#he should be a father (says nothing about finding another woman) and his baby deserves safety

[atelierlili]

I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peeta’s feelings for her. It’s a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when he’s crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.

But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.

It’s one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.

(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesn’t refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. I’ve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but she’s not. She’s parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because she’ll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)

But Gale’s phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because she’s subconsciously aware of Gale’s efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.

With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) It’s all framed with calculated survival in mind. But it’s also not something she had planned in the future at any point.

But Peeta’s children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if it’s not with her.)

This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peeta’s baby as her own. And I don’t think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, it’s just you’d be more protective of your own child compared to someone else’s. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person who’s equipped to look after a kid. She doesn’t express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthrone’s safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesn’t think of Gale’s child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.

[smooth-perceval]

“My love, my life.”

You stupid boy

Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader

PART FIVE

Max Corner

Summary: [Max and reader crossed the line in their 3 year friendship, resulting in 2 positive pregnancy test. And 1 baby on the way.]

Max and reader get an early scan to find out the gender… and at a private gender reveal, someone accidentally reveals all to the world.

Warnings: swearing, soft max, Google translate, NO PROOF READ!!

Key: Y/N (Your name) Y/L/N (Your last name)

Word count: 2,356

A/N: We are finally back with maxieee 🫶🏼 I did rush- because I got so many ideas I’m sorry :(

“Dad-” picking my dress up I chased after him back up the steps towards the house, Max trailing right behind.

“Will you slow down-” watching each step I take, glancing up every so often.

“Your mother is not going to believe this!” Pointing his finger in the air… more like a wag really. Shaking his head he then reached the top of the garden, mum and Lando sitting on the garden furniture engrossed in conversation.

“But dad-” Max hand was pressed against my back- giving me the little support I need, our pace slowing down as we got closer to mum.

“Darling! You are not going to believe this.” By the random outburst, mum was quick to scan over us all making sure we was all okay.

“Dad-”

“No, your mother deserves to know!”

“Know what?” Confused she looked between us both.

“Who the father is!”

“Oh-”

“It’s Max!” Cutting her off, he turned his face glaring at Max.

“I know…” waving a hand in front of her she smiled over at Max.

“No no… not I know! This is the sleezeball I swore if I found I’d strangle him!” Turning his full attention now to Max.

“You won’t do nothing.” Stepping more infront of Max, I crossed my arms over my chest.

“He abandoned you Y/N!”

“We’re working on that.” Looking down at the floor, I shuffled a little under his gaze.

“Please dad… just be glad we know who it is right?”

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have ran away like I did-” stepping aside, Max moved closer to my dad.

“I was silly, and scared- and had a lot of things to be dealing with family wise…”

The silence was deafening… I was waiting for a punch up honestly- more my dad lunging on Max… I mean I didn’t have a great word to say about him when he left and my dad got the earful of it all.

“I’m really am sorry…”

“You should accept- Max doesn’t ever say sorry.” Looking over I shushed Lando shaking my head.

A loud sigh left my dad as he stepped back, if looks could kill. Well Max would be a goner.

“I do not forgive you for what you put my daughter through these past few months.”

Point a finger at Max, who was quickly nodding his head. “I haven’t forgiven myself yet-” he was agreeing with him, I finally was able to relax, moving over and sitting down next to Lando.

“But Y/N seems too.” Side eyeing me he then quickly looked back at Max.

“So I will tolerate you for the sake of my grand-baby.” Stomping off indoors he then turned back around on the patio.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be like this Max. Not to my little girl.” And then he hid away indoors… the silence growing sickly.

“Yay! The parents know.”

We all snapped our heads to Lando with a scowl, “Shut up” me and Max spoke in unison shaking our heads at him.

—

Before we had knew it- time flew by. I was officially 18 weeks pregnant, and Max was finally on summer break.

During that time- we had told drivers around the paddock- and made them swear to secrecy. Also- Max and Kelly had called it quits, behind closed doors she was absolutely furious I was having his baby… and I couldn’t blame her any woman would be.

Apart from them main events, nothing major happened- max was winning his races, helping look for good apartments in England. Overall he was fantastic… too fantastic that I’m on edge waiting for the moment he ups and leaves again… I shouldn’t think so low of him but can you blame me.

Dads grudge didn’t last long, he even took it upon himself to congratulate Max after every race win. Which was another worry off my shoulders.

“Y/N- come on, everyone is waiting on you.” Turning away from my mirror, I looked over at Max.

“I don’t look silly?” Eyes scanning over me, maybe lingering a little too long- he quickly cleared his throat.

“Not at all… you look amazing actually.” Nodding his head, his cheeks flushed a little red.

“Well you do scrub up well-” smiling I then moved past him tapping his arm.

Making my way out into the garden, a loud cheers erupted. A mixture of “there she is-” “Let’s get started!” “Where’s max”

“I’m here- I’m here.” Max hand found the bottom of my back as he followed behind.

And as always one by one people gave us both hugs and gifts. A few drivers were here, Lando obviously, Daniel, Charles, Carlos, Checo - yeah I was kinda surprised too, Nyck. It was full-

“Look how big you got!” Gesturing to my growing belly, my brows furrowed.

“I didn’t mean-” with wide eyes he waved infront of his mouth. “Charles I’m kidding-” smiling, laughing a little, I looked down at my belly.

“Bigger by the day- soon I’ll be waddling like a penguin.” Laughing also, Charles looked over at Max who was in the corner speaking with his mum.

“How’s Max been with it all?” Looking over at Max also, I hummed.

“It’s been an experience so far that’s for sure.” Smiling again, nudging Charles shoulder.

“Wouldn’t be Max if it wasn’t somewhat eventful, right?” Agreeing with me, he smiled again.

“What we talking about?” Carlos slid in joining our conversation. He was wearing a pink badge, pink wrist band, pink sash- pink everywhere.

“Oh hi Barbie.” Widening my eyes, I stepped back getting a full glance at him.

“Mate, you think it’s going to be a boy?” Charles laughed a little, also looking him up and down.

“No… a girl-” pointing at the pink badge, with furrowed brows.

“His pulling your leg Carlos.” Rolling my eyes playfully, which only caused Carlos to tut.

“Where did you find all that anyways?”

“On the table over there-”

Charles looked around before patting Carlos back “thanks mate-” , before running after the table of accessories. Shaking my head at him, I looked back at Carlos.

“So your thinking girl huh-” nodding my head a little, taking a sip of my drink.

“I knew it as soon as use told us, I just had to look at you and knew it was a girl.” Nodding his head sure of himself.

“What are you thinking?” Humming I looked back down at my belly, “is it bad I have no idea…”

“Of course not! Makes it more fun right?”smiling Carlos touched my arm in a comforting manner leaving me alone, sighing I looked around before making my way to Max.

“Hi girls!” Smiling wide, I was brought into a tight hug from Sophie- followed by Victoria.

“Hey you, how’s the baby been?” Smiling wide, Sophie reached her hand out touching the baby bump.

“Nothing new… still morning sickness- the doctor gave me some anti-sickness tablets, but there as much use as a chocolate kettle.” Rolling my eyes, my frown soon replaced with a smile.

“Buttt, baby is all healthy so why should I complain!” Max smiled throwing an arm around my shoulders.

“Shall we get the reveal going?” Nodding my head enthusiastically, he lead us over to the display he had arranged to be set up- as always with max go big or go home.

“Right everyone- just before we do this.” Everyone’s attention was drawn to Max, even mine, I told you his like a magnet!

“We do ask that if you want to take photos you can! But please keep them to yourselves- we don’t want anything on social media, not until we are ready.” Looking around at everyone he raised his eyebrows “understood?” A few nods and yes’s were heard around the group.

“Oh who has my mum and dad?” Glancing between them all, Lando then waved his phone- “their on FaceTime.” Smiling wide I waved at the camera before looking up at Max.

“You ready?” Breathing out a big breath I smiled reassuringly at him.

“Weirdly enough I’m terrified.” Taking his hand, agreeing with him we both turned to everyone.

“Countdown from three-”

“3-”

”2-”

”1-”

With a tight squeeze to his hand, everyone looked up at the sky…

And there it was painted in blue smoke.

Once again the garden filled with shouts of excitement.

“We’re having a boy-” without hesitation Max picked me up into his arms, jumping on the spot a little before setting me down. He clearly didn’t know what to do with himself… me? I was in shock-

“Oh my- we’re having a boy…” my hands came up to rub my temple- a wide smile broke out onto my face- the realisation finally setting in, I was quick to hug Max once again.

“Max we’re having a boy…” maybe it’s the hormones I don’t know- but the tears spilled once again- all I am lately is just a blubbering mess. I mean the other day I cried because the size of baby socks… baby socks!

“We are schat.” (Darling) Rubbing my back soothingly, he placed a delicate kiss to the top of my head- soon our little bubble was popped.

“And you thought it was going to be a girl!” Charles laugh was then heard and when everyone turned and looked he had a finger pointed at Carlos, bent over slightly. “Mate you look so silly.” Shaking my head at him a little smile on my face I looked up at Max. “These are your friends?” Shaking his head quickly, a smile also on his face. “I don’t even know them.”

Glancing back over I watched Lando bringing my mum and dad over, (on the phone of course), Sophie and Victoria with the two boys now slowly making their way over with wide smiles.

Another mini max… the world really isn’t ready.

Once congratulated- Waving byes to my parents, I blew them a kiss ending the phone and giving it back to Lando.

He pocketed his phone and then hugged me tight. “I’m so happy for you.” Leaning back he dragged max away from his family bringing him in the hug.

“And you- I’m so happy for you both.” Squeezing him tight, we all slipped away, me and max doing our rounds.

“Bet he feels like a boy now?” Smiling up at Carlos, who had his arms outstretched pulling me into a tight hug. “Congratulations!”

Smiling wide I pulled back, “thank you, and strangely enough… yeah.” Laughing a little I looked down at the tiny bump and back over at max.

“Think his happy?”

Carlos followed where I was looking, Max was grinning ear to ear, retelling how he felt when he see blue for the third time already.

“I would say so.” Laughing a little I then left him be, Charles now finding me. “I knew it!” Shaking my head with a smile, he then hugged me tight. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, you know I thought you was thinking girl by what your wearing.” Leaning back I looked at all the blue items.

“No… I’m wearing blue.” Shaking my head once again, I laughed a little “I’m now pulling your leg Charles.”

“Oh- I’m stupid.” Laughing along with me, Max then slid at our side. “You both okay?”

Nodding our heads charles patted max on the shoulder saying congratulations to him again before leaving us be.

“How are you feeling?” Subconsciously he raised the back of his hand to my forehead, before brushing some loose strands back… I couldn’t help gazing up at him- I’ll be honest them feelings never go away- the butterfly’s in my stomach, the blushed cheeks when his nearby… I couldn’t help it my body seemed to call out for him.

“Still in shock-" laughing a little, max smiled in return. “I can’t believe we’re having a boy…” whispering between us both like it was our own little secret.

“Truthfully I can’t believe we’re having a kid.” Max rose his hand to his chest taking a step back. “I’m going to pretend that didn’t hurt.” Rolling my eyes with a smile, I found my hand reaching for his forearm. Like I needed to be touching him somehow.

What is wrong with me…

—

Truthfully I couldn’t tell you what happened at the rest of the gender reveal, all I know is now, me and max are laying on the floor in his apartment going through baby names already.

My head was rested against his arm, my legs kicked up onto the sofa. Max was laying outstretched listening to me reel off names.

“Okay what aboutttt… Charlie?” In response a loud groan came from max.

“No that reminds me of Charles.” Laughing a little I flicked the page of the book scanning through.

“What about… Micky?”

“Like the mouse?”

“That’s off the table-” rolling my eyes at him even though he couldn’t see me.

“I like the ‘Mmm’ though- for the first letter.” Humming in agreement with him, I scanned the pages more.

“What about Milo-”

I dropped the book backwards, tilting my head back to see max, who seemed in deep thought.

“I like Milo…” smiling up at him I sat myself up, turning to face him.

“Milo… Emilian”

“You want my middle name?” Max also sat up, resting on his hand, keeping him propped, I nodded my head slightly.

“If that’s okay with you…?”

Enthusiastically he nodded his head in return. “I think it’s simply lovely.” Bursting out into laughter we both fell back into laying positions, my head now laid against his stomach.

“Another MEV.” The silence was loud-

“V?”

“Verstpapen.” Whispering just loud enough that he could hear me.

“Are you sure?”

“More positive than a pregnancy test…” both laughing a little, his hand reached down touching my cheek.

“Thank you-”

“You-” I was cut off by both mine and Max phones blowing up.

Both looking at each other we could only wonder what’s going down now…

I had millions of notifications from more instagram- when I clicked on. I felt my stomach drop.

“Max are you seeing this…” looking up at him, he only nodded his head slightly.

“I’m gonna kill him…”

Lando Norris posted to his story

—

Masterlist

[aajjks]

TPOL!JK

“I DON’T FUCKING TRUST HIM”

and there it is. the real reason, if you can call it that. the history between you and namjoon was sweet, you’ll admit but that chapter is over. you’re a stepmother to a beautiful baby boy and head over heels in love with his father but there will always be something or someone threatening to come between you two.

“so how did you know he was asking me on dates, jungkook?” you say when he brings up not snooping through your phone but namjoon asked to get coffee either yesterday or the day before that. “just gonna blatantly lie in my face, huh? okay” he wants to talk about trust yet here he is lying in your face about looking through your phone.

the salt on your wounds only burns more when he brings up chaeyoung, the woman he has a BABY with. sure, he regrets his actions but you don’t hold that against him. you just wish he’d stop being so regretful because jaemin has been nothing but a blessing in both yours and his life.

regardless of chaeyoung or namjoon, one thing jungkook can always do is trust you or he should try and trust you. if there’s anyone that should feel betrayed here, it’s you.

“no, i don’t trust chaeyoung around you but i trust you. i trusted you when you came back with scratches and bite marks on your neck, i trusted you when you went to see her at the hospital, i trusted you when you didn’t revoke your parental rights KNOWING jaemin i’m not his biological mother. so, hell no i don’t and would never trust her around you but i’ve always trusted you. i always have”

“if you claim to trust me so much, why does grocery shopping with him bother you so much? you trust me, right?“

He buries his head in his hands, feeling incredibly stupid and embarrassed. “ you are right I should trust you and I really do believe it or not. I just let my insecurities get the best of me…. Please try to understand where I’m coming from.”

“Isn’t it fuckin obvious yn?! I’m scared to lose you because I know that he’s better than me and he can treat you so much better than I can.” His voice is breaking as he finally lets out his fears.

And that is the truth, Jungkook knows very well. You deserve better, you deserve so much better because he’s so toxic. And he’s kind of fucked up.

But still, he cannot let you go. He’s so selfish.

“Why wouldn’t you want to be with a stable man who has a stable family and isn’t too fucked up in the brain?? And doesn’t have a child with his crazy ex?” His Sentences come out, wavering.

It is so hard for him to admit the truth. How pathetic is this? A 36 year-old man is still so insecure.

“Truth is… I can’t let you go, and I cannot let him have you again- you don’t belong with him you belong with me,” after finally gathering the courage, he says it the words he’s been wanting to for the longest time. “And I’d rather die than to watch you be with someone else.” He looks at you with desperation.

Jungkook sighs and he thinks for a while, still standing right in front of you, and then it hits him, so without wasting a moment- he’s off to search his nightstand.

You’re probably confused as to what he’s doing in the middle of an argument, you probably think he’s crazy. Yes he is, about you.

You repeatedly call out his name because you’re frustrated and clueless while he smiles big when he finds the thing he’s looking for.

And with the speed of light, Jungkook is right in front of you, he doesn’t waste another moment to get down on his knee, and he is presenting you with a purple velvet box.

He opens it and there’s a gorgeous ring sitting in it, it is a diamond ring with three diamonds attached to the band, Holding a very special meaning behind it. he just hopes that you’ll actually accept because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if you don’t.

Jungkook is a desperate and desperate times call for desperate measures and he honestly didn’t expect or think about proposing to you like this.

Oh no, not at all.

“Marry me, yn. Please.”

This is the only way he can be sure that you’ll be his forever and that he cannot steal you away from him.

[phoenixthemenace]

'That My Days Have Been A Dream' Day 8

DAY 8 Title: I Listen For Returning Feet- JRR Tolkien Prompt: Back From The Dead s2e18 'Seance'

It had been a bad run. One of those that lingers, clutching to the back of the brain, twisting and souring the stomach. This one hit Johnny particularly hard.

It wasn't like he'd never lost a patient. Even the way they died wasn’t new. But this one was different. It was too close to home.

Too close to his past.

He was sorry. Somewhere underneath everything he was trying not to feel- about his actions, his anger towards Cap, he was sorry. He wanted to apologize, to tell his story, to seek and receive comfort, but he'd held this all in so long he just didn't know how.

He'd hidden in the dorm, skipping dinner and the movie. They had one bizarre run to a house where a distraught woman was holding a seance to communicate with her late sister. As he watched the alleged medium storm irately from the house his mind wanted to think about what anyone he'd lost would have to say to him, but forced himself not to.

Back at the station, in his bunk, his hand throbbed from where he'd punched the squad earlier. Pain he knew he deserved. Besides, if he focused on that, it kept his thoughts from spiraling out of control. He hoped it would let him sink slowly into the oblivion of sleep

He heard Cap when he crept over to check on him, and he knew Roy was watching too. He tried to pretend he was asleep, but knew they all knew he was awake. Cap finally went to bed, and Roy's breathing evened off to sleep. He followed soon after.

He was alone on the open prairie, standing under the wide Montana sky, staring up, up into a blue so unbelievably deep and beautiful it never failed to take his breath away. Wind whipped his hair, and the sun warmed his back. Bright white clouds drifted lazily by dazzling his eyes.

He slowly became aware of a presence behind him, and turned to find his parents, back from the dead. He cried out and went to throw his arms around them, but his father held up his hand, stopping Johnny. He drank them in. They hadn't changed since the last time Johnny saw them, though he knew the passage of time had softened their edges in his memory.

They looked solemn, mouths turned down and eyes dark.

"Mom? Dad?" His voice cracked, a little boy on the edge of tears.

"You disappoint us, John." His father spoke.

"You've let us down." His mother's voice was devoid of warmth.

Johnny doubled over, the words hitting him like a physical blow.

"What?" He gasped. They didn't respond, just shook their heads, turned their backs and walked away, ignoring his pleas. His feet wouldn't respond to his desire to follow, and he eventually sank to his knees as his parents disappeared into the horizon.

He knew they were there before he turned his head. The parents from the earlier failed rescue. They stared at him with hatred and disgust.

"You let us die." He snarled.

"My babies are orphans because of you." She accused.

"You useless piece of shit."

"You should be ashamed."

"You should have died instead of us."

"Because there was a point to our existence."

"At least someone cared about us."

"We mattered."

He felt flayed open and raw. He wanted to weep. To beg. To deny. But what they said was true. His shaking body bowed in half until his forehead rested in the dirt.

He felt another presence and he looked up, a small blossom of hope in his chest. Roy was there. Roy would tell him it was okay, that he was okay. That he mattered. He raised his agonized face to Roy's.

But the comfort he sought wasn't there. The warm blue eyes were cold and full of hatred.

"Roy?" He whispered.

"They're right, John." And all of the bigotry and words of hatred and derision that Johnny heard all his life spewed from the lips of his best friend.

At least he thought Roy was his friend.

"You're useless, John. You mean nothing." Roy's lip twisted with disgust. "To no one."

He collapsed onto his side, curled into a ball, unable to bear any more. He willed his heart to stop beating. Roy finished it.

"To me, least of all."

Johnny woke with a start. He scrambled from his bed and into his bunkers, barely making it to the latrine before he threw up over and over again.

[skiller0dani]

Old Prison Blues | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut | dom!spencer x bau!reader requests info w.c | 7.2k summary | when your husband Spencer gets released from Prison, he's much different then you remember.

I have it so bad for this man, enjoy! Also guys this piece made butterflies squirm in my belly lmao this one is so HOT it made me blush. Guys, it made me B L U S H. I need to go dunk myself in holy water to atone for this SIN. (just kidding lmao I'm agnostic).

you can see his bulge in this gif and I can't stop admiring looking at it.

When you were in college you'd been an undergraduate in Criminal Justice, so you were familiar with the effects Prison has on the psyche. In other words, you knew Spencer would come back different. No person could pass through Prison unscathed and frankly you'd be more concerned if he came back and nothing had changed at all. At home, he seemed to be relatively okay, and those 6 mandatory weeks of break had allowed him the rest he deserved. Nothing exciting had happened during those weeks, the only thing you did was curl up on the couch next to him and watch movies. You'd made up for all those weeks in Prison during the evenings when you would cling to him and cry out his name in ecstasy.

Spencer really did seem to be fine, until you returned to work. That's when you started to see all the ways Prison had hardened him.

At first, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. If you were someone who knew Spencer well then you knew that he wasn't a man who was confident in his looks. When you and Spencer first got married he was insecure, and would be discouraged when you hung out with other guys. You wouldn't say he was jealous because jealously in itself requires a certain amount of anger. But when Spencer saw you around other men he wasn't angry, he was sad. Absolutely convinced you were going to leave him any second, despite you telling him you married him because you love him. Deep down, he always thought somebody would steal you from him even though you consistently reminded him how much you love him. That's just the kind of guy Spencer is.

Or, was.

The darkness that brews in Prison, the violent hatred, the anger seems to have followed Spencer to freedom. It has made a home in his chest, and while you're not worried about Spencer flying off the deep end and shooting an innocent, the anger reveals itself in much more subtle ways. It's in the way he clenches his jaw when he can't figure something out, or the blanching of his knuckles as he grips the steering wheel with a crushing force, it's the agitation in his eyes when he watches Alvez's knuckles brush against your lower back for the 3rd time since you two had arrived at the office this morning. The anger has adapted to civilian life like Spencer has, it's learned. It's subtle. Unfortunately you know Spencer almost better then he knows himself, you can tell when something is bothering him.

You slide your hands over his shoulders, and much to your surprise you feel him tense.

"You okay?" You know it's a stupid question, but you have to ask.

"Yeah, fine." Spencer's tone is clipped, shoulders rigid, back straight. Something is definitely bothering him. You squeeze his shoulders and begin to work at the tightened muscles, slowly easing them to relax. The tension flows out of him as he relaxes back in his desk chair, the frustration ebbing away slightly when his eyes catch your wedding ring. The object that binds you to him.

"Don't shut me out." You whisper, a soft plea in your voice. Spencer's heart wretches when he hears the fear in your tone, and one of his hands comes up to catch yours. He presses a chaste kiss to one of your knuckles before swiveling around to face you. You always find a way to soothe the violent, raging beast inside of him. Spencer's hands find your hips as he turns his gaze up to look at you.

"You're right I'm sorry. Just tense today." He says softly, and while there is a little lie to his words, his statement remains mostly the truth. He just leaves out the part where he pictures enacting varying forms of violence on Luke Alvez. The man who keeps unnecessarily touching his wife. You lean down to press a kiss to his forehead, your head snapping up when Garcia calls from the conference room.

"Got a case folks, and it's an ugly one." Her nose scrunches up into a frown before she turns into the room. You pull away from Spencer, yanking him to his feet by his hand. Luke sends you a playful wink as he trots up the stairs, and while you don't necessarily react to it, it still puts Spencer on edge. Deep down Spencer always knew you were way out of his league, but that never became clearer then when you came to visit him in Prison.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

You were trembling as you lowered yourself into the chair. Dried tears were on your cheeks, and you haven't even seen Spencer yet. The last time you saw him was a few weeks prior after he first got back from Mexico. Seeing his wrists bound in those metal handcuffs had broken your heart in a way you never anticipated. You wrung your hands together, luckily when Penelope had made the visitation Chart she scheduled you as the first person to come see him. The plastic chair was uncomfortable, but what was worse was the plastic guard separating you from Spencer. The clock ticked loudly, it was clearly mocking you. Reminding you of the seconds you were losing with Spencer, reminding you of all the seconds he was spending in Prison.

When you hear the buzzer scream loudly, you nearly come out of your seat you're so excited to see him. You and Spencer got married back in 2005, and you've never been separated from him for longer then a week. It's been over a month now, and each day he's not with you leaves a bigger hole in your chest. You watch him follow the other prisoners out, and the handcuffs around his wrists breaks your heart. His eyes light up the second he sees you, he nearly shoves the other guy over to get to you faster. There are tears in your eyes as Spencer's wrists are released from the cuffs from the guard standing nearby.

"Hey baby." Spencer says softly as he takes his seat across from you. All you want is to reach across the stupid barrier and touch him, hold his hand, anything. But you know the guards will punish him if he does, but being this close to him without being able to hold him is absolutely killing you. You try to blink the tears out of your eyes so that Spencer won't see, but it's all too much. Seeing him in a jumpsuit, with cuff bruises around his wrists, having to sleep in the same building as murderers. The first tear falls and you immediately look away from him.

"Please don't cry." Spencer begs softly. "I'm okay, really."

You wipe your tears before you look back up at him, digging around in your bag for a gift from Henry. You smile when you see the happiness cross onto his face as you pull the piece of paper out.

"Henry drew this for you, it's from when you guys went to the park." You hold it up for him to see and you try to fight another onslaught of tears when you see his eyes misting.

"You know, when I get out of here we should have one." Spencer says it so casually, you almost miss it. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you carefully lower the drawing.

"You want to try for a baby?" You can't hide the smile, and you see Spencer's eyes shine for the first time since he's been in here.

"Yeah, I want to have a baby with you." You and Spencer had a brief conversation about kids a few years ago, and you knew Spencer wasn't ready for it back then. His Father ran out on him and Diana when Spencer was just a kid, it made Spencer insecure about the type of Father he would end up being. In Spencer's mind, a fatherless man would never make a good Father. But it seems he's changed his mind. You had no issues agreeing to wait before you had kids until he was ready, you always knew Spencer would be a fantastic Father.

Suddenly from Spencer's right you hear a low wolf whistle. The tenderness that was on Spencer's face is instantly wiped away. His expression tenses, his jaw clenching as he turns his gaze to a large burly looking man covered in tattoos. The man sitting across from him, the one who was visiting, looked similar. Both of the biker looking men were eyeing me hungrily, it made my skin crawl.

"Something I can help you with?" Spencer asks, his voice tense. The tension in the room grows tenfold, and you fight the instinct to try and scoot closer to Spencer. The Biker looks Spencer in the eyes, a taunting smile on his face.

"That your sister?"

"Wife." Spencer snaps instantly.

"Your wife?" The Biker says incrediously, Spencer raises a brow, daring him to continue. "There's no way a woman with an ass that tight would marry a man as scrawny as you."

You expected to see insecurity flash in Spencer's eyes, instead all you saw was rage. Unbridled, violent rage.

"Choose your next words carefully." Spencer's voice was low, and as sharp as the edge of a blade. You almost didn't recognize him. The Biker leaned forward, fueled only by the knowledge that he was getting under Spencer's skin.

"She as tight as she looks? If I wasn't locked up, I'd fuck her so good she wouldn't even remember what your little pecker feels like."

Spencer's jaw clenches, and his fists curl tightly. The Biker is about 2 words away from a broken nose.

"Baby just let it go." You plead, and normally you don't really use pet names in public but right now you needed to show him that you're his.

"I'll tell you what Klein, I'll fuck her for you and tell you how it felt." The other man says, the man visiting. Upon hearing the words come out of his mouth, Spencer is shoving up from the chair but almost instantly a guard is tightly gripping Spencer's shirt and shoving him back into the chair. Spencer is fuming, and there's nothing you can do to calm him down.

"If you so much as lay a finger on her, your friend here will be dead before you can have another visit." Spencer hisses, and the two large men chuckle.

Spencer instantly took you off the visitors list, and while that felt like a blow to your heart you understood why. You didn't want to stress him out by visiting him.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

So, yeah, Spencer knew you were out of his league and when Luke pulled your chair out for you at the table before he had the chance to, it made his blood boil. Why is Luke trying to take care of you? Doesn't he know that Spencer has been released from Prison? You don't need anybody else to take care of you, your husband is more than capable of doing it himself. When Spencer sat down in the chair next to you, he rested one hand on your thigh. You're only slightly surprised, normally Spencer isn't this 'handsy' in public, but in recent weeks he's been more assertive around other men.

"The body of 23 year old Cassandra Richardson was found 2 weeks ago in Lincoln, Nebraska. Her body was mutilated and showed signs of sexual assault. Yesterday another body, 20 year old Francesca Williams was found around the same warehouse district with similar wounds to the first victim." Penelope rushes the words out, almost as though saying them pains her. Various images show on the screen of the two victims, both bloodied and battered.

"Other than similar injuries, what makes the local police think it's the same unsub?" Luke asks, his eyes flickering towards you for the briefest second. While Spencer was locked away, Luke became a shoulder to cry on. Normally when you were upset and Spencer wasn't around, you'd talk to Derek. But since he's been gone you've felt more isolated then you normally do. Luke had found you crying one morning before you had taken off, and ever since he's had an "older brother" protection over you.

"A tattoo on both of the victims thighs, the words 'temerata virginem' which is Latin for 'desecrated virgin'." With the click of a button on her remote, Penelope pulls up a photo of the tattoos. The lines are shaky, although they stay mostly straight.

"It almost looks professional, except the lines aren't perfectly straight. A professional would make the line work perfect." JJ says, examining the photo closer in the folder each of you received. You turn your gaze to Spencer when you feel his hand leave your thigh to examine the photo closer. You could practically see the gears turning in that beautiful mind of his.

"It's possible an outside source is causing a tremble in the unsubs hands, if he is a professional tattoo artist." Spencer mumbles, almost to himself. Sometimes when he's in deep concentration, he nearly forgets other people are in the room with him.

"Could be drugs-" Luke starts but is sharply cut off.

"Actually it's more likely to be alcohol, withdraw from other drugs would be too severe to operate the tattoo machine." Spencer snaps, causing a few heads to turn and look at him. Maybe under other circumstances someone would say something to him, but since Spencer got released from Prison only a few weeks ago, nobody says anything. Luke's eyebrows furrow together as he shoots Spencer a confused look, one Spencer chooses to ignore as his hand returns to your thigh. Spencer knows he's acting like a jerk but he can't help it, Luke needs to know who you belong to. Spencer had everything taken from him in Prison, he won't let anyone take you from him too.

"We've been personally asked by the local police to assist, so wheels up in 30." Emily concludes, shooting one more look at Spencer before everybody rises.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

The tension on the jet is thick, you're absolutely sure everybody can feel it. Hardly anyone has interacted with Spencer, except to ask him a question about the case. You sit back against the couch, Luke sitting in one of the chairs at the table, and Spencer sitting on the arm of the chair next to you. In your hand was a nearly empty cup of coffee, and just as you move to refill, Luke rises with his own empty cup.

"Need a refill?" He asks, offering you a friendly smile.

"Yeah actually-"

"I got it." Spencer says abruptly, standing from where he was sitting. His eyes meet Luke's, silently challenging him. You try to be understanding, but you can't help but feel annoyed at Spencer. If he was acting like this to some random guy then that's one thing, but this is Luke. He's your friend, he's Spencer's friend. Luke, and the rest of the team, put everything on the line to free Spencer from Prison.

"It's cool man, I can do it-" Luke offers again, but Spencer isn't having it.

"I said I got it." Spencer reaches his hand out for your mug, which you instantly give to him. His eyes don't leave Luke's until he turns around and heads to the back of the jet to refill your coffee. Luke pauses for a few seconds, his eyes meeting yours and mirroring the same look of concern before he heads for the coffee pot as well. Luke isn't even upset by how Spencer is treating him, he- like everyone else, is worried about Spencer's psyche.

"What is going on with Spencer?" JJ whispers once she's sure Spencer is out of earshot. You shrug, your worried eyes landing on your husband. His posture is tense, almost defensive.

"Well can you blame him? In Prison, everything that's yours can and will be stolen by the other male inmates. Now that he's free, Spencer is being protective of his wife, someone that is his and can be taken by other men." Rossi says, always naturally a tad protective of Spencer.

"There isn't a man on this planet that would make me leave Spencer." You say defensively, although you know Rossi didn't mean anything by what he said.

"That might be obvious to you, but not to Spencer." JJ says, eyeing Spencer standing back near the coffee machine.

"Doing okay man?" Luke asks hesitantly as he moves to stand next to Spencer.

"Yep." Spencer says shortly, waiting for the pot to brew. Luke feels the tension rolling off Spencer in waves, and it's all being directed at him and he's not sure why.

"Look, if I've done something to upset you, just talk to me about it Reid." Luke's voice is gentle, understanding. Spencer's jaw clenches again as the pot finishes brewing and he refreshes your cup before reaching for the creamer.

"I'm fine Alvez. Really." Spencer says again, but Luke isn't willing to let this go yet.

"No Reid, you're not-"

"Stop flirting with my wife." Spencer's tone is firm, and the look in his eyes tells Luke just how on edge Spencer is.

"You got it." Luke agrees instantly, even though he was never flirting with you. But he knows that right now arguing with Spencer will only make things worse. Seemingly satisfied with Luke's answer, Spencer carries your cup back you, slinging an arm around you.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Spencer twists his wedding ring around his ring finger, something he does when he's stressed out or tense. You're currently sat in the interrogation room with the male suspect, a tattoo artist attending AA meetings, the tattoo on the first victim was the shakiest because he had just quit drinking. The other, more recent, victims tattoo's were more steady. The longer he stayed sober, the more his trembling faded. In Spencer's other palm is your wedding ring, you fit the physical preference of this killer perfectly, but he only went after single women. Emily thought sending somebody in fitting his victimology would throw him off enough to say something incriminating. In order for the rouse to work, you needed to appear single- meaning the wedding ring had to come off. The thought didn't settle well in Spencer's gut.

"You have to relax." JJ said suddenly from Spencer's right. He nearly ignored her but his frayed nerves were beginning to eat at him.

"I can't. Do you see the way he's looking at her?" Spencer was pacing back and forth in front of the one way glass like a caged animal, unable to take his eyes off of the train wreck happening in front of him.

"She can handle herself Spence." JJ insists gently, almost using a motherly tone to talk to him.

"She's mine!" And suddenly the crux of the issue comes to light, and Spencer pinches the bridge of his nose, releasing a heavy breath. JJ thinks about her words carefully, trying to find something to say that will calm him at least a little.

"Yeah, and nothing is going to change that Spencer. You need to relax, and you have to trust her. You're not in Prison anymore, nobody is going to take her from you." JJ says, looking him in the eyes. Suddenly the sound of metal screeching across a concrete floor sounds from behind Spencer and when he turns around, his blood boils hot in his veins. The suspect, Alan Baker, has shoved out of his chair and has started towards you.

"Spencer-" JJ's voice is distant, and comes too late. Spencer isn't listening to her anymore when his fist curls around the door handle and he nearly rips it off its hinges.

"You need to step back." Spencer snaps, reaching for his gun as Alan Baker backs you into the corner of the interrogation room. You weren't ever truly afraid, you could have handled Alan. Slowly, Alan backs away from you and Spencer instantly reaches for you. He leads you out of the room with a gentle but firm hand on your back. Once you're out of the interrogation room you turn to Spencer.

"What the hell? I could have dealt with him!" You insist, frustration laced in your tone. At this point JJ silently slips out of the room, giving you and Spencer some much needed privacy. Spencer crosses his arms as he leans back against the one way mirror.

"You didn't need to, I did." Spencer huffs and you seriously resist the urge to throw something at him.

"What is your problem today? You could have compromised my entire interrogation, he's never going to tell me anything now!" You snap, anger pinching at your features.

"Good! Now you have no reason to talk to him again." Spencer snaps back, can't you see that he's just protecting what's his?

"Spencer we're trying to save somebody! You're being selfish!" You say to him angrily, trying your best not to start yelling at him. Spencer's selfish possessiveness over you could have just ruined your entire investigation.

"This is why the Bureau was hesitant to reinstate you. They were scared you wouldn't be able to control yourself." You snap at him, crossing your arms.

"Are you saying they made a mistake?" Spencer asks incrediously, suddenly becoming defensive.

"Maybe they did. Because you're acting like an asshole right now. You've been a jerk to Luke the entire day when he busted his ass to help get you out of Prison and back to me! Since when have you not trusted me during an interrogation? What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to let him touch me? I thought you trusted me." You cry out, tears filling your eyes now. Spencer didn't say anything as you turned for the door, anger still laced in his features.

"This has nothing to do with me not trusting you-"

"If you don't trust me, then maybe you should just hold onto my wedding ring for a while. I don't want it." You snap quietly, and you regret the words the second they leave your lips. No matter how mad he makes you, you'd never leave Spencer. You watch Spencer's expression shift from anger to...hurt. He watches silently as you slam the door behind you. Prison has turned him into somebody he isn't, and Spencer doesn't know how to turn off this part of his brain. The part telling him that you belong to him, and that he needs to protect what's his.

Rossi catches the sight of your tear stained cheeks as you move back towards the kitchen in the precinct. You wipe your tears as he comes to stand beside you, and the look on his face tells you that he overheard your fight with Spencer. Rossi bumps you with his elbow gently, a small smile on his face.

"You don't look okay." He says softly and you let out a self-depreciating laugh.

"I'm not. I don't know how to help Spencer, he doesn't trust me." You say sadly, your heart breaking in your chest.

"It's not you he doesn't trust, it's other men." Rossi clarifies, although it does little to ease the pain. You reach up to brush your hair behind your ear when Rossi catches your hand, examining your ring finger.

"Where's your wedding ring?"

"Told Spencer I didn't want it." The words are laced with heavy regret, and when you remember the look on his face when you said it you almost start to cry again. Rossi wraps an arm around you, and you lean your head on his shoulder.

"Deep down, he knows you didn't mean it." He tries to reassure you.

"That's the problem, he probably thinks I meant it."

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Normally it only takes you and Spencer a few hours to smooth things over after a fight. But this time, it's been nearly 3 hours and you haven't spoken a word to each other. You're both working on searching through Alan Baker's financial records without speaking at all. Neither of you have said anything, and Spencer still has your wedding ring. You desperately want it back, but you don't know how to start that conversation. You're angry about how he's been treating everybody, and you feel like asking for your ring is accepting defeat. You're not ready to accept defeat. When Emily comes into the room, her eyes settle on the two of you.

"Okay, what's going on with you guys?" Her arms are crossed.

"Nothing." The word comes from both yours and Spencer's mouths at the same time, and you say it far too quickly. Emily raises one brow at the two of you before closing the door behind her.

"Alright I'm going to have to be a boss now. We are not going to lock this guy away if the two of you are fighting. We need everybody on their A-game. Fix it. Now, and I mean right now." She says, leaving the room but closing the door behind her. There's a suffocating silence that fills the room, both you and Spencer too stubborn to speak first. But you can't take it, you hate it when he's mad at you. You hate it when you guys fight, which isn't often but it does happen occasionally.

"I didn't mean it." You whisper, leaning on the table, facing away from him. Spencer doesn't say anything but you know he's listening.

"I didn't mean it Spencer, I want my ring." He'd be lying if he said he wasn't relieved to hear you say that, his entire world crashed down around him the second you told him to keep the ring. The irrational part of his brain told him you were going to divorce him.

"Can I please have it back?" You ask, barely turning your head to look at him. With a huff Spencer pushes away from the table to move in front of you. His eyes are focused on your hand, he has yet to look at you. Spencer fishes around in his pocket before he finds your ring and gently slides it onto your ring finger.

"You have to stop glaring at any man that gets to close to me, especially Luke." You tell him, but he continues to look away from you. Spencer pushes past you to stand near the windows, his back facing you. The thing about Spencer is that he's stubborn, really stubborn. You take a few steps towards him, nibbling on your lower lip.

"I love you Spencer, I'm sorry. I was an ass, but you acted like an ass too." You tell him, but Spencer only turns his head further away from you. You move to stand in front of him, but his eyes turn to the ground and his arms are crossed tightly. Seriously?

"Please talk to me Spencer, tell me what's going on." You can see the frustration laced in his features, there's something on the tip of his tongue that he needs to say.

"Spencer."

"After you left from your visit, do you know why I didn't let you come back?" Spencer snaps, his hands finding your shoulders to yank your body against his. Your chest collides with his and suddenly you feel a dampness building between your legs. You instantly turn to putty in his hands.

"I didn't let you come back because that asshole told everybody about you. Told everybody what a tight little body you have. Soon the entire cell block was fantasizing about my 'sexy wife'. Do you have any idea what it's like to listen to men constantly talk about fucking your wife?" Spencer's voice is tense, but you can see it. The lust building behind his eyes, the frustration, and the fear of losing you simmering underneath it all.

"N-No." Your voice is breathy, and your eyes are lidded as Spencer's hands slide up your arms to your shoulders.

"It's fucking hell Y/N. Every time I see any man look at you I want to rip his eyes out, and I can't turn it off. I've tried, and the way that Alvez looks at you- it drives me fucking crazy." Spencer snaps, the anger building by the second. Your entire body begins to hum with an intense need, and Spencer can see it in your eyes. Spencer releases you then and he turns for the door, at first you're afraid he's going to leave but instead he locks the door. Luckily it's late, so the police station is more deserted then it is during the day. Turning back to you, Spencer reaches for the blinds next and you can't help but follow his every movement with your eyes.

"Get on your knees." Spencer says suddenly, and you freeze in shock. Did he just say...?

"Get. On. Your. Knees." Spencer says again through clenched teeth, leaning back against the table, heat simmering in his eyes. His hands grip the edge of the table and you feel a throb from between your legs. Quickly you scramble onto your knees in front of him, your hands reaching up to undo his belt. Once the belt is unfastened, you're quickly unbuttoning his dress slacks, your eagerness making your hands a bit clumsy. Spencer has never been this dominant during sex, but you have no complaints. He has your knees weak and he hasn't even touched you. You quickly dip your hand into his boxers to pull his hardening cock out. As soon as his cock is freed, your lips are wrapping around the head. Spencer's head tosses back in ecstasy.

"Your lips look so pretty stretched around my cock. Those bastards could only imagine having you on your knees for them." Spencer snaps, his hand weaving into the hair at the back of your head. You moan softly around him at his crude words, slowly sliding down his cock. Spencer groans when he feels your tongue laving the underside of his cock, along the vein that runs from base to tip. Apparently feeling impatient, Spencer pushes your head further down his cock. He feels his tip right at the entrance of your throat, and with one gentle thrust he breaches your throat and his cock slides all the way into your mouth.

"Fuck," Spencer hisses, and Spencer does not curse often. So the fact that you have been able to draw curses from his mouth is nothing short of a miracle. Spencer's chest heaves slightly as you gag lightly around him, drawing another deep groan from his chest. You feel nearly desperate to please him, you need to make him cum. You want him to fucking pound you, you want him to use your body for his pleasure. You want him to release all of his frustration out on you, you want to be sore when he's done.

"You're mine. This is my body to touch and admire, my tight pussy to stretch open, mine." Spencer growls, thrusting gently to meet your hasty movements. You whimper around his cock, gagging slightly again as spit dribbles down your chin. Your eyes are wide and watery as you look up at him, and the sight of you nearly causes him to blow his load. You just look so fucking beautiful on your knees in front of him, drool on your chin and your mouth full of cock. It's a sight he will never forget. You move your head faster, keeping your eyes locked on his. Spencer squeezes the edge of the table, his head tossing back when his orgasm hits him. You feel his cum shooting in spurts to the back of your throat and you swallow every drop. Once you pull off him, Spencer is grabbing your elbows to pull you to stand.

Spencer's hands are reaching for the button of your dress slacks as his mouth presses messily to yours. Spencer's tongue pushes into your mouth, his hands pushing your pants down and you kick them off. Instantly, Spencer's fingers are sliding into your panties and through your slick folds. You whine loudly against his mouth, your eyes fluttering shut as his palm roughly cradles the back of your head.

"Need to make sure you know who you belong to." Spencer snaps as he pulls away from you, quickly pushing two long fingers into your dripping hole. You cry out before Spencer is slapping a hand over your mouth, your back pressed against the wall. Spencer's slender frame is leaning against you, effectively trapping you against the wall and his body. Your eyes are rolling when Spencer's finger crook inside of you while roughly thrusting into you.

"Gotta be quiet, wouldn't want Luke to catch us now would we?" Spencer breathes in the shell of your ear, sending goosebumps spreading over your skin. You are completely at Spencer's mercy and you wouldn't have it any other way. The pleasure shooting through you goes rocketing up your spine when Spencer scissors his fingers inside of you. You're mumbling incoherently against his palm, desperate pleas not to stop, to please let you cum. Your entire body is flushed, and you feel sweat on your skin like a sheen layer over you. Spencer feels you begin to squeeze around his fingers and he replaces his palm with his mouth, swallowing all of your moans and desperate cries.

Your back is arching as your high approaches, and you climb higher and higher to meet it. Spencer never lets up, his fingers steadily pumping into you and his lips muffling all of your cries of pleasure. The sounds you make are music to his ears, they tell him that you will always be his, no matter what childish fears he has. Your hands come up to unbutton the buttons on Spencer's dress shirt, you need to feel more of him. Before you can finish undressing your husband, his fingers nudge your cervix and you instantly clamp around his fingers, your body convulsing.

"You look so beautiful when you cum." Spencer praises, his cock rock hard again. He needs to be inside of you as soon as humanely possible. Spencer pulls away from you to grasp the base of his cock, no need to bother with protection. The two of you already agreed that you want to try for a baby anyway.

"Please baby, please get inside me. How could you think I'd ever leave you? I love you, and nobody could make me cum like you can." You moan desperately, turning to bend over the table. Spencer's hand runs up your spine, enjoying the way you wriggle your hips in search of his cock. There are butterflies squirming in your stomach as you spread your legs apart wider for him, but he still doesn't bring his cock closer to you.

"Oh c'mon Spence don't do this please. Baby, fuck me." You plead, nearly sobbing as you shamlessly beg. He presses his tip against your soaked entrance and you whine. You hear fabric rustling around and you turn your head just in time to see him pull his tie from around his neck.

"I needed to hear you beg for me, and this is to keep you quiet. As much as I love the sounds you make when I'm inside you, I can't let anyone else hear you." Spencer says, his voice low and rumbling from his chest. You open your mouth to let him tie the silk fabric in your mouth. You try to whimper but you gag around the tie in your mouth, and you see a pleased smile cross onto Spencer's face. Your fingers grasp at the edge of the table as you impatiently wait for Spencer to push into you. You feel his glorious cock nestled at your entrance, the tip barely nudging in. You feel another wave of slick gush out of you and Spencer is running his tip through your already drenched folds. Such a tease.

You whine softly, trying to push back against him. Spencer chuckles darkly before his hands grasp your hips to hold you steady. With one firm thrust, Spencer is breaching your folds and sliding deep inside you. You feel heat searing through you, your head dropping to the table as you whimper through the burn. The stretch burns more then you anticipated, and you hear Spencer groaning softly, which sends another wave of liquid heat rushing through you.

"God you feel so good baby, you take my cock so fucking well." Spencer praises, gently pulling out to slowly thrust back in. His eyes are locked on the place where you two connect, watching with hooded eyes as his cock disappears inside you.

"I wish you could see this baby, I love watching you take my cock." He praises through a soft moan, and you drink up every sound he makes. Spencer needed this so bad and you love the fact that you can give him a type of relief nobody else on the planet can give him. Spencer steadily thrusts into you when you both hear footsteps slowly passing outside the room. You expect Spencer to stop, to pull out of you and start redressing but he doesn't. He slows his pace considerably, but he still slowly thrusts into you.

"Shh, I would hate for whoever that is to see my cock buried in your pretty pussy." Spencer whispers as he leans forward to whisper in your ear. You struggle to contain the whimpers, but somehow you remain completely silent as Spencer gently thrusts into you. Once whoever it is passes by, Spencer resumes his quicker thrusts. His pelvis hits your ass with enough force to send you lurching across the table and your fingers scramble to find purchase against the smooth surface.

"This is my pussy, you're my wife, you're mine. Not Luke's, not that dick from the Prison. Mine." Spencer says, punctuating the words with a sharp thrust into you. You wished you could answer him, that you could cry to the heavens that you belong to Spencer Reid- that you never want to belong to anybody else. You settle for squeezing his cock whenever it returns to your velvety warmth, chanting the same word in your head over and over.

Yours yours yours yours yours.

Your forehead presses against the table, muffled and strangled cries escaping your lips every time Spencer hits deep inside you. His cock stretches you perfectly, and always hits places deep inside you. Places you didn't know existed. Soon you feel your orgasm creeping up on you, and you feel lightheaded so you reach up to yank the tie away from your mouth.

"Please make me cum Spence, I'm so close baby please don't stop." You beg, muffling your moans with your palm as he drives his cock into you. You feel sweat covering your entire body and Spencer holds your hips with a bruising force. You feel that coil winding tighter and tighter, and you release a high pitched whine when Spencer's hand snakes around your body to thumb your clit.

"Oh Spencer your cock feels so good, soo good baby. Always feels so good, fuck baby I love you," You're not sure what you're saying at this point, an incoherent mess of praises for the man above you. Spencer loves when he reduces you to this, speaking in a jumble of words and disconnected statements because you can't think with his cock inside you.

"I, shit, I love you-" Spencer gasps, slamming his cock inside you and rolling your clit before you're squeezing around him tightly, your mouth falling open in a silent scream. You cum in hot gushes around him and Spencer can only offer a few more stuttering thrusts before he's cumming with a loud growl, coating your walls in his hot cum. Spencer keeps his cock inside you, ensuring his cum stays inside you. He wants to get you pregnant. His palms gently hold your hips, and all the frustration he's felt all day has completely disappeared. His chest is heaving from the exertion but he feels more relaxed then he has all day. There's a smile on your face and your eyes are closed as your legs finally give out and you collapse against the table.

"You okay?" You hear Spencer's voice, and you can't help but smile when you hear that he's panting slightly. You hum with a smile on your face.

"I'm amazing." You mumble back, feeling Spencer begin to gently massage your back. You love enjoying the afterglow with him, even if you're laying on a table. Slowly Spencer pulls out, but he groans softly when he sees his cum inside your pussy. He reaches to the floor to pull your panties and dress slacks back up your legs and he quickly tucks himself back into his pants. He buttons the 4 buttons you managed to open on his shirt before he's gently pulling you to stand.

"You sure you're alright?" Spencer asks, concern in his eyes. You nod with a smile, but when he releases his hold on your shoulders, you feel your legs tremble and give out underneath you. Spencer immediately catches you and sets you down on the table. You laugh softly.

"Guess you fucked me good."

"Sorry." Spencer says sheepishly, but you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Don't be, that had to have been the best sex we've had in a long time." You mumble against his lips and Spencer hums in agreement. Reaching for his tie, Spencer shoves it in his pocket before he pokes his head out of the room you guys just defiled.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry about what I said. I love you so much, I didn't mean what I said about my ring-" You blubber suddenly, drawing Spencer's attention to you. He cradles your head against his chest, pressing kisses to your forehead.

"I know baby, it's okay. I love you." Spencer answers quietly, holding you to him tightly.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk today. I'm just so protective of you. I can't let anything steal you from me." Spencer admits softly and you cup his cheeks to make him look at you. There is a sadness in his eyes that you want to obliterate, you can't stand it when he's sad. It breaks your heart.

"Nothing could steal me from you. I only want you Spencer." You say quietly and you see tears misting his eyes. He presses his lips desperately against yours, and you feel tears cascading down yours and his cheeks. The kiss is wet, but it's passionate and you throw every ounce of love you have for this man into it. When you and Spencer part, your foreheads are pressed together.

"Hey Spence? How am I gonna get to the hotel. I can't walk." You say softly with a giggle and Spencer smiles mischievously.

"I guess I'll have to carry you." He scoops you bridal style into his arms then and you blush deeply when he carries you out of the room and towards the front entrance.

"Spencer! Everybody is going to know!" You whisper into his ear and he chuckles.

"Good."

[messers-moony]

Pretty Face | S.B

Paring: Young!Sirius Black X Fem!Reader

Summary: Sirius takes his girlfriend to his family home and Walburga takes out all her pent up jealousy out on her. 

Inspiration: Click

Walburga Black didn’t have the life every girl dreamed about. She always dreamed of an extravagant wedding with the man of her dreams. Perhaps a tall man with a sweet personality. One to take care of her when she had a bad day at work. But that was not the life she got. 

Instead, Walburga Black had an arranged marriage with her cousin Orion. The wedding was extravagant, but she definitely wasn’t marrying the man of her dreams. Sure he was tall, with dark hair and gleaming grey eyes, but he wasn’t sweet. He was quite the opposite. He had a tongue of silver, and his brutal words brought a knife to her heart. 

Waking up to Orion was like waking up on Christmas Day alone. You can feel it; it’s so close, but yet it’s never quite right. The feeling of loneliness is there, and it never fades. Walburga was beautiful, or at least she thought so. Beautiful thick raven hair and eyes bluer than the sky, cheeks full and colored. If she was this beautiful, then why did she deserve this cruel of a fate. 

Pressure is the worst motivator. Walburga’s mother - Irma - pushed her and Orion to have children before she couldn’t carry them. Irma wanted grandchildren, and Walburga needed to produce an heir before; for some reason, she couldn’t. The Black family name needed to continue and get passed down. 

As a result of Orion and Walburga’s parent's pressure, she got pregnant with their first child. She hated this. She hated knowing that this child would grow up without a loving parental relationship. Orion and Walburga couldn’t love each other. They just couldn’t. But she wished that for her unborn child, they could. 

After much debate, they decided to name him Sirius Orion Black the Third. Sirius was the brightest star in the Canis Major - the dog constellation. His middle name was a regular hand-me-down. Most boys got their middle name from their fathers first, and most girls got theirs from their mothers first. 

Sirius was the most beautiful baby boy. Maybe she was biased, but she thought he was gorgeous. His skin was beautiful porcelain, and his eyes were so bright, energetic, and full of life. Something Walburga used to have but no longer did. He was her pride and joy—his little giggles and his voice when he began to talk. Sirius Black would be her everything - her one reason. 

But eventually, that one reason would become two. She was pregnant again. While her first pregnancy, she felt entirely alone. Now she had Sirius, and he was so sweet. During days where Walburga didn’t feel like getting out of bed, leaving Orion to take care of him, Sirius would sneak away to spend time with his momma. Sirius would crawl to the side of the bed and poke her until she held him in her arms. 

He would lay on his side and snuggle his back into her chest. Walburga would place her hand on his stomach, placing the covers over them both. She couldn’t believe how lucky she got. Orion was god awful, but her son was everything. 

Nine months later, Regulus Arcturus Black. His first name was a star in the Leo constellation, while his middle name was inherited from his Grandfather. The same pale skin as Sirius and sparkling silver eyes. She now had two reasons to continue. Her little boys, till the end. 

It wasn’t until both boys were five when Irma had a talk with Walburga about how they should be raised. Personally, Walburga thought they were the perfect little boys. Okay, sometimes they would break something, but that was normal, wasn’t it? They were boys, and they cause a ruckus. Sirius had tuffs of straight black raven hair. Regulus’ hair was wavier but still held the dark color. 

Of course, they knew their manners. Saying titles such as ‘ma’am’ and ‘sir,’ but apparently, that wasn’t enough in Irma’s eyes. They needed to sit straight, only speak when spoken to, begin their studies and stop being childish. But they were children. They’re supposed to be children. 

Irma did the cruelest thing when this was brought up by saying that if Walburga didn’t straighten her boys up, they’d be banned from the Noble House of Black. So she tried. But Sirius and Regulus were already so in their roots that trying to get them to stop was damn near impossible. So she resulted in using spells as punishments. 

By the age of seven, they were terrified of their mother. Walburga thought that Orion’s words could hurt her, but nothing hurt more than seeing her boys cower at the sight of her. She so badly wanted to cup their cheeks and give them kisses all over. She tried to baby them. She wanted them to have a childhood. But that couldn’t happen when you’re in the Noble House of Black. 

So why did she feel this way? Was it envy? Was it jealousy? Why did she hate it when Sirius brought his girlfriend home? 

Walburga couldn’t deny it. The girl was gorgeous. Her hair was silky smooth, rid of all tangles. Eyes of hypnotizing e/c. She seemed shy but still managed to be formal—greetings with the titles of ‘ma’am’ and ‘sir.’ 

Sirius was fourteen, him getting a girlfriend was bound to happen. He only got more good-looking as he grew up.  His hair got longer, and his face became more defined. Not to mention how tall he got. He was taller than Walburga now. Her baby boy, who used to snuggle with her, was no longer such a baby. Of course, Walburga had scolded him for being in Gryffindor, but in reality, she was proud of him. 

This girl - Y/n - was in Slytherin. She wasn’t a pureblood, in fact, she was a half-blood. But regardless, she was a Slytherin. Perhaps that could do some good for Sirius. Maybe Walburga wouldn’t have to ban him from the family-like Irma kept telling her to. Even as an old woman, she was a pain in the ass. 

They all made it to the dining room, and Sirius pulled out Y/n’s chair, gently pushing her in. It made Walburga grit her teeth. Why couldn’t Orion show some decency when around guests? Why didn’t Orion do that? Is this what she’s been missing the entire time? She tried to swallow it as they began eating. 

Y/n wiped her mouth with her napkin, “Thank you, Mrs. and Mr. Black, for this meal. It’s terrific.”

Walburga did nothing to acknowledge her. It dampened Y/n’s mood a tad, not knowing what she had done to tick them off. Sirius reached his hand under the table, intertwining their fingers together. With his thumb, he drew hearts and smiled wildly. Their love made Walburga sick to see her son with that dopey smile on his face. 

Regulus made conversation first after minutes of the awful silence, “So, Y/n, I saw you talking with Pandora and Marlene before the break. Are you guys friends?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Pandora is so sweet. She’s astute too.”

“Well, she is in Ravenclaw, makes sense.” Regulus shrugged, “What about Marlene?”

“Oh, well, we practice Quidditch together even if we’re on opposing teams.” Y/n answered, “Normally, someone else will join us like James or Nick, so Marlene throws the Bludgers at us while we throw the Quaffle around. It helps us learn how to dodge.”

Regulus had stars in his eyes, “That’s brilliant!” 

“Thanks. You can always join us if you’d like.”

“I’d love to.”

Y/n smiled warmly at him as Walburga spoke up for the first time that night, “So, you and your friends hang out often?” Her tone sounded condescending. 

“We do.” Walburga gritted her teeth, “I hang out with Leia the most, though. She’s been with me since the first year.”

“You guys must go out every night.”

She chuckled, “No, ma’am. Most of the time, Leia and I study. Sometimes Sirius and I sneak out to Hogsmeade, though.”

Sirius smiled as Y/n nudged him with her shoulder, gently kissing the top of her head, “You guys don’t have a care in the world, do you?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’re ruining the Black family name.” Walburga snapped, “All you have is a pretty face. You’re too happy and pretty for this family.”

Sirius tightened his grip on Y/n’s hand, “You shouldn’t get to choose who you marry. You’re in Slytherin. You get an arranged marriage.”

“Mum, I think that’s-“

“No!” She yelled, and both boys flinched, “You’re so pretty, aren’t you, doll? That doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things.”

“Looks mean nothing.” Walburga growled, “One day, Sirius will find better, and he’ll cheat on you because that’s all he’s ever seen.”

Sirius stood up abruptly, “That’s enough!”

“Walburga!” Orion shouted, and they turned to him, “Leave the girl alone.”

Walburga hmphed and sat back down in her seat. Y/n was flabbergasted, trying to digest everything that had just been said to her. Sirius was glaring daggers at his mother. That was improper and awful behavior. He wished that Y/n didn’t have to witness it. After dinner was over, they went up to Sirius’ room, where he packed a bag of some stuff, and they left to go to Y/n’s house. 

Sirius had met Y/n’s parents prior, and they were so kind to him. It’s where he usually went over winter and Easter break. That night hon of them had gotten ready for bed. Sirius was in a hoodie and sweatpants. Y/n was wearing his Quidditch jersey and shorts. 

Both of them slipped under the comforter of Y/n’s bed, and Sirius’ arms went around her waist, pulling her back close to his chest, “I’m sorry for earlier.”

“It’s not your fault, Siri.” Y/n rubbed his hands, “You told me it was a bad idea, but I insisted anyway.” 

“That’s because it’s normal to meet the parents.” Sirius sighed, “Mine just aren’t normal.”

Y/n turned to face him; his face looked crestfallen; she cupped his cheek, “Your parents were forced together. There was never any love in their marriage. That’s what makes them different. I think your mum saw us together and was jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Has your dad ever pulled out a chair for her?”

Sirius shook his head. 

“Has he ever held your mum’s hand?”

Another shake.

“Kissed her?”

“Not by choice.”

“She’s jealous because you do all those things for me. You’re a gentleman, and she hates that.” Y/n replied, “She wanted a man like you to love her, but she never got that.”

Sirius kissed her palm, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Y/n kissed his forehead, pulling his head to her chest, “I promise I’ll love you till the end.”

He kissed her neck in thanks, “Get some rest, puppy.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

i’m giving up this life ~ thomas shelby;peaky blinders

word count: 1996

request?: no

description: after his wife takes a bullet meant for him, tommy finds she was holding a secret from him, and that it is time for him to give up on the gangster lifestyle

pairing: thomas shelby x female!reader

warnings: swearing, violence

masterlist (one, two)

Tommy closed his eyes as the shot rang out. For once, he was prepared for whatever was coming, and he even started to silently ask for forgiveness in his next life.

However, the end didn’t come. There wasn’t even any pain that would’ve indicated he was shot. When he opened his eyes, he found his wife laying on the ground at his feet instead, a pool of blood growing around her.

The man who had attempted to kill Tommy was frozen in shock as he watched the infamous gang leader fall to his knees. He took his wife into his arms, cradling her as he frantically tied to stop the blood coming from her wound.

"Come on, love,” he begged. “Wake up, stay with me.”

Her skin was ice cold. Tommy’s hands were stained red within seconds of touching her wound. He was panicking, his mind wasn’t working properly.

Anger started to course through his veins, and in one quick motion, he pulled his gun and shot the man until he was riddled with bullet wounds. He scooped (Y/N) up in his arms and quickly carried her out of the room.

“Tommy!” Arthur called as Tommy emerged from the building. “What happened?”

“I don’t know where she came from,” Tommy said, still in a partial daze of anger and worry. “One minute it’s just me and him, the next I find (Y/N) in front of me after...she’s bleeding so much.”

Arthur opened the door of his car. “Get in, I’ll get us to the hospital.”

~~~~~~

The wait was agonizingly long. Tommy had begged to be in the room with (Y/N) as they operated on her, but the doctor was firm in having him wait in the waiting room. The Peaky Blinders may have had most officials in Birmingham under their thumb, but the doctors still held a certain level of professionalism no matter who their patients were.

Polly came to be with him while Arthur and the boys went to deal with the body Tommy had left behind. She was watching him pace back and forth in front of her. “Tommy, pleas sit down. You’re making me dizzy.”

“How much longer till we hear something?” Tommy asked, ignoring his aunt. “They’ve been in there for so long.”

“It takes time, dear. They have to make sure she doesn’t have any complications and she’ll make a full recovery.”

“Why don’t they know yet?”

Polly sighed as Tommy finally sat next to her. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and struggled to light it. His hand was shaking so much the flame wouldn’t stay over the cigarette. She placed a more steady hand over Tommy’s and guided the light to the cigarette.

“She’ll be okay Tommy.”

Tommy was blinking back tears as he took a puff from his cigarette. “Why would she put herself in danger for me?”

Polly took Tommy’s hand in hers. “Love makes you do crazy things, and she loves you so much.”

Tommy didn’t say anything. Instead, he took another long puff off his cigarette.

(Y/N) was an angel; a kind woman with a heart of gold who was strong and unafraid of anyone or anything. Tommy could never understand what it was that made her fall in love with him, and he’d never understand how she could love him so much that she’d risk her life for him.

When the doctor emerged and called (Y/N)’s name, Tommy was standing within seconds. “Is she okay?”

“She will be after some rest,” the doctor told him. “She lost a lot of blood, but you got her here just in time. We managed to extract the bullet and stitch up her wound. They’ll both be just fine.”

“They?” Tommy asked.

“The baby.” Tommy’s eyes widened, which answered any questions the doctor had. “You didn’t know.”

Tommy was shocked into silence. He didn’t even know (Y/N) had suspected she was pregnant. If she had known. Maybe she didn’t, or else she would have told him, right?”

“Can he see her now?” Polly asked, coming to Tommy’s side.

“Of course,” the doctor responded. “Go on in, Mr. Shelby.”

Tommy’s feet moved before his mind caught up with him. He found (Y/N) in her hospital bed, her eyes closed and the color slowly returning to her face.

He was almost afraid to touch her as he pulled a chair up next to her bed. She looked so fragile, like even a slight touch would cause her to shatter into pieces. He gently brushed her hair from her face, allowing his hand to linger against her face for a moment longer.

“I’m not worth this, love,” he whispered. “I deserved that bullet, not you. It was meant for me. I should be the one in this hospital bed.”

His hand moved from her face to her stomach, gently touching the spot where his child was growing inside of her.

“I didn’t even know. I continued to put your life in danger because of what I am, and because of that we almost lost our baby.”

With no one around to see him, Tommy let the tears freely run down his face.

~~~~~~

(Y/N) was unconscious for a total of three days. Tommy did not leave her side for a single moment. Each of his family came to visit their sister-in-law, and to make sure Tommy was okay. Polly often brought food for him, knowing he wouldn’t eat otherwise.

The doctors continued to give (Y/N) a shot that was meant to help give the baby nutrients to grow while (Y/N) was unconscious. Every time someone came in to give her the shot, Tommy just wished she would finally open her eyes again, that she’d finally be okay to grow the child on her own.

Ada was the last to visit, bringing a small bouquet of flowers with her for (Y/N).

“How is she?” Ada asked, taking a seat in the chair next to Tommy.

“The doctors say she’s stable,” Tommy responded. “They say it’s only a matter of time until she wakes up.”

“She’ll wake up soon,” Ada assured him. “She’s a fighter, remember? A real Shelby.”

This managed to make Tommy chuckle slightly, the first time in days that he showed even the slightest positive emotion.

“I suppose Polly has told the family our surprise announcement,” he said, his eyes trailing back to (Y/N)’s stomach again.

“Only me,” Ada responded. “She figured you two would want to tell everyone when (Y/N) wakes up, but she also knew you’d need someone while she’s still out. Someone who doesn’t have a cock between their legs.”

Tommy smiled slightly again. Polly always knew what he needed, what they all needed. For the woman who never birthed them, she was truly their mother through and through.

“I’m terrified, Ada,” Tommy admitted. “Not of having the baby, but that what I do - who I am - is going to put that baby in danger. I’ve known for years I’m putting (Y/N) in danger, but she’s always insisted she doesn’t mind. It was her choice to be a part of this family and this life, but that baby didn’t get to choose. We’re forcing him into a life of danger, all because of me.”

Ada put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, but she didn’t try to dispute him. Of course he was right, they all knew he was. Every Shelby man knew the risks of bringing a child into the world of the Peaky Blinders, even Ada knew when she gave birth to Karl. But for Tommy it was so much worse. Tommy wasn’t just a Shelby man, or just a member of the Peaky Blinders. He was their leader. He was the one with a massive target on his back constantly. He was the one their rivals would look to first to find a way to gain leverage over him - meaning they would look to (Y/N) and their baby first.

“I’m giving up this life, Ada,” Tommy said, the words coming out just as he made the decision in his head. “All of it, I’m giving it all up. The minute (Y/N) wakes up and is okay to leave the hospital, I’m taking her to the Garrison where we’ll announce she’s pregnant, and then I’m announcing my leave. Arthur can take over for me. Then, I’m taking (Y/N) as far away from Birmingham as I possibly can. Somewhere fit to raise our baby together.”

Ada was smiling at her brother. “I think that’s a perfect idea, Tommy.”

“Do you really mean it?”

The Shelby siblings looked over to see (Y/N) looking over at them, her eyes still blinking in an attempt to adjust to the bright hospital lighting.

Tommy jumped up from his seat and took (Y/N)’s face in his hands, kissing her face repeatedly. She giggled as he did so, before moving her head so he would kiss her lips. Ada stood as well, smiling down at her sister-in-law. “I’m glad you’re awake, (Y/N).”

“I’m glad you’re the first two I got to see,” (Y/N) responded. “Are those for me?”

“Yeah, I brought them,” Ada responded. “An assortment of your favorites. I figured this drab room needed something to brighten it up.”

(Y/N) smiled weakly. “Thank you, Ada. I really appreciate it.”

Ada gave (Y/N) a gentle hug before leaving her alone with Tommy. His touch was still gentle as he took her hand in his. She was still cold, but he was beginning to feel a slight warmth in her fingertips. It was almost like she was coming back to life all at once.

“I’m sorry I jumped in front of that bullet, Tommy,” she said. “Arthur tried to stop me from running into the building, but I knew what you were going to do and I just...I couldn’t let you...”

She trailed off, but Tommy knew what she meant; I couldn’t let the father of my child die.

“You have nothing to apologize for, love,” Tommy said. “I’m sorry I put you in danger, not just that time but all the times before as well. It’s not fair of me to keep doing this to you.”

“It’s your job, Tommy, and your family. I knew that when I married you.”

“But our baby didn’t know that when we created him.”

(Y/N)’s hand trailed to her stomach, the same way Tommy’s often had when he thought about the baby. “Is he okay?”

A smile tugged at the corners of Tommy’s lips. “It is a boy?”

(Y/N) smiled back at him. “Oh, I don’t know, but I have a feeling. Your mum had three Shelby men before she had one girl, and Ada and John have only had boys so far. I figure it only makes sense that we’ll have one, too.”

Tommy brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles.

“Did you mean it, Tommy?” she asked again. “About giving up the Peaky Blinders?”

“I meant every word I said,” Tommy responded. “I almost lost you, (Y/N), and I’m not risking that again. I’m not risking losing our child, either. This life was not meant for families, and it’s best to get out before we bring a little one of our own into this world.”

(Y/N) was practically glowing at this news. While she supported Tommy with whatever decision he made, she’d be lying if she said the thought of bringing a child into his world hadn’t scared her. To hear him come to the decision to get out all on his own made her heart feel warm and made her feel happy.

“I love you so much, Tommy,” she said.

“I love you, too, (Y/N). Rest again, love. When you are cleared, we have a lot to tell the family.”

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

Family Ties

Recovery was a long and tiring process. Kyojuro always struggled with it, having to rest and take the time to heal properly instead of helping with anything and everything he could. Shinobu had scolded him endlessly on why he couldn’t be messing around and trying to sneak out with his injuries, they were too severe for him to be acting like a child. He couldn’t help it though, his family was at home waiting for him. His beautiful baby girl and her adorable face, those tiny fingers and hands, the small tufts of blonde hair that she had. He only got to hold her once before Shinobu had him taken to the butterfly estate. He felt restless, knowing he couldn’t see his wife in her motherly glow, a glow that he only got to hold onto for a few minutes. It had been a full week since he was brought to the butterfly estate, confined to one of the rooms designated for the hashira, away from the chaos and yelling the rest of the estate contained.

“Rengoku, time for painkillers!” Shinobu fluttered into the room, a small packet of pills in one hand and a letter in the other. “Another love letter, I may have to start charging delivery between you two!” she flashed a smile, setting down the pills and handing Rengoku the letter. He tore it open quickly, not trying to save the envelope as he read over the letter his wife had penned.

My flame,

Hinata and I both miss you very much, her big eyes are always looking for something, I think it’s you. Shinobu says tomorrow if you keep behaving we can start visiting you. For the first time ever my flame, please relax. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out not seeing you. It’s cold at night, I find myself missing your company, your warm hands that are always wandering, holding onto me. Your chest, so warm and firm, I miss laying on it, listening to your heart. I miss hearing your voice, always so loud but so quiet when you only want me to hear what you are saying. It makes me feel so special. Hinata is the only one keeping me sane. She looks so much like you it's almost scary, but I won't lie. Nothing compares to you. I miss you. It's harder knowing you are so close but I can't see you or hear you, I can't even hold you. Please relax so I can come to see you, my love.

I love you to the sun and back,

Your flower

“Let me check your bandages and then I will let you know if they can come tomorrow” Kyojuro jumped at the sudden closeness of the insect Hashira, not quite used to the lack of peripherals on his left side. Setting the letter on the nightstand he scooted towards the edge of the large four-poster bed he had been resting in. Sitting as straight as he could without feeling pain, he raised his arms slightly, letting Shinobu unravel the bandages around his stomach. The wound had hindered most of his movements for the first few days in the estate but he had been getting better, small walks and even sitting in a chair had helped him regain some of that feeling of normal, even through the haze of the painkillers. He had decided not to bother struggling with a shirt, knowing it was too painful to go through the hassle when Shinobu came in every few hours to check the bandages. She mumbled small apologies as she unraveled the tape and gauze directly on the wound, trying to drown out the hisses of pain from Kyojuro.

"The staples are holding well, no tearing, no bleeding or abnormal discharge. You are healing as well as you could Kyojuro. I think it's safe to say you can see Y/N and Hinata tomorrow. But I will warn you now and later, Kyojuro. Do. Not. Exert. Yourself. I know you are excited and restless to spend time with your family and your new baby but if you hold her for too long and strain yourself I don't know if I have the knowledge to save you. You are lucky to be here now" Kyojuro understood her warning. He was beyond grateful to work alongside such a skilled and intelligent woman. The people she had trained to deal with life-threatening and fatal wounds like the one on his stomach have led to many lives saved that should have been lost, including his. He owed his life to her. He made a noise of agreement, trying not to move much while she laid a fresh bandage on the fist-sized wound his stomach sported. She was careful as she wrapped the gauze on his stomach, holding his bandage in place and stabilizing his torso so the quilts he was rolling around in didn't scratch him or remove his bandage.

"Tanjiro, inosuke, and Zenitsu have been asking about you. Do you think you feel well enough to see them?" Kyojuro perked up at the mention of the young slayers, their intervention of his fight with the upper 3 was another reason he was alive. He went straight to his estate after the battle, asking the Kakushi to assist him home once they stabilized him, not taking no for an answer. They only agreed once he tried crawling away from them, not bothering to listen. He didn't even explain his eagerness to get home so they deserve answers.

"Yes, is that their names? I would very much like to speak with them. Could they visit?" Shinobu chuckled at the excitement Kyojuro radiated as she threw the dirty bandages into the waste bin before turning back to the flame hashira.

"I'll have aoi bring them. She'll be coming soon with your tea and sweet potatoes. I don't know how you talked her into making your favorite snacks all the time but I think you may be her new favorite." With a smile she bowed, fluttering back out of the room as quick as she arrived.

Morning couldn’t come soon enough, having spent the rest of the afternoon focusing on what he wanted to do while he had the time with his wife and daughter, Kyojuro was distracted. The anticipation had made it hard for him to sleep, thoughts hounded by the idea of finally being able to hold the two most important people in his life. He was feeling strong enough to hold his daughter for more than a few minutes, he had willed his muscles to get better, trying to lift more and hold them for longer amounts of time. Just enough so Shinobu wouldn't yell at him and he could hold his baby girl. He couldn't hold back from the fact he missed his wife as well though, He had been away for a whole month, missing the final month of her pregnancy. When he received the letter from Shinobu, urgently written to tell of his wife giving birth, his heart sank, knowing he wasn’t any closer to going home. Now home had been within reach, and he couldn’t wait to close his fist around it and never let it go.

Kyojuro had adjusted the collar of his shirt for what seemed like the hundredth time, even though the shirt laid almost fully open, tucked into his hakama pants. He felt anxious at the arrival of his wife and daughter, ready to see them and spend all the time he could with them, but also, what if he messed up? This was only the second time he got to see his daughter, what if she didn’t like him or didn’t want to be held by him. His lack of full strength and the pain in his abdomen may be a hindrance to his quality time with his family. His thoughts were everywhere as he fiddled with his shirt and his hair, constantly adjusting everything, it had to be perfect for them. The door opening behind him pulled him from his downward spiral. Looking towards the door Kyojuro met the eyes of the person he had been missing, her reflection staring back at him through the mirror. Her yellow Kimono had been covered with one of his spare Haori, wrapped tightly over the sling on her chest, a gurgling baby nestled into her.

“Hi Handsome” She walked up to him, moving to stand in front of him as he turned to her. She stopped, eyes running over his face, the eyepatch he had been gifted from Shinobu, to cover his injury while it finished healing. The bruises on his temple had almost healed fully, and he was moving. It felt like she could breathe again, finally seeing with her own eyes that he was doing better. She trusted Shinobu with her life, but she felt so anxious not knowing exactly how Kyojuro was doing. He smiled down at her, His hands immediately finding their way to her hips, pulling her into his embrace. Tucking his head into her neck he breathed in, eliciting a giggle from the woman as she wiggled in his grasp. “You're tickling me, Kyo.” He chuckled, the rumble in his chest shaking their daughter who had begun to fuss, the squeals of joy quickly turning to sorrow. Kyojuro jumped away from his wife, her attention turning to their daughter as he looked on. Pulling her from the sling she had she cooed at her baby, softly bouncing her as she sobbed into her shoulder.

“Kyo” She looked at him as she moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down as she patted Hinata’s back. Kyojuro followed her, slowly seating himself next to his wife. He moved as carefully as he could, looking at his crying daughter's face as she wailed into her mother’s shoulder.

“Can I?” He hesitantly reached for Hinata, eyes looking at his wife for permission. With a smile on her face, she lifted Hinata, Allowing Kyokjuro to wrap his hands around her small body, cradling her in his arms so she was on her back.

“Hinata, My beautiful sun child. I’m sorry I shook you like that, Your mommy is so ticklish around her neck, I'm surprised she lets you lay there” He cooed, leaning closer to her face. “Sweet girl, daddies sorry” He rocked her, swaying back and forth, moving Y/N in the process. As they swayed he hummed a tune his mother would often hum. It had no words, but it always reminded him of the early morning, before the sun was fully in the sky, just poking itself over the horizon. He would be in bed, just waking for the day when his mother walked by, humming to herself as she went to the kitchen, getting ready to start breakfast. Her loud humming followed her to the kitchen, where the notes were accented with her chopping the fruits and vegetables to the beat. The cries quickly turned to hiccups. Hinata's round yellow eyes were still glossy with tears as she stared at her father, his tender gaze as he looked down at her, singing softly. Y/N stared at the two of them in awe, the child's enamored look as she listened to her father's melody, the soft song she had heard him humming as he sat in the gardens early in the morning. Motherhood was such a blessing and being able to witness a moment like this was even better. Chubby hands reached up, grabbing at the air as the song came to an end. Her fingers wrapped around nothing before they dropped back onto the blanket she was swaddled in, gripping onto the fabric.

“She’s so beautiful. I could look at her all day” He looked up at his wife briefly before he looked back at his daughter, a smile gracing his lips as he held her closer to him, snuggling into her.

“She really is something special, huh? From her cute little toes all the way to that golden hair. Kyojuro, I think we made the perfect child. Hinata, my sunshine.” Her mother cooed, running her fingers over the small tufts of blonde hair, smoothing it against her head.

“You know” He started, looking back up to Y/N. “I was scared for you to come today. As much as I wanted to see the two of you, What if it didn’t work? What if I wasn't strong enough to get her to stop crying, I would have left you to do it when you’ve been doing it for so long without help. What if I had no-”

“I’m going to stop you there Kyojuro. Shinobu was telling me how you’ve been healing, how you’ve been working. I wouldn’t let you take Hinata from me if I didn’t think that you could handle it. Also, my flame; look at her, look at you. Take a deep breath before you completely lose it.” She stopped, watching as he inhaled and released it, slowly letting out the breath. “Now. Kyojuro, it's scary, I know. I’ve been trying to figure this out almost entirely on my own, but luckily I had some really good advice and a bit of help. my love, I’m right here, we are going to figure this out together and I promise you right now, we aren’t going to be perfect. But look at her, she’s happy, and that’s all I can ask for. She knows you and she loves you, I love you, so incredibly much. Kyo, I was scared you wouldn’t make it, that once Shinobu took you away from me I wouldn’t be seeing you after that. I need you to be patient with this. You are doing so well already, you quieted her faster than I've been able to since she was born. Hinata and I will spend so much time with you once you are home, none of us will leave that bed until you are healed, I mean it.” She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his as he let out another long breath. “Everything will be fine my flame, don’t worry one bit. You are doing just fine with her.” Pulling away from her husband to sit on her heels she reached for Hinata, scooping her out of Kyojuro's arms. A small whine left Hinata's lips, her drooping eyes shooting open as she laid against her mother's shoulder. “Lay back against the pillow, I want to show you something” Kyojuro gave Y/N a puzzled look but did as he was told, moving to the head of the bed and laying flat on his back, head propped up on a pillow. Moving around the bed she stood next to Kyojuros still figure she smiled, moving Hinata so she was laying on his chest, her head instantly cuddling into the warmth his chest always radiated, a spot Y/N also liked to lay on. The lack of a shirt or a kimono on most of his chest created room for direct heat, Hinata own personal heated pillow. Kyojuro burst into giggles as his daughter quickly fell asleep against his chest, her quiet breaths becoming less frequent as she drifted to dreamland.

“She just fell asleep like that!?” it was Y/N’s turn to laugh as she climbed over her husband, laying down next to him.

“You are so warm, and she loves the warmth. When I light a fire at night, she always falls asleep so fast when I sit close to it, or when I bundle her in blankets. You are always so warm my flame, she obviously loves it” He chuckled again, running his fingers over the blanket that covered Hinata.

“Two women that like the heat, huh”

[novamirmirsblog]

Favourite crime pt 2

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word Count: 2936

Genre: angsty fluff? or fluffy angst 👀

Request: yes

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, slight coercion into sex (it doesn't happen tho)

Part 1 is here

A/n: The long awaited part two is officially here. I had lots of people who wanted the reader to move on, people who wanted them to get back together and people who wanted both. Thank you everyone for your INDECISIVENESS (kidding. ily). Also Emma was a randomly generated name - I'm sorry :3

Did I write this fic instead of sleeping? Yes. I have no regrets.

It had been a year since you moved back home. The seasons had come and gone and with that, so had your thoughts of Natasha. The same could not be said for the assassin. She had spent a blissful 3 months with Bruce before he had dropped off the face of the Earth and she was missing you. By the 5th month, she had stopped moping about and tried to find you. She searched everywhere but your town was large and unfamiliar and you didn’t want to be found.

Natasha both regretted what she had said and didn't. She regretted it because she realised just how much she adored you once she saw all the areas Bruce fell short in. You knew her better than she sometimes knew herself. You knew when to back off and when to put pressure on. You knew when she needed control and when you needed to take control. You knew when she wanted ice cream or when she wanted brownies. Bruce didn't. However, a part of her didn't regret those nasty things she said because she really didn't deserve you. You were everything she wasn’t, and she didn't know how to measure up to you.

She never voiced these concerns and so they festered and grew until she believed the only way out was to cheat. She knew that was the only thing that could drive you away. Natasha had told you all about her past, how she believed the Red Room had stripped her of her humanity – of her choice whether to become a mother. She knew there were other ways to have children - of course there were, but she hated the fact they had taken that option from her.

You were not like Natasha. You voiced your concerns which is why she knew exactly what to say and do to get you to hate her. Your previous boyfriend had cheated on you with your once best friend. You had watched as your father cheated on your mother and how that made her a hollow shell for a while, her never understanding why the man she loved could hurt her in that way. Supposedly, everyone models their future relationships on what their parents’ relationship looked like. Perhaps that’s why you kept choosing the cheaters. You were content with where you were. You had a forest, a busy town, and a beach all within a 15-mile radius of your house. You were far enough from civilisation that you could forget about reality for a while but close enough to occasionally dip back in whenever you wanted to.

You had kept in contact with Tony and Pepper, congratulating them on the arrival of Morgan and insisting that they should visit. You also continued to occasionally talk to Wanda when Carol was off world. Carol was overjoyed when she found out you had started dating someone new.

You had met Emma when you were taking a dip back into reality at the local supermarket. Her blonde hair vaguely reminded you of a woman you used to know, and you guessed that’s why you felt drawn to her. It wasn’t the electrical crackle that stole your breath away like your first meeting with Natasha, but it was something. Emma could occasionally be a little controlling, but you guessed that’s what normal relationships were like. She didn’t like you going to bars or pubs anymore and you certainly weren’t allowed in any clubs. You didn’t mind it too much as you hardly minded giving up a few nights out if it meant you could have something that resembled normalcy.

“Who’s that?” Emma asked, your face illuminated from your phone as the ding rang out.

“A friend. He’s bringing his wife and new baby over tomorrow and was reminding me to baby-proof the house.” You smiled lightly as you texted Tony back. You hadn’t mentioned to Emma that you were an ex-avenger, but it just kept slipping your mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is he? Where will he be staying?”

“I just forgot. Sorry. He’ll be staying here.”

“But you only have a single bed.”

“Yeah. I was planning to sleep on that and Tony, Pepper and the baby can stay in my room.”

“You mean our room.”

You said nothing, too engrossed in arguing with Tony about how under no circumstances will there be any celery in your house. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Our room, right Y/n?”

“Um yeah.” You wave her off was apparently your second mistake, but you didn’t multi-task too well and so half answers were all you were good for while texting.

“I have been your girlfriend for 3 months Y/n. The least you could do is answer me properly and tell me what’s going on in your life.” She huffed, pushing your feet from her lap, and turning to face away from you, all of which you missed. You really weren’t having that evil green vegetable in your house.

“Seriously, what is even so important that you’re ignoring me right now!” Emma’s voice cut through the fog, and you looked at her with a blank expression. It was times like these that you really missed Na- No. You refused to go there. You didn’t miss her. You were over her.

“No celery.”

Emma threw her hands up in the air. “You seriously don’t see what’s wrong, do you?”

“No.” You tilted your head, confused at what your girlfriend was talking about.

“Well, I’m not just going to tell you! Jesus. You should know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emma stood up in a huff, making a lot of noise while getting ready to leave.

“Okay – bye” Your attention was bought back to the phone when Tony sent you a cute video of Morgan crawling about, probably as a bribe to get you to buy celery. You stood, watching the video a few times before you shut off your phone, finally getting around to babyproofing your house.

~~~~~

Babyproofing a house was a lot more work than you originally thought. You had spent most the night picking sharp objects up from baby-height areas and making sure you hadn’t left any weapons about. All the guns taped under tables had to be relocated and you found enough change to set you up for retirement. You just hoped and prayed there were no small beads for Morgan to choke on. You didn’t even get around to putting soft corners on the edges of tables and counter tops, but you told yourself that it was survival of the fittest at that point. The whole endeavour had taken most the night which is how you found yourself with only an hour till Tony, Pepper and Morgan arrived.

There was a knock on the door, and you saw that you were 15 minutes late. Luckily your girlfriend had arrived half an hour before so you figured she could let them in. You shouted down, telling her to get the door as you finished putting on your socks.

“Hiya baby!” You cooed at Morgan babbling in Pepper’s arms, watching as her chubby hands reached for your hair, grabbing on with a crazy amount of strength. “Oh my god you’re strong. Pep, are you sure she’s Tony’s? I’m pretty sure she’s as strong as Thor.” You laughed, looking over at Tony. Your face dropped into careful neutrality as you saw the redhead standing behind him.

“Of course she’s mine doofus. We had multiple paternity tests.” Tony winked.

You didn’t know what to do. You weren’t ready. Your throat went dry as you asked if anyone wanted any drinks, your girlfriend waving them into the living room. You prepared the drinks, and you felt a presence behind you, wrapping their arms around your waist, their head resting on your back. You hated it. You felt suffocated. You took a breath and handed half the drinks to Emma, opting to grab a wine glass and fill it with the wine you had been saving for a special occasion. It might not have been a special occasion, but you needed something strong to get though the next few hours and you knew this would do the job.

You made your way back into the living room and Tony gestured to Emma “I don’t think we’ve met yet.”

“I’m Emma.”

“Tony. This is Pepper, Morgan and Natasha.” Your heart dropped at the mention of her name, realising that she wasn’t some cruel hallucination but was in fact standing in your living room.

“Sorry. I forgot to introduce you all.” You smiled and took another large swig from your glass.

“Hey how come you’re the only one with alcohol?”

“Because you’re a parent now.” You rolled your eyes at Tony, feeling Natasha stare holes into your face.

“So I need it even more!” Pepper hit Tony as he said that, causing Morgan to laugh.

“Don’t worry about Y/n getting drunk, she can handle her alcohol pretty well.”

“We know.” Natasha finally spoke. Her voice bought back floods of memories and you realised you missed her voice – just the tiniest amount. “Who exactly are you to Y/n?” To anyone else, the question was flippant, like asking about the weather but you, Tony and Pepper could all hear the carefully laced venom within her words and while the question sounded like it was aimed at your girlfriend, you could tell she was speaking to you.

“Where’s Bruce this fine day?” You shot back, not letting Emma speak.

“My question first.” Natasha finally turned her gaze to focus on you.

“Why are you here?” You felt Emma’s arm slither possessively around your waist. Perhaps if it had been another day, you would have appreciated it but right now, you felt like you were drowning. She held you too tight, you couldn’t move.

“Ah.” Natasha wore a smug look on her face and yet her eyes flashed with hurt. You hated that she had found out information you weren’t willing to give.

“Why are you here Agent Romanoff.” You wanted- no needed her to answer you. You needed to know why she came to you. Then you looked at Tony. “Why would you bring her here?” Your voice was level, Morgan was pulling at your leg to get you to pick her up. You used that as an excuse to escape your girlfriend’s grip.

“We need you back.”

“So you bring your baby to try and bribe me back?” You ran a hand through your hair, lightly bouncing Morgan. “That I can understand but why bring her?” You waved at Natasha, feeling both her and Emma’s eyes bore into you.

“She’s part of the team too and you both need to get on.” Pepper said.

“You were in on this too?” Your throat felt tight. You couldn’t breathe properly.

“I’m sorry but who exactly are you?” Emma asked. Natasha scoffed at her, folding her arms, and rolling her eyes.

Everything was a little too loud and muffled. It felt as if you were underwater. The sun was too bright, and it made everything a little too hard to look at. You could see your furniture, but it wouldn’t stay in your brain long enough for you to fully register it. You placed Morgan on the sofa and took a deep breath, closing your eyes to focus. When you opened them again you looked straight at Natasha.

“I am not going to play nice with you. You broke me and now that I’m moving on you suddenly decide to show up? No. I don’t believe it. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Leave me alone. Besides, I thought I was a ‘fun little distraction’.” You spat at Natasha. You were tired of being the bigger person. She had hurt you and you wanted to watch her bleed. It’s why you leant over and kissed Emma harshly, why you let out a slight moan so Natasha could hear. It didn’t matter that it was completely fake because even though you knew you should feel satisfaction at Natasha’s hurt face, the twinge of sadness upset you more than you would have liked.

Natasha knew the kiss was forced. She knew it was, but it didn’t stop the knife digging deeper into her heart. You had moved on and she had to respect that. She had said some awful things to you, and you really did deserve someone much better than her. You stormed out of the house, saying that you were going for a walk, leaving your girlfriend to entertain your guests.

~~~~~

It was dark by the time you got back. You saw Natasha on the sofa and ignored her as you walked straight to the guest bedroom. All you wanted to do was curl up and sleep this horrible day into the past but unfortunately for you, you had a girlfriend sitting on the bed.

“This bed isn’t big enough for-” Emma cut you off with a rough kiss. “Emma not now-”

“Yes now. I want to remind your ex what she’s missing.” Emma went back to kissing you and you wanted to cry. You didn’t like her possessiveness, didn’t like her jealousy. With Natasha that had been fun but with Emma, it made you feel afraid.

“Emma seriously.” You grabbed her wrist, not letting her reach into your underwear.

Emma huffed and stepped back. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m really tired. Can’t we just sleep?”

“It’s your ex, isn’t it? Why is she even here? I can’t believe you were going to just let her stay here and not tell me!”

“I didn’t know she was coming!” You were both stage whispering, conscious of the fact there was a baby that most likely didn’t sleep all that often.

“Then kick her out!”

You said nothing. You couldn’t just kick her out. That wouldn’t be fair.

“Oh my god you still love her. You still love her and she’s in love with someone else. Or she was. Ha.” Emma let out a bark of laughter. “That’s so fucking rich. You know what, crawl back to her but don’t come crying to me when she fucks you over again do you hear me?”

“Emma that’s not- I don’t love her anymore. I hate her. She ruined my life.”

“You truly hate her?” You nodded at her. “Supposedly, you can only truly hate someone if you loved them first. We’re done Y/n”

“Seriously?! What? Because I used to love Natasha? Because I don’t want to have sex with you? Grow up Emma. I’ve loved people before you and at this rate, I’ll love people after you too. I’m tired. I don’t have to have sex with you. You can’t make me.”

“I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to want to have sex with me!”

“Well not when I’ve had a long ass day!”

“Guys, I think you might wake Morgan.” You winced a little at the addition of Natasha. You knew this was going to end badly.

“This is my fucking house!” Emma said, not lowering her tone.

“Actually, it’s Y/n’s.” Natasha calmly stated. She really wasn’t going to rise to the bait.

Your girl- sorry- ex-girlfriend, fumed next to you. “You know what? Have her. She’s so screwed over from whatever you pulled that I don’t think she can love anyone ever again anyway.” Emma seethed, grabbing her shoes, and slamming the door on the way out. The sound of baby Morgan crying echoed through the house.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You ran your hand over your face, the exhaustion of the whole day catching up with you.

“No, it’s not. I betrayed your trust over the one thing I knew you couldn’t tolerate. I knew how hurtful cheating is to you and I did it anyway. I know it’s not an excuse, but I guess I just felt like you deserved someone more than me. Someone better.”

You said nothing. You were so so tired. You missed her and it ached, but you couldn’t forget what she had done. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I know but please let me try again. Bruce wasn’t worth it. He only made me realise how much I love you.” Tears were filling up Natasha’s beautiful eyes and you could see just how tired she looked.

“I missed you.” You whispered out, not wanting to break whatever was being formed

“I missed you too. So so much.”

“I can’t forgive you. Not yet, but…you can have one more chance Natasha. That’s it. You get one chance at my forgiveness.”

“Okay!” Natasha sniffled slightly “I promise I won’t mess this up.”

“I’m serious Natasha. One chance. I don’t play baseball. There are no three strikes.”

Natasha gingerly reached up to cup your face. “I won’t waste this.”

“Good because I never really stopped loving you and I’d hate to be a simp.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that dove.” Natasha let out a watery laugh.

“Excuse me?” You let out a fake gasp and wiped some of the tears from her cheeks.

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you a secret.” Natasha ushered you to lean closer and you did, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and whispered, “I’ve been whipped for you for as long as I can remember.”

You were looking forward to all the ways Natasha was going to make it up to you and hopefully, you’d get to give Bruce a good punch too. You both knew it was going to be a long road ahead but you both felt a little more ready for what lies next.

[roscgcld]

HEADCANON + VARIOUS || when their siblings are evil

request: Hello, I was kinda wondering how would Gojo, Itadori and megumi react to a their younger sibling being evil but she has a reason to being that way. [Headcanon] -

note: hmm - this one is really interesting! honestly i had never thought about their reactions if their younger siblings are evil! this was an entirely new idea to me, so i definitely enjoyed writing something like this

characters: gojo satoru, itadori yuji, fushiguro megumi

pronouns: she/her

GOJO SATORU

in this sense, I feel it’s not that shocking that if his younger sister joined forces with geto

if you weren’t born with the Six Eyes like your older brother, your clan will just treat you like a slave - like maki was treated when she was in the zen’in clan 

after years of abuse and being told that you were a mistake, and that you shouldn’t have been born, and that you were a waste of space - that might crack you and made you go insane

gojo might have known this might happen, and had tried to move you away from the path of evil - because i feel like he would be a good older brother and shower you in all the love you deserve

he’d shower you in love and respect, getting you new clothes even if your parents tell him not to, spoil you rotten and even training you to use your powers under the cover of darkness

but sometimes it just isn’t enough though, and the emotional wounds are just too deep to heal - and he gets that

feel like he might end up blaming himself - what kind of older brother can’t protect his own baby sister? how can he call himself ‘the strongest’ when he can’t even protect the one person that he was born to protect?

screw the world - he’s your older brother. he should have seen the signs and stopped you from doing what you do

at the same time, he knows the reason why you left - you were sick and tired of the higher ups and their backwards thinking

the elders of your clan, the elders of other clans, the higher ups who control the jujutsu world - you hate them all, and you strive for the change that gojo wants to do as well. but with how you’ve been put down your entire life, and how underdeveloped your skills are, you went the only route you know - a route that strays you away from all you’ve ever known

if anything, he’s sort of proud - since along the way, geto definitely takes you under his wing and teaches you to unlock all the potential of your power - which will be a huge slap to the face for the rest of the clan and the higher ups

feel like he doesn’t have it in him to really take you down if he needs to, since he can see through you no matter what - how you’re scared to be on the run, how you hate being away from your older brother, how you know that you have innocent blood on your hands

yet you can’t leave, you’re in too deep now. and if you return, who exactly is there to stop the higher ups from killing you like they so desperate want to for so long?  

he’d probably spare you out of all the sorcerers that the higher-ups have branded as traitors, because at the end of the day you’re still his baby sister

and no matter how twisted your views of getting to your goal has become, you two still strive for the same thing - and that is to rid the jujutsu world of people like them

plus, if he was being honest, he’d want to keep you around as a slap to the higher ups still lol; the biggest middle finger he can give to them is by keeping you alive for as long as possible

ITADORI YUJI

yuji, being the sunshine he is, would not have known why you decided to leave for the other side of the war

it wasn’t his fault - if anything, he was the best older brother to be around. he’s what people dreamed of when they think of having an older brother

he took care of you, make sure you and your grandfather was fed, made sure you didn’t need to worry about trivial things like money or when the pay the bills - you just focus on being happy and that’s all that he needs in return

feel like the reason why you left was more because of manipulation - if you can just grow stronger, you can protect yuji from getting executed. that you can make a better world for the both of you, that you two can one day live in a happy world where curses and sorcerers were far behind you

of course yuji will be upset - he doesn’t see the appeal of the other side, and always advocates for you to realise how geto and the other curses are using you for their own benefit 

why would you give up your freedom to fight on the other side?

he’d be conflicted - this was the little girl who he used to braid her hair and cook for every day, the girl who he brought up from young to become the headstrong woman you are today. his best friend and the only person he can truly rely on during the darkest of times

how can he put that aside and hunt you down like you’re a prized animal in a hunting competition?

he’d wonder if he was a good brother to you too as well - wondering if he wasn’t giving you enough attention growing up, not as good as he thought he was at splitting his time for you

it’d take a lot of convincing from his friends that it wasn’t his fault, that you were being manipulated into thinking that this was the only way you can turn to in order to help him

since neither of you were really sorcerers to begin with - being thrown into a world where power dictates how you are treated would push anyone into a corner 

he’d use that to probably train harder - to show you that you didn’t need to do the things you are doing to make sure he’s safe, that he can protect both you and him with ease

that you two can go back to how things were before all this

if you two ever meet in battle, i don’t think he’d be able to handle it - he’d be hesitate when it comes to hitting you with full power, since he didn’t want to kill you by accident

the last he needs is to have your death on his conscience

throughout the entire battle he might still try to convince you that it isn’t too late, that you can return back to jujutsu tech and learn from the best of the best, with a warm roof over your heads and friends you can really rely on 

he’d stand in the way between you and any curse that tries to take you out, making sure that if either of you are to continue living, it’d be you

he’d lay his life down for you, even though he knows you’ve taken many innocent ones while getting to where you are today 

he still has all the love of an older brother, and nothing people say or do will waiver the vow he took when he first held you in his arms - that he was going to protect you no matter what

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

with megumi, i can see why as well - you were abandoned at a young age, growing up watching your father working with all kinds of shady people

so it was natural for you to fall down the same path; since no one was really there to teach you right from wrong 

i feel like megumi might have tried, and he really did try to show you that going down the path your father did was not the best idea - but how much can he do as a young child?

he probably feels more guilty as time goes by - child or not, he was your older brother, he should have tried harder to show you where you could have put that skill

wouldn’t breath a word about your existence to anyone, not because he doesn’t want to be associated with you. it’s more so your name will not be as well known as geto suguru - that maybe, there was a chance that the higher-ups might overlook you and you can sneak back in without causing too much waves

but the entire time, he might harbour all the guilt from not trying hard enough as a child to convince you that going to jujutsu tech was the best way to get stronger and show the zen’in clan that your father wasn’t a ‘waste of an heir’

the first time his friends will even find out you were an actual person is when you would run into them whilst you’re on a job - kill a target your client gave to steal some documents that they view as valuable

you didn’t notice them until you felt someone staring at you, to which you turn to face the person - ready to threaten to scoop their eyeballs out

“oh, hi nii-chan.” you’d greet with a casual grin as he stared at you in shock, nobara and yuji looking between the both of you curiously. “didn’t think i’d see you ever again.”

yuji and nobara might talk to you like you’re a normal person, but they kept their guards up still - something you found amusing, but still answering their question truthfully 

megumi knew better - unfortunately you’re branded as an underground criminal, and if possible, any available sorcerer that bumps into you is to kill you before you accidentally reveal the existence of sorcerers and curses

however, no matter how hard he wills himself, he can’t do it - you’re still his flesh and blood. you may have chosen a path that’s different from his, but deep down you’re still living true to yourself

you’d glance over and see the conflict brewing in his eyes, to which you’d give him a soft smile before you lean over to grab his hand in his, causing him to snap his eyes up at you

“do what you think is right.”

with that you pulled away, and with another wave to the group, you melted into the crowd; somehow managing to disappear before their eyes

both his friends will be confused, looking around for you while he stared down at the hand you had grabbed, a slightly faraway look on his face

he’d probably realise that if anything, you’re living true to yourself and allowing yourself to fly so far ahead that you’ve slowly started to outshine any of them prior to this

and he’d feel weirdly proud, because you were still his baby sister, and you still achieved things that are worth being proud of 

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform

[cherrykindness]

one spoon for two |

first of all, i can't make my first post in english without thanking those who helped and encouraged me to make this decision. thank you for everything @waitimcomingtoo, @harryhoney-bee and @parkers-gal 🧡

summary: you and peter share spoons and sweatshirts and are “secretly” in love with each other.

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

warning: hi! english (obviously) is not my first language, so I ask for patience, im still learning <3

"Good morning." You said with a enviable morning good humor as soon as you arrived at the complex's kitchen, receiving distracted nods and murmurs from Bucky, Sam, and Natasha. Peter, on the other hand, received your greeting with equal enthusiasm.

"Good morning, Y/N." He replied anxiously, straightening the posture and removing his feet from the chair beside. "Do you want to sit here?" He asked quick and shyly, pretending not to notice Bucky and Sam narrowing their eyes across the table. "I-I mean, it's empty, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

You nodded, accepting the offer before sitting down next to the boy you used to call best friend, frowning as you noticed that your yogurt with granola was already prepared next to a spoon and a glass of milk.

"Did you do that?"

Peter agreed, feeling a warmth rise from his neck to his cheeks.

"Yes, I figured you would be tired after last night."

That answer was enough to capture the attention of the entire kitchen. Steve, who was walking through the door with an empty mug in hand, stopped as soon as he heard the phrase leave Peter's lips, widening his eyes as he struggled not to let the ceramic object hit the floor.

"What?" Bucky asked in astonishment, blinking rapidly as he looked away between you and Peter. "What did you guys do last night?"

You and Peter looked at each other in confusion, but before you could respond, Natasha pointed to your clothes.

"Is that Peter's sweatshirt?"

Steve's pressure seemed to have dropped at this very moment. With trembling hands and flushed cheeks, the soldier sat down on one of the chairs, hiding his face amidst inaudible murmurs.

"Tony already knows this?" Sam asked with his mouth full of cereal, looking at you both with disapproval.

"What should I know?"

Peter swallowed hard when he heard your father's voice, dreading the mischievous smile that grew on Bucky's face.

"That me and Pete spent the whole night watching Star Wars." You were quick to respond, causing Peter to let out a relieved sigh.

"So that's what the kids call it these days?" Steve whispered, looking more shocked by the minute. Natasha patted her friend on the back, offering consolation.

"The Spider-Baby said he made Y/N very tired last night." Bucky, playing the part of the devil on Peter's shoulder, repeated the sentence with slight alteration.

"I didn't say that." The boy with bright curls said in horror, shaking his head frantically as his face turned as red as fresh strawberries. "It wasn't like that, Mr. Stark."

"So explain it to me." Tony demanded with a serious face, crossing his arms over his chest.

The boy became an clumsy mess in a matter of seconds. Bucky, Sam and Natasha holding their own giggling as the comic moment unfolded.

"You don't have to say anything, Pete." You reassured him, understanding your father's intentions. "Let's get away from those perverts. We still have a lot to enjoy this weekend."

You stood up with Peter at your heels, leaving the kitchen under the watchful eyes of the Avengers. Everyone, except Steve, burst out laughing as soon as Tony made sure that you were no longer around, Sam having to wipe away a few tears that had escaped from the corner of his eyes.

"What?" Steve asked confused, staring at the others strangely. "What did I miss?"

"They are so oblivious." Natasha said with a smile, shaking her head negatively.

"It's kind of cute." Tony admitted, shaking his shoulders. "The boy is unable to make a move, however."

"What?" Steve voiced it for the third time in less than three minutes. "They-they- you know; Aren't you angry? Isn't that a move for you?"

"They did nothing, cap." Tony stated between a sigh. "They spent the night watching Star Wars just as Y/N said, believe me."

"But is painfully obvious the Spider-Boy is upside down for her." Sam stated, earning a nod from Tony, Bucky and Natasha. "He was already here when me and Bucky showed up in the morning. He was sitting at the table and Y/N's breakfast was also already prepared. I was about to sit next to him– and it was the first time I ever considered sitting next to that child, I swear, when he simply put his feet up on the empty chair, saying that he had severe cramps and needed space. When Y/N appeared at the door all smiling and wearing his college sweatshirt, puft, it seems that the boy went out of his mind, and the first thing he did was to offer the seat next to him."

"There was one day that Y/N needed to help Bruce in the lab and was without access to her cell phone for most of the day. Peter and I were working together on his suit, but the boy was picking up the cell phone every two minutes. He sent a message at 04:30 and Y/N didn't answer until at 08:47, so guess what? Peter answered at 08:48." Said Tony.

"The boy was whipped." Bucky uttered between a sip of coffee.

"He and Y/N were sharing a pot of strawberry ice cream during the last movie session." It was Natasha's turn to share a moment between you and Peter, attracting the attention of the men accompanying her, "but there was only one spoon for both."

There was a suggestive exchange of glances between her, Stark, Barnes and Wilson, broken by Rogers' timid and cautious voice.

"So the kids didn't do anything indecent?"

"Oh, for God's sake!" Tony rolled his eyes, leaving the room.

–

It was almost seven in the evening when Peter came into the kitchen again, now with a green mask on his face and a Hello Kitty's patch over his nose.

"What the fuck?" Bucky asked skeptically, almost spitting out the sandwich that was in his mouth.

"Y/N and I are going skin care tonight." Peter replied simply, going over to the refrigerator as everyone watched him intently.

"And what is that on your face?" Natasha asked the question everyone wanted while Peter grabbed a pot of ice cream from the freezer.

"Avocado mask. She saw in TikTok that it is good for the pores."

"So that was the fate of the avocado I bought to eat in the morning." Steve said regretfully. "It's okay, I can buy another one tomorrow."

"I have many questions, but I don't think any answer will answer them." Sam do a grimace before turning to the food laid out on the table.

"Peter, you should ask Y/N out on a date." Thor gave his opinion. "That's what you Midgardians call, right?"

Peter choked with the air as he heard the Thunder God's phrase, almost letting the pot of ice cream slide down the sink.

"W-we go to dates almost every day." He refuted with red face. "Tomorrow we will go to the supermarket. We can buy another avocado for you, Steve."

"But this is not the kind of date we are talking abo–" Natasha tried to explain, but Peter was already leaving the kitchen practically running.

"Bye, Y/N is waiting me to put cucumbers over the eyes."

"You got only one spoon!" The redhead screamed.

"It's enough!"

The Avengers present exchanged a look of recognition before Thor broke the silence, repeating the question Sam had asked that same morning:

"Tony already knows this?"

Everyone shook their shoulders simultaneously, Bruce being the only one to speak up verbally when silence filled the room.

"I'm sure he's already pulling some strings."

–

"Please, Tony, don't tell me that you are hiding to spying Peter and Y/N."

Tony peeked a bit between the leaves as he heard Pepper's harsh voice, putting the binoculars in the back pocket of his pants as covertly as possible.

"Spying?" He laughed exaggeratedly loudly. "Of course not, dear. This is absurd."

The woman eyed him suspiciously, reaching into her husband's pocket as soon as he hugged her.

"So can you start explaining to me the binoculars, the camouflage clothing, and the presence of a giant plant that was not in the hallway before?"

Tony walked away defeated, lowering his eyes at the judgmental look he was receiving.

"The word "spying" is too strong, okay? Let's say I was watching them without them knowing."

Pepper rolled her eyes.

"They are already adults, Tony. You should let them make their own decisions, and it is pretty obvious that they like each other. I know that the idea of Peter and Y/N dating may be strange to you, but–"

"Strange?" He almost shouted, lowering his voice when he noticed that the music that used to come from your room had stopped, now putting his camouflage skills at risk. "Baby, I love you, but you are crazy." He whispered. "Peter is the only boy who deserves to be with someone like Y/N, and all I have been doing for the past seven months is trying to get them to confess the feelings that everyone knows exist, but they seem too blind to see. So far I remain with the verdict that the boy is right for her and I hope don't change my mind anytime soon. They are my OTP."

"OTP?" Pepper asked confused by the slang.

"One True Pairing. Honey, you are so out of date."

"All right, I'm leaving."

Tony arched an eyebrow as he watched his wife walk away and take the binoculars, shrugging his shoulders before hiding behind the leaves again. He spent almost two hours there, but nothing interesting had happened, just you and Peter going back and forth from the kitchen with greasy foods and ice cream, a spoon for two as you shared whatever it was in the aisles, sometimes even taking it into each other's mouths, making Tony look away from those nauseatingly sweet scenes.

He had a story appointment with Morgan and his presence in the little girl's room at nine was a must. The plan affectionately called "Project Starker" had failed that day, and Tony had to accept defeat as he went to your room, expecting to find you and Peter sprawled out on the bed while some nerdy movie was playing on TV.

"Y/N? Peter?"

The room was dark, lit only by adjacent lights coming through the window. Tony stumbled over a few objects along the way, walking blindly through the furniture until he was near your bed.

"Can you even see each other here? God, how–"

Tony had to interrupt the sentence, surprised to see you and Peter snuggled up to each other, sleeping peacefully while a current series he didn't know the name of played on the TV at an almost inaudible volume. He shook his head in denial, holding back a smile before nudging Peter's waist, forging an angry timbre:

"Kid, you have a room here for a reason. What are you doing in my daughter's bed?"

Peter blinked a few times, completely lost and surprised by Tony's presence.

"Mr. Stark?" He asked stunned, trying to see Tony through the shadows. "Why are you here?"

Your father raised one of his eyebrows, aghast at the sudden boldness of the teenager before remembering the younger man's sleepwalking habits. Peter probably thought he was dreaming or some shit.

"Why are you here?" Tony returned the question, crossing his arms.

"Because I'm in love with Y/N and I want to sleep next to her."

Tony opened his mouth like a goldfish, cursing himself mentally for not recording that statement, shaking Peter's body when he started to close his eyes again.

"Aren't you going to your room?"

Peter mumbled something indecipherable, tightening his arms around your body as you continued to sleep heavily on his chest.

"No, thanks for the offer."

Tony nodded to nothing, deciding to just close your curtain and ask to Friday to turn off the TV.

"Thank you for doing Y/N too, Mr. Stark. I appreciate that."

Tony laughed softly, promising himself that he would tease the boy about it the next morning, “Go to sleep, kid. I'm sure no one will leave you alone tomorrow after I tell what you said."

Stark was about to leave when he noticed Peter's feet sticking out of the covers. The night was cold, and there was nothing but a thin comforter protecting the two of you.

"Just one blanket?" He asked.

"Yes." Peter kind of whispered, pulling you closer. "It's enough."

This time Tony didn't hold back his smile, shaking his head before closing the door, leaving you and Peter in that little bubble of teenage passion.

"Point for you, Spider-Boy."

[holylulusworld]

A family man

Summary: What happens when Steve is not happy with his decisions?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader, Sam x Reader (platonic), Bucky x Reader (platonic)

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton

Warnings: angst, language, pregnant reader, heartbreak, abandonment, Daddy!Steve, angry Sam (yes, he can get angry too), Sam & Bucky being good friends, fluff

Catch up here: 

Part 1 - No, you won’t Part 2 - Some kind of love

Divider by @writeyourmindaway​

“Goodbye, Steve Grant Rogers, my love, my heart, my everything…”

It’s a new beginning for you. You left your old life behind to start a new one.

When you sit on your front porch, watching the sunset you run one hand over your belly. “Only four months left, baby girl,” you whisper holding back the tears. “One day I’ll tell you about your father, the hero who saved the world more than once.”

“Y/N,” Sam watches you stare into the distance as you do so often lately. “We should talk about a few things. Bucky and I need to tell you something.”

“You’re going to marry,” you tease, giving Sam a wink. “We all know it’s a matter of time,” Sam sits next to you, laughing at your words. “You’re a good team.”

“A great one,” Sam exclaims. He slings one arm around your shoulders to offer comfort. “Buck and I will be on a mission for two or three weeks. Wanda will come around and check on you to make sure you’ve got all you need.”

“I’m a grown woman, you know,” Bucky nods, still, he’s worried to leave you alone. It’s the first time since Steve left that he and Sam can’t be around. “I depended on you way too long. We are friends, and I appreciate all you have done for me as Steve…,” your voice cracks and you need to wipe a few tears away.

“Nothing will change, doll. Sam and I will come around as often as we can. While we are away, Wanda will take over,” Bucky smirks when you roll your eyes. “Don’t talk back, Y/N. We are family, this means we will suffocate you with love…”

The moment Steve stepped onto the platform and didn’t see you he knew; just knew he made the wrong decision. 

Whilst the quantum realm particles sent him back in time, all he could think about was the sadness in your eyes when you stood your ground against him.

Steve knew you played a role. He knew that you cried yourself to sleep that night, but he didn’t find it in him to crawl back to you.

Instead, he stepped onto the platform the next day, straightened his back, and looked his friends straight in the eyes.

Sam held his gaze but Bucky, well Steve’s oldest friend, the one he promised ‘till the end of the line’, looked away.

The world he found on the other side of time isn’t the one he wanted to live in, but Steve had no other choice – right? He burned all the bridges days ago, lost the woman who always loved him unconditionally for a dream.

“I can’t stay, Peggy,” Steve tried for six months to adapt to a life with Peggy, but he soon realized, there is no love on both ends. 

Steve stuffs his hands into the pockets of his suit, shuffling on his feet as he feels something dig into the palm of his hand. Waking up to reality is cold, hard, and heartbreaking. Even worse when you find a positive pregnancy test in the pocket of your suit. 

With shaking fingers Steve looks at the test in his hands, choking out a sob.

“How?” he whispers, wishing he never left you. “Doll—oh god, no. You’re all alone, my love.”

Steve doesn’t know Bucky hid the test he stole from your bin to make his best friend see – someone is relying on him. 

“You’ve got to go, Steven,” Peggy whispers, gently cupping Steve’s cheek. “I know you believed we belong together, I did so too. But,” Steve gives Peggy a cracked smile, nodding silently. “If she’s with your child, you can’t leave her, Steve. You should’ve never left her for me.”

“I know, Peggy. I was a fool believing that I belong anywhere but by her side. I want to be a father,” Steve chokes out. “I still got time left.”

“Where do you want me to put this?” Wanda watches you place a picture frame onto one of the shelves at the nursery. “That’s one of Steve and you,” she whispers, not missing your pained expression.

“He’s her father, Wanda,” you swallow the lump in your throat, looking at a framed ultrasound picture. “One day my baby girl will ask me about her father, and I want her to know about him. He left me, not her. I was not enough, not my girl.”

“Y/N don’t say things like that,” Wanda watches you place another picture frame onto the shelf you nod, knowing it’s the ugly truth. “Steve didn’t know what he got when he had it.”

“Do you think I should get a dog?” you look around the room, watching Wanda hold back the words stuck on the back of her tongue. “Don’t, Wanda. I know you want to assure me I was enough, but I wasn’t. If not, Steve would be here.”

“A dog would be great. I always wanted to have one,” Wanda smiles when you tell her you grew up with dogs. “Aw, I’m jealous, Y/N.”

“Don’t be,” you laugh. “Most of the time they chased after me and stole my food,” you grin, remembering your dogs. 

“Fuck,” Clint snickers at Sam’s outburst. “You’ve got to be shitting me, Steve! You left! Six months ago, you left your girl and now you are back in town and ask me about her whereabouts!”

“Sam let Steve explain why he’s back,” Bucky eyes his friend warily, knowing he must’ve found the pregnancy test. “Why did you come back, Stevie?”

“I regretted my decision the moment I heard Y/N close the door behind her. I was just too stubborn to admit that I can’t be without her,” Steve huffs. “I tried to make things work with Peggy but had to admit, she’s not the woman on my mind.”

“Great for you,” Sam is not amused. “I mean, you left Y/N six months ago for another woman. Now you come back here and intend to do what?”

“Get my girl back and raise my child with her,” Steve puffs his chest when he gets the pregnancy test out of his pocket. “Something tells me that a friend wanted me to know I am going to be a father.”

“It was for sure not me,” storming out of the room Sam slams the door shut. “Y/N deserves better…”

“You must understand, it was Sam helping Y/N to keep ongoing. He was the one driving her to the first ultrasound as I was away on yet another mission. Sam was the one seeing your baby first,” Bucky huffs. “I thought you would find the test before you leave. I had hoped you would change your mind not come back months later…”

“I had to give Peggy and me a chance, Buck,” Steve doesn’t believe his own words. “Shit, no. Maybe I was just afraid to come back and find Y/N in another man’s arms. I didn’t think that she’s pregnant with my child.”

“I mean,” Bucky huffs. “You are adults, had sex, unprotected if I recall right according to your naughty confessions and you wonder she got pregnant?”

“That’s not what I mean, Bucky…”

“I like the colors,” Sam looks around your almost finished nursery. Wanda did a great job,” you nod, looking at the kittens Wanda painted on one of the walls. “The kittens are cute.”

“Wanda’s idea. The tree and the family were my ideas,” you painted a family of bears under a tree. They are having a picnic. Sam smiles when he sees a ladybug sits on the little bear's nose. “What do you think Sam?”

“Hmm…” you watch Sam nervously chewing on his lower lip, not meeting your gaze. He seems to hide something from you. “We need to talk, Y/N.”

“Is it Bucky? Did he get hurt? Or one of the others? Sam?” Wanda’s eyes widen and she grasps for your hand when Sam tries to tell you Steve is back. “Sam, just tell me what’s going on.”

“He’s back,” Sam chokes out. You blink a few times in confusion, look at Sam for confirmation before your legs are about to give in. “Shit, Y/N.” Sam catches your fall before you can hit the floor. “Wanda, a chair and a glass of water.”

“Y/N, no…”

“Is this a joke, Sam? This isn’t funny, you know,” you sniffle. Wanda offers you a glass of water whilst Sam tries to calm you. “I finally adapted to a life without Steve. He can’t just come around after he lived a life with Peggy to check on me. I don’t want to see the ‘old’ Steve.”

“That’s not what I meant, Y/N,” Sam kneels next to you, gently squeezing your right hand. He looks up at you, giving you a soft smile. “He came back.”

“I don’t understand, Sam. Why would he come back? It’s not as if anything he wants waits in our time. Peggy is centuries away, just like the other Bucky,” Wanda watches you slump into yourself, not wanting anyone to see you are still  heartbroken. “What does he want?”

“I am afraid he wants you,” Sam whispers, hand gently holding yours. “I told him to fuck off or something.” you laugh, squeezing Sam’s hand. He barely curses but if he does, Sam looks adorable. “I mean it, Y/N. You don’t have to see him.”

“Doll,” Steve sighs when you don’t open the door. Sam and Wanda guarded your house like hawks, didn’t let Steve get even close to your new home for over a week. 

Today, Sam had to go on a mission and Wanda went for a grocery run so Steve took the opportunity and sneaked toward your house the moment Wanda left.

“Please, baby girl. I…I need to talk to you.”

“Why?” weakly you press the palms of your hands against the door. “I tried to move on and almost didn’t break down anymore only for you to come here and ruin my life once again.”

“Y/N, please. I know I fucked up, okay. Leaving you for a woman I barely knew was cruel, stupid, and the worst thing I ever did in my life. Please, let me at least see your face,” Steve begs, knocking at your door. “Please, doll.”

“You don’t deserve to see me,” you choke on your words when you turn your back toward the door, resting your back against the cool wood. “I don’t know why you came here, Steve. I am not enough…never was.”

“No, Y/N. I was never enough. I am a weak and pathetic coward, doll. It was me not deserving you but, please open the door,” your hands shake when you turn around to unlock the door. You take a deep breath before you face the man leaving you behind.

“What do you want, Steve? I don’t think there is anything I can offer,” you shriek when Steve kneels to wrap his arms around your waist. He peppers soft kisses to your swollen belly, sniffling your name repeatedly. “Steve…”

“Sam didn’t let me come here. Wanda was the same,” he pants, face nuzzling your belly. “Please, I want to be a better man for you. I will give the shield to Sam. From now on I’ll do anything to be the man you deserve. I want to be a family man,” you don’t know what to do as Steve is too strong for you to fend him off.

“Why now? When you left you were sure that you want to spend your life with Peggy, not me,” you sniffle, wiping a few tears off your cheeks. “Is it because you got to know I’m pregnant? Does Captain America feel responsible for the poor girl he impregnated? Is it your guilty conscience telling you to come here and take care of the disposed of girl you left behind?”

“Oh-Y/N,” Steve sighs, finally looking up at you. “I should have never left you, doll. I hurt you so deeply that you believe you never meant the world to me. I am so sorry, baby girl,” he whispers, getting up to wrap his arms around you.

Steve buries his face into your hair, inhales your scent deeply. He runs one hand over your back to soothe you when you start to cry. 

“I love you so much, doll. How can I explain to you that I don’t know why I left you for Peggy? I don’t know how I could do so, but I regretted my decision the moment you closed the door behind you. I should’ve stayed but I was too blinded by my past to see my present.”

“You will leave again,” sobbing you hide your face in Steve’s chest. I was at my apartment a few days ago. I couldn’t forget about the shirt on the floor and your pillow. I…I sleep with your pillow to smell your cologne.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve’s heart breaks when you start to shake in his arms. “I hate myself for hurting you. I swear, I left to come here before I even knew you are pregnant. I told Peggy we will never work out. I never had sex with her.”

“Steve,” Sam storms into the house, Wanda, and Bucky hot on his heels as you hold tight onto Steve for dear life. “I told you to leave Y/N alone! Can you not for once think about someone else than yourself?”

“Sam,” Bucky places one hand onto Sam’s shoulder to calm his friend. “Look,” Bucky whispers, pointing toward you in Steve’s arms. “Let them talk things out. We can still kick Steve out when Y/N tells us so. It’s on her to decide if she wants to give him a second chance or not…”

Five years later...

“Daddy, daddy!” your daughter runs after Bucky, laughing as he acts as if he’s scared. “Look, I hunt Uncle Bucky and he’s scared,” Steve laughs watching Natasha Sofia run after his friend. “I bet I can catch Uncle Sammy too.”

“I know you can, sweetheart,” you smile, watching your five-year-old daughter chase after your friends. Sam runs slower to make sure Natasha can catch him, faking he’s too slow to run away. “Just don’t stumble again, Nat.”

“I won’t mommy! Daddy showed me how to run faster than Uncle Sam,” Sam makes a face, looking at Steve. “To your left, Uncle Sammy…” Natasha squeals, finally catching up with Sam.

“How do you feel, doll?” Steve runs one hand over your huge belly, humming as you close your eyes to enjoy his touch.

“How are Sam jr. and Bucky jr.?” Bucky asks. “Can we finally decide on a name? “Maybe we can name both after me.”

“I want one to wear my name,” Sam interjects. “Now let Y/N rest a bit before she agrees to name both after me.”

“Hey! I never agreed to name my boys after one of you,” pointing toward both men you narrow your eyes. 

“We can make more and name them after our friends,” grinning Steve looks at you, something dirty in mind. “Just saying, we can always have more kids.”

“You’re lucky if I ever let you touch me again.” you huff. “I got one daughter chasing after our friends. A baby boy sleeping in his crib and two baby boys in my belly.”

“Doll,” your husband grins, hands running over your baby bump again. “I can’t help myself; I love seeing you full of my babies.” Steve whispers something dirty into your ear, making you giggle. “I’ll check on Steve jr. and you can sit here to enjoy our baby girl’s birthday and I’ll be right back.”

Watching Steve walk into your house you smile. Over the last five years, he showed you that he deserved a second chance. 

The first months after he came back were difficult to you. You needed time to adjust to life with Steve being around again. 

“He changed for you,” Bucky bounces your daughter on his leg, smiling as his friend carries your baby boy out of the house, smiling widely. 

“I know. He became a family man for me…”

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[wyn-n-tonic]

Golden, Like Daylight -- Part I

Word Count: 1,314 Warnings: PTSD. Drug use. As always, if I forgot anything, please message me and I will amend this warning ASAP. Note: In my head canon, Frankie has a daughter, I write a bit about this. I understand talking about babies can be triggering or people just don't like kids but it feels weird to say, "Warning: Baby." Feels a bit ominous. Like, it's not a vampire but just... ya know... be warned. Updated Author's Note (5.7.21): This is not a reader insert. At the time of writing this, I wasn't comfortable writing in the second person nor did I feel as though it was appropriate for what I wanted to explore in this series. This series is my absolute baby and it means so much to me. Thank you for reading. 

MASTERLIST | PART: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX

It comes like lightning in the night, cracking through the tree of his spine heavy with years of hurt.

The first time he was tear gassed in the chambers at boot camp.

That time he crashed the chopper, losing twenty-something men all twenty-something years old. Men… they weren’t men. They were babies, he was a baby.

He remembers the time he had a panic attack in the jungle, squeezing involuntarily on… a kid, not the target.

He remembers the woman’s wail, “¡Mi hijo! ¡Mi bebé!”

My son! My baby!

He killed her baby.

“I killed the baby!” He’s up but his heart’s somewhere else, outside his body. It’s beating so fast he can’t even feel it anymore, not sure if he feels anything anymore and then—

Cool hands on his feverish back, he’s so hot she feels like ice and he sighs contentedly. Marrying the coldest girl in all of Texas had its perks. Her fingers wind into his too long curls at the base of his neck, her lips on his shoulder as she shushes him with a kiss.

“Come back to me, Francisco, you’re safe.”

“But I—“ he’s stuttering. Fuck.

“It wasn’t your fault,” her arms curl around his chest and she’s scooting closer to him now, pulling him into her as hard as she can, “None of it was your fault, it’s okay.”

“How can you say that?” The tears come like wildfire as he chokes out, “How can you hold me like this? Like I’m not a monster?”

Her arms pull tighter against his torso, he didn’t know that was possible. He doesn’t know how this is possible, how he deserved this. This woman, this love, this family she had made for him.

“Baby, listen to me,” her voice is hard and warm, honeyed whiskey to his aching ears. Splintered mind. Broken body.

He nods his head in the dark, whispering a soft, “Yes,” around a lump like coal burning through his neck.

“You are not a monster. The things you did, the things you saw, the horror that was inflicted upon you was not your choice. When you put the flag on your shoulder, Francisco Morales, you gave up autonomy in your decisions. You represented men who played chess with your life and you made it out. You made it out and they threw you away when you needed them the most but I’m not going to. Our daughter is not going to. You are not a monster, baby, and we will get through this together.”

“Luna,” he breathes. His girl, his perfect little girl, “Where is she? Is she okay?” He’s still panicked.

“She's in her crib, baby,” her lips press softly to his shoulder again, “Do you want to go see her? Wanna go make sure she’s okay with me?”

He’s nodding again, untangling fingers from hers to swipe at his cheeks quickly. Afraid, every day, that this tear or that will be the one that changes her mind, changes her heart.

She lifts herself, holding steady to his shaking body the whole time. As if he’s the rock that the storm of her life batters against and not the other way around. Her hands find his and she’s lifting him too. His balance is unreliable, he never lets her go, trailing along the hallway to the baby’s room.

It’s quiet, peaceful. His happiest place, painted like a sunrise. He wanted it that way, clouds around her cradle, his baby growing up in the heavens. He remembers the first time he ever went up there, like it was the first breath he ever took. All rising pinks and melting blues.

He wanted her to feel that freedom from the very beginning. —————

He was so fucking scared when she came into this world.

He was afraid of marring her innocence with his past. He didn’t want his traumas to manifest upon her upbringing, the way his father’s had his.

That first cry shattered his heart but when she wrapped her tiny hand around his finger, he was whole again.

They named her Luna, because he could always find the moon above the clouds. Could always find his way home.

That’s when he started using again. His fear of fatherhood choke holding him, undoing all his hard work. His therapy, his group therapy, his NarcAnon. He promised himself it would just be once.

Just to get through the day, Frankie.

And it turned into…

The week.

The month.

Six.

Next thing he knew, he was flying high and fucking up. Nose bleeds and slurred words, too fast movements and too fast reactions. He was randomly selected for a drug test.

His license was suspended. He was grounded, under review pending cleanliness of a piss test.

That’s when Leah snapped. His patient, strong wife. She’d said things here and there about his use. Argued about money, “Where's it going, Francisco?” The name she uses when she’s calling him back to her, pulling him into her or, like now, close to killing him. Eyes wide with anger and fear at watching her family fall apart because of the actions of one man.

“I'm not going to beg you to get clean. I am telling you,” the tears streaking down her face, voice raw with contained rage bubbling to the surface, “You were able to do it by yourself once, so get your shit together. Or I swear to god, Francisco Morales, I will walk out that door.”

His eyes haven’t left hers the whole time and he knows she’s serious. She promised she wouldn’t leave a man actively working against his ghosts, she’s soothed more sleepless nights than anybody should’ve, but she never promised to stay through active drug addiction. Could not. Would not bring her daughter up in a home dusted in white powder.

He nods, “okay,” lifting his hat from his head and he is pouring buckets. He’s coming down from earlier but he knows he’s gonna need more soon. And another after that. So on and so on until—

He sees the door slamming on an empty home, shocked still with the future his actions will lead him to.

“I’ll find a meeting tomorrow.”

Her glare bores deep, “you’ll find a meeting today, Frankie.”

He bites his lip, not daring ask for another hit to get through til then.

“Francisco!”

The world comes back into focus. How long had he been staring at everything and nothing? His eyes find hers again and his voice is weak as he says, “My stash is in the box with my dog tags and medals, my first pilot’s license.”

“I know.”

He’s nodding again, of course she does.

“The withdrawals are going to start soon, how should we handle this?”

She crosses her arms, pain stitched through every feature of her face, “I think you should stay with Benny and Will for a while. Until you’re clean.”

So he did.

One week goes by and he sweats with a restlessness he’s sure will bust the very seams of his being.

Two weeks and all he wants is sleep, even with the nightmares.

Three weeks and, Jesus fuck, he’s hungry.

Four weeks and the depression sets in, deeper than he’s experienced since he first started getting help back in civilian life.

Five weeks and he’s… not cold anymore. He doesn’t sweat. He doesn’t feel anything, he can’t concentrate on anything.

Can’t focus on Benny’s shitty fight lessons. Doesn’t even listen when Will practices that fucking speech like he hasn’t given it a million times already; to cadets, to soldiers, to the mirror. The only things he can think about, the only things he cares about, are still too far away.

Leah, Luna, the sky.

He needs all three to be whole.

To be Frankie.

A desperate man aching to be complete and to provide again.

That’s how Santiago Garcia found him.

TAG LIST: @greeneyedblondie44​ @justanotherblonde23​ 

[world-of-aus]

A Maiden’s Tale - 8

Warnings: fluff, angst, & MORE ANGST.

A/n: I give you all hope, but then i diminish that hope, that is all. Happy Readings Angels. Two more chapters before this baby wraps up! Chubby!Bucky coming this weekend!

All Other Work Can Be Found On My Masterlist In My Bio.

Bucky fought with himself to pull away from you finding it hard to part when he had already gotten a taste of you.

He watched as you stepped back and away bringing a hand to your mouth, your fingers running over your lips where his had once been.

He can see the worry, the concern, and he wants to reach out and tell you there’s no need for that, he wants to take those feelings away. “I don’t regret doing that y/n,” your eyes meet his, “I meant every word I said,” he adds, “to hell with them both, it’s my turn to be happy, and my happiness has always been with you, every time I needed an escape from this life, I found it with you, and I want to keep finding it with you.”

Your heart aches in your chest, the pain evident in your eyes as you stare into the ocean greys before you, “bucky, your mother will never let this happen, come hell or high waters your mother will never let us see the day that it can just be you and I.”

“so, then we don’t tell her, we don’t tell anyone.”

You shake your head, “what type of life is that James, a life where you have to run, run to hide the one you love?”

Bucky closes the distance between the two of you, “y/n, the only ones that matter are you and I, I'm not running, not hiding from anything or anyone as long as I have you, and that’s all I'll need, it's  all I've ever needed.”

You shake your head, hands falling to his chest as he pulls you close, “you’re serious about this aren’t you?”

His hand cups your cheek bringing your eyes back to his, “you want to know how I'd be living life if it wasn’t my parent's decision to make, how I'd live it if I wasn’t handed down the name of the family business?”

You look at him expectantly, “I'd be off somewhere far,” he starts, “there would be land all around the cottage not another house in sight, just a vast number of acres and trees.” A smile tugs at your lips, “there’d be animals, and a garden and – and there’d be you.”

You tried to hold back the audible gasp but it was to no avail, “bucky you don’t mean -”

“of course I do, of course I mean all of it, like you said sweetheart I've known you since I was five,” he answered, “yeah, we might have had a few years taken away from us, but it's like nothing ever changed, it's like you were never gone and I was never away.”

“Bucky you can’t actually believe that they will let this happen, that your mother and Dolores will let this happen.”

“no one would know,” he answers, “I could get us set up, get us a place, and have it all taken care of without them batting an eye, give me a week, two weeks tops and I'll have it all set up for us,” he takes your head in his warm hands, “run away with me,” he laughs, “as cliché as it sounds sweetheart, run away with me, it wouldn’t be right living my dream if you weren’t in it.”

The nagging feeling that this wouldn’t work out ate away at you, you knew Winnifred would stop at nothing, nothing to make sure her son and you never found happiness within one another, and Bucky could read you like a damn book, his favorite book.

“don’t worry about ma, you leave all of that to me, I just want you to be ready, I just need to know that you’ll go, that’s all I need from you.”

“You really want this, would really do all this with me?”

A smile kisses the corner of his mouth, “there’s no one else I'd rather do this with, whaddya say sweetheart?”

“two weeks?”

His smile grows, head knocking against yours as he steals your breath away with another kiss, “Just two weeks sugar, and I'll take us both away from here.”

“And you’re sure you saw correctly, that you heard James correctly?”

Dolores gave a pitiful sniffle as she wiped under her eyes, “he told her he was planning on whisking the two of them away, he sent us both to hell saying that he was finally going to do something about his happiness, said it was time he put himself first, ” she cried, crumbling in on herself.

Winnifred cursed under her breath as she moved over to her future daughter in law, “wipe those tears sweetheart, James will not get away with this, she will not get away with this, we will not be made to look like a pair of fools, you and James are to be married, there is no other way, he has no other choice!”

“But what are we to do,” Dolores questioned, “George set her up as his right hand, he wouldn’t hear of it if you tried to rank her down, it is his line of business, he knows the ins and outs of it more than you do.”

Winnie held Dolores closer, though she should have held the petite woman at arm's length after the phone call she had just made in regards to her son an hour prior.

“you leave that worry to me sweetheart, I’ll set those two straight, don’t you worry, and if George so much as tries to get in the way he will be handled as well, I will not be made a fool of.”

Dolores continues to feign her innocence as she crumbled in on her mother-in-law, holding on to her as Winnifred rubbed comfortingly at her back.

“wipe those tears dear, this will be taken care of,” Winnifred hushed.

Dolores fingers curled into the sides of her mother-in-law, oh it would, the problem would definitely be taken care of alright.

She is to be wed to James Buchanan Barnes, she is to live the life she deserves, a life of riches, and Rumlow would see to it that she would.

Bucky had everything planned out for the two of you, while he still had to keep you at a distance so as to not give anything away, he was doing as much as he could when he was out for the two of you, getting everything ready for this new start. And each time he stepped out without the eyes of his mother, or Dolores watching him, he felt whole, he felt giddy, he felt like life was finally coming together for him.  

He felt like nothing could possibly go wrong the closer he got to the two-week mark.

“and you’re sure that she’s going to be in that car?”

Dolores rolled her eyes, as she peeked out the office blinds, keeping a watchful eye out for her fiancés return, “James is sending her in his place to meet with the heads supposedly, but I'm telling you that’s likely the plan of escape, we’ll probably never hear of him again once she loads that car, it’ll be two weeks since I last contacted you, it has to be tomorrow when it happens.”

Rumlow lets out a low grunt on the other line, “Listen Dot, you better be right about this because do you know what it's going to look like if I take out the wrong person, I need you to make sure,” he hisses, “I don’t need the boss on my tail if shit goes sideways, because you know this isn’t going to end well for you, Pierce is one of those heads!”

“Listen I called you for a job, I didn’t call you to be lectured, or threatened for that matter, now I know what I heard because I was there Rumlow, James plans on sending her to meet with the heads, because apparently he has another meeting that can’t be missed to attend, nothing has changed that I've been advised of so just do what you’re asked and make it seem like an accident.”

“You better be right, or its your head I'm coming after,” he grunts before the line goes silent.

Dolores is placing the phone back on the receiver at the same time that the sleek black car that’s carrying her fiancé pulls up.

She watches through the slit in the curtain as he clambers out of the vehicle, a white-hot surge of anger following as she sees you slide out after him. Her jaw clenches something fierce when she seems him pull you in close, a very chaste kiss pressed to the side of your head before he’s moving before you, your eyes looking after him as you wait for him to likely enter the house.

“bitch,” she finds herself muttering as she moves away from the desk to busy herself with something else, she can’t give away that she knows, can’t give away just how badly she wants to take care of you herself, you would get what was coming to you tomorrow.

Come tomorrow you would no longer be a thorn to her side, you would no longer be a concern or worry for James, his life would continue for all you were concerned.

Feigning innocence something Dolores did well, she met the opening door with wide eyes as her fiancé slid in through the French doors.

His eyes meet hers, and there’s no brightness there like when she catches him looking at you, and that only makes the anger burn brighter, as she pulls on a bright smile.

“how was the meeting with your father,” she finds herself questioning.

“long and boring,” he answers crossing the space to place a brief kiss to the side of her head like he had with you, “did you get around to anything while I was out,” he questions as he takes a seat at the desk.

Dolores shakes her head as she goes back to looking over the books on the large shelf of the wall, “just made an important call, but nothing too special, have there been any changes made to the agenda for tomorrow?”

Bucky’s eyes meet her back, “no sweetheart nothing has changed, why did something come up that I need to put in the schedule?”

Her eyes meet Bucky’s over her shoulder’s a small yet almost sinister smile tugging at her lips, “no, nothing just wanted to make sure everything was still going according to plan.”  

Bucky raises a brow at her, clearing his throat after a second, “well should anything changes you’ll be the first to know, do you think you can have y/n, come in here, I'd like to go over some things with her for the meeting with the heads tomorrow.”

Dolores nods her head as she turns, “anything for you sweetheart,” she murmurs as she moves over to the door.

Anything.

Today was the day; Bucky had planned everything down to where no one would suspect either of you taking off together. He had made sure that his father, mother, and Dolores suspected you would be heading to meet with the heads, and he would be needing to attend another meeting on the other side of town.

What they didn’t know is that your separate cars would be switching before they hit the road, so Bucky would be the one heading to the meeting with the heads, and you, well you would be heading to a place only the two of you knew of.

It was early morning, when the two of you made your way down the steps of his family home, making your way to the awaiting cars.

He pulls open the door for you, “You really think this is going to work,” you questioned turning to face him, “you really think you’ll get your happy ending with your parents, with Dolores watching your our every move?”

Bucky’s hand finds your cheek, “I have no doubt in my heart that this will work sweetheart, like I said it’s my turn, they’ve had there chance at happiness and they couldn’t find it, but I've found mine, have had mine since I was five, and it's my turn to take it.”

Your heart swells in your chest, your hand covering his as you lean into the touch, he chuckles low, “it's taking me everything I have to not kiss you sweetheart.”

Your grin grows, “well should everything go according to your plan it should only be a few hours before you get to do just that.”

His thumb runs over the tops of your cheeks, “you’ll wait for me?”

“You haven’t exactly left me a choice,” you tease, “but yes James, I’ll wait for you.”

It takes everything in him not to lean in and press his lips to yours, but he knows he will be able too soon enough.

“I’ll see you soon,” he murmurs as he helps you into the car, “I'll see you soon,” you promise in return.

The two of you go down the same road, before your cars are switching off, going in different directions.

You turn to look out the back window watching the car carry him to where you should be heading too. The car you’re in taking you instead to the place where only the two of you knew.

As the two of you get farther from one another, you find your eyes on the winding roads ahead, watching as you pass the scenery in a blur. Soon it goes from buildings, to home, to trees, till it's nothing but openness till you reach it.

Your heart is beating away wildly in your chest, as the driver pulls up the dirt road, the grand house sat in the middle of the vast area. You continue on till you’re close enough to get off, though you don’t make it far up the pathway before your driver is calling you back, a rush in his tone.

Your heart plummets in your chest at his next words, “miss, its Mr. Barnes, there’s been an accident!”

WorldofAUs Forever Tag-list: @cap-n-stuff-main @bucky-cinnamonroll-barnes @kseniiafirebrace @sideeffectsofyou @pinknerdpanda @thefridgeismybestie @b0nkybarnes @oliviastan17 @fandom-basurero​ @lookiamtrying​ @baddie-barnes @xxloki81xx @fortyninegal @peacelovehobbitness @xo-spidey @noeaerialist @the-cry-of-youth @liebs82  @jbarness​ @morganclaire4​ @runaway-escape​ @melimelbean​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @rebekahdawkins @thinkaboutmara @im-squished @angstysebfan​ @pncesscarryyy @strangersstranger  @stuckyslutt @courtneychicken @tonystankschild @fallenoutofrose  @jasminepaz @nnuree @ene-rene @mollygetssherlockcoffee @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @doozywoozy @buchanansebba @purselover2   @connie326​ @bestofbucky​ @white-wolf1940​ @stopjustlovethemcu​  @stuckysavedmylive​  @sarcasmoverlordxo​ @avantgardium-leviosa​ @wittysunflower​ @muralskins​ @vesper852 @snakeeater17​ @moonlitskinandcrimsonribbons​ @some0nereally​ @sumtimesitbelikedat​ @gudenuph​ @zareen165​ @dancer3205​ @gemstone-roses​ @buchanansebba​ @moshymosh​ @cachemonet @deepmuffinspymaker @buckybarneshairpullingkink

Sebastian/Bucky Fluff Taglist: @whatrambles @cherryblossomskye @charmedbysarge @buckysgirl101​

[narrators-journal]

Step four

CW: Congratulations reader-chan! You’re expecting! Illumi also really cranks up the yandere side, nothing too bad, but he’s definitely not proving to be a stable man in this part.

Previous part: here

First part: here

Illumi found his mother in the family library, doing some research for a job she'd gotten.        "Mother, sorry for interrupting, but I have a rather pressing dilemma with my relationship." He said, and he could see the woman perk up slightly, but she only hummed and stayed focused on her research,       "Sorry dear, I can't help right now, maybe try Gotoh." She spoke casually, but he could see in her body language that she was dying to hear about her eldest son's relationship.       "I was wondering if it would be inappropriate to bring her here so soon." he added, and like that her research was forgotten and she was instead offering him a seat beside her. So, he sat in the intricately carved wooden chair and filled her in on his dilemma with the concerns for your safety after finding out Hisoka knew your name, and the concern of pushing you away unnecessarily. "I don't want to put her in danger, but my research on dating says that bringing her here is something to do later on, when we've been together for more than a month." he explained, his mother digesting the information before speaking,                "This is a rather delicate situation...but since Morrow is here, it should be safe to leave her where she is. Maybe set some butlers as constant bodyguards, but hold off on bringing her around here. At least until I can prepare! Oh I'd have to get the chefs to cook a special meal for when your father and I finally meet your partner, and the mansion will have to be meticulously cleaned, and the gardens tended to!" Illumi sighed as his mother rambled on a tangent about how this sort of conflict was always so romantic in the novels she'd read and how she'd have to make sure the family was perfect so as to leave the best possible impression on you.        "Mother, I am being serious. I have worked with Hisoka before, he's a dangerously clever man. I don't want to risk him harming my future spouse," he reminded the woman, who savored her excitement for a moment longer before regaining her composure,         "I'm sorry dear, I just get so happy when I think about my sweet baby boy finally settling down," she said somewhat wistfully, and the assassin inwardly groaned. He was the eldest of at least five, he was far from her baby anymore, but he couldn’t really remind her of that without sending her into a sobbing fit. "anyway!" she chirped, drawing him back from his blank staring and practiced way of spacing out when she took advantage of the fact she was the only Zoldyck allowed to be mushy like this, "I really do think you should leave her where she is, at least for a bit longer. Once she comes to this mountain she won't be able to leave easily, and I'd hate for your future wife to turn out to be some spy or desperate journalist." While she said it in honesty, her voice lacked any real remorse. If you did turn out to be a threat, even Kikyo wouldn't hesitate to squash you like a bug. I think out of everyone to have after (y/n), mother would be the worst. Illumi thought as he pondered his mother's words, agreeing to keep you at your home for the time being. So, for the next few weeks Illumi alternated between jobs and returning to stalking you, but until he could rein in the possessive urge to kidnap you, he kept his distance. When he couldn't watch you himself, like when he was torturing Hisoka for adding extra steps to that job, he made sure someone was still there to ensure nothing bad happened to you. Another bonus of this set up he found was that the servants he had hidden nearby to watch you were able to warn him when you started acting odd. They couldn't exactly place why you were suddenly so anxious and slightly distraught though, so the ebony-haired assassin decided to finish the job he was on quickly when he found out and return to his secondary home. About a day after he'd returned, in the late afternoon, you knocked at his door, as he was expecting.         "Hello," he hummed as he opened the door to find you standing in the slightly chilly daylight fidgeting anxiously,         "Um...I think we need to talk." You said, your words shooting an arrow of anxiety into his heart, Is she going to break up with me? Should I have brought her home sooner?  Should I just grab her now? he asked himself, his dark, empty eyes scanning over your form to glean any information he could from your body language while he wrangled in his moment of panic, No. Invite her in, if she really is about to break up with you she'd be easier to subdue where no one can be a witness. he told himself, temporarily quelling the urge to snatch you up and refuse to let you go again and instead inviting you inside to talk out of the cool late spring air. Once inside you sat on his couch, too preoccupied with your own thoughts to mind the bit of mess in the room that Illumi was swift to sweep under the couch or toss out of sight. Your tense mood drove Illumi crazy, but he skillfully hid the fact that he was growing impatient with waiting and beginning to plan out a way to sedate you and take you home, keeping his focus on the dirty clothes he was throwing behind the chair and the garbage he was shoving into his pockets. simply sitting beside you after a while, awaiting whatever bad news you might have for him. Is she really going to try and break up with me? Damn it, I should've never let my mother talk me into this whole 'dating' thing. He thought bitterly, his own sliver of anxiety adding to the tense, heavy air you had already created. However, after an excruciatingly long stretch of time, you took a deep breath,        "Illumi, I t-think I'm...pregnant." you forced out, not looking at the dead-eyed assassin as the two of you fell into another stretch of silence while Illumi processed this news. Pregnant? We've only had sex twice, is she really that fertile? He pondered, an honest smile spreading across his usually expressionless face after it set in. In a flash, he'd jumped up and scooped you up, hugging your possibly smaller body to his tightly, making you squeal,         "this is wonderful news!" he said, making you smile and turn a light pink,             "Oh, well if I'd known you'd be so happy about it, I wouldn't have stressed so much," you laughed awkwardly, letting Illumi hug you for a moment longer before he put you down again and cleared his throat, his face returning to his bland expression,          "Though, this does put a rush on putting together a wedding." he hummed, not noticing the way your eyes widened          "uh? w-wedding?" you squeaked, drawing his attention out of his thoughts and back to you. Your panicky expression was rather cute to him, you were so innocent,          "Well yes, I was originally planning to take things slow, but now I can't afford to wait. Not to worry though, I'm sure my mother will help you plan it," he assured, but judging by the increasing panic in your (e/c) eyes, it didn't work, "is something wrong, (y/n)?"          "I-I don't want to marry you?" You squeaked, and while your words did sting, he knew this might happen,          "Well, I can't let you parent this child without me, and marriage is the perfect way to ensure I stay involved as well as that you and our child are safe from harm." He explained, but you shook your head,          "Illumi, no! It's only been a-a few months since we've started dating, it's far too soon to marry!" you tried to explain, but he waved your arguments away,          "dating is already a redundancy, I've been very patient in waiting this long before moving on to marriage," he explained, getting a bit annoyed at your horrified look. It was intriguing to see you get flustered and slightly scared, but marriage was not something that deserved this sort of reaction. He sighed, I can't let this continue, the stress is not good for the baby, he reminded himself before speaking again, "Please explain to me why you are so against getting married. I don't think I'm understanding your points clearly enough." For a moment, you struggled to find words, obviously confused and shocked, but he made sure to be patient,        "I-Illumi, it's too soon for marriage, that's something for later on down the road, i-if we even make it that far." You tried to explain, but the assassin grimaced, so you spoke again "Plus, it's perfectly fine if we don't get married before the baby's born, we can still parent them together," Your words made his expression darken further. Finally, you sighed dejectedly, "or...I could always just termi-" Illumi cut you off by grabbing you by your shoulders, his grip tight, nearly painfully so he was sure, but he was not about to allow the entertaining of such ideas,         "You will NOT harm that baby, (y/n)." he said darkly, watching tears well up in your (e/c) eyes from fear and maybe pain. That made him calm down, he had to keep his temper in check before his malicious aura was the one to harm his future wife. "If you try anything to put yourself or our baby in danger, I will be forced to keep you under strict observation." he warned, his voice not holding any room for argument when he spoke, but than he tried to relax, hugging your slightly shaking form to him again.        "It'll be okay, mother will plan a good wedding and you'll be a good mother when the baby's born." he assured, running his hand through your (h/l), (h/c) hair in an attempt to calm you down and show that despite his flash of temper, the excitement of your good news still zapped through his veins. "I'll keep you safe, i promise." He could feel the shiver his words sent through you, but fear was easier to manage than defiance. After a moment though, he let you go again, "I'll have some butlers help you pack your most necessary things, tomorrow I'll take you to the estate." he decided, and when you went to argue again he gave you a cold look, "you can't say anything that will change my mind. The Zoldyck estate is the safest place for you, so go home and pack." he ordered, his tone firm enough for you to get the message. You didn't get a choice.

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

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