#he was a jock and he did ballet

[lcvclywon]

─── ⋆ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET

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Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.

pairing ── jake x female reader

genre ── strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic

wc ── 16.6k

featuring ── jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids

warnings ── mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot

DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction

Beep beep beep!

Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you don’t own black comforters? 

Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didn’t own any of this…fuck. 

Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.

You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldn’t believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem. 

“Oh, you’re up” oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you. 

Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. “Uh, Hi Jake.” you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked “Could you um, put on a shirt?” 

“Yeah, you’re kinda wearing it though…” 

You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress. 

“Right.” you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change

“Uh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?” He was only met with the door shut in his face. 

“Yeah uh” you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, “No, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.” 

“Oh yeah totally,” Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. “Here.” you said opening the door to hand him his shirt. 

“Ah, thanks” Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask “Are the other guys still here?” 

“Nah, they all left to practise earlier” he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly “So…” he attempted to start before being cut off by you.

“Yeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Can’t really remember most of it, I’m sure it was good,” briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, “but maybe let’s not bring this up like, ever.” Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jake’s lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.

“Anyways! I really need to get going now so I’ll see you around ‘kay?” You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night. 

And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman he’d ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun. 

Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang. 

And well Jake on the other hand,

Me 

I think I just slept with Jake Sim

Kazuha Nakamura

EXCUSE ME 

Me

Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT

Kazuha Nakamura 

SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.

Me 

STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW i’m gonna kms 

Kazuha Nakamura 

Okay but was it good at least?

You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean it’s not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einstein’s law of relativity. 

Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises. 

Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.

“Jake, get up. I’m starting to actually feel bad for you” Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.

“Dude you don’t get it, she RAN.” Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bed 

“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldn’t have been that horri-”

“The one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!” 

From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it. 

“Okay, so it was YN? So what man, I think you’re overthinking this” Sunghoon chimed in from the back 

“Hey I mean, I think you’re judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!” Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room

Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff “Okay well, since you’re the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by ‘opportunity’”

“Okay listen,” Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jake’s bed “Here's what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna go up to her, start small talk, then you’re gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-”

“Are you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on me” Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it) 

“Hey let me finish!” He replied tucking the pillow under his arms “Yeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim she’d reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. What’s not to love?” 

“Maybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, ” Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung “, and why would I listen to you exactly?”

“Because a) as you said I am the expert,” Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake “and b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!”

Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldn’t he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Well…wrong. I mean, you couldn’t be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person he’d ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot? 

“Fine.” Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.

Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.

“Oh Jake, I didn’t know you took chem?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t, well last year I didn’t…but I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But it’s,” Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took “Yeah it’s ass.”

You let out a slight chuckle, well he’s funny at least. “Yeah, that test was not my best work…”  

Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. “Hey wanna go grab some coffee?” His words laced with nervousness “I’ll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldn’t I… Anyway, my treat.”

And that’s how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence. 

Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. “So..” he awkwardly started “How was your weekend?” 

“I think you know how my weekend went Jake” you said in between sips 

“Oh, right.” Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. “Uh about that-”

He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up”

“Yeah but-” 

“Listen, Jake” you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you “You’re like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really can’t do relationships right now, like I’ve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitals…”

You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing “Anyway, you’re seriously great. I’m just not looking for anything serious right now an-”

“Me neither” Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink

“Yeah, an- wait what?”

“I mean, I’m not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had fun” Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw “And if you haven’t noticed I kinda don’t have a lot going on with me right now” 

You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning “Are you trying to use me for sex.” 

“What no!” Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn “Um, no I’m not. Seriously. I’m not a douche, I’m just…I don’t know how to really- talk. To women at least… I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?” 

This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy. 

“You can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didn’t want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon know…I seriously didn’t mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it so…” Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen. 

“Ummm” you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobody’s ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. “Don’t you think it’s a little…weird? I mean we’ve known each other since high school, like granted we didn’t talk but- yeah you know? And like I’ve just, never done this before. Like ever.” 

“I mean I haven’t either,” Jake paused to put down his drink “Worth a shot though right?” 

Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasn’t like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newton’s cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldn’t deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernails…he definitely did grow up well. 

“I’ll-” you said with a slight sigh “I’ll get back to you on it Jake.”

“You’ll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?” Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.

Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didn’t think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.

“Hey! I was trying to be polite for your information,” you defended whilst burying your head into your pillows 

“I mean why not?” Zuha asked with indifference 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and he’s Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.” you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuha’s bag of chips

“Well to me those all sound like pros.” she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, “Plus what’s the big deal, you hooked up once why can’t you do it again” she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness. 

God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things. 

“Yeah, I guess…” your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. “Okay but how do I even get back to him on it?” 

“Yeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? We’re not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.”

“Yeah okay, am I just supposed to send ‘Hi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!’” you replied sarcastically 

“Okay, you know that’s not what I mean. If you’ve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like you’re opposed to it so…” Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers. 

Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare. 

Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.

“KAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW” you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen. 

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Cool! So this Friday?

What the hell did you just get yourself into

Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Sim’s bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didn’t think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didn’t get the hint)

Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves. 

“Do you-” you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left. 

“Um, kinda..” you responded, god wasn’t he supposed to be the awkward one. 

“Do you want some ramen?” He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words “I mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-”

“Ramen sounds great!” you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door. 

To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself. 

“So um can I ask,” you paused to wipe your mouth “Am I seriously the only other girl you’ve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?”

Jake’s arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. “Uh, I mean in college, yeah. I haven’t had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason you’re here” 

“Well I guess that’s not too surprising” 

“Oh yeah?” Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair “What’s that supposed to mean hm?”

“I’m just saying I’m not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics can’t pull.” you teased back with a sly smile 

“Uh-huh,” he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate “Well I’ll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high school” 

“Yeah and I don’t do ballet.” you came back snarkily 

“Hey! I can even list them for you if you don’t believe me.” Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie

“Yeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 people” Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.

Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasn’t as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, “Hey why don’t you talk to girls? I mean you’re pretty much a natural at this.” 

“Oh.” Jake replied a bit flattered, “Well, I don’t think I’m a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.” hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, “I guess with you it’s sorta, comfortable?” 

Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that. 

“So you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.” you said trying to divert the topic

“Well not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..” Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop

“Why?” 

“Well as you said, I can’t really pull” you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls of chapaguri 

“Hey, don’t laugh with your mouth full.” Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldn’t deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you would’ve folded instantly.

He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.

Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:

Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways. 

Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him: 

He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Layla 

He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at least 

Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.

He wasn’t called a star soccer player for nothing, you’d initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.

It wasn’t like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his ‘best friend’ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didn’t have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you. 

But it’s not like you cared about Jake like that, you were just…observant. 

Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didn’t go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, it’s not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.

“Hey.” Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athlete’s dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.

Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. “Oh, hi Jake. Uh- don’t you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eat” You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded “not like. I’m tracking your schedule or anything like that. don’t get the wrong idea”

Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) “Yeah, uh practice got cancelled. So I’m here earlier than expected.”

“Cool cool” you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. “So uh, you going to Soobin’s party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including me” he said the last part in almost a whisper.

“Oh uh, I haven’t really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so I’ll probably go with” You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. “Uh I think I should go study-” you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.

“But you haven’t even touched your food?” Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” you said slowly getting up to leave

“Wait, do you do this often? skip meals?” Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadn’t seen before.

“Oh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practice”

“Hold on” Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, “This man cannot take a hint” you muttered. 

Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. “Uh here, it’s good for electrolytes” he said while handing you the bottle “Oh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugar”. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. “oh you didn’t really have to-”

“I wanted to.” Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) “Uh anyways, I’ve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, it’s not that good for you, you’re an athlete so..” he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. “Thanks, uh I’ll pay you back-”

“Don’t bother!” he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. “Uh, it’s on me! Don’t worry about it really.” slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance “Bye YN!”

Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small “Thank you”

Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.

Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them. 

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jake said before settling down next to you “Have you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?” 

“Hm? Why do you ask?” you said before moving to lay between Jake’s legs, head resting upon his thigh. 

“Ah you know, Just curious” He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?

“No actually, I wasn’t really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that I’m bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more fun” you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories. 

“That’s interesting…” you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words. 

“Why d’you sound so confused huh” Gently nudging his thigh you laughed. 

“Nothing nothing! I just, you know, didn’t really expect that from you. I don’t know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didn’t really expect you to…”

“What, be a whore?” you butted in jokingly 

Jake’s hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. “Kidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline so…yeah”

“Was your mom never really there or…” Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?

Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. “Uh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always working” Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. “I mean I don’t hold it against her, it’s literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first place”

“But?” Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared? 

“No I mean there isn’t really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonely…only child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for me” the last part coming out a bit strained, “I just was kinda on my own for a while I guess… that’s probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was younger”

“Oh, she was the one who signed you up?”

“Yeah, she was, actually!” voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, “When I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really fun” 

“Was?” Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours. 

“Oh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you know” you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. “It’s partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.”

“Well,” Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together “, I think you’re doing just fine. Trust me I’ve never seen a better dancer than you, like you’re seriously amazing”

You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didn’t think he’d notice that.

“You sure you’re not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,” you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours “, totally not bitchless behaviour” 

“Hey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.” Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask “So what about you, no boyfriend?” 

“Well, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easily” you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt “I dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, it’s stupid really I don’t know why I do it.” Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didn’t tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening. 

“Um anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.” you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes. 

“Oh uh, yeah sure…” Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)

He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out. 

“Bye!” he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump. 

“Oh, bye!” you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around to  speed walk down the hallway.

For some reason even though you had already left he couldn’t get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck I’m an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.

“What do you think? Too much?” you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt. 

“You look the same YN.” your roommate replied stoically “And what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?” she added between snickers. 

“What no!” you rushed to respond “And might I remind you that the only reason he’s picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.” 

“Heyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin won’t be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!” Kazuha whined in a pout “Promise, next time I get invited to a party you’re number 1 on my waitlist. I swear” 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on that waitlist right now.” you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen. 

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Hey I’m waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh

Jake Sim (Hookup)

don’t bring a jacket lmao

You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.

“Oh lover boy here already hm?” she teased in a playful tone. “Ew god don’t call him that.” you deadpanned before heading out the door. 

Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobin’s apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and it’s not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You can’t say you weren’t thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason. 

The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobin’s apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.

A couple of hours had passed and the ‘other friends’ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobin’s living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side. 

“Hey YN, mind if I sit?” he didn’t really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.

“Oh, hey Heeseung” you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldn’t really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you. 

“What’s up, are you bored? I assume you didn’t come here to scroll TikTok alone.” He joked with a quick chuckle. 

“Yeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And he’s obviously very,” you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole ‘bad at talking to girls’ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace “Preoccupied.”

Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, “Don’t worry Jake’s normally just chatty like this when he’s got one of us around, he really really can’t talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he can’t shut up about you.” 

Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, the guy can’t stop talking about you even when you’re gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything it’s kinda annoying. ‘Oh YN loves that drink’ ‘Oh can you buy one for YN too?’ ‘Hey, this is YN’s favourite song!’ ‘Hey don’t touch that, it's for YN’” Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.

“Really? You’re probably exaggerating, me and Jake aren’t even that close.” you commented

“Trust me YN, you don’t live with that guy. I feel like I’m even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-” 

“What’cha guys talking about!” you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadn’t noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you. 

You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink “Oh you know, just keeping myself entertained” you replied before whipping your head up “Since you were obviously, pretty busy.”

Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen “Hey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can. 

Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong? 

Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.

“Okay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?” Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle

“Oooh me me me!” Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.

Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake. 

“Well pucker up loser” Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldn’t brush off how Jake’s eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground. 

Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! It’s Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys aren’t even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting “Spin, spin, spin!” as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.

The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck. 

You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-

Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?

Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.

A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didn’t he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?

Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadn’t said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didn’t say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. It’s not like he didn’t benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. It’s not like it was a piece of intimacy your “relationship” lacked, not like it was the one thing he’d been longing for. Yep, totally not. 

You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long you’d been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.

“Your turn YN!” Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.

“Uh I think I’ll skip, I’ve had enough drinks for tonight” you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? “As a matter of fact,” you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, “I think I need to use the bathroom, I’ll sit out this round, you guys can continue though”

“Okay!” Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.

You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.

Great, so he couldn’t give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?

You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting “Kiss kiss kiss” Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest in… absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.

God what was Seunghan doing here, he didn’t even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was “You aren’t even a good fuck” safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.

“Hey YN” he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you weren’t really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldn’t smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.

“Hi” you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)

“So,” He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking “How's it going, what are you doing here?”

“I kinda go here.” you said in between sips “and shouldn’t I be asking you that, you don’t even go to Decelis.”

“Well someone’s hostile” he let out a chuckle, face still smug “Ah yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?”

“That's nice Seunghan” your face obviously painted that you didn’t really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.

“Is that it?” Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edge”

“What the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I don’t even know what you’re doing here because clearly last time I checked you didn’t go to Decelis. So yeah, I don’t really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.”

“Woah woah, calm down there” Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.

You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. “Sorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think we’ll get going!”

You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off “who are you again.” 

Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasn’t going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.

“Jake her,” he hesitated for a second “boyfriend. But I don’t think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home now” He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

“Woww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I don’t think he would be able to leave me alone otherwise” you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too? 

It’s not like you weren't used to the silence, hell it’s what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, you’d been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you weren’t really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.

“Who was that guy?” he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. ”Seunghan,” you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back “, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesn’t really matter.”

Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. “Was he bothering you? I mean I couldn’t really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so like…yeah I don’t know”

You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN it’s jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess you’re casually fucking. You can’t be doing this.

“Uh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was nice” you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.

“Ah…” Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didn’t seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.

“Are you down to..” you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.

“You know, fuck.” you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasn’t the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.

Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. “YN you’re drunk,” he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, “I'd love to but, maybe next time?” he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.

fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.

“Uh, can you just…” you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, “stay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kinda…lonely?” The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. She’s drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.

He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. “Alright, uhm just scoot over a bit”

Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jake’s touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you weren’t just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.

“Sometimes I wish this was real” you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking

“Don’t know how hammered you got but you’re definitely not dreaming right now YN.” Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages. 

“Not this, I mean us.” 

“Oh.” Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you. 

“You’re too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you weren’t my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again don’t think I’m ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like I’m ready, I don’t know, it's weird. Being with you feels so…natural? Like I’ve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dork” rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldn’t hear the intense racing of his heart. 

“How much did you drink YN?” he stuttered out

“Oh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid right…” you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.

“You like me?” Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Goodnight YN.” he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself. 

As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you. 

Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Unfortunately this wasn’t a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time you’ve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake. 

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jake’s bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk. 

“YN, you’re up already?” Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist. 

“Oh uh yeah!” you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch “Hey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.” You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small “Nope, not anything out of the ordinary”

Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small “Hey, what time is it, by the way?” 

“Oh um,” you quickly grabbed your phone to check “9:30.”

Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting “Oh fuck, I’m late!” He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you “Uhm if you need Tylenol let me know I’ll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!” 

Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him. 

“He's so sweet” you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush. 

You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim. 

Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him. 

Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didn’t sit right with you. Jake didn’t really want to push it and force his way into your life if you weren’t comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasn’t in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jake’s mind, he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom. 

“Hey YN.”

“Oh, Jake hi…”

“You ready for today’s presentation?” he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.

“Oh god no, I’m cooked.” you replied with a nervous laugh. 

“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do.” Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things? 

You flashed him a quick smile before whispering “Thank you.”

Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period? 

“And u-uh, as I was saying…” you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class. 

The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faraday’s law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat. 

Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today? 

Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell you’d embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess? 

Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).

“YN, you okay?” his eyes graced with concern, oh so he’s still attentive as ever it seems. “Was it your presentation? I thought it was great-”

“I got my period.” you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didn’t have the guts to face him right now “and like, yeah it's a mess so…I kinda just want to get home and change.” you finished with a frustrated sigh. 

“Ah I see” Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans. 

Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could. 

“I’ll come get it back later okay? Don’t worry about it” he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place. 

“Oh, thank you Jake…” you mumbled 

“Hey YN.” he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, “um, sorry it’s nothing actually- just uh, don’t be a stranger you know?” he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself. 

“Oh,” you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with “alright…”

And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasn’t going to end well. 

“YN you keep doing this!” your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music. 

“How many times do I have to remind you?” she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “your legs aren’t straight and your feet aren’t pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. You’re my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.” she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror. 

Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why weren’t you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldn’t do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didn’t know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didn’t even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldn’t you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?

Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open. 

“YN?” Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, “what happened, what’s wrong?” he asked while rushing over to your side. 

“Oh Jake, god please don’t look I’m a mess right now” quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his. 

“YN, honestly I couldn’t care less about how you look right now. What’s wrong? Why are you crying hm?” His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. “Jake I can’t do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I don’t know why I can’t just be the person everyone wants me to be, I’m a failure.” you cried out between sobs.

“Hey hey don’t say that, look at me.” he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, “Okay so maybe you’re not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you aren’t perfect-”

“Not helping.” you deadpanned 

“Yeah well, I wasn’t done. Point is you’re not that but, you're YN. You’re exactly who you need to be right now, and you’re doing your best. Maybe that isn’t perfect but hey nobody’s perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. It’s okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, we’re only human. If it means anything, in my eyes you’re doing everything right. You’re perfect, okay YN?” 

This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasn’t complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state. 

After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jake’s embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking “Uhm, why did you come here in the first place again?”

“Oh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said you’d be here, didn’t really expect to see you crying all alone though” he commented with a quick chuckle 

“Oh shit yeah,” you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Never mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, let’s just get you back to your dorm alright?” 

“But your hoodie-”

“And up we go!” he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room. 

The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking “Are you sure you’re okay” every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping “Jake Sim. If you don’t stop, I will actually not be okay.” 

“Okay okay! Just checking!” he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat. 

Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.

“Yes?”

“Oh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?”

“Thanks Jake, but I’m not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.” you joked. 

“I know I know, just reminding you. You’ve got me, ‘kay?” Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel. 

“Alright, thanks Jake” You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly you’ve fallen for Jake Sim.

To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were: 

The first time you’d two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing

The second time you’d hooked up; which technically wasn’t even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing. 

You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon: 

“You didn’t kiss me.”

Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. “What?”

“I mean, at Soobin’s party, you didn’t do it” your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair “I mean you kissed Karina, why not me?”

“I mean…I can kiss you now if you want?”

“Yeah but then you’d only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.” you grunted out in annoyance “But when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didn’t, but you could kiss Karina so easily”

“I thought you didn’t want me to kiss you?” Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative. 

“When did I ever say that?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing? 

“Yeah okay well, kissing her meant nothing” Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasn’t just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now

“Yeah well, we’ve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anything” For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.

“YN why does it matter.” he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended

“Technically I’m saying it doesn't.” you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesn’t work “What do you not want to kiss me or something?”

No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing he’d thought about for the past month. But Jake couldn’t admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.

The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.

“I’ll take that as a no.”, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated ‘walk of shame’ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasn’t going anywhere. “It's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, I’ve got practice so I think i’ll get going” you said absently while touching up your makeup

Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. “Wait, YN…” he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up

“Jake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And I’ve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so I’ve gotta get going.” You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didn’t have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.

“YN I’m sor-” he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. “Bye Jake.” 

God, she couldn’t even look at me when leaving.

“Bye.” Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.

“fuck…” you both thought.

“YN come on you’ve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Let’s go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you don’t even accept it?!” Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly. 

“Yeah I won’t, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight” 

“You’re never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? That’s never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!” you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk. 

“Ugh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isn’t it the same old people?” you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight. 

“No actually it’s not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, don’t you think that’s the perfect way to help you get over this loser?”

“Hey, he isn’t a loser!”, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, “just like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybe…it would help?”

Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. “Okay, perfect. Here, wear this.” she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face. 

Holding them up you weren’t even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. “Did you cut this shirt up or something?”

“No, I didn’t you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys won’t know what’s hit them. Trust me.” she said while absently applying lip gloss. 

Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip. 

This is good, you’re fine! You’re going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight. 

Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldn’t even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If he’s here then… 

You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you. 

Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it. 

“YN, can we talk?” Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck you’d never seen him this desperate, “please.” 

You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.

“Okay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness

“Listen,” Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, “I’m sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldn’t have kissed Karina that night, it’s just we aren’t exclusive or anything so I figured-” 

“Yeah we weren’t, but honestly Jake I couldn’t give less of a fuck” a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude? 

“Yeah sure sounds like it” 

“Yeah I don’t, I just think it’s messed up that you don’t kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriend” 

“Please, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?” 

“No and as I said I couldn’t give a fuck” 

“Well, I do. You can’t just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothing” fuck so he did remember

“Okay well,” You stuttered out, anger simmering within you “I was drunk. I wasn’t in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.” 

God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, “Yeah well we obviously haven’t been acting very ‘casual’ as of late.” 

“Why does that even fucking matter Jake, I don’t know why you care so much!” 

“Obviously because I fucking caught feelings!” Jake’s mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that. 

Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldn’t even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.

“This is stupid.” you blurt out finally “I can’t handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldn’t even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.” 

“I thought you liked me.” Jake muttered

“So what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I can’t even confess to you without running away from it. I’m not good for you Jake. I wouldn’t be able to make us work and-”

“Are you not even willing to try!?” Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldn’t bear seeing him cry.

“Not if I’ll just hurt you in the process!” you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own “I’m sorry Jake.” And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.

Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.

Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.

This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well it’s not like you didn’t hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldn’t get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, you’d become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon. 

You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldn’t care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you. 

“Oh Jay! Hey,” you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-”

“Actually I’m here for you.” Jay cut in, “Could I come in?” his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.

“Oh, um” taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly “...yeah yeah sure, it’s sorta a mess though.” you admitted before moving aside to let him in. 

“So, what’s up?” you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard

“Have you um, talked to Jake at all recently?” 

And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. “No, actually.” “Ah yeah, I figured.” his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room “He’s been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-”

“If you’re just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.”

“Wait wait no I wasn’t! Just, okay- hear me out” he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of you 

“I know you guys had that whole argument before. And I don’t blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN I’ll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.”

Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. “Ah…”

“Yeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think I’m a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.” he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted

“And I know I don’t know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I don’t think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. He’s still willing to try…” he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, “He’s playing in tonight’s game so, think about it?” he concluded with a slight shrug

Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didn’t truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.

“Thanks Jay, I’ll see.”

This was a bad idea. 

You couldn’t believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didn’t really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night. 

Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldn’t really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space. 

You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again. 

You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each. 

The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity you’ve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post. 

“And a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!” The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.

Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. It’s fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd. 

Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick “Wait” before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team. 

Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained “Hey YN.”

“Hi Jake,” you started awkwardly, “Could we um, talk for a bit?”

“Yeah sure but-” he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, “maybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and I’m not really interested.”

“Oh uh,” your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, “yeah, sure. That sounds good.”

The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor. 

Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. “You wanted to talk to me about something?” 

“Oh right. Um about the other night, I’m really sorry I just…” all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause. 

“YN it’s fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-”

“NO THAT’S NOT IT!” hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, “What I was going to say was-” you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.

“What I wanted to say was, well what I’ve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if I’m gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesn’t really make up for it, but, yeah. Anyways– I’m getting side tracked.” you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.

“I told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesn’t have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think I’m seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I just…have to get it out. I’m willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I don’t care if it’s 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. I’m willing to take that risk for you Jake.”

One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak. 

“Please say something” you winced. 

“Sorry I’m just- I just- well I’ve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?” Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, “You are asking me out… right?”

“Yes…I think so and I’ve truthfully never done this either.” you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring. 

“Well YN,” his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, “I would love to go out with you.” he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime. 

“Oh thank fuck.” you sighed out in relief. Jake couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, “Can I do this now?”

“Do what?”

“This.” and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you weren’t religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices. 

Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth you’d seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement. 

“Guess people can’t call you a loser now?” 

“You know damn well I never was,” he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, “C’mere” he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter. 

Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?

thoughts frm yuya 💭 hai everyone! omg this is finally out 😭 i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad 🙏 anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !

taglist ─── ⋆ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwus  @junityy  @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldn’t tag u TT)

[citrina-posts]

Why do people ship fabriz when riz is canon aroace and fabian/ragh is right there. he did football he did ballet fr need i say more. hoot growl bitches let these jocks get their kisses in

[underoossss]

the way you move - s.h. - part 4

pairing: ballerina!reader x jock!steve harrington

warnings: none, just two pining idiots

1.6 words

an: sorry this took longer than I thought but we’re getting so close to the ending I’m so excited for lol these two need to stop dancing around each other and KISS but we’ll get there soon enough.

part 3

✶✶✶✶

The sound of conversation and scraping cutlery floats around you along with the classic smell of fresh fries. The booth’s leather is shiny under the fluorescent lights and the cozy spot at the far side of the diner gives you the perfect view of the street outside through chilled glass and the customers talking by the register to the left. It’s warm, lively, and comfortable; you couldn’t have asked for a more perfect evening. Especially with your friends around you and the setting sun outside. Steve’s basketball team won their game tonight against the visitor team, so naturally you’re celebrating his victory with a greasy dinner before going to the cinema.

Robin and Nancy sit close to each other in the booth in front of you, looking happy and excited as they ask question after question. Steve sits next to you, his arm above your shoulder as it rests on the booth behind you, drawing you closer to him by the maddening yet fain smell of his cologne. As if your feelings aren’t enough, he had to flood your senses by proximity too.

To anyone walking by it, the scene at the table would look like a double date, but you know in your heart that it’s not. The reality is simple, no matter how much you want him to be, Steve isn’t your boyfriend. Lately you don’t really know what he is exactly, with how much affection he shows you and the way it has increased in doses since last Saturday. Friends don’t hold each other like he did, maybe best friends do, but they definitely don’t wipe your tears away or kiss your forehead as tenderly as Steve had. Yet he hasn’t said anything that may hint he wants to be something more, leaving you wondering if it’s all in your head. You really hope not.

Robin’s laughter makes your mind go back to the present, and if you subconsciously lean closer to Steve you pretend to not notice. Your two friends in front of you arrived from New York in the morning to visit their family and see Steve’s basketball game, and to show they are the epitome of a perfect couple. They balance each other out, and together they’ve become the best version of themselves; not to mention their new life in the city has suited them well. They don’t want to talk much about that yet though, instead asking question after question about Steve’s certificate, your university classes, and ballet. They want to catch up as much as they can before they leave on a redeye tomorrow, which seems fair as you’re now many miles away.

When you first met Robin and Nancy, you’d been apprehensive and frankly very scared. You knew how much Steve cared about them, so you wanted to get along with them because you cared so much about Steve. It’s something they seemed to notice right away, and all the pieces fell perfectly into place. You built a good dynamic before they left for New York shortly after you met them, and it’s been only you and Steve in Indianapolis ever since –except for the long phone calls the four of you share now and then.

“So, practice for the play is going well?” Nancy asks, stealing some of Robin’s strawberry milkshake. “We haven’t heard anything new since you told us auditions would be opening soon for the Nutcracker.”

You inevitably get teary-eyed but shake your head and the bittersweet feeling away. No reason to still be hung up about that. “I didn’t get the part I wanted but it’s going really well.”

“Oh no,” Robin’s shoulders sag as a shocked look comes across her face. Her and Steve exchange a look that can only mean Is she okay, so you hurry to speak again. The last thing you want is to rehash the ugly feelings from last week.

“It’s all good though, the girls that I’m dancing with are really nice.” You stress, hoping to reassure Robin. “I’m getting the costume fitted tomorrow, I’m excited.”

Nancy frowns and looks at Robin, like they know your optimism isn’t 100% genuine. “We’re sorry you didn’t get to be the lead, though.” She says reaching out and squeezing you hand. “We’ll try to come see the play, I think some of our classmates are driving through here for Christmas.”

“Who got it instead.” Robin asks, not helping herself and looking around. But there are no ballet dancers around you, so you shrug and give her the name.

“Ugh, Agatha.” Steve says with distaste. “Not only is she rude to you, she got the role.”

You chuckle at Steve’s petty tone and look up at him briefly, love bubbling under your skin. “Stevie, it’s okay.” He rubs your arm up and down in response and pulls you close to his side as you turn towards Nancy and Robin again. “Thanks guys but I’ve made peace with it. Stevie says he’s gonna tell everyone I’m the lead.”

Robin snorts and Nancy rolls her eyes, “Yeah, that sounds like you, dingus.”

“She’s gonna be so good they’ll think she’s the lead anyway. We have to cheer really loud and everyone will believe us.” Steve’s voice is so full of confidence you can image the beautiful smile on his face as his eyes burn the side of your face.

Nancy shakes her head, trying to understand Steve’s logic and it makes you laugh, which seems to be what Steve was aiming for. You look up at him in wonder for a second, feeling affection run through your veins and flooding you whole body just by looking at him. Even in the fluorescent lights his cheeks have their characteristic rosy color, and his eyes look as beautiful as ever, especially with the dark green sweater he’s wearing that makes them pop. Then he goes and makes the feeling worse by smiling and sending a knee weakening wink your way.

You’re grateful when he looks away after a second, glad that he gives your heart a time out. There’s only so much yearning it can take. A moment later of staring at his profile, you risk a look back at your friends only to regret it instantly. Nancy is giving you a knowing look that you don’t have time to ignore because a server arrives with your orders. Thankful beyond words for the interruption, you say “Okay, we can officially celebrate Stevie’s win.”

The four of you keep talking between mouthfuls of burgers and chicken strips you make everyone swear not to tell Madame Laverne about. Nancy and Robin finally start answering your own questions about their journaling and creative writing programs in the big city. They indulge you with funny stories their roommates have dragged them into, retelling their hunt for the best yet cheapest coffee shop, and all the odd places where they’ve found rats. Food gone and sky darkening 45 minutes later, Steve stands up and insists on paying the bill.

You knew it would happen but startle anyway when Robin leans close and ambushes you with questions. “What is going on here? Do you have some news you have to tell us?”

 “No?” Your answer sounds more like a question to your ears after you urge Robin to keep quiet.

Nancy rolls her eyes in both exasperation and fondness. “Honey you both look like lovesick puppies, it’s like you’re going to kiss any second now.”

“You’re one to talk, when I met you both…”

“We were already together, which is why I need to know if you’ve told Steve yet!” Robin whispers, eyebrows doing acrobatics in anticipation to your answer. “I swear he looks like he’ll die if he can’t kiss you soon.”

You look away and chuckle awkwardly as your entire body lights up at the idea. “I mean you know how I feel so I wouldn’t complain if that happened. But no, I haven’t told him.” Your two friends had spotted you crush on Steve from miles away upon your first meeting. The teasing is incessant but you’re grateful for their support –and discretion.

“But if you feel that way, why don’t you make it happen?” Robin insists, sinking back into the red booth in defeat. “It’s so clear that Steve’s in love with you.”

You go to deny her statement but stop short when you see Steve approach. He smiles at you when he catches your eye and makes your heart stall inside your chest then start back up ten times quicker than before. Still, despite the nervous frenzy you’re in, you smile inevitably because… Steve makes you happy beyond words and you know how worried he’s been ever since you didn’t get your dream role, there’s nothing you want more than to put him at ease. You’re with him, of course you’re okay.

“Ready to go, beautiful?” Steve asks you then looks at his friends, “We’re going to miss the movie if we don’t leave.”

When all of you nod to agree he extends his hands and helps you out of the booth, his warm touch making electricity course from your point of contact to your heart. Even more so when he pulls you close to his side once outside in the winter night. “You sure you don’t want my jacket? It’s colder than usual tonight.”

You look up at Steve, smiling softly at his ever-present caring nature. “Everything’s perfect right now.” Your voice is light and gives away your emotion, and it makes Steve smile once more.

“Let me know, though.” He says and you can only nod, leaning your head on his shoulder until you get to his car.

 What if Robin is right? What if you can just lean up and kiss Steve and feel him kiss you back immediately? But what if you’re all wrong and it ends your friendship? No, you can’t do that until you’re certain Steve feels the same way. But how will you know?

✶✶✶✶

part 5

reblogs are super appreciated

masterlist

[goldencuffs]

Hi! Do you have any new Lamen fics planned tho? And if so is it possible for you to give us hints about the plot?

YES I DO!! 🙌✨🎉

just one. maybe two.

but i've written quite a lot of one particular au. it has very cliche stereotypes - jock damen and ballet dancer laurent who are "friends" with benefits. damen is a complete and utter asshole in this. and he makes laurent's life miserable most of the time. laurent is, naturally, in love with damen.

it also features aleron and laurent getting along but with a twist... (aleron is extremely controlling and overprotective and laurent is People Pleaser to his core in this au so he goes along with all of aleron's restrictions).

i want to finish at least half of it (i already have 20k!!!) before i start posting because i don't want people to be waiting forever in between updates (not that that's what i'm known for hahahaha...............)

anyway enough yapping. here's (part) of the first scene hehe ✨

Damen sucked leisurely, like they had all the time in the world, his thumb breaching Laurent. It was dry, but they both knew how much Laurent loved the painful stretch, the initial press. Laurent’s head was vibrating in pleasure. His stomach was clenching and unclenching; he was going to come soon, and then Damen would really lose it, because he liked fucking into Laurent when he was loose and pliant. The buzzing around his head was growing, and Laurent was shaking, completely— “Shit.” Damen pulled away, just at the crest of Laurent’s orgasm. “Nooo,” Laurent groaned. “Damen, please, I’m—” “Wait. Shut up. Shit.” “What?” Laurent propped himself up on his elbows, because he was just starting to realise Damen sounded panicked, not turned on. And there was a buzzing still in his head—wait, no, next to it; Laurent turned, to where Damen’s phone was on the nightstand, and saw Jokaste’s name flash across the screen. He frowned. “Why is she calling you?” Damen snatched the phone, silencing it. “Shit.” “Why is she calling you, Damen?” Damen exhaled sharply. He ran his hands through his hair, and then seemed to remember there wasn’t much of it left, and his hand fell awkwardly in his lap, where his jeans were stretched and tented. “Look,” he said. “I completely forgot… but, uh, Jokaste and I… We got back together last week.” Laurent shot up. “What?” “Look—” “Are you fucking kidding me, Damen?” Laurent snapped. He didn’t know what to focus on: the infuriating expression on Damen’s face, his almost-orgasm, his half-naked state, the fact that Damen was back with his fucking— “What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you forget that? How could you not tell me—and, and, and, you called me over to—” “Jesus, calm down, alright,” Damen shifted on his knees, looking both morose and furious. “If anything, you should take it as a compliment I forgot about her the moment I saw you—” “What is wrong with you? Who the fuck in their right mind would take that as a compliment?” Laurent hands were shaking with—anger, distraught, frustration—as he pulled up his underwear and pants. The worst part was that his treacherous heart was taking it as a compliment. “Why did you even get back together with her? I thought her sleeping with Kastor—your brother, by the way, in case you fucking forgot—was the last straw.” Damen rolled his eyes, and now he was really starting to look annoyed, eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched. “That was months ago. And they didn’t sleep together; he just went down on her.” He paused. “Actually, you know what, this works in my favour, since I just went down on you… so it’s kind of like tit for tat. Guilt absolved.” Laurent’s mouth dropped. He stood, whirling on Damen. “Oh my fucking God, Damen. What is wrong with you?” “How many fucking times are you going to ask me that?” “How can you sit there and fucking act like you’ve done nothing wrong?” Laurent cried. “I’ve been fucking twiddling my thumbs, waiting for you, and, and, and last week. You got back with her last week—you couldn’t have told me?” “I deleted your number after she called and—” “Oh my god!” Laurent pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Oh my god. Oh my god. That’s why you’re back early, isn’t it? To see her, before she goes on her retreat?” And here it was: at three-thirty on a Tuesday morning, Damen destroying his entire world and heart with a few simple sentences, in a span of five minutes. This was record-breaking, actually, even for them.

[realcuntsofsuburbia]

Gta Headcanons 💞

(TW⚠️some angst, SH, suicide tendencies, sexual assault, eating disorder and more‼️)

•Back when Tracey was in about elementary or middle school, and her school would have ‘bring your parents to school’ day, Amanda would showed but Michael…never showed..

•Tracey definitely has bulimia.

•Michael contemplates if he wants to off himself at random nights when he gets to drinking or he just can’t sleep.

•Franklin gets a little upset when he sees a father and son duo.

•Trevor mom probably never even gave a shit to give Trevor a middle name.

•Lamar definitely fucked one of Franklin aunts friends before. on MULTIPLE occasions.

•Trevor always got attached to his female teachers back in his school years.

•Wade knows Floyd and Debra are really gone but he tries not to think about it.

•Michael hates cats. He hates that their so feisty towards him. (they secretly remind him of T and himself).

•Amanda always feel that deep overwhelming pain of guilt after she slept with the tennis coach, gardener, the guy who thinks he’s Jesus, and so on.

•Back in North yankton, Trevor stole barbie dolls and basically gifts for Tracey and Jimmy (mainly Tracey) birthdays and around Christmas time (that’s if Amanda even let him come).

•Trevor is an absolute mess when it comes with movies that has anything to do with a motherly figure.

•Back in his school years, Trevor actually accidentally used to call his teachers ‘mom’ ‘ma’ or ‘mama’.

•Brad definitely looked up to Trevor more than Michael.

•Ron probably got his knee messed up because he accidentally said some shit to T that set him off pretty badly…

•Tracey gets a little sad when she looks through her photos of when she was younger. When she was somewhat happy.

•Steve is such a pillow princess.

•Dave is probably divorced after a marriage of 2-3 years and he had a kid but they died due to a cancer infection.

•Trevor goes to ‘Michael’ grave while drunk and spill his guts while he’s a sobbing snotty mess.

•Tracey probably did ballet in her younger years.

•Jimmy goes to the Pierre or the park and just smoke pot whenever he’s upset because he thinks he’s a burden to people.

•Trevor got sa by a clown when he was younger.

•Lamar always looked up to Franklin like he was his own brother even though Franklin had to look out for him most of his life like a parent.

•Lester is such pervert like it’s not even funny 💀

•Michael was a MAJOR jock in high school.

•Brad and T definitely kissed while they were drunk. (T told Brad if he told someone, he’d eat his intestines out)

•Amanda definitely fakes her orgasms.

•Dave and Steve got banned from a coffee shop because the employee didn’t make Steve cookie-crumble with extra sprinkle and whipped cream frappe, the exact way and he started to go off as poor Dave tries to calm him down. (Steve broke the employee nose.)

•Trevor has a fascination with reading into cannibalism and true crimes.

•Trevor hates country music (it reminds him of his dad.)

•Tracey definitely had a lesbian relationship once in middle school with one of her best friend. (it lasted 1/2 weeks)

•Trevor loves but hates the smell of cigarettes because it remind him of his best friend. the one that he saw that died, but strangely came to life.

•Michael constantly had to save T because of his suicidal behavior. He’d constantly have to talk down a mess of a trevor who’s strung out on meth and he’s only in his underwear, as he finna jump from a cliff.

•Amanda loathes the fact that Trevor is still alive.

•Michael and Trevor once did a train on this hooker and surprise, surprise, they both got crabs‼️

•Amanda parents did NOT approve of Michael.

Thats all i have byeee :}

[limetimo]

RAB fics I read (13-22nov)

En Avant by bluerosebouquet oh my gooood. This one is *chef kiss*. Modern AU, James is trying to cope with losing Lily (reasons unknown) and raise Harry who's like 4 with the help of his whole friend group. Then Sirius gets a word that his brother Regulus is back in town and is really upset about it and refuses to make contact when Regulus passes on his phone number. BUT SURPRISE SURPRISE REGULUS IS THE BALLET INSTRUCTOR IN THE DANCE CLASS THEY SIGNED HARRY FOR! And James just can't see the monster Sirius made Regulus to be. (We learn all that Black Brothers Backstory in like chapter 23.) And they start talking, and James catches feelings, and he battles with the guilt of betraying Lily's memory as well as betraying Sirius and it's just really interesting, I love it.

Deep Blue Waters by ThatBlueNiffler Regulus gets himself sorted to Ravenclaw to escape his mother's machinations and not join the death eaters only for Grandfather Arcturus to be like "Sup kid you're going to become a Death Eater so that you can spy on them". slowburn Jegulus (they catch feelings pretty early on tho)

Black Moon by ouzell Regulus survives the cave, makes a deal with dumbledore, becomes a spy, tells his mum to go fuck herself, gets himself kicked out, and becomes roommates with Remus Lupin. basically Oh My God They Were Roommates but in the middle of a war

Let’s make the most of this by jelfulry !!! Trans Sirius texts a wrong number and catches feelings for the dashing Moony, also he has a son named Leo because teen pregnancy, and James and Regulus are dating

Wildflower by orphan_account Remus/Regulus smut, pure, easygoing smut

A Passing Dream by Elfflame Lily walks in on Regulus blowing Remus in an abandoned classroom

career goals: tyrant by justwhatialwayswanted :D :D :D

Waters Run Deep by knight_bus_of_doom :D :D :D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever I Want (Whatever That Is) by xylodemon remus and regulus have a secret sex thing going on

When did you last check? by camichats james: we're dating / sirius: wait what? impossibel *founces away to bother regulus* / Regulus: go bother your boyfriend / Sirius: the betrayal??? / James: :D

The Long Game by lackadaisical_lizard modern high school, jock james and artist Regulus get roped in the theatre club production! ft. Remus&Regulus friendship and monstermachine Lily

Pyrrhic Victories by dollteeth It's not Regulus' fault nobody else can appreciate a good Quidditch tactics

Toujours Pur (of Heart) by Nillegible for nitilia Regulus wants to say goodbye before the cave, Sirius shows up in his animagus form

(Not) Always Brave by Nillegible why was Sirius afraid he would betray James and Lily if they made him their secret keeper? it was simple, really - he still cared for his brother.

The Serpent's Tongue by Equinesandcanines sirius gets sorted into slytherin despite his best efforst, still becomes besties with james and peter (remus is ravenclaw). Reggie is a cutie

The Marauders and the Prisoner of Azkaban by SilverShadow1 ♥

On The Theory of Spontaneous Generation by FantasticalFairyFarmer harry luna hermione ron and neville have an accident in the department of mysteries battle and are yot to the late 70s. They're managing pretty well imo. Regulus is a stuck up cutie i want to bite him

to the dark lord by justwhatialwayswanted :D :D :D

Mark My Skin so I Can Laugh at Your Little Girlfriend. by Anonymous Regulus polyjuices himself as lily and fucks her boyfriend (his crush)

Beat Me Unconscious and Tell Me It's Love by Anonymous Jegulus, Regulus wants pain to equal love so that he can feel like his mother loved him. James safewords

From a Distance by unsmokedroses James has a part time summer job in his parent's bookshop and falls head over heels for a regular customer. i love the trope subversion, usually it's regulus behind the counter!

Salt in the Wound by saintsirius jegulus had a messy break up (my bet is it was regulus' parents threatening him) and now they have to act in a movie together! neither is over their feelings.

All of You, All of Me (intertwined) by ajom28 james is an actor and after a bad break up and bad publicity and two years of break he has a chance of making it back on the movie screen. the only problem? he needs some positive PR. Regulus is in a band and they're >this close< to a world tour, but the company wants them to gain more media attention first. Their managers are friends. say hi to fake dating! but Regulus and James absolutely despise each other. Can they get along for the sake of their careers (and for Sirius)?

We are younger and older now by PandaJ Regulus died. Evan died. They wake up the same night, back at Hogwarts.

Blood and Water by euphorial_docx the last of us jegulus au

Teach Me by gaycowboysyd regulus kisses a stranger in the bar only to find out later that fghj that's a father of one of his pupils. AND his brother's best friend!

Gods Under Broken Skies by SlyRaven_394 Regulus dies in the cave and is returned to the night Sirius is leaving. And, see, he's tired of this shit. Kreacher should be allowed more arson more often, as a treat ♥

Diptych by pansysnarkinson I would strangle Gandalf-ish Dumbledore his own natal chord if I could, I can't even. I hate that man with my entire being

R&J by catastropheof79 sirius ran away from home but he needs to get the key Alphard left him to access the inheritance. Cue in James crashing parties and climbing through Regulus' window to plot a heist. IT'S A LOVE STORY BABY JUST SAY YES

God Shattering Star(s) by mila_ngas Draco has dreams about REgulus

Tatterdemalion by blackkat Sirius just HAS to ruin all REgulus carefully crafted plans by escaping Azkaban, hasn't he?

an unfamiliar time by siaaa Regulus gets yeeted 28 years into the future, meets Drarry and learns to appreciate Muggleborns by working with Hermione on getting back to his own time. Ultimately, nothing changes.

The Post-War World by fuckthisshittillidie Draco does a Ritual and brings back to life (almost) everyone who died in the Wizarding Wars. Everybody has to deal.

so i dream, dream, dream of icarus by orphan_account Regulus is reborn as draco malfoys younger brother, it changes things

the longest year of my life by Kris678 draco gets his hands on kinda sorta not really ressurection stone and talks to Regulus

Snitched by mischiefwrappeddreams regulus has a crusssshhh (jegulus)

Danger By Day But You’re Evil In The Night by JBlackLupinMalfoy mmmm okay so this was a bit tagled one, starts with Dark As Fuck Regulus who Sees the Light after his revenge plot fails (not that he felt any satisfaction from it). bdsm jegulus

Cheap-Ass Screw-Top Rosé by mischiefwrappeddreams ♥♥♥♥♥ jegulus

unremarkable days. by sadgorl sirius is falling on his face waging a legal war against his abusive parents for traumatised regulus' custody. He doesn't have time to date a recovering-from-abusive-relationship Remus. it's not like either of them can stay away tho

Can't We Be Seventeen? by Dancersock for FlowerB James wants to tell his friends he¨s dating Regulus, Regulus is scared and gets a little nasty. angst but also cute

Snakeface by Mr_Customs_Man a prank goes WRONG and... there's a noncon-ish orgy

Observer by shyfoxling Sirius observes Severus fucking Regulus and wishes it could be him

Black Out by ThinLine_Archivist OotP Snape and Sirius fuck and talk about Regulus

[mxtantrights]

the ballerina, the freak, and the king (modern!au)

this is a re-work of the original tbtftk series which you can read here. you don't have to read that to read this since what's below is more a standalone, but there will be things that nod back to the original work, so if you do that's up to you! thanks for reading, hope you enjoy <33

Steve hates his job. He hates the smile he puts on to sell cars to rich men and families of four and college students. He hates how he knows exactly how 77 degrees feels like on his skin. He hates how good he is at selling cars because it reminds him that he wanted to be more than this. He was never sure what that entailed but he knew it wasn't selling cars.

Steve hates his job except when you walk pass the windows. Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday you breeze by with your chin up and a duffle bag strapped to your shoulder. Your hair is always done perfectly, a tight bun and two coils to frame your face.

He's thought about going into the studio once or twice. He could come up with an excuse. He was recommended lessons for his back. His mom suggested he try something new. He's helping Lucas with basketball and wants to teach him some fundamentals from ballet.

But none of those excuses were wise enough for him to even think of stepping foot in the studio. No he would keep his distance. Out of sheer embarrassment and something else.

He had talked to you once before. Really it was more of a small greeting. It was in passing and because of Robin. She had directed you to the store because you were looking to buy a car. Something small and bit on the cheap side, but enough to get you to and from places. She showed you around the used car lot.

It hadn't worked out though. Steve never found out the reason why but he also holds onto hope because of it. Maybe when you did need a car again he would be on the clock. A perfectly reasonable excuse to talk to you.

The front door opens and in comes the new hire. He refers to himself as "001" for some odd reason.

Steve hates his job.

-

Eddie loves his job. Yes it did come with the occasional weird looks. He was the only rock fan working in a record store in Indiana. He was bound to get looks. But he doesn't really care about the eyes that linger on his tattoos and his rings.

How could he when one pair of those eyes belongs to you? You with your upright posture and your tutu. He barely sees you since the studio is in the middle of the main block and the record store is on the corner.

He was enthralled by you once you walked into Vecna Vinyl, dressed in head to toe ballerina equipment, and demanded an Eagles record for the class you teach. It was like some sort of cosmic event- Dustin would use that other word, Kismet.

Eddie isn't sure you remember him from high school. Not that the two of you hung out at all. Neither were you in the same circles. You weren't rubbing elbows with the cheerleaders and jocks but they respected you and your craft. Him? Not so much.

But there was this one time. When Eddie was done picking up groceries for him and Wayne. He walked out the store and saw you eyeing his van. Part of him was in panic mode- did you want to slash his tires or something? Prank the freak?

When you caught him looking at you you bolted out of sight. He never got to ask you why you were interested in his van in the first place. And too much time has passed now for him to ask you.

But you could just as easily walk into his store and ask him for another Eagles record.

Eddie loves his job.

-

You think if you you have to spin around one more time today something will come out of you. Whether it be bodily fluids or a high pitched scream.

You like your job, in theory. You get paid to be the assistant to the instructor of the baby ballerinas. Which means you basically take care of the said baby ballerinas while the instructor teaches to children who would rather be digging up worms or throwing slime onto the ceiling.

But it could be worse, you think to yourself. You could be working at the mall and wearing one of those godawful outfits with the hat to match. So this is fine. This is doable.

All of a sudden your ears pick up on the sound of someone about to upchuck. It's a gross and dry sound that you hate to hear. Because it usually means that you'll have to get the mop, you know, as the assistant to the instructor that keeps class flowing.

One of the children is standing with her hands on her head. Breathing a bit shallow.

"Annabelle?" you ask her

She looks over your way. And the face she makes doesn't mean anything good coming either of yours way. Her chubby little hand slaps over her mouth.

"Bathroom! Bathroom right now! Bathroom!" you shout.

She starts running. You start running after her. The class stops at the volume of your voice. But you don't care. You can't handle mopping up vomit today. It would break you.

Annabelle, bless her heart, runs as fast as she can. Her tiny feet travel quickly and to the bathroom. You rush in after her as she dives for a toilet and sticks her head in.

You hear the vile sounds and reach to keep her head from going too far into the toilet. Pinching your nose you keep your position until she finally backs away from the bowl.

She looks at you.

Before you can even think about talking to her you reach for the toilet handle and push down. Then you bring her over to the sink where the paper towels are. And water. Water would help her right now. You'll have to call her guardian after this.

She grabs the paper towels first. Then she hands one to you. You turn the sink on, cold water, and run the towel under the water for a few seconds. Then you pass the towel back to her.

"I hate ballet." she says sadly.

You watch as she lays the towel over her forehead.

"sometimes I hate ballet too. But I think what you mean is different." you speak.

She nods her head. You nod along with her. Not every child wants to do ballet. But the parents and the adults hear how it can help with posture and other things and they sign their kids up faster than lightening. Not even giving time to think what their kids might actually want to try and enjoy.

Annabelle is one of those kids.

"Do I have to go back out there?" she asks.

Then an idea comes to your mind. Like a serious light bulb moment from a cartoon you used to watch as a kid.

You turn the sink off.

"I think not. Stick with me and follow my lead." you answer.

She follows you as you walk back out of the bathroom and into class, which has started up again. When your instructor sees you and Annabelle returning she stops the class again.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Yeah we're just going to take a walk. Fresh air might help." you say.

She nods her head at your request. You walk past her with Annabelle and head over to the coat rack. You pass Annabelle her's first. It goes right over her ballet gear, tutu included, and then you put yours on. Thankfully you don't have to wear a tutu to assist.

The two of you are out the door without a second thought. Annabelle grabs your hand as you walk down Main Street. You're headed to the only place where you get some semblance of relief these days.

it's short walk but the walk wasn't the idea. Getting Annabelle out a place that stresses her out to the point where she feels like she has to over perform and ignore her body is the idea.

Reefer's Records. The place wasn't the best to bring a child to after dark but theres plenty of sunlight out which means no weed is being sold in the store.

You push open the door and lead her inside. That's when you see Annabelle's eyes widen in wonder. Of course the place was highly decorated by someone who partakes in recreational use of a hallucinogen.

"Woah!" she shouts.

And then she's running off. Touching things and looking up at the wall which is painted all different colors.

The sound of beads clinging together is what you hear first, then you see him. Eddie Munson. I mean you would be remise to not think he was cute. The big brown eyes? The hair? You've only spoken to him once and you were sure it wasn't memorable to him.

Maybe you could change that?

You smile his way as he approaches.

"Hi I was wondering if you have rubberband man by the spinners?" you ask.

At first he doesn't say anything. The silence throws you off kilter for a second. But then he smiles and you can't help to smile and feel like things are not off kilter.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I got a couple of copies in the back-" he answers.

"I mean I want to listen to it." you cut him off.

He spares you a look.

"I'll buy the record but I, well I want you to play it in here." you explain.

Eddie looks past you and a curt laugh comes out of him. You turn to get a look at what he's laughing at. It's Annabelle. She's standing right in the middle of the store with her head craned up to the ceiling.

"Is she with you?" Eddie asks.

You nod your head. Then you turn back to him.

"She's having a hard time in class and I just want to show her that dancing can be fun." you answer.

"I can play it for you. Free of charge." he says.

"I don't want you to get in trouble or anything." you offer up.

"It's okay ballerina, I kinda run this place on weekdays." he gloats.

You laugh, "So you're the big boss around here on school days?"

"Yeah well when you put it like that it sounds egregious. Should I rescind my offer?" he jokes.

You know he's joking. But part of you feels bad and part of you is a bit hazy from being this close and talking to him for this long. You play it up and your hands land on his shoulders.

"I'll be forever in your debt if you do." you plead playfully.

His eyes are wider than before. You think you might have misstepped and crossed a line or a boundary. You don't know him well enough to be touching on him! You retract your hands like they were never there.

Eddie schools his face into a more normal expression. He points behind him with his thumb. You feel like an idiot.

"I'm gonna-spin the record for you. So your student can dance. I'm gonna do that now. Right now." he speaks.

"Thank you." you smile.

He then walks backwards the way he came. And in doing so almost knocks over a pile of records and a stack of papers on the counter. You don't think of him as ungraceful though, you think of him as cute.

When he's out of sight you walk over to Annabelle. She finally fixes her head down from the ceiling.

"I like it here." she comments.

"I knew you would. There's a song I think you'll like too." you say.

The speakers currently playing a rock song that you recognize as Metallica stops playing. There's a scratch and then the beat to rubberband man starts up.

You watch as Annabelle moves her shoulders to the bass line. The smile on her face starts slow but it's there. And it means that you made the right decision to bring her here and take her mind off class for a while.

"Can we dance?" she asks.

"Of course, but theres on rule:" you start and reach your hand out to her, "no ballet!"

"Yes!" she exclaims.

She takes your hand. The two of you being dancing wildly to the song. There is no right to dance to the spinners. As long as you move your feet and your heart is pounding to the tune of the beat. Nothing compares to being in sync with a great song.

That's how the two of you dance to the whole song. Back and forth, shuffling your feet, moving your arms and not caring that you didn't extend your leg or your fingers. No toes pointed. No plies. No turns.

Somehow at the end of the song you two end up doing the chicken dance. Her tutu making her play the role effortlessly. You stop yourself to watch her enjoy.

You don't hear the front door open. How could you? The song was still playing loudly in the store. Until it wasn't. Both of you and Annabelle out of breath and trying to catch oxygen in between fits of laughter.

"Hey ballerinas, how was-" Eddie shouts from the front of the store then stops.

You two look at him first. Then you two look to where he is looking, which was not at you, and at the front door. A group of people are standing there. Mostly teens but there are two older ones, around your age. You knew them instantly.

In an instant you recognize two of the younger girls in the group. how could you not? Max Mayfield is the only girl in town with hair as red as fire and Jane has an unforgettable face.

"Max? Jane?" you say out loud.

Like no time has passed at all, they come barreling over to you. They engulf both sides of you with a hug. You reciprocate and wrap your arms around both of them.

Max and Jane were two of about five girls you first taught as the unofficial assistant to the instructor. It was an unpaid role seeing as you were still in school and only clocking in two hours every other day. But it was fun, partly because of these two girls hugging you right now.

"I missed you guys! How have you been?" you ask them.

Jane looks up at you, "Good. We're doing skateboarding now."

"Ballet helped my form a lot. I can land a 180 now." Max says.

You smile at the admission. While you wished to still see the girls more you knew they were happy not doing ballet anymore. You're glad they found each other in class and never let go of that friendship.

"You know red?" a voice asks.

You look over at Eddie. He has a smile on his face. Max unwraps herself from you and casually walks over to him. You didn't know they knew each other. But then again Max has great music taste so it makes sense that they would get along.

"Yeah I used to teach her and Jane when I was a senior." you answer.

Jane unwraps her arms from around you. Then he walks over to one of the boys she came in with. The one with jet black hair. He looks over at you for a second, then turns his full attention to her.

"That's cool." another voice sounds.

You look back at the door. The other younger kids have dispersed around the music store. You finally can place the two older kids who are now walking over to you. Steve and Robin.

Robin was in the band during high school. You remember her specifically because you went to one basketball game and noticed how much her face screamed 'I don't want to be here' amongst the green and white uniforms. She was also the one to direct you when you wanted to buy a car, though it didn't end up working out.

Then there was Steve. Of course everyone knows Steve. But you remember Steve as being the first boy you kissed. It had been after someone's birthday party, Tina maybe, and you two had walked the same way home. Not that you two were located near each other but you had no one to walk with and he offered. All you can remember from that night is Steve, and how blue your tongues were from the slushy-drinks at the party.

You saw him at the dealership too since he and Robin work together. But you didn't talk to him that much when you went in there.

You realize it was Robin that made the comment.

"I use the term teaching loosely. But I do teach this one, sometimes." you say and reach your hand out for Annabelle.

She comes running to you, tiny hand grabbing yours. She smiles at you and then pushes her tutu down with both of her hands.

"Are there any classes for adults? I know I could use it for my back." Steve says.

You begin to wonder what happened to his back. But that was surely personal and not meant to be talked about in a music store. You hope he's okay.

"There are but I work with kiddies. I can ask if there are any slots open if you'd like." you offer.

Steve shakes his head, "Nah I'll probably ask one of the kids to walk over my back."

"I mean Argyle probably has something for that." Eddie sounds.

He joins the four of you. There's a look about him now. He's smirking at Steve and Steve is smirking back at him. Robin is also smiling but you and Annabelle are in the dark as to why.

"Car man!" Annabelle says randomly.

You look at her confused.

Steve laughs, "Yeah I work at the car place. Would you be interested in a Volvo?"

Annabelle giggles.

"I can't drive yet silly." she says.

"You sure? I think you're smart enough." Steve jokes.

Annabelle begins to laugh uncontrollably at this. Steve smiles and his teeth are all out on display and his eyes are hidden behind lines and lines of skin. You like the sight of it, of him.

"What're two ballerina's doing rocking out in the music store?" Robin asks.

You look down at Annabelle who's already looking at you. You shrug your shoulders and she does the same. Both of you look at the group.

"We wanted to do something fun." you answer.

Annabelle gasps and runs over to Eddie. As if the two had been friends before. The action surprises him and he almost buckles at the momentum of the tiny girl. But he laughs anyways.

He bends down and Annabelle is whispering something in his ear. He smiles and nods.

"I've got a request from the tiny dancer." he says.

Then he is walking with Annabelle, hand in hand, to the front of the store. You watch as the two of them sift through some records.

"Are you two-um..." you ask but you know it what it comes off as. You feel a little bit embarrassed at your forwardness.

All of a sudden both their faces morph into disgust. Robin starts talking at a hundred miles per hour. Something about 'not going to happen' and 'bathroom confession' and 'he's a good one but not her type'. Steve is more like a gaping fish.

Robin pats him on the shoulder and walks off. Which leaves just you and Steve. You decide to be brave and take a step forward. You're surprised when he does the same.

"I think we kissed once at a party." he says.

You can't help the chuckle that rolls out from your belly. You're glad he remembered because it would honestly hurt your ego a bit if he didn't.

"Yeah I remember that. I think I had red slushy tongue." you answer.

He nods, "I had blue. Good times."

You hum approvingly. Now you're hitting yourself over the head for not going back into the car place. While you didn't have enough money to buy anything with an engine you could've pretended to look, and possibly talked with Steve.

You want to say more. But out of no where music starts playing. You recognize the song instantly. That one song by the talking heads-the name is on the tip of your tongue!

"Naive Melody!" Steve says.

Annabelle comes running over to you two. And she comes and steals Steve away. You can't even be mad about it because it's so cute. She holds her out for him and he takes it. Annabelle was a very enchanting child, it's why she's your current favorite.

Steve and Annabelle start dancing together. You can't help how your heart warms. Maybe it's the light that reflects off the chipped disco ball and onto Steve's arm. Or how his hair bounces with every movement he makes.

You don't notice how Eddie strolls up and holds out his hand. When you do you have to pull your mind to focus. He's taken off his jacket and now his arms with tattoos are on display.

"Care to dance ballerina?" he asks.

You take his hand as an answer. The two of you start off slow, somehow Eddie starts doing the robot. You don't think he's danced in front of people before. He doesn't have that blanket of shame or guilt most people do when they have.

He's just free.

You join him. There is laughter all around the store. Sure enough you feel it. Like this must be the place where you can be happy. Not the physical space of Vecna Vinyl, but around people like Steve and Eddie.

Steve and Eddie.

Oh.

[pantheracatluv1105]

Nerdy prudes must die thoughts warning random Spoilers Read at your own risk these were just my thoughts as I watched

Opening scene makes me think tinkys gonna be the baddie this time around he's one of the most sadistic

Lots of little nods to nightmare time with the night hawks and grace chastity back again

Corey and Mariah being a father daughter duo again! slaps! Also the fact that she put her hand between her phone and a literal hammer and it seemed like something a teen would actually do ha scary how realistic that part was

Corey as Jason is fucken hilarious as the one nice himbo in the group of dumb jocks

BUTT STUFF BUTTER I MEAN BUTTER

The Cackle from the audience made my night

Dirty girl is gonna be stuck in my head for weeks but I won't be able to sing it out loud

The collective aww when poor Pete came out with that black eye so sweet starkid is really good at getting you invested in their characters

Angela as grace chastity is the best I love her she's so horrible and amazing

Did they name the Whalen house after Kim??

Kudos to the choreograper they are amazing and I love it so much just little moves that just really establish character I love the heart it brings

"Am i reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda"

oh fuck the homeless man reference definitely foreshadowing for twinky stuff being afoot maybe hopefully

Max is so dumb I love/hate him

Soo so so dumb

Boo hoo bitch haaaaaaa

Oooooh is max gonna haunt them !!!!

Kill count 💀 1

Bury the body also slaps and I also can't sing this in public without getting looks

Pete and Steph are cute together

Things are looking up but I don't think this is gonna last for long

Ooh the Clydesdale vs Hatchetfeild rivalry still going strong

On noooooooo he's gonna die he's alone !!!!!!! Never be alone in a horror musical the ohh no from the audience as they caught in too

Smoke club reference 👌😎 👌

The score holy fuck it hits I'm not a loser

Nightmare time theme wooo

Kill count 💀 2

The chair kick chefs kiss immaculate

Turtle Lauren 🐢 🐢 🐢

Ma brarbaque

The audiences reactions are one of the best parts of this

Ruuuuth why you gotta go by yourself love the solo but ya should've gone home with the rest of them

Also Lauren slays have I mentioned that she's amazing The whole cast is but I've always had a soft spot for her

The sadistic head pats ha

Kill count 💀 3

Kim's screams 😱 😍

Oh shitttttttttttttt the cop lady!! She's figuring shit out

Ballet flats and a gun 🔫 grace chastity people

PAUL AND EMMA PAUL AND EMMA PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!! MY BELOVEDS

Joey as hot chocolate boiiiiiiii

Sells women shoe- shoes Joey's little flub was hilarious

Steph being every lesbians dream

Also Steph and Pete's chemistry is adorable

LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS

Good luck getting a hold of her Does your phone plan cover calls to hell She's bisexual and dead where else would she be.

Holy fuck love that line I need that on a tshirt

Who am I...flops

Ohh shit what is up with that house 🏠 😳

Chairs clinking in the dark

Ooh church of the starry children were bringing it back love me some Lore drops

You can't touch him but he can touch you audience cackles

Ooooooooooooooooh THE BLACK BOOK MORE LORE!!!!!

Ooooooooooooh tinky tinky tinky time

I beg to differ bitch

Kill count 💀 5

Should stayed in Chicago cop lady

Kill count 💀 6 maybe?????

Love the lighting BTW the sound and lighting guys deserve all the praise

Who knows what kinda doors were gonna open

Singing the lords in blacks names dang I'm gonna need to memorize

WIGGGLYYYYYYY

The lords in black all together ❤️ love them

Pallywalls I guess it's not just tinky this time

The phone she cherishs it above all else haaa

Ooooooohhh nooooooooo she wants Pete nononononononononononononon

Pay the price or fuck off

Fuck she's gonna kill him nooooooo

I'm into you steph awwww I'm gonna cry 😢

The purple light is blinky still watching 👀??

They could have gone to homecoming together 😢😫

So you do know the Bible

Danmmm grace chastity lines all fucken slap

The slow step forward I love max the evil himbo ❤️

Grace is having sex with a fucken ghost 👻

The jump up on the bleachers he's amazing

So we get a happy ending I guess????

Awwwww Pete and Steph they did make it to homecoming after all

Kill count 💀 is 5 after all the cop lady survived

Love the homecoming number

Oh shittttttttt grace has gone off the rails love that for her

Welp it's done and I loved it

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 5 - FLUFF

jock-speak by brucewaynery

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 1,017 Tags: High School AU, Slow Dancing, Friends to Lovers

Summary: Steve, as with everything, dances gracefully, with the control and precision Tony's seen on the football pitch. It's enchanting, watching him fly across the dance floor, oblivious to the world, Tony's never been more in love.

Reasons why I love it: I have the sudden urge to see Steve do ballet with Nat. This fic is so sweet, I can see it like a little movie in my head when I read it. They're both such dorks, it's adorable. And the last two sentences always make me chuckle. Go and check this one out, it's wonderful!

The Great American Road Trip by SmileAndASong

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 4,030 Tags: Road Trip, Dramatic Tony, Camping

Summary: “You know, when you said you were going to take me on a romantic vacation, I sort of thought the transportation was going to be…well, not this,” Tony said, gawking at the monstrous RV in front of him because, wow, it sure was a sight to behold and definitely not in a good way. AKA, Steve coerces Tony into taking a cross-country road trip

Reasons why I love it: TONY NAMED AN ISLAND AFTER STEVE, I AM DYING. Sorry, this has almost nothing to do with the rest of the fic, but it's something that's lingered in my mind since I read this. I really love Tony's city boy mindset clashing with Steve's outdoorsy adventures, especially when the ending is this tooth-rottingly sweet. It's amazing, and I bet you'll love it just as much as I did!

Raindrops Like Roses by Auggusst

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 4,000 Tags: Rainy Days, Power Outage, Couch Sex

Summary: When the power in their apartment goes out on a rainy day, Steve and Tony reminisce about their chance meeting a few years ago and show each other a little TLC on the couch. Who knew power outages could be so romantic and sexy?

Reasons why I love it: I love that feeling of being inside watching the rain patter against the window, and this fic gives me that exact same feeling. It shows Tony and Steve's love for each other in quiet and subtle ways, which works really well for the setting. Even the smutty parts are fluffy as hell, it's great. I love this one, please go and check it out for yourself!

acceptable alien behaviours by brucewaynery

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 592 Tags: Established Relationship, Humor, Aliens

Summary: Tony stares in disbelief as their golden retriever puppy, Dodger, flies, honest-to-god flies towards Loki.

Reasons why I love it: Behold – Dodger the alien dog. This fic is the perfect little pick-me-up if you're feeling down, short and sweet and hilarious. Loki and Dodger's interaction cracks me up every time. Give it a read, I bet you'll love it just as much as I do!

Lead and I'll Follow by Woad

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 2,380 Tags: World War II, Dancing, Marvel Noir

Summary: Under orders, Captain Rogers prepares for a gala by taking dance lessons. He's not sure how Fury persuaded Adventurer Tony Stark to give said lessons, though.

Reasons why I love it: I never knew that I needed a fic about Marvel Noir Tony teaching Steve to dance, but I'm so glad I found this one. It's equal parts fluffy and hot, and I love how Steve's confidence grows as soon as he figures out Tony's motivations. This fic is great, and I hope you give it a shot!

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Hi I hope Im not too annoying bt I have two questions:

In Paz Lives AU would the kids have their own rooms or would they share them (if so, who with whom)? We already know the favorite colors of older children, and what are the favorite colors of Ada and Gunner that would prevail in their spaces?

What would Quaritch put in their rooms in Cabin/Blood Brothers (idk what to call it) AU if he kidnapped them (I mean something like Spider's easel and skateboard, Hunter's books)

Thank you in advance for your answer!

Not annoying at all! I like getting into the little detail too! It’s why Cabin is like 300 pages long and counting.

So first off no the kids wouldn’t share a room in the Paz lives Au. I ended up making the Quaritch-Socorro family home in the sims and it’s kinda a mansion. Not like an obnoxious one. I just made what I described in my writing ( both published and unpublished) and it’s a just a pretty big place. I’ve mentioned on other post that Quaritch is straight up a millionaire from decades of saving before him and Paz got together (can’t remember if I made a post where I broke down numbers or if I just did that in my head but I googled how much someone in Quaritch’s military position would make and the high end was $200,000 a year. Before he married Paz he basically lived like someone making 1/8 of that, so would have been able to save enough to be a millionaire in like 6 years). The house was built with the intent of having at least one other kid, and having guest rooms for their squad mates so yeah they’ve got plenty of space.

Ada in my mind is a totally unapologetic girly girl, and loves pink. She likes to dance and makes art like her brother, so I imagine Quaritch mounted a small ballet barre onto the wall, and loaded up her desk with plenty of craft supplies.

Gunner is kinda a jock. He loves to play soccer (note, I’m American so when I say soccer I’m talking about what everyone else rightfully calls football) so his room as posters from his favorite team, his soccer ball, knee pads, and books on technique so he can improve without a coach. His favorite color is orange but not a bright shade of it, more of a cozy burnt orange color.

Thank you for the questions! 💞

[lcvclywon]

wish u were sober and so high school are he was a jock and she did ballet's songs. like i can full on see jake listening to wish u were sober on the way back to his dorm after practice after that drunken confession and oh my god "you know how to ball i know aristotle" it's them.... i love my babies

[ariesbilly]

The Duffers give off the vibe that they’ve never been to a high school before. Like granted, I was homeschooled through high school, but I went to homeschool co-ops (basically a bunch of parents would teach certain classes), and yeah we had cliques, but the “king and queen of Hawkins high” feels like something straight out of a Disney movie.

Also like, none of their “popular” teens act like they’re popular? Like Steve is supposed to be the King, and to me that would imply he’s constantly out throwing parties and getting into trouble and breaking hearts. But the one time we see him as king, he just,,, has three friends over and they do dumb teen stuff? He gets really emotionally wrapped up in his girlfriend?

And don’t get me started on Billy. His popularity would have lasted maybe a month. Yeah, he’s the new guy from California and he’s gorgeous, but the novelty would have worn off after a month. Billy’s from a lower-income family, based on their house. He’s a metalhead. He pushes the envelope a lot for a small, likely conservative town like Hawkins.

I’m from a huge ass city and went to a big ass high school so admittedly I do not know how things work in small towns/schools. Like when it came time to vote for prom king and queen I literally knew not a single name on the ballet 😂 the only popular kids I knew where the ones I had shared classes with for years. The other popular kids? Never heard of them.

But also like…the few jocks and shit I did know we’re chill? They were the class clowns and everyone actually liked them. And like I knew cheerleaders in drama club there was a lot of intermingling going on.

I get that a conservative town in the 80s would be a whole different vibe but like you said, steve at his height of popularity has like 3 friends? Lmfao I think he made reference to throwing parties before but his dad got pissed right? So maybe that explains why he stopped throwing crazy ones.

Billy in that environment absolutely would not have lasted as popular nor can I imagine HIM being the one all these conservative ass moms flock to like realistically the satanic panic should’ve started with him lmao I don’t think the duffers fully realized how offensive metal music is to that crowd I mean hell I went through my whole emo phase in the mid 00s and my grandma was constantly going on about me being “goth” and worshipping the devil. The duffers just wanted to focus on dacre being hot and expected us to ignore ever other detail about billys personality because if you think about it for even one second shit quickly starts not adding up

And this is not even touching upon how realistically HE would’ve been most likely hate crimed by some neil-like figure around town dressing and primping himself the way he does (I mean billys normal everyday attire is pretty basic but I can imagine him standing in the beauty aisle of Melvads and some guy making a slick comment)

But anyway… we’re not meant to think too deeply about any of this because stranger things is a very surface level show so

[underoossss]

the way you move - s.h – 3

pairing: jock!steve harrington x ballerina!reader

warnings: language, brief s4 mention, some angst

words: 1.5k

an: part 3 is here and they’re so so close to jumping! this hurt a bit to write but hurt comfort with Steve is always so wonderful to write. I hope you like this! Please let me know if you 💕✨

part 2

✰✰✰✰

There’s only been a few times when Steve’s felt helpless. One of them, that incident in the Upside Down. Even now, he’s sure he would’ve died if it wasn’t for his friends getting the bats off him. It had been hard to breathe or think back then, but he eventually found his footing once he had help and that allowed him to defend himself too.

Now though, he’s truly helpless. You’re crying in his arms, and he doesn’t know what to do.

It had been a normal day, a happy day even. Steve woke up and got ready for the day, then after a quick coffee and breakfast he set off to pick you up. You had ballet class at 11am as you did every Saturday and there had been a skip to Steve’s step at the thought of seeing you again. So he arrived to your house and picked you up at your door, hugging you close and breathing you in for a moment before leading the way to his car a big smile on his face as a result of your own.

You’d been excited all week for your teacher would be announcing the parts assigned for the nutcracker after Saturday practice. Steve had his fingers crossed so you’d get to be the fairy, not only for his own benefit of seeing you dance front and center at the theater, but for your happiness. You’d worked hard, never once complaining even as your feet hurt while you prepared to audition. Today you’d find out for sure though but showed no sign of nerves as you talked animatedly with Steve in the car.

Then that Bad Boys Blue song you love had played and the two of you sang along, off-key but happy; you, pretending to know French for some of it and Steve laughing at your ridiculousness. A warm feeling had fallen over Steve, and he knew he’d just fallen in love again with you. It happened every day, and when the studio was on sight, Steve was grateful to see it. Another moment with that smile of yours next to him and he would have done something stupid like kiss you silly.

Once at the parking lot, the two of you had bundled up for the cold weather and crossed the street to the studio. Then upon noticing Madame Laverne wasn’t there yet, Steve followed you inside where he leaned against the mirror and smiled while you got ready for class. You’d been wearing that black open-back leotard he loves on you, with a lilac chiffon skirt wrapped around your waist. The probable wrath we could have faced from your teacher had been worth it then, to see you look so pretty in front of him. When you heard a car park outside the studio, you’d ushered him out, laughing and smiling when Steve picked you up and spun you around in farewell. You’d bashfully said goodbye, knowing all eyes were on you and self-indulgently Steve placed a gently kiss on your cheek.

But then after practice, the day took a turn for the worse. You weren’t the sugar plum fairy, Agatha Francis was.

Steve had to give you credit for being an excellent actress though. He had no idea of what’d happened when he picked you up later that day. You’d left the studio with a bright smile, said goodbye to some of your classmates and skipped to his car where he had the passenger door already open and waiting for you. Steve assumed you were given the role you wanted, with how happy you looked. But when you wouldn’t meet his eyes and silently buckled your seatbelt, he began to wonder if something went wrong.

As he drove out of the parking lot, he glanced at you in worry. “Everything okay, babe? How did it go?” He’d asked and your happy façade vanished.

Big tears began cascading down your face and you pressed your lips together when they began to tremble. “Awful.” You’d whispered between tears, “awful, Stevie.”

It broke Steve’s heart, especially when he offered his hand out to you and you clung to it as he drove you home.  It wasn’t until you’d arrived at your house and Steve walked inside with you, that you let yourself crumble. The weight of your disappointment sat heavy on your hunched shoulders, and you let your bags fall on the floor in favour of hugging your arms around yourself. It tore Steve to pieces to see you like that and it filled him with another level of protectiveness he didn’t know he had.

“Oh baby, come here.” Steve gathered you in his arms, which is where you’re now. Your body curled up against his chest, legs over his thighs with your face hidden under his chin. Your cries don’t seem to stop, the disappointment you’re feeling overflowing in the form of cascading tears.

“They don’t know talent.” Steve huffs against your hair, feeling angry beyond words for you but keeping calm to help you. “You would’ve been a better fairy, beautiful. You know that.”

“I’m not good enough for that Stevie, they made it clear.” You sniffle between words, hugging him tighter and trying to make yourself smaller. Your voice breaks in between your next words and it hurts Steve even worse than a physical punch ever could.  “I’m playing a petal. A petal.”

“Then you’re going to be the best petal there ever was,” Steve’s voice is quiet but fierce with honesty as he holds you closer and kisses a spot above your brow. Fuck them for making his girl feel like this, no one gets to do that. “They won’t know what hit them.”

You shake your head against his chest, but Steve continues earnest in his reassurance. This isn’t like you, to get stuck in a negative mindset but then he supposes it’s hard not to be when your dream role was snatched away right in front of you. “They’re going to look at you and say, ‘why wouldn’t they make her the sugar plum fairy, that petal is so beautiful and talented the play should be about her.’”

When a weak laugh escapes you, Steve finally feels like he can breathe a little easier and his shoulders relax the tiniest bit. “Come on, look at me.” His thumb and index finger hook under your chin gently, bringing your gaze to his. You meet his eyes hesitantly and Steve gives you a small smile he hopes can comfort you.

“Their decision says nothing about you,” Steve whispers softly as he wipes the tears that have cascaded down your cheeks. “They lost the most talented lead. Let them bore people to death with Agatha, it’s their loss. Babe, you’re too talented to believe their choice has anything to do with whether you’ve got it.”

“Told you Agatha’s Madame Laverne’s favourite.” You murmur, brows meeting in the middle as you look away from his searching eyes. Yes, you’d told him so a while ago, right after you told him Agatha said you shouldn’t get your hopes up. God, no wonder you’re so hurt, you think she was right.

Steve kisses the wrinkle between your eyebrows away, not giving any second thought to you perceiving all the affection pouring out of him. “You’re mine.” He smiles brightly and is rewarded with the most beautiful teary smile of yours in return. “Okay? You’re my favourite; I’ll cheer so loudly for you they’ll kick me out.”

His words have the intended effect, they make you laugh despite your red eyes. They fall closed while you throw your head back. When your laughter fades you look at him, soft and teary eyes vulnerable with an ocean of affection. And Steve… he feels lightheaded with love, it takes all his willpower not to kiss you right there.

“You’re everything, Stevie.” You whisper as you look into his eyes, amazement and something terribly close love shining in the tears that gathered in your eyes. “You’re everything.” With a shake of your head, you lean closer and hug him tightly again. A wave of love bigger than a tsunami washes over Steve when you do, both of your hearts synchronizing immediately.

If he had any doubt your feelings weren’t the same as his, they’re close to none now. What he’s feeling is all-consuming and powerful; and it must be because it’s mutual. The very thought of it makes his heart skip several beats which he ignores to hold you close. He’ll hold you as close as you want, for as long as you want, because you’re everything too. His everything.

✰✰✰✰

Part 4

reblogs are always appreciated!

masterlist

[sarenhale]

where does everyone from the Order land on a 3x3 Jock⇅Nerd / Prep⇆Goth -grid?

A high concentration of Jocks and one (1) prep... I also enjoy how Jacek being Punk and Ollie being Prep is basically 'He was a Punk, she did ballet'

[andromedaexists]

Andi I have 0 spoons rn for thinking so pretend I sent you an emoji for that lgbt ask that you REALLY want to answer and I will listen like that Spiderverse meme 💕💕💕

lmaoooo hi Alex!! i fully understand and i hope you get some good good rest, you deserve it <3

in the meantime, i've been eyeing this question:

💙 - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize ‘That’s me!’ Or did you consider yourself a ‘really good ally’ for some time?

because hooo boy do i have a story for you

So, imagine if you will a little baby Andi. Like 14 years old, just starting high school at this big fancy STEM+M school. I didn't know what I was doing or how I got there, I was just a simple country kid from a town of 2,000 people. I was considered a nerd at my home school and a jock at this new school, everything was out of whack.

I had also just gotten out of a really really toxic relationship. Like, I was The Goth Cheerleader™️ at my home school and I was dating the quarterback kind of toxic relationship.

Actually, touching on that a bit more. I was a cheerleader. Not only that, but I was one of the best cheerleaders on that squad. I had years of dance (Ballet, Hip Hop, and Jazz) behind me and it showed on the field. I was goth (i still kinda am tho i blend the line between goth and punk and don't care about labels anymore) at the time and hyper feminine. Hair down to my mid-back, over the top makeup every day, the whole nine yards. Only, I fucking hated wearing the cheerleading uniform and i never knew why (keep this in mind lmaooo)

So back at school. I had no idea what I was doing but I ended up going to my school's GSA. I knew that my best friend that I had known since we were 5 was gay (tho not out at the time) and the new friends i was making at this school were... queer? i didn't know what that meant, i obviously had a lot to learn

I was in that GSA for about a year before the president (a trans man) sat me down after one of our meetings and asked if he could talk to me. we started off just chatting about life and why i joined the GSA ("I want to be a good ally to my friends! I have a lot to learn!") before we started talking about gender and gender presentation.

Turns out normal girls don't vehemently despise their cheerleading uniform. Nor do normal girls get squicked when their boyfriends say that they can, in fact, feel their boobs in a hug. Nor to girls do everything in their power to wear oversized clothes that hide every single overdeveloped curve on their body. That day, that trans man asked me "are you sure that you are a girl?". That day started the two year long gender crisis that ended up with me coming out at trans.

So yeah, when i first saw the queer community, i fully thought i was a straight ally. baby me would be so confused to see me now

[asoftvoice]

home

summary: you don't have a home. until you meet Chris, that is.

warnings: mean parents, insecurity, high school au but both chris and reader are 18, jock!chris, if i've missed anything, let me know and i will fix it :)

pairing: jock!chris evans x female!reader

you didn’t have the best home life. you’d never had. your parents fought constantly, and anything you did that was less than perfect was criticized and your self confidence was always at an all time low because of it, and the worst part was that you were sure your parents didn’t even notice the effect it was having on you. all they cared about was their image, and having a perfect family, but more importantly, a perfect daughter. 

Chris, however, had a great home life. even though his parents were divorced, he was still loved, appreciated, and praised no matter what. because of how great his home life was, he had a suspicious feeling you didn’t. 

being a jock, you weren’t the type of girl Chris usually went for. you weren’t a cheerleader or popular. you kept to yourself, focused on your studies. anything to make your parents proud, and to show them that you were worthy of being their daughter, and worthy of having their love. 

and honestly? Chris didn’t go into a friendship with you for a relationship. he went into a friendship with you because of how quiet and timid you were, and of course, the english project that you two were assigned. 

before the project came up, he had never spoken to you. but stopping you in the hallway to ask about when and where the two of you could work on it, he realized that you were what was missing from his life. 

he had plenty of friends. he was on the football team for crying out loud, and that alone came with companionship formed through a common interest. but there was something about connecting with someone you never thought you would that appealed to the jock as he walked away from your locker, your number in his phone, and a red tinge to his cheeks.

the first meeting for the project went well. better than either of you had expected. there was no awkwardness, no tension. you two liked immediately, and had formed a friendship within barely 24 hours of knowing each other. Chris’s view on you had changed by the time you’d left his house. you were timid, and barely spoke, but when he got to know you, he found that you were smart, utterly understanding, and beautiful. so, so beautiful.

you had thought that the second the project was over, he’d go back to ignoring you. he’d go back to his friends on the football team, and you’d go back to enduring the pain and anguish you experienced on a daily basis, with you being nothing more than a memory in his mind. 

however, you realized just how foolish that idea was when he came into English the day after the group project had been handed in, and asked if you wanted to come to his game that night. 

‘i have an extra ticket,’ he’d said. ‘normally Ma comes, but she has a late meeting today and won’t make it.’ 

you’d accepted the ticket apprehensively, but had decided to give the game a shot. you’d never been, so what was the harm in going? even if you hated it, it gave you a reason to prolong going home. on top of that, it was senior year, and you wanted the last few months of high school to be fun.

to your surprise, you had fun. you’d sat with his brother, Scott, who you knew and were on good terms with. both go you were in last years production of your favourite musical, with you playing the lead, and Scott playing a supporting role. you two had spoken a few times, but weren’t best friends by any means. but after the game? you could certainly see the two of you forming a close friendship. 

another thing you’d noticed at the game was Chris. he was attractive, you had eyes for goodness sakes. but something shifted in you, and in the way you viewed Chris that night. seeing him run across the field with the agility of a ballet dancer, you realized just how much you wished that you were his. 

you wished that you were wearing his varsity jacket, like all the other girlfriends were. you wished that when the game ended, he would come running up to you, and press a warm and captivating kiss to your lips. it was as if he’d planted a seed of himself in your very consciousness, and each time you thought about him, the seed grew. 

you’d thought it was one sided. that it was a harmless little crush, and that you and Chris would be nothing more than good friends. 

once again, you were proved wrong. 

he’d started inviting you out everywhere with him. to games, home and away. to the movies with his friends, to the store when his mom had sent him out for some essentials, and most recently, on a walk through the small forest in your town, which was bookended by a park. 

the two of you had walked off the path, in favour of exploring the area. you’d found yourselves on a small bench, hidden by the trees and other plants in the area, and he did something that surprised you. 

he asked you about you. 

normally, people didn’t care about you when they spoke to you, but you should have realized by now that Chris was different. 

he’d opened up to you about his life. about his 3 siblings, his parents divorce, and how it felt finding out he had 3 younger siblings that were hidden from him. you’d expressed your sympathy, smiling when a light pink was dusted across his cheeks and nose, accentuating his freckles. 

then, he’d asked you about you. about your life, your parents. you’d tried to avoid speaking about your parents, but one glance in his blue eyes had you spilling everything about your life,  about what was going on at home. 

Chris was alarmed. how could someone be mad, and let alone scream at, someone like you? you were so timid, and sweet. just the thought of you made him smile on his worst days, and he woke up every morning, excitement swirling in his belly, because he would get to see you. 

he’d get to see the girl that he was falling for, and couldn’t find it in himself to deny it. the girl that had him questioning his fashion choices before leaving the house, and the girl that his eyes found in the bleachers when he was feeling stressed during a game. the girl that consumed every one of his thoughts. the girl that he wanted to be his. 

he didn’t know what to say, either. what could he say to someone going through what you were, when he had never gone through something like that himself? there were so many things he wanted to tell you, but they caught on his tongue, making him tongue tied. 

instead, he found himself reaching an arm around you, and bringing you close to his chest. ‘actions speak louder than words,’ his Ma had always told him. 

“i’m sorry you’re going through that,” he’d whispered into your temple. “you don’t deserve that.” he willed the words to etch into your brain, so that you’d know just how much he meant them. 

instead of a smile that he was hoping for, his statements were met with a shrug, and then a sentence that made his heart drop and smash into a thousand pieces.

“i just have to work harder,” you said. “i just have to prove myself to them, that’s all.” 

Chris shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together. he moved away from you for a moment, in order to see your face and ensure he had your full attention. 

“no,” he said, quietly. “no. you shouldn’t have to earn a parents love. parents are supposed to love your children unconditionally, no matter what happens. it’s so wrong that you can’t see how amazing you are.” he whispered, tears welling up in his own eyes.

upon seeing that, it was your hearts turn to break. 

“‘m sorry,” you whimpered, feeling ashamed that you’d made him upset. it was never your goal to make him upset or to hurt him, but you had anyways. “i-i didn’t mean to upset you,” you said. “i’ll just be-“ 

“no,” he whispered, sniffing slightly. his fingers grasped your chin and pulled your face towards him. “no. don’t apologize. don’t you ever apologize for opening up to me, or to anyone. you’re amazing, you know that?” he said, letting a tear fall from his eye as yours welled up too.

“you’ve-“ Chris stuttered. he had so many things he wanted to say, yet he didn’t know how to vocalize any of them. “you’ve amazed and astounded me since the moment i asked for your number. you’ve consumed every single one of my thoughts. you’ve changed me, and my perspective in such a short time of knowing you. you don’t know how badly i want to be yours, how badly i want to hold you. how badly i want to wrap you in bubblewrap and keep you close because this world doesn’t deserve you.” 

he cooed as your tears spilled on to your cheeks, his hands moving to cup your cheeks, his thumbs wiping away your tears. he rested his forehead against yours, and sighed. “you deserve the world, and if you’ll let me, i’ll try my fucking hardest to give it to you.” he whispered, pulling back slightly. 

you gazed up into his eyes, searching and scanning for any hint of a lie, but you found nothing but love, admiration, and truth behind his baby blue orbs. 

“okay,” you whispered so quietly that Chris almost missed it. 

“okay?” he repeated, a smile breaking you on his face, his breath brushing against your lips, sending tingles throughout your skin. you nodded with a giggle, and bit down on your lip. “you’ll be mine?” he asked. “you’ll be my girlfriend?” 

“yeah.” you whispered, your eyes falling to his smooth, pink lips that always looked so kissable, but looked even more so in the afternoon light casting through the leaves of a tree beside you. 

Chris exhaled, the breath warming your lips, before the heat of his breath was replaced with the heat of his lips. you gasped slightly as Chris’s lips slid across yours, claiming you as his.

his hands slid down your sides as he reluctantly pulled away, his lips swollen and more red than before. you let out an involuntary shiver, the warmth of his breath and lips no longer warming you. 

“here,” Chris whispered, pulling off his varsity jacket, and draping it around your shoulder. “there, it’s home.” he said, his right hand cupping your cheek again, before he leaned in for another kiss. 

you may not have a home, but Chris was quickly becoming that home, that safe space that you craved. that you needed.