#havi draws

[kidfoundonstreets]

[scorchrend]

HONESTLY i love love the little flourishes u add to certain designs n interps though small details they add so much 2 the character for me . also thinking abt the details u added to the jester powers and giggling and kicking my feet

AHHHH TYYY!! i generally don't go far from the canon designs but llittle touches here and there go really far in making things feel so unique.. teehee... i esp love dressing the same character up in different outfits and see how different it gets so you can seewhy im having a ball drawing so many sparks LOL

[jax-is-rattled]

Like A Death In The Hall

Wrote this as a fic bc I'm trying to hype myself up for posting more fics. And it gives me practice for writing Copia and the band ghouls interacting with bw bc I'm a cringe ass nae nae baby and I'm mushing them together like a kid playing with dolls. ANYWAY THIS BITCH IS GONNA BE ROUGH SO BUCKLE UP. AND READ THE WARNINGS.

CW// forced "medical procedure"?, suicidal ideation, self harm, body horror, very graphic depictions of said body horror, serious case of the ouchies, whole lotta hurt, self image issues, bws just not having a funky fresh day yall

Just be warned in general

Sister Imperator had told the skittish ghoul that she needed to tell him something very important. That it was about his job as the cardinals assistant. So she called him down to said cardinals office, pulling him from dinner where he sat at the opposite end of the table from the ghouls and into another chair in the dim office.

The other ghouls were still a bit skeptical of him and he was terrified of them. The wound of theirs was still open so they had the right to be angry and skeptical. Scared even. The three older ghouls had most of their other band mates stripped away from them, sent back to the pit or killed presumably, and were forced to adapt to new ghouls. And the current fire ghoul, Dew, wasn't even supposed to be a fire ghoul. Or so he's heard. So when they pulled August from a watery grave only to get a fire ghoul, the band was a bit nervous that Dews time was up as well. That he wasn't good enough to keep and needed replacing like the others.

He thought about it on the way down to the office. It had been almost a year, but he still didn't blame them, not one bit. But it would be nice to just sit down and explain to them that he was just an assistant, nothing more nothing less. They wouldn't have it though. Dew snapped and swung when he'd get too close or talk too loudly or did much with the others really. Mountain refused to acknowledge his existence, would talk around him if he had to talk in the general vicinity of him. The earth ghoul talked to the others perfectly fine, just not him. Aether was sweet, though. Checked up on him and all that jazz, but he seemed like he didn't want to get too close to him. He couldn't blame them but it did sting a bit. The others were kind to him, he vibed pretty well with the water ghoul, Rain. It was relieving that at least someone was ok with him existing in the wing.

He hadn't even realized he was standing infront of the door to the office until someone opened it for him, snapping him out of his thoughts and back to where he was. He shuffled into the musty office, not exactly expecting to see Dew sitting in the chair next to where Sister Imperator was pointing for him to sit. He was wondering why he hadn't seen the ghoul staring daggers into his forehead at the table earlier. Guess this answered his question. The door closed behind him. The way Sistor was looking at him had his hair standing on end. The Cardinal waved happily at him from where he stood next to Sister, so he waved back just as happy, if not a bit confused, as he sat.

"The cardinal doesn't need a fire ghoul as an assistant-" Sister said, rather bluntly as she arranged papers on the desk. August could practically feel his heart fall out his ass at that. "Cool, so why the fuck am I here?" Dew butted in with a huff of annoyance. "If you'd let me continue you'd know." Sister snapped back, "ahem, we don't need a fire ghoul burning important paperwork, but the Cardinal enjoys your company," August visibly relaxed at that.

"So we're changing your element."

He didn't quite understand what that entailed other than the obvious, but the way that Dew sucked all the air out of the room through his teeth and went pale as snow and the Cardinal looked like he had been shot, it wasn't a good thing. "Wh-what uh what are you changing him to, Sister?" The Cardinal sputtered out in a rush.

"Water."

He felt like he was going to puke.

His mind completely turned off. He heard Dew and the Cardinal argue for him but he didn't understand a word. He gleamed a loud 'was I not enough proof that this isn't a good idea?' and a 'he's harmless he can't even keep a flame!' but that was it before he was being dragged out of his chair by the old era ghouls that he hadn't even seen when he walked in. He was too shocked to fight back as he was pulled out the door and it was shut, closing him off from the conversation he didn't even get a word in.

He opened his mouth to plead to them to let him go as they dragged him down the halls, but nothing came out. So he thrashed. He kicked and twisted and snapped and bit but all it got him was a rush of quintessence dragging his mind into a pit of inky black as his body went slack.

He doesn't remember much of the ritual. Brief flashes of red and the smell of fire thay were quickly overtaken by deep indigos and violets. And the smell of lake water. Sharp and cold. The colors and smells were quickly drowned out by the searing pain that zapped through his body before he was out again.

When he woke up in his own room, he felt like he had been struck by lightning. Like someone had cracked him open and taken a hand mixer to all his insides. He felt like he was being rearranged from the inside out. And in all actuality? He was right. He was being rearranged from the inside out. On top of that he was ice cold. His teeth chattered as he tried to pull himself under the blankets he was unceremoniously dropped on. It felt like the hardest thing he's ever done with how little energy he had. He felt like he was dying.

After an hour of trying to warm himself under a blanket and failing, gasping and whimpering through the pain, he remembered the bathroom he had connected to his room through his haze of pain. A searing hot bath felt like the only lifeline he had left. There was a sharp throb under his horns and he practically threw himself off the bed, getting tired and angry over the pain and the cold. As soon as his feet hit the floor he felt like was about to crumble like a kicked sandcastle as an even more intense pain wracked through him from the tip of his horns to the end of his tail. He wiped out his nightstand when he stumbled, gasping as he tried to steady himself on the wall. He continued his struggle to the bathroom as the room spun around him.

"Dying. I'm dying aren't I?" He thought to himself as he slammed the door open and collapsed to the floor. He wanted to die at this point. They should have just killed him and got a new ghoul. His mouth felt like he was chewing on bricks and glass. His teeth hurt. his horns felt like they were about to either fall off or explode. Were his hands always this pale? Fuck he was so cold. He pulled himself up by the edge of the sink. As soon as he saw himself in the mirror he felt like screaming. Crying. Anything to get the anguish out. His skin and the tips of his hair was pale as a sheet and his mouth was dripping with that pitch black blood that pumped through his veins. Those golden honey colored eyes swirled with ice blues. He doesn't know what the fuck was looking back at him in that mirror, but it wasn't him. That's not him. He isn't him anymore.

He wasn't the same fire ghoul the Cardinal loved and grew attached to.

The sharp throb in his horns from earlier came back ten fold, almost knocking him over. And his eyes landed on his horns. They looked weird against his hair and the splitting skin at the base.

Those aren't his anymore either.

They had to go.

He wrapped his hands around one of those beautiful golden horns that he loved so much. And he pulled. He pulled and pulled and when the horn finally snapped off in his hand, the wave of relief almost had him sobbing. But there was one more horn. He repeated with the second one, but it wouldn't budge. He thought about slamming his head onto the porcelain of the sink to break it, but before he could put it into action it finally gave way.

He managed to stumble from the sink to the side of the shower and crank the hot water on as high as it would go. It's the only way he'd take showers normally. He loved how hot the water could get in his room. But as soon as he slipped under the water, still in his clothes, he felt like he was being dissolved in acid. He screamed. That hot water felt like searing hot razors taking him apart down to his bones, flaying him open and laying him out. Skinning him alive. And when he opened his eyes he realized it was. His ash gray skin sloshed off him in thin sheets to reveal soft pale skin and fur. If this didn't kill him he was going to do it himself.

He just wanted to be warm again.

There was a knock on his door and Dews surprisingly quiet lilt drifted under the door but he couldn't understand it. He did the only thing he knew was left. His voice was rough and his throat was raw from screaming, but he managed to call out a single word.

"Help."

[hwajin]

☆°. — opia | hhj; hjs

genre: smut

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader, jisung x fem!reader

wc: 4.1k

warnings: short mention of alcohol, swearing, voyerism, exhibitionism, piv, unprotected sex, coming inside, creampie, cum eating, cumming untouched, dom sub dynamics IF YOU SQUINT, shy hyunjin, shy jisung, (very) mean yn, all three are VERY horny, (kinda) rough sex, messy sex, indirect threesome (?), humiliation and degredation, FILTH everything is very very consensual though!!

author's note: this fic is inspired by mari's (@straywrds) one-shot show me what's under that pillow!! that fic has HAUNTED me (in a very good way) so give it a read you won't regret it!! thanks for the inspiration hehe 🫶

He was obsessed with you. He had been ever since Jisung brought you with him, introducing you as his best friend – he’s heard of you before, Jisung’s feelings for you, which you were utterly and, in terms of your best friend’s sake, hopelessly clueless about a topic not seldom between the two men; though Hyunjin felt dumbfounded. Jisung had mentioned you were pretty, raving about your looks, how you could drive him insane with only a look or a flick of your hair, but Hyunjin hadn’t thought a second longer of it. His friend was in love, expectant to be head over heals for his crush. Hyunjin simply didn’t expect for you to have the same reaction on him. For his stomach to flip whenever you visited, for his eyes to search for you when he should be watching the movie the three of you picked to go along with beer and snacks. For his heart to palpitate and then miss a beat when your fingers brushed against his when grabbing for the bowl of chips absentmindedly and at the same time, for his face to change multiple shades of colour when locking eyes with you, grateful for the dim lights of the TV to camouflage his embarrassment.

Hyunjin didn’t know if you were doing it on purpose. If you shot him glances and touched his shoulders as often as you did to show interest, or if it was simply your persona. He wouldn’t act on it, nevertheless – you were Jisung’s crush, and the roommate situation surely wouldn’t become more pleasant if Hyunjin happened to start dating you. If you had an interest in him, in the first place. It could be wishful thinking, hallucination on his part after all.

You were spread out on the sofa beneath him, the leather a stained, wettened mess, your body no better. Covered in sweat and white, in marks and bites, sundress slanting off your shoulders, bunched up by your hips. Maybe it wasn’t hallucination after all, Hyunjin thought, as he pounded into you, nearly painfully so, you and him both strained, overstimulated, exhausted if anything. He wasn’t quite sure how your body ended up underneath his own, how you had found yourself on his lap before grinding onto his erection with hips of water, rolling to shoot him into orbit, how your lips had clashed against his in a kiss so heated it knocked Hyunjin of any coherent thought. Maybe your lips, the kiss, your hips and body were the reason he couldn’t quite remember, couldn’t quite make sense of the fact you seemed as obsessed with him now as he was with you – moaning his name for his neighbours to hear, clinging onto his shoulders with nails digging into his skin, close to draw blood, pulling him closer to bite at his neck, nibble at the spot you found with ease, licking to ease the sting. He complied to you entirely, fully under your mercy – he was as though a toy under your control, dumb and pathetic and drunk on you, intoxicated and he didn’t care, didn’t want it any other way.

Hyunjin didn’t know if part of your excitement, of the volume of your sounds of pleasure was a product of Jisung sleeping in his room down the hall. If he was sleeping – Hyunjin wouldn’t be surprised if the two of you kept him from closing an eye. And you didn’t seem to mind it, didn’t seem shy about it; seemed to like it, on the contrary. Maybe that was your thing. Maybe you liked the attention, liked having two men head over heels for you – maybe all your touching and looking and flirting was exactly what Hyunjin interpreted it as, and maybe you enjoyed every bit of it. And Hyunjin’d lie saying he didn’t. Not sure if that was your thing – driving both him and Jisung insane, fucking Hyunjin in the living room and being everything but discreet about it, igniting jealousy in both men simply for the fun of it, for your own twisted enjoyment – but Hyunjin loved being a character in this game you knitted. Loved the pride he felt in his chest at the awareness of his current position, enjoyed the sting in his heart at the unknowing if maybe you had fucked Jisung on this very couch already, if you had touched him the way you touched Hyunjin, if you made your best friend feel as good as you made Hyunjin feel. He liked the power you had over him, liked even the bitter spite he held against you for pulling him under your trance, for making him despite Jisung just a little bit. It was a game of the mind, and Hyunjin’s was under your control.

Shuffling from somewhere behind your bodies, and Hyunjin stopped in his movements, halting deep within you, locking eyes big as a deer’s caught in headlights. You noticed his change in demeanour, aware now of the sounds down the hall yourself – and Hyunjin nearly busted at the way you smirked up at him, face knowing, flushed and red and sweaty and written all over with pure mischief, sinful, filthy excitement.

“Sounds like we have a visitor.”

Your eyes glowing in the dim of the room, the static of the TV only light illuminating your agitated features – you did like it. Liked not only the attention but the desperation, the utter patheticness of both men you managed to bound under your spell, liked the carnal touch to it all. And it made Hyunjin fall for you even deeper, made his heart sting in obsession, made his gut turn in want for you.

You shifted in your place, sitting up against the armrest of the sofa; Hyunjin slipped out of you in the process, leaving him naked and leaking onto the leather and you didn’t seem to pay him any mind, focused entirely on Jisung, presumably – yet out of Hyunjin’s vision though he knew his friend was standing in the dark of the hall still, unsure, anxious almost of the possible right thing to do. Not that there was anything right to do, not in this situation, surely.

Hyunjin turned his head, bent over your body still, knees dug into soft cushion, hands on either side of you, shirt hanging messily around his torso. It was surely a sight to see, and judging by Jisung’s face, barely visible in the dark, more so than he thought – the man’s eyes big, mouth agape, an expression of neediness and fear painted onto his visage. The tent in his grey sweats was undeniable and embarrassment struck Hyunjin’s body; that was his friend behind him, watching him bent over his crush, having listened to filthy antics before he decided to come over. Embarrassment, though Hyunjin shouldn’t feel the same amount excitement bubbling and brewing in the pit of his stomach. Maybe he was no better than you. Maybe he liked every bit of it as much as you did, more so, enjoyed the carnality much more than would be seen fit. Because his body jolted when Jisung shifted from one leg to another, nervously, unknowing, his heart pumped more blood into his cock when he felt you shift yet again beneath him, when your voice sounded in his ears.

“What, you wanna just stand there? C’mon, don’t be shy.”

Hyunjin wouldn’t quite know what to do following your words so he couldn’t judge Jisung for still standing in his place dumbfounded, eyes wandering from you to Hyunjin, almost frantically, and Hyunjin’s cock twitched against you, leaking more precum which he couldn’t be much embarrassed about. Not at this point, not when the three of you had already agreed on the same thing, if not out loud – all of you enjoyed it the same amount, the humiliation, the embarrassment, the sting of jealousy, the want. And yet Jisung didn’t move, stood in his place, as though waiting for further instructions – a dumb puppet under your control.

“C’mon, sit down.”

Your head showed towards the armchair across from the sofa you and Hyunjin made a mess on, and only then Jisung dared to walk, clammily and tripping over his own feet, hurrying to sit down in the deep leather of the furniture. He adjusted his pants – if to hide his erection or to ease him off its’ tension Hyunjin didn’t know, but either way there was something about his friend’s demeanour, shy and nervous and utterly helpless, that he enjoyed watching. He must be entirely damaged.

You huffed out amusement, and Hyunjin’s eyes found yours again – burning with lust, desire, eating up Jisung with as much as a gaze; he couldn’t stand you looking at his friend that way. He wanted to be the only one you ate alive with glances and touches, with words so vulgar yet sugar-coated in sweetest honey to illude innocence. And yet, he remembered – Jisung was the one watching your bodies on top of each other, entangled and mark-stained. It was Hyunjin who planted bites and kisses onto your skin, his cum leaking onto your thighs, his handprints grazing your hips and waist – and Jisung was left to look.

“Have you heard us, hm? If I’m quite honest… that’s what we aimed for.”

Your last words a seductive whisper, paired with mischievous smirk, a questioning look towards Hyunjin, as though asking for confirmation. He could only look at the man in the armchair, not nodding, nor emitting any sound of agreement – he could only stare, another dumb puppet under your control. Yet Jisung understood, shifted in his seat; hopeful maybe to be invited, body urging towards your bodies.

“Now that you’re here… how about you watch Hyunjin fuck me real nice, yeah? No touching either of us… just watch.”

Hyunjin’s dick twitched against you, the look on his friend’s face changed now. Something close to disappointment laying within, disbelief, maybe. It surely wasn’t the outcome he’d hoped for – and yet he nodded, sat back in the armchair, cock straining his sweats, hands laying clammy in his lap. He was pathetic, looked the part and Hyunjin wondered the second time tonight when he’d become so twisted – when he’d start enjoying whatever this situation was fit to be called, when you had taken over his mind’s every corner, when the sheer imagination of his friends watching him in sinful act wasn’t a thought embarrassing but something he started leaking at. His tip was an angry red by now, starving in untouched forgottenness – he urged to be inside you again, urged to feel you around wrapped around him warm and wet.

“What are you waiting for?”

Your voice a set back to reality and Hyunjin’s eyes wandered from Jisung to you, and he realized it was him who you were addressing – a smile knowing on your features, your fingers caressing your own body, pinching at your nipple and moving down, bunching up sundress and pulling it further up your hips, scooping up pooled wetness and dragging it up your slit, circling at your clit for moments that held Hyunjin captivated. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, entranced by every of your movement – he couldn’t quite believe his luck, still, and he almost cringed at his own fluster, as though a teen experiencing first intimacy.

Your slick-covered fingers parted from your slit and Hyunjin followed every of their movement up until you lay them upon his mouth, granting a nip of sweet nectar and Hyunjin gladly did, lips wrapping around your digits and sucking, as though presented with a sip of water after days of thirst. He lapped up your wetness, eyes on your own, barely even blinking – if he kept remembering Jisung was watching, maybe with a hand down his pants already he’d come in an instant so he refrained, focusing on you entirely instead.

“Give Jisung a good show.”

He was deep within you without hesitation. Wouldn’t dare to wait after you gave him permission, command, and he heard Jisung sharpen his breath. He couldn’t blame him – your head fell back right when Hyunjin bottomed out, your breast moving with you in motion of waves, bouncing up and down and falling to your sides, a mess of a body, Hyunjin atop it. Slick against slick emitted sounds embarrassing, mixing with the ones of your moans, your sighs and pleads – you were enjoying yourself, thoroughly, and Hyunjin hated to admit more so than you did when Jisung was absent. Your hips were rolling against his own, violent almost, vigorously, your fingers were digging into his shoulders, touching all over his body, pulling at the hem of his shirt – he got the hint, stopped in his movements only shortly to throw off the cloth, discarding it to somewhere on the floor, carelessly. He couldn’t help but give Jisung a glance – the boy was sunken into the brown leather of the armchair, hand only palming his erection as though shy to take real action and Hyunjin nearly smirked at the sight. His friend blushed deeply upon noticing Hyunjin staring at him, eyes growing big, body stiffening – it didn’t go unnoticed by the older man and he focused back on you instead, embarrassed, lust ignited.

He breathed against you, big, sweaty hands back on your hips, taking you in before he continued moving, letting his eyes wander over your body before he pistoled inside you again, thrusts deep and hard, having found you preferred them this way. You were shameless, legs wrapping around Hyunjin’s torso, hands as though struggling to find a place on his body – touching all over his back, grasping at his shoulders, scratching down his sides, long nails leaving angry red. And Hyunjin enjoyed the sting it left. Liked to imagine seeing your marks the next morning, love bites and scratches and imprints of your body on his own; evidence it’s been real, confirmation tonight hasn’t been a dream fabricated by the depths of his mind. His eyes closed, his movements concentrated – if he kept looking at you any longer he wouldn’t last, not with the way your neck glistened in the static of the TV, not with the way your eyes were shut tight, not with the way your chest heaved up and down, so close to his own, as sweat-covered and wet. He’d lose it all, knowing his friend watched him, knowing he enjoyed it as much as Hyunjin himself did, knowing you basked in it more than either of them – he wanted to feel you more, longer, better so he kept it together, despite his dick twitching and jolting and leaking like it has never before.

“L-look… he’s too cowardly to even touch himself, f-fucking pathetic.”

Hyunjin almost didn’t want to look – he knew he’d explode if he did, but the temptation was too sweet for him to resist after all; you sounded so excited, so into it that he had no choice but turn his head and look the same direction you were looking, two pairs of eyes on a shuddering boy, cheeks flushed, chest heaving, gaze glued onto you and Hyunjin – Jisung couldn’t help but keep looking, endlessly and without once turning his eyes. He hated how much he enjoyed it, hated that it wasn’t him above you but liked seeing his friends fuck you despite, right before his eyes and with so much vigour it turned his entire world upside down. He liked that he hated it, liked the embarrassment, liked Hyunjin’s gaze on him, your eyes boring into his own ones. He liked being the centre of attention and yet seemingly forgotten, left to watch and forbidden to touch – Jisung had simply not known that said forbiddance did not indicate touching himself, so now left the subject of amusement, further humiliation.

“You’re blushing? You are a coward though, aren’t you? Couldn’t even confess your little feelings for me, y-yeah? Don’t look at me like that, I know you’ve liked me since forever, you’re not really subtle about it.”

Jisung’s eyes had doubled in size at your words – Hyunjin hadn’t seen you and him together all too often, but he wouldn’t be surprised if your words held truth in them. Jisung was hopeless, a bad liar and all too clingy if in love, and you were everything but dumb; you must have figured it out early on, hence, Hyunjin thought, the utter confidence you held, knowing to have him under your mercy. Having known he would come crawling down the hall if you only moaned loud enough, having known that Jisung was as obsessed with you as Hyunjin – you simply needed to make a move at the older man to confirm his crush – if it was one, mere sexual attraction maybe, or a crush after all, Hyunjin wasn’t quite sure himself – and yet you had figured him out. Him and Jisung. And both of them let you, wrapping further and further around your finger.

Your legs tightened around Hyunjin’s torso, pulling him deeper in, eliciting a deep groan out of him in unexpectedness. You urged him to move again and he complied, back at slow thrusting – though you were paying him no mind. Your eyes stayed yet fixated on Jisung, watching him struggle in his seat, small against the armchair’s frame; and you huffed out when the man’s hand slowly inched towards his erection, one finger and then a second under the waistband, high-pitched squeal leaving his throat, blushing deeply, hand groping his hard-on – and you laughed. A laugh degrading, humiliating, and Jisung stopped in his tracks.

“Now, don’t go on touching yourself now. You’ve held it until now, you can hold it a little more, no? Or are you too needy, huh? Are you too horny to sit it out a bit longer? Are you that pathetic?”

Hyunjin couldn’t hold it any longer. Your voice drunk on pleasure, words sultry and thick, setting off a deep fire within him, a heat sheer unbearable; your walls yet around him, pulsating, clenching with every of your word, with the movement of your body; your hands clinging onto his body, marking him up but never enough and he’d always want more; your legs pulling him deep and deeper and even more, until he felt as though in your stomach, within you entirely, having consumed him, having eaten him alive; and he shot white without much friction, almost embarrassing but he didn’t care. Couldn’t when release has never felt so sweet, so relieving. You had edged him for seeming hours prior, cock close to hurting, having strained against his body, against your insides in angry pulsations, in needy twitching. He came in moaned curses, deep groans and deeper grunts spurting past his lips. His abdomen tightened above you, veined and tense, his head hanging lose, his eyes shut tight.

Only after Hyunjin calmed down embarrassment struck his body, nestled in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t dare look at you, let alone Jisung; he held his head hung low, panting for oxygen, for any reaction out of you – and his heart pounded against his ribs as you laughed once more, similar to prior, and the humiliation spread like wildfire through Hyunjin’s body; and he grew hard again, cock overstimulated yet already urging for touch, urging for more.

“Fuck, you’re just as pathetic, aren’t you? I thought you were more durable than Ji at least.”

You tsked and Hyunjin grew harder, hungrier for you, more lustful. He wanted you around him again, him beneath you this time, or him behind you, or his head between your thighs, or your mouth around his cock. He wanted you in every way it was imaginably possible, and he wanted Jisung to watch it all. Wanted him to keep struggling in his seat, wanted him unable to act, unable to touch, unable to please and be the subject of your pleasure.

You freed yourself from underneath Hyunjin, standing next to the sofa, seemingly contemplating next act, next sin. And Hyunjin could pinpoint the very moment ideas had flooded your mind. Your eyes darkened knowingly, subtle smirk planted on flushed visage. You gave both men a quick look before making your way to the armrest by Hyunjin’s feet, dress falling in a mess around your body and you didn’t mind to fixing it. You straddled the hard cushion, seemingly careless of the of Hyunjin’s semen oozing out of you and onto the leather, mixing with your own juices; and then you started grinding. Bunching up your sundress in your fist, arching your back to make sure and give best possible view, hips going forth and back, your breasts with them. The brown leather underneath you painted white, messy and wet and your thighs were the same and you kept grinding your pussy against the sofa, back and forth and back again, one hand by your hips, the other groping your chest, pinching a nipple. You were enjoying yourself yet your eyes weren’t closed, alternating to lay on Hyunjin and Jisung, making sure they watched, making sure you were the only thing they watched. You liked the eyes on you, liked two pairs of eyes on you, liked hungry and lustful and desperate and longing eyes on you – and neither of them dared to touch themselves, and you liked the control, the power, the obedience they both carried for you as though natural.

You moaned and sighed and breathed and heaved and your hips moved faster and faster, and your volume grew louder and louder with every bite of Hyunjin’s lips, with every gulp of Jisung’s throat and you came undone, wetting the armrest some more, making a bigger mess out of it than it was already. You rode out your orgasm, head lulling back, satisfied chuckle leaving your lips. Your eyes found Hyunjin’s, laid there a while before moving onto Jisung – and a smirk so malicious crept onto your mouth that the younger man tensed in his seat, back straightened and cock pulsating in it’s confines.

“Lick it up.”

You stood from your spot while both men shot you gazes of bewilderment, then looked at each other, then locked eyes with your body again. You stood next to the armrest as casually as though your request was equal to ask Jisung to bring you a glass of water, eyes expectant on his own, waiting, patient. The pool of clear and white liquid next to you on the leather – Hyunjin would lie he’d hesitate putting your words into action, denying your order. He was caught deep within you, hopeless and without returning, and no act was sinful to commit. He would without a second thought – and his friend was seemingly the same. Getting up from his seat, nervous and clammy as before, clumsy as he tripped over the edge of the carpet, falling to his knees all to quick, thumbing against the floor, looking up at you like a puppy lost. A nod from you towards the armrest, “C’mon, what are you waiting for… you wanted to be a part of this, didn’t you? You wanted to fuck me the way Hyunjin did, wanted to touch me, to taste me, no? Do it then… lick it up.”

Last words a mere whisper, though not threating, without menace. As though genuinely asking, giving him the option to back out – though Jisung would be insane to, and Hyunjin wouldn’t either in his position. The younger man shifted forward with a moan, erection straining against his sweats painfully by now, surely; his head lowered, his tongue darted out and he gave the leather a lick, lapping up mixed up juices with a groan so deep it made Hyunjin twitch in his lap, made his hips shudder in their place. Jisung’s eyes were closed, his hips grinding into nothing absentmindedly – his mouth was almost sucking at the cushion, pathetic and embarrassing though he didn’t seem the part, too eager, too lost in your taste, in Hyunjin’s mixed within. His tongue licking and licking though the leather seemed perfectly clean by now, his hips bucking into yet nothingness until he elicited a moan, deep and carnal and staggered, breath quickening, mimicking Hyunjin’s own. You shot the older male a glance, a smirk; and he returned it, watching Jisung wet his pants in sticky cum, entirely untouched, fully clothed. Hyunjin was palming himself, lost in the moment, watching you inch closer to the man kneeling, watching you take him by his hair, watching you hovering above him, cunt so close to his face Hyunjin was sure he could smell you. Your thighs were glistening, your face was flushed, your body was oozing confidence – you were intoxicating, addicting.

“Fuck, you really are pathetic, huh? How about you sit back in your armchair and watch Hyunjin and me some more… maybe you’ll deserve to have a go with me as well.”

@es-kay-zee @jeyelleohe @angelwonie @yvniek4ng @ppiri-bahng @bintificreads @svintsandghosts @llunapastell @sensitiveandhungry @minniesvenus @junebug032 @noellllslut @felixinameadowandthesuniswarm @unexceptional-h @like-a-diamondinthesky @katsukis1wife

[desswright29]

Come Find Me

Word Count: 4,3k

Contains: ANGST!, Fluff, Cheating, Mind control, Sexual Content (18+), Heartbreak

A/n: Sorry this took so long. I had a lot going on. Whew! But here we are and I hope you guys enjoy the ANGST!

I've seen this place before

A color blinded senseless sight to see

And when it rains, only rains on me

Memories. These memories where the fuck were they coming from? They swirl around her head like a tornado. Constantly causing her variance. The memories all with Rianna, felt so existent, so tangible. It wasn’t a daydream. They were memories, they were there right in her head. But she didn’t remember making them. It was driving her towards insanity. She was always inside her head trying to figure it out and lately she’d seemed aloof. Unaware of things going on around her. What is wrong with me. Something isnt right.

“Shuri!” Shuri jumped at the sound of her name being yelled suddenly snapping back to reality. Where she sat on her thrown, surrounded by the elders and Dora Milaje.

“Are you here with us your highness or is there something more important than the topic we’re discussing?” Shuri looked around the throne room as everyone stared into her. Okoye, Ayo, and Aneeka with concern etched in their faces.  

She cleared her throat, tugging on the jacket of her suit. “I-I apologize. I am not feeling well today. The safety of our country is always a priority for me. The barriers are consistently checked and reinforced. There is no threat to Wakanda’s safety at the moment. Now if you don’t mind I would like to wrap this up. Thank you all for your dedication. This meeting is adjourned.” Shuri stands and everyone follows with a salute. Shuri returns the gesture as she strolls out of the throne room. Okoye, Ayo, and Aneeka close behind. 

“Ikumkazi wam? Is everything ok. You’ve been a bit out of sorts lately.” Aneeka spoke up. This had not been an isolated event. Shuri zoning out had become a consistent thing and it was raising concern. “Uh. Yea of course I’m fine. Just a bit tired lately.” Shuri deflected.

“Well maybe you and you’re wife should slow down with all of your congicals. That would probably save the majority of both of your energy.” Okoye added with a sly smile, eyebrow raised high. Shuri can’t help but smile at the mention of your name. She let’s out a sarcastic “Ah ha. Actually, that might be exactly what I need” She smirked. “I should probably go get fed. That’ll boost my energy. I have to get all of my nourishment.” She winked. And Okoye scrunched her face in disgust. “That is disgusting Shuri! Keep your nuptials to yourself!” It was pointless Shuri was already bouncing down the hall happily, in the direction of her wife.

So what can I say but I'm hoping

The hour will still turn to golden

We will see the sun as it's supposed to be

Shining straight through to you and me

You pace outside of the bathroom door wringing your hands together nervously. Tolu sat on the bench infront of your and Shuri’s bed quietly watching you drive yourself into a nervous break down. “Ok Y/n.” Tolu stands and walks over to you grabbing your hand in hers. “You’re making me dizzy. You have to stop. Come on take a deep breath with me.” You stop staring into Tolu’s eyes, taking a deep shakey breath along with her. “One more” You both repeat. “Okay girl! It’s time. I’m right here with you. Do you want me to check it or would you like to do the honors.”

“Can you do it? I don’t think I can. I’m a wreck right now.” Tolu smiles and walks into the bathroom. Your mind races as you sit on the bed. Heart racing and palms sweaty fidgeting with your fingers. Tolu emerged from the bathroom and your eyes immediately draw to the white stick in her hand. Leaning against the frame of the door she gives you an almost unreadable expression until she couldn’t control the twitch in her lips. “Congratulations Umama. You’re having a babyyyy!!” Tears welled in her eyes a broad smile covering her face. Your eyes grew wide. Your hands mindlessly landing on your tummy, a choked gasp releasing itself from your chest. You stand, hurriedly brushing past Tolu heading to the bathroom counter, staring down at the other two test, both reading pregnant as plain as day. Turning back around to your friend tears quickly began to flow down your face. She rushes to you holding you in her arms. “It’s happening y/n! It’s real girl.” 

Leading you over to the bed, sitting holding eachother as you cry tears of joy. “Lu, I can’t believe it worked! I-I really have a peice of Shuri growing inside of me! And we’re both women! How could I not be in love with this woman she’s fucking brilliant!” You pull away as both of you fall into laughter. Tolu giving a playful roll of her eyes. “She’s alright I guess.” You giggle knowing neither Tolu nor Shuri would ever give eachother that much credit. “We’re going to be mommies Lu! Oh Bast! What if we’re terrible parents!” Tolu scoffs.

“Ah ah! Stop there and be realistic. There are no two people on the planet more qualified than the two of you to be parents. You both have been through hell and fought for this moment. You’re deserving of this and you’re going to enjoy it! No negativity. This is a happy time.” You sniff and nod in agreement. “I love you, girl. You’re the best friend a girl could have.” 

“I love your crazy ass too” You both laugh embracing eachother once again. Pulling away you wipe the stray tears from your face. “Now I just have to figure out a special way to tell her!” You clap happily, excited for this new begining. As if on cue, you both hear the front door of the house open and close and turn to eachother in a panic. “Oh shit! She’s home. She can’t know yet!” You yell in a whisper. Both of you hop from the bed and rush into the bathroom to get the pregnancy tests. Trying to move around eachother getting flustered and whispering in hushed panicked tones “I have to throw them away.” 

“No! She’ll see them in the trash!”

“I’ll wrap them up. Duh!” You grab the tissue and began wrapping the test. “Still you can’t put them in the trash! Give them to me I’ll put them in my purse. Hurry up!” Running back into the room you both plop on the bed Tolu snatching her purse off the night stand and stuffing the test in her purse just in time for Shuri to walk in the room, with you and Lu putting on your best normal poses. She walked through the door to see you with Tolu and her face scrunched in faux disgust. She smacked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “Ew. I knew I smelled you. I thought Y/n was making oxtail.” She said entering the room, shutting the door behind her. Tolu looked over at her mirroring her expression, unamused.

“Funny. Since those Panther senses pick up my scent so well. Why didn’t they pick up on those pits you musty bit-“ You pop her arm before she could get it out.

“Don’t start that shit. Be nice today.” Shuri turns her lip up at Tolu as she walks over to peck you on the lips and Lu rolls her eyes. 

“She started with me first, but Aaaanyway, I was just getting ready to head out.” She stands clutching her purse as though she held the worlds most precious jewels. 

“Best news I’ve got all day.” Shuri smirked at her. “Shuri you can kiss my ass and meow at the hole.” Shuri wrapped an arm around her stomach and brought her hand to her mouth pretending she would vomit. “Yeaaaa get that hairball outta there feline. I’m sure it’s building up from all the pussy you eat around here.” Shuri smiles and licks her lips as she nods. “True, True” Tolu’s face distorted into an amused grimace. “Ugh!”

“Now how the hell did I catch a stray in the middle of y’all beef. I stay waxed.” You butt in.

“It gets a lil fuzzy sometimes babe but I like it! Adds a little texture.” Your mouth drops open and your face contorts as all of you burst into laughter. Tolu wraps an arm around Shuri’s torso in a hug and Shuri kisses the top of her head. “I’m headed out weirdos. Love you guys.” 

“Love you too.” You both call after her as she heads out.

“The two of you are going to be the death of me.” Shuri chuckles slightly as her arms wrap around your waist. You look up into those beautiful dark eyes and you see sadness lingering in the depths. “Baby what’s wrong?” The concern in your voice apparent as you place a hand on her face. “You’ve seemed a tad off lately is my love overwhelmed?” You began placing soft kisses on the line of her chiseled jaw. “Not entirely. I’m happy sweet girl. The happiest I’ve been in a long time. I just .. something feels off. I haven’t felt completely like myself. I don’t know. Maybe, I’m just a little stressed.” 

“What’s going on? What’s got you stressed? Riri isn’t giving you any issues is she because  she’s over due being sent home really.” Shuri smirks. “Anything to bring up getting rid of her before time huh love. She’s due home in a couple of days babe. You don’t stress yourself about that. She’s been straight as an arrow these last few weeks. We’re good mfazi. And I don’t need you stressing out my little seeds.” She bent down speaking to your belly. “Isn’t that right.” She placed a kiss to your tummy and stood back to her full height. “I’m not stressing over that bitch. I just don’t want her here anymore. I don’t care how unproblematic she’s being, I know she wants you.” 

“Ok sthandwa, that maybe so. But I want you. Only you. So none of that matters.” She tilts your head upwards with her pointer finger. And you melt into her touch. 

“You’re right. And we were talking about what was bothering you any way.”

“It doesn’t matter baby, I’m here now.” She kisses your neck. “And I know exactly how you can make me feel much much better.” She gave a bite and suck right underneath your jaw. “Mm. Oh really?” You felt her nod against your neck as she place her hands on your im waist slowly backing you up against a wall. “Mhmm”

“You don’t get enough of me daddy?” You giggle seductively. Pulling back, her eyes lower following every curve of your body. She bends and takes hold of the back of your knees lifting you and pressing you into the wall. “Never” You responded with a hum wrapping your legs around her waist. “You know I love you more than anything right. I promise you I’ll forever give you my all. I’m not perfect but I’ll do my best at it for you. Promise me you won’t ever give up on me my love. That we’ll always be this way no matter what.” Your hands massage the nape of her neck as you bring your foreheads together. “I promise sthandwa.”

I don't understand why you blame me

Just take me as I am, it's the same me

We should be together

So tell me where you go when you know better

“I PrOmiSe SthAnDwA! Oh please! Let’s cut this shit short. Stark activate the atoms send Shuri to the lab.” 

Riri demanded annoyed by your and Shuri’s interaction. “Sure thing kiddo”. Turning off her beads She stood from her bed making her way to make her way to the empty lab. It had been closed for the day to give the lab staff a much needed break. And Riri was going to use that to her advantage. The memories weren’t working. Allowing her to remember their rendezvous hadn’t been enough to make her fall in love with Riri without the use of the atoms. She treated those memories like annoying nats floating around her head. And as soon as Riri would deactivate the atoms she went crawling right back to her precious little wife. Obviously the basis of her experiment worked flawlessly. Her time with Shuri with the atoms had been delicious. Sensual and erotic. But she needed Shuri to love her. She couldn’t possibly control her mind forever without causing damage which is the only reason she didn’t keep the atoms activated at all times. Time was limited. Now was the time to tip the scales in her favor..

Shortly after entering the lab Riri felt strong arms circle her waist, a firm body pressing up against her back as a nose tickled her cheek. “Hello my love.” Riri smiled biting her lip and turning around in Shuri’s arms where she belonged. “Baby!” Her arms circled Shuri’s neck as she brought her down into a kiss. “I was missing you and these lips.” Shuri whispered against her mouth. “Never as much as I’ve missed you.” Shuri shook her head. “I beg to differ.”

“Oh really? Why don’t you show me joy much you’ve missed me then Panther.” A smirk rose on Shuri’s face as she lowered herself back onto Riri’s lips kissing her hungrily, while walking her backwards into one of the lab tables. Her hands went under Ri’s shirt carressing the soft skin of her abdomen sending shivers down her spine. 

“I love the way you touch me Shuri.” Ri whispers as her eyes closed savoring the feeling. “Not as much as I love touching you.” All of a sudden Ri was being lifted onto the lab table. She slid the jacket of Shuri’s suit from her shoulders revealing her bra. Tugging on the center of the bra she released one of Shuri’s breast instantly attaching herself to her nipple. Shuri threw her head back in ecstasy reaching to remove Riri’s shirt. Riri unattached herself from Shuri for a second to allow her to remove her shirt as she unhooked Shuri’s bra. Shuri began unbuttoning Ri’s pants as she lifted allowing Shuri to remove her panties along with her bottoms as Ri reciprocated. They were both now completely naked as Shuri straddled Riri’s thigh. Riri moved closer to the edge of the table lining her core up to Shuri’s thigh and they both began to move against one another. Shuri’s arms were on either side of Ri keeping them both balanced as she panted in Riri’s ear while they both used eachothers thighs to get off. 

“Sss mmm, Ri you feel so good against me.” Shuri moaned her breath tickling Riri’s neck. Riri’s hips bucked harder against Shuri her arms wrapped tightly around Shuri’s neck as she cried out. “Yes! T-Tell me h-how gooood I make you feel. Oh God!”

“S-so good! S-so f-fucking good!” Riri’s eyes fluttered open briefly, before snapping back open to see a blurry figure standing at the entrance of the lab. With a few blinks clearing the tears from her eyes, the figure took form into you. Ooohh this was deliciously perfect!! Riri almost came from sheer excitement! She took the moment to unwrap her right arm from around Shuri’s neck placing her hand at Shuri’s entrance. She slowly added  her ring and pointer fingers inside of her while pressing her palm into her sensitive bud as Shuri rocked harder onto her. “Oh fuck Ri! Just like that! I’m gonna cum!” 

“Yea baby cum for me. I’m gonna cum with you! Say my name when you cum for me. Let everybody know who’s pussy this is.” Ri panted into Shuri’s neck as both of their bodies began to shake both on the edge of their release. Knowing that you were watching as Shuri’s body quaked against hers, and that soon she would have Shuri to herself made Riri’s orgasam come quick and heavy along with Shuri. Her Juices pouring over her hand onto her thigh. Ri opened her eyes looking over Shuri’s shoulder as they both caught their breath, fully prepared for conflict. But you were  gone. What the fuck! Had she imagined it all. 

I love holding you, touching you

'Cause you help me deal with the pains

So how could you turn into

The demons you

Once said that you'd keep away?

“AAAARRRGGH!!” You scream as you remove the large wedding photo from the entrance of your home smashing it into the ground. You walked through your home destroying any semblance of your relationship with Shuri. Tears streaming down your face. Releasing agonizing screams. You’d trusted her. Fell for her lies. She was one hell of an actress. Making you believe she really loved you and the whole time she was fucking that BITCH! So that’s why she wouldn’t send her home! You start to feel faint from the stress. Heading to the nearest wall you balance yourself. Remembering your baby you wrap an arm around your tummy placing your back against the wall sliding to the floor. 

“Why Shuri? Whyyyyyy?” The last why escaping your throat in a shaky whimper. You look around at the damage you’d caused. It reinforced the pain you felt inside. And for the first time ever you no longer wanted to be there. 

“You hungry baby. We should probably get some food after that workout.” Shuri looked at Riri in all her naked glory still sitting on the lab table watching Shuri get dressed. She contemplated deactivating the atoms and sending Shuri back to you to be sure she wasn’t loosing her mind. “You ok Ri baby?” Concern etched itself in Shuri’s face as she walked over to her placing her hands on her naked thighs. Riri placed both hands on Shuri’s cheeks looking her in the eyes. 

“I’m so in love with you Shuri and I’ll do anything for you. You’re the best thing to ever happened to me.” Her eyes began to mist and Shuri captured her lips. 

“Heyyy, Hey beautiful don’t cry. I hate to see you cry.” Her voice soft and comforting. Riri smiled. “They’re happy tears. Because I have a feeling that after today no one will be in our way.”

“No one could ever be in our way. Because I love you.” Ri planted another kiss on Shuri before standing and gathering her clothes to put them back on. Once her clothes were back on she walked over and embraced Shuri.

“Soon that will be true.” She let go and with the press of a button Shuri was back to normal.

“Ms. Williams, why are you still in the lab. Go explore. Or get some rest. Relax for once. I’m going to spend some time with my wife.”

“I was just running in to grab something. I’m headed out now. I hope you and y/n have a wonderful day. I’ll see you later.” With that she walks out of the lab.

I'm in my feelings, I'm tired, I'm bleeding

I'm nothing, I'm choking without you

I become weak from the mountains

I'll scream 'til the morning wraps me back around you

Where the colors of your mind will turn around

And so will you too

Oh, no, no, no, don't let it go

Shuri walked out out of the lab. Heading home with a bounce in her step ready to curl up and relax with her wife. Once she reached the Queens wing her heart dropped as she noticed the commotion. Dora and staff scurried in and out of her home. Her face scrunched in confusion as she watched them remove things from inside. Your things. 

“You can just take that one down to my car.” Tolu walked out giving directions, when she spoted Shuri looking lost. 

“What’s going on Lu? Why are y/n’s things being taken.” Tolu walks up with one arm held out as Shuri proceeds forward “Shuri. I think it’s best you stay out here until she leaves.” Tolu placed a had in the center of Shuri’s chest attempting to push her backwards. 

“Leave? Leave where? Wh-what game are you two playing? Stop.” Shuri’s heart began to race.

“This is not a game Shuri. She’s not talking. I don’t know what you did. But you fucked up.” Shuri looked past Tolu towards the entrance to her home. Quickly she side stepped Tolu and made her way towards the door. 

“STOP! EVERYONE STOP! Put her things down now!” Everyone stopped looking at eachother confused on what to do. Stepping inside the first thing Shuri noticed was the wedding photo in peices on the floor. Her breathing became short and choppy as she looked around her living room. What the fuck was going on? Where were you? She hastily ran into the bedroom just in time to see you walking out of your closet with the last of your bags. 

“Baby what’s going on? What’s happening?” You only stare at her for a second face blank, grief hidden behind your eyes. Diverting your eyes you continue on your way. She steps infront of you grabbing at your bags. “NO! No y/n. Talk to me. W-What did I do?” She stuttered as her eyes began to water. Your eyes settled every where but on her as your lip began to tremble. Shuri’s movements followed the direction of your eyes as she tried getting you to look at her. “Y/n please.” She whispered. Stepping away you head towards the bathroom to grab a few things you’d missed. Shuri fell to her knees crawling after you. “B-baby, talk to me. I can fix it. Whatever it is I can fix it.” She sat on her knees in the doorway of the bathroom. Watching you pack up things. She was confused. Her mind reeling searching for the answer. The memories they were there but there’s no way she did that. No way she would ever betray your trust in that way again. 

It’s wasn’t me. It’s wasn’t me baby. Stay help me!

Shuri could hear herself screaming almost as though she was separate from herself. She shook her head. She started to get frantic as you stepped right past her walking out of the bathroom. She crawled after you again the tears flowing as she tried to catch her breath. Everywhere you went she was right behind you begging for understanding. 

“Please baby please just talk to me. I don’t understand! I’m begging you p-please d-don’t leave me! Everything was just fine! What could I have done!” She hiccuped through her tears. Finally you finished packing and headed towards your bags. Shuri got there before you, knocking over the bags and trying to get them open to take out your belongings. “Stop Shuri.” She starts to open the bag and you grab the handle pulling at the bag. Shuri held tight making the bag rip open clothes flying everywhere as you stumbled backwards. “Fuck Shuri Stop it!! I’m leaving with or without this shit!” You try walking out but Shuri once again was on your trail. She crawled infront of you, wrapping her arms around your lower torso as she buried her face in your stomach. 

I’m lost sthandwa. Please don’t leave me here.

“What did I do baby?! What did I do? Please I-I can’t lose you. I’ll fix it umfazi wam. I’ll fix it. I need you! Don’t do this!” Your body trembled with sobs that you held inside as the dame broke. You hit a button on your beads. 

“Okoye, I need your assistance in leaving. She’s not letting me go.” You choked out. Shuri’s arms tightened around you. “Y/n what is going on?” In seconds Okoye was at the door. “Shuri. I think it’s best you let her go. Just come with me ok.” She walked over squatting next to her. 

“Just talk to me pleaaasssee.” Her jaw trembled as she sobbed into your stomach your shirt soaked in tears. She began to wheeze from lack of air. Her breaths shakey. Okoye and  Aneka grabbed hold of Shuri’s arms trying to release you from her grip. “You have to let her go. You’re hurting her Shuri.” Her grip loosened instantly. “I don’t want to hurt you baby. Just-Just let me fix it.” Okoye lifted Shuri to her feet.  “Come on Shuri. Give her time.”

“No no no! Just tell me what to do! I’ll do it!” Shuri was inconsolable as they carried her out of the house. “Let me go! I just want to know what I did! I just need to know how to fix it.” She began to sound as though she was choking sobs and breaths getting stuck inside her chest. Okoye pressed Shuri against the wall right outside of the door of her home. Grabbing her jaw and squeezing to open her airways she coached Shuri through her cries. “Breathe Shuri! You have to breathe!” Shuri let out a cough an agonizing cry not far behind. Okoye wrapped her in a hug gently placing her head onto her shoulder. Her body became weak with sobs as Okoye held her weight. Tolu walked over placing a comforting hand onto Shuri’s arm. Aneeka standing guard infront of them. “What did I do?” she continued to repeat. 

Finally you were able to walk out. You look in Shuri’s direction. Had you not witnessed what you did in that lab. The sight would’ve torn you to pieces. Her pressed into a wall to keep her stable with Okoye cradling her head like a baby’s. But all you could feel was hatred. Anger. Removing your Kimoyo beads and rings you drop them to the floor with a clang and walked away. Shuri released a grunt that sounded as though she’d been punched in the gut at the sound.

You were gone and she didn’t know why.

Please come find me.

Up on the mountain

Searched through the valley

You hear me calling

Won't you come find me?

Please don't forsake me

All of a sudden

My heart is breaking

I feel it coming

Taglist: @imjusthere2readbruv,@bubbleblowinggirl, @euph0ricx0,@bellaallebbella1, @minionslikeppl, @melanated-queen, @letitiasnyash, @tishlvr, @writtenbymarie, @doramilaj233, @lichuchin, @6-noir, @jackdrawsjunk, @Ippriceisright

[dognonsense]

heey i have a band and want to make tshirts to sell at our next show, do you have any easy/cheap diy ideas that look nice? silkscreening is too expensive, and i'm not shure if a stencil + fabric paint would stand the test of time...

Okay this craft is thin foam board paper, cardboard, and hot glue, super glue if u can whateever to get that down.

First draw the design you want on the tshirt. Make it simple enough you can cut it out with scissors. Here im drawing out the words again and again playing with making each letter a solid shape with no holes, playing with letter sizes and fonts, trying to draw it smaller and bigger to see how it feels.

Then the finalised logo and size is done in tracing paper so it can be flipped :3 u can also use white paper, flip it, then shine your phone light under it, and draw the logo on the otherside. i just find havi a reference to work off of and getting familiar with the shapes your working with helps.

You cut the logo out of the foam board, then place it on the cardboard flipped to make the mirror image of your logo. Glue down all the foam pieces. I fucked up the D in my logo because i glued it on the wrong side. So i just cut it out again in some green foam.

Make sure to cut off the excess cardboard on the edges. Then tada you have a stamp!

To begin printing with your stamp use a roller to apply fabric paint to it. I personally use speedball fabric ink it is better for rolling onto stamps. The ink stays wet for a long time, applys well to fabric, washs away easy, and it stays better.

I use a rubber speedball roller as well as it applys it evenly. you can definitely diy a roller from a lint roller wrapped in smth. I use an overpriced $40 handle to press down the stamp to fabric. Before i used a heavy mug to press them down.

As you can see by how bad and uneven the color is in the below photo of my first print with the stamp, what really matters is taking your time to apply pressure and your body weight over all of the stamp. And making sure to take your time. It makes the difference in the tshirt print as you can see that i figured out to apply evenly.

If a patch doesnt come out even, you can come back in with a paint brush to fill in the gaps so it looks cleaner, as i did with that patch later.

Good luck with making your tshirts!! I cant wait to start making tshirts myself! So far all ive done is my own clothing but just you wait :3

Also i use wet wipes to try wipe it off. Its not linocut so you cant wash it. So making sure theres no paint on the cardboard before you print is important.

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

I just want to say that BOTW/TOTK's Zelda is the first version of the character I've ever loved, and I've been a LoZ fan since OoT. It just frustrates me the way some fans lambast her for being angry at Link in BOTW and also claim she was wasted/fridged/sidelined/reduced to "pure sacrificial maiden" and had her adorable nerd personality stripped away in TOTK (also claiming her sacrifice in TOTK is an attempt to validate Rhoam's treatment of her in BOTW). I thought her arc in TOTK was a wonderful continuation of the one she had in BOTW and showed how much stronger she had grown. Poor gal can't catch a break. What are your thoughts?

….I do not know how long of an answer you expected, but I have so many thoughts. So. Many. Thoughts. And boy do I go on tangents when I should be sleeping. Anyway. Here you go :)

For the most part, I hold a lot of the Zelda’s near and dear to my heart! Though, admittedly, it comes from the fandom’s exploration of these characters rather than just purely canonical content.

But Botw/Totk Zelda…. I don’t need any ‘additional’ content or exploration beyond what we see in the games to make me absolutely love and adore her. She is the most developed Zelda and she has an amazing arc— her complex feelings regarding her own magic, the complicated relationship she had with her father, the realistic exploration of her feelings regarding Link and how they went from jealousy and dislike to acceptance and adoration.

I always find that many complex and well developed characters are nearly always wasted on those who cannot look past mistakes (especially ones that set up future developments and start plot lines). Sometimes, people fixate on the moments writers use to cement that yes, this character is in a very low point of their life and the way they cope is not the ‘good’ way to.

The first memory in botw tells us that Zelda is none too thrilled to have Link as her knight attendant and the Hylian Champion. That she’s using him to project her own frustrations regarding her own failures. Which is the very introduction used to draw us in, make us curious about her history and how Link is tied into any of it.

So many just… can’t see past the reason we are shown this memory, nor why her frustrations led her to yell at Link. Because she was absolutely powerless and unlike Link who has had the Master Sword since he was 12, she had nothing to show. And her character is constantly forced to listen to her father, to heed the teachings she was vaguely given through one-off comments her mother and grandmother said. She was forbidden to pursue her hobbies and give it all up for the sake of the prophecy.

And then, to find out that Zelda awakened her powers through love, love for Link who she initially misjudged and mistreated, is so so powerful. Because she had grown to resent the spirits and herself. But Link. She grew to not only care for Link but to fall in love with him. And that instinct, that belief, that faith, that love. That is what sparked the power within her.

Zelda finally heard the spirit in the sword. She understood her part in this fight. For so long she had struggled to find her power, and she awakened it just in time to save Link, but at the cost of everyone else she held dear.

Something I don’t think a lot of people who criticize and hate Zelda understand is that Zelda’s pure and unwavering faith in Link is her drive to make these sacrifices. She knows it will be worth it. Because she believes in Link. And she supports him in whatever way she can. The reason they don’t understand this is because they can’t see past Zelda’s initial emotions regarding Link. They can’t see how she never believed in herself but she always had unflinching faith in him once she got to know him.

Then to see her accept that her magic has been sapped from its constant, draining use for the last 100 years at the end of botw…. It is a powerful moment. She fought so long to have those powers, ones her father berated her for not having access to, but she can finally accept that she can’t hear the spirit in the sword anymore. That’s development.

And for those who think Zelda’s cute adorable nerdiness was wiped from totk obviously don’t have the greatest history of understanding context clues. Zelda legitimately geeks out in the very first opening sequence of totk.

*totk Spoilers ahead*

She goes on and on about the Imprisoning War and the Zonai, taking pictures and obviously ecstatic about the discovery. She finds the Master Sword’s ability to heal itself fascinating. She founded research teams and build a school to further education in Hyrule. She wasn’t just a nerd. She was the Princess of Nerds.

Her sacrifice in ToTK is at surface level the action of a sacrificial maiden. Those who can’t read beyond that won’t understand it any other way. They won’t see how important it is that Fi sought Zelda thousands of years into the past, when in the beginning of botw she couldn’t even hear the spirits. They won’t understand how Zelda’s unflinching faith in Link parallels Link’s unflinching loyalty to Zelda. ToTK is a zelink centered game. Yep. I said it. We all know it’s true.

The entire plot revolves around, get this, Finding Princess Zelda.

Link’s entire motivation behind this game is to find Zelda. That is quite literally all he truly wants to do. He wants to find her. He isn’t there for duty. He just simply wants to find her.

And she is in the past, ensuring Link has every possible thing to help him secure a future for Hyrule. She went from detesting her place in the prophecy, from being forced to comply to her father’s choices, to embracing her role as the Princess of Hyrule and choosing her own way of aiding Link.

Totk gave Zelda the supportive father figure and guiding mother figure she sorely lack in botw. It showed us and Zelda that despite having the things she didn’t have, they still failed. Sonia was killed. Rauru had to sacrifice himself.

Zelda had to sacrifice herself. She was known for being stubborn, perceptive, analytical, and independent. Now she is known for her kindness, her intelligence, her empathy, and her compassion. And she sacrificed it all just to give Link the Master Sword. Because she had unwavering faith he could defeat Ganondorf.

Zelda is a RIDICULOUSLY complex character who has been through so much. But complexity is lost on those who only look for the simple, easy to understand things. So she is bound to have haters.

But for those who can understand and admire that development, we see Zelda for who she is. And if it’s any consolation, so does Link. While this game didn’t officially make zelink canon, they did make it canon that Link stayed by Zelda’s side after the Calamity. Once she was gone, they again made it canon that he would not stop until she was back with him. His Zelda. The one that rambles and excitedly tells Link that so much has happened.

Botw/totk Zelda is so so complex. And for that reason alone, she will have haters. But they don’t know or understand her. Not in any way that truly matters. Because those who do understand her and love her, well, it’s pretty clear that’s the way to go if Link’s main purpose and the entirety of totk tells us.

[chubs-deuce]

Hey question, do you have a story of how Dawn came to be? Like, was she summoned or was she uhm, conceived? Since i think it was mentioned how sinners cant have kids and all, but i haven’t fact checked that-

And also like, what was it like for Charlie and Alistor deciding to have their own kid? I usually have people do silky stories with their ships deciding to have kids, i wonder if you have one as well. If you dont mind me asking heh ^^;;

I don't mind you asking at all! <3

Well... So far I don't really have much of a story for her, actually. She started out as just a character design I did for fun within the parameters of combining qualities of two pre-existing characters - a fun design challenge!

I ended up really liking the potential for shenanigans and have a lot of fun drawing her, so naturally one would think that figuring out a story is next, right?

And I don't really havy anything yet, but the one thing hat I know for sure already is that she was not "conceived" the uh... regular way.

Not only does my tokophobia not allow for me to handle a regular pregnancy plot without wanting to pop out of existence with visceral nausea, I also subscribe to the idea that sinners are inherently unable to procreate in that way anyways, regardless of whether or not it's canon!

I don't know yet if Dawn's creation was more of a lucky accident or a carefully planned thing, but rn the most likely thing I can think of is that she was in some way or form conjured up from combining a piece of both parents' souls through a summoning spell of some sort?

I'll have to workshop some ideas, though it's admittedly not high in my list of priorities atm xD

But when I have something I'll ofc post about it lmao

[sunscreenstudies]

How to Make a Study Plan for Final Exams

It’s that dreaded season once more so I decided to create a post based on what I’m currently doing for my master’s degree final exams, and hopefully it’ll end up helping someone else out there too!

Step One: How many days do you have left? 

Create a schedule that has the dates from when you can start to preferably one week before your exams start. This will give you enough time to allow for any unplanned events or circumstances that prevent you from studying on any particular day. If you don’t have enough time between now and your exams to take a week off, then be sure to plan extra long breaks, or one day off a week up until your exam date to account for unplanned events as well

Plan out your week and fill in all prior requirements, appointments, events, etc. This includes your school or university classes, extra curricular activities, things like doctor appointments or social events. But it should also include necessary things such as meal times, sleep, and breaks

Step Two: Figure out your learning style. 

By this, I don’t mean whether you’re a visual or auditory learner, because that’s something that could easily take up it’s own video. So, what do I mean by your learning style?

This is when you’re most productive. Are you a morning person or a night person? Or a mid-afternoon person? Or even a it-honestly-changes-every-day person?

How long can you focus for? Half an hour? Two hours? More?

How long do you need a break for to refocus? Five minutes? Fifteen minutes? Longer?

This will help you figure out how much time you need for each subject, as well as how long you can study for each day while still preventing burnout and fatigue (at least, insomuch as that’s possibly during exam time!)

Step Three: Make a list of all your topics. 

Go through all of your subjects that you have exams for and make a list of subtopics for each subject.

Hopefully your professor has given you a syllabus for your class, or even better, an exam cheat sheet of all the possible topics that’ll come up on the test.

If you can, try to assign times to each subtopic if you know approximately how long you need to study each topic. If you don’t know, then assign approximate times to the subtopics, but be sure to give yourself more time than you think is necessary just in case one topic takes longer than expected.

A good approximation (in Europe, at least) is two hours of study for every one hour of class time. So if you’re taking 15 credits of classes, you should spend roughly 30 hours studying. If you’re taking 60 credits of classes, then you should spend about 120 hours studying.

Step Four: Add topics to your schedule. 

Look at the time that you have left in your schedule and assign subtopics to the empty time blocks. 

You can do one subject a day, such as Mondays for maths, Tuesdays for English, or you can mix things up, and do History in the mornings and Computer Science in the afternoon (although its worth noting in this case, to schedule the most difficult subject during the time you’re most productive, and the “easier” subject during the opposite part of the day!)

Take into account how difficult each subject is. For example, if you really struggle with Spanish but you’re acing geography, then don’t put equal weight on those two subjects. Instead, give Spanish more time because chances are, it’ll take you longer to do the same amount of work.

Also consider the type of studying that you’ll be doing for each subject. Maybe you’re really good at biology but you know it’ll take you a few hours to draw out those diagrams. Maybe you’re failing English literature but you’re a fast reader. Change the amount of time given to each subject depending on the type of studying that’s required

Step Five: Actually study. 

Now its time to put your schedule to use. Maybe you have a ton of self-discipline so this isn’t a problem for you, but maybe you don’t so you havie to send your schedule to a family member or friend so that someone else will hold you accountable for following it.

Don’t forget to take breaks. You should stand up, walk around, stretch, have a snack, refill your glass of water, or even do a light or heavy exercise. Talk to your roommates, call your grandma, or run to the store real quick. The aim is to get you out of your study space and get your body moving so that when you return to your desk, you feel refreshed and ready to go once more

Bonus: Problems. 

Here are the top three pitfalls that most people fall into when creating study schedules.

Overcommitting. The biggest problem that I see people face is overestimating just how much they can get done in a day. This is why I say to give yourself extra empty days and overschedule your tasks, so that even if something does take longer than expected, your schedule hasn’t been completely derailed.

Not scheduling enough breaks. I cannot overstress the importance of taking regular breaks while you study. Whether it’s for twenty minutes or even just five, you need to remove yourself from that study environment and allow your brain to readjust. You must give yourself time for the information to sink in, and the last thing you want is to be hungry, thirsty, or tired while trying to study for an exam.

Not adjusting your plan. This ties into the previous point. If it doesn’t work for you, then change it. If you need more breaks, then add more. If you initially thought that you could focus for an entire hour but then realise that half an hour is better, then adjust your schedule as needed. This is your study plan. No one is making you follow the first draft. So change things when you have to, because otherwise you’ll find yourself exhausted and burnt out, and nobody wants that!

[iced-souls]

Hi hi!! Sorry I be a little quiet lately, just got my schedules filled with camp job, soccer, and artfight—

And now that I have mobile tumblr image max worth of art fight drawings I can now post them ah he he—

Credits:

Suds — @aisemulator

Nyx — @artisticthingem

Sylke/Erubi — @slylock-syl

Nicolo — @clacy2812

Toast — @glitchysquidd

Coriander and Valko — @moki-the-lettuce

Roshi — @meatygutsy

Havi — Eviredsmile

Basil — @melatoninbunny

Circute — @angelsamidraws [the @ wouldn’t work eughie—]

[rowannobleillustrations]

An ink drawing of one of my favorite NPCs from my GF's D&D game, her darling little wizard, Havi.

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Another auvember prompt!! This one is a song ficlet for an au where Splinter and the turtles are human. He adopted them with his partner I have left very vague.

Here is the link to the song, it’s from a musical you can find on YouTube for free called Nerdy Prides Must Die!: https://youtu.be/ebetUH8KWfg?si=5tQtF1bW_SKCCr8M

@daboyau

@tmntaucompetition

BBQ

Yoshi stepped inside, closing the sliding door behind him. The noise of the party outside became muffled. His partner was left outside to handle the grill.

He just needed a second away from everything.

Several more steps and he found himself in the living room. There had an opportunity to see the font yard in full view. It was empty since all of the guests were in the back.

Saturday we installed a new bay window,
And it was something right, out of a dream, I never had.

He didn’t hate the window. It just wasn’t what he wanted. It was a compromise. Life and marriage is all about compromise.

He glances into the kitchen where snacks were still strewn about the counter.


Saturday belongs to soccer practice, 
I pack their little cakes, for after the games, they never win.

It’s not as if he was truly disappointed in his kids. Even if they did win the games, what would they get? A little trophy? A medal? It was just for them anyways. They had more of a right to be sad. It was something they all wanted to do.

Except Donatello, he’d rather collect data on the games he watched and dryly cheer his brothers on.

Many found it strange, he found it….endearing. Some children, like Mikey, draw their parents pictures. Donnie codes a drawing.

He wished he could put it on the fridge. Donnie figured out how to print it. It looks nice up there.

And life is full of all of the trappings of the well-to-do
And life goes on, as I shop for shutters to obstruct the view.
And life is fine, if only it were mine.

He wouldn’t trade his current life for anything. Still….he missed his former life as well. Not the part where his ex/former agent forced him to take on roles he hated and burnt him out to all hell of course.

But just for once I’d be the center of attention.
Just for once, remember what a life can be.

Before that, when the spotlight was his, utterly and completely his. When people were entertained by what he wanted to do. When people called him by a different name and cheered it, had him sign it, loved it.


Just for once I feel the light inside, the burning of a candle.
Living just for once,
Living just for-

He enters the bathroom and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

39, I lose my hair under careful chemo treatment
And I was not unhappy, about the attention I ensnared
Judge me

Cancer was nothing to joke about. Well, he had to joke to cope. He had to joke to keep his children from panicking. Attention was on him while he struggled.

He remembers when his first injury, his first illness, finally managed to be the thing that pulled him from his toxic romantic and work relationship.

This time was a bit different from that.

There were people who stuck around him, wanting him to beat it.

There’s a magazine nearby with her on it. Big Mama, her stage name, hanging on the shoulder of another idiot who fell for her lies.


It fucking worked, I’m fucking here, he’s fucking her
I’m disappointed

He couldn’t warn anyone about her. A strict contract, an NDA forbidding it.

He feels the fabric underneath his feet the longer he stood there.


There’s still carpet in the bathroom
And of the two, who’s the worse for wear
Me

There’s scratching at the door before a dog pushes it open, realizing it was never fully closed.

We love our dogs, especially Captain
He’s a bullshit mix

Raph would bring home stray animals as often as he saw them. 90% of them had to go to some other good home.

They kept two dogs to make it easier to say no.

He splashed water on his face before leaving the bathroom with Captain. They went back to the sliding door and he let him out.

Captain ran off to the pool area where all the kids are having a nice time under careful supervision.

He glances at his partner.


The pool is out, the neighbors come rushing
Maury Prefers their kids

When he was younger, he would get compared to other kids constantly. They had better grades, they respected their teachers, they didn’t talk back.

Most of those kids didn’t have a father who ran off while also having a mother who died.

They didn’t have to listen to their grandpa act like they weren’t trying, probably.

His children had two parents.

He was there, but was he truly around?


And the world's a stage when you’re middle of age

But just for once my life could be just what I wanted
Just for once I'd feel the spark that I once knew

Everything in his life had been working against him.


Just for once I’d feel the fight inside, the burning of a candle
Something more than I can handle
Just for once

His partner ushers him over. He needed to watch the grill now so that there was time to talk to the guests. Enough was spent taking a break already.

He holds the spatula and stares down at the meat sizzling in front of him.

Should I flip the burgers now
Should I double check it's well done on the outside not within
Oh


If he messed up the food, Donnie would refuse to eat. Raph wouldn’t care, Leo would dump ketchup on it and chow down.

His partner would probably be slightly angry.

He feels Mikey pull on his apron.

Should I let the coals burn out?
Should I let the years cook my body down in front of him.


Mikey smiles up at him with his wide, gap toothed grin.

He babbles about burger grilling techniques he saw on his favorite cooking TV show.

Yoshi smiles and picks him up with his free arm. If his body was not well enough for performance, he was glad it was healthy enough for them.

Mikey happily keeps talking as Yoshi grills.

Oh-oh
Just for once
Just for once
Just for once

He sees one of the neighbor kids talking to Leo about her dance classes. Leo loves anything where people have to watch him do something.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

The other day the Johnsons borrowed my tap shoes
Their eldest daughter is beginning tap
It was no bother, I never ever use them.

He hopes that none of his kids turn out like him.

He wants them to be better.


I used to dance
I used to dance

[hopefulromances]

The Song Of Jamie Tartt - Colin Hughes x Jamie Tartt

Summary: Colin Hughes falls in love with the half-god Jamie Tartt.

Triggers: This is based on the Song of Achilles so there is canon typical violence, bloodshed, and character death. If any of these topics may trigger or upset you, please pass on this one.

Word Count: 7.1k

I am 14 when we meet. He can’t be older than 12 and already he is taller and stronger than most of boys my age. He has an easy charisma that draws all the boys to his side from the moment he steps in the door. His hair is longer than most. Not too long but enough that it spills into his eyes when he’s not careful, causing him to brush it back with his hand. He smiles easily while the rest of us struggle to keep up in our training and everything he is irritates me.

His cocky laugh that carried throughout the room, his toothy smile that took over his face when he watches them scramble over themselves to talk to him, the way his eyes light up when he hits the target right on the mark. Which happens all the time as he seems to be a natural at everything he does. Running, shooting, throwing. Things that took the rest of us months to master he seems to manage in a week or less.

It’s not long before his mother removes him from our standard practices to a more advanced study. Jamie’s mother, Georgia, is our host, of course. The kind and benevolent benefactor of all the boys. She clothed, fed, and housed us our whole time as boys. We rarely saw her though, instead, we were overseen by Rebecca, who made sure we kept to our studies, training, and eating regime.

Once Jamie is removed from our training courses, we see less of him. Mainly for meal times, where he spends his time entertaining and showing off to anyone who will watch him. I don’t watch him. I refuse to watch him throw dates in the air before catching them in his mouth. Up in the air, hanging just for a moment before falling into his lips for an easy swallow.

“Colin” he calls to me one day.

I barely have time to look up when he’s tossing a date in my direction. I flounder, reaching up to catch it in my hand. He smiles at me, nodding, clearly pleased that I was able to catch the date. I hate the way his approval sends a pang of electricity down my chest.

Those days, when we were young, the boys often spent time outside in the sun and the grass. Spending their time wrestling, climbing, and chasing. I didn’t want to do those sorts of things. When the sun was out and the wind was blowing, I prefer to sit under a tree and watch the waves hit the surf on the beach down the cliffside.

I’d turn and see him watching me. Pausing whatever game he and the boys were playing to look over my way, to check on me, it seemed. I didn’t know why he was drawn to me, the same reason I didn’t know why I could always feel the second his stormy eyes were trained on my head.

Whatever the reason, when I turned to look over at him, he never turned away as you might expect. Never flinched at the realization he’d been caught. He’d just smile. Not one of his large cocky smiles that he always seemed to wear. But a smaller, softer smile.

I am 15 when he comes to me after training one day. His mother sent him to question my lack of performance in recent months. How embarrassing is it that I’m being told off by my younger? I wave him off, some excuse of fatigue and lactic acid falling off my tongue.

He watches me carefully as I speak and he knows what I’m saying isn’t true. The truth was I wasn’t performing as well because I was not as good. Not as good as the other boys. Not as good as Jamie, and it was affecting me.

“You’ll join me tomorrow.”

He says it casually as if it was the next step in my journey to join him. I shook my head, insisting that it wasn’t necessary. That I would just need some time to recover from the months of strenuous training but he just shook his head.

When he said I’d join him, he really meant that I would come and watch him train. I didn’t mind so much, not having to train rigorously every day and watching Jamie was… something else entirely. He’d improved in the year since he’d left our training. If it were even possible, he moved swifter, more fluid in his spear-throwing and sword-wielding. His muscles flexed and moved in just the right way to make his body look like it was floating on air.

His personal trainer, Roy, was much less forgiving than the general trainer was. Roy kept him on a stricter regime. More training, fewer dates and it seemed to have results.

I found myself wondering, as I watched the two of them spar if Jamie ever missed being just a boy. Just someone who laughed and played in the sun. But watching him light up as he trained, it was easy to see that it wasn’t a chore for him. He savored every ache and pain that wracked his body when he trained, and searched for them. The same pain I’d been complaining back when he asked me to join him.

He began joining me at meals as well. Sitting with me while he ate his special meals, the rest of us surviving on the same lamb and dates that he had before starting his training with Roy. The other boys began flocking to my table, grasping for his attention but he barely looked at them. His attention remained mainly on me, asking me about my home and my family. Soon the other boys didn’t bother coming over to our table anymore.

So, I told him. I told him about growing up not far from here and my younger sister who lived back at home. I told him about my love of music and watching the stars at night. He always listened, his face kind as he did. The more he asked, the more I talked and the closer we got.

I realized, then, that he wasn’t at all that I’d thought of him. He was boyish and sweet, just another kid who wanted to spend time with his friends. He was eager to please and desperate to perform above the average. He told me of his dreams of being a legend for generations. Someone who was recognized for their skills and prowess. I told him that he would be, I could see it written in the stars.

I’m 16 when he asks me to join him in his room. He had his own room, seeing as his mother owned the property. His room was much larger with a porch and skylight accenting the room. I stand awkwardly in it, feeling unwelcome in such a refined space that differs from the crowded quarters the rest of the boys and I stayed in. But he called me over to his porch where he dug through a bin he had.

When I sat, he finally found what he was looking for. A wooden lyre, similar to one my sister played growing up. He comes and sits next to me.

“A lyre?”

“You said you liked music.”

I didn’t realize he remembered. In one of our first conversations I mentioned, off-handedly, that I used to like to listen to my sister play the lyre. The comforting sounds always relaxed me after a long day.

“I did”

He came over and laid down next to me, his head resting on my shoulder. I froze as he did unsure of how I should react to the touch. But he didn’t notice, or if he did, he didn’t react, he just began to strum the instrument. I looked down at him as he played, his fingers floating just like the rest of him. I don’t know if he’d picked it up when I mentioned it, but if I did, he’d learned very quickly, as always.

And as he played, I felt myself relax. It was a nice day. The sun warm on our skin, the wind keeping the heat from swelling, and the sound of the lyre filled the air around us. Soon he began to sing softly as well. His voice surprised me. It was soft and full of emotion. It was just a hum or a lullaby, but whatever it was he sang remarkably well. I felt, for a moment, annoyed that this was just another thing that Jamie was effortlessly good at but soon my irritation melted into appreciation. He shared this talent with me, just me, and all was right.

He invited me to stay in his room that night. He wanted me to show him the stars, tell him the stories they held. He laid very close to me, our heads almost touching. I pointed out the constellations I knew and the stories they held. Heracles and Orion. Achilles and Patroclus. The stories of love and tragedy that filled the skies. He asked me, then, why so many of them ended in tragedy.

“I suppose that the stories come from people who haven’t been happy, so they don’t know how happiness ends,” I told him.

“How does happiness end?”

I pondered his question for a minute. How did happiness end?

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I reckon it’s when you’re with the person who makes you feel safe, and you know you can never be parted again.”

“Do you think happiness ends in death?” Jamie asks, looking down at me. His nose brushes my head and I don’t dare look up to meet his eyes.

“I suppose it can.”

After that, I stay in his room more often and eventually end up sleeping there permanently. The other boys feel jealous but I don’t mind. Jamie is a puzzle I don’t mind solving. Day after day he reveals a new piece something else that makes him more full. A dazzling spectacle of colors and shapes that made up Jamie.

It’s not long after that I learn about his father. A god of deceit and mischief who required weekly meetings with Jamie. He was a hateful god, one of the lower ones, who, I learned, pushed Jamie to be more, be better, be the best. Jamie’s aspirations felt tainted when I learned that, but Jamie wanted them in spite of his father. He wanted to be good, and kind. He wanted to be a legend in the image of his love, not of his hate.

It made Jamie’s talent and abilities that much more impressive to me. His father was a spiteful thing, jealous of his son’s abilities, and Jamie was so kind and hopeful. Jamie made it his duty to be better to be happy. And I was happy being around him. Seeing him smile. Seeing him laugh. It was music to my ears to hear.

I am 17 when he comes home from a visit with his father. This time he seems particularly angry. When he came home from his visits, he was usually upset, angry, and frustrated. Something about not being enough. Strong enough, fast enough, smart enough. Whatever it was, he wasn’t enough. But today seemed particularly angry.

He came into the room, throwing a rock at the floor. It shocked me from the daze that I’d fallen into on his bed, forcing me to pay attention as he stalked into the room. He didn’t acknowledge me as he walked to the steps on his porch. I approached him cautiously, not wanting to send him running from me.

Instead, I came and sat behind him slightly.

“Are you alright, Jamie?”

“He talked about you.”

I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t aware that Jamie’s father even knew I existed. But he was talking to his father about me. And now his father was talking to him about me.

“Oh.” Was all I could say.

“Said I’m going soft. Says I’m… weak because of how I feel.”

I felt my forehead wrinkle. How he feels? How does he feel? I moved down to sit on the step next to him. He stared straight ahead, at the field that led down to the sea. Past the tree where I used to sit and he would stare.

“Jamie?”

Instead of turning towards me, he looked down at the floor. The dust settling as the wind died down and the world stood still in anticipation of Jamie’s response.

“How do you feel?” I asked him.

Jamie looked over at me, his eyes searching mine. Without meaning to, I surged forward and captured his lips in mine. He froze for just a moment before bringing a hand up to grasp at my chin, holding my head in his hand.

I’m 17 and I kiss Jamie under the orange light of the setting sun.

In looking back those are the times I like to remember. When Jamie would come to me for comfort after visiting his father, or the times when the rain prevented us from training, so we would sit on the porch and watch the wave of the wind over the fields.

I think he liked those times, too. As much as he loved to entertain and show off in front of the boys, he also liked when he could lay his head in my lap and be quiet. Watching the world spin by in front of us. I would run my hands through his hair, allowing him to just be still for a moment. I think he lked that.

As I fell, I felt myself wondering if Icarus. As my wings burned up with the desire from his sun, I had no choice but to let gravity take me as I plummeted ever quicker into his wicked soul.

I was 18 when the war began. Though we are all called to fight, Jamie is called to lead. He tells me I don’t have to come. That he could command me to stay behind and watch over the house while they’re all away. As if I could let him leave me now as if he’s not the light that leads me forward. But I told him the truth. I would follow him to the ends of the earth and the off of them if it meant we could stay together. That comforted Jamie.

He’s only 16. Very young and being asked to step up and not only fight in a war but lead it as well. I can tell it weighs on him, as much as he puts on a happy face. But I can read him and the smaller expressions that go by the common eye. I see the flicker of disdain and fear that lingers at the end of his sentences.

We had one last night together in Jamie’s room before we left. It was raining. As if the very sky wept for the innocence that had been Jamie’s life that was now gone. I held him in my arms as he lay against me on the steps of his porch, watching the soft pattering of drops on the grass in front of us. His grey eyes matched the stormy sky in color and feel.

“Jamie, you are allowed to be afraid,” I said to him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

He didn’t look up at me, just kept staring out at the field. “If I’m afraid, what does that make you?”

As well as I knew Jamie, he knew me even better. He was trying to be strong for me. Not for the war efforts or for himself, he wanted to be brave so I wasn’t afraid. I felt the tremble of the thunder roll through me as I held him tighter in my arms. Whatever happened in the years of the war, I knew, above all, that I needed to protect that boy inside Jamie. I needed to ensure that, at war's end, Jamie could still be the boy who came to my arms for comfort in a rain storm.

I remember the first time Jamie came home from a raid. They only sent the strongest out at first. Jamie, Isaac, Roy, and some of the other stronger men go and raid the nearby villages. When Jamie returned home, he was ragged and covered in blood that was not his own.

I reached for him but he flinched away, going off into the field behind our tent. He sat there, knees to his chest as he tried to steady his breathing. I followed him, approaching him cautiously so as to not alarm him. I sat down next to him, giving him space between us but still close enough that he knew I was there.

“I was very good,” he said finally. I nodded at him. I figured he would be, but he was so young. Too young to be expected to be good at this sort of thing. “My father was proud.”

He started shaking and I couldn’t leave him any longer. I took him in my arms, pulling him to my chest. He was half lying on me as he clutched my shirt, his tears staining the frock. But I didn’t care, I held him there, kissing his forehead for reassurance.

“We could leave,” I murmured to him. “We could run away, just the two of us. I’d keep you safe.”

Jamie managed a weak laugh as he looked up at me. He reached up and touched my face, the look in his eyes could only be described as longing. He leaned up the rest of the way and pressed his lips to mine.

When he kissed me, the world could burn, the winds could turn, the tide could change and I would stay there in the palm of his hand.

“Colin,” he muttered against my lips. “You know we can’t.”

I pulled away from him, disappointed. I knew in my soul that I would never be able to pull Jamie away from his fight. To protect the innocent, to fight alongside our brothers. But I wished for one second that Jamie could be selfish. But that’s not who he was.

The war went long. Much longer than we were all expecting. In the beginning, Jamie seemed to flourish under the pressure. He was thrown into the thick of it, rising above the scuffle and the flurry to really shine above the rest. He was a wonder to watch, quick and passionate in his defense of our city. I’d find myself stopping to watch him, inspiring as he was, as he flew across the battlefield.

But as the battle wore on, he became less forward about the whole affair. He still dominated the field and inspired his fellow men, but it was less frequent. We had our own setup, we called it the Dogtrack. We and many of the boys we grew up with had our tents set up together with a fire in the middle, somewhere we could decompress and have some semblance of home.

Those were the times I could ensure Jamie was taking care of himself. When we were out by the fire, Jamie would lead the boys in songs and dances, getting even the grumpiest of men to smile. But later, when I’d pull him back into our tent, I’d take him in my arms and let him relax. Sometimes he would cry, but sometimes he would just sit in silence and stare into the darkness. Those were the times that really scared me. Whatever he’d seen, or done, in the raid that day had rendered him speechless.

I am 25 and the war still wages. Jamie still leads his own group of men who stay by his side through all of it, but a new group joins our team. This group is led by Zava, an egotistical older man who was known throughout the land for his talent on the field. Jamie greets him as a brother but Zava meets him as a solider, immediately looking down on the younger boy.

That’s when things shifted in the camp. The home we’d created started to feel more divided as men flocked to Zava’s side to fight by him. Jamie tried to remain level-headed and keep to his own, continuing to perform at his normal high quality. But it seemed that this war was more for Zava, a place to make himself big and others small.

It started out slight. Zava starts competitions with Jamie to see who could kill more on the battlefield. Then it started becoming more aggressive, with Zava taunting Jamie in front of the men, in the midst of battle, goading him to go further, faster, taking on more than he could handle.

“Don’t let his childish insults get to you, Jamie,” I insisted as I wrapped his hands, chapped and cracking with wounds.

Jamie smoldered, his pride getting the better of him. “He’s not here to protect, or defend. He’s here to bloat his ego.”

I rubbed his hand as I finished my wrapping. He was right, of course, Zava was just here to prove his worth. He walked around the camp as he owned it, his posse following along behind him like his very steps were made of gold. I heard the rumors, the mumblings that he and Jamie were very similar. But I didn’t see it. Sure, Jamie was incredible on the field of battle but he also supported the people around him. He didn’t kill if he didn’t have to and he certainly didn’t make a competition out of it.

“You know who you are, Jamie, in here,” I pressed my hand to his chest. “Don’t let him take that away from you.”

He rested his hand over mine, the fire in his eyes fading as he looked at me. He softened finally, bringing my hand to his lips. He kissed my palm, then each of my knuckles. Then he pulled me into his chest, kissing me passionately. I brought my hand up to tangle my fingers in his walnut-colored tips. He laid down, pulling me down on top of him, his chest rumbling with a soft chuckle as we disappeared into the grass.

I felt confident that as long as I could ground Jamie at the end of each day I could maintain that innocence inside him. But I think that night was one of the last times I held on to that. The last time I held him tight in my arms insuring him that we would be okay. But, like sand in an hourglass, the tighter I held the faster he fell.

We woke up together, Jamie’s arm tightening around my waist before he stretched up. I was looking forward to a good morning before having to head to the battlefield for the day. But that thought was quickly interrupted when Isaac came running in through the front flap of the tent.

“Jamie,” he called. “Zava’s leaving.”

Jamie sat up out of the bed, going to meet Isaac. “What do you mean, leaving?”

“He’s taking his men and going. He said…” Isaac glanced towards me.

Jamie’s fists clenched. “What did he say?”

“He said he didn’t want to fight alongside a coward who spends his days getting fucked by his men.” Jamie’s fists turned white and he pushed past Isaac. I jumped out of the bed and raced to stop him, grabbing him by his shoulder but he shrugged me off.

“Jamie, don’t, let him go,” I insisted, pushing myself in front of him. “We don’t need him.”

Jamie looked over at me, his jaw clenched. “I’m the coward? He’s the one leaving when we need him the most.”

“You’re right, he is the coward,” I agreed, I grasped at his arms, begging him with my eyes. “Please don’t go to him.”

For a second, I thought he might. But then he was shoving me aside and leaving the tent. I cursed loudly, shooting a glare at Isaac as if it was somehow his fault. I raced out of the tent going to follow Jamie.

“Zava!” Jamie shouted once he’d made it to the center of camp. Zava emerged from his tent, smiling smugly as he saw Jamie.

“Ah! Jamie, nice of you to join us this morning,” Zava greeted, holding his arms out in a mock hug. “I thought you might have missed the opportunity to say goodbye.” Zava’s eyes looked over Jamie’s head, falling to me as I approached the area. “And Colin, what a pleasant surprise.”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Jamie spat.

Zava frowned, sympathetic in look. “Oh, well, I simply meant you and Colin prefer your solitude with one another, rather than joining the rest of us on the battlefield.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Jamie retorted.

A crowd began to form around us, splitting the camp into sides as the men chose which man to back. I called over to Richard to go and find Ted, the leader of our encampment of men.

“I did not mean to offend,” Zava replied, his voice steady. “You are protecting your beloved from the horrors of tragedy, it is… admirable.

“I’m not protecting anyone from anything, Colin is perfectly capable of defending himself,” Jamie defended.

“Then let him prove it.”

I felt a ball of anxiety drop like a rock into my stomach. I was not in need of defending but whatever Zava had planned, I did not want to find out. Zava went on.

“Let him spar me. Let him prove his worth.”

Zava’s eyes were fixed on me. There was no way I could defeat Zava. I was good at fighting, but not that good. This fight was petty, and he knew it. Jamie stepped in front of me, taking Zava’s eyes off of me.

“You want a fight, Zava, You’ll get one, but not from him,” Jamie growled, his voice dangerously low.

That’s when, thank god, Ted arrived, getting in between the two men, and pushing them apart.

“Alright, that’s enough of that,” he intervened. “Zava, you and your men cannot go. You swore an oath and if you leave your life will be forfeit. Jamie, back down, you’re better than this.”

Jamie’s eyes were hot with anger as he stared at Zava. Zava looked far too calm and collected for a man who was close to getting into a fight with one of the best warriors in the world. Jamie remained unmoved, a statue under Zava’s gaze.

“Please, Ted, it was a jest,” Zava chuckled, looking over at Ted finally. “I would never leave when there is a war to be won.”

Ted clapped him on the shoulder. “I knew you wouldn’t now, why don’t you two gentlemen shake hands and makeup.”

“Yes, Jamie,” Zava drawled, sticking his hand out. “Let’s make up.”

I pleaded with Jamie in my mind, begging him to put aside his pride for two seconds and just shake his hand.

“I won’t,” Jamie snarled. “Zava has constantly insulted me and my men, and I won’t have it. I refuse to fight alongside him until he apologizes to me and to Colin.”

I felt the crowd look over at me. I wanted to disappear, I wanted this all to end.

“Come now, Jamie, be a man,” Zava goaded.

Jamie spat on the ground between them. “I won’t step foot on the field until Zava makes amends.”

And with that, Jamie whipped around and stormed off towards our tent. Ted rushed to follow him, begging him to see reason. I stayed frozen in my spot, reeling from what had just happened. Men came running up to me, begging me to talk to Jamie. We wouldn’t win without him, they said, we would be doomed.

I nodded vacantly, reassuring them that I would go talk to him. That I would convince him to return. But I knew that once Jamie’s pride was wounded, there wouldn’t be much I could do to convince him otherwise.

As I left the circle, I felt Zava’s eyes still watching me. If he knew what he had set in motion, I will never know. As I approached our tent, Ted walked out, hands in his pockets. He saw me approaching and gave me a smile.

“How are you doing, Colin?” he asked. I knew he was concerned. Not just about Jamie but about me as well. He was good at reading people's emotions, he always was.

“Uh… yeah, doing alright, I suppose,” I shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck. I paused then, worrying my bottom lip. “But you know there’s not much I can do.”

Ted nodded. “I know there’s not. But you’re going to try anyways, aren’t you?”

I glanced behind him into the tent. I could just make out Jamie’s silhouette looking out the back flap of the tent. I was just a man. I couldn’t convince Jamie to rest most of the time, much less go back on a promise he’d made out of anger.

“I’ll do my best, Ted,” I promised.

“That’s all we can ask.” He rested his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly before taking his leave.

I took a deep breath before entering the tent. Jamie was there, standing and staring at the field behind our tent. I stayed back from him, not wanting to crowd him right now.

“Jamie,” I mustered, softly.

“I know what you’re going to say, Colin,” he interrupted me before I could even try. “And I can’t do it. I can’t go back on what I said.” He turned around, finally, and faced me. His face was hard, no sign of wavering or uncertainty in his features. “He disrespected me, he disrespected you.”

He walked towards me. He reached out for me hesitantly and I let him drag his fingers up my arms before holding on to my shoulders. He rested his forehead against mine and for the first time all day I saw him break from his anger. His thumbs rubbed my skin as he took a shaky breath.

“I know, Jamie, I know,” I muttered, wrapping my arms around his waist. “But I have to ask you anyway.” I looked up at him, my hand reaching up to touch his face. “Jamie, you have to not do this. Please. Not for Zava, but for our friends, our family.”

Jamie sighed, leaning into my hand, and kissing my palm. I thought he might agree and this would all be over.

“I can’t.”

So, he didn’t. He rarely left the tent now, relying on me to get him food and news around the camp. Every day a crowd would gather outside the tent, waiting to see if he would come out but he never did. Every day, I would come home from the camp or from fighting and ask him:

“Please, come out.”

And every day Jamie would take my hand, kiss my face, hold me tight, and say:

“I can’t.”

It turned out that Zava wasn’t as good on his own. Things just got worse as the fighting continued and Jamie continued refusing to fight. People were dying, friends were dying, people we knew. It wore on Jamie, I could tell, but his pride was too strong.

I was out, getting food for Jamie and myself when Ted called me into his tent. I followed him into his tent where Roy and Isaac were waiting for us. I had never been inside Ted’s tent before, usually, only generals were allowed. It was a larger tent, even larger than Jamie and I’s and in the middle, there was a large table with a map and figures on it depicting the ongoing battle.

“Colin, we have a bit of a situation” Ted started, walking around to the far side of the table, leaning against it. “Every day Jamie stays out of the fight, we lose more men. To the battle, to mutiny, and Zava isn’t enough anymore. We’re getting down to our last reserves and they’re going to overpower us soon. We need Jamie.”

I looked over at Roy and Isaac for any support but they stared back at me with the same expression that Ted did, hope. They hoped that I could somehow convince Jamie to join the fight again.

“I think you should be talking to Zava, not me,” I replied, firmly.

The look they exchanged told me they had, and it had not been successful.

“Look, Zava is not the man that Jamie is. Jamie can see reason, and we aren’t sure that Zava can,” Ted explained.

“Jamie has given enough to this war as it is,” I defended, narrowing my eyes. “He’s just a boy, this whole thing cannot rest on him.”

Ted looked at me sympathetically. “But I’m afraid it does.”

I shook my head in disbelief. This group of men would rather force Jamie to fight a war he didn’t want rather than have Zava say a simple apology.

“Colin, listen, I don’t like this either,” Roy decided to chime in. “Jamie means a lot to both of us, but we both know what he is capable of. More than what Zava is.”

I knew he was right. And above that, I knew the impact he had on the people around him. His talent and charisma drew people to him, and inspired them.

“I’ll see what I can do but… Jamie is set in his way,” I told them.

Ted nodded. “I hear you but… we’re afraid if he doesn’t… that it’ll be the end of us.”

That was a lot of pressure. Not just on me but on Jamie. The conversation rolled around in my head as I walked back to our tent. I could feel the eyes of the army on me as I approached the tent, where Jamie was waiting inside.

“Took you long enough, I thought you lost your way,” Jamie greeted me with a grin, kissing my cheek and taking his food from me. I was silent as he made his way back to the bed, slumping down into it. “How was it out there today?”

I stayed silent, just looking at him, trying to figure out how to approach the conversation we were going to have.

“Jamie, we need you.”

He paused in his eating, his jaw slowing to a stop. “Colin.”

“I mean it, people are dying, our friends are dying,” I felt desperate. Desperate for him to listen so that this whole mess could be over.

“Colin.”

“Please, Jamie!”

Jamie sat up quickly, his face hardening. “Colin, stop. You know what I’m going to say.”

I felt breathless as my eyebrows knitted together. I walked over to him, kneeling between his legs, resting my hands on his knees.

“Jamie, please… for me…” I begged. “We are going to be overrun. We are all going to die.”

Jamie didn’t soften at my touch, he just shook his head. “Don’t ask me this. Don’t make this about us.”

“I have to. They told me, Ted-Roy! Roy told me. We need you, please!” Jamie’s lip quivered, and I saw his chest start to heave. “Jamie?”

He threw me off of him, pushing me to the floor as he stood up.

“Why does it have to be me?” He cried. “All I want is for Zava to apologize to me, to you!” I stood up, watching him intently. “I don’t want this anymore, Colin, I just want to go home.” My heart broke listening to him cry like this. It was so unlike him to break down like this. Then, like a lightbulb going off in his head, he turned towards me again. “Let’s do it.”

I shook my head. “Do what?”

He rushed to my side, taking my hands in his. “Leave. You said it once, we could run away.”

That was all I ever wanted, was to keep Jamie safe. To run away and never look back, just the two of us. If I could guarantee, right now, that if we left he would be safe, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But I couldn’t. But Jamie wouldn’t bend either. I had to make a choice.

“Okay, Jamie… okay.”

His eyes lit up in a way I hadn’t seen since before the war. “Really?”

I nodded slowly. “Yes, tomorrow, while the rest of the men are on the battlefield. We’ll go.”

He wrapped me up in his arms, squeezing me so tightly. I hugged him back, closing my eyes, memorizing his scent, the way his biceps flexed as he held me. That night I couldn’t sleep. I just stared at Jamie and his delicate features. It was better this way. Better that he could sleep soundly tonight and not worry about what the future held. I held him tighter that night than I ever had before, relishing the way his body curled into mine.

I slipped out of bed before the sun rose. Putting on his armor was difficult, as he was much larger than I was, I had to readjust several times to make it fit my smaller frame. Then I just had to put on his helmet. I prayed to whatever gods were listening to make the show convincing to the rest of the world.

I stayed silent, as I walked over to the bed and gazed down at Jamie. I didn’t know what would happen when I left through the front flap today. I didn’t know if I would ever see him again. But what I did know was Jamie was going to be okay. I leaned down and kissed his temple softly, letting my lips linger before turning away and shoving his helmet on. I knew if I turned around now I might not go, so I left and I didn’t look back.

________

When Jamie woke up he was alone. He stretched out to find Colin but the bed was empty. The sun was just about at its peak outside the tent. Maybe Colin had gone to get food, or go for a walk, say some goodbyes. Jamie sat up and stretched up, hearing his back crack out the sleep from his bones. He glanced over at where his armor had stood for the past few weeks only to find it missing. Odd.

But then shouts came from outside the tent. Drums and trumpets in the camp sounded as a ruckas became louder and louder.

“JAMIE!” It sounded like Isaac’s voice coming from right outside the tent.

He sounded breathless like he’d been running. An electric bolt of fear shot through Jamie’s body.

“Jamie… It’s Colin.”

Jamie was out of his tent in an instant, looking around wildly for where the commotion was coming from. Isaac just pointed towards the center of camp and Jamie was sprinting that way.

“Move!” He shouted as he reached the crowd. “Get out of my way.”

A path was cleared as Jamie’s presence was made known and there in the middle of the circle was his worst fear. Laying, pale and lifeless on a stretcher was Colin, dressed in Jamie’s armor. Someone was wailing, a sad, striking tone and it took a second for Jamie to realize that he was the one wailing.

“NO!” Jamie fell to the ground, grabbing Colin’s limp body in his arms. “No, no, no, please.” He looked around, trying to find someone who could help. Ted, Roy, Isaac, anyone. “Someone, please.” Even as he begged, his voice was becoming desperate. In the crowd, he spotted Zava staring in disbelief near the back of the crowd. Jamie felt his confusion and shock turn into a blistering rage at that moment. “ZAVA!”

He shot up in an instant, reaching for the man but he was held back.

“This is your fault,” he roared, fighting the arms of whoever was holding him.

“Jamie,” It was Roy, grabbing him from behind, keeping his arms pinned to his side. “Jamie, not now.”

Jamie went lax in Roy’s arms, feeling the anger leave him just as fast as it came. He felt the tears coming now. And once they came, they didn’t stop.

Colin’s burial happened shortly after. Once they were able to tear Jamie away from his body, Ted had some of the men prep him for the fire. His ashes were put in an urn and given to Jamie where he placed them in the bed that he and Colin had slept in together just the night before.

“He was incredible.” Zava had a lot of guts to come to Jamie’s tent right now. “No one could tell it wasn’t you.”

“Get out.” Jamie’s voice was dark. His hands clenched refusing to turn to face Zava.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”

“I said…” Jamie’s hand found a goblet and turning he threw it towards Zava. “GET OUT.”

Zava dodged the goblet easily, before sighing and leaving. Jamie collapsed to the floor, falling into a heap of sobs. He felt half of a person. Like there was a part of his heart that had been ripped out and thrown away. Colin was his heart. Colin was his rock, the person who kept him stable through all of this, and now that he wasn’t here it was like trying to walk on 2 hours of sleep. It was like falling with no sign of impact to end it.

The next day, Jamie left his tent. He approached Ted and told him that he would fight. He would fight until the end of the war or death take him with death being the preferable option of the two. And with Jamie back in the fight, the opposition realized just how easy they had had it without him. Maybe it was the fuel of anger that his father had built into him, but Jamie moved with the swiftness of a man on a mission and each day that he survived, he seemed disheartened.

He didn’t leave his tent but to go to the battlefield, where he spent hours more than any other man. Each day a new foe would appear to confront Jamie, and each day the foe would fall with all too much ease. The people around him couldn’t find the words to help him. What do you say to someone who has nothing?

It was a sweltering day. The air felt thin and crisp as Jamie stood on the battlefield. He didn’t feel the blow when it came, from behind, of course. Just the look down at the wound opening up in his chest, and blood beginning to spill down his sides. Those looking onward recalled seeing him smile as he finally fell to the ground.

Jamie felt his eyes close and a darkness overtake him.

Then there was a face and a hand, and a home returning.

το τέλος

Tagging people I think would be interested: @alwritey-aphrodite @its-time-to-write @sokkigarden @whimsical-roasting @mr-ghost-face