#he's still mad though because goddammit he said to have her home before dark

[neven-ebrez]

15x01, a look at the future through the past

Back home! I watched the episode last night and rewatched it just now. I’m sorry to say that I was baseline bored on most levels but the second time through things felt better (yay!) even if the bland factor was still there for me personally (I’m bored with most ghost stuff from SPN these days). Imo the characters basically served the plot of 15x01 instead of the other way around which is very Game of Thrones-y and 1000% not what I’m here for but I won’t talk about the details of that because I’m sure no one wants to hear that and I’m also sure things won’t stay that way long so I’ll talk about some other things instead. There are some things I can tell are a thing but I don’t know exactly what the shows means in depicting them, and others where I’m more confident in my interpretation so here we go.

I’m like 99% sure the demon in Jack is actually Chuck and that he’s basically trying to maintain his torture (I mean... the guy admitted to being a torturer ffs) of the Winchesters with the best viewing seat possible as it were (he even tells Dean point blank he’s a “fan”). For some reason only Dean and Cas got the focus for this (torture) tho and not Sam. With Dean it was the demon reminding him of how dark and brutal Dean can be himself (via his time with Alastair). Dean blows that off pretty quick and isn’t too visibly effected, commenting that it was a long time ago. With Cas the torture came in the demon’s possession of Jack himself, Cas saying bluntly that he can’t even look at Jack and that demonic possession is basically defilement. Cas is clearly more effected and Dean’s harsh “Jack is DEAD!” tonally recalled S13 in many ways. Also oddly the demon admits Dean is gorgeous but not the same is said of Cas, with the demon insulting him instead. Two interactions. Two wildly different responses. It’s the demon putting Dean and Cas at odds without any interaction needed from them themselves, though the latter comes in spades and is the only focused on “true” conflict of the episode, set against soft Sam/Dean exchanges.

The blend of Cas’ angelic nature along with his human nature was also heavily, heavily highlighted in the episode. It was probably the most highlighted thing in fact. Cas smiting and healing. Cas shooting a gun and throwing rocks. Cas tells Dean he wouldn’t starve to death in the crypt (which, on a side note, has huge Buffy vibes for me, along with Belphogor (sp?) calling the Hell rip or whatever the “Hellmouth”). Cas can see the demon’s demonic face easily despite episodes like 14x01 (also written by Dabb) where he can’t see a room full of them (I think I argued back then that Cas was willingfully trying to ignore and was annoyed with his angelic nature). Cas’ angelic side gets another highlight when Sam accidentally shoots Cas and he doesn’t get truly injured. This particular scene seemingly serves no other purpose other than to highlight Cas’ difference (as non-human) in general. Emotionally tho, Cas’ human side is on full display. He’s worried about the town’s people. He’s annoyed with both Sam and Dean for different reasons at different points. Cas bodily removes the demon from sharing the same space as him because the demon upsets him. Cas can not even LOOK at “Jack” but Dean (and Sam) can. As I said, it’s similar structurally to how S13 handled Dean dealing with Cas’ death in comparison to Sam moving on from it. It functions to show that for Cas his relationship with Jack is different from Sam and Dean’s, however otherwise similar in the fact that TFW all see Jack as their child, their family. It’s exactly like how Cas is different to Dean as compared to Sam.

Back onto demon “B” whatever tho. Interestingly, we never see the demon smoke into Jack. Then he just “”happens”” to know every spell needed to help the Winchesters but for Dean and Cas two things are required for sacrifice/gathering. In each, one component is dead-like and protecting (salt, goofer dust) and the other channels life/creation (a heart and angel blood). Each time there’s a duality in play. Curiously Sam is not involved in any of this with the demon for whatever reason, making the demon (within the season’s structure as presented so far) a primary component of Dean and Cas’ differences. They are tests of free will for them specifically in a way. What will each person “freely” give/obtain for the demon? To me, it just all screams this thing/demon is really just God fucking with them in every way he can but while maintaining some ally aligned position physically. It’s Chuck’s literal MO.

Also. The show is back to Dean blanketly treating Cas like shit. Which we know happens in waves constantly but as a Cas fan it’s still annoying to watch for the umpteenth fucking time. And they haven’t even pinpointed the *exact* reason here for all the snapping (yeah, pacing, I know). The audience has to do some connecting the dots here I feel. They have to have a certain understanding of how Dean needs Cas. I *think* the takeaway is that Dean uses Cas as an emotional punching bag when he’s actually mad at himself and that instead of getting so angry with himself these days that Dean’s decided yelling at Cas is a better/healthier way for him to deal with himself. Which is absolutely unfair and devastating to Cas, but it’s what Cas (unfortunately) has become to Dean. It’s like when he told Cas he was dead to him at the end of S14 because of Jack killing Mary. Dean’s really mad at he, himself, for ignoring the warning that was always there. Not really Cas. But Dean has yet to apologize and/or rectify this. This is the (ongoing) problem for Dean and Cas. Point blank.

At this point if I was Cas I’d just leave and not come back. He doesn’t deserve the way Dean constantly treats him. Dean doesn’t “need” Cas like this but he’s become comfortable using him like this. This is so jarring from the understanding Dean shows Cas in late S12. And from the grief arc he has in S13, followed by the relief he shows when Cas returns. Dean never learns how to properly “claim” Cas, however. Looks like this time instead of killing Cas the show (like in S8) is gonna have Cas choose to stay away (after 15x03?) I guess, prompting Dean to do some reflecting or whatever following this (What is Cas to me? Why do I actually need him? How should I treat him?). But honestly I’m not thinking of the reflecting right now. Or the “after” or whatever. I’m just thinking about how shitty Cas is being treated RIGHT NOW and it 1000% makes me wanna just drop the show and not watch anymore until it’s over. I’m just not interested in torturing myself for months watching this slowly drag out but apparently I’m so masochistic and love Cas so fucking much that I will. GODDAMMIT

Onto “pipes” I guess. This is where I point out that I don’t know what the show is going for here but I’ll throw around some ideas. Pipes had a lot to do with the episode. Sam thinks he hears water flowing in a pipe in the crypt and they think they can escape through the sewers. Wrong. Later, Sam tells the sheriff that a pipeline burst near the town. Lies. And lastly there’s a plumbing truck outside the home where the clown ghost slaughtered the birthday party (uh... where’s the bodies btw?). So everywhere we have the imagery of pipes bursting and needing to be fixed. Which, water has nothing to do with Hell, not really. I guess the Hell “rip” is kinda acting like a burst pipe?? Water is usually associated with angels/Cas/change tho. My best guess is that it’s repurposed Michael imagery since good ol’ Bel-whatever let us know Michael’s cage door is busted open and he’s just sitting there for now apparently. I’m not confident in my interpretation here at all though. All I can tell is that busted pipes as imagery (something likely associated with lying/wrong) for something is a thing.

In general I’m going to say 15x01 didn’t even feel like a Dabb episode to me. I honestly wouldn’t have guessed he wrote it. Since I didn’t care about the random people under attack (women running and scared and not tougher is always a hard sell for me personally) I found myself frequently saying “why aren’t they doing _______?” a lot during the episode. Ghosts needing to run? Why? I mean, I get the show wanted to show how the magical border worked but this could have been done in many other more effective ways utilizing tension more. It almost felt like the show didn’t know what to do with its S1 self and so visually everything ended up looking so very incredibly cheesy and not just in the way the colors are no longer desaturated. It literally looks like the show can’t go back into what it was. We saw this visually with a sign that cropped up in several shots as Sam and Cas tried to get the girl and her mom to safety. It was a cul de sac sign.

Here’s a video on why cul de sacs as a design became popular. In short, following the rise in popularity of the automobile neighborhoods are designed for safe car use, above all else. They don’t want outsiders passing through and they want things to be slower. When cars got popular streets were redesigned away from the traditional city “grid” (where accidents happened at intersections most commonly) with features that instead had safety in mind. I choose to interpret this as a visual comment on the show’s design. The Sam n Dean show is like a city grid, dangerous, while the Sam, Dean, Cas, Rowena, and Jack show offers more “safety”. That’s why we get it framed like this imo, between Sam and Cas. Things looked one way before Cas, and another after. Things have changed from the grid and they aren’t going back, for a variety of reasons.

Since the episode title recalls the movie Back to the Future I thought we’d have more of a visual/dialogue tie in tbh. I’ll try to talk about what we thematically did tho. BTTF is a movie about a boy overcoming his impulsiveness to be an alpha male who isn’t scared. This wasn’t a goal of the boy himself necessarily but it was an effect had upon him just the same by the story and his experiences. The movie bookends on this character development. In between the movie is about the disconnect of generations, how kids don’t see their parents in the way they see themselves and vice versa. It’s also about trying to set right familial relationships into proper categories. Marty’s mom, Lorene, accidentally falls in love with her own son instead of Marty’s father, George. Marty’s existence is then threatened and he must spend the movie trying to understand his parents and help them fall properly in love, thus saving and changing himself and them. We only get shades of these themes in the episode, like when the demon (in Jack’s body) calls Dean gorgeous and it makes him uncomfortable. Divorce (unhappy marriage) is also touched upon with the sleepover/makeover girls. In BTTF Lorene and George do not have a great marriage as George lacks confidence but Marty’s interactions with George in the past help change this in the future and their family is much better for it.

We are told in PR that Dean’s “conditioning” and him changing from that is a big part of what SPN is and has always been about. This is similar to how Marty must learn to properly deal with bullies (as he sees his father as weak and overcompensates to distinguish himself from him) and not letting them have power over you. Chuck is like Biff in this structural comparison. Biff is someone we watch become depowered over the course of the movie and I feel this is similar to what the show will likely do regarding Chuck. I could go further in depth here but these are the general thematic points this episode alone addresses. Only with Marty’s character development does he stand to have a happy life with his girlfriend, Jennifer. Back to the Future ends with another call to adventure and its script is widely regarded as “perfect” by many. Quite the structural comparison for SPN to be making. We’ll see. We’re currently stuck in the past for now. Onward, to the future...

[infinitycaprogers]

Midnight Train (B.B.)| CH 4

Pairings: Bucky x Reader General Summary: As the winter soldier is at large, a new neighbour pops up who never intended to be your friend. But as luck turns out, you’re quite the charmer. (This idea popped in my head while listening to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing.) Chapter summary: Warnings: none A/N: oh my God I AM SO SORRY. It has been a year. It’s been a busy one, but it’s no excuse. I come bearing gifts though! A chapter full of intrigue and fun. Word Count: 2.3k

Masterlist

Previously

“What is it, Barb? Not ready to handle the truth?” you added, firing back her own words as you turned and walked away.

“I’ll see you around, Jen.” You said over your shoulder.

As you turned the corner you could see from your peripheral vision that Barb was staring at you wide-eyed, baffled with your argument.

The last thing you heard was a “Holy crap.” being whispered by your best friend.

You arrived home after walking a few blocks from work, your win still resonating in your mind.

Even though you didn’t know The Soldier, you felt a sense of righteousness coming over you when you heard Barb talking about him like that. You had always hated people who judged others by how they were portrayed by the media. Newspapers look for sensation, just like people do.

The Winter Soldier was sensation.

It didn’t matter that Barb was right or not. She didn’t know him, just as she didn’t know how to keep her trap shut. Every time you heard her say something, it was some gossip or an opinion that didn’t help anyone.

Maybe this time she’d finally learn to not talk about people she didn’t know anything about.

Shouting welcomed you as you finished the last step to your floor. You sighed, already knowing where it came from.

Can they stop for a second or is this their way of communicating?

A door opened. You needed to make yourself scarce.

Looking down to the floor, you went as quickly as you could, chanting the same sentence in your head repeatedly.

“It’s not your business, it’s not your business, it’s not your bus- “

You bumped into a broad chest, making you stumble back and fall on your behind. You started apologizing while still focusing on the sore spot from falling.

“Shit, Steve. I’m sorry. I should’ve looked up when I heard a door open.”

“Uhm, no. I’m sorry.”

Well butter my nut, that’s not Steve.

“Oh!” you exclaimed as your eyes widened. “Sorry, you’re not Steve.”

“Not the last time I checked, no.” he chuckled.

You eyed his appearance; dark hair that reached his shoulders by the tips, with blue eyes, clear as day. his biceps bulging out of his red Henley.

A fine specimen indeed.

Your eyes reached his again, and you noticed his eyebrows furrowed.

You have to say something.

“y/n!” You stated.

“Bu-... James.”

“Bujames?” Weird flex but ok.

“No. Just James.” He said as he went through his hair with his hand covered in a leather glove. You couldn’t help but wonder why.

“Well, Just James. I’d love to chat, but you seemed to be going somewhere, slightly angry may I add. So, I’ll let you be.”

His brows went up, remembering that he was indeed storming off to wherever he was going, although he didn’t really seem to know where that was.

“Right! Yes. Going… somewhere. Right. So, I’m just going to… go now. Ok. Great.”

He backed away, gave you a small wave before putting his hand in his pocket and turned himself around. All the while you stood there until he was out of sight. You might have smiled a bit to yourself thinking about your new acquaintance.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

As Bucky went down the stairs, he couldn’t help but wonder who she was.

She looked familiar, although he couldn’t place her. Maybe Steve knows?

No. He was still mad at the little punk; though he could hardly still call him that.

Steve grew up a lot since the 40’s. The super serum gave him amazing abilities, but it was still Steve at heart. He claimed that a great man once made him promise to always remain the same;

Not a good soldier, but a good man.

Bucky tried to live by the same words now. He realized that being on the run wasn’t going to be easy. With Steve by his side, he might pull it off.

But was he worth saving?

Bucky couldn’t answer that question. Even now, the thought of killing people who could betray him entered his mind far too easy.

This was why they had their latest fight.

After Steve went to talk to y/n, Bucky couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. His friend said it was because he had to look over his shoulder all this time, but his gut told a different story. Bucky said to eliminate her. It was an unreliable string that could lead to a lot of people who were searching for them to his hideout. But Steve wouldn’t hear it. He said that there was no way that they could do that.

This arguing had been going on now for the last two days. Until Bucky had enough of it and stormed out.

That’s when he bumped into you.

You.

He couldn’t kill you even if he wanted to.

He decided that he needed to get to know you.

You looked just like her.

Over a few months' course, you and James grew closer.

It started by greeting each other in the hall several times. Sometimes you even chatted a bit. Luckily you seemed to have the same schedules since you almost saw him every morning. You learned his nervous tics, his likes and dislikes. You could even get a laugh out of him sometimes.

There was that time where you came up the steps of your apartment after a long shift at the hospital when you saw your dark-haired neighbour shouting profanities at his door;

“Goddammit! How long do I have to stand here putting my freakin’ key in your hole until you let me in?”

“Jesus, James, at least buy me dinner first.”

He looked up at you, his eyes still set in an angry tone.

How long had he been trying to get that door open?

“y/n, hey. My door won’t open. I- I’d stomp it open, but I really can’t afford to get a new lock. Or anything for that matter.” He laughed sheepishly, raking his leather gloved fingers through his hair.

You learned it was a way to tell when he was nervous. Which was basically every time you saw him.

“Why don’t you just come over at my place? At least until Steve gets here.”

He smiled at you, nodding in agreement, and followed you to your door.

“Welcome in my humble abode. Take whatever you want from the fridge, though I doubt you’ll find much.” you smiled as you turned around and plopped yourself on the couch.

“Watch out for the little rugrat, by the way.”

“Rugrat?”

Bucky hadn’t even had time to say more or Nancy came in, wagging her curled up tail as best as she could. She made a sprint for the unfamiliar man and started sniffing his pants, panting as she arrived.

“She likes you.”

He crouched down to ruffle her little head and smiled up at you.

“The feeling’s mutual.”

You both sat down and watched a movie together. He started asking you about your life and what you do for a living, which you thoroughly enjoyed since you didn’t get to do that a lot. You only really had one friend in New York. Since you did everything together, she already knew what happened in your life. He seemed to listen intently at what you were saying as if he wanted to know all of it. When you asked him about his life though, he acted evasive, directing the conversation back to you.

After a while you both sat in comfortable silence, enjoying both the movie and each other’s company. When you heard the jingling of keys outside your door, it indicated that a certain super soldier arrived home.

“I better get going then.” James broke the silence, gesturing at the door.

You nodded in understanding, feeling a bit sad that your time together had ended already.

You knew you didn’t want this to end, but what could you do?

“Coffee!”

His eyebrows scrunched together. This is not how this was supposed to come out, y/n. make a sentence, dammit.

“Have coffee! W-with me, I mean.” You stumbled over your words. “Would you like to go and grab coffee with me? Sometime?”

His face relaxed, calmly starting to shake his head.

Uh-oh. Not good.

“Y/n, I’m sorry but I can’t.” It’s obvious he saw your reaction turning sour because he started panicking for a bit. He held out his hands in front of him, trying to soften the blow for you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to! I do! I just don’t really go outside that much. I try to... eh… avoid it.”

Well, at least it’s not because he doesn’t want a date. God, y/n. Stop thinking like that.

“Oh! Well, what if we have coffee at our own little coffeehouse?” you suggested. “I make a mean cappuccino.” You winked, trying to make light of the conversation. Realization dawned on him. He seemed to be into that. He agreed to each make something to go with the coffee, meeting up the day after tomorrow. Since you were meeting up with Jenny in the morning you had to skip a day.

He was starting to grow on you, though.

“I’m still amazed y/n, okay? The woman needs to stick her nose in her own business and you telling her to do it was even better!”

The cold crawled in when a bell jingled at the door. Chattering around you started to pick up, indicating the rush had reached its peak. A whiff of ground coffee beans came into your nose. A barista shouted out names left and right.

You loved the smell of coffee in the morning.

“We all know Barb can be a gossip. She just had to be told who we should talk about. Which we don’t, of course.”

Jenny leaned back, coffee in hand. You could tell a smirk was starting to form on her lips.

“Who knew you could talk back like that? Maybe I rub off on you, after all.” She winked. A sign of how proud she was. She’s weird like that.

“Okay, we get it. I can mouth off. “It wasn’t like you to put someone in their place like that. But something came over you when Barb was talking bad about the Winter Soldier. Not like he needed protecting. “Can we just drink our coffee in silence if you’re going to talk about this for the rest of the time being?”

“Right! Ok. Sorry.” Jenny apologized, moving on to her next topic of choice. “Did you meet anyone new in your apartment, recently? Like a cute guy?” Her eyebrows wiggled, obviously indicating more than just wanting to talk about Mr Renly’s plants getting ruined by a mystery cat who found her way up to the fifth floor.

What else did she know about James? Sometimes you felt like she knew things were happening to you before you even knew it. Best friends do have a secret link.

“Well,” you began. “James couldn’t open his door, so he had to wait until Steve helped him out. I let him in.”

You saw her smirk getting even wider at that, but you began to protest. “I couldn’t just leave the guy in the hallway, Jen! It was cold!”

“Sure. I’d let a guy in my apartment as well if he was this god of a man.”

You drank the last of your coffee, setting the mug down and crossing your arms. Honestly, you could act like you didn’t see it. Who were you kidding, though? He looked like he was in the prime of his life and spent every day in the gym. Without spending every day in the gym.

“yeah, okay. So maybe he is. But that’s not why I l- “

You were interrupted by your phone ringing in your pocket. Checking your screen, you saw your father calling you. You sighed before accepting the call.

“Hey, dad.”

“Y/n. I’d like to come over sometime.” His measured voice didn’t predict much good.

“Why? When?”

“This Week? Say Friday.”

Two days till he comes. You can prepare.

“Sounds good. Will Callie come with?” you’d love to see your sister again. You Facetimed, but it’s not the same as in real life.

“Yes.”

“Okay, great! See you then. Love you.”

“You too.” came through the phone, while an immediate click followed, ending the call. You put your phone back in your pocket. Jenny looked at you with worried eyes. She shouldn’t. It’s always like this.

“My dad is coming over.” You said. Not that it needed to be said. Your face talked for you.

“I heard.”

“He’s bringing Callie.”

Jenny tried to lift your spirits. “That’s good, right? You can see her again! It’s been some time.”

You stood up, letting Jenny know that the conversation was over for today. “Time to get our nursing on.”

She knew you were a bit rattled, so she let it rest. Only one thing could help.

“Sleepover tonight?”

“Sleepover tonight.”

Read Chapter 5 HERE!

feedback is always greatly appreciated xoxo

tags: @marvel-fan-queen @buckybarnesbeans @superhero2552

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

#50 “Sorry I woke you up.” with Nathan Young? I need some fluff tbh.

Pairing: Nathan x Gender-Neutral Reader

Word count: 1389

Warnings: Swearing

“It shouldn’t be allowed to make us work outside when it’s so fuckin’ cold!” Kelly bitched as the group sought shelter back inside the community centre. Not that it was much warmer. The heaters had broken down weeks ago, and no one had thought to get them fixed because you were in the middle summer, and it wasn’t like it was the UK where the weather could change at a drop of a hat or anything like that. Oh, wait…

“We are being punished, guess they don’t care about making us comfortable,” Simon chimed in and getting an eye roll from everyone.

“They still got a duty of care or whateva, don’t they!?” Kelly groused, throwing herself down into a wheelchair and crossing her arms across her chest.

“Yeah, shut up, Barry! What do you know anyway?” Nathan grumbled.

“It’s…It’s Simon,” Simon protested.

“It’s Simon,” Nathan mocked, making a face. “Whatever, Barry.”

“Leave him alone, Nathan!” You shoved him just hard enough to make him stumble back a couple of steps and raised an eyebrow daring him to talk more shit. Luckily he knew better than that, so just huffed and pulled another face, and went to try and loot something out of the nearby vending machine.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled at Simon, clapping his shoulder as you went and got changed with the others.

Nathan was still at the vending machine when you were done, arm twisted up inside, trying to grab a dislodged pack of crisps. You frowned as you approached, hugging your jacket around you tightly. The sun was still up, but it was already close to freezing, with the night set to get even colder, and you didn’t like the thought of Nathan spending it here with no heat. The…thing the two of you had was still new, not much more than a few shared pizzas, and you didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, but you couldn’t help being concerned either.

“Why don’t you spend the night at mine?” You suggested, leaning against the machine.

Nathan bolted upright, eyes narrowing, “Why? You’ve not invited me over before.”

“Because it’s fucking cold as balls in here? And warm in my flat? I’ll cook us tea and we can have some beers.”

For a moment, he looked like he was going to say yes, but then Alisha and Curtis came into view, and you knew you were doomed. Stubborn prick was never going to admit he wouldn’t be fine by himself in front of the others.

True to form, Nathan spotted them and immediately blew a loud raspberry. “I don’t need any help! I’ll be fine right here thank you very much! My muscles’ll keep me warm!” Nathan flexed his arm, making a point of kissing the bicep.

Alisha snorted, “My gran has more muscles than you, idiot.”

“Let me meet her and she’ll get one more,” Nathan retaliated immediately, winking as he grabbed his crotch.

“Ugh, fucking weirdo.” Alisha rolled her eyes, top lip curling up in disgust. “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

You watched the other two leave, before looking back at Nathan, “So that’s a ‘no’ I take it?”

“Yeah, it’s a no. Alpha males like me don’t need any such fancy commodities.”

It was starting to get too late to argue. You didn’t want to miss your bus and end up having to walk home. Rolling your own eyes, you sighed. “Whatever then. See you tomorrow if you haven’t turned into an icicle.” You turned and left Nathan by himself, waiting until you were in the warmth of the bus before sending him a text with your address. Just in case.

~

It was just after midnight when a noise woke you from your sleep. For a moment you thought you must’ve dreamt it, but then it happened again. A scrabbling noise and…grunts? Coming from the hallway. What the fuck?

Grabbing the bat you kept by your bed, you crept out into the darkness, slowly following the noises. You reached the doorway to the hall and peered around. You couldn’t make out much, but you definitely saw someone trying to worm their way in through the catflap the previous tenants had left behind. Reacting before they had too much of a chance, you jumped into the hallway, swinging the bat down on where you hoped the person was.

“Ow! Jesus Christ what the fuck!?”

You knew that damned accent anywhere.

Switching the light on, you found yourself proven correct. Lying on the floor, half mangled in the catflap was Nathan. “Goddammit, you bastard! Get out!” You helped push Nathan back through the gap, then quickly unlocked the door to drag him inside. “The hell were you doing?”

“The hell were you doin’!?” Nathan protested, rubbing the shoulder you’d hit. “You invited me!”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting you to come at the middle of the night and break in through the damned catflap!”

“I didn’t want to wake you, okay? I was just gonna sneak in and crash on the couch, and not disturb you.” Nathan looked surprisingly sincere during his confession, and dammit, it was impossible to be mad at him when he was like this.

“Idiot. Next time just ring the bell like a normal person, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nathan was still rubbing his shoulder, and you took a moment to actually take him in. He was shivering still, despite the heating running in your flat, though it wasn’t much of a surprise given he wasn’t in much more than a light jacket.

“Well since you’re here, you might as well come to bed.”

“The couch is fine…”

You raised an eyebrow, “You too chicken to share a bed with me?”

“No! Just wasn’t sure if you could handle sharing a bed with such a raw, powerful, sexy thing like me.”

Snorting a laugh, you shook your head. “I think I’ll be fine. Besides, don’t they say sharing body heat is the best way to keep warm?”

The trademark smirk crept back onto Nathan’s face. “Lead the way, m’lady.”

“Idiot,” you chuckled, taking his hand and guiding him back into your bedroom.

You clambered back into bed, watching as Nathan yanked off his clothes until he was just in underpants and a t-shirt. “What do you think?” He asked, lifting the front of his shirt and wiggling his hips.

“Eh, I’d say a solid seven out of ten. Maybe an eight at a push.”

“I am a ten!” Nathan acted offended as he jumped onto the bed and wriggled his way under the covers. He turned on his side, watching you in low light for a moment. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“You’ve not been sorry for a thing in your life.”

“Okay, yeah, but I am sorry about this.”

“Why?” You asked, rolling to face him. “You’ve pulled stunts way worse than this.”

“I didn’t want to piss you off!”

“You love pissing people off. It’s like your hobby.”

“Also true. But this is different.”

“How come?”

“You really gonna make me say it?”

“Say what? I have no idea.”

Nathan sighed, completely avoiding meeting your eyes. “I…I like you, alright? More than I’ve maybe let on. And I didn’t want to fuck it up.” The admission sounded almost painful, and honestly, it probably was. You knew him well enough to know that Nathan and emotions didn’t usually go well together.

“I like you too. Even though you’re an insufferable prick most of the time” you said, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips before he had a chance to react. Nathan kissed back, unsurprisingly eager to keep it going, but surprisingly less eager to push things further. Probably down to the time and the fact he’d walked in the cold all the way here.

When you broke apart, you smiled at him, watching as he tried to stifle a yawn. “Let’s get some sleep.” Nathan nodded, and the two of you tangled up in each other’s arms, hiding away from the icy winds outside. “I’m gonna wake in the morning with a boner digging into me, aren’t I?”

“Definitely.”

You laughed softly, pulling the covers around you both a little higher and tucked your head under his chin. Nathan was definitely an insufferable prick, but Lord help you, he was your insufferable prick.  

Send me a prompt and character and I’ll write a drabble of random length!

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Chapter Forty-Four:

The One When Sunny Misses Her Big Brother Because Klaus Just Isn’t Himself

 

 

Sunny Baudelaire spent the rest of the day in the worker’s dormitory worriedly staring at the door waiting for her brother to come back. As the minutes and hours went by, Sunny began to get more and more worried. She had never been to an optometrist’s office before, so she didn’t know how long appointments usually took. She imagined that it wouldn’t take all day especially in a desolate town like Paltryville. She imagined that Klaus was the doctor’s only client all day which really worried her. What if Klaus was right when he said that the eye-shaped building was not a coincidence and it was a sure sign of villainy. What if Count Olaf was there and he had successfully kidnapped her brother? What if Count Olaf wastorturing Klaus demanding to know her location and Klaus refusing to give it up? She could feel hot tears streaming down her face with each new darker theory as to why her brother wasn’t back yet. It did not make her feel any better to see Phil return without her brother. What made that situation for Sunny even worse was that without her brother, most people had no idea what she was saying. She was an infant, and although her communication skills were impressive for her age, but not that impressive. 

When she had crawled over to Phil and asked him several times, “Ubi?” which was her way of saying, “Where is my brother!?” He just looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. Apologizing to her for not understanding what she meant. She then tried simply saying her brother’s name but all Phil would say in return is “he is at the eye doctors,” Sunny rolled her eyes angrily. She knew where he was, but she was confused as to why Phil had returned without him. She thought Phil was a nice guy like Charles...there’s no way he’d just let her brother get kidnapped or tortured...right? Unless he was part of Olaf’s troupe. But as she stared at her optimistic coworker, she concluded that he wasn’t any of the troupe members in disguise. But then she wondered if he was a new member of Olaf’s troupe. Then she thought of Kronk, a nice friendly man that had helped the Baudelaires back at Uncle Monty’s house. She wondered for a second if Phil could be him. The children never got to see his face since he wore a beekeeper’s hat the entire time. But Phil seemed more cheery and shorter than the man who had helped him. But of course, Sunny wasn’t so sure. But if he was Kronk, then she had a feeling that he would’ve stayed with Klaus through the entirety of the optometrist appointment. 

As Phil began cooking dinner, Sunny followed him into the kitchen. “Suus fieri?” she asked, which was her way of saying, “What’s happening to Klaus?” but again, Phil looked down at his infant coworker and gave her a small smile. 

“You wanna help me in the kitchen while you wait for your brother?” he asked her. Sunny frowned and shrugged her shoulders looking again towards the door of the dormitory. “Maybe it’ll help take your mind off things…”

Sunny reluctantly agreed and raised her arms to indicate to Phil that she was fine with him lifting her up. 

“See! ‘Atta girl!” he said cheerfully as he knelt to pick her up. “Nothing wrong with finding a silver lining in a dark cloud. You know when I was younger, my Aunt Julia would cook with me.” 

Sunny nodded her head and watched as Phil got to work making the damp beef casserole. She was interested to learn how to make the casserole even if it wasn’t the best thing she’d ever tasted. She remembered all the times that she would watch one of her parents cook and bake and how intrigued she was. She frowned thinking about how it was just her and Klaus now. She gave a small chuckle when she realized that as she grows older she may be the one in charge of feeding her older brother because when it came to culinary skills, Klaus heavily lacked in that department.

Sunny tried her best to find a silver lining in her situation as she tried her best to communicate with Phil about different ingredients he should try to add to the casserole to give it a new flavor. She knew he couldn’t fully understand her, so she became accustomed to pointing at a spice, asking what it is to make sure she was right with her assumption and when she wanted him to test the spice or ingredient in the casserole. She would simply say ‘try’. She and Phil had tried different combinations of spices that Sunny had suggested so by the time the casserole was nearly finished, both he and Sunny were beginning to feel a little full.

But as they cooked,  Sunny couldn’t help but feel that Phil was wrong. She could not find a silver lining no matter how hard she tried. She was trying her best to be rational when it came to Klaus still not coming home. All Sunny wanted was for her brother to come home and be safe. 

She tried to remember her last conversation with him, trying to determine if it was one she was proud of. She frowned when she realized that it wasn’t. It was the exact opposite actually. The last conversation she had with Klaus was more or less an argument between the two siblings, which was rare...although Sunny noticed that these arguments were becoming more and more frequent since their parents’ death and she hated that. She remembered how bitter and icy she was towards Klaus. She had dismissed all of his concerns acting as though he was being childish and paranoid. Sunny was now believing that Klaus had every right to be paranoid and childish when it came to Count Olaf’s location and the Baudelaires’ safety. She knew deep down that no matter what Klaus had said when they first got here about Count Olaf arriving would be considered ‘good news’ this time. She knew that that was bullshit, just Klaus’ strange but morbid way of being optimistic. She knew that he feared Olaf more than anything, although she didn’t know completely why. 

She wiped a tear from her eye as she remembered exactly what she said to him in response to him theorizing that Olaf was the new foreman. After he had pleaded with her that all he was doing was trying to keep her safe. ‘Curam me!’ she had shouted at him in an impatient tone dismissing his fears, fears that Sunny knew were completely valid and rational, even if she didn’t know the full reasoning behind them. This was her way of saying, “Goddammit Klaus! I don’t need you to keep me safe! I can handle my own, pretty sure I’ve done enough to prove that! Worry about yourself!” Sunny essentially had told her big brother in the rudest way possible that she did not need him. Something that wasn’t true at all. She did need him. She needed him as much as he needed her. She feared that this...this cold, bitter statement would be the last thing she ever says to her brother. She couldn’t help but sob a little as she sat on the kitchen counter watching Phil put the giant casserole in the oven. 

“Te requiro,” she whimpered looking up at the ceiling, this was Sunny’s way of saying, “Klaus, I need you…” she knew her brother couldn’t hear her but she hoped her parents, who she hoped was looking down on her and Klaus, could hear her thoughts. Because deep down, she needs them, too. She needed her family desperately, but even someone Sunny’s age understood that her parents were never coming back and all she had left was Klaus. 

She sighed angrily realizing that Klaus only babies her because that is essentially what her parents had asked him to do. By forcing him to make that stupid promise, they ensured that Klaus would be overly stressed and never able to cope with the misfortune that he suffered. The moment he made that promise to them, it was like Klaus lost the right to breathe and focus on himself. Which Sunny didn’t believe was fair at all. She understood that as the eldest, Klaus did have a responsibility to look after her more than she should have to look after him, but the way her parents went about it made her angry. They essentially told Klaus to solely care about Sunny and not himself, which even someone as young as Sunny could see that that was not good for his mental state. Putting so much pressure on a twelve-year-old, who now probably feels like he has to be more of a father figure than a brother is simply wrong. Sunny wholeheartedly believed that her parents should be ashamed of themselves. 

Sunny wished she could convince her brother that protecting what remained of their family was a fifty-fifty job. Not a ninety-ten job. But nothing she did had convinced her brother so far. That’s why she had gotten so testy in mill right before Klaus’ glasses broke. She was tired of him acting like he was the sole protector. She now realized that she shouldn’t have been mad at Klaus, he was just following the wishes of their parents. She should’ve been mad at her parents, and she was. Which also conflicted Sunny heavily. She loved and missed her parents and it killed her to feel angry at them seeing that they weren’t ever coming back but she couldn’t help it. She felt this way because, in a sick, twisted way, they had also broken Klaus. 

Oddly enough, Sunny and Klaus shared the same secret desire. Sunny wished that Klaus, too, had an older sibling. Preferably a sister. That could love and protect him like he loved and protected her. Maybe someone a few years older than him, not an extreme age gap like he and Sunny...although if they did have a sibling that much older than Klaus, that sibling could just adopt them. But Sunny wished that there were three Baudelaires, to her that seemed like a good number. Not that she would want to force all of Klaus’ stress and issues onto someone else...but maybe Klaus could help this magical older sibling with some of the responsibility, that way the responsibility of protecting this family would be either an equal third for all parties involved or maybe a forty-forty-twenty ratio, which seemed a bit more likely. But Sunny understood that that was never going to happen. It was just her and Klaus against the evils of the world. Now she feared that it was just her. 

It can’t be just her! She told herself. Klaus would never leave you! But she just couldn’t believe it right now.

“Soups on!” Phil yelled and Sunny looked up a bit confused. 

“Beef?” she asked pointing at the casserole. 

Phil smiled, “it’s an expression more or less meaning that dinner’s ready,” he explained as she nodded. 

“Klaus?” she asked miserably.

“He’s not back yet,” Phil replied. “Maybe he’s on his way back now.”

Sunny nodded but she could still hear her beating heart. She was more than worried now. She knew that last night, Sir called lights out at around 6 p.m., she didn’t want to go to sleep without Klaus being there with her. She had to do that oncebefore and she hated it! When Olaf kidnapped her and shoved her in a birdcage in hopes of making Klaus more complacent towards the blatant child abuse and in hopes of coercing Klaus to hand over the Baudelaire fortune to him, Sunny had to spend one night sleeping in that birdcage while who-knows-what was happening to her brother. She knew deep down inside that that was the night that Klaus had changed. Because he was normal before she was kidnapped and he was seemingly broken when she was rescued. So she never wanted to sleep away from her brother ever again.  

As Phil set a plate for Klaus right next to her, he also handed her a plate of a little bit of casserole seeing that she and Phil had tried many bites and were practically full. Sunny moved her food around with her tiny fingers, glancing at the door the entire time. After dinner, Phil cleared off the table but Sunny stayed seated where she was.

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” Phil said rubbing Sunny’s head. She gave Phil a hopeful smile but didn’t say anything. “Why don’t you play a game to pass the time,” he said handing her a deck of cards. 

She shook her head. “No tanks,” She replied, continuing to stare at the door for the remaining time that the lights were allowed to be on. 

“Lights out!” Sir’s loud booming voice came from the loudspeaker. Sunny’s heart sank into her stomach as she watched as the dorm lights flickered off. 

“No,” She whimpered. Phil walked over to her to blow out some of the candles that were still lit.

“Sunny?” Phil said. 

“Huh?” she replied absentmindedly. 

“Lights out,” he replied giving her a small frown.

“Check?” she asked pointing out the door. Phil looked down at the infant as she raised her arms again indicating to Phil that she wanted to be picked up.

“I’m telling you, Sunny, you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Peas,” she asked with her best puppy dog face, this was her cutesy way of saying, “Pretty please.”

Phil sighed but picked up Sunny. Sir had announced ‘light’s out’ but Klaus had still not returned from the optometrist’s, and the young Baudelaire infant was rightfully worried sick. Phil carried her across the courtyard and helped Sunny peer out the wooden gate that led out to Paltryville, and Sunny was instantly dismayed to see no sign of her big brother. 

“Come on, Sunny. I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” Phil replied as he carried Sunny back into the dorm, closing the door behind them. He set her down on the Baudelaire bunk and she began looking out the window to watch for him, she was so anxious that it took Phil explaining to her that the window was not a real one, but one drawn with chalk. Phil continued to insist that she had nothing to worry about but no matter how many times Phil tried to tell her otherwise, all she could do was worry about her older brother. 

“Becer!” she exclaimed, “I think I do, Phil! I think I do have something to worry about. Klaus has been gone all afternoon and I am immensely worried that something awful might’ve happened to him.”

Phil looked at the younger Baudelaire orphan. “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand what you are saying but I assume that you are worried. Which is fine, I know that to children, doctors may seem scary, but like I told Klaus, doctors are your friends and they can’t hurt you.”

Sunny sighed. “Uh-huh,” she replied tiredly, even though she knew that Phil was entirely wrong. Sunny knew that her optimist coworker meant well by telling her that ‘doctors are her friends’, but Sunny was worried that the optometrist who worked in the eye-shaped building was somehow connected to Count Olaf, a man who would do unspeakable things to her and her brother. But it was useless to try to explain this to Phil cause not only would his optimism get in the way of understanding the dangers her brother could be in, but Sunny also had a communication barrier that halted any conversation she could have withanyone. 

Phil began walking away from Sunny after giving her one more smile. “Maybe you’ll wake up in the morning and he’ll be right next to you,” 

“Suski,” she replied sadly, which meant, “I hope so, Phil.” 

Sunny laid on the bottom bunk of the Baudelaire bunk eagerly waiting for her brother to come home as she stared up to the top bunk. In minutes, Sunny was surrounded by the noises of her coworkers snoring. She did not try to sleep, she fought her exhaustion. She refused to sleep when her brother could be in danger. She could feel her dismay growing more and more with each second that passed. Sunny made a squeaky, sad noise as she tried to imagine where Klaus could be and what was happening to him. But one of the worst things about Count Olaf is that his evil ways are so despicable that it was impossible to imagine what would be up his sleeve next. Count Olaf had done so many horrible deeds, all to get his hands on the Baudelaire fortune, that Sunny could scarcely bear to think what might be happening to her brother. As the evening grew later and later, the younger Baudelaire orphan began to imagine more and more terrible things that could be happening to Klaus while she lay helpless in the dormitory.

Finally, she heard the creak of the dormitory door and a beam of moonlight shine in. She sat up quickly in the Baudelaire bunk trying to see if it was her brother. A relieved smile appeared on her face as she realized that it was her brother. 

“Klaus!” she whispered in a loud tone. But he just stood there motionless by the door. “Klaus,” she called for him. But he just stood there like a zombie. She lowered herself off the bunk bed and crawled quickly to him. 

“Sollicitus!” she said to him, which meant, “Klaus! I was so worried! You were gone so long!” She immediately hugged his legs but to her surprise, he didn’t even acknowledge that she was there. “No specks,” she muttered, which meant, “Wait...you’re not wearing your glasses...are they still being fixed?”

He still didn’t acknowledge her. She didn’t understand why he was ignoring her. Her heart sank. Was this because I said I didn’t need him? It wasn’t like him to be this dramatic when it came to one of their arguments.

“Sorry,” she said to her brother hugging his legs tighter. He continued to stay motionless, staring into the empty void of space. He was starting to freak her out. “Klaus?”

“Pingo?” she asked, which meant, “Klaus...what was it like inside the eye-shaped building?”

Weirdly enough, her brother who was barely blinking began to smile. 

“Hap?” she asked, which meant, “Why are you smiling?”

“I’m happy to be here, sir,” He muttered so low that Sunny wasn’t sure that she heard him correctly.

“No sir,” Sunny explained, “Sunny.” 

Klaus, once again, did not answer. He merely looked at his sister with wide, wide eyes, as if she were an interesting aquarium or a parade.

“ Klaus! ” she yelled. 

He did not answer again.

“Hoax,” she explained desperately, which meant, “While you were gone, I heard Sir talking to Charles. He said he made a deal to cover something up. There’s something bigger going on here.”

Again, he didn’t answer.

“ Klaus! ” Sunny yelled desperately.

“Shh!” one of the mill workers yelled.

“Be quiet!” another grumbled.

“Klaus...peas,” Sunny pleaded as her brother continued to stand there motionless.

She frowned and tugged on his pant leg. “Somnum?” she asked him, which meant, “I guess it’s been a long day. Would you like to go to sleep?”

“Yes, sir,” Klaus said as he started to walk towards the Baudelaire bunk. Sunny noticed that even his steps were awkward.

“Sis!” she whispered loudly as she followed him, which meant, “I’m not sir! I’m your sister!” 

Klaus laid down in the bunk staring up at the top bunk. “Shoos,” Sunny pointed out, which meant, “Your shoes are still on…”

Klaus didn’t react to what she said at all. Sunny used her teeth to gently untie Klaus’ shoes and pull them off her brother’s feet which was not easy for someone her size. 

“Night,” Sunny whimpered as she used her teeth to pull the blankets over herself and her brother. She snuggled as close to him as she could, even kissing him on the cheek. But Klaus didn’t respond. He didn’t say goodnight. He didn’t say he loved her, he didn’t even kiss her forehead like he used to, and he didn’t even put his arm around her in the protective way that he had done ever since the fire. She looked at her brother with the same face that she had when Mr. Poe had informed the Baudelaire siblings about the fire. A face that detailed grief, sadness, and loss. She stared at her brother and although he was physically there with her, it seemed to her that she had lost him. Like the Klaus she knew was gone forever like her parents. “Loves,” she whispered as she watched Klaus close his eyes drifting away to sleep. She watched the way his mouth quivered, just as it had always done when he was fast asleep. She was honestly relieved to have him back, even if she didn’t feel relieved. 

Sunny laid there in her own miserable thoughts as she stared at her empty shell of a brother. She kept hearing herself argue with Klaus in her mind like it was on an endless loop. All Klaus was doing was keeping that stupid, unfair promise he made to our parents...and I yelled at him telling him that I didn’t need him. She thought to herself as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. He wanted to leave and run away...but I convinced him to stay. Now he’s acting strange. She choked on her sobs. This is all my fault.Sunny told herself as she softly rubbed Klaus’ forehead wishing that everything was normal between them. This is all my fault...and there’s no one else to fix it. Sunny sighed. She looked upwards and thought about her parents again. If her parents weren’t here to help her fix Klaus and she didn’t have another older sibling to help her save Klaus, then Sunny knew it was up to her to fix her brother. 

“Oath,” she muttered, which was her way of saying, “Mama...Dada...I promise I am going to fix this and take better care of Klaus. From now on this is a fifty-fifty deal.” There. Now both Baudelaire siblings made nonsensical promises to their dead parents. Sunny thought. Sunny knew, of course, that her parents had never guessed, when they forced Klaus to make that ridiculous promise, that the sort of trouble the siblings would find themselves in would be so ostentatiously--a word which here means “really, really”--horrendous. But this time, Klaus was the one clearly in trouble, and Sunny could not shake the feeling that it was her fault and it was also her responsibility to get him out of it.

She glanced at her brother one more time as her eyelids threatened to close. She had never seen her brother act so strangely before.”No leave,” she whispered to Klaus, which was her way of saying, “Come back...don’t leave me,”  as she huddled against her brother, peering at him as he slept, no matter how many times she looked at him, it still felt like her big brother had not returned and it was because of that that Sunny Baudelaire cried herself to sleep that night. Hoping and praying that when she woke up everything would be back to normal.

[lord-explosion-baku]

Dancing’s Not A Crime (Unlesss You Do It Without Me) pt. 5

Pairings: Bakugou x fem!reader, Todoroki x fem!reader

You flirt and tease with a certain hotheaded classmate of yours without realizing how far it has escalated and someone gets a little jealous.

Warnings: Violence, swearing

A/N: I’m in HELL. I just want someone to kiss already goddammit. I think I liked this?? It might be short?? I’m mad that it takes hours to write when it only takes a few minutes to read. The chapter after this is gonna be so fun tho oh my god. Oh and I guess I’m revealing the reader’s quirk. I am bad at science. Don’t hate me. This is basically going to be the quirk I use for all my fics because I’m not that imaginative. Again, I didn’t proofread for I am a toad.

Part 4

Quirk: Magic. You can cast spells when understanding the elemental, physical, and magical properties of whatever you’re trying to make happen. To activate a spell you use the Latin word for the associated spell and focus on what you want it to do. When you need a spell to last longer that it would you use your finger to draw runes into your skin creating a semi permanent mark on your body. Your quirk is powerful but each spell you cast comes at a price. Neutral magick drains you, causing you to lose excess amounts of energy the more you use your quirk, to the point of fainting. Dark magick or using any spell to harm others causes a major personality shift (one that you’re constantly avoiding) and you can temporary lose yourself to your power (you don’t yet know how to work on that.) Light magick effects your emotions in ways that usually aren’t appropriate for situations in public. You feel blissful, or in love, or euphoric. It’s a high you didn’t ask for.

You have a love/hate relationship with your quirk. You loved that you had a quirk that could one day make you a pro hero however it’s the only tie that you had to your biological parents that only a few people knew were villains.

Todoroki’s POV:

He was absolutely enchanted. Watching the way your body moved, hips flowing to the beat of the music, hands slowly waving in the air, sure there was a lot of people dancing but he only saw you. You lit up the room.

Stupid, he thought to himself. You had asked him to dance and he said no without any explanation. He knew he’d be stiff and awkward, he knew he wouldn’t know what to do, but at least he would’ve been with you. You would’ve helped him through it and at least he’d be near you.

And you looked so good.

His body tensed as he saw Kaminari dance a little too close to you. Todoroki didn’t care for Kaminari, he was barely a blimp on his radar, but he hated the way he was eyeing your body as you moved around him.

Watching as Kaminari put his hands on your hips he did not realize that he activated his left quirk causing the beverage in his hand to boil over and on to the table where he was sitting.

“Uh... Todoroki?” Izuku waves a hand in front of Todoroki’s face. “Are you alright?”

He watched as you kindly pushed Kaminari away from you, seeming to agree to dance with him but only at a friendly distance. “ I’m fine,” he reluctantly averted his gaze from you and dabbed at the mess with a napkin.

What was he doing? If an idiot like Kaminari could hit on you why couldn’t he just tell you how he felt? It was all just words he was very capable of forming. Even if you didn’t reciprocate those feelings at least then you would know? And you weren’t the type of person who would avoid him afterwards. He knew you cared about him and he knew that you loved him... in a way. Besides that, he has seen the way you’ve looked at him every now and again, for a few seconds at a time. You admired him. Your feelings for him couldn’t be strictly platonic, could they? He got up to get more napkins and peered back over to you.

His eyes narrowed as he watched Bakugou’s arms reach around your body. His heart pounded against his chest and he snarled while Bakugou whispered something into your ear causing you to bite your lip.

You only did that for him. That should have been him twirling you around the dance floor, not that obnoxious, power hungry, ape.

Without thinking, he started towards the two of you. The music ended. Bakugou had leaned in towards you. You didn’t back away. Todoroki quickened his pace, leaving a path of ice behind him. You closed your eyes. Todoroki felt his eyes sting, betraying his usual cool demeanor, as he ran towards you. He hated that smirk on that fuckers face as it inched towards to your slightly pursed lips. He was going to rip it off.

Pulling his right arm back he activated his quirk, ice encasing his fist, and he swung forward reaching Bakugou’s jaw right before the two of you could kiss.

-

Your POV

...

What?

...

There was a hush throughout the club. All eyes were on your friend who had just punched Katsuki Bakugou, of all people right, in the face. People started to whisper. Too many questions were asked. You felt numb.

Todoroki steps towards you, livid eyes boring into yours. “Y/N...”

“IF YOU WANTED TO DANCE,” Bakugou was already up. He grabbed a fist full of Todoroki’s collar and through him across the club and onto a pool table, “YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED!!”

Todoroki landed on his two feet on top of the pool table. He picked up a ball and threw it at Katsuki who quickly blasted it away from him and the crowd that was quickly scattering away from the fight.

“Sorry to let you down, Bakugou, but dancings not my thing. I just want to put you in your place.” Todoroki served forward throwing another ice covered ball nearly hitting Bakugou’s face. Though he dodged it, it came straight for you.

“Rigescunt indutae*,” you held your hand in front of your face and the ball froze mid air. You smacked the ball to the ground and tried to move forward but you couldn’t. You were so out of it, unable to focus on one thing, that you froze the ball in the air and your feet to the ground.

“S-stop,” You said, inaudible to the boyswhonwere screaming at and fighting each other.

Todoroki and Bakugou were at each other’s necks.

“She hates you,” Todoroki growled as he pushed Bakugou into a wooden barstool. “She says so all the time. She can’t stand you.”

“Maybe you don’t have that good of a read on her!” Bakugou grabbed the barstool and swung it into Todoroki’s side. The stool froze and with a kick Todoroki shattered it.

“Yo!! Bakugou!!!” Kirishima’s voiced called out as he made his way through the crowd who watched the boys as they tried to destroy each other. He was going to try to help.

“Back off, hair for brains, this is my fight.” He lunged forward knocking Todoroki down.

You had to do something. “Release,” your hands touched your heel and you ran towards the fight. Before Bakugou could punch Todoroki in the nose you lifted your hands at them and yelled, “Seperatum*!!”

Black tendrils wrapped around the torso of both boys pulling them away from each other. You had practiced this spell with Aizawa many times. He taught you the importance of binding your enemy when you had to defend yourself or stop them from doing harm.

“That’s enough.” Iida pushed his way from through the crowd. “This behavior is unacceptable and inexcusable for UA students. You all should feel shame, using your quirks when you’re not in school grounds. Destroying public property. Hurting each other. And you are trying to become heroes?”

Todoroki kept an even breath seeming calm but his eyes flared daggers at Bakugou who was thrashing around like an animal, trying to break free from your trap.

“THAT BASTARD HIT ME FIRST!”

“I don’t care who started what. As president of class 1-A, I have to ask that every UA student exit the premises. I’m sure the school board would like to discuss what to do with the two of you and and how to make amends with this establishment. We are leaving.”

Again, a silence fell. People started to slowly shuffle out. Iida stayed behind with you, Todoroki and Bakugou who were still restrained, and watched with his eagle eyes to make sure all UA students were leaving.

Bakugou was still thrashing about cursing to Todoroki, to Iida, and to himself so you released Todoroki first. He used his quirk to level out his temperature and he turned to you.

“I need to tell you something,” he almost whispered.

You took a moment to compose yourself. You stared at Bakugou who was watching the two of you. You closed your eyes and turned away from him. “Shouto, I can’t even look at you right now.”

You heard a sharp intake of breath. Then silence. Then the sounds of Todoroki’s footsteps walking away from you.

Once you knew he was gone you turned to Iida. “I’m going to make sure Bakugou gets home safe. I’m... sorry, Iida. I’ll make this okay. I know the owner of this place and... I don’t know. I feel responsible.” You voice cracked. “I’ll make it okay.”

Iida sighed. “A hero is not responsible for the actions of others. A hero can only be there to save others, to stop situations when they get out of hand.” He places a hand on your shoulder. “My older brother told me that once. Today you stopped things from escalating. I would deem that to be very heroic.”

After Iida left you finally lifted your restraints from Bakugou. Out of character he didn’t seem at all irritated anymore. In fact, he had a cocky grin as walked towards you, looking you up and down.

“Okay, asshole. What the fuck?”

~~~

* Rigescunt indutae- freeze

* Seperatum- separate

Part 6

Tag list: @colagirl5 @izzy206-2001 @chanelxberlinstark @funfettiiicake @fangirl-on-bitches @colorbookshd @doriichii @meggy126 @lilacbunni @fabulous-dani @quenixy @reliefofcomedic (you didn’t ask to be tagged but I’m doing it anyways bc I wanna fight.)

IF I LEFT YOUR TAG OUT PLEASE MESSAGE I AM SO DISORGANIZED AND I ONLY HAVE SCREENSHOTS OF WHO I THOUGHT ASKED TO BE TAGGED I AM A GOAT

[rainythefox]

Oh, Brother (RDR2 Fanfic CH.4)

Synopsis: 1885, Illinois. A young Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur wander into a country town following a lead to swindle a wealthy homestead and break their control over the town. But while scoping it out, Arthur encounters a young John Marston, setting fate in motion that will eventually become a rocky, yet loyal brotherhood. A short multi-chapter story revolving around how Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur met John. (Rated T for violence and swearing) (Mostly Adventure/Friendship/Humor)

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Chapter 4

"Arthur."

Arthur stirred, the voice soft and distant. He turned over, yawning and pulling his blanket closer to his face.

"Arthur!"

He groaned. "What…"

A kick smacked his leg, and he awoke instantly. He sat up with a grunt, rubbing his face. "Sonova bitch, Hosea. What?!"

"The boy? Have you seen him?"

"Not since last night," Arthur mumbled, crawling out of his tent with a loud yawn. "He-" Arthur bit his tongue, suddenly red-faced and not daring to openly admit John crawled into his tent last night. The ribbing he would receive would be torturous. "He was asleep on his pallet, but that's the last I saw him. Why, what's goin' on?"

He saw Bessie and Susan looking around camp, their hushed voices exchanging as their eyes bounced around spot to spot.

Arthur pulled on his boots and looked around. He noticed the camp's provisions compartment was open and food and cans laid about. He put two and two together and glared at Hosea.

"That little gremlin stole from us and ran?!"

"Well…we don't know, but it's sure as hell lookin' like it," Hosea answered. He had a hand on his hip, his fingers tapping restlessly as he thought. "Dutch ain't missing anything personal, and neither are the women. I didn't find anything of mine misplaced. How about you?"

Arthur stooped back down into his tent, digging around. "Shit! Yeah, my gun 'n my knife're gone!"

He stood up straight, cursing under his breath. "After what I did for that little shit. I'm gon' skin his hide now!"

"You'll do no such thing."

Dutch's tone was final as he came around, dark eyes scanning over the camp. Arthur felt himself bow up in response, but Hosea gripped his shoulder.

"That damn kid took my hat, and now my gun 'n knife. He took food. He took advantage of us after I saved his ass! I shoulda let him drown!"

"You don't mean that," Hosea said.

"Damn straight I do."

Dutch jabbed a finger into his chest. "I raised you better than that, son. He's just a boy. You were in his shoes at one time, now would you goddamn think about that?"

Arthur released a tight breath, deflating. "Fine…I take it back. But I'm gonna beat some sense into him for sure."

"You're taking it too personal, Arthur."

"Well, 'course I am, Dutch. He took my stuff after I saved him from drownin'."

"Exactly."

Arthur gave Dutch a look, and then side-glanced Hosea, confused. "What the hell does that even mean?"

Hosea gave a wry smile, patting Arthur on the arm. "Think what Dutch is trying to say, Arthur, is that John took your stuff because he likes you. You saved his life, he…he admires you. The boy asked a bunch of questions about you last night when you were off doin' chores."

"Ya'll make no sense. That's a stupid reason to take my stuff."

"Oh really?" Dutch rounded, folding his arms. "Hosea…what happened to your favorite satchel you had for ten years?"

"Arthur took it."

"Hey!"

"Well? Am I lying?"

"No…"

"Dutch, I recall you had a gun holster you were quite fond of."

"Oh, shut up, that's completely different. I knew you fellas for a while before I took 'em and you knew 'bout it! Besides, he took my hat before all that!"

"Okay, fine. Then care to explain why he was huddled up to you in your tent last night? It was quite adorable."

Arthur went white as a ghost, stuttering as Dutch smirked his way. "T-That t-that's nothin' to do with it! The little monster was just cold!"

Hosea elbowed Dutch with a wink. "Are you sure? You two looked like precious brothers sleeping."

"You g-got it all wrong! I-I shoved him back outside!"

"Sure you did, Arthur," Hosea said.

Arthur very much wanted to slam his head into a tree right now.

Dutch sighed. "Well, ain't much we can do about it. Lost cause for now."

"Whaddya mean? I'll mount up and go find the little heathen right now."

Dutch pinched his nose. "We have a job to do, Arthur. We can't risk blowing our cover searching all over town for a boy. We get this score done with the Warrens and then we'll look."

"Little shit will be long gone by then."

"No, he won't," Hosea chimed. "He'll stick around. He has nowhere else to go at the moment."

"I'll send Miss Grimshaw and Mrs. Matthews into town to search and ask around for a limited time, but that's all I can allow."

"Fine. I just want my stuff back."

"Are you not even a little bit curious on why he took your stuff and left?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Aw, my dear boy. Are you gonna sulk all day? Do you need a hug?"

"You're a real piece of work, Dutch."

Dutch whistled at the women, beckoning them before looking back at Arthur. "I need you focused today, Arthur. We'll deal with this after. Do as Hosea says, alright?"

"Sure, Dutch."

Dutch left to go speak with Susan and Bessie. Hosea nodded towards a nearby table with a small smile.

"C'mon, son. We have a lot of planning to do. We want this to go right tonight, so we'll need to plan out every detail."

"Are you sure it's there?"

"Yes, I was at their house all day. It's there, Arthur."

Arthur scratched his head. "Why me? You got slicker hands, Hosea."

"Dutch and I will be their center of attention. You can do it, Arthur. You've done it lots of times."

"Yeah, but not with so many people 'round."

Hosea shook his head. "Nah, just the family. The ranch hands and guards won't be in the house."

"And this key? It unlocks the cellar door behind the barn?" Dutch inquired, stroking his mustache.

"Correct. That is where they keep their money as well as those documents we need to expose them."

"I don't know. I mean, how long do we gotta play pretend at dinner before he shows us around the place?" Arthur asked.

"Trust me, won't take long. He has a prized thoroughbred stallion he'll want to show off to Dutch. He showed it to me not long after arriving at their home still spinning the bullshit story we are now acting out."

"So, we nab him there and hold him hostage? Get into the cellar, take the money and documents and then get the hell out of there?" Dutch asked.

Hosea nodded, a pleased smile gracing his lips. "Yep. Easy peasy."

"The last time you said easy peasy, I nearly got killed in a goddamn dress, Hosea."

His father-figure stifled a grin, shrugging. "Well, if we ain't gettin' shot at in women's garments are we really living?" A wheezy laugh escaped his lips.

Hosea and Dutch snorted chuckles like naughty children and Dutch smacked Hosea on the arm playfully.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Oh, dear God."

The heavy thumping of hooves hit their ears, and a horse burst from the hidden path in the woods out into the camp. The three men were alerted and rose quickly to their feet. Susan pulled on the reins, containing the panting horse. Miss Grimshaw's hair was a mess, her eyes large and round, sweat trickling down her forehead.

"Dutch! Hosea! Them bastards got the boy! And Bessie, I couldn't stop her! I had to come get help!"

"What? Who?" Dutch demanded, his face quickly souring.

"The Warrens! They caught the boy robbin' the gun store. They're talkin' 'bout hangin' him! Bessie went after 'em to try and stop 'em! We have to hurry!"

"Goddammit!" Hosea cursed.

"Get your guns and mount up," Dutch ordered.

Hosea and Dutch went to their tents. Arthur hurried over to the wagon that contained their stored weapons. He tossed Susan a repeater as she briskly walked over and she caught it gracefully. When she came closer, he tried handing her a revolver, but she pushed it away. Instead, she reached into the compartment and pulled out a shotgun, cocking it with a scowl. Arthur got himself a repeater and a revolver and loaded them and his bandolier.

When he and Miss Grimshaw went for their horses, Dutch and Hosea were already mounting up. Dutch kicked his horse into a gallop, and they rode out. Arthur didn't realize his heart was racing until he spurred his horse to come up alongside Dutch and Hosea.

What was that boy thinking? Why did he try and rob the gunsmith? Arthur thought back. John seemed really curious on why Dutch wanted those guns.

Dumb kid! Arthur thought.

"I've told her! I've told her a thousand times!" Hosea yelled, voice shaky. It was strange to see his mentor unnerved. "I told Bessie her good heart was gonna get her killed one of these days!"

"Easy, brother," Dutch said, tone a mix of icy and calm that Arthur couldn't quite grasp. "She'll be fine. And we'll handle the Warrens. But now they got another thing comin'."

Arthur felt uneasy, glancing at Susan. Nothing good ever came out of Dutch's wrath and Hosea's fear. They were an ungodly mix of madness and trouble. If Hosea couldn't appease Dutch then they would surely be walking into an all-out gunfight.

Arthur pulled his horse around closer to Dutch. "Dutch, we should think this over."

"Oh, I am thinking. Lots of things."

"But-"

Dutch spurred his horse faster. Hosea and Susan directed their horses after him. Arthur cursed under his breath and caught up, nerves burning under his skin.

"If something happens to Bessie…I-"

"Nothin's gonna happen to her, Hosea. We'll handle this. They will be fine," Susan assured. "I just…I don't understand why John would rob the gunsmith."

Arthur looked at Dutch, took in the black fedora atop his dark curls, his tense shoulders and hardened glare. "Think he overheard that Dutch wanted 'em. Not sure what he was tryin' to prove though."

"Doesn't matter why," Dutch said, side-glancing them. "What matters is that these bastards are about to hang a goddamn boy and we need to stop it."

Despite his anger, Dutch had a valid point. Arthur may have had mixed feelings about John, but there was nothing good or justified over hanging a little boy.

Only the rumbling of their horses' hooves as they galloped for Hickory sounded over the rush of blood in their ears. Arthur's stomach churned, his nerves alit with fire now that anger fueled him.

They took the turn down to the Warren homestead, following a wide dirt road paralleled by a wood fence on each side. The old, two-story ranch house loomed at the end of the path, encircled by tall, shady oaks and firs.

They cut off the path towards the large, rustic barn where a small crowd was gathered near the entrance. Voices boomed across the cattle filled pastures surrounding the homestead. Some ranch hands ushered family members away with pale and worried faces.

They halted their horses and got off. Dutch and Hosea went right to each other's sides, drawing their guns and walking for the opened doors. Arthur and Miss Grimshaw got their weapons ready and followed right behind them.

Arthur's blood boiled at the sight he saw. John was up on a makeshift stand, a noose lynched around his neck and his arms bound behind his back. He looked absolutely terrified, fresh tears on his dirty face, a cut on his chin that bled. He was wearing Arthur's hat…

Despite the hat being way too big for his head and dark, greasy hair, he had it pressed down with the brim up so he could see.

The Warren family and most of their guards stood around John. Some had guns in their hands, looking out to the horrified faces of several ranch hands. Arthur saw Bessie to the right of the stand, being held by two guards, teary eyes on John with bruising welts across her jaw and cheek, her lip busted open.

"You people are animals! Let him go!" she yelled.

"Animals?!" Randy Warren scoffed. "The only animal I see is this little street rat who had the audacity to steal from us! It's my God-given right to hang thieves of my property! I'll make him an example for those who wish to rob us in the future! I don't take kindly to folks stealing what I worked hard for!"

Boom!

The gunshot startled the crowd, the deafening blare cutting the air and silencing everyone. Smoke curled out of the barrel of Dutch's revolver as he pointed it towards the sky. The ranch hands silently stepped away, scared and confused. Arthur gripped his repeater, standing firm on Dutch's left side.

"What the hell is this?" Mr. Warren asked, glaring through his spectacles. His sons, Lester and Troy, stood on each side of him, also holding guns. Mr. Warren recognized them, but it soon turned into a sneer. "Ah, our fake friends. You really had me going for a while, gentlemen. But then I heard from one of my ranch hands that a few hucksters strolled into town looking for their friend, Mr. Galligan. 'Ol Jimmy was a good friend, a good source of information. Then he suddenly winds up dead after his "friends" show up into town and I knew something was amiss. But there's no denying the description of his friend and would-be killer. Your distinguishing features give you away, Mr. Van der Linde."

"What can I say, friend?" Dutch said, dark eyes on Mr. Warren as though he was prey. "I was cursed with these good looks."

Arthur knew…his father-figure had it out for Mr. Warren now.

"You're outnumbered here. I'm not sure what you want with the boy, but he's got other appointments, meeting his maker for one. Turn tail and leave, and I'll let you live."

"Dutch," Hosea whispered. It was nearly a plea.

"Oh sir, we do not run. You let my friend's wife go, and you hand me the boy, and we will let you live. Do that, and I won't make an example out of you with that noose instead."

Mr. Warren laughed. Arthur grimaced. Yep. There went that deal. Although, Arthur suspected that Dutch wasn't upset over it in the very least.

Hosea stepped forward, eyes earnest. "Do it, Mr. Warren. My friend, he-he…He isn't nearly as forgiving as I am. Let them go. You will never see us again."

"I don't make deals with lowlife ruffians."

"Arthur!" Dutch commanded.

Arthur raised his revolver, aiming for the men who held Bessie first. He flicked his hand over the hammer each trigger pull, pow, pow, and the men dropped. Dutch, Hosea, and Susan opened fire on the guards, running to the barn doors and taking cover, trapping the men inside.

The ranch hands scattered in the gunfight. Arthur felt a bullet blast through the old wood and graze his arm. He hissed.

Bessie grabbed a gun and ducked inside a stall within the barn, still trapped. Hosea covered Dutch as they aimed inside the building to take out the guards.

"Goddammit, the boy!" Dutch hollered.

Arthur looked, saw John hanging in the air, the makeshift stand no longer underneath him. His little legs kicked and he swayed, face turning blue. The hat had fallen off his head to the hay-covered ground.

"I'm goin' in!" Arthur yelled.

He dashed inside, the blaring gunfire ringing his ears. He shot Mr. Warren's younger son in the chest as he tried to intercept him. Arthur grabbed John's legs, pushing his tall shoulders under John's feet to relieve him from the noose. The boy's choking sobs stopped.

Arthur couldn't reach the noose to loosen it while holding John, and the boy couldn't grab it from his bound hands. A bullet whizzed between Arthur's legs, and another guard was shot down.

"Dutch! Hosea! Someone! Shoot the goddamn rope!" Arthur yelled.

Another gunshot, Arthur felt the rope go slack, and John dropped. He caught the boy, but they both crashed to the ground. Arthur was swift in his maneuvers to get him and the boy behind some cover. He pulled the bindings off John's hands and pulled the rope from his neck.

"Keep yer head down, kid!" Arthur ordered, pushing John's head down when he peeked out to see the gunfight.

"We're gonna die!" John cried.

"No, we ain't! Just do as I say!"

Arthur rose up, aiming at two more guards as they fired their repeaters towards the entrance of the barn. Two rapid trigger pulls and they were down. As Arthur was about to tell John to move, he was tackled to the ground.

The older son, Troy, was suddenly on top of him, fingers clenched around Arthur's throat. They rolled around in the muck and hay, punching, kicking, grunting. Troy grabbed a rusty sickle on the ground within their scuffle, and Arthur felt the blade slice across his collarbone. Arthur yelped, grabbing Troy's arm before he could slash it across his throat.

The gunfire kept raging around them, chunks of wood chipping and splintering from each blast. Arthur groaned, struggling to keep the sickle at bay.

"Duuuuutch, Hos…ea! A little…help here!"

Dutch attempted to get inside, but Hosea grabbed him and pulled him back just as a shotgun blast blew a hole in the door where he had been seconds before.

"Fuck! Arthur, hang on!" Dutch yelled.

Arthur heard some kind of angry cry and there were suddenly pitchfork barbs through Troy's chest, spurting blood out onto Arthur. Troy's agonized scream filled the barn as he dropped the tool to get up. Arthur took his chance and grabbed the rusty sickle, stabbing the long blade into the man's chest and ending him.

The barn went quiet. No more gunfire. No more yelling.

Arthur rolled the body off of him and got up. He saw John there, panting, shaking, a pitchfork in his hand as he stared with bulging eyes at the body.

"I-I…I-"

"Dammit, boy, I told ya to keep yer head down!"

John dropped the pitchfork like it was scorching hot, the color draining from his face. Arthur sighed, lungs full of gun smoke and dust. He reached over and pulled the boy into a one-armed hug.

"It's alright, kid. You done good."

"Arthur!"

He snapped his head over at the call. He saw Dutch coming in. Hosea and Bessie embraced near the entrance. Arthur didn't have a chance to say anything before Dutch grabbed him and looked him over, catching Arthur off guard.

"Jesus, son, I thought you were a goner."

Arthur scratched the back of his head as Dutch patted his shoulder affectionately. "Not this time."

"How's the boy?"

"He's fine." Arthur ran his hand across his nose, sniffling from the dust. "Helped me out a bit there, didn't ya?"

John wasn't there. Arthur's heart leapt to his throat, but then he spotted the boy in the center of the barn, where he almost hanged. He and Dutch walked over to him. John dusted something off. He turned around, slowly, shyly offering Arthur's hat.

"Here's your hat."

Arthur grinned, reaching out to take it when a crash sounded. Several farm tools fell over, making a mess. A trembling body crawled out of hiding, whimpering and sweaty. It was Mr. Warren.

An evil smirk rose on Dutch's face. "S'cuse me, gentlemen."

He ruffled John's hair as he passed by. Arthur took his hat and put it on, watching as Dutch walked over to the crying man with clenched fists.

"Dutch, no," Hosea called.

The words made Dutch falter, and he slowed. The man looked up, saw Dutch and screamed. He got up, escaping through the door to the back section of the barn. And like watching a deer flee, Dutch moved as a wolf in pursuit.

"No, leave me alone!" Mr. Warren yelled.

Arthur, Hosea, Bessie, Susan, and John followed after them. Mr. Warren cornered himself between a stable that held a beautiful, black thoroughbred and Dutch. The horse was going crazy, spooked by all the gunfire. Its stressful neighs filled the barn as it pawed at the ground, ears pinned and the whites of its eyes showing.

"I-I'll make you a d-deal! Anything, make me an offer! You want m-money? I got it!"

Dutch chuckled. "My friend, the time for deals has passed. You had your chance."

"N-No, wait!"

Dutch gut punched the man. They watched as Dutch gave him a few hard blows. John walked forward, bunching a fist and pulling his sleeve up. Arthur grabbed him by the ear and tugged him back.

"Ow, hey!"

"What do ya think you're doin'?"

"I'm helpin' him! That feller's a piece of a shit!"

"Better let Dutch handle it this time. Don't worry. He'll make 'em sorry."

Soon after, Dutch was dragging the screaming man, beaten to a pulp, across the ground by his feet as he weakly tried to grab for safety. John spat on him as he went by.

"You are the crookest crook around here, Mr. Warren! Burnin' down Andell, oppressing these fine people of Hickory to gain power! Hangin' a little boy! Beating a woman trying to save that boy! You revolt me!" Dutch yelled, hauling him to the center of the barn where John almost hanged earlier.

He dropped Mr. Warren's legs. He returned the makeshift stand and got more rope hanging on the wall. Whenever Mr. Warren tried to get up, Arthur or Miss Grimshaw kicked him back down. Dutch tied a noose on the rope and tested its hold before getting off the platform.

"I'll tell ya what, Mr. Warren. I'll make a deal for you. I won't turn in your dirty secrets. Maybe your family can recover from this. But you won't be around to see it."

He grabbed Mr. Warren. Miss Grimshaw, Arthur, and Dutch pulled him up onto the stand. The man cried and begged as Dutch tightened the noose around his neck.

"Your horse back there?" Dutch said, staring right at him. "It's ours. The money in your cellar. It's ours too."

"You can have it all, just don't hang me!" Mr. Warren begged. "I-I'm sorry, okay?" He gaped at John. "Little boy! I'm sorry!"

Dutch pinched the man's cheek. "He ain't interested in your apologies, old man! Now, to fulfill that promise I made to you earlier. I am a man of my word!"

Dutch hopped off the stand. They looked up at the bawling patriarch.

Susan curled her lip at him. "It's not nice being on that end of the rope, is it?"

Dutch kicked the stand out from under the man. He fell down, the rope catching, but it didn't break his neck. Like he was going to subject John to, he would dangle and die of asphyxiation.

They watched Mr. Warren kick and choke slowly. Arthur lit a cigarette, glancing over at Hosea. He was rigid, his eyes stern on their dying enemy. He held Bessie against him, her face more swollen than before.

"You alright, Bessie?"

She nodded, assuring him with a gentle smile. "I'll be fine, Arthur. Thank you."

"What 'bout you, Hosea?"

Hosea shrugged. "Can't say that I feel sorry for the fella anymore. It's just, well…Dutch can get a little carried away sometimes."

Arthur puffed on his cigarette, a wry smile forming. "Well one thing's for damn sure. Dutch always knows how to make an example outta someone."

Once Mr. Warren shuddered his last breath, Dutch turned around with a satisfied look on his face. "Time to break into that cellar."

"Bessie and I will get the horse," Susan said.

Dutch, Arthur, Hosea, and John left the barn. The Warren homestead was deathly silent, as though it had been cursed in the aftermath of the gunfight and the hanging of its lord.

"We should get what we can and get out of here, keep moving for a few days," Hosea suggested. "This…This turned into a bloody mess. We gotta lay low for a while, cover our trail."

"Don't worry, Hosea," Dutch said. "We're heading west as soon as we get the money."

"Uh…Mr. Dutch?" John mumbled.

"Yes, son? Are you alright? In all this madness, I've been unable to check on you. Are you hurt? Do you need anything?"

"N-No. I'm alright…thanks to Arthur."

Arthur felt his cheeks burn and he turned away.

"I got somethin' for you."

"For…me?" Dutch looked puzzled, kneeling down in front of the skinny boy.

John nodded his head, smiling. He pulled a key out of his pocket, presenting it to their leader. "It's the key to the gun safe. In the gunsmith. There's lots of guns in there…money too."

Dutch slowly took the key, looking it over, surprised. "You got this all on your own?"

"That's why you ran off? Why they caught you stealing?" Hosea questioned, disbelief lacing his tone as well. "Just for that?"

John suddenly looked self-conscious, dark eyes shifting between them as he played with his fingers. "Yeah…I mean, I overheard Mr. Dutch wanting them. And I wanted to do something to repay you fellas for feedin' and shelterin' me…repay Arthur for savin' me from drownin'. So, I took Arthur's weapons to break in there and get it."

Arthur wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was angry, frustrated, sure, but his heart clenched when he realized exactly why John ran off with his weapons. "Ya dumb fool! Almost got yourself killed anyway! Why would you do that?! What if we hadn't come in time?!"

Hosea hit him hard. Arthur gnashed his teeth but didn't speak another word. John lowered his eyes, shoulders slumping. It was a complete turnaround from his usual rowdy and stubborn nature. And Arthur forgot for a moment that John's tough exterior was just a front to protect himself and to hide his inner grief and fears, much like Arthur had done at his age. And maybe still some to this day.

He sighed, ashamed.

Dutch glared at Arthur only briefly before putting his hands on each of John's shoulders, looking at him closely. "My boy…sometimes we lash out in anger when we care the most."

John slowly nodded, glancing up at Arthur.

"What you did was very brave, but your life ain't worth what's in there," Hosea said.

"I just…wanted to repay you. After causin' you trouble and-and-"

"You don't owe us nothin', boy," Arthur said. "We just did the right thing. We're bad people a lot of the time. We rob, we con, hell like today we kill a lot of folks sometimes, but we ain't never gonna let a kid go hungry or be drowned."

"It was nice…havin' someone care. I forgot what that felt like."

Dutch rose to his full height, his features softer than Arthur had seen in a while as he studied John. "Hosea…we're keeping him."

Hosea rolled his eyes. "No surprise there. It's Arthur all over again."

"Hey!"

John gaped, a surprised, unsure smile pulling on his lips. "R-Really? You'll let me stay?"

"Of course, son. We'll teach you the tricks of our trade. Me, Hosea, and Arthur."

"I ain't no nanny, Dutch," Arthur said.

Hosea smacked Arthur's arm. "Nope, you're a brother now. Get used to it."

"Goddammit."

He sounded frustrated on the outside, but inside Arthur felt relieved the little shit was going to be safe.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16932513/chapters/40676861

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13143281/4/Oh-Brother

[trashassassin]

flare. Chapter 1: The Long Road Ahead (Ignis Scientia x Reader)

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, and non-binary folks of all sorts. The introduction to the series I had begun working on so long ago, the inspiration for which popped into my head as I was walking home from Chipotle one chilly autumn night.

I’m not kidding. This shit comes to me at the weirdest times.

This does have a coherent story line, as well as a number of original supporting cast members, so this chapter exists mainly as an introduction to all of that so you won’t be confused when they’re brought up throughout the series. They won’t come up as much in later chapters, but will remain important to the story throughout.

Word Count: 3974

Warnings: mild violence, mild language

"We have to do something, Iggy!"

You watched in horror as the monster, a skeletal, wolf-like creature, which had somehow slipped past the Wall, was now attempting to devour a helpless baby chocobo.

"Hey!" your companion, Ignis Scientia, shouted with an almost palpable uncertainty.

He picked up a rock from the ground and hurled it against a nearby tree trunk, prompting the creature to go and investigate.

"Now's your chance!" he said, and you darted forward to wrap the bird in the sweater tied around your waist, lingering only as long as you had to before the two of you took off back in the direction of your clubhouse.

"Is it following us?" you asked. "I feel like it's following us."

Ignis looked back and shook his head.

"No sign of it," he said.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

As soon as you reached the clubhouse, you dug around frantically for the potion you kept around in case of an emergency. You’d seen it around a hundred times; why did it evade you now?

You eventually found it hiding beneath a pile of books on the floor and wrenched off the lid as quickly as your 8-year-old strength would allow before dumping its contents onto the tiny bird's injured wing.

"Come on!" you said, as if willing the medicine to work faster.

It took what felt like an eternity until the wound finally started to diminish.

"How does it look?" Ignis asked as he peered over your shoulder, eyes wide with concern.

"Better," you replied. "You're gonna be okay."

You gave it a tentative pat on the head with only your pointer finger; you didn't want to risk injuring it further.

It was then that it let out a soft kweh that signaled to you that it was out of immediate danger.

"What now?" Ignis asked. "Shall we try to return it to its previous owner?"

"No way!" you replied. "Clearly they didn't care about it if they just left it to die in the middle of the woods. I say we keep it."

"Keep it? Your mother would never allow such a thing and you know as well as anyone that I'm certainly not allowed any pets."

"My mother doesn't have to know," you said. "I'll keep it out here in the clubhouse."

"What happens when it gets too big for that?"

"Well, we'll deal with that when the time comes." You rose to your feet, taking the bird with you, still wrapped tightly in your sweater. "I think I'm gonna name you… Goldy!"

"Goldy?" Ignis scoffed. "How very unoriginal."

"What, you got a better name? Tell me these feathers aren't the most beautiful golden color you've ever seen."

"Well, we haven't exactly seen many chocobos around here..."

"Oh, whatever." You emptied a nearby basket of its current contents, an assortment of toys, and placed Goldy inside. "See, it can sleep here! At least, until it gets bigger."

"What will you feed it? You must think this through."

"Vegetables from the grocery store. Mom is always telling me to eat my vegetables, so if I buy extra, she can't possibly get mad."

He shook his head.

"This is insane, you know?"

"I know!" You smiled. "Exciting, isn't it?"

The feeling was bittersweet as you packed the last of your things away in the brown boxes that now surrounded you.

This was it, the moment your entire life thus far had been building up to. So, why weren’t you happy about it?

You loaded them one-by-one into the trunk of your car and then led your chocobo, Goldy, into the trailer hitched to the back.

"Be safe," you told her. "You should have plenty of food for the journey and nice soft straw to sleep on if you get tired." You patted her neck one last time and said, "Good luck," before closing up the trailer.

Goldy was lucky in that way. She didn't understand that you were leaving your home, your friends, and your previous life behind that day. It was just another day for her, another relaxing ride in the trailer to an undisclosed location. She loved to travel; her eyes lit up every time she stepped out into a place she'd never been to before, even if it was only a short distance away from her usual lodgings.

She was most certainly excited for the journey ahead, so you supposed you should be too. And you were excited, in a nervous sort of way. Not once had you left the confines of Insomnia to experience the outside world. To leave Insomnia was to enter a foreign land with a new currency and its own set of rules and regulations.

This was the world that you were setting off to.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself as you entered your car, sitting in the driver's seat staring at your hands for a good few moments before coherent thought returned.

You would be recognized immediately by everyone who saw you as an outsider. Your clothes, your car, the way you spoke, everything about you would give you away immediately to any of your adversaries. Would you be forced to fight?

Ignis had tried to teach you many times, just basic self defense with the tiny knife he gifted you for your eighteenth birthday, but imagining actually having to use it, actually having to take a life…

You shuddered.

Most of them were just robots, but you could never shake your fear of them due to all the nightmares you had during your childhood of them crashing through your windows, red eyes blazing at you as they closed in for the kill. Sometimes they were on your ceiling, dropping from above and strangling you while you slept.

You shuddered again. Your imagination was clearly your greatest enemy here and yet, you just couldn't shake it.

After all, beyond the protective wall projected by King Regis, all bets were off. The outside world was a savage place, uncivilized, crawling with monsters at every turn. At least, that's what you'd been told.

You lifted your phone from its place in the handbag beside you and dialed Ignis's number.

Please don't be busy.

He picked up on the third ring and greeted you warmly, a mock scolding tone in his voice as he said, "You'd better not be driving. We talked about this, remember?"

"No, I'm not driving yet." Your voice broke. "God, Iggy, I'm scared!"

His joking tone disappeared as he responded.

"What's frightened you?" he asked.

"Leaving the city," you replied. "You think they're gonna come after me?"

"The Magitek troopers?" You nodded even though you knew he can't see. "Highly unlikely. You think they somehow have inside knowledge of your personal relationship with the King?"

"Maybe."

You shrugged.

"Realistically, it's next to impossible for them to have such knowledge," he said.

"Yeah, okay,” you said. “What about the monsters? Will they attack Goldy?"

"She's being sent to secure private property, yes?"

"Yes."

"Then you should have nothing to worry about. As for yourself, it's best not hang around outside after dark, as that's when they're most active."

"Okay." You blinked hard in an attempt to stave off the tears that threatened the corners of your eyes.

"What is it?"

"Uh…" Your aggressive blinking had no effect. "I'm gonna miss you. That's all."

"I'll miss you, too," he said. "In fact, I already miss you. I have since you left my apartment this morning. But it's alright because you're going out to fulfill a lifelong dream of yours and for that, I am very proud of you."

"Thanks."

"I must get back to work now, but feel free to contact me whenever you'd like and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm able, alright?"

"Alright."

"Have a safe journey. Goodbye."

"Bye."

The line went dead and you spent a few moments staring at the blank phone screen, allowing your tears to flow freely as you did.

Get it together, goddammit!

You wiped your eyes and turned the key in the ignition, prompting the car's engine to roar to life. There was no turning back now.

You were headed out to a tiny city in the Duscae region known as Caulden to begin your apprenticeship with world-renowned chocobo vet, Dr. Lyle Atkinson. He owned a large plot of land very near to there, the Willow Springs Farm, a chocobo farm that would provide boarding for Goldy as well as a bright future for you.

That was your goal, to become like Atkinson in learning to care for the animals forsaken by Insomnia's protective wall. Ever since you were a little girl holding the gravely injured Goldy in your arms for the first time, that had been your dream.

And now, it was becoming a reality. Or it would, at least, if you could get there in one piece.

The journey was a long one, the road containing bizarre twists and turns, taking you up to precarious cliff sides and various creature crossings deep in the wilderness, two things you'd never had to face before. You were a pretty confident driver, but you would’ve been lying if you’d said that your heart wasn't racing as you were presented with these new challenges.

The first leg of your journey was far too much to complete in a single day so, following Ignis's guidance, you checked yourself into a small motel for the night, called The Point or something equally mundane.

After you'd gotten a full night's rest (or at least tried to with your childhood nightmares resurfacing in your head), you set off bright and early so that you would hopefully make it all the way to Caulden before night fell once more.

Your arrival to the Duscae region was immediately apparent, the cracked, dusty roads of the nearby towns smoothing out and becoming surrounded by seemingly endless wilderness. The sight of it was enough to take your breath away. Insomnia was a beautiful city for sure, but it was highly industrialized, filled with skyscrapers and flashy billboards. Beautiful in its own right, but nothing at all like this.

You watched with awe as the creatures of the field roamed freely, making no effort whatsoever to attack you or your cargo. They were simply going about their business, grazing on grass or napping by the riverside, nothing at all like the vicious monster creatures you'd been envisioning in your head.

You immediately noted that the air streaming through the open top of your car was much fresher than that of the city, lightly seasoned with the scent of the nearby bodies of water and the towering trees.

In that instant, the majority of your fear had vanished; you were certain you were going to like it there, at least.

Your first stop was your new apartment located in a small complex off near one of the side streets. You took a quick peek into Goldy's trailer before unloading your things; she was fast asleep, just as you assumed she would be. She was very well tempered, something you were always grateful for.

Getting all your things inside would prove quite difficult seeing as some of the boxes contained very heavy things like your entire collection of hardcover books and a kitchen's worth of china dishes.

This would be a lot easier with two people.

The thought invaded your mind before your could stop it, and it caused your eyes to well with tears once again.

But you could manage just fine on your own, you resolved, taking the heavier things first by shoving them along the surrounding grass with the smaller things placed on top of them. Getting them up onto the porch would prove more difficult; lifting them proved impossible, so you sort of rolled them upward using the edge of the porch for leverage. Once all of the boxes were placed in a neat pile by the door, you took the shiny new key from your purse and unlocked it revealing the dark, empty interior.

It was very quiet, a little too quiet, you thought, so you switched on the light and jingled the keys on your keychain around a little bit in an attempt to still your rising heart rate.

The room immediately in front of the door appeared to be a living space with a tiny kitchenette off to the side, already furnished with a refrigerator, a stove, and a dishwasher along with a washer and dryer set near the back. Across the hall from these rooms were two more, both with the doors closed, which you found to be a bedroom and a bathroom. It was certainly no high-rise, but it was just the right size for you.

Your next task was actually bringing the boxes through the door, which proved much easier than getting them onto the porch seeing as you now only had to push them in a straight line to get them where you needed them.

Before you started unpacking, you decided it would be a good idea to get Goldy situated in her new place so she wouldn't have to spend another night in the trailer.

Willow Springs Farm was very near to the apartment complex, only a few miles away. As soon as you pulled up, you spotted an older woman, maybe in her late fifties or early sixties, tending a vegetable garden near a towering farmhouse.

It was in an older Victorian style, painted white with a dark blue roof and a porch swing beside the front door that swayed in the light wind.

The woman stopped her gardening once she spotted your car and called out your name, as if to confirm your identity before coming to greet you.

"That's me," you replied.

"Oh, we've been expecting you!" She took off her gloves and set them aside before exiting the gate leading to patch of dirt you were currently parked on. "I'm Liberty Atkinson, the doctor's wife, but you can call me Libby."

"Nice to meet you, Libby," you said.

You shook her hand and then her attention immediately switched to the trailer you had with you.

"And this must be Goldy."

"Yup."

You unlatched the trailer door and lowered it to the ground, which caused Goldy to stir, but not wake.

"We're here." You tapped her gently and her eyes blinked open. "You can sleep some more when you get settled in, okay?"

Her responding kweh was less than enthusiastic.

"Y'all had a long drive up here, I'll bet," Libby said. "All the way out from Insomnia."

She emphasized every syllable of the word and it made you cringe.

Here we go.

"What's that like?" Her eyes were wide with intrigue. "Livin’ in the Crown City. It must be very glamorous, huh?"

"Eh." You shrugged. "There's a lot of getting stuck in traffic jams on your way to work. It's not really all it's cracked up to be."

You could already predict her next question as her lips curled into a massive smile.

"What's he like? The King, up close and personal?"

"Now that's hard to say. I never actually got to meet him."

This was a lie, of course; you'd been in proximity to the King many times given your friendship with his son's royal adviser.

She frowned.

"Shame," she said. "It's always been my dream to visit, but they're so strict over there. Won't let just anyone through their gates, will they?"

"Definitely not," you replied.

A young man, presumably a farm hand by the way he was dressed, stepped between the two of you to grab Goldy's lead and guide her toward the stable, effectively ending that conversation, much to your relief.

"Well, lemme give you the grand tour," Libby said.

Her hand ghosted your shoulder as she lead you through the gate and to a dirt path that branched off in different directions, each corresponding to a location on the property.

"That there's the barn," she continued, pointing to the large white structure the farm hand was leading Goldy to. "And over there's the arena." She then pointed to a large field surrounded by a white fence which contained several chocobos and their riders, who were dressed in jockey uniforms. "We offer training for chocobo races Monday through Thursday if you happen to be interested in that."

"I'll keep that in mind," you said, even though you had no real intention of training Goldy to be a racing bird.

"And out here…” She lead you to the area behind the barn. "...is the pasture. Everybody needs a little fresh air and sunshine, and chocobos are no exception. They usually spend the daylight hours in the pasture unless it's rainin' or snowin', or we're havin' a particularly bad day with the daemons."

"Daemons?"

"The monsters," she said. "Come to think of it, you probably didn't have to deal with them much, did you city girl?"

She laughed.

"I can't say I did," you replied.

And you were very grateful for that.

"Anyhow, behind the pasture is the trail, which can be used by our boarders for ridin', provided it's safe to do so. You'll have to check with Clive before you head out."

"Who's Clive?" you asked.

"Clive Atkinson, our son," she replied. "The one who's leadin' Goldy. He's an expert when it comes to daemon slayin', so he usually keeps them off the trails. He'll let you know if it's too dangerous to head out there."

"Do you have a lot of trouble with these… daemons?"

"It generally gets a lot worse in the warmer months, but it's not as bad now that it's startin' to cool down a little. All the tasty critters they usually eat have gone into hibernation or are migratin' for the winter."

"Have any of your birds ever been attacked?"

"Not a one. Even if they were, we got the best chocobo vet in the entire world to look after them."

This set you at ease a little. Even if Goldy did get mauled by some creature, she would be in good hands. The best hands, in fact.

"She's all settled in," the man who you now knew as Clive said as he caught up with you once more.

"Oh, good," Libby said. "One more thing to note, the first floor of the farmhouse is sort of a gathering space for our boarders, so feel free to stop in there if you'd like. Snacks are on the table."

"Thanks for everything."

You were addressing both of them with this statement.

"Don't mention it," Libby said. "We're just doin' our jobs."

With that, the two of them wandered off to get back to whatever it was they were doing before you arrived, and you decided to head into the barn to visit Goldy. She was already asleep again by the time you reached her stall, likely glad to have somewhere proper to sleep.

If there was one thing Insomnia lacked, it was places like this, places with wide open fields for her to run around in. Sure, there were stables for boarding chocobos, but they were overly-sterile, their interior paved with stone instead of grass without much access to sunshine. Even if you wanted to keep Goldy in a place like that, you never could have afforded it.

Instead, she remained within you clubhouse, which you eventually fashioned into a sort of makeshift stall with a large pile of blankets for bedding and a pair of old plastic buckets for holding her food and water. Her diet consisted mainly of carrots and lettuce, only the finest smuggled out to you by Ignis, which she seemed to enjoy well enough. You would take her on rides when you had the chance between classes and the part-time job you held, using a length of rope from the hardware store as a bridle as, once again, you never could have afforded the real thing.

As you watched her sleeping on a bed of straw surrounded by others of her kind, you were happy that she finally had a proper place to stay.

You decided not to take the offer to mingle with the other boarders, promise of snacks aside, in favor of unpacking your things back at the apartment.

You started with the bigger things, a collapsible bookshelf, which you placed in the living room area, and your tiny flat screen television, which you placed on the floor in the bedroom. The largest items, like your mattress and sofa, were being shipped separately and weren't likely to arrive for another day yet.

That meant sleeping on the floor for a while.

You spent the rest of the afternoon organizing the smaller items, like the aforementioned books and dishes, before putting away your clothes and toiletries, which were stored in the duffel bag still waiting in the car.

Even after all of the boxes had been exhausted, one remained, a smaller, lighter box with a small note attached to it. It was the last thing Ignis sent you off with before you left his apartment.

You sat down on the sleeping bag you'd arranged on the floor of your bedroom, setting the box in your lap as you sliced through the tape with a small pair of scissors.

A few items stuck out immediately, a miniature coffee maker and a bag of Ebony coffee grounds, his favorite. Along with these, which would likely be an essential part of your new college life, was a thick knitted blanket, a collection of paperback books, and a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

The last of its contents was the note, handwritten on a piece of premium stationery with a faux worn appearance, outlined on all sides with a minimalistic flower design.

Hello.

I hope my gifts prove useful in the coming days. I trust I thought of everything you'd need, some quality coffee to keep yourself awake for the inevitable sleepless nights, a blanket to keep you warm as the weather starts to chill, and a few of your favorite novels, to keep you entertained during your limited free time. And of the cookies, I hope that they will remind you of me, a little piece of home to comfort you during what is most certainly a stressful time.

Always looking out, Iggy

You tried your very best not to cry again—you'd cried enough already, surely—but to no avail.

You held the letter in your hands, reading through it at least once more before setting up the coffee maker in the kitchen in preparation for the coming morning. You then returned to your room, tucking the letter away into the bottom of the box where it would be safe for now, and grabbed one of the cookies from the bag as you began to look through the books he gave you. A smile spread across your face as soon as you read the first title.

Starlit Wonder, the story of a small town girl who got involved with a big time pop star, followed by another book from the same author, Everlast, the story of a humble hotel maid who got involved with some kind of dark, mysterious man.

What would he be this time? A vampire? An angel? The possibilities were endless.

The next two were a duology, Hope Beyond Hope and Lust at Sea, following the story of Maria McKellen and a tortured old sea captain, Benjamin Lake. And the last was a new release that you hadn't heard of before, Across the Stars, a sci-fi romance about a scientist who fell in love with the android in her crew.

These were perfect. He knew you so well.

You had a little time before it would be prudent to get to sleep, so you wrapped the blanket around yourself and began your foray into the world of Starlit Wonder.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Howlin’ For You - 4/?

Description: When Y/N gets an unreal deal on her first home, she wonders why her neighbor scared away all the other buyers. Despite being cautious, she doesn’t fully understand what gave Bucky Barnes such a bad name.

Pairing: AU - Biker!Bucky x Fem/Reader

Word Count: 4,059

Part Three 

After that morning, things got complicated. Everything seemed to change, yet somehow it still felt the same too.

Bucky still hadn’t made any move on Y/N. But he seemed so set on assuring she knew the truth about him. Even though he told her the story of just one arrest, an arrest where he offered himself as scapegoat to save Steve, Bucky had yet to disclose any other part of his past. In fact, he still hadn’t told Y/N how he’d gone from war veteran to the leader of The Howling Commandos.

It suddenly occurred to Y/N that maybe Bucky was trying to keep his distance from her too. But she couldn’t figure out his reasoning. She knew her own. But Y/N had yet to figure out what about her would make him try to stay away.

Y/N was brought out of her thoughts by her cellphone ringing.

She practically groaned when her mother’s name appeared on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Oh hi dear. So don’t get mad at me…” Y/N’s mother began, which was never a good sign.

“Mom, what did you do?” Y/N groaned.

“I was at the farmer’s market this morning. I ran into an old coworker of mine. She was with her son, Jared. Oh my goodness, Y/N. This man was just so handsome. Anyways, we started talking and he lives not too far from you. Can you believe it?”

Y/N knew where this was going already. “Mom, I’m not going on a date with him.” Her voice dark and warning.

“I know you asked me and your sister to stop setting you up…But Y/N I just think you two would really hit it off.”

“Mom! You say that every time!” Y/N yelled out.

“Y/N-” Her mom began but she was already cutting her off.

“No! I’ve had enough! Mom, did it ever occur to you that the reason I don’t have a boyfriend is because I don’t want one? If I wanted to go on a date, all it takes is a few swipes these days. Do you understand that? I’m not this pity party you need to go out and scavenge dates for.”

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N what has got into you?” Her mom scolded.

“Nothing has changed, mom. You just never listen to me.” Y/N sighed.

“Just this one last date, sweetheart. Then I’ll stop. I promise.” Her mom laid on the sweetness to soften the blow.

“You already gave him a time and my address, didn’t you?” Y/N stated in realization.

There was a beat of silence.

“Tonight. 8 o’clock.” Then she continued to name all of the great things about him. But it didn’t matter. Y/N wasn’t listening anymore. She hung up on her mom and grabbed a pillow from her couch to scream into.

Y/N contemplated all of the things she could say when the man got there. Maybe she could fake a good sickness and apologize profusely. It wasn’t a coincidence that Y/N’s mother and sister never gave her these men’s numbers. They knew she would just call and cancel if they did that.

After Y/N went through almost every option in her head, she knew there was no getting out of this date without feeling like a total asshole. So she fell into the dreaded routine of getting ready for a date she never wanted to go on.

Later that night, her doorbell was a patient knock on her front door.

“Hi. Wow…Sorry. Ugh…I wasn’t expecting you to be so beautiful.” Jared stuttered awkwardly in such a dorky way that his words came out genuine.

Y/N couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. She was human after all! And no man had ever stuttered over their words because of her looks alone.

The slightly awkward introductions ensued. But the flattery soon ended as he guided her down the porch and to the car.

Bucky just had to be pulling into his driveway right as she was leaving.

Fate was playing a cruel trick on her. Y/N knew it. Her eyes locked on him. What she didn’t realize was that she was giving Bucky the most pleading look possible. Her eyes were sad with a desperation; a desperation for him to be taking her out instead of this random man.

Her entire body language could not make it more clear that she wanted to run back inside her house.

Bucky had turned off his motorcycle and watched the interaction subtly. If he had noticed Y/N’s desperate expression, he didn’t show it. In fact, he was too busy eyeing Jared as he opened the car door with Y/N.

When they finally drove past, Bucky was casually walking to his mailbox at the end of his driveway. Y/N lowered her head in shame, too scared of seeing how he was watching this awkward and forced interaction.

This date was different.

As the night went on, Y/N got a sick feeling.

She realized her mother had been right: Jared was a cute, smart, kind, gentleman.

But it was too late.

Had the two of them been introduced a few months, maybe Y/N would’ve actually gone on a second date. But this was life after meeting Bucky Barnes.

It was this particular date with Jared that Y/N finally realized, or rather admitted to herself, that she’d officially fallen for Bucky. She thought it was some silly schoolgirl crush. But she knew now it was more than that.

Poor Jared was trying so hard to charm her and it was a rare date where Y/N wasn’t completely annoyed by it. She’d never felt guilty for these men until now.

The rest of the date was painless, yet Y/N’s terrible feeling in her gut got worse and worse as they got closer to her house.

As soon as they were in her driveway, she took in a deep breath. “Jared,” She started sweetly. He smirked at the way his name sounded coming from her. “I had a really lovely time tonight. But I just have to say something.”

His grin disappeared for a moment. Then he seemed to immediately realize where the conversation was going. He chuckled lightly and nodded his head. “I’m not getting another date here, am I?” He didn’t sound upset or angry with her, just disappointed. Which somehow made her feel even worse.

“It’s just…there’s actually someone else. My mother is oblivious and didn’t even know about him when she set this up. Because I didn’t really know about it…if that makes sense. I want to be honest with you, because you seem so great!” Y/N’s tone was desperate.

“Y/N…” Jared said gently as he grabbed her hand. “I get it. You don’t have to explain.”

Her jaw slackened slightly. “Really?”

Jared nodded with a sad smile. “Really. Whoever he is…I hope he realizes how lucky he is.” Then he took in a deep breath. “And if things don’t work out, I would really love it if you gave me another shot.”

Y/N smiled at his maturity and kindness, then found herself nodding at his offer. But this was her cue to leave the car now. She slowly made her way to the house in awe of how well that conversation ended.

But as soon as she heard Jared’s car pull away, she felt a spark of bravery.

Without changing out of her date clothes or putting her heels back on, Y/N stomped down her driveway and across the street barefoot.

Before she could lose the adrenaline, her hand knocked on Bucky’s front door.

She heard his heavy footsteps before he opened the door.

He swung open the door and had a look of surprise.

But before he could say anything, Y/N flung forward and captured his lips in the most passionate kiss she’d ever had.

His surprise instantly disappeared and he was kissing her back. In was only a matter of seconds before his hands gripped her waist and pulled her body even closer. Then his grip slid down the outside of her legs until it moved to the back of her thighs. In one swift motion, he lifted her body off the ground. Y/N yelped into the kiss but her body quickly recovered and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Neither of them knew how long their lips had been attached. But eventually they had to separate to catch their breath. Bucky didn’t let her go far, still holding her up as if she weighed nothing. Their foreheads were pressed together and they both tried to steady their breathing.

“Bucky, who’s at the door?” A whiny voice came from the direction of his bedroom.

Y/N felt his entire body tense as she looked over his shoulder.

Standing in nothing but her lacy underwear and one of Bucky’s t-shirts was Dot. Her makeup was smeared and her hair was messily sexy.

Y/N felt like she was going to be sick.

She managed to wriggle out of Bucky’s grip even though he tried to keep hold of her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Y/N whispered under her breath as she started backing away.

“Y/N, wait a second.” Bucky rushed forward.

“I’m such a fucking idiot.” Y/N muttered to herself and her hands ran through her hair in utter distress. The one time she’d taken a risk, put herself out there for a guy and it had completely backfired on her.

“Bucky?” Dot practically cooed.

He turned around to look at her but he was so dumbfounded by the situation. He turned back around to see Y/N retreating.

“Y/N, please, just listen.” His voice was a plea.

“Don’t.” She instantly answered. “Please don’t, Bucky.”

There was no point in saying anything else, Y/N was already in the middle of the street. She walked as fast as she could to her house. Meanwhile, Dot continued to get Bucky’s attention.

As soon as he saw Y/N get inside, Bucky rubbed his face with dread.

“Goddammit!” He bellowed before marching back inside his house and slamming the door.

Y/N was resting her back against her front door. She was in between having an anxiety attack and throwing up. Her breathing was getting harder and harder control. How could she have been so naive? Bucky didn’t want her. She wasn’t his type. At best, he had just seen her as a slam piece or something to entertain him.

Y/N started toward her bedroom and started changing out of her clothes without actually thinking about what she was doing. A few minutes later, she was wearing her running shorts and a sports bra.

When she was utterly panicked and clueless of what to do, she ran.

With her running shoes on and her earbuds in, she peaked out the window to make sure the coast was clear. She wouldn’t be able to handle whatever excuses Bucky would try to throw if he was still out there.

But Bucky was nowhere to be found.

Locking her front door behind her, Y/N then broke into a full on sprint. The music was turned up all the way. She was desperately trying to drown out the thoughts and distract her body from the knot in her stomach. The image of Dot wearing nothing but Bucky’s clothes was enough to keep her adrenaline going.

Y/N didn’t know how long she was running. She wouldn’t let herself stop until her entire body ached and her lungs felt like they were about to burst.

She slowed to a walk and laced her hands together on top of her head. Everything hurt but it was better to feel physical pain than what Bucky did to her.

She must of run miles upon miles, for she didn’t have any idea where she was. The sun had gone down awhile ago, leaving her walking in darkness.

Y/N shrugged and turned around to go back the way she came. Maybe if she rested for a bit she’d be able to break into another jog the rest of the way home.

She’d been completely oblivious to the world around her until her ears were met with the sound of multiple motorcycles coming up behind her. Her entire body tensed. She begged a higher being that it was Bucky’s friends and not anyone else.

But tonight was just not her night.

“Well, well, well…Look who it is.” A dark voice greeted as their bike slowed down enough to match Y/N’s speed walking.

She didn’t need to look over to know it was Brock.

“Not so tough when you don’t have Barnes and his little gang to back you up, are you?” He taunted.

It wasn’t comforting to be reminded of all his friends trailing behind Y/N too.

She continued to ignore him and walk.

“Come on, Brock. Let’s just go.”

She recognized that voice and it made her accidentally look back to see Brent on one of the motorcycles behind them. There were still some bruises healing on his face from the night he picked a fight with Bucky.

“Look at her, Ward.” Brock answered. “Bucky let his little pet loose. Dumb move on his part…” Then he revved his engine forward but skid to the side to completely cut Y/N’s path off. She had to jump to a stop to assure he didn’t run her into the ditch.

Y/N tried to turn around to walk the other way, but his friends seem to follow his move and blocked her path that way too.

“I have no connection to Bucky. I hardly know him.” Y/N finally spoke. It bothered her that she didn’t actually know if she was lying or telling the truth.

Brock had a dark smirk. “I’m going to tell you a little story.” He dismounted his bike and started slowly closing the distance between them. “Our little strip club got raided by the feds the other night. Shut down some illegal operations that were making us a lot of money. Very few people could’ve tipped ‘em off. Barnes and his guys are some of the only people that have the balls to even think about it. That lot is just a bunch of good doers. I’ve suspected that Barnes works with the police for years now.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not part of his gang.” Y/N tried to keep her voice as even as possible.

“Yeah, but it would send a message.”

Y/N swallowed. “What would? I have no part in any of this.”

Brock chuckled and it sent a shiver down Y/N’s back. He was barely a foot away from her now. “You really don’t see it, do you?” Her brow furrowed at his question. “You really don’t see the way he looks at you. Man’s started not one, but two, bar fights to make sure no one else gets you. Do you honestly think that’s a coincidence?”

It didn’t matter what she said anymore. Y/N could see it in Brock’s eyes that his mind was made up. She didn’t know what he planned to do. But she knew her life was in danger.

Without thinking, Y/N shoved Brock as hard as she could. It was enough force to give her a path past him. Despite her body’s exhaustion, she flew into a sprint. But it wasn’t enough. Before she could get to her peak speed, Brock tackled to the hard pavement of the road.

But she wasn’t giving up without a fight. Her mind raced through every self-defense tip she’d ever heard or read. She tensed the heel of her hand and did an upward thrust to his nose. She swore she felt a crunch and Brock let out a howl of pain.

“You stupid, fucking bitch!” He growled and slapped her across the face.

The sting felt like the whole left side of her face was on fire.

Y/N tried to punch him, but he caught her fist before it could make contact.

Brock threw his weight forward so her back slammed back to the pavement. It caused her head to slam back and she saw stars. He pinned both of her hands to the side of her body. She struggled with her knees and legs, managing to send a kick to his manhood.

Y/N continued to fight, but her strength was dying. Her mind tried to focus on surviving and getting away. But it just kept thinking of how her corpse would be found on the side of the road.

Bucky’s cellphone had been ringing for awhile. But he hadn’t noticed it until now.

“What?” He growled without bothering to look at the screen to see who was calling.

“Where the hell have you been?” Steve yelled. “I’ve been trying to call you for half an hour Bucky!”

“What is it, Steve?” Bucky sighed, not in the mood to deal with anything.

“Before I tell you, promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.” Steve’s voice was too careful.

Bucky straightened on his couch. “What? What is it?”

It wasn’t the first time he’d got a call from a member like this. Unfortunately, it was part of their lifestyle.

“Bucky!” Steve snapped. “Promise me!”

Bucky was on his feet pacing his living room now.  “Fine. Fine. I promise I won’t do anything stupid. What the fuck’s happened?”

“It’s Y/N. She’s in the hospital.”

Bucky had never driven his motorcycle faster in his life.

Everything about him must have screamed danger because people at the hospital were diving out of his way and averting any possible eye contact.

He immediately spotted Steve in the waiting room. Natasha, Wanda, Sam, and Thor were seated nearby. There was a radius of empty seats around them, making a clear separation from the rest of the family and friends waiting.

“Talk now.” Bucky growled low.

“It was Rumlow.” Steve sighed. There was no easy way to tell him. “I guess she had gone running or something. The whole Hydra gang must have crossed paths with her.”

Bucky rubbed his scruff to deal with his overwhelming guilt and helplessness. He shifted his weight, trying to control himself. “How bad is she?” He whispered.

Steve looked back at their friends. But none of their looks were giving him any sort of aid. “The doctors said she… she has a couple fractured ribs. Her right hand is broken. There were some cuts and bruises on her face-” Steve had to stop himself. “She’s pretty beat up, Buck.” He exhaled.

Bucky put his hands on his hips and bit his lip. The pain of it stopped himself from punching the first person that even glanced in his direction.

“Who found her?” He didn’t know what else to do, so he just kept asking questions.

“I did.” Thor stood up then and carefully walked over. Bucky’s only cue for him to speak was his glare. “I was on my way to the bar. They left her on the side of the road, unconscious.”

“This is my fault.” Bucky hissed.

“Buck, don’t do that.” Steve immediately started.

“Steve, look me in the eyes and tell me that Rumlow didn’t do this to get at me!” He snapped.

“You were careful.” Steve defended.

“Not careful enough!” Bucky barked back.

“Steve is right. This is not your fault, Bucky.” Thor vowed with more diction and sincerity. He gripped Bucky’s shoulder in comfort.

“What room is she in?” Bucky asked. He needed to see her.

Steve told him the number. “Her mom and sister are with her right now. I think you should wait until they leave for the night. Natasha already conned the doctor to let you in after visiting hours, especially with us not being related and all that.”

“Stay here. I’ll be back later.” Bucky ordered.

Steve’s face dropped. “Buck, don’t do it. That’s exactly what he wants.”

“Yeah, and he’s gonna get it.”

Sam jumped up to join Steve in racing after him. The three of them got on their motorcycles. There was only one place Rumlow could be. If this attack was meant as bait, Bucky knew Brock would be waiting at the bar.

Bucky’s motorcycle wasn’t even fully stopped when he jumped off of it and stomped through the doors of the bar.

Brock was there with his gang, but they hadn’t noticed his entrance.

Without stopping his stride, Bucky walked towards Brock who was innocently playing pool with his back to him.

Bucky picked up a nearby pool stick and flipped it so the narrow end was in his hands. “Hey Rumlow!” He barked.

Brock turned around to be met with Bucky slamming the pool stick across his face, like a baseball bat on steroids. Teeth and blood flew out of his mouth from the hit. Some of Brock’s gang tried to stop the attack, but Sam and Steve had made their way in and kept the fight between Bucky and Brock.

Rumlow was on the ground, spitting blood and loose teeth onto the dirty bar floor.

Bucky looked down at him to realize he was already beat up. Brock’s nose was swollen and definitely broken, there were two black eyes to match. But that wasn’t Bucky’s doing. If he wasn’t blinded by his anger, Bucky would be able to feel the sense of pride toward Y/N’s ability to defend herself.

“Your girl’s a real spitfire.” Brock spat, realizing Bucky was observing his other injuries.

Bucky’s anger flared up once again. His left hand held Rumlow in place as he started landing punch after punch. Bucky blacked out from his rage. And if it weren’t for Steve and Sam pulling him back, he surely would’ve killed him.

Bucky finally stepped back, chest heaving as he looked at the damage he’d done. The entire bar was silent. The patrons always eyed him wearily, but now their gazes were filled with utter terror.

Bucky eyed the rest of Brock’s gang, some of which were bruised and beaten from Steve and Sam. “Anyone else?” He offered sarcastically.

No one even breathed.

“That’s what I thought.” He growled.

Then he took a few steps towards Brock until he was hovering over his bloodied body, barely conscious. Steve and Sam shared a look, ready to jump in if Bucky tried to continue. “And you,” Bucky whispered in a hiss. “You even look at Y/N again and I’ll fucking kill you.”

Rumlow wasn’t even capable of speaking. But the message was heard loud and clear.

When the three men walked outside and returned to their bikes, Steve and Sam watched Bucky carefully. He was pacing back and forth with his hands on his hips. Steve swore he could see tears forming in his best friend’s eyes.

“I fucked everything up…” Bucky almost whimpered.

Steve and Sam just looked at each other. They’d never seen him like this and they had no idea how to handle it.

“Buck, Y/N’s going to recover. She’ll be okay.” Steve said softly.

But Bucky was already shaking his head. “She wouldn’t have been out if weren’t for me.” He took in a deep breath. “She…she came over earlier. I opened my door and she was just there and we kissed.” He was talking quickly now. “Then…God-fucking-damn-it… Dot was there. She drove to my house drunk right before Y/N got there. I made her stay and sober up before I would let her leave. Gave her my shirt to wear because she threw up.”

“Shit…” Sam muttered, fully understanding how it all ended. Anyone would’ve assumed  the same as Y/N.

“She went out running because she was upset. I know it.” Bucky mumbled at the ground.

Steve took in a deep breath and stepped to his friend. He gripped his shoulders tightly. “Bucky, we can’t change what happened. But you better get your ass back to that hospital and fix this.” His voice was demanding. “I’ve known you all my life and I’ve never seen you this way about any girl. So don’t mess it up.”

Part Five 

Your book reports make me happy. Please continue with them.   

[etherealsenpai-blog]

Aqua x Reader (SFW)

Word Count: 1,565 words

Originally posted on Wattpad. Everyone deserves a happy ending :).

The Land of Departure was the home for three potential keyblade masters. You lived there as well, since Master Eraqus was your uncle. It was entertaining watching Terra, Aqua and Ventus train. Terra was the brute force, striking the practice targets with such force they nearly fell apart. Aqua fought with grace, moving almost like a ballerina. Her strikes were carefully timed, ensuring she would have the winning edge over any opponent. Ventus was quick, moving between targets like there was no tomorrow. Sure he may of been younger than the other two, but he was quickly catching up in terms of power.

“[Name], why don't you join us down here? I have something for all of us.” Aqua says, looking over at where you sat. She seemed excited, the brightness in her eyes bringing a smile to your face. Standing from your spot, you stretch and head down to where your friends stood.

Aqua clasped her hands together and smiled brightly, “I made us good luck charms,” Aqua starts, pulling out four star shaped charms, “Somewhere out there, there's this tree with star shaped fruit. The fruit represents an unbreakable connection and as long as we carry these with us no matter where we're at, nothing can drive us apart. You'll always find your way back to each other. I mean, I think they're supposed to be made with seashells, but I did the best I could.” Aqua smiles sheepishly, dangling her charm in front of her. You all do the same and you can't help but smile.

“But why did I get one?” You ask, glancing at the [color] charm before looking at Aqua. Her eyes soften upon looking at you, the faintest hint of blush dusting her cheeks.

“Even if you don't fight, you're still very much a part of this team. I couldn't leave you out, that would've been just cruel.”

“And I'm pretty sure she likes you.” Terra quips as he walks off, a sly smile on his face. Aqua gapes, shifting on her feet and then sighing in defeat. You look between Terra’s back and Aqua, not sure what to say.

“Do you really..like me?” You point at yourself and Aqua nods. There was no sense in trying to deny it now.

“Heh, I really do. When I first met you, there was just something about you that drawn me in,” Aqua stands in front of you, placing her hand over yours, “And if something ever happens and we're all driven apart, I'll do whatever it takes to get back to you. I promise.” Aqua says, smiling gently.

“Thank you Aqua. It means a lot honestly.” You smile, gently putting the charm in your pocket.

“Don't mention it, now let's get back before it's cold.” Aqua takes your hand, leading you back to the castle like home. You never thought that Aqua would like you out of everyone, honestly you thought she liked Terra. But you were happy, happier than what you have been in recent days.

~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~

Despite training for the Mark of Mastery exam that was coming up very soon, Aqua made time for you. She would often find you hiding within your room, reading a book. You had become one of her main reasons to fight harder than ever.

“You going to watch the exams tomorrow?” Aqua asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. You look up from your book, wondering when she came into the room. Though you smile nonetheless.

“Of course, I'll be rooting you both tomorrow. But maybe you a little more.” You toss the book to the side and pat the empty spot beside you on the bed. Aqua moves there, taking your hand in hers.

“Heh, that's nice to hear. I just hope this doesn't rear our friendship apart. We both know there can be only one master.” Aqua frowns, referring to Terra. You give her hand a reassuring squeeze, making her smile slowly.

“It'd be pretty low of him if he got mad. I mean, there's always next year's exam. Nothing would be lost honestly. Am I right?” You ask. Aqua nods, turning on her side and curling up against you.

“Exactly. We'll just have to see how things go tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be okay, but you know how I worry.” Aqua chuckles sheepishly, nuzzling her head in the crook of your neck. Your face warms up due to the closeness between the two of you, but you wouldn't want it any other way. Aqua was too darn precious to push away.

“I'm sure it'll be okay as well, just get some sleep. You're going to need the rest for tomorrow.” You kiss the side of Aqua’s head, keeping a tight hold on her as she relaxes. Nothing else was said, Aqua was blushing over the kiss you left on the side of her head. She could still feel it, making her stomach fill with butterflies.

Aqua soon fell into a peaceful sleep, listening to your heartbeat and a small smile on her face.

~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~

The next day, everything was chaotic. From the exam going wrong, all the way to Ventus chasing after Terra who fled the Land of Departure. Aqua was tasked with bringing them back, but the small (majority) part of her wanted to stay with you.

“Call me selfish, but I don't want to leave you.” Aqua frowned, holding your hands. Eraqus told her to say temporary goodbyes, but she wasn't ready. Not when she finally got you.

“I don't want you leaving either, but you have to get your friends back.” You smile, leaning forward and kissing Aqua gently. It was the first kiss between the two of you and the last for the time being. The thought was painful, but you smiled through the pain.

“I'll be back soon, don't you worry [Name].” Aqua walked off, looking back to wave before leaving. You watched her disappear, a quiet sigh escaping your lips.

Now it was only a matter of time until she came back. You had high hopes that everything would be okay.

~ ☆ ~ A happy Ending Because I Can't Handle the Ending of BBS ~ ☆ ~

It took several months, several near death experiences and a strong heart, but Aqua brought her friends back. A guilt ridden Terra followed behind Aqua, while Ventus walked beside her. They were all exhausted from their tedious fight with Vanitas and Master Xehanort. By some miracle, the three friends won. Terra almost lost his way into the darkness, but the power of friendship saved him.

The three enter their home, silence filling their ears as they walk toward the Master's room.

“Are they even here?” Terra asked, running a hand through his hair. They've never heard the place so quiet before, though a clatter from the kitchen and a outburst of profanity soon answer his question.

Heading into the kitchen, the three freeze when they see you in the floor picking up what was supposed to be cookies.

“I forgot the fucking floor was wet. Fucking hell, I ain't baking again goddammit.” You mumble, thinking Eraqus was watching you at the entrance. When you look up though, your mouth nearly falls to the ground. Scrambling to your feet, you slip and slide towards Aqua, Terra and Ventus, hugging them to you as best as you could.

“You guys made it! I missed you so much!” You say, doing your best to hug them, though you were sure one of them was being choked by your efforts.

“Man, you really lack faith in us [Name].” Ventus sputters, wiggling out of your hold and gasping. Turns out, he was being choked. You look at him and smile brightly, releasing Terra from the hug, but keeping Aqua close to you.

“I had full faith you guys would make it back thank you very much. I just couldn't help but worry.” You feel Aqua rest her head on your shoulder, her arms snaking around your waist.

“It wasn't easy, that's for sure. Ven, let's give these two some time and report to the master.” Terra dragged Ventus away, leaving the two of you alone. You turn your attention to Aqua, who was relaxing peacefully against you.

“It really wasn't easy, but we somehow did it. At times, I wanted to lose faith when I was alone. But whenever I thought of you, everything was okay again.” Aqua kissed you, pouring her pent up feelings into the single kiss. She missed you with all of her heart, you kept her going when things were looking bleak.

Pulling away, Aqua was blushing a bit while she touched her lips. You exhale and shift on your feet, nearly blown away by the kiss. It was so simple, but it meant so much.

“I'll always be here for you Aqua. That'll never change, I promise. I love you.” You hug her to you, enjoying the feeling of her being in your arms once again.

“I love you too [Name]. And I'll always be there for you as well.” Aqua presses herself closer, taking all of you in before hearing Master Eraqus call her name.

“I guess I'll talk to you in a little bit,” Aqua kisses you one more time before pulling away from you, “I can't wait to tell you some of the things I learned.” She says, smiling brightly before walking off. You watch her back, a dorky smile plastered on your face.

Aqua was the definition of perfection. There was nothing anyone could tell you otherwise.

[boogiewrites]

Summer of Hopper Ch. 2

Characters: Jim Hopper x Reader

Word Count: 3600

Summary:  Hopper is in pieces after coming back to Hawkins after Vietnam. How long will you be able to be the strong one if you are also on the edge from taking care of him? If you both break…then what happens?

Warnings: Angst. Some Fluff. PTSD, Night terrors, depression, anxiety.

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

You can check out my other work on My Masterlist.

A/N: For and with the help of my boi @jaegeeeeer

Tagged folks are at the bottom, if you’d like to be added or removed, just leave a reply and I’ll see it! Any positive feedback or messages are appreciated. Thanks!

Flo is sitting on a bench in the front of the station waiting for you. She smiles sweetly at you, seeing you're an absolute mess. It wasn't just the smudged mascara and dark circles under your eyes that let her know things weren't going well at home. Your body did not move lightly, your hair did not bounce and your skirt did not swing around you in the way it usually did as you moved. She hopes you at least saw this coming somehow. 

She holds out her hand as you step onto the curb and she pulls open the door. You take it without hesitation, she'd been nothing but motherly since you'd met her. She leads you to Jim's office.

Your reflexes move to sit in the chairs in front of his desk but you see they're occupied by Callahan and Powell. Callahan's arm is in a sling, you frown and your body jolts slightly as you stop your muscle memory from making you sit in your preferred chair, but that would've made it Powell's lap now. You look over at Jim's chair and sigh. You lower yourself in the sunken chair. You felt like a child in it, you didn't know why Jim seemed to hold himself so powerfully from this seat, it made you feel nothing. Your hands rest on the worn brass knobs at the end of its arms. You look up and see Flo has shut the door and is standing behind the two officers, a hand on each of the backs of their chairs.

"I want to start by saying we're sorry and we know this is hard for you." she states. You nod and half-heartedly smile.

"Thanks" you're even surprised by how tired you sound.

"Callahan went out on a call with him this morning." she starts.

"I was already out on another call." Powell clarifies. You acknowledge Powell and look back to Flo.

"Would you like to tell Y/N what happened?" she nudges Callahan from behind. He's angry, you can tell but he doesn't want to yell at you specifically.

"We got a call about a domestic dispute, it ended up being two old guys fighting about their property lines and they'd pulled guns on each other. Nothing crazy, these old military guys always stir up trouble from time to time." he thinks nothing of what he's said, you can tell. Your mouth forms a tight line, you're already piecing together what might've happened. "So they're yellin' and carrying on and I say something to the Chief, I don't remember, and he slams me against the car so hard he broke my damn collarbone." he points at the injury. "I start yellin' at him and he starts yelling about someone named Williams," you'd heard him yell out this name in his sleep,"...and starts towards the guys, he was real red and he stumbles and passes out." he shrugs. "I don't know, Y/N, it was real weird. I got no clue what happened, I'll be the first to admit that..."

"Are you really that fucking stupid Callahan?" your answer surprises everyone in the room.

"Wh-Huh? Well I know you're mad but I'm mad too!" he stomps his foot like a child. A weak fist forms on his good arm.

"Oh are you?" you sit up in the chair, a scary laugh emanates from you. Powell looks concerned, Flo just lets it happen, she knew where you were going with this.

"W-Well...YEAH!" he starts to raise his voice and you cut him off.

"GODDAMMIT CALLAHAN!" you shout raising from the chair and slamming your palms on the desk top. "A man, absolutely fucking OOZING with PTSD, who hasn't even been out of Viet-FUCKIN'-nam for a year goes on a call with two MILITARY guys SCREAMING at each other with GUNS and YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!" He blinks and stutters.

"Well I didn't think of that." he says, cowering. Flo smacks the back of his head hard for you, you nod at her, she knew what you meant.

"Because you're a goddamn self-absorbed, moronic, piece of fucking work, CAL!" you slam yourself back into the seat, fuming. Your arms and legs are crossed tightly. You stare into Callahan's soul across the big wooden desk. You want to leap across the desk and put his other arm out of commission. Powell clears his throat to cut the tension.

"Ms. Y/N, If I'd known about the call I would've gone. I'm sorry." he bows his head slightly. You let out a heavy sigh.

"You're sweet, Powell, really, none of this is on you." you close your eyes, you uncross your limbs. "He's had over 10 panic attacks and has had night terrors almost 20 times this month." it all rushes out of you and you slump into the chair.

"Damn." Powell responds.

"Yeah, I've gotten under 12 hours of sleep this week, I've gone on less this month." you put your hand on your forehead, rubbing your temple.

"Sweet heart, it's Friday, how on earth are you dealing with this?" she says concerned.

"I'm not." tears well up in your eyes. "We're not. He screams all night and all I can do is be there for him." you start to choke.

"It's okay, we get it." she nudges Callahan again roughly.

"Sorry, Y/N I didn't know." he says softly.

"I know." you sigh and take a deep breath, shaking your head quickly and cutting the cue on the tears.

"Well what we, I, wanted to suggest might be a relief for you then." she sighs and shifts her weight on her feet. "I mean this with the most respect and love I have, Y/N, but you need to get him the hell out of here." she calmly states.

"Is he fired?" you asked, shocked.

"No! Oh no, dear," she huffs out a quick, reassuring laugh. "Nothing like that. He just needs a break. You clearly do too." she says, her face sad. "I suggest getting out of Hawkins for a few months."

"Months?" you say, your eyes wide.

"Yes. I think taking the summer off for both of you would do you a world of good. Take him out to mountains, get away from everything for awhile. You know?" she gives you time to digest her words.

"That..." you shrug, "That isn't the worst idea." you look away to a picture of Jim, smiling in a group of friends. You swallow hard, realizing you can't remember the last time you saw him smile like that.

"I'm very relieved to hear you say that. Especially after what you just told us, IN CONFIDENCE." she shouts just inches from Callahan's ears. You shift your eyes over to him.

"Yeah, geez, I got it. I'm sorry." he flinches and looks at the ground.

"I don't know how he'll react but...what the hell else am I gonna do?" you shrug, letting out a slightly demented laugh. You stand, stopping in the doorway and turning back. "I don't forgive you yet but...I regret screaming at you, Cal." he nods, still afraid to do anything like a threatened animal. Flo reaches out for your hand, you give her yours with a very tired smile. She squeezes it and gives you a hopeful glance.

"I'm here if you need me." she offers, you nod graciously. Your heavy feet make their way to the glass double doors of the station, the bright daylight makes everything blow out of focus for a few seconds.

As he hears the door shut, Callahan speaks. "It was like she was possessed by the Chief for a minute there, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Powell nods, looking out the door at you leaving. "She wasn't even yelling at me and I was scared." he huffs out a small laugh.

"Do think it's the chair?" Callahan says, staring at the chair intensely. Powell shakes his head.

"You're hopeless, Cal." he says, tsking and leaving the room.

"WHAT'D I DO?" Callahan yells after him, Flo whacks him in the back of the head again, for you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- You jogged to the reception desk of the hospital. From one disaster to the next you went today it seemed. No sooner than your palms land on the top of her desk, a classmate of yours from high school says,

"Room 199. The last door on the left." she gives you an apologetic smile. You bet she had to hand those out all day.

"Bless you." you thank her in rushed words as you continue bounding to his room.

You peak your head in just to make sure it's the right one and you see him. You don't even know if you were this happy to see him when he walked back in the diner the week after he came back home. You remind yourself you're the strong one again and attempt to hold back your tears.

The split second before he realized you're there, you see him in his unfiltered state. You both looked really similar actually. You had more life behind your eyes though, his were defeated. When he sees you come in, they don't change that much, he doesn't clear his throat and put up a front like he thinks he can fool you into thinking he's okay. You don't say anything, you put your knee on the bed, raising yourself up to lay your body over his. He's surprised but he welcomes it. You plant your face in the curve of his neck, squeezing your arms around him tightly. He nuzzles you back, his big arms encircling you. You let the tears go. You're forced to. They fall silently until he speaks. "You okay?" he whispers, his cheek resting against yours. You let out a choked sob and he grabs your shoulders, forcing you to move so he can see your face. You try to wipe away your tears but as soon as you start taking in his face, not the face of the boy you'd fallen stupidly in love with all those years ago, but a shell of the man he was, who he could be, should be. Your body just slumped and you sobbed. "It's okay, Y/N. Honey, I'm pretty much cleared, they just haven't brought me my papers yet." he tries to reassure you but you shake your head back and forth against his chest.

"No. It's not okay, Hop." you manage to get out, you put your weight on one arm by his side, practically laying on top of him. You try to smooth out the depressing white and blue fabric that covers his chest. Your mascara smudged across it. You wipe your eyes and take a deep breath. Once you feel strong enough to meet his gaze, you do. He would've cried if he could've managed it. He let you put yourself back together, just like you'd done for him, countless times. One hand ran up and down your arm that held your weight up. The other on your thigh, just waiting for a call to be useful to you. "I love you more than anything Jim but we're not okay." you sniffle. He doesn't know what to say so he finally verbally admits defeat.

"I know." he rasps out, he can't look at you. He wants to disappear, his head throbs, his mouth is dry.

"I love you so much." you choke out, resting your head on his chest.

"I love you too." he says softly, his hands grip you tightly.

"We're gonna get out of here." you whisper, you know he can hear you, your body wants to exert as little energy as it can.

"Yeah they're bringing my-" you cut him off and rest your chin on him, looking up at him.

"No. I mean out of Hawkins." he looks down at you confused.

"What are you talking about?" he's wondering if he heard you right.

"For the summer." you clear your throat. "We're gonna pack up and we're going to get out of here. Go to the mountains. Just me and you." you rest your cheek back against him again. His eyes just wander the room, he understands what you're saying but he still has a lot of questions and he's not in any state to try to make sense of things. "Wasn't there a cabin you talked about? Someplace you liked as a kid?" your voice tried to sound soothing and hopeful.

His brow furrows, trying to dig for the information you're pulling from the back of his brain. "Well, yeah, but some people came and bought it, I don't know if it's even there anymore." his head shakes, nose scrunched in thought.

"We'll find it. We'll go there," you state definitively. He appreciates your enthusiasm but is still skeptical of your ability to follow through on this whirlwind adventure you'd concocted in your head.

He decides to start by saying, "How?" he looks back down at you, he rubs your back and you let out a small noise of content at the touch. He's compelled to smile but the heart is strong and his body isn't willing.

"I'll get the money I've got in savings, I'll find the place and we'll figure out the rest. I'll quit my job. You need to escape and so do I." you plead to him with your eyes. "You're not getting better here, I'm going to take us somewhere you can." your voice sounds more pointed and desperate the more you elaborate.

"I don't want to go to any-" he starts.

"Just a cabin." you cut him off again. You didn't usually make a habit of it in your day to day conversations. "Just us." you look back up at him. "Can you imagine it Hop?" you whisper, leaning into his face. "In the woods. Away from everything. No schedule. No clocks. Nobody else." you sigh. You see him weighing the options, his brow furrowed in thought.

"How?" he asks again. "Even if you found this place," his voice show shows his obvious doubt and hesitation. "We don't have the money to." he tucks some wandering strands of hair behind your ear, his face in a subtle frown.

"Yes, I do." you say, looking away. His looks asks you wordlessly. You sigh and sit back up. "Before you came back," you pause and bite your lip because you hadn't wanted to tell him this. "I'd been saving up money to leave Hawkins." your eyes eventually swoop back up to his, your fingers are picking at the scratchy blanket that's over him.

"You were?" his head tilts, his face goes through a few different emotions. "Why?"

You let out a huff of laughter. "Because without you it felt like there wasn't anything keeping me here anymore." you sound angrier than you meant to. "I hate my fucking job, I have no family here and a tiny shitty apartment. No friends I'd miss and no one worth dating left." you state passionately. It felt so strange to hear the words out loud you'd screamed at yourself in your head endlessly to convince yourself to leave in the first place. You might've been fooling yourself but you felt sort've...lighter now.

He's more than a little surprised. He'd never heard you talk about this, especially in such an emotional way. You'd never even let on that you had been planning to move. You just took him in without asking anything in return and loved him when he couldn't love himself. You'd saved him and if he'd not come home when he had...well he didn't need to think about the repercussions of that right now.

"I'm loading all this bullshit on you, I'm sorry." you take his hand and kiss it. "I'm sorry I'm probably being selfish." you shake your head, starting to look away from him but you hear a laugh, albeit a small one but a laugh none the less come from him. You can't look away because you don't remember the last time you heard the sound and don't know if you might hear it again. You smile dreamily at him.

"Selfish is something that no one could ever accuse you of being." he pulls you in and kisses you. "If you were selfish you would've left me ages ago and I'd be dead by now."  Your eyes widen at his words.

"Hop." you whisper just inches from his face, you move to put your hand on the side of his face, he covers your hand with his, making you look and feel so small.

"Well, it's true." he says, with passion behind his voice. You tried to remember if you'd ever heard his tone like that, a tiny flicker of hope erupted in your stomach. "I'm," he sighs, frustrated, "I'm not trying to be dramatic, it's just true and I might as well say it out loud." his shoulders relax as you let him speak.

"That can help." you squeak out. He looks over your face, nothing but love in your eyes.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you." He pulls you in for a kiss that you feel deep in your stomach. Your eyes squeeze shut and you wrap your arms around his neck. His arms around you held tight. You don't plan it but you both go for deepening the kiss. You haven't kissed like this in months. Right now you lived in this moment with him inside this kiss. You hadn't sensed this feeling from him in what felt like eons. Like a lifetime ago since you'd been through so much in such a relatively short amount of time.

You eventually part, your foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, both of each other's hands clutched tightly in the other against his chest.  You were going to tell him how much you loved him but you're interrupted.

"Ahem." a doctor knocks on the doorframe, grinning at the two of you. You pull away, only the tiniest bit embarrassed. At least she hadn't walked in on you kissing. "I see she got here quickly." she chuckles. "Do I have permission to discuss your treatment with her here?" she asks him as she flips the chart in her hands open.

"Oh, yeah, she's the one that takes care of me." he smiles at you and you at him.

"Just a formality. If it's not too improper, you two are adorable." she laughs as her finger skims the paperwork in front of her.

Now you were slightly embarrassed.

"You must be Y/N." she says, reaching her hand out. "I"m Dr. Brighton. He was placed under my care when he was brought in." she politely introduces herself.

"That's me." you say, unsure as to how she knows your name.

"He wouldn't stop talking, well, more like mumbling for you while he came to. Then he kept asking everyone on the staff if someone had called you to let you know he was here." You can't help but let out a huff of laughter and he squeezes your hand. You grin at him.

"Sounds like him." you look away from him and back to her.

"The tests show no brain damage, no broken bones." her eyes dart around the crowded forms. "He was treated for exhaustion and dehydration." she pauses, reading before she speaks again. "But I'm assuming you're aware of his PTSD." her voice remains polite and calm. You nod, he squeezes your hand again, you squeeze back. "He seems to have experienced some form of anxiety or panic attack. From what he's told me, he's dealing with night terrors and flashbacks which isn't out of normal realms for what he's been through. I'm not a psychiatrist but I very seriously recommend he seek out some form of mental health help." she gives him a polite and respect filled nod. "Besides that, physically he's good, everything within normal limits." she shrugs and smiles again, folding the chart shut. "Any questions?"

You shake your head, she told you nothing you didn't know already. You glance over at him, he looks at you first, shaking his head then to her.

"If you're good then I'll get your discharge papers moving and you two can get back home. You both look like you could use some rest." she smiles again, "Maybe take some time off Hopper? Destress, use up those vacation days?" she suggests. You look over at him, if you'd had the energy left you would've smirked.

"Yeah I think that's the plan." he answers, you squeeze his hand.  She nods and exits.

@whatmakesmebeme-tblr @sleepylunarwolfh @elevenofmages@alahmorah @norcula @undiscl0sed-desir3s@atari-writes@jobean12-blog @missharleenquinzel-blog​ @kiwiphroot@ashphoenix105 @ambeazyyy @riotguuuurl​ @warriorqueen1991​ @misbehaving-f0r-days @divadinag​ @wefracturedmotivation@flamehairedwritings @earinafae​ @beltzboys2015-blog@gettinjoyful @lucifer-in-leather@nerdysuperchick @kathrinebutterlover​ @dragongirl420​ @fangirlinginspace@xxdragonagequeenxx  @the-bitch-gotham-deserves​ @hopperholland​ @lil-tea-cup​ @darthnerd25@davidkharbours @mrslydiaholden @tit-punch02 @thedaydreamerrrrr @yedi16 @jess2464 

[hawkeyebabe]

The Maelstrom

The Maelstrom Rating: T (language) Summary: If Roy and Riza had a proper fight, what might it look like? AO3

"It isn't about the method, Lieutenant, it's about getting it done."

"That is the falsest thing I have ever heard you say."

Her words were staccato and sharp. There were deep lines in her forehead from the way her brow was turned down. He rarely witnessed her in such a way, and maybe somewhere inside it could have been sobering to him, but it wasn't.

His anger was there too.

"Well maybe you haven't been listening hard enough," he bit off, turning his head away from her to look down the alley. The bricks on each side of the walls were wet with the floating drizzle overhead. The streetlamp several meters away bounced off the scattered puddles pooled in the flaws of the concrete.

"Maybe you haven't been listening at all," she said, her volume raising but her voice keeping it's solidity. He scoffed and took a step forward, deciding to completely ignore her, an action he was wholly unfamiliar with but one he was truly desiring, until her hand caught his shoulder like a wrench and she pulled him back. The grip she had was strong and the pull was not gentle, and he felt a prick of fury from the feeling of being yanked. His foot had to catch him as he was forced round. His head whipped down to glare at her, and he was met with an equally dangerous look.

"You're being absolutely blind, Colonel, and I won't let you do this."

"Let me do this?" He lifted a hand to seize hers and he thrust it off of him. Strange: that space didn't feel empty before she grabbed him, but it did now that he pushed her away. "I'm the one calling the shots, since you've seemed to forget, and you're coming incredibly close of being in my way."

He turned away again, hoping that if he could not see her he would not feel her, but her voice was just as snaring as anything.

"Colonel, you're being tasteless and brazen, and the only one standing in your way is y-"

"No!" he shouted, pivoting around again with speed like wind. Her mouth closed in surprise, but she did not flinch. He felt the muscles in his face twitch.

"I'm moving forward," he continued in a voice that was attempting to be controlled. "And I never would have thought to say this, but you are pulling me back in this moment. Why can't you see what I'm trying to do?"

"I see you playing games with a very, very grey line, sir, and that's not who we were ever supposed to be. We were never supposed to be the grey line soldiers, finding balance between rule and result - that's...that's who we're trying to fight against, Colonel! Since day one!"

"Lieutenant, this isn't a grey area! He's a bad guy, it's black and white, can really you deny that?" Something like true exasperation broiled around his torso, hot and sparking. It felt unpredictable. Unsafe.

What was happening, the tumult and distance between them, was entirely uncommon. It was unwelcome and sour. She was his anchor and her absence in support made him feel loose, whipping like a flag strapped onto a pole by only one rope; why can't you see with my eyes?

"Yes of course he is!" she raised back. "But you are not!"

"You are confusing the meaning, Hawkeye! Me bringing him to justice is not the same as him mauling lives! I can't even believe your logic on this, goddammit, why are you making this so goddamn complicated?! This can be quick, and it will benefit us both! Benefit Amestris! Is that so terrible to you?!"

He was struggling to keep his volume under control.

It was true, he held a reputation in not only Central, but throughout the country; the Flame Alchemist had the temper of a wildfire. Unforgiving and brash.

But never….never with her.

"Colonel!" she pleaded. He saw her eyes searching his own and he hated it. "Tell me that you truly believe what you are trying to do is right!"

"IT IS." The voice that came out of his mouth was a kind of quiet bellow, a snarl held back by a chain. It seemed to faze her, in a way that was only unique to her. The way her eyebrows flinched together when he spoke, the miniscule and minute way her head shook, how her chin moved back an inch in reaction.

"Sir…" She couldn't continue the thought. He supposed she didn't have the words. That the disappointment she felt towards him was muting. It drove him to the brink of rage. A bundle of kindling with a match hovering above.

"Lieutenant, we're going now. And if you're not coming along, then go home."

"I won't."

It teetered on the edge, soaking in the heat of his burning temper.

"You will leave, Lieutenant," he growled icily, annunciating each syllable, his eyes lit, "that is an order!"

"I absolutely refuse."

He inhaled rapidly and so the match fell.

"You are with me," he finally yelled, his booming voice echoing off the damp, dark walls. "Or you are not! Which is it?!"

The face he knew to be calm - comforting, even - fell victim to shock, then a fury of its own, and the emotion in her features was suddenly not so subtle.

"Colonel, stop being so full of yourself and listen to me!" She cut off the last part of the sentence sharply, straining her voice as she yelled. A short lock of hair hung loose from her clip, slightly curled and wet from the rain. The tops of her shoulders were dark with it. "If you kill that man, you become your own enemy!"

"Quit rearranging the words to make this story a tragedy, Hawkeye! He doesn't deserve life, you damn well know that, do not try and tell me otherwise!"

"He deserves a fair trial, sir!"

"Where he will be put to death, anyway!"

"Then let him be sentenced!"

"I kill Hudson," he began as he felt the veins in his neck bulge with the pressure of his rage. It had been some time since he last yelled in such volume, and in such primal anger. When had he last been so truly enraged?

She was not listening. She was not understanding. And he desperately, desperately needed her to understand.

But she wasn't going to.

Regardless. It didn't matter. He would do it anyway.

The desperation of it all was converted to pure madness, and this was translated to him in only anger, and he delved further away from the root of their upheaval and inched closer to a civilized sort of mania.

"I kill Hudson," he continued ferally, "I get promoted, and we are THIS much closer! Isn't that what we've always wanted?! Isn't it?! You - me - it's what we've planned! Tell me it isn't!"

"Tell me what you'd be doing isn't killing for power!"

It seemed like the night was woven with their shouts, that the walls and the wet ground both sponged up their yells while simultaneously thrusting against them so they reverberated off one another.

"Bullshit!"

She scoffed disdainfully and bit her lip, a fresh wave of rage rippling over her face before she fiercely looked away to stare at the sidewall of the alley, not able to stop shaking her head as she processed her disbelief.

"Goddamnit, Hawkeye, can't you see?!" She shook her head even more and looked up to the black sky, as though it held the answer for her. The drizzle of rain had since turned to a light downpour. "Look at me!" he demanded. "Look at me!"

Her eyes then bore into his, intense and dark and so expressive he almost regretted the demand. They felt like ice.

"This alchemist," he implored, "has killed civilians. Innocent people. He's captured them, and he's stripped them of their humanity because he himself has none. Somebody has to stop him, and they asked me to do it."

"They asked you," she reminded lowly, "not ordered, but asked, because otherwise it would be illegal as a demand, for you to kill him. Sir."

"So I will."

"You'll be compromising who you sought out to be in the first place!" she retaliated, her normally stoic face almost unrecognizable. His chest rose angrily.

"But he deserves to die! How am I doing wrong?!"

"Colonel!" He saw her become as desperate as he. "I was inspired to join the ranks of the military by a man who once told me of a future for Amestris that was built with the foundation of fairness and goodness! Is this fair, and is this good, Colonel?!"

"I," he practically screamed, "Get! Promoted! And we are that much closer to our goal! Our goal! I'm not just doing this for me!"

Something flashed in her eyes and she took a few steps forward, touching his shoulder in a way that outlied both of their inflictions. Like when you taste something sweet in a meal cooked with salt, it did not seem to belong.

He could barely stand to look at her anymore. He thought perhaps it was because she was so infuriating, or, he thought, perhaps it was because she was right. He flushed the thought down the storm drain with the rest of the sewage.

"You can still get promoted, Colonel," she said to him quietly, fervently, "but not like this."

He grabbed her hand again and moved to shove it off his shoulder, an attest that he had no interest in her plea, but before he could release it she wrenched out of his grip on her own. The gentleness in her features disappeared into the night and was replaced with a hardness unlike her.

"Stop grabbing me."

In response, blinded by their shouts, blinded by his own mind and by her dangerous glare, not thinking because he was filled with hotness and a brutal anger, he launched his hand out and caught her wrist like a trapper, so quick he surprised even himself, and he tugged her forward without so much of a whisper of gentleness. He didn't know if it was the rain, or the night, or maybe, if he was lucky, a nearby cat, but he thought he heard a quiet inhale of alarm when he did so.

He ignored it as he continued snarling in a quiet and lethal way.

"Stop making me empty promises, soldier, because guess where we are?"

She said nothing, but something unrecognizable, though zealous nonetheless, lined her features. She was so close to him now that he couldn't understand why she was still so difficult to read. Short, quick breaths pumped out from her nostrils. He could feel her pulse beneath his fingertips. It was heavy and powerful and enraged. Or maybe that was his own.

"We're in hell," he continued threateningly. His heart was ripping out of his chest. "I think we have been for some time. And I don't see you following me."

She was tough, strong, and the arm in his hand pulled impressively as she attempted to wring out of his grasp, but he was tougher and he was stronger and he only tightened his grip on her. He pulled her even closer in the struggle between them, her pulling him towards her and him retaliating forcefully so she tripped forward, and his voice dropped to nothing more than a terrible whisper.

"So get in my shadow," he muttered, "or take out your gun and shoot me. Pick one. Because I am finished with this conversation."

The next movement she made was swifter than a storm. Her free hand fled to her back and returned with agility with a sleek handgun, a handgun whose presence he normally greeted with fondness and pride, and he glanced down at the weapon and up at her face and saw a ferocity in it, filling every line and crease with absolute and complete resentment, and the rage inside him was briefly replaced with shock.

His eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise, and for a moment, his heart dropped to his feet. She's going to do it...

The gun came barreling towards him with speed he couldn't register and the butt end of it cracked into his right temple with an incredible amount of strength, striking him so bluntly he for a moment doubted it had come from her. He automatically released his hold on her wrist and staggered backwards, clutching his head, feeling the pain radiate through his skull and down his spine. There was a slick warmth beneath his palm.

"Do not...grab me," she repeated, her voice now shaking openly. "And lose the part of you that is so naive I find you no more wise than a child."

Stunned, he unsteadily rose his head to stare at her. With the pulsing of his skull and the sheer curtain over his heart, his throat turned vile.

"How could you know how wise a child is supposed to be, Hawkeye?" he said quietly, matching the shake in her voice. "You never were one yourself." His hand felt glued to his temple, still lit in throbs. With his arm raised now, he felt the tremors in his muscles. He did not think they stemmed from the pain. "Don't kid yourself into thinking you're any more clever than me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You think I'm a fool, Lieutenant, but you're one too," he hissed. "You think you know what's good for me? You don't even know what's good for yourself! You-!" He somehow possessed the ability to stop his tongue. He forgo what he almost said, closing his mouth briefly before opening it again to move on. "You're self destructive and you are absolutely insane sometimes! Why do you think we got along so well? Because I am too! And I fucking know that, and I fucking recognize it! It's time you step down from your pedestal and do the same!"

"I appreciate the try, sir, but I'm the most level headed person on your side, and for good reason considering how vapidly you operate, so do us both a favor and refrain from letting your anger speak before your faulty logic!"

"Faulty-?!" he laughed humorlessly. The flesh that made up his body suddenly belonged to someone else, and the matter unique to his brain was suddenly turned to dust. He tasted the viciousness before the words left his tongue.

"Next time you find yourself in a bathroom," he couldn't stop himself, "take off your clothes, put a mirror to your back and tell me, tell me!" The words he'd managed to halt before came barreling out of him like thunder. "That you're not as vapid as me!"

She faltered. The look of thick anger dropped from her face. A heaviness burrowed in the center of his stomach.

They hadn't made a sound about what lay beneath her work shirt uniform in years.

He wanted her to shoot him then, in the leg or in the arm or in the head, anywhere.

"I thought we made a good team," she finally said quietly after some time, not even acknowledging his words, "because you wanted to achieve truth and goodness, and I did too. I thought perhaps we were compatible. Was I so wrong?"

The weight inside him felt like the entire strength of gravity was against him, and his legs felt hardly capable of keeping him standing. The man conversing with her did not seem to be Roy Mustang. But still he spoke using that man's voice.

"I think you've already answered your own question."

The gun was still at her side, shining with water. Her brown eyes were so dark he couldn't see their color anymore.

"I have answered my own question," she whispered. "I did a long time ago. You just haven't answered it yourself."

"You don't know me like you think you do," he replied cruelly. A drop of blood rolled down his face as his palm retreated from his head. He felt his face twitch as he fought to control himself. Something burned behind his eyes. "But I know you." The trail the blood left was hot, and it left him frozen. A breath shivered up through his chest. "And I beam at that."

She scoffed quietly and shook her head. Any remaining emotion in her face dissipated completely and she was left to look at him with something more empty, more hollow. It ripped him apart.

"What a foul thing to be proud of."

They stared at each other then, saying nothing and listening to the sounds of the increasing rain. He wondered if she could hear how irregular his lungs were behaving. Everything he'd said was false, and the most obtuse thing was that he knew it.

Nobody knew him, not even himself, save for her. The rain ran down his back.

"So shoot me," he whispered bitterly. The hand holding the gun hesitated, then it was lifted and brought to rest back in the holster beneath the back of her jacket. He frowned at the sound of it being put away.

"You're not going off the deep end with this one, sir," she explained dully. "Like I said before; it's a morally grey area. You're just...losing your sight. And it's hurtful to watch happen."

"I'm not the only broken one. Don't forget how shallow you've proven to see, too." He didn't know why he kept going, why he couldn't stop. Was he so weak?

"I won't."

Her response was quick, and he hadn't expected her to agree with him so readily. For a moment, it made him think of how open she was with herself, how honest she was, and perhaps he wasn't doing the same. It made him think he was being irrational.

Then he thought of how this man was likely going to kill again soon, and he thought about he'd reach a rank that would take him an additional five years otherwise, and he thought about how she seemed to stop arguing with him. His mouth remained closed as he gave her one last stare before experimentally turning on his foot and to take a few steps forward. When he failed to hear a refute or following footsteps, he continued his walk, forcing down a deep breath and lifting his chin in an attempt to suffocate the rising feelings of doubt, and the burning feelings of guilt.

"I could never forget."

He would have told himself 'no', if able. He would have demanded he continued abandoning that scene, to continue forward and to remain committed to his plan. But his feet stopped for him without his choice, forcing him to a dead halt. A few loose pebbles crunched beneath his shoes.

"I could never forget not only how shallow I saw, back then," she continued in a subdued way when he froze, speaking to his back. "But how blind I was."

His breath came to him quicker then, and his shoulders tensed as he felt his prior convictions dwindle.

"I'll be given a medal and an extra star for bringing him to justice." His voice barely held the hint of a quiver. He was suddenly unsure of who he was convincing.

"To death, you mean."

"Sometimes it's the same fucking thing."

It made him almost nauseous, that he couldn't win both the mission and her support.

It was handed to him so easily, this promise of a rank, a rank he'd dreamt of reaching for years, and she, she the person he planned this with, was trying to hold him back from it.

The thought only continued to feed the turmoil inside.

"Then you and I should have been dead a long time ago, if that's what you think, Colonel."

His head jerked half an inch backwards as though he'd been slapped. He felt his twisted features falter. Astonished, he blinked several times into the rain, and he found himself slowly turning around to face her.

"Is this what we're doing?" he asked painfully, still fighting to keep his voice steady. He saw her jaw clench and her throat move with a swallow. She stood there, arms at her side, face flat, hair wet, chest rising and falling. She did not answer.

"Are we going backwards, Lieutenant? Are we bringing...that into this? Are we bringing that up now?"

"'Lieutenant,'" she quoted with a bite, "'when I take down the government, the first thing we must do is answer for what we did in Ishval. We'll be tried as war criminals, and sentenced as such.'" She took in a quiet, shaky breath. '"Will you still follow me, even through that?'"

It was his turn to face silence. His eyes stung harshly. Bound, he could not find the will to move or speak.

"And I said yes," she emphasized the word, "because knowing I would one day face justice is what lets me sleep at night."

The burning in his belly filled his limbs. The unbalance felt like it would rip him apart.

"And Colonel," she cocked her head down, "I guarantee I've killed far, far more than Hudson has. So if you really believe what you just said,"

The boil flipped to nausea, his stomach pancaked, and he felt his heart stop,

"Then kill me."

His fingernails bit into his palms and every muscle in his body turned rigid. The thought of it, even the mere sound of the words being spoken, demolished him more than their worst shouts of anger. A breach of consciousness allowed the flash of an image to cross his mind, an image he may one day face, and it was her, handcuffed and bound and on her knees, with a rifle to her head, and he exhaled forcefully with a grunt to banish the thought from him.

The rigidity of his muscles suddenly disappeared, his ribs racked with the release of all of his wrath, and a crash of coherency stuck his head down to his boots. Something inside sagged terribly and his shoulders lost all tension as his head fell back and his eyes closed towards the sky.

The rain coated his face. He felt his head moving, shaking, just barely so.

He stayed like that for several moments, breathing. It seemed like an eternity before he found the ability to move, and he wondered if she was as cemented as he.

"You really must think me a fool," he finally murmured after some time. With his eyes still closed, he felt the rain more profoundly and heard her voice more deeply.

"Yes," she said quietly, so the word was barely heard to him in the weathered breeze.

He dropped his head back to its rightful place. The intensity of his anger was replaced with the most severe kind of remorse.

"So where do we go now, then, Lieutenant?" he asked the empty space before him.

"If you do this," she answered half heartedly, "we go backwards."

He laughed quietly, giving his head a shake. He blinked and watched the rain come down from the dark clouds to hit the ground. He shrugged, the ghost of a grieved smile crossing his face.

"I already have," he said blankly. He felt her eyes on his back, but he was grateful to be looking into the empty alley. He saw the streetlamp on the other end flicker lamely.

"...Sir?"

"I've already gone backwards," he said again with a small, depriving shrug.

"Colonel, you haven't killed him yet…"

"I'm not talking about him anymore."

At her silence, he forced himself to turn and look at her. He couldn't allow himself to be a coward forever.

With his partition of anger gone, he felt as though he was seeing clear for the first time that night. He was able to feel the chill of the rain, and he saw the state he'd put her in. Her hair was now completely unkempt and falling out of its black clip, soaked entirely and dripping. Her jacket was mildly crooked from the grabbing and sheathing of her gun,

and from the grabbing of her wrist.

He closed his eyes again, and was saturated with something he knew he should have felt far before then: regret.

"What I said to you…" he began as he opened his eyes, half lidded and watching a puddle grow. "I really am a fool."

"Yeah," she agreed, exhausted. "You can be. But I know…" she grappled with herself, "that I have made mistakes, Colonel. My tattoo, and what's become of it...it is, of course, my fault…"

"No, wait -"

She put up a hand, and he immediately silenced.

"You saying it out loud doesn't make that any different," she continued. "So don't feel as though you planted that idea in my head. I've always known it."

"But I didn't mean -"

The hand came up again.

"What's happened to us, has happened. What we've done, is done. But we still have the choice to decide what we do. And...you made a choice tonight, just now, not to kill Jao Hudson. That's what we still have control over. That's what we need to continue focusing on. You haven't gone backwards in my eyes, sir...despite how we ended up here," she inhaled again as though remembering their yells, "we're still moving forward."

He sighed heavily and immediately began walking towards her. She seemed to tense, surprised at his sudden movement, but her eyes only followed him as he came to stop in front of her once more. He felt his hand twitch at the want to make contact with her, but he forced it into a tight fist.

"Dammit, Hawkeye, why can't you hate me for once?"

She watched him warily. The rain, beginning to come down harder, seemed to pay her no mind.

"I just simply can't, sir."

"What I...I didn't mean, what I said...I'm-" The words didn't seem to be enough. They were not enough. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant."

"Like I said," she answered softly. "We can do nothing more than look to the future, and not the past."

"Please don't do that…"

"Do what?"

"Try and protect me all the time. You want to bear everything I say to you, and everything I do. You want to hold onto it so I'm free of it, so I can spit on you so long as I end up focused again. Don't...I can't be allowed to do that. I don't want to do that…"

"Colonel," she smiled slightly. "Your head is bleeding, quite a lot, in fact. I wouldn't say you're getting away with it."

He looked at her for a moment before lifting a few fingers to gingerly touch his temple. He'd forgotten entirely about that, and he was glad to be reminded of the pain in his head.

"Regardless…" he said distractedly as his hand slowly came back to his side. "Do not forget what I said tonight. Do not see me as someone better than I am. I don't deserve that, and neither do you."

She glanced down at his feet.

"I'll hold you to it, then," she said before meeting his eyeline. "You are the man that you are because you learn from your mistakes. So don't make this one again."

The corners of his mouth lifted. The rain mixed with the blood on the side of his face so it dripped over his eyebrow.

Slowly, enough to allow her to step away if she wanted to, he closed the distance between them and he pulled her into his arms. She didn't move away, but he felt her muscles tenses briefly before she accepted the embrace and she wrapped her arms around him too. He tightened his grip and felt her body against his.

"Please forgive me, Hawkeye," he said into her slick hair. Her fingers pressed into his back.

"I have."

When they pulled away, his hand slid down the length of her retreating arm and rested beneath the wrist he'd caught earlier. He couldn't find the words to express the regret of touching her like that, of handling her in such a way, and she answered him just as silently by gently feathering her fingers over the sleeve of his jacket and pulling her arm away, as though it was meant to be forgotten.

A lapse of judgement came over him, or perhaps it was better described as a feeding of his wants, and he brought his hand up to gently brush his thumb over her cheek. At the moment his skin touched hers, he imagined she would have jumped backwards or lowered his arm with her own, but she didn't. For the briefest moment, with their eyes locked, he'd forgotten about the maelstrom they'd just shared.

His hand dropped, and she made the slightest motion with her head, gesturing behind her. He reciprocated the nod and took the first step forward, and she turned to follow beside him.

He was overcome with a wave of fatigue. Tired and downtrodden, wet and useless, he glanced over to the soldier walking silently beside him. Her eyes were downcast on the dreary stone, probably lost in thought.

After touching her, even as shortly and barely of his thumb on her cheek, being one of the most intimate gestures ever made between them, he suddenly wanted more. Overcome then with the shocking desire to just hold her, and push her wet bangs out from her face, he had to remind himself of who they both were.

She was his adjutant, and the most respectable, brave, astounding person he'd known.

He was her superior, and he had said to her the most despicable things he could have conjured.

For more reasons than one, he could not touch her, not matter how strongly the desire had made itself.

[resident-of-storybrooke]

Hi! Love your stories!!! Could you do a prompt with jealous!Killian or jealous!Emma? Anything else is completely up to you but maybe (please!) can you include Victor Whale (!!!) and Liam? This shall be kind of a surprise for your beta reader - I know she loves jealous!CS and Whale and Liam, so if you could do that for me, that would be awesome! THX

A/N Prompt: Hi! Love your stories!!! Could you do a prompt withjealous!Killian or jealous!Emma? Anything else is completely up to you butmaybe (please!) can you include Victor Whale (!!!) and Liam? This shall be kindof a surprise for your beta reader - I know she loves jealous!CS and Whale andLiam, so if you could do that for me, that would be awesome! THX

Ofcourse!! Thanks for the great prompt anon, I love this concept! This isdedicated to the amazing @rouhn!! I hope I make you proud!!!! And of course, shoutoutto @hookedonapirate for helping me with this story! Some canon divergence here,only to help out with the plot. I own nothing but my CS shipping heart. Make sure to follow me on FanFic (can also read the story here). Please keep sending prompts! I love y’all! 

Withoutfurther ado, enjoy….

Killian’sPOV

Wherethe bloody hell was she? Emma was supposed to be at the station 15 minutes ago,and although he found it cute that she was perpetually late, today itaggravated him. Maybe he wasn’t exactly mad at the fact that she was late, itwas more at the fact that she had been rather elusive this past week.

Killianwalked over to the couch on the far wall, but before taking a seat, he peekedout of the window and saw her - except it wasn’t just her. Liam was there withher. Killian was happy to see his brother and his Swan getting along, but theyseemed a little too close for comfort.

Theywere standing in front of Granny’s, Emma wearing her signature red leatherjacket (truth be told, he liked the red leather jacket), the dark blue jeansthat made both her long legs and arse look fantastic, and her black boots. Withsuch a simple ensemble, she took his breath away; she always had the capabilityto look so soft and yet, so much like the tough lass she was.

Theyhad only been dating for a short time, but he knew he was in love with her; he,had been since the moment he first laid eyes on her, even after she had tiedhim up and left him in the giant’s lair. He also knew how scared she was to bein a fully committed, really real relationship (her words not his). Moreover, he was afraid that if he told her the truth, she would probablyrun, so he made a promise to himself that he would let her be the first to say“I love you”; he was a patient man and would wait forever if he needed to.

Helooked out the window again to see that they had somehow gotten closer; Killianfelt his face and ears turn hot pink. What in the hell would Liam want withSwan? He saw Emma lean over and give him a big hug, Liam promptly returning itand giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

Thatdid it!

Hestopped watching the scene that was unfolding in front of him; he could notbare the thought of Emma leaving him, especially for his own brother.

As hewas sulking on the couch, Emma came into the station with a giant smileplastered on her face. “Glad to see you could make it, Swan.” Emma must nothave seen him when she walked in, because her hands flew to her chest, andshe practically jumped out of her skin.

“Whoa,beware of lurking pirates! Fuck, Killian you scared me!”

Asmile should’ve appeared on his face - she only used his name when they werealone, usually doing more enjoyable activities - but it didn’t; he was tooupset.

“Myapologies, love.” He failed to resemble the overly confident pirate persona; hewas slouched over and couldn’t bring himself to lift his eyes from the floor.

“Lurkingand brooding? That’s a classic combo. Come on, tell me what’s wrong?”

Hecouldn’t look at her; his heart was broken and full of rage. He was afraid of losinghis happy ending, and couldn’t understand how his brother could betray him likethis. “I’m fine, Swan. Let’s just get on with it.” He got up and walked pasther, knowing he should’ve said something, but he also knew he would’ve brokendown if they had a conversation. He loved her, and he was scared she’d neverfeel the same for him.

Emma’sPOV

Shefelt bad about going behind Killian’s back, but it was the only way. She knewshe was late meeting Killian at the station, but he’d never seemed to mindbefore. Emma finished her brief meeting with Liam and rushed to the station.She and Liam seemed to be in a better place than where they were after they hadfirst met. Bringing him back to Storybrooke seemed to had made Killian happier;she loved seeing the man she lov-cared about so happy. She knew how much helooked up to his brother. Liam might’ve been a self-righteous ass sometimes,but he was also Killian’s hero and she could see why.  

WhenEmma walked into the station, the lights were off, which she found odd becauseshe thought Killian would’ve beat her there.

“Gladto see you could make it Swan.” Oh, no he was there, goddammit!

“Whoa,beware of lurking pirates! Fuck, Killian you scared me!” She realized she hadsaid his name; she loved calling him that, and usually it led to someinteresting encounters between the two of them. A quick blush crept across herface as she thought of those moments, but she knew if he questioned herreaction, she would blame it on fear.

“Myapologies, love.” She took a moment to truly study him; he looked like someonewho had just been kicked in the gut. Something was bothering him…did he knowwhat was happening? Maybe it wasn’t intelligent to meet his brother in themiddle of Main Street, but that couldn’t be it! Killian always loved it whenshe and Liam and got along. He always said how important family was to him and,though it may not’ve been official, she did consider him to be a part of theCharming-Swan-Mills-Gold-Jones family.

“Lurkingand brooding? That’s a classic combo. Come on, tell me what’s wrong?” Sheencouraged, making it sound more like a question than a command; usually he wasthe one encouraging her to share, it felt weird being on the other side. Sheknew that if they were ever going to make this work, it needed to be more of agive and take; she had been unfair to Killian in the past and she wanted tomake amends for that. Emma wanted to be the partner Killian deserved.

Shemoved from her desk to the front of the couch, kneeling down to be eye levelwith him. She gave Killian a warm smile trying to encourage him to share, butwhen she looked at him, she saw an array of emotions. She could see that he washurting, but he also appeared to be…pissed? Was he mad at her? What did she do?Oh god, he was going to leave her; he had finally had enough of her. Then sheremembered, it was Killian. This man had traded his ship, his home; he hadcompletely changed his ways and she knew it was for her. So what the hell wasbothering him?

“I’mfine, Swan. Let’s just get on with it.” When he walked past her, she feltsmall, like the abandoned child that she once was. Whatever was going on withhim she needed to figure it out, because she could not afford to lose the manshe loved.

Ohshit.

Killian’sPOV

As hestormed out of the station, he cursed himself for acting like a damn fool; hereshe was trying to talk to him, and he blew her off. No wonder she still hadreservations about moving forward; he wasn’t giving her much of a reason totrust him right now. Once he had taken a step outside, he knew he had to stop;he couldn’t act like a jealous prick. He turned around and there she was.

Sheappeared to be holding back tears. “Emma, please love, I’m-”

“No,Killian. Let’s just go. You made it clear that we were in a hurry.” Now he’ddone it. Nicely done, you git, he berated himself. She walkeddirectly past him, purposely hitting his shoulder before getting into thedriver’s seat of the bug. He followed suit and sat beside her for, which atfirst could have been described as, the most awkward and uncomfortable car ridein the history of all the realms.

Helooked over at her only once, and she had a death grip on the steering wheel;He was beginning to think that if she released her grip, then she would alsolose ability to hold back her tears. How dare he get jealous over a simpleconversation? He had no right to suspect anything, to be so cold towards her.Laying his head against the headrest, he closed his eyes, trying to think ofwhat to say to her. Then, out of nowhere, his left wrist moved; she had grabbeda hold of his hook. He turned his head to look at her in utter shock.

“Idon’t know what’s wrong Killian, but I’m here for you whenever you’re ready. Ipromise I’m not running anymore.” She didn’t take her eyes off the road duringher confession. Emma might not have said “I love you,” but he knew that herconfession was enough for now, and he needed to let go of any ill feelings hehad. He merely nodded, a small smirk appearing on his face. He wished he hadtwo hands to hold her; he knew she never minded him having only one, but,still, it would be nice to be able to give her a hand a squeeze.

Finally,they reached the town line where Snow, Charming, and Regina were all waitingfor them.

Emma’sPOV

Thecar ride couldn’t have been more awkward; she could almost hear his thoughts.She needed to remind him that no matter was going on in his mind, no matter thebattles he faced within, she would always be right by his side. So she did theone thing she could think of; she grabbed his hook and squeezed it as if itwere a hand. Emma didn’t move her eyes from the road, but in her peripheralvision she could see that he was taken aback by this.

Shetook in a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong Killian, but I’m here for youwhenever you’re ready. I promise I’m not running anymore.” It wasn’t exactlywhat she wanted to say - Killian was better with words than she was - but shecould tell he knew what she really meant.

Theyfinally arrived to the town line where her parents and Regina were waiting forthe two of them. There was a protection spell over the town that Regina thoughtshe and Emma were powerful enough to take down. Her parents wanted to be thereto support her, but they needed to go soon. As much as she loved her mother shewas the worst at keeping secrets, and Snow had almost ruined everything earlierthat week at their family dinner.  

Emmaand Killian made their way over to the trio, hand in hook. “Hey, what are youguys doing here?” She tried to play it off like there was nothing wrong - herparents shouldn’t even be there - but her mom appeared to be uneasy, and Emmacould sense she was struggling to keep her thoughts to herself.

“Uh,I…we just thought-”

“Wewere both worried, and just wanted to make sure everything went alright withthe spell.” David was smooth, and even though she knew it was partly because hewas trying to cover up the truth, she knew their concerns were genuine ones.

“Right,well we should get the spell started.” Emma let go of Killian’s hook, threw hima wink and rubbed her hands together.

“It’sabout time Ms. Swan.” Thank god Regina could keep it together; at least shecould keep a secret (like keeping an entire town cursed with no real memoriesfor twenty-eight years). Emma desperately needed to talk to the three of themalone, but how was she supposed to get Killian to walk away without being tooobvious? “Do you have the spell? I sent it to you yesterday, remember?”

IfEmma hadn’t been in on it, she would’ve actually believed her.

“Dammit,I left my phone in the car…uh, Hook? Can you get my phone from the car? Ican’t remember the spell without it. Please?” she asked sweetly, batting hereyes. Her efforts seemed to be paying off because he had that playful smirk onhis face. She loved seeing her pirate returning to his more charming self.

Assoon as he walked away, the four of them gathered closely.

“Doyou think he suspects anything?” Snow looked around the group; neither of themwere impressed with her acting skills, or rather, lack thereof.

“Well,we all know how well you can keep a secret,” Regina teased with a smirk,

Davidrolled his eyes in response, and Snow stood straight up in defense,flabbergasted. She couldn’t think of a retort.

“OhI’m kidding, jeez. No, I don’t think the pirate knows the truth. How muchlonger are you going to let this go on for?”

Sheknew she was pressing her luck - Killian was quite perceptive. She looked overto the bug where Killian seemed to be struggling to find her phone. She duckedher head back down. “He saw me talking to Liam, or at least I think he did. Ifeel bad keeping something from him, but-”

“It’sthe best you can do until tonight, we know.” Her father gave her that signatureCharming smile. She was lucky he had come around and was now best mates withKillian. She could see Killian start to walk back over to the group.

Shit,he looked upset again - as if he were hurt by whatever was bothering himearlier.

“Listen,I love you guys, but I need you to leave - now.” Her parents knew theywere needed elsewhere, so they gave her a quick hug and said goodbye to Hook asthey walked past him.

WhenKillian approached, Emma went in for a hug. She was never one for PDA, but shestill wasn’t over their return from the Underworld, and liked to make sure hewas really there, every now and then. He usually welcomed her with open arms,but this time he just extended his arm, giving her the phone.

“Seemslike you really don’t need me, so I best be off. Bye Swan.” His voice wasstrong but at the same time, ready to crack;  it was as though he couldbreak down at any second. His face was white, but the tips of his ears werebright pink; it looked like he couldn’t decide what he was feeling at thatmoment.

Emmatried to stop him, but he shrugged off her arm and continued to walk away fromher.

Hewas actually walking away from her - from them.

Whathad changed in the five minutes he went looking for her phone? she wondered. Then shelooked down at the screen.

Seriously?

Killian’sPOV

Assoon as he walked towards the trio, he knew something was wrong; as if theywere all in on something, and he was the odd man out. He knew her parents stillhad some reservations about him, but he thought he was winning them over. Heand Regina, on the other hand, had always had some understanding, but he stillfelt very uneasy walking over towards the group.

“Hey,what are you guys doing here?” Usually Swan was happy to see her parents,especially after their adventure back in time - he could see their relationshipwas stronger than ever and that they truly loved one another - but what reallythrew him off was how Snow responded; he wasn’t even sure if he could considerthat a response.

“Uh,I…we just thought-”

Hecould see the quick flash of panic in her eyes - it was a simple question andyet she was struggling to answer it. What the bloody hell was happening?

“Wewere both worried, and just wanted to make sure everything went alright withthe spell.” David was smooth, but Killian could tell the Prince was hidingsomething from- well, he wasn’t really sure why. He decided not to look too farinto it, and to just let it go. Everything was just in his head, and he neededto move on from that morning and just be happy with his Swan.

“Right,well we should get the spell started.”

“It’sabout time Ms. Swan. Do you have the spell? I sent it to you yesterday,remember?” Regina seemed to be in a mood, but the Queen had been through a lotrecently, so who was he to judge her?

“Dammit,I left my phone in the car…uh, Hook? Can you get my phone from the car? Ican’t remember the spell without it. Please?” She used his moniker and batteredher eyelashes; he couldn’t believe his little minx was playing with him likethat in front of her family. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and went toretrieve her talking device. He still didn’t fully understand the blastedcontraption, but it allowed her to communicate with him, even when they weren’ttogether, so he appreciated the magical talking phone.

As heopened the driver’s door, he immediately found her phone - it was buzzingincessantly -and accidently clicked something; he wasn’t sure what, but itopened up her virtual correspondence with someone. He didn’t meant to pry, butfor some reason he decided to take a peek at the screen.

Whale:Everythingis good to go.

Emma:Areyou sure? I’m just really scared after our last appointment.

Lastappointment? What the bloody hell happened at this appointment? He knew heneeded to mind his own business, but since Emma wasn’t going to tell him whatwas happening, he needed to find out on his own.

Whale:YES!I promise. Does Killian suspect anything?

Thatbastard had the nerve to mention him during this…this transgression? Was thatwhat was happening?

Killianwas furious.

Helooked over to Emma seeing the lot of them huddled together. They all knewsomething that he didn’t, and he was tired of being the fool; privacy be damned- he needed to know what was going on.

Emma:No,he doesn’t. Thank god. I don’t know how to tell him…

Whale:Wellyou might want to tell him soon.

Whale:I’mready for the next appointment whenever you are

Whale:Ipromise, I am here for you, whatever you need sweetie

Thatbastard! That soon-to-be-dead bastard!

Killianhad read enough - he was done.

As hewalked back towards the group he could hear them mumbling; whatever they were hiding,he couldn’t care less about - they could all bugger off. He’d had his heartripped from his chest once by the crocodile, but this pain was different; howcould his Swan betray him like this?

Helooked up and saw Snow and David walking towards him, both with giant smiles ontheir faces. How could they be okay with this? He thought they had liked him,but apparently they wanted better than an old pirate for their daughter. Hedidn’t smile back at them; he couldn’t fake it as they did. As he walked overto Emma, she was opening her arms to bring him in for a hug. His heart wasbreaking even more, and he didn’t think that was even possible at this point.He wanted to be mad at her - he was hurt - but yet he wanted to get down on hisknees and beg for her to take him back. He decided to hand her the phone; hecouldn’t be around her right now.

“Seemslike you really don’t need me, So I best be off. Bye Swan.” He could feel hisvoice breaking - it matched his heart. She tried to stop him, but the tears hadalready started forming in his eyes. He knew he was being a hypocrite, but atthat moment it didn’t matter; he needed to go the docks and try to think abouthis future. He needed to decide if Storybrooke was really his home.

Whenhe arrived at the docks, he sat on the perch, feeling a sense of nostalgia ashe did, That’s when he realized that this was the same spot he and Emma oncesat when he said it was his job to protect her heart. He always knew there wasa chance she would run, but he never thought it would actually happen. Theywere so happy, or at least he was. He loved her; he always would, even if shenever loved him back.

Hesat there for what seemed like an eternity the ocean calmed him. He missedliving out on the open seas; he was a changed man and knew he couldn’t go backto being a pirate, but maybe an adventure wouldn’t be a bad thing. Then herealized that the last person he promised to take sailing was Henry, so theycould have an adventure. He had grown so close with the lad; Killian knew hecould never replace Henry’s father, but he thought of Henry as his own in someways. Killian knew he actually couldn’t leave Storybrooke; this was his homenow. There was a life before Swan, and he could try to find anew.

Hesaw someone off in the distance coming towards him, and he knew exactly who itwas.

“Ahoythere little brother! I’ve been looking for you all afternoon.”

Emma’sPOV

Seriously?Those are the texts he’d read? They did not look good, she could admit that,but it wasn’t what he was probably thinking.

Shit.

Sheshouldn’t have tried to go behind his back, and she should’ve just told him thetruth right away.

“What’shis problem?”

Emmamoved towards Regina to show her the texts, her jaw dropped.

“Ohno, he probably thought-”

“Yup,he saw me earlier with his brother, too. I thought he was onto us, but now I’mpretty sure he thinks I’m cheating on him with Whale.” Emma cringed at thethought, remembering that once upon a time her mother and Whale…yeah, shedidn’t want to continue any further with that thought.

“Well,what are you going to do? You’ve gone through too much to lose him over somethingso trivial.”

Emmawas taken aback; she knew Regina cared about her, but to think that the EvilQueen was one of her closest friends, always threw her off .

Emmatried to think of what to do, and realized Regina was right; Emma was not goingto give up on her happy beginning so easily. Couples fight, and there aretypically t things they need to work out - most don’t have to worry aboutVictor Frankenstein and their boyfriend’s formerly dead brother causing drama.Then it hit her. “Liam!”

Reginadidn’t seem convinced by the idea Emma offered her.

“Iknow Killian was mad at him earlier, but if anyone can get through to Killianright now it’s his brother. He’d always listened to Liam, whether he wanted toor not.” Emma called Liam and tried to explain everything, but he was toodisappointed with his brother’s lack of good form to fully listen and went offto find “Killian’s sorry arse”. Liam made a promise that Killian would meet heroutside of Granny’s by 7pm, as they had talked about earlier.

“Regina,you got this? I need to go get ready for tonight.”

“Goodluck. Oh and congrats Emma.”

Emmaleaned over, gave her friend a quick hug goodbye, and raced back to the bug;she still had a lot she needed to do before she saw Killian again - well if heshowed up, that is.

Killian’sPOV

“Goaway Liam, I don’t want to talk to you.” Killian turned his back, but at thesame time, cursed himself for treating his brother so cruelly after being apartfor centuries and finally reuniting again. He couldn’t look at his brotherthough; he was still upset from whatever he saw going on between he and Emmathat morning.

“Funny,I didn’t come here for you to talk, you git. Killian, what is going on withyou? I know your Emma is strong, but I could tell that she was upset; I couldhear it in her voice.”

“Wellbrother, I thought you and Emma were so close. Why don’t you tellme what’s going on?” His voice was harsh; he could tell his brother wastaken aback by Killian’s brash behavior. He finally turned to look Liam in theeyes, and all Killian could see was pity.

“Killian,I don’t know what you thought you saw, but I promise you it’s not like that betweenEmma and me. I know you love her, and don’t deny it. She brings out the best inyou, and you in her. I cannot tell you what we were discussing; it’s up to herto tell you when the time is right, but I promise brother - she loves you too.”

Killian’seyes grew wide; Emma loved him too? He could feel his heart becomingfull again, but then he remembered the texts.

“I’mnot so sure of that; I read her messages to Whale. There’s something going onbetween the two of them.” Killian hung his head again, and becameemotional once more.

“Killian,oh no little brother. Come here.” Liam wrapped Killian into a hug. The brothershad never been open about such displays prior, but without thinking, Killianwrapped his arms around his brother as well. “I wish I could get more into thiswith you, but I’m going to need you to trust me when I say you need to go meetEmma at Granny’s in - oh - well, now actually.” “

Killiancould see that his brother was being honest. Killian knew he needed to go toEmma, that there was more to the story. The wheels started to spin in his headof what was really going on with Emma, he thought was onto something then hisbrother’s voice cut in. “And remember Killian, a man unwilling to fight forwhat he wants-”

“Getswhat he deserves. Aye Liam I need to go to her.”

EmmaPOV

Shewas fine. Besides the pacing and the fidgeting, she was fine. She knew Liam wasgoing to get through to Killian; she knew that he was going to show up. He waslate - and being late was her thing. She made a vow in that moment to never belate again.

Shewas going over the plan in her head again and again; she was going to tell himthe truth - all of it. Emma decided she couldn’t let her fears control heranymore; what they had was real and true. She wasn’t the scared little girlanymore, she had her family she had her- “Killian. You came?”

“Aye,love I did. I talked to my brother, and I’m sorry for acting like a jealousarse and walking away from you. I should have never done that. I should haveconfronted you about the texts. I promise I will never walk away from you everagain. Can you ever forgive me Emma?”

Shecouldn’t help but smile at his rant as she moved closer to him, taking his handand hook. “Killian, there’s nothing to forgive. I would’ve reacted the sameway. Hell, I probably would’ve done a lot worse. I’m sorry you found thosemessages, and I know you saw Liam and I in the street and I’m sorry forupsetting you. I never meant to hurt-”

Killiancut her off with a kiss, and it quickly grew into something that could only bedescribed as passionate. Emma’s hands wrapped around his neck as he pulled herinto his arms so that there was no distance between them. Their hands startedto wander as Emma turned her head letting Killian deepen the kiss.

Theyfinally broke apart when they needed a breath; Killian rested his forehead onher’s.

“NowSwan, why did you want to meet at Granny’s? I can think of a few other placeswhere we could engage in more enjoyable activities.”

Emmahad completely forgotten why they were there and not in bed, but then sheremembered all of the people in Granny’s and that they were there for them.

“Ah,why don’t I show you?”

Hemerely nodded and gave her a kiss as she led them inside. As they entered thedark room she turned to Killian, and then the lights turned on.

Killian’sPOV

“SURPRISE!!!!”

“Bloodyhell!” Killian turned to Emma, catching the sheepish smile on her face - shehad done this all for him? “Emma, why?”

“Killian,as a family we have had some special moments here, together. We’ve celebratedwhen Mom and I returned, when Zelena was defeated and Neal’s birth, and I justwanted you to have your moment - us to have a moment.”

Killiancould feel the tears coming; for the third time today, he was going to crybecause of Emma. Gods, he did not deserve this woman, but he swore he wouldlove her until his last breath…again. He gave her a hug, and, rememberingthat they were being watched by pretty much the entire town, a quick peck onthe lips.

Killianmade his way around the room, greeting and thanking everyone, although he stillwasn’t quite sure what exactly they were celebrating. Reaching the back of thediner, he stood next to the booth where Snow, David, Henry and Regina werealready sitting.

“Love,as much as I appreciate this party, what are we celebrating?”

Emma’sface quickly turned a shade of bright red as she laughed looking down at herhot chocolate. In fact, everyone was either giggling, or making some silly facein reaction to his inquiry. He let out a huff. “Seriously, what is it?” heasked, looking around the table and trying to get someone to tell him.

“Ahlittle brother, I know it’s been some time since you’ve properly celebrated,but it’s your birthday!”

Killianturned around to find his brother.

“That’swhy you saw me and Emma in the street; she was just confirming that today wasyour actual birthday.”

“Ittook a lot of digging Captain, but with your brother’s help we were able tofinally find out your birthday. And you know I don’t really believe in fate orwhatever, but today is also the day we met…” She mumbled the last bit, almostas if she were embarrassed to remember their first encounter. He saw Snow’sreaction; she wasn’t doing much to hide the giant grin upon her face, and Davidand Regina rolled their eyes in response to her.

Killiangrabbed Emma’s hot chocolate, putting it down on the table so he could hold herhand. “Aye love; I know what today is for us.”

Hereyes darted to his, encouraging him to continue.

“Swanhow could I forget? It was the day I fe- saw you, the first time I felt like Iwas truly living again. Seems only fitting that I met you on my birthday -you’re the greatest gift I could ever hope for.” Killian stared at her as ifshe were his entire world - which she was. She couldn’t take her eyes off himeither, until he threw her a quick wink for good measure. He loved watching herblush and fully intended on making her flushed tonight, although for adifferent reason.

“Arewe good here?” Henry asked, quickly trying to cut the tension that wasobviously building between his mother and Killian. He knew he needed to reel itin, especially in front of the boy.

Emmaleaned over, gave Henry a quick kiss on his head, and apologized for “makingdoe eyes” as Regina loved to put it.

“Emma,I think you’re forgetting a very important part of the celebration?” her motherchimed in.

Killianraised one brow, eyeing her in confusion. Emma dropped his hand and went aroundthe corner to go grab a box covered in the most hideous parchment he had everseen. “It’s called a gift, Hook.” She was being sarcastic, and he loved whenshe teased him about being from another realm.

“Iknow what a gift is darling,” he responded, then spoke in a much lower voice,“I promise tonight I will be the gift that keeps on giving.” Thankfully, no oneheard the last bit; he was sure Dave would’ve run him through again if he heardwhat he had said to his daughter. Killian began to unwrap the gift and open upa box. His eyes blew wide when he saw what was inside.

Neverin his wildest dream was he expecting that to be inside the box.

Emma’sPOV

The partywas a success. Killian seemed to be enjoying himself, but she was stillpetrified of what was to come. She was enjoying spending time with her family -her very large and ever growing family. It was weird to think about how far shehad come since meeting Henry just a few years ago, she was forever thankfulthat little boy had come into her life again.

Killianand Emma made their rounds, saying hello to the town, thanking them for comingto celebrating Killian’s birthday. Emma thought it was cute that he didn’tunderstand why they had gathered everyone together. Killian’s words had movedher when he said she was the best gift he could hope for. Then Emma’s heartdropped when her mother reminded her of what she was waiting to give toKillian. She had never been more nervous in her life.

Whatif he ran? What if he didn’t want this? They hadn’t really talked about thisbefore, but this was Killian. He treated Henry like his own; he fit in witheveryone in the family perfectly.

Well,it’s now or never Swan. Emma excused herself, went, and grabbed his gift.

“Iknow what a gift is darling,” he responded, then spoke in a much lower voice,“I promise tonight I will be the gift that keeps on giving.”

Ohthank god her father didn’t hear that. She nudged Killian for his comment,encouraging him to open the damn thing. When he finally did, his eyes wentwide, jaw dropping down to the floor.

“Is..doesthis…?”

“Yeah,it does Killian.” There were two onesies in there that read “Daddy’s FirstMate” and “Mommy’s Little Pirate,” along with the sonogram from her firstappointment.

“Emma,we’re having a child?”

Shebarely nodded before he grabbed her hand, rushing away from her family. Shehadn’t expected that he’d literally run away. Then before she realized what washappening she was standing on the counter, eyes all on her and Killian.

“MayI have everyone’s attention? Good! I would like to let you all know that thiswoman has now given me the best gift for my birthday - and I don’t meanGranny’s lasagna. I am going to be a father!”

Cheersrang out from the entire crowd, as Granny hollered for them to get off thecounter.

Hefinally jumped down and carefully helped Emma back down to the ground. Killianwas still clutching on to the photo of their baby as they went outside to talkin private for a moment..

“Swan,how long have you known?” He couldn’t have wiped the smile off his face if hetried; he was practically jumping up and down as if he were the small child.

“Onlya week. Mom and Regina were with me when I took the test. They forced me to gosee Whale - that’s what those messages were about. I’m sorry I didn’t tell youright away! We were already planning the party and I thought - well Snowthought - that it would be a cute idea to give you the outfits as a gift.You’re not mad?”

“Emmahow could I ever be mad at you? You’ve made me the happiest man alive tonight, justas you do every other night.” Killian leaned in for a kiss and it quicklyescalated, as most of their kisses did.

“Killian,there’s something I want to say while it’s just the two of us.” Emma could seeKillian’s entire body posture change; he became tense which, given theirhistory, she couldn’t blame him. “I know I should have said this a while ago,and I feel like you already know this - or at least I hope you know. I loveyou, Killian Jones.”

Emmacould see the tension in his features transform into pure joy; it was as if hehad been waiting a lifetime for this moment.

“Emma,I feel like you’ve known for a while where I stand, but I’ve been waiting foryou to say that so I could say: Emma Swan, my love, I’m in love with you.”

[zwei-the-penguin-with-a-pen]

‘Little Talks’

Lindsay and Ruby

"It's nice to see you again! How's Michael? OHMYGOSH IRIS IS THE CUTEST BABY EVER!!!" Ruby asked Lindsay, squeaking the latter at the height of her voice. "I saw your photoshoot the other day. She's adorable."

"Yeah, she's amazing. I think we're doing pretty well. How's everything on your side?"

"Killing monsters, saving the world from a maniac, trying to get some alone time with Weiss... you know, the usual." Ruby chuckled. Her expression turned dark just as Lindsay was going to laugh. "I miss Penny. A shame she got put off the show. I need to visit her in Atlas sometime. Have you heard her new music?"

"I actually haven't," Lindsay raised an eyebrow. "I thought the Mechanical Girls stopped writing songs."

"They had for awhile, but they got back on it and made a whole new EP. It's pretty great. There's a lot more brass this time, and you know I'm all about that brass." The two of them shared a snicker.

"Gods, look at the time! I've got to get back to the studio. They want me to run some lines for Camp Camp today."

"That's right! I hope the new season goes great! I have some errands to run for Weiss, and I'd like to get them finished before she decides she's mad or something. I don't want the cup of ice incident again..." She faked a scared face, but her laughter destroyed it. Ruby and Lindsay hugged and parted ways.

\/\/\/\/\/

Kara and Weiss

Weiss beckoned the waitron and requested another lemonade. Kara munched on her food, complimenting the waitron as she sped off to grab Weiss's drink.

"So, how's the new job going?" Kara asked between bites, sipping her smoothie. Wiess had just bitten into a forkful of noodles.

"MMH!" She started to speak, realizing she still had food in her mouth. Thankfully for the server's swift return, she sipped her new lemonade for a moment. "Gods, that's good. Anyway, so it's going pretty well. Poor baby Whitley realized he couldn't manage with the big bad Beowolves his daddy used to deal with, so Winter stepped in and passed me the reigns." Weiss grinned, still to this day pleased with herself.

Little Shitley had run home with his tail between his legs once Winter and Weiss appeared.

"Incredible. I know you're doing great things with the SDC. Speaking of who, I need some Gravity Dust. Is there a good retailer I can visit, or should I just buy straight from you?"

"Well, we don't deal with Gravity too much, as it's one of the more difficult to come by, but we do have a healthy supply at the moment." Kara smiled at Weiss's words.

"Finally! I've been looking and asking around forever, it seems. I would have asked sooner, but you're so crazy busy these days."

"I imagine you are, too! Is the gig still going well? It's a shame you left RT, but bigger and better things are never a bad choice." Weiss was thrilled that Kara still did a little voice acting, but she also loved Kara's animation work. These two could talk for ages.

"It's pretty great. I still like voice acting, but I feel like I'm getting more accomplished at this studio." The two of them chattered away as they ate, both thankful for a bit of time away from it all. Weiss and Kara each gave the server a remarkable tip, as she'd taken great care of them. The two of them said their goodbyes.

\/\/\/\/\/

Arryn and Blake

Arryn kept the treadmill at a brisk pace while Blake curled some dumbbells. Workout time was always a good time, especially when they had the gym to themselves. They shared their music since both of them enjoyed it and no one was around to stop them. That took away the sound of headset microphones bumping and thumping.

"Look at you, getting all ripped and chiseled," Arryn mentioned. Blake laughed it off. "Seriously, you'll have better arms than Yang if you keep that up."

"You aren't looking so bad yourself. I don't know why you bother, but I guess you have your reasons." Blake winked at her. She couldn't tell if Arryn was blushing or already red from the running. It was nice to work out with someone besides Yang or Sun. Blake tossed the weights onto their rack and made for the leg machines.

"Oh geez, you're doing legs too?"

"Everyday is leg day. Then again, when you're sharing a gym with Yang, you do everything every day." Blake smirked as she pushed her legs. "This Bellabooty doesn't maintain itself." She joked, Arryn laughing hard as she stole a drink from her water bottle.

"I bet Yang loves leg day! Or rather, you love when Yang does leg day!"

"You shut your face!" Blake retorted, but she could hardly help but smile. "Well, Yang doing legs is better than Sun doing upper body stuff."

"You work out with Sun, too?" That surprised Arryn.

"Well, I don't really choose to. He just never stops working out. Every speck of his free time not devoted to shagging Neptune is spent in the gym. Yet Yang still has better abs." They both chortled at that. Blake wasn't wrong, Arryn knew.

"Well, I've seen Yang do squats while holding you on her shoulders, pushups with you on her back, basically use you as a weight." Arryn shot back, changing over from the treadmill to a rowing machine.

"It's nice to actually work out instead of being a prop sometimes." Blake giggled. The song changed and Blake grinned. "This is my jam."

\/\/\/\/\/

Barbara and Yang

"This suit is pretty itchy..." Yang complained, hoping the sequence would be filmed soon enough. Doing motion-capture was fun, to be sure, but after a while, the getup felt pretty nasty.

"Just one more time, ladies!" Miles called from behind one camera. Kerry was manning another one.

"You're just blowing off steam because you know you have to throw the fight," Barbara snickered.

"The only thing blowing in here is your mouth, Blondie!" Yang snapped, the crew getting a nice laugh. The jokes were all in good fun, and they passed the time between takes.

"I don't blow anything! I have BD, after all!" Barb shot back. Yang shook her head.

"Sweetie, that was bad... Even for you. Like, that just killed the mood. I can't hang... or should I say I can't Yang!" That earned a groan from everyone within earshot.

"Goddammit Yang..." Kerry muttered.

"HA! For once it wasn't me!" Barb jabbed. Miles called for them to start the scene again, and the two blondes stood at their marks and waited for the starting call. Once it came, the two of them began their pretend scrap. They threw missed punches and just-shy kicks at one another. Gods, MoCap was almost as fun as actual fighting.

Yang wondered how it would feel to actually fight Barbara. She was a lot smaller, but she certainly had some strong arms. Barbara didn't seem like much of a fighter, though. Yang only had a taste for it because it was part of her job.

The last 'strike' of the fight came, and Yang pretended to take the hit and fall over. "CUT!" She heard from off to the side.

"THAT'S THE ONE!" Kerry added to Miles's call. "Wonderful job, ladies."

"Finally I can get out of this suit!" Yang started tearing her way out of the MoCap suit. She realized she'd only worn under-pinnings underneath, so she scooped up her bag and shuffled over to the restroom.

"Yeah, let's not give the kids a show, Yang." Barb nicked.

"Nothing they wouldn't enjoy, Barb!" Yang called back as the door closed behind her.

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

Day 23: CRWBY Member

I don’t know, I just imagine the VA’s being friends and hanging out and doing cool junk with their characters. Some fourth-wall breaking in a couple of places.

I have two nights off work, so I might get caught up again. Given that the next prompt is RWBY Chibi, I can just write some sketchy shenanigans and get on with it.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Laura saw you two making-out...” - Old Man Logan x Reader

#6. Getting caught making out with Logan for @jobean12-blog.

At first I started to write a story with “normal” Logan, but then…Well I got inspired by (film) Old Man Logan and Laura, so…yeah. Though it didn’t turn out how I initially thought it would, it turned out more…serious than funny, but like, with a movie like Logan as an original material…you know ^^’. . Hope you’ll still like it and will be ok with the Old Man Logan blahblahblah :

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

You couldn’t even recall the last time you had a moment like this…Was it over a year ago ? Before Charles lost control of his power and destroyed everything he ever build ? Before all your friends died ? Before you, Logan and the professor had to run away from the X-Mansion and hide because of what happened ? Right before you called Caliban for help maybe ?

You couldn’t remember. But it was hell of a long time ago.

Yes, Logan and you hadn’t had a moment of intimacy like that in ages…

Ever since the Xavier’s school incident.

This was so refreshing. So nice.

Feeling his tongue in your mouth, his body flushed against yours, his hands roaming your body, his smile in the kiss as your grip tightened around him.

It almost felt like old times. When things were easier. When things weren’t so complicated. When it was just you and your loved ones, living an almost normal life in the mansion, saving the World on a regular basis…

But this time was long gone, and you definitely cherished that fleeting moment you had right now with your Wolverine.

*******************

It wasn’t really meant to happen. It kinda just did. Which made it even greater than  it would be if it was planned.

Since you had to run away from the X-Mansion over a year ago, you and Logan rarely had time for yourselves.

He was working really late everyday, and when he came home, was too tired to do anything else but sleep. And you had quite busy days too, working your ass off as well to be able to buy the sun seeker one day, and leave this godforsaken place.

When Logan was coming home, he’d slip in your shared bed, next to your sleeping form, snuggling against you, holding you tight in his arms. The very rare moment of intimacy you shared were actually in the morning, before you both had to get up to do some more work, or take care of Charles (even with Caliban, it was a difficult task…the three of you had often trouble taking care of the aging man, he was such a handful when he wanted to).

Only in those little moments in the morning, he’d have time to make love to you, and it would almost feel like old times. Skin on skin, just enjoying each others’ presence. Though worries would never really leave your thoughts anymore.

Yes, mornings were the only time you and Logan could show each others’ the love you had for one another…because no matter how much the world went to shit, this would never changed. He loves you, you love him.

Sometimes though, you missed simpler days. Hell, you were lying to yourself if you thought you missed them only sometimes. You wished you could go back in time, and enjoy the things you took for granted more…

Because now, you could never go out on a simple date, to have some dinner, to go to the movie theater, or simply to go for a walk hands in hands. You could never spent a lazy day next to a lake, laying on the forrest floor, in each others’ arms. You could never stargaze anymore. Or go for a motorcycle ride. You could never spend entire nights having sex, or talking about anything and everything while watching very stupid B-movies. You could never again play baseball with your friends…And you couldn’t just kiss your Wolverine like you used to, carefree. He couldn’t kiss your stress away anymore, and you couldn’t kiss his sorrow goodbye…Now, every single things you did were plagued by dark thoughts.

You almost hated your past self for not enjoying the time she had with her loved ones more. The time she shared with Logan, just the two of you. The time she had with her X-Men friends,  before they all died…Nostalgia often washed over you. And sadness was one of the only feeling Logan seemed to have nowadays. Sadness and anger. Love too, whenever he saw you…but even that was tainted with the turn your lives took.

You didn’t know if you had a future. You didn’t know if you’d ever be able to leave on the sun seeker. And if you did, what would happen of Caliban ? And what if Charles had a particularly strong stroke that’d kill all of you ? Or if Logan’s state worsened and you lost him ?

Fuck you missed simpler times…But at least, you still had those mornings in Logan’s arms.

But that was taken away from you as well, when Laura came in.

***************

Laura. There was no doubt that she was Logan’s daughter, no matter what he said. No matter how he liked to deny it. And though she was the reason you and your Wolverine didn’t have any moments of intimacy anymore, you couldn’t be mad at her.

Hell, you fell an instant connection between you and her. After all, if she was Logan’s kid…she was yours too right ? You had been with Logan for many many years, you shared everything already so…it just seemed natural.

Besides, she was the most incredible and amazing kid you ever met. You wished Logan could see it too…

You and Laura communicated in your own ways. You talked to her a lot, about anything, about the X-Men, the school, your favorite tv shows etc etc…and she listened to everything, interest filling her eyes. She wouldn’t talk back of course, but she’d listened. And that’s all you needed really.

*****************

The car rides were the only moments you could touch Logan now. You’d leave your head on his shoulder while he was driving, sometimes feeling his hand on your thigh, or him leaving a kiss on your forehead…But that was it. At night, you and him would take turn to keep your eyes open for any danger, you couldn’t sleep together anymore. And by day, if you weren’t in the car…well, you were in a motel for the nights. So your only moments to touch him, was the car…it wasn’t much, but at least it was something.

However this evening, as you got out of said car, you felt a particularly strong wave of nostalgia washing over you as Logan brushed gentle fingers over your cheek before taking Charles away…he used to do that a lot, to show you his affection. A simple brush of his fingers on your cheeks.

Laura’s hand was in yours, bringing you back to real life, and she was squeezing it, giving you a questioning look. Logan and Charles were arguing while as they went toward the Motel room. You turn to the girl (that you grew to think as “your” girl) and say :

-It’s alright sweetheart. I’m alright. I just need…Some alone time you know ?

She nods, and lets go off you. As you walk to the nearby forrest, you can feel her gaze on you.

*******************

It doesn’t take you long to find the perfect spot. Near a stream. The sound of water soothe you beyond any measure. You sit on the hard floor, and sigh deeply. You have to collect your thoughts, you cannot take the luxury of feeling sad and beat down, you need to be strong for them. For Charles. Laura. Logan…especially Logan. You know he’s really not alright lately…

*******************

About thirty minutes must have gone by when you hear your Wolverine’s heavy footsteps stomp the ground and getting closer. You turn your head, and here it is…Your heart miss a beat.

He looks distressed, and in his eyes, you can only see fear. What’s happening ? Did Tnansigen found you again ? Already ?

But as he takes in the sight of you sitting next to the stream, the fear quickly disappear, and turn into anger.

-What the Hell (Y/N) ?

-…What ?

-What the fuck were you thinking going off on your own like that ?!

He approaches you quickly and, grabbing your wrists, forces you to stand up.

-Why did you leave without a word like that ?

-I…I told you…I told Laura…i was…I needed some time and…

-You should have told me goddammit ! I was worried sick ! What the fuck was that (Y/N) ? We’re in constant danger because of this guys, and you run off like that ? Are you that crazy ?

You’re stun, you don’t know what to say. His voice is almost cracking…and his grip on you is bruising :

-I thought I lost you for fuck sake ! I thought you were gone ! I can’t loose anyone anymore (Y/N), my heart cannot handle it. And especially not you…ESPECIALLY NOT YOU !

His voice cracked at the end and his breathing is loud and hard

Slowly but surely, his anger subsides. He’s realizing you’re here, safe, you’re alright, he did not loose you. His hands let go off your wrists and fall limps on each side of his body…yours go up to cup his cheeks.

In his eyes, there’s only sadness, relief, and so much love for you. That’s something that never changed. No matter all the shit you two went through, he never stopped loving you. And you him. That was the only constant in both your lives, the only thing that kept you going really… That kept him from shooting himself with this fucking adamantium bullet.

You bring your lips up to his, and kiss him softly. Your arms wrap around his neck, and…he responds. Of course he does.

The kiss turns hungry.

Here. That is it. It feels exactly like it.

It feels exactly like when you were younger, when things were still all good…After a difficult mission, he’d kiss you like that. After not seeing you in a while, he’d kiss you like that. When he needed you, he’d kiss you like that.

Before, a long time ago that was long gone…

But it was back. Right now. As he deepened the kiss.

He wasn’t an old dying man that didn’t have any hope left in him, he was the Wolverine you fell in love with. The strong guy who would always got your back, and who was dreaming of a life spent at your side. A house. Kids maybe ? Things you’d never have, but that in this moment, seemed possible again.

One of his hand is holding strongly your waist, while the other slowly creep up your shirt…yes. This is it. One of those moments you used to share. A make-out session near a stream of water after a hike in the Canadian rockies. That’s the memory that came to your mind.

You can feel him smile in the kiss, and you know he feels it too. The love, the heat, the connection you always had since the moment you both met. The good old times where you would kiss each other any where and everywhere, no matter if you had an audience or not. The time were kisses would grow hungry in matter of minutes.

He was lifting your shirt more and more, while his other hand started to slip down your pants, tongues wrestling with each other. If it was like old time, he would soon lay you down and…

The noise of a branch cracking brings you both back to reality, breaks the moment from the past you just had, and in a second, your both in full fighting mode, ready to fight any threat that’d might have come your way.

It’s Laura. It’s the girl. Your little girl.

Logan groans, and before you can react, he barks at her :

-The Hell you’re doing here ?

She doesn’t answer, of course. If she could speak, she would tell you she came to check on you, because she was worried. But she doesn’t. She just stares at you. She’s not an idiot however, she can see, feel, hear the hostility inhabiting Logan. And she knows it’s destined to her…So she leaves. You try to catch her, but Logan grabs you again and goes back to kiss you.

Later, you would feel guilty about not running after Laura, about not reassuring her that she did nothing wrong…But for now, you couldn’t not enjoy the rare moments you had with your Wolverine.

It had been years. Thousand of years. God it felt great.

******************

You came back to the motel room hours later, hands in hands, in a better mood than you ever been. Night has fallen but Laura and Charles weren’t sleeping, and that made Logan frowned. Damn that man.

As you enter the room, you notice Charles mischievous face, and you wonder why he makes such a face…But you can’t help but smile at him, because his grin makes him look twenty years younger, and you’re faced once again with the teacher that always took care of you.

-So…Logan, (Y/N)…Laura told me you two were hanging out in the forrest.

Logan lets go off your hand, and grumble. He always hated people talking about his personal life, some things would never change.

-From my understanding…She caught you two making out.

You blush, embarrassed, and Logan groans some more.

-She has been asking me a looooot of questions.

You’re not sure you like where this is going…

-There’s one I told her you guys would explain to her.

Logan gives Charles a menacing look, but Hell, the professor is 90 fucking years old, and Logan never intimidated him much anyway, so he continues :

-She said you both looked happy. She asked me if she should put her tongue in people’s mouth, and her hands up people’s shirt to make them happy. She thinks it must be it, that she learned a new trick.

You almost burst out laughing at the horrified facial expression Logan has all of a sudden. Almost. Because the thought of an eleven years old girl going around and making out with people to make them happy disturbed you. Logan, regaining his countenance, turn to a very curious Laura and says :

-Oh no. No. No no no no noooooooh. That’s not…Don’t…Don’t do that. It’s for grown ups. You’ll…hum…You’ll die if you do that before you’re 18. No, before you’re like, 25. Hell, 30.

Charles muffles a chuckle, and you can’t help but smile at him again, because that’s your good old Charles, the one who taught you everything. The one that knew when to be serious, but also when to joke about things, because “life couldn’t always be serious”, like he used to say. Besides, you gotta admit, it’s pretty funny to see Logan fall in “dad mode” without even realizing that he is. You’re pretty sure he doesn’t realize that he’s acting like a proper father right now.

Laura tilt her head on the side while Logan is still rambling about she should not even try to make out before she’s forty, because it’d instantly killed her. Like. Swoosh, hit by a lightning…or something. Charles cuts him off :

-She’s asking me what it means, then. Why were you doing it if it was so dangerous ?

Logan and you exchange a look, and you ask him silently if he wants you to answer (you’ve always been able to communicate just by looking at each others…it used to freak some of your friends out, because none of you had the power of telepathy). He shakes his head. He’ll do it.

-Again Logan, she’s asking why you put your tongue in (Y/N)’s mouth if it meant her life would be in danger. She doesn’t believe she’s over forty.

You give Laura a half-smile, what a cute girl. Logan starts his explanation, and his voice is more sure than ever :

-It’s different. We’re in love. Which means…hum…The effect is the opposite than if you do it with a stranger. If I kiss (Y/N), it makes us both feel…happy, like you said. But it has to be done between two people who are deeply in love with each other…Hum…Yeah…know what I mean ?

Of course, she shakes her head. Charles doesn’t even have to say she doesn’t quite get it…Logan continues :

-Ok hum…Imagine you have…hum…Do you know what love is ?

She nods, and Charles explain her friends and the nurse who saved her showed her what it was.

-Well, imagine the love you have for this guys, times 1000. Imagine you cannot live, without the other person. Like just the thought of not seeing or hearing them every day is unbearable to you. Well, once you feel that toward someone, you can kiss them like I was kissing (Y/N)…Do you understand ?

She nods once more and…Charles chokes. Tears are welling up in his eyes.

-What, what is it, what did she say ?

-She…She asked if she could kiss us too then, because even though it seems disgusting, what you describe…that’s exactly how she feels…

You remember crying. You remember taking her in your arms. You remember explaining to her further more the kissing thing, and you remember her finally understanding, and giving you a hug instead, as you explained to her what that meant too. You remember Logan going to the bathroom and locking himself in it. You remember convincing him to open the door for you. You remember sleeping in the bathroom…and you remember his tears.

Laura’s “words” touched him too, and you knew that, not matter how he loved to deny it, one day or another, he would see what you saw in the kid too, he would consider her his daughter too…you just hoped that once he would, it wouldn’t be too late.

FIN. Hope you liked it. I’m not gonna insult you by saying once again that I think it’s shit, because I think everything I write is shit anyway XD. OK !

[morrpriestess]

A Story

So, here’s a very long channeling of sorts!

Sometimes, one can travel dimensions through art and imagery. Entering the dream realm in order to heal or repair. To fix some truths and to just observe. Let it be.

Really I just wanted something different :)

Here’s a little visit. A journey through my subconscious. It’s quite long. But this is pretty much what I do. To be honest. I doubt there’s anybody who’ll read this. But if you do, I hope you enjoy it as much as I have...

I was there, just laying under the sun and shadows in a petit hammock. A desert, a beach. I don’t know at this point honestly. So dry and so serene, yet in my mind it is so fresh; vibrant waters and blue waves.

Am I the only one to see it? Does anybody else see it?

Until now it’s only me. And it is perhaps after all, only because it is me, and I haven’t asked anyone yet. Who’s fault is that? No one’s. Just me and the sea…

Just the sea and me, didn’t you mean?

Well, no. Maybe. Hey, at least they rime together!

True… love you!

Me too!

And from afar I can see my mother and Di, they’re picking up algae to eat and to cook. But well, I don’t know if they see it. For all I know, those could be plants and such. I don’t think they see it. They just stare at it with a serious classical ‘resting bitch face.’ who am I to judge though, mine probably looks like that too.

So still. 

And yet behind me, I see my two cousins, I & D, fighting with swords in front of St and Ro, each quietly rooting for their respective sons. An amicable match. And suddenly think... I’m lucky I’m a girl…

Let’s go see the fight! I go and stand up, I’m bored and even so yet, I have the option to return, so I’ll gladly take it once again later, to keep seeing the beautiful, floating vast blue, neon sea. This time at night. I get excited just thinking about it!

I’m glad I’ve become more cheerful...

Anyways, back to the friendly fight, just clashing swords. Hermione’s watching and she doesn’t care, she rolls her eyes playfully and goes away. Ale is watching from afar with some really cool sunglasses, pretty much just taking care of us, not listening though. My father is far from here and suddenly approaches me. He tells me that I should fight. And so, as many times before, I chose to humor him. I’m no good at this! I blush, but even so among my shy nature, I manage to look secure, to look confident or at the very least rescuable. Laughing, and making some jokes here and there, making a silly remark about how I’ll win without a doubt.

One laughs while the other feels the need to tell me how wrong I was in a very indignated way, but even so, I feel respect from both of them… hmm, funny. I thought that they underestimated me, or just didn’t take me seriously?

Who am I to them and to the men in my family?

As I grab my sword, as I get handed one I see the crystals within it. It is green, emerald green, I blow at it, and it appears to have encrusted lilac gems. Platinum black, green, lilac. Then crystalline. I still wonder…

Do they see it?

One’s sword is bright, baby blue with some lilac, holographic-like highlights, and the other one is more modest, wooden, with sharp metal, silver edges. Stylish and holy in another level.

And doesn’t that make you feel selfish? Show-offy?

Bad?

I believe that the only selfish in me is you judging me. Am I not enough for me?

I’m just what I need, and I’ve always been. And if you don’t see that, if you don’t feel that, then probably the one who’s being selfish is you. Why not be sufficient with yourself. Instead of wanting me to be, what you’ve never been?

Let me love me.

Let me need me.

Let me love you.

And let me be needed as well as need.

I’m a child and I’m old. Both of them need more than an adult does in the physical world. And that’s okay, that’s fine. Adults need help on the other side. And that’s fine.

I feel oddly proud… vibrant baby blue, wooden with sharp edges. I then remembered that I’m the eldest of us all. Behind me, I can feel and see, both Se & So, a bit far away in a wheel swing. Just healing each other’s wounds and making each other laugh. Kids. I’m glad. Se is among the girls and I’m among the guys. Interesting. Funny! I smile. It fills me with joy and energy! Though grandpa is at the beach, just looking at the sky, trying to feel his legs until falling asleep.

And while I’m distracted and dazed, both cousins try to take me out first. The swords go right through me as if I were a ghost. Suddenly they don’t see me, perhaps taking this a little bit too seriously. I laugh whole-heartedly. With an amicable insult and cocky, playful bravado I pretend to attack. Both feeling very paranoid as I sing and dance. They both know that the true battle is about to start.

And so, as expected, one lashes out to hit me and I dodge laughing, then again screaming. I tell him: let's take I out first. And he surprisingly believes me! I push him and attempt to take his sword.

St protests at the injustice and Ro laughs at it. My dad nods negative…

And I don’t care.

I feel free. My ‘victim’ pushes me back and tries to hit me more intensely. He’s angry but he’s making an effort to have fun. Which means that he’s going to win for my own safety probably.

The other one stabs him in the back and gets stabbed right back. And funnily enough, I win!

Or, well, I guess I did win. In a rather strange way. But hey, once a winner, always a winner!

As everyone else just boos and complains, leaves to do something else, perhaps and hopefully more productive, my cousins just stare at me and hate me for a little while. While I shrug at them and commence to walk away, I won't admit it, but maybe a little bit hurt. No one back there said something nice or good about what I did or how I ‘won’, I was the only one making the jokes! How unfair!

… But then again, how sad! Can’t anyone be children and play?

Suddenly both of my cousins hug me and thank me. For what? I don’t know. I smile as they make some acknowledging, temperamental comments. And while they may sound hateful…

“You… you sneaky bitch!”

“YOU ALWAYS DO THAT GODDAMMIT, YOU!”

“Shut up Michelle, why are you laughing? What are you laughing at?”

They’re still hugging me warmly and fondly.

They’re just mad about something else.

They all are probably…

They see grandma and they stand by her in order to depart together a little bit later. She says hi to me, I say hi back. She gives me a kiss and then says she’s sorry, and that she’s trying, with that playful voice of hers and a sheepish smile. I tell her, no worries, I love her.

She then laughs and tells me that she keeps being happy because of me. Even if we don’t talk much, even if we don’t see each other much. She says that she relates to me and that I gave her faith to live with. And that’s she’s sorry for not being capable of admitting it. The same goes for my other grandma.

I say no worries.

No worries!

I understand…

Mom and Di keep searching through the algae and their vines, I approach them after my cousins' departure with K.

They said it was all okay. All while inspecting the vine’s red, tiny, bean-like fruits as I say that they should try them. Soon though, they told me they could not see them.

“Well, then taste them!”

We have other senses, after all... 

They grab the bean, without knowing they had it. I told them once again to taste it.

“Yuck! It’s too bitter!”

“Oh god, no! How horrible!”

Yeah, I understand. Just taste it, I’m sure you’ll take a liking to it eventually. It goes great with other platters! And their juice is sweet and intense. Like life. I guess it is what it is. Or maybe they just haven’t tasted enough berries and they miss their home.

I’ve been missing me as well. In real life, where’s my optimism? That grasp in reality?

Then it came, it is pretty easy actually…

It is there when I’m not there. When I’m too busy being myself to care.

Oh, I see!

Great!

Se is right! Life IS amazing!

I smile at my mom and my dear sister, who probably hates me as much as I hate her. I don’t!

She also gives me a hug, a Pisces one. Warm water and fresh movement. A union. Maybe mother doesn’t notice, but we both understand what we’re here for together within each other. A team along with other sister. A team of three. Forever together as that, sisters.

Three

Mom, you’re very lucky. As three is a holy number, a trinity is in to save. Animals, people and life. Death, limbo & life. And none of us are those. We just understand each other as those archetypes do so as well.

But I think you knew that as well, didn’t you? We all know everything and yet nothing.

Mom, I think that it is important for you to notice this.

We all notice this and at the same time not…

This is me not talking, but me just being. No words, no materials. Just manifestation, mom.

You’re lucky, mom. You’re blessed.

And thanks to that, we’re blessed as well.

Hermione suddenly appears and greets us, Diane and I, with a laugh and a hug.

Ever seen the card of the Three of Wands? Three of Cups? Three of Swords? Three of pentacles?

She then tells us that she’s been waiting for us to guide her to a nearby island. A bunny island. We say goodbye to you with a huge smile, a hug, and a kiss. As you try to decipher the mysteries of it all. Your don, your gift. Your life… ever heard about Atlantis?

Violins and guitars?

Okay, okay, I’ll let you be. Let go see something funny!

Be not scared! Be content and be curious!

Be you mom! Love you mom!

Love you a lot!

As I love my sisters & myself.

My father too, as well as my cousins who say hi to me from apart.

As I love the rain and it’s tears.

As I love the earth and how it receives me without doubt and with honor and duty.

The earth also tells you that it loves you too!

And that perhaps you haven’t noticed yet or at least lately. So she’ll wait for you as long as you have to. She’s old, and it’s not it’s first rodeo!

How funny is that?

Kind of like Mother Aughra from The Dark Crystal!

This is also for everyone, who has any doubts.

Just enjoy it!

Just enjoy it

Then I sit here once again, In Ale’s living room. Watching everybody with their own stuff and same old customs. Oh well, perhaps someday we’ll all see and make-up with each other. Because sometimes saying sorry wholeheartedly, even when we don’t know what we’re sorry for is all it takes, to be free and move on. With love for each other, and as a team.

…

Night comes, mom is better, dad is better. They’re both walking among the beach, telling each other stories from their respective worlds, as my sisters and So make an improvised party around the wood fire I and D made (both pretty irritable, but they’re just angry. Though D finally gives up and hugs So and Se. Playing with my sisters and talking to them.) Around them, My uncles and aunts reunite, laughing and joking along the sky. Grandma retiring for the night, though hilariously shouting grandpa’s name.

“You better not be sleeping at the beach again!”

“I’m here, I’m here! Let’s go to sleep then. Gosh!”

They both bid me a goodnight kiss.

“Well, I guess there’s nothing missing.”

My checklist is done, I guess. If not I suppose dad will take care of it. Though perhaps with a more harsh, mandatory, fist. But well, I guess it’s what it is, he’s just angry.

And I say that I love you. As I finally, happy, arrive at my little, petit hammock to see the night’s beautiful stars, the night’s beautiful lights, the beach.

Fresh breeze.

I breathe.

Falling asleep, interested and excited, for the new day and the new night.       

                                                                                                                                                                    - With love, for my family.

[veronicaosoria]

mercy

Genre: Angst

Length: 4.2k words

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader/Jimin

Summary: You knew the relationship was falling apart, you just couldn’t accept it.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Yoongi whispered.

I looked at him in disbelief. The tears that were threatening to fall soon enough shamelessly came and for a second I thought I felt my heart actually break. Deep down, I wanted everything to be a joke, I wanted this to be some sort of sick prank. But looking at Yoongi’s face, I knew it was far from that.

“Why did you do it?” I asked looking down. He stayed quiet, not daring to look at me, and after what felt like hours he took a deep breath.

“I honestly don’t know Y/N,” he began “I wasn’t thinking at all.” I let out a sob.. Wasn’t thinking? What does he mean he wasn’t thinking? Is he meaning to tell me that I didn’t cross his mind not once?

“I-It was more than just sex with her Y/N, as much as she seems to be bitch to everyone she isn’t bad. I don’t know what to do. I already lost so much by doing this.” He added as he turned to look at me.

My heart shattered. The only thing worse than getting cheated on is, having the person who cheated on you not wanting to fix it. We were invincible. Since I was 15 I vowed to commit to him and overcome any obstacles that life threw at us. Every fight we had was resolved by the end of the day because we never went to sleep mad at each other. But now, years later I never thought anything would change. And to be honest.. I was too naive to think this would last forever. Yoongi always had eyes for me, he always thought about me before he made a decision. Looking into the eyes of the love of your life and not seeing a spark anymore is heartbreaking. To feel like I was not worth fighting for anymore made me feel worthless.

“I love you Y/N, I still want you around.” Yoongi said breaking me out of my thoughts. “Even if we’re not together you will always be mine.” he added. My body went numb, my mind went blank. I looked at him and smiled. “I’ll never leave Yoongi.”

The next couple weeks were gloomy. Even though Yoongi never stopped talking to me, every night always ended with an argument, which resulted in him blocking me and ignoring me until he felt like talking to me again. Meanwhile I was constantly surrounded by a dark cloud that didn’t leave. I barely got out bed. And when I did, I would find any reason to go back to my hole of self pity. I didn’t eat much anymore and only got a couple hours of sleep at night. Constant thoughts attacked my mind telling me I wasn’t good enough to keep him, that he was better off without me, that I needed him. And as crazy as it sounds, I wanted him back more than anything. I wanted to have another chance to show that I can be a better girlfriend to him, better than her. I never asked about her. I didn't want to know anything about her. The one girl who managed to make him do this. And from what I heard she wasn't with Yoongi because she liked him. Anyone can tell she was just using him, but he was too blind to see that. She had him wrapped around her little finger and still slept with any guy she wanted, while Yoongi pretended that he didn't know. And that's what killed me.

It was around 10:30pm when Yoongi called. I mentally cursed at myself for answering so quickly, “Hey,” I said. “Hey babygirl, just wanted to hear your voice.” I could feel my face turn red and softly smiled at his words. “I miss you.” I said. For the next two hours we were on the phone and for once I was happy.

“Are you free tomorrow?” I ask. As much as I wanted to give him space, I wanted to see him.

I hear him heavily sigh and I already knew what was coming. “I’m sorry Y/N, I want to see you as much as you do but-” he mumbled. My heart sank and a feeling of sadness came over me. “Yeah I get it, she means more to you than I ever did.” I replied. “Please don’t start Y/N we were talking just fine.” he said.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “News flash, I haven’t been fine since you chose her over me, you only knew her for a week.”

“STOP. Y/N goddammit don’t fucking start again.” He yelled out. I could hear his breathing increase and I knew him well enough to know he was pissed.

“Why are you doing this to me huh Yoongi? Was I that fucking horrible to you that you had to do this to me?” I cried. Again tears rolled down my face and I started sobbing.

“I’m not dealing with this tonight.” He said and hung up.

Fucking asshole. That’s what he’s good at, ignoring me and running away from his problems. I dialed his number again hoping he could pick up but soon realized he blocked my number. I began to panic knowing very well I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight if he was ignoring me.

For the next hour I constantly called hoping he would unblock me but I had no luck. My sobbing increased and I began to feel suffocated in my apartment. I just wanted to run, I wanted to run until I couldn’t feel the pain anymore, I wanted to disappear. I knew I was pathetic doing this to myself. But I couldn’t help it, Min Yoongi destroyed me.

I couldn’t take being inside anymore and left my apartment to clear my head. It was almost midnight and although it wasn’t a good idea to be walking at this hour, I didn’t care. The night air made me shiver and I decided not to go very far considering it was cold. I walked to the gym right by my apartment and sat at the side of the building. I tried dialing Yoongi again, and sure enough he didn’t pick up. I put my phone back in my pocket and buried my face in my hands and cried. Why wasn’t I good enough for him anymore? Why am I still around for him begging him to come back when it’s not what he wants anymore? I was deeply in love with him to even think about moving on, and he knew that.

“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be out this late crying.” A voice said, that made your head snap up.

My eyes met the face of a stranger, a very attractive stranger.

I quickly wiped my tears away and stood up backing away from him,  “Ahh I’m sorry” I replied flustered.

He chuckled, “Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” I smiled at him. “That’s good to hear, but what could you possibly be doing out here this late?” I asked sarcastically.

He motioned toward the gym “I work here, on my break.”

I looked at him confused. “Isn’t it too late to for a gym to be opened?” I replied. 

“It’s opened 24/7, I work the night shifts.” He said. I nodded at him and sat back down.

“Now if you don’t mind me asking, why were you crying?” He asked.

I bit my lip and tried to come up with some random excuse. “Umm it’s just tha-” I started to say.

“Boyfriend troubles?” He blurted.   

I chuckled, “Something like that.”

“Mind telling me about it?” He asked.

I looked away sighing. “Honestly.. I'm not ready to talk about it just yet, but long story short he cheated on me.. and somehow I can't let him go.”

“By the looks of you crying it seems like he doesn't want the same.” He said.

“It's.. complicated.” I answered, “He chose her but he still wants me around.”

He looked at me, “I know I barely met you but you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of still being there for him. You're worth more than that.”

Tears began forming and I nodded. We both sat in silence for what felt like forever until he stood and offered his hand to help me up.

“I hate to leave you alone but I have to get back to work.” He sadly said.

“Right, sorry.” I mumbled and began to make my way home.

“Before you go, I didn't get your name” He said

“Oh right, it's Y/N.” I answered.

He smiled at me, “Y/N, the name suits you.”

I laughed, “Thanks?”

“I'm Jimin by the way”

It was around three days later when Yoongi texted you.

“I miss you Y/N, I'm sorry about everything.”

I stared at the text for the longest time and debated on replying or not. And about an hour later I gave in and replied. This was a cycle, he always apologized after ignoring me for days, knowing I would be waiting. Dammit why was I so weak when it came to him? It was like he had me under a spell and I couldn’t do anything about it.

“Can I come over right now?” another text read.

I answered a quick yes and made my way to the shower so I can look like I wasn’t miserable the past few weeks. About 30 minutes later he was at the door.

“Hey babygirl.” He said smiling.

I felt my cheeks getting hot “Hey Yoongi.” I said while leading him inside.

He took off his jacket and shoes and made himself comfortable.

I laughed to myself thinking back to memories when Yoongi would come over right after work tired and fall asleep on my bed. Or back to the first summer of us dating when he would be at my house and we would watch stupid reality TV shows, eating pizza, and enjoying each other’s company. Back when I was his everything, back when we were invincible. The older we got, the more I thought things were getting better. We were becoming more mature and we both knew what we wanted. A future together. I never expected months later for that to suddenly change.

I snapped back to reality when Yoongi cleared his throat. “Listen, I’m really sorry about-”

I stopped him, “No don’t worry about it, it was my fault.” I said quietly.

His face softened “No I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

“It’s fine..really.” I answered.

He forced a smile, “H-how have you been?” He asked.

“It doesn’t matter honestly-”

“It does matter Y/N, even if you don't believe it, I care so much.” He stated.

I started biting my nails, it was a really bad habit of mine. But whenever I get nervous I don't know what else to do.

“You're nervous.” He said.

I looked up embarrassed “I-I’m sorry.”

He cupped my face in hands and looked me in the eyes, “It's me Y/N, your Yoongi don't be nervous around me.”

He crashed his lips into mine and before I could process what was happening, I realized I was kissing him back. He deepened the kiss and before I knew it I was reaching to take his shirt off.

He stopped me. “Do you want this as bad as I do?”

I nodded and continued kissing him and led him to my bedroom.

I woke up hours later to the sound of Yoongi’s phone ringing. I groaned and nudged him to wake up to answer the phone. To my surprise however, he declined it. I shot him a confused look, “Shouldn't you answer her?”

He shook his head, “I just want to enjoy our time together right now.” I smiled and he wrapped me in his arms. As much as I hate the situation we're in, being with him is the only thing that can make me happy.

“I want to try and end things with her.”

My head snapped up at his sudden words, “Do you really?” I asked.

“I don't know what I'm doing Y/N, I want to make things right for us so bad.”

“Yoongi, you know what to do to fix this.” I said softly.

He stayed quiet for a long time. I didn't care though, just the simple words he said made me see that maybe just maybe.. it was worth waiting around for him. The sleepless nights, endless crying, everything could finally stop.

“I'm going to see her soon and I promise that I will fight for us.”

“Forever and always right?” I said.

“Forever and always.”

The next couple of days were a breeze. I managed to catch up on sleep which I've been so badly. I went out with friends after canceling so many times when I was down. Yoongi and I were talking just like before. I was happy. I knew it was going to take some time for us to get back together and I was happy to wait as long as he fought for us. Although I was waiting for the message informing me that he finally left her, I didn’t want to seem like I was pressuring him.

I was laying on my couch catching up on shows I’ve missed while eating ice cream, when I got a text from Namjoon asking to hang out. I smiled at myself and instantly replied telling him yes. My heart dropped suddenly remembering how much I have been shutting him out ever since this happened. Namjoon worked in the music industry and was extremely busy but he always made time for his best friend. We grew up together and he was always the one person I went to when I needed someone. Namjoon always acted like an older brother to me, a very overprotective brother I must add. When I first started dating Yoongi you can bet he didn’t approve, but as time passed he eventually accepted him. I instantly felt a wave of guilt realizing I hadn’t even told him about what happened between Yoongi and I. He knew me well enough to know that there’s something wrong just by the look on my face. I debated with myself on calling him and telling him that something came up, but I knew that would only make it worse- I never canceled on Namjoon, no matter how busy I was. Even though I wanted to avoid talking about it, I knew I had to tell my best friend. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my phone buzz besides me.

“Let’s go to dinner then? Usual place :)” the text read. I laughed to myself knowing that no matter how more successful he got, he still loved our tradition of going out for a greasy slice of pizza and a beer. I sent a quick reply and dashed to the shower to start getting ready. “Goodness Y/N what are you going to tell Namjoon?” I thought to myself. I knew I couldn’t keep this from him, he would only blame himself saying he wasn’t there enough. I quickly put together an outfit and applied makeup to look a bit more alive. Thirty minutes later, I was finally ready and out the door to my car. Well...it’s now or never.

I got to our favorite pizza place and ordered food for the both of us. Namjoon was always late, even if it was something really important. Ever since we were kids he had a habit of showing up late. I didn’t mind though and took our food to an empty table. I occupied myself with my phone and it wasn’t until 15 minutes later that he finally got here. “Y/N I’m so glad to see you!” Namjoon happily says. My face lights up and I immediately give him the biggest hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” I say as we both sit down, “I know I’m so sorry I’ve been so busy.” He replies with a slight frown on his face. I shot him a look, “Don’t worry, I understand just don’t forget about your best friend.”

“Never will” He says while taking a bite of his food.  I smiled and started eating, “So how's work been?” “Tiring, busy, you name it.. I don't care much since I'm doing something I love.” He happily replied.

“I'm proud of you and I'm so glad to hear that.” I say while taking a sip of my soda.

For the next hour we talked about memories when we were younger and catching up with each other. I completely forgot about what has been going on with me since I was so happy being with my best friend. That is, until the dreaded question came.

“So how are things going with Yoongi?” He curiously asked. My face instantly dropped and I frowned. “F-Fine, we are doing fine.” I quietly answered.

Namjoon raised his eyebrow at me and scanned my face long and hard, “You’re not telling me the truth.” He stated. I didn’t answer him and instead looked down and started biting my nails.

“You’re nervous Y/N what’s wrong?” At this point I felt the tears forming in my eyes and I felt like I was going to barf all the food I had just ate. I didn’t want to tell him, but at the same time I did. My heart was racing and my head felt like it was going to explode.

“Y/N what the hell happened?” He asked again. I sighed, “I just… we broke up but we’re trying to work things out.”

“Why did you guys break up?” He quickly asked.

“I don’t know.” I lied. I gulped hoping he would believe me but I knew there was no way he would. If I told him what Yoongi did, Namjoon would not let me anywhere close to him.

“Don’t lie to me Y/N.” I could tell he was losing patience.

“Namjoon-” I began.

“Tell.ME.”

“He cheated on me.” I murmured avoiding to meet his gaze.

Silence. For a while there was just silence. I refused to look up and say anything else. I was embarrassed, scared, I felt pathetic.

My head shot up when I heard Namjoon chuckle. I looked at him confused not knowing what to say, I met his eyes and boy was he pissed.

“You’re telling me that you’re willing to make things work with him again?” He rhetorically asked.

“I know you’re upset and I don’t blame you for it, but I’m willing to stay until he leaves her.” I mumbled.

His eyes widened and his face turned red, “LEAVES HER? You mean he left you for some girl? And you’re still around?” He started yelling.

Tears started falling down my face “Please don’t be upset.” I choked out.

He snorted, “Upset? Nope. I’m furious. It’s taking everything I have not to leave right now and kill that bastard.”

“Namjoon-”

“No Y/N, I am not going to let you sit there and stick around until he decides to fucking value you. You deserve to find happiness and all he is doing is causing you pain.” I didn’t say anything and instead stayed quiet. He stood up and led me out the restaurant. “Let’s get you home.”

I nodded and followed him out, the cold air hit me as soon as we got out the door and I immediately regretted not bringing a sweater with me. I looked down on my phone and I saw missed calls from Yoongi. I bit my lip in confusion considering he never calls me. I decided I’d get back to him once I got home.

We made it to my car and I looked up at my best friend. Disappointment was written all over his face and I took a deep breath.

“Can we please talk tomorrow Y/N? I need to make sure you’re okay.”

“Of course. I’m sorry for ruining our night.”

He gave me a sympathetic look, “Stop, I haven’t been around much and I’m sorry for that. I promise I’ll be there more regardless of my job. I need to protect my best friend.”

I smiled at him, “Love you Joonie, get home safe?”

“Text me once you’re home alright?” He added while opening my car door.

“I will,” I said while giving him the biggest hug.

As soon as I stepped into my apartment I dialed Yoongi before doing anything else. To my surprise he didn't answer and I frowned. I quickly sent him a text and got ready for bed. As I was just about to close my eyes, my phone rang. Groaning, I reached over and picked up without even checking who it was.

“Hello?” I groggily say.

“Y/N are you up?” The other person said and I instantly knew the voice.

“I was just about to fall asleep Yoongi, but what's up?” I replied.

He sighed, “Can we talk?”

I frowned at the sound of his voice, “uh sure.”

“I'll be at your place in 10 minutes.” And with that, he hung up.

Before I knew it there was knocking on the door and I immediately got up to open the door.

Yoongi looked tired, saddened, and just… different. He awkwardly walked in with his head down and I knew something was wrong. My stomach dropped, “What's wrong Yoongi?” I whispered and reached out to hold his hand. He flinched and pulled back without looking up at me.

He let out a deep breath, “I'm sorry Y/N.”

And that's when my world came crashing down again.

The sound of rain against my window helped distract me from my endless thoughts of pure emptiness. I continued to play with the food that I didn't even bother to eat and sat in silence.

It had been weeks that I had a decent meal, much less smiled. I debated many times calling Namjoon, but I always fought against that thinking he was too busy. He checked in a couple times over text but I was good at feeding him lies on how I was okay. Although he was my best friend, I just didn't want to burden him again.

The day Yoongi came, I knew he changed his mind about coming back to me. He still texted though, and I knew that I was hurting myself way more by still sticking around. Soon enough text messages came almost once a week and I could  tell he was distancing himself. What made things worse was that he flaunted his new relationship on social media, and that hurt more than anything. Yoongi was never one to brag about someone, unless the person meant a lot to him.

I was laying on my bed after coming home from a night with my friends and I was happy considering I haven't felt this alive for about three months. I tried my best to shut the thought of him out of my head and I did what I thought was best… move on. I constantly told myself that nothing will bring me back to how I was when I was so low and needed to be strong. I was getting ready for bed and I checked my phone one last time before I decided to sleep.

And that was a big mistake. My heart dropped as I paused on a post Yoongi had uploaded of them together. I felt my throat close and tears well up in my eyes, fuck. Why the hell does this shit affect me so much? Before I knew it I was sobbing and all the feelings I was trying to avoid came rushing back. Without thinking I threw some shoes on and ran out my front door not caring how loud I slammed it. I was halfway down the street when I realized I forgot my phone and I sighed. I quickly figured I didn't need it and continued walking. I eventually made it to the spot next to the gym I always came too and sat down breathing in the cool air. My mind began to wander and my thoughts were interrupted by a cough next to me. I shot my head up and met Jimin’s face. “Haven't seen you in awhile.” He says. “Almost thought you got back with him.” He added. I looked away not responding, it's almost pathetic how bad I wish that was what happened.

I heard him awkwardly sit next to me and from the corner of my eye I can see he was thinking on what to say next.  

“Please don't feel sorry for me” I mumble while trying to blink the tears forming in my eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Honestly? No. I don't. I want everything to be okay with us, I want things to be how they were back then. I want him to be happy with just me.” I admitted. “Do you know how stupid I feel? How pitiful I look?”

“You're not stupid for wanting that, you have every right to feel all these emotions. But Y/N please don't let him have so much control over you. He's not worth it.” He grabbed my face and made me look at him, “Please Y/N.” He pulled me in for a hug and just as I was about to answer him a deep voice beat me to it.

“What the hell is going on?”

I panicked quickly getting up and moving away from Jimin. “Yoongi?” I practically yelled.

Shit.

author’s note: ahhh i really hope you guys liked it! I am not confident in my writing yet but i’m getting there! i wrote this after my relationship fell apart, and although I’m still getting over it, writing makes me feel so much better.