#helluva rewrite

[campbell-rose]

Ok ok i'm a liar oops. Saw the Millie short (I have thoughts) and the season 2 trailer and i had to do my poor sweet underdeveloped bird girls justice.

Octavia is virtually the same personality wise, except she has hobbies that Stolas is completely unaware of but Stella supports fully. Specifically taxidermy, which Stella finds fascinating. I don't vibe with the design after staring at it for a while, but this was just a doodle and potential colors, i'll have to draw Stolas and then figure out her colors.

In demon lore, Andrealphus teaches lots of things, but he is said to teach astronomy, so i decided Stella (as her name would suggest) is very knowledgable on the subject and star gazes. I gave her a galaxy esc dress similar to Stolas's s1 ep7 outfit and changed her colors a bit.

They have a good mother/daughter bond in this because if Viv can't write a good mother figure then I'll do it myself dammit.

Stella is basically now all the fan theories before she was boiled down into a shitty one dimensional abuser to make the uwu gay bird sympathetic with a bit of my input.

She is the younger sister of Andrealphus, who married her to Stolas as a way of moving up in the world - as Stolas is a Prince and Andrealphus is a rank below him as a Marquis. Stella initially was distraught but tried to be good. She tried to find common ground, seeing as both her and Stolas liked stars, but they never clicked fully. When Octavia was born, Stella shifted her attention to her and started being passive aggressive to Stolas, letting her years of anger out on him in little jabs. Things along the line of her throwing a not divorced party but she doesn't loudly insult him in front of her guests.

When Stolas cheats on her with an imp, she's fucking furious. She's given up her entire life to this man, to bring her family name higher and her husband cheats on her with an IMP. The lowest of the lower class, and now her gossipy high society friends she's spent years getting into the good graces of will know. So she's a mix of fucking furious and just a tinge hurt. She's not justified btw, i just want to show her side of things for once because Viv is allergic to developing female characters.

She adores Octavia in my version. Utterly adores her. So of course she takes Octavia and tries to keep her away from Stolas as much as possible. She loves her daughter and wants to raise her better than she was raised.

That's all I might do a Sallie May and Millie redesign again who knows

[hbheavensent]

Stella/Stolas

Figured it would be best to start with some of my favorite redesigns! Welcome back Worst Married Couple In Hell!!!

For Stella I wanted to really focus on her lack of agency in her own life down to her outfit, dressing her in her husbands purple/blue shades with her own pink/purple shades being just an accent. I also imagine this Stella being unable to read beyond very basic stuff, corset training from a young age, and has a heavy focus during her upbringing on her looks. Taught how to balance books on her head rather than understand them. One of my biggest gripes with Stella in the show is how she is primarily there to make Stolas a more perfect victim, she acts to make us as the viewer feel bad for Stolas. Viv, I feel, forgot that she wrote both of them into an arranged marriage where they were forced to have kid. Another thing I wanted to explore with Stella moving forward was her abuse of Octavia, rather than her being a Disney villain I think her being neglectful as Stolas is would be interesting. Where Stolas is holding onto a younger, less angsty version of his daughter, Stella never wanted anything to do with her. It's not from a place of hate as it is pain, Octavia being a walking reminder that she is trapped here with this man who can do whatever he pleases. Coming around to Stolas I wanted to lean a touch into a more manipulative vision for him. Well meaning for sure but definitely with a victim complex. This lends into his own neglect of Octavia, trying to force a relationship that just is not there and hasn't since she was a child. Stolas at his core wants to be a good person but as a young man, or really as a young boy he didn't know the proper way to parent or be a partner to Stella in that way. This of course leaves Octavia isolated, which I'll go more into later. In my vision, Stolas does realize much too late that he does love Blitzo but it's much less glossed over with his fetishization and disrespect to Imps. His primary confusion is not that it happened but rather that he doesn't realize his impact on others, which is his main throughline in his relationships.

I will probably have more to say laterer but for now this'll do as a jumping off point for the rest of the story/concept.

[anontheghost]

So... What is the deal with Blitz's and Moxxie's upbringing?

Let's start by saying the obvious: Blitz’s and Moxxie’s families are almost exact mirrors to each other: They both have terrible, greedy fathers who just enjoy making their lives miserable and amazing dead mothers who we know nothing about except their cause of death and how much they are missed by their sons. 

The only significant distinctions are that Moxxie's story is splattered with glossy mafia paint and that his mother was drowned while he was still a very young child. On the other hand, Blitz's mother, Tilla, died when he was a teenager and was burned to death. The rest? Pretty much the same.

However, the similarities between their backstories are not really the problem; after all, in real life, we can find people who lived through similar traumas and that is a pretty interesting aspect to explore in fantastical stories as well. 

Many other shows have done it incredibly well (Bojack Horseman) but Helluva Boss failed in that department. 

The very interesting family dynamics were only bought at the surface level, not explored in any meaningful way except to give the characters “cheap trauma moments” that could potentially get ruined by either the insertion of out of place comedy or never mentioned again. 

How am I supposed to treat Crimson’s abuse of Moxxie as something serious when the minute before dildos popped out the walls for a joke? How did Blitz’s guilt over the fire and his mother’s death truly affect his relationships—romantic or otherwise? Was it all just a narrative plot to drag the Stolitz charade for as many episodes as possible? Heck, we do not even see Blitz and Mooixe interact more about their shared trauma! Or about how much they missed their mothers.

It is a little depressing because, despite knowing nothing about Moxxie and Blitz's mothers, we, the viewer, are expected to care about them and see their significance. Instead we are left with a million questions that will probably never have an answer. 

Were they really good parents or are their sons only remembering the good parts of their relationship because they are dead? 

How did they truly influence their kids? Did Moxxie’s love for musical theater come from his mother? Did Blitz’s fascination for horses be because of Tilla or was it someone else?

How was their relationship with their husbands and why did they stay even after the marriage went south? What brought them together in the first place? Because, in all honesty, both couples just don't seem compatible in any way, that one just can help but ask how did everything worked.

Sadly, we can only speculate. 

So, without further due, these are my speculations. Part of the great rewrite that I am doing of the series. Because sometimes terrible writing decisions just move my creative juices in the right direction. 

Tilla and Cash Buckzo.  “I do love you, as much as I am capable of loving anyone, which is never enough.”

What would have happened if Princess Carolyn and Bojack Horseman ignored all the red flags in their relationship and chose to get married anyway? That wouldn’t have been good, but that is exactly what happened to Tilla and Cash Buckzo—the result was a messy marriage where love could not overcome their different views on life and incompatible personalities.

So... why did they stay in a marriage that was not working? Simple, a divorce would mean financial ruin for both of them.

Let me explain. 

(Worldbuilding note: How marriage functions and how people in Hell generally view it is one aspect of the Hellaverse that truly baffles me. To avoid confusion, each ring in this revision will have its own set of marital norms and perspectives.)

(In the Greed Ring, marriage is nothing more than another business transaction and is treated as such. Two individuals may absolutely hate each other, but if the marriage will benefit them economically, then they will go through with it.)

The sole compelling argument for Cash and Tilla's marriage was that it was the wisest course of action to maintain and save their respective livelihoods. Imps are not permitted to own companies (as I stated in the Stolitz Non-Romance rewrite.) and in the Greed Ring, Mammon owns ALL of the entertainment industry (circuses included) and he will not hesitate to shut down a circus if it is not bringing the profit.

The small circuses Cash and Tilla were supervising were on the brink of bankrupsy, so what better solution than to marry each other and combine their assets? It will give them more time to survive.

In hindsight, their plan worked perfectly; Tilla and Cash were able to build up themselves financially, and using their combined business talents, they were able to expand their new big renovated circus and turn in a profit that would keep Mammon off their backs. 

They were great business partners, but as a couple, they lacked a lot. 

They did occasionally have tender moments, but they were squandered by arguments, lengthy silences, and extremely uncomfortable dinners. At one point, they even began sleeping in different beds, just to avoid fighting. Everybody who knew them could see that they were just not good for each other and could barely tolerate the other presence.

This begs the question: How did they manage to have Blitz and Barbie?

The decision to have a kid was straightforward and, like their marriage, based on business. They wanted a successor to take over their responsibilities when they died, as it was something now needed as the circus grew. So one night, they decided to get drunk and just get it over with.

But, to the surprise of themselves and everyone else, Tilla and Cash were their best selves throughout the pregnancy. 

During those four months that the pregnancy lasted, Cash and Tilla acted like a happy couple, anxiously waiting for the arrival of their beloved baby. They no longer fought; they were just too busy happily imagining a future where the three of them would be happy while preparing for their child.

Maybe everything would be okay; their relationship could only get better from now on, right? Once their beautiful little girl arrives, they will be a complete family of three with no intentions of adding more. 

Yikes.

In their defence, there are few medical facilities available to imps, and when they attended the controls, the physicians informed them that they would only be having one child, Barbie.

Their budget and plans were severely ruined by Blitz's unexpected arrival because they were only ready to provide full care for one baby, not two. If Mammon kept the majority of the profits, how would they be able to buy two of everything? 

They would endure a long period of hardship and didn’t they enter this marriage to prevent just that?!

Tilla, being the mother and the one who gave birth, accepted this change, promising to love both children equally; sadly, Cash didn’t.

It didn’t take too long before they started fighting again, even if it was in front of their kids. As you can imagine, growing up with parents who fought even for the most minimal of problems leaves a long-lasting impression on a child and how they will handle their own relationships in the future. 

To this day, Barbie still has problems telling her girlfriends when something is wrong or is upsetting her. On the other hand, Blitz gets overwhelmed when he notices things going south in a relationship and leaves it all together. 

Things didn’t really improve much as the twins grew up. 

Sure, the family had their relative moments of peace, but Cash only paid real love and attention to Barbie, being the child he really wanted while completely ignoring Blitz. Tilla, upset about this but knowing that Cash won’t change, tried to give more attention to her son, accidentally ignoring her daughter’s needs.

Yes, Tilla was not a “perfect, angelic mother," canon portrayed her as. If anything, she was a little bit overbearing when it came to Blitz, as she felt she needed to make up for his father’s abandonment. She genuinely believed that Barbie didn’t need her as much, and the girl liked to spend more time with her father anyway, who needed to train her to take over the circus.

At this point, their family was divided into two separate families that just happened to live in the same house: one consisted of a kind but overprotective mother and her son; the other, a strict but understanding father and his daughter/heir. The only point in which Tilla and Cash interacted was when they worked on the circus, or when they were fighting for the most minimal things. 

Their family dynamic was mostly like that... until Tilla died.

Blitz remembers only the good moments he spent with her, looking at her actions and life with rose-colored glasses of love. For him, Tilla was the perfect mother who basically could do no wrong. 

However, if you ask Barbie, she’ll say that while she is sad that her mother passed away, she is unable to truly feel devastated since she never knew the woman well enough. Barbie is even a bit resentful for the times Tilla chose to spend time with Blitz instead of her.

And with Cash... How would you think Bojack would react if PC died before him? 

Now… what about Moxxie’s family?

Crimson and Belia (Name I am giving Moxxie’s mom)

"You better grow up to be something great, to make up for all the damage you done."

One particular thing that I noticed about Crimson is how young he looks despite being Moxxie’s dad. If I knew nothing about Helluva Boss and someone showed me a picture of those two, I would 100% believe they are siblings, not father and son.

While we can attribute this to Vivzie's inability to draw older men, why not play with this?

Let's set up the stage.

When Moxxie entered the picture, Crimson and Belia were just seventeen years old and not even dating. However, I suppose that when you are a careless teenager, the consequences of forgetting the condom don't truly hit you until something goes wrong.

As one may expect, Crimson was not happy with the news and was even more angry when Belia told him that she wanted to keep the baby and sustained her ground no matter how many times Crimson told her to get rid of the pregnancy. Why not? They were both fucking teenagers, just fooling around and he had no intentions of becoming a father, at least not this young! What was truly stopping her?

Nobody truly knows why Belia chose to keep her son to this day. 

When alive, she would tell you without a doubt that she loved her child from the first moment and couldn't bear to let him go, even in the face of less than perfect circumstances. But Moxxie hasn't believed that version of the story in a very long time. 

Moxxie now thinks that the main reason why Belia had him was because she didn't want to endure the awful and harsh conditions of an Imp Health Center. Due to the horrible way the doctors treated the imp patients, lack of medicine and equipment, most imps avoided those places like the plage.

Unfortunately, sick imps had no other choice but to go to the centers for treatment. Because if an imp even dares to step a hoof on the more well equipped hospitals in Sloth or Lust, they would be immediately kicked out no matter the emergency.

For more serious issues, wealthy imps (like Crimson's family) would hire a private physician. However, Belia was aware that Crimson would never spend that kind of money on her. 

Or maybe Belia didn’t want to give Crimson the satisfaction of getting out of his responsibilities. 

When Crimson's own father learned about the, at that point, already advanced pregancy, he forced Crimson and Belia to get married. Given the Knowlastname family's significant power in Greed's imp neighborhoods, Crimson's status as an unmarried young father would be viewed as a shameful scandal.

Belia only consented to the marriage because she had nowhere else to go. When her parents found out that their seventeen-year-old daughter was expecting, they were so disappointed that they disinherited and prohibited her from ever returning home.

(Later, when I rewrite Exes and Oh's, I will go into more detail about what Crimson’s family does in the Greed Ring. They are still involved in “less than legal” practices and loan sharking, but is a little bit different than in canon since now I based the Greed Ring in the entertainment industry.)

Of course, as one may expect, things in that marriage went south real fast. 

Every time Crimson looked at Moxxie and Belia, he saw nothing but the two demons who took away his carefree teenhood together with the respect of his father, and with each passing year, he just became more and more cruel. At one point, he simply started physically abusing his wife, who always put herself as a buffer between Moxxie and Crimson.

If Belia dared to raise her voice against her husband, Crimson would merely tell her that the opportunity to leave him went away the minute she decided to bring “that brat” into hell without his permission. Now she was just reaping what she sowed.

Being physically and mentally abused by her husband (who, as a bonus, also turned everyone in the household against her) took a toll on Belia’s mental health. She still wanted to be the best mother she could be, but how can you raise a child in an environment where everybody sees them as the enemy? When your mind makes your body so heavy that getting out of bed becomes an impossible task?

More than once, Belia considered taking her son and moving back to Wrath. But then, to where? Her parents didn’t want to see her; she lost contact with her friends, and since she never finished school, she had no hireable qualities. How would she support herself and Mooxie if she decides to leave? Being a single imp mother in hell is not easy!

It was impossible! At this point, she just needed to endure. 

She will not let Crimson win; she will not let that man break her and Moxxie. While Crimson was definitely stronger than her, putting on a smile after a beating that sent Crimson into a frustrated frenzy was all she needed to feel she had won, even if her body stated otherwise.

There were also the times she and Moxxie went on hikes together, pretending that they were going on a grand adventure as far away from Crimson as possible. Being happy when Crimson didn’t want them to was the little act of rebellion she needed to stay sane.

However, Belia’s breaking point came after Moxxie’s seventh birthday, just a few months after Crimson’s father died, when her “beloved” husband brought home another pregnant imp. 

Belia was no idiot; she knew that her husband had been cheating on her for years, but she never said anything because she didn’t care enough to do it. So, Crimson had a side piece? big deal, she stopped loving him a long time ago. 

However, it was too much to bear to watch Crimson, a guy she believed to be utterly cruel, be a loving and caring partner to this imp and be so thrilled about the birth of their cherished child.

I mean, when you witness the same man who repeatedly denigrated your son, cursed and beat you for being pregnant, joyfully decorating a nursery while choosing baby names and spoiling his new partner, whom he never raised his voice at, it can and will break something in you. 

Ultimately, what could be worse? Accepting that your partner will never change? Or realizing that you were never worth the positive change they could bring about?

What did she do wrong?

Moxxie still doesn’t know what happened to his mom; what is certain is that one day he woke up and she was not there. While part of him is sure that Crimson killed her so he could marry his new partner, there is a part of him, small but loud, that tells him that Belia abandoned him at the mercy of his father. 

Why would she not? Moxxie knows that he looks a lot like Crimson, so it was possible that at some point, his poor mother couldn’t look at him anymore without remembering her abuser. He is also familiar with the sad reality that, if Belia tried escaping with him, the possibilities of re-doing her life with a kid on her toe would have been very slim.

Not to mention impossible.

After his mother disappeared, Moxxie became a ghost in his own house. Apart from giving orders and degrading him, Crimson was more focused on his new family and new children to “waste energy” in a son he never wanted. While Moxxie’s step-parent was not physically violent, their constant degrading of Belia and their attempts to erase all trace of her existence really put Moxxie on edge.

Sadly, he couldn’t say anything because the first and only time Mooxie tried to go against their wishes, Crimson put a stop to that real fast. 

Moxxie had to see firsthand how Crimson was a true, loving father to his stepsiblings. He listened to them constantly, never yelled at them, and never struck them—things he never did with his first kid. He also made sure to teach them how their big brother was nothing but a failure and to stay clear of him since “wimpyness” could be contagious.

Moxxie wishes he could know them better.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o00

And this is all for today. I will give more information about Mooxie’s family (as well as his relationship with Chaz) when I rewrite Exes and Oh’s. Remember that these are mostly my first draft thoughts and can and probably will be changed for the final product. 

I hope you enjoy! I love when you comment!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Moxxie Redesign! (2/4)

You didn’t think I forgot about this did you? ‘,:/

I wanted to base Moxxie off of what his name actually implies, having nerve and determination. Ive almost entirely changed his personality in certain ways. He is still an assassin but he takes his job very seriously and struggles with his inner morals because of this. Being berated by Blitz often leads to him pushing aside his concerns with his job and causing internal conflict instead that he typically only ever talks to these issues about Millie. She is trying to get him to consider therapy but he doesn’t want to lose his “sparkle” (he gives in eventually and goes and it goes fine, this would be around season 2 but definitely after episode 6)

Moxxie also doubles as a medic for any potential injuries at I.M.P (this happens often). Moxxie was also born in greed so he has the more aquatic qualities of a greed imp such as the little headlamp, frills, and gills. And for any fish nerds, yes I know only female angler fish have headlamps, thats the point. Viv has literally no main trans characters so I guess I have to do everything myself. Plus I’m tired of the super straight shit that happened a few years back, Millie isn’t any less straight for dating a trans man. I think Moxxie certainly struggles with his masculinity and also takes his job so seriously as a way to prove to himself that he’s meeting some sort of “masculinity criteria” however he’s fully aware of how silly the mindset is (hes working on it). I think som trans imps may definitely paint their horns like Moxxie, but with certain days I really doubt he gives much of a shit considering it probably gets chipped a lot anyway.

Moxxie still hates his upbringing and the greed ring leaves a sour taste in his mouth, however he prefers to use his knowledge and features from greed in his work. For example, preforming minor surgery under his headlight, it’s goofy as hell and I think any show benefits from some extent of stupid silliness like that. It’s also good for distractions!

Moxxie isn’t always super serious like in this art either, he’s still a bit stupid but still respects himself. Tough nut to crack because of his past but is very kind underneath somewhere.

Heres some notes I went off while working!

- glasses (REQUIRED. Give him those stupid little circle spectacles)

- Get rid of the stupid suit

- Maybe some interesting horn stuff?

- Make him look a bit more like his voice, not sure how to describe this

- Write a boyloser properly

- Probably doubles as a medic? I think he’d be interested in medicine with all that errrm akshully energy he has

- Make him actually look like an adult (I tried)

- More of a fishy tail

- Born in wrath but both parents are greed imps so he has those features + moved back when he was like 6 idk

- Or idk maybe imps change the longer theyre in a certain ring? Could be fun

I have a lot more I could talk about with this guy but I’ll save it for some other posts :3

[doomalade]

Helluva Rewrite but leaning in hard with making Mammon basically Viv

“As your boss Fizz, I reserve the right to cut your pay, go on trips, watch performances, not deliver your merch to customers, and buy taxidermies.”

[lackablazeical]

Read for more character info here!!

I also HC that fizz honestly kinda hates his prosthetics (chaffing, weight, etc) but can't function well w/o em so he will typically keep one/both arms on and have his legs off (also helps him w/ practicing acrobatics!)

He's also mostly blind/deaf, he can only see really blurry colors and everything sounds like it's underwater for him. That's why his eyes are green (kinda like the imp version of very bloodshot eyes)

The only non-scarred part of him is the skin along his spine frfr

Also to the one MF who asked if I was homophobic bc I changed Ozzie and Fizz to a FWB boss/employee dynamic: yes

[who-is-this-weirdo]

Millie's Family Redesigns

[floral-cavern]

Y’all, my Helluva rewrite only has one chapter and I’m already getting a bunch of people telling me that it sucks. No genuine feedback, just people telling me I shouldn’t even bother trying to rewrite Viv’s masterpiece and that I will never compare (exaggerating a bit, but they are saying that it’s worse than the show and blah blah blah). Like, I get it, I’m not a professional writer by any means, so it’s probably not great, but I literally say at the very beginning that I’m just rewriting it for my own fun and because I have a bunch of ideas. The standom is crazy

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

What drinks could you see your I.M.P gang be?🍺🍸🍹🥂🍷

🔫Blitzø🐴: Moscow Mule. Strong, spicy but with sweet side(like him), and Iced(how he likes em and loves the name🫏. I imagine he can handle his liquor fairly well 🥃 and not really too picky with drinks. He def likes em hard enough to numb himself after a long day….or thinking too much on “stuff”.

🪓Millie🐂: Tequilla sunrise. Spicy & sweet, just how she likes em. Can really handle her liquor, even more than Blitz. Def enjoys spicy strong drinks like tequila! I can also see her have a bit of a sweet tooth so def enjoys a bit of sweetness with her drinks along with the spice, great balance! 🍹

🎼Moxxie🐊: French 75. Elegant & sweet just like him. I imagine Moxxie prefers lighter drinks, def a man of classic tastes 🍸🥂🍷 and fun fact, the drinks name was inspired from the 75mm field-gun used by the French during WW2🔫 perfect fit for our fav Gun-imp.

🌙Loona🐺: Blueberry Seltzer(fun fact wolves(I def see Loona be part wolf 🐺 ) actually like blueberries and in my take, Loonas a stoner and advice my friend @a-sterling-rose gave since I’m not the biggest expert with alcohol, weed & alcohol don’t mix very well so she’d most likely enjoy stuff like seltzers . I feel like if she had Beezlejuice it’d be watered down type of stuff or just flavour like it🍯🐝 I can def see her enjoy mocktails too like a Shirley Temple.

😈Addtional I.M.P facts😈

Blitzø would sometimes order Bloody Mary’s for his whole breakfast if he didn’t feel like making himself one🥓🥚 have you seen the kinda toppings they can get?! Calls it “brunching on a budget”.

Blitz loves doing drinking games 🥃🎱 would end up in the hospital trying to do “never have I ever”. Remeber when Quagmire was doing it? Like that🤣

Blitz is good at keeping track of happy hour 🍹🍻 other things not as much🤣

Blitz def enjoys getting crazy cocktails 🍹 enjoys trying out stuff with flashy colors and decor.

Alcohol tolerance High-low. Millie, Blitz, Moxxie & Loona.

DO NOT LET BLITZ &/OR MILLIE BE IN VEGAS! It will not end well

Millie’s great in drinking competitions would def do a shot competition with Blitz and win. Probably had tons of practice doing those with Sallie May(I can see her be a mint julep type). I imagine she def enjoys stuff with tequila too! I can see Striker be her best competition🥃

When it comes to Bar Trivia nights on the other hand…🩸not so well🩸 Warning, LOT of blood at the end.

Blitz & Mills have a fair share of bars they’re banned from. They sometimes keep track like a competition which Mox wish they didn’t.

Millie def went to a lot of saloon type bars back in Wrath. Loves the drinks. Loves the bar fights even more(there’s a very good chance she starts them or atleast def adding fuel to the fire) 💥🩸

Moxxie LOVES stuff like vineyard trips/wine tasting 🍷🍇 I don’t see Millie be too into wine/wine tours as much as Moxxie(I can totally see Blitz tag along if it means getting drunk with him). I can def see Moxxie being home meats & cheeses for Millie which she def enjoys 🍖🧀🫕

Moxxie def enjoys wine & cheese nights 🍷🥂🧀🫕 LOVES preparing charcuterie. Loona & Millie would most enjoy the meats, Blitz the cheese 🧀 🍖

Moxxies got a good collection of wine 🍷 great guy for asking to parties, brings good stuff.

Blitz has a lot of drink mixers.

I can see Moxxie be fairly good at making drinks himself🍸 even has his own lil kit. He was used to making em for his dad & associates.

Blitz has asked Mox for him tips & info about drinks/making them to make himself as well as occasionally impress Stolas🦉

If Loona was to drink stuff with alcohol I can see her like drinks such as Rum & coke, hard seltzer and champagne punch !

Loonas usually the designated driver for Blitz & the gang doing drink nights, second best chance would be Moxxie, third Millie🚐 Blitz is usually the one needing a designated driver with him.

What do u guys think? What drinks could u see fit the gang? I’d love to know💖

[a-helluva-rewrite]

Hear me out, this is a really random idea of mine but I feel like Helluva Boss should give Loona a girlfriend. It would be really cool to see one of the main characters in a sapphic relationship, especially considering how underrepresented sapphic relationships are in HB, and it would also be pretty cool bisexual rep to show Loona expressing romantic interest in both men (Vortex) and women, rather than slapping the bisexual label on her outside of the show but never once bringing it up in canon.

But representation aside, I think it would be a good move for Loona’s character progression. To me, her character arc is that she’s a troubled, sheltered hellhound who doesn’t know how to interact with people after years of isolation and abuse in the adoration agency. We see it early on in the series with her being super quick-tempered with the other members of IMP and seemingly having no friends, and later in episode 8 where she has practically zero social skills at Bee’s party. In Sinsmas we see her having real friends, which is really nice! I just wish we saw her make these friends in real time rather than have it all happen off screen.

If I were rewriting the show I would love to focus on Loona more and watch her learn to overcome her trauma and trust and befriend people. I think putting her in a romantic situation would be a pretty huge step in that direction and really test her ability to let other people love her and for her to love other people. It doesn’t have to be anything angsty (HB has enough angsty relationships already) but I think a little subplot where Loona goes from being an asshole to everyone around her to someone who is able to have a strong friend group and be in a healthy relationship would be some nice character development.

It honestly doesn’t have to be romantic, it could just be Loona having one best friend she gets really close with, but my lesbian heart yearns for a sapphic romance lol. + it being romantic could resolve Loona having a crush on Tex by letting her healthily move on from him.

Or just have her be in a polycule with Tex and Bee LMAO idc

[campbell-rose]

I hate Stolas. Oh my god. It's not even funny anymore. I used to tag posts as 'anti' this or that just so other criticals would see, but never actually hated the show. I can't like it anymore. I hate Stolas and the way the writers keep sucking his asshole and acting like he's somehow the victim. If he was a villain, I'd be praising his writing - he's a manipulative asshole. God, I don't even want to rewrite this show because the premise is so gone by now. "I'm uncomfortable with how you're speaking to me right now!". Bullshit, as if Stolas didn't constantly demean Blitz to the point that it was censored - ah forgive me, it was framed comedically then, oops. The first five minutes of this episode are a chore to sit through. At least it's animated nicely and Brandon and Bryce are incredibly talented. Honestly, I love Verosika, she's the only saving grace (and the background characters), she's like, a decent person and not a one dimensional bitch. This should've just been an episode about Blitzo apologizing to people and Stolas doesn't touch the episode. Like. Idk, he realizes how much better he feels after making up with Fizz and goes to a party Verosika is hosting on Halloween to apologize to her too. He still goes on his little apology tour, and the party is the main event. It's not a 'hate Blitzo' party, it's just a party - hell, maybe it's a party for people feeling scorned and shit, maybe it's a Valentine's party for all I care. Her and Blitz talking was my favorite part, (until it babied Stolas) I love Christina Vee.

"If you love him let him go" Verosika I love you shut up please <3 I hate him I want him to be miserable, he doesn't deserve random incubus my beloved.

[pleasantspark]

HelluvaHazbin Selfaware AU Rewrite: Mammon Sticks It To Beezlebub.

The room was silent as Mammon stood back, he seemed to be quiet, he tried to ask Leviathan (albeit awkwardly.) about catching up as they haven't been hanging out in awhile at all. But Levi mistook it as him trying to flirt with him.

That's when that fat shaming son of a bitch Beezlebub chimed in. "What's wrong, Mams? Mad because no one will fuck you? Look at how sloppy and disgusting you are."

Mammon's hold on the bucket of chicken he had tightened as his face turned a shade of red, he didn't let it bother him. No. He had better things to do instead of worry about what people said.

"Oh piss off you tosser!" He shouts back at Beezlebub, "Aren't ya the one who indulges in yerself? I thought the point of Gluttony was to pig out! Why are ya JUST now directing your disdain of me, a male indulging in my whims? I'd thought you of all people would be in support of it, or is it because rules of thee does not apply to me."

Silence.

It was far worse silence then Fizzarolli attempting one of the many, many, many tricks he had him perform only for the same imp to fail each and every time leaving Mammon to punish said imp for failure. Something he never liked to do, but had to do. Something he regretted.

The Silence dragged on until Asmodeus' smooth voice broke them from their respite.

"Actually, Mammon is, correct. Morally speaking why do you get to decide if what he was indulging in is gross? Come to think of it, aren't we all sins? Aren't we all just bad people?" Asmodeus asked.

"I have never thought to see the day where Asmodeus sees eye to eye with Mammon of all people." Satan rolled his eyes.

"Hey, we may have bad blood back from the days of the circus, and how he treated Fizz, but I won't hesitate to call out hypocrisy. I just don't get why it's okay for other people to do things that Mammon's doing, but when they do it, it's morally acceptable."

"Sometimes there's no real logic in way things work Asmodeus, sometimes you just have to accept that things are the way they are. This may be Hell, but that gives no excuse for people to be disrespectful to those without warning. Reminder, Hell doesn't give you the excuse to be far worse. You are your own person. You're not some person in a show that was centered around one point before turning into a literal fanfiction. Or written by someone who lacked basic actual context clues. You are a being that is in control of his own actions."

As Satan says this, the group looked towards the screen. Before turning back to their own works.

"It feels like I am written by someone who lacks basic understanding of nonce who thinks that all Aussie's are evil mustache twirling POS who are fat and unoriginal." Mammon said.

Before anyone can answer. The door opened, Satan expected Stolas to arrive but what he didn't expect was one of his kind, an imp.

"Who is this?" Satan asked, as the imp made her way up to Mammon and sat on his lap. She gave him a kiss on her cheek.

"Oh her?" Mammon smiled, "This is my wife, Seraphina."

Watching as Beezlebub's mouth drop open, and Mammon spoke again.

"Now, what was that about how, 'No one will fuck me' Bee?"

A/N: I hope you liked it, if you are all aware, my AU (the self aware au) is supposedly gonna affect everyone BUT Stolas, as this is meant to be for shits and giggles. This is tied to my @seraphinacriticizes and @mammoncriticizes accounts, I generally wanna get into rewriting the series and redesigning them. So if anyone wanna work together feel free to ask me in inbox or dms! I wanna work on redesigning everyone and adding new characters + characters from Zoophobia! The Criticize Blogs are somewhat of a group effort, I know I left the critic community but I would be around somewhat to talk about critical stuff or even making rewrite/redesigns! Let me know how this was.

[anontheghost]

Fixing Stolitz (Non-Romance Version)

First of all, I will start by saying that the Stolas and Blitz relationship had a lot of unused potential to do something really interesting. A dark romance between an extremely powerful demon prince and one of hell’s lower classes? Sign me right up. 

However, due to several bad writing decisions and the insistance of the creator to make the ship canon no matter what, all that potential went down the drain as it turned into something creepy and extremely unhealthy no matter what angle you look at it.

However, there is a key moment that, in my humble opinion, ruined the ship since episode 1: The Full Moon Deal.

Of course, there are additional things that made the relationship a challenge to begin with: The enormous class difference, Stola’s own prejudice towards imps, Blitz’s own walls due to trauma, Stola's inmortality, etc. But for this to work in one way or another, the extremely coercive Full Moon Deal needs to be erased or changed:

I have to versions on how this relationship may work: In one, there is no romance involved and is strictly a business relationship with the possibility of friendship and the other is a complicated romance about two people who may like each other but whose own circumstances may prevent them from truly being together.

So, without further do... Let's begin!

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

At this point, Stolas did not know if he should step in. 

Sure, he wanted to teach the stupid? brave? little imp who thought it was a good idea to steal his Grimoire a lesson. But honestly, this was getting a little ridiculous; it was almost entertaining. 

40 minutes have already passed, and the imp was still trying to lift the Grimoire with no signs of giving up. No matter how many times he flipped, felt in ground or how many muscles he strained, he just kept going. 

Others would have already left, running away scared, fearful of the consequences that such actions may take.

But not him.

Curious, now he was trying to use one of his heavier books to push the Grimoire towards the edge. A relatively clever tactic if it wasn’t for the small detail that he would have to pick it up from the floor later on.

The imp didn't enter the palace by himself; two others followed him in secret. They appeared to be a pair, and they were a little smaller than him. Also, they knocked down two of his best maids and stole their uniforms to “blend in.”

Naturally, though, he would not have been duped by those poor disguises. From the cook who makes his meals to the gardener who assists him in caring for his plants, he is familiar with the names and faces of each and every one of his subordinates. He hasn't, as far as he can recall, employed any more maids, especially two who were blatantly unprepared for the position. 

They weren’t even pretending to work at this point; they were just standing guard outside of his study, where the taller imp was still trying to steal one of the most powerful magical artifacts hell possessed and failing miserably.

 "Okay, stupid book,” The imp suddenly spoke, tired that the book simply refused to move, “I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but you are going to make Daddy really rich, so please move already!”

“Sir!” one of the smaller imps said, “Please keep quiet! What about the plan of taking the book and then leaving?”

“That was until I found out that this little book weighted the same as four elephants!” The imp shouted ever higher. "This thing is not bigger than a dictionary! How is this possible?!”

Because the book senses your lack of magic

Also, he hates being disturbed.

The imp jolted from the scare and confusion and before he tried to escape, I decided that it was time for us to have a little meeting. 

O)O)O)O)O0o0o)O)O)O

In handsight, Blitz always knew this idea was terrible.

Stealing a powerful magical artifact from one of hell’s great princes? That can easily be considered a suicide mission. However, sometimes you need to do crazy things in order to put food on the table. 

Imps offering assassination services were common in hell. Being one of the few jobs imps could still do while maintaining financial independence, it was a popular career choice.

Unfortunately, that meant a lot more competition. It meant another crew offering to do the killing at a much cheaper price and stealing customers from them. If things continue the way they were going, their little company won’t last much longer.

During a one-night stand with a sinner a few months prior to the robbery, he had the brilliant idea that would save his business. They said that he would give the sinner all his money if he could murder his violent parents and send them to hell.

“They are the reason I ended up in this trash dump! I would have probably become a better person if they weren’t pieces of shit.” He remembers the sinner saying, "It is not fair that they are still up there living the high life while I am suffering here!”

How many sinners would pay him handsomely to kill the people who wronged them on  earth? There is no other assassin crew offering those services so there would be no competition; they could charge double if they want to!

Who knows, they might even save enough for an office... but he didn’t want to set his expectations way to high.

Now… How, in the name of everything unholy, are they going to go to earth?

In order for a demon to enter the human realm, they must first obtain special authorization from one of the seven deadly sins. This process is not easy and can take months or even years. The only way for it to be expedited is if one of the sins sends the demon on a special mission, which hasn't occurred in more than a century.

In other words, it would be literally impossible for him and his all-imp crew to get their hands in one of those.

There were also the succubus, who were probably the only beings in hell who were granted permission to go to earth on the regular, thanks to the Asmodean Crystals that they were all gifted on their eighteenth birthday. Sadly for them, Blitz was not on good terms with any of his succubus exes, so asking them to lend them their crystal was out of the question. 

Which is how they ended up in Prince’s Stolas Star Palace, where they were going to use all their skills to try and steal one of the most powerful magical artifacts in hell’s possession: the Lunar Grimoire, which has the power to create portals to the world of the living. 

The plan was supposed to be very simple: Considering that Prince Stolas had the fame of being a total hermit who barely left his room, all IMP needed to do was avoid the master bedroom and go directly to the main study where the book resided; grab it and leave the premises before anyone notices. 

A very simple plan, which was not simple at all.

Blitz now knew that, considering he was glued to a table located in the middle of the vast space, with the hermit prince seated on the other side and he was not what he expected.

The prince’s was tall, like probably one of the highest demons Blitz has ever seen, at least three meters tall. His feathers were picth-black, blending his entire body with the vastness of space—the only way he knew that a body was there was the loose but intricately decorated clothing he was wearing. His face, however, was the most unselteling part, being literally the silver mask of an owl, completely expressionless except for his very red eyes. 

Which were impossible to decipher. 

“So… imp.” His voice sounded like it was coming from the deepest bottoms of the earth. “May you please explain why you were doing with my palace, trying to steal my Grimoire?”

“Huh…” Come on, Blitz! Think quick! “I am... the new imp in charge of cleaning the book! It is very nice to meet your owlness; I was hired just yesterday.”

“Oh! Did Mara interview you? Or was it Keneth? I am not so sure now which one is in charge of the interviews; it has been a while after all.”

“Yes! It was that Mara chick! She was so impressed by my amazing resume that she hired me on the spot!”

“Really? Where else have you worked? In Pride’s great library I assume?”

“Yes!” Blitz now said confidently, “With all the books, tomes and other stuff that libraries have.”

“That is very interesting.”

Before Blitz could ever have the chance to speak, he suddenly felt his legs becoming limp and slowly turning into stone. In a panic, he tried to leave, but that only accelerated the pretrification process, which now covered most of his body except his face.

“Mara is on paid maternity leave and won’t be back until after her son is a year old.” Stolas said solemnly, like if he were scolding a misbehaving child. “Keneth retired after 40 years of faithful service and is now spending the rest of his days in a cozy ranch in Wrath with his family.”

Blitz was now getting desperate; what would he say to this owl to calm him down? Was he even mad or just getting some sick satisfaction from torturing him? 

Moxxie and Millie! Oh shit! What is going to happen to them after he ends up as a statue? Will they end up as statues too? That can be! Those two just got married; they have a lot to live for!

“Wait!” Blitz shouted using the last of his strength. 

“What now?”

“Please, I beg you, let my two employees go; they were just following me here because I am their boss! They won't set foot in your palace again after this, I promise!”

Hold on a second…His employees? 

Curious. 

Blitz was freed from his stone prison with a little clap from Stola’s hands and sat down at the table once more, this time prepared for a tea party: Even though Blitz wasn't a tea drinker, his cup was filled with the most exquisite tea he had ever smelled, along with sandwiches, pastries, and tiny, elegant biscuits.

This left him incredibly confused. Wasn’t the prince going to kill him a few seconds ago? Why is he now offering him tea and biscuits?

"So are you saying that the two imps that are now desperately trying to open my door work for you?”

“ Yes…” Blitz responded timidly, “We are an assassination business.”

“I have heard of imps offering their services as assassins, but they were never a company.” Stolas took a sip of his tea. “I thought imps were forbidden to even open a business without a tutor.”

How could Blitz ever forget that?

Hell's Law, Section 4b, Subparagraph 6: Every imp in charge of running a business needs a tutor to supervise all movements. If not, the company is deemed void and needs to be shut down right away. 

With how many doors were closed in his face, he has that fucking decree burned in his mind. Honestly, he was just planning to go underground and move rings constantly if that was deemed necessary. 

“And what type of assassinations do you do?” Stolas said, noticing Blitz's uncomfortable expression. “It must have something to do with the human world if you needed my book for that.”

“There is no shortage of imps working as assassins in hell; the competition is big and more than once, we have lost customers because some newbies offered to do the killing for cheaper.” Blitz grunted, “I just thought that if my company offered something no other did, then we would finally be able to pay the bills at the end of the month.”

Stolas stood there in silence. This was a curious little imp indeed; he had never in his incredibly long life seen an imp so much determination; I mean, he even tried to steal from him to make his dream come true, and it was not a bad idea after all. It was terribly planned, sure, but in handsight…

He could make use of this.

“So… I understand correctly, you are planning to do assassinations in the human real, correct? In the name of whom?”

“In the name of the sinners, a lot of them are pissed off since they truly believe they got here due to the actions of someone else, like shitty parents, ungrateful kids, a bad friend, and a big list of etcetera.” 

“That is to be expected; humans are so predictable.” Stolas signed, his voice becoming calmer. “So I see that you would accelerate them coming here? Right?”

“Exactly!”

“And what would happen if the person goes up there instead of down?” 

“That would not be my fucking problem! No refunds ever!”  Blitz exclaimed prodly, now filling comfortable enough to take a sandwich and eat it in one bite. “For Satan! This is the best grub I have eaten in a while!”

“I am glad to hear it.”

Stolas took his Grimoire, a pen that appeared to be on his feathers, and a special paper that was big enough for Blitz as he was eating another sandwich. Stolas was already typing the strangest symbols and letters Blitz had ever seen before the imp could inquire as to what was happening. What is the owl doing?

But when a portal popped out from the paper and a huge forest in the human actual appeared, his sandwich slid out of his hand.

“You see, I too have my beefs in the world of men.” Stolas explained. “Every now and then a human may think that they are smart enough to outsmart me and refuse to honor their side of the deals they make with me” 

Blitz couldn’t even talk as he felt the fresh night breeze gently touch his leathery skin. It felt surprisingly good, especially since five minutes ago he was turning into stone. 

The portal then shut, and the paper was placed right in front of Blitz after being meticulously wrapped into a scroll and secured with a Goetia seal.

Was this real? All he needed to do all this time was just... talk to the prince? All those nights he spent with Millie planning the perfect heist were for nothing? Seriously?

But, hey, you don’t look at the teeth of a gifted horse.

Blitz was just about to take the scroll when a knife was put in front of him. It was literally the most beautiful piece of metal he had ever seen.  It was an object of quiet elegance, a perfect balance between artistry and utility. The steel glistened, its surface polished to a mirror finish, reflecting the world around it in a softened, almost dreamlike way. A whisper of an edge ran along its length, honed to such precision that it seemed to promise both grace and danger in a single, fluid motion.

Blitz took it into his large hands, his four fingers fitting perfectly in the handle.

“What is your name, imp?”

"Blitz... Blitz Buckzo” 

“So, Mr. Buckzo, tell me, are you willing to make a deal with me?”

Blitz, put the knife down… a deal with one of the princes of hell will bound him forever. He has seen this type of deal happening in movies and the powerful individual is never merciful or asks for anything simple. 

What if he asks for his firstborn? For Loona?

Or what if he asks for Moxxie and Millie’s firstborn?!

Or what if he asks for a freaky sex deal where he is going to be subjected to the most humiliating acts?! Those things only sound “sexy and romantic” in amateur fanfiction written by thirteen-year-olds with divorced parents who still have no idea what a real relationship even looks like!

“Are you okay, Mr. Buckzo?” Stolas asks, “I was just about to explain the nature of the deal we were about to make; I would appreciate your attention”

“Yes?”

“Good, because I was just mentioning that the knife that you are using is not an ordinary one as it has the special ability to trap a human soul inside. Once a month, when the moon is full, I will give you an extra target to kill—a moron human who thought they could outsmart me and need to be taught a lesson.”

“So I just kill them and then stab them with the knife, got it,” Blitz said confidently. This may be easier than he thought.

“It's not that simple; you will need to make sure to deliver the final blow with that knife so the soul can be properly trapped.” 

“Okay, use the knife; got it!” Blitz smiled, “Is that all?”

“In exchange, I will not only activate the seal each month, giving you access to the human realm anytime you want, but I will also become the tutor for your business.”

What?

WHAT?

“Honesltly, I thought that you would be more pleased.” Stolas signed. “I am saving you years of legal battling and paperwork.”

“I am not giving you my business!” Blitz shouted, angry, “I can’t  even give you a share of the company! We are barely making it as it is!”

“I am not asking for a share; I am not interested in money,” Stolas replied solemnly. “But if you will be delivering sould to me, you are technically acting as one of my leggioneres, which I assume you have no intention of being.”

“Well…”

“Additionally, remember that sinners tend to have a pretty loose tongue, and while that may be good for your company in the long run, what would you do if one of Lucifer’s soldiers knocked at your door, demanding to see the necessary paperwork?”

"I could leave and….”

“There are only seven rings in hell and the royal guards are stationed in every single one of them, catching sinners trying to escape pride; eventually you will run out of rings to hide.”

Blitz looked at the floor defeated; he had promised himself, Millie and Moxxie that he would do everything in his power to maintain their business as imp-owned and to never make their little group of misfits subject to the wims of an uncaring overlord, royal or even other hellborn. 

If he accepts this deal, then Millie would never forgive him, not after everything they went through in the past.

But realistically speaking, will he even be able to keep that promise? Stolas is right in one thing: Imps are legally not allowed to own businesses without a tutor to supervise them; those few who have tried in the past were taught a lesson pretty quickly. 

What to do?

“I promise that I will not ask you for money, not a share of your company and your way of paying me “rent” will be delivering me those sinner souls, nothing more, nothing less.” Stolas put on a contract in front of Blitz; how on earth did he write it so fast was beyond him, but maybe that was one of the powers the prince possessed. “Additionally, with my protection, you will be able to promote your business freely without fear of the king’s army knocking at your door, because if you think that being turned into stone is a terrible punishment, you don’t want to know what our king may have in store.” 

What do you say, Mr. Buckzo?

Are you willing to fight for your dreams?

Blitz’s signed the contract. 

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Millie Redesign! (1/4)

The Helluva Boss redesigns begin!

I wanted to start off with Millie to get a better feel of how I think imps should look and get down a baseline of wrath imps before I try working on any others since a lot of them look kind of the same? Idk I wouldn’t be able to tell Millie’s from wrath if there wasn’t a whole episode about it.

Oh I also wanted to make her actually look a bit more mature since I thought she was 20 years old tops but idk maybe she is! I personally just think shes like late 20’s early 30’s but up to future me. Here’s my notes that I planned out before starting actually:

Notes for millie design

- More confident/casual pose

- Weapon the doubles as farming equipment

- Give her a more rugged feel

- I need to feel like she could kill me with her gaze

- Big weapon maybe? Who doesn’t like oversized stuff

- Give her some scars, maybe a chipped or glued horn

- I know theyre cliche but.. overalls

- I wanna know shes from wrath I need to FEEL the texas

- Plus size but more built for strength and all that

- Maybe a cute matching bandana with her sister?

- Maybe make her tail a bit more pokey?

As you can see a few of these got lost in the process but I think she still looks really cute! Her redesign was actually really quick and only took me a little under 2 hours. Hopefully the rest of them will be this easy so I don’t have to look at another 19 hours of Vivziepop designs…

I haven’t entirely figured out Millie’s character yet but she’s likely going to stay more or less the same, just more fleshed out and not just Moxxie’s wife. She’s still the main fighter of the group since Moxxie is more sniping and medicine with how im working on him, but I think she takes a bit of an interest in Moxxie’s talents and vice versa. I still think Millie’s go to medical treatment is “rub some spit in it” and thats basically it/hj and last little tidbit, I based her a bit around places I visited as a child that were very southern to me. Also wanted her to look like she eats pancakes for breakfast 🥞!

[floralcavern]

How I would write the episode about Millie’s pregnancy

It would be about her insecurities of being a mother. As a kid, since she grew up in such a big family, she was kind of neglected. And, of course, it was still a loving family, but it still affected her heavily and caused her to have great insecurities about herself and not feeling good enough (which also contributed to her self hatred of being an imp). She just remembers not living up to the same strengths as her siblings and she’s scared that she’s going to neglect her baby in the same way. Maybe she could go to the farm to celebrate the baby shower and they’re exchanging memories about Millie as a baby and her parents don’t actually have that many stories to tell because Millie lived in the shadows of her siblings and she just ends up breaking down crying. Of course, Moxxie is a good husband and comforts her and they discuss their plan as parents and Millie talks to her parents about how she remembers her childhood and yadayada