#he's so good! the thing where he manages to put aside everything he's been told his ENTIRE LIFE about why he's a sad orphan who is bullied

[ryukatters]

4EVA (that means forever) - s. gojo

⟡ Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem! Reader

⟡ Content/warnings: //smut, //cockwarming, //unprotected smex, overstimulation, //cunnilingus, //cum eating, some dub con if you squint, lovesick! Gojo, Gojo’s also a little shit but what’s new? (Pls let me know if I forgot anything) 

⟡ A/N: brain go brrrrr. i want him so bad. completely not proofread

⟡ Summary: I know two things and two things only: 1) Satoru Gojo is obsessed with you and 2) he is obsessed with overstimulating you

⟡ wc: 1.8k

Your boyfriend is annoying. 

You hate him. You want him. Everything’s too much. It’s not enough.

You snap out of your stupor at the sound of Satoru’s voice. “I thought I told you to focus, sweetheart,” he tuts with a teasing tilt. 

You want to scoff. How could you not focus when the very person asking you to is the same one that’s consuming all your senses? 

“Fuck you, Satoru,” you hiss. Unsurprisingly, no matter how much venom laces your tone, your words go rushing straight to his dick. You’re just too cute, all the time, Satoru thinks. Especially when you’re like this, completely at his mercy. All bark and no bite. Though he wouldn’t mind if you had the latter, either. He likes it when you put up a fight, because making you fall apart is so much sweeter that way. 

You can feel him twitch inside you. The dull throbbing within you makes you shudder with pleasure, still over-sensitive from how Satoru’s managed to fuck you until you’re cock-drunk and delirious. A whine manages to escape from your lips, and Satoru can’t help but laugh. You can snap at him all you want, but he knows exactly how to give it to you, just how you like it. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” he hums into your ear, running his large hands up and down your body in an attempt to comfort you. Goosebumps are left in the wake of where his burning hands pass. “Sensitive, huh? I haven’t even done anything to you.” 

Liar, you think. Gojo’s managed to take orgasm after orgasm out of you— always urging you with a, “It’s okay baby, I’ve got you. You can give me one more, right?” —no matter how much you whine that it’s too much.

He’s insatiable in every regard to you. If he could, Satoru thinks he’d crawl under your skin and live there. 

You want to cry. You feel so very overwhelmed, all senses heightened. The hot puffs of Satoru’s breath over your neck, the way one of his hands squeeze at your tits, and the way the other snakes down between your legs to rub loving circles into your clit.

You gasp at the sudden surge in pleasure, head lolling back to rest on Satoru’s shoulder. You can still feel his lips against your neck, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he presses a kiss followed by a hard suck and loving bite against your jugular. Your hips involuntarily lift up, walls dragging against Satoru’s cock. He hisses before he slams you back down into his lap. 

“Nuh uh, pretty girl,” he borderline growls, hand leaving a warning slap against your clit. “The whole reason we’re here is because you didn’t want to behave. You’re going to take what I give you like the good girl I know you are.”

You nod like you understand, but your mind is far too hazy to take in anything aside from how your boyfriend is making you feel.

“Toru, toru, fuck. I’m gonna cum,” you cry out, nails digging deep crescents into either of your boyfriend’s thighs. 

“Yeah? Cum for me then, sweetheart.” 

The coil that’s slowly been threatening to unravel this whole time suddenly snaps, sending you spiraling into a state of euphoria. The pleasure is so mind-blowing it feels like you’ve ascended to heaven. 

Satoru’s eyes roll back into his head as he lets out a guttural groan. Your pussy pulses around his length, and he only gives a few shallow thrusts before a moan comes tumbling out of his lips and he paints your insides with his cum. His grip on you somehow gets even tighter, strong arms squeezing you as he rides out his orgasm, like his subconscious is determined to meld the two of you into one. 

You can barely comprehend what’s happening to you as Satoru slips out from behind you, and forces you onto your back as you hit the mattress with a soft thud. Your eyes flutter shut as you come down from your high. 

You feel a dip in the mattress by your legs. Your thoughts go static still. No, it can’t be. Your eyes snap open to see Satoru make himself at home in between your legs for what feels like the hundredth time today. 

He smiles sweetly up at you, planting a few open mouth kisses down your stomach and on the insides of your thighs. Your eyes meet his, and you’re hit with an overwhelming surge of emotions. Satoru’s eyes are blue like the clearest sky, and they could never hide anything from you. Right now, all you can see is pure, unadulterated want. There’s a predatory glint in his eyes that makes your legs feel like jelly. You stiffen, breathing jagged as your heartbeat quickens. 

Satoru wastes no time in pressing a sweet kiss to your clit, sucking lightly. His hands have a vice grip on your hips as you thrash beneath him, willing you to stay in place. 

“Toru, please,” you cry out. It feels like you’re begging, but you’re not quite sure for what. Release? Or for him to let you go so you can wipe that smug grin off his stupidly handsome face? “It’s too much, I can’t—“

“But you can, pretty,” he hums, with so much conviction that you start to believe him too. The subtle vibrations of his murmurs against your pussy do nothing for your near-delirious state. “And you will,” he says with finality.

There’s no room for arguing, because what Satoru wants is what Satoru gets.

And what Satoru wants right now is for you to fall apart even more for him, to feel the squeeze of your thighs against his head as you try to rock your hips against his face until he passes out. 

“Besides,” his tongue prods at your entrance, “we need to clean you up somehow. You’re dripping.” And to prove his point, he drags two fingers inside you, expertly hitting that spongey spot that knocks the wind out of your lungs and has you seeing stars. You can vaguely make out the lewd squelches that fill up the room, and the warm mix of yours and Satoru’s cum dripping out and down your slit. Your boyfriend watches in a trance as the milky white slick dribbles out of you, slowly but surely on its way to wet his bedsheets. He wastes no time in lapping it up before it can even hit the sheets. It would be a shame for any of that to be wasted, he thinks. 

“Look at me,” he demands. You manage to weakly prop yourself up on your shoulders, tears threatening to spill as Satoru continues you finger you. You look so needy, so pretty like this. Your lip juts out in a slight pout and Satoru swears he can cum just by looking at you. “There’s my good girl,” he all but coos. 

“You’re so perfect,” he rasps, and he shudders at the way you clench around his fingers at his praise. He alternates between sucking at your clit and licking up and down your pussy, moaning at the way you taste when combined with him. You taste phenomenal normally, but the fact that you would even grant him the privilege of letting him ruin you has his mind reeling, and it makes him a little crazy. 

You’re so, so close. Your eyes screw shut in an attempt to drown out everything that isn’t Satoru’s tongue and fingers. Just a little bit more— then all of a sudden the mind-numbing pleasure is gone, ripped away from you. 

“I thought I told you to look at me?” Satoru’s voice cuts through you, and although there’s a slight teasing tilt to his question, you know better than to disobey him a second time. That smile on his face promises no mercy. 

“Satoru, I—“

“If you want to cum, keep your eyes on me.” 

You know not to argue with him when he’s as pussydrunk as he is (though you also know that even if you didn’t listen, he’d let you cum anyways. Satoru could never refuse you that.) 

Satoru swears he’s found heaven between your thighs as you grind your pussy against his face. He’s practically making out with your pussy, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes as he suckles on your clit, his saliva mixing with your slick that begins to pool beneath you. Your incessant whines and chants of his name fill his ears and he feels dizzy. You look at him, dazed, and he can’t help but think that he’s never seen a sight more beautiful than you. 

A melody of your ecstasy and his bliss fill the open air. The wet sounds of his tongue slurping your pussy and his fingers stretching out your tiny hole are enough to make your ears burn. But all of that hardly matters when Satoru takes one of your hands and places it on top of his head, urging you to card your fingers through his white locks, tugging a bit roughly, just how he likes it. Satoru doesn’t let up, and the way he’s going down on you almost feels greedy. 

The familiar pleasure bubbling up within you threatens to spill again, and all you can do is babble as a tear slips down your cheek. Satoru hasn’t stopped looking at you, and even with him practically devouring you, the stare he gives you is primal and hungry. 

“You’re about to cum, aren’t you baby?” Though it seems more like a statement than a question. You nod desperately, clenching around Satoru’s fingers. 

“Need to cum so badly, Toru. Pleas—“ you begin to plead, but you’re cut short by a hard suck to your swollen clit and Satoru thrusting his fingers in and out of you at a quicker pace. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I know. I’ll let you cum.” 

You trill as you hit your umpteenth climax, with Satoru not stopping his ministrations until you’re pushing him away. He pulls away from your pussy with a slight pop and smiles at you, chin shimmering with his spit and your juices. He cages you underneath him, and gives you a loving kiss on the lips before he pulls away slightly. 

He grips your jaw, tapping his index finger against the plushness of your cheek. He grins when he hears you whimper. You open your eyes to meet his once more.  “Hey, pretty girl.” Satoru coos, sickeningly sweet. You can feel a wet spot accumulating on the apex of your thigh, followed by a few taps of something hard. 

“Think you can give me one more?”

Then y’all go for 3 more rounds

Work belongs to @ryukatters. Please do not repost or translate my writing anywhere.

[evieismol]

Chapter One: Earth

Easton's POV

Content warnings for this chapter: mentions of anxiety, mentions of hurting humans (doesn't happen)

So this was Earth. 

I had known things would be smaller on the distant blue and green planet, but as I stared down at the assortment of vehicles and people in front of me, it hit me that knowing and experiencing were two very different things. It wasn't like I hadn't seen humans - or human sized things before - but I'd always seen them on Aphiria. Where they were comparatively tiny to everything around them. As I took in the trees that didn't quite reach up to my ankles, it hit me that I was now the one that was mis-sized for my surroundings. My stomach turned at the realization of just how big I was compared to my surroundings.

The familiar, sharp edge of anxiety began to slice at my brain once more. It would be so easy to accidentally break something. Or hurt someone. 

Or worse. 

I'd thought I was used to those fears after spending a not insignificant time around humans on Aphiria. Now, though, they felt like they'd doubled. Or maybe tripled. 

“Mr. Parks! Welcome to Earth,” A soft voice from below pulled me from my rapidly spiralling thoughts. I focused on the source of the voice. A neatly groomed man, probably in his thirties, in an equally neatly pressed suit, stood on top of a tank below. I briefly wondered if I should read into the apparent militarization of the group in front of me, before deciding that was best left to consider at another time. 

“Uh, thank you. It's good to be here. And Easton's fine.” I said, making a conscious effort to speak softly. I hoped it was softly enough. The humans didn't flinch, so I took that as a good sign. 

“Easton, then. I'm John O'Riley, the IMA agent assigned to work with you. And likewise, John is fine.” John seemed fully comfortable and confident as he spoke, despite having to crane his neck up to look at me. I'd been told on Aphiria about the IMA - the Interdimensional Management Agency. They apparently oversaw and handled all matters relating to non human issues on Earth, not just interdimensional ones. It had been mentioned that I'd be working with an agent. Though “working with” was maybe the wrong term, since the impression I'd gotten was more that said agent would be supervising and managing me. 

“It's a pleasure to meet you,” I said politely. “And an honor to be here.” 

“Well, we're happy to have you.” John replied. Based on the nervous looks from the men surrounding him, I wasn't sure if that sentiment was shared. It was, for lack of a more elegant term, really weird to be the source of unease for what looked like a group of highly trained soldiers. Last name aside, I didn’t cut a particularly imposing figure back on Aphiria. I was a bit on the short side and far less outgoing than I would have liked, and combined, that meant that for the majority of my life, I had been the one being intimidated. Not being intimidating. I was anything but short compared to humans, of course, which I’d quickly learned upon first meeting the group of them I’d found stranded on Aphiria some time ago. Even still, being intimidating to a stranded group of then strangers and being intimidating to what looked like a very well prepared military were two different things. 

I wondered, not for the first time, if agreeing to work on Earth as part of a “diplomatic endeavor” was really a good idea. It was so much responsibility. Way more than even being a park ranger back home had been, which had already felt like a lot of responsibility. 

My sister really can talk anyone into anything, I thought. 

“So, I'm guessing you've noticed the entourage,” John said, gesturing to the men surrounding him. “It's just standard IMA policy to take precautions, not that we think there'll be any issues. I was told you were briefed on the ground rules put in place as part of this agreement?” 

He paused, waiting for my response. I nodded. “Yes, of course.” 

Said ground rules included things like absolutely no picking up humans, animals, or property without explicit permission. As well as some understandable but also anxiety inducing clauses like what would happen if I were to hurt any humans, accidental or otherwise. It would void the agreement, of course, which wasn't the anxiety inducing part. No, that was just the idea of accidentally hurting a human. An idea that felt way too possible looking down at the miniature army. 

I should have taken a second dose of anxiety medication, I thought, swallowing nervously. 

“Great! Great. So, there's a temporary IMA outpost nearby. We were thinking you could follow us there, and then we could go over more of what to expect for your job, including timeline, accomodations, and so on. For safety reasons, we'd prefer if you kept a decent distance behind our little group when walking. I'll let you know when to start following us, how does that sound?” 

I nodded quickly. “That sounds good to me.”  

John smiled again. He seemed entirely unphased by the fact that I was dozens of times his size, and I found it a little ironic that I seemed to be more anxious than him. Then again, he worked for The IMA, and from my understanding, their agency dealt with all manner of non human beings. So maybe he was just used to it. 

I, on the other hand, felt entirely out of my depth as I watched the group turn around and begin to move. 

“Alright, you can start following us! Just keep about this distance!” John called. 

Well, too late to change my mind now.

Next

[ultralightpoe]

Full House lll - Eddie Munson

Authors Note: Omg. Me? Staying on schedule? Never.

Word Count: 10112

Warnings: None? Idk.

Part One HERE and Part Two HERE

(Thank you for the gif @psychecreations )

Enjoy!

“When’s the first doctors appointment?” Nancy asks, walking up to where you were currently standing at your jobs wait station. You jump, dropping the order pad you had been scribbling in as you turn to find her leaning on the wall. 

“What? Why are you here?” 

“I was craving chicken and didn’t want to hear Steves kfc imitation. So we decided to come here.” She smiles, rubbing her stomach ever so slightly. “Plus it meant I got to check on you.” 

“Oh I’m fine.” You lie, forcing a smile on your face as she narrows her eyes. 

It’s been 4 days since the Christmas fiasco, and 4 days since you realized Eddie was leaving. You tried to pick yourself back up the day of Christmas but ended up telling everyone that you were really sick and should shut the party down early. They had all gone to Steves and you were truly embarrassed to think of what they might have been saying about you. 

God, did you have to ruin everything you touched? 

“You never answered my question.” 

“Oh? I was just sick. It’s not a serious bug or anything. I just didn’t want to get you guys sick on Christmas. That would have been bad” you lie again, feeling a coiling feeling in your gut. “Why don’t you go sit?” 

“Y/n, girl I love you. But you’re showing.” 

“Am not.” 

“Are too. Especially in this waitressing uniform.” It was true. Normally the old school 70s uniform fit you like a glove, falling just to your thighs and it made tips so much easier. Right now? It was on the tighter side…… which made tips even easier because your boobs looked great but you felt terrible about everything. 

“Does he know?” Nancy asks, and you have to stop yourself from telling her or shove off. After a moment of silence she seems to take that for an answer. “Y/n….. Eddie needs to know.” 

“Why? So I can trap someone else?” You laugh bitterly. “That poor guy has already put up with enough of my shit. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go grab tables.” 

You walk past her, not giving her a chance to argue as you completely avoid looking to their tables direction and move to your own section of the floor to greet a new table. 

Pam, one of your favorite regulars, sees you and greets you with a smile. “You never work Friday nights!” 

You always spent Friday nights with Eddie and the girls for movie night. But Eddie ran and you needed to make rent so tonight Max was watching them. 

“Starting now I will be. You want your usual babe?” 

“You know it!.” She giggles. 

-

Steve tried saying bye before they left and you pretended you didn’t see him as you took orders, by the end of the night your feet were killing you and you all but limped inside to where Max was sitting at the table doing college homework with her headphones on. 

Either she didn’t have them loud or she was on edge, your guess being a bit of both, she knows you're there and turns to you when you enter the kitchen. 

“Thank you so much Max.” You mumble, pulling out the tip money you had set aside for her. “I’m sorry I ran late.” 

“No need to pay.” She smiles, pushing the money away. “I like spending time with them.” 

That tight feeling in your stomach is back, digging in as you stare at the redhead. She had been part of the reason you chose Hawkins, Billy had (in one of his rare good moments) described the way Max seemed to blend in and find a home here. He told you about the friends she made and how she managed to grow into a brave person and you wanted that for your own. So, assuming she was gone, you moved out here. Little did you know you find her soon enough along with an entire group of people connected to your ex. 

You had always been told max was dead. 

Max had always been told Billy was dead. 

You didn’t know how she figured you out until Eddie told you about VECNA and Lucas told you about his girlfriends sight for things. 

“I…. I saw the tickets.” She admits, blush traveling her cheeks as you move to make a cup of tea. The cupboard was still broken and you couldn’t bear to look at it. 

“What tickets?” 

“You left your folder out on the table. I saw that you were figuring out where to go.” Max admits and you can’t help but tense. 

“I just….. I don’t want the girls being surrounded by…..” 

“Billy?” 

“Yes…..” you admit, still keeping your back to her as you boil water. “And Eddie. I just don’t want them knowing that he left them. They adore him too much.” 

Coward. Coward. COWARD. 

“I’m not a mom, but I can get your urge to protect them.” Max mumbles. “But what if they end up hating you for taking them away.” 

“Then they have someone to blame. I’d rather them blame me than themselves. It is my fault anyways.” You admit, tears springing into your eyes. “Anyways. Take the money, go have fun.” 

“Do you need me again this week? I saw that you work on New Year’s Eve.” 

“No. You should be going out with your friends.” 

“The boys have a start of the year campaign and El is taking a trip with Hopper. I’m free.” She laughs, trying to break the tension built up. “I’ll be here at 2.” 

You can’t get the words thank you out because of how tight your throat is, so you just mouth them as she grabs the money and passes. 

-

Steve could not stop laughing when he saw Eddie’s face the day he brought the car into the shop, leaning over on his knees to catch his breath as he wheezed out. 

Dylan, the other mechanic, kept looking over to watch the scene unfold as Eddie tried to focus on his friends car. 

“Harrington.” 

“Dude I know- it’s just that your face is so purp-hahaha.” Another fit of laughter and Eddie is debating throwing his drill at him. He was in no shape to be dealing with him today. 

Truth was Eddie had barely gotten a wink of sleep, he couldn’t manage to. Not used to not having you beside him, or not having the girls night light and soft lullabies. It had been 5 days since he saw you and he was beginning to lose his mind and resolve. 

Almost every night he nearly talked himself into going back, then he remembered Motleys broken cries as they carted him off and the way she clung to your hip. The way she screamed for her dad as Eddie attacked him. 

Monster monster monster. 

“Gotta give it to Hargrove. He knows how to punch.” 

“Yeah well, hope he had his fun.” Eddie snaps, leaning back to make sure he adjusted the part correctly. 

“Did you get him back?” 

“I got a few licks in.” Eddie mumbles, feeling guilty about the pride that washes over him as he remembers the way he beat Billy's face in. That was motleys dad. As much as he enjoyed hitting him he probably just scarred the Metalhead for life. 

“Oh a few licks.” Steve scoffs, moving to take a seat on the stool at Eddie’s workstation. “I know how strong you are Munson. You got more than a few licks in.” 

“I shouldn’t have.” 

“Why the hell not?” 

“Because Motley was right there! She’s gonna hate me forever.” Eddie scoffs. 

“Oh you mean more than they already do?” This pulls Eddie’s attention, he had been doing so good about not asking but he was dying to know. What had they said? Were they happy he’s gone? Mad that he fought Billy? 

“What’d they say?” 

“Not much of anything. Nancy knows something is up but your girl is keeping her lips sealed pretty well. I didn’t even know about your fight with jackass until I saw your face.” 

“But you said they were mad.” 

“Yeah man, you missed Christmas and just dipped. Leaves a bad impression.” 

“Oh whatever. They are better off, I just ruin everything.” 

“Oh. My. God.” Steve gasps, looking at Eddie like he’s figured everything out. “You’re self sabotaging!” 

“What?!”

“Yeah! You think you’re the bad guy and so you’re trying to run away which is just making you even more of a bad guy which means my wife can stop threatening to shave your head.” 

“I….. no man you don’t get it.” 

“I do get it. I get it more than anyone else and let me be the first to tell you that you’re being a massive idiot.” He sighs, standing up. “Motley was waiting by that window to spot you that entire day.” 

“S……she was?” 

“Yeah Munson. She was.” 

“I just….. I don’t want to be the one holding them back. I don’t want her to hate me.” 

“Did you ever think that maybe Motley chose you? Like you chose Wayne?” Steve asks, watching Eddie deflate before his eyes before turning to the car. “I’m not paying by the way. Consider my advice enough.” 

“Ass.” 

- 

Eddie spends the day of New Year’s Eve by the phone, fighting the urge to call. 

What would he say? How would he explain? 

No. Don’t call. This is for the better. 

Yes. Call. Just pick the phone just for the chance to hear your voice. 

God damn when did life get so complicated?

“What are you doing?” Wayne asks, watching eddie from his spot on the couch. “Quit wearing down my carpet.” 

The carpet has been worn down since Eddie had moved in, but he chooses not to comment instead he sits by the phone, keeping his pinky on the handle of the plastic and glaring at it. 

“You expecting a call?” 

“No.” Eddie groans, rubbing his chest to try and relieve some of the pain built up. God he missed you guys. “Fuck. I’m gonna go smoke.” 

He rushes to the back porch before Wayne could argue, hearing the old man laugh as he slams the door. 

There is a dog out there when he exits, chewing on a stick found from the trees and sitting right by the fence. Upon looking a little closer he sees that the dog actually seems caught under the fence, like he was trying to sneak in. 

“Jesus.” He murmurs, keeping the joint between his lips as he walks up, socked feet stepping on sticks and stones making him grunt out and try walking on his tippy toes. 

He looks back with a smile, expecting a giggle from one of the girls at his weird walk before he realizes he’s alone. Shit. 

The dog is panting patiently when Eddie comes up, and the man reaches a hand to let him sniff before moving to help. The dog chooses to kiss at his arm, tongue lapping at the skin as Eddie lifts the fence to try and help free him. 

“Why you sneaking in pal?” He grunts, bending the fence. “You hungry?” 

Within moments the dog is out, jumping up and kissing at his face for being rescued. “God. Motley would love you.” 

-

“Shhhhh Ziggy.” Motley whispers to her baby sister, pulling her closer to the corner. The way daddy eddie set up her room was perfect. 

He had put her bed in the center which left a small corner by her nightstand hidden from the door. 

Over the past week she had looked for Daddy Eddie’s number, finding it sprawled under the label emergency numbers where he had written it under Wayne. 

It was so weird that Daddy Eddie called his dad Uncle Wayne. Adults were so confusing. 

Before you had left for your shift that night you made sure to wish Motley a happy new year and made her promise to behave. Little did you know that she had crossed her fingers behind her back. 

The second you were gone she dashed to grab the closest phone, pulling it into her room and hiding it as Max struggled to cook nuggets for dinner. 

Later that night when Auntie Max was reading on the couch Motley tiptoed to Ziggys room before sneaking her sister out of her crib and tip toeing back as Ziggy giggles happily. 

“Sissy…” She giggles, pulling at Motleys cheeks happily. “Zigsy.” 

“No your Ziggy silly. I’m motley.” She corrects as she shuffles with her sister in an awkward half hold half walk carry until they are in the corner. “Okay Ziggy. Sissy needs your help. You remember the plan?” 

“Zigzy!” 

“Oh boy…..”

-

The phone rings late, and Eddie sits up in the couch to lean his upper body to answer it, stressed and annoyed. 

The stray dog lifts their head, huffing at being woken up and tilting to hear, one ear shooting up. “Easy Zeppelin.” 

The dog barks, and Eddie likes to think he enjoyed the name as he picks the phone up. “Munson residence.” 

God it felt weird saying that again.

“DADDY!” Motley whispers, sounding scared. Eddie is instantly up, standing on his feet and swiping at his face to wake up a little more. 

“Motley? What’s wrong baby?”

“Someone’s trying to get in daddy.” 

“Get in where? Where are you?” He’s already reaching for his keys, heart beating through his ears as his hands shake. 

“We’re at home.” She whines. 

“Where’s mommy?” 

“At work!” Fuck. “Okay. Okay. Just hide. Just like daddy told you, remember? If anything happens, hide. You know where Ziggy is?” 

“She’s with me.” 

“Good girl. Get under your bed or in your closet. I’ll be right there.” He mumbles, calling out to Wayne to grab the phone before booking it out of the trailer. 

He gives no time for the van to warm up, tearing out of the trailer park so quickly he’s sure he hit someone’s patio chair, mumbling under his breath a panicked “fuckfuckfuck” 

-

The van is uneven as Eddie pulls in quickly, shifting gears to park so hard it makes a grinding sound before he is swinging the door open and tearing out. His feet hit the gravel before the grass as he rushes to the front door, using his shoulder to shove it open harshly. 

A scream tears out in to the air at his entrance before a book is thrown at him which makes him yell out at whoever is in the house. 

“EDDIE?!” 

“MAXINE?!” He snaps, blinking at her. “What the fuck you doing?” 

“What am I doing?! What are you doing?! You physco!”

“Motley said that someone was trying to break in!” 

“I put Motley to bed an hour ago.” Max grunts, confusion lacing her features. 

“You’re babysitting?” 

“Obviously.” 

“But her car is in the front.”  Eddie felt like he was going crazy. “And since when does she work nights?!” 

“Her car wouldn’t start so she took the bus today.” Max sighs, rolling her eyes. “And she needs extra cash. Probably for the plane tickets to get out of here.”

“Tickets out of….” Before Eddie can process her words any further there is a small pair of eyes looking around the corner drawing his attention. 

Ziggy moves quickly, coming around the corner with a very excited giggle, walking to him as fast as her little feet would allow. “Da-Ed-ay!”

“Hey there baby girl.” He smiles, picking her up and swooping her into his arms to kiss all over her face. It was odd, just how much he missed this and it seemed like she had gotten so much bigger in the 4 days he missed. 

“I swear to god I put her to bed. How did she get out of her crib?!” Max glares, right as the culprit behind it all comes rushing out to run at Eddie. 

“I knew you’d come! I knew it daddy!” She giggles, running at him and throwing her arms around him tightly. “You came back!” 

“Motley?” He starts, brain beginning to process what she was saying. “Did you…. Lie to get me here?” 

“I did!” She smiles, peering up at him with big doe eyes. “I lied daddy! And now you’re here and you can take all my Barbie’s!” 

“If you know lying is bad and you’ll get punished, why did you do it?” He asks, pulling her off before squatting to her level. “Metal head, that was very dangerous-“ 

A gust of air leaves him as her arms wrap around his neck tightly, tears springing from her eyes. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.” 

“Motley I’m not mad, that was just dangerous and it scare-“ 

“No! About Billy. I’m sorry daddy.” His heart plummets, his brain racking to figure out what she was talking about. Why was she sorry? 

“No. No I’m sorry.” He sighs, turning to see Max staring at them intently. “Hey max. Think you can take Ziggy for a moment?” 

“Sure thing mop head.” The redhead scoops Ziggy up causing the young toddler to scream and kick, reaching chubby fingers out for Eddie. As much as he wanted to take her back he had to focus on Motley. 

“Come sit.” He nods his head, leading her to the kitchen table sitting in the chair beside hers and angling it so they were facing. “Listen….. Daddy ha- Well I have been feeling really bad about Christmas Eve. I never meant to do that, or to attack your dad in front of you.” 

“But-“ 

“I owe you a big apology for that Motley. And I don’t know what you’re feeling sorry about, pretty girl, but it’s not your fault and you have no reason to be sorry.” He murmurs, swiping the tears that fall from her cheek. “You have done nothing wrong.” 

“I told Billy he couldn’t come for Christmas Daddy!” She blurts, her tears hit against his thumb as he keeps swiping her cheek. “I’m sorry!” 

“No no no. You don’t be sorry.” He moves to pick her up, sitting her on his lap with her face pressed into his chest as he rubs his palm over her hair to try and soothe her. “Let’s just take a deep breath, okay? Then you can tell me what happened.” 

There’s something coiling in his gut at her tears. Pain, anger, sadness. He truly could not tell, but he kept her close and rocked her back and forth to let her cry. When she finally calmed down enough to talk she started telling him. 

“He was really mean daddy. And he kept t-telling me that y-you we’re gonna replace me-“ her body racks with sobs again. “He said you didn’t want me. A-and I was upset! But he w-was mean to you-“ 

“Easy.” He whispers, wiping her cheek once more. “You gotta breathe pretty girl.” 

“He was m-mean. Said mean things about you daddy and mean things ab- I’m sorry! I-“ her sobbing gets worse and Eddie shushes her, choosing to rock her back and forth and keep her in his tight embrace. “And you w-were ma-you were madatme.” 

“No no. I was never mad.” He sighs. “Daddy was never mad at you.” 

“You were.” 

“No, I was just scared. I…. Daddy didn’t want you hating him.” Eddie explains. “I just wanted to give you space. Having 2 dads is confusing. I didn’t want to make it worse.” 

“He hit you.” 

“Did he ever hit you motley?” Eddie asks sternly, squeezing her a bit in comfort. 

“He spanked me.” That feeling in his stomach settled on rage. 

“That’s not fair. And you shouldn’t have had to go through that.” 

“Please don’t leave again.”  As much as he wanted to promise her that he wouldn't, that wasn’t a promise he could make. You probably hated him, and he would have to talk this out with you first. 

“Let’s get you to bed yeah? Daddy will tuck you in.” 

“I want mama.” 

“Well she’s at work.” He mumbles against her hair. 

“Can we go get milkshakes?” 

“I don’t know…..” it was almost 10. Then again it was New Year’s Eve and he didn’t want you taking the bus home so this would give him an excuse to go pick you up. “Only if they have chocolate.” 

“You already know they have chocolate!” She giggles, and he can’t stop the way his heart seems to light up. 

-

It was a busy night, and the smell of the jalapeno nachos all your tables were ordering was making you nauseated and angry. You wanted to throw up, maybe cry, maybe throw up then cry. 

Apparently a town next to Hawkins lost power so a bunch of people were driving to this place to have a good new years which meant you were going to be stuck here forever. You found yourself stressing about the bus’ schedule as you dashed to run food. 

This is what you had been doing when you spotted him. Running a tray of jalapeño nachos to your table, keeping it a safe distance from your nose as you thought about the fact that you might have to walk, and there he was. 

Standing in the doorway, leather jacket and wide eyes, as you caught him looking for you. And he was holding Ziggy. 

What the fuck Maxine?! 

“Y/n get a move on!” Your manager calls and you snap out of it, moving to deliver the tray as the host seats Eddie. 

You hear Motley call out “mommy!” And instantly knew that they would now be sat in your section. Did it make you a bad mother if you admitted you would rather die than face him tonight? 

“Mama!” Your daughter calls, making you look over as she slides in, Eddie sitting right next to her and then you are forced to confront this. You should have learned about birth control. Better yet maybe you should have practiced the art of condoms more.  

Thinking of all the ways you could have prevented this situation as you gaze at your daughters adorable smiling face. God she was beautiful….. still should have used a condom. 

“What a surprise. I could have sworn I left you guys with Max.” You try to smile, avoiding looking at Eddie as Ziggy reaches for you. You grab her gently, bouncing her on your hip and she starts playing with your hair clip. 

“I got daddy!” Motley admits proudly, pointing to Eddie which makes you look at him. Your heart thumping against your chest, adrenaline rushing through you as he stares at you with those god damn brown eyes. 

“Munson.” You greet, turning back to Motley. “Girls, stay in the booth for a moment. Okay? I’m gonna talk to him outside.” 

You walk off after that, leaving Eddie no choice but to follow as he jumps up and runs to catch up. The winter hair hits you, and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself to keep some of the warmth, the crappy waitress outfit doing nothing for you. 

The second you hear your name fall from his lips you whirl, slapping him in the chest to push him back. “What the fuck is the matter with you munson?!” 

“I…. Give me a moment to explain, please.” 

“Explain?! EXPLAIN?!” A bitter laugh splits from your lips. “Look. I get it. My life was a bit too messy and fucked up, I’d run too. But you bringing the girls here is just making it worse. You’re going to get their hopes and it’s gonna crush them.” 

“Too messy? Who said anything about it being too messy?” 

“WHY ELSE WOULD YOU RUN?!” Your voice raises louder than you thought it would, but you don’t back down. “And I don’t appreciate you talking to my daughters without me. Now I gotta tell them-“ 

The words ‘my daughters’ sound wrong, and you can’t fight the disgust that coats you as you trail off, eyes widening as he stares back at you with a set jaw. “I just mean….. I get why you left okay? My life is chaos and you were really nice for staying and pretending like it was fine. But those girls…. They can’t know you left cause of that. I was hoping, as shitty as it sounds, that after a couple years they’d forget. Y’know?” 

You are swiping at your cheeks as tears stream down your face, trying not to look at him. You catch him moving up, his hands outstretched, but you move backwards so he can’t grab you. “Eds. Y-you should just go. Okay? It’ll be fine.” 

“No it won’t-“ 

“It will. I’ll be fine. I won’t be mad-“ then his arms are around you, pulling you in quickly as he shoves your head into his chest and you get to inhale his scent once more. Doing your best not to outright sob. 

“I was the mess.” He blurts. “I was scared, okay? I was scared that Billy was gonna turn everyone against me, and I was scared that I ruined Motleys Christmas.” 

You scoff, trying to pull away, not really believing the excuse. Before you can fully move he wraps an arm around your waist, his other hand moving to your jaw to drag your eyes up to his own. “I was scared. I was a coward.” 

“But-“ 

“No buts. I didn’t leave cause I thought you were a mess, baby I think you’re perfect and your daughters are so fucking precious to me. I…. You really thought I was running cause I couldn’t handle it?” 

“I just-“ 

“Y/n!” Your boss calls from the door, looking exasperated. “You gettin sick again? Need to go? Or you wanna get paid so you can afford maternity leave?” 

You tense again under Eddie’s touch, stomach curling as you try and take a step back while Eddie’s brows knit in confusion before he turns to glare at your boss. “She’s sick.” 

“Fine. Take her home. Just have to transfer tables.” The man snaps, turning to walk back in before Eddie is whirling on you. 

“Am I crazy or did he just say maternity leave?” 

“Eddie….” You sigh, feeling saliva build up as you panic. He watches you, taking a step back just as you lean forward to puke. 

- 

The car ride is silent. Not the serene kind of quiet and more so the anxiety inducing type. 

You had no clue what to say to him at this point. Suddenly everything just seemed to….. silly. You’re reaction and his reaction. You should have just called. Why hadn’t you called? 

No, he should have called. 

You were being a decent person and giving him space and “mama?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?” 

“Ya!” Ziggy yells, making Eddie chuckle under his breath as he leans to turn the heater in the car up. It had been forever since you had ridden in this van, since he deemed it unacceptable to drive the girls around in since it lacked seatbelts or a backseat. Even now everytime he braked he means a hand out to block the girls even with Ziggy in your lap. 

“I don’t know…” 

“Please! Please please.” 

“We will talk about it when we get home.” 

Only there was no talking about it, the second you got home with the girls Motley ran to throw away her to go milkshake cup then dashed to your bed quickly which turned into a screaming fit when you tried to tell her no. 

The word condom just kept circling your mind as you finally just told her to lay down, she did so and Ziggy soon made her appearance to crawl onto the bed. 

Eddie takes off his shoes. Moving to lay with the girls as you turn off one of the lights so the room was dark enough for them to fall asleep, and then you shuffle to the bathroom to shower before bed so you didn’t smell like grease and beer. 

It wasn’t even 10 minutes before you heard the door open and shut softly, you turn already knowing he is heading for the shower and watch as the curtain opens lightly. 

Normally he would jump right in like he belonged there which would make you laugh, tonight he had a questioning gaze, trying not to over step. You give him a small nod and then the curtain is pushed aside and he dives in, still in his shirt and jeans. 

“Edward-“ you warn before his lips are on yours in a searing kiss. He keeps one hand on your jaw to keep your lips connected as his other wraps around your back to keep you close as the water runs over both of you getting his clothes soaked. By the time you pull back he’s already working his way down your neck with kisses as you earn him again “clothes.” 

The hand holding your jaw moves to cover your mouth quickly as he peers at you, giving you a fake angry expression that has you laughing. “Do not wake our kids.” He whispers before stepping back to undress. 

The jeans take a moment to shuck off since they were wet but the second he is free Eddie dives for you again, showing up just how much he missed you. 

-

You sit with him on the floor of the kitchen by the fridge, using the light above the oven as your only source of light while you both snack, keeping cuddled together in nothing but your robes. 

Nothing has been said yet, and you were just fine with that, exhausted and happy that he was there. But he has to ruin it, of course he does. 

“I’m still sorry.” He murmurs, scraping the cream of one side of an Oreo using the empty side. 

“I am too. I think we’re both incredibly stupid right now.” 

“You’re telling me.” He blushes. “I just…. There was a time in my life when I hated Uncle Wayne. I had this image in my mind that he was trying to tear me away from my dad. Fuck I just wanted to be with my dad, I looked up to him whether he beat me or not and- the way I treated Wayne and the way I hated him….. my dad didn’t help, everytime I went back with him my mom and I just ended right back up at Wayne’s with more bruises than last time. And when she passed I was the only one there to inflict it. Wayne for him arrested and I swore my world was ending, swore I would never talk to Wayne again.” 

“You thought that was what was going on with Motley? That she felt like you were tearing her and her dad apart?” 

“Yes and no. I just was trying to prevent that from happening, I didn’t want her to have to experience that choice.” He whispers, picking at the robe. “I just wanted to protect her.” 

“She wanted to protect you too.” You whisper back. “That’s love.” 

“Billy told her that…. That I was gonna try and replace her.” He gulps, and you stop smiling instantly. “And now that you’re pregnant, and as happy as I am because I am so happy, I need to make sure she knows that I’m not trying to replace her.” 

“We’ll make it work.” You mumble, laying your head on his shoulder. “We always do” 

He hums out, laying his head on top of yours and sitting in the silence for a moment before you break it once more. “Where are your rings?” 

“Haven’t worn them since I got arrested.” He answers, holding up his bare hands. “My fingers were too bruised and swollen at first, then I just couldn’t care to put them on.” 

“Eddie?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Let’s go to bed..” 

“Give me five more minutes.” He whispers, turning his head to kiss your own, keeping his nose pressed into your hair. 

“Why?”

“I just…. I just want to be near you for a little longer.” 

- 

The sun peaks through the curtains, hitting Eddie right in the face which in return makes him groan out, moving the pillow around to try and block it. I’m his attempt to move Ziggy wiggles around, giving a displeased noise that her dad woke her up from sleeping before moving to lay right on his chest. 

Motley does not move an inch, mouth wide open and eyes sealed shut, Eddie has to reach a hand out to poke her and make sure she’s not dead. 

She wrinkles her nose, moving closer and shoving her face in your pillow, staying peacefully asleep. 

You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, and he can only blink at you trying to straighten his eyesight as he watches you zip up your work boots. (For some reason I imagine go go boots with the 70s look. I don’t know guys. I….. I have no clue). 

“You going to work?” He blurts, making you jump. 

“Sorry, yeah. Max will be here soon to watch the girls. We agreed on it last night before I left.” You mumble, moving to grab your apron. 

“I can watch em….” He whispers, staring at you. The way the sun from the window hits you makes you look angelic. 

“Okay.” You smile, moving to kiss Motley and Ziggys heads before you move to walk away. Fully offended Eddie snatches your hand and draws you back, annoyed at the shit eating grin on your face. 

“Baby,” he whines making you let out a small laugh and lean down to kiss his lips before rushing to leave. 

He lays with the girls for a little longer making sure the blanket is covering all three of them before the day truly has to start and he forces himself to get up. Setting Ziggy down without waking her up was a difficult task but he managed, shuffling to the bathroom to change into todays clothes, thankful that he no longer has to wear all the shit clothes he left at Wayne’s when he originally moved out. 

Upon exiting the bathroom he nearly trips over Motley, who had been sitting in front of the door. “What are you doing Metalhead?” 

“You took forever…” she whines, wrapping herself around his calf which makes him smile. “I wanna stay with you.” 

“Okay,” he answers, moving down to peel her off his leg and letting her climb up for a piggy back. “You’re gonna help me make breakfast then.” 

“Waffles?” 

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” He smirks, walking down the hall as the front door opens to reveal Max. 

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” She rushes out, face red from running. “I woke up a little late and-“ 

“It’s no problem. I’m here if you had other things to do.” Eddie offers. “Or you can stay and have some breakfast?” 

“Sounds great. I’m kinda ignoring the rest of the group right now.” She explains, setting her bag down and following them into the kitchen. Eddie gets Max set up at the table, trying to set Motley with her but the girl wiggles and whines so he allows her to stay. 

He listens to Max rant about the group as he moves around to make waffles, enjoying the easy feeling he gets being here. God why did he ever leave home? 

“-And Lucas is just always set out to fight Erica. You’d think he had a crush on Dustin and wanted to date him. You know? I get it, your baby sister starts dating your closest friend. A little weird. But get over it!” 

“I think Uncle Dustin and Auntie Erica are so cute!” Motley adds which makes Eddie chuckle a bit. 

“Lucas is upset because he always thought they were in agreement that Erica was annoying.” He explains, bending down to set Motley down and bring the food to the table. “But it’s been months. Time to move on.” 

“Exactly!” Max sighs right as Ziggy comes pounding in with an angry look.

“Alone….” She whines and Eddie smiles at her. “Aweee did you wake up alone? My poor little baby.” He coos, picking her up and bringing her close to kiss before setting her on his lap to help her eat. He already knew she would not be into the high chair based on the way even Motley was clinging to him. 

Even now, as she used a spoon to shove waffles in her mouth, she kept a hand on his own arm to keep him close. 

“I’m gonna work on mamas car today.” He explains. “I’ll be right outside. So maybe you girls can stay in here and keep Max company.” 

“I wanna stay with you.” Motley whines, giving him puppy dog eyes. 

“No it’s too cold. You stay in here. Okay?” And then Eddie gave her his puppy dog eyes. Oh yeah, can’t beat dads game. 

She groans and looks at Max who smiles in return. “I’ve been practicing my barbie voices just for you.” 

“Fine! But barbie is married to G.I. Joe! Ken is the villain. We’re not arguing about it again.” 

“But isn’t it Barbie and Ken? Wouldn’t Joe be the villain?” 

“Maxine.” Motley warns, slamming her tiny hand on the table. 

“Fine. Got it.” 

-

It didn’t last long. 

Eddie had put on his mechanic suit, trying to keep warm as he took a look at what was going on with your car. 15 minutes in Motley came out wearing her snowsuit and smiling. “Look daddy! I can help!” 

“I thought I said to stay inside-“ a laugh breaks out when she takes off the hood of the snow suit to reveal that she tied a bandana over her head like a hat. “That’s not how you tie it. Come here.” 

He helps her tie it like his, telling her to sit a little closer to the grass as he keeps working, making sure the radio is on a station she would like as he does so. 

By the time you get home she is making snow angels in the snow of the lawn as he curses under his breath. 

“What’s going on?” You ask, making him jump and hit his head on the hood of your car. “Oh! I’m so sorr-“ 

“It’s good. I’m good.” He laughs, letting you fuss over him anyways. He takes his chance to kiss at you before you are pulling back. 

“You are covered in car nastiness-“ 

“You mean grease and oil?” He laughs, keeping you trapped in his arms to rub his cheek on your shoulder. You yell out playfully, still trying to escape as he does so. 

“Does this mean you guys are good?” Steve appears, dustin behind him. “Are you done being mad at me Y/n?”

“I was never mad at you!” Eddie keeps his arms around you as you turn to look at Steve, making sure Motley is good. 

“Yes you were. I waved at you the other night and you completely ignored me.” 

“I didn’t see you wave.” You reply and Eddie can’t help but laugh. 

“I called your name!”

“It was a busy restaurant, how am I supposed to hear everything.” You scoff, pulling from Eddie’s arms and flipping your hair. “Come on Motley. Let’s go inside.” 

“Just admit you saw me wave!” Steve groans, following you to the door before Motley turns to shove him and close the door in his face. “Rude!” 

“Steve, did you just get beat up by a kid?” Dustin laughs. 

“It’s Eddie’s kid. Does that count?” 

“My kids are great!” 

- 

Things took a moment to get back to normal, but that was to be expected. 

Eddie found the folder of all your research on places to go, running his fingers over the math you sprawled across the pages to figure out how you would afford it, he promptly threw it in the trash bins outside. 

Motley stayed glued to Eddie as much as she could, and in the mornings when he had to get up for work she made sure to wake him up and give him a kiss by the door making sure that he swore to come back before she would dash down the hall and lay with you. 

Makeup Christmas happened, except it was only Wayne that was invited and instead of a whole feast you guys ordered a crap ton of Chinese food. 

Wayne came over early, sneaking around the back and coming in through the back door which confused the girls to no end but they were excited to see their grandpa. 

Ziggy also proved that she learned 2 more words by saying “shit grandpa!” All excited and reaching her hands up for him to grab her. 

He howls with laughter, scooping her up and throwing her in the air as she screams in excitement. 

Everyone sits around the tree opening gifts, Wayne on the couch with Ziggy on his lap helping her open the gifts. Eddie sat by the tree, passing them out with Motley right by him and you next to her. 

He pulls out an envelope that has his name sprawled on it and looks at you. 

“I had a plan for Christmas. But I kind of had to redo it. I planned on giving you the stick, but figured since you already know I’d get the ultrasound.” Yoh blush, watching his excitedly tear it open. 

It’s quiet for a moment as everyone watches him admire the photo, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Anything you notice?” You ask, waiting. 

“What do you mean?” He asks, before Wayne snaps his fingers and grabs the photo gently. 

“There’s two.” Wayne grunts before his eyes light up. “You’re having twins!” 

“Obviously….” Eddie mumbles, “we already knew that?” 

“What?” 

“The stick? It had two blue lines? So that means we’re having twin boys? Right?” Eddie mumbles, staring at you like your crazy. 

It’s quiet for a moment as you and Wayne process what he said before you burst into laughter, the girls following even though they had no clue what was going on. 

“Not even close boy!” Wayne cackles as you have to wipe some of the tears from your eyes. 

“Does that mean you’re pregnant mommy?” Motley asks, turning to look at you with wide eyes. Your heart stops, going back to what Eddie had told you. 

“Yes. Mommy is pregnant .” You wait to see her reaction and Eddie finds himself reaching for the gift he had added two days ago. “Motty. I have something for you.” 

He snatches the tiny box, holding it out to her. “It’s a really important gift though. Okay?” 

She nods slowly, taking the box from him and opening it just as slow. Inside held a simple chain necklace, but when she pulled it out it revealed that he had hung his mothers ring on it, the one he normally wore on his right hand by itself. “I was told to give this ring to someone very special. It’s from my own mom.” 

She gasps, turning to him. “You’re giving it to me?!” 

“Well yeah! You’re my oldest kid. My firstborn.” He laughs, moving to help her put it on. Then he snatches another box and hands it to her. “This one is for both you and your sister.” 

She reaches for it and opens it gently, pulling out a heavy chain that has a dog tag connected to it. “Another necklace?” 

“Well…..” Wayne laughs, flipping it to reveal what the dog tag says. 

“Who is Zeppeplin?” 

“Zeppelin, baby.” You correct, already standing up. 

“Who is Zeppelin?” She giggles, which makes Eddie laugh, picking her up by her armpits to make her stand as you go and open the back door. 

The dog, a young little puppy at most, snaps his head to the noise and wags it’s tail excitedly upon seeing you. 

“Come in!” You smile and he bolts from his spot tearing up sticks to get inside. Once he hits the threshold of the house he is everywhere. Sniffing the fridge to the chairs, jumping on his hind legs to clean up the high chair where Ziggy left her banana. After inhaling that he bolts to explore more, completely missing the living room as he bolts down the hall to sniff all the rooms. 

Once Motley sees the flash of fur she screams in excitement, which draws the puppy back and they both just feed off each others excitement. 

She’s jumping up and down, screaming in excitement and the dog starts howling to match her while his butt starts wiggling at how hard he is wagging his tail. 

“I am so excited for Chinese later.” Wayne murmurs, coming to hug you as Eddie tries to calm both the noisemakers down. “Thank you for inviting me.” 

“Of course, you’re grandpa.” You smile, watching Ziggy from his arms just stare intently at the scene before her. “She can’t tell whether to be excited or scared.” 

Wayne laughs, pointing to the dog and trying to help Ziggy see him. 

Later that evening everyone sits around the table, Max with you all, as you pile Chinese food onto the plates. Motley keeps showing Max the necklace she got while Wayne keeps bragging to Eddie about his new Jean jacket. 

Zeppelin chooses to sit by Ziggy, and it’s very clear that the dog has already figured out who will drop the most food. Ziggy giggles every time she drops a piece of broccoli and he catches it. 

“Now we’re gonna have to watch her every time we give her veggies.” Eddie groans. “She’s got an accomplice!” 

“Zeppy and Ziggy!” Motley cheers like their superheroes. 

- 

February rolls around soon enough, and your daughters biggest catastrophe had nothing to do with the restraining order on Billy, or her dads new bike (which she was terrified of). No. Motleys world was ending over valentines cards. 

Eddie had helped her pick them out, little heart shaped cards that you could stick lollipops in, and had sat with her to write in them as you took Ziggy in for a haircut. 

The only one that Motley had not written a card for was Troy, and now the morning of Valentine’s Day she was still panicking. 

“I can’t write love cause then he will want to get married!” She explains and Eddie nods like it’s super serious. “And I can’t write like, because then he will know I have a crush on him!” 

“Glad you can admit it.” He nods and she rolls her eyes. “Here’s an idea! Okay, you ready metal head?” 

“Ready daddy!” 

“You can write ‘from Motley’.” He laughs, watching her face go serious. 

“That’s what I wrote on the others!” 

“Exactly.” He watches as she thinks about it before nodding quickly and writing it down, tossing it in her valentines box and dashing to grab her backpack. 

“She finally figure out Troys?” You ask, shuffling Ziggy in. “It’s been days.” 

“She did. We decided on writing ‘from motley’.” He smiles, leaning forward to kiss you before leaning down to kiss your stomach then Ziggy. 

“Stevie….” Ziggy giggles, running to the phone. It didn’t take long to figure out that she would be the one to run the phone bill up, even now she spent every morning learning to dial her uncle Steve’s number. She dialed Dustin once but deemed him “poopoo head.” 

“Nuh uh. Come eat pretty girl.” Eddie calls, pointing to her chair. “Zeppelin is waiting.” 

The dog, who just a month ago had been tiny enough to lay under her chair, now sat at full height beside it. Still a puppy, just bigger.  

Ziggy runs, her little pigtails bouncing as Eddie picks her up by the overalls to sit her in the chair. Now trained Ziggy eats his dog food beside her rather than everything she drops, and if somehow someway some of her waffle drops in his bowl then it can’t really be considered his fault. 

“Motley, hurry up baby.” You call. “We gotta go.” 

“You good to pick Wayne up?” Eddie asks, moving to grab his lunch. 

“Yes. I’ll drop Motley off at school and go and grab him.” Wayne had injured his hip, so today you’ll be taking him to the doctors to see what the plan was while Eddie went to work. 

“Okay. And Ziggy is still good to-?” 

“Ziggy and Zeppelin are going to Nancy’s, yes.” You smile. Nancy had just given birth to her third boy, and she liked having Ziggy over because she liked having another girl in the house. 

“Okay. Tell me how it goes?” He asks, leaning to give you one more goodbye kiss as you nod before moving to say bye to Motley. “BYE BEAUTIFUL LADIES!” 

The day had started off so well, you should have known it would only go downhill from there. 

Wayne sat in the passenger seat of your car, irritated and ranting about shitty doctors. “I’m not doing it. You hear me? Just give me some Tylenol and I’ll be fine.” 

“MOMMY!” Ziggy screams, from her spot on her car seat. 

The doctor had told Wayne he needed hip surgery and could not work, which meant that Wayne was pissed and you were panicking about what to do. He couldn’t work which meant he wouldn’t be able to make rent and he would need some help to move around. Then when you got to Steve and Nancy’s she had told you that Ziggy had taken quite a stumble off the table and scratched her chin on the corner of the table. 

It was a mess. 

Both of them were not having a good day and Zeppelin was howling at their ranting and screaming and as much as you loved them you truly debated crashing the car. 

Then you got home to yelling. 

Eddie stood in the living room, still in his work attire with his hands on his hips and his eyes wide. “You’re in rare fucking form today, you know that?!” 

The response to his question is met with a demonic scream from down the hall and you can only assume that Motley was having a bad time as well. 

“I’m not getting a surgery, you hear me Edward?” Wayne snaps, limping to the couch. 

“What the fuck are you on now?” He snaps back, looking at him annoyed as Ziggy rushes past crying. “What the fuck is going on?” 

“It’s apparently a meltdown day.” You sigh, moving to kiss his cheek and go into the kitchen to make a snack for yourself. 

Todays pregnancy craving was potato chips with lime juice and pickles, Eddie watches from the entrance of the kitchen with a smile as you settle at the table and enjoy your snack. 

He moves and takes the seat next to you, following your lead on snacks. 

“Why is Metalhead in ‘rare fucking form’ today?” You giggle, watching his face pinch in annoyance. 

“I pick her up and she gets in the car, right? And then she just starts screaming at me! And I mean screaming. The entire ride home! And from what I gather Vinny didn’t give her a valentines card.” He explains. “God. She was yelling like she was possessed. Then I tried explaining that maybe it was lost and that made it worse.” 

“Did she get one from Troy?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think she cares either.” He sighs, rubbing his jaw. 

“Okay, we let her ride out the fit in her room. We’ll call Steve later to see what happened.” 

“Sounds great to me.” He smiles. “She scared me a little. Threatened to cut her hair and everything. Then threatened to cut MY hair.” 

A small laugh tears from you as he steals the potato chip in your hand before looking to Wayne’s direction. “They recommend surgery?” 

“It wasn’t a recommendation.” You sigh, grabbing his hand and tracing the tattoo. “I think we need to move the house around.” 

“What?” 

“If Wayne gets surgery he needs to be here. I’ll cut back shifts at the diner and help him out.” You start. “He won’t be able to use the stairs so maybe we can move our room downstairs which would give more room for the twins cribs in our room, but Ziggy has problems with the stairs and she likes coming in to sleep with us cause of the nightmares but-“ 

“Easy. Easy.” Eddie mumbles, turning his hand up quickly to snatch your hand and pull it to his lips. “We’ll figure it out.” 

- 

And so you did. 

Eddie moved the house around, and turned the basement into a bedroom for you guys. Now with more room and your own bathroom down here he could set up the cribs. 

Wayne took your old room, and though the man threw a fit the girls got excited that Grandpa Wayne would be living here now. 

He got the surgery in the beginning of March, and Motley and Vinny were still fighting. 

You spent your days helping Wayne, taking him to pt and helping him move around the house. 

Motley and Vinny got put into separate classes which lead to a whole argument between Steve and Eddie about whose kid was the one to blame. 

Life was a bit of a mess. 

It all came to head at the children's father dance. 

Eddie had dressed in a tux, making sure he looked good as you got Motley ready for the night. With Wayne napping on the couch with Ziggy asleep on his chest drooling (a daily nap these two took) Zeppelin follows at your feet, keeping close to you as you did Motley's hair. 

“How do I look?” Eddie asks from the door of the bathroom. “I have a date tonight and I’m really nervous.”

“Daddy!” Motley giggles, rushing to him in her puffy little skirt, hugging him tightly. 

“Alright you two. Let me get a picture.” You smile, rushing past to find where the camera had gone. By the time you got a picture of them Motley was rushing Eddie out, ready for the dance. 

He struggles to find parking, and ends up finding one right next to Steve’s car, rolling his eyes when he sees Harrington fixing his jacket while Vinny reads in the car. 

“Harrington.” He greets coldly, fixing his leather jacket and moving to open the door for his daughter. 

“Munson.” Steve matches the tone, scoffing at Eddie’s jacket. “Little Munson.” 

“Uncle Steve.” She huffs, fixing her hair. 

“Really? A leather jacket Edward?” 

“You look like you stepped off a Queen music video, Steven.” Eddie snaps, holding out his hand for Motley. Fighting or not they wait at the front of the car for Steve and Vinny. Walking into the dance together. 

“I’m surprised that they even let you in here. Your child is a danger to society.” Steve snaps as they wait in line for tickets. 

“Let’s talk about your kid giving everyone but my sweet Angel a valentines card. That’s barbaric.” Eddie defends, watching Motley wave to her friends. 

“He didn’t want to. And I don’t need to tell him what to do.” Steve blushes, turning to look at something to avoid looking at Eddie. 

“There it is again. You’re acting so fucking suspicious about that card, man.” Eddie points at him, silver rings glinting in the light. “Tell me what you know.” 

“Tickets?” The poor woman asks, interrupting their stand off. 

“Yes please. Four.” 

“No two. I’ll get my tickets.” 

“No I’ll get them” 

“You’re not buying me ,Steven.” 

“He’s buying me.” Motley smiles, snatching the money from Steve’s hands and setting them on the table before grabbing two tickets. “Let’s go get some pop, daddy.” 

Eddie can do nothing but follow, letting the little lady lead the way. 

After about an hour of Motley showing him everything and introducing him to all her friends she abandoned him to hang out with some of the girls in her class, making sure Eddie was okay where he sat at an empty table nursing a can of soda. 

It felt like high school again, watching the way all the other dads surrounded Harrington as the pta moms that decorated huddled together and giggled in the corner. At least the kids were having fun. 

Eddie wished you were here, you would be sitting with him. 

“Jesus. Gary never shuts up.” Steve mumbles, snapping Eddie out of his train of thought. “I got you a slice of pizza.” 

He sets the slice down, giving Eddie a weird smile as he scarfs down his own slice. But eddie wasn’t very hungry, instead he surveyed to check on motley and see her giggling with all her friends as they dance in a circle. 

“Your kid has been sitting alone, you gonna help?” Eddie asks, looking to where Vinny sits reading a book. 

“I tried earlier. He just said something about me embarrassing him more.” Steve sighs. “Then complained that I ruin everything.” 

“What happened? I’ve never seen him alone at a party.” 

“Have I not told you? Your daughter is the popular one. They made her move classes and he was left in their old class struggling to make friends.” Steve mumbles. 

“Why don’t you get one of the many dads following you around to get their kids over there? It feels like I’m in highschool again, waiting for your cronies to shove me in the bathrooms and lock me in again.”

“How long were you in that bathroom, again? Two hours?” 

“Three.” Eddie sighs. “I smoked and set off an alarm so the principal found me.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Wasnt one of your worst. I was fine.” Eddie shrugs. “Sorry about Vinny.” 

“I have faith.” Steve sighs, leaning back in his chair. “I also cannot believe I’m at a daddy daughter dance.” 

“It’s a father kid dance?” 

“They didn’t want the boys feeling left out.” Steve explains. 

“I see.” Eddie smiles, picking at the pizza. 

“He wrote one. You know?” 

“Sorry?” 

“Vinny wrote one. He wrote a valentine for Motley and got her a big chocolate bar. But a girl made fun of him in the parking lot and he panicked.” Steve explains. “Ripped it up and left the chocolate on my car to melt on the seats.” 

“I can clean that.” 

“You can?!” 

“Oh yeah. I got you Harrington.” Eddie laughs right as another dad comes to the table. 

“Howdy gentleman.” He smiles, sitting down. Eddie has to blink to recognize, holy shit that’s Tommy. “Oooo. I’m sitting at the hellfire table. So scary…” 

“Do you have a kid here…?” Steve asks, blinking slowly. 

“Yeah.” He slurs, pointing to the young kid stuffing his face with marshmallows.  “You guys want some whiskey?” 

“Jesus. I smell it from here man.” Steve snaps, standing up. 

“I’m driving. Hard pass.” Eddie laughs, standing with Steve. 

“It’s so weird to me that you two are friends! That shit is like….. mind flowing!” 

“Blowing.” Steve corrects and Eddie sighs. “Damn it Harrington. It was a trap.” 

“Blowing is more for you guys, if you know what I mean.” Tommy laughs and Eddie shakes his head. 

“How did you fall for that Harrington? You made that line.” Eddie grumbles, moving to find Motley. “Hey Metalhead?” 

“Yeah daddy?” She asks, coming up with her cheeks bright red from all the dancing. 

“Have you eaten?” He asks, offering her a bite of his pizza before looking back over to Vinny. “Think you can go help him out?” 

“Yeah. I guess.” She sighs, kissing his cheek and rushing to find Vinny and bring him out to dance. 

By the end of the night Eddie has danced to about every little pop song she wants, and by the time he is bringing her to the car it’s more of a carrying her situation as Steve tries to trip Vinny up. 

“Have a good night Harringtons.” Eddie laughs. 

“Sleep tight Munsons.” 

- 

“Shouldn't you be in bed?” Eddie asks, peering up at you over his book as you shuffle and pace around the room. 

“Shut up.” You grunt, waving your hand at him. Your face is pinched up and Eddie finds himself sitting up and staring at you. 

“What’s going on here?” 

“Edward shut UP!” You snap, pacing back to the wall and holding your hands against it to try and breathe in. “Sorry. Sorry that was mean.” 

“Are you in pain?” He mumbles, standing up and putting on his slippers. 

It was your ninth month, and Eddie was anxious because he had never experienced the pregnancy part of it all before so every kick and movement made him worried. 

“Eddie. Edward. Eds.” You grunt out, and right there something trickles down your leg. 

“Did you just pee?” 

“EDWARD!” 

(Would you guys want me to keep going? I have more ideas {Especially Motley in high school} Feel free to message me if you want me to keep going or if you have any blurbs or requests for them in mind)

TAGLIST:: (Let me know if you want removed)

@mariamayhemrsmunson @bethanyzed @alyisdead

@caseyqdilla @zooboomanfu @avenjames-anderson @hazydespair

@bl1ssfulbaby @username199945 @costellation-hunter @vanessav03 @thehuntresswolf @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @jackiosstuff @mysticpeachobject @animechick555 @natie335 @localemofreak @venuslayla23-blog @cherrycolas-things @dontcrydaddy

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Five

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Five! Posting in honour of the face-off. It's a long one again, just started and couldn't stop ngl. But it's pretty fluff filled! Brief warning though, TWD is mentioned here, there aren't any real spoilers but if you're a fan then you'll get what's going on!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy

Masterlist

I couldn’t quite help the way my mind wandered. Back to the diner. Back to Marcie’s words. Back to his smirk. Even as the conversation continued on in the car, Rosie laughing whilst she complained about the radio station that had been put on and Marshall flashing the pair of us funny looks in the rearview mirror. 

Most reasoned that you could tell a lot about a man by how they treated the people around them, not just their kin or the ones they worked closely with. But all people. And somehow, Em kept on surprising me in that regard. 

But maybe surprise wasn’t the best word to use, because it went without saying that his intentions were always pure. Even so, every time he did something I didn’t quite expect I found myself reeling a little further and watching him a whole lot more.

It hadn’t even been a full day and yet, I almost felt at home here in this city I hardly knew, with these people I’d only just recently met. And the entire concept left me waiting. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something to go wrong. Because that was just the way I was wired.

“Sound good?”

I tuned back in at the sound of Marshall’s voice, snapping my gaze away from where it had been trailing out the back window and into the car. Rosie was smiling in the seat beside me, looking all excited, and so I blinked over towards the front seat to meet Marshall’s gaze in the tiny mirror.

“Sorry, I zoned out.” I apologised, blinking once more to try and push away my spiralling thoughts. “What did you say?”

Em took it in stride though, smirking at me before he eventually repeated himself, “Z reckons the park sounds like a good idea.”

Perking up at that, I could easily see why the girl had practically been bouncing in her seat, I peered between the two. “Has it got swings?”

Rosie nodded her head hastily in answer whilst her father just snorted, taking the next right at the end of the road instead of left. And that was that.

It felt strange to say, after having been in the states multiple times before, but everything I did I just kept on finding myself thinking about how it was my very first in America– as in, my first time in Detroit, my first time in a too big car, my first time at a diner. Now, it was my first time experiencing something as insignificant as a park.

It was a nice one though, just to drop that in there, not too shabby and practically empty aside from a far off dog walker in a bright yellow jacket and a couple of runners who were doing laps. 

Em had pulled the car into some sandy lot lined with white lines not too long after the decision had been settled and told us to get out once he’d parked, messing about with the meter whilst Rosie had urged me on.

I let the girl guide us, trying to admire the green grass and the trees that were still slowly changing with the seasons, whilst Z talked a mile a minute about how her soccer team used to meet there. I cringed internally at the use of the American term and vowed that if she ever came to visit London then I would take her out to see just how real football was played.

Marshall managed to catch up to us not long after, though he’d still been muttering about damn machines and dodgy government schemes. Which had me snorting to myself as I’d continue to spin Rosie on the roundabout, jumping on and off its edge to make the thing shake every so often.

The kid seemed to love it though, content to just lie in the middle and watch the sky above fall and swirl. Marshall appeared humoured by the whole ordeal too and had even taken a turn at jumping, landing with just enough weight to produce a loud boom that had Rosie screaming. She’d laughed wildly afterwards, hand over her heart to keep it from beating its way out of her chest.

Em and I watched her spin around some more before it slowed enough so that she could just jump on off, wanting to try her luck at the monkeybars, or ‘jungle gym’ as she’d called it. I chuckled quietly to myself, kicking out a foot to catch the roundabout’s edge to try and stop it completely. Marshall stuck near, watching as it slowly began to steady once more.

“Used to drag motorbikes in here when I was a kid.” I found myself telling him, eyes still stuck on the dragging metal as a memory flashed to the forefront of my mind. I felt Em shift and then caught the way his head then turned towards me from out of the corner of my eye. He waited. I wet my lower lip and felt myself smile, “Would lay ‘em down flat at the very edge here then rev it just enough so that the back wheels would start to make it spin. We would all be crowded in the centre, seven or so of us, clinging to the rails for dear life and screaming bloody murder.”

I glanced over at him then by chance and grinned at the way his brows had since lifted, then huffed out another laugh. 

“The thing would just keep spinning and spinning, until one of us found the courage to throw ourselves off. Or, you know, just yuck up.”

Marshall gave a short snort in return and shook his head with a wrinkled nose and pursed lips, “Fucking nasty. Don’t tell Rosie any of that.”

We shared a snickering laugh, me leaning into him on impulse and him holding me up for just that brief moment. I was quick to reassure, “Promise.”

And what was it with me today and making promises with the Mathers? I bit my tongue to dampen my grin and let the thought go.

The girl mentioned called for us then, having somehow managed to hang herself upside down from the metal bars, practically giving Marshall whiplash as his head spun back around twice just to be certain of what he’d seen. “Girl’s gone be the death of me.” He muttered but was already jogging over to where she was cackling away, hair swinging wildly in the wind.

I followed, albeit at a slower pace, hollowing my cheeks in hopes to hide my obvious amusement, especially when Marshall tried to figure out a way to get his daughter back on even ground. Rosie was far too entertained by the effort though, dodging the man’s attempts and swinging back, forth, left and right to avoid his hands. 

Eventually, she did come down, much to Marshall’s evident relief, which was too easy to see even with the hard frown he’d since taken on. And so Rosie was quick to wave his worries away and hurry over to the next thing, throwing herself onto a swing and gesturing for me to join her. I did, but not before I tossed an impish smirk Marshall’s way as I went to settle in beside her. 

It was Em’s turn to follow me then it seemed, he shook his head at the pair of us when he came to a pause by the swings edge and propped himself against a pole. “You gotta kick a little harder, Z.” He told Rosie after a moment. 

“I am!” The girl laughed in retort, glancing my way to try and match my stride. “It’s not my fault she has longer legs!”

Marshall lifted a brow, arms crossed over his chest, “You can lap most kids on a field and almost give me a heart attack by hangin’ upside down like some sort of bat, but a swing is what stunts you?”

“Dad!” Rosie all but whined, although she was still giggling away. I tried to catch the chain of her swing as I slowed in hopes to pull her with me, but the angle was off and so the most it did was rattle her seat and send me swinging in the opposite direction. 

My hand jumped to grip my own chain once more and I blew out a breathy laugh when the immediate danger of falling flat on my face diminished, but it left me just enough time to have caught the slight startle Marshall had made at the scare. I smirked over at him and raised my palms up so that I was barely holding on by the jut of my thumbs, “All good!”

The man clucked his tongue and looked away from me, almost as if to take a breath, before he was pushing away from the pole and marching over. Instead of stopping by our feet like expected though, Marshall slid behind the two of us and surprised me by grabbing the back of my seat. I jolted at the sudden pull as he lifted me higher, fingertips grazing the back of my jeans ever so before he let go completely. 

I wasn’t ashamed in the least to say that I screamed, dropping so suddenly and from a height I hadn’t expected him to reach was jarring, but then I was laughing breathlessly again as the wind got caught up in my hair, allowing him to give me another hearty shove before he did the same thing to Rosie.

I don’t know how long we sat there swinging, Rosie daring her dad to run between us in between my attempts at trying to teach the girl how to kick her legs a little harder so that she’d be able to swing higher on her own, but we must’ve been at it for a while. At least long enough for the sky to have warmed overhead and then turned into a glazed pink full of bruising purples.

It was then that we decided to call it a day. 

The trip to the playground seemed to have tired Rosie out some though by the time we returned to the car, because the girl slumped into my side not long after we’d set off. Still mostly awake though, she spoke in a soft murmur and pointed out the things that we passed by, her eyes growing heavier and heavier as each moment slipped by but continuing to explain. 

Marshall kept the radio low throughout the drive and let her wear herself out, so much so that she was almost asleep by the time he pulled into the driveway.

“Hey, lovely, we’re here.” I whispered to her, lowering my head just enough so that my cheek pressed against her hair, and rubbed her arm like I would Lottie to coax her into moving, “Gotta head inside now.”

Rosie sniffed sleepily but blinked her bleary eyes open to undo her seatbelt, she smiled as she rubbed at her face then turned to look at me. “I like it when you call me that.” She let slip, leaving me to blink before I realised that she then looked a tad bit sheepish at the admission.

I squeezed her hand and smiled back, “What— lovely?”

She hummed around a tired nod and it was then that the engine and headlights switched off. I peered up in the sudden quiet to find Marshall attempting to appear busy, quietly collecting his keys and the wallet he’d left in his car’s cup holder whilst pretending he hadn’t heard, but I knew he had.

“Just like it.” Rosie murmured again and so I forced myself to glance back at her and her weary smile, she shrugged sleepily.

I couldn’t help the emotion that spread through me and warmed my chest, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to her temple as my hand came up to smooth the back of her hair. “I’ll keep it up then.” I told her in the hush that followed, “Thank you for today.”

Her smile, whilst exhausted, was wide enough to squint her eyes and dimple her chin. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

My nose tingled at the emotion that flooded through me at her heartfelt response and so I was quick to undo my own seatbelt, listening as Marshall’s door opened and the man slid from the car. A second passed, and then two, before there was an audible click and the low light of the driveway crept into the backseat. Rosie smiled up at her father warmly, who extended a hand to help her out whilst I waited, taking a moment to compose myself before I followed, slipping out of the opposite end.

Rosie leaned heavily into his side the whole walk up to the house, muttering about the dog treats she had to give Marcie and how she was looking forward to the coming days, which led to Em softly agreeing with her as he guided his daughter through the front door and gestured for her to head on up the stairs. 

“Night, El.” She didn’t forget to say before she took that first step, kissing her dad’s cheek goodnight and gifting me a quick hug.

I breathed in sharply at the gesture and then smiled softly over at her. 

“Goodnight, lovely.” It only proved to make her grin.

Then it was just him and I, left standing in the hallway, only spurred on by the gentle click of the door that sounded from upstairs. Marshall dragged his cap off and tossed it down onto the ornate cabinet sitting nearby, running a hand over the hair he always kept so short. I moved too, stepping over towards the coat closet door so that I could toe off my shoes and place them neatly inside. 

Em followed and came up behind me a minute later to do the exact same thing, my mouth quirked as I turned towards him though, stealing the shoes out from his hand to set them down beside my own. He shook his head at the gesture but didn’t comment.

The house hummed around us as the door clicked shut, the lights up on the landing soft and yellow where Rosie had just disappeared but enough to stretch out and shine down on us. Marshall jutted his chin in the opposite direction of the kitchen after a minute and when he spoke it was in a low breath, “Don’t know how you’re feelin’ after today but imma watch some tv. If you wanna join.”

It was an offer I was all too appreciative of and so I gave him an eager nod in answer, “Jet lag has yet to hit so I figured I’d just be up unfolding my suitcase until I eventually passed out.”

His grin was small but indulgent, and he shook his head again as he dragged in a slow breath. “Get comfy and I’ll put it on.”

My head tilted on its own accord and I could only guess that the smile I gifted him then was sappy as fuck because he swatted playfully at my chin to turn my face away. I blew out an airy chuckle but kept on grinning, “I’ll be quick.”

Marshall hummed and then turned to walk away, it was only once I’d reached the staircase that he paused and looked back to ask, “Salted or sweet?”

I stopped short, foot dangling in the air just before it could settle on the next step. Pivoting, I shot him a smirk over my left shoulder, “Salted all day, everyday.”

He dipped his chin in a nod and his usual stoic expression melted into something just short of approval. I swallowed down another laugh behind my smile and hurried up the rest of the stairs, anxious to get out of my jeans and into anything else.

I made quick work of it, washing my face free of the makeup I’d put on that same morning and tucking my hair behind my ears. I did jump out of the denim too once I’d pulled a pair of shorts out of my suitcase, although I paused just before I could reach for the hem of the hoodie I still had on.

Peering down at it, I wondered if he would care if I wore it for a little longer and chewed on my lower lip. I realised all too quickly how much time I was wasting with the debate so I simply shrugged and just kept the thing on, slipping out of the tee I had on underneath before I was putting my phone on charge and heading back out the door. 

Marshall, it seemed, had already settled in, the smell of popcorn and the light from the tele leading my way into the family room he’d shown me earlier on to find him already spread out on the sofa, arm thrown over its back whilst he scrolled aimlessly through a couple of films.

As I padded in, hands tucked into my pockets and chin ducked into the neck of my hood, he turned to greet me. I watched, rounding one end of the couch, as he raised a brow and let his eyes flicker down to the hoodie I still wore before they darted back up to my face. “I’m not gettin’ that back, am I?”

I snuffed out a short, airy chuckle and rolled my eyes at the idiot before I plopped down to sit on the other side of the popcorn bowl he’d brought in, gaze catching on the stash of drinks and chocolate he had on the coffee table too. “You will,” I assured him, rolling my head against the back of the sofa to look his way, “Just warm, is all.”

Em hummed sceptically, but let the matter drop– for now.

“What are we watching then?” I wondered, pulling my legs up so that I could better settle into the cushions.

He went down a couple slides on the browsing page before he switched from films over to tv shows, “Up to you.” I groaned, hating having to be the decider, and he laughed to himself because he knew it too. “Jus’ pick something, girl. Damn.”

Picking up a popcorn kernel, I tossed it at his head and smiled snarkily when he jolted back just a tad and peered down at the offending piece that had settled on his chest. He shot me a look that had me stifling yet another chuckle and then popped the thing into his mouth. I rolled my eyes once more and sighed. 

“Um,” I drawled out in thought after a brief moment, eyes scanning the few series that were being advertised. I blinked when I spotted the ‘Because you watched..’ portion of the screen, “You’re a Walking Dead fan?”

Marshall glanced over at me, “Got addicted a while back, all I could fuckin’ watch for months.”

My eyes widened in sudden excitement and I felt the way my grin dimpled my cheeks. “Don’t. ‘Cause I was the same. I’m legit sitting on my hands waiting for the next season to come out.”

His brow pinched and he shifted in his seat. “Comes out Sunday, right?”

“Yeah, for you lot!” I immediately argued, straightening up in my chair as I turned to him again, “I have to wait ages for it to even premier back home, so I’ve resorted to using dodgy websites in an attempt to not get any spoilers.”

Em snorted and then tsked, “Oo, she’s bad.”

My eyes crinkled around my next laugh and I reached out to nudge his arm. “Why are you such a dick?” I tutted before I relaxed back into my seat again to chew on the corner of my mouth, wondering if I should even dare ask the next question that came to mind.

“‘Gotta keep up appearances, baby.” Marshall smirked as his gaze slid back on over towards the tv screen, unaware of how I had just gone and paused for a split second. “But see, this is just another reason why America wins.”

I instantly scoffed, “Wins what? Because I can start listing off a whole load of gross shit right now about all the fucked up shit you guys have done and do. Or,” I dragged out, feeling a little triumphant when he rolled his eyes at me, “We can just pretend you didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sniffed as he jutted out his chin, “Actin’ like your people didn’t come over and colonise this place.”

My head lazed back when I glanced towards the ceiling in hopes of finding the slim chance that there’d be some kind of peace waiting up there for me. But if there ever was such a thing, I knew it wouldn’t be hanging over my head. 

“You have to have the final say, don’t you?” I ended up chuckling, before I let go of a sigh and turned to look back at him, only to find that he was already watching me.

He smirked. “Look, if you shut up we can rewatch this last season and maybe.. Maybe. I’ll think about lettin’ you watch it with me Sunday.”

My jaw snapped shut in my haste to agree to his terms, the clink of my teeth almost audible in the quiet room. Marshall let go of a low chuckle before he scrolled a little lower and clicked start on Season Four.

The prison.

I reached out and took a small handful of the popcorn as a pair of long legs came into view, the camera following them and winding its way lower and further out, I shifted so that I was sat with my feet tucked beneath me.

A couple minutes passed by with the pair of us entirely focused on the scene, and so it was surprising for Em to be the one who broke the silence, “Bet you right now, I can guess who your favourite is.”

Glancing over at him, I let him witness my sly smile, “Oh, we’re doing this then?”

He grunted a hum in response before his eyes flickered between me and the tv. 

“That mean I can guess yours?” I wondered out loud and he thought it over before eventually giving a single shoulder shrug. I didn’t really need time to think about my guess, I could remember most of this season pretty well and I liked to think that I knew Em well enough too. “What do I win if I get it right?”

Marshall’s head lolled against the back of the chair to meet my questioning gaze, “The pleasure of my company.”

I tossed another kernel at him, pulling a face when he somehow managed to catch it in his mouth. “Do better,” I told him and picked up another piece to throw his way again, the pair of us making an odd game out of it. “Come on, what do I get?”

He sat up slightly and actually put some thought into it, “I don’t know,” He eventually muttered before his gaze met mine again, eyes roaming over my face. “You can keep the hoodie.”

I gawked a tad, “I don’t even wanna know how much this thing costs, so no.”

With a mirthful shake of his head, Em wet his lower lip and blew out a huffed breath, “It suits you better anyway. So you can keep it whether you get it right or not.”

I met his languid gaze with a look of my own. “You’re just saying that ‘cause you think I stink, aren’t you?”

It truly was utterly hilarious how fast and how wide his eyes then grew, and I got to watch it all happen, even the moment he spluttered over the handful of popcorn he’d just started to chew on. “The fuck?” 

He coughed and laughter spilled from me, enough so that I was actually unable to breathe with how hard I was chuckling, hand on my chest to keep from wheezing. “You–” I snickered, unable to kill my laughter entirely, “You should– God, Marshall. You should’ve seen your face!”

He grabbed another large handful of popcorn and threw it straight at me. Even as I continued to laugh, I cowered away to shield myself from the attack, only dropping my hands down once the dull thuds stopped to find kernels littering the majority of the seat as well as my hair. 

“Such a bitch.”

“Me?” I gaped around another chuckle, “You literally just shit yourself!”

Flipping me off, Marshall shook his head and moved to pick up the popcorn he’d just thrown, and so I did too, smiling all the while, even more so when he reached out to untangle a stray piece from the side of my hood.

It was quiet for a short while after that, us moving around one another to put the popcorn in the bin, the first episode of The Walking Dead continuing on without us. It was then that I finally decided to make my guess and paused an arms length away, “Hershel.”

Marshall’s head snapped up from where he was emptying his handful into the bin. He blinked, then stood to his full height. “How’d you guess?”

I grinned, or rather, positively beamed at his reply. “So I’m right?” I asked avidly, having stopped dead in my tracks. He reluctantly nodded, rolling his eyes at my obvious enthusiasm even though the smile he wore was almost fond. “I can’t believe it.”

He pushed out a disbelieving laugh and shook his head. “How?” He prompted again, leading me to shrug.

“Can’t explain it, just had a feeling.” I told him truthfully as he wandered back over towards the sofa, I straightened out the cushions and then sat down beside him. The popcorn bowl had been moved onto the coffee table after all the fuss, which meant we were a lot closer now, but neither one of us seemed to mind it.

“Nah,” Marshall said, knuckle knocking into my knee, “Really. What gave it away?”

I chuckled and waved the offending hand away, “Honest. I really don’t know, it just– It felt like the right answer. He’s sort of like you in a way actually.” Em gawked a tad at that but I just continued on, “He’s stubborn,” I listed with a rueful smile, “almost to a fault.” And as Marshall’s lips thinned, I carried on in my observing, “But he believes strongly in what he considers is right and loves his family to the bitter end. All of them.”

He mulled it over.

“Plus,” I couldn’t help but add, “He’s fucking tough. Just keeps on going, even with everything they throw at him. I mean, the leg. Come on!”

I was met by a surveying look before the man finally cracked a smile and hummed. The blue of his eyes were dimmed in the low light of the tv now but they flickered back and forth between my own, “Daryl.” He said softly in retort, to which I frowned. 

Marshall just continued on though, smiling still as he relaxed back into his seat completely. “Your favourite. It’s Daryl.”

The corners of my mouth twitched and I watched him for a second before a gentle chuckle bypassed my lips, “Why?”

His head pressed further into the back of the couch and I found myself shuffling to join him, cushioning my cheek on my forearm. “Hearts of gold.” He murmured, voice deep and low whilst still also managing not to resonate off the surrounding walls, his words meant only for me to hear. “Selfless, too. You’re a fighter and your silence speaks volumes.” 

He paused, watching again, waiting. “There’s just more to you than what first meets the eye, you know?” 

I didn’t really know. Didn’t know how to respond to that either and so I just smiled, reaching up to tilt his chin away from me so that I wouldn’t be stuck under that hypnotising gaze of his. He huffed a chuckle, the sound of it warm enough to hollow out a small part of me. 

It was then that we both chose to move, I shifted just as his arm came up to rest on the back of the sofa, tipping the cushion beneath me a tad so that I was pressing further into his side. He didn’t complain though, merely draped the arm over my shoulders instead and focused back on the tv screen; Rick crouched in the grass, his eyes glossy as he contemplated the decisions people made in a world like his.

“I forgot to thank you, by the way.” Marshall mentioned after a while in not quite a whisper.

The skin between my brow wrinkled, “What for?”

Rick stood, eyes stuck on the burlap sack. Then, almost as if it pained him, he started to walk away, away from the couple, their decisions, their desperation, and back into the woods.

“Today.” Marshall murmured quietly, before he then added, “Rosie.”

I shook my head as best as I could, “I should be the one thanking you.”

But he was adamant it seemed. “No, really. You–” He stopped and took a small breath, “You’re good with her. She likes you. And then that shit at the park, and in the car.” I felt him shrug lightly, the motion thoughtless, and could picture the struggle that warred over his face. So I didn’t dare move. “Don’t think she’s ever really had someone treat her like that.”

Once again today, I found myself wanting to probe, to question. But I could feel how hard it was for him to speak, to get his words out and across in the way he wanted. I kept quiet.

“It–” He forced himself to exhale, “It just means a lot. So I gotta say thanks.”

My arm came up around his waist almost automatically and I squeezed briefly before I pulled away again, swallowing the emotion that had welled in my throat. “She’s a good kid.” I told him in a soft hum, “You don’t have to thank me for anything. It’s not how shit works with me.”

He snorted a breathy laugh out through his nose and finally eased back enough that I could actually feel the tension flood from him. “I’m starting to get that.” He admitted quietly, as though it hadn’t even been meant for me.

I didn’t question it though, or the way it made me feel, because I suddenly felt my eyes begin to droop. I licked at the corner of my mouth and sniffed, “Think it's hitting me now.”

I felt when Em moved to peer down at me, smirking when he saw just how heavy my eyes had quickly become and the way I was now fighting to keep them open. “Come on,” He prompted gruffly, shifting in his seat to stand before he held both of his hands out towards me, “Bed.”

Snuffling a tad, I did end up taking his arms, allowing him to tug me up. I swayed ever so slightly once I was finally standing. “I hate flying.”

He snorted but entertained me, “Yeah?”

I uhuhed, blinking again slowly. 

Apparently, me all doped out due to a lack of sleep was enough to get Em laughing because he cracked up when I almost toppled back down onto the sofa on my way out of the room, pouting at the knock my knee had taken instead. “Shuddup.” 

“Almost there, sure you ain’t gone fall down them stairs?” He teased and the air that escaped him at the blow I hit him with tickled the back of my neck, “Fuck. Remind me not to mess with you.”

I smiled sleepily before his hand came to settle on the small of my back almost thoughtlessly, peering up to find that we’d made it to the staircase. I grabbed at the bannister and pulled myself up the first few steps.

“You good?”

I hummed at his ask, the sound buzzing somewhere in the back of my throat, before my eyes were slipping closed once more and then shooting wide open when I managed to miss the edge of the next step. 

Marshall’s hands were immediately there to catch me. “Careful, baby.” He murmured, so focused on the task of getting us up the stairs without injury that he was blissfully unaware of how his words had chased some of the sleep away.

“I’m okay.” I reassured him once I’d finally managed to find my voice, but his hands remained on my hips all the way up the stairs and to the landing.

We stopped there, at the patch of hall that separated his room from mine. “Sure?” He quizzed, dipping his head to catch my eye.

Unable to do anything other than smile, I chuckled. “I’m sure. Sorry, I was fine and then it–”

“I get it.” He cut in, “Hits you hard and sort of comes outta nowhere.”

“Yeah.” I croaked out another laugh, tired eyes trailing between his. “Bet I won’t even sleep that long either.”

Marshall perked up a little at that, understanding exactly where I was coming from, “Well, you need anything you know where I am.”

I rolled my eyes but kept on smiling. “I’ll be okay.”

He hummed, not entirely satisfied with that, but took a step back once he realised I really was fine. “Just say okay for my own fuckin’ peace of mind.”

Raising my hand I saluted him stupidly, but it had him biting back another smile. 

“Dork.”

“Dick.” I shot back.

He shook his head, “Go to sleep, asshole.”

“I am.” I snorted just as my hand gripped the handle to my room, “So fuck off.”

Marshall continued to stand there though, tucking his hands into the joggers he was wearing as he waited for the door to swing open and for me to step inside. 

I paused just short of the threshold, fingers playing with the handle for a second. “See you tomorrow then.”

A small smirk worked its way across his face.

“Tomorrow.” He repeated before he finally took a step back and turned to head down the hallway. I watched him go, until he disappeared into the shadows and I was left alone for the first time since I’d arrived.

Tomorrow, I thought to myself as I moved to shut the bedroom door.

–

Turned out that I had been right. 

It must have been around twelve or so when Marshall and I had finally turned in, but I was blinking back to consciousness no less than a few hours later. 

One glance at the clock told me it was only half five and the hour had me biting back a hefty sigh. Still, I knew I wouldn’t be getting much more sleep so I took the shower I hadn’t had the chance to the night before and started to get ready for the day, playing music low to keep myself company in the quiet my room offered.

An hour or so must have passed with me just puttering about, pulling out some clothes and drying my hair, it was when I’d just finished applying a little makeup to mask the darker circles that had appeared under my eyes over the last couple of weeks that I first heard it. A slight scuffle.

I paused and set down the makeup bag I’d been packing back away, waited for a second until I heard it again. Just a slight shuffle of feet beyond the door.

Forcing myself up off the bed, I stood and wandered over towards it, watching as a small shadow casted under the foot of the door before I turned the handle. The face I was met with shot over towards me in startled surprise and I chuckled inwardly, choosing to smile instead.

“Hey, lovely. You okay?” I asked, peering out down the hallway to find that the lights were still off, probably for my sake.

Rosie was chewing heavily on her lip when I looked back at her, the girl already dressed for school. She nodded and lifted her mouth in an apologetic grin, “Sorry, hope I didn’t wake you. Dad said to be a bit quieter.”

I grinned at the thought but rolled my eyes at the man and bumped the door open a little wider with my hip, figuring that Rosie had been shuffling outside for something but unsure on whether or not it could land her in trouble. Especially seeing as Marshall had instructed her to keep the noise down, thinking I was still asleep.

“You’re all good, been up for a while.” I told her, wandering back over to the foot of the bed after I’d gestured her inside. I packed away the remaining products which were still laid out on the bedspread and let her peer around a little. “Excited for school?” I asked, glancing over to where she still stood by the entrance.

She hummed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “It’s school.”

Releasing a soft chuckle, I dipped my head in an amused sort of nod. “I can understand that. You got a favourite lesson at least?”

Rosie chewed her lip again in thought before deciding on History. I smiled at the way her little face lit up at the mention, but I prolonged the silence a little in hopes that it would get her to open up about why she’d been shuffling about outside. It was a trick that had worked a dozen times over on Lottie.

Seemed it worked on Z too, who toed at the carpet just as I moved my makeup bag off to the side. “You any good with hair?”

The question did catch me by surprise, I couldn’t lie, but then I was grinning. “My sister had me learning all sorts,” I divulged to her, “and when I was back at school me and my friends would spend our lunch hour plaiting each other's hair. Drove the teachers mad.”

Rosie giggled at that and finally seemed to relax, moving further into the room. “Would you braid mine?” She wondered and peered up at me with those doe eyes I knew Marshall must have a hard time saying no to, “Dad’s getting better but he usually says it's just good up and out of the way in a ponytail.”

I pulled a face, wrinkling my nose at that. “Well, sure. But I reckon it’s just ‘cause he spends too long trying to work it out all over again each time you ask. You’re lucky though, my brother won’t even try.”

We shared a giggle as I wandered around to grab a few products I’d need. “Didn’t know you had a brother.” Rosie stated once I’d pointed her over to the chair closest and started on brushing her hair, being careful not to tug or pull.

I hummed softly in reply, “He’s a little younger, has a job that takes him all over the world so I don’t see him too often.”

“What’s he do?” She quizzed me, and for all that I’d learnt about how excitable the girl could be, she sat almost stock still in the seat as I sectioned off her hair. 

“He’s in the Army,” I answered her, figuring that I’d do two dutch braids and use the black ribbons I’d gotten in New York to tie them off. “He’s good at it too, loves it there.”

That set her off and she began asking question after question, probably curbing all of her enthusiasm into it seeing as she couldn’t move. I rambled away too, regaling lighter stories of my brother’s experiences, as well as the pair of us as kids. Rosie seemed to prefer those, smiling up at me and wondering if she could see the picture I’d just told her about, of Danny and I at the beach covered in thick, muddy sand. 

I wrapped up her two braids, tying the bows before I moved away to grab my mobile, finding the picture easily enough seeing as though Danny had sent me it the last time he’d been on leave.

“You look so alike!” Rosie giggled when she took a look at it, taking in the obvious traits we shared.

I chuckled as she stepped back, “Not really, he’s got a much bigger head.”

She laughed at that but then appeared to catch her reflection in the mirror on the dresser, she gasped and hurried closer to get a better look at the braids. She admired them for a long moment before she eventually grinned up at me, “It’s so pretty.” Rosie murmured gently, fingers toying with the black ribbon before she wrapped her arms around my waist, “Thank you.”

Anyone else I would have waved them off and said it was nothing, and in a way it was, but with Z I could only hug her back and smile. “You’re most welcome.” I told her as we parted, “Just glad you like it.”

“Like it?” The girl’s eyes widened like something straight out of a Disney movie, “I love it!”

I did chuckle then, “Well, I’m glad.” It was in that next moment that I went to tuck my phone into my back pocket and blinked at the time, “Best to go find your dad, don’t want you to be late.”

Rosie nodded around another grin, looking in the mirror one last time whilst I gathered up the last of my things to join her. We headed out together, Z telling me all about the lessons she was supposed to have today as we trailed down the stairs. 

All of our talking must have alerted Marshall because he only lifted a brow at his daughter when we entered the kitchen. “What I tell you?”

I gifted the man a placating grin as I wandered in behind her. “It’s fine, I was already up.” I reassured him, “And besides, I was doing God’s work.”

Rosie snickered at my words, but did a twirl when I pointed over at her. She was giddy when she approached the kitchen counter in a rush, pushing against it to beam up at her father. “Like it?”

Marshall’s face softened at the sight of her so smiley and went to run a hand over the girl’s head, but there was just enough time for Rosie to duck out of his reach.

“Dad!” She admonished, shooting him an appalled look before she moved to settle onto a stool on the opposing side.

The man held his hand up in surrender, eyes disbelieving. “Apologies, didn't realise I was talking to Dolly Parton.” He muttered and shook his head before turning and mumbling under his breath, “Jesus.”

I snorted to myself and glanced about the kitchen, not an avid breakfast eater but used to having at least a brew first thing. Marshall must have noticed after he’d slid a bowl of cereal towards his daughter and glanced my way.

“Thanks for that, by the way.” He said quietly to me, gesturing over to where his daughter sat, munching away. “She didn’t bother you none?”

My head shook quickly, “No, not at all. It was nice, I’ve missed the days of doing my sister’s hair. She’s long grown out of that phase now.”

Marshall quirked a small smile of his own and then padded towards a cupboard, it was there that he dragged out a box. I frowned at the wicker exterior and honed in closer when my eye caught on something familiar poking out the top. 

I gasped. “No shit.”

“Dollar!”

My head spun back to find Rosie grinning at me from around her spoon. I winced at the slip and shot the pair an apologetic smile which Em just waved off, but I jumped to grab a dollar from the small card case I’d brought down with me anyway and slapped it on the side. “I have a feeling this house is going to bankrupt me.”

Rosie giggled whilst Marshall just shook his head and pushed the dollar back to me. I hardened my stare and dared him to fight me on it. To my surprise the man just huffed out a short sound that could only have been a laugh before he gestured back over to the box.

“Was meant to give it to you yesterday.” He revealed as I carefully moved to peer into it again, marvelling at all the little treats that sat inside. “But things got real busy.”

I released a breath, my mouth parted whilst I reached a hand into the box. I grinned, heart warming at the item I held. “Tea.” I practically exclaimed as I looked back at the pair, not having had a cup since I’d arrived in The States, “And my favourite kind, too. How’d you even know?”

“Mentioned it before.” Em said breezily, before he moved back over to the island.

Had I? I wondered, perplexed by the idea of him even remembering before the sound of another cupboard opening dragged my eyes away from what else had been in the box.

I watched closely as Marshall dragged out a metal appliance from under the counter, only furthering my shock.

“The girls went through a herbal tea phase a while ago, bought this stupid thing and used it a half a dozen times.” He mentioned and settled down a kettle for me to use, “Figure you’ll need it.”

Rosie laughed then, breaking my daze as she slurped up the remaining milk which lined her bowl, “Think she’s speechless, Daddy.”

I narrowed my eyes playfully in turn, but she hadn’t been wrong. I just couldn’t quite wrap my head around it all. With a short snort, Em smirked and glanced back at me. 

“Come on,” He egged, “we only got a bit before I gotta go. Make me one.”

Unable to dim the smile that then chose to overwhelm my face, I simply shook my head in disbelief but jumped into action, “Grab me two mugs then– the milk too.”

I plugged the kettle in by the simple coffee machine in the corner and peeled open the familiar gold box full of heaven, popping two teabags into each of the mugs Marshall then slid on over to me. I prepped each one a little differently, knowing that Em wasn’t too big a fan of milk in his coffee before I added a couple spoons of sugar to sweeten it. It was always nicer to taste that way the first time around, but most were weaned off of it by the time they were old enough to realise that the practice was sacrilege. 

By the time I was clinking a teaspoon on one edge and had dumped both tea bags out, I padded back over to where Marshall was now sitting with Rosie, both of them having been content to just watch me work, and settled it in front of him. I urged him to try it with a raise of my brows.

He wet his lower lip, shared a brief look with his daughter which made me muffle a giggle, before he finally took a slow sip. He blinked at the taste and my grin widened. “Good, right?”

Em blinked again down at the muddy brew and I watched as his mouth pursed before he tried it once more. Rosie hunched over to get a look too, “Can I try?”

Marshall looked to me to ask if she could and I couldn’t see a reason not to, had practically been drinking tea for as long as I’d been on solids. So I dipped my chin, “It’s similar to coffee, but not. Won’t send her into a caffeine frenzy.”

With a cluck, Em let the girl take a sip, warning her that it was hot just before Z pulled away with a heavy grimace. The girl shook her head to show her evident disgust and both Marshall and I laughed at the reaction. “Gross.”

“Oi.” I rebuked teasingly, pointing at her from around my mug, which earnt me a giggle of my own before she was settling back down on her stool.

“Not for me.” She declared and then jumped off the chair to place her now empty bowl in the sink, “Sorry, El.”

I laughed at her apologetic wince and waved her off, “You’re alright, sweetheart. Isn’t for everyone.”

Rosie’s wrinkled expression eased at my words and she smiled as she rounded the island to lean into my side, “You coming to drop off too?”

Blinking, I glanced over at Marshall in confusion. “Drop off?”

The man continued to sip at his tea, which amused me to no end because I knew by the time I had to leave I’d have him hooked, and licked his lower lip before answering, “School.”

Oh. I nodded in a way that showed an understanding then peered down at the smiley blonde beside me, “Sure, if it’s okay with your Dad.”

Rosie nodded eagerly and looked towards the man in question, who’s eyes darted between the both of us before he ultimately shrugged. It got him a giant grin. “I’m going to grab my bag!” The girl told us and barely even gave anyone a chance to get a word in edgeways before she was darting across the room and up the stairs.

I smiled after the retreating figure, amused by her antics, but eventually Marshall dragged my attention back to him. “You good with comin’?”

Withholding a sigh, I shot him an exasperated smile and another nod. “‘Course. Stop questioning shit.”

He pulled a face. “Just tryna be hospitable, shit.”

“Hospitable isn’t the word I’d use.” I chuckled then finished the last of my drink, peering into the still warm mug, “Thanks for this though. It means– well, I can’t explain how much it means to me. Like having a little bit of home here.”

Marshall dipped his chin in silent understanding, still sipping away. “Can understand why, I’ve had this shit before but it ain’t ever tasted like this.”

That had me grinning, “You pulling my leg?”

“Nah, for real.” He said, nodding his head, “You put somethin’ in it?”

I glared and swiped his cup away, taking the two of them over to the sink to rinse. “No clue why you went into the music business, should’ve just been a clown.”

He was smirking when I looked back over, forearms pressed against the counter as he watched me clean the mugs and Rosie’s bowl. “Have a dishwasher, you know.”

Wrinkled my nose, I shrugged, “Probably have a lot of shit that makes life easier.”

“What’s that meant to mean?” Em laughed, the sound of it low but rippling the otherwise quiet kitchen.

“Take it as you will,” I retorted smugly, drying the dishes off easily and placing them down on the draining board. “We gonna start writing today?”

I asked it as I turned back to face him, pressing back against the sink to meet his stare. He shook his head though and pushed up out of the barstool, grabbing the keys he’d since set out on the side, “Figure I’d show you ‘round first.”

The smirk he wore made me question what it was exactly that he meant for us to do, but before I could even think up a reply he was already trailing away and calling up the stairs to Rosie. 

Still, the thought lingered.

[one-flower-one-sword]

Hello! I love reading your analyses. What are your thoughts on Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu?

Thank you for your ask! I'm so happy you like reading my posts, that really means a lot to me ;_;

Okay so I really like both Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu as individual characters and also their relationship, I don't know if I have anything interesting to say about them though ;A; but I'll give it a try!

First thing that comes to my mind is really how what happens with the both of them once they're in heaven is such good evidence of how toxic the work environment and the power structures up there are. Everything they already struggled with in their sect is even worse; the jealousy, the bullying, the intolerance, the abuse of power. Quan Yizhen was drawn to Yin Yu because of Yin Yu's kindness, but I think he could tell that the pressure to conform to heaven's power structures was starting to chip away at it:

Quan Yizhen kept going. "They cussed at me first. I don't even know them. They said I was a low-ranking heavenly official and yelled at me for no reason, then they laughed at me and told me to scram and not to block their way. I told them to apologize, and they wouldn't, so I beat them up. They only shut up when I beat them up, otherwise I wouldn't have hit them."

Things were considerably more peaceful in the current time*, but in the early days, some heavenly officials - from both the Upper and Lower Courts - would throw their weight around and bully lower ranked officials with less experience. Yin Yu sighed.

"Are lower-ranked heavenly officials beneath other people?" Quan Yizhen asked.

"No," Yin Yu replied.

Was that true? It was obvious that he didn't believe his own words, and Quan Yizhen noticed.

Quan Yizhen, who hasn't ascended yet, declares that he doesn't like heaven, and when Yin Yu admits to the same, Quan Yizhen suggests that they go back to the human realm. But Yin Yu is deeply caught up in what's essentially sunk-cost fallacy; because ascending to heaven was both his dream and quite hard for him, he wants to stay even though it's making him increasingly unhappy. He can't face the fact that his dream has turned out utterly disappointing.

I think they're also a good case of why it's downright impossible for individuals to change the power structures of the environment they find themselves in on their own - Yin Yu tries to conform and to get by with smoothing over conflict whenever it happens, essentially just forcing himself to endure it all quietly. Meanwhile Quan Yizhen rightfully doesn't understand why he should let himself be mistreated and pushes back, though that also essentially doesn't change their situation and only leads to more pressure being put on the two of them. From his perspective, leaving is the best choice since life in the sect, where he was simply left to train all day, was much better for him. But it's also understandable that from Yin Yu's perspective, it wouldn't be much better since he'd already been having similar problems back then with people expecting him to manage and control Quan Yizhen.

Plus, Yin Yu is very conscious of the opinions and expectations of the people around him and quite anxious to fulfill said expectations - I can imagine that he wouldn't know how to deal with his sect's reaction if he, a cultivator who had received the ultimate honor of ascension, were to reject said honor and go back to being mortal. Kind of ironic to think that once he's banished, he will start working for a ghost who did reject his own ascension.

*Minor aside, since this it's from when Xie Lian was watching those events unfold, I think it's less that things are actually more peaceful now and more that Xie Lian doesn't yet know how deeply the corruption of the heavens really runs and how bad things really are. Plus, he overall spends very little time in heaven, so I don't think we can fault him for having this impression.

Speaking of Xie Lian, I find it very telling that the ghost realm, and specifically Ghost City - the one single autonomous place within all three realms - eventually becomes both his and Yin Yu's home. I know people joke a lot about Yin Yu deserving a raise and such, but I think they forget what it actually means that he's the right-hand man of Hua Cheng, given that Hua Cheng holds so much power and influence in all three realms that he's the only one Jun Wu is genuinely wary about. That's an incredibly high position, not to mention the level of trust Hua Cheng shows Yin Yu, like in the amnesia extra when he sends him to deal with the monster that stole Xie Lian's memories. I'm going to get more into this in the Yin Yu-centric meta I've been working on though.

One thing I've been thinking on as I'm drafting this reply is that I feel what ties all four of these characters together is how their relationships started because of acts of kindness, both big and small, and the long-lasting effects thereof.

Like for Xie Lian and Hua Cheng I think no explanation is needed. Then Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu's relationship started when Yin Yu asked his shifu to take Quan Yizhen in to their sect when he met him as an abandoned child that really wanted to learn martial arts and got beaten up by adults for it. Then Quan Yizhen's friendship with Xie Lian started because when that play that very cruelly mocked Yin Yu was shown in heaven, Xie Lian was the only one that cared how upset it made Quan Yizhen and threw a chopstick to make the curtains fall.

And I feel like for Yin Yu, it might be the same with Hua Cheng, who he stays loyal to because Hua Cheng was the only one to help him and the one to take him in when all of heaven abandoned him:

"Chengzhu has shown me grace. He saved me -"

"I know," Jun Wu said. "He even helped you pacify and send off Jian Yu's vengeful spirit after he died during your banishment, am I right?"

Hua Cheng right from the start is described as someone who, despite being a Ghost King, is known to sometimes do "odd acts of kindness", and I feel that taking Yin Yu in was one of those. Because think about it - by the time Yin Yu is banished, He Xuan has already infiltrated the heavens, so there's not really any valuable Intel to be gained from taking Yin Yu with him. I can't really imagine Hua Cheng doing it just to spite the heavens either, at least not completely, since he lets Yin Yu hide his identity and apparently no one (except apparently Jun Wu) knew where Yin Yu even was for years. But I can imagine Hua Cheng coming across Yin Yu - a god banished and shackled, abandoned and mocked by all of heaven, punished essentially for someone else's choices but taking the blame regardless, accompanied only by a wrath ghost - who might that have reminded him of?

Sorry, I feel like i probably ended up talking about lots of other things than what your question was about. It's when I start thinking about the themes and stuff in this novel I can't stop ;A; Feel free to ask a follow-up question(s) if I got too off-topic!

[hopepetal]

My piece in the fourth edition of the @trafficzine! I wrote about Impulse's boogey kill on Pearl :)

(Spot the boatem knights au reference in the fic lol)

Read on AO3!

Enjoy! :)

--

The curse looms over Impulse like storm clouds over the sky, and he thirsts for time like grass for rain. He catches his breath as the curse settles on him, choosing him as the boogeyman. 

He releases the breath through his mouth, quietly forming the words “not the boogeyman” with his lips. It's not the truth, but it sounds enough like it for no one to suspect a thing. He's gotten good at lying, at deceiving and backstabbing, over the course of the life series. He and Skizz are different in that way. Where his friend remains honest and loyal, he weaves treachery and lies into his words. 

Impulse isn't strong enough to be honest. That, in his opinion, is one of his greatest flaws. He's too weak to hold any true loyalty to his team– he supposes that's why the thought of just killing one of them crosses his mind instantly. 

No, he rebukes instantly, if I kill too quickly, they might want to do a reroll. He thinks back to the first boogey, how Grian had claimed it wasn’t “entertaining enough”. How Skizz had died twice in quick succession, just because there hadn’t been enough suspense to make things interesting. 

Impulse joins the bad boys and Tango in teasing Grian– he’s well and fully asleep, passed out on the llama– and pretends that he isn’t thinking of killing every single one of them. He thirsts, thirsts for time in a way he knows is just beginning. It will get worse over time, so he’s been told, and that is not something he’s looking forward to.

They have a brief conversation about the bread bridge and gold. Jimmy’s upset with Joel, Joel is flusteredly trying to explain, and Impulse somehow manages to keep a pleasant smile on his face the whole time. He ignores how his fingers twitch, itching to grab onto his sword and swing it right into one of the bad boys' chests. 

Impulse and Tango manage to leave without spilling any blood, leaving the two bickering bad (bread) boys behind. The trek back to their base is mostly silent– Impulse is trapped in his thoughts for the most of it. He wonders once more if he should just get an easy kill on his teammates, or if he should tell them about him being the boogey. 

He almost does tell them. Instead, he innocently asks “anyone the boogey?” and feigns ignorance and joy when they all confirm that they aren’t. He supposes that’s one good thing about being the boogey; he doesn’t have to spend the entire session worrying about whether someone was lying to him or not, watching his back and fearing for his life.

Everything continues as normal. Skizz pulls Tango aside to talk while Etho begins placing red concrete in the water, watching it harden before mining it. And oh, it would be so easy to kill them– they’re not even looking! Their backs are turned! None of them even have their weapons drawn, so lulled into a false sense of security that–

No.

No.

He can’t do this. Not again. He won’t betray his teammates. He’ll just have to find someone better to kill.

There’s Scar, running over the hill and pulling Skizz aside. Impulse draws his sword but the other is too quick to disappear around the tower with Skizz in tow, claiming that it’s a “private meeting.” Impulse looks between Tango and Etho with a nervous chuckle that has no actual anxiety behind it. He knows Skizz is safe. Scar is green, after all, and the only one who could really put Skizz in any danger is Impulse himself. 

“Scar could be the boogey for all we know,” he points out, the smile on his face a contrast to the more serious words he’s saying, “are we sure we want to leave them alone?”

They leave Skizz alone with Scar anyway. If he was in any real danger, they’d get him out of there. There’s a team meeting (“Three quarters of a team meeting!” Tango jokes) and they begin to discuss skynet. Impulse makes his worry over falling off quite clear, and suggests that he goes and grabs some ender pearls. 

He does exactly that– the monotony of mining and healing and trading does enough to take his mind off of the ever growing thirst in the back of his throat. His communicator buzzes in his back pocket when he finishes up, Tango sending an excited response when the notification goes out. The communicator buzzes again as he begins to trade, and he wonders why in the void’s name did anyone ever think that achievements were a good idea. He gets what he needs, though, clutching eleven ender pearls in hand before returning to the surface.

And– oh boy, there’s Bdubs and Scar on the opposite bank, yelling about something incomprehensible. Things usually are that way, with the clockers. Cockers? Whatever they were calling themselves. Upon noticing Impulse, they wade through the water to join him, bringing their dogs with them.

“How are you, Impulse?” Scar asks in his pleasant voice, a smile on his lips as Bdubs helps him out of the water while rambling about something “blasting him all over the place”. 

“I’m doing great, how are you–” Impulse begins, but is interrupted by Tango falling from the sky and crashing into the water with a demonic sort of squawking. 

Bdubs is unphased by this, shouting out an excited “hi, Tango! That was cool!”

Tango clambers out of the water and immediately is staring at the small puppy shaking water out of its fur. “That dog’s head is way too big for its body,” he points out, and Bdubs shrugs and says something about the cuteness factor.

Impulse pulls out the ender pearls stashed away in his inventory. “Since you guys are friends…” He hands one to Bdubs before throwing one to Scar. “...do you want one of these?”

Bdubs’ eyes widen, and he takes his pearl with a grin. “Stasis chamber?” he asks enthusiastically, and Impulse smirks.

“You never know,” he says with a shrug, before turning and handing a pearl to Tango. 

He takes out some of the building bloodlust on the zombies that spawned in the tower (flamboyant, Bdubs calls it, to which Tango exclaims disbelievingly through laughter that it’s stone, one of the most basic building blocks). Impulse makes some joke about how Tango and Etho are competing for best accidental mob farm, and tries to hide how he relishes in the zombies’ demise. 

Monotonous work seems to help keep the murderous urges at bay, so Impulse volunteers to help Tango with the bubble elevator. Tango’s busy explaining to him what the plan is when Skizz drops into the water from above, splashing them both and spooking Tango. “Guy knows how to make an entrance!” Tango yelps, to Impulse and Skizz’s laughter.

“I hate to interrupt, but…!” Skizz makes his way over to Impulse, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Impulse! Do you have any ender pearls, buddy?”

“Oh yeah!” Impulse replies easily, and hands Skizz two ender pearls– the yellow name would need them. 

…not like they help much anyway, because not that much long later, Skizz falls off a ladder and dies. Again. There’s a brief discussion with Tango– how did it happen? Why did he die?– and then Skizz returns, yelling about how he doesn’t even know what happened. 

“Are you the boogey?!” he asks Impulse as they’re climbing back up the tower, and it takes everything Impulse has to keep moving up that ladder, to not freeze at the realization that Skizz thinks he did that on purpose. And, if he had, if he claimed it as a boogey kill– it would count! He could take this and the curse would break and…

No. He wouldn’t.

“I didn’t boogeyman you!” he insists over Skizz’s shouted accusations, “you fell on your own accord! Don’t you be blamin’ the boogey!”

“I’m gonna blame somebody!” Skizz spits, pulling himself up off the ladder. “What happened?! Why is this hole here?!” 

“It’s under construction–!” Impulse splutters– “I tried to tell you that!”

Skizz keeps yelling, and Tango’s laughter echoes from above. “Oh, I love the bickering,” he wheezes, and Impulse shoots him a glare. “Sorry, sorry, not helping.”

“I lost another hour, man!” Skizz cries. “I keep dying so much!”

Impulse gives him a weak smile, chuckling softly. “Okay, okay, but let’s talk. That was my fault, right? Because I’m the one that put the hole there?”

Skizz shakes his head instantly, dismissing Impulse’s concerns. “Nah, dude. Not at all. Of course it’s not your fault!” 

Impulse frowns, tilting his head slightly to the side. “But you just said it was,” he points out, and Skizz winces.

“Ehhh, heat of the moment sort of thing. Ya know?” 

Impulse laughs. “So if I happened to be boogey…” he trails off for a moment, testing the waters, before continuing. “...would that have counted?”

Something registers in Skizz’s brain, and he looks right into Impulse’s eyes. “I would’ve counted it. I really would’ve.” It’s an offer, almost. Skizz is giving him a way out of this. A way that Impulse has decided already not to take, but a way out nonetheless. “Are you the boogey, then?” Another offer. This time, it’s a chance to come clean and be honest with his teammates. 

Impulse hardly doubts that Skizz knows he’s boogey. They’ve been friends for decades now, and Skizz knows Impulse better than anyone else ever could. It’s part of the reason why Impulse is so glad Skizz is on his team and not an enemy; Skizz would be able to see right through him were he to lie or try and deceive anyone. 

“No,” Impulse practically breathes out, and tries not to wince when he sees the disappointment shine so briefly in Skizz’s eyes. “If I was boogey, I wouldn’t be going after you guys.” Relief swells in his chest when he sees Skizz relax and give him a slight smile. At least Skizz knows he can trust Impulse– the nice thing about knowing when someone is lying is that you know when they’re telling the truth as well. 

“I know,” Skizz tells Impulse, before weaving a little lie of his own. “I didn’t think you were boogey!”

Your ‘secret’ is safe. For now. 

They’re immediately distracted by Tango’s noisy complaints about how he built something wrong, his distressed sounds making Skizz laugh. Impulse joins in as Tango laments his mistake with a long, drawn out wail. Skizz’s laughter is infectious, and they quickly begin to tease Tango over the error. For the moment, things are fine, and Impulse almost forgets that he’s cursed. Doomed to either kill or die. 

Well, he’s doomed to die no matter what he does, but the game is all about delaying the inevitable.

When Skizz is gone, Impulse whispers the truth to Tango. He’s the boogey, and Tango laughs a little nervously at that before muttering that he’d figured, that question earlier had tipped him off. They joke about it for a moment before Tango confesses that he’s actually really nervous and Impulse is quick to reassure him that he has no plans of targeting team T.I.E.S. Tango nods, lowering his shield, and begins to figure out a plan. It ends up being quite simple– get TNT from Etho, then drop it from the sky and kill someone. 

They end up meeting Skizz on Skynet, high above the ground with a drop that would spell death for anyone unfortunate enough to fall. It’s dizzying, looking down at the ground, players like ants below them. So small. So fragile. 

Impulse wants to kill. 

“Why don’t you just do it?” he asks Skizz, voice quivering with barely held back excitement when his friend says he wants to blow someone up. Adrenaline is coursing through his veins, his blood turned to fire from the curse’s rage. 

Skizz can’t kill any yellows– that’s fine. Impulse will do it himself.

He lights the first block of TNT and watches it fall.

“...are you boogey, dude?”

Impulse is silent.

“You’re boogey.” 

“You knew that,” Impulse murmurs, and Tango and Skizz erupt into laughter.

“You are!” Skizz crows triumphantly, and Impulse can’t help but grin, expression turned maniac from the bloodlust. 

His eyes shine red.

The want becomes a need. 

“You’ll help me, right?” Impulse breathlessly asks his teammates, ignoring how his hands won’t stop trembling as he peers over the edge, gazing down at the drop that would sate his thirst, that would give him what he needs. All he has to do…

Skizz smiles, and he would’ve wrapped an arm around Impulse’s shoulders were they not in constant danger of falling to their deaths. “‘course, dippledop. What are friends for, if not to help a guy kill someone?”

…is kill. 

“Who do you want to kill?” Skizz asks, and Impulse considers his options. They’re allied with the clockers, and team T.I.E.S stays true to their allies. 

The bad boys, however…

“How about Joel?”

It’s perfect. He’s right beneath them, too caught up in his own duty of protecting Grian to pay attention to the sky. Impulse can hear his own heart beating, can feel the sweat dripping down his neck, can taste the blood as he bites down too hard on his cheek, can–

Footsteps that don’t belong to any member of T.I.E.S are picked up by ears far more sensitive than anyone else’s, and Impulse looks up to see Pearl running over Skynet with her diamond hoe in hand. “Pearl’s coming,” he warns, “Etho’s behind her.”

Now this…

This is his target.

It’s not every day the universe presents him with the perfect opportunity and means for revenge.

(Deep down, Impulse doesn’t really blame her for what happened in Double Life. But the boogey curse changes a person down to their very core, at least until they kill.)

“Let me shoot her,” Skizz whispers, and Impulse has to bite back a cry of frustration when he shoots. He misses, thankfully. Impulse has to do it, has to be the one to kill her. Otherwise, and this he realizes with growing certainty, he’s going to die. And soon. 

Pearl yelps as the arrow flies by her, wings fluttering behind her as she comes to a halt a few feet in front of them. “What’s going on here?” she demands, smiling, not taking her near death seriously whatsoever. 

“It’s not safe here,” Impulse tells her, and he knows the softness in his voice is only because of the bond they shared in their home server, only because he still considers her family. 

Family is not enough, and Impulse realizes this as bloodlust washes over him once more, the curse reaching its peak. He carefully steps forward, keeping an expression of concern on his face. Tango realizes what he’s doing and gives him the space to move around so that he’s face to face with Pearl. She still suspects nothing, her words lighthearted and posture relaxed as she banters with Tango and Skizz. 

It’s perfect.

Impulse takes the ground out from under her feet, and Pearl falls.

Maniacal laughter erupts from him as he watches her fall, listens to her rapidly fading scream of terror, and finally sees her die. “Boogey!” he cries, to the laughter and cheers of his teammates. “Done!” 

The curse recedes, Impulse taking a shaking breath as a weight is lifted off his shoulders. His hands still shake slightly as he continues to laugh, more out of relief now than from excitement and glee.

And Impulse…

Impulse killed Pearl. 

Maybe, in a world different from this one, he would've seen her fall and know she'd be caught on wings as strong as their owner's love for her. But not this time. Not in this world. 

As he drinks in the time– Pearl's time, ripped from her dead hands, quenching his thirst and soothing his parched throat– the vice grip of the curse over his heart fully lifts, and Impulse realizes what he's done. 

It's a necessary evil, he knows, and Pearl will forgive him eventually. She always does. But as he thinks back to the kill, back to Pearl's scream and broken, useless wings spreading in an attempt to catch her fall, Impulse feels... more than a little guilty. 

He doesn’t have time for guilt.

“Ohhh…” he breathes out, leaning against Skizz, “oh, that– I feel so much better. That feels so much better.”

Skizz helps support him, keeping him steady. “You all good, dippledop? Is the curse gone?”

Tango and Etho step closer as Impulse nods. Now that the bloodlust and adrenaline have faded away, Impulse feels tired, exhaustion settling in fast. “We’re all good,” he gets out, smiling weakly. “Though I think I’ve made a new enemy today.”

Tango waves him off with a grin. “Hey, whatever happens, team T.I.E.S will have your back.”

Skizz lets out a cheer, Etho nodding along to Tango’s words. “Yeah, man. Don’t worry about it. You just did what you had to do. No harm in that,” the masked man points out, and Impulse finally relents.

“All right, all right. Let’s get down from here, though– I still don’t trust myself up here.” 

Later, Impulse will apologize to Pearl and say that it wasn’t really him. It was the crazed boogeyman version of himself, his mind driven mad by the ever growing bloodlust and need to kill. He won’t truly mean it, and she won’t ever accept his excuse for an apology. 

In the end, that’s not what matters. The betrayal, the lies, the deceit and the fake apologies– none of it will matter at all. In the end, they will both fall. Nothing they do can stop the ever flowing river of time.

Time keeps ticking. Sand continues to fall through the hourglasses that measure their lives.

Impulse lives today, but tomorrow he will die.

[simply-ivanka]

Joe Biden and America’s Out-of-Control Spooks

The president should step aside rather than find out how the deep state would save his candidacy.

Wall Street Journal

By Holman W. Jenkins, Jr.

Thursday’s catastrophic debate can be a lifesaver for America. A different kind of 2024 election is still possible, starting with a rollicking contest of impressive Democratic governors for their party’s nomination. The outcome wouldn’t merely result in replacing an invalided Mr. Biden. It would allow Democrats to hire a new standard-bearer who doesn’t need to dig America ever deeper into the pit of lawfare, media lying and intelligence meddling to get himself re-elected.

This is the real issue now.

Not exactly the bipartisan wise person I’ve been hoping for, Bob Bauer will have to do. A former White House counsel under Presidents Obama and Biden, he has a timely new book, “The Unraveling.” Our democracy, he writes, endangers itself with its free fall toward win-at-all-costs cynicism, and the trouble doesn’t begin and end with Donald Trump.

He’s right, and only missing is 75% of his case since he doesn’t mention the collusion hoax or intelligence officials lying about the Hunter Biden laptop to help Mr. Biden get elected, episodes in which his own hands may not be entirely clean.

Now he has a chance to put his money where his mouth is. I see the same descent into reckless, zero-sum politics that he does. So does fund manager Ray Dalio, who told clients this week that the behavior of our parties is “threatening the rule of law as we know it and is bringing us closer to some form of civil war.”

What I don’t see is an underlying cause or dispute, such as slavery in the Civil War, of transcendent magnitude to explain it.

The tainting of our elections itself is what’s driving Americans apart.

This is where Mr. Bauer’s moment has arrived. He played Mr. Trump in Mr. Biden’s debate prep. He’s obviously trusted by the candidate. He could point out a few things about how we got into today’s mess, starting with former FBI Director James Comey’s ill-advised meddling in the Hillary Clinton email case to help another Democratic candidate. Play history backward without Mr. Comey and everything is different now. Mr. Trump likely loses in 2016. The collusion follies never happen, profoundly damaging half of America’s faith in Washington.

Mr. Biden is playing with the same fire all over again. He had every moral and political reason not to seek a second term—his age, Hunter Biden, the intelligence community’s unseemly lying to the American public to secure his first victory over Mr. Trump.

Almost anybody in the Democratic Party was a better bet to beat Donald Trump a second time, and Mr. Biden wasn’t a good bet to beat almost any Republican who might earn the GOP nomination instead of Mr. Trump.

But Mr. Biden insisted on being the candidate anyway, and we got the bubbling up of Trump prosecutions from dutiful Democratic prosecutors around the country. Whatever their merits, the charges had an overridingly political purpose: Return Mr. Trump to center stage and give Mr. Biden the one opponent he might reasonably hope to beat.

The miscalculation is now apparent. Mr. Biden’s own deterioration makes him the opponent even a scandalized and distrusted Mr. Trump could likely beat, possibly in a landslide.

What now? Ours was already in danger of becoming a government of siloviki, to borrow Russia’s word for intelligence operatives actively manipulating domestic politics. This subject our media continues to shy away from though academics are taking it up: the revolutionary and unprecedented activities of Mr. Comey and Obama intelligence veterans James Clapper and John Brennan starting in 2016 and again in 2020 with the laptop lie.

In my view, Mr. Biden is more blundering than calculating in this mess. He foolishly indulged his son over the years, getting himself in a situation in 2020 where his campaign had to be rescued from his family-created scandal by the shockingly disingenuous intervention of intelligence officials falsely fingering Russia for the laptop.

But ask yourself: Having stumbled into a dynamic where they might need a failing Mr. Biden to hold off a Trump restoration, how will our Clapperized elite prevent the outcome they have been telling themselves and us for eight years would be the end of America? Do you want to find out?

The 2024 election is already shaping up to be a deeply souring democratic experience for millions of Americans, the third such presidential election in a row. It can get a lot better or a lot worse depending on what Democrats decide to do, with Mr. Bauer hopefully whispering wisdom in Mr. Biden’s ear.

The next few days will be telling. If Mr. Biden remains in the seat, Mr. Trump may romp to a broad, unambiguous victory and mandate. Then you’ll want to hold your breath on the morning of Nov. 6.

[writingmeraki]

angel kisses.

a cho guesung drabble !

genre: fluff, just fluff.

pairing : cho guesung x gn!reader, bf!guesung, established relationship.

warnings : none really like one dirty but not even extreme joke and kisses.

author's note : here i present to you, an idea that rotted in my brain since a while, i don't even know if i like it but i just think guesung has pretty moles :( literally 2 am brain dump and i have an exam in like 7 hours 💀 anyways enjoy and let me know what you think ! ( not proofread or edited yikes)

word count : 0.9k - 1k ?

There was something you'd heard off the good ol forsaken tales of the internet, in the depths of the tweets which floated on your timeline,which actually was one of the few things you'd found to be very fascinating.

"People say moles are where your lover had kissed you the most in your past life."

Wow, that's actually really... beautiful

You first thought when you read of it.

Beauty marks were never really something you'd paid attention to, in your mind it didn't really seem significant enough but now with this newly found information, you also took upon notice of something.

Guesung's angel kisses.

(you preferred the word angel kisses over moles, at least Google told you angel kisses was another name for moles so you stuck to that)

You knew your lover was significantly beautiful, ethereal. He was truly one of the most handsome men you'd ever met and you were shocked actually as to how you managed to even make him be yours and vice versa.

But back to the point, that day as you'd been doing your regular routine of winding everything up to call it a day when Guesung had gotten back from his work.

You observed his face and blinked in surprise when you observed just how many beauty marks he had on his face. It wasn't like you did not know they exist, you of course did, but you never truly counted them, you just found them cute and your mind did just brush them off.

So as you both lay in your shared bed, cuddled closer than ever, limbs over each other, your head on his shoulder as you observed the left side of his face, mentally counting the angel kisses while he had been reading a book with his reading spectacles on.

And oh you mentally swooned every damn time he had those glasses on, they just suited him and fit his face so perfectly.

"Babe, what's up? A penny for your thoughts?" Guesung spoke as he put aside his book and directed his gaze towards you while yours moved to that one mark he had right on his bottom eyelid.

You gently chuckled as you noted this and spoke "You know i read about something today, more like found on a tweet but I think it's really cute."

Guesung looked at you expectantly, a curious look now grazing over his face as he lifted his brow.

"Well it's like you know the beauty marks we have on our body? You know the moles which are also called angel kisses ? Apparently, people say moles are where your lover had kissed you the most in your past life."

You said not being able to hide your grin at the thought of your other newly found information

"And you know i noticed something as well, you have angel kisses all of your face which probably means your past lover really loved your face huh?"

You lifted one of your fingers to trace over the respective moles your eyes found starting from the area right above his chin to the ones on his cheeks and then finally in your opinion the most beautiful one, the one on his bottom eyelid.

He couldn't help but smile at you as his eyes followed your movements, quietly listening to you and letting you do what you wanted and after you were done,

"Well then in this lifetime, I do hope my lover not only loves my face but also my whole body."

He mischievously spoke trying to imply something to which you gently smacked his chest, narrowing your eyes at him for trying to ruin the cute moment you were having.

"Shut up. You and your...words."

You whispered and tried to cover up your warm face by burying it in the crook of his neck as you also wanted your thoughts of his words implications to calm down to which he just laughed, his chest moving in the rhythm of his laughter and you could feel the subtle vibrations of it as though you were laughing as well.

As he calmed down from seeing your flustered state over just his words, a thought, just a small one seemed to have taken over the entire thought process over your mind and you wanting to be bold for once decided to let that intrusive thought win as you looked up at Guesung, biting your own lip at what you were about to do.

Guesung sat up more straight as you moved in front of him now on his lap, to which he then moved his hands to rest on your waist.

Softly placing your hands on his chest, you moved closer to his face and kissed one of his moles on his chin.

And then another on his cheek,

Then again a light peck on the one on his cheekbone.

His eyes had fluttered shut the moment you kissed the first one, he basked in the warmth that spread across his face and body which happened because of your kisses.

He loved the tingles which moved through every nerve in his body as you continued kissing his face at the random spots yet he knew where you were kissing.

And finally he absolutely loved the gentle kiss you pressed on his eye to which he could not resist the urge anymore as he fluttered his eyes open and pulled your very familiar yet homely lips to his, sending the same tingles he felt pulsating through your own body as you both giggled in your own little world of utter joy.

Never had he loved his angel kisses that day as he had when he realised that his one true love found the cutest of delights in them.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2022

links : main navigation !

[shadowofthelamp]

Creation

Summary: Bill decides he wants a kid with Ford, and when someone's given themselves to you entirely, you can do a lot with that.

Beatrice creation story! Rated T basically for a cut to black at the end/a brief non-descriptive use of magic making him feel good, but nothing explicit is shown and the kid is created by magic. Set in the 'muse' era shortly before everything spirals.

Warning: Mpreg

Wordcount: 1200

“So, smart guy!” Bill had been grinning. It was in the way the corners of his eyes pinched up, how his pulsing glow on each word was brighter. “You want to help me with something, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Ford floated easily towards him, gravity a mere suggestion that could be brushed aside here in the place where dreams become reality and reality twisted to the wildest fancies of the imagination. "Why wouldn't I? It has to be more interesting than watching the gnomes trying to capture bath squirrels again. The forest is starting to really settle down for winter."

“See, this is why I like you, Fordsie, always asking just the right questions!” Bill lightly tapped a finger on Ford’s nose, and a rush of lava spiraled down his nerves at the touch. “Now, you promised your body to me, and I’ve been using it plenty well- keeping you up and running past those silly human limits so we can get the really important work done, fixing the little stresses here and there, things like that. There’s something I’ve been wanting for eons, but no one else was good enough- not until you.”

“Bill, I-” Even without the limitations of the human body present in the projection, instinctively Ford found himself swallowing at the compliment. “Thank you. I’ll do my best to live up to whatever it is. So! What do you need? Does it have anything to do with the portal?”

“You’re the human vessel to help carry my- our genius to the masses, you already knew that, but I’ve got even bigger plans for this hunk of rock.” Bill snapped his fingers with another ‘smile’ (perhaps sharper than usual, eye a bit more narrowed?) and a deal-flame burned bright blue-

-Before he plunged it directly into Ford’s stomach.

The red-hot pain that ignited every soft organ below the lungs was almost enough to throw Ford back into the waking world, but Bill’s fingers merely curled inside of him as he whistled, rummaging around until a new pain of something swelling, growing, mixed with a wave of pleasure to counter the agony currently cauterizing his organs. Wave after wave of mixed sensations radiated out from the intrusion as a noise even he couldn't define slipped from his lips, and he clawed at the air with moans muffled into the infinity of the Mindscape.

“There we go, figured I might as well toss you a bone for dealing with this! Woo, this is going to be a lot to handle for an oily sweat beast meat-sack like you, but you’re a good human, you’ll manage.”

“Wh- what is?” Ford managed to stutter as Bill pulled his hand out, thick red with sparks of starlight dripping from the sleek black fingers all the way up to the elbow. Nothing existed in his mind but questions, even as the pain sucked into itself like a black hole and disappeared. “What did you do to- what did you put in there?”

“Why, our child, of course!”

There was a moment’s silence as Ford processed that before an actual record scratch sounded somewhere in the Mindscape, which just made Bill slap his knee and cackle.

“Oh, oh that is perfect timing. Your brain is a riot, Sixer, you know that?”

“Our child…?” Ford’s eyes had widened to the point that the lids had nearly receded into the skull, and one hand instinctively dropped to the still-oozing stomach, droplets of flickering silver mixing with deep maroon. “That can’t be-”

“Exactamundo, our child! Offspring, half-clone, spawn, whatever you want to call it!” Bill summoned his cane specifically to spin it and jab the end into Ford’s chest. “I’ve told you my whole tragic backstory-” (Ford’s eyes instinctively darted up to the hat and he felt a pang unrelated to the whole hand-shoving-through-guts thing) “-But I figured it was time to move on fully, starting a family of my own. And you’re the lucky candidate that I’d like to spend the rest of your life with! You’re smart, you’re a freak, you’ve already given me complete control over your body, and I wouldn’t mind a little rugrat running around with your cute little face on the part of the time they don’t look like me!”

“The part of the-” Ford shook his head to himself. That was not the thing to focus on, and his fingers curled around the stomach of his sweater tight enough that the threads unwound in the non-air. “Bill, I don’t have the- the- equipment for this!”

“And I’m a triangle, but do you really think I can’t make a few adjustments on that little problem? You wound me! Seahorses do it, it’s just a design flaw that humans can’t, really!” Bill rested his palm atop Ford’s knuckles. “I just needed to scoop out a little extra space- you don’t need all of those organs, so I just combined a few. They should work just as well!” He waved his free hand. “Besides, you said you wanted to do something for me. I’ve barely asked you for anything, and this is an honor!”

“Bill, I-” Ford’s free hand raised to tangle in his hair as the dream deity pressed up against his middle as if listening for a heartbeat already. “It’s not that I’m not flattered-”

“Then what is it, brainiac?” Bill tilted upward. “We’re already changing the world, and you’ve already pledged your life to me. We can be happy together. What’s one more string sewing us together? I picked you for a reason.”

He floated up, gripping a cheek in each hand as his single eye met both of Ford’s, sticky silver and ruby blood mixing together and oozing down the skin. “I already told you, I can’t imagine anyone else I’d want to do this with, and isn’t this what humans are meant to do, squirt out squirmy little genetic reproductions of themselves? Let’s face it, you’re never going to meet a girl, and this way you’ll change the world with the portal and by carrying the first new member of my species in a trillion years!”

His thumb stroked the skin as he tilted slightly, as if turning his head. “You’re the only one I’d want this with. Don’t you trust me, Fordsy?”

It may have been the leftover heat of the deal-fire from whatever Bill had done before, but Ford found his cheeks burning as his mouth fell open slightly, a puff of breath escaping.

“...Yes.” The truth of the admission came from deep within, even as doubts squirmed like pinned insects. “I- I have given myself body and soul, you know that.”

“Good boy.” Bill’s bloody fingers shifted, one thumb sliding between Ford’s wet lips, and Ford instinctively sucked, getting a pat with the other hand as liquid stardust slipped down his throat, igniting his stomach with a far more pleasurable flame that shot further south. “Now then! This is the fun part!”

Ford was about to ask, but Bill’s other hand had slipped beneath the neckline of his sweater at the same time his form began to crack along the bricks to spill free something ancient and starving, and there very quickly ceased to be any possible questions.

[slytherinshua]

HIT RESET

genre. fluff. comfort. warnings. jihoon had a bad day. he cuts his finger with a knife as well. food. kissing. not proofread. pairing. jihoon x reader. wc. 896. request. requested by 🌱 anon: for tws fluff with any of the 06's (an idea is: (dont have to write this specifically) maybe coming home after a long day? could be them or reader). a/n. went with jihoon for this :( he's so soft and sweet and lovely and omg i just wanna kiss his forehead and put him in my pocket.

“Ow! Darnit…” Jihoon held his hand up, examining the fresh cut on his finger with a wince. Why was everything going wrong today? He was late to work, brain foggy and frazzled the entire day. Usually he was good at picking up choreo quickly, but everything felt off that day. He was falling behind and getting tired so fast. He was mentally and physically exhausted by now, and hadn’t eaten anything since lunch at the company. Throwing together fried rice should’ve been an easy task. He’s not even sure how he managed to cut his finger while chopping veggies.

He rinsed out the wound, debating whether he should just give up on food altogether. You wouldn’t be happy about that, though. That was the other thing. You hadn’t been responding to his messages all day and he had no idea where you were. It was already getting late, but you still weren’t home. He had never realized how lonely the dorm felt when you weren’t there.

Just as he was searching through the cabinets for a box of bandaids, like magic, he heard the door open. He didn’t have high expectations. Given the luck today, he was almost 90% expecting it to be Dohoon walking through the door. But, when he peeked his head out of the bathroom door, he saw your face.

It was frankly incredible how quickly you made everything seem okay. The frustrating day was forgotten in an instant, and the cut on his finger was the last of his concerns. The only thing Jihoon cared about was falling into your arms as soon as possible.

You shared the sentiment, both of you pulling tight into a hug as soon as you dropped your bag. Jihoon’s scent relaxed your senses immediately as you buried your head into his hoodie. Placing a kiss to his neck as you pulled apart from the embrace, you smiled up at him.

“Missed you.” You mumbled, brushing aside some of his hair, thumb stroking over his cheek. He merely nodded and pulled you back into his arms with a long sigh.

“I’m so tired.” He whined into the crook of your neck, his arms holding you so tight that it was impossible to let go.

“Did you eat yet? I got takeout but it might be a bit cold… I’m sorry I took so long to get home, there was some delay—” Your explanation was cut off before you could finish, by Jihoon’s lips.

His kiss was desperate, hours of frustration bubbling down had finally cooled and then burst into overwhelming affection instead. He couldn’t contain it, he just loved you. How you always knew exactly what he needed, always apologized even when things weren’t in your control, and how you were always looking out for him. You always made everything better in a way no one else could. Jihoon knew he would’ve cried if you had talked on for any longer, so he took quicker action to stop you from making him fall any deeper in love than he already was. He was down bad, but maybe being down even worse wasn’t such a terrible thing.

You giggled when Jihoon pulled away, cupping his cheeks and pinching them softly. You warmed up the food that had gotten cold on the bus ride as Jihoon watched you from the corner of the kitchen like a little boy watching a magic show. You cleaned up the vegetables he had left out, washed the cutting board and knife, and got out bowls for both of you all at the speed of light.

“Did you cut your finger on the knife?” You asked, noticing the bandaid on his finger as you set down the bowls of food. He nodded, and you shook your head fondly, “I told you that you shouldn’t try to cook while your head isn’t clear…” 

“Why didn’t you text me today?” Jihoon pouted, feeling a lot better now that he was eating and you were right next to him. The entire day there had been this empty dull ache from your absence, and he hadn’t been able to get the feeling out of his head.

“I forgot to charge my phone last night. It was dead the whole day.” You cleared up, an apologetic smile on your face. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Good. I missed you terribly and Youngjae wouldn’t stop making fun of me for it. He said I was ridiculously in love with you... which is definitely true.”

“I hope I made up for it. I love you too… just in case you weren’t sure.” You looked up at the ceiling, suddenly feeling a little shy at your confession. It had been a while since you started dating Jihoon, of course. But he had always been so open with his feelings, while it took some courage for you to share how you felt. Acts of service was always your preferred love language, and Jihoon knew this well. He always felt loved by you, but every so often, it felt really nice to hear you say it.

“You made up for it completely.” He assured you, biting back a smile at just how cute you were. Despite the rocky starts to the day, Jihoon’s mind was in complete bliss by the time he went to bed. He was more in love than ever before.

↳ tws taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @seunghancore,, @sobun1est,, @talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy,,

@50-husbands,, @hursheys

[yuesya]

in cursed twin AU, how does Satoru react towards Yuta, since he has a cursed spirit of his own? albeit Shiki is a bit of a different situation and is well-behaved compared to Rika, and has more clarity than Rika

it could also be argued that - putting aside that no one except Suguru has lived to tell the secret - Satoru is comparatively more fucked up than Yuta in this regard because he’s willingly housing Shiki for an unforeseen future inside his body, and that’s considered messed up in the head, kind of? because imagine you have the option of putting Shiki to rest somehow, letting her die in peace, but no — for one, Shiki is well behaved and there’s no problems so far in their situation, so there’s no reason for Satoru to just up and do that. shiki isn’t suffering, isn’t too insane, and by possessing him she can eat and see and experience things for her own (even though shes a bloodthirsty little thing)

so gg Satoru be the first one to delete people who denies his sister this second chance (and he already did lmao)

for two, why should Shiki be the one to die? when it was the fault of fucking Gojo Clan and their father that she ended up like this? it’s not fair, his sister died because of some fucktards deciding she wasn’t worth anything and she has to be the one to pay the price, to give up in this lifetime, to die in order her to be in peace? Shiki deserves to live and have a chance to look at and experience this world, and Satoru is making sure of it even if it has to be through using him

In a way, Gojo Satoru really does love Shiki, and I want to see how a Satoru who has someone he loves to the point of, well, housing them inside his body for almost all his life like in Cursed Twins AU, reacts to seeing Yuta and Rika.

Footsteps sound clearly upon the cold stone ground, growing closer and closer, but Yuta can't find the strength to raise his head. Instead, he curls inwards, shrinking into himself where he's sitting on the uncomfortable wooden chair in his prison.

And, there's no doubt that this is a prison; ofuda seals cover the entirety of the enclosed chamber, and the only source of light is from the flicker of yellow lanterns scattered across the ground, arranged in a strange pattern. Yuta does not recognize any of it, as strange and scary as everything is, but instinct tells him that this is a trap, a cage.

... Good. He deserves it. He deserves to be locked up like this forever, because he-

"All of this is a bit overkill for just a kid, isn't it?"

"This was the best I could argue for, while you were still out of the country. It was either this, or immediate execution." Oh. Oh, Yuta recognizes this voice. "Hello, Okkotsu-kun. Have you been well?"

It's only polite to look at the person who's speaking to you. Yuta doggedly manages to summon up the strength to raise his head.

"... Hello, Geto-san," he whispers. The man who'd subdued Rika-chan and brought him in without any further bloodshed offers him a reassuring smile, then gestures towards his companion.

"Okkotsu-kun, this is my friend, Gojo Satoru. He's the one I mentioned before, who I think might be able to offer a unique insight into your situation. Satoru, this is-"

The white-haired man makes a clearly disgusted sound. Yuta automatically flinches, because there's no doubt that it's directed towards him.

"A master-servant bond, really?" he says, obviously disapproving. Yuta has no idea what the man is talking about.

"Okkotsu-kun is not a sorcerer," Geto-san says sharply. "He's lived a civilian life all this time, Satoru. Remember what I told you? He and Orimoto-chan are childhood sweethearts who accidentally cursed each other; neither had any idea of what they were doing-"

"No, the boy's the one who did all the cursing here, Suguru." There's a strange flicker in the white-haired man's striking blue eyes, crystalline blue shifting to abyssal darkness and back again. But it must be a trick of the light. Human eyes don't work that way. "But for something that was unintentional... hmm..."

Geto-san sighs tiredly. "Your recommendation, then?"

"... You're asking for my opinion? I think... ultimately, it depends on what the two of them want out of their relationship," Gojo-san shrugs. "Although that might be a little difficult to hammer out on the girl's side, given her current state."

Geto-san frowns lightly, a hand coming up to rest on his chin in thought. "Is there a way to make her lucid again?"

"Well, it's not like there's a documented process for this or anything, but with the circumstances being what they are, I think we might have a few ideas," Gojo-san gives him a sharp grin. Then, he turns towards Yuta. "Hey, so. If it turns out that there's no helping your Rika-chan anyways and we can't actually improve her state any, then what are you going to do?"

"What am I...?" Yuta blinks, confused. It's precisely because he doesn't know what to do, because he doesn't want Rika-chan to hurt anyone anymore, that he's sitting here in this prison cell unresistingly. That he's accepted the fact that he's going to be executed, because otherwise... otherwise...

The white-haired man shoots him a distinctly unimpressed look. "It's not that complicated a question, kid."

"I..." Yuta swallows roughly. "I don't... I don't want Rika-chan to hurt anyone."

"Cute, but that's not what I asked," Gojo-san says. "Are you just going to try and kill yourself again?"

"Satoru, that's not-!"

"Let him answer the question, Suguru."

The scary man's eyes flick downwards briefly towards where a deformed hand-knife is hidden behind Yuta's chair. A knife that Rika-chan had destroyed when Yuta had attempted to... wait, how does he even know that?

But the question he'd asked... Yuta doesn't...

...

Yuta doesn't want to hurt anyone. And, he doesn't want Rika-chan to hurt anyone, either. The guilt of living like this, causing nothing but death and destruction wherever he goes, accomplishing nothing but bringing pain to other people's lives... that's not okay, and it makes bile rise in the back of his throat just thinking about it.

"You're the one who cursed her, even if it was accidental," Gojo-san tells him mercilessly. "So what is it that you want to do?"

Let's get married when we're older, Yuta.

We'll be together forever and ever!

That's a promise.

...

"I... I want to help Rika-chan."

"And if you can't?"

Yuta's hands clench into fists. "You said... you said that you might have a way. And, if it's my fault that Rika-chan is like this, then I... I have to do something about it."

"Because it's your responsibility?"

"Because I care about Rika-chan!"

The heavy imposing pressure in the air suddenly lifts; Yuta falls forward, gasping. He hadn't even noticed it creeping up on him-

Geto-san clicks his tongue. "You went a little overboard here, Satoru."

"Yeah, we'll take him on," the white-haired man ignores the comment and grins. "Help me draw up the papers? I know that Maki and the others will be just thrilled to have a new student joining them."

"... Draw them up yourself, I'm not your secretary."

"Aww, don't be like that, Suguru-"

[strangermarvelss]

the pain of letting you go- e.m (pt 8)

Pairing: Ex!Eddie Munson x Ex!AFAB!Reader

Summary: after eddie’s revelation, you’re left reeling and isolating yourself until robin and steve show up at your door

Warnings: angst, steve and robin being great friends, name calling, eddie is a dick (he isn’t in this chapter, but he is still a dick)

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: part eight of the series is here! thank you to everyone for the continued support! reminder: if the topic is sensitive for you, please do not read. enjoy! :) -sava

series masterlist

The week flew by, much to your distaste. You’ve never been so quick and silent with child swapping, all but shoving Christopher out the door and slamming it right behind him. You felt like an ass for putting your child in the middle like that, but having to make any kind of conversation with Eddie after what happened just three nights ago was not something you wanted at all. You spent the past two nights wallowing in self pity once again, the same pain living in your chest that you felt when the separation first started. Hell, maybe even worse than when it began.

You felt as if weren’t enough for Eddie, he certainly made that clear with his untimely confession. Ditching the suburban family life for the rockstar life he always dreamed about didn’t surprise you as much as you wanted it to. It was the thing he talked about most in high school, and with the recent success Corroded Coffin was gaining, you thought maybe he’d get one of the things he used to have his heart set on. Your naive high school self used to think the other part of his heart was still set aside for you, but hearing that he just cared about his reputation and felt insecure about his sexual experiences made that thought fly out the window.

To say you weren’t spiraling a little after the revelation would be a downright lie. Thinking back on the whole 8 years you spent with Eddie Munson made you question nearly everything about yourself as the words he said replayed in your head. Were you not as good at sex as you thought you were? Was that all he cared about and didn’t crave any kind of emotional attachment anymore? Why was he was quick to jump into a relationship with Shirley if he just wanted more sexual experiences under his belt? Was it all just a you problem? Were you too clingy? Too emotional? Too much to handle? Or were you just used goods he no longer wanted to deal with?

It’s been a little over 24 hours since Eddie came to pick Christopher up for the weekend and you refused to leave your spot on the couch, surprised you managed to get out of bed at all. All you’ve eaten today was a packet of crackers and three grapes, not having to put on a front for your child since he was no where in sight for the weekend. You had no desire to eat or do much of anything, the gut-wrenching and almost sickening feeling overwhelming your sense. You almost felt as if you were broken beyond repair, maybe the drunken words you told Eddie weeks ago were right: you had your one true love and you’d never get that again.

You stare at the blank tv in front of you as you lounge on the couch, legs crossed and sitting up right as you look at the black screen. Part of you wanted to escape in the distraction of entertainment, but you couldn’t be bothered to reach the few inches for the remote. You just wanted to stay frozen in your place, but the sound of your front door closing makes you jump.

Robin pokes her head around the corner, sending you a cheerful smile as she walks into full view, before rushing into the bathroom.

“You’re lucky I have a spare key Robin, otherwise your tiny bladder would’ve cost you-oh hey Y/N. Where were you? We’ve been banging on the door for like twenty minutes,” Steve says, peering around the corner and flashing you a smile. You stare at him blankly for a moment before running a hand across your face, a tiny amount of anger consuming your body and wanting to just tumble out of you.

“What are you guys doing here?” You spit out, ignoring his question and turning your attention back towards the blank screen. Steve’s eyes follow yours as he notices the blank television screen, before turning back to you with a worried expression before shaking out of it and going into the kitchen.

“We made plans on Tuesday to hangout today. Do you not remember?” He yells out from the kitchen, the sound of clinking bottles following his words. You roll your eyes and rub your eyes with your hands, a lazy attempt to conceal the redness present in them as well as the puffiness on the soft skin that surrounded them.

You had completely forgot about the plans, the events of Wednesday night taking precedent in your head and letting any prior commitments and thoughts escape you. You still managed to keep up with hanging with Steve weekly, but with the pity party you had be throwing for yourself over the past few days, all you wanted was for the both of them to leave and let you wallow all alone.

“Shit, I guess I forgot to cancel,” you mutter out, sinking back into the weight of the couch and bundling up with the closest blanket, trying to hide from your friends. Robin bounces out the bathroom and plops on the couch next to you, making an aggravated sigh fall from your lips because of her actions. 

Steve leans against the archway of the kitchen, exchanging a puzzled look with Robin as they take in your figure. Your hair was unkempt and you were still in your pajamas, which wasn't something you usually did on the weekends due to your busy schedule of chores and other duties. This, plus not answering the door and forgetting about the plans you all made worried them? It filled them with concern. 

“Dude? Is everything okay? You’re like, really off today. I mean Iooove you, but you kind of stink and you're not this...off,” Robin asks, bringing a hand to rest on your shoulder but you shrug it off. 

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit. You know we aren’t going to let that slide, so will you please talk with us?” Steve says, leaving his place from the kitchen and crouching in front of you, slowly bringing his hands up and resting them on your hands. You don’t fight him, accepting them contact and letting a frown work its way onto your face as tears prick at the backs of your eyes. 

“Eddie uh…he came over on Wednesday,” you begin to say, your voice giving out towards the end as you recall the events. You thought the night would be fine, especially after letting him back in momentarily and surrendering your inhibitions by letting him fuck you again and basking in all the feelings that the pleasure let you experience. But the words of just why he wanted to break up your family kept playing in your mind, bringing you nothing but doubt and insecurity as you continue to look back on the relationship you once had and question every move you made.

“Did he hurt you? Give me the word and I’ll go knock the daylights out of that freak,” Steve says, his hands tensing up as he spoke. You knew Steve was a protective guy, it was something you admired about him, regardless of his ability to continue a fight after being knocked down so many times. You shake your head at him, taking a moment to gather your thoughts and control your breathing before speaking up again. Robin’s hand makes it way to your shoulder again, the hesitation evident even in your peripheral . But you accept his contact as well, not shaking her away this time.

“No, he didn’t hurt me. At least not physically. It’s just…h-he told me why he left me,” you finally let out. You take another moment to control you breathing, feeling your lip quiver as a stray tear rolls down your cheek. “H-He said Gareth made some stupid c-comment about how he’s ever o-only been with one girl, w-which is me, i-in his entire life. S-So he got insecure and asked for the s-separation so he could…see other people.”

Steve’s jaw is hanging wide open when you finally make eye contact with him again, the words being easier to say when you looked to your lap in comfort. You could see in his beautiful brown eyes how much pain he wanted to cause Eddie while sympathizing with you at the same time. You weren’t someone who harped on anything too often, being pretty carefree and optimistic towards the future instead of focusing on the past, and Steve knew this thanks to the history you two share. But something inside you knew he could see your front breaking, just from your appearance and how you talked about just what Eddie said to you. It wasn’t something that you just move on from. He practically called you used goods and tossed you aside like he was a kid of Christmas morning, seeing his new toys and abandoning you for those.

“What an absolute dick,” Robin blurts out, breaking the silence that had fallen in the living room. All you do is nod in response, slipping one of your hands out of Steve’s grasp to wipe away the tears that were falling down your face. Steve switches positions, sliding on the couch next to you and wrapping his arms around you, which you immediately melt into and feel the emotions begin to worsen. Robin is quick to join in on your hug, knowing you needed all the comfort you could get. They both rub your shoulders as you begin to weep, silent tears and shaking shoulders consuming your body.

“I just-I just feel like I’m not g-good enough anymore. Not for h-him or for anyone,” you tell them, a sob escaping you and letting your head fall onto Steve’s shoulder, his hand snaking up to cradle your head as Robin rubs your back in such a soothing manner. You let your tears soak Steve’s shirt, feeling the salty warm pool begin to form beneath your cool skin as you sniffle and try to calm down slightly, struggling for a full breath. “I-I mean, I just feel so…broken.”

Steve’s heart drops at your words, hearing the utter despair in your voice as you continue to weep in his shoulder. He shares another look with Robin, tears brimming her own eyes at seeing you so miserable. This was way worse than when Eddie initially asked to separate, with Steve being there as a first hand witness the night it happened. He soothed your worries and helped you calm down, but your agony tonight was worse than it was at the beginning of the summer. He cared about you in a way more than a friend is supposed to, even if the two of you haven’t really talked about what happened that night between you in your kitchen merely weeks ago. But he didn’t hold it against you, because you told him your limits and your thoughts clearly, and he was just going to accept that. The last thing you needed was to be bombarded with questions about love and pressured into a new relationship when you weren’t ready.

“Y/N, hey, can you please look at me?” Steve asks softly, leaning away from you ever so slightly to try and get a better look at you. With a nod, you break away from his comfortable shoulder, creating a space between you and looking him in his eyes, the tears sticking to your bottom lashes flooding your vision a bit. 

“I want you to listen to me loud and clear, okay? You are not broken, not even in the slightest. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for Munson’s stupid actions. He’s the one who made the idiotic choice of letting the best girl in Hawkins slip through his fingers, so don’t even for a second think there is something that you could have done to keep him around, because if he’s going to treat you this badly, he doesn’t deserve you,” he tells you, his eyes looking deep into yours with a mix of intensity and sincerity. You smile, leaning into one of the hands that had come to rest on your head as he spoke to you, rubbing it gently as you let the few tears you had left in you drop onto your soft cheeks.

“Yeah, and if Eddie wants to waste his time going around to a bunch of randos who are literally not as good as you, then it is his loss. You’re a hot mama and deserve to find someone who is going to recognize everything amazing about you,” Robin chirps up behind you, making you whip around to meet her gaze. She grabs your hand and rubs it gently, tilting her head down to really look you in the eyes. “We love you so much Y/N, and we’ll always be here for you. Please don’t shut yourself down and close yourself off from us, okay? You are so strong and we need you to be that way. Not just for us, but for little man too.”

Hearing the words your best friends were throwing at you felt like a breath of fresh air you didn’t know you were seeking out. Having been choking on your sadness and letting it consume your entire being, but the kind words and reassuring phrases they were cooing at you allowed you to inhale the happiness you'd been missing. The genuine love they had for you and the deep meaning behind their words left you feeling happy for a change. Knowing that you had them in your corner in any kind of situation, but specifically this one, helped your aching heart. 

The more you let their words sink into your brain, the more you realize they’re right. You were not to blame for Eddie’s actions, nothing you did during your relationship should be turned against you, because you did nothing but love and protection Eddie Munson for 8 years of your life. 8 years wishing nothing but the best for the family you made together and the way he repays you for that is tearing your family apart and sleeping with other people? You wouldn’t let the blooming insecurity grow any longer, wanting to shut that down and remind yourself of the words your friends told you: you aren’t broken, you are enough, you’re a hot mama who deserves the best and to be treated with kindest and most sincere attitudes imaginable.

But you also knew that the insecurity wouldn’t go away in an instant, it was never that simple. You still feel the tightness swimming in your stomach, clenching at the small negative thoughts of Eddie’s true intentions, not really coming to terms that he wanted to separate from you just due to wanting to gain more sexual experience and live his true rockstar life. But you can’t control his actions, only your own and the thoughts that accompany them, and that is just something you'll continue to remind yourself when the bad thoughts begin to surface. You deserve better. You deserve to be properly loved.

Turning back to your friends, you let a small smile work its way onto your face as you pull them in for a tight hug. You weren’t exactly sure how you were able to lock down some of the best friends that life could have thrown your way, but the warm feeling taking over your heart reminded you that your reality wasn’t all bad, and all the people who you truly loved in your life loved you back, and that’s what you needed right now. Not to think about your asshole ex any longer, you wouldn’t let him ruin your night.

“I really appreciate you guys, you know that right?” You let out, your voice raw and weak from the sobs and screams that consumed you from the past few days. Steve brings his hand to your knee and rubs it gently, nodding his head as he looks you in the eyes. A small shiver went up your spine at the combination of eye and physical contact from him, sending him a genuine smile as you felt a bit of heat traveling up to your cheeks.

“You two need to just get a room already, geez,” Robin blurts out, scoffing and rolling her eyes and she pulls away and stands in front of you. Turning to Steve, you exchange a look, his eyes wide as he a mischievous smile creeps onto his lips that keeps him from laughing, you being quick to match is expression. Robin lets out an exaggerated, but honest, gasp, covering her mouth and she looks between the two of you, hair whipping in the most animated, but most authentically Robin way.

“I’m sorry, did I fucking miss something?” She nearly screams, her voice raised as the curiosity overtakes her, taking a seat on the edge of the coffee like she tended to normally do. You slap your legs, looking at them and ignoring her puzzled look as you stand from your stop, wiping your face a bit more to get rid of the puffiness, even if you knew it wouldn’t go away like that.

“So who wants a beer?”

[gabriel-xander]

I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 6

[Scaramouce x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 6: Bitches on Me Left and Right

You furrow your brows in your reflection, putting in the red dangling earring that Childe had given you. You tug at the fluffy collar around your neck and sigh heavily. You're going to ditch the coat. It's your first day in Liyue and the weather is already getting to you.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Who the fuck is that? Aside from La Signora's direct subordinates, no one should be coming to get you. And you shouldn't have any visitors either.

You grab your mask from the nightstand next to the mirror, making sure it's secure on your face.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

You hold back the sigh and drop your coat onto the bed and rush to the door. You swing the door open and automatically stand up straight.

"Good mor-NAOOO!!"

You throw your mask off and throw your arms around Kazuki's neck, pulling that fucker into a hug. You feel his arms go around your waist, squeezing the life out of your. Your best friend chuckles and sways you both side to side.

"You should've told me you were coming. I thought you were working for the Knave for the time being."

"I-I had no time to write to you, the Fair Lady suddenly requested my recruitment," You pulled away from the pretty man, holding him at arm's length with a grin, "Oh, Nao! I missed you so much! Did your hair get longer? We should trim it. You wanna have lunch with me? Show me around Liyue! Oh! How is Lord Childe? Are you two getting along? How have your missions been? Do you think-"

Kazuki cups your face with both hands, and leans forward to kiss your forehead.

You stop immediately, your shoulders relax and you allow yourself to enjoy the moment. He pulls away after a few seconds, wrapping his arms around you again and hugs you close. You just sink into the embrace, smiling to yourself and relishing in the familiar touch of your best friend.

"We have a few hours to ourselves, let's go get something to eat first, yeah?"

You nod.

"There's a few places I want to take you. My favorite place is the Liuli Pavillion, but Xinyue Kiosk is really good too. And maybe later tonight, we can head to Third-Round Knockout for drinks."

"I don't know any of those places, so I'll trust your judgment on this one."

Kazuki pulls away and smirks very slightly, "Come on, let's get going."

————

Kazuki takes you straight to Liuli Pavillion for breakfast, ordering a lot of Liyue dishes that he thought you'd like since you're a bit hesitant to try new foods you're unfamiliar with. They didn't have forks or spoons though, only "chopsticks", which kind of sucked ass.

Kazuki was already a master of them, making fun of you as you struggled to get food in your mouth. You felt so bad though, he ordered so much food but you barely managed to finish one and a half of the seven dishes he ordered.

"No matter," Kazuki simply said, "We'll box this and take it back to where you're staying."

"You're too frivolous with your Mora."

"You're just jealous that I make more money than you."

"Yes I am, and I'll die mad about it."

"Hm."

Fucker.

After that, he takes you around the city to look around, buying you a few trinkets and clothing if you spend a second too long looking at it. Kazuki is too eager when it comes to buying you things, since that's his love language–both platonically and romantically. And Kazuki? He loves you very much, and you love him just the same.

However... Kazuki was insistent on carrying everything for you, but he started buying you too many things that you also have to carry. And not is not an issue either, but both of your arms are getting full and supposedly he wants to take you somewhere else?

"Uh, Nao... I-I don't need that, I swear! My eyes just looked at it for a second!."

"Nonsense. You like the color, don't you?" Kazuki hums, holding up a skirt that, yes, was very pretty in color. "How much is it, boss?"

"Naooo!" You whine, your arms beginning to get sore from carrying so many things.

"Well, if it isn't [Y/n]!"

Ah fuck berries!!

You turn to the voice with a tired smile. "Lord Childe! It's good to see you! Ah, and... you are?"

You don't know if it's good or bad luck that Childe managed to find you. You knew he was still in Liyue, but you thought maybe at the moment he was dealing with his Harbinger duties? Walking next to him was Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. Well, not really dark since his skin was pretty pale. But his overall color scheme was browns and golds.

"I am Zhongli, a close associate of Childe," The man greets politely with a smile, "I assume you are as well?"

...You are as well what?

Oh!

"Yeah, I guess you can say that. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Zhongli. You can call me [Y/n]," You nod.

You didn't understand why he'd think you're close with Childe, but you guess it's because of your matching earring with the Harbinger. You don't know if that warrants an assumption that you two are close, but you guess it doesn't really matter.

"What are you doing here in Liyue, [Y/n]? Is your boss here too?" Childe asks.

"Uh, he's-"

"-Perhaps we should talk somewhere else and not hold up the stall," Kazuki cuts in, "Not to mention, I believe [Y/n] is getting tired from carrying all this. I should escort her back to where she's staying so we can drop this off."

Ah, you know that look. To outsiders, his blank expression is one that never changes no matter what emotion he feels. However, yOu'Re NoT lIkE tHe OtHeR gIrLs and you notice every slight change in his expression and body language. You can read that he was actually feeling quite annoyed that his alone time with you is likely coming to an end.

"Oh, why don't we help you with that?"

As Childe decides this all on his own, he takes the bags from your arms, and the boxes you were holding. He was having a much easier time than you were, and Zhongli even took it upon himself to take a few things from Childe to help him too.

You smile at Kazuki apologetically, taking some things from his arms now that you had more help. He narrows his eyes slightly, getting more irritated as the second passes.

"Lead the way, [Y/n]," Childe smiles.

And lead the way you did. You take your gaggle of friends (Can you call Childe and Zhongli your friends? You feel that's a bit unprofessional and a bit presumptuous of you to assume you're all already friends) to the place you, La Signora, and the other Harbingers under her command are staying. Though as you get closer, Childe seems to light up.

"Oh, you're staying here?" Childe speeds up a bit to walk closer to you, "What a coincidence! My troops and I are staying here as well!"

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!

So not only are you blessed that Kazuki is in the same building as you, you're also cursed that Childe has easy access to you too now!

You'd be more open to being Childe's friend if you weren't super cautious of ALL the Harbingers. He seems really nice, and expressed that he desires to be your friend, but that doesn't suddenly make you more trusting.

"I should warn you, Lord Childe. I'm not here for Lord Scaramouche, I'm here with the Fair Lady," You inform, walking up the stairs to get to your floor, "So you should do your best to avoid her... Don't tell her I said that."

"La Signora?" Childe frowns, "But why are you with her? You're Scaramouche's subordinate, aren't you? Did something happen?"

You shrug, "My Lord was sent somewhere, but that's all I know since he refused to tell me anything more. He said he could be gone for a while, so in the meantime he ordered me to assist any other Harbinger so that my skill isn't going to waste. The only person he prohibited for me to help was the Doctor, so there's that."

You're too busy to not trip over the stairs to see the look on Childe's face. Maybe if you were paying more attention, you would've noticed how... guilty he looked when you mentioned the Balladeer was sent somewhere.

"So that's why I'm here with La Signora. Before this, I was with the Knave."

"I heard she's a stone cold bitch," Kazuki hums, "I hope that wasn't too unbearable."

"Ooh, watch your tone in the presence of another Harbinger," You snicker, "Lord Childe might rat you out."

"Ah!" The ginger makes an exaggerated noise as if he was offended, "Comrade! I would do no such thing!"

"It's true. Lord Childe's favorite pastime is to shit talk-"

"Ah-ha ha ha! Ah, Kazuki...!" The Harbinger clears his throat, sending a not very subtle message to keep the other quiet.

"Yeah, yeah," You hum, walking down the short hall until you get to your door, "So, Mr. Zhongli, what do you do for a living? I don't think I've had the chance to ask yet."

Appreciating that he could be part of the conversation now, the brunette offers you a smile even if you couldn't see it, "I am a consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. I perform all manners of ritual for burying the dead, along as funeral rites for the adepti."

"Oh wow! That's pretty serious stuff. And that's really admirable too, you know? It can't be easy being surrounded by death all the time, and having being the one to send them off too? Your work is very important to a lot of people, Mr. Zhongli. I hope you take a lot of pride in that."

Zhongli smiles a little more genuinely at your words, "I'm glad you understand and see the importance as well. It's nice to meet and talk to someone who can appreciate what I do... No offense, Childe."

"Wha–Well, I didn't take offense until after you said that!"

"Me personally, sir," Kazuki leans towards the ginger, "I wouldn't let that slide."

"Do NOT be an instigator, Kazuki!" You laugh.

Putting your shit in the room didn't take too long, as you told them you'll properly put it all away later tonight. You did forget that Kazuki plans on keeping you busy for a long time, so it might actually have to wait until tomorrow morning. But that's tomorrow's problem.

Today? It's your day off and you might as well spend it with some friends while you can.

————

05 . 14 . XXXX

My Dearest Scaramouche,

...

...

Ha ha! I bet that got your attention, didn't it? Since I've never addressed my letters to you that way; it's always been "To My Lord" and all that. I thought the change would be funny, and it would keep you on your toes.

Let's see.

It's been about five months since I've last seen you, five months since you were sent away by Lord Pierro. I wonder... I'll just be frank. I am, admittedly, getting worried about you.

I've been told my letters are getting to you, but I haven't received anything back. And if you had died, I CERTAINLY would've gotten word about it, too. But that might be very presumptuous of me to assume that you'd even write back. We're not remotely close, or friends for that matter, so you have no reason to respond. But you ARE my boss, and it's always been my duty to protect you.

How have you been? I hope you haven't been through too much, I know how much work inconveniences you very easily. How are the people who accompanied you? I heard you only brought along two other people; are you treating them well? Are they treating YOU well?

I've done as you said, helping the other Harbingers, staying clear of Il Dottore, doing my best, not letting my skill go to waste.

...

Do you remember all those months ago when we investigated those Treasure Hoarders? Noah, Ivan, and Isaac? And when we got the information we needed from them, you...

I think about them a lot. You had the mercy of allowing me to look away and not help you bury them, but I still carry the burden knowing that we had killed them. That YOU killed them and I did nothing about it. I always took it for granted, how you always let my hands stay clean, how you never forced me to look.

... I've seen a lot of fucked up shit when I was working with the other Harbingers, especially the Knave. They made me do horrible things too. Well... normal things expected of a Fatui, I think.

For the past month, I've been working with the Fair Lady, and we've been residing in Liyue. I don't really do much. She makes me do paper work, help out at the Northland Bank, keep tabs on Lord Tartaglia and Mr. Zhongli of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. She hasn't told me why, but I honestly think she might just be nosy. Don't tell her I said that, okay?

Kazuki has been a little more... reserved? I don't know what happened to him while we were separated, but I hope one of these days, he can open up to me and tell me what's happened to him. He's my best friend, you know? He's my person. Did you have someone like that before? DO you have someone like that?

I'm getting a little sleepy now, so I'll wrap this up. I know you're getting these, but I have no idea if you're reading them or not. If you don't, then that's fine. At least then you wouldn't have to read all my embarrassing thoughts.

And if you do...

I hope you're okay, and I hope I can see you again soon. Please take care.

Your faithful servant,

[L/n]

————

"Hmph..." Scaramouche smiles tiredly, "What an idiot..."

He sighs through his nose and folds the paper up, tucking it away in his open kimono for safe keeping with the rest of the letters. He looks down at the two spots near his camp. Two half-assed graves that he made almost immediately when he arrived.

The two that had accompanied him survived the best they could, but he's not completely surprised that they have died after a few years. After all, they're only human.

It's moments like these where he's glad he fought tooth and nail to convenience Pierro to let you stay behind with the other Harbingers instead of letting you accompany him.

In your letter, you said it's been about five months since he had departed, but to him it's been nearly three centuries. Time works differently in the Abyss. If he had to make the estimate, one day to you is about one year for him. So by that measurement, you've been sending him letters once every two weeks, but he's only been receiving them once every 40 years or so.

He's actually very grateful for your letters. It helps him keep track of time, helps him stay somewhat sane, helps him remember that it hasn't ACTUALLY been 300 years, helps him not feel THAT lonely...

It helps remind him you haven't died, and that you're still waiting for him.

You're still waiting for him...

Scaramouche stands up and works to put out the fire.

He can't send you anything back even if he wanted to, the only papers he has are for his reports back to Pierro and he's already running out. You'll just have to wait for him for a little while longer.

For now, he'll do the best he can to hurry up. It's not that he particularly cares about you, but he supposes he should repay you with his presence.

It's the least he can do in return for all your letters.

Scaramouche leaves his camp with a slight smile.

He can't let himself die, he's extremely looking forward to your next letter, after all.

[verai-marcel]

Your Hearth Is My Home (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x Female Reader, Part 21 of 28)

Summary, Notes, Tags, & Part 1 are here.

Act I - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Act II - Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

AO3 Link is here, darling.

Word Count: 4,513

—————————————

Act II, Chapter 9 - The Artifact

As everyone packed their things and got ready to leave for the Gate, you realized that you had a new party member.

Jaheira had decided to accompany you to help defeat the Chosen of the Dead Three. She had said she couldn’t stand and watch some young brats make the same mistakes she did when she went against the Bhaalspawn.

Halsin had rejoined your party as well; he had promised your group that he would lend his aid in defeating the Absolute before returning to help rebuild Thaniel’s land. It was the least he could when everyone had helped him remove the curse.

And so now, with two druids along for the journey, you carried on to the city, despite your own misgivings about returning to a place where you might be recognized.

It’s been three years. Perhaps no one will remember me. I was only here for a tenday, after all.

It should have been a straight shot to the bridge that led to Baldur’s Gate. But just as you all had attempted to pass through, a gang of githyanki warriors ambushed you. But after having a good night’s sleep, your friends were invigorated and took them out quickly.

Lae’zel didn’t seem surprised by the attack. You spoke quietly to her as the group continued down the road and discovered that she had been visited by one of the other githyanki shortly before your group entered the Underdark. You had been sound asleep, apparently. She had met with the one you had seen flying a red dragon when you had just started traveling with them. You thought the brothel was a strange place to meet, but you figured clandestine meetings were probably commonplace there.

As you left the Shadowlands, you felt a soft tingling along your spine. It felt more like a gentle touch, like someone running their fingers delicately along your skin. You turned to see the huge tree that had been blackened and rotting suddenly glow and bloom, life returning to it in a sudden wave of growth. Light was returning to the land, and your friends had helped make it happen. You turned to the others, who had also stopped and were looking back, satisfied smiles on their faces.

The day passed on the road, chatting away, almost as if you all weren’t about to face the biggest threat to the city in nearly a century. You managed to pull Shadowheart aside and spoke with her separately from the others about what had happened in the temple.

It took her a bit to open up, but once she started to tell you, everything came pouring out. Her refusal to kill the Nightsong. Her decision to trust her instincts for once and not blindly do what Shar asked of her. What Dame Aylin told her last night in the inn.

“When we get to the city, I want to start searching for my parents.”

You held her hand. You had not put on your gloves today, on a whim. You were glad, for you felt a determination, strong and clear. The haze that you had always sensed in her emotions before was now gone, replaced by a clean clarity, like spring water. “I’ll help you, in any way I can.”

Shadowheart smiled warmly at you. “Thank you. For always being here for us. For me.” She squeezed your hand in return. “There is… one thing, I’d like your help with. I’ll tell you when we make camp tonight.”

***

You were halfway to the city when night fell, so you set up a camp a little ways off the main road. There was an abandoned house surrounded by red grasses and red-leaved trees. It was a beautiful area, not quite healed, but not quite dead either. You supposed it was because it looked like autumn had come to all the foliage that made it look so alluring to you.

Setting up the campfire, you were about to sing your fire cantrip when it suddenly lit on its own.

You felt a harsh sting at the base of your spine, and you quickly turned around. The air shimmered and Raphael appeared, all smirks and slimy grins. 

“Oh? And where’s your pet?”

Your brow wrinkled. “He’s not my pet.”

His gaze focused on something over your shoulder. “Could have fooled me, with how quickly he’s coming to your side.”

You didn’t take your eyes off the devil, only listening for Astarion as he marched right up next to you. 

“We delivered the devil. Now I want what I’m owed. We had a deal.”

Raphael sneered. “Indeed we did.”

You listened quietly, taking in everything that the devil was saying. It was horrendous. When Raphael disappeared with a flamboyant snap of his fingers and a plume of infernal smoke, you turned to Astarion.

He frowned. “Hmmm.”

You stepped closer and took his hand in yours. His emotions were a jumble of confusion.

“What do you think I should do?” he asked you in a quiet murmur.

You thought about how hard it was to feel free when you were constantly looking over your shoulder. “You’ll never be free while Cazador lives.”

“I hate how right you are.” He paused, thinking. “I knew he wouldn’t leave me alone even when I was just another wretched toy for him to play with. But if I’m the key to this power he craves, he’ll hunt me to the ends of Faerûn.”

You squeezed his hand.

Astarion let out a resigned sigh. “I need to take the fight to him.”

“Let’s ask the others for help.”

He looked at you, unsure.

Tugging on his arm, you led him to the others sitting by the campfire. 

“No need to ask,” Gale suddenly said as you and Astarion sat down. “We’ll help you, Astarion.”

He blinked. “I…” Taking a small breath, he bowed his head. “Thank you.”

Karlach came over and sat beside him, lightly punching his arm. “C’mon now, did you really think we’d let that arsehole take you away from us?”

“And we’d be doing the city a favor,” Wyll mentioned. “I can’t in good conscience let someone like that become even more powerful.”

You watched Astarion, clearly still not used to having friends, awkwardly accept everyone’s offer to help.

Aww. I’m happy for him.

As everyone sat by the campfire, you mentally tallied up all of the things your friends wanted, and needed, to do. Visit the arcane bookstore to research the crown. Find Shadowheart’s parents. Kill Cazador. Beat the shit out of Gortash and take his netherstone. Find Orin and take her netherstone. Destroy (or control) the elder brain.

So many tasks. At the end of the day, it sounded like a laundry list for legendary heroes, not average folk.

But looking around at your friends, you thought, perhaps they could become legendary. After all, they all had harsh pasts that forced them to grow stronger, wiser, bolder, than anyone you had ever met before.

So why am I here?

The night went on, and the others began to head off to bed. You cleaned up and went to Shadowheart’s tent and asked her what she needed help with.

“I… I want to change my hair.”

You blinked. “Sure, of course.” Looking at her dark braid, you imagined the possibilities. Luscious wavy locks? A cute bob cut? “You have an idea in mind?”

“Well… I think I’d like to change the color, mostly.”

You blinked. “To… what?”

She looked up at the moonlight. “Perhaps something that suits my… heritage.”

Ah, Selune. Oh! “I have an idea.”

You sang your illusion spell, the one you had learned from Gale a while back. But now you could manipulate it to change aspects of the image, and with a few hummed notes, you could change how her hair looked in the image. She selected one that looked similar to her current style, but in silver.

“Alright, I apologize if this doesn’t work exactly how you imagine.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

You took a deep breath. Gods, I hope this works.

Then you sang. It was a soft song, one that grew out her bangs to mid-length, and changed her dark strands to platinum, the darkness ebbing away from her roots to the tips, as if you were singing away the shadows from her hair. When you finished, you grabbed her mirror and held it up to her. “What do you think?”

You held your breath as she turned her head one way, then another, her gaze critical.

Finally, she smiled. “I love it.” She turned and hugged you. “It’ll take some getting used to, but… it feels right.”

You hugged her tightly in return. “I’m glad.” Stepping back, you gently touched her braid. “It really does suit you.” Then you waggled your eyebrows. “Be sure that you ask Gale what he thinks in the morning. Or tonight.”

Shadowheart lightly slapped your arm, but shared your laughter.

***

“Are you quite done with your ladies night?”

You raised an eyebrow at Astarion, who was sitting inside of his tent, lounging back on a cushion, sipping a goblet of wine and reading a book. 

“Are you jealous that we didn’t invite you?” you asked as you sat next to him.

“What do you think?”

“I think you were.”

He put his goblet down, grabbed his hair brush, and handed it to you silently.

You smiled. “You were.” Quietly brushing his hair while he relaxed under your touch, you realized after a while that he had placed his book down. You leaned over to look at his face.

His eyes were closed, his lips curved slightly, contentedness flowing from him.

“When’s the last time you fed?”

He answered after a few moments. “Yesterday, I think.”

You placed your wrist in front of his mouth. “Here.”

Gently, Astarion grasped your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist. He lightly ran his fangs along your skin. 

You could feel his hunger, and his delight. And something simmering beneath those emotions, something darker, more primal. Bracing yourself for the pain, you took a deep breath.

“Thank you for this meal,” he said in a reverent whisper before biting down. It stung, as always, but the emotions you had felt before became more intense. Your whole body felt like it lurched with the sensations, and you could feel your heart suddenly racing, both from his eagerness to feed, and also from the intimacy of the act.

You weren’t sure how long he fed from you, but when he let go, he kissed your wound. “I have a vial of healing potion near those books in the corner,” he said. “Just for you.”

You poured a few drops of the potion on your wrist, then you lay down, almost curling up around him like a cat. 

Astarion chuckled. “You’re like a kitten,” he murmured, commenting on your body language.

“Meow,” you said playfully.

He reached up and undid the leather strip that kept your bun together. He ran one hand through your hair, letting it cascade around his hand. “Gods, you’re beautiful.”

You blinked and looked up at him. “Erm, thank you.”

His expression looked pained, and you could feel a slight tinge of guilt through his touch. “So beautiful it almost hurts,” he whispered.

Frowning, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him down beside you. You stared into his eyes, trying to figure out why he would say such a thing. Oh. I think I know why. “What would take that hurt away?”

He looked sad. “I don’t know.”

You gently pressed your forehead against his. “Perhaps a chaste kiss?”

You were half-joking, but he looked at you with such hope that you immediately felt bad.

“Can you imagine?” he whispered. “I’ve bedded thousands. And yet the thought of a mere kiss with you sends my heart aflame.”

Cupping his cheek, you smiled. “That’s because I’m special.”

“That you are.”

He and you both leaned in slowly, eyes closing as your lips came into contact. There was a spark, a flash of white hot heat that lasted half a moment before it melted into a soft warmth. You pulled away first, not wanting to risk anything further.

Astarion’s eyes fluttered open. “Perfection.”

You smiled. “You liar.”

He chuckled softly as he pulled you in close and settled in to trance. “About you? Never.”

***

You awoke in his arms again, and together you broke down the tent before you went to help clean and pack up camp for the rest of the journey. 

After another day of eventless travel, you found an abandoned fort as night fell, and decided that although you were a stone’s throw away from the city’s outer limits, there was no reason to exhaust yourselves so soon when there would be fierce battles ahead. After setting up the campsite, you climbed up to the tower and stared at the city lights. It had been a while since you’d been here. Over three years, and to you, Baldur’s Gate still looked the same.

I wonder if Waterdeep looks any different now than when I left. Not that I would ever go back. Not unless I knew that masked lord was dead.

Taking in the view for a few minutes more, you finally turned and headed back down the ladder to the campfire, where Shadowheart and Gale were setting up the kindling.

“Shall I light it up?” Gale asked, his hand raised, ready to cast a cantrip.

“Sure,” Shadowheart replied, and while you quietly stood back and watched, Gale snapped his fingers, waved his hand, and murmured some words you couldn’t hear, his eyes never leaving hers.

Alright Shadowheart, I see why you fell for him.

Setting the campfire ablaze, Gale leaned a little closer to the cleric, their arms brushing against one another.

You tried to slip away, but you accidentally stepped on some dry leaves. Gods, could I have been any more cliché? 

They both turned to you.

“How long have you been there?” Shadowheart asked as Gale stepped away from her.

Argh, I’m sorry Gale. “I was just walking past, so only a second or two.”

Shadowheart raised an eyebrow. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“She was lying?”

Both of you looked at Gale.

You’re so smart, and yet so dumb. “I was trying to be discreet,” you said as you turned to Shadowheart. “Isn’t that what you taught me?”

She laughed. “I did, and I appreciate the effort.” Taking Gale’s hand, she smiled. “But… I think it’s alright now.”

Gale looked back at her in surprise. 

“Besides, everyone in camp already knows,” you said with a laugh.

Gale continued to look surprised.

Oh my gods, Gale. “Anyway, I can’t wait to see you two holding hands openly now.”

When the supper was ready and everyone sat down together to eat, Karlach gasped and pointed at the two lovebirds holding hands, like a little girl excitedly seeing something cute.

“Oh my gosh, finally!”

Gale and Shadowheart blushed. The others only laughed.

“I told you, everyone knew already,” you said, passing out glasses of wine to everyone. “A toast, to friends, to love, and to beating up bad guys.”

Everyone heartily cheered and had a few more glasses before supper was over. While you cleaned up, everyone was relaxing by the fire, amicably chatting away. It was peaceful and nice.

But you felt a foreboding, deep down in your gut. And on your seal, to be honest. And for some reason, every time you focused on the lines of magic, there was always some kind of thread leading back to Shadowheart. Or more specifically, her pack.

Could it be…?

Finally, you could no longer resist your curiosity. You knew she kept some kind of strange artifact on her person, everyone knew about it. The others hadn’t told you too much about it, other than it contained a power that was helping them resist transforming into a mind flayer. So you went up to Shadowheart after you finished your chores.

“Can I… see your artifact?”

She looked surprised. “Why?”

“I…” You paused. You realized that only Astarion knew about your seal. “Um, just curious. You all have spoken about it here and there, and I realized that I had never seen it up close.”

She raised an eyebrow, but pulled it out of her pack and showed it to you. “You can look, but I don’t think you should touch it. It might… react poorly.”

You could tell she was lying, but you weren’t sure why.

As you approached, it glowed, power pulsing along its creases. Your seal pulsed in response, and you stepped back. “Oh, wow. Alright, well, it does seem a bit… dangerous.”

Shadowheart nodded as she put it away. “It’s the only thing keeping us from transforming into brain suckers, but it’s certainly brought us trouble along the way.”

“Ah, that’s true. Well, thank you for indulging my curiosity,” you finally said, and bid her good night.

Returning to Astarion’s tent, you lay on your bedroll and stared up at the stars. Astarion was taking first watch tonight, so you would be alone for the first half of the night. Before, it wouldn’t have bothered you. Now, you wanted to hold him in your arms.

Gods, is this what falling in love feels like? To be so… needy? 

Slowly, you fell into a restless sleep.

***

You awoke to the sting of your seal burning on your back and sat bolt upright.

“Darling?”

Glancing over at Astarion, who had only just taken off his armor, you only said, “seal,” and ran outside, following the lines of power. You could hear him pulling his armor back on as he ran after you. Not bothering to sneak past the other tents, you ran to the main campfire and stared up at the wooden walkway. The lines of power ended there.

“There’s nothing here,” Astarion said as he caught up to you. “At least, not yet.”

Then he suddenly grasped his head and squeezed his eyes shut. 

At the same time, a portal opened on the wooden walkway and several figures stepped out, their menacing silhouettes darkening the glow from the portal.

The figures, sensing that you were the weak one, all honed in and dashed towards you.

“Go to Withers!” Astarion yelled as he deflected an arrow shot straight at your head.

You ran towards the little hut at the edge of the campsite, just as everyone else appeared and ran towards the enemy, passing you on the way.

Then you saw the owlbear cub, snarling and growling, while Scratch tugged on its neck, trying to pull him away.

Oh gods, the little ones!

You stopped to help Scratch pull the owlbear cub away from the fight to where Withers was staying, calmly talking the cub down from its bloodlust.

“No sweetheart, you can’t go fight, not now. Wait until you’re bigger.”

~~But I want to fight now. Help big brother.~~

“Big Brother?” You looked over to see Halsin in his bear form, knocking back enemies with a mighty swing of his paws. Turning back to the little owlbear, you scratched his head. “When you’re bigger, my sweet. Let’s make sure you get lots to eat so you can grow big and strong, alright? But for now, you need to stay safe and alive so you can fight later.”

Owly looked up at you with his big pleading eyes.

“No, you must stay here.”

He hooted sadly.

You turned to Scratch. “Thank you for helping him.”

~Of course, Mistress. I couldn’t let our little brother get hurt.~

You blinked. “Mistress?”

Scratch tipped his head. ~Well. Yes. I suppose you’re our mistress now. You’ve been good to us. You care about us. You feed us.~

You nodded. “I suppose. But to me, we’ll always be friends.”

Scratch pressed his wet nose against your knee. ~Yes, always.~

Turning your attention back to the battle beyond, you decided to stay behind and wait for the others to handle the fight. You watched as they defeated the enemies and jumped into the portal. Everything grew quiet, and it looked like the warriors on the ground were well and truly dead.

You came upon the corpses, a bit surprised to see that they were githyanki.

Ah. Odd. Oh well.

You began to loot their bodies, taking all of their armor and weapons for later bartering. Then you dragged their bodies, one by one with Scratch’s help, to the cliff’s edge, tossing them off the side.

When you saw Owly devouring one of the bodies, you had an idea. “Owly, do you want to eat the others?”

Owly looked up and looked around. ~~Yes, more food!~~ he chirped happily around a mouthful of flesh.

Good, that’ll be less weight to push off the cliff.

You cleaned up the camp and prepared some healing potions, waiting for the others to return.

A few hours passed, and when they came out of the portal, your companions looked exhausted. More concerning to you was Gale was helping Shadowheart walk, her arm wrapped around his shoulders, favoring her left leg. You called her name and immediately went to the other side of her, putting her other arm around your shoulders. Helping her to the campfire, you and Gale sat her down, leaning against a rock to prop her up.

You went to grab a few healing potions, quickly returning just in time to see Gale holding her hand, gently whispering to her as she grimaced against the pain. You knelt down beside her and helped her drink two of the potions, monitoring the ghastly wound that ran along the length of her thigh as it healed.

“You’re a tough one, aren’t you,” you said soothingly as you helped her out of her armor. 

Shadowheart only shrugged.

“Can you walk now?”

She nodded. “Yeah, seems alright.”

“Good. Leave your clothes outside your tent, I’ll clean and mend them before morning.”

You didn’t say anything when Gale led her to her tent and followed her inside.

Now you could tend to the others. Everyone already knew the drill as they tossed their clothes in piles outside of their tents, clearly ready to be done for the night. Just as you were about to dutifully gather their things, Astarion gently guided you back to his tent.

“Astarion?”

“It can wait until you’ve had some sleep,” he said, dropping his armor and bloody clothes on the floor inside of his tent. He pulled on a pair of soft linen pants and lay down on his bedroll. “Come here, darling.”

Just as you laid down next to him, he pulled you on top of him, draping you over his body like a blanket. A feeling of satisfaction oozed from him, so you let him hold you.

Letting his body lull you into a warm, comforting stupor, you softly sang a lullaby from long ago.

Soon enough, both of you fell asleep.

***

You woke up when Astarion did. More specifically, he jolted upright, accidentally flinging you to the side.

“Astarion? Are you alright?” you asked, panicking at the look of fear on his face.

“I… I slept.”

You blinked. It took a moment for you to register exactly what he said. “Wait, I thought elves didn’t sleep.”

“We don’t, generally speaking. At least, I don’t.” He stared at you. “Your song last night. It was different from your usual lullaby.”

You thought about it. “Oh… it was one my mother used to sing to me. It’s… in Sylvan…” You shook your head. “Wait, I thought nothing could make an elf fall asleep?”

Astarion stared at you. “Curious.” He finally shrugged. “Well, if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather you not sing that song in my presence again. I… dreamed about the past.”

He said that last word with such disgust that you were afraid to ask what he dreamed about. “I’m sorry.”

He waved away your apology. “You didn’t know.” Looking closely at your face, he raised an eyebrow. “You want to ask me what I dreamed about, don’t you?”

You swallowed. “I don’t want to make you relive something you don’t want to.”

He shrugged and held your hand. “Perhaps telling you will help me forget about it.”

You could tell that Astarion was omitting or glossing over certain things as he spoke, but you got the gist. Entombed for a whole year. You could barely manage a day without eating, but a whole year? You wanted to tear out Cazador’s entrails and strangle him with them. Your tears fell, full of rage and sadness for Astarion, who was punished far too harshly just for showing a bit of compassion.

He brushed your tears away. “You’re far too empathetic,” he said.

You have no idea. Taking a deep breath, you calmed yourself, your breath still shuddering. “I wish I could feed him his own innards.”

Astarion laughed. “If you could fight, you would have been a magnificent menace,” he said proudly. “It’s almost a shame you’re as sweet as you are. Can you imagine yourself tearing your enemies limb from limb?”

You chuckled. “That is definitely a fever dream of an image.” 

He took your hands and pressed his forehead to yours. You could tell that some of the fear was subsiding, but there was still a slight thrum beneath everything else. He finally leaned back and took a breath.

“Everyone said that they’d help you. They’ll help you kill him, and you’ll be free,” you assured him.

He only hummed thoughtfully before getting up. “Well, I suppose we should face the new day, hm?”

***

As you went around cleaning and mending the damaged clothes from last night, you could overhear snippets of conversation as the others ate breakfast.

“The Gate is close. As is Cazador.” You could hear Astarion’s ire as he launched into a tirade, his words dripping with venom.

The others commented, but your ears perked up when he mentioned taking Cazador’s place in the ritual.

I’m not sure about this.

You continued to eavesdrop until they decided to look for Astarion’s ‘siblings’ around the dens of the city. You couldn’t quite tell what everyone was thinking, but with each person having their own goals in the city, you wondered if they were all distracted with their own thoughts and not truly paying attention.

After an hour, everyone had packed up and gotten their things packed onto the floating disc. Walking down the path towards the city, you quietly pulled Astarion aside.

“Are you sure about… taking Cazador’s place?”

“We need to find out more, but why not? Don’t you want me to be stronger?”

I do, but not if you’re sacrificing souls to a devil to do it. “Just… think about the consequences.”

He shrugged. “I am.”

You could tell that he wasn’t. Leaving it alone for now, you followed the group into Rivington, and a new phase of your adventure. 

Gods, we have enough shit headed our way. I hope I can help them, if even just a little bit.

-------------------------------

Act II, Chapter 9 End notes: Finally, we’re getting to the city! What new trouble will our heroes find themselves in? How will our dear hearth witch handle the big city? Find out next week! Just seven more chapters to go, my dears…

Tags List: @numblytemporary @xalphafox @avitute @stormyjane7 @kmoon21

[im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley]

This post was inspired by this other post I saw

Working conditions being angel/demon in good omens

I want to start by saying that I believe 100% that the working conditions in both places suck, and that I believe that the only reason they have been maintained for so many years is because they control all reality, and because there is no opposition (clarification: I don't consider hell an opposition from heaven, I consider them the same system).

Now, let's go in detail to analyse these working conditions, I will start by hell because they are the easy ones.

Hell

We know that they resort to torture as a disciplinary method, and as a method of... increase the performance of their workers. We know that Crowley was punished for the times he acted against their interests, we also know that Josh loses his tongue almost EVERY DAY simply for talking too much, Eric is discorporated... well, many times, etc.

The conditions are bad, bad lighting (do they even see what they're writing?), almost zero organization, cleanliness is... kind of non-existent, and in season one we see Hastur, a HIGH RANGE demon holding a bucket because there was a leak. Definitely not the best conditions

In terms of psychological abuse of their workers, we have threats of cutting off body parts, and obviously threats of punishment.

We also know that there are rations of something, and that they cut them in half at a certain time.

We also have Furfur mentioning that he is definitely not happy with his career, and that although he feels he does a good job, he is not rewarded

We also see Beelzebub, SECOND IN COMMAND, unhappy with their conditions there

Then we have the general atmosphere, and the "most of my demons live for Armageddon" mentality among the demons

What does that phrase mean? That phrase means that the demons manage to endure in those conditions only because they know that it is written that there will be a day where maybe they can get rid of it all. Armageddon is for the demons a "the day when we will have the opportunity to be free"

Evidently, the mental health of all demons is about as far from "good" as you can put it.

Heaven

Heaven is a bit more difficult, because to notice the problems here you must first deconstruct the image of "the good guys" they have

And it is precisely that image that is worth mentioning here, because creating a place where you tell all the workers that they are "the good guys" is a very worrying kind of control.

In heaven they have the image that what they do is obviously what is meant to be right, that means that every action committed by them is right. That is not a healthy mentality, and it is a mentality that makes you have a justification for committing absolutely any act and calling it good.

And it's something that we see them doing, with Job, with the flood, with casting the demons out of heaven, with trying to kill Aziraphale, with wanting to erase someone's memory... all these things I have mentioned are wrong, but all (or almost all) of the workers in heaven believed they were doing the right thing in those circumstances

Having this idea in place that everything the institution does is right also allows you to do something else: to call anyone evil.

Such an institution cannot survive if it has rebels in its ranks, so it must either force them to act "rightly" or get rid of them before they create more problems.

As a bonus, it is worth mentioning that we continually see them create a sense of "guilt" in case they fail to fulfil heaven's missions, especially influenced by the fact that angels are created to fulfil their functions. It is difficult to convince you that it is not your fault that you failed in your job, when you were told that your existence was to fulfil that function.

Now, psychological manipulation and indoctrination aside, we also see at least two scenes (that I recall) of psychological abuse, the first being the angel yelling at Aziraphale in season 1, none of the other angels seemed extremely surprised by that interaction, so possibly it's a normal occurrence. And then we have Gabriel and... every interaction he has with Aziraphale in season one, but the most valid one to mention is the interaction between Crowley being Aziraphale and Gabriel. There again, straight up psychological abuse.

Isolation, all the things I've mentioned so far are extremely favoured if the people you're doing them to are isolated. And we can assume that they are based on what we've seen

Angels are extremely unlikely to discover that they are being manipulated or abused, or be motivated to do something about it if they are almost completely isolated.

The fear of falling, I already mentioned the fear of failure and the psychological burden that that was your life purpose, but there's another thing that's over angels, and that's the fear of being a demon. You have this example of this group of angels who rebelled and who fell into eternal suffering, and furthermore, you are taught to hate them, that you are better than them, and that they brought it on themselves, and that they got what they got.

Evidently you wouldn't want to "fail" and be with "them"

There are probably many things I have forgotten, but I'll leave it at that.

Neither place can be called good, and the truth is that I feel a lot of concern for all of them living for MILLIONS of years in those conditions

[devastator1775]

Hope, Love and V - Chapter 2: the decision to move forward

Chapter summary: V has to deal with visitors, revelations and important decisions.

It took V a while before she managed to return fully back to the here-and-now after her realization that her legs weren’t functioning. Her doctor had been rambling off possible directions they could undertake, but she had a hard time registering to any of them. Even after he realized that V wasn’t listening to him and decided to leave her alone to ‘process this change’, as he had put it, all V could do was stare at her legs – or the useless pieces of metal that they now were.

She didn’t cry.

She didn’t shout.

She didn’t throw blame towards anyone …except maybe the Sentinels that used her spine and legs for chewing toys.

She couldn’t feel anger, sadness, fear or anything else.

She just felt numb.

Like her legs.

Once V finally managed to snap herself out of her gloomy dissonance, she figured that she feeling sorry for herself wouldn’t do anything for her right now. She needed to make sense of things and get a grip on her situation. she began by just trying to get everything sorted out mentally. She went over what happened to her and what she could remember the doctor told her. There were still things that didn’t make sense to the story. Gaps and coincidences too convenient to sound true. Things she hoped that Uzi and N could shed some light on.

But until then, all she could do was rest and wait.

The day after her awakening felt so surreal to V. Nurses came in to check up on her, checking the levels of her coolant IV bag and feed her lithium flavoured jell-oil cups. It was weird, feeling hunger like ‘a normal Drone’ – if she even could call herself that now. She had been so used to that ever-present thirst and hunger for worker Drone oil and now …she was enjoying the gelatinous treat provided by those she used to hunt.

Really, though, she was on her tenth cup. Why was she enjoying this so much? Maybe something about small comforts during troubling times or some mushy feel-good nonsense like that. She hated how the mushy feel-good nonsense seemed to help her a little, tough.

After she scooped out the last bit of the wiggly, black substance and popped it in her mouth, she finally set her tray aside. She looked down at her legs, trying to ignore that cold feeling that was setting in her stomach. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the components in her legs. “C’mon…. just wiggle” She whispered at herself.

Nothing happened.

She gritted her teeth so hard, she felt that her jaw might pop out of its socket.

Nothing.

She tried again.

Nothing. Nothing.

Again.

Nothing. Nothing! NOTHING!

With a frustrated growl, she flopped backwards on her pillow. She really wanted to kick her feet in anger, but oh wait: she couldn’t! She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. The whole situation with her legs was bad enough, but she was getting so fed up with being alone in this room, bored out of her mind. While she was keeping herself busy switching out her hand for her various tools – just to check if they still work, as she told herself – a knock on the door roused her from her ‘maintenance’. “What!?” No idea why she felt like she just got caught doing something naughty.

The door opened and a familiar voice sounded. “Well, here I was hoping that the coma would have improved your attitude a bit, but alas…” Uzi commented with a grin as she walked in. V was surprised how cheery she seemed to be, despite one of her arms being in some contraption and resting on a sling.

“Purple thing, you still live!” V exclaimed, trying her best to sound casual, but unable to keep the genuine smile to flash across her face. “Where the goofball?”

“He wanted to come, but he promised dad that he would help him and the WDF with the cleanup today. He’ll be by later.” Uzi walked over to V and threw her good arm around her to hug her, which V, after a few moments of deciding between ‘acting like a bad bitch’ or ‘just go with it’, returned. “I’m so glad you’re awake. We – me and N - wanted to come over yesterday when we heard, but the nurses didn’t let us.”

“I thought I heard your annoying voice in the hallway, but I figured the night terrors were back again.” She could practically feel Uzi rolling her eyes, but they both chuckled. She brought her voice down to a whisper. “So, seeing Copper-9, the Colony and all of us are still alive and around …I take it that the Solver is…?”

Uzi nodded in V’s shoulder. “The Absolute Solver is destroyed. Gone. From me. You. N. No thirst or need to hunt. We won.”

“I’ll admit, having no desire to hunt down Worker Drones and drain them for their oil to sustain myself …is kinda nice. Still kinda weird not seeing Drones nearly soil themselves at the sight of me, though.” She patted Uzi’s back and gently pushed her off. “Okay, okay, get off. Don’t want people think we’re friends or anything.” She didn’t mean that, obviously. The road that their friendship had taken was rough – understatement of the year – , but she couldn’t deny that there was a bond between them and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. She’d never say it out loud, off course.

Uzi snorted in amusement. “Please, with N and I visiting you pretty much every day since they brought you in, I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in the Colony assumes that we’re besties.”

“Ugh, you really aren’t the type to use peppy slang like that, Doorman.” V teased back. “Leave that to the professionals, like Lizzie.”  

“Speaking of her ….” Uzi rested her good hand on V’s bed and leaned in close, grinning slyly. “She’s been visiting you pretty regularly as well. Almost more than me and N.”

“O-oh, really?” V asked, really wishing that the sub-routine that defined the intensity of her blushing wasn’t at 100% effectiveness right now. “I mean, cool. Didn’t know she cared.”

“Oh, I believe she cares more than you give her credit for.” Uzi teased, but keeping her voice gentle. No need to rattle the hornets’ nest too much. “She even skipped class a few times to spend the day here.”

V felt her visor heat up as she blushed. “Like that’s new. She would do that every other week, like it was the latest trend.” V countered, still blushing. Though, she did start skipping class more often after the whole prom thing and they started to hang out more. Luckily, Lizzy can afford missing a few classes, since she’s smarter than people would assume of her. She’s actually quite intelligent and pretty and funny and - Nope, not ready to deal with those emotions. Time to change the topic. V nodded towards the sling around Uzi’s arm. “Speaking of fashion: what’s with the accessory?”

Uzi, deciding to give V a little respite from the teasing, glanced at her sling and shrugged. “Let’s say that no-one got out of that last confrontation with the Solver unscathed.  Like, it really messed it us up. N and I still have regular repairs, as you can see.”

“Yeah, the doc mentioned it was pretty touch-and-go when they brought you two in.” V crossed her arms and looked away with a scowl. “At least you can get repaired.” She realized that she had muttered that a bit too noticeably and looked back at her visitor, grimacing when she saw Uzi’s regretful expression. “Sorry, I …ever since I woke up, things have been ….” She let out a heavy sigh. “Well, it’s been an ordeal.”

“I …I heard.” Uzi said as she took a chair and sat down, trying her best not to start staring at V’s legs. She cautiously reached out to V’s legs and placed her hand on them, glancing over to the former Disassembly Drone as if waiting for her to tell her not too. “Can the doctors do something about it?”

V rubbed her face, letting out a frustrated groan. “Yeah, a few, with chances of success of me walking again ranging from ‘a sliver’ to ‘cautiously optimistic’. My favourite treatment that they suggested to replace my legs completely with new ones.” She scoffed. “As my doc put it: ‘it has the greatest chance of restoring some of your mobility to the point you can be proficiently self-reliable.’.”

“That’s …good, right?” Uzi cautiously asked.

“I guess…”

“I’m …almost afraid to ask, but what about your wings? Couldn’t you…?”

V looked away, biting her lower lip. She hadn’t had the chance to really check up on her wing situation. She could still feel them, but she had a pretty good idea they weren’t in a great state either. At one point during her battle with the Sentinels, she had tried to fly up and get some higher ground, but the mechanical raptors had pulled her down, their metal teeth sinking in the metallic blades that made up her ‘feathers’. Even if the metallurgy surgeons could fix up her wings, she doubted that she would be able to use them without triggering seizures.

V stared in front of her as the conversation died down, leaving them sitting in silence. She looked up when she heard Uzi take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, V.” Uzi said, a digital tear forming under her eye.

“For what?” V asked, genuinely confused. “You’re not the one who did this to me?”

“Same thing.” The young Drone stated. She fidgeted nervously with the hem of her hoodie. “If I hadn’t- “

V’s hand shot out and grabbed Uzi’s wrist, pulling her close. “Let me make one thing clear, Uzi Doorman.” She stated sternly, holding a tight grip around the latter’s arm. “I made the choice to stay behind. The Sentinels would have gotten to you if I hadn’t and then Cyn, The Solver: they would have won.” She released Uzi’s arm and leaned back into her pillow. “And seeing that we’re all still around to feel sorry for ourselves, it was a good choice, no matter what has happened to me. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself, because I am not blaming you for anything. And you shouldn’t too.”

“But- “

“No buts, Purple Thing.” V interrupted. “I mean what I said. Yeah, this sucks. Yes, I’m sad. Yes, I’m angry. I am dealing with a lot of emotions while dealing with this whole situation, but …” She took a deep breath, and eventually produced a smile. “Do you really think I am going to let something like this hold me back? At all? I am going to conquer this. I am going to show my doctors, our friends, you, N and myself that I am strong enough to overcome this …however long it’s going to take.”

Uzi, after leaving her mouth agape for a few moments, wrapped her good arm around V and hugged her again. “Thank you, V.”

“You’re welcome, idiot.” She pushed Uzi off her with a grin.

Uzi leaned in close, bringing her voice to a whisper. “You know …Cyn mentioned a few times that she had backups of you guys. J got a new body after I killed her. Maybe Tessa- “

“No.”

“But- “

“No!” V repeated curtly.

“It would- “

“Uzi, listen.” V took a deep breath, folding her hands on her lap. “Don’t you think I’ve considered that possibility? It was probably the first things I’ve thought off. Call Tessa and let her put my brain in a new body, but …”

“But?”

“I’m scared, Uzi.” V confessed. “What if you put me in a new body and it’s not …’me’? What if I’ll reboot and it’s just a new psychotic murder Drone with the name ‘V’? I’m not taking that risk if it means that I’ll lose any sort of personal growth I made since coming here.”

“J got a new body, and she seemed like her annoyingly, holier-than-thou self.”

V scoffed. “That’s not saying much. I think ‘workaholic company worshipper’ is just her default personality.” She took a deep breath. “No, I’m done being a Disassembly Drone. Done being a constant reminder about having been a plaything for eldritch being that tells me who I am and what I need to do. I …I just want to be V, even if ‘being V’ means I’ll need to somehow live with this broken body.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Dead serious.” V answered with a steely gaze. She gave Uzi a sly grin. “However, if you ever see signs I actually regret, just repeat all that crap I said about ‘being strong’ and ‘plaything’.”

Uzi chuckled. “I can do that.”

“Attagirl.” V folded her hands behind her back and tried to relax into her pillow. She felt lucky her little rant hadn’t caused her to seize up, despite having felt her servos twitch a few times. She didn’t want to let Uzi see that. Uzi felt bad enough without having to witness that. When she was certain that Uzi wouldn’t bring up the topic again, she allowed herself to relax again and leaned back on her pillow. “I’ll tell you what, I’m going to miss flying, though.”

“Yeah, me too.” When V gave her a quizzical look, she shrugged. “No more Solver means that my mutations have vanished as well. Still, with N still having them, he’s been doing the flying for the both of us during our da-aaaaaah nothing!”

“No, no, I heard it!” V pointed out with a massive grin. “You were gonna say ‘dates’, weren’t you?”

Uzi blushed so hard that her visor almost become a floodlight, but she nodded with a giddy smile. “Okay, fine, yes: me and N are dating. Quite happily so.”

“Well, …about time. Honestly, seeing you guys fumble around each other like that was getting tiresome. I didn’t need a season 2 of that show.” V commented, relishing that she had found a new thing to tease Uzi with. “So, I take it that you finally got over your teenage angst and confessed first?”

“Uh, actually …N confessed first …technically.” Uzi corrected, blushing slightly.

“Technically?”

“Well, I’m sure it counts, but the moment sucked considering If was taken over by the Absolute Solver and it was fighting N and my mom.”

V froze. Did her audio receptors glitch or… “Did you say ‘mom’? As in: ‘your dead mom’?” She asked. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know what, I’m done with the whole happy small talk. Can you please fill me in on what happened after I heroically sacrificed myself and ended up a Sentinel Tug-o’-war toy?” 

“Yeah, I guess I owe you that….” Uzi rubbed the back of her head, pondering on what to tell first. “There’s a lot, so …get ready.”

V listened as Uzi told what happened after she and the rest of the group had ‘separated’, and each new revelation was another kick in the face. Uzi told about how she had left Tessa and N behind after she started to get scared of what they might do to her. How she had found the video logs of the morally ambiguous and borderline cruel experiments JCJENSON had performed on the Drones infected with the Solver. How it showed Uzi and Doll’s mother being the last survivors of those experiments and that they both had a hand – no pun intended – in the core collapse that brought an end to the human civilization. About a critically injured Doll and how Tessa tried to kill her. About N trying to stop her and how their fight ended up in N stabbing Tessa through the chest.

She told V about how she had blacked out as the Absolute Solver finally took complete possession of her. How Nori stepped in to stop the Solver from killing N and their subsequent fight. The details of said fight were later told to the latter by N afterwards. How the Solver almost ate her mother’s core, but N’s confession of him and Uzi ‘hanging out’ brought her back.

V had to admit, the mental image of Uzi punting her mother into the Evil Pit™ and being so flustered by N that she only could screech was hilarious to her. Less hilarious was the revelation that Tessa not only had survived her stabbing, but everything she told afterwards. How she had survived the massacre in her childhood, how she had started working for the Humanity Remnant Government and her infiltration in JCJENSON. How they had found Cyn and everything that happened to her when she had confronted the possessed Drone. How the human ended up a flesh suit for Cyn’s core, changing her from the inside out, until she ended up half-Drone, half-human. She knew she had a bad feeling about Tessa from the moment she appeared on Copper-9, but after what Uzi had told the horrors the former had gone through, she only felt regret and sadness for the little girl that once took in broken Drones because she didn’t have any other friends.

She felt a sense of pride in her prey-turned-friend when Uzi told her how she sacrificed herself to the flesh pit and how she put her faith in N, just like V had once put in her. The rest of the story was pretty straightforward. N met up with J, who somehow had been fighting with Khan, Lizzy and Thad and how they managed to convince J to work together. From there, Uzi finished her story by recalling everything she went through to bring the fight to the Absolute Solver. A series of events so intricate, scary and a little wholesome that V almost had no time to understand it all. Somehow the group had found out that the JCJ scientists not only had made a patch to sever the Solver’s connection to a Drone, but they had also managed to produce a kill switch, but they never had been able to test it. After a lengthy ordeal, they had managed to reunite and get their hands on the Kill Patch. After that …

“And then …. everything happened so fast.” Uzi took a deep breath, wiping away a digital tear. “My mom went in to use the Kill Patch on the Solver, by stabbing it into its core. It just …screamed and thrashed around, like a feral animal trying to survive. Just explosions and rubble falling around us everywhere. I had lost my arm – again. N was on the brink of going offline. My mom …was nowhere to be found. We …we almost wouldn’t have made it out of there, if Tessa and J hadn’t picked us up in their pod.”

“J to the rescue …small miracles …” V muttered. “Jeez, seems I missed out on a lot when I was out. Then what happened?”

“Once we were in the pod, all of us – minus Tessa – started …changing. Me, N and J’s mutations just …painfully removing themselves from us. It nearly killed N. We thought he had gone permanently offline. I begged. I screamed.” Uzi blushed. “I told him I loved him. He woke up. We kissed.”

V jokingly made a gagging noise, with Uzi sticking her tongue out at her. “Anyway, Tessa and J dropped us off in the Colony for repairs, while Tessa covertly checked our code for traces of the Solver Code. A few days later, the WDF sent out people to find, uh …”

“My remains?” V asked with a smirk.

“Hey, we all assumed you were gone.” Uzi admitted sheepishly. “We were so happy when we got the message that you miraculously survived.”

“Yeah, I got a sneaking suspicion on who that miracle was …” She glanced over at Uzi, her expression dark. “What happened to Doll?”

Uzi shook her head, letting out a saddened sigh. “No idea. We haven’t seen her since that day in Cabin Fever Labs.” She admitted. “She vanished during the fight between the Solver, N and my mom. We first assumed that she went back to the surface to kill you, but …”

“Instead, she actually rescued me – most of me - from the Sentinels.” V crossed her arms. “I suppose I should be grateful that she had a change of H.E.A.R.T. and saved me from being robo-chew. And she hasn’t resurfaced?”

“Search parties have been looking for weeks.” Uzi explained. “From what we can see on security cameras, we know she came back to the Colony once to collect some of her things. But ever since that …nothing. Gone. Vanished from the face of the planet, it seems.”

“I guess after everything that has happened, she must have her own reasons.” V sighed, conflicted about her feelings regarding the Russian speaking Drone. Despite their animosity, she had risked her own life to save V from those Sentinels. Why save someone she hated? Why did she disappear? Maybe there would come a time that she would be able to ask Doll herself, but until then …there were other questions anyway. “What happened to Cyn and your mom? Is she …?”

“We haven’t seen Cyn’s core since it jumped into the flesh pit. We assume that the Solver assimilated her completely and …destroyed her. N has been looking for her, trying to find some trace of her, dead or alive.” Uzi clenched her eyes shut, but there was a hint of a hopeful smile on her lips. “As for my mom … We …we haven’t found her core yet. She might still be out there. In all the chaos when the Solver perished, we lost sight of her. There is a lot of rubble to sift through and the work is going slowly because those tunnels seem to stretch out across the entire planet. Maybe …” Uzi sighed and let her head hang.

V couldn’t imagine what Uzi was going through. She had wanted to know about her mom her entire life, and suddenly she was there and gone before she could spend time with her. V was a realist but she hoped there was a chance. Uzi deserved as much. She let out a breath, her mind still processing everything that Uzi had told her. “Man …it’s a lot.”

“Yeah …”

“One thing, though.” V commented as she sat up again. “From what my doc told me, I got the feeling you didn’t tell anyone else what you just told me. There were a lot of gaps and ‘fortunate coincidences’ in his story.”

“Yeah, we …we decided that it would be best if everyone was told a-“ Uzi bit her lower lip as she mulled over the right expression. “Better digestible story. Evil eldritch AI, cruel experimentation on Drones, borderline magic powers, possession, …it’s a lot to take in, and I lived through that.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“Not only the colony, but Tessa had to tell the human Government she works for something as well. We feared that people would react …badly if they knew the full truth. So, we told them an abridged version, something that sounded more realistic.” Uzi wrung her hands together. “Knowing what the internet has told me about human history, they’d rather nuke the entire planet into space dust than risk happening something like this again. Tessa has enough evidence to put most of the blame on JCJENSON and divert any suspicion away from us.”

“Serves them right, from what I heard.” V scoffed. “They did experiment on a malevolent AI that already had destroyed their home planet, so I figure they get what’s coming to them.”

“I’m just happy that everything worked out and things are going back to n-“ Uzi stopped herself from finishing her sentence, guilt flooding on her visor.

V just rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to do this every time, aren’t you?” She asked, punching Uzi softly on her good shoulder. “Despite everything, it all worked out, right? Time to work to ‘the new normal’, right?”

Uzi giggled. “You sound like N.”

“Must be my medication.” V joked, making them both chuckle.

In the time that followed they fell into a relaxed conversation and if she was being honest with herself, she was grateful for the distraction. Despite all her talk about wanting to proof she was strong and that she would find a way to find closure on her situation …she’d been feeling miserable. She used to be such an independent Drone and now there was the possibility she’d never be able to do anything anymore without assistance. But she also didn’t want to just submit to these negative thoughts and feelings, because that wouldn’t do her any good. She was still processing everything and she had a feeling that would take a while. So she, for now, she gladly accepted the distraction and let Uzi drone on – no pun intended – about the changes that were happening in the Colony the last few weeks.

Once people finally started to believe that it was safe to venture outside, the first thing they did collect the fallen Drones that made up the corpse spires and give their processors a funeral. The rest of the bodies were either repurposed, recycled or scrapped for parts, which would sound weird for organic being, but for Drones was a traditional and sacred act. In the end, it would ensure that new Drone frames could be built for an eventual expansion of the Colony, now that the threat of the Disassembly Drones was over.

There was talk about reclaiming the Ruined City as their own and build something completely new. Something that wasn’t as cramped and packed as the Colony, but still provided the protection from the harsh climate of Copper-9.

People also seemed to warm up to N’s presence a lot easier than Uzi feared it would. N’s lovable goofball nature probably helped a lot, plus the fact that he was eager to help repair the damages that the latest near-end-times had caused. Uzi’s dad, much to her chagrin, had taken quite a liking to N, which meant he liked to barge in during the young couple’s alone time. It wouldn’t be so frustrating if N didn’t went along with it. She loved him, but jeez, he could be oblivious. Luckily, he was learning.

Uzi’s situation had improved. While Uzi and the rest of the ‘inner circle who knew’ decided that downplaying the situation would be better for the long run, it did have some rather unforeseen, yet positive consequences. Uzi was being heralded as the Drone that had made see the Disassembly Drones ‘see the error of their ways and turn against their genocidal masters’, and had a helped stop this threat despite the danger to her own life. Suddenly, people were lining up to thank her, invite her to parties and try to be friends with her.

“Wow, suddenly Miss Popular, huh?” V stated, grinning at Uzi’s embarrassed blush.

“Thing is, there used to be a time that I wouldn’t have liked anything else than that, but now….” Uzi chuckled sheepishly. “It’s not that I don’t like it, but it’s a bit much. It feels, like, …forced, or some jazz like that. Am I making sense?”

“Never.”

“Bite me.” Uzi stuck out her tongue, which V copied, making them both burst out in laughter. “Anyway, the only people who is actually feels genuine are Thad and-“

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Something in V’s chest buzzed when Lizzy peeked inside the room and smiled brightly as the latter noticed the former.

“It’s true…you’re finally awake.” Lizzy stated with a smile as she walked in. She gave Uzi a quick greeting. “Hi, Uzi. I, eh, left your homework at your place.”

“Thanks, Lizzy.” Uzi stood up from her chair and went over to give V a hug. “I’ll better get going.”

Lizzy suddenly looked flustered. “You don’t need to-“

“Nah, the two of you have some catching up to do, too.” Uzi said as she walked over to the door. She paused when she reached Lizzy and leaned over to whisper something in her ears. Lizzy, suddenly blushing, gave Uzi a playful push and whispered something back, which made the two girls giggle. With a final goodbye, Uzi made her way out of the room and let the two Drones alone in silence.

A few moments of silence passes, during which neither Drone seemed to know how to get the conversation started. Eventually, V started by clearing her throat. “So, uh …since when are you and Uzi so chummy?”

“Well, a lot happened. A lot changed.” Lizzy stated as she shuffled over to V’s bed, the latter noticing how meek and fidgety she seemed to act. “Let’s say that over the last few weeks, me and Uzi have gotten to know each other pretty well during our mutual visits here.”

V watched as Lizzy slowly made her way to the chair Uzi had occupied only seconds earlier, eventually slowly sitting down. Lizzie looked nervous, V noticed, the way her eyes darted around like she trying to figure out what she wanted to say first.

“Lizzy, are y-“

“I thought you were dead.”

V blinked a few times, staring at Lizzy, who had her eyes clenched shut while digital tear ran down her visor. “Liz, I-“

“When Uzi and N told me how you sacrificed yourself, I didn’t know what to think. How to feel.” Lizzy continued, not letting V get a word in. “I was …angry, proud, scared, sad and-and-and…and then suddenly, we get news that you were found, alive but non-responsive and I just felt so hopeless and mad, and I-”

V reached out and grabbed Lizzy’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “Lizzy, calm down, you’re going to blow your voice box.”

Lizzy’s gaze dropped to her and V’s hands, fixated on them for a few moments. She looked up, tears still staining her visor. “It’s just …finding out your bestie might be …gone, it ….it hurt, V. It really hurt.”

“What do you want me to say?” V asked softly, rubbing her thumb over the back of Lizzy’s hand. “That I’m sorry?”

Lizzy shook her head. “No, Uzi and N told me why you did it. You saved them. You’re a hero. Just …don’t do that again. Ever.”

She took a deep breath and brought V’s hand to her cheek, leaning into the latter’s palm, smiling as V’s thumb caressed her cheek. “I’ve spend so many days on this very chair, just …talking to you about my day, asking you to wake up and trying to come up with what I would say once you woke up.” She let out a soft scoff. “I actually prepared a speech. I made a list of what I wanted to say. I practiced in front of the mirror. I was ready. And here I am …and I can’t come up with any of the things I wanted to say to you.”

V rubbed her thumb over Lizzy’s cheek, smirking. “This is why I prefer actions over words, so there can be no mistakes about my intentions.”

“You know what…” Lizzy stated as a playful smirk formed on her lips. “You’re absolutely right!”

Lizzy threw her arms around V and embraced her so tightly, the latter thought she was gonna snap in half. “Ugh, easy, Lizzy.” She laughed as she returned the hug. “I’m still healing. If you’re not careful, I- “

A kiss on her cheek made her stop dead in their tracks.

“I missed you so much, V.”

A kiss on the other cheek.

“And I am so happy that you’re awake, I feel like I’m gonna blow a fuse.”

Gentle hands take hold of trembling ones. A kiss on the palm of V’s hand makes her gasp softly as something tickles down her spine.

“And I know you are hurting, but I am here.” The other hand gets a kiss. “So are Uzi and N.” A giggle. “But mostly, me.”

Lizzy seems to have crawled almost on top of V without her noticing. V feels her core work overtime as two hands tenderly hold the sides of her head, her vision filled with Lizzy’s pink eyes gazing warmly and lovingly at her. V swallows down a lump as a trembling hand reaches up to Lizzy’s cheek.

“I thought you didn’t know what to say?” V asked, not really knowing what to say herself as she feels her mind numb down.

Lizzy leaned in closer to V’s face, the distance between their lips slowly growing smaller with every passing second. A soft giggle escapes her lips. “I improvised.”

Feeling suddenly emboldened, V started to lean in as well pulling herself and Lizzy closer to one another, until-

KNOCK, KNOCK!

Both girls squeaked in surprise when a knock on the door interrupted their moment, with Lizzy, her visor blushing brightly, quickly jumping from the bed and straightening out her clothes and fixed her hair. V cleared her throat – her blush rivaling the one that Lizzy was sporting. She quickly glanced over at Lizzy, who just nodded and tried to keep her voice as even as possible. “C-c’mon in!”

The door opened and Doctor Steen walked in, his eyes glued to a clipboard. “Miss V, I hope you’re feeling-“ His eyebrows raised in surprise when he saw Lizzy standing there. “Ah, Miss Casio, I thought that we would see you here today. How is our patient doing today?”

“A bit grumpy, like usual.” Lizzy stated nonchalantly. V was impressed with how casually Lizzy was acting, like their little tender moment didn’t happen – or wasn’t unfortunately interrupted.

“That checks out….” Steen muttered. “I’m sorry to ask this but could you leave the room, Miss Casio? I need to discuss some things with my patient.”

“But Lizzy just got here.” V stated, hoping that she didn’t sound too desperate to keep her …friend here. “Can’t you wait a –“

Lizzy grabbed V’s hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “It’s okay, V” She assured with a smile and a wink. “I’ll be back later and we …can pick up where we left up then, okay?”

V really hoped her blush lines weren’t that visible. “Okay.” When Lizzy planted a quick peck on her cheek, she really had to muster up all of her remaining willpower not to giggle. She couldn’t help but smile as Lizzy joyfully skipped out of the room, giving V a last look before she closed the door behind her.

“Well, someone is happy that her friend is awake.” Steen stated, a hint of amusement in his voice. “I swear, she must have been visiting more and longer than your two other friends. You’re lucky to have them.”

“I certainly am.” V mumbled, before shaking her head to bring herself back to reality. “So …what do you wanna discuss, doc?”

“Well, I was wondering if you had given some thought about the options going forward?” He stated.

V looked down at her legs; still unmoving, still unresponsive. She had given it some thought, but the uncertainty of it all scared her. Just the possibility that her only options could just not work made her uneasy. But …she realized that she couldn’t just wait for a miracle. Lizzy was right, her friends were there for her and they would lend a shoulder if things got rough. And she had a feeling that things would get very rough, very quickly.

V took a deep breath and looked her doctor in the eyes. “I have and …I have made a decision.” She gripped her bedsheets as a tingle ran down her spine. “I want to have the surgery.”

“Are you certain?” The doc asked. “It’s fine if you want some more time to-“

“No, I’m certain.” V stated, her eyes beaming with renewed steely determination. “I’ll do the surgery. I want you to replace my legs.”