#hea refuses to comment on it

[darthpastry]

LQ wearing a shirt that says “I would let my wife stab me”. Smitten is fronting. Thorn isn’t sure whether to laugh or be mortified.

[insipid-drivel]

Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap

I'm going to go ahead and preface this with: I comment pretty regularly on clips and photos featuring horses and horseback riding, often answering questions or providing explanations for how or why certain things are done. I was a stable hand and barrel racer growing up, and during my 11 year tenure on tumblr, Professional Horse Commentary is a very niche, yet very necessary, subject that needs filling. Here are some of the literary and creative gaps I've noticed in well meaning (and very good!) creators trying to portray horses and riding realistically that... well, most of you don't seem to even be aware of, because you wouldn't know unless you worked with horses directly!

Some Of The Most Common Horse + Riding Mistakes I See:

-Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before.

Nope. No, no, no, no, aaaaaaaand, no. Horseback riding has, historically, been treated as a life skill taught from surprisingly young ages. It wasn't unusual in the pre-vehicular eras to start teaching children as young as 4 to begin to ride, because horses don't come with airbags, and every horse is different. For most adults, it can take months or years of regular lessons to learn to ride well in the saddle, and that's just riding; not working or practicing a sport.

Furthermore, horses often reject riders they don't know. Unless a horse has been trained like a teaching horse, which is taught to tolerate riders of all skill and experience levels, it will take extreme issue with having some random person try to climb on their back. Royalty, nobility, and the knighted classes are commonly associated with the "having a favorite special horse" trope, because it's true! Just like you can have a particularly special bond with a pet or service animal that verges on parental, the same can apply with horses. Happy horses love their owners/riders, and will straight-up do their best to murder anyone that tries to ride them without permission.

-Horses are stupid/have no personality.

There isn't a more dangerous assumption to make than assuming a horse is stupid. Every horse has a unique personality, with traits that can be consistent between breeds (again, like cat and dog breeds often have distinct behavior traits associated with them), but those traits manifest differently from animal to animal.

My mother had an Arabian horse, Zipper, that hated being kicked as a signal to gallop. One day, her mom and stepdad had a particularly unpleasant visitor; an older gentleman that insisted on riding Zipper, but refused to listen to my mother's warnings never to kick him. "Kicking" constitutes hitting the horse's side(s) with your heels, whether you have spurs on or not. Most horses only need a gentle squeeze to know what you want them to do.

Anyway, Zipper made eye-contact with my mom, asking for permission. He understood what she meant when she nodded at him. He proceeded to give this asshole of a rider road rash on the side of the paddock fence and sent him to the emergency room. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't have the permission from the rider he respected, and was intelligent enough to ask, "mind if I teach this guy a lesson?" with his eyes, and understand, "Go for it, buddy," from my mom in return.

-Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight.

Riding a horse bareback (with no saddle, stirrups, or traditional harness around the horse's head) is unbelievably difficult to learn, particularly have testicles and value keeping them. Even professional riders and equestrians find ourselves relying on tack (the stuff you put on a horse to ride it) to stay stable on our horses, even if we've been riding that particular horse for years and have a very positive, trusting relationship.

Horses sweat like people do. The more they run, the more their hair saturates with sweat and makes staying seated on them slippery. Hell, an overworked horse can sweat so heavily that the saddle slips off its back. It's also essential to brush and bathe a horse before it's ridden in order to keep it healthier, so their hair is often quite slick from either being very clean or very damp. In order to ride like that, you have to develop the ability to synchronize your entire body's rhythm's with the rhythm of the horse's body beneath you, and quite literally move as one. Without stirrups, most people can't do it, and some people can never master bareback riding no matter how many years they spend trying to learn.

-You can be distracted and make casual conversation while a horse is standing untethered in the middle of a barn or field.

At every barn I've ever worked at, it's been standard practice with every single horse, regardless of age or temperament, to secure their heads while they're being tacked up or tacked down. The secures for doing this are simple ropes with clips that are designed to attach to the horse's halter (the headwear for a horse that isn't being ridden; they have no bit that goes in the horse's mouth, and no reins for a rider to hold) on metal O rings on either side of the horse's head. This is not distressing to the horse, because we give them plenty of slack to turn their heads and look around comfortably.

The problem with trying to tack up an unrestrained horse while chatting with fellow stable hands or riders is that horses know when you're distracted! And they often try to get away with stuff when they know you're not looking! In a barn, a horse often knows where the food is stored, and will often try to tiptoe off to sneak into the feed room.

Horses that get into the feed room are often at a high risk of dying. While extremely intelligent, they don't have the ability to throw up, and they don't have the ability to tell that their stomach is full and should stop eating. Allowing a horse into a feed/grain room WILL allow it to eat itself to death.

Other common woes stable hands and riders deal with when trying to handle a horse with an unrestrained head is getting bitten! Horses express affection between members of their own herd, and those they consider friends and family, through nibbling and surprisingly rough biting. It's not called "horseplay" for nothing, because during my years working with horses out in the pasture, it wasn't uncommon at all for me to find individuals with bloody bite marks on their withers (that high part on the middle of the back of their shoulders most people instinctively reach for when they try to get up), and on their backsides. I've been love-bitten by horses before, and while flattering, they hurt like hell on fleshy human skin.

So, for the safety of the horse, and everybody else, always make a show of somehow controlling the animal's head when hands-on and on the ground with them.

-Big Horse = War Horse

Startlingly, the opposite is usually the case! Draft and carriage horses, like Percherons and Friesians, were never meant to be used in warfare. Draft horses are usually bred to be extremely even-tempered, hard to spook, and trustworthy around small children and animals. Historically, they're the tractors of the farm if you could afford to upgrade from oxen, and were never built to be fast or agile in a battlefield situation.

More importantly, just because a horse is imposing and huge doesn't make it a good candidate for carrying heavy weights. A real thing that I had to be part of enforcing when I worked at a teaching ranch was a weight limit. Yeah, it felt shitty to tell people they couldn't ride because we didn't have any horses strong enough to carry them due to their weight, but it's a matter of the animal's safety. A big/tall/chonky horse is more likely to be built to pull heavy loads, but not carry them flat on their spines. Horses' muscular power is predominantly in their ability to run and pull things, and too heavy a rider can literally break a horse's spine and force us to euthanize it.

Some of the best war horses out there are from the "hot blood" family. Hot blooded horses are often from dry, hot, arid climates, are very small and slight (such as Arabian horses), and are notoriously fickle and flighty. They're also a lot more likely to paw/bite/kick when spooked, and have even sometimes been historically trained to fight alongside their rider if their rider is dismounted in combat; kicking and rearing to keep other soldiers at a distance.

-Any horse can be ridden if it likes you enough.

Just like it can take a lifetime to learn to ride easily, it can take a lifetime of training for a horse to comfortably take to being ridden or taking part in a job, like pulling a carriage. Much like service animals, horses are typically trained from extremely young ages to be reared into the job that's given to them, and an adult horse with no experience carrying a rider is going to be just as scared as a rider who's never actually ridden a horse.

Just as well, the process of tacking up a horse isn't always the most comfortable experience for the horse. To keep the saddle centered on the horse's back when moving at rough or fast paces, it's essential to tighten the belly strap (cinch) of the saddle as tightly as possible around the horse's belly. For the horse, it's like wearing a tight corset, chafes, and even leaves indents in their skin afterward that they love having rinsed with water and scratched. Some horses will learn to inflate their bellies while you're tightening the cinch so you can't get it as tight as it needs to be, and then exhale when they think you're done tightening it.

When you're working with a horse wearing a bridle, especially one with a bit, it can be a shocking sensory experience to a horse that's never used a bit before. While they lack a set of teeth naturally, so the bit doesn't actually hurt them, imagine having a metal rod shoved in your mouth horizontally! Unless you understand why it's important for the person you care about not dying, you'd be pretty pissed about having to keep it in there!

-Horseback riding isn't exercise.

If you're not using every muscle in your body to ride with, you're not doing it right.

Riding requires every ounce of muscle control you have in your entire body - although this doesn't mean it wasn't realistic for people with fat bodies to stay their weight while also being avid riders; it doesn't mean the muscles aren't there. To stay on the horse, you need to learn how it feels when it moves at different gaits (walk, trot, canter, gallop), how to instruct it to switch leads (dominant legs; essential for precise turning and ease of communication between you and the horse), and not falling off. While good riders look like they're barely moving at all, that's only because they're good riders. They know how to move so seamlessly with the horse, feeling their movements like their own, that they can compensate with their legs and waists to not bounce out of the saddle altogether or slide off to one side. I guarantee if you ride a horse longer than 30 minutes for the first time, your legs alone will barely work and feel like rubber.

-Horses aren't affectionate.

Horses are extraordinarily affectionate toward the right people. As prey animals, they're usually wary of people they don't know, or have only recently met. They also - again, like service animals - have a "work mode" and a "casual mode" depending upon what they're doing at the time. Horses will give kisses like puppies, wiggle their upper lips on your hair/arms to groom you, lean into neck-hugs, and even cuddle in their pasture or stall if it's time to nap and you join them by leaning against their sides. If they see you coming up from afar and are excited to see you, they'll whinny and squeal while galloping to meet you at the gate. They'll deliberately swat you with their tails to tease you, and will often follow you around the pasture if they're allowed to regardless of what you're up to.

-Riding crops are cruel.

Only cruel people use riding crops to hurt their horses. Spurs? I personally object to, because any horse that knows you well doesn't need something sharp jabbing them in the side for emphasis when you're trying to tell them where you want them to go. Crops? Are genuinely harmless tools used for signalling a horse.

I mean, think about it. Why would crops be inherently cruel instruments if you need to trust a horse not to be afraid of you and throw you off when you're riding it?

Crops are best used just to lightly tap on the left or right flank of the horse, and aren't universally used with all forms of riding. You'll mainly see crops used with English riding, and they're just tools for communicating with the horse without needing to speak.

-There's only one way to ride a horse.

Not. At. All. At most teaching ranches, you'll get two options: Western, or English, because they tend to be the most popular for shows and also the most common to find equipment for. English riding uses a thinner, smaller saddle, narrower stirrups, and much thinner bridles. I, personally, didn't like English style riding because I never felt very stable in such a thin saddle with such small stirrups, and didn't start learning until my mid teens. English style riding tends to focus more on your posture and deportment in the saddle, and your ability to show off your stability and apparent immovability on the horse. It was generally just a bit too stiff and formal for me.

Western style riding utilizes heavier bridles, bigger saddles (with the iconic horn on the front), and broader stirrups. Like its name may suggest, Western riding is more about figuring out how to be steady in the saddle while going fast and being mobile with your upper body. Western style riding is generally the style preferred for working-type shows, such as horseback archery, gunning, barrel racing, and even rodeo riding.

-Wealthy horse owners have no relationship with their horses.

This is loosely untrue, but I've seen cases where it is. Basically, horses need to feel like they're working for someone that matters to them in order to behave well with a rider and not get impatient or bored. While it's common for people to board horses at off-property ranches (boarding ranches) for cost and space purposes, it's been historically the truth that having help is usually necessary with horses at some point. What matters is who spends the most time with the animal treating it like a living being, rather than a mode of transport or a tool. There's no harm in stable hands handling the daily upkeep; hay bales and water buckets are heavy, and we're there to profit off the labor you don't want or have the time to do. You get up early to go to work; we get up early to look after your horses. Good owners/boarders visit often and spend as much of their spare time as they can with spending quality work and playtime with their horses. Otherwise, the horses look to the stable hands for emotional support and care.

So, maybe you're writing a knight that doesn't really care much for looking after his horse, but his squire is really dedicated to keeping up with it? There's a better chance of the horse having a more affectionate relationship with the squire thanks to the time the squire spends on looking after it, while the horse is more likely to tolerate the knight that owns it as being a source of discipline if it misbehaves. That doesn't mean the knight is its favorite person. When it comes to horses, their love must be earned, and you can only earn it by spending time with them hands-on.

-Horses can graze anywhere without concern.

This is a mistake that results in a lot of premature deaths! A big part of the cost of owning a horse - even before you buy one - is having the property that will be its pasture assessed for poisonous plants, and having those plants removed from being within the animal's reach. This is an essential part of farm upkeep every year, because horses really can't tell what's toxic and what isn't. One of the reasons it's essential to secure a horse when you aren't riding it is to ensure it only has a very limited range to graze on, and it's your responsibility as the owner/rider to know how to identify dangerous plants and keep your horses away from them.

There's probably more. AMA in my askbox if you have any questions, but that's all for now. Happy writing.

[viennakarma]

Something you paid for

Fernando Alonso x Reader

Summary: Two years into the best relationship of your life, you find out that Fernando thinks you don't love him. But it get worse and you realize the whole world think of you as gold digger.

Word count: 5.7k

Tags: female!reader, established relationship, slut shaming, reader is confused, fernando is even more confused, miscommunication, cursing, a bit angsty, hurt/comfort, soft smut (almost not there), happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader

Note: I'm honestly not 100% sure about this story, a had another ending planned but I wanted it to be HEA. I don't know. :(

I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx

Find me on Twitter!

It was supposed to be just a pause in your studies. Something quick since your brain was already mushy from studying and writing your research for too long.

So when you picked up your phone, to aimlessly scroll through social media, you didn’t expect to see a new, sudden rush of comments on your instagram page. There were thousands of comments in your last post, calling you a gold digger, and much, much worse. Ever since you started dating Fernando, you had been getting these comments, and in the beginning they were worse but slowed down with time. Now they were on a new high again. Confused more than anything, you went on to try and find out what happened for this to happen all of a sudden. You and Fernando hadn’t gone out together for more than two weeks and you hadn’t been to a race week for a month.

After digging you eventually found out what happened. Deuxmoi posted something that made everyone quickly think it was you.

A lady who’s 12 years younger than her famous Spanish Formula One driver boyfriend, is known for being with him for his money. Many tried to warn him, but it seems like he doesn’t believe or doesn’t care.

Confused, you stared at the post, scrolling through hundreds of nasty, poisonous comments. That wasn’t true. Fernando did give you lots of presents and spoiled you a lot but he did this out of his own want, not because you asked for or demanded it. He was constantly giving you things, especially clothes, shoes and bags, and loved seeing you wearing them. He also gave you an Aston Martin car on your last birthday. He even went as far as getting you a credit card attached to his, for whenever you needed to buy books or go on a shopping spree. You never minded it because you knew he liked it, instead of refusing you were just grateful for his generosity.

You wondered if you should talk about it with him, but deep down you knew Fernando was never one to care for gossip of any kind. And this probably wasn’t even true to begin with, just someone trying to stir the pot. So you just limited the comments in your posts and went on about your day.

A week later you went to the race, it was Silverstone, and the last before summer break. You decided to dress your best, wearing clothes that were pretty and elegant and had been given to you by Fernando.

He always treated you like a princess, he was kind and patient, and always found a way to align your schedules to spend time together. He liked taking you on trips during summer break and to ski trips during winter break. Fernando adored having you around in race weeks, you could see in his face that he was radiant with your presence. And you loved all the gifts and the trips but you especially loved staying home with him, lazing around, making love on the sofa and taking walks hand in hand in his hometown. You loved helping him cook, trying your best to follow his orders and not mess up his recipes. 

You walked into the paddock hand in hand, and you kept him company whenever you could. He would keep you around the most, only letting you go when he had meetings or media duties. During that time, you would go back to his room and do a little more of your research, writing your thesis.

You left his room so you could grab a snack and a coffee at the hospitality, but as you passed by a hallway, you heard someone saying your name in conversation. You stopped, leaning against the wall to hear, with a glance, you saw two mechanics talking.

“Seems like everyone tried to warn him, man. But it’s like he doesn’t mind dating a gold digger.”

“Is she a gold digger, really?”

“Man, she doesn’t do anything! She doesn't even work.”

“Has anyone warned Fernando?”

“Everyone.”

You went back inside his driver’s room, sitting down, completely shocked. So that’s what people thought of you? You knew people on the internet talked about it, but they were strangers so you wouldn’t allow yourself to mind because those people didn’t know you. But the people in the garage? They’ve known you for almost two years now, you were always kind and polite to them, even going as far as bringing them cookies and donuts as thank you for welcoming you so well.

You avoided crying, it would ruin your makeup, and Fernando would notice it very quickly. So you just sat there, numb. Thinking about how everyone believed you were with Fernando because of his money and nothing else.

When Fernando found you again, before he had to go get ready for the race, he noticed you were a little down.

“You should not study so hard on the weekends, princesa.” He muttered, hugging you from behind and leaving a gentle kiss to your neck. Of course, he would think you were just tired.

“You are absolutely right, mi amor,” you smiled a little, turning around so you could hug him properly, “do you have time for a little kiss?”

“Even two,” he joked.

You ended up sitting on his lap, making out like two teenagers, until someone knocked on the door, calling Fernando to go get ready.

“Hey, good luck, yeah?” You said, kissing him one more time then kissing the back of his hand, “I love you.”

You watched the race from the garage, feeling self conscious now that it seemed like everyone thought you were leeching off of Fernando.

In the end, Fernando got P3 which was a great result and you celebrated wildly, proudly watching him get on the podium.

After his post race meetings, you met him in his room.

“Let’s go out to celebrate! Dinner is on me!” You hugged him, mood better now than before.

You and him ended up going out for dinner, at a high end restaurant, dressed to the nines. It was fun, you listened to Fernando talking about the race, then he asked you what you thought about the race.

Before dessert, you went into the bathroom to retouch your makeup and freshen up. When you came back, your tiramisu was already there. You and Fernando shared the dessert, laughing to each other.

When the waitress came, you picked the opportunity.

“Dear, can we get the tab please?”

“It’s already taken care of, Madam.”

Your smile faltered, and you looked at Fernando as she left. He was smiling like he couldn’t hold it in.

“Fernando! I said dinner was on me!”

“Why would I let you pay, princesa?”

“Because you got a podium today! As a celebration!” You whined, upset. Fernando pulled your chair, until you were right beside him and he kissed your cheek.

“I like paying for you, Hermosa,” Fernando stood up, offering you a hand, “come on, you can treat me right in our hotel room, what about that?”

You smiled as he pulled you away, but something still nagged at your brain.

You and Fernando took the private plane back to Madrid after the date, because he had sponsor meetings over the week, and you honestly wanted to sleep in your bed. The trip was quick, and while Fernando took a nap, you tried studying, but your mind kept going back to being called a gold digger.

Deep down, you really wanted to talk to Fernando about it, but you were unsure if he could fix this in any way. What could he do? Make a post on instagram saying hey, my girlfriend isn’t leeching off of me as most you think!? You did live with Fernando, for six months now, and he paid all the bills and the house was his. But he also gave you many many gifts.

When you got home, putting your bags inside the closet, you two just changed into sleepwear, ready to doze off.

Then Fernando opened his bag and grabbed a small box.

“Oh, I had forgotten! Got you a present last week in Austria!”

He handed you the box, and with your heart beating fast, you opened it to a beautiful vintage watch. It was gold, delicate with a beautiful bracelet. There was a lump in your throat as you stared at the piece.

“You didn’t like it? It’s ok, princesa, I’ll get you another one,” he said, with a gentle smile.

“I don’t need another watch, Nando. You gave me this one not even a month ago,” you raised your wrist, showing him the brand new one he gave you.

“I want to give it to you. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged.

“And I don’t want it,” god, you didn’t want to sound so ungrateful, but how could you tell him that his presents felt like something else now? “You have to stop giving me so many presents,” you said, trying to put into words what you were feeling.

“But that’s how I won you over, why would you refuse my presents now?”

Something about the nonchalance in his voice made you stop, stomach dropping. That’s how I won you over? That’s how he believed your relationship came to be? That’s why he thought you were together?

“What did you say?” You paused, suddenly turning to him, it felt like a punch to the throat, “You- you believe I’m a gold digger? You believe it?”

Fernando walked up to you, putting both hands on your waist, a soft smile gracing his face.

“Amor, you know I don’t mind spending my money on you. Quite the opposite, I love to spoil you.”

You stood there, speechless for a couple of seconds. Then you snapped out of it, pushing his hands off you.

“That’s not what I asked!” Your voice sounded louder, you tried to regain your composure, “people talk a lot, the press too, but you know the truth, right?!”

“I’m a rich man, I like providing you with the luxurious lifestyle you lead. I don’t care that you enjoy my money.”

His words made it so much worse. It made you nauseous, the idea that all this time, he’s been thinking of you as a gold digger, as someone who’s only with him for his money and for what he could provide for you.

“No, Fernando- no!” Your voice wavered, “that’s not true! I love you, you know that right?”

“Why are you so caught up in some silly rumor?

“You know right? You know I love you.” You pressed further waiting for an answer. Hoping against hope that he knew it deep down, that he could acknowledge that you harbored love for him.

“Amor, we have such a great dynamic like this. I don’t need your love, just your loyalty and for you to be my pretty girl.”

He was so calm and reassuring, like he had made peace with the fact that you didn’t love him. Like he wasn’t bothered at all by the fact that you were supposedly a gold digger. His dismissal broke something inside you.

“So you don’t- you don’t believe I love you?”

You felt pathetic and helpless, repeating the same words again and again, hoping and praying for a different answer from Fernando.

“Come on, I’m really tired, can we go to sleep?

“Fernando.”

“I’m going to wait for you in bed,” was all he said, dismissing you completely.

You walked out of the room at the same time he went into the bathroom, you held your head up until you softly closed the door behind you, then finally the tears spilled. You went to the bathroom downstairs, the farthest you could go away from him as the sobs broke from your throat violently.

Sliding down on the floor you wondered if everything was lie. You knew it wasn’t but the fact that he thought you were only there for the money was completely wrong. How long had he been thinking that? How many times had he heard you say “I love you” and thought it wasn’t true? You didn’t even know what to do or what to feel. How could you feel if this whole time while you were pouring your heart into this relationship he thought you were just leeching off of him? How can you love someone so deeply and still live with the fact they think of you as a freeloader? Did he joke with his friends like yeah, she’s a gold digger but at least she’s loyal and fucks me well? 

Your chest hurt and you felt repulsive, making your way to the living room, opening a bottle of his whiskey, not bothering with a glass, just sipping it straight from the bottle.

What could you do now? Talk to him? Tell him you’re not with him for his money? After two whole years accepting his every gift with open arms? After getting a fortune worth of presents? After letting him pay for your books, textbooks, new laptop? After letting him pay for dates, trips, clothes, accessories, shoes and jewelry?

You hated yourself for it now. For taking it just because you thought it was his love language, not because deep down he was trying to keep you, buying your affection.

After spending the whole night awake, nursing a bottle and with only your repulsive thoughts as company, you watched as the sun rose from the big living room window.

It was time to fix it.

Fernando was an early riser almost every morning, so after the sun fully rose in the sky, you went in the kitchen and prepared coffee, to cut the effect of the alcohol. You weren’t drunk, really.

“Morning, bebé! You woke up earlier than me today?” He said, passing you with a kiss to your cheek, then going to the cabinet for a mug. He was so unbothered by your argument last night it was pissing you off.

“I didn’t sleep.”

He paused, looking at your face.

“We should talk.” You readied yourself. Fernando stopped in front of you, attentive. “I’ve been hearing a lot this past week that I’m a gold digger, this has been making me feel some kind of way, and I wanted to address this with you. Last night you were tired and we probably misunderstood each other…”

“Where are you going with this, corazón?” He asked, confused.

“I’m not with you for your money, Fernando. Do you understand that?”

He stood silent, which only made you feel worse.

“I want you to stop giving me presents without a proper occasion. And I want you to stop paying stuff for me. And we’re going to share house bills.” You laid it all out, after thinking hard all throughout the night.

“What are you talking about? No, I don’t accept it.” He frowned, “that wasn’t the deal when we moved in together.”

“Because I didn’t know everything back then. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of you, and I don’t live at your cost like this.”

“No, Y/N.” He took a step back, shaking his head as if you had said the most stupid thing he had ever heard.

“I’m serious, Fernando.”

“No, I’m not negotiating this. I pay for everything. That’s how it’s been and that’s how it will be.”

“I just want to show you that I’m not with you for the money! I’m not what they’re calling me! No more presents, Fernando.”

“You took them.”

“Because I thought you wanted me to have them!”

“I wanted you to have them so you would want to stay with me!”

You gasped, hearing it from his mouth finally. The tears finally started flowing, and you swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady even with the tempest happening inside your chest, staining the beautiful story of your relationship. Well, what you thought was a beautiful relationship.

“You’re just like them, right?” You said, defeated, “you think of me as a gold digging whore. You probably never defended me when they called me that.”

“I gave you all this stuff because I didn’t want you to leave!”

“It was never about the fucking money! And guess what? You lost me anyway!” You marched to the bedroom, Fernando hot on your heels.

“Don’t. Don’t leave.” He said, following you. “I did everything for you to never leave!”

“Everything but loving me! I don’t fucking care!” You unlatched your necklace, putting it on the table, “I don’t care about your money and the jewelry and the clothes and the bags!” You put down your watch and earrings too. Everything he had given you not because he wanted you or loved you, but because he thought they were the price to pay to keep you around.

“Fuck, I love you!” You shouted, feeling desperate and lost, “And all you see me as is something you paid for. A toy you can parade around and look pretty in your arm! You don’t even love me, Fernando. I could write a list about everything I love about you, and none of it would be your stupid money!”

In the closet, you picked a bag, and started putting your clothes inside. Then you noticed how most of them were gifts from him. So you put it back, taking only what you had bought yourself. Fernando stood there, helpless as you packed, putting clothes and a few shoes in a couple of baggage. You also took your study material and laptop, which he had gifted you, but you knew you’d refund him.

“Stop, no,” Fernando tried to stop you as went into the garage, “I do, I love you.”

“You don’t, Fernando. You’re not even sure of that.” You shook your head, putting the bags inside the car. The Aston Martin he had given you, “you have to think. If you really love me as you say, then why do you love me? Because I’m eye candy you can take to galas? Because I’m a good fuck? Because I stand there and look pretty when you have to kiss those old men’s asses?”

You didn’t give him a second, getting in the car and starting the engine.

“This is so messed up, oh my god, how could I let myself believe this for two entire years?” You whispered to yourself, accelerating the car and driving off. 

Through the rear view, you could see Fernando standing there, doing nothing.

You drove and wiped the tears away, breathing in. When you moved in with Fernando, you hadn’t been able to get out of the lease of your flat because you still had a few months on your renting contract. Now it felt like luck that you had a place to stay. Despite getting your doctorate degree, you didn’t have any friends in the city, only a few acquaintances here and there.

You got to the apartament, not bothering to unpack your bags, only leaving it on the bedroom floor. You took your study material and with your phone in hand, you sent Fernando via transfer a total 4000 euros, for what you hoped covered the “laptop and books expenses” as you wrote in the little note.

Then you laid on the bed, crying yourself to sleep.

You woke up and it was getting dark, the sun setting outside. Checking your phone, there were fourteen missed calls from Fernando, and a notification, showing that he had returned the money to you, with additional 30000 euros and only “no” written on the little note. Huffing, you sent the whole amount back and blocked him, so he couldn’t transfer any more money to you.

He still had not realized what was wrong, he was still thinking money was your motivation.

The next few days felt like a haze, you were barely getting any sleep, only eating and writing your research, which ultimately reminded you of Fernando, since it was a study on aerodynamics. You couldn’t lie to yourself, thinking of how many times you stared at the door, waiting and hoping he would understand and come after you.

-

Fernando had work commitments in England, and going back to Madrid, he ended up giving George and his girlfriend a lift. Fernando was visibly not himself as soon as George saw him.

“How’s Y/N doing?” George asked, casually. But from the way Fernando’s face dropped, he could tell something was wrong, “trouble with the missus?” He joked, tried to lighten the mood.

“She- uh, she left.” Fernando muttered.

“What do you mean, she left?” Carmen joined the conversation, “She’s traveling?”

“No- no- I guess we broke up.”

“You guess?!” George’s voice went a little high pitched out of nervousness.

“Fernando, what happened?” Carmen tried to understand. 

Despite not being exactly best friends, you and her were pretty close, always spending time together whenever both of you were on race weekends. The fact that you’re both engaged academics was also a common topic between you.

“You know about the rumors, right?” Fernando started, hesitating.

“What rumors?” George paused.

“That she’s only with me for the money,” Fernando muttered.

“All girlfriends of drivers are accused of that at some point, what’s new?” George pushed.

“I might have implied that I agree with that.”

“Oh, my god,” Carmen covered her mouth, absolutely shocked, “What?”

“Fernando, respectfully- Are you fucking insane?!” George exclaimed, jaw slack, “she looks at you all lovey-dovey, like- like- you’re the only person in the entire earth and you think she’s with you for the money?”

“She would never be like that! She’s so smart and kind,” Carmen added.

“I know- I just- I don’t know! Maybe I let the rumors get to my head!” he ran both hands over his face, exasperated, “And she always lets me pay, and she always takes the presents, I don’t know!”

Then, Fernando explained about how you tried to pay for dinner, and you refused his gift, he told them about the argument and how you wanted to set boundaries about money and gifts.

“She was trying to prove to you that she’s not a freeloader. She was trying to show that the money didn’t matter, and what did you do? You pushed more money on her!” George practically spat the words in Fernando’s face.

“Eres muy estúpido, Fernando. Te lo digo como tu amiga.” Carmen muttered.

“I don’t know what she said but I heard the word stupid, and I agree.” George backed her up, “Go talk to her, apologize and fix it.”

“That is,” Carmen interrupted, face serious, “If you really love her. Otherwise, better let her go find someone who can really love her, it’s what she deserves. Love and happiness.”

Fernando swallowed, his chest constricting with the mere thought of you moving on, of someone else having you in their arms.

Getting back home without you there felt like a thick fog day, cold and empty and he missed you, he missed his sun. He missed you jumping into his arms as soon as he opened the door. He missed the smell of the candles you always lit while studying. He even missed the little mess of textbooks, colorful highlighters and notes scattered around.

Home didn’t feel like home without you.

In the middle of the living room, there were big cardboard boxes, as he opened, he noticed they were full of clothes, shoes and bags he had gifted you throughout your relationship. In a smaller box, all the jewelry he had given you, even anniversary gifts. Even the beauty products he had given you like perfumes, makeup products, and face creams.

You had returned every single thing.

And on the coffee table, your keys to the house and the keys of your Aston Martin DB12.

It seemed like you had returned everything that could tie you to him, everything that made him wrongly call you a gold digger. And it felt painfully like a goodbye.

-

While mixing your homemade coffee, your eyes flicked to the door, then to your phone on the table, facing up. Despite the searing pain in your chest, and the sorrowful hole in your heart, maybe it was time to start to move on. It had been more than a week, if he wanted to come back to you, he would’ve come by now.

You got ready to meet with your advisor, and she brought up a topic that had been common now, about you taking a position as a professor for a couple of Engineering subjects. She said it’d be good for you to work in your area while on the last few months before getting your doctorate degree. You had mostly denied the other times she offered the position, because you wanted more time with Fernando, because you wanted the freedom to fly around the world following him to his races.

Now- now you had more bills to pay and no boyfriend to follow. You also had more free time, a broken heart and a vacant mind. 

“I’m considering the position. I believe it could do me good right now.” You said to her, thoughtful, “can I confirm with you tomorrow?”

After going through the meeting and getting a review on your thesis, you went back to your flat, taking a long shower. You had just dressed in pajamas when the doorbell rang. With long strides, you were faced with Carmen, and not Fernando as you expected.

“From your face I take it he hasn’t spoken to you, yes?” Carmen muttered, seeing the visible disappointment in your face.

“I’m sorry, please come in,” you opened the door wider, forcing a smile. Carmen had a couple of bags that she set on a nearby table.

“He told us what happened, I’m so sorry,” Carmen hugged you and you immediately started crying, since you had no one to talk about the past few days, “I brought chocolates and wine, so we can talk.”

Over chocolates and a bottle of Merlot, you told her everything, starting at the deuxmoi rumor. She looked horrified when you said word for word what had transpired the last time you spoke with him.

“I just don’t understand why he didn’t come talk to you yet,” Carmen added, at some point.

“Because he won’t, at all.” You say with your voice shaky from crying so much the past hour.

“Don’t say that. He loves you.” Carmen said.

“I’m not entirely sure about that,” you shrugged, pretending it didn’t hurt as much as it did, “He’ll find another one, someone who can enjoy his money since it seems like it’s all that matters to him.”

Carmen didn’t say anything to that and you knew she couldn’t argue with the facts. Later, George dropped by to get her, going up to your flat so he could hug you quickly and mutter “I’m sorry”.

With a heavy heart, you slowly rebuild a healthy routine again, doing grocery shopping, cooking meals, going to the gym, studying and everything.

One day, you went back home after going on a shopping spree, and as you got into the hall, Fernando was there, standing in your hall, waiting by the door. You stopped, almost losing the timing to leave the elevator. When you walked closer, he noticed you. Meeting his eyes was different this time, uncertain and a little distant.

“What do you want?” You asked, you hoped your voice would come out harsh, but it only sounded defeated.

“Can we talk?” He asked, and you nodded, opening the door and letting him in.

There was a moment of awkward silence as you put the shopping bags down. After doing that, you crossed your arms and stood against a side table, waiting quietly.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, for not fully believing your love, I guess I was so focused in protecting myself, that I ended up hurting you, and it was never my intention,” Fernando stood just two steps away from you, his eyes holding such pain and fear, that it made you crumble, he didn’t look like he’d been sleeping well, “I love you, I really do. For who you are and nothing else.”

You wanted to give in so bad, you wanted to run into his arms and never let go, but you also didn’t want to suffer again.

“How do you know? You never knew that for two years, how would you know it now?” You shook your head, tears starting to fill your eyes again.

“Because it is hard being without you,” he said, like he was trying to find the right words, “I can’t sleep without you. My life is miserable without you around.”

You only nodded, covering your lips with a hand. You wanted to tell him that you had not gotten proper sleep without him, that your life feels empty, that not knowing about him everyday was painful. But you needed more. You needed something you could hold onto, and maybe, just maybe take another chance at the two of you.

“I- I made a list. Like you said,” his voice failed, and you noticed his hand was shaking a little as he held the paper, “I love you. I love coming home to you every time and feel our house so lived in. I love how you always hug me first thing after I’m back home. I love the silly texts you send me randomly throughout the day talking about your day. I love the selfies with your tongue out too,” that made you two chuckle, and the movement made your tears fall, so you wiped them, staring at him intently, “I love that you’re always the smartest person in any room we’re in. I love that you’re humble, never showing off or being a smartass. I love how cheeky and witty you are. I love that you talk in your sleep. I love that scar in your knee, because it shows you were always a little naughty, even as a kid. I love that there’s always fresh flowers at home. I love that you love kids. I love that you get along well with my family. I love that you-”

He didn’t finish, as you closed the distance and launched yourself at him, hugging him tight. Fernando held you close, pressing you into him, inhaling your perfume, feeling like he was at home again.

“I’m so sorry, princesa. So so sorry. I missed you so much,” he whispered against your cheek, kissing it softly.

“I missed you too, Nando” you said, eyes closed and allowing yourself to just feel him again, “I love you so much.”

You let go, holding his face with both hands, looking into his eyes before kissing him softly. He, on the other hand, held the back of your neck firmly, licking your mouth open, until he had tasted your mouth, leaving you breathless.

“Come back home with me, princesa.”

At that, you took a step back.

“I- I can’t, Nando. I got a new job at the university.”

“What?”

“I thought you weren’t coming back to me,” you muttered, and your words made him wince, “I needed something to hold on to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he ran a hand over his face, looking embarrassed for taking so long to come after you.

“I believe we should- we should take a step back, rethink a bit about our dynamic,” you told him, hesitant of his reaction.

“Are you unsure about us?” He asked, visibly worried.

“No, no- I love you- I do-” You started, taking his hand, holding it firmly against yours, “I just think we should rewind a bit. Have my own place and pay my own bills, I just don’t want to feel like that again, I need to regain my dignity in this.”

He kept quiet, because he knew deep down you were right. He felt awful about all the misunderstandings, but he knew you probably felt much, much worse. He should just get on his knees and be thankful you still loved him and still wanted him. He’d take all your conditions to get back with him.

And deep down both of you knew it was for the best. Moving out and living alone, working and seeing him occasionally as a boyfriend. 

Holding your face, he kissed you, leaving little pecks on your lips, your cheeks, your chin, your forehead. You closed your eyes, letting him kiss you, and he muttered how much loved you and how much he missed you, kissing down the side of your neck. He walked you inside and let him, feeling his hands quickly peeling your clothes off, leaving a trail of clothes from the living room to your bedroom.

You parted so you could undress him, pulling at his jacket and the t-shirt.

“I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbled into a kiss, laying you down in bed.

You laid on the bed and he hugged him, making space for him between your legs. He held you, touching your nose with his gently.

“I missed you, princesa,” he kissed your cheek, “I promise I’ll do better from now on.”

“I know you will, baby.” You kissed him again, running your hand down his back, “make love to me now.”

He filled you up at once, and you groaned into his mouth, scratching your nails down his back as you cunt welcomed him. As he fucked into you, slowly at first then picking up pace, he muttered how much he loved you and how sorry he was, over and over.

As you cuddled after, quietly enjoying each other’s company. 

“What do we do about all your gifts?”

“Give them away,” you shrugged.

“Can I convince you to take it back?”

“Not if you still want me in your life,” you muttered. He nodded, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“You know how I know I love you?” Fernando asked, drawing invisible patterns on your back, “there’s an engagement ring in the third drawer of my bedside table.”

You hesitated for a second, but he knew you well. Better than anyone else.

“I know what you said, I just wanted to let you know. I bought it a week after you moved in with me. I know we’re rewinding a little bit for now, but you’ll be my wife one day.”

“And what if I refuse when you propose?” You smirked, and he pulled your leg over his waist.

“You won’t.”

Note: UGH IDK GUYS :(

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

no words *ೃ༄

Summary: max defends his girlfriend and gets into trouble

𖤓 mv x reader ⋆｡°✩

𖤓 fluff + slight humour (iykyk) ⋆｡°✩

masterlist ☾☼

y/n had been a fan of formula one since she was a child. every parental figure in her life had been a fan of the sport, so it was natural and she got into it too. thankfully, it also made her realise very quickly in life that she wanted to work in the field of motorsports. she wasn't sure yet, and she was still working her way to getting into the sport, but it was a sure, clear path for her.

after meeting max, and falling in love with him, everything had changed. her family approved of the two of them, obviously, and so had his, though she hadn't cared much about jos' opinion. y/n made it clear in the beginning that she wanted to work in motorsports and she wanted to earn her place. she refused to let max talk her up or anything, because he was the kind of guy who would do just that for his girlfriend. max agreed, and promised to keep their relationship private for as long as she wanted.

it had taken her a few years. she bounced from indycar to motorgp to nascar and eventually made her way to f1 as a journalist. she had gained far more experience than she would've gotten if she had only focused on formula one, and she was confident in her abilities to finally be formula one.

max and her had stayed strong throughout, even if they kept their relationship private. she had met and become friends with daniel, lando, carlos, and all of max's friends. they often played padel together as well. mix the competitive spirits that max and she possessed, it was always fun.

after a year of being in formula one as a journalist, max and y/n had decided that it was time to stop hiding. they skipped the soft launch part, and jumped directly into the hard launch phase that left a lot of fans shook.

unfortunately, it also got her a lot of hate. y/n went from being one of the best journalists in f1 to one of the most hated ones for the same reasons that she was loved. the fans adored her because she was a woman of colour making a name for herself in such a sport, and that her parents had sacrificed a lot for her and she was making them proud. now, she was hated because her success became max's story and how he put in good words for her and how she was only with him for the money.

it broke her heart, but max was someone who had received a lot of hate before in his life, so he taught her all the ways to ignore the comments and focus on what she did best. it helped a great deal, but it also made her determined to prove that her career had nothing to do with max.

it was getting better, slowly and over time. max and y/n promised to never lose their temper on the comments. a lot of interviewers and fans had also asked the other drivers on the grid to comment on their relationship, asking if it was ethical for a journalist and a driver to date. but the other drivers always responded with the same thing, always saying how they've known max and y/n for a long time, and their relationship was no one else's business.

unfortunately, after a particularly hard race, max finally lost his cool.

"well, max, it's safe to say that this particular race of yours wasn't the best that you've performed. what do you have to say about that?"

"uh, nothing, really. we just didn't have the pace, and with some mistakes on my side, i lost a lot of points. but, i'm sure we can cover it up next race." max replied.

"you don't have to worry about us writing a bad article about you. your girlfriend and we will only be writing praises, don't you worry. the only difference would be that we won't take your hard earned money like she does," the interviewer laughed, nudging y/n.

the cameras were all focused on them, there were fans nearby, and other drivers. everyone was watching. it was live tv. the entire world was watching. the thick crowd of an audience had their gaze fixed on y/n, and all she could do in that moment was hang her head and try not to cry.

that's the moment max lost his cool. y/n was standing right there, and the interviewer had disrespected her on a very public platform.

"actually, my girlfriend will always tell me what i need to hear, whether it's good or bad. y/n y/l/n, a well known journalist, who is also standing right there with you, will write exactly what happened on track, because that's the part that she reports on. she made her own career, so fuck you for dismissing all of it." max bursted, before he stormed off.

the interviewer was spluttering, not sure how to react, but completely outraged as he forced the fia to take actions on max's outburst. y/n slipped away silently, needing to go back to max.

later on, the fia decided to punish max for using "language during the fia sunday press conference". their decision: obligation to accomplish some work of public interest.

later, an interviewer asked him if he regretted his decision of defending his girlfriend and getting a punishment, max responded, “no.”

“so, what do you think of the punishment given to you? do you think it’s fair?”

“no words.”

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

i hope you guys enjoyed this! i had a lot of fun writing this, mostly because i had no idea what my brain wanted me to write, but somehow i kept on typing. anyways, this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

[wonhes]

WARNINGS: ….. angst 😺👍 + cursing

☁︎ — JUNE 24TH, 2024 10:58 PM

blinking to try and comprehend what they heard, they all blankly look at each other as anton’s words continue ringing in their heads. trying their best to put into words what they were all thinking, they continue staring at each other in complete disbelief. shotaro is the first to break the silence by loudly scoffing at his younger friend.

shaking his head at him, he takes a step forward towards anton. bringing the back of his hand up, he smacks anton’s chest causing anton to let out a small “ow.”

“and what the actual fuck posessed you to say that?” shotaro asks, disapproval written all over his tone.

“it was a joke!” anton quickly yells back as he rubs his chest.

“look around,” eunseok states as he moves to point at the rest of the boys. “is anybody laughing?”

“i panicked, i’m sorry!” anton sighs, bringing a hand up to nervously chew on one of his fingernails. “i was just trying to lighten the mood,” he mumbles to himself.

“you said sohee was going to get a restraining order against her!” wonbin quickly yells back. “in what world is that funny?”

“okay, i did not say it like that!” anton immediately argues back, shaking his head at wonbin’s words. he doesn’t understand why everyone is making such a big fuss. anton swears he has jokingly told sohee that before and it didn’t result in him crying. he genuinely does not understand why him making that joke towards you led to you crying and locking yourself up in your room.

“if anyone should get a restraining order is yn but on this guy over here,” eunseok sighs shaking his head as he uses his index finger to point towards seunghan’s direction.

rolling his eyes at eunseok’s comment, seunghan brings a hand up to flip eunseok off; this instantly causing eunseok to flip seunghan back with both of his hands.

“she literally texts him everyday! i was just trying to be funny,” anton continued on defending himself, ignoring the two boys bickering.

“god,” shotaro sighs once more. “anton, do you not know how to read a room?”

“your sister is in love with sohee,” shotaro states. with wide eyes, anton quickly looks at your friends for confirmation. when getting the confirmation he needed, he awkwardly shifts in his spot.

“she texts him every day probably hoping he’s going to magically unblock her one of these days– she wants to work things out with him but he refuses to hear her out,” shotaro sighs, shaking his head at sohee’s way of handling the situation. “you told her he was out of town so that most likely caused her to believe you’re still in contact with him–” shotaro continues explaining. “you made a tasteless joke about sohee getting a restraining order against her so she most definitely believes that came out of his mouth.” shotaro finally concludes.

“do you now understand why your sister is crying or do i have to dumb it down some more?” shotaro speaks up once more causing eunseok to let out a small snicker at his choice of words.

“wait—” eunseok’s eyes immediately go wide. “yn,” he says, turning to his friends as they all instantly gasp and make their way up the stairs to go to your room and comfort you.

from up the stairs, eunseok turns back for a brief second and points down at seunghan. “and don’t you dare step foot upstairs,” he states before turning back to continue walking up the stairs.

rolling his eyes at eunseok’s comment, seunghan lightly pats both shotaro and anton’s chest to signal them to follow the rest up the stairs.

JUNE 24TH, 2024 11:13 PM

“baby, open the door,” wonbin sighs as he continues to knock at your door. turning back to look at sungchan and eunseok, he shakes his head at them.

“pretty girl?” sungchan tries now, jiggling your doorknob.

“sugar plum, please!” eunseok desperately yells out, wanting nothing more than to be there for you.

“baby? sugar plum? pretty girl? what the fuck?” seunghan mumbles to himself, confused on the sudden pet names you were receiving.

shaking his head at seunghan, wonbin couldn’t help but roll his eyes at him. “platonically, asshole.”

“you’re just mad yn didn’t like it when you called her pretty girl,” eunseok quickly shot back, turning to smirk at the shorter boy.

gasping at his words, shotaro and anton bring a hand up to smack their friend. “you called her ‘pretty girl’?” shotaro asks in full on disbelief.

“you fucking called my sister ‘pretty girl’?” anton angrily asks.

“ow–” seunghan states as he begins rubbing his head and arm. “sungchan just called her that and nobody fucking cared!”

“she’s my best friend!” sungchan quickly reasons back. “besides, it’s platonically. yours on the other hand was not.”

“eunseok, what else has he done.” anton asks as he continues to angrily eye his friend.

“oh, i’ll gladly tell you–” eunseok begins as he turns to look at seunghan’s panic figure shaking his head at him, pleading him to stop.

“yn,” shotaro randomly speaks up. at the sound of his voice, everyone shifts their attention towards him and watch as he brings a hand up to knock at your door.

“what the fuck are you doing?” anton whispers out towards his older friend.

“trust me,” shotaro quickly answers back before softly knocking once more. “i know you don’t know me like that but it’s shotaro,” shotaro quietly says.

“i’m really close to sohee,” he adds as he continues speaking to you against your door. “you-” at the sound of the door unlocking and swinging open he closes his mouth.

“i didn’t kiss seunghan,” you quickly state, looking up at shotaro with tears spilling from your eyes.

softly smiling down at you, he nods his head at your words. “i know,” he reassures you.

“please tell him that,” you desperately plea with him.

as you watch him shake his head at you, you feel your bottom lip start to quiver. looking up at him once more you try to plea once again.

“i’m not going to tell him because you are,” shotaro says, sending you a warm smile as he takes out his phone to text sohee.

“i’m going to text sohee and tell him i’m coming over so he’ll know to expect someone over,” shotaro tells you as he finishes typing on his phone. “but instead of it being me, it’ll be you.”

shaking your head at his words, you couldn’t help but let tears spill. desperately running to whichever one of your friends was closest to you for emotional support.

“oof,” wonbin softly says, taken back at the sudden contact. quickly snapping out of it, he brings his hands to your frame to hug you back.

“he’s going to get a restraining order,” you sob, hiding your head on his chest.

hearing your words, eunseok annoyingly turns to anton as he brings a hand to slap the back of his head. “you fucking see what you did?”

“baby, he’s not going to get a restraining order,” wonbin lightly laughs to try and reassure you. “do you know how silly that sounds?”

“sohee told anton,” you mumble, hugging wonbin tighter to try and calm yourself down.

angrily turning to look at your younger brother, it’s sungchan’s turn to slap the back of anton’s head. “you fucking see?”

“ow— it was a fucking joke!” anton whispers back.

“he’s not going to get a restraining order, i promise,” shotaro states, side eyeing anton in complete annoyance. “sohee never said that, i swear.”

“i can even show you our texts–” shotaro continues trying as he takes his phone out of his pocket. “he wouldn’t do that.”

“he wants to talk things out, trust me. he’s just hard headed.” the older boy tells you.

“very hard headed,” seunghan mumbles to himself, agreeing with shotaro.

discreetly nodding his head at their words, eunseok slowly makes his way to where you and wonbin were standing.

“move. my turn!” eunseok pushes wonbin off of you and quickly takes over, hugging you gently as he places a quick kiss on the top of your head.

“what the actual fuck is your problem, eunseok!?” wonbin groans, shaking his head at his friend as he dusts himself off.

“what? i’m just trying to be here for my best friend,” eunseok reasons, causing you to let out a small chuckle at their banter.

“okay! now, it’s my turn,” sungchan says, making his way towards you.

smiling at the sight of you no longer crying, anton begins walking towards you as well. “i’m sorry you have a stupid little brother,” he sighs as he sends you a sad smile.

“i got nervous and made a dumb joke,” anton admits to you as he nervously scratches the back of his neck. “i’m also so fucking sorry for the way i spoke to you the other day, you didn’t deserve that all.”

“i don’t know what i was thinking. i was just so angry and instead of taking it out on seunghan– like i should’ve– i took it out on you,” anton sadly states, completely ignoring seunghan reaction at his sudden words. “i-” anton continues once more but stops at the feeling of your arms wrapped around his torso.

“it’s okay toni,” you softly smile up at him.

“not trying to interrupt anything,” shotaro speaks up, taking a step forward as he looks down at his phone “sohee texted back.”

at the sound of sohee’s name, you instantly turn to look back at shotaro. sending you a small smile your way, he nods at you. “go.”

“go get your sohee.”

☁︎ — JUNE 25TH, 2024 12:26 AM

with a shaky breath, you close your eyes to try and calm yourself down before bringing a hand up to ring his doorbell. at the sound of his doorbell ringing you feel your heart hammer against your chest even faster— if that was even possible. now or never, you keep quietly mumbling to yourself as an attempt to calm down.

“taro-” sohee tiredly says as he opens his door. at the sight of you in front of him, sohee does a complete double take and stares at you with wide eyes.

“h-hi,’ you quietly mumble, nervously playing with your hands.

staring back at you, sohee couldn’t help but take notice on how red your eyes were. have you been crying? sohee sadly asks himself. he feels himself wanting to reach out for you to reassure you everything was okay. but instead, he quickly shakes his head at his thoughts, forcing yourself to snap out of it. you’re with seunghan, he reminds himself.

“go home yn,” sohee sighs as he tightly grips on the door handle.

“baby, can we please talk?” you desperately ask, taking a step closer to him.

“don’t-” he closes his eyes to try and calm himself down. “don’t call me that.”

“pretty boy-”

“is this funny to you?” sohee groans out as he steps outside while looking at you with tears in his eyes. “stop teasing me and go home.”

“i’m not-” you try but get interrupted by sohee’s scoff. “sohee, please.”

“yn, what do you want to talk about?” sohee asks, shaking his head at you. “if you wanted seunghan, you could’ve told me, you know?” he sadly states. “i would’ve backed off.”

“i don’t-”

“i heard you and anton talking that day,’ sohee cuts you off, not wanting to hear any of your lies. “god, i’m so fucking stupid.”

“baby, you’re not,” you quickly move towards him to comfort him causing him to take a step back, away from you. sadly looking down at the space between y’all, you try and swallow your tears despite your heart breaking by the second.

“please, go home.” sohee tries again, gesturing you to walk away

“i’m not going anywhere until you listen to me,” you firmly state, shaking your head at him. “bab-”

“don’t call me that!” sohee brokenly stops you. “you lost the privilege to call me that the second you decided you wanted my best friend,” he angrily brings a hand to wipe away his tears.

“i don’t-” you try talking once again but are once again stopped by sohee talking over you.

“i’ve been so fucking in love with and i thought-” sohee gulps. “i thought you were starting to feel the same way too. i thought it was finally mutual.”

“sohee,” you sadly say as you take a step forward to grab his hand. not having it in him to move once again, sohee lets you grab him. letting out a small sniffle, he brings his attention back towards you. at the sight of his tear stained cheeks you feel your heart break all over again.

“d-do you like seunghan?” sohee hesitantly asks as more tears begin to cloud his vision.

“baby, no,” you gently say, as you bring a hand to cup his cheek and wipe away his tears. “i like you.”

“then why did you kiss him?” he sniffles.

“i didn’t kiss him,” you begin, causing sohee to shake his head at your words and take a step back away from your touch.

“baby,” you desperately try to reach out for him. placing both of your hands on his cheeks, you try and get him to look at you. “look at me, please.”

listening to you, sohee hesitantly removes his focus from the ground and makes eye contact with you.

“the thought of you and seunghan together hurts me so fucking much,” sohee admittedly whispers out. shaking your head at his words, you bring a hand down and place it against his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “it hurts— it hurts so much,” he repeatedly mumbles.

“i didn’t kiss seunghan.” you reassure him.

“but, anton said-”

“i didn’t kiss seunghan but anton did walk in on seunghan trying to kiss me,” you hesitantly told him. processing your words, sohee finds himself letting go of your hand and creating distance between you two.

“baby, wait. please listen to me,” you say, catching his hand before it fully slipped away.

“were you gonna kiss him back?” sohee asks, looking down at you with watery eyes.

“no.” you immediately reassure him. “i only ever want to kiss you.”

“have you ever had feelings for seunghan?” sohee sadly asks, still trying to piece together the whole situation. “please don’t lie to me.”

☁︎ — JUNE 25TH, 2024 1:48 AM

sitting down on his bed, you nervously chew on your bottom lip as you wait for sohee to speak up. you were finally able to explain everything and he’s been quietly processing the situation ever since.

“why didn’t you tell me he was pursuing you?” sohee breaks the silence, looking at you with hurt written all over his eyes.

“i didn’t want to hurt you,” you try reasoning with him. “i thought i was protecting you—”

“bab- yn” sohee sighs. “that’s not protecting me, that’s leaving me in the dark.”

“my best friend was going after my girlfriend, don’t you think i would want to know that?” sohee bitterly laughs. “i would’ve loved to know that my girlfriend once had feelings for him too.”

“baby, it was just a tiny crush.” you quickly jump to your defense. “i was in denial—”

“you still should’ve told me,” sohee lets out one last sigh as he brings his hands up to rub his eyes.

“i should’ve,” you nod your head at him and shift your focus down to your hands.

“it’s getting late you should go-”

“that’s it?” you sadly ask, looking at him with wide eyes.

“are we still-”

“we can be friends,” sohee cuts you off, offering you a small smile. “i don’t think we should date.”

“ever?” you quietly ask. “never again?”

“c-can i fix this?” you hesitantly ask. scooting closer to him, you take his hand in yours. “i can fix this, i promise.”

“yn,” sohee mumbles, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“this was all just a big misunderstanding,” you desperately plea with him.

“pretty girl, you still kept secrets from me,” sohee softly states. “i’m not mad at you,” he reassures you. “we can still talk but as friends— at least just for now.”

“friends,” you defeatedly state, scared that if you continue pushing he might completely pull away from you again.

not being able to help himself, sohee leans forward and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. there’s no denying that he still holds— and will always hold— strong feelings for you but truth be told, he’s terrified to try again. so, he’ll settle for a friendship instead, at least just for now. “friends.”

☁︎ — CLOUD 9

CHAPTER 44 — friends

summary !! after years of constant pining after his best friend’s sister, yn finally takes notice of sohee and sohee swears he’s on cloud 9. or in other words, loser sohee finally gets the girl.

<- PREVIOUS | NEXT ->

CLOUD 9 MASTERLIST

˚౨ৎ˚ taglist — @acidwon @astro-doll-the-star @addorations @aeoliannie @bbina @cake1box @callanton @calumsfringe @d3junlys @emohoon @ffixtionista @gyehyeonist @haeeeeefer @hakkkuu @hisrkive @https-yeonjun @ikaerina @idkhoomanmaybe @jeeluv @jiaisfox @angelseokjinie @kaelysian @keilovr @lakoya @lcvehee @lecheugo @llearlert @lostinneocity @miyawwn @molensworld @nishimuraii @nujeskz @odxrilove @onlyhyunjin @parkwonbinie @renjuneoo @riizewrld @rksbae @rosesfortaro @saranghoeforanton @secretiny @shoberi @snowyseungs @sseastar-main @st4rryhae @sunflowerbebe07 @spookybias @talk022 @totheseok @whatsk-poppinhomies @whoisgwyn @wonbin-truther @ywnzn

[notapradagurl7]

Rather Love Than Lost.

Black Fem!Queen! Reader x Kelvin Harrison Jr.King!

Summary: In a world where duty and tradition weigh heavily, You found yourself being chosen to a suitor in an arranged marriage, soon to betrothed to your childhood friend, Kelvin in order to save your family from ruin.

Word Count: 2,525k

Taglist: @megamindsecretlair @henneseyhoe @writingsbytee @life-in-the-slut-house @euphorichappiness10 @miguelspvssy @blackmoonchilee @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @planetblaque @keyera-jackson @sageispunk @slippinninque @soft-persephone @avoidthings @dxddykenn @pocketsizedpanther @kaylaahisthebestest- @thevelvetwhispers @ovohanna24 @liatreads @sweettea-and-honeybutter @babybratzmaraj @mymindisneverhere @nayaesworld

Warnings: +18, dirty talk, praise, PWP, mention of wealth and power dynamics, profanity, consensual for both parties, mention of emotional distress, defiance against social expectations, PIV, fingering, oral(fem receiving), fighting, angst, arranged marriage, mention of grooming, mention of verbal abuse.

A/N: Happy New Year! I decided to kick off the year with Kelvin! Enjoy! Don't forget to leave a like, comment & reblog to support, feel free to ask for a request! ❤️

—————

You sat by your ornate, stained glass window with your pen scribbling across the journal in your hand, your purple dress billowing softly around you, the light of the sun shining on your brown skin, your heart felt heavy, expectation and duty gripped you by the throat.

The golden light of the sun steamed through, casting hues on the polished white marble floors.

You promised yourself never to journal again ever since your father chose to read it without your consent, it frustrated you. Before he could read anything else you toss it in the fireplace.

“At last, the day for me to rid of this place has come, finally,” you whispered to yourself, smiling at your writing.

Hearing the sound of heels clicking on the floor toward made your heart race. Your brown hair styled in box braids, tied up in a bun, your crown decorated with an amethyst at the center.

You did it after every time you chose to write, how could he chose to invade your privacy? He explained that you never chose to tell him but that didn’t give him to do that.

A knock on the door made you stand up from your chair quickly before throwing your written piece of paper into the fireplace, the flickering of fire made you set free, “Come in!” You called out, moving the chair back to the table.

“Y/N, are you squandering in your chamber? Why do you linger there my dear?” Your mother asked in a curious tone.

You sighed and rolled your eyes, “No, mom. I’m already dressed and ready to get this shit over with,” you replied, standing up.

The door creaked open, your mother stepped inside and her face twisted up. “Watch your mouth young lady, come on, we must get ready for your courtship with Kelvin, we are meeting his family today then the wedding will happen,” she said with pride.

“I never asked for this future, Mother,” You protested, your tone filled with frustration.

She placed her hands on your shoulders, her face softening at you. You felt the tug at your heartstrings from the memories of your childhood with Kelvin, running through the gardens.

“The same dreadful way happened to me when I was your age, your father wasn’t the best husband, the miscommunication, leaving me with you and your siblings, fucking those jezebels, Thankfully he died and I earned every single of his fortune,” Your mother confessed.

Your father was neglectful to you, hadn’t shown much affection or nitpicking at everything, you, your siblings, your mother. He was a bully, he had no discipline and refused to change, he drank liquor and smoked cigarettes all day.

The day that he died you felt a strange mix of relief and sorrow. Relief that the torment was over, but sorrow for the man who had failed to be a father, a husband, or a friend.

"Y/N, You must understand, this marriage to Kelvin is more than just a union of hearts. It's a bond that will secure our family's future." your mother's voice broke through your thoughts, pulling you back to the present.

They were soon to be married just like you, All of you were groomed at a young age to be the dutiful wife, the husband who provides, perfection is what they wanted.

You were the oldest of your siblings, you had to be the first one to be able to save your family, why did have to be you?

The thought of marrying someone you didn’t know made your skin crawl.

Your lips sealed at her voice, your brown eyes locked with hers. “Let’s go, sweet pea,”

You walked out of your room beside your mother, her curls bounced gracefully with every step and her hand on your back. She quickly moved it away, you put on a fake smile once you stepped out.

Walking through the hallway and out of the house, trotting the stairs and your mother called the servants to get the purple carriage with brown horses, it arrived quickly.

Enzo opened the door for both of you, you grabbed his hand and walked up the steps, seating yourself on the plush seating. Your mother sat across from you while the door closed.

“Take us to the Harrison’s castle please, make it quickly.” Your mother announced to them, closing the velvet curtains.

The carriage ride began with the horse neighing, and showing the path lined with blooming flowers, you looked outside of uncertainty. Still, your mother urged on.

“We can reclaim our family’s status. You will be the queen of a powerful kingdom, but love will grow, you and Kelvin have history,” Your mother trailed off.

You only nodded and hummed in response, repeating “Yes, Mother, I understand,”

The carriage came to a halt, and you stepped down. The grand entrance loomed ahead, flanked by guards in polished armor, their eyes trained on you as if you were already a queen.

"Remember to stand tall, my dear. You are a royal now," your mother whispered, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Inside, the air was thick with anticipation.

Candelabras flickered, casting warm shadows on the walls adorned with portraits of past black kings and black queens with their children.

There, in the center of the grand hall, stood Kelvin-handsome and regal, dressed in a finely tailored suit that accentuated his lean frame.

Your mother and Kelvin spoke of you and him, making the promise of fortune, well known status of greatness, and unfortunately, grandchildren.

"Y/N! I missed the hell out of you," he exclaimed, a wide smile breaking across his face as he rusher toward you. "You look stunning."

“Thank you Kelvin,“ you replied, your voice steadying as you approached him.

You stood beside him with a smile, “It’s been a while, yes! I've missed you too darling,”

He grabbed your hand and kissed it tenderly, “I missed you more beautiful,”

It was evident that you and Kelvin had genuine feelings for each other, you remembered him as the boy who made you laugh, you felt cherished and cared for,

After the conversion with both of your families, his mom clapped her hands and said “Let the wedding begin! Oh I can't wait for it!” she exclaimed.

You walked down the purple velvet carpet with flowers in your hands, your white gown draped over your feet while Kelvin winked at you, smiling at his bride-to-be.

Finally making it there, standing across from Kelvin, you looked up at him. “I'm glad it's you,”

“I'm glad it's you, only you,” he reassured softly.

Vows were spoken in short and sweet ways, “Kelvin, I promise to love and care for you,”

“Y/N, I swear to provide you, protect you and be there for you, I've dreamed of this day ever since,”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride”

As the priest said the words, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Your families erupted in applause, cheered both of you on, walking down the alise beside him. Flowers petals were thrown in the air like confetti.

Walking out of the church, trotting down the stairs while the carriage pulled up at the right time, wanting not to talk to your family.

“Are you alright Y/N?” he asked in concern, his eyes on you.

The carriage door swung open, and you both climbed in, the plush interior wrapping around you. As the carriage began to roll away, the cheers of your families faded into the distance.

Both of you sat across from each other, leaning against the seats. Looking outside to your freedom, they were heading toward the castle.

You shook your head, feeling the tension release. “No, I'm not, just...a lot to process, you know? I never imagined I’d be here, at this moment. I'm just a ticket for my mother to get more status and wealth Kel,”

You sighed, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. "What if I can't? What if it's all just a façade?"

Kelvin reached out, his hand enveloping yours. "Then we'll break down those walls together. We'll find our way through this maze of expectations. I promise I won't let you go through this alone."

A small smile tugged at your lips, but it quickly faded. "You say that now, but what if you change? What if you become just like them?"

He shook his head vehemently. "I won’t. I refuse to become that man. You mean too much to me. I want to protect you, not control you. Just give me a chance to prove it."

You searched his eyes, looking for any sign of deceit, but all you found was sincerity. "You really mean that, don’t you?"

"With every fiber of my being," he replied, squeezing your hand tighter.

The carriage ride finally came to an end, The castle loomed ahead. Both of you stepped out, hand in hand. Once inside the grand castle, the air was thick with opulence.

Chandeliers glimmered above, and the walls were adorned with gold accents. You felt like a fish out of water, but Kelvin's presence grounded you.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked, his voice low.

"Ready as I'll ever be," you replied, taking a deep breath.

You walked through the halls with him, entering the bedroom and closed the door. Immediately kissing him passionately, unbuttoning his shirt while he unbuttoned the back of your wedding dress, the dress fell on the carpet.

“Damn, you’re just as fine as I remember,” he groaned against your lips, his hands roaming over your waist, pulling you closer.

“You’re so passionate baby,” you breathed, your fingers sliding over his waves as you deepened the kiss, pouring everything you felt into it—anger, desire, frustration, and a longing you hadn’t allowed yourself to acknowledge.

He responded by lifting you slightly, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the wall, his body a hard contrast to the softness of yours.

You tucked at his belt buckle and moved your head to the side to tease, “Take it off for me, baby,” you demanded with a firm tone.

Kelvin’s eyes darkened with desire, the challenge in your voice igniting something primal within him. He smirked, his fingers deftly unbuckling his belt, eyes never leaving yours.

“I'm all yours, I promise to make you so happy,” he said softly, his smile shining from the moonlight.

“Just kiss me,” You chuckled, cupping his face. He kissed your lips once more, his lips soft and plump.

With a swift motion, he freed himself from his pants, the tension between you two palpable. “You’re right, but there’s no going back after this,” he replied, his tongue gliding across his lip.

He moved you to the couch, taking off your pants and underwear and you laid forward on the cushions, he hovered over you with his hands on your hips tight. “You ready?”

“Yeah, just fuck me already,”

By your word, he pushed his dick inside. You moaned loudly at the feeling of his length stretching you out, he groaned from the warmth and wetness around him. “Pussy’s still wet and tight as hell like I remember,” he grunted, biting down on his lip.

His hips rolling into you at a fast yet rough pace, your hands gripped the armrest. His hand rested on the nape of your neck, pulling in for a kiss, moaning Your essence coated him making it easy for him to slide right back in.

Your past, your anger to your mother, damn near everything faded away from every single thrust from the male, tears falling from your eyes. Replaced with pleasure, your screams echoed around the walls.

“Ouuu, I missed this dick,” you cried out, nails leaving marks on his back. Your eyes closed, rolling your hips with him.

He darkly chuckled at your moans, your face twisting up in pleasure, his tatted hands cupping your breasts softly. His mouth wrapped around your nipple, his tongue tracing shapes. “You don't even miss a nigga, baby?” he mumbled against your dark brown skin.

The moonlight peeked through the curtains, showing off his dick going in and out of your perfectly, “F-fuck, maybe..” cutting yourself with a moan.

“That’s not what your pussy is saying, you hear that?” He growled, referring to the skin-to-skin slapping in the room. His finger rubbed your clit in circles, driving you wild.

You nodded eagerly, gasping at his thrusts once they turned jagged to deliberate, knots tightened in your stomach. “Yes, your dick is so good.” His lips trailing kisses on your neck and left hickeys on your skin. “Yesss..ah shit, right there,”

Hitting that sweet spot right on cue, you whimpered lowly and wrapped your arms for dear life, “I-cumming!” you announced, eyes rolling back.

“Let it out, baby,” he soothed in your ear, his finger rubbing your clit in circles.

Your essence spewed onto his dick completely, he moaned deeply at the feeling of you, your walls clenching around him like it was all his, he pulled out of you and his tip spewed cum on your rug.

“You’re…cleaning…that..shit up,” you panted heavily, wiping the sweat from your forehead.

He chuckled but did as you told him, pulling up his boxers and pants, making sure to get you a warm washcloth, he wanted to clean you up, and Kelvin cleaned the mess using a towel that he got from the bathroom.

He crouched in front of you, his hands gentle as he wiped the remnants of your shared moment. Picking you up in his arms and carrying you into the spacious bathroom, running your bath.

He sat down across from you, he scooted closer to you, his forehead pressed against yours, kissing your lips, “I love you,” he confessed softly.

“I love you more, Kel,”

You didn't have to hesitate with Kelvin, he made everything better. You had everything in the palm of your hand, fortune, updated status in society as a queen, and power.

That didn't matter to you as long as you were with Kelvin, your king, your best friend and now husband. You washed everything away as he helped wash your back, he kissed your shoulder.

There was an undeniable chemistry simmering between both of you, one that made your skin tingle and your heart race.

—————

[whoopsyeahokay]

Alphabet Soup

summary: prompt fill. the journey of a clandestine love affair at several stages because Wally Clark craves what he can't have and refuses to keep his hands to himself. and you live for it.

pairing: grey!Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: smut. AU - modern setting. romanticized toxic behavior. cheating (not on you). HEA. fluff. egregious use of the word 'baby'.

bon reading, frens

___________________________🧿

Alphabet Soup - Z

Z is for zero fucks to sow—the field barren, the soil bad—when Principal Hartman announces Travis for Prom King.

The music is decent, Braden is being generous with his stash of vodka, and Wally has his favorite girl on his arm, done up in a dress that pivots his imagination into x-rated territory. Why the hell would he shed a tear over a Dollar Tree crown and a dance with Janet's two left feet? Let Travis have her. Recompense for what the bastard tried to do to you in April.

He spends the night with you in his arms, his hands on your ass over your dress on the dancefloor. He joins you and your friends on a crusade to McDonald's around 10PM because Simon underestimated Charley's tolerance and needs the grease to soak up the alcohol. It's hilarious. And real. None of the fake smiles and servile flattery Wally's accustomed to from his peers. Xavier's fucking comedy gold and Nicole is a sweetheart. Rhonda's terrifying and Wally doesn't look directly at her when she speaks, just in case she stabs him with her eyeballs.

As crazy as it sounds, he's pretty sure she's capable of manifesting a plague upon his house if he so much as acknowledges her existence beyond what she sees fit to share.

The point is, hanging out with you and your friends...it's different. Authentic. Nice in a way Wally never thought friendship could be. He pelts fries at Yuri's head when the guy makes a snarky comment about Wally's football glory, but it's done with humor. He laughs and jokes and lets himself be who he's always been on the inside, exposed and honest and bravely open. Because you're there. You've got his back. His heart. His everything. He trusts you so implicitly that he no longer fears judgment or rejection.

What even are you? Surely, you can't be human.

Back in the hotel reception hall, the DJ playing something Wally can grind his hips to, he has you against the wall, lips on your skin, hands under your dress, "Fuck, baby, we need to get out of here." His words panted and eager between kisses that make you melt into him. His suit's suddenly too tight, his body overheated, and he needs you so badly he might snap and do something stupid. Like fuck you right then and there with the class of 2025 for an audience.

Thankfully, at a grown 18, Wally was able to score a room on the top floor with his mama's permission and his dad's credit card. A surprise for his perfect little princess who deserves the whole fucking world and more.

The elevator ride up is thick with anticipation. The old woman and her dog who share the confined space cast you and Wally knowing looks as he tries so hard not to vibrate out of his skin. When he finally gets you alone, the frenzy in him evaporates into slow touches and soft words. He unzips your dress, lips on your shoulder, standing at your back as you watch him in the mirror.

He undresses in stages, kisses intense, disarming, and then gentle and filled with an affection Wally isn't sure won't kill him. It swells in his heart, outward through his body, so big and infinite he almost can't bear it, might explode at the simplest contact. He manages, though, remains intact, leads you into the palatial bathroom to wash and worship every inch of you as you rest between his legs, back to chest, your head on his shoulder.

There was a time not long ago that Wally would've surrendered to his impatience. Entitled and greedy; hot, fast fucks because you and he rarely had time to relax with the looming threat of someone discovering what was going on.

Jesus, he's so grateful that's behind him. That he has you like this. That you let him have you like this. Even after Janet shoved that video in your face in an attempt to ruin Wally's life. He remembers with fondness how you brushed it off, that was before, right?, and Wally nodded, you shrugged, Janet stormed off a loser.

The night extends into the morning and then past checkout, the maid getting an eyefull when she comes into the room to do her job. Her shriek spurs you and Wally out of bed and into last night's formalwear, both you and he giggling like idiots in the elevator, across the lobby, out to Wally's car.

He doesn't want it to end. And it doesn't have to, does it? He realizes, part shocked, part amazed. He can see you later. See you tomorrow. The day after, the day after that, all the way into the future, forever.

His hand on your thigh as he drives, thumb stroking your warm flesh, Wally glances at you and can't hide the love he feels building even higher inside him. You're everything he never knew he needed and he's lucky enough to have found you.

In that moment, Wally promises—to himself and to you—that you're stuck with him. He's never letting you go.

"I'm okay with that," You say so easily it's as if there was never any other option and Wally's just slow on the uptake.

He kisses you deep and thorough at a stop light, leans back with a smile so adoring you blush.

"I love you, sweet girl," He whispers, his forehead pressed to yours, "More than anything."

And, God strike him down the day that stops being true.

🧿___________fin.____________

MASTERLIST

also available on AO3!

alphabetical navigation:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

linear navigation:

B T K A F P V R M S D C I J H W N O E X G L Y U Q Z

-🧿-

if you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Hot For You.

smut. Wally is horny as fuck and can't keep his hands out of his pants. who are you not to help a friend in need?

[mariaxxxxx]

Dragon fruit ( Namor x fem!reader)

Summary: You beg K'uk'ulkan to give you a baby (+18)

Warnings: 18+ ONLY/ Minors DNI, Angust, Hurt comfort, Sex, Apologies, Crying, Creampie, Passionate sex, virgin!reader, size difference, smut, soft!dom!, HEA, good ending, somnophille, slight degradation, duvious consent, menstrual sex, pregnancy, arranged marriage, inexperienced reader, abortion commented, unprotected sex (don't do that wrap this thing), kidnapping, aftercare, curse words.

PART 2

A/N: English is not my mother tongue. I apologize for any errors.

You settled into your nightly beauty ritual to prepare for a night alone. Sitting on a small bench, You sighed in sadness as you looked at your untouchable marital bed. You felt like an idiot because you saw your husband throughout the day, but something inside you was feeling a little more needy than usual. Lacking the touches and kisses of the man with whom he shared his life for half a decade.

It was an agreement sealed without words, just with indecent gestures and touches; You were his good queen during the day and at night he devoured you like a thirsty beast. It was a perfect marriage, You would say; a passionate husband who gave her pleasure in and out of bed. But the idea that something was missing started to grow in your mind, you tried to know what was missing until, during a walk through the market, you discovered it. Your eyes lit up when you saw a young mother swimming with her baby tied to things and thought how she would like to have a baby of her own. After witnessing that simple scene, the idea of having a child timidly appeared in his mind and grew quickly, consuming all his neurons.

It started with a shy voice, deep in his head. A baby, the voice whispered in his mind. Have his babies, the voice hissed in his mind often. As a wife and queen You were expected to conceive a child one day, but such a conversation was never had between You and your husband. He never demanded a baby from her, but he never said he didn't want them.

You were moved by each completion of a lunar cycle where women went to the temple of Ixchel to thank for their blessings. You, as queen, were always present to thank the Goddess for your femininity and ask for good fruits in your marriage. Every time a young mother from Talokan swam to the feet of Ixchel with her baby in her arms and asked the Goddess for protection for her child, You imagined yourself with your own child on your lap thanking the Goddess for its life.

You haven't talked about this with your husband. God, no, you didn't want to stress him out even more. Her husband was so adamant after the peace agreement sealed between Talokan and Wakanda. The flame of war still burned in your pupils, so, following your role as wife and queen, You refused to bore him with your silly matters and decided to keep the thought and attempts to generate a life just for yourself.

However, the idea of keeping it a secret was increasingly becoming difficult to hide. You drooled every time you saw a gentle gesture between a mother and her son, you made love to your husband frequently demanding that he spill his semen inside You, you caressed your untouched stomach in front of the mirror imagining it swollen with K's seed. K'uk'ulkan, visited the temple of Ixchel placing baskets full of dragon fruit on its altar, took herbal infusion with dragon fruit seed to open her uterus and cried every time her menstruation arrived. Her husband was so busy that he didn't notice her lamentations about not having a baby in her womb.

K'uk'ulkan slides through the curtain with tired shoulders hunched, with generous drops of water sliding off him, he brushes his hair out of his eyes as he looks at You. For Ixchel he was so beautiful and irresistible that You had to press your fingers against his bench he was sitting on so as not to jump on it.

“You’re still awake, it’s late. You should sleep.”

You stand up with a smile. Your short nightgown, which barely covered your thighs, sways as you walk towards him.

“I'm fine, my love. I like waiting for my husband.” You say stopping in front of him.

“I have such a good wife.” He says cheekily as he presses a kiss to your blushing cheek.

He offers His armored wrists to You in a silent cry for help. You begin to remove each of your gold-plated vibranium accessories. You masterfully undid hooks and bonds, as you have done many times during your years at his side. When he was free of his ornaments he sealed her lips with his in a kiss of tenderness and passion.

“Come, lie down with me.” You tried to pull him onto the bed, but his firm hands kept you in place. “My love, is something wrong?”

"No." He said simply. “I’m just enjoying my queen’s beauty.”

Suddenly feeling shy, you looked away as your cheeks turned red.

“You shower me with praise, K'uk'ulkan.”

He nods and pulls you by your hips until you are pressed against his wet chest. He reaches out, cups her face and pulls her into a voracious kiss. A moan escapes his throat as he tastes her on his tongue. You bite his lips and pull the way he likes, your husband lets out a sound through his mouth and kisses you again like a thirsty man, savoring your mouth as if it were the tastiest candy.

You place your hands on his solid chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken at your touch. Gods, You will never tire of the effect you have on him. This made You greedy and malicious, but possessing power over a God-king provided You with absurd pleasure. He breaks the kiss leaving You a mess with your heavy breathing and swollen lips.

“I intend to shower you with more than praise, my queen.” He murmurs as he pushes her a little towards the bed. You fall sitting on the soft reeds covered in soft sheets and pillows. “Lie down and spread your legs for your husband.”

You obeyed, as you always did, laying your head on the soft pillows and spreading your legs. Your breath catches and you bite your lip when your king positions himself between your legs and observes your naked sex.

“What a good girl I have in my bed.” He says in a sigh as he watched your exposed pussy. "So beautiful..."

He hums as he positions his face in front of her pussy with every intention of devouring her. Hot breath penetrates through your thin skin, sending pleasurable spikes. You feel him place small kisses on your pelvis, making your legs tremble as your core vibrates in anticipation. His wet hands explore her body covered in the thin nightgown.

“K'uk'ulkan...” You whimper as he pinches your left nipple,

He ignores it as he tugs at your nightgown with an impatient growl. He rips it line by line until your body is completely exposed to him.

He moves off your pelvis and begins to place soft kisses on your exposed belly, making the wet spot between your legs grow absurdly. You knew he couldn't see his excitement, but his nose could smell the sweet smell that your pussy gave off. Your husband moves away from you, supporting himself on his elbows and looks directly into his face.

“My beautiful, beautiful queen.” He says while feeling one of her breasts with his hands. “They would look beautiful swollen with milk…” his hand leaves her breast and goes to her belly. “...You would be even more beautiful with my seed growing inside You.”

His words take you by surprise, taking you out of your little world of pleasure. Her breath hitches when her husband's smile becomes wider than normal.

“I... I...” You stammered and babbled like an idiot without knowing how to respond.

“I know the woman I love, my queen.” He began to caress her stomach as if something was growing there. “You think I didn’t understand your anguish and desire for a child. I know that it goes back to the time of Ixchel and offers dragon fruit and prayers so that she fills her womb with a child.”

"I am really sorry." You finally say. “I didn’t want to upset him. You're so stressed after the battle with Wakanda, I didn't want to fill your head with my empty desires.”

Her husband exclaimed a sound through his mouth and looked at you with disappointment.

“You wanting a child doesn’t upset me, my love.” He kissed her lips, walked away and spoke again: “What upsets me is my queen turning to another God to conceive a child.

"My love..."

He interrupts her with a simple look and speaks again.

“Pray that K'uk'ulkan will give you a baby.”

He returns to his starting position, with his head between your legs, he takes a single breath against your exposed pussy, his hair glistening with wetness, before diving in and latching onto your throbbing clit. Lewd sighs and moans escaped his lips as you ran your hands through his wet hair to pull him closer to your pussy. With impressive skill he sucks, licks and pinches his wetness.

The tension in your body increases as You fight to keep yourself sane, your arousal constantly dripping down and staining the sheets. He puts his hands on her thighs to keep them apart and devour her pussy. He ate You like a hungry man; licking her entrance, sucking her clit with his lips and brushing his beard against her skin. You cry out in surprise as you feel him bury his nose over your clit, the jade piercing brushing against your stimulated folds. He actively rubbed his face against your pussy, causing a large wave of excitement that made you shudder as you moved your hips seeking more contact.

Just as you were about to reach orgasm, he pulls away from your pussy, forming a stream of saliva from your mouth to your pussy. You open your mouth and let out an anguished gasp.

"No! Please." You whimper, your legs tremble as that peak of pleasure escapes you for a long time.

You tighten your fingers in his hair in frustration, demanding that he give you the release you desire, but he pulls away. He stands there with a cheeky look as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, spreading his lubrication across his cheek.

“You will orgasm on my cock, my love.” He sighs, his voice hoarse with desire, his pupils darkening and his cock hard. "Let's go! Cry for K'uk'ulkan to give you a baby.”

You spread your legs to welcome him, your wet pussy brushing against the fabric covering his hardening cock. You search for more contact and rub your soaked entrance against his green shorts until he pulls them down. You sigh as you come across such a glorious sight.

“K’uk’ulkan.” You whisper at the sight of his hard compliance eager to accomplish his goal. He rests his dark red head, which was leaking and twitching involuntarily, on her swollen and sensitive clit. You squinted your eyes, enjoying the friction caused by the movements of his hips.

“Come on, wife! Pray that K'uk'ulkan will give you a baby.”

“K’uk’ulkan...” You begin as he positions his member at your entrance. “I beg you to give me a son.” He pushes his fulfillment against the curve of your center, answering your prayer. A loud moan escapes your dry throat when, in a single thrust, he penetrates you.

"Continues." He orders as he pushes his length, sliding it in easily thanks to his touches and how demanding your pussy was to receive him.

You throw your head back as you feel him fully inside You. Your mind goes black as all You can feel is him thrusting hard inside You, pounding until You can feel his heavy balls rubbing against your pussy. You could only moan obscenely as you closed your eyes.

"Let's go! Ask... Ask K'uk'ulkan to give you a baby. Beg him to fill your empty womb with his seed.” He gasps as he felt You squirm beneath him.

“K'uk'ulkan, I offer you everything; fruits, devotion, wine. I only ask that you fill my womb with your seed.” You hiss as you pull him closer, your walls bulging around him. “I give you my heart, my spirit and my love.”

“Offer more.” Demands her husband while thrusting mercilessly.

“I will fill your altar with dragon fruit and I will kneel...” You let out a loud moan when his dick hits that ideal spot inside You. “...Give me a baby.”

"Yes." He says as he chatters his teeth upon hearing your delightful prayer. He kisses her fiercely, a mixture of teeth and lips, her husband pulls away with his addictive lips.

“Your cry has been heard.” He places one hand on her belly to keep her steady while he penetrates her pussy. “K'uk'ulkan will give you a baby.”

Your nails dig painfully into your husband's back and you scream when you feel his dick rub every sensitive spot inside you, causing absurd waves of pleasure that spread through every cell in your body. Your husband growls, aligns his hips up, and digs his member as deep as he can, speeding up his movements.

He thrusts into you with precision, kissing your lips to swallow your screams of pleasure that escape your throat. Excitement fills her thoughts as You allow her husband, this God, to lift her to heaven with his cock. He sets a brutal pace, slamming his cock into her sensitive pussy. His breasts bounce painfully with each thrust of his hips.

"Take it." He growls the word, opening his teeth like an animal. “Take my seed, wife. Carry my children.”

He holds your hips with his fingers and squeezes them until his finger marks remain. You don't care, the pleasure he gave you left you oblivious to anything. He ejaculates inside You, shuddering as your walls accompany him in a sublime climax. With each generous jet of cum into his womb, you whimper with relief as you finally feel satisfied and full. He places soft kisses on your cheeks and lips.

You feel him soften in your pussy, he finally pulls out, releasing his fluids onto the sheets. He immediately shoves two fingers into her sensitive entrance pushing his cum back inside.

“Don’t waste anything.” He says, admiring the results of the desire between his fingers.

“Let me get up.” You say as you sit up in bed, or try to, your legs are shaking and your lungs are panting. “I must place a basket of dragon fruit on K'uk'ulkan's altar and kneel at his feet.”

“No need to bother, my love.” He says with his fingers still inside You. “He has his tasty dragon fruit right here. Ready to be devoured again and again and again.” He sticks a third finger inside You while using his other hand to touch your sensitive and aching clit. “I’m going to fuck you until you’re pregnant.”

You scream his name in a prayer of pleasure as his fingers begin to stimulate your clit and his fingers inside you stimulate the spongy flesh in your pussy.

[dramalove247]

Favorite Things: Our Youth part 1

Instantly wanted to re-watch this series, but not emotionally ready for that. Pretty sure this is one of those stories that will cause me more pain the second time around. Even putting this post together caused a lot of feels. We fell in love with the story of these two broken and abandoned boys that make each other their home.

Apparently this will be part 1 of 2 because we had more than 10 posts we wanted to share and refuse to cut any more of them than we already had! So enjoy some of our favorite posts (spoilers ahead):

Starting with the end. It gave us so much sweet comfort, but there was also a layer of pain just under the surface. For us, it was perfect. It felt real and deep and complicated and matched the tone of the entire show. We love how Minase and Hirukawa have found what they needed in each other and it's the start of their healing.

Though the choice to stay in the closet, and the weight and emotional toll of that decision, may not have been the ideal ending people wanted, we think it was beautifully honest. We agree with @small-dark-and-delicious that the way this unfolded in the story fit the characters. We think the show did an amazing job of portraying the complexity of the situation and we are grateful for it's inclusion and the emotions and conversations occurring because of it.

The testing of the waters in their friend group felt like Hirukawa trying to open the door, no matter how small. We agree with @aceoflights that Hirukawa intentionally did it in a way that would protect Minase.

@putterphubase put together a beautiful post of 😍 GIFS containing some of the sweetest moments from episode 10

"Shit. That was some serious foreshadowing." We knew more pain was coming, so it only made this scene hit even harder. We were definitely with @pigglepiephi on this one.

This show sucked us in hard and fast. But this scene, WTH?!? We watched that SHIT BEFORE BED!!!! That was a mistake of epic proportions. It was way too late to feel these emotions, forget trying to confront the tailspin that was caused by this seriously toxic red flag desperate act of self endangerment for the sake of connection being romantic as fuck. How do you sleep after that?!? answer is you don't, you watch an episode of Fourever You Thanks for the screenshots of this scene @respectthepetty

And 😍 GIFS by @wanderlust-in-my-soul of just after the admission. Kill me again.

Editing to add this post. @nuthong captured this aching scene so well in their GIFs. Every time I see this scene, I get all the feels and I shared my love for it in this post:

Continued in part 2:

[acourtofthought]

Have you seen the latest news? SJM's message in the giant Acotar book could be a direct reference to chapter 21 Acosf. I think it's the Gwynriel book. I love Gwynriel but it also kind of makes me so sad to wait another couple of years for Lucien and Elain's situation to be concluded. They've been on the sidelines for so long. 😭😭😭I know I'm not the only one feeling down, even if I'm happy that the shipwar will come to an end and we might get a glimpse of Elucien too... but still.

The large book is Chapter 21 of ACOTAR where Feyre meets Rhys.

The quote is from Chapter 21 of ACOMAF where Feyre meets the weaver and thinks on how she's a wolf (Nesta's also called a wolf).

Chapter 21 of ACOSF is when Elain says "Why?" "Shall I tend to my little garden forever?" "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater."

And

"I am not a child to be fought over." "Find me when you wish to begin."

And

"Yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you."

Where Nesta says, "look who decided to grow claws after all, maybe you'll become interesting at last."

Chapter 21 of SF actually doesn't mention the Valkyrie at all. Chapter 56 is when Nesta turns to Chapter Twenty-One of the book Gwyn was working on.

Is that scene meaningful? Absolutely. But is it more meaningful than Elain finally standing up for herself and showing teeth and volunteering to do something dangerous? With Elain saying that she cannot be told what to do and that it's up to her whether she wants to do something greater? With her reminding them of her trauma?

So could it be hinting at a Gwynriel book? Sure! But it could EASILY also be hinting at an Elain book if we're really looking for next book clues. I have to say, Elain finally standing up for herself to be seen and heard and to do more does hold more weight for me than the Valkyrie scene considering they just made their debut, they won't be ready for battle training for years (per Casian) whereas Elain has been waiting to finally be "not boring" (according to the characters) for a long time. I just still struggle to see Gwyn getting a POV as a newly introduced character, getting to have her HEA before the last Archeron who has been with this series from the start, a character we've witnessed her trauma on page in real time (in the books), yet she gets pushed aside for someone else though both her sisters were given their healing arcs.

Now, I could absolutely be wrong because I'm not Sarah. But to me, I do think Chapter 21 in the actual book was a pretty badass scene for Elain and the "find me when you wish to begin" would lead us pretty perfectly into her book especially when you consider how Feyre said "let's help one sister before helping the other", and SF ending with Nesta placing Elain's rose on their fathers gravestone. I also think it's interesting that the Bloomsbury setup in Waterstones featured the quote from Papa A about how they needed hope or else they could not endure and Feyre (and Sarah) have mentioned how Elain had seen that cottage with hope, that hope is stronger than hate.

I also think it would be surprising, after all the comments on the next book being Az's book because he was the one in need of the main healing arc, that now the clue would suddenly be telling us it's Gwyn's book with no hint of Az whatsoever. How the clue is hinting at the Valkyries continued saga and nothing regarding Az's arc. And I think when we turned to Chapter 21 in ACOTAR and turned to Chapter 21 in ACOMAF, it would be more likely for us to turn to Chapter 21 in ACOSF rather than us having to turn to Chapter 56 just to look for the words "Chapter 21".

[deepperplexity]

Prompt 21: Heartfelt Confessions [A6]

Pairing: Colonel Brandon x Fem!OC

POV: First, OC

Continuation of: Prompt 1. December Moon [A1], Prompt 5. Open Doors [A2], Prompt 11. Out Of Reach [A3], Prompt 17. Truthful Longing [A4], Prompt 20. Wrongful Perceptions [A5]

A/N: WE HAVE OUR FIRST BIG ENDING! Today, we’re wrapping up Colonel Brandon’s story and I am so happy for this man, and for Calliope of course. They are so good together and I hope you’ll absolutely love this!

We've been hosting the first of two Christmas celebrations today and I'm here with about 30 minutes left of today - I MADE IT 😂😂😂

Tags/TW’s: Declarations Of Love, JUSTICE FOR BRANDON, Marriage, Christmas Wedding, Love Wins, Explicit Smut, WE GET OUR FIRST HEA OF RICKMAS2024

Word Count: 3.8k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

Heartfelt Confessions

Once again I was bolting out of a room — only this time, I did not come far. Christopher stood right by the stairs, a few steps from me. His eyes were alight with warmth and the depth of them seemed endless.

“Christopher, please,” I whispered as my throat got snagged by the beauty he was in the shimmering light of candles and lanterns granting a warm glow to the hallway and landing.

He smiled softly, his shoulders relaxed. “You find me wonderful and kind?” he asked.

I nodded. “I do…”

“And you are falling in love with me?” he continued, the rumble of his voice a caress to my senses.

“I am…” My voice was weak compared to his, yet it held the same volume.

“And you will marry only me?” he asked quietly, gently, softly, while taking a step toward me.

Tears blurred my vision as I nodded. I could not stand the distance between us and in a flurry of red fabric, I ran toward him. He caught me in those strong arms and held me tightly against his wide chest. His heart beat harshly under my cheek, in tune with my rapid pulse. Flashes of Delaford mingled with flashes of him in my head. The bookcases, the soothing energy, the welcoming colours and the warmth that seemed to permeate all who lived and worked at the estate under him — all things told of how wonderful he was.

A man who was kind to those below him was a good man. A man with bookcases filled with arts of the heart and soul was a warm man. A man who would care for a stranger and ride through the harsh winter for one was a caring man. A man, like Christopher, was always what my heart had desired — that he was grander and warmer, kinder and more caring than any man I could ever dream up had made my heart his without my saying being needed.

He kissed the top of my head, dragging a deep breath through that hooked nose of his I wished to trail my finger along the ridge of. I shivered, goosebumps travelling along my spine, and he chuckled against my scalp.

“I have travelled the world, yet the one I have searched for was but a horse ride away. How… poetic.”

“You ought to have listened to Mrs Hatchfield,” I commented while leaning my head back to find him arching a brow at me. “She said as much this morning.”

“To you, I assume. I do not listen in on private conversations.”

“You did just now.”

“No, my dear. You screamed the words for all to hear, had I been at the end of the stairs I would still have been privy to them,” he said with a smile as his hand came up to stroke away a strand of hair from my cheek.

“Calliope!” Father called and the sound of footsteps came after. I turned but refused to part from Christopher even as he made to step back out of decency — or propriety, perhaps.

“Calli—” Father halted in the doorway “—is this what you truly want?” he asked while his eyes went all over us. From the hands at my waist to my own atop Christopher’s shoulders.

“Yes. This is the man, the only man that shall ever be prevailed upon me to marry.”

Father sighed and then smiled. “Well, I shall see to it happening, then.” I smiled at that. Seeing my father’s eyes turn happy while feeling Christopher's hands tighten around my waist had me suffocating a squeal of joy. I would marry, but I would marry the man my heart had been captured by — not out of necessity, not to a man seeking only my looks, not to a man without depth, and not to a man who would leave me loveless.

I would marry out of love. I would marry one whom I loved and was loved by in return.

“Well, I better start preparations, a Christmas wedding…” Father mused. “You hear that, my love? Just like us,” he continued quietly while looking toward the sky beyond the ceiling above. I followed and thought of my mother, her smile and kindness ever-present in my mind. Just as you wished, I will live a life of love and poetry, Mother.

⁛•⁛

It had been sixteen days since we declared our wedding to be impending. Sixteen hectic, bustling, manic days with not a spare moment for thought or calmness. I had not thought Father serious when he had declared we would have a Christmas wedding, but I was quickly proven wrong.

Waking up on my wedding day with nothing but longing in my heart and warmth in my gut must have been a miracle of some sort. Wedding jitters did not rear their head, doubt did not spread its wings, and no wish for time to slow down presented itself. I only wished for it to move quicker, so I could be with the man who had captured me so fully.

The door glided open, and Mrs Marble along with Miss Abel strolled in while wishing me a good morning — their faces were bright with smiles as I had confessed to them how my heart pounded for the colonel they had worried was forced upon me.

“Good morning,” I replied and flung the cover of myself. “Is he here?” I asked, dragging on my robe.

“Oh, look at you, miss. A bundle of joy today,” Mrs Marble said happily while opening up the drapes. “We shall have breakfast and then it is time to prepare for the ceremony. Oh, to think, in a few hours you shall be a colonel’s wife.”

“Mrs Brandon… It has a nice ring, miss,” Miss Abel said brightly.

“It does, doesn’t it?” I smiled and tied the sash around my waist while Mrs Marble went through my closet for a dress to wear during the morning.

It did not take long before I was dressed, prepared, and seated by the table with freshly baked bread on my plate and a soothing tea in my cup.

“Ah, Calliope, good morning!” Father positively beamed as he entered the breakfast room.

“Good morning, Father.”

“Wonderful day, wonderful day,” he said while sitting down and grabbing the morning paper. “Now, let us hope nothing goes amiss today. My daughter, getting married, to a colonel whom she loves. Ah, wonderful day indeed!” he exclaimed and I smiled at him.

It had been a long time since I saw him so happy, not since Mother lived had he beamed in such a manner during the morning hours — or any hours of the day for that matter. I was perhaps too occupied with my own thoughts and feelings at that moment to truly appreciate it, but I did enjoy the warmth it filled the air with as I ate and drank despite wanting nothing but to get ready to become Christopher’s wife.

⁛•⁛

I held the white flowers wrapped in a green silky string along the stems. My enormous dress flared all around me, it was not exactly my choice, but a pre-made dress that had been fitted to me. There had not been enough time for the traditional planning, or shopping, or anything of the sort with just above two weeks of time. I did not mind. It was beautiful, despite not being perfect. The only thing that needed to be perfect was the man at the end of the aisle beyond the chapel's doors — and that he was.

I drew a deep breath as Miss Abel fluffed my dress and then flipped the veil over my face. My hands shook with excitement.

“Ready, miss?” she asked and I nodded. “I’ll tell them.” With that, I was left alone to wait for the music to play and the doors to open. Hurry up, my mind whined as I felt as if I had waited an eternity for this day. I had waited all my life, I just never really knew it before this moment came.

The music began and the doors swung open. The crowd gathered rose from the benches as I began my walk down the aisle. None of the decorations or faces around me mattered when my heart soared at the sight of Christopher. He wore his colonel attire — complete with gleaming sword and all the extra decorations in gold attached to the coat — and I swooned. He was perfect, proud and strong, but with a kind heart and gentle soul I would spend the rest of my life finding harmony with.

He smiled as I took my place next to him, taking my free hand in his before we turned toward the pastor who indicated for all to sit. I barely heard a word the old man droned out. My pulse raced, my heart hammered, my fingers were squeezed by Christopher’s and through it all I had to force myself not to giggle with jubilant glee at the luck I had found — or, rode into perhaps.

One minute I was Miss Haymnick, and the next, I was Mrs Brandon. Mrs Brandon. Mrs Brandon, wife of Colonel Christopher Brandon… I may have to pinch myself at some point. And then the veil was lifted, stopping my thoughts and arresting my breath as the man who was now my husband leaned in to seal our commitment with a kiss before all who witnessed our union.

I kissed him, leaning into him and stalling the departure of our lips as the crowd broke out in shouts and claps. Warmth swirled in my gut, heat pooled in indecent places and a flush crept along my cheeks like a warm summer breeze.

“Mrs Brandon,” he whispered against my lips and I finally allowed the giggle to escape. It made him smile in the warmest, most adoring of ways — I giggled again as he took my hand and then I beamed at him. A smile so wide my cheeks hurt bloomed, but the joy was too great to diminish even when I attempted it.

We walked, hand in hand, down the aisle and out to the waiting sleigh pulled by two white horses. The sleigh and animals were adorned by green ribbons and golden bells — in the white landscape, it could not have been more Christmas-like. As Christopher helped me into the sleigh with a sturdy grip on my hand, snow began to fall in a soft sprinkle. I laughed and he smiled as he elegantly climbed up and sat down next to me, drawing a fur across our legs before I looked back at the crowd.

Father had tears in his eyes and a great smile across his lips, he seemed younger at that moment and more relaxed than I’d seen him in the past six months. You worried about me, my future…

“Toss it!” came the shout of Miss Able, whose smile was another great one. I laughed, looked ahead, and flung the bouquet up in the air to a chorus of female shouts of excitement. When I looked back as the sleigh pulled forward, it had landed in the hands of Mr Hilliard — who looked frightened as the women glared at him. I laughed again and cuddled up to Christopher, his wide biceps nice to wrap my hands and arms around.

“Let us head home, Mrs Brandon,” he murmured, kissing the top of my head.

“Home,” I whispered. Our home.

It only took a few minutes for the sleigh to arrive at the gates, and when we came to a halt the doors opened wide and smiling faces met us as Christopher climbed out of the sleigh and offered his hand. As soon as my feet hit the ground he swept me up in his arms. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck as he marched us up the steps and inside the estate.

The servants all said their congratulations, but he did not stop to allow me to greet each of them. No, he headed up two flights of stairs and eventually stepped into what I could only assume to be the master bedroom.

My throat worked on a swallow, my nerves entangled themselves at the sight of the massive bed dressed in white linens. The room was beautiful, the bed an incredible piece of craftsmanship and the man it belonged to the picture of perfection for me. Yet, now, it frightened me to know what this room would become. I was innocent. I had kissed none but my husband, had been with none until he came into my life and now this masterpiece of a man would be the one I’d share everything with — body and mind. At the moment, the body part worried me.

He sat me down, not having broken a sweat carrying me so far, and turned me to stand face-to-face with him.

“Beautiful,” he whispered and the compliment had never before sounded so wonderful.

“Christopher,” I whispered.

“I cannot wait to wake up each day to you,” he confessed, his ears taking on a reddish hue to my complete enjoyment.

“And I you,” I replied, placing a hand atop his chest where his heart thumped steadily for me. “You are a dream come true, darling,” I continued in earnest.

“My summer sky,” he whispered, grabbing my hand and lifting it so he could kiss my warm palm.

“The wedding party shall commence in a mere hour. The crowd will begin to arrive soon, yet…” he began, his voice darker than ever and deeper than I could remember as he watched my eyes intently.

“And yet..?”

“I cannot stand the thought of not having you fully, before I take another breath I wish to have you, my Calliope…”

I blinked, heat coursing through my veins and muting me. I could feel his longing, his want, his love and it was reflected in my own core. I nodded, unable to say a word when the tension rose and my fear of the unknown mingled with the desperation to know him in every manner possible.

He kissed me. Softly, at first, and then ardently as his hands moved to grasp each side of my head. I moaned into his mouth, surprised by my own sounds and desperate move to grasp at his coat. Something inside me pushed and prodded, had me wanting something I couldn’t term.

“Christopher,” I whispered against his lips and he groaned, and he deepened the kiss.

“You—” kiss “—are—” kiss “—everything,” he said as my body seemed to catch fire in my thick dress.

“Too warm,” I murmured before whimpering as his lips abandoned me.

“Say yes to me,” he urged. “Please, Calliope, I cannot hold off a minute longer, my dearest,” he pleaded with honesty in his voice and eyes.

“Yes, please, please, yes,” I said, almost begging myself.

We clashed. He turned quick and rushed, turned desperate. Strings were tugged, buttons jerked free, fabric ripped off, and skin revealed. I gasped as he tore off my last remaining garment, I was bared for him as he was bared to me. In the early afternoon light and only the fire sparkling in its hearth the light cast a wondrous glow on our bodies.

My mouth watered while my throat dried. His wide shoulders that tapered off to a narrowed waist connected by a chest dusted with soft-looking hair had me gulping. My legs shook as my body refused to bend my neck to look further down. I found his eyes roaming all over my body with a yearning so visceral it stole my remaining breath.

He took a steady step toward me and I took half a step back, I wanted him yet I was frightened of the overload of emotions and sensations coursing through me at the sight of him — at the sight of his yearning for me in those deep eyes.

“My summer sky,” he murmured as he stepped up to me. “You are more than I ever dreamt of.

“C-Christopher,” I whispered. “I…”

“Allow me to adore you,” he said, kissing me once more and my worry dwindled.

He moved me to the bed, laying me down gently. The soft linen beneath and the warmth of his flesh above had me pinned in an influx of sensations. Then I felt his manhood against my pelvis. I gasped at the heat it emitted.

“I will not harm you,” he whispered into my mouth. “Discomfort may arise at first, but I beg of you to trust in me, my wife…” His words were softly spoken, a caress to my ears much like the caress his hand offered my ribs and then my hip before he grabbed my thigh and moved my leg to the side.

I gasped as he repeated the movement on the other side and suddenly he lay snuggled between my legs, his cock pressed against my core — I pulsed and warmed, tension strung itself through my body while an unknown need flowed through my veins.

“Please, I-, I-, please,” I whimpered as he kissed my throat and caressed my side with one hand — holding his weight with the other next to my head.

“Slowly, I will not take you too swiftly,” he said before his hand slipped up and toward my breast. I gasped as his thumb smoothly flicked over my hardened nipple only to return and circle the bud most gently. His lips never left my skin and my legs folded around him instinctively.

He moved his hips, my back arched as his cock pressed against a most sensitive spot at my core.

“That’s it, my darling wife. Soften for me, warm for me,” he murmured in a rumble that vibrated from his chest to mine. “I need you soft and pliable, so I may be gentle with you.”

“Christopher, p-please…” I gasped and grabbed at his back when his lips stroked along my neck, his cock sliding along my slicked core, and his thumb kept rolling my nipple in the most sensational manner.

I hissed a moan as he pressed himself harder against me, forcing my legs wider and the contact against that spot to be heightened. Moisture pooled inside of me, I could feel it lubricate him as he moved back and forth at a measured pace. His grunts and breaths turned harder by my ear and he whispered of his love for me as I ached for him.

“You are beautiful, my wonder of a wife,” he praised with a deep groan as I moaned his name. “I will be gentle, I beg of you to trust me in this,” he said before rising and kissing me deeply. The hand at my breast disappeared and I savoured the taste of him.

Then I felt him prod at my entrance and I stiffened. He broke the kiss only long enough to ask me to relax and trust in him. I did. I did trust him, with my heart and body. He kissed me again while the head of his cock pressed against my entrance. I moaned as my body pulsed, wanting the connection he offered yet still feeling trepidation about the unknown.

He pushed, and I whimpered against his lips. He began slipping inside and my body both wanted and fought the intrusion.

“Breathe with me,” he urged. “Breathe with me, my dearest.”

I looked up at him hovering above. “I— Christopher, love, please,” I moaned, nearly whining as he pushed further into me.

“I love you,” he said and my breath faltered. “I will only ever love and care for you,” he continued and our eyes locked. Our breaths mingled and he jerked forward. I gasped and tensed as he slipped all the way in.

“Calliope,” he groaned and stilled. Then his hand kneaded my breast and his thumb flicked my nipple as his mouth found mine.

I whimpered and he groaned before he began to move. Each pull and push had my body yielding a bit more to the intrusion and he offered soft encouragement and gentle compliments as he slowly upped the pace and my body fully caved to him. I felt full and warm, the sting had lessened and my insides shaped themselves to accommodate him.

“Oh, god,” I whimpered as he rose a little and upped the pace. Our bodies made sounds I’d never heard before.

“You are perfection,” he groaned, panting hard as his hips jerked forward and I was melting beneath him.

My eyes sought his and were met with an intensity incomparable to any I had seen before. It was the look spoken of in poems, in heartfelt romances, in fairytales and songs of love. He viewed me with all the love in the world, and I felt it well in me in return.

He strained, a vein popping in his neck and his muscles stiffening all around me. I moaned as he kept the pace and steadied himself on only one hand. The other slipped down my ribs, over my hipbone and found its way to my core where his thumb had me shrieking out a call of his name. Bolts shot through me as he circled the bud there, eliciting the most core-tensing and desperation-fuelled sensations through my entire body.

“I shall have you fully,” he groaned, switching his motions until I whimpered and tensed beneath him. “I need you,” he continued and the need to cry out overwhelmed me into silence with my mouth open as my back arched. Something was happening to me, I desperately climbed toward something and it terrified me. My body was rendered out of control under his ministrations.

“Let go, my darling,” he ground between clenched teeth. “Let go, let go, darling,” he urged and as my eyes closed stars flecked the blackened view. Something coiled inside me and as he flicked his thumb and upped the pace of his hips I spiralled.

I called his name in abandon as he groaned mine and praised the heavens. I convulsed, I shook, my body was shattering and mending all at the same time while I felt him still and pulse between my trembling legs. My hands had gripped his forearms, my nails embedding themselves in his skin as I cried out during the final wave of ecstasy.

I sank into the mattress, a heaving mess of uncoordinated limbs and sweat-misted skin. Then he lowered himself, leaning over me, and kissed me deeply while his nose had his breaths fanning over my cheek in harsh rushes.

“Perfect,” he whispered. “You are perfect, and I love you, Calliope.”

“I… I love you, Christopher,” I whispered as my heaving chest made it hard to speak. “You’ve stolen my breath, literally…”

He smiled cheekily. “I shall endeavour to do so every evening for the remainder of our lives, my darling.”

I cannot wait to live such a life with you… “Please do, my love,” I whispered as the sound of my own heart rejoicing filled me from within.

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: I LOVE THEM AND THEY ARE HAPPY!!! 😭👏

Oh I hope you loved the first ending of our long serials for this Rickmas, darlings 🥰 These two have been such a roller-coaster to write and I just adore how perfect they are together, how they value each other and are equally in love with one another ❤❤❤

TAGLIST: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @dontwanttobeanamercanidiot @sunnylikesfrogs @dianilaws @snapesno1thighrider @sassanoe @snapesrn @bernadette-peters12 @sammy-13 @smartowl999 @castleofthorns @serenanight87 @leah1243 @cherihan @poetry-and-tea @evans23 @mamawolfsmith87 @snapesrn @severussimp @slyckman @liv2post @clawsthecactus @goldenglowwoman @sunset90 @meliabrandon @snapesrn @theheartwants-what-itwants @slyckman @thatlittlefangirl @sanji-simp @ankhmutes @lessdepressy @snapesrn @theheartwants-what-itwants @slyckman @daddythanatos

Want to be tagged? You can tag yourself HERE! Or tell me and I’ll gladly tag you!

[elainsgirl]

honestly gwynriels are some of the rudest people i’ve seen on tumblr, tiktok and instagram. they will push their way into elriel spaces and shove their theories down your throat as if it’s facts. and not to mention the recent thing with that instagram post where it seemed like elriel emojis were either the top comment or somehow an easter egg for the next book. their response? spamming the comments with “gwynriel” emojis. like… how are you so insecure about your ship that you feel the need to overwhelm the other ship’s comments under a singular post? while i can’t say for sure — because i straight up refuse to properly read gwynriel posts anymore as i’ve found their posts to be either repetitive (probably because they have 🤏 this much canon content to work with), nonsensical or downright completely making stuff up to support their theories — i don’t think i’ve ever seen elriels push themselves into gwynriel spaces and straight up attack them (thinking back on when i was new to the fandom and was exposed to all the different ships). of course there are always bad apples, but they seem to be rare amongst elriels. idk maybe i’ve just created a nice space for myself and somehow avoided them

There’s bad apples in every side of the fandom. I’ve seen elriels be mean and degrading as well as antis - but In my personal opinion or experience, toxic elriel stans are just…trolls. Whereas with Gwynriel and Elucien - yes some of them are trolls but their main toxicity comes from their arguements which are popular and widely accepted. Whereas with elriel - we genuinely don’t have a toxic elriel arguement that is supported by so many.

As an example:

A popular Elucien take is that Lucien deserves to be happy therefore Elain needs to accept the bond so Lucien can get his hea - That take is toxic and a bit degrading towards Elain however it is an acceptable thing to say with the majority of eluciens. 8/10 ask an elucien why they ship them and they’ll give you the above reason.

With elriel - I cannot think of a toxic take that is widely accepted by elriels. Not to say Elriels haven’t come up with horrible or degrading takes towards Lucien/Gwyn - but its not widely accepted. Take some believing that Gwyn is an “evil” LS. Maybe 4/10 elriels would agree but mainly - none of us think she’s evil. Possibly manipulated? Yes. But having nefarious intentions? No.

You get my point?

What they did with that instagram post was just downright embarrassing. Like there is no other way to word it - it was icky, pathetic and honestly. For me, it just solidified they are very very insecure in their ship and as people, petty. Bcs wtf childish behaviour was that??? And now crying over someone theorising Elain being an LS when majority have hated Gwyn being an Ls for so long. Its just. Im so glad to be an elriel. & grateful elriels dont behave like they do on average.

LMFAO you’re so real for that bcs I do not keep up with Gwynriel or elucien posts. It requires a whole different type of anti logic to understand.

I think when elriels comment under anti stuff, 95% of the time its by accident or people just wanting to have a genuine conversation but when antis comment under elriel content, 99.999% of the time its to rile elriels up. Atp, im convinced they dont even gaf about you refuting their points. They just want to spread their arguments and misinformation in a superior, condescending manner. Then you prove them wrong and they go crying about “elriels are soooo toxic” then boom, blocked you.

I love the elriel bubble I created for myself, it’s filled with good people who love elriel as much as I do. They’ve made this fandom such a bearable place to be in and its why I love creating elriel content. I wouldn’t change my mutuals and friends ive made through liking elriel for the world. And Im glad you’ve created that positive elriel space for yourself too.

[chokememaximoff]

Regrets & Resilience I

Abstract:Meet an Avenger with a past as heavy as her armor, caught in a web of history and heartache. Crushes and grudges collide when she joins forces with Wanda Maximoff on a wild mission. But when trouble hits hard, it's her turn to step up and shield the very person who resented her.

TW:angst,mentions of death,battle scene,detailed injury description,sight loss. That's all I think

I'm slammed against the wall by the angry Sokovian and I groan as my head bounces off the concrete walls of the warehouse. I push her away and that pissed her off even more and I was so confused. Yes we were on a mission in Sokovia to deal with Hydra, but these two twins were making it a living hell...and they were especially mad at dad and me. I don't know her, I never did anything to her.

"Let's just calm down an-" I hiss as her fist meets my jaw and her brother speeds to her holding her back.

"Let me at her Pietro! They killed them! You took everything from us!" She yells and I was more confused than ever. The brother speeds off with her and I find my way out of the basement I somehow ended up with while fighting with her.

Later on I ended up finding out her name was Wanda Maximoff and the weapons my dad built were the reason her parents were dead. I've never felt more guilty in my life.

..

Scratch that..I felt guilty every day now. After the battle in Sokovia against Ultron they both became Avengers and it was so awkward to say the least. She would make snarky comments at me every now and then and if it came to me training her she would refuse it. She was on amazing terms with everyone except my dad and me.

I walk by her room one night as I couldn't sleep from having nightmares, then I hear crying coming out of Wanda's room. I knock and come inside to see her asleep having a nightmare. My heart breaks as I see sweat coating her body and sobs making her whole body shake. I shake her gently and she doesn't budge. I do it once more and her eyes snap open. When she sees it's me she jumps up and slams me against the wall and I yelp.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Wanda says her voice broken from all the crying and I gulp.

"I-Im sorry I heard you crying-I tried to help you, I felt bad." I stutter out and she chuckles darkly.

"You didn't feel bad when your daddy killed my parents?!" She yells at my face and I feel tears brim in my eyes.

"Wanda I was a k-"

"So was I! He did it, so you're just as much to blame! You're his blood!" She yells and I shake my head, but she pushes me out of the room. " I don't wanna hear anything from you. I will never EVER forgive you or him." She yells with angry tears streaming down her face and I walk out the room crying. I go to Natasha's room and she was peacefully asleep as I silently walked in. I climb into her bed and she flinches sitting up, but soon relaxes when she sees it was me.

"Y/N you're crying. Another nightmare? " She asks caressing my cheek and immediately bringing me up to her chest as she cuddles me.

"I walked by Wanda's room and heard her crying..she was having a nightmare I tried to help her and she pinned me against the wall and yelled at me. She said it was all my fault because I was his kid and that she will never forgive me." I say sobbing and Natasha holds me rocking us softly.

"Y/N don't listen to her. You didn't do anything. You were a kid still in training and you didn't even know what your dad was doing. " She tries to comfort me, but something else was on my heart.

"Natasha I-I think I like her, but she hates me to my core."

"Well shit."Natasha says and I cry some more before eventually falling asleep with Natasha singing some Russian lullabies to me.

After a while I just kept my distance from Wanda not wanting to upset her even more. Even when she had snarky remarks or anything I would just mumble an apology and walk away.

"You two can't keep ignoring each other and fighting every chance you get when you are a team." Furry says and I bow my head down, while Wanda stays silent. "You two are going on a mission together ..bond." Furry says and Wanda chuckles.

"Don't expect me to pull her ass out of trouble, if she gets into it...I'm leaving." Wanda says with Pietro shaking his head. Pietro actually came up to me and said he didn't blame me, but that his sister was just in a different situation..whatever that meant.

It was now the middle of the mission and our comms were messed up by some Hydra technology. We were struggling really hard, but after a while we took care of all Hydra personal, or so we thought. I walk up to Wanda who was trying to get in touch with the team and I see a guy in a suit running straight at her. I push her out of the way and he slams into me, immediately crushing a few bones when his iron suit crashed into my body. I only had a leather suit with some protective gear on it today because I didn't think the mission would require my hard suit. I stand up and go in my fighting stance. He goes to shoot a rocket at Wanda but I quickly use my powers to create an energy shield around her and it bounces off shooting at us launching the both of us a couple of meters away. I feel a burning pain in various parts of my body and I cough from the smoke of the explosion. I stand weakly in front of Wanda again using my powers to create a shield and she slams against it.

"Y/N let me he-" But I don't hear her as the guy slams into me again and I feel a sharp stabbing pain in my side and I use the remaining energy to launch him away with my powers . I fall to my knees but still hold the shield in front of Wanda.

"Quit agent, I will kill you both." He says and I chuckle wiping some blood of my face.

"Get through me first. Starks don't quit." I say getting up again and he aims his rocket launcher at me and I run at him making him fall down on the ground. We roll around in the dirt and my head hits a huge stone leaving a throbbing sensation in my head. I still used my powers to keep Wanda in a shield while I fought with him which was almost impossible, but my instinct was to keep her safe. I have to repay her. It was all my fault. He grabs my throat between his hands and I struggle to push them off grabbing onto his wrists.

"Say hi to the other so called heroes we killed." He says with a grin as I could see his face now since his mask he fell off.

"I will die fighting."I launch him off me using all my body strength and roll onto him. I was hollow and empty, but I knew I had to carry on, even with my breathing becoming more and more ragged and my entire body just wanting to quit and die. I hear Wanda yell my name as she slams against the shield desperately trying to get out. I slam my fists against his face and go to take my knife out of my thigh holster to kill him, but he aims his rocket launcher at both him and me.

"Hail Hydra." He says and I try to use a little of my powers to keep myself safe, but everything goes black quickly as I'm blinded by the explosion and all I could feel was excruciating pain as I lay on the ground not even having the strength to move. I hear footsteps running up to me through the ringing in my ears and I feel warm hands on my cheeks.

"Hey! Hey! Open your eyes please." I hear Wanda beg through sobs and I weakly open my eyes coughing slightly. Even though my eyes were open everything was black as I cough and my lungs rasp I feel a metallic taste in my mouth.

"I-I can't see!" I mumble choking slightly on what I guess is my own blood and taking a weak breath as I panic." Are yo-ou okay?" I mumble taking a weak painful breath after every word and feeling around for Wanda who holds my hand.

"Fuck! I am thanks to you, why the fuck would you do that?! Are you crazy?! I treat you like shit!" Wanda says and presses an emergency button on her comms as I heard and by some miracle it goes through.

"I-I ..crush..on...you." I cough out more blood and my chest was on fire. Wanda's tear filled eyes widen as she caresses my cheek. "It was my f-fault..parents died..I deserve to d-ie protecti-ing you." I say and she shakes her head and I feel the world slipping away from me.

"No...no..I forgave you! I-I did!...Fuck I should have fixed it! Please don't blame yourself. Stay with me..Ill show you I'm not mad. I haven't been in a while.. I just didn't know how to fix everything so I just continued what I was doing." She says and I chuckle, but cry out in pain quickly.

"Don't be nice..becaus-e I'm dying. W-we ran out of time..I'm sorry ...M-maybe in another l-life..we are together..yeah sounds nice." I mumble and close my eyes. I feel my breathing slowing down until all I feel is a harsh metallic taste and it didn't even hurt that bad anymore.

As Y/N stopped breathing Wanda shook her head and wiped her tears with her bloody hands. She ripped off the parts of the suit left on the motionless body.

"You're not fucking dying!" She yells as she looks at the badly wounded body and she puts her hands in position to start reviving the helpless girl. "Stay with me please...please. I never wanted you to be hurt..you can't die now. It's not your time to rest yet..please don't leave me too." Wanda says and then gives mouth to mouth and continues chest compressions as blood pools around them. She hears the team coming in the jet and she continues desperately trying to feel a steady pulse in the weak girl in front of her. Natasha and Tony are the first to run out of the jet and they look at the scene of Wanda crying above Y/N trying to bring her back to life.

"No not my baby!" Tony screams running up to his daughter tears falling down as he cradles her in his arms and Wanda sits on the dirt defeated sobbing.

"Did you do this?!" Natasha yells at Wanda running at her, but Steve holds her back.

"S-she protected..me" Wanda mumbles quietly, while Natasha sobs on Steve's shoulder. Clint runs up to them and takes Y/N away from Tony and into the jet where doctors immediately start trying to revive her. They all haul in and they are soon in the air going as fast as possible to the compound hospital. They use the defibrillator on her and her body jumps up, but no heartbeat shows up. Wanda sobs holding her head in her hands. They try one more time and a faint heartbeat shows up. Wanda's head snaps up as the doctors put in a breathing tube and start putting in an IV with blood. Everything else is a blur as I just spent the ride crying my eyes out.

...

I wake up feeling a weird thing in my mouth and pain all through my body. I open my eyes but I'm unable to see anything even though they were open. I feel on my face for where my eyes were and they were covered by gauzes. I hear the steady sound of the heart monitor and I panic as I'm unable to speak from this thing in my mouth, everything hurts and I can't see because of these damn gauzes. I guess someone was in my room and heard me stirring as the chair scraped against the floor loudly.

"Y/N! You're awake! Okay calm down you have a breathing tube in,I'll get someone to take it out." I recognized the voice as Natasha's and she ran out of the room. I hear her coming soon after with a couple more footsteps following and soon enough I hear a new voice.

"Hi Y/N, I'm your doctor. I'm gonna take out your tube now so we can talk okay?" She asks and I give her a thumbs up. She pulls it out after a lot of discomfort and I take a weak breath with my lungs still on fire.

"W-water." I mumble and I am handed a glass of water which I clumsily drank.

"So Y/N, you were out for three days and to be honest it's a miracle you're still alive. Collapsed right lung wing from the stabbing, four broken ribs, multiple wounds basically not an inch of your body was free of wounds. You had a hard concussion and well the last one is the worst." She says and I listen curiously.

"What, did I like losing a limb? I feel them all...I just can't see because of these gauzes may you please get them off?" I ask in a raspy voice being out of breath just from saying that.

"That's the thing.. I am so sorry to tell you this, but when you came here there was blood and debris all over your face. At the time we thought it was just coming from the skin, but it turns out your eyes were bleeding severely and had been severely hurt during the rocket explosion. The debris ended up going into your eyes causing severe damage to your optic nerve. Meaning you have permanently lost your sight." The doctor says and I chuckle shaking my head.

"No..no I don't believe you. Just take this off and I'll see, you guys are joking ...please you have to be." I say weakly as I tug on the gauzes and the doctor sighs removing them while I hear Natasha sniffle. I feel the gauzes have been removed , but it all stayed dark. I sob and panic feeling around and I hear more footsteps running up to the room. "No please I can't...this can't be real!" I sob louder and I hear my mom cry out.

"Baby it's okay, you're going to be okay!" Pepper says sobbing and holding onto my hand and I feel another hand hold mine which was rougher and I recognized it as my dad's hand.

"Mama I can't see!" I sob ignoring the burning pain in my lungs as it hurt to cry.

..

Wanda listens in front of the room where Y/N was and she slides down the wall crying when she hears the heartbreaking scene inside the room. Her life is forever changed because of a stupid sacrifice.

[shadowqueenjude]

I’m curious bc I don’t know many anti-Azriel people on here. He def gave me the ick in the ACOSF bonus chapter but if he does have growth and we see more of the soft side of his character will you hate his book? I don’t think he “took Lucien’s traits” in HOFAS, he was shown to be really thoughtful in friendships with Nesta in ACOSF. I personally just think he’s a dumbass in relationships, with low self esteem.

But I think he’ll have growth in his book and that’s not necessarily changing his personality or making him watered down Lucien. To me they have similarities but they’re still very different, I guess I’m just curious as to whether you’ll continue to give the books a chance with his book coming up.

Hi! Thanks for the ask! This will be a little bit long so stick with me. I do believe he is exhibiting Lucien characteristics in HOFAS. More evidence: Snarking at the enemies as I mentioned previously: Lucien snarked at Amarantha. This is OOC for Azriel who went straight to choking Eris to death in the High Lord meeting for one comment. Secondly, he refused to sing for Gwyn, his mate, who he often trains with, but he sang for Bryce, a girl who he barely knows and doesn't trust at all? It doesn't make sense. Thirdly, canonically Azriel didn't even hug Feyre after she nearly died. Do you really expect me to believe he'd stroke Nesta like that? Again, Lucien in ACOWAR with Feyre. Azriel with Feyre:

And I don't think the following scenes are just him being an idiot:

I haven't even mentioned his treatment of Mor and Elain. Azriel is 500 years old, he should know better. His actions can't be dismissed as "he's an idiot and sad." Sure, doesn't give you an excuse to act like this. I do think that Azriel and Lucien have similar backstories while having altogether different personalities which contributes to Azriel's jealousy of Lucien: I made a post about this here: https://www.tumblr.com/lorcanisdabest/738004022330621952/azriel-is-jealous-of-lucien?source=share I can't bring myself to read Azriel's book if Lucien doesn't get his HEA first because it really doesn't feel fair. Azriel gets to bitch about not having a mating bond, say whatever he wants about Lucien, nearly choke Eris to death, creep on Elain and Mor, and immediately get his HEA with Gwyn? Lucien has been suffering with this mating bond since ACOMAF. I might read it if it comes after Lucien's book but only if Azriel acknowledges his shitty behavior and the fact that Lucien IS worthy because he has behaved inexcusably towards so many characters. I also don't want him to become sassy all of a sudden. I do believe Gwyn will bring out a different side of him but I always imagined Azriel to kind of be like a darker Lorcan so HOFAS felt like rushed characterization to me. Lorcan, as you can tell from my username, is one of my favorite characters of all time, so Azriel being similar to him is not a bad thing at all; not everyone has to be Lucien. I was actually neutral with Azriel when I finished; he was a nonentity to me. But after reading the bonus chapter and participating in a fandom that ignores all his flaws for so long, I've grown to dislike him. So he has a lot of work to do.

[riverwriter]

20 Questions Game

Thanks for the tag @suzyq31

How many works do you have on AO3? 

27

2. What's your total A03 words count? 

1,044,549

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Only Harry Potter, though I’ve written for others that were never published. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Second Look: Her best friend's life was a mess and she would have done anything to make things better for him and his sons. So, when she found her former enemy in a similar situation her heart went out to him as well... and the beautiful blond baby in his arms didn't hurt his case. It was certainly enough for her to give him a second look.

An Unexpected Malfoy: Once upon a time Hermione Granger literally ran into Draco Malfoy in a bookshop. His mother sees a connection between her son and the muggleborn that she can't ignore and determines to get to know the girl. An imagining of how things could have gone if Hermione had been taken under the wing of the Malfoy family.

A Few New Looks: Glimpses into Draco, Hermione, and Scorpius' life as a family. A sequel to my story, "A Second Look."

The Beginning of Everything: Draco extracted a box from his pocket and flipped it open to reveal the most exquisite ring Hermione had ever seen. She gasped. "No Granger, I meant I literally have a proposal for you," he held her gaze as he spoke. "What do you say? Marry me and help me put one over on the Ministry. I know you're dying to stick it to them." This is a fic which is ostensibly about a marriage law.

Calla: She had been missing for more than ten years. But then she had dark magic cast on her in the Department of Mysteries, and that insidious curse did more than just injure her physically. It revealed a secret, a truth. Hermione Granger could finally be recognized as the girl she’d been at birth: Calliope Nott.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try, but not always. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think anything I’ve written would qualify. I”m all about the HEA.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Haha, see above. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yep, it seems to be, unfortunately, part and parcel to posting things on the internet. 

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. I was very shy about it at first. I think I’ve relaxed but it’s still not a major aspect of my fics. (Just not my style.) 

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? 

I don’t. I’ll never say never but the closest I’ve ever come is “The Other Side” which is heavily influenced by the TV show “Fringe.” 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I’ve had fics posted on other sites without my permission, but as far as I’m aware, nobody has ever taken credit for my work. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

People have started but never finished. It’s one reason I have stopped granting permission for translations. 

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? 

Haha yes, unfortunately my cowriter and I live too far away from each other that we couldn’t make it work. It’s been years but we still talk about trying to figure out how to finish it. (fingers crossed)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? 

I spend most of my free time writing Dramione so I suppose that’s the answer. But I love so many ships, even outside of the HP fandom. 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Yeah, I refuse to admit that will happen. Unless you count “Various and Sundry” because-by its nature- it has no beginning and no end. 

I16. What are your writing strengths?

When I get going I am very plugged in. I occasionally wake up and scribble a thought down so I don’t lose it. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. And I stupidly wrote a huge fic that concludes in a…battle. If any of you wonder what I’ve been doing for years, it’s been figuring out my own brain. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’m not a fan. Also not a fan of writing out an accent. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bones. But I was never brave enough to post any of those fics. 

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

“An Unexpected Malfoy” It’s my baby and probably always will be.

This part gives me anxiety, because I never know who to tag, so anybody who wants to participate, please do! (And if you want to tag me, do that as well, because I’d love to read your responses) 

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

9-1-1 WATCH AND REACTION

S8 ep 1-4

Oh GERARD NOOOOOO

But eddies mustache thooooo. Damn. Eddies being yelled at for fruit leather?????

Bobby on this set with the 119 I’m CRYING

Killer bees???? SURE

Random bee knowledge is coming in handy SO MUCH rn go buck!

Awwww birthday party for chris :( yall wait it’s been tjeee Months and chris STILL won’t talk to Eddie????? Cmon??? Screw the parents for not helping I’m so angry

EDDIE RUNNING AROUND IM CRYINF

Okay who wants this guy dead??? Who even knows about this guy this is so weird

Heading bucks inner monologue then hearing eddies voice come through?? THE BUCK TACKLING GERARD JELLO?? BUT SAVING HIM??

another plane disaster???? Wasn’t the one in season 1 scary enough??? I can’t keep having plane trauma

Ep 2

AHHHHHH DANCE PARTY Buck looks HARROWED

Brad and Bobby I am CRYING

Over the phone triage is surprisingly super good! And buck just trying to get Bobby

BLESS JEM. HES DOING IT

what’s with these guys in SUITS? What is there issue. Who are they protecting

Bobby stealing a fire truck?>>>>>>> best comment all episode. Of course Athena is flying the plane what else would she be doing

OH OD COURAE HEA HAVING A HEART ATTACK

Ep 3

Can I just say. We have never seen nonstop cpr before

BUCKS LINE ABOUT NOT KNOWING HE WAS BRITISH ABHHHHHH I LOVE when shows do that

I’m honestly loving watching ATC work. We never see this dynamic and it is fascinating

The visualization of all the engines ready at the airport was HAUNTING. Spectacular shot

Bobby staring at Buck like he’s SHOCKED Buck can ride a motorcycle??? This is Buck 1.0 energy baby of COURSE he can ride a motorcycle. How the hell did buck stop those cars geez Louise

My gosh Athena is really out here landing the plane with an asst from jem

AINT NO WAY THEY LAND WITH BOBBY RIGHT THERE LMAOOOOOOO CMON RHAR SHOR IS FUNNY

of COURSE the plane blows up like?

Nobody questioning Bobby as commander that’s RIGHT

Buck ran so fast to get Bobby he doesn’t even have turnouts

A literal black book with printed QR codes is FUNNY im SORRY

DENNIS SAVED BOBBY OG YM GOSH

Athena and Dennis. Kinda reconciling? Kinda Athena moving past anger is so beautiful

AHHHH????? NOT GERARD TAKINF BUCK UNDER WING. EVERYONE IS SO CNFJAED. BUXK LOOKS SO SCARED

Ep 4

Gerard taking Buck golfing??? This has to be some of the most confusing daddy issue for Buck. Men in authority in his life I am HOLLERING

Chim correcting Gerard will never not be funny. Gerard thinking buck was the most subordinate when Chim was RIGHT THERE

Body cams. For. Firefighters. SURE. Not Jen’s fault that kid refused care!!

HORRIFYING INJURY MY GOSH??? But love to see Eddie being paramedic and taking lead!!

Quick q! Um. Did we ever establish who set their house on fire????? And ummmmmmm???? You’re gonna build on the same place???? That actual Arson took place??? We are gonna skip that???

My heart hurts and my skin is CRAWLING with the councilwoman storyline bc that’s genuinely real. People in power can just do that

YES I LOVE THIS SCENE WITH FHE MANT XONVERSATIONS BECOMIJNF ONE I MISSED THIS

A tiger. A TIGER. Guys this has early seasons energy and I MISSED THIS more weird calls!!

Okay Chim with the shot WOOO

Gerard being a fan of hotshots was not something I was expecting

Eddie having a heart to heart with Wes’s dad PLEASE GO GET YOUR SON EDDIE. YOU CAN BRING HIM HOME. YOU CAN. ITS BEEN MONTHS PLEASEE

TELL EM HEN. THIS ISNT FAIR.

OOOHGG SHE WAS RECORDED AHHHHHH AHHHHHH YYEEAAAHHHHHH GERARD WAS IN LM IT AHHHHHHH AHHHHH YEAAAHHH

Eddie went to help Wes :) GO GET CHRIS EDDIE CMON

Okay so I guess they are rebuilding and we are forgetting about arson.

Gerard so belongs at hotshots I’m. Funnily enough so happy for him and this role