#he had used to be my friend and i cried in the bathroom afterwards

[wazzuppy]

i remember one time i heard something that was like "most women have been or know someone who has been assaulted and most men know or have known someone whose assaulted a person before" and then all at once every memory of girls and women and afabs and fem aligned people i'd ever known telling me about how a man had abused or assaulted them came flooding back to me and i was like. Oh.

[koishua]

my mom sitting there nodding along to my very emotional retelling of how i was chased by my classmate (actually my crush but she doesn't have to know that) who kept shoving a dead lizard in my face in ninth grade

[xkaidaxxxx]

Alpha Jack Atlas x Omega Reader

Mentions : Abuse,rape,runaway, foul language, rejection NSFW,, happy ending,etc.

Trigger warning!!⚠️

Sorry for any errors

The night you became Yusei’s was something you hated. Painful. It always was. One night Yusei marked you. The next morning you both were tangled underneath the sheets. Waking up, you panicked. “I don’t think I knotted you. I wouldn’t do that to you, you’re unattractive. I only followed the scent and decided to have a little fun for the night.” He spoke. It hurt your feelings. Yusei use to always be such a good boyfriend and now he’s nothing but an asshole who takes advantage of you. You had no one to turn to not even your family. Everyone followed Alpha Yusei. No one dared to go against him. After 3 months of being with him after he marked you was hell. Constantly abusing you. “I thought I told you to fucking be ready by 8pm! We’re late!” he yelled and slapped you. “I’m sorry. I was busy with the other duties you assigned me Alpha.” you held your tears back to not mess up your make up. “You’re useless. Get undressed now. Forget about the family gatherling at your family’s.” he ordered. You did as he said. Undressed. Revealing yourself to him. This wasn’t the first time he forced himself onto you. Mounted you, making you cry with pain. He fucked you roughly. Marks of his hand prints on your body. Tonight he crossed the line way too much. “You’re such a dirty slut for me.” you cried hating his comments. “Crying but taking my cock very well. You still cum around me. Isnt that so contridicting.” he spoke. You came of course but it wasnt because you wanted. Its whatever the body wanted. You cried out as he slapped your face. “ Nasty bitch.” he pulled out and came on your stomach. Afterwards he locked you in the closet. “No yu-yusei please! Let me out. Let me out of here!”you yelled banging on the door. He knew you were terrified of small dark places. You closed your eyes and layed in a fetal position, trying to imagine you were nice and warm in your bed. “ Disobey me and you know the consequences.” was the last thing you heard. He left you locked in for 2 weeks.You were starving,dirty, smelly and cold. No one could hear your cries. “I’m tired of being careful in this fucking hell. Whats wrong with me? I wish I could disappear.” You said and the door opened. “You smell like garbage. Come out and wash yourself. We have an event next week. You need to pull yourself together.”he said. You left running to the bathroom. You turned on the water waiting for it to get warm when it did you quickly jumped in. it was a long shower. You had to make sure you were super clean, that the stench went away all together. The following day you remembered what you had said to yourself about wanting to disappear. Thats exactly what you did. You moved away and started a new life. You got a new job and home and after a month of being there you found out you were pregnant. “You’re 3 months into your pregnancy ma’am congratulations.” the gynocologist said. After that appointment you went home and sat there touching the mark on your neck. You were pregnant with Yusei’s pup. “Hey how did the appointme-” your friend said as she walked into your home. She saw the tears running down your cheeks. “I’m pregnant. 3months in…I need to make a call to Mr.Atlas for my pregnancy leave. I’ll leave around my 6th month.” you said grabbing your phone. You scheduled a meeting with him tomorrow at 2pm.

Jack was a simple man. He doesn’t like beating around the bush. He easily does get irritated due to people messing up with work after he explained many times on how things should be done. He is kind of silly if you think about it. He is very kind and adorable in his own little way. He really has interest in you. He would’ve made a move on you from day one however he saw your mark. It was fading away but still there. He had his doubts of course. You never once mentioned a family vacation leave, nor any other type of family related things.

“ Hello Mr.Atlas.” you greeted him. “Hello. What was it that you needed speak to me about?” he asked crossing his arms. You were hesitant to ask this early in the pregnancy to have a leave. “I need a pregnancy leave..I’m 3 months along. I’m asking for a pregnancy leave by the time I’m 6 months.” You spoke up hoping he’d be alright with that. “ You can take a leave now. Pregnancy is hard.” he said. That idea of making a move on you was now far long. You laughed nervously. “N-no..I’m good sir I can last long for sure.” “Your husband would want you to rest as much as you can so its alright.” he said smiling yet still losing his mind somehow. “Oh..I don’t have a husband its just the baby and I hence why I would like more time to work.” you said. For some reason you felt so ashamed but its not your fault. You were forced to leave.Yusei abused you. No one should be abused. Not from their mates nor family and friends. “O-oh I see..Ms.L/N. You can start your leave now. You will still be getting paid. Don’t worry.” He said. That was such a blessing. Getting paid during your pregnancy leave. You will be able to not stress about how to pay the bills. He was going to pay you. Out of his pocket not his company. “ Thank you sir for understanding.” you said standing up. He was going to abuse his power. He has all his workers files. Copies of their ID’S, Address and Social securities. “ I hope your pregnancy goes good.” he said rubbing your back. It felt soothing. You loved his touch. You hummed and nodded. A sigh left your mouth. “Tired already?” he smiled after you realized how you responded to his touch. “I am so sorry Mr.Atlas that was very rude of me. Inappropiate.” you apologized. “Everyone needs a rub on the back from time to time. No need to worry” he chuckled. You blushed and headed back to your station and began to pack your things. The following months were hard. You kept in contact with your boss. He texted you normally. He was basically your friend now. He took time off to come check up on you at your home. “Y/n you call me as soon as you need help.” he ordered as he put on your shoes on you. “I-Im sorry..Your company needs you. It’s important.” you replied and started crying. Your emotions were all over the place. “Oh no no no I’m not getting mad at you. I want you to know that I always have time for you. I will always help you.” he said wiping your tears. During your pregnancy , he slowly started moving in. He’d stay over for day that he had his own section of the closet and drawers. There were two toothbrushes instead of one. Different set of shampoo,conditioner and body wash. He bought the baby girl clothes and her necessities. He was acting like a true husband and father. Every night he scented you. You felt safe and sound with him. You scented him through the day. Today he forgot the lunch you had made him. You decided to take it to him. You dolled up comfortably. Arriving to the building everyone stared at you and the lunch bag you had in your hands. Everyone knew no one in the building was your mate. Maybe his scent washed away after your prolonged shower.Since the receptionist didnt allow you to head to his office you had no other way but to call him and let him know you were downstairs. A few minutes he showed up. “Hey princess.” he said giving you a nice hug then rubbing your now 8th month bump. Your coworkers were shocked. You were with Jack Atlas. “You forgot your lunch silly. Next time you’ll have to get more sleep so you’re not in such a hurry in the morning.” you said as he took the lunch bag. “Thank you baby. Lets head back to my office. You look very beautiful in blue.” he commented and up you go. As you both entered the office you saw the one person you didnt expect to see. Yusei Fudo. The man you hated most in the world. “W-what the hell are you doing here? G-go away. You monster.” you said crying. You began to feel scared and you started to panic. Jack had no idea why you suddenly felt this way but he released his phermones around you and he held you.

“Shh shh princess it’s okay. I’m here no one will ever hurt you. Deep breaths.” you did as he said. Slowly calming down. “How do you know him sweetheart ?” Jack asked playing with you hair. “He was my ex mate. He was the one I ran away from. He’s a monster. He abused me in many ways. I hate him.” you replied rubbing your bump. Yusei knew it was his baby. He tried coming near but Jack stopped him. “y/n is now my woman and that baby is our daughter. Forget about the deal we were about to make. Get out of here.” he said with a growl. Yusei obeyed him. He didn’t care about his daughter and ex mate. “Will you allow me to mark you as mine?” Jack asked as he moved your hair to the side revealing your neck. “Once our little one is born of course.” he smiled. You couldn’t believe how much your life has changed in such a short amount of time.

The day finally came when you gave birth. You were struggling with a name. “Mhm this is harder than I thought.” he said. “Emilia Rosé Atlas.” you said with a smile. “Thats beautiful.” he said. After a few moments the nurse came back with a birth certificate. “All thats left is for us to marry.” he said kissing you. “ mhm yes” you replied kissing back. Your daughters birth was painful but it was such a wonderful day.

As the years passed you married him and moved into his home. You experienced all the wealth he has that is now yours as well. Your daughter grew up with such good parents. Emilia went to an amazing school. She excelled in many things. She was happy to have parents who always have time for her. She is very spoiled by her dad. You both taught her to be humble and giving. All good morals. Shes a very kind person. When Emilia was 6 you had twins, Jack and Ashton Atlas.. It was shocking but you and Jack were so happy. Emilia was jealous at first but grew to love them so much. She even made an oath to always protect them. Eventually the Atlas family was a family of 10.

1)Jack Atlas

2)Y/n Atlas

3)Emilia Rosê Atlas

4)Jack Atlas Jr

5)Ashton Atlas

6)Leilani Atlas

7)Taylor Atlas

8)Sage(Cat)

9)Lily (Cat)

10)Aurora (Cat)

[queencherryberry]

After a week of writers block here’s chapter 8.

Warnings: soft!randy, reader is pregnant, supportive!cody, light hearted sibling conversations, fluff

Chapter 8 of Brothers Best Friend

The next day you slept in while Cody got up and went to the gym. You woke up around noon just in time for lunch. You wandered to the kitchen to find Cody cooking. You walked up behind him and hugged him from behind. He still smelled like the gym but his muscles looked amazing. You kissed the back of his shoulder and sat down. You scrolled through your phone till you got a text from Brandi. ‘Hey chica! How’s the first day of no school treating you? I have a question; can you come back at like 3:30 to help me out with my nursing class? We’re doing ultrasounds of organs and we need live volunteers.’ You smiled and replied yes to her question. Cody served you your plate and you guys ate in silence.

At three Cody dropped you off at the school. “Text me when you’re done babe. Tell Brandi I say hi.” He smiled and leaned over to give you a kiss. You smiled and kissed him back. You got out of the car and walked into the building. You found your way to Brandi’s classroom. Fifteen minutes into the class and they were doing the ultrasounds. Brandi was looking over your organs till she came across your uterus. She gasped loud enough that the whole class looked over and gasped. Being dumb you pointed at the screen thinking it was a joke and asked what that was. When you saw Brandi wasn’t joking you looked back at the screen. “Oh fuck me…” you said in shock. “I think someone already did. Who’s the baby daddy? Is it jey? Did you guys have angry breakup sex?” Brandi kept firing off questions but you didn’t listen. You just stared at the screen in shock. You got up and bolted out of the room starting to cry. You went and hid in the girls bathroom.

After dry heaving and sobbing you called the only person who could truely calm you down. You called Randy. The phone call was a mess. He had barely understood anything you said through sobs and more dry heaving. You walked out to his car still crying. You immediately hugged him before he asked what was wrong. “Don’t be mad…I’m pregnant…” your emerald green eyes meeting his baby blue ones. You felt like you were a kid again getting in trouble. You waited for him to yell at you and say that you were stupid for letting this happen. You covered your face with your hands and prepared for the worst. “Relax…I’m not going to hit you like mom and dad used to. Just take a deep breath and when you calm down, explain everything.” He said calmly. You did as instructed and the both of you sat in silence till you felt comfortable.

“When I tell you, please, please, don’t leave Cody a bloody pulp?” You looked at him as he let out an exasperated sigh. “Depending on how this conversation goes…depends on how far deep in the ground I’m going to put his ass.” Randy said as he pulled into your favorite restaurant. “Hungry?” He asked. You nodded and got out of the car.

Later that night Randy dropped you off at home. Cody met you at the door. He pulled you inside and gave you a hug. “Are you okay? I was so worried, sweetheart. Why did you have Randy pick you up instead of me?” He asked, concerned. He held your hands and looked into your eyes with his big puppy dog ones. “You might want to sit down for this, hun. So, you know how I went to help Brandi in her class today? Well, they were doing ultrasounds on the organs and she passed by my uterus…” you started sitting him down and sitting next to him. “And she found something. A shocking something. Something…that’s gonna make us parents….” You continued. Cody’s face lit up and he hugged you. “How far along are you?” He asked innocently. “3 months. Brandis' teacher said it’s the same size as an orange. So still very tiny.” You explained. You weren’t expecting Cody to be so excited. All your panic washed away when he hugged you. You both cried happily for a bit. Afterwards he took you out to dinner.

Tags: @alyyaanna @alyanamrossi @mylittlepartofthegalaxy @crossrhodez @freegardenbanananeck

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: Dramione Teratophilia Fest (Part 2)

Dramione Teratophilia Fest 2.0 2023:

Moulting by emmarauren - M, one-shot - “My wings!” She cried. “They’re falling off.” “Oh sweetheart. They’re only moulting.”

Ministry Interference by seawitchcreations - E, one-shot - The Ministry has found that you are a MATCH for a Magical Creature. Please report to the office of Mr. Samuel Collins, located in Lab 43 on the 3rd Floor at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at your earliest convenience. We look forward to your cooperation in this matter. Courtesy of the DMLE. Hermione’s plan to take Draco home is derailed by Ministry Interference.

warped, wretched thing by LeafHouses - E, 2 chapters - Draco finds Harry slumped over his desk, body as still and cold as winter, skin already shrinking away from the bone. Ginny has been searching for her husband for a week, recalling the recent madness in him. She didn’t know about the little studio on the riverside, didn’t have a key to the door, and thus, didn’t find the body. Or the broken painting. or On a cold day in fall, Harry Potter dies suddenly, and Draco Malfoy is left with a broken heart, a distraught widow, and a haunting painting of a mysterious woman.

Into the Light by Absolutely_Avid - E, one-shot - Draco Malfoy, turned recluse and werewolf with one bite, has locked himself away in his manor. Content to waste his life away, Draco is put out when his best friend and childhood enemy conspire to drag him into the light.

Blessed in Darkness by EastWindmlk - E, one-shot - no summary

The Rockrose & The Thistle by Bana_Bhuidseach - M, WIP - It is selfishness that draws her out of the ocean to save him, and it is selfishness that makes him keep her on land afterwards.

À la Claire Fontaine by LiloLilyAnn - T, one-shot - Deep beneath the glassy surface of an enchanted lake, lived a lone water nymph. She knew not the world outside of her marine home nor why she feared those who walked on land, but she believed the feeling in her chest and the magic of the water around her that told her to flee from them, nonetheless. Until one day, a boy appeared on her shoreline, and everything she thought she knew was altered.

Breakfast in Bed and Other Conveniences of the Undead by Art_emis - E, one-shot - A tale of Hermione Granger and her compulsion to secure equity for all. Or, how Hermione Granger accidentally landed in a relationship with Draco Malfoy- Vampire, via the siren call of “properly conducted research.”

Yes, Master Malfoy by orphan_account - E, one-shot - "Draco takes in the tiny creature, such a special thing. A treasure he’d coveted the moment he set his eyes upon her. Granger was no ordinary house elf by any means, such a prize in his collection." Draco Malfoy has a house-elf kink.

I know you won't hurt me by katiekrum - M, one-shot - I'm not sure of my feelings for you, but I won't let anyone before me claim you as their own.

Benighted Traveler by Biirdiee_Rose - E, one-shot - Fingers wrap around his jaw, forcing him to look up and into glowing golden eyes. Oh holy shit— “You dare to disturb my place of rest?” Her voice carries centuries of power, rattling the very frame of him, sinking deep into his flesh and crackling his bones. Draco knows the moment he lays eyes on her who she is. The Princess of the 18th Dynasty. Hermione. Her name had been Hermione. - Draco's research project had been an utter failure so far, until he managed to stumble upon a hidden tomb. Not just any hidden tomb either, but the tomb of a princess everyone thought was lost to history. He didn't mean to wake the princess, nor upset her. Lucky for him, she might just find him useful.

Paranormal Activity by pinkhairandbooks - E, one-shot - The first time she had burst into his bathroom while he was having a private moment in his shower, manifesting her presence with a mocking “and you call that a wank?” Draco had screamed. The second time he had merely blushed furiously and closed better the shower curtain, though that had done nothing to cut off her snide comments about his supposed inability to masturbate. The third time he had snorted, terribly annoyed by those constant interruptions, and had let his irritation take control of his mouth. Idea that, in retrospect, he realized how bad it had been. “Do you want to explain to me how to do it, then?” He mumbled annoyedly, only popping his head out from behind the shower curtain to scowl at her.

We Were Prey by AutumnWeen - M, one-shot - “The name I used to bear is of no consequence. To you I am Draco. I must confess have grown fond of the name, as pretentious as it is. Did you know it was the dragon that guarded the golden apples of a goddess? Golden, like you.” Draco's memories of Hermione make her easy prey for the Fae, and not even her magic can protect her.

soft purrs and dark secrets by FeInTheClouds - E, 2 chapters - no summary

Venenum by pinkhairandbooks - E, one-shot - A dangerous creature has been lurking Hermione’s village since she can remember, too many animals have been killed and too many crops destroyed. Fearing for their lives the village offers Hermione to the beast as a virgin sacrifice, hoping she will quench its thirst.

This fest is ongoing.

[sequinsmile-x]

I Can’t Go Back to Where I Used To Be

This was never what she expected, a life she told herself that she would never get to have, but she was so glad she had it.

-x-

Hi friends, this is a fic for my friend @rawr-jess who just finished all of her exams!! And because I missed her birthday (in my defence I didn't know when it was until afterwards) I told her I'd write something for her now <3

It's full of girl dad Aaron, family fluff and all the good stuff.

-x-

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: pregnancy, references to infertility

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Another child had never been part of the plan. 

In Paris, she’d been told that having children was unlikely, but not impossible. It had devastated her. She’d walked home from that appointment in a daze, the streets of a city she’d once loved now her prison as she felt like nothing more than a ghost of her former self. When she returned to her apartment, a place she would never have chosen, she laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling. Her eyes fixed on the air conditioning unit that made a noise she could hear even now if she thought about it too much. 

She didn’t cry about it until she was already home, her months in Paris and her recovery both things she would rather forget as she got further and further away from them. It was only when she and Aaron were looking to buy a house together that she thought about it again. The real estate agent’s comment about how the room next to the master bedroom would make a perfect nursery hanging in the air around them, Aaron’s wistful smile enough to make Emily choke on familiar grief filling in her lungs, the sound of that old air conditioning unit clicking in her head the whole journey back to his apartment as he talked about how perfect the house was. 

She cried that night. Tears burning tracks down her cheeks as she told him what she was sure would stop their relationship, the very thing that had made her turn down Clyde’s offer of a job in London, in its tracks. Instead, all Aaron does is pull her into a hug and reassure her that he loved her, that he loved whatever life they were going to have together. Even if it just ended up just the two of them and Jack. 

Then Olivia came along. Bright pink, screaming and furious as she was handed to Emily. She remembered how her hands shook, her body pushed to its limit as she held her daughter for the first time, the anxiety she had felt her entire pregnancy flooding out of her as it was replaced with the love she’d been too afraid to feel ever since two lines appeared on a stick in their ensuite bathroom. Aaron had been by her side the entire time, the same calming reassurance he’d surrounded her with for months, his smile wide and full of wonder as they spent their first few moments with their little girl.

Two years later Elena was born. She was quieter than her sister, slightly more subdued from the start in a way that worried Emily at first, so used to the way Olivia was always insistent on what she wanted that she spent countless nights just watching her newborn sleep. As the months went by it became clear that Elena was just like Aaron and Jack. Quieter and more stoic than Emily and Oliva. 

Their family had felt complete, their home as hectic as it was full of love. Another child had never been part of the plan until Emily once again found herself with a positive pregnancy test in hand. Laughing as she wished she could go back and talk to the version of herself who cried into Aaron’s chest when she was sure they’d never have kids and tell her that, apparently, she and Aaron were the most fertile couple on the planet despite everything that technically should have been working against them. 

It’s how she found herself at her OBGYN for her 20-week scan with Aaron by her side, a fussy Elena in his lap as she recovers from getting her shots at her 12-month appointment. 

“You’re ok, princess,” Aaron says, holding Elena and her stuffed elephant, a bright pink thing called Penny named after the person who bought it for her, “Once Mommy has her appointment we can go home.” 

Emily reaches over to tuck some of Elena’s hair behind her ear, smiling when her daughter leans into her palm, seeking out the comfort the always wanted from her mother. She scoots towards her, her little fists reaching out for Emily and Aaron holds her even tighter. 

“You stay with Daddy for now sweet girl, ok?” She says gently, “Mommy is too full of baby and all the water I had to drink on the way here,” she looks at Aaron over Elena’s head and narrows her eyes when she sees he is smiling, “I don’t know what you’re smiling about, your doctor's appointment is next week.” 

Even though her age meant it was highly unlikely she’d be able to have another baby after this one, she wanted to make sure it wouldn’t happen. Aaron had readily agreed to the vasectomy, not arguing even once in a way that made her need to pull out all the reasons she’d come up with prior to raising it with him. She knew it was because he understood the practicalities of it, that he had watched her go through now three pregnancies that hadn’t been easy on her, and it was a relatively simple procedure. That, and she had made many threats that they were never having sex again if they didn’t do something.

“I know, sweetheart,” He says, picking up Penny as it hits the floor, knowing they would be in for a rough afternoon if they left it anywhere, “It’s in my calendar on my phone” he winks at her, “and you wrote it in red pen on the paper one my desk.” 

She smiles at him and places her hand on her stomach, the baby rolling around and pressing against her full bladder, “I just want to make sure,” she replies, “So, final chance - are we going to find out what we’re having?”

With Olivia, they’d found out as soon as they could. It was something that Emily could control, knowing that they were having a little girl the thing that had held her together throughout a pregnancy she’d once been told was unlikely to happen. When she had Elena they’d decided to leave it as a surprise which had led to both Emily and Aaron crying as their daughter was handed to them for the first time, the moment no less amazing than the first time. 

“I say we find out,” he replies, readjusting his hold on Elena who had now fallen asleep against him, “So we can prepare Dave in case it is another mini Emily.” 

She laughs and shakes her head, “Oh please, Elena might look like a mini-me but she is you through and through. She even has your scowl, which is impressive considering she’s only 12 months old.” 

“Emily Prentiss?” 

They both look up at the sound of her name being called, smiling as they look at the nurse. Emily looks back at her husband and reaches out to squeeze his hand, “Let’s go see the baby.” 

Neither of them notices how the bright pink elephant slips out of Elena’s slack hand as they stand.

___

“I cannot believe you left the damn elephant there.” 

“That’s a bad word, Mama.” 

Emily looks down at Olivia and smiles at the three-year-old, “Sorry sweetie, you’re right,” she looks back up at her husband and her smile slips off her face, “I cannot believe you left the elephant there.” 

Aaron pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath as he tries to zone out from the incessant crying coming from his youngest daughter. Elena woke up as soon as they got home and it became immediately clear that they had left her favourite toy at the doctor's office. She was inconsolable, her face buried in Emily’s neck as she paced back and forth in their living room with their daughter sitting on top of her bump. 

“I swear, Em I thought I had it.”

She glares at him, her irritation clear, and she takes a moment from comforting their daughter, “Well clearly you don’t.” 

“You didn’t have it either.” 

He regrets it the moment he says it, and he watches as his wife’s eyes go wide before he can apologise, “Well I was too busy trying not to pis-” she looks back down at Olivia, the little girl happily colouring in her book, before she looks back up, “Pee myself whilst I had an ultrasound for the best part of a freaking hour.” 

“You’re right,” he says, holding his hands up in front of him, stepping back towards the front door and picking his keys back off the side table, “I am sorry and I am on my way back to the doctor's office to get it.”  

She nods, pressing a kiss into Elena’s head as she rubs her hand up and down her back, “Ok, thank you,” she smiles at him, “I love you. Even if you do leave our kid’s favourite toy in a doctor's office.” 

He chuckles and opens the front door, “I love you too.” 

Eventually, mercifully, Elena falls asleep, worn out by her tears and vaguely placated by Oliva’s offer of every single one of her stuffed animals that she carried down the stairs one by one in an attempt to cheer up her sister. It makes Emily well up too, the kindness shown by her eldest daughter enough to tip her over the edge, but she manages to keep it together, well aware that they didn’t need someone else crying right now.

When Jack gets home from school, his eyes wide at the scene he comes home to, he takes Olivia to the den without being asked. Distracting her so Emily can focus entirely on her youngest. She feels the baby move in her belly and she smiles. 

Her youngest for now. 

Emily winces as the doorbell rings, and she looks at Elena, the little girl still fast asleep against her, and sighs in relief. She walks towards the door and smiles as she opens it, laughing as she looks Dave up and down, a box of cooking equipment in his hands. 

“You do realise we have pans here, right?” She says, stepping back so he can walk past her, “You don’t have to bring your own.” 

“If I’m cooking dinner for everyone I’m bringing my cast iron skillet,” he replies raising an eyebrow at her as they walk to the kitchen, his eyes flicking between her and the line of stuffed animals on the couch, “Remind me why I am cooking dinner for everyone when you’re hosting again?” 

“Because Aaron and I are the ones with small children and the last time you hosted Livvie drew on your living room wall with a crayon and you still won’t let me forget it.”

He chuckles as he places the box on the kitchen counter, “Do you know how expensive that wallpaper is?” 

“Yes,” she replies, shifting Elena in her now aching arms, “I wrote you a cheque for the replacement, remember?” 

Dave looks her up and down, “Should you be carrying her like that in your condition?” 

Emily narrows her eyes at him, “I’m pregnant, not sick. And if I put her down she will start crying because she got shots this morning so she’s cranky anyway, and Aaron left her favourite toy at the doctor's office.” 

“So that’s why his car isn’t in the driveway?” 

She nods, “He should be on his way back, hopefully with the pink elephant in tow or he’s sleeping on the couch tonight,” she says, “And Jack is currently being the best big brother in the world and keeping Livvie entertained with a game I know he hates.” 

He smiles as he starts to get his ingredients out, “Hopefully baby number three will be a boy to even things out for him and Aaron.” 

Her response catches in her chest and she holds Elena a little closer before she clears her through, “Actually, it’s another girl,” she says, her joy from when the doctor told her returning and mixing in with the anxiety she’d felt ever since, “We found out today.” 

Dave smiles, “Congratulations,” he says before he shakes his head, “Poor Aaron though, totally outnumbered.” 

She feels a pang in her chest, irritated that Dave seemed to have picked up on her biggest insecurity in one swoop. She was delighted they were having another girl, she would have been if they were having a boy. It still took her aback sometimes that this was her life. That she had a son, Jack every bit as much as hers as the girls were, and soon-to-be three daughters, that she had a husband who she could yell at about like mundane things like their kid’s favourite toy. Even though this third baby hadn’t been part of the plan she so desperately loved her already. 

And she knew Aaron did too, but a small part of her was worried he was disappointed that they were having another girl. They hadn’t had much of a chance to talk about it, the moment they got home Elena had woken up and everything had gone to hell, and now she wouldn’t get a chance to talk to him about it until the team left after pasta night. 

She fixes a smile on her face, “He loves it, you know that.” 

Dave nods, conceding to the well-known fact that if there was one thing Aaron loved it was being a dad, regardless of anything else. 

She’s grateful when he doesn’t say anything else, and she just hopes she’s right. 

___

Aaron yawns as he walks down the stairs of his home and towards the living room. He smiles when he sees Emily on the couch with Olivia, the toddler fast asleep in her mother’s lap.

“Jack is playing his video game, Ellie is fast asleep and Penny the elephant is secure in her arms,” he says quietly, “And I might put a damn tracker on it,” he smiles when she laughs and he points towards Olivia, “Want me to take her up?” 

Emily shakes her head, “Not yet,” she says, her fingers trailing through Olivia’s hair, “It’s rare I get to snuggle with her like this these days,” she looks back at her husband, “She’s always on the move.” 

He smiles as he settles on the couch and puts his arm around the two of them, “That’s because she’s just like you.” 

She rests her head against his shoulder, “I remember being so scared when I was pregnant with her,” she says, her eyes fixed on their daughter’s face, “I was terrified the whole time something was going to go wrong because nothing had ever gone right for me,” she blushes when she looks up at him, “Until you and Jack of course,” she looks back down at Olivia, “And then she was here and she was perfect.”

“She’s still perfect,” Aaron says, “Even when she’s insisting I’ve cut her watermelon the wrong way. She’s perfect,” he places his hand on Emily’s bump, “All of them are.” 

Her smile falters slightly and she feels the question she has been trying to push down all day climbing up her throat before she can stop it, “You’re not disappointed are you?” She asks, smiling when she feels a kick she knows he has too, “You’re not disappointed it's a girl?” 

He snaps his head up so fast it pulls at his neck, making him wince as he puts his hand on it to rub at the sore tendons. 

“What?” He asks, shaking his head, “Of course not. Do I seem disappointed?” 

“God, no,” she says, blowing out a breath as she closes her eyes, “No, I’m sorry. It’s just something Dave said before you got home and…” she drifts off, irritated at herself as tears flood her eyes, “At one point I was so sure I wouldn’t have any of this, l laid on the floor in my place in Paris and convinced myself I didn’t need any of this to be happy,” she jumps slightly when she feels his finger against her cheek, only realising she was actually crying until he wipes the tears away, “And maybe I would have been happy, a different kind of happy,” she says, her words catching in her chest, “But happy nonetheless. So all of this. You, Jack and the girls, and this baby all feels like it’s a dream I’ll wake up from one day.” 

“Em-”

“Like I’ll wake up on the floor in that fucking apartment with the stupid broken air conditioning and none of this will have been real.” 

“Sweeheart,” he says, stopping her from saying anything else, placing his hand back on her belly, both of them smiling when the baby kicks, “It’s all very real. I’m here, Ellie and Jack are upstairs, Livvie is sleeping right here on top of you,” he smiles again, “And baby girl number three is kicking up a storm in there,” he reaches up to wipe tears from her cheek, “And nothing about that could ever be disappointing to me.” 

A sob escapes her before she can prevent it, and she shakes her head, “Damn it, Aaron you can’t say shit like that to a pregnant woman.” 

“It’s true,” he says, leaning in to kiss her, his lips soft against hers, “I’d have a hundred little girls with you if I could.”

She laughs at that, shaking her head at him as she cups his cheek. He somehow always knew exactly what to say to cheer her up, and she was still after all these years getting used to having someone who loved her enough to understand her in that way. Any residual concern he was disappointed is gone, and she smiles at him. 

“Well that’s impossible for two reasons. One - I am 45 so having another kid after this one is unlikely as it is, and secondly-”

“I’m having a vasectomy next week.” 

She smiles and nods, stroking his cheek with her thumb, “You’re having a vasectomy next week,” they fall into brief silence, the only noise in the room Olivia’s soft breathing, before Emily speaks again, “We’ll have to come up with a name,” she says, kissing him again, “I can only think of boys names.” 

He chuckles, rubbing his hand over her bump, “We have time, plus maybe we can get the kids to help.” 

___

Emily winces as she readjusts in the hospital bed, shushing the newborn baby in her arms as she cries out at the movement. 

“It’s ok sweet girl,” she says quietly, “You’re ok,” she looks up at the clock on the wall and smiles to herself before she looks down at her daughter, “You’d better enjoy the quiet it’s the last time you’ll ever experience it. Daddy will be here any minute with your brother and sisters and we love them but they are all so loud.” 

She was looking forward to seeing her children, she’d missed them, but she was enjoying a few seconds of quiet with who she knew was going to be her last baby. 

“You look just like your sisters,” she whispers, running her fingers over the baby’s dark hair, “which means you look like me,” she smiles, “Sorry about the nose.” 

She hears familiar, and thundering footsteps in the hallway and she grimaces, knowing Aaron would be being glared at by any nurses who were in the hall. The door is flung open and she spots Olivia and Jack before they rush over to the bed. Aaron is in the room a second later, Elena on his hip as he smiles.

“Everyone be careful with Mom, ok?” He says, closing the door behind him, smiling before he walks over and leans down to kiss his wife, “Hi, how are you?” 

“Good,” she replies, “Tired.” 

“Understandable,” he replies, winking at her before he sits Elena down next to her, the little girl desperate for her mother, “Be careful, Ellie.” 

“Baby!” 

“That’s right, sweetie,” Emily says, shifting the blanket around the baby’s face so the others can see her, “This is your baby sister.”

“This is Jasmine?” Jack asks, his smile as wide as it was the first time he met Olivia and Elena, always excited to be an older brother. 

Emily smiles at Aaron who nods. They’d asked the kids to help name the baby and whilst they’d had to veto a number of options, most of the more ridiculous ones from Olivia who wanted to call the newborn ‘Mufasa’, and they finally settled on a name that seemed right. 

Aaron always called all of the girls princess anyway. 

“Yeah,” she says, looking back at the baby, “This is Jasmine.” 

-x-

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[huntinglove]

Hoi!

😋 You are teasing your f/o, how do they react? Are they bashful? Do they try to one up you?

📌 Your f/o has gotten the idea stuck in their head that they want to write you little notes for you to find throughout the day. They get up early to start hiding all the little notes they have written the past few days.

Where do they hide the notes? Is it places you visit daily or more obscure places so it comes as an extra surprise when you do find them? What's written on them? How does your f/o react whenever you find one?

🧻 You are sitting on the toilet, but to your horror there is no toilet paper.

How do you alert your f/o so they can help you? Do they tease you while helping out? Do they apologize? Did they even hear or acknowledge your cries for help?

For the unconventional asks game.

For any of the current mains you're focusing on right now. ^^

-@redwingedwolves

Hi hi!! Thank you so much for the ask!! I'll answer these for Charlie, Sir Pentious and Nause!!

😋 You are teasing your F/O, how do they react? Are they bashful? Do they try to one up you?

Charlie has a hard time keeping his composure altogether, he's blushing and fidgeting with his fingers while constantly tugging at his sweater. It'd be hard for him to try to say anything back.

If I really pushed his buttons right he'd end up pulling me into a kiss to at least shut me up until he can calm himself down~

Sir Pentious is flustered at first, but loses his filter and shame once he gets confident enough. He'd either end up pulling me into his lap to try and be a tease back or just pull me aside somewhere we can be alone together hehe

Nause would get overwhelmed very easily, and would end up needing to hold his axe for comfort. It's a good thing ghosts can't die twice! I'd go easy on him so he wouldn't get too overstimulated though, poor guy~

📌 Your F/O has gotten the idea stuck in their head that they want to write you little notes for you to find throughout the day. They get up early to start hiding all the little notes they have written the past few days. Where do they hide the notes? Is it places you visit daily or more obscure places so it comes as an extra surprise when you do find them? What's written on them? How does your F/O react whenever you find one?

Charlie wouldn't really hide them, he'd just have them all over every little place I usually go to. Be it in the house or downtown, there'd be dozens of them, just full of cute words and positivity, as well as little doodles to make me realize that they were specifically aimed at me!!

Sir Pentious would turn it into a game, he'd add hints about the other notes' locations on the back of each one, and would probably have a large gift with the last one, like a detective puzzle game of sorts! He'd have charades thrown in there as well, so I'd end up having to ask the hotel residents and our friends for hints and ideas, most of which would play along, others would just flat out tell me where the next note is...

Nause would use my own writing as inspiration, he'd take bits of his favorite stories of mine to form a letter, poem or phrase. When I had all of them, I'd find him asking me to read what I've written for the two of us, which would inevitably end in some self praise, much to his delight!

🧻 You are sitting on the toilet, but to your horror there is no toilet paper. How do you alert your F/O so they can help you? Do they tease you while helping out? Do they apologize? Did they even hear or acknowledge your cries for help?

Charlie would probably have some pads and toilet paper stashed away in the bathroom, just in case, so we wouldn't even have to deal with this situation to begin with!

Sir Pentious would be extra and awkward, instead of just looking away he'd end up covering his eyes before opening the door just a bit to hand the roll over, and forget to move his hand afterwards, causing a loud thump outside seconds later...

Nause would most likely forget that's something that happens, because he doesn't necessarily need to eat, so he'd most likely be apologetic and a bit hard on himself for not looking out for such a mistake. He'd end up making things awkward by just standing there and apologizing instead of leaving in the first place smh

[eddiiiieeee]

life update

so this month has been shit. my grandpas anniversary came up on the 8th. and the problems i mentioned before with my mom, oh and today. i cried again since Eddie (my ex). Saul broke up with me, i had two panic attacks, one in the middle of my arabic class, and another during english. yesterday i told him how i havent been feeling well and he told me to figure what i want out and text him but till then hes tired and going to sleep (we were doing long distance because he lives in argentina and i live waaaaay far away.) today during my arabic class i texted him and he told me hes breaking up with me, said that he loves me and cares for me but yet he thinks its whats good for us both. he proceeded to continue to tell me he loves me while i begged him not to and i ended up telling him that i will not forgive him for what hes doing and that i hate him for how hes hurting me, i logged out of the account and then in the afternoon during english, i checked and he ended up saying that he couldve up and left me but he didnt because he cares about me and loves me which is why he talked to me about it. and he replied to my other texts saying "sorry bye" and he removed me on snap as well as tiktok because those are the only things he had me on. (i checked snap on my laptop rn and his accounts gone, idk if its the same on my phone). i went to the bathroom while im shaking and like trying to breathe, and i called my best friends but only one picked up because she had a study period. after me and her talked for a bit anout what happened, i suddenly couldnt breathe, just completely couldnt for i dunno how long and then i just started sobbing. then when i was able to calm down, i got to class again and afterwards had a smoke session with the best friend i was talking to's sister. i met up with my best friend who didnt pick up and we walked back to our building, cuz we had class in a diff building. we found some of our close friends in this little garden area we have n sat there because after the smoke session i was gripping the railing in the staircases, as well as my best friends arm because i felt like throwing up and passing out. and at that moment i just started sobbing again and shaking, after a while of my friends attempting to calm me down, my business teacher saw me and i told her i was fine she said obviously im not if im this distraught but if i need her i know where her office is. i had a talk with my old chem teacher because i trust him and cuz my music teacher (was mentioned before) had a lesson. everyone tried to get me to cheer up, one friend just held me (which i needed i love being held), one jumped up and kicked his feet while impersonating mickey mouse, the friend who answered my call sang arabic lulibies for me and then niki manaj, my friend who was at the garden area started singing cupcake songs, my friend who didnt pick up my call just stuck with me the entire day and made sure i drank enough water even tho i didnt eat at all even tho she tried, my other friend checked up on me every five minutes and during our lessons together, a bunch of my other friends tried to cheer me up. but nothing worked and i dont think i can just explain how exhausted and tired and drained i am rn.

[cicidarkarts]

Hospice - 4: Anne

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The more his mother declined, the more Ominis needed to get out of the hospital room. Not only was it too much hearing her struggle to breathe or listening to her groan in pain whenever the nurses helped her get up, but she began to take it out on him whenever she could.

“If I didn’t have to worry about you so much, I’d be feeling better,” she would say. Or worse, “If you were just a normal child, you could help me”.

He found himself locked in a bathroom stall sobbing after that comment. Behind the closed door in the quiet, empty bathroom, he felt hidden enough to let it out. He, too, wished he could be a normal child, with a normal life, and normal loving parents.

Seeing what Sebastian had before his parents’ demise, how much they loved and cared for their twins, made his mind boil with undue rage. He wanted that. So badly. And his heart fell with heavy guilt when he noticed his rage being directed at the now orphaned Sebastian. It wasn’t Sebastian’s fault that Ominis’ mother fell short of her role.

The bathroom door opened and Ominis hurriedly wiped his face and stopped crying. One treacherous sniffle snuck out.

“Hello?” came Sebastian’s echoing voice. “Are you all right?”

Ominis stayed silent. He listened for Sebastian’s footsteps, hearing them through the bathroom and over by the urinals. Sebastian went about his business so Ominis buried his face in his arms, feet up on the toilet seat, and he waited. But after washing his hands, Sebastian’s footfalls didn’t exit the bathroom. He knocked on the stall door.

“Ominis, is that you?” “How did you know?” “I can see your cane.” “Oh…” Right. He’d shoved it in the corner of the stall when he rushed in here. “Are you okay?” Sebastian asked. “My mum hates me.” “I’m sure she doesn’t hate—” “She wishes I could be normal.”

Silence again. Ominis got down off the toilet and exited the stall. He felt Sebastian’s presence before him and thrust his arms out. Once he grabbed on, Sebastian reciprocated and pulled Ominis into a hug. Ominis cried again.

Later that afternoon, Sebastian didn’t allow Ominis to go back to his mother. Instead, he and Ominis got dinner at the cafeteria and headed back to Sebastian’s room.

“I can’t wait for you to meet Anne!” said Sebastian. “She’s so excited to see you. She’s just been exhausted this past week, moving in here and all. I didn’t want to overwhelm her, you know?” “I understand. I can’t wait to meet her, too.”

Anne’s room was brighter, filled with the sunlight gleaming through the open window. There was a smell of sweets and delicious food. Unlike the lung-constricting air of his mother’s room, he found it easy to breathe here.

“Hi, Sebastian,” said a weak but excited girl. “Oh! Is that the boy you’ve mentioned?” “Hello. I’m Ominis. You must be Anne.” “Hello, young man,” came another voice—a large one of a man. “I’m Solomon Sallow. Our Sebastian has told us a lot about you.” “All good things I hope, sir.”

Ominis heard the shuffling of sheets, then felt arms around him. Long hair tickled his warming face as he hugged Anne back.

“I’m so glad Sebastian has found a friend!” said Anne. “Don’t smother him, Anne,” said Sebastian.

They soon gathered around their dining table by the window, with Ominis sitting between Anne and Sebastian. They ate their cafeteria food, chatting between bites. Ominis stayed quiet.

“Why do you have to stuff your cheeks, Sebastian?” Anne asked. “Shu' up,” Sebastian said, his mouth so full. Anne giggled. “Don’t go for another bite!” “Do wha’ I wan’.”

Anne and Sebastian’s laughter made Ominis smile. He didn’t speak for the whole of dinner, and no one tried to force him.

Afterwards, Uncle Solomon let Anne out with Sebastian and Ominis. Ominis watched the twins glow in each other's presence, laughing and giggling, whispering to one another little in-jokes that Ominis didn't understand. He avoided the urge to read their minds and get involved. Seeing them be so loving was all Ominis needed.

In the kids' playroom, Anne demonstrated a very Sebastian-like confidence. She ran up to everyone and chatted without fear, and thrust Ominis into the midst of several uncomfortable social interactions.   "This is Ominis!" Anne introduced. "He's such a sweet guy!" The girl giggled. "Hi, Ominis." "Uh, h-hi," he said, fiddling with his cane and cursing that his voice sounded so weak.

Both Anne and the other girl giggled again, skyrocketing his heart rate and leaving him all out of sorts. Sebastian tried his best not to laugh at Ominis floundering, stuttering over his words in front of a girl, but he still heard his friend's snickering.

He was thankful to return to the normalcy and comfort of the death betters that Sunday. He and Sebastian sat with the men who all put up their bets, with a couple high-rollers. Ominis read the mind of a passing nurse and confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that a man named Herman was on the chopping block for the week. Not wanting to be outshone, Ominis whispered to Sebastian who then counted the money. 

"50 bucks on Herman," said Ominis. "50!? Didn't want to chicken out, eh?" asked Phil. "Told ya not to tempt the boy!" said Marcus.

But they accepted his bet either way. All they needed to do now was wait for the results.

As he and Sebastian headed back to their rooms, they got to chatting.

"50 bucks, eh, Mr. High-Roller?" asked Sebastian. "That nurse has never been wrong in all the weeks I've lived here. It's an assured win. 25 for each of us." "You'd really go 50/50 with me?" "Of course. You're my friend." "Wow, thank you, Ominis! You have no idea how much that means to me. If we can keep getting these payouts, maybe I'll finally get enough money to cure Anne." Ominis smiled. "I really hope so, Sebastian. I want to see Anne healthy, too." "What about your mum?" "Don't get me wrong, I'd rather her not be sick, but I'm not so sure she's going to pull through. I'm just trying to make her comfortable as much as I can before she dies." "I'm really sorry, Ominis." Sebastian's hand cupped his shoulder. "You're very brave, you know." "Yeah, not everyone can survive my mother."

Sebastian cracked up, making Ominis join in. The release of his tension, the sounds of their joy, and the heartening of his chest eased the fears and worries of his mind. Temporary as that fleeting moment was, Ominis knew he'd cherish it forever.

[lifewithoutmeds]

March 18, 2024

Monday.

Saturday (Lana's birthday dinner) was okay. There were a total of six of us, including mirna, and i ended up talking to her most of the time. i tried to stay on topic, that is, trying to be conversational and a part of other people's conversations, but towards the end, i think i started crying again, in the bathroom, and just weeping and everybody consoling me and me being embarrassed, and after dinner, mirna and i got a drink at the nearby farbar, and i was thinking how jadai and her coworkers came here once, and i called up the staff and asked to be billed for a pitcher of margaritas and vegetarian nachos, and i was so pleased to be thinking about how surprised and glad they would be when they got them. so of course far bar made me weepy too. mirna was kind, sympathetic, of course, and she told me about her exes, and her current boo and how hard things have been and it was somewhat reassuring to know that other people struggled too, even when they were together, even when they were partnered.

sunday i went to church and met grace k there. i cried at church again and then wept talking to grace afterward. i then went to meet amy lee for lunch and cried the whole time. after a nap or cleaning or something i met up with patrick, caroline, grace y and her husband, and we went to this st. patrick's day thing that patrick's friend was hosting and we had dinner, some whiskey, live irish music, and some table magic. halfway through i started to cry and james showed some genuine irritation/frustration at me. i thought the singer looked like jadai, she sant a song off of U2's joshua tree album, i thought of how i'd been to joshua tree three times with jadai, once for her birthday, they sang sinead o'connor's "nothing compares to you" and i cried and cried.

i just feel again that everything is so sad and painful and pointless and that jadai was the light of my life and extinguished it when she left it. today is monday and i woke up with the now familiar heaviness, the defeated long sighs, feeling deflated, broken.

however.

however.

i'm having some interesting insights.

in my last therapy session with kelda, i suddenly burst out that i didn't think i needed to tell jadai how i was feeling, and that i would rather that she didn't feel bad, because i was worthless. and i kind of was startled at this admission. i don't think i'd ever articulated it before, but there it was, out in the open. even yesterday or so, i was thinking about how as much as i've been pedestalizing jadai, one genuine flaw that i could agree with was that she had abandoned cooper, just thrown him away when he outlived his usefulness, and how cooper didn't deserve it, that he was the best dog, that it wasn't him that changed, it was her. and then it struck me that .... i somehow thought it was the worst crime that she would abandon him, but that somehow it was acceptable that it could happen to me. that somehow, i believed that i should be treated less than cooper. that i was less worthy than a dog (to be fair, cooper is a one of a kind, a one in a million dog, but still, the point stands.)

i'm just kind of catching myself with surprise as i realize the extent to how poorly i perceive myself. at how little i think i deserve. at how little i think i am. at how meaningless, worthless, and insignificant i am. it's almost shocking. and it explains so much.

it explains why i have such a hard time with children, because they don't respect me, because they don't listen, because i can't establish boundaries, and because they trample all over me and only because i seem to let them, i end up avoiding them and resenting them instead of being firm and standing my ground.

it explains why i rarely speak up, why i scurry to the sides, why i nearly jump off the sidewalk when others walk by. somehow, they are more deserving of sidewalk space than i am, and i need to always bow down, always defer, always just get out of the way, an inconvenience that should never be a bother to anyone.

it's why i paid for lorena and DJ's meals, why i became so subservient, why i would pick them up and drop them off at LAX, wash their cars, fill their gas tanks with premium gas. somehow it was enough to be in their presence, somehow, mere proximity was good enough for me. i remember saying something about how marvelous it would be just to touch the hem of their garment. i had elevated them to gods and myself to a worshiper.

i actually remember once crushing on jennifer anniston and wishing i could be her chauffeur or even her loyal dog. just to be there. just to be near her. to protect her, to serve her, but it never occurred to me that i could be loved by her, adored by her, cared for by her.

and i'm realizing now why the loss of jadai has been so devastating.

i have been longing for relationship, true, deep, meaningful, completely accepting relationship my whole life. although my parents met my financial and physical needs, i still felt left out, i often felt ignored and alone, that as long as my basic needs were met, my wants weren't. they wouldn't stop when i wanted to stop on our roadtrips. they wouldn't let me go where i wanted to go in china. they rarely acquiesced to my desires, to my pleading, and then that longing was still there, but long unmet.

i always latched onto some female for comfort, for friendship, for acceptance. i needed someone to watch out for me, to sit with at lunch, to walk through the school hallways with. i remember that there'd be this patch of grass or pavement that my friend group would always sit at during lunch, but on rainy days, when we couldn't meet, i didn't know where anyone was. we would just separately exit our classrooms and i don't know if they found other lunch partners, but i rarely did, and i'd just wander, and go back and forth to the restrooms, and up and down the stairs, just biding my time, because i felt so desperate and alone and embarrassed at my aloneness.

this would explain my fervent attachment to nida (well, a lot of things would), and how my happiest times were when i felt completely seen, accepted, and understood. when i had a group, a support network. this would be when i was in RP class 69 and i had lunch friends, happy hour friends. when grace k and grace y were in their low periods, and i had church friends, after-church friends, concert-friends, drinking buddies, hangout buddies.

my worst moments were when i felt alone, isolated, ignored, forgotten. when grace k and grace y would skip off together and temporarily ignore me. when i'd become their driver and they'd giggle in the backseat, with some inside joke that i couldn't hear. at weddings when people would pair off or get lost dancing, or whatever, i would just wander away and 9 times out of 10, go missing, black out, cry, and then not quite know what happened.

of course in my 30's, my friends started to leave. they got married, they moved, they had kids, they got busy. they were either marrying or dreaming of marriage, and i somehow knew that that was not in my cards, as i fought being a lesbian, or just had to accept that even if i was, i could not embrace it, i could not find a partner, that i'd be so alone.

and then came jadai. beautiful, brilliant jadai. strong in every way i was weak, tall when i was short, fit when i was fat, brave when i was weak. she was so admirable, and she loved me so so much. i could do no wrong. she thought i was so smart, so funny, so capable, and even things i never thought of myself as, such as beautiful, desirable, lovable. she was my best friend, my protector, my confidante, my partner in every way. suddenly, i was never alone. suddenly, i didn't need to scramble or beg people to go places with me, jadai was eager and willing. finally i could book all of those camping spots, i could go fishing and to lakes and to rivers and to hikes because she was so strong and so tall and i felt so safe. finally i had someone to take trips with, vacations with, i had new year's day plans, i had july 4th plans, i suddenly had such a big and loving community/support group in her friends and family, and the biggest fan club because they saw how well i took care of jadai, how kind i was to her, how considerate i was towards her. she thought the world of me, and i felt so confident for the first time. i felt that everything was worth it, that every struggle, every misery, all of the suffering was finally being made up for because this was the gold at the end of the rainbow. had i known it would have come to this, i would have been much less despairing for the majority of my life.

and then, almost just as suddenly as i was everything to her, i became nothing. i was lazy. i was unmotivated. i slept too much. i couldn't run as far or bicycle as long. i wasn't socially aware enough. i was selfish and self-centered. i didn't care about BIPOC or LGBTQIA rights or systemic change, policy change, abolishment of police, decriminalization of almost everything. suddenly i wasn't extraordinary at all. suddenly, i was not even mediocre. i was worthless.

and that's the full circle. i had felt worthless before she came into my life. i felt worthy when she was in my life. and i felt even more worthless once she left.

i'm again starting to creep out of this vast abyss. as much as i'm worshiping her, idolizing her, mis-remembering her to be perfect, this is less a reflection of her own weaknesses or character flaws and more of my convictions regarding my lack of self worth. she was the sun, and she made my life bright, and then when she left i was left in darkness.

i need to remember that jadai is not the sun, and that i am not a faceless void without her.

i somehow need to remember that i have value, even if she doesn't see it in me anymore or remind me of it.

she showed me, for a time, that i was smart, that i was capable, that i was funny, that i was sociable, that i could fit in, that i could be seen and known and accepted, that i could be viewed as attractive, but mostly that i could be desired and even loved.

jadai didn't want to wait for me to become closer to who she wanted by our relationship's end. i wasn't young enough, athletic enough, civic minded enough, brave enough, or ready enough for marriage. and she found someone who was all of those things. i understand in some way that we had deep, far-reaching incompatibilities. i understand (sometimes) that it wouldn't have lasted. and the longer it went on, the more it would hurt, because i'd just have banked so many more good memories, that harder i would have clung to not lose how she made me feel.

i understand that right now, even though i can't quite grasp it or believe it enough to make a difference emotionally. my heart still stings, just tiny little slices of the sharpest knife. this can't last forever. i don't think i could mentally bear it. i'm getting so exhausted. i'm sprouting white hairs. my sighs are getting deeper.

i need as always, to learn self-love, self-care. i cannot seek out a relationship to cure my loneliness, to heal my brokenness, to show me my worth. somehow, someway, i need to claw it out myself.

goals, as usual, as always.

things i'm insecure about: weight, appearance, dress/style how to improve: eat healthily, exercise, shower more often, commit to a skin-regimen, and go shopping occasionally to see what might look good on me. value added to the world how to improve: focus more on what i think i could do to ease the world's suffering, or even some people's suffering. animal shelter volunteering, kits for the homeless, some sort of volunteering for LGBTQIA youth

creative outlet learn more about fishing, excel in it, share it with others write more, and consider writing formally, either in poetry or memoir-form learn more about things in general, read manuals, just improve a few skills

i think i need to work on this twofold: remind myself of my strengths. be aware of and work on my weaknesses. strive for regular and continuous improvement.

ultimately, i need to be at a place where i'm not dependent on some external force for validation. somehow, someway, i need to make this life meaningful and beautiful for me.

[pivotbitches]

I’ve had so much social anxiety since the funeral. I don’t feel like me anymore.

I did dance marathon this past weekend and almost immediately had an anxiety attack when I got to the gym. I had been dreading going the day before and that morning and but told myself that it was going to be so much more fun and the scenario I was making in my head wasn’t real. Then I got there and it was pretty much exactly like the scenario I made up. I felt so out of place, I was alone in a room full of people, I didn’t know what to do or what was going on. I spent a few minutes trying to find and figure out the schedule, because surely that would help but it wasn’t as structured as I thought it would be. I decided I’d go to the bag check but the walk from the main floor to the bottom floor was enough to put me into full panic. I ended up in a bathroom that was away from everyone and just cried and shook and breathed for a solid minute. I was trying to stay there until someone in my group got there so I ended up playing basketball ball for 10 minutes. But dance marathon took over that gym too so I just left and went to hangout with Casi at her house so that I wouldn’t be alone. A couple hours later I went back and ate lunch by myself and then found Natalie and her bf. It was still awkward but was better.

Yesterday, I went back to Casi’s house and watched baseball and some movies with her but then at the end when I was about to leave we started discussing (low key arguing) about minors (13-17) having access to social media and I ended up cutting it off because I was annoyed and felt like she didn’t understand me and then I was driving home and replaying it over and over and started to feel like she thinks I’m broken or something idk. Whatever it was struck a cord and made me want to cry and also made me angry.

I also feel like everything I say rn is bitchy or argumentative. It’s like every thought just comes out and immediately afterwards I’m kicking myself because it came out mean or snarky which wasn’t the intention. But can there be an intention when you just say the first thing in your mind?

Lastly, I feel so inferior. I feel like the “duff”. I stg every time I like someone they end up liking my friend and it makes me feel like shit. Like I’m not good enough and never will be. I like the guy in my lab and have even told my friends about it. Casi came into the lab to study and the three of us talked for a second in between some other conversations. Then this afternoon Jack and I were leaving at the same time and he asked about what she was studying and my heart sank. I know it could just be him making conversation, but she hadn’t been there for hours and he brought her up. It hurts. I also offered him a ride and he declined and that fucked me up a little too, bc if he liked me he would have accepted the invitation.

Now I’m home, and it hit me how empty I feel. And it’s not just emptiness, but it’s almost like I’m in this constant state of confusion (?) where I don’t know what I feel or why I feel like I do it’s weird. I don’t have a desire to do anything. I don’t want to talk to anyone. For the first time, I don’t want to go to therapy, but I know I need to because I am spiraling a little bit. I’m just honestly waiting for it to be dark out and a slightly more acceptable time so I can just go to sleep.

[bts5sosempire]

as yours (ix); stranger danger

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: sukuna ryomen x reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2,103

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: fluff, comedy, a hint of violence, college au, mention of gang fighting/ involvement, a sprinkle of angst (future updates), cursing and swearing, slow-burn relationship, SIMPKUNA, tw: eating disorder (only for this chapter, skip it if it makes you uncomfy until you see another DOT)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:  "as a child, you have harbored a massive crush on Itadori Yuji; it wasn't until that college happened you dared to ask him. Trying to give him a letter, the one who you ended up giving to was no other than his no-good twin brother, Sukuna Ryomen."

𝐚/𝐧: we getting to the midpoint of the story, about to go up a notch, and mc's constant denial of attraction towards Sukuna. The fact that I fucked up on using Shimei's first name, not her surname, which is Honoka, and we are already this far into the story, so bear with me and my stupidity. Plus, I changed some things up, too, in some parts that are minor and nothing too serious in the story.

chapter 8 ✿ chapter 10

Shimei looks at herself in the mirror and eyes her partially nude figure; she smooths a hand down her flat stomach, and dissatisfaction comes across her face, she turns to the side, and her expression is more evident. And below her feet were wrappers of snacks she had just consumed previously. Without a thought, the urge to puke was intense that rushing to the bathroom was a priority. Shimei flipped the lid open and threw up any content she had been eating; it was not even an hour before the acid could digest the food.

The sound of her gagging was evident; Shimei cried while wiping tears away. Her stomach hurts from so much exertion that by the time she was done, she stood up and washed her face and rinsed her mouth. 'Why can't he look at me the same he looks at her?' Shimei's thoughts keep drifting to Sukuna and his lingering gazes that were always present to you no matter how much you loath it. She thought that a person like you didn't deserve it. 'I should be the one he looks at!' Staring back at her in the bathroom mirror was someone tired and worn out, with dark bags clinging underneath and gaunt cheekbones. 'I tried to do everything to make him look this way, but it's always her!' Shimei then tried to make a hairstyle that resembles yours, practicing her smile, trying to match it too eerily, and she turned her face from side to side see which features that she had that could be altered to match yours. But obsession comes with a price—her sanity.

With a frustrating scream ripped out through her, Shimei realized that you're far different from her, born from a good family that supports your education. Anger and jealousy shook her body so much that Shimei shattered the mirror with a closed fist and tore some skin from her knuckles. She swipes any of her beauty products or personal care onto the bathroom floor as it clatters loudly.

.

At your table, nobody utters a word about the resort situation, not even Maki; the very breath of mention sends her skin running red hot. You didn't want to talk about it since Sukuna was handling the problems; you wonder what he talked about that left the manager shaking like a leaf afterward.

Your phone buzzes with text messages, and you look at it to find a miss call from your mom also.

Monday, December 23rd, 20XX

[Mom: Your sister is missing. The daycare said they don't know who took her. Before they got to her, she left with someone on the bus. -Sent: 5:06 pm]

Reading the texts sent your heart to a drop, and you paled immediately; your hands shook with fear that everyone at the table was alerted when you abruptly stood up, causing the chair to fall off with a thud. Your friends called out to you, but you started sprinting home as you pushed people aside. 'Fuck! How could they be so careless?!'

Yuji and Shimei saw your figure running across the campus at full speed that even your friends were struggling to chase you and calling your name repeatedly.

.

Your body was pumped with adrenaline from running and hailing the first cab you saw (or jumping in front of it like a mad woman) to go to the daycare center where your sister was supposed to be. By the time you have arrived, blurs of red and blue sirens caught your field of vision, your mother helplessly crying, and your father's forlorn utterance while trying to calm your mother down. The cops were doing what they could by saying they were looking for her.

"Mom, Dad," you called out to them once you made it near enough. When you extend your arms to hug her mother, she pulls you down and tightly grips you while crying on your shoulder.

"Haruna is so small; I don't know if I could handle the thought of knowing if something bad could happen to her (Name)." Your heartbroken mother continuously cries.

"Did anyone see who she walked out with?" You asked, and your mother shook her head, and so did your father when you turned to look at him. The cops handed you a few photos of your baby sister interacting with a person who squatted down to her height; you couldn't see the person very well, seeing as their face was obscure, but the stature was a male.

The next one was the stranger picking up your sister by lifting her over the waist-length fence at ease; you notice how far away Haruna was compared to all the other children in the photo.

In the final photo, they both head toward the bus stop, with Haruna occupied by some small keychain and him holding her hand, but something caught your eyes. It was a tattoo.

"Is this all?" You ask the cop, feeling quite frustrated with the lack of evidence. They give you a few words of confirmation since the camera wasn't located around the whole premises; it was revealed under muttered breaths that a few of the cameras were nothing but props. 'What the fuck? How could this daycare still be running if they can't even have proper security?' Frustration turned to anger; you're kind of mad at your parents for choosing this daycare when you made it clear that it wasn't safe from all the reviews that had shown the negativity when helping your parents research where to drop off your sister. But since all the other daycares were too expensive to be decent, they stuck Haruna into a cheap one.

.

By the time you and your parents made it home, it was already near 10 pm. Your friends were waiting and sitting at your doorsteps; you had left your bag and school work behind during your emergency. You usher your parents inside first and tell them you will be inside a few after talking to your friends.

"We heard what happened," Panda spoke up quietly. Words do travel fast sometimes. You took a long shaky breath and wiped away any tears that threatened to fall. Shifting around and wrapping your arms around, you wanted to reassure them about the situation, but knowing them wouldn't make it better. They could try to comfort you, but it wouldn't also make it better.

"I hate this feeling," you softly said, the feeling of discontent and fear settling on your nerves, "I don't know why this is happening, but I want her back safe and sound." Like your mother said previously, Haruna was such a small delicate child who could barely harm anything due to her size. An adorable toddler who hasn't been taught to fear the world or develop a sense of danger. Your fingers keep digging through the clothes of your elbows, wanting to pick the skin off.

"(Name) we will be on the lookout too," Maki said; even though she was always stern, the expression of trouble was painted across her face, but you know exactly why she said that. You remember Maki telling you about her twin sister Mai, who now went to a different college and had a fallout during senior graduation. Maki didn't go into great detail, but you get the picture, her desire to rekindle her with her twin and wanted things to go back to how they used to be. So far, the dream was out of reach; Mai had refused to reconcile at any cost. Maki couldn't do anything other than grant Mai's wish and let it be.

.

You couldn't sleep; it was past 1 am; you tossed and turned in bed, waiting for sleep to catch you or just anything. But your eyes drifted to your window and saw sprinkles of snow salting the outside world. You wonder if Haruna is warm or being kept from harm. Pushing yourself up from your bed, your phone lights up. You saw the notification message pop up.

[Sukuna: Open your window. -Sent: 1:47 am]

Rushing out of bed, you went over to it and saw Sukuna, who was waiting for you in the snow; his face was dusted pink from the cold, with the tip of his nose and ears turning red. You didn't see him today since he last texted you hours ago from before, saying he would be gone for a while. But seeing him now is also surreal; you unlatched your window open. Pushing it open, the cold air breeze through the room, and you shook lightly at the temperature.

Sukuna made their way up to your bedroom window; he had no difficulty getting up. Uraume had told Sukuna through a phone call that your little sister went missing, so he ditched any plan he had that day and drove across the city for hours to comfort you. His heavy boots made it inside, and snow littered your floorboard; Sukuna gripped the window sills and heaved his body inside.

The man lets out light puffs of hot air as it evaporates, and the light coat of snow that managed to get him during his ride dusted itself onto your floor also. The first thing Sukuna did was bring you close to him; he refused to let go even when you tense up. It didn't take long for Sukuna to figure out who was behind the kidnapping; with all sorts of connections around him, pulling strings was easy. He felt your arms around him, and you relax gradually, making Sukuna hold you even tighter. He buried his nose into your hair and rubbed a hand against your upper back.

"I'm scared." You confess to him in a horse hush whisper. For some reason, it's easier to talk to Sukuna; you wonder if it was the way you're falling for him without knowing. Or was it the sense of security he brings whenever he's nearby? Perhaps it's both, or you're not sure at this point with your mind jumbled up about your sister's kidnapping.

"And I promise you I would bring her back," using his low gravitating voice, Sukuna guides you back to bed. He settles you inside the seat and sits by the edge of the bed, his eyes looking outside the snow before it flits back at you. Sukuna could see the tiredness in those orbs of yours, how the rims are also red. Even though he waited for a while until you fell into a deep sleep, he brushed your hair away from your face.

Sukuna pulled out his phone when he felt a buzz; what he read made his face instantly sour.

[Unknown: How's the miss you like doing? :) I thought you would like to know about her little sister's well-being; she's obedient after a few scares. -Sent: 2:43 am]

[Unknown: //sent attachment// -Sent: 2:44 am]

Sukuna opens the attachment and sees Haruna sleeping with her body curled up in a corner; they don't even give her proper warmth. He quickly sent the number to Uraume to track the location down but realized it was signal blocked, and he clenched his jaws in dissatisfaction.

[Unknown: I wouldn't do that if I were you, what you do depends on what happens to the pretty miss little sister here. You wouldn't want her to hate you if something terrible happened, right? -Sent: 2:46 am]

Even the number has a tracking service.

[Unknown: Meet me on Christmas Eve, I'll send the location. If you can accomplish this, I'll let you walk home with the little girl as a present for her family. Wouldn't it be great, though, to be more well-liked than before? This could make them in your debt forever, even that woman you have been pining for who knows how long. -Sent: 2:48 am]

If Sukuna could feel the bastard grinning through the phone, he could. The rat keeps slipping through the crack; he would ensure to exterminate it this time. Maybe playing too easy has made this fool too egotistical.

Taking one last look at you, he went out through the same way where he came out.

.

You woke up hours later to see it was near 7 am; your mother would've woken you up an hour ago and chastised you for not being up on time. But today, she didn't.

Yawning, you stretch out in bed and suddenly remember that Sukuna was here; you look out to the window and notice it is closed, and there are a few foot towels on the floor to soak up the snow that had melted.

[shorkbrian]

Street Cat hybrid shoto seems to like you so much, even more than he likes his owner Momo

When you come to see momo, he is 24/7 by your side, following you around all day long, touching you and your things, licking your neck just like he always did since he was a lil baby cat *W* and even worst, he still cries when you have tô tô home!

Why aren’t you his owner? It was you who saved him, but you couldn’t have a hybrid at your apartment, so you left him with your best friend.

It was you who made him more human. Without you, shoto would be still living in the street. But how could he feel at home when his home is you?

One day, Momo sends a message asking you to take care of him while she works for a few days in another country. She says he only wants you, and gets pissy and teary when someone else comes

You are happy to help— i mean, things are being so stressful at your new work! It has been a week since you saw Shoto.

It just happen that you carry so many new smells

Shoto doesn’t like that >:(

(This is a prompt/request. Feel free to change things or deny this shit. I just want some beastial sex with yandere shoto who cries while humping your pussy bc he finally feels at peace)

hoooooo my gosh 

(What to expect - NSFW, noncon, scenting, thoughts of watersports)

Hybrid Shouto who’s long and lean, milky skin scarred and marred in places from the various fights he’s had while living on the street.

He’s got enough muscles to crush you when he hugs you, to put significant weight on you when he tries to cuddle up in your lap as you talk to Momo. 

You’re close with Momo, having fun “girls night” when you and Jirou go over and drink wine, do each others nails, and talk about whatever been’s going on that week.

Shouto never interrupts, is always quiet as long as he’s by your side, purring when you scratch behind his ear, stretching out so he’s sprawled across your legs where you’re sitting on the floor.

Jirou and Momo think it’s cute how attached the hybrid is to you, coo at him whenever the hybrid jumps to follow you around Momo’s house, touching everything you touch, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder, hovering one step behind you like a clingy shadow.

It’s hard to say goodbye, especially with Shouto clinging to you, jaw set, unshed tears shining in his eyes as he begs you to stay, just a little longer.

So “girls night” turns into a fun sleepover, no big deal.

It’s adorable when you wake up to find the hybrid curled up at your feet, tail tucked around his body as he snores softly, ears twitching. When you go to make coffee, you bump into Momo, and barely begin telling her about the cute occurrence, before Shouto is padding into the kitchen, frown on his face, immediately jumping towards you.

Crushes you in a hug, pushes you against the counter as he comforts himself by stroking your shoulder, licking at your neck. “Thought you left...” The hybrid whines.

It’s easy to see how much he cares for his savior.

When Momo asks you to watch him, of course you say yes. He’s easy to please, with an even temperament and hardly any bad habits. You’d say his worst habit is his clinginess, how you can’t even go to the bathroom without the hybrid lurking outside of the door, waiting for you to get out so he can be close to you again.

But it seems he’s developed some unsavory traits living on the streets, as he pushes you to the floor as soon as you cross into Momo’s home.

“You smell different.” And it’s not a question. The hybrid’s cold nose is tickling your skin, first at your hands, then your throat, ghosting over your face before he drops down, pushes up your shirt a little so he can nose at your stomach.

“Hey! Shouto wha-”

“You smell awful.” He hisses, tail puffing up, ears flat against his head. 

“I’m-I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize.... I’ll go shower and change right now, okay? I’m sorry Sho’, I forgot you have such a sensitive nose.”

That calms him down a little bit, until you’re locking the bathroom door, Shouto stuck on the outside while you turn on the shower.

“Please let me in, I won’t look, just want to be close to you.” Comes his soft voice, and he sounds so sad, so plaintive, and you find yourself biting your lip.

“No, Shouto, I would like some privacy please while I shower. Afterwards we can cuddle or something, alright?”

There’s silence from the other side of the door, which is a tad worrying, but the quicker you can shower and change, the quicker you can go comfort the sensitive hybrid.

You find him curled up in his bed, buried underneath his blankets, frown on his face. It’s easy to slip in behind the hybrid, snuggling up against his furnace-like body heat.

No words are spoken, but the hybrid turns, buries his face into your neck, huffing and chuffing against your skin while you try not to squirm from the sensation. His little kitten licks tickle, especially when he starts grooming you, rough, textured tongue pulling rhythmically at your skin.

He dips too close to your chest, licking over your collarbone, but it’s innocent, harmless. Cats do this to each other when they feel safe, when they have a bond. You know Shouto is probably just trying to self-soothe after being left home all day. You know he’s a needy hybrid.

Shouto moves to lick at your arms, and that tickles even more, and you can’t stop from squirming and giggling a little when he licks at the crease of your elbow. Next thing you know, he has both of his slender, pale hands wrapped around one of your own hands, stuffing a few of your fingers into his mouth so he can suck on them.

You’re gasping in shock, surprised as you feel his fangs scrape over your flesh, the sensation strange and unexpected. “Shouto-!”

But the hybrid has his eyes closed, nose wiggling a bit as he falls into a rhythm, muscles relaxing as he settles down.

Another self-soothing gesture, you figure.

Today was a long day, and it doesn’t take too long before you get used to the unusual sensation of the hybrid’s tongue working over your fingers; it’s easy to fall asleep.

But when you wake up from your nap? Chaos.

Your shirt was askew, half your chest exposed, nipple pebbling in the cold as a neatly manicured hand rested over the meat of your breast.

The shorts you had slipped into out of the shower were still in place, but you were able to clearly feel the meat of Shouto’s erection as it rubbed against your mound, the hybrid’s hips stuttering forward as he panted above you, resting on an elbow.

He was gasping into your neck, quiet little breaths and held-back moans, trying not to wake you up.

But as soon as you got your bearings, began pushing at the hybrid, not even sure what to feel in this situation; Shouto lifted his head, blinking slowly.

“Want you to smell like me.” Is all the explanation that he offers, completely unmoving even as you get your hands underneath his chest and push.

“No-no, stop it, stop it right now Sho’.” Your voice is filled with panic, scratchy from sleep, weak.

Shouto shakes his head, buries it back into your neck as he starts licking at your skin, trying to comfort you, soothe you, calm you down. “I can’t...” But you knew what he was really saying, what was really running through his mind. I won’t.

The hybrid doesn’t settle until you’re drenched in sweat, wet and sticky from his cum as he’d pulled his cock out of his sleep shorts, came on your stomach, and thighs, and all over your shorts.

It doesn’t matter how much you squirm, how much you tell him that it’s wrong, how obviously unwanting you are of this treatment, Shouto doesn’t care.

Cum gets smeared on your face, into your hair, rubbed messily into your skin as Shouto nuzzles against you, purring as you tire from fighting him, grow limp underneath him, eyes staring blankly ahead as he violates you.

A small part of himself wants to go even further, to spread his seed into your mouth, down your throat, into your stomach. Shoot it deep into your womb, make you sticky and wet on not only the outside, but the inside too. An even worse, disgusting part of himself, a voice that Shouto refuses to listen to, gives him an urge to mark his territory in a primal, animalistic way.

Piss all over you, your belongings, until no one will come near you without smelling him.

Shouto wants you to smell like him, to smell claimed. By the time he’s done with you, it won’t matter how many showers you take - you won’t be able to rid yourself of his scent.

[bastillewolf]

Shinigami Eyes (I)

Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader

Summary: When you’re paired up with Corpse as imposters in a game of Among Us, you seem to somehow apprehend each others strategies even though it’s the first time you’ve ever played together. He appreciates a good impostor.

Notes: I know I still have many fics I need to finish, but I just wanted to throw out a quick Corpse one because sad to say I’ve been simping for him too. By the way, this is my interpretation of him and this is just for fun. Also, I haven’t written for second person in a while, so I’m sorry if this sucks.

TAG LIST CLOSED!

Shinigami Eyes - Oneshot

“Hey, I wanted to invite Corpse,” Sean said right as the Among Us theme started playing on your computer.

“Great vooooice,” Grease called out.

“Oh, I haven’t played with him before,” you said. It was true, but you’d heard of his legendary voice before and your viewers had been asking for him. You’d only allow it because No Simp September was over. Chat was already going mad.

“You’ll love him. Unless he murders you, because he’s a great imposter,” Sean replies. “He’s too good,” Felix adds.

After a moment, you heard the familiar noise of someone joining the Discord. “Hello everyone,” a deep rumble greeted. The group all said their welcomes, while you introduced yourself. “Very nice to meet you, Corpse,” you added. You didn’t want to comment on the obvious. He must hear it all the time. But you couldn’t deny it was like silk to your ears.

“Nice to meet you to. You make great vids.” A blush spread across your cheeks, “You shouldn’t say things like that, chat is already jealous.” He chuckled.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

Great, you’re instantly sweating. Thankfully, though, it seems you were lucky enough to have been teamed up with the king of lying himself. Corpse’s name is as bloodred as yours.

You decide to follow him after Toast and Sean, and think about how it was Sean who ironically invited the person who was going to murder him in just a few moments. All four of you were being decontaminated below lab, when Corpse made stepped a tad closer to him. You almost synchronically chopped their heads off, and you squealed in excitement. 2 down, 4 to go. As long as no one would find their bodies for a while, you still had time.

Next thing, you’re out of the South entrance and you’ve split up. You join Sykkuno in electric and just wait on him to do his task. Felix joins you afterwards in the next room. That’s when Toast’s body, and ultimately Sean’s, is reported.

Corpse had run back and self-reported.

“Corpse and I just ran into decontamination and found Sean and Toast,” Rae announced.

You were still muted. “Oh god, he’s playing a dangerous game.”

Sykkuno decided it would be the perfect time to call you out. “You and Felix only joined me a while later and decided to stay. Kinda sus of you.”

“No, she was with me at the beginning. I watched her do a task in office,” your fellow impostor vouched. They’d been right, he’s a damn good liar. He manages to hide any sliver of emotion in that deep baritone.

“I don’t trust Corpse anymore, he does stuff like this all the time when he’s impostor,” Lily noted.

“Stuff like what?” He huffed in amusement.

The group agreed the accusation made was a bit vague, and it had affectively directed the attention away from you and onto Felix. After another round of some serious investigating and threatening you all decided to skip.

“Corpse makes me feel less nervous about being an impostor,” you tell chat, “He seems so chill about it.” You ran down to Weapons, but decided against killing anyone when you found three people doing tasks there. You shoved yourself into the clump of bodies and waited until everyone had finished. Running back up to centre with both Lily and Rae, you felt restless that you would eventually have to kill one of them. You just hoped they wouldn’t take it personally.

Corpse ran past, alone. Your characters didn’t have eyes, but somehow they showed a mutual understanding. He killed Lily, you killed Rae. You sputtered and chortled and followed right on after him down into the venthole. He met you in the bathroom stall. “Cosy,” you joked. Until Grease walked in. “Oh, that’s awkward.” You realized you were still standing suspiciously over the venthole. “Shit.”

You didn’t know where Grease had gone, but your first instinct was to hit the red emergency meeting button in the Office. “Grease was in the bathroom stall hovering over a vent.” You may not have your fellow impostors emotionless tone, but you knew laughing through your accusation usually worked.

“Are you kidding me?! I just saw you and Corpse standing in there doing I don’t know what!” Grease yelled.

“That’s a bold statement. You know I’d never cheat on Sykkuno,” Corpse said. “Wait, what?” the man in question replied. Corpse ignored him.

“Corpse was with me when I found you there. On another note I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people vent at the same time before.” Two truths, technically.

“Alright, I’m voting Grease,” Felix said, “I’m sensing liar voice.”

Sykkuno suspected Grease and you, but promised he’d vote you out after if he was wrong. “We have to vote now,” you reminded them.

Grease was ejected.

You met Corpse again in laboratory, where only Felix was doing a task. No one moved. “Oh no, you may have the honours,” you gracefully called out to an unsuspecting impostor. He seemed to get the message through however, and swiftly killed Felix when the Kill button was set to press again.

Defeat.

 “Oh my god, that was so stressful,” you cried out. Corpse chuckled, “Don’t worry, you did great.”

“Hey, don’t you dare steal him,” Sean threatened, “He’s my impostor mate!” You laughed.

“You murdered me and Lily almost synchronically,” Rae sputtered, to which Sean added, “Oh my god, same here. It was some nasty psychic shit.” “Corpse and I just have the Shinigami eyes,” you explained. You saw Corpse’s name flash in the top left corner, but only heard him exhale in amusement. It was cute.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

“Oh… my… god.” Has this ever happened before in this game? Either way, no one will suspect both of you to be it again. You imagine he was feeling similarly, as he hadn’t moved from the spawn point yet. “How in the fuck…?” Chat was confused, but seemed to enjoy the spectacle.

You and corpse split up this time. Don’t use the same tactics twice.

You followed Felix and Sykkuno into Office and faked a task. They decided to wait for you, and you kept your eyes on the green bar until it moved. You travelled trough Admin and Decontamination until you met up with Lily in Labs. “Shit,” you murmured, “There’s too many people. I’m gonna look suspicious.”

Corpse showed up. Lily and Sykkuno left. You killed Felix. Toast walked in, and unfortunately at the hands of your teammate, he did become toast.

You ran in a circle around him and hoped it was enough of a hint for him to follow you. He picked up on it and followed you into the bathroom stall. But neither of you vented. You let a smile slip, almost forgetting you had a face cam. Awkwardly clearing your throat, you explained to your viewers in a very non-convincing way this was just a good impostor strategy. They’d do well to learn from it.

The bodies were reported instantly, and you cursed under your breath. Lily was the one who reported it. “So, I found Felix in Labs and there were only two other people in there before me and Sykkuno left.”

“I went down through Decontamination,” you explained, “I lost Corpse back at Labs.”

“I went back North, I passed you on the way there, Lily.”

Lily was sus of you. “What? Why?!” You asked. “Because I didn’t see anyone in Decontamination and there’s no way you could’ve gone through there that quickly. I wasn’t gone that long,” she said.

Well, shit. “Weren’t the lights off? You couldn’t possibly see me in Decontamination. I’m wondering why you walked back into Labs anyway, Lily.”

A series of ‘ooh’s were heard through the Discord call.

“But I was running up that hallway, I didn’t see you come out,” Grease suddenly spoke up.

“Why were you in there, Grease?” Corpse asked, but you knew it was already too late.

“I was running up to do my task in Labs. I didn’t see her come through the doors before the body was reported.”

“I wasn’t out of Decontamination yet,” you ground out. It was of no use, however. More than half of the people left voted you out, including Lily, Grease, Sean and Corpse, since he had an image to maintain as fake crewmember.

HeartEyes was ejected.

You decided, both out of your own interest and for content’s sake, to follow Corpse as a ghost. He seemed to be having the same trouble as you, suddenly being surrounded by a group of people. “That’s rough. He’s gonna have to kill five more people.”

That was when he bravely decided to take action. Sabotage the reactor, follow everyone there, jump into the lump of people trying to fix the problem and kill so no one would know who did it. He self-reported it in the blink of an eye.

The group was indeed confused, to say the least. Grease had died. “Wait, who was the last to come in?” Sean asked. “It was me,” Corpse admitted, “But I did the handprint scan because no one else was doing it. Weren’t you standing there doing that with Lily?” “Yeah, I had to wait because it wasn’t working.”

“What?!” Lily exclaimed, in only a way she could, “I was doing the scan! It was Sean, then!” The two suspects were starting a heavy discussion, whilst your eyes were trained on the red of Corpse’s name.

The group decided to vote out Lily, as she was the one to report the last murder.

“Is he just… Killing the people who voted for me?” you muttered. Shaking your head, you continued, “Nah, it has to be coincidence.”

But then a body was found, and Corpse said he suspected Sean again. Was he actually working down the list? “Is he avenging me? That’s so sweet, no one has ever done that for me before…” Just a video game, you had to remind yourself. It was just a video game you were playing with friends. And a man with a very nice voice who’d just murdered everyone who did you wrong. Just a game, yes.

Turns out, Corpse really knew how to put his voice to use, as Sean was ejected. He managed to kill Sykkuno and Dave after that, and the game was won by the imposters.

“AGAIN?!” Felix yelled, “How did you two get teamed up again?!” “That’s bullshit,” Sean laughed.

You smiled, as Corpse said, “Us Shinigami’s have to stick together.” It made you blush. “Thanks for avenging me, Corpse. That was very sweet of you.” He chuckled, “Any time. I don’t mind killing people when I have a good teammate.”

“Hey! I’m still here too, you know!” Sean yelled upset.

“It was really fun playing with you guys,” you said, stretching your arms. You’d already been streaming for three hours, it was time to go. Everyone said goodbye, but you didn’t hear Corpse. And you wished it hadn’t twisted your stomach in the way it did.

You wished your viewers a nice day, and promised to update them on Twitter when you’d be streaming next. You were done for the day.

Yet, as you’d closed all tabs and were about to close Discord, you got a call. It was private, and it was from Corpse.

“Hey, miss me already?” you jokingly said.

He chuckled quietly. He suddenly seemed a lot shyer now, being extracted from the group. “Nice game.”

“Yeah, you really know how to keep your emotions hidden. I was impressed, to say the least.”

“You were really good, too. I can appreciate a good imposter.”

You bit your lip. “Hm, I hope to see some more of that appreciation in the future. It was rather nice having someone avenge me.”

“I’d do it again any time. Hiding in the toilet was a good strategy, by the way.”

You snorted at that, “Not good enough, it seems. They voted me out.”

“Big mistake. Nobody kills my teammate.”

“Aww, did the Shinigami catch feelings for the human?”

He rumbled, “I thought you weren’t human?”

You didn’t comment on the fact that he’d failed to answer the original suggestion you’d made. “Touché.”

It was quiet for a moment, and you wondered if you’d crossed a line there and made the wrong assumptions about where the conversation was going. You quickly added, “Are you playing again this week?”

“Yeah, Sean said they’d stream again this Thursday.”

“I suppose I’ll see you there, then.”

He hummed. You sensed there was more to it, though. He hadn’t made any indication he wanted to end the call yet. But then he finally said, “I hope we get teamed up again. So you can get your own revenge.”

“I hope so too.”

***

Might do a follow up to this oneshot, if anyone asks for it. Will definitely create more for Corpse, he’s a lot of fun to write.

[doubleleoenergy]

Cool for the Summer

Even if they judge, fuck it, I'll do the time. I just wanna have some fun with you.

Pairing: parentsbestfriend!Steve Rogers x fem!reader x parentsbestfriend!Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, vaginal sex, use of pet names (princess), mommy kink, daddy kink, mentions of alcohol, y/n is 18, slight size kink, threesome.

Words: 2700 (I’m so sorry, I got carried away)

Summary: One pair of drunken kisses turned to much more. Now at the biggest pool party, y/n is ready for a hot girl summer.

Notes: This is my submission for @agentofbarnes​‘s The Agency’s Writing Challenge. I chose to write for dadsbestfriends/momsbestfriend au, secret relationship, and Steve Rogers + Natasha Romanoff. This is the type of sandwich I’d love to be between. I apologize for being such a whore with this.

“Y/N, can you please grab the two bags of ice from the ice chest in the garage? We need to fill up the other coolers before we add the drinks.”

“Yes mom!” Y/N cried out to her mother, tossing a large flamingo floatie into their pool before heading towards the garage. It was their annual Summer pool party, the biggest party of the season for y/n’s parents. Her parents invited all their friends and family, including everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D.

Y/N’s mother and father were both agents with S.H.I.E.L.D. and had been working with the Avengers team closely for years. She remembered visiting the tower when she was nine, a picture of her visit still hanging proudly in her bedroom. It had been years since she personally went to visit, but many of the team members visited her parents often. 

That included her super-secret lovers Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. 

It happened by complete chance last July. Her parents were on a mission for three weeks, leaving y/n alone to take care of their two dogs and to watch over the house. Of course, her parents were nervous to leave their eighteen-year-old daughter home alone for that long, asking many of their colleagues to stop in occasionally to check in on her. The Friday of their second week gone, y/n had gotten wine drunk, having snuck a bottle of her parents' expensive chardonnay from their wine cellar.

She was halfway through the bottle when they came, Steve and Natasha. They found her dancing to some pop song in the living room, her right hand holding up the bottle of wine to her lips. Steve and Natasha had grabbed the bottle from her hand, but not before she kissed them both; Steve first for a rough kiss and Nat last for a soft one.

Y/N didn’t remember anything the next day, but Steve and Nat showed up again to remind her. About 30 minutes after they had explained what happened the night before Y/N ended up with Nat’s head between her thighs and Steve’s cock in her mouth.

They had spent the next week before her parents came home together. Then afterwards, Steve and Nat told y/n that they had to keep what they had a secret, that no one would understand. They had all hung out a few times before y/n went off to college and then a few times during her college years when she was home on break.

The last time y/n saw Nat and Steve was during her Spring Break, two months ago, and she couldn’t wait to see them at the party. She had worn her skimpiest pink striped bikini for the occasion, ready to show off her hot-girl-summer body.

Y/N lifted one bag of ice on each shoulder, carrying it into the backyard and starting to fill the coolers while her father packed them with an assortment of beer, seltzers, soda, and water. “Honey, are you excited to see everyone now that you’re back from summer break?” Her father asked, wiping a few beads of sweat off his brow.

“Yeah, some more than others.” She muttered, shrugging her shoulders. After fixing up the coolers with her father, y/n helped her parents set out the snacks, decorate the backyard, and bring out the large speakers to play music.

It was already one o’clock when guests started to arrive, parking along their circle drive as well as up and down their street. Y/N was instructed by her father to wait by the back gate and greet the guests as they came in, giving each guest a cheap lei that her mom had ordered from Party City. 

Guest after guest, dozens of lei’s later, she spotted them. Nat and Steve drove together, of course, and they looked as striking as always. Nat was dressed in a blood red string bikini top, her cutoff shorts hanging off her hips as she walked. Steve looked incredibly toned in a white t-shirt that clung to his muscles, a pair of red board shorts hugging his thighs to match Nat’s bikini top.

Y/N’s eyes met both their gazes, her figure standing up straighter to accentuate her breasts. Nat and Steve’s eyes trailed up and down her body, Steve’s cock stirring in his shorts.

“Aloha Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff.” She purred; her voice sickly sweet like candy.

“It’s nice to see you again, y/n.” Steve mentioned casually, a large grin spreading across his features. The pair bent forward to receive their lei’s, y/n’s fingers trailing a little longer on each of their neck’s, her nails sending shivers down their spines.

“There’s plenty of drinks and food, and the pool is perfectly chilled. I might take a dip myself.” Y/N gave them a seductive wink before gesturing them in the gate so that she could continue to greet the guests.

Two hours in and the pool party was raging. Y/N’s parents mingled about with the guests, hopping from group to group. As the party continued, Steve and Nat’s eyes followed y/n as she spoke with guests, handed out drinks, and refilled the snacks on the picnic table. They watched the way her ass bounced in her bikini bottoms, how her hips swayed to the music as she danced with a group of friends, and the way her body looked soaking wet as she stepped out of the pool.

She knew what she was doing, trying to rile them up so they’d crack during the party. There were so many guests, what were the chances of anyone even noticing them if they went missing for a while? Y/N needed Steve and Natasha, bad, and she was willing to do whatever it took to get them.

Her body was still dripping wet from the pool, her hair caressing her face. She sauntered across the backyard to one of the coolers, digging her nimble fingers under the ice until she found what she was looking for. Pulling off the wrapper she revealed a red, white, and blue bomb pop, how fitting. Y/N met Steve’s gaze, sashaying her hips back and forth as she stalked towards them.

“Hi Captain, enjoying the view?” She questioned, tilting her head to look up at him. He had about a foot or more on her, making her crane her neck to meet his ocean blue eyes.

“I know I have. What about you, Nat?” He tilted his head to the left, eyes landing on Natasha.

“Definitely. What’cha got there, pretty girl?”

“Just a bomb pop. It’s so hot out, I needed to cool off.” Her lips finally meet the popsicle, engulfing the tip and swirling her tongue around it, a devilish look flashing in her eyes. Natasha clenches her thighs together, thinking of how good it would feel to have the woman’s lips between them.

Y/N teases the popsicle against her lips, pushing it deeper until she gags lightly, her gaze locked with Steve’s own as she does. The same noise she usually made around his cock, he almost pushed her to her knees right then and there. She pulled the popsicle out of her mouth, a string of saliva connecting her lips to the tip.

“You sure you don’t want some?” That was the last straw for Natasha, pulling the stick out of y/n’s hands before tossing the popsicle into the grass beside them. Natasha leans in close, her breath tickling y/n’s ear.

“Go to your room and wait on the bed. Now.” She commanded, pulling away from y/n and changing her expression as to not draw any attention to the throuple. Y/N nodded her head, her own expression flashing with excitement as she moved across the lawn and headed inside her home.

Her bedroom was up on the second floor, away from all the chaos downstairs. Only a few of the guests lingered inside, walking in and out of the first-floor bathroom, some leaning against the kitchen counter in conversation.

Y/N slipped silently up the steps, tiptoeing to her bedroom and shutting the door behind her. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest, stealing a quick glance at herself in the mirror. Her hair was slightly wild from her dip in the pool, her body glistening with a mix of sweat and pool water. Y/N walked over to the bed, her head resting against a pillow, her legs bent and open, waiting for her lovers to arrive.

Steve and Natasha made their way into the house ten minutes later, conversing politely with the few guests who still lingered inside, waiting until they walked out towards the rest of the attendees before making their way up the wooden staircase. Steve is the first to make it to the door, opening it and smiling at the sight of y/n splayed out before them.

“My my, princess. You sure know how to rile us both up. Couldn’t even behave until the end of the party you’re that desperate?” Steve tosses his shirt to the floor after Nat shuts and locks the door behind them, the redhead following suit as she started to undress as well.

“She just loves to tease, but she’ll pay for it now.” Nat stalked over to the bed, getting on her knees beside the edge and gesturing y/n with her fingers to join her. Steve stepped out of his board shorts last, his thick cock bouncing against his chest as he moved over to where Natasha was kneeling beside the bed, y/n getting on her knees beside her, still dressed in her bikini.

“Nat, baby, how about you help our princess undress while she keeps her mouth busy on my cock.” He commanded, stroking his length in his right hand. Natasha nodded her head, moving behind y/n and pulling at the string of her bikini top, letting it unravel and slide forward off her chest. 

Steve stepped forward, his cock slapping gently against y/n’s cheek. “Go on princess.” Y/N swallows thickly, the size of his cock always surprising her, no matter how many times she saw it. Her hand reached up to stroke his length, her tongue swirling around the tip, eliciting a groan from Steve’s lips.

Natasha busied herself by reaching over y/n’s back to knead and pinch at her perky breasts, y/n’s eyes fluttering shut as she took Steve’s cock into her mouth, her hand moving down to fondle with his balls. She bobbed her head back and forth, grinding her still clothed core against her carpet.

“Aw Steve look, our princess is getting needy.” Nat took a fistful of y/n’s hair into her hand, ripping her off Steve’s cock and tilting her back to make eye contact with her. “You know what to do, a pretty princess like you has to ask for what she wants.”

Y/N whined, bucking her hips up to draw attention to her bikini bottoms. “Please mommy, please touch my pussy.”

Nat hummed in response, releasing her hand from y/n’s hair, pushing her in the direction towards Steve’s cock once again. Y/N wastes no time, opening her mouth and looking up at Steve, her long eyelashes batting coyly. “Daddy, will you fuck my mouth while mommy plays with my pussy?” She asked sweetly.

Steve almost came immediately from her statement, his thumb sweeping lovingly across her lips before his hand moved to grip at her hair, looping it around his hand to lock her in place before sliding her mouth forward and back onto his cock.

Steve started to fuck her face slowly while Natasha moved her hand down to undo the strings of y/n’s bottoms, pulling them out from underneath her before she tossed them across the room. Her hands caress y/n’s hips as Steve moves in and out of her mouth, faster this time. Y/N’s saliva dripped from her mouth and onto the carpet as Natasha snaked her hand down to y/n’s folds, her fingers immediately covered in her slick.

Nat dipped one of her perfectly manicured fingers into her heat, y/n humming around Steve’s cock in response. She continued to work her finger in and out before adding another finger, Natasha’s lips trailing wet kisses down her neck.

“So wet, princess. You want your daddy to fuck your tight cunt?” Nat purred, adding a third finger into her soaking hole. Y/N couldn’t answer, her mouth stuffed full of Steve’s cock, her nose touching his pelvic bone. He held her down, y/n sputtering as tears welled in her eyes, watching her face turn red before he pulled her off abruptly, her body collapsing back against Natasha’s.

Y/N gasped for air, her saliva dripping from her mouth down her chin and bare breasts. Natasha’s fingers sped up inside y/n, her orgasm building fast. “Mommy, may I cum please?” She mewled, looking up at her with pleading eyes.

“Yes princess, cum now. Daddy’s waiting to fuck you.” Her orgasm ripped through her, her walls tightening around Natasha’s fingers as she fucked her through the pleasure. Slowly, her breathing slowed down again, and Natasha removed her fingers from her core. Nat opened her pouty lips, licking y/n’s slick off her fingers happily. “You taste so good, our pretty girl. Now I want you to get on the bed on all fours for daddy.”

Y/N followed the instructions, crawling up onto the bed and getting on her hands and knees, arching her back and sticking up her plump ass. Steve’s hand was soft against her ass cheek, fondling it in his hand as he rubbed his cock against her folds with his other hand. He braced one hand against her back, sliding his cock in slowly, savoring the feeling of her tight cunt swallowing him.

“Always so tight, princess. The prettiest cunt I’ve ever seen. Isn’t that right, mommy?” Steve moved his cock slowly back out of her pussy before slamming in fast, causing y/n to fall forward as she cried out in pleasure.

“It is the prettiest.” Nat agreed, moving onto the bed until her thighs opened, her pussy on full display. She scooted her body until her thighs were on either side of y/n’s head, gripping her chin and pulling her head up to look at her. “Put that pretty mouth to use and make mommy cum.” She instructed, y/n’s tongue sticking out to lick a strip up to Natasha’s clit.

Natasha rested her weight on her elbows, watching y/n swirl her tongue around her clit, moaning at the sight. Steve continued to fuck into y/n, pushing her face deeper into Natasha’s pussy. His cock rocked fast into her, y/n humming with her face against Nat’s cunt.

“That’s it, princess. Let daddy fuck you into mommy’s pussy. You keep that up and you’re going to make me cum on your pretty tongue.” Natasha’s eyes met Steve. “You look so good daddy, so hot when you’re fucking our princess.”

Steve’s breathing was ragged, his hips slapping rapidly against y/n. “Cum on her tongue, mommy. Give our princess your sweet nectar.” Natasha bucked her pussy against her face, hitting her orgasm as y/n licked up all of Nat’s juices that flowed from her. Y/N continued to lap at Natasha, working her through her orgasm as she came on Steve’s cock, her walls clenching around him.

“Fuck, that’s it princess, make a mess on daddy’s cock. Gonna fill this pussy up princess, you deserve it for how happy you made mommy.” Steve thrust twice more before his hips stilled against her ass, groaning as he coated her walls with his cum. He stayed glued to her, pressing soft kisses to her spine as he relaxed his body, finally pulling out of her. His cock was wet with y/n’s cum, her pussy dripping their mixed cum onto the sheets.

“Did so good princess, let’s let mommy clean this up.” On cue, Natasha moved to take Steve’s place behind her, licking at her cunt to indulge in their mixed juices. Y/N’s body relaxed into the bed, letting Natasha clean her up.

Eventually, Natasha finished licking, pulling off to collapse next to y/n, her body spent as well from their escapades. Steve moved beside y/n, laying his head back against the pillow. 

“My beautiful girls, I love you both so much. Best pool party I’ve ever attended.”

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐒𝐞𝐱/𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 (𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝)

Warnings: NSFW content. Read at your own discretion.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Hongjoong was already frustrated. He was on a deadline to finish up a song and he was nowhere near even getting halfway. Eden had just recently scolded him and he felt extremely agitated and irritated at this point.

"Hey Joong? I brought you lunch so-"

"Just leave it on the table, I'll eat it later." He cut you off rather sharply, barely even sparing you a glance.

"I was actually thinking we could eat together." You were off put by his short temper.

"I don't have time Y/N." He huffed out, a hand running through his hair.

You were pissed at this point and were not about to take his crap anymore.

"Exactly! You don't have time for me anymore! I get your job demands a lot of your time, but to not even take a break and enjoy just 10 minutes without....these." You gestured to all the mess scattered around his desk.

Hurt about being reminded about his neglect of you yet angry at being scolded once more, Hongjoong slammed his hands on the table, swiftly pushing off the chair before going over to where you were standing and stared you down.

"All right. Fine. 10 minutes you say? I can work with that."

Without a warning, he pushed you onto the couch, making a quick work of your pants and stripping them off you. You let out a sharp cry when he began devouring your pussy, animalistic growls spilling out his lips as he slurped you up as if he'd been starved. When you tried pulling away, he landed a harsh slap on your clit, making your hips jolt up and a shriek come out.

"Shut up and take what I give you you needy desperate whore. You wanted 10 minutes? Let's see how many times I can make you cum in that time."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Hearing the front door slam, Seonghwa brace himself for yet another one of your moods after a long day at work. Wanting to help your day be less stressful, he had prepared you some of your favorites food.

"Y/N." He called out to you in a sing song tone.

Stomping over, you just looked at him with an eyebrow raised, total resting bitch face plastered on.

"I made your favorite." He happily told you, but you still didn't seem to bat an eyelash at him, you simply turned around and began walking out.

"Wait Y/N come on. Here at least try some. It'll help you with your stress-"

"Can't you take a damn hint Seonghwa?! I don't fucking want it!"

When he tried to approach you with a spoonful of food, you actually snapped and slapped it out of his hand, making it stain his perfectly polished floor. Seonghwa looked at it then looked back at you.

"You know Y/N I think I put up with your bratty attitude and bitchy behavior for too long."

You gasped sharply when he suddenly turned you around and slammed you up against the table, grabbing your arms so he could hold them behind your back.

"Maybe I've been a little too nice to you....making you baths, preparing you food, all in hopes of helping you release stress....but its clear a little bitch like you doesn't need that."

You squirmed under his grasp, trying to get free but with no use as his grip was tight on you. The sound of him unbuckling his belt made you stop moving entirely, and you shivered when pulled your skirt up before ripping your tights and pushing your underwear to the side.

"Clearly a bitch like you needs a good pounding, fuck that attitude right out of you."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

You knew you were screwed the instant Yunho roughly pulled you off Mingi's lap and took you into his room, shutting the door right behind him before staring at you with fire burning through his eyes. You had never seen him so mad before.

No soon afterwards, you were currently on top of him, his hips bucking up at you at a relentless pace that had you screaming his name over and over again. His hands were practically digging into your skin, holding tightly onto you with such ferocity.

"Look at you, being so desperate for a good fuck that you'd actually try and whore yourself out to my best friend like a cheap bitch."

When one of his hands came up to grasp at your throat, you were shivering on top of him.

"Weren't you?! What! Is my cock not enough for you? My cock and these hands you love so much not satisfying you anymore? Hmm? Is that why you were all cuddled up to Mingi? Hoped he'd actually take pity and fuck you?"

You knew it wasn't your intention to make him jealous, but god if this is what jealousy did to him, you would totally do it again.

"Stupid slut. Mingi's not going to fuck you. You're just a dirty, filthy hole, he doesn't want you...."

Even after you came, you were still a crying mess as Yunho kept fucking up into you, not caring that you were beyond your limit, your inner thighs getting sore.

"But you're my little hole for me to fuck. Got it? And if I need to fuck you dumb to get it through that stupid useless brain of yours to understand that only I can make you feel this good, then so be it. I'll fuck you til you break, my little sex toy."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang was not very pleased by your behavior lately. You had been giving him the silent treatment and avoiding him for no good reason. Trying to coax what was wrong out of you, he came up behind you as you were washing dishes.

"How's my little princess? Did you have a good day?"

He was only met with you elbowing him in the rib and shoved him off you.

"Ok seriously Y/N? What did I even do? Stop being so childish and talk to me like a mature adult."

Hearing you scoff and seeing you roll your eyes at him made him furious and irritated with you. As you tried to walk past him, he grabbed your elbow and picked you up, setting you down on the kitchen counter as his eyes burned a hole through you.

"If you're going to keep acting like a brat, maybe I should just treat you like one then."

You don't know if you truly regret breaking Yeosang's patience. On the one hand, you were definitely not going to be walking straight for a week. On the other, you utterly enjoyed having your face pressed against the pillow, ass up as Yeosang was shoving his dick in and out of you, red handprints scattered across your butt cheeks and hands tied behind your back with one of his ties. Everytime you tried to hide your face in the pillow to muffle your screams, he'd yank your hair up.

"I said I wasn't having you ignore me anymore princess. Now come on, scream my name. I want this entire floor to hear your pathetic whimpers."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San looked at you with an unamused gaze.

"Repeat what you just said.....I dare you to."

He was pissed off, it was more than clear. But maybe that's what you wanted, wanted him to be as pissed as you were, even just a bit of what you were feeling. It's not that you meant to take out your jealousy on him, but seeing his co-host be extremely clingy towards him backstage and he never did anything about it made your blood boil.

"I said you're nothing more than a fucking horn dog. Probably let that skank suck your dick." You exclaimed in disgust.

The sudden slam of his hand against the wall behind you both scared and thrilled you. Looking at you with a hungry smirk, he opened the door behind you, trapping you inside a closet. In minutes, he was pressing you against the wall, his frantic grunts mixing with your whimpered cries. San would occasionally let out a sadistic laugh at how wrecked you look.

"You're right baby, I am indeed a horn dog. Absolutely love getting my dick wet and fuck a pussy all the time."

Hand reaching between your legs, he began to harshly pinch and rub at your clit, his other hand that was holding onto your hip keeping you from collapsing on the floor as your orgasm took over you.

"But get this straight: I only fuck this pussy right here. Ok? I fucking claimed this a long ass time ago and I'll fuck it whenever I want to."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Ending the call with your friend, you were coming out of the bedroom when you were suddenly shoved back inside by none other than your usually caring and sweet boyfriend, who looked angry as he closed the door behind him.

"Mingi? What-"

You couldn't finish your sentence as his large hands cupped your cheeks, his long body pushing you back until you landed on the bed. He was kissing you harshly, nothing like the usual tender and loving kisses he'd be known to give you. His hands clutched at your covered breasts, groping at them before he unexpectedly tore your shirt in the middle.

"Mingi! What has gotten into you?!" You exclaimed in shock at his sudden change in behavior.

"I heard you talking to your friend. Saying shit like I'm too soft and vanilla for you."

You moaned out when he began to suck along your neck, his hands cupping your bra and pulling it down enough to have your breasts spill out.

"Oh princess if only you knew I've just been holding back all this time."

With a taunting chuckle, he pulled of you. Undoing his zipper, he began to strip out of his jeans and briefs, letting his long cock spring free, precum leaking at the tip.

"I didn't want to be selfish and break you like I wanted too....... but if that's what you want well then, I'd be happy to oblige my little princess."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

Neither of you knew how it started nor exactly how it escalated. One minute Wooyoung was being the annoying shit he was, with you playfully shoving him away and calling him names, and then the next you were both pushing each other rather abruptly. When you called him a particularly degrading insult, he retaliated likewise and now it seemed like a screaming match between you two.

"You know what? This is fucking stupid!" You hollered and turned away, making a bee line towards your room.

"I'm not done yet!" Wooyoung trailed after you.

"Well I am! Now excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower and hopefully cool off this rage." You stated firmly before slamming the bathroom door right in his face.

The refreshing water seemed to calm you down a little, so you just stood there under the shower head, just letting your body soak in the cold. You were so unaware of your surroundings that you failed to notice Wooyoung had entered the bathroom and didn't realize it until you felt his arms turn you around to face him. No explanation, he just began kissing you, his tongue taking control over your mouth while one hand hiked one of your legs over his waist.

"Still think I'm an annoying bastard?" He grunted fiercely as he thrusted up into you, not giving you time to react as he began pounding into you.

"Yes you are!" You hissed at him, hands swooping his wet hair and tugging at it rather hardly.

He just looked at you with a shit eating grin.

"Yet you still let me fuck you. "

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

You were frustrated and stressed out, so was Jongho. Even as you two did your own little things inside the apartment, even the smallest things either of you did made the other let out an annoyed huff. It all culminated when Jongho accidentally spilled his cup of juice on the floor, that little action had you both looking at each other with near contempt.

"I feel like punching something." Jongho confessed.

"Me too." You admitted.

"Wanna punch me?" He offered.

Smirking at him, you thought about something better.

"No.... I think I'd rather fuck you."

So now here you were, underneath your inhumanely strong boyfriend, his cock balls deep inside you, your legs thrown over his shoulders while his hands were already leaving bruises around your inner thighs from how hard he was squeezing at them. You two had already cum several times but you still kept going, pushing past your sensitivity as you both still had a lot of rage and energy to release.

In a particularly sharp angle of his hips, you were quivering under Jongho, for the first time you were actually squirting under him.

"Oh fuck!" Seeing you break down and make a mess all over him and yourself had him cumming soon after, his body collapsing on top of yours.

Both of you were beyond exhausted after all that. Your bodies were so sticky with sweat and your breathing had not yet returned to normal. Looking over at you, Jongho smiled sincerely for the first time in days.

"So.... now that we got that out of the way.... can we cuddle?"

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.