#having a lo of thoughts with my mutuals about this <3

[misspoetree]

I said it before and I'll say it again: I love how effortless Tay can read Kinn, how easy he can push him in the direction he chooses.

Korn holds this whole metaphoric speech about apples and dull knives and even brings props to get Kinn back in line.

And what happens?

Along comes Tay, takes one look at Kinn, drops a few words of easy wisdom…and all of Korn’s eloquent efforts are for naught.

Ohhh, Tay is dangerous indeed. Because he has a brain, but he also has a heart, and he knows how to use both of them (on Kinn).

(And let me repeat myself once more: wouldn’t that be a delicious thing - Korn seeing the true danger of Tay for the first time? And being forced to...do something about that? Or at least consider doing something about it? Weighing Tay's influence on Kinn against the influence of Tay's family? Just something to consider.)

[thebestbooksaround]

This is a Buddie fic rec list where "one of them isn't a firefighter" That makes me warm and happy every time I read them <3

Part 1 || Part 2

Exploding Coffee Machines by inkinmyheartandonthepage (@inkinmyheartandonthepage) | 9k | General

Buck couldn’t be blamed for falling in love with his neighbour. He was powerless against the Diaz boys and wanted nothing more than to be swept up in their everything. Buck thought that Eddie felt the same, that their feelings of more than just being platonic best friends was mutual. Buck had been hopeful that Eddie inviting him to his boss’s house to meet his friends and co-workers meant that they were taking a step in the right direction.

A step that now Buck was going to be late for OR Buck gets burned at work and worries that he's blown his shot with Eddie when he runs late to meet his friends.

What is Love For $2000? by fayevian 17k | Mature

On the screen, the camera pans down as they introduce the contestants. Mary, on her 3rd day winning streak, is a dowdy teacher type. Center stage is occupied by a graying man with loopy handwriting named Auggie. And all the way to the right is… Evan. Damn. --- One night when Eddie can't sleep, he discovers the hottest Jeopardy contestant of all time (objectively). With the "help" of his team and his fairly good working knowledge of Twitter, they devise a plan to get Evan (from Jeopardy) to slide into Eddie's DMs. It works surprisingly well.

i like you so much (it's kinda gross) by brewrosemilk, stardustbuddie (@gayhoediaz) (@wh0re-behavi0r) | 10k | Explicit

Buck Buckley (@/firefighterbuck): @/eddiediaz I’ll never be able to tug your hair now, huh?

Eddie Diaz (@/eddiediaz): @/firefighterbuck It’s against the rules, anyway. You don’t look like a fighter, though. What situation would we be in that would make you want to tug my hair?

(Or: Eddie is an MMA fighter and Buck thirsts on twitter.)

you make the world taste better by farfromthstars (@buckactuallys) | 11k | Teen

They follow the room numbers down the hallway until the last door on the right. It’s slightly ajar, and when Eddie knocks politely, it opens further.

“Hey,” a cheerful, male voice says. “You guys are early!”

When Eddie spots the source of the voice, he nearly swallows his tongue.

The man is tall, with broad shoulders and huge arms, a sunny smile on his face that looks so genuine Eddie can’t help but smile back. There’s a splash of pink over his one eye, his hair is just the slightest bit curly, and his eyes are startlingly blue. He’s also about 80% legs, and leaning on a cane to walk.

Belatedly, Eddie remembers that he should say something too, not just stare at this guy approaching them.

“Uh,” he starts eloquently. “Sorry. This one was getting impatient at home ~ Newly arrived to LA, Eddie decides to take his son to parent/child cooking classes. The instructor is so much more than he expected

stupid people. by brewrosemilk (@gayhoediaz) | 160k | Explicit

New in Los Angeles, and having recently admitted to himself that he's gay, Eddie figures that hiring a sex worker might be a good way to keep his private life cut off from his job and his son. A way to keep things from becoming too complicated.

It works. For a while.

your dreary mondays by hammersmiths (@henswilsons) | 33k | Teen

“Wait, you need a sitter?” Chimney says. Eddie nods. “Maddie’s brother got back in town a few nights ago, he’s looking for work.”

Eddie frowns. He doesn’t know much about this mysterious brother of Maddie’s – doesn’t even really know much about Maddie, either, aside from being Chimney’s girlfriend – but he’s pretty sure every time he’s been brought up in conversation it’s not been particularly inspiring. “Is this the brother who flunked out of college because he spent all his tuition on a motorcycle?”

Chimney colours a little. “Um. No?”

or, Buck babysits Christopher and Eddie is—fine about it, actually.

one single thread of gold (tied me to you) by heartbeatdiaz (@heartbeatdiaz) | 4k | Teen

Eddie doesn't know much about Chris' science teacher, except that he's his son favorite and apparently knows everything there's to know. ( Those were Christopher's words. )

So when he enters the classroom, expecting an old man dressed nicely but a little old-fashioned as the science teacher, his whole life crashes to a halt.

"Evan?" The man who's leaning against the desk, looking at some papers, suddenly startles and looks up at Eddie with wide blue eyes.

"Holy shit," It's what the man says after spending at least a minute opening and closing his mouth. or; Eddie met Evan when he was a bartender in Peru and Eddie was on vacation with his cousins. They had a one night stand and Eddie woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a disappointed heart. Just for the same guy to end up being Chris' teacher years after.

always glad you came by foxwatson (@eddiediazes) | 5k | Teen

Buck is the incredibly kind but incredibly straight bartender at Eddie's local gay bar. Eddie is trying very, very hard not to be pathetically in love with him, and is failing miserably.

“Hey, you’re back,” Buck had said, greeting him with that sun-bright grin, and Eddie had yet again been reminded why he’d started questioning his sexuality.

“Well, I get one night off a week. And tonight I could really use the drink.”

Buck’s brow had furrowed, and he got Eddie his favorite beer without even asking again what it was. “You need to talk about it? Assuming I read you right and you’re the kind of guy who talks to a bartender instead of a therapist.”

Eddie had winced theatrically. “Ouch. That obvious, huh?”

“Hey, man, you’re the one that told me you started coming here on your coworker’s advice. Feels like something you’d get from a therapist, if you had one.”

see the stars with my morning eyes by trippedandfell (@trippedandfell) | 3k | Teen

“So,” Buck announces, sitting down between Hen and Chimney at the concessions stand. “I think Eddie’s trying to get me to sleep with him and his fiancée.”

or: Eddie calls Lucy his partner. Buck extrapolates.

walking on sunshine by fallingthorns (@fallingthorns) | 5k | Teen

“Shut up,” Buck grumbles at the dog. “It’s not a crush.”

Buck walks out of the room, out the backdoor, and into the yard, trying to ignore his large and judgmental dog following behind him.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Buck tells him as he gets the hose out to start watering his plants. “Keep it to yourself.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Buck startles and drops the hose, doing a quick 180-degree turn and coming face-to-face with Eddie. He’s clearly standing on something, elbows folded over the top of the fence and chin resting on them as he looks at Buck. His expression looks almost fond and it kind of makes Buck want to both preen and die of embarrassment. -- Or, the one where Buck owns a doggy daycare, has a large dog with an attitude, and is hopelessly in love with his new neighbor.

Under Any Roof by moncuries (@moncuries) | 10k | Teen

Eddie Diaz does not need a noisy neighbor on top of all the shit he's trying to work out.

But he does make really good mac and cheese. -- “You know,” And Buck is meeting his eyes now. They’re uncannily blue. Like Kool-Aid or popsicles. “If you want, I could show you what I get up to up there?”

What? WHAT? Eddie feels heat spread from the tips of his ears to his toes. No way had he just gotten propositioned before sunrise in the decrepit hallway of their apartment building. “Um. No.” He backs up until his calves brush the door to 101. “Thank you, really. But no.”

my house of stone, your ivy grows by stayeven (@demieddie) | 7k | Mature

When Eddie resigns himself to buying sex toys in person—despite the popularity of online ordering now—he expects to be embarrassed and overwhelmed. What he doesn't expect is to leave with a crush on the employee with captivating blue eyes.

and we can stay all day by trippedandfell (@trippedandfell) | 3k | Teen

“So let me get this straight,” Hen says, once she’s stopped laughing at him. “Your nerd crush-

“-Evan Buckley,” Eddie miserably interjects.

“Your nerd crush,” Hen repeats, waggling her eyebrows. At the kitchen table beside her, Chimney is grinning like Christmas just came early. “Read your drunk tweet and then sent you animal facts via DM?”

or: Buck's a zoologist. Eddie's pretty sure he's in love.

[thisisnottheblogyourelookingfor]

My Little Sun

Rating: NSFW

Relationship: Pierro x Fem!Reader / Pierro x You

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Tags: smut without plot (maybe a little), reader is Pierro’s fiancée (arranged marriage), softdom!Pierro, mutual respect, mutual pining (alexa play ‘I won’t say I’m in love’), making love for the first time, LAP RIDING!, mentions of Il Dottore and the Tsaritsa, inexperienced reader when it comes to intimacy or relationships in general, big dick Pierro (both in energy and physically), blink and you’d miss edging, kinda rough sex, overstimulation, russian terms of endearment

Summary: Takes place in Pierro's office. Takes place on a chair iykwim.

A/N: I’ve never played the game before so please ignore if I got the details wrong. Keeping this as a one-shot at least for now. Hope you enjoy this little fic! Did not intend for it to be this long. Shoutout to @jinseinomerry-go-round spending the time explaining so much about the game and encouraging me to write this (my inner whore thank thee)!! <3

Sorry if the terms are used wrongly and is cringe.

Word Count: 2209

[AO3 Link]

Minor backstory (feel free to ignore this and imagine reader however you like): Reader has the skillset of a rogue/spy but it was out of the need to survive their harsh homeland rather than using them as a profession. Still, it doesn’t stop the other harbingers and the Tsaritsa from keeping them under constant surveillance and they can never leave the harbinger’s headquarters. They are currently engaged to Pierro for political alliance reasons and is always either in his company or nearby his office, which he spends most his time in. Reader could try and figure a way to escape the place but it doesn’t help when you’re the fiancée of the First Lord Harbinger who happens to have a variety of skills right at his fingertips. No…you’d have to approach things differently.

Terms used:

Милая (Milaya) – dear/darling

Лапочка (Lapochka) – sweetheart

моё маленькое солнышко/солнышко (Moye malen'koye solnyshko/Solnyshko) – my little sun/little sun

Жизнь моя (Zhizn’ moya) – my life

It was just like any other night at the harbinger’s headquarters. Pierro busy at his desk, sorting through paperwork, dishing out the last few remaining tasks of the day, and already planning ahead for tomorrow's briefing. You were in the office mindlessly browsing through the bookshelves. At some point you wondered if you've already passed that row of books and does he notice? Does he think you're acting strange? you shake away those thoughts and picked a random book, making your way to sit on the chair across his desk, trying your best to not do anything that may disrupt his focus. Then again, he never seems to be distracted by you. You're pretty sure that you're just as much of a presence as the wind when the doors to his office opens and closes. It doesn't bother you… right? Still, you insist on staying up with him for as long as you can. It wasn't always like this. Initially, you were always in the same room as him as a show of respect that even though you may not have necessarily agreed to be his intended, you would respect the alliance. But now? Now you find yourself willingly spending more time just being there, with him. There may not be much of a conversation going on but it felt strangely comforting to be in the same room together and you weren’t alone in thinking that. Of course, the two of you would never admit it out loud.

In the midst of your thoughts, he suddenly spoke to you.

"I-I'm sorry my lord, I'm afraid I hadn't catch what you've said" he was reading something, not even bothered by your response before simply repeating himself, "you've spent time in Liyue, I asked if you could take a look at this and tell me what you see".

"Yes, I'd be happy too, my lo-" "Pierro." "I'm sorry?" "Please, call me Pierro. It would hardly seem fitting that a lady in your position should address her soon-to-be husband in such an unfamiliar manner, especially behind closed doors." "....of course....Pierro. I would be happy to take a look at that report for you."

You got up and stood next to him, slightly bending down to read the report. You held onto the paper with one hand while he held the other side. A soft smile started to form on your face, "hmm....glaze lilies...pop's teas...this is Qingce Village! Oh it's such a beautiful place in the Bishui Plains. Did. You. Know. They've got terraced fields of flowers? AND! They were believed to be the scales of a mighty dragon!" You excitedly continued talking about the things you’ve seen and places you’ve been during your time in Liyue.

You hadn't noticed but with how close you were standing next to him, Pierro couldn’t help but look at you, studying your features quietly, eyes wandering to how a smile slowly formed on your face. Eventually, the silence and lack of response from him has you looking at him and… there. Both of you locked eyes and it's almost as if time stopped for a moment. Breaths hitched; hearts skipped a beat. It's not as if you both hadn't made eye contact before so why does this time feel...different?

It felt like forever and suddenly, Pierro reached a hand out to caress your cheek and slowly bringing you into a gentle kiss. It surprised you and you start to lose your footing falling forward, hands hitting his chest. He caught you, lips never leaving yours, he sat you on his lap and deepened the kiss. As soon as the kiss ended, two of you were now breathing heavily and looking at each other, unsure what just happened.

"Apologies. That was..." "No... it's.... it's alright. Really, Pierro. It's...." you didn't even finish your sentence and you just went in to kiss him again. You're not sure why you did that but it felt nice, it felt right.

You shifted your leg to sit more comfortably on his lap not breaking the kiss and accidentally bit his lower lip. Immediately pulling back you started apologising profusely, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" "It's alright, my dear" "I shouldn't have gone in like that, I didn't think it would-" "I'm fine, milaya. Hey..." he cups your face and continues, "you have done nothing wrong. You have nothing to apologise for." "I'm sorry... it's just... I've never..." 

"We don't have to do this, milaya." "No, it's not that... it's.... I don't know how."

His smile softens at that, "if you'll have me, I can help you. If it gets too much, you only have to say the word and we'll stop. But whatever it is, we do it together. So....tell me. What do you want, milaya?"

"I.....I want....you. I want you, Pierro. I....I want us to be more than the small conversations, the courteous gestures we perform in front of the others to show that we're merely an alliance. I want more than the silence we're constantly dancing around with, more than the passing glances we give each other when we walk the halls, more than the promise that comes with these....rings. More than just you or me. I just.... I want us."

You were both quiet now as your words ring throughout the room, reverberating off the walls as if a spell has just been casted and the effects made stronger with each echo.

His gaze darkened just then and with a low voice, "take off your clothes" "w-what?" "Do you trust me?" You hesitated if only for a moment before nodding softly. "Then take off your clothes." You stood up and slowly removed your blouse and trousers, leaving only your undergarments. The cold air hitting you now and making you slightly shiver. He then pointed at your undergarments "those too" "but Pier-" he merely looks up at you and it sent a chill colder than the air through your spine. So, you removed them and this time, you were really shivering. See, you're not used to the weather here in Snezhnaya, you'd much prefer the warm sun and the light breeze. How anyone survives the harsh cold here is beyond you. You’ve even heard that some people die if they weren't constantly moving outdoors to keep their body temperatures up. Now here you were completely naked standing in front of Pierro, hugging yourself and trying to brush off the cold to no avail.

"Come here," he pats his lap. No hesitations there, you were freezing. Any excuse to snuggle close to that lush fur coat of his is nothing short of appealing right now. You quickly shuffled forward and sat on his lap facing him, legs unintentionally straddling his thighs as you try to quickly curl up against him. While it doesn't help much, it does feel better being closer to a warm body. Pierro notices your slight relief and couldn't help but to lightly smirk at your reaction. Using his thighs, he pushed your legs apart to allow him space to unbuckle his trousers. The sudden spread of your legs left you slightly jolted as a cold wind hits your folds. Seeing his length free now, hard, you forgot about the cold for a second and just stared. Oh. Well, this would be a challenge. "Touch yourself" huh? Oh. It didn’t quite register in your mind if he just said what you think he said and you were about to say something but the way he said it gave you the sense that maybe… don’t test his patience. Reaching down, you slowly but skilfully circled your clit. As cold as it is, somehow this whole situation has managed to arouse you and you were wet.

Pierro watches you with lust-filled gaze and starts pumping his cock. Never once breaking eye contact as he watches the way you try to hide your moans and whimpers. By the gods is this truly happening before his very eyes? He's not felt such an intense emotion since the fall of his homeland and certainly not for a person, besides the Tsaritsa but that's different. Yet here you are now making an absolute mess of yourself and dripping on his lap. This has got to be some sort of trick. Did he accidentally fall asleep and is now living some kind of illusory experiment conjured up by Dottore? Perhaps this is just a dream. Whatever it is, he doesn't want to wake up from it. Not when you're giving yourself to him so willingly, following his every command. And certainly not when he can clearly see you coming undone, your breath getting heavier and more ragged, indicating you're close.

He stills your wrist just as you were about to cum and stops his own motion. You whined ever so sweetly, music to his ears. "Shh, lapochka." He places both your hands around his neck and lifts you up a little closer to his cock. You were still sensitive from that interrupted high and the months of longing hadn't exactly made you any less sexually frustrated at the lack of touch. You'd never tell him but Pierro has always been easy on the eyes. You do find him handsome and it helps that he's got the physique of someone who can either take you in a fight or take you in well... this. So, it didn't take much to set your nerves on fire and Pierro knows this. Oh yes. He's seen the ways you'd pretend not to walk past a little slower when he changes into his armour, he's noticed the blush on your cheeks when he greets you in the morning with a peck on your hands, or the way you lingered in his office to stay up late with him until you eventually pass out on the seat across his desk with the book still in your hands. What was the book you were reading earlier? Ah yes, ‘Shipping Manifest: Logbook #3’ an interesting read. Seeing you slowly unravelling and for him nonetheless, makes him so proud and very excited. Oh the things he wants to do to you.

He teases your entrance with the tip of his cock. You gasped a little. Sensing your nervousness, he asks softly "do you want to stop, lapochka?" You let out a quiet no and with that he lifts you up gently, lining you to the tip before slowly guiding you down on his length. Inch by inch, giving you time to adjust to his girth. The last thing he wants is to hurt you.

You held onto him tighter, arms still around his neck as you steady yourself down. He's big and it is your first time. The moment you were almost halfway through, you realise you've been holding your breath. You let it out shakily and closed your eyes. Pierro began rubbing the nub of your clit to ease away the discomfort. It was starting to sting and your eyes were watering now but the way he was playing with your clit kind of offset the pain. It was overwhelming. It was pain. It was pleasure. It's too much and it's not enough. You let out a cry as Pierro suddenly shifted his hips and thrusted into you hard while slamming you down to the base. Your vision turned white and you swear you could see stars swirling about. The shock cutting off your yelp and your mouth was just left open, no words or sound coming out. The impact pushed you so close to the edge that when you finally came to, the air left your lungs in a loud and uncontrollable moan. He made shallow thrusts until you cum for the first time that night. But he did not stop there. He continued riding you through the high and this time with deep long thrusts. Holding your waist up and letting gravity slam you back down. The sensations were making you hazy. You buried your face in the crook of his neck as he continued to thrust harder and faster into you. Before you know it, you were calling out his name and cumming all over his cock again.

Your whole body slumped against his chest, exhausted. He's going slower now, giving you time to catch your breath. Then, he slowly picks up the pace, and you can't help but to moan into his neck, the sound vibrating against his skin. Your eyes were still closed and sleepiness were weighing on your eyelids. He coaxes you to open your eyes and directed your sight towards him going in and out of you. Something about it makes you feel warm. The sounds of the sloppy wetness like a symphony. With his free hand, he gently turns your face to look at him "Moye malen'koye solnyshko... My little sun...zhizn' moya…do you see it? How we fit together? How we are made for each other?" He brings his forehead against yours while softly rubbing his thumb against your flushed cheeks as you start to feel your climax building again and as you go over the edge, breath hot and heavy against his skin, he runs his hand behind your back soothing you. Softly whispering in your ear "shh... I've got you solnyshko... I've got you."

[inukag-archive]

Inuvember 2023 Part 1

In honor of @inuvember InuKag Day, the Archive Mods have put together a 30 item InuKag recommendation list: one InuKag fic per prompt. Since this list is longer than our usual, we've split it into two parts. Enjoy!

Day 1 Inuyasha

I Hate That Fucking Well by @kstewdeux (M)

Post-manga. Inuyasha POV. Inuyasha's inner thoughts and monologues. Rated M for fucking language

Day 2 Kagome

Cinnamon Hearts by @fandomobsessions016 (M)

"So, you may be wondering, what’s this story about anyway? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s about how this queen, almost lost her crown, her throne, but worst of all… it’s about how this queen almost lost her king…

Hindsight, of course, has perfect vision, but at the time I did not. I was a girl becoming a woman who fought bitterly against change that was inevitable. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I didn’t want to see what was right in front of me.

What I wanted more than anything was to keep Inuyasha.

High school forced my eyes open, tested our “unshakable” bond and made me confront my biggest fear. All because…

I caught feelings for my best friend.

I like-liked my king."

Day 3 Sango

Forever Home by KittyKatz (M)

How long had he roamed the earth in a form that was not his? Beaten, dirty and caged, he finds one last bit of fortune when she comes to rescue him from this place. But his road to redemption will not be easy. And he will find, that no matter how the world has changed, his old enemy remains. And this time, they plan to destroy him once and for all.

Day 4 Miroku

Under the Northern Lights by @lostinfantasyworlds (E)

Kagome Higurashi has her dream job, working as a photographer for the internationally well-known Yugen magazine. Her career whisks her all around the world, leaving her feeling lonely sometimes but mostly just incredibly grateful to be doing what she loves. When she gets assigned to Alaska for a month to photograph a series of celestial events, she runs into Inuyasha, a half-demon who lives on his own in the middle of nowhere. A mutual attraction draws them to each other, but Kagome's time there is limited. Will giving in to their desire lead to love or heartbreak?

Day 5 Shippo

Oh, But You're Good To Me by @witchygirl99 (E)

It’s a terrible photo, really. The action figure takes up the entire bottom of the screen and part of both of their faces. Shippo’s giggling though, eyes shut and crinkled in his mirth while Inuyasha looks at him. His expression is clearly fond. It’s the softest Inuyasha has ever, ever seen himself.

This is fatherhood, he thinks a little wildly.

He sends the photo to Kagome.

Inuyasha is a single father. Shippo is his adopted son. Kagome isn't supposed to be in the picture, but somehow, she returns anyways. A story about family, love, and all of its obstacles.

Day 6 Sesshomaru

Whispers in the Wind by @ruddcatha (G)

It has been 500 years since Kagome jumped back down the well to be with Inuyasha. A messenger waits to see her family, and is joined by a surprising guest.

Day 7 Rin

My Life Before You by @len-barboza (E) -- based on a story by Mizune-mei

No English language summary provided. Inuyasha había vivido la mayoría de su vida huyendo, un huérfano medio demonio considerado por la gente una aberración, rechazado por demonios y por humanos, pero quien pensaría que esa era una mejor vida, al menos un propósito lo movía; sobrevivir, que sucede con un hanyo con una vida longeva, en completa soledad.

Day 8 Kikyou

Stolen Soul by Kimberly-A (T)

COMPLETE Kikyo uses a spell to exchange bodies with Kagome, leaving Kagome stuck in the dead shell and Kikyo comfortably human. In the aftermath, Inu-Yasha faces difficult choices. InuKag, not very Kikyo-friendly.

Day 9 Koga

A New Moon, A New Start by @pinestripes (T)

Kouga visits the village near the Sacred Tree. On this particular evening, he finds that a certain half-demon is more on edge than usual.

Day 10 Kagura

The Portal Between Worlds by @neutronstarship (E)

Ten years ago, a portal transported Inuyasha from the demon realm to the human realm. Now a half-demon alone in a world he doesn't understand, he will do anything to get home. When Onigumo brings him a book with all the answers, Inuyasha pushes aside his misgivings and works with the man. He just wants to get home, after all.

Kagome just wants to make an extra buck (and find demons), much to Kikyo’s chagrin. That is why she published Demons Among Us! after all. But strange things start happening when she puts the book online. As if people are using it to open the portals that it hypothesized… When Kagura and Sango join the fray, the stakes grow higher as they try to find the source of the portals.

When Inuyasha encounters Kagome, fate is not what it seems. Not one, but two realms are in danger for their survival. What happens when the final portal opens and an unknowable terror is unleashed? Can the Demon Hunters save the world?

Day 11 Naraku

You Rescued Me by @keizfanfiction (E)

Maybe it was fate that he decided to take the back way home that night, but whatever the reason, Inuyasha was grateful for arriving just in the nick of time to rescue a waif of a woman who had clearly been through hell. He never would have imagined that she would end up rescuing him, too.

Day 12 Band of Seven

Delicate by @akitokihojo (T)

To trust someone, to let them in, what an unsettling ordeal. Kagome is easy and safe, and Inuyasha is difficult and guarded. She can put him at ease with a smile, simultaneously setting him on edge. It was nothing until it was something, creating absolute chaos and uncertainty within the both of them.

Day 13 Jinenji/ Shiori

How Does Your Garden Grow? by @dawnrider (M)

An Ingary-esque AU: Kagome, the newest generation of caretakers of the Higurashi House, finally starts to feel like her garden and business is thriving with the help of her friend Jinenji. Their routine is thrown off by the arrival of an injured visitor who does not want to be found...

Day 14 Toga

Taisho School of Acting: A Quick Guide by @jeremymarsh (G)

“Excuse me, what?” Kagome looked at her best friend with eyes as big as saucers, lips parted, and her mind replaying what he had said a moment before – trying to find a sense but to no avail. “You heard me.” Inuyasha scowled, looking down, arms crossed and lips pouting, just like he did every time he didn’t like the topic at hand. The problem was he had started it this time. “Yeah, I did.” Kagome shook her head and inhaled deeply before she continued. “And that’s why I’m asking you to repeat yourself since I’m having problems believing that certain sentences left your mouth.” “I said,” Inuyasha started through clenched teeth, still not meeting her gaze, “come to my family Christmas dinner this Sunday.” He stopped, ran a hand through his silver mane, closed his eyes, murmured something unintelligible and then added: “As my girlfriend.”

Where Inuyasha tries to fool his parents and miserably fails.

Day 15 Izayoi

The Silence of Daisies by Fierywenchxo (T)

Inuyasha shares with Kagome one of the biggest secrets he's ever kept. One-shot.

READ PART (2) HERE

[natashatrace]

hi, writing is hard right now, so this is much more of a not!fic but!! enjoy this exploration of the cyclone&rooster&maverick of it all pre/during/post tgm. <3

//

somewhere in my head right now, there's a short story exploring the past relationship of cyclone & rooster before, during, & after tgm.

rooster going through top gun for the first time and cyclone taking an interest, sensing the anger and the grief wrapped around rooster like a cloud he can't shake. cyclone knows it's crippling the kid in ways that rooster doesn't even realize. cyclone also knows about the history, right -- he was only two years behind mav at top gun, so he remembers the stories of the RIO that died during a training exercise. probably remembers all the rumors that flew, too.

after an exceptionally rough day during top gun, cyclone speaks to rooster one-on-one and slowly, it becomes a regular thing. one-on-one conversations, cyclone checking in on the kid throughout hops and classroom instruction. maybe cyclone gets teased by another instructor for having a favorite and cyclone denies it (poorly).

and then the awards ceremony happens, rooster & the rest of his class become graduates, and cyclone finds rooster sitting alone at the reception. rooster's a few drinks deep, buzzed enough to explain how he thought not getting to go to the academy was what had made him so angry all this time. but now that he's here at top gun, now that he's made it and is one of the best pilots of his generation, he's realized it wasn't about the academy at all. it was about finding out that maverick, his fiercest supporter, didn't actually believe in him. it was about being told he wasn't good enough despite the fact that he's clearly good enough.

(of course, we know that maverick believes in that kid and was just acting on his own fear/carol's wishes. but rooster doesn't know that. cyclone certainly doesn't know that.)

cyclone continues keeping in touch with the kid after that. keeps tabs on him. maybe iceman finds out and tries to casually bring up rooster in a conversation, but cyclone makes it clear he won't be gossiping about the kid so maverick can find out because "that is your real goal here, isn't it, sir?"

(it makes iceman grin. he and cyclone develop a relationship of mutual respect. they don't ever talk about rooster. iceman gets maverick out of trouble all the time. cyclone doesn't understand why.)

//

when cyclone finally meets the infamous maverick, he's already not a fan. he sees this man as a selfish, arrogant pilot that can't step aside to make room for anyone that could knock him off this pedestal. when he asks maverick, "is that how goose's son sees it?" it's intended to provoke him deliberately. cyclone's heard all the stories from rooster about how maverick wasn't at fault, but he also wonders if rooster only believes that because maverick drilled it into his head so many times.

he knows rooster being one of the recalled graduates is going to be a problem. and yet.

(also, there's something so interesting about how similar cyclone & rooster's ideas for the mission parameters are. rooster wanting to fly the mission more slowly than maverick (bc he's stubborn, bc he doesn't want to take instruction from the man that tried to keep him from getting here, etc etc etc). and tHEN, lo & behold, cyclone changing the mission parameters so that they all have more time to reach the target just like rooster demonstrated that first day. are they both trying to do the opposite of maverick, yes, but are they ALSO trying to do the same thing bc their styles of flying are similar and that's why cyclone's taken a liking to rooster? who could say for sure. insert the 'i've connected the dots' post).

//

rooster's angry after the bird strike & wants to know why maverick stood in his way. maverick says "you weren't ready" and rooster wants to hear him say it -- pushes maverick to say that he didn't believe in rooster, but maverick doesn't say it bc that isn't why.

(rooster flips it. does it for him. "i won't make the same mistake.")

//

cyclone goes from "they know the risks, all of these pilots accept that" to "get them home, now." and it's an incredible journey, right -- it's maybe one of my favorite things about the film. cyclone warring with what he has to do as an officer in charge versus what he wishes he could do in order to keep his own people safe.

but with this whole pre-canon journey in mind, cyclone trusting maverick to be team leader takes on a whole new Thing. he's trusting maverick to pick the right team, to pick the right wingman, and to complete the mission. that mission now includes getting everyone home. it includes getting rooster home.

maybe he's realizing that maverick is the best chance at that.

//

cyclone glancing over to rooster fearfully when maverick picks him for his wingman. cyclone's voice breaking when he says there's nothing rooster can do for maverick, not in a goddamn f-18. cyclone exhaling heavily when rooster gets shot down going back for maverick. cyclone's stunned reaction when the f-14 is located with rooster in tow.

//

i like to think that after the mission, cyclone does his duties of going through debriefs and meetings and checking in on everyone, and then he goes to the medical wing to see maverick. he's Professional about it and Awkward As Fuck about it, but he thanks maverick for serving his country and, more quietly, for getting everyone home.

maverick, always more perceptive than the fucker has any right to be -- "i was getting bradshaw home one way or another, sir. i know you know that."

"yes, captain. i do."

he still doesn't like maverick much. but he's grateful.

and then he goes to check in on rooster. he's just as Professional and just as Awkward (bc i think that's cyclone's default setting when there is any chance of Emotion).

(see: turned to face the window like a doofus while he monologued about picking mav for team lead. someone make a comparison gifset of cyclone at the window & hilary duff at the window in the 'come clean' music video.)

he, again, thanks rooster for his service and tells the kid he's glad to see him back in one piece. and then, breathing out a dramatic sigh --

"fuckin' maverick, huh?"

and rooster snorts, wiping a hand tiredly over his face. "god, i know. guess i'll have to find someone else to complain about now."

"oh, don't worry," cyclone huffs, shaking his head. "i think you'll still have plenty to complain about with him around, lieutenant."

[nerdieforpedro]

Parallel Paths

Chapter One of A Safe Place for Us

Dieter Bravo x Aisha Smith (black plus size AFAB)

My entire masterlist and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI. I do not consent to my work being used in AI, recommended on TikTok, borrowed or plagiarized.

Summary: Aisha and Dieter have a long friendship after meeting on the set of a mutual show. As the years continue, Dieter’s feelings morph into something else while Aisha focuses on her goal.

Warnings: Nerdie not knowing about showbiz or writers (ironic I know), racism, playing Dieter’s career a bit, sperm donation (it’s plot relevant)

Word Count: about 1.4k

Notes: Why I wrote this…it’s an idea that got stuck in my head after @angelofsmalldeath-codeine and I had one of our many story idea discussions where we threw out ideas and tossed things to and fro. I finally rolled with it, smut will be in chapter 3 and beyond. Why it takes me like several chapters to get to smut I dunno? My writing style changed and I don’t know why, I would like it to go back 😭 Here we are.

Main Masterlist/ Dieter Bravo Masterlist/ AO3 Link

Aisha had been a writer on a show called ‘Graceland’ back when, according to her, the USA network still made shows people wanted to watch. She had been hoping to be a writer on the show ‘Psych’ since she loves comedy but it didn’t quite work out. She was thankful she had an actual writing job so she could pay some bills. She’d been able to help write the first season before getting a job on another show: The Mentalist.

Technically, she’d met one of her best friends at a table read for ‘Graceland’ but it didn’t register who he was until there was an entire season making him more central to the plot on the second show. Aisha appreciated that he was serious about getting the character right, adding in changes to better express what the writer’s room was trying to convey. He didn’t do it so much for the slick escapist show on the USA show but she really saw him shine on the screen as Agent Marcus Pike in ‘The Mentalist.’ One thing that the writer’s room voted to write out for his character was all the eating. “No agent is gonna be eating like that,” they always said. Once Dieter Bravo ate the takeout in the scene while dolling out his lines, the director loved it so they quickly pivoted on that creative choice.

“I think making Marcus a foodie is a funny quark to give him. What else were you thinking, Ai?” Dieter walked over finishing up the box of lo mien while the crew were setting up some different shots of the next scene. She showed him a character outline she’d made and tweaked based on what the producers said they wanted. Marcus was to be the epitome of a hopeless romantic.

“I think my favorite is the base guitar. I can’t play an instrument for shit. It just seems a bit unfair to the guy to have him be this great of a guy and there’s still Patrick hanging around.” Aisha explained, going into detail about how if there was a real Marcus what woman in her right mind would choose Patrick and all his issues over Pike.

“Patrick yuks someone’s yum out there. Clearly not yours.” He tosses the box in the trash. “You’re gonna need to show me what other ideas you have later.” Dieter takes another look at her notes before giving her a soft smile and heading back over to set. Aisha waves and heads off to the writers room to start of future episodes, she finds herself looking forward to the ones her acquaintance is in now. It’s enjoyable to write for Dieter, he’s so expressive even without any lines. She hopes he gets more varied roles so she can see him in different situations. Bravo wonders how different the show would have been had they taken more of Aisha's ideas into account. He’s aware of how formulaic procedures tend to be. It’s in the name but given that they actually had a black woman on the writing staff he thought they’d listen a bit more.

Aisha remained the rest of The Mentalist’s run, writing for some commercials here and there. Dieter remained on for the rest of the sixth season and got his breakout role in Game of Thrones. She was happy for him but sad that she was going to have to write him out of the show. He’d become a fan favorite and she wouldn’t be able to use more of her ideas for Dieter’s character. She also wouldn’t be able to raid the craft services table with him or discuss what Dieter actually did during the different stunt sessions that he had with the team where he learned how to shoot a gun or talk about why he has so many sunglasses. Smith felt like she knew why, Bravo’s escapades hadn’t escaped her ears. He never mentioned them to her though and she didn’t believe that she ever saw him high on the job, it didn't mean there weren't articles about what he might be doing. They kept in touch during his filming of his Game of Thrones role and his next role in Narcos. Having dinner every so often as Bravo’s fame increased, the discussed their lives beyond the industry.

The first hurdle was when Aisha mentioned a fiance. Dieter didn't know she was dating. He wasn’t opposed to the idea, she not his, just like he’s not hers. But he found he still didn’t want to know. She didn’t entertain any thoughts that Dieter would see her as anything other than a friend. Dieter wondered what made him possessive over her like that but didn’t dwell on it. They’re friends. They both continued like this for the next five years.

In that time Dieter had been in rehab three separate times and Aisha finally wrote her romance book, turning it into a series and kept a steady income. It was at a dinner Bravo invited her to at one of the diners they’d always go to after shooting Mentalist episodes. “I’m going to have a baby Dieter.”

If the milkshake could have come out of his nose, it would have, but he calmed and swallowed. “Come again? Didn’t you drop your fiance because he stole some of your ideas and used them in a failed pilot? Who are you having this kid with?!” His raised voice draws the attention of some of the patrons. Aisha is surprised, outside of making jokes and acting, she hadn’t heard him raise his voice. “It isn’t some other writer again is it? Or that same one?” Cutting his eyes at her from behind his sunglasses that had fallen down his nose, Dieter’s hands were flat on the table.

“You don’t need to be so loud. There’s no fiance or writer involved.” Aisha fidgets with her caramel fingers, clearly anxious to tell him. Her other friends thought she was crazy, would Bravo think she was too? “I-I am going to use a sperm donor. The money is steady from my books and I have two more manuscripts written up so I should be good for a while. I-” She’s focused on her hands this entire time, but wanted to look him in the face for this part. Placing her palms over the back of his hands, she exhales. “Dieter, will you come with me to the sperm bank for support? I don’t want to go alone and we’re friends right?”

She didn’t just ask him that. No, no, no, no, no. But she did. Aisha is waiting for an answer. Just some guy…it could just be any guy. What if they really have those binders and shit like in movies? But she should have someone supporting her with the baby. Not some faceless dude. But she’ll do this with or without me. Just like that fiance, he looked shifty like I used to when I was looking for more drugs. Fuck me. “I’ll come with you. Just, are you sure this is how you want to do it? You didn’t want to adopt?” Then some asshole’s sperm won’t be in you, not unless it’s mine. Wait, I’ve never even wanted kids and…table it Dee. Ask your therapist about that. Actually, this entire dinner.

“Thanks Dieter.” Her soft smile is what gets him. Greeted him after every stint in rehab and even after the scandals he’d had with co-stars, some paparazzi and that one critic he may or may not have thrown his People’s choice award at for talking about his belly on national TV. Aisha never treated him other than the goofy man who took his FBI role way too seriously on a show that maybe five people watched back in the day before he was killed off in one and written out of another. When they both could barely afford to eat any of the craft services food and maybe used some foil to take it home and eat it for dinner and breakfast until each of them got their big breaks. That smile carried him through some blemishes on his career and personal life.

Dieter could do this for her, be there in this endeavor.

Maybe he could even make her consider another option. This he should talk about with his therapist but he won’t. He’ll keep it to himself. The same way he’d like to keep his Aisha.

Moots who would also take a plate from craft services 🥪: @megamindsecretlair @soft-persephone @soft-girl-musings @rosecentaur1916 @westside-rot

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings @schnarfer @yorksgirl @guelyury @readingiskeepingmegoing

@survivingandenduring @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @gwendibleywrites

Chapter Two

[piastrinorris]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 14.2k

A/N: Jesus. H. Christ. Thank you for your patience. This chapter broke me. Goodnight.

(Also please note there is a new content warning in the tags! There is slight drug use in this chapter.)

PS i know, it's a lot of angst, and you guys are here for the cute fluffy timey-wimey boy. i promise next chapter is far nicer, i just didn't want it to get boring, is all. &lt;3

It had been so long. He’d been doing so well. You thought you could just happily leave Ralph at home and he could stay out of trouble. But several missed calls from your friends alerts you to the incident that the group chat were talking about:

With a heavy sigh, you text your co-manager, asking them to cover for you so you could leave for what you call a “family emergency”. Thankfully, you’ve had to do it often enough in the past that they just assume you’ve got a really chaotic younger sibling or something, but it still gets a little frustrating that it’s his third month of living with you and you’re still having to be on call 24/7 for him. Surely by now, he could have googled whether it was safe to microwave a whole egg. And how on earth do you accidentally go live?! There are steps to it, it’s not as though it’s a button he can accidentally press. Only Ralph, honestly.

Still, you can’t stay mad at him. Not when he’s sat on the kitchen floor, muttering to himself in exponential anguish as he reads every cleaning product label to try and determine which one is best for the task at hand.              

You spot his phone still resting on the counter and look at the screen in confusion. “How are there still three and a half thousand of you watching my wall?!” You ask into the camera.

Ralph sits up on his knees to look at his phone, too, and you hold back laughter at the camera’s shot of just his hair and eyes above your kitchen counter. “What do you mean, watching?”

“You’ve been broadcasting for hours, mate. Say goodbye to your followers!” You chirp as you hover over the button to end the feed.

Ralph sinks back to the floor with a defeated, “Oh, fiddlesticks,” and you stop the livestream.

You look at the bottles he has surrounding him and hold your hand out, “Here, gimme the green one.”

He hands it over to you, and gets up quickly, moving over to sit on the sofa in silence. You sigh in resignation, looking over at him as he hugs a cushion to his chest. Quickly wiping down the inside of your microwave, you tidy up the rest of the kitchen after him and sit on the other end of the couch, cross-legged. “Hey.” You crane your neck to try and catch his gaze, but he refuses to. “Hey. You know I’m not mad at you, right? It’s just all the stuff I’ve had going on today all balled up into one big outburst. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“I suppose you shall be on your way back to work now,” he mutters into the cushion.

You shake your head, “Nah, already forfeited the rest of the day as unpaid because the other manager’s covering. Usually I’d swap it for another shift, but we’re going away next week, so…” You shrug. “No chance there.”

Ralph looks up, the pillow obscuring everything but his sad puppy-dog eyes. “G-going away? Wher- who wi- how lo-”

“Where, Brighton,” you tap one finger. “Ever been?” He shakes his head. “Ah, you’ll love it.” You tap another finger, “Who with, please, like I have any other friends,” you scoff, “so don’t worry, you won’t be meeting anybody new -”

Ralph’s eyes widen in a double take. “Wh- I’m going, too?”

“Well, I clearly can’t leave you here with me, can I?” You ask pointedly, jerking your head behind you towards the now clean microwave. “At least the sofa in the Brighton house pulls out into a proper bed size. How long,” you tap a third finger, “we leave here tomorrow afternoon, leave Brighton next Saturday morning.”

Ralph suddenly finds all his energy, “And just when were you planning on letting me know to start packing?!”

“Well, tomorrow morning, I thought, it’s just a case of shoving some clothes in a bag for a week. It’s not like we’re going to the Ritz or anything,” you shrug. “But we’ve got time to get a head start now if you really need it.”

“If I need -” Ralph scoffs at you as he leaps off the sofa and into the bedroom. All you can do is sigh as you watch him sprint across the room.

~~~

You probably should have figured out, with six of you taking three cars, that it wasn’t going to just be six of you. Grace’s new boyfriend - who you barely recognise yourself until Ralph, of all people, informs you that they’d met on his first night out with you all - and Scott’s partner, who Ralph is thrilled to be reunited with.

It does raise some questions to you about everyone’s sleeping arrangements, since usually Grace and Anna share the biggest room, leaving the three other bedrooms in the house for the rest of you. You’re about to suggest that you sleep on the sofa here, too, to give Ralph the bedroom, when instead you watch Connor throw his bag down on it.

You frown, “Oh, I was gonna stay down here to give Ralph a-”

“No, no, absolutely not,” Anna interjects, shaking her head. “I already worked out, it’s better if you two take the biggest bedroom, the two couples share a bedroom each, and then I tried to fight my case for the sofa, but Connor insisted on it.”

“What a gent,” you comment jokingly. You wonder if Ralph saw it that way, but daren’t look in his direction, in case he takes that the wrong way and assumes you want him to react. 

“So - so this bedroom that we’re staying in, is - is there -?” Ralph stammers, his eyes squeezing shut and opening at a rapid pace. You’ve been able to recognise that as a nervous reaction of his.

“Pretty sure there’s one bed, yeah. But if that’s too scandalous for you, I’m sure I can get a fold-out or something,” you explain, but Ralph’s eyes quickly look around the room before he shakes his head. He can’t quite make eye contact with you.

“No, no, it’s quite… Nothing wrong with being bedfellows, right?”

You shake your head, “Sure, whatever you say. Let me take our bags up - Connor, since yours are there, why don’t you show the newbies around the house and the rest of us can get our rooms set up?”

Connor agrees and you sling the strap of your duffel bag over your shoulder and pick up the suitcase Ralph’s using to take them both up the two flights of stairs to the biggest bedroom in the house.

You really should make work on unpacking yours and Ralph’s clothes for the week, or at least getting your toiletries out, but the bed calls to you like a siren from the deep seas. Throwing the bags on the floor, you launch yourself onto the bed. Oh, sweet spongy mattress! An actual duvet that covers all of you and then some! Pillows without an armrest digging into the back of your head!

The drive down was tiring enough that you can feel your eyes getting heavy. You try to get up again, to fight the urge to sleep too early and miss out on your first night traditions.

You’re awoken by a gentle pressure shoving your wrist down into the bed. And then your elbow. And then your shoulder. You eventually figure out that the sound that accompanies it is Ralph calling your name. “Ah, you’ve awoken! Welcome back.”

You sit up suddenly, “Oh Christ, I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to do that, oh god, what time is it?!”

“Not to worry! Everybody is waiting to go to dinner, they said this is the time you all go anyway,” Ralph assures you. You notice that he’s stood bolt upright, but with his head turned almost upside down to look at you. You let out a sleepy chuckle as you start moving out of the bed, and Ralph quickly darts out of the room. You try not to read into that too much.

You’re greeted with a chorus of, “Alright, sleepyhead?” “It lives!” “What time d’you call this?!” You flip your friends off and fake going back up the stairs before running ahead to the front door.

Once you’ve all got your food, you sit where you always do - a bench that overlooks the pier, all its illuminations making it obvious against the dark sea beneath it. Knowing you’re finally on holiday, surrounded by the people you love most in the world, in your most favourite place, enjoying one of your favourite traditions as your lap cradles the bundle of warmth that is your portion of fish and chips as you hear the gentle crashing of waves. Knowing that all your troubles are currently almost a hundred miles away. You feel a sense of contentment, a rare zen moment. You can’t remember the last time you felt this calm.

And then, ironically, a voice laced with disgruntlement interrupts your train of thought. “Is this really any way to spend a night? You can barely see anything, this is by far the least dignified way to eat, and I fear I may come down with pneumonia before the night is through,” Ralph complains.

“Eat quicker, you’ll warm up quicker,” you prompt him. “This is why I wanted to get you a hat, but you didn’t ‘trust me’,” you mock with a smirk.

“That’s ’cause I’m your favourite to shop with, innit, Ralphie?” Connor calls from further down the bench.

“The guy who bought him clothes that feature an Angry Birds and Star Wars crossover does not deserve bragging rights,” you scoff, to laughter from most of the others.

“Ignore that lot, mate, here, have mine for now!” Connor takes his hat off and puts it on Ralph’s head. There’s something rather endearing about Ralph wearing a hat with ear flaps, but even more so when they’ve folded back on each other enough that they stick out to the sides.

“Are you quite sure?” Ralph asks, eyes wide and pleading.

“Yeah, shoved my hand in my pocket earlier and realised I had a beanie in here, too,” Connor grins as he puts another hat on his head. 

“You’re such a twat,” Grace laughs, and Connor acts offended.

“Excuse you! I was merely looking out for my best mate here!” Ralph’s face lights up at those words.

Trying not to focus on how cute that is, you grin, “Did you wanna share the bed with Ralph, then?”

Connor’s mood shifts at that. He suddenly shakes his head and goes quiet as the others hurriedly change the subject. They tell Ralph about how you’ve all hired out the same house from Airbnb for years now, how the tradition of visiting every year came to be, asking Ralph if he’d ever been to a beach before. He vaguely recalls going to “a sandy beach” when he and his sister were very young, for a few years. You’ve had a few heart-to-hearts with Ralph about his father’s death and his mother’s admission to rehabilitation, but he doesn’t bring it up to the group. You still give his hand a gentle squeeze, to let him know that you understand if he’s getting upset. He wriggles his hand against yours until your fingers interlock, and he squeezes back, using his free hand to pull the ear flaps of his new hat down to cover his.

You keep hold of Ralph’s hand as you walk back to the house, just to let him know that you’re still there for him - though you’d be lying if you weren’t also letting yourself indulge in the idea of you both taking a romantic late-evening stroll along the beachfront, just a little. Of course, usually when you allow yourself these small delusions, it ends up warping the little grievances the two of you have into something far more infuriating than they probably actually are - something’s got to bring you back to reality, after all. But you can’t see any reason why you’d possibly get far enough to snap while you’re on holiday.

Once you’re back to the house, and you and Ralph are making your way upstairs, you tell him to get himself changed in the bedroom while you do so in the bathroom. You grab some pyjamas from your bag, as well as your washbag, and head in to get yourself ready for the night. A quick silent pep talk with your own reflection to remind yourself that your walk back with Ralph was strictly platonic, and you’re ready to go back out to the living room for some games with your friends before bed.

As you step out of the bathroom, you hear a short, shrill shriek. Your eyes dart immediately to Ralph sat on the side of the bed who, despite the fact that he is wearing an undershirt, still censors his chest from view with his pyjama shirt, staring at you with wide eyes.The shade of his ears is unusually deep compared to when he’s usually surprised. Assuming you’re paying far too close attention to such a minor detail for no reason, you snort out a laugh, tell him to meet you downstairs and go to meet the others.

Though Ralph doesn’t understand a lot of the games you all play that rely heavily on pop culture knowledge, he’s a big fan of those that rely on skill and/or general hilarity, since his cluelessness usually helps him there. You advise that he take a backseat upon the suggestion of Jackbox, much to the others’ chagrin - you just feel as though he isn’t quite ready for that, yet. You’re proven right when he constantly asks you for clarification on just what makes a particular answer funny, or when his ears burn up at a particularly racy answer. Connor had expressed interest in showing Ralph the ropes when it came to some games, and you tried to encourage him to go over there, but Ralph insisted on you being his teacher. You assume it’s because you know better than anyone how to explain things to him, but internally your imagination is  playing a very dangerous game.

When you awaken in the bed the next morning, Ralph is still sleeping soundly next to you. He’s almost at the edge of his side of the bed, back turned to you. You slowly make your way out of your side and sneak past him, out of the room and down to the kitchen.

“No Ralph?” Scott asks as you walk in.

“Hello to you, too,” you jokingly flip your friend off and he smiles sweetly in return. “Nah, he’s still sparko. Dunno why.”

“Didn’t he sleep well?” Anna frowns.

You shrug. “Couldn’t tell you, I slept like a log!”

Ralph stirs from all the way upstairs, assuming from the open door that you’d already left the room but still staying still just in case. He slowly starts to roll around to look, allowing himself a sigh of relief as he sprawls out on the bed. He’d only slept once he’d finally exhausted himself from trying to stay as deliberately far away from you as possible. 

His mind would wander, of course. How peaceful you must look when you sleep. How wonderful it would be to awaken with his face a mere touching distance from yours. On occasion, he’d hear you take an extra deep breath and he’d get giddy at the realisation that he was breathing the same air as you!

That’s when he’d rein it in. Stupid Ralph. That’s exactly what scared Lauren off. It’s been months since that week, and still he hasn’t learned. In the present moment, Ralph pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration at himself. Desperate to think of anything other than the thought of waking up next to you just as the sun shone against you in the most perfect of ways, making you appear even more radiant than usual. Of your eyes slowly opening as you wake. Ralph finally gives into temptation and indulges himself in the idea of your sleepy smile, in this dream universe where you’d be happy to wake up to see him. And what a perfect sight that would be.

He takes himself to the bathroom, picking up his razor and twirling the handle around between his fingers and thumb, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He’s already shaved his facial hair clean off on several occasions. It keeps him remembering who the real Ralph Penbury is. You and your friends always complain when he does it, though. They tell him that he’s not Our Ralph when he looks like that. He’d love nothing more than to be Their Ralph. Especially to you. What was the point of being the other Ralph? Going back to a penniless, friendless, loveless, overall fruitless life?

But you’re always reminding him, this isn’t his era. This isn’t permanent. You’re always preparing him to go back to his own time at any point. A part of Ralph - the stupidly optimistic, nay, deluded part - hopes that it’s simply a fear of the unknown, that messing with time in such a way could cause devastating effect. Though what a stupid thing to think, in what universe would Ralph have such a massive impact?! 

With a heaving sigh, he tidies his facial hair up to a minimum while keeping it intact. A part of him still hesitates, still debates going further. It's what you'd want. Except also it isn't, because you always tell him he looks better with it. Ye gods, you're a confusing one.

Ralph gets himself dressed and makes it downstairs in just enough time to catch breakfast being dished up. You whisper something to Scott as soon as Ralph approaches, and Scott hands him a plate with a warm smile alongside everyone else eating, before setting everything up to make another portion for you. Ralph wants to frown, but he doesn't want to draw attention to himself, either. Why would you immediately sacrifice your breakfast for him, when he's the one who came downstairs later? Why would you see him being fed first as more important? Why not let him make that decision? He would have been happy to wait.

You feel Ralph's eyes boring into you as he scarfs his eggs down, but the one time you try and look back at him he acts as though he's trying not to get caught. You wonder what he could possibly be thinking, until Anna starts talking about the day's itinerary. This is good, this is distracting from the awkwardness, this is what the holiday is all about.

All wrapped up for a brisk November morning, you all head out to the pier, as per tradition. As Ralph gets face to face with the rides, he looks up at them, horrified, and you frown. "Are you scared of rides, or something?" He looks back down at the pier floor, watching the waves crash beneath a gap in the planks, with more fear in his eyes. "Hey, hey," you soothe, "eyes up." Ralph eventually tears his gaze away to look at you. "I promise it's all safe. It's not like those travelling funfairs where everything gets wheeled in and out, everything's built to stay here. Alright?" He still seems distracted, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, "Wanna hold my hand again?"

Stupid. What happened to not feeding the delusion? What happened to distancing yourself? What happened to being realistic? You know exactly what happened. Those damn baby-cow eyes. Hopefully Ralph'll say no. It'll be too scandalous for him to hold hands in public with people all around, surely.

But no. His fingers very carefully slide between yours yet again as he squeezes your hand gratefully. You keep both of your hands relatively tucked away from the others' view - they've already got you two sharing a bed, the last thing you need is having to constantly try to convince them all that you and Ralph aren't an item. Despite the fact that it would certainly be a good thing for you, a constant reminder to you that it can never happen, you know your friends well enough by now to know that they’d only take it as denial. That they’d keep pressing to ‘uncover’ whatever they believe you’re hiding. And you’ve gone this long keeping your one big secret from them, what if they keep digging until they find that out?!

Your train of thought is interrupted by a loud giggle from Ralph. He sees the photo op cutout of a cop and robber chase scene and he’s delighted by it. “Wanna pose?” You let go of Ralph’s hand to take your phone out and hand it to one of your friends as you both run behind the photo stand. Ralph finds the resulting picture absolutely hilarious. 

“I always wanted to do one of those,” he muses as the pair of you hang back for him to once again hold your hand, to your own chagrin. Why couldn’t you have offered to link arms? That’s friendly enough. Can’t really be misconstrued. His smile, small but contented, melts your frustrations away, if only to add to them later on as you’re walking with him.

“Did they not have people taking your photo for you, even, in those days, then?” you ask quietly, so as not to be overheard.

Ralph half-shrugs, “There were cameras, you know. Far bigger than those little pocket ones everyone has now!”

“Yeah, I think I know of them. Big box things, someone would have to stand under a curtain and hold out a thing to press to take it, right?” you ask.

Ralph holds back his laughter as he replies with amusement, “By a thing to press, do you mean a button, by any chance?”

You pull a sarcastic face at him. “I’m leaving you stranded here,” you joke, tugging him in a particular direction to show him you’re not serious. “You’re spending too much time around me, I think. Starting to sound like me and everything,” you shake your head.

“Is that such a bad thing?” Ralph asks in a small voice.

Trying not to overthink what else that could mean, you shrug, “Well, I s’pose if I’ve a part to play in you being able to tell your sister to shove it, then not really. But using my own brand of sarcasm against me?” You tut, again shaking your head. “I’ve created a monster.” Ralph laughs gently at you as everyone stops at their first ride: the Turbo roller coaster. 

Everyone laughs at the shade of green Ralph turns. “I promise you, mate, it’s far scarier down here than it is up there,” Connor tries to reassure him, but Ralph is fixated on the loop in the track.

“Honestly, Ralphie babe, that is the tiniest loop you’ll ever go on. It’ll be over before you even know it, and by the time it is over, you’ll love it, promise!” Grace holds her little finger out to Ralph, who stares at it with fearful eyes for a few beats before linking his own, to everyone’s cheers.

You allow your hands to be a little less obscured, under the guise that Ralph is only scared of the ride and so you are providing a temporary comfort. Anna also rests her head against Ralph’s arm, and Scott places a comforting hand on his shoulder, at your invitation. “The more of us that comfort him, the better, right?” you explain. “Plus, if there’s any… Prying eyes…” You look around anxiously. “At least they can’t assume that Ralph and I are dating just ’cause we’re stood together,” you roll your eyes exaggeratedly. “I don’t need that sort of attention, it’s bad enough on socials.”

You don’t see Ralph’s change in demeanour. What was a quiet excitement mellowed amongst the fear of the ride, turns to full-blown dejection. Of course you’d be embarrassed to be associated with him. Who wouldn’t be? No matter what era he’s in, he’s still Ralph.

Anna interrupts his train of thought by rubbing his arm, “You alright, Ralph?” He nods, pushing a smile up his cheeks. “Nervous?” She asks, and he nods silently. She hugs his arm tight. “Honestly, there’s nothing to it.”

“Yeah, you’ll be a thrill-seeker like the rest of us in no time!” Scott grins before nudging you and Ralph each. “You two should get a photo on the Crazy Mouse for the flat!”

You shake your head, “Come off it, like either of us would want a photo of us being flung around like that! Right, Ralph?” Again, he nods without saying a word. Your brow furrows, “Are you okay? Did you want to sit this one out?” He shakes his head. “Sure? We can just go get food if you would rather watch this lot go round first and then we can go later,” you offer, but he shakes his head again.

“Besides, it’s not like it’d be the worst photo of him out there,” a completely strange voice from the other side of the queue barrier makes you jump.

“Excuse me?!” Scott exclaims.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you all! We just saw Ralph, and then you, and really wanted to get a photo, if that’s okay?” They ask you. They seem innocent enough, just asking for a picture, but you still can’t help but stand there awkwardly.

“Oh, I’m not really into that side of things, I only got my socials to make sure people are being normal about him,” you shrug them off before adding, “and to reward you all with some extra content if you’re all behaving!” They laugh, and you turn to Ralph. “What do you say, do you wanna take a photo with some of your fans?”

Ralph approaches the barrier and leans over it to pose for the photo, pressing his lips together into a smile as he holds an arm around his first in-person fan. “My friends and I just think you’re absolutely hilarious!” They smile up at him.

“Oh, please,” he laughs, flustered. Though he has his new hat on, you can guess what’s happening beneath it. “My lack of knowledge of technology doesn’t necessarily make me hilarious, anyone could do that.”

“Nah, there’s a sort of… Natural charm about you. Plus, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’re really cute. Even in that photo that’s going around.”

Ralph sputters nervously as the rest of you exchange glances. You manage to hide your seething rage from your friends, though you feel it boring through your eyes as they fixate on this person. “Ah, don’t be so silly! You’re far too kind. Um, is that your friend over there waving you away?” He asks as someone approaches, thankfully dragging their friend away while talking about spotting a Twitch streamer as they head in the direction of some poor sod wearing a black and white face covering. You wonder whether that’s their ‘thing’ or if they’re doing it to avoid detection. You wonder if you’ll have to do that with Ralph at some point. His internet fame is becoming less and less of the laugh it first seemed to be with every day.

“You alright?” Anna again checks in with Ralph, who looks slightly bewildered still.

“Should I have responded differently there?” He asks.

You’re quick to answer, “No! No, I think you did the right thing, there.” You then hurriedly follow it up with a, “I mean, dating fans is never a good idea, right?”

“Yeah, not gonna lie, that made me uncomfortable,” Connor cringes. “You handled it way better than me, mate.” Ralph feels a sense of pride at his words. The line starts to move and soon enough, you’re all getting into carriages yourself. 

You make sure you and Ralph are in one near the middle, so he feels safer. Once you’re all strapped in, and the attendant is sure Ralph is, too, you see him already squeezing his eyes half-shut in anticipation. You poke him gently and hold your hand out again. “It’ll be here if you need it, okay?”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, I wouldn’t want to be a -” Ralph starts, but as the coaster jolts into motion he quickly grasps your hand tightly.

Ralph’s half-laugh/half-scream serenades you throughout the whole ride, especially at the loop. Once the ride brings you back upright again, you look over at him. “Was that so bad?”

“Boy, that was exhilarating, wasn’t it?!” He beams, and everyone else cheers for him from their own seats.

“You did it, Ralphie!” “We’re so proud of you, babe!” “Reckon we’ve awoken the thrillseeker in you?” Ralph’s too giddy to answer any of those. 

You can barely get him to stand upright without his legs turning to jelly, unless you get him to hold your arms while you hold his. He falls into your arms with a giddy laugh, and you gently shove him onto his own gait. “Easy, tiger!” You giggle. “God knows what you’re gonna be like on the other rides.”

Once he sees the Crazy Mouse coaster in action, that green hue in his skin returns, so you decide to build his courage up a little more. His face simply turns white when he sees the ghost train. Scott notices and rolls his eyes, “Oh my god, Ralph, don’t even worry about it, this is literally the least scary ride on here.”

His partner pipes up, “Yeah, there’s scarier creatures on the merry-go-round than there are in there!”

“I wonder if they’ve put the face back on that animatronic from last year or not?” You ask, before looking over to Ralph, who looks horrified. “It’s unintentionally the scariest thing there, and it’s not even that bad. Trust me. Remember?” You hold your hand out, wiggling your fingers. “If you need it.”

“What if… People assume?” Ralph asks, trying not to spit the word out with the venom that wants to follow it.

You shrug, “I think your face justifies your need to have someone hold your hand. If you’d rather, you can sit with Connor or Anna, I was just suggesting -” He takes your hand again in silence, and you walk him over to queue up at the ghost train.

The moment the ride takes you into a dark hallway, Ralph buries his face in your shoulder, and you pat his cheek comfortingly. However, as he starts to see the quality of the animatronics (“Was that one being held up by -” “Duct tape, yes.”) and experience how poorly timed the “jump scares” are, he relaxes far more. 

You take him on the twister next, which only ends up throwing your body into his at every convenience, a consequence you’d forgotten in the year since you’d last been on it. Still, he seemed too invested in the adrenaline rush that came with being thrown around in circles to notice your proximity.

After a quick pit stop to eat, and reassurance to Ralph that you weren’t going straight back onto any rides, you go into the arcade. Ralph’s face lights up along with all the games as you explain what ones are. He excitedly tells you that he recognised the fortune teller machine and a strength tester game from his own youth. 

You let the others go on ahead as you and Ralph pay for a go on the fortune teller. It tells you, “A smile is worth a hundred frowns in any market!” You look at Ralph with the biggest smile you can muster, and he returns with one of your favourite expressions of his, the big fake animatronic-style smile that could rival the fortune teller. “And lucky for you, the great Zoltar sees much happiness ahead for you!” You bite your lip at the irony. Does that mean Ralph's happiness, that he’ll be returning home soon? Your happiness, that he’ll be staying? Or is it just a randomly generating machine?

It prints off a fortune and you read it together: You may be riding the winds of change. Things may at times seem to be out of touch. Soon they will come to a better order. As the blessings of health and fortune have a beginning, so they must also find an end. Everything rises but to fall. To make sense of all this, you will find the answer is to be found in how well you relate to people. Looking at the big picture will help shape your long range plans. If things are not always smooth remember that he who could foresee affairs but three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years.

You blow out a long breath of disbelief at how weirdly on the nose that seems to be for you both and quickly pocket it to find the others. Grace is trying to get her new boyfriend to win her a stuffed toy on the cranes. Scott is trying to finesse a coin-pusher game while his partner and Connor play a dance mat game behind him, and Ralph leaves you to watch in awe as Anna plays a pinball machine. She tries to explain the mechanics of it all to him, but it seems to be going entirely over his head.

You play your favourite game for a while, trying to win as many tickets as possible, when Ralph soon joins you as well. “Any luck with pinball?” You ask, and Ralph shakes his head.

“I wasn’t sure how to play it, I didn’t really seem to be doing anything, rather just pushing an awful lot of buttons for the sake of it,” he answers. 

“Sounds like you were playing it right to me!” You laugh. “What do you wanna do now?”

“Well,” he says, excitement obvious in his voice. “I saw one of those photo booths around there…”

You gasp, “Yes! Let’s do it!” before looking around with disappointment. “Ugh, how are we gonna fit everyone in, though?”

“Perhaps we can get individual ones with people across the week?” Ralph suggests.

“Alright,” you nod. “Wanna get some practice in, just us?” Ralph nods back at you, and you both head into the booth.

Once you’ve paid for it, Ralph asks, “Now how does it all work, again?”

“Right, it’ll tell you when - oh, for fuck’s sake,” you groan as it takes a photo of you mid-sentence, and Ralph stifles a laugh. “Okay, quick, when’s it taking anoth- ahh!” Another snap takes you by surprise, and Ralph doesn’t attempt to hide his amusement this time. You throw your hands up in disbelief, “Well, this is a waste now, isn’t it,” before collapsing into laughter yourself.

“I am sorry,” Ralph frowns at you once all four are taken, and you wave him off. 

“Don’t be! I should have set us a game plan from the beginning.” You decide on your poses: a normal, smiley one; a goofy-grinning one; one with both your tongues sticking out; and one where you kiss his cheek. You promise him that it’s not at all scandalous to pose in this way, and that between Grace and Scott, at least one of them would want a photo with him like it anyway so you’re simply getting him geared up for that. You’re promising yourself that more than him, if you’re being honest with yourself.

You end up posing for the first one with your heads touching as you smile gently into the camera. He’s not giving his usual uncomfortable smile, or his disappearing-lip act. It’s just a nice, natural smile. Which is immediately replaced with a fake smile so big, he has to hold himself up on the bench with both of his hands to hold himself at an angle worthy of the grin on his face, which you mirror. When you tell him, “Tongues out!” yours pokes straight out towards the camera, but he lets his loll out to show off the flat of his tongue to the camera instead. You remind him to look ahead for the last one by pointing at the screen, and then holding the cheek furthest from you to push it closer to you, feeling his freshly trimmed down stubble scratch at your lips as you feel them press against the warm flesh of his cheek beneath.

Once all four are done, you quickly get out to make sure both strips are still there to collect. Thankfully, nobody else has seen them, and you pick them both up to study them. You try not to focus on the bottom photo of the second strip, instead looking at the total disaster that is the first strip. Most of them are blurry and far from flattering, but the final one. What is it with the last photo with you two?! You’re laughing, as is Ralph, but the way Ralph is angled, you could just as easily fool yourself into believing that he’s looking at you as though he’s madly in love with you.

As he emerges, he asks, “So, were those first ones completely unusable?”

Quickly tearing off the bottom photo to pocket it, you crumpled up the remaining three and throw them in the bin. “Yeah, pretty much! Here, hold onto these ones, though, and we can put them on the fridge when we get back home.”

Home. Do you mean that to mean your home is Ralph’s, too, or are you speaking on your own terms? Neither of you know, to be honest.

Your friends reconvene around you, and you tell them of yours and Ralph’s plan for each of them to get a mini photoshoot with him, what with it being his first time on this holiday with you all. Everyone happily accepts getting their own photo ops in with Ralph, and you love watching how everyone poses with him. Your personal favourites are Anna teaching him how to throw up deuces as they pull funny faces, Connor teaching him how to make hand horns as they stick their tongues out, Scott and his partner both kissing each of Ralph’s cheeks, and Ralph’s feigned disgust as Grace drapes herself over her boyfriend.

After all that excitement, you decide you’ll return to the rides another day. Instead, you find a nice little Italian place to eat that’s taken over an old cafe you had used to love coming to, but this new restaurant has an even better vibe than its predecessor. That, and Ralph learning how to eat spaghetti through trial and error is hilarious, especially when he decides that the best way is to simply find the ends of as many strands as possible and slurp them all up. The rest of you make a game of picking a strand each and seeing which one lasts the longest.

On the way back, Ralph gets recognised again. Thankfully, this person knows better than to flirt with a total stranger, though Ralph still seems astounded at the whole experience. This fan says something about being able to replace their icon from “the explosion photo”, and so, remembering the one from earlier mentioning an unflattering picture, once you’re all back at the house you look through Ralph’s follower list and burst into laughter. 

It seems as though his fans have taken a screenshot of his disdain after microwaving the egg and made it their profile pictures. Some have left it as is, with your kitchen in the background. Some have added further explosions and other phenomena in the background. Ralph is the only one who doesn’t see the funny side, the disappointment returning to his expression.

With a sigh, you promise him, yet again, that there is no need to be upset. You’re not upset with him, the flat was easily cleaned, the microwave remains functional. You understand that this comes from years of being raised poorly, but having to constantly remind Ralph that you aren’t mad at him, is ironically the thing that frustrates you the most about him.

The next day, after again waking up to Ralph practically on the edge of his side of the bed, you decide to go to the Lanes to explore some of the vintage shops. Mostly, for your own amusement, you want to watch Ralph react to what is considered “vintage”, but you know you’re going to have to rein it in around everyone else. The day flies by in a montage of trying on ridiculously old clothes, ones that even Ralph turns his nose up at, trying to find the most cursed old toys in every shop, and Ralph trying desperately to stifle his excitement every time he recognises something from his own time period. Ralph gets recognised again by a young, tall blonde boy and his shorter brunette friend, though those two soon get accosted themselves, which allows you to get Ralph away to the safety of a quieter shop.

After your shopping excursion, you return to the pier to play some more games, this time from the attractions around the pier. Thankfully, Ralph seems far more confident walking on it, so there’s no need for you to offer any hand-holding services - although it does already feel strange walking around with both hands empty. You manage to win a stuffed animal on a throwing game, and Ralph decides his skill set is best utilised playing hook-a-duck - though he throws the person running the game off of their rhythm when the prize he asks for is to keep the duck itself, as Ralph personally has no use for stuffed animals. The person running the game, totally baffled, ends up letting Ralph keep the rubber duck, which he seems thrilled about, placing the hook over his finger and letting the duck swing from it with great delight.

“I think I get why cats like him so much,” Connor comments from where he’s stood just behind you as you watch Ralph. “You know how you can buy them all the expensive toys they want but they just wanna play in the box?” You snort with laughter in agreement. “He’s just one of them.”

While Ralph insists on everyone referring to the duck by its name, Clarence, he apparently draws the line at your joke of offering to pay for him to shoot a photo booth reel with his new friend. He looks at you with disapproval at that one.

You still utilise Clarence in his own way, though. Everywhere you go from that point onwards, you take a photo of the duck in that area, and then post it to Ralph’s Instagram story for him, though you only do so once you’re no longer in that place, for obvious reasons.

That evening, at the house, Connor tells Ralph he’s got a surprise for him, and to close his eyes and hold his hands out. Your heart swells when you see that Connor, who had excitedly spent the best portion of an hour in a music shop, has bought Ralph his own ukulele. Ralph looks close to tears at the gift. “Oh, Connor, I couldn’t possibly -”

“None of that, you can and you will,” Connor states simply while pointing at him, and Ralph shrinks down in defeat, opting instead to look at the ukulele with marvel. You all spend the night listening to Ralph play his chords, everyone occasionally offering lyrics to the tunes he was playing. God, he fits in so well with you all. It’s going to be so heartbreaking to tell them all when it’s his time to leave.

You wonder if the window of opportunity will only be open while you’re away. It’s a risk you’ve had to take to make sure he stays safe, since he literally only proved days ago that he still can’t be trusted unsupervised. What if you miss it? Would he resent you? Would it cause some insane rip in the time-space continuum? There’s really not a lot of solid research into this whole time travel business.

The next morning, you’re shocked to awaken to Ralph’s face dangerously close to yours as it rests on the inner half of his pillow. You could count his eyelashes, they were that close. You could connect his freckles, they were that close. His lips twitch ever so slightly in his sleep as you’re studying his face. His face that’s so close to yours. His lips that are -

You quickly take yourself out of that trance and practically throw yourself down the stairs, you’re that quick to leave the room, and those thoughts.

Ralph awakens, sadly, from a dream where you’re happy to have him in your arms to find himself near enough in the middle of the bed. He wonders exactly how he got there. You’re already awake, because of course, you always are. You don’t lie awake for almost an hour every night trying desperately to stay as rigidly far away from the centre of the bed as possible.

When Ralph arrives for breakfast, the group have already decided that today is more of a lazy day. They’ll go out later, of course, but there’s no rush. Just a day spent at the house, playing more board games and listening to both Connor and Ralph playing the ukulele as Connor teaches him how to teach himself actual songs. You even post Ralph’s first photo dump to his Instagram account:

As fun as it is to get out and experience another city, especially getting to do so with Ralph for the first time, you make just as many memories on this rest day. Memories like Ralph not only playing Jackbox for the first time, but somehow winning several games. Memories like watching Grace and her boyfriend playing board games as if they’d been married for years, even though she wrongfully accuses you and Ralph of playing the same way.

In the last hour of sunlight, you realise something. “I haven’t found my rock for this year, yet!”

Ralph looks at you strangely. “Your what?” Before answering his own question. “Do you mean that shelf full of stones in the bedroom has a purpose?”

“Yes! Every year, I find myself a cool-looking rock to take back. It’s tradition,” you explain with a gesture. “Plus, it gets us all out of the house at least once.”

“W’re all goin’ out la’er,” Connor groans from where he lays across the sofa he’s been sleeping on, beneath a mountain of crisps he’s been making his way through.

“At least twice then, lazybones,” you comment, but almost everyone else is happy to stay home.

Everyone except Ralph, who hurriedly gets his shoes on. Of course, it’s just you and Ralph. Alone. Far away from home. Nothing could possibly go wrong, here.

Thankfully, you’re on a mission, here. You can distract yourself with the task of finding the best looking rock on the beach. It can’t just be the first cool rock you see, oh no. It has to be the best one. That’s always been your rule.

Ralph tries to help, but honestly, a puppy would be less excitable. He keeps grabbing the first rock he can, running up to you to ask, “Is this useful?” to which the answer is almost always “no”, and so he simply throws it back to the ground and looks again. There are three separate occasions where he shows you ones he’s already asked you about. But he’s having fun, and he looks adorable, and maybe tonight you’ll be able to delude yourself into a happy little dream where Ralph’d be happy to do anything for you. Though perhaps not quite anything, that sort of dream would have to be reserved for a time when you’re not sharing a bed with him.

You thump the side of your head with the heel of your hand, as though you’re trying to knock the idea out of your brain. There is absolutely no time and place for those kind of thoughts.

At one point, Ralph sees a young child throwing rocks one at a time into the sea, with great delight. Ralph also seems highly entertained by it, and when the kid looks over at him, he decides to join in by grabbing a whole handful of rocks and throwing them all into the water at once. The kid thinks this is the most hilarious thing they’ve ever seen before. Ralph seems happy enough to keep doing it until the kid’s parents take them away. You’re happy to just sit back on the ground and watch Ralph, taking photos and videos of this moment. 

 Ralph soon joins you where you sit, laughing breathlessly. “Oh, what a joy that was!”

“You certainly looked as though you were having a blast,” you simper. “Though if you threw away the ultimate rock amongst all of that, I may never forgive you,” you add in a sarcastic deadpan.

“I would completely understand,” Ralph nods back, unable to keep up any monotony for any amount of time before snorting with laughter. He looks out at the horizon, pointing out how the sky looks now that the sun is starting to set. “Don’t see that very often in London,” he frowns.

You shake your head, “Nah, it’s usually too cloudy. Not that different here, we’ve just caught a good moment. Looks nice, doesn’t it, all reflecting on the water and that?” You cock your head to the side and sigh happily. “Could sit here for hours watching it.”

Ralph tenses up, trying desperately not to think of how your head just rests against his arm, the weight of it still pressing down on the padded sleeve of his coat enough for him to feel it. He swallows hard, “Yes, it’s too bad that the sunset doesn’t last long at all, isn’t it?”

“You’re telling me,” you add with a soft smile before sitting up. “That’s why I wanted to try and get to the beach now, to get to see it at least once. ’m glad you came with me,” you muse before suddenly realising you’re treading into dangerous territory here. To save yourself, you quickly add, “Y’know, so that you get to see it too, while you’re still here. Since you were saying you haven’t been on a holiday like this since you were a kid. Maybe you can go on more of them once you’re back.”

“Maybe,” Ralph replies emotionlessly.

You sit in relative silence as you watch the sky together. You get a “golden hour” selfie with Ralph, mostly to teach him about it, though he says that he doesn’t see much difference between that photo and most of the others you’ve taken in the past. After realising that he’s brought it with him in his pocket, too, you spend a good few minutes laughing along with Ralph as you try to find the most photogenic angle of Clarence the duck to add to his photo collection.

Once the view stops being quite so aesthetically pleasing, you stop off at the pier again to buy some sugared doughnuts to share with Ralph as you make your way over to the pub that you plan to meet your friends at. You love this pub as another of your holiday traditions, because Wednesday nights are karaoke nights. You wonder whether Ralph’ll feel confident enough to sing along to any modern songs. The mental image of Ralph taking to the mic to sing along to Taylor Swift with his entire chest is enough to make you laugh out loud, which confuses Ralph, but you opt to not tell him, merely shaking your head and covering your mouth instead.

To your disappointment when you get there, the pub no longer does karaoke, but Wednesdays are now pub quiz nights. You still stick around for dinner, and after a couple of drinks, you end up signing up for the quiz, for a laugh. None of you expect to get very far, but Grace’s boyfriend really pulls through with sports questions, and even Ralph ends up answering the question that ultimately wins the whole quiz for you, one about a specific style of shoes that had rendered the rest of you clueless.

Everyone ends up watching your group celebrating Ralph. The leaders of the second-place team, an older blonde man and a dark-haired woman he refers to as his wife, even join in with their own congratulations.

 A pair of young women offer to buy Ralph a drink, to which Connor starts encouraging Ralph to go with them. You very quickly make conversation about the rest of the week’s plans with Anna and Grace to distract yourself, but Ralph doesn’t seem interested, much to your confusion. You look around at your friends, who all seem to be exchanging their own looks to each other, but none of them seem to want to look at you. You shake your head and make your way to the bathroom, scoffing indignantly at the two men who barge past you to get to the door next to you.

After a few minutes of silent pep talk to remind yourself that you have no right to feel bad if Ralph expresses interest in someone else, Anna comes in specifically to find her. After promising her a full eight times that you’re absolutely fine, you both head back out to the group, where Scott had brought along a game from the house that you can all play together. You notice Ralph isn’t there, but you don’t bring it up. You’re not his keeper, after all.

~~~

“Ah, ladies, this is quite an honour, obviously, but I am out with friends and it would be rather impolite to just leave them!” Ralph explains hurriedly to the two women who have approached him to congratulate him on his efforts.

“I dunno, your mate there seems pretty keen for you to come over,” one smirks in Connor’s direction.

“I must insist, I could never live with myself for taking advantage of such generous women as yourselves, though I am deeply grateful that you should wish to spend your night in my company! I’m afraid I’m very much not from around here, and so I would get frightfully lost without my friends to guide me home,” Ralph blabbers, getting more and more flustered.

“Maybe you can come back to mine, then?” The other asks, looking suggestively at him as she touches his arm. It’s a gentle contact, but it electrifies Ralph at high voltage as he yelps, pulling it away.

“Truly flattered, but I am a gentleman first and foremost and so I simply must decline such an offer, and I shan’t be staying long enough to court you appropriately, but I wish you both very well in your endeavours!” Ralph practically shouts as he turns on his heel and quickly makes his way to the toilets. 

Ralph walks in on quite a sight. Two men, reasonably bigger than himself, bent double over the sinks. “Pardon me,” Ralph calls out, with the intention on simply throwing some water on his face as a wake-up call of sorts, but the men jump up in surprise at the sound of his voice.

“Ain’t nothing to see here, mate, jog on,” one says, trying to square up against Ralph.

“Sorry, gents, just wanted a quick go at the sink, and then I’ll be out of your hair, I promise!” He smiles brightly, completely oblivious. He catches sight of a line of white powder along the counter and chuckles to himself as he recognises it as cocaine, thinking back to previous parties he’d held at Penbury House.

The first man growls, “Find something funny?”

“Oh, just reminiscing. It’s been a while since I’ve seen… You know,” his eyes flash over to the substance on the counter. “Just fondly remembering old times.”

“Oi, ain’t no way this toff’s a user,” the second man shakes his head.

The first one snarls with a smile, "You a copper?"

"Heavens, no!" Ralph laughs. "Not to worry, gentleman, I'm no telltale, your secret is safe with me!"

"I'm not buying it," the second one looks at Ralph with an upturned nose. "I reckon he's a snitch."

"Well, only one way to prove it, innit," the first one grins uncomfortably at Ralph as he gestures towards the counter. "Care to join us?" he asks in a voice that mocks Ralph's.

“Well, if you insist, I - straight from the counter?” Ralph asks in disgust, but the chorusing snarl answers him quite adequately. “I suppose beggars can’t be choosers!”

Just as he finishes the first line, he’s interrupted by a loud, “RALPH! Fucking hell, get your head out of there! What the fuck is wrong with you two dickheads?!” Connor grabs Ralph by the back of his jumper and throws him back. “You alright? How much have you had?”

“Oh please, it was barely even a full line, it’s nothing,” Ralph insists, to both Connor and Scott’s baffled expressions.

“We don’t have time to unpack that right now,” Connor throws Ralph in Scott’s direction at the emphasis, causing Ralph to trip over his own feet through both of the steps it takes to get there, and Scott catches him, trying to get a good look at his eyes. Connor turns to the two men. “Alright, look.”

“Don’t know that I feel up to much talking,” one snarls.

Connor pulls a sarcastic expression. “Oh yeah, beat a guy up in the same room your coke’s still out for the world to see, good one(!) Shut the fuck up, yeah? We didn’t see anything, neither did you. Just - I mean, what the fuck were you thinking, giving your shit away for free, to him?!”

The man shrugs, “Had to call his bluff, innit? Thought he was a narc.”

“Well, you thought wrong, didn’t you,” Connor sneers, remaining sarcastic as ever. “Just… Clean up and get the fuck out of here, yeah? C’mon,” he gestures for Scott and Ralph, who’s already starting to bounce on the balls of his feet, to get out.

~~~

Once you finally see all three boys re-emerge from the bathroom, as you’d asked the other two to check on Ralph, you notice something off amongst them. Ralph seems in far higher spirits than the others. You get up to meet them halfway and notice something white and powder-y on the edge of Ralph’s nostril. “The fuck is that?!” You ask incredulously.

Scott looks over and quickly pulls his shirt sleeve down to wipe at Ralph’s nose with it. “Nothing!” He lilts, though his expression as he flashes his eyes at you confirms your worst fears about it. Scott mutters, “We need to get him to a hospital.”

“No!” You and Ralph chorus loudly. You shush the man and hurriedly lie, “No, you’ve not seem him in a hospital, he’s fucking useless, faints the second he gets in, he hates it all, honestly. Give him here, just - I’ll take him back to the house, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“I promise you all, I am fine, I’ve done far more than that in my years!” Ralph states. “Can we please just return to our night?”

“Respectfully, mate, you don’t know what this shit’s been laced with,” Connor warns. “I’m with Scott, I think hospital’s the best place.”

“And I’m telling you, it really fucking isn’t,” you hiss back at them. “He just needs to get back home so he can’t make any more bad decisions.” Ralph frowns at your words, but you ignore him.

“Alright, we’ll pack up,” Scott starts, but you stop him.

“No, no.” You sigh, “Look, it’s still your holiday, too. I’ll take him back, I’ll keep you guys updated, but you lot just enjoy the night without us, okay?”

“We really don’t mind,” Connor shakes his head, but you persist.

“Honestly. Just…Hang on a second.” You return to the table, spinning a tale of how Ralph’s got a migraine and so you’re going to take him home as you put your outdoor clothes on. Everyone still at the table calls out well-wishes for Ralph as you make your way back to him, informing the boys of what you’ve said, and you lead Ralph out of the door into the brisk evening air.

You walk in silence, not knowing what to say. You’re concerned about Ralph, obviously, but you’re also just so mad at him for doing something so stupid. Who accepts some rando’s offer of coke off a random pub sink?! What the fuck was he thinking?! And now, everyone else is enjoying their holiday while you spend it the way you spend every single day - babysitting a 25 year old man who acts without consequence because he doesn’t bear them, you do. You may as well be at home with him.

“You know,” Ralph finally breaks the silence as you walk up the street that the house is on, “I’m not a child. I knew what I was doing.”

You sigh, “Free drugs is a massive red flag, Ralph. You could have gotten into some serious shit.”

“Well clearly not if we’re just going straight back to the house,” he points out.

“Okay, Ralph, what do you want me to say when we get to the hospital? ‘Hi, I’ve got a man here who needs drugs pumped out of his system. Name? Ralph Penbury. Date of birth? February 1st 1901. Oh, what’s that? You’ve got him marked as being dead for the last 96 years? Then what’s he doing stood here?!’” Ralph goes quiet up until you get to the front door, where you press your hands into your face and groan. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Ralph. I shouldn’t have snapped like that, that wasn’t fair. I know you can’t help… That bit. But you can say no to drugs, surely?!” More silence. With a sad sigh, you unlock the door and let Ralph go ahead. “Want me to make you a cup of tea?” You ask, and he nods before running up the stairs.

You kick yourself internally for upsetting Ralph before then arguing with yourself. Why should you be apologising? You were right. It’s your holiday, too, and he should have thought more carefully. You have every right to be upset, yourself. But you’ll forgive Ralph for that, the way you always do, because you already know you’re going to lose him at some point, and that’s going to be painful enough, and if you can put it off for as long as possible, you’re going to. 

He pads back into the kitchen in his pyjamas, looking at you with his big doe eyes as you hand him a hot mug full of tea. “It seems to be the ordinary stuff,” he states, “because it’s only just about affecting me. Same way it always does.”

“Did you… Do it often?” You ask slowly. “To cope with stuff?”

“Heavens, no, it’s no coping mechanism!” He shakes his head. “Cocaine’s always been a staple at Penbury socials. It’s… Acquiring and using it was always the thing people liked having me around for,” he explains quietly as he takes a big sip from his mug. “It barely affects me these days, just makes me… More likeable, I suppose.”

Of course there’s a dreadfully sad story to go along with this. Just more fuel for you to feel bad about snapping at him. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders as he continues drinking. “You know how much we all like having you around the way you are, Ralph. I mean, we might be able to make a citizen out of you yet if we just claim you as Scott and his partner’s adopted child!” You joke, and Ralph lets out a small, breathy laugh. 

“It’s… Hard to believe, still. Sometimes. Sorry,” he mutters, leaning down to rest his head against yours.

“You have to trust us, Ralphie,” you squeeze him gently, “that’s part of having friends. You like having us around, right?” He nods violently. “Right! So part of making sure we stay around is knowing we want to. If you don’t trust that people wanna be your friend, they’re gonna assume you don’t want them to be.”

“Is that what Scott and Connor will think of me, now?” he asks sadly.

“Well no, because they don’t know… That, what you’ve just told me.”

Even more quietly, he asks, “…Do you -?”

“Are you really asking me if I want you around?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at him. “Have I not done enough to prove my case there?!”

“More than,” he admits, still quiet. He takes another long sip and asks, “Does the TV here have all the films that we would have back at home?”

“Wanna watch Little Shop of Horrors while you come down?” You ask, amused, as Ralph nods in response. You let him curl up to lay his head on your lap as you both watch the film from the sofa Connor’s been sleeping on, Ralph’s foot tapping against the arm of it along with each song.

The rest of the gang return just before the movie ends, and they’re all happy to see that Ralph looks in relatively good condition. The pair of you retire to the bed soon after. Too tired to change out of your day clothes, you simply crawl into your side and sleep, forgetting to wish Ralph goodnight in your exhaustion.

You all decide that Thursday shall be another day on the pier, with Friday being a packing-up day due to the night out you have planned, so that you don’t have to worry about packing with a hangover and can head back as soon as you’re feeling well enough to on Saturday.

You start the day out in the arcade again, firstly making sure that you, Anna, Grace, Scott and Connor get your annual photos in the booth as per every year for as long as you can remember. You show Ralph and the others photos you have on your phone of reels from years past, to which they take great delight in seeing you all in younger years. “It’s nice to have friends that last,” Ralph smiles, and it makes your heart sink. Comments like that help your brain to justify keeping Ralph around regardless. He needs to be here, with his friends, with the people he loves and who love him. There’s been no major consequence so far. You start to wonder if there ever would be.

You quickly pull yourself from that train of thought, instead opting for the certainty of being out with your friends. Grace pulls Ralph towards the dance mats, itching to teach him, and you allow yourself to stand back with Grace’s boyfriend to watch them. Ralph may stomp on each arrow with such force that the ground shakes beneath you, but there’s no way you can comment on that when his face is lit up that much.

You lose track of him when Connor pulls him away to show him a shooting game, instead opting to go for one of the coin-pushers yourself. It seems as though Ralph also didn’t last long with that particular game, nor does he have the patience to wait for your tactical plays as he starts grabbing coins from your pot and placing them in the slots from behind you excitedly. You giggle uncontrollably as he keeps putting coins in and smugly adding the occasional, “See?” when a whole pile drops.

It’s only when you feel your back collide against his chest that you’re brought back to your senses, and you tug at his arm until you’re standing beside him instead, trying to keep your tone playful with an, “Alright, then, if you wanna play that way, don’t let me stop you!” as you find another game that’s easy ticket fodder.

Eventually, you tell Ralph that it’s time for him to face his ultimate fear, that you’re all going to ride the Crazy Mouse roller coaster. He nods, still agreeing to go on it with you all, though he remains quiet. Once you’re in the line for it, you try and brush your hand against his again to let him know you’re there for him, but he makes no attempt to hold it. You hope it’s because he’s getting braver, but his stoic expression doesn’t exactly give you that impression.

Since today is warmer than the others, none of you had really decided to wear hats today, which makes the state you all end up in after being spun and thrown around the roller coaster track all the more hilarious. Ralph’s curls especially are in full force, sticking up in all directions, which the fans who recognise him today point out a lot. You notice there are more today than ever before and check his name on Twitter to see your suspicions confirmed - people are starting to publicly announce sightings of Ralph in the wild, which is leading to people congregating with the sheer hopes of seeing him out in the wild. You’re not sure how many more of these appearances you can take.

You return to the hook-a-duck stall so that Ralph can proudly show off Clarence to the man running the stall. A young man with a mullet pouts about how he was told that he wasn’t “allowed” to keep a duck, even though it matched the red beanie his friend is wearing even today. The man behind the stall simply explains that Ralph was more charming, to the hat-wearer’s amusement.

You go back to playing more games until the people working the arcade inform you that it’s nearly closing time. All of you band your tickets together and divide them fairly to redeem a prize each, though Ralph insists that he doesn’t get a share. He is more than happy with Clarence alone. If only you’d known sooner that the best way to placate Ralph would be to stick a hook in a rubber duck’s head.

Connor picks a box that contains fuzzy car dice, “for a laugh”. It certainly does raise a lot of laughs when he opens the box to find that the ones he’s ended up with are pink, but he shrugs it off. Scott and his partner pick out as many Pokémon cards as their tickets will allow them to, Grace gets a toy monkey with magnets in its hands and feet while her boyfriend picks out an inflatable guitar. Despite having already won a rather large teddy at the can game the other day, you take pity on another soft toy that clearly looks like it got into a fight with the manufacturer and came out losing, opting to take it home with you. Ralph looks at it fearfully, and you shake it at him jokingly.

Friday holds the weight of being the last full day away. Everything feels as though it's happening in slow motion, that it isn't in real time. It doesn’t entirely help that the day is filled with the mundane act of packing until the real thing to look forward to later tonight, which now feels eons away.

 When it finally reaches lunchtime, you talk the others into getting delivery. “Whatever happened to the ‘we should get out of the house, lazybones’ mentality, eh?” Connor teases.

“Do you feel up to being there while Ralph gets accosted by fans again?” you ask bluntly. “Besides, you should see Twitter today, it’s obsessive,” you pull a face of disgust as you scroll through posts to show your friends.

“These people need Jesus,” pipes up Grace’s boyfriend.

“You said it, babe,” Grace herself adds. “Surprised they haven’t realised he’s staying here and started camping out.” Scott tentatively looks out of the window, but nods in relief to confirm that nobody’s waiting out there.

You decide to make it the feast to end all feasts, each of you ordering food from different places and all sitting amongst your plethora of food to talk about your highlights of the whole trip, compare photos and overall just enjoy each others’ company. Even Ralph seems to perk up, which you’re glad about. He’d been pretty reserved all morning, which makes sense given how dull the day’s events have been, but you’re glad to see that there isn’t something else keeping him quiet.

Finally, the night is upon you. Everyone’s promised that they’ll all be on watch in case anyone tries to approach Ralph, either weird fanatic or potential danger, so that you can just switch off and enjoy your last night before returning to London.

You feel as though you may get to really enjoy it when you catch the attention of a man who’s far from unattractive. He keeps making eye contact with you from where he’s stood at the bar and flashing his eyes in invitation. After a few pep talks with the girls, who seem a little hesitant at first but soon warm to the idea of you having a night where you finally get to flirt and be flirted with, and just get to feel special for a night. And who knows, maybe that’ll be all it is. Maybe you won’t even spend your last night back at the house. After all, what’s a holiday for if not to live totally differently to how you would at home?

When you finally approach the bar, he smirks, “Look who finally made a decision!”

“Look who’s already blowing their shot!” you reply in the same lilted tone, making him laugh. You exchange names and he offers to buy you a drink. This is everything you’ve been needing to fill your confidence gauge - mostly banter, with the occasional ice-breaker question and the more than occasional compliment thrown your way. And honestly, the way he already matches your wit without you constantly needing to explain yourself, or reassure that you’re joking, just makes him even more attractive in the moment.

Ralph watches on from a distance, absolutely seething. Of course, you deserve to be happy. He knows that. He knows that you clearly wouldn’t be happy with him, and that’s why you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length, constantly putting the time travelling situation between you and him. But Ralph absolutely cannot stand to see it happening in front of his eyes. And so, with nothing stopping him, he marches over to you and taps your arm. “Hello!”

Not expecting any interruptions, you jolt, “Jesus, Ralph, you scared the shit out of me! Uh, yeah, this is Ralph, my - flatmate,” you explain.

“That’s right, we live together back at home as well as here!” Ralph beams falsely at the other man. “So, what are we talking about?”

The man laughs awkwardly under his breath as he shuffles in place and you say through gritted teeth, “Uh, Ralph, do you think maybe Connor wants to talk to you?”

“Oh, heavens, no, he’s got a pair of young women on the go himself, the dog!” Ralph scoffs.

“Seems as though two is an awful lot of people for just one of him to manage. Think you could take one off his hands?” you ask, again trying to make it very obvious that you want him to leave.

He doesn’t seem to be taking the hint, though. “Oh, I’d only interrupt them!”

“How terrible that would be.” You deadpan, before addressing the man you’d been talking to. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here,” he tips his glass to you. “Don’t forget, it’s your turn to buy the next round!”

You shoot him a flirtatious smile and grab Ralph’s wrist to tug him away. “Listen, Ralph, mate, I think maybe… You should spend tonight more around one of the others, than with me. Yeah?”

“But what if I slip up and mention something about… The situation at hand?” he asks, gesturing at himself.

You tut exasperatedly, “I dunno, then maybe… Just really try not to bring it up? It’s not that hard, you haven’t done it yet. I just… I really needed this, Ralph. Please?”

“Are you going to leave me in the bed alone tonight?” he asks quietly. Sadly.

You sigh. “I dunno. Maybe? We’re all adults here, Ralph, you’ve spent long enough being able to sleep in my bed by yourself, I’m sure someone else’s won’t be too different.” You find Grace, who’s with her boyfriend and Anna, and park Ralph with all of them before returning to your date for the evening.

Ralph’s only half-listening to whatever everyone else is talking about. His attention is laser-focused on that man. His hair is the same colour as Ralph’s, and it’s curly just like his, but there’s more of it. His eyes are the same colour as Ralph’s, but they’re obscured with glasses. He’s taller than Ralph, and he makes you laugh more than Ralph does, and if the cup he’s holding was made of anything other than glass, Ralph would have certainly squeezed it out of shape by now, if not broken it entirely.

While the girls take a momentary bathroom break, Grace’s boyfriend nudges Ralph. “You alright, mate? You look like the nerves are taking over. Wanna do a couple shots with me? It’ll take the edge off.”

Ralph agrees, hoping that perhaps the blanket of numbness over his brain that only alcohol causes will keep it quiet. Grace’s boyfriend has already paid for the shots when Ralph looks at them in horror. The last time he saw a shot glass filled with clear liquid, it resulted in all kinds of emotions. Still, perhaps it’s another clear spirit. Perhaps it won’t make Ralph feel the way he did that night.

Or maybe this is also vodka, and once both the shots that Ralph takes hit, perhaps he’s on his way back over to you. “Hello, again!”

You look at your date with resignation. He looks back at you with sympathy. It’s him who regards the new third wheel in the conversation, “Alright, mate? Ralph, isn’t it? How you doing?”

Ralph pays him no attention at all. “I fear I have once again gotten myself into a predicament,” he tells you.

“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can get yourself out of it,” you flash warning eyes at Ralph to get back to literally anyone else.

He shakes his head, “No, no, it’s, um. It’s something you had explained to me. What are the different drinks that make me feel different things, again?”

You hold your hand to your head. “Ralph, mate… Do you feel as if something’s been put in your drink, or…?”

“I’m not sure what that would feel like,” he frowns, “but you know these things better than I do!”

“Here, look,” the man you’d been talking to stands up straight. So tall. “This has been great. Really great. But I think your flatmate needs you tonight, so… I’ll see you around, yeah?”

You shake your head dejectedly. “We literally go back to London first thing in the morning.”

He frowns at you sympathetically. “You’ve got a phone though, right?” You take it out to find that it’s out of battery.

You curse internally, “Knew there was something I forgot to do tonight. I’m so sorry.”

“Well. Perhaps in another time. It was lovely meeting you.” He looks Ralph up and down with a slight look of jealous defeat. “You too, mate,” he adds to Ralph through gritted teeth before stroking your arm once more, letting it linger for as long as possible until he walks away.

Something in you finally snaps. Every part of you is just… So done with Ralph right now. And he has the audacity to perk up again once it’s just the two of you?! “What the fuck was that about, Ralph?!”

“Well, I was just going to say that Grace’s… Gentleman friend had bought me some of those shots and I think they’re the sort that have the effect on me that you remember better than I,” Ralph explains with a slight shrug.

You shake your head. “Nah, nah, there’s more to it than that. I made it very clear that I was hitting it off with him, and I just wanted a night where I could -” You cut yourself off, but Ralph feels the tension, soaking it in himself.

“Oh, go on and get it over with, won’t you?” Ralph asks, once again playing the sad card. “It’s obvious there’s things you want to say to me, just say them to my face, please.”

“Okay, you know that’s not fair when you pull that shit, because then it makes me feel bad when I am allowed to be pissed off at you!” you snap. “You want me to say it to your face?! Alright, how’s about this, then. Having you at my ankles 24/7 is fucking exhausting, Ralph. I can’t even go on one night out and talk to one person that isn’t you, I - I didn’t sign up to be some random guy’s mother -”

“I do not see you like I would Mother!” Ralph defends, offence very obvious in his expression.

“Then why am I the one always cooking for you, always cleaning for you, always fucking working overtime because I’m paying for your bills and your food and your clothes -”

“Because, as you keep telling me, I’m not a real person here!” Ralph hisses through his teeth.

“It’s not just that, though, it’s the attitude that comes with it. You are so used to your little rich boy life that you don’t see how much I’m going through. My back is in constant fucking agony from months on that godawful sofa. I don’t get a single day off to myself anymore. I mean, fuck, you’ve had more dates than I have since you got here! I supported you putting yourself out there, even though it was one of the stupidest risks you could have taken -”

“Well, it’s a good job that didn’t work out then, isn’t it? Because once again, nobody wants anything to do with Ral-”

“Here it is again. I can’t just feel something, you have to also be feeling it twice as hard so that you’re the focus here, I - I can’t have anything for myself anymore!” you shout exasperatedly. “Not even one night where for once, I get to feel wanted. I - y’know, everyone fucking falls at their feet for you, you’ve even had people ask you out while we’re here! And nothing was stopping you if you wanted to! But the moment I want to indulge in the idea that maybe someone out there would show an interest in me -”

Ralph scoffs, “That man was only interested in one thing to do with you, and it’s much too vulgar. You deserve to be courted in the appropriate -”

“We’re not in the 1920s anymore, Ralph!” You press your fingers to your temples. “It’s not a bad thing for someone to just… Want you like that. And even then, let’s hash this out. Let’s say I could have been courted by him. You think someone like that is gonna think I’m worth sticking around for when I’ve got another man constantly in my shadow, fighting for my attention? I mean, fuck, what are you gonna do without me when you go back, eh?”

“Ah, again with the going home!” Ralph’s voice is audibly slurring by now. “It’s all you ever want to talk about with me, just tell me the truth already, it’ll hurt less. Tell me you can’t wait to be rid of me.”

“For fuck’s sake, Ralph, I don’t want you gone! Far fucking from it! But I’m not gonna mess with shit we know nothing about, and putting everything back where it was is logically the best thing to do.”

Ralph looks on the verge of crying. “So, that’s it, then. I’m not even worth a -one, I’m just a -thing now.”

“No, that’s not -” You take a deep breath. “Look. We’re going off on tangents that don’t even make fucking sense now. I’m going back to the house. To the bed, don’t worry your fragile little head, I’m not gonna go stand on a street corner like the harlot I am,” you pull a face, blinking back your own tears. “Thank you for ruining the one week a year I actually look forward to.”

You storm away from Ralph, though you find most of the group congregated together at the bar. You stop by them to explain that you and Ralph got into a fight, that you don’t want to talk about it but could they please just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. They promise that they will, and so you head out of the bar, straight into one of the parked taxis and finally let yourself cry as it drives you back to the house.

next chapter

[the-power-of-stuff]

thoughts on the changes are to sukka in the live action?

Hi! Thank you so much for this ask! I love this ask, cuz after I watched "Warriors," I immediately went to a bunch of my mutuals screaming "GUYS I have SO MANY THOUGHTS" but I was reluctant to share beyond that group until you opened this door. <3

That said, I really have SO many thoughts. But I'll try to summarize for the purposes of this ask, and if you're interested in reading me rambling on in more detail for 2.5k words, I made a separate post about it here: https://www.tumblr.com/the-power-of-stuff/743357633226031104/the-live-action-sukka-manifesto-that-i-just

Spoilers below!

The more I sit with this episode, and the more I think back on the original, the more endeared I become to OG Sokka and Suki and their relationship from the animated show. I love sassy Suki. I love Sokka also being sassy but then showing us and Suki not only that he is very capable of growth and change, but how badly he desires those things for himself. His growth trajectory is not quite so broad in the live-action version, and thus his training with Suki is a bit less impactful story-wise.

That said, I did have a lot of fun with live-action Sukka. I'm not immune to the fan service they gave us, and I thought Suki's characterization was adorable. She's very different! I realized while writing the above-linked dissertation just how different. And I think her live-action personality fits for the changes that were made to the story and her environment—the fact that she's not a scrappy orphan, but rather the sheltered daughter of a fierce and protective fighter.

And I think I'm generally okay with this change because it made Sokka and Suki's interactions so delightful. There was so much awkward romantic tension, and it was the kind of stuff that Sukka shippers have been trying to squeeze into missing "Warriors of Kyoshi" scenes fic for the past 19 years (oof, that made me feel really old, sorry everyone).

I was disappointed that we didn't get to see Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform. Less disappointed than I would've been had I not seen the fight scenes in the trailer and noticed he was still in his regular clothes. I think that gave me time to set my expectations low. And actually, the thing I was most poised to be disappointed about was a thing that didn't happen. When I first saw the trailer, I noticed a moment where Suki steps in front of Sokka to block a fire blast, and I thought this was going to replace the moment where Sokka jumps in front of Suki to protect her from a fire blast.

And because I felt like that moment was so crucial for Sokka's character and his relationship with Suki, the idea that we weren't going to get it was more heartbreaking to me than the lack of Sokka in uniform. However...!

Lo and behold, they didn't take this moment away from us, and the instant I saw this on screen, all past transgressions were forgiven lol. Like, honestly, the relief I felt... And we still get to see him use a fan! Even if he's not in makeup.

I go into some more critical analysis in the link above, but overall, I enjoyed what we got from live-action Sukka because I'm a sucker for all the glances and touches and near-kisses. I'm a sucker for all the tenderness they showed to each other right before they went out and kicked firebender ass together. They feel different in a lot of ways from animated Sukka, but I thought it was an interesting interpretation!

And I have a lot of questions about what the changes to their interactions might mean for the future development of their relationship (for example, the fact that they've already had a proper first kiss, and what that means in terms of how Sokka will process his fear and guilt and his feelings for Suki after losing Yue). But I'm curious more than anything about how those things will be handled. And I think it'll be neat if we get to see it.

[mullet-man05]

Hello!

I only just now realized I should have an intro!

On the internet I go by either D or Mullet (either works), and here's where I put all the stuff I like (mostly SFW). I'm an adult living in the USA.

Here are some facts about me:

I use he/him pronouns

As you can tell from my bio, I am God's least diverse soldier

Despite that, if you're in any way transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic, racist, antisemitic, Islamophobic, or bigoted you aren't welcome, get the fuck off my blog

I live in the USA

I use Pacific time (synced to Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle)

I really enjoy, in no particular order: Legend of Zelda, Star Wars, LotR, Nichijou, Control, Seinfeld, college sports (especially football (not soccer)), D&D, Metroid, How To Train Your Dragon (just the books), Ultrakill, The Big Lebowski, The Simpsons, Ni no Kuni, and more

I am absolutely terrible at tagging, sorry. #me is for my thoughts (always based), #fuchsia is for stuff with my wonderful girlfriend @lurker-at-thresholds (love you <3), #ask is for asks, and #kiraposting is for stuff with my most awful and despicable enemy @beatbybaseballs (FUCK YOU)

IRL I enjoy hiking, biking, eating good food, playing football (not soccer), reading, listening to all types of music, and spending time with my friends

There is nothing I love more than interacting with people. Talk to me! I'll happily respond to anything! You don't even need to be a mutual to chat with me (although if you do follow me back I love you) — I'll talk anyone's ear off

If I like you I'll spam like and reblog 10000 of your posts, be warned

I've been told by almost everyone in my life I dress and act like a middle-aged suburban dad. I don't know how to escape this, but with God as my witness I will never stop quoting the Simpsons

[alena-reblobs]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol8 Part2

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1 Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1 Vol02 Part 2 |

Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 |

Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2

Oh hell yeah we'll get to one of my favourite spreads of the whole series in this Part.

I will also not excuse any swearing that I'm doing while writing this review.

Now I don't think I got this on my first read through, but the sound here ("Gakin") sounds very much like no bullet was loaded? Sooo I guess Wolfwood very cleverly anticipated this move by Legato so we have him double-tricking him! Good boy! (I haven't read all bookclub posts to vol8 yet, if smb else already said this, whoops)

He's free...but instant knock-out. Ouch.

"Oh no fucker, I WON'T have you staring at my bf's ass." (loosely interpreted Wolfwood's thoughts)

If he missed, does this mean Legato changed the trajectory of the bullets with his powers? Sounds like a wild thing to do (but I'm not sure if it's a wild thing for HIM or completely within his normal powers?)

THIS shit was not part of the plan.

Reclaimed his ass (good for him)

This panel of Livio shooting behin him and saying "Amen"? It's pretty fucking cool.

Much less cool is that he's shooting Wolfwood.

And now Chapel literally casting judgement upon Wolfwood from above. God has this boy not suffered enough?

It's started, guys. The inner thoughs of Wolfwood...You know when I started reading Trigun, I had just watched ep4 or 5 of Trigun and I thought Wolfwood was "just" another cool character, but basically a sidekick to the main character Vash. Then I binged the manga in 3 days and saw that, although none of the other characters like Meryl and Milly are any less fleshed out or any less important, next to Vash he's probably the only one about whom we get so so much wonderful insight. So much deep character feelings, so much thoughts...and I'm so so in love with his inner monologues. They hurt to read but they show he's not just the cool priest with the machine gun, but he's hurting, he's self doubting, he's vulnerable and afraid at times and he has wishes too...

And when he's sitting there, riddled with bullets, it's the thought of Livio and how he still has to save him, that manages to get him to keep going.

They were friends, brothers! Memories of happier times...

Which fucker shot my Wolfwood.

Gnaring, biting, chomping on wood.

It's coming it's coming

SJAKD fskfa Vash literally answering his prayer. Cradling Wolfwood in his wings gently!! And protecting him from the bullets. And also being turned to him with his body, partly shielding Wolfwood with himself, too. This whole page. is so...romantic. And that feels almost like it doesn't even describe it accurately. This is most definitely the part where I really started to ship them, but then, is it romantic or platonic? It doesn't really matter because as much as you want to or NOT want to interpret into their relationship at this point, to me it's clear that there's some kind of love here that's based on their mutual understanding, trust, and how they both have supported each other until this point.

sjkADfaf *sighs*

Big fan of this Vash drawing with this pose here.

Reading this for the thousandth time and falling only deeper into the Vashwood hole.

Knives your vulnerability is showing again.

Cheeky bastard! (I say with love)

The right page is absolutely beautiful. And I love how the panel on the left pages insinuates how they are bumping againest the ship on their way through very comedy-style.

Next chapter! Chapter 5:

I'm cherishing every panel where we see them close and caring about each other. Imagining Vash gently leaning Wolfwood against the rock after catching them both from the fall (did they land on his feathers or did they fly to the earth? I'd have loved to know how they did it)

Love that panel at the bottom of Wolfwood! And, Vash with his hair down (and cloak off) like this looks soo young! More like Wolfwood's age instead of 150 haha

Baby Wolfwood Baby Wolfwood

The situation is turned into a funny one on the next page, but these pleas, they are very much real and urgent and from the bottom of Wolfwood's heart...and he rarely ever begs or asks for anything.

Marlon!! So so happy to get some characters back that we know, and he's a very lovable character!! And, of course, Meryl <3

Knowing that his friends are there to back him up, even from afar, he looks more sure of himself. Because you're not alone!

And THEN you had to go and ruin the atmosphere, Wolfwood. Because you just WALKED AWAY you big idiot

Anybody else got reminded of the Cowboy Bebop ending notes?

And that's all of the Vol8 recap I'm gonna do. There's one more chapter but I don't really feel like doing that, others have already discussed it anyway, so that's it for me! Now I can really dig into vol9 this week, oh lord I can't wait.

[opinated-user]

indeed, anon. i'm sure it means a lot for LO that you're willing to lie so blatantly. 1. that user they mentioned? not one of my followers or regular users who interact with my content. if you go to their blog, literally the only one that reblogued from any of us was this post. for the record, it was the post where i posted the screenshot of LO using the r-slur against her critics and Brittany commenting that LO later changed it to "crackhead".

i can't speak for the other blogs though. at least they didn't ring any bells for me. just in case it's needed too: i'm stubbornly clear about how i don't want anyone reading my blog to go interact with LO in any sort of way. the goal here is deplatforming and you can't deplatform someone if you just keep validating their platform with more social interactions. not to mention that anything you say to her is just more for her victim narrative. 2. one reblog post. zero likes. the rest of their interaction are miscelanious posts that have nothing to do with either LO or our blogs. is that what "regularly interact with" means now? but even if they did "regularly" interacted with any of us... again, we're all pretty adamant about not harassing or bothering LO because it'll always be useless. so clearly this person is not listening to us either and went out of their way to go against what we try to do. i'm not happy about this person going off on LO like they did either. 3. let me get this straight. when we say that some anons write the exact same as LO does and we can recognize the tone, or it's just pathetically obvious in some other way, that's us building conspiracy theories because we can't accept that someone might actually like LO. those two things have nothing to do with each other in the first place, LO is capable of using sockpuppet accounts and also there being people who for some reason think they like her, those are not mutually exclusive, but that's what LO has said before. but when this unconfirmed anon that nobody know who they are say that they recognize the writing style of some of the anon messages we get with this other random tumblr user who only wrote something by themselves once, oh, now that's a valid thought process. to clarify, they might be right for all i know. i have no clue. i just know that this user went against LO in the most unnecessary way possible and it did nothing but anyone, so i hope at least it was worth it for them because certainly it wasn't for us. they might have also send us some anons for all i care. i just question the double standard here. when we do it, it's a conspiracy. when other people to it to defend LO, no, that's just being a smart person who just notices this kind of things. 4. "showing people 5+ instances of you being directly contacted by the blog"... what is this even talking about? what other 5+ instances are they refering to? i only just found out about this one user going on their own. this one user i might have seen once in my activity notifications and never again. where are those other blogs who are part of this side of tumblr doing this? 5. "everything going on with Poppy last month has also been very helpful." i'm so glad, anon, that you're able to be so honest and say that you're glad that Poppy violated the consent of a survivor of CSA to the point that she destroyed his trust. i almost respect that. or do you mean the multiple allegations of abuse against her that have nothing to do with us or LO? the ones that LO has majorly ignored? while treating Poppy like a potential victim only after she put the testimony of Courtney behind a paywall? truly, i'm fascinated with how you see a sex pest harming people, using them and discarding them as "helpful" to keep the good reputation of your favorite youtuber. indeed, the sign of a well adjusted and moral person with their priorities in the right places. thank god that all those people were negatively affected by Poppy so it could serve you to keep protecting a proven groomer. i bet all those victims will be delighted to know that their experiences were useful for you. but really, what i can expect from a fan of the woman who has said more victim blaming things that are more aboherrent than that? you two truly deserve each other.

[the-mehlwurm]

INTRODUCTION POST YIPPIEH

HI HI!!! My name is mehl or mel or whatever and I don't really care what pronouns you might use for me, though I usually go by she/they/he/it :))

I am 18 years old (yippieh, I guess)

My first language is not English and I often don't read my posts before I post them so there are lots of typos everywhere and probably a lot of grammatical errors :3

My favourite favourite bands are bears in trees, los campesinos!, mcr, hot mulligan, charmer, noahfinnce and the used but I'll pretty much listen to everything, as long as it tickles my brain in a fun way :D

In general I am in love with stardew valley, playing the bass (and SOMETIMES guitar), pill bugs, my friends and (depending on how tired and/or drunk I am) VERY much with my mutuals :]

I also sometimes draw (which WAS originally the reason I started posting on this account), but i kinda needed a big break after school. I am trying to get into drawing again, tho.

Random fun facts about me, i didnt quite know where else to put: I have 2 piercings (+earrings, so 4, if you count them), I am bi and ace (and incredibly single), I sometimes feel like I don't have a personality, I feel like I often adjust the little personality I have for literally everyone and that the rest are just symptoms of my adhd, i am vegetarian (which always surprises people that know me irl, not sure why), i have a jar in which I put nice things people said/wrote to me so I can look at them when i feel weird about myself and my favourite trees are birch trees :D

Also PLEASE feel free to message me or sending me asks (and/or recommendations for stuff (for example movies, music, manga, books) and I will love you forever). Though, little disclaimer: I AM awkward and WILL probably make you cringe (if you haven't killed the part of you that cringes yet. No shame tho. Because same. Though it IS sad.) Whenever you talk to me. But I LOVE interacting with people (if they are nice, if you're mean to me, there's a 90% chance I'll cry). :3

Also, for my hashtags, I sometimes just write down extra thoughts or whatever (so, how pretty much everyone uses tags), but if you see me rating my posts (for example, I might give this post a '67/69' and my reasoning for the rating), thats because that was a draft. I rate my draft at the end of the month. Is it stupid? Yeah. Does anyone care? No. But it is fun to me so you'll have to put up with it, I guess.

And, most importantly, if you know me irl, please don't.

[gojosbf]

I agree with the anon and you. It really is getting frustrating.

My gripe with Gege’s writing started after how he removed Mahito from the situation. I wanted Mahito to have some payback atleast. Junpei, Nanami, the countless people in Shibuya, Nobara and after all that the conclusion Mahito gets is absorption?

If Gege wanted Gojo out of the picture, he already had the setup with Gojo sealed. Atleast Gojo’s death should’ve had some meaning if he was going to go. Mutually assured destruction would have been nice with the last purple that Gojo fired.

Also how is it that it has been a month since the squad was prepping for the fight with Sukuna and Choso never once brought up Sukuna’s abilities up and only brought it up during the fight? Like how is there no communication at all among the protagonists? How did they even let Sukuna go from 15 fingers to 19 fingers. That seemed like the most stupid thing to do. A lot of things did not make sense and is very inconsistent with the way characters have been behaving.

If the idea is to get the next gen stronger, then Gege did a terrible job in it (except for Maki) because he had time to power creep Yuji (who is supposed to be the MC btw). Yuji has been irrelevant in any battle and almost always had someone pull him out of the mess.

And what about the part that only a six eyed user can take on Kenjaku? Without Gojo, how is that supposed to happen? Wasn’t that one of the reasons why Kenjaku had Gojo sealed out of the many?

Right now all of these 1 vs 1 fights with Sukuna just feels like Sukuna just flexing his muscles.

oh you don't know i was LIVID when i read about mahito's death like he had to go? okay then let one of our mcs have it, i HATED it.

i never thought about that ending but now that you say it YEAH i would have preferred that a thousand times over this kind of death, that would actually serve a purpose and push the plot forward. I really am trying to wrap my head around on how gege is planning to explain all of this because if gojo couldn't defeat sukuna in his suppressed form how is our cast (who are supposedly weaker than him) meant to take him down (even if we consider the damages gojo dealt on him, which mind you he is recovering from seemingly easily). As for the never having to discussion of sukuna's ability I do think i can explain that because

1. they were very much betting on gojo to take him on

2. there are many techniques sukuna adopted, enhanced and copied (from gojo) just by watching it for the first time during that fight (for example using of the spent ct as rct)

3. since it was the war between the strongest, we experienced things which were considered impossible (the back to back domain expansion part of the fight, which was if i remember correct was thrice), now they did not know this was possible before but saw it happen in Shinjuku so that's why they're worried.

though i majorly agree with sukuna fights being muscle (and also brain on his part let's give a bit credit for that) flexing rn, we'll have to agree that his rise up to power makes sense (what doesn't make sense to me is how gege mentioned that him and gojo were both equal and then ended gojo with excuse of sukuna wasn't going all out)

oh and i really agree with the terrible job in power creep portrayal, i mean yes there has been a massive increase in yuuji (since he was deemed close to grade 1 in shibuya and after that he kept growing plus let's not forget his culling game fights) the only explanation i can think of is either gege thinks it should be obvious enough to us that he's now clearly above grade 1 sorcerer so he did not bother mentioning it or he has trick up his sleeve (again questionable). As for kenjaku oohh boy we don't have where he is what is he planning who will he face on, thinking who'll now take on kenny and sukuna gives me headache

all in all there are explanations for plot devices but they only work for the cursed spirits, as for our main cast it's just a loss after loss, death after death which is causing a massive shift in fandom and our questioning of gege's so called not so generic shonen manga story and rightfully so

[brzatto]

I have some questions I wanted to ask :3c

I really love your Carmy drawing! You drew his sad puppy eyes and messy hair perfectly. Are you going to post any more art? 👀

I just started watching season 2 of The Bear and I was wondering how your rewatch was going. Any new thoughts after rewatching?

You're a Pacific Rim fan? 🥳 If Carmy and Richie were partners in that I feel like the Jaeger would immediately explode as soon as they were both plugged into it 😂 What are your AU thoughts?

helloooo <3

1. thank you!!!! ;_; as for posting any more art idk i doubt it >_< if i’m being honest i rarely ever draw at all and that doodle was just a one off but if i ever just so happen to do any more in the future then maybe! i’d like to get back into drawing more but the bear has pretty evidently manifested itself more in the writing side of my brain so

2. if i’m being honest i’m still on ep2 of my rewatch LMFAO every time i try and sit myself down and tell myself to watch it i end up finding an excuse to pull myself away. idk why i’m so mentally averse to it… what’s that thing called where people keep putting off things they genuinely want to do because that’s basically what’s happening rn. i do have a lot of thoughts and half formed posts in my drafts rn just from my first watch alone though i just feel like i should complete my rewatch before sharing them and then i keep… not doing that

3. i loooove pacrim it’s one of my favorite movies/universes ever. if i like a character or a pairing regardless of what the og media source is trust that i will be imagining them in a pacrim au… i’ve been toying with the idea for carmy and richie on and off in the back of my head since way back last year but i actually think it works pretty 1:1 with canon! mikey and richie being lifelong best friends and going into the pilot program together, finding out they’re drift compatible and becoming jaeger pilots together, mikey being kia, carmy always having this pipe dream of becoming a pilot and spending his childhood looking up to mikey and richie and wanting to be just like them but being deterred by something or another. maybe going through the program but because he’s naturally reserved and introverted he thinks he doesn’t have what it takes to be an actual pilot or that he’ll never be drift compatible with someone because he can’t really imagine connecting with anyone in that way. when mikey dies richie’s left in need of a partner but richie is richie so he’s not really compatible with anyone else until they offer to test carmy and lo and behold.. richie balks from it at first obviously because carmy’s just a rookie without any real experience in the field and he and mikey were pretty well established for years (if not just a little unorthodox) and internally half of him is unable to accept the idea of carmy being mikey’s replacement due to his grief and the other half of him is unable to accept carmy being mikey’s replacement due to his protectiveness of carmy (but he doesn’t mention or bring that up ever. i think their dynamics and history in pacrimverse would mirror their histories together in canon, but any genuine good intentions richie has is also probably overshadowed by his anger/resentment and he ends up lashing out a lot at the higher ups and keeping carmy at arm’s length the whole time this is happening. he’s just like.. not coping well. or at all for that matter) cue some very slow burn and mutually tentative bonding and richie always berating carmy for being “just a kid” throughout it and objecting about having him out in the field (not to his face or anything, probably not even with malicious intent or with the purpose of hurting carmy but carmy probably overhears or finds out anyways and resents him for it + feels all that self loathing and ineptitude because he knows he couldn’t live up to mikey either) and richie being given the ultimatum of either having carmy as his partner or being forced to retire but when they’re put in a tight spot they DO go out in the field together. something very dramatic and tragic happens because something dramatic and tragic is always happening in a pacrim au and it seems unlikely that they’ll both make it out and richie is adamant about carmy being the one who lives, still struggles with all that survivor’s guilt over mikey and wouldn’t be able to take going through it again, especially not with carmy. carmy of course is like… kicking and screaming and very much NOT willing to leave him behind and at the same time he’s ANGRY because all this time richie still doesn’t think of him as being capable nor does he trust carmy enough to be able to let him help and for them to go through this together. i don’t think carmy is as concerned as much about whether he lives or dies, or even really if richie lives or dies, i think whatever happens he just wants to see it through alongside richie. he wants richie to trust him, he wants them to be a team, and regardless of what happens to them he wants them to do it together meanwhile richie’s only priority is to ensure carmy walks away from this alive. at all costs.

since this isn’t necessarily a fic plot or anything just how i imagine a pacrim au for them would be like, the endings vary—richie deceives carmy/saves him against his will and has to deal with knowing he’s automatically lost all and whatever tentative trust carmy had in him leading up to this, either richie lives and he and carmy have to start again from the ground up bond wise (maybe they realize they can’t be partners after all and richie would rather retire than have to be put in a position like that again) (lawful evil end) OR carmy eventually forgives him and they work it out and continue being partners (lawful neutral end) OR richie dies and carmy’s left to deal with the survivor’s guilt instead. (neutral evil end)

alternate endings: carmy stays and saves richie instead—also up to you whether he lives or dies but in the event that carmy dies richie has to go through all that mess with mikey all over again and idk if he could like. mentally/emotionally/physically survive that (chaotic evil end) or carmy finally finally convinces richie to trust in him just this once and they combat the evil together and come out of it stronger and closer than ever (lawful good end). also if i’m being honest when i think of this au playing out in my head i surprisingly don’t think of them ever being explicitly romantic but they still have that air of weird unspoken homoerotic tension that they do in s1: richie still devastated and grieving and fighting a battle of internal conflict, carmy still rash and impulsive and oblivious, richie wanting nothing to do with carmy but still unable to stomach the mere notion of putting him at risk, carmy thinking richie is a washed up asshole but still desperately wanting his trust and approval. sometimes the pining is better ngl

[justagingerwithredhair]

Salutations and welcome to my blog!

---General Profile---

Adult

Genderfluid Wizard (he/him

American (tragically)

---My Favorite---

Foods: pomegranate, coconut, mushrooms, pie, tempura, sushi, and tea

Color: yellow

Song Genres: jazz, swing, bossa-nova, orchestral, lo-fi, and electronic

Books: The Devil and the Dark Water, The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle, House in the Cerulean Sea, The Hate U Give, The Song of Achilles (and many more)

Shows: The Owl House, Bob's Burgers, Carole & Tuesday, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Parks & Recreation, Abbott Elementary (and many more)

Games: Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, Minecraft, Terraria, Spiritfarer, The Legend of Zelda, Pokémon, Octopath Traveler, Persona 5, Ace Attorney, Splatoon, Team Fortress 2

Animal: 💖✨️Narwhal✨️💖

---Interests and Such---

Likes: writing, philosophy, investigation, acting, singing, roleplaying, design, armature swordplay, travel, autumn, and Halloween

Dislikes: The United States of America, summer, and tomatoes

---Tags---

#ginger rambles: just random thoughts i have

#asks: any ask i decide to respond to

#ginger's grimoire: posts i decide to add to my spell book

#ask rpg: asks sent in the spirit of playing our made-up tumblr rpg or posts pertaining to it

#moots: anything having to do with loving my mutuals <3

---Extra Bits & Bobs---

I am a huge nerd, and I love discussing art and media. This blog is also very asexual.

I know I’ve thrown a lot of information together here, but if you want to know more about me, don’t be afraid to send in an ask! Thank you for reading to the end! ^^

[everythingodysseydd]

@aeide & @findusinaweek I finally put it all in one place!

A few notes first:

I have two types of music... Good music and fandom music. The first one bleeds into the second on occasion, but 90% of the time those two categories mutually exclusive. Be forewarned.

I’m gender-bending and mid-line pov swapping all over the place, so expect that. I’m also terrible about tossing lines that don’t work and keeping songs purely for choruses, concepts, and single lines. This is a living list, so this original post is the best place to look.

Okay, so starting general and then haphazardly chronological:

Walking with Giants (Rachel Sandy): Just general. All over Odyssey.

2. Start A War (Klergy, Valerie Broussard): Again, everywhere.

3. Blood // Water - Acoustic (grandson): Nikolaos-focused, especially toward the end of the game, but all throughout. Greed is the wrong word, but the rest.

4. Brasidas (ACO Soundtrack): Might’ve been in my Top 5 last year…. xD

5. You're the One (Tracy Chapman): I love her so much and putting this to Brasidas' perspective really makes me laugh. That is all 😂

6. Wild Child (The Black Keys): When fandom sneaks into my actual music it always makes me laugh. This barely applies, but I've laughed about it in Kassidas context, so it's here in the most lighthearted way possible. I take my ships seriously most of the time, I swear xD

7. A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton): Pure reminiscence for one of @findusinaweek’s old posts that really made me smile <3

8. Enemies (Shinedown): Look, it works for Deimos, okay? xD

9. Dive Deep (Andrew Belle): You know when something completely unrelated in the shuffle just makes the writing write, so it ends up on repeat? That’s what happened here. Completely unrelated, but the second and third chapters of Korinthia spent some time with this one. It helped that he enunciates so poorly that I didn’t catch the words until later. They do work, surprisingly. They’re a bit uh… They didn’t hurt the vibe, let's just say that... 👀

10. Whirlwind (JOSEPH): This is a general Kassandra theme for me, but especially through Korinthia. Once it builds up into its full chaos I really love the vibe. Most Kassidas scenes have some element of this on the writing side. Korinthia’s Ch.3 section was fleshed out almost entirely to this at very high volume.

11. Spark (Ed Sheeran): This came round the same way Dive Deep did. I was listening to Ed’s new album at my sister’s request (she’s a huge fan) and this one just worked while I was drafting choreography for Korinthia Ch.3. Most of the lyrics conveniently work as well. *shrugs*

12. Myrrine (ACO Soundtrack): I see this threaded through a lot, but especially in Sparta, Athens, and Euboea. Anytime Kassandra is really going through it or is struggling to see Alexios through the Deimos mask.

13. Twisted (MISSIO): Deimos perspective. Something about it is particularly jarring to me, but in an intentionally lazy, offhanded way?

14. I Don’t Even Care About You (MISSIO): Deimos again, and again, not my favorite, but here functionally.

15. Bad Blood (Bastille): Deimos again. This one I enjoy a lot more. The indifferent annoyance. Essentially, ‘We’re never getting away from each other. Let’s stop pretending this can be different and get on with it.’

16. Born For This (The Score): I actually have this song for another fandom (TCW / TBB, which it actually works for), but every time I think of it in a Spartan context I laugh so hard I had to put it here for kicks. Particularly that northern campaign when it needs some light-heartening. Sobbing over here, don't mind me.

17. Monster (STARSET): Deimos generally. I actually like the concepts here a LOT. There’s a line in Warmth on the Mountain about the EB being the center of Deimos’ world by the end and I really love that fixation idea. That’s in here. The idea of trusting your redemption to the people who destroyed you in the first place… the Can you change me? // Will you cage me? thought dichotomy… Lots of little things in here.

18. Devour (Shinedown): I’ve loved the sound of this one for ages, but hate the content 😂 It finds a decent home in Deimos though. And if it lands anywhere, it’s probably post-Kleon betrayal as everything unravels for them.

19. Hurricane (Tommee Profitt, Fleurie): Battle of Amphipolis. This is in here purely for a concept – that sudden sensory loss and stillness in the middle of chaotic shock. I want to pull that sensation, but haven’t captured it yet, so it's here as a reminder. ALSO, that line, ‘I am aching now to let you in’ – the missed opportunity gets a little extra love from me <3

20-22. Honor Him, Elysium, & Now We Are Free (in that order – Gladiator Soundtrack): For me, these overview all the immediate events after Amphipolis. Forget Gladiator, they were just easy instrumentals to write to, and then I learned the words of Now We Are Free and might have become very, very, very attached to them, particularly this part:

We regret our sins, but // We sow our own fate and // Under my face I remain feeble // Under my face I smile // Even alone/afraid // Under my face I will be waiting

I mean …😫 Can’t you just imagine if those were part of the procession and then repeated in the Underworld when when we learn Brasidas refused Elysium and is putting himself through this??? (Because if he’s there at all, HE chose it – canon can fuck off as far as I'm concerned). The lyrics of this song as a lament over the situation and a call to come to terms with the past????? I'm not going to do it, but I mean…

I also really love the emotional path of Now We Are Free for an actual funeral procession. Since Brasidas was esteemed as a liberator, beloved by the city he died successfully defending, I see the event as a celebratory lament for a city who's populace mostly knew him as the personification of an idea more than a person. When you add the warriors' death glorification layer that Sparta had going on, it just sorta fits? And with the ashes and hypotheses that follow, I imagine Kassandra staying up to the moment his body is gone. The beginning of that song is procession, then the cut back to drumsticks and immediate uptick afterward are the lighting of a pyre. The sound fall that follows is the return to self, where the misthios, not ready for joy, takes a last look at empty flames and slips away into the night alone.

I despise it... but it wormed its way in and it’s not coming out 😂

23. Overjoyed (Bastille): There’s a lot of Bastille in this list. I don’t usually listen to them, but I swear most of this album was written for this specifically. This one was part of my early mourning process and is my excuse for writing 6k-10k word conversations I can’t cut down…

24. I Ran (So Far Away) - Epic Trailer Version (Hidden Citizens): Post-Amphipolis. Kassandra’s not big on processing. This is a bit overkill for me, but it's here regardless. Concept pull.

25. Daniel In The Den (Bastille): Felled in the night by the ones you think you love. Pessimism post-Amphipolis. ^This referring to Brasidas’ death at Alexios hands, which is the tipping point on a scale that had been sliding for a while. By Amphipolis, Kassandra thinks she'd found common ground with Deimos in Athens (not realizing how personally he would take her escape and silence afterward), and was double blindsided. It’s the drudgery and the Cult of Kosmos and Sparta and Deimos, all in one. It’s the backbone of what pushes her to hunt the cult after what happens in the north.

26. These Streets (Bastille): Kassandra post-Amphipolis. Sparta becomes too much. It’s the place of too many memories, all around. She makes a (temporary) decision to be done with it.

27. War (Poets of the Fall): This was here for a handful of lines that I circled for a while and drew a couple concepts from. If I can let the memory heal // I will remember you with me on that field // When I thought that I fought this war on my own // You were there by my side because before Korinth she has people, but not anyone who’s brought all the way inside. With his background, he easily becomes that person. Also a bit of With no one wearing their real face // It’s a whiteout of emotion // And I’ve only got my brittle bones to break the fall // So will you please show me your real face? Because I was suspicious he was a Cult plant for a longggg time. Too good to be true 😂 Fic Kassandra shakes that sooner than I did, but it plays a part. It’s since come off this list, but it’s back for you all 😂

28. War of Hearts (Ruelle): This whole idea of trying not to love someone is just very Kassidas to me. I headcanon that she never makes a pass at him in the game because it’s clearly more serious and that’s a LOT, considering.

29. Deep End (Ruelle): Not resisting the post-Amphipolis spiral.

30. I Found (Amber Run): Found this one on Tumblr’s Kassidas tag… 😫

31. Burning House (Cam): Post-Amphipolis. Technically country, but I’ve loved this song since the very first time I heard it. The fire imagery sticks from Korinth and I headcanon Kassandra carrying a LOT of guilt for Brasidas’ death, alongside the grief she’s experiencing. With that and everything else that comes crashing down in Amphipolis, I headcanon that she hardly sleeps all the way to Pephka, which is a later segment.

32. Hospital (Lydia): Wallowing. Just wallowing 😂

33. Icarus (Bastille): For Kassandra it’s not substances, it’s a dissociative Cult-killing spree, but that’s neither here nor there. Completely a perversion of the myth. And yet it still worked its way into Myrinne’s letter in Euboea, because I’m awful. Lmao.

34. Fading (Decyfer Down): I’ve been obsessed with that lyric, ‘unshackled and unbound’ since I was a weird, angsty teen and finally finding a home for it in the Pephka Arena makes me SO HAPPY. Again, swapping substances for murderous tendencies though xD This connects to this headcanon.

35. Centuries (Fall Out Boy): Pephka Arena. This is what happens when you're an entire library shuffler. I have no excuses 😂

36. From Where You Are (Lifehouse): I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face. This has been a mainstay on my BSG Kara/Lee playlist for YEARS because of this awful video that vented a whole lot of teenage grief for me (that I'll never be over), but it’s an easy song to write wistful, nostalgic scenes to because it’s so even-toned. That lyric ^^ grabbed me in particular, because I did Port of Lawlessness at golden hour (doomed to fall, clearly) and couldn’t stop looking at his arms in that light 🤣🤣🤣 I use this post-Pephka arena when she’s first started to heal and is finally capable of remembering him, but it also comes back in the post-game when she’s finally come home to Sparta.

37. Waves (Dean Lewis): Just general pining, but of a *slightly* healthier variety.

38. Song for Zula (Phosphorescent): Another Nikolaos song. I ignore one lyric at the beginning, but gah. These lyrics KILL me. It’s about the grief and anger of being broken by a relationship and still feeling that enduring emotional attachment you can’t quite shake. I’m in love with it. Might be my favorite on the whole list. It’s Kassandra collecting the pieces after Boeotia and wrestling with the same in Euboea where he finds her again. They (mostly) work past this later, but it's SO perfect for most of the game.

I saw love // You see, it came to me… // It put its face up to my face so I could see // Then I saw Love disfigure me

You will not see me fall // Nor see me struggle to stand // To be acknowledged by some touch from his gnarled hand

39. Carnival of Rust (Poets of the Fall): A high^ and a low. Lmao. I have an adversarial relationship with this one. I DO NOT LIKE IT, but just like Dive Deep and Spark, the MUSIC (NOT the lyrics - repeat, NOT the lyrics) accidentally ended up being what I needed to write Brasidas’ first scene in the Underworld and it’s forever, horrifically, attached to it. It makes me laugh in an ***extremely*** irritated way. Helps me remember not to take myself too seriously, because… *Facepalm*

WRITING FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY IS HARD, OKAY?!

40. Foreigner’s God (Hozier): There are only about 5 seconds I actually apply to ACO, but something about “Her eyes looked sharp and steady into the empty parts of me” is just so strikingly Kassidas, especially for that early Underworld segment. Sometimes I think the whole song fits if you really force it, but mostly it's just that line ;)

41. Blood And Fire (Indigo Girls): I'm obsessed with their voices, but extra in this song. It’s not a perfect fit for me, but POV swapping all over the place, I feel like there are tons of snippets. And something about I am looking for someone who can take as much as I give // Give back as much as I need // And then still have the will to live just makes me laugh so. damn. hard. Brasidas being dead has nothing to do with this for me. Kassandra is just... it makes me snicker.

42. Let It All Go (RHODES, Birdy): Underworld angst. Sitting on that relational precipice before the fall, alongside the next song, trying to break past the rules they created for themselves in life so they can get to that next space they both need for healing. I headcanon their physical chemistry in the game being naturally very Port of Lawlessness, but they keep from the complicated explosion that would become by leaning into the rigidity of their professional roles and goals (canon). They share a common goal in Korinth... He uses his position to help her with citizenship in Sparta… She comes to him as a misthios to Pylos and Amphipolis... That structure keeps things easy. It’s an excuse to connect/disconnect without addressing the rest. During the game, she uses that crutch and he lets her have it. In the Underworld *he* needs it, but by that point, she's not as gracious. Breaking anything rigid is daunting though, especially in grief ❤️

If we’re strong enough to let it in // If we’re strong enough to let it go

43. For Me, It’s You (Lo Moon): Sitting in the same tension as above^.

44. Mountain and the Sea (Ingrid Michaelson): At one point (I think while she’s pushing back against his decision to stay in the underworld) I have Kassandra characterize Brasidas as the cliffs beside the wild tempest sea (Kassandra 😂), because up until that point he always has such a steady grasp on things. Everywhere he goes, he has things well in hand - that presence of mind. Even at Amphipolis, the (real) numbers and results tell that story. They're equally formidable, but by a different approach, built by different methods. And when she comes up against him for the first time there, she appreciates it less. When this came up in my shuffle sometime later, I couldn’t resist. And the gender-bent refrain ‘you can move me’ makes me laugh, because that's the story there, even though Kassandra doesn’t realize that deeper piece of the analogy at the time. He ends up HAPPILY in Elysium, dammit. Screw Ubi.

45. Take What I Can Get (Mathew Mayfield): The line that I couldn’t get away from was You’re still locked inside me, holding on. Something about that lyric just hits it for me.

46. Walk Through the Fire (Zayde Wolf, Ruelle): Kassandra-view in the Underworld. It’s hopeless, but we’re finally processing at least.

47. Demons at the Door (Sleeping Wolf): Hmm... Let’s just say this lightheartedly connects to a very specific scene in the Underworld and leave it at that. Breaking some rigidity. When it comes to workshopping ships, the cringiest part of my soul makes an appearance. It is what it is 😂

48. In My Veins - Feat. Erin Mccarley (Andrew Belle): This one was the sound support to some Underworld writing sessions… I rediscovered it (for completely unrelated, unromantic reasons) around the same time I was writing that and it happened to stick.

49. Follow You (Bring Me the Horizon): This one came from Tumblr’s Kassidas tag too. I’m not a huge fan, but the second half does make me laugh about the Underworld portion. And shipping in general... mostly shipping in general XD

50. Light (Sleeping at Last): EXCLUSIVELY SKIPPING TO 1:55. NOTHING BEFORE THAT. (I see Phoibe as Kassandra’s pseudo-child, but everything before that point in the song is irrelevant). For me, the second half of this song is loosely how I felt finding Phoibe in the Underworld. That scene is so gut-wrenching. The awe of the person. The unfulfillable promises. The ‘I’ll do better’ refrain… especially that, but tipped further toward grief. I see this all being part of Kassandra’s internal journey there. There’s nothing she can do, being alive. There’s no promise she can actually make.

51. Silhouette (Aquilo): Phoibe 😫 Sometimes I swing it towards Brasidas in the Underworld, but so much of it is Phoibe’s piece there. Blending the two probably works best.

52. Holding On and Letting Go (Ross Copperman): The stillness and peace that exists in the underworld portion after Kassidas sorts themselves out. There's an underlying calm, despite everything else.

53. Be On Your Way (Daughter): Preparing to part ways in the Underworld - Kassandra on with her tasks, and others on to Elysium. I'm really attached to this one.

54. My Darling (Ingrid Michaelson): I don’t love the first few lines, but all the rest. There are a lot of ways you could apply this one, a lot of relationships, but peak is probably at that second Taygetos moment.

55. Who Are You (SVRCINA): Deimos & Kassandra again, especially in the foundations of their post-game relationship. For that final Cult quest as he’s still very raw. I’m a little obsessed with this one.

56. I Won’t Let You Go (Switchfoot): I’m nothing if not a child of my era and here's proof, lmao. This is a song I took a lot of comfort in at one specific moment in my life (as the subject, not the singer), and I use it for the Kassandra & Alexios relationship at various points too, but especially post-game. The idea that you can’t fix a person’s circumstance, but you can fiercely love them and choose to stay beside them. That.

57. Tally Marks (JOSEPH): I've heard every Joseph song 85k times and can pick them apart in tiny segments, so this is probably just worth skipping for everyone else. It’s written romantically so I’m being VERY selective and filtering out a TON, but there are a couple lyric sets midway through that I LOVE for the tension between Kassandra & Alexios in their early post-game days:

What you’ve done cannot be undone… // But you’ll wake up to another sun.

There just aren’t enough words to describe the chasm between those two thoughts, you know? That gap is the vibe of all the early post-game days. But also,

I’ve got a sense about you // Under your hood, there’s a man that I knew // His eyes are fire and his hands are true // Where is he? // Where are you?

My hope is to be able to find some version of non-Deimos Alexios eventually, because Alexios is such an amazing character.

58. Control (Halsey): Deimos’ internal conflict after coming home to a Sparta who fundamentally hates him while fighting to find a new life. The push/pull of fighting not to become people’s expectations is just… 🙌 Concept pull.

59. Find My Way Back (Eric Arjes): Alexios & Kassandra again. I love this idea of her clinging to him for his benefit, but the same happening in inverse without her realizing. The two of them becoming each other’s counterbalance. I’ve also swapped it toward thinking about Brasidas in Elysium in moments, but I like it for the siblings better.

60. Hold on for Your Life (Acoustic) (Sam Tinnesz): This one is on thin ice, but when I let it lean in on Alexios & Kassandra in post-game quiet moments, I still like it barely enough to keep it.

61. Right Here (Ashes Remain): This song makes me cringe badly, but between the siblings, the line ‘I will always be the one who took your place’ has something that's been bugging me forever and I just haven’t drawn out exactly what that is yet, so until I unlock that tidbit its stuck here. The song means it sacrificially, but its something else entirely in my brain. First time Taygetos... Inconclusive thoughts.

62. Don’t Hold Me (Dean Lewis): More post-game moments on Deimos’ end mostly. (Also possibly washes toward Kassandra at the end of her stay in Athens, realizing there’s a reason Alexios keeps coming back to talk. She starts to feel his leaning in and is pretty listless at that point.) It's a stronger Thalexios song to me, but there's juuuuust enough to keep it here.

63. Honest (JOSEPH): The first half of this song especially has always been a favorite of mine. I love the idea that we’re never as alone as we think AND this is sung by siblings, so that callback portion is full of those rich family dynamics I LOVE. Applies to post-game everything.

64. Keeping Your Head Up (Birdy): Post-game all around. They’ve got a messy 4-way lift happening. Plus, when I first heard this song I misheard the chorus as ‘I’ve been giving you hell’ and honestly that fits everyone in this family so well 🤣

Honestly though, way bigger is that something about this song feels EXACTLY like co-regulation to me. That's a crisis tool where you use one person's calm nervous system to stabilize another, often through physical contact. Like hugs? That might be why. I've been the anchor for a number of people and it’s a really powerful tool, especially for pairs who have a strong bond. If you don't have that before, you absolutely do after. As much sparring and tight-quartering as these siblings do in my imagined post-game, I imagine that being a big (accidental, unnamed) part of their recovery.

65. Coming Home - Part II / Bonus Track (Skylar Grey): I’ll probably never write this portion, but these last two songs are the shift to airy Elysium at the end of Kassandra’s NATURAL life. The original song made its radio debut while I was a teenager struggling to process the death of a peer, so it’s always been laced with a sweet sort of grief-release for me. This cover is much softer. I particularly like the first couple lines, which are specific to this version.

66. Beautiful (Trading Yesterday): Not quite my speed, but this is in here because I love some of the imagery. Summer rain to wash away the winter stain and The morning sun inviting the dawn to break. There’s a freshness to the imagery that I want to try to extract if I ever do write that Elysium portion. I have a visual flow for it all, but am not sure I have the skill to make it as simultaneously light and grounded as I’d need. *shrugs*

And stolen from other's playlists:

67. White Flag (Dido): Just one that makes me laugh about shipping in general, but applies a little too closely to all things Brasidas for me. He's the real ship for me. Everyone else is bonus xD

68. Brasidas (Justin Bianco): Because why not?

69. Run Boy Run (Woodkid): How I feel about the approach to Amphipolis and the whole northern campaign (and just Brasidas in general 😭). He would never, but here we are.

70. Korivantes (Avlites): Such great chaos and order. I love it.

71. Leveler (Half Waif): ❤️

72. Recording 15 (Shannon Lay): Also ❤️

73. Shattering The Hourglass (Deep Sea Diver): Such a good insert for early Underworld to me.

74. Upward Over the Mountain (Iron & Wine): Myrrine / Kassandra. So many thoughts❤️

75. exile (Taylor Swift, Bon Iver): This one hit me months later and I had to come back and add it. Myrrine, with all her history and relationships. I love her so dearly.

76. Bloodstream (Stateless): I blame aeide!

77. She Just Likes to Fight (Four Tet): Just background :)

77. The Phone Book (Editors): Destroying me in the best way possible. I seriously can't even with this song. Strong Alexidas leaning ;)