding a cure for cancer and other big illnesses like that?” Hesitantly, Charles nodded. “Well I heard about these guys who were selling that kind of shit- real black market level business going on. But I was stupidly determined to get a cure. I got into some deep, deep shit that I will not be sharing for your own safety. Point is, I became so obsessed with trying to heal Emily that I pushed her away. In turn, I pushed you and Lydia away. And for that I’m sorry.” He sniffled. “I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice cracked with his anger and sincerity.

Charles was somewhat shocked by the man’s apology and how he didn’t seem to have an ulterior motive. He was just… sorry.

“I’m here now to make up for my mistakes. I know I can’t get back that time. But I’m here for you and Lydia, and wanted to apologize for not being here when it really counted.”

“Lawrence, you messed up. Badly.” Charles paused, sighing. “But your heart was in the right place. Hell, even just coming here and apologizing shows me how you’ve grown.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but-“

“I do.”

“I just- wait what?”

“I forgive you Lawrence.”

“Oh wow okay- I was not expecting that.”

“You meant well, and I know Emily wouldn’t want me to be mad at you forever.” Charles shrugged.

“Chuck I really want to hug you right now.”

With a laugh and a roll of his eyes, the taller man opened his arms to his brother in law, who launched into them. The two men embraced for a little bit before Charles tapped Beetlejuice’s back twice and he let go.

“I hope Lydia forgives me soon.”

“Was that not what that hug was about?”

“Eh not really. But she did say that she doesn’t want to be mad at me forever.”

“She’ll come around when she’s ready. She just recently came to terms with Emily’s death- not that it was an easy thing to do because trust me it wasn’t- but she’s mending and growing.” The man could’ve rolled his eyes at how much he sounded like Delia.

Beetlejuice nodded in understanding. He wanted Lydia to know he would be there for her, but would keep his distance if she wanted him to.

-

Time skip because I’m a delinquent

-

Beetlejuice made routine visits to the Deetz house. He didn’t know many other people in Winter River, and didn’t care to create connections in the small town. The only thing keeping him there was his family. When he wasn’t at the Deetz’s house, he was hiding out in the local motel. Sure, he would go out and explore every now and then, but he had no real drive to go out. Beetlejuice had gotten into the habit of laying low and was comfortable with the lifestyle. Plus, it’s not like he could go on with business as usual. He may have gotten out of everything, but that didn’t make him any less of a target than he was before. However, that doesn’t matter, as the man was more than content to lay low.

During one of Beetlejuice’s routine visits to the Deetz house, Lydia brought him to the roof. There they sat and talked for what felt like hours. She asked him about her mother, asking for stories of her. He smiled softly, a hint of sadness in his eyes, and launched into the story of Emily teaching him how to ride a bike. He kept to the lighthearted stories, despite the bittersweet taste they left in his mouth.

In between stories, Lydia spoke. Her words were quiet but meaningful. “I forgive you” she said simply, looking to her uncle for his reaction.

Beetlejuice smiled at the girl. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“I think I’m starting to.” She mirrored his smile. “Can you tell me just one more story?”

“Sure, kid.” He thought for a second before beginning another story, this one about the time they had secretly taken in a stray cat. It had to remain a secret as Juno did not approve of having pets.

He was describing their convoluted plan to keep the cat hidden from Juno when a car pulled into the neighbor’s driveway. He and Lydia both seemed to have been distracted by the vehicle. The girl waved at the man who got out of the car and he waved back- he also waved at Beej despite not knowing who he was. But Beej returned the wave out of general hospitality.

“Is Barbara home?” Lydia called to the man.

“Yeah.” He checked his watch. “She should just about be done with dinner if you want to ask Charles if you can come over.”

At that Beetlejuice’s brows furrowed. Why would a grown man invite a teenager to his house. Not that the bespectacled, plaid shirt and khaki wearing man seemed dangerous. But that didn’t make it less weird. Okay he did say to ask Charles, but unless Barbara was his teenage daughter he didn’t see any reason for Lydia to go to his house.

“Oh yes! I could definitely do without Delia’s cooking tonight.”

“She’s getting better, Lydia.” He said sincerely, almost reprimanding the teen for her comment.

“Yeah true. I’d rather (idk man some vegan food) than banana-carrot surprise.” She made a disgusted face at the memory of the casserole type dish.

“See!” The man laughed a little.

“I’ll be over in a few!”

“Would you like to bring your guest?” He asked, finally addressing Beetlejuice.

She turned to her uncle, “Wanna go?”

“Sure.” He shrugged, a protectiveness tightening his chest. He knew the man meant no harm, yet his ‘trust no one’ motto was strongly built into his mindset.

Lydia excitedly threw a thumbs up towards the man on the ground. “He’s coming with me.”

“Okay, I’ll see you two in a few.” The man smiled before heading inside.

Beetlejuice fully turned to Lydia, “Who was that?”

“Adam Maitland. He’s kinda been like a second father to me. Not that dad isn’t great, it’s just- when mom died we grew distant. Dad wanted to soldier up, and keep moving. I don’t blame him, but at the time it was hard. I was still mourning while he seemed to have moved on.” She twisted her hands together. “One day I did something I’d rather not talk about. And well, Adam and Barbara were there for me. I was sad a-and angry and scared and confused, but they just sat with me. They listened when I talked, they held me when I cried.” She shivered at the memory. “Adam and Barbara became second parents to me.”

Ah so Barbara was not his teenage daughter, but perhaps his wife.

“Well now I’m excited to meet them.” Beej smiled, standing up. He offered his hand to his niece and she grabbed it. He pulled her up effortlessly, yet still groaned as if she was super heavy. The two shared a laugh at his antics as they headed inside the house.

Unsurprisingly, Charles said yes to Lydia (and Beej) going to the Maitland’s house. So that’s where they headed.

-

Lydia knocked on the door, which was soon opened by the man from before. Adam.

Seeing him up close made Beetlejuice realize that he was… attractive? No, that’s inappropriate. The man has a wife, Beej reminded himself as he shook his hand and introduced himself.

They made it to the dining room, where Barbara emerged from the kitchen with a pan of lasagna. The woman was breathtaking, but Beetlejuice relented the thought.

She placed it in the middle of the table and took a seat. Adam sat next to her. Lydia sat across from Adam, leaving Beetlejuice to sit across from Barbara.

“Hi I’m Barbara Maitland.” She smiled, offering her hand as Adam began serving the food.

He shook her hand, “I’m Lydia’s uncle Lawrence, but you can call me Beetlejuice- or some variation of it. Everyone does.” He shrugged.

“Beetlejuice?” She raised an eyebrow, just as her husband had done,

“Like the constellation Betelgeuse, but most people just spell it phonetically. It’s uh- it’s my middle name.”

“That’s very interesting.” She smiled, tone sincere.

“How much would you like, Beetlejuice?” Adam asked, spatula over the pan in an estimated size.

“That much is fine.” He smiled, moving his plate toward the pan. Adam swiftly placed the lasagna on his plate before dishing some out to Barbara.

The group ate quietly for a while. Toward the end of their meal, Barbara spoke up.

“How was your day, Lydia?”

The girl looked up from her plate and to the woman. “It was pretty good- but it’s even better now.”

“Because you’re not eating Delia’s cooking?” The woman asked with a laugh.

“Bingo.” Lydia smiled.

“You’ve got to ease up on her, Lyds. You and I both know she’s trying and improving.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“I’ve actually been gathering vegan recipes for her, making her a personalized cookbook. Adam and I have tried out most of the recipes, and I think you’ll like them.”

“Well here’s hoping.” The girl smiled a bit, finishing up her lasagna.

Beetlejuice admired how the woman was going out of her way to help improve Delia’s cooking. Which will in turn help Lydia, who often complains about the woman’s food and asks her uncle to bring her something else to eat.

The group continued with the small talk and soon enough Lydia and Beetlejuice were walking out the door. They had been invited to stay longer, but Beej didn’t want to intrude and Lydia decided to just go along with her uncle.

But that certainly wasn’t the last time the duo would be visiting the Maitlands.

-

It had been a few weeks since Beej first went to the Maitlands house with Lydia. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think they were attractive. However, Beetlejuice wasn’t that daft. He knew they were married and knew not to impose. Sure, he once had a threesome with a married couple back in New York but that wouldn’t be happening here. Not only were Adam and Barbara clearly not the type for that kind of thing, but they were also far too close to Lydia for him to even begin considering acting on his attraction. Which was strictly that- attraction. No feelings- no strings attached. Just basic, hormonal attraction.

Beetlejuice shook the thought from his head, buttoning the last button of his shirt. He grabbed his coat and slung it over his shoulder before leaving to go to the Deetz’s house.

He was walking up the driveway when he was greeted by the neighbors. Adam held a pair of garden scissors in one hand, the other waving at the other man. Beetlejuice waved back. Barbara smiled at the man and called out a hello. He returned the

-

-

and hey? that’s where it ends. very abrupt ik, but that’s where past me stopped

[dantespilled]

Genshin inspired Ayako brainrot -

The fact that you (Dantes) are wandering around an island in search of something, but you can’t quite put a name on it, and you keep seeing/passing by a girl who may or may not be dead, and she seems to have an idea of what you need to do in order to find/get what you’re looking for. But the island is big, and there’s a constant fog steadily rolling in, and it’s easy to get lost.

The girl’s still there when you come stumbling out of the mist, and she acts like no time at all has passed - or worse, like she’s never seen you before or like you’ve been gone for days.

She never gives her name, but her hands are stained with paint. Sometimes she sits on a hill and twirls a brush, but she never answers any questions about what she might be intending to paint.

You reach the heart of the island where nothing else lives, and the ruins of a place that must have once been lived in. She’s there, the girl you’ve been seeing all this time, but this time when she looks at you it’s different.

There are paintings, so many paintings in what remains of the rooms. All untouched, pristine in spite of the mist and age.

There’s even one of you (Dantes), waiting like it was always intended for you to take it away with you once you’re done, and it’s signed with the girl’s name.

(You can never leave, or perhaps this is your only way out. Follow the low voice that rises from the painting, and trust in someone who might be a ghost to lead you through the fog.)

And that’s what I got.

………..

PARTIALLLLLL IM GOING FULL MODE INSANE. IM TAKING THIS WITH ME INTO MY DEATHBED.

[chillyravenart]

since people were asking u for ur opinions, what is ur opinion on androw and elissa farman? im so conflicted over them both bc i love rhaena but at the same time, at least in elissas case i kinda see why she did what she did :// grrm is truly great with morally grey characters

Let me start by saying, I ADORE Rhaena Targaryen with every fibre of my being. I love that badass, she never put a foot wrong in her life and oh how I wish her life could have been easier on her... but alas, George loves kicking you when you’re down lmao. If I'm going to be completely honest, the Farmans really f*cked Rhaena over in the long run lmao but I shall try and explore a little bit deeper into Rhaena’s relationships with both of them: Androw the neglected husband and Elissa, the adventurous lover. It’s fairly simple to examine both their motives, they did what they did because of personal ambition as well as revenge, but as we know, it wasn’t as straightforward as that. I shall add a cut below because this post might be long and rambling as usual, so I beg forgiveness in advance!

I will preface this however by saying that I’m really glad Rhaena was able to find love with Elissa Farman after a period of turmoil and unhappiness in her life. Androw unfortunately was just a cover, and younger than Rhaena too so it’s understandable that he may have been entranced and besotted with the idea of marrying a Targaryen princess as reputable as Rhaena. Androw was unassuming and wasn’t the typical martial lord like his father or brother,

at his own father’s court there were those who scorned him as “half a girl” himself, for he was soft of speech and gentle of nature...

We all know the type of person Rhaena was however, she was firm and stern, had lost her brother/husband Aegon to Maegor, been married to Maegor and  had her daughters taken from her, had escaped him and had generally endured a great deal up until then.

Later, when asked why she had chosen such an unpromising spouse, Rhaena Targaryen replied, “He was kind to me.”

It’s completely understandable why Rhaena should seek comfort and solace outside of the royal court and King’s Landing in general. Similarly, Rhaena had always found the company of her female companions much more desirable and is largely implied to lesbian-coded. She had enjoyed the company of Melony Piper and Samantha Stokeworth as a girl, and found the same affinity for Elissa.

“The queen found her true love on Fair Isle,” Maester Smike wrote to the Citadel, “not with Androw, but with his sister, Lady Elissa.”

Elissa on the other hand was vivacious and outgoing, fond of dogs, horses, and sailing. She dreamed of sailing beyond the Sunset Sea and had ended both her betrothals too. Rhaena was similar in spirit, she too had been fond of animals and enjoyed flying her dragon Dreamfyre.

In Rhaena Targaryen, however, she found a like-minded companion, and in her the queen found a new confidant.

Going back to Androw, he was never really included amongst Rhaena’s circle, despite being her husband as stated in Fire and Blood

Androw Farman, Rhaena’s new husband, was admitted to their circle from time to time, but never so often as to be taken for a fifth head. Most tellingly, Queen Rhaena never took him flying with her on the back of her dragon, Dreamfyre, an adventure she shared frequently with the ladies Elissa, Alayne, and Sam...

I’m going to try and condense the next few years as concisely as possible for fear of rambling too much, but in the long run, Androw was never taken seriously as Rhaena’s husband and was ridiculed by lords and ladies alike. People doubted the fact that his marriage to Rhaena had been consummated at all. Back on Dragonstone, 

His wife was still a queen, but no one mistook Androw for a king, or even a lord consort.

Meanwhile, Rhaena held her court at Dragonstone as the Queen in the East and remained in the company of her own companions, as well as new ones from the surrounding regions. Her cousin Lianna Velaryon soon became a favourite too, and her story soon became intertwined with the fall of Androw Farman (pun intended lmao) but let’s focus on Elissa for a while.

Lady Elissa was no happier on Dragonstone than Aerea herself, however; she missed her wide western seas and spoke often of returning to them.

Elissa, true to spirit, wasn’t going to sit around at court her whole life, and desired adventure and travel as she always had done.

Denied any part of the incomes of Fair Isle by her brother Lord Franklyn, Elissa asked the Dowager Queen for gold sufficient to build a new ship in the shipyards of Driftmark, a large, swift vessel meant to sail the Sunset Sea. Rhaena denied her request. “I could not bear for you to leave me,” she said, but Lady Elissa heard only, “No.”

Already, the cracks were appearing and the discord was sowed. Elissa took her leave of Rhaena, 

She had heard the sea calling, she told Queen Rhaena; it was time for her to take her leave. Never one to make a show of her emotions, the Queen in the East received the news stone-faced. “I have asked you to stay,” she said. “I will not beg. If you would go, go.”

Rhaena was proud but I cannot deny that losing her lover would have been an immense blow to her, especially since her life of privacy and companionship was about to be taken apart at the seams in the aftermath of Elissa’s departure. This is when the dragon eggs went missing, and it became very clear that Elissa had made off with them to fund her voyage.

If this betrayal by one she had loved wounded Rhaena Targaryen she hid it well, but there was no hiding her fury...

This would have been a huge betrayal for Rhaena. She had placed her trust and love with someone who had clearly desired a different path, which is fine, but to have that paired with the theft of a priceless and potentially dangerous object would have been an added blow. Dragon eggs were strictly a Targaryen possession, something personal and almost sacred to the them. They had been coveted by Lyman Lannister during her stay with him at Casterly Rock, and despite his support and the refuge he had given her, dragon eggs were off the cards. Notwithstanding the fact that the theft by someone Rhaena had loved and the potential for those eggs to reach the wrong hands... This situation only made the relationship between Rhaena and Androw worse.

She even went so far as to summon her husband, Androw Farman, demanding to know if he had been complicit in his sister’s crime. His denials only goaded her to more rage, until their shouts could be heard echoing through the halls of Dragonstone.

Androw himself was affected by his sister’s departure, not to mention the fact that Rhaena’s fury made him a culprit in her eyes too.

Androw Farman’s discontent on Dragonstone only grew worse after his sister’s departure. Lady Elissa had been his closest friend, mayhaps his only friend, Culiper observed, and despite his tearful denials, Rhaena found it hard to accept that he had played no role in the matter of her dragon eggs.

Their relationship deteriorated further and further at this point. When Rhaena meant to fly to Storm’s End, Androw was excluded from the trip.

As her husband, he said, his place was at Rhaena’s side, to give her comfort. The queen had refused him, however, and not gently. A loud argument had preceded her departure, and Her Grace was heard to say, “The wrong Farman ran away.” Her marriage, never passionate, had become a mummer’s farce by 54 AC. “And not an entertaining one,” Lady Alayne Royce observed.

Again after Elissa’s departure, Rhaena disassociated from Androw further, particularly when it came to dealing with the matter of the stolen eggs. She clearly did not want him around, nor did she care for his input.

When Rhaena flew to King’s Landing to inform King Jaehaerys of the theft, Androw had offered to accompany her. His wife refused him scornfully. “What would that serve? What could you possibly do but fall off the dragon?”

When her mother, Queen Alyssa died in childbed, Rhaena’s fury was famously unleashed upon Rogar Baratheon (it’s what he deserved too lmao). 

By the time Rhaena returned from her mother’s deathbed, he was well past any desire to comfort her. Sullen and cold, he sat silent at meals and avoided the queen’s company elsewise. If Rhaena Targaryen was troubled by his sulks, she gave little sign of it. She found consolation in her ladies instead, in old friends like Samantha Stokeworth and Alayne Royce, and newer companions like her cousin Lianna Velaryon, Lord Staunton’s pretty daughter Cassella, and young Septa Maryam.

Androw at this point, began concocting his revenge and the mysterious “sickness” that took Rhaena’s companions proved to be poison. Alayne Royce, Septa Maryam and even Samantha Stokeworth all died in quick succession leaving Rhaena bereft. Lianna Velaryon, Rhaena’s cousin also perished in Rhaena’s arms as she wept bitterly.

“You weep for her,” Androw Farman said when he saw the tears on his wife’s face, “but would you weep for me?” His words woke a fury in the queen. Lashing him across the face, Rhaena commanded him to leave her, declaring that she wanted to be alone. “You shall be,” Androw said. “She was the last of them.”

When it was discovered that poison was the reason behind all the deaths, Rhaena realised who the culprit was and had her men search for Androw.

He made no attempt to deny the poisonings. Instead he boasted. “I brought them cups of wine, and they drank. They thanked me, and they drank. Why not? A cupbearer, a serving man, that’s how they saw me. Androw the sweet. Androw the jape. What could I do, but fall off the dragon? Well, I could have done a lot of things. I could have been a lord. I could have made laws and been wise and given you counsel. I could have killed your enemies, as easily as I killed your friends. I could have given you children.”

His motives were very clear and to a degree, understandable, but seriously, what a PUNK move. tired of being ridiculed and ignored, Androw had taken his fury out on Rhaena’s friend instead of confronting her or dealing with her directly and that, in my eyes, is a bitch move indeed. I can totally see his side in this, but Rhaena had faced so much adversity in her life, the loss of her daughter Aerea, her mother, her lover had just culminated into a deep pit of heartbreak and Androw’s “revenge” was just the cherry on top. When Rhaena commanded his execution, Androw took matters into his own hands one last time.

And so saying, he slashed ineffectually at the nearest man, backed to the window behind him, and leapt out. His flight was a short one: downward, to his death. Afterward Rhaena Targaryen had his body hacked to pieces and fed to her dragons.

I mean, it’s what he deserved. 

The remainder of Rhaena’s life ended up being a lonely affair. Losing everyone she loved, particularly Aerea was the last straw for her I guess, and she withdrew from the public eye even further, and left Dragonstone too.

It was a melancholy time. Dragonstone was still hers if she wanted it, Jaehaerys told his sister, but Rhaena refused that as well. “There is nothing there for me now but grief and ghosts.”

It just makes me so heartbroken for her. I’m not going to pull a PooR BaBy a la Tumblr and call her a tragic and downtrodden woman in the conventional sense lol but her life was a very tough one, and would have broken a weaker person. Rhaena Targaryen was STRONG. As she said so herself, she was much like Visenya and doesn’t need our pity, but there’s no denying that Rhaena really got the short end of the stick. She absolutely did not deserve those betrayals. You’re absolutely right in calling Elissa and Androw grey characters, which they are in various degrees. I think they create the conflict and heartbreak very well in the life of Rhaena Targaryen, love, loss blood and betrayal all woven in expertly by George as always. I really wish Rhaena could have found love and peace with Elissa, and lived out her life amongst her beloved friends but alas, that was not to be. Anyway, these were my opinions on both Elissa and Androw, I hope this answer was somewhat helpful! 

[boleyn-falcon]

Unlikely Shepard

So here it is! i finally finished the one-shot for @moan-jeutas with the prompt “you’re bleeding” with reluctant caretaker Jane and Joan!

synopsis - Joan is sick and the Ladies in waiting call in a very reluctant Jane Seymour to handle it while they are doing the show for things to just take a bad turn. 

Trigger warnings - Vomiting, illness, blood/pus, open wound, skin picking/scratching - tell me if i need to add anymore!

words - 3012

 Joan had been insisting that she was fine for about a week, that was clearly a lie. For the past few days she's been running fevers,aching, having headaches, all of those kinds of things but still came to work as if she was right as rain. She was about as “right” as a category five hurricane on a small island. Joan thought if she didn't show up to work they would fire her and everyone would hate her, so she had never missed a day of work. She woke up around 7 as normal, but right as she began to get out of bed a searing pain shot through her abdomen. She was taken aback by this, literally and metaphorically and fell back onto her bed. ‘Shit that's not good’, the pianist thought, she tried to stand once more but all she managed to do was fall face first onto her carpet. All that came out of her was a low grunt and pained “Ow-damnit”. She laid there for a solid five minutes to see if the pain would subdue but it just got worse and worse.

She eventually, but very slowly, made it to the kitchen to see Maria making her morning coffee. She stumbled past her and to the cabinet to grab some ibuprofen but was stopped by the drummer in her tracks. “Are you okay Palomita? You don’t look well, should we call in the-”, Maria was stopped mid sentence by the blonde. “No no! Heh don’t worry, im fine, yep completely okay to work”, right as she finished her sentence another wave of sharp pains hit her like a truck, causing her knees to give out. She hit the tile with a small whisper-like attempt at a shriek that just came out as a pained squeal and wrapped her arms around her torso. Maria was quick to grab her bridal style and get her to the couch with the pain killers and a glass of water.

Right as Joan is settled onto the coach Bessie and Maggie finally decide to come down stairs. “Shit is Joey okay?”, Maggie said worriedly as she picked up her pace and found her way to her friend’s side on the couch. “No, i'll call in and say that me and her need to stay home today”, Maira stopped as she heard a groan to her side, “No i promise i'm fine just-”, “No Joan, your staying whether you like it or not”, Bessie said firmly. Bessie turned and walked into the kitchen as she began to call someone. “Hey Seymour you know how you have a lot of free days saved up?... Yea so do you mind coming over for a  day and watching Joan?.. Okay thanks, she was just ill and all, yea text me when you're on your way over”. The rest of the ladies looked to the black haired bassist with confusion, waiting for her to explain. “Jane is going to stop by for the day to take care of Joan while we are at the show”, Bessie said nonchalantly. “Wait”, the drummer started. “ how’d you convince her to do that so easily?”, “Well she owed me one so yea she was hesitant but she didn't really argue it” .

You would think the timid blonde would love the idea of Jane coming over to take care of her right? Well sort of, Joan loved to idea of spending time with Jane, but she doesnt wanna be clingly or say somthing stupid to make Jane hate her. The anxiety bubbling in her stomach only got worse a few minutes later as she heard knocking at the door, she knew exactly who it was. All Joan could really do is curl up in a ball with her blanket over her head like a child hiding from a monster under her bed. She thought if she just imagined Jane wasn't even there it would make things better, she was wrong.

Maggie got up from her friend’s side to answer the door, she only hoped the Queen could help. She opened the door to see the Blonde queen with a duffle bag and an unreadable expression. “Heh heeey Jane, come on in..”, the burnette opened the door more to let her in. Jane immediately went over to the bassist who was sitting on the floor next to the couch. “So what symptoms does she have? Anything like fever or vomiting?”,Bessie got to her feet to get eye to eye with the taller women, “All we really know is that she’s in pain and as pale as an egg shell”, a small groan came from the mound covered in blankets on the couch from being compared to an egg. Jane just tilted her head and gave a confused look to the raven-haired woman. “ Wait wait, so you called me over to skip a day of work to take care of some cramps and her complection?”, Jane asked with an unamused tone,looking over to the pile of pianist on the small couch. Bessie gave a disgruntled look to the queen, “well she’s obviously in pain and needs to be looked after so nothing bad happens and you have the most vacation days… and remember the streetlight Seymour”. Jane gave a defeated look as she set her stuff down on the floor near the coffee table. Maira and Maggie just gave confused glances but decided not to question what ‘the streetlight’ was.

The next few minutes was just the Ladies in Waiting, minus Joan of course, getting ready for the day and Jane setting up the living room for the day. Maggie slyly shuffled into Bessie’s dimly lit room and gave out a small ‘ahem’ noise to signal her presence in the room. The shorter girl turned around and shot her friend a small smile, “Hey Mags what's up? Need a hair tie or something?”. Maggie gave a worried look to her bandmate, “Do you think Joey will be okay? I know Jane will be here and all but I'm still a bit worried..”, the bassist walked forward to put a reassuring hand on the guitarist’s shoulder, “Don’t worry yourself Mag, she’ll be okay, trust me okay?”, Maggie gave a slight nod and a small smile as she left the room to continue changing.

Maria was having her own little bit of worry. She finished her hair and clothes as soon as she could so she could check on her little dove. She knew how Jane and Joan’s relationship was, Jane was cold towards the clingy girl most of the time but she knew there was some part of the queen there that loved the girl dearly, she just had to let it out. The drummer also hoped Joan wouldn’t get too anxious and make herself even sicker and make things worse. She saw it before on Cathrine’s deathbed, the more worried she got, the more her sickness consumed her. She just didn’t want a repeat of what happened all those centuries ago. She quickly walked down the stairs to find Joan still in her small blanket caccoon and Jane in thier pantery. Maria walked over to the pantry where Jane seemed to be searching for something. The curly haired woman reached over and shut the door to the pantry and guided the queen over to the fridie and pulled out a container of soup. The taller woman gave a confused look as she was handed what she was looking for, “It’s broccoli and cheddar, her favorite” Maria then  grabbed a lone spoon from the counter and handed it over. “Huh funny, it’s Anne’s favorite too”, Maria cut her off slightly, “Maggie’s too, I guess Anne and her ladies all had a similar taste in soups”. Jane poured the container as the gears in her head started to turn, ‘oh yea Joan was one of Anne’s maids of honor’, she finished warming up the soup and walked into the living room to find the rest of the band waiting. “So”, the Bassist started, “We are off but make sure to take good care of her Seymour, if not you know what will happen”, both women gave a knowing look, still leaving the other two muscians confused as ever.

Maggie bent down to the bundle of blankets and gave it a nudge. A mess of blonde hair popped up from the blankets with a grumpy look that quickly changed as she saw who had disturbed her. “How you feelin’ Joey? Any better?”, Joan only gave a small huff and a sad look back at her friend. Maggie then revealed what she had in her hand to her sick comrade, a teal hoodie with a black guitar on the front. She handed it out towards the sickly girl who quickly grabbed it. “We’ll be back soon, little Roo”, Maggie gave a smile as Joan held the hoodie close with a barely audible ‘thank you’.

The band finally left with a choir of ‘Love you’’s and ‘get better’’s. Jane finally got a chance to sit down and assess the situation. She sat the hot soup bowl down with a napkin and a spoon on the coffee table in front of Joan, ready to get to work. “Okay Joan, how are you feeling? Can you let me feel your temperature so I can see if I need to give you anything for a fever or not?”, Joan anxiously sat up from her blanket cocoon to finally address Jane. She bit her lip shyly as she decided to actually speak to her queen. “W-well I've been having waves of really bad pain in my stomach a-and I’m kinda nauseous, oh yea-yea you can check my temperature”, the pianist gave a worried glance to the older woman as she leaned forward and touched her lips to her forehead. Jane’s head shot back in surprise, “Joan you're practically on fire! You gotta take all of those blankets off, and go change out of those fuzzy pajamas and into a tank top and shorts”. The pale girl got up carefully and slowly made her way up the stairs to her room so she could change.

‘Jeez’ Jane thought, ‘It can't be that bad, I mean colds happen all the time she could have probably handled this herself, yea she completely could’. Jane places all of her cold medicines on the coffee table and walks into the kitchen to find an ice pack to put on the younger girl’s head till her fever let up. Right as she reaches the freezer she hears a large ‘thunk’ come from up stairs. Jane first thought nothing of it till she got back to the living room with a mickey mouse ice pack in hand, realizing Joan has been changing for 8 minutes now. She put the ice pack down and walked up the stairs to Pianist’s room to find the girl sprawled out on the carpet. She had only some navy athletic shorts on and a sports bra with a white tank top a few feet away from her body. As Jane bent down to get the girl up she noticed she had begun shivering like it was below freezing. She quickly scooped the girl up in her arms and speedily got her to the couch to lay her down. Her eyes were half open but also seemed pained. The now concerned caregiver put the small ice pack on the girl’s burning forehead and nodged the girl’s shoulder. “Joan..? can you talk to me at all?”, the sickly girl only gave a small whimper as she closed her eyes and dozed off. The motherly queen was originally very reluctant to help the clingy young girl, but her worsening state made her a lot more concerned for the poor girl’s health. She was slightly glad Joan could get some rest for that would surely help.. Right?

About 3 hours passed and the pale MD was still passed out. Jane had eventually put the soup back in the fridge and started reading a book on her phone, waiting for the girl to wake. The queen finally took a break from her novel and started to give the sick girl a good look to find anymore concerning symptoms she may have when she spotted something odd. She got closer to get a better look to only find a gnarly scab right above the girl’s hip. The area around it was raw and red, with even a hint of green and white showing infection. A lightbulb finally went off in her head, ‘This isn't a normal cold, it's an infection caused by this wound, but how did it happen?’. The older woman was put out of her train out thought by Joan stirring in her sleep. The stirr soon turned into thrashing as her legs started to kick and silent tears streamed down her face. Jane quickly jumped into action, she took the sick musician by the shoulders and shook her. “Wake up Joan! C’mon wake up!”, Joan’s eyes shot open and she started to trash even more to break out of the blonde’s grip. Her hands found their way to her damaged hip and began to scratch relentlessly.

Jane quickly grabbed the girl’s wrists and pinned them above her head, but it was too late. “You’re… bleeding”, the wound on Joan’s hip had been reopened by the scratching and started to bleed and ooze pus. The MD began to sob uncontrollably and hyperventilate. The blonde queen finally let go of Joan’s wrist to grab some antiseptic and large plasters. Before Jane could stop her, Joan got up and attemped to get to the bathroom but collapsed half way there and threw up onto the wooden floor. Jane was extremely overwhelmed, she set the medical supplies down and walked over to joan and tried to sit her upright so she wasn't lying next to her own bile on the floor. She grabbed the napkin in her pocket and cleaned Joan’s mouth, she carried the ill girl over to the toilet in case she needed to get more out. The older blonde quickly walked back to grab the medical supplies so she could clean up the infected wound as soon as she could.

The choked sobs of the pale girl continued until she felt arms wrap around her. “It's okay Little Lamb, you’ll be okay just calm down for me”, Jane’s soft voice made Joan’s sobs slowly diminish and just turned into a silent cry. The pair sat there for a solid ten minutes, all Jane did was whisper comforting words and keep her hold on Joan, making sure she had time to calm down.

The queen carried the MD back to her spot on the couch and handed her Maggie’s jacket to hold while she cleaned up the bile from the floor. When she returned she had a bottle of antiseptic and a towel in her hands. Joan gave a confused and worried look to her caregiver. “Okay Joan can you turn on your side for me sweetheart?”, the pianist hesitantly obliged, Jane put the towel on the couch and Joan’s lower back area and sighed. “This is going to hurt a bit Little Lamb.. I promise it’ll be over soon but i have to do this ..”, the concerned woman poured the antiseptic on the infected gash and Joan let out a heart wrenching shriek that shook the house. The wounded girl squirmed and held tightly onto the teal hoodie in her arms as she tried not move even more than she already was. Jane continued to clean the bloody and pus covered wound to the best of her ability and finished it off with a large plaster.

After a few minutes Jane sat next to the ill girl and put a comforting arm around her,“I know that you probably don’t wanna talk about it but i'll ask anyway, but why Joan? What caused you to do this to yourself?”. Joan shuffled uncomfortably but she figured she might as well tell the queen the truth, she did just clean up her throw up after all, she deserved the truth. “I...I just get so sacred and so anxious, it just happens I guess, it's an outlet of sorts”, Jane gave a concerned glance, “But why are you so scared and anxious? Is something going on Little Lamb?”. The pianist paused but decided to spill her guts, “Everyone hates me i just know it, I’m too helpless and too clingy… and if i can’t do my job right people are gonna hate me even more then they will fire me and then i'll be useless…”. Jane stared silently at the girl next to her for a moment and thought, ‘Had Joan really been suffering this much? Was her coldness making this all worse? This needs to change and it needs to change now’.  Jane wrapped Joan in a bear hug as the sick blonde began to silently cry again.

“Joan”, Jane started slowly, “You need to listen, no one hates you, I promise, not any of the queens and especially not your girls. We all love you very much Joan, we care about you so very much, we will always be here for you”, she finished with a soft smile. She held Joan tight and kissed her temple as the ill girl began to calm down. “So how about we watch some movies? Will that help at all Little Lamb?”, Joan nodded and looked up at the queen, “Can we watch Aritocats..?”, Jane nodded and turned on the Tv and put on the movie. They laid back comfortably and started to watch. Joan moved to lay on Jane’s chest and that's how she stayed till her bandmates came home to find her sleeping while Jane continued her book.

“Good job Seymour, thank you”, Bessie whispered as she moved the tired blonde from Jane to her room. The Taller women gave a small smile as she left, thankful that she helped the ill girl when she needed it most.

-----------------------------------------

wow okay I stayed up till 5AM to finish this while also drugged up on adderall and I think it actually turned out kinda good, i mean i still suck at writing but hey what can’ya do? and its my first angsty kinda fic so it prolly sucks more lol

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

a most holy sin

i watched Bohemian Rhapsody and cried at least 12 times so of course i was (loosely) inspired by it and had to write an ineffable husbands fanfic. i definitely listened to a Best of Queen playlist while i wrote it, too. i hope you enjoy and please forgive historical and medical inaccuracies because im sure there are some. also for some reason the line break isn't working?? i'm going to try to add it again later.

(I know Gabriel does not technically outrank Aziraphale but for the sake of plot he's gonna be in charge of Earthly affairs.)

WARNING: There is usage of homophobic slurs at a point in this story. If you are sensitive to such, either be wary as you read or simply do not read this fic. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings if you keep scrolling.

~*~

"I'd like to be temporarily stationed in America."

Gabriel looked up from his desk, every inch of it covered in paperwork. Glasses that Aziraphale knew very well the archangel did not need slid down his nose. Gabriel pushed them back up. "Why?"

Succinct. As per usual. Aziraphale pretended that he was not twisting his ring anxiously around his pinky as he spoke. "Well, I do read American papers every so often, and I've been keeping tabs on a certain, er, an epidemic, of sorts, that is happening over there."

Gabriel removed the silver frames from his nose, folding them and placing them on his desk. "Right. The AIDS epidemic."

"Yes," Aziraphale murmured. "Yes, quite. I assure you that I don't intend to miracle up a cure for the disease. It's best to let humans work through that on their own, I assume. I simply wish to - to ease the pain of those in the final stages."

Gabriel was silent. Aziraphale began to wonder if he was pushing his luck with this request. He'd nearly been discovered with Crowley only two decades or so ago, not to mention his boss was not known for being the friendliest or the most sympathetic of angels -

"Yes."

Aziraphale blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"I said yes, you may go." Gabriel sighed, scrawling his signature on a document in glittering gold ink before shoving the paper away. "I have also been keeping up with information on the epidemic. Those victims could certainly use some angelic kindness right now, what with so many being rejected by their families even as they're on their deathbeds. Beelzebub undoubtedly has a special place in Hell for those sorts of nasty people, I'm sure."

"And we have a special place in Heaven for the victims?"

"Precisely." Gabriel returned his attention to the stack of papers in front of him. "You're dismissed, Aziraphale. Don't stay too long."

"Of course," Aziraphale breathed, nodding. He was almost unable to believe everything had worked out so well. "Thank you, Gabriel." Not wanting to overstay his visit and risk having the decision reversed, Aziraphale promptly left. He considered taking the back exit out, but it wasn't as if he was in a rush. He still had to pack, after all.

It was quite a shame he couldn't simply miracle himself to America. Airplanes were... Less than enjoyable, in Aziraphale's opinion. But miracles had to be preserved.

He didn't want to think about how many he might have to perform in the very near future.

~*~

America, circa 1990

Aziraphale had ditched his usual tartan suit for new tartan scrubs. He was posing as a nurse, working in a ward delegated specifically to victims of AIDS in the final stages. As much as it pained him, he refrained from miracling them back into health. God probably would not take too kindly to that, what with the circle of life and all, even considering Her infinite generosity. Instead, Aziraphale eased their pain as they passed to Heaven. If nothing else, they deserved to know that good things awaited them on the other side.

"Room 636, Nurse Fell," a woman called to Aziraphale as he walked down the hall. Her voice had the rounded edge of a faint Southern drawl. "He's got family with him right now, but they'll be out soon."

"Right. Thank you." He nodded at her as she passed. Aziraphale had memorized the layout of the hospital before he'd started "working" there - it helped him maximize his time with the patients. Not to mention he had to be back in Soho before the end of the year.

"This is your own fault, you know."

Aziraphale froze.

"You're the who grew up and decided to be a fucking fag, goddamnit!"

He recognized that tone. It was one he heard all too often in the AIDS ward.

"And now that choice is killing you. Just like it killed your little queer boyfriend."

Aziraphale resisted the urge to swear. Of course the voice was coming from room 636.

"Hope you're happy with yourself. Hope you're proud."

The man's words were laced with more venom than the world's deadliest snake could provide. Aziraphale reached for the door handle, only to find that it had been locked. Very much against hospital regulations, but also rather common in these situations.

"This is the devil's consequence. You know why they're calling it the 'gay plague'? Because only fags are getting it." The man sighed, an intensified frustration bleeding into his tone. "You just had to be a queer, didn't you? You had to be the family disappointment." His voice dropped, and he growled the lethal blow. "I can't believe I ever called you my son."

Aziraphale didn't care if Heaven reprimanded him. He snapped his fingers, unlocking the door and entering the room without a moment's hesitation. He straightened his back and stared down the father. "Sir, I am going to have to ask that you leave here immediately."

The man's lip curled in disgust. "A queer nurse? I should have known."

Aziraphale ignored the comment, standing his ground. "I must insist that you leave, or else I'll be forced to call security."

For a moment, Aziraphale was afraid the man wouldn't go. But after a long pause, he left in a furious silence.

Aziraphale rushed over to the patient's bed. He was young, in his late teens or early twenties. Still a boy, really. And that only made it all the more heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Aziraphale checked the IV in the boy's arm, making sure it remained connected. "You don't deserve to be treated like something is wrong with you."

"Maybe there is something wrong with me."

Sweat beaded the boy's forehead, and Aziraphale's heart ached a little more when he saw tearstains on his cheeks.

"Am I really going to Hell, nurse?" the boy whispered. "Was falling in love really a sin?" He closed his eyes, biting his lip in a clear attempt to keep himself from sobbing. "I loved him. I loved him so much. All I did was fall in love."

"My dear boy." Aziraphale pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed before sitting down. "Of course you aren't going to Hell. Believe me, falling in love is no sin."

"That's not what my father thinks." His voice was bitter. Much too bitter for someone who likely had just started university.

"Well, fathers don't know everything," Aziraphale replied. "Trust me, dear boy. There is nothing you have to fear in death."

The boy wiped tears from his eyes. "Yeah? How would you know?"

Aziraphale snapped his fingers. The Almighty really was not going to be pleased with him. So many miracles only a few minutes apart was sure to get him reprimanded. Or maybe it wouldn't. He never could tell what exactly She would approve or disapprove of.

The boy's eyes widened as he took in the sudden change of his surroundings. He tried to sit up, but Aziraphale stopped him.

"Careful, now. I'm simply giving you a peek into what awaits you."

The boy shook his head in disbelief. "Is this - is this Heaven?"

"Indeed." A part of it, at least. A lovely little spot of paradise that was reminiscent of Eden. Many enjoyed it when they first ascended to Heaven. A place to get acclimated.

The boy stared at Aziraphale. "You're an angel."

Aziraphale's wings fluttered, as if responding to the query. "Yes, I am. I requested to be stationed in America to help ease the pain of those suffering from AIDS. People in the... Final stages of the disease."

The boy nodded. A faint smile appeared on his lips. "That means I'm dying, then."

Young people truly were getting more perceptive. "I'm afraid so, my dear." Aziraphale snapped his fingers, and the vision of Heaven dissipated. Regretfully, his wings went, too.

The boy sighed, leaning back more deeply into the hospital bed's pillow. "Would you believe me if I told you that I'm going to miss my father?"

Aziraphale didn't respond. He knew an answer wasn't expected.

"I'm going to miss him. Even if -" The boy's voice cracked. "Even if he hates me, he was the only family I had. I forgive him, and - and I want God to forgive him, too."

"She will," Aziraphale murmured, his voice so low only he could hear it. "She always does."

The boy's heart rate was dropping. Aziraphale resisted every instinct in his body to save him. He could not interfere. It was not his responsibility to influence Earthly life and death.

"At least I'll get to see Miles again," the boy breathed. Tears were trickling down his face. "It's been a long year without him."

He closed his eyes.

The machine flatlined.

Aziraphale could sense the boy's spirit leaving his body. He returned the chair to the side of the room, then slid the curtain shut around the bed.

"I'm sorry, angel."

Aziraphale didn't know when he'd started crying. "I can't imagine even your lot could be responsible for this, Crowley."

There was a pause. "AIDS itself is one of the final gifts of Pestilence unto Earth, despite that they retired eons ago." Footsteps echoed in the quiet room, moving closer to Aziraphale. "But only humans could be so cruel to one another."

"I know," Aziraphale whispered. "And I think that's the worst part of all." He didn't even blink as Crowley stepped in front of him, brushing away his tears with his thumb.

"There's nothing you can do, angel," Crowley murmured. "You know that."

Aziraphale did know that. He hated it, but he knew it all too well. "I just - I just don't understand. All they do is fall in love, Crowley! What could have wrong in human history where they started to believe that love was sinful?"

Aziraphale expected a witty comment in response. A dry quip about Catholics, or the Shaker community. He certainly had not prepared himself for a serious answer.

"When did Heaven and Hell start believing it?"

Crowley's sunglasses slid down his nose. He took them off, tucking them into his jacket. They stared at each other, eye to eye.

"I've been - I've been wondering that myself," Aziraphale stammered. His voice was hushed. "But it's not my place to question it."

Crowley shrugged. "The Almighty has been more forgiving as of late. Since it's you, She just might allow it."

"I - I couldn't possibly."

"I know, angel." He sighed. "I know."

Neither spoke after that. But neither made a move to walk away.

Aziraphale knew he had to leave. He had to report the death of the young man so the room could be available for other patients. But he couldn't bring himself to step away from Crowley.

The stood only inches apart. Aziraphale wasn't certain whether he'd reached for Crowley's hand or if the demon had grabbed his, but their fingers were intertwined and Aziraphale knew damn well he didn't want to let go.

"How did you find me?" he finally asked. "I don't recall telling you I was leaving Soho. Or where I was going." In fact, they hadn't spoken since 1967. The night in the Bentley.

Crowley shrugged. In a rare moment of tenderness, his thumb gently brushed over Aziraphale's knuckles. "The city feels different when you're not there."

"O-Oh. I see." Aziraphale found his gaze drifting down from Crowley's eyes to his lips. He didn't fail to notice that Crowley had lessened the distance between them even further.

"Is love a sin, angel?" Crowley whispered. His free hand moved to cup Aziraphale's cheek. "Because if so, it must be the holiest sin there is."

Aziraphale would have laughed had the tension between them not been almost suffocating. "Well, my dear, I really don't think there's such thing as a 'holy' sin -"

He was cut off as Crowley captured his mouth with his. Aziraphale found himself melting into the kiss, pulling the demon towards him. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale's waist, and Aziraphale placed his arms around Crowley's neck.

He shouldn't be doing this. He didn't know why he shouldn't be, because every atom in his body was telling him that this was right, that this was love, that Crowley was all he needed -

But he couldn't.

Aziraphale pulled away, certain that regret was written all over his face. He couldn't bring himself to look Crowley in the eyes. "I'm sorry. You deserve - you deserve better than me."

Crowley laughed. It was harsh. Bitter. "I'm a demon, angel. I don't 'deserve' anything. It's part of the job description. In the fine print. Non-negotiable. You know that." He yanked his sunglasses out of his pocket and shoved them onto his face.

"No." Aziraphale's voice refused to move above a whisper. "You deserve everything, my dear. Anything you want. The whole world."

"I don't want the whole damn world. I only want you."

Aziraphale forced himself to look at Crowley. The demon's expression was unreadable behind the black lenses. "I can't, Crowley. Not now. Not yet."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "'Yet'?"

Aziraphale nodded. "One day, I'll - I'll be ready. To go faster. As fast as you. I swear it. Just - Just not today." And he meant it. More than anything he'd ever said. "Will you... Wait for me?"

A small smile appeared on Crowley's lips. It was a rare sight, but one of Aziraphale's favorites.

"For you, angel? Always."

Aziraphale blinked, and the demon was gone. He didn't know when they'd see each other again. He didn't know what the future would hold for them, either. But when Crowley had left, he'd taken all of Aziraphale's tears with him. As he so often did.

Perhaps his demon had a point.

If love was a sin, it truly was a holy one.

Maybe even one worth Falling for.

~*~

im a mess, y'all. i love these two more than i love myself. i hope you enjoyed! feel free to send me prompt requests for them or for ineffable bureaucracy because both are such good pairings.

[thesmalltowngal]

COC Snowbaz 20- S+B

COC #20: Fairy Tale/Myth Retelling

Simon as: The Prince | Baz as: Snow White | Lucy as: Queen Lucy | The Mage as: King Davy | Fiona as: The Hunter | Ebb as: The Horse | Agatha as: The Prince’s girlfriend | Penny as: The Prince’s Second in Command

~ I really really loved writing this one. I got totally lost within the story. I sincerely hope you enjoy! ~

The wood is a dangerous place. It’s full of nymphs (the tricky bloody things), dwarves, dragons, and goblins. Which is what my girlfriend Agatha had told me before I was sent on my quest by King Davy. She hadn’t wanted me to go out away from the Watford kingdom, really, but the king said there were cluster of aggressive goblins spotted on the edge of the other side of the wood, so I had to go and see for myself. After all, I was the prince, and prince’s (so I was told) had certain duties. (I had often thought that maybe I didn’t want to be prince- even though I was born that way.) 

So I kissed Agatha’s cheek goodbye and she just stood there and took it like a princess. (We were set to marry in a few months- another thing I wasn’t so sure I wanted. But, well. It was on my list of things I dare not think about.) I packed my sword and set out on my horse, on my way all alone in the wood. Of course, King Davy had wanted me to take accompaniment, but I felt as though I could do it on my own. (And maybe I was tired of always following his orders. Maybe I wanted to do something for myself.) The ride on horseback was set to take only about a day there and then a day back. That is, if I hadn’t found any trouble along the way.

So I took the ride as an opportunity to think of my duties as prince. I had thought… well, I had thought that I was a right daft bloody prince, hadn’t I? Often when I would talk, it would come out as short sputtering sentences. The king had me do speech when I was a wee ankle-biter, but it didn’t help as he thought it would. Um and er came out every other bloody word. And it didn’t help when I met Agatha through my second in command Penny. Of course, it was frowned upon to have a girl as my second, but I had known her since we were young, and I had trusted nobody more. She introduced me to Agatha, and I had thought she was bloody well stunning. Which, of course, didn’t help my stuttering. So then we dated for a short while before I introduced her to King Davy. They got on well; he was glad that I would be marrying into another rich family, as the kingdom was recently down on wealth. 

But over time, I felt as though maybe… maybe Agatha wasn’t what I wanted. Penny saw that too, I think, but although she had mentioned it to me before, I waved it off. After all, what is a prince without his lovely princess? My father (I try not to call him that, but he is the closest thing I’ve ever had to one) loved her and so did the subjects in our royal court. But for some reason, what Queen Lucy had said to me before she passed. It’s okay, Simon. It’s okay if you don’t love her the way you think you should. I’ll respect whatever you decide, love, but… it’s alright if your heart wants something else. Follow it. She said that to me on her deathbed. She was the closest thing I had ever had to a mother and her passing made me rethink… everything, really. I went a little crackers after she had went. Sometimes I thought maybe I did want to follow her advice. (My heart, that is.) But then, I’d look at all the king had done for me over the years, and I just couldn’t. Besides, I didn’t even know what my heart very well did bloody want. 

As the sun went down, I started feeling drowsy and hungry. Granted, I always felt hungry- one of the many things that contradicted the whole ‘perfect prince’ thing. I loved eating to a point of fucking obsession, and I was messy when I ate, too. Agatha always had to correct me at the table. (It bugged me when she did that; why couldn’t I just be me?) My steed - Ebb, as it were - was getting tired too. I could tell she was slowing, and I could feel her hungry stomach rumble beneath me. So we went on a bit until we hit a clearing. It was nestled in the middle of thick trees, seemingly where no one would ever find it had they not been looking, and there was a small cottage in the middle of it. (Queen Lucy once told me about the time when she and King Davy used to live in a small cottage; perhaps this was it?) 

I stopped Ebb and tied her up to a nearby tree. If someone lived in the cottage, maybe they’d spare some food and a place to sleep for the night. But as I neared the cottage and peeked in one of the windows, I saw that the inside was immaculately clean- to the point of borderline nutter. Yet no one was inside. I decided to creep around the building, and as I got to the back, hand rested readily on the hilt of my sword, I saw seven numpties. I felt a tingly feeling in my stomach; I was nervous. (Who wouldn’t be nervous? Fucking numpties. There’s no known way to kill them.) When I looked closer (still careful to be very bloody quiet), I saw that they were surrounding some sort of glass coffin. (With something - someone - inside it?) As I leaned in, I could hear bits of their conversation.

“P’raps it’d be better to grill-”

“-Roasting may be better,”

“Well he’s spelled unconscious, so it won’t matter-” Spelled?

“-be flambe?” From what I caught, it sounded like they were planning on eating someone. Not surprising, but not good, either. I could have gone back to Ebb and rode far away from there. But true to form, I could never keep my daft nose out of anything. So I jumped out in front of the numpties, standing taller than I really was. I tried to look confident, but I’m sure I just looked uneasy. (And perhaps constipated.) I s’posed there was no way I could have very well turned back then. 

“I, um-” Stop stuttering, Simon. I cleared my throat. “What rights do you have to be on the royal grounds?” They gruffly chuckled and exchanged glances among themselves. 

“Miles away from the kingdom, sonnyboy. You’re on our grounds, now.” I gulped, very showily, I’m sure. Despite wanting to run far, far away from there (see? What kind of prince runs from danger?) I held my ground and stood more confidently. 

“I’m the prince, and I’m sure that-” One of the larger ones gasped and interrupted me. 

“A prince, eh? Look at ‘im, boys! I’ve never had royal meat before…” He elbowed the numpty beside him and pointed at me. My hair was falling in my face from not having cut it in a bit, which I’m sure didn’t help my demeanor. 

“Gentlemen, I’m sure we can, erm- come to an… uh- an agreement of sorts, yes?” They all laughed at that.

“I don’t think so,” The larger one said, moving in closer to me. 

“See, we haven’t eaten in a very-” Another one started. 

“Long time.” They moved closer and closer, pressing in on me from all sides. I tried pushing against them to no avail. Just when I thought that I was going to die that way - smushed by fucking numpties of all things - one began to crumble. His friends were startled, but pressed on. But as I looked up, I saw someone agile and thin (and seemingly old- she had a white streak in her hair) hitting each numpty over the head with a… newspaper? Peculiar. When they had all crumbled, she hopped down from the rubble and extended her hand to me. 

“Paper beats rock,” She smirked. “Fiona.” I shook her hand, and decided that if she didn’t know who I was already, she didn’t need to. No need to mention the prince thing, even if I was dressed in royal linens. (Which I right hated.)

“Simon,” She smiled at me a bit and continued on, dragging me to some of the smaller bits of rubble. 

“We haven’t much time until they reassemble. Help me toss some stones in the river- they can’t reassemble if they’re missing a few pieces.” I didn’t trust her very much - it was a gut thing - but I helped her throw pieces of rock in a nearby stream and watched as the current carried them far away. When we were done, she walked back over to the cottage with me and settled beside the glass coffin. I hadn’t gone over, yet- I’d been nervous. But watching her stare down at it, I decided to move closer, right beside her. 

Inside the coffin was a bloke with long ebony black hair and skin as pale and white as snow. He had thin lips, which looked red from… (blood?) His eyes were closed, but I found myself wanting to know what they looked like open. (Perhaps that sounded a bit gay.) I didn’t know the bloke… but I thought I’d have liked to. 

“Who is he?” I found myself wondering aloud. Fiona looked at me. 

“His name is Baz. I was sent to… well, nevermind that. Just- wake him up, would you?” I nodded, even though I didn’t know exactly to what I was agreeing. “Right, well. I’ve got to be on my way… find a pig, perhaps.” She seemed to be muttering to herself, which I hadn’t really minded. I tended to do that, too. But before I could thank her for saving me, she was running back into the woods. I shook my head and turned my attention back to the bloke - Baz - in the coffin. I told Fiona that I’d wake him up, but how was I to do that? I supposed I should start with taking the lid off. So I lifted it and set it to the side, careful not to break it. 

Not knowing what else to do, I took Baz’s (very cold) hand and stared back down to his face, thinking about how the bloody hell I could wake him. I supposed I could hit him? Although that seemed borderline like abuse. I remember Prince Phillip a few kingdoms over woke Aurora with a god and proper snog. (But if you asked me, I thought the whole situation was a little rape-y. Agatha had thought it was romantic.) But I s’posed there was no other option. I remembered Queen Lucy’s words in my head again. It’s alright if your heart wants something else. Follow it. 

I leaned down over Baz’s (what a lovely name) face, and the whole time as I leaned down, I kept thinking I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, I have a… I pressed my apprehensive lips to his tenderly, and held there for a second or two. As I was pulling back, I felt a gasp dance across my lips; and it wasn’t my own. I was only an inch away from his face when his eyes snapped open. Big pools of cold grey, like the kingdom’s pavement on a rainy day. Like storm clouds or the angry sea. Like… what was my girlfriends’ name? 

He sat up quickly, knocking into my head. “Ow!” I yelped, bringing my hand to my forehead. He looked around, seemingly afraid. (He was more beautiful awake. Does this mean I’m gay? Maybe a bit.) 

“What the fuck?!” He yelled, hopping out of the coffin. He was running his hands through his hair, distressed. As his feet hit the ground, he let out an exclamation of pain. “Bloody hell, that fucking hurts!” I stepped closer to him, holding out a hand. 

“Hey, it’s oka-”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m…” I wasn’t sure if I had simply forgotten my name looking at him, or if I just didn’t want him to know I was a prince. (Both, maybe.) “Simon Snow.”

“Well, Snow, why the fuck are you here? Where am I?!” He seemed to like the word fuck.

“Well, there were numpties around, and then a Fiona came along and-”

“Fiona?” He sounded afraid. 

“Yes, and he killed them and then told me to wake you before he left, saying something about a pig. And then, well. Then I bloody kissed you-”

“You. What?”

“I, er- well, I kissed you to wake you up an-” He threw his arms up in distress. 

“Do you go around snogging every sleeping bloke you find in the woods, Snow?” 

“Well this would be a first,” I had cut myself off, sudden irritation building. “And anyway, shouldn’t you be bloody grateful, you tit? I saved you!” He scoffed and sneered at me with one eyebrow raised, all in one motion. It was breathtaking. We took steps toward each other, and I could feel his absence of heat getting startlingly close to me. (Was my girlfriends name… Amelia? Amy? Something with an A… I couldn’t think that close to him.)  

“You saved me by snogging me, you dolt!”

“At least I didn’t get kidnapped by fucking numpties!” The silence was deafening, and we were so close by then that I was sure he could hear my heart beating. How could such a (beautiful) stranger have done that to me? I thought he was going to attack me. Maybe I’d kiss him again, I thought. Maybe one more time, I’d feel his soft lips on mine before he tried to kill me. 

Then he kissed me. Roughly and aggressively and passionately; like he wanted to break me. Don’t worry, I thought. I’m already a bit broken- you are too, I think. 

We spent the rest of the night kissing and talking and getting to know each other. We ate. We slept. We fed Ebb. I think Baz fell a bit in love with her. But when we were all full and rested, I let Ebb go back to the kingdom. 

“Run back,” I told her, stroking her nose. “I’ll be okay, I promise. But don’t tell them I’m here.” I whispered to her. She nuzzled against me before I let her go. I was fairly sure I’d be okay- Baz didn’t seem like a murderer, anyway. 

But after a few days, Ebb came running back. She came back wildly and recklessly, and when Baz and I saw her, we ran to go pet and feed her. Baz still didn’t know I was once a prince. Maybe it was for the best- I didn’t have to live up to expectations, anymore. In fact, Baz didn’t have any expectations for me. I just… was, with him. As soon as Ebb had come back, we spent the afternoon riding her. We laughed and talked and pretended to hate each other, even if we were both falling a bit in love, in all actuality. (That made me right gay, I decided.) 

“I want to steer!” He’d whine. I would just laugh and push him playfully. 

“Sorry, Baz, but the front seat is for people who haven’t been kidnapped by fucking numpties.” He rolled his eyes and pretended to be offended, but I knew he wasn’t- there was a ghost of a smile there. 

…

One day, years later, when I was cleaning up the cottage, I saw something carved into the wood in the wall on the exterior of the house. 

“Baz!” I had called. He came running back, as gorgeous as ever. “Look at this, love.” I pointed to the engraving in the wood, a naff carving job. It said, L+D encased inside a heart. Baz cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows. (I loved it when he did that.)

“Who’re they?” He whispered, leaning down to rest his head on my shoulder. He smelled of cedar and bergamot, which I never understood since we lived in the middle of the forest. I smiled because I knew exactly who they were. Just two fools in love, one of them to one day rule with an iron fist, and the other… the other to become my guiding voice in everything I had done since I met her. There was something poetic about Baz and I living in that same cottage, even if I didn’t quite know how at the time. 

I turned my head and placed a soft kiss on the side of Baz’s face. He laughed softly and placed a kiss on a mole on my neck in turn. (He treats it like a target.) “Dunno. But I bet they were madly in love, yeah?” He nodded his head. 

“Yeah. Lot like us, Snow. Lot like us.” For all my life, I had felt out of place- like I wasn’t where I belonged. But then, just because of a moment in the forest, I found home. I found peace. I felt complete. 

We carved our initials in a heart right under theirs later that day.

[sikereviewdotcom]

wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on  a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling 

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged  there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood 

jk 

tg, out

[modharlow]

Today was one of those days again. The sky looked stormy yet shed no rain, the sun barely peeking out for a second before sheltering itself away. People were bustling about to do their everyday work, all seeming to enjoy themselves. Oh, how you wish that were you, but alas it was not. No, you were out here, passing through Valentine, because some sorry excuse of a father left the camp again. “Probably drunk off his ass again.” You lowly hissed out.

When Charles came up to Dutch and reported the missing man, the leaders eyes happened to fall on you to retrieve him. Fortunately he also sent Arthur with you. “I trust you kid,” Dutch started off as he lead you to your horse, “but not enough to believe you won’t kick Mr. Swanson’s ass.”

Well… at least he was cautious because he was right. If it had been just you, you would’ve beat the man black and blue—mostly out of anger but if you happen to fix whatever the hell was going on in that mans brain then that’d work fine too.

It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lied hands on him, though you never want “too far”. Given everything he’d done, or hasn’t done for better words, you going easy on him was a mercy.

”Aw, now now, little birdy,” Arthur’s voice cut through your thoughts, “I know that face. Don’t tell me you plannin’ on killin’ him this time?” His tone was joking but you couldn’t help the silent “and if I do?” that came out.

Letting out a whistle, the outlaw adjusted his hat. “You ever gonna tell me what’s the bad blood between you two?”

”On my deathbed, maybe.”

”Don’t be like that.” He replied, his tone growing soft. “He’s still your father. Doesn’t help that he’s always drunk, I know, but he’s tryin’.”

You swore you’ve never felt such hot rage boil deep inside your veins. Your knuckles turned white from your grip in the horses’ reins and your teeth clenched down to prevent you from shouting at your friend. “Arthur,” your voice was tense, just like your body, “don’t be defendin’ that man when you’ve no reason.”

The ride was silent now, save for the goodhearted people that said hello to either of you as you passed, until you both made it out of town.

Arthur let out a long sigh before taking lead and changing the direction you both were going. “C’mon, we’re gonna talk this out, you ‘nd me.”

”Arthur-”

”We’ll find him, trust me. We always do. Right now you just need to explain to me why the hell you hate his guts so much when neither of you even look at each other.”

You took note at the new destination. It was somewhere away from the roads, perfect for a private talk.

Now it was your turn to let out a long sigh. You didn’t say anything until you both ended up by some trees. From there Arthur got off his horse and motioned for you to do the same. When you did he sat both you down at the foot of a tree, perfectly protected from prying ears and the possible rain if it were to happen.

Leaning his head against the tree, Arthur spoke. “When you joined our camp you were so happy, so giddy. You didn’t have a care in the world. It was… nice. A nice change of pace.”

”I was young then. I didn’t understand anythin’.”

”What makes you think you understand now?”

Scoffing, you turned away from him brought your knees to your chest. Silently, you said, “I understand enough to know he’s a dead-beat dad.”

”Feel like elaboratin’?”

It became silent again. The horses were eating grass as the tree swayed itself side-to-side, birds flying overhead in a mixture of dull colors. All were unaware of the grief and burning hatred you held inside.

Taking in a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth, you started to pick at the dirt and rocks in the ground. “I was four when mama died.” You breathed out. “I didn’t know that’s what it was. Just thought she was nappin’, y’know? She’d always seemed so… tired.” You faintly turned to face Arthur. “Was like she lost her light.” A soft chuckle filled the moment. “Guess in the end… she did, huh?”

”I’m… Listen, I-”

”You wanna know how she died, Arthur?” You were facing him now, your face calm yet the grip you had on a spare rock from the ground said otherwise. “She used the exact mechanisms my father’s usin’ right now.” You turned your attention to the rock in your hands, fingers nimbly toying with it. “Turns out, you know, that she didn’t want a child. She wanted to be free… but was tied down because of me—and dad? Oh, well, he had his teachings to do. No, he could never come home on time or spend some moments with his only kid.” You tossed the rock away from you, your eyes narrowing to keep yourself at bay. “Don’t think he wanted a child either.”

”Now that ain’t true.” Arthur interjected before flinching slightly at your glare yet not faltering. “I dunno about your mama but Reverend loves you.”

”If he loved me then why the hell are we out here having to look for his sorry ass?!” You yelled, getting up from your spot and walking away a few steps. “If he loved me then why was he never there for me? When men would be lookin’ at me weirdly, or when kids would hurt me ‘cause I only had one parent? What about when I was almost kidnapped ‘cause his dumbass had a damn “meeting” to go too, huh?”

Arthur got up too with his hands held up in surrender as he took careful steps towards you. “Easy now. It’s okay. You’re okay.” But his words fell on deaf ears as you let your pent up emotions explode inside you.

”I was six when I learned what death was. I tried killin’ myself, then tried again a few months later. I was eight when I tried to talk to him only for him to push me away. I was nine when I ran away before comin’ back. It’s funny, you know, ‘cause it was like he didn’t notice I was gone.” You swallowed down the sob that desparely wanted to come out, instead letting whimpers leave your mouth. “I was fourteen when I realized he didn’t care for me. He never did, he only worries about himself—if you can even call whatever he’s doin’, “worrying”.”

You furiously wiped at your eyes, teeth eating away at your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying more. “Arthur. Arthur, I’m bein’ honest when I say this,” you took in a shaky breath, “I’ve dreamt of killin’ him. I’ve always felt free when I did it, too. It felt so refreshin’ to me. Was like chains were melted off and I could finally run again. It’s a feelin’ I chase after every time we have to look for him.”

When you looked up at Arthur with those vulnerable eyes, he was at a loss for words. He thinks back to his own memories of you being that happy-go-lucky kid he grew up with and felt his chest tighten. So was that all a facade so you could hide away your pain? How had he not noticed to sooner? Did anyone else know? Dutch? Hosea? You were close to those two but… did you ever really let them in?

”I’m… I’m sorry, I…” Those were not the words he wanted to say. Truly, he didn’t know what to say. He knew Swanson was not an ideal father but this—this is how you were treated? How you lived your life? “I don’t… know what to say.”

”No one ever does.”

After a short pause, Arthur felt his own anger begin to form when your died down. “Why the hell do we still keep him ‘round then? If he’s like this to you, then why don’t we just get rid of him? You’re the only one we really need. You hunt, fish, and you can even haggle someone almost as well as Hosea! He doesn’t do shit-”

”Arthur, I thank you for feelin’ my anger for me but it’s… I hate him, I do, but it’s more complex than that.” Now you felt bad for pulling your friend along with your emotions. You should’ve kept your mouth shut like you always had, only showing anger when it was just you and your dad alone.

Huffing, Arthur let his hands hold onto his belt as he leaned on his foot. “Well… we got all the time in the world for you to talk.”

While you dried off your wet face with your sleeve, you tried to formulate the correct words. “It’s… hard to explain. If he’s gone then… I’ll have no more blood-family. ‘Nd despite everythin’, well, he still let me go with him to join Dutch when he could’ve left me.” You voice trailed off, your eyes straying from the looks Arthur was giving you. “I-I know, okay? It’s idiotic for me to feel like this even after all that’s happened but I just—I can’t leave him to fend for himself. He lost his wife, ‘nd now I’m all that he has. Even if we don’t talk…”

”I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Arthur muttered as he took steps towards you. “I ain’t ever been in your boots so I guess I can’t say much but,” cautiously, he put his arms around you, “if you ever want his ass gone, just say so. Or if you… if you wanna leave ‘nd let him stay with the gang then… that’s alright. Just tell me beforehand, okay? I’d be mighty down if you up and left without a goodbye.”

You nodded your head while you returned the hug. Your eyelids stung and your body felt heavy from your outbursts of emotions, though you couldn’t deny how safe you felt right at this moment.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of being openly loved by someone you held dear to you.

Arthur had been your first since you were first welcomed to the gang and a side of you berated yourself for keeping silent from him for so long. Still, within these moments, you felt alright. You felt… free. “I won’t leave. Not when I have someone like you lookin’ out for me.” You tried to bury yourself deep into his chest, wanting to stay with this comfort for much longer. Softly, you whispered out, “Thank you.”

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.

[oflgtfol]

passengers (2016) had the potential to be such a good movie but it was written in such a wrong way and it just wound up being shitty and gross........

im in such a ranty mood lately so yeah. this is long and probably incoherent so its under a read more

like if they wrote it from aurora’s perspective it couldve been such a cool space horror film. im not a big film buff so idk but i rarely see space horror moves? i see it more often in literature. but even then most space horror stories are all like, aliens and shit, but space is so vast and interesting, space horror has the capacity to be so unique and different from normal horror... aliens are basically just the demons and monsters on earth just in a different setting

space horror stories that really get me - the ones that really fucking chill me to the bone, that actually succeed in creeping me out - are always the ones that focus on being alone. space is so isolating, its so completely different from earth, like out there you are the loneliest you will ever be. you can be lonely in your bedroom but ultimately you’re on a planet with 7 billion other people, but in space, there is no one around for millions, billions, trillions of miles, hundreds and thousands of light years. you cannot get to safety. you are stuck in your situation whether you like it or not and nobody will come to help you. nobody will even know.

if your situation takes the wrong turn, then you will well and truly die alone in a way that nobody else has ever experienced before. its such a chilling concept and its completely realistic too, like i will always come back to the first moon landing when discussing this. nobody knew whether they could get the astronauts back to earth. they went down to the surface with no certainty that this place wouldnt be their deathbeds. they were the first 2 people to ever step foot on the moon, to ever step foot on a surface that wasn’t earth. if they couldnt get back up, then they would also be the first 2 people to die there, to die on a place that wasnt earth. it fucks me up so bad. so space horror is also so chilling because its plausible, this is the unknown we’re exploring and everything is new. everything in space is so far apart, its so lonely, and that fact remains true whether you’re talking about real life space travel or an event in fiction, which makes it feel way more genuine that regular horror. horror that deals with the supernatural loses that realism and it feels fake, like that wont happen to me because monsters and demons just dont exist

so you could take this conflict, one between humans, and put it into space? it becomes even more horrifying

with a horror movie set on earth dealing with a kidnapping, you root for the protagonist, for them to escape, for them to kill their captor if they must, and no matter how helpless the situation may seem you root for them because all they need to do is have access to phone to call 911, or grab that hammer and their problems are over, or kick their captor in the groin and make a break for the street. the helplessness from this story is that freedom is so close, yet so far

a horror movie set in space dealing with a kidnapping? the victim is stuck there no matter what. they can kill their captor. they could send a distress call. they could reach an escape pod and make a break for it. but no matter what, they are still stuck in space. you are so utterly isolated that a distress call could take years upon years upon eons to reach anyone who could possibly answer, and an escape pod would take even longer unless it can go at light speed

so the horror of the situation with space horror is that everything is up to you, and if you fail? its over.

with passengers though, its not that simple. because there its not just “up to you,” it is just utterly futile. jim took aurora out of her pod and no matter what she does will change that. her situation is irreversible

(i havent seen it in a while but i know towards the end there was that emergency pod, but uhm. did she even know about it until jim told her about it? yeah. that adds to the horror of it)

the film however. is written from jim’s perspective. the film deals with this isolation a bit at the beginning which i had actually enjoyed in that kinda sick oh no feeling that space horror like this always gives me. it was interesting to actually see it depicted in a movie! i’ve only read about this kinda situation in a written story in only one book, but im sure theres more out there, but either way it was novel for me

and the temptation of opening aurora’s pod is what adds to it. its either you go fucking insane because you live out the next few decades with no other human contact, you kill yourself, or you open up someone else and suffer with someone else by your side, but thats the BAD route and now you’re a horrible person. its a serious moral question! you go a whole year of being utterly, completely alone with absolutely zero human contact, but you are surrounded by other humans. its fucking painful. i cant even imagine that

i respect that portion of the film! i do! but then he opens up aurora’s pod. and it suddenly becomes a romance movie, and continues to be framed in jim’s perspective. bad move.

if we took out jim’s spiraling descent to opening up aurora’s pod, and started the film with her waking up, frame it as a romance movie, it could be really good. the reveal where she found out he is the reason shes awake, he’s the one who robbed her of life, her potential, her everything she ever knew. he’s stranded her in the middle of nowhere for the sole reason of keeping him company

the sheer impact of this revelation is lost because the movie is in jim’s perspective. we already sympathize with him due to the beginning. he was introduced first, and his suffering was obvious, so we look at aurora and its almost like we should think well thats all well and good but poor jim! but jim had the comfort that at least him waking up was just a random event. aurora was woken up because he was awake. if he was still asleep, then so would she, and she would still have her life and future. and even if someone was still randomly woken up, if it wasnt jim of all people, then she would most likely still be awake too. its all the horrible circumstances intersecting and she got caught in the crossfires due to him succumbing to his situation.

now i’m not saying that jim is evil. no one has ever been in this situation before. i really don’t know what the fuck i’d do and i don’t think anybody knows what they would do either until they were in his shoes. it’s all morally ambiguous and it’s just shitty all around - but ultimately, it was a horrible horrible decision that ruined another person’s life. he was directly responsible for her losing everything. and the fact that he hides this from her? is even fucking worse. it’s understandable, but my god is it BAD

and in making this a romance movie. the horror of aurora’s situation is just lost! because our goal is to see them kiss and fall in love by the end of the movie, so the audience isn’t meant to look to harshly at jim. he suffers no real consequences for his actions. and ultimately it is a romance, because jim ~sacrifices himself~ and aurora realizes that hey we’re gonna be here for the rest of our fucking lives, i might as well enjoy it. which is a shit attitude to have in a relationship of any kind by the way!

but by framing this as a horror movie, aurora could be wayy more sympathetic to the audience. the romantic angle when she first wakes up would feel insidious, and we would feel the betrayal when it’s revealed that jim is the reason she woke up. jim would be the villain obviously, and the moral ambiguity of his decision to wake her up would make him a relatable villain, but it would still hold him accountable for what he’s done. i just think the end product would be a lot more poignant than it was as a romance movie

and now to wrap it up, here’s my ideas on how to do it: film starts with aurora on earth before she’s about to leave, talking to all her friends and talking about how much she wants to go to this other planet, how great of an opportunity it would be. she boards the ship and goes under. and then within a few seconds, she’s waking up. the waking up scene is framed the same way jim’s was, and not from the side from jim’s perspective like it was in the actual movie. we get to see all her confusion and exhaustion from her perspective. once she’s acclimated or whatever, she’s futzing around the ship when jim stumbles upon her, acting all confused and excited to see another person, and its so genuine that nobody, including aurora, is any wiser that he’s the cause of it. then its all the romance shit, and falling in love, its fun, she’s like “oh my god it sucks that we’re stuck like this and we’re gonna die alone” and they comfort each other, yadda yadda, its meant to build trust between them and between the audience and jim. maybe theres a few scenes peppered in that build suspense like, wtf is going on, but ultimately the Jim Trust scenes kinda turn us/her away from that. but then its aurora talking to the robot guy and the robot guy lets it slip that jim was the one to wake her. it zooms into her face, and in the background you can see jim, all dark and blurred, looming over her. she goes to cry in her room or whatever, like she did in the movie, and its like flashes on previous scenes but now all the little hints to it make sense

anyway i dont have many more ideas just that at the end jim tells her about the extra pod and she goes in, and jim... hm.. maybe its vague.. maybe he lives out the rest of his days and he’s the one to leave the plants behind, maybe he died while sacrificing himself, idk. im not a horror writer. something to humanize jim, that this could’ve been anyone making this shitty decision while emotionally compromised, but still makes it clear that he was in the wrong, very in the wrong

the romance in the actual movie felt, like, poisoned because of what he did, and it rubbed me very wrong that they picked it back up all bc he was willing to die at the end to fix the spaceship. if anything, they should’ve only been friends. idk. actually focusing on aurora and her perspective feels like it could’ve taken the film in a much more interesting turn than just “standard het couple gets together in the end despite the girl being hurt by the guy” like every. fucking. movie.

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 12: Two Future Visits???

Also on ao3

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AA: dave!!! AA: youll never guess what just happened!!!

TG: yo ara lay it on me TG: if you say ill never guess then i guess ill never guess but youve piqued my curiosity here and ive absolutely got to know what you want to tell me TG: although presumably youre going to tell me regardless of whether or not i actually guess

AA: you would be correct

TG: ara im dying TG: i need to know this sweet ass thing that just happened TG: i might die if i dont find out soon TG: there i go TG: on my deathbed TG: struggling for breath and doing my goddamn best to make words come out of my mouth TG: and you of all people know exactly how much i talk TG: holy shit that last moment at my death i can barely speak TG: but i manage it just enough to say my last words TG: put a whoopie cushion on dirks seat at my funeral TG: everyones in tears TG: the most perfect last words

AA: alright! ill tell you!!! AA: sollux proposed to me!!!

TG: holy shit!!! TG: thats fantastic!!!! TG: what do people do when someone proposes TG: do we celebrate TG: should we celebrate TG: that certainly seems like something worth celebrating TG: should we have a party TG: just TG: holy fuck TG: when did he propose how did he propose TG: lay all the deets on me

AA: so remember when i told you he had something he was working on that he couldnt show me because it was a surprise for me AA: it turns out that it was a video game AA: it was really cute and sweet and it was a game about finding fossils AA: it was at the very end when the fossils spelled out will you marry me AA: and thats how sollux proposed to me!

TG: thats absolutely adorable oh my god TG: i dont think i can handle this cuteness TG: satisfaction may have brought me back the the cuteness killed me again

AA: dave! AA: you cant die yet!

TG: well i wasnt planning on dying quite yet because i still have shit to do TG: and if i died i would start wandering the world as a ghost because i had unfinished business TG: youll have to burn my body TG: or put it in a museum TG: that would be kick ass TG: thats where i want my bones to be when i die TG: ill make a museum and then all the little kids will be able to see the creators bones scattered about in a glass case TG: it will even have my shades on my skull TG: and the kids will go TG: woah thats one sick ass skull what a cool dude

AA: the coolest AA: but i wanted to tell you that im coming into town for the wedding! AA: im going to take some time off of work so that i can have a proper wedding with all my friends and stuff

TG: !!!! TG: holy shit!!!!! TG: what are we going to die i have no idea TG: i just i havent seen you in person in so fucking long TG: oh my god TG: aradia im so excited holy shit!!!!

AA: im also very excited!!! AA: however the wedding is going to take a while to plan and i will still be working during that time so im not coming for a few months AA: i just wanted to tell you that i will be there eventually

TG: i honestly cant wait

AA: i cant wait either AA: i do have to go now AA: afterall my work is never done AA: i will troll you when i have some free time <>

TG: sounds great <>

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You wonder who you gush to first about the news.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose rose rose rose rose rose TG: guess what

TT: Did you perhaps learn how to use punctuation?

TG: no and your girlfriend didnt either

TT: That’s cold, Dave. That’s really cold. TT: But, please, do tell this secret that you have been withholding from me for so long.

TG: aras gettin married to sollux!!!! TG: isnt that fucking some fucking fantastic shit TG: like holy shit my moirail is getting married

TT: Your moirail?

TG: its a recent development TG: anyway shes getting married and shes coming to town in a few months and rose TG: rose TG: im so fucking excited rose like holy shit TG: i havent seen ara in ages and now shes getting married TG: im just so fucking happy for her

TT: I’m happy for her as well. TT: Please, tell her congratulations for me. TT: Who’s she getting married to?

TG: shes getting married to her boyfriend of like five years i think TG: i know theyve been dating for a while but i dont really know exactly how long who knows TG: but his name is sollux and i dont really know much about him outside what aras told me but he seems like a pretty cool dude TG: and i trust her judgement anyways

TT: Be sure to give her my congratulations.

TG: ill be sure to do that TG: now if youll excuse me im gonna tell literally everyone about this

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade youll never guess

GG: im going to take a wild guess and say that someones getting married!

TG: holy shit i guess you did guess TG: never mind then

GG: no! GG: dont go! GG: i dont know the details yet!

TG: well if you insist TG: shes getting married to sollux who ive never actually met but he seems like a pretty cool dude from what ive heard from him TG: and shes coming to town in the next few months after planning the wedding and finishing up the job she has right now TG: and so well get to see her!!!! TG: jade ill get to see aradia!!! TG: holy shit you might actually become friends!!!

GG: !!!! GG: i cant wait!!!!!!

TG: anyway ive got to relay the news to john now TG: hes the last to know

GG: i wont spoil the surprise for him GG: but if you wait to too long rose might!

TG: oh shit youre absolutely right TG: i gots to go TG: be sure to tell me about those cars youre working on later k cause they seem cool as shit

GG: will do!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: john TG: hey there johnny boy

EB: i’ll listen to whatever you have to say, dave, but you have to promise to never call me “johnny boy” ever again.

TG: alright alright i promise TG: but i also promise that what im going to tell you is going to blow your fucking mind

EB: try me.

TG: aras getting married!!!

EB: what! EB: holy shit, dude! EB: god, i haven’t even talked to her in such a long time. EB: and now i’m hearing that she’s getting married? EB: just, wow.

TG: yeah i know right TG: shits groovy

EB: did you really just use the word “groovy” in a completely unironic context, dave?

TG: yes TG: ive moved passed liking things ironically egbert TG: you got to enjoy things as they come and let no one shame you for liking them

EB: that’s some solid advice, my dude

TG: anytime

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Welp, you’ve messaged your main best friends about the wedding, and you’ve mostly got the excitement out of your system, at least until Aradia gives you more details about the planning of her wedding, and you're also going to assume that Aradia is going to message her other friends about the wedding.

Might as well do some work, and, by that, you mean it’s time to review some stuff that you may or may not have been procrastinating reviewing. But it’s time to take action! Make yourself a better person and stuff like that. One destruction of the thing you’re supposed to be doing at a time.

“Now, everyone wants to know how well these nail polishes work, and I am clearly the person to go to if you want to know about nail polishes because I paint my nails all the time, which you would see if you’ve watched my other videos.”

You make a mental note to put photos of your clearly not painted nails over the screen during the editing process.

You first start out doing what you always do in your videos, which is describe the object you’re reviewing in great detail.

“Okay, so this nail polish is kind of liquidy, like all nail polishes I’ve seen are, and this one that I’m holding is a blue one. Like, a blue that’s one of the prettiest blues you’ve ever seen, like the feeling when it’s slightly rainy outside, and you’ve got all your work done, so you’re just sitting there, listening to the soft rain, holding your favorite warm beverage and a feeling of calm washes over you, and everything is okay. You know. Like that.”

You turn the nail polish bottle around to see what else you could describe.

“There also seems to be bits of glitter hanging around in there. They look silvery like the sound of rain. Or the sound of a coin clanking against the ground. Mmmm, no, that would be a gold color, so let’s stick with the sound of rain.”

You then describe the bottle the nail polish is in, including what the font looks like and the color of the lid (white).

“I do have these other colors that came in the set, so I have a total of five. One for each finger. All of them have the same silver glitter as the blue one so that you know that they are from the same set or brand or whatever.

“The other colors are green, red, pink, and orange. Honestly, they could have gone for the complete rainbow, but they didn’t because they’re cowards. Where’s my yellow? My purple? With the colors they gave me, I can’t do the full gay rainbow. How are people supposed to know how bi I am without purple?

“Anyway, let’s get to describing each of these colors. This green- like a grassy meadow. It’s the smell of flowers, but then you sneeze because you’re allergic to pollen.” You pick up the green polish and hold it up so the viewers could see it. Then you put down the green polish to pick up the red one.

“The red is firey, and it’s probably my favorite out of these colors. It looks like someone shouting encouraging words at you but in an aggressive way, so you’re not really sure if they’re insulting you or not. Spoilers, they’re insulting you while telling you how much they love you because they can’t let anybody know they’re emotionally vulnerable.”

You then pick up the pink nail polish.

“And the pink- prettiest fucking pink you’ll ever see. Like a song that makes your heart thump and burn from thinking about the one you love, you know? Kind of also makes me think of cookies. Like, sugar cookies, especially the ones shaped like hearts. It’s a very lovey-dovey sort of color.”

And then, at long last, you pick up the orange polish and gazed at it.

“And, finally, we have this orange polish. Now, it looks exactly like an orange smells like. Or like salty orange juice. Why would you put salt in your orange juice? A prank? That’s the only conceivable reason I can think of, but I’m not here to judge people for their eating or drinking habits. But, now that we’ve looked carefully at all these polishes, it’s time to actually get to the painting part.”

You open the orange polish because you were already holding it, and you examine the consistency of the nail polish.

“Yep, that’s nail polish alright. Let’s put that shit on our nails and see what happens.”

You proceed to messily paint your nails. There’s nail polish everywhere. You somehow get nail polish on your face. You have no idea what happened. You look later- there’s nail polish on your foot. You don’t know how it got there.

You do, in fact, manage to paint all your nails, however messy the end result ended up being, so you are proud of yourself for managing to do that much.

After recording the video and making sure you actually recorded all that, you uploaded the footage and decided to edit it later.

After an hour or so of scrolling through mindless memes, you get a message on pesterchum.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: guess who the FUCK is comign to town next week TG: *coming TG: that’s right TG: me TG: ur fav sis

TG: oh shit this is fantastic TG: dont tell rose that youre my favorite sister though TG: i would never hear the end of it

TG: ur secret is safe with me TG: *wonk* TG: anyway TG: i was just here to tell you that. TG: dont be a stranger

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Holy fucking shit. You can’t believe you got news of some of your favorite people coming to visit in the same day. Granted, they weren’t arriving in the same time period, but still.

You can’t believe Roxy is coming next week!! You are so ready to spend time with Roxy. It’s going to be a blast.

[alicedoessurveys]

44 Questions

1. Do you answer texts quickly? im normally quite quick. if I dont answer right away then im either busy or just dont want to talk right now

2. How many is “too many” balloons? one balloon is too many balloons for me.. I have a stupid fear of balloons 3. Call a random person or friend. Tell them wonderful things. What did you or they say? its too late to call anyone 4. Do you like helping the environment? yes

5. What are four things do you do for fun? tumblr, sims, bake, hang out with my friends

6. What is the last video game you’ve played? ps3 lego batman

7. Post a picture of your handwriting. no thanks. it’s messy anyway.

8. What are 5 things you like about yourself? I cant think of anything I like other than my eyes. 

9. Tell us a joke. purely because I literally just heard this joke on the telly... “why did the man chose not to report his stolen credit card? because the thief was spending less than his wife” 10. What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to own a cat hotel 11. What are three things you like doing? sleeping, tidying, these survey things 12. When was the last time you crafted something? I made poppy badges for remembrance day  13. Tell us 3 good things that have happened this week. I started doing volunteer work at a charity shop where the money goes to poorly animals, I spent a lot of time at theatre rehearsals, today I bought a boxset of the kingsman films for £13 14. Name 3 important people in your life. my fam (mom dad sis), rhys & nick 15. Do you enjoy a quiet or loud environment? not too quiet and not too loud, somewhere in the middle 16. Do you think there is a reason behind everything? yes 17. Do you like the beaches or the mountains? beaches 18. How do you spend your time these days? im barley at home lately since joining the theatre and volunteering at the charity shop 19. Where did you go last for vacation? bournemouth 20. When was the last time you wrote a meaningful letter to someone? in august when our first foster baby left us my family all wrote letters for him to keep in his memory box and look back at once he's older. him leaving was probably the hardest part of 2017, and I dont think ive ever cried as hard as I did when I was writing my letter to him  21. What are you doing tomorrow? What did you do today? tomorrow im planning to just do nothing. ive had such a busy couple of weeks I would like to just spend the day on the sofa 22. What is something you don’t have, but want? money. just because its the thing that is worrying me the most right now 23. What song do you listen to when you’re feeling down? dont have one specific song, it depends on the situation and what is making me feel better that time  24. Do you drink tea or coffee? neither 25. How many languages can you speak? one 26. Tell us three fears. balloons, losing the people I care about, being on my deathbed and having regrets about not doing stuff 

27. What was the last board game you played? Harry Potter Cluedo 28. What was the last book you read? Calm by Fearne Cotton 29. Have you ever walked into a glass door? yes. we have big glass doors from the living room to the garden and ive walked into them too many times  30. Do five jumping jacks/star jump. nah im comfy  31. Who’s your biggest celebrity crush? Eddie Redmayne 32. Do you believe in marriage? yes 33. What would you do with 1 million dollars? buy houses for myself, my parents and my sister. give some to my grandad. give some to my church.  34. What is one thing you’d like to change/fix? my lack of talent 35. Post a pic of your lovely face. no thanks

36. Name three of your favourite blogs. I dont really follow any blogs. one I do read belongs to a girl I went to college with thealiceedit 37. Name three Disney movies that you adore. Aladdin, Tangled, Moana  38. When’s your birthday? 11th June  39. What do you aspire to be? happy 40. Do you sponsor a cause? dogs trust 41. Do you play/watch sport? nope 42. Do you play an instrument? ukulele and a little bit piano 43. What’s your favourite colour? im a sucker for anything rose gold 44. What is your favourite animal? dog