#help me please I can’t stop procrastinating

[fabledflowerss]

What if Annabelle Cane was interested in period accurate fashion, specifically 1800s-1900s ? What if Annabelle Cane had lots of spider jewellery. What then. This is a way I get to incorporate three of my biggest interests at the moment (Spiders, historical fashion, and TMA) and also still meet my project brief.

[chillandcol]

No background because mmmmm i dont want 2

[thementalshawty]

PAC Current Energy Theirs Vs Yours, & Progress to each other

So I guess I couldn’t stay away too long I swore this time I was done, but then the ones that I comforted and helped with my readings reached out to me and gave me so much hope and motivation, I couldn’t let go and everyday I fought the need to do a reading on here I swear I did, but I can’t keep fighting against myself right????

This reading is a short reading about your energy and the energy of the person on your mind, whether it be your FS, Next Partner, Crush(I doubt this one but hey there’s always that one). Anyways I’m here to report any of the current energy from the both of you, and to tell you the progress of this relationship whether you’re close to union or not from decks I made if that makes sense.

As you all know this is a general reading and because of that there is no guarantee that everything will resonate with everyone, take what resonated and let the rest slide off to someone else. Also please know that tarot isn’t set in stone, the point of tarot is to bring clarity about a situation, so please understand that you control your life and the cards nor anyone in the world do! Great now choose from these 3 piles and let’s get started!

Emoji 1 :🏳️‍🌈

Emoji 11:😞

Emoji 111:👎🏽 (Don’t Get At Me The Emojis Were Chosen With My Eyes Closed.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Pile I:

Them: Their day is coming, I feel like spirit has something special in store for them p1 they seem to be progressing and doing what they need to do. They grey times have cleared, so pile 1 I feel like your person has been going through it, but now they’re starting to see happier times and moments in their lives. They definitely were going through some grey days before. I feel they were fighting depressing moments even at least some of them but now things are starting to look up for them. They are too focused on what’s going to happen tomorrow that they’re missing their shit today. They need to be more present and focused on the now and happening. They need to take accountability for themselves and themselves ONLY! It seems they maybe taking on the weight and responsibility for others and denying their own responsibilities to themselves i feel, and then coming up with excuses “well I’m taking care of so and so, that’s why I’ve been late or to busy or procrastinating.” Nah they need to own up to their shit, and allow others to hold their own weight I feel this person or people who’s weight they’re holding likes it that way and knows what they’re doing 🤷🏽‍♀️. I feel your person also makes excuses for those who weight they carry as well smh! “Well they’re going through a hard time and I’m trying to be there for them.” That kind of yada yada. There’s an amazing moment that spirit is surprising them with I literally said it earlier and that card came out for them! They have got some cool shit in store for them if it’s not happening to them already. Some kind of evolutionary moment for them is happening, skies are clearing, foggy mind is clearing and clarity is sinking in and the sun is about to shine over their heads! Shit is looking great for p1 person. I feel they have been indoors too much for some of your people, they need to get the fucc in public and socialize, I feel like this is a chrysalis moment, they’ve been cocooned and now it’s time for them to fly out into the world. The tiny steps they’re taking right now is leading to big progress for them! They’re making moves and they may not think so because it’s small and tiny steps, I sense this person being kind of hard on themselves. I heard that song by Bob Marley “take it easy, got to take it easy”. This is cos they have so many other people’s burdens on their shoulders. They’re weighed down but I think they may start to take accountability for themselves and stop making excuses for others! (🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽). I see they’re about to meet someone in a non romantic sense at least your person won’t see it as non romantic. They’re being too controlling, they’re trying to know everything, being nosy, digging to deep, not knowing when to back off and allow things to flow. This person sounds like a pushover, control freak, I don’t wanna say a neurotic person but 🤷🏽‍♀️. I also feel like this person is either older than you, more mature than you, has a lot more responsibilities than you do, or if they’re younger or the same age as you they had to grow up hella early started working young probably, Capricorn and Saturn dominance I’m feeling. Very limited mindset but I see it easing up and they’re starting to see a better light. Or they’re about too.

You: There’s some kind of energy against you, whether it be a person, a fear, a situation, etc, there’s someone or something that wants to take you down currently and your guides are letting you know to show no mercy, be a savage and fight for what you deserve, to some of you I heard stand up for yourself so, fucc that person or that thing that’s making you feel taken down! Fucc that! You’re amazing! There’s an upcoming opportunity entering for you, so be on the lookout, it can be the opportunity you’ve been looking for to defeat this opposing energy. I see that some of you have been angry over this, raging out, and your guides want you to laugh off any dumb shit that is happening at this time, you’re better than that and you don’t need to be enveloping that kind of energy, you’re not a sponge for toxicity! Anything that is pissin’ you off, annoying you, or trying to be a nuisance, just laugh that shit off or say that spell I am hearing in my head from Harry Potter (Ridiculous)! Trust me that energy, situation, person is not worth getting angry over! See!!! Whatever fear is in your mind is just that! In your mind! It’s a figment of your imagination this fear, so whatever you’re wanting to do, just do it and do it FEARLESSLY! Some of you guys have taken some big steps and you should be proud of yourself!!! I feel like not everyone in p1 has done these big steps yet. They’re about to. Your guides want you to know, that’s there is magical work in the background, so be very clear at this moment EXACTLY what you want! You guys need a moment of alone time to reflect and check yourself, a mirror moment is needed for you guys right now! See for some of you guys you did overcome the fear that’s been holding you back and for the rest of p1 you are now being informed that what’s been holding you back is fear. I also see that tiny steps were taking by everyone in pile 1 and that your guides want you to know that it’s leading to big progress and again that could be the opportunity to take that big step and face that fear! You need to channel your inner warrior, realize what you want, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT & charge after it fearlessly! Don’t let anything hold you back, whatever fear you have about it isn’t real so try not to think about that.

Progress: I’m seeing that as of right now, more healing is needed for them to progress and continue to the next level. I’m not sure if it’s more healing needed before you two meet or come into union but I’m seeing they need to heal some more, do more reflection and inner healing, I’m hearing acceptance. Some of you guys are on a karmic soulmate journey with this person so some of you asked about a crush or next partner most likely even tho FS’s can be karmic partners too. You guys right now are both going through some kind of lessons and ascending period right now, which can explain some of the drama, troubles and challenges you’ve been facing lately. For some of you they’ve seen you in real life, not in person yet tho, so this may be your FS or next partner, def not crush well unless you’re crushing on your next partner or FS and you’ve seen them before they’ve seen you. They’re having a hard time letting go of their past, whether it be a relationship or something, I’m feeling like those are the grey clouds in their lives. Your guides are letting you know to give them time. You guys are leveling up, so whilst your person may have a hard time during this ascension period, you pile one or at least most of you will be leveling up and ascending through. Right now you and your person are aligned right now and telepathically communicating, pay attention for any messages from them each time. I feel like this is for you pile one but it can also be your person someone is being too controlling when it comes to this relationship, you need to allow things to progress naturally. Don’t force it or worry, just flow, let things progress as they should with this person.

Them:

You:

😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞

Pile II

Them: They’ve got manifestations of abundance and success arriving to them now. I feel this person has been hella focused on getting they paper up and really been hella career focused and now it’s starting to pay off, they’re beginning to see some abundance and pay back for all their hard work, or they’re about too. They’re bettering a golden era of their life right now, they may even have an actual glow! Your person is going through a fucking glow up physically too, they may even look better or start to take better care of themselves, afford better self care products. They’re unsure of someone they feel a connection with, not sure if it’s you, but they have someone in their mind already, and that person likes them too, so maybe this is a crush for some of you????? Either way maybe you should go for it! They’re curious to know if they share a connection with someone in their minds & yes they do! They are doubting their abilities, not having enough belief in themselves and that’s been causing shit for them, they are struggling or coming to an end of that struggle and the majority of that struggle in my opinion is because they didn’t believe in themselves. They need to find a way to mellow out. If they 💨 they need to, or they need to meditate and just find a way to distract themselves, I feel they are in their head about shit. They got angels watching over them, protecting and guiding them! They really just need to trust themselves, this is a big issue in their current situation. They have healed a major trauma wound, they maybe weren’t ready to, or was surprised too? It could be fresh and so they’re learning how to stand without it, that shit is hard. They need to take accountability for their lives and don’t make excuses for anyone who isn’t handling their business, I feel like this person has a lot on their plate, I’m hearing pressure, maybe to be the best??? They’re about to meet someone new in a non romantic way (like pile 1) I feel like the person in your mind needs some shoulder to cry on, I’m getting helpful people coming in for them now. They’re confusing little or slow movement as no movement and their guides want them to stop discrediting their movement! They need to be more grateful and look around at what they have! Believe in themselves. They may have very low self esteem.

You: There’s a snake amongst you, p2, you need to move cautiously at this time. I feel like this snake is coming in the form of a friend, or is already there and embedded into your lives. You guys are too focused on the future and what’s going to happen, what’s coming, you need to be focused on what’s happening now, what’s going on in the moment, presently, those need to be your points of focus. Some of you guys fell back into old ways, habits shit even with older people and your guides are telling you to snap it the fuck out and get it together! A new chapter has begun for you guys pile 2 I’m hearing some but I wanna say it’s for all of pile 2 so maybe like pile one some of you guys aren’t there yet but I feel a bigger amount of p2 is there unlike p1 only a few has ascended or about to currently. You guys have manifestations of love progressing to you! So whatever manifesting that you guys are going to bring love into your lives is working and making it’s way to you! There’s something or someone that’s not for you and your guides want you to let that shit go and again that could be the snake around you that will reveal itself. With the love manifestations I feel like someone is manifesting a special relationship or person they’re coming I feel like if you’re trying it manifest a specific person, some of you it’s happening others will need to realize it’s not for them and let it go, this can be for people asking about crushes too I feel, like they’re not for you. Some grey times have cleared up for you pile 2 is about too, I feel like this was a time of confusion and fogginess for you p2, I feel you may have had something you wanted to do or an opportunity to make a certain love but you weren’t quite sure if it was the right move and you didn’t wanna look wrong or bad, or stupid. Pile 2 you’re so worried about the future that you’re kissing signs right now!!! You’re being sent signs but you’re missing them I feel cos you’re focused on shit you’re not meant to be focused on right now. A goal of yours was achieved in some way, it doesn’t have to be a huge goal it can be anything as simple as you decided to make your bed and you did! Shit committing to any tasks big or small is worth a sliver of pride! You will need to impress someone, maybe some of you had job interviews I’m hearing something about admittance?? Maybe school?? Idk but I feel like you guys will need to impress someone and spirits advice, keep them laughing.

Progress: Like p1 I see that your person is also having a hard time letting go of the past but I feel like instead of a person it’s habits and ways they’re not letting go of (old habits die hard, I heard that). Just give them time. Their fears, egos, & insecurities are shutting you out right now, so they’re not receiving any messages or signs from you right now. They’re starting to dream about you consistently and often, some vivid some not. Someone else is keeping you away from this person, I feel like this can be the snake! I also feel like it can be fears and insecurities and for those asking about a FS with a crush on the mind I feel the crush is blocking you from the FS, you think they’re the same person but they’re not. Some of your person(s), just started to dream about your energy. I feel your union is delayed or has been delayed or paused due to some karmic debts or some lessons that need to be learned and cycles that need to be cleared, this connection is destined for some of. This person is denial of your connection and it’s due to fears and insecurities. You both are going through a collective transformation, at the same time, so gear up!

👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

Pile III

Them: They’re about to receive recognition of some kind, maybe they get a new hairstyle, or outfit people take notice too, a reward or accolade from their work, or even familial praise, I see them getting recognition and complimented from that recognition. They’re too focused on work and career they need to redirect their energy just to something else, they are too worried about making the next move or catching that next dollar and it’s blinding them to something that they may need. They are so afraid to touch their money I feel like they are afraid of being broke and having no money, I am seeing their guides telling them to spoil themselves and buy the shit that they’ve been wanting. Classic case of workaholic mentality. They probably grew up in poverty not having the things they want and decided to never live like that again and they work non stop they don’t STOP! smell the flowers I’m hearing they need to do but won’t. They need to trade in their anger and laugh someone or something stupid has been pissing them off and they’re being advised to laugh off that dumb shit cos it doesn’t serve them. They’re about to be smiling more, I feel a lot of the pressure on them will ease up or they will start to feel that ease. They need to learn how to let loose and kick back, they need to enjoy some kid time like pile 1 I feel like this person also had to face adulthood and responsibilities very early on in their lives. They are being urged to find a way to entertain themselves, having a movie night is being suggested by their guides. They’re not trying to hear that shit tho, I feel like they’ve been told by others to slow down and be calm to enjoy some relaxation and I’m hearing they had a trauma response to it, they need to stop being so damn defensive and learn how to interpret what’s being told to them, I feel like again they fought tooth and nail for what they had and they were underestimated, I feel like one of them is a woman because I’m feeling pulled to say her, so whoever is asking about this woman she is being overly defensive right now about slowing down from work, she may have had to go without for a while and again she promised herself she never would. They will need to make an important choice, it will determine whether they go forward or backwards at this time. They’re dark cloud thinking right now, got their head in dark clouds thinking the worst and feeling like shit. What they don’t realize is that they’re actually into their ascension and progression they just need to keep going and get their heads out of dark clouds.

You: It’s time for you to go inwards p3 it seems like all the readers their energy is about self reflection! You guys need it! I feel like with you since it’s not mentioning reflection there’s something that you need to find on the inside of your mind or heart that you need to go searching for that’s what I honestly feel. Some of you are still tripping over the past your guides want you to know Fucc all that shit in the past it’s behind you know and you’re way beyond it. You need to get real with yourself! It seems that you’re running away from your own emotions and you need to face that, so some of you do need that reflection! I don’t feel like it’s all of you necessarily because we all need to reflect but this is seeming like some shadow work that’s needed for some of you p3. You made a wrong turn p3 and caused some kind of delay, so if you have been going through a pause moment it could’ve have been due to a decision that was made when you weren’t in the best mindset? Some of you here in p3 are tarot readers and you have gotten some advice to take a break from tarot, I’m hearing that you’re about to have a message or something sent to you but you may be too nosy about what it is? Or doing too many readings draining all of your energy to do whatever is coming your way? I’m guessing spirit wants you to chill and relax your third eye and for some of you I heard “us too!” Your guides want a break. You have overcome a fear that had been holding you back so it’s free to do if you choose to. The path is open and ready for you to walk it, you just need to take that first step! There’s something or someone that has failed you in the past that will be coming for a second chance of they’re not there already, and your guides want you to deny deny deny that shit! Do NOT let anything or anyone from the part back into your life at this time, since this is the MercuryRx I do know exes and past lovers like to pop back up for you guys leave it alone! Just like your person I feel you about to receive some kind of recognition, it can even be from this person you’re inquiring about. I’m feeling it’s from a person other than work but then again, it can be a person from work. Whatever grey times you were or are facing cleared up or is about to clear up really soon, keep holding on the storm is almost over! ANY OPPS OF ANY KIND! Show them NO MERCY! I feel like the past is going to try and sneak back into your life and you need to say fuck that and stomp it out p3 you’re not going to let any bullshit stop your progress anymore!

Progress: Just a little but needs to be done before you guys can meet or come into union, right now I feel like you’re both tying up loose ends (this is the pile closes to meeting or union)! For some of you, I feel like this is your twin flame, for others I feel there’s a connection where you two trigger and mirror each other, but not as intensely as twin flames. Someone else is blocking them from you, I’m not sure if it’s an ex or a new person but I do feel like there’s someone in the way of your connection right now. Some of you could’ve met them already but don’t remember meeting this person. They’re going through it right now, being tested and ascending from their last position. Going through lessons and karmic cycles. Union is happening in divine timing so there’s no timing I can give you besides when the time is right. You’ll come together which I feel isn’t very long tho. You guys both need to focus on yourselves cos that’ll usher in union, you both learning how to value yourselves knowing you both deserve a union as great as this one, this connection seems to be the most spiritual. They’re dreaming about you vividly but they can’t remember it’s cos they’re going through so much, and I feel like the divine feminine (regardless of gender identity) was the woman or the energy I was talking about earlier, along with most of your person of interest especially twin flames. You astral travel to them and they can’t remember and I don’t think you can either, you will when you meet and you’ll meet in due time, just focus on yourselves.

Them:

WELL THATS THAT! It felt good to be back doing readings it feels right and to the ones that motivated me to do it, it’s for y’all!! Enjoy! I hope it resonated and it brightened your day and gave you some clarity! Here’s to new ass energy!

[jamimix]

Ain't this just a Dream? (Part 8)

SAGAU x Creator! Reader Apologies for the lateness. I was busy procrastinating on this that I managed to graduate college ehe And also, I’m removing the taglist for now. Sorry. I just find myself obsessing over fixing it too much ;v;

Last Chapter

“Your actions are quite admirable.”

The imposter didn’t flinch despite the wind managing to cut a scratch on to their face, yet they frowned, showing their annoyance. Bright red blood dripped from it, making the corners of Kazuha’s lips twitch into a smirk.

“How foolish. Let me share you a secret before we part.” Their eyes lit up green and Kazuha could only watch as the red blood spilling from their face turned to gold starting from the wound. They suddenly twist the blade inside of him, bringing him closer, making him cough out blood, unable to keep it in, and then whispering into his ear.  “I may not be the real one, but you will never have your proof.”

He couldn’t see it, but his vision’s glow faded, even as he’s still barely alive. And with it, the control he has over the element, left with the wind. He feels the sword burning in him, but it’s wasn't a painful one, much to his hazy confusion.

He hears your call of his name, making him feel a slight guilt that he couldn’t stop you from seeing him like this. Once the blade finally slides out from him, he finds himself falling backwards into yours and his friend’s waiting arms.

Despite his darkening vision, he sees a genuine smile, so similar to yours, flash on the imposter’s face, while a silent voice rang in his head. For all that what was copied, it didn't sound like you. And though it happened for only a moment, he felt relieved.

‘Thank you for taking care of them, Kazuha.’

He felt so relieved knowing that you’d be safe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You weren’t sure what you were expecting when the wind quelled, exposing you to the horrible scene. But nonetheless, it woke you up.

Kazuha’s blood gushed down the blade that went through him, the tip of it was an inch close to you, and to the ground below. You suck in a breath, but you regretted it almost immediately. The choking stench, the smell of iron in the air. It all feels too real.

You are not dreaming.

"Kazuha!"

You watched as the blade was ripped out of his body, an amused chuckle slipping out from its owner.

This was never a dream.

You ignored the disrespect, quickly catching him into your arms, not caring about the blood that coated the two of you as his eyes started losing its light. Ignoring everything other than him, ignoring the pair of glowing green eyes that watched your every move, and ignoring the fighting that was still happening behind the scene.

You knew from the start but just didn’t want to believe it.

There's so much blood. Please don't die, Kazuha. Kazuha. Kazuha, it should've been m-

"Ah, I must've failed if you're crying because of me." When did the tears start falling?

With little strength Kazuha have, he managed to bring his hand your cheeks, weakly wiping the tears away, though he only succeeded on smudging his blood on it. You reached up, cradling his hand close to your face.

You couldn’t help but curse yourself. You’re a God, aren’t you? So why can’t you heal? How do you fix this? Why are you so useless?

"Tears never suited you, (Y/n). Smile for me."

And so you did. Wobbly as it is, you swear you tried your best. It was all so you could see him giving it back. But when his hand fell limp, so did your smile. All that was left was a shell of a body of someone you knew and cared about.

At least you weren't alone in your mourning. A faint whisper of his name echoed from beside you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ah, Traveller! What brings you here?”

Seeing Lumine wasn’t much of a surprise for Venti, but seeing the other is. Venti couldn’t help but look at the two with confusion in his eyes.

'When did this happen?' He cannot help but think with slight amusement. Their 'grace' would have never allowed such thing to happen unless...

“Where’s your grace?” Lumine spoke up, looking at him quite seriously. Her gaze is almost colder than that of their grace when they’re mad. Aether just stood beside her, a hand on her arm, making sure she wouldn’t do anything too rash yet.

“Well, shouldn’t you know? Up in the sky, on a heavenly palace made by the beings of the land.” He let out a chuckle, acting clueless, strumming his lyre in in tandem with his words.

“I’m not playing, Barbatos. Where’s the real one?”

Venti’s hands still before he another sigh left his lips. Did they lose them again?

He look at Lumine for a moment before closing his eyes and listening closely to the wind. They're loud, too loud for him to actually hear anything from, seeming to argue amongst themselves, a bit too wary of him. Only once they deemed him not a threat, did they whisper.

"A sad tale has come for us." He says with softly as he finally understood the wind's words, letting his lyre fade away with a sad note. “Let's go to Liyue Harbor.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you done?"

They spoke, boredom lacing their voice, yet their eyes show differently. They walked closer to you, stopping just near your feet. You can briefly hear Childe calling out something before a loud thud and a groan was heard.

Looking up, you find yourself staring back at someone with a face so similar to yours. The twitch of your- their lips made it obvious that they’re trying not to grin.

"Really, the audacity of you to- heh- impersonate me is outstanding."

They crouched in front of you, a smile growing on their face as they then whispered, as if not wanting to wake up the dead, bright green eyes meeting yours. Unconsciously, you held Kazuha closer towards you.

"But (Y/n), that's not true at all, is it? Oh, how I missed you."

You flinched when their hand went towards your face. You tried to move backwards, with Kazuha still in your arms, but you were stopped by the bridge's railing. They ignored your movement, continuing to put their hand on your face, wiping away the disgusting blood that the samurai got you. Abruptly, they stopped, sighing before moving their hand away.

"It seems you're not complete yet. Apologies for… hurting him. I’ll make sure to wrap him up nicely."

Opening up their palm, green faint light suddenly enveloped you and Kazuha. You tried to stop it, trying and failing to wipe it away, wishing in your mind for it to do so, asking Teyvat to do something… But nothing happened.

Helplessly, you can only watch as it slowly wrap around the both of you.

“Sleep.”

With darkening vision, you barely saw them standing up, and with a snap of their hand, Zhongli stood by their side with an unconscious Childe dragged by his hand. The former’s eyes widened as they saw blood dripping from his God. A sick sense of pride after seeing it gleam so golden.

“Your grace, you’re bleeding!”

They ignored him, keeping their eyes at you as you finally lost yourself to slumber, watched as your arms held Kazuha tighter before losing the ability to do so. They silently wondered if you’ll ever remember doing that with them.

"I will deal with them personally. As for the body... I applaud dear Kazuha for his braveness, give him a nice coffin and send him off to our Captain Beidou. "

"Understood. But what of Tartaglia?"

It was only then that the imposter’s eyes left you, looking at the boy who has been so loyal to you enough to challenge the whole world.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They were too late. Greeted by a bloody scene and a half-broken bridge, worry grew more rampant in their hearts. There's a puddle of blood on the bridge entrance. They were thankful that it’s not gold, but still...

“I’ll go find Morax to get some answers. Try not to be too suspicious while I’m out.” Venti left, not waiting for any response, knowing he didn’t have to.

Seeing his sister’s shaking hands, Aether brought his to hold on to Lumine’s, trying to provide a bit of comfort. 

“Traveller? We are glad to see you back.” A guard spoke up with a small smile after seeing her.

“What happened here?” The guard frowned, pity and disgust swirling within their eyes as they eye the mess.

“An imposter was caught wandering around the harbour. A fatui and a wanderer tried to help them escape. One got caught with the imposter while the other died.”

Lumine’s breath hitched. Died? Someone died? Surely, surely, it isn't-

“Who… who died?”

“The one hailed from Inazuma. Kazuha, I think his name is. I heard from the others that our grace is kind enough to send him away in a nice coffin. Something about being impressed by his braveness…” The guard trailed off after seeing the dark look that enveloped the other’s face. It was only when someone put a hand on the Traveller’s shoulder that he realized that they aren’t alone, shocked to see the similar face.

“Is this…?”

“Where did they take them?”

The two pairs of seemingly glowing golden eyes made him spill everything. Such lucky fellow, he woke up not remembering a single thing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teyvat is… sentient in a way. It could not talk nor directly interact with its inhabitants, it cares for them all deeply. It could only show its care by little ways. The changes in weather, the growth of life from its dirt, and the calmness of the seas for the travellers.

But it wasn’t always like this. It was only because of your absence that they gained such thing. All the power that you had, has to go somewhere, does it not?

When you came back abruptly, a tiny bit of your power leaked out, a forest was quick to sprout and monsters, as some of its inhabitants has called them, appeared out of nowhere. Teyvat was quick to react, stopping the overflow, tried so hard not to let all your power rush into you, not wanting you to get hurt. And though you are its creator, it could not help but care for you as a mother to a child.

So when you were travelling around its lands and sea, it was slowly giving you back every bit of power you used to have. Even if one day, Teyvat can never be there for you again.

Sadly, it was cut off when you asked to go to the Abyss.

[goldfish-afterhours]

Genshin Characters During Finals Season (College AU)

Characters: Zhongli, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Albedo, Bennett, Childe, Kaeya

Type/Genre: Bulleted headcanons, comedy

Warnings: Foul language, slightly suggestive humour/for comedic purposes

Zhongli

Calm and collected at first

As the days go by, Zhongli would start looking more and more like a tired dad

Walks around slightly frowning, bags under his eyes from all nighters, and clutching a mug of coffee so hard that people are afraid it’s gonna break, but even more afraid to tell him to be careful

Has heat compresses on the back of his neck and forehead to ease the headaches from the lack of sleep

Probably told Childe to shut the fuck up and mind your own business when he warned him about his cup

“Childe, if I do not kill this final I will kill you in its stead. Leave me be.”

Thoma

Probably part of one of those student care organizations that makes care packages for other students

His smile when he hands out the packages is so bright and healing it could bring back the dead

Always motivating his peers and tries to keep everyone’s spirits up

Offers to get everyone in the study group coffee

He’s not the best at school but he has a lot of friends that are willing to tutor him and do his assignments help him with his work

Likes to snack while he’s studying

“No giving up yet! Let’s take a snack break, you’ll think better with something in your belly.”

Venti

Chills at a coffee shop with a big friend group to “study”

They do jack shit

Probably spends more time staring at the drink menu than his exam notes

Grade A procrastinator, does all his homework the night before it’s due and studies for exams the morning of

Due tomorrow do tomorrow amiright

Always seems to do okay tho?? People wanna scold him for his bad study habits but he actually does okay in school so they can’t really say anything

Doesn’t study hard but parties 100x harder

“Come on, live a little! If your exam is at 2pm, you can just start studying at 9 tomorrow morning and you’ll be fine.”

Xiao

Pulls all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after-

No one can ever find him during the day on campus or in his dorm—it’s like he despawned and just does not exist

Only time he is spotted by others is always at 3am in the morning like a cryptid and he looks like a zombie

He’s actually working a part time job along with going to classes and helping others with their work. An angry looking good boy.

Studies in the lecture halls by himself, blasting music as loud as he can on his headphones to keep himself awake

Mf going to go deaf is2g lower ur volume boi

“…hey. I’m getting a coffee, do you want one?”

Albedo

Plans his time meticulously. Has an extremely organized planner where he writes out exactly what he’s going to do at every hour of the day so he can maximize his week

Includes mealtimes, breaks, and poop times relaxation periods

Usually studies in his room, but for some reason people keep barging in on him to ask for study help so he has to find different hiding places to work in peace

So far, the best place has been the graduate students lounge. No he does not belong there, but no one questions him because it looks like he does

“If you really need my help, I have twenty seven and a half minutes between lunch and my bathroom break this Thursday. Come find me then.”

(Rejected quote: “What’s my masters in? No no, the only thing I’m a master of is your mom.”)

Bennett

The type of person to have the “please don’t talk to me I have work to do and if you talk to me I won’t stop” sign on his back while working in the library

Fell asleep while completing an assignment

Missed the midnight deadline for said assignment

Slept through the exam the next morning

At this point just let him sleep at least he won’t have to deal with it then

“That was a good nap…now I got the energy for my assignment and the exam!”

Childe

Would be a good student if he wasn’t bothering other people so often

Probably bakes when he’s stressed. His roommates are always awoken at 4 in the morning to the sound of the oven beeping and the heavenly smell of freshly baked cookies

Has a friendly rivalry with Zhongli. He always asks when Zhongli will be turning in an assignment, and what mark he’s aiming for for the final exam

Turns in the final paper at least a week before it’s due and aims for ten percent higher than Zhongli on the exam

If he needs bonus marks to reach that then so be it

Otherwise slacks off a bit

He’d be a really good student if he wasn’t so competitive with Zhongli all the time

“You good, Zhongles? You trying to squeeze a better grade out of that mug?”

Kaeya

This man probably used red bull as the liquid for his instant coffee

An absolute menace and loves messing with people

Tells them that the exam is on a whole other different thing than what they were studying for, or that the due date of a big assignment was changed

Nobody goes to him for help

If you do genuinely need help with a concept, though, he’s more than willing to help

Just make sure to provide adequate compensation for him ;)

By compensation I mean more red bull this man has drank 3 cans in ten minutes please stop him

“What? If they do shit, that only helps with our bellcurve, right? Their fault for trusting me anyways~”

[eighth-house-tarot]

How can you help support the world?

🐾🐛🌱🍄🪴 pick a card 🪴🍄🌱🐛🐾

how to pick (link)

pile 1 🐄 | pile 2 👁 | pile 3 ✨

deck used: tarot of the divine

Pile 1 🐄:

reversed 7 pentacles, the chariot, queen of wands 🃏

In the artwork of the rev. 7 of pentacles card, the fire is upside down. I see this as you feeling very frustrated, and your passion inside you having difficultly being expressed or shared. This frustration can be (imo the most likely reason) because you’re working so hard with no or little reward or feedback, working so hard you aren’t allowing yourself to appreciate your efforts, something else is taking your time, or you’re frustrated with yourself for procrastinating. Listen, you’ve got something pure and good inside you - you’re learning how to bring it into life in the most constructive and wholesome way. The process can be frustrating and that’s okay. Exhale. And if you feel sad because you’re so tired and jaded it feels like that fire in you is going out - it’s not, your light is always there.

The art of the Chariot card reminds me of the Lao Tzu quote (note: new translations have come out, and I’m not sure if this is still the wording)

Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.

I also think of how all raindrops lead to the ocean. Every little effort you’re doing now naturally leads to the Big Thing you’re working towards or for. Also, I see the salmon as your inner passion’s fire. It “swims” with ease through your new method of effort, and is extremely powerful when you need to call upon it (it can swim and jump upstream after all! to continue the metaphor).

Of course, be aware of “bears” along this river fattening up for winter - share your passion with the necessary people who will earnestly help you / your partners in this action, others only after they’ve shown their actions to be trustworthy, and the public once you’ve made good progress already and your passion has grown so much that there’s a lot of “salmon” in your river! That way, haters, copycats, grifters, and saboteurs can’t effectively touch you or stop you. Protect your idea and energy.

The third card is the Hawaiian goddess Pele or Pelehonuamea representing the Queen of Wands. First off, Blessed Be. 🙏❤️‍🔥🌋

Seeing the goddess of lava and creation of new land, I think of your passion’s fire and the waters of your efforts becoming lava. “Fluid”, molten, “fire” rock! Not only have your efforts and passion become a truly unstoppable force, they are constructive and are creating something real. Something as real and solid and enduring as new land! That’s awesome and amazing! Go you!!

This could be your Big Thing, a new method you’ve created, or a new system. Whatever it is, like land, new growth with come from this. New things and goals will come from This Thing. I think more than you can imagine right now. But please don’t get overwhelmed by that thought, I believe it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. I mean, look how much beauty has come from Pele’s lava. I don’t know if she expected the amazing lush life would grow through her! I believe she followed her natural drive, and the blessings naturally came with it. It also makes me think you should welcome the (legitimately good / effective / constructive) contributions of others.

As you are reaching this point of this card’s meaning, and when you are in it, I believe you should also carry with you the concept of the “orgasmic Yes” from Audre Lorde’s essay “The Uses of the Erotic ~ The Erotic as Power” (to read in full, click this link) - please read or listen to this essay is full. Basically though, what it is that makes you say “Yes!”, fully embodied, completely? No holds barred, totally of You, your desires and true values (not the values forced on you / what you “should” believe)? When you say “Yes!”, does your body feel settled, relaxed, at ease? Always, always follow that.

Last things of note, be mindful not to burn yourself out again, and be mindful of your temper. Let your righteous protective anger destroy or stop what must be destroyed or stopped, but don’t go so far as to hurt what shouldn’t have been hurt. Trust me, people - at this stage - know you can’t be fucked with and that no one can fuck with you. While lava builds, it destroys too. And no one can stop lava - only water can (but fresh lava is still dangerous even in water). Certainly, people can’t stop it, they are at its mercy. Use the waters that brought you here to help cool or redirect your temper when you need to. Also, whatever people are destroying of your “island”, you can stop and build back up.

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog

Pile 2 👁

reversed 10 of swords, reversed Hanged Man, reversed Fool🃏

The first card is the Inuit goddess Sedna, represented in the reversed 10 of swords. Blessed Be. 🙏🦭🧊

I see that you have experienced a deep horrible betrayal, one so cruel you couldn’t have ever thought this was something someone would ever do to another. In case it needs to be said, it’s okay to have never imagined or thought this cruelty was possible. The fault is solely with the one who harmed you. I believe this person was above you - like a boss, mentor, or a more experienced peer. For many reading this, they saw what you are capable of and their ego felt threatened by the thought of losing their position in the power dynamic. They were never doing their work with sincere humility in the first place. If they weren’t someone above you, they were a peer who saw what you would achieve, and felt threatened that they wouldn’t get it first and be able to hold above others. Even if you weren’t acting fairly, or were immature, what happened to you was entirely out of proportion to a reasonable response. Don’t waste your time attempting to rationalize their actions.

In the artwork of the reversed 10 of swords, the imagery tells a gruesome, cruel story. The stories of the goddess Sedna have many different situations that lead to the choice her father makes of complete brutality and betrayal. In some stories, Sedna frustrates others in ways that could be reasonable to be frustrated with - in many, she frustrates others when she is being her authentic self. No matter the reason her father could give for his actions, she was a victim. It doesn’t matter if she was a perfectly “good” person either. Nothing can justify her father reacting to her asking for help, and clinging to the kayak for dear life, slicing her fingers off. Because this card is reversed, I take this as the aftermath. To generalize the aftermath of Sedna’s story, after sinking to the depths of the sea, she doesn’t die. She becomes the Goddess of the Sea. Her fingers become seals, walruses, whales, and fish. Her love, her goodwill, her spirit never left her — for she releases the animals for the hunters who show her love, respect, and kindness in return (when hunters do not give her this, she doesn’t allow the animals to be found). Even though when she is in pain, she is known to be fearsome — she is known for her benevolence most of all. I share this story of the goddess Sedna because you have been treated so cruelly. She and her story show you your pain is real, what happened was not okay, your kind heart is always with you, loving relationships will come again, and that you have ever right to demand respect and enforce your boundaries. It’s is good to be your powerful self, to say no, to refuse to help people who do things for their own gain alone.

In your aftermath (and how I see the reversed Hanged Man), you’ve taken yourself out of this work or group or field. You do feel good that you are giving yourself time to heal. Take as much time as you need to give yourself peace. This could be months, a year, or years. No matter what, go at your own pace. During this time, seek professional help or a support group. Create your own safe space. There will come a day when your passion, your gusto, will return. As per this deck’s artwork of the Hanged Man, Sleeping Beauty, you may feel like you’ve “woken up”.

In the artwork of the reversed Fool, we see the Little Mermaid. I believe this card and it’s message is connected is connected to Sedna, as her Goddess form resembles a mermaid. Now that you have a network of support, and some healing, you are ready to get back out there, go after what you want. You may still feel raw, tender, and upset at times, and Sedna teaches us that that’s okay. To need the help of others is okay (for example, sometimes Shaman’s go to get to help comb her hair when it gets tangled and comfort her when she needs support). The world is wide and there are good people in it. They have the same love you have, the same passion for the cause you care about. Seek them out as you grow in this area. Sincerity seeks sincerity.

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog

pile 3 ✨

reversed 9 of swords (Oedipus), 4 of cups (the Nightingale by Hans Christian Anderson) (<- link), and 7 of wands (John Henry, American folk hero) 🃏

You are almost constantly doing 1 of 2 things: doom scrolling, or absorbing yourself into hyper stimulating media (ex: video / mobile games, ASMR videos, constantly listening to something as you watch something as you do something). I get the feeling you are afraid of, or deeply bothered or frustrated, by silence, stillness, and boredom. 

Do you feel like it’s your responsibility to constantly see and learn of all of the horrors happening, but then get so overwhelmed by them and your emotions that you dive deep into your comfort areas of the internet, and stay there until you fall asleep? And then doom scroll again because you feel guilty for over indulging in unimportant things - and also you just can’t look away? If yes, relatable tbh lol.

The thing about fear though, is when we let it consume us, it often times becomes true - and if they do become true, even worse, we spent so much time being scared that we never prepared ourselves to be able to handle it!

Do you have a habit of sometimes thinking “it’s just the way it is”, “it’s just the way things are”, “things have always been this way”? Or do others day this to you? 

First of all, that’s not true. The only constant is change itself! Secondly, people only say this in defeat of harmful actions. No one, including you, should ever accept abusive actions and circumstances. Thirdly, this way of thinking is taught. 

(/g) Does this line of thinking feel true to your heart?

You crave real connection and the real natural world (this might offend you or be too much of a read - but you basically have an unconscious longing to touch grass). You may be ignoring this craving due to the belief you can't have it, because these connections and opportunities either literally are, or simply feel, unavailable to you. But I feel that you have some level of addiction to the over stimulation of any media, being constantly plugged in. If you’re chronically online to not just distract yourself, but because it’s also your job (like you're a twitch streamer making good money), or how you are organizing community, you still feel like there's something missing in your life. 

Whatever it means to you, that Real Thing that's been missing, that you long for, will find you. Don't dismiss it as “nothing” when you realize it’s there. It is, or will be, in plain sight - right in front of your nose. You just need to look up, and see the forest for the trees (how does that saying go? lol). You’ll know what it is. 

This will be a pivotal moment for you. No matter how this situation applies to you, know that this moment will be so simple or normal, and it's ordinariness will arrest you. It will shock you, in a good way. You'll be eternally grateful for this thing that is so simple, yet existentially amazing. 

You will receive that a-ha moment. You will feel so connected to life and existence (even if for a brief moment).

You will also see how this Thing has been commodified by powerful people, instead of freely existing and sharing its gifts among everyone (as it was meant to be). You may have a small desire to commodify this Thing yourself - don’t do that <3

(this is part of my connection I’m making this reading to the Nightingale fairytale)

You’ll bring something into the tech industry that’s missing. With kindness and humility, you'll bring in and encourage people who have the same caring goals as you. You want to show how humanity can come and work together in a dignified and fair and joyous way, and you absolutely can. 

I got a strong feeling from the cards that this was about you working on artificial intelligence. Like keeping its use in check, creating laws to keep people who create and program AI - and the people who use it - accountable to their actions. You could be creating and coding AI to be able to do more wholesome / not harmful things. You could be working to emphasis the "human touch”, and making it clear when something is made by humans vs AI (with a higher value ascribed to what was made by humans). Your work will not demonize this new tool / tech itself, but you’ll focus on fighting against what ill-willed people intend to use it with. And you’ll do your best to make sure these ill-willed plans and intentions are known through out the general public. Your focuses will be on solidarity, humanity as a whole community, and our quality of life. 

ADVICE

It’s important to stay informed and open to learning, your heart is in the right place. Learning is a constantly moving cycle of receiving information, processing it, resting, reflecting and analyzing, and then asking new questions. Exhale, and know that giving yourself a pause from this subject is actually helping you understand it. Our brains are so amazing!

I think what would help you is giving yourself patience as you transition through each stage of learning. Instead of jumping from info-binging (is that a phrase?) to another activity, you could stop all media for 3-10 seconds, inhale and exhale, and then decide what to do next (and do that each time you do something new). Baby steps will still help you <3

Meet what you fear with love. Love makes us brave, gives us courage, and supports us as we do great things. 

And on the subject of great things, I’m going to give advice that I frankly need to hear too. Don’t get caught up in achieving greatness, because that tends to stop you (it’s often rooted in perfectionism). Focus on the actions that serve people who need great help. Focus on developing great relationships with people who need help, or who want to help. The results of your actions and relationships will be what will bring this great, needed change.

When our egos want to be known for achieving greatness, it’s because we need to be seen, validated, remembered, and loved. Know that you exist because you belong, you are loved, you are seen, you are remembered, and there are so many people you haven’t met yet who love you.

And as a final piece of advice, we are strongest when we work together. When you seek to help others, you need to also allow others to help you. A victory is a team effort.

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog

[heartofwritiing]

and you just can’t say goodbye.

paring: (zombur) William Godwinson x fem!reader

summary: Wil gets bitten, and angst ensues.

authors note: HUGE thanks to @ax-y10 for the help because originally this fic was gonna end a lot more agnsty but then they gave me an idea that was more on the happy side! I've never written a zombie apocalypse setting before so please excuse anything I get wrong. I've only watched other people play The Last of Us and I've briefly seen one episode of The Walking Dead so you can see how this will probably go. lol. The Sorry Boys zombie video is brain-rotting in my head rn I've watched it about four times now. yes. I love Zombur, so here's a drive-by of me throwing this fic at you and then skirting off with smoke from my tires. enjoy the brainrot :p (I'm so sorry this took me so long to get out, I've been procrastinating finishing it because I'm having some self-doubt at the minute but I hope you guys like this anyway even though it's a mess lol)

warnings: zombie apocalypse au, angst, death, violence, swearing, lots of kissing, characters use guns, the writer doesn't know anything about how guns work lmao, sort of happy end? super unedited!

"shit! I'm out of ammo!"

You pulled the trigger on the handgun once more, but nothing. It was luck that you had even found one. Even so early on in an apocalypse. A month had gone by since the first day of the outbreak. Though it was likely that you should've died on the first day, you don't know why you've survived this long. you should be dead.

At first, you thought staying in your apartment was the best chance you had of surviving. Big mistake. That strategy turned south when your front door was barged in after four days of no disturbance from any outsiders. Your boyfriend Wil had grabbed everything you could carry, and you hadn't stopped moving ever since.

Now, you and Wil found yourselves trapped in an alley with no escape. A pack of infected had cornered you, slowly closing in while making menacing noises. Wil bravely stood between you and the horde, fighting them off to protect you.

"Climb up the fire escape!" he shouted back at you.

You looked around until you spotted a ladder conveniently placed on the side of the building within reach. Infected were dropping like flies as Wil's shots echoed through the air. The ladder shook as you climbed, heart pounding in your ears. You glimpsed down to check and see if Wil was following, to find he was surrounded on all sides by infected. Your heart dropped when you saw one of their mouths was too close to his wrist. By the time you called out his name, it was already too late.

'Fuck!' Wil screamed as the infected bit through his skin and charred his flesh. Blood gushed down his arm and around the infected's mouth. You cry his name as he reeled back his fist and punched the infected repeatedly until it staggered off of him, but it was too late. Your eyes were fixed on him as he quickly climbed up the ladder, gasping for breath as he did so. He seemed in immense pain as he pulled his body up the ladder, slightly struggling.

Upon reaching the roof, you found a roof access leading to a floor with multiple doors, revealing it to be an apartment complex. Wil was already feeling the effects of the infection. His skin was sticky with sweat, the bitter taste left in his mouth tasting the blood rising in his throat, and the sudden vertigo he got just by rushing down the stairs was enough to make him nauseous.

You came to the floor with all the apartment units and quickly kicked in the door of the closest one. It took a few attempts to kick the door, and then bam! The sound of splitting wood and the door bouncing off the wall made a delirious Wil jump.

You entered the small room, helping Wil through the doorway, and setting him down gently before closing the door. You searched around for something to barricade the door with. Just in case of any infected find you. The only thing that looked heavy enough was the dresser tucked into the corner. Using all your muscles, you pushed the object across the room with the bottom of the dresser scraping against the wood, grimacing at the loud noise.

Letting out a sigh of relief, you knew you were safe for now. You dusted your hands off and turned back to Wil who was slumped against the wall on the floor, clutching his bitten arm. Wincing and squirming from the heat burning through his skin spreading throughout his veins.

The room was dim, and you noticed the sweat beading down his forehead. You quickly took your backpack off your shoulders and strode over to him. Taking out the first-aid kit you had for emergencies, you pulled out the tiny bottle of anti-septic cleaning solution and the roll of bandages.

You gazed down at his wrist, which was curled against his chest, shrouding you from looking at it. The ring of teeth marks oozing out the color of maroon as black vines protruded around the area, extending over his skin. His head lulled to the side as he let out a moan of pain.

"No, baby, keep your eyes open," you tried to lure him back to consciousness. Take his hand and position it palm up in your lap. He whines like a wounded animal in response.

Unscrewing the cap, you quickly prep the cotton pads. Then you quickly realize you should've put on gloves beforehand. Muttering curses under your breath you shake your head at the thought, There was no time.

"What are you doing?" Wil's voice slurs. He sounds groggy, like something is trying to creep up his throat to escape, not him. It scares you. You refuse to look at him.

"I have to clean the wound before it gets infected," you say nonchalantly.

With the little strength he has left, Will reaches out his unbitten hand to catch yours. You stop your movements in disbelief of his actions, tears brimming in your eyes as you try to save his life, but he stops you again. You both know what's inevitable, you just can't accept it.

"Wil-" you try to pull out of his grasp. You reach out to touch his wrist again this time, he is the one who pulls away.

"Look at me," he pleads. You can't bring yourself to shift your eyes to his, knowing this was inevitable. You had to try. He had to let you try.

"just stop."

Wil tries to grab the items from your hands, but you move too quickly for his shrinking reflexes to keep up. Moving beginning to be too strenuous.

"I can't- Wil-" You struggle to fight against him, too scared to hurt him. Though he's already dying.

"Stop, honey..." he quivers.

"Just let me save you!" you cry. It echoes through the room. The air is tense, and you finally meet his eyes. His skin is sickly pale, eyes bright with red veins and glossy. Purple hues outline under his soft doe eyes as they peer into yours. He fists the hem of your shirt, inviting you closer. Your breaths mix together as he presses his forehead to yours.

The words hang between you, but you bite your tongue. You want to tell him how much you want him to stay and not give up. Deep down, you already know it's not enough.

"It's too late for me darling, leave me here.”

“I'm not leaving you,” you say sternly, shaking your head.

You were determined to stay with him, no matter how difficult things got, you were unwilling to abandon him.

“Please, I don’t want you to see me turn into a monster.” his voice wavered. Your heart sank. No matter what, he would always be your Wil. Sweet, caring, and lovable Wil. Whom you adored with every fiber of your being.

You reach up to cup his face with your hands, but they feel cool against your clammy skin. His cheekbones are slowly becoming more prominent. You stare into his eyes, but the urge to tell him to be quiet becomes harder as anger festers in your chest. However, it's not anger towards him, but rather frustration towards the universe.

Instead, you snuggle up next to him to demonstrate your lack of fear and your trust in him. You want to be by his side and provide comfort. You understand that it's unrealistic to expect him to recover from this infection given his history of being sick and having a weakened immune system. It's best to accept the inevitable outcome.

It's unclear how much time has passed while the two of you remain in that position. His arm securely around your shoulder holding you close, with your arm laid across his lap where your fingers provided soft circles against his hip bone. The room grows darker as the sun sets. The air feels eerie yet comforting all at once with Wil by your side. Nothing but the sounds of his raspy breathing and occasional coughing fit to surround you. He whispers through the dark against the crown of your head with horse words. Sweet nothings, promises that make you curl into him further so he can't see the single tear you shed.

He lifts his hand to gently cup your cheek, tilting your head to meet his gaze. Selfishly, he leans in for a soft kiss. You whine at the metallic taste in his mouth when he groans to part his lips so his tongue finds yours. It makes your head spin like a top how this man makes you feel. His lips are chapped, rough, and fast as he indulges in you for maybe the last time. You gasp and reach up to tangle your fingers in his locks to reel him closer to you. His hand finds the underside of your thigh, digging into your flesh. The mere touch of his hand sets your body ablaze and sends shivers down your spine.

It's frantic and passionate, your love for him shown physically. When you disconnect, suddenly remember you need to breathe. his eyes are hazy and his pupils are blown. You are sure you look like a flustered mess.

"I love you," he says sincerely, and you believe him.

It stings in your chest, you can't stand it.

"I love you more," you reply.

You tuck yourself into his neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and outdoors, and it's calming. Wil rests his head on the crown of your head. You neglect how his breathing has slowed as you drift off to sleep.

-

The next time you open your eyes, the sun peeks through the window, casting a golden glow over the bedroom. Your bones crack when you sit up to stretch from sleeping in the same position all night. You knew you'd regret it later when you had back pain for days. You turn to Wil, who doesn't stir when you move. Your heart dropped when you noticed something different about him.

Around his eyes were a darker color than the previous night. His cheekbones were completely sunken in where you could almost see the bone. his lips were a blueish color and his chest was rising and falling.

This was your fault. You should have stayed awake.

Tears streamed down your face as you called out his name, gently shaking his body, but he didn't respond.

"Wil!" you wailed, begging for him to come back.

You slumped forward, cradling him against your chest, pressing kisses to his temple, and muttering apologies against his cold skin. You felt your heart break as you realized he was gone, and tears rolled down your face as you held him close to you. You felt a deep emptiness settle in your heart. You knew you would never fill the void his death had left. You sobbed, gripping him tighter, and whispered your final goodbye. You held him close, cherishing holding home one last time. Knowing that you would never be the same again.

You're too distraught to move. You don't want to leave him here, but you don't have any other choice. The urge to keep on and survive was slowly fading now that you had no one left in this cruel world.

Wil felt heavy in your arms to the point where your arms were falling asleep, but you refused to let go. If you were to leave now, you may be tempted to never return to the person you once were. Allow your sorrow to consume you. The one good thing left in your life was gone.

You suddenly felt hands grab your lower back, causing you to yelp in surprise. Fingers gripe harshly at your skin through your clothes. Wil's chilled breath glides up your spine as he lets out a deep groan against your collarbone. He was alive? How?

His lips ghosted across your collarbone, pressing his nose directly into your pulse point. His hot breath fans across your exposed skin, causing goosebumps to rise along your body. Then, you feel his teeth nipping at your skin, and your eyes widen realizing his intentions.

You jerk away and shove him off you roughly. Crawling backward, quickly shuffling away from him, your heart pounding, until your back hits the opposite wall with a thump. You wince in pain from the impact and notice Wil gradually beginning to crawl toward you. A fixed gaze over his sheer white eyes, almost glowing like moonbeams. Chills ran down your spine as you gazed at your former lover, unrecognizable.

You froze as he approached, shrinking in on yourself. His body lazily dragged itself across the wooden floor, scrapping and groaning with every floorboard. Once he was close enough, his hand unexpectedly reached to grasp your ankle, and you screamed in fear. Nails harshly dig into your skin and create recent moon shapes that make you cry out.

He yanked you with a surprising strength until you were laid beneath him, overbearing you. You are powerless as Wil, or not Wil's body leaned over you and cadged you with his arms. Tears flow from the corners of your eyes and into your ears as his face inches towards you.

"Please," you whisper. Again, he tilts his head in curiosity at you.

"William?" Your eyes bore into his, trying to find some trace of life left in them. You observe his eyes returning to their natural color and a look of terror crossing his face as he regains consciousness. He staggers back and moves away from you frantically, clutching his chest and struggling to breathe.

You both sit on opposite sides of the room against the wall, he stares into the floor burning holes into the wood, avoiding your eyes. You just blink blankly at him in shock, knees tucked against your chest again.

Wil cradled his skull, clutching fist fulls of his hair, squeezing his eyes shut, and heaving breaths of panic puffed out his mouth. Mumbles of "I'm sorry," repeated like a mantra over, and over out shakily.

You let out an unsteady breath, His eyes quickly flicked over to you and fear flooded your senses once again.

"Darling?" he tries, his voice hoarse. He moves towards the center of the room, positioning himself a safe distance from you. “I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me..." his voice trails off.

He noticed your tense reaction upon watching him inch closer to you, and it broke his heart to see you trembling in fear due to his prior actions. He could never forgive himself for causing you such distress.

"is it really you?" you asked.

"I don't know," he says honestly. "I don't feel like myself, It's like I'm trying to grab hold of a stearing wheel and fight for control right now."

Your heart sank at his words. You let them maul over in your head for a moment. It sounded like your Wil, but you hesitated in reaching out to him. So, was he alive? He didn't look it, his skin was still deathly pale and almost decayed. Nose now dripping with dried blood that ran down his lips.

His head hangs low as he silently sobs. He didn’t want this. Now he was dead and was leaving you to defend yourself. He swore he would always protect you and he’s failed. He knows its selfish to ask you to stay with him, you should just leave him here to rot. Still, he begs you.

“Please, darling dont leave me,” You shake your head and crawl towards him. He might be an undead zombie now, but you still loved him more than anything else is this life. You would do anything for him. You take his face in your hands to tilt his head up but he avoids your eyes. “look at me,” his eyes shift to yours.

“I wanna help you baby, and im sure as hell not gonna leave you, not now, not ever.” you proclaim. “So don’t you dare ever try and push me away, because im staying. No matter how complicated things get.”

You bring yourself to kiss his forehead, your warm lips making him sigh out from the touch. He holds you for what feels like hours. Eventually you both know you’ll have to leave this abandoned apartment, whether you run out of food or more zombies show up. move on, then figure things out. Whatever it takes you would stay together, no matter what.

taglist: @trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @scenefaez @starsyoubreaklikesugardust @drop-of-void

[clyches]

THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE

a clyches original.

“every dead-end street led you straight to me.”

sypnosis. you, being the president of the hopeless romantic club (and possibly the only member) of tokyo university, you are an absolute dork for love & adore seeing it in the air. on the other end of the spectrum, kenma has completely given up in love, due to all his failed attempts, and just can’t believe that true love could even exist. when two absolute opposite dispositions suddenly collide, the universe just can't help but to make a bittersweet mess!

content / warnings. fem!reader. modern college au. may contain swearing, however limited. slightly suggestive. fluff. a little angst. timestamps don’t really matter unless stated otherwise.

pairings. kenma x reader (main pair), kiyoomi x reader, kuroo x reader

status. on-going; spontaneous updates (06/25/23)

HEART IS DRAWN AROUND YOUR NAME !

ᥫ᭡ the girls (+ y/n) —୨♡୧— piss 4

HOW FOREVER FEELS LIKE !

ACT 1 — THE LOVER CHAPTER.

(𖤐) — written chapters!

i. [ dorks and freaks ]

ii. [ just so cliché! ]

iii. [ he’s lowkey... ]

iv. [ problems, problems ]

v. [ as friends? ]

vi. [ tgif! ]

vii. [ big babies ] (𖤐)

viii. [ help! ]

ix. [ sent a dm ]

x.

xi + xii + xiii + xiv + xv..

ACT 2 — THE MORE LOVER CHAPTER.

i.

ii.

iii.

iv + v + vi + vii + viii + ix + x...

notes. i’ve finally decided to stop procrastinating and start on my first ever smau! and i’m seriously so excited (though, i’ll still procrastinate, of course). i also want to remind everyone that i am not an ios user, hence why my updates will probably take long since i want my chapters to look aesthetically pleasing. besides that, i want to take the time to thank @idlerin / @empathum for being the my number #1 inspiration + the best teacher + my first ever follower! (you're the best)

taglist. OPEN ! — dm or send an ask to be added :D

a gentle reminder that everything is purely fictional and a figment of the author’s imagination. if anything reflects in real life, it is purely coincidental. please do not repost, translate, or copy on any other platform.

© clyches

[junhyukiscute]

ENEMIES-TO-LOVERS with Jungwon

SUMMARY. you start ignoring jungwon and he doesn’t like it.

it’s a well known fact that jungwon and you didn’t get along. whenever you tried discussing in class, he’d refute your claims with better statements. whenever he was talking to students and staff, you’d call him out on his artificial behavior. however with your grades not being the best, you stopped taking time out of your day fighting with jungwon to better them. eventually and unknowingly, you just stopped acknowledging the boy in general. it went on for a good period until he was standing at your library table.

“(y/n), let’s talk,” jungwon said.

“sorry, kind of busy right now,” you said, tilted your head towards the stack of projects you’ve been procrastinating on while trying to beat your high score on subway surfers.

“too busy to spare a few minutes for me?” he scoffs. “you’re not even doing real work.”

you place your phone down and raise a brow at him. “what’s your problem?”

“my problem?” he asks, almost in disbelief. “what’s your problem, (l/n)? you suddenly stop with your remarks, and start ignoring me altogether. it’s like I never even existed to you and no matter what I've tried doing, I get no response. did I do something to make you mad? tell me, because I can’t stand this,” he angrily replies.

you blinked, taken aback by the rapid fire. “you came.. to talk about me not talking.. to you?”

“oh good, your brain still works.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t treat others the same way you do with me,” you shake your head, “that president persona doesn’t really sui-”

“it’s because you’re not like the others, (y/n)!” he snaps, “how can I when they’re not the one I like?!”

“wait, you li-”

“yes, I like you, (y/n). I like you so much that i wanted to do anything to get you to continue talking to me, even if it meant having to start a fight. I like you so much to the point that even a crude comment from you would make my day and it felt like hell when you started ignoring me. I don’t know why I still like you so much when you don’t give me the time of day anymore!”

you watched as he regained his breath, huffing out of anger and his tears glossed over with frustration. tired from his outburst, he pulled out the chair and sat across from you and leaned his head back. “I can’t do this anymore. just.. tell me what I did wrong, please, (y/n). don’t make me a stranger.”

you pursed your lips in thought. was it really that bad? tentatively, you place your hand on top of jungwon’s. “I'm sorry, jungwon. I just wanted to get my grades up before I focus on anything else. i didn’t realize that it would take so long, nor would it result in ignoring you, which I had no intention of.”

“I could’ve helped you,” he mumbles.

“not with that mean attitude you’d give me,” you tease. he lets out a broken chuckle before looking at your hand on top of his clutched ones.

“I'm sorry, too. I shouldn’t have taken this approach, I should’ve been nicer to you.”

“hey, it’s all good. at least now I know that the famous president doesn’t actually hate me. he actually seems to like me a lot!” jungwon lets out a groan and places his head down on the desk. you let out a chuckle at his response and ruffle his black locks. “this side of you is really cute, it’s new.”

he raises his head up, “well, I can show you all kinds of sides to me if you wanted.”

“what are you implying, yang?”

he takes your hand off his head to intertwine them with his. bathing at how his almost cover yours completely, he looks at you earnestly. this time, his eyes shine, not with the devious mischief you’re used to, but with absolute adoration.

“give me a chance, (l/n). let me show you that im not the annoying class president, but the boy who likes you very much.”

a/n: reading this reminded me of a “what could’ve been” from my part two if jungwon had been more confrontational... unless? 🤪 an alternate reality

[linonyang]

BF!SKZ WHEN YOU ARE IN STUDY MODE [hyung line]

read maknae line version here

pairings: hyung line x gender-neutral!reader (written separately per member)

genre: fluff, very light angst, college au

warning: mentions of food and insects

word count: 1.6k words (390-400 words per member)

tag list: @awooghan​​ @hwangsify​​ @xiaoderrrr​ @cosmic-railwayxo​​​

note: i impulsively wrote this since i am on the brink of getting insane bc of this one project i have... so don’t mind me /hj i’ll probably write the second part/maknae line next week when i am done with the mentioned project lol i hope you enjoy this short hc!

© linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.

☆ CHAN

since he’s a guy who loves to stay awake all night, it’s no problem for him to join your cramming and procrastinating in projects and exams!

if not, he might be the little devil on your shoulder to stay awake with him, instead of the other way around (which was the original plan) :p 

he’ll do everything to not make your eyes close in the study hall!!!

if you’re into coffee, he’ll bring you a cup of coffee of the biggest size from your favorite cafe nearby

or if you’re feeling like eating something sweet to spike up your sugar a little bit, he might buy all of your favorite candies and desserts (including your favorite cakes and pastries) in small portions

so you can have a little bit of everything :>

chan will instantly embrace you if you’re on the brink of breaking down

you can cry on his shoulder (literally) and have him as your pillow whenever you want to give yourself short breaks after long hours of studying

and he’ll never tell this to you: he really enjoys you staying beside him when you guys do your own things

he just finds it comforting‌…

he loves how you don’t feel bothered when there’s someone beside you (him) when you usually prefer to study alone on a normal day

it’s like he’s an exception, he really loves the idea of it :* he loves to joke that you’re so down bad for him! (let’s be real, he’s not lying </3)

so you don’t have to stress out all on your own, chan’s there with you to feel less pressured and worried about your incoming exams and deadlines!

when chan notices that trouble is slowly surfacing on your face, he’ll talk to you a bit to lower your anxiety

he really doesn’t want you to feel very stressed!!!! he hates seeing any negative expression on your face!!!

he’ll feel sad too when you feel sad :((( 

being the knight in shining armor, as usual, he’s willing to bring you home whenever you feel like doing so <3

(and you can’t stop him from doing that, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without knowing that you arrived safely at your home or dormitory!)

chan will definitely send a message that you should not extend your studying at home because you did a lot already when you were with him!

☆ MINHO

minho will probably do everything to make you consider studying in his home

so you can not drown in instant food and fast food and have delicious meals cooked by him from time to time instead <33

also, his cats!!!!!!!

he’ll probably bring soonie, doongie, and dori near you so you can have some comfort whenever he’s not in the room with you, whenever he has to cook, take a shower, and all that jazz

and the three cats seem to make your day every time

it’s like minho communicated with them beforehand about how can you study healthily

when you’re sitting and reading the papers on the desk for too long, one cat will block your way and sit on the papers and books

then another will jump on your lap and ask for your love and affection (just begging you to pet them :D)

and one will constantly meow behind you, already on the bed, so you can take a good nap

when you do get to nap with all of minho’s cats on his bed, he always arrives at the wrong time, apparently

you’re asleep! but he cannot help but feel butterflies in his stomach because you look so cute napping with his beloved kitties :’>

as you instructed him before, he’ll wake you up once you reach your time limit

then he’ll join you to study once you’re back at his desk! :D

minho will definitely pet the cats beside you when you’re endlessly typing on your laptop

just so he can look after you because he does not want you to lose track of his so-called “healthy study session” for you

he’ll definitely scold you when he’ll hear your stomach growling in the middle of the night

because “how can you study with no source of energy?!?!”

he always reminds you to not overwork and don’t pass your limits

when you want to take a longer snooze (especially when it shows from your constant yawning and eye rubbing), he will not hesitate to bring all of your materials to the couch outside of his room

and drag you to his bed!!!!! so he can cuddle you all night and whisper all of his manifestations for your good results in school!!! he believes you will ace the exam, and you did so perfectly in all of your tasks!!!

☆ CHANGBIN

this guy…

oh when you ask him to accompany you to the library

he’ll drop all of his things and find you in an instant!

changbin will take your studies seriously as if he’s the one studying :p 

a strict but loving kinda person

he’ll not hesitate to scold you if he sees you sidetracking! lmao </3

but he wouldn’t do that when he knows you’re taking a break

when you feel a little disoriented or frustrated, changbin will give you energy with his powerful hugs!

“my hugs are proven to give you a better mood and more motivation to do whatever you want!!!”

“what if i don’t want to study anymore?”

“that is not included, alright?!”

(he didn’t lie about his hugs making you feel better and energetic again tho ;D there was an immediate effect right when he hugged you tightly for a solid minute)

he does serve as a distraction sometimes because he will lovingly stare at you when he’s at the peak of feeling bored

but when he is dealing with something, changbin will unintentionally bother you by making noises

in conclusion, he gives you a realistic feel of what being a student is

it makes you reassured‌… that how you’re facing academics is considerably normal?

even if changbin did promise you he’ll make sure you’re doing well, it seems like he’s the one who needs some guidance

when he’s aware that he’s not tracking you that frequently anymore, he stops what he’s doing and goes back to staring at you with heart eyes

“how are you doing?” and some good sliding of his water jug on the table to you because you can’t be dehydrated!

he steals your notebook of reminders and asks you if any of the pending deadlines and exams listed should be crossed out already

changbin will drag you out of the library when you have crossed enough pending tasks in your notebook! and take you on a scrumptious dinner date because he knows you deserve it for all the work you’ve done :>

will always pay for your dinner, even if you’re willing to pay

and will probably baby you when he discovers you finished all of your work

“aww let’s order another plate of that food we ordered! you need more good food after that exhausting study time!”

“but my stomach is full already, binnie </3”

☆ HYUNJIN

hyunjin is one worried baby when you tell him you’re in “super study mode”

you refuse to believe that your boyfriend is behaving like a mother

he will visit you and shower you with so much love

it’s like… he wants to lessen your worries :’<

he is willing to do all the chores so you can study without interruptions!!! 

he is also willing to feed you so you don’t have to get out of your seat!!!

hyunjin will always be on the go when you need something

his hugs and kisses? he will drag you to your bed and give you some!

his words of encouragement? he has prepared a long list in his head to give you more determination to finish your work!

will never get out of mom mode until you’re done

whenever you update him on your progress, he always congratulates you as if you won a life-changing award

“i am so proud of you!! :DDD” and clapping loudly

that’s because he knows how grueling studying is, and you should be congratulated for being hardworking

he loves to see you snort and laugh at his antics, even if they’re very exaggerated

and he moves and acts exaggeratingly just so you don’t have any direct source of the negative atmosphere

when he notices that you’re slowly sighing heavier than the previous one, he rushes to your side and looks after you literally

he will endlessly peck your face and stroke your hands with his thumbs

“you are doing so well! don’t say that you barely did anything today! you did so much already and i saw all of it!”

if hyunjin thinks you’ve done so much already, he’ll tell you to stop and invite you to take a walk outside with him

it’s a win-win situation because you get to relax by looking at the view of the park and hyunjin can capture beautiful photos and find inspiration for his paintings :DDD 

plus, that’s the perfect time for hyunjin to lighten up your mood

“i already washed your toilet btw, i saw a cockroach walk towards me while i was scrubbing! ugh, worst experience ever!”

“what did you do?”

“i hit it with a toilet scrubber too lightly, it was still alive so i ran out of the bathroom for a bit :’D heh”

“where the cockroach went to then?!?! i don’t want cockroaches in my home?!”

[elvisalltheway101]

Please can you write a little longer fanfiction about the reader being new at Humes high school and the teacher gives Elvis the task to show her around on the school and they develop a romance❤

—Someday, We’ll be together—

Summary: Reader just moved to Tupelo, and not so familiar with this foreign place. Elvis, volunteering, helps you know better of his home town.

Author’s note: hello, my regular customer. I swear, you gon be family to the shop soon 😭.This is, probably kinda shorter than what you meant, and if it is. Just tell me and I’ll be happy to write a part two or more! This is so cute, and I could just hug your creative brain, ah!I’m literally so so sorry for letting you wait this long. I swear, I’m probably sick with procrastination… but that’s no excuse. I’m really sorry, hun.

warnings: nothing at all, just some fluff and such. Also, I didn’t really uh, do any research so pardon me if some things sound inaccurate with Tupelo or any of that.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Being the new girl inside a new school and town was making your cheeks dark scarlet enough, but being late on the first day of school is just making your head hot.

Gripping your books to your chest, as the rough corners of the edges nudge into your wrists, you approach to a closed door. The door’s thick, faded brown with a flimsy title mat that reads, “Room 34.” You take a deep breath, fluttering your eyes closed and prepare yourself. Pressing your palm to the cool, rough wood, you push open and hold your breath.

Greeted with a wrinkled, depressed face of the old teacher, Mrs. Rothe. A dark shade of purple that’s displayed on her thin lips, and lines of boredom that’s around her eyes and cheeks. “Class, this is Y/N, Y/L. Please make her feel welcome, for she is new.” She rolls her dull blue eyes, and turns her front to the class. You smile weakly and also turn, gripping the books to your chest tighter with your sweaty palms. Your eyes trail over the groaned and heavy faces of the pupils. Dull, tedious, and bland.

You purse your lips, awkward but expected until your sight catches a bright face. Your eyes trail over his glowing features. His greasy hair, darkish blonde hair that’s molded just right but somewhat floppy over his forehead. A fine nose that’s planted just right in the middle, and compliments his shining blue “windows to the soul.” A bubbly warm feeling erupts into your chest, but you furrow your eyebrows as you see his eyes darting besides you.

“Ms. Y/l/n, ahem. Are you present?” A creaky voice interrupts your observation and you quickly whip your head to Ms. Rothe. She huffs and waves a bone thin arm in the air, “please take a seat.” You nod, and walk down the aisle between students. You can just feel eyes boring into you as you trail down. Finding a dusty old desk next to a wiry figure of a boy, and a neat, straight posture of a girl.

Plopping down, you suddenly frown. Ms. Rothe instructs the class while writing directions on the chalk board, but it’s not even the sound of the scraping chalk against the green material that makes you slightly upset. You realize that you sit behind the handsome boy that you met eyes with. You’ll have to say hi of course, but maybe in a few days. You don’t want to seem too desperate.

•••••••••••••••••••

When Mrs. Rothe finally stops talking, the clock ticks and shines for brunch break. You hear the excited and sudden shuffling around you, finally making some type of noise inside the empty classroom. The educator raises a hand up and the class grows silent. You just observe and watch.

“Now, now, before anything. I’d like a show of hands to help guide our newest student Y/N, around the quarters.” She croaks out tiredly and over it. You can’t help but bury your face into your palms and softly groan in embarrassment.

Silence. “Anyone?” Mrs. Rothe scoffs out, looking around the classroom to find no limbs or arms up with enthusiasm. You finally pull your face out of your hands and watch along the class to also find that too.

Until a slim, long arm raises up high and mighty, your eyes fixated on the features of the simple arm. “Here, ah’d be more than happy to help out Ms. Y/l/n.” A smooth as honey, southern drawl speaks out. Your eyes widen at the way his accent makes your last name sound, and you feel warmth upon your cheeks.

Your eyes find in meet with his. The same eyes from just earlier, that’s bright and smiling. Not only does his toothy grin spread wide and gorgeous, but the way his eyes light up with just welcoming joy.

“Ah, of course, Elvis, please and thank you, lead her along and show her what’s our daily routine.” Mrs. Rothe sighs out and you can hear the tease and snickers of the other students. “Teacher’s pet” and such being thrown around as the class rushes out.

When the class is finally out on the grass of the play and break field, the eager “tourist” pops up and approaches you. His broad shoulders, and tall frame catch you off guard a bit, but you regain consciousness.

”well, c’mon now, I’ll show ya around.” He smiles and hums and turns his back. But then he immediately halts and looks back at you. “Sorry, mah bad, I’m Elvis Presley.” He blurts out, slightly embarrassed on his small mistake. He brings out his hand and you smile. You take it and both hands interact with a gingerly firm shake.

“Uh once again, I’m Y/N and as you already know I’m new here.” You smile and giggle quietly. He nods and smiles, those round apple cheeks on those high cheekbones are displayed once again, “well, now that we got that outta the way. W-Wanna tour now?” He stammers out, and you can tell that he’s a bit of shy one on the outside. Probably a loud little ball of trouble behind closed doors.

••••••••••••••

The day lingers by, completely different from what you expected. You weren’t alone or isolated awkwardly in any way, instead being greeted so sweetly. You now know where all the bathrooms are, and which water fountain is the best to use. Elvis showed you around real good and you’re surprised that he doesn’t charge you for the tour.

Lunch time rings around and here you were being guided with gentle interlocked hands, through the field. He walks ahead, searching just carefully for his spot. He nearly walks so fast that you can’t keep up.

Finally finding your place beneath a rusty, creaky metal bench. Sitting beneath the rails of rows of seats, and he finally draws out a long huff. “This is my favorite spot.” He smiles out, before ruffling through his lunch box. Elvis then pauses and furrows his eyebrows when you sit besides him empty handed, and timid.

“Uh, did you forget your lunch, y/n?” He frowns and glanced at your empty lap and your embarrassed frown. You only drop your head and clear your throat, clearly not wanting to say anything to make you seem anything less of middle class.

Elvis quickly nudges you softly with his elbow to yours, and pulls out a sandwich wrapped perfectly in yesterday’s newspaper. “Here, c’mon, have some of mine.” He hums out without any hesitation. Before you can even open your lips to protest, he shakes his head and unwraps his sandwich from the wrapping. “It’s peanut budder and jelly, mah favorite.”

He places half of the sweet bread into your palms and smiles over to you, “go on now, c’mon, you can’t just leave some good food on your hands now, will ya?” He smiles out dorkyly, making you giggle and shake your head.

“No, no, of course not.” You snicker and quickly take ahold of your bread and press them to your lips. “Thank you, Elvis.” You smile out and smoothly scoot over to him, chewing on your half of bread.

From just that moment, he knew. From just watching your nervous and unconfident smile earlier in class, and now here with a cute nerdy smile on your lips.

Someday, we’ll be together.

••••••••••••••

Author’s note: it’s finally out…yup! I know it’s probably not really him, because I’d feel he’d be more shy but honestly I felt so so bad for letting you wait hella long.

[cocozydiaries]

Any advice on how to stop procrastinating to shift because you have been constantly failing for 3 years now? Like ik it's worth it to live love laugh in my dr life but I'm afraid i might have to settle here 😭

yk… based on how i fell asleep yesterday halfway through a guided meditating i’m probably not the best person to ask😭

but half this account is me asking dr/shifting related question to help motivate people soooo idk? maybe this might be helpful?

first of all ur wording is so silly! ofc ur gonna feel really down about ur shifting journey when you phrase things like “i’ve been failing for three years”. stop focusing on the amount of time when it really doesn’t mean much at all.

When you do (inevitably) shift do you really think ur gonna focus on how long it took? literally no way. The time it took is gonna feel so meaningless. anyways even if it takes you three years or longer it really doesn’t matter coz that time is gonna pass anyways.

who knows? what if you shift tonight?

anyways (this might be kinda cringe) the main thing i find that helps me not procrastinate is by getting myself like really hyped up and motivated!

yk i’ll think about my dr, maybe go through my dr bedroom visuals (i have a whole pinterest board), or I’ll just think about the people i can’t wait to meet. Sometimes i’ll even just think about any mundane tasks i’ll have to do later that day as if i’m in my Dr.

also back on ur wording. if you don’t want to “settle” for here then don’t? clearly you want more for yourself, so go get it! ur definitely overthinking and over complicating shifting for urself.

but please keep in mind i haven’t shifted (yet) myself so this is all just my personal opinions so i totally wouldn’t mind if other people add onto this with their own advice and opinions :)

(also i’m really srry this took so long to post i was tryna figure out what to say and how to🚶‍♀️)

[lovelynim]

Noises

Honkai Star Rail - Himeko

A/N: This fic is based on a little headcanon I came up with a while ago and shared with some friends. After a little time procrastinating, I decided to write it, hehe.

Summary: During the night, Himeko starts to hear some 'noises' coming from the passengers car

Word count: 1389 words

Himeko stared at the screen in front of her, with arms crossed and a serious facade. If the Astral Express were to take this route, they would, at least, need a couple more supplies for the trip. Food, water, repair kits and… Sigh, the list went on with some other items.

“What a headache,” she muttered, rubbing her temper as she tried to give it another thought. If they could add one or two stops between their final destination, maybe they could leave it for now - but, then, wouldn’t it take twice as much time than their original plan?

As the redheaded navigator dived deeper and deeper into her thoughts, she felt a friendly, gentle touch on her shoulder. Opening her eyes and turning her head around, Himeko was met with Welt’s concerned and worried case. With a slight smile, he pressed his fingers into her shoulder, as if to sooth her or give her some sort of massage.

“Do you need some help, Himeko?”

“Mr. Welt, I didn’t expect to see you in the parlor car this late,” she joked, huffing a giggle as she rested one of her hands on top of his. 

“As much as I appreciate your offer, I should deny it. These are just some matters up to me to solve as the express’s navigator, nothing you should worry yourself with.”

He nodded, lifting his hand from her shoulder as her words reached him. “I know I can’t convince you when you settle your mind or something, but at least promise me you’ll get some sleep.”

“Hahah, you are treating me like one of the kids, mr. Welt?” 

“I wouldn’t word it like that, but I think it works.”

Well…’ Himeko started as she crossed one leg over the other, sighing. “I will figure this out, it’s just a matter of time. If I don’t solve this within the next 30 minutes, I’ll leave it for tomorrow.”

“Very well, I will return to my bedroom, then, but call me if you need anything.”

“Oh, wait for me. I need to pick something in my room as well,” she said, elegantly getting up from her seat and walking down the car with Welt.

“And what would it be?”

“Just… something to drink,” she said sheepishly, already predicting how the male would react.

“Tsk, are you sure it is a good idea to drink coffee at this hour?”

“Oh please, who do you think I am? Just a cup is far from enough to keep me up, hahah ~”

As they strolled down the passengers car, the duo couldn’t help but notice a small chatter coming from Dan Heng’s room. Besides the Express’s archivist’s voice, the newest member’s could also be heard coming from inside the room.

“Dan Heng must be having a tough time sharing a room with Caelus, I never saw his bedroom’s lights on so late,” Welt observed, continuing to walk with Himeko.

“Let the kids enjoy themselves, mr. Welt, it’s best for the crew if everyone tag along. Besides, Dan Heng has quite the knowledge in a couple of topics, I’m sure it will do Caelus some good to learn about those while staying in his room,” she smiled, stopping in front of her room’s door and watching while Welt headed to his.

“Good night, Himeko.”

“Good night, mr. Welt!”

Heading inside, Himeko quickly turned on her coffee machine, dropping the capsule as she muttered a tune one of the kids played in the phonograph earlier while she waited. The navigator inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent of fresh coffee, smiling as she could pull her cup from the machine. “Now, let’s go back to work…”

Carrying her cup in one hand, she decided to walk a little slowly as she left her bedroom, after all, she didn’t even want to think about what Pom-Pom would say if she left a coffee stain on the carpet. But it shouldn’t take long for her to reach the-

thud

As the sound of something hitting the floor echoed from one of the bedroom’s, Himeko arched her eyebrow, concerned about the noise. Just what in the words were these kids up to at this hour?

As more weird sounds of impact came, the redheaded could tell their source: Dan Heng’s room. With careful steps, Himeko slowly approaches the room. As she lifted her hand as was about to knock on the door to check on him and Caelus, voices came from the other side of the door.

“C-Caelus! Stop… it… agh-”

“Come ooon ~”

What?

She blinked a few times, not sure if what she heard was right. Dan Heng’s voice sounded so… strangled, while the tone in Caelus’s words was… concerning. What was going on?

“N-nohoho!!”

She stopped again, standing in front of the door with a blank look on her face. All the worry from seconds ago seemed to vanish as she heard Dan Heng… laugh?

“Hehe, there it is! So you are ticklish…”

“E-enohohough!” She heard Dan Heng say, clearly laughing.

The noises from what sounded like a wrestling competition seemed to fit as the last pieces from the picture she was building in her mind. Much to her comfort, nothing harmful was happening.

“Where else are you ticklish? Here? Or… here?”

“C-Caelus! AHahAHAh, n-nohOHOT THEHERE!”

She couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, taking a sip from her cup after she was done giggling at the scene in her imagination - after all, it would be a waste to let such a good coffee go cold.

Since he joined the express, Himeko never heard Dan Heng laugh like that - or being so loud, for that matter. But, a day after the new guy came in and, well, look (or hear) at him. 

Shaking her head, with a sly smile on her face, she decided to let the two of them be, resuming her walk as Dan Heng’s laughter slowly faded away, becoming quieter and quieter until nothing else could be heard.

As she headed back to the table where she was working on - and after finishing her coffee - Himeko could, indeed, finish her planning and, just like the rest of the crew (or, at least, most of them), she could head back to her room and enjoy a good and deserved rest.

By the wake up call time, when the members of the crew slowly headed to the parlor car to eat their breakfast, Himeko was already up, enjoying her drink - which, of course, was another cup of coffee.

“Good morning, Himeko,” a low, sleepy voice came from her side. Turning her head, she could see Dan Heng approaching, joining her at the breakfast table. “Good morning, Pom-Pom,” he added, greeting the conductor who was already running around the car.

“Oh, good morning, Dan Heng,” she said, smiling fondly at the boy as she placed her cup down. “Did you sleep well?”

“Ah, yes, I suppose. What about you?”

“Well, I have to admit I could finally rest at ease after finishing the planning, hahah. But it’s good to know you could catch some sleep as well, I was worried about you,” she said, closing her eyes as her lips curled into a smug smile.

“Huh?” Dan Heng tilted his head, blinking a few times in confusion, “worried about me? Because I was sharing the room with Caelus?”

“Oh, not because of that. I’m sure you guys were getting along just fine… I was just thinking if you could sleep with all that noise coming from your room during the night.”

Dan Heng choked as those words reached him, banging his fist against his chest as he coughed, trying to catch his breath. His cheeks were already turning a little pink when he looked back at Himeko, with widened eyes. “N-noise? You… heard that?!”

“I was just passing by, don’t worry,” she chuckled at his reaction, resting her head on her hand, “but it’s good to see that you two were having fun. I never heard you laugh like that,” she added, giggling.

“L-laugh..? Oh, you- ah, I see,” he sighed, relieved, “Caelus just decided to mess with me and started tickling me. I didn’t mean to be lo-”

“Wait… what did you think I was talking about?”

“A-ahm… y-you see, it’s nothing, really,” he muttered, realizing he probably said more than he should.

[makeyoumine69]

Take me Back to the Start

◥ PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

◥ SUMMARY: You couldn't imagine that just one random meeting can change your life forever.

◥ WARNINGS: Swearing, Patrick being a dick, super toxic behavior.

◥ WORDCOUNT: 2k

◥ A/N: Finally, I wrote some backstory about how Cupcake and Patrick met; I hope you like the whole idea of story-driven fics!

◥ SONG REC: Pastel Ghost - Dark Beach😈

◥ LINKS: [Sweet like a Cupcake Masterlist] [Main Masterlist]

Another busy day at Pierce & Pierce turned into a full mess, as you didn’t know how to handle all the things you had to do, starting with some shitty paperwork and ending with a lot of calculations for the upcoming monthly report. Being an accountant in a company like that was hella tough, but you never used to complain because you loved your job, anyway. 

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), do you hear me?” Your colleague called you several more times before you finally glanced at her as you were sitting at your desk, which was littered with different documents.

“Yeah, what happened?” You grumbled, rubbing your tired eyes as if it could freshen you up a bit.

“Need your help, I know you are busy, but...” 

Sighing, you put your pencil on the table, taking a sip of the awful coffee you never liked. “Surprise me, what problems do we have this time?”

“Ah,come on!” she waved away, but her face turned red. “It’s nothing crucial, just some courier stuff…”

“What stuff?”

With a dull thud, your colleague placed a thick folder on your desk, with some papers inside—it looked like something really important. “(Y/N), please, save me! I need to finish my report today or our old witch of a manager will tear me apart!”

Crossing your arms on your chest, you gave her a judging gaze, shaking your head and lamenting: “Did I tell you that your habit of procrastinating will end up badly?” 

“I know… I just had a date yesterday and…”

Frowning, you stopped her with a hand. “Heard this story already! Better tell me who our courier is and when will he come?”

“Gosh, (Y/N)! You’re the best,” she nearly jumped in place before she rushed towards your desk once again and took a seat on the wooden surface of it. “I don’t really remember the name of the courier service, but I remember the courier will arrive in about… Agh-an hour and a half!”

“Okay, okay,” nodding your head, you grabbed a folder and pulled it closer to inspect it a bit. “To whom are we sending these docs? I can’t see the recipient's address…”

“Oh shit, I probably forgot to fill it in!”

“Great….” You were about to facepalm when an unexpected knock at the door got your attention.

A slightly familiar face showed up in your office, but you couldn’t remember who exactly the old woman was and your colleague seemed to be quite confused too.

“Sorry, ladies for disturbing you, but I got a call from the receptionist. It said some courier was waiting for his package.”

Now, you were furious. “But you said an hour and a half!”

“Sorry, sorry! I probably mixed something up… Wait! I have a card which belongs to the one guy from that company,” she quickly gave it to you, looking very embarrassed. “There should be an address!”

“You better hope it’s correct,” you stood up from your armchair, taking the folder with you as you were in a nervous rush, and you hated situations like that. “And when I come back, I don’t want to know how you got this card, okay?”

Scowling, you excused yourself to the old lady in the doorways as you moved past her, sensing yourself on the verge of annoyance. 

The hall was very crowded at this time of the day, nothing new actually, but the long waiting for a goddamn elevator irritated you, especially now, when you needed to be as swift as you could cause you didn’t like to be late, ignoring the fact that this whole situation was already fucked up not your fault.

Looking around you were searching for the courier when you noticed a handsome guy standing near the reception desk. Still anxious, you strolled across the hall toward that man, hoping your intuition won’t fail you.

“Excuse me, sir,” you said, tapping his shoulder. “Are you waiting for someone?”

“Good afternoon! What a busy day!” he exclaimed, swinging his hands in the air. “Uh, I’m here to pick up some docs from a lady whose name is…”

“Cindy Harrington?” The guy looked at the small piece of paper before replying: “Yes! That’s right.”

“Well, I’m not her but I brought you the stuff you need.” Smiling, you gave him the folder, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank you so much! I thought I was gonna be here forever.”

“Erm, sorry for the delay!”

“It's not a big deal, have a nice day!” He grinned in response before turning around and walking away.

Pleased with yourself, you were watching him going through the crowd of people when you remembered you didn’t write the recipient's address and didn’t even hand him a business card, which Cindy gave you before you left your office. Damn, how could you forget?!

Breathing heavily, you broke out of the place to chase the courier, yelling: “Sir, wait!” 

You could barely see his back in the endless flow of people, but you didn’t give up, almost running across the hall, fumbling with the business card in your hand.

“Sir!” 

You shouted again and again, seeing nothing but his departing figure, feeling adrenaline rushing in your veins. The guy was so close and so far away but once you thought you almost got him; you felt a strong hit right against your body as it seemed like you bumped into someone, someone very solid. 

The clash was so sudden; you let the business card fall on the floor and almost right away some yuppies stepped on it without even noticing. Once you got down to grab it, you spotted a pair of patent leather shoes. Swallowing hard, you raised your eyes to see a tall, good-looking man, whose facial expression caused your heart to skip a beat.

“Are you blind?” He yelled at you, taking off his headphones angrily. 

“I’m sorry, sir...” You conceded, standing up and noticing how tiny you were compared to him.

“You are just sorry? Look at that!” he pointed at his shoes, with a cigar in his hand. “I bought them only yesterday! Do you even know how much they cost?”

“Sir, I’m really sorry!”

“Do you really think ya sorry is fuckin’ enough?” He blurted out, making everyone around look at you.

It was so frustrating; you even closed your eyes for a moment as you didn’t really know how to react in this situation.

“You are not only blind but deaf too?”

“Sir, I already apologised to you!” you suddenly sneered in a stern voice. “I’m sorry, but right now I don’t have a shoe brush to solve this problem!”

He seemed to be shocked, as he looked at you in disbelief before shouting in a furious voice: “You fuck…”

“Bateman!” 

Shaking slightly, you flinched and glanced to the side to see a dark-haired yuppie who patted your offender’s shoulder; that was the best moment for you to run away from here, disappearing into the crowd of people.

“Hey, we aren’t finished!” Patrick screamed at your back, pushing Timothy Bryce from his way. 

“What’s wrong?” Bryce asked, giving him a questionable look. “Did that chick reject you?”

“W-what?” Bateman almost choked from indignation, brushing off Timothy’s hands from his shoulders. “Did you even see her? She’s ugly as hell!”

“Yeap, definitely not your type,” he clicked his tongue before lighting a cigarette. “But seriously, what happened? I could hear you shouting from outside.”

“That bitch stepped on my shoes,” Patrick looked down at them, biting his lower lip, frowning with displeasure. “And this is the first time I’ve worn them!”

Bryce rolled his eyes, theatrically wiping away a tear. “What a tragedy, Bateman. Are you gonna fire her for that?”

Humming to himself, Patrick glanced at the place you were standing some moments ago, his mind was busy thinking about a plan… Cause, if he just fired you, that would be too easy…

“Bateman, are you here?” Timothy snapped his fingers in front of Patrick’s face.

“I have… I have a better idea. Let's go, gentlemen are waiting for us in the meeting room.” Patrick uttered, his devilish smile glowed on his face, as he moved forward, leaving Bryce completely confused.

Huffing, you nearly broke into your office and leaned against the door with your eyes firmly closed.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong?” Cindy worried, leaving her desk. “You look like you saw a ghost.”

“I saw worse...” You snorted, fixing your slightly messy hair. 

Now, your colleague was looking as scared as you, nervously twirling a pen with her fingers. “Maybe you want some coffee?” she watched you walking back and forth around the office. “Something bad happened with docs? You didn’t make it?”

Her quiet but demanding voice brought you back to the Earth as you breathed deeply, pulling yourself together. “No, everything went fine.”

You confused Cindy, so she got closer to your table, picking up the spoiled business card you just laid on. “Is this why you look so sad?”

“I bumped into one of the Vice Presidents and it seemed like I stained his super expensive shoes!” You said quickly, and you even had to catch the air after your words, feeling your head pulsating from massive stress.

“Wow! Do you know his name?” She sounded strangely excited.

“Whose name?” You sat at your desk, leaning on your elbows as you were massaging your temples.

“Vice President you bumped into, of course! Who was that?”

“His last name is Bateman if I’m not mistaken…” You almost fell from your armchair from how she screamed at your words.

“No way!” Cindy pressed both hands to her forehead like she was about to lose consciousness. “Oh my God! He’s…He’s so hot!”

Your half-opened mouth literally froze in shock as you couldn't believe what you just heard.

“Damn, (Y/N)! I wish I were in your place!” She murmured as if she was dreaming about it right now.

“Are you kidding me?” you crossed your arms, scowling just from one thought about him. “He’s an arrogant bastard! Who knows nothing about good manners!” you nearly spitted out your words, hitting your little fist against the wooden surface of your table. “And now, my destiny is in his hands–will he fire me or not? How pathetic…”

“What are you talking about!” she rolled her eyes, wailing as if she was your teacher: “Mr. Bateman is a very kind man! I heard a lot about him, he’s the boy next door! How can he fire you? Besides, he has a weak spot for cute girls…”

“Jesus…How in the hell did you know about all of these stupid yarns?” you grabbed your head in order to close your ears. “Wait! Don’t tell me! I don’t want to hear anything about this ‘boy next door’, you understand?”

Cindy let out a small giggle, looking at you suspiciously before asking some more questions, which pissed you off completely: “You like him, don’t you? I bet he’s so handsome…How does it feel to stand beside him? Ohhhh… Which girls do you think he likes the most?”

Sighing helplessly, you gave her a killing gaze, cutting her off with a stern statement: “Why don’t you go there and ask him yourself about all this bullshit you want to know about him?!”

Thank God, your phone rang–never in your life have you felt happier getting a phone call than now.

Confidently, you picked up the phone. “I'm listening...”

“Hi, (Y/N)!” your boss's slightly grumpy voice echoed in your ear. “My colleagues told me you had a conflict with Mr. Bateman in the hall today. I just wanna know if you resolved that situation. Everyone in our company must appreciate their superiors!...”

You made a loud gasp, not really paying attention to your boss's instructions anymore as your mind was occupied by the only one thought, which would bother you for a long time–how had this bastard managed to bring you so many problems so quickly all of which you had never had during all the time you’ve worked here?

[imagineddworld]

Not so innocent game of truth or dare

Pairing: Xavier Thrope x reader 

Summary: Unbeknownst to them, Xavier and the reader are crushing on one another. In a not so innocent game of truth or dare some feelings come to the surface. Will something beautiful blossom from this?

Word count: 3735 (3.7k)

Warnings: mention of drinking alcohol, sexual tension

Autor’s note: So yeahh.. I once again am obsessed with Wednesday, especially this boy. So I could not not write something about him. Since i base all my fics on me, i made the reader have ADHD like me. I hope you don’t mind. Anyway, enjoy! Also my apologies for not making this gender neutral, I had forgotten about it during writing this fic. But the gender is only implied, not specifically stated.

You sat at your desk, studying while listening to music. Your foot was tapping along to the beat as the melody blasted through your headphones. It helped you focus on the tedious task of writing an essay about some boring plant. That was till your favorite song came on. You couldn’t help yourself but dance along to it. You jumped up from your chair, wildly swinging your arms and bouncing around the room. Sitting still had caused a lot of pent up energy to be stuck in your body, making its way through your veins like a string of electricity. As you moved your body along the music, you felt the overload of energy decrease. You danced till you finally deemed yourself calm enough to sit still again, or as still as possible. You had to switch positions every few minutes, bouncing your leg and fiddling with some stupid object in your hand as your wrote down the information.  

The words were flowing from your pen. Every once in a while you browsed through the pages of the book, looking up new information that you could use in your essay. You were engulfed in your own work bubble, not aware of your surroundings. This caused you to miss the knock on your door. The intruder sighed at the sight of your studying figure , walking further into the room until they stood next to your desk. You only noticed their presence when your headphones were abruptly taken from your head. This made you jump up, nearly hitting the person square in the face. “What the hell, Enid”, you exclaimed in an annoyed tone, slowly lowering your arms. She watched you with wide eyes, holding her hands up in surrender. “Sorry”, she gave you an apologetic look. ‘What do you want?”, you asked her in a monotone voice, not pleased being interrupted while you finally were able to concentrate on something. She raised her eyebrow, questioning if you were really asking her such a thing. In response, you lightly shook your head while scrunching your eyebrows together in confusion. “It’s Friday”, she exclaimed, as if it were obvious. But this statement didn’t gave you any more information. “I’m aware, yes”, you still held the same confused expression on your face, not getting where she was going with this conversation. “You’re not supposed to study on a Friday. Let’s party, have some fun”. Her exciting energy was contagious, lighting your sour mood in an instance. “Temping, but I decline your offer’, you gave her a small smile, while taking your headphones back from her hand that was still holding onto them. You were about to put them on your head again, walking back towards your desk as she stopped you in your tracks. “Oh come on, (y/n). Please come hang out with us”, she begged, putting on her best puppy eyes. “I can’t”. “How so?” Enid wasn’t going to give up so easily. This was going to be a long night. You sighed. “Because of this stupid essay. I need to get a head start on it otherwise I won’t be able to finish it in time”. She scoffed at your statement. “Of course, you will. You are one of the smartest person I know.” You chuckled: “I didn’t state that I wasn’t smart. It’s just that writing this essay is such a soul-destroying task that my ADHD-brain will just procrastinate it until I only have a few hours left until the deadline.” The blond girl nodded in understanding, but wasn’t giving up. “I’ll help you finish it.. Just come hang out with us for now”. You let out another sigh, pondering over the offer. It was tempting, very tempting. Any activity that wasn’t writing that stupid essay sounded good to you at the moment. 

“We’re all going to hang out in Xavier’s dorm, drinking booze...” Enid wiggled her eyebrows at you, knowing that you wouldn’t want to miss out on hanging around Xavier. You regretted telling her the truth about your silly crush on the so called tortured artist. But in all honesty, she had infiltrated your life. If she wasn’t so curious, watching your every move as you were around him, your crush would’ve still been a secret. Ever since she found out that information, she had been teasing you. As for the current situation, she used it to persuade you, knowing that it would be hard to decline her offer if you knew Xavier would be there. You opened your mouth to speak, but she gave you no time actually for a respons. “Whatever, you’re going with me anyway”, she spoke while grabbing a hold of your wrist, lightly dragging you out of your dorm room. “Enid stop. At least give me the chance to change clothes”. She looked over her shoulder, eyeing you up and down - all while she was still dragging you through the halls. “You look amazing, no need to change”. You doubted her, seen that you wore a very oversized sweater on top of your dress. Your legs were covered in nylon stockings as your feet were covered in fussy sock. None of the colours matched one another. It was as if you just had thrown on any piece you found the quickest. You briefly looked at your feet, realizing that you weren’t wearing any shoes. “I’m not even wearing shoes”, you exclaimed. “Doesn’t matter, we’re not going outside.” You let out a loud sigh, knowing that arguing with the blond werewolf was not going to bring you anywhere. She would only let go of your wrist until you arrived at Xavier’s dorm. So you let yourself get dragged along the cold halls of Nevermore.

Once upon arrival, Enid knocked excitedly on the door. You heard light music and chatter coming from behind the door. It took a few moments for the door to be opened. Xavier’s tall figure greeting the two of you once it did. He smiled at you both, opening the door a little further to let you in. Enid hopped towards the others, quickly conversing with them. As you went to enter the room Xavier spoke up: “didn’t expect you to come”. He had a small smile adorning his face while his warm eyes looked into yours. “I really didn’t have a choice”, you spoke in a monotone voice. You scolded Enid in your head for allowing you to wear such an outfit as you went to meet up with your friends, specifically Xavier. He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion, trying to make sense of your answer. You nodded your head towards Enid, silently communicating that it was her doing. He gave a sign of understanding. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.” You offered him a small smile before continuing to make your way into the room, not sure how to respond to such a comment. It’s not that you didn’t understand the social structures. It was actually due to an overload of possible ways to respond. Your head came up with multiple replies. Choosing one was just too tedious, so you opted for not reacting at all. 

The beginning of the evening went by slow. You didn’t say much. You listened to the others, swaying your head along to the music while drinking some of the booze they had sneaked into Nevermore. You sat on the ground, leaning against the side of Xavier’s bed. This way you had an overview of everyone. Enid was sat between Ajax and Wednesday. The love triangle being painfully obvious. The two of them were battling for Enid’s attention, even though Wednesday wouldn’t admit to that. She refused to allow herself to feel any sort of those type of feelings, gagging at the thought of them. But she knew that blond werewolf had ignite something inside of her, to her dismay. 

A bit further into the room you heard the loud laughing of Bianca and Yoko, both clearly intoxicated by the drinks in their hands. You pulled your attention from them to look at the only person left in the room that you purposefully hadn’t acknowledged much. Xavier sat at his desk, sketching some things in his sketchbook while enjoying the music and occasional gulp of his drink. You allowed your eyes to roam over his figure, adoring how he looked. You tried to observe every detail. From his messy hair to the little specks of brown in his eyes. 

As the evening strolled around, things had gotten more interesting. You started to play an innocent game of ‘Truth or dare’. Soon it turned into a more challenging version. As someone didn’t completed their dare or truthfully answered the question, they had to take a shot. The punishment eventually evolved into taking a piece of clothing off. By now you had to get rid of your fussy socks and oversized sweater. Luckily the booze in your system kept you warm, otherwise you would be shivering the whole time. 

Dares were thrown at people since barely anyone choose truth. Ajax had to kiss Enid. Afterwards she was dared to kiss Wednesday, much to the girl’s dismay. She might have acted as if she hated to kiss Enid, but you noticed that their lips lingered longer than a normal kiss between best friends would be. You were next, impatiently waiting for your turn. “Truth or dare? Choose wisely”, Bianca asked teasingly. “I always do darling”, you winked at her in a playful demander, “Bring on the challenge”. She laughed at your behavior, pondering over a possible dare to give to you. She was about to open her mouth to speak when Enid interrupted her. “Sit on Xavier’s lap until it’s your turn again”, she smirked at her own brilliance. You shoot her a cold look, knowing what she was trying to do. But you wouldn’t let her win this battle. Two people could play that game. “Sure, if he is okay with that”, you stated calmly while continuing to stare into her eyes, trying to show that she’s not getting underneath your skin. “It’s fine by me”, Xavier spoke softly. This comment pulled your attention, diverting your eyes towards him. You didn’t expect him to accept such a thing. The two of you were close, comfortably hanging out with one another and enjoying each others company. None the less, you two weren’t particularly touchy throughout your friendship. You shared the occasional hug, but that was as far as showing physical affection got.

You stood up, dusting off your dress. Enid was watching you with anticipation, dying to know how the two of you would react to being so close and intimate with the other. Just to annoy her, you took extra long to make your way over to Xavier. Once you reached his desk, standing next to his sitting figure, you made brief eye contact with him. “You sure it’s okay?”, you questioned in a soft voice so only he could hear you. He nodded his head while a kind smile curled his lips upwards. “It is”. With that you sat down on his legs, trying to put as much weight on your own legs. Of course Xavier noticed what you were doing, so he pulled you closer to his chest while shifting your legs over to the side. This way you were sitting sideways on his lap, your arm leaning against his chest. He draped his arm around your waist, resting his large hand just above your hip. At first you felt strange to be in such a close proximity to him. You could feel his breath fanning against your face, causing goosebumps to cover your skin. But the longer you sat on his lap, the more comfortable you felt. The heat of his body was warming yours. The smell of his cologne infiltrating your nose, making you feel intoxicated by him. His thumb was lightly drawing figures on your clothed skin, causing a calming sensation to wash over you. However it didn’t mean that you weren’t restless anymore. You were swinging your legs back and forth while your hands fiddled with the hem of your dress. Every few minutes you shifted in his lap, trying to change positions to have some variety. As you did so, you felt Xavier tense up underneath you. He let out a soft cough, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. After a few more seconds of wiggling around in his lap, his large hand gripped your thigh. This made your movements stop, no longer trying to get into a new comfortable position. “Stop moving, please”, he said quietly in your ear. His breath tickled your skin, making a shiver run down your spine as goosebumps covered your skin again. You looked up at him, only now registering how close your faces were to one another. You had to swallow the small lump down your throat before you could speak. “Sorry”, you mumbled, feeling an odd tension arise in the room - specifically between you and Xavier. Your mind started to drift away from reality, overanalysing the sudden change. The chatter from the others got drown out by your thoughts as your eyes stared off into the distance. Why did he stiffen at your movement? Was he uncomfortable with you on his lap? Your mind was racing a thousand miles an hour, not being able to keep up with all the screaming thoughts. 

You were so consumed by your mind that you hadn’t realize the time ticking by. The dares completed by the others went unnoticed by you. You had zoned out the entire time the group went through another round of ‘truth or dare’. You missed Bianca twerking to the music, Yoko admitting her deepest secret to the group and them calling out your name as your turn came up. Xavier lightly shook you, trying to get your attention. “(y/n)?” His hand rubbed up and down your arm. The sensation of his warm skin against yours brought you back to reality. You blinked quickly, trying to register your surroundings as you looked confused around the room. “Someone was deep in trance”, Bianca teased, chuckling lightly at your flustered state. “Yeah, she’s totally intoxicated by him”, Yoko added to the one sided conversation. “Oh come on, let her be. She’s just comfortable up there”, Enid tried to keep the teasing at bay. Only she had the right to tease you about this situation, knowing the depths behind it. “You can stay if you want”, Xavier said, still softly rubbing your arm. “No, it’s okay”, you were trying to make your way of his lap, but his arm stopped your movements. “Please?”, he asked. His voice quietly filled your ears, sending another huge shiver down your spine. You looked back at him with a questioning look, not understanding all the signs he was giving. Perhaps you were reading them wrong. 

The group was carefully watching your interaction, intrigued by how it would play out. Well, everyone beside Wednesday. She scrunched her face up in disgust at the lovey dovey stuff. “Ready to take on another dare?”, her monotone voice interrupted the moment. Enid looked annoyed at the girl beside her, lightly hitting her arm. This interruption had caused you to stand up from Xavier’s lap. The cold immediately overtook your body, missing the heat that had been radiating from the tall boy. “Sure why not”, you responded, awkwardly standing next to the desk. “What about staying in Xavier’s lap for the rest of the evening?”, Enid suggested. The rest of the group agreed with her. You looked over at Xavier, silently asking him for permission to return to your spot in his lap. He nodded his head lightly as a bright smile adorned his face. 

You were glad to be back in his lap, the warmth of his body already heating up yours. It was comfortable. The odd tension that previously hung between you had decreased to something bearable. However your mind was still wandering, trying to piece together all the signs he had been giving this evening. Something didn’t add up, but you weren’t going to waste more time thinking about it. You decided to just enjoy the moment for what it was. 

As the game continued, you felt yourself grow tired. Your head felt heavy, a certain fog started clouding your mind. So without thinking much about it, you laid your head against Xavier’s shoulder. You felt him look down at you, probably questioning himself why you rested your head against him. “Tired?”, he asked softly. “A bit”, you mumbled back, snuggling closer to him. His arm tightened around your waist, holding you close to his chest. After a while he rested his head against yours, being comfortable with your current position. In all honesty he didn’t want to leave this position ever. He finally had you close to him, something that he had been dreaming about for months.

“Xavier”, Ajax’s loud voice filled the room, making said boy jump lightly in his chair. The movement made you jump up too. You lifted your head from his shoulder, your hand resting on his chest to stable yourself. You felt his rapid beating heart underneath your skin, wondering what the reason behind his rapid heartbeat was. 

“Truth or dare?” Xavier pondered over the possible outcomes. Everyone was getting tired so the dares weren’t as challenging anymore. What harm would it do to accept another one? “Uhm, dare I suppose”. He saw the gorgon exchanging looks with Enid, both wearing wide grins on their faces. He already hated the decision he made. “I dare you to stare into (Y/n)’s eyes for one minute while your faces are only a few inches apart”. That shouldn’t be so hard, he thought to himself. But boy was he wrong. 

You straddled him, both legs at each side of him so you were now facing to him. His arms were comfortably draped around your waist, holding you in place. Your faces were just a few inches away from one another, causing your breath to mingle together. At first Xavier just stared into your eyes, observing all the colours he could find swirling in them. The small little specks in them resembling their own personal galaxy. He could stare at you all day, get lost in your beauty for eternity. He couldn’t stop his eyes from adverting towards your lips every once in a while. They looked so soft. He wondered how it would feel to kiss them, to have them against his. Without registering his moving body, he leaned in closer. It was as if some magnet was pulling him towards you. Just as his eyes darted back to look at your lips, he noticed that you were staring at his lips; licking yours as a reaction. “Like what you see?”, he teased as a wide smile made its way up his face. “Always”, you retorted back, too entranced with his beauty to care about possibly ruining your friendship. You eagerly wanted to close the gap between you two. You wanted to get lost in the feeling, the high of finally being able to kiss him and claiming his as yours. 

His hand slowly cupped your cheek, stroking softly against your skin with his thumb. You were less than an inch apart, both itching to finally touch the other. Your eyes fluttered shut as you followed your instinct, slowly moving closer to him. But before anything could happen - before your lips connected - a loud monotone voice interrupted the moment. “Time’s up”, Wednesday announced. “Nooo”, you heard a couple of people respond to the interruption. At that you backed away from Xavier, sad that the moment had been ruined. You had forgotten about your surroundings, getting lost in the longing. Hearing the others biker had pulled you back into reality. A heavy weight settled itself onto your chest. This might had been the only chance to kiss him, to make your dream come true. You awkwardly fiddled with your hands, not daring to look Xavier in the eyes again. For some reason you felt embarrassed, like you were only fooling yourself. 

Unbeknownst to you Xavier had a similar battle going on in his mind, blaming himself for not kissing you earlier. He felt as if he had wasted his only chance at getting with the person of his dreams. Seeing you so vulnerable in front of him, broke his heart. He wondered if you were feeling the same emotions as him. Did you want to kiss him as badly as he wanted to kiss you? Was that why you suddenly look so devastated? Before more questions could pop in his mind, he let out a sigh escape from his lips. “Fuck it”, he said underneath his breath, just loud enough for you to pick up on the sound. He tilted your head upwards with his finger, making you look at him. His large hands came to cup your face, before he closed the gap between you two. At first you were too stunned to react, unsure of what to do. You weren’t fully able to register what was currently happening to you. But soon your body reacted on its own, moving your lips along with his. One of your hands went to his hair, while the other grabbed onto his shirt. You melted into his body, craving his touch. This was all you ever wanted. 

You broke apart at the sound of your friends whistling and celebrating this sweet moment. It was painful for them to watch you both be so in love with each other, but no one making a move. Your eyes fluttered open, looking deeply into Xavier’s eyes while an idiotic grin made its way onto your face. He mimicked your expression, feeling overjoyed. You felt your cheeks heat up at the realization of what just happened. The kiss was amazing, but you felt embarrassed to express such an intimate moment in the presence of your friends. Their teasing would be unbearable. You groaned at the thought, hiding your face into the crook of Xavier’s neck. This action made him chuckle. He just held you tightly against him, hoping that this moment would last forever. The high of kissing you taking over, no longer caring about the teasing of his friends. He had you close to him and that was all he wanted right now.

[obsessedtomone]

Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 4 - Mistakes▸Shigaraki x femReader

Chapter Summary:

◤ Honestly, what the fuck were you thinking?

All alarms are going off in your useless excuse of a brain and you started feeling an immense amount of dread seeping into your bones. ◢ Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tags TW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.

AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics

Chapters: One • Two • Three • Four • Five

Chapter 4 - Mistakes

It was ninety-three MILLION fucking miles away and somehow the sun still manages to shine through the blinds and right in your fucking face.

You squint at your phone.

150 missed messages from the Comp-Sci project group chat and another eight from Taylor.

The past one and a half weeks were pretty uneventful. You slept, climbed ranks in the holy trinity of Riot Games, worked part time and showed up to your classes—if only half of the time.

You were particularly prone to dodging your computer science class, telling yourself it wasn’t for any reason in particular.

In short, you were doing fine. The ‘free’ time you had felt boring and seemingly peaceful. Luckily boring was exactly what you needed—especially when most of your life was anything but. That being said, it was hard to ignore your ape brain that was craving the instability and the stress you got used to growing up. Having academic goals and working hard towards them helped that aspect of yourself quite a bit, but it still felt like something was missing. Something only years of therapy and healthy relationships with people would change.

As the deadline was quickly approaching, it was finally time to check what the project was about and do your part before your presentation on Wednesday. The phone numbers of three other people you’ve never heard or cared enough to learn the name of were displayed on top of the chat.

You scroll down and notice they’re freaking out about two of the members—one of them being you—not sending their part yet, despite the deadline only being about two and a half days away.

Yui(I think?) – What do we do about the others, Ojiro…? :( Guys pls, I don’t wanna do everything alone. [Sent 9:13 AM]

Mashirao(jock blondie) – I will call them later today, and if they don’t reply then, we’re on our own I guess. We’ll have to let the professor know. They should know better by now, honestly. Can’t believe one of them is an ‘honors student’, what a damn joke. [Sent 9:17 AM]

Yui(I think?)– Ahh! Stop! They can read this too!! [Sent 9:25 AM]

Mashirao(jock blondie)– Let them. They need to feel ashamed for making us do all the work. [Sent 9:17 AM]

You roll your eyes at their childish hostility.

Wow, firstly, they had absolutely no faith in you, you think. Secondly, are they three years old? They are openly discussing fucking you over in a group chat that you’re literally part of. At least do that shit in your DMs, not in the open where everyone can see them.

If you really thought about it, it was sort of fair. You probably are the world’s laziest, biggest procrastinator, but what they didn’t understand is that you’re not bad at farming credits. Two days of work is more than enough for you to do your part and then some.

You’re horrible in almost all aspects of life, but your high achiever brain will always power up when you need it to. If anything, you never understood how other students needed so much time to figure out their shit, the material is always pretty straight forward unless the professor botched it themselves, but it wasn’t the case here.

Yui(I think?) – Yeah so… I finally added my part to the shared doc! If by some miracle the other two see this, you guys have access to it too. Please please send yours in time, I don’t want to almost fail CS again this year maaan ;_; [Sent 10:30 AM]

You – ill get everything done before the deadline, don’t get your panties in a twist. also pro tip, if you tap the back button on the chat window, look for someone’s phone number and then open it, you can actually write all your shitty comments privately ;) ttyl [Sent 2:14 PM]

Before you close the chat window, you see two rows of angry dot animations ready to cuss you out.

Too bad you couldn’t be bothered.

And so you stand up, take a shower—for the first time in a couple of days—and mentally prepare yourself for two weeks worth of work squeezed into a one all-nighter and a half.

After all, in stress, you thrive.

─────────

Thud –

Dropping your bag next to your desk, you slide in your seat.

Your favorite neighbor’s white haired head is buried in his arms, laying against his desk and possibly taking a goddamn nap. This motherfucker.

The two week creep-detox did nothing for you, as you noticed your disdain for him was still as fresh as it was the night at the convenience store—if not even stronger.

Not only did he not fucking reply to your group in time—as if you did—but he also didn’t contribute to your project whatso-fucking-ever. In fact, he’s never read any of the group chat’s messages.

You were beyond fucking annoyed at him, because—to your group’s surprise, not only did you do your part, but you also covered for his and fixed everyone else’s. Incompetent fuckers.

It was stupid to let yourself get walked all over, but at least it shut both of the idiots up and that was enough motivation for you to get the job done. That, and the scholarship you fought to keep rolling every year.

There’s two interesting things that you found out during this group project. The first one was that the asshole’s name was Shigaraki fucking Tomura.

The Shigaraki Tomura.

You’d heard about his infamy over the years—never being able to put a face to the name—but nothing came even close to the stories Taylor began telling you about him.

‘Like girl, do you live under a fucking rock?!’ is what your friend asked extremely dramatically before setting off on spilling the ‘tea’ for ‘your uncultured ass’—whatever the fuck that meant.

It looks like the mystery slacker wasn’t just a random incel loser who got off on paying for stranger’s energy drinks and cup noodles, but also seemed to be a serious anti-social, borderline criminal individual.

According to the stories, he’s now been in court more times than you can count, charged with various offenses that ranged from physical violence, assault, theft, vandalism, drug-related charges, to more minor ones such as trespassing and public disturbances—either of them involving either students or straight up gang members.

Aside from that, he’s friends with a bunch of other convicted criminal misfits, seemed to have spent a few months in juvie and multiple people apparently promised he’s not all talk when he threatens to beat the shit out of you, never discriminating between guys or girls. You’re pretty sure that this wasn’t what women fought for when they said feminism.

That alone begged the question if he was gonna make good on the promise to fuck you up last time you so much spoke to him. Thinking about it left your mouth dry.

There was also a reason as to why he’d managed to get out of trouble every goddamn time. That reason came in the shape of his adoptive daddy’s wealth and connections, which was a convenient ‘get out of jail free’ card and something normal people (you) couldn’t afford. A true show of society’s totally unbiased conduct towards the mighty upper class.

All of this useless information that now occupies your brain, only proved to you how much of a massive piece of shit the guy was.

It doesn’t matter what his past was like, you quickly decided. It also doesn’t matter if you can relate to the shitty overblown rumors that were circulating around him. Or that you shared similarities.

What really matters right now, is that he’s actively trying to jeopardize your perfect score sheet—and by extension, your scholarship—by not stepping up and contributing to the project.

He continued resting on his desk, scratching the top of his head and yawning while not paying you any mind.

You bit the skin off your lip anxiously, unable to wait and teach this entitled little asshole a fucking lesson for messing with you.

─────────

It was finally your group’s turn and all of you gathered in front of the lecture hall.

Well, all of you, save for Mr. Creep in the back corner of the room, who was still hunched over and scrolling on his phone indifferently.

If the rare upturned corners of your lips was something to go by, you were in for some serious mischief today.

The professor opens up with a brief introduction to your project, and your group finally starts presenting. It all goes well, except for the fact that despite your age, you have this incredible stage fright making you stutter pretty fucking badly for most of your speaking turn.

It gets worse the moment you realize that somewhere along the presentation, a pair of piercing red eyes began studying you incessantly. His sudden attention to you made your body sweat about three times the amount everyone else’s would combined. It was extremely jarring, in the worst sense.

You scoffed at thinking that he might as well have pinned you to the wall. Like he knew you were up to some bullshit. Like he could smell it.

Realistically you know there’s no way he could have possibly known, but the tiny guilty part of your lizard brain wasn't able to comprehend that right now.

That’s when you steeled your flimsy resolve and you tried to recover your composure as much as you could, doing your best to make-believe you were at his funeral instead and get to the end of your stupid speaking part.

You could tell you embarrassed your group mates with your awful public speaking skills, as their parts are much more animated, smoother and confident in comparison. But it didn’t particularly bother you aside from a slight hit to your ego, because you knew that the professor would read the documentation and ultimately see the amount of work you put into the written part of the project.

Your shitty teammates could glare at you all they wanted, but you did more than half the fucking project on your own and that would lead to one thing only—a great fucking score.

Who needed social skills—not that you were proud of any—when your future job will probably only require you to sit behind a screen most of the day—something that you’re already really fucking good at, to a detrimental point. It was a miracle that you made it so far in life without your vision getting much worse than it was.

“Very good,” the professor says.

He begins praising the sturdiness of the project, mentioning your name—making you cringe—and unfortunately pointing out the bumpy part—your bumpy part—of the presentation.

Overall, he was quite impressed with the quality and execution, and promised to email everyone their scores, once he’s done correcting them.

“However,” you heard him talk again, his following sentence filling you with extreme giddiness. “I seem to notice you’re missing a member of your group?” the professor trailed off with a furrowed brow as he stared at his notes. “I’m positive I’ve assigned everyone four people, but your project only mentions you three. Why is that?” he flips through his papers and checks his laptop as well for something akin to an error on his part.

“No, you’re correct, sir,” you chime in mischievously. “Mr. Shigaraki over there,” your speak up and your eyes meet his unexpectedly focused ones. His expression seemed to become almost intrigued at the prospect of your little scheme. He was sitting a little straighter than before. Listening.

As if this class finally became interesting to him, opposed to almost falling asleep in his chair earlier.

You clear your throat after feeling it contract with a pang of anxiety and continue, “—decided that we weren’t worth his precious time, and sadly did not contribute to our project whatsoever.” you end your sentence with a pout. “In fact, he dumped all of the work on us and didn’t even communicate. I—um, we thought it was for the best that he doesn’t free load on all of our weeks of hard work, sir.” you slip up, but promptly recover and you notice how the other two NPCs in your group stared at you in horror.

Despite lumping them in with you so you wouldn’t get in trouble, they did in fact not know or had any say in your decision to leave Shigaraki out—not that you cared to ask for their worthless opinion anyway. After all, they should be happy for the free full marks that you’re confident they wouldn’t have gotten without your help.

You wore a sly smile on your face.

Fuck him, his stupid face and his shitty attitude.

Checkmate, Shigaraki, you muse to yourself, smirking and gauging the reaction of the professor who seemed to be deep in thought for a moment.

When you looked back at Shigaraki to check how he’s faring, knowing you set him up—

You felt literal chills running down your spine.

He was simply smiling at you.

A wide, creepy and weirdly calculating smile.

A smile that told you, you’re in trouble.

Like a bucket of ice dropping over your head, you just grasped the mistake you’ve made. The reason why your classmates stared at you in disbelief. The reason while the whole room stared at you in disbelief.

He is a rich trust fund kid, whose background consists of only unpunished violence and nothing to lose. You, a lower class student, fucked with him knowing the horrible stories that circled around him. So why was it again that you didn’t believe he was capable of retaliating, even when you heard how most of the students avoided him like the plague? Did you think he would be as pathetic and powerless as you were?

Honestly, what the fuck were you thinking?

All alarms are going off in your useless excuse of a brain and you started feeling an immense amount of dread seeping into your bones.

You needed to take this back right fucking now or who knows what he’s going to—

“Alright. I see how it is,” the professor interrupts your train of thought, scratching his chin, “To be blunt with you, I’m considering disqualifying your group’s entire project, for the fact that the bunch of you made such a hasty decision and did not think of consulting with me first to solve the problem.” you hear the professor say, feeling your gut twist and your two classmates glaring at you.

“I will however opt to only cut your score by twenty percent, because it really is an outstanding project, but I expect this to serve as a reminder that I do not tolerate insubordination and this instance is not to be repeated by any of you.” The professor looked at you, then at Shigaraki himself. “Have I made myself understood?”

You felt shame burn in your cheek as you nodded at him, but the boy wasn’t listening anymore.

It was as if the rest of the world—save for the two of you—ceased to exist at that moment.