#he didnt handle 1 single situation well

[kalikoking]

imma say it because i've been thinking it for a while and their little "performance reviews" rp is the perfect time to say it: the "oldbois" dons really only value one thing, and that is traditional gang crime. their big focus is on weed, moonshine, cleaning money, etc. and that's not necessarily bad, but they really dont prioritize heists at all. they're keeping around people like octo, yuno, and marty for the heists, but they dont see heists and buttc as a priority. it doesnt count as a contribution to them. and granted, a lot of the heists havent been very profitable yet, but it just feels like, from the perspective of characters like yuno and marty, buttc and these low level heists are going to be crucial for doing the big profitable crime, and it just doesnt feel like that's something most of the dons want to invest in or prioritize. when they were first discussing heist crews, most of the dons said they wanted to do it, leading to the second heist crew with marty being formed, but when it came time for actual heists, yuno and octo were desperately calling anyone they could to join because no one was around and the hq app was full of weed pushers.

it feels like they're neglecting the heist side of things, but also wondering why the heist oriented members aren't pushing weed or moonshine, or contributing in some other currently tangible way. which would still be valid if they were accepting other forms of contributions, but there's been multiple instances of them rejecting monetary contributions, and they simply dont value buttc contributions like marty's been doing since before he even joined the crew.

obviously none of this really affects me directly, so it's not like it really matters, but i really like the yuno/marty duo, and especially after everything they've done so far, it'll just feel really shitty to me if marty ends up leaving because of all this. and i think that someday down the road when they DO hit those big heists, they'll need a second hacker. i'd be really disappointed if they cut marty out now without paying any attention to the bigger picture, just because they only want to look at weed, moonshine, and materials right now.

[wordy-little-witch]

Oooooughhhh. Two Random One piece regression hcs because I had a bad day pls enjoy:

Usopp: Love that you mentioned him as someone who is Robins chosen storyteller ™️, because that boy is just SOOOO big brother coded. Revels in it really. Big and small kids alike are just immediately drawn to him and he’s lowkey proud of that. The cool caretaker that lets you do cool stuff when you’re little. Genuinely, I love him, I can’t not imagine him as just one of the best people to look after someone that’s regressed. Just radiates comfort.

Perona + Buggy: for some reason can easily imagine her getting spooped and accidentally using her devil fruit powers on Buggy by accident…. Which makes him regress immediately because he was already slipping and getting a face full of bad thought ghost isn’t helping. Perona does not know Buggy regresses. PANIC. Full blown panic. Like “Crap! I emotionally scared this yonko!” Crocodile and Mihawk enter the room utterly confused to a stressed out pastel goth trying her damndest to somehow calm down their husband with a bunch of plushies and toys and making funny faces at him. It only helps a little, mainly because Buggy is more confused than anything tough.

She’s glad when things get cleared up and she learns that she DIDNT traumatize Buggy so hard he perma regressed. Very apologetic about it as well. Often offers to help out as a secondary caretaker for him, but rarely ever gets to do it, because she is a bit much for little Buggy. He loves her but she can easily go from “Fun spooky ghost” caretaker to “Way too much and in his face” caretaker by accident, so it’s best when someone’s there who can remind her to give the clown a little bit space. Whenever their energy matches they both get on like a house on fire. She probably loves when he looks an after her when she regresses, even though she usually is a very independent kiddo and doesn’t necessarily want someone to take care of her. But Buggy just knows how to handle her specific brand of chaos and actually encourages it. Mihawk kind of hoped he’d encourage her to calm down a little…. Pff

1) baby doll I hope your day gets/got better bc if not I'll find anyone who was ever mean to you and i'll make them snort their bone dust like coke ily mwah mwah apply to forehead

2) i!!!! Love!!!! Getting!!!!! Regression stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3) Usopp is criminally underrated and he'd be the BEST caregiver or at the Very Least Babysitter ever and I'll die on that hill happily. He's the type to kiss booboos and tell stories and match energy and keep you happy, safe, and hit that perfect sweet spot of Encouraging You and Not Be Overbearing. Perfect mans. I don't always love snipers but when I do it's Usopp Only. I'd trust him to give me open heart surgery but he might slip a rubber duck in there. I'd be fine with it.

Robin absolutely feels Safe with Usopp. It's. Hard to explain. But he manages to hit every single Comfort Person Point she has, and if Franky is busy and Robin is regressed, she's with or near Usopp.

((When Luffy eventually feels comfortable and safe to regress, he's clingy and quiet. And Usopp just likes having a captain shaped backpack, giving him snacks and preening with each and every giggle he can get out of the other. And when Robin is little too, it's a wonderful mess - in a literal sense. Who doesn't love fingerpainting on a deck literally covered stern to starboard in paper?? Trick question, everyone does.))

4) Perona+Buggy just!!!!! Yes!!!!!!

I'm caught between the idea of Buggy being mostly unaffected by her ghosts and him just. Getting the hit and not really responding much.

But when he's already teetering and that ghost pulls everything to the forefront like a sucker punch, he is absolutely Not Prepared.

Frankly. I could see the situation along the lines of them having a mild argument. Perona gets mad, and just fwoosh sends her little guys out. It's knee-jerk. It's just A Thing She Does. It's likely not even the first time she's done it specifically TO Buggy. The last few times just resulted in a semi badass semi depressing moment á la Lapis and Blue Diamond from Steven Universe.

This time Buggy goes very still and she's still throwing a fit until she realizes there's no sound, no clap back, nothing. And she looks up. And Buggy's completely blank faced with tears streaming from his eyes. He's nit even moving to hide them or wipe them away. This isn't the first time she's seen him cry, not by a long shot, but it is the first time she's seen him like.... this.

Somehow, she thinks through the panic, she's almost prefer outright wailing.

She's trying desperately to fix it, both because Oh My Bats I Just Scarred A Yonkou and OH MY GODS I JUST SCARRED MY DAD'S CLOWN SPOUSE

She's doing everything she can think of. Cute things make her feel better, so those should help. Right?? A-And soft things! For cuddling!!! That's good for bad moods. Maybe a snack? What does Buggy like. She tries everything. She's spiraling. She's losing it. She even tries to antagonize him into anger - a comment on the nose should work!!

It doesn't.

It makes her panic that much harder.

Shit shit shit she broke him-

And then Mihawk walks in, Croc on his heels. She's crying. Buggy's still crying, ominously blank faced. She's certain Mihawk's gonna kill her (or ground her, which might be worse-), but he just stiffens, takes one look, then nods once.

And Perona watches as that glacial exterior melts into smth vaguely familiar, as his voice takes on that One Special Tone for when she's regressing and- oh.

Ohhh

Ohhhhhh that might be worse, actually.

Crocodile wordlessly pulls out a comically large plush wani toy, sets it down nearby as his sand drags a small chest from under their bed. Then he takes Perona by the hand and leads her to the kitchenette.

"I... I didn't mean to...."

"I know," the logia user offers in a short response, tone a normal level of cool but also somehow gentle. "Stuff happens sometimes. Lil' brat is usually unexpectedly tough, but sometimes that armor is a little looser than usual."

"Did I hurt him?"

"Possibly."

She whines softly, burying her face in her hands. Another hand, far larger and far warmer, plops onto her head. She peeks up at Croc. He sighs around his cigar.

"Shit happens, kid. You made a mistake. It was an accident. All we can do now is work with things and get better moving forward. Understand?"

She nods hesitantly. "I... I want to help. I couldn't help, but I want to."

"You were doing fine."

"Huh?"

He hands her a small little basket - it's full of small baggies, a few juice boxes, and a few apples. One of the fruit has a knife stuck in it. She tilts her head, uncomprehending even as he nudges her back to the main room. "You scared him," he says simply, "and instead of screeching like a little banshee or hiding, he stayed still. Was he responsive?"

"His eyes would follow me when I moved. But he just didn't.... emote. Like at all. It wasn't cute at all. It was.... like a bad kind of scary."

"He was aware, he was scared, and he stayed with you. Look, Bug is stronger than he seems, and he's more vulnerable than he lets on, but that chucklefuck is not stupid by any means. Even terrified, even regressed, even in a bad spot mentally, he trusted you enough to stay. He knew you were safe. What's done is done, pinkie. Now let's go get some snacks on out there and salvage this evening."

".... okay."

<><><><><><><><>

And obviously once things chill out enough, I think it would be adorable if Perona, stressed and fidgety, starts slipping herself. Playing with Buggy once he's calmed a little is actually really fun, even if the kid is semi-verbal. He's mostly self sufficient, and she genuinely enjoys the time they spend sitting together on the carpet while Hawkeyes and Crocodile watch over them. They make a very super duper extra ultra cute block castle, and eventually when Buggy manages to doze off, it's with his head on her shoulder. She just smiles and snuggles closer.

((There's absolutely copies of the picture then taken))

Usually Perona is a little more hyper than Buggy. Big or Little, she's a pastel little whirlwind. When Buggy's up for it, he is THERE and he is THRIVING.

But when he's not, they really do need that buffer lest someone get bitten.

((Bonus points, Perona and Buggy, while they do often look after each other, occasionally regress together at the same time. Whenever that happens, Buggy is smooshed within an inch of his life. If he had a berri for every time a florid haired person who sometimes regresses decided while regressed that he's now their baby brother, he's have two berri, which isn't a lot but it's odd that it happened twice.))

[kingcunny]

EIHF Anon again!

Things that make me absolutely feral:

1) Viserys did not give one single fuck about Rhaenyra throwing her coochie around in a brothel until Daemon's name got tossed in there. His brother and his daughter are cheating on him with EACH OTHER.

2) That very quick shot of Viserys and Rhaenyra in the carriage on the way to Driftmark. His eyes look so sad, and it looks like he wants to say something to her. But her entire body is turned away from him, and she's practically breaking her neck to look outside.

3) Milly!Rhaenyra is never in the room when he defends her claim to other people!! When he promised her he would not supplant her, it was in private, and his oath came attached to a "I did waiver at one time." That must have gutted her. Even if he did promise to keep her heir, he told her the doubt was there. The doubt was real. Her worst fear, at least at some point in time, was very real. And I can't help but think that Viserys did that on purpose to keep her forever off-balance. And the way he just stands there with his hand on the back of her chair as she's walking away. His arms are around her, but it's not an embrace.

my love... youve returned <3

YES LMAO??!! like he was fully in 'good for her' 'shes a chip off the old block 😌' mode UNTIL daemons name gets mentioned. then his position as 'the most important person' in his brother and daughters life gets threatened. and he lashes out at otto for just being the messenger, cause how DARE he suggest that theyre cheating on him. its that thing rhaenyra says to him how she could 'father a dozen bastards and no one in his court would care' like viserys himself wouldnt (and doesnt!) care if shes having bastards, as long as shes coming home to him. rhaenyra isnt going to fall in love with a whore... but daemon... that is a threat

y'think he feels a little bad. almost regrets what hes doing to her. for going back on what he said about letting her pick someone that 'pleases her'. but not bad enough to not do it. he Does need a political band aid for the velaryons, and this way he can resolve that, keep her tied to himself AND 'safe' from daemon in one move. rhaenyra cant even stand to look at him in that moment. i cant remember where i was talking about it before but something about how rhaenyra cant ever be mad at viserys directly. she has to compartmentalize her feelings about him. she cant fight him about this marriage, she cant even allow herself to be angry at him about it. so she has to just. remove herself from the situation.

this is something that actually bothered me a bit in hotd vs fb, but in terms of the interpersonal emotional incest relationship, was fantastic. (although i Guess that just because viserys advisors knew not to question his decision doesnt mean rhaenyra did…?) viserys cant let rhaenyra get *too* comfortable in her position as his heir, cause then she would stop trying to impress him. she would start living for herself and leave him behind, in his mind. viserys couldnt handle that. he couldnt handle 'losing' her. something i read once about how dogs you beat half the time and are sweet to the other half are more 'loyal' than dogs that are wholly treated badly/nice, as they cant predict your moods so they try harder to please you. thats what viserys does to rhaenyra. telling her he wavered once, well whats rhaenyra supposed to think but that he might waver again? her worst fears came true once, and she didnt even know about it. she better be on her 'best behavior' to ensure it doesnt happen again. to keep close to viserys and do whatever it is she thinks he wants so that he doesnt doubt her again.

"His arms are around her, but it's not an embrace." i am gnawing my leg off (affectionate)

[br1ghtestlight]

i always have this idea of writing a fanfic based on the idea that bob and linda are breaking the cycle of abuse and bad parenting and trying to do better for their kids than their parents did for them

i think linda's parents didnt really celebrate her or tell her they loved her very often. they didnt tell her that she could be anything that she wanted to be or that she was strong and capable so she ALWAYS always tells her kids those things. like as a kid if linda got a good grade on a school project (and remember she wasn't the strongest student so thats a pretty big deal) her parents didnt care at all they were like okay whatever we're busy watching the news so of course if one of the kids gets a good grade or does really well on a project linda is their #1 supporter bcuz she wants them to ALWAYS feel loved and supported and know that she thinks they're amazing because she really never got that from her parents

big bob never really expressed love or affection towards bob i dont think?? like he was a very typical 1980s father he didn't say i love you or talk about feelings or cuddle with his kids and bcuz bob's mom died when he was pretty young he didn't have parental support from anyone. so when he had kids even though he isn't super affectionate or good with emotions he always says i love you to them every single day and hugs them and doesn't get upset if they cry or just want to cuddle with him on the couch thats a good thing bcuz that means they trust him and see him as a source of comfort. bob also didnt really trust his dad they never talked about his life or feelings he never felt like he could go to big bob about anything so with his own kids he always wants them to know that they can come to him with any problem & he will be there to listen and support them and he won't get angry even if they did something stupid. like he is SO intentional in how much he loves his kids and how he supports them expressing their emotions because he was never allowed that with his own father

i also think bob's dad in general just wasn't good at expressing his emotions (typical 1980s toxic masculinity yknow) and whenever bob got upset or cried big bob would be like dont do that dont embarrass yourself boys don't cry >:( be tough you're a MAN so bob always tries to let gene express his emotions and cry even when he's being slightly dramatic and he never gets angry at him for acting feminine bcuz he knows how damaging it is when you're forced to hide that part of yourself (and bob DOES cry in front of his kids bcuz its important to normalize those emotions especially in men)

obviously it isnt lily's fault that she died but i think bob was TERRIFIED (especially when the kids were younger and weren't forming strong memories yet) of dying when his kids were young and not getting to see them grow up just like with his mom like that was his biggest fear and it still kinda is. its bittersweet for him knowing that tina is older than his mom ever got to see him be but in a way its comforting bcuz he knows that he made it this long and he's healthy(ish) so he's probably going to get to see his kids grow up!!!!! and thats so important to him he never wanted his kids to experience the trauma of losing their parent when they're young (linda would probably handle it better than big bob did just to be fair)

anyway i have many concepts and situations for this fanfic and hopefully someday i will write it but LINDA AND BOB ARE TRYING SO HARD!!!! TO BE BETTER THAN THEIR PARENTS WERE FOR THEM!!!!!! it makes me so happy to see and its obvious in so many episodes <3 they're trying so so hard

[thekaijudude]

Team MLV vs the Ultra Brothers: Who will win?

Either way, let’s also set up 3 basic rules. The first concerns both sides, the second concerns only the Ultra Brothers, and the last only concerns only Team MLV, because if they have this, they WILL win.

—1: No enhanced forms or fusions.

—2: No reality manipulation or dimensional manipulation or whatever you were talking about in my last qn. I don’t know where Taro and Ace showcased this, but even if it was in their shows, it’s clearly considered non-canon now. I mean, why wouldn’t they have just used that to find the Kingdom in UGF3 if it was canon? 

—3: No elemental abilities, ‘cause if Team MLV has this, even if Vylcan’s the only one using them, the Ultra Brothers have no shot, especially given the other rules. I mean it, if their elemental abilities were allowed, Vylcan could probably just amplify himself enough to destroy any one of the Ultra Brothers with only a few punches.

Anyway, I’ve sent you a doc with all of the abilities of each member of Team MLV. (Btw, recall that Ultraman Adam is my name for the OG Ultraman).

Point 2 is gonna rub some feathers tbh cause the reason why they dont use those abilities anymore is the same reason why main series ultras dont just show up and instantly annihilate Tier 2 kaiju even tho theyve shown very clearly that they could, same reason why Tartarus dosent also instantly destroy US Zero since it was clearly shown in UGF3 ep 10 that even the upgraded US Zero barely makes him flinch (recall that Seven was also involved in that fight thus I can say that AT's damage was due to Seven rather than him, consistent with the fact that he took a hit from Shining Ultimate Zero and was still standing AFTER getting a beatdown from the Leo brothers), same reason why PI Belial didnt also instantly dissipate Geed and Z as well despite the vast difference in power and why can Deathcium Ray Burst knock down PI Belial as well

Its all to make a good show, otherwise fights would end in under a few seconds, and the entire displayed conflict between the Ultras and the Absolutians would also end in a single ep since I pointed out that there simply isnt enough Elite Absolutians to handle even the entire cast of UB-level Ultras

Otherwise by your rationale, the infamous Ginga S episode 12 meme where the Zoa Muruchi that solo'ed both Ginga and Victory would be universal level

There are fans that are for and against those feats still being considered canon or nah. Personally, considering the other ridiculous feats of power we've seen beings other than Ultras have protrayed, as well as how powerful Ultras get as they grow older, Im of the opinion that those hax are canon, and they only reason why they dont showcase those abilities anymore is as said, to have a more interesting fight sequence

(Additionally as I also answered before, TsuPro wouldnt want to have to address a situation of "Hax vs Hax" regularly cause it inevitably introduces an extremely convoluted system, iirc i talked in depth about this in the Chaos Darkness vs Sphere ask)

And with good reason too, as the franchise has tried its best to shift away from delving into higher and higher powerscales beyond New Gen Ultras (Movie form++ like US Zero is the current cap) or else theyll eventually encounter the same problem like Dragonball by writing themselves into a hole whereby the in-universe/multiverse/omniverse scaling cannot keep up with its inhabitants (unless they would have a do a metaversal level of retconning every few years just to avoid this issue, which is an absolute pain in the ass to do due to its implications like what Marvel and DC comics do from what I can understand), which was something they alr did up till Taro which was why u saw that they toned it down so much up till now, with the exception of rare occurences of Legendary Ultras and High Tier fusions obviously

(Note that we're currently not even vibing at Multiversal scales mind you, low multi-universal at best with the current UGF plot, expect things to stay this way for the foreseeable future until TsuPro decides to shift their target audiences to young adults)

Thus Im vibin with this canon, and by removing those abilities, youre bascially nerfing them as far as Im concerned

But again, this has too many characters in a single ask, recall I told u max 2v2 yo, unless u can generalize 2 groups in a short summary via numbers or sth within the ask itself (or summarize and highlight the main attributes like base power, multipliers or sth, not just a reference scale to yet another OC which we dk the scaling for) cause I sure as hell aint gonna read all that in the link u sent just for an AU ask

[otostnai]

Never going to be his.

Notes: fem! reader, slow burn, enemies to lovers, series

otoya eita x reader

is my favoritism for otoya shining? no ofc not anyway

1 2

Summary

Otoya Eita the playboy of the school, the one who made the students turn their heads and gawk at him. Athletic, tall, attractive, and he had money. I mean what else would a girl want in a man? For an odd reason you couldn't see the hype on him. For goodness sake he dumped girls within a week without a care. You couldn't even imagine being friends with him, let alone dating someone like that. His way of handling relationships was horrible, dating girls but breaking up with them no less a week later? No excuse could let him be in the right. So how did you get here? Being pinned against the fine arts wall, and Otoya Eita merely centimeters away from your face. You couldn't lie, he was attractive, but no amount of attractiveness could excuse him from his toxic behaviour. “Let's go to prom together.”

The new school year had started. Y/n strolled down the crowded halls looking for her classroom. You could hear quiet chatter, not much as most students did not have their cliques yet. Y/n kept a steady pace and could hear loud laughter as she neared her classroom. The voices of the laughter were clear who they belonged to. All the students would be quiet and shy just trying to get through the day, oh but not them. What had you done to deserve this? The voices had belonged to no other than Yukimiya Kenyu, Karasu Tabito, and Otoya Eita. You wondered how they managed to stay on the team's football team with their grades and misbehaviour.

Yukimiya Kenyu, tall, handsome, wealthy, so polite as well, not only that he was a model. The way his voice was light and calm. The polite face was only a facade though. The way the girls loved the kind boy act, they ate it right up. Such a shame not a single one of them lasted with him longer than a week. Yukimiya just sucked up to the adults to keep his place on the football team.

Karasu Tabito, a total hazard to anyone near him. His oddly attractive smirk and the way he laughed at any joke, making all the girls feel so special, well before he broke their hearts. Always messing with others and you had no idea why. He seemed to be quite stupid though, how did he stay on the team? You couldn't lie Karasu was a valuable member of the team but his grades were low.

The last one, the worst of them all, Otoya Eita. Sure he was hot, mysterious, witty, rich, and good at music, but he was rude. The way he took his relationships as games before giving up on them. He dated girls just to have that “fluttering feeling” As if. What did that even mean? He was incredibly idiotic at school as well, and didnt put any effort into his work. All you could hope was that you wouldn’t ever have to do group work with him.

As you opened the door to your class you saw the three of them. Here all three of them were in your homeroom, teasing a poor girl before class even started. Sitting in the back surrounding this poor girl. Her face was as red as an apple. She appeared to be stuttering and tripping over her words. How could they just laugh? She was clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Y/n had no other choice but to help her.

“What the hell are you guys doing? Can't you see she's uncomfortable with the three of you guys?” You had called out as you neared the girl they were teasing. Light stomps following you. The class chatter was already quiet but now it had gone to complete silence. All they could hear were your light tapping noises coming from your foot as you waited for a response from the three of them. “Oh my bad, I am so very sorry.” Karasu had squeaked out in a high voice, intimidating a female’s stereotypical voice. He laughed right after he said that and Otoya joined in while Yukimiya had chuckled.

“Who are you? Are you the girl's savior? Didn't think so.” Otoya commented as he took a step closer to you. You were average height but this man had towered over you. Not like it terrified you. Y/n stood her ground and spoke “Y/n L/n. I'm not anyone's saviour but my own, but looking at the girl seeing you three clearly make her uncomfortable. I had no choice, did I? If you could kindly fuck off and leave her alone, thanks.” You could hear laughter from Karasu and Yukimiya from behind Otoya Eita, “My bad princess, if you want me to leave her alone I need a quick favor then.” Otoya had declared.

He grinned, a fake one at that. He shoved his hands in his blazer pockets and leaned against an empty desk from across you. He crossed his legs and looked directly into your eyes. The girl they once were teasing had disappeared to who knows where. What a kind thanks for rescuing her. “Well? Do you accept the favor?” Otoya smiled. Y/n knew she was in a bad position. It was obvious she should have minded her own business, and ignored the scene. Who was going to help her now? You had a clear disadvantage anyone could see, so how did you end up here? “Fine, what is the favor?” You responded. It couldn't have been too hard right? Oh how wrong you were.

You were now in the teachers lounge during break crawling on the floor looking for a black phone with a plant keychain on it. If anyone had caught you the trouble you would be in. His favor was to “retrieve” his phone from the teacher's lounge. Was it really worth it just for them to leave this girl alone? It’s too late for that now. You were already in the phone box digging around looking for Otoya’s phone.

You were silently panicking as you dug around because you knew the bell would ring soon. You didn't want to be tardy on the very first day of school now. As you shuffled around you had caught a glimpse of the green plant, finally you could get out of here. The teachers lounge door creaked open. What now? Y/n was scared to say the least. Not only would she be in major trouble but she would disappoint her parents once more. Would she rather get caught and be in major trouble on the first day of school or hide? Well there was really only one option now wasn't there?

You had quickly ducked and crawled under a teacher's desk and tucked your legs in. Y/n was breathing heavily as she covered her mouth with her hand. Quiet steps could be heard walking around the room. The steps had stopped. Thank goodness they left. You closed your eyes in relief and took your hand off your mouth and let it touch the cold ground. How thankful you were they were gone.

“Boo.” You opened your eyes quickly and flinched back, you saw a certain boy with a dark green stripe. “FUCK! Don't scare me like that. Why are you here? I have your stupid phone.” You had whispered to him while waving the black phone around. “Karasu and Yukimiya had bought some time for you since the teacher started to take roll calls. Come on get off the nasty floor already. I think I saw a rat scurry around here.” He replied while snatching his phone back and flipping it open and quickly typing something.

“Gee thanks for the thank you i guess. Come on let's go already-” You manage to say before getting pulled back under the teachers desk. “What the hell was that for?” There was clear annoyance in your voice when you said that. Otoya did not respond so you had spoken up again “Hello? Are you going to answer me-” You were cut off by Otoya’s hand covering yours. He leaned over and whispered into your ear saying “An actual teacher just came in. Be quiet.”

[jemmo]

the dance of pat and pran: bad buddy through the lens of romeo and juliet the ballet (pt 1 of ??)

ok so apart from being a bad buddy simp, im also kinda a ballet snob. like above musicals and theatre, ballet is my favourite performance art. and so naturally when bad buddy became a thing and it had all these romeo and juliet parallels, i didnt think about the play, i thought about the ballet. bc this ballet is one of my all time favourites, its just so engaging and beautiful and captivating. kenneth macmilan’s choreo manages to say everything the play says without saying a single word. i went to see it be performed live just a couple of weeks before the first bad buddy ep aired. and for ages ive wanted to dive in to some comparisons, but nothing had grabbed me yet. that was until ep 5 and 6. and i wasnt exactly in a coherent place after ep 5, so i think now the time has come. i give you the bad buddy and romeo and juliet ballet analysis, beginning with part 1 of the balcony pas de deux.

part 2

before we dive in, i wanna give just the tiniest bit of context. a pas de deux translates to a dance of two people. and if you’re already looking for parallels, here they are. pat and pran are two dancers, they move and dance around each other, sometimes alone, sometimes with others, but sometimes they manage to come together and have these pas de deux moments. pas de deux’s are some of my favourite parts of ballets. they occur at the heights of emotion, the climaxes. and there is nothing else, nothing external, nothing else on the stage except for those 2 dancers releasing their everything into their performance and each other. and when pat and pran come together in these solitary moments where all external factors fall away, they perform their own pas de deux, and they are beautiful. 

now onto this specific pas de deux, the balcony pas de deux, which is ballets equivalent of the famous ‘romeo romeo where art thou romeo’ scene. already its called the balcony pas de deux and hello... balcony... rooftop... are we seeing the parallels already??? anyway i highly suggest you watch it. here is a performance by the royal ballet on youtube. now you might think bc of the name this reminds me most of the balcony scene, and it does in retrospect in so many ways, but it actually came to mind today during ep 6 when pat and pran are playing in the ocean. bc this pas de deux has such a freedom and playfulness to it. at this point romeo and juliet have met and danced together, but this is their secret meeting, their first real interaction, the moment where everything is released. and that parallels both the ep 5 kiss and ep 6, and here’s why.

(also i will put timestamps for if you want to consult the performance bc i will reference certain parts and movements)

(also disclaimer i am purely a ballet fan, i am by no means a dancer or an expert. im just someone who loves the art form but has very little technical understanding so a lot of this is just feeling and interpretation)

pat providing a safe space for pran to explore his freedom and his feelings

im gonna start with this topic bc its the thought that first came to mind to me, both when watching ep 6 and when first rewatching the pas de deux. throughout this dance, one of my favourite elements is how physically supportive romeo is of juliet. there’s a lot a lot of lifting. but i specifically want to point out two, one starting at 0:15 and one starting at 1:04. 

i adore how in these lifts romeo takes a supportive role, but the way he holds juliet is not restrictive at all, and allows her to be playful. see the free arm and leg in the first lift that can flow about as romeo sways her, and the kicking of the feet in second lift that speaks of a childish playfulness. lifts already require trust, but lifts that allow for this space and freedom require that romeo knows exactly how to handle juliet, exactly how to hold her so she can still express and play. and that’s pat, that’s pat down to a t in the beach ep. 

he knows pran so well, knows exactly what he’s like and how he needs to be handled in this situation so that he will open up. and so he steps into pran’s space just the perfect amount over the line to show his presence but also not come across as a threat. he’s just there, asking pran to talk to him and waiting for a response. and all his actions across the ep, they slowly knock down pran’s walls, they work. pat shows his love and how dedicated he is to it, how sure and insistent he is about it, and it constantly reaffirms to pran that pat is taking this seriously no matter how much he jokes around. and what pat ultimately does is create a safe environment for pran where his walls can safely come down. he gives them privacy and respects his choice to not discuss certain things. 

he begins by acting how he always would, just his natural clingy self, and that softens pran enough that he becomes comfortable enough to start breeching more difficult topics on the beach, like their families and the feelings and debts they have for each other, especially regarding their separation which is a topic that had never been so directly addressed thus far. and this culminates in the bet, where pat gives pran that final push, that final lift by writing kiss in the sand, just making it known that that topic exists out there and its waiting to be discussed. and instead of it frightening pran off so that he reconstructs all his walls, pran gives in, bc he feels safe enough to give in for once. he says the word ‘like’ out loud, acknowledges it as the stage they’re both at even though the words coming out of his mouth are ‘i dont like you’. and instead of trying to push pran into honestly, instead of forcing him to admit something he’s not ready to admit, pat instead provides another safe space. he plays in return, and the safe space of the bet is created. a place where they can openly and freely explore their feelings and manifest them into actions without anything too heavy or set in stone. 

throughout this whole progression of pran, pat is always the one there doing the lifting, providing that safe space for pran to dance and express. and the movement reminds me so much of them playing in the water together. the light and carefree air, the way that pat holds pran without any insinuation of holding on with force. its a hold of support. it says i’m just here to have fun, let you play, and catch you when you fall. i just wanna let you be you, bc that’s when you shine brightest to me. and if pat and pran were dancers, i could imagine pat holding pran above his head, and just watching him with love in his eyes as pran moves above him, bc that’s when he’s his most beautiful. 

(i also see this in the spin at 0:53, in the way romeo holds juliet’s waist and spins her carefully around as she lets her arms and leg move and flow and play with the air. also... we know pat is a waist person so...)

i also just wanted to note that in these lifts i see how the bet will play out, how through this guise of playfulness they are giving an excuse for why they are being close and intimate. the lifts come across as playful but are also the closest the dancers get both physically and on a trust level. similarly in the bet, their actions will have a pretence of playfulness when actually they’re being used to explore intimacy, both physically and emotionally. its a sentiment of wanting to try something big without having to mentally process how big those things are, so through this lens of a bet, these things don’t have to seem so big and scary. after all, they’re just part of a game. 

[mahoushojoe]

41 and 35 for the naruto asks? Also I think you're really cool.

AAAAA thank you so much!!! 🥺🥺🥺 thats super sweet BSBDJSJSJJS

35. favorite character quirk

gotta say that i love rock lee's whole deal, like the eyebrows, the way he talks, his challenges to himself, he's a really fun unique quirky character and it makes him really distinctive

41. rank all the hokage

1. tsunade: she doesnt even Want To Be Here but she still did a better job than all of these bozos. also girlboss and a #WomaninSTEM. extra points for spending years of her life with jiraiya, orochimaru, and fucking HIRUZEN for company and not deleting all of humanity. plus her backstory is really sad in relation to hokagehood. idk. i feel she did well considering how every world ending event ever happened under her watch

2. hashirama: hot himbo. he had good gay intentions with madara but unfortunately could not predict that his brother would be such a fucking cop about it

3. kakashi: similar to the situation with tsunade. props to him for handling the toneri otsutsuki situation with a lot more grace than i would have. 🤡 moments with his genin team and esp sasuke but we can make that minato's fault really

4. naruto: he's ugly now :( but at least he didnt commit genocide or put demons in babies so that makes him higher than everyone else below him. points docked for unleashing boruto on the world and also forgetting to end slavery

5. minato:

fucking stupid. put a fox demon in his infant child. #ItShouldHaveBeenKushina

6. hiruzen

the crustiest fucking old piece of shit. almost every problem, he had a hand in. the joe biden of naruto. acts like he's everyone's grandpa but helps manipulate 13 year old itachi into killing his entire clan, gives naruto the toddler monthly stipends, lets sasuke live in his genocided house, turns the other cheek on the WHOLE hyuga situation bc it benefits him (by sending neji's slave dad to die), let orochimaru create new definitions for war crimes, let jiraiya exist, the whole fucking danzo/root situation, the list goes on, FUCK you.

7. tobirama

the only reason hiruzen isnt at the bottom of this list. what a COP, my god, imagine being so racist your actions cause Every Single Conflict In The Show, -1000/10

this was surprisingly fun 😭😭😭😭😭 thank you for the asks!

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

--

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!

[thefutureduchessmarie]

My thoughts on Buck Begins (and why it was such a letdown to me)

There was a lot to love about this episode (particularly the background it provided on Buck and Maddie), but ultimately it failed to live up to the expectation for me. Here’s why: FOCUSING ON BUCK/MADDIE INSTEAD OF BUCK/CHOSEN FAMILY

So far the season did a great job in showing exactly how and why Buck grew up with so many abandonment issues and feeling like he wasn’t enough. But the issues didn’t come from Maddie. Sure, he was hurt when she moved away, but that had already been mostly dealt with. And of course discovering she lied to him his whole life was hard, but I feel like given their current relationship Buck would always forgive her for that, he just needed time to process it. What I really needed from this episode was for Buck to realize/accept that he’d already found the family he’s been looking for his whole life. 

The idea that he 118 are each other’s chosen family is one of the central themes of the show, and I needed that energy now, more than ever. All I wanted was to see them doing everything they could to save Buck, not because it’s their job, but because they love him. And they did - each one of them walked into that building, knowing they could very well die. We just didn’t get to see that because the show failed to realize that should have been the climax all along. 

Was there seriously no one who could tell him that he doesn’t have to save every single person on the planet in order to be worthy? That he’s enough on his own? Because that’s the reason why he keeps putting himself in life-threatening situations to begin with. And instead of helping him realize that, they praised him for it and told him that’s why they love him so much, reinforcing his belief that he needs to be out there saving people in order to earn the right to be loved.

BOBBY 

The father/son relationship between him and Buck has been an important part of the show since season 1. So when it was revealed that Buck Begins would address Buck’s complicated relationship with his parents and culminate with him being stuck in a fire - a situation that mimics the way Bobby’s children died, it felt like everything was lining up for this dynamic to be the heart of the episode. It seemed to offer the perfect opportunity for both of them to make peace with their past (Bobby couldn’t save his children, but he could save Buck; and Buck could get closure from his parents and fully accept Bobby as the only parents figure he needs in his life). The crossover only seemed to confirm that. 

By ignoring that, and not showing any special focus on Bobby, they didn’t just waste the opportunity to tell a beautiful and meaningful story. They completely disrespected Bobby as a character. Because you look me in the eye, and tell me that seeing someone he recognizes as a his kid, someone he loves and feels responsible for stuck in a building on fire wouldn’t be triggering as fuck to Captain Nash! The show can’t just ignore the single most traumatizing event of his life simply because they don’t know how to address more than one relationship (Buck/Maddie) in one episode.   

EDDIE 

If there’s one thing I hate in television, it’s fan service. Its always painfully obvious when a show is doing something not because they believe in it,  but because the fans want it. However, right now 911 is doing a sort of anti-fan-service that is just as terrible. Basically, they created a “Buddie monster” that doesn’t seem to have been planned and now they have no idea how to handle it. It was so clear that they were going out of their way to avoid any Buddie moments in this episode, that they ended up throwing Eddie’s characterization and the beautiful friendship they wrote for him and Buck out of the window. 

The Eddie I’ve been seeing for 3 seasons now would be the first to rush into that building after Buck, even before he got any confirmation or authorization from anyone. Instead, they turned him into this ice cold person right when Buck was feeling so unloved and abandoned. They don’t want to make Buddie as a couple? Fine. I can live with that. But please don’t disrespect the amazing friendship that has been canonically written. If they don’t think they can show us Eddie caring and worrying about his best friend without making it romantic, then it means they’re not doing they’re job well.

They also inadvertently created a power imbalance between those two that literally no one asked for. Because now, if you compare how each of them reacted to the other being stuck in a life risking situation, it comes across as Buck caring way more than Eddie. Which I don’t think it’s true, but alas…. Its there now, and it reinforces Buck’s feelings of never being enough. 

(And yes, I’m already taking into account their different personalities. I never expected Eddie to panic in the way Buck did in Eddie Begins. But I was expecting him to freak out in his own Eddie way, which he didnt. At all. Despite the show repeatedly showing us how important Buck is in his life and how much he unravels without him)

The cheap queer baiting (“I feel like he’s working his way through the village people”? They were purposely showing past-Buck in queer stereotypes and they know it. And Im really getting tired of them not putting their money where their mouth is) v them going out of their way to make sure there were no meaningful interactions between Buck and the man people ship him with 

PLAIN-ASS INCONSISTENCIES OR WEAK TV :/

First thing Bobby told them when they got to the scene was that they couldn’t separate from the team. They’re all trained professionals, fully aware of how risky the situation was. They’re also aware that Buck is the most reckless member of the team on a normal day, and that day he was dealing with some particularly difficult shit. So why the hell did no one stop him when he tried to separate from the team? If you wanna convince yourself the 118 suck and don’t love Buck, fine, but I know its not true. So Hen and Chim letting Buck go just feels out of character to me. Something the writers did, not because it made sense, but because they needed to have him alone and couldn’t come up with a better plan.

Now compare that to Eddie Begins, for example, a Begin episode that followed a very similar structure. Eddie being stuck didn’t feel forced, because the situation was properly explained and contextualized.  Everything made perfect sense given their line of work, the team dynamics and protocol. It felt like the natural consequences of a very risky job. It also made sense that Eddie Begins focused so much on Eddie/Christopher and climaxed with him fighting like hell to return to his son, because that’s Eddie’s struggle - feeling like he failed as a parent.

Buck’s struggle is feeling like he was always the one left behind. The one people didn’t love enough, because he it made it hard to. So by not focusing on his relationship with his chosen family, all we’re left with is “Buck and Maddie against the world”. Which is not where any of those characters deserve to be and ignores all the progress that has been made for 4 seasons. 

By focusing so much on this one relationship, they also turned this into “Buck and Maddie Begins”, instead of Buck Begins. THEY COULDN’T EVEN FOCUS ON BUCK IN HIS OWN EPISODE. Tell me how is this supposed to help resolve his insecurities?  

I did love all the flashbacks and the moments between the siblings tho. And I cried reals tears when Maddie pulled out her own version of Buck’s box. I guess I’ll just have to rely on fanfiction and headcanons to fill all the voids mentioned above 

[aal-archaeology]

Summary of my first term of my Ph.D. at Stanford during a global pandemic and an extremely controversial election year (Anthropology, yr. 1, she/they, 25y/o) with some toggl data analysis

Well this year was a doozy if I don’t say so myself. But we survived it, and its okay if that’s all you were able to do this year because that’s enough.  As an offical 18th grader, I feel like I can speak pretty well to the toxicity of the academic environment. There is always a pressure to be working all of the time, people compete with each other with how few hours of sleep they got, every conversation with fellow students is just listing off all of the different assignemnts you have to do by the end of the week. On top of all of this, this is 2020. So, I decided that this year I’m going to give myself some mental slack. 

I decided that this is the year that I’m not going to try to impress anyone. I’m just going to survive and do what I have to do to move onto the next term. I think I did a pretty good job at that for the first term, so I’ll share a bit about what I observed in myself and those in my cohort. Coming into term one having to choose classes, many of my peers were packing their schedules full of 5 Unit seminars. For those who don’t know, theoretically, a 5 Unit course is supposed to take about 5-6 hours of work outside of class hours. For Stanford Anthropology, most PhD students take as close as they can to 18 credits, and anything over that you have to pay extra for the courses. Taking more courses doesn’t really put you any further ahead in terms of completing your degree, and you’re expected to complete about 45 Units each year for the first two years of the program. 

I decided to take 2 seminars (typical), a language course, and a couple filler credits that we are given the option to use if we need 1-3 units to hit 18 total. I,  fortunately, tracked every hour spent outside of the classroom working on each course using toggl (i highly reccomend): 

In a typical week, I spent about 5-6 hours/week outside of class on my Anthro seminars, and about 6-7 hours on Japanese. Japanese was a “for-fun” class so I would usually study more of that when I didn’t feel like reading dense archaeological theory. 

Toggl was a really cool way to see where I was spending too much, or not enough, time on my classwork. If it was taking me more than 1.5 hours to get through a single article, I knew I was probably spending too much time on it and should move on to the next thing. My goal for the term was to stay true to the 5 Unit idea of 5-6 hours, and not over-work myself. 

Toggl was also useful in tracking my mental health throughout the term, as it is very obvious to see when I just was not physically capable of ingesting 400 pages of reading. For example, election week:

Election week was really hard for me, and everyone else in the world honestly. I had various family things I was dealing with, typical existential dread, plus it was week 8-ish of the term when everything was already on fire in terms of workload. For one of my seminars (purple), we had to read a book for the following week which I was able to do the sundar after election day. However, for the days leading up to and surrounding the 4th, the only thing I could mentally handle was mindless Japanese vocab studying. One of my seminars really sufferend this week, and I straight up just didnt show up to the smaller Anth 310G class because I had only read the title of the pdf. Fortunately, I emailed my professor of my Theory class and was like “yo dude I cannot” and he replied that he understood and wouldnt call on me during that day of class. 

I didn’t do a whole lot of journalling at all this term, but for this week I just wrote “pain” on most days and then YAY BIDEN at the end of it. 

Weekly Schedule

Above is what a typical week looked like, some were a lot lot lot more dense, others not so much, but this was pretty average. Not all things on the calendar are work related, some are extra lectures from visiting professors that sounded interesting, or “Free Boba & Snacks Pick Up” put on by my residence. Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday were my big work days last term, where I didn’t have a whole lot of classes so I would do most of my reading then. On Tues and Thurs I had one 3-hour seminar, and M-F I had a 50 min Japanese class. 

I woke up every day around 7am-ish, made a green tea, and sat at the computer to work, filter through emails, etc. On particularily open days I would go grocery shopping, go for bike rides/walks around campus, go buy food/boba. 

On class-heavy days, I wouldn’t leave my computer for 8-12 hours, which is extremely ridiculous but that’s the new norm in school in 2020. This kind of stunk because all of the socializing was also on the computer, so even if I wasn’t working I was doing screen related things. 

EVERY day I stopped working at 6pm. Rarely did I do readings past 6pm unless I was really slacking somewhere. From 6pm onwards I would do things like play Among Us or League of Legends with my discord friends, eat, watch movies with my partner, etc. And then most nights I would try to be in bed by 12am at the latest. 

Social Life

Despite the online nature of things this term, I was suprisingly able to meet a lot of great people on campus. We were all being tested at least once a week, which made in person gatherings with 1-4 people a little less scary, especially when half of the people lived together in one household. 

In the first week of school, some of the grad programs put on a “speed friending” zoom event, where I was able to connect with two people really well. We ended up doing a “slow-friending” zoom event afterwards and then created a FB group chat and added all of the people we had met into it. The group ended up being about 15 people, and we would message the group for park hangouts, going to get food, or going on walks on campus. We also had a huge get together in a park for Mid-Autumn Festival, where we sat in a socially distanced circle, chatted, and ate mooncakes. 

Most of my socializing came from my online friends, and amongus was a huge savior to my mental health this term wher emy group would play literally every night. I also made a really good friend off of Bumble BFF this term, who I’ve hung out with a good amount for plant shopping and board games. 

I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can get tested for COVID on a days notice, and very grateful that I could use that to stay a little sane.  My Biggest Accomplishment this term, was not school related. but instead I hit my 365 DAY STREAK on duolingo. This was celebrated with cake. This streak has lived through literal hell and for that I am very proud. 

Overall reflection:

This term was super rough, there were a lot of days where I just napped through it and a lot of days where I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. However, I think the courseload that I took was very manageable and I’m going to continue to go light on myself in that regard. 

I really liked the boundaries that I set for myself this term, not working after 6pm and making time to do some fun things in the midst of chaos. I never felt like I was too far behind on work, or that I wasn’t doing enough, because I had a literal reminder in front of me that I had already put x amount of hours into something with toggl. 

Sometimes in class I would feel like I didn’t know how to productively contribute to conversation, but I think thats a skill that will get better over time and not being so great at it should especially be expected in the first term of a program.

Socially I met a lot of wonderful people who also made me feel more comfortable will myself. I started using She/They pronouns which feel really comforting to me. I made a lot of little origami cranes every time I was feeling sad. I drank a lot of boba. Watched a lot of She Ra. Played a lot of games. It all ended up being okay despite the weight of everything around me. 

I’m proud of all of you for making it through this year, I know it was really difficult for a lot of people in more ways than it was for me, but we’re still here! Sometimes all you can do it make it to the next day and thats such a big accomplishment on its own.  Please feel free to reach out with any questions about time-management, toggl, phd stuff in general, archaeology, etc! Always happy to help out. :’) Thanks for reading! Lyss

[words-for-holland]

Happier (9) | T.H

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N & Tom seem to be in the process of rebuilding their relationship. Natalie is up to no good. How much more can Y/N & Tom take?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Masterlist

A/N: Ive been reading all your responses lately and I appreciate them so much! Im so glad you’re all still on this crazy dramatic ride! Thank you so much for reading and supporting!

Spontaneity

There are certain moments in your life where things go according to plan, and others when they dont...but those are the best kinds. The moments that happen because it feels right and everything just falls into place. After all, everything happens for a reason.

It had been three weeks since Tom and Y/N had their heart to heart, promising to find Unknown together along with Harrison and Harry. While there were no threats taking place, one could never be too careful. The more they waited, the more vulnerable they became, letting down their guard ever so slightly.

Everyone kept a close eye on Natalie, but she convinced them enough to think she was on their side and the PR had nothing to do with Unknown. Show the boys one made up threat message from Unknown and you gained most of their trust. Tom had asked Natalie to stop the PR for the sake of mending his broken relationship with Y/N. She told him that her and her publicist agreed to put it on hold...but kept no promise of stopping it forever.

Natalie’s mother was getting furious, not happy with how her daughter handled the situation. “I told you to keep Y/N away, you insolent girl. You are ruining everything and your chance with Tom.”, she spat through the phone.

Natalie listened to her mother’s rant, rolling her eyes. “Relax mother.” She says sourily. “This is just the beginning. Y/N wont know what hit her and after this...She’s going to wish she never came back to London.” She hangs up the phone smirking as she goes through fan accounts that continued to spark the PR flame.

Meanwhile as the three weeks passed Tom & Y/N had slowly rebuilt their relationship. Occasional glances and banters left their tongue, subtle compliments were thrown out, and it almost seemed as if things would be back just the way they were. Even more so, one day in the kitchen. Y/N was making dinner the for the group as she took the time to cut the asparagus and broccoli. Tom passed by her, as he saw her lose herself in the soft music playing in the background, singing to herself all while still being focused on the food.

He leaned against the doorway and continued to observe her, admiring how cute she looked with her hair up and how sweet her voice sounded with the music. It almost made him think why she didn’t pursue a career in music instead of business. “Wow.” Tom muttered under his breath.

His voice must have been too loud, since Y/N looked up startled, but all the more happy to see the man she once loved..and still does deep down. “Oh..I didn’t see you there.” She giggles. “Don’t worry I’ll stop singing in the kitchen. I know how you guys are when I get into it.”

Tom quickly shook his head as he came closer to her, smiling back. “No. You don’t have to. I think your voice sounds lovely. I mean the kitchen’s got great acoustics.” He laughs nervously. Tom can’t remember the last time he felt so nervous with her, but in the good type of nervous. The type of feeling, one gets when they’re in front of their crush and all the butterlies in their stomach start fluttering. “You just sound and look so beautiful.” He admits, sheepishly.

“Thomas Stanley Holland are you trying to flirt with me?” She asks amused at his attempt pointing the knife at him from a safe distance.

“Am not.” He dramatically answers. “I can’t compliment a friend, who happens to be really beautiful.” Y/N shies away hiding her face, by looking down at the cutting board. “I mean it. I really do think you’re beautiful, even if you dont think like that.”

“Well..I’m definitely no model or Natalie, since the people say you both are London’s to die for couple.” She says bitterly.

Tom rolls his eyes as he takes her hand. “Hey..I told you we stopped it for now and Natalie agreed. You know, I get that we all have our suspicions of her after everything, but she said and proved she was a victim herself. Plus Unknown’s been quiet for the past three weeks.” Y/N scoffs at his defense for Natalie as she heads to the stove with Tom following right behind her. He taps on her should as she reluctantly turns to look at him. “I am only ever going to have feelings for you.” Tom confesses. In this moment their faces are inches apart, eyes are slowing moving down to their lips and back up to their eyes, breaths slowing, and just when it seemed like everything would fall into place, both quickly turn away clearing their throats

Y/N calms her heartbeat as she stirs the pasta while Tom helps stir the sauce. The room was quiet only the sound of bubbling from the pots filling the room. It only took five seconds before they both turned back to each other quickly connecting their lips. The fever and the passion increasing rapidly with every touch and pull. The warmth coming from their breaths and the tingling feeling everytime their lips touched. It was like coming back from an addicition you had quit for so long but craved every single time. They couldn’t stop no matter how wrong this was right now, but it felt so right so spontaneous, so in the moment.

Tom quickly signaled her to jump and did as she told, wrapping her legs around his toned torso, cupping her hands under his jaw. He pushed her back against the kitchen wall, as he slow let on of his hands linger under her shirt. It may have been months apart, but both knew exactly what the other needed and how to handle it. Almost as if it were instinctive. They were in complete bliss, forgetting the world around them. Until, the pasta water started overflowing on the stove.

Y/N opened her eyes and quickly pushed Tom away. “Shit. The food.” She yells out, jumping from Tom’s embrace. Both of them tried to calm their heart rate and Tom stood their watching Y/N, smiling at what had just happened. For once he had his girl back, and everything felt normal. Y/N looks at him, giggling. “What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” He replies, grinning like a little boy. “I’ve waited to do that for so long.”

Y/N blushes at his statement, as she sets up the table with the food. “Come on. It’s time to eat.”

Life seemed surreal after her encounter with Tom. Y/N told herself that it was a one time thing until they found Unknown. She didnt want to put anyone at risk especially both her’s and Tom’s heart. But everytime she told herself, the more she got lost in Tom. Every stolen moment, stolen kisses, stolen touch...he always had a way of making her forget. So while she vowed to herself that it would stop, her heart simply couldn’t. Tom was right, there was no PR, no text messages, no insane fan account rumor. Natalie hadn’t even bothered either of them, always focused on her own thing, and truthfully seemed a lot nicer when she came forth about being a victim of Unknown. The questions came to Y/N’s mind. Why should she have to live in fear? Why not just live in the moment?

It was a slow night. Harrison had spent the weekend at his mother’s while Harry did the same. Tom and Y/N were the only ones that roamed aroundthe house. While Natalie spent her time contemplating everything. Her initial plan to crush Y/N when she least expected was approaching ever so quickly after all the time it took to set up. Within that time, she had gotten to know Y/N and Tom even more so a part from the hatred and the jealousy. For a second...just a second, she considered not to follow through. But her mother’s words and the thought of losing her chances with Tom overtook her the moment she saw the two fall in love all over again. Her suspicions only became worse when she recirved a text from her mother.

Unknown

Just remember, your acting career and your dreams depend on Tom. If you want Tom to choose you, you better get rid of the girl stealing your chances.

Filled with worry, Natalie quickly grabbed her things and made her way out the door.

Meanwhile, Tom and Y/N continued to spend time in each others arms everywhere they went in the house. They settled on the couch, Tom’s stong hands wrapping around her torso as Y/N curled herself into Tom. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” She whispers to him.

Tom hums at the idea, smiling wide. “Me too.” He brings her soft lips to his, letting them linger for a couple seconds more. “Do you really enjoy staying in the guest room?” Tom asks.

Y/N looks up at him, with curious eyes. “I mean yeah it’s okay. Why?”

Tom takes a deep breath before asking, “Well...I was uh wondering, if you didn’t like it as much there, you could..maybe stay with me...again.” He suggested muttering the last word. Tom smiled nervously, as he observes Y/N’s emotions. She was calm like the sea before a storm.

Y/N smiles at his offer, but shakes her head. “Mmm..it’s okay. Im fine where I am, but thank you for the generous offer.” She responds, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah...I guess I should have seen that coming.” Tom admits, his face showing signs of disappointment.

Y/N pouts her lips, and lifts her small hand to move a piece of his hair. “Hey..believe me. I want to but nows the not the time..at least not yet. One day, I promise.” She whispers leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. “C’mon we got another day tomorrow. I’m gonna head into my room for a bit.”

“I’ll come up later just wanna make a call to Harrison.” Tom replies. Y/N looks at him and smiles as she nods and heads back up to her room.

As the night came to an end, Y/N took the time to unwind with a book in hand when her phone went off. Her face dropped when she saw the messages.

Pictures of Natalie out and about wearing Tom’s clothes and jewlery, smiling into the sun and enjoying her day out with friends. Gossips left and right from fans and media, talking about how adorable it was that Natalie was the type of girlfriend to steal her boyfriends clothes because it looks cuter on her. Y/N knew deep down it wasn’t true but the words and pictures taunted her. Slowly and surely, she started to get mad, furious that Natalie would start the flame again out of nowhere when she promised Tom they would stopped. Another message popped up for Y/N, and it was from someone she so willingly prayed it wouldnt be who she thought.

Unknown

Doesn’t she look cute in his clothes. Probably better than you ever could. BTW..where is lover boy? 😉

Y/N throws her phone against the wall, pissed more than ever. She should have known this was going to happen. Y/N contemplated the message, she wondered what the text meant. After all Unknown seeemed to know more about everyone here better than they knew themselves. Y/N slowly went downstairs only to hear whispering coming from the kitchen. She couldn’t make out the exact words but she could identify the voice. It was Tom and Natalie? She took a peak at the kitchen where the two stood facing each other. Y/N couldn’t make out Tom’s face but she could see Natalie’s very clearly. “Kiss me.” Natalie whispers, as she quickly places her lips on Tom’s cradling his neck, but Tom didn’t stop. The moment his eyes opened up to see Y/N’s he pushed Natalie off with all his might.

Y/N standing there in shock and sadness. Her eyes tearing up, her breaths shortening. She shakes her head, as she replays the disturbing image in her mind. “Y/N... it’s not what it looks like.” Tom quickly defends, trying to reach for Y/N as she steps back. Natalie observing the two, a slight smirk forming across her face. “I swear it was for the PR and movie.” He yells out, trying to chase her.

Y/N whips back as she faces Tom, the angriest she has ever been with him. “Who are you putting a show for in this house? Me? Because I sure as hell didn’t fucking like it one bit. I should have known better.” She spits out, heading up the stairs with Tom following.

“Y/N..please. It didn’t mean anything. I swear. I was put in a compromising position. Please listen to me.” Tom pleads. The door to her room is shut locked, but he stays there waiting and knocking at the door. “Y/N. Don’t do this. Dont walk away. Please just let me explain. You know what we have is special and the moment at the kitchen and everything this past month...”

“Was ruined and a complete and utter mistake. Leave me alone and I swear Tom you even try to get near me I will make sure you never see the light of day. I should have fucking stayed back.” Y/N yells out, sobbing against the door. It was a nightmare, and this time she couldn’t get out. She sat there now realizing, her heart had broken completely for the second time.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager @panicattheeverywherekid @oswinO5 @jillanaholland

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌

[matoitech]

my hcs for galo and lios families like pre prmr in early childhood (or beyond, depending) r mostly vague but generally i go w single moms for like, every parent hc for things so heres some Brain Canons Ideas

galos family was his mom and grandfather, dads out of the picture we dont talk abt him. his mom looks a lot like him like she definitely has a mohawk and muscles also shes bisexual bc i think it would be cool of her. moms side of the families japanese and his grandfather may have been either a firefighter or historian cuz i like to think galo got the interest from somewhere and inferno kind of implies it anyway

two hcs for lios mom!

FIRST HC is that he was raised by his bio mom who was the mad burnish boss of like the biggest and most powerful mad burnish group, cuz i imagine there were probably multiple who went by the name each w slightly dif goals and ideologies. she has super powerful fire and a very dramatic taste in clothes

she was around for the great world blaze and prob had a traumatic burnish awakening like almost everyone on the planet and joined mad burnish p much right away; mad burnish was more easily locatable then; not rly in hiding quite yet bc it was before the real shit started to hit the fan. was good at what she did so she took charge fast

she didnt rly expect 2 have a kid and decided well maybe he’ll succeed me as the boss or something so at least got him ready best she could to lead or be in charge of something(and lio figured shit out on his own in a ‘ways i DONT want to be like my mother’ way) lio was always the Bosses Son there was little community involvement in his childhood cuz the boss is a little scary.. dont wanna get on her bad side.. besides like, babysitting sometimes for missions (i clarify cuz the 2nd hc does involve more joint raising of a kid)

also shes still alive during and after promare but they dont keep in touch lio ditched cuz he does not get along w her and they had a ‘difference in opinion’ in lios words but it was probably like Big Issues like idk maybe abt the burnish dont kill thing lio has going, or just general disagreement abt the way she was handling leading. i dont imagine they ever rly got along well. lio has conflicting feelings abt her. she wasnt a great parent. i cant say she tried her best but she sure was there i guess

i guess lio happened to be at the right place at the right time to save the world and also just b Around promepolis so he was referred to as the most powerful burnish but his mom is out there.. somewhere..

she looks like lalaco godspeed but blonde in leather and with more clothes but she has a cape bc she thinks they look cool. and shes right. also if she was in promare 2 she’d probably be the antagonist. shes not evil like the promare 1 villain or smth she just seems like she’d b a fun villain and give lio Parental Drama. sucks for him but good for tv

SECOND HC is that lio had some sort of separation from his bio parents after he turned burnish that he doesnt talk about and either found himself or was found by and basically adopted by the boss of one of the mad burnish groups, so yet another single mom except this ones more chill and nicer. to him anyway. she is not chill internally. shes more leniant on the burnish dont kill thing than lio will b later on in his life, since she has killed and will again if necessary but makes more of an effort to not be as blatant about it in front of the kids as lio mom #1

more community raising going on in this since various other members of the mad burnish of his moms girlfriends would help take care of him n raise him. lio learned a lot from them. he sure liked these ppl more than his bio parents. idk it was a shit situation for everyone bc theyre like, on the run, and scapegoated by everyone and the government, but they tried to feign making the best of it for lio when he was younger. lios mom gave it to him straight tho but in like a way u would respect from a parent. she has seen some shit unfortunately, also does not believe shes a good person bc of the shit shes had to do but shes doing the best she can w what shes got. 

im projecting wanting a good parent onto her can u tell

shes no longer alive by the time of promare, idk when she was killed or died (prob killed tbh). lio was obviously rly fucked up over this but was like no no emotions bc hes had to deal w a lot of rly horrible shit before and left the group a short while after that and kinda wandered and did shit on his own for a while, helped ppl out when he could. made up his mind and went to find the mad burnish near promepolis where a lot of the biggest issues were located and where freeze force came from. depending on where u think promepolis is located this either took a while or was fast

im tired these r just some ideas ive tossed around when entertaining backstories n they r not all of them. by far. a lot of its inspired by other ppls ideas which is why u have more extensive lio parent hcs, cuz ppl talk abt his backstory ideas more.

[dirt-grub]

1, 5, 11 and 23!

1 - How did you choose your name?

THIS IS A COOL STORY OKAY because i actually don’t have a deadname for my first name!!! Connor is my middle name! So Aiden is actually my bio first name (spelled in a girly way tho so i just go by like Aid) BUT I had a dead middle name that began with C, and for a long time i couldnt decide what to change it to, but i knew i wanted to keep the C initial. I have a little half brother who i care a lot about, and since we dont have the same last name i thought hey! his middle name is Connor, my middle name is a C... we can have a name in common! its funny like, when i made my tumblr a little over a year ago i didnt expect to make friends i just sorta wanted to reblog for an aesthetic account and stay on the down low, so i put Connor as the name to test it out and see if i liked it, and it stuck really well! Of course I do like going by either name otherwise I wouldn’t have been known by Connor to you all still XD

5 - What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

This one is really hard for me to pin down, because I was one of those kids that always sort of “knew” to a capacity- I hate being like grouped in with my sister/female cousins, i didnt like “girly” things, whenever we would play pretend my character was male, stuff like that. i sorta was always a boy in my head, in a strange way? like id always be happy until i was reminded i WAS a girl, which apparently had to be done for me to realize. i have plenty of memories being with family friends and outlining the character i was making for myself and having them interrupt and say wait, you wanna be a BOY? youre not a boy! and having my day just be ruined in a way i didnt have the vocabulary yet to describe

11 - What are your experiences with binding or wearing breast forms?

I have binded in REAL UNSAFE WAYS! DONT DO ANY OF THIS SHIT!

I started pretty much the second it was decided i had too much tit and needed to wear a bra now 24/7, so like around 12. I had these shitty training bras that didnt really fit me, and id wear a ton of them over each other every single day. like, there was a time where i was layering four or five of them, which probably didnt even help compress, but i felt like i NEEDED to or id just like die

i got my first binder uh maybe freshman year of high school? i REALLY tried to go stealth when i entered hs but i just didnt have the resources to. basically i had a long time bf through hs (t4t) and he got a binder first, and id borrow it whenever i could. we were about the same size so i got his hand me down when he got his second, and then once we had more money going forward we got our own. Since then i bind regularly with like a real one that fits me (altho not as much in quarantine bc i mean i dont leave the house)

23 - What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

I’m not sure i can say the real one here bc its sorta really bad lol but id guess being stuck in a situation with transphobic people like consistently? like i can handle getting into a fight a stranger i’ll never see again in the bathroom, but if i had to live somewhere with transphobic people being shitty to me every day i would go absolutely insane. Like its hard to explain specifically, but if i was around cis guys who were like uwu soft trans dude thats so hot or cis women who think im just an oppressed woman who needs to embrace my womanhood id go postal 

[neo-culture-mafia]

She’s Mine (l.ty)

Requested: Yes

Warnings: |Cuteness|    |Some Swearing|

Songs Listened to While Writing: She’s Mine by VAV (SONG IS A BOP [another group who shouldn’t be slept on]) Her by Block B

I made a bunch of scenarios to make up for me killing people in my writing...so sorry...again. But I hope you enjoy!!💚

~J

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You got ready to go out with all the rest of the girlfriends from the unit. Taeyong had gone to an important business meeting with the rest of the 127 unit, so he was gone for at least another day. You were taking your small window of freedom and you were running with it.

Your makeup, hair, and outfit were perfect for the feeling of a night time club. You twirled yourself down the hall in your favorite pair of heels; the clanking sound echoing on the marble floor. You twirled a final time, putting your hand on the front door handle, so close to freedom.

"Where is my princess going so late at night?" You heard from behind you. Your shoulders instantly fell as you leaned your head on the wooden door. You softly banged your head against the door in order to wake yourself up from this 'nightmare'. Yet, a hand was met in between your forehead and the door. "Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself, honey." He said and you whined.

"I wanted to go out with the girls." You said motioning to the door. "But I'm home early and wanted to spend a night in with you." He said grabbing your waist and pulling you closer, using his big pouty eyes to lure you into his loving trap.

"And plus," he began trailing a finger down your neck and across your exposed collar bone. "I should be the only one to see you in this type of outfit."

-----------

You danced around the kitchen in one of Taeyong's hoodies he left for you to wear; always freshly sprayed with his cologne.

He came home early from a mission, so you sent him to take a nap while you cooked a nice hearty dinner for the both of you to share together. The music blasted in the kitchen so only you could rock out and not disturb your sleepy husband.

Yet, your fooling around left you with a burnt hand; you had completely missed the pans handle and touched the hot iron of the pan itself. Your yelp broke through the music as you clutched the hand to your chest.

In less than 10 seconds, you were in the arms of Taeyong who had woken himself up from your whimper of distress.

"Let me see." He gently grabbed your hand. You whimpered at the lightest touch. "Here, let's run it under cold water." He said picking you up with one arm and setting you on the cold marble counter next to the sink.

He had to gently pry your hand away from your chest. He turned on the water, and slowly brought your hand under the stream. You yelped again, your hand retracting to your chest as your body turned so you were fully on the counter. Your legs were folded like a 5 year old as silent tears welled into your eyes.

The water was shut off. "Awe my baby." He said grabbing the back of your knees and pulling you to the edge of the counter. He situated himself between your legs and rubbed your arm and thigh soothingly. "Awe don't cry baby girl." He whined along with you, his thumb coming up to wipe your already fallen tears away.

"We have to wash it off, baby." He said and you sighed, knowing it had to be done now rather than later.

Your hand was now independently hovered under the non-running faucet. You squeezed your eyes shut and looked the other way. "I'm ready." You said and you heard him chuckle. "You're too cute." He said lightly pinching your cheek.

He held your hand away from the faucet as he set the temperature. "What are you making for dinner, baby?" He asked and you though for a moment. "Chicken...and vegetables...and noodles...and-" "Done." You heard him say.

You looked to him quickly where he held your soaking wet hand. "Already?" You asked in shock. He patted your hand dry. "Yep." He spoke before kissing your palm sweetly.

He grabbed your waist and pulled you down gently. He leaned against the counter and ran a hand through his hair. "Now go relax while I finish dinner." He said holding your hip loosely. You pouted, pointing to the food you were making. "But-" "No 'buts'...go relax and I'll tell you when you need to wash up because dinner is almost ready. I don't want you getting burned anymore." He said letting go of your waist and putting his hands behind him on the counter.

You opened your mouth to fight against him, but his cocked eyebrow made you rethink. He was ready to fight against anything you had to say. Once you realised this, you shut your mouth quickly.

You sighed and turned away to go out of the kitchen. "You're forgetting something, little lady." He said and you turned back around, stomping over. You leaned up and pecked his lips before running out of the kitchen and into the living room.

-----------

You were with Taeyong at one of the usual business parties he had with other groups in the area.

He was surrounded with men he held close to him, and you were with other women of the business.

Taeyong always told you to stay with 2 other people he trusted, or stay within his eye sight. You agreed, knowing you could never win against his wanting of protection for you.

So when the 2 girls you were with had to leave with their husbands, it was time for you to start heading back to Taeyong.

He didnt even falter when he felt your presence next to him, if anything it looked as if he relaxed even more. His hand instinctively found your waist and his hand gripped lightly. "Men, I'd like you to meet my beautiful wife, y/n." He introduced you. You bowed politely and sweetly. "Wow. You are so well mannered compared to other women of the business." One of the men said and the others hummed in agreement.

"Well one thing me and my wife model to our members -- of all ages, is respect. We would go no where without it." Taeyong said and you nodded, ultimately agreeing with him.

After a few minutes of the men talking, you were thirsty. You tugged on Taeyong's suit jacket lightly. "I'm thirsty. I'm going to go get a drink." You whispered in his ear once he leaned down a little for you to speak quietly.

"Okay, just make sure to stay where I can see you." He said and you nodded. He kissed your cheek softly and you were off to the bar to get a water; not wanting the burning of alcohol in your throat tonight.

You called the bartender over. "One water please." You asked and he nodded, going to the end of the bar for the water.

You scroll through your phone, messaging some of your friends what you had been up to lately. The man returned with a glass of water. You picked it up and was about to take a sip, before the cup was in the hand of your husband.

"Why don't you drink it?" Taeyong asked, his death stare coming out towards the man. He made sure you never saw this side of him, for the fear of scaring you...and it did scare you.

Taeyong's hand found yours under the bar, where he put you behind him a little bit. "...uh..." the man stopped at your husband's request. "What did you put in her drink?" He asked and you finally understood what was going on.

"N-nothing. How dare you accuse me of doing such a thing!" The man yelled, getting everyone's attention in the gala room.

"...then drink..." Taeyong cocked his eyebrow at the man.

The man just looked down to the ground. "I can't do that." The man spoke softly. Like lightning both Taeyong and the man pulled out guns toward each other, causing the rest of Neo Culture to run to their leaders side.

Taeyong still held your hand tightly. "You mess with her...you mess with us...you mess with me." Tae seethed and it was shocking to see this new side to him. You knew he cared...just never this much.

"Mark, Hyuck. Take y/n home and make sure she is alright and not hurt anywhere." "Got it, boss." They both rushed to your side, ushering you out of the gala where people stood shocked at the stand off.

---------

You walked around the house, reading a book while making twists and turns through the hallways. Yet, you missed the corner and stubbed your pinky toe on the corner of the turn.

You dropped your book and held your foot. Taeyong's office door opened and he rushed out, reading glasses still on. "You okay?" He asked holding you steady on one foot. "Y-yeah. Just...stubbed my toe is all." You waved him off.

"Awe my poor clumsy baby." He said helping you stand on your uninjured foot. "Hey!" You turned quickly and ended up landing on your butt like a 3 year old, both legs outstretched infront of you. "As I said..." He trailed off, picking you up in his arms. He walked across the house to the bedroom and threw you on the bed softly.

"It's 1 pm...take a nap so you can't hurself you big baby." He kissed your forehead. "...im not a baby..." You pouted. He started walking out, "Yeah whatever you say...baby." He mumbled. You groaned but decided a nap wouldn't be the worst.

~~~~~

You woke up, the pain in your small toe minimized to a dull ache. You got up, rubbing your eyes and seeing it was 4:30. You got up and slipped on one of Tae's hoodies that was laying on the arm chair in the room.

You opened the door and walked down the hall to be met with a chaos. EVERY SINGLE CORNER IN YOUR HOME WAS BUBBLE WRAPPED.

"Taeyong!" You yelled, walking down to his office. You didn't bother knocking and walked straight in.

"You basically baby proofed the whole entire house?!" You screamed and he had a smirk on his face. "Yeah...so you can't get hurt anymore." He said as if it was no big deal. You just sat there, with your mouth hanging wide open at your husband.

"Now go drink some water before you get too worked up."

-----------

You walked down the long hallways of the base to the main meeting room where a huge meeting was being held. Tae had you run and get an important document in his office as the meeting carried on.

You were dressed how you usually were for the office days where you worked on base - skirt, dress shirt, and heels ( basically what everyone else wore ).

But you always got more attention than the other women. You were gifted with a beautiful body ( A/N: guys...everyone is beautiful, and everyone has an amazing body ) and other men who didn't come around often kind of forgot who you were here for in the first place.

You walked into the meeting room, a person from finances was talking in the front of the room. You snuck over to Taeyong at the head of the table and put the file infront of him. "Here you go." You smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Mrs. Lee." He smiled and read the documents.

"Could you go make a copy of this listed document?" He asked quietly, pointing to a list. You bent over a little to get a better view. "Which one?" You asked, and he pointed it out again. You nodded and made a note of it on a piece of paper.

"Anything else?" You asked. "Just one more thing, and it's super top secret." He said and wrote it down on a piece of paper. You looked once he was done and you giggled quietly. "What's for dinner?" It read. You looked down. "Well, what do you want?" You asked quietly.

"I think you know." He winked. You rolled your eyes. "Chicken it is then." You say and he quietly punched the air in happiness.

"I'm going to copy this." You said and started to walk out, but everything was stopped once a loud slap came around the room. You stopped, feeling a sting on your bottom.

You also knew that Taeyong didn't have elastic arms...and you knew that the giggling boys standing next to you wouldn't make it another week in Neo Culture.

You slowly turn around towards the meeting room again, and was met with stares...at you...Taeyong...and the younger recruits...waiting to see what would happen.

"What?" The young men asked, realizing that everyone was staring. Taeyong just sat there, his gaze fixed on the young men.

"Men...do you know who I am?" You bent down towards them a little. "Mrs. Lee...from the personal filing department?" One of them answered.

"Yep...Mrs. as in I am married..." You began and caught the other staring down your shirt. You gripped the clothing to your chest, and you heard a deep sigh come from Taeyong's chest.

"Now...I'm married to one of those fine gentlemen sitting at that table...could you possibly guess who it is?" You asked and they shrugged.

You heard a chair roll from behind you. You sighed, dropping your head in disappointment.

You felt a hand on your lower back, so you stood up. "Me...you dumbasses. She's married to me." Tae said getting close to the men's faces. "And you touched what was mine...no one touches her except me...she's mine."

/////////////

Well damn...I guess me writing fluff isn't that bad...

....also Domestic!Mafia!Taeyong is a concept...

You guys actually don't know how hard this was for me to write. I usually make the other admin write all the mushy gushy stuff because I usually end up killing someone ??

I might take more fluffy reactions because I now realise it's not that bad...it just take me some time to become all soft and gushy.

Love,

~J