#he's such a fucking simp

[elderberries-and-honey]

a cute little detailing of winifred's new desk & everything lawrence surprised her with. and then i made the joke that lawrence is just the "do it for her" simpsons meme but with winifred so i had to sloppily make that too. enjoy!

[shotmrmiller]

pornstar johnny got in the business because he likes sex. he's got a degree collecting dust in his closet that he could use but why would he when he finds himself in between a pair of legs every other day? heaven.

also he became a certified munch because he was tired of seeing pornstars (not amateurs, like legit contracted individuals) eat pussy like they hate it. if he had to wank to one more girl letting out manufactured noises, his cock would perma soften.

(bonus for him cuz he's got a pretty face. getting in and rising to the pinnacle was as easy as making the top AV model clench and quiver around his fingers. in an interview he once mentioned liking to flatten his tongue when his costar is at the precipice cuz he loves to feel them pulse. something about it almost having a heartbeat of his own. sickening man. he said it while apple cheeked and a wolfish grin.)

[beanghostprincess]

Petition to give Usopp a gun. Not because of anything plot-related, I just think he looks extremely hot.

[onlycleverinmyhead]

In a world where Ra's al ghul is a better grandfather, Damian visits his bases sometimes. And one day he posts a video of him hanging out in the pool.

Dami: hello followers, Grayson suggested to me I'd post about details from my personal life that do not partain to my pets, I am now relaxing in my grandfathers' pool as part of our 'bonding time' grandfather, say hello

*The camera moves to show Ra's lounging on a pool chair in swimtrunks*

Ra's: to who?

Damian, from off camera:my followers

Ra's: already ammassing a base of followers? I am impressed, grandson.

The internet goes NUTS

Ra's deep voice, his standoffish attitude, his salt and pepper hair, his physique

They immidiately brand him a GILF

The batkids make it their mission to not let Damian know (while still making fun of him ofc)

[jacqcrisis]

The few snippets of dialogue I've seen from from Hermes in Hades 2 really reaffirms a core part of whatever his relationship is to Charon to me: Hermes is extremely invested in making sure Charon has someone to talk to.

Please say hi to him. Please make sure he's doing okay. Please look out for him. Someone needs to be checking in on Charon and be there for Charon when Hermes can't be.

Maybe it's because he recognizes Charon is a loner and doesn't have people who worry about him. Maybe its because he knows Charon has a hard time communicating. Maybe its because Charon is a workaholic and will put the people he cares about before himself. Maybe he just really fucking likes Charon.

Probably all of these. But I had that assumption in the first game, and I'm glad its canonized (or so it seems) in second. Hermes worries about his big skull faced man's mental and social well-being so much that he's asking the children of Hades to take some time out of their big important 'find my mom/dad' quests to make sure boatmen aren't too lonely without they speedy chatty birds.

[dootznbootz]

"The text is all up to interpretation."

The Text:

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

i would just like to point out that rhys darby is giving an absolutely astounding performance on ofmd. every episode he is doing the absolute most. every expression, every tone, every line, every movement, every character beat. like he is the fucking star. he deserves absolutely fucking everything.

[agir1ukn0w]

love how what made me hate snow in the original thg trilogy was all the atrocities, but what made me hate him in tbosas was the fact that he doesn't get poetry and hates ghost stories, like what a fucking philistine

[icestorming]

Just a demon.

[mblue-art]

once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Ken sato but tries so hard to deny the monsterfucking allegations after meeting humanoid kaiju! reader......

But this is him everytime he sees them in ultraman mode:

Or just his human mode......

[just-null]

YO, SUPER LATE SUPER LONG SUPER MESSY OCTOBER POST THAT I JUST SHOVED EVERYTHING INTO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO DO MULTIPLE. FUCK IT.

I forgot halfway that these were supposed to be costumes and not mini aus... SO REMEMBER IN MY PLACE, EVERYTHING IS HYPOTHETICAL. also. some have a bit of yandere elements to them bc its SO FITTING FOR NORITOSHI.

Happy late October, everyone. it's winter now. Let's get it, baby.

[Long rambles and doodles under the cut!]

Vampire!

I kept asking myself, "How sexy is too sexy.." and "How the fuck does a sexy vampire even look like without it being a shirtless guy w fangs or Edward Cullen....." I think I figured it out

Sure, sure, vampires are superhumans with sun allergies that can drink blood really hotly. They can also easily overpower you to feast and blah blah blah, but what if said vampire (Noritoshi) was too weak to do any of that? Not literally, but he craves your say. He wants not only your blood but your affection. He wants to get praised as he drinks you in. Are you comfortable? How much will you allow him to take? Do you want to get him back in return? Guidance with this makes him feel more at ease. It's still Noritoshi at the end of the day. He's going to find a way to be a little awkward about you because of his crush. He refuses to drink from anyone other than you, even if it causes his death. Therefore, he has to keep you healthy! For the rest of your lives..! Besides, he can't really go outside or else he'd.. y'know. So if you think about it, this is a very beneficial relationship for both of you!!

The only downside is that you're losing blood on the regular, and for some reason, more people are moving away... Probably nothing, right? Noritoshi is always there to keep you company and help you recover anyways.

Witch!

my attempts also bled into the witch design.... you got greedy with requesting two in one ask, but I'll spoil you this time bc I also wanted to see Noritoshi as a (sexy) vampire and witch. heh. AND I DIDNT REALIZE HED BE SO CUTE AS A WITCH..... WHAT THE FUCK?? rip momo, fight for your title of cute witch...

Noritoshi strikes me as one of those witches who'd rather be left to their own devices because they're running some important magic whatever in the background. though, he'll take some breaks and indulge you if you insist on having him around. Insist meaning you pass by and strike conversation, leaving him to neglect anything and everything to prioritize his time with you. He doesn't want to use magic on you unless it's beneficial for either you or both. Noritoshi likes a natural progression with you that he knows for a fact is true and not some product of some spell. Though it doesn't mean he wouldn't use charms and such to get you to interact with him more often to speed up the process!

Can't sleep? He has a remedy perfect for that! Bad luck? Oh no, take a charm. Nerves? A potion he perfected will help you ease your jitters. Annoying peers? With a snap of Noritoshi's fingers, they're gone! Just don't ask what happened. Enjoy yourself instead and come to him with any new issue. He's quick to resolve it.

Definitely has some sort of doll that looks suspiciously like you.. Noritoshi would probably talk to it and practice one liners that give you the strongest sense of nostalgia once he uses them. He's simultaneously giddy that the charm he put in the doll works but also a little annoyed that his hard work isn't surprising you, but leaving you with deja vu.

Idol!

i was crying the entire time bc what does an idol look like.... noritoshi is handsome enough to be an idol without actually being an idol... now i can confirm that idols are very well dressed though. thumbs up 100% but i had some thoughts...

[Idol]

Noritoshi would be the type to cherish his fans, but hold clear favoritism over you. he'd be those idols that look cold, but they talk, and they sound smug in a charming way. i don't know much about idols, but i know he'd be so fucking good.... he'd be the type of guy to sing to you amongst the hundreds in the crowd.... ahhh the interviews w these famous aus. they're just talking and acting like themselves. can you imagine Noritoshi getting asked the question if he has a lover or not? he can lie, im sure you're alright with that, but he doesn't want to!! he does have someone!!! someone he loves more than all his fans love for him combined!!! he just can't say it for the sake of your privacy and his career. so Noritoshi does what any charming guy who's good with their words does. he deflects the question. answering the question, but not really, that'd be something he's known for. fans online are split on why Noritoshi does this. some think he's trying to keep that side of his life private, others think he's trying to mess around, and others think he's hiding a secret lover!!! though the last one is usually seen as the outlandish one, sometimes it makes Noritoshi's heart drop bc they get some things right. "Having a lover is a complicated question hidden behind a simple disguise. If I had to answer, I'd say my lovers are my audience. they make sure i'm well cared for, some more than others." AND HIS FUCKING LITTLE SMIRK I CANT COUGHS UP BLOOD. IM A THEORIST TOO. SECRET LOVER. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

ON THE FLIP SIDE....

[Not an Idol]

An amusing thought where Noritoshi goes out in his casual clothes, and he's mistaken for an idol. No one knows who he is, but he just looks like he'd be one. bro's just trying to buy groceries, and now he has a fan group asking him to take pictures with them.. He'd tell them that he's just a guy, not an idol, but the group would still want a picture with him. it'd be a waste to pass by someone who's so naturally gorgeous, so with a sigh of defeat, he relents. It's just a photo, right? No harm done. Noritoshi'd go home and feel overwhelmed/embarrassed by the whole ordeal. later, he gets a call from someone in the kyoto group or you to inform him how he's all over social media, known as that handsome guy in the supermarket. HED BE COMPLETELY UNREACHABLE TO MEDIA OUTLETS BC NORITOSHI IS THAT GUY WHO DOESNT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA.... he'd have to make one to make sure no one pretends to be him online. "Hello, I don't use social media, but I've been informed I've been getting attention online. To prevent anyone from being fooled by an impersonator, this is my official and only account. thank you." P.R. STATEMENT WRITING ASS.. his single post gets flooded with likes, comments, and DMs. it almost blows up his phone..... he was just buying bread, dude...... people try to dig up and find him through the other Kyoto group's social media.

[bonus] my second in command requested to put him in a fem idol outfit bc he thought it was funny. after frothing at the mouth and coughing out blood, I complied.

Doctor!

THIS IS SUCH A STRAIGHT FORWARD ASK BUT IT HAS SO MANY IMPLICATIONS. MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER.. THOSE EMOJIS GIVE ME A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION BUT IM NOT SURE.

Noritoshi as a doctor...... apple sales would plummet. his little clinic's business would skyrocket. sick cases would peak in his area. getting your heart checked by his stethoscope would be so fucking embarrassing bc all he'd hear is THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

LIKE IMAGINE IF THAT WAS YOUR DOCTOR? BRO.

COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH COUGH.

Noritoshi would probably own a small clinic that he wants to expand. That or he opened one after working for a hospital for a while. He's a great doctor who's most likely respected but a pain in the ass to work with. Among patients, he's gotten the hot doctor reputation. Most want to be treated by him, but he's so professional, any chance of trying to flirt goes down the drain. Yeah, he puts his hair up to avoid it in his face even though his eyes are closed classic lab safety procedures. He seems like the type to have a soothing but authoritative voice during examination, so he gets his message across. it's a bit difficult when dealing with patients for Noritoshi. If he sees them too often, he firstly scolds you for not taking care of yourself, then feels guilty for not giving you the proper care. Keep yourself safe and healthy, or else Noritoshi will clearly :( Putting him in a yandere setting would be dangerous. He'd have a lot of control over you, considering he can prescribe medication, shots, visits, and other things.... he'd have a ball.... nothing that would cause you any harm, of course. he's only looking out for you and doing what's best for you..!

Pirate!

my second in command wanted a pirate. pirates are so fucking cool and i know damn well if this guy were a pirate he'd have a bunch of battle scars under that fancy coat.

Noritoshi as a pirate would be more than a little odd, but also fitting. He looks like the type of guy who'd be well put together, yet he's willing to get his hands dirty. Like the guy who got into the pirate life because of some personal issue that couldn't be solved fast enough through conventional means. Even as a pirate, i imagine he holds everyone to high standards. They're still pirates though.. so his expected standards aren't even that high. He has more freedom here, so even he himself lets loose once or twice. Especially with you. He's even able to get away with more violent actions for you, the seas are unpredictable, after all. While taking some treasure, Noritoshi'd toss you a gem or golden coin, just so you can say you were the first to claim it. Just so he can see that happy glint in your eyes when getting your hands on treasure. God forbid anyone try to get their hands on your hard earned goods. They'd be met with a bullet to the foot or a sword at their neck. Everyone and their mother knows how you're his favorite, but Noritoshi downplays it. Its not a crime to help out someone from his crew is it? Not in the seven seas. He leans more into his cold ruthless killer side here. He has goals and people to help keep in line whether hes captain or not. Yet when around you, he's almost adorable in how he shows you a pearl so entrancing that it reminded him of you.

Corpse Bride!

my submission to my Noritoshi Halloween costume closet.. CORPSE BRIDE, THIS MOVIE FUCKS. esp w the yandere elements.

Noritoshi 100% made you recite the wedding vows to him before accepting the ring. If you fumbled up, he'd correct you with SO much attitude and expect you to start from the top until you got it perfectly.

Hypothetically, in the chalice scene towards the end..

Noritoshi is the type to never be fully relaxed unless he knows for sure you'll be eternally his. In this scenario, YOU proposed to HIM but have to die to continue being together. Not only that, but someone in the living world is also after your heart. Someone who bleeds. Someone who's the obvious choice. Someone who can give you the life that you deserve. Someone who will succeed in their pursuits if you. remain. alive. Noritoshi's life was cut short, yet he still managed to lose so much and be abandoned a considerable amount of times. When he meets you and finds out about the possibility of having to go through that again even in death, it finally clicks in his rotting mind. He realizes he's been doing something wrong to keep constantly failing. Noritoshi revises his methods to a more.. selfish course. Why should he care about anyone else's wants or how his actions hurt them? You were the only one who made him truly fulfilled, to make him feel alive. The only one who deserves anything and everything good that comes from this world. Destiny is never done toying with him when he realizes your marriage is invalid because of your pulse and his lack thereof no matter how hard he'd try, but the opportunity arises. of course, he's ecstatic to give you an afterlife worth much more than what a silly beating heart can achieve. "All people die eventually. If you miss your living family or friends, all it takes is patience, darling. I'll wait by your side in the meantime." He weighs the pros and cons of everything, but when it comes to swaying manipulating your thoughts he only highlights the ones that'll get you on his side. in this case, the pros of dying to be with him! Honestly, the answer was so obvious that Noritoshi didn't know why he was stressing about it before. It hurts him to see you in any type of pain, but he reassures both himself and you that it'll only be for a moment. Afterward, he'll have the rest of your afterlives to make it up to you!! What happened to Till Death Do Us Part? Noritoshi thinks it's insulting that something as shallow as that could be so widely accepted. If your love were true, it wouldn't stop just because the world decided to take them away. "Till death do us part? Darling, don't be silly. 'Not even death will do us part' feels much better, doesn't it?" 

[faglegsanji]

thinking about how zoro probably does bulking when they have a longer journey on the ship and how he would get more squishy and soft around the edges and

[rabbitsonthemoon]

I don't think I've ever appreciated the trope of an incredibly dominant and powerful character who scares the shit everyone except they're an absolute subby mess for one specific person who Doesn't Get Why Everyone Else Thinks They're Scary™ until I watched That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime and met this absolute disgrace of a demon (affectionate).

Pat him on the head, Rimuru! Look at him! He wants head pats and to be told he's a good boy!

[eridiasangel]

decided to be normal and take the official touchstarved uquiz over 200 times so I could figure out what answers are associated with what characters, here are the results. please download for higher quality and feel free to share it around and speculate as much as you want lol.

original ver + a quick colorblind friendly ver

my process was basically to blindly run through every answer over and over with a few sets of control answers, changing only 1 variable at a time. once i had enough filled out, because there are 11 questions, i could easily make a set of 10 control answers assigning 2 answers to each character, 2 for mhin, 2 for kuras, etc. the quiz result this way would Always be whatever character was associated with the 11th answer. i used this process to fill any remaining blanks and double check anything i was unsure about.

as for mothman, no matter what combination of the evenly split control answers i tried it always spat back out a different result, so either he is assigned to everyone or no one. this was probably just a mistake lol

[tekitothemagpie]

"Zoro being captivated by Luffy and his sunshine smile/laugh."

Yeah regular shit, he always is, still cute asf tho.

"Luffy being captivated by Zoro and his sunshine smile/laugh"