#hello????? why has this escalated so fast

[islayhawkin]

Let me take care of you

Newt x f!reader (clint x jeff mentioned- if you don't ship it just ignore it lol)

2,8k

Summery: newt accidentally overhears you talking about liking him but he thinks you were talking about minho

Request: Hello can you do a newt x fem!reader when the reader is a medjack and talk about (I forget if it’s Clint or Jeff) how she is love with him but she didn’t realize he was behind her ? Please

Misunderstandings; hurt/comfort, angst

A/N: okay this escalated pretty quick into angst whoops

Can be read as a part 2 of 'let me help you'

It was a usual morning in the glade. The runners were getting ready to start their rounds. Alby started to wake everyone up and frypan made breakfest ready.

You and jeff on the other hand were already in the med-hut to check up on a slicer who almost got his arm chopped off yesterday. Jeff held his fingers to the boys neck.

"He's still alive."

You hummed in relief.

"Lost much blood?"

You collected the things to change the bandage on the young boys arm.

"Nah seems pretty good."

You handed jeff a container of warmed up water and a cloth. "Thanks" jeff muttered as he began removing the blood soaked bandage from the arm. You sat down next to the bed and gave jeff a helping hand whenever he needed.

"How are things with clint?" You gave Jeff a teasing grin. Jeff sighed.

"There are no 'things' between me and clint." But he gave up long ago to deny it convincingly in front of you.

"You looked shucking cute cuddled up yesterday evening." You grinned as you took the dirty cloth and water bowl from him.

Jeff scoffed. "Oh yeah what about you lovebirds then? I'm pretty sure you two were the ones cuddled up. Half the glade was probably jealous." He took the new bandage from your hand. A blush coated your cheeks but you smiled softly at the memory. "Yeah we were quite close yesterday."

You realised that the boy jeff was currently treating was still fast asleep. "Nothing wakes him up does it?" You pointed to him.

Jeff chuckled. "He sleeps like a rock. But don't try to distract me. I'm telling you, you need to ask him out."

"Because you're the expert in that?" You raised your brow.

Jeff rolled his eyes and sat down too after finishing the bandage. "No. Because it is so clearly obvious to everyone. Do you know why the boys don't try anything anymore with you?"

You blinked confused. "No...?" "Newt threatens them. They're afraid they'll be banished or beaten to a pulp if they try something with you."

You were speachless for a moment. "What...? No newt doesn't do that... I know he's protective. That's why they set up the rules but he never uses violence."

"Well he does when you are involved. You remember how gally was brought in with a bashed in face? That was newt. Gally, as gally is, apperently said a lot of disrespectful stuff about you which he could not tolerate."

Your heart beat a bit faster. Newt did this for you? You knew newt avoided violence and stuck to order as much as he was capable off. And that he completely neglected these believes as soon as you were involved was weirdly...sweet.

"So I'm telling you- he cares about you very deeply. Almost concerningly so. And everyone of the boys is aware how you two look at eachother."

You couldn't contain your bright smile. "I never knew that. That is very sweet." You sighed dreamily. "He's just so adorable."

Jeff laughed quietly. "I tell you he's beaten someone up and you call him adorable?"

You glare at him with a pout. "You know that's not what I mean. He's just- so handsome. Even when his hair is touseled of sweat at the end of the day. I don't know how he does it. I could listen to his voice all day too. Every time I see him I just want to squeeze him out of excitment."

"I'm sure he is." Jeff muttered with a grin.

"He always looks out for everyone and rather neglects his own needs than others. I'd rather he wouldn't but I like that about him. He also has everything in control. I mean alby is the leader but he's the leader in the background. He always notices when something is wrong and asks about it. When he laughs he has these really cute crinkles on his nose. Sorry I'm rambling."

Jeff leaned forward. "Then do something about it. Honestly in the eyes of everyone you're already-"

Newt cleared his throat as he stood awkwardly in the doorway of the med-hut. He had walked in a minute ago and heard you talking about someone. At first he thought you might actually be talking about him but his self-consciousness told him you were probably talking about minho. You two always were so close. Minho was a phisical guy. He was muscular. Had great humor. Of course newt understood why you'd fall for minho. After all it was his best friend. But it still stung. A lot.

Newt didn't mean to eavesdrop but he couldn't really find a good moment to interrupt until he couldn't stand hearing more.

His face showed a friendly expression but his eyes wouldn't meet your face.

You on the other hand were turning around to look at newt with wide eyes. You didn't know how long he stood there. How much he heard. If he even heard anything so you tried to slow your heartbeat and act normally.

Jeff glanced between you two as if he was watching a very interesting story unfold before his eyes.

"I uh. I need to get some supplies for the runners. They're about to start. But maybe you'd like to bring it yourself to minho?"His eyes were lowered to the ground.

"Yes of course. No problem." You hastily stood up and collected the small supplies for the runners. As soon as you finished speaking newt was already gone again.

You stilled as you realised this and turned to jeff with wide eyes. "Do you think he heard?"

"He heard something."

"Why did he storm off then?"

Jeff raised his shoulders. "You should probably go talk to him."

***

You did try and talk to him but after the encounter Newts behavior changed. He clearly tried to avoid you. He was a lot more in his room. Even locked up so alby couldn't get in to sleep. He almost worked aggressively hard as a track-hoe. Not stopping to work at dinner time and starting to work before the others were even up.

The others noticed too of course. Newt was the glue after all. Without Newts full help the glade got into a more chaotic state. Alby needed to scream around a lot more. He even seemed to be angry at newt for acting this way.

He didn't come to the med-hut anymore. Neither for his limp nor to pick you up for sleep.

For you and frankly everybody else it was a unreasonable change of behavior. You knew the things he overheard in the med-hut were the trigger for this but you could not fathom why he'd be so distraught because of it.

But to Newt it was perfectly reasonable. You were in love with minho and the latter obviously in love with you. The whole glade seemed to be. You were the only girl. What chance did he have.Newt saw it clearly. You always were with minho. Sometimes even disapearing with him into the woods. He didn't even want to think about what you did. You always kissed minhos cheek. Hugged him a lot. Minho always flirted with you.

And it was even worse that minho was his best friend. He loved minho dearly. They've been through everything together. And he couldn't bare the thought of losing you both when you two were so close.

This reaction to the pain he felt in his chest may have seemed overdramatic to a outsider but to newt it wasn't only about 'not getting a chance with you'. It made him realise that the love he felt for you, the hope you gave him, was all in his head. He needed your love. Desperately. And he didn't know how to cope without it again.

This worried you. A lot.The behavior reminded you of the time after his incident. How you first got to know him after waking up in the glade. He seemed broken then and he did now.It made you realise that nothing really changed about newt. He was still that small kid that you first met.

What worried you even more was his self-harming behavior. Not taking any consideration about the state of his body.

He didn't stop working even when alby told him to. Sometimes he didn't show up for dinner because of it. You always took a extra ration from frypan and brought it up to his room.

You knocked softly on the locked wooden door. "Newt?" There was no answer. "Newt I brought you dinner. You need to eat something."

Silence.

You almost layed the plate down in front of the door again when the door opened a bit.

Newt couldn't help but take that glimpse of your care.

You gave him a smile. "Hey." You held the plate out in front of you. "Here. You missed dinner."

Newt took the plate from your hands hesitantely and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Thanks."

Before he could close the door again you held the door open with your foot. "Newt what's wrong? I know I've been asking this constantly the last few days but I worry about you. The whole glade does. You're not acting like yourself." Your voice was soft.

He shrugged carelessly. "Maybe I just have my period." He tried to joke. You were glad he attempted a joke again. But you also knew it was his way of distracting of the matter at hand.

You gave him a look. "We both know that is not the reason."

Newt sighed. "There is nothing wrong. I'd like to sleep."

You scanned his face desperate for a answer. "Is all this about what you heard me talking about?"

Newt froze up. "I never heard anythin'. Good night." He closed the door and locked it. He leaned his back against the door and took deep breaths. Blinking away tears.The situation didn't stop him from defending you though. On the contrary. He got more angry. More irretable. The usual calm and collected newt was overcome with a more emotional one.

Minho and alby gave you a explicit instruction to get throught to him at breakfast table that morning.

And you were determined to do so today. This has been going on for a few days too long for your liking. When you made your way over to the gardens in search of him the sign you were met with made a stabbing pain in your heart. Newt was working in the garden as usual. Pulling vegatables out, getting new fertilizer, sowing new ones. You normally loved watching him work. But today the pain was evident on his face. His limp finally catching up with the pressure he was constantly putting on it. You saw him stumble a few times but he pushed through obviously.

Until he just...collapsed. His leg gave out under him. You could see him staying layed on the ground. His face on the earth. Exhausted. Suddenly his lanky frame you oh so loved looked a bit too skinny for your liking.

You hurriedly made your way over to him. When he noticed you he tried to scramble up fastly which only made his limp buckle under his weight again. He cursed under his breath.You kneeled down beside him and gripped his arm and a hand around his waist. "Shuck newt. What are you doing..."

"I'm fine. I'm fi-" he struggled to get up again with the few strength he had left.

You pulled him down against you by the waist again. "Stop it." There was a plea in your voice. "Stop it newt. You're hurting yourself."

He still struggled against your hold. "Let go. There is nothing...wrong" his voice cracked.

You didn't let him go. He turned his head away from you as a tear rolled down his cheek and he started to shake slightly.

Everything hurt him. His body. His mind. Only your soft touch gave him comfort.

"Shh." You turned his head to you gently. He didn't meet your eye but you could see in them the pain he was in. You wiped the tear away with your thumb.

"Come on. I'll take care of you." You stroked a dirty strand of hair out of his face and helped him stand up. A lot of his weight leaned on you as you led him into the med-hut. Clint looked up startled when he saw you carry a half limp newt in.

"Out." You ordered him but added a thankful smile.

Clint nodded with a glance at newt and scrambled out of the hut. Newt let himself fall down onto a bed. You took a blanket and tucked him into it, started to boil water on the fire and pushed another pillow under his head.

"I will be right back. Don't go anywhere." Newt watched how you gave him a sweet smile and made your way outside again.You came back with a bowl of food and a bottle of water, shut the door to the med-hut to build as much privacy as possible.

You sat yourself down on the side of his bed and showed him your loot. "What do you want?" A loving smile thrown his way.

"Carrot" he cracked out.

You put the rest of the food aside and handed him the carrot. He moved up to rest his back against the wall and hesitantely began to eat the carrot under your careful watch. The silence engulfed the room for a while only the cracks of the carrot being heard.

You made a heating pad with the boiling water meanwhile and pulled the leg of newts trousers up to gently lay the warm pad onto his throbbing knee.

You did what you always did. Care for him. Take care of him. He had missed this terribly. But he hadn't forgotten what had happened.

He looked at you a long moment. Watched your every move. He felt like he hadn't been able to look at you proberly for way too long. "Do you-" he swallowed. "Do you like my voice too?" His voice was timid. He wasn't sure why he chose that detail to ask.

"What?" You ask perplexed and looked up at his face.

"Nevermind" his voice was still raw.

"Of course I like your voice. How do you come to that question?"

Newt didn't know how to answer that question so he stayed silent.

You sighed and slid nearer to him on the bed. "Newt what's wrong? Please tell me. You are in a horrible condition. I'm worried. Everyone is worried."

"I- heard you. The other day. Talking about minho. You should give him a go if you feel that way about him."

You blinked. To you his talk was making none sense at all.

"but uh-" he swallowed. "Can I still come to you if you...?"

You frowned. "I'm not sure what you're talking about newt. Of course you can come to me. Always. You know that. But what has this to do with minho-?" The words now registered completely in your brain. "You think I was talking about Minho?"

Newt looked away painfully. "Yes I suppose it was obvious for a while..."

You shook your head in realisation. "Newt."

His eyes snapped up to yours. "I wasn't talking about minho. I was talking about you."

Newt thought he hadn't heard right. "W-what?"

"Yes. I mean minho is great. I love him too. But he's not you."

"You like all that about...me ?"

"Of course. You are...amazing." You laughed quietly.

Newt was speechless.

Your heart was beating a lot more faster than normally but you tried to ignore it. Taking a deep breath. "May I...lay with you?" You whispered.

He never wanted- needed anything more. But his brain was in freeze and he could only nod his head.

You cautiously layed down next to him and crawled your body under the blanket too. You were very clode to eachother. You could feel the presence of his body next to you. He felt himself relax in the presense of your body next to him. Your small breath tickling his cheek.

You decided to let your instincts take over and slid your hand around his waist gingerly. Newts body tensed up and he sucked in a small breath at the sudden contact.

"Thank you." He breathed out. His body relaxing again.

"For what?" You whispered.

"Loving me. Pulling me out. Caring for me. Without you I'd probably would have taken another go at that jump long ago." His self humor shone through.

You smiled but lightly squeezed him. "Don't joke about that. I'm glad you feel that way. Thank you too."

"For what?" He retorted my own question back.

"Being you. Looking out for me. I heard the boys were threatened by you?"

A blush formed on his cheeks. "Yeah they were saying disrespectful stuff and I can't let them wander around thinking they can try whatever they want with you."

You smiled. "Always holding the order up."

"It's my job." You looked at his big brown eyes.

"Please don't punish yourself like this again. Don't shut yourself off like this. I'm not sure why you're punishing yourself. You don't have to tell me. But I don't want you to do it. Please? At least talk to me."

"I'll try."

[aimseytv]

please rant about bubbline, i need a win

the brilliance of bubbline has been vastly misunderstood for years and i’ll explain. people see bubbline as your standard sapphic couple with no real depth, people see the pairing and go ‘gfs’ and move on HOWEVER they are so much more than just girlfriends. they are two immortal beings who for years have been wrapped around the other fingers and have had a relationship based on miscommunication until wrapping that up during the stakes era (varmints s7 is what confirms this but we get into that later)

so the entirety of bubbline is based on miscommunication and you may be wondering: aimsey, how? well that’s because of the fact both of the pair believed the other was in the wrong. but, for us to discuss this, i must explain their relationship in its entirety. we understand how long their relationship has truly been going on for when there is a clip in obsidian distant lands (ODS) where bubblegum catches marcys rock tshirt, both when the pairing are younger or well “a longer time ago” - this shows how long they’ve truly been in each others lives. now, fast forward to the scene we get in ODS where marceline and bubblegum argue over the sense of power, as well as immaturity. we see marceline wanting to just hang with her girlfriend, while in a disruptive manner, meant no harm, and we see bubblegum attempting to focus on work while accidentally shutting marceline down in the process. that quickly escalates into a full blown argument, and quotes like “you’re acting like monster trash” is thrown at marceline which, marcy being an angsty little half demon, didn’t take too lightly in which she responded to the comment with a song that basically says “nvm. you’re not cool. i’m glad i woke up. fuck you and your candy kingdom” and it ends with bubblegum breaking up with marcy. sad right? you haven’t seen anything yet

so now we move on to the tv show. the first we see of the two is the episode ‘go with it’ where marcy is asked to help finn in his adventure to try and ask out the princess. you may be wondering “huh? but if bubblegum is her ex why would she help-“ WRONG! because she doesn’t help! she gives finn completely wrong advice which ends in finn getting thrown out of the candy kingdom. the interaction between the two during this episode is bitter, where we see marceline speak in a high pitched tone and say ‘hello bonnibel’ almost mockingly, in response to bubblegums ‘hey marceline..’ which is incredibly stand offifish. from the get go, we know something happened between them (and with obvious clues now we know the timeline but as a first time viewer, this random episode in s1 can confuse everyone because why do these two characters have beef we don’t know about?)

now, moving onto an important core episode in their timeline which is ‘what was missing’ in season 3. one of the most popular adventure time episodes, and one of the most popular bubbline moments where we see bubblegum and marcy being forced to be together due to finn and jake attempting to take down a “door lord” that includes all of the teams prized possessions. (tldr: little gremlin dude stole jake, finn, bubblegum and marcelines* top favourite and most memorable items.. we will get back to this shortly). anyway, they have to sing a song of truth to get passed and with a failed attempt, marceline tries and lets say she just unleashes all the resentment and anger she’s had towards bubblegum in the form of a song! she says stuff like “i wanna drink the red from your pretty pink face”, “sorry i don’t treat you like a goddess”, and “why should i be the one to make up with you.. so why do i want to?” - indicating she WANTS to. which is probably the first time bubblegum has heard this, because bubblegums reaction is very much just “:O” the entire time. anyway, song goes on, marcy blames bubblegum for her messing up (in reality marcy only messed up because she began saying she wants to bury bubblegum but that isn’t true so the door didn’t accept it. L). anyway, they make up soon enough when finn does his little finn thing and everything is fine.. until bubblegum tries to go against the door lord with a “calculation” which appears to be false and it messes everything up - marcy uses this failure of hers to kinda rub it in her face, watching the princess fail was a positive in marcelines eyes as she was used to seeing bubblegum put work before her so of course she will use any moment of bonnie messing up as a win. she says “looks like you aren’t as perfect as you thought..” which has bonnie respond with “i never said you had to be perfect!” .. OUCHIE!! this leads to them getting upset, finn doing a little sing song which actually opens the door, and them getting their stuff back.. YIPPEE! now, you may be wondering “what was the stuff bubbline had stolen from them?” WELLLL LEMME TELL YOU. bubblegums most prized possession was THE ROCK T-SHIRT that MARCY GAVE HER years ago. marceline blushes as she says “you.. kept the shirt i gave you?” and bubblegum replies “yeah it uh.. means a lot to me” and marcy asks why because bonnie never wears it, to which bonnie replies “i wear it all the time. as panama’s.” .. NOTHING MORE GAY THAN SLEEPING IN YOUR EXES SHIRT THEY GAVE YOU THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR THIS!!!! anyway, marcy didn’t actually *have* an item stolen from her and instead it seems she just wanted to hang out with the team, more importantly wanted to hang out with her pink haired ex girlfriend. good stuff!

anyway, next important interaction i’m highlighting comes from the season 5 episode ‘sky witch’ (there is a lot of smaller key moments but i’m jumping to this one okay moving on) anyway, there is a huge moment at the start of sky witch where bubblegum begins by.. sniffing the shirt marceline gave her.. as she wakes up, to then opening her closet to get ready for the day and we see a polaroid of the pairing IN THE CLOSET… you get my drift? anyway, it slowly moves on to marcy asking PB for help with something (in reality she needs PB to help her recover a teddy bear that was stolen from her that was given to her by her literal father figure during the mushroom war.. so it has a lot of significance. remember that). anyway, PB agrees after the tiniest of convincing and on they go! they go on this adventure, but we will skip to the end where PB magically gets the teddy back.. how? well, we don’t find out until the end of the episode where bubblegum actually traded the rock shirt marcy gave her all those years ago. why did that work you ask? because the sky witch works from the value of items, and not money value, but emotional significance.. SO IT MEANS THE ROCK SHIRT MARCY GAVE HER HAD MORE EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT AND SIGNIFICANCE THAN THE LITERAL TEDDY GIVEN TO MARCY DURING A LITERAL WAR FROM HER OWN FATHER FIGURE THAT ABANDONED HER!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

okay okay, need more information? i’ve got you! we will quickly move onto VARMINTS my favourite episode of all time. “why aimsey?” because it gives us all the answers and clues we were waiting for when it comes to PB and marcys relationship. we learn that bonnie was unaware of the reason as to why marcy believed they stopped talking and broke up, we see bonnie apologise for hurting marcy and shutting her out, and we see marceline accept her apology as the pair can finally move on and accept the past. after seven whole seasons we get closure baby! the episode is brilliant in millions of ways, as we see bonnie be vulnerable around marceline regarding her loss of the candy kingdom, we see marcy reconciling with bonnie as they travel through the tunnels the pair used to explore years and years before, and it’s just a very nice episode. we are hit with the infamous quote “bonnibel bubblegum, always so prepared.” to which bonnie replies in a stern tone “yeah, i have to be always so prepared, we can’t all just wing it!” which is almost a dig at marcelines free spirit nature, but not out of malice, out of jealousy. bonnie wishes she had that, and not the huge amount of responsibility she has been burdened with since she was barely old enough to understand what it means to be mature. marcy saying the words “is that why you stopped talking to me?” after hearing bonnie go on a rant about how responsibility is difficult always hits me in my heart because it proves marcy to this day, although being bitter about it, believes the reason bonnie shut her out was because bonnie preferred work over her and that was marcelines biggest fear (as we know from getting shut out from her mother, her father and being abandoned by simon). bonnie going “no?!” because she genuinely just didn’t even think to see that may have been the reason the two fell out; both of the pair believing it was the other that lead to the fallout and bonnie not realising it may have involved her a lot more than she thought and it wasn’t just down to marceline being immature. anyway, episode ends with bonnie apologising, marcy accepts it, and we get a very sweet moment where bonnie is vulnerable and explains she is exhausted and marcy allows her to sleep on her shoulder as she rests. very cute :)

okay now stakes the mini series is a whole new realm for stuff regarding the pairs relationship. the stakes mini series is highlighting marcelines relationship with vampirism, and is a very beautiful series i recommend everyone watches. it begins with marceline burning in the sun, and slowly moves on to her asking bonnie to help her with the procedure of turning her into a human because she no longer wants to be a vampire - huge thing to ask, and bonnie ensures she is sure, and they do the procedure. a moment from this i think about a lot is where bonnie says this while doing the procedure regarding the fact marcy will no longer be immortal: “and when you die, i’ll be the one who puts you in the ground”. i think it’s just a nice quote. anyway, there are so many key moments from stakes but i’ll highlight important ones because it’s 5 episodes jam packed of bubbline but another moment is where they are searching for one of the vampires to hunt (this’ll make more sense if you watch it but TLDR: the procedure also unleashed all the vampires marcy has defeated in her years of growing up). PB and marcy are doing jumping jacks, and marcy is explaining a dream she had where in the dream marcy was all old, but PB was still “nice and pink” - meaning marcy was dreaming of her immortality being taken away, and dreaming about how in her future when she’s old, she’s with PB and she’s grown old with her (aww). bubblegum replies “you think i’m nice?” and it’s a very sweet moment where the pair blush. marcy then explains she has a weird feeling in her stomach, and PB asks if it’s just fear and marcy explains she knows what fear feels like already, and then goes “maybe it’s.. love?” regarding what the feeling is while looking at bubblegum and ITS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT THAT DRIVES ME INSANE BECAUSE HOLY!!!! MOLY!!!!!!!! she was just hungry (lmao) and we move on! another scene is where marceline gets hurt badly, and bonnie is begging for her to wake up as she holds marcys lifeless body in her arms and it’s just a very emotional scene of bonnie begging her to wake up when she thinks marcy is about to die and it’s just very sad and beautiful. i’m gonna quickly move on towards the end of stakes as we have more to cover but during the end, marcy gets turned back into a vampire but explains she has learned a lot and she thanks bubblegum, and says the beautiful quote “thanks for helping me grow up. now i guess we get to hang out together forever” and bonnie blushes in return and it’s just such an AAHHHHH scene!!!!!

now, we are rushing towards the finale (i’m missing some very key moments but i’ve been writing this for an hour straight without stopping i will fill in the blanks later) but basically during the final episode, marcy stops bonnie and begs her not to go to war - bonnie replies she has to, and in this moment you can see marcy more so terrified that this will result in her losing bonnie for the second time due to work and she doesn’t want this. its canon at this point the pair are dating again, and we see them chit chat before moving on as the battle starts. fast forward to bonnie getting really injured, and in result of this marceline loses her literal shit and punts the monster that killed bonnie after believing her girlfriend just got smothered and really badly injured - after this, marcy is out of breath and we see bonnie sit up and whisper ‘marcy?’ in a soft tone and marcy flies over just overjoyed she is okay. marcy says “even when we weren’t talking i was scared something bad would happen to you and i wouldn’t be there to protect you” and it’s such a raw line where it’s just obvious throughout all these years marceline never truly moved on from her. marcy and her giggle and then bubbline share their first on screen kiss that made thousands of gays across the globe pass away!!!

then, we have the beautiful obsidian distant lands that gives us insight into their very healthy relationship as we learn a lot more about the pair, and we just get some beautiful shared moments between them and even them canonically calling each other girlfriends which will never not be engraved in my brain!

this was everything from the top of my head (they will be my number one hyperfixation whether i like it or not until i pass away) but yeah! tldr: miscommunication lead to them not speaking for a very long time when the pair both just wanted to be loved but didn’t know how to balance their own stuff on top of loving the other. the miscommunication lied with bonnie throwing herself into her work instead of giving marceline attention, ultimately losing marcys trust in the process, and where marceline being a free spirit lead to bonnie just not being able to work like that as she “isn’t built like that” (her own quote “people get built different. we don’t need to figure it out, we just gotta accept it”. despite it being about her brother, i like to apply it to her also here). and marceline not giving PB the credit of her being a literal ruler burdened with responsibility. both were too young i’d say, but them growing up together and allowing the other to heal in their own ways lead them to each other again :)

THAT IS THE HISTORY OF BUBBLINE BY AIMSEYTV

[angelblacksmith]

Scared (X.T)

Summary: The reader knows about his feelings for his best friend, but how mutual will they be?

Pairing: fem!reader x Xavier Thrope

Warning: little angsty, kiss, a lot off fluff

Word count: 1.1k

A/n: hello everyone! I haven't been here for a long time, but this boy made me rise from the ashes.

It shouldn't escalate into this. So you assured yourself. He was your best friend. He was always there for you when you were feeling bad. He made you happy. You didn't realize at what point your feelings turned from just friendly to romantic. But it definitely wasn't friendship. From your side, of course.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

It's been a week since you realized you were in love with a tall boy. Your relationship hasn't changed much. He was still the best person in your life. You were still his best friend. You sat together in all the lessons. After lessons, you listened to music and watched him draw. Everything was fine. And you didn't want to ruin it. You didn't want your feelings to worsen your relationship. No, that's definitely not going to happen. So you assured yourself.

You were sitting on Xavier's bed. As usual, you had to go to his creative studio. But because of the heavy rain, this was not possible. Therefore, it was decided to stay with Xavier and watch some insipid comedy.

"What are you thinking about?" Xavier lay down on the bed and waited for you to follow his example. Your laptop was in his hands, and he was choosing a movie. You were sitting on the other side of the bed. Your thoughtful gaze shifted from Xavier's hands to his shoulders and settled on his expression. Xavier was calm, his eyelashes were fluttering, and his lips were slightly pursed. Your heart beat a little faster in your chest when he looked at you. You slowly looked away and turned your back on him. "Is everything okay? You didn't answer the question." Xavier reached up to your back and stroked your spine with his fingertips. You were slouching a little. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

You shook your head negatively. Pulling a smile, you turned to the boy. "It's okay. I'm sorry I made you worry. " Xavier was definitely not satisfied with your answer, so he pushed the laptop away and sat up on the bed, being right behind you. "You haven't been yourself lately." Xavier put his arm around your shoulders. "I don't think everything is good." You exhaled wearily.

"It's okay. I'm serious." You turned around in his arms so that he could see your expression. "Are you sure?" The boy tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You abruptly moved away and jokingly pushed Xavier away and sat facing him, bending your legs into the lotus position. "I'm fine. Stop asking."

Xavier was looking at you with slightly narrowed eyes. Probably to be sure to see a hint of a lie in the expression of your face or eyes. "It's just something..."

Xavier immediately perked up and smiled noticeably relaxed. "You know you can tell me everything y/n." You nodded affirmatively. "What is this 'something'?" You exhaled and began to pick up options in your head, as if not to blurt out too much. "Let's just say it's not something, but someone..."

Now Xavier has become even more interested in dialogue. "So who is this someone." You smiled softly when you saw a fox-like smile begin to appear on Xavier's face. "Is that a girl? Is that a guy? Do you like him? Do I know him?". He couldn't wait to find out the answers.

"It's a guy. A very, very nice guy. Xavier nodded. "You know him." You paused and lowered your head down. "I won't tell you anything else."

"Okay, is he cuter than me? Higher?" You rolled your eyes and pinched his arm lightly. Xavier gasped. "Okay, okay, I get it. Only then explain why this nice guy of yours allows you to be in such a depressed state for a whole week." You opened your mouth a little. The gears in your head were working fast, trying to find the answer. Having come up with nothing better, you decided to tell, in your opinion, the truth.

"My love is not reciprocal." Xavier tsked and lightly stroked your knuckles and looked into your eyes, thereby trying to support you. "Then he's a fool. And he definitely doesn't deserve you." You let out a little laugh. "I'm serious. You're gorgeous."A slight half-smile spread on your lips and your cheeks became a little pinker. "Don't be embarrassed. If he can't understand it, then he's just an asshole. You are the most beautiful, kind, funny and cool girl I have ever met. And he's an idiot."

You closed your eyes. "You don't even know who it is." Hearing Xavier's laughter, you opened your eyes again. "I don't need to know him, it's enough that I know you." You sniffled. It feels like tears are about to pour out of your eyes. Raising your head to the ceiling, you tried to blink so that this would not happen. "If I had my way, I would make you the happiest in the world and wouldn't let you cry like that." You smirked and lowered your head.

"Good. I believe you." Your words sounded quiet. Very quiet. But Xavier heard them anyway. "If it were my will t/and I swear." Xavier took your hand. You grinned. "You already make me happy. Every day..." Xavier interrupted you. "Y/n you know what I mean."

"No, I don't understand. And even if I understand, I'm very afraid. I'm very afraid and scared, Xavier. I'm very scared. I love you, and I'm scared." You said it almost in one breath and closed your eyes. There was silence.

"I really want to kiss you now, but I'm afraid I'll make a mistake." You've opened your eyes. Xavier laughed, but there was an expression of embarrassment on his face. You carefully leaned closer, so that a couple of centimeters remained between you. "Why are you making a mistake?" Xavier shrugged his shoulders. "I never thought that my feelings were mutual. Because you... It's you and wow. And you're excellent, but I am... Just me, I suppose?" You laughed. "Okay, then I have to assure you. You moved even closer. "That I'm experiencing the same thing. And you definitely won't make a mistake. At least, the mistake is no worse than me." You smiled. A couple of seconds and Xavier shortened the remaining distance and gently touched your lips with his lips. The kiss was soft, slow, careful. Xavier grabbed you by the waist. A short break between a kiss, and you're already lying under it. Gradually, the kiss turned into a lingering and not so gentle. His hands slowly crept under your T-shirt, exposing your stomach.

Xavier pressed his forehead against yours. His breathing was labored. "Still scared?"

"Not at all."

[betterbemeta]

'Like they know how intolerable it is right now, that's why they promise their followers slaves to relieve the burden.' i promise this is a genuine question but what does that have to do with hello fresh

It has to do with the 'convenience economy' being built on the back of exploited labor, and meal subscription services are part of that economy.

It's sort of like... "what if instead of improving conditions people find intolerable, we make money or gain political power off of those conditions instead?"

On the scale of the home: slashing wages and understaffing positions and the scarcity of jobs that pay a living wage means that people have fewer resources and less time to support themselves. The right wing in my country drives this: destroying unions, opposing labor rights, and by other means. The right wing in my country also is very strongly affiliated with the idea of the 'traditional family' where a male parent is a breadwinner and a female parent is a homemaker. They sell this white middle class fantasy for a lot of reasons but one of them is to maintain a special division of labor between men and women... where women function mainly to automate the household that belongs to the man, and more privileged women can defer this to less privileged women. While this is not directly 'related' to Hello Fresh or similar services in specific, these services exist to profiteer off of the worsening of conditions that make right-wing hierarchical promises more 'appealing' to some. If independent life is too 'hard' and there are no safety nets remaining, then the options are to get a wife or be someone else's wife and that's what our right wing wants for its core base. While everyone else becomes a second tier servant automating the lives of the most wealthy households in some way in addition to having to live their own lives.

On the scale of supply and distribution: food subscription services do not actually have as big of supply chains as major grocery stores, and supply chains are actually where most of the money in food production goes: for example, in 2020 the median price paid to broiler chicken growers was around 6.79 cents per live-weight pound. But nobody pays that in the store for chicken because the labor, materials, and fuel to slaughter it, package it, inspect it, transport it, is expensive even before we get into profit at every step. So when services like hello fresh say they can charge less than grocery stores but also do not own any of the steps in between you and the food, and aren't eliminating that many steps other than the grocery store itself... if you aren't eating the cost of that once the one-time discounted rate expires, the economy of low-wage workers, or even unpaid workers, likely is at a point in the process. Eventually the only way to get cheaper labor is to use prisoners (read: slaves) which already happens everywhere in the USA's food industry. Our right wing is really REALLY opposed to prison reform because of this economic exploitation and worsens conditions such that people can only rely on cheaper and cheaper products... and meal subscription services exploit this same desperation. It's in the interest of both for desperation to get worse.

and I'm not gonna get into how 'logistics workers' or 'last leg delivery' has its own human rights discussions involved.

TL;DR-- there won't be a simple causal answer like "hello fresh uses slaves" because I don't know that. But the intolerable conditions that services like hello Fresh Style themselves as a 'relief to,' ARE linked to slavery in the domestic and industrial spheres. They are both 'relief options' for what would otherwise be completely unsustainable. This isn't new; fast food, fast fashion, etc. are also considered conveniences like this that ultimately promote the conditions where slavery thrives... but the situation is escalating as economic inequality gets worse over time and the demands of infinite growth get steeper every year.

Our right wing makes things so awful that it feels impossible to get through life without paying a massive convenience fee (being wealthy) or without a servant to do things for you (being wealthy, x2).

If something says its cheaper than the grocery store it has to be lying because you can't be cheaper than owning the factory and having slaves operate the factory. Either it isn't less expensive, or it's taking advantage of all of that exploitation too.

and if you can sell one way to be 'faster than the grocery store' so widely, way way beyond only exploiting disabled people or isolated people without personal transportation... somebody else can probably sell another way to be faster than the grocery store. which is to have a tradwife to take care of all of that for you instead of hello fresh.

[sxcret-garden]

ღ P1Harmony Theo x fem bodied!reader ღ words: ~2k ღ genre: soft smut (soft dom!Theo(if you squint…?), lots of kissing & body worship, fingering (all reader receiving), protected sex, reader's first time) ღ warnings: none ღ prompts: “This is going a bit too fast…” + “I’ll guide you.”

It’s today. You knew it would happen today from the moment you greeted him at your doorstep and his lips lingered on yours just a little bit longer than usually when he kissed you to say hello.

“I missed you,” his words are ringing in your ears clearly now, and the longing expression behind his gaze doesn’t seem so weird anymore now.

“Baby…” you gasp softly as he attaches his lips to your neck, feeling his hand restlessly exploring your body under your shirt. Your boyfriend Taeyang is hovering above you, and he has you pressed against the sheets with his body weight atop you. 

“I love you,” you hear him mumble as he kisses a trail down your skin, and when he comes back up he shoots you a pleading look, tugging at your shirt to signal that he wants it off. Your head still spinning from how quickly a few innocent kisses escalated and he had you underneath him in no time, you’re lacking the brainpower to do anything but obey, and so you allow him to swiftly remove the piece of clothing. So far in your relationship you’ve done nothing but kiss and maybe a bit of letting hands wander into dangerous territory, but immediately withdrawing, as you’ve never had a boyfriend before, and you’ve always been anxious about the whole sexual part of a relationship. 

Except for him, who somehow always makes you feel at ease the moment his fingertips come in contact with your skin. It makes you wonder then, why you haven’t gone further with him yet, but your thoughts are cut off the second Taeyang lowers himself to scatter kisses along your collarbones. You whine at the touch, shutting your eyes tightly, and your hands fly to his hair. You tug at the soft strands, and he takes it as a sign to continue what he’s doing. Soft nips and little love bites down your torso make you arch your back underneath him, the pleasure of such a new experience building up in the pit of your stomach. 

“Taeyang… baby,” you call out to him once more as he kisses his way down your belly. You begin to feel dizzy when you realize he’s reaching for the waistband of your pants, and as he peeks up into your face, questioning whether he could take them off, the overwhelm hits you.

“I-” Your boyfriend immediately notices the change in your expression and he sits up, worry showing in his dark brown eyes.

“Was I going too far?” he asks, looking away filled with feelings of guilt and regret, but you’re quick to deny his assumption. 

“No, I-… It’s just, this is going a bit too fast,” you explain, sitting up as well. “I want to do this… with you. I like it when you touch me…” Due to your inexperience, you do feel a bit embarrassed to be saying such blunt and honest things to him. However, since it’s Taeyang, you’re more than okay with it. You trust him - after all, it has always been him who held back for your sake, and who didn’t go as far as he probably wanted to because he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Then… should I go slower?” he asks, and you nod, showing him a thankful smile.

“Please,” you add. Next thing you know, his lips are connected to yours, and he’s pulling you close by your waist. His kisses start out soft and careful, but soon they become more passionate. Running his tongue across your lower lip, you permit him to enter, and you feel blood rush to your head as he begins exploring your mouth. You wrap your arms around him tightly when you feel the need to have something to hold onto, and soon you find yourself moaning his name as his lips travel down to your throat. Soft kisses pressed to your skin spark flames of desire, and you run your fingertips down his back, feeling his muscles dance underneath as his palms start roaming your body slowly. When he parts from you, you use the opening to tug at his shirt.

“Take it off,” you whisper, and you find his ears reddening just before he does as told. You press your lips against his in a deep kiss, and the need to feel him more is prickling on your skin. Holding onto his shoulders, you press up against him, heat rushing through your whole body upon coming in contact with him. Electricity courses through the air around you, heightening your senses and making his touch on your skin feel hot.

“I love you so much,” Taeyang mumbles as he lays you down gently, and he reaches for your hands to intertwine his fingers with yours while pinning you to the bed. He kisses your neck and chest, eventually wandering to your stomach, and when he seems to have forgotten all about his earlier plan of going slow, you tear him out of it as you involuntarily giggle.

“Babe…” you whisper upon being met with his wide open eyes.

“Right…” your boyfriend mutters, as if he had just remembered what he said to you earlier. “Sorry, Y/N. I just… I can’t hold back when you’re this beautiful.” As if to put an emphasis on his words, he scans your body from top to bottom, and when his gaze returns to your face, his expression has softened.

“I noticed,” you breathe and you show him an endearing smile. “How about this then?” You lift one of his hands up, bringing it to your cheek so he would cup your face. “I’ll guide you.” Taeyang gives you a nod. When you begin leading his hand down your body, he watches as if under a spell, fingers merely grazing your skin now. You smile at him, saying, “It feels better that way.”

“Then go on.” Receiving his touches at a pace that doesn’t feel overwhelming to you now, you find yourself enjoying the situation even more. “Can I kiss you?” your boyfriend asks and you nod. He leans in to press a gentle kiss to your mouth, before he continues, “Again?” You find yourself chuckling at his question, and with a bright smile on your face you give him permission.

You share an open mouthed kiss, and when you part, you begin unbuttoning your pants and allowing him to take off your bra, until eventually all clothes have been discarded and tossed onto the floor. Taeyang has settled down next to you, still watching with great interest and you guide his hand down your stomach, eventually pressing his fingers against your core. Letting out a gasp when you feel his warm touch between your folds, you make him move back up slowly, until you feel him applying pressure to your clit. Taeyang leans in to kiss you as he lets you have full control over his hand, and as you feel yourself wanting more, you let go of him.

“Can I…?” he asks, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Yeah,” you answer with a smile. “It’s okay.” This time he makes sure not to go too fast as he alternates between teasing your clit and your entrance. You spread you legs apart to grant him better access, and he dips a finger inside you in response. You moan at the unfamiliar feeling of having him touch your core, but you also want him to give you more, so you snake your arms around his neck and bring him in for another kiss.

“More, please,” you whisper against his lips, and when he withdraws he smirks at you.

“So now you want me to go faster?” he remarks, amusement apparent on his face, and you pout up at him. His smile softens, and before you can say anything, he pushes his finger back into you. Withdrawing again, he pushes inside a second one a moment later, and you mewl at the sensation.

“Does that feel okay?” he asks.

“Yeah… feels really good…” you mutter, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Can I add another one?” You look up at your boyfriend upon hearing his words. Curious what it would feel like, you nod, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip in anticipation. You whimper when he pushes three digits inside you, feeling the stretch a bit, but it’s not painful. Taeyang lets you adjust for a moment, and when you throw him another pleading look, he starts curling his fingers against your walls. Thumb pressed against your clit and drawing circles on the sensitive bud, you’re soon overwhelmed with pleasure, and with the way you can feel his hard on pressing against your thigh your head begins to spin. However, just before your orgasm starts to build up, you stop him.

“What is it?” he asks. “Does it not feel good?” You shake your head vigorously.

“I just… want to have sex with you. Properly, I mean.” It takes your boyfriend one long moment to process what you just asked of him, but as soon as it has sunken in, he carefully pulls out of you. You watch as he gives himself a few strokes, and then you reach for the bottom drawer of your bedside table to fish a condom out of it, handing it to your boyfriend. He puts it on hastily, and as soon as he’s hovering above you, you can clearly see the desire in his eyes.

“Are you sure about this?” Taeyang asks and you wrap your arms around him, running your fingers through his hair.

“Yes.” That is the only word that leaves your lips, and you hope that you’re getting across that you’ve never been more sure about anything else. Your boyfriend hesitates for a second, but then he positions himself between your legs and he reaches for your hands, retrieving them from behind his shoulders so he can bring them to their earlier position - pinning you to the bed, fingers intertwined.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he says, adding, “Here I go.” The way he’s so careful with you makes you giggle a little bit, but your laugh is soon cut off when you feel him pushing inside. You moan out of surprise and because it does feel a little uncomfortable, but your boyfriend holds still, letting you get used to his size.

“I’m okay,” you whisper eventually, and he begins to slowly thrust. Taeyang leans in to scatter kisses all over your neck and your chest, but soon he too becomes overwhelmed by the pleasure and he picks up speed. You free one of your hands and let it glide down between your bodies to give your clit some stimulation, while moaning his name.

“Y/N…” he responds, his voice sounding strained as he buries his face in your neck, continuously rolling his hips into yours.

“A bit longer…” you beg, feeling your high approaching. “Please, just a little… longer…!” Digging your nails into his hand that’s still holding yours, you draw fast circles on your sensitive bud, and the way he reaches deeper inside you with every movement makes your head spin. He groans right beside your ear, sending a wave of pure ecstasy through your body, and with one more thrust you’re tumbling over the edge. You mewl his name, moaning every time your walls clench around his length. Fucking you through your orgasm, his hips soon begin to stutter, and just when you’ve come down from the last aftershocks, he comes undone with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, shifting to the side a bit so as not to crush you under his weight, and you both catch your breath before you help each other clean yourselves up a bit.

“Are you feeling okay?” Taeyang asks as he lies back down beside you on the bed, and you snake your arms around his body. Snuggling up to his chest and placing a kiss on his warm skin, you chuckle.

“Yeah,” you say. “Way better than okay, actually.”

[rottenraccoons]

How do you go about writing witty characters or funny banter, for example between Vesper and Keir? I find comedy to be very hard to nail, and I'd like to hear dear raccoons' advice!

Aw, thank you! This got a touch lengthy so the rest is under a readmore.

I've been sitting on this for a while to think about it, and I think the short answer is that we write banter as an extension of the characters' personal feelings and relationships, and Vesper is a banter-friendly character. They're talkative, they're a fast thinker, and they enjoy being sarcastic. Those are useful traits for writing fun dialogues, in my opinion.

My mindset when writing a dialogue exchange that's supposed to be especially fun or engaging is to treat it as a fight for power. For Vesper and Keir, particularly at the end of the chapter, that fight is play-fighting, but it's still a contest or a sport they want to "win". Sometimes they escalate their rhetoric against each other, sometimes they shift the topic of discussion a bit to get an edge, but they're fighting to win the conversation. And because Keir and Vesper don't actually hate each other they're not fighting to hurt each other, which keeps the atmosphere light and fun. (And bonus! If one of them did hurt the other in their banter, it comes across as more shocking and dramatic, highlighting the hurt.)

There's a lot of things a writer can do to make dialogue and banter more fun and engaging, though, and honestly I think the best way to learn is just to actively watch/listen to media that does it well, and when you find something that hits so good, think about why it hits so good. Pick it apart, find the rhythm of the dialogue, look at how characters choose their words (especially repeating specific words in a dialogue, or from a previous dialogue), when do the power dynamics shift, how do the characters enter and leave an exchange, what is it about this joke that's so funny. It can take away a touch of the ~magic~ to examine a piece of dialogue mechanically like this, but I think there's a second kind of appreciation that comes from seeing the mechanics behind something and seeing how well they fit together.

For me, that thing was the radio programme Cabin Pressure by John Finnemore (who also co-wrote season 2 of Good Omens), so I can highly recommend listening to that. Here's a short clip of two characters meeting up for a date, as a taster. And here's me analysing a very short bit of it like I'm back in high school doing line-by-line readings of the Odyssey again:

(dog enters scene, barking) Carolyn: Hello, darling! Did you hear the silly late man? [Carolyn is continuing a previous argument, asserting her dominance by emphasising Herc is late.] Herc: Oh, hello. What a ridiculous dog. [Herc knows he can't win on the late argument, so shifts the point of discussion. By calling the dog ridiculous, he is poking at Carolyn's pride while staying within acceptable boundaries.] Carolyn: I'm sorry? [Daring Herc to repeat his statement, attempting the intimidation she uses when insulted in other circumstances.] Herc: I said you have a ridiculous dog. [Herc will not be intimidated, repeats his point plainly to assert it as fact. Not "I think the dog is ridiculous" but "The dog is ridiculous".] Carolyn: My dog is not ridiculous. [Continuing to push back on Herc, emphasis on "my dog" to tie the dog to her and she's not ridiculous, is she?] Herc: Then whose dog is this? [Big laugh line, Herc has clearly won the point in this volley. He continues the conversation about the dog (who is, in fairness, delightful but quite a silly creature) because he is winning the "Carolyn's dog is ridiculous" fight, but shifts to the dog's breed for new ground to compete over.]

You definitely don't have to write things out like this (I don't recommend it unless you already find it fun), but being able to look at lines of dialogue and see what they're for in an exchange, both in-character and out of character as a structural element, can help when writing to know exactly what each line is for, and for me it helps me keep power dynamics and rhythm in mind. I hope that helps, nonny!

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

247. Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Have you ever finished a book and just sat there in awe, thinking about all of the ways that it broke your heart? This was me with HELLO BEAUTIFUL. Not to be punny, but this book was beautiful. Napolitano's novel was heartbreaking, memorable, destructive, and full of moments that had me outright crying.

We follow a family who essentially adopts a man (who marries into the family) who didn't have much of a family presence growing up due to a tragedy in his childhood. The journey we take over the decades as this family evolves, separates, and comes to terms with who they are is a heavy one, but also eye-opening. We see the cycle of emotional abuse and its consequences; the expectations placed on children to be better than their parents and its sometimes detrimental effects; and the power of love that comes from the most unexpected places.

This is a complex story of family and mental health. It tackles some topics that are often shied from in society, and the consequences of decisions that send ripples through time. There were characters I hated, others I loved, and others I truly hoped would find their happiness.

This was one of my favourites of the year, hands down. The tears on my face as the ending drew closer is proof that this book destroyed me and honestly, I'm grateful I was able to experience that because I normally don't pick up books like this one.

___

248. Mistletoe and Mishigas by M.A. Wardell--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Okay, I'm not a huge fan of Holiday books because I find the whole theme kind of cringe and meh LOL, but I devoured the shit out of this book. MISTLETOE & MISHIGAS was adorable af and I couldn't stop reading it.

I loved the grouchy MC and the sugary sweet MC. I loved that one kept putting his foot in his mouth, and the other started to stand up for himself. I loved their dynamic and how they brought each others' best selves out. The grouchy MC's family was a delight and they were HILARIOUS.

Was this book super deep? At times. It dealt with the grouchy MC's PTSD and his fear of finding love again because of his grief and past experiences, and it also dealt with the sunshine MC's homophobic family and their abandonment. These parts were powerful and I liked that the two of them were able to work through or with their traumatic experiences.

Another thing I don't like about Holiday books is that because they're set in such a tight timeline, we often get things at a sped-up rate. In the case of this adorable book, we get an almost insta-lovey relationship that gets steamy hella fast (which I'm fine with, but I did giggle at that first 'baby' that hit at a questionable time), and a distorted sense of time to be falling all the way to the L word because truly, has enough time passed for this word to be coming into play? But the Holiday timeline will always be an escalator for love because time is of the essence.

Beyond that, this was ridiculously adorable and like the perfect shot of cuteness to get you into the Holiday spirit. I love these two messy men and that they were in their 30s!!!! You know how hard it is to find a cute book where the characters aren't in uni or in their 20s? It was weirdly refreshing (mainly because I am in my mid-thirties.)

Will try the first book in the series at some point in my life!

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249. Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm convinced these books aren't for me. I read them both and while I was entertained for a bit, I got to the point where I just wanted the story to end. I did love the bookselling theme and how the MC tried her best to help the bookstore and its owner, but that was about all I really cared for in this book.

Oh, and seeing the MC fall into books that way so many of us do.

But while I can see why so many enjoy these cozy mystery books, I'm just missing that sense of "why am I reading this?"

I think I liked this one more than the first one, but to be completely honest, I'm not even 100% sure I remember what happened LOL.

Three stars for the bookselling and book reading portions, the rest I just...yeah. I don't think I'll be trying the next book--it all depends on when it comes out lol

___

250. The New Guy by Sarina Bowen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm so happy to be back in the world of Sarina Bowen. I saw this book on a friend's book haul and I needed it immediately, so I got my excited hands on it and devoured it. I missed reading the fun world of hockey with queer men. Sigh, I will admit that this has now sent me down that same black hole spiral that I experience at least once every year.

We get two perspectives: a single and widowed dad and a hockey player who is struggling to find a permanent home since he has been traded one too many times. As these two characters fight against their growing attraction to each other, we get to see some great character growth and truths that really bring too much to light.

I loved this book because of the tropes presented, but also because these two men experience so many different emotions together that you can't help but hope that they get to have their HEA. There's so much angst and sexy times, that it was hard to put the book down. But besides that obvious spicy side, I loved the side relationships and how the characters remembered to keep their heads on while either working or playing their sport. It's one of the things I love that authors sometimes do--that no matter what the characters are experiencing, it doesn't affect the core thing they love to do.

Also, the side characters were great and I loved all of them--especially the single dad MC's daughter and how big her personality was.

This was a lot of fun and I really need to check out the next book!

___

251. Enchanted to Meet You by Meg Cabot--⭐️⭐️⭐️

In rating this a three star, I'm realizing how my rating system is so skewed. I'm rating this three stars because it was fun, but it wasn't the best thing I've ever read. It was very insta-romance and kind of over the top. But I'm going to be super honest: When it comes to Meg Cabot, I expect nothing less and I usually have a great time.

So, despite its imperfections, ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU was a lot of fun. There was a cheesy romance, a badass but kind MC, and a somewhat unbelievable menace that gave me strong THE CRAFT vibes. I wish I had read this in October because it would have been perfect.

I thought the cast of characters were sweet and the love interest (second MC) sounded fine af. There's a specific description of him during a spicy scene that had me rewinding the audiobook just to hear it again. Also, that's another thing! While it wasn't overly described, the fading to black wasn't as obvious as Cabot's previous series.

Also, hello some queer rep in this one! And a beautiful plus-size MC! Love.

I hope that this series doesn't go the way of her last one, which got steadily worse. I will hold out hope and will definitely be picking up the sequel.

___

252. Power Plays & Straight A's by Eden Finley & Saxon James--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in November 2023

The happiness and giddiness I felt when I fell into this world again. I love these characters and how they communicate and how they are together. Reading this again felt like the first time, because I had forgotten so much of what had happened and I got to experience it all again :')

I like that these characters are imperfect and how they work together. One is socially awkward and the other is basically the king of hockey on campus. They are an interesting pair that somehow work and have the cutest and spiciest moments.

I love these boys and I can't wait to re-read this book again in a few years LOL.

___

253. It Found Us by Lindsay Currie--⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a fun and spooky mystery! I think the cover is creepier than the story itself, but it definitely had some moment where I know a middle school reader will have a few sleepless nights.

I loved the concept of this young MC being a detective because of how many other potential mysteries she could solve, especially now that she has her friend and brother helping her. I wouldn't say no to a sequel with more paranormal happenings in this small town--kind of gave me CITY OF GHOSTS vibes and I'm not mad at it.

I think I'm not rating this higher because while I was entertained, it didn't blow my mind. It was an enjoyable experience, however, and I'm definitely intrigued. I liked the character growth and the teamwork that happened--especially since I know younger readers who might pick this up might benefit from seeing healthy sibling relationships like the one in this book.

I do recommend this for anyone looking for a spooky middle grade novel that won't make them too scared to turn the lights off, but might creep them out with the stretched out smiles we sometimes hear about in IT FOUND US.

___

254. Just A Bit Captivating by Alessandra Hazard--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I bow down to Alessandra Hazard for writing 14 books (so far) in this series and making me love most of them. JUST A BIT CAPTIVATED is her latest and the way I KEPT checking to see the release date...phew. When I pick up one of these books (to read for the first time, or re-read), I KNOW I'm going to be...captivated.

This was another twisted romance and listen, I am TRASH for these books. Whereas in other books I'd be giving the storyline a massive side eye, something about Hazard's over the top situations are so ridiculously addicting and weirdly endearing? I want to root for both characters, even though one of them is a massive asshole. But listen, it's fiction--romance red flags are not real life goals, okay?

I highly recommend reading this series if you want stories that captivate you and make you question your morals on occasion (but just for the sake of the books.)

___

255. The Hundred Years' War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I will pre-empt my review by stating that the reason why I'm giving this four stars instead of five is because I'm not much of a history lover, so this was a bit of a heavy read in terms of textual information and my brain's inability to fully engage in historical nonfiction. Other than that, this book was incredibly informative.

I've been trying to stay informed and have been trying my best to show my support in the best ways I can, but I find that reading up on the history of the beautiful Palestine and how it has been besieged for over a century is incredibly important. I learned a lot through this text and I definitely believe that it should be on everyone's TBR. There were definitely some aspects I wish we learned more about in this one (I have learned about missing information through my own research and watching videos of those who are hella informed). But I also know that this text is a bit older and a lot of newer information has most likely come to light since its publication.

Important, powerful, and eye-opening, Rashid Khalidi's The Hundred Years' War on Palestine is a must-read.

___

256. Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm surprised it took me this long to read the heartbreaking book that is GIOVANNI'S ROOM. I've read various Gay literary fiction titles and while I always enjoy the journey, I'm always heartbroken or feeling some intense emotion by the end. Baldwin's novel didn't spare me from this experience.

GIOVANNI'S ROOM is messy, but in the most tragic way possible. This is a novel about a man who experiences one of the biggest emotions a human could experience, but both the time, his life experiences, and the expectations of what it means to be a "man" got in the way of him taking that leap into the abandonment of love. By the end, I couldn't help but cry for him, but also cry for Giovanni and the what could be's that mirror the life these two men lived on the pages of Baldwin's masterpiece.

The final line of this book will forever haunt me and if you've read this book, you know that that imagery not only will haunt the character forever, but also the reader.

Also, if you haven't done so--I highly recommend reading SWIMMING IN THE DARK because this felt very much like a reversal of characters if it was a retelling of GIOVANNI'S ROOM. Both are beautiful and both will absolutely break you/make you think about those who shared these characters' fates in real life.

I took a star away because the writing sometimes felt a little dry, BUT with that being said, I listened to the audiobook and the enunciation and reading of the narrator was GORGEOUS.

I'm glad I finally experienced this gorgeous and messy book. Also, I both wanted Giovanni to get therapy and to also be given the love he always craved and lost. My God, my heart cries for Giovanni.

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

[the-larxist-manifesto]

GameGirl28 ~ Conquering the NSO GameBoy library

Okay... so... Hello! This is my cool and awesome gaming blog where I'm gonna write my thoughts on my current gaming excursions, because I type really fast and I have a lot to say and I love video games!!

Here marks the inaugural post in a series I like to call:

~GameGirl28~

~The premise~

I grew up playing and loving Nintendo games. However, there lies a blind spot in my history with them right about where the GameBoy existed. I was too young when it was still getting games to appreciate or be any good at beating them, but only grew into gaming as a hobby when the GameBoy was considered extremely uncool. By the time I was going to the shop to pick out my own games for getting good grades in school, it was all about GBA and DS games for me. The GameBoy, as I famously say, lies slouched in the corner as the poopy predecessor to a golden era of portable gaming. I've never taken the thing seriously, and I think it's about time that I change that.

~Why now?~

When the Nintendo Switch Online service added GameBoy (GB) to the growing list of retro games, I thought for the first time that the subscription was worthwhile. It's one of the most accessible ways Nintendo has ever allowed fans to play a sampling of games fundamental to their success as a company today. Seriously, there's never been a good way to play GB before. No one's paying $5 a pop for an old game on 3DS that doesn't even have color. But now, anyone can play 21 of the GB's games whenever they want, on-the-go as originally intended, for a measly $20 a year. Since I was already paying for the service to smash noobs in Mario Kart and play SNES Yoshi's Island, I figured now was the time for the little gray box to shine.

~GameGirl28?~

You're probably wondering why the name of this project sounds like a username you might see in the YouTube comments 10 years ago under an AMV of Pikachu dancing to Butterfly.

Well, the name has a pretty simple meaning. I'm playing the GameBoy. But I'm a girl, so I gotta yassify the name. And, as of right now, I will be playing 28 total GB games. That number comes from the 21 offered by NSO, in addition to 7 other GB games I happen to own after years of collecting video games. Yeah. Seven. You can probably tell how much I cared about this console until now. I own almost 500 video games total btw the GB doesn't even make up 2% of that

Here's a little visual guide to which games I'll be playing, in order!

As for this particular order, I grouped them up loosely according to theme as well as pacing out the kinds of games I'd be playing. Since the challenge is to beat an entire library of games, there will be games that I hate, or even objectively horrible games, sprinkled in there. So, generally speaking, each row contains a little mix of every type of game. For example, "Precursor to greatness..." includes an adventure game somewhat familiar to me (Zelda), a fun, breezy, and familiar romp (Kirby), an adventure game completely new to me (Castlevania), and another easy one that I have a history with (Wario Land). The goal is to keep the challenge fresh by flowing between the new and the familiar, spacing out the stinkers with the classics, and escalating the excitement as I progress further!

~Conclusion~

This blog, my larxist manifesto, will be for more than just posting about GB games. Posts about this challenge in particular will be titled as such, and I'll probably make more cute accompanying graphics to illustrate how far along I am as well. Actually, as of right now, I'm almost all the way through "Welcome to GameBoy!" I'll make some recap posts very soon about that. So yeah, if you are also curious about a console essential to video game history that has been kinda swept under the rug (or you just wanna see me go off on fiery rants and post funny screenshots), look out for future updates!

And if you wanna see what other manner of silly things I can yap about forever, stay tuned! My next post will be sort of an overview about why I'm even blogging in the first place. ^^

[nacregames]

Hello! Sorry if this is a stupid or uninformed question, but may I ask why you are moving from CoG to Twine? I'm only asking because I myself was planning to write IF on CoG but have since seen a lot of authors move platforms, and I have no idea why...

Hi! It's not a stupid question at all. There are many reasons why I personally switched from CoG to Twine, but I think the main reason why the majority did was because of the toxic community over there.

I've never been truly active on the forum, but it was apparently bad enough for lots of people to talk about and that's how I heard about it too. Some of the readers were said to be very rude to the authors and others, who showed support were suspended for very banal reasons. Also the mods did not take care of the situations properly and actually caused everything to escalate further by applying the guidelines and rules to their own liking/opinion. It was a very messed up situation all over.

I think this will make you help understand better: [link]

The "breaking point" for me though, was that this little evil man called Jason S. H. (CoG staff) supported NFTs and let me tell you friend, I will never ever touch that BS and all that other crypto currency shit. Nor will I work with or for somebody who supports it. I don't care if it was just an idea or his own personal opinion or whatever, I just didn't want to risk falling into that pit and so I decided to switch to Twine as early as possible. I didn't like the idea of being on edge and having to worry about this, especially since that man already has his little villain campaign going on over there and it's spreading like a virus.

Apart from that...well you can do whatever you want with Twine, while you obviously can't with Choicescript. You see, cs is a very easy and practical coding language and it was so much fun using it for my game, but as fun as it is, it's just not worth the trouble. You can do the same and more with Twine. You can even save your game, add images, music, and overall give your game a personal touch. The options are limitless and there's no one to tell you what to do.

Twine is an open source narrative engine and the community is already big enough to make the learning process as good and fast as it was with cs. It was very difficult at first since there were so few authors using it, but that's not the case now. Even if you have are a very slow learner or have a hard time coding, if it's your story you want to share, you can do that.

TL;DR: Long story short, ppl on the CoG forum (mods and readers alike) were mean and Twine offers so much more possibilities to design your game and has way less restrictions!

If you need a quick rec of narrative game engines, here's a list:

Narrat is a very nice engine too, but since it's still new, it's not as "fleshed" out as Twine, but there's a community to help with problems for it too, and it grows with each day! I'm personally trying to figure it out, since I plan to use it in the future.

Inkle writer (or Ink) is pretty much the same, though way easier to use since you can literally just click which command you wanna use and it inserts it itself. Like e.g add a variable or make a choice etc. It's actually a nice tool for scripting purposes, tho I'm not sure how much exactly you can do with it, so there's that.

You could also just use Ren'py. It's generally used for VNs, but you can just as well use it for strictly text-based games. The community is huge, you can always ask for help and you can code the wildest things with it since it uses python. I mean it's said to be for beginners, but I found it more difficult than Twine, so take that as you will. But anyway, I don't think there are any restrictions to either Twine or Ren'py tho I'm just an amateur and are throwing wild guesses in here lol.

[pixielovers2account]

Positively and strictly EVIL.

It was mid afternoon when I went down the escalator. My eyes hitting the screen up above of a young girl that looks like they could be Dora the explorer’s daughter. I groaned rolling my eyes “another bratty star I bet she’s another child predator.” I rolled my eyes walking through the subway.

…

I was looking for face products but now I only find myself looking at a picture of that girl “ugh oh she’s everywhere isn’t she?” I looked at the product judging it just by the girl wanting to mock her produced I bought it. “Bet this doesn’t even work and when it doesn’t I’ll end her corer.” What? I don’t have to have a revenge ark or some sad sulk story to just be a bitch.

I whistle as I sat down in front of a mirror. I had fans lots of them I exposed people for there tack products and who they really are. Some people hate me some people don’t either way I get money from these fake stars.

“Okay guys today we are gonna be using Jenny Ortega face products DIOR and you know how the show goes people so I’m gonna do whatever it says on the page like using warm water before I apply to see if she’s a fake or is she real let’s see.”

It’s the first day of course I wasn’t going to see Andy changes but I fast forward to a week and “holy shit guys this actually works. Looks like mrs Jenny Ortega isn’t a fake.” People yelled at me in the comments for criticizing her name and for my criticizing of her body the way she looks and accusing her of using plastic surgery and various other things. But do I care? No not at all not until I meet this girl I won’t change my mind and I have said this to my fans.

…

Monday: October 17:2025 time 12:45

The air was sweet with wind a cold gust of air always blowing. October might be my favorite time of the year. Pumpkins and different colors what a beautiful season. “Good morning y/n.” An younger male spoke i smiled at the boy “hello mallet.” He started on rambling about his day till he told me about the news “did you know about Jenna Ortega she’s coming to this store today! How awesome is that.” This took my interest “oh…? Oh really.”

…

I walked through the store my curiosity peeking when I hear people mumbling to each other taking out their phones. And yelling “what’s up?” I asked out loud finding myself pushing pass crowds and trying to go around only bumping into someone. “Fuck!” I groaned out now cursing as all of my hard work spilled over the floor “what the hell!” I finally open my eyes meeting pitch black ones.

“I’m so sorry mrs here let me help you.” I sat there love struck as she picked up my items up a clear face not even a pick of bumps freckles sprinkled over her face making her such a sight to see and her lips oh her lips so pink so plump so…and handed them to me.the items I mean “Th-thank you…I….I’m.” The girl hushed me “I know who you are..” my eyes widened as my face filled with a pink hazy blush “oh…I” I fiddled with my thing’s trying to find a word to say that would fit but nothing came to mind. We both stood I noticed the slight hight difference. I looked down into her eyes “Jenna right?” I asked licking my lips.

She nods “y/n right.” I nodded too. “You seem kind, why put on an act?” She asked I was struck a lost for wards. “I well…I just speak the truth.”

“But also tell lies don’t you y/n?” I bit my lip. Her hands grazing my arms. “So…tell me do you want to get to know me?” Her eyes flickered to mine “y/n?”

“Yes…”

…

It’s been months since I got to know her she’s sweet loving kind how could I ever criticize such a lovely person “y/n I have coffee!” A voice calls with an exited twinkle. She comes into my room and opens the bouncy door handing the coffee to me. “Thank you Jenna.” I smiled at the smaller girl taking a sip “oh, it’s my favorite! I didn’t know they still sailed this.” I smiled and looked to Jenna “how?”

Jenna places her hand to her lip “shh now that’s a secret.” She giggles a bit. Taking a sip of her own. “I’m guessing that has ginger?” She nods taking another sip before looking to me.

“You know a lot of people say Y/F/D and my ginger coffee will make a great match. Wanna try?” I nodded quickly taking another sip.

“Okay come here honey…” she mumbles a bit.

She moves in closer…closer till our lips meet a stinking taste of vanilla, ginger and like a chocolate chip cookie we matched together such a sweet taste we both moan into to each other. Her leg rising to my hip as we held each other in a desperate attempt to get closer.

We where hungry like wolves.

Pulling away. Breathless…boneless.

“Your a horrible kisser you know?” I joked.

“You know your positivity and strictly evil.” She giggles leaning her head back letting herself breathe in the sun.

[beautiful-songbird]

The Strings of My Heart [39] - What If?

← Chapter 38 | Chapter 40 →

Pairing: Zoro x Jupiter

Genre: fluff, angst, f2l

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: mentions of adoption and parental abandonment

Summary: Zoro’s moved to sunny California for college to escape from the life of fame for a little while. But when he loses his violin case in the second week of school, he’s sure his college experience has just gone up in flames. What will he do when, despite all odds, his case is returned to him?

It took Noah a few days to get used to spending time with Luna and Kohen’s family.  Having Jiho with him helped, but he had to go see Tae and Zelda at least once everyday to be ok with staying at their house.

Today, Luna had decided they should all go to the beach.  It was, after all, summertime, and Rosella had never been to the beach before.  Jiho had decided to hang out with a few of their other cousins that day, so it was only Luna and Kohen watching Noah.

Apparently, Noah hadn’t either, because they weren’t informed of what hell the beach was for Noah.  The sand was mostly fine.  Mostly.  As long as it didn’t touch anything besides his feet, he was ok with it.  The water was a whole other beast, though.  Luna tried to take him a few feet into the water, and Noah shrieked the whole time.

“No!  No!  Don’t want to be wet!”

“Why not?  It’s just the ocean, Noah.”

She was waist-deep in the water now, and Noah was holding onto her torso for dear life.  He was pressing his sunglasses to his face and crying now.

“Take me out!  Don’t want to be wet!”

Luna tried to loosen his hold on her, but it didn’t work.  Noah’s grip was tight.  She wasn’t really sure what to do at this point.

“Hey, babe, how about you bring him back to the sand?  I don’t think it’s a great idea to force him into the water,” Kohen informed her loudly.

This exasperated Luna a bit, but she gave in and carried Noah back to the shore.  Noah relaxed quite a bit when he realized he wouldn’t have to go into the water, but his sunglasses fell off a moment later, causing him to scream.

“No!  Get the sunglasses!”

Luna bent down to retrieve them, accidentally splashing Noah in the process.  This just escalated things further.

Kohen helped him dry off a few moments later, and he very carefully patted all the water off of Noah’s sunglasses before giving them back to him.

“I want Mama and Appa,” Noah whined after he’d been wrapped in a towel.

“I’ll call them.  Do you want to talk to them or should I?” Kohen asked.

“Me.  I want to talk to them.”

Kohen pulled up Tae’s contact in his phone and called him.

“Hello?”

“Appa?” Noah asked.

“Hi, buddy.  What’s up?”

“Wanna go home,” Noah whined.

“Aw.  Are you not having fun?”

“No.  M’ all wet.  Don’t like wet.”

“Yeah…where are you, buddy?”

“At the beach.  Koko called you for me.”

“Oh, yeah?  Do you want me to come pick you up?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok.  Can I talk to Kohen?”

Noah was quick to hand the phone to Kohen.

“Hi,” Kohen greeted. “Do you want to come get him, or should we meet in Fallbrook?”

“It would probably be best if we meet in Fallbrook.  I can come pick him up from your apartment.”

“Ok, sounds good.  Sorry to bother you with this.  We didn’t get him out of the water fast enough.”

“That’s all right,” Tae chuckled. “I’m surprised he lasted this long away from us, honestly.”

“Me too,” Kohen admitted. “See you in forty.”

Tae was already at the complex when they arrived, and Noah was quick to go and hug him when he saw him.  Tae reached down and picked him up.

“Hi there.  You ok?”

“Water hurts,” Noah whined.

“Does it?”

Noah nodded. “Only shower water doesn’t hurt.”

“Yeah?  Maybe we shouldn’t go to the beach again.”

“Yeah.  Don’t like the beach.  It’s too owie.”

Tae reached up and ruffled Noah’s hair. “Should we go inside with Kohen and get your stuff?”

“Yeah,” Noah replied slowly. “Wanna go see Mama.”

“We can do that once you’re packed up, ok?”

Noah nodded and wrapped his arms around Tae’s neck, squeezing his hand around the collar of Tae’s shirt. “Ok.  Inside now.”

◇◆◇◆◇

Kohen found Luna sitting on the couch twenty minutes later once Tae and Noah had left.  Rosella was asleep in her lap, but she looked quite discontented.

“What’s wrong?” Kohen asked.

“I ruined it.  I ruined everything.”

He hesitated. “Luna-”

“No, don’t.  I know I was wrong.  I just ruined my only shot at a relationship with our son.”

“Luna, we can try again when he gets older.  I think he’s just a little too young to get used to a new environment right now.”

“What if he doesn’t want to come?  What if he remembers how awful this time was and doesn’t want to see us?”

“I don’t know.  Only time will tell.  What’s important right now is that he’s with his parents and he’s comfortable and safe.”

“But we are his parents, Kohen!”

His reaction to this statement caught her off guard.

“Don’t you dare say that.”

“What?” she asked in shock.

“We’re not his parents.  We didn’t raise him.  Sure, he’s our kid by birth, but we didn’t raise him.  He’s not our kid.  He doesn’t know us.  For all he knows you’re just his cousin that he rarely sees!  He’s way too young to understand that we’re his parents.  He just knows Mama and Appa.  He doesn’t know what parents are.  He won’t understand what the difference between him and his siblings is for a few years yet, and we don’t have the right to interfere with that!  He’s a little kid, Luna, and you made the decision to let someone else raise him years ago.  You can’t just change your mind now because you feel like it.”

She gaped at him. “I…Kohen.”

He cut her off. “I’m not done talking.” He took a breath before continuing. “You know my dad, right?”

“Yes?”

“And you know my mom?  My birth mom?”

“…uh.  No?”

“Exactly.  Because my dad and stepmom raised me.  My mom was never a mom to me, Luna.  It would’ve been really odd to me if she’d suddenly wanted to be in my life again.”

Luna hesitated. “That’s not really the same thing, Kohen.  I’ve been a part of his life, at least a little bit.  And I didn’t…leave him because I wanted to.”

Kohen shifted back and forth on his feet. “I know.  But what I’m saying is he doesn’t understand that.  I mean…I knew about my mom before my dad got remarried.  She left when I was five.  Noah doesn’t know us.  By the time I was nine, she wasn’t my mom anymore, so how much more are we not Noah’s parents?  We’ve never been his parents.”

The tone of his voice was starting to fall flat, and Luna could tell he was in deep thought.

“I just don’t think it’s fair to him to expect a relationship.  Not with him being so far away and this young.  You know?  It’s not the same situation as the one between me and my mom because I knew her and I knew she’d left me, but with us it was less of an option.  He’s never seen us as his parents, so it’s not like he’ll feel betrayed by us…hopefully.  Just.  We can wait, you know?”

“We can,” she nodded. “It’s just so hard.  It was so hard today knowing I’d done something wrong with him and didn’t know how to handle it.  I’m his…well.  I could be his mom.  And I didn’t know he’d freak out like that.  I didn’t know how to calm him down.  I just…I feel awful.”

“Luna, his coping mechanisms and what help him are only things that can really be known well by people very close to him.  I mean, I’m not even sure most of your cousins know how to help him in a lot of those situations.  Zelda, Tae, and Zoro know, but I’m not sure everyone else does.  And it’s hard to, especially when you’re outside of their body.  You don’t know what certain things feel like or how bad those sensations really feel.”

Luna looked up at him. “Is that what you feel like?  Like no one knows you like that?”

He grimaced. “Yeah.  There wasn’t really a chance for anyone to know.  I didn’t get diagnosed early like he did, so my parents didn’t know how to deal with a lot of my aversions, nor did they know how bad they could be.  I don’t think it’s that way for Noah, though.  Tae and Zelda seem to be very sensitive to his feelings.”

Luna nodded. “I think they are too.  I’m glad they can help him.  I’m not sure how I would’ve handled him while I was in school.” She ran her finger down the tip of Rosella’s nose. “Maybe it’s a good thing I couldn’t keep him.  Maybe we would’ve upset each other too much.” She glanced up at Kohen.

“If you’re looking for me to argue, you’re not going to get it.  Just with how much you and I have fought, I think you’re definitely right.”

She winced. “Don’t say that.”

“Sorry.  It’s just true.  Besides, we shouldn’t dwell on what could’ve been.  Noah’s life was settled in Korea six years ago when you made the choice to give him to Tae and Zelda, so I see no point in wondering how different our life would be if you hadn’t.”

She sighed. “You’re right.  We live in the present.  And who knows, maybe we wouldn’t have Rosella right now if I’d kept him.  I wouldn’t want to lose her even if it meant raising him.”

◇◆◇◆◇

Jupiter was in the living room folding clothes when Stella skipped into the living room.

“Jupiter.”

“Yes?”

“Peyton’s birthday is soon.  I was thinking maybe we could…invite him over for dinner?”

Jupiter glanced up at Stella. “Ok, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Stella, you have never asked to invite anyone over for as long as I can remember, and now you want to invite Zoro’s friend over?”

“Okayyyy well…he’s cute.  And he actually talks to me.  No one at school really does.”

Jupiter snorted out a laugh. “Do you like him?”

“…mayyyybe.  I wouldn’t date him yet if that’s what you’re worried about, though!”

“Oh, you think I’m worried?”

“I know you, Jupiter.  I know the things you think about.”

“Oh, do you?  What am I thinking right now, then?”

Stella grinned. “You’re thinking about how Zoro is soooo great taking care of all of the littles and how you want to marry him, right?”

Jupiter gaped at her. “Little miss.”

“Hey!  I’m only six years younger than you!”

“You’re little.  Go see if he needs help making dinner.”

“Can we invite Peyton?”

Jupiter paused. “I…suppose.”

“Yes!” Stella squeaked before running off to find Zoro.

Chapter 40 →

This is part of the Dad!BTS series that can be found here

Series M.list

A/N: two more chapters till Christmas hehehehehehe also this one is shorter because I’m JUST TRYING TO GET TO CHRISTMAS ALREADY

It would be greatly appreciated if you reblogged the story if you liked it!

Taglist: @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @jinnie-forthe-winnie

[j0kers-light]

Hello ! I have a ledger joker request It’s probably very stupid and not really your style but ah,,,it’s a scenario where the reader has enough of his bs like he probably pissed her off in some way (either from what he said, what he did or maybe she got tired of his dangerous lifestyle??)and the reader wants to break up,,,,how would he react and how would the story escalate lol,,, it could be angsty leading to fluff or even smut 🫣 or everything and anything I mean I really don’t mind haha,,,I hope it’s not too much

His Lighthouse: Goodbye (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Goodbye - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

Hey hi anon! 🖤✨

This ask is soooooo old forgive me senpai! I found it buried deep in the August section! I held onto it because I loved the synopsis. I will say that your ask is NOT STUPID! It was out of my style (its rare I'll let Joker and Y/n break up) but I filled it anyway!

I still don't like the ending but practice makes perfect! Expect another break up fic in the future!

YALL NEED SOME MUTEMATH IN YA LIVES!

tag list:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse

Shoot me a request if you wanna be added to the HL taglist!

Joker really thought you were different. He assumed that you could stomach through the highs and lows of his fast paced lifestyle and remain by his side. You made it this far, why couldn't you last until forever?

Joker should have known his Light would crack under pressure.

If he wasn't so blinded by work, he would've noticed the signs. Your brilliant smile failed to reach your eyes, you stopped waiting up for him after his long nights out, and the unquestionable love that you held for him was no longer there. He was too busy destroying a city to notice; he didn't have time to worry about you or anything else.

And that proved to be his downfall.

It was the fourth night this week that Joker came home late and exhausted.

He would come in as loud as can be, shower off, raid your fridge, all before crashing in bed. Not one hello or a welcome home kiss was sent your way. You used to be his main focus, now you were grateful for any semblance of acknowledgement.

You eventually trained yourself not to be bothered by it, no matter how depressing it was to be cast aside.

A news broadcast explained that Joker was having a stressful few months evading police while still managing to wreak havoc on the city. The fact that you learned this information from a GCN segment and not from Joker himself, was a slap in the face.

The old Joker used to talk to you about these things. Sure he omitted majority of the details to keep you safe, but still, he used to keep you informed! You knew next to nothing now. You were completely in the dark.

You couldn't remember the last time you talked to Joker let alone touched him. You missed the long late night conversations and the passion that would eventually follow. You missed your partner in so many ways. How many nights have you gone without his love, desperate and lonely?

Things between you and J were more than strained and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. You could understand a few days of this distance, it was going on three months.

You doubted if you could stomach any longer.

In the beginning it was like a dream being with Joker. You were his Light, his Goddess, his reason for existing. He would do anything for you and he showered you with love and affection to prove his devotion. You were happy and totally blinded by his affection.

But by the time you noticed it was gone, reality settled in and stung like a bee. You were addicted to Joker and he was cruel to take away your fix.

He knew you had separation anxiety and it only worsened by the day. Your thoughts were plenty. Did he not love you anymore? Was there someone else? Was there anything you could do to repair this strained relationship?

You had so many questions and Joker was never around to answer them. So you spiraled into self doubt.

Joker didn't notice your change in demeanor since he was hardly at the apartment anymore. He only came home to eat, sleep, shower, and go back to work. He was so busy he couldn't spare you a second.

You tried to get his attention multiple times but he was always in a rush.

You tried cornering him while he was in the bathroom but still no dice. He would lock the door and you couldn't talk to him before bed due to the clash in sleep schedules. You slept while he was up and vice versa. 

At times you thought Joker was creating distance on purpose. No man could be that busy! He wasn't in the past. Joker always made time for you. You wondered why he stopped.

Regardless, you vowed that things would be different. You were going to earn Joker's attention whether he liked it or not.

This was his last chance to acknowledge you. You knew your worth; you didn't deserve this cold treatment without just cause. And if Joker wouldn't cherish what he had, then you would move on and find someone who would.

You didn't need Joker and his toxic energy weighing you down. If he didn't fix his attitude then you were done.

You decided to confront J and give him a chance to correct his behavior as a common courtesy.

Joker usually got ready around seven pm so if you caught him before eight, you could talk to him before he left for the night.

You felt neglected and unloved by a man who swore to treat you like a goddess down to his dying breath. It was high time you put your foot down and held him accountable.

Everything was going according to plan until Joker deviated from his normal schedule.

He was already dressed and heading towards the door around six in the afternoon. The time threw you off and you almost missed him as he passed by.

You were cleaning the dishes in the kitchen but grabbed a towel to wipe your hands and run after J.

"Wait J! I need to talk to you!"

Much to your surprise he kept walking. Okay....? Was he flat out ignoring you now? You wouldn't be surprised.

You were still clinging onto the hope that this funk of his was a result of a stressful work situation. He wouldn't be busy forever and soon enough, he'd have all the time in the world for you but in the meantime, he didn't have to take his frustrations from work out on you.

You caught up to him in the living room and halted his movements with a smile. "Didn't you hear me? I wanna talk—"

"I don'T have time for this." Joker said under his breath. You heard it loud and clear. He arched an eyebrow at your stunned face. "What. Whaddya want?"

He never spoke to you like that before. You were at loss for words. He clicked his tongue in anger for wasting his time.

"Exactly. Nothing. Now... move." He shoved you away and you barely caught your balance from falling over.

Did he just?

You laughed to yourself and blinked in disbelief. "I know this white man didn't just push me." You mumbled to yourself.

You looked straight into an imaginary camera and laughed again. That didn't happen. If you acted a fool and went off on Joker, then somehow you'd be in the wrong.

For months you felt lesser than and suffered through his silent treatment but not any more. You were sick and tired of being neglected and in that moment, you reached your breaking point.

Only seconds had passed since Joker pushed you but it seemed like time slowed as he neared the door. You couldn't let him leave.

Joker was about to turn the doorknob when he heard you.

"I just wanted a few minutes of your time but then you had the audacity to push me?! Boy... have you done lost your mind cuz I'll help you find it!" You stomped to stand in front of Joker. He just arched an eyebrow at you.

Was he supposed to be frightened by you or something? You barely came up to his chest.

"I've had it with you! You don't talk to me anymore, you're never here! It's clear you're done with this relationship! It's like I'm dating a ghost and I do not have it to do! So! Here's an ultimatum. Either stay and we work this out or walk out that door and see what happens! The choice is yours."

You meant business this time. You were fed up with Joker not meeting you halfway in this relationship. You wanted things to go back to normal... back to when he proved he cared about you and meant it. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently so. Joker simply rolled his eyes at your little performance, "Are ya done?"

Angry hot tears welled up in your eyes and you felt as if you were going to explode. You smiled through the pain and poked Joker's chest. He made his choice, now it was your turn.

"Am I done? Nah, I haven't even started." You waved him off. "Just go."

Your heart pleaded with him to do the exact opposite yet it broke into two when Joker scoffed and left your apartment without a word.

It would be the last time he did.

The next twenty four hours was the worst in Joker's life. He was leaving your apartment building when Frost called and explained that the planned mission for the night had already gone south.

Joker wasn't having the best of luck these days. Nothing was going right. It would take the rest of night and probably tomorrow to square things away so they could reattempt the mission at a later date.

The last thing he needed was something else to screw up after a day full of dumb mistakes.

Joker was bone tired by the time he boarded the elevator up to your apartment. He mashed the top floor button and sagged his weight on the walls with a sigh.

Joker didn't forget that he left on a bitter note and he hoped you were in a better mood now. You did have an entire day to calm down without him around.

He knew how stressful these past few months were and not just for him, but for you as well.

He foolishly put his work over you and the consequences were coming back to bite. His Bunny was rowdy and at her breaking point.

All he needed was another week or so and then he'd have ample amount of time to spoil you with the attention you deserved.

He walked off the elevator and down the short hallway to your front door. Nothing seemed amiss until he tried opening the door with his key.

It didn't fit.

He tried again and then he noticed it wasn't his key that was messed up, it was the door itself. You changed the f__king locks.

Joker tipped his head back and laughed.

How naïve you must be to think this would stop him. It only took two hard shoves with his shoulder and the door broke open. He barged in with inertia but stopped in his tracks at the sight of your apartment.

What was once a bright and eclectic space was now devoid of life. White dust sheets covered every available surface like an abandoned house and the whimsical air that usually flowed throughout the place was gone.

He tried turning the lights on but they didn't work. He ventured over to the fridge and jerked it open, only to find it completely empty. Even the faucet in the kitchen ran dry. It was as if you vanished and preserved the apartment for safekeeping.

All the doors in the apartment were locked and your precious houseplants in the sunroom were gone.

You were gone.

Joker didn't panic at first. Shock was clouding his judgment. There was no way you just up and left in a day.

His eyes darted around looking for any kind of clue but nothing remained. However, Joker was smart. He nodded to himself as he took the stairs back down to the front lobby, three at a time.

He rarely came down here and he hardly paid the workers any attention but today they would be his saving grace.

It was the crack of dawn yet an employee was already stationed at the front desk, typing on the computer.

Joker hit the counter before fixing the employee with a glare.

"O-Oh h-hello sir, you startled me! Good morning. May I help you with something?" She took in Joker's tight green eyes and his frantic demeanor but kept quiet.

She also wondered why he wore a face mask but she kept those thoughts to herself too.

"Y/n L/n. Top floor. Where did she go?" He demanded.

She wasn't at liberty to disclose any information about tenants but if she didn't say anything to his man, she knew he wouldn't be too thrilled. It went against protocol but just this once, she'd share what she knew.

Joker was glad she made the right choice. A few taps to her keyboard brought up your profile.

"Miss. L/n, let's see. She left.. yesterday afternoon! I don't know when she's returning since she didn't include a return date on the Tenant Leave paperwork. Would you like to.. um sir? Sir?"

Joker left the front desk as soon as he heard the word left. He glanced at his pocket watch and grimaced.

It was seven in the morning. Joker left a little before seven pm the day before which meant you had a full day to disappear anywhere in the world. His panic finally kicked in. You actually picked up and left him.

He couldn't believe it until your words from the night before echoed in his head and stopped him in his tracks.

"Either stay and we work this out or walk out that door and see what happens! The choice is yours!"

You asked Joker to stay and talk and he would wager it was about his attitude over the past months and about not giving you any attention. He put work above his Light and this was the consequence.

He never expected you to leave and change the locks. This was bad. Real bad. 

You had a full day to travel anywhere and your royalties did not limit you on how far you could go. It was concerning that your security detail didn't report anything awry this entire time. They should've been the first to know if you decided to pick up and leave and Joker's immediate thought was the worst outcome.

Perhaps you didn't leave willingly. Joker had to see this with his own eyes. Good thing he installed security cameras all over your apartment, they came in handy at a time like this.

Joker arrived at this main hideout like a man on a mission.

The first thing he did was check with your security detail and drill them on your whereabouts for the past twenty four hours.

Much to his shock, they had absolutely no clue you were gone. That was just unacceptable so he got rid of them, permanently.

Joker's theory of you being kidnapped was proving to be a possibility until he locked himself in the control room and reviewed the camera feed.

He re-winded it back to ten minutes after he left your apartment and sighed once he saw you break down into tears. His heart ached seeing you in so much pain but after a while, you picked yourself up and disappeared into your private room. All was quiet until bright and early that morning, multiple movers and the apartment building's preservation committee stormed into your penthouse.

There were a dozen people moving in and out of your apartment from seven in the morning to late in the day.

They worked to remove the essentials you wanted out and set about spreading dust sheets over everything else that remained.

Two workers cleaned out your fridge and pantry while another team moved your plants from the sunroom with the utmost care. You stood watch through it all, pointing at what could stay or go, sporting a frown on your face and puffy eyes.

It was evident that you were crying all night and they worked twice as fast to remove you from this situation.

The apartment building manager came around noon with some paperwork and Joker turned up the audio so he could hear the conversation better.

"Alright Miss. L/n you're already aware of your ten year contract with us but I have to reiterate. You are obligated to pay rent during your extended leave of absence and you must return to full residency status before your contract expires. Do you have any questions?"

He set down the legal work on your kitchen counter and waited for you to respond. You didn't spare him or the agreement a glance.

The bookshelf team gave you a thumbs up when all your books were accounted for. They were the last to leave the apartment since no one was allowed in your room. You watched them haul out the boxes you pre-packed last night out the door.

"Will the water and power be turned off or will that be included in LOA rent?" You asked.

"Oh, that's excluded! Your normal rent is what? A high six here or there, so rent will be reduced to three thousand in your absence per month."

Joker always wondered how much your rent was. He was shocked to say the least. By no means was he a cheapskate but he wasn't so flippant with money either. 

You nodded offhandedly at the property manager.

"Fax the agreement to my manager's office and they'll review it before I sign. Thank you all so much!" You shouted to the workers doing their final sweep of the place.

They nodded and waved back in thanks before leaving.

The preservation team was placing the final sheet on your custom dining table before they also waved goodbye. You returned your focus back to the apartment employee.

Now it was just you and him in the entire penthouse.

"I'm sorry. You were saying?"

He shook his head but returned to his previous thought. "Uh yes.. Might I ask your expected return date? Will it be longer than six months?"

You sighed. This was a spontaneous decision.

You honestly did not know how long you were going to be mad at Joker. He abandoned you for months and your heart just couldn't take the neglect anymore. How long was long enough to forgive such a betrayal?

This decision might be extreme from an outsider's perspective, but you saw no other alternative. Joker was not a man one could reason with. If his dreams of mass destruction were more important than your love, then you'd leave and let him have at it.

Things were not supposed to be permanent between the two of you anyway. Joker had long since overstayed his welcome and you were a fool to let him stay pro bono.

It could take the rest of your life for Joker to see what he lost. You had the patience; didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

You heaved a sigh. "Undecided. I have another residence I'll be staying at until my return."

The locksmith gave you the thumbs up and stood outside the door. Everything was ready for your departure. All that was left to do was perform a last sweep of the place before the power and water were cut.

Your manager spoke up. "Of course. I'll leave it blank." He gathered the paperwork and sent a nod your way before boarding the elevator with the locksmith. Then you were left alone.

Joker couldn't believe his eyes as you walked around, running your hands over the covered furniture with a bittersweet smile. Your penthouse held so many memories and you were leaving it all behind.

"I know you'll watch this later. Whenever you're not busy enough to notice me gone." You said out loud.

Joker bristled in his seat. Much to his surprise, you locked eyes with one of his hidden cameras and spoke candidly.

"Is killing the bat more important than me, your precious Light? If it is.. then don't bother trying to find me. I'll be far away from your reign of terror soon enough. G-Goodbye Joker."

He watched you turn off the lights for the final time and close the door on your way out. Joker was speechless as you rode the elevator down to the main lobby and hopped into a SUV before it turned the corner out of camera range. He couldn't read the license plate it moved to fast.

Silence fell over the apartment's remaining camera feed before it went dark as the building manager cut the power. You were gone and you took the light with you.

He felt numb.

Joker sat for the longest trying to get his bearings straight. Was his work more important than you? Joker wasn't so sure anymore. His hands were shaking and there was a buzzing in his ear that wouldn't go away.

Shock. He was going through shock.

Remembering your tears were what brought him back. Leaving was hard on you too. You didn't want to go and that gave him the strength to take action.

Joker had to win you back at any cost. He jumped out of his seat so fast it spun and fell over. He brought his phone up to his ear to start issuing out orders.

"Check flights out of Gotham to errr.. Martha's Vineyard. She went to the beach house n' I want the.. jet ready when I get to the airporT."

Joker was calculating how long it would take him to fly full speed when, twenty minutes later, his phone buzzed with a text.

Beach house empty boss.

An attachment was sent over with a message thread from the gang's Boston division leader. J read it over while raking a hand through his greasy hair. There was no movement detected at the beachfront property and no flights out suggested that you headed there.

If you weren't in Massachusetts then where on Earth were you? Joker didn't have much time to mull it over.

The more time he wasted was another minute separated from you. You didn't have any other pins on the map to flee to except....

J made another call. "Blüdhaven. She went home." He growled into the receiver. Why didn't he think of it sooner?

Frost copied loud and clear and quickly called in an old favor to validate the claim but much to his surprise, his informant came up short.

It was a tough message to deliver but Frost was the right man for the job. He had to deliver this news in person. Joker was still at the main hideout packing an overnight bag when he felt a presence behind him.

There was only one person brave enough to walk up on Joker.

Frost shifted his weight standing in the doorway. There wasn't a nice way to put this so he just came out with it. "She's not in Blüdhaven."

He watched Joker stop packing and drag out a deep sigh. It came straight from the soul and carried the frustration of the situation.

Frost knew his boss better than anyone and knew this was hurting the clown in more ways than one. "We got face recognition software running through all the states, boss. We'll find her."

"She uh.. dared me to walk out and I did like a fool. Now she's gone. I... I lost my light." Joker tipped his head back laughing. It was bitter on the wind. "'t's not so funny now."

Frost had never seen his boss look so defeated before. It was truly a dark day indeed.

Everyone noticed the sudden change in Joker. He was far more irritable and bitter. One mistake and it would cost someone their life— no questions asked.

The original stress that was weighing on the entire gang was gone and replaced with the unknown variable that vexed Joker. It was literally like walking on eggshells around him.

Joker's patience was non-existent and only Frost could speak to him for longer than two minutes and survive afterwards.

Joker was back to his old, more unhinged self. He couldn't sleep a full eight hours anymore and used copious amounts of sweets to stay awake. As a result, his alertness wasn't the same and regrettably, Joker let the voices you silenced long ago return to haunt his every thought.

Mac, Neo, and Frost took it amongst themselves to help the gang stay afloat.

They could not afford to appear weak to the rival gangs or to the GCPD during this moment of uncertainty. The top three could run the illegal business, no sweat.

Joker was too busy trying to find his Light to care.

The face recognition software was a dead end. It was as if you fell off the face of the Earth which was impossible for someone as high profile as you.

You still posted online to your fans (bouncing your IP address off of servers from overseas; Joker always said you were a smart bunny) and kept an active social media profile. But off the screen? You were a ghost.

Joker had no clue where you were and neither did the countless goons scattered across the country who were secretly looking for you.

You were somehow doing the impossible— alluding Joker and his wide stretch of power. He used his assets across the US to try and track you down with no success.

At one point he feared the worst and assumed you were dead and that some imposter kept your socials active until he got the best lead he had in months.

These days Joker kept to himself in the underground hideout, the same one that he kissed you in for the first time. When he closed his eyes, he could picture it as if it were happening all over again.

He couldn't bring himself to step foot in your apartment when you weren't there to brighten its cold interior.

That place was dead to him if you weren't there.

A pile of return to residency letters from the apartment office were scattered in the corner of his room along with the other assorted mail he intercepted. He told himself that you would want to see them when— not if, but when you returned. That was the thin thread of hope that Joker clung to.

You had to come back and he'd wait for you.

He was mindlessly staring at the walls when Frost and Mac burst into the room. They shared a look at Joker's obvious depression but decided to deliver the good news anyhow.

"We found her! She's hosting an art event!" They both saw the glimmer of hope enter Joker's sad eyes.

"It'll be held in Dallas, TX two days from now. We already contacted the Dallas division and they'll be expecting our arrival." Mac's joy was evident in his tone. "We found her boss!"

Joker tried to be optimistic but he needed solid proof.

Over the span of five months, you hinted and failed to make due on any in-person meet and greets. He knew you were keeping a low profile to elude him but your fans weren't happy by the fact. They wanted to see you and so did Joker.

J was still a big fan of yours.. And if it was one thing you loved in this world, it was your fans. You could never let them down.

You were coming out of hiding for them. Frost handed Joker a printed copy of the announcement.

It was an aesthetically pleasing invitation depicting the time, date, and location of a local artist's exhibit. Joker knew what was going on. One of your fans was having an exhibit and you agreed to bring in publicity while earning some money on the side. You were listed as a special guest who would sign books to match every purchase made at the show.

It was an incentive for people to buy and it gave you good PR.

It was a good business deal and Joker smirked knowing that you were the brains behind the idea. You loved giving back whenever you could.

Joker nodded at his men for a job well done. They would be on the move to touch down in Texas and get a feel of the area before the event.

After five long months, Joker would finally see the light.

Everything was going to plan as Joker and his team held up in a hotel a couple blocks from the event.

The chips were all set and the only thing standing in the way was the rain.

"What if it's cancelled?" Mac whispered to his comrade.

He wasn't the only one thinking the same thought. The day started out clear with some stray clouds in the sky but nothing concerning. But as the event start time drew closer, the sky split open and a downpour fell with no end in sight. There were sporadic times where it let up, bringing hope of a dry afternoon, only to darken and rain again.

Neo fixed the blond with a deadpan stare. They did not travel all this way for some rain to stop them.

"Then we follow her back to where she's staying and corner her there. Simple. We ain't leaving til the Boss sees B. Look at him man.." Neo nodded in Joker's direction and they both turned to look at their boss.

Joker was pacing the hotel suite already dressed in disguise for the event.

He was mumbling to himself (louder than normal) and they could hear your name and jumbled up apologizes mixed in between lighthearted threats to never leave him again. He would pause, nodding sagely, before breaking out into a laugh at something you said.

Joker was having a conversation with you to himself.

Mac nodded at Neo, still watching the horrific sight. "Yeah... he's lost it."

Frost came into the suite and spared Joker a fleeting, concerning, glance. "It's a go. Let's head out."

They walked down to the back entrance and into cars to make it to the popup building in the heart of the art district.

It wasn't an overly formal event but they each blended in with their dress attire. It was to be expected once they stepped into the glass enclosed building.

Despite the rain, the place was crowded. The sun was setting over the horizon and live music was playing off in the corner as people mingled and socialized amongst themselves.

Tasteful art ranging from contemporary artwork to mixed media sculptures decorated the all white area. It was dimly lit and still, the place shined, all thanks to the event's special guest.

You were walking arm in arm with a fan of yours, who was also an up-and coming artist on the Dallas stage. She was responsible for the framed art hanging over your fireplace in Joker's bedroom.

She was dressed in all black whereas you were the pop of color. There was an aura surrounding you and Joker truly believed the sky cleared because you smiled and told it to.

Someone handed you a mic as the last raindrops hit against the glass ceiling overhead.

"Well would you look at that?!" The crowd chuckled in unison and gave you their undivided attention.

"Good afternoon day! Thank you all for braving the rain to attend this special event! I am honored to announce a good friend of mine's first art exhibit! She has worked tirelessly to make today possible so please, I will literally hold each person who leaves empty handed accountable. And may Hunter use you for archery practice."

The crowd laughed at the inside joke to your book and you continued with a smile, "But seriously! I present.. (insert favorite artist)."

You began the round of applause as your dearest reader and online friend hugged and took the mic (and attention) from you.

She went on about the inspiration for her debut collection and reminded everyone that with each purchase they would receive a signed copy of your latest trilogy.

Joker cancelled out the rest of her chatter; he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He was hypnotized.

He thought you would be depressed and miserable these past five months but you looked perfectly fine, thriving even. You had a glow about yourself and your smile was as bright as ever yet he couldn't ignore the obvious.

It didn't reach your eyes.

It took a person who knew you well to notice. Your smiles were wide and expressive but there was a ghost of sadness haunting your eyes. It broke Joker's heart to bear witness to it.

If Frost didn't grab his arm, Joker would've knocked down the throng of people to get to you. Joker growled at Frost for touching him but the henchman knew it was an empty threat.

"Patience. Wait until she's alone." Frost whispered. 

It would've been nice to know that would be next to impossible!

For the next hour and a half, you mingled with people and thanked others for their purchases. Joker knew you weren't a people person, and definitely not an extrovert to handle all this attention. You were gonna drop like a drained bunny tonight. He hoped you'd be back in his arms by then; however, there was no open window for him to swoop in to make that happen.

Joker had Frost and the others fan out as he circled the showroom floor, pretending to take in the art pieces. J was admiring a picture that he thought you would like when his eyes caught movement.

A man dressed in black came and whispered in your ear once you finished talking with a customer.

Joker was instantly jealous and wanted to brutally murder the man until he noticed his role. You hired security. How cute.

He'd deal with that later. He was more focused on what was being reported.

Whatever was spoken wasn't good. You failed at hiding your frown as your e/c eyes darted around the room. Your eyes missed Joker by a hair.

"S__t, I think we've been spotted." Mac sighed into the group's earpieces.

Neo seconded that statement when you tapped your artist friend on the shoulder. You excused yourself for a few minutes and she bid you well before focusing back on making a big dollar sale.

You waved and smiled sweetly at others as you made your way through the crowd. "She's moving, now's your chance, Boss."

It didn't matter who said it, Joker heard it loud and clear.

He nodded and walked away from the painting to where you disappeared to. You were standing in a back hallway arguing with your head of security.

"What do you mean he's here?! You promised me it was safe and now you're telling me the complete opposite?!"

He grabbed your hands to calm you down, "Y/n, I know what I said, but things can change. This is The Joker we're talking about. What matters is getting you to safety okay? Lemme do my job." He was leaning in to caress your face when he gasped in pain.

"Miles? What's wrong?" You looked on wide eyed as Joker pulled a knife out the poor man's back and stepped into view.

Miles took his last breath and fell to the floor in front of you. You took one look at Joker and froze.

"J... Y-You just.."

Joker scratched his head with the bloody knife, "What? He was about to... touch.. you. I can'T have that. Can't. Have. That.. Now! Hi." He saw you were about to scream and he rushed over to cover your mouth.

Your back hit the wall and Joker shushed you sweetly when you struggled. He hated how you were looking at him in fear.

"Don't do that Bunny. No.. no no no this is not how I planned our lit-le uh, reunion. Mkay? Shhh. Let's... let's start over... I missed ya Bunny, where ya been?" Joker asked.

He leaned in closer and rubbed his scarred cheek against yours. You flinched and tried to avoid his touch altogether. He hardly noticed and enjoyed his first dose of contact with you in months.

You knew that time could change a person but the Joker holding you was vastly different from the one you loved. He terrified you and not in a good way.

He let his hand slip from your mouth so you could talk. "Away f-from you!" You hissed.

"Don't be like that Bunny. I just.. I just wanted to see ya." He mumbled way too close to your lips. His breath fanned over them and you shoved him back in a panic.

"G-Great! You saw me, now leave me alone!" You glanced at the dead body near your feet and whimpered. You knew what kind of man Joker was but physical reminders were a bitter pill to swallow.

"Why are you here?"

He didn't respond. Since you pushed him away, he turned his attention to your beautiful hair. You had it down for the event and he buried his nose into the luscious curls before breathing in deeply. His eyes rolled back at the familiar scent reentering his nostrils. He missed you so much. 

You on the other hand were freaked out. "Joker!"

He sighed at your tone but leaned back to stare straight into your eyes. "Come home."

"Excuse me?"

He curled a strand of your hair around his finger. "It's not the same. I'm not the same." He stressed.

"Sounds like a personal problem." You gritted out.

You tried to slip away from Joker's imposing figure but he had you blocked in. You did well to erase Joker from your life these past few months and you weren't about to let him sweet talk his way back into your good graces. And especially not since he just killed another man for simply trying to do his job.

You didn't know what had changed Joker but you weren't going to stick around and find out. You didn't care if he wasn't the same; you weren't either, but day by day the pain he caused was healing. His appearance today was just lemon juice on a fresh cut.

Joker pouted and pretended that your words didn't affect him. On the inside, he was tearing at the seams. All this time and you were still upset with him?

What on Earth did he do?!

"You neglected me, that's what! For three months I tried to get your attention and you iced me out! Work was more important! You didn't have time for me! You stopped making time for us! I ached for you and you weren't there Joker! And you don't even care!"

He didn't know he asked you aloud but he was finally getting the answers he sought after all these months in the dark.

Joker knew exactly what you were referring to. There was a gang turf war going on and he couldn't afford to be distracted. He was extremely busy at work but he didn't mean to push you away.

You began to cry as you confessed to J.

"I was alone and miserable! I-I thought you hated me or didn't l-love me anymo–"

Joker snarled and quickly wiped your tears away. He then grabbed your face and forced you to stare into his pleading green eyes.

"Listen to me, I could never hate ya Bunny. I thoughT I told you to never think that. I cannot... function.. without you. These.. uh, months apart have been hell. You think I could hate you? No. No, another moment away from you is enough penance but I know you, Bunny. My Light, my sweet girl.."

He rested his forehead against yours and you hiccupped as tears ran down your face. Joker and his way with words were getting to you.

"My Light would not let me suffer in vain. I made a promise, Y/n. I'd never hurt you– I didn't mean to, I was working to protect you. Everything I do is to keep you safe. Never doubt that. I don't hate you, I need you. I can't stannnnd the dark, doll."

You were listening but it wasn't enough to sway your heart. "You pushed me away.. I felt so alone." You cried.

Joker shushed you again and wrapped you up in his arms. His exhale shook your frame and made you crumble. You couldn't run away from Joker.

He was forever bound to your heart and soul, that no distance or margin of time could unravel him. You felt so stupid for running away and you broke down into helpless tears.

Joker hummed and began rocking you in his arms. His warm hands rubbed crazy figure eights on your back as he reacquainted himself with holding your body.

You still fit like a puzzle piece in his arms with your head resting perfectly against his chest. He had to lean down a bit to rest his head atop yours but in this position, he could protect you in all aspects.

He missed being a savior. He missed having a purpose. He hoped you gave him a second chance.

"I need my Light. P-Please come back to me. I'll do the any-thing to have the uhh, honor, of callin' you mine again. Please Y/n."

He squeezed you tighter after saying please. Such a rare word in Joker's vocabulary, you knew he was serious. Your head shot up to stare at him. The sight that greeted you almost made you faint.

He couldn't be... You cupped Joker's face and nodded.

"I need you too. I'm so sorry for running away, please forgive me, Joker." You kissed him and he followed your lips when you pulled back. "I'll come back, heck I'll come home tonight! London is way too dreary for my tastes."

Joker stiffened up hearing the locale. "What?"

You didn't hear him since your eyes connected with your dead head of security. "Joker, you killed someone!!"

"So?" He grabbed your chin to face him again. "I got my Light back. That's.. that's all I care 'bout." He kissed you again and he rejoiced when you wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen it.

He ignored Neo and Mac in his ear arguing back and forth on who was cleaning up the dead body or Frost interrupting them both with a, 'Would the two of you please shut up? The boss is having a moment!'

Everything was back to normal.

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?

So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....

Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....

So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.

And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”

And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”

And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”

And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.

Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.

“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.

“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”

Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”

“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 

“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.

“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”

“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 

What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?

Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 

“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”

He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”

As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 

“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”

Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.

“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”

He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”

Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”

Signal just snorts.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”

“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”

“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”

“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”

Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”

“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”

“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”

“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”

“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”

The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.

“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”

Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”

“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”

“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 

“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”

“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”

“You did what?”

“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”

Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.

“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”

“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.

“Plus he bribes better.”

“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”

Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”

“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”

“Its called an homage, 4chan.”

“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."

Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.

“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”

Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”

Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.

“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”

“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”

Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”

“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.

Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”

“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”

“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.

“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”

“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”

Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 

“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”

“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”

Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”

“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”

Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.

“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.

She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”

“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.

“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.

“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”

She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”

“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.

Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.

Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.

“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”

Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”

“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.

“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.

“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”

Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”

“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”

“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.

Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.

Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:

“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”

[elysianslove]

please use this ask to elaborate on mattsun’s dick <33

AH YES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING gotta do this before i start fasting lmfao.  this ended up being sadder than i thought, but it just ends up being kinda sweet and sorta hot. also this was way longer than i intended. post in reference.  

warnings; big dick mattsun, throwing up, pain kink (?), painful sex, insecurities, consensual taping  

okay remember when i mentioned the insecurity thing? let’s dive deeper into that; third years and mattsun are at some sleepover thing. it’s a little before graduation, and they don’t when they’ll see each other next, so they’re trying to make most of the time that’s left. the conversation progresses to sex, as it naturally does, and each of them admits some horrifying or embarrassing sex story. 

iwaizumi had sex with a girl who was extremely kinky and asked him to slap her, but— they don’t call him ace for no reason. 

oikawa lost his virginity to this girl and she started her period halfway through, but he was really young and didn’t realize that was something that could just happen? it wasn’t that he was immature about it. it was more that he fainted. 

hanamaki found out he was allergic to flavored condoms when he lost his virginity, and it was not fun. 

but then it was mattsun’s turn, and they’re all waiting for his embarrassing sex story, till he hits them with, “i’ve never had sex though,” and each and every one of their eyes bulge out of their heads. it’s the last thing they’d been expecting from him, from cool, suave, charming mattsun, but he continues to swear by it. and when they demand the reason — surely you’ve gotten the chance to before? — he admits it to them: “apparently my dick is too big.” and it’s comical to say out loud, because he’s only gotten with a handful of girls, barely any for it to be firm hypothesis. he thinks he’ll one day meet someone that doesn’t think it’s too big, it won’t fit, um i can give you a handjob, if that’s okay? 

all that evidently leads to a dick comparison, because how big can it really be? and once mattsun sees his best friends’ eyes widen at his hardened dick, it sinks in. shit, he really is big, isn’t he? 

“holy shit, mattsun,” makki says, and he’s bashful as he stares at his best friend’s dick. “how would that fit inside anyone?” and mattsun’s already growing soft, tucking his dick back in his pants and moving to wash his hands after kicking makki rightfully in the chest. 

college comes around, and he passes by a thousand girls crying about how the boy from last night’s dick was so small, ugh i wish i had an 8 inch, and the things i’d do to have my guts rearranged. he sees a little light in this tunnel of endless blue balling, and meets a girl, takes her back to his dorm with his lips biting at her neck and her hands fumbling with his belt. as soon as he falls onto the bed, as soon as she straddles him, naked, and moves to slip off his trousers, anxiety meets him halfway again, and he holds in a breath as she pulls at the hem of his pants and takes his boxers with her.

the gasp his half hardening cock pulls out of her is confusing. he can’t tell what to make out of it, but she spits on her palm and grips his hefty cock in her small palm, unable to have her fingertips meet. her eyes are wide, but she seems determined, even tilts her hips forward, but she resorts to, “can i just suck you off?” 

and mattsun thinks alright, that’s an upgrade. 

when she ends up throwing up because she underestimates his size and overestimates herself, mattsun offers her his bathroom to clean up, and grabs her a bottle of water as she leaves. 

he ends up losing his virginity to some masochist, and it’s not very memorable or anything he’d ever imagined it be. it sits high on his list of regrets: he cums way too early, and hurts the masochist too much for it to be enjoyable in any way. but he texts the old third year groupchat and types in “i lost my virginity 😎” and receives the praise he had expected. 

for months to come, he fucks his fist every other night to amateur porn and watches as some camgirls’ cunts swallow inches and inches of plastic cock. he hooks up with some girls only to have them sit on his face and kitten lick at the head of his cock. some swallow a little bit of his cock, some fondle at his balls, but none ever let him fuck them. oikawa sends him links for sex toys, and mattsun feels as pathetic as ever, but he buys a fleshlight anyways and finds purchase in how tight it feels around his cock, how wet and slippery it is, how it properly milks him dry. makki meets him during a break and offers to suck his dick for him, but mattsun flips him off and kicks at his stomach again. 

it’s during his third year that he meets you. 

you’re sweet and charming, , and you have pretty hair, and he likes your style, and you laugh at his stupid jokes. you call him handsome, and you call him pretty, and you compliment his hair when it’s at its curliest. you send him the weirdest memes and tell him it reminds you of him, and you pick him up at obscure times because you’re craving nuggets or ice cream or ramen or licorice. he asks you to be his girlfriend and when you say yes, he blushes so forcefully that he has to scrunch up his face to try and hide it. he lets you meet his friends through a screen, and he buys you matching rings because he enjoys the subtlety of it all, and he orders donuts to be sent to your place  during your exam week. 

being with you is a dream, so much that when he hovers above you, kissing at your lips like he always does and sucking at your neck the way you love, and you murmur that you want him, want all of him, his hands fumble and shake. he tries to hide it, but his breath is shakier and his chest is flushed, his eyes a little hazy. you’re so gentle with him, and he hadn’t known he needed it until you’re straddling him and slowly smoothing your hands down his chest, palming him through his too tight briefs, squeezing softly. 

when your hands reach for his briefs, his own snap to your wrist, and he dares to beg, “please stay,” and you kiss him in response. your breath hitches at the sight of him, and your hand shakes when you spit on it and grip at his cock, but despite your initial hesitance you don’t falter. 

you stroke tentatively at his cock, squeezing him tightly, and fall closer to him, hovering your lips by his as you ask of him, “stretch me— stretch me for you.” 

there’s only one word to describe everything mattsun had been feeling in that moment, and it’s overwhelmed, but it’s somehow in the most positive way. he sits up straight, keeping you on his lap. his fingers find your dripping cunt and he pushes one, two, three, four fingers inside of you. he makes you cum twice, fingers curled and rapidly thrusting into you, other hand occupied with your sloppy clit and mouth latched onto your nipple. you praise him and thank him and cry for him and writhe in his hold as he pleasures you, and when you’re breathless and limp in his arms, he waits for the ball to drop, for you to give into your anxiety and hesitance. 

except you don’t. 

you lift yourself up on trembling knees, hands settled on and gripping his shoulders, and with teary eyes, you say, no, you beg, “make it fit.” 

he has stars in his eyes as he grips his cock tightly with one hand, the other holding you to him by your waist. it’s slow, it’s painfully slow, but mattsun has never treasured time as much as in that moment. he takes in everything, from the way your body tenses at the first intrusion when his tip presses against your hole, to the small gasps and moans as you take more and more of him in, at the sweat that beads at your temple and that rolls between your breasts. he marvels at the heave of your chest and the roll of your tummy as you curve in yourself, and he revels in the press of your lips to his, in the pull your arms looping around his neck and pressing his chest flush to yours. 

he does cum too early, but you don’t chastise him. you only continue to ride his soft cock, his cum messily dribbling out, and he ignores the sting from his sensitivity in favor of rubbing at your clit, sending you over the edge eventually. 

he texts the old third years groupchat that night again, with you sleeping soundly by his side, comfortable beneath his blankets, “why didn’t you guys tell me sex was this good? fake friends,” and sends a picture of him shirtless, sweaty, and with a post-sex flush to his cheeks and messy curls, with the middle finger. 

maybe you shouldn’t have let him have a taste of you, because he fucks you in bed the next morning, sleep still settled deep in your bones, and then he fucks you in the shower, and then he eats you out splayed out on his dinner table. he videotapes you sucking him off, with your permission, and watches it when you’re too far out of reach. he sends you pictures after a shower, gripping his cock through the briefs he’d quickly slipped in, hair wet and curly and matted to his forehead, skin damp and glistening. and when you react so positively, he blushes, to his dismay. you meet his friends and they joke about how you’re still alive, but you brush them off and tell them you’ve never felt more satisfied. 

with every single time he watches his cock sink into your warm, tight, sloppy cunt, and every time he watches you swallow around him, and every time he makes you cry and leaves you braindead, leaves you mindless and begging for more, his confidence grows. so much until he learns to be cocky about it, so much that when he barely preps you and pushes into you, he shivers at the way you whine and tense up, at the way you flinch and lightly thrash. because you’re a good girl, aren’t you? always take my cock so well, don’t you? nobody but you, nobody like you. 

and it’s true; it’s nobody but you for him. in every single way.

hello what the fuck am i doing. i did not think this was gonna escalate like this hfskjfns but anyways, big dick mattsun for the win <3 

[soilaluna]

types of kisses they give you

mikey, baji, chifuyu, mitsuya, draken ft. f!reader. tw: cussing, mild suggestive content

‏‏‎ ‎

mikey: palm kisses.

mikey can fool the general public with the stoic demeanor he carries everywhere but not you. you can see that he's always thinking. always.

and it's understandable, he's got much in his plate: toman, those he lost, those he constantly worries about.

it's not easy and, because of that, you let him be. cause if it was as simple as asking him to forget about everything—the pain, his concerns—, he would've already healed long ago.

you knew it would take time and you promised to stay by his side every minute he needed.

but letting him take his time to get there doesn't mean you'll let him get lost in the way.

you can see when the gears in his head are turning too fast.

you're in the couch, he's resting between your legs and against your chest, talking about trivial things when he goes silent and his eyes get lost somewhere in the room.

you know he's not really there with you anymore.

the seconds pass by and he hasn't returned yet. so you decide to bring him back yourself and do what you always do.

"baby," you whisper, dragging your hand softly against his cheek.

mikey immediatly snaps out of it. he glances up to you and offers you a closed smile that it doesn't reach fully up to his eyes.

he grabs your wrist and moves your hand to his mouth. then, he presses a kiss against your palm. he doesn't say it explicitely, but he still sends the message with his lips lingering against your skin.

it's ok. im ok.

and he really means it everytime he kisses your hand. that small caress has become his anchor, it keeps him grounded and forces him to escape from the dark place he usually falls into.

it takes just a touch to remind him that he hasn't lost everything yet.

‏‏‎ ‎

baji: long and messy kisses.

baji’s extremely physical and, fuck, he can never get enough. he’ll always look for any excuse to kiss you. 

hello kisses, that’s a good idea kisses, only-if kisses. 

maybe it’s just the honeymoon phase and it’ll probably end sooner than later. that’s what people around you has warned you anyway. 

baji’s a criminal, baji’s too hotheaded, baji this, baji that. 

fuck them. 

you know baji. he’s a mess, he snaps too often, he’s got a wicked sense of humor but... god, he treats you so well.

you’re addicted.

so, instead of following what you consider unsubstantiated warnings, you stick with him through thick and thin. 

whether at a party in a lonely corner, or somewhere in your room, you always find a moment to just kiss and not say a single word.

you’re almost drunk off eachother. calmed yet greedy, hungry for his lips and viceversa. his hands are everywhere: on your chin, your waist, your ass. yours pass through his hair to his back. 

he goes slow, so slow it’s almost torture. there’s a lot of tongue. you only part your mouths to breath for a second. you open your eyes just long enough to see a spit-trail linking your lips. 

baji let’s out a chuckle full of mischief before he eagerly goes back in for another.

‏‏‎ ‎

chifuyu: clumsy and fun kisses. 

it was an accident. chifuyu almost hits you with his bike and both of you immediatly began to argue about who was at fault. 

one thing led to another and after a month you were known as the girlfriend of toman’s first division vice-captain.

you both act like childs and often bicker over the smallest things like what's the best lollipop flavor or what’s the fastest route to the store. 

the rest of toman watches over you like parents. if someone asks them why you behave like this, they'll answer that you're just idiots in love.

of course, none of your arguments escalates to something serious. and most of the time chifuyu offers you truce in exchange for a kiss.

"no," you say, walking away from him.

"no? what do you mean 'no'?" he asks, following you behind, disgruntled with your answer. he just ate the most horrible candy there is and he's asking to kiss you precisely for that reason.

"no as in no, dummy. come back when your tongue doesn't taste like shit."

you stop hearing his footsteps over the concrete. confused, you stop yours and turn around.

there he stands, with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

oh, no.

"no, chifuyu," you warn, walking backwards. he advances slowly like an animal stalking its prey. then, he breaks into a sprint and you have no choice but to run away.

it takes him only seconds to catch you. he grabs you by the waist and lifts you up in the air.

"no, chifuyu!" you scream. it's torture, but you laugh and feel like your lungs are going to escape from your chest.

he throws you on the grass, making sure to cushion your fall with his arm.

"come on. m I that ugly?" he teases, hovering over you.

You look at him in silence, eyes glowing with adoration. You lift your head just enough to peck him in the lips.

"You make me wanna puck," you mumble. Chifuyu only smirks in response.

both of you suddenly go in for another kiss and end up colliding your foreheads.

“ouch.”

‏‏‎ ‎

mitsuya: peppered kisses. 

he’s literally a dream come true.

you met through your sister’s school. luna and your little brother went to the same class. 

one day, no one went to pick up luna or her younger sister, mana, at school. so you decided to keep them company until someone showed up. 

takashi would then appear running and apologizing on behalf of his mother who’d forgotten. in gratitude, he invited you to have ice cream and the rest is history.

you got used to spending more time at his house than yours. he needed to take care of the girls and you were more than willing to give him a hand. of course, your brother would always join in visiting them.

yours and your boyfriend’s hands are always full. if it’s not them needing help with their homework, it’s luna and mana inviting you to play dress up with them or your brother dragging takashi so he can teach him about his motorbike.

and while both of you truly enjoy spending time with them, you can't help but need and want some time alone.

most of it you spend it together on the couch, where you can watch the kids playing at the backyard.

"stop," you laugh, once he hovers over you and starts peppering your face with kisses. you're extremely tickleish and he knows this.

"make me," he answers, hiding his face in your neck.

you immediatly call in for backup, "guys! help! help me!" you shout between giggles.

takashi whispers 'coward' in your ear and braces himself before the kids throw themselves against his back.

‏‏‎ ‎

draken: paused kisses. 

he's not a big advocate of PDA.

so throughmost most of your relationship with draken you stay very private and low-key.

you attend to toman's meetings with frequency and he treats you no different than the rest.

and you're ok with it. you understand that toman's no longer just a tiny, kids gang and he, as the vice-president, feels the need to put his whole head into it.

however, he always tries to find a way to talk to you.

but when he can't even approach you for a few seconds to ask how you are, he's in for hours of unendurable longing.

those days, when he's done, he won't even wait to be in a more private place.

he just drags you to his bike once everyone's left, leans against the seat and cages you in his arms by your waist.

you talk for minutes. he chuckles at something you said and stares at you in silence.

"what?" you laugh, nervousness coloring your voice.

draken nods with his head. "nothing."

he grabs you by the chin and places his thumb over your bottom lip, caressing it with great tenderness from side to side. then, he leans and gives you a slow, open mouthed kiss. it's brief but still leaves you breathless.

he rests his forehead against yours before speaking again.

"i just missed you so fucking much today."

[awkwardspontaneity]

Hello. This is my first request for the Legend of Zelda, so I do not know how to write it correctly. I don't speak English and I'm writing this in a translator, so there may be mistakes here, sorry. In general, I want to see how the reader will react to the fact that Revali, Link and Sidon cheated on her. (something made me feel sad) Thank you in advance ╹▽╹

I'm so sorry something happened to upset you. If it's along the lines of this request give me a name😤👊 anyways thank you so much for requesting!! This ended up being so much longer than I intended but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope this is what you're looking for!

✨ requests are open✨

Warning: angst, cheating

Revali🐦

I think with his prickly nature not a lot of people would stick around long enough to get to know how much he cares

But some bitch saw how much he was training to perfect his powers to help Hyrule and couldn't resist

It started off as bringing him lunches and heat pads after a long day of training and then it escalated

They would wrap his wings up and suddenly he was letting them fix his braids. He never saw it as much more than a fan helping him out but you saw differently

It ended up in a big fight when you finally brought up how Revali was allowing this fan to hang off of him like they were his partner not you. You brought up excellent points like how he took such a long time to even trust you with braiding his hair and that he could at least let them know he's in a relationship.

Revali got upset (probably cuz ur right and he can't admit it) and snapped that at least they appreciated him

Yeah bad move. You walked out and bird brain left to train away the pain

You came across his first and decided to head to the shooting range with some peace snacks but what do you find?

You walk up the slope towards the archery range, a container of Revali's favourite snacks in hand. As you approach you see something sitting inside the hut and assume it's him. Sterling your breath you walk into the hut and what you find takes your breath away- not in the good way either. Revali sat there with his wings wrapped around them, too caught up on their liplock to notice you standing there.

CRASH

The container hits the ground with a shatter, ruining their little scene.

"Y/n-"

"Don't even try it." You wish your voice didn't sound as broken. No matter how much your heart squeezed in pain from the betrayal, you wanted to come off so much different- angrier. Because you were angry. "Just because we have an argument does not give you the right to run off with your new friend."

Revali flinches at the word and you feel a sick glimmer of satisfaction. He opens his mouth to protest, ignoring your glare. "I-I'm sorry." Your glare darkens and he immediately flounders for the right words. "You accused me of something I didn't do-"

Yeah, not the right words. You wish you could do something, anything to hurt him like he hurt you. But you had to be the bigger person no matter how much you wanted to snap that precious bow of his in half.

"I accused you, not have you permission."

"We can work through this, together" his wing reached out to you, but you recoiled to fast.

"We're not together." You walked towards the entrance "I hope it was worth it."

Link 🗡️

Link is a closed off person. Sure he has people worship him for his title as the hero of Hyrule, but he would never let that get to his head. You could tell this boy he's amazing and it still wouldn't get through his insecurities

Maybe it's cruel but, that almost reassured you he would never break your heart like that. You felt secure in your relationship

That's why it was so shocking when you found out he had fallen for Zelda.

It wasn't meant to ever be more than knight and princess. And you never should have found out.

You were walking towards the stables of your party was staying at. It was supposed to be a simple trip to complete some research out in the plains. Of course your trip was ambushed by an energetic princess who begged to come along for research purposes. You couldn't complain because the addition of the princess also came with your boyfriend Link.

Now you were looking for him outside the small ranch. You fully expected him to be caring for Epona like he always did after a long trip. His love for his horse was something you had always loved about him. The way he would stay later than everyone else to make sure she was okay. It had made stables kind of your spot. Hanging out at the end of a long day to talk and spend time together while caring for your steeds.

Maybe that was why your heart felt so utterly shattered when you did find him, standing next to the stable, with the princess in his arms. Maybe you could have fooled yourself into believing he was being friendly if he hadn't pressed a long loving kiss to her forehead followed by both her cheeks, chuckling softly as she giggled.

You knew they had always been close. I mean they spent all their time together. You'd just never thought that Link would do something like this to you.

You walked away from the stables fighting backs the tears in your eyes. It was only when you found you had walked into an older area, a spare shack outside, that you finally let the tears fall. Your heart twisted in pain as sobs tore from your throat.

Why hasn't you seen this? Why weren't you enough?

------

Your research trip was almost over. You had gone back late into the night to find Link on the edge of his bed head in his hands. He had shot up to demand where you had been when you finally walked in and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he accepted that you had been organizing your research supplies and notes in quiet.

That had been 3 days ago. You had spent the research trip sticking close to your colleagues, poring over each plant and testing their uses. The princess was too distracted with her own interests to really notice how you shied away from her presence. Link had though. And he was about done with you brushing him off in favour of your work. You both were busy so not having time was nothing new. But this was different. You couldn't meet his eyes and he had caught you staring at him and Zelda as if you were about to cry before. He was at a loss and now he needed to figure things out for himself.

However he wasn't quite ready for the answer.

"I saw you and Zelda together."

His throat closed up. He wanted to say so many things. How sorry he was. How he wished he could have told you himself. How he wished he could hold you and forget how complicated things were.

"it's okay." Now that, he wasn't expecting. "I thought I could be mad at you. Both of you. But I guess... It just makes sense." You sniffled softly. You really didn't want to do this. You hated that it had to be you who gave up. But we're you really going to fight? No. As much as it tore your heart into pieces, you would stand aside for them. "I wish that things hadn't changed but, clearly you don't feel the same anymore and I don't want to hold you back. I love you. So much. But I don't deserve this, and I won't put either of us through the trouble. I hope you two are happy together Link."

As you walked towards your friends to head home Link felt his heart clench. You deserved so much better.

Sidon🦈

You were a princess from another kingdom, betrothed to Prince Sidon of the Zora. We all know how these things go, neither of you were all that fond of the idea but you would go through with it. For your kingdoms

You tried to be as understanding as possible of the situations, knowing that the prince was just as trapped as you were. So you played along with your parents wishes.

You two went on dates and spent time together, getting closer and closer until finally you kissed him.

Things were great. You were planning your wedding and enjoying the time you spent with your fiance as you prepared for your future

It wasn't until a few days before the wedding when you were trying on your dress that things fell apart.

Your dressmaker had been in a bad mood, grumbling as they worked and even sticking you with needles a few times. You would have brushed it off as a bad day if not for the facts that they seemed so unapologetic.

You finally brought it up, softly asking if there was something wrong and if you could help. They snapped, going off about how you were ruining the princes life and that he didn't love you and was only marrying you for his kingdom and that he deserved to be happy.

They realized their mistake and left quickly, leaving you alone in your wedding dress with shocked tears slipping down your face.

You later made you way to Sidons office, hoping to clear some things up and maybe seek comfort from the one you loved.

What you didn't expect was to find him already comforting someone. Your dressmaker.

You watched as he whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to them. It was when he said no matter what they were the one that he loved when you broke away.

You stood in your room, packed bags beside you. You knew there were better ways to deal with this. You knew that your kingdom was counting on you and thus marriage. You just couldn't go through with it. Not anymore.

"Y/n?"

You sound around to find the Zora princess standing in your doorway. Mipha had become a close friend in your time in the Zora domain, even feeling like family as you worked closely planning the wedding. She had once told you that you were everything she could hope for in a sister and wife for her brother. You guessed it didn't matter in the end.

Finally you choked out pained words "I can't... I just... I can't do this anymore."

"If you are feeling nervous, I can assure you my brother would never hurt you."

This made you laugh. It was cold, similar to the ice creeping into your veins. "He would. And he did." You cut off Mipha's confusion, wringing a hand through your hair, "Sidon is in love with someone else. I made every effort to work through this engagement despite our... rocky beginning. But he didn't choose me back. He never wanted me, and I won't ruin his chance to be happy."

The room was silent after your outburst. You only noticed the tears when your friend wiped them from your eyes. She offered you a small smile, sharing the pain you felt. She was losing you and still understood it was best for you. You needed to move on and save yourself from a life of pain. A life of being chosen second.

"I hope one day we can meet again, sister."

You let out a choked mix of a son and laugh. Hugging the princess before you grabbed your bags and walked out the door, out of the kingdom that stole your heart and crushed it in its hands.

"I love you, always."