#hell is other people but I can’t find heaven with out them

[headphone-cat]

.

[caelivir]

“are ya sure yer not dating (y/n)?” osamu suddenly asks his brother during a quiet lunch between the two of them.

atsumu chokes on the grains of rice in his mouth, coughing violently and punching his chest. when he finally settles down, he throws a glare at his brother. “what the hell, ‘samu?”

“that’s not an answer.” osamu continues to press.

“we’re not!” atsumu answers, picking up a piece of chicken katsu with his chopsticks. “i don’t like them like that. they don’t like me like that. we’re just friends.”

the bright red-pink of his ears speak otherwise. you see, osamu knows his twin better than he knows himself. he knows that whatever comes out of atsumu’s mouth is a load of crap. just friends? yeah fucking right.

osamu has never seen his brother look at anyone the way he looks at you, starlight and pure adoration swirling in his irises. he acts as if your every word were an earth-shaking prophecy sent by the heavens. his honey brown eyes stare, and he smiles so gently that it makes him sick.

friends aren’t touchy in the way you guys are. you hold each other’s hand like it’s nothing. with interlocked fingers, atsumu will trace his thumb down the back of your hand for no apparent reason. when you’re bored, you’ll take atsumu’s hand into your lap and play with it, bending his fingers, comparing hand sizes, and running a featherlight touch across the expanse of his palm to see if he’ll react.

osamu notices how you never miss the opportunity to find a seat on his brother’s lap. whether there are no seats of available or ten open ones, you will always choose atsumu. and it’s not like he’s complaining about it. in fact, osamu thinks that he waits for it because atsumu would never want to miss the chance to secure his arms around your waist and whisper into your ear amidst a loud conversation.

and you can’t forget the cuddles, and the hugs that linger longer than they should, and the way you’ll cup atsumu’s face, and the way you play with his piss blond hair.

you’re the one person atsumu lets wear his jersey to his game. he ensures you get the best seat to watch him play. osamu doesn’t miss the way his twin looks at you before every serve or the way you cheer the loudest when he scores an ace.

osamu doesn’t think that someone who “doesn’t like you” would be thinking about you every time they shop. “(y/n) likes this snack”. “(y/n) would love this shirt”. “oh hey, (y/n) showed me this”. “‘samu, should i buy this for (y/n)?”.

osamu has never seen two people so madly in love before. he doesn’t know how you guys haven’t realized it yet. and he can’t keep playing along because atsumu’s katsu looks really good right now.

“right…” osamu chooses to answer, dipping his chicken into the tonkatsu sauce. “i sure hope they’re gonna have fun on that date they have today.”

his brother’s chopsticks clatter onto the table before rolling onto the floor. the sight of atsumu’s open mouth filled with rice is unsightly, and osamu has to suppress his laugh.

“they didn’t tell you?” osamu raises an eyebrow.

“no?!” atsumu suddenly stands, slamming his palms into the table.

“yeah, i think they’re gonna leave soon.” osamu lies easily. there is no date. but of course, does ‘tsumu really need to know that?

the blond twin practically bolts away from the dining table and out of the house. when the door slams shut, osamu grins to himself, reaching for the unfinished plate in front of him.

“he can thank me later.”

atsumu brainrot never ends. something short and sweet bc school is kicking my ass.

[jyoongim]

Can I request and Alastor x reader where she was his wife when they were alive but she ends up in heaven while in her early 20’s due to being murdered on her way home from his radio station one night. She never knew about Alastor’s crimes but she finds out about the extermination at the meeting Charlie has with heaven and sneaks down during the next extermination not knowing if Alastor is still alive or not? Maybe some magic like reader singing No Good Deed from Wicked trying to prevent Alastor from being harmed or killed? Once they find each other I can’t imagine Alastor ever letting her leave again, not even to heaven. Can I request a bit of fluff and maybe NSFW to make up for the time spent apart? Thank you!

Title: Ruined Redemption 

Warnings: 18+! NSFW, angel!wife Reader, fem!reader, reader & Alastor married, mention of past life, mention of death, demon!alastor, fluff, creampie, rough sex, French, Heaven & Hell, am i missing something????

”You sure you dont want me to walk you home cher? I can wrap up right now” Alastor said as you pressed your soft lips to his cheek. You reassured him you would be fine. That you were perfectly capable of getting home without him escorting you.  “No no ill be fine promise. Just dont stay too late hmm? I would love to have my husband in our bed for once when the sun ain’t risin’” you said, glaring at him playfully. 

He chuckled, nodding ”Be careful on your way home cher, it ain’t safe for a doll like yourself to be roamin’ the streets at this time of night” Alastor said as you waved goodbye.

“I love you”

The stars twinkled in the sky as you stared up at them.

You blinked, raising a weak hand up to them.

 Blood.

You were bleeding. 

You had took a shortcut to get home and a man had grabbed you into a dark alleyway.

He tried to take advantage of you but you resisted, angry that you wouldn’t be a easy target he slit your throat so you wouldn’t cry out, leaving you to bleed out onto the cold concrete.

Your wedding ring shined at you. You let out a gurgle,

Alastor…

You use to think that people were lyin’ when they said your life flashed when times of death, but tears welled in your eyes as every memory of you and Alastor came to your mind.

The night you met Alastor was the last one you saw as you heaved your last breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

”Did you forget Hell is forever?”

You sat at the council meeting as the princess of Hell tried to reason with Sera. You were saddened that the Angels went down and executed the soul of the damned.

You thought the idea of rehabilitating souls was a good idea. 

You had waited years to see Alastor, but you quickly became concerned when each year he didn’t pass through those pearly gates.

Alastor was in Hell. At least you had hoped. 

You heard that the next extermination was soon and you plotted to descend to Hell to find your lost lover.

Alastor please be okay 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hell wasn’t as bad as you thought. 

You quickly found the hotel the princess hosted and knocked on the door.

”Oh why hello- wait you’re-” Charlie stuttered.

You gave her a smile. You must have looked ridiculous, an Angel at her door and with the extermination approaching.

”D-Do you know Alastor?” You asked, almost pleading that you hoped your lover was at her hotel.

She blinked and nodded, letting you inside.

”I thought your idea was bees knees by the way”you said as she ushered you to sit on a couch.

”W-Why thank you! But…how do you know Alastor?” She asked.

You fiddled with your ring. “Well you see I’m his-”

”Darlin’? ” a voice interrupted you.

You almost broke your neck turning around. You let out a gasp “A-Alastor?”

A tall red demon stood in the archway.

He was dressed in all red, save for the few black accents.

His face dawned shocked, though his smile never faltered. But you saw it was tense.

You stood up and approached him.

Theres no way this was your Alastor…

You subconsciously reached a hand to his face “A-Alastor…is it really you?”

He leaned into your touch, grasping your wrist softly

”Mon cher…”

Your eyes welled with tears and you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as you buried your face in his chest.

Still in shock, Alastor wrapped his lanky arms around you.

Whiskey and sandalwood. That was the scent that flooded your nose, same scent that always clung to him.

”I t-thought i would never see you again” you cried.

”what are you doing here?” You asked

He smiled “I should be askin you the same thing. A pretty thing like you shouldn’t be down here”

You didn’t even realize that an audience had gathered.

”what’s white wings doing down here?”

You eased your grip on him, actually taking him in.

He looked nothing like your Alastor, but you knew it was him.

”Oh baby what could you have done to land yourself in hell?” You asked.

The tall spider gave a laugh “Freaky face there is one of hell’s most powerful Overlords toots”

Alastor glared at him before looking down at you “Its a rather unpleasant story my dear, but I guess I should tell you now”

And tell you he did.

You wouldn’t have thought that your Alastor was the one who had once terrorized your city.

Your husband was…You had married a killer.

”regret marrying me doll?”he asked at your shocked face.

You shook your head “Never” you gave him a smile “But you’re at a hotel that promotes soul redemption?”

He laughed “Just a little investment of mine to pass the time. I have no notion to redeem my soul”

This caused you to panic “B-but the extermination!”

He caressed your cheek “Don’t worry about that, I wont let anything happen”

You huffed, deciding to trust him “Well aren’t you gonna introduce me?” You asked turning to give your full attention to the bunch.

”Why of course! Everyone this pretty doll is my darling wife” he beamed

”WIFE!?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alastor took you on a tour of the hotel. You walked, arms interlocked as he showed you around.

You laughed when he brought you to his radio tower “Just couldn’t let it go huh?” You had said, earning a laugh.

He led you to his bedroom. You marveled at how it suited him. There was a swamp that split up the room.

A true southern man you sighed.

You sat on his bed, taking it all in.

Alastor couldn’t believe that you were here.

He thought that he would never see you again.

He had figured that you were in Heaven after a few decades.

You were his sweet little wife. You were the only good thing in his life.

He absolutely lost his mind when he was told you were killed on your way home.

He should have walked you home.

Your death weighed on him for decades. Even in death.

But here you were.

You hadn’t changed a day. Well the wings and halo were new.

”Mon cher…” He approached you, voice dropping the static and kneeled before you. 

You were real and you were here.

His arms wrapped around your waist as he laid his head on your lap.

Your hands found his hair, massaging his scalp. You tickled at his ears and giggled when they twitched.

”je suis désolé mon amour. je suis tellement désolé que tu aies connu un sort aussi cruel. si j'étais juste rentré à la maison avec toi... je suis vraiment désolé” his heart was pounding as he nuzzled into your stomach.

You smiled at his words. You cupped his cheeks, lifting his face to yours “it wasn’t your fault Al. Things happen. All that matters is that we are together again. ‘Ill defy death itself to be with you," were our vows remember?”

Alastor moved quickly. He gently pushed you onto your back as he climbed over you.

”tell me…tell me our vows again”

He tugged at his bow tie and stripped off his jacket, you retracted your wings as you watched him

”A-Al?” You whispered, suddenly breathless.

”please…tell me our wedding vows”

”From the moment our paths crossed, it was always you.

It was the moment we met that I saw everything. 

Our future.” 

He unbuttoned his dress shirt.

“You were everything i ever dreamed of and became so much more. 

I love you.”

He leaned down to kiss you

“Heaven and Earth cannot compare to how much I love you. 

Through the good and bad, Ill always love you.

 I give my heart and soul to you to cherish for an eternity ”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he peppered wet kisses along your neck

”Ill reap the Earth to and tear the Heavens apart to remain bound to you”

You gasped as he nipped your shoulder

”This love I give can never die. For Ill defy death itself to forever be with you.”

he buttoned your shirt, brushing a thumb over your nipples. A shiver ran through you.

”For death itself could never part us. 

I am yours forever and always and ill raise Hell if death tried to part us ”

You moaned softly as he took a nipple into his mouth.

“Alastor…”

The rest of your clothing was quickly removed.

You almost wanted to cover yourself.

When was the last time you were intimate with Alastor?

You felt like you were on your wedding night all over again.

”You’re as beautiful as when you were alive my dear”. He whispered, spreading your thighs.

You jumped feeling his hand skim your exposed clit.

You were embarrassed with how wet you were.

he still had that effect on you, even in the afterlife.

Your breath hitched as he dipped a finger inside you

Alastor groaned, you felt just as you did before.

You pulled him to your face, your face flushed and eyes lidded. Your soft lips met his as he worked your cunt.

”Alastor please” you whined against his lips.

You were always such an impatient thing.

But he would never deny you.

He growled ”If I fuck you Ill never let you go. You’ll never see those pearly gates again if you let me have you. So tell me you don’t want this, you don’t want me and Ill stop” he shimmied out of his pant, freeing his cock.

Alastor was lying. Even if you told him to stop and you didn’t want this he would never let you go back to Heaven.

Not when he just got you back.

Your lips met his again, the kiss was filled with longing and passion.

”I never want to be without you again”

He slammed his lips on yours again as he slid his cock into you, swallowing your squeal as you took him.

Fuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkk

He gave a few soft thrusts to make sure you adjusted well to him.

You panted into the crook of his neck. Nails clawing into his back as he rocked into you.

A cry ripped from your throat as he gained momentum.

”Aahh!”

This was different. So different from when you were alive.

Alastor was always passionate in bed with you, but this…this was so…you couldn’t even describe it.

a word popped into your head.

Divine

The way he fucked you told of how much he had missed you. 

Decades of being apart melting away as he pounded into you.

You locked your ankles behind his waist.

”You always take me so good cher. So so so good” He moaned into your ear.

The sound of skin hitting skin and your soft moans filled the air.

His cock hit that soft sweet spot inside you making you wetter.

”Ill ruin you. Fuck you til you’re drenched in me. Until your very scent is covered in me.” a harsh thrust brought him to be buried to the hilt.

Alastor smirked as your cunt fluttered

”You want that doll? To be ruined? To never see Heaven again? Hmmm you’ll throw away your salivation to be fucked by a demon like me?”

The telltale squelch of your cunt was his answer.

He would be damned if he ever let you out of his sight again.

His pace turned rough, he could feel himself changing.

”Alastor?” You felt him get bigger. His body morphed and when you looked at him, he expected fear.

But you looked in awe as he turned into his demon form.

Antlers big as willow branches, eyes black and glowing red like dials. He was disheveled.

He looked like a wild beast.

And he was fucking you like one.

All you could do was hang onto him. Letting him take you like you would disappear.

”ooh fuck aaahh please please” you cried as he fucked you, rutting into you with so much force you swear the bed was knocking against the wall.

You  felt your thighs tremble from taking his brute thrusts. That familiar tingle forming in your stomach.

were you gonna cum? Could you cum?

guess you’ll find out

Your demon husband was fucking you and you were gonna cum.

on his demon cock…oh heavens…

”Tu vas jouir, chérie ? Tu vas laisser un démon t'arracher ta libération ? Vous voulez que? hmmm? Tu veux jouir sur la bite de ton démon ? laisse-moi l'avoir chérie”

He purred, fucking into you so hard that a slight bulge was present.

He was going to break you. Ruin you.

He unhooked your legs, pushing one to your chest to get a better angle. Hitting those spots that had you seeing stars.

”A-Al! Oooh fu-fuuuck! I-I’m cumming oh my g-”

A large claw hand covered your lips

He snarled “There’s no God here sweetheart. Now. Cum”

Your body seized, feeling like a fire had set off as your organ ripped through you.

Alastor slapped his mouth over yours to eat your cries.

He thrusted into feverishly, seeking to paint your heavenly walls white with his cum as he fucked you through your orgasm.

”that’s a good girl, milking me dry”

He gently cradled your limp head, nipping at your swollen lips “where you want me cher? Cause i got half a mind to soak you in my cum”

You whined “i-inside…please cum inside me Alastor…baby please!”

He grinned “As you wish”

His pace quickened and with a low growl he emptied his cum into your cunt, sighing as he filled you til it spilled around him.

You let out a soft whine as he pulled out, wincing at the emptiness that he left behind, feeling his cum drip down your ass.

Alastor purred like an engine as he took you into his arms, basking in the afterglow as you cuddled into his side.

This is where you belonged.

By his side.

He’ll tear Heaven apart if they tried to take you back.

You were the Radio Demon’s.

Forever and always

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[lqveharrington]

Nothing Left to Lose | L.M.

summary: You and Lucifer have an argument about the exterminations that happen in Hell, and it just so happens your daughter heard you through the crack of the doorway.

pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Wife!reader

includes: ANGST, couples arguing, charlie basically being the family’s mediator and glue, some fluff, (let me know if i missed any!)

a/n: i’m on a hazbin streak omg 💁‍♀️

“Lucifer, stop!”

You were in a fight for what seemed like the nth time in a month. It had been exactly 3,500 years since you and Lucifer were cast out of Heaven to rule over the hellborne and sinners. This kept your patience thin the entire month. Especially with Lucifer pushing and pushing for a better way to have sinners saved from exterminations and sending them to Heaven completely broke you.

“Just stop.” You lean against the railing of your balcony, hands gripping on the metal. “Heaven won’t listen to us—“

“They will if we just ask for a meeting.” He ran his fingers through his ruffled hair, growing frustrated at your unwavering discouragement. “We’ve done this before. They listened and—“

“LOOK WHERE THAT GOT US!” You throw your hand up in frustration, eyes flashing crimson for one second. “They cast us away for caring for the human souls on Earth! What are they going to do to us when we send sinners up to Heaven?”

“I don’t know!” Lucifer let his horns poke out, tail whipping violently. “I don’t know, but if we don’t try—“

“Mom?” A quiet voice came through the yelling match you and Lucifer started, making you both turn to the door. “Are you okay?”

You rub your temple before stepping away from the balcony, not sparing a glance at your beloved. “I’m fine, baby. Your dad and I are just talking.” You take her in your arms, running your fingers through her blonde locks.

She looked back at her father, watching him sigh before his horns and tail disappeared. “Is Dad okay?”

“I’m fine, apple pie.” He kissed her forehead, making her giggle at the feeling. “Can you let us have a few more minutes? We’ll come find you when we’re done.”

“Okay.” Charlie gave you both curious looks, not realizing the tense situation she walked in on.

You press a kiss to her temple, “Wait in your room, baby.”

Charlie silently left as you stood from your previous position. You moved back to the balcony, messing with the wedding ring on your finger as the wind blew roughly on your skin.

“My love, we have nothing left to lose if we take this risk and ask for our people to be redeemed instead of letting them die again.” Lucifer took your hands in his, speaking softly this time.

Your crimson and gold eyes meet his, “We risk Charlie, Lucifer. What if they take her away from us?” You shut your eyes, hiding the red sky from your sight. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to go up there and face the Heavens when my daughter is hellborne. What if the exterminations keep happening even if they accept your proposal? They might target us—“

“I signed the papers, they know they can’t touch the hellborne or our family.” He squeezed your hands. “Just—“ Lucifer let his head fall on your shoulder. “Let me try. If it doesn’t work, we’ll come up with another solution.”

“Luce…” You murmur, blinking back the tears from the fear of losing your family. “I can’t lose you or Charlie.”

“And you won’t!” He cupped your face, frowning at your words. “You will never lose us. I promise, beautiful…” He rubbed your cheek, “I know you hate the Heavens for casting us here. I know you hate being here. But these souls are our people. We have a duty to protect them.”

“Lucifer…” You sigh and hold his hands in yours. “You need to listen to my reasoning. What if the Heavens refuse to do this and make the exterminations worse than they already are? We can’t know what they might do to our people! To our daughter!”

Lucifer removes his hands from you, “Can you just listen to me?” He walks toward the other end of the balcony, leaning against the railing. “This is a situation where we never know what’s going to happen. It might be good, it might make things worse. But we can’t know unless we try.”

You watch him run his fingers through his disheveled hair, knitting your brows at his actions. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He nods slowly, looking up at you. “I can do it?”

You nod, wringing your hands together. “I trust you… If you say we’ll be okay then… You can go through with your plans.”

“Thank you, my love.” He took long strides over to you and scooped you up in his arms, peppering kisses over your face. “Thank you.”

“Mhm.” You smile and thread your fingers in his hair, “Let’s go find Charlie, darling.”

“Our caring little girl.” He nudged your cheek with his nose. “Who might be as strong-willed as her mother.”

“Hush.” You press a soft kiss to his lips.

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[hells-wasabii]

here’s a thing you could try doing (if you want to) the Hazbin hotel gang with seraphim child reader who somehow appeared in hell after the ep 8 battle.

the gang now has to look and protect this child since others could use them for their own means with the power the kid has and for some reason they can’t go to heaven… almost like they have a purpose here in hell

A/N: This is probably going to get a part 2, I'm a little invested in where this could go! It's probably gonna get turned into a little series with a plot.

With a child seraphim i really don't see one knowing what hell even is yet. Sure, they would tell them about it, but definitely wouldn't know what it is. Or alcohol, or curse words or anything vulgar really. I hope you enjoy!

Character: General

Type: Fic (Nonromantic, Plot-centric,Hotel staff/residents with seraphim child!reader, General)

It was an honest mistake. You really hadn't meant to, but Emily and Sera were starting to argue again, something that had been happening often since that nice Charlie girl you had met at the zoo came and gone. So you had snuck away. You hated when they argued, they were your family. Family shouldn't fight, ever, you had decided early on.

Curious, you continue on towards the portal. You investigated, peering through to see a strange place bathed in red, you saw a broken building, something that reminded you of something one your brothers had shown you from the human world. War, you thought it was called. Something horrible that humans thought up to hurt each other.

You hated when people were hurt. You wanted to get closer and help anyone who might be hurt, even if your powers hadn't fully come in yet.

Then an idea came to your mind! You could ask your brothers to help! They would know exactly what to do! With this in mind, you attempted to return back through the portal, only to be pushed back by some invisible force.

Wait... What? Why wouldn't it let you back in?

Then it happened. You were still a young Seraphim, your wings weren't super strong yet, and as you peered down at the red place your wings gave out. Luckily, your brothers and sisters had trained you in case something like that happened! You were able to slow your descent, at least enough for it not to hurt when you finally landed.

So you started to make your way to the pretty, large building on the hill with a sign that read Hazbin Hotel. Though the building didn't seem quite finished yet, it was still really pretty. Odd, hadn't it just been all broken?

As you pushed your way in through the heavy doors, you saw three people over at a tall counter: A cat man with wings cleaning a really small glass, an angel, but she didn't have her wings out, and- Oh no! She seemed to have misplaced her halo, too! That wasn't good! And a pretty pink and white spider-man that was sipping on a pretty looking juice

The pretty spider-man looked over at you and did a spit-take, nearly choking on his juice.

"What the fuck is a kid doing here?" He exclaimed, gesturing at you, fuck? What kind of word was that? No one had taught it to you, and you couldn't remember any of your fellow Seraphim using such a word, either. This seemed to get the other two's attention as they turned to look at you, shocked expressions on their faces.

"What does 'fuck' mean?" You asked, head tilted in confusion looking between each of the strangers. The pretty spider-man looked like he was going to start laughing but the angel next to him hit him hard in the shoulder, only serving to confuse you more.

"Charlie!" Excited, you ran forward, using your wings to jump higher than you would have otherwise, right into her arms. The blonde non-angel caught you with ease.

The princess of hell's eyes widened looking up to find her companions looking just as confused and shocked as she felt.

This wasn't good, not one bit.

[queenofmistresses]

Adam’s third wife

A/N hi guys! First hazbin hotel fic, I did a vote and many of you chose Adam x reader so here we go! Let me know what you think and I’ll be able to do a part 2!!

There was a knock on the hotel door and Charlie excitedly rushed to answer it- there had been more and more sinners coming to the hotel wanting to try redemption ever since the last extermination, and she was excited to meet the next one! The last thing she was expecting however was this, Adam (first man, original dick, remember him?) standing at the door looking like he hadn’t slept or eaten in a week. He probably hadn’t. He looks panicked, he looks scared.

“Charlie sweetie is everything okay? Do you need any-“ Lucifer walks over to the door where they’re standing and sees why Charlie isn’t excitedly touring the hotel, and his eyes begin to turn red, clearly angry.

“Please.” Adam says, out of breath and looking like a guinea pig standing in the middle of a busy road. “You have to help me find her.” He begs. Lucifers eyes widen and go back to their usual colour, and Charlie looks down at her dad in confusion.

“What makes you think I know where she is? And if I did, why in hell, would she want to see you?” Lucifer responds, the picture of composure now he knows why Adam is here.

“Please. I know she hates me. But she’s all I have left.” Charlie is still looking down at Lucifer confused, silently asking what is going on.

Lucifer rolls his eyes. “So once again she’s a last resort, I see. You didn’t deserve her then and you certainly don’t deserve her now.” Lucifer begins to shut the door before Adam presses his foot in the way.

“I know. I’ve regretted it all since she left but how can I fix it if I can’t even find her?” Lucifer still looks like his mind is made up but Charlie looks at Adam, at his sad and helpless face and can’t help but pity him.

“Dad help him, that’s what the hotel’s for, right? What if he can change?” Lucifer looks up at his daughter and sees how much hope is in her eyes, “If he’s come back as a sinner he’s one of our people now right?” She points out.

He looks over at Adam again who is looking just as pitiful as before. “Fine, you can come inside and I’ll help you.” Lucifer begins to open the door, “but if you try to hurt anyone in here, you’re out okay? This is your only chance.” Adam nods violently, swearing he won’t hurt anyone and walks in behind Lucifer and Charlie.

Lucifer tells him to stay in the lobby while he deals with ‘something’, leaving him in the hands of Charlie and every other person he saw at the extermination. Shit. “So who are you trying to find?” Charlie asks, grinning up at him as Vaggie walks over, wrapping her arm around Charlie’s waist protectively. At Charlie’s question she looks up at Adam, seeing his nervous face and smirks.

“Really? You think she’ll want to see you?” Charlie looks at her and her mouth drops, clearly hating the fact that 2 people know something she doesn’t.

“No. But I have to try right?” Adam mutters out, embarrassed.

“Vaggiee tell meee.” Charlie begs and Vaggie throws her a playful eye roll and smile.

“Adam’s on the hunt for his ex.” She says smugly, making Adams cheeks heat up. Charlie looks even more confused.

“Eve?” She asks, to which Vaggie shakes her head. “Well surely it’s not my mother, no one seems to know where she is, so my dad couldn’t help.” She thinks out loud. “He has another ex?”

Vaggie nods affectionately and god does Adam want to leave, he’s been alone too long to watch this. “They didn’t meet til he died, she’s heaven born, but she fell.”

Now he wants to leave even more, he can feel Vaggie glaring daggers into the side of his head, he can’t look at them, ashamed. “What happened?” Charlie asks softly, and Vaggie sighs sadly.

“That’s her story to tell, and his I suppose but he’d never admit what really happened. You should ask her when your dad speaks to her.”

Things feel awkward after that, everyone in the lobby had clearly heard the conversation and he felt ashamed. Mostly about what he had done all those years ago. He thought about it often, he thought about trying to find her in the exterminations but couldn’t bring himself to it. He didn’t want to see the pain on her face again. He couldn’t bear it.

Lucifer came back and walked over to them, and Adam looked at him with the smallest glimmer of hope. “I can take you to her. She might not want to see you, in fact I would say it’s more than likely she doesn’t but I can take you there.”

“Thank you.” Adam breaths, he can’t believe he’s thanking Lucifer, the devil. But if it means he can see her again, he would do almost anything.

Lucifer takes them to his castle, and Adam feels a pang in his chest at the idea that she’d stay with him, but he wasn’t surprised. They had been friends before he fell, so it was only natural that she went to him for help. Charlie seems confused about being her, which Adam thinks is extremely interesting but can’t bring himself to dwell on it when she was right on the other side of those doors.

They all walked into the empty looking place and Lucifer snapped his fingers turning the lights on, to a dull light, muttering at how ‘she’ doesn’t like it bright. Adam remembers that about her.

Lucifer calls out her name loudly, announcing he’s back. “Lucifer! Hi! I’ll be down in just a moment, what’s the surprise you texted about??” A voice yells back. Adam, Charlie and Vaggie all shoot Lucifer a look, why had he said he had a surprise?

“It’s down here, come and see!” He yelled back before muttering, “don’t get too excited…”

“What was that last bit?” She yelled again before she appeared at the top of the stairs. And then she froze, staring at Adam. “Well that’s a crap surprise.” She deadpans, making Vaggie and Lucifer have to stifle their laughter back. “I was expecting a new duck.” She raises an eyebrow towards Lucifer as she walks down the stairs.

“I didn’t say it was a good surprise.” Lucifer tries to save himself as y/n gives him a look telling him to shut up.

“You must be Charlie.” Y/n smiles walking up to her and shaking her hand. “Your dad talks about you a lot.” She whispers and winks at Charlie.

Y/n immediately draws away and pulls Vaggie into a tight hug. “It’s been too long,” she says as she pulls away, “though I have to say I was sad when I found out you’d been banished here too.”

Vaggie smiles softly, “It’s okay, I found something better then anything up there.” She indicates towards Charlie with a soft smile, making Charlie visibly melt. Y/n smiles in complete understanding and steps back as Charlie pulls Vaggie into a hug and clutches onto her.

Then she approaches Adam and her smile drops suddenly. “Hello Adam.” He looks shocked for a moment before remembering he’s being spoken to and stumbles over his words, bringing a hand to scratch the back of his neck.

“I- er, um, hi y/n.” He finally settles with, looking sheepish. “Ho- how are you?” He asks quietly. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m fine. Clearly better than you.” She looks up and down is figure, and brings a hand up to his hair to take out a stray twig caught in the mess. Adam watches her every movement with complete awe, looking surprised she’s touching him. “Why are you here?”

“I don’t…” He starts, then seems to rethink. “I needed to see you.” She scoffs and looks away rolling her eyes.

“7 years later? You do remember why I’m here right?” He nods and averts his eyes again, looking at the floor.

“I’m sorry.” He says which leaves her stunned. Her eyes widen and she looks over at Lucifer as if to check she hadn’t imagined it to happen. “I didn’t mean for it to happen the way it did. I didn’t know Sera would-“ he sighs. “I made a mistake.”

“That’s an understatement.” To that Adam nods, not saying anything. “So what? You wanted to say hi? You’ve done that now.”

“I wanted to know you’re okay. I know you hate me and I deserve it but I’ve wanted to find you everytime I’ve been here since it happened, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. But, you’re okay?” She nods. “Good, I’ll um… I’ll go.”

He turns away, starting to walk away when she sighs, “Wait.” She says and he stops turning back towards her, looking confused. “You won’t survive out there, you look like you’ve been sleeping in the streets since you arrived. If it’s fine with Lucifer you can stay here tonight and I’ll find you someone to stay. Somewhere else. Away from me.”

“You’re sure?” He says, eyes wide with hope. She looks over at Lucifer who nods at her and she looks back at Adam and nods. “Thank you.” He smiles nervously.

[bitethedevil]

Raphael and his Morals: The Analysis Where I Sound Like A Devil Apologist

I see Raphael being characterized as a selfish power-hungry character a lot. And I mean, he definitely is! Don’t get me wrong. I just also think there are more layers to that, so I want to make a little analysis on the deeper level of what kind of rationalization goes through his head when it comes to the whole tadpole business and the Crown of Karsus.  

The Pact Primeval

I think that the Pact Primeval is pretty important to understand when it comes to a general understanding of devils. There are multiple versions of this tale, though the one I will go through is the one that the devils tell each other (you can find all of this in Fiendish Codex II).

So basically, in the beginning of everything there was chaos. Out of that chaos came the demons. Lawful deities began to fight that chaos but eventually they got tired of it because there was seemingly an endless supply of demons. The deities couldn’t be bothered anymore because they wanted to make the world and it’s creatures and all of that instead. They then created angels and were like “cool, you go kill all the demons while we have fun making the world”.

One of those angels was Asmodeus. He was described as both beautiful and fierce, and he was amazing at what he did. The trouble was that the more the angels fought the demons, the more traits they came to share with them to fight them more efficiently. They turned ugly and twisted too because the demons they fought were so.

The deities then saw how they had changed, and all said “ew” in unison and said that they did not want those twisted beings living anywhere near them. They tried to banish Asmodeus and the other angels from the Heavens.

Asmodeus was not having that (and understandably so imo). There came a trial and Asmodeus essentially pointed out that “hey, I actually just did what I was made for, and I did it pretty damn well too. We’ve only dirtied our hands so yours can stay clean. If we are to be lawful beings, then this charge is absolutely bullshit”. Asmodeus could “wield the law like a knife” and the deities had to admit that what he was saying was right, so they couldn’t do much.

Eventually, the deities had made intelligent beings and to protect these beings, they made barriers between them and the demons. To their horror, the deities saw that some of the intelligent beings they had so carefully tried to protect, insisted on breaking these barriers and letting demons into their world. The gods were confused and exasperated at this and weren’t sure how to stop them.

That is where out boy Asmodeus comes in with a plan: There should be punishments for those who disobey the gods, or else there will continue to be chaos. So, Asmodeus, Mephistopheles and Dispater, along with the other twisted angels went out and punished the wrong doers.

As these tortured and punished people trickled into the Heavens after their death, the deities once again all said “ew” and pulled in Asmodeus to answer for this. They did not want those punished mortals in their realm, so Asmodeus came with another solution: basically, creating the Hells. All he wanted in return was to be able to draw power from the souls of those he punishes, since they (the twisted angels) cannot draw power from the deities while being separated from them

The gods all agreed and signed what would be known as the Pact Primeval which held these terms. The gods then freak out when they find out that what has now become the devils of the Hells encourage people to do wrong so that they end up in the Hells. When confronted with this by the angry gods who tell him that he can’t possibly be doing this, Asmodeus simply smiles and answers: Read the fine print.

The Morals of Devils

Essentially, devils are focused on the larger picture always. They are basically worker ants. I’ve spoken about this before. The Hells are hierarchical, and everyone has a job to do. Everyone eventually fights in the Blood War and contributes to the greater cause. They are simultaneously aware that they are a part of something greater than themselves AND they also want to further their own ambitions and climb the ladder through promotion.

The main objective is always the Blood War between devils and demons. Defeating the demons have been the point since before the Pact Primeval. In their own minds, they technically are doing good. Defeating chaos is good. It’s the whole point. Now, the ways that they might achieve that might not be good, but that is again the focus on the grander picture that comes in. If a mortal asked a devil why they do as they do, they would tell them that they are the only thing that stands between them and absolute chaos. An honorable cause reached with truly dishonorable means (such as when Asmodeus lures more souls to the Hells to gain power to his war against the demons).

Raphael

Raphael is serving himself with his goal of wanting the Crown but perhaps not entirely for pure power-hungry reasons. Yes, he wants power, but he also shows this exact idea of a devil’s tendency to look at the greater picture. He does say in the end that he wants to end the Blood War (which…yeah. That’s great honey, have fun with that. If all of the gods and Asmodeus failed to do so, a little Crown probably won’t do much). I am of the belief that conquering the Hells could be possible but ending the Blood War seems damn near impossible.

But my point stands: he is concerned with the state of the Hells, and he wants to be the one who fixes all of it, which would no doubt give him a lot of devil cookie-points and clout. It would show daddy dearest and everyone who doubted him that he is good at Being A Devil™.

Even if he just gives us the Hammer and we don’t follow through on giving him the Crown of Karsus, he has still done a lot for the Hells. Raphael and the rest of the Hells are not interested in everyone becoming mindflayers (and thus soulless).

That is the very reason why he detests the Emperor so much and mistrusts him. He does not want us to trust someone who enjoys being a mindflayer like he does, because he knows it leads to someone, if not everyone, losing their soul and thus valuable power to the Hells.

This is all just to say that yes, Raphael is a power-hungry narcissist, but he is also simply a cog in a very large machine. If anything, it is actually surprising that there weren’t more devils in the story who were concerned with how everything was turning out.

There is more nuance to him than simply wanting the Crown and becoming Archdevil Supreme for his own selfish goals. He is simply acting on the morals of what everyone around him has fed him his whole life: that you should work hard and be ambitious so that you can further the cause. The real tragic flaw, however, is that if they actually achieved winning the Blood War, they would simply become the new demons because they have become so much like them by fighting them all those years.

And if Raphael has been fed the same version of the Pact Primeval as mentioned above, it’s no wonder that he is so surprisingly chill about Mystra getting the Crown of Karsus. He sees the gods as incompetent snobs who can’t get anything done properly (and let’s be real here, with what I know of them, I sort of agree), and he knows that eventually they will all start their infighting again at some point.

The biggest overarching problem with Raphael’s plans is the same as his father’s and all the other devils. It’s the fact that they understand the bigger picture but believe that if they had more power then they would be more capable of achieving it than those already in power. It’s this idea that the ones above you are simply incompetent at reaching a goal that is essentially impossible. The demons will keep coming no matter what, but they all believe that they would win if they became the next Asmodeus.

You see it when Raphael mentions that his father is “naught more than a frigid archivist”. Could there be a reason for that, pookie? Could there be a reason as to why Mephistopheles won’t use the Crown? Could it be that Hells greatest wizard might have a better grasp on such things than his son? No, nope, daddy is just being stupid and incompetent.

It’s all arrogance. From a sort of natural selection viewpoint, it makes sense. This arrogance makes the devils more ambitious and thus they work harder as the little worker ants that they are, but the downside is that they will make the exact same mistakes as many before them.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

angst angst angst. sudden surprise attack on the hotel and follow up in heaven

Charlie: “-Husk! I can’t find- her- where-”

Husk: “I’ve no FUCKING clue!”

Charlie: “She was right here! She was right next to me-! Cherri- ANGEL!”

Husk: “Fuck!”

Charlie: “-are you okay? Vaggie, is she with-”

Husk: “YOU FUCKING MORON I thought that Lute bitch had KILLED YOU!”

Angel Dust: “She was gonna. V girl got in the way.”

Charlie: “Vaggie stopped her? She’s- with you?”

Angel Dust: “She stopped the sword, not her. I didn’t see, I don’t know where she is. It hit her.”

Charlie: “Where-”

Angel Dust: “I don’t know where it hit! There was fucking angel blood all over!”

Charlie: “-where was- where is she?”

Angel Dust: “I DON’T KNOW! FUCK YOU I DON’T KNOW!”

Charlie: “You were there you HAVE to know!”

Husk: “Did she go down?”

Charlie: “NO! No she wouldn’t have-”

Husk: “Baby just say what you saw.”

Charlie: “She’s better than Lute- she’s a better fighter, she already beat her, she’s can’t-” 

Angel Dust: “-she was pissed and bleeding and they both had wings out! The exorcist bitches were swarming everywhere- That’s all I saw! The fuck do you WANT from me?? Other shit was happening too!”

Cherri Bomb: “Chill, we’ll find her. There’s a massive angel spatter just a bit further back, like ten feet from where I found you, maybe-”

Charlie: “Vaggie! VAGGIE PLEASE- please where are you!?”

Husk: “Fuck- You, don’t move. Just stay here-”

Angel Dust: “Not a FUCKING chance.”

Cherri Bomb: “I’ll crutch him over, go help Charlie-”

Charlie: “Why isn’t she here?”

Husk: “Oh… shit that’s so much blood…”

Angel Dust: “The Lute bitch deserves to’ve lost every bit it.”

Charlie: “She’s not here!”

Cherri Bomb: “That’s good. No body is good. They would’ve left it for us to find if they'd- it’s fine if she’s missing. She probably just, wandered off somewhere.”

Husk: “If half of this shit is her blood then she didn’t go fucking far.”

Charlie: “She wouldn’t just leave. S-she’d check on me, on us, she’d make sure I was okay first!”

Angel Dust: “Maybe ain't dead. Maybe she got took.”

Charlie: “…what..?”

Husk: “Took?”

Angel Dust: “Taken back. Like, UP.”

Cherri Bomb: “Angie, heaven kills people, they don’t grab ‘em like toys in a claw game-”

Angel Dust: “Well what ELSE were they here for, huh!?”   

Cherri Bomb: “But they-... they were…”

Angel Dust: “Not tearing into the hotel, not purging the city. Not killing ME, afterwards, once she took the bait and she took the fucking hit for me. I was a sittin' duck with no weapons and they let me run.”

Husk: “Why? They don’t fucking want her, they fucking put her down here, why-”

Cherri Bomb: “-look at Charlie.”

Husk: “The fuck does that mean-”

Cherri Bomb: “Look at the fucking PRINCESS OF HELL you stupid assfuck!”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “… they left her ribbon.”

Charlie: “…her spear…”

Charlie: “…and.”

Husk: “Oh fuck no.”

Angel Dust: “Is that- an EYE!?”

Charlie: “Her eye.”

Cherri Bomb: “-shit. SHIT.”

Angel Dust: “But she already only had the one! If they used, if it’s- for real- does that, is she-?”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “If they took her then she’s alive. She’ll be okay. She’ll be okay…”

Charlie: “…Husk. Find Alastor and Niffty. Carmilla, Rosie, the Vees- all the Overlords. Bring them here-"

Charlie: "-no. To the clocktower. Heaven’s embassy. Have them meet me there.”

Husk: “How the fuck? You don’t just order Overlords around-”

Charlie: “Tell them if they don’t come I’ll ram my burning pitchfork through their chests and twist their ribs open until enough of their guts spill out for me to grab and drag them there with.”

Husk: “They’ll call your bluff-”

Cherri Bomb: “She’s not bluffing.”

Husk: “Of COURSE she’s fucking bluffing-”

Cherri Bomb: “Warn the Overlords about how heaven took her girl but left her girl's eye and see what THEY think.”

Husk: “… clocktower. When?”

Charlie: “One hour or however long fighting my dad for the throne of hell takes.”

Husk: “Done.”

Angel Dust: “Whoa whoa, what’s with the sudden coup of the kingdom energy!? Fight ya dad? Couldn’t ya just ask his help-”

Charlie: “He’s been bound- he CAN’T attack heaven even if he wanted to. Neither can anyone else here while he’s king.”

Cherri Bomb: “That’s shit.”

Angel Dust: “Well then just ask to be hell king!”

Charlie: “And risk asking for the binding too?”

Angel Dust: “YOU didn’t make the deal-”

Charlie: “If he gives it up willingly and I accept, isn’t that a deal? That’s me, agreeing to what he had- But not if I make it mine. If I use force and rip it from him…”

Angel Dust: “By fighting? For REAL? He’s your fucking family!”

Charlie: “AND SHE ISN’T?”

Angel Dust: “So what- Ya gonna just surprise jump your dad and beat his ass!?”

Charlie: “Yes.”

Cherri Bomb: “No way it’s that easy. You’ll need help-”

Charlie: “I’ve got Vaggie’s spear. That’s enough.”

Angel Dust: “The hell it is!”

Charlie: “He wasn’t born of hell and I am. Even ignoring the Sins, it’s always wanted me more than him anyway.”

Cherri Bomb: “Wh- it’s wanted you? IT?”

Angel Dust: “For fucks sake sure fine hell’s alive who gives a shit-"

Angel Dust: "Think about what VAGGIE would fucking want! Cause it sure wouldn’t be fucking THIS!”

Charlie: “I can’t ask her what she wants until I have her back.”

Angel Dust: “Bitch if you get hurt or killed she’ll never fucking forgive herself!”

Charlie: “I don’t care.”

Angel Dust: “But- but heaven’s not gonna fight fair- ya try this an’ they’ll use her as hostage-”

Cherri Bomb: “It’s a point. What if they put a sword to her throat?”

Charlie: “I’ll rip theirs out first.”

Angel Dust: “… ya… ya won’t…”

Charlie: “Watch the hotel. Don’t move any furniture. She’ll need everything exactly where she remembers it, when she gets home.”

Cherri Bomb: “Got it.

Angel Dust: “Charlie… What’re you doin’?”

Charlie: “Raising hell.”

-HEAVEN- - the beach-

Lute: “Your plan has gone to shit.”

Lilith: (reading) “Has it.”

Lute: “You said this would muzzle her, we’d have her under control.”

Lilith: (flips page) “And isn’t she?”

Lute: “NO. Your whore bitch daughter is-"

Lute: "-hhHHHRK!”

Lilith: “Her.”

Lilith: “Name.”

Lute: “…cchHhARLiE…mORnINgsssTAR..”

Lilith: (releases lute)

Lilith: “Go on.”

Lute: “….she’s burning her way up here.”

Lilith: “Like mother, I suppose.”

Lute: “She has an army.”

Lilith: “Of course she does. We singers love an audience.”

Lute: “She’s shrieking blasphemy and waging war on Heaven!”

Lilith: (back to reading) “Isn’t that what you wanted.”

Lute: “What I wanted?”

Lilith: “Blood and death and pain and suffering....”

Lute: “Down in HELL, damn you! Where it BELONGS!”

Lilith: “And yet you brought my daughter’s partner up here half dead and fully blind.”

Lute: “As she deserves.”

Lilith: “Your brought hell past the pearly gates first, Lute. You invited it here. Heaven has bloodstains now because of you.”

Lute: “It was YOUR plan- YOU said to go get her! How else did you think we were bringing her!?”

Lilith: “Exactly like this.”

Lute: “…..”

Lute: “You… vile, two-faced snake… you wanted this. The defiance of Hell, war at Heaven’s door-”

Lilith: “I couldn’t care less.”

Lute: “LIES!”

Lilith: “We made a deal, little exorcist. Control. My daughter is acting exactly according to your own doing, the hell she is unleashing is your work as much as hers, yours to fight and triumph over while decimating hell to your heart’s content.”

Lute: "I-"

Lilith: “You can be a hero. You can show everyone you were right all along. A chance to empty hell. Adam’s dream come true.... And how proud he would be, if he were still here to see it.”

Lute: “…”

Lilith: "Unless… the soldiers of Heaven might not be up to that…?”

Lute: “...Your demon spawn won’t fall like her traitor father did. She will be- stop squirming, filth-! She’ll be thrown.”

Lilith: “A child often outshines their parents.”

Lute: “Or is burnt to ash. As their parents should have been.”

Lilith: “Too late for that.”

Lute: “We’ll see.”

Lilith: (flips page)

Lilith: “…Lute.”

Lute: “What, Lilith.”

Lilith: “Are you so afraid of losing that you need to drag a broken woman around as a shield?”

Lute: “A shield? No. An example.”

Lilith: “She already is that. As much as she can be, with so little left of her.”

Lute: “Pathetic, isn’t she? And an example for hell this time.”

Lilith: “They’ve seen worse than this each morning.”

Lute: “Oh but I’m far better than they are. I’m no mere sinner- I think I’ll show your daughter a little act of heavenly mercy.”

Lilith: “Is that what you call it when you kill.”

Lute: “This time death really is a mercy, don’t you think? I SAID STOP SQUIRMING!”

Lilith: “Your example doesn’t seem to agree.”

Lute: “Her mistake.”

Lilith: “Yours as well. Your own happily little mistake. Failing to kill her worked out well for you in the end, didn’t it?"

Lute: "I made it work."

Lilith: "You should thank her.”

Lute: “Thank the filth for what?”

Lilith: “For sparing your life. Proving the stronger fighter. Living long enough for this to happen. Loving and being loved enough to inspire a war between heaven and hell."

Lilith: (flips page) "Take your pick.”

Lute: “….I’ll see you after I’m done wiping out your people, Lilith, treacherous Queen of hell- and I’ll tell your daughter who’s idea this all was while I’m at it.”

Lilith: “Give her my love as well.”

Lute: “I’ll carve it on this filth’s chest for her to read while she wails over the corpse!”

Lilith: “If you like. Goodbye, little exorcist.”

Lute: “Bye bitch.”

Lilith: “…”

Lilith: “… and may they finally be as merciful to you, as you have been with them.”

Lilith: (smiles)

Lilith: (goes back to adding a new chapter to The Story of Hell)

[mx-your-name]

His Goddess - 2

Possessive!Adam x Goddess!Reader

Warning: Yandere theme, Possessive Adam, minimum Obsessed Adam, mention of willing to kill angels and sinners, Adam trying to fight a literal GOD, slight mention of sized and mommy kink, a weird ass dead Angel willing to do anything for you that goes by the name of fucking ADAM!

-Like any normal day you were awake doing business whether it was watching over the mortal world, heaven, or hell

-Just then you had to get called into a meeting making you even more annoyed while you were trying to maintain all three places which were all chaotic.. Lute was a mess after Adam’s death with Sera and Emily trying to cheer her up or something, hell was hell, and Earth was just a mix of heaven and hell that was 10x worse than both

-And to your no amusement only to find out that the meeting had lasted for three hours!

-Not only did you miss out on normal day activities you do but Adam was also panicked on where you were at

-He had woken up and went to the normal spot to find you NOT there so he thought you were in your library or something? Nope! Garden? Not there either! He had looked everywhere only to find no one, not his goddess in sight

-Adam knew he shouldn’t worry since you were not only a HOT GODDESS but one that is more powerful than the other four

-Including your hot and sexiness

- *s i g h s in d i s a p p o i n t m e n t*

-Image him calling you tall milf or Mommy cause how you always towered over him.. yeah weird motherfucker but we still love him

-You see how cocky he is about himself just wait until he tells you all the cool stuff that he had done for you to fall more in love with him but fails miserably, you already saw everything he had done from the start of time itself

-Size kink, you can’t tell me otherwise! Whether it’s you or him that’s taller! He’ll still have a size kink no matter what!

-Still calls you a bitch but instead he says, “milf bitch,” or “tall bitch,” or “hot bitch,” or even “mommy bitch,” He’s still coming up with more nicknames for you till this day, yeah weird motherfucker am I right?

-I regret doing this but I love him sfm…

-Has told you multiple times that you belonged to him and him alone which is like 5 or 6 times PER DAY sadly..

-Of course he trusts that you’d never leave him for someone else like who would? He’s Adam! The first man! The dickmaster! He just doesn’t trust that goody tooshoo Cupid guy that talks nonstop about love this and love that

-Yeah.. he definitely had to tell himself that he was the only one made for you and you alone. He fucking CACKLED for the past 5 10 minutes about that

-Meanwhile you were super bored in the meeting which was talking about what to do with certain IMP’s in hell that were going back up to the human world messing with the people and killing them after getting more calls from clients and shit about that

-You were really wishing you brought Adam in here to make it entertaining and have some views from a person that knew sinners personally that just wanted to kill them

-Now when you were looking through the eyes you have everywhere and saw Adam laughing to himself then leaving to grab a drink and sip on it, maybe it was in fact the best idea to not have him come to this Gods meeting

“I say we just go down there and handle them ourselves! Sooner or later they are gonna need to learn to not FUCK with the human world and just stay in their damn place! Maybe we should even give Stolas a visit about him letting those IMP’s use his book that was passed on through his family from us!” Demeter shouted slamming her fist on the table now standing up from her chair knocking it over making it tumble onto the ground. The vines alongside the wall as decoration grew bigger fast from her anger that was swelling up inside of her.

“Not only that but they are messing with nature! The nature that I took my time growing! The nature that I took my time out of my schedule to plant in the place that was needed and thought out only from it all gets mostly destroyed by.. fucking IMP’s!” Her shouting was heard throughout the entire room and through the giant down for all of your 40 foot tall frames. The vines growing faster and faster the more her anger boiled, Eros shirking down a bit muttering how this didn’t feel like a lovely conversation anymore.

Themis sat there, her hands intertwined neatly on the table, staring at Demeter through her blindfold over her eyes with a straight face. Ares felt the anger that was all so familiar that he knew during the wars he went through time and time again for humans only that was never really appreciated or respected anymore nowadays. You knew every emotion that everyone was feeling, you sat at your seat in between both sides. Resting your face in the palm of your hand that stood up on the arm of your chair wanting this meeting to be over since you still had stuff that you needed to get down.

For example like making sure that Adam hadn’t gone mad when finding that you were missing and leaving your place without him. It was always important to him that when you left you had to take him with you since he was always feeling like you were just cheating on him with that Cupid guy which Adam refers to him as. Yeah you had to tell him just because you're leaving without him doesn’t mean you're doing any of that with Eros after all he wasn’t anything more. That but also because Eros already basically had two wives since he is Cupid.

You also had to remind Adam that you two weren’t dating, which Adam acted so dramatic about crying that you didn’t love him anymore. He had crocodile tears going down his face, sighing as you lifted him up in your hands telling him to stop crying. When he thought you weren’t looking he had a smirk on his face knowing that he won the conversation. He “always” did, instead you only let him since Eros told you over and over that he could feel Adam’s love for you raiding off of him, but told you privately that the love Adam had for you was more toxic and possessive but still said it was so cute to see the love between you two!

“Demeter, please calm down. We’ll get this whole situation sorted out in no time and you know revealing ourselves to anyone besides to the certain people that know about us would mess up everything and would cause chaos to arise. We’ll all come up with a plan on what to do, maybe we could speak to Stolas about the matter after all he knows of our existence because of his family.” You told Demeter, breaking through the tension between everyone once snapping out of your thoughts about the matter you're gonna have to deal with when getting back to your place.

“I sincerely apologize, [Name]. I’m just a bit mad for what those IMP’s are doing to my amazing plants down on the planet Earth.” She explained, her vines shrinking back down with a swipe of her hand. Her once chair that laid on the ground was now sat back up thanks to her plants that sprouted from the bottom of her feet. Demeter sat back down in her seat with a swift motion, Eros now sitting back up in his pink chair that had hearts on it that was designed that was to his liking.

-After that whole thing the meeting went completely normal figuring out ideas and coming up with a way to get what Demeter wanted without breaking any of the rules

-Never have you been so thankful in your life when the meeting finally ended letting all five of you go back to what you were doing before the three hour long God and Goddess gathering

-Snapping your fingers you were easily back at your place, Adam who was watching television with a slurpee in hand sipping on it

-Your once 40 foot tall height shrunk down to ten feet that was still taller than Adam since you didn’t feel comfortable being short cause it didn’t fit you, that’s what you’d always say

-Once you sat down beside him on the couch expect him to immediately cling onto you like you were a jungle gym or something

-For a warning he ain’t ever gonna let go until he feels that he can but will still cling to your side wherever your heart leads you to

-Threatening anyone that he deems competition that’ll try and fight for your love

-Yes he HAS in fact threatened the other gods even the goddesses about staying away from you his lover

-Oh my YOU! He almost died a second time thanks to Ares but it was stopped by you. Adam knew that you’d protect him but didn’t show it telling you that he could’ve handled it on his own

-no… just no-

-Adam so wished Lute was here so he could show you off to her and say he had hit the jackpot on finding the one that was always meant to be his lover from the start

-He does miss Lute most of the time feeling a bit lonely without his best friend by his side but at least you're here with him! Not like you're ever gonna leave. He wasn’t able to die again with him by your side and you wouldn’t be able to die since you are a LITERAL goddess

-Had tried to convince you to bring Lute up here multiple times but you told him that you weren’t able to do that for the sake of the rules that were written down for you, you did tell him that if she did die that she would come up here and could stay here with the two of you if he wanted. Adam agreed with little hesitation because he realized that he might get you all to himself but if Lute was her she could protect you like your bodyguard

-As if you were gonna need one! If anyone tried attacking you they’re flicked away and if they did manage to after trying to get to where your at

“Oh come on Sugar tits! You will live Lute and we both could get what we want! I can have my best pal with me and you could have another person to add to this house that could pretty you!” Adam tried convincing you, walking side by side in the garden of flowers that Demeter had set up for you since she said your house was a bit dull m, that was but it wasn’t anymore when Adam arrived here and moved in total with your permission.

“I had already told you Adam, I’m not aloud the only way she could come up here is if she dies WITHOUT it being caused by me or any of the others.” You told him for the second time in the past two minutes man. Wait sugar tits? Oh great another nickname for you, guess it was a bit better than bitch mommy, gross. “Oh don’t be like that babes, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s just one person!” Adam said, slurping on his slurpee in hand, his golden wings resting behind his back. He no longer had his weird looking mask since he had died without it on.

“You ask one more time and I’ll take you going on walks with me in the garden away no scratch that, I'll take you sleeping with me away for a whole damn week if it makes you be quiet.” That had gotten Adam to shut up rather quickly huh guess that’s one of the things he doesn’t wanna go a week without or even a single day. He had bugged you so much one time so you kicked him out of your room for a whole night, he slept outside the door and apologized for what he did later that morning. He couldn’t even stand the feeling of sleeping without you in your big giant bed together.

Nodding your head as you continue your way through the garden admiring the flowers that Demeter had made for you. It was rather normal for all the gods or in other cases goddesses to give the others housewarming gifts. Demeter gave all of you plants and flowers, Eros had gotten any pink and pastel colors to represent love. Ares had gotten all shades of red and some black ones that often had both colors mixed to represent the war for him which he loved gladly.

Themis had gotten just blue that were all shades since she only wanted blue and some were white as an exception since Demeter said it was too bluey for the whole garden. You had gotten all kinds of colors since you were creation and creation could make any color and another part of the garden had darker shades of colors including black, all shades of gray, brown, and etc to represent the destruction.

Ares gave every person some knight armory stands along side the outside or inside of the huge like places you all live at to represent the protection of knights that could come to live from his power to protect the place it guards if anything tried to ever attack which was very unlikely but better be safe than sorry. Eros gifted everyone scented candles with your favorite scents and always gave you all new ones every once or two weeks cause the old ones melt away but that’s okay!

Themis gifted everyone scale if anyone needed an option on anything if you don’t ever make up your mind or see where a person should go to be either reincarnated or whiling them from the face of the entire existence. Your gift to everyone was to make anything they wished for since you had creation letting you create anything with the power of your magic that didn’t break a single sweat from you.

“How does a nice dinner and a movie tonight sound to you?” Breaking the silence with ease as your hand held the flower between your fingertips, the beauty is always surprising on how pretty and amazing things can look if you just focus on the present instead of technology, staying inside all day, or just not giving a single care about the world at all. “That sounds awesome, sugar tits.” Adam quickly agreed, grinning ear to ear, and there that nickname was there again.

Not able to hold the smile back from appearing on your face, letting out a laugh as you cover your mouth with your hand. Your eyelids open up revealing [color] eyes that had a star in the middle of it as the pupils. What made you even more beautiful to Adam in the scenery was your smile that would be worth a thousand or even more words that he spent in a heartbeat. But also because of the way you looked at him with pure eyes that seemed to easily overpower anyone if they tried to fight you, yet again they held both the sunset and sunrise you would always want to see with your significant other every day at any given chance that was open for free.

The sun shining brightly behind you making your appearance glow brightly made Adam feel like he fell so much harder for you than he already was. If he thought he was already deeply in love with you, this one handed split second had sealed the deal on his love that he felt for only you. And the way you were looking at him with laughter and a smile he knew you must love him back. If it wasn’t his cockyness talking he would say that he was glad you were starting to love him but maybe not as much as he loves you but that’s okay cause he could love you with all the love he’d offer. Maybe even kill sinners and angels combined to see you give him that smile every day.

[superhaught]

Just Seven Minutes (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Leighton Murray x Reader

Warnings: intoxication

Word Count: 1800, Part 2/?

Part 1

Leighton and Reader continue to party at the Theta house and enjoy getting close with each other with the help of some crappy tequila.

The door is yanked open and you both squint at the light outside of the closet. You’re met with thunderous hoots and hollers from the decidedly larger crowd gathered there. The frat brother running the game looks all too proud of himself for making a successful pairing. Everyone’s faces betray that they heard everything, everyone flushed from drunkenness and horniness.

You take a deep breath and put your hand on the small of Leighton’s back as you guide her through the crowd, toward the reprieve of quieter conversation and refreshments in the kitchen area. 

Some random guys smack your shoulder blade and congratulate you on your ‘job well done’ as if you’re one of them. You roll your eyes and usher Leighton a little quicker until you break free of the masses and find an empty spot against the kitchen wall to relax. 

You exchange exasperated expressions and then the ridiculousness of it all settles in and you just just descend into happy giggles with each other. Leighton steps a little closer to you, putting you between her and the wall, “thank you,” she says simply. 

“For what, exactly?”

She smirks and whispers, “for the incredible orgasm, of course… and for being very nice. Chivalry isn’t dead after all, it seems.”

You smile and look down at her hand before hesitantly holding it and lacing your fingers together. She smiles in return and gives your hand a small, reassuring squeeze. 

“You wanna drink?” you ask. 

She nods enthusiastically, “yes, please!”

“Alcohol or no?”

“Yes, definitely.”

You nod and peek over her shoulder to chart your path over to the kitchen counter where drinks are being poured. Another party-goer comes up to you both at that point and you recognize her to be one of Leighton’s suitemates, Kimberly, whom you know from a shared class and from frequenting Sips. 

The brunette smiles knowingly at you both and says, “So…”

Leighton rolls her eyes playfully.

“I should have set the two of you up with each other a looong time ago,” Kimberly begins, “I can’t believe I didn’t see it! You guys are like… a really hot couple.”

You smile, a little embarrassed. 

Leighton looks at you and smiles genuinely, “Well, no setting up is necessary, Kimberly, but you’re not wrong about the ‘hot’ part…”

The two of you continue to chat with Kimberly for a moment but your attention falls back on the crowd of people playing seven minutes in heaven. The frat guy selects a girl that even from this distance, you can plainly see is way too drunk. She cheers and stumbles into the center of the circle, sloshing the drink she’s holding slightly.

You tap Leighton’s shoulder and point in the direction, “she looks way too drunk, right? She can’t consent to the game…”

Leighton furrows her brows and follows the direction of your finger. Her and Kimberly both nod in agreement, now concerned.

“I’m on it,” you say. You drop Leighton’s hand and quickly elbow back through the crowd until you push through into the center of the circle and get the drunk girl’s attention. 

“Hey, what the hell?” the frat brother protests.

You silently hold up a hand to shush him and focus on the girl, “hey, how many drinks have you had?”

She can’t make eye contact with you and she slurs her words, “I dunno… like maybe three? And shots?” 

You sigh and glare at each of the frat guys, “can’t you idiots see that she’s hammered?”

The guys all look stupid and take steps back. You speak to the girl again, “let’s get you home, okay?”

She frowns but nods. 

“Who knows this girl? Huh?” You shout out to the crowd. You see Leighton and Kimberly watching you from their spot in the kitchen, “Come on, who came with her?”

After a minute or so, two girls that had been dancing in another part of the house are reunited with the girl. You escort the three of them to the front door of the frat house, flanked by the fraternity president. 

Leighton joins you at this point and starts drilling into the president, “I don’t think I need to tell you that this is a bad look,” she points at his sternum, “she was wasted, and you were about to lock her in a closet with a stranger!”

The president crosses his arms, “being Nico’s baby sister doesn’t mean you can talk to me like that!”

Leighton fumes, “oh yeah? How about this then, get your boys enrolled in the Women’s Center harm reduction and harassment prevention training by the end of the month or my dad shreds his donation check this year.”

The president scowls then raises his palms in surrender and backs away. You had watched the interaction from the side while helping the poor girl get some electrolytes to rehydrate before the group walked back to the dorms. 

Kimberly volunteers to walk with them as she was getting ready to head home anyways. The situation deescalates after that and the seven minutes in heaven crowd disperses. 

You take a deep breath and walk up to Leighton. She’s clearly still amped up but she softens and smiles when she sees you.

“Sorry for rushing off there,” you say. 

“Sorry? Not at all, you did the right thing. Thank you for helping her, these goddamn frat parties can go to shit so quickly.”

You take her hand again and caress your thumb over her knuckles, “well, I think everything is okay now. Do you want to stay or are you done?”

She smiles, “I want to stay. You still owe me a drink.”

“You’re absolutely right, come on.” You meander through the party together, holding hands and squeezing up to the bar, “two tequila sodas, please!” You say to the Theta bartender. 

“Ooh, good choice.” Leighton whispers. 

You’re passed red solo cups and you cheers each other and take mirroring sips. Leighton scrunches her nose and says, “fucking shitty tequila… god what does the donation money even do if it’s not for good alcohol?”

You laugh at her as you wince and nod in agreement, “yeah,” you cough, “that sucks.”

You walk together back to your spot along the wall and as you lean against the wall, Leighton leans against you, letting you wrap your free arm around her waist from behind. It’s a little bit of a funny position with her being taller but it works well enough, and you can tell that she enjoys the feeling of being held while being able to observe the party. 

You keep sipping on your drinks, ignoring the burn, and you chat as much as you can over the pounding music.

You stay for longer than you ever would’ve anticipated hanging out at this party, but with Leighton, time seems to fly by. You talk and dance all night, outlasting even Leighton’s more party-oriented roommates, Bela and Whitney. 

You laugh joyously as tipsy, 3 AM Leighton bends at her waist and shakes her ass against your front to “Like a G6.” 

She turns back around and holds your face and pulls you in to make out with you. You melt into the kiss with her and hold tightly onto her hips.

You’ve never felt like this before. You’ve never felt so liberated. You never would have imagined a reality where your crush on Leighton would amount to anything, but you were dead wrong. 

She pulls away from you after a moment and says, “I’m thirsty!”

You nod and grab her hand, leading her back to the kitchen to get you both water. You take a moment to catch your breath and drink some water and you decide then to say what’s been on your mind, “Leighton, can I tell you something?”

She smiles, “‘course you can.”

“I really like you,” you state, “I’ve been quietly crushing on you for a long time, and I don’t want this to end after tonight. Is that okay?”

Her smile grows even more, “really? That’s amazing! I really like you, too!” she leans forward and embraces you.

You turn your head and press a soft kiss to her cheek while you hug, “yeah? You mean that?”

“Mhmm!” She nods excitedly, “I definitely want to keep seeing you, okay?”

“I just…” you begin, quietly, “well… you had some recent breakups, right?”

She suddenly looks more sober as she drinks her water and thinks about what you’re saying, “yes… why?”

“Sorry,” you backtrack, “we don’t have to talk about that right now, I’m just trying to confirm that you’re okay and in a good place to see someone right now.”

She nods, understanding, “Oh yeah, you’re good, don’t worry. I really want this.”

You smile and pull her in to kiss her again, which she reciprocates excitedly. 

Leighton takes another drink of water and briefly checks her phone. She frowns at something she sees and then shakes her head and puts her phone away again. 

“Everything okay?” you ask. 

She nods, “yup. Everything’s fine. Can we keep dancing?”

You take her hand and return to the dancefloor, continuing to have fun and enjoy each other late into the night. 

Leighton dances in front of you and puts your hands on her waist as she does so. She seems carefree and she looks beautiful as she demonstrates which songs are her favorite to dance to. 

A more low-key song comes on and the two of you take a moment to slow down and breathe. You speak to her over the music, “would you be okay with me calling you by a nickname or pet names?”

“What do you have in mind? Most of my friends just shorten my name to Leight.”

You smile, “I like that, I can sprinkle in some other sweet names, too.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Baby?”

“I like baby… that makes me feel good.”

You pull her in closer and nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck and whisper, “then I will definitely call you baby… how about, babygirl? Sweetheart? Beautiful?”

Leighton shivers, feeling your breath tickle her neck, “I really enjoy all of those, actually… I never thought I would be the kind to like that but coming from you… you’re just making me want to beg for more…”

“Ooh… I think I’d like to hear you beg, babygirl…”

“Oh really? You want me to beg, huh?”

You nod affirmatively and kiss her neck beneath her ear. Leighton’s eyes flutter shut and she moans softly, leans into you more. She’s melting from your soft, sensual touches. 

“Everywhere that I’ve kissed you is so soft… and tastes so incredible… I can’t get enough of you…” you whisper.

“Maybe I don’t want you to ever get enough of me… maybe I want you to keep desiring me…”

“Leighton, babygirl… I want to give you everything you want…”

[mediacircuspod]

Obsessed with this scene and will be forever; A very long meta.

Your ‘exactly’ and my ‘exactly’ are different ‘exactly’s’

The Scene.

Crowley’s exactly means “We need to be safe and together and away from danger. Let me keep you safe.”

Aziraphale’s exactly means “We need to help because it’s the right thing to do, and we fix things when we’re together.”

Note though, that this is the only time they clarify with each other, and they don’t actually say what they mean, they say what they want to do.

“Let’s drop him off and leave him.” Vs. “Let’s take him in and help him.” 

The dissection of this also poses the question, Why does Aziraphale think helping Gabriel is the right thing to do?

And the answer is; Crowley gives him the courage to do what Aziraphale thinks is the right thing and not what heaven decrees is good.

And we can come to this conclusion because Aziraphale for the first time ever, immediately and without hesitation, goes against heaven’s will, without having to be convinced or going through a cycle of indecision or guilt. This is… A. Big. Deal.

Season One. 

Heaven’s good requires Armageddon to be complete, and under-way. And what does Aziraphale first say about it? “It’s all going to be rather lovely.” “I am not interested[in stopping Armageddon with you].” 

Aziraphale loves the earth in this scene. He loves the people on it. He loves all the creatures great and small. He loves Crowley, too. And he still refuses. He needs Crowley to convince him, and even then he still thinks heaven will see sense once he fixes everything. He still believes that right, and good, and holy are the same thing. Even if sometimes he doesn’t agree with it. 

Now, let’s go through some history. Between the two of them, for sure, but mainly Aziraphale’s. 

An act of defiance; The giving away of a flaming sword. The guilt and worry Aziraphale feels after giving Adam and Eve a chance at survival is not something he gets over quickly. He worries that it was the wrong thing even though it felt right. And the problem isn’t the system that would make doing a good deed the wrong thing, the problem is him. The problem is Aziraphale.

Compliance; The flood. The crucifixion. “God’s a bit tetchy” he says before Mesopotamia is decimated. Aziraphale is clearly uncomfortable with the will of heaven here, but he does not disobey. He does what he is told because the will of God is good and right and correct. He does this same thing with the same reasoning during the Crucifixion of Jesus in 33 AD. Crowley gives us context with a few lines, “Your lot put him up there.” “I showed him all the Kingdoms of the world.” We see a demon who still doesn’t understand why good is so cruel, and knowledge is so evil. And we see an angel that refuses to be conflicted despite his own inherent morality. Because Aziraphale understands why Crowley has questions, he has them too by now. However, Aziraphale has something Crowley didn’t; he has the knowledge of what good intentions and well-meaning questions get an angel.

Doing bad in order to do good. Let’s talk about the Job mini-sode, because let’s be completely real; I’ll never be done talking about the Job mini-sode. 

Aziraphale starts this episode thwarting evil. Something he is not conflicted about. You have to thwart evil when you’re good. That’s the whole dance at this point. Crowley stops the dance though, he presents a permit. A permit from a higher authority. Meaning that Crowley, the demon, is performing the will of not only Hell, but also of Heaven. A theme that IS THE WHOLE POINT OF SEASON 1. For all their want of a war, heaven and hell want the exact same thing. 

Crowley even states, “The real ‘Big One’ will be between ‘all of them’ and ‘all of us’”. At the end of Season 1 Episode 6.

Aziraphale is horrified by this “permit”. And he goes to check on the validity in heaven, and well. He finds out that it’s real. He doesn’t go higher after that, because he knows you don’t question. He knows he can’t ask why? So he goes to Crowley. If Crowley doesn’t do the evil thing, then Aziraphale doesn’t have to break the rules to thwart it. And well, even though Crowley is a demon, Aziraphale doesn’t actually see him do demonic things all that much. Aziraphale still thinks that Crowley acts like an angel. He’s even starting to think that Crowley is on the side of good. Good being heaven. Crowley denies this, but Aziraphale doesn’t listen. Crowley says, “Kill the blameless Children of Blameless Job” and Aziraphale isn’t going to stop him. The demon has a permit after all. But then something miraculous happens. 

A crow, bleats.

Aziraphale looks at a demon defying heaven, defying hell, and doing good. He doesn’t know it yet, but this is his first glimpse of their side. At this point, Aziraphale still thinks Crowley is a little bit on heavens side, because the demon is a little bit good. But then Crowley keeps saving the Children. Crowley stands before angels and he lies to save the children. He does something bad to do something good. And then.

So does Aziraphale. 

An angel lies to save children. And then that angel thinks that decision is his undoing. He readies himself for a fall that never comes. Because Crowley is going to keep his secret. This is where Aziraphale once again starts acting with his own moral code. It’s important to remember something important though. Aziraphale still thinks he’s the one who’s wrong. Not heaven. The birth of “their side” coincides with the saving of Job’s children. But there’s a problem. 

It doesn’t mean the same thing to each of them. To Crowley it means and end to his loneliness. To Aziraphale it means the beginning of his millennia long struggle of reckoning good with right. Their “exactly’s” don’t match, and they don’t clarify with one another.

The Book and the Bandstand; Aziraphale doesn’t tell Crowley. He doesn’t say, “Let’s go save the world, I found the anti-christ” He says, “Why would I know his shoe-size?” And Crowley doesn’t suspect a thing. Ouch. They disagree on how to continue. Crowley wants to cut their losses and run away. He wants to do this because he thinks they’ve already lost. And Aziraphale doesn’t give him a reason to hold on because despite everything, Aziraphale wants to be good in the heavenly way. He wants to give heaven a chance to do good, too. A higher authority will surely agree with him. And now, he has the courage to ask. Only after he is turned down by heaven does he make his own decision. He steps into ‘their side’ safely, because Crowley had built it that way. 

And he saves the world. With Crowley, and the Anti-Christ, and a series of human beings. 

Aziraphale retreats to the safety that Crowley has built for them and that he himself has built as well, despite constantly looking over this shoulder. And he finds comfort there. It is the entire reason he finds himself comfortable making his own choices in Season 2, regarding what is good. It’s why he helps Gabriel, and it’s how he gets Crowley to do it too. 

You might even say that Aziraphale embraces ‘their side’ more than ever in Season 2. He includes Crowley in all of his plans, excitedly tells him information he finds, calls the bookshop, the Bentley, and their existence, ours. Oppose this directly with Crowley who, in the name of keeping Aziraphale safe, actually just keeps him in the dark(The threat of extreme sanctions, Gabriel’s trial, etc.)

Exactly vs Exactly; AND STILL THE ENDING MAKES SENSE. I have a whole meta HERE about the reason Aziraphale made the decision he did, but I want to talk about it a little bit more. Because it’s the same problem. Their “exactly’s” are different, and neither of them asks the other to explain why. 

In this particular case of the ending scene of Season 2, in place of the phrase “exactly” they use the word “together”. 

Aziraphale wants Crowley with him in heaven, because they fix things when they’re together. And Aziraphale has faith they they can fix heaven. “We can be together” is how he presents it to Crowley. Crowley rightly sees this as naive, and he’s upset that Aziraphale thinks he wants to be something he’s not anymore.

He finds it hurtful that Aziraphale wants him to change. 

“We can go off together” Is what Crowley counters. He says all of this is awful, please let us go off somewhere the danger isn’t. Let me keep you safe. Aziraphale doesn’t want to run away. He wants to save the world again. He wants to save it with Crowley. He wants them both to be good, too.

IT’S THE SAME ARGUMENT. 

Only Crowley doesn’t let Aziraphale win this time. Aziraphale isn’t right this time. And Crowley isn’t wrong. (I mean I don't think he's right either, they need to find a compromise that isn't the toxicity of heaven and isn't the loneliness of running away.) This time he says, “It’s finally too much, you’re finally asking me to do too much.” Crowley for the first time ever, when asked to make the decision between the two of them, chooses himself. Neither of them explain themselves, and neither of them asks the other to do it either. Because asking questions has always been dangerous for both of them. Anyway, this season makes my brain buzz and I love the ending so much.

[italoniponic]

Bat-Hunter | Rook Hunt & Lilia Vanrouge

Synopsis: In which Rook and Lilia found themselves at the start of a legendary battle for the Prefect of Ramshackle's heart. The world of love triangles is awfully quiet after this exchange. Dedicated to @pandoa. You wish and you shall receive <3

Lilia Vanrouge, Rook Hunt x gender neutral reader / small scenario / fluff but mostly crack / reference to a specific Phillipines dish / 1525 words / use of “you” pronouns / Masterlist

Bat-Hunter: The Magnificent Showdown!

Few people throughout history — between humans and faes — could say that they had the audacity to directly antagonize the Great General Vanrouge in any sort of battle. And getting out of this sort of risk alive was a bit of luck granted to very few people, almost to none.

“But a coward hunter is not worthy to receive the title, nor to wear a hat.”

That was the Hunt family motto that Rook was so proud to carry in his heart. Such was his respect for his family tradition that this phrase was embroidered on the inside of all his hats so as to never forget his origins.

Well, maybe I’m starting a little too fast and you’re still worrying — from the comfort of Ramshackle’s upstairs window — what the hell the two guys you liked were doing on the ground floor balcony, dressed like that.

Despite everything, you suddenly shrugged to yourself and headed to the kitchen where a more urgent task needed to be fulfilled. When everything was ready, hopefully you could invite the guys in. That is, if you found one or the other intact in the end.

Because that was the feeling that their exchange of glances passed.

Lilia was dressed in his Light Music club “uniform,” as punk rock as your father had been in the eighties when he was young and phones were wired. He held his guitar close to him, as if it were the weapon of his days in the Army of Thorns. He was “total rad” — as the youngsters would say.

His friendly smile only masked the irritation of finding Rook in that place, decked out from head to toe. Usually, his presence was easy to ignore and his curiosity could be quite amusing from time to time.

But he knew the real situation they were in: they were equals in rivalry for the heart of Ramshackle’s Prefect.

Knights in a duel for love!

Rook, in his own instance, wore a pair of belted trousers and a loose white blouse — located in the common vocabulary as a “pirate blouse” — with the strange addition of a large pink coat over his shoulders, sewn by hand and with some patterns of blue rhombuses. With his hat in hand, he looked like a book character.

His expression was equally gentle but it carried a certain pang of defiance, like a hunter who meets another while hunting.

“You look very beauté this afternoon, Monsieur Curiosité!,” Rook praised.

“How did you actually say that time? That my beauty is ‘mysterious’?,” Lilia chuckled, squinting his eyes.

“Oui, oui! But do not fret, Monsieur, today my attention is on someone else.”

“Another one? You can’t get enough of it, can you, Hunt?”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, yes. I’m tired. Tired because I’m wandering for days and nights thinking about the smile of that kind person and how I would like to cheer them up in these times of crisis!”

Crisis? Lilia didn’t quite understand. You seemed to be doing very well during all the times you met. Had he let any detail slip through the cracks?

“What kind of crisis? That is,” he bit his tongue, embarrassed that he had to ask for help from his literal rival. “If I may intrude.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. These are ear crisis! Dear Trickster has been hearing a lot of guitars being scratched lately,” the young huntsman replied, boldly.

Lilia barely broke his guitar cable — or the entire instrument at once in Rook’s head.

It was a mere provocation, no big deal. And Pomefiore’s vice, the way he was, probably appreciated each style of music in its own artistic way. But they were dealing with a battle of epic proportions and every blow counted.

Even if he were to call Lilia’s love-hard-heavy-metal demo “instrument-scratching”. But it was worth it and it showed in the way Rook’s eyes squinted in amusement.

Dealing with Diasomnia’s vice has always been an adventure in itself. That was the best part about being Lilia’s romantic rival.

Regardless of the ending, moments like this would always have a special place in Rook’s heart and he would remember it all with emotion when he went to tell your children — “the Hunt Jrs.” — the trajectory of your love.

“Why are you crying?,” suddenly Lilia inquired, confused.

“You will not be forgotten, Monsieur Curiosité! Forever and ever!,” Rook declared, wiping a tear with the sleeve of his coat. “Your memory will be carried forever in our family!”

At this the fae pulled the hunter by the collar of his shirt, staring directly into his green eyes. It was not necessary to float to come face to face with Rook, Lilia had enough dignity to impose himself the way he wanted.

And, let’s face it, making the boy — a “child” in his eyes — literally reach his level was more convenient too.

“Your particular persona has not yet turned gray to be Malleus’ breakfast because I dare, to the best of my mental faculties, find your audacity mildly amusing,” Lilia said with a grim smile cutting across his face.

“I thank you, monsieur. And I, if I may say so, find the bloody-pink in your eyes extremely beautiful,” Rook retorted, torn between fascination and a certain fear instinct that only made him feel more confident in his goals.

“Who do you think you are, hunter?”

“And who do you think I am, bat?”

That said, the two of them started laughing. Maniacally. They walked away but kept laughing, releasing all the anger and tension that could be felt in the form of simple fun between two colleagues.

Oh, they wanted to duel until death ripped them from each others hands.

Fortunately, you opened the door in time to prevent a bloodbath in your yard — after all, it would be difficult to clean it up.

“Hey, boys!,” you greeted, happy. “Wanna come in? I made pancit canton!”

Then you showed them a plate of fresh noodles, straight out of the pan, in a colorful combination of sliced pork, sausage and shrimp along with chopped carrots, cabbage, peas, onions and garlic. It smelled wonderfully good and matched your good mood. No wonder, it was your favorite food from the Philippines.

The sun was setting and it was close to dinner time. In fact, you were so excited about the process of cooking everything — from blanching vegetables to cutting meats — that the serving size tripled. Maybe being busy tidying the house didn’t help your distraction.

But with Lilia and Rook there — and Grim would be happy with extra food — you felt that little slip was worth doing it.

The smile that opened on your face descended on them like a ray of light in the midst of darkness, poetic as a fairy tale.

The animosity in the air was still palpable, however you were simply happy to have the company of your two crushes at the same time and there are times you need to take advantage of some situations.

“Prefect! I composed a song and I would like you to hear it,” Lilia stepped forward, putting the guitar in position and pulling a bombastic sound from the strings.

Your eyes widened and you couldn’t stop an admiring smile from appearing. Outside that your heart was racing just like the Light Music club speakers after a performance by Lilia. He was so cool!

“And I brought the best collection of poems on my bookshelf to recite, sweet Trickster!,” Rook didn’t lag behind and with one movement of his arm, the coat danced beautifully under his shoulders.

Another shot to the heart! As if that were not enough, the shades of the afternoon horizon harmonized perfectly with Rook’s clothes and made him an otherworldly vision, having escaped from a bedside book just to meet with you.

“You two are going to drive me crazy like this…,” you grumbled to yourself. But you did your best to stay intact.

“I just want you to bear with me 'cause I am only one,” you said. “Let’s have dinner first, okay?”

“All for you, sweet Trickster!,” Rook declared, taking your free hand and kissing it.

“A-ah! Okay?”

“What matters is your wish, Prefect,” Lilia skillfully took the plate of pancit from your other hand and also kissed it.

“B-but your guitar...!” He literally had put the instrument between his legs.

“There’s no time for questioning, magnefique apple of my eyes. Forward, my brave rival!”

“Said and done, hunter!”

You were still confused when they managed to find a way to literally drag you into the house, each holding your arms as if your weight was negligible and the situation completely normal.

It was obvious how Rook and Lilia, even if in different ways, could make you go “head over heels.” 

Well, you avoided reaching that angle when they deposited you on the couch and sat each by your sides. At least the animosity was gone and Lilia’s guitar was more securely propped up on the coffee table.

“Dinner, mes ami?,” Rook suggested. “Then a lyrical duel to the death?”

“A what...?”

“That’s fine for me,” Lilia accepted.

And so they lived happily ever after. At least until after dinner.

🦇🆚️🏹

Special Notes: It’s funny or maybe not how I can get drowned in my own work and never make any progress in months but the moment the inspiration for something strikes me as a lighting, suddenly I can pull off an entire 1525 thing in two nights straight. It’s quite simple and it goes more into comedy territory but it’s a homage for your underrated comedy skills, Pando! I still tried my best to make sure both Rook and Lilia could have their times to shine. I based most of the exchange in Lilia’s R Sports Card personal story with Rook (and just got off from that feeling). Have to say, I love a good unilateral passive-aggressive convo and they delivered <3

Now… any similarities of scenes from certain movies are completely my fault. I’m currently having a Die Hard and Kung Fu Panda brainrot, which is weird but it happened.

[noemilivv]

Hii Mio!!

How are you doing? I hope the Hiatus was good for you! Breaks are good for the metabolism!

I'm really glad you're back,I love your writing!

Speaking of which,here I am with a New prompt-

Could I pretty please have a platonic!child!reader + Husk,Vox,Adam,Alastor,Charlie and Lucifer (Making a big list so you can pick which ones you have more interest in!!) Where the reader is just a traumatized kid who killed to survive when alive,and the characters find the kid stabbing people out of self defense and fear and they just pick them up and take them home because they have nowhere to go? It takes a while for them to adapt to the characters and their new home,and sometimes bad memories hit,they think it's real and they just don't know what's reality or what's just their mind playing tricks on them?

Basically just a Traumatized child with ptsd ToT

So yeah, there you go!!

I hope you enjoy writing this,don't forget to take breaks and drink water!!

Stay proud!! (because I surely am,of you!)

-Nina <33

𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐦, 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫, & 𝐯𝐨𝐱 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝!𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

a/n: heyy nina!! i’m so sorry this took so long haha. i really was struggling with ideas for the others so i took some out sadly :( but i hope it was worth the wait!!

warnings: mentions of murder, mentions of trauma, profanity

𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐦

did not hesitate to take you to his place, heaven was safer than hell, no doubt, but that didn’t mean there weren’t ever sketchy people around

once you told him/found out about your past, he’s firstly surprised you’re even in heaven, and secondly surprised how a small squirt can be such a bad bitch

he takes you under his wing (literally) and will protect you at all costs, he was never too into kids, but you were a special one, and he loved ya like a dad, or something like that.

𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫

he’s a dad himself, and he knows first-hand hell isn’t the safest place to not have a room over your head, so he brings you to stay with him while at charlie’s hotel (and everyone feels out about how cute you are!!)

lucifer’s hyper attentive of your needs, he’s taking this as a second chance at being a better father, so he’s found everything he can

when he finds out about your past actions, he’s not surprised you ended up down in hell, just because of heavens closed-mindedness, but he feels bad, cause you were just a kid trying to protect yourself

𝐯𝐨𝐱

when vox first finds you, he promises you a deal, and no, not for your soul!!

if you work as his assistant, he’ll provide you all your needs, and who could say no?

at first he’s a bit tense around you, kids aren’t his thing, and he has a tendency to just hand you over to velvette when he doesn’t know what to do

but after hearing your story from when you were alive, he can’t help but sympathize with you

he tries his best to be as kind to you as he can after that point, but let’s be real, vox isn’t great with those sorts of things

i do not permit for my work to be reposted, translated, or stolen. all rights go to signedmio. characters are not mine, unless stated, and belong to their rightful creators.

[circeyoru]

Gift = Requested

[Alastor x Cupid!Reader]

The Request

A running gag Alastor would use was that you shot him with one of your love arrows. Then you would firmly deny it and swear that your powers over love weren’t the reason for his infatuation with you. Both of you use it as a playful tease, nothing too serious

You were Cupid, the famous or infamous for your control over love and desire, both for love and hate. Your godly powers can’t be denied and you didn’t have an equal as no one could overcome you and your powers

Mainly working on Earth, you did your job to nudge the soul into the ‘right’ lover. For Heaven folks, you didn’t want to since it was all ‘perfect’ there. In Hel though, well, you saw that the place was already a loss cause so you never even tried. You may have for the pure-hearted ones, like two of the sins that found their love that they would protect for life

Your powers were more like that spark that people would say ‘love at first sight’ or something, you didn’t like the part that you could manipulate love and desire like those stupid love potions (looking at Valentino and Velvette). When you come across one that’s under such influence, you summoned a black arrow of hatred and fired

It was when Alastor witness the play between you and the Vees that he got interested. You had a pair of white wings behind you, but you weren’t an exterminator. You carry a bow with magically appeared arrows and not spears. Your white wings were also much smaller than that of an angels

You didn’t realize you were watched and continued your ‘fun’ sabotaging the love potion produced by the three Overlords. If they wanted to manipulate love, then you can play too. They should honestly be glad you didn’t fire any arrows directly at them

Love is powerful. With a love arrow, you can have the target at your feet, begging for your attention and interest. With a hate arrow, you can have the target self-loath themselves to destruction. You wield power that can be an equivalent to a god’s, but you kept yourself grounded, prefering to interact with the commonality

Since you were holding back, you didn’t realize Vox’s sneak attack. You were that one person and it was one against three! Before Vox could even touch you, he was knocked back by a black shadow that dispersed to reveal a demon in red. You blinked as you stared at your saviour

“Are you quite alright, my dear? That was a close call.” Alastor’s radio voice spoke

You only managed a nod, still shocked that a demon actually came to your rescue. Normally all demons would steer clear of you. Because you look like an angel with your angels and bow. So you were used to the solo travelling and defending

“This has nothing to do with you!” Vox shouted when he got back, he pointed at you, making you hide behind Alastor who proved to be a very very suitable shield. “We’ll settle this later but now,” He gestured to Valentino and Velvette, then himself, “We have a score to settle with that b*tch Cupid!”

“Cupid?” Alastor tilted his head with mild confusion and interest. His head turned 180 and looked down at you, you waved and chuckled, greeting him. He hummed and turned his head back, “Well, I would like some time with the little darling as well! A shame, I don’t like sharing.”

“You used one of your arrows on that f**k face, didn’t you!” Velvette accused, also pointing a finger at you. “Now who’s the hypocrite!”

You peeked your head from behind Alastor, shouting back, “I would never! I don’t even know he was here!”

A fight turned into a squabble as the two sides shouted at each other, Alastor finding himself at the center of something amusing sure, but the attention didn’t seem to be on him. For once, the Vees were focused on a target together that wasn’t him. You were an interesting one. Very entertaining

From then onward, Alastor would seek you out when he knew you were merely a visitor in Hell. You home and work was on Earth as ‘Cupid’ though not your real name, it was one that everyone called you by so you just went with it. Humans and their obsession with higher power

You’d let Alastor hang around you as you stroll in Hell, sometimes even finding couples that you helped in Hell happy together. You would see the same in Heaven, but there were more heartbreaks because their other half would be in Hell for ‘wrongdoings’. It wasn’t your place, but you offered them a peace of mind with your third arrow of blankness. To forget the love and desire held to their target. Naturally, you did it with their consent and you’d travel to Hell to search for that target to offer the same path

Through your work and shadowing you, Alastor learned that you were one that took your duty seriously. It reminds him of his fixation with radios and the older times. While he didn’t think of you as a pawn to use, given that you had no soul and aren’t always around, he preferred your company

The best thing out of your relationship with him was your connections. You told him that your powers weren’t purely romantic on the 1-year anniversary of your relationship together. He was puzzled until you listed examples, from love towards work to friendship love, to even familial love

He wouldn’t forget that moment

When your soft finger poked where his heart would be and laid your entire palm over his beating black heart, you were slightly hovering with your small wings lifting you so you could lean over the meal table prepared by Alastor himself. “There’s another love in you that’s strong. I’m not talking about your love to me.”

Familial love. You were referring to his mother. He felt like the world suddenly went deafly silent as his attention focused on the words that came out of your moving lips. You prepared a gift for him, one that his mother wish to gift you as well. You removed the locket from your neck and passed it to him. It was a manifestation of your power, but it was one that meant so much to him because of what held within

You placed the necklace in his hand, forcefully making him cup it so he wouldn’t drop it since he was still in a state of shock. You gave him a quick kiss and thanked him for his preparations for the anniversary. You gave him his space and left

Alastor went to his forest, the necklace in hand. He walked through the forest, calmly and slowly, replaying that moment over and over as if to reassure him it was real. You found his mother in Heaven, you’ve been talking to her, she missed his sweet boy, she was happy to hear he was doing well, she was relieved to hear he had his partner finally. He looked down at the locket

He found a place to sit down, using his shadows to form a barrier. Absolutely nothing must interrupt him right now. Then he brushed over the surface of the locket and it glowed, a female figure formed, his tears threatened to form. “Mother.”

You hummed a tune as you stared up at the red sky. You knew this was when Alastor was contacting his mother. It took a while for you to perfect, but it was well worth it. Besides, it was because the love between Alastor and his mother was that strong that you were able to link the two. While they can’t physically be near each other, you hoped this would do for now

Alastor filled your void and then some, so you wanted to repay him in some way. You saw the way his love shined when he was talking about his mother and you saw the way her love shined when talking about her precious son. The two were separated by the realms, but they still love the other even with all this time and distance. You admit, you admire that because their love for each other was pure and strong

Since you didn’t do anything on your part

“My love.”

“That was quick, how was—” You didn’t get to finish your sentence when you felt yourself hugged from behind. “I’ll take a weird guess and say that you liked your anniversary gift?”

Alastor turned you around, staring at you with that look in his eyes. It was much like that time the two of you first met. Interest and fondness, though now there’s love mixed into it. “My beloved. Your gift to me can’t be compared.” 

He hugged you even tighter, he was scared this was all a dream and you’d be gone from his life or you can’t ever return to Hell to see him. Every time you felt Hell for your duties, he lost all connection to you, he couldn’t sense you or feel your presence. He feared that you’d leave him for Heaven since Hell was no place for a being as lovely as you

The two of you shared a kiss but not before Alastor whispered to you, “You are already a gift to my soul.”

Note: This might as well be a post, but meh. I'm lazy to do it. I'm working on the other requests, will be posted soon I think

Circe Y.

Other works: MASTERLIST

Taglist:

@aconfusedwonderland

@crowleysthings

@donustellaron

[featherandferns]

daylight - nine

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 9 of the daylight series | read part 8 here

content warnings: mentions of sex; mentions of alcohol

word count: 3.9k.

blurb: restless after the argument with JJ, you resort to looking through the journal you kept when you were dating Tyler. Maybe it's time to try and let the past go.

You can’t sleep.

Every time you close your eyes, you hear the argument between you and JJ echo in your mind. The horrible things you said to one another. The perfect avoidance of the truth, as if the two of you were reciting steps in a dance. The thought that everything between you might be ruined keeps you from finding rest.

Mimsy still hasn’t returned any of your calls. Never before have you felt the distance between the two of you to be so gaping. Vancouver feels like asylum that you can’t seek: it feels as unattainable as visiting heaven. You just want to be home, in your old bedroom, in your old bed, surrounded by your old friends. You want to go back to a time before JJ and before Kildare and, more importantly, before Tyler.

Tired of staring at the ceiling, you shove your sheets off and climb out of bed. Stretching, your eyes gravitate to your pin-board. JJ seems to shine brighter than everyone else, it's as if he's backlit. You're momentarily distracted by his radiant smile. By those eyes that could bring you to your knees; the very eyes that captured you before he’d even spoken a word your way. And now, when you see his face, all you can think of is that last conversation. You look away and, like a moth drawn to a flame, or a pirate guided by a siren’s call, your eyes latch on to the shoebox under your bed. 

Something inside of you has you sinking to your knees before it. You guide it out, holding the cardboard like it’s the fragile casing of a bomb. Sitting cross legged on your bedroom floor, you take the lid of the box and lift out the journal. A finger dusts over its worn cover and a solemn smile tries but fails to make its way onto your face. Your fingers crack the pages open. And then, you start to read. 

June 3

Me and Mimsy went to a kegger today. It was pretty boring and not many people were there. We mostly hung out with Kelly and Evan. I played some beer pong - I swear I’m getting better. I ended up talking to this guy called Tyler. He goes to the boys only school in the neighbourhood. He likes country music, which is icky as hell, and he’s a little lanky. I don’t think he likes me very much. We talked for a bit but he didn’t say much, and I felt like I was chewing his ear off, so I went back to Mimsy and decided to quit bothering him. He’s cute though, so it’s a shame. There’s this tenderness in his eyes. I don’t know, I guess I felt sorry when I looked in them. I feel like if he gets coaxed out and given the right space, he might be able to really open up. But if you don’t like someone, I guess you won’t jump at the chance, right? I probably won’t see him again anyway. We don’t really run in the same circles. 

June 17

Mimsy has the flu and I’m scared I’m going to catch it too. I have a photography gig in two days at the hockey club in town and I don’t want to miss it. I think it’ll be really good for the gram and maybe get me some more work opportunities. My post the other week got three thousand likes. How crazy is that? I think I need to get better at editing. That’s usually what sets people’s photography apart. 

June 19

So, the photography thing was today and it was a success! The team were really nice and the coach said he has this sister who’s throwing an anniversary get-together thing in a week or so. He asked if he could pass on my information. I finally feel like this might be something I can actually do, for money and for the long term. Mimsy’s feeling a bit better. I don’t think I’ve caught her bug so that’s a win. Tomorrow I’ll take her some soup and stuff. Oh! And that Tyler guy was at the hockey club too. Apparently he coaches the girls-only team. He was more chatty this time. The guys in the locker rooms had beers and they offered me one, so maybe he gets more talkative when he has a drink? Anyway, we talked for a while. He’s kind of dorky but it’s sweet. He’s a Marvel boy. How funny is that? I don’t think I’ve seen more than five Marvel films and this guy lives and breathes them. I ended up telling him how I thought he hated me when we first met and apparently he thought that I hated him! How funny is that!? He said he gets nervous talking to girls he likes, and when I walked away, he thought he’d messed up. It was really endearing. Long story short, I gave him my number. I think we’re going to hang out in a few days or something. 

June 26

Okay, don’t freak out but I think I’m actually really into Tyler? He’s really easy to talk to. I feel like I can say the most private stuff and he actually listens. We keep meeting up at Billy’s Bagels and talking for ages. He told me about this car crash he got into and I told him about the time me and Mimsy tried to go hitch-hiking and she was convinced we got in a serial killer’s car. He also leaves me these little notes on the receipts. Cute little things. But it’s so confusing, because he won’t make a move. Like, we’ll be sitting side by side and he won’t put a hand on my leg or pull me close. And he never tries to hold my hand. Hasn’t kissed me. Barely hugged me. It makes me wonder if I’m reading everything wrong. I’m just so tired of being the person who always makes the first move and I want him to just do something! I want to know if he feels the same way as me. 

June 28

I’m about to lose my fucking mind. I swear to God, I’m this close to being done with this whole thing. One minute, Tyler’s talking to me like crazy and making me laugh, and laughing at my jokes, and the next, he’s acting like he’s never seen me before in his life. I took Mimsy’s advice, the other night, and when we were walking back, I really dragged it out. And I stood there for ages, outside my house, waiting for him to make a move. We’d spent the whole day together. Got food, went surfing. Then he hugs me. He fucking hugs me. I was livid. I was absolutely furious. I just started walking to my house. And then, I have no idea why, I turned around and chased him down and grabbed him and kissed him. Okay, I basically ran away straight after, but I kissed him. So, great, right? Now we’re on the same page, surely? I mean, he kissed me back. Well, me and Mimsy go out the next day (now that she no longer feels like a corpse) and we walk past Tyler and his friend. I smile at him and wave and he walks straight past us. Mimsy - who said I was overthinking everything - was furious. I think she wanted to run across the road and rip his balls of his body in that moment, to be honest. All I could think about was how awful it felt. It was like last night never even happened. Did I assault him? I mean, did I read this whole thing wrong? He said he liked me, that’s why he was scared to talk to me, but then he fucking ignores me after I full-on kiss him!? I'm just so confused and losing my patience. I'm starting to wonder if it's worth all of this.

June 30

Mimsy tried to cheer me up by taking me to a kegger. Shock horror: Tyler was there. He came up to me about an hour in and asked if I wanted to go for a walk, so I said yes. We ended up at that lake near Molly’s house, and we were looking at the stars. I don’t really remember how or why we got there. Then, out of the blue, he apologised. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy apologise to me before. He said he was an idiot for not kissing me the other day, and that he was just nervous and really wanted to. Then he kissed me, properly, and it was perfect. I’ve never felt that way before. I think he’s redeemed himself. I’m a little scared to tell Mimsy though…

July 19

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I got busy. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Tyler, honestly. We’ve been getting to know each other better. He introduced me to his friends and his mom, who apparently really liked me. I’ve been subjected to so much fucking country music. He doesn’t really compliment me though and it’s a little bit upsetting, I can't lie. I like hearing that kind of thing. Like we went for dinner the other night and I made a bit of an effort and he didn’t call me pretty once. Maybe I’m overthinking it. He’s more of a physical affection guy, to be honest. But still. It would be nice to hear it every now and then. He can handle his drink really well though. In fact, he drank Mimsy under the table the other day which was quite funny. He gets all touchy feely when he’s drunk, it’s so cute. He told me that he’s never opened up to someone like he has with me before. Told me things that he’s never told anyone else. He told me about his ex-girlfriend and how she was crazy. I feel so bad for him, that he was in that kind of situation. He laughs at all my stupid jokes. He even told me that nobody else has made him laugh so much before. I don’t know, I get all mushy when he says things like that. I feel like I’m bringing him out of his shell. He said his anxiety is a lot better since he met me, so I guess whatever I’m doing, it’s helping. 

July 24

I slept with Tyler hehe. It was so perfect. He was so caring and kept asking if I was okay and stuff, and I brought up the whole compliment thing and he apologised. He’s so good at taking accountability for when he’s done wrong - it’s so refreshing. He told me I have the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. I don’t know why that hit me so much. I just think you can tell so much about a person from their eyes. They never age. I'm scared a s fuck though because I really think I might be falling in love with him. Oh no.

August 8

I don’t really have tons to say. Mom and dad got in a big argument yesterday, so there’s that. Mimsy thinks they should just get divorced. It feels weird, thinking about your parents getting divorced. The whole two Christmases and two birthday thing. I don't know, maybe she’s right. They basically hate each other. Dad keeps bringing up North Carolina and how great everything is there. How his life was so much better. Charming, really, when I’ve spent my whole life in Vancouver with him. Really makes you feel special. Tyler’s been kind of busy lately. I keep wanting to go on dates but he just wants to stay in. He told me he doesn’t like PDA. It makes him feel weird. I want to hold his hand but I feel bad. I mean, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Besides, I get to touch him all I want when we’re at home together, so who really cares? 

October 14

Tyler hasn’t called me pretty in over a month. I told him and he apologised. He still hasn’t called me pretty. I miss how it was in the summer. It feels like he’s retreating into himself. I don’t know what’s happening. Why everything is changing? What did I do wrong? I didn't change, did I? 

November 19

I think I was overthinking it all lately. Tyler just invited me to join him and his family at Christmas on Victoria Island. He left me a little note, too, after he stayed at my house. It was really cute. It said, ‘I miss stargazing with you in the summer’. Mimsy says that maybe I need to clarify a few things with him. Set some more boundaries. He always talks about those girls on the hockey team he coaches, and whenever girls come up to him when he’s out with his friends. I like that he trusts me and wants to tell me these things, but also, if I trust him, why does he feel the need to tell me? It feels like he’s dangling it in my face almost. I don’t know, I’m probably thinking about it all wrong. I don’t know if I’ve got a stomach bug. My IBS has been crazy bad lately. It’s so annoying. 

December 6

I don’t think I’m happy with Tyler anymore. It’s like he’s a completely different person. I hardly even recognise him. We don’t really talk anymore like we used to. He says he’s really busy with school and coaching. I'm throwing myself into photography jobs to try and keep myself busy or else I just spiral. I don't want to tell Mimsy because I know what her advice will be. And I'm just not ready to face that yet.  

December 26

I leave for Victoria Island today. I’m meeting Tyler at the ferry station. He asked where I wanted to meet and I left it up to him at first. I mean, the obvious answer is the ferry station. That’s romantic. He can come pick me up. But he said, ‘whatever you prefer’ so I felt like I was putting him out by asking him to meet me at the ferry station. I don’t know. I just don’t even know if he wants me to go anymore. He hasn’t said. He hasn’t even said if he’s excited to see me. It’s an awful feeling, when you feel like someone doesn’t care if you’re there or not. Maybe it’ll be different when I see him in person. It’s been over a week since I last saw him and we haven’t been able to talk on the phone. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just kidding myself. I just think if I’m painfully honest with myself, I don’t want to go to Victoria anymore. 

December 27

I think it's over. 

December 29

I don’t even know what happened. I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like I need to get it all out on paper and just walk away from it forever. I think that’s the only way I can even start to make sense of the last six months. It was awful. I fucking hate him and I’m so fucking confused. Jesus, I have been for the past four months. 

Tyler didn’t hug me or kiss me when I got off the ferry, but I guess because he doesn’t like PDA that’s a given. He didn’t introduce me to any of his extended family and left me to fend for myself in conversations. When we first got to the cabin, he sat on the bed and scrolled on his phone with his back facing me for an hour. A fucking hour. Then he went on Duolingo and checked the fucking hockey scores. And I just sat there for an hour after paying for a ferry ticket. Oh, yeah, cause he didn’t pay for any of my travel. When I said I was hungry and was going to get food, he came with me and got himself something. Again, didn’t pay for me. We got his favourite take out. It’s always things he wants to do. I told him I needed a nap and went to my room, and I called Mimsy who was equally as angry. I mean, why the fuck did he call me out there? I’ve never felt so disrespected, so unwanted, in my life. It’s fucking awful. Tyler texted me to meet him and I told him I wanted to stay in. He asked if I was okay and I told him I was angry, and he came to my room. And he was so fucking calm and collected it made me feel like I was overthinking it. Like I was the one blowing everything out of proportion. I told him about how I felt like I wasn’t wanted and he told me that I was. He just said it was weird seeing me in person again. It had been a fucking week. We went out with his family and I put on a brave face, and the whole time he barely spoke to me. Didn’t look at me, didn’t hold my hand, didn’t take a picture of me or of us. I hated it. When I got back to my room, he came over and laid down on the bed. And I told him I was so confused. He just nodded. And he was back to old Tyler. Chatty, familiar Tyler who makes jokes with me and compliments me. He told me how beautiful I was and how pretty my eyes are and all I could think was how he hadn’t said any of that for two whole months. How for two months I felt like I had no idea what was happening. And it made me weak. I hate myself for it but I let him kiss me. We made out and cuddled and it felt like old times, and I finally felt normal again. And then we fell asleep, woke up, and he was back to how he was the day before. Distant and cold and confusing. I think that was when I decided that maybe it was time to leave. 

When we slept together that night, it felt like he almost knew what was going to happen. All of it felt like a goodbye. I tried to enjoy it and feel close to him but I just felt so far away. Afterwards, he didn’t hold me. He didn’t cuddle me when we slept and the next morning, he barely looked at me. He just went on his phone when all I wanted was to be held. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from him, to feel held by him, and he’s never made me feel like I was. I mean, I feel more love from Mimsy than him. How fucked is that.

He walked me to the ferry station and I was wondering what to do. What to say. Whether to confront him and see if I could start a fight. Jesus, anything would do. And for whatever fucking reason, I went for the hail Mary, I guess you could say. I stood there, like the fucking idiot I am, and I told him I loved him. And you know what he said? Nothing.

He said absolutely nothing. 

Then he just nodded - like the useless asshole he is - and told me, get ready for this one, that his ‘family thought I was really nice’. 

I don’t even remember what I did then. All I can remember is sitting on the ferry and texting Mimsy, asking her to pick me up from the ferry station. 

I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why this happened, or how, or who he was. He apologised the next day. What for, I don’t even know anymore. Maybe all of it? But all I can remember thinking, when I read that text, was how I just knew he didn’t mean it. It was fucking Pavlovian by that point: he would know I was upset and apologise, and I’d forgive him and believe that he might change, and we’d carry on. What's the Taylor Swift lyric? You're an expert at sorry? That's him in a nutshell.

You want to know the real kicker? When I told him that I wanted to break up, he told me he didn’t know we were even together like that. So, I ask you again: who the fuck was he? I don’t think I’m ever gonna know. 

January 1

Happy new year. I think Tyler’s blocked me. 

February 9

Mimsy just heard from Darren P that Tyler has a new girlfriend. I think I’m going to throw up. I can’t do this anymore. I just want to forget about all of it but I keep thinking of all the little things that I ignored. All the signs from the start. How it took him to be drunk to even acknowledge that I existed. How it was always on his terms. What he wanted to do. What he needed from me. I wish I never slept with him. I wish he never touched my body. It makes me feel sick that I let him sleep with me that last night. I just feel so fucking used and dirty. Mimsy says it wasn’t my fault but I can’t shake this guilt for not leaving sooner, because the signs were always there. I mean, I thought he hated me. Why the fuck didn’t I walk away sooner?

I thought he hated me. 

That’s the final entry. 

You sit and stare at the barely filled page and then snap the book closed as if you just read how the world is going to end.

The condensing of the turbulent six months you spent with Tyler in a handful of diary entries fails to capture the mass of anxiety, paranoia and pain. The restless nights that you remedied by sprinting at the gym. The meals you skipped because you felt sick to your stomach. The parties ruined when you ended them in alcohol-provoked tears, sobbing to Mimsy about how things felt ‘off’ with you and Tyler. The humiliation you felt throughout the holidays and the disgust that lingered after your final night together. The shame that haunted you for letting yourself do all of that, feel all of that, lose all of that, to some fucking deadbeat guy. 

Because that was what it all came down to. It came down to the fact that you let yourself sit there and take it. That because you felt pity for him, and saw potential, you stayed and fought and tried. God, you tried so hard to mould him into the man you thought he could be without looking at his credentials. And now, on the other side of the continent, several months past the whole affair, you finally realise what it was. 

You fell in love with the idea of Tyler, not Tyler himself. 

It's like the revelation hits you in the head like a hammer. Resets your thoughts. Grabbing the box of things, you head down the stairs. It feels as though you’re not in control of your body. Unlocking the back door, you head into the yard. Ditch the box so you can set up the bonfire, igniting it with the lighter JJ gave you. 

You’re breathing heavily as you stare at the flames. It’s like you’ve been boxing in a ring. You guess, in a way, you have. But you’re tired of battling with the past. Fighting against the memories only to get knocked down, again and again. Wounding you so badly that you can’t face the fact that maybe someone might actually care about you, just as much as you care about them. That maybe you can trust someone. 

When you burn the first photo, you feel a little insane. You never much believed in any of the mindfulness crap Instagram wellness influencers preached. The writing-regrets-on-a-plate-and-smashing-it-up type things. But as you stand, burning the memories of Tyler - anything that reminds you of him, anything that he gave you, anything that he took - you feel like you’re coming back to yourself, piece by piece. Watching the embers lick up his face, crackling until its nothing but ashes and indistinguishable remnants feels like healing, plain and simple.  

The only thing that’s left now is the diary. You hold it in your hands like it’s a first-edition copy of the first book ever written. It feels like the manuscript, encapsulating the entire torrid affair of you and Tyler. The final artefact of your silently toxic relationship, keeping you tethered to your past trauma. Swallowing, you toss it into the metal canister. When you open them again, you see the flames already laying claim to the pages. 

And finally, for the first time, the story feels as though it isn’t yours anymore.

For the first time in months, you feel free.

read part ten here!

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[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Mad Love Chapter 21

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

To decide my future as his lover, Roger gave me one final trial.

—However, I was still unaware of one unshakeable truth hidden from me.

--

Alfons: I wonder if that man’s revealed something important to Kate.

Elbert: Something important?

Alfons: The cost that comes with that man’s egoistic way of life.

Elbert: …

There was a hint of sorrow in Elbert’s downcast eyes.

Elbert: Is that…something that will make Kate sad if she knew?

Alfons: Yes, if you were to liken it to a fairytale… It is the worst kind of ending.

--

Roger and I started working making an antidote for the condemned.

…But making it was more difficult than we imagined.

Roger: …The hell…

We had repeated the experiment many times, but it always failed whenever we got close.

Roger: Ahhh, can’t even find a clue.

(Roger looks so troubled…)

Roger: …The Privy Council and the Royal Hospital’s doctors used my research materials to synthesize a drug and then were poisoned by it. Meaning, if we reverse engineer it, then we can make an antidote.

Roger sighed as he thought over his past experiments.

Roger: But we haven’t been able to. What are your thoughts, Kate?

(Thinking about it in simple terms…)

Kate: We made a mistake along the way. Or…Oh, perhaps our process has been wrong since the beginning? What if they used a method other than what’s in your research…!?

Roger: Yeah, well…that could be why we can’t make an antidote. It’s highly likely those guys combined my research with “someone else’s”.

Kate: What do you mean “someone else”?

Roger: If I knew, then it wouldn’t have been this difficult.

Meanwhile, the criminals’ symptoms were getting worse. Worst case scenario, they die before they can even be condemned.

(Like Roger said, we “ can’t let them run away by dying”)

(We need an antidote immediately…)

Time was limited.

I frowned as I started getting impatient…

Kate: Wooooah…

Roger’s pressed against the crease between my brows with a finger.

Kate: What was that for?

Roger: It was messing up my cute puppy’s face. Your earnest nature’s a good trait, but don’t overthink.

We’re already short on time

But I’m feeling frustrated

I don’t want regrets… +4 +4

Kate: I don’t want regrets…

Roger: Time’s running out so how ‘bout we don’t think for now. That’s how most would feel, right? Though surprisingly, taking a step back can be a shortcut.

Roger grinned.

Roger: So how ‘bout you take a break and run an errand for me?

Kate: An errand?

Roger: Yeah, it’s a kind of errand only you can do. I’m gonna keep researching, but I got someone to go with you—

Before he could even finish his sentence, the lab’s door opened.

Alfons: What is it. Why are you calling people over all of a sudden?

Roger: …See?

(—Alfons of all people?!)

--

The errand Roger wanted me to run was—

To buy flowers to lay on Lance’s grave at the public cemetery.

It was something I didn’t manage to do the other day because I got kidnapped.

(The fact that I wasn’t able to visit Lance’s grave was something that’s always lingered in the back of my mind)

(Roger must have noticed and decided to send me on this “errand”)

Despite how straightforward he was, Roger looked after others.

Kate: …

I placed the flowers in front of his grave and closed my eyes.

In my mind I saw Lance’s faint smile. He had left this world without knowing that he was cursed.

(...Rest in peace)

(May you meet your sweetheart in heaven)

I then opened my eyes and twilight winds swept my hair.

I followed where the wind blew as I looked over the graves.

(So many people are resting here…)

It would be nice if all deaths could end with a “happily ever after” as beautiful as the and the ones in fairytales. 

However, life wasn’t that simple.

(I wonder how many people lost their live while holding despair in their hearts)

Kate: …

When an inescapable sadness gripped at my heart—

Kate: Woah! Hey! What do you think you’re doing Alfons?

I quickly covered my ear and the person who had just breathed on it frowned in disapproval.

Alfons: Oh my, what an accusatory reaction. Had you been feeling sentimental for any longer, you may have been taken to the underworld. I was only bringing you back to reality.

Kate: …Um, thank you?

I was baffled, but thanked him and Alfons gave a shady smile.

Alfons: Yes, of course. You’re welcome. —By the way, Kate. Your month as Fairytale Keeper will be over soon. You will be out of the darkness and free! Please forget everything you’ve witnessed here and have a fresh start. Work hard once you’ve returned to your old life.

(Huh…)

I blinked like an idiot at his wide smile.

Kate: Um, I don’t have any plans on leaving Crown or my position as Fairytale Keeper.

(I haven’t told anyone about this, not even Roger)

(Why did Alfons bring this up…?)

Alfons: Meaning?

Kate: I still haven’t received Victor’s approval yet, so this is just my personal wish, but… I would like to continue being Fairytale Keeper after the month has passed. And I want to help Roger with his ongoing research on the Cursed.

I had planned to tell Roger that after we finished with the antidote.

Alfons: Though this decision is typical of an earnest woman such as yourself, it’s difficult for me to understand. Our curses are of no relevance to your life.

Kate: No relevance?

Alfons continued, no warmth in his voice at all.

Alfons: Yes, in the end, it’s someone else’s business. Did you know that you cannot work for the sake of others forever?

Kate: …It’s true that I’m not cursed. And I may never fully understand them. But…this isn’t someone else’s business. We met and you became someone important to me.

Alfons: …

Kate: Also, I’m not just saying this out of altruism.

(There isn’t a single part of me thinking about sacrificing myself…)

My desire is—

Kate: I’m…definitely the one that wants to see Roger overcome despair the most. 

Alfons: That muscle-glasses egoist is leaving your valuable life with. I find it difficult to believe. You haven’t forgotten about our fated “tragic ends” have you?

Kate: Well—

I was about to tell him that it wasn’t something I’ve ever forgotten about, but a sense of discomfort held me back.

Alfons: Roger is doomed to be “ruined by his own guilt”... I do wonder what sort of destruction awaits him. Ah, it’s horrifying to even imagine it.

(...There’s something strange)

(Alfons has had nothing but harsh words today)

(It’s like he’s trying to make me mad…)

Normally, I’d feel offended if someone doubted what I said in confidence and tried to discourage me.

(Yet, I don’t feel angry or annoyed)

Instead, it was like he—

(It was like he was trying to free me from getting my feelings hurt. At least, that’s what it felt like to me)

Kate: …Alfons. Is there a reason why you’re trying to stop me from continuing on as Fairytale Keeper?

Alfons: …Aha! Do you think I’m some sort of saint?

Kate: Please don’t avoid the subject.

There were still many more truths I didn’t know about them and Crown.

(Even so…)

Kate: I’m a Fairytale Keeper. …I may be inexperienced, but I do know that you’re the type to hurt people.

Alfons: You insist on believing that there is good in me. I like your views. Then, I shall live up to your troublesome expectations. —Kate.

His voice when he said my name carried a different feeling from before.

Alfons: If that man did not have very long to live, would you still choose to stay by his side?

Kate: ——Huh?

--

When we returned from visiting the cemetery, I stood in front of Crown Castle.

(I need to go back to researching, quickly…)

But what Alfons said continued replaying in my head and I couldn’t move.

(...I can’t go back inside yet. Not when I’m not sure if I can act normal in front of Roger)

At that moment—

Ale: Woof.

As if to rescue me, a cute, fluffy mass came running toward me.

I picked Ale up and headed to the palace library.

(There’s not a lot of people around, it’s quiet, and I’m less likely to run into someone)

(Let’s calm down for the time being…)

I walked around and browsed the shelves to distract myself.

However—Alfons’ words still continued to replay in my head.