#he's put in his time like he is allowed to be petty for pettiness's sake at this damn rate

[unproduciblesmackdown]

working off a presumption that winston gets sent off in the first quarter of the season, Also presuming that it's not simply like as fond in-universe as possible (e.g. reluctance all around, a nice chat with taylor, kiss on the head, etc) b/c like, nobody ever gets that, & even though it's more possible re: finales, again, just Presuming winston sure won't get that:

ofc possible that it's decided that the Conclusion for winston's character ought to be an "answer" to his being autistic, but interpreted both in & out of universe as oh this person is inconsiderate, arrogant, hostile, etc. so that is just finally allowed to "catch up with him" and like seize any conflict or grievance anyone has with him as the excuse to push him out, pwning him one last time b/c he refused to Learn His Lesson & either become allistic or just essentially see himself out, either by quitting or shutting up forever

but imo it would obviously be more fun at all if the Conclusion for his character is instead focused on the also more substantial "if a character is on billions their life has gone awry; they have shown up with their [problems] suitcase at the [more problems] sunk cost factory" wherein like....winston's autistic, he's trying to be valued as a person by being valued for his quanting, and this whole time he's been succeeding Enough at that in that he was hired & hasn't yet actually been fired, but like, probably actually nobody's working back from [begrudgingly valuing winston's quanting] to valuing winston himself, even also begrudgingly....you've got rian wringing "value" from him more generally b/c by & large their moments of friendship seem to just be something she wants to take from him in those specific moments, check back 5 seconds later & that may have stopped being true & she'll be lashing out b/c What Matters is that this is all on her terms serving what she wants, which is also winston's (& anyone's) relationship with their role in his job overall. rian's above him in their own social duo, also as an employee in tmc, everyone else wherever he works are also always above him socially/professionally....i know it was like oh too busy to film much and we can't really come up with an explanation so winston's just absent from tmc get-togethers in s4 w/o anyone speaking of it at all, but like, forever whew ouch the Verisimilitude that aligns anyways like. of course he'd just unspoken collective agreement be singularly excluded

anyways to this end we Know he's not going to get an ending of finally finding [ppl have liked/valued him as a person b/c he convinced them to want to try b/c they like/value his quanting :) ] like that's never a guarantee for anyone, the [irl autistic ppl trying to "make up for" the dislike / rejection they garner for being nd by being a Good Co/worker] just leading to having to quit / be fired b/c of burnout anyways and nobody cares....there'll be some extra shit in the mix to be sure, but what i'm saying is like, if winston just Does cause a Problem on his way out out of pettiness, out of [ruin everyone's day this once like how has been done to him fifty thousand times] out of [make people pay attention to His Work(tm) b/c they won't pay attention to Him even in the end here] out of [just being pissed & getting any revenge by even like doing the equivalent of taking a not precisely aimed huge swing at mpc as a Fuck You that anyone will have to care about / exert any energy over, vs that if winston himself just expresses Fuck You interpersonally then nobody would care & would just ignore him as he left]

point is like i wouldn't be mad if he gets petty at Anyone b/c like uh, yeah. singled out at Taylor would ofc be a downer but like, if they actually get to interact about it? that'd be Something, for sure, and we're never guaranteed something. he has plenty of cause to be hostile to rian b/c to the end here she's decided to be [the person who hurts him, deliberately, continually], all while getting preferential treatment from the person he's Really been here for the whole time, just as salt in that wound even if rian didn't choose that part entirely on her own. could definitely anticipate it at least being marginally more enjoyable than what's easily expected: winston only getting some unceremonious sendoff in the midst of a scene about other shit, with everyone getting to immediately completely move on

all of this ofc about like, pretending like oh whatever billions does with winston cannot hurt me. but also not Really pretending that, and also it already has lol, i'm frustrated & annoyed as i have been abt things we've learned like [hip hooray rian and dollar bill on the trading floor. what bliss] and [nobody will mention that william exists or has ever existed behind the scenes like ugh please] and that [victor's staying power is so so annoying too just like it was when are you kidding we're getting rid of bonnie instead of him? kill me] but like. it'll hurt me and i'm just bracing to roll with that and it's also been about already clocking in at the [ow. ouch] factor abt this shit Ahead of time lol, you can't have just flipped some switch....but i also know billions may not just completely let us down & may even give us fuckall, and that knowledge is also further setup for pain lol. Can't truly have zero hopes, unforch. but also whatever also begrudging forch b/c like, we do have fun. i have my hater energy but it's not genuine but it also is lol like leave me to my galaxy brain idiosyncratic exact experience that i am having, as [we are not the same] w/frustrations & grievances as w/delights & revelations (when you are reveling in something)

basically it's like, i Would rather that the [quantessence] of winston's character be His emotional hangups that are required to even be on the show, namely, an autistic person desperate for recognition of his personhood through "merit" fruitlessly proffered to offset his rejection, or, as stated, to indeed at least be Needed so that he can have the like bare begrudging hollow inclusion of [being allowed in the building, literally], and have the "resolution" of this issue even being, very billions aptly, simply to be forced to give up on / let go of / have taken from you the means to keep acting on that motivation as you have been: for winston, naturally, having this job, working for taylor as Thee taylor mason loyalist, and understander, and supporter....all that, rather than centering Everyone Else's Hangups abt hating & rejecting an autistic person. tragically, can't put it fully past billions to not prioritize any & all other characters, and at winston's expense, basically just as has been happening to winston in-universe the whole time (& already out of it, like, where are his little arcs even just for fun? where is his being allowed to talk to taylor, or like, in general? where is he in most of s7, now? you didn't have to send him off early at all.) but also can't put it fully past billions to suddenly devote thought & effort to the character, god forbid that truest conduit for our hopes & dreams manifest which is that, if nothing else, winston gets to say something to taylor that they listen to b/c they choose to actually consider things he says, even though, indeed, they don't "have to," 4x11 to 4x12, through tears "Q is for Quantitative, babey," for sure. and even this time make it clearer that's obviously what happened, though like, there is fuckall on this show that can be made "clear" to the whole audience out here so yknow. at the same time like as though someone couldn't go "for the wynnstans" like look all the audience who also doesn't devote a neural spark to winston no matter what is not gonna care either way. but i will care so much forever. already i will probably be thinking "winston dick energy" every day for the rest of my life

you may notice as i have that i'm basically like gee billions would be fun if you at all gave winston material about him being a person in his own right rather than solely getting in one more Use of him as whatever object resource plot device for other characters' [being a person] like. would it count if (this will not happen) rian has to think about how what it means for her as a person that she Hasn't been treating winston as a person? eh, that's sure indirectly anything i guess. taylor's our best bet, someone who has already listened to winston & talked to him person to person & understood him & whom he's here for, & because of, & etc. tuk is winston's friend for real but he probably won't get to do anything, it'd be fun if idk they hug, or are confirmed to continue to hang out & get laid together, or wave & smile across the room, or anything. really obviously would go off the rails do anything blast off for the winnie n tay but you know. here we are, forever, doing it for them

[emphistic]

Revelation

A/N: i must finish this series before it finishes me. this is also only my second time writing on laptop instead of my phone.

<- Series m.list

Sukuna wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this.

It came natural to him — talking to you, I mean.

“Hello?” you asked, putting him on speaker. You didn’t bother moving your phone to your ear, your roommate slept over at her boyfriend’s last night anyway. So you had the apartment to yourself.

A deep, raspy voice answered on the other line with a quick, “Hey,” and you assumed he had probably only woken up a few minutes before he called you.

“Do you . . . need something?” You had to admit, this was quite odd. It was rare for Sukuna to call you so early in the morning, after all, your tutoring sessions were usually in the evening or right after Sukuna got off of basketball practice, which was never before 4pm.

“I’m supposed to need something now? What if I just wanted to talk to you?”

“. . .” You almost dropped your phone on the tiles of the kitchen floor; your silence told Sukuna everything he needed to know.

“What, don’t tell me I can’t talk to my favorite tutor?” His voice held a mischievous tone to it, and the expression painted on his face was no different.

“I’m your only tutor, dickhead.”

Sukuna feigned a sigh, and you almost pitied him for a second. “I just, y’know, miss hearing the voice of the prettiest girl on campus—”

“Sukuna, don’t—don’t do that. Especially not to me.” Chance no. 1 — Those words and the tone in which you uttered them almost made Sukuna think back on the whole bet. If only he had. If only he had listened.

“Do what?”

“You know what.”

“Why not?”

“For fuck’s sake, Sukuna, don’t play coy. It is eight in the morning—”

“I’m serious, though. I just want to talk to you, it’s, ah, lonely over here.” Sukuna twirled a pen he picked up from his nightstand between his fingers.

Lonely? Lonely? Sukuna was lonely? Yeah, he had to be playing with you or something. “Where’s that girl you posted on your story last night then, hm? Was she not up to your liking, Ryomen?”

“Don’t even start.”

You laughed. Sukuna smiled; in all honesty, he really did miss your voice. He had neither seen nor heard from you in days. Coach had been kicking him in the ass lately, telling him to do this and do that, and the injury on his shoulder was really starting to take a toll on his body. He wasn’t allowed to work out, much less, even play ball.

“Are you really serious though? Like, deadass?”

Sukuna paused, before answering moments later. “Why the hell would I not be? Yuuji’s out of town with some of his friends, so I have no one to bother, and no games for a while, either. This is the first time I’ve had — what did you call it? — a lazy morning.”

You couldn’t stifle your giggle. “Is that all you care about? No Yuuji and no basketball?”

“. . . I also have no food in the fridge . . . so that’s that, I guess.”

“Oh, my God! You being miserable is not supposed to be this funny. I can’t.” Sukuna could still hear your laughter loud and clear from the other line even after you set your phone down to clutch your stomach in hysteria.

“How rude of you, Madame President.”

When you realized how casually you were speaking to Sukuna — out of all people, you abruptly regained your composure, and cleared your throat. Yeah, sometimes either you or Sukuna would crack a joke or two during a tutoring session, but you two rarely held a civil conversation without it breaking out into a petty fight or argument about something trivial. So this was certainly new. And, you were also fairly surprised with how natural it felt, as if this was totally normal, and you totally weren’t speaking to the biggest nuisance and bane of your existence.

However, this also wasn’t the first nor last phone call you two would ever have. And usually, speaking while separated also helped keep the peace between you both.

“Are you stable now?” Sukuna teasingly questioned.

Your voice cracked, “Mhm.”

“Good.” Then, he hung up. That was it. That was it. Chance no. 2 — Sukuna should’ve just left it at that. He should’ve never called you another morning, or another evening. But no, he was determined to prove Naoya Zen’in wrong. He could do this. But. . . He shouldn’t do this. And that made all the difference.

Maybe it was a bad idea to immediately start his car and drive to your complex. Maybe it was a bad idea to knock three times, sparing only a glance at the number on your door: 116. Maybe it was a bad idea to enter your apartment. Maybe it was a bad idea. Then again, you were the one who let him in — in the first place. It was a bad idea.

“You said you were hungry, right? I’m making breakfast right now. Wan’ some?”

He should’ve shook his head no, and said, “My fridge is empty. But I’m not hungry,” but he didn’t. Sukuna stayed over for three hours. You two spent the morning sharing a stack of pancakes, and spoke in hushed tones — not for any specific reason — over cups of coffee.

But that wasn’t all. Sukuna began calling you almost every morning after that day. At first, it was an inconvenience, as most of your meetings were in the early hours, but you two came to a compromise and only spoke on the phone for as long as it took you to change your clothes and get ready to leave. However, unbeknownst to you, Sukuna also took the time out of his day. Though it wasn’t much, Sukuna skipped out on his morning jogs to hear your voice. It didn’t matter, anyway, because Coach wasn’t going to let him run if he had a say in this. But he didn’t.

The bet stayed in the back of his mind. Sukuna rarely thought about it. At times, most times, really, it didn’t feel like a bet or a dare or a joke, to Sukuna. It felt real. It felt like he was actually talking to and hanging out with a real person. He was talking to and hanging out with you. And he was enjoying it.

But when Naoya called, and asked for them to meet up after school, Sukuna automatically knew what that little mutt wanted. They agreed on a small diner, close to campus, and not too far from their gymnasium. It was rough, downtrodden, and looked too old to still be running. Nevertheless, no one was supposed to see them here anyway, so it worked.

“Have you two hung out yet?”

The memory of having breakfast at your place was not a distant memory, so Sukuna didn’t mention it. “Not out of school.”

“I assume progress has been slow, then?”

“We’ve started talking more than usual.” Sukuna silently reminisced about all the nights you spent on call together, when either of you couldn’t fall asleep, and about all the mornings you spent eating breakfast together, when Sukuna’s fridge was, like always, empty. But he didn’t mention any of those things.

“You seem to be enjoying this, y’know. I saw the way you dropped her off at her Student Council meeting, don’t think I didn’t.”

Sukuna frowned, but the blond continued.

“You had a smile on your face.” 

That, he did.

“If you don’t hurry up and get her to go out with you, I’m calling off the bet. Money’s gone. No prize, nothing. Make up your mind. Go through with this, or, like the pussy you are, forfeit,” Naoya spat out; his tone was far from benevolent, did Sukuna forget about how this all started in the first place? Chance no. 3 — Sukuna should’ve ended the deal right then and there. But he didn’t; if Naoya thought Sukuna was going to back out of this unsuccessful, he thought wrong.

“You seem to have forgotten who was the pussy in the first place, dumbass. I’ll forfeit when I die.”

“We’ll see about that, Ryomen. We’ll see.”

It was later than usual when Sukuna called you that night, and exhaustion was evident in his voice.

-

“You’re telling me, that, you’ve started hanging out with SUKUNA!?”

“Nobara, shh! At this point, the whole building’s going to know.”

“They should know! This is revolutionary! My friend’s getting laid!”

You shot her a pointed expression.

“Alright, alright, let me just tone it down a bit, my bad, because I’m totally not shocked that my best friend is now talking civilly with the man of her NIGHTMARES!” Her pitch gradually got louder and higher as she continued with her sentence. You curled up into a ball on the floor of your shared living room as the brunette paraded around the apartment waving her arms about and screaming in intervals of only two seconds.

“And, and, not only that, he’s also asking you OUT?!”

“Nobara, oh, my God.”

“‘Oh, my God’ is right. This is — I don’t even know what to say — is this good? Is this great? Are we excited? Are we friendzoning him? What’s—what’s the situation here, girl? Fill me in a little more.”

“Oh, yeah, about that. . . I’m not really into baseball, but I was talking to him the other day about it—”

“Why are you only telling me just now?”

“Anyways, I was telling him about this player who I thought was really cute. Y’know, the guy I showed you a picture of—with the really spunky hair, yeah, that guy, and umm, I guess he took that as me saying I’m into baseball. But I’m not. I have no clue what anything regarding that sport even is, I just—ugh, I need help. He says he has really good seats,” you pinched the space between your brows in exasperation.

“What I’m getting at here is that you don’t want to say ‘no’ because he already paid for the tickets?”

You nodded.

“But you don’t want to say ‘yes’, right?”

When you didn’t respond, Nobara audibly sighed as loud as one could, and slapped her palm on her forehead. “I thought you were better than this. Sukuna? Really? You want to go out with that punkass? The one who — you told me — annoyed the shit out of you back in high school? Girl, something has to be possessing you right now, what the fuck.”

“Okay, okay, deep breaths. Let’s backtrack a little,” Nobara seemed to be the only one not following her own instruction.” So, he’s asking you out on a date, with him, and not another better guy who would be better deserving of you. Yes? Ugh, damnit. Okay, anyway, and you plan on saying ‘yes’.”

“I might’ve already said ‘yes’,” you winced as Nobara looked like she was about to faint.

“Oh, dear Jesus. Do I not exist to you anymore? Why are you only giving me the scoop, like, centuries later? Are we not friends, roommates, anything? . . . Okay, okay, deep breaths, Nobara, deep breaths. . .” She shut her eyes and began to breathe in deeply, over and over again. 

All the while, you tried to contain your own mind. If you really thought hard and long about it, it would seem a little strange that you were going on a date with Ryomen Sukuna. Scratch that, really strange, actually. I mean, how much could a person possibly change over the course of — what, a year? — to go from teasing and bullying you relentlessly, absolutely determined to make your life a living hell, to asking you out on a date. A date? Isn’t that what couples do? Isn’t that what people who like or love each other do? But, you weren’t supposed to like nor love Sukuna. You were supposed to hate his guts, or, at the most, tolerate him. But no more, right?

That’s what Nobara Kugisaki was trying to figure out, as well. But her specific thinking was on a level below yours. As your best friend, roommate, and all the things you could possibly think of, she knew you. She knew your favorite type of sandwich, your favorite music genres and songs, your favorite hairbrush to use, your favorite pair of shoes. She knew you well. But, after some previous events, she now only knew you well enough. She also used to know your type. . . And, Sukuna? Wasn't it, until now, apparently.

“So what’s the game plan?” The sound of her genuinely curious voice brought an abrupt end to your train of thought.

“Oh, um, I don’t know? Just go to the game with him, I guess. That’s all there is to it, right? It’s just a simple date, a simple outing, an evening of fun. Yeah! Let’s think of it that way.” While you tried to act normal about the whole arrangement, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of misgiving about the whole thing. You were actually starting to like Sukuna more than you let on, he made you feel giddy inside, like a little middle school girl talking to her crush, he made you laugh and smile, but, in the end, you weren’t sure if he changed enough as a person to not go back to his old ways.

“That’s all there is to it?” Nobara repeated, not completely understanding your words.

Maybe you were overthinking all of this. After all, Sukuna never referred to this as a date in the first place, it was you, instead, who thought of it as one. I mean, who wouldn’t? Sukuna played it off as, “Me and Yuuji were originally going to go together, but we bought these tickets before he went out of town. And I don’t like baseball that much, either, I’m more of a basketball typa guy — as you know, so there’s no way I’m going alone. And there’s also no way I’m letting sixty bucks go to waste.”

You laughed with him, and said, “So I’m the replacement?”

“Whatever you want to be.”

To be completely honest, you didn’t give it much thought when you quickly replied only moments later, “Sure, I’d like that.”

-

“What the fuck?! He was clearly safe!” Sukuna yelled, standing up from his seat as the rest of the crowd held similar reactions to what was called.

You crossed your legs, remaining seated, and placed a hand over your mouth to stifle your giggles. “I thought you weren’t into baseball?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m stupid!” Sukuna extended an arm out in the direction of the umpire, and mumbled a string of curses.

“Was it really that big of a deal? Mind you, you’re the brainy one in this area, not me, for once. You’ve gotta start giving me some pointers.” You cocked your head to the side, and used your hand to escape the harsh rays of the sun.

“Oh really, that so?”

“Mhm.”

“Was my lecture lasting the whole car ride here not enough for you?”

You let out a laugh, “You already know the answer to that.”

“Let me guess, you didn’t listen to a thing I said?”

“Bingo.”

“Sukuna, what are we doing?”

“Hm? What do you mean by that?”

The two of you spoke quietly, whilst sharing a cool milkshake after you unanimously decided it was hot as fuck, and you both were sweating like absolute pigs.

“Y’know. . . What are we doing? What are we doing at a baseball game together? What are we doing spending most nights and mornings on call together? What are we doing on a date together? What are we doing—together?” It was hard enough for you to keep eye contact with someone, you always felt uncomfortable by it, but Sukuna made it nearly impossible. You couldn’t meet his dark eyes for long enough until you had to avert your gaze elsewhere. But sharing a milkshake together? There really was no escape for you.

When the stadium grew boisterous and louder than ever out of the blue, you thought everyone was listening in to your conversation. Then, the logical side of your brain shut that idea down. But, when you and Sukuna turned your heads simultaneously to face the Jumbotron at the same time, you realized.

Inside of a heart-shaped frame decorated in pink and red hearts on the live-streamed video up above was none other than your and the pink haired-man beside you’s faces on the screen. And below your faces, written in bold, large, and white letters were: KISS CAM.

This was it. This was how you would die.

“I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing,” Sukuna turned to look at you with a calmer-than-he-should-be face. “Hell, I don’t even know what I’m doing. But . . . if you’ll let me. . .” His voice trailed off as his eyes languidly moved down your face, until his gaze rested on your lips.

Chants of “Kiss, kiss, kiss” filled the stadium, and grew louder and louder and louder, despite your evidently growing embarrassment.

You don’t know who leaned in first, and to this day, you still don’t know.

Sukuna’s arm — which previously hung around the back of your seat, moved to rest on the small of your back. His other hand gingerly cupped your cheek, and you subconsciously leaned into his hand, relaxing at the feel of his seemingly soothing touch.

A smirk grew on Sukuna’s face, and you waited for an obscene, vulgar joke to come out, but it never did. As your faces got nearer, your noses almost touching as a result, time seemed to come to a halt. You couldn’t even hear the restless crowd anymore. It was just you, and Sukuna. Sukuna and you. You and Sukuna. Come to think of it, you liked the sound of that, to be honest.

While Sukuna came closer, you couldn’t help but notice how handsome he really was. I know, it sounds weird to say, but it was true. In high school, he had his fair share of girlfriends, but you never really paid much thought to it. But now, you know why. It was undeniable. Sukuna really was attractive. Even if you push aside him being built like a Greek god, there were still other aspects to his beauty. His seemingly hypnotic eyes, his defined cheekbones, his tattooed skin, and that sharp jawline of his. It was all so, so beautiful.

You closed your eyes, afraid of what would happen next. But really, there was nothing to be afraid of as his lips met yours in a tender, yet fervent kiss.

This was . . . new. You didn’t expect a kiss from the Ryomen Sukuna to feel this way — not that you ever thought about that, no way. Was he always this gentle? Fuck, why was his hair so soft? While your focus was entirely on the man in front of you, your hands were quite distracted and moved to his nape to play with the little ends of hair there from his undercut.

Earlier, the cries of the stadium were softened and shut out because of . . . something you didn’t know about. (And the author doesn’t know, either.) But now, sounds of the stadium were completely drowned out, for you could only hear the hammering of your own heartbeat in your own chest.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Your mind was wiped completely blank, and you felt lightheaded, beyond dazed, even, as Sukuna caressed your cheek whilst he deepened the kiss ever so slightly. His lips began to move more ravaging-ly, like he was greedy for more. His tongue lightly grazed against your bottom lip, before he gave you lick. Taking the opportunity — as you parted your lips in a gasp, Sukuna added a little bit of tongue into the kiss as well.

The crowd grew wild, erupting into cheers as the sight on the screen grew closer and closer to a mere porno. Some parents were even forced to cover the stares of their curious and confused children 

You swore — for a split second, that you could taste the bitterness of the chocolate syrup from the milkshake you two had shared earlier, which made the kiss feel impossibly more sweeter, and even pleasant, if you will. You felt your face heat up, and your cheeks redden. You just knew he was going to tease you about this later, but did it matter? Not really, no.

The kiss turned sloppy, as Sukuna grew insatiable like the jerk he was, and people in charge of the KISS CAM quickly moved to a different couple, in hopes of keeping things a little more on the PG side.

You were surprised, to say the least, as you found yourself craving more. You grew fond of the feeling of his lips on yours, and you were beyond devastated — a pout evident on your glossy lips, when Sukuna pulled away.

You sank down into the back of your seat, covering your reddening cheeks, and attempting to hide from the world as Sukuna only gave a shit-eating grin to the people around you both.

Was it the beer that made you do all of that? Oh, right. You’re completely sober! God, you wondered what possessed you to do such a thing, much less, on live video! There was no excuse for what you just did. Nada.

“Was it really that bad? — That you had to hide away like a little hobbit?” Sukuna teased, laughing as you continued to get impossibly more red.

He really, really enjoyed this.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Wasted Love {Part II}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, High Angst

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Nope.

Note: Posted the first part of this months back and finally getting around to part 2. I hope you like it. Look out for the final part.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: Wasted Time |

-Lewis-

"For fuck's sake!” He threw the controller across the room.  When it collided with the floor it shattered sending pieces everywhere. "Woah. Woah! What the hell?!” Andrew, Miles, and Daniel all looked at him with varying expressions of confusion, shock, and concern. "Yo, what the fuck is your problem? It’s just an L in MK," Andrew said. He sighed then rubbed his face, pressing a little harder than necessary. "Like we can go again, and I'll let you win if it's that serious," Miles said. He sighed again, his head miles, leaps, and bounds away from the video game, the living room, or his friends. His mind was still in that penthouse suite with you standing in front of him as you argued going back and forth both pushing and neither relenting even a little. His head was still there picking apart every word, every expression, every shuddered breath, every pupil dilation. "Yo, Lewis," Daniel called bringing his attention back to them. "Nah, this can't be about the game. Even you're not that petty," Miles said putting his controller down. "What's up?" He rolled his head around cracking each joint in his neck and shoulders. He hadn't realized until now how wound up he'd been over the last 2 and a half weeks. He also hadn’t realized how steadily his anger and frustrations were climbing too. What was him being in disbelief for the first few days after the confrontation turned into anger then annoyance. Right now he was festering and stewing in all three. He couldn’t believe that after everything you'd been through, everything you'd shared, the lengthy conversations, the trips to and from each of your homes, the late-night phone and video calls that lasted for hours and hours, the dates, the trips, the interactions with his family and him yours, all of it, you were here.

While he had thought you were building and strengthening and growing toward each other despite his insane schedule and lack of free time, that wasn't the case at all. If you had then there was no way you could have said the shit you did or believed he would do some shit like that. "Dude," Andrew began. "It's nothing," he lied. "Bullshit. It's not racing that's been going good, it's not the other hustles either. What, is it Y/N?" His entire body tensed at the mention of your name. That was different. Before, your name brought him peace, a smile and so much more. "Bingo. What is it? Haven't seen her in a few weeks, she too busy for your ass and you salty for it?" He was used to Daniel’s teasing, and usually, he would laugh it up and allow them to bust his chops, but right now Daniel was rubbing on a sensitive topic. Before he realized it he'd kissed his teeth. That action made all three of them perk up. "What's wrong?" "We're done," he blurted out as if the words were acrid acid on his tongue. They were quiet for a few moments, then Miles broke it. "Done? Fuck outta here. You're lying." "I'm for real,” he replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. "What? What happened?" He sighed again then told them the whole story not leaving out anything. He wanted to hear their thoughts mainly because he felt they would take his side. As he went through the whole thing again he had to admit to himself that there were some things he shouldn't have said, things that he recognized fueled your ruthlessness, things he now regretted. When he'd said his piece he waited for them to tune in, however, a good minute passed before any of them said a word. They just exchanged looks as if speaking nonverbally and trying to come to a consensus. "She fucked up right." Daniel made a face. "IIIIIIII mean," he stretched out in that high-pitched tone that said even more.

"Hold on,” Andrew interrupted, “Has something changed? I thought you were all about her these last months. I thought since she finally gave you the time you were being real.”

“I was—am—was. Shit.”

“You slipped up?”

“No! It was nothing, it was work.”

They all gave him the look as if he was full of shit. Kissing his teeth again he rolled his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. It was work, nothing more. Hell I even told them that when they tried to tag team off each other to spit game. I told them I was seeing someone, and it was getting serious, and I wasn’t bout that life anymore.”

“That’s what I thought,” Miles said.

“I didn’t even know she was there. She showed me some fucked picture and she ran with that shit.”

“What picture?”

He opened his messages, found the picture then showed it to them. You’d sent it to him a few hours after you’d left when he texted you that, “You were fucking things up”, your reply was the picture and a simple reply, “Naw bruh you did that shit all on your own. Own it!” It was the last message you’d sent him. It was now almost 3 weeks later, and you were still radio silent.

“Woah, yeah. That looks bad,” Andrew spat out.

Daniel took his phone and studied the picture closer. “Is she kissing your neck?”

“No.”

Miles now snatched the phone and studied it. “And her hand--.”

“No. Nothing happened. The wild shit is this was a backroom photoshoot for the brand. We were posing for the designer for their social marketing.”

“Does she know that?”

“I don’t know. I shit you not, she blew in like a hurricane and within 10 minutes she was gone. She didn’t let me explain. Nothing. Someone sent her that picture.”

“Someone wanted to start shit and she took the bait.”

“9 months. 9 fucking months I’ve been bending backward trying to erase my past for her. 9 months I’ve been putting in wild effort to show her, prove to her I’m not the same dude I used to be, 9 months I’ve been going hard trying to show her what she meant to me and that I’m not fucking around when it comes to her, but 10 minutes and it all blew the fuck up. Now I’m angry, what the fuck was I doing this whole time? Why?”

They didn’t bother replying because there was nothing else to say. They knew everything he was saying was true. He’d cut out all the extra shit months ago because he wanted to get closer to you. He’d decided to be the committing type and he was happy to do it, happy to show you he was more than his reputation. He’d turned on plenty of trips, parties, and things of the kind with his boys because it would have backfired. He’d worked hard to earn your trust but in truth, he hadn’t earned anything. You still saw him as he used to be. And that was the hard pill for him to swallow.

~~~~~~~

-1 Week Later-

“Uncle Lewis let’s go in the pool.”

Snapping out of it, he smiled at his niece then nodded. “Of course princess, let’s go.”

He walked to the edge of the pool and stood beside her. As they prepared his nephew approached and began doing the same thing. As they counted down from three he jumped at 2.

“Aw, Uncle Lewis you cheated!”

He shrugged and watched them leap into the water creating massive miniature splashes of the one he’d just created. When they emerged they came after him trying to attack him like little baby sharks. Each of their attempts was blocked and turned around on them. When one failed he grabbed the other and tossed them across the pool then did the same for the other. Soon there was almost just as much water outside the pool as there was inside.

By the time he got out of the pool the sun was setting and he was exhausted. Dropping himself into one of the lounge chairs, he sighed and allowed himself to relax. However, relaxation wasn’t in the cards for him. Though the activity from before worked to distract him from his heavy thoughts, now with the absence of said activity it all came flooding back. With an exasperated grunt, he grabbed his phone off of the side table and then went to his socials.

As he aimlessly scrolled through the posts he liked a few and kept swiping. Some of the posts he registered others he didn’t. Within a few short minutes, he somehow found himself on yours. He didn’t even notice until he was staring at one of your recent posts, a picture of yourself staring deeply into the camera. It looked like something shot for a brand or a photoshoot rather than a natural selfie.

For several moments all he thought of was how fucking gorgeous you were. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ rang true for you because every time he gazed into them he was always pulled into their depths to drown in their beauty. Fuck, he missed you he thought to himself. On the 4th post he’d landed on he sighed seeing you laughing uncontrollably with your best friend. You looked like you hadn’t a care in the world; like you were blissfully happy. The thought hit him then that you looked like you didn’t miss him one bit.

Acknowledging that made his heart thud painfully then his annoyance was back. It was just like you to leave him to fall apart while you escaped with carefreeness. He’d always suspected that he felt more for you than you felt for him. He guessed that this was his proof. He tapped the tag in the photo of your best friend and found even more videos and pictures of you. The backdrop said you were either on an island or some European seaside town and you were enjoying yourself. He pressed his finger to the screen, freezing the video on your smiling face. Drinking wasn’t really his thing, but fuck did he want a drink or three right now.

“You’re messing yourself up.”

Snapping his head up, he found his mother sitting beside him.

“Mum.”

“Not only are you messing yourself up with everything you’re keeping in but you’re trying to use everything you possibly can as an escape, case in point this last-minute trip,” she finished.

“Mum, it’s not like--.”

“And according to Miles and Daniel, you’re spiraling inside, and it’s not a little.”

“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” he half lied placing his phone on the side table face up.

“You’re not. How could you be fine? The first woman you’ve allowed yourself to fall in love with in years has done a flip and turn because of your actions.”

His brow rose, “What?”

“Acceptance of one’s actions is important, Lewis. I have always taught you that.”

“Naw. Nope, I didn’t do this. I didn’t make this happen. She is a distrustful person.” He sat up straighter then, “I worked my butt off to show her she could trust me, to show her that I wanted her and only her.”

His mother shook her head about that. “If you’re still doing the things you know are triggers for her, how are you proving anything?”

He looked at her incredulously. He knew she liked you a lot and had grown closer to you over the past months, but he didn’t know when she’d completely jumped on your ship while abandoning his.

“Mum, I can’t control half the things she thinks,” he pleaded.

“The pictures Lewis. The pictures and your choice of words.”

He sighed then because he knew that she’d talked to you already. He was tempted to ask his mother for the play-by-play, but he decided against it knowing she probably wouldn’t go for it.

“It was innocent. It was work.”

“Did you tell her that? You know someone sent her those pictures? Someone wanted to start problems and it was too easy because you helped them along.”

“I tried to tell her, but she basically called me a liar. She looked me in my eyes and decided not to believe me. Plus it’s a lot more than she ever afforded me. She’s photographed with a lot of guys all the time; some work, some not, she doesn’t explain any of it to me, yet I trust her enough to believe it’s not something wild or disrespectful. Yet when it comes to me, I’m automatically the knob.”

“Lewis,” she warned.

He raised his hand, sighed out then leaned back in the chair.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before he continued. “She treats me like an option mum--a bloody option. This whole year, the 9 we’ve been together and the 3 it took to claim her, I’ve treated her like my only choice.”

The truth to those words was a truth he’d buried deep. His mother reached over and took his hand.

“Sweetie,” she began.

He knew what was coming, knew she was either going to defend you or try to soothe the pain he felt. He didn’t want either.

“She acts like I never said the words.”

Another truth he’d buried. “I said them, I meant them and she--she never said them back, never even acknowledged them.”

That night was still fresh in his mind. The night when his body and heart felt matched perfectly, it was the night he’d said the words he’d felt for weeks and weeks before. He’d stared deeply into your eyes and said them. ‘I love you.’ He’d meant them. He didn’t know he could still truly feel that way about anyone or feel enough to say the words. You’d proven him wrong, and he was cut up because of it.

 “Lewis, I’m thrilled that you’ve finally found someone that you want in your life for more than a few months. It makes me so happy that you have found someone to love. She is a wonderful woman, but, who cares what she does? If this is how you feel how you truly feel, if she is who you choose and wholeheartedly want beside you then you are supposed to be with it be about her no matter what.”

“Seriously!? No.”

“That my love, is the difference between a boy and a grown man. A grown man is one hundred percent true to what’s in here,” she reached over then pat his chest just over his heart. “He is about it, and nothing changes it because it does not matter.”

“How—H--how do I do that? How in the world do I put myself out there--,” he voiced before she cut him off.

“--And invite her to break your heart? Is she worth the risk?”

He didn’t want to open his mouth to even answer this. If you weren’t worth it, he wouldn’t have spent so much time perusing you. He never would have made so much of an effort to include you in his world and life, he wouldn’t have waited 6 fucking months to sleep with you so both of you were sure where your hearts were, he wouldn’t have ever told you he loved you. Of course, you were worth it but the memory of the look in your eyes as you spoke to him, the last thing you’d said to him held part of him back.

“I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you.”

That coupled with the way you looked at him just before the elevator doors closed held him back.

“Lewis!”

“I—I don’t—I don’t know anymore.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I thought I knew, thought I was so sure, I was sure, but--I don’t.”

This was fucked, he thought as he felt his mother’s eyes boring into him. When she stood she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as she did when he was a child after a spill. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out while he relished this comforting embrace.  It was in his mother’s loving and judgment-free arms he finally broke letting it all go.

Hours seemed to pass this way, or perhaps it had been just mere minutes. When his sister approached he felt heaps better but his heart was still heavy. A notification from his phone drew his attention as his sister sat on the floor before him. As he checked it, his sister gave her best attempt at a pep talk. Some words he caught others he missed but the sentiment was sometimes time helped people see the error of their ways and come up with ways to fix the errors. He didn’t know if she meant his errors or yours.

He went into his socials DMs and found a message from your best friend. After hesitating for a few moments he tapped into it and found a video. It took him to a recent video that was only available to her close friends. Your face came into view, and he instantly noticed the tears on your cheeks. You held your hand up to block the camera view, but the angle only changed.

“When bestie is tired of frontin' for the gram with the having the time of my life posts and allows herself to be sad and you gotta cheer her up,” your best friend said.

“Stop. You can’t record me like this. I’m not sad,” you protested.

“No?”

You were quiet for a few seconds. “No.”

Your voice was clouded as if your throat was tight words struggled to make it through. “Not sad—really, really sad,” you said voice a sobbing whine.

Fuck, he thought. He hated seeing you cry.

“What—what do I—do I do now?”

“Allow yourself to feel it,” your friend suggested.

You sobbed some more, and he watched your friend hug you before the video ended. So many things flew through his mind but the two things that kept coming around. The first was how much he missed you.

The second, you were worth it.

~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Everyone said that the first month of a breakup was always the hardest and those words were proving true. Since those elevator doors had closed you’d done everything to keep yourself moving. You piled on work to make sure you had no free time to sit and think. However, that didn’t quite work because wherever you went, something reminded you of him. Either it was a café or a location you went to for a shoot, or even something you ate. You nearly threw yourself into the ocean when one of the set interns brought you a glass of Almave.

When work didn’t prove successful, you picked yourself and your friends up for a girls’ trip to a faraway island. You drank, partied, and posted it all on your socials hoping you could fake it till you made it, but the faking became too much. By nightfall every night, you wallowed with a bottle or two of wine.

While you were beyond pissed at Lewis you also knew that picture was sent to you on purpose. You weren’t an idiot and had dealt with plenty of conniving, duplicitous bitches in your days. You knew someone was trying to fuck with you and start shit and you were giving them what they wanted. That didn’t matter because none of that changed the content of the photo.

Every time you came back to that no matter how much of your anger had dissipated, it all came back with that one nugget of fact. It was straight-up disrespect. If the tables had been turned and it was you, Lewis would have made a huge fuss over it by being extra petty. You refused to believe you were in the wrong, but several bits of your interaction tried to come through to show you had been in the wrong for a few things.

You were a passionate person and usually when arguing that passion shines through and oftentimes you get reckless at the mouth not caring how your words are thrown together or the force of those words. You knew you fought dirty; it was the only way you knew how. You blamed it on the years of living a single and independent life after one of the worst breakups of your life. It had caused more damage than good. You’d had no one to answer to, no one to consider or consult and you oftentimes still lived there in your head. It was a major switch to flip and a switch you failed, more times than you liked to admit, to flip.

You knew that night you’d said whatever came to mind and didn’t care if the words hurt. In fact, you said some things to cause pain and that was the source of your regret. Lewis had often told you throughout your 9-month relationship that your mouth would get you in trouble in more ways than one. He’d warned you about your recklessness and told you he wouldn’t stand for it because if he really wanted he could get just as reckless as you.

That was one of the things you loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when you got into your bad girlfriend mode.

Sighing, you raised the glass of wine to your lips and guzzled until it was empty. Your eyes fell to the now empty wine bottle, and you debated with yourself over getting another. It was the 2nd bottle of the night, and you knew if you got a 3rd you’d have entered lush territory, but you didn’t care enough to resist. So you slinked across the kitchen to the wine fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, but before you closed it you grabbed one more just in case.

After you’d popped the cork and filled your glass to the brim your phone went off with a security notification. Checking the application, you reviewed the notice of someone entering your code into your security gate.

“What the hell?”

Another notification came in informing you a car was pulling up the drive. You went over the registered movements watching the videos to figure out if you had a security breach or if someone was just showing up unannounced. On the 3rd video, you realized who it was.

“No fucking way.”

You walked out of the kitchen, through your home, and to your front door. Before you got there, the bell rang. Once you turned the corner you saw who it was through the intricately decorated glass doors. Lewis Hamilton. Neither of you moved. You stood there staring at each other. You couldn’t read the expression in his brown eyes, but you could read the dark circles underneath them and his lackluster complexion. He looked slightly sick but also indifferent. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was having as hard a time as you were. You’d purposely stayed off his and his friends' accounts to avoid any excessive thoughts of him.

Lewis didn’t move a muscle, he patiently waited for you to make your move. It was a move you didn’t know how to make. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t wanted him to run after you and fight some more, but you also didn’t want to see him again. So one hand itched to grab the knob and open the door for him but the other hand wanted to override the security system and shutter down your house.

You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths giving your body control to see which side won. When your hand wrapped around the knob you wanted to break it. Once you opened the door, you snapped your eyes open.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get past my gate?”

Lewis scoffed and slightly shook his head before speaking, “Let me in, Y/N.”

You scrunched your face and doubled down on your annoyance. “What? Not a chance in hell. Answer me. How?”

When your best friend's name came out of his mouth your eyes bugged. There was no way.

“Bullshit! There is no way my best friend would give you my security code for my gate without letting me know. There is no way!”

He looked unamused now.

“Yet she did.”

You studied him still shocked.

“Let me in.”

“No. Why would I do that? We have nothing to talk about.”

“I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You scoffed. “Five weeks too late. Anything I had to say was said already. We’ve both said enough. You should go 44.”

Lewis took a sharp breath in and released it. As it came out it sounded like a hiss. “Oh boy. Y/N, stop talking! For real just stop—fucking talking and let me in!”

“What the fuck?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Do I fucking look like one of your side bitches, or your groupies?!”

From the heat rushing through you, you could tell that your anger was beginning to really boil now. With quick moves, Lewis moved from his side of the door to close the space between you. Before you knew it, he had one of his hands cupping your skull and his lips pressed to yours. Like magic as if on command you stopped moving and any thought of protest faded, hell any thought at all faded.

Lewis’ lips moved against yours in a way you’d found yourself missing the last five weeks. He kissed you like a starved man, like a man who’d come back to claim what was his and your body reacted in the only way it had ever reacted—eager acceptance.

A small whimper escaped you and that was when Lewis backed off. You kept your eyes closed relishing the feelings that had now bubbled up within you, feelings you’d been working overtime to suppress and ignore. One kiss was all it took for the geyser to erupt.

“You talk to fucking much for your own good,” Lewis whispered.

You could feel the whisps of his breath against your face and picked up the scent of mint, and some form of berry. You tried to control your breathing so he wouldn’t see how much he still affected you. Opening your eyes, you peered into his glossy doe ones.

“You’ve said more than enough. I still have shit to say. So listen.”

Lewis then squeezed your hip bringing you back to the present. It was then you realized your body was pressed to his and his hand was gripping you holding you against him controlling your body like he always did. Shit, you thought. You loved when he took control, loved how he always knew how to shut you up when you got into one of your what he would call Y/N fits. Lewis squeezed your hip once more while biting his bottom lip and you wanted to knee him in the balls because of how easy it still was for him to turn you on.

As if he knew it too, Lewis released you as quickly as he’d grabbed you and walked into your house. A shiver rushed through you making you shudder. Asshole, you thought while you closed and locked your door. When turned around he was standing there waiting for you. Rolling your eyes, you led the way back to the kitchen. Once there you grabbed your glass and finished it.

“Speak.”

Lewis scoffed. “Don’t test me, Y/N.”

Clenching your jaw you refilled your glass then watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. You were not going to make any of this easy for him.

“I’m tired of these subs you keep throwing my way. So fucking tired of it. It’s like you enjoy being cold and evil to me and that’s not even cool. I’ve never taken joy in being cold to you.”

Shaking your head you took another sip from your glass.

“I’ve known you for years. Yeah, it wasn’t like we were in the same friend group, but we were cordial. I’ve wanted you the entire time I’ve known you. Yeah, yeah, I was messing with other women throughout that time.”

“Messing? Just say fucking. Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on,” you blurted out.

“Again, stop talking!”

His voice bounced around the kitchen, but you didn’t feel fear. You’d never feared him. You knew he wasn’t one of those men who hit women. That had never and would never be him. Narrowing your eyes, you took a large gulp of your wine, your conflicting feelings wreaking havoc on you.

“You act like you don’t have a past or even things from your past you’re ashamed of. Shit Y/N! I’ve told you I am not that man anymore, I’ve changed.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The silence stretched and you kept your eyes on him. He looked hurt but also frustrated. “I get that, and I’ve been killing myself by doing what I can to prove it to you, to show you I deserve your time.”

Shaking your head you scoffed. “You don’t have to prove shit else, Lewis. I have all the proof I need; I saw it all in that picture!”

“The picture was bullshit. Tell me you don’t get someone is fucking with you.”

“Again why do they want to do that Lewis? Huh! Is it because of your thot ass!”

“Oh my god, here we go again! Stop throwing my past in my face. I’ve owned it and have walked away from it. That picture was bullshit. I was working. What that picture doesn’t show--.”

You grabbed the wine bottle and began walking away. “I don’t give a shit anymore!”

Lewis’ hand wrapped around your wrist stopping your movement. “It was a photoshoot, Y/N. Someone took a picture of an impromptu photoshoot and sent it to you out of context.”

You scanned his eyes for any sign of a lie.

“You’re lying.”

“I have never lied to you. I swear it. You can even go to the brand owner and find out, it’s easy to do.”

You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying Lewis.”

“I’m not. I told you I would never do some shit like that to you.”

You kept scanning his eyes unable to wrap your head around what he was saying. He had to be lying. Right?

“Look--,” he began dropping his hand and releasing you. With a sigh, he continued, “I came here to give you this.”

He then pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to you. The large brown envelope in his hand looked like doom in the form of an office supply.

“This is the last goddamn time I’m going to have you throw my past in my face. The last fucking time, Y/N. It’s not fair and I shouldn’t have to explain shit to you because this was before you and has nothing to do with us, here or now, but for some fucking reason I feel like I have to, and it irks the shit out of me especially since you don’t give me the same courtesy.”

His words felt like dull blades whipping against your skin. That flared your anger.

“You don’t have to explain shit to me.”

“Shut up!”

That was it. Though you liked it when he stood up to you, you hated feeling this backed into a corner, especially with the truths he’d just dropped.

“Listen, you’re not gonna be--.”

That was all you got out before Lewis’ lips were pressed to yours once again and again everything stopped. His lips manipulated you making you slump back against the wall you hadn’t realized you were pressed to. Lewis’ large hand squeezed your hip once again and you’d never wanted to strip someone more than him right now. When he pulled his lips from yours he kept his forehead to yours.

“You’ve never fucked with a guy like me. I told you that 9 months ago and it’s still true. I’m not going to just let you talk to me any old way. Those other fools were weak as fuck. I’m not weak. I can handle your ass,” Lewis said.

He didn’t need to say shit else because you were now turned the fuck on. Your eyes locked and it took everything in you to remain composed though his lips looked more and more tempting with each passing second.

“Are you listening now?”

You had no words.

“I’m done with that life. It’s boring, it’s old and to be honest it weighs me the fuck down. I want you and it goes past sex, it goes past claiming you or getting a notch, or even letting the world know I got you. None of that matters to me, it never has. I want you. I want Y/N. I’ve been real this entire time.”

Again he pushed out the envelope to you.

“After I give you this it’s all in your hands, your court, your decision. I’ll chase you but I’ll only chase you so far. This is how far.”

Your eyes dropped to the envelope between your bodies, but you didn’t reach for it. You couldn’t. You were actually scared of it and what it may hold. Glancing back at him, you studied his face.

“Your decision, make it. If it’s not me then cool. No hard feelings, we’re still friends and I’ll wish you nothing but the best but,” Lewis paused then cupped your chin as he pressed himself against you more. With his face mere centimeters from yours, he finished, “My lips will not touch yours until you come to me for it.”

Holy shit, you thought to yourself.

“Our next kiss if it’s in the cards will be done by you, not me.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was serious. You could tell he meant this with everything. He was done chasing you, done giving and giving only to have you keep him at a distance. Fuckity, fuck, you thought.

“Are you gonna take it?”

You wanted to shake your head, but you couldn’t move. It was like he was the headlights, and you were the deer. You recognized the fear you felt. You knew it was do or die and you knew this was the moment of truth for your relationship. With what he’d told you about the picture being a set up you were more confused than ever. Rightfully, he shouldn’t even be here right now, not after your conversation before and how it all went down. He was still here trying to get you back.

You slowly took the envelope with a shaky hand, the only tell of your fear. Lewis slowly backed away from you while keeping his eyes on yours. When he was a few feet away he turned and began walking out of the kitchen.

“So that’s it?”

Lewis stopped then looked back at you. His expression was different now. You could tell how hurt he was now, how much you’d hurt him.

“You tell me, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what to tell him, so you didn’t say anything. Lewis nodded, the disappointment filling his eyes before he turned from you and walked away. You stood there listening to him walk through your house, his footsteps getting further and further away. When you heard the door close you released breath you didn’t know you were holding. The notification sounds from your phone told you that he’d driven down the drive and left the property.

It was then you put the envelope on the kitchen counter and took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself. No matter how many breathing exercises you did you still couldn’t calm down. Your mind raced replaying the conversation, dissecting every move, word, and glance, and analyzing it against every other conversation over the last 9 months. When your legs gave way from the weight of it all, you dropped to the floor. One question kept screaming in your head.

Had it all truly been wasted love or was there still hope?

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[yuzurins]

# feelings are fatal

in which: for as all as you can remember, being with rin has caused you to be the recipient of needless hate. you put up with it for the sake of him, until one day you’re tired of it all.

warnings: angst, petty arguing, hurt NO comfort!, cussing, barely proofread, not based off the mxmtoon song, implied childhood friends, insecure!reader, and i tried to make rin as canon as possible….

likes, interactions, reblogs are all appreciated! <3

there hasn’t been an ounce of doubt in rin’s eyes on whether he has been a good friend to you. for one, he’d beg to differ that he’s the best out there, despite not having any other friends in class for comparison.

rin’s sure he’s been treating you the best he can.

“come on, y/n.” rin exhales, desperation in his voice making it sound almost like a plea. “stop avoiding me.”

so frankly, he doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong to make you act this way towards him.

“rin, let go.” your voice is but a whisper, yet it’s enough to cause rin’s whole world to start falling apart.

you feel his hold tighten around your wrist.

“no,” he starts, his intense glare burning holes into the back of your head. “not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

reality finally hits when you process his words, and the second of vulnerability allows the looming feeling of guilt to finally consume you. it’s not like you haven’t prepared for this beforehand, even going as far to practice your speech, but now you’re hesitating, scared to reveal your true feelings. scared to hurt him.

”well, i mean, i’m just feeling a little sick, yeah—“

he knows you too well for this. “don’t lie to me.”

you sigh. it was worth a try anyway.

so you cut to the chase, and give it to him directly. “our relationship is what’s wrong, rin.” not the ideal way for you to have worded that, but it came out faster than you could think.

“y/n, what are you even talking about?” rin furrows his brows in confusion, cursing himself for being so ignorant. “we’re not even dating, or did you think we were?”

you sigh as you shake your head. “i know we aren’t, and i know you don’t care about other people, but were you even the slightest bit aware that every single person around us thinks so?”

for the first time in days, you do the simple favor of properly looking at rin in the face. he’s been longing to see you properly after you started avoiding him, and perhaps that’s what triggered a sudden rush of ambition in him.

“so what’s wrong with that?” he pries.

despite his prolonging deadpan expression, you don’t miss the way he takes a step closer, the way his neck scarcely flushes red, the way anticipation is so obviously evident in his eyes, and it takes all of you to not break down in the moment.

“it’s… not a good thing, you know?” you mumble. “you wouldn’t understand.”

“what the fuck?” his eyebrows raise in shock. “are you fucking kidding me?”

rin feels ridiculed. you don’t think it’s a good thing to be known as his girlfriend? really? did he seriously spend all this time with you just for you to feel embarrassed, to feel ashamed to be with him?

“are you saying there’s something wrong with me?” he snaps.

“what? no, i never said that!” you snap back, abruptly turning your head over to narrow your eyes at him.

the look he has is indescribable and so foreign, one that you’ve never seen before. he’s urging you to talk, giving you a chance to explain yourself and convince him that whatever he’s thinking, it’s wrong.

“people talk. and they say horrible things. rin, you’re a football star, and as much as i hate to admit it, you are extremely good-looking.” you bite your lower lip and look away. “everyone at school hates me just because i’m friends with you.”

“isn’t that just because they’re jealous-“ he cringes, blurting out the first thing to come to mind.

“i know damn well they’re jealous rin!” you scowl, though you immediately regret it as you see him stiffen.

"i know they're all just saying it out of their own insecurities, and i know that their goal is to rile me up and break us apart." you're rambling now, trying to get all your words out before a sob manages to. "i know i shouldn't let their words get to me, but it’s so draining. i'm exhausted, tired of it all."

his eyes widen in surprise, and he pauses for a few seconds. you think it’s foolish, how you can see the gears turning in his head, processing this "newly" discovered information. "fuck, i'm so sorry, i didn't know-"

"i know you didn't know." you cut him off, firmly. "it was obvious enough, but it was easy to make sure you didn't."

he doesn’t want to overstep, but he thinks he has the right to know. “but why?”

the irony of this whole situation makes you laugh. as if rin wasn't the one who was supposed to understand you the most. "because i was embarrassed? would you want your best friend to know you cried because of some petty remark?"

from the corner of your vision, you can see the taller male open and close his mouth several times. nothing you said was wrong, and he knew that. after all, rin himself would feel the exact same way.

so once again, silence befalls the two of you. though unlike before, you gather the courage to look at him, wondering if this was the end.

“does it really matter to you that much?” he asks, and your heart aches seeing his eyes glisten, tears threatening to fall with every word. “what other people have to say about us?”

“rin. yes, it really does-“

“don’t i matter to you?” rin interrupts, and his voice cracks. he’s avoiding your eyes, body shaking from the flurry of emotions he’s trying to hold back. it’s embarrassing, really, to think that you had this much of an effect on him.

his question renders you speechless, and you fail to find the right words to convey your feelings properly.

instead, rin’s met with the touch of the evening breeze; light, brisk, and cold.

when it hits the first time, he looks back up in hopes to see your face, but you’re turned away, finding the ground more bearable to look at.

second time, he loosens up, the tension leaving his shoulders. his expression’s contorted, a mixture of hurt, confusion, anger, but still hopeful. he’s waiting, maybe you just needed time to think.

a minute passes.

the wind blows a third time, and this time, his hand lets go of your wrist. he knows now that you’re choosing to be silent, which in itself is more than enough of an answer for him.

“okay,” he lets out a laugh in defeat, no energy to persist.

he absolutely hates the look of pity in your eyes.

“rin, please, i just—i just need a break.” you plead, your wavering voice growing heavier each passing second.

time stills. you feel like you’re drowning in the silence, the tension of the air so thick it’s suffocating.

you knew better than anyone that it was wrong. wrong to blame your problems on rin, wrong for you to leave him, wrong for you to hurt him because it wasn’t his fault, and instead your own selfish feelings. yet could you really blame yourself for feeling this way? no, because words hurt, and it’s impossible to control what comes out of another person’s mouth. on the surface, it might seem as though they’re meek, merely drifting past you. but as time passes, as they persist, they slowly gnaw at the little wall you’ve built yourself, and you suddenly find yourself overwhelmed, devoured by hatred.

so as natural as it was by human nature, you prioritized yourself first. you thought you loved rin, but not enough to let yourself suffer for him. because as they say, you can’t love another if you don’t love yourself first.

in the thousands of possible scenarios you’ve gone through, the one condition for the most beneficial outcome was the same for all: you and rin couldn’t be together. you swore, it was the best path for the both of you, going beyond just feelings and into consideration of your careers aswell.

but rin doesn’t care about that. he doesn’t care about any of these tedious, meaningless tasks—heck, even his future—when all he wants, all he’s ever wanted, was you.

“you’re just like my brother.” he scoffs, speaking up after what feels like forever, his fists clenched so hard to the point he’s trembling. “of fucking course you all end up leaving me at the end of the day. i should’ve expected this, god i’m such an idiot!”

your eyes widen in shock at being compared to the older itoshi. “rin, i-”

“don’t bother.” he hushes, turning his head away to save himself from humiliation. “it’s too late.”

he’s right, the damage has already been done. several nights were not spent sleepless contemplating only to rescind now.

all rin can hear is the loud pounding of his heart, as it threatens to jump out of his chest. he doesn’t even remember grabbing onto the nearest railing in attempt to stable his footing. a flurry of emotions plague him, wrapping around his throat and clouding his vision.

he can barely make out your figure growing smaller and smaller as you walk away, and he wants nothing more than to go back in time to give those who’ve wronged you a piece of his mind.

he loves you. so much. too much.

the realization of the truth to his feelings comes too late, clawing at him in despair. you’re gone already, and it seems like rin will never have you in his grasp ever again. you’ve infected him, entrancing him with your sweet little spell. he gets the impression that from now on, instead of escaping, he’ll only be descending further down, engulfed in the intoxicating memories and feeling of you.

it may be for that reason that, in rin’s eyes, he’s always been good to you, because you deserved it. but now he knows that there’s other eyes out there that don’t share the same view as him.

feelings are forever changing, an occurrence beyond his control. rin and you were different 10 years ago, different yesterday, will be different starting now, and endlessly on. there’s no guarantee in life, for one decision can change the course of it forever.

in a world full of uncertainties, there isn’t any doubt in rin’s eyes that you’ll always be his one.

tagged: @kouyun ෆ

[rodolfoparras]

Alec I'm so severely unwell over that drabble you wrote, I'm like super emotional about it please-

I wanted to make Nik into catty asshole who is trying to push your buttons and make you jealous maliciously but like...the idea of him just teasing both you and John is better almost.

Like sure part of him is jealous and he can't help but to be little petty but for the most part he is just pushing your buttons for the sake of riling you up. Even better if he sees that you and John are in love with each other but neither you or John see it. And he's little hurt sure, he doesn't exactly see why John would pick some punk ass rookie over him but as long as John is happy...

And he knows John most likely won't make the first move because John is probably all types of upset because he fell for someone he took under his wing to keep safe and take care of so Nik does everything he can to make you jealous (he totally plays into your hot-headed nature) so you'll finally confess.

At some point absolutely everyone is aware it and is just waiting for something to happen because holy fuck can Captain and rookie just fuck already? Why do they keep dreamily staring into each other's eyes while we're trying to have mission briefing?

For extra angst, imagine you finally finally deciding to confess, probably after drinking and getting all hyped up and you come to John's office and you're about to know but... John is there with Nikolai and maybe they're fucking, maybe they're just having sweet moment, maybe it's just misunderstanding on your part. Whatever it is, it doesn't mean anything but to you it does because it just reaffirms that John isn't yours.

I imagine it's not until everyone gets hammered or near death situation that confession finally happens tbh.

-🔮

Okay hear me out

Nikolai wasn’t stupid. He was aware that Price likes you, not because he had told him so, because the Russian is sure that the other man would rather die than answer honestly to that question

But he could see the way price acted around you, the way he talked to you, the way he behaved nothing like when Nik and him were together.

Price and Nik had met in their early teens, Price thought Nik was his first and last love Nik, simple put, didn’t feel the same.

Sure he loved Price, dont get it wrong, but there was so much to the world than being bound to one person for the rest of your life.

So they decided to break up, only ever hooked up for the sake of old times or the surge of adrenaline that came after a mission.

Price was so hung up over Nik, the Russian never though he’d get over him but one day the rookie became all he talked about, most of their hm-meetings got called off because he needed to be with rookie for the night.

Nikolai was sure Price would fess up any time soon but Price didn’t, instead he played stupid every time he got asked about it.

So he tried another approach, targeting you by making you jealous in hopes of that being enough to make you fess up but instead it pushed you further away.

Nik almost pulled his hair out, flying a plane was much easier than getting two people together so he gave up, let universe handle it instead.

In the meantime 141 was up your ass about it, telling you that it’s so clear that the captain reciprocates your feelings.

For one second you had allowed yourself to believe it. With one too many drinks in your system you had stumbled over to Price’s office in an attempt to confess your feelings.

However what you saw had shattered your heart.

Stupid, stupid so stupid you think to yourself tears trickling down your cheeks as you sprint to you room, far away from Price’s office.

Of course Price didn’t return your feelings he was busy getting fucked by the man he was actually in love with.

Yet you had allowed yourself to be persuaded, had let 141 convince you that Price reciprocated your feelings.

However what you don’t see is Price’s attempt to run after you only for Nik to stop him.

“What is he going to think? Fuck!” Price says kicking the trash can laying around in his office, still half naked.

“John cal-“ Nik tries to say but gets interrupted by the older man.

“Don’t Nikolai just please leave, please? I would like to be alone for a moment”

Nik wants to argue but instead he lets out a sigh and picks up his clothes off of the floor, quickly dressing himself before walking out through the door.

“You should tell him you know?” Nik says with a smile on his face. Price doesn’t even get to spit out an impromptus lie about how he doesn’t like you in that way before Nik is walking away.

The opportunity to talk doesn’t come around. His days are filled with missions and his nights are filled with paper work that just seem to be piling up and when the two of you have some sort of interaction Price doesn’t even know what to say because it’s not like the two of you are anything in the first place.

He did nothing wrong by fucking Nik he was just lonely and tired of pining for the man who doesn’t even seem to noice him. But then that very same man walked in at the wrong moment and everything came crashing down on him.

Stupid stupid so stupid, Price thinks to himself as he sulks in silence.

Weeks have passed after that incident, the two of you are distant as ever.Price thinks that maybe it’s meant to be this way, you weren’t even anything in the first place.

But just as the thought pops up in his head there’s blood - your blood splashing across his face and you’re falling to the ground while he rushes towards your bleeding body

You’re muttering i love you’s while he’s carrying you to the emergency room and Price is repeatedly saying that he won’t say it back not yet because this isn’t a goodbye and if you’re going to confess your love for him you have to ask him out on dinner first, you have to be alive and well when you do it, goddammit!

Spitball w/ me?

[byeoltoyuki]

hii could you please write a lee know x reader parenting series where they are like married and have a one month old baby 😭 my mind goes crazy everytime i think about minho as a dad

Hello sweet anon! A serie would be a big thing and even if I love the idea, I sadly don't have enough time to write it since I have already so much on my wiplist ;_; Now that being said, I still wrote a small drabble because I also live for dad Minho. I changed the age to six months, it was easier for me this way :). Hopefully you'll like it ♥

genre: established relationship / fluff overload /

***

“No one shall be my wife but she whose foot this golden slipper fits.” Minho read out loud, Minji nicely placed on his laps. He didn’t think it could possibly calm his six months old baby, she was too young, and yet it was doing a rather good job. She stopped crying the moment he started reading, doing his best to put as many emotions as he could into his voice. He tried to adapt along with the characters he played. And Minji? She seemed to love that as she giggled loudly every time his voice changed.

So he kept reading, stopping from time to time just so he could kiss the crown of Minji’s head.

“This also is not the right one,” said he, “have you no other daughter?” “No” said the man “There is still a little stunted kitchen-wench which my late wife left behind her, but she cannot possibly be the bride.”

Minho had to stop the urge to close the book. Fairy tales were not his cup of tea, especially those with princesses that needed to be saved. Clearly, Cinderella wasn’t a princess but definitely one young, lovely woman that needed some serious saving. He wasn’t fond of that. Yet, for the sake of his own daughter’s entertainment, he kept reading.

“That is the true bride!” The step-mother and the two sisters were terrified and became pale with rage; he, however, took Cinderella on his horse and rode away with her.

“Nope.” Minho closed the book and pushed it away from him. “I can’t. That some serious bull-“ he stopped right on time before the curse left his lips. He scooped Minji in his arms and looked fondly at her. “You, my sweet, little angel, don’t need a man.” And with that he peppered her face with kisses until she squealed and tried to push him away with her tiny hands.

Minho was enjoying his sweet father-daughter moment, he failed to notice that you were finally back from your first, little girls’ night. At least, until he heard your sweet chuckle.

“I thought you said you’ll never, ever, read her bed time stories, hm?” You teased, knowing how much those stories repulsed him. The day he saw you buying those books, he was read to set them on fire. And yet, look at him now.

For the sake of pettiness, he ignored your comment and instead gave his full attention to Minji. “You’re gonna be a strong, independent and lovely woman.” Minho told her softly before his eyes found yours, he just couldn’t help it. “Just like your mom. You won’t need a man to be happy.”

Of course, he would say something like that, you thought. You were used to him being all snarky and teasing, sometimes looking and sounding cold and yet he had the biggest and softest heart you had ever met.

With a big smile plastered on your face, you got closer to the bed. You kissed Minji’s head before pecking Minho’s lips. “Cute. But should I remind you that this,” You pointed at yourself,” Incredible, beautiful, strong and absolutely hilarious wife of yours still needed a man like you to make her life perfect, hm?”  

Minho considered your words for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth between you and your baby. “True. But she’s not allowed to date. That’s it.” No man could be enough, could be good enough for his little girl. Not in this world.

“Minho!” You groaned. You should have known the day you found out you were expecting a girl that Minho would be, from time to time, an overprotective dad.

“What?” He feigned innocence.

“You know you can’t shield her forever, right?”

“Fine. She can date.” He agreed, “But only once I’m dead and buried.”

Yeah, it was too good to be true, you told yourself. You smiled nevertheless. “And then you’ll come and haunt the poor man?”

Minho’s grin turned pure evil. Of course, you saw right through him after years of knowing each other. With Minji, still in his arms, he stood up from the bed and brought her back to her cradle. He kissed her head and straightened back to look at you. “Exactly.”

You laughed at his words, at his confidence and fierceness. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your head against his back. He felt warm and like home. “You’re impossible.”

“And that’s why you love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Take that back, lady!” He turned to face you, hands on his hips, he feigned annoyance but the glint in his eyes told you another story. “Take that back or else,”

“Or what?” You dared him, knowing damn well you were in troubled waters.

Before you could do some more provoking, Minho grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder making you squeal in return.

“Minho!”

But he only laughed and slapped your ass for good measure. “Let me show you.”

[roachesbf]

AHHHHHHH- YOURE BACK YIPPIE!! 🙌🙌🙌

Anywho, mind the intro, if you haven’t done anything for Ghost within the courting series yet…

Imagine Ghost as a feline of sorts, like.. a black panther or a lion. Just a silly little guy. He’d be the type of cat that’s got that judgemental look until they see their favourite person and their eyes get all big.

Type of guy that loves to wrestle for play, and provides food/gifts for his S/O. Typical dead mouse on the doorstep type of gift.

He wouldn’t be much into physical contact, but god would he melt when his chin is scratched of his ears are gently rubbed. And rather than holding hands, he’d constantly have his tail wrapped around your arm or leg. The small purrs he would emit but deny.

Just a silly little guy all together, got that rescue cat energy to him<3

Anywho, love your work and be sure to take care of yourself!!<33

- 🪶

Black Panther Ghost Courting Headcanons

Ghost does give very much sheltered cat vibes once the two of you are in a settled relationship lol. It was a bit difficult at first because he had a hard time showing affection to you in normal ways. The main indicator of him liking you was on missions, he’d present to you a kill and wait until you said something, especially if it was someone who in turn was going to hurt you. If you praise him he’ll croon but he won’t tell you what the noise means. If you question him on why he brought it he’ll just hum and turn away. After putting the puzzle pieces together it was just him trying to show off that he can protect you. 

Once he knows that the two of you are comfortable with each other, it’s practically a mess. Your bed sheets and pillow covers are ripped up from his claws because it’s his way of marking your room as his territory as well. He always apologizes but the smug look in his eyes show that he’s not actually sorry and that the next time you buy new ones, he’ll do it again. Along with that, he’ll curl his tail onto your leg during meetings, or anywhere. To him it’s the easiest way of telling others to back off without actually saying anything. If you try to catch him off guard by grabbing it he’ll smack your hand away and scold you for it later, he can’t be caught lacking in front of the soldiers, he’s got a reputation to uphold. 

Ghost is a big fan of training because he always forgets how big and heavy he truly is. Something in his brain switches and he views training as a way to just play and mess around with you. The more you fight back, the more adrenaline he feels. And if he wins he’ll be a good sport about it, of course he takes it seriously for your sake by also giving out pointers. But training always gives him a rush because there really are no hard feelings in it. If your body isn’t too sore by the end of it he’ll allow a break in the comfort of your room, letting you lay on top of his chest as the two of you try to regain your energy. His gross skull mask will be off, but you’ll have to peel the balaclava halfway up if you wanna give him chin scratches. His stubble feels weird but it’s also a part of the charm when he gets comfortable and starts rubbing his face all over you. 

It’s cute that when he truly is comfortable he’ll start purring unconsciously, his tail slightly swinging back and forth on the bed. He’ll start kneading at your back, and it’s not until you start giggling does he notice his lovesick behavior, which ultimately makes him stop. If you whine and complain for him to continue, he’ll deny anything even happened and get up to go make tea or something, anything to distract him from how red his face is from being caught. I feel like Ghost is a really petty guy so it’s best to not say anything or he will make sure he never does it in front of you again. 

[sofoulandfairaday]

for @monicafave who asked me about my opinions on Lucius Malfoy.

TW: very brief mention of sexual assault (DE crimes).

Honestly, one of the (few) improvements the movies made on the books. Jason Isaacs is hot. And has so much charisma when playing the villain I cannot see anyone else doing the character justice in the remake. Also, Lucius doesn't have long hair in the books, but it's the only way I imagine him (my headcanon is that Draco grew his hair out eventually too). Also, the choice to make him unshaven in the last movies? Gold. 10/10.

He wore his hair a little shorter in the First War, but still long enough it could be tied back with a ribbon.

Is a victim to one of the worst takes in the entirety of the Harry Potter fandom of all time, which is of course abused!Draco. It angers me more than abused!Black Sisters, or abused!Remus... grrrr, it makes me so mad. If there is one (1) character in the entirety of the Harry Potter fandom, only ONE that we can be sure wasn't abused by his parents, that was Draco. Where - where? - do people get the absurd idea that Lucius was a cruel father and husband, who routinely cheated on his wife and beat her and their son?

(Also, imagine beating/cursing Narcissa Black, who was not only vicious herself, but also the beloved only sister of Bellatrix Black Lestrange. Like. Who would do that? Madmen wouldn't do that.)

Abusive Lucius for the sake of being cruel makes me laugh. It makes me giggle. The man wouldn't be able to correctly use a Stinging Jinx, never mind the fucking Cruciatus Curse, on either of them if Lord Voldemort was pointing his wand directly between his eyes. Although-

Yes, he is a coward. Which, by the way, there is a big difference between being unable to actively hurt your family members and passively standing by when they are threatened/tortured. The big, realistic failure of Lucius, the one that would sour his image in both Draco & Narcissa's minds by the end of DH, is not that he hurts them directly, it's that he says nothing, does nothing, when his son is branded by the Dark Lord and sent on a suicide mission, is that he says nothing, does nothing, when his wife and son are openly mocked by the Death Eaters, who do as they please in his own home. If Voldemort threatened to torture either of them, Lucius would probably fall to his knees, beg for mercy, but he would not, could not bring himself to stand up and dive in front of the curse. He would watch, horrified, as they are tortured- that is what spoils their view of him in the end.

As the author herself has said, the Malfoys' saving grace is that they love each other.

His fault is cowardice, not cruelty (to family at least) and that's the hill I'll die on.

Lucius, as a character, represents the banality of evil. Indifference. Cowardice. Casual cruelty. Upholding of unjust systems. Not sadism. If you don't understand the difference, you're a bad writer.

Moving on.

He was highly competent in the First War. And by competent I mean competent. There is no way this guy was Voldemort's... second in command (?) or at least one of his top-ranking Death Eaters if he acted anything like he did post-Voldemort's rebirth.

I don't know whether to cry or laugh at his character, actually. He's so petty (he tries to ban The Fountain of Magical Fortune from the Hogwarts Library because it depicts the relationship between a witch and a Muggle, which he deems obscene, and when Dumbledore replies “Nu-uh, suck it, I know about all the Half-bloods in your family tree you hide”, the response prompted several further letters from Lucius, consisting of "opprobrious remarks" on Dumbledore's sanity, parentage, and hygiene).

He's a simp for his wife, whom he loves more than anything in the world (except maybe for Draco). He tries to send Draco to Durmstrang, where Karkaroff is headmaster and no Muggleborns are allowed, and Narcissa says “No, I want my son close to home” and that's the end of that. He puts up with having Bellatrix in his house (she really doesn't like him), and the two of them don't kill each other merely for Cissa's sake.

In my headcanons, they didn't hate each other in the First War. They weren't best friends by any means but they respected each other well enough and had a somewhat cordial if a bit prickly relationship (although, I love fics that get their bickering right). But then Halloween 1981 happens. I have a lot of headcanons for that night and I don't think I've ever really detailed them, so I will now.

They have an early dinner all together - Lucius, Narcissa, Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan - and then the Lestranges leave. After the clock strikes ten, they feel a searing pain in their forearms. The Mark is gone. There are a few minutes of what the fuck do we do now and two very distinct ideas pop up. Bellatrix would rather die than forsake Voldemort, she's willing to battle every soul in Britain if it means finding him. He is not dead, he is not. He is immortal. They have him, they've captured him with some weird trick and are holding him hostage. Lucius, on the other hand, takes a good, hard look at his left forearm and decides well, this fucking sucks but at least we had a good run. He is not about to risk his family name by picking duels with the Aurors. The second after he's waltzing in the Ministry, telling everyone who'll listen that he's just woken up from the Imperius Curse, and blackmailing/bribing/threatening his way out of Azkaban. You must do the same!, Lucius and Narcissa tell Bellatrix. Traitors, backstabbers, vermin, is the reply. She is truly, seriously, hurt and furious that they would denounce the Dark Lord. To her, it's the most horrid of betrayals.

This is when she loses her second sister. It's the moment Narcissa makes it clear that not only she will denounce Voldemort with every breath, but she will stop Lucius from going after a dead master. We have a son, Bella, he is our priority. We have a son, and you do not. You don't know what it means. It's a nice little parallel to the end of Deathly Hallows - I cannot stress this enough: Narcissa's lie to save her son causes her sister's death. Narcissa indirectly kills her. Bellatrix and Narcissa's relationship is never the same after that.

On a lighter note. It's canon that Lucius has little hobbies: peacocks and collecting Dark artefacts!

Also, he has a sick interior designer because the secret chamber beneath their living room is a marvellous idea, I need one of those.

A bit of a germophobe.

Cruel, but again: casual cruelty. Yes, he enjoys tormenting Muggles because they are less than human to him; no, he does not enjoy watching little Mudblood children get bitten by Greyback or Muggle women being raped (and no, before you ask, he would never lower himself to something like that, even if Narcissa wasn't in the picture).

Inspired by the movies, of course, but he has great fashion sense.

He was nice looking, definitely not incredibly handsome (unlike my boy Rodolphus who is hot) but he was very charismatic, so much so that Narcissa Black fell desperately for him, much to Andromeda's dismay and Bellatrix's perplexity.

Elaborate courting ritual (peacock-like, get it? ah ah).

The second most extravagant wedding of the century (Bella & Rod take the cake on that, you have no idea).

I am fascinated by his relationship with Voldemort. By the end of the second war, the two pretty much despise each other (and if Cursed Child is to be believed - which I don't - Lucius had a Time Turner tucked away and never once tried to use it to bring Vold back). But what about during the first war? Lucius' loyalties were always to the Cause more than to the man, and yet he is given the Diary. First War Lucius must have been fascinated by Voldemort - we see a hint of this in GoF when he asks Voldemort to tell them how he managed to survive the Killing Curse.

I think Voldemort saw this fascination and somehow, in his usual arrogance, misunderstood it. You see, the way I think of (and write) the Death Eaters is very Succession-y: everyone wants to be Voldemort's favourite, the one to sit to his right, the closest to him. During the First War, Lucius would have sold his mother to be closest to Voldemort. His entire worldview shifts when Draco is born, and as Lucius grows to love him. The same went for everyone else, including Snape. This is why, to me, Voldemort doesn't see their betrayals years later: he is used to thinking that they would do anything, sacrifice anyone, for him. He doesn't see that the love they feel for others is stronger than whatever fucked-up bond is there.

And, if you think about it, the two Death Eaters that are truly, fanatically, loyal above everything else are the two that are in love with/love him. Bellatrix and Barty.

Stopping now because my head is falling on my keyboard from sleepiness. Hope you enjoyed! I probably have more somewhere.

[wumiings]

The thing that really gets me about Merlin and Arthur’s dynamic re: being simultaneously friends (implies equality) and master/servant (unequal) is the way they both understand what this means so differently.

Like, Arthur is not deliberately cruel as a person. He sometimes lashes out in anger— particularly to cover hurt, fear, or insecurity— and is not above using his and Merlin’s relative stations to his advantage in the moment. But while this is certainly not okay, it does not characterize most of their interactions.

Most of the time, when Arthur insults Merlin, or roughhouses with him, or assigns him too many chores just to be petty, he clearly seems to think of it as friendly banter/play. And when Merlin insults him right back, or complains without real heat, or half-asses the chores, Arthur takes it as confirmation that they’re on the same page.

Because here’s the thing: when Arthur says, “You’re my servant, so we can’t be friends [paraphrase: but under other circumstances, we might be],” what he means is that they are obviously friends but they’re not allowed to call each other that, or act like it. It’s against the social rules of their environment to acknowledge their friendship.

But that is not what those words mean to Merlin. He does see Arthur as a friend, but not in the sense that they’re just playing along with the roles of servant and master. Because unlike Arthur, there is an inherent threat to Merlin’s safety and well-being implied by any reminder of those roles.

“You’re almost like a friend [except you’re my servant]” doesn’t just mean they can’t use the word. It means “I have power over you, and in moments when it’s inconvenient to treat you as a friend (see: the anger), I can and will use that power to put you back in your place.”

It’s a reminder that Arthur has fired, overworked, struck, imprisoned, threatened with exile, and held a sword to Merlin’s throat before, and so long as Merlin needs to keep his magic a secret for the sake of staying by Arthur’s side, he is powerless to do anything about it. It could happen again.

Merlin insults Arthur because he knows he can get away with it (as long as he stops when more serious threats are invoked). He complains but allows those complaints to be taken as jokes/exaggerations, because he doesn’t expect his hurts to be taken seriously and doesn’t feel comfortable making himself vulnerable to Arthur about how his actions affect him.

The chores situation in particular aggravates me to no end, because Merlin is routinely expected to do things that do not by any means fall under the purview of a personal servant. Why would he be mucking out the stables?? Surely there are stable hands who are paid to do that. And why does he do the laundry himself instead of delivering it to the laundress?

All this in addition to apprenticing with Gaius (or working as a fully qualified physician post-4x08) and going along on patrols/missions/etc. doing what I’m pretty sure would normally be a squire’s duties? As none of the knights seem to have one??

Admittedly, Merlin sometimes insists on going along on missions for Protecting Arthur Reasons, which is not Arthur’s fault, but still. Arthur knows the kind of hours Merlin is putting in. Which makes moments like in 3x01, when he undervalues, belittles, and then intentionally undoes Merlin’s hard work (cleaning the floor) so frustrating to watch.

But again, Arthur is not cruel! I never get the sense that he truly enjoys causing Merlin real emotional distress. The problem is that he consistently underestimates the amount of distress that Merlin is actually in — partly because (as previously stated) Merlin often undersells his own feelings.

TL;DR - Merlin is Arthur’s friend! His only/closest friend!! Arthur looks at Merlin and sees someone brave and loyal and absolutely worth risking his life for. But his privilege blinds him to the ways in which he fails to treat Merlin like a friend should. Outside of life-or-death situations, he doesn’t often behave as though he values Merlin (his time, his effort, his capabilities, or his friendship) particularly much. And that’s a fucking tragedy.

[why-are-you-still-awake]

|The person I hate the most| Sasuke x reader

Synopsis: You and Sasuke get put in the closet for seven minutes in heaven.

Word count: 1k

Content/warnings: Gn!reader, enemies to friends to possibly lovers, reconciliation, post war, 2nd person, no warnings really

……………………………………

It was no secret that you and Sasuke hated each other, or more like you hated Sasuke. The tension would always rise when the two of you were in the same room. One day, Sakura decided she wanted you to actually be social and she took it upon herself to make you come to a party; whether you liked it or not.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

You relent and get off your couch and open the door to find Sakura with a mischievous look on her face.

“What-“ You didn’t even get your words out before Sakura grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of your apartment.

“You’re coming with me whether you like it or not, you need to actually interact with people ya know?” Sakura said with a happy tone.

“Mm” you make a small noise in response

“Come onnnn! It’ll be fun, I stole some Sake from Tsunade.”

You eventually concede with a sigh, ripping your wrist from her grasp. “Fine.”

“You won’t regret this!”

~Timeskip to the party~

You were hiding in a corner, drinking some kool-aid. You didn’t want to be here, you didn’t understand why you let Sakura convince you to come here. You decided you had enough and started heading towards the exit of the house when Sakura appeared.

“No way, you’re staying.” She said, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the living room where everyone was sitting in a circle. She ushers you to sit down and sits beside you.

“Okay everyone, let’s play seven minutes in heaven.” Sakura said, grabbing a bottle to decide who goes in the closet with who

You hear a familiar scoffing sound and turn to see, Sasuke Uchiha, one of the people who you loathe the most. You give him a glare before turning your attention back to your hands.

“What are you looking at?” Sasuke said, his tone laced with irritation

“Nothing…”

Sakura grimaces at the clear tension between you and Sasuke, but she soon regains her cheerful demeanor

“Okay, you first,” She says, giving the bottle to you

“Alright.” You relent, spinning the bottle, it lands on Sasuke (shocker ikr?)

You almost immediately recoil when you register what happened.

“Absolutely not!” You exclaimed, clearly opposed to the idea of being forced into a confined space for 7 minutes with *him*

“Come on….” Naruto says, piping in his opinion “It’ll be fine.”

“There is no way in hell, I’ll be going in that closet with them…” Sasuke voiced, clearly feeling the same amount of disdain as you.

Sakura gets visibly irritated and takes it upon herself to grab the back of your shirts and physically drags you to the closet and shoves you inside. You’re about to force the closet door open when you hear her put a chair under the handle, effectively locking you and Sasuke in the closet together for the foreseeable future.

You sigh and slide down the wall, hugging your knees to your chest. Sasuke leans against the opposite wall, not even looking at you.

“You’re not allowed to leave until you solve your issues!” Sakura proclaimed, walking away from the door, leaving you and Sasuke alone with your thoughts.

You look at Sasuke before looking back down. “Something you wanna say?” Sasuke asked, his tone still irritated but slightly softer than before

“Not to you.”

“I didn’t think you were serious when you said you’d never forgive me.” Sasuke said, avoiding your gaze. “You have a backbone, I can respect that.”

You scoff and don’t look at him, you know how you feel and it’s hard to undo the damage and pain he caused. A small part of you wants to forgive him like Naruto and Sakura, but a petty part of you wants to spite him for the rest of your life if it means he can feel a fraction of the pain he inflicted on you. “Maybe you can learn in time to forgive?” You ponder the thought momentarily before pushing it out of your head.

“I’m always truthful in my words.” You say, finally glaring up at him, eyes filled with hate, disdain and……sadness.

Sasuke nods, staying leaned against the wall. “I want to make it right.”

“How do I know you’re being truthful? I can’t rely on you or believe anything you say! You’re unpredictable and frankly who knows you might turn against Konoha again for all I know!” You say, all your feelings pouring out at once. Ones you’ve kept suppressed since the war ended.

Sasuke seemed almost taken aback by the sudden display of emotion, he never expected that from you. “I’m sorry.” He said earnestly

“Be sorry, it doesn’t change what you’ve done.

“What if I can prove myself?” Sasuke asked, genuinely wanting to mend the relationship between you two.

You ponder this for a moment and eventually say “I don’t know, you broke my trust.”

“I know and I want to make it better like I did with Naruto and Sakura.” He seemed pretty honest in the way he was speaking, like he wanted to be a better person and better friend.

“Listen….its not that easy for me, Sasuke. Even if I’m being too emotional about this, what you did still hurt and broke my trust in you completely.”

“I understand but please, give me the chance to fix things even if it’s a small one.”

You lean against the wall, glancing at the light seeping in from the outside. You pick the skin of your cuticles in thought, coming to a conclusion.

You stand up and finally meet his gaze. “I’ll give you one chance to fix this.” You say, sounding like you mean business.

Sasuke nods and gives a barely visible smile “I appreciate it. I’m trying to be a better person honestly.”

“That remains to be seen” you speak in a honest tone.

“Still, thank you.” Sasuke said with a small nod.

You didn’t know if he truly changed but you feel that small part of yourself that wanted to forgive him coming to life again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: I hope you liked it, it was a random thought and kinda rushed but I think it came out fine.

edit: originally I posted this on my alt, but I want to put it here.

Do not repost

[vashatxt]

kaveh x alhaitham (top kaveh) bdsm & pet play with breeding kink <3

anonymous asked: Could you write Kaveh x Alhaitham with Top Kaveh, pet play, BDSM, degradation, and D/s dynamics. Also if you wouldn't mind I would love to see there breeding kink (ofc if you aren't comfortable with writing that I understand)

of course, not a problem at all! see under cut <3

cw: bdsm, degradation, pet play, d/s, breeding kink. this is kavetham for those of you who are only into haikaveh <3

Something snaps in Kaveh. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, Alhaitham finds it hard to keep the satisfied smile off his usually unreadable face. 

It’s usually a petty argument that tips him over the edge, Alhaitham knows how to push his buttons, treading the line between actually pissing him off and letting him know he’s up for more. It’s worked in his favor today; because now Alhaitham is on his knees, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and a green-and-silver collar; a leash attached to it, the other end wrapped around Kaveh’s delicate wrist. 

“Thought I’d taught you better than to scrap with your master,” he says, giving it a tug as he walks in a circle around him, hard enough that Alhaitham feels the cold metal of the collar tight against the base of his throat. “You know what happens when a pup misbehaves, right?”

Alhaitham whimpers. 

“And to think, I was feeling sorry for you…,”

“Sorry for me?”

"Thought maybe you were desperate. Feeling all hard and hot and het up and pathetic, wanting nothing more than to mount me from behind," he tugs again. "And filling my stomach with your seed. Yeah, I thought so."

Goosebumps spread across Alhaitham's arms, Kaveh's words make him shudder, the familiar fire in the pit of his stomach rushing right down to his swollen crotch stoked by the fact that his master can read him like a book. Even when he fucks him, it's on Kaveh's terms. Just one word, one stop or pause, and he can ruin Alhaitham's night - Kaveh loves playing with him, edging him like that, so much that it's been a long, long time since he's been able to lose control inside of him, breed him until his tiny stomach swells up from how much of his cum he's taking...

Where's your composure, Haitham - he wonders to himself as Kaveh raises his eyebrows, staring down at his dump pup. He can feel drool pooling at the side of his lips, and is pretty sure Kaveh can read every thought on his mind.

"But you know what, Hayi?" He pouts. "Bad dogs don't get what they want. How else will they learn?"

Kaveh lets his shoulders droop and mock-shrugs as if it's all Alhaitham's fault; then looks at his end of the leash. "I better keep this on you for a while. Don't want you running off your heat all around the house. I've had a long day, I can't put up with your begging."

Alhaitham blinks, knowing what's coming but begging it to not be true. Kaveh crosses over to the dining table, bends down, and ties the lead around one of the heavy legs. Then, he returns to Alhaitham's side, grinning.

"Got something to say, Hayi?"

"Kaveh, please -,"

"Aghh," he sucks the air between his teeth, scowling. "I was really hoping, for your sake...,"

Kaveh reaches into his pocket and slowly produces two items, dangling them in front of his face. A pair of rope cuffs, and a...

"Ballgag. Handcuffs. Those should allow me to have a peaceful evening of looking over some client briefs without having to worry about a needy pup humping my leg, right?"

When he's finished tightening the cuffs behind his back, such strong rope that any attempt to wiggle out of them would only result in burn on Alhaitham's wrists, Kaveh pats one cheek condescendingly before placing the gag into his mouth. Alhaitham struggles against it, but Kaveh is a pro, his fingers quick and skilled at fastening the clip around his head, his eyes glimmering with satisfaction.

"Now," he chuckles to himself, stepping back to admire his work. Alhaitham's vocalising comes out as nothing more than faint muffles and the sound of air sucking and pushing through the small ventilation holes in the ball. Kaveh cocks his head for a second. "I have to go get my Kamera. Document what a pathetic little slut you are."

(end)

[i-only-write-about-naruto-here]

|The person I hate the most| Sasuke x reader

A/n: I wrote this during my lunch break, sorry if it seems rushed

Synopsis: You and Sasuke get put in the closet for seven minutes in heaven.

Word count: 1k

Content/warnings: Gn!reader, enemies to friends to possibly lovers, reconciliation, post war, 2nd person, no warnings really

……………………………………

It was no secret that you and Sasuke hated each other, or more like you hated Sasuke. The tension would always rise when the two of you were in the same room. One day, Sakura decided she wanted you to actually be social and she took it upon herself to make you come to a party; whether you liked it or not.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

You relent and get off your couch and open the door to find Sakura with a mischievous look on her face.

“What-“ You didn’t even get your words out before Sakura grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of your apartment.

“You’re coming with me whether you like it or not, you need to actually interact with people ya know?” Sakura said with a happy tone.

“Mm” you make a small noise in response

“Come onnnn! It’ll be fun, I stole some Sake from Tsunade.”

You eventually concede with a sigh, ripping your wrist from her grasp. “Fine.”

“You won’t regret this!”

~Timeskip to the party~

You were hiding in a corner, drinking some kool-aid. You didn’t want to be here, you didn’t understand why you let Sakura convince you to come here. You decided you had enough and started heading towards the exit of the house when Sakura appeared.

“No way, you’re staying.” She said, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the living room where everyone was sitting in a circle. She ushers you to sit down and sits beside you.

“Okay everyone, let’s play seven minutes in heaven.” Sakura said, grabbing a bottle to decide who goes in the closet with who

You hear a familiar scoffing sound and turn to see, Sasuke Uchiha, one of the people who you loathe the most. You give him a glare before turning your attention back to your hands.

“What are you looking at?” Sasuke said, his tone laced with irritation

“Nothing…”

Sakura grimaces at the clear tension between you and Sasuke, but she soon regains her cheerful demeanor

“Okay, you first,” She says, giving the bottle to you

“Alright.” You relent, spinning the bottle, it lands on Sasuke (shocker ikr?)

You almost immediately recoil when you register what happened.

“Absolutely not!” You exclaimed, clearly opposed to the idea of being forced into a confined space for 7 minutes with *him*

“Come on….” Naruto says, piping in his opinion “It’ll be fine.”

“There is no way in hell, I’ll be going in that closet with them…” Sasuke voiced, clearly feeling the same amount of disdain as you.

Sakura gets visibly irritated and takes it upon herself to grab the back of your shirts and physically drags you to the closet and shoves you inside. You’re about to force the closet door open when you hear her put a chair under the handle, effectively locking you and Sasuke in the closet together for the foreseeable future.

You sigh and slide down the wall, hugging your knees to your chest. Sasuke leans against the opposite wall, not even looking at you.

“You’re not allowed to leave until you solve your issues!” Sakura proclaimed, walking away from the door, leaving you and Sasuke alone with your thoughts.

You look at Sasuke before looking back down. “Something you wanna say?” Sasuke asked, his tone still irritated but slightly softer than before

“Not to you.”

“I didn’t think you were serious when you said you’d never forgive me.” Sasuke said, avoiding your gaze. “You have a backbone, I can respect that.”

You scoff and don’t look at him, you know how you feel and it’s hard to undo the damage and pain he caused. A small part of you wants to forgive him like Naruto and Sakura, but a petty part of you wants to spite him for the rest of your life if it means he can feel a fraction of the pain he inflicted on you. “Maybe you can learn in time to forgive?” You ponder the thought momentarily before pushing it out of your head.

“I’m always truthful in my words.” You say, finally glaring up at him, eyes filled with hate, disdain and……sadness.

Sasuke nods, staying leaned against the wall. “I want to make it right.”

“How do I know you’re being truthful? I can’t rely on you or believe anything you say! You’re unpredictable and frankly who knows you might turn against Konoha again for all I know!” You say, all your feelings pouring out at once. Ones you’ve kept suppressed since the war ended.

Sasuke seemed almost taken aback by the sudden display of emotion, he never expected that from you. “I’m sorry.” He said earnestly

“Be sorry, it doesn’t change what you’ve done.

“What if I can prove myself?” Sasuke asked, genuinely wanting to mend the relationship between you two.

You ponder this for a moment and eventually say “I don’t know, you broke my trust.”

“I know and I want to make it better like I did with Naruto and Sakura.” He seemed pretty honest in the way he was speaking, like he wanted to be a better person and better friend.

“Listen….its not that easy for me, Sasuke. Even if I’m being too emotional about this, what you did still hurt and broke my trust in you completely.”

“I understand but please, give me the chance to fix things even if it’s a small one.”

You lean against the wall, glancing at the light seeping in from the outside. You pick the skin of your cuticles in thought, coming to a conclusion.

You stand up and finally meet his gaze. “I’ll give you one chance to fix this.” You say, sounding like you mean business.

Sasuke nods and gives a barely visible smile “I appreciate it. I’m trying to be a better person honestly.”

“That remains to be seen” you speak in a honest tone.

“Still, thank you.” Sasuke said with a small nod.

You didn’t know if he truly changed but you feel that small part of yourself that wanted to forgive him coming to life again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/n: I hope you liked it, it was a random thought and kinda rushed but I think it came out fine.

[autumn-foxfire]

Movie 20!

This one is pretty sad T-T At least the ending.

Amuro, this is NOT the time to pick petty fights with Akai. Imagine being the owner of that red car sent flying though T-T Must have been terrifying.

Although, all these pile ups are the reason why police actually stop chasing criminals when they get in congested areas so innocents won't be harms by the recklessness of an escaping criminal and the idiots who decided to chase after them in a crowded location (yes I am calling you out Amuro).

I wonder if Akai's car is his own or if it belongs to the Kudo's.

Akai: Please help with the cleanup.

James turning on the TV: ...For gods sake Akai.

It's kind of funny for Shinichi to describe Amuro's hatred of Akai as something that is returned because Akai just seems to have fun with it.

Vermouth <3 My favourite evil lady.

Only Shinichi would notice something odd by sniffing XD

The kids are so pure of heart. They were so excited to go on the ferris wheel but the moment someone needed help they ditched all of those plans to help them. And it's because of these pure hearts that the ending happens T-T

Looks like the movies haven't forgotten Ai's BO sense.

I love the difference between Ai's approach to the organization and Shinichi's. Ai knows they can't be left alone but because she's scared of them she's extremely cautious about how she handles them to the point of inaction, meanwhile Shinichi is too obsessive with them to the point of being reckless if he doesn't have others to keep him in check which can put others in a lot of danger.

And it's because of this they struggle to communicate when it comes to the BO.

I can't believe they're just letting Shinichi have evidence XD They put so much faith in a 7 year old.

Shinichi has taught the kids well though, when in doubt, use Takagi to get intelligence.

The dolphin charm T-T

Ai and Shinichi have the deepest moments in this series and we love them for it.

And this is how they get Ran in danger so Shinichi can have his "save" Ran moment. I wish they wouldn't do this with her character and just give her a fucking role instead.

Sonoko: Why didn't you invite Shinichi?

Ran without fail: First, why would I? And secondly, how?

And of course Sonoko suggests Shinichi is "cheating" (you can't cheat on a person you're not dating) because these two are never allowed to do things for themselves, they must have to always be together or it's suspicious.

Fuck the romance of this series, I swear to god it's so fucking gross.

Time for Amuro and Akai to have a homoerotic fight on top of a ferris wheel. And what a beautiful backdrop for this fight it is.

Meanwhile Shinichi is doing their jobs by finding he bombs.

Shinichi: AKAI WHY AREN'T YOU DOING YOUR JOB?!

Akai: Sorry Shinichi, a lil bitch wants to fight me first.

Sonoko, I'm sorry but it's pretty hypocritical calling Ran a pushover for not believing Shinichi is having an affair but will just let Ran allow Shinichi to walk all over her normally. If you truly care about Ran, get her to ditch him.

I can't remember if canon has shared that Rei knows Matsuda before of it is first revealed in this movie.

And Shinichi has won another org member over with his charms. Or maybe she was going to only tell Rum until she's forced to have a change of plans.

Amuro: I don't know what happened but I can use the light.

Shinichi: I fell through the ferris wheel because of Gin. You're welcome.

Gin pressing the button over and over expecting a result is pretty fucking funny. He's like push push. Oh it broke.

Well time for Plan C! Guns!

Akai is not having a good time this movie. He's trying to be badass but he keeps being stopped. Sadly for him, this movie's focus is on Curacao.

Gin is such a lil bitch though. He's like "well if my detonater won't work, I'll just use the gun."

I don't know how the org manages to stay hidden when they pull shit like this.

Akai finally gets to have his moment.

Gin is still a lil bitch.

Awww Ai used her own body to protect Ayumi.

Amuro and Akai make a great team when they work together so they should bury the hatchet and just bury themselves inside each other instead.

CURACAO T-T I can't believe we actually had someone crushed to death in Detective Conan.

And Ai is traumatized.

Someone get her to therapy, please. And Shinichi because he's realised what just happened too.

LIKE DAMN WHAT A DEPRESSING ENDING.

Shinichi and Ai can never tell the kids the truth T-T Even though it's due to the kids that everyone's lives were saved.

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Hello! Can I plz ask for the ROTTMNT brothers (separately) react to their s/o being cute and innocent? Like they love watching animated movies, become a blushing mess if there's a kissing scene in a movie or in real life, love to draw, cook/bake, and dance, also are curious about everything. Oh, and they don't understand dirty jokes and if someone curses they put a hand over their mouth and look flabbergasted. They also are shorter than them and have small hands.

Raph, Leo, Donnie and Mikey x innocent Reader

Raph

★ He's a little embarrassed to tell you how much he likes kids shows/movies. He acts like he watches them for your sake but we all know the truth. He really likes sitcoms and slice of life films.

★ Raph can fit both of your hands in his and it makes you a blushing mess. It doesn't help that he likes to hold your hand.

★ Anyone who makes a dirty joke or swears around you is getting the look. You know what I'm talking about, the look that just says "you messed up" without actually saying anything.

★ He always tells you how much he cares about you. If anything happened to you he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Leo calls you an "old married couple" because the two of you act like one.

Leo

★ Oh you're shorter than him? Ho, ho, ho.. Be ready to get teased. But he's the only one who's allowed to do that. If anybody else tried to, he's quick to defend your honor by getting himself into a fairly petty fight.

★ He acts like the typical "knight in shining armor" when you have a problem and tries to fix it for you. His end goal is to get you to praise him.

★ This guy starts whining when you start to bake or cook because he knows he's not aloud to help. Last time he tried to help you the kitchen caught on fire.

Donnie

★ To preserve your innocence he has added a content filter on all your devices, nothing is getting past it. All swear words now get censored and look like white squares, like this: ◻️◻️◻️

★ Baking is kinda like chemistry, right? If you invite him over to bake with you he takes it upon himself to measure everything out for you and re-reads the instructions at least 5 times.

★ He's seen a lot of kids shows because of you and his favorites are Adventure time and Courage the cowardly dog. You have weekly movie nights and take turns picking what to watch.

Mikey

★ Like raph, he loves kids shows and movies. But unlike him he prefers animation. Something tells me he's watched all of the studio ghibli films. (His favorite is ponyo)

★ You better let him pick you up. Now that he has a S/o that is shorter than him he wants to try carrying you. Your relationship is very wholesome.

★ Date night's with him include laying on a blanket on top of a building, drawing stuff in each other's sketchbook together and eating snacks he made for the two of you.

★ His brothers love you because each time you come over they get amazing baked goods, needless to say Splinter likes to invite you over. Hell, his entire family wants Mikey to hurry up and put a ring on you.

[rocketyship]

In the general introduction page for the survivors, you said that Evan will occasionally be taken somewhere by BE so she can remind him about “the role of a man” in her society. If it’s not a spoiler or anything, could you elaborate on what she does to him out there?

The overly simplified answer is glorified laser tag.

But the longer explanation is as follows:

BE takes Evan into the ever changing labyrinth around the sanctuary, where he is made to play an elaborate game of hunting down fake monsters BE creates (they can’t actually harm him), where not only must he actively hunt down and shoot the monsters down but also actively avoid AM stalking him with a laser-type sniper, that if he gets hit with automatically drags him to the closest wall, floor or ceiling where he gets stuck for a solid two minutes (it’s very silly looking I won’t lie), if he gets shot three or more times the game is over and BE has varies reactions depending on how much effort Evan put in. If he doesn’t try at all, she goes on a very flowery worded speech on how it’s a man’s job to be the “protector” and “hero”, and usually makes him play again until he actually tries. If he does try and makes it far, she usually praises him and gives him a reward of his choice.

Overall the game itself is something only Evan can partake in, and the girls aren’t allowed to (BE has other valuable activities for them, such as… crochet? Gloria isn’t allowed to hold the needles though, so she kind of just sits there). Before each round Evan is given a head start before AM, and allowed to pick from a variety of safe weapons and items. Still AM does tend to beat him 90% of the time (he’s a machine designed for war can’t imagine how he wouldn’t be good at laser tag) , where the few exceptions are when Evan gets petty, asking for the things like soap, water and even those glue rat traps, which AM not knowing about them exactly, would usually slip or get stuck. In these cases Evan has the opportunity to shoot him. If AM is shot he experiences pain. Essentially the game is a poor mimic of the war, BE fully intending to rewrite it into an odd victory for humanity, using Evan as her little puppet show.

BE’s idea of a man is a heroic provider, someone who’d willingly throw themselves into danger for the sake of others. Evan isn’t like that though, and she is very very determined to change that.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

The Hazards of Living with Remy Holmes

Ao3

Summary: In general, Logan found living with Remy to be manageable, if occasionally annoying and/or nonsensical. Logan would appreciate, however, if their sibling could stop breaking into their apartment while Logan was there. Content: Sherlock Holmes AU; bickering, deductions, listen this is mostly logan and virgil verbally sparring while everyone flexes their low-level deduction muscles Pairings: Logan & Remy (future QPR), Remy & Virgil (siblings), Logan & Virgil (forced to put up with each other because of Remy) Notes: Hello TS fandom of 2024. How's it been

~

“Remy? Remy, have you seen my jacket?” Logan called out in his still fairly new apartment, halfway down the hall between his room and the apartment’s main sitting area as he spoke. His still fairly new roommate had been out the past few hours, but Logan had heard the door open while he had been shuffling through his closet for the fourth time that day. Normally, Logan would simply assume he had left his jacket at work- a not terribly uncommon occurrence, especially when he worked later shifts- but living with Remy came with a unique set of risk factors Logan had to keep a constant eye on. Case in point: “I swear, if you’ve got it wrapped around another ham-”

Reaching the end of the hallway, Logan cut himself off as he realized who was actually in the sitting area, frowning. “Ah. Virgil. I apologize, I didn’t realize we had been broken into.”

Virgil, sitting in one of the apartment’s armchairs like he belonged there, just smirked at Logan’s dry tone. “Not breaking in if I have a key, doc.”

“It is if we didn’t give you that key.” Logan countered, wrinkling his nose at the nickname. “And please, call me Dr. Watson. I’d hate for us to get friendly.”

Virgil chuckled. “Still holding a grudge, are we?”

“You kidnapped me, threatened me, and accused me of having homicidal intentions. I believe I have the right to a grudge.”

“Shouldn’t that be water under the bridge by now? I said sorry, didn’t I?”

“It’s been two months.” Logan reminded, crossing his arms. “And no, you haven’t.”

“Well, I’m sorry.” Virgil said, sounding about as apologetic as Logan had when he had greeted the intruder. “Better now?”

“Apology not accepted.” Logan answered flatly. “Might I ask why you have decided to darken my apartment?”

“Is visiting my sibling not a good enough reason for me to want to stop by?”

“Not dressed like that it isn’t.” Logan nodded at Virgil’s outfit, a well-fitted suit that would put the MIB’s to shame. Virgil did, occasionally, drop by just for the sake of a visit, but he arrived informally in those instances, imitating the mundane lives of civilians by doing things such as ‘wearing hoodies’ and ‘knocking on the door.’

Virgil glanced down at himself, as if he might have forgotten what he arrived. He tugged on his dark purple tie, the only hint of colour he allowed his formal wear, straightening it incrementally before looking back up at Logan. “You caught me. I have a case for Remy of… some governmental importance. Nothing dire, but important enough we want to ensure it’s handled properly.”

“You have a case for us, then.” Logan corrected, the statement petty, entirely for the sake of drawing a reaction. Logan was dragged alongside Remy to every case the unofficial detective worked, whether he liked it or not, and Virgil knew that perfectly well. It made no meaningful difference to Logan whether or not Virgil acknowledged that, but, as established, he was still holding a grudge over their first meeting. “That’s what you meant to say, correct?”

The annoyance that entered Virgil’s expression was slight, but Logan considered it a major success on his part.

Before Virgil could choose his response, the doorknob of the front door began to jiggle slightly, shaken by the motion of someone inserting their key. Both him and Logan turned to watch as the door was unlocked and pushed open as Remy entered, taking a moment to fully remove their key before closing the door behind them.

“I’m back, babes!” Remy greeted the apartment automatically as they dropped their keychain onto the shelf mounted above the sitting room’s lightswitch, flashing Logan a smile when they realized he was right in front of them. Their motions remained fairly routine up until they spotted Virgil, looking surprised by his presence but not as upset as Logan had been (and was). “Well this is unexpected.”

“I know I didn’t mention I’d be dropping in-”

Remy waved Virgil off before he could finish his sentence. “No, not that. I’d be more surprised if you gave me a heads up before swinging by, to be honest. I just can’t believe you and Lo managed to occupy the same room, alone, without killing each other.”

“As if your doctor could kill me.”

“The restraint I have showcased so far is not insubstantial.”

Logan and Virgil shot twin glares at each other as their replies overlapped, Remy laughing at the show. “Alright, girls, you’re both pretty. No need to start a fight now.”

“I would hardly-” Logan trailed off as he looked back towards Remy, paying more attention to the details of his appearance at the second glance than he had the first (more occupied then with the relief Remy’s company would provide). Specifically, he was paying more attention to the dark blue leather that was draped over them. “...Is that my jacket?”

Between their sunglasses and generally relaxed attitude, it wasn’t always the easiest thing to follow Remy’s thoughts, but Logan was still able to catch the quick twitch of their face. “Ah… is it? Could’ve sworn it was one of mine.”

In the peripheral of his vision, Logan watched Virgil raise an eyebrow. “It’s a size too big for you, Rem.”

Remy raised the hand holding their coffee cup in mock surrender. “Ok, you caught me. I was in a rush this morning, I wasn’t thinking and grabbed the first jacket I saw. Not my fault you left yours in the kitchen, hun.”

Logan sighed, though the sound wasn’t as annoyed as it probably should have been. Really, in the grand scheme of living-with-Remy things, his jacket getting accidentally commandeered was relatively harmless. “How far your brilliant deductive reasoning skills get you.”

Remy grinned at the (admittedly) heatless jab. From where he was still relegated to the corner of Logan’s vision, Virgil frowned, expression twisting into a more severe version of the one Remy wore when they were working out a particularly complicated puzzle.

Thankfully, he chose not to comment on whatever observation he had pulled out of thin air, instead clearing his throat to call back the room’s attention. “Yeah, speaking up your skills-”

“Let me guess: you’ve got a case for us.” Remy finished for him, missing the smug look Logan shot Virgil as they took a sip of their coffee. “Alright then, lay it on me. Since I know you won’t leave me alone ‘til it’s handled.”

“And this is the part where I step out.” Logan said before Virgil could begin, not in the mood to go through their usual song and dance of Virgil telling Remy the bare minimum of case-related information while making it very clear that Logan was the one with the lowest level of ‘need-to-know’ clearance. He moved across the sitting area, passing Remy to slip on the shoes he kept by the door. “You didn’t get the mail from Patton as you came up, did you?”

“I didn’t, no.”

“Then I shall use that as my excuse. I’m sure he’ll be happy to entertain me for at least five minutes.” Logan grabbed his keys from the shelf, aware he didn’t truly need them but wanting to have them nonetheless, and pulled open the door. “Remy, I trust you’ll fill me in on what I miss.”

“Yeah, of course, babes- but, wait a sec.” Logan paused in the doorway, turning his body around to face Remy once more. “You sure Pat’s going to be there? Today’s when he usually has his baking class.”

To the outside onlooker, Remy’s comment would have been perceived as nothing more than an innocent, and reasonable, observation. Patton’s baking classes were held twice weekly, Patton went to them consistently, and Logan had no direct reason to believe Patton would have skipped that day’s class for no reason.

Logan, however, was not the outside onlooker, and over the tops of Remy’s sunglasses, he could see the way their eyes glinted with a completely different question, one Logan was happy to answer.

“I’m certain he will be. His class was cancelled.”

“Oh yeah?” Remy prompted, grinning as he set Logan up. To the side, Virgil shifted in his seat, likely having picked up on the fact that Remy was building the conversation up to something. “How’d you know that?”

The corner of his mouth tipping up into a self-satisfied smile, Logan turned towards Virgil. “Because Virgil styled his hair.” He answered simply, taking a moment to appreciate as Virgil’s expression morphed from suspicion into outrage before he breezed out the door, shutting it behind him. The last thing he heard was Remy, laughing like the two of them had just told the funniest joke in the world.

Yes, living with Remy came with a unique set of challenges. But Logan found that, for Remy, he could be adaptable.