#he's so passive aggressive

[alliesway]

"here's your orange juice, bitch."

[tea-twords]

Skull moment💀

[winterbirb]

Don't buy Netanyahu's new(?) memoir but if you do see it in the bookstore and have some free time, I recommend flipping through it to one of the pages where he talks about Obama, Kerry, or Biden. "Why?" Well, because it's funny to watch Bibi seethe and seethe and cope and seethe about how the evil Obama administration isn't cooperating with his blistering hatred of Palestine

[mogamingcanthink]

No one:

My math teacher, seeing me volunteering for 2 hours at conferences: well, I'm glad you're spending your time here rather than at home working on your calculus homework

Like boy I have an A in your class and 0 missing assignments, I have been on top of it and I just hand delivered you multiple cookies. I have like 6 missing assignments in English because adhd is stupid and that teacher didn't say a word because he a real one

[emkini]

AZULA GET BACK HERE-

Any fire siblings concept that gives them this vibe is an automatic favorite 

[nerdpoe]

fucking shit here's another one

danny is heir apparent to the realms, and while he cannot be summoned as he has not been crowned yet, he can still receive gifts.

bear with me

as he is heir apparent, his will is mirrored by the infinite realms. so in the middle of English class, as he's staring at Mr. Lancer, his deep, resonating thought is

"Fuck man I don't get any of this, I need like, a really good English tutor."

meanwhile, in the batcave, constantine goes fucking rigid and stares at Red Hood, who he just knows that the High King wants for some reason or the other.

"Hood, were you aware that the High King of the Infinite Realms wants you handed to him on a silver platter?"

"What."

meanwhile all over the world English professors and teachers and straight A students are going missing and turning up in Amity of all places.

cultists are confused because like, normally the King of Death wants cheeseburgers and frenchfries, but now it wants people? weird but alright, they'll send over people they guess.

[howlsnteeth]

and are you really okay? are you really okay?

[p4nishers]

i am a huge advocate of aziraphale being a bitch i encourage and actively support it actually

[dizzybizz]

the game dialogue:

the dialogue in my head:

[ruporas]

special operatives (silly interaction beneath read more)

[ID: Digital Art in color of Trigun Maximum, characters included are Wolfwood, Elendira, and Legato in a casual meeting situation. The piece consists of orangey yellow lighting and purple shadows. Wolfwood sits on the left side, facing Elendira who’s on the right. He’s seated on a plain wooden chair with one knee up and he’s holding the strap to his Punisher in his left hand while his right sits against his thigh, He has an irritated expression as he speaks to Elendira. Elendira is sitting in a fancier seat, her right arm rests against Wolfwood’s propped up knee, her left hand holds her suitcase. She’s sitting cross legged with an amused expression. Legato can be seen in the back at the center of the image in his mobile body case, one of his eyes shown to be glaring at Wolfwood. End ID]

[ID: Sketch, uncolored comic. Elendira says to Wolfwood, “I’m not telling you to dedicate yourself to him, but just accept the situation at hand. We could get along better if we were on the same page.” Wolfwood responds, “Don’t peg me me for an optimist. I’m not dumb. But, I’m also not going to just live in resignation. Plus, I don’t have any interest in getting along with ya.” Elendira coos, “Aw, you sure? I have a wonderful shoulder to cry on when the weak people you’re trying to protect eventually dies in the coming months. Though, I guess it’s fine. Someone like you might just die before then anyway...” She snickers in her hand while Wolfwood is speechless and just glares. Legato is faintly drawn in the back, glaring at Wolfwood, muttering “worthless” repetitively. End ID]

[artiststarme]

Steve had always wanted a dog. He wanted to cuddle on the couch, tug of war with old socks, and play catch in the yard. Most of all, he wanted a friend that would love him unconditionally.

So when he and Eddie got their first rundown house on the edge of Hawkins, he wanted to get a dog. They had a yard, savings in the bank, and plenty of time to spare between Eddie’s gigs and Steve’s school. He wanted a dog.

Eddie, though, wanted a cat. He was never a huge dog-lover. He didn’t really like the way dogs seemed so attached to their humans, they were too needy. He wanted a cat that kept to itself 23 hours of the day before finding its favorite person for minimal scritches and pets before disappearing once again to be a cat.

They were at an impasse. Neither one was backing down and after a two day silence streak, they reached a compromise. They would get a dog. Eddie could be reasoned with on the condition that they got a golden retriever because if he got a dog, you better believe it was going to be Steve’s twin.

With his acceptance, Steve brought home a puppy and named her Cinnamon. In a need to wreak havoc however, Eddie called her Van Halen and she only ever answered to that.

Years later when Van Halen was fully trained, Steve got his revenge. Eddie brought home a cat named Ozzy and Steve saw his chance. He called her exclusively Cuddlebug and from then on, she only answered to that.

It was so much worth it, seeing the grimace and full-body sigh Eddie took whenever he called her name. He learned the hard way that Steve holds a mean grudge (and usually gets payback in unexpected ways).

[istadris]

Less "Mario would be angry and disapproving of Luigi's crush on Bowser"

More "Mario is as much of a silly little man as Luigi and his natural reaction to all of his baby bro's crushes is to give big thumbs ups and step in only when it's necessary, leading to harmless situations like "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KIDNAPPED BOWSER"

"He got angry when I knocked at his door and attacked me so I had to knock him out."

"BUT WHY DID YOU KIDNAP HIM??"

"His kids weren't happy that I knocked him out and they tried to kill me so I picked him up and ran."

"BUT WHY??"

"Luigi. My bro. Mio caro frattelino. I love you very much but if i don't give you a nudge you will bury yourself in sand and starve before you make the first step."

"So you kidnapped Bowser instead ??"

"Maybe ??? That wasn't really planned !!"

[sweepingboy]

modern au fengqing is real because in their world therapy exists while in original universe they just have pei ming and his only advice is to get laid

[cellgatinbo]

pac's reaction when he purposefully pointed out and dismissed spreen in front of fit 💀

[perhapsapremise]

True Detective 1x03 The Locked Room

[dvrcos]

Aftg becomes increasingly more funny when you imagine the foxes talking with a bit of a southern twang