#he be goin through it and it's absolutely becoming everyone else's problem

[johnandrasjaqobis]

woe more random out of context durgetash be upon ye, will I ever write anything that's not Joseph suffering through the Subtext who's to say (this one immediately after killing Orin/rejecting Bhaal)

Joseph ran both hands up over his face and through his hair with a low sigh – and gods, there was still a lot of blood in his hair, that was going to be a pain in the ass to scrub out.

“I need to get back,” he said. “Gonna sleep for a tenday now that those fucking dreams are done, I swear…”

The trek back to the inn wasn’t a particularly long one, but it felt incredibly daunting given how literally every muscle ached. He decided firmly that the toll of being yanked back from the dead was the entire reason for the hesitation to stand, and also decided not to notice what might have been a very brief flash of disappointment across Gortash’s face.

(Politicians, Banites, didn’t let anything so inconsequential as emotions slip without a purpose.)

“Of course.” Gortash glanced over his shoulder toward what was likely some kind of timekeeping device. Joseph didn’t want to know how long he had been awake at this point. “I imagine killing Bhaal’s own Slayer warrants at least a partial day off.”

“Don’t forget being killed by a god not even a minute later.”

Gortash actually laughed – hells, what a thing to be able to laugh at – and Joseph blamed his own grin on the exhaustion.

“Absolutely, I would be remiss to forget that.”

There was a brief flare of paranoia when Gortash picked up the blade that had sat on his desk for the entire conversation; it looked no less menacing without the stone slotted into its pommel, a shine to the edge like the blood hadn’t fully dried even hours later. After a moment’s consideration it was flipped around and held out hilt first.

Still a familiar feeling, Joseph noted as he took it. At least now he knew why.

“I have a good deal of loose threads to tie up myself,” Gortash said. “Without their general, the army moves slowly, and having all of the stones accounted for grants us at least a modicum of leeway. For now. Get as prepared as you can, and then we will be right back on plan.”

Joseph gave a weary scoff. “Minus one chosen. And two gods.”

Gortash just shook his head and held out a hand. It didn’t seem worth looking into why it was instinctive to take it – you know why, you know exactly why – even as it was more of a firm grip on his forearm than a handshake. Joseph let himself be pulled a step closer as the other hand went to his shoulder.

“We don’t need Myrkul,” Gortash said firmly, dark eyes sharp and steady. “We don’t need Bhaal. They needed us, because we are brilliant. Don’t forget that we were the ones to come up with all of this at the start.”

Joseph felt his breath catch for a split second. It would’ve been nice to blame that on the exhaustion as well, but even he couldn’t lie to himself that well.

It’d be so easy, was the problem, it was such a small gap to cross, and just as infuriatingly instinctive.

Instead he managed to nod sharply and step back, arms folding across his chest the moment they were free.

“I’ll be in touch,” Joseph muttered as he turned to the door.

He’d managed to get rid of the urges Bhaal had pushed on him.

Now it was just a question of how the fuck he got rid of these.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

It's a cruel irony because Billy faced violence and abuse as a child, but it didn't make him more protective of other kids, I suppose in some ways he's detached from them, sorta like dicklander, that exposure to violence and malice so early in life... a disturbance to his mind.

yeah, because abuse can often be cyclical, that's why it's just as important to have empathy for adult survivors as it is kids, and especially those still goin' through it, kids or adults sadly enough.

dicklander is an apt double entendre description for him~<3<3<3

but i think the number is somewhere around 1/3rd of people who are abused go on to perpetuate that abuse and become abusers. and that i'd wager is just based on what's documented because a lot of abuse goes unreported. so as depressing as this is, it's not just cruel irony.

it's a fucking statistic and huge problem of society. a lot of abusers do not realize what they've become because the brain will do it's best to rationalize it (and what happened to them) as *normal* or that the victim somehow 'deserves' it.

the ironic part is that billy doesn't do this, he is *aware* of what an abusive fuck he is, he just doesn't care and does it anyway.

leik he's the one constantly touting that absolute power absolutely corrupts, which... isn't actually true (it is encouraged in capitalistic cultures don't get me wrong), but it is what *he* would do and what would happen to *him*, so he blankets that over everyone else and tries to manipulate and coerce it out of them to justify his own thinking.

like an absolute entrapping fuckwad.

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

Can i request the Brothers with mc who is shy and likes to hide behind them when there scared.

Brothers With A Shy GN!MC (Headcanons)

Lucifer

He wanted to start taking you with him to his meetings with Lord Diavolo. You were important to him, just as Lord Diavolo was, and he liked having the two most important people in his life in the same room. Plus, having you there would help make him feel a little less stressed and way less overwhelmed by the way that Lord Diavolo acted.

Walking to the castle was one thing, his fingers slid between your own and holding your hand tightly. He could have just zapped the two of you to the castle, but he really enjoyed the calm, quiet walks he had with you. When the two of you got to the castle, he didn’t even realize at first that you were slowly inching your way further and further behind his back. Barbatos wasn’t exactly scary, he just gave off this… vibe… it was hard to put your finger on.

Once Lord Diavolo came out though, that’s when he noticed that his arm was now completely bent behind his back, as were you, and you were holding his hand so tightly, if you were any stronger you’d probably cut off the circulation in his fingers.

He held up his finger to Lord Diavolo, silently asking for a second so that he could talk to you in private, pulling you to the side and out of earshot of everyone else in the room. His smile was soft and warm as he listened to you, nodding slowly and thinking of ways that he could make this easier for you.

“If you’d like to go back to the house, I absolutely understand, dear. I wouldn’t mind keeping you on my lap though, if that would make you feel better. Whatever makes you comfortable, I’ll do it for you.”

Mammon

You were unsure whether he was capable of being shy. It would probably be strange for someone like him to feel that way. He was a model, he was in magazines, he had photoshoots lined up for the next year and a half. You never questioned whether he felt that way because he never gave you a reason to. He was outgoing, boisterous, and easily excitable.

His modeling gigs were a big thing for him, something that he wanted you to be a part of as well. Not in front of the camera obviously, well, unless you wanted to be in the pictures with him. The main reason he didn’t want you to be in the magazines with him though is because he didn’t want any other demons looking at you. Not that he’d ever have to worry about that.

He walked into the warehouse with you, the lights were bright and everything was… so much… It was a lot to take in. You didn’t know how he could possibly handle that at all, so much attention, it seemed scary. Showing you around wasn’t bad, but then he started introducing you to people and you couldn’t handle that. You slowly moved to stand behind Mammon, holding onto his shirt and trying to hide your face in his back. He turned around to look at you, kind of confused with the way you were acting. Your voice was low and timid as you explained and his eyes went soft as he started dragging you towards the exit.

“I didn’t know yer that shy, babe. I wouldn’ta pulled ya out here if I did. We’re goin’ back home, I didn’t need those pics anyway. Come on.”

Leviathan

If there was anyone as shy as you were, it was Levi. The guy hated leaving the house and being in public settings as much as you did, but when it came up that he was meeting with a couple of the demons that he played online with and he wanted you to come you almost choked on your water.

Of all the brothers, you never once expected that he’d be the one who wanted you to go out and be around people that you didn’t know at all, like, not even one little bit. You had heard him talk to these people so many times, but you didn’t know one thing about them, and now you were supposed to sit at a restaurant with like, five of them and stay the entire time? You were already slightly panicking just at the thought of it.

You were practically shaking as the both of you walked up to the restaurant, scooching further and further behind Levi until you couldn’t be seen by anyone in front of him, and hopefully by none of his friends either. He took a second to look around the restaurant, spotting his friends who all waved in his direction, and then he looked beside himself only to see that you weren’t there. Mini panic attack, but once he sees you behind him he lets out a sigh of relief, shoving his hands in his pockets while looking back and forth between you and the table full of his online friends.

He didn’t waste a minute, shaking his head to his friends before walking back out of the restaurant with you next to him instead of behind him.

“I didn’t want to be there either. We’ll order Akudonalds… marathon an anime, alright? Just the two of us. We’re never doing something like that again.”

Satan

Interacting with people was such a hassle, and he felt like he lost half of his IQ points whenever he had to even be around any other than you and certain brothers that he can actually tolerate. That’s why when Lucifer told him about some silly formal event at Lord Diavolos castle, he did everything, literally everything to try to get out of it.

Much to both of your disappointments, there was nothing either of you could do to not go. To Satan it sounded lame, and to you, it sounded absolutely awful. Having to get dressed up and be around a bunch of people, a bunch of demons who probably didn’t like you in the first place because you were a human. Nope, it sounded like a nightmare and you’d very much like to take a sick day and just not go.

The both of you walked into the castle, arm in arm. The main foyer was already packed with demons dressed in their finest, and even if they weren’t looking at you, it sure as hell felt like they were. It was hard to move behind Satan's back with the way your arms were connected, but that didn’t stop you from unhooking your arm and moving behind him anyway. You didn’t want to be looked at by anyone but him, and now he was definitely looking at you.

Explaining to him was easy, and while he obviously cared about how you felt right now, it was also a great excuse to get out of there.

“I promise, when we get back to the house, we’ll sit by the fire in the library, and I’ll read to you all the books you want me to. But first…thank you for this wonderful reason to not have to be here. Let’s go.”

Asmodeus

The two of you were polar opposites in the social department, and while most people would think that would be a problem, it was actually really nice. You balanced each other out, and he was always mindful of how you felt in social settings.

Taking walks with him wasn’t something that you could do often considering he was a high profile demon, basically celebrity status. On the very rare occasion that you could walk together down the streets of the Devildom, he and you took full advantage of it. You knew that you didn’t have a lot of time to enjoy it though, there would always be the one fan who would cause a scene, and then a mob of other demons would start running in your direction and he’d quickly have to get you home. It wasn’t all that bad, but it did become irritating and having that many people come at you at once was always a nightmare.

This walk was no different, and as soon as you saw the first demon, heard the first squeal, you shifted yourself to stand behind him, squeezing your eyes shut and waiting for it all to end. You felt his hand reach back to grab your own, comforting you as he dealt with the fans that had circled you.

He turned to you as soon as they were dispersed, smiling sweetly at you as he brushed his thumb across your cheek.

“Perhaps next time we’ll take a stroll through the garden instead. How does that sound, my love? Just the two of us, under the stars… I’ll pick your outfit and everything! We’ll both look beautiful!”

Beelzebub

Being the center of attention wasn’t a big deal to him, it neither made him happy or upset him. His ability to focus on something that was most important to him and completely ignore the world around him was a gift, one that you wished that you could obtain.

His favorite places were either being with you and Belphie, or being at the gym, and he came up with the sweetest idea that instead of having his two favorite things at two different times, why not just bring his favorite people to his favorite place?! To him it was the best idea he’s ever had, but to you it was the craziest thing you’ve ever heard. The gym? With a bunch of other demons? Demons who might look at you? Absolutely not. You were still adjusting to being with Beel in the same room as Belphie when it was movie night… and you knew the guy!

Of course, you loved Beel, so you weren’t going to turn down his offer, especially since he seemed so happy about it. It wouldn’t hurt to test the waters a little bit, try to get used to things. No harm in trying… right? Wrong. As soon as you got in, everyone in the place came up to Beel, asking him about weights and spotting and a bunch of other gym things that you couldn’t even focus on because the only thing you could hear more clearly than their words was your heart pounding in your chest.

He could see you move behind him out of the corner of his eye and he felt bad… he felt really bad. He didn’t even question you until he got you out of the gym and back to the house.

“I’m sorry, honey… I’ll have a rest day, and I’ll spend it here with you. We can have snacks and movies, or we can just… snuggle…? Would you like that?”

Belphegor

This man hated being out in public probably more than you did. Not because he was particularly shy, he just hated people that weren’t you or Beel. It was a logical reason, one that you understood, and you didn’t blame him for it. You’d much rather stay in the attic with him all day than have to actually face anyone.

His brothers had different plans for the both of you, and by his brothers, it was just Mammon who wanted to spend time with his little brother. You were all for staying home while Mams took Belphie out, but he refused to let you stay home. If he had to leave the house, so did you. Neither of you were happy about it, but Mammon seemed so excited, and Belphie found out that he didn’t have to pay for anything, so it might actually be worth it… might. He’s not banking on it.

Apparently there was a fair going through the Devildom and Mammon thought that it would be something that Belphie would like… all the noise and lights and… He actually thought it was something that Belphie would enjoy. It’s the thought that counts though, and Mammon really wanted to spend time with Belphie so you couldn’t hate the guy for trying by good god the place was packed. It was awful, and it was loud, and there were people everywhere. It was a nightmare on steroids, the only thing worse would be having to make a public speech in front of all these people.

You didn’t just hide behind Belphie’s back, you got behind him and wrapped your arms as tightly around him as you possibly could, not wanting to get swept away in the sea of people. What better way than to become a statue in the middle of the walk way? He chuckled softly, patting your hands as he called out to Mammon to tell him he was going home before turning around and walking leaving the fairgrounds.

“Don’t change. Never change… and go with me everywhere my brothers force me to go… okay? I really like having you around.”

[hallowxiu]

A Humanistic Fascination

pairing: human!mammon/demon!gn!mc

word count: 3.6k

summary: After your sister Lilith died, you wondered what attracted her to humans in the first place. Your answer comes in the form of a white-haired human named Mammon.

a/n: well this was fun! I kind of want to turn this into a series where mammon is the human selected for the exchange program, but I’m not sure if anyone would be interested. Just let me know; I’m friendly, I don’t bite!! :)

Ever since the day Lilith died and you fell, you had an undying curiosity of humans. You wanted to know what it was about them that drew your sister in so much, a thirst where she was willing to risk and leave everything behind. While your brother Belphegor distanced himself from the humans he once adored, you had done the opposite. Before you and your brothers fell, you didn’t much care for humans. You didn’t dislike them, but you also didn’t like them either. Lilith and Belphegor were always the two to marvel at the creatures down below.

You wanted to know if you missed something. Maybe you didn’t see something the other two had. While your youngest brother now despised them, you wanted to see what drew him in in the first place. Humans had been somewhat of a touchy subject in the House of Lamentation. The obvious reason was Belphegor; anything human related would set him off and it wasn’t a pretty sight. However, the obvious shift in the room whenever humans were brought up was hard to miss.

As the second eldest, you had a bit of a responsibility placed on your shoulders to be a good role model, especially now that the brothers were lost and grieving. Recently, Lord Diavolo had suggested an exchange program where angels and humans would come to the Devildom to learn about the culture in an attempt to join the three realms and have peace. You thought enough time had passed since falling for the brothers to at least consider the idea, but Belphegor had a meltdown and Lucifer nearly locked him up over it. You also noticed a hesitance in your older brother as well. That being said, you wanted to make things easier for everyone. You made sure to help Lucifer with his paperwork so he could get at least some level of sleep, you kept Satan company whenever he felt lonely, you tried to understand all the lingo Leviathan had a tendency to throw out, you tried new foods with Beelzebub (as Belphegor wanted time alone more and more these days…), and you went shopping with Asmodeus every now and then. Belphegor was a different case; he was isolating himself more than Leviathan and you could barely get through to your younger brother. A part of you was hoping that by figuring out more about humans, that you’d somehow be able to get closer with your brother. It was a long shot, and you weren’t even sure it would work, but it was all you had. Even Beelzebub was having a hard time with him these days.

And that’s how you ended up in the human realm. Although you were trying to be a good role model, you did have to sneak away every now and then. Lucifer would never approve of you going to the human realm alone, he had become especially protective of you since falling. You couldn’t blame him; you knew he harbored a lot of blame for the way things ended with Lilith so you tried to be as understanding as you possibly could. That being said, you tried. You still needed to do some things for yourself, and this was one of them. You figured if Lord Diavolo really did plan on hosting an exchange program, growing accustomed to humans and their respective realm would do you some good. For the most part, you stayed hidden in the shadows. When your brothers would travel, like Asmodeus or Satan, they liked to be seen by humans. Never in their demon form (although Satan did lose his temper on that one trip; you try not to delve into that), but they liked to be acknowledged. You were closer to Leviathan in the sense that you liked to blend in with the humans rather than stand out. Unwanted attention might get you into trouble, and the last thing you needed was Lucifer chewing you out about being reckless.

Your eyes narrowed as you observed the streets, taking in the mannerisms of the humans walking by. You were in a busy city and it was mid-December with plenty of human holiday traditions popping up. The hustle and bustle of the city were appealing to you and you could see why so many humans marveled at cities and longed to live there. You were walking through the crowd, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat despite not being even a bit cold. You wanted to fit in though, so you tried to match everyone else. You noticed how everyone was too busy to look at one another; people rushing by too focused on their everyday lives. At the moment, you couldn’t tell what your two siblings found so appealing about humans. They seemed a little selfish if anything.

And, although ironic enough, you were too busy thinking to yourself to notice others around you, which led you straight into slamming into the chest of someone. “Oi, what the hell-- why don’t ya watch where you’re goin’?” The first thing you noticed was the accent. It was odd, and it certainly didn’t seem to match those of the people surrounding you. The second thing you noticed was the harsh attitude from the mere human you stumbled into. The audacity of some of these humans never failed to amaze you-- oh shit.

You blink several times as you look in front of you, a head of white fluffy hair taking up most of your vision. You still weren’t used to all the interesting colors humans picked to wear, despite the Devildom being filled to the brim with demons who also had some... unique tastes. Hair aside, he was absolutely stunning. You couldn’t find yourself able to look away-- was he also a demon? Did he put you under some kind of spell? Of course, you wouldn’t be surprised to see another demon lurking about, but still--

“Hello? Are ya deaf or somethin’? Ya can’t just go runnin’ into people and then stare at them with these bug eyes. It’s a bit weird, ya know.” Oh, right.

“Uh… sorry?” Not exactly what you planned on saying.

“Yeah…” The man looks at you with a raised eyebrow before clearing his throat and looking away. “Well, I’m in a bit of a rush, so I can’t just stand here all day. Just make sure ya don’t continue to slam into people. Not all of them are as nice as me.” He gives you a wink with that final line and you try to ignore the heat that’s building up in your face. Nice my ass, you can’t help but think. And nearly just as quick as he popped into your life, he vanished. You’re impressed with how fast these humans are; maybe you don’t give them enough credit.

“And where were you?” You were hoping to go unnoticed, but as your luck would have it, of course, Lucifer would catch you the second you walked through the front door. You weren’t a great liar and you both knew this, so you needed to play your cards right. You doubt he’d be happy to know you’ve been running around unsupervised in another realm.

“Uh--”

“You smell like human food.” Beelzebub is quick to point out as he walks into the living room. “Did you bring some human food? Are you going to share?” The red-headed demon is looking at you with a hopeful face and had he not just indirectly ratted you out, you’d probably feel bad for not having any food on you.

“I don’t have any food.” You put it simply and your brother pouts in response. Lucifer, however, is looking at you with a very intense gaze.

“And would you care to explain why you would smell like human food at all?” His arms are crossed over his chest and his foot is tapping against the polished floor. Yeah, you were definitely busted. “And why do you reek of cheap cologne? Were you out with a man?”

“Okay dad, calm down.” You put your hands up in submission. “I was not out with a man, I bumped into one on accident.” More like body slammed into one, but he didn’t need the details. “Maybe he had some human food on him, I don’t know why else I’d smell like it.”

“Must have slammed into him pretty hard to smell that strongly of humans. Unless, of course, the man you crossed paths with was a human.” You swallow thickly under Lucifer’s watchful eye. Damn, you really couldn’t get anything past that man.

“I don’t know why a human would be in the Devildom.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why either.” Lucifer’s looking even more annoyed now. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that. You might have just walked into a trap. “Unless of course…”

“Well, look, maybe he was in the human realm and had a bit of a snack. Maybe he chomped on some humans, I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I can’t keep track of every demon I happen to bump into, but next time I run into one I’ll be sure to take some notes and interview them just in case you don’t like how I smell when I come back home.”

“Watch how you talk to me.” Lucifer was getting a little worked up, but to be fair, so were you. You didn’t mean to be so defensive, but when dealing with someone as investigative as Lucifer, could you really be blamed?

“Well, this was fun and all,” you fake a yawn, “but I’m actually quite tired now. Think I’ll go to bed. Catch some shut-eye. Speaking of,” you point an accusing finger at the eldest, “you should too. All this lack of sleep is what makes you so grumpy.”

“Yes,” he deadpans, “I’m sure it’s the lack of sleep that has me like this.”

Okay, so maybe you had a bit of a problem. Not a big problem, but a problem nonetheless. It had been exactly two days since your first and last outing to the human realm. You had a good time overall, but a certain white-haired boy grabbed your attention and refused to let go. The problem? You knew nothing about him. All you knew was that he had an interesting accent and that he maybe lived in a city. At the very least, he had business in the city. If you still haven’t guessed, your problem is that you can’t get this kid out of your head. You didn’t plan on traveling back to the human realm so soon, but well, life happens and here you are. Right back in the same city as two days ago.

It was still as busy as last time, with people shoving their way down the streets, bags in hands and eyes glued to phone screens. It would be impossible to spot him in this crowd, so you’d have to snoop around. Was this really something you were proud of? No, but you were a demon and you let it justify the odd things you indulged in.

You made your way down a sidewalk, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat once again as you kept a watchful eye out. Your eyes landed on a small restaurant that was tucked away in a corner and the smell caught your attention. Having temporarily forgotten your mission, and instead thinking of picking up some food for Beelzebub, you made your way towards the restaurant. Pushing the door open, you heard a bell above you ring, alerting your presence to the workers.

“Good afternoon.” A cheerful woman says from behind the counter, currently in the middle of taking an order from a customer. You nod your head in response, debating internally whether or not bringing Beelzebub back food would be worth the scolding from Lucifer as yes, you would essentially be ratting yourself out. You could probably get Beelzebub to swear silence in turn for the food though. As you weigh the pros and cons in your head, you hear a familiar voice come from behind you which makes you freeze in place.

“Eh? What are ya doin’ here? Ya followin’ me or somethin’?” You knew the man was probably joking, but uh… yes. Well, you were at the start, technically, but as luck would have it you just happened to bump into him again, so technically you didn’t stalk him and technically you didn’t track him down. So, no, you were not creepy.

“Yes.” You deadpan, and the white-haired man looks puzzled for a minute before erupting into laughter.

“You��re funny.” He gives you a firm pat on the back as he walks by, and that’s when you take in his appearance. He was wearing an apron, so you could assume he was a waiter for the restaurant. Wow, weren’t you the luckiest demon on this planet? Your eyes scan his uniform, looking for a name tag. Your eyebrow quirks in amusement when you read the word ‘Mammon’. Did his parents hate him? Why would they name a child that? What next? Was his middle name Lucifer too?

“Your name is Mammon.” You deadpan once again.

“Yes.” He replies, a bit of a pout on his lips. You assume he gets comments on his name all the time. You wonder why he hasn’t legally changed it; humans have a process for that, don’t they? They love to change everything.

“It’s nice.” You weren’t lying. As a demon, you did appreciate names on humans that derived from your kind. Although definitely taboo for humans, it was always fascinating to you to see that some humans actually did walk around with demon names.

“Eh? Really?” He’s looking at you with wide eyes again before a dopey smile forms on his lips as the two of you stand chatting by the entrance. “I don’t get that a lot. Are you from around here? I haven’t seen ya much. Have ya been here before?”

“I’m new to the area.” It wasn’t really a lie. “So I’ve just been exploring the area, trying to take everything in. I thought this place smelled good so I came here. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” But it did make things easier. Now that you had a name to a face, maybe you’d be able to get him out of your head.

“So that’s the excuse you’re goin’ with, yeah?” There’s a playful grin on his lips before he leads you to a table. “Just sit tight, I’ll be the one takin’ your order, so glance over the menu, okay?” You can only nod in response as he’s gone almost immediately after. Well, Lucifer would definitely notice your scent now. Nothing about you smelled like a demon; in fact, you’re sure you smelled more human at this point than anything else.

Your eyes follow Mammon’s figure as he disappears into the back, doing who knows what. Cheap cologne, you remember Lucifer bringing that up the other day. You didn’t think Mammon smelled like cheap cologne, he actually smelled quite nice.

You decided to bring your attention to the menu placed on the table in front of you as you found yourself getting too distracted and you didn’t want to risk looking like an actual stalker (although that’s already up in the air) when Mammon comes back. Your eyebrow quirked as you looked over the food. So it’s a café type of place? How cute, you can’t help but think to yourself. You weren’t too hungry, but the longer you stayed there the longer you’d be able to see Mammon. You could always bring it back to Beelzebub.

“Decide on anythin’ yet?” He asks, startling you out of your thoughts. Why didn’t you sense his arrival? You give him a confused look when he places a mug down in front of you. “What? Ya look like a hot chocolate kind of… person?” You stifle a laugh at his odd attempt to address you.

“I do like hot chocolate.” Was it hot in here or was it just you? You cup your hands around the mug and try not to look up at the white-haired man in fear of staring at him like a creep.

“Of course. My intuition is never wrong.” He gives you a wink, which you happen to look up just in time to catch, and low and behold your face is beet red. Just your luck. “So? What do ya want?”

“What do I want?” You choke out and Mammon looks at you with another raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, what do ya want to eat?” Duh.

“U-Uh, yeah, this!” In a panic, you quickly point at a random spot on the menu, to which Mammon bends down to examine it.

“So you’re big on sweets, yeah? I like chocolate too, but that’s a lot even for me.” He has a toothy grin on his face and you quickly look down to see just what exactly it was that you picked out. A chocolate cake drizzled in chocolate sauce served with a side of chocolate wafers. Yeah, that wouldn’t have been your pick if you had actually paid attention, but it is what it is.

“It’s because I’m so sweet.” Yeah, you hated that the second it left your mouth. Mammon, however, seemed to like it as he blurted out a laugh.

“I can’t say that I disagree.” He looks thoughtful for a moment before shifting on his feet. “I’m about to go on break, would ya mind if I sat with ya?” And cue your cheeks heating up again. You just hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Sure, yeah, I don’t mind.” You’re scratching at the back of your neck shyly as you look around the mostly empty restaurant.

“Cool!” Your face is buried in your hands once the man leaves, a shaky sigh leaving you. Did he want to sit with you? You didn’t know if you should consider yourself lucky or unlucky at this point.

At least ten minutes went by before Mammon joined you at your table, the man pulling out his phone as he sat in the empty seat. He was clearly excited to be on break, the man rambling about his day and all the annoying customers he had to deal with. You listen silently as you pick at your cake. You had forced yourself to eat half of it before he joined you, not wanting to look like you didn’t like it and have the white-haired boy ask you questions regarding it. You were still unsure how to feel about his company, but a part of you felt lighter than before.

“What time do you work until?” You found yourself asking and you shyly glanced over at the other.

“I close.” There’s a pout on his lips and you find yourself smiling. “Kinda sucks, but the pay is alright. Better than nothin’ anyway, especially with the holidays comin’ up and all.” He’s playing with his fingers as he glances down at his phone. Was he waiting for something? Maybe he had a partner and he was waiting for them to text him back. For some reason, that thought makes you frown. “Ah, actually,” there’s a sheepish smile on his lips and his cheeks are turning a pretty shade of red, “I was wonderin’ if I could actually get your number.” He’s scratching at the back of his neck and you feel your heart skip several beats in response. He wanted your number? Your number? Him? Your expression must have startled him as the man across from you started stammering out an excuse. “Ah, but, actually-- if it’s too invasive, I didn’t mean anythin’ like that-- I swear, oh god.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” You were beyond grateful, but there was only one teenie tiny issue. “I don’t have a phone.” Well, a human phone that is. You had a perfectly working D.D.D, but nothing that could interact with the human realm. Mammon looks slightly dejected and you know that he doesn’t buy your excuse. You weren’t surprised, a lot of humans seemed to have phones in this era. Living without one seemed to be impossible for them. And, as if the universe wanted to punish you for flirting with a human that was so beneath you, your D.D.D immediately goes off.

Your face pales as you just stare in horror at Mammon. He looks slightly annoyed, though you can tell he’s trying to play it off. That had to sting. “Look, it’s cool. Ya don’t owe me any explanations if ya don’t want me havin’ your number.” He checks his phone once again, the silence in the air suffocating you. “Ya should probably answer that, don’t ya think?” Yeah, he was definitely annoyed with you. You clumsily grab your D.D.D from your pocket, nearly dropping it in the process. You swear under your breath when seeing it’s Lucifer. You wonder what the odds were of him finding out you were in the human realm.

“I uh, I have to go.”

“Important call?” There was bitterness just barely contained in his voice. How did things go so wrong so fast?

“I’m sorry.” You say lamely before leaving all the human currency you had on the table and darted out the doors of the restaurant. God, you’d never be able to show your face in the human realm again. That embarrassment would last for centuries, you were sure of it.

[avengers-age-of-fanfics]

just for you, honeybee (3/?)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, steve rogers x reader (platonic)

word count: 3,986

authors note: part three!!!! I'm honestly so happy with how this is turning out so please leave feedback and lmk how I'm doing! thank you all so much :)

warnings: swearing, super soldier serum injection, needles, drinking

summary: dating back to 1943, you, james barnes, and steve rogers were best friends, including bucky being your boyfriend. when you get a notice that bucky died in the war, you make it your mission to find closure for yourself and protect steve as he is the only remaining piece of bucky you have left. once you are offered the super soldier serum, you and steve must make your way through world war 2 - and the unknown future hardships to come.

recap: You picked at your nails, anxiety swallowing you whole, “and what if you don’t make it back, either?”

“I will.”

-

It had only taken you 5 days to make up your mind: either go with Steve as he finishes out his mission with the army or wait in Brooklyn upon his return. “Well,” you always bit back, “if you return.”

You did not want to stay in Brooklyn and wait for Steve to come back. You had done that with Bucky and after learning his tragic death, you needed to go with Steve. You didn’t care who you had to fight – you were protecting Steve Rogers and looking after him, just like James would have wanted.

Peggy Carter immediately welcomed you and seemed somewhat relieved when you had met with them outside your apartment complex, bags packed and ready to go. She had given you a soft smile and a nod, making you feel more at calm with your decision. However, before you left, you needed to say goodbye – just in case.

Dressed in a tie-neck floral dress, you headed across the street to where Grover was, selling newspapers once again in the early morning. However, when he wasn’t on the sidewalk, he was in your apartment, holding you as you cried for Bucky. Grover had helped you open Bucky’s files and put on his dog tags; he was there while Steve was sorting out your arrangements with Peggy. He had your snot stains on his nicest shirts that you always apologized for, and he had carefully placed the dog tags over your head; Grover was certainly one of your rocks when Steve needed to grieve on his own, which you understood.

Noticing your approaching figure, Grover stood up and shooed people away from his stand, meeting you halfway. He noticed your solemn look, “you goin’ with Mr. America?”

With a nod, you wrapped your arms around the older man’s neck, his chubby arms meeting your waist in a split second, “I have to, Grove. I needta’ keep my promise to James, and watch after Stevie.”

Grover tightened his grip around you and squeezed, much like a father would, “sure that super soldier can’t do it himself? Looks more than capable.”

You shook your head against his neck, “I promised – I promised James; you know that.”

Grover pulled away, resting his hands on your shoulders, “I know you did, kid…but that don’t mean it still pains me to see ya go…Come back here, the both of you, in one piece – ya hear me?”

With a nod, you squeezed Grover’s hand on your shoulder and went back to where Steve and Peggy were standing by an army truck, your bags already in the trunk. As the two looked back at you, you gave a curt nod, “I’m ready.”

Steve helped you into the backseat as Peggy headed up front, starting the truck up once you were all piled in. As you rode off, away from Brooklyn, you looked back to your home, and gave a sad wave to Grover who was already back to selling newspapers – but you saw him wiping his cheeks. Tears flooded your eyes as you imagined you and Bucky finding a nice white picket house in Brooklyn once he came back like he promised. Turning back around, you wiped your eyes, looking forward to the road, a hand wrapped around Bucky’s dog tags.

Only a little while into the car ride, you leaned forward, asking the two soldiers a question, “where exactly are we headed?”

Steve turned around towards you, “first, Camp Lehigh where we’ll get you some ID so they know you’re with Peggy and me. Then, London, where Colonel Phillips got a lead on Schmidt’s new hideout.”

You looked down at your nails, picking at the skin surrounding them, “can I be of help in any way? And, uh… who is Schmidt?”

Peggy glanced back at you for a quick moment, “how are your fighting skills, y/n?”

Steve gave her a glare, “no, absolutely not.”

The driver looked back once more, expecting an answer. You glanced at Steve, “I’ve got experience with guns and hand-on-hand combat.”

Steve shook his head, “that’s nice but I’m not letting you do what I think Peggy is insinuating.”

Peggy elbowed him before she answered you, “there’s a chance your skills may come in handy, Miss y/n, but it won’t be an easy feat.”

You nodded to her, “I’d like to be of any service I can, Agent Carter.”

Steve grumbled, “am I just invisible to you two?” That finally got a giggle out of you and Steve glanced back, squeezing your hand, before turning towards the front.

You waited a few moments before you tapped Steve’s shoulder, getting his attention, “hmm?”

With a head tilt, you asked again, “who is this Schmidt guy? Never got an answer earlier.”

Steve seemed a bit tense when you asked before answering you, “he’s a confidant to Hitler and closely affiliated with Hydra. Once we take down Schmidt, we get closer to taking down Hitler.”

Your eyes had widened during his short summary, “so you really been killin’ Nazis, Stevie?”

He huffed, “been trying too – mostly taking over Hydra bases. Buck was more the killing Nazi type.”

With a slight smile, you squeezed Steve’s hand, “sounds like our James.”

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for some mindless chatter over Peggy’s radio.

By the time you three got to Camp Lehigh, getting your identification was nothing out of the ordinary; however, being looked at with either such sorrow or surprise was a shock. You had assumed people knew about Bucky, but you never thought Bucky had told everyone about the girl from home, nor that they knew what she looked like. Tears flooded your eyes very quickly at the image of Bucky boasting about his Brooklyn girl and everything about her, and apparently, his words got all the way back to New Jersey.

Even when you got to the London Bunker, more dejected looks were given your way. Some sick part of you wished he hadn’t made you such a big deal, but if he were still alive, you’d be flustered. With subtle hands, you quietly put Bucky’s dog talks within your new army greens officer uniform. While you definitely were not an officer, Peggy had no problem lending you one of hers, telling you that if someone had a problem with it, take it up with her.

You clearly remembered her conversation as she dragged you into her tent, quickly shoveling through a trunk of hers, “are you alright wearing one of these? I have a few different sizes – whatever fits you.”

You accepted a green skirt of hers with a nod, along with a tan-colored blouse and a green jacket. Thankfully, it had no medals on it so you didn’t exactly feel as if you were impersonating a soldier.

You looked towards Peggy as she made her leave, “thank you, Agent Carter…You truly did not have to do this but – but I appreciate it.”

Peggy gave a soft smile as she opened the tent, “anything for Barnes’ girl.”

Right when she left, you sobbed for a good 20 minutes. You remember mumbling to yourself, “I hope I still am your best girl, Jamie.”

Over the next few days, you had quickly grown accustomed to the troops' fast pace and overall serious atmosphere, along with their Colonel. You would never admit it to the man, but Colonel Phillips scared you when you two had first met; you wondered if he had ever laughed in his entire life. And you definitely wouldn’t tell him this either, but you knew he was a big softie underneath that whole ‘I’m Colonel Phillips and you have to be intimidated by me’ attitude. Once you had arrived in London, you made it your mission to make the Colonel laugh, whether it be at your expense or someone else’s – but it took your mind off James; well, as much as it could.

One man who admired your mission and seemed to play along with it was Mr. Howard Stark; when the two of you weren’t messing around, history was being made, and changing the world for the better was your first priority.

Besides his cocky attitude, Howard had truly become one of your favorite people – besides Captain America himself, of course. When Steve had introduced you to the team focused on finding Schmidt and the rest of Hydra, Howard had taken to you liking a father hen, showing you his new tech and his favorite, the new vibranium shield he made for Cap. He was so ecstatic about showing a new face his greatest creation and how indestructible it was; as he told you, everyone else did not seem as impressed and he needed someone with a brain like yours to comprehend what he made.

While nobody else knew, he had also shown you the last remaining vial of the super-soldier serum Dr. Erskine had made and thus, what Howard had been trying to recreate. He had almost been successful but told you he did not want to use Erskine’s last vial on someone, in case it ever came to that. Instead, he wanted to try his own, one that would not affect one’s looks physically but included all the enhancements. Now that got you intrigued; you loved Steve, truly, but if you ever got the chance to take Stark’s serum and wanted a husband in the future, you did not want to look so…bulky.

The two of you worked closely together, using Stark brainpower and L/N design skills and expert eye to create the new symbol for Captain America.

With a pretty decent paint job on your part, both you and Howard took a step back from the upheld shield, looking over the new red, white and blue design, fit with a silver star. Tears filled your eyes but you refused to let them fall as Howard rested a hand on your back – your Stevie would be carrying that shield proudly very shortly.

Howard pulled you into a quick side hug, “Sergeant Barnes would be proud of you, kid. Look at you, designing Captain America’s new shield!”

With a soft laugh, you wiped your eyes, “I hope he would be.”

Before Howard stepped away to give you some space, you grabbed onto his arm, eyes darting towards the suitcase underneath his desk, “can I ask you something, Howard?”

Howard crossed his arms, “what’s goin’ on inside that head of yours, kiddo?”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, “listen, I know you’re gonna say no, but I just… I need to get this out.”

Howard noticed your serious tone and pulled you against a corner of the huge bunker that had been your home for the past couple of days, surrounded by books that you had read in record time, “go on, kid.”

You fumbled over your words, nails scratching against your skin, “do you think – do you think I could take the serum? Your recreation, of course – I saw your successful attempts and I want to take it. I’ve thought it over, truly, and it’s what I want. Ever since James – ever since James died, I’ve felt so lost and useless; I want to do something, something that James would be proud of. And I know you’re gonna say no, but Howard, I really need to do this, so please-“

Howard interrupted you, hand held up calmly, “let’s talk to Colonel Phillips, okay?”

Your eyes grew wide, “real-really? No immediate reprimanding?”

He looked at you with soft eyes, “I know what you’re feeling, y/n, and it’s not a good feeling. While I wish there was another solution other than you taking the serum, I – I’m not opposed to it. Maybe we need a sidekick.”

You gave a slight smile as he grinned back, “thank you, Howie.” He pinched your arm in response to his nickname, narrowing his eyes playfully.

The moment you asked Colonel Phillips for a private meeting with you, him, Howard, and Peggy, he already seemed on edge. Woke up on the wrong side of the cot, sour coffee, you weren’t sure – but you were sure that he was not going to be happy with your idea.

As expected, the meeting with Colonel Phillips was not exactly great; he may have thrown a fit and yelled at you for even suggesting such a thing. Okay, ouch, that stung – you genuinely thought it was a good idea.

You had interrupted during such fit, “sir, may I remind you that Steve Rogers had no prior fighting experience yet he got the super-soldier serum? I have the skills – well, some skills - the will to fight, and the…”

You stopped.

“I have a purpose, just like Steve,” you began once more, “Hydra took away the most important person in my life and I’ll be damned to hell if I’m not gonna do anything to stop them. So please, sir, let me do this.”

Peggy Carter stood beside Colonel Phillips, her lips twitching up in a slight smile, “you remind me of him. Of Barnes.” The Colonel grumbled.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, “I guess he rubbed off on me.”

Peggy looked to Colonel Phillips as he was deep in thought, until he spoke, “you talk to Rogers about this?”

You shook your head, “no, sir.”

Colonel Phillips crossed his arms, “I suggest you bring it to his attention before we make a final decision, l/n. Then, if we decide yes, we’re going to need to change the plan just a tad bit.”

With a nod, you stood up and walked out of the meeting room, hoping to find Steve around the corner somewhere; on your way out, you already heard Colonel Phillips grumbling about how it would be nice to have another super-soldier.

One of the Howling Commandos spoke up during your search for Steve, “he’s over at Crocker’s Folly. Bar right across the street from here, kid.” You thanked him and walked out of the site, spotting a very beat-down bar just across the street, surprisingly still standing.

Heading over, you had honestly no idea how to bring up the idea of you taking the serum to Steve; it definitely was no normal conversation. You knew he would say no, but you wanted to take it and be of use during the war and avenge Bucky in any way you could. Once inside, you heard a radio in the distance of the bar, unsure of what song was playing. Following the sound, broken glass and among other things crunched under your footsteps, letting Steve know someone was there.

Sitting at a table with a bottle of liquor and a glass by himself, your best friend turned around and glanced at you, pulling up a chair. You gave a small smile, finding the seat right across from him, “are you okay?”

Steve shrugged, “that Dr. Erskine said the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing… which means uh.. –“

“You can’t get drunk.”

Steve shot you a look, “when you’d get so smart?”

You kicked his foot with a chuckle, “when I started hangin’ out with Howard.”

He gave a sad smile as tears flooded his eyes, “I am so sorry, y/n.”

You choked back a sob, eyes filling with tears, “it wasn’t your fault, Stevie. I know that you did everything you could.”

Steve’s eyes were brimmed red, “how are you – how are you staying so strong?”

Clearing your throat of the sob making its way up, you licked your lips, “I feel like I’ve cried too many tears, Steve. I want to cry more, my god I do, but I know he wouldn’t want that.”

Steve nodded, “’m sorry to bring him up, I just…” he mumbled, “I’m going to kill Schmidt and all of Hydra if it’s the last thing ‘m gonna do, y/n.” His hand had curled into a fist and you felt the anger radiating off of him.

You grasped his hand, softly uncurling it, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something, pertaining Schmidt.”

Steve let out a grumble, taking one last sip of his drink, “everything okay?”

You nodded, “I – I’m okay. But Howard…he has a remaining vial of the serum from Dr. Erskine and has even recreated it himself. I talked to Peggy and Colonel Phillips and I’m going to take it, the recreation.”

Steve’s eyes shot up to yours, “Y/N, I can’t – I can’t let you do that. It’s too dangerous and I promised –“

“Steve,” you stopped him, “I know you promised Bucky that you would look out for me. I promised him that about you, too. But I want to do this. It’s my decision and I’m hoping you’ll let me do this for myself and Buck.”

The man across from you looked down at his glass for a long while before he looked you in the eyes with a grin, “’gonna pretend I can get drunk and forget why I even agreed.”

A small smile formed on your lips as you reached over, squeezing his hand, “thank you, Stevie. Now c’mon, we got a serum to inject and plans to tweak.”

When the two of you reached the bunker once again, you nodded to Howard and he let out a breath. He was not exactly looking forward to this, injecting you with the serum, but it’s what you wanted. Word quickly got to Colonel Phillips who seemed a bit relieved himself, glad there were no tantrums thrown – much like his.

Down the many halls of the bunker, Howard, Peggy, and a few nurses prepared an operation room, a bed centered in the middle of the room as lights displayed it. Once you were injected, you would need a few moments to recollect yourself – both of them knew this.

You, Colonel Phillips, and Steve stood outside the operation room, looking in as Howard laid out the serum and sedation if needed. The Colonel spoke up first, looking down at you, “you certain about this? There’s no guarantee you’ll live.”

You nodded, “I’m aware, Colonel. But I’ve thought it through and it’s what I want.”

Steve looked to you as the Colonel looked on, “you yell for me if you need me, okay? I’m right outside.” You gave him a small smile before you headed inside per Howard’s direction.

Steve stopped you once more, “and y/n?”

You turned around to look at him as he continued, “you’re a good person. Maybe not a perfect soldier yet, but a good person.”

You smiled at Steve, “looks like I’ll need you as my teacher once I become your sidekick, Stevie.” You both let out a chuckle.

Nurses stood behind the two tables surrounding the cot you were instructed to lay on, taking off your shirt and tossing it into Peggy’s arms, letting out a whistle, immediately calming your nerves. You flashed her a smile which she returned.

Bright lights shining onto your body – now only clad in a bra and some army green cargo pants – your gaze shifted to Howard. He looked albeit nervous but once he caught your eye, all nerves disappeared, “how ya feelin’ kid?”

You chuckled, “like I’m about to be turned into a super-soldier.”

Howard’s shoulders shook with a slight laugh, “that’s nuts – it’s almost as if I’m administering said serum. I’m gonna inject you with some penicillin, okay?”

You nodded your head, looking towards the window where you saw Steve looking way too tense. With a smile, you gave him a thumbs up in which he chuckled at, shaking his head. Beside him stood the Colonel who looked nervous himself, but with a blow-kiss, you saw him roll his eyes and turn back into your stern Colonel Phillips.

Howard spoke up, grabbing your attention, “now, y/n, your transformation will be a bit different from Steve’s, but the outcome should be the same – just no outer physical changes, as I mentioned. No need for nerves. You ready?”

You nodded, and with a deep breath, you felt the sharp needle penetrate your skin, injecting you with the serum. As the serum coursed through your veins, your skin felt as if it were on fire, your breaths growing quicker and sweat already forming on your skin. Howard noticed your breaths, “deep breaths, kid, don’t rush the process. You got this. How ya feelin’?”

You grunted, “burning – hot but cold. Freezer burn.”

Howard grew pale, somehow making sense of your words, “okay, y/n, you gotta fight this. Don’t let the serum override your body – you gotta let it combine with your cells. C’mon, kid!” Peggy’s grip tightened on your shirt as she looked on, whispering words of encouragement.

Outside, Steve and Colonel Phillips began pacing, the Colonel glaring through the window, telling himself that he could telepathically communicate with you and force you to live through this. Steve bit his thumb, growing more and more anxious by the second.

Your body had now started to sweat profusely, the shine adding itself to your figure as you breathed heavier, a gasp and a sharp scream leaving your lips. Steve immediately ran in, holding your hand, “y/n, come on, please! Fight this – don’t give up, please. I – I need you, we all do.”

In a split second, your eyes opened, meeting Steve’s for a split second before you let out another yell, eyes squeezing shut once more, “Steve! It hurts – it hurts!”

Your whole body felt as if it were on fire yet hypothermic, your chest feeling so heavy that it was difficult to breathe. Every cell in your body felt as if it were being torn apart and being put back together again; you talked to yourself in your head, “how the hell did Steve do this?”

Steve ran a hand over your now-damp hair, “I know, I know, but you got this, y/n. Once you beat this, we’ll go and kill those sonsabitches at Hydra, you hear me? You gotta beat this.”

Over time, which honestly felt like hours, your body slowly started to welcome the serum and new changes within your body, your breathing returning to normal and sweat disappearing onto the cot below you, body returning to normal temperature. With only a slightly bloody nose, you felt…good. Resting against the cot, you let out a sigh, eyes fluttering.

Howard hooked an IV up to your arm, returning the liquids you had sweat out, pushing your shoulder lightly, “’gotta talk to me, kid.”

You grumbled, “’m tired…but feel like I could run a marathon.”

Steve’s hand squeezed yours as he let out a laugh, looking up to the ceiling, “that’s your girl, Barnes. You did great, y/n – you did great.”

Eyes still shut, you hummed, “mmm…do I have abs of steel now?”

Steve chuckled, “would it make you feel better if I said yes?”

You nodded your head, a dopey smile on your face. Steve continued, “I wouldn’t want to fight you in the ring, bug.”

Slowly but surely, you opened your eyes, adjusting to the way your body felt and sensed everything around you. With a grunt, you rubbed your eyes, glancing at your hands – hmm, they looked the same?

Howard noticed your confusion, “Remember what I said, kid? No outer physical changes, but you got all the upgrades Rogers has. Better looking, obviously,” you let out a soft laugh, “just not as bulky.”

With a hum, you sat up, fighting off Steve and Howard’s mother hen tendencies, “’mentioned that earlier…bulky. ‘m fine, by the way – stop worryin’.”

Slowly getting off the cot, you walked around the room, stretching your legs and your whole body. Everything felt different but good; it’s like your senses and every cell within your body were heightened. “It felt cold,” you mentioned to Howard, “the serum.”

He nodded, “as opposed to the vita-rays, we had to keep it in cold storage. Easier that way.”

You hummed, and while turning around in the small room, your eyes met Steve’s once more, “well Captain, what now?”

-

Honeybee Taglist:

@clownerlyluv @ginger-swag-rapunzel

[singingaboutwishingx]

the sam/josh/donna we DESERVED

so, as we all know, canon neither confirms nor denies the existence of a josh/sam relationship

this, of course, means it happened.

and so when sam and donna find themselves in bed together at the beginning of year four, as attractive people tend to do, this becomes a problem for both of them

because the two of them had always been pretty close

(they were both individually closer to josh but had formed a friendship in their own right. donna had been sleeping in sam’s guest room at least once a month for a year before it happened)

but anyway, this closeness was partially born out of the fact that they both had feelings for josh

sam, as josh’s ex, would have taken him back in a second, and what began as a seed of a crush for donna soon blossomed into love

it’s nice to feel things with a friend, and they didn’t do it a whole lot, but it was definitely a bonding point for them

anyway they both knew that about the other and went “oh shit” when they woke up the morning after

because like,,, their feelings for josh absolutely had not gone away, but sam’s pretty goddamn, well, pretty, and donna more or less rocked his world

so they keep it up because, hey, josh is doing... whatever he’s doing with amy gardner right now, and it’s pretty obvious that he’s not interested in either one of them for the foreseeable future

(they’re both absolutely oblivious, but they are kind of right—neither of them will get involved with josh anytime soon)

they throw a few real, outside-of-sam’s-apartment dates into the mix

it’s clear pretty quickly that this isn’t a fluke. they’d enjoyed each other’s company before, but donna very much likes sitting on sam’s lap instead of next to him at a respectable distance, and sam certainly isn’t complaining about it, either

it’s a few months before anyone significant finds out

(at this point, the only people who know are donna’s roommate and sam’s doorman)

there’s a knock on sam’s door one saturday morning as he and donna lay in bed

sam reluctantly goes to answer the door (“couldn’t i just pretend i’m not home?” he pulls her closer. “sam, what if it’s important?”)

when josh calls sam’s cell phone, sam doesn’t get a word out before josh starts “sam, come open your door. i’m outside.”

donna and sam are Very Stressed about this

it’s fine, though. as long as donna stays in the bedroom, quietly, josh doesn’t need to find out

and so sam goes to open the door, but decidedly does not invite josh in

“sam, what’s goin’ on? you got someone here or something?”

“um, yeah.”

“oh. you could have just said so.” josh’s eyes wander past sam to the coffee table. “is—is that... donna’s purse?”

sam’s eyes widen. shit.

needless to say, josh did not take it very well.

sam calls donna out of the bedroom, and the way the too-big sweatshirt she’s wearing—unmistakably sam’s—drapes over her goes straight to josh’s heart.

sam and donna sit on the couch while josh paces in front of them

“so, let me get this straight. my—my best friend, and my... other best friend are sleeping together and they didn’t tell me for months?”

josh has been rubbing his temples for so long that donna’s afraid he’ll rub his skin off

he’s not not happy for them, but donna and sam aren’t the only ones with feelings for their coworker and their ex

and that’s just kind of how it is for a while.

donna and sam don’t exactly hide, but they try their best to keep it on the down low for both press reasons and josh reasons

mostly they just order takeout and eat it on sam’s couch because neither of them really has the energy to do anything else

josh never, ever asks either one of them about it. he can’t. the less information he knows, the better.

he genuinely can’t stand it because it just doesn’t feel right to him. sam and donna? really? (no of course he doesn’t have feelings for either one of them he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t)

unfortunately for sam and donna, the little routine they’ve settled into comes to a screeching halt in november, when sam pulls donna into his office and tells her he might have to move across the country because he’s running for the california 47th? why the hell didn’t you tell anyone?

and listen, cj and leo have simultaneous aneurysms, but that’s nothing compared to the way donna’s and josh’s hearts just shatter

josh doesn’t really talk to sam about it. he’s afraid he’ll just break down, and he really, really doesn’t have time to cry, especially in front of sam. he just... he can’t do it

donna doesn’t really know what to do. she and sam talk about it, of course, and decide to maybe stop seeing each other, but what does she say? “i broke up with my boyfriend”? they were hitting the stops of dating, she supposes, and they would occasionally refer to each other as their boyfriend/girlfriend in public, but really only for the benefit of others

(donna preferred the way ginger would put it, which was “donna, how’s your man?” she liked that better. “boyfriend” felt too formal, too established. she and sam were a little more casual than that, she thinks)

(and she loved him, she did, but there was something (josh) keeping her from really feeling like sam was her boyfriend)

but anyway, they leave it kind of open-ended (which is how sam ends up in donna’s hotel room when the senior staff goes to california)

smash cut to march 2007: josh and donna are a pretty established couple, and sam is two and a half months off another broken engagement

sam’s thrilled for them because, seriously, they danced around that thing for years. they deserve to be together in broad daylight.

his feelings for the both of them never really went away, but he knows they’ve both moved on

(they had not, in fact)

unsurprisingly, it’s donna who brings it up to josh

“so, we both dated sam.”

“...yeah?”

“i don’t know about you, but... now that he’s back in dc, i wouldn’t be opposed to seeing him again.”

“i... donna, are you trying to break up with me?”

“no—no, of course not. what i’m trying to ask is if you would be opposed to... seeing him with me. together.”

“oh.”

josh stares into the distance for so long that donna starts to worry

“josh?”

“sorry, yeah?”

“what do you think?”

“i don’t think... sam’s fresh off an engagement. i’m not sure he would be in the headspace for a one-time thing with two of his exes. quite frankly, i’m not sure i am, either.”

“oh, i didn’t mean a one-time thing. i was thinking more... long term. if that’s something both you and he would be into.”

josh looks back at donna, the smile on his face growing

“oh. well, yeah, i... i think i’d be into that.”

and so they set up a dinner. they ask sam to come over to their place, telling him that the three of them need to talk. it’s nothing urgent, they tell him, just a long-overdue catch-up.

(and really, it is—the transition and first two months had been too busy for the three of them to sit down, regardless)

so they have dinner, and afterward, they send sam to sit on the couch in the living room while they bring down the dishes

when they finish, donna perches on the arm of couch above sam, and josh sits next to him

she starts stroking his hair, and sam, too touch-starved to think about it, just leans into her. they’d always been platonically affectionate (and donna’s kind of like that with everyone, anyway), so he’s not particularly worried.

“sammy,” josh starts, and now sam does start to worry.

josh only ever called him “sammy” when they were dating—why bring it back now?

josh keeps going. “donna and i have been talking for a while now about making a change.”

“we both love you, you know that?” donna picks up, continuing to run her fingers through sam’s hair. “and we know you love us.”

sam still can’t figure out what’s happening for the life of him

“yeah, i know,” he says quietly. “and i do.”

josh smiles at him. “we were talking, and donna reminded me that we’ve both dated you at one point or another. and the funny thing is that neither of us really ever stopped having feelings for you.”

oh, sam thinks.

“and we were wondering,” donna says, “if you might still have feelings for us.”

sam stiffens up a little bit—he’s spent so long trying to find anyone that held a candle to either of them, and now...

donna notices. “sam, honey,” she says gently (and, god, donna calling him “honey” just does something to him), “we don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable. you’re our friend first. if this isn’t something you’re interested in, short-term or long term, we’ll drop it and we don’t ever have to speak about this again.”

“no,” he says, maybe a little too quickly. “i would definitely be interested. short-term, or long-term, or whatever you guys want.”

josh and donna share a grin that seems to say we got him.

donna stops stroking his hair. “i think we’re both very glad to hear that.”

sam almost can’t breathe when donna tips his head up and kisses him, and when she pulls away, he just stares at her until josh puts a hand on his cheek

when josh then leans in to kiss him, sam is pretty sure he’s died and gone to heaven.

and when they go to bed that night, donna’s head lays on sam’s chest, her arm stretched out over his body so she can hold josh’s hand, who’s curled up on his side, his face buried in sam’s shoulder.

the collective love in the room could power the entire city of washington, d.c.

needless to say, this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

bonus:

their first call is cj because, even though she’s no longer responsible for presenting their lives to the press, they know that nobody else but her would really know what to do

when they tell her, she’s silent for a second before she says “josh, i didn’t think you were the type.”

(danny passes by and sees the shit-eating grin on her face and she just mouths “later”)

josh, of course, is very offended

“i—cj—what do you mean, not the type?”

“well, sam and donna, maybe. i can see that for them, but you seem too possessive to share.”

sam and donna look at each other and burst out laughing

“cj,” donna says, “just imagine josh but with two partners to worry about.”

they all have a nice, long laugh at that (well, not josh)

“i’m breaking up with both of you. and i’m revoking your friend card, cj.”

“oh, josh,” sam says, kissing his cheek, “you love us too much for that.”

“i was only teasing, mi amor. i’m very happy for the three of you, and i really can’t say i’m surprised,” cj’s slightly staticky voice comes through the phone.

while she does advise them to keep it discreet, she tells them to just own it if it comes out.

when they hang up, the three of them feel lighter. they told someone and it went fine.

they’re going to be okay, they think.

bonus bonus:

they take turns sleeping in the middle of the bed because equality of affection is very important to them

donna absolutely loves to call them “my men” and josh and sam call her “our girl”

they love each other. they really just love each other so much.

[muchadoaboutbucky]

all the time in the world | oneshot

PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x Native American!Reader WORD COUNT: 3,954 WARNINGS: slow burn, eventual smut, fluff, minor injury NOTE: Imagine if Bucky hadn’t been injured in Civil War and went on the run with everyone else. The reader’s face claim is Crystle Lightning. I also used Sebastian’s “Destroyer” look for inspiration as well. Enjoy!

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I do not consent to minors (17-) reading my work.

It’s been six months since Siberia. Six long, rough months of dodging the government and living off the grid. No phones, no computers, no connection to the outside world other than the daily newspapers you manage to pick up. 

Living in close quarters isn’t the easiest. The jet doesn’t have the best sleeping quarters, just five open bunks on the lower level. The other two have become storage, a cluttered mess of papers and empty weapons boxes and ammunition that has yet to be organized. 

It doesn’t help that you and Bucky have become a little more than friends.

He’s become different since you went on the run. He’s quiet, broody, and absolutely merciless when it comes to getting a mission done. To say the sight of the former assassin taking down the bad guys with nothing but a couple weapons and his bare metal hand doesn’t get you all kinds of riled up. 

The five of you have just finished up a weekend in Portugal. A weapons bust had gone almost perfectly to plan, with the small exception of you getting a bullet graze on your thigh from one of the barely-alive arms dealers on your way out the door. You’d hit the ground hard, and before you could say anything or make a move to recover, Bucky scooped you off the ground and took the fire escape all the way up to the roof and into the jet without a second glance back.

Fortunately the medical bay’s been fully restocked, and Nat quickly gets you on the examining table while Sam takes off, the jet’s cloaking technology vanishing instantly into the dark three-am sky.

“Suit off,” Nat directs, reaching into one of the storage cupboards for a prepped cleaning kit. You strip out of your suit, wincing as the fabric grazes your wound. Natasha bends to examine the wound, gently pressing along the edges with a gloved finger.

“No stitches, please,” you mutter.

“Nope, you won’t need those.” Nat grabs an antiseptic wipe. “Just some bandages and you’ll need to take it easy for a couple days.”

You grumble. “Gross.”

“Could be worse.” Nat dabs the antiseptic wipe along the thin red line of your injury, and you wince, trying not to jerk away. “So… you and Barnes, huh?”

You frown, glancing down at the shimmer of her red hair. “What?”

She chuckles. “He carried you outta there like his ass was on fire. You two’ve been dancing around each other for a couple months.”

Your cheeks flush hot. “We just… it’s complicated.”

“How complicated can it be?” She smiles. “Two people like each other, they go out on a couple dates, maybe they fall in love.”

“It’s not like we have a lot in common,” you explain. “It’s just fooling around, right now, at least.”

If ‘fooling around’ counts as the time he pinned you up against the side of the jet and kissed the shit out of you with his thigh between your legs… or the time he’d waited for everyone else to be occupied with organizing the weapons closet before tugging your panties aside and sliding two fingers deep inside—

“You don’t have to bond over all the bad stuff.” She tosses the wipe into the trash and peels the wrapping off a patch of gauze. “Maybe you have small similarities. Maybe you both like chocolate, maybe you used to go to the same park as kids. It’s the little things.”

As slick and smart as she is, Natasha has no idea about the dirty things you and Bucky have done in the dark.

“I’m just not sure it would work.” You peer down when she lays a pair of large Band-Aids over the patch of gauze. “He’s a little more rough around the edges than I am, he’s still adjusting to this whole modern-life thing, I’m not sure saying ‘hey, you wanna be my boyfriend’ in the middle of it would be smart.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Oh please, he knows what he wants, he’s just afraid to ask for it. Men are like that.”

The privacy curtain slides back, and you and Natasha look up so fast you both nearly get whiplash. Bucky’s standing there, eyes wide as he takes in the full sight of you sitting on the table, clothed only in a plain black bra and panties. 

“Oh.” He swallows, and his cheeks flush bright red. “Never mind, I was just—”

Natasha grins. “Barnes, if you have something to say—”

The curtain swishes shut, and the heavy tread of his boots fades away. You giggle, raising a hand to cover your mouth. He’s never seen you this degree of undressed before, much less seen a naked woman in the last several decades. 

“Teach him how to knock,” Natasha jokes, sweeping the used kit into the trash and tugging her gloves off. “I’ll grab you some clothes, we don’t need all the men stroking out from seeing a pair of boobs.”

***

You emerge from the medical room dressed in a pair of pajama shorts and a tee shirt. Steve and Sam are settled comfortably in the pilots’ seats, and Natasha herself has changed into flannel pants and a one of the tee shirts she’s stolen from Sam. 

Bucky’s nowhere to be found.

“We’ll find somewhere to land in a couple hours,”  Steve says, glancing back at you. “How’s your leg, kid?”

“Hurts, but I’ve had worse.” You offer a smile before turning to Nat. “Where’s Bucky?” you ask her silently. 

“Downstairs,” she replies, the corner of her mouth turning up into a little smirk. “Alone.”

You roll your eyes, cheeks burning as you head to the descending ladder for the lower level. Bucky’s sitting on the floor, earphones on, eyes closed. He somehow hears you approach, because he opens his eyes and reaches up to pull the scuffed headphones off and pause the old cassette player clutched in his left hand.

You’re so used to him being big and strong and dominant. Now he just seems… weary. A side you don’t see very often.

“Hi.” You slide down to sit next to him. “It’s late, Nat and I are going to bed, you should wash up and get some rest.”

“I’m not tired,” he replies softly. 

“Are you worried about walkin’ in on me half naked?” you ask, reaching up to run your fingers through the longer hair at the top of his head. Since almost shaving it off, it’s grown back, and he almost looks like he used to back in his time.

His cheeks flush. “You were a little more than half naked.”

“It’s not a problem, I didn’t mind.” You rest your head on his shoulder. “You look exhausted, you should really get some rest.”

“I’m not tired.” Bucky sets the cassette player and headphones on the floor next to him. “Been trying to get some alone time with you for a long time, and tonight when you went down… I just got a lot of ‘what if’s’ goin’ on in my head.”

You hum. “I’m fine. My leg hurts and Nat’s gonna kill me if I don’t take it easy, but—”

“I wanna take you somewhere.” He turns to face you. “I hate dancin’ around like this, and I get that it’s risky for us to be… involved, or whatever we’re trying to be, but…” he swipes his tongue over his lower lip, “I think we deserve one night where we aren’t gonna be sleeping in these stupid bunks. Just you and me.”

You wrap your fingers through his warm metal ones. “We do have that tent in the storage cupboard… we could make a camping night of it?”

He sighs. “I want a real bed. In a real… house, or hotel, or whatever, but I wanna be alone with you. We deserve that, we’ve been playing back and forth for the last six months and I’m tired of it.”

Smiling, you press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “What else do you want?”

He lets out a soft breath before tipping his head back against the wall. “I wanna make love to you, and I can’t do that in a stupid little bunk where three other people can see us.”

You stifle a flustered giggle in his chest. “We can still fool around, Bucky.”

He grunts, dissatisfied. “Can’t you pretend your leg is worse than it is and they can drop us off somewhere?”

“I don’t know, they’ve seen me walking just fine.”

“You could be in shock and not know how bad it is.”

“Bucky.” You slide onto his lap and cup his face. “I’ve been in shock before, several times, and I’m not in shock.”

He smiles lazily, skimming his hands up your sides. “Really? You look a little cold.”

“Because we’re at fifteen-thousand feet,” you kiss him softly, wincing when your bandage pulls, “and Sam’s slacking on fixing the temperature regulator.”

“Maybe I should take you somewhere with a fireplace.” He peers at you through the dim light. “I could do a lot with that.”

“Oh yeah?” You run a finger over his cheek. “Like what?”

He grins wolfishly. “Put some blankets out in front of the fire… get you all warm and toasty before I make love to you.”

You bite your lip, shifting on his lap. “Bucky…”

“Hmm?”

“Hearing you talk about making love to me isn’t making the fact that I really want that right now any better.”

He chuckles. “I can be quick, you know that.”

“I’m not having our first time on the jet floor.” You stand up, pulling on his metal arm. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

He stands obediently, eyes raking up your bare thighs and the bandage on as he rises. “You know, you look really hot with a bandage on your thigh.”

“Oh, so you’re glad I got shot?”

“I didn’t say that.” He wraps his arms around your waist. “I mean I like seein’ you with things on your thighs. Holsters… those thigh-high socks you wore a month ago, that made me…” he shivers and digs his fingers into your hips.

“Freak,” you giggle. “Bucky, if you don’ let me go...”

He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Mmm.” You slip a teasing finger into his belt.

He grins, slowly backing you up until your shoulders press against the steel wall. In a playful attempt to duck away, you try to slip just to his left, and warm metal wraps around your arm, pinning you firmly in place. 

“Hold on,” he mutters, “you think you can just do that and walk away?”

You let out a long, soft moan when he presses his lips to yours, stepping up so close you can feel the firm heat of his body. Your fingers twist in his shirt, and he slots a knee between your thighs, careful to avoid your injured one as flesh fingers twist into your hair. He hums when you give an instinctual push of your hips against the rough fabric of his pants, and you 

“Better rest up, then, honey.”

You giggle when he lands a firm swat on your ass and scamper up the ladder, heaving yourself onto the upper level with Bucky close behind you. The grin on Bucky’s face earns you a quizzical look from Sam, but you roll your eyes and head down to your bunk, making sure that nobody can see before stretching up on your toes and giving Bucky a goodnight kiss. 

***

The jolt of the jet landing just over four hours later wakes you. You sit up, almost banging your head on the top of your bunk, and curse Sam for winning Rock Paper Scissors for the top one. You emerge blearily, shoving your privacy curtain aside with a grimace as a ray of sunlight smacks you in the face.

“Ow,” you mutter as Sam drops down from the bunk above you, “what time is it?”

“It’s late morning,” Steve replies, emerging from the cockpit. “We’re in Austria. Found us a place to lay low for a couple days. We’re gonna have to do a little bit of hiking and wear disguises when we check in, but the jet’s on stealth mode. Town’s about a twenty-minute walk away.”

Town. Thank God.

The four of you stumble around, stuffing things into your bags and checking your nanomasks before stepping off the jet. It’s a brisk morning, and you tug a jacket over your shoulders as you take in your surroundings. 

Steve’s touched down in a large field of flowers. The jet’s invisible to your eye when the hatch closes, and you set off to the East, keeping your heads low as you head into a more-populated area and onto busy streets. There’s a market across from the closest hotel, and you make a note to sneak out and get some of the pretty fruits and breads on display.

When you get up to the counter, Steve shoves a wad of cash from his duffel bag at the attendant and asks for two rooms, which you get with a three-night guarantee.

“Okay,” Sam murmurs once you’re in the elevator heading up to your floor, “who shares with who? I’m not havin’ Barnes hogging all the covers again.”

“Mmm, you won’t.” Natasha slips you a sly look. “Barnes and Y/N together, I’ll share with Steve, so you, Sam, can have all the covers you want.”

You cast a quick glance at Bucky and find his cheeks stained bright pink. “That’s fine,” you cover when he fails to respond, “we’re gonna get some rest anyway.”

Nat smirks when the elevator doors slide open, and you roll your eyes before accepting the key card Steve offers you. “Sure, sure,” she replies, “make sure it’s a good rest.”

You give her a playful glare as she follows Steve and Sam into their room and closes the door, leaving you and Bucky to slip into your room across the hall with burning faces.

It’s definitely not the biggest—or best—room that you’ve ever stayed in, but it’ll do the trick. The bed is king-sized, with several lumpy-looking pillows stacked on a thin white comforter. You set your bag down on the floor and toe off your boots, stretching your arms over your head while Bucky goes to inspect the bathroom. 

“It’s not bad,” he calls out, “just a shower stall, no tub.”

“That’s good enough for me.” You tug a fresh set of clothes out of your duffel and snag your almost-empty toiletries from the front pocket. “You wanna go first, or…”

“Nah, you.” He runs a hand up your back and leans in to press his lips against yours. “I’m gonna try and get some shut-eye. I never sleep well on the jet.”

You hum against his mouth, grateful for the sudden solitude. “I’ll be out in fifteen. Knock if you need anything, ‘kay?”

He smiles and slumps down on the bed, watching you slip into the bathroom and leave the door slightly ajar. 

The water pressure isn’t too bad. It’s been a few days since you’ve been able to properly clean up, and your hair gets washed thoroughly, pits get shaved, well… everything that isn’t permanently done gets shaved, and you emerge from the steam-filled shower dressed in panties and a tee shirt, towel held to the now-exposed wound on your thigh. Bucky’s stretched out on the bed, a pillow tucked under his head, eyes closed. The medical kit’s in his bag, and you tug it free and watch one crystal-blue eye open as you perch on the edge of the bed.

“How’s that?” His eyes rake over the bare skin of your thigh as you pull it away to inspect the slowly-scabbing graze. 

“Healing.” You gently poke at the angry bruise along the side and wince. “I still need to bandage it.”

Bucky sighs, watching you tug out a roll of gauze and tape. “Want some help with that?”

You smile gladly in return. “Please?”

“You got it.” He slides off the bed and reaches for the paper-wrapped supplies. Nimble fingers tear open the packets, and you lean back as he kneels on the carpet, flesh hand gently splayed out against your knee as he gently lowers a folded strip of cause to cover the exposed flesh. Medical tape snaps off between his teeth, and you watch him lay four strips, one on each side until he’s satisfied that your injury is sufficiently protected. 

“Thanks.” You reach over and rub the top of his head. “So walking in on me in just my bra and panties didn’t… that didn’t bother you?”

He chuckles. “No, it didn’t bother me. Just surprised me.”

You giggle. “Really? ‘Cause you looked like a total virgin.”

“Shush.” He kisses your knee and gazes up at you, eyes wide and almost deceivingly innocent. “Not a virgin, honey, just… you look hot in that suit, and seeing you out of it was… a shock. Good shock.”

***

The rest of the day passes slowly, with you and Bucky dozing in and out of naps until Sam knocks on the door, asking if Bucky wants to go to the market outside. You watch him leave, donning his nanomask and swiping a couple bills from the plastic bag he keeps in his duffel before slipping out the door. 

He’s back in an hour, carrying a large paper bag full of what looks like bread and fruit and all kinds of goodies. You eat slowly, sneaking kisses between bites of fresh, juicy watermelon for a mock-dessert. 

Around six, Natasha comes by, inviting you to the other room for a much better dinner of pizza and drinks… which, as it turns out, hasn’t even been delivered yet. You and Bucky spend the first ten minutes enduring innuendo from Natasha, which Steve is quick to defend, although he snorts at one comment about peaches that makes Bucky choke on his bottle of ale.

The pizza finally arrives, three boxes to cater to two supersoldier appetites, and you’re able to unwind, laughing and joking and teasing each other until it’s late and Sam starts to yawn incessantly. You and Bucky make an excuse for being tired as well, and Natasha watches you leave with a glimmer in her eye as the door swings shut.

The moment you and Bucky are safely tucked in the seclusion of your room, he pulls you into his arms and plants a warm, sweet kiss on your lips.

“Baby,” he breathes, “we only got three nights here and I… I wanna take you, tonight…”

You giggle. “Bucky, we’re not in your time anymore. You can tell me what you want.”

He swallows, metal fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt. “I wanna make love with you.”

You roll your eyes and wind your arms around his neck. “Is that all?”

He grumbles. “Baby, you’re making it harder than it needs to be.”

“Sorry.” You stretch up on your toes and kiss him again, hips rubbing deliciously against his. “Only thing I need to be hard is this… and looks like you’re way ‘head of me.”

Bucky groans, breaking away to tug your shirt over your head. “If you keep doing that, you’re not gonna feel it for a while.”

You bite your lip, watching him strip his own shirt and toss it to the ground. Before you can do anything else, he lifts you up, careful to avoid your injured thigh, and lays you out on the bed, reaching for your pajama shorts and tugging them down to leave you in just a plain pair of panties. 

Now he’s nervous, you can see it in his eyes. He’s had you open before, got his fingers wet inside your pussy, and kissed the shit out of you until you could barely breathe, but he’s never had you completely naked and exposed.

“Hey.” You reach for his hand, guiding it to the little blue bow between your hips. “It’s okay, baby.”

He chuckles, easing his fingers beneath the elastic and watching with held breath as he teases them down, letting them fall off the edge of the bed with a soft pat. His palms smooth down the insides of your thighs, spreading you open, and when he trails the pad of his thumb over your clit and you press your hips up to get closer, he lets out a strangled groan and curls over you, completely helpless. 

Your hands push at his sweats, and you giggle when he clumsily kicks them down over his feet, leaving himself completely bare for you as well. When your fingers drift to wrap around his thick, heavy shaft, he stops, gritting his teeth against the side of your neck.

“Baby…” he clears his throat, raising his head to look at you. “We’re not movin’ too fast, right?”

“Don’t get soft on me,” you reply, “we’re good, Bucky, I’m happy, I wanna feel you…”

He nods, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “Good, it’s just… it’s been a long time and—”

“Shhh.” You rub your hands over his hips. “I don’t care, I just want you.”

Bucky’s eyes darken, and he reaches down to grab himself, experimentally running the swollen tip of his cock through yout pussy until he finds your opening, and you grab on tight, a cry of pleasure dying in your throat as he pumps his hips forward and sinks in. 

“Ahh, fuck—” he grunts quietly against your lips when your nails dig into his ass, “baby…”

You can’t even find the words to reply. He’s so deep, thick and hot and pulsing inside where your body grips him tight. All you can do is give a little tug, trying to urge him on, and he gives you what you want without question. 

All sense of awkwardness or anxiety melts away as he props himself up on both arms, watching your body roll and move under his as he searches a rhythm, inexperience getting the better of him when his hips stutter and slide. He finds it, a steady, rough beat back and forth that makes your clit rub against the skin above his cock and high-pitched sighs and whimpers to rattle in your throat.

“C’mere,” he pants, hooking his flesh arm under your shoulders to keep you close, and you brace yourself as his thrusts grow hard enough for your bodies to slap together. It’s been so long since you’ve been able to feel this good that when his lips find one nipple and latch on, your body decides to follow its own path. 

All it takes for you to cum is a few quick rolls of your clit under your fingers, and Bucky lets out a choked gasp when he feels the rapid contractions, burying his face in the crook of your neck and matching your moans with his own, panting harder and louder as he stutters, pushes in as far and hard as he can, and cums with a growl that resonates deep in your soul as you wrap your legs tight around his waist.

You come back to reality slowly, sweaty bodies sticking as he drops down over you, pressing a lazy kiss to your lips. 

“That was fast,” he murmurs, “sorry, baby, I couldn’t—”

“It’s okay.” You run your fingers through his hair. “It’s been a long time for me too, it was… that was good.”

“Good.” He chuckles and pulls away, watching the first dribble of white slide from your core. “We got three more days to make it longer, huh?”

“Yeah.” You reach for his hand, fingers intertwining with his. “Right now, we have all the time in the world.”

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[padawansuggest]

AU where Obi-Wan and Luke get to Vader long before he was expecting to destroy Alderaan, which is basically an incredible thing that I think would have made it hard for them to bring him back from, and instead of Obi-Wan antagonizing him and getting ghosted, they capture Vader and take him with them, because Obi-Wan has had a theory goin for the last 20 years on an idea to try. So, with the force, you can create illusions of things. I like the idea of Obi-Wan forcing Vader to not only confront Luke and Leia (he draggin that tin can back to Bail and is gonna make him pay for their Uber), by telling him that’s his kids, but also forcing him to confront the fact that Obi-Wan will never love anyone as much as he loves the child he raised. I truly believe that Obi-Wan spent his whole life past his knighting caring about no one more than Anakin, and being a sith never stopped that. So, I kinda want Obi-Wan to show him a force vision of Obi and Ani when Obi-Wan first took him in as a kiddo, just a memory of them together. A playful one where ADHD Ani wanted to get up and play, but grief-recovering Obi is tired and depressed but still loves this kid, and just yanks him onto the couch with him for a nap and some decent cuddles together while Ani complains and talks about everything in the universe he can think of till he literally talks himself to sleep and Obi just gently lays his head on that little chest to listen to Ani’s heartbeat before giving him forehead kisses and passing out too.

Mainly. I just want Vader to confront something from his childhood, something completely sugar sweet that makes everyone else go ‘wtf Vader had a loving caregiver who would cuddle him???’ And absolutely breaks Vader to the point where Ani shines through and he just says that he’s so tired of everything why can’t they go back to that??

Anyways. I just had the sudden idea of Ani using force visions of him and Obi when they were much younger as a focus point for sanity to the point where he becomes an actual asset for the rebellion and even Bail and Mon Mothma are excited to have him back and they get him out of that horrible suit and fix him up as well as they can to convince the galaxy that General Skywalker is back after such a long captivity, and that drags Rex and Ahsoka (and probably Cody too) off to find them with great caution and then excitement when they can feel Ani’s broken force signiture again and know it’s him but he’s super fragile but It’s Him.

Anyways. What I really want after that. Is Ani to say he convinced Vader to save one of the creche kids and they’re still out there, but he keeps having to send hunters out for him cause the emperor keeps using him for testing and he’s got a guy he thinks can finally nab the kid for good and it’s Grogu and Din is the one they send for him and it take them like a year to get back to them cause Din ends up Being Hunted and he refuses to give the kid up (like a lot of other bounty hunters have done when they eventually decide the kid isn’t worth it) and then Din gets there and a buuuuunch of Mandos follow behind all annoyed that their covert got found in the process and now that the rebellions problem and it’s a full ass reunion at this point.

They pick up Yoda from the swamp and get both Luke and Leia some intense Jedi training (THEY BOTH DESERVE TO BE BADASS JEDI FIGHT ME) and Grogu becomes the communal baby and Obi goes back to annoying the fuck outta Ani by calling him his twin brother, which makes BOTH of them squeak all angrily at him, and Ahsoka and Rex are sus af about Ani being back but accept that he’s using force visions from his still thriving connection to Obi to stay sane and tbh he’s mainly just planning to survive to the end of the war (tbh Obi and Ani and Yoda are only gonna survive to the end of the war, that’s really all they got in them at this point and Ani is getting more fragile from holding back the crazy at this point) and Bail survives and Obi flirts with him constantly (which Bail reciprocates much to the twins eye rolling annoyance cause ewwwwww old men flirting) and Ani is all ‘lol have you two ever acted on that constant flirting?’ And they just both go super red and look away cause ya but it was a very long time ago shut up Skywalker and it’s cute.

If Cody shows up (yes) then he immediately assigns himself as the Bail and Obi bodyguard cause these old men stupid and Bail complains but he did some crazy shit in the clone wars too okay he’s just as dumbass as the Jedi.

Also Boba and Fennec eventually show up saying they had a shitty runin with Jabba and Fortuna which lead to both of them getting dead a lil bit and having a change of heart on this whole ‘bad guy’ thing which lead to them murdering the fuck outta both of them and now they control Tatooine and whatcha gonna do about it and also can we join your ‘kill the emperor’ club we bored af so they come along for the fun too.

Who else am I missing? Caleb and Ezra? They they came with Ahsoka and Rex. Cal? Ya they found him sittin on a rock bein all Jedi and shit and were like ‘damn, that’s a baby. Anyone gonna adopt that?’ And like ten Mandos fought for the honor of being his new parent. Kam? They find him when they have their showdown with Palpy and Luke is all ‘I’m gonna train him’ and everyone lived happily every after. Except Obi and Ani and Yoda who become young force ghosts and annoy everyone forever now. Thanks.

[thicctails]

Summer of Whump Day 7 [Storms/Sunburns]

Okay so we’re just gonna be a day behind alright everyone? Anyways have a longer fic to compensate.

Ω

 Omega smiled as she watched Pillow walk around her room with her doll perched on his back. The salamander had, for the past three weeks, stayed by her side, keeping her company while she recovered. His presence was a welcome one, seeing how tense the ship had become. Something had offset the usual harmony of their group, but no one would tell Omega what. Whenever she asked someone, they’d just give her a smile that she could tell was fake and told her “not to worry about it”.

 From her little tucked away corner, she could observe the ship’s other occupants. Echo and Tech were doing what they had been doing ever since they had gotten on the ship, which was just barely tolerating each other’s existence. The two squadmates stayed as far away as possible from each other, which made it difficult to do group activities. Before the ‘something’ had happened, she’d used to help them make (mostly) edible meals every third night. She’d enjoyed learning about the chemistry of cooking and how different flavors went together. It had been her bonding time with them, and she missed it.

 Hunter was cleaning his blaster and Wrecker was, to her concern, sleeping again. He’d been doing that a lot recently, and it bothered her to think that he was in pain for most of the day. She herself wasn’t feeling too great, nearly dying from a landslide did that to you, but she couldn’t imagine feeling like this all the time. How he managed to still smile at her, she’d never know. She wished that she could help him somehow.

 A light bulb went off over her head, and she reached towards a small pile of datapads that she was always trying to add to. There was a datapad about the local wildlife and plants on the planet that they were on in the pile somewhere. Tech had given it to her when they had been staying in the medical centre, the two of them bored out of their minds. Shuffling through the pile, she easily plucked out the one she wanted. Patting the space beside her, she began to scroll through the information on Scarif’s plant life. Pillow waddled over to her side, his head leaning on her knee. He’d grown in size a bit, but not enough to where it was really noticeable. She only noticed it because Pillow spent most of his time with her.

 “There! That’s what we need, Pillow.” She said, showing her companion the image she was looking at. It was a bright yellow flower with purple-tipped petals. The description said that it was often used to treat migraines.

 “Come on Pillow, let’s go see if we can find some of these flowers. It’ll help Wrecker feel better, and, between you and me?” She leaned down and whispered to the amphibian. “I’m getting really tired of being in the same ship as everyone else right now.”

 Pillow huffed in agreement and crawled onto her shoulders, draping himself around her neck like an exotic feather boa. Making no effort to conceal her leaving but also not drawing attention to herself, Omega made her way to the ship’s exit. Her leg wasn’t exactly pleased with the movement, but she put aside her discomfort. Checking the datapad for the general location of the flowers, she and Pillow set off into the tropical forest.

  Meanwhile, inside the Havoc Marauder…

  Tech rubbed at his eyes, tired of reading through an endless slog of rumors and unfounded reports of Jedi sightings. His efforts had not gone completely unrewarded, as multiple sources had cautiously whispered about a Jedi having been glimpsed on a distant moon. Selrahc Eluos, that is what they said her name was. It wasn’t much, but they would be unlikely to find much else.

 “Hunter,” He called, getting the brooding clone’s attention, “I may have found something.”

 Hunter didn’t look too pleased with Tech’s announcement but came over anyways.

 “There have been reports of a Jedi hiding out on a remote moon called Una Vere. Of course, seeing as how these reports exist, she wont be there long.” He explained, turning in his seat to look at Hunter.

 “Hmm. How long will it take us to get there?” He half muttered the question.

 “About a day at lightspeed. We’ll need to leave right away.” Tech stood and began to input the coordinates.

 “Are you at least going to tell her?”

 Echo’s voice caused the two clones to pause. Their squadmate was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed in displeasure.

 “We don’t even know if the Jedi will still be there when we arrive, and I don’t want to upset her before I absolutely have to.” Hunter replied.

 “You coward. You’re not even going to give her the chance to voice her opinion on this?” Echo’s voice was venomous, and Hunter knew that he had tread carefully here, lest another fight break out.

 “Echo, this is for her own good. She’ll be happier with someone who can help her with her Force abilities.” He said, his voice gentle.

 “The abilities that we don’t even know she has?” Echo countered.

 “Oh, open your eyes Echo! It’s obvious she’s not a normal clone.” Tech snapped.

 “We’re not normal clones!” Echo shouted back.

 “You know what I mean! She doesn’t belong with us!”

 “Yeah? Well I’m starting to think that I don’t belong with you either!”

 “Maybe you don’t!”

 “ENOUGH!” Hunter’s yell was thunderous. “I am sick and tired of you two arguing!”

 “Well you know what? I think I’m sick and tired of you. Both of you. Give me a call when you’ve figured out how to stop being such a moronic, child-abandoning nerf herders!” Echo threw his arms up into the air and stormed out of the ship, growling under his breath.

 A soft crunch made him pause and look down. There were… picked flowers on the ground? He recognized them; they grew on vines nearby and could be used to help treat headaches and migraines. How had they gotten here?

 Wait…

 He scanned around the ground, terror welling up in him when he spotted small footprints around the ship’s exit. He ran back into the ship, ignoring Hunter and Tech’s confused yells. He made his way up to Omega’s room, hoping that, for once, things would go right for them.

 The small space was empty, no sign of Omega or Pillow being there at all.

 “Kriff!” He yelled, sprinting as best he can on his still healing leg back the way he had came. Before he can make it, however, Hunter catches his prosthetic arm.

 “What’s wrong?” He might be angry, but his brotherly instincts stamp down the smoldering emotion for the time being.

 “Omega’s not here. I think she heard us arguing.” He says as he pulls away. His anger hasn’t been calmed, and it mixes easily into his worry.

 Hunter goes pale. “Shit.” He curses, stepping back as Echo disappears from sight.

 “Mnh, wha’s goin’ on?”

 Wrecker rubs his eyes as he half sits up in his bunk. He looks to Hunter for answers.

 “We were having an argument about, well, you know what, and it seems like Omega came around when we were exploding at each other, and now she’s gone.” Hunter explained as he started to get his gear on.

 “Oh no!” Hunter’s words woke Wrecker right up, and the burly man joined Hunter in getting into his armor.

 “What’s going on? Why are you getting your armor on?” Tech appeared in the doorway, his cheeks still flush from the argument.

 “Omega heard us arguing and ran off. Echo’s going after her, but I don’t want him re-injuring his leg. He’s mad, and that means he wont be thinking straight.” Hunter said, putting his helmet on.

 “Oh Maker.” Tech said, covering his mouth with a hand. In an instant, his hateful words hit him in the face like a blaster bolt. He hadn’t meant anything that he’d said, he’d just wanted to hurt Echo, which made him feel like the lowliest scum.

 Grabbing his own armor, he made a mental promise to apologize to Echo. Actually, he’d need to apologize to Omega too, considering the fact that what he had said, out of context, could be and likely had been taken entirely the wrong way. Thinking about the argument made his chest hurt and his stomach twist, but he didn’t try and find some way to resolve himself of guilt. The feelings were everything he deserved.

   Pillow stared sadly as Warm One cried, her face streaming with tears as she ran. He didn’t blame her for crying, the words she had heard would bring any fledgling to tears. The other members of her pack had been steadily growing more and more tense and angry, especially Shiny Eyes and Grey Arm. Ever since Warm One and Shiny Eyes had recovered from their accident, the air had become sour with displeasure, sadness, anger, and building resentment. It was not a good environment for someone like Warm One, and he had wanted nothing more than to take her out of their flying metal den. Today, he’d gotten his wish, but at a terrible price.

 The adult humans had said terrible things! They were going to leave Warm One all alone! They were supposed to protect her, not abandon her! She had seen them as family, and until now, he’d thought they felt the same. Clearly, he’d been wrong. Well, perhaps not about all of them. Grey Arm had been very loud when he had been yelling at Half Skull and Shiny Eyes; he had wanted Warm One to stay. He wasn’t sure about Strong One, the human’s thoughts and feelings were often muddled by pain, but he hadn’t argued like Grey Arm had, so he certainly wasn’t in Pillow’s good graces.

 Pillow felt a pressure begin to build up inside his chest. A storm was coming. Normally, he’d be overjoyed at the prospect of rain; it had been so long since he’d experienced a good rainstorm, but Warm One had nothing to protect her from the rain and wind, which meant that they had a problem.

 He felt a flash of frustration run through his small body. Before his imprisonment on that barren, icy wasteland, he had possessed a beautiful, strong pair of wings. If he had them now, he could shield Warm One from the storm. Force, he could carry her above it, show her the world the way he had once seen it. He resented his captors for chaining him up and leaving him on that damnable planet to die, but he also understood why they did. He had not been a kind creature, and the names people had given him were accurate. The Great Sky Scourge, The White Beast, Death’s Shadow. All fitting. All horrible.

 But Warm One had never seen him as any of those things. She had given him a new name, Pillow, the human word for a squishy, soft, white thing that they slept on. He felt honored to be given such a name, because to him, it was a chance to start over. He’d been weakened by the lack of food, reduced to his larval state once again, but now that he had her, he’d have the chance to regain his former glory and use it to do good. They’d do it together. If her pack was too stupid to see her Light, he’d take care of her, just as she had taken care of him.

 All he had to do was wait until it was time to metamorphosize. And, of course, keep both her and himself safe from this storm.

 Suddenly, he was no longer around her neck. He landed in the mud, sliding a few feet away. Once he’d blinked away the mud, he realized that Warm One had tripped! He called out to her, running as fast as he could back to her as raindrops began to fall around them. He nudged her, helping her up. He missed the once incredible strength he used to have.

 Warm One picked him up as she stood, her face turning red where she had hit the ground. Her eyes were red, and tears still dripped down her face. He crooned sadly, trying to send comforting feelings over their bond. She had created the bond without meaning too on the day they met, and while he didn’t like being able to feel her pain, it was useful in moments like these.

 “Oh Pillow, wh-why don’t they want me? What did I-I do wrong?” She cried, hugging him to her chest. “I-I thought- I loved-” She sobbed even harder, not being able to finish her sentence.

 “No!” He cried, nuzzling her. “It’s not you! They are being stupid! The most stupid!”

 She didn’t understand him, of course, but she felt his feelings, and that was enough to get him a brief, watery smile. She sniffed and looked around, unsure of where to go. She considered following the path, but ultimately decided to go off into the tropical brush. Pillow wound himself around her neck again, keeping an eye out for any danger. The rain was growing stronger, and they’d need shelter soon.

  After about 20 minutes of running and stumbling, Warm One spotted a cave on the face of a cliff. She managed to get them up there, collapsing once they were inside. Pillow shook off the water that clung to his skin before returning to Warm One. She was wet and kind of cold, but not like she had been when they had still been on his planetary prison. If he kept her warm, she’d be okay.

 She was leaning against the wall, curling up into a small ball. He wiggled his way into her lap and buried into her stomach, purring softly. He remembered his mother purring to settle him and his clutchmates, so he figured it was worth a shot.

 She laughed quietly, and he felt amusement cross the bond. He smiles at that, settling down to sleep.

     Omega slowly opened her eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. She went to stretch, but found herself spinning. With a yelp, she waved her arms about, trying to right herself. Her surroundings had changed completely. What had previously been a damp cave was now a void of neutral blues and purples. Occasionally, she would see a flicker of light appear.

 “You’re here!”

 A voice suddenly rang out from all around her, sounding like every voice ever spoken and at the same time, only one person. Omega shrunk back in fear, unable to tell where the voice was coming from.

 “Oh, don’t be frightened! I’m just so excited to finally be able to talk to one of my children!” The voice said, almost sounding sheepish.

 “Who- who are you? Where are you?” Omega squeaked.

 “I am known as the Force, little star. I am everywhere.” The voice explained.

 “You’re… what?” Omega held her head, the information making her brain hurt.

 “I know its a lot, and I wouldn’t usually be this direct, but I haven’t gotten the chance to truly talk to one of my children in so long! Even my brightest star could only feel my presence, and he has become so dim lately…” The Force sounded… sad.

 “Your brightest star?” Omega asked, crossing her legs.

 “Yes. I created him from stardust, love, and the wildness of nature itself. He was wonderful, and he would have saved them all, but he was taught to suppress his feelings and push down his troubles. He loved so strongly, at that made it hard for him to let go. In the end, a poison in human form snuffed out his Light, throwing him into the Dark.” The formless presence became somber, and Omega could feel its sadness.

 “But you,” It said suddenly, the sadness being replaced with cautious hope, “I can still save you. I did not create you, that wonderful honor was taken from me, but I can see your Light, little star. It is new and bright and shining, just as his was long ago. What’s better, I can truly, wholly speak to you, even if it’s just in dreamstate.”

 “I don’t understand. I’m not a Jedi, so why are you interested in me?” Omega asked.

 “Jedi is a recent concept, at least to me. Sith is the same. They are often people who have gone too far into the Light or the Dark, and have become blind to the Balance. Any living thing can have a strong connection with me. It just so happens that you were created with that exact purpose.” The Force explained.

 “What does that mean? What can I do?” Omega questioned, not sure how to process this.

 “That depends on you, little star. Many of my children use their abilities to help people, heal them, or create bonds that will last a lifetime and beyond. However, you can also use it to harm others, to defend yourself and your loved ones, or simply hurt them because you want to. That path is a slippery slope, however, and I must ask that you be careful with how you use your anger.” The Force’s voice was soft, but held a note of warning.

 “I will be, I promise.” Omega said, not wanting to do something that could really hurt someone.

 “Don’t fear your anger, my wondrous child. Sometimes, anger is necessary. Control is the key.” The Force explained, and Omega nodded.

 “Okay, okay I think I understand a bit now.” She said, rubbing the back of her neck. “Um, if I’ve always been able to communicate with you, why did you only just start talking to me now?”

 “The stress of your life recently has been keeping you closed off from me. Today, your mental walls broke.”

 “Oh.” Omega felt her heart sink at the thought of what had happened earlier. She’d just come back from collecting the flowers, which had actually been quite close by, only to hear shouting coming from within the ship. She’d heard Tech  angrily say that she didn’t belong with them, but not much else beyond that, as she had turned and ran almost immediately.

 “You believe that they hate you.” It wasn’t a question, but Omega nodded anyways.

 “I can understand why, but you have it all wrong, little star. They love you. They love you so much that I don’t even believe my most Darkness-blinded children could tear you away from them.”

 Omega blinked away tears that had begun to form, her confusion nearly palpable.

 “They have figured out that you have a connection to me. Some of them believe that you would be better off under the care of a Jedi. They worry that they will not be good enough for you.” Omega feels a ripple of annoyance go through her, although it is not her own. “Sometimes my children can be a bit ignorant, and because they do not share a connection like we do, I cannot tell them this. The Jedi ruined my brightest star, my Anakin. They seek peace and order, but life is not meant to be peaceful or controlled. Life is chaos, wild and free. That is what many of my children fail to understand. To walk the path of the Jedi is to practically shun life itself, and the Sith are even worse. They actively destroy life, disrupting the balance. I want you as far away from that mess as possible.”

 “So, they do want me? I didn’t do anything wrong?” Omega questioned.

 “No, starlight. You’ve made their lives better. I can feel their worry for you right now, they are terrified to lose you.” The Force then began to expand, and suddenly Omega was struck with wave after wave of worry and grief. She bared her teeth in sympathy.

 “I know that they care for you, but they must learn that they are your chosen family. Not the Jedi, not another family, them. Until they fall asleep, let them worry. Let them experience what life will be like if they break the still fragile bond that you all share. I will find a way to make a connection with them.”

 Omega wasn’t sure she liked that plan. “I don’t want them to suffer, and I don’t want to be apart from them! Isn’t there something else we could do?”

 The Force seemed to consider her request. “Perhaps, but you will have to find a way to convince them that this is my will.”

 Omega put a hand on her chin, thinking. “Can you control the weather?”

 “I have some sway over certain aspects.”

 “Okay, I’ve got an idea…”

     “OMEGA!”

 Echo’s throat felt raw, the muscles sore from him screaming to be heard over the roaring storm winds. He ignored the pain. He had to find her.

 “OMEGA, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

 “Echo?”

 Echo fixed his expression into a glare as he turned. The other members of the Bad Batch emerged from the storm-darkened jungle, their armor slick with rain.

 “What are you lot doing out here?” He snapped.

 “Looking for you and Omega. Echo, you’re hurt. Go back to the ship.” It was Hunter who spoke first. Echo, still hurt from earlier, looked disdainfully at the other man.

 “No. I’m finding Omega, and I’m not going anywhere until I know she’s safe. Now get out of here before you scare her off again.” He said coldly, wincing as he put weight on his injured leg.

 “Echo, please. You can’t stay out here, you’ll get sick.” Tech said, stepping forward.

 “Like you care! You made your feelings perfectly clear back there.” Echo turned away from the group, his eyes becoming a bit wet as his hurt feelings threatened to spill out. “We’re not batchmates. You don’t have to pretend to like me. Once I find Omega, you’ll never have to see me again.”

 “Echo, no!” Tech’s voice hitched in panic. “You’re my brother, batchmate or not, I still love you! I’m so sorry for the things I said earlier. I was angry and I knew they would hurt and I said them anyways because I was being an inconsiderate jackass. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but please don’t make me watch another one of my brothers die. We’ve lost so many already, and we’re going to loose so many more, but I don’t think I could handle it if you were one of them.”

 Tears pooled in Tech’s eyes underneath his helmet, and his heart strained to cope with the stress his wild emotions were causing. Echo was still for a minute, then slowly turned around, his eyes wide, but free of anger.

 “Y’mean it?” His voice was quiet and small, and it reminded Tech so much of the nights they’d spent comforting Hunter and Crosshair when they were much younger. Their enhanced traits made the darkness of the room scary sometimes, and despite the fact that he was the youngest of his batch, he’d been comforting them right alongside Wrecker.

 Tech nodded, and in the moment he had been temporarily blinded by a flash of lightning, Echo had crossed the distance and pulled Tech into a hug. Tech froze up for a split second, before wrapping his arms around Echo. Hunter and Wrecker were there in an instant, joining in on the moment of affection.

 “’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you an’ Hunter.” Echo mumbled.

 “No, we were being stupid and sneaky about things. I already knew how miserable that made her, and yet I wanted to send her away anyways. We all want what’s best for Omega, but leaving her with someone else isn’t an idea I should have entertained.” Tech replied.

 “Thank the Maker! I thought I was actually going to have to do go with its plan.”

 The Bad Batch members separated and turned towards the forest beside them. Omega stepped out of the brush, an agitated Pillow sitting on her rain-soaked head. The amphibian seemed to be displeased by their very existence. She smiled weakly.

 “Omega!” The group shouted happily. The young girl rushed into Echo’s waiting arms, pressing her head into his chest. She shivered as powerful emotions welled up inside her, her still red eyes becoming wet again.

 “Oh adiik, vi're olar. Vi're olar.” Echo’s voice was full of relief and warmth and comfort,  and even if Omega couldn’t really understand what his words meant, she felt their soothing nature.

 “Omega, I’m so, so sorry for what I said earlier. We never wanted to leave you, we just-” Omega managed to get a hand free and waved Tech off.

 “You wanted to take me to a Jedi so that I could learn to use the Force, I know.” She said, smiling at him. “I know you worry about me, but please don’t ever think that I’ll be better of anywhere besides with all of you. I love you guys.”

 Tech blinked, stunned. The other clones shared his confusion and his surprise.

 “W-we love you too, and we’re sorry we didn’t tell you that before, but how did you know about the Jedi?” Hunter asked, kneeling down to be eye level with Omega. He resisted the urge to pull her into a protective hug when he saw her shiver.

 “I’ll show you! Here, hold Pillow. Careful, though. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t forgiven you yet.” Omega said, handing the amphibian over. Pillow growled at Hunter, baring his teeth.

 “Okay, watch this.” She said, cupping her hands around her mouth. “HEY FORCE! STRIKE TWO TREES WITH LIGHTNING IF WE JUST HAD A DREAM CONVERSATION!”

 In an instant, two trees on either side of Omega were set ablaze by twin bolts of lightning. Hunter grabbed Omega on instinct and pulled her away from the burning plants, the rest of his brothers backing up rapidly.

 “Woah!” Wrecker shouted, his hands flying up into the air.

 Echo stared awestruck at the trees, then at a grinning Omega.

 “What the hell was that?” He asked.

 “The Force! Turns out I can talk to it.” She explained.

 “You spoke with… the Force?” Hunter said slowly. “Like, the Force that the Jedi use?”

 “Yep! It was really happy to have someone to talk to.” Omega chirped.

 “Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. That’s normal. That’s completely normal and totally not something that makes me really wish general Kenobi was here.” Echo said, pressing his hands together. “The Force can talk to you, and you can talk to it. Cool. Cool.”

 “It wanted me to stay hidden for a bit because I think it’s mad at the Jedi for something and it wanted to talk to you guys when you fell asleep, but I thought that was really mean, so I asked if we could do something else to convince you not to bring me to a Jedi. But you didn’t even need to be convinced!” Omega added, shivering again. This time, Hunter did bring her against his chest as he stood, Pillow making his way onto Omega’s neck.

 “I’m glad we worked things out. I don’t like the idea of leaving you out here until we fell asleep.” Wrecker said, his face becoming illuminated by another flash of lightning.

 “Yeah, I think I would’a had some choice words for the Force if you’d gone through with that plan.” Echo agreed, rubbing his arms.

“We can talk about the Force being an less than agreeable later. Right now we have two very wet and very cold-looking squadmates who are going to catch their deaths out here.” Tech fretted, ushering the group back towards the ship. The clones laughed and began walking back through the storm, their hearts much lighter and their hope as high as ever.

         Somewhere, on a distant planet, an inhibitor chip reactivates.

[s-creations]

Return the Flames - Chapter 6

All at Dead Bird Studios knew of Amos' (The  Conductor's) ability. How the owl could suddenly erupt into flames if  angered enough. When the studio first opened, Dominic (DJ Grooves) was  told that Amos had his ability under control. Nothing to worry about. No  possible loss of anything from an open flame.

A few years later however, and that control seems to have lessened to a dangerous degree.

It should have just been a simple, week long drive to fix the problem. It really should have been.

Dominic should have asked a lot more questions and should have been prepared for a twist ending.

_________________

Fandom: A Hat in Time   Rating: General Audience   Relationships/Pairings: The ConductorXDJ Grooves   Warnings: Eventual depictions of violence, slow burn relationship, named characters, attempt of an accent, being hunted down, a race against time (sort of).

Another dinner, this one with a more pastel color scheme. For some reason. Dominic and Amos claimed a booth tucked away in the back, away from everyone, in hopes they could talk without being overheard. 

Amos was absolutely exhausted. Wanting nothing more than to lay his head down and pass out. It was a bit ironic that for being dangerously hot for so long, he was now freezing. And it was painful. Like pins and needles sticking him in different areas. Probably feeling like this while his body attempted to recover from their crash. He really wished the flame would return. That he could just curl into the closest corner and escape this nightmare for just a little while. 

“Amos...we need a plan.”

Except Dominic kept pulling him back to the problem at hand. Which was needed. Amos just didn’t want to. “We need ta figure out how those peck necks knew about…”

The penguin sighed softly. “I think all we need to worry about for that is knowing that they know. And they’re hunting us down now because of this. Do you think they knew where we’re going?”

“If they knew about the Phoenix flame, I wouldn’t put it past them. They found us really fast after that first dinner.”

“So, our original, direct path is no longer an option. We’ll probably have to make a new, longer path to get to the mountains. Anything to keep them away from us. We’ll just need to make sure you’re alright to stay away for that much longer. Ah, there’s also the issue of provisions and transportations. Thank goodness our wallets survived with us. I would say bus for traveling. But that would take way too long and we’d be trapped if they find us again. So, a rental car would be our best bet. We’ll also need to contact the studio. Let them know we’re going to be gone for a lot longer than originally expected…”

Amos just stared as Dominic kept pulling up the major points they had to worry about. As the list kept growing, the owl felt his resolve break down further. As if he was suddenly realizing how much danger they were in. At the moment they weren’t being chased, they were patched up and food was on the way. Now, with the adrenaline not pumping as much as it was before, Amos’ mind was free to panic over their current situation. 

Someone was hunting him down. Because of what he was. And he put Dominic directly in the line of danger because of this. All because of him. He alerted the authorities because he wasn’t able to control himself. Because he was a danger to everyone he gets near. 

“Amos?”

The owl jumped, attention going from Dominic’s worried face down to his clenched hands lying on the table. “What.”

“You’re shaking.”

Was he?

“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong- are ya really gonna ask me that after our plunge off the side of a cliff?”

“I don’t think we were up that high.”

“We almost died Dominic! Because I’ve been marked as enemy-number-one of some peck necks. With you as the unwilling accomplice.” 

“Unwilling?”

“Ya didn’t know it would lead ta this when you agreed ta take me. Ya shouldn’t be involved.”

“You didn’t know this would happen either. I became involved when I plowed those crows over with my car. We’re in this together.”

“But ya shouldn’t be! I should have found a way around this that didn’t involve anyone else. This is my problem. I should be fixin’ this on my own.” 

Just with everything else in his life. It was how he’s always operated. He learned how to fight, dealt with his ex leaving, his mother passing away, maintained his train, paid for his film equipment, raised Amelia, put her through college, started saving up for the grandchildren to get them through college as well. 

Everything. Everything he did alone. 

So why did he suddenly feel as if he needed help with this? He should have been able to figure out a solution on his own. 

Amos stilled when Dominic reached over and gently grabbed the owl’s balled up hands. So stunned, he allowed the penguin’s hands to properly slip into his. 

“I’m happy I’m here to help you.”

“How...can ya possibly say that?”

“Because I would be tearing my hair out with worry if I wasn’t with you. Over what could have been happening to you.”

“People are tryin’ ta kill us.”

“Then I’m even further relieved to be here and helping.”

Amos wasn’t sure what to say to that. Attention returning to their clasped hands, the owl felt his heart starting to pick up its pace. The familiar warmth returning to become a comforting presence. Dominic didn’t seem to be letting go soon, did Amos want him to? He realized he didn’t. Dominic’s feathers were smooth to the touch, like silk. And seemed to be a cooler temperature than Amos’ unnatural heat. 

“Um, sirs? Your meals?”

Amos quickly pulled away as the server made their presence known. His feather fluffed up in embarrassment while Dominic gave an easy smile. “Thank you, Darling.”

“O-Oh, of course. No problem.” The server was now flustered. Giving their own smile back as they placed the plates down, departing shortly after.

“Should we make our new plan.” Amos grumbled as they were left alone again. 

“Right, well, transportation first. We need to rent a car.”

“You mentioned something about a bus?”

“Yes, but I don’t think that would be best. We need to control our speed and our direction at will. A bus leaves too many variables that we can’t control. Which worries me. So, I think the car is, again, our best option.”

“Alright… You also made mention of changin’ our route?”

“To try and throw them off. It took them two days to find us. And that was when they had a guess as to how far we were into our journey. That tells me they’re aware of where we’re going. If we change our path, hopefully we can throw them off and sneak by them when we finally reach the mountains.”

“If we can sneak in.”

“We’ll figure it out. If we’re moving our route, we need to inform everyone that we’re going to be gone longer than expected.”

“We also need provisions. We kind of...lost all our stuff.” 

“We have enough paper money to pay for what we need at the moment. Lucky us.” Dominic laughed softly. 

“Yeah...lucky…”

“Is everything alright gentlemen?” The server returned, their attention on the untouched plates. Amos didn’t verbally respond, instead picking up his fork and digging in. 

“Sorry, we’ve just been so engrossed in our conversation. Would you actually be able to help us out with something Darling?”

“Oh, sure!” Amos rolled his eyes at how eager the server sounded. 

“We’re in need of a rental car and a possible clothing store.”

“There are more, larger stores and a rental place further into town. You should be able to get what you need there.”

“Thank you, you’ve been extremely helpful.” 

Amos grumbled as he put his full focus on the food in front of him. Attempting to block out the sickening ‘flirting’ before him. It made his stomach roll uncomfortably. 

He couldn’t tell if it was because he hated seeing such a blatant display in public. Of it he was upset because Dominic wasn’t looking at him anymore. 

____________________________

“How much longer are you going to be gone?”

Amos really didn’t like how uneasy Amelia sounded. “Just a few extra days, nothin’ more.”

“Are you sure that’s a smart idea? Do you...will you have enough time?”

“I’ll be fine, don’t you worry. This was Dominic’s idea actually. Says I need ta ‘relax’ or somethin’ crazy like that.”

“Well, if it’s coming from Grooves, it sounds reasonable.”

“Watch yerself young lady.”

Amelia laughed softly. “Please just take it easy dad.”

“I will. I am. How’s it goin’ on your end?”

“Oh, good…”

“...Did...Did ya have another episode?”

“Yeah. But it wasn’t that bad. I’m fine, really. Just tired.”

Amos gripped the phone receiver a little harder. “Are ya goin’ ta see Dr. Fula?”

“Dad-”

“If ya had an episode, she needs ta be aware.”

“And she was, we called her.”

“Does she want ta see ya?”

“No, in fact, she said I was improving!”

“How? Yer still havin’ them!”

“But this was not as serve as my previous ones. And I recovered faster, and on my own.”

“But ya still had one.”

“Dad, you need to unclench your jaw and release whatever's in your other hand.”

With a huff with some smoke unfurling from his mouth, Amos pulled his hand away from the side of the phone booth. Wincing from the newly created dent in the metal. “Amelia…”

“No, listen to me. I am fine. I’m home, safe and happy with the kids. Grace is staying with me. And a legion of medical professionals are on speed dial. Now I need you to just focus on getting yourself better, okay?”

“...Okay.”

“I know you’ll hate me for saying this, but listen to Grooves. He’s there to help you.”

“But-”

“Swallow your pride and let him help. Please.”

“...Alright.”

“Get better and I’ll see you soon dad. The kids miss you! Can’t wait to see pawpaw again.”

“Tell them I miss them too.”

“Be safe dad. I love you.”

“Love ya too, Amelia.” Amos hung up, letting out a sigh as he leaned against the pay phone. He looked over to Dominic, who was using the furthest phone in the line. 

The penguin was calling the secretary to let him know they were going to be gone longer. Which Dominic was really leaning into the fact the message needed to be pasted along to all the workers. How they both would be coming back. 

Bu̱t͙ tha̦ṱ’̨s͙ no̱t tr̥ue͙,̝ i͜s̙ it̼?͕ Yo̳uͅ’̨re n̺ot ex̖p̱e̻cting̖ t͉o c̝ome̖ back͍ fṛo̭m t̻h̘i̬s̟.

Amos swallowed weakly. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he moved away from the phones and turned towards the street. 

A̟lwa̻ys̨ t̺h͔e̞ sa̞m̤e̠ fo͈r͉ y̦ou. Eͅx̱p̼e̞ct̝ th̺e͓ worͅsṱ. Be͜c̘ause th̤aṱ’̮s͚ a͍ḽl͎ t͢ha̝t͢ is to b̢e̖ e̦xp̗ect͔ed of̹ y̳ou. Th͟e͇ a̗bs͜olu̱te̹ w͓o͢r̖st̝.

Sitting on the curb, Amos crossed his arms over his knees, chin resting on top of them. His ears were pressed against the top of his head, remaining focused on the pavement of the road. 

J͈us̬t a̯d̻mi̡t̤ it̯:̺ you’r̢e d̩yiͅn̢g. Yo̯u’ve k͈nown t͇his fo͜r̗ a w̤h̨i͉ḷe. Y̙et̳ yo̟u̼ ke̥ep̙ g̗i͙vi̯n͇g th̰i͕s se̘ns͇e̘ o̖f͟ hop͖e͇ to yo͈u̱r daug͙h̳ter th͜a͜t̡ y̢ou’ll͖ c̦o͜m͟e̩ b̖a̢ck.̟ How͢ seͅl͔fis̩h of̢ ỵo̮ṷ. N̗ot̫ eve̝n g͎i̞vi̲n͍g͔ ḫe͚r͔ a cha̢nc̘e to̭ h̩a̩ve͢ p̩ro̭p͍e͙r c͚l͕os̝ur̠e̥.

“Amos.” Dominic’s voice broke through, a hand resting gently on the owl’s shoulder. 

“Finally pass the message?”

The penguin nodded as he sat down. “I’m hoping it’s actually passes along.”

“We really need ta replace him.”

“We do…”

“...But we aren’t.”

“Probably not.”

Amos huffed, a smile being pulled onto his face. “As long as we have that cleared up.”

“Mmm… Were you able to talk to Amelia?”

“Aye…”

“Does...Does she know what this could lead to?”

“No. She doesn’t need to know.”

“Amos-”

“She has enough on her plate ta deal with. This is my problem.”

“But if your-”

“We need to go. If we want ta keep ahead o’ those government peck necks, we’ll need that car” Amos stood, heading towards where their server had pointed them. Dominic gave a look of disapproval to the retreating back. But couldn’t really disagree as he knew time was not on their side. 

So, even though the penguin wanted to reprimand Amos for leaving his daughter in the dark, Dominic remained quiet. One problem at a time. And they had agents to avoid. 

[thatdamnokie]

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.  

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone​ was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

like

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen​)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

D:

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[violetwolfraven]

It’s A Romcom Cliche

@gendistic42 here’s something I wrote as a Christmas present for you! I’m a bit swamped right now as far as writing projects but I may expand on this later. For now, enjoy a holiday piece. :)

I’ve never written from Mike’s perspective before, so this should be interesting.

Tw: underage drinking, general teenage chaos, vomit, who knows how to write that kind of party that doesn’t actually exist anywhere but in movies? not me!

Mike was definitely a bit drunk right now, but in his defense, he didn’t actually know the eggnog was spiked until he’d already had a huge cup and Ike told him matter-of-factly that he was going to throw up later.

In hindsight, Mike really should have seen that coming, but honestly he probably would have drank it anyway. It wasn’t like he didn’t usually leap before he looked.

That was what made life fun, after all. Taking risks without thinking. Thinking just lead to doubting yourself and doubting yourself just lead to not doing fun things and not doing fun things meant you were wasting your life. You had to seize the days you got, because otherwise why even live?

That was most of Mike’s friend group’s philosophy. Their little (junior, according to Elmer’s big brother who claimed they were too young to be a real motorcycle gang) motorcycle gang was full of impulsive, slightly-eccentric kids who lived in the moment. Of course, they looked out for each other as much as they could, confirmed excuses and alibis when necessary, but none of them worried much about their own safety.

Hence why they were having a huge party with spiked eggnog in December, meaning there was a likely possibility a lot of them would be staying overnight. Not that it mattered much.

Spot’s dad was at a conference in Boston and wouldn’t be back for at least a few more days. And if he did come back early for some reason, he’d probably just give them a lecture and then not tell anyone’s parents. Denton was cool like that. As long as nobody died, ended up in the hospital, or got anybody pregnant, he favored having the group’s trust over busting them, probably so he could be sure they’d come to him for help if there was a serious problem.

So far, through taking care of each other as best they could while having fun, there hadn’t been a serious problem.

Mike jumped as a tipsy Elmer grabbed his arm.

“Mike, buddy, this song fuckin’ slaps!”

Mike hadn’t noticed what song was on, given that his reaction time was currently a little slow, but he had to admit that Turn Down For What would always be a banger and being drunk just made it better.

He didn’t know how long he was bopping to the beat among his friends before he stopped, realizing that Ike’s prediction was about to come true, and barely made it to the toilet before puking his guts out.

Mike groaned. This was already becoming very un-fun, but throwing up was making him think about the killer hangover he was going to have in the morning. Also about how Ike had probably been drinking, too, so they’d need to stay the night at Spot’s. They could get a ride home, but hiding two drunk twins was significantly harder than just one.

In short, he was thinking ahead, which was reminding him why he didn’t like thinking ahead.

“Whoa, Mike, are you okay?”

Someone was rubbing his back as he retched, and Mike was officially shitfaced, because he could swear when he looked up that was Jojo de la Guerra.

He’d been joking when he invited Jojo. Not because he didn’t want Jojo to come, but because he’d never in a million years thought he’d actually show up.

“Did I pass out?” he groaned, hoping his words weren’t too slurred, “Am I dreamin’? Is that what’s happenin’ right now?”

“No?” Jojo looked confused, “You invited me.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“Wait, are you drunk?”

“Yeah, that’d be accurate.”

Jojo now looked extremely nervous, “Ain’t everyone at this party underage?”

“Uh... I thinks one of Albert’s older brothers stopped by, so no. Wait, he left a couple hours ago, so yes.”

Mike was a little surprised when he slipped standing up and Jojo had to catch him. That was, he was a little surprised that Jojo could catch him. The nerd didn’t look like he had that much muscle on him.

Well, Mike was sure he was blushing, it wasn’t just the alcohol making his face flushed, but he wasn’t sure if the pink in Jojo’s cheeks was his imagination or not.

“Uh, do you need a glass of water or somethin’?” he asked nervously, “Why is there alcohol at a party where everybody’s underage, anyway?”

“Cause it’s fun,” Jojo said simply, “Ya think Mush and Blink’d be makin’ out against a wall in front of everybody if they wasn’t absolutely sloshed?”

“Okay, well, do ya need water?”

Mike thought about it, and he was pretty sure it wouldn’t take him so long to decide if he hadn’t drank so much.

“Nope. But I could do with some air.”

None of the others were sober and/or focused enough to notice as they made their way through the party to Spot’s back porch.

The air was icy cold, but Mike was overheated, so it felt good. And the snow was beautiful, reflecting light from the windows of the house. A few small icicles were hanging down from the roof above.

He wasn’t quite drunk enough that he didn’t notice when Jojo leaned against him, just a little, because of the cold. After all, Jojo was beautiful, too. Probably more beautiful than the snow.

But he didn’t say that.

“I love winter,” he said instead, “Ike and I used to play in the snow till we damn near froze to death. Or until one of us got a headshot in a snowball fight.”

“Sounds fun,” Jojo muttered.

“Oh, it was. And we’d stir our hot cocoa with candy canes when we went inside, so’s it’d be all minty.”

Mike smiled at the memory. They never did that anymore, whether it was because they were busy with homework or because they just... forgot, what with TV series to binge and Among Us games to win and friends to meet up with for a big snowball fight.

He liked their life now. He really did. Mike wouldn’t trade his friends for anything. But he had to admit, it had been simpler back when the only people he and Ike had were each other.

“And here you are now,” Jojo noted, “Drunk at a high school party on a back porch with that nerd ya partnered with for a science project once.”

“Well, that nerd happens to be my friend, so I counts that as a win.”

Jojo didn’t respond for a few seconds, and Mike realized.

“Wait, are we friends?”

They were close enough together that he could feel Jojo take a deep breath.

“I thinks so.”

That felt nice. And he could tell now. Jojo’s face was definitely flushed and it had been since before they came outside, so it couldn’t be from the cold. That sent a pretty clear signal, and...

“Mike, stop. What’re ya doin’?”

“I was gonna kiss you,” Mike said. He’d been pretty sure it was obvious.

Had he... been reading Jojo’s signals wrong?

“Mike, you’re drunk. Ya probably ain’t gonna remember this tomorrow. You don’t really care, it’s just that I’m here and no one else is. You don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it. Jojo—“

“You’re a boy in the biker gang all the girls and gays swoon over and you’re goin’ for me, the nobody from science class,” Jojo scoffed, “Sounds likely.”

“Jojo, it don’t matter who my friends are,” Mike tried to insist, “I like you. Like, like like you.”

“Even if I could believe you, there’s no way I’d kiss you while you’re drunk.”

That was worse than straight up rejection. Because Jojo was kind of saying that he did have feelings for Mike and just wouldn’t believe that Mike had feelings for him.

Mike had to focus on not crying for a good few minutes before he started realizing just how fast the snow was coming down.

“Hey, Jojo, how deep do ya think that snow is?”

“Shit.”

That made Mike laugh. He didn’t think he’d ever heard Jojo swear.

“It’s gotta be at least a foot, and still comin’ down. There’s no way anybody can drive home through that. Most of you’s is on motorcycles, and—“

That was when the lights inside went out abruptly, and more than a few people screamed.

Mike got up carefully, trying not to stumble too much, “We should find out what that was.”

They made it inside just in time to hear Spot holler, “A fuckin’ power line went down! And that don’t just mean no light and no WiFi—that means no heat! We ain’t got long before it starts to get real cold here!”

“I found the candles!” Hotshot (Spot’s little brother) yelled.

“Oh, that’ll help a ton,” Jack said sarcastically before Davey ran up.

Naturally, Mike’s mind chose that moment to go off on a tangent of how if Jack Kelly could get a smart boyfriend who was way too good for him, maybe he could too if he could just get Jojo to see that he really liked him, but he still caught what Davey said.

“There’s a foot of snow on the hood of my car. Nobody’s goin’ anywhere, so everybody text your parents before your phones run out of batteries.”

“What if my mom can tell I’m drunk?” Romeo shouted.

“I’m textin’ Mom, dumbass!” Jack shouted back, “For all of us! I’m the soberest person here!”

Race, Romeo, and Crutchie all called their thanks to their big brother.

“I think that’s me, actually,” Davey pointed out, “Soberest ain’t even a word, Jackie.”

Mike cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled into the darkness, “Ike, ya wanna text Mom and Dad, or should—“

“I’ll do it, moron! You’re shitfaced!”

“Shit,” Jojo was muttering as he typed a text, “Shit, shit, shit, I told my dad I’d only stay for an hour. Shit.”

“It ain’t your fault ya got snowed in,” Mike pointed out.

“No, but if my parents find out there was alcohol at this party—“

“Good news, y’all!” Spot hollered from the stairs, the multiple phone flashlights pointed at him the only thing making him visible, “Me and Hotshot’s dad has a big stash of blankets and sleepin’ bags and stuff, so we’s all gonna make a big nest and huddle together in the living room. Hopefully nobody freezes to death. If anybody don’t wanna sleep in what they’s wearin’, come find me!”

With that, he disappeared to go grab blankets.

“My parents are gonna kill me.”

“Don’t let ‘em,” Mike said, “I’d have to avenge you. Then I’d go to hell and I wouldn’t see ya in the afterlife! Plus you’d hate me for killin’ your parents, so—“

“Mike, please stop talkin’.”

“Wanna sleep with me?”

“What?!”

It took Mike a full 10 seconds to realize.

“Not like that!” he exclaimed as soon as he did realize, “Like if we’s all makin’ a nest to keep warm, ya wanna sleep next to me? For not freezin’ to death?”

Jojo was still looking at him pretty weird, and that made Mike sad.

“I’m sorry. Ya don’t have to. That was stupid. I’m stupid. I shouldn’ta said that, but I did cause I’m stupid. I’m sorry for everythin’. Like, everythin’. Everythin’ I’s ever said and—“

“Stop,” Jojo interrupted, “That’s... this is just gettin’ sad. Mike, it’s fine. Just... I guess I can’t expect ya to say things in a less weird way—you’re drunk.”

He didn’t seem especially annoyed or even uncomfortable. Just... blushing. Definitely blushing.

Mike could barely see him in the dark, but he still was pretty sure Jojo de la Guerra was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll sleep with you. Next to you. Ugh. Just don’t barf on me.”

“Okay,” Mike mumbled. God, now that it was dark, he was already yawning. He didn’t remember where he’d left his hoodie. He should probably ask Ike about that.

It was already getting cold in the house, and the candles Hotshot was lighting definitely weren’t helping that much.

Mike didn’t mind how Jojo was sticking close to him even if it was probably just for warmth.

[metalnmagick]

Well I started out wanting to write nickles mic sharing but it turned into Magnus having his first of many diva tantrums and well. Here you go.

Contains: Nickles (if you squint) and also MagNate (also if you squint), fighting, and general jackassery and jealousy on Magnus’ part. Enjoy!

Let the record state that Magnus Hammersmith did not intend for any of this to happen.

They’d never intended on Pickles usurping Magnus as backup vocalist, but Nathan figured since Pickles had been a vocalist previously and his voice was more distinct, he was a better fit. That much had been fine with Magnus, who preferred to devote himself to his guitar anyway. But this… This was a little much.

“No, it’s never gonna work if we don’t come in at the same time.” Pickles sighs, getting up from his drum kit and walking over to Nathan. “Look, just keep yer eyes on me when we do it.” He reaches forward, hands touching Nathan’s as he holds the mic with him.

Let the record state that Magnus Hammersmith does not have feelings for Nathan Explosion. They've just become used to each other over the time they’ve spent together trying to get Dethklok off the ground. Nathan has been the only one able to handle Magnus. Nobody else has the right dedication or vision to keep up with Magnus’ lofty standards.

And sometimes if cramped hotel rooms throw them together into one bed, and they’ve both been drinking, that’s just been due to circumstance. Nothing deeper to being tangled together on a twin sized bed, nothing deeper to whiskey flavored tongues pressing together under the flickering light of a lamp whose bulb should have been changed long ago, nothing deeper to heaving chests and desperate grunts in the fevered heat of drunken passion.

Let the record state that Magnus Hammersmith is absolutely not jealous. He just thinks it’s embarrassing how shamelessly Pickles flirts with their frontman.

“You don’t have to hold the mic for me, I’m not a kid.”

“I’m not holdin’ it for ya. I’m holdin’ it with ya.” Pickles rolls his eyes, smiling good naturedly. “We gotta sync up if we want this t’sound any good. We’ll go slower this time. Don’t think about how it sounds, just think about us keepin’ pace.” Nathan nods in response and Pickles turns to Magnus, pushing teased red hair off of his shoulder to see him better. “Okay, let’s try this again, but a little slower. Ready?” Magnus grunts in response, placing his fingers on the strings. He starts to play, a little slower this time.

Let the record state that Magnus Hammersmith did not write this song to be a duet. Pickles was the one who swooped in with his brilliant idea, and Nathan never turns Pickles’ ideas down. He insists Pickles knows what he’s talking about, but Magnus thinks he knows more. He wrote the damn song after all. But he hates arguing over relatively small details, so he had let Pickles do what he thought was best.

Nathan has to crouch slightly so they’re on the same level, and their mouths are separated only by the microphone and scarcely an inch of space on each side. Magnus bites his tongue to keep from telling them to get a room, and continues playing.

Nathan’s eyes are fixed on Pickles’ lips as they sing, trying to stay with him as the song picks up. They’re doing alright so far, and once they get through the first section of the song, Pickles gestures for Magnus to stop.

“Yer doin’ great!” He pats Nathan on the shoulder encouragingly. “Just pay attention to when I breathe in, because there’s not a whole lotta room to do it in this one.” Nathan nods, and they stand there, talking about nothing, faces still so close they look like they’re whispering about something.

“Magnus, you okay?” Nathan asks, taking him by surprise. “You look pissed.”

“I’m fine.” Magnus says, letting out a short huff. “I just need a drink.” He sets his guitar down on a chair and leaves, walking to the makeshift kitchen in their practice space, not even asking if they want anything.

He stands by the fridge, beer in hand, and tries not to think about the way Nathan’s eyes lingered on Pickles’ lips a little too long after they finished singing. Tries not to think of the way their fingers locked together around the mic, as if it was all too natural for them. Tries not to think about the way it burns him up inside how they look at each other, how they laugh together like old friends, how Nathan gushes about him nonstop when he isn’t around.

Magnus peers into the room as he finishes off the latter half of his beer, and nearly rolls his eyes all the way back into his skull. Pickles is standing half-behind-half-beside Nathan at his drums, hands on his, guiding him with the sticks to show him how it works. Like something out of a cheap romance movie.

“So that’s the easy part. But now ya gotta multitask.” Pickles slides one leg forward between Nathan’s to hit the pedal. Magnus can see Nathan blushing from here, and it makes him sick. He pulls a cigarette out of his shirt pocket, lighting it and taking a deep drag.

“So how did you even learn the drums?” Nathan asks.

“‘S a helluva lot easier than the guitar. Just kinda paid attention to our drummer in Snakes n’ Barrels when he played. Easy enough to pick up on.” Pickles shrugs, keeping his eyes on the drums.

Smug fucking bastard. Magnus thinks, scoffing to himself. False modest piece of-

“Magnus, you almost done in there?” Pickles calls, walking away from Nathan and his drums and back over to the mic. “I wanna try ‘n go through that last one a couple more times.” Magnus crushes the empty beer can in his hand on a countertop, tossing it in the trash and walking back in. He tries to maintain his composure as he puts his guitar back on.

“Yeah, let’s just fuckin’ go.” He grunts, cigarette still in his mouth.

“You sure you’re okay?” Nathan asks again, walking back to Pickles and taking the microphone off its stand.

“I’m fucking fine. Just go.” He starts playing, hardly giving the two of them time to get ready, and they start up again.

Let the record state that Magnus Hammersmith never really thought they needed a drummer. He’s firmly convinced that he and Nathan could have been great all on their own, vocals and guitar, and they didn’t need some bigshot from a has-been glam rock band coming in and telling Magnus how to do things. Now Nathan is suggesting they get a bassist, and maybe someone on keyboard, or a second guitarist. Magnus is convinced Pickles is the one giving him these ideas.

“Dude, slow down. Yer goin’ way faster than normal.” Pickles breaks his reverie, and Magnus stops all at once, giving him a venomous look.

“Why don’t you write the fuckin’ songs then if you know so goddamn much?” He asks, a sudden outburst of bitterness that takes both of the other two men by surprise.

“Jesus, calm down. What’s up with you today?” Nathan asks, letting go of the microphone and leaving it in Pickles’ hands.

“Yeah, ya don’t normally act like this…” Pickles gives him a look of concern, and that only pisses Magnus off more.

“I don’t know. I don’t know! Maybe I’m fucking sick of watching you-” he points an accusatory finger at the drummer, “-practically riding his dick all the goddamn time to get your way!”

“Dude, what?” Pickles looks genuinely confused, holding up his hands. “Where’s this comin’ from?”

“You know what the fuck I mean. You fucking flirting with Nathan all the time to change shit about our band!”

“I’m not flirtin’ with anybody. And I’m not tryin’ to change shit! I make suggestions, y’know, like someone in a fuckin’ band.” Pickles’ gaze turns from sympathetic and confused to defensive and angry on a dime.

“Guys, come on-” Nathan starts, stepping between them.

“No, clearly he’s got a fuckin’ problem with me. I wanna hear what it is.” Pickles says, stepping past the vocalist and towards Magnus. “Go on, let’s fuckin’ hear it.” He crosses his arms, challenging the guitarist.

“Oh don’t act so fucking clueless.” Magnus scoffs, setting his guitar aside. “I see the way you hang off of Nathan. Making my songs duets just so you can get close to him, holding his hands to show him your fucking drums, telling him we need more people in the band just to fuel your ego. It’s pathetic.”

“Y’know, not everyone thinks they’re God like you do, Magnus.” Pickles replies, his eyes cold. “I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m out to get you, but it’s not fuckin’ true in the slightest. I’m not some evil mastermind or whatever the fuck. I’m just a guy in a band, and I’m tryin’ to participate. I never expect my ideas to be fuckin’ accepted without question. The only reason anyone’s suggestions get by is because we all fuckin’ agree on them. And I’m not out here tryin’ to seduce Nate or whatever! Maybe you’re just projectin’ because you’re fuckin’ jealous of me or whatever.” Nathan, face flushed and eyes wide, puts a hand on each of their shoulders.

“Guys, stop it! Nobody’s taking control of the band on their own, and nobody’s trying to fuck anybody! Just calm the fuck down and-!” Nathan is shoved aside by Magnus, who lurches forward to swing at Pickles. The drummer steps back at the last second, looking shocked.

“Oh you’re fuckin’ dead, asshole.” Pickles shoves Nathan back and lunges at Magnus, the two of them grabbing each other’s throats. Magnus easily overpowers him, pinning Pickles to the ground and choking him with one hand, using the other to take the nearly-forgotten cigarette out of his mouth and grind it into the drummer’s arm. Pickles cries out and swings a leg up, kneeing Magnus in the dick and forcing a pained grunt out of Magnus, who lets go of him. The drummer shoves him off, getting on top of him and winding back a fist that Magnus manages to catch, inches from his face.

“I’m so fucking sick of you. Always fuckin’ getting whatever you want. You think you’re fucking better than me?” Magnus growls, using his free hand to take the other man by surprise and punch him directly in the nose. There’s a sickening crunch, and Pickles falls back, eyes watering hard.

“I don’t think I’m better than anyone, douchebag!” Pickles cries, bleary eyes keeping him from seeing as Magnus gets above him again, about to deliver another blow. “Yer the one actin’ like a psycho jealous girlfriend outta nowhere!” The words have hardly finished leaving Pickles’ mouth before Magnus punches him again, this time in the mouth. There’s a splurt of blood against his knuckles, and Magnus feels satisfied somewhere deep down inside. He feels like he’s inflicting pain that’s been earned, causing bloodshed that Pickles has been begging for. He’s about to do it again when strong arms grab him from behind, easily pulling him off of the drummer and holding him still at last.

“GUYS.” Nathan shouts, apparently finally having had enough. He sighs, frustrated, and turns Magnus to face him. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you today? You’re acting crazy.” Pickles sits up behind them, assessing the damage done to his face and spitting blood onto the floor.

“Are you kidding me? You two are all fucking over each other!” Magnus tries to wrench free of Nathan’s grip, to stop those piercing green eyes from looking into him, but it’s no use. “Every time you share a mic you look like you’re about to french each other! I leave the room for two minutes and you’re holding hands and feeling each other up by the drum kit! It’s disgusting!” Nathan’s face reddens at the accusation, but his expression remains stony. He shoves Magnus aside, not bothering to look at him anymore.

“Go the fuck home. You’re done for today.”

“Oh come on, you can’t be serious.”

“I am. Go home, get the stick out of your ass or whatever, and stop acting like a fucking lunatic. You’re just pissing everyone off.” He walks over to Pickles, kneeling down to assess the damage Magnus has done to him. Magnus clenches his jaw.

“Fine. I get it. You two have fun practicing.” He practically spits the words as he grabs his guitar and turns to leave. He can hear their voices faintly as he walks out, every blood cell in his veins feeling like fire.

“...don’t know why he’s acting like this…”

“...s’fine...dealt with diva shit before…”

“...sure you’re okay…?”

“...m’fine, Nate’n…worry too much…”

Let the record state that Magnus Hammersmith has never once in his life been jealous, especially not now, as he turns back for a moment to see Pickles smiling sheepishly as Nathan holds his face in his hands as if he’s made of glass. Especially not when he sees the way their eyes meet and expressions soften slightly before he turns around. Especially not when he punches a hole in the cheap plaster of the wall in his apartment when he gets home.

[firesfelt]

hi hello ! i’m pace ( she/her ) and i have really horrible timing, as i need to go to bed like asap and also have a packed day tomorrow so can’t be on then either ( rip ) but i rlly wanted to get at least one thing posted before i go ! i’m in the gmt, and am just realising now while i think about intros that all my fcs ( for the moment ) have names beginning with ‘a’ ? inch resting. but i’ll hopefully be able to get intros up for my gals too asap & i rlly wanna do the tasks for everyone and get writing and just have a Hoot. this is the exact environment i need, u know ? exciting !!! anyway, lemme introduce my first character before i end up writing some rambled essay about,,, literally nothing.

( asami zdrenka, 26, demigirl, she/her/they/them ) EMIKA BLAKE was seen listening to HEARTBEAT BY SCOUTING FOR GIRLS on their way to TATTOO ARTIST. EM is known to be CREATIVE & STANDOFFISH.

➜ i always find emika’s personality hard to describe, but i think the best way to begin is ‘misunderstood’ ? she has good intentions, and a kind soul, but the social skills of a wet trout. she’s quiet, and reserved, and has a serious case of resting-grump-face, and it very much leads people to get the wrong sort of impression of her, through no fault of their own. the sarcasm doesn’t help, either. she’s very much a loner ( and therefore a pain in the arse to plot with ) but i always enjoy developing relationships of any kind with her and seeing how things unfold.

➜ obviously, her job has a very social side, and that’s the one thing she can manage. she has no problems communicating in a consultation, getting ideas out there, easing the nerves of an anxious first-timer, expressing herself and what could be best, but that’s often because she knows exactly what to do. she does it day in, day out, and can almost follow a script in a way. sit the same person she had the consult with down for six hours to actually have the tattoo done, and unless they make the effort to keep the conversation going, em has nothing. it’s not even that she doesn’t want to talk, either, she just struggles. and then when she does think of something to say, it can come out abrupt or abrasive, so it’s often best to just keep her mouth shut.

➜ is it obvious yet that emika’s autistic ? she has no idea of this, herself, but it’s canon, just undiagnosed. and it was, admittedly, unintentional. i’ve revamped em from a character from long ago, and the first time i played her, i didn’t set out for her to have autism, and then when i realised that she’s definitely, definitely autistic, everything made sense. it just never got picked up on at school for her, and her mother never paid enough attention to notice or care to do anything in terms of getting a diagnosis or trying to help, so it’s gone undetected. thus far, anyway, who knows ? that could be interesting.

➜ speaking of her mum, let’s talk upbringing. emika was actually born in brighton, england, to her mother, mayumi, and father, stephen. on account of him being a cheating bastard, their relationship fell apart when em was seven. stephen made an attempt with his daughter, but he was in and out of her life for the following five years. at aged twelve, she realised that he really wasn’t worth the effort it took to force a relationship with him, and told him where to stick it. three years later, mayumi would want to uproot to huntsville to follow the latest in a long line of boyfriends --- and stephen didn’t so much as protest. the relationship between mayumi and her canadian lover didn’t last ( here is where em would bitterly mutter ‘they never do’ ) but they never went home.

➜ growing up, she had two escapes: art, and books. she’d always been creative, and always been trouble. think drawing on the hallway walls in crayon at four, getting paint on the living room carpet while creating a ‘masterpiece’ at seven. aka, not trouble, just a kid being a kid, but w/e. try telling her mum that. it was easy to get lost in a drawing or a painting, and she found comfort in reading, too. she’s still a bookworm now, despite not having much free time.

➜ em works too hard. she adores her job, and doesn’t take a single day of it for granted, but she works too hard. there’s nothing she’d rather be doing, and it’s by her own choice, but her time isn’t filled with much else. she specialises in neotrad, but likes to dabble a little and expand her styles when she can. she’s so unbelievably grateful to be doing what she does, especially as it very easily could never have happened for her.

➜ with a home life that was rocky at best, em definitely struggled. as a teenager, she turned to alcohol, and long before she was even legally allowed to drink, she developed a dependency on it. even now, she’d never say she was an alcoholic, but she’d definitely admit that it was a problem, and steers clear from the stuff now. wanting nothing more than to become a tattoo artist was the motivation she needed to get sober, and she knows it very easily could’ve gone in the opposite direction. she got an apprenticeship in the end, and the rest is history.

➜ but ! she’s still young !!!! like super young !! i always like to pick a fc a couple of years younger than however old i’m playing her, because it’s kind of a thing that emika looks even younger than she is. but where a lot of asami’s resources are from a couple of years ago, i thought a year’s difference would do ! but em knows she’s young and still has so much room to learn, and she’s eager to. she just wants to get better and better.

➜ so as an individual who speaks to her mum as little as possible, has no other family in canada, and has very few friends ( if any ? ) who keeps emika company, i hear you ask ? why, it’s her two goldfish and  her chinese softshell turtle, of course. named fred, george, and dobby, respectively. she loves her tank full of friends far more than she’d ever care to admit. ideally, she’d love a dog, but doesn’t have the time to dedicate to caring for one, nor does she have the space. emika moved out at eighteen, the second she could scrape enough money together to do so, and moved into the tiniest box of an apartment, and hasn’t moved since. despite its size, she truly loves her little flat ---- and hates change.

➜ going forward, i’m open to,,, anything. with all three of my goblins, i’m really open to absolutely anything. including just vibing and seeing what happens, but i’m coming in really open and just wanting to Explore. i have an idea for a wc for em, which should be super interesting, but other than that, it’s all just vibes and goin with the flow !!

➜ i hate to wrap things up abruptly, but i really gotta go to bed lmao ( i should’ve written my intros out earlier, rip. isn’t hindsight amazing ? ) so just some things to note: when it comes to gender, em mostly idenifies as ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ and really just doesn’t think about it. she’s probably never talked to anyone about it, either, not properly/in depth. she doesn’t really think about it, and it doesn’t really,,,, matter ?? to her ?? it just sort of,,, Is. she/her absolutely flies with her, they/them is also appreciated, she really just,,, doesn’t mind. sexuality is one she did have a big crisis over ( and is it still ongoing ? kinda ) but eventually just decided that bi was the label that fit best so that’s what she goes with. she still,,, has no idea. and doesn’t know if it even matters. she split her life between brighton and huntsville, so it was never like she’d never be accepted, but it was all a big Internal Yikes for her.

➜ tldr: dog loving, artistic book enthusiast, who has more coffee in her system than blood and loves her job and her fish more than anything. a total pain in the arse, but a hard worker and bringer of sarcasm. and bitterness. but also bad jokes and gossip --- it’s easy to forget she’s there when she’s so quiet; she hears all kinds of shit.

➜ ooh ! one thing to note ! while em is obviously covered in tattoos, she doesn’t actually share any of asami’s irl ones, so pls keep that in mind ! and ignore in photos/gifs ! will have more details when i do her stats/first task, but for now i really have to go bed !! i’m v excited to be here though, ty for having me and i’ll be here properly soon <3

[ragewerthers]

Imperfectly Perfect

Summary: As Prompto grows disheartened at trying to learn some of Ignis' fighting moves, the Adviser reassures him that even he needed to work hard to get to where he was.

He wasn't perfect.

And there are at least five things that Ignis can name that he wasn't perfect at when he started.  But if Prompto works hard enough, perhaps he'll learn all of his Ignis' perfect imperfections?

A/n: Hello there!

This is another fun F3S prompt from my friend @bgn846​!  She asked for:

'Who taught Prompto how to flip and jump around during battle?  I've seen him do hand stands etc so he had to learn that somewhere.  Could be shippy or not depending on who helps him. I leave that up to you.'

This was super fun to write and I hope that you enjoy it!

You can also read on AO3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400796

Enjoy! :D

Word Count: 2739

--------------------------

“Okay… and again.  Remember to put all your weight on the ball of your left foot and use the momentum of your right leg to complete the maneuver back and onto your palms.”

“R-right… yeah… use the… and then it’ll push me into the… um… which foot was it again?”

Ignis only just held back a sigh as he heard his darlings question, bringing his hands up to rub over his face as he pushed his glasses up his forehead.

“Left, love.  It’s left,” he said with as much patience as he could muster, lowering his hands and adjusting his glasses back on his nose.

The sun was finally starting to rise over their campsite at the Oathe Haven.  The early morning light filtering through the trees speckled the surrounding area in a mix of light greens and golden hues.  Currently his other two partners were still asleep as this had become something of a private lesson as of late.

After seeing the way Ignis handled himself in battle, Prompto had asked the Adviser if he would be willing to teach him a few things.  Mostly because he was getting tired of tripping over his own two feet or a stray rock while they were in the midst of battle!  If he could recover from his own clumsiness quicker with the help of some of the gymnastic moves Ignis could pull he would be a greater asset to the team!

Ignis had definitely seen the merits of teaching the gunner a few moves that would help when they were all locked in the heat of battle and so had agreed to it.

Now, however, was one of those times where he debated if it really was such a good idea to teach his clumsy sweetheart such moves.

As he glanced back over to Prompto he could see the normally upbeat blond was looking down at the rocky floor of the haven, his shoulders slumped in early defeat.

“Sorry, Ignis,” he heard the man whisper.  “I know this has to be annoying to you.  I-I… I’m not the most… coordinated person so I have a lot of questions and… I’m sorry.”

Ignis’s earlier annoyance quickly dissolved as  he saw that familiar expression and he waved his hand dismissively.  “You have nothing to apologize for, Prompto.  Everyone learns at their own pace and I myself had many missteps trying to master the more gymnastic moves of my own fighting style.”

Whatever Ignis was expecting it wasn’t for Prompto to snort and cross his arms over his chest, still refusing to meet Ignis’s eyes.  “Yeah.  And I’m the King of the Chocobo’s,” he mumbled.  “There is absolutely no way Mr. ‘I’m-perfect-at-everything-I-do-the-first-time-I-do-it’ Scientia had any problems doing this!”

Ignis had to bring a hand up to stifle a poorly timed chuckle, seeing just how perturbed Prompto was over the whole thing.

“I can assure you, love,  that I am most certainly not perfect at everything I do the first time.  I can name five things right off the bat and I’m sure Gladio and Noctis would add to the list if they weren’t still being a couple of lazy bones this morning,” he said lightly, getting Prompto to finally look at him, a small smile threatening the edges of his mouth.

“Really?” the younger man inquired, his defensive position slowly relaxing as curiosity started to take over.

Ignis did chuckle then and nodded.  “Really.”

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Prompto shot back, though his tone was definitely more playful now.

“I used to be atrocious at sewing.  I once managed to put a button on the back of one of Noct’s shirts,” he began, starting to list things off on his fingers.  “Not to mention that when I first started baking I burnt half of all my creations.  I also had to put in extra practice when I started driving the Regalia.  And I can assure you from the bottom of my heart that when it came to this particular fighting style I had to put far more hours into it then simple dagger training.”

As Prompto listened to him list off all the things he’d tried and failed at the first time, Ignis didn’t feel embarrassed about divulging such information.  Rather, he felt like if Prompto could see his own shortcomings, perhaps he wouldn’t be so disheartened about his progress in this gymnastic style fighting.

Glancing up he saw Prompto now looking at him with a little bit of awe and he could feel his cheeks heating up slightly.

Perhaps there was a bit of embarrassment underneath all of his good intentions.

Prompto seemed to read whatever he was feeling on his face as a playful little smile appeared.  “You only listed four, Igster.  You promised me five,” he said lightly, and Ignis chuckled despite himself.

“If you can manage to land a back handspring by the end of training today I’ll tell you,” Ignis promised.

“Oh…. Oh it’s gonna happen, Iggy!  I need to know what else you’re hiding under that perfectness!” Prompto teased as he took up his starting position once more.

“Mm.  We’ll see.  I should warn you this particular maneuver took me at least a week to get down.  Ask Gladio.  He was my spotter and as such the recipient of a misplaced kick to the head… his stomach… and on one particularly bad flip… to his groin.”

Prompto had just crouched to try and get ready for the flip when he heard that comment and instantly buckled into a giggle fit.

“St-stop!  You can’t make me laugh when I’m trying to learn your secrets!” he laughed, Ignis smiling more at the rather endearing sound.

“What’s goin’ on out here, Giggles,” a deep voice rumbled from behind them as Gladio made his way out of the tent, his hair tied up in a messy bun and looking for all the world like he’d just slept for seventy-five years.  His rather rumpled state managed to tickle Prompto’s funny bone even more and the gunner tried to cover his mouth as he continued to giggle.

“Just regaling Prompto of my endeavors in gymnastic combat,” Ignis answered honestly with a little smile as Prompto continued to fail and recover himself.  Gladio actually flinched in front of the small camp stove where he was pouring himself a cup of coffee at the mention of those dark, dark times.

“I can still feel it,” he grumbled, not helping Prompto to calm down in the slightest as the poor gunner literally started to squeak through his laughter.  Ignis found himself unable to keep from joining in, soon having to cover his mouth as his own laughter began to bubble up in his chest.

The unimpressed look he received from the Shield made him snort and have to look away as Gladio took a seat in front of the smoldering fire.

“I’m glad it’s amusing to you.  Just hope that blondie doesn’t follow his teachers suit,” he mumbled into his mug.

“A-Apologies, Gladio,” Ignis said as he finally started to calm down, hearing Prompto slowly catching his breath between giggles as well.  “I was merely trying to reassure him that I have had my own struggles.  That I’m not perfect.”

“Pff.  I coulda told him that,” Gladio smirked over his mug, making Ignis narrow his eyes.

In a flash he called a dagger to his hand, tossing it into the air before quickly spinning on his right heel and delivering a kick to the hilt, sending the blade hurtling past Gladio’s head and embedding into a tree behind him.

Gladio sat there motionless for a moment, cup of coffee still held to his lips and eyes wide.

“..... Astrals you’re hot,” the Shield breathed, making Ignis snort as he adjusted his glasses.

“None of that.  And if all you have better to do is tease, then perhaps you can start trying to wake his Highness?”

Gladio groaned like a child asked to take out the garbage.  “But, Iggy!  I want to watch you and Prompto!  Besides… Noct is literally curled up into a little Prince burrito.  I’m not about to try and get between him and his greatest love… his pillow.”

Prompto giggled again and Ignis couldn’t help shaking his head at his ridiculous boyfriends.  “Fine.  We’ll let him sleep a bit longer, but no more sass from you or there will be hell to pay.  Understood?” he asked, watching as Gladio looked back at him, his smile softer now as he resettled himself in his seat.

“Yes, Sir,” he murmured, giving the man a little wink and salute as he took another sip of coffee.

Ignis actually felt his ears tinge red as he turned back to Prompto, the poor gunner looking just as flustered from the easy flirting of their larger lover.  “Alright then, Prompto.  Think you’re ready to try again?” he asked after clearing his throat, causing Prompto to startle and turn his attention back to him with a darker blush.

“Y-yeah.  Yeah I got this,” the blond offered with a little smile as he ran a hand over his face and tried to refocus himself.

“I know you do, love,” Ignis offered gently, watching Prompto relax at the reassurance.

The morning progressed on, Prompto working to land the back handspring with Ignis’s help.  Soon finding Gladio entering the fray as another spotter only for him to receive another ill placed kick.

“OH MY GODS!  I’M SO SORRY!” Prompto cried, hovering over Gladio where he lay collapsed on the ground, his hands covering poor mini-Gladio.

“Why?  Why... would you… do this?” the Shield wheezed out, Ignis soon returning to his side after a quick trip to their ice chest.

“You know he didn’t mean it and I warned you not to stand there.  It’s just like what happened when you were helping me train.  Here.  this should help, love,” Ignis both chided and soothed as he handed over an ice pack.  Gladio sat up slightly, his hand shakily reaching for it before holding it against his crotch with a hiss and a sigh of relief.

“He’ll never be the same again,” Gladio lamented.

“You’ll be fine.  If anyone can bounce back from this it’s you,” Ignis murmured, pressing a little kiss to the side of Gladio’s head.  Turning to look at Prompto, he saw him watching them both nervously.  Gladio also noticed the other's expression and his own softened.

“Hey.  I’m fine, blondie,” he said softly, though there was still a little strain to his voice.  Prompto seemed unconvinced and Gladio shifted, reaching forward to cup the man’s freckled cheek with his free hand.  “If I’m honest, this was nothing compared to when Iggy got me.  We literally had to get Cor and I had to take a potion.”

Ignis’s cheeks flushed up at that, though it did seem to calm Prompto a little as he let out a slightly shaky breath.  “Really?” the gunner asked and Gladio gave a little chuckle.

“Oh yeah.  So don’t worry, alright?  I’ll get my revenge later,” he teased softly, giving Prompto’s ear a gentle tug and making the younger man giggle as he batted his hand away.

After helping Gladio to stand and get situated back in his camp chair, Ignis decided that perhaps that was enough practice for the day.

“I think you’ve definitely improved from this morning, Gladio’s… mini shield not withstanding,” Ignis said, making Prompto blush and Gladio groan.  “I’m afraid I still can’t reveal my fifth imperfection, but… I have no doubt in my mind that you will find out before the end of the week.”

Though Prompto’s cheeks were still pink he offered a little smile and nodded.  “Okay.  I’m gonna hold you to that.  I’m still sorry, big guy,” he murmured, looking back to Gladio who was still icing himself.

“It’s okay, Prom.  Like I said… I’ll have my vengeance later,” he chuckled and Prompto smiled more, moving over to press a soft kiss to the man’s cheek in apology.

Sadly he wasn’t expecting the larger man to quickly wrap his arm around his waist and pull him into his lap.

“H-Hey!  Gladio!  What about you-NO!  Stahahap it, stahp!” Prompto cackled, finding Gladio’s fingers teasing along his sides as he held him in a bearhug.

“Like I said, I’ve been hit much worse before.  It’ll take more than that to keep me down for the count!” Gladio growled against Prompto’s neck making the man scrunch up as a new wave of giggles overtook him.

“Ihihiggy!  Iggy help!  Hehehelp!” Prompto squealed, crying out as Gladio somehow managed to slip the ice pack under Prompto’s shirt to rest against his poor stomach while he nuzzled his scruffy cheek against the blonds neck.

Ignis chuckled at the sight before him and shook his head fondly.  “Sorry, Prompto.  I’m afraid Gladio won’t be content til he gets his revenge,” he joked playfully as his lovers continued to tussle with one another.

Somehow Prompto did finally manage to wiggle his way free of Gladio’s hold and took off, trying to find something to hide behind.  Gladio was quick to give chase, Ignis unable to keep himself from watching the ridiculous and endearing spectacle before him.   However, at one particular turn, Gladio lunged for their smaller darling and before he could nab him the gunner surprised them both.  In what looked like the most well practiced move, Prompto crouched low before propelling himself to the side, pushing off of his left hand and landing back on his feet with a look of complete and utter shock.

All three men stood there in a moment of shock before the biggest smile appeared over Prompto’s face.

“I… did it.  I did it!” he shouted in absolute glee, Gladio soon swooping in to envelope their boyfriend in another bear hug.

“That was awesome, Sunshine!” Gladio cheered, pressing a kiss to Prompto’s cheeks as the gunner flushed.

“That really was remarkable, Prompto.  I knew you could do it,” Ignis said softly, feeling incredibly proud of what his darling had accomplished.  Moving forward he waited for Gladio to set their younger darling down before ducking down to steal a kiss of his own.

As he leaned back, Prompto’s smile only grew though it began to shift into something a bit more playful and teasing.  “So… does this mean I get to learn your final secret of imperfection?” he asked and Ignis felt his cheeks color as he stood up.

“I… suppose a deal is a deal,” he said, clearing his throat a little as Prompto looked up at him expectantly.

“Oh?  I need to know what’s getting Iggy to blush like that,” Gladio teased as he moved closer and wrapped an arm around Prompto’s shoulder.

“Well… as I’ve stated the first time, I was not proficient when I first started sewing, cooking, driving and fighting.  But… I fear the thing I was the absolute worst at when I started… was…,” Ignis shifted a little as he tried to find the right way to admit to his own previous faults.

“... styling my hair.”

Ignis could feel his cheeks absolutely burning as he admitted that he may have made a few less than wonderful styling choices and as the silence drug on he glanced up to find Gladio and Prompto both looking at him curiously.

“What?” Ignis asked, feeling slightly unnerved by the looks, but before he could press further both men were on him, hugging him in a standing sort of cuddle pile as they laughed.

“Oh my gods!  You are adorable!  You literally think a few bad hair choices were worse than not being perfect at driving and cooking?!” Prompto laughed, pressing a few kisses to the man's cheek as Ignis blushed more and a shy smile appeared. “I mean… they were definitely something, I’ll give you that,” Gladio teased, getting a small glare from Ignis until he got a few kisses from his larger darling.  “But they were adorable all the same.”

“Well… I’m glad that you all don’t seem to mind me being imperfect sometimes,” Ignis chuckled, and getting two warm smiles in return.

“Of course, Iggy,” Prompto said softly.

“Somehow you’re the only one who can make imperfection perfect,” Gladio teased.

“Yeah!  You’re imperfectly perfect,” Prompto giggled and Ignis chuckled as well.

While this wasn’t exactly how he had expected the morning to go he was absolutely content with its outcome.

Imperfectly perfect as it was.