#he didnt like a pitch... but i wonder whos telling this story ..

[thornswoggled]

my pilot chapter reaction in a nutshell

i really enjoyed this first glimpse into what TAMB might have been, but at the same time im grateful that we didnt get it. its a testament to how strong yamazakis commitment is to crafting a strong and compelling character-focused narrative that we went through seven (!) drafts to get where we're at. this first draft is tonally confused, unsure of its direction, and provides little room to wonder where the story might go from here. its almost perfectly suited to be a one-shot... which might be well and good when youre pitching ideas to a publisher, but feels strange compared to the long and winding narrative of character progression we currently have

so the initial backstory for chise being sold is a lot weaker. reads like a fanfic trope, feels like a "my mom sold me to one direction" story. i think its more important for chise to have put herself into a stupidly dangerous situation of her own accord - one day id like chise to fully appreciate the gravity of auctioning herself, seeing as she has only enough shame about it to avoid telling her peers. theres little room for speculation for this chise, who is sold to a loan shark to pay off debt. how does a japanese loan shark get in touch with a british mage, anyway?

this chise feels like... how should i put it? you know in middle school, those chapter books you would read about sassy girls going to like, vampire school and stuff? do you get what im going for here? shes sort of like that. she feels like the protagonist of a young adult novel series called something like "High School SUCKS 🩸🧛‍♂️... Volume One of the KNIFE to Meet You Chronicles 😈😈😈"

we also see that chise is enrolled almost immediately in the college. first, let me say that i love this proto-isaac we got here. i can only imagine yamazaki decided it was too troublesome to draw, or just felt out of place. which is a shame, because i like isaac quite a bit and i didnt pay him much mind when the college arc was first coming out because his design is such a nothing burger:

just as in the final story, chise is the odd one out at school - a witch attending classes for alchemists. but because she wasnt a sleigh beggy in this version (yamazaki says in interviews in the same book that chise went through a few different versions of what made her special, including being a 'specter in human form'), its unclear why shes here. this part is particularly striking to me, because...

... yes, i dont think you belong there either! because you already have a teacher, and he seems to be teaching you a lot already. more than elias is in the final story, anyway. this chise is competent and already fairly-self assured. is she here only for the social aspect? i do appreciate that elias doesnt trail her to school, but it doesnt mean much given that theres no explicit reason for her to be there

moving on to elias. first of all, yuck:

thanking god and also jesus that chise doesnt use such deferential terms for elias in the final version. blegh

this elias is uncanny valley. while chise has more attitude and sass in this version, elias makes up for it by being goofier and more amiable. theres still a sense of him being strange and off-putting, but it doesnt seem that this elias is the 'mild-mannered child pretending to be an adult' that yamazaki says our current elias is. i cant imagine chise has much to teach this elias on how to be human - if he struggles with emotions, its harder to tell. which makes sense, given that she also states that her initial draft of elias WAS originally human. i love the way yamazakis loose sketches for these panels end up making him much more expressive:

he has a sense of humor! can you IMAGINE him trying to make this joke land in the final story. chise would be like (jesse pinkman voice) "............. okay"

i cant help but wonder if, given several more decades of chises influence, maybe elias could somewhat embody this pilot personality

all that said, theres a significant difference in the dynamic between these two, and its that elias has never made any sort of indication that he intends for chise to be his wife:

i think this is a huge issue, and it provides little room for their relationship to grow in a way that feels compelling. in the final story, chise knows almost immediately what elias expects of her (or... what she THINKS he expects of her... she wont learn that his view of marriage is uninformed til later), and it colors how she regards him. which must be confusing for elias, considering he has little idea of the implication behind his words. elias is just as handsy in this draft as the final, but without the pre-established expectation of "youre gonna be my wife," coupled with elias not necessarily needing chise to teach him how to recognize his own emotions, this becomes a will-they-wont-they student-teacher romance that i frankly have zero interest in. not to yuck any yums but i just dont like that at all

despite it all, the heart of their dynamic still remains the same, and the goal of this series remains the same as the final:

even with badass punky chise and goofball elias as our protagonists, this is still a story about two people from opposite sides of the planet coming together and acknowledging their growing interest in one another. the desire to understand each other more is still at the core of these two. im just glad it was refined into what we got

and finally...

badass action girl knife-wielding chise you will always be famous. i love her so bad. thats all

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Spending Your Birthday With Akutagawa!

(Pt 1)(this is part 2)(pt 3{comin tmrw!})

scenario:- its your birthday and akutagawa wants to do something nice

pairing:- akutagawa x gn!reader

Akutagawa wouldnt really be all that into it tbh

Like he just doesnt get why people would make such a fuss about the day they were brought into this endless struggle of a rat race

But when he sees how excited you get,he thinks that maybe,just maybe, makin an effort to keep that smile on your face wouldn’t be too pointless

He asks higuchi what he should do(OMG HIGUCHI MY LOVE IM SORRY) (also we all know that no matter what,higuchi wants him to succeed.... ITS TRAGIC BRO)

And she ofc has amazing ideas but um akutagawa is just a liiittle bit lost (insert wan face)

But in the end even the black lizard team help him

Ofc he didnt ask em( HE DOESNT NEED HELLPPP(okay buddy sheesssh))

Gin and higuchi picked out a present while hirotsu and tachihara got the decor

Aku was just...there ig? He kindaaa(not rly) helped with the decor but once the gals were back everything was set

They just needed u

And when u got back to a pitch black room,you were confused as FUCKK but a second later they all Jumped out and shouted

SURPRISE !!!!!!!

you were obviously taken by surprise!

And as the night went on tachihara and higuchi goT WASTEDDD while gin and hirotsu were the designated adults :’)

At the end of it all (higuchi and tachi had to be carried back😭) akutagawa took your hand and led you to the rooftop of the building

You were OBVIOUSLY confused all over again and i mean

Rightfully so

But when you finally got your destination you were blown away by the simple yet charmingly perfect set up

Fairy lights hung over a blanket with more blankets and pillows and a picnic basket (no wonder the fuxker wasnt helpin earlier he had just done this!) you were practically tearing up which had HIM confused

Like

WHY WERE YOUUU CRYIN??? WAS IT RLY THAT BADD???

But when you practically tackled him with a hug(something only you were allowed to do fyi) while thanking him over and over,her realized you were

HAPPY crying

And let me tell you

Boi was reallyyyy proud of himself

He then took your hand,and led you to the blanket where you talked and had your lil picnic and sure enough you started to fall asleep soon after

He laid you down before joining you himself and like

EIGHT HOURS LATER you woke up tangled together;his coat wrapped the two of you up in a lil makeshift burrito

Your first words to him that morning were “thank you that was the best birthday ever” and at that moment his heart raced with how pure pride and happiness.

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Tag list open for anyone who wants!

[fangirlstorycreator]

The Legend Of The Lost Princess ♡ Chapter 14

Once everyone had pitched up their tent, you all gather in the centre off the tent area. "We're going to need some fire wood, it will ward off any animals and keep us warm too" You say to all the men. "Hears an idea" Jareth announces "How about you and Taligaro make a fire pit, me and Blackwall go and collect some fire wood, and Cael and Logan can go hunt for some food to put on the fire? This place is great for hunting boar" Logan and Cael look at eachother and nod. "That's not a bad idea Jareth, you want to see what we can get Logan?" "Sure, let's go" Cael and Logan grab their weapons and head north into the forest. "I could have easily hunted some food for us, why have i got to collect wood with you?" Blackwall asks with a low tone. "Because we're all working together as a team! Plus, its more time I can use to make you finaly smile!" "Uugghh, let's just go" Blackwall starts stomping off into the woods, making Jareth run after him. That just leaves you and Taligaro on your own while his 3 men are still pitching their tents. "Alright Tal, let's make a fire pit" "After you Y/N" Both of you grab two large sticks from the side of a tree and begin digging a whole in the ground. Meanwhile, Cael and Logan were moving quietly through the trees, until Cael knelt down onto his knees and hid behind a bush, with Logan following his lead.

"You see the clearing up ahead? I can see fresh hooves prints. Which mean there's boar nearby, all we have to do is wait" Cael says in a quiet voice. "All good with me" replied Logan. They both sit in silence, listening for any sound that could be something to hunt, when Logan decides to speak up. "Hey Cael?" "Yeh?" "Seeing as we're all working together and going to be spending some time together on this quest, what's say we get to know eachother a little more?" "Sure, what do you want to know?" "Well, I asked that blonde general guy earlier why he's joined this quest, so what's your reasoning?" "I'd tell you, but I fear I might bore you with the details" "I would rather hear a story about your personal life than listen to Jareth and Blackwall bicker all night" This makes Cael chuckle "It wont bore me, so? Why are you hear?" "Honestly? I kind of came hear to escape" Logans a little confused. "Escape? What, were you a prisoner or something?" "I suppose you could say that. When I was growing up, I was always diffrent to the other kids in my village, and kind of the black sheep in my family. I was never like anyone I knew, especially with my looks. I was born with white hair, noone else in my family has white hair, I was always seen as a freak"

"That's awful" "I just got used to it, I didnt want to be like them anyway. My father was tough and my mother didnt care, me and my siblings pretty much had to fend for ourselves. Being the youngest, I was still living at home when my siblings moved out, and no matter how hard I tried, I would never be good enough for my parents. Especially as I grew up, and discovered more about myself" "What do you mean by that?" "My father kicked me out of the home when he discovered me with someone I was having a relationship with. My father was disgusted at the thought of his son being with another guy, he thought I was messed up, and he never accepted me for who I really am" "Your father made you leave just because your not attracted to women? That's just cruel" "Thats my father. I haven't seen him since that very day, it's been nearly 10 years now, and I dont miss him or my mother, she didnt defend me, so why should I miss her?" Everything Cael said, was said with such heartache, he had held this in for so long, it's no wonder it's difficult for him to talk about. "Hey uhh, I'm sorry you have do deal with that. People like us shouldn't have to be put in positions where we feel wrong about who we are" "We?" Logan smiles warmly at Cael, realising he hadn't mentioned it before. "Sorry I forgot to mention it, I actually prefer men to women, just like you. I always have done"

Cael smiles a little, feeling like a little pressure has been lifted from him. "I didnt know, it makes a nice change to talk to someone else who understands" "Same hear Cael, and if you need to talk about anything, dont hesitate to ask" "That's kind of you Logan" Logan and Cael just sit for a few seconds, looking at eachother in a comfortable silence. Right before they both hear a rustling in the trees in front.

"Shhh" Cael whispers, slowly reaching for his bow and arrow from his back. He positions himself so he is able to see the boar that's just come into the clearing, it's a large one, the perfect size to feed everyone back at the tents. "I should be able to shoot it's two front legs from hear, stopping it from running away" "Great, if you do that, I'll finish it off with my sword, I'm ready when you are" Cael straightened up, pulls back the bow and shoots the boar right through it's two front legs, causing it to fall to the ground and squeal. That's when Logan jumps out and plunges his sword right through its head, killing it instantly. Cael walks out of the bushes to Logan, resting his hand on Logans shoulder. "Nicely done Logan" "Thanks, couldn't have done it without you" They share another warm look, before Logam removes his sword and they both pick up the boar and carry it back to camp. As they had finished their hunt, Blackwall and Jareth were nearly done collecting wood for the fire. "Hey! Hey Blackwall, what do you call a-" "For fuck sake, enough with the jokes already!" "Ah come on, a little humor never hurt anybody" "Tell that to the splitting headache in my head then" Jareth is really trying hard to make Blackwall smile, but it just isn't working. "What's your deal Blackwall?" "What?" "You dont talk unless someone makes you, your quiet, grumpy, I just dont know how to get you smiling" "Has it ever occured to you that maybe I dont want to smile?" "I dont believe that, there must be something that would make you smile?" "Shoving your head up a horses ass maybe?"

[pumpmans]

strikeman is literally everything to me. i might change my blog theme to him in the near future simply because he is one of my close faveys

[wheelsup]

okay but can you imagine spencer washing your hair for you?

like, i never (ever) let anyone (at all) touch my hair, but i feel like he'd be really gentle about it, and there is just something so soft and tender to me about the idea of washing someone's hair for them 🥺

that’s my dream <3 ik you didnt specifically ask for a blurb but i think about this very often. i wrote two versions of this, but this one (with two bickering best friends who are v much in love) won my heart. 

wc: 1.6k   contains: friends (to crushes, maybe ;) ), injured reader. gn!reader

-

“Spence, I promise you that I can do it by myself,” you huffed, attempting to yank off your tank top as you walked toward the hotel bathroom, using only one arm while trying to keep the other as still as possible.

“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you didn’t sound like you were going to cry,” he snickered, following hot on your trail as you tried to escape his hovering. 

“You’re being dramatic.” 

“Oh really? Lift your arm up, then.” He leaned his hip against the marble counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for you to do it. One obnoxiously smug eyebrow arched on his forehead.

Sometime during the case, you’d gotten into a brief tousle with a suspect, who just had to run away when approached. If Morgan had been there, you wouldn’t have even batted a lash, but he wasn’t. So not only had you detained him by yourself, you also wound up with a minor pulled muscle in your shoulder. 

You shot him a sarcastic smile, toothless and irritated, and raised your right arm into the air. He let out an airy scoff. 

“Other one, smart ass.”

Your arm dropped down to your side, your smile falling with it as you turned sharply towards the shower. 

“Look, I’m disgusting right now. So either I suck it up and shower, or you’re going to smell me until the day we solve this case.”

Spencer’s nose crinkled at the gross truth. He wasn’t ungentlemanly enough to tell you, but sharing a bed with a coworker was quite a quick way to discover if they were in need of a shower or not. Your shoulder might be out of service, but both of you could agree that hygiene was a bigger priority. 

“You can’t even move. Just… just let me help you.”

You snorted. “Nice try, Reid. I’m not letting you shower with me.”

He rolled his eyes at your use of his last name. You only called him that when you were annoyed with him. He pushed off the counter and turned to the wall, hitting the light switch and earning a shriek from you as the room suddenly went dark. 

“I won’t look,” he shrugged, amusing no one but himself. 

“You’re a clown, you know that?” you muttered under your breath, drawing back the shower curtain and fumbling around, searching for the knobs in pitch black. “Absolutely fucking theatrical.” 

You found them moments later and ran the water, testing the temperature on the back of your hand. By the time it went from cold to warm, you noticed that he still hadn’t moved. From the sliver of light peeking under the door, you could make out just his silhouette in the corner, perched on the vanity. 

He was being stubborn about this. That, and the comforting fact that you couldn’t see a single thing –– thankfully, not even his face –– wore you down.

“Close your eyes,” you murmured. 

“It’s already pitch black in here ––”

“Close your eyes, Reid.”

Sighing through his nose, he did just that. To make sure you knew it, and also maybe just to be annoying, he made a show of getting off the counter and turning himself around to face the wall. You peeled out of your clothes as quickly as you could. In the process, you caught the long shower curtain under the heel of your foot and, as you stumbled over it, accidentally dragged it along, sending the metal curtain hooks screeching as they slid along the bar.  

The second you found your ground, you immediately shot daggers into the back of Spencer’s head, waiting for him to make a joke. As if he could feel them, he bit back his quip. Not without letting a barely contained cackle slip under his breath. 

“Okay,” you warned, stepping into the shower. Grabbing the end of the shower curtain, you pulled it tightly over your body to cover yourself as you poked your chin out to talk to him. “I’m in.”

Spencer turned and approached the shower, eyes still shut with his hands out in front of him, feeling the walls for guidance. He was still mocking you for making him close his eyes. You raised your brows; he must’ve thought he was quite funny. 

“You look like Velma when she loses her glasses.”

That knocked the funny bone right out of him. His hands dropped to his sides.

“Just get your hair wet and hand me the shampoo.” 

You drew the curtain shut again as you dipped your head under the shower stream, coming back moments later with sopping wet hair and a little bottle of complimentary hotel shampoo. 

He let you sit on the floor of the bathtub, just slightly removed from the spray of the water. Your back was to him, as he kneeled down on the tile floor, just outside of the bathtub so he didn’t have to get wet. You bent your knees to your chest, resting your chin on them.

Spencer first pushed up the sleeves of his sweater as far as he could before deciding to remove it altogether for the sake of protecting the wool against stray water. The cuffs of his work shirt were unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows as he got to work.

Taking a healthy quarter-sized amount of shampoo into his palm, he lathered it between his hands before running soapy fingers through your scalp. The pads of his fingertips softly dug in as he carefully massaged the shampoo in.

When he started working his fingers in patterns, putting pressure near your temples and increasing it as he dragged them up the curve of your scalp, you let your eyes close. He was getting rid of a headache you didn’t even realize you had. 

The tension you’d been carrying in your shoulders eased a little, and it made him think about how much you probably needed this. One of his hands came down to massage the muscle between your neck and your good shoulder, knowing it was best to just let the hot water do its magic on the bad one. 

When the shampoo had been sufficiently lathered, he stood up and detached the shower head, bringing it down to you so you didn’t have to move. You leaned your head back for him as he carefully rinsed the soap out.

You weren’t going to ask, but thank God Spencer told you to hand him the conditioner next. This, he slathered all over the ends of your hair, making sure all of it was sufficiently covered in conditioner before loosely twisting it into a low, makeshift pony for you. 

“Mm. I was about to ask how you’re so good at haircare,” you chuckled lowly to yourself, in a half-sleepy voice with your forehead resting on your knees. Dangerously close to falling asleep. “Then I remembered what you used to look like.”

You had a lazy smile on your face just thinking about the days where Spencer’s hair used to be down to his shoulders. He looked so pretty like that (not that he didn’t look pretty now, too), you always wondered why he got rid of it. 

“Remember when I got shot in the knee?” he hummed, returning to work your shoulder. He adorned a tiny smile of his own as he started to reminisce. “You came by my house at least once a week. Brought me meals, watched movies with me. Helped distract me from the pain. Even drove me to my physical therapy appointments.” 

You mm-hmm’d that you remembered.

“You pretty much did everything shy of helping me bathe. Though, I feel like you would’ve helped with that, too, if I asked.”

You both laughed at that. You hadn’t really noticed the parallels of your situation, being injured and needing his help for once. He was happy to repay the favor. 

“I’ll, uh. Let you wash your body yourself,” he said, coming out of his daydream for a moment. He rinsed his hands off and got up, patting down his wet hands on his trousers. With one nod from you to confirm that you’d be able to do it, he quickly exited the bathroom to give you privacy. 

You emerged seventeen minutes later, clad in pajamas with towel-dried hair. Spencer was still awake as you crawled onto the bed beside him, more than ready for bed after that. He looked to the side to ask you how the rest of your shower was, and before he could get it out, you shuffled up next to him, winding one arm around his and resting your head on his chest.

“I take it you had a good shower?” he laughed. This was one of his “I told you so” moments, and for once, you didn’t mind it. 

“Mhm,” you smiled, chuckling behind it as you shut your eyes. You were falling asleep fast. “Spence, the scalp massage…” 

“Was good, right?” he boasted, inflating his own ego a bit. 

You nodded against his shoulder, not caring if you helped blow up his ego another two sizes. Burrowing deeper into the covers, nestling tighter against Spencer, you got one more quip in before falling asleep. “S’good that I think I have a crush on you now.” 

Joke or not, he pulled the blanket higher until it reached your chin, holding you with both arms and kissing the top of your head before falling asleep himself.

*

*

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[hinatas-sunshine]

Synopsis: You reminisce with your boyfriend about how you two met, while the team listens, seeing how your hate turned to love.

Genre: Fluff, maybe goofy idk I try

A/N: I thought of this when I didn’t write much all day because I was so exited to write again! but I’m so excited to put it down now! Enjoy this and thanks again for always being so kind to me 🥺 requests are open! KITHES!

Kuroo:

• He hadn’t know you didn’t like him, he just thought you were shy

• When he would approach you and you’d look away, shove your headphones on and walk away he thought you were just not a talkative person or in a hurry

Yaku: Oh y/n? She’s cool, she’s super hyper - doesn’t like you though

Kenma: Yeah I can relate

Kuroo: Kenma 🥺💔

• When you two where in chemistry together you knew he was the smartest person in class

“For this project you will need partners.”

• Everyones silently cheered

“But I’ll be choosing your partners.”

• Now everyone’s cheers became groans

• You silently prayed you didn’t get with the last person you wanted to be with, but the universe had other plans for you...

“Kuroo and y/n-“

“Excuse me, Miss, could I maybe work alone instead?”

• All the other girls beamed and raised their hands asking to work with him while your teacher shook her head and Kuroo blushed, wether it be from the amount of girls who offered to work with him or that you just lowkey humbled him

“Sorry y/n - but you have to have a partner for this one.”

• You only sighed and eyed Kuroo who still had a blush on his cheeks - and a bunch of girls glaring at you.

• You rolled your eyes and sat with him once your teacher told you guys to sit with your partners

“What’s your deal y/n? I don’t remember doing anything to you.”

• You glared at him before opening your notebook and starting to write stuff down making yourself busy

“Let’s get this project over with.”

“Okay... fine.”

• His eyes would wander over to you as you lost yourself in your work, but his eyes didn’t go unnoticed - they were practically burning holes in the side of your head

• You turned your head and glared at him

“Whats your problem Kuroo? Stop staring at me!”

“Me? You’re the one who’s mean to me for no reason!”

“What? Because I’m not one of your stupid fans? Sorry I’m not begging to be your partner but I have a little more decency than that.”

“I don’t expect you to be! But you have no real reason to hate me!”

• You glared at him one more time before the bell rang and you stood up shoving everything in your bag stomping out

• Kuroo hurried to follow you, catching up to you he grabbed your wrist

“Oh my gosh why do you care so much if I like you or not?”

• He let go of you and looked to the side scratching the back of his head

“Because you hate me for no reason...”

“Because you’re a player! You’re a flirt Kuroo! I hear it everywhere but I’m not gonna fall for your tricks just because you have a pretty face!”

• He raised his eyebrow and let out a laugh his cheeks painted red at the compliment

• You sighed and grumbled smacking his arm

“It’s not funny! Shut up rooster head before I sell you to a farm!”

• He started cackling at this point holding his stomach causing you to turn red

“Y-Y/n... I don’t know if you know this or not but I am not a player - I would rather not spend all my time flirting.”

• Now it was your turn to blush, you looked away before crossing your arms

“Doesn’t mean your face isn’t any less annoying you dumb bedheaded beanstock.”

• He shrugged and smiled at you

“It takes time to grow accustomed to people, I’ll let you have your time to begin to like me.”

• Your face grew red again and you stomped your foot

“This is what I’m talking about! You flirt!”

“That’s was flirting?!”

• Your eyes shot open and you smacked your head

“You’re so slow..”

• You two began walking and arguing

• and that’s how you two were...

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Inuoka: So... you hated Kuroo?

Y/N: with my whole chest.

• Here you sat at the Nekoma boy’s practice, Kuroo lazily slumped over you as you tried to push him away

“You’re sweaty, nasty unwashed potato.”

• Kuroo raised his eyebrow at you and Yaku laughed silently next to you

Yaku: it doesn’t sound any different, sounds like she still hates you

Kuroo: Y/n loves me! That’s not true at all!

Y/n: no wait let him speak

Kuroo: WHAT-

• You giggled placing a small peck on his cheek, showing him that you’re kidding - to which he picked you up and hugged you tightly

Kenma: Disgusting

• You look at Kenma and he smiled at you before looking at his game again

“Why don’t you smile at me Kenma?!”

“Because you’re irritating Lev.”

Atsumu:

• LMAO EVERYONE BUT HIM KNEW YOU DIDNT LIKE HIM

• When you sat with your friends, all they did was talk about Atsumu, while you ate your fruit slices because Yum 😋

“HES SO CUTE!”

Y/n: he has the IQ of a mannequin

“He does not! He’s really smart! Which reminds me oh my gosh-“

• You shrugged tuning out your friend before looking back at your fruit slices and taking a bite happily

• Then there was Atsumu, in his own little world in the middle of practice - until a ball hit him in the back of the head

• Osamu glared at him while Kita shook his head

Kita: Why are you so spaced out today?

Osamu: He jus has no brain - it takes em a second to regain his brain cell

Atsumu: NOT TRUE! I jus- I saw this cute girl today

• The whole team groaned while another ball came at the blonde head with a thump

Osamu: who even is it this time?!

Atsumu: ...y/n 😳👉🏽👈🏽

• The whole gym went silent before everyone laughed at him making him go red

Atsumu: WHATS SO BAD ABOUT Y/N?

Suna: She literally hates you

*y/n: oh my why am I sneezing so much? Am I getting sick?*

• Atsumu frowned before looking at everyone

Atsumu: wait why?

• To which everyone shrugged and went back to their practice

• But that kept him only wondering what made you hate him...

• The next day you were enjoying your daily fruit slices happily on a bench alone, you popped a slice into your mouth bouncing of happiness at the sweet taste

• Your happiness faltered when you saw Atsumu approaching you with a sickingly sweet smile while all his fan girls glared at you already

• he couldn’t be approaching you right? Maybe he was gonna pass you? Yeah - that’s most likely it. He doesn’t have any reason to talk to y-

“Hi y/n!”

• Yeah no. You picked up your fruit slices and bag walking away

“Wait! Y/n!”

• You turned, half a fruit slice sticking out of your mouth, the other half being chewed

• He looked at you like you were the cutest in the world - and you took the fruit slice out of your mouth

“What corn head?”

• He automatically stopped smiling and glared at you

“Why do ya hate me huh?”

• You shrugged and turned around and kept walking but you came to a halt feeling a force pulling you back - he grabbed the strap of your backpack and you gasped falling back

• He put his arm around you and smiled down at you with closed eyes opening his mouth to speak

• But your fist in his side and his gasping fangirls stopped him from speaking

“Did she just hit Atsumu?!”

“She’s so ungrateful! I’d love to have him with me like that!”

• You internally gagged at their annoying remarks and sent them a glare worse than they had given you making them scatter

“You perv! This is why I totally despise you! You think you can do whatever you want and you get away with whatever because everyone likes you! But you’re just an asshole!”

• He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows as you stomped off

• He didn’t do anything wrong did he?

• He walked back up to you and you groaned turning and pressing your foot onto his making him wince

“Ouch!”

“Stop following me! It’s creepy!”

• You frowned and held the straps to your bag while he gasped and reached in his bag

“You like these? Right? I made sure to save mine for you!”

• He held out some fruit slices and placed them in your hands, before smiling at you, patting your head and walking away

• When he got to practice his brother was already laughing it him

“We tell you she hates you and you think you can get her to like you by just approaching her? Oh my gosh!”

• He growled at his captain but all eyes snapped to the door when you walked in

“Did ya come to confess ya love to me?”

“No I’d rather avoid looking at you at all costs.”

• He frowned and you handed some papers to Kita telling him they were for coach while he thanked you

• You walked to Atsumu who was sulking, thinking maybe you were too harsh on him...

“Listen... you should really try working on your people skills... then maybe... I’ll be your friend if you’d like.”

• He smirked at you

“Oh so-“

“Nevermind.”

• You turned to walk out before he was in front of you for a split second

“I’m sorry! I’ll be a’ better person!”

• This had everyone’s eyebrows raised - and you nodded smiling at and putting a hand on his shoulder

“I’m sure you can do it!”

• Yeah he was a puddle in your arms at that point watching you walk out

“Ya wouldn’t last a’ day trashsumu.”

“Shut up ‘samu!”

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ���

• Atsumu recalled the story to Bokuto, Sakusa, and Hinata

“Wow so you changed just for her?! That’s so romantic!”

• Hinata’s eyes grew wide as he smiled at Bokuto who had a tear in his eye

“That’s so sweet!”

• Sakusa rolled his “You didn’t change you liar.”

• You smacked your boyfriends head

“I was not that mean you stupid corn head!”

• He rubbed the back of his head looking at you as you placed a kiss on his cheek

“I was actually really nice he was just super annoying”

“Was not!”

Sakusa: I believe it

Atsumu: Omi 🥺

• You giggled and smiled at Atsumu, he smiled back at you sliding an arm around your waist leading his head on your shoulder

“Either way she helped me change for the better.”

• This causes you to blush and look down at your lap

“Shut up corn head.”

Hinata: Oh my gosh so that’s what she sounded like while he was explaining the story!

Bokuto: No! She sounded more high pitched probably like this

• Cue Bokuto saying “shut up corn head” in a high pitched voice

Oikawa:

• He thought when everyone said you hated him it was just a joke :(

Iwaizumi: she hates you

Oikawa: Haha so funny

Iwaizumi: no really she hates your guts

• He didn’t get the memo - THE VERY CLEAR MEMO - because when you two were forced to sit next to each other in class and you ignored him, he was confused

“Can I borrow a pen y/n? I left mine-“

• you have already flicked a pin at his forehead to which he caught

• when he sat next to your table at lunch with his own friends he realized how much you hate him

“Okau y/n, kiss, marry, kill: oikawa-“

“Kill oikawa.”

“I didn’t finish.”

“Oh yeah sorry.”

• The look of fear on his face was very noticeable and not only that Iwaizumi cackling made it even more noticeable they heard because you turned around

“Huh? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Y/n-Chan!” “Don’t call me that” “You just said you’d rather kill me than be with me!”

“Yeah what about it?”

• He was sulking the rest of the day and everytime Iwa thought about it he laughed so hard

• By the time he was at practice, he knew his worries would go away. But when his fan girls approached he started getting... bored?

• Iwaizumi quickly caught onto his fake smile and realized how he quickly told them he was in a rush

Iwa: Aye shittykawa!

Oikawa: Huh? What did I do!

Iwa: What’s up with you?

• This confuses oikawa, what was wrong with him? He didn’t think anything was wrong with him...

Mattsun: Yeah usually you’re all *bats eyelashes and puts fake hair behind his year* with your 5,000 girlfriends!

Oikawa: I am not!

Makki: Are too! And they usually go *appraches Mattsun with hands behind his back shyly* for you and you eat that up!

• Yuh Makki and Mattsun Debby Ryaning! Get into it!

• This had Oikawa red and blushing

“Shouldn’t you guys be practicing!?”

• The rest of the team laughed at their upperclassmen and continued on with practice

• He walked up to you the next day smiling at you while you groaned and walked into the girls bathroom to avoid him

• You stood in there for 3 minutes before you walked back out - thank god he was gone

“Y/n!”

“OH MY GOSH!”

• You jumped and swing your backpack at the boy who fell back with a thud

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Oikawa! What were you doing!”

• He held his bleeding nose and sat up

“I know you said you’d kill me! But I didn’t think you’d actually mean it!”

“Huh? When did I-“

• the color drained from your face when you remembered your own words

“I’m not a psychopath! You just scared me! You creepy stalker!”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

• You helped him up and made him sit at a nearby bench in the hall heading back into the girls bathroom to get some paper towels

• You cleaned him up and pinched the bridge of his nose

“What do you have in your bag y/n? Bricks!?”

“Wha- no?! I carry a lot for school!”

“You knew today would be your attack day!”

“I’ll let your nose bleed out if you don’t shut up 💞”

• He slightly laughed and you smiled at him, when he was up close maybe he wasn’t so bad...

“Y/n... why do you hate me?”

“You’re cocky.”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

• He growled and sighed letting you take your hand off of his nose

“You also think you need to show everyone you’re so good at everything, Oikawa you don’t have to do that all the time. Everyone likes you enough as it is - stop stressing yourself out.”

• He looked at you as your blush painted your cheeks

“Y/n... do you like me?”

“Shut up! I’ll hit you with my brick back again!”

“Okay okay!”

• He smiled at you as you growled lowly, you threw away the napkins and sat down next to him

“Listen Oikawa, you’re a great captain. You’re a leader and above all you’re kind. But sometimes you let the fangirls get to your head and it’s - annoying to say the least.”

• He looked at you, you were gripping your skirt and your hair was covering your face

“Y/n...”

“Shut up oikawa I’ll punch you if you say something cheesy.”

• He smiled to himself, the butterflies in his stomach now becoming way more noticeable as he scooted closer to you

• You noticed this and stood up

“I’ll see you later Oikawa.”

• He nodded and watched as you walked away, you shot a smile at him and turned your head back around to continue walking

• He cherished that moment forever

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Kindaichi: So... She actually had a crush on you the whole time?

Oikawa: Ye-

Y/n: no. Definitely not.

• Oikawa pouted and you kissed his nosed laughing, while the other boys gagged

Kunimi: I think this was a cute story!

• You smiled and linked arms with Oikawa - who smiled down at you as you talked excitedly about their upcoming match while the other boys talked back just as excited

Iwa: you coming to watch the retired circus clown?

Oikawa: Iwa 😔

Y/n: Of course Iwa-Chan!

• Iwaizumi nodded patting your head

Oikawa: HUH? Why is it different when she does it?!

Iwaizumi: Because you’re just weird about it!

Tags:

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! If your uncomfortable please ignore this ask, but i was wondering if you could write something similar to malcome & marie? Thank you! Happy belated birthday!

Thank you baby! I actually thought about this ask for a bit. As a community we do NOT support or want anything like that in our lives, okay?

But if you as a reader would be uncomfortable with reading this then do not.

this will be kinda very similar to the plot of malcome & marie sooo....

Pairings: Film creator!tom x used to be sex worker!reader

WE SUPPORT SEX WORKERS. YOU ARE GOLDEN😩🙌🏽

Summary: after a celebration its time for the downfall

Warnings: argueing, slut shamming, smut mentions. Drinking, smoking. Not proof read. TOXIC- suicide mention.

I hopw this is just as confusing as it was in the actual movie, cuz yeah. Pls dont be shy to say something about it. And tbh if it isnt that good to you i dont blame you, its currently 11:16 and i should be asleep.

You and tom walked in, a wide smile on his face as he danced around and shut the front door behind him. “Baby i did it!”

A faint smile played on your lips as you walked to the kitchen “yes you did, tom. You hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge as he went to go get a bottle of remy and two glasses, the rings shinning bright on his finger. “Yeah, can i have uh-“ he thought, stopping in his tracks and jerking his head as he couldnt think of anything.

“How about pancakes?” He randomly said and you chuckled “pancakes? Really?” “Of course! A sweet treat for a very sweet day” he walked up to the kitchen placing the glasses and the remy down.

You laughed again before taking out the pan, he also got to work by getting out the mix and the water while you got everything else. A cigarette in your mouth as tom helped light it while you mixed up the powder with the water.

“I never knew i could make it so far” he muttered, grabbing the remy and pouring it into the glass, tilting his head back and letting out a small moan from the sting in his throat. “You did a good job”

“Ya know, everyone is so judgemental, like i could walk around with my shoes untied and somebody would fucking give me a glare- or even what you call it. a stank eye” you nodded at his words letting him know you were listening, “but when i made that fucking movie i had all these women just- i cant even explain it” he shrugged, walking around the house with the glass in his hand, a wide smile on his face while you sighed and puffed out the smoke, the sizzle from the mix going on the buttered pan audible before he speaked again.

“They just kept on telling me how fucking talented i am, how i get women so fucking well. I mean goddamn im such a fucking genius” he edged on, cocky as he stomped his feet at his words,’ such, a, fucking, genius’

“Yes you are tommy” you looked down and seen the mix bubbling, taking the spatula and flipping the pancake, shifting and leaning on your right leg as your dominant hand sat on your hip, the other holding onto the cig.

“But it’s confusing. Any other time they would probably fucking- what do you call it” he snapped his fingers before taking a sip. “Aha! Fucking cancel me!” He pointed at the ceiling. “Why would they do that tommy” you lifted your eyebrow, “youre only writing a good story” you sighed, looking at the plates and rubbing a mark that was left on them.

“People now days do it just because....just because their bored- or even because they dont like them- BUT-“ he lifted his finger towards you “they have no reason to”

“Mhm, you should wait for the reviews” you took the cigarette and put it in the ash tray, taking the fire out before putting the pancake on the plate.

“They have to be good! I can make fucking millions off of this” he smiled, quickly walking over before chugging his drink.

“Yes...yes you can” “and then we could buy a fucking island, a boat and even a horse!” He laughed, amazed and he set down the glass before coming behind you, pressing kisses to your neck as he watched you put the batter on the pan again.

“What makes you want a horse?” “What makes you think about reviews?” And with that you shrugged “just because a few reporters and new york news writers like it doesnt mean that everyone will”

“Why are you being so negative? Goddamn you bring the worst out of everything y/n” he let you go, and you looked at him, giving him the famous eyes.

“The worst? How about you go fuck yourself” you said, aggressively grabbing the spatula to flip the pancake. “Go fuck myself? Whats your problem”

You stayed silent, wondering if you should just go outside and smoke another cigarette or hear him bitch and moan. “Y/n you have a problem every other fucking day. I try to talk to you but you dont. You rather talk shit and let it marinate” he rested his hands on his hips and starred at you while you bit your lip and put the pancake on the plate, grabbing the syrup you put the right amount for him before aggressively walking to the table and slamming it down.

Your heels clanking against the floor as you made your way to the bathroom. Leaving tom by his self as he let out a harsh sigh and rubbed his chin, thinking about what he should do before finally grabbing a fork to eat his breakfast.

“You know. You do the same shit every night- you curse me out then the next hour you wanna suck my dick or something” you starred at yourself in the mirror, biting the side of your cheek before you took of the heels, then coming back out.

“How dare you, thomas” you said harshly, walking back to him and watching him eat the pancakes. “How about you be fucking mature and stop eating”

“No. I dont wanna fight” he shrugged, cutting the pancakes fancy before he placed them in his mouth. “Your such a fucking bitch” your eyes squinted as you leaned forward.

His eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat “a bitch?” He let out a loud laugh, tilting his head before coming back “i think we both know whos the bitch here”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh you know exactly what im talking about” and with that your jaw basically droppped to the floor “why are you suprised?”

“Have you ever thought-“ you caught your words before repeating them “im the reason why youre gonna get millions, if i was never there for you. If you were never in my life youd still be in that house that you hated so fucking much” you walked closer.

“Trust me baby you were apart of it, but you sure as hell werent the main character” “then please-please tell me who else was doing sex for money?” You asked, and he didn’t answer, instead continued to eat the pancakes.

That made you more aggressive, quickly walking to the table and snatching the plate. “How dare you have to nerve to talk shit about me while you eat what i made you”

“Fuck you y/n” “no fuck you!” He dropped the fork, his face becoming a shade of red. “Im the reason why youre in this fucking house right now, im the reason why you have that fucking ring on your finger” you said, then put your fingers on your ring.

“Dont you fucking dare take off that 50,000 thousand ring y/n” “why shouldnt i?” “Because you love me dont you, darling?” that made you soften up a bit, taking your fingers off the ring as he smiled, telling you to come over. He sat you on his lap, taking the cigarette out of his jacket that youre wearing, grabbing the lighter from his pocket.

You put the cigarette in your mouth and he repeated the same action, lighting it for you. “I love you y/n”

“Mhm” you smiled, taking out the cigarette to press your lips on his and he rubbing your hips, the passion over the tension in the room. “Oh well i thought the movie was shit, i uh- couldnt help but think thats not how it ends” you teased with an old grandma accent and he laughed.

“Yeah i did to, how does man get with a prostitute and marry them” he teased back making you both laugh. “The movie felt so real, it reminded me of my friend miranda” you playfully said with a more younger high pitched voice.

And it went back and forth, laughs leaving both of your lips until he pushed the buttons “man she really was a thot” your eyebrows furrowed as he laughed to his self. “Man he really was desperate for a blow job” you said in your serious voice “man i wonder why he hooked up with such a thot”

“I didnt mean it like that-“ “fuck you” you got off his lap and walked back to the bathroom. “Here you go again y/n!” He shouted, and you turned back around.

“Your so fucking selfish” “we werent even talking about that-“ “no fuck you. All you do is say i-i-i” you yelled, words strong. He stood up agitated “you know what you wanna argue, lets argue”

“You gave up on me” “if i gave up on you why would i marry you” “our love was strong in the beginning and then you just-became you” you looked at him up and down.

“That was because i was in love with your body” he smiled “really? Why didnt you just leave me on the fucking street!” You yelled again, “because I thought you deserved better, maybe you should still be in that fucking old apartment with fucking big ass rats running through it, men twice your age fucking your loose ass whole”

“FUCK YOU” you shouted pointing at him “maybe i shouldve used that sloopy mouth of yours to stay on my dick so you could stay shutting up” “NO FUCK YOU THOMAS” and with that you walked away, into the room this time before tom followed behind you.

“Please leave me the fuck alone before i flip out on you, please just leave” “no”

“You know what. I feel like once you feel like you gave everything they wanted and more you expect them to stay with your sorry ass” “oh im not sorry. And thats not true” he shrugged, standing infront of the door as you sat on the bed. “Im so embarrassed to call you my husband” you shook your head.

“Why shouldnt i be embarrassed to call you my wife?” He shrugged again, leaning against the door looking at you. “If it werent for me you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now” “what makes you think im happy y/n! Im really not” “and you think i am?!” You looked up at him, getting up and walking to him but he continued to back up, until you both were in the open hallway with a table in the middle of it.

“I was never happy in the first place” you said, eyes starting to tear up. “Dont give me fucking alligators-“ “do you know how embarrassing it is for someone to tell you to get your own fucking ride home because you wanna fuck someone else?” You asked, your voice changed as you wiped under your eye, smuding the makeup.

“I had to ask Harrison to give me a ride home. I was scared tom” you sighed, shoulders becoming slump. “What if i ran into somebody i fucked? And they forced me to have sex with them again or else theyd report me to the police?” You asked, breaking down and falling to the floor while tom watched, guilt and shame all ocer his face as he leaned against the table.

“I watched you with my two own eyes make out with someone then the next day you asked me to ride you. But you wanna slut shame me for being broke and needing to survive, that broke me so much. And i did it” you choked “i gave consent everytime, brusied my knees from getting on them for you. Just to make you happy. I let you get full of yourself and now its all about you” you whispered and he came down to you, holding you and pressing kisses on your hair while you broke down more, hiding away from him. “You let me stay out there on Christmas day” a frown met on his lips, thinking back on the day and how you were probably reallty cold, he knew you couldnt stand it.

“And i gave consent to getting married to you, your such a hoe” he couldnt help but chuckle “no seriously your a hoe to feeds for attention” you made eye contact with him, and then you both broke into laughs, sniffels leaving your lips causally but easily ignored knowing you feel slightly better.

And with that you both beard his phone ding, well multiple dings. You told him to answer it, check it. And it was a review, he stood up and helped you up, walking to the livingroom before going over to grab the glasses and remy, pouring it in both cups you both took one.

“Alright, this is from whats her name....janice!” He said, sitting on the couch and you sat between his legs in the floor, sipping the drink. “Overall the movie was great. But there was a few things that werent right in my opinion-“

With that his eyebrows furrowed, you played with the carpet as you waited for him to continue, he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee using his thumb to scroll. “I couldnt understand why the character had all these strange things about her, why the sex scenes were that necessary”

“Ding ding ding”

“Shut up y/n you arent helping- i don’t understand how jhon and candy got along and became freinds if they continue to have intercourse. What the fuck are you talking about? Bla bla bla” he muttered, skimming through it “how candy and ron got along? Shouldnt they be together of they clicked so well?”

A small laugh left your lips “me and Harrison? That wouldnt be so bad”

“How in the world did they get married? Honestly the whole relationship is toxic, but i see it as they were to late to give it up, they were already in a too tight knot. Thats not true we are madly in love with each other” he jerked his head at the phone.

“Ms janice does have a point” you cleared your throat a bit. “Y/n please. Ms janice has no fucking idea what shes talking about jhon and candy are in love with each other and they have problems sometimes....well most but oh well its not to late either one of them couldve got up and go”

“Not if one loved more then the other and it was to late to go, janice is right tom” you crossed your arms.

“Do you wanna-“ “no tom i dont. Just speaking my opinion, coming from a woman your being pretty harsh about it” “well it wasnt really about candy-“

“That doesnt make any sense, shes the main fucking character” you looked at him. “It was more on how jhon viewd candy” “then why was candy always in camera”

“Because...” he shrugged. “Your so dumb” you got up and sat far away from him on the couch, he eyed you in confusion “isnt that fucking movie based off of my life. Like im some type of experiment and you solved made something out of it” you dozed off, swirling the remy in your glass. “Im not feeding into this” he ignored you, until you got up and barked at him, which he looked at you as if you were crazy before doing it back “fucking prick!” You stomped off out of the livingroom and went outside.

“Fuckin-“ he couldnt come up with anything before he let out something random “fuckin mood swinger-“ you finally took the time to take off your makeup and dress, muttering words about him “thats why he stinks, smellin like a gorrila- asshole- man whore” you took a bath too, you didnt feel your best at the moment.

Tom on the other hand just took off his shoes and aggressively stomped on the pillows, throwing a tantrum and jumping on the couch and punching air, kicking it until he accidentally fell.

By time you were dont he thought about it “harsh?” He questioned and walked into the room, finding you reading a book on the bed with the night light on and a cigarette in your mouth.

“Y/n?” “Yes thomas?” You looked up at him “harsh?” He asked and you tilted your head at him “i wasnt being harsh about it” “mhm” you shut your book and set it on te night stand, he undressed until he was in his underwear and climbed into bed with tou.

“How was i being harsh about it” you sighed and rested the cigarette in the ashtray, not putting it out just yet. “You arent really aware of others feelings tommy” you said simply. “What does that mean?” He asked, crossing his arms and sitting up next to you, both backs against the headboard and he looked at you.

“It meas i loved you more then you loved me” his eyebrows furrowed at the statement “that cant be true” “tom it is. You didnt say it but you did. You only wanted me for my body. My love and soul came later and i was to blind to notice. That was my bad”

“Loved?” He questioned. “I think i started to love you less and got on a even level with you, then we built together” you shrugged, crossed a leg over your other one and crossing your arms to. He let out a small laugh, “you know i never understood why jhon died in the end and why candy committed suicide” you said and his heart sunk a bit low.

He cleared his throat before saying something “i know you’re afraid of losing me, y/n. I never told you this but ive read your journal” he nodded his head and you bit your lip, knowing every single letter you wrote and how much it sucked thinking back about those days.

“I know how much you loved me but hated me. But something really grabbed my heart. ‘I want to keep tom, hes like my soulmate. My hearts gotton closer by every minute and moment ive been with him. Even though i feel like ive been burned by some of the things hes done, id forever love him. Losing him would be like losing me entirely’”

“I still don’t understand” you mutter, silently wondering how he knew word by word. “I took advantage of that. Because when i was done reading it i knew it was true, it is true. I couldnt feel it in my heart, thats why i picked you up and took care of you. I noticed you really care for me and ive done nothing but asked you to suck me off, i thought i was making both of us happy by giving you what you needed, or wanted. I became so happy when we got closer, you told me about your new apartment and i was so excited, but it wasn’t because of me entirely. I wanted you to myself. I needed you to myself and you needed it too. So if you lost me you would lose everything, give up on love.” Everything he said was true, it wasnt what you wanted to hear but he needed you to hear the truth.

“So candy gave up on it” he shrugged “she didnt try because there was no need to, she didn’t think anyone else would love her, ‘without tom i have no one else, i know ive done some un speakable thigns with him but i can tell by his eyes and heart that he wants something, he just wont tell me’” he smiled, quoting off of your journal again with a smile on his lips. “Thats why i try every time to keep this relationship strong, go to therapy with you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are everyday, cook you breakfast when i know your trying to do something new”

“So youre only doing this because you dont want me to kill myself?” “No y/n. I did it at first but then i opened my eyes and noticed how much i really fucking love you” he uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. “And i know you love me too, on a even page” you both shared a crooked smile, using your free hand and grabbing the cigarette and putting it to your lips. The time currently 4:30 in the morning as he reached for the cig, your eyebrows furrowed as you let him take it. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Since i had too much of your bullshit” “shut up” you both laughed, slapping his chest as he handed it back, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Im sorry for giving you such a headache” he muttered and you ignored it, putting out the cigarette and turning off the night light, keeping your distance from him you got under the covers and shut your eyes, and he did the same, turning away from you so you are back to back.

A smell of bacon filled your nose when you woke up, a faint smile on your lips as you got up, walking to the kitchen and finding thomas cooking.

“Whats the special occasion?” “I know youre trying something new”

[allycat319]

The Big Mistake

Authors Note: I’m planning on starting a fanfiction of some kind and this is just a story I wrote using the OC (Abilene Morgan) I plan to use in the fic and her roommate Lily. I hope you like it. Im pretty sure there aren't any trigger warnings for this one. It turned out longer than I hoped but that just means more Bodecker. 

She knew she shouldn't go into a bar without Lee especially when it was Micky’s, the local dive and hangout for all the low lives in Knockemstiff. Unfortunately for her, the workday at the hardware store was long and tiring, all she wanted was a quick drink and Micky’s was four doors down from the store. Knowing that if Lee found out, he would be more than pissed, she planned to just go in for a quick shot of whiskey and then get in her Chevy and head home. 

Abilene finished her shot and stuck to her plan, she paid the bartender and walked out of the shabby building. She smiled to herself as she walked to her car, thinking for a moment she was completely in the clear, Lee would never know. Abilene got to the big window at the front of the hardware store then she saw the reflection of a red light. A chill went down her spine when she heard the car door open and then slam shut. 

She slowly turned towards the car, there he was standing on the road staring daggers into her. She couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked, leather jacket half way zipped so she could barely see his white uniform shirt and green tie, and his hands resting on his hips. Abilene silently prayed she would be able to talk her way out of this one, she smiled sweetly “Hey Handsome, how's your patrol going?” Lee walked over to the passenger door of his patrol car and opened it, “Get in.” “Lee my car is just over there, you can walk me the rest of the way if you want?” Abilene said hopefully. His jaw tightened, “Get. in.” he repeated. Abilene signed and walked towards the cruiser, stopping at Lee who was still holding the door open. “I know you’re angry at me, but I did miss you today.” She leaned in, silently surprised he didn't jerk away from her when she planted her lips on his cheek. 

Lee slammed the car door and walked to the drivers side, sliding in beside her. He aggressively shifted the car into drive and started on the silent drive towards Abilene’s house. They were about ten minutes away from her house when Lee pulled to the shoulder and stopped the car, when he threw the shifter into park Abilene felt her stomach turn. She glanced up from her lap to sneak a look at him, he was staring forward, he was gripping the steering wheel so tight she could see his knuckles turning pale white. “What in God’s name were you thinkin?” He finally said after the much too long silence. Abilene sighed, “It was a long day, nothin went right and I just wanted a quick drink. All I did was take a shot and leave.” “What have I told you about goin there without me? Huh? It ain't safe Abilene and you damn well know it!” He turned to face her as he spoke, his voice getting louder. “Stop hollering at me, I’m a grown woman and I can do what I want Lee. It ain't like I walked two miles down the road.” She said, her tone matching his aggressiveness. “You best watch that mouth of yours little girl.” He was yelling now, the fury evident in his voice. “Ya know what, I don't have to take you sittin here hollerin 'at me like a child.” Abilene threw open the car door and stepped out into the warm summer night air, slamming the car door behind her. She started to walk towards her house before Lee even had the chance to get out of the car. 

“Abilene! What the hell are you doin! It’s almost 10 o’clock and your house is an hour walk!” She heard him yell. “It’s much fuckin better than bein in a car with you!” She yelled looking back for a brief moment to see him standing outside the car. she started to walk faster when she heard him yell “Fuck!” his car door slamming a second later. The headlights started to get closer to her, she didn't look at the car or Lee as he passed her briefly before stopping a few yards in front of her. He quickly got out of his car, not even bothering to close the car door. She growled when he started walking towards her. “Sweetie, will you please get back in the car?” He asked, his voice now much more level. “No! go home Sheriff, I can handle myself.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and tried to walk past him. He reached out quickly grabbing her gently by her arms pulling her so she was standing in front of him, she tried to pull out of his grip but he squeezed a little tighter. “I swear Sheriff, if you don’t let me go I will end up goin to jail.” She hissed, ripping her arms out of his clutch, pushing past him. 

Abilene breathed a sigh of relief when a car passed her that wasn't the patrol car. She looked into the car when she heard a woman's voice call her name. “Abilene? What are you doin?” Lily, her roommate, asked, Abilene silently wondered why Lily was out this late, but she was thankful for it at the current moment. “Lily! Are you goin home?” Lily nodded and Abilene glanced back at Lee as she pulled the car door open and got in, thanking Lily for saving her from having to get back into the car with Lee. “When we get home you’re gonna have to tell me what happened.” Lily said as she began to drive. Abilene nodded looking in the side mirror in time to see Lee kick the tire of his patrol car. 

The next morning Abilene went to work at the hardware store, her gloomy mood noticed by Lily who came in to bring her a sack lunch. “What’s up Buttercup? Why the long face?” Lily asked, popping her chewing gum as she leaned on the checkout counter. “I feel horrible for leaving Lee last night, he shouldn’t have yelled but I should have stayed and talked things through with him.” She signed resting her head on her hand. Lily nodded “He pulled up to the station right as I was driving past to come drop off your lunch.” Abilene popped up from the counter, “Can you watch the store for me for a few?” Lily smiled and nodded as Abeline hurried towards the door. “Go get’em tiger.” she yelled. 

Abilene walked into the Sheriff's Department passing by the reception desk. “Hi Miss Abilene, what can I do for you?” Miller, the reception officer asked, Abilene smiled, “Is the Sheriff busy? I need to speak with him.” Miller shook his head and pointed in the direction of Lee’s office, “Last door on the right.” Smiling Abilene walked down the hallway to the office. Knocking on the door softly she heard him say ‘come in’. Lee didn't look up until he heard the office door close, When his eyes met hers he gave her a soft almost apologetic look. “Mornin Sheriff, I have a crime to report.” She said and he bit back a smile, leaning back in his chair. “Oh do ya now? What can I help ya with?” She walked toward his desk sitting in the chair across from him. “Well, I know a girl that might have threatened a police officer last night around 10 o’clock.” Lee nodded “Well Miss Morgan, that's a very serious crime.” Abilene sighed “I know, and I think she feels pretty awful about it.” Lee pushed back from his desk, motioning for her to come over to him. Abilene stood and walked so she was standing in the space between him and his desk. Lee patted his lap and Abilene sat down and circled her arms around his neck. He leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry I yelled at you Darlin. I just didnt want anything to happen to ya and when I saw you comin out of that shit hole it scared me. I don’t know what I’d do without ya.” Abilene kissed him “I’m sorry for leavin you, I should have stayed and talked to you instead of pitching a fit and running off with Lily.” Lee cupped her face and kissed her passionately, she pulled away and Lee looked confused. “I hate to break this up, but I left Lily at the hardware store to come talk to you.” Abilene laughed and Lee smiled “What would ya say to goin for a drive and maybe a milkshake after your shift?” Abilene kissed him again, standing up from his lap “That sounds perfect. I'll see you later Sheriff.”  she winked at him walking out of the office. As she walked back to the store she thought about all the ways they would make it up to each other later tonight. 

[1994sunflower]

You may have mentioned this but I’m new, how did Michael and y/n meet?

it actually has been asked before but i didn't really answer because it was going to be mentioned in one of my stories, however I wasn’t completely clear there either. so let me actually answer it finally lol

so y/n decided to go to study tables for one of her classes (gen chem is her arch nemesis)

and it was at night, like pitch dark out night

which she already hated but it was the only time she had available so she went anyway

she had her backpack and she walked all the way to the building, a bit slowly tbh because while it wasn't that far away from her apartment, she was kind of scared to walk at night alone, even on her campus

but she got there, stayed for about 2 hours and tried to learn as much as she could/take as many notes as possible

and when it was over, she was one of the last people to leave so it turned out she was going to have to walk home alone

if it was possible, it felt like it was even darker outside 

so what does she decide to do?

take the shortcut near the university’s main gym - it was quicker and a little more lit up because of the lights coming from the building

what she didn’t expect was when she was walking along the side of it, someone ran out from one of the shadowy parts

he tripped on his own feet as he darted away but he didn't stop or look back as he ran away

she could only tell he was a student by the backpack still on his shoulders

and she was literally frozen at the sudden-ness of it all with half of mind of running the other way and just finding another route home

but then she saw another movement from the direction the guy had run from

that’s when she saw him

she couldn't really see his face at first, only that he was holding his arm and he was leaning as if he was hurt 

and when she moved forward, because she was needlessly curious and besides -- she was on campus and she had always felt safe on her university’s grounds

she saw that he was about her age, maybe a student too

he was really tall and if she wasn't already terrified, she might've been intimidated by that

it was hard to see him fully because he wore all black and she could see the hints of black lines on against his skin

he was bleeding from a scrape on his face but mostly from a deep cut on his arm

whatever had happened (which you later found out was a fight with someone Michael had been having issues with for a while and where Michael just didn't expect the kid to be armed)

had hurt him 

maybe if you were a different person you would do what your mind was screaming at you to do, to run

but you didnt

and sometimes you wonder if maybe fate was a big reason for that because now that you were older, you couldn't imagine doing what you did back then ever again

all that was running through your mind was that you wanted to have a career in helping people, healing them

and this was a chance to do just that, even if you were years away from your goal

so you stepped forward, really hesitantly but still

“h-hello?”

and when you finally got closer to him, the light finally shone on him enough for you to make out his features

and you’d be lying if you said your heart didn't thump at the sight of him

even bruised and bloody, he was beautiful

he seemed to personify a sense of danger and while you felt your heart beat erratically accordingly, it also seemed to solidify how attractive he was 

but of course you ignored those thoughts

“oh my goodness, are you okay? the hospital’s just...”

a few miles away

but he walked away before you could finish your sentence and that was enough of an answer

no hospitals

but he wasn’t fine so you followed after him, a little faster so you could keep up with his long strides

he was about your age, a fellow student (probably, you didn't recognize him) and you wouldn't just let him bleed when you could help

and eventually you managed to pass him and blocked his path (or as much as you could with your frame)

the way he looked at you

his eyes were so cold, icy and you felt your confidence at being able to convince him shrink even more under his gaze 

you wondered if he was mad at you or if that was just how he looked normally

but you didn't let yourself be bothered by his unfriendly demeanor 

“you’re hurt.” you said as if it wasn't obvious

and when he didn't answer, you still forced yourself to continue 

“I have a kit....I can help bandage those up so it doesn’t get infected.”

you could respect his wishes of not going to the hospital

and when he didn't move or seem the least bit interested in what you had to say, you bit your lip uncertainly “I won't leave you alone until you let me help.”

that wasn't completely true, you were a bit scared of the situation

why was he out in the middle of the night and getting into whatever knife fight he had been apart of anyway? what kind of person was he? but you couldn't bring yourself to ignore someone in need

and finally you were walking side by side with him back to your apartment

you weren't stupid, you weren't going to show him what number you lived at but your building was big, just knowing the place wouldn't be dangerous

he didn't speak the entire time

you weren't even sure if he ever even glanced at you

and yeah, his behavior made you feel as if you were bothering him and it made you just a bit guilty about it 

but as long as he was cooperating with you, that was enough for you

and I mean of course he was glancing at you, even if you didn't realize

he was looking at you in wonder because why was this stranger helping him? it was the first time he could remember a girl had looked at him with anything but fear or arousal

you looked like you didn't know who he was

when you got to your building, you fluttered between him and the entrance 

“I’m just going to get my things but please just wait here. don’t leave, please?” you didn't bother asking him to promise, you had a feeling he wasn't the type to do that

so you ran as fast as you could to your home, got the gauze and kit you kept in case of emergencies and sprinted outside again

you were so grateful that he had done what you asked and was waiting still outside

maybe he wasn't as mean as he looked

and then you were on to work, happy that the skills you had decided to practice on your own time were finally getting used 

you felt like you were a real doctor in those seconds

standing right in front of him as you worked, it occurred to you just how tall he was 

he was looking down at you curiously and if you wanted to gaze into his eyes, you would have to tilt your head back almost all the way

you didn't even reach his shoulders

you eyed his tattoos, never seeing anyone with so many. they were differing in size and your first thought was that it must've hurt to get

he even had some on his neck, which you couldn't really even fathom

part of you wanted to shudder, you’d never met someone like him before 

he was frightening, in more ways than one

but you didn't really mind

and you had a feeling he hadn't met someone quite like you either

you’d be right. 

michael glanced down at your tiny figure with a straight face and couldn't help his interest get piqued 

you didn't seem afraid of him, helping him, even when you seemed so...frail

you weren't the kind of girl he was used to being around but he didn't mind your company at all, you didn't make him feel judged or used

the thought of which was too new for him to be comfortable with

if his silent cooperation was anything to go by, he wasn't nearly as scary as he seemed

he hadn't done anything to you when he had more than ample opportunities

despite yourself, you felt safe

even in the pitch of the dark and with this hurt stranger

in fact, walking with him back home you realized you didn't feel the uneasiness you felt when you walked by yourself to campus earlier that night

michael’s fascination with you seemed to increase when you smiled up at him brightly 

michael had done a lot of things in his life, none of which would have made him deserve someone like you in his life right in that moment

just who were you?

and why had he never seen you before

it was possible you ran in different crowds

he wouldn't be surprised

you didn't seem like the girl to go out partying, he eyed your backpack at that thought

you were pretty though, attractive enough to know he probably would've noticed you if he had seen you before 

but he judging by your upright demeanor, he wasn't sure you would be the type he would've even tried to approach, preconceived notion that you wouldn't mesh well

and then you were packing up your things again, finally done, proud with your work on his bandages, they would hold up just fine

you were fine with him not speaking at all, maybe he was just shy or maybe he really was dangerous and if so, you were just glad you helped without being hurt yourself

“thank you.” 

those were his first words to you

and yes you were shocked

his voice was gravelly but to you it sounded so nice

but when you looked back at him, he didn't look any more friendly than he did before. he still looked silent and stoic 

but your heart warmed anyway at being thanked, at him appreciating your help 

“you’re welcome. I'm just glad you’re okay.”

“i'm michael by the way”

“y/n” you smiled again

and suddenly he didn't want to leave, he wanted to make sure you got into your home safely, wanted to return the favor of protection 

and looking at you, how could he not? you screamed defenseless, too much so for this world, and he knew he could be that defense for you

he wondered how you had gotten to your age and still have the trust and care you still had, how had the awful world not beat out your goodness yet

either way, he was thankful they hadn't 

he had a feeling it would've been a loss to the already fucked up world if it had

“nice to meet you y/n.” he’d never really said that before but he couldn’t help it

and you felt yourself melt

he really was a lot sweeter than he appeared

so sweet you couldn't imagine how he had ended up in the position that he was in when you found him

even if he hadn't smiled once since you met him - you didn't mind that either

you’d made a good decision in helping him 

(one that would change your life, but thats for later)

it was nice to meet you

and he was sure he would do everything in his power that this wouldn't be the last time he saw you

the goodness you radiated was addicting to be directed at him

it was strange for him to think about, unsure of what these thoughts were about

never having experienced them before

but he boiled it just down to interest 

you were cute and he was grateful

that was all

...or maybe it wasn't

but he had had a rough night, saved only by you, and he didn't want to dwell on the other possibilities just yet

[dantelionwishes]

I WANNA HEAR D'S THOUGHTS ON JEN'S QUESTION Spill the beans! You've even got me curious now!

“Do you think Rose is a good person?”

I’ll answer not just Jen’s question, but generally thoughts surrounding D and Rose’s relationship!! It’s gonna be long because I think about this a WHOOOOOOLE lot, and I seriously mean a whole lot,,, so read ahead!

btw, if you think Rose is a bad person and D hates him, that’s where you’re mistaken! IT’S MY STORY MY HEADCANONS SO IF U DONT WANNA READ THIS THEN DONT BRO HJASGJHASHJ

PRE-ETERNATUS, CHALLENGER ARC

Ive mentioned before, but D and the chairman had a fairly good relationship!!

In-game, rose is very interested in the player and talks to you a lot, so honestly not much changes here

D, in his challenger phase, is forcibly very loud and flamboyant. being overly animated and confident, he’s able to keep up with rose who likes to chat and banter with him 

When d talks to people, he KNOWS he’s being over-the-top, which is why he feels very awkward doing it (when people point it out, it makes it painfully awkward and embarrassing for them. Point in case: bede and Marnie!)

Rose finds him a very interesting trainer and observes D a lot. Its not hard to notice how hard he’s trying, but rose doesn’t point this out and genuinely moves along with what D’s vibes are as to not make him feel any more humiliated 

D is aware that Rose is playing along with his act, and thanks to this it really builds up trust like!! Oh the chairman isn’t making fun of me and genuinely finds me interesting and strong!!!! the chairman!! What a morale boost!!!!!! 

Again, its genuinely (funny and) awkward when D is being his over-the-top animated self, and its easy to point this out (which most people do, from his rivals to other trainers, to even gym leaders) but the only people who dont actively point it out AND act along would be his mom, hop, Leon, and rose! 

in addition, D has a pretty high-pitched voice so its easy to tell he’s trans?? He was worried he was going to be misgendered by such an all-important person like the chairman, but was surprised when rose immediately was just comfortable with calling him a “young man”

Another cute trivia thing during this stage was that they both are wearing shades for their “incognito mode” and D even gives the chairman some fashion tips for the next time he goes out!

It actually pisses off bede with how much rose and d talk;;;;;;  def one of the reasons why d and bede fight hhhh

The part of the plot where they head to rose tower, D was actually very against it in the beginning, saying that he could actually just try and call up the chairman if he wanted to! He tries and tries, but then starts to panic once he does in fact realise that something isnt right 

Even after storming thru rose tower and defeating oleana, d eVEN TRIES TO INVITE ROSE TO THEIR DINNER (MY BOY IS THINKIN: A DINNER WITH HIS FAV PPL!! HOP, LEON, AND ROSE!! the only one missing would be his mom) ……….but r-rose dismisses it with a smile, saying maybe next time…………..

D is a meek, insecure person who is easily broken down, so he really needs a lot of support to keep moving sO JUST IMAGINE this baby boy who puts trust in someone suddenly goes batshit and you have to defeat them with ur own hands????? Wowza. 

POST-ETERNATUS, NEWLY APPOINTED CHAMPION

OH BOY EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THIS FUCKIN GOES IF THEY REMEMBER MY FIRST POSTS JHASGJHHJAS

Ive already shown this via an illustration + a short Drabble, but its only after the eternatus battle that their father-son relationship is revealed

The game really doesnt show how serious the eternatus battle was, but for me: Leon was hospitalised for quite some time and wasn’t allowed to battle D until he healed up. At the same time, this gave D a lot of time to think about wHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

I dont mention it, but this is where his gym leader au starts off from the canon timeline!! At this point, D is calling his mom or talking to hop or just locking himself up and is just generally in a panicked state where he feels like dropping out of the challenge, feeling overwhelmed with what just happened

ANYWAY IM HERE TO TALK ABT ROSE AND D but lets just say his Pokemon convince him to continue!!   

at the same time of his win, gossip went around quick and not only is D now very popular for suddenly defeating the unbeatable champion Leon, but is actually the “villainous” chairman rose’s son!??!?!?!??!! 

POOR SON BOY IS OVERWHELMED ONCE MORE, HELP HIM.

He actually escapes to the isle of armour + crown tundra as a way to give him time to think about this more (isle of armour: personal time for himself to think alone, crown tundra: chance to spend time with relatives he didn’t know he had) 

OK GENUINE RELATIONSHIP ANALYZATION TIME:

After becoming champion, he really didnt go see rose at all, feeling a plenty mix of frustration, sadness, anger, betrayal, but!! his feelings dont simply surround the “oh the adult I trusted was actually bad and lied to me“ or “wtf hes the dad who wasn’t there for me and is the reason why mom is alone how dare he” IT REALLY WAS A MIX OF BOTH HGHHGHH

But its BECAUSE he was close to him in the first place that he knows rose wasn’t just….straight up a bad person or a villain

The important part here was that rose and D were close during the challenger part, and our lad had a lot of time to think about how he was simply a good, misguided man

rose is very passionate about the things he cares about, to the point of doing anything and everything for them (ex. Awakening eternatus for Galar’s sake to the point of accidentally getting darkest day, or even working hard for Miriam’s sake to the point of accidentally never being there for her anymore) 

Yeah, d talked to a whole lot of people to think this over. He learned what happened between rose and his mom while talking to her, and D also learned what happened between peony and rose to further understand what’s up!!

In the process, I like to think both Miriam and peony dont hate rose! D was also an important factor in helping the both of them realise and clear up a few things, and at least, in their minds, stay on good terms with rose 

During both DLC arcs, D is silent at first but slowly n surely starts sending small letters to Rose :’))

YAY ACTUAL INTERACTION????

After a lot of thought on his self-journey, its safe to say that D had felt a lot more comfortable, finally talking to rose after the galarian star tournament arc !!

Ive mentioned before, but its not like D has to start from scratch since they had a good relationship as challenger and chairman beforehand anyway

D wants a dad! He does want to meet his dad, and at the same time rose regrets not making time for his lover and future family, so I’d say after pushing away the initial negative awkwardness they do both have the same, genuine goal in mind to talk to each other and build a good relationship with each other!!!!!!

Ive also said before but like ONE OF D’S FEARS IS…..”WHAT IF I MEET MY DAD AND HES TRANSPHOBIC” YKNO???? So knowing that rose already thinks hes already perfect in his eyes, IT REALLY DOES WONDERS TO A YOUNG BOY YKN O ?? ? ? ? ?? 

Uhhhhh honestly I really dont know how jail works and shit sO LETS JUST SAY D VISITS REGULARLY IF HES NOT BUSY WITH CHAMPION DUTIES!!!

Also I have nO idea what oleana means by “WHERE IS CHAIRMAN ROSE” cos like….iSNT HE JUST VIBIN IN JAIL??????? Lets just say he is sdghjjhsdhj

TL;DR

D had a lot, and I mean A LOT, of time to think about Rose. He does not have any ill intentions or feelings towards him, and the two have a hopeful, slowly budding father-and-son relationship. 

[lovelysugawara]

Love me Again

Kuroo X Reader Fanfiction// **y/a = Kuroo Hinari **grammatical errors ahead, sorry guys** plot: you and Kuroo are married, but your husband turns cold over you, because of an incident a year ago. Will he once again love you back???

Cont...

Part 3

_Base on Kenma’s Story…_

After Nekoma’s game, on Hina and Kuroo’s second year, Hina approached Kenma to congratulate him.

“That’s a nice game, Kenma, congratulations!” she gave her a bottle of water.

“I didn’t do much. But thank you.” As he reaches for the bottle water. Hina just smiled at him.

When suddenly Kuroo stood between them.

“Where’s mine?” Kuroo is looking at her.

“Yours?” she asked.

“My water. Where is it?” he insisted.

“Kuro, you have a bottle of water already.” Kenma points out the bottle near their bags.

Kuro pouts, “I don’t want that, it’s not cold by now.”

“But I don’t have any extra. Want me to buy you one, Kuroo-san?” hina offered.

“Extra. Hmmm. No, don’t waste your time.” he said like a mad child.

When suddenly, he snatched Kenma’s water bottle. And he drinks it hurriedly. Kenma and Hina are both stunned at what  they witness.

“Wow, very childish, Kuroo.” Kenma is clearly not pleased with Kuroo’s behavior.

“Hah! It’s finished. Thanks for the water, Hina.” He walks away.

Hina laughs about it. Kenma looks at her with sharp eyes, “And you like that kind of guy, huh?!”

She laughed a lot at his comment.

  As Kenma and Kuroo go home.

“Are you still mad? You’re not even drinking water after a game.” Kuroo still annoyingly explained.

“I’m not mad, I’m focused. I’ll deal with you later.” Kenma said while playing with his psp.

They continue to walk.

“Do you think she’s mad?” kuroo suddenly asked Kenma.

“Why are you worrying about something so trivial? She won’t hate you.” Kenma continued to play.

Kuroo then didn’t answer.

Kenma suddenly stops walking, so is Kuroo. Kenma looked up to see Kuroo’s reaction.

To Kenma's surprise, Kuroo is blushing.

“What are you? Wait-“ Kenma started to speculate.

Kuroo covered his mouth, trying to hide it. “What what?” he said while trying to look away.

Kenma’s eyes squirt a little as he scrutinizes Kuroo.

“YOU LIKE HER!!!” Kenma said it like he’s accusing him of murder.

“Haaaah? What? No!” Kuroo

“You don’t?” Kenma

“…” Kuroo

Kenma just looked at him more. Like he’s trying to read what’s on his mind.

“Right, right. I like her, any problem with that?” Kuroo blushed even more.

“Then tell her!” Kenma then goes back to his game and starts walking.

“Hey. It’s not that easy…”

  *present time*

“Is that enough?” Kenma asked me about how he managed to once again tell that story for the nth time to me, and I have to admit, I’m very much happy.

I still have the reason to stay, didnt I? 

After a few chitchat.

“I’m going to Kuro’s office. I got to give her some papers. Want to come with me?” I was actually stunned. I don't know but it’s been awhile since i went there. Should i? Well maybe i should do that.

“Do you mind if i cook something for his lunch?” I’m really excited to try to cook something for him.

“Well if you say so. Go cook, I’ll play games here while waiting.” he then gets his phone and starts to play games.

I cooked him the usual. And I think how many times I practice I’m still not that good.

Kenma also looks at the bento box I made.

“What do you think? Is it edible?” I laugh nervously. 

“Why do you think it isn’t edible? It looks fine. And it looks delicious.” Kenma made sure to compliment my artwork here. I sighed, what will be my husband’s reaction about this.

As we enter the building, my heart won’t stop beating. Long ago, I was always excited to pay him a visit at work. Because he likes an unexpected visit. But now I wonder. Will he look excited seeing me here again?

Kenma’s POV

I have a feeling that something isn’t right on Hina.

As I remember very well, she always wants me to tell the story of the past when they are in bad terms. Or something happened more than that. 

Hinari is not good at hiding. 

After she had a miscarriage, i felt bad going away. I feel sorry for her. And I don't want to see that Hinari again. Full of sadness and feeling miserable. 

Now I wonder what happened.

She’s been restless when we step foot on the building.

After I opened Kuro’s office door, I knew in an instant what could be the problem. Hina stops abruptly as we see Kuroo talking so closely to a woman who almost wears nothing. Seeing the shocked Hina, this is the very first time in my whole life that I wanted to punch my best friend.

Hina didn’t say anything, she’s shocked. And the bastard didn’t even notice the door opened.

I step forward, to hide Hina at my back.

“Compose yourself, I know you don’t want to deal with this for now. Calm down.” I tried to be as calm as I could. 

Kuro almost jumps when his eyes finally meet mine. 

“K-Kenma!” He almost pushed the woman aside, as if nothing happened. 

“Wow man! When did you arrive?” so he casually brushed off the fact I saw him flirting?

I hope Hina is fine now.

“I just arrived a few hours ago. Me and your wife brought you your lunch.” Please, I hope Hina is fine. 

Kuro’s eyes widened seeing Hina at my back.

“Hello Tetsu! I made you lunch.” I saw her smiling so widely, and her voice was somehow very high pitch. I know she’s trying to hide her hurt feelings. 

“O-Oh, H-Hina. You are here too.” Kuro’s voice suddenly changed. As if he’s not happy?

“I brought your lunch. It’s been awhile since i made one for you.” she played coolly, smiling as if she didn’t see anything. Hina, are you really okay?

“B-but i already ate lunch. Ms. Mayuri cooked food for the team.” 

And that girl is named Mayuri huh. 

“Is that so?” Hina said.  

I saw her slowly lose her smile. And even put back the bento box on her bag.

“I guess we got here so late.” she smiled again. Isn’t she smiling too much?

I look at her, it’s like looking at someone who’s been rejected. And Kuro should just accept it, that’s the right thing to do right? She’s his wife, he should at least appreciate her effort on going here and cooking for him.

“Well I’ll get going then, Tetsu, Kenma.” said as she smiled at us. And then she walks out.

I looked at Kuro, and he didn’t even bother asking to walk her out. 

Seriously, what is happening.

**A/N updates every FRIDAY..**

[despairofthefuture]

Gundham, do you know any kind of magic or something to protect yourself from Mukuro? I doubt she can hurt you, but you may still want to keep her away from you and the others

Gundham's gaze doesnt waver from the ghost of Mukuro, who has frozen at being seen. She slowly turns and meets the breeder's gaze.

Hiro looks between them anxiously, his eyes wide with worry. "M-Mukuro!" He stutters out. "Gundham, that's her! I-I dont know what she's planning, but you have to stop-"

"Quiet." Gundham interrupts him with a low voice, surprising the clairvoyant into silence. Without breaking his gaze from Mukuro, he takes a step towards her. "You have no power here, vile spirit. Whatever it is you wished to gain from me, I have no desire to give it to you."

The window in the room suddenly flies open, and a harsh gust of wind blew through, extinguishing all of the candles in the room and leaving it pitch black.

Hiro yelps at this, jumping back as the wind settled. "W-what happened?!"

"A simple protection incantation." Gundham replies, walking towards his wall and flipping the switch, allowing light to sill the room once more.

Hiro looks back to the bookshelf and sighs in relief seeing Mukuro was gone. "So, like...what exactly did that freaky spell do?"

Gundham frowns at the description of the spell, but answers nonetheless. "I simply made it so she is not allowed to enter my room nor take anything I own without my permission." He looks over to his books. "I felt it important to do so, considering had she managed to cipher through my tomes, she may have found spells that would be helpful for her, but not for us."

Leon nods. "Sounds about right, but it's not like she could pick em up anyway, right?"

Gundham gives the baseball player a puzzled look. "...Spirits can pick up objects, they just cannot interact with humans." He tilts his head. "You yourself are a spirit. How did you not know this?"

Leon blinks, then chuckles awkwardly.

The self proclaimed Overlord of Ice looks over to the shimmering spirit, then over to the very confused, but very intrigued, looking Sonia. "Ah. Of course. My apologies, mistress." He apologizes, his face a light pink. "If you would like, I can perform the same ritual I used on myself on you?"

Sonia immediately nods enthusiastically. "Yes, please! I would like that very much!"

~~

After the candles had been relit and the lights dimmed once more, Gundham had Sonia read from the book. After the same theatrics as before, Sonia opens her eyes and smiles wide as she looks at Leon and Chihiro.

"Oh, this is wonderful!" She cheers. "How interesting! My first spiritual encounter!"

Gundham chuckles softly at this, smiling at her. Leon raises a brow at this and smirks.

"So now that we have these two on our side, what do we do next?" Chihiro speaks up. "We've already stopped Junko from getting to Ryota-hopefully-so should we go back looking for this Hajime?"

"It would be a good idea." Leon said with a nod. "The spirits have been warning us about him from early on, so he must be important as hell." He looks to Hiro. "You think he might still be hanging out with Chiaki?"

Hiro opens his mouth to respond when he hears a soft ding. He blinks and pulls out his phone. His eyes widen slightly in surprise to see a message from 'Ryota' on the school's personal message system.

Ryota: Hiro, I had to look you up on the school site to find you, but this is an emergency. Please answer!

Hiro bites his lip and quickly responds.

Yasuhiro: Wat? Wat happend?!

It didnt take long for Imposter to respond.

Ryota: Hajime came to meet Chiaki like normal, but when they went to play games he began talking down on himself and how he has no talent. Chiaki tried to tell him not having a talent was fine, but he walked off in a huff. She told me you were looking for him. Did you see him in your vision?! Is something going to happen to Hajime?!!

Yasuhiro: Stay right there! Ill b there asap!

The clairvoyant quickly pocketed his phone and began rushing out of Gundham's room.

"Has something occured?" The breeder questioned, following behind with Sonia following him.

"Yes. Yes, something has!" Hiro says quickly. "I think we're about to have the creation of Izuru on our hands if we dont do something right now!"

The others look at each other for a moment before quickly following the panicking fortune teller.

In their distress, none of them noticed the pig tailed eavesdropper at the other end of the hall, an annoyed grimace on her face as she turns on her heel and leaves.

Sonia Nevermind can now hear you! She is open for questions!

A/N: Sorry it's been so long! I had friends from out of state visit, and then writers block is my arch nemesis lol. I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I have a lot of things planned! 😈

[kotalefanzu]

Pitch Pearl  ATUS AU- Part 3

ahahaha. i finally came back to wite the finale. WOOOO. im still sorry about waiting so long oof.

where we last left off, danny had a dream about phantom, in which he tells him about the creation of the natural portals. he leaves danny, saying that he’ll come running back soon enough. when he wakes up, jazz tells him that sam and tucker have gone missing.

danny takes a second to process that information along with the dream and his brain just shuts down. he goes on autopilot, acting like he didn’t hear a word she just said. jazz tries to snap him out of it to get some sort of reaction but when she actually looks him in the eyes, filled with exhaustion, fear, and helplessness, she realizes that he doesn’t need any more things to worry about and goes to tell their parents not to bother him. 

when she leaves, he blankly goes through the motions as he normally would. just like before this all happened. he checks his phone with slight hope that they may have tried to contact him, but after realizing he spent ten minutes just staring at it, he puts it away and doesn’t check it again. the walk to school is nothing but a stream of consciousness and he doesn’t even really feel awake anymore. everyone is just a blur while his brain refuses to process anything around him. 

he gets to class, looks at his friends’ desks, and notices two cleanly carved DP symbols on them. it makes him start giggling a little, then laughing loudly, before he sinks to the ground crying out of frustration and overload.

a town meeting is called in the middle of school. the missing children line up with the new influx of ghost sightings and they want to check to see if any more kids have gone missing. someone points out the danny got taken last and the two missing children were his friends. others bring up the lunchroom incident and start pestering him with questions, seeking answers. danny waits for his family to quiet everything down before explaining everything from his first day in captivity all the way to last night’s dream. many people want to push the blame onto danny for painting a target on their heads and force him to deal with it on his own while others want to use danny as a bargaining tool to save their lives.

the fentons reject every suggestion and say that the most important thing here to do if to protect the children and find a way to defeat the ghosts now that blocking their way into the human realm is no longer an option. they explain that giving danny up might be a trap if phantom was able to kidnap sam and tucker but didn’t head straight for danny. he is told to safe and not try anything.

the GIW are called in to work on locating one of the portals and storming the ghost zone to rescue the missing children. danny is desperate to help and spends most of his time reliving unwanted memories just to give any form of information that might be helpful. after a while they send him away to try getting back to normal life as he needs a form of distraction. 

at lunch, he is cornered by the other teens who ask if he is really just going to sit there and do nothing. danny is hesitant to lead more children into the ghost zone where they could be hurt, but they are determined and at this point, he is willing to risk it. after stealing a bunch of weapons from his parent's old weaponry vault, he finds a natural portal and opens it. they get sucked into it and arrive in the courtyards of phantom’s keep.

the ectoplasm flooding his system is mildly overwhelming but he pushes through it and begins guiding everyone to the dungeons where they would probably be kept. he notices while navigating that strangely everything is the same as it ws before he left, from to the decor to the guard rotations. when they reach the dungeons, sam and tucker aren’t there. it confuses him. he tries to think about where else phantom could have put them and a small voice whispers, ‘check your old wing’. its actually easier to sneak back to his old wing due to all the times he has snuck in and out of it. while the rest of the group aren’t so used to the routes, following him makes it a lot easier. waiting in the common room of the wing are sam and tucker, posed like lifeless dolls and dressed in clothing uncomfortably similar to what danny once wore, though less extravagant. their skin is pale and lifeless and their eyes are glowing

perched on their heads are silvery circlets. danny motions for the rest of the group to stand behind him. sam and tucker slowly turn to look at them and another battle breaks out.

its obvious from how they are fighting that while they wont strike to kill danny, they dont care about sparing the rest. the group slowly works out a system of one half distracting sam while the other go to hold down tucker and remove the circlet. as soon as it comes off, the glow from his eyes fades and he stills like they pushed his power button. with one less person constantly firing at them, its a lot easier to do the same for sam as she can’t fight them all off. dash and kwan take up carrying the limp, unconscious people and they make off with their battle spoils to the portal. 

danny reopens the portal and makes sure everyone gets through, doing a headcount. when he is sure everyone is accounted for and out of the ghost zone. he thanks them and seals it, locking them in the human realm with him on the other side.  

it takes a while for the group to finally tell someone what happened and they start fearing how to explain to the two dead to the world people who still haven’t woken up yet. they finally fess up when jazz drives by and asks where danny is. they silently just show her sam and tucker and watch the emotions flicker rapidly on he face. in the end she settles on heartache and gives a weak smile, telling them that she’s glad they are back but wishes they could have brought her brother back as well. she is more forgiving when they explain that it was his decision and they didnt have time to stop him before it was too late.

back in the ghost zone, danny stares blankly at the sealed portal, wondering if he should just step through now before its too late. just as he reaches out his hand, he gets pulled in a tight embrace as phantom laughs in his ear. 

“What did I tell you, Starlight. You would come running back into my arms soon enough. Let’s go back home. You’ll find I didn’t change anything when you left. We can go right back to how it used to be before. Like you never ran away from me.”

he stays huddled up in his room for most of the time, only coming out when phantom wants him to accompany him on an errand or when he has to attend meetings with phantom. the faces are familiar. he made a few friends during his captivity and while the circumstances are grim, its pleasant to see them again. 

for starters, clockwork was a common face when danny began getting incredibly homesick. phantom had requested danny be allowed to view the present of his ‘loved ones’ lives and he had spent every moment he could watching them throughout the day and making sure they were fine. clockwork also had hilariously awful puns, though they werent allowed to actually say them anymore after phantom got jealous and forbade them from speaking to danny. danny still carried the one-sided conversations and it seemed to cheer clockwork up from the decree. princess dora, now queen dora, was also a good friend of his, often discussing with him the pain of living with overbearing nobility. she had done a double-take when he approached her and sat him down to calmly ask what happened, though he could see the tension laced through her. after recounting she took a long sip of her tea and looked him in the eyes. she told a seemly random story of her exploring her kingdom and hearing a bard singing about how the mighty dragon princess stole the dragon king’s crown and the mighty dragon queen took her dear brother down. the piercing look in her eyes before she moved to a new topic told him more than enough.

the few moments of reprieve they offered was not enough to outdo the lappet treatment of phantom that allowed for no rejection, but it was something and it was all he could ask for.

sam and tucker wake up finally after being in a coma for two days. after scanning the room filled with their classmates, parents, and the fenton family, they quickly realize the only one not there that should be is danny. sam is the first one to speak, immediately yelling at them for trading them for danny and going off about how they need to go back for him as soon as possible. dash defends them by telling her that its not their fault danny closed the portal before any one of them could drag his skinny self sacrificing ass through it. they cant reopen it without him.

sam quiets down after that and tucker takes out asking all the questions he can think of to find a way to fix this. there has to be a way to reopen the portal.

(a cut back scene to danny interacting with phantom. im not good with writing abuse mixed with love very well so go ahead and use your imaginations okay uwu)

sam and tucker also end up secluding themselves and working nonstop on trying to figure out how to save danny. jazz stops by every day to check on them and pass on homework and anything she hears about the ghosts to them. while they start cleaning up the room to take a break and finish schoolwork, sam trips on a piece of paper and is about to fall. only she is caught in mid-air and surrounded by a neon lime green aura, one similar to danny’s though his is a bluish mint. the aura dissipates and she hits the ground with a soft thud but everything stops as tucker and her look at each other in shock. 

“That was you!”

“That was me!”

homework gets pushed aside again for experimentation and documenting. they might be able to reopen the portal after all.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Doctor of laughter /Arthurs POV

This is my version of the scene at the childrens hospital and the scene in the phone booth/ Arthurs POV

Doctor of laughter

Name: Dr Arthur

Department: Laughology

Speciality: Baloons

Ironic when you think about it. If not even funny.

They call me doctor of laughter here. Not knowing that I needed to visit the doctors because of my laughter for so many times in my not so funny life. Or maybe it was funny, if you have a really dark sense of humor.

But well, those kids here in the cancer ward don`t know about this and I`m glad they don`t. They shouldnt know that Dr Arthur is more of a patient himself as he is a doctor. My work name as a partyclown is Carnival but the guy who printed my card just used my real name which is also fine because it always melts my heart when one of the kids calls me Dr Arthur. It just feels so personal and makes me feel needed. Like I`m truly fulfilling my purpose here. Maybe I didnt managed to bring laughter and joy to this world, not even to Gotham but here in this hospital room the magic is happening. I`m the man I want to be. Here in this small room, filled with these kids who know what suffering and lonelyness means I can do something right. Here in this ward I`m living my dream. Making people happy. The kids just know and feel that this is who I am and why I am here for. they feel it. And they need to feel it because they need a moment of happiness just as much as I do.

I look at their faces and you can tell that they have been through so much. I just want to give them a glimpse of joy. Even if its not inside of myself, especially because it isnt. But seeing them smile, even for just a second makes me think that I felt it too. For a small moment there was this  glimmer inside. The taste of doing something that has a purpose.

I wonder how many of them are lonely. Not just now here at the hospital but when they`re at home. I wonder if any of those kids feels missunderstood or left  by their parents like I did. Or worse. I wonder if any of them will come up to me some day and say "Dr Arthur. I need someone to talk to."

I look at their faces and wonder if they are loved by their families. And I hope they are, wondering how they will feel when they`re back home. Some days in my life, I felt saver in a hospital bed. Which tells so much about life at home. I hope none of those kids feels better here than with their families. I look at each one of the faces. Trying to take a look behind the tiredness that comes with the chemo. Do they look like they areren`t loved by their family? How did I look as a kid? Could you tell?

I love the way they look at me while I am doing my little performance to "If you happy when you know it". It is so much easier to make kids smile. I`d love to have kids myself one day. I´ll be the clown daddy. Just imagin my child`s friends would go "What your daddy is a clown? For real? Thats so cool! He should come visit us on our birthday!" And of course I would be there and do their make up so all kids on the party would be clowns and thats just too adorable to think of.

Yeah I sometimes do dream about this, but thats another story. I dont think I will be a dad in the near future. But maybe I could be something close to a dad to Sophies daughter Gigi.

"If you happy and you know it wiggle your ears" I touch my ears and move my lips to the music that plays from the cassette player . Sometimes I also sing along for real because I couldnt help it. I have a thing for singing and dancing. Some of the kids touch their ears too. Some others sing the lyrics. And some are just too shy or weak to do more than just sit and watch. I try my best to look at everyone of them. No child should feel left out. Thats another really important thing for me,too. To not let any kid feel ignored. Ignorance is hell and I dont want to do this to anyone. Imagin there is this one really shy kid in the corner and you almost didnt notice because you are distracted by the other kids who are closer to you, singing. And the next night this kid might lie awake in the hospital bed, wondering why Dr Arthur, the friendly clown wouldnt even look him or her in the eyes. I just cant stand this thought. So I look at each one of them every single time. Try to animate them. I wanna be a good memory.

"If you happy and you know it and you really wanna show it...."

The word happy can be a trigger for me. Because thats the name my mum gave to me. The most unfit name in the world.

"....if your happy and you know it wiggle your ears" I turn to the kid sitting on the chair beside me and knee down. The doctor standing by the window is looking at the kids face. I guess it feels good to her to see the kid smile, finally. It made her grin too.

This makes me feel energetic like, I really get lost in my little dance for a second. Wearing the white  hospital clothes felt weird in the beggining. They reminded me of Arkham and I asked the doctors if I really have to put them on. But they explained to me that this has a good effect on the kids.They feel like I am one of them when wearing the same clothes and I coudnt say no to that.

"If you`re happy and you know it stomp your feet...." I turn to the other side, spinning around, lift my hands up in the air. Even the other doctor has joined singing. This job is the only thing in my life that I dont hate.

".....If your happy and you know it and you really want to show it , if you happy and you know it stomp your feet."

I do. I do stomp my feet. Forgetting that I keep the gun under my clothes.

It makes a noise falling right to my feet. My reaction is fast. A high pitched scream is escaping my red painted lips. I remember this trick when comedians try to pick something up and it just keeps slipping away. Maybe I can make it look like a part o my act.

This wasnt planned or was it? Is there any chance I thought this would be funny when I left the house to go to work? Why did it fell out so easily? I can`t remember. But it surely doesnt feel good now.

Anyway, I pick up the gun and hide it under the hospital clothes, acting like I`m a bit embarrassed but gigglelish about what happened. I press my index finger to my lips and chuckle. Most of the kids look more than surprised, but then there is this lttle girl standing right in front of me is forming her hand to a gun and points it at me. I really like her.

Half an hour later I find myself in a phone booth taking to my chef. No good news are on the way.

"Hoyt, please! I love this job!"

I mean this as I say it. This job is important to me. Its a motivation after waking up. Knowing that there are sad faced kids I can make laugh again. I even try to ignore my workmates bullying me and all. I just want to go to hospitals and kids partys and be Dr Arthur or the birthday surprise. He cannot take this away from me. I hope he is bying my lie of the gun being fake. I wish Randall wouldnt have given it to me in the first place. I just knew that this is not going to end well. Why did he do this to me? Is this what he intended? Was this Randalls plan all along? Getting me fired by knowing that something would happen involving the gun?

Hoyt asks me why I brought a gun into the kids hospital and I explain to him that its a prob, a part of my act now. he doesnt belive me, raises his voice. "Thats bullshit, bullshit. What kinda clown carries a fucking gun? Besides Randall told me you tried to buy a 38 off him last week."

I knew it. I just knew there was something up with Randall giving me his gun. Him claiming I tried to buy it off him is proof enough. Its all lies. All lies. As if I would have wanted this damn thing. I told him I`m not supposed to have a gun and he still gave it to me, claiming to be worried about me being attacked out on the steets.  Nice try, Randall. I bet you hoped I would kill myself with it by accident. But losing my job is just as good for you. Now you dont have to deal with my laughter anymore.

"Randall told you that?"

I cant belive this is happening right now. I cant belive he is beliving in Randalls words instead of what I am trying to tell him.

"You`re a fuck up, Arthur. And a liar. You`re fired!"

Hoyt hangs up the phone.

This is a nightmare.  The only good thing I had in my life just ended.

I put my head to the cold glass of the phone booth and bang my forehead against it. The glass is cracking. I know there is a sharp pain but I can`t even feel it.

[naptoons]

Triggered-Joel Pimentel

warnings: Sexual Content, Cheating,Mild Language, Alcohol reference.

Theme: Angst

A/N: this is a part two of story of us , this is requested by @cncogirl18 ! i hope it’s great and it meets your request!. Read the first part here!

joel and i have been getting more and more distant for the past 2 years. sometimes i blame it all on tour, sometimes i blame it all on maybe he’s cheating. maybe hes fallen out of love with me. but to be honest i blame it all on me. i pushed him away because im not ready for the limelight. im not ready for the flashing cameras and gosspi pages. most dont even know what i look like, they just thought i was a fanpage commenting under his posts all the time. some he didnt respond to so it didnt look so obvious.it’s been on my mind all day, even my friends noticed it, urging me to go home and talk to him about it. but i cant. maybe  cant because im afraid of the answer.

 leaning back in my chair picking at the peeling skin on my thumbs. debating going to joel’s apartment or heading to the party richard invited me to for his daughter. i might as well go home first, maybe get a nap. getting up from the chair, i grab my keys to his aprtment, heading for the door.

arriving at his apartment i walk in the house,hearing the noise of heavy breathing and muffled moans. the grunts that only i would know. but apprantly im not the only one whom knows it. biting the bullet of crying, i walk towards the living room dropping the keys in the bowl. after today i dont think i wanna come back. walking past the room to the bathroom i hear the voice of someone farmilar.

“i told you, you never loved her, you’d come back to me papi” emlila swoons him in, joel sighs with his feet shuffling against the carpet “why cant you admit it?!” she yells at him “she is nobody anyways why do you care so much?” feeling anger in my broken heart i swing the door open, gritting my teeth against my jawline, the atomsphere turning colder than stone.

“yeah joel, im fucking nobody” i choke through my clogged airways

“baby-” cutting him off i smack his hand away from my frame, i grab my back packing all of things “bre listen it didnt mean anything!” his voice breaking and pleading to get my attention, joel grabs my arm but i push him back making him hit the edge of the dresser groaning in immersed pain. but i feel no remorse.

“if it meant nothing why the fuck did you do it?!” i yell through the tears, i tried to be strong. to not cry in front of him. he didnt deserve my tears, he didnt deserve anything from me at this moment. “get the fuck away from me joel, i never want to see your fucking face ever again” grabbing my packed bag i place it on my shoulders before stepping out the room, i look back at emailia to see her smiling.

“you think you have everything right now, but if he did this to me, what makes you think he wont do it to you?” i pour my venom on her, her smile slowly falling flat and changing into anger “misery loves company, i hope you guys are miserable together karma is a bitch” with my words i feel my shoulders become lighter, running downstairs i hear joel yelling my name behind me, getting to the front door i slam it behind me getting in my car.

“what a fucking fool i am” i breathe out “thinking we could ever be something, neither of us was ready” i grab my phone calling lunay as i back out of his driveway, the tears begin to roll down my cheeks clouding my vision all i can see if dots of red and white lights.

“hola mami” lunay’s voice hones in on my ears. insatly my voice cracks trying to keep it together, i just break down and cry gripping the steering wheel as my knuckles drain the blood from them. “hey bre are you okay? where are you?”

wiping my face i inhale heavily “joel cheated on me” i let out “can i come over?” i ask, before hearing the answer all that fills my ears is the skid of tires on the road, and the reverb of a collision. The vision I once had colored like a void.

Pitch dark.

Opening my eyes to the angelic light, I groan as it burns my cornea, covering them with my fingers I sigh heavily. “Welp I guess that’s a sign to use night mode” I let out, slowly regaining my eyesight looking over at a puzzled wreck of a cousin. Smiling slightly I reach for his hand “hey, what’s got you so tangled up Charlotte?”

“You’ve been unconscious for three weeks, that’s what, and get a better joke that was corny” Christopher smiled slightly at the end, but I could tell that smile was fake. “And I’m wondering should I kill someone” his voice taking the form of malice.

“If you were to do that you couldn’t see your precious cousin” I smile followed by his scoff “wouldn’t say precious” he insults me. Lunay walls into the room sighing of relief “wow, did y’all really think I was going to die?” I laugh “y’all had no hope for me huh? What a sha...” getting my sentence cut off by his hug around my neck, I smile softly my fingers rubbing his back. “Hey you” I let out. He must’ve been so worried.

Lunay has been taking care of me for a whole month. I had to go to recovery, I lost a little bit of feeling in my legs so I started walking little by little, they also recalled my brain is a little fuzzy prior three minutes before the crash. Sadly it didn’t make me forget I got Joel cheating on me. With the girl who tried to break us up even before a label. I guess she got what she wanted. I haven’t seen or heard from Joel since that day. Part of me wants to reach out. But another part says “fuck him he pushed you away” tapping on the bow empty cereal bowl I hear the chunks of shoes hitting the floor.

“Aye mami, you okay?” Lunay rubs my shoulders, moaning at the tension in my body I nod my head slightly “are you sure? I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on”

“Hm no I’m tired of crying, I’m moving on now”

“Aye nena! That’s right, you can do better” he encourages me. Lunay was throwing a party at his house tonight for a celebration on winning an award. I joined in even though Lunay told me I didn’t have to I just couldn’t be soaking in my sadness. It’s not going to fix anything so what’s the point of moping? Grabbing the drink on the counter I gulp it in one shot feeling it burn down my throat rapidly. Every cnco member was here but Joel. Made me wonder is he trying to avoid me? Why should he? He cheated on me he shouldn’t have any shame he knew what he got himself into. He shouldn’t have any shame it’s what he wanted anyways.

Drinking down another shot Richard furrows his eyes at me smiling I wave at him “what’s up Richard? You scared to drink?” I ask him

“Scared of you drinking, I don’t think you’re in the right headspace to be drinking nena” his lips fall in a flat line leaning against the counter, grabbing the bottle of liquor I grab my red solo cup this time.

“I think I’m just fine, I can’t sit around here and fucking waste my time in being sad, it’s been a whole month Richard, im fine” I crack open the cranberry juice to fuse with the liquor. “So stop worrying about me okay?”

“I’m worried about the both of y’all, hoping neither of you collapse first” Richard mumbles while walking away, I wanna ask him what that was about but I’m stopped by Lunay. With the biggest smile on his face.

“Hey? You good having fun?”

“Never better! Let’s dance” grabbing his hand with my left I sip with my right, everyone was bumping and grinding on their designated partner. Everyone here was having a great time. No one had a mask on themselves. Drinking, smoking falling in love in his backyard. Five cups down and the world was spinning. Taking off shoes and dancing on tables. I was dancing it away.

The pain away. Fuck it still hurt.

But there’s always three sides to a story.

His. Mine. And the side neither of us talked about.

Giggling on the couch I lay my head on christopers shoulder “hey cousin how are you?” I slur followed by a hiccup “I haven’t seen you since the hospital what are you up to these days?” My face felt hot and was probably showing hues of red. Maybe even pink.

“Babysitting two broken people is what” Christopher groans, he was rarely serious so this caught me off guard. Being to drunk to even ask I hug him.

“Aye, there’s no use in worrying, you gotta have a hurricane before the rainbow, I’ll be okay I promise”

“I hope so, we don’t want any more collateral damage” he hums in my ear.

The party was over and I watched as the few people that stayed over, Lunay was cleaning up trash until he saw me laying in the couch. “Mami, go to bed, or would you like me to drive you home?”

“Id rather not be alone” I mumble, almost throaty, suppressing the cries I want to let out. I can’t I’m done crying. I’ve been doing it for a whole month.

“Hey” he bends down to my level, running the pads of his thumb on my cheek “you’re never alone I promise” his eyes twinkled in love, I’m feeling the same way I did towards Joel. How can this be true? Have I moved on that quick?

Richard went back to Joel’s apartment, just as he was about to knock on the door, emailia opens it, her face showing signs of panic. “Wheres joel?” She asks

“And you think I would tell you? Plus that’s why I’m here to see was he here” Richard smugly answers

“So wait, hes not with you?” emailia asks

“Nope” Richard grabs his phone dialing his number, but to his demise it goes straight to the voicemail. Richard mumbling a soft curse word under his breath. “His phone is off”

“Oh my god fuck” she paces while chewing on her thumb, Richard looks at her with no sympathy but he just knew his mind had to ask.

“So what lie did you tell him hm?” emailia turns around on her heels looking back at him dumbfounded

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me I didn’t stutter, Joel is completely and utterly in love with bre, what did you say?!” Richard snaps are her, feeling Christopher pull him back slightly, “rich calm down”

“I didn’t tell him anything! He told me he felt bre was fading from him, and the more he tried the more she pulled, all I said was maybe she found someone else”

“Then took his sadness as your advantage to comfort him” Richard spits, walking away slowly

“You know damn well I love him!”

“If you did he wouldn’t be in this situation” Richard mumbles before getting in the car. “So? How are we going to find Joel?”

“We can’t, he’s been so secretive lately. Who knows where he is, the only thing I can think of is just wait for band practice or for him to come home” Richard sighs heavily “this is a fucking hurricane”

The bright sun beams on my eyelashes, squirming I feel a arm wrapped around my waist and the feeling of a chin in my shoulder. Slowly lifting the covers I gaze upon our naked bodies entwined together. Sighing and softly cursing to myself I sink my head deeper in the pillow.

Lunay and I hooked up.

Drunk hookup.

Slowly getting up from the bed I grab my clothes putting them on one by one. Until a hear a husky groan “good morning” he mumbles, my luck. Smiling I make it back to the bed sitting in front of him.

“Good morning” I whisper back

“How you feeling?” He asks

Embrassed.regretful.sad.

“Good, I had a good sleep”

“I imagine so” he jokes, getting up from the bed slowly “look bre, I don’t wanna be your rebound, I know this is the worst timing but, I’ve had a crush on you for the longest, and seeing how broken you are hurts me” freezing at his sudden words I looking down at the my tangled up fingers, “I want you to find what you mean to yourself, I want you to fix yourself, even if that means talking to him again”

“Lunay, I can’t even look him in the eyes and not want to cry”

“So? Isn’t better than wondering and drinking alcohol, not to mention losing your mind not knowing what to do” Lunay grabs my hand kissing my knuckles softly “bre, you deserve love okay? Don’t think that there won’t be someone out there for you”

Nodding my head I decided to face him head on. To talk about the problems I’ve never discussed.

Arriving at Joel’s apartment my stomach drops in depths. Never thought I’d come back here. Having ptsd just by looking at the snowflake walls, the way his plants on his patio are slowly decaying. He really isn’t doing to well just like me. Why is this so hard on him? I’m the one that should be triggered.

Knocking on the door I wait for his answer, the door swings open, smelling like a strand of weed. “Richard I told you-” his sentence is cut off by the sight of my eyes glued in his. “What are you doing here?”

“To talk” I answer

“What is there to talk about, I made you look stupid” Joel sighs

“yeah you’re fucking right you made me look like a fool, but I can’t blame you, maybe I pushed you towards that resort, not saying what you did was okay, but maybe the way I treated you inflicted this” I sigh leaning against the wall “can I come in?”

Joel opens the door for me to come in, closing the door behind me I see the mess his living room is in, I see the empty beer bottles and burned out half blunts. The edibles wrappers over the floor. Looking back at joel I see his hand is wrapped in a gauze. What has he been going through? I grab a bag as I start picking up his trash, “no it’s okay I’ll clean it up” Joel suggests but I grab his hand leading him to the couch.

“Let me help you, let someone help you okay? We gotta stop shoving people out” I stammer through my tears. Finish with cleaning up the mess, Joel and I sit on opposite sides of the couch.

“I’ve had two boyfriends in my lifetime, and when it got past two years, shit just started going downhill, one was abusive and one was a pathological liar and a drug addict” I start off, Joel’s eye filling to the brim with water, with just one touch they would pour down his lips. “It’s tiring opening and closing parts of me just to repeat the cycle, and when you cheated on me, I just saw you as the rest, I yelled at you and blamed you, I claimed you ruined everything, I wanted to fight you guys both, knowing she’d probably sue me or charged me with battery”

“In that heat of the moment I was willing to catch a case for it, cause you know me, when I get mad I get big mad, weeks after my accident I was going to call you, maybe even text you but I couldn’t, when I typed on the bubble I Tried my hardest not to disrespect you After what you did, man, what you expected?” My eyes looking at the tearful golden boy, his cheeks and nose were pink, so was his ears, glistening cheeks swelling up at the minute.

“I felt so Triggered, when I hear your name but also I was Triggered, because I am not okay, I was getting drunk partying hooking up with people all because I still missed you, Of our memories All you meant to meAll that history All that's history” my fingers trembling to grab his hand, caressing my thumb over his.

“But ain't no me and you without you in it, so I just wanna say I’m sorry, I pushed you away and made you feel like I didn’t love you, because I now know I do, I really do love you joel” the tears now falling out of his eyes, mirroring mine in the same gesture.

“I’m sorry too, I should’ve never talked to her about our problems, I should’ve came to you, but it isn’t your fault, I was the one who decided to have sex with her in our bed, no matter what I should’ve came and talked to you” Gravelly his voice echos the room, pulling him towards me, I wrap my arms around his head, letting him sob into my hoodie. As I begin to cry along with him.

“We’re both you blame, all we needed was to communicate” my wobbly voice whispers on his ear. “I accept your apology Joel, just promise we won’t run away from each other” feeling his body stop shuttering his head pulls out hovering over me.

“Yeah, I won’t run unless you promise to not run, and let’s better ourselves” Joel sniffs

“I’m not going anywhere, maybe someday we’d could be something more than friends again, you have my heart joel. We just need to fix ourselves before becoming one, but I don’t mind taking it slow with you”

“No labels? Just chilling?”

“Yeah” I smile caressing his face “slow burns”

“Slow burns”

[kweebtrash]

Love is (Not) Easy

Messy Chapter 11

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, 

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: alcohol, a smidge of ptsd, mentions of anxiety attacks/panicking

Features: daddy/mommy kink, rope bondage, heavy teasing, some hair pulling, a little bit of deep throating, panty gag, sex toys, a little bit of masturbation/watching someone masturbate, rough sex, thigh high kink, thigh fucking, cumshot, protected and unprotected sex, car sex,

Word Count: 14k

A/N: Johnny and Eri get into a bunch of positions in this one sooo....i hope it comes out clear enough where they’re situated. Try not to send asks with spoilers guys! I want to give people the chance to catch up! also this one is shorter than usual so let me know if you have some feedback.

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Johnnys POV

It was the same bar and club that I performed at surprisingly enough. I knew this place like the back of my hand and it was packed as all hell. I wondered if it was because Eri's band was drawing the crowd or if it was because of the holiday. Either way I was excited to see them perform but for whatever reason I couldn't seem to find them anywhere. I even had Quinn and Jae look with no luck. We had been here for two hours, suffering through terrible bands and trying to be a little less sober. It was nearing the allowed time that Eri was set to play and I should have seen them on stage by now. They were still nowhere to be found. All I saw were some roadies switching out equipment and a dude with dreads do a mic check. That was it.

I finished my watered down drink and nudged Jae, telling him that we should start moving to the front. The crowd was starting to file against the stage and i didnt want to be stuck in the back. I adjusted my snapback and pulled up my sleeves. "You guys ready?" Neither of them had been to a metal show before and I was stuck being in charge. Quinn held onto Jae for dear life, looking around like a deer in headlights. I especially didn't want them getting lost in the crowd given how small they were and the potential level of rowdiness that was to come. "Alright, hold onto me and just shove through. Use your elbows, got it?"

"Are we fucking going to war?" Jae asked.

I sighed. "Not until you get into the pit."

"Like the mosh pit?!" Quinn squeaked.

"Don't worry. I won't let you get tossed in. Cmon, follow me."

Quinn held onto the back of my shirt, staying safely between Jae and I as I started shoving my way through the crowd. There were still some gaps in between the crowd and I was able to get through to the front, not exactly against the stage but it was good enough to see things clearly. I saw a drummer start positioning himself behind the kit. The show seemed like it was about to start and I couldn't help but feel ecstatic. A bassist and the guy with the dreads came next, holding their guitars. Then I finally saw them. They looked incredibly badass even though their outfit was simple. It was a black mini skirt and an oversized white button up with a black tie. That was paired with delicious black thigh highs and scruffed up combat boots that looked like they had seen better days. Their hair was still a gorgeous mane of curls and one side was partially braided to give it a faux undercut look. Their makeup was a smokey purple with dark lipstick that accentuated how full their lips were. I swallowed hard and shifted a bit. I couldn't help it, they just looked so damn hot.

I covered my mouth so no one could see how badly I was biting my lip as I watched their every move. Their hands delicately wrapped around a shot glass that had been placed on their amp and tossed back the brown liquid. It was second nature to Eri and I had seen them do it dozens of times but in this moment it was utterly sensual. The tuned their guitar, caressing the strings and tuning keys. They had a natural born stage presence that was so powerful and commanding that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I thought about getting their attention but I didn't want to seem too desperate. I sat back and decided to watch instead. Eri had the talent to carry their band so I knew it wouldn't be as bad as the others. As dreads guy introduced their band, Eri went to work checking their amp and cords. As they bent over to make sure the settings of the amp were where they wanted them to be, I could see the tops of their thigh highs. My stomach lurched and i felt like a teenager with how pathetically horny i was acting. I tried to shake it out of my body and take some deep breaths to calm myself. I felt like an idiot and was ready to kick myself. The beginnings of "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance started, taking me back to my middle school days. All the tension in my body dissolved and I actually chuckled a bit. This really was emo night. I expected the guy with the dreads to start singing since he was in front of the center mic but Eri was the one that opened their mouth. 

Jae, Quinn, and I exchanged looks as we were shocked to hear a slightly husky and gritty voice instead of something more feminine. Quinn had a bright smile on their face, cheering loudly and being so proud of Eri. Even though I was usually irritated by Quinn and we were always fighting, I appreciated that they loved Eri as much as I did. Eri's fingers smoothly flowed over the guitar strings and though they had let me hear them play before, nothing compared to the live show. The song ended and Eri smiled, looking above the crowd and towards the back wall. It was most likely to ease some sort of stage fright or anxiety.

"Who's ready to tell this year to fuck off?!" They said, getting a large response of cheers and claps. "I know for goddamn sure I am. I've been through so much shit it's not even funny. So why doesn't everyone get a shot, toss it back, and give me a big fuck you!" There was a round of 'fuck yous' and people downing their drinks. Eri looked towards the bar and held up three fingers to signal an order while the other guitarist took over getting the hype up. In the meantime, Eri set their guitar on its stand and took off their tie and shirt, tossing it to the side and revealing a tight leather vest that definitely accentuated their full chest. I was almost back to being a drooling mess until I heard a few dozen whistles from the men in the crowd. My irritation skyrocketed as i didnt want other men ogling them but I had to remind myself that this was just for the show and nothing more.

A scantily clad bartender made her way onto the stage holding a tray of three shots. Eri tossed two back and with some incentive from the crowd, set the last glass between the bartenders tits. The bartender camped it up, shimmying just a bit as Eri wrapped their mouth around the rim and pulled it out, swallowing the liquor. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and furrowed my brows as I was starting to get pissed off now. They're just showing off, Johnny. It's just for the show. I sighed deeply, trying to get my feelings in check. The next song started with an eccentric  intro about Pennywise the Clown which I'd never heard before. Their voice started softly before switching to a guttural scream that made me do a complete 180. "Holy shit." I whispered.

Quinn had a look of utter terror on their face while Jae leaned over to me, getting closer to my ear. "Good job dating the spawn of Satan!"

"They're not the spawn of satan." I glared at him. "I think it's cool."

"It's a little weird to hear girls doing it. I know usually guys do this type of music."

"Yeah, well they're on pitch and sound great so shut up." Just then a gap appeared in the front of the stage as someone made their way back through the crowd and I took the opportunity to drag Quinn and Jae to fill the space. I wanted to get Eri's attention then and gave them a small wave. Their eyes widened so big I almost thought they were going to pop out of their head. I gave them a smile, trying to reassure them but they only seemed to get more scared which made their voice waver. Just as the song ended they grabbed the other lead singer and ran off to the side of the stage. I wondered what was wrong and leaned forward, trying to see if I could spot them. They seemed to be speaking frantically but I couldn't hear anything over the roar of the crowd. Hopefully it wasn't anything too bad

--

Eri's POV

"André, André, André, i'm freaking the fuck out! What am I supposed to do?!"

"What's wrong?! You were doing great out there! You sounded awesome. Have you been practicing your screams?"

"Screw that! The guy I've been fucking for months is here along with my best friend and their boyfriend. I'm going to fucking choke!!" My anxiety was taking over big time and I couldn't grasp the fact that people I knew and loved were actually watching me perform. I never invited people to see me for this reason. I would tense up, my throat would close, and the pressure of impressing them would be the only thing I could think about. It gave me one hell of an anxiety attack.

"Ok, so? Be happy that they came to see you! That means they're proud of you and excited to see your talent!" He tried to reassure me.

"Nonono, you don't understand. I can't do this. I'm gonna freak out. I'm like way too nervous. I can't breathe!"

André grabbed onto my shoulders tightly. "Eri, look at me. You are a bad bitch. A bad slutty bitch with talent that blows people's minds. You have performed in front of small crowds and big crowds. You put your heart and soul into it. You're in music journalism because you wanted to prove to every man that you interview that you know exactly what you were talking about and break through that glass ceiling. I want you to go out there and fucking shred like your life depended on it. Make that dude want to rip off your clothes and fuck you senseless. Make everyone see how much of a bad ass you are. You. Can. Do. This. Repeat after me, I'm a slutty bad bitch."

I swallowed hard and shook out my hands, trying to get rid of my nerves. "I-i-i'm a slutty bad bitch."

"And i'm going to go out there and make every man, woman, and everyone in between want me."

"A-and I'm gonna make every m-m-man, woman, and everyone in between w-wa-want me."

"And that dude you've been fucking is going to go insane when he sees what you can really do."

"And that dude-"

"No, hun-" He interrupted. "Don't repeat that part. Look, how about we switch the line up a bit? Then we can pick a song that you feel more confident in."

"Ok, w-what song do you think we should do?" I said, still unsure.

"How about Closer? Your voice sounds sexy and you can let me handle the guitar. What do you think?"

I nodded and whimpered, still feeling queasy. We stepped back onto the stage and André told the other band members about the song change. A regular at the club was against the stage, holding a drink out to me and I took it graciously, downing it in seconds. I needed all the help I could get right now. I had to fake my comfort so i could make it until the end of the set, when the time would wind down and I could scream 'Happy New Year' and let the music fade away. I tried my best not to look down at Johnny, Quinn, or Jae. I needed to keep the alcohol in my stomach instead of all over the crowd. 

The synthy bass thrummed beneath my feet as I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Closer was the epitome of the classic "let's fuck right now" song and with harder female vocals it made me feel like the worlds greatest sex symbol. André was right. I was a bad slutty bitch. My friends were in the crowd and though I was anxious that I would disappoint them I was also putting forth more effort to impress them. I had to believe that I was as talented and great as André said, no matter how difficult or low my self confidence was. It was time to continue one hell of a show and feel alive.

I caressed myself, threw my hair back, wiggled my hips, and spun around as I sung about fucking like an animal. A smile was slapped across my face and I felt my entire body ignite with excitement. I even got a bit of courage to get on my knees in front of Johnny and sing to him. He gripped my neck and crashed our lips together during the rhythmic break and it felt like I never wanted to come up for air. I had to bow out when my next verse was going to start but he kept me close for a second more to growl "Mine" in my ear.

I shoved him away and stuck out my tongue, giving him sass in return. It was hot the way he wanted to take control but this was my fucking night. When the song finished I heard a male voice in the back yell, "What else can you do with that tongue?!"

I squinted my eyes against the spotlight and looked out to find the voice but all I could do was smirk. "What else can I do with my tongue?" I panted as I was a bit out of breath. "Make your girl cum better than you ever could."

The crowd whooped and hollered at my diss and André signaled for my attention. It was almost time for the countdown. There was one more song we had to play and then we could say goodbye to this year. I set the microphone back on the stand and picked up my guitar again. It was time to party hard. I gave it my last bit of energy as André and I sung together, getting the crowd to start a mosh pit and make the floor vibrate. The last few moments of the song I abandoned my responsibilities and jumped down from the stage joining everyone in the riot like crashing and pushing until it was announced that there was 30 seconds left of the year. I made my way over to Johnny, Jae, and Quinn, giving my best friend a tight squeeze and an awkward high five to Jae.

Johnny wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed me flush against him though I was a sweaty mess that smelled of liquor. I set my arms on his shoulders as ten faded into nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two-

My drummer crashed the symbols and made a big drumroll as everyone screamed in delight. I couldn't scream though. I was lost in the moment of Johnny dipping me, like an old school love story, and covering me in the best kiss he had ever given me. It felt like time had slowed, people had frozen, and all that was left was me and him, facing the world together like we had been; through death, abuse, violence, emotional pain, mental anguish, and longing feelings to be loved. It was what had brought us together, this pain. And while we were trying desperately to be better people it was harder to say than to do. But we were right here. I couldn't hear any words that were said. This moment was right where I wanted to be and I would have given my soul to remain here, frozen in time.

Johnny pulled away and lifted me up, my mind still a little foggy. He kept his body lowered to stay close to me and held my hand in his, positioning us like we were dancing. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, Eri. Er….person, sorry."

I shook my head. "I don't care, it's fine. Just stay with me. Come home with me and stay in my bed. I want to have fun tonight. We need to kick off this year with a bang….literally." I giggled.

"You need to sober up and shower. You smell terrible, just so you know." He laughed.

"I know! I know! 30 minutes up there in the spotlight and I sweat like a whore in church! I gotta help the guys load the van up though so it may take me awhile to finish up. I'll text you when I'm done, yeah?"

He nodded and slowly turned us like we were slow dancing, making me smile at his goofy antics. Metal songs were playing over the speakers and he wanted to dance with me like I was Cinderella. I tapped his shoulder and smiled. "Let me go, prince charming. I gotta get moving ok?"

He gave me a final kiss before sadly letting me go. "Hurry back, Eri!"

--

Johnny's POV

I felt so many things when we kissed at the bar and I had no idea why. Maybe it was my body's way of telling me that I needed to finally confess to them. I was still so damn scared to do so. A real relationship. One without getting hit everyday or not consenting to things I didn't want to do. One where I was genuinely happy. The last time I felt happy was a month ago when I visited my mom but I had never been happy with someone who wasn’t family. Eri made me happy. Eri made my heart do unimaginable and completely questionable things. Eri was...I think Eri is the love of my life. I didn't need any deep realizations right now. I just wanted to have fun. We were going to let go. But maybe...maybe I was closer to revealing my true feelings than I thought.

I took and deep breath and knocked on Eri's bedroom door and they opened it, looking much more comfy in their sweats rather than their on stage get up. They stood on their tiptoes to kiss me which always made me smile. "You chilled out a bit?"

"Yeah when you sweat your ass off loading up a truck full of gear in a winter coat and boots it makes the alcohol fade real fast. Come on in. I've got a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What the hell for?" I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. Eri guided me to their desk chair and sat me down.

"I want to do something a little different tonight."

"You mean...fucking wise?" Eri thinking of things to try in bed always meant trouble for me.

They bit their lip and nodded. "Yeah, do you want to try it out?"

"Depends on what the hell you're scheming." I said skeptically.

"I promise you'll like it! I won't steer you wrong." They went over to their bed and pulled something out from under their pillow. When I saw what it was my whole body tensed.

"Eri, what the hell are you doing?"

"You tied me up last time. It's only fair that I get to do the same to you." They stepped closer with the bit of cotton rope in their hands which made me scoot the chair back.

"Ye-yeah but that was different. Completely different. I don't know if I'd like that!" I said nervously. Being tied up meant I wouldn't be in control which meant I was instantly nervous and unprepared. My body was already beginning to sweat as my heart raced. Eri crept closer and set their finger under my chin to tilt my head up.

"Cmon Johnny. New year, new kinks. We should see if you like something new." They smirked.

"No way! I'm good. Nothing new. I'm perfectly fine the way I am!"

They slipped behind me and rubbed their hands all over my chest and down to my stomach, planting kisses wherever they wanted to on my neck. "Pleaseeeeee," they whined. "I just wanna have some fun. I have so much planned for us."

"Then why do I have to be tied up?!"

"Because you wouldn't be a good boy if you weren't. You're not very patient when I tease you."

"Well maybe you shouldn't tease me then." I grunted.

"Just play along and I promise you'll love every minute of it." They landed a particularly sharp nip to my neck, making me flinch away. I still didn't want to be tied up but I knew they wouldn't stop whining if I did.

"Fine! But what's that thingy I say to make you stop if I don't want it anymore?"

They giggled and pulled my hands behind the back of the chair, beginning to tie them. "A safe word. And you can say guitar for me to stop."

Guitar? That sounded so stupid. But whatever. I would just play along for now. I tried to get out of the ties but they held firm. I swallowed hard and instantly started to panic. I looked up at Eri as they stepped in front of me. "W-wait Eri, I don't- Gui-"

I watched as they pulled their sweats off and suddenly I couldn't remember what I was even worried about. I feasted my eyes on a deep blue lingerie set, complete with a garter belt and see through thigh highs. My mouth went completely dry as the blood in my brain rushed south.

"Do you like it? I got it in blue since it's your favorite color and it was on clearance." They said, happy at their financial victory. "You're not saying anything…"

"U-uh…" How could I when they looked like that? Incredible, tantalizing, and unbelievably sexy. I tried to lurch myself forward to feel every inch of their warm skin but snapped back into the chair as my tied hands kept me immobile. So that's why they did it...sneaky little shit.

Eri set their hands on top of my thighs and leaned forward. "Johnny, do you like it or not?"

"U-um...y-yes. Yeah. Good." I managed to say in my lust filled haze. They straddled my hips and  sunk down onto my lap.

"I'm glad. Do you want to touch my thighs?"

"Absolutely. Please, Eri." I had no shame in begging for that. I wanted their thighs, hips, and ass in my hands and against my lips.

"Nope. Nooootttt yet. You have to prove you'll be good boy " I tossed my head back with a frustrated groan. Why couldn't they just let me touch them?!

"What the fuck do you mean I have to prove I'm good?! You want me to call you mommy or something?!"

They lowered their gaze and gave me a predatory smirk. "That could work."

My eyes widened and I tried to release my hands again. "Eri I'm serious!

"So am I." They pressed their lips against mine, wrapping their arms around my neck, making our chests flush together. Why the hell were they such a good kisser? I was whipped for them and hated every bit of it.

"Hmm, let me-" I tried to say in between moments of our tongues clashing. "Go-"

"Tsk tsk tsk Johnny," They wrapped their tiny hand around my neck and pressed gently against my Adam's apple. "We really have to work on your impatience." They started grinding their hips against my lap creating that friction that drove me wild. I swallowed hard, feeling the pressure of their hand still against me, and squeezed my eyes shut. I had to think of a plan to get free but the mesh rubbing against the roughness of my jeans was terribly distracting. I bucked my hips upwards, wanting to gain more traction and feel their wetness through the fabric but they forced their weight down onto my thighs so I couldn't use them as leverage. "You're such a cute little prince when your frustrated."

"I'm not a goddamn prince." I tried to say steadily but their thumb pressed harder into my throat. I was already starting to feel my cock stir and hated being trapped in my pants.

"Oh yes you are." Eri laid a tender kiss on my lips. "Just like I'm your princess, you're my prince. And I could be your mommy just as well as you can be my daddy."

"Cut it out." I growled. "It's weird." I ground my teeth together as they forced their weight down again and rubbed against me. Jesus, this was driving me crazy.

"It's the same principle, Johnathan. Don't be so sexist." They chuckled and finally removed themselves off me. "You'll learn soon enough." They disappeared behind me and I was still uneasy about what the hell they were going to do. Whips and chains were definitely out of the question.

"Eri! What are you doing?!" I tried to wiggle the chair around to see what they were up to but they returned shortly after. They were silent this time as they sunk down to their knees between my legs and unzipped my pants. They pulled them down and I lifted my hips up to help them, grateful that I was going to get more attention. They pulled off my sneakers and the rest of my pants and boxers, letting me free.

"Don't make a sound ok?" My eyes were glued to their lips as they set my cock in their mouth, slowly sucking on the head and rubbing their thumb against the underside. I sighed contently and relaxed against the chair. The rope didn't bother me so much now as I was much more intrigued by the tingling pleasure. They looked up at me, brown eyes full of mock innocence and wanting of praise. They looked so damn cute with their mouth full.

"Keep going...it's so good." I exhaled in a choppy breath. I was getting harder by the second and wanted them to take more of me in but I knew I hurt them pretty bad last time I used so much force. But nothing was better than having that warm wet heat of a tongue and tightness of a throat wrapped around me. My stomach was tightening a little as all the attention to the head of my cock was starting to make me too sensitive. "B-babe um, b-back off for a- hhoooollly fuck!!"

I felt it then, my cock completely disappearing down their throat in one fell suck. What the hell? They had never done that before! They popped off me and smiled. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"

"How can I be quiet when you just did...that!!" I yelled. "How? What? When?" I was so confused but turned on beyond belief.

They giggled and set their head on my thigh as a single finger danced around my slit. "I forgot numbing spray was a thing."

"Numb what??"

"Numbing spray. You spray it and it numbs your throat and helps your gag reflex so I can take down more of you."

"God bless America. Fucking do it again Eri."

"Ask Mommy nicely."

"Ugh! Fine!" I grit my teeth and glared at them. "Do it again...please." They looked at me, waiting. "Mommy."

That seemed to satisfy them enough and the next moment I was plunging my cock down their throat. It took my breath away and I tried to be absolutely quiet for fear of them stopping. I wanted to keep their head in place, wanted to fuck their face senseless, but these goddamn ties were stopping me. I hated them and wanted them off now. 

My toes gripped against the legs of the chair and I sunk my hips a little lower, trying to angle myself to get a few thrusts in. "Baby," I cooed. Wait, fuck, they would probably want me to say that stupid word. I sighed internally and cleared my throat. "Mommy?"

Their eyes shot up to meet mine again and their sucking stopped. "Hm?" They hummed around me.

"Could you please untie me? Please? I need to touch you."

"No, you want to face fuck me." They said as they released themself from me again. Goddammit. "You're not allowed to." They kissed my tip and licked down my shaft. "But I promise if you behave you can be daddy a bit later."

That peaked my interest. "Really?"

They nodded as they kissed my balls before taking one into their mouth and their hand became busy with giving me firm strokes. I let all of the tension in my body ease once I knew I would be in control soon enough. If I had done that before I would've took notice to how eager Eri was to suck me. Usually it was a little fast and decently pleasurable but I could always tell they weren't 100% into it. It wasn't their favorite thing in the world but they did it because I liked it. But now everything was heightened and steering me closer towards an orgasm. Fuck, I didn't want to cum this soon. Though I didn't want to I had to stop them. "H-hey, not yet, ok?"

They pulled away from me and wiped the corner of their mouth. "Fair enough." They rose to their feet and took a step back before dropping their panties to the floor. I licked my lips and watched intensely as they crawled into the bed face down and ass up. They opened their knees and dipped their stomach towards the bed before sliding their fingers through their folds. They were really going to touch themselves in front of me. I growled in frustration. I was gonna spank them so hard when I got out of these ties!

"Eri!" I snapped. "You need to let me…" My voice trailed off as they dipped two fingers into their fuckable little hole, scissoring themselves open and showing me exactly where I wanted to dive into. "Let me go!"

They sighed and turned back towards me. "What part of stay quiet don't you understand?" They grabbed their panties from the floor and balled them up before grabbing my chin. I turned my head away but they managed to get my mouth open and stuffed them in. I had had it with their fucking antics but the fire in their eyes matched mine. I couldn't believe they had been hiding this side from me for so long. They were supposed to be my submissive princess and instead they were a hellfire succubus damning me to a hell of irritation, greed, and lust. I growled and tried wrapping my legs around their thighs to pull them closer but they landed a harsh slap to my leg. I was taken aback and raised an eyebrow at them. They turned away from me without another word and went over to their desk drawer, pulling out what looked like a vibrator.

They sat on the edge of the bed this time, propping their feet up and leaning onto their elbows slightly. I heard the strong whir of the vibrations and stared as they dragged it up and down their lips, occasionally dipping it into their entrance. Soft sweet little whimpers rang in my ears as their hands moved the vibrator at a slow pace. Eri started moaning my name, just a bit exaggerated to entice me further. They were driving me insane and if i didn’t touch them soon I was going to explode. My cock was already throbbing intensely almost to the point of pain. My breaths were getting heavier as Eri’s thrusting of the toy increased speed. They were squirming and rocking their hips as their hands caressed their thighs. I watched as their fingers teased the lace band of their thigh highs and traveled to rub across their inner thigh. Their fingers kept going until they covered their clit and added passionate circles to the sensitive area. 

I scooted the chair closer to the bed, leaning as far as I could to hover over them. They had a sly smirk on their lips as they turned off the vibrator and popped it into their mouth to lick it clean. “You’re irritated aren’t you?” They said cockily. I nodded slowly and they sat up to kiss my mouth that was forced to stay shut. “I would say that i’m sorry but it’s fun pushing your buttons, especially because you’ve been so into punishing mine lately. I wanted to have a little fun of my own this time.”

I stood quiet trying to make it inconspicuous that I was working my tongue against the panties in order to spit them out. They looked down at my cock and licked their lips. “I guess I could think about letting you go. Or I could have some more fun by myself.”

I finally got the panties against my teeth and spit them out. “I’m not fucking playing anymore. Let. Me. Go.” I growled.

Eri looked down at the discarded thong and sighed. Their foot hit the edge of the chair, pushing it back on its wheels and taking me with it. The whir of the vibrator started up again and I was forced to continue to watch how good a some stupid plastic toy was making them feel. They were thrusting it in faster this time, trying to increase their amount of pleasure and my pain. Their hand caressed their torso, stopping just a bit to cup their breast and tweak their nipple. Their lips parted into a soft sigh that morphed into a mewl as their back arched from the bed. With every pull of the vibrator i could see Eri's body shudder weakly, the toy glistening with a thin coating of their cum. They slipped it out and pressed the tip against their clit which almost made their thighs snap shut.

"J-Johnny…" They whispered. Their hand was tangled in their hair now, trying to steady themselves from giving in too soon.

They made no attempt to move and free me and instead kept plunging the vibrator deeper to perfect the way the curve of the toy hit them. I bounced my leg impatiently, deciding that maybe I could do a little reverse psychology. If I ignored them and didn't say anything perhaps they would get frustrated and more likely to let me go. It was hard but I silenced myself and averted my gaze from the show they were putting on. It didn't take long for them to catch on as they were tempting me with calling my name out louder. I swiveled the chair around, blocking my view entirely and giving them my middle finger in exchange for their torture. 

The bed creaked then and I felt their hand on my neck, tilting my head back. "You're ignoring me on purpose."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, smugly.

They pressed the vibrator to my lips and worked it into my mouth so I could suck off their taste. It made me crave them even more but I continued my facade. "You do. You're playing games with me and I hate that." They grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back. I bit down on my bottom lip and swallowed back the deep lustful groan that built up in my throat. Just stay focused Johnny. Stay focused.

Suddenly their bra was in my lap which meant they were only in the garter belt and thigh highs. Fucking hell. Thankfully, I finally felt the sweet release from the ropes. I stood up quickly and tossed off my shirt before rubbing my wrists. Eri backed up onto the bed and laid back with a teasing look on their face. They were waiting for my next move, wanting me to pounce on them. I decided to take my time, continuing to give them a taste of their own medicine. I casually grabbed a condom from their usual spot on their dresser and rolled it on, yawning in the process. 

Eri scoffed. "Don't give me that shit, boy. Get over here now."

"Maybe I don't want to." I said flatly.

"Yeah, tell that to your dick thats swollen and literally dripping cum everywhere, slut."

That I definitely couldn't hide but I shrugged and sauntered over to them. "I can take it. After all you've made me wait all this time. Can't you be patient now?"

They yanked me onto the bed and forced me onto my back before straddling my waist. "No. What I say goes. Fuck me."

"You're wrong princess. What I say goes."

"Princess is gone tonight. Deal with it, prince." They grabbed onto my wrists and pinned them down which made me jerk uncomfortably and feel panicked. "S-sorry…" They whispered softly, breaking character for just a moment to instead hold my hands. I relaxed back and exhaled deeply, closing my eyes and trying to focus on our tense banter instead of my past. They gave me a soft kiss. "You ok?"

I nodded and pressed my forehead to theirs, giving their fingers a squeeze. "Keep going."

"Rough?"

"Rough." I agreed.

"You can tell me when to stop still. Was the rope too much?"

"A little. It made me jumpy but I can't say I wasn't distracted." I chuckled and nuzzled their face. "Cmon, mommy. Show daddy what cha got." It was completely cheesy and made us both laugh but it dissipated as soon as I felt them sink down on me. I arched up instantly, sucking in a breath as their tightness overcame me. "Fuck, Eri. I need you."

"I know you do. You always will. You're addicted to me." They bounced their hips fast, wasting no time in denying our satisfaction any longer. They were right about being addicted to them but it wasn't a habit I wanted to break. They were the only person ive ever really loved romantically and I still couldn't even tell them that. I was frustrated and disappointed at myself but what else could I do until I got the balls enough to confess?

I forwent my inner turmoil and looked up at Eri who was grinding harder into me. Their lips were pouted in a silent moan that turned into a tiny squeak once I was able to wrap my lips around their nipple. I sucked deeply, hungry, and yearning for them to cum. Their hold on my hands was weakening a bit and I used my strength to roll them over onto their back. My lips never detached from them but I gained tons of leverage to plow into them hard and hip breakingly fast. Their legs squeezed around my waist and I clamped my hands around their thighs. The feeling of the thin mesh sent chills down my spine as did the lace when my fingers ran over it. I had no idea why but I want to cum all over the stockings and soak them with thick heavy ropes.

I blushed a bit, embarrassed at my own sudden desire. That seemed way too weird...but would they let me do it? I swallowed nervously and looked down at them. "Im gonna cum the way I want, got it?" I said, putting on my stern voice.

"What makes you think I'm gonna let you cum at all?"

I sat back, stilling my thrusts for a moment. "You really think you have that power over me?"

"I know I do." They took the opportunity to capture my vulnerability and sat on my lap , wrapping their arms around me tight. "Keep going. Break me."

Christ, break them? They were going to break me. The fast pace of our shifting positions and newfound desires was leaving me in a whirlwind haze of deadly sins. I gripped onto their hips and slammed them down onto me. Heavy breaths were exchanged between us as we tried to entertain ourselves with harsh kisses, licks, and bites. It was a sloppy mess that made me dig my nails into their ass and growl deeply. "Do that again," they whispered in my ear. "Growl for me."

How did I make it not sound forced and stupid? I rarely noticed when I did it as it was all unintentional. While I was fussing with my thoughts, Eri clamped down around me tight and drew out the sound they wanted easily enough. They let out a whimper and squeezed me tighter to their chest. They sunk their teeth into my shoulder as their small body caved in and I could feel them dripping down my shaft. I kept my arm around their waist as they dug their fingers into my hair squeezing tightly but not pulling. "You ok, babe?"

They nodded quickly and finally released my shoulder from pain. "S-so good." I turned their head up towards mine and captured them in a slower kiss, letting out tongues work over one another gently. With a few small pecks they parted from me for a moment. "How do you want to cum? Don't say inside me because that's not happening again."

I shook my head. "Just...don't laugh, ok?"

They raised an eyebrow in confusion as I set them back down on the bed. I rolled off the condom and tossed it on the floor, not really giving a damn about it in this moment. I lifted their legs a bit, pressing their thighs together with just enough space for my cock to flow through them. The softness of their thighs coupled with the fabric was enough to make me go crazy. I thrusted faster, even feeling the lace caress my shaft. I clutched at their calves tightly as I felt that oh so familiar bliss creep within, this time heightened more than I could ever imagine. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, my breath weakening, and when I felt that heated tension I set their legs down and splattered my cum across the fabric.

I braced myself by placing my arms beside them and tried to catch my breath. They hadn't said a word or even made a sound since I became obsessed with getting off that way. I was almost afraid to look at them but when I opened my eyes I saw that their face was completely flushed. "I-i-i'm um...I'm sorry that was weird, I know." I said, ashamed.

"No. No. I'm...it wasn't weird. I just...I've never done that before."

"Yeah I...uh…" I pushed my hair back and flopped down on the bed beside them, preferring to just shrink away. "Sorry." I apologized again.

"Johnny…" they suddenly giggled. "I think you just leveled up your thigh high kink."

Now it was my turn to blush even more. "S-shut up! I have not!"

"Mhm, this mess says otherwise. Will you take them off for me? You can touch me as long as you want."

That offer seemed amazing but I was dead tired and I knew if I even so much as started to touch their thighs I would be rushing to cum again. Nonetheless, I did at least remove their soiled stockings and garter belt and tossed it beside the rest of our clothes on the floor. I managed to reach for my jeans and pulled out my crushed pack of cigs and lighter. Finally relaxing, I lit one up and rested beside them, realizing that maybe this new year was made for new kinks.

--

Eri's pov

We laid together for awhile, suffering through trying to catch our breath in the coldness of my room and sharing a cigarette or two as an end note to our ridiculous fucking. I was drifting into sleep thanks to the usual comforting smells of his musk and barely lingering cologne when Johnny decided to open his mouth and talk. I sighed a bit and looked up at him with my sleepy eyes, hoping he'd take the hint. "So like...me and Jae's birthdays are in a month and we're gonna have like this party so obvi you're invited but I wanted to let you know."

"Your birthday?" Fuck i still actually didnt know his birthday was. Why were we like this? "When is it?"

"Mine is on the 9th and Jae's is on the 14th. So we're doing it on the weekend. We always celebrate together."

"An aquarius…" I scoffed. "God that explains so much." I flopped onto my back and went off thinking about our actual astrological compatibility while he continued to talk about the party.

"Eri! Are you listening?!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. "Yes! The party I got it!"

"Yeah, I know that. I asked you when your birthday is."

"Oh...um, it's October 29."

He sat up a bit and looked at me. "As in, it passed and you didn't tell me?"

"I don't really celebrate my birthday. Id much rather celebrate Halloween. Besides...October was a weird month for us…"

"Still you could've said something...how is it that we still don't know the most basic info about each other?"

I shrugged. "We thrive on shared trauma which, ya know, isn't really that great but here we are.".

"I mean we had that talk in the hotel room but I guess even that was a bit heavy with you telling me about your gay stuff…"

"The gay stuff™️." I giggled. "But yeah, I guess so. If you ask me though, knowing each other on a deeper level is better than us knowing our fave colors and birthdays."

"I can see that to some extent. I would still like to know that superficial stuff about you."

I sat up a bit, letting my hair drift over my shoulder and onto his chest. "Ok, Johnathan. I know that you're from Chicago, you're a Mama's boy, your fave color is blue, you like photography and live off of iced americanos from Starbucks. You can sing and play the piano and you're in photojournalism. And now I know you're an aquarius. So if there's any more superficial stuff you'd like me to know then have at it."

"Gee, thanks. Now you just sound like an asshole." He rolled his eyes and tried to shift away from me but I managed to wriggle my weight onto him.

"I'm serious. Go ahead and tell me. Or you can ask me a bunch of shit. 20 questions, you softie."

He sighed and set his hands behind his head. "Alright question one, what made you such a pain in my ass?"

"That's not a 'superficial' lovey question, Johnathan." I teased. "And i'm not a pain in the ass, you just like me. Admit it. I'm the majestic goddess of your dreams!" 

"Oh definitely. Nothing less than a majestic goddess." He smiled as I leaned in for a kiss. "Question two, how old even are you?"

"I just turned 21."

He sat up quickly, almost knocking our heads together. "Whoa, wait, really?? You're younger than Jae! He's turning 22!"

"Well how old are you gonna be?!"

"24!"

"Oh my god, you act like it's such a big deal. Don't scare me like that. Almost everyone I fuck is older than me, except Lucas. Who cares?" I pressed him back down onto the bed and resumed my position of comfort on top of him.

"I mean like...I normally go for older chicks so it's just a bit weird…"

"Well, what they say about older people being wiser isn't always true. Especially since my young self made you have two orgasms in a row, deep throated you, made you realize that eating pussy isn't so bad, and taught you that being a daddy never felt so good."

"You're so annoying, I swear." He scoffed.

"You only say I'm annoying when I'm right, which is like all the time, so next question please."

"What's your last name?"

"Hah, funny. I have like 4, all of which you probably cant pronounce so we'll skip all those. What's your last name?"

"Suh."

"Suh?" I questioned. "Like suh' bro?"

"Like Johnny Suh." He booped my nose.

"Eri Suh wouldn't sound too bad…better than what I have now." It came out faster than I wanted to and I thought he was going to freak out but instead he pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead.

"Yeah...maybe."

I wasn't really sure how to react to his gentleness. It felt strange but oh so comforting. Marriage wasn't my gig at all but...the name did sound cute. I pulled the covers up to my chin and settled against his warmth. "A-anyway, I'll go to your party."

"Don't sound so enthusiastic, damn." He joked.

At least he wasn't hung up on my embarrassing revelation of how our names sounded together. "But don't worry, Suh. Mommy will remember to give you 24 spankings like you deserve."

"Eri, dont you dare! You're not gonna be spanking me anytime soon!"

"You'd be surprised! Maybe you'd like being a sub!"

"Maybe I should use the panty to gag you next, hmm? I don't wanna hear your big mouth. I'm tired!"

"Oh you ass!" I giggled and playfully hit his shoulder, barely inflicting pain. He tried to slap my hands away and curl up on his side, laughing with me. When I had enough I grabbed onto him like a koala, finally becoming the big spoon I always wanted to be.

He didn't move away from me. In fact, he held onto my hand that was around his waist and sighed softly. His shoulders released their tension and I could tell that he was actually falling asleep. A giddy smile was on my lips as I nuzzled his spine happy to be the one providing him with protection for once.

--

It was hard getting closer to him without actually being a couple. We had become so close it was almost impossible to separate us. There was always a little voice in the back of my mind that screamed 'just tell him! What's the worse that could happen?!'. Heartache. Heartache was what could happen. Love is not easy. It was one of the hardest things I had to face since I broke up with Jungwoo. That was another reason I stopped myself. It was like a gut reaction that sent me into a panic when I thought about someone being in love with me.

I regret what happened. We were a cute couple. I was full of naivety and thinking my world was so sweet when I was around him, which it was. He was polite, kind, a true gentleman, and always put me first. He was literally a perfect boyfriend. He was also the first boyfriend I ever had. That threw my sexuality for a dizzying loop since I had been with my ex girlfriend for most of high school until the beginning of college. I realized that men weren't so bad (pfft, yeah right), especially my Jungwoo.

It was almost 9 months that we were together, inseparable and presenting as the white picket fence pristine couple. Waiting also came with Jungwoo as he was extremely shy when it regarded romance. We had barely kissed within those nine months but held hands like it was our job. It makes me laugh now how reserved I was back then. I was almost virginal (well technically a virgin with a real dick. Definitely not a virgin with a girl (or a fake dick)) and Jungwoo for sure was a virgin which seemed to make that moment more special when the time came. Our kisses were clumsy and awkward, our hands unsure of where to explore, and our bodies fumbled until we were connected. We nervously laughed and stared at each other and I had no idea what to make him do. We could only think of to thrust but still weren’t really sure how to make it pleasurable. I didn't know what I wanted from sex with a man and I laid there thinking most of the time instead of trying to enjoy it all. And then it happened.

Like a doomsday bomb the three little words were mumbled from his lips and I froze. See, the layers of trauma were just beginning to pile on. My girlfriend had told me she never even loved me after out five year (childlike) relationship, and now that Jungwoo had said that I feared that he was lying. He was just going to stab my heart again and laugh at my misery. No matter how nice he presented to be. That was what she did after all; was nice and then turned her back on me and destroyed what I thought was real and most important. And so I ran. I physically ran. I pushed him away, tossed on my clothes, and sped from his dorm room as fast as possible. He was confused and I didn't talk to him after. No explanation or anything. I ignored his texts, ignored when he came to my dorm, avoided him at all costs. The kicker was that he did actually love me and now I was the person that caused pain and suffering.

Thus my caution with Johnny and being terrified to say anything. I wanted to, god I really really wanted to, but the trauma and fears and of course him outright saying we wouldn't be together we're speed bumps in my recovery to love like a normal person. I still thought about confessing for the hell of it and throw myself down the rabbit hole of self hatred but I was still too scared. This was also the first time love had hit me so hard. With Jungwoo I wasn't really sure of my feelings but with Johnny it was almost like I knew right away. I had never fallen in love that fast with someone ever. He made my heart race, my body ascend of planes of absolute bliss I could never imagine myself being on. He made me laugh, feel safe, listened to me, and was there through my personal disasters and didn't budge. He didn't care about what had happened to me. It was almost as if he found it normal since we had similar stories. I wanted him so bad. I needed him. 

I sighed as my tornado of thoughts about love hit me all at once in the parking lot of Johnny's apartment complex. It was the night of his party and I wasn't going to ruin it by being a crying mess as soon as he rejected me after my confession. I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath to put on my brave face and stuff my feelings away. I mean how could I be Eri if I actually talked about my feelings.

I shuffled my feet against the ice, trying not to fall as I made my way to the door of the building. I fucking hated winter. I was an island baby, what the hell was I supposed to do with a giant pile of frozen hatred? I made it safely and went to Johnny's apartment. The door was open and I let myself in, looking around at the people already dancing and mingling. I tried to find him but couldn't really see him anywhere, which was weird since the apartment wasn't that big. I went to his room, pushing past a few people to look for him there. The room was empty though and I simply unzipped my coat and tossed it on his mattress.

"Hey."

I turned and expected to see my birthday boy but it was Lucas. My heart immediately felt like it was a piece of paper that got crunched into a ball to throw in the trash can. "Hey…"

"Can we...talk? Please?"

"About what?"

"What happened between us."

"Lucas, I came here to have a good time not be bombarded with sadness."

"I know but you're ignoring me every other way so I need to do this. Please."

Great. Exactly what I needed. "Go on."

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. We both sat down on the bed and I waited for him to start. "Eri, I am so sorry for what I made you feel. Like incredibly, totally, irreparably, sorry for what I did. I didn't think it was a big deal but I was being selfish and only thinking about my fun. It never even crossed my mind that it would hurt you so much, which of course was a problem. Then you stopped talking to me and I realized I could actually lose you. I don't want to lose you. That's the very last thing I want Eri. You mean so much to me and Quinn definitely beat it into my brain that I was an asshole. I just hope you can forgive me. Maybe not today but somewhere down the road. I miss hanging out with you. I miss laughing with you and cuddling you and all that stuff. I know you're in love with Johnny so we can't be friends with benefits anymore but I don't care about that. I want you. The three of us, back together again. Me, you, and Quinn."

He took a deep breath and rubbed his palms against his jeans, seemingly to wipe the sweat off. I didn't know what to say. I set my elbows on my knees and leaned forward to cup my face in my hands. I wanted to scream. Of fucking course this would be the first thing that hits me. I did love my Lucas puppy. I love him too much. I hated not talking to him or tagging him in stupid memes. I would go to the ends of the Earth for him. I could hear the remorse in his voice and see the pained look in his eyes and it made me want to scream. He did the least amount of damage compared to Yuta and Ten, and he was the only one who apologized. It was a lot to think about but I caved in.

"I forgive you Lucas." His eyes lit up in that excited puppy way which made me crack a small smile. "It's hard but I do forgive you. I miss you."

"Fuck! Eri!" He tackled me back onto the bed and gave me a strong hug, crushing me in his long arms.

"Lucas! Argh- Jesus! Are you gonna let me breathe?!"

"Oh sorry!" He pulled away from me and I sat back up again. "I'm just so happy to be with you again. I love you."

"I love you too " It was so nice and easy to say that to him, why couldn't it be the same with Johnny. Lucas laid his head on my shoulder and I pet his hair back. It may be weird to try and go back to being normal but I felt confident enough that we could make it work. It was years of investment into our relationship and admittedly tons of nights of passion and intense love that would go down in the history of my little black book. It was hard to let him go and I couldn't do that just yet.

"Can we hang out soon?" He asked.

"Yeah, maybe. I have a lot on my mind right now…"

"With Johnny?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I don't know if I can tell him yet."

"You have to Eri. It just seems like it's killing you."

"It is but what if it hurts? What if it backfires? What if I just become an irreparable mess?"

"If he fucks you up I'll beat his ass. Quinn will beat his ass. You don't have to worry about that."

"Violence is not going to solve my heartache, Lucas. It's not going to make me feel better if he rejects me."

"Look," Lucas sat up and held onto my shoulders. "You're a risk taker. You're always doing new and cool shit. Johnny would be stupid to pass up the chance to be with you. Besides I know someone who would jump on the opportunity to be with you."

"God Lucas don't tell me it's you. Please, I don't need that "

"I mean yes but also no." He laughed. "It's not me exactly but you just let me know what Johnny says, ok? I make sure you won't go through that alone." He kissed my forehead and gave me a death grip hug. "Text me, whenever you do it. I'll have my bat ready just in case."

"When did you become such an adult? What happened to my goofy baby boy?" I half joked. He had grown up a lot in the past year and I was proud of him, especially for making the decision to talk it out with me.

He shrugged. "I can't stay a kid forever. I like having fun but I know when things are important and need to be fixed. I know when I'm wrong." He kissed me gently and pressed his forehead to mine. "One last one before you're with him forever." I shouldn't have. It felt like I was betraying Johnny but then again we weren't together. I cupped Lucas' face in my hands and kissed him slowly, feeling that familiar comfort we had in being with one another. I sighed softly into his mouth before falling into his chest. He kissed the top of my head then patted my shoulder. "Let's get back out there. We can at least celebrate his birthday which by the way you owe me for mine!"

"I know, I missed yours. I will make it up to you when we hang out. I'll cook for you."

He gave me a great big smile. He loved food and that was the key to his heart. "Hell yeah! You're a great cook! I'll hold you to it."

We both got up from the bed and made our way towards the door. When he exited the room he gave me one last kiss on the cheek before we parted. I exhaled deeply, trying to pretend I was okay but all of that hit me in the first part of the night and it was a mess. I attracted messes. Messy messes that just came with suffering. But now it was time to look for Johnny and hopefully he could make me feel a little better. I maneuvered through people as I searched but instead caught sight of Yuta. My heart stopped when he looked at me and just across from his was Taeyong. Why were they here? Johnny couldn't have possibly invited them. I was falling into panic mode already and wanted to run.

I felt strong arms wrap around me and a kiss on my cheek. “There you are! I was looking for you. When did you get here?” I turned and held onto Johnny happily. I was glad to be in his arms again.

"I got here not too long ago but Im gonna go. I don't think I can be here." I said with a shaky voice.

Johnny looked me, concerned. "Why? What's going on?"

"I saw Yuta and Taeyong and I just talked to Lucas and it's just a lot right now."

"I can kick them out if you want. Im not even sure how they got here. Must've tagged along with someone else."

"No, no. It's fine. I don't want to cause drama at another party. It's your birthday. I want you to have fun."

"Yeah, but I wanna have fun with you. If you don't wanna stay we can go somewhere else." He said as he set his arms around me.

"This is your party, Johnny. You should stay."

"Fuck it. Come on. We'll just do our own thing. I don't care as long as I'm with you." He took my hand before I could even protest and headed towards the front door. I managed to snag my coat at the last second and got dragged along until we arrived at his car. I had no idea where he was taking me but I trusted him enough to let him lead the way. Our pinkies remained linked as he drove one handed and slowly my anxiety evaporated into the winter air. Eventually we came across an abandoned building where Johnny parked.

"Oh great, you're gonna kill me. You know, I was supposed to be the serial killer in this relationship." I said as I stared at the dilapidated structure.

"Shut up." He joked and sucked his teeth. "I think this place is really cool and I thought you would like it because its all spooky and shit."

"Well you got me there. It does look cool." He got out the car and I pulled my coat tighter, finding my beanie and gloves in the pocket. I put those on too and got out, hearing the untouched snow crunch beneath my boots. The quietness of the night was magical and a breath of fresh air. Small snowflakes fluttered down from the sky and it made me feel like a kid again. I stuck my tongue out and tried to catch the flakes, spinning around and holding out my arms. I normally didn't like winter but there were times where snow was so scenic and pristine that it made me utterly happy.

In the midst of the quietness I heard clicking and turned around to see Johnny's professional camera in his hands. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He simply shrugged. "Nothing."

"Where did you get that camera from? Why are you taking pictures of me?"

"I had it in my car after I went through the park a couple days ago. And because I like taking pictures of beautiful things."

My face flushed deeply and my eyes went wide. He...he just called me beautiful. The shutter went off again and I rushed to his side. "Why'd you take it then?!"

He chuckled and squeezed me to his chest. "Your reaction. It was natural and I wanted to capture that." He sniffled against the cold.

I buried my face in his chest and clutched onto him. "You're a big dumb dummy head…" 

"Oh yeah? I hear you like big dumb dummy heads." He bent down to playfully kiss at my neck and cheek, making me giggle.

"Maybe I do. But only certain ones. Certain cheesy dorky ones."

"Im not dorky! Im cool."

"Only dorks say that they're cool." I kissed his frozen nose, making him wrinkle it. "You're freezing. You didn't even bring a jacket. All you have are your sweats."

He pulled his hoodie over his head and shrugged. "I'm alright. Are you warm enough?"

"No, not really. You wanna take cute pictures of me freezing my ass off!" I playfully hit his chest then wrapped my arms around his neck. "Should we head back? Maybe we can go to my apartment and chill there instead?"

"Mhm yeah and you can give me my birthday sex."

I rolled my eyes. "Who said you're getting any birthday sex?"

"Daddy did." He nuzzled my neck, just beneath my jaw and nipped ever so slightly.

I returned my blushing face to his chest to hide my embarrassment. "S-shut up and let's get back."

He laughed and opened the door for me first before heading over to the driver's side. I shut the door and settled into the seat while he tried to turn over the engine, except it kept stalling. "FUCKFUCKFUCK. Not now!" He hit the steering wheel and let out an exasperated sigh.

"What's wrong? Why won't it start?"

"Sometimes when it's too cold my engine freezes up and won't start. Normally I can get some hot water and pour it on but we're shit out of luck now."

"Oh my god. You and your piece of shit car! I do not want to be stuck here in this cold!" I pulled out my phone quickly and checked my battery. I had forgotten to charge the damn thing and it was barely at 10 percent. "Wonderful. What's your phone at?"

Johnny dug into the pocket of his sweatpants and checked it. It was nothing but a black screen. "Welp, that's great. It's dead."

"UGHHH!" I quickly typed out a text to Quinn, hoping that I had enough battery to tell them to come get us. "If Jae jump starts your car will that work?"

"Yeah, it will. Did you get through to them?"

"It sent but hopefully they see it soon and aren't in the middle of giving Jae his birthday sex." I rolled my eyes and sat back in the seat. "My phone might not make it until they reply."

"Let's hope for the fucking best. I have no idea what else to do."

"I guess we fucking suffer." I said bitterly. I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled my hood up to try and burrow myself away. It didn't work as well and I was still shivering. Johnny was too and he kept rubbing his hands together to try and generate warmth.

"You wanna u-uh...get in the back seat and try and like cuddle to warm up?” He said as his teeth chattered.

It was better than nothing. I nodded and worked my way into the backseat the hard way instead of just getting out of the car and jumping back in. I always had to do things the hard way. Johnny joined me (the smart way) and instantly stuck to my side. I opened my coat and tried to get him in. He laid his head on my chest and wrapped his arms around me, shivering every so often. I leaned back against the door giving him more room to lay down on the seat. His hair was still damp from the snowfall and chilled my lips as I kissed the top of his head. His hands roamed south to rub my thighs, sliding over my leggings and beneath the black sweater dress I wore. “You better behave.” I said sternly, knowing that he would get too eager to be between them again.

“It'll help us keep warm. I swear.”

“Uh-huh. You’re just obsessed with them.”

“I’m obsessed with everything about your body. It’s amazing.”

“Shut it. Why are you giving me so many compliments today? You’re making me feel all...like my stomach is doing weird things.”

He looked up at me and nibbled his lip for a moment. “It’s doing weird things to my stomach too.”

“Then stop.” I whined. I didn’t want him to play games with my emotions. Not while I was freezing in his damn car, stuck in the middle of an unknown part of town, ready to die at any second. Okay, that last part was a bit far fetched but it felt like it.

“I don’t think I want to.” His voice was much softer then and he sat up to look me in the eyes. I wanted to avoid him at all cost but something in his eyes held me in place. Everything seemed different for some unknown reason. Nothing was special about being stuck in a car but the air around us started feeling a bit tense; a little sexual, a little nervous, and a little awkward. “Can I kiss you?”

“W-what? I mean yeah, you’re always okay to kiss me.” That was a strange question. The first time we kissed he took it from me without so much as a single word. Now after six months he was asking me as if we had just started seeing each other. I tried to clear my head as I felt his lips against mine. It was still a perfect Johnny kiss even with the strange feeling before it. Bit by bit I relaxed into him, settling onto the seat as he crawled onto me. His cold hands slid up my dress making me gasp as it touched my much warmer skin.

He buried himself in my neck and whispered an apology between kisses. He adjusted me as much as he could to settle between my legs. It was much easier to feel him grind into me in sweatpants than it was in his usual tight jeans and it instantly made my body react. I was a sweet symphony of soft whimpers as he ground his hips into me deeper. I grabbed onto his ass and worked him forward to greedily add more friction between us. Occasionally he would free my skin from his lips to moan when I hit a particularly sweet spot.

"Can I, um, eat y-you out again?" He asked suddenly.

I pulled away from him and gave him a surprised look. He hadn't done it since Christmas and I assumed once was enough even though he said he enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting this out of him. "O-oh...well sure. Make sure to keep my thighs warm though, ok?"

He nodded like an excited puppy and stared at me. I stared back wondering why the hell he was stalling.

"Uh you gonna take off your pants or what?" Johnny asked.

"Oh shit! Sorry. Hold on." Duh, of course that's what he was waiting for. It took me forever to unlace my boots and kick them off given the minimal space we had especially since the driver's seat was pushed all the way back to accommodate his stupid long legs and I was directly behind it. Once my feet were finally free I wriggled out of my leggings, having a moment where I jammed my foot into the back of the seat. Who even thought car sex was a good idea ever?

"You good?" 

I nodded and resumed my spot laying down on the seat with one leg hanging off it. Johnny worked himself between my legs again and thankfully moved his heated tongue through my slit. He caressed his slightly rough hands over my thighs and dug his face deeper into me. "That's good, baby…" I mewled. He seemed to have taken the criticism from last time seriously, putting it into full effect. He was slower this time but keeping a good pace, sucking on my clit before flicking his tongue against it. I grabbed onto his hand that rested on my thigh and folded our fingers together. I gave him a gentle squeeze and edged my hips up slightly.

"That good?"

I nodded and begged him to keep going. He pushed his tongue into me then, circling around my entrance and thrusting against the beginnings of my walls. His thumb brushed against the left side of my hip, rubbing the sensitive erogenous zone. My legs were beginning to quiver and I wanted to grind into his face but was unsure how he'd feel about that just yet. I figured it might overstimulate him and didn't want him to have a panic attack. So I left him at his own pace unsure if I should ask for more. "Can I…" He cleared his throat and didn't look me in the eye. "Can I use my fingers now?"

"Y-yessss." I hissed in a shallow breath. "Put them in my mouth first?"

He nodded and slipped them in while he shoved his sweatpants down a little lower to rest beneath his cock. As I sucked deeply I creept my legs towards my chest to press my thighs together. Johnny took the hint and I was sure he used a bit of my cum and his saliva to wet himself enough to pass through my thighs. I knew it was needed but hated thinking about the process and tried to occupy my mind with the way his fingers just barely tickled the back of my throat. Johnny rocked himself upward this time, brushing against my clit before bursting through the barrier my thighs made. I gasped around his fingers and gripped his wrist tighter, moaning eagerly.

He continued those electrifying thrusts that made my toes curl and calves tense. He was nothing but a string of soft curses, tossing his head back in utter bliss. He moved faster as his desire grew and made my clit throb with all the attention it was getting, making it almost too sensitive. If he kept this up, and I knew he would want to do this for hours, he would cum too fast. I parted from his hand and set my own on his shoulder. "W-wait. You're getting too excited."

He groaned and pouted. "I am not. I'm not gonna bust a nut that quick."

"One, don't ever say that again. Two, just relax for a bit. You always get so worked up."

"I just want you so fucking bad. It's cold, you're hot. Just let me be inside you."

I went to say something but shut my mouth quickly. Well damn. I opened my legs once more and grabbed a hold of his cock to guide him towards me. I was able to see him stretch me apart until he was fully seated inside, both of us sighing in contentment. He lowered himself to rest flush against my body, making sure his warmth covered every inch of me. He pressed our lips together and I wrapped my arms around his back, falling deeply into his passionate kiss.

He began his descent into a perfect rhythm of push and pull, filling me until he couldn't go any further. That stretch that made my stomach ache always brought fluttering wings inside me, even more so when he paired it with sucking my bottom lip between his. His hand set itself over my covered breast and squeezed, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I still felt the motion and grabbed onto his sweatshirt tighter as I whimpered softly. Suddenly I heard a thud and Johnny stopped moving.

"Ow! Fuck!" He pulled away and held the top of his head as he had hit it on the door, wincing slightly.

I tried to stifle my laugh and pulled him closer so I could kiss the top of his head. "Aww, baby, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Stupid car isn't made for tall people."

"We could switch positions if you want." I offered which he quickly shut down.

"No, I like this one. It's fine." He grabbed onto the door instead, bracing himself to prevent any further incidents. He resumed his thrusting and I hid my giggling smile. I lifted myself onto my elbows to make it easier for him and to try and prevent any more accidents. I hooked my legs over the back of his thighs and from this position I was closer to his face and could plant kisses all over his lips, cheek, and neck, to soothe his damaged klutzy ego. He was avoiding looking at me, though I loved watching the way his body worked against mine.

His eyes remained squeezed shut and I convinced myself it was because of his embarrassment or that he was concentrating on his motions. I reminded myself that I should do the same and not worry so much about what he was thinking or if he was truly hurt. By the way he was slowly penetrating me I figured he was all for us staying connected. That was when I actually took notice of his speed. It was slow; more gentle than usual, almost as if he was trying to make love to me. My heart started racing then. This was way more intimate than I ever thought and not because of the close quarters of the car. What the hell was happening?

"J-johnny?"

"Do y-you like it this w-way?" He stuttered.

"Well...um...yeah it's nice. You can move faster if you want." I tried to break that too close for comfort feeling but he only shook his head and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"No. This feels too damn good. I can feel everything inside you." He breathed out. My whole body seemed to flush with fever and I had no idea what to do now. My eyes drifted to the frost covered window as if it was a magic mirror that could tell me my true desires. This was even different than the times we had sleepy sex. My head was starting to get hazy with overthinking and I could barely concentrate on how he was making my body feel.

 "Johnny are you ok?" Maybe something was wrong with how he was feeling. After all this was for the sake of warming up in the winter stampede. Going faster would speed up our body's adaptation to comfort.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and ignored my question which made me press my hand to his chest to stop him. "Johnny." I said sternly.

"What?"

"Answer my question."

"Don't ask it. I'm ok."

"Yeah but you just seem a bit strange."

"How am I strange?" He asked. I could tell that there was slight irritation in his voice. "We fuck all the time."

"But this isn't fucking…"

"What do you mean it's not fucking? My dick is inside you. Were fucking."

"No, no…" I said softly. "It's like...you're making love to me…"

"W-what? No! Absolutely not! Im just...it's just…"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything, Eri. Just focus. Am I making you feel good or not?"

"Yeah…too good."

Our eyes met then though he avoided them quickly. It was futile to try and get through to him. I sighed and started rocking my hips again, diverting both of our attentions to trying to get off. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, edging me as close as possible as he sat back on his knees. "That's good." I sighed into his shoulder. "Keep going."

He groaned deeply before he continued. "Where do you want me to cum?"

"Wait, you're close already?"

"No! I just wanted to know ahead of time." 

"Oh...uh...I guess I could just swallow?"

"You hate doing that."

I pouted a bit. "Yeah well where the hell else you gonna do it?! It'll be a mess if it's anywhere else."

"Ok, cool."

I threw up my hands and huffed. "What the hell is wrong with you?! This is driving me crazy! Just fuck me! Please!" Don't make me think about all the fucking feelings I have for you, you goddamn bastard. Just don't.

"I don't want to fuck right now! Can't I go slower?!"

"Since when do you want to go slower?! The last few times we've fucked it's been hard and fast. What's the change of attitude?"

"Jesus Christ! I just want to- I mean like it doesn't always have to be like that!" He exclaimed.

"Johnny, seriously, what's wrong?!" 

"Nothing!! I just love you, ok?!"