Tumgik
#have they only known each other for 4 months? yes
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Skater Boyz🥝⚾️
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Scout took him up to the surface to see Boston and do some things in the States, but Sniper doesn’t quite like how bright it is...
Close ups under the cut
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kings-highway · 4 months
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pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together
daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*
i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???
tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.
I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.
for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that
with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.
okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita
kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.
I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.
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inkspiredwriting · 1 month
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The Diner of Destiny - Part 2
Five Hargreeves x reader
A/N: Okay, some of you wanted a second part. So I thought why not? I've never written a second part to any of my stories, so I'm not so sure if the second part is any good.
Warnings: spoilers for season 4 episode 5-6, angst
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Five wandered through the fractured remains of countless timelines, driven by a singular purpose: to find y/n, the woman he had unwittingly erased from existence. He had become a phantom, slipping between realities like a shadow, his resolve hardening with each failed attempt. Every timeline, every world was a dead end, a cruel reminder of the life he had obliterated with one careless choice. But giving up was never an option. He had to find her.
Weeks blurred into months as he tirelessly pursued the faintest hints of her existence. Fragmented memories, distorted whispers, and fleeting visions of a woman whose face he had never truly known. Each clue led him deeper into the labyrinth of time, and each step weighed heavier on his conscience. He was close—he could feel it.
Finally, one day, in a timeline that felt strangely still, as though it had been waiting for his arrival, Five found her.
She was sitting in a small, secluded garden, surrounded by overgrown ivy and vibrant flowers. The sun cast a warm, golden light over the scene, but there was an air of melancholy that clung to the place, as if it remembered the things that had been lost. Y/n was there, her back to him, her head bowed as she absentmindedly traced patterns in the dirt with a stick. She looked almost like a statue—beautiful, but untouchable, frozen in a moment that he had shattered.
Five approached her cautiously, his heart pounding in his chest. His footsteps crunched softly on the gravel path, and y/n looked up, startled. Her eyes met his, and for a brief, agonizing moment, it was as though she recognized him. But then the flicker of familiarity vanished, replaced by confusion.
“Who are you?” she asked, her voice tinged with wariness but not fear. There was a gentleness in her tone that cut Five deeper than any anger could have.
He swallowed hard, his mouth dry, and for the first time in a long time, he hesitated. How could he explain the unimaginable? How could he make her understand what he had done?
“My name is Five,” he began, his voice rough with emotion. “I’m not sure how to say this, but… you were supposed to be someone important to me. To all of us, actually. But I made a mistake, a terrible mistake, and I… I lost you.”
Y/n’s brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of his words. “Lost me? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. We’ve never met before. How could you have lost me?”
Five’s chest tightened with the weight of his guilt. “You’re right. We’ve never met. But we should have. I was supposed to find you, fall in love with you. You were supposed to be my anchor, the person who kept me—and all the other versions of me—grounded across the timelines. But instead, I got involved with someone else, someone named Lila.”
At the mention of Lila’s name, Y/n’s expression softened, but only slightly. “Lila?” she echoed, the name unfamiliar and distant.
Five nodded, his voice trembling. “Yes. I thought I was making the right choice at the time, but it was the wrong one. Choosing Lila… it erased you from our lives. You were supposed to be there, and because of me, you weren’t. I took away your life, your future, and I didn’t even know it until it was too late.”
Y/n stared at him, her eyes searching his face for any sign of deception or malice. But all she saw was a man haunted by his mistakes, a man who had come to her not for forgiveness, but for something even more elusive.
“What do you want from me?” she asked quietly, her voice laced with a sorrow she didn’t fully understand.
Five closed his eyes for a moment, gathering the strength to continue. “I don’t know if I can make things right, but I had to find you. I had to tell you what happened, even if it doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry for what I took from you, for what I took from all of us. I just… I wanted you to know that you mattered. That you were supposed to matter.”
Y/n looked down at the ground, her hand still clutching the stick. She was silent for a long time, and Five feared that his words had only hurt her more, that there was nothing left to say. But then, she spoke, her voice soft and distant.
“Do you really believe we could have been happy?” she asked, almost to herself.
Five’s heart ached at the question, at the lost possibility of what could have been. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “But I would have liked to find out.”
Y/n nodded, her expression unreadable. “I can’t remember you,” she said softly. “But something in me feels… something. Maybe it’s just the idea of what could have been. Or maybe… maybe there’s something more.”
Five watched her, his breath catching in his throat. This was it—the moment that could change everything. But even as hope flickered within him, he knew the truth. He had come too late. The damage was done, and there was no going back.
“I wish I could change what happened,” he whispered. “But all I can do is tell you the truth. You deserved so much more than what I left you with.”
Y/n looked at him, her eyes filled with a sadness that went beyond words. “Maybe we were never meant to be,” she said quietly. “Maybe… maybe this was always how it was supposed to end.”
Five shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. “No. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. But it’s what I’ve made it. And for that, I’m sorry.”
Y/n stood slowly, the stick falling from her hand as she faced him fully. “I don’t know if I can forgive you,” she said, her voice trembling. “But I appreciate that you tried to make things right. Even if it’s too late.”
Five nodded, the tears finally spilling over as he met her gaze. “I’ll never stop trying to make it right,” he vowed. “Even if I never see you again, I’ll keep looking for a way to fix this.”
Y/n gave him a small, sad smile, the kind of smile that spoke of acceptance and resignation. “Goodbye, Five,” she said softly. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
And with that, she turned and walked away, her figure growing smaller and smaller until she disappeared into the distance. Five stood there, alone in the garden, the weight of his actions pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He had found her, but he had also lost her—again.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the garden in a blanket of twilight, Five knew that this was his burden to bear. He had made a choice, and now he would live with the consequences for the rest of his existence. The woman who was supposed to be his anchor, his salvation, was gone, and he was the one who had pushed her away.
And so, with a heavy heart and a mind full of regrets, Five turned and walked back into the shadows, disappearing from the world that could have been his. The timelines would go on, fractured and unstable, and he would continue his endless search for redemption. But deep down, he knew the truth—some things could never be undone. And some losses were meant to be permanent.
The garden, now empty and silent, bore witness to a moment that had passed, a possibility that had slipped through time’s fingers. And as the stars began to twinkle in the darkening sky, Five’s silhouette faded into the night, carrying with him the memory of what could have been, and the sorrow of what never was.
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gguk-n · 1 month
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Chapter 4- Heartbreak and Understanding
Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen X Online Friend!Reader)
Series Masterlist
Summary- Y/N decides to forgive Max. Max wins his home race. She meets Max's girlfriend who doesn't seem to like her very much. Did I tell you Y/N watched Max win his home race?
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{Reader's POV}
Falling in love with your friend is a bad idea. Falling in love with your internet friend who has a girlfriend was an even worse idea. Falling in love with Max Emilian Verstappen was the worst idea. He's all over my screen after I searched him on every social media ever. I cannot escape him when I'm trying to get over him.
It's been a few months since the either of us have spoken to each other. After I asked for time, Max respected my wishes. After our call, I received a message from him saying that he would always be there for me no matter what and that he would like to clear up the misunderstanding one day. I knew I would talk to him, however I hoped that it would be when I was over him. Doesn't look like that's about to happen any time soon since this man is everywhere and anywhere I look.
Summer break was here, so I was having a girl's night with my friend Riley when I decided to ask for her opinion on this whole debacle. "Sooooo, Riley" I began. "You're about to unload some shit you did aren't you. Who fucked you up?" she interrupted me. "What?" I questioned. "I've known you for 6 years, I know you too well. Tell me who do I have to beat up." she said. I began to laugh. "No one" I said in between laughter. I wiped a tear away from the side of my eye, "I haven't laughed like this in a while." I muttered. "Go on, love" Riley prodded. "Yeah, so I have this internet friend, we've been friends since 2013. He's nice, kind, funny, handsome, blonde, blue eyes" I was talking when she cut me off; "exactly your type" I nodded along. "It's all nice and all. I didn't know what he did for a living. I recently found out that he is famous" I mumbled. She looked at me shocked. "Who?" was all she said. "Max Verstappen, Formula One driver for Redbull Racing" I said. "Damn, I mean he's like cute for a white boy. I think he's cool and shit for driving in fast cars, I appreciate him as an athlete for sure; as my bestie's potential love interest, questionable at best" she replied. "why, I mean I didn't say I was interested in him?" I asked defensively. "Bro, he is literally exactly your type, I've seen the men you date or hook up with, on the other hand, he has a girlfriend" she pointed out. "Ok, I know and you scare me sometimes" I lamented. "so, my real question is, I didn't know he was Max Verstappen. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I was hurt when I found out and stopped talking to him, had a confrontation and then I said I need time before I am ready" I explained. "Understandable" she nodded along. "what do I do?" I asked. "what do you want to do?" she questioned back.
I love Max and I would like to be a part of his life even if it meant only as friends because I cherished the time we've had together. Also, I feel like I didn't let him explain himself the last time we spoke. I want to mend our ways. I would love to have him forever, even if only as a friend. "I want to still have him in my life even if it meant only as friends." I said cautiously. "Then there's your answer." she pointed out. "Talk to him, clear stuff out. If his explanation seems legit then continue to be friends." she suggested. "great idea. Thanks Riley" I said. "Don't mention it. Now can we un-pause the movie." she asked. "yes" I said while un-pausing the movie.
A few days after the heart to heart with Riley I texted Max. I knew he was supposed to be back next weekend for the race and was currently at home. I kind of confirmed that by watching his streams where he did SimRacing. I don't think I'll be telling this to anyone, honestly. He was on stream when my text went through, I saw him check his phone and ask to leave the stream early since he needed to do something; that something being to call me because within seconds my phone was ringing with the familiar name cropping up on the screen. I answered the call, Max staring back at me, a tentative smile played on his lips. He waited for me to start talking.
Y/N- Hi Max. Max- Hi Y/N, how've been? Y/N- Good, you? Max- Yeah, OK. Y/N- I'm sorry for lashing out the last time we spoke. Max- No, no, don't be sorry. I was at fault for hiding such important information from you. Can you ever forgive me? Y/N- Depends... Max- What do I have to do to get you to forgive me? Y/N- Why didn't you tell me? About everything; your girlfriend, your career? Max- I...When we started talking I just enjoyed being a regular teenager, where we talked about school and random stuff. I got to be Max the teenager not Max the youngest Formula One driver. I enjoyed the disconnect I got with you. I got to be myself and forget about racing for a minute. You made me feel like a regular guy. Y/N- I wish you had told me because when I found out about your championships, I felt like I missed out on celebrating such a huge and momentous occasion with you. That hurt. Max- I'm sorry for that. I didn't know how to tell you since it had been so long, I did want to tell you, I really did want to share my happiness with you; I just didn't know how to. You made me feel normal. Y/N- I'm glad I could be of some help. Max- You were of so much help. You calmed me down before many races and reading your messages or hearing your voice was like a comfortable constant. Thank you. Y/N- Fine, I get it some times famous people want to live regular lives, what about your girlfriend. Why didn't you tell me about her? Max- I....am not really sure. We started dating 2 years ago, it just happened. We'd known each other for a while. It just happened. Y/n- Hmmm....doesn't she mind that we talk so much? Max- No, she's chill about it. (He laughed awkwardly) Y/N- I hope we won't have anymore lies between us Max- No not at all. I cherish our friendship too much Y/N- me too. Max- This weekend is my home race. Y/N- I saw Max- You did? Y/N- I might like watching my best friend win... Max- That's great, then you can watch me win in person next week. Y/N- Sweetheart, Maxie, You might be a millionaire; your friend here is broke as fuck. I can't fly out so suddenly. Max- You don't have to worry about anything. I'll get you the tickets and stuff. Just say yes. Y/N- I mean, I would love to meet you in person.... Max- Then, that's final. You're coming to the Dutch GP next week. I'll pick you up at the airport. You should come early and leave a little later. I'll show you around. Max looked and sounded excited. Y/N- Ok (I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement)
As soon as I ended the call, I got plane tickets to the race. He said he would come pick me. I couldn't wait to meet him. I'm sure nothing bad will happen; from meeting my long time friend.
I thought maybe I should show Max some support and buy his merchandise or something; no one told me it was this expensive. I decided against it. The race was on the 27th; I was flying in on the 24th. The flight there was nerve wrecking. I've seen him although not in person. I got a text from Max telling me to go to a certain gate in the parking area where he would be waiting. I found him rather quickly; he had his hand sticking out of the car. I tapped on the window with a big smile plastered on my face. "Hi Maxie!" I greeted. "hey, schat. Get in, I don't wanna get caught." he said pointed at the door. "By who?" I quizzed. "I feel like you forgot what I did for a living and where we were." he chided. I laughed before walking to the opposite side and getting in.
Initially, things felt a little awkward but the atmosphere turned friendly quite quickly. We reached the hotel I would be staying at; Max had planned the entire week of my stay out. I was going to just rest today while Max attended to media stuff and then we would have dinner together tonight. He would take me along to the paddock for all the 3 days. And after the race weekend, he would take me to all his favourite place; my personal tour guide.
I crashed for the day after a shower and having food. I only woke up when Max called me to let him in. It took me a while to realise where I was. I apologised for not being ready to leave when that was the plan initially. Max didn't mind and offered to wait till I got dressed. He told me we were going somewhere fancy so I pulled out my black satin dress I kept for special occasions. This was a special occasion, right, I thought. Max was a lot more patient compared to all my exes who would start getting antsy; he even helped me decide on the jewellery and shoes I should pair with my outfit. Why are all the good men taken, God?
We had authentic dutch food in a fancy restaurant as a three course meal. I loved the Apple tart. I almost moaned as I placed a spoon of it in my mouth; "Max, this is so good" I groaned. Max smiled, "I'm happy you like it." "I love desserts Max, but this is almost up there with my favourites" I said with a mouth full of apple tart. "What are your favourites?" Max asked. "I love tres leches, tiramisu and cheese cakes" I mumbled. After finishing the food, we decided to walk around for a while; it was kind of dark and Max would probably not get recognised was the thought. "Thanks for the food. Maximilian" I said. He just nodded along. "It's an atrocious name Maxie, no offence but Emilian as a middle name; who ever named you, hates you" I said shaking my head. Max laughed it off; "I would've thought you were fucking with me, if you told me that was your middle name" I said patting his back. "I'm sorry" he said. "Don't apologise for your name, you had no control" I said now facing him. "No, I mean I'm sorry for lying and hiding things from you. I never felt good doing that. I wish I had told you sooner. I wish you had found out about it through me." he said regretfully. "It's ok Max, the past is in the past. I hope we'll be more honest in this friendship" I said enveloping him in a hug for the first time. His head found it's way in the crook of my neck, a woody scent wafted into my nose while Max clutched on to my waist. I felt warm tears drip down my shoulder. "Max, are you crying?" I asked, trying to pull away. He tightened the grip on my waist and buried his head deeper, if it was possible, "No" he replied, making my skin on the shoulder vibrate. "It's ok Maxie, let it all out. I'm always there for you." I said patting his back to console him. "I thought I lost you, I thought you'd never speak to me again, I thought you hated me." he muttered softly. "I could never hate you, I might've been angry but I knew I didn't want to lose you either. You are a very important friend to me" I said. "I don't ever want to lose you" he said, finally deciding to look at me with his tear streaked face. I wiped away the tears. "Me neither, now let's go, you have a race tomorrow" I said pulling him along.
The conversation kept me up at night. It was giving me mixed signals. I didn't know what to make of it. He has a girlfriend, granted I haven't met her yet. There was desperation in Max's eyes and his words. They felt heavy and part of me wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with this. Was I thinking too much into it? What was Max's deal?
I got to meet Max's girlfriend the next day. She didn't seem too pleased with me; I mean I don't think anyone could welcome a random women your boyfriend said was his childhood friend suddenly. I didn't hold it against her. I got to meet Max's teammate and the other drivers. All of them were very kind and welcoming. I got to learn a lot about Max while I waited for him to get done with interviews after free practise. I was talking to Lando while he waited his turn after Max. Max returned which made Lando leave. "You didn't tell me you had such cute friends. I would've asked you you set me up with him sooner" I said while we walked back to Redbull. "No" he stated. "You're patronising with the enemy" he continued. "Your enemy, my future boyfriend." I joked. "He's not your type" Max interjected. "And you know what my type is?" I asked. Before he could say anything, his girlfriend whisked him away.
I ended up talking to Checo who was surprised to know me and Max had been friends for so long. Almost everyone in the garage was shocked about our friendship. Checo told me it's because Max had never told them about me. Max and his girlfriend came back who looked visibly annoyed; I tried asking Max what was up but he brushed me off. I spent the rest of the day being dragged around by Max who couldn't stop talking about anything and everything.
I spent Saturday with a lot of the mechanics and engineers who had so much good stuff to talk about. It would probably help me in editing that author. She was almost done with the book; but a few more additions won't hurt. Max qualified pole, he was so excited. He dropped me back at my room when I told him he should rest up before the race when he offered to watch a movie with me. He couldn't care less, he promised to win the race for me even with a little sleep. We ended up watching some movie. His girlfriend's annoyed face was etched in my brain through out the movie, so I decided to ask him about that. "Max, I'm sure your girlfriend minds you spending so much time with me" I suggested. "No, I told her I'm meeting you for the first time. She shouldn't care." he said. "I'm sure she does, she doesn't look very happy to me" I commented. "Don't think about it too much" Max said handing me the can of cold drink. I wasn't very satisfied, but there's only so much I could do.
The race was crazy, it got my heart beating really fast watching all of them zip past at such a high speed. Max did so well, he finished the race in P1 just like how he started it. Everyone rejoiced and headed to where Max was. GP took me with him. Max got out of the car and took his helmet off, his eyes were scanning the area. As soon as our eyes met he strode towards me. His girlfriend was a couple of steps away, before I knew it Max hugged me. "I won, just like I told you I would" he whispered. "Congratulations Max." I said while turning my head towards his girlfriend who looked visibly annoyed and quickly turned on her heels and left. "You shouldn't have done that" I told Max while pulling away. "Done what?" he questioned. "You should've gone to your girlfriend after winning your home race." I said. "She's here for so many of my races, you're not" he stated. I face palmed myself, "Doesn't matter Max, she probably hates me" I said. Max just shrugged his shoulders and went to get weighed.
After all the formality and interviews Max was on the top step of the podium. I was very proud of him and you could see it on my face. I couldn't find his girlfriend anywhere around. Max got down from the podium drenched in champagne trying to hug me while I pushed him away. "No, you'll get me all sticky" I shouted while running away from him.
[ Winning his home race felt special to Max because Y/N was watching. He walked right up to her the moment his eyes landed on her. He couldn't help but wrap himself around her. After the race, they were going out to celebrate his win because Y/N wanted to go out with the other drivers and so he agreed. After reaching his room to quickly shower and leave, he was met with his girlfriend who was sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't look happy and after a bit of back and forth; Max said it. The words that had been floating around in his head for a while now; he didn't know why he didn't say it sooner. He broke up with his girlfriend. He wasn't sad but rather relieved. He walked into the shower while his girlfriend packed everything up to leave]
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xxchumanixx · 5 months
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Thought Contagion
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Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: After a one night stand he ghosted you. When forced to talk, the lines slowly start to blur. Warnings/Tags: hurt, angst, fluff in the end, mentions of a one night stand, reader has the ability to communicate via thoughts and move objects Word count: 4.397 Authors note: I just love him. Do I need to say more? It's 4 am, and I'm dead. So this might make no sense at all, but hey I somehow managed to write this delusional on tiredness.
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Dr. Raynor's office
The clock on the wall ticked steadily, almost matching your heartbeat.
"Did you dream of him again?" she wanted to know, eyes closely watching you.
"No, I haven't dreamt of him in a long time now... but he contacted me." you gave back, fingers interlocked, fumbling with each other.
"Did he call you? Text?"
"No, he contacted me through my thoughts."
"That he can do?"
"When the will is there, yes."
"There has to be a deep connection between you for him to do that."
"No... not anymore."
"So there was a connection."
"Was. It doesn't exist anymore."
"What happened between you two?"
"We slept with each other. And after he left without me noticing, I never heard of him again."
She nodded to herself, carefully considering what you told her.
"Do you have feelings for him?"
"I've had feelings for him for almost ten years now."
You knew it wasn't right, not like this. When you first saw him, it was at the museum, Steve telling you everything about him. How brave he was, courageous and caring. How he looked after Steve, when no one else was left.
You developed feelings for someone who didn't even exist anymore, at least that was what everyone thought.
Who would have known, that he was still alive, breathing and killing.
"Do you know him this long?" she asked, head tilted.
"No. I met him, after Steve brought him back. I was there, when they brought him to Wakanda and I visited him during his rehabilitation. Then, when Thanos blib'd us, he was gone. And after he returned a few months ago, it just happened. I don't know if it was frustration, after Steve left us, or what else it was, but we lost control for a moment."
"Control over what? Your feelings?"
"He doesn't have any feelings for me."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Why do you think he ghosted me?" you chuckled dryly, brows furrowed as you looked at her like she was an alien.
You had to bite your lip not to snarl at her, send biting words her way. She was only trying to help you, had been for a few months now.
But sometimes, she didn't seem to understand you.
"Maybe because he was scared? Didn't know how to handle his feelings?" she suggested, cocking a brow.
"No, James Barnes doesn't have such feelings - only sadness and anger." you told her, the bitter feeling of guilt stinging on your tongue.
"Was it these feelings, that led to him sleeping with you? His anger, his sadness?"
"A moment of weakness, nothing more."
She wrote something into her notebook, before she tapped her pen on the paper. "What did he want?"
"He wanted me to help him."
You flinched, when suddenly a sharp pain tore through your head.
What the hell?
"Y/N?"
You believed you heard a voice, one that sounded painfully familiar.
"Y/N?" There it was again, and you sighed shakily, feelings starting to mix in a dangerous cocktail. "James?" you answered in a thought, eyes closing, as you tried not to betray your feelings with a quiver of your voice.
It must have taken him a lot to contact you through your thoughts.
You were a telepath, able to communicate via thoughts, as well as moving objects through the air. But it took a lot of willpower, to contact you through your thoughts, especially when it was over such a great distance.
And by someone like James Buchanan Barnes.
"Oh thank god." you heard him mumble, as your belly churned.
After you've spent the night together and he left, you hadn't heard from him. Why would he contact you like that of all ways? Why contact you at all?
"What do you want?" you returned coldly, teeth gritted, as you sat up in bed. You were just about to sleep, already tucked under your covers, when he contacted you.
The anger bubbling up in your stomach made it hard for you to concentrate, but the curiosity was the slightest bit stronger.
"I need your help."
Eyes widening, you fumed. Hands clenched into fists, the books in the bookcase started to rattle, trinkets threatening to tumble over.
Oh, the nerve he had - he had to be fucking kidding you.
"You need my help?" you seethed, not able to contain the angry chuckle that escaped your lips. "You have to be kidding me."
It was silent for a few moments and you started to think he might have cut the connection, when you heard him sigh.
"I-" he started, but was cut off by another voice. "What are you doing?" you heard the voice ask - Sam. "Are you praying or something?"
You could basically hear Bucky's eyes roll in their sockets, as he sighed angrily. "No, I'm not." he retorted, scoffing. "I'm-" he cut himself off this time, most likely rubbing the stubble on his chin. "I'm talking to Y/N."
It was silent for another moment, before you heard Sam again. "How? Where's your phone? Or are you communicating through prayers?"
Rolling your eyes, you shook your head.
"Forgot that she can communicate via thought?" Bucky gave back, sounding fed up. "That's possible?" Sam sounded surprised. "Over this distance? What do you want from her anyways? Thought you guys aren't talking."
Cocking a brow you huffed, and you heard Bucky stutter incoherently, eventually finding his words. "No- I-I mean, yes. We need her help if we want to find them!"
"Find whom?" you wanted to know, scrambling for the laptop that was under your bed, flipping it open, despite your better judgement. "What happened anyways?" Sam questioned, his curiosity getting the best of him.
Since when were they teaming up?
"Did you hear about the group 'Flagsmashers'?" Bucky asked, focusing back on you. "Of course, do you think I live under a rock?" you scoffed in return.
He rolled his eyes, you swear he did.
"Well, they plan something big and we can't find them." he explained, ignoring Sam who was still demanding an answer. "We need satellite pictures or video or whatever. Sharon can't hack into them."
"Sharon?" you retorted, huffing. You hadn't seen her since she had to flee, now knowing why. She must have holed up wherever Sam and Bucky where. "What makes you think I have access to satellites wherever you are?"
He hesitated, as you grew impatient.
"And what exactly makes you think I'd help you?"
He must have been very desperate if he contacted you of all people.
"After all I thought we weren't talking?"
He was frustrated, you could tell. You could feel it seeping into your bones.
"They are killing dozens of innocent people!" he explained, anger and frustration filtering through his voice. "Could you please help us? I wouldn't ask if I had another option."
I wouldn't ask you of all people.
"Already on it." you mumbled, as you were already typing on your laptop, telling yourself you were doing this for the innocent people he mentioned, ignoring your aching heart.
The group he was talking about was all over the news lately, gathering more followers each day. They were a threat, and no matter how much you despised talking to Bucky, you knew you had to help them.
Going through the various pictures, you scanned them for the group. "Found 'em." you announced, zooming in on a picture.
"I'll send Sam the location."
Bucky made a noise like he wanted to protest, say something like 'Why not sent it to me?', but he must have remembered that you weren't talking.
"Thank you." you heard him mutter, before he abruptly cut the connection, leaving you wide awake.
Closing your eyes you tried to hold back the tears. It was pointless crying over him, you did for a while now.
It never changed anything for you.
But, as Bucky was forming a plan with Sam, he could hear it clear as day - the single sob that managed to spill, leaving him wondering if he really heard it, or if he just imagined it.
"Did you help him?" Dr. Raynor asked, brows furrowed. She as well had heard about the group of terrorists, and she had talked to Sam and Bucky not long ago.
"I had to." you retorted, huffing.
"Why? Because he asked you to?"
"Because it was the right thing to do."
"Because of this group they are trying to stop?"
"Yes."
She nodded to herself, biting her cheek.
"How do you feel about John Walker being the new Captain America?"
Your eyes snapped to hers, hands stopping their trembling. "Don't call him that."
"Why not? Doesn't he fit your expectations?"
You chuckled dryly, smirking at her. "My expectations?" you wanted to know, leaning forward with a cocked brow. "Steven Grant Rogers was my best friend. He was my anchor, and when he left, living a life in the past with Peggy Carter, he fulfilled his greatest wish. Do I hate him for leaving me behind? Yes, I do. But I support him and his decision nonetheless. He gave the shield to Sam, who gave it away. Who am I to have expectations, when my biggest hope of someone worthy stepping into these massive footprints has been so utterly disappointed?"
Her forehead creased in thought, tapping the pen on the notebook again. The sound was so familiar already, that you had started to ignore it a long time ago.
"John Walker is said to be a good man. Don't you think he will make a good replacement for Captain America?"
"He can be good all he wants, wear the medals he obtained with pride - but he'll never be like us. The Avengers, people that gave everything for others, never once thinking about ourselves. Did we get any medals when we stopped Thanos? When Tony undid the blib, sacrificing himself? No. My best friend - my sister - died, forcing my dad to forever feel guilty for not dying in her place. Can she be replaced? No. Just as Steve can't be replaced. But Sam was the best option to be the next Cap."
"You're dad?"
"Clint. He took me under his wing almost fifteen years ago. He's the dad I never had."
She nodded, scribbling something down again.
"Will you talk to him again?"
Your brows furrowed, remembering the conversation you had with your dad only this morning.
"James."
Sighing, you leaned back against the cushions again, crossing your arms over your chest.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" you repeated her words, anger bubbling up yet again, as your eyes widened in disbelieve. "James Buchanan Barnes ghosted me after we had sex, only contacting me to get my help. After that, he ghosted me again. And you're asking why not?"
She heaved a sigh, glancing at her watch only to see that she had another thirty minutes with you.
It wasn't that she didn't like you, but you reminded her of Bucky in your stubborn and deflective ways.
"Maybe you should." she spoke, tilting her head. "Talk to him, demand answers as to why exactly he ghosted you."
Scoffing, you stood, feeling the sudden urge to leave, get the hell out of there.
"Sit." she demanded sharply, the tapping of her pen coming to a halt.
Groaning, you did.
"Why don't you help them in trying to stop this group of terrorists for starters?" she suggested, leaning forwards on her elbows, that were resting on her thighs. "And maybe you can talk to him afterwards."
You laughed at her suggestion, declaring her insane.
But you couldn't deny the aching in your heart at the prospect.
You yearned for his touch, his scent, his voice. The way his fingertips ghosted over your skin, lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he whispered sweet nothings into it, hips connecting with yours over and over again.
Dr. Raynor smirked, like she was able to read your thoughts. She wasn't, though she still seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.
Cheeks reddening, you cleared your throat, deciding that you were in need of another topic.
"How was your weekend?"
____
You hated this.
Why exactly did she manage to convince you to follow them, again?
You were late, seeing as the whole scene was crowded, the Flagsmashers already captured, their leader dead. She was a young girl, barely old enough to drink legally.
You were standing at the rear of the ambulance, watching Sam and Bucky who were stood at the front, backs turned towards you. They didn't know you were there yet, talking to each other.
Your heart was thundering in your chest, and you were scared Bucky could hear it with his super soldier hearing.
You were contemplating if you should turn around and hurry the fuck out of there, but it was too late, when they turned instead, heading towards you.
They hadn't seen you yet, but when Sam looked up, his steps faltered, causing Bucky to look your way as well. He stopped dead in his tracks, jaw slack, before it clenched.
Sam hesitantly closed the distance, whilst Bucky was glued to the spot.
"Hey." he voiced, glancing back at the frozen super soldier. "I'll leave you to talk."
"What if I don't want to?"
"You should."
He patted you on the shoulder, before he left for someone that called out to him.
Your hands trembled, your whole body trembled, as you both stared at each other. Neither of you knew what to say, neither wanting to be the first to speak.
"Should have expected you to turn up here." he muttered, and you scoffed. "Believe me, I'm not here because I wanted to be." you retorted as equally cold, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket.
He cocked a brow, mimicking the movement, his arm reflecting the light. "Why are you here then?" he wanted to know, fighting the urge to lean against the ambulance.
He didn't want to come over as relaxed, because he definitely wasn't with you standing in front of him.
Not anymore.
He hadn't expected you to show up, he had hoped you wouldn't.
"I wanted to see if you need more help with the Flagsmashers." you explained, looking past him. "You already helped enough with the location." he returned, unwavering.
Nodding, you bit your lip, looking away.
He was shoving you away, again.
"Well, then I suppose I will go." you spoke, swallowing. "Should have expected not to be welcomed."
You didn't mean to say it out loud, really. It just slipped through somehow.
His brows furrowed, eyes narrowing. "Welcomed?" he asked, taking a step closer as his head tilted. "No one invited you. You didn't need to come."
Huffing, you nodded again.
"Well, and no one invited you." you retorted sharply, looking back up at him. "Yet you came as well, before you left without a word."
His jaw clenched, teeth gritted.
"But hey, lets not talk about it, its not worth mentioning anyways."
You wanted to scratch his ego, your own lying broken in a corner. It worked, as he took another step closer, head tilted. Lowering his voice, he spoke exactly what you were expecting him to.
"Didn't sound not 'worth mentioning' it, considering the way you cried my name out for everyone in the building to hear."
You shivered involuntarily, trying not to let him see, though.
He wasn't wrong, but you wouldn't have him know that.
"Really? Maybe I'm just a good actress."
He scoffed, chuckling dryly.
"Just as good as you're at sneaking out."
He fumed at your words, face hardening. His arm whirred quietly, so hard he must have been clenching his hands into fists.
You stared each other down, as your heart silently begged for you to stop. But you were caught in the moment, caught in your anger and hurt.
When neither of you said anything for a good minute, you shook your head and turned around, starting to walk away.
You should have known he wouldn't talk to you.
"Do you think it was easy?" he shouted after you, causing you to halt in your movement.
"Do you think it was easy? After everything that happened, being turned to dust, returning, only for Steve to leave me behind?"
You turned back around, scoffing. "He didn't leave only you." you reminded him, voice harsh. "He left Sam and I as well. He left us all behind, staying in the past to spend his life with Peggy - the only wish he ever had. He was selfish, yes, but he knew we'd manage."
He shook his head, biting his cheek.
"I failed him."
You couldn't help but laugh, frustration growing thicker. "Why do you think so?"
His eyes were glued to the floor, before he looked back up at you.
"I tried, but I didn't manage." he explained, taking a step closer, partly closing the distance you had created. "I spiraled downwards, losing control. I-" he cut himself off, eyes flitting to the sky above you, as he licked his lips, before he looked back at you.
"I lost the little ounce of control I had left when I let you in." he continued, shaking his head, as he bit down on his cheek, the sting momentarily distracting him from his raging heart. "When we- when we spent that night together, I panicked. I hadn't done something like that since the forties, and I didn't want to drag you down into the hole I was falling into."
You had to swallow, eyes stinging, even though you did your best to ignore it.
"And what about me?" you wanted to know, clearing your throat, as your voice quivered. "What about the hole I was falling into?"
His jaw ticked, and he swallowed.
When he didn't answer, you continued.
"You left me behind, in the moment I was the most vulnerable. I needed you, and you left - as well."
He shook his head, hand brushing through his hair. "You don't need me."
"I shouldn't need you." you corrected him, shaking your head with a frown, as you took a step closer. "When Steve first told me about you, showing me your picture at the museum I knew I was done for. Hell, when you stood in front of me, breathing and not dead, like you were believed to be, I thought I was dreaming. I envied Steve, because he made you sound like the best person on earth."
He scoffed, but didn't interrupt you further, eyes downcast.
"I wanted to get to know you, wanted to see if Steve was right." you continued, fighting a smile, losing. "He was, and when we spent more time together, I started to see what he saw. And then you turned into dust. The whole world tilted, for five years. You were gone, Sam, my dad and my whole family suddenly vanished. And when you returned I was so happy - only for you to leave me again. I know it probably didn't mean anything to you, but for me it did."
You breathed in shakily, stopping your own rambling, heart hammering in your chest, threatening to break through.
"You're wrong." he muttered, swallowing, as he locked eyes with you. "It did mean something to me - it meant the whole world to me. You didn't judge me, no matter what I did. You made me forget. You where there the whole time, accompanying me the whole way. But when Steve-" he choked on his breath, shaking his head with tears glistening in his eyes.
"I lost it. And I couldn't risk bringing you in harms way - my way. I didn't want to hurt you."
Sniffing, you bit on your cheek, almost drawing blood.
"But you did." you whispered, tears making your eyes burn, blurring your sight. "You did, when you pushed me away. You where the only constant I had left, and you pushed me away."
He nodded, sniffing as well. "I know, doll." he spoke, biting his lip. "I know."
Even though you felt a weight lift from your shoulders, it didn't feel as relieving as it should have. A tear fell, but you didn't brush it away.
You fell silent, lost in thought.
Somehow, you just confessed your feelings to him, stripped them bare for him to see. Leaving you even more vulnerable.
Your fingers tapped on your thigh in a nervous habit, wishing you could read Bucky's mind. Even though you were able to communicate via thought, you weren't actually able to read other peoples thoughts.
"Will you forgive me?" he suddenly rasped out, eyes staying a second longer on the ground, before they found yours, hope glistening in them. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable, like you never heard him before.
"Please, Y/N."
You swallowed at the nerves bubbling up, slowly starting to nod. "Yes, Bucky." you breathed out, sniffing. "Yes, I forgive you."
How were you supposed to stay angry at him, after what he just told you? After everything that had happened?
He breathed a sigh of relief, nodding to himself, as his eyes closed for a moment.
A tear slipped past his eyelashes, and he bit his lip. You had only seen him cry once, causing you to inhale shakily at the memory.
He wiped at the salty liquid, before his eyes opened again, his feet taking him closer to you, until he was as close as he was the last time you had seen him in person.
You could smell his familiar cologne, feel the heat his body radiated.
His flesh fingers hesitantly moved, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face, softly cupping your cheek. The action made you shiver, goosebumps covering your arms, as you leaned into his warm touch the slightest bit, eyes locked onto his blue ones.
"I'm so sorry, doll." he rasped out, eyes fighting to stay on yours. "I did what I thought was best for you, but I know now, that I was wrong. I'm having nightmares again, but I'm working on it. I'm working on everything, trying to get a bit of the old me back to life - the one Steve had told you all these stories about."
You knew about his nightmares, even though they were different now, thanks to the Dora Milaje who had managed to free him of the Winter Soldier state.
He didn't turn into him anymore, not for the briefest of moments. Something he would forever be grateful for.
"I'm an idiot." he mumbled, eyes leaving yours, his hand leaving your face, falling back at his side with his head downcast. "I never should have left - never should have let this happen. I should have listened to Dr. Raynor."
You cocked a brow at his words, head tilting to somehow meet his gaze. "What do you mean?"
He sighed heavily, swallowing, as his nerves got the best of him. "I mean that I should have talked to you, instead of just leaving you behind." he explained, tongue brushing over his lip, hesitating. "Should have told you how I feel."
You inhaled sharply, hands starting their nervous trembling at your sides again.
"What do you feel?" you managed to breathe out, and his eyes met yours again, the intensity of his gaze stealing your breath.
His lips parted, only for his tongue to wet them again. He searched for the right words, soon giving up and opting for the simpler option instead.
"I love you, Y/N."
Your breathing hitched, heart stumbling, before it doubled its speed.
"You're pure, soft and so lovingly." he continued, hands cupping your face. There the words were. "You never once judged me, not even in my darkest hours. You're the thing that kept me going, made me push through to get rid of the Winter Soldier. I wanted to be better - for you. But I fucked up, so badly. I fell into an old habit, pushing you away so you wouldn't get hurt, but instead I did exactly that: hurting you. And I'm a fucking coward for pushing you away, and not pulling you closer instead, now that I'm actually able to."
Words had left you, only tears managed to spill. He brushed them away with his thumbs, one cold and one warm, yet they were both so soft.
His eyes closed, forehead brushing yours. Your eyes fluttered closed as well, breathing him in.
"Working with Sam on this distracted me enough to forget it for a moment." he spoke quietly, leaving you to wonder how exactly that had happened. "But I was selfish when I contacted you, asking for help. I wanted to hear your voice, even if you would have just shouted at me, telling me to never talk to you again."
You bit your lip, more tears falling.
"I would have never." you told him, eyes squinting, even though they were already closed. "I love you too much."
His body moved abruptly, a sob breaking through his lips. It was one of relief and deep shame.
He nodded, his forehead leaving yours to press kisses to your face. Your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, until he finally met your lips with his own.
You tasted the salty remnants of your combined tears on your lips, but neither of you cared. Hands wrapping around his neck, brushing through his hair, you tugged him closer.
Something wet hit your cheek, but you couldn't tell if it were your tears, or his.
His hands on your cheeks tilted your head back, deepening the kiss. His tongue brushed yours, an action so soft it left you yearning for more.
When his lips left yours, you sighed, eyes slowly opening to meet his blue ones. His lips were kiss swollen, but so were yours.
"He took the shield." Bucky breathed out with shining eyes, fingers dancing through your hair. Nodding, you couldn't help but smile. "I know. Finally."
He chuckled quietly, before his lips connected with yours again.
"Now that this mission is complete, I'm all yours." he promised, forehead meeting yours again. "I won't ever do the mistake of pushing you away again, I promise."
You smiled, feeling the tears return, happy ones this time.
"I'm yours." he repeated, lips meeting your cheek. "I'm yours."
"I know." you returned, eyes fluttering closed.
"And I'm yours."
548 notes · View notes
itstatartdump · 5 months
Text
So like most people on here I had been watching Watcher since they started their channel, and like most others I was surprised/concerned at the announcement that they're starting a streaming service. After checking out the site and looking close at their YouTube, this feels destined to fail.
I'll go through my thoughts.
They don't currently post enough to justify the paywall
Over the past year, they have posted between 4 to 9 videos a month. That is a decent amount for most YouTube channels, but for a streaming service that is way to low. For $5.99 a month, getting only 4 episodes is not a good deal when other services give you more for less.
What makes this problem worse it that...
They only produce one show at a time
Whenever Watcher releases a shows, they only have that show running. During a series of Mystery Files, they only upload Mystery Files. During a series of Too Many Spirits, they only upload Too Many Spirits. Now this isn't the case all the time, when they have smaller productions they usually release a similar size production along with it.
If we go back to the issue of only getting 4 episodes, this means that you can be paying $5.99 a month to access 4 episodes of a show that you don't enjoy.
These two issues would be less detrimental if it wasn't for the fact that...
They backpedalled removing their YouTube back catalogue
Lets be real, not only were they originally going to remove their YouTube content, It was the only way I could see this being worth the price.
Yes, they say that they aren't removing it, but if you read the full article it say's that "The company originally told Variety that Watcher would eventually remove all of its videos from YouTube".
Their original plan WAS to make all their content exclusive to streaming, the problem was that everyone new this was a scummy idea and they gaslit their audience into thinking they weren't doing that. But that now leaves them with a streaming service where all they offer is 4 episodes of a show per month and a back catalogue that is free on a more well known platform.
The big question I have is...
How are they going to make more content
This is something that I feel should be addressed, they are a small production studio who are trying to "creating television-caliber, unscripted series in the digital space" (direct quote from their YouTube Description). They need more content per month to make this service worth while, how are they going to do that?
Will they push out multiple small budget, easy to film, YouTube like content that bring up the overall upload count which may cause them and their employees to crunch and burn out.
Or are they going to produce several higher budget, TV-calibre shows that would each be more expensive than they can afford to make.
Not sure if this was coherent but thanks for reading anyway.
(sidenote)
While I agree that Steven is getting a huge bulk of the anger that should also be applied to Shane and Ryan, I also have to acknowledge that the first announced show after saying they need money being his travel show is not helping.
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pupyuj · 2 months
Text
→ “little things.” || ahn yujin x reader fic.
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— being away from weeks too long from your girlfriend has led you into thinking all the horrible things about yourself that you thought you had shut down long ago, but of course yujin wouldn't let that slide...
word count: 6.3k.
dynamic: soft dom!ahn yujin x sub!reader.
warnings: hurt/comfort (emphasis on hurt...), angst, reader suffers a depressive episode, praises, reassurance, cunnilingus, fingering.
requested?: yes!
a/n: 2/4 requested fics done! we're almost there! i hope the anon that requested this months ago is still lurking around to read this, and i hope they're in a better place now as they told me that this request came to be because of their struggles ;~; anon, please know that you are loved by a lot of people no matter what you may think of yourself ❤️‍🩹 i hope you all will love this fic as much as i loved writing it 💞 definitely hit a little close to home 😆
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your girlfriend loved you more than it was humanly possible to love another person, but you were somehow convinced that she didn’t.
because how could she? she’s ahn yujin—a top-class idol, a beloved entertainer widely known throughout the country and even the damn world! she’s the leader of one of south korea’s best girl groups in history, she’s so famous that her face is plastered all over billboards, ads, articles, posters, screens… ahn yujin was a real treasure. and you? a mere secretary in a moderately famous game company. it was the real workings of fate that made you and yujin meet right outside of your company building where you were crying at the bottom of the stairs that led to the entrance doors after receiving yet another senseless sermon from your boss. yujin just so happened to be walking her precious dog in the area and was kind enough to waste her time comforting a stranger.
though at the time, you hadn’t known it was yujin due to her being disguised as a random passerby. that was until she took off her hat, face mask, and colored hair extensions that you finally realized where you’d seen those cute dimples before—the tv screens. you didn’t make a big fuss out of being face to face with a literal golden celebrity, and yujin appreciated that a lot. so much so that she opted to stay with you on the concrete until she was able to lift your spirits. of course the two of you said your goodbyes, but both of you knew in your hearts that you would meet again someday.
and that proved to be true merely three weeks later; when all six members of ive, as well as their staff members, graced the conference room in a meeting for a collaboration with one of your company’s most popular games. you and yujin stared at each other with soft smiles and loudly-beating hearts—it was the start of a warm friendship, and an even warmer relationship when yujin finally got the guts to ask you out on a date after having been friends and colleagues for a year.
now, in your sixth year as a couple, you should be happier than ever. you’ve created the most euphoric of memories with yujin, shared the loveliest of promise rings, kissed the best of kisses, and you’ve even sworn to each other that when things calm down on yujin’s end then the two of you would settle in together, live in the same house, and eventually, if fate allows it so, get married. it all had been exciting, of course. you knew that yujin was the love of your life and that you would be the luckiest girl in the world to be her wife, but there has always been this tiny little voice in your mucked-up brain that is always telling you things you didn’t want to be true… and yet they might be.
that you might not be enough for yujin.
that you’re nothing but a problem to yujin.
that somebody else was better for yujin.
that you are not at all loved by yujin.
for a while, you blocked this voice out because not only did yujin make sure that you know that she loves you, she made you feel it. whether it was from her kisses, her touch, her thoughtful gifts, the meals she cooked for you, the late night drives she always takes you on every other friday, and even from the way she simply looked at you; you could feel every single drop of the love she held for you, and there was a lot. however, you hadn’t been able to shake the voice off for a while now and it didn’t help that you and yujin hadn’t seen each other for quite some time due to both of you being abnormally busy.
you always hated doubting yujin, but it wasn’t your fault. between the weeks you’ve been apart, the less-than-thirty-minutes calls on yujin’s breaks, and every text where yujin tells you that she can’t spend the night with you, it was easy to believe that she might be pulling away. something you hated even more than doubting your girlfriend is asking yourself the ‘what if?’ questions: “what if i’m bothering her?”, “what if i’m distracting her?”, “what if she’s come to hate me?”, “what if she met someone else?”, and the worst of it all, “what if she’s falling out of love?”
ridiculous and stupid to think about, let alone even entertain the thought. but that damn voice…
that damn voice has led you to barely eating breakfast before you left for work today. it led you to perform your tasks poorly at work, but you were lucky that your new boss (the old one, the asshole, was fired a few years ago for verbally abusing his employees)  was understanding and kind and let it all slide. it led you to skipping lunch completely, making you work for nine hours straight with barely any breaks. it led you to collapsing on your bed after you’d gotten home, sobbing pathetically into your pillow when you realized that yujin hasn’t sent you a single text today at all.
shit, what if the voice was right?
you fell asleep in your bed crying that night, in your work clothes and all. you had a dreamless sleep, but it wasn’t the kind of dreamless that was comforting or funny in a way you could make fun of it for being nothing. it was the kind that weighed heavily in your heart when you woke up and didn’t see your girlfriend snoring right beside you. and not even in your dreams did you get a chance to see her. how cruel.
you could barely get yourself to stand up and make a small breakfast—you knew yujin wouldn’t like it if she caught you skipping your meals. and right after that, you dragged your feet in the bathroom and had the saddest shower of your life. at least you didn’t have to cry all that much in there. it was pure silence from your end, with only the sound of the water running and the faint noises of the television in your room accompanying you while you washed yourself. you couldn’t remember the last time you had taken a shower with your girlfriend, it was always one of your favorite things to do with her but only because you liked the way she would insist on washing your hair and how she would smile so brightly when you agreed.
ah, great. now you miss her even more.
you couldn’t bring yourself to do much after that shower. you bundled yourself up with blankets and stared blankly at the television, waiting until another day without yujin passes. much to your annoyance, time was moving a lot slower than usual. as if the universe wanted to shove it in your face that you’re spending all this time alone. you think your phone buzzed a few times, but you didn’t even have the energy to turn your head and look at it. instead, your mind wanders to the possibility that it was anyone but yujin that was trying to contact you, and that just made your heart waver.
you let yourself wallow in your own sadness in the darkness of your room, crying softly and quietly. maybe if you disappear underneath all of your pillows and blankets then yujin will finally forget about you. would she say “good riddance”? you hated that thought, but you wouldn’t blame yujin if that was how she felt. soon enough, you’ve completely lost your sense of time. your eyes hurt from crying, your head throbbed with so much pain that you wanted to get medicine just to get it to shut up but you couldn’t be bothered to move an inch from where you were, and your entire body aches from having been in the same position for hours.
you begged the earth to swallow you whole, but not before erasing the memory of your existence from everyone’s minds completely just to spare yujin the pain of losing someone she loves. loved.
it was getting hard to keep your eyes open, especially when all you’ve been doing was cry your heart out. despite everything, you were afraid of what your fragile mind would do once you wake up without yujin by your side again. she never even liked it when you got something as small as a papercut. you can’t imagine how she would react if…
god, what were you thinking? how did you get here? is this really going to be your life whenever yujin wasn’t around to help you keep your demons at bay? you are stronger than this. you know that better than anyone. better than what they all give you credit for. get up. you repeated those two words like a prayer in your head until your body cooperated with you—sitting up and leaning your back against the headboard. good job. you took that untouched glass of water from the night table and took one big sip. that’s even better. small steps for others, but very big for you. it was enough for you to decide to not allow your mind to wander and focus on something. you wouldn’t feel any better (it was never that quick), but at least you wouldn’t be thinking about such horrible things.
and when you started getting lost in the cooking show that was playing on the television, it was impossible for you to hear the door to your dingy apartment creak open.
ahn yujin was home. finally. she could drop to her knees and cry right at your adorable ‘welcome’ mat by the door. your scent was all over your apartment and it was enough to immediately relieve the young celebrity of all of her worries and stress. she had been hoping to find you scuttling about in your kitchen since you loved reading your cookbooks there and checking if you had the correct ingredients for a dish or dessert you want to whip up impulsively, and as soon as yujin spotted you, she would’ve jumped into your arms and kiss you until you were sick of her lips on your skin. she missed you so much and all she wanted to do was be with you and celebrate the collection of good news that she has for you… but even before seeing pretty much all the lights in your apartment turned off, yujin knew something was horribly wrong.
yujin had been busy the whole day. from filming for variety shows, brand photoshoots, and magazine interviews, she didn’t have much time to do anything else. she had all the energy for it though but not because she just so happened to love her job, but she also knew that after all of it was over, she could finally go home to the love of all her lives and do everything she has been wanting to do with her without interruptions. as soon as she changed out of her work clothes and got her makeup off, yujin texted you. she told you she missed you, asked you to get ready ahead of time because she was going to pick you up and take you out on a short drive around the city before sitting down for a romantic dinner with a breathtaking view of the sunset in her friend’s fancy restaurant.
but you never replied to her messages. you didn’t even see them. that was the first sign and truthfully, it was all yujin needed to know. yujin knew you wouldn’t be doing much today so surely you would have at least tried to look at her messages even if you were occupied with something. rather than getting pouty about it, yujin was instead really worried. what if you were angry with her because she hasn’t been with you for so long? she couldn’t imagine someone so mature like you would get mad at something she can’t control and you have been apart from each other like this before and there weren’t any problems then! but… maybe that was just what you made it look like so yujin wouldn’t have to lose her head thinking about your well-being.
which would be insane, by the way. yujin believes that she isn’t the smartest person alive, but she should know when the woman closest to her heart is having a hard time. she should… and somehow she managed to not. yujin stands frozen in the cold kitchen, realizing that all this time, you were probably just putting up a strong front for her. and every day she was gone, you were dealing with things she should’ve been helping you with instead of just leaving it all for until she comes back home to you. fuck.
panic rises in yujin when she doesn’t see the lights turned on in the vacant bedroom either. if you weren’t trying to cook or waiting for yujin in the living room while getting some reading done, you would be in that bedroom working. so now yujin knows that you were holed up in your bedroom, and that alone was enough to send her running all the way to the other side of your small apartment, ready to burst through your door… until she gets a hold of herself. she prayed to the gods that you were okay, and that you were unharmed. she could hear the faint, muffled sounds of your favorite cooking show inside but you weren’t laughing.
an eerily silent (y/n) was never a good sign. slowly, yujin turned the knob and opened the door. she finds her heart breaking in two when she sees you curled up in your bed. you were barely even watching the show. between the half empty glass of water in the night table, your dirty work clothes in disarray on the carpeted floor, your adorable and fluffy panda indoor slippers haphazardly shoved underneath your bed, and the fucking pitiful state that you were in, it didn’t take yujin a split second to even know that it was definitely one of those days for you… but so much worse than what she was used to seeing.
“(y/n), honey…?”
yujin doesn’t wait for a response. she sits on the small empty spot beside you as you weakly and slowly turn around to face her. you looked exhausted. your eyes were red, puffy, and half-lidded which yujin assumes were from crying. she hated that she hadn’t been with you throughout all of this, as in at all. when she was gone, she could barely message and call you and even when she got home, she would still be occupied with something work-related or she would be too exhausted to do anything else. she needed to make it up to you. she has to. starting now.
“i’m home,” yujin brushes your hair away from your face. she leans down and gives you a kiss on the forehead, and she stays still for a few seconds to truly savor the moment of being back in your presence after such a long time. she felt safe, she was at peace. away from the cameras, the lights, and the fake smiles. now she has to return the favor. “i’m sorry i took so long…” yujin lays in bed with you, taking your figure into her arms and allowing you to melt into her after weeks too long. yujin fully expected you to cry and break down, and she truly would have just let you while pouring all of her love to you… but you were damn near silent.
there was no way you were angry. if you were, you wouldn’t even hug yujin nor would you let her come near you at all. you nestled your face comfortably on her chest, holding her like you don’t even want her to think of going anywhere else. not even a few minutes since yujin joined you and the two of you were already a mess of tangled limbs in your bed due to how close you held onto her—it was enough proof of just how much you missed her. if it hadn’t been for the fact that the television was on, yujin wouldn’t have been able to see the deep solemn look in your eyes as you looked up at her. the silence weighed heavily in the air; both of you had things to say to each other but there was so much that neither of you knew where to start.
however, now that she was in your arms, you had no problem just going back to hiding your face in the crook of her neck and just appreciating how you didn’t have to go even longer without her. yujin didn’t dare to complain, of course. whatever you thought you needed, she would happily give you and if silently cuddling was just that, then so be it. you stayed like that for a whole half hour, only occasionally raising your head to look at yujin as if not looking at her for too long would make her disappear suddenly. but no, yujin has been away from you for too long that at this point she doesn’t even want to leave your side ever again.
“i thought you’d forget about me.”
you spoke so suddenly and that yujin thought she must’ve imagined it. she feels you clutch her shirt tightly, and what she doesn’t know is that you were fighting back your tears. you wanted to celebrate having your girlfriend back, of course, but your sadness managed to beat your delight for once. this time, you couldn’t stop your fears from showing and as much as you didn’t want yujin to lose her head comforting you, you also just needed her to tell you that it was all going to be okay.
meanwhile, yujin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. she hoped that you wouldn’t take her silence the wrong way; she was only processing your question in her head to make sure that did hear it correctly. forget you?
“that’s impossible. why would i?” she was quite offended by the question, actually. but that was something she’ll make fun of another day.
“i thought that perhaps being around other successful, accomplished people could wake you up and make you see that… that i’m worthless compared to all of them,” you refused to meet yujin’s eyes as you spoke. you knew you would just break into tears and nothing would be solved. “that’s what everybody used to say… remember? during the first few months after our relationship got leaked to the public. a ‘normie’ dating ahn yujin… i was afraid you’d start to think that way too after being gone for so long.” 
that indeed was quite the dark time. yujin fought tooth and nail to tell everyone that you were worthy of her and if anything, she was the lucky one in this relationship because you’re so perfect in her eyes. she got scolded by her management for being unprofessional when she got worked up on live television about it all but it was worth it making those rude entertainers shut up and avoid her gaze for the rest of filming. not one person dared to speak ill about you around yujin ever again after that, not even in online articles and gossip sites! especially after they saw how inexplicably happy she was to be with you. 
yujin thought you could see that, too. she smiled the biggest when she was with you, laughed the loudest, and shined the brightest too. so hearing you say all of this… well, to say that yujin was in disbelief would be an understatement.
“(y/n)... you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. what more could i ask for than meeting and falling in love with the most amazing girl in the world?” yujin hoped that this would be enough to ease your worries enough that you could finally look her in the eye, but instead you let go of her and rolled to your other side—away from her. any other day those words would’ve been enough to make you smile and tease yujin for being such a cornball despite the seriousness of the situation… but today, you cried instead. 
yujin, however, doesn’t miss a beat. she wraps her arms around your waist and kisses your shoulder, “i love you. no matter what you think—i love you.” she spoke every word with conviction. her tone strong enough for you to not only accept her words but absorb it in every fiber of your being. yujin holds you tightly as you cried in her arms, whispering words of affirmation here and there while also peppering your shoulders, neck, and ear with her soft kisses. she wouldn’t even care if this was what the two of you did for the rest of the day, just as long as she gets to see you smile and be yourself again. 
for yujin, that was when you were the most beautiful—being happy and unapologetically you.
neither of you bothered to keep track of how long you were in that position, but you did eventually stop crying. the television kept on playing its shows, the sun had started to set outside your closed blinds, and yujin was finally starting to feel all the work she’d done in the day catch up to her body. she had assumed that you’ve fallen asleep with how quiet and still you’ve gotten… but then you finally faced her again. this time, you were staring right in her eyes. and as if this was the first time you’ve done it, yujin’s heart skips a beat.
“i missed you so much… i couldn’t spend another day without you.” you told her in a weak, raspy voice.
yujin smiles, “me too. i’m so happy i get to be here, finally...” she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. she takes her time to get familiar with your features once again, all while unknowingly leaning closer and closer to you. you close your eyes, waiting for what you have been needing for the longest time, until yujin gets a hold of her senses and finally puts her lips on yours. it might have been the softest kiss you’ve shared with her as yujin was careful with the way her lips moved against yours. but even a kiss as heavenly as this was enough to fill your heart with flowers… so when yujin slowly makes her way on top of you whilst her kisses get hungrier, your stomach was a storm of butterflies.
you started to unbutton her loose casual dress shirt, an act that mildly upset you since yujin looked so handsome in it… but she looked better with it off, and you needed to feel her skin on yours. once you’ve dropped the shirt on the floor beside your bed, your hands glide down yujin’s back with your heart beating erratically at the feeling of her muscles beneath your fingertips. yujin slots a knee in between your legs and thank goodness for that actually—the buzz in your core was not going to go away by itself, after all.
yujin’s lips were now on your neck, eager to leave a mark on every inch of your skin tht was visible while pressing her knee against your clothed pussy. you moaned, your pretty voice making yujin’s ears tingle and raising her excitement enough to slide a hand inside your shirt and cup your bare boob. you started to slowly grind against her knee, sighing blissfully at the feeling. you weren’t a big fan of… playing with yourself to satisfy your needs if yujin just so happened to be gone. her hands always knew you so much better than you did yourself. because not only did she know your heart, but she knew your body too. knew exactly which spots to hit, which part of your skin to suck on to get the most noises out of you, and how you like it all best. 
when you moan again after yujin brushes a finger across your hardened nipple, she raises her head with fear in her irises. “t-this… probably isn’t the right time for this, isn’t it? god… i’m sorry, baby, i-i went overboard… i just wanted to kiss you but… i couldn’t resist touching you too…” yujin says with those adorable puppy eyes. always have to be such a gentlewoman, this one. it was one of your main reasons for falling in love with her as that aspect of her made her so much more charming in your eyes.
as soon as you feel her moving her hand away, you stop her. “this is the perfect time, hon. i missed you… and right now, all i want is your hands on me.” you trap her knee in between your legs and press harder against it, showing yujin just how much you wanted her to touch you.
yujin was still uncertain about it all, however. “a-are you sure? we don’t have to if you’re not feeling we—”
“yujin,” you said sternly. you took her face in your hands and kissed her nose, finally smiling at her. yujin feels her heart making a mess inside her ribcage. “believe me. i’m sure.” after six whole years of dating, you still manage to make it feel like she was falling in love at first sight all over again. you’ve both grown as people since your little meet-cute, of course, but to yujin, you will always be that beautiful girl on the steps of that dingy building with the prettiest pair of eyes yujin has ever seen. and so with your confirmation, yujin was no longer hesitant to grab the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head.
she was touching you in a way that reminded you of your first intimate night together all those years ago. nervous touches, and even more nervous kisses. even the way yujin was adamant to take things as slowly and steadily as possible was the same. you didn’t complain, though. as much as you wanted your girlfriend to get it going already, you also wanted to savor this moment and make the night last. judging by how yujin hasn’t told you any devastating news about her schedule staying busy yet, you figured that the two of you now have all the time in the world to be together… so hell, why not take your time?
yujin places her hands on your hips as she sits up, opting to stare at you and ogle at your perfect body for seconds too long. she was just as desperate to feel you as you were desperate for her to show you how much she missed you, but her disciplined hands kept her from doing anything too rash. it was adorable—how glaringly obvious it was that yujin just wanted to rip your clothes off and take you however she wants to, but being the sweetheart she is, she acts according to your wants and needs. she then went on to unbutton and unzip your jean shorts, but she doesn’t pull it off of you. she slides her hand underneath the waistband of your panties and moans at the feeling of your bare cunt on her fingers.
“mmhn… i missed touching you… you have no idea how many times i wanted to walk out of a set to go home to you, and listen to something so much more pleasant than a director telling me how to do my job,” yujin parts your lips with two of her fingers and uses a third to slowly feel up your slit. you were drenched already. obviously you’ve wanted this for such a long time that no one can blame you for getting wet so easily. “do you know what that is, darling?” yujin asks. she lowers herself to your chest and gives your nipple a scrutinizingly slow lick before catching it in her warm mouth.
you were too focused on the feeling to answer her question. your hand digs through yujin’s hair, gripping it and pushing her head closer while simultaneously grinding your hips faster on her hand. yujin dips two fingers inside of your pussy but stops there, opening her eyes and letting go of your nipple, “your voice. let me hear you.” she finally shoves both fingers inside your cunt, relishing in the way you arched your back and allowed your beautiful voice to invade her ears.
you were tight around her fingers, as always. it was just how yujin liked it. something about how her fingers can’t always move in and out smoothly because your walls loved to just suck her in always made her embarrassingly wet. her next favorite thing was watching you as she fucked you; your pretty face making all sorts of expressions at every thrust and every brush of her thumb against your clit just scratched the right parts in yujin’s brain. she can’t help but want more, and more she will certainly take. yujin feels horrible about not being there enough for you during such a hard time… she should’ve figured that leaving you alone with barely anything to distract you would’ve hurt you the way it did.
“i should’ve called more… i should’ve ignored all the risks of my manager nagging at me and visited you, even just for a short while…” yujin peppers your chest with kisses as her pace increases. you couldn’t even be bothered to say anything to her—not when you were overwhelmed with how good she filled you up with only two fingers. every time her palm slammed against your wrist with how hard she was fucking you now, all the embarrassing whines and moans you tried holding back were free to be heard… but it turns out that yujin loved it all so much so there was nothing to be shy about at all.
so you stopped being self-conscious about it all, allowing all of the sinful noises to come out of your mouth just as yujin liked it. while you were busy getting lost in the pleasure, yujin had lowered herself enough to be kissing your stomach. pure desire radiated from her dark eyes, and you didn’t even notice that she had pulled off both your shorts and panties from your body until you could feel her hot breath fanning against your pussy. she pulls her fingers out, but quickly replaces the void inside you with her tongue. she knew that you were the weakest when she used her mouth on you so she was quick to intertwine your fingers to keep you grounded and focused on all of the feelings she was giving you without being too overwhelmed by it all.
“ahh.. mmn… you must’ve missed this too, huh, baby?” yujin opens her eyes and looks up at you with a grin. you were already making quite the mess on her face, but really, that wasn’t entirely your fault. yujin liked it messy, and if she could, she would make you cum to the point of showering herself in your juices but she wanted to take it easy tonight. for you, of course. between you covering your face with your arm, your chest heaving up and down from you taking deep breaths, and your grip on yujin’s hand getting tighter by the second, it was all enough for yujin to keep doing what she does best.
she ate you out like it was her first and last time, too. humming and moaning in approval while she was either deep inside your walls with her tongue or as she sucked on your sensitive clit. the latter action made your legs shake and grab yujin’s hair, not caring about her seeing all the faces you were going to make the longer she went about using her tongue on the hard bud. she put one hand on your inner thigh and pushed it back, opening your legs up even more for an easier time and actually ending up digging her nails on your skin with how hard you were gripping her scalp. she liked the pain and you were going crazy over the pleasure she gave you; it was a win-win!
every time you whined her name, it only adds to yujin’s ever-growing need to give you the best orgasm you’ve had in a while. or even ever. “god… you’re so fucking pretty. i must’ve… heh.. saved the fucking planet in another life or something… or else it doesn’t make sense how i just so happened to meet a goddess in this lifetime…” yujin smiles at you as she says this, giggling at how you blushed wildly and looked away. yujin believed in her heart that you were the most beautiful girl she would ever meet in her life—you just happened to be too humble to accept the alleged ‘facts’ that your lovely girlfriend believed.
deciding that you probably can’t take anymore teasing, yujin presses her thumb on your clit and pushes her tongue back inside you. she proceeds on rubbing your clit harshly, wincing slightly as you were starting to hurt her with your nails on her scalp. the noises that you released gave yujin nothing short of ecstasy, only encouraging her to be better, go deeper, until you finally, finally let go of yourself on her tongue. delicious. yujin keeps her lips on your pussy as you cum, slurping up your juices as best as she can, yet never having enough to actually get herself to stop.
it was a few minutes after you’ve come down from your high and yujin was giving your exhausted cunt the tiniest of licks that she heard something new. something she hadn’t heard before when the two of you got intimate like this. she missed a few others as the sound of her sucking up your wetness with so much hunger and desperation toppled over literally every other noise, but yujin was sure that she didn’t mistake that noise when she did finally hear it. a soft, tiny sob… coming from you.
you’ve been crying, and yujin had been unaware. “oh, no… i’m so sorry, honey. i-i didn’t think—did i hurt you?” yujin immediately takes you in her arms, remembering that it was the place where you felt safest. she immediately regretted going overboard when she did. how could she forget that you weren’t in the right state of mind to entertain her gimmicks? fuck, she felt beyond heartbroken to be the cause of your tears right now when she was supposed to be the very person that made them go away.
“no… no, i’m okay,” you said in tears. once you looked at yujin whose cute face was all scrunched up with worry, you ended up laughing. yujin was so confused. “i promise. you didn’t hurt me, yujin-ah.” you squeezed her shoulder and giggled even more, making yujin laugh in return but in a more… nervous and uncertain way.
“w-wha… are you sure? why are you crying then?” yujin couldn’t help her smile and hug you, rocking you back and forth out of relief. how could yujin ever hurt you, anyway? you knew in your heart that she wasn’t capable of any of that, ever.
“i don’t know… but i’m alright, i swear.” you reached up and kissed her nose. giggles erupt from the two of you when yujin starts attacking your face with kisses—it was all part of her master plan to hear more of your laugh, of course. one of the biggest things she has been missing throughout the weeks she was away. 
eventually, the two of you merely laid still on your bed in each other’s arms once again, staring blankly at the television. you’ve started to feel sleepy too since you did spend a lot of the day crying, and now yujin was threading your soft locks after she fucked you so good that you ended up crying! no wonder you were drowsy. you found yourself laying on top of your girlfriend’s chest, fighting back sleep by blinking it all away and opting to stare at yujin’s face instead. every time she asked you a question (“do you need water?”, “are you cold?”, “should we take a shower together?”) you replied with a lazy hum and weak shake of your head, neither accepting or denying whatever she offered you.
“you look tired, hon… you can take a nap. when you wake up, i’ll either have cooked you dinner or… um, i’ll have ordered our favorite take-out! how do you feel about japanese food tonight?” yujin asks. you hum again, but refuse to fully close your eyes. you opened them every few seconds, seemingly checking if yujin was still there every time you did. of course, yujin notices your intent and pinches your cheek. “i’ll be right here when you wake up. don’t worry.” yujin plants a sweet kiss on your forehead.
“mm… promise?” you pouted. gosh, you were far too cute for yujin’s weak heart.
“of course. we won’t have to worry about running out of time for a while.” yujin pulls a soft, thick blanket over your body and smiles as you immediately start drifting off. she kisses your forehead again, feeling a sudden surge of pure love washing over her as the feeling of having you sleep in her arms again was… home. yujin’s smile widened when she remembered just what she intended to surprise you with if you had seen her message and went with her to that romantic dinner with the sunset.
it was a surprise that she would have to wait another day to unveil—a surprise that came in the form of a breathtaking diamond ring that would’ve completed the beautiful picture that is your love story.
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novaursa · 2 months
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Chains of the Crown
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- Summary: Gwayne promised to marry you. A promise he couldn't keep.
- Paring: targ!reader/Gwayne Hightower
- Note: reader is referred to as Y/N, is younger sister of Rhaenyra and bonded with Silverwing. This is a continuation of Echoes of a Promise. If you want to read all parts in chronological order, you can find a list of my works on my blog. The list is pinned to the top.
- Rating: Explicit 18+
- Word count: 4 936
- Tag(s): @deniixlovezelda @duck-duck-goose2 @aadu2173 @sachaa-ff
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The room is heavy with the scent of burning logs and the rich, musky aroma of wine. And one can almost feel the warmth of the flames as they crackle and dance in the hearth, casting flickering shadows across the opulent chamber. King Viserys sits slouched in his seat, fingers wrapped around a goblet, his gaze distant and clouded. The grief that settled into his bones since the loss of his beloved wife, Aemma, and their newborn son, Baelon, has yet to lift. It clings to him like a shroud, dulling his once vibrant spirit.
Across from him stands Otto Hightower, a figure of stoic persistence, his expression carefully composed as he watches the king. This is not the first time Otto has approached Viserys with this proposal, but with each rejection, his frustration has grown more difficult to conceal. He knows the King well enough to see through the surface—the grief that clouds Viserys’s mind is also a barrier Otto has yet to penetrate. But today, Otto tells himself, today might be different.
"Your Grace," Otto begins, his voice measured, the tone he has honed over years of courtly service. "It has been nearly a month since we laid Queen Aemma and Prince Baelon to rest. The realm mourns with you, but the duties of the Crown must continue."
Viserys takes a long, slow sip from his goblet, not lifting his gaze to meet the Hand’s. The silence stretches, taut as a bowstring, and Otto presses on.
"The Princess Y/N," Otto says, his voice firm, though he takes care to soften it when mentioning you. "She, too, bears this loss, but she is young, Your Grace. She has her whole life ahead of her. It would be wise to consider her future now, before others do."
Viserys exhales, a deep and weary sigh. "She is still a child, Otto. Her mother’s blood is barely cold in the ground, and you come to me with talk of marriage? I will not hear it."
Otto bows his head slightly, as though accepting the rebuke, but his persistence does not falter. "Your Grace, the Princess will have to marry eventually. It is the duty of all royal blood, especially one so close to the throne. Gwayne is of noble stock, a knight of the realm, and a Hightower—a house known for its loyalty to the Crown. He would make a fitting match."
Finally, Viserys looks up, his eyes narrowing as they meet Otto’s. There is a flicker of something—annoyance, perhaps, or a deeper anger that the King has kept at bay. "Gwayne," he says, the name dripping with distaste, "is a good knight. But you seem to forget, Otto, that Y/N is my daughter. My young daughter. She will not be bartered off like some trinket to further your family’s ambitions."
The words hang heavy in the air, but Otto does not waver. "Your Grace, I seek only what is best for the realm and for the Princess. She is of age where betrothals are often considered, and Gwayne could provide her with protection, stability. A marriage into House Hightower would strengthen—"
Viserys’s hand slams down on the armrest of his chair, the force of it cutting Otto off mid-sentence. The King’s face is flushed, his eyes blazing with barely contained fury. "Enough, Otto! I will not hear of it again!"
For the first time, Otto’s composure falters. His brow furrows as he searches Viserys’s face, looking for some sign of the man who once valued his counsel above all others. "Your Grace," he says, more carefully now, "it is not only about what is best for House Hightower, but for the Crown. The Princess is a dragonrider, yes, but she needs a husband who can stand by her side, who can—"
Viserys cuts him off with a sharp gesture. "No more! There will be no more talk of this. Y/N will marry when I say she is ready, and to whom I see fit. This discussion is over, Otto."
The finality in the King’s tone leaves no room for argument, but the tension in the room is palpable. Otto bows his head again, lower this time, hiding the frustration that threatens to show on his face. "As you wish, Your Grace," he says, though the words taste bitter on his tongue.
Viserys watches as Otto retreats, the Hand’s footsteps echoing softly in the chamber as he leaves. The King takes another deep draught from his goblet, the firelight reflecting in his weary eyes. 
As the door closes behind Otto, Viserys slumps back in his chair, closing his eyes. He can still hear the words echoing in his mind—duty, marriage, protection. But all he can see is your face, so young and innocent, still shadowed with grief for the mother you lost, the brother who never drew breath.
"No more," he whispers to the empty room, as if saying it aloud could make it true. "There will be no more talks of this." 
And as the flames continue to dance, casting their flickering light across the stone walls, the King remains there, a man adrift in a sea of sorrow, holding on to the only thing he has left—his love for his daughters, and his desperate need to protect you from a world that seems intent on taking all that he holds dear.
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The corridors of the Red Keep are cold, despite the summer warmth that clings to the air outside. The stone walls seem to absorb the chill that emanates from Otto Hightower as he makes his way down the winding hallways. His face is a mask of restrained anger, each step he takes resonating with the frustration that has been building inside him for weeks, months even. His hands are clasped behind his back, knuckles white as he fights to maintain his composure.
Gwayne is waiting, as he was instructed to do, in one of the smaller antechambers. The room is sparsely decorated, the only source of light coming from a single window where the sun is beginning to set, casting long shadows across the floor. He paces back and forth, the soles of his boots scuffing against the stone, his anxiety barely contained. The seconds feel like hours as he waits for his father’s return, each one dragging on with the weight of expectation and hope.
When the door finally creaks open and Otto steps inside, Gwayne's pacing comes to an abrupt halt. He turns to face his father, a question already on his lips, but the words die in his throat as he takes in Otto’s expression. The older man’s face is stony, his lips pressed into a thin line, and Gwayne feels a cold knot of dread form in his stomach.
“Father?” Gwayne’s voice is tentative, uncertain. “What happened?”
Otto meets his son’s eyes, and for a moment, there is nothing but silence between them. Then, with a heavy sigh, Otto shakes his head. The gesture is small, almost imperceptible, but it sends Gwayne’s world tilting on its axis. His mouth goes dry, and he feels a strange hollowness in his chest, as though the breath has been knocked out of him.
“The King has refused,” Otto says, his voice tight, betraying the frustration he feels. “He will not entertain the idea of a match between you and the Princess Y/N.”
Gwayne’s expression falters, confusion and disbelief warring on his face. “But why?” he asks, his voice rough with the desperation that he can barely keep at bay. “I was certain… I thought surely he would see the wisdom in such a union. I—”
Otto cuts him off with a sharp gesture, his patience fraying. “Viserys is blinded by grief. He sees only a child in the Princess, and he will not hear reason on the matter. He is determined to keep her close, to protect her from the very world she was born into.”
Gwayne stands there, stunned, as his father’s words sink in. His mind races, trying to make sense of it, to find some way to fight against this reality that he cannot accept. The room feels as though it’s closing in around him, the air growing thin, and he has to force himself to breathe.
“There will be other matches,” Otto continues, his tone softening as he tries to temper the blow. “You are a Hightower, and there will be other opportunities, other noblewomen who would be honored to—”
“No.” The word slips out before Gwayne can stop it, and his father looks at him sharply. Gwayne’s face twists in pain, his heart aching with a deep, agonizing sense of loss that he cannot explain to Otto, cannot share with anyone. He swallows hard, trying to regain control of himself, to bury the emotions that threaten to overwhelm him. But it is no use; the pain is too great, too raw.
“I came to care for her, Father,” Gwayne says quietly, his voice strained, barely above a whisper. “I… I care for her more than I ever thought possible.”
Otto regards his son with a mixture of surprise and something akin to pity. He had known Gwayne to be earnest in his pursuit of the match, but this… this depth of feeling is unexpected. And yet, Otto is no stranger to the game of thrones, to the sacrifices and compromises it demands. He does not allow himself to indulge in sentimentality.
“Feelings can be dangerous in matters such as these,” Otto says, his voice gentler now, though it carries the weight of experience. “I understand your disappointment, but you must learn to control your heart. The Princess is not the only path forward.”
But Gwayne is not listening. His thoughts have already drifted away, back to the nights he spent with you, the whispered promises, the stolen moments. He can still feel the warmth of your skin against his, the way you looked at him with trust and affection, the way you both believed—if only for a moment—that the future was yours to shape.
He promised you. He promised that he would make you his wife, that you would be together. It was not supposed to be like this.
He clenches his fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms as he struggles to keep his composure in front of his father. He cannot tell Otto the truth of what happened between you, of how you gave yourselves to each other, of the love that blossomed between you in secret. He cannot bear to see the disappointment in his father’s eyes, the judgment that would surely follow.
Instead, he nods stiffly, forcing himself to speak, though the words taste like ash in his mouth. “I understand, Father. But…” He hesitates, searching for the right words, for some way to convey the depth of his pain without revealing too much. “But she is different. Y/N… she is unlike anyone else. I thought I could make her happy. I thought I could protect her.”
Otto’s expression softens, just a fraction, as he places a hand on Gwayne’s shoulder. “I know you did, my son,” he says quietly. “But the King’s will is clear. We must respect it. The Princess’s future is not in your hands, and you must accept that.”
Gwayne closes his eyes, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill over. He cannot show weakness, not now. But the ache in his chest is unbearable, the sense of loss overwhelming. How can he accept it when everything inside him screams to fight, to hold on to the one thing that brought him true joy?
But he says nothing, only nods again, his silence speaking volumes. Otto squeezes his shoulder before stepping back, his expression once more composed, though a flicker of concern lingers in his eyes.
“Come,” Otto says, turning toward the door. “There are other matters that require our attention.”
Gwayne follows his father out of the room, his steps heavy, his heart even heavier. As they walk through the corridors, he cannot help but feel as though he is leaving something vital behind, something he may never reclaim.
And as the sun sets over King’s Landing, casting the world in shadows, Gwayne Hightower battles silently with the pain of a rejection that cuts deeper than any sword, knowing that the promises he made to you are now broken, scattered to the winds like so many ashes.
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The moon hangs high in the night sky, its pale light filtering through the narrow windows of your chambers, casting the room in a soft, ethereal glow. The fire in the hearth has burned low, the embers crackling quietly, filling the room with a gentle warmth that is at odds with the cold ache in your heart. You sit on the edge of your bed, your mind heavy with the weight of the day’s events, the tear tracks still fresh on your cheeks.
You had gone to your father earlier, determined to speak with him, to plead your case. But Viserys had refused to listen, his grief a wall that neither words nor love could penetrate. His rejection had left you hollow, the last hope you clung to slipping away like sand through your fingers.
A soft knock at the door pulls you from your thoughts, and you quickly wipe at your cheeks, trying to compose yourself. You know who it is before the door even opens. You can feel him, the pull between you both as strong as ever, a connection that refuses to be severed by mere words or decrees.
The Kingsguard stationed outside your chambers nods to Gwayne as he approaches, recognizing the unspoken permission that exists between the two of you. Without a word, the knight steps aside, allowing Gwayne to enter. The door closes softly behind him, and for a moment, the world outside ceases to exist. It is just the two of you, alone in the stillness of the night.
As soon as he steps into the room, you rise from the bed, your heart leaping at the sight of him, but the pain still lingers. You cross the room quickly, meeting him halfway, and as soon as he’s within reach, you throw your arms around him, holding him tightly, as if letting go would mean losing him forever. Gwayne’s arms wrap around you in return, his embrace warm and comforting, but you can feel the tension in his muscles, the same sorrow that grips you mirrored in him.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispers into your hair, his voice rough with emotion. You can feel the tremor in his breath, the way he clings to you as if you are his anchor in a storm.
You shake your head against his chest, your tears dampening the fabric of his tunic. “It’s not your fault, Gwayne,” you murmur, your voice trembling. “I spoke with him too… He wouldn’t listen. He’s so lost in his grief. He can’t see what’s right in front of him.”
Gwayne pulls back slightly, just enough to look down at you, his blue eyes dark and filled with a sorrow that reflects your own. “If I could do anything… anything at all to change his mind, I would,” he says, his hand coming up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “I would give anything to be with you, Y/N. To make you my wife, as we both wanted.”
Your heart aches at his words, the love you feel for him so deep, so overwhelming, that it’s almost too much to bear. “I know,” you whisper, leaning into his touch, your eyes searching his. “But what we want… it doesn’t matter to him. Not now.”
He leans down, pressing his forehead to yours, his breath mingling with yours in the small space between you. “It matters to me,” he says softly, his voice a vow. “It matters to us.”
Your breath hitches, the weight of his words sinking into you, grounding you. You close the small distance between you, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that is filled with all the love, all the desperation that you both feel. It’s soft at first, tentative, as if testing the waters, but soon it deepens, becoming more intense, more urgent.
As your lips move against his, you pour all your emotions into the kiss—your love, your fear, your sorrow. You kiss him like it’s the last time, like the world outside your chambers no longer exists, and for a moment, it doesn’t. There is only you and Gwayne, your hearts beating as one, the connection between you too strong to be denied.
His hands move to your waist, pulling you closer, and you let out a soft gasp as his lips leave yours to trail along your jaw, down the column of your neck. You tilt your head back, giving him more access, your fingers threading through his hair as you hold him to you.
“Gwayne,” you whisper, his name a plea on your lips, and he responds by capturing your mouth again in a searing kiss, one that leaves you breathless and yearning for more.
As your lips part, you both stare at each other for a moment, your breaths mingling, your hearts racing. Without a word, you begin to undress each other, your fingers trembling slightly as you untie the laces of his tunic, as he loosens the ties of your gown. The fabric falls away, forgotten on the floor, and soon you are both bare before each other, the cool night air brushing against your heated skin.
Gwayne’s eyes darken as he takes in the sight of you, his gaze reverent, filled with a love that makes your heart swell. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his hands skimming over your skin, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.
You reach out, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. “So are you,” you whisper, your voice filled with awe, as if you can’t quite believe that he’s here, that this moment is real.
He leans down, capturing your lips once more as he guides you toward the bed. You move together in a dance that is both familiar and new, your bodies fitting together perfectly as he lowers you onto the soft sheets. The mattress dips under your weight, and Gwayne hovers over you, his gaze locking with yours, the intensity of his emotions mirrored in your own.
As he lowers himself onto you, you feel his warmth, his weight, grounding you in the moment, and when he enters you, it’s with a tenderness that brings tears to your eyes. He moves slowly, savoring every second, every inch, as if committing this moment to memory, as if this is all that matters in the world.
You wrap your arms around his back, holding him close as he begins to move within you, your breaths mingling, your bodies entwined. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you, connected in a way that is deeper than words, deeper than any bond you have ever known.
“I love you,” you whisper against his lips, your voice catching with emotion, and he responds with a kiss that steals your breath, his movements growing more urgent, more passionate.
“I love you too,” he murmurs back, his voice rough with the weight of his feelings. “More than anything. More than life itself.”
The room is filled with the sounds of your lovemaking, soft gasps and murmured words of love as you move together, your bodies seeking solace in one another. Each touch, each kiss, is a promise, a vow that even if the world outside seeks to tear you apart, nothing can break the bond that you share.
Gwayne’s hands move over your body, memorizing the feel of your skin, the curve of your waist, the way you shiver under his touch. He kisses you deeply, his lips worshipping every part of you, as if trying to make up for the time that will be lost, for the future that has been denied.
You match his fervor, your hands clutching at his shoulders, your legs wrapping around his waist as you pull him closer, wanting to feel every part of him, to imprint this moment into your very soul. There is no rush, no hurry to reach the peak of pleasure, only the desire to be with each other, to savor every second of this connection.
When the release finally comes, it’s with a wave of emotion that leaves you both breathless, your bodies trembling in each other’s arms. Gwayne collapses against you, his head buried in the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin as he holds you tightly, as if afraid to let go.
You run your fingers through his hair, your touch soothing, your heart filled with a bittersweet mixture of love and sorrow. You know that this moment cannot last, that the morning will come too soon, and with it, the reality of your separation. But for now, in this quiet, sacred space, you allow yourself to simply be with him, to hold onto this love that you share, even if only for a little while longer.
As the night wears on, you lay together, your bodies still entwined, your hearts beating in time with one another. The world outside is forgotten, and all that remains is the love that binds you, the connection that refuses to be broken.
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The dawn breaks gently over King’s Landing. The air is crisp with the promise of a new day, but the weight in your heart makes it difficult to appreciate the beauty of the morning. You dress carefully, your hands trembling slightly as you fasten the laces of your gown, each movement deliberate, each breath a reminder of the moment you have been dreading.
The courtyard is already bustling with activity by the time you make your way down from your chambers. The clatter of hooves on cobblestone, the low murmur of voices, and the occasional bark of a command from one of the guards fill the air. The preparations for Gwayne’s departure are well underway, but your mind barely registers the sounds around you. Your focus is entirely on the figure standing by the stables, his back turned as he oversees the squire who is readying his horse.
Gwayne is dressed in traveling gear, his tunic a deep shade of green, the Hightower crest embroidered on his cloak. His hair catches the early morning light, and for a moment, you can almost forget that this is a farewell. Almost.
You take a deep breath, steadying yourself before you approach. Each step feels heavier than the last, as if the very earth is conspiring to keep you from reaching him. But you force yourself to move forward, to do what must be done, even as your heart aches with every step.
As you draw nearer, Gwayne turns, sensing your presence before you even speak. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the world stands still. You both pause, your gazes locking, and in that brief moment, the emotions that you have tried so hard to keep in check threaten to overwhelm you. But then you remember where you are, who might be watching, and you force a smile to your lips, though it doesn’t reach your eyes.
“Princess Y/N,” Gwayne greets you formally, inclining his head slightly, though there is a warmth in his voice that belies the stiffness of his words. “You honor me with your presence this morning.”
You curtsy in response, your heart clenching at the formality between you, a sharp contrast to the intimacy you shared just hours ago. “Ser Gwayne,” you reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. “I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye.”
There is a flicker of something in his eyes—sadness, perhaps, or regret—but it is gone almost as quickly as it appears. He nods, his expression carefully composed, though you can see the tension in his jaw, the way his hands clench at his sides as if he is fighting the same battle you are.
“It is kind of you,” he says, his voice measured. “I will carry the memory of your kindness with me on my journey.”
Before you can respond, you hear the rustle of fabric behind you, and you turn to see Alicent approaching. She moves with a quiet grace, her face serene, but there is a sharpness in her eyes as she looks between you and Gwayne. You can tell that she has noticed the tension, the unspoken words that hang in the air, but to her credit, she does not mention it.
“Brother,” Alicent greets Gwayne with a warm smile, stepping forward to embrace him. “I was hoping to catch you before you left.”
Gwayne returns the embrace, a small smile softening his features. “You always find a way, Alicent,” he replies, his voice lighter now, though you can hear the strain beneath it. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Alicent steps back, her eyes lingering on Gwayne’s face before she turns to you, her expression kind but curious. “Princess,” she says, inclining her head slightly. “It’s good to see you this morning.”
You nod, managing a small smile in return. “And you, Lady Alicent,” you reply, your voice polite, though your thoughts are elsewhere, focused on the man who stands beside you.
The squire finishes adjusting the saddle on Gwayne’s horse and steps back, giving a respectful nod to both you and Alicent. Gwayne acknowledges him with a word of thanks before turning his attention back to you.
“I must take my leave soon,” he says quietly, his eyes searching yours as if he is trying to memorize every detail of your face. “The road to Oldtown is long, and I shouldn’t delay.”
The reality of his departure hits you like a blow to the chest, but you force yourself to remain composed, to keep your emotions in check. “Of course,” you say, your voice betraying none of the turmoil inside you. “I wish you a safe journey, Ser Gwayne. May the gods watch over you.”
Gwayne’s lips press into a thin line, and for a moment, you think he might say something more, something that would break the carefully constructed facade you both wear. But then he simply nods, his eyes filled with an unspoken understanding. “Thank you, Princess. Your words mean more to me than you know.”
Alicent watches the exchange silently, her gaze flicking between the two of you with a subtle curiosity. She is perceptive, and you know she senses the deeper emotions that lie beneath the surface, but she says nothing, allowing the moment to pass unchallenged.
Gwayne steps closer, his hand brushing against yours briefly—too brief, but enough to send a jolt through you. The touch is a secret, a promise, and you have to fight the urge to hold onto him, to beg him to stay. But you know you cannot, and so you let him go, your hand falling back to your side as he steps away.
He moves to his horse, swinging up into the saddle with the practiced ease of a seasoned knight. He looks down at you, his expression solemn, and for a moment, you see the man you love, not the knight, not the lord, but the man who shared your bed, your heart. You want to say something, anything, to keep him here, but the words die on your lips.
“Farewell, Your Grace,” he says, the formality returning, though his voice is soft, almost reverent. “I shall pray for your happiness and health.”
You nod, unable to trust your voice, and watch as he turns his horse toward the gates. The clatter of hooves echoes in the courtyard, each step taking him further away from you, until finally, he disappears from sight, leaving you standing there with a hollow ache in your chest.
Alicent steps closer, her hand resting gently on your arm, her eyes filled with a sympathy that cuts through the fog of your emotions. “He will return,” she says softly, her voice kind, though you can hear the undercurrent of something else—curiosity, perhaps, or concern.
You manage a small smile, though it feels brittle, fragile. “I know,” you reply, though the words feel empty. “But things will be different when he does.”
Alicent studies you for a moment, as if trying to decipher the meaning behind your words, but she does not press. Instead, she gives your arm a reassuring squeeze, her smile warm and genuine. “Come, Princess,” she says gently. “Let’s walk together. It’s a beautiful morning.”
You nod, grateful for the distraction, and allow her to lead you away from the courtyard, away from the emptiness that Gwayne’s departure has left behind. As you walk, you force yourself to focus on the present, on the sun rising higher in the sky, on the gentle breeze that carries the scent of blooming flowers. But no matter how hard you try, you cannot shake the feeling that a part of you has been left behind, carried away on the road to Oldtown, along with the man you love.
As you and Alicent walk through the gardens, the sounds of the castle fading into the distance, you find solace in her presence, in the shared silence that speaks louder than words. But deep down, you know that this day will be etched into your memory, a reminder of the love you have lost, and the future that has been denied.
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alisonsfics · 26 days
Text
back in chicago - part 4
pairing: carmy berzatto x reader
summary: after years in germany, you return to chicago and immediately run into your ex-boyfriend. if you thought it’d be easy jumping back into your old life, you were wrong. new people had entered carmy’s life, including a new woman, but you were still everything to him.
word count: 4.8k
part 1 / part 2 / part 3
A/N: welcome to the FINALE babbyyyy…also i may have gotten carried away and the finale is a little on the long side
warnings: unprotected sex, smut, car sex, jealous carmy which deserves its own warning, minors DNI (18+ only)
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After Richie’s birthday party, you avoided Carmy for a few weeks. It was too messy. He had basically told you he loved both you and Claire and didn’t know what to do about it. You didn’t want to get on Claire’s bad side more than you already had.
It was easier to just ignore the problem.
During those weeks, you started to hang out with Sydney more and more. You both had hit it off upon meeting each other. She felt like one of your best friends, despite having only having known each other for a month.
Being friends with Sydney meant sometimes accidentally running into Carmy.
The first time was when you and Sydney decided to try a new lunch spot, which happened to be close to the Bear, so she could walk there after her shift. You accidentally got seated at one of the tables in front of the restaurant on that patio.
Carmy had walked by on his way to work, and of course, had to stop and say hi.
Then, you and Sydney made plans to go to a farmers market. You planned to meet her at the Bear, but didn’t want to run into Carmy.
You hung out in the alleyway beside the restaurant. You looked down at your phone and realized Sydney had texted that she was running a few minutes late.
You waited, mindlessly scrolling through social media. Finally, the back door swung open. You looked up expecting Sydney, but instead saw Carmy with a box of cigarettes in hand.
“Oh…uh, hey,” he said, shocked to see you. You gave him a polite smile, not exactly knowing what to say. What do you say to your ex-boyfriend who knows you’ve been avoiding him. “I’m just waiting for Sydney. We’re going to a market.” You quickly explained.
He nodded, slowly. He was slightly disappointed you weren’t there to see him. He knew he’d screwed things up, but he missed you.
“You know, you can wait inside if you want? You don’t have to wait out in the cold and pretend like we don’t know each other.” He offered. Before you could say anything, Sydney rushed out the door and saved you.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” she said, trying to break up the awkward tension between the two of you.
A few days after that, Carmy had texted you asking if you wanted to get lunch. You couldn’t say yes, but you also couldn’t say no without sounding like an asshole. So, you ignored the message.
One night at your apartment, you FaceTimed Sydney after ruining the dinner you were making. “Syd, this tastes like shit. I don’t know how to fix it.” You complained. Having a chef friend came in handy.
It reminded you of all the times you’d cooked with Carmy.
“It probably just needs more acid to balance it out.” She told you. You nodded and tried to tweak the sauce.
“Oh, by the way, there’s this big dinner next week. Have you heard of the restaurant Ever? They’re closing and having this big final dinner thing. You should come with me. It’ll be fun.” She suggested, bracing for your quick no.
You paused and looked over at Sydney on your screen. She instantly knew the expression on your face meant no way. “Is Carmy gonna be there?” You asked, slowly.
Sydney pursed her lips and looked away from the camera. You glared at her as she refused to tell you. “I will respectfully pass then. I really don’t want to go to a dinner with my ex-boyfriend.” You told her, honestly.
Sydney sighed. “Oh, come on. They’ll be a bunch of people there. You probably won’t even see him.” Sydney said, and you both knew she was lying.
You persistently shook your head. “I really don’t want to see him. There’s too much history, Syd.” You told her. She knew she had slim odds of convincing you, but she was going to try. To do so, she was going to try every possible angle.
“I have this chef friend. His name is Luca, and he’ll be there. I think you’d like him. He’s cute.” She said, smirking at you. You gave her a disappointed look. “I told you no more love drama. I’m not ready to start dating some new guy.” You said.
You tasted your sauce as Sydney rambled on about why you and Luca would hit it off. “You know another plus? It would make a certain someone jealous.” She said, winking at you.
You froze at the reference to Carmy. Over the past few weeks, Sydney had refused to talk about Carmy unless you brought him up, so it was new to hear her mention him. “I’m not gonna take advantage of some guy just to get back at Carmy.” You persisted.
“Luca’s a nice guy. He might even be down to pretend just to help you make Carmy jealous.” Sydney playfully threw the idea out there. You felt a laugh slip through your lips. “That would be hilarious.” You said, treating the suggestion as a joke.
“I can ask him.” Sydney said, dead serious. You looked at her, mentally weighing your options. You almost considered it for a second. “No, Syd. I was just kidding.” You said.
You both hung up, so that you could finish making dinner. You completely forgot about the conversation. Until the next day when you got a text from Sydney.
“Luca says he’ll do it.”
When it came to the night of the Ever dinner, you were extremely anxious.
Anxious to see Carmy. Anxious to possibly see Claire. Anxious for how Carmy would react.
You were currently standing in the lobby as you waited for Sydney to show up. You felt too awkward to go in and have to find Luca on your own. You nervously fidgeted with the necklace you were wearing.
You had picked a dress that made you feel really confident. If you were going to try to make Carmy jealous, you knew you needed to up your game.
You heard footsteps coming down the hallway and looked up to see Sydney. “Hey, there you are. You look so good.” She said, giving you a hug.
You thanked her and returned the compliment. “You seem nervous. You doing okay?” She asked you, noticing the way you were fidgeting. You shrugged. “Kinda stressed, but just trying to power through it,” you said.
“Everything is gonna go fine, I promise.” She assured you. She led you into the dining room. You saw a blonde man raise his hand and wave you both over. As you walked over to the table, you glanced around the room. You saw no sign of Carmy.
He pulled Sydney in for a hug and then turned to you. “Luca. It’s nice to meet you.” He said, sticking his hand out for you to shake. You smiled and introduced yourself.
He quickly pulled your chair out for you, letting you sit down. “So, what’s the whole story with Carmy? I’ve been dying to know. Sydney told me a little bit.” Luca said, sitting and turning to face you.
“We dated for a few years. I moved away for a job, and he broke things off. His new girlfriend is pissed at me, simply for existing. And I don’t think he knows how to be friends with me after all these years.” You summarized.
“That is wild. Did you move to Germany, by chance?” He asked. You and Sydney both perked up when he said Germany. “Yeah, I did. How did you know that?” You asked, curiously.
“I went to culinary school with Carmy, and he always talked about his girlfriend who lived in Germany.” He told you.
“Yeah that was me, but we broke up before I left. So, we were definitely broken up when he told you that.” You said, realizing how hard Carmy must have taken the breakup. Luca slowly nodded. “My best guess based on the way he talked about you is he definitely wasn’t over you.” He told you.
You felt a pit in your stomach as you thought about it. You always figured Carmy moved on quickly because he was the one who broke things off. But, you were starting to realize how much he regretted that.
“I’m going to run to the restroom really quick, but I’ll be right back.” Luca said, standing up and excusing himself.
“Carm’s not bringing Claire tonight, right?” You turned and asked Sydney. She shook your head. “No, I asked him and he said she’s working tonight.” She told you. You breathed a sigh of relief.
Then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carmy walk into the room. “Oh, shit,” you mumbled to yourself. Sydney looked over her shoulder and also saw Carmy.
He walked over towards your table. When you both locked eyes, you could tell he was shocked to see you.
Sydney stood up to give Carmy a quick hug. You also stood up. Carmy’s eyes raked down your body as he saw your dress for the first time.
It took everything in him to fight the urge to tell you how amazing you looked. He gave you a quick side hug. “I didn’t know you’d be here.” He mentioned to you before sitting back down.
He sat on Sydney’s other side. His gaze lingered on you. He saw you in that dress, and he knew he was screwed.
Then, Luca returned to the table.
“Oh, hey man, it’s nice to see you.” Carmy said, recognizing Luca. They both exchanged some pleasantries. Carmy seemed excited to see an old friend. Luca walked behind Carmy and back to his seat next to you.
“I got you a drink.” Luca said, handing you a glass. You smiled up at him and thanked him. Carmy furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t even think you both knew each other.
Luca’s hand softly grazed your back as he sat down beside you. “Do you umm…do you guys know each other?” Carmy asked. He was biting down on his lip.
“Carmy, Luca’s my date.” You said, watching as Carmy clenched his jaw. His grip tightened around his glass. You were almost concerned it would shatter. “Wait do you two know each other?” Luca played dumb, gesturing between you and Carmy.
“Yeah, we dated.” Carmy said, through clenched teeth. Luca slowly nodded his head like he was realizing the awkwardness of the situation.
Sydney covered her mouth as she tried not to laugh. Carmy was never someone who was able to mask his emotions. His jealousy was written all over his face.
“I’m surprised Claire isn’t here.” You said, with a tone colder than you meant to use. Carmy cocked his head to the side. “She uhh…had to work.” He said. He was thankful Claire wasn’t there. If she saw how jealous Carmy was acting, it’d lead to another fight. They’d been having a lot of fights about you.
Some other chef came up to introduce themselves to Carmy. Luca took the opportunity to reach over and grab your hand. Carmy saw the whole thing. Carmy moved his hands under the table, so no one could see how hard he was clenching his fists.
You and Carmy knew each other like the back of your hands, so neither of you missed any little subtle reactions.
Luca leaned over to you. “You were definitely right about this getting under his skin.” He whispered in your ear. You giggled, pretending like he’d just told you something funny.
Carmy rolled his eyes when he thought you weren’t looking. A second later, you saw a text pop up on your phone.
When you saw Carmy’s name, you grabbed your phone and held it in your lap. The text read:
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
You had to stop yourself from laughing. Carmy was beyond easy to read. You quickly texted him back: “I didn’t think I had to. I didn’t even know you guys knew each other.”
Carmy was jealous enough that you had a date, but it was worse because Luca was one of his friends.
You saw Carmy huff as he read your message. Then, he furiously typed back a response.
“Oh, c’mon. You don’t think I know you well enough to know that’s bullshit? You should’ve told me.”
You turned off your phone and set it upside down on the table. One of the other chefs at the table started telling a story, which captured everyone’s attention except yours and Carmy’s.
Carmy kept looking over at the way your fingers were interlaced with Luca’s. He also saw how you both kept giddily smiling at each other.
You glanced over at Carmy after feeling him staring at you. He gestured towards the hallway. “Can we talk?” He mouthed to you. You shook your head and shifted your attention back to who was talking.
Towards the end of the party, Carmy was as frustrated as he could be. He’d watched you and Luca flirting all night. And you were ignoring him.
About half of the guests had left, and everyone was having small side conversations. Sydney had left because she had plans afterwards with her dad.
You and Luca were still chatting. Carmy was across the table as the guy next him continued rambling. Carmy wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation. His eyes were glued to you.
You grabbed ahold of Luca’s arm and then leaned over to whisper in his ear. You suggested a way to really make Carmy jealous. Luca played along.
Luca’s eyes went wide, and he rushed to stand up. He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him out to the lobby. You both did your best to pull eager expressions.
Carmy watched you both as you left. He couldn’t shake the pit in his stomach about where you both were going.
Luca pulled you into the one-person bathroom, leaving the door open just a crack. You both knew it was only a minute before Carmy came chasing after you.
“You’re an evil genius. Carmy is gonna lose his shit.” Luca said, laughing at your plan. You walked over to the sink and jumped up so you were sitting on the counter. You both were in a fit of laughter imagining Carmy’s reaction.
Until you heard quick footsteps in the hallway. Luca stepped towards you, and you pulled him to stand in between your legs. “You good?” He asked you, quietly. You quickly nodded, and you both started the show, knowing Carmy was close by.
Luca quickly kissed you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed him back. You unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. He ran his fingers through your hair, so it looked a little messy.
Just as you predicted, the door yanked open, and Carmy barged in.
“Carmy, what the fuck?” You asked, pulling out of the kiss.
Carmy’s face was bright red, half from anger and half from seeing you kissing his friend. “Hey, mate. C’mon now,” Luca said.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Carmy said, walking right up to Luca. Luca towered over Carmy, but right now Carmy didn’t care. He’d watched Luca put his hands on you, and he was pissed.
“Carm, leave him alone.” You said, jumping off the counter and standing in between the two men. Luca had a slight smirk. Carmy read it as cockiness, but you knew he was trying not to laugh.
“Do you think you can just put your hands all over her?” Carmy asked, looking past you at Luca.
You grabbed Carmy’s wrist. “That’s enough, Carm. Come on,” you said, dragging him out of the bathroom with you. Over Carmy’s shoulder, you saw Luca give you a thumbs up.
You pulled Carmy with you until you both were on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. You walked over next to where Carmy’s car was parked.
“Alright, Carmy, what the hell is up with you?” You asked, crossing your arms.
His eyes went wide. He wanted to be asking you the same thing. “Nothing's up with me. What about you? You never thought to tell me you were going out with my friend?” He snapped.
You rolled your eyes. “Why do I have to tell you anything. Remember, you and I aren’t dating anymore. I don’t owe you any information.” You told him. Carmy ran his fingers through his hair, huffing to himself.
“Because I care about you. Even if we’re not dating, I still consider you a friend.” He told you. You shook your head, taking a step back from him. “I told you that you couldn’t care about me as much as you do. You’re dating Claire.” You reminded him.
“Claire has nothing to do with this. This is about you pushing me away. I haven’t talked to you in weeks, and I miss talking to you. I know I messed up with the kiss, but you said you could forget it.” He said, his voice cracking slightly. You could tell that everything he was saying was true.
This is where the conversation became a lot more real for you. This wasn’t about your fake date anymore.
“Of course I pushed you away. Because I’m fucking scared, Carmy. When you get scared, you run away. I can’t trust that you’ll actually stay. Even just to be friends. If Claire asked you to stay away from me, you would.” You told him. Your chest felt tight as you finally told him how you’d felt for years. After Carmy broke things off, you’d never been able to get closure.
“I wouldn’t leave you like that.” He said, hurt by the implications.
You tried to take a deep breath, but you felt your eyes start to water. “You’ve done it before.” You snapped. He froze when he realized you were talking about Germany.
“Yeah, remember that I wanted to try long distance, but you got scared? So, you broke things off. You were my best friend, and you just called it quits.” You complained, a tear rolling down your cheek.
“I was trying to save us. I knew how wrong long distance could go. I didn’t want us to hate each other when we broke up.” He told you. You quickly wiped your tears off your cheeks. Carmy started pacing.
“It fucking killed me, Carm.” You said, looking over at him. He almost broke seeing the emotion on your face.
“So, that’s what all this was? This was all revenge? Ignoring me and going on a date with my friend. It was just to give me a taste of my own medicine?” He asked you. You shook your head and rolled your eyes.
“Oh my god, Carmy. Not everything is about you. Maybe I was ignoring you because it was hard seeing you with Claire. And then you tried to tell me you still loved me. I don’t deserve to have that dumped on my plate to deal with.” You told him. You were so irritated that Carmy still wasn’t understanding.
“Do you want me to apologize for how much you mean to me? Because I won’t do it.” He told you, crossing his arms.
“I just want you to acknowledge how fucked up it is that you keep trying to flip flop. You either love me or you don’t. But either way, figure it out and don’t drag me through this anymore—” Carmy cut you off with a kiss.
He grabbed your hips and nudged you back against the side of his car. You grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to you. He hesitated for a second.
“Luca’s inside,” he mumbled, stopping you. You shook your head. “We weren’t actually on a date. We did it to make you jealous.” You told him.
You realized that while Luca wasn’t an issue, Claire was.
“Of course you did,” Carmy said with a chuckle. He cupped your face and leaned in to kiss you again. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him away. “We…can’t,” you said, in between kisses.
He buried his face in your neck, pressing kisses to your skin. “Claire,” you mumbled. It was hard for you to not get distracted when Carmy’s lips were on you.
“What about her?” Carmy asked simply. He refocused his attention back on kissing your jawline. “Are you still with her?” You asked him, trying to stop your eyes from fluttering closed.
“Well yes but…” he started to say. You shook your head, moving his face so you could look him in the eyes. “No buts,” you told him firmly.
“I was planning on breaking it off tomorrow after I saw you in this dress tonight. I knew I’d never be able to get you off my mind.” He told you, letting his hands run along the curve of your back. He toyed with the fabric of your dress, caressing your sides.
You leaned into his touch. You always loved the way his hands felt on you. “We shouldn’t, until you tell her.” You said, even though every part of you wanted to kiss him again.
“I’m going to tell her. I promise. I won’t chicken out.” He assured you, noticing your hesitancy.
“We still should wait.” You said. The phrase came out more like a question than a statement. He leaned in closer to you. His nose brushed against yours. “Or we could…” he said, not needing to finish the sentence for you to know what he meant.
You grabbed his collar again and pulled him in to kiss you. He feverishly kissed you back. He quickly reached around his pockets to fish out his car keys.
He unlocked the car door and pulled the back door open for you. You practically jumped into the back seat. Carmy looked around before joining you in the car.
“We’ve waited five years. That feels like enough.” You said, in between kissing him.
“So long— too long,” Carmy corrected himself.
You cupped his face as you kissed him. He playfully nipped at your bottom lip before sneaking his tongue into your mouth. His hands were gripping onto your thighs as your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips tasted like the scotch he’d been drinking.
You were like a drug to Carmy. After not having you for so long, he couldn’t get enough of you. Especially not after hearing you whimper when he pushed his hips against yours.
He sat up quickly to shrug his jacket off his shoulders. You grabbed it and tossed it into the front seat.
You admired him as he straddled you. “You look so pretty staring at up me.” He said, leaning down to peck your lips.
Impatiently, you started unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt while he undid his tie. You ripped his shirt off his arms, letting it fall to the floor. His tie followed behind it.
You were silent as you admired Carmy. You ran your fingers over his chest, admiring his toned chest. “You really…wow,” you mumbled.
He laid you back down on the seat. “You’re getting to admire me, but I’m not getting to see you, gorgeous,” he whispered into your ear. You shivered as you felt his breath on your neck.
He reached down to the bottom of your dress and pulled it over your head. “You look fuckin’ breathtaking,” he said as his lips ghosted down your neck.
He placed a kiss on your lips and then started placing lips down your neck and down your chest. You almost whined as he placed a kiss right between your breasts. He continued leaving sloppy kisses down in a line til he got right above your panties.
He stopped and looked up at you with a smirk. “Such a tease,” you mumbled, pulling his lips back to yours.
“Normally, I’d make you wait a little bit, but I think we’ve both done enough waiting.” He said, slipping his fingers under your bra straps and tugging them off your shoulders.
“C’mere, sweetheart, can’t reach behind ya,” he said, pulling you both up.
He was sitting on the seat with you straddling his lap. You reached behind your back and quickly undid your bra. It fell into Carmy’s lap. You watched his eyes go wide, and you could feel his pants start to tighten below you.
You leaned forward and kissed Carmy’s neck. You started softly sucking on the skin. Carmy leaned his head back against the seat. A low groan escaped his lips.
You reached down to unbuckle his belt. You pulled his pants down to hang around his ankles. You could see how strained his boxers were.
“You’re not gonna leave me, Berzatto?” You asked him. He quickly shook his head. “Never leavin’ you ever again,” he said, reaching out to grab your hips.
You tugged down his boxers enough for his cock to spring out. “You look so fuckin’ sexy.” He groaned, biting down on his lip as he watched you.
He grabbed your hips and held you up as you lined him up. You slowly sunk down on him. You let out a muffled moan as you bit your lip. Carmy sighed and threw his head back.
“Oh my god, Carm,” you mumbled as he stretched you out. He nodded with his eyes tightly closed.
You braced your hands on his shoulders and pulled yourself up and sunk back down onto his length. “Oh…god, you feel— perfect,” Carmy groaned.
He massaged one your breasts in his hand, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. A high-pitched whine escaped your lips. “That feel good, baby?” Carmy asked, growing cockier by the second. He attached his lips to your other breast, softly sucking and biting.
You quickly nodded your head as you continued to your roll your hips against his. “I’m gonna mark you up so good, sweatheart,” Carmy told you as continued sucking on your soft skin.
“Make me yours, Carm,” you begged. You quickened your pace, slamming your hips down into his. The sound of your skin slapping against his filled the car.
Your eyes rolled back as Carmy hit your g-spot. You desperately tried to grab onto something. Your fingers missed the headrest and slid across the foggy window.
Carmy was mumbling profanities under his breath. His hips thrusted up to meet yours. He got too eager, and you hit the back of your head against the roof of the car.
“Ow, fuck,” you muttered as Carmy cupped the back of your head with his hand.
“C’mere,” he said, slipping his arms around your waist. He pulled you against his chest and shifted you both so you were laying down with him on top of you.
“You don’t have to do any of the work. Just let me treat you real nice,” he told you. He roughly grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist.
With the new angle, he reached even deeper inside of you. “Oh, fuck fuck fuck,” you muttered, weaving your fingers through Carmy’s hair.
“That feel good?” He asked you, thrusting quicker into you. You ferociously nodded. “Yeah, you fill me up so good.” You praised him. Your moans only encouraging Carmy to go faster.
“Almost there, sweetheart,” he mumbled. He reached down and starting rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb.
“Fuck, Carmy,” you yelled out. He kissed you to help muffle your moans. You could feel a tightening in your stomach. You were seeing stars.
You both were distracted when you heard something vibrating on the floor. You both quickly glanced over and saw Carmy’s phone with Claire’s name scrolling across the top. “Oh, shit,” you mumbled, “do you need to—” you started to ask before Carmy stopped you by pressing down on your clit for a second.
Your hips bucked up against his. A loud whine fell from your lips. “Don’t be silly, sweetheart. I’m not answering her call when I’m this deep inside you. Tonight’s all about you, not her.” He mumbled against your neck. He pressed sloppy kisses against your throat.
“Y’know, she knew she couldn’t compete with you. She knew you and me were meant for each other.” He told you.
Your nails scratched down Carmy’s back as you got closer to your high. “Please, Carmy— faster,” you begged him. He quickly obliged.
The sound of you both panting filled the car. His thrusts started to falter. “Look at me, baby. Wanna watch you fall apart,” he mumbled into the crook of your neck.
You balled your hands up in his hair, tugging on his curls. “I’m gonna—” you whined. His hips sped up, ramming into yours. “Yeah, me too,” he said in between groans.
You felt him twitch, and you both came together. A long string of profanities came rolling out of your mouth. He leaned back down to kiss you. His thrusts slowed down as he helped you both cool down.
He pulled out of you and flipped you over so he was laying down with you on top of him. He brushed your hair out of your face, which was pretty sweaty now.
“I fuckin’ love you. No running, you’re it for me.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple.
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xkaidaxxxx · 2 months
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I don’t gotta be the one,no.
fem reader x Katsuki Bakugo
Mentions: NSFW! Squirting, dirty talk, overstimulation, virgin, fluff, etc.
“Congrats on being #1. I’ll take my title back next time.” Bakugo said, flicking your forehead. “Well good luck with that loser.” you replied walking away. He watched you leave the building.
You and Bakugo have history. Not a romantic one. He’s been commenting rude things to you since you were both kids when no one was around. You never told anyone because you were a big girl and would be the #1 hero someday. You’re #1 off and on competing with Dynamight.
“ Hey girl, how are you feeling you’re number 1 again!” Mina said, holding your arm as you both walked around town. “ I actually feel amazing. Let’s go out tonight and celebrate!” you said happily. “ Hell yes! We can invite our besties! You should’ve seen the look on Bakugo’s face. Hilarious. He was shocked and upset as fuck. I think he has a thing for you as well. He was checking you out when you walked out of the building. He was looking at you like he wanted to pounce on you.” Mina said. “Mina. No. He’s with Izuku. You’re crazy. Plus he’s my bully and rival. I will not fall for his ass.” you replied. “ He dumped Bakugo 4 months ago since their schedules were not meeting enough to be with each other. Izuku and I talk about romance. I never brought you up so don’t worry.” Mina said walking into your home with you.
“ Denki, you have a girlfriend. I need advice. I can’t believe I’m asking you for advice.” Bakugo said, handing him a beer. As he took the beer from Bakugo they both receive a message from the group chat informing them about the karaoke party you planned to celebrate.
Denki: Can’t wait see you there N/N
“ Anyways, what do you need advice on?” Denki asked, opening his beer and taking a nice amount into his mouth. “ Y/n. I don’t know when the hell I started liking her romantically. How do I confess to her?” He asked, leaning against the counter. “ I owe Kiri and Sero money. They totally called it. Mhm. I suggest to be honest. Don’t let your pride win for the love of god. You’ve known her since childhood. She’s a tough gal. She doesn’t like it when people beat around the bush. Tell her straight up. Don’t be a wimp. If she rejects you then don’t give up.” Denki said with a smile and a thumbs up. Bakugo felt determined and ready to let you know how he truly feels. “Denki you’re actually good at this dating thing. I’ll tell her tonight after the celebration.” Bakugo said. He checked the time. 8pm already! “ Let’s get going extra!” he rushed out the door with Denki thanking the gods for getting a self locking door.
The entire group showed up within 30 minutes. The first one to sing was Sero. He set the party to be wild and everyone loved it. Everyone let loose. Drank but nothing crazy, however, you definitely let loose and alot. When the clock hit 2am everyone was safely in their homes. Mina and Denki being love whispers vanished, leaving you with Katsuki.
“ You have to shower. I left clothes for you in the bathroom. Go on now.” Bakgo ordered. You don’t take orders from that jerk so you decided to be a bit of a naughty issue. “ K-Katss I can’t shower. Not on my own. Heelppss me.” you whined. He gulped holding you up as the warm water ran down your naked body. He turned away as you scrubbed your body and rinsed up. “ Kats do my back? Please?” you said. You were a bit sober so you had your balance back. He scrubbed your back respectfully, avoiding seeing your ass. Once you were done he left the bathroom and you got ready for bed. You sat on the bed looking around the room as he showered. His walls were a light shade of gray and his curtains were black. He has a great bookshelf, the books and other documents placed there made you guess he has his own home office. You admired his decorated room. He then walked out of the bathroom in only sweatpants. You couldn’t help but stare at his body. His muscles flexing and his abs making you feel a bit hot. You thought maybe you should get back at him from all the verbal bullying.
He got into bed laying down. “ Kats, I need you.” you whispered to him as you straddled him. You grinded against him. You gasped feeling his cock against your already wet pussy. He groaned, placing his hands on your hips. “ f-fuck. This isn't a g-good idea y/n.” he replied. You felt his cock harden. “You’re hard, Kats. You’re not being honest.” you replied, taking the shirt he allowed you to borrow off. You wore no bra. He stared at you. He loves the view. “S-Still I barely even know you….I do know you….but - fuck, you’re so beautiful.” he said. You smiled as his face flushed up. “ You can touch me. Please play with me, Katsuki.” you ran your hand through his hair. He bucked his hips upward with a shaky breath leaving his mouth. “F-Fuck no. Wait. We shouldn’t go too fast y/n. Let’s take things slow.” he finally said honestly. “ Oh Kats, you're so cute. We don’t gotta to be in love, no. I don’t gotta be the one, no. I just wanna be one of your girls tonight. Daddy, please take me tonight.” you said kissing him afterwards. You bit his lip.
A kiss is all it took. He quickly took you off him undressing you. You spread your legs revealing your wet pretty cunny. He slapped it which made you gasp in pain and pleasure. “Nasty little girl.” he commented. “ I’m all yours Katsuki Bakugo.” you said. Making you orgasm many times is how he’ll show you he loves you. He wasted no time. Bakugo held your thighs leaving hickeys behind. You knew he was teasing you and so you forced him to go down on your pussy. He came just from you gripping hair and tugging on it. He was a bit embarrassed. You couldn’t let go of his hair. Bakugo sucked on your clit, he flicked his tongue on it, slurped all your juices. “ Y-yes j-ust- Ahh! Kats!” you exclaimed from the intense pleasure. He hummed lost in thought. His focus was on making you orgasm and making sure you wanted more.
Your body was hot and twitching. He heard you scream his name and finally let go. He then put you on all fours. “Cum inside me daddy.” you said, wiggling your ass asking for it. He spanked you with full force making you yelp out. It was painful but it turned you on. He slowly penetrated you with his tip, making you moan. He continued. You felt so full. “Move Kats. I need it. I want it.” you said whining. “ Oh y/n, you’re so cute but I’m only halfway in.” he whispered in your ear. You knew he hade a fucking smirk on his face. He pulled out and slammed in making you moan and legs weak. Of course he held you up thrusting deep within you. “ K-Katsuki. Oh fuck.” you spoke as your cunny took him all in. He groaned thrusting faster. Your arms gave up, you fell straight onto the bed. He smirked fucking you like there was no tomorrow. You had multiple orgasms in that position. You loved how he didn’t stop after fucking you dumb.
Your head was pressed up against the pillow. You were drooling and moaning. “ You want it baby? You want me to fill you up? Make you my little housewife?” he asked, spanking your ass which made you squirt. You nodded, managing to reply with a “yes please” . He gave one last thrust, deeply releasing his cum. He painted your gummy walls white. He groaned and placed his head on your shoulder trying to calm down. You milked him dry, clenching around him. “ Y-yeah baby milk me dry. I’m all yours baby.” he said. After a few minutes he pulled out and laid next to you. Your mind was lost within the strong pleasure you were feeling. He sat up taking you in his arms. He held you. “Sshh baby it’s okay. I’m here.” he whispered. You were silent and slowly calming down. “ You were such a good princess. I love you very much.” he said. It took you a few minutes to finally come back. “ Was it too much?” he asked, caressing you. “It was perfect. I enjoyed it a lot.” you replied blushing. “ Can I be honest with you?” he asked, making you look at him. You nodded your head. “ You’re my first y/n.” he said. Your eyes widened. “ Y-Your my first too. I got brave…it was supposed to pay back from all the bullying.” you replied. You looked at the soaking wet sheets. You spotted stains of blood. Bakugo saw as well and panicked. “Holy shit! I hurt you! I’m fucking sorry. I’ll be careful next time I swear!” You giggled. “Kats it’s fine this sometimes happens when girls lose their virginity.” He sighed relieved. “I love you y/n. You’re all mine.”He said kissing you softly. You kissed him back. “I love you too. Kats.”
Bakugo wasn’t experienced but porn taught him a few things. Who would’ve thought he’d last for many rounds. The best thing about it was he was very vocal and gave it his all.
You took him very well. You were finally living your fantasy. Wanting to be fucked senseless by a strong and dominant man with tattoos. The books your read created many fantasies you hope they become reality later on with Bakugo.
After this night everything would be different. You’re all his. You milked him dry and you’ll have his baby or babies. Twins run on your side of the family.
.
.
.
Hope you enjoyed this story
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newobsessionweekly · 5 months
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something old
Main masterlist | The Rookie masterlist
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
Tim Bradford x bestfriend!reader Series: Something old, new, borrowed, blue Fandom: The Rookie Summary: You and Tim have been best friends for years, but your friendship is jeopardised when you caught feelings for him and Tim decided he wants to propose to Lucy.
Angst
A/N: How I LOVE this one. I've been so exited to post it, I really couldn't resist any more. I hope you like it as much as I do. Feel free to give some feedback and if you have any ideas for the next parts, I'm all ears. Thank you so so much for your support, I appreciate every single one of you. Lots of love, bubs! ❤️ Warnings: eating disorder briefly described, getting drunk ? not proofread yet Requested: not really, yes maybe - here Words: 4k
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You buried your head into cases, one after another, working overtime and exhausting yourself on purpose. Keeping your mind occupied with work and the treacherous world outside, you didn't have time to think about your own life. And it was for the best. For the past months you watched the man you've been in love with for years fall for someone you've considered your friend. Of course, neither one of them knew about the feelings evolving inside you with every sight of him, but it doesn't make it less painful. And it still keeps you up at night.
Tim has been your best friend since you can remember. You've been there for each other through thick and thin, always finding solace in each other's arms. He's been your shoulder to cry on, the first person to share your happiness with, and the only one who's got your back. Until now. Sitting at your desk, you checked your watch and sighed. It's almost ten pm and the bullpen is just as quiet as a grave. Your grave, plugged up by your own misery. You didn't catch sign of Tim for weeks, the last thing he said to you was a distant 'morning' thrown in a rush as he left for patrol duty with Lucy. It's funny how you imagined that seeing Tim and Lucy on a daily basis at the station would tear you apart, because right now, not seeing Tim for weeks broke you even more. They kept their distance at work, showing only professionalism as their sparkling glances filled with so much love and joy spoke volumes. Laughter slowly broke the silence, the well known voices echoing through the station. You raised your head a little, to take in the sight as you watched Tim and Lucy bantering. But you noticed something was not right, his smile didn't reach his ears as it used to, eyes don't seem filled with emotion and she didn't seem to notice. You knew Tim like the back of your hand. You could sense something's going on between them, but you lowered your head just in time, before your eyes could meet Tim's. Your intention was not to avoid him, not necessarily, but seeing him so late after his shift ended, surely caught you off guard. Just as his hand on your shoulder did.
You raised your head, startled by the unexpected sensation of warmth as his smile grew on his face, genuine you might say. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." he excused himself softly as his eyes searched yours, going back and forth between you and your desk, "What you doing here so late?"
You blinked, momentarily stunned by the sudden closeness, the warmth of Tim's hand on your shoulder seeping into your bones. For a moment, you forgot how to breathe, lost in the depths of his gaze as his eyes searched yours with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
"Just... catching up on paperwork." you managed to reply, your voice steady despite the chaos swirling in your mind.
Tim's smile faltered for a moment, a flicker of something you couldn't quite decipher passing through his eyes before it was gone, replaced by a mask of sarcasm. "Doing the homework for the whole department, Detective?"
You chuckled softly, the sound feeling forced even to your own ears. "Something like that," you replied, offering him a weak smile in return.
Tim nods, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he pulls up a chair beside your desk, his expression serious. "Can we talk?" he asks, his voice low and hesitant.
Your heart skips a beat at his words, a thousand thoughts racing through your mind as you nod, motioning for him to continue. "Of course, Bradford. What's on your mind?"
He hesitates for a moment, his brow furrowing with uncertainty before he finally meets your eyes. "It's about Lucy," he says softly, his voice tinged with nervousness.
His eyes darting away from yours before finally meeting them once more. "I want to propose to Lucy," Tim admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm scared, scared that I'm not good enough for her, scared that I won't be able to protect her."
Your heart clenched at his words, the pain of your unspoken feelings bubbling to the surface once more. But you pushed it aside, forcing a smile onto your face as you reached out to take his hand in yours. "Tim, you're more than good enough for her," you said softly, your voice filled with conviction. "And as for protecting her, well, I think you've proven time and time again that you'd do anything for her."
Tim's eyes searched yours, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in their depths. "But what if something happens to her because of me?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Your heart feels like it's been wrenched from your chest at his words, a dull ache settling in the pit of your stomach. You've known for a while now how deeply Tim cares for Lucy, how much he loves her. And yet, the thought of him spending the rest of his life with her, fills you with a sense of profound loss.
You shook your head, a sense of determination coursing through your veins. "Tim, you can't live your life in fear of what might happen and you can't blame yourself for the dangers of this job," you say, your voice trembling with emotion. "Lucy knows the risks. She chose to be with you, despite them."
His eyes searched yours, a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty shining in their depths. "Thank you, Y/N," he said softly, his voice barely audible over the din of the bullpen. "I needed to hear that."
You smiled, squeezing his hand gently before releasing it, a bittersweet ache settling in your chest. "Anytime, Tim. You know I'm always here for you."
You smiled, pushing the pain aside, burying it deep beneath the surface where no one could see. Because in the end, all that mattered was Tim's happiness, even if it meant sacrificing your own.
As Tim stands up from the chair, a playful glint dances in his eyes, and he can't resist teasing you. "You know, Detective, it's past your bedtime. Shouldn't you be tucked in by now?"
You roll your eyes with a laugh, shaking your head at his antics. "Oh please, Bradford, like you're one to talk. Last time I checked, we're both adults capable of burning the midnight oil."
Tim chuckles, his laughter filling the room with warmth. "Touché, Y/L/N," he concedes, his smile genuine. "But someone gotta keep you out of trouble."
You roll your eyes, unable to suppress a grin at his antics. "Like I need you to keep me out of trouble. I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much. I'm a grown adult who can stay up past bedtime if she wants to," you tease, flashing him a mischievous grin.
Suddenly, Tim's attitude shifts, a concerned expression playing on his face as he leans forward, his voice soft and earnest.
"Seriously, though, Y/N," he says, his tone gentle. "Don't stay up too late, get some sleep. You're no good to anyone if you're running on empty."
You're taken aback by his sudden change in attitude, the warmth of his concern washing over you like a comforting embrace. Despite the playful banter, you can see the genuine worry in his eyes, a reminder of just how much he cares about you, even if he doesn't always show it.
You smile softly, touched by his concern. "Thanks, Tim," you say sincerely, your voice warm with gratitude. "I'll make sure to hit the hay early tonight. Wouldn't want to dethrone you as the grumpiest cop."
Tim's lips quirk up in a small smile at your teasing, a hint of relief flashing in his eyes. "Hey, watch it." he says softly, his voice gentle. "But take care of yourself, okay? Promise me."
You nod, a sense of warmth settling in your chest at his words. "Promise," you reply, meeting his gaze with a reassuring smile. "And you take care of yourself too, Tim. Don't forget to look after your woman."
With a chuckle, Tim nods, a flicker of gratitude in his eyes as he turns to leave your office. "I won't," he promises softly, his voice carrying a warmth that fills the space between you. "Thanks, Y/N. For everything."
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The station buzzed with activity around you, the usual hustle and bustle of the station fading into background noise as you sat at your desk, lost in a sea of memories and emotions. You've seen the bullpen and the files of criminals more than you've seen your own bed, the caffeine taking place of your breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Since Tim told you about the proposal, it's been radio silence from him, not a word exchanged between the two of you. The weight of his words hangs over you like a dark cloud, casting a shadow over everything you do.
You glance down at your hands, absently tracing your fingers over Tim's dog tag from Afghanistan. He had offered it to you when he safely returned home from the war, a silent acknowledgment of your friendship and the bond you shared. And now, as you hold it in your hands, it feels like a cruel, constant reminder of everything you had lost and everything you could never have.
The tag feels heavy in your palm, a tangible reminder of the weight of your unspoken feelings for Tim. You close your eyes, willing the memories to fade, but they only come rushing back with even more intensity. Memories of late nights spent talking and laughing, of shared secrets and stolen glances, of a friendship that had once meant everything to you.
You've lost weight in the past weeks, the stress and heartache taking their toll on your body. Dark circles ring your eyes, evidence of sleepless nights spent tossing and turning, haunted by memories of Tim and the friendship you fear may be slipping away.
Angela, your only remaining closest friend and confidante, joins you at your desk, her presence a welcome distraction from the storm raging inside your mind. "How you holding up?" she asks softly, her eyes searching your frame with concern. "I, uh, heard about Tim and Lucy."
"Yeah, no, I'm fine," you reply, forcing a smile onto your lips as you clear your throat. "I'm really happy for him."
Angela raises an eyebrow, a knowing glint in her eyes. "Liar," she mocks gently. "You don't look fine."
You sigh, the facade slipping for a moment as you meet Angela's gaze. "It's just... been a rough couple of weeks," you admit, the words heavy on your tongue.
"I know, I'm sorry," Angela says sympathetically, reaching out to squeeze your hand in a gesture of support. "You know, I'm here if you need to talk or something. Or drink it away. Whatever suits you," she adds with a chuckle.
You spot Tim across the bullpen, his back turned as he converses with another officer. A surge of emotion wells up inside you, a tangled mess of longing and heartache that threatens to overwhelm you.
"You know what?" you say suddenly, your voice firm despite the tremor in your heart. "I could use a drink." You pause, a plan forming in your mind. "Or maybe ten. But I have to take care of something first."
Angela looks at you, confusion flickering in her eyes as you rise from your desk and make your way towards Tim. "Y/N!" she calls after you, but you ignore her, your mind made up as you steel yourself for the confrontation that lies ahead.
Outside, the sun sets in a blaze of orange and pink, casting long shadows across the pavement as the city begins to quieten down. But for you, the night is just beginning, a whirlwind of emotions and unanswered questions swirling around you as you prepare to face the man who holds your heart in his hands.
Your heart pounds in your chest, a mixture of uneasiness and determination swirling inside you. His gaze meets yours, and for a moment, you see a flicker of something familiar in his eyes, a warmth that sends a shiver down your spine.
"Sergeant Bradford, may I have a word?" you ask, your voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside you.
Tim turns to face you, his brow furrowing in concern as he takes in your appearance. The other officer excuses himself, sensing the gravity of the situation.
The circles under your eyes and the weariness in your expression send a pang of guilt coursing through him. He's been so consumed with his own turmoil that he failed to notice the toll it was taking on you.
"Everything okay?" Tim asks, his voice soft with concern.
"Yeah, just wanted to talk to you about something," you reply, your voice betraying none of the turmoil raging inside you.
As Tim's concern for your well-being rises, so does his guilt. He knows he's been distant, preoccupied with his own thoughts and emotions. But seeing you like this, so worn down and fragile, hits him harder than he expected. A surge of emotions threatens to overwhelm you, as well, the love you've buried deep down resurfaces, overshadowing the pain and frustration that have consumed you for weeks.
"Hold on a second, Y/N," Tim says, his voice tinged with worry. "When's the last time you slept? Or ate something?"
You feel a surge of anger bubble up inside you, a mask to cover the hurt and vulnerability that threaten to spill over.
"Okay, Bradford. Don't pretend like you care," you snap, your voice sharper than intended. Deep down, you're grateful to know he still cares, but the pain is too raw, too fresh to acknowledge.
"I just thought it's best for you to have this back," you continue, taking his hand and placing the dog tag in his palm. Your voice trembles slightly as you speak, the weight of your words heavy in the air. "You know, for the wedding. Something old. Like... our friendship."
Tim's heart sinks as you push the dog tag into his hand, your words ringing in his ears like a painful echo.
Without giving him a chance to respond, you turn and walk away, leaving Tim speechless and confused in your wake. Deep down, you know you've made the right choice. It's time to let go of the past and move forward, even if it means facing a future without the man you've loved for so long.
He knows he messed up, knows he let you down in ways he can't even begin to comprehend. But as he watches you disappear into the crowd, he's filled with a determination unlike anything he's ever felt before.
He won't let you slip through his fingers, won't let your friendship crumble away to nothing. Whatever it takes, he'll make things right, even if it means facing the painful truth that he's been in love with you all along.
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The night air is thick with the scent of alcohol and laughter as you stumble out of the bar, Angela's concerned gaze following your every move. You've had way too much to drink, the alcohol coursing through your veins and clouding your thoughts with a haze of euphoria and pain.
But despite Angela's disapproving glances, you press on, drowning your sorrows in the numbing embrace of alcohol. It's a temporary escape, a fleeting moment of oblivion in a world that seems determined to crush you beneath its weight.
As the night wears on, the alcohol begins to take its toll, your movements growing sluggish and uncoordinated. Your laughter turns to tears, the pain of losing Tim as a friend hitting you with a force you can't begin to comprehend.
And then, just as the world begins to blur around you, Angela's voice cuts through the fog, her words a lifeline in the darkness. "Bradford, get your ass here and clean the mess you've made," she says over the phone, her tone tinged with worry.
Tim's voice responds, filled with concern. "What happened?"
"Y/N's a bit drunk and I can't deal with her by myself," Angela replies, her voice tight with concern.
"Give me five," Tim says, his urgency palpable even over the phone.
As Tim rushes to the bar, his heart pounds in his chest with a mixture of worry and guilt. He can't shake the feeling that he's somehow responsible for the state you're in, that his actions—or lack thereof—have pushed you to this point.
When Tim arrives at the bar, you're a total mess, the alcohol having stripped away all semblance of control. Seeing you like this, vulnerable and hurting, tears at his heartstrings in a way he never expected. He can't help but feel a surge of guilt wash over him, knowing that he's played a part in your pain.
He helps you into his car, his touch gentle yet firm, a rush of conflicting emotions floods through you. His hands are warm against your skin, a stark contrast to the cold reality of the night air.
You feel a pang of sadness as you meet his eyes, clouded with worry and concern. The distance between you feels insurmountable, a chasm widening with each passing moment.
"Come on, Y/N. The party's over. Let's get you home," Tim says softly, his voice filled with concern and they wash over you like a soothing balm, a reminder that even in your darkest moments, he's still there, still willing to help you pick up the pieces.
But you protest, your words slurred and disjointed as you gaze at Angela through heavy-lidded eyes. "Why did you call him?" you mumble, frustration evident in your voice.
He buckles you up, his movements careful and deliberate, a flicker of hope stirs within you. Maybe, just maybe, there's still a chance to salvage what's left of your friendship, to bridge the gap that's grown between you.
Tim exchanges a look with Angela, confusion flickering in his eyes. "Where are her keys?" he asks, his tone serious.
Angela shrugs innocently. "Yeah, that's the problem. She lost her purse. Don't you have a spare key?"
Tim's jaw tightens with frustration. "No. You?"
Angela shakes her head, her expression apologetic. "Obviously not, that's why I called you." she smiles at him playfully, "Good night, Bradford."
As Tim starts the car and pulls away from the curb, the world outside blurs into a hazy kaleidoscope of lights and shadows. You bumble something incoherent through the drive, your words slurred and disjointed as you struggle to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.
He helps you out of the car and guides you inside his house, his touch is both gentle and reassuring. Each brush of his hand against yours sends a jolt of electricity coursing through you, igniting a fire deep within your soul. You lean on him heavily, your legs wobbly from the alcohol as he guides you inside.
Tim leads you to his bedroom, his movements gentle yet firm. He helps you out of your shoes and jacket, his touch lingering longer than necessary as he tucks you into his bed, tracing invisible patterns along your arm, pulling the covers over you. You can feel the warmth of his touch seeping into your bones, soothing the ache in your heart and calming the storm raging inside you.
"Can I get you anything?" he asks softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort. "Do you need anything?"
You mumble something incoherent in response, your words slurred and barely audible. As he sits beside you on the edge of the bed, his touch becomes hesitant, unsure of how to navigate the tangled web of emotions between you. His hand hovers over yours, his fingers trembling ever so slightly as he debates whether to reach out or pull away.
"You," you whisper, your voice barely above a whisper.
Tim's heart skips a beat at your words, a surge of excitement coursing through him as his touch falters, his fingers brushing lightly against your cheek, searching your eyes for any sign of doubt. But all he finds is raw honesty, a vulnerability that takes his breath away and leaves him feeling exposed.
He maintains a serious expression, his concern for your well-being overriding any other emotions.
"You're drunk, Y/N," he says softly, his voice tinged with regret. "You don't know what you're talking about."
But you're insistent, stumbling over your words. "I know," you say, your voice tinged with desperation. "I know I love you and I know I need you."
Tim's heart aches at your words, the weight of your confession hanging heavy in the air between you. But he knows you're not in the right state of mind to have this conversation now.
But you shake your head stubbornly, your words slurred as you try to leave the bed. "I need to go. What would your fiancée say" you insist.
"Take it easy, Y/N," he says gently, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "You need sleep. We'll talk in the morning."
But you plead with him, your eyes searching his for any sign of reassurance. "Please don't go," you whisper, your voice tinged with desperation.
With a sigh, Tim gives in, knowing that arguing with you now would only make things worse. "Fine," he says softly, a hint of amusement in his voice. "I'll humor you and sleep on the floor."
You pat the empty side of the bed, a small smile playing on your lips. "Here," you say, your voice soft and pleading.
Tim chuckles softly, shaking his head in amusement. "You're so drunk," he murmurs, his fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you close. "And you're definitely gonna kill me in the morning."
Tim settles into bed beside you, his touch is gentle yet firm, his fingers tracing soothing patterns along your back. The warmth of his embrace envelops you like a cocoon, comforting and familiar, and you find yourself leaning into him instinctively, seeking solace in his presence.
"But it's definitely worth it," Tim whispers softly, his voice filled with a tenderness that makes your heart swell with love.
His touch sends shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that burns brighter with each passing moment. It's as if every brush of his fingers against your skin is a promise, a silent reassurance that you're not alone, that he's here for you no matter what.
And as you bury your face against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulls you into a sense of peace you haven't felt in weeks. In this moment, with Tim's arms wrapped around you, everything else fades away, leaving only the two of you alone in the darkness.
But beneath the surface, a storm rages within you, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions that threatens to tear you apart. Guilt gnaws at your insides, knowing that you've burdened Tim with your drunken confessions, knowing that you've crossed a line that can never be uncrossed.
His touch is tender yet tentative, as if he's afraid to break the fragile spell that binds you together. He can't help but feel a sense of peace wash over him, knowing that in this moment, nothing else matters except the two of you, wrapped up in each other's arms, clinging to the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, there's still a chance for love.
And yet, despite the turmoil raging inside you, there's a sense of rightness in this moment, a feeling that you've finally found your place in the world. In Tim's arms, you feel safe and loved, cherished in a way you never thought possible.
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dzvelinaskebiyars · 3 months
Note
Can I request a lover boy rindou with a reader like defending his girlfriend everytime someone speaks slightly bad about her or just naturally bringing her up in any conversation and sometimes even Unknowingly! Thank you!!
YES! Thank you so much for requesting<333
❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀
Rindou and you weren't in relationship for long yet. It has only been 6 months, though it was a secret for 4 months. But the relationship still was so special and everyone could see it. Though, it's a surprise that a ruler of Roppongi, someone with so much strength and authority, would date an ordinary girl. Some gang members in Roppongi even disliked the fact. The person they respected deserved someone stronger, more popular and more useful.
Or so they thought...
Standing in front of Rindou, one of the gang's leader had guts to run his mouth. "I heard you're dating?"
Rindou furrowed his eyebrows slightly, not liking where this is going. "Yes, and?"
The guy looked directly in Rindou's eyes. Yes, he was scared in the presence of Haitani, but there was no backing down now. "Nothing. It's just a surprise that someone who loves control, strength and fights like you would choose someone so...Ordinary. I mean, clearly she has nothing special in her that would match you, sir-"
Rindou immediately punched the guy, breaking his nose. "Who gave you right to speak?" His cold glare would even cut through a wall, let alone the guy who's body was filled with fear. "Nothing special? Watch what you say." Rindou kicked him across the ground. "If anything, I have nothing special in me that would even match hers. She's special and perfect no matter what. But some rotten-brained punk dares to insult my girlfriend? And then dares to tell me who I should be dating?" Rindou said while kicking the guy relentlessly. "Seems like gang leaders in Roppongi forgot their own place, huh?"
The guy ended up with two broken hands, broken nose and countless bruises.
No one should dare to speak ill of his girl and no one will, he'll make sure of that.
♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦♡❦
Ran, Rindou and Shion were hanging out together. They might not seem close from outside but they have known each other since they were 13. After all, Vicious Generation has deep and strong bond.
"Fuck spring. It's going to get hot these days." Shion grumbled. He disliked spring, flowers and hot weather.
"Come on now, spring is beautiful." Ran said.
"Y/n loves spring." Rindou suddenly stated after staying quiet for minutes. Ran and Shion looked at him with no-hope-for-this-lover-boy expression.
"Thanks, I'll add that to my growing list of things I didn't want to know." Shion rolled his eyes. It's the fifth time Rindou brought you up in the conversation and even continued ranting about you.
"I wonder what she's doing right now." Rindou spoke, again, about you.
Ran turned to Shion. "He won't pay attention to us for now, so just ignore him."
"Is he always like this?" Shion whispered, getting a nod from Ran.
"Yeah, he's hopelessly in love."
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I really hope you enjoyed this and are satisfied! If you want more tho or are dissatisfied with this, don't hesitate to give me another request<3
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rainybubbles · 1 year
Text
How do you accidentally confess to COD men ?
Soap, Ghost, Alejandro, Gaz, König, Alex, Price
(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written)
S O A P :
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-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.
-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.
-You blinked awkwardly.
-Let's start over and try to understand this, shall we?
-Well, you were a nurse working on a military base.
-When all the doctors asked you to wake up at 3 AM, you knew something had happened. You ran to the infirmary and saw Soap.
-He was heavily injured.
-Your heart skipped a beat.
-You and Soap had known each other since his enlistment.
- You were just an apprentice nurse, and he was a cadet. He always burnt something, and you were there to look after him, even when he accidentally burnt the ass of his sergeant.
-You had a crush on him since that time, but you decided a long time ago not to act on it.
- Soap was clearly not interested in you, and he had gone out with a lot of people.
-You can definitely say you're not his type at all, and you like your bond the way it is.
-But now, seeing him like this, it was different. Your heart was overwhelmed, and your mouth spoke before you could filter what you said.
-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.
-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.
-You blinked awkwardly.
-"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not ethical at all. You need help, and I'm talking nonsense."
-You helped the doctors and quickly went outside when you finished, in order to think about what had just happened.
-"Shit, it was so awkward. I really thought we were in a movie or something," you said, angry at yourself.
-"Well, honestly, it was fun to see you like that. I mean, it could have been the climax of a movie if Ghost had started to play the violin, and a slow-mo started on your face," a voice joked.
-You turned around and saw Soap.
-"You're supposed to lay down. You can't walk."
-"What can I say? Seeing you make miracles," he says with a smirk.
-You sighed and walked towards him, offering your arms to lead him to a bed. He smiled.
-"I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have said that," you said.
-"But you mean it?"
-"That's not the point. It was not the moment, and I know the answer. It was just cringe."
-"...damn, loving me is cringe?" Soap said teasing you.
-"That's- you know that's not what I mean."
-"Yes, I know. I feel the same, by the way."
-"But you..."
-"It's been three months, I realize. I know it's longer for you."
-"You noticed," you realized, all these years thinking you were good at hiding it were in fact obvious to him.
-"Yes, but you decided not to tell anything, so I never acted on it. But I...I feel the same now, and you almost confessed, so can you give me a chance?"
-"You mean when you can take me on a date and not bleed to death?" you said, looking at his injuries.
-"Yes," he chuckled.
-"Okay," you whispered, scared that it was a dream.
-"Okay," he repeated with a smile.
G H O S T :
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-"WHAT DO I DO NOW ?!" you screamed and looked at your friend.
-"Just...explain to him."
-"Oh yeah and how do you explain why I send him a fucking eggplant emoji at 4 AM without anything ?" you screamed panicked
-"Tell him the truth." your friend casually says.
-"He won't believe me. Like 'hey I sent you this emoji not because I want to fuck you, but because my brother sent me a lot of memes with eggplant so every night we sent this emoji to each other laughing. And I made a mistake and sent this to you, not him. Nobody does that. He won't believe me." you sigh."Oh fuck, he rode the text."
-"Well...he's your crush no ? I mean you talk about him often so if anything happens it could be good."
-"Yes he is, but I don't want to confess, not now. Fuck, I only met him like three times and only thanks to Soap. We're just acquaintance. I only have his number because I'm Soap's emergency contact."
-"And now he thinks you want to fuck him." your friends resumes
-"Thanks for your help." you say sarcastically."Shit he's writing, what would he say ?"
-"Well I bet on a peach emoji."
-You looked at your friend and showed them your middle finger.
-"What if I make things awkward and-"
-"You are always awkward."your friend interrupts you.
-"...thanks for your support." you said ironically.
-"I mean the worst is that he says no and when you'll meet again the only thing he remembers will be this fucking emoji. That's fine."your friend says.
-"No. I don't want to be the eggplant emoji in his mind."
-"It's too late."
-A ring interrupted your conversation.
-"It's him." you said looking at your notification.
-"And ?"
-"He sent a comma."
-"A comma?" your friend asks lost
-"Yes."
-"what does it mean ?"
-"I DON'T KNOW ! Does it mean he stops to breathe, or I should breathe or-"
-"Or he made a mistake and typed wrong."
-"No, he's good with his hands."
-"I don't want to know how you know that." your friend says looking at you
-"...I wasn't implying anything weird. He's a fucking military." you answered.
-"Ok. So what do you do ?"
-"I could send a comma too ?"
-"Yay revise your punctuations with Y/N and Ghost." your friend says ironically.
-"I...oh fuck, he sent another text."
-"And ?" your friend asks
-"Does the eggplant be used to convey a desire to meet me or is it some weird shit like Soap does usually,"you read out loud his text
-"he texts like a grandpa." your friend comments
-"Fuck you." you say.
-"Calm down, I'm just saying the truth. You should answer it's because you want him."
-"No way, I told you we're acquaintances. I have a crush yes, but we don't know each other well and I-"
-Ting.
-Another text from him.
-"Because it's okay in both cases." he texted you.
-"Oh fuck." you say with your eyes widen.
-"You can say that again !" your friend laughs.
A L E J A N D R O :
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-Being a soldier means living in a community. And even if sometimes you're lucky and have your own little room, it's obviously not a hotel.
-So when Alejandro was doing a patrol to check everyone was asleep, he didn't expect to overhear you.
- But it was normal, the walls were thin and he could hear Rudy's snore from here.
-So yes, he heard you talking in your sleep.
-Except it was a fever dream you were having, and it was his name you were whispering.
-He froze.
-He didn't want to intrude, so he stepped back, but it was too late.
- He heard you clearly because of those thin walls.
-The next morning, when all his soldiers were eating together and you were present he couldn't stop looking at you. He didn't know what to do.
-He was not a moron, and he didn't want to confront you about that, but keeping this silent was also horrible.
-"Everything is good, Ale?" Rudy asks.
-"...I overheard something."
-"Let me guess, two soldiers making out? It's like the fourth time this week. Are they rabbits or what?" Rudy sighs at the new cadets.
-"No, it was not two soldiers," Alejandro answers.
-"Oh." Rudy realizes, "oh. Well...it's also common to do it solo. Why are you making this a big deal?"
-"Because they say my name."
-Rudy chokes on his bread and starts laughing.
-"Why do you find this funny?" Alejandro whispers angrily.
-"Because you seem all flustered. You're usually a smooth talker, but you seem so shy about it. It's not the first time a soldier has a crush on you, Alejandro."
-"I know, but it's different."
-"And why is it different?"
-"It's them."
-Rudy smirks.
-"I see."
-"But I can't say I overheard them, but I want to tell them I feel the same. How do I do this when all I could think when I see them is this memory?"
-"Be honest, you don't know how to lie. You're an honest man, Alejandro."
-"You're right, I have to tell them," Alejandro says. He's brave, he can do that.
-"They're coming, good luck," Rudy says and winks.
-You sit at your usual place, greeting everyone, and look at Alejandro.
-"Is everything okay?" you ask him when you notice his expression.
-"I overheard you," he says blankly out of nowhere.
"...can you be more clear, because I have no idea what you're talking about?" you say lost.
-"Last night, I was checking if everyone was asleep and I overheard you saying my name in a feverish dream."
-You raise your eyebrows and smirk.
-"Is that so?"
-He notices the smirk.
-"Why are you smirking?"
-"Because I was on cleaning duty this night; it's Mina who was in my room."
-"Oh."
-"Yes. I guess you have to talk to her," you say.
-"You're right. Sorry, I didn't know."
-"That's okay, but if I may ask, what were you planning to do after telling me this?" you tease him.
He notices your playful tone and smirks back.
-"That you don't need to dream, you can have me in real life."
-"Smooth, really smooth, Alejandro."
He smiles.
-"So it's a yes?"
-"Yes, but you still have to talk to Mina. I wasn't joking; it was her in my room last night."
G A Z :
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-It was a night mission.
-You were waiting with the 141 for the order to go.
-It's been hours since you were waiting, and you knew after this mission you probably couldn't see the 141 again.
-Because you were in a different unit, and your collaboration was only for this mission.
-So you knew it was probably the moment to shoot your shot with Gaz.
-You inhale and go to his figure lying in the dark.
- "Gaz, I know we get along with each other. I can't count how many nights we spent just talking to each other on the base or even how many times we laugh together.I...I'm interested in you in more of a friend way. I know it's horrible to say that now, but afterward, it will be too late. So yeah." You say.
-Silence.
-You only hear silence as the figure doesn't move.
-You feel your heart aching.
-Shit, is he rejecting you in silence without saying anything?
-You look at the ground.
-"I think you should activate your vision nocturne, soldier. Gaz is at your right."
-Shit.
-Shit, shit, shit.
- You open your eyes wide.
-You...you just confessed to Price thinking it was fucking Gaz.
-"Shit, I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean that obviously. I-"
-"Calm down, soldier. And go talk to him. We still have time here, but look at who you're talking to." Price teases you.
-You nod and walk towards Gaz ashamed.
- "Are you okay?" Gaz asks.
-"I just made the worst mistake of my life."
-"What did you say? Did you say to Price he had a nice ass or what?" Gaz jokes to light up the mood.
- You stay silent.
-Gaz opens his mouth. "No, you-"
-"It wasn't his ass. But yeah, I basically confessed to him, because I mistook him for someone else. ?Because obviously in the dark without night vision you can't see anything."
-Gaz laughs.
-"Stop laughing, it's horrible. I'm the worst, he probably will report me."
-"No, he knew it wasn't for him, didn't he ?"
- "Yes, but it...I'm feeling so ashamed."
-"With who do you think mistake him for?" Gaz asks.
-"I don't answer that question. I have made enough confessions for today."
-"Come on, tell me."
-"Nope."
-"Let me guess then."
-"We're only five here, I don't want to let you guess."
-"Soap?"
-"Gaz, I said no."
-"Because if it's him, I don't think he-"
-"You. It was you." You say to shut him up. "Happy, now?"
-He stays silent. You look at him.
-"Yes," he says, smiling. "Even though I'm jealous that Price got the whole speech, it felt like I'm only having the crumbs." He teases you.
-"Shut up," you smile.
-"But I'm happy, I feel the same."
-"Good, because I have enough rejection for today."
-"Ohhhh, Price's rejection is not a good experience?" He jokes.
-"I could never again look at him in the eyes," you say.
K Ö N I G :
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-"I thought you were just getting to know him," Soap says.
-"Yes. And that's why I was doing."
-"So could you explain how König ended up with his vest burnt if you were just talking ?" Gaz says skeptical.
-"I...well I was lighting the vanilla candle and he was here, with his eyes and I-"
-"You were checking him out and didn't pay attention to the matchstick, isn't it ?" Soap asks.
-"I was absorbed by his eyes ! They're like so beautiful and he was so close, I-"
-"You burnt his vest." Gaz says.
-"Thanks for the reminder, Gaz. I know now my chances are ruined with him. Shit. The worst is that I can't tell him why I accidentally burnt his vest, so now he thinks I hate him."
-"Well you could find an excuse." Soap says.
-"What excuse could explain a burnt vest, Mr. explosion ?" you asked.
-"You wanted to test if his vest was fireproof." Soap tried
-"..." you said.
-"..." Gaz said.
-Soap sighed.
-"Ok it's not a good one. But I'm trying to help, okay ?"
-"I have to tell him the truth. I don't want him to think I hate him. He's so gentle with us."
-"He's here. Go !" Gaz said as he pushed you.
-You opened your eyes wide. You didn't expect you would have to do that so soon.
-You walked anxiously towards him.
-When he saw you, he stepped back a little.
-It hurt you, but it was fair after the incident.
-"Hey, König, I- I wanted to explain what happened."
-He looked at you and just nodded, waiting for your explanation.
-"In fact I burnt your vest because I was admiring your eyes.I was gazing at you. And I didn't concentrate at all on the candle and I let the matchstick fall. I'm sorry."
-He opened his mouth. He didn't know what to say.
-"I- you were gazing at me ?"
-"Yes, I find you beautiful. But it's not an excuse for what happened. I should have paid more attention to the candle" you said honestly.
-"Thanks for the compliment and the apology"
-"I hope that you don't have any grudges, or you don't think I hate you. I wanted to make it clear."
-"Oh no, well, I know it was an accident. You seem..." he stopped himself to find the right word to described how much you were screaming and scared "terrified ?"
-"Yes." you confirmed.
-"So I knew it was not intentional, but I didn't understand why. But now I know."
-"Cool, so we're okay ?" you asked.
-"You don't want to know ?"
-"Know what ?"
-"If I find you beautiful too ? If I'm gazing at you sometimes ?"
-"Oh, no. I mean I didn't expect anything, so don't feel pressured or anything and-"
-"Because I do." he interrupts you.
-"Oh."
-"Yes."
-"So if I ask you on a date ?"
-"Yes."
-"Cool, cool, cool," you said anxiously but happy
-"Tonight ?" he asked.
-"YES ! I mean, yes of course."
-He smiled under his mask and left. You walked back to Soap and Gaz.
-"So ?" Gaz asked.
-"I have a date."
-"WHAT ?" Gaz said.
-" WHY DID Y/N HAVE A DATE WHEN THEY PUT HIM ON A FIRE AND I CAN'T EVEN HAVE ONE ?!" Soap whined
-You laughed. You didn't know why, but you definitely knew you were lucky he said yes.
A L E X :
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-You were a barista at a coffee shop. You were taking Alex's order as usual, since he was a regular when your colleague interrupted you.
-"I prepared the order of the regular hottie you were talking about."
-You looked up at Alex.
-You looked at your colleague.
-He opened his eyes wide.
-"Oh shit" your colleague said.
-"I'm sorry Alex." You said, "This one is on the house and the next time my colleague will serve you. Sorry again." You gave him his coffee and left in the backs now not only your chances were ruined, but you could be possibly fired.
-Shit, it was unprofessional to talk with your colleagues about your crushes on some clients.
-But this was worst because the said client knew that now.
-He knew he was the hottie.
-"Hey", your colleague said after few minutes "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
-"That's okay you couldn't guess he was here. In fact you could because it was his order, but yeah..."
-"But I'm happy."
-"Happy ?" you said a little angry by his remarks now.
-"He let you that." he said giving you a paper.
-"What..." you took the paper and saw a number :"glad to be called a hottie by a hottie, call me."
-"oh wow"
-"It's like a romantic movie !"
-"Absolutely not."
-"YESSSSSSSS" your colleague teased you.
-"I'm just glad to not be fired right now."
P R I C E :
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-You were an interpreter. During a long, boring brief, you were chatting with Gaz.
-"Nikolai, Lasswell, Price. Kiss, marry, kill," he says.
-"Lasswell is married, Gaz." you answer.
-"Then Ghost."
-"I kill Nikolai."
-"You dare to kill him!" Gaz says shocked.
-"I mean, I like him. He's a good guy, but I don't know him well. So yes, kill him, kiss Ghost, and marry Price."
-"Your judgment is so biased," Gaz says laughing.
-"Biased?"
-"You only marry Price because you like him."
-"Yeah, that's the point of the game. It's based on preferences, Gaz," you say.
-He smiles.
-"You don't deny what I say."
-"It's because that's obvious, I have a thing for him. Plus, everybody knows Price is like the perfect husband material."
-"Hmm, thanks for your comment," a voice says.
-You and Gaz look at each other.
-The whole room is staring at you.
-Lasswell points the microphone at your right, which is still on.
-"Fuck," you say and your voice echoes throughout the room.
-"Sorry about that," Gaz says, and he switches off the microphone.
-"We are so dead," Gaz says.
-"I am so dead, you mean. I'm surprised if they don't replace me with another interpreter at the end of the day."
-The meeting ends, but as Gaz and you are leaving, you hear Price calling you.
-You hesitate but walk towards him.
-"You know what I'm about to say."
-"Yes, Sir, it was inappropriate, and we should have paid attention to the brief. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. As you can guess, my goal was not to let this slip," you answer.
-Price nods.
-"Good. You can leave."
-You leave the room.
-You thought it was the end, Price clearly rejects you.
-Yet a few weeks later, when the mission ended, Price approached you.
-You were sitting at the bar with the 141 celebrating the success.
-"So you're not working with us anymore," he said.
-"Yeah, that's the end of my mission." You answered, smiling.
-"So it's not inappropriate if I ask you on a date?"
-"A date? Wait, you-"
-"I keep my work and personal life separated."
-"Shit, so if you didn't say anything, it was because we were colleagues."
-"And because it was fun to see you defeated," he chuckles.
-"You're mean." You laugh. "But that's a yes."
If you want more my Call of Duty masterlist : here
My masterlist : here
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lovecoremarbs · 3 months
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Proudly Displayed
fandom: smiling friends
prompt: charlie dompler/reader
words: 1,264
summary: Things were going well as you and your boyfriend unpacked the first few boxes, that was until he got to the bottom of the first box and stumbled across something you wished he wouldn't bring up. Your degree.
notes: Yes, this was totally inspired by the game "Unpacking" where you have to put the character's degree underneath the bed of their shitty ex to progress through the game. I tried a new writing style with this by trying not to break up paragraphs like I normally do, hope you like it!
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Boxes were all strewn around Charlie’s apartment, you two were bringing in the last of them as you only had rented the moving truck for a few hours and your time was quickly running out. You and Charlie, after months and months of back-and-forth discussions, decided to bite the bullet and finally move in together. Your lease was almost up anyway, so the best decision was to move into his place by the end of the month. You both had moved the last of the boxes into the small space, crashing down on his couch as you both leaned against each other on the lumpy cushion, your chests heaving as shitty timing decided you moved in during the hottest point in summer. Your mind wandered as Charlie breathed heavily next to you, his eyes half-lidded while sweat poured down his face onto his white shirt, leaving a thick wet ring around his neck. Damn, he must really love you if he’s willing to do all this work to help move you into his place. Charlie was known for doing the bare minimum at work, home, basically anywhere so to see him go through this much effort for you made your chest fill up with butterflies, daring to make you nauseous. He really wanted you there with him and showed it to you, even if he didn’t mention it…
Your mind wandered further, thinking about the moving truck. You reached out for your phone on the coffee table, your screen reading 3;40 pm. Shit, you needed to have the moving truck back by 4, or else there would be an extra fee. SIghing, you were preparing to get up and moving only to have an out-of-breath Charlie pull you back down onto the couch with him.
“Not now.” He swallowed hard as he spoke,”Ugh- You need to rest.” You raised your brow, pointing to the window, “But the truck is-” “Those stuck-up assholes can wait, I don’t want you getting heatstroke.”  He was right, you were already sweating your ass off in your shirt and sweatpants, if you went out in the sun right now, you would pass out right in the middle of the road. But there was no point in sitting there and doing nothing, you wanted to get this done before bed tonight and the boxes won't unpack themselves. Getting up off the couch, you walked over to a leaning pile of small boxes and ripped the tape off of one of them with your bare fingers.
“H- Hold on.” Using the bottom hem of his shirt, he wiped the sweat off the top of his forehead with it. “Gimme a minute and I’ll help you with that.” He’d been getting better at doing things on his own accord and not having to be asked, you took note of that. You smiled at him and turned your attention back to the contents of the boxes, small trinkets and necessities filled this one, stuff you needed Charlie’s help to find a place for. Right on cue, he walked over and pulled out things one at a time. It was stuff that was all mixed about, as you didn’t really have time to organize shit. Well, you kinda did but procrastination can be a bitch, y’know? But it got a laugh out of Charlie, which in turn made you laugh. “Babe, what is a PEPPER GRINDER doing in a box with your bathroom shit? How in the hell did you do that?” Your boyfriend laughed his ass off as you tried to explain yourself, “I was in a hurry!” “My ass, what did you do? Bring the pepper grinder into the bathroom as you were making dinner?” It was like that for most of that box as you worked on emptying another, until he got to the bottom where he pulled back the newspaper to see a degree displayed in a very nice frame. 
“Oh shit, this is a master’s degree.” You were pulled from your thoughts as you looked over, seeing Charlie holding the frame, his eyes slightly wide as he looked back at you. “You didn’t tell me you went to college, let alone you graduated.” Snatching it away from him, you held the frame to your chest, “I didn’t think it was that important.” You started to sweat again, this time not from the sweltering heat. “Babe, that’s like- super impressive and important. Do you know how many people actually finish college and graduate?” Your face flushed as your chest tightened, he was making a big deal out of this when it really wasn’t. You didn’t feel like bringing it up so you didn’t! “I just figured you didn’t wanna hear about it, it’s no big deal.” You looked away from him, going back to emptying the boxes. Only problem? You couldn’t focus at all and kept picking up the same two things, staring at them as Charlie continued. 
“What do you mean I ‘wouldn’t wanna hear about it’? What would make you think that, honestly?” Shit. You really didn’t want to think about him ever again, but Charlie’s question really made you think. Think to the point you dug up old memories you hoped would be locked away in the void pit of your brain forever and ever. You took a breath, despite the large lump in your throat making it hard to do so, and faced him. “You remember that ex I had right before I met you?” Charlie’s expression softened as he sat down, “Yeah? What about him?” “Well, he had all these things hanging up on his wall that he proudly displayed-guitars, records, family pictures.” Your breath hitched as you continued. “Well, when I first moved in with him, he told me he… Had no room for my degree and I had to put it away. Said ‘It wasn’t that important anyways.’ So I did, haven’t hung it up since.” 
Charlie’s expression turned to one of frustration, his lip slightly quivered in anger. Balling up his fists, he spoke rather loudly, “With all due respect-nah scratch that, fuck that asshole. With NO due respect, that’s bullshit!” He took the frame out of your hands and stomped over to the junk drawer of your now-shared kitchen, pulling out nails and a hammer. “Charlie, what are you…?”  
His knuckles were turning white from how tight he was holding the hammer, lining up a nail to the kitchen wall as he hammered one in. “I’m showing you, this is something that needs to be proudly displayed!” He hung your degree on the wall, taking a step back to look at it with you. 
“Does it look crooked? I-I can’t really tell.” “No, it looks fine Charlie but why did you do all that? I mean, it’s just a damn piece of paper.” Charlie pointed at you as he continued, “See? That’s why I did it, right there. If you really believe that, I’m never taking that ‘damn piece of paper’ down.” That feeling in your chest came back, not the one where it felt like your heart broke into pieces but the one where it felt like your heart was in a chokehold, in a good way of course. Charlie wrapped an arm around you as you both stared at your master’s degree. Yeah, you should feel proud, all those years of studying and tests were damn worth it right that second. 
Your proud moment was short-lived however when Charlie looked at his phone and mumbled “Oh shit. We gotta get the truck back now, it’s thirty minutes overdue.” 
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mournings-stars · 7 months
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all i've ever known, again
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the fifth and final part to IF IT’S TRUE / the orpheus and eurydice fic :))
so i kind of lied to yall... cus pt. 4 was the last part of the prelude and i had a final last part already started LOL so heres kind of (very much up to you whether it is or isn't) an alternate ending to this greek tragedy-inspired story also thanks to this request: “a happy ending or continue the story like what happened after the reader failed to bring Lucifer back ect.” from @smnthvxe that gave me the idea to change it from a direct continuation to an semi-alt happy ending… i think yall will like this alt ending more than a canon-aligned continuation :)
includes: all that other stuff but fluff this time i promise….
tags: @lxkeee @viannasthings @majonla @sapphirecaelis
part one | part two | part three | part four
When he fell, you didn’t come to the trial. You couldn’t. You didn’t tell anyone about his indiscretions. You let everyone think you were still happily as close as you were, wishing it’d been more — that you had, did, and said more. You stayed in the house you shared, went on with your days as you had been, and slept in the same bed because you had trouble sleeping when he wasn’t there. 
But you didn’t speak. 
He’d try, and he didn’t go back to Earth for some time, but each time you tried, your throat tightened and you had to stop before you said something that would make both of you feel worse. You couldn’t look at him without expecting him to confess more of what he did, more of how he showed her things that were so special to you. You didn’t want to know what else happened, if he kissed her, slept with her, it’d only make things worse. But he told you he never did. He told you he comforted her, and she comforted him, and that was all. 
He tried giving you replicas of flowers when you accepted what he told you, but they didn’t mean the same as they did before, and the moment you took them, they began to wilt. “I’m sorry,” you’d try to say as he looked at the flowers in defeat, but nothing came out. He brushed it off, pretending it didn’t sting and offered to show you what he’d been working on, but you didn’t want to be the one he showed his pride to when there was no one else to go to. 
“I’ll never see her again,” he promised, his last attempt to fix what he’d done.  
“It’s okay,” was the most you said to him in weeks, but he wished he didn’t hear it. He wished he wasn’t hearing you tell him to be happy without you again. 
But he knew now; all of his doubtful thoughts, after he ruined everything, were true. He’d made them so. 
Yet, you still protected him. 
Until the very end, you protected him for years until you couldn’t without falling with him. Years, and you didn’t tell anyone. Years, and you started staying in your old home, alone. Years, and when rumors spiraled, he helped her flee from The Garden. 
Years, and he understood what your relationship had truly been as he began to spend years with Lilith. 
Years, and when you didn’t show, everyone knew the truth. 
He didn’t even try to fight falling. 
Then, it was months. You didn’t see Lucifer on the promenade, or in your garden. You didn’t even see him coming back from Earth. You hadn’t spoken in years, but you saw each other everyday, and you noticed quickly when you didn’t. 
No one told you he fell. No one told you he stood trial. All of Heaven was keeping you in the dark until you went to Sera. 
“Free will? You banished him for free will?!” You yelled at her, and she let you, having expected this reaction. 
“He was also unfaithful,” she said simply.
“We weren’t married.” She shook her head. “We were hardly together — Sera, you can’t do this—“
“You spent centuries together. Nearly a millennium, do not dilute that kind of love to excuse his sin.” Eyes appeared all across her being. She was more angry for you than you had ever been, and she wanted you to lose faith in him. Just as she had. 
“We spent that time together, yes, we lived together. We slept in the same bed, had meals together, held each other… But most of the kisses we shared were on the cheek, or hand. It’s not what you think—“
“Don’t do this, Humility,” she scoffed, “I won’t listen to you lie for him—“
“It’s true! Sera, please, listen to me. Free will can be good! We can root out the evil in humanity and send it down to this Hell you spoke about. Humans will understand right from wrong — they won’t just resort to evil without knowing that’s what it is. Let him explain, I’m sure he had the best intentions—“
“Intent means nothing when this is what happens!” You quieted at her stern voice and full angelic form, heavenly voice echoing off the walls. “You cannot fix this—“
“You have to let me try.” And again, years later, she watched you in defeat in front of her. First, you cried to her over what you were losing on Earth, and now what you lost because of it. Except this time, you didn’t blame the humans. “Please,” you begged, making her resolve soften as she saw the shine in your eyes. “Let me try, so I can show him I’d do the same for him, as he’d do for me.”
“What are you talking about…?” Her angelic form settled as she frowned at you. “Surely, you don’t blame yourself—“
“No.” You shook your head. “When the Earth began to change, and everything felt so bleak, he was there to help me back into the light with the garden.”
“What garden? Eden?” You shook your head again and she was even more confused. “Perhaps you could show me?” She got up, walked over, and put a soothing hand on your back. 
You were consumed in a golden wave of magic, transporting you to the garden you came to everyday. You blinked your glassy eyes at her, gesturing to the garden and the animals that came to you and hoping that would be enough to convince her. 
“I’ve never seen this place before,” she said, frowning, but soaking in the beautiful environment. “It must’ve been created by an angel…” She trailed off, understanding what Lucifer had done. “Humility…” 
Your tears fell in shock, wide-eyed realization coming to your face as you looked around. It all felt so familiar, so close to home. You thought it was because it reminded you of Earth before it changed, but there was a reason it helped you feel connected again; every flower you ever said you missed, every animal you ever treasured or showed to him, even the pond that two ducks circled. He recreated it all. 
You shook your head, looking down at your hands as a cloud of golden dust created a beautiful lily in them. The very same flower you shut him out for. Looking at it now, it was one of the most beautiful flowers you’d ever created. Poisonous or not, it stood out as something you would have loved. 
Sera sighed, peering down at the lily you cradled as if it could take you back in time. She avoided your sad eyes as she looked over your face, pondering the idea that was lingering in her mind. Perhaps you would finally lose faith in him if she did it — perhaps, he would prove that he did care — perhaps… there were too many outcomes that could come from this. 
But she said it anyway. “I’ll give him a chance,” she told you, watching the way your wings lifted as you looked up at her. “If you fail, he will stay in Hell… forever, but I believe you can succeed.”
She told you her test, bringing you to the golden gates and creating the stairwell you would spend days walking down — days, where all hurt feelings washed away the moment you set eyes on him and he looked happy to see you. Days, where you realized he had a ring on his finger. 
You were too late, you thought. He would never come with you, you thought. 
But he did, and you pushed yourself to leave immediately, following every rule until you reached the golden gates of Heaven and stayed with your back to the stairs as you stood in front of them, thinking he hadn’t followed you. 
You took a deep breath before you turned, seeing Lucifer step onto the clouds and feeling your heart race when you realized you made it through Sera’s trial.
He was still, unsure of what he was at liberty to do now that you were back. The adrenaline of seeing you after so long, seeing you so ready to take him home, that allowed him to hold you like he did before, had gone the moment he stepped inside that stairwell and replaced itself with overwhelming doubt that the moment you were back, things would be how they were; doubt, that convinced him he'd already failed. Doubt that convinced him to prepare to see you cry for him again. Doubt that convinced him he'd have to say goodbye—
He didn’t even have time to process your arms going around him, but he recognized the warmth of your wings, secure and tight around him, feeling like home. 
And, God, did he miss it.
His head tucked into your shoulder as his arms hugged your waist, holding so tightly that you had to speak up. “Lucifer…” He held you tighter. You held him close, fingers threading into his hair to soothe him. “I’m not going anywhere—” And you felt his shoulders tense as you reassured him, harsh breath and wetness hitting the crook of your neck before he lifted his head. 
“Forgive me for this later,” he muttered, hand going to your cheek before he leaned in. He didn’t give you time to think before he kissed you, lips urging and eager as a bright, golden warmth washed over you. You could feel Lucifer’s hot tears on your skin as his lips persisted against yours, your hands going to his cheeks to run your thumbs beneath his eyes as you kissed him back. The moment your wings unwrapped from him, he muttered a weak, “no,” and reached his free hand behind you to gently guide your wings back around him as he pressed his lips to yours once again. 
For the brief moment you were apart, you caught a glimpse of a light above you. You pulled back. “Luci—“ His mouth was back on yours before you could finish, but he paused. 
“What did you call me?” He asked hopefully, but you didn’t repeat yourself. Instead, you told him to, “Look,” pointing just above his head. His halo had returned, glowing brighter than ever. 
The glow settled after a moment, Lucifer’s gold and blue, beautiful angelic appearance returning to him for a brief moment as Heaven’s golden gates opened. 
You stepped away from him and he knew the moment was past, fingers grazing his lips as Sera appeared in front of you. 
“Lucifer,” she spoke. “I see you made it back…” She looked between you, then paused when she saw his halo. “I suppose I should listen to you now.” She looked to you, nodding, and you gave Lucifer a gentle smile before flying off as they went in the opposite direction. 
“I didn’t think you would be able to do it,” Sera admitted after a long silence. Lucifer had been looking back at you, watching you leave in the direction of your garden. He looked at her when she spoke up. “I wouldn’t have.”
“If I was leading, I might’ve failed,” he said. “But I had something to prove.”
“And everything to lose, yes.” She nodded with a grimace, looking down at the ring on his finger. “I’m surprised you came.”
“What?” He frowned up at her, then followed her line of sight to the ring on his hand. “Oh…” Sera hummed as he lifted his hand, pulling the ring off. “It’s not what you think.” He handed her the ring and she inspected it, looking at the inscription on the inside of the band. 
Music notes were engraved in the golden ring, and Sera could hear the song in her mind. “I haven’t heard this song in a long time — the Song of Love, isn’t it?” She handed it back, watching him slip it back on his finger. “But before that, it was—“
“It’s Humility’s song,” he said. “I made it a long time ago — when the world stopped needing it to change the seasons,” he admitted, twirling it on his finger. As he did, melodic winds flowed past them and sang the very same song. He stopped, the winds settling. “And for these past years, I wore it so that I might be able to hear it again. Even down there.” Sera pursed her lips, not responding to the admission. “Sera,” he sighed, “I never did anything with Lilith—“ It was her turn to sigh, as she’d heard it before. It was the only thing he fought against in the trial. “—I know how it seems. I know my telling Humility was a confession to being unfaithful, but I never did anything with her, and in the years I had with her, we’ve been nothing but friends. There was a connection, I can admit that, but it was nothing in comparison—” 
Sera laughed, shaking her head. “You should’ve realized that sooner—“
“—and I never acted on it. That was when I told Humility, when I realized — After Lilith told me she loved me, and it meant something different than the love I have for Humility.” Sera quieted, letting him continue. “I can live with Humility never trusting me again — but, Sera, all I ask is that you believe I’m telling the truth.”
Sera was quiet for some time, stopping their walk as she stared at the ring on his finger; just like the lily, it was like it brought him back in time. 
“You should tell Humility,” she decided, her belief would rest on that. Whatever you decided. Lucifer was quick to turn the opposite way. “Lucifer,” she called and he turned. “It was my intention to protect you both, not to plant doubt.” He could hear your voice repeating her warning of abandonment, the hurt and vitriol having replayed in his mind for years. And it finally stopped now. 
“I know,” was all he said before he left, heading straight for your garden. 
He found you there, sitting in front of the pond with the two circling ducks. Lilies floated in the water and sprouted at the bank, vibrant, warning colors surrounding you as you watched the water. 
Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to speak, wishing he could immortalize the beautiful scene as twirled the ring on his finger. Winds blew gently, guiding you to turn your head toward him. You could hear the faint song, a smile coming to your face as he came and sat next to you. 
“There’s something I need to tell you,” he said. 
You shook your head. “Tell me tomorrow… Let’s just enjoy today.” You took a lily from the bank and carefully tucked it into his lapel. “It’s the first day of spring… Come to the Celebration tonight?” There hadn’t been one in years, and he knew it. You were asking him to spend the night with you, just as he’d done so many years ago. 
“I couldn’t miss it.” 
There was a long silence before he placed a zealous, maybe overly so, hand on your cheek. His thumb ran over your skin and he smiled faintly. “I missed you.” You placed your hand over his, turning to kiss the inside of his palm before taking his hand with both of yours. He pulled it gently to his mouth, kissing the back of your hand. “So much.”
And you could feel it. You could feel the truth in his words, and you could feel that there was a truth you didn’t know, one that wasn’t what you dreaded years ago, one that compelled you to twist the ring on his finger and make that symphonic breeze begin to blow as you went to remind him…
But he spoke before you could, taking the opportunity to finally remedy what he’d done as he held your hands to his chest. “I know.” 
And you couldn’t help but smile.
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joshleyson · 2 months
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Life Update + Postcards from Mount Pulag
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If there's one thing I'm particularly proud of that I did this year in the name of self-care, it is using my Apple Watch for what it was designed to do and being mindful of closing my rings on the Fitness App, which includes meeting my Move, Stand, and Exercise requirements for the day.
Last weekend, I went on my first major walk this year, to Mount Pulag in Benguet, the majestic and highest mountain in Luzon. For the first time ever, I was able to set a *drum roll please* record-breaking 42K steps, perhaps more because my watch died in the middle of the climb. It never occurred to me to go on this ALMOST 10-hour hike until J, who by the way was a famous OG Tumblr influencer during the peak Tumblr era circa 2012 (if you know him, mag-asawa ka na hahaha), introduced me to the idea of going to Baguio (I haven’t been to Baguio since forever) and eventually having to explore Mount Pulag after. J and I have known each other for over 12+ years, but it was only this year that we began to see each other more frequently; he is also the person who introduced and challenged me to finish my rings on the Fitness app. I began this "ring" journey at the end of March, but I wasn't fully committed until I started seeing some, hmm, what's the word, "changes" when I started monitoring my InBody results, which show my weight, BMI, muscle mass, and even body fat percentage decreasing. Long story short, I'm making some small progress with trying to make my BMI normal again. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint the typical fitness buff image with raging, strong-looking muscles, because that's not who I am, but I wanted to give myself credit also for losing 10kgs in just 4 months, and I'm not even pulling my hair out about it, just that awareness of "Did I close my rings today?" moment. Like I told J, I never expected accountability to feel this good. So I'm quite delighted with that.
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Enough of the fitness thingee and going back to Mount Pulag, I'm so happy that we were able to pull it off this year. We started by staying in Baguio for 2 days which by the way the weather was THE. BEST. Having to walk around the city in layered clothes without breaking a sweat as a pawisin was HEAVEN. It was something that I missed when I went back to Manila. After 2 days, we headed straight to Kabayan, Benguet, where our homestay was located, and by midnight started our trek to Pulag summit. The trek was surprisingly easy. The quiet and quaint landscapes while on our way to the summit were something that I enjoyed so much. It was tiring and yes, the weather was extremely cold. Miss Hypothermia is REAL especially on the summit but with the right amount of clothing, it's no biggie. Just do a little bit of research before signing up for the hike and you'll be just fine. On that trip, we met and bonded with new faces which I hope soon will become friends because they're nice to be with which made the hike bearable. Being the beach person that I am which is very OBVIOUS on this blogosphere, exploring the mountains and the countryside was very refreshing to see and I kinda wanted to make that commitment to at least do this at least once a year. Let's see!
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(No Light Pollution? Here's the Milky Way captured in the default iPhone camera app.)
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Overall, the Mountain Province trip including late-night walks in Baguio, wandering to places and cafés and bar hopping walking side to side because we’re drunk AF, and then Mount Pulag was something I'm so grateful for that I get to check them out this year. There were "unplanned" and "down" moments on that trip, sure, but I guess that's just normal, especially since I'm with the person I wanted to get to know more, and J, if you're reading this, thank you. I feel like all the things that happened on that trip have a reason and I just wanna say thank you for being…you. I will not be surprised if one day that rough idea of a psycho-thriller slasher movie we kind of created while sitting on a bus will soon come to life. Write that fucking screenplay. PLEASE.
So that's my not-so-quick life update that no one asked about. I think I mentioned before in this space that the more I have something "major" going on with my life whether professional or personal, I am less inclined to talk about it versus in my heyday, loud, teenage years and I think that's what really living is all about. Touch some grass they say, and literally, I did that in the mountains of Mount Pulag, and those memories which I hope I could bottle, and that seeing something so beautiful is enough to remind me that everything's gonna be alright.
Siri, play Gravity by Sara Bareilles, JOSHY
(Mountain Province, July 2024)
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