#henry was upset with him yes he tried to confront him yes but he could NEVER kick him out.

[razberrypuck]

rotating henry emily in my mind

[jamiesfootball]

What are your thoughts on Ted? Is it good he went home?

These are two separate answers but I'm gonna try to combine them into one thought bubble (bear with me).

My short answer regarding Ted's ending is that you can't create a fully fleshed out character for 2-3 seasons and then in the final hour decide he was Mary Poppins all along. The Mary Poppins is meant to be strange, not-quite of normal ilk. She's the static character who leads the change in others, the one who inspires. You don't usually see the inner thoughts and workings of a static character.

From the very first time the audience meets Ted, we understand that this is not a static character because he is literally one of our starting POVs. We see his uncertainty about flying across the globe to go teach a sport he doesn't understand. We see him turning to Beard for reassurance. We see him stick his hand out where it isn't wanted while he tries to find common ground with people in a new country. We see the beginnings of a panic attack at the press conference.

That is is episode one. He is not a static character. He is not a strange and unusual person impossible to understand. He is inspiring, yes, but that is because of his humanity- his kindness.

He is not a Mary Poppins.

Ted is at his most interesting when he is a complicated, struggling, but ultimately kind man who tries his best to show genuine empathy and compassion towards others. The fact that this same trait doubles as a flaw is equally intriguing.

Ted can reassure Sam that Jamie won't be coming back, or Ted can reach out to Jamie when he's struggling and ask him to come back. Both are acts of kindness. He can not do both.

Ted can show Rebecca empathy and understanding for her trying to sabotage Richmond, but it ties his hands on being honest to Jamie about why he was sent away in the first place.

In trying to balance kindness, Ted struggles to be direct. He struggles to come right out and tell people how he's feeling about situations. Despite encouraging other people to talk about their feelings, he dances around his own and avoids awkward confrontations. I think that is the flaw that Ted most needed to explore. At the same time, I hesitate to say he could have learned too much given how he was struggling to process his own trauma with his dad and how it effected his relationships with those around him. (Put a pin here, I'll be back for it in a later.)

Pivoting back to Ted's purpose in the narrative, unfortunately as the show ran through season three, it became too near-sighted on The Message and in turn lost sight of making sure the characters had fulfilling interactions with each other. This especially becomes apparent when it comes to Ted, whose motto in season one is 'be curious not judgemental.' I maintain that season three was a low point for Ted emotionally, and if I were to assign a reason in-universe as to why Ted seemed so off from his usual self, it would be that in his depression, he no longer had the energy to realize he wasn't being curious. One indication of this would be how many times Ted casts assumptions on people in season three, compared to his hey-do-you-think conversational openers from earlier seasons. Some examples would include:

-never trying to figure out what makes Zava tick (this is a big one to me. I think season one Ted would have been all over trying to crack Zava like a nut)

-assuming he already knows why Jamie is upset about Zava joining the team and brushing it off

-assuming that Dr Jacob would propose + assuming that Michelle would say yes instead of trying to ferret out whether

-his assumptions about Henry being bullied (the knee-jerk reaction as a parent to protect your kid is understandable, the lack of delving into the situation and why it happened are more what I mean here)

-his whole conversation with Jamie about his dad. Other people in more succinct words have pointed out how it feels like he fully projected what he needed to hear onto Jamie's situation, and I think that's fairly accurate. This was not a 'talk to me and tell me what's going on so I can better understand how i need to help you' conversation. This was a 'oh that's whats going on? how about you do this? that work? alright then' talk.

So the finale struts back around and Ted has made a decision. He's going home. And it's meant to feel like closure. They play the Cat Stevens song and it's supposed to feel like Ted has finally made a step in the right direction (which is certainly one take on those lyrics but I digress). He's going back home. He's going to be with his son. He's letting go of the damage his father leaving did to him. He's giving up on something and he's finally okay with that. He left Richmond better than he found it and that's what matters.

Everyone else can cry but he's not crying. He's finally with Henry again.

So here's my two cents. And this is definitely just my opinion but-

THAT'S FUCKING STUPID.

Because the only way that Henry OR Richmond exists is in a false dichotomy wherein the two cannot possibly coincide, despite the fact that there are MANY KIDS' SHOWS ABOUT CHILDREN MOVING TO NEW LOCATIONS EVEN NEW COUNTRIES because that is a NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE NORMAL WORLD ALL THE TIME.

Like holy shit that is. That is just the plot of a Disney channel show. 'My dad the football coach moved to england to coach the other football.' That is just the plot of a Disney channel original movie with a $300 budget that magically gets a sequel. Is that what I'm supposed to say 'oh no, that could never happen' over? Because I"m already watching a TV show. You can put a show in another show- I'm fine with that.

Remember that pin above? Time to pull it out. Because you know what would have been a more narratively satisfying conclusion?

If Ted had actually asked Henry and Michelle if they'd liked to move to London to be closer to him. If he had actually expressed his fucking need to have both his Kansas family and his Richmond family close to him. Maybe they would have said no, maybe they would have said yes, but you know what? It would have at least opened the door to the discussion about what Ted might need as a person moving forward, whichever way the chips fell. At least he would have done the one thing we didn't see him do all show:

Ask for something for himself. Because he wants it. Not for the good of his family, or the team, or anyone else. Just for Ted.

I am not saying his son isn't the most important thing in his life. I am saying as a goddamn adult person, you can NOT mold your life around your kids. You can't. Full stop. It is not healthy. You put your kid's needs above your own, but as a parent your needs have to come second. You have to take care of your own emotional health so that you have the bandwidth to give them support. You have to set the example of what healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself looks like.

Could Ted make new social connections back in Kansas? Well that's the thing isn't it- season one Ted could have. Easily. Season three Ted? The one who's checked out and looks tired all the time and isn't even following his own motto anymore and didn't even cry like he'd miss his friends when he was leaving? I'm not sure about that Ted. I'm worried about that Ted. I'm worried he's going to put himself in a situation where for the next 9 years of his life his only priority is going to be keeping Henry happy by giving Henry the attention he never got from his own father. And after that? Henry's an adult. Henry has to go live his own life.

And Henry's going to be able to tell, by the way, if his dad is struggling. Whatever Ted's emotional health is like, Henry is going to pick up on it. This isn't a one way road. Kids notice.

Ted untangled himself enough to admit that what he wants is to be close to Henry. I commend that. But then he decided that there was only one way to do that, and he didn't look any further than that. The narrative didn't look any further than that. For a show that itself raises the topic of mental health, it feels tone-deaf to pretend that Ted moving away from his entire support group is a happy ending. He doesn't even have Beard!

So to summarize: what do I think about Ted? I think he's a fascinating character. I think he has a genuine kindness to him that is rare. I think he is flawed, and a little bent up on the inside, and he's got a lot of issues to work through. And I think the show did him a disservice by painting him going back to Kansas as a sign that everything was going to be okay.

[henrysglock]

that anon is so real. looking at Will and going "are you tired of being nice? don't you just want to go ape shit?" is 1) the exact thing Henry Creel is thinking and probably going to Say to Will at some point and 2) going to get you a confused "no???" in return because getting revenge on the people who love him unconditionally but still fail to protect him and occasionally upset him greatly is the absolute anti-thesis of who Will is as a character.

because Will is DEFINED by his kindness and love. refusing to lie to Mike's face at his own disadvantage is the first thing we see his character do. apparently giving his toys away to random kids he doesn't know because they look sad, even though he won't get a replacement for it. not becoming popular in California and sticking with his sister who's being ostracized to support her. and, what still fucks me up, looking at Dart, the very embodiment of the horrible trauma he suffered in the UD, basically a baby-demogorgon, and the thing that fostered in his stomach like a parasite. and despite being Terrified of it, still quietly telling it that he's not going to hurt it.... because he could. he could just kill it honestly, it's still so tiny, can't fight back expect running. but that's obviously not even an option Will considers.

the same way young Henry Creel was so aware of death and curious to learn about it that it's obvious the most natural conclusion his character can come to is to catch and kill innocent and harmless rabbits out in the garden. it's also the most natural conclusion William Byers, who's been confronted with death and suffering So much, to look at a creature that would absolutely want to hurt him if it was big enough and still want to make sure it knows he poses no danger to it.

-> i want to see Will be an absolute badass who's finally in a position to kick ass as much as anyone here. but people who think he will hurt his Loved One's on a Villain Arc clearly have a completely skewed perception of his character.

Will is the character who started the story by choosing kindness above all else and it's building to end with him finally winning - defending both himself And the people he loves most With this kindness. Will's character doesn't need a breaking point where he realizes all the unjust things that happened to him and snaps, because he already knows it was wrong and unjust and he Still chooses to love and keep on loving regardless. and even looking past the conclusion his character arc is building too and instead looking at the greater story over all: a story that is supposed to have a "beautiful" ending will not include the most loving kid getting proven to him that all that love was misguided. that the world really DOES just want to hurt him and all the people around him don't care. that would be a DEVASTATING message for the show to end on, something you could explore in a drama or a tragedy. it could be an interesting conclusion for that genre. but that's not what ST is and it's also far from "beautiful". no. Will tried to choose unconditional love for everything around him since the beginning, he lost over and over again despite that. the finale of the show that stares him as a main character will end on him finally WINNING with that love for once and saving the day for good.

and again. generally, i LOVE villain arcs, seeing kind character lose it and finally stand up for themselves can be incredibly satisfying cinema. but not Will. it doesn't just NOT fit his character, it would actively harm his character arc. yes, some character arcs end in them tapping into all the spite and anger they have held in them for so long and finally standing up to the people they think wronged them, turning on the world, and burning the place down that couldn't accept them. that's true. but that character direction already Exists and it isn't Will. it's HENRY.

YOU FUCKING SAID IT ALL ANON YOURE SO ABSOLUTELY CORRECT

[shelbeetaylor]

Chapter Ten | Danse Macabre

-> story masterpost

-> previous chapter

Cassandra was stopped in the hall by a firm hand on her shoulder. A quick and agitated spin revealed the owner to be Theo who tried to hide his grimace at the sight of her. 

“What do you want, Theo?” The irritation had crept so far into her voice that every word now was coated in it.

“Oh, sorry. Do you have somewhere urgent to be?” 

The pity glazing over his eyes hadn’t left them since yesterday.

“Dance,” was Cassandra's concise reply.

“Oh… right…”

Cassandra turned to leave, but Theo cleared his throat instead of just saying he wanted to talk.

“Go ahead,” Cassandra added a nice, large gesture to show her annoyance. “Speak.”

“I- uh…”

She shook her head in silence, eyebrows raised as she waited for a coherent sentence.

“Ahem… Evie left in a hurry.”

“And?” It was the same impactful word from earlier, just much less smirk to accompany the displeasure.

Theo’s response was a drooping face of disappointment, a rare sight from him. Usually she’d be somewhat emotionally affected, but she too was in a rare mood. “You don’t think you were even a little harsh?”

Cassandra cursed under her breath before saying, “She interrupted an important discussion matter.”

“You mean she interrupted your dramatic takedown.”

“Didn’t we just have a massive argument? I’m getting deja vu.”

“You seriously don’t think anything you did was wrong?”

“No, sorry.” The apology was dispassionate, unlike the swirling in her stomach. “Maybe I’ve finally lost all sense of morality.” 

“Cass, Evie seemed really upset. I mean, you physically put her down in the middle of council. I’m sure that hurt her feelings.”

“Yes, because her feelings are clearly the most important matter when in council.”

Theo stepped back slightly, his shoulders dropping a little. “Don’t you care?”

“No.”

Theo looked almost as if he was repressing a shudder.

“If all you came to do was talk to me about her feelings, just let me go to my lesson.”

“Are you okay?”

Cassandra was a little taken aback by the sudden question. “You think I’m not?”

“In all honesty, no.” Theo seemed a little nervous as he confronted her. “No one ever said you were the most sane person in the first place, but you’re just… I know this isn’t all because of the king and Henri.”

Cassandra was at a loss for words, and instead she just shrugged. Theo’s jaw slid open only ever so slightly.

“I know you’re not prideful, not enough to get angry with your cousin in front of a room full of government officials.”

“Glad I have you to tell me what I’m like as if I didn’t know myself.”

“Is this because you’re not sleeping? Is that what’s making you like this?”

Cassandra's jaw tightened.

“I can see it in your face, Cass. How long have you been awake?”

“You act like it’s irregular for me to not sleep. I never sleep. This is common knowledge.”

“No, that is a joke. This is reality.”

“And now we can apparently add ‘psychosis’ to the list of things you think is wrong with me.”

“Cass–”

“Speak to me again when you’re ready to not criticize me for the way I run my court.”

Theo was left standing alone in the hallway.

“Maestro, if you please.”

The pianist sitting not too far away began playing a simple melody, just one to warm up to. Cassandra's arms moved in time from prep to first, opening to second. There was almost no thought to her execution of the rond de jambe pattern her instructor laid out for her. Her movement did not reflect the lack of concentration, instead her feet and legs moved perfectly in time with a controlled power.

The men wondered how she was able to do half the things she could on the battlefield, and this was it. Years and years of training. This was the one ladylike thing she did, the one thing her mother could actually be proud of her for doing. 

On the beat, Cassandra turned to execute the opposite side of the exercise.

Weekly lessons in ballet to appease her mother, but also because she grew to understand the power that was in dance. Every fiber of her being was constantly working, keeping her body in shape in a more beautiful way than the knights could ever care to try. That and this was her time to think, to drift away into the empty recesses of her mind and just be. Then, she’d take everything she had felt and throw herself into choreography. The lessons became one hour that she could never sacrifice.

The music slowed to a stop, and her arms finished in prep.

“Excellent.” Her instructor’s thick Valoran accent laced the words.

Mother wouldn’t have it any other way. The finest instructor only. Valoran was known to most as a kingdom with the highest quality in entertainment. Many young dancers aspired to move to the capital city of Bellesailles to audition for the world’s most critically acclaimed ballet company, and Cassandra's instructor just happened to be one of its former prima ballerinas.

“I was thinking we could take a break on the Giselle piece and instead try a new one.”

Cassandra had been previously working on the famous mad scene from the ballet, per her own request. She had seen it performed impeccably by a traveling ballet company when they passed through, and she felt a little inspired to try her hand at it.

Cassandra's instructor explained as she pulled out sheet music and handed it to the pianist, “Many years ago, I starred in an original ballet about a fiery missing princess traveling the world to find her way home. She was full of passion and fire, as well as pain and sadness. I shall teach you one of her final dances where the man who has been hunting her finally confronts her.”

It took an unusually long amount of time for Cassandra to learn the choreography. It wasn’t the individual moves themselves, it was the act of remembering the moves that troubled her. Her instructor had to take small steps– figuratively– with the choreography just so Cassandra could keep up, thick mental fog disabling any ability to recall dances.

She even found herself wandering as her instructor gave her the next moves in the combination, specifically her thinking about how much she aspired to be like her instructor. The instructor, though getting on in years, displayed the combinations as spritefully as she must have when she was first playing the role. The strength, the intensity, the emotion, all things Cassandra aspired to attain in her private dance career. The fluidity through each leap, kick, and turn powered by the toned muscles hidden beneath a feminine exterior, it was all she had in battle and all she wanted in dance.

The instructor took a brief moment after running the combination a couple of times before saying, “We may build on this combination more in the future, but for now I want to see what we have created. Maestro?”

The piano began on a steady beat, and Cassandra started off. The moves themselves were not difficult, especially since she had been doing them for several years but stringing them together proved more difficult than she anticipated. Between each insufficient leap and lost footing, Cassandra caught her instructor’s disapproving gleam. She soon signaled to the pianist to stop, and Cassandra followed suit.

“You are focusing too much on the moves,” the instructor said. “The point of this was to focus on your emotions. If you want to execute Giselle’s mad scene correctly, you must learn to harness emotions and let them out. I want you to take it again, but with feeling this time.”

Cassandra's jaw clenched as hard as possible, but she returned to her beginning mark. Her instructor watched carefully as Cassandra took up the beginning pose in b-plus.

“I want you to see the antagonist as you dance. Who is it?”

The rhetorical question invited tension into Cassandra's body. A myriad of people.

“Now, you are angry. This person has hurt you, and you want revenge… but you also want it to be over. How does that feel? What would you do? Show this to me through the movement.”

The instructor gave a nod to the pianist, signaling to start the piece.

Piano lilting softly underneath, Cassandra's mind lingered on the words her instructor had said. An antagonist? Oh, there were many. The names came to her each time she stepped, her arms gracefully arching over her head in an alternating pattern.

To begin, there was Theo. Yes, they argue like brother and sister constantly… but this one was new. Different. He had always been her right hand, a loyal knight and friend. Now, he challenged her authenticity, believed she was going insane or some sort of other logical explanation. He challenged her authority, taking the side of an outspoken child rather than standing by the future queen. 

Then there was Enoch. The Starvale pretty boy. Vale Serine’s leading playboy. Nevernia’s charisma connoisseur. The titles were endless. Cassandra never shied away from playful flirting between her and the knights as well as other friendly male faces. Enoch was different. He meant it. Well, there was never a time in which he didn’t mean it, but he meant it. The looks he’d give her. The concern for her wellbeing. The way he caught her earlier. Cassandra was also all for keeping up appearances, but it was physically painful. It would be easier to just fall in love with the man throwing himself at her, and it pissed her off that she just couldn’t.

A grand battement nearly threw Cassandra off balance as the music picked up. She didn’t notice the look on her instructor’s face, a mix of both growing concern and glowing pride.

She couldn’t handle General Valseras either. The man was a genius but a complete idiot, a statement meant in the most derogatory way possible. His strategic thinking knew no bounds, but the man couldn’t execute an attack to literally save his life. Cassandra and Theo, two people who were decades younger with significantly less military experience, had led more successful attacks than this man. Most of them involved parties of five or less fighting hordes of twenty men or more. Valseras had virtually the entire Nevernian army at his disposal against significantly outnumbered rebels, and he still managed to lose the most important battles in this war. Like Wystwillow.

Speaking of Wystwillow and Valeseras, the thought of her cousin tensed her muscles. Cassandra faltered in the middle of a pirouette.

Evie. Cassandra hated that she shared a name with such an immature little girl. Being a legal adult meant nothing if one didn’t act like it. She couldn’t even sit through a council meeting without spouting her outlandish opinions– now, this specific incident wasn’t as outlandish as the earlier outbursts had been full of, but the point remained. Cassandra was embarrassed by her, angered by her, and she was barely able to restrain herself in council. The world had no clue the fire in her, and Evie about got burned. She probably would soon.

The pianist struck a chord as Cassandra missed a landing, the music ramping up into the finale of the dance.

But the person at the top of her shit list… her mother. Queen Ginevra. People said she carried the strength of the Ravenwell women. People were wrong. Cassandra had known the history of her family for years. It was her history as well as her kingdom’s history. Somehow people forget that her mother married into the Ravenwells and had no blood relation to those legendary women. Her mother had no right to claim the Ravenwell strength for many reasons.

She was the one who continued the persecution of magic wielders that was started by Cassandra's grandfather. She was the one who encouraged the former king to wrap himself up in these endless wars with other nations. She was the one who convinced Cassandra's father to walk into the battle against the southern rebellion that got him killed. She was the one who murdered innocent people like her own daughter for the people they loved. She was the one who valued her orphaned niece over her own daughter who had risked life and limb to fight for justice and freedom, the basic founding principles of Nevernia.

Her mother deserved nothing.

In the middle of a fouette, Cassandra's ankle sickled, and her leg began to collapse. The fear in her instructor’s eyes was very real as she watched her pupil fall, but Cassandra could barely see through her vision that was distorted by dizziness and exhaustion. Her depth perception was very clearly out of whack as the room’s length and width was changing consistently, and her coordination was also completely sabotaged. It was the fading pain in her ankle that brought her mostly out of it, though a slight throbbing remained.

As a servant, Gena should have knocked every time she went to enter a noble’s room. As a person, Gena only cared about the rules when she knew the noble on the other side of the door cared about them. Evie, as had been displayed the past few days, cared little if at all for the social constructs the castle lived by. It was probably a good thing too that Gena burst into the room.

She found the young princess crying on her bed, laying in a lazy fetal position and hugging a small pillow. Evie didn’t move as Gena approached the sobbing princess.

“Go away.”

“That is not happening, whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t care. Go away, please.”

Gena chuckled as softly as possible. “You know, you sound a lot like Cassandra when she’s upset. Except you’re much nicer. She never says please.”

Evie found no amusement in this. “I don’t wanna talk about her.”

Gena sighed, gazing at the princess, and sat down on the edge of the bed. She leaned back as she spoke, “You know I’ve found that it really does feel better to talk.”

“Does it?” Evie tried sounding skeptical, but curiousness creeped into her voice.

“Definitely. You don’t even have to put in effort to fix it. You just–” and she grandly gestured with her hands as she continued– “let it all out.”

Gena let the thought sit with Evie for a moment, waiting for her to speak.

“Council sucked,” Evie finally said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

There was another moment of silence, and Gena was really trying not to smile because this was not a funny matter at all. It was just… in an odd way, it was cute.

“It’s just that she didn’t have to treat me like that. She agreed with me too, but she still treated me like that. I just… I don’t know. It’s like my opinions don’t matter.” Evie hesitated for a moment. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

“Why’s that?”

Evie hugged her pillow a little tighter. “I don’t belong. I’m just a burden.”

Gena sighed through her nose and placed her hand on Evie’s nearby leg, gently stroking with her thumb in an attempt to calm the princess. “Listen, Cassandra is not the nicest person at first, but she really does have a good heart.”

Evie shifted slightly as her only response.

“And I’ll bet that she’s probably jealous of you…”

“Really? Why would Cassandra be jealous of me?”

“Because you’re happy,” Gena smiled, trying to add an almost joking lilt to her voice. “And because you don’t conform to her standards.”

Evie tried to hide the smile growing on her face. “That doesn’t give her a reason to be mean.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Gena shrugged and stood up to face the princess. “You and Theo still have time to go to the gardens, if you wish.”

Evie perked up.

“I’d go fetch him now, though,” Gena advised.

“Where can I find him?”

To the untrained ear, the noise coming from the armory would sound like a pack of wild animals, or perhaps a poorly executed enemy invasion. In all actuality, it was just Theo and his knights being… well, Theo and his knights. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that these were the same men that headed the most honorable order that was envied by the world.

“That was funny!” Enoch said.

“No, it wasn’t,” Josiah replied without hesitation.

“Actually, it’s hilarious– I’m hilarious. You all just have no sense of humor.”

“Maybe it’s because you never stop talking,” Bastien interjected, eliciting laughter from the rest of the group.

Enoch sighed, shoulders slumping a little. It was at that moment that Ivor put his massive golden hands on Enoch’s shoulders as he stood behind him. Ivor, being taller than every one of the knights, rested his chin on Enoch’s head.

“I think you’re funny,” Ivor admitted, his defined jawline rippling as his face displayed a smile. 

Enoch threw out his hands, trying to move his head a little as possible. “At least someone still has faith in me.”

“Barely,” Theo chuckled as he began removing his armor.

Bastien, who had stipped down to his underclothes faster than the rest of them, headed to his locker on the other side of the armory. Godfrey was about to join him after hanging up his armor and weapons, and everyone else was taking their sweet old time removing their armor. Theo observed them all from his seat upon the bench as he himself unwinded from the training session.

Josiah ran an umber hand over his velvet black hair whose curls were cut close to his scalp, his similarly colored eyes noted droplets of sweat that stuck to his fingers. Josiah was the runt of the pack, a wiry little thing of common blood. Despite his small frame, he was hardy and defined, but above all his hard work and proficiency with a battle ax earned the boy from the middle class Milmore family a spot in the knighthood. Josiah wiped the sweat off with a towel and asked in his usual somber husk, “Hey, Theo, you decided who’s going to the war council tomorrow?”

“Yes, I need to know if I actually have to wake up tomorrow,” Enoch chuckled as he threw his gauntlets onto the bench, Ivor still impeding his ability to undress. Theo could spot the glinting of his necklace underneath his halberk, the silver charm displaying the crest of the noble Starvale family.

“I have in fact decided that I will be taking Bastien and Godfrey with me,” Theo responded as he gently set his halberk on the bench.

“Fantastic,” Enoch replied.

“Great,” Josiah smiled, then trailed off as he saw Theo's raised eyebrows. “I mean… damn… sad I’ll be missing it…”

Enoch chucked a glove at Josiah which hit the knight in the face and caused an uproar of laughter. Through his own howling, Theo watched the Herculean Ivor rustle Enoch’s windswept hair out of its near-perfect condition. The simple gesture was gentle, something the burly knight cared about a lot. Theo had seen with his own eyes the violence Ivor inflicted not just with his sword but with his bare hands. Ivor seemed to be more a gentle giant with his breathy, quiet bass of a voice and his bright smile, but his eyes were as blue as bruises and his short hair blonde as ash. It was, at the same time, horrifying and heartwarming.

It was even more so when one knew where he came from. Ivor never discussed it much if at all, but Theo had made it his business to know when he was recruiting him. The knight was of the most humbling background, coming from next to nothing. Ivor still refrained from discussing exactly where he hailed from, but offered to Theo the knowledge that he fought tooth and nail to work his way into the grimy, bone-chilling underground fighting rings of Serine’s Hope, one of the outermost districts of Vale Serine. Theo, and the rest of the knights too, respected the boundaries set forth, but one couldn’t help wondering what made him change his surname to Fontiaq.

“Alright, alright!” Bastien called from his locker. “Who’s the fucker who thought this was funny?”

It was a few moments before Bastien rounded the corner for the big reveal. In his hands he held up one of Cassandra’s dresses, sending the men back into a howling fit. Theo was on the verge of tears, rendering him unable to make any hilarious comments. The rugged knight’s stubble twisted into a scowl, his blue gray eyes looking upon the knights with disappointment. 

Enoch, wiping tears from his face, managed to spit out, “Got yourself a fancy ball to get to, Bast?”

“You best be back before midnight,” Josiah cackled. “No prince wants to kiss a knight in armor!”

“Ha ha, hilarious,” Bastien’s voice remained calm with his usual gruffness mixed in. “Seriously, where’re my clothes, guys?”

The only response was continued laughter. Bastien, in turn, let out a heavy sigh as he ran his free hand through his long, almond brown curls. While the rest of the group was still incapacitated with laughter, Godfrey popped his head around the corner and said, “No worries, friend. I’ll help you look.”

Bastien nodded his head in silent thanks and said to the rest of them, “I want you all to know you suck and can fuck off.”

“Don’t be like that!” Enoch called after him. “It’s only a joke, mate.”

“I feel like since I’ve been banned from participating in pranks, I should not be the target of them anymore. It’s not fun.”

It was true, the knight had been removed from the running due to an absolutely masterminded plan that ended in disaster. It had simply been referred to as the Great Prank since  the queen had not so subtly forbidden them from speaking about it. The mass destruction it caused was both epic and concerning, and ultimately proved that Bastien’s genius was too dangerous to be allowed to ever pull a prank again.

“Sorry, mate,” Enoch replied. “Everyone’s fair game, you know the rules.”

Bastien shook his head in defeat, and walked back to his locker. As soon as he was out of sight, the four remaining looked at each other to silently ask who pulled the prank. Josiah smiled sheepishly, his way of claiming responsibility. Ah, quiet but dangerous that one was.

Stifling his laughter, Theo grabbed the armor laying on the bench next to him and crossed over to the lockers so he could change. The lockers sat behind a few rows of weapons displays– the final display being a collection of hunting spears– and there one could find Bastien and Godfrey bustling about. Theo watched out of the corner of his eye as Bastien tried hanging up Cassandra’s dress on the spears without tearing it. Godfrey, the sensible one, simply muttered a “give it here” and took the dress into his hands.

Godfrey was different from the rest of the crew in many ways. It was not his looks per se, but the way he acted, the way he carried himself, even the way he fought. The heavy accent plaguing his speech hailed from his origins in the Mariposa Archipelago, one of the smallest kingdoms in Elysium as it was just a small collection of islands. Despite the slander, rumors, and all around negative talk of Mariposa, Godfrey never once shied away from the place he was born and raised. He was proud to come from the Archipelago, and he often claimed his talents were forged from the fires of his homeland.

Bastien frantically rifled through his locker, then the others as well, but to no avail. Godfrey took his time, handling the dress with gentle care. Of course, he knew if he did otherwise then tragedy would befall him. Even the slightest tear and Cass would make good on her promise to slowly and painfully dismember anyone who ruined her clothes, and the physician’s apprentice was practically threatened into helping  in the coverup.

In the few times Theo had extensively interacted with Terran, he’d actually said some pretty comical things about the knights. As Terran said, Godfrey looked like he was ‘a mound of terra cotta finely sculpted by the gods into a glorious being of pure muscle.’ Theo may not have been attracted to men, but he couldn’t disagree with the statement either— what with Godfrey’s luscious midnight waves slicked cleanly back and his tender, smokey black eyes. Though Enoch was often labeled the most attractive due to his charming personality, he and Godfrey were constantly contending for the title as far as looks went. And it was especially fun when the knights had Terran debating the argument.

In any case, Theo watched how the knight tenderly handled his princess’s dress, calmly suggesting places that Bastien should search for his clothes. Whether it was his warm baritone voice or his serene disposition to the whole situation, Bastien’s franticness began to ramp down, his searching becoming less hurried and more efficient… until the three knights left behind began hysterically cackling like a band of hyenas. The three by the lockers all poked their heads around the displays only to find Bastien’s clothes being tossed around like children’s playthings. Bastien’s anxiety immediately spiked and he jumped in the middle trying to snag his clothes out of the air, despite the discouragement of Godfrey who could only stand there holding Cass’s dress. Theo couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter again at the sight of the knights playing monkey in the middle with Bastien’s clothes, the hilarity bringing the knight commander to tears.

As insane and chaotic as this group was, this hodgepodge collection of men was Theo's safe space. They trusted each other with their lives everyday. No secrets, no worries, no judgment. There were, of course, boundaries as with any relationship, but there was little that the knights didn’t share with each other. They were his best friends— his brothers— and a far better family than the one Theo left behind. So he laughed, he felt true joy, and he enjoyed every little moment with them. They lived as if each day was their last, and they knew better than anyone that it very well could be.

Through his tears, Theo saw a flash of pink and it drew all his attention away from the chaotic knights. The rest of the knights fell into silence as well when they heard Theo's laughter stop, curiously peeking over their shoulders to see what ceased the howling fit.

“Hey, Evie,” Theo said, quickly wiping away his tears. “Uh, what do you need?”

Evie stood there innocently, glancing between each of the knights before responding.

“I want to go to the gardens.”

-> next chapter

[7-deadly-simpin]

Could I get the brothers reactions to if mc fought a noble, just a demon that's pretty close to their rank? How would they go about getting mc away from them and then reprimanding the demon?

Yes, of course! I wasn't sure if you wanted them as a group or to each their own, so I gave them each a spotlight. Enjoy! (Also may have gone a little overboard with Satan...oop)

Demon Brothers React to MC Fighting a Noble-Status Demon

Lucifer

Absolutely livid.

A little surprised that you had the gaul to scream at another demon of that rank.

Mc...seriously?

Why would you EVER put yourself in such a position?

Remember how he & his brothers have tried to kill you before???

Belphie SUCCEEDED

Doesn’t care what the fight is about, he holds you to much higher standards.

Will get in between you both in an instant and transform.

You are LUCKY only words had been exchanged at that point.

If you had been hurt, even he is not sure what he would have done.

Gives you a glare that shakes you to your very core, but not as bad as the demon who even DARED to lay a hand on you.

Demon receives a lecture that could probably bore him to death, but they aren’t that lucky.

Don’t get it twisted, the demon will be tortured, but it happens while Lucifer paces back and forth telling them absolutely everything they did wrong.

The eldest is too prideful to allow some demon to hurt MC, regardless of who they think they are.

Mammon

This demon surprisingly likes to avoid confrontation as much as possible.

(seriously, how often do we actually see him in demon form other than events at the Demon Lord’s Castle?)

He’s also a bit curious as to WHY you would raise your voice at a demon of that status?

Sure you yell at him and his brothers here and there, but to be fair, even Mammon knows they all mess up sometimes.

Ripped awake from his thought the literal second he sees this ‘hoity toity’ demon try and hit you.

He wants to destroy the demon, he really does, but MC is top priority.

Being the fastest of his brothers, except Lucifer, he whisks MC away before the demon can even finish blinking.

His mind is racing a mile a minute and he accidently yells “ARE YOU FUCKING DEAD?!” instead of “Are you okay?” or telling the noble demon “You’re dead!”

He doesn’t care about anything other than your safety and will fly to the House of Lamentation immediately.

Very protective over MC and refuses to let the other brothers touch them.

If anyone is mad, he will take full blame for the situation. He doesn’t care, you being safe is all that matters to him.

Levi

Is more shocked than anything that you’re standing up to a demon of equivalent reputation to him.

Becomes visibly distressed when you try and HIT that same demon.

Are you INSANE?! I mean, maybe a little since you seem to handle him and his brothers no problem, but…this was a completely different circumstance.

That demon had no obligation to protect you, let alone let you live.

The high status demon growls low and Levi knows it's only a matter of time before this demon tears you to shreds.

Levi musters up all his courage, you better appreciate this, to talk down this normie demon from hurting you.

The demon chuckles in his face. Oh…

And then the demon grabs you by your neck. You struggle, but quickly stop as something more frightening catches your attention.

Levi, standing in demon form who in the scuffle SUMMONED LOTAN.

Has Lotan deal with the disrespectful demon while he grabs you and rushes you to safety.

Could care less if he gets in trouble right now, he just saved his best friend, his Henry.

Satan

You just bitch slapped a demon with the same status as him and his brothers!

Not that he’s surprised, you’ve had to knock some sense into each of them from time to time.

IMPRESSED AS HELL though, might be slightly turned on.

Becomes immediately aggravated when he sees the demon retaliate. You fall to the floor and Satan is on the brink of losing it.

He plans to have words with the degenerate...but then you turn to him. Blood trickling down your head.

This man cannot, and WILL NOT contain his anger any longer. MC is hurt and Satan is going to make the demon wish they were dead.

MC basically has to group video call everyone for help because Satan is in a full on brawl with this demon.

You’ve never heard such demonic growls and snarls in your life, it actually scares you.

There is a circle around them chanting “fight, fight, fight!”

The brothers rush over. Belphie and Mammon are on crowd control.  Asmo and Levi are making sure you’re okay. Meanwhile Lucifer and Beel are holding back Satan from throwing another punch.

The thing is, they understand his anger. They aren’t all that upset with him. Just worried about you both.

Lucifer and Mammon will have to straighten things out. Mammon isn't the best with his words but he loves his brothers and will do what he has to in order to see that Satan receives a very mild punishment at best.

Asmo

Initially upset because he thought the high rank demon was trying to hit on you.

If anyone was going to hit on MC and succeed, surely it would be the marvelous Asmodeus.

A quick scan over of body language and he knows his initial hypothesis was dead wrong.

This demon looks aggravated and has their hands balled up into a fist.

Queue the most disgusted yelp you have ever heard leave Asmos lips.

Who in the Devildom does this demon think they are?!

Don’t you dare even look at Asmos precious MC the wrong way!

Struts his beautiful self next to you. If he can’t stop you from fighting, he will be the baddest B back up.

The only one to place an arm around your shoulder to try and bring you back to reality as he talks down to the pathetic demon who even had a thought of injuring you.

Sees you return to your senses and look grateful for him stepping in before things get worse. Living with a bunch of demons on the daily can make a human feel more powerful than they are after all.

He will use his charm on the demon to get them to forget they were even upset with you.

Makes sure to take you back home and ask if you’d like a face mask or any relaxing bath bombs.

Beel

He isn’t quite sure what happened, but Beel can clearly see you are beyond frustrated with the demon in front of you.

He knows MC can be feisty with him and his brothers, he doesn’t mind, you’re family after all.

But this was some strong demon you decided to pick a fight with.

He notices the Demon losing its patience as well. He needs to get you out and fast.

He won’t let his family get hurt ever again, he WILL NOT let what happened to Lilith happen to you.

Now, Beel is normally pretty self conscious about his size, he doesn’t like looking as intimidating as he does...but you’re in trouble, he will use everything he can to his advantage to keep you safe.

Quickly places himself in front of MC and tries to speak to the demon.

The demon was so focused on you, it wasn’t until they PUNCHED Beel that they realized what happened.

Beel doesn’t care, he barely felt it. For a high rank demon, he sure is weak by comparison.

However, Beel is VERY aware that punch was meant for you. He will not let this go unpunished.

The demon looks up at Beel who easily towers over them and begins to slowly back away, apologizing profusely.

Beel contacts his brothers in front of the now frightened Demon. He doesn’t mind them handling it, he’s focused on making sure you aren’t shaken up.

Plus that weak punch really just made him hungry.

Belphie

He fell asleep in class….again.

Which MC should be really thankful for this time.

He wakes up to the scene of you slapping away the hand of a reputable demon.

Unsure of what is going on, but already on alert Belphie watching from afar, to see how the situation plays out.

Belphie is good at reading body language, and notices MCs' small huff and how they hold themselves when the demon talks down to them.

Seeing you clearly uncomfortable, he makes his way over to you.

No one should ever make you feel anything like that, especially not some random demon.

Belphie will slouch on you and pretend the demon is of no importance. He doesn’t give a damn about status.

Interrupting the demon may have not been the best choice of action as they become agitated at the new annoyance in front of them.

Belphie turns with his signature glare and suddenly the demon recognizes the youngest of the brothers.

A demon of his status is aware of Belphie and his feelings towards any authority figure.

Any demon crazy enough to want to go toe to toe with the future demon king is too much of a hassle to deal with anyways.

Also, what kind of crazed demon would try and mess with the baby of an entire family of powerful demons?

You both end up back at the House of Lamentation and Belphie expects head pats for his rescue.

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Travis-centered plots because I Like fix it’s… (I just finished typing them all, I’m ashamed for my sinful brain oml)

- Larry and Travis having once been friends but being torn apart by Travis’ father. Larry keeping an eye on Travis for years but then turning his attention to Sal, whom in turn receives the sudden disdain of Travis.

Sal confronts Travis in the bathrooms one day and Larry listens from the door. Eventually Sal talks Travis into tears. He confesses to being jealous of Sal and not wanting Larry to stop focusing on him, even if Larry ends up hating him. How his dad would beat him if Travis and Larry ever got close again. Larry barges in and holds Travis close. They reconcile (Sal opting to let the boys talk, clearly not in the mood to see Enemies to Lovers tonguing den in the school bathroom.

They uproot and destroy the cult, blah blah blah, Happily ever after and Travis gets help for his trauma induced depression and anxiety.

- Travis has been off for a few days. He doesn’t antagonize anyone. Philip does more talking and ginger touching that Travis violently jerks away from. During class he barely responds and teachers don’t try to force him. Sal didn’t expect to find Travis sleeping on a bench one day. His worn shoes now tattered with holes at the bottom. His black eye prominent but accompanied by a busted lip and what looked to be severe damage to his legs.

Not sure how he did it, but Sal managed to convince Travis to come home with him. Introduces Travis to Henry and leads him to the bathroom where he washed off and got treated. His damage was severe and Sal really wanted to call the police but just seeing a fearful Travis weened him off the idea.

Larry was not too pleased to find Travis at Sals. He almost yelled until he noted Travis look at his raised hand and cower from him. Larry pausing and pulls Sal to the side to understand. Of course they don’t know the full story but it’s enough to have Larry texting the group for help. Most were curious about what could lead them to wanting to help Travis. Ash, however, seemed to know a lot.

They find out about Travis’ abuse, the cult. Travis helps a little. He is still terrified of them but they start to grow on him with time. He even allows contact with Sal rarely, who shows him his face during a bonding moment at the dead of night. Larry makes playlists and CDs to help Travis get accustomed to loud noises (many of which are songs Larry personally thinks Travis would enjoy.

After the gang destroys and puts the cult behind bars. No demons, no murders, and no dead friends. Sal manages to convince Travis to report his father, thankfully they kept his clothes to give to the state police, Todd refused to trust the local police after further investigating the cult and their connections.

Healing and coping, cuddling and coddling. Travis getting the love and attention he deserves! Could end with him dating someone or him just being under their care for a while.

—Salvis but Sal is a bit more aggressive with Travis. Fuck it ABO, Travis is a very spicy omega that pretends to be a Beta. Sal is a strong scented alpha, like it’s a musky and domineering scent compared to his appearance. Larry is an alpha, though his scent is murky and smoky, and he doesn’t act like the stereotypical alpha. Travis nitpicks them like usual, though sometimes they are too distracted by the nice smell seeping off of him. Larry sneers and asks if Travis mom scented him before school. Travis is upset at this. Much more emotional than usual. Sal notes the spike in scent and jabs Larry.

Uh oh, Travis is presenting in the bathroom, and beta Philip isn’t able to fight off the alphas coming to investigate the scent, thankfully Sal is here to soothe and calm the terrified Travis while his friends help fend off the other students.

Mr. Phelps is pissed about an omega son. Travis is constantly scented with distress. He isn’t allowed to talk about it but everyone can smell it. They are well aware of Travis’ fluctuating weight, fatigue and his tan skin turning pale and bruised worse than before. Larry is annoyed by this but can’t tell whether it’s the scent affecting him or his stern belief in protecting omegas from abusive alphas.

Sal hates it, he knows he felt the mate bond but Travis doesn’t seem to notice. Travis’ suffering eats away at Sal until he all but corners Travis and propositions him to save him from his father and give him sanctuary. It takes a lot to convince Travis. Heck, he has to promise Larry wouldnt hurt him (Larry later seeks Travis to reconcile their bad blood).

They get to know eachother. Sal is head over heels and watching Travis grow and blossom into his omega blood. Travis starts falling for someone else and Sal tries to be supportive (until he can’t even look at Travis without feeling heartache). But Travis notes he doesn’t love ____ And follows his heart to Sal. They bond, they love and boom, happy little family. (With three cute babies because Travis and Sal deserve happy families)

Larvis: roughly the same as the salvos ABO but Larry straight up picks up Travis and carries him home. Travis tries to fight but is swaddled and pampered until he’s fast asleep and purring in Larry’s arms.

Mr. Phelps doesn’t have much ground to stand on when he tries to take Travis back. Larry confirming that Travis is his mate and based off of Phelps’ beliefs he should reside with his mate.

Travis is surprised his father backs off so easily (because how could the pastor refute what he preaches?? Such blasphemy would be heard by the church blah blah blah). Larry and Travis talk and Larry admits that they are indeed mates, he never brought it up for Travis’ health. He was already struggling to care for himself, a mating bond would send his already feeble body and fragile mind spiraling. Larry also admits he knew they were mates ever since he presented, which wasn’t that long after entering highschool. But, Travis was so proud to be ‘normal’ and not some horny mess like the others. He also didn’t like seeing Travis harass and bully others, which probably aided in his aggressive rejection of the omega and prolonged Travis’ presentation.

Life goes on and Larry and Travis are happily married with four kids (two more in the oven, because Larry is a very affectionate husband). Cult was handled and Sal is NOT dead and very much the worlds best uncle.

-Travis having a hot girl summer.

That’s it. That’s the plot.

Thotty church twink marching about in short shorts and tank tops (sinful!) showing off his goodies to the masses. Larry shamelessly offers to partake, and gets thrown for a whirlwind when Travis’ phat ass is delightfully uncontrollable. Sal jokingly shoots his shot and winds up slumped in the back of the church from immaculate head.

Mr. Phelps is away so the thot is out to play. (Courtesy of Mama Phelps aiding and abetting her sons growth as a person. He may be throwing it back to the boys he once sneered at but at least he’s nicer to people)

-Travis being rescued from the Phelps home after a concerned report to the state police. The church closed and his father put behind bars for many accounts of child abuse and neglect and the disappearance of Travis’ mother.

Sal and gang are curious about what the new home will do to Travis after months of rehabilitation, and all damn near faint when they see Travis with long pink hair and a cute sun dress marching into the school. Directly towards them and apologizing for his horrible treatment of them, specifically Sal. They can’t believe his change at first but after weeks of watching him, he seems genuinely happier.

This new happiness starts to get unsettling to Larry, who watches Travis and Philip be closer than before. He shouldn’t care he hates Travis! But god he wished the boy would wrap his arms around his and march down the halls. He would kill to get surprise back hugs or do the hugging. He wanted to share lunch with Travis. Be hand fed meals and have his mouth cleaned whilst being scolded.

Fuck, he’s in love! He thought he nipped that in the bud when Sal started getting bullied by Travis. But no, Travis being rescued from his awful father and being a genuinely good person from then on was astounding. Hell, he even brought Sal treats as an apology for walking in on him with his mask off once. Sal said it was fine but Travis babbled ok about feeling bad because Sal looked terrified even though Travis didn’t think Sal was any less cool. (Yes, Sal cried in his room about how much it meant for someone to say that).

For fucks sake, Travis had pictures upon pictures of his new family and their pets. PETS. He had dooogs, god Larry lost his mind seeing Travis jogging around town with dogs in shorts and a sweaty, almost see through tank top!! He’s too gay for this.

He finally confesses, maybe tries to play it off as a joke, but Travis just smiles sweetly and pecks his cheek. He’s sorry but he’s already dating someone. Larry tries not to let his disappointment show, but he just can’t feel the need to go to school for a couple of days. Hides out in his tree house and just smokes. Cause, cmon.. who’d wanna date him?? All he does is smoke and play around! He hasn’t had a stable relationship in years and most he’s known for is sleeping with whoever he deems the hottest.

Sal notices his behavior and tries to comfort him, not sure why Larry is like this, by offering to introduce him to his partner. Maybe they have a friend Larry is interested in. Larry wants to be supportive but he really doesn’t care to see Sals new beau(ty). He really just wanted to camp out in the tree house and smoke away the pain. Or, he did until he sees Travis and Sal holding hands and nuzzling on the couch one day. Sals legs on Travis’ and Travis combing Sals hair. Larry felt like his world came crashing down, his best friend?? And his first and worst crush?? The crush that sent him spiraling for what could have been weeks? Sal is innocent, he didn’t know that Larry was madly in love with Travis. Didn’t know that Travis so politely rejected him and offered to cease contact if Larry felt he couldn’t be around him.

Larry wasn’t much of a romantic after that. He played around with whoever he felt needed love. His partying spiraling out of control in adult hood. Travis tried to contact him and help him find a good person, but any attempts to help Larry ended with Larry crying to him drunkenly. Asking why he wasn’t good enough, why he couldn’t have been Sal. Travis wasn’t allowed near Larry after Larry drunkenly made advances at him, he doesn’t blame Larry he’s extremely emotional, but Sal felt Larry would only get worse the more they stayed in contact, so they were kept apart.

Larry never loved anyone as much as he loved Travis Fisher.

-Last one was a sadder Onesided Larvis, this one is Larry teasing and cornering Travis so much that Travis tries to shock him by kissing him. He came home with some hickies and a very prominent limp.

They’re not saying, yet, but Wingman Sal is politely judging Travis into Larry’s arms. They are constantly alone together. Larry blowing Travis’ back out in an abandoned amusement park when the others split up to explore. “He sprained his ankle running from a shadow” Hmph, Travis smelt like axe. He HATES the smell of axe… but okay lovebirds.

Sal has 100% walked in on the secret lovers getting frisky when moms out. Later helps Travis shop for more pretty clothes, because who wouldn’t want a shopping body??? That’s almost illegal to not take the opportunity.

Larry eats ass. A lot. Travis can literally be on FaceTime shopping with Sal and Larry just slips under the covers and enjoys his fill of boyfriend cheekies~ yum!

Travis, as revenge, will give the gawk gawk 9000. Larry is NOT safe if he thinks Travis has forgotten the embarrassment of Sal chuckling and telling him he has to go walk his homework. He could be on the phone with his boss or Lisa and Travis will give the sloppiest top he’s ever had. (Praise the son for horni bratty bottoms)

[bindi-the-skunk]

The disturbing part of this and the reason why it seems like Jekyll’s face is like that in the panel is because what does it sound like when you’re willing to die?

Suicide, yes that’s right it seems The Lodgers doing this is bringing up some very bad memories

Well it has not been confirmed that the character has attempted suicide the glaring looks that he gets in the one panel and the words “why won’t you help me” do seem to lend themselves towards this interpretation

Because he could’ve very well felt look down upon by other people for his depression when he wanted/needed help from them but they didn’t give it when he needed it and therefore that is what created Hyde Because that is the only out he felt he had other than that… Other one

This could also be an issue in the second page as he accidentally reveals his depression ,and possible attempted suicide, he rips into the lodgers telling them that they should not try to die as he managed to not do so, they do not have his issues, so they should not even be trying to take such drastic actions,especially not to try to impress somebody else

It will be very upsetting if the lodgers choose to take Frankenstein’s side or a Frankenstein catches onto Jekyll’s depression, and tries to use that against him

As we have seen time and time again that this woman is very morally bankrupt and will be willing to use any means to get back at the one she feels went to far with her despite the fact that she has continuously hurt him, and may in fact try and physically hurt him very much like how she did so meeting him for the first time punching Henry in the face.

And should Henry strike her back in self-defense the lodgers will immediately turn against him even more even when he struck back in defense of his own well-being, or even if he chooses to simply shove her away and somehow manages to knock her down either because she loses her footing or intentionally lets herself fall to make him look worse

Or this could actually be the chapter where Jekyll transforms into Hyde for the very first time without his iconic potion, And his secret is let out at last, but this is a very Unlikely outcome because we still have More of the comic to go though.

The cover art with the cabin does loan itself to the fact that he may be forced to run away for some reason, either because he manages to hurt Frankenstein severely and runs off or because he is kicked out by the lodgers for arguing with her and trying to “control everything” And the lodgers being under the naïve assumption that they can take care of the society on their own without his assistance, And Jekyll Goes to the cabin in some attempt to un-create Hyde out of misplaced anger and blame or just a spot to hide out because he feels too embarrassed to go ask to stay with Lanyon especially after their last official meeting involved violence

And Lanyon will find him at the cabin and this will end up heading into the situation similar to the book where they have a falling out though unlike the book it won’t last as the situation is different and the aforementioned love they have for each other, This could also be an interesting twist on the original ending where Jekyll flees with Frankenstein from the city after being chased out but instead he ends up leaving with Lanyon and they end up running off together to do other adventures, As Frankenstein would need to Undergo severe character rehab in order for that ending to be a possibility

And this will lead to another book reference when Lanyon’s father ends up dying because he hears the news that his son ran off with another man or he witnesses a transformation when confronting the two.

[angelsfalling16]

Love You So Much It Hurts

My first ever FirstPrince fic! It was a little rushed, but I hope you all like it!

Summary: Henry is finding it difficult to keep his feelings hidden for any longer, and when Alex confronts him to find out why he's acting so weird, the truth comes out.

Word Count: 2333

Day 1 of Tropetember: friends to lovers au

Read it on ao3

***

Henry has just about had enough. Alex is extremely infuriating, and it’s going to push him over the drink. Drive him into complete insanity and an early grave. Somehow, Alex is oblivious to all of this.

They’re supposed to be studying for midterms next week, but instead, they’re sprawled out across Alex’s bed as he drones on about one of his classes and some kid in the class who is always trying to outdo him. Usually, Henry wouldn’t mind listening to him and would be actively trying to engage with him in the conversation, but today, he’s too busy trying to focus on making sure his heart doesn’t beat out of his chest.

“Hey, are you alright?” Alex asks abruptly, apparently sensing that Henry hasn’t been paying attention to him for the past few minutes.

“Yeah. I think I’m just tired.”

“Then, take a nap,” he suggests. “You look cozy enough in my bed, and I don’t mind.” The offer shouldn’t be weird, but it does weird things to Henry’s chest. It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened.

Neither of them have ever had the best sleep schedules, so they took naps when and where they could, including in each other’s beds. And yes, that occasionally meant waking up with their arms around each other because there wasn’t quite enough space for them to spread out comfortably.

It wasn’t something they ever really talked about. It was just something they did. Even after Henry came out to Alex during his junior year of high school. Alex made sure that he knew they were still friends and that nothing was going to change between them just because Henry liked guys.

Henry was both relieved and a little wounded by that. On one hand, he was glad that Alex was neither angry nor disgusted with him. On the other hand, he was harboring a huge crush for his best friend, and it hurt to know that he would never feel the same way.

And right now, those feelings have only gotten worse, and it feels wrong to sleep in Alex’s bed. Like maybe he’s taking advantage of him or something.

“I thought you had a date tonight. With Sheila. Or was it Shane?” Definitely something that started with a ‘sh’ sound. “I don’t want to be in the way.”

“Don’t worry. That won’t be a problem.”

“Don’t try to pretend like Alex Claremont-Diaz doesn’t fuck on the first date. You and I both know that that is far from the truth. That’s practically all you do.” He accidentally lets a little bitterness slip into his tone, and Alex gives him a weird look.

“I, uh, just meant that I could go to their place instead.”

“Oh. Right.” Henry hadn’t thought about that. In fact, he very much tried not to think about who Alex went home with because that only tore new and deeper wounds into his heart.

He’s honestly not sure how much more of this he can take.

Alex is his best friend in the whole world, but maybe living together was a mistake.

It’s not like he hasn’t known since forever that he has feelings for Alex, but this is different. It’s like something has shifted between them ever since they moved into this apartment together. It just kind of made sense. Alex is in his second year of college and Henry his third, and they knew that they could get along because they practically lived at each other’s houses when they were younger. 

But something about spending most of their time together and seeing sleepy Alex in the morning pre-coffee every day has caused him to fall in so deep that he knows he has no hope of every getting out of this hole he has dug for himself. And when Alex came out to him as bi shortly after they moved in together, Henry allowed himself to fill with hope. Maybe Alex could like him after all.

But then he kept bringing home someone new every week, whoever had caught his eye in one of his lectures, and it started to hurt.

Henry is in love with him, and he can’t pretend like that doesn’t have some effect on their relationship. Like it doesn’t kill him to see Alex with someone else, especially these people who don’t deserve someone as incredible as him.

“You know, I could always cancel and stay home,” Alex says, placing a hand on his arm.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because something is obviously upsetting you, and I hate to leave you alone in this state.”

Henry shakes him off and slides off the bed. “I’m fine. I’m not actually tired anymore. I think I’ll go study in my own room. Have fun on your date tonight,” he adds politely.

He shuts himself in his room but doesn’t sleep or study. He just slumps to the floor against his door and tries to find a solution for all of this.

He could move out at the end of the semester. Transfer schools and never talk to Alex again.

That’s a terrible idea, he knows. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them, but especially Alex, who hasn’t actually done anything wrong.

He just can’t seem to think rationally when it comes to Alex. He makes him so mad that he wants to hit him, but he also wants to kiss that infuriating grin off his face. He wants to fall asleep next to him and make him breakfast in the morning. He wants to take him on a romantic date and then make him forget about every other person he has ever had in his bed. He wants to make Alex his.

But he can’t because Alex doesn’t see him that way, and he has to find a way to deal with that before it wrecks their friendship.

***

A little over an hour later, there’s a knock at Henry’s bedroom door. That’s weird. Alex never knocks. He usually just comes blazing in, talking a mile a minute, barely giving Henry any time to catch up. But when Henry opens the door for him, he’s unusually quiet.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on your date?”

“Yes, but I canceled because there is something more important that I need to do.”

“And what would that be? Find someone better looking?” Henry asks, hating himself for the way that his jealousy makes him act. He turns away from the door and goes to sit on the end of his bed, putting some distance between them.

“Noo,” Alex says slowly, giving him another weird look. “I need to be here for my best friend. Even if he is mad at me for some reason. Seriously. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing. It’s like I told you earlier; I’m just tired.”

“You’re always tired, which is terrible, and I wish you would get more sleep. But this is more than that. You’ve been avoiding me for a while now and acting really weird about me dating people. I hate to have to ask this, but are you actually not okay with my being bi? Does it bother you?”

“What? Of course not. I accept you fully for who you are, and I’m glad you told me.”

“Then what’s going on? Because I spent the last hour running around the block and trying to figure out what I did to upset you, and that was all I could come up with.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Not everything is about you, remember? This is something that I have to deal with on my own.”

Alex steps farther into the room and settles on the edge of the bed, close enough to Henry to touch him but not close enough that it will be accidental.

“You don’t have to go through anything on your own. I’m here and I care about you, and I would do anything to make you happy.”

“I know, and that’s why I—.” Henry just barely cuts himself off before he just comes out and says the one thing he has been trying so hard not to say. “I just don’t want to burden you with this. It would ruin our friendship, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“God, Henry. What’d you do? Kill someone?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Then what could possibly be so bad that you can’t tell me? We tell each other everything, even the truly embarrassing things we wish we could forget. What could possibly be so bad that you can’t tell me?”

Henry groans and pulls at his own hair. He can’t do this. He can’t tell him the truth. But he can’t keep hiding it from him either. He has to make a decision. So, with a deep breath, he makes it.

“I’m in love with you.”

He can’t bear to look at Alex, doesn’t want to see his expression and know how disgusted he is with him. He wonders if it’s too late to take it back but doesn’t want to. Even though he knows the destruction that those five words can cause, he’s glad that they’re out there. It was killing him to keep them in. He just wishes Alex would say something so that he knew whether or not he should start packing his things.

Finally, Henry glances over at him, and he’s just sitting there looking stunned. Henry thinks that, maybe for the first time in his life, Alex is absolutely speechless. He never thought he’d see the day. He only wishes it wasn’t due to what he just said.

“Look, it doesn’t have to change things. I mean, I know it will change some small things. But like, we can still be friends. If you want.” He’s rambling in a fashion very unlike him, but he can’t seem to stop. “Or I can leave. I never meant for you to find out, and I don’t want it to ruin things. But if you’re weirded out by it, I get it.”

“Just. Give me a minute to process. And don’t go anywhere. The last thing I would ever want is for you to leave,” he says earnestly, finally looking at Henry.

Henry nods. He doesn’t want him to leave so that’s something. That’s better than telling him to get out of his sight and never return. It’s already better than the way that Henry’s family acted when they found out he was gay; they just pretended not to hear him. Only his sister acknowledged him, accepting him fully and helping him move out as soon as he graduated high school. He still doesn’t talk to them that much, which is why he’s so fucking terrified of losing Alex.

He’s part of his family. He just hopes he hasn’t screwed that up by loving him too much and passing a line he shouldn’t have.

When Alex is presumably done processing, he reaches out to place his hand over Henry’s. Which doesn’t tell him anything.

They’ve held hands before. But it didn’t mean anything. They were always really close, almost like brothers, except not because Henry couldn’t keep his stupid gay heart from falling for him.

“So. You’re in love with me?” Alex finally says.

“Yes. I do believe we’ve established that already.”

“I know. I just.” He pauses and takes a breath. “Do you know how I realized I was bi?”

“By getting drunk and hooking up with some random guy?”

“No,” he says, shaking his head and smiling a little. “Because I moved in here with you, and during the first week of living together, I saw you step out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel slung over your hips, and I couldn’t stop thinking about all of that exposed skin and how badly I wanted to touch it. Then I went to some stupid party and got stupid drunk and made out with some random guy with blond hair that was nowhere near as soft as yours. But all that time, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And I was so terrified of what it all meant, not because it meant that I liked guys but because it meant that I liked you. And I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”

It’s Henry’s turn to smile as he realizes what Alex is saying. “So, basically, we’re both idiots.”

“Um, speak for yourself. I’m doing great in my classes.”

Henry laughs and shoves him. But then he keeps one of his hands on him, wrapped around his arm, not wanting to let go.

“I had no idea you liked me. You were always with someone else, and I hated it,” Henry admits quietly.

“Hey, look at me.” Alex brings his hand up to gently cup Henry’s jaw and tilts his head so that their eyes meet. “None of them meant anything to me. They were just a way for me to try to forget about you. Of course, it didn’t work because every time they left, you were still there looking gorgeous as all hell.”

The corner of Henry’s mouth quirks up. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

“Yes. And I love you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize it.”

Henry shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Alright. Well, can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” So he does, taking Henry’s face in both of his hands before pulling him down into the best kiss he’s ever had.

It’s soft at first as they tentatively learn each other’s mouths. Then, Henry sighs and Alex slides his tongue over his lips, and the kiss deepens.

It’s everything that Henry has ever dreamt of and more. It’s perfect.

He’s not entirely sure this means that they’re a couple now, but he hopes it does. For the moment, though, he’s content to wrap himself around Alex and kiss him until they both forget where they are.

Henry loves him and Alex loves him back, and that’s all that matters right now.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Proposal

Leviathan x gn!MC

Words - 1916

Content Warnings - mild angst, lots of fluff, love confessions

Prompt/Inspiration - inspired by the “Wedding Vows” event

Summary -  Following Levi’s proposal audition, you are forced to confront your feelings for him.

AO3

Levi’s proposal was perfect.

You loved everything about it. Who programs an entire video game in a single week just to propose to someone? Well, Levi apparently. And he did not overlook any details. From the character design, to the level design, to even the background music. You could tell how much effort he put into it.

Only thing is...it wasn’t really for you.

It wasn’t until he finished his speech that it finally dawned on you, and it took everything you had to not break down on the spot and run away crying. You should have known better. You tried to prepare yourself all week. But the minute he stepped out for his turn at the audition, you let yourself get swept away by emotion because it just felt so real.

It wasn’t real though. And it never would be real. Because try as you might to get closer to Levi, he just wasn’t interested. Not like that at least. You were his best friend, his Henry, and for the most part, you were alright with that. If it meant you could stay with him and continue to enjoy his company, then Henry you would be.

But watching his proposal just now? It ripped your heart to shreds. A reminder of something that you would never have.

Thank goodness Mammon’s proposal immediately followed so you didn’t have time to wallow in your own self pity. You could always count on him to bring a smile to your face and distract you when needed. You almost had to wonder if he prepared such a big, over the top flash mob proposal just because he knew how hard it would be for you to handle Levi’s. He was just that sort of thoughtful demon, even if he would never admit to it.

By the end of the night, you had almost completely forgotten how heartbroken you had been earlier. Every now and then during the shoot you’d catch sight of Levi and offer him a small smile, but he was starting to look a little out of sorts himself too. It had been a long day after all, so it wouldn’t be entirely out of the question for him to be exhausted by this point.

By the time you finally managed to corner him and pull him aside, you were ready to go home yourself.

“Hey, do you think you can walk me home? I’m kinda worn out now and could really use the break. I already checked with Lord Diavolo and he said it would be alright.”

Levi had to think for a moment. He really didn’t want to be alone with you right now. You may have been trying to hide it, but he had seen the disappointment on your face when he finished his proposal earlier, and he kept replaying it over and over again in his head. He had tried so hard to make everything perfect for you. He knew that he’d never have the courage to tell you how he felt for real, so he poured his all into this in the vain hope that at least some of his feelings would get across.

But at the same time, he really wanted to get back to the comfort and safety of his room and curl up in his tub for the next century.

“Alright. Fine. I guess we can.”

You were a little surprised at how short his response was, but tried to write it off as just him being tired as you headed for home.

————

The walk back to the House of Lamentation was full of awkward silence. You were used to spending time quietly with Levi while you both read a book or manga separately, but this was different. You had so much you wanted to say to him - how much you loved his proposal, how much you loved him, how you would have said ‘yes’ in a heartbeat. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Levi was also struggling with what to say. He really wanted to know why you looked so sad, why you still looked so sad. He watched you interact with his brothers all day and you looked perfectly happy with them, but the moment you caught him staring your smile would falter and you’d quickly look away.

He assumed of course it had to be something he did wrong. Was the game not good enough? Were you upset that he got so carried away and finished for you? Or were you just totally disgusted by the idea of someone like him proposing to you that it made you want to burst into tears anytime you saw him? And if you were actually disgusted with him, did that mean you didn’t want to be his friend anymore either? The thought was too painful to even imagine.

Levi was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even realize when the two of you had arrived in front of your bedroom door. Neither of you seemed ready to part quite yet, both of you still hesitating on what to say. So Levi figured he might as well get this over with while he had the chance and knew his brothers wouldn’t interrupt.

“So...Umm…did I do something? I know my game idea was kinda cheesy and everything, I mean seriously who does that? And it’s from me of course so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t want to hear that from me...I know what I’m like and…”

“Levi! Stop!” you thought you had been heartbroken earlier, but it was nothing compared to how you felt now. Not only had Levi noticed your disappointment, but he had been blaming himself for it all afternoon. No wonder he looked so worn out. The guilt felt crushing, and at some point you had started to cry, a steady stream of tears flowing from your eyes.

“That’s...that’s not what happened,” your voice was barely above a whisper now as you dropped your gaze to the floor. Wiping roughly at your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears, you took a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing.

“I...I really liked your proposal. It was my favorite actually,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady and even.

“Then why did you look so sad?”

“That’s...umm...well...well, I liked it so much I was disappointed it wasn’t real, I guess,” you gave a self deprecating laugh at that. How foolish it sounded when you put it into words. And how much more foolish you had to be in order to say them out loud. But you couldn’t let Levi blame himself for your feelings, so you had to tell him the truth. Better for him to be disappointed in you for wanting more out of the relationship than he did, you thought.

“What are you talking about? Of course it was real. I stayed up all night working on it for a week!”

You lifted your head to look at Levi, absolutely stunned at what you were hearing. He couldn’t possibly be this dense could he? Surely he had to have known what you meant when you said it wasn’t “real”...right? Your mouth opened and closed as you struggled to put a response into words.

“If you didn’t like it, you could just say that. I made it myself, so I know it wasn’t that great, like everything else…”

“Hey! I said to stop that! Seriously! I told you I liked it already.”

“Then why were you crying just now?”

“That’s….”

“See, you can’t even deny it. It was my fault, I get it. I’m sure I just made you uncomfortable proposing to you like that.”

“ARGHHHH!” You let out a loud, frustrated growl. You absolutely adored this boy, but holy cow could his self doubt really make things way more complicated than they needed to be sometimes.

“Levi, I love you dammit. That’s what I’m trying to say. I love you. I cried because I realized your proposal wasn’t real and you’d never actually say those things to me. Alright?”, you let out a sigh as you caught your breath, “I’m going to bed now, I’m exhausted. Goodnight Levi.”

“Uh goodnight,” was all he could say before you closed your door behind you.

Now alone in the hall, Levi was left to work through his thoughts. You loved him? Where did that come from? He had been trying to drop hints to you forever, but you never seemed to pick up on them. And now you were saying you loved him? Why didn’t you say anything sooner if that were the case? He couldn’t really blame you though, he never told you how he felt himself, after all.

Wait.

HE NEVER TOLD YOU HOW HE FELT.

“Hey!! Wait a second!” Levi yelled as he yanked open your door. Fortunately for him you hadn’t bothered undressing yet or things would have gotten very awkward very quickly, a thought that only occurred to him as he watched you sit up on your bed still fully clothed.

“What is it Levi? I really would like to get some sleep,” you were absolutely drained now and really did not have it in you to spend any more time explaining to him how you felt. He knew enough to not blame himself, and that was just going to have to be good enough for now.

Without stopping to think (because if he stopped to think about anything he was about to do, Levi knew there was no way he’d be able to do it), Levi knelt on the ground by your bed and wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in your stomach.

“I didn’t give you my answer. You can’t just leave after a confession. You have to wait for my answer.”

“Your an…” your heart was pounding in your chest now and you fought desperately to keep it under control, and to rein in your emotions. Just because he wanted to give you an answer didn’t mean that he was going to say that he felt the same. He probably just wanted to enjoy the anime-esque moment and make the most of it. Yeah that had to be it.

“I love you too.” By now Levi was blushing a deep shade of red and oh so thankful that he was able to hide his face from you in this position. Even though you confessed first and took a lot of the pressure off him, this was still really embarrassing. Plus there was always that nagging voice in the back of his head telling him he misunderstood you and was just making things worse.

“Do you...do you mean that?” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There was no way this was real right? You had tried telling him so many times before and he always deflected and shut down your attempts before you could even finish. But now here he was, clinging to you, telling you he loved you.

“Of course I do! I wouldn’t do something this embarrassing if I didn’t,” he said, squeezing you tighter.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that answer. It was just so very...Levi. Gently, you wrapped your arms around him and returned the hug, lowering your head so you could rest it on top of his own. He really was here with you right now, and your heart had never felt so full.

[hogarthwrites]

the one

pairing: samuel drake/reader (m/f)

genre: angst, friends to lovers

warnings: none? (let me know if i should put any)

words: 2,333

summary:

part 1 part 2 Sam looks back on memories, some good, some he wishes he could forget. He feels bad about leaving you behind, but he's scared of confronting his own feelings.

note:

fin.

India

Sam didn't remember the last time he had pizza. Was it a week after he got out of prison? It definitely didn’t taste as good as it did at that moment. They’d saved the city, gave back to the people, and he probably helped Chloe find love. He did good.

But he didn’t feel all that good .

He couldn’t get the way you looked at him before he drove away out of his mind. He should’ve hugged you or said goodbye. Damn it, Samuel .

“So,” Chloe bit into her slice and stretched out the mozzarella. “What’s with you and that doctor?”

“Doctor?” Nadine raised an eyebrow. “Sam Drake has a someone?”

“I know, it’s hard to believe,” Chloe replied, erupting in laughter.

“Alright, alright,” Sam put up his hands in mock defeat.

“But is there anything going on between you two?” Chloe persisted.

“No?” He quickly said, instantly regretting it. “Shit, yes… No… I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

“We’re best friends,” Sam shrugged. “Who,” he glanced at Meenu. “Who hold hands.”

“But do you love this doctor?” Meenu piped in.

He looked at the little girl, her big bright eyes looking up at him in amusement and he didn’t know if he wanted to laugh.

“That’s a big word,” he finished his pizza. “ Love .”

“Coward,” Nadine taunted.

“When did this become a counseling session? Can’t a man just enjoy his pizza without getting grilled about his love life? Jesus.”

“As a friend , I just don’t want you missing out on a good thing,” Chloe poked him.

“Thanks for the concern, but I’m old enough to confront my own feelings.”

“Old enough, but definitely not mature enough,” Meenu muttered.

“Hey, now you’re just hurting my feelings,” he laughed.

“Don’t be a coward, Sam,” the little girl mimicked Chloe and poked him as well.

Chloe gave him a smug look and took another slice of pizza.

1978

“You’re leaving again?” Cassandra followed her husband to the door.

Sam tiptoed to the nursery, where Nathan was left on the rug, playing with blocks. He sat in front of his baby brother and held up his stuffed bear that had an eyepatch to resemble the pirates in his picture books.

“Look at this, Nathan,” he made the bear dance in front of Nathan, who looked nervous as Cassandra and Frank’s voices got louder. “This is Henry. He’s a pirate.”

“Henry!” Nathan reached for the bear.

Sam closed the door to muffle the yelling outside. It was normal now, and even though he was just seven years old, he knew it wasn’t a good thing.

“Why don’t you walk? It’ll be good for you!” Frank was saying.

He knew his mom was sick, but he didn’t know what was wrong. They didn’t ride airplanes or visit the nice lady anymore and Cassandra spent more time asleep than before.

Nathan was preoccupied with Henry when the front door slammed shut and soon after, they heard Cassandra’s footsteps as she ran to her bedroom.

“Mommy?” Sam found her under her blankets, sobbing.

“Oh, come here, honey,” she peered out at him and he crawled in under the blankets with her and Nathan. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, baby.”

“Are you feeling better, mommy?” Sam whispered.

“I’ll be fine,” she sniffled. She stared at her left hand for a while before slipping off her wedding ring. “Love is overrated.”

1987

“Right, so the cash register isn’t too hard to use,” Fred, the manager of the bookstore, led you around the back of the counter. He wasn’t that much older than you – he was probably 18 or 19 – and he stood tall and lanky as he punched buttons on the cash register. “You’ll have accountability for the accuracy of cash and charge transactions.”

“Okay,” you nodded, but you were distracted by a boy and a girl outside the shop. You recognised the boy as your coworker. Sam, was it?

“What’s going on out there?” You gestured towards the couple.

“Ah,” Fred simply glanced up. “Sam’s getting dumped. Again.”

Again? You watched as the girl was visibly upset with Sam while he tried to explain whatever it was he did wrong to her.

“I think you’re all caught up,” Fred gave you a pat on the back. “I have to go back to restocking that Stephen King book. Don’t worry about Sam too, this happens like, once a month.”

“Alright, thanks, Fred,” you busied yourself with rearranging the magazines in front of you, but you couldn’t help but glance up at Sam and the girl.

The conversation seemed to escalate and you clasped your hand against your mouth to suppress a loud gasp when she threw her milkshake at Sam’s face. She walked away in a huff and Sam stood there covered in strawberry milkshake. As he turned back to go inside the store, you looked down at the magazines again, pretending you weren’t just watching him get dumped.

“Shit,” he groaned as he tried to wipe his face clean.

“Geez, that looked rough,” you gave him an apologetic look.

Sam looked at you in confusion, wondering who you were.

“I’m the new hire,” you smiled. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

“Right…”

“Fred keeps an extra uniform in his locker if you wanna use it,” you shrugged. “I saw it when he gave me mine. Maybe you can ask him.”

“Nah, I’ll just pick it open,” Sam went to the back room.

Minutes later, he was back and clean of the milkshake.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” he smiled and nudged you.

“Don’t mention it. You don’t think he’ll notice it’s gone, do you?” You glanced over at Fred, who was assisting an elderly woman.

“Nah, I’ll put it back before he even notices it’s gone.”

“Right,” you chuckled, turning away as a customer placed some books on the counter. Sam sat on a stool nearby and took out a book to read. Treasure Island.

“So, um,” you turned when the customer left. “What was that out there? If you wanna talk about it.”

“That was Mina,” he didn’t look up from his book. “My now ex-girlfriend.”

“Right, I can see that.”

“She was mad about me working too much.”

“Why? How much time do you spend at the bookstore?”

“I don’t,” he flipped a page. “I work part-time at a garage after hours, fixing motorcycles and shit. Employment’s down, I’m barely getting by as it is. Also, I have shit luck when it comes to love.”

“I feel that. I think it runs in my family.”

“Did you just get dumped too?”

“Nah. My mom got tired of my dad so she ran off with a friend to Europe, then my dad fucked off to God-knows-where-ville.”

“Yeah, my dad fucked off too,” Sam laughed. “We have a lot in common, new kid.”

“I guess we do,” you smiled at him.

You and Sam were lying on your stomachs side by side, elbow to elbow on your bed watching the Angel Casas Show where A-Ha played a song.

“He has nice hair,” you pointed at the singer.

“You think I’d look good with longer hair?” Sam ran his hand through his hair.

Your face scrunched up as you tried to imagine his hair longer. “Your hair’s too messy and greasy to look as nice as his. And you're not blond."

“Is it really that greasy? I swear I try to wash it all off after work,” he pouted.

“Hmm,” you reached over and tousled his hair. “On second thought, try growing it out. It might be cute.”

“Why, thank you for finally recognising my good looks.”

“Alright, don’t let it get to you,” you pushed him off the bed and rolled over, laughing.

Arthur appeared at the door with his hands on his hips. “It’s late and I just want some goddamn rest. Time to go home, young man.”

“Hey, how’s it going, Art?” Sam winked.

“Go home,” Arthur sighed and walked away.

“I guess that’s my cue.”

You watched as Sam searched for his jacket and put it on. He stood in front of the mirror and touched his hair again, trying to style it differently.

“You really think I’d look good with longer hair?” He frowned at his reflection, annoyed that he could never get his hair to behave.

“Yeah, I guess so,” a corner of your mouth lifted into a small smile. You liked hanging out with Sam, and you didn’t know why you started thinking about him more whenever you weren’t together anymore.

“Don’t fall in love with me when I become even more irresistible,” Sam laughed as he climbed out of the window. He leaned in again with a lopsided grin on his face. “I mean it.”

You threw a stuffed animal at him. “Dream on, Sam. That’s grody to the max.”

Present Day

Sam ran his fingers through his hair as he stood outside your door. He’s been debating whether he wanted to go through with this and after a lot of failed attempts at calling you, he ended up at your doorstep.

Fuck it , he thought as he knocked. No answer.

“Come on,” he muttered. “Open the damn door.”

“Sam?” You called behind him.

Sam whipped around to see you walking up the steps with another person. Could it be?

“Fred?” He lifted an eyebrow. Fred was still tall and lanky, but his red hair was tied back in a low ponytail.

“If it isn’t Samuel Morgan,” Fred beamed.

“It’s Drake now,” Sam replied under his breath.

“Are you hurt, Sam?” You moved closer, inspecting his face. He had a cut on his nose, his lip, a bruise on his forehead and his hand was bandaged up.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Fred asked.

“I… fell,” Sam gave Fred a dirty look. “I’m fine.”

“Spare me the theatrics, Samuel,” you pushed past him and opened the door. “Come in.”

You grabbed his arm and led him to your sofa where he sat down with a grunt. His jaw clenched and he twiddled with his fingers while you went to grab your first aid kit.

“I have to go get ready,” Fred stood by the door. “Thanks for today. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Of course,” you nodded. “See you then.”

“Hope you get better, Sam,” he nodded at the man on your sofa. “I’d like to catch up sometime.”

“Sure, Freddie boy,” Sam faked a smile.

As soon as the front door closed, you angrily turned back to Sam who tried to avoid your eyes. You unwrapped the bandage on his hand and saw that he had a cut on his palm and a bunch of bruises on his knuckles.

“Hold on,” you sighed and got up to put a bag of peas on his hand.

After you’d cleaned his wounds and bandaged his hand up again, you sat back and rubbed your temples. You didn't know how to deal with him anymore.

“Take care of yourself, Sam,” you muttered.

“Yeah,” he looked at the bandage on his hand and closed his fist as much as he could. “Thanks again.”

You looked up as Sam stood.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “This was a mistake. I didn’t mean to barge in on whatever it is you have with Fred.”

“Huh?” You sat up. “What are you talking about?”

“He did have the hots for you back then, I guess it just makes sense.”

“Wait,” you laughed as you stood up. “Do you think Fred and I are a thing?”

“I–” Sam held up a finger to say something, but he bit his lip as realisation dawned on his face.

“Sam, I’m a doctor. His pregnant wife is my patient,” you crossed your arms.

“Oh…”

“You’re unbelievable.”

Sam pressed his lips together as he moved closer to you. “I’m sorry that was stupid.”

You turned away in frustration, doing your best not to just throw Sam out, but he seemed like he wanted to say something.

"Can you at least tell me what's on your mind?"

“God, Sam. Right now I just have all these what ifs playing around in my head, like what if you didn’t disappear, what if we stayed together, what if we didn’t have that fight before you left for India? It might’ve been fun, we might’ve been good together.” You pointed a finger at him. “But that’s all there is with you, is there? What if? ”

“I was scared, okay?” Sam put his hands up. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Ever.”

You scoffed as you rolled your eyes.

“I’ve never done this before,” he took your hand. “I…”

Sam froze up, his chest rising and falling as he tried to find the words to say. Don’t be such a coward , he told himself. He’s been at the end of the barrel of plenty of guns, nearly died at the hands of so-called “doctors”, lived at the mercy of a rich psychopath, but he couldn’t even say the word love .

“Sam?” Your eyes bore into his.

“I…” He repeated.

Instead, he pulled you in and kissed you. It felt different from the usual, quick kisses he usually gave. It was a soft kiss and he cupped your cheek gently as you melted into his arms. There was an urgency in the kiss, almost like he was desperate to tell you how much he needed this. How much he needed you.

Your eyes were still closed when Sam slowly pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should’ve left well enough alone.”

Before he turned away, you took his hand and he turned back to look at you.

“Don’t go,” you pulled at his hand.

“I’m trying… I want to say it,” he let out a breath.

He kissed you again, hoping you understood the message. I love you, damnit.

“I know, Sam,” you kissed his unbandaged hand. “I know.”

“Friends?” He leaned his forehead on yours and you laughed.

“Forever.”

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC (Female and Male POV)

Word Count: approx 3.3k

Warnings: swearing, smut,

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 19

Part 20 Final Chapter

Liam and I took it easy for the next couple of days. We spent some time with Perrin and Cole, taking them for walks and making sure they were getting along.

We watched Inglourious Basterds in Liam's theatre room, which was amazing. It was like being in an actual movie theatre. The dimmed lights and sound system made the experience great. Liam cooked me dinner. We even played Scrabble a few times. We were pretty evenly matched, so the games were competitive. We worked out. We fucked. We made love.

On Saturday morning, I woke with a sore neck. I prayed it was just a strained muscle from working out but the stress I was under during the week tended to catch up with me on a Saturday. By about 4 pm, the left side of my head started pounding, and my eyes became sensitive to light. Every sound in the house felt like screaming in my ears, and I wanted to throw up. I would have cried if I didn't already know how much worse it would make it my migraine.

I told Liam I had to go to bed. Even though my migraines were terrible, I was lucky I could usually treat them with some codeine and a few hours of sleep. They rarely last more than six hours. Liam was lovely about it. He insisted on helping me get changed for bed, and he even went and got me a cold washcloth for my head. He laid in bed with me until I fell asleep.

I woke up around 11 pm feeling groggy, but the migraine had gone. I got out of bed and went looking for Liam.

I found him asleep on the lounge under a blanket downstairs. It looked like he had planned to sleep there all night. Perrin was curled up on the blanket between Liam's legs, and Cole laid on the floor in front of the couch. Cole looked up when I came in, rubbing himself against my legs like a cat and nudging my hand for a pat. Perrin's ears came up, and his tail wagged but didn't move. Lazy old Dog.

I knelt in the spot Cole had been. Liam looked so much younger asleep, almost like a boy, since he had started shaving. Apparently, his character is clean-shaven a lot of the time, so he will be switching between being shaved and unshaved depending on filming. I didn't want to startle him, so I ran my fingers through his hair until he started to wake. Liam stretched a bit before opening his eyes, and he looked so cute doing so I almost pinched his cheeks. Perrin finally got up, realising his warm spot was compromised.

"Hey, Sweetheart," he said and looking at his watch. "Are you ok? do you need anything?"

I smiled at him and shook my head. "Just you," I said.

Liam smiled one of his full Hollywood smiles. He takes my breath away when he does that. "How's your head?"

"I haven't had any complaints," I said, winking. I think I've watched Drag Race too many times.

Liam chuckled and shook his head at me. "And you certainly won't get any from me." He said, getting up. Kissing my forehead, he said, "I'm glad you're feeling better."

I took his hand and pulled him towards the elevator. Like the gentleman he is, he pretended I was able to pull him.

We get in bed, Liam on his back and me with my head on his chest. He stroked my hair, trying to lull me to sleep. I always find it difficult to sleep at night if I have a nap in the afternoon. I was content to breathe my calming breaths and not worry about forcing the sleep I knew would eventually come.

Since sleep was alluding me, I asked Liam, "are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Meeting your family?" I nodded. He shrugged, "a little. It's been a while since I've been introduced to the family. A couple of years, actually. But I'm mostly looking forward to it." He gave me a quick kiss. "What about you?"

"After Thursday, I don't know if I'll be nervous about anything again." Liam chuckled. "I'm a little concerned about my mum. But I'm excited about you meeting the kids. I wonder if they will recognise you."

"Sometimes, kids do. Other times they say that's not him. He doesn't have a cape." I chuckled. Liam didn't speak for a while, so I tried letting Liam's breaths rock me to sleep. Then he spoke again, "Do you want kids?"

"You know, I do," I replied. We had spoken about it when we first started talking. Not wanting kids had been a deal-breaker for both of us. It was one of the first questions he had asked once we had gotten past the superficial talk. I looked at him, puzzled. "Why?"

"When you first told me about your contraception, I thought with my dick, so naturally, I was excited about not having to wear a condom." Liam's lip twitched, "Having said that, I wouldn't mind seeing you put a condom on me again." I rolled my eyes and indicated he should keep talking. "But then I thought you got that thing put in when you were still with Andy. If it's none of my business, that's fine. I had just been thinking about it, is all."

"You're wondering why I would use such a long-lasting contraception when I was married and wanted kids."

He nodded. "That sums it up."

"Well, several reasons. I had to replace the one I had. It had expired. Second, I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and one symptom is very irregular periods. I was always scared I was pregnant. I could go months without a period, and when I did, they were hell. I would get migraines for weeks, mood swings from being happy to almost suicidal throughout my cycle. When the period came, there was bad cramping and back pain, joint pain, fatigue. So, I had my first implant when I was 20."

"That sound's awful, Sweetheart."

"Yup. I got the last one put in instead of trying for kids because I was 26. Yes, Andy and I wanted kids, but we wanted to wait a few more years, pay more off the house, grow up a bit." Liam nodded.

I was surprised that talking to him about Andy in such intimate detail didn't make me start crying. I still felt sad and missed him, but it was different now. There was a fondness to the thoughts rather than the fear and guilt that would usually arise. Anthea had been right. I had to talk with Andy and be honest with him about how I felt. As if verbalising how I felt to Andy, wherever he was in the universe, eased the guilt I was feeling. It made me realise that it wasn't wrong or selfish to seek love again. It was what made life special, sharing your life with someone else.

Liam was looking with furrowed brows. "Are you ok?" He asked.

I wondered if I should tell him what I was thinking. Would he be interested? Would it be weird for him to hear about Andy? In some ways, Andy had always been the elephant in the room. He was mentioned in passing, but other than last Friday, I hadn't told him anything meaningful about him or how I felt. He had been right when we argued, Andy was a shadow that loomed over the relationship, and that was my fault. I decided to be honest.

"Yeah, I am." I gave him a half-smile and said, "I spoke to Anthea, my mother-in-law, on Tuesday." Liam's face was unreadable. Too late to stop now. I kept going. "I wanted her to hear from me that we were dating before it was official. It turns out she already knew. She was cool about it, happy for me. I was surprised by her response, and I thought she would think it was a betrayal. But she said I should talk to Andy, and I would feel better."

Liam still wasn't showing me what he was thinking. His face was stoic. I thought again, I should stop. "Keep going," he said, his voice not much louder than a whisper.

"So I visited Andy and told him about how I was feeling. I told him about you and how I felt about you. It seemed to work like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I felt free."

Liam was quiet for a while. I could almost see him arranging his thoughts. After a while, he said, "it seems the only one who makes you feel guilty is you."

"I think that was true, but not anymore," I said. "Are you upset I told you that? Is it... I don't know... tmi?"

Liam gave me a half-smile, "no, Lana. I'm glad you told me. I'm glad you did that. Not just for me, but for you."

"Then why were you looking at me like that?"

Liam's smile was full now. "Because I thought you were going to break my heart. Instead, you told me something private and because you wanted to. Not because I forced you or put you in a position where you had no choice. It makes me believe you may care about me as much as I care about you."

I cupped his face in my hands and looked deeply into his eyes, so he knows what I'm saying is true. "Liam, I do care about you. I don't think anyone else could have opened my heart. I was ready to go the rest of my life alone. If it weren't for you, I would never have taken those final steps to move on. For being the catalyst I needed, I will always be thankful for you and care about you."

Liam POV

Lana held my face in her hands. Her green eyes shined in the dim light of my bedroom as she spoke to me. "Liam, I do care about you. I don't think anyone else could have opened my heart. I was ready to go the rest of my life alone. If it weren't for you, I would never have taken those final steps to move on. For being the catalyst I needed, I will always be thankful for you and care about you."

My heart stopped a moment before it started to thunder in my chest. Lana so rarely bared her soul to me. She dropped hints sometimes, said little things to make me believe she could love me. But too often she was closed off when things get too intimate or too real.

She had changed so much since I first spoke to her, yet somehow she was still the same. She was kind and generous. I picked up on that early. That she was so funny and witty was something that she was slow to reveal but was a joy to watch. Watching her start to open her soul to me was beautiful. To see her courage and strength as she pushed through her grief was inspiring. That she saw enough in me to want to go through all she went through was humbling.

I loved her. I was desperate to tell her. I almost told her so many times. But my fear kept me from saying it. I didn't want to scare her off. I knew now she has to set the pace. She will be ready when she's ready and I will be there when she is.

Lana kissed me, and my body lit up. Her lips were like a match igniting a fire that travelled through my whole body. I instantly grew hard and needed her. I kissed her back, my tongue licking at her lips, urging her to open for me. When she did, I was lost, and all control left me. I needed to be in her.

My tongue entered her mouth, and her taste reminded me of apples and honey. She tasted so sweet to me. I wanted to taste her everywhere. I rolled her onto her back, reminding myself not to throw her around too roughly. She could take a lot of punishment, but I was still careful.

I sought Lana with my hands, pulling off the underwear that separated me from her. I put my hand between her legs, and my fingers parted her. I groaned when I felt how wet she was already, and I had to taste her. I moved between her legs as she opened them wide for me.

I put two fingers inside her, and my cock ached. "You're so warm, Lana," I told her, and she moaned, arching her back, her hips moving as I fucked her with my fingers. She was so responsive to my touch, and I loved watching her every movement. Her body moved in the most spectacular ways, writhing and seeking her pleasure.

I couldn't wait any longer for a taste, so leaving my fingers inside her, I let my tongue find her clit. When her taste hit my tongue, I hummed with delight. Lana's fingers slid into my hair as she pushed me into her and her hips rocked as she grinds herself on my tongue. God, she was so sexy. I wanted to stay here forever, watching her and listening to her moan. I ran my hand up her hips to her tiny waist. Feeling her hips under her soft skin was so erotic. I needed to fuck her, but she needed this first.

Lana started panting, her moans became short cries as she exhaled and I knew she didn't have long. I felt her walls close in on my fingers as she started to cry out my name, begging me not to stop. As if I would deny her this. As if I would deny her anything.

When Lana came, she was beautiful. Her eyes closed hard, her body convulsed, and her thighs trembled. Then she did this thing where she throws her head forward, and her body almost curls into a ball, and I know she's finished. Even when she's standing up she does it, I almost dropped her the first time. It's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen.

I lapped at her one more time, taking one last taste. She shuddered and tried to close her legs, giggling. She smiled at me, and my heart melted, but my cock was in pain. I needed to have her.

I kissed her, and she licked at me, tasting herself. She drives me wild when she does that. I felt like an animal, my careful control was gone, and I pushed my cock into her. She was so wet and tight, her body moulded around my cock, taking me all in, holding me so tight I almost came.

"Fuck," I swore into her mouth. Lana bit at my lip, playful, but I knew what that meant. She wanted me, and she didn't want me to be gentle.

I wasn't gentle. There was no way I could be. She had me too worked up, and all I wanted was to own her and claim her as mine forever. I started to thrust into her, her tits bouncing as she takes all I give her. Her lips were parted, and her cheeks were red. Her hair looked like a halo of fire on the sheets. Its vibrance thrilled me. I pushed my self off her and watched as my cock pumped into her. Seeing her stretched around me, I felt my orgasm rise again. Not yet. I wasn't done with her yet. I slowed down.

"Liam," She whispered my name, and there was no stopping it. My body took on a mind of its own, driving itself to release. She cried my name again as I felt my seed rise into me, and ecstasy flowed through me as it pumped into her.

I fell on my side next to Lana and took deep breaths. She gave a hum of contentment and I pulled her into me, hugging her tightly and I felt the surge of love again. She was so beautiful and sweet but so fucking sexy. She made me feel drunk. Even moments after orgasming, I wanted her again. I put my face into her hair, smelling her sweet pomegranate shampoo. Lana hugged me back as she played with my chest hair, and I smiled, she loved to touch me there, and it felt so good when she did.

My mind wandered as she caressed me with her pretty little hands and pink fingernails. The first time she had touched my chest, she had seemed so hesitant and unsure, even looking at me for permission. It had been such a turn-on.

It had been so hard not to fuck her that first night. I did try and seduce her. I knew what effect I had on women. It's hard not to know when you're famous and have women hitting on you all the time. I think I could have, there were a few times there where if I had played my cards right she would have let me. But knowing what I know now, I'm happy I didn't. I'm sure she would have run, and I would never have seen her again.

When she did let me, she had knocked me for six when she bit me. It was almost out of nowhere, and the way she opened up to me after about her desires was amazing. We still had so much to explore, only just getting to know each other sexually. I could tell she was getting more comfortable with it. She was probably going to teach me a thing or two. That thing she did with the condom, I think I almost told her I loved her then. I chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" Lana asked. Her accent made it sound like she said, "whadcha laughn at?" I don't know why, but her accent excited me, especially when she swore at me. Her mouth was filthy. Maybe it was the combination of her outward elegance and her potty mouth that I liked. It was such an exciting combination.

"Nothing, Sweetheart." I kissed her long neck gently and held her. She seemed to accept it and squeezed me into her.

"I love you, Lana," I said, and my heart stopped. She froze. I don't even think she was breathing. My blood was like ice as my heart started to beat again. Oh, God, I fucked up. I'm going to lose her this time. I wanted to take it back. I was such a fool. Fuck.

Then Lana found my mouth and kissed me. The warmth that spread through my body was such a relief. Her kiss held such sweetness and passion. It was the promise that I needed. She wasn't mad. She wasn't going to run away. I held her close and kissed her back. She didn't have to say it for me to know that she loved me too.

End.

[tthael]

If you're still doing the DVD commentary thing, I'm curious about your thought process behind the whole discussion they have in the car at the end of chapter 11, when Richie asks Eddie why he thinks It targeted them specifically.

Oh boy, this answer’s a bit depressing.

See, I’ve gotten a lot of responses talking about how much they love Went and Maggie in Indelicate. And while they are fun--and a lot of their dynamic is influenced by my own parents and grandparents, and I decided to write their behavior as sort of blueprints for Richie and his behavior towards Eddie--Richie is more upset than he lets on about their conversation about Henry Bowers and his childhood.

So in Chapter 10, I have Richie sort of pick a fight with his parents. Eddie gives him an opening, and Richie immediately seizes onto the topic of Henry Bowers and his childhood bullying, because he wants to confront his parents. About their choice to live in Derry? Maybe. About their failure to respond appropriately to some very violent childhood bullying? Definitely. Richie brings up the incident from the book where Bowers wipes out in front of their class and Richie automatically and without thinking goes, “Hey, Bananaheels!” and Bowers chases Richie all the way through Freese’s department store with his cronies, intending to beat him. Because movie!Richie wears the Freese’s shirt, I decided to keep that incident.

And Went’s immediate response to Richie’s story of “Remember when I was in great fear of physical violence and very real fear for my safety?” is to ask, “Well, what did you do to make him angry?”

I don’t know if you’ve read Things That Happen After Beverly Leaves, but in that fic I have Bev and Richie have a conversation about Tom Rogan and a specific incident of violence that happens during the fic, during which Bev asserts that it was her fault that he went after her because she was antagonizing him. And Richie’s response is something to the effect of, “Oh, really? Does everyone have that threshold? What do you have to say to me before I decide to beat you, then?” Because it’s bullshit and victim blaming, and everyone has a choice of whether or not to commit violence, especially in positions of power. (Even when the violence is committed in self-defense, there’s always the choice to--not defend yourself, and to accept those consequences. In this instance, I’m not describing “violence” as an umbrella “this is always bad” sort of thing; but I do think that it’s always bad when enacted on someone else for the purpose of harming them, especially from a position of power to someone weaker.)

Like many readers of IT by Stephen King, I was horrified by the blasé approach that most of the adults have to the childhood bullying portrayed in the book. I know that King experienced bullying as a child--probably part of why he writes it so elaborately and brutally; and I know that one of It’s influences is that It exaggerates the negative and harmful tendencies of all of Derry’s residents, including bullies like Henry Bowers (even before It interferes with him directly), Alvin Marsh and Sonia Kaspbrak (whose “protective” and abusive natures become exaggerated and inhuman), and adults who turn blind eyes to the violence happening in front of them (the older couple who saw Bowers cutting Ben and drove on, bystanders who saw Alvin Marsh chasing Bev through the street and did nothing, a shopkeeper who tried to intervene in an act of bullying and allowed Bowers and his gang to run him off instead of rescuing the Loser in question, though I’m afraid I don’t remember the specifics).

In this case, I decided that the Toziers didn’t respond appropriately to defend their son. You can decide whether that was because of Derry and It or because of their parenting style. But in this case I decided to have Wentworth demand that Richie take responsibility for his victimization. And Richie gives a sort of Stepford smile when he admits to provoking Bowers; and Wentworth’s response is “You’re very smart, but you kept being stupid and getting into fights.”

If you read the Bananaheels scene from IT, we see that Richie has literally no brain-to-mouth filter. The very second the words are out of his mouth, he wants to kick himself, but he knows Bowers will do it for him. I also write Richie as having untreated ADHD, especially as a child, and his failure to consider cause and effect here is influenced by my own brother. He literally could not consider the consequences of his temper tantrums when he was a child, because there was no reflection or consideration of cause and effect for him. Many child psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists attested to this. Because this is a real person and someone I have great affection for, I’m not interested in breaking down whether that’s an element of being a child (it was not in my experience) or an element of having untreated ADHD (again, it was not in my experience, as I suffered crippling overthink and decision paralysis at the other end of the spectrum). But I did decide to let that influence Richie.

Eddie is very uncomfortable with Richie’s parents’ lack of sympathy, especially because he shared the experience with Richie; but he’s also uncomfortable with parents in general and very aware that he’s in the Toziers’ space and doesn’t feel he has standing towards them. Richie gets more defensive, Stepford smiling, and recounts other stories of Bowers’ gang harassing the Losers, getting crueler and more flippant both with himself and with his friends (he casually insults Ben), and culminates in the story of Bowers cutting Ben for the crime of not allowing him to cheat off him in school, something that Richie is sure the Toziers cannot claim was the wrong thing to do, the way they suggested that Richie’s actions were the wrong thing to do.

Only then does Wentworth remember that the childhood bully Richie mentioned was actually arrested and imprisoned for fratricide. This is something that even the fog of Derry’s memory loss didn’t take away from him completely, and Richie discussing it brings it back up. And Richie gleefully confirms that yes, that is the Henry Bowers he meant, and actually he tried to lynch Mike and successfully stabbed Eddie in the face, two actions that the Toziers cannot dismiss as provoked. Then the Toziers get distracted by dentistry and Richie coldly and excellently lies to his parents’ faces not just about Bowers’ whereabouts but about the fact that he killed them.

So Richie’s topic of conversation when he and Eddie leave is “Why do you think It went after us?” because he’s still trying to deal with the victim blaming his father expressed and what he actually means is “What do you think I did that made this happen to me?” Then Richie talks about his parents’ choice not to have any children after him, and makes a joke that’s actually completely serious about being such an annoying child that his parents decided they didn’t want any more, even at the potential of his mother’s longed-for daughter, because (in Richie’s mind) the risk of a second Richie was too great. And Richie jokes about his own death, and admits to Eddie that he was very lonely, because Richie is still very lonely right now.

And Eddie says that he’s not lonely and he never felt lonely, and Richie hears “I wasn’t lonely because I had you,” and that’s what he really needs to hear right then. It’s not a love confession (a love confession would be too good to be true), but Richie thinks it’s as good as he’s going to get, so he eats it up.

Even Eddie’s thoughts are about victim blaming, which comes down to an argument that I read on tumblr some years ago: that “she shouldn’t have dressed like that, she shouldn’t have gone off by herself” means “rape the other girl, the one who did all the wrong things,” the one that means violence as punishment. Eddie thinks that victim blaming in this case means that It should have killed and eaten the other kid, which is of course wrong, because It had to be stopped for its monstrosity, not because it was an ineffective deterrent or punishment.

So Eddie pushes Richie in the other direction--he says that what made a difference was not that the Losers ran around without supervision, but that they loved each other enough to risk their lives trying to save each other. Even Richie, in his magnanimous cruelty after speechifying and leaving Bill on the hook, chose to kill the fucking clown rather than abandon Bill, rather than leave It to eat the other kid. And when Richie says “Good for us,” about the Losers being willing to die for each other, he gets grim because Eddie is still like that, trying to die for him; and Richie can forgive himself for trying to die to save the others, but he doesn’t know if he can forgive Eddie for actually dying to save him yet.

That was a long one, but I’m planning on digging back into Maggie and Went in Indelicate again and it’s good practice for me to analyze the choices I made months ago. So thank you for asking! And for reading, of course.

[chill-fixations]

New Encounters

The boy couldn’t have been very old at all. Standing before her in mundane clothing with a determined gaze, he didn’t rise beyond her chest; which said something, really, as Charlotte’s petite figure stood above him, her chocolate eyes widened in surprise. 

“I am a Shadowhunter,” the young boy stated, voice steady and eyes locked onto hers. “I want to be trained, and live as one of you.” Despite his oddly steely stature, his clothes looked worn, and dirty from what she could only assume was his journey to the institute. He also smelled… different. In a dozen ways, he smelled different than how he sounded and partially looked. 

--- As head of the institute, Charlotte had invited the boy, William, inside, and led him to an empty bedroom. She knew it was her duty to take in nephilim children who chose to live as Shadowhunters. She had been too young to understand when his father had left the Shadowhunter world behind to marry a mundane, but she definitely knew the Herondale name. Charlotte tried conversing with Will, but he only gave quick and short answers, speaking only the absolute necessary, bare minimum to her before while evading the rest of the questions. It was all so confusing, leaving her puzzled and determined to figure out his situation. She sighed as she entered the great library, wondering what must be going through his head. “What made you decide to come train?” “Is your family alright?”

Her questions rang in the back of her mind, but she tried to ignore them. “He probably recalled being previously asked if he wanted to train, and decided he now did…” She mused to herself, although it wasn’t even half true, not even in her head, walking deeper into the library.

“What’s that, now?” Henry called distractedly, in the middle of carefully drawing up some sort of sketch over a round table. He was her husband, her partner, her beta. 

“Will - I mean William, the boy… I was just trying to figure something out.” She glanced over to him, taking in the intense concentration on his face, as it faded for him to turn away and smile at her reassuringly. Henry’s scent was warm and deep, like spiced fruit or cinnamon. Just being near him made her feel like an invisible, soft blanket had been thoughtfully draped around and over her. 

“I’m sure he had some sense in it, dear.” 

She nodded her head, but couldn’t help but recall the shimmer of something else in his eyes, when he had first knocked on the door. Charlotte couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but something about him felt… tragic. He reeked of a deep, guttural sadness. It made Charlotte want nothing more than to bundle him up and warm him, but she doubted he’d be well receptive to any sort of treatment like that.

--- The next day, after he once again dodged her questions, she introduced him to Thomas. “You can train with him, and I can teach you both.” She smiled between the two, hoping they could become friends - he seemed like he needed one. “How can he possibly keep up with me? He’s just a scrawny little twig of a man.” Will sneered and puffed his chest out. Thomas frowned, but didn’t say anything back. “William!” Charlotte turned to him with narrowing eyes. Despite her disapproval, and his rude behavior, something in her chest wanted nothing more than to turn that joyless smirk into a genuine smile. Maybe that was part of why he seemed so quietly full of despair- he hadn’t smiled once since he’d arrived at the London Institute. Unaware of her tangled emotions, Will simply laughed and turned away. Even his taunting laugh sat sadly within her senses.

---

He didn’t warm up to the idea of Thomas through his training. Rather, he just seemed physically exhausted and upset as he ducked away and down the stairs leading to the training room. Charlotte sighed, putting away the wooden sticks they’d been using. Thomas was actually stronger than Will, and while Charlotte was mostly just teaching Will basic poses and grips today, Thomas had agreed to spar with the seemingly cocky Welsh boy, and had knocked him down, too. A starburst of emotion had flooded Charlotte’s senses in that moment, and she’d rushed over to help the boy up off the ground. “I don’t need your help!” Will had snapped, cheeks flush from excursion as he fell out of range of her hand. It hadn’t deterred her, though, something else taking over - protective motherly instincts? - as she checked to make sure he wasn’t bleeding. “Isn’t that why you’re here?” She had asked, still hovering protectively above him, but giving him his space. “You don’t know a damn thing!” He had yelled before leaving.

Charlotte shook her head out of her thoughts from earlier, and went to change for dinner.

---

At the table, it was only Henry, Charlotte, and Will. While she viewed Thomas as family, he was a mundane, and didn’t frequently sit to dinner with them, as his choice. Henry attempted to make conversation with Will, but he continued to retort shortly, or, he responded with much more detail in a much colder, harsher manner. While Charlotte remained feeling conflicted, Henry just laughed it off as he daydreamed of his newest invention. “That’s no way to speak to people if you want to make friends, Will-” “Who on earth said I wanted to be friends with anyone here? You’re all dreadful, really. Orphans on the streets seem more interesting than you two!” He scoffed. She could feel her heart jump at the clearly hurt, defensive words, but she laced her fingers together on her lap nonetheless, keeping her eyes steadily pointed onto him. “You’re hurting. Something is… wrong, but instead of letting anyone help you, you’re lashing out and pushing away.” The words tumbled out of her pursed lips before she gave them permission to, and she nearly felt surprised with them herself, despite her saying them. “No one can help the damned…” He muttered under his breath, pushing away from the table and storming out the room. Charlotte gasped and stared after him, suppressed her instincts to follow him and confront him. “Well I-!” “Hmmmm?” Henry hummed, breaking out of his reverie and looking around the table. “Huh, William disappeared.” She sighed, pressing her thumb and forefinger against her forehead and rubbing her temple. “Yes, he ran out. It seems I’ve upset him. I just want him to talk-” she let out a frustrated breath. It made sense. She would care like this about any random 12 year old who came wandering into her home, but… She wouldn’t have ever snapped and said those things so loosely with anyone else. What was it with William Herondale? She felt such a suffocating need to protect him, although she did not know what from. Henry’s finger traced the tablecloth beside his plate of food, tracing some invisible thing only he could picture in his mind's eye as he listened. “-I just don’t understand! Why he’s so allusive, why it’s so frustrating - I simply want to help him! I want to love him and soothe him and see his smile! Something is so clearly wrong, yet he won’t trust us-” “He is an omega, Lottie… it’s only natural you feel so extra inclined with him…” He wasn’t even looking at her anymore, lost in his thoughts as he replied.

“He’s an - omega?” She tipped her head to the side, finally halting her monologue. “Well, that and you described him as terribly sad…” Henry nodded.

Charlotte blinked over at him, stunned and curious. “I’ve never been so close to one before: I didn’t even know he was one… That cannot be why he is so full of despair, but… Perhaps it’s been getting to me even more so, due to it…” “Yes! Look at you, Charlotte! Making your own theories, your own hypothesis!” He grinned over to her, and she was momentarily shook out of her fixation thanks to the wide, beaming smile he gave her. “Yes…. I want to take care of him, Henry. Like he’s our own - he’s so small, despite his words, and he needs to be loved and nurtured…” She began fawning quietly, mentally concocting ways to make him smile. She would teach him to fight like a Shadowhunter. She would teach him love, even if he wasn’t consciously allowing her to. She would give him safety, and hopefully, happiness and healing. And Charlotte did, to an extent.  It just wasn’t until Jem came along that he truly started to bloom. But that’s a different story.

[yee-fxcking-haw]

What Happens Next?

A/N: This chapter is kind of short, so I hope you still enjoy it! The next chapter will definitely have a lot of smut and cheesy stuff in it so stay with me lol. If you want added to the taglist or if I was the worst and forgot to tag you please just message me and let me know!!

Summary: You and James finally have that long avoided talk.

Warnings: Violence, blood, mentions of mental illness, implications of sexual assault.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four Playlist

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Part Five

Annie's Diner

James orders two chocolate milkshakes and plate of fries, thanking the waitress with a beautiful smile. Sitting in this diner with him feels absolutely surreal. It's obvious to you why you've refused to say a word to him since prom. He makes you weak. You feel yourself falling again, you're so easily swayed by him and you don't even want to fight it.

"Are you sure that's all you want to eat?" He asks, obviously trying to be careful with his words.

You just nod without a word. You keep your eyes glued to the table, pretending to be very intrigued by it. It kills you that this is almost awkward. You never dreamed that you and James would ever have a moment that would feel this unnatural.

"Doll?" He says, his voice has a questioning tone.

"I told you not to call me that." You say without looking up. You don't want to hear him call you that name ever again, he poisoned it when he used it for that other girl.

"What's her name?" You ask quietly, glancing up at him.

He sighs deeply, accepting the inevitable question.

"Elise, I never wanted to take her to prom." He explains.

"So you dumped for me somebody you didn't even like! That makes me feel so much better, thank you so much James." You say, filled with anger at his sorry ass explanation.

"She started the rumors about you, not me. As soon as she got into the gym that night she started spreading them." He blurts out, obviously desperate to convince you of his innocence.

"Honestly, I don't care who started the rumors. It almost makes it worse that you didn't. If you had, then you would at least be able to plead the case of clinging to your own lie, of not wanting to embarrass yourself by telling everyone that you were an asshole that made that shit up. Since somebody else started them, you had nothing to lose by telling everyone the truth. You didn't though, so that's what matters, not who started them, but the fact that you didn't stop them." You finish your little rant with a huge sigh.

Does he really think that he's going to get out of this by blaming somebody else? James just sits there, eyes wide. He looks so defeated already, like you just sucked all the life out of him. Maybe he's really starting to grasp just how much pain he's subjected you to.

"You're right, I didn't. Because I cared too much about what people thought and I was scared. I was stupid, and selfish, and it made me lose the best thing that's ever happened to me." He looks at you with pleading eyes.

"Save the Shakespeare bullshit, James. If I was the best thing you've ever had you wouldn't have thrown me away for somebody who meant nothing." You retort.

"I did not fucking throw you away. I did not dump you. I showed up expecting to meet you with Elliot and Henry, but then the girls were there like an ambush or something." He says, his voice laced with frustration.

"Listen to me, if I had turned Elise down right then and there, your life would have become a living hell." He says, lowering his voice like he's scared somebody will hear.

"Right, because she didn't do that anyway." You snap, words dripping with sarcasm.

"Do you remember that girl at the beginning of the year, the one that sang the national anthem at the football game?" He asks urgently.

You try to think back, you do remember her a little. She wasn't here for very long though, just long enough to sing the national anthem and then she left the school abruptly. She had the most beautiful black hair, that seems to be the only detail you can remember about her.

"Elise wanted to sing that, but the principal liked the way Wendy sang it." You begin to put the pieces together.

"When Elise found out that she wasn't going to sing it, she got very close to Wendy all of a sudden. She found out that she was pregnant because she was foolin' around with one of the football players." He explains.

"So she told the principal and got Wendy expelled." You fill in the rest.

"Where's Wendy now?" You ask.

"Last I heard she left town, she was about 6 months pregnant when she moved. Her and her parents just up and left one day." He says.

"Is that according to Elise?" You ask.

"That's according to Andrew, the guy that knocked her up." He states.

You sit quietly for a second, could one girl really hold that much power over a school? You think back to when you were called to the principal's office that Monday afternoon. You had plead your case honestly, but all the principal had to say was, "Evidence suggests otherwise". What the hell did that even mean? It sort of made sense now. Adults have never been good at taking people your age seriously. Especially if it's a grown man being asked to listen to a young woman. Unless of course, that young woman has something to offer him.

"So you were scared of what Elise might have done, then you saved your ass by pretending you didn't know me?" You ask, not really angry just trying to understand.

"I hate myself for it, but yes." He says.

"How did she even know you'd be there?" You ask, realizing how stupid the question is.

"Elliot told Annette, then Annette told Elise. You know how it goes." Annette is obviously one of the two girls that accompanied Elise that night.

"She was the one stalking me." He says.

"Stalking you?" You ask, your eyebrows shooting up in shock.

Just then the waitress shows up with your milkshakes and fries, sets them down quietly and asks if you need anything else. You say "no thank you" a little too quickly, trying to get back to the story James is telling as fast as you can.

"You've gotta be kidding me." You say, popping a fry in your mouth. Your anger is disappearing slowly, but you still cling to the fact that he hasn't made it right until now though.

"She was obsessed with me man." He says, sipping his shake.

"I caught her driving past my house, I even caught her looking in my bedroom window when I came home one night. I was scared what she might do to you if I didn't go along with what she wanted at prom." He seems genuinely stressed, visibly upset by how everything played out.

You just sit and listen, munching on your fries, occasionally drinking your shake. Every part of you wants to be mad at him, to yell at him for not making it right before now. He didn't even want to make it right really, he just happened to be at the dance hall tonight. By pure coincidence he saw Daniel dragging you out of there. Right? He couldn't have known you would be there tonight… unless.

"Molly?" You ask, realization suddenly hitting you like a bus.

He's not confused at all, his eyes just go wide.

"Molly set this up with you didn't she?" You say, voice growing in volume.

"She may have given me a call." He says calmly.

"Oh my God." You whisper.

"Doll, please-." You cut him off by staring daggers at him for using the nickname.

"Sorry, just please hear me out." He says cautiously.

"That's what I've been doing." You scoff.

He ignores your snark and keeps talking, taking it as some form of permission.

"I couldn't show any sign that I knew you at prom, for obvious reasons. I couldn't come talk to you after, I never found out where you live, I never got your phone number, I had no way of reaching you except for at school where you wouldn't even look at me. For good reason I know, but I just couldn't get to you." The words spill out of his mouth like he's running out of time.

"Then of course there was Elise, she was always breathing down my neck constantly. I tried to confront her one time, asked her what the hell her problem was. All she said was that I should watch it or she would get the principal involved. I can only guess that her rich ass parents were pumping money into the school, or maybe she was-"

"Or she was sleeping with the principal?" You interrupt to ask out of morbid curiosity, your eyebrows high and eyes wide.

"That's a possibility." James says.

"Either way, she had some kind of hold on him. Something that made it very difficult for him to combat anything she told him." He says.

"Jesus, this is like some twisted murder novel." You exclaim.

"Now I hate to use this line, but please believe me when I say this." He says with begging eyes.

"In a very messy way, I was trying to protect you. And when you wanted nothing to do with me, I couldn't force myself back into your life because that would just make you hate me more. I couldn't tell the school the truth because Elise would have dragged you down with me. If it had just been my own ass on the line I would have told everyone and their mother the truth, but I couldn't let her make things worse for you."

You both sit in silence, him waiting for a response, you waiting for him to go on.

"As soon as I could I found Molly and told her everything. She told me it would be hard to do, but that she was certain we could fix this."

"Traitor." You mutter, earning a chuckle from him.

"I had to wait. I'm not just saying this to sound dramatic, I was genuinely afraid of what Elise might do if she ever found out how I felt about you. Which are feelings I still have, by the way." He says quietly.

You just sit there, dumbfounded. He was being stalked, genuinely stalked. That's why he was so stiff that night, so unlike himself. Holy shit. James actually has a pretty good reason for what he did. It's not perfect by far, and you could sit here all night arguing about other options he may or may not have had. That would be a waste of time though. There's just one question burning in the back of your mind.

"Why didn't you ask Molly where I live, or what number to call?" You ask.

"I told you, I couldn't force myself into your life with you already so angry with me. While Elise could hurt me with words, I'm quite confident you could whoop my ass if I pushed you enough." He says, a teasing smile on his lips.

"I didn't want to ruin it doll, the most I could hope for was a night like tonight. I told you, I had to just wait. If I had pushed you or cornered you that would have been the last straw and you know it. I had to hold on to that hope that I had a sliver of a chance to…" He stops for a second, his face knits into a very pensive look.

"A chance to love you again." He finishes, seemingly content with the words he's found.

You hate how much sense it all makes. If Elise is really that batshit, he really had no other option than to just let everything play out until he could find a way to talk to you. A chance like tonight.

"That afternoon, it's irreplaceable. I know a lot of it happened really fast, and a lot of it was really intense." He says, the look in his eyes tells you he's thinking about the way you made love. Both of you were so reckless and full of passion. Your chest burns with desire, heart aching for his touch again.

"Well then what about now, James? Are we supposed to just be together and expect Elise to be over it just because we're not at school anymore? Is she still stalking you?" You ask.

"She's not here anymore. Her family moved to Florida, not before she broke one of the windows in my house for not calling her back though." He says and lets out a little laugh.

"Well shit." You say.

"So let me get everything straight. One of your friends let it slip to one of her friends that you would be at prom. She surprise attacked you and then you panicked and did your best to make it seem like you didn't know in an attempt to protect me. That wasn't good enough for her, so she started the rumors about me being your stalker for good measure?" You ask.

He nods silently.

"Then I was so pissed off that I wouldn't talk to you, for good reason in my mind. You couldn't expose the rumors as lies without painting an even bigger target on my back, so you just gave me my space, waited for Elise to not be a problem anymore, then conspired with my best friend to get me to the dance hall so you could finally have your chance to explain?"

Another quiet nod.

You chew your lip, it does all add up. You try to think of what you would have done in that situation. Of course you want to say you would never throw James under the bus, you would stand up for him and bravely profess your love, but human nature is a bitch. People panic and scramble to do what they think is best based on instinct. That's what James had done. You can't even be mad at him for not trying to get you alone to talk sooner, because you know you would have been too blinded with rage to do anything except flail your fists at him like you had earlier tonight.

"I am so fucking sorry doll." You don't even flinch at the name now.

"After I've said all of that, I need you to know that I know it's my fault. I should have told you about Elise that night on the roof, I should have warned you and kept you safe that way. I just didn't know how to really throw in the fact that I was being stalked without absolutely ruining everything. It was all so perfect, everything was perfect with you. It was all so new and overwhelming, I couldn't think straight. So when I saw you there, in those damn boots and that dress, I just fucking panicked. I only ever wanted to keep you safe, that's all I wanted. I just fucked it up. I really fucked it up." There are tears in his eyes now, he pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and breathes deeply in through his nose.

He's watching you with those beautiful eyes, waiting for you to say something, anything.

Then it hits you, there's something he still hasn't done. With Elise gone he has no reason to not tell everyone she made it all up.

"Then why haven't you told everyone the truth? That I never stalked you, that Elise did, that it was all a lie and-"

"I have, everyone I could get to listen, I told. I told them as soon as Elise left." He says.

It makes sense that you never heard of him doing so. You've avoided everyone from highschool since you graduated. That would definitely explain the lack of stares and whispering at the dance hall. Your presence no longer caused anxiety in everyone, because they knew the truth.

"Why didn't you ever call the police on her Buck?" You ask, slipping back into the habit of using his nickname. His shoulders relax a little bit when he hears it leave your lips.

"What good would that do? She's too young to go to jail, so the only other place they'd put her in is the asylum." He says, his voice very serious.

You start to feel very sorry for Elise. She has all that beauty, but she's so very sick. You understand how somebody could be that crazy over James, he's everything a girl could want. Your mind wanders to what all Elise must have been through in order to be so unstable. Your heart aches for the girl you only spoke to once. You had seen her around school a handful of times now that you think about it hard enough. Always smiling, always talking to somebody, always looking so pretty. Even after she ruined prom for both of you, even after she stalked him at his house and damaged his property, he didn't want to ruin her life.

"Her friends came and talked to me after she started driving by my house. Of course I asked them what was wrong with her, all they could say was that her parents were both too obsessed with their wealthy socialite lives to give her the time of day, so she became desperate for any attention she could get, to the point of getting involved with faculty. They told me her family was moving eventually and begged me to let them and Elise's parents deal with the situation. That way Elise wouldn't get herself into a bigger mess." He says the last part with a low serious voice, your jaw drops when you catch his implication.

"Good God." You gape at him.

"So they begged you to wait until she had moved to tell everyone the truth, so she wouldn't snap and get herself into legal trouble?" You ask, filling in the blanks, everything making sense now.

He nods, "She left two weeks after graduation. She came to my house and cried on my porch for two hours the morning they moved."

He seems like he feels guilty, like he wishes he had done more.

"There's a million things I could have done differently, and I'm so sorry for all the things I should have done. I'm sorry for not telling you everything right away, I'm sorry for being so fucking cold to you at prom, I-"

"James." You say, reaching across the table to grab his hand, he stills completely and looks at you like a deer in headlights.

"It's ok. It was all a shitshow, and you were doing the best you could. I understand now, I can see how you were just trying to protect everyone. It's ok." You tell him.

Every ounce of anger and pain has left your body. It all makes sense now. James did all that he could to keep everyone involved from hurting anymore than they already were. At his own expense, maybe his execution wasn't flawless, but he did everything he could to make it right. He's still doing everything he can. He's sitting here with you, begging you for another chance, owning up to all the ways he fucked up. Had he really though? You realize something you haven't yet, James may very well have the biggest heart of anyone you know. Filled with enough kindness to even want to protect a person who made his life hell.

"She's sick James, you didn't want to fuck her life up anymore than it already had been. I don't blame you for that, I don't blame you for how you handled it." You explain.

God this night has done a complete turn around. As soon as you saw him, you agreed to talking with him and you fully expected him to tell you that he and Elise had been together all along, that he had gotten caught up in the moment with you and that he was sorry for leading you on. You never imagined that James had been carrying this load all by himself the past few months. It's all absolutely insane, and incredibly difficult to wrap your mind around. You feel so much relief at the fact that James had never lied to you about his feelings, and a significant amount of guilt for never reaching out to him to give him a chance to explain.

"I'm sorry that I never even-"

"Doll, don't. You had every reason to cut me out of your life. You were trying to protect yourself." He says, he squeezes your hand for reassurance.

You feel like you should have trusted what you shared that afternoon instead of acting purely on emotion, then maybe you would have been able to heal quicker. Then you remember the sensitive timeline with Elise, she would have done everything in her power to ruin what you and James have if she had been around to see it. Everything that happened had to happen that way for the safety of everyone involved.

"I haven't stopped loving you. I can't, I know I can't. Which sounds absolutely fucking insane, but I just feel it. You're still the most incredible thing I've ever seen." He says.

You don't even feel like you're in the diner anymore, it feels like you've floated to the roof and you're suspended in the sky, high off of the feeling of being loved again.

"It's ok if you can't say it back, I know we've only really spent half of a day together, but I've been miserable without you and I can't see myself ever feeling this way about somebody else so, I know what I feel. I know that I love you." He says it like somebody's about to cover his mouth to stop him from telling you.

You open your mouth to tell him that you love him too, that everything is ok, that you guys are going to figure it out, but you freeze when you hear the bell of the door jingle then see a large man in uniform walk through the door. You feel your entire body tense up, anxiety welling in your chest as your throat closes and your palms begin to sweat.

"Oh shit." You say quietly.

It's fucking Daniel, how the hell did he find you? He's accompanied by the boy that danced with Molly, and one other stocky blond man.

"What?" He asks, bewildered he turns his head towards the door.

"Oh shit." He says, whipping his head back around to look at you with terrified eyes.

"What's the plan if he-" James starts to say, but he's cut off by a loud voice.

"Hey punk, that's my girl you're sitting with." Daniel states, slurring his words just a little at the end.

James' chest inflates and he gives you a stern look. Anger flashes in his eyes.

"James don't." You try to say it as harshly as you can, but he's already moving before you can get the words out.

Everyone in the diner is frozen, watching with dropped jaws and wide eyes. Even the wait staff has paused to observe, those behind the counter have halted their cooking so they can gawk. This stupid small town, everyone's always so desperate for drama.

"Oddly enough, I don't remember her ever agreeing to be your girl." James starts, rolling up his sleeves as he talks. Is this idiot really about to try and fight off three soldiers?

"-but you don't strike me as a man who cares too much about consent." He says, dropping his voice a little to stress the weighty implications of his words.

Daniel's fists ball up at his sides, his friends start to glance around the diner with anxious eyes.

"Boys, if there's to be a fight y'all better take it outside." One of the older waitresses says loudly, obviously sick and tired of all these young bucks bringing their nonsense into her diner.

"What a great idea ma'am. Shall we gentlemen?" James asks with all the confidence in the world. God he really is an idiot.

"James-" You start, but the men are already stomping through the door into the parking lot.

"Fucking hell." You huff, you throw money down on the table out of your clutch, inevitably taking out way too much for some shakes and a plate of fries.

"Keep the change!" You say with an urgent voice as you gather yourself and run towards the door.

The boys have circled around to the side of the building, horrible fluorescent lights illuminating the scene. They've got James completely surrounded, almost backing him into a wall already. You know you aren't going to be able to stop this, not with all the damn testosterone and adrenaline already pumping through all of them. The most you can do is make sure it's a fair fight.

"Alright look. If y'all are gonna fight, you're not going to do this bullshit where you just outnumber him so you can win." You nearly shout.

"This is between James and Daniel, you goons need to step off." You say it like you're a strict teacher telling them off for whispering in class. You can't fucking believe that you're playing referee for this idiotic dick measuring contest.

"Unless you're all cowards who don't feel like you could beat him unless the fight is unfair." You finish then cross your arms, your plan to challenge their masculinity obviously working.

"I could take this prick in my sleep." Daniel says, rolling up his sleeves with clumsy drunk hands, "Watch and learn boys." His two friends glance at each other then take the cue to step back and let this fight be his.

James gives you a quick look, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a cocky smirk. His eyes say thank you, while he rolls his shoulders back and brings his fists up while Daniel steps towards him. Your fool in shining armor runs a hand through his hair and winks at you, you assume to thank you for getting Daniel's cronies to back off. You internally curse him for looking so damn handsome.

"Was one hit not enough pal? You want some more?" James says, cocky as ever. Your stomach twists with nerves, he's pushing it. He and Daniel are about the same size. Daniel is maybe an inch or two taller, but James has more bulk to him. Of course you want to say James is going to win, but it could really go either way.

Daniel sneers at him then cracks his knuckles, taking a hulking step towards James. James opens his mouth to make another snarky remark, but is cut short by Daniel's fist landing right on his jaw. Right where you hit him earlier. It makes a horrible cracking sound and blood sprays out of his mouth. You gasp and have to fight the urge to run and stand between them, knowing that would only make James more bent on fighting for you.

He seems completely dazed by the impact, stumbling back while he holds his face. He pulls his right hand away to look at the blood pouring out of his mouth. Before you can even process it, Daniel lunges at James, knocking him to the ground. They both smack on the pavement with a grunt, Daniel has James pinned to the ground and he just starts swinging, hitting anywhere he can, much like you did earlier. Except Daniel is drawing blood. James has his arms up, acting like a cage over his face. They're taking most of the blows, but Daniel occasionally gets his fist through to hit his face again.

"Fucking do something!" You scream at his gawking friends. They both jump and look at each other, not having any idea what to do.

"Stop!" You scream, running over to where Daniel is still laying into James.

You know you won't stand a chance just using your fists, so all you can think to do is kick. Kick like hell. You run up to Daniel, you bring your upper body in tight then let your right leg swing forward, bringing your foot full force into Daniel's face. He howls and falls back off of James, who takes the opportunity to jump and scramble backwards.

"You fucking whore!" Daniel yells, standing up to stalk towards you. That's when his friends finally intervene, each grabbing an arm to hold him back.

"Call the police, somebody call the police!" A woman's voice yells from behind you. You look wildly around, unaware of the crowd that had gathered.

Daniel and his friends panic at those words, faces white as they scramble back towards their car. Daniel turns and spits at you, swearing under his breath while his friends drag him away.

You hear James groan and your heart freezes in your chest. He's lying flat on his back, hands holding his face.

"Oh God, James." You run to him and drop to your knees. There's blood coming from his nose and his mouth, and his left eye is already swelling. He lets out a breathy laugh, gazing at you with heavy eyelids.

"I'm alright doll, doesn't hurt half as bad as when you socked me." He says, lopsided smirk spreading across his lips.

"You fucking idiot. Bucky, what the hell were you thinking?" You ask, cradling his head, you wipe his hair off of his forehead and cup his jaw. He looks up at you with an earnest look in his bright blue eyes, they appear almost silver in this lighting.

"He said you were his girl." He says with a weak voice.

"So?!" You almost yell at him, but you catch yourself.

"You're my girl." He says simply, then he winces and screws his eyes shut. His face relaxes and his head goes limp and falls to the side. Your chest fills with terror.

"James? James!" You yell, shaking him while you do. You know he isn't dead, but he's still unconscious, and that's enough to panic you. You hear somebody yell about an ambulance, but all you can focus on is James. God, this is all your fault.

@b-o-n-e-daddy @lillsrecs @all-art-is-quite-useless @brownlee-22 @peace-love-hobbitness @pinknerdpanda @supernaturalwintersoldier @can-i-sin-right-now @pennyroyalcreep @jessyballet @calwitch @aurora-sweet @learisa

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  Breaking the Curse

Chapter 30:  His Real Name

He was waiting for his arraignment. Or at least that's what Emma thought he was waiting for. In reality, he was waiting for Dove to get him out of this mess, for Moe French to wake and say he wouldn't be pressing charges, for him to give whatever story Dove forced him to give so that he could get out of this place. He was waiting to go after Regina and find Belle's cup, which was still out there in the world somewhere. This wouldn't be done until he had it back. He'd burn down the whole fucking town to find it if he had to. And he knew who he was going to start with this time.

Regina. It was always Regina. He'd been stupid in trying to go through Moe French, in trying to deny what was obviously happening. He was paying for it now. But in a few hours, when Dove finished his work, he'd go to Regina. He'd get his property back. He'd find a way to make this work in his favor. He always did. And if it didn't? Well, the Curse was cast. He was in the World Without Magic. He didn't technically need Regina anymore. She could be dealt with any way that he needed to deal with her; any way that got him his cup back…

"Pastrami…you want half?"

He glanced through the bars to Emma, who sat eating her lunch in her office. This wasn't the first time she'd tried to engage him in conversation. She tried the first half of the night before finally leaving him alone to rest for a few hours and then tried again this morning when she gave him some childish pastry as a "breakfast." She'd tried to talk to him…she'd failed. She forgot, he was a lawyer. He knew better than to talk to her, no matter how tired or angry or hungry for real food he was.

"You know, I still owe you that favor. Nice, fatty pastrami; delicious way to clear the books."

"Well, I don't need a reminder that you owe me a favor," he answered. "And when the day comes that I make my request, it'll be for more than half a sandwich." It would be for his son. The last person on this earth who might still care about him. If he didn't have Belle's love or her cup, that was something to hold on to at least.

But suddenly, Emma didn't seem to care about his ominous threat. Suddenly her attention was no longer on him or her sandwich but someone else.

Regina Mills. She stood there as if by magic like his thoughts had summoned her.

And Henry, the real person Emma was interested in.

"Sheriff Swan? I'm letting you have thirty minutes with Henry. Take him out, buy him ice cream."

Oh…this was an interesting twist, one of great desperation. He knew from Dove's accounts that Emma hadn't spent time with her son in weeks; she hadn't been permitted to, not since the council meeting. Regina wouldn't offer up Henry, not unless she wanted to talk about something important. More important than Emma Swan's upcoming review and potential firing.

As she turned her gaze to him, sitting behind bars, he had a terrible feeling about what was about to happen. If he was right, the Evil Queen had just played her game well, even better than she had been before. If he was wrong…well…he couldn't think of a scenario where he was wrong. Fuck, what had he done?

"You want me to leave you alone with a prisoner?" Emma countered in disbelief.

Regina closed her eyes in irritation. "Twenty-nine and a half minutes," she snapped without looking at her. She couldn't. She was too busy staring at him like a mouse caught in a trap. Shit.

"Hi, Emma," the boy smiled. It was one that he, as a parent knew another parent would find tantalizing.

"Hey," Emma smiled back. He was fucked. By Regina of all people! Not exactly something he wanted the Swan to see. And if she knew, well…The Savior didn't "know" anything yet. She wasn't ready.

"Bring me back a cone?" he remarked calmly.

Control. He needed to regain his control. This wasn't the first deal he'd ever made, and he'd be damned if it was going to be his last. He just needed to start thinking like the Dark One and not like Mr. Gold.

As Emma exclaimed, "Just this once. Come on, let's go!" and ushered Henry out the door, leaving him alone with the former Evil Queen, he tried to remember his old tricks. He tried to remember how to regain control when he had so little of it. Unfortunately, the last time he'd had little control was when he was human, and he'd never negotiated his way out of that, not without fucking magic that he still didn't possess! But the stakes were as high. If this was about what he suddenly feared it was, then he couldn't afford to slip this up or be nervous. Control. He had to take it back. How?!

"Well, you really wanted that little chat, didn't you?"

"Apparently, this is the only way I could do it," she smiled, a wicked, evil smile that made his palms sweat. Her inner queen was showing, in a way that it hadn't been before, not in twenty-eight years. She was confident, sure of herself. And why shouldn't she be? She'd played him, just like he might have in the good ole days. And if she was so comfortable showing this side of herself…it was because she knew. This conversation, as far as she was concerned, was only a formality. She had him cornered. But he wasn't without tricks here; one, in particular, could come in handy, and without anything else at his disposal…

"Please – sit," he commanded, pointing at the sofa by his cell.

She obeyed. Power. Control. Though she'd initially grimaced when he'd given the order now that she was sitting again, she was smiling again too, grinning that same sinister grin she'd just had. If they were bound to have this conversation, then there was no possible way he was going to let her think she was running it, even if he knew she was. Dammit. When he'd pictured confronting her, it hadn't been like this.

"Now, when two people both want something the other has, a deal can always be struck. Do you have what I want?"

Her smile broadened so that she beamed. "Yes."

Fuck.

He let himself breathe deep, first with relief. Upsetting as that answer was, at least now he knew where Belle's treasure was. And now he knew it was safe. Regina wasn't stupid. She wouldn't hurt it; she'd use it as a bargaining chip. Bargaining for something unknown was the part that worried him after the relief wore off.

"So, you did put him up to it, then," he stated, revealing he wasn't ignorant to the way she worked.

"I merely suggested that strong men take what they need."

"Oh, yeah…and you told him just exactly what to take, didn't you?"

"We used to know each other so well, Mr. Gold. Has it really come down to this?"

"It seems it has, yeah," he nodded. So much pretense…if they were going to do this, then they may as well get to it. "But you know what I want, what is it you want?"

"I want you to answer one question," she hissed. "And answer it simply: what's your name?"

He smirked. She'd made an error, one that most amateurs in deal-making made. She hadn't been specific enough. "Answer one question simply" was not answer one question truthfully or honestly. "Simply"…simply gave him options.

"It's Mr. Gold."

Regina lowered her gaze and glared at him, the glare of an angry Queen who was sick of being lied to. "Your real name," she growled.

He felt no pressure. The deal had been to answer one question simply. Asking him his real name wasn't a requirement of the deal they'd struck, which meant he was free to respond as he saw fit. Even if he knew that there was no way this would work in his favor in the end. She held all the cards.

"Every moment I've spent on this earth, that's been my name."

"But what about moments spent elsewhere?" she questioned, finally realizing her own mistakes.

It was going to end the way it was going to end, but that didn't mean he couldn't have fun with it until it did, or at least attempt to evade her. He drew a look of confusion over his face and shook his head.

"What are you asking me?"

"I think you know," she stated, a reply full of double meaning. "If you want me to return what's yours, tell me your name."

And there it was. Her ace in the hole. He could sit here and use loophole after loophole, but there was no magic here. He could lie to her, adamantly refuse, but then what of Belle's teacup. If she walked out of here angry, then he risked its safety. That would seem a proper punishment to Regina. And he could say "please," ask her to "please" return his property…but another "please" at a time like this would damn near confirm it anyway. Pretend all he could, but she had the advantage. She had him in a corner, his back to the wall.

Dammit, Regina had won.

She was going to get the answer she wanted or leave him with nothing. At least this way, he'd get his ace back.

He felt his lips curl into a sneer as he let out a breath of defeat and finally whispered the truth Emma wasn't ready to believe.

"Rumpelstiltskin…"

The moment he said the words, Regina's grin vanished and fear overshadowed her. Odd reaction. For someone who had seemed so sure of herself, she suddenly looked like she'd been hoping she was wrong. Pity. One should never make a deal they weren't prepared for. Finally, he clawed at the bars and pulled himself up to his feet before she could go back on her deal in a Land Without Magic where revenge would be twice as hard. She would keep this deal!

"Now give me what I want."

"Such hostility?" Her Majesty mocked.

"Oh, yeah!"

Finally, she turned to the bag she'd brought, reached inside, and produced…Belle's chipped cup.

Safe.

Sound.

In one piece, save for the chip that made it so special.

The sight of it, the knowledge that it was safe and back in his presence, nearly made his heart stop.

"Over this?" she questioned, dangling it in front of him, forcing him to reach through the bars to try and grasp it. "Such a sentimental little keepsake."

Finally, his fingers closed over it and he pulled it through the bars. "Thank you…Your Majesty," he mocked, holding it tight in his hands.

Safe and sound. He inspected it, checking for further damage but found none. That was something, at least. Ironic…he'd wanted to spend Valentine's Day alone with this cup…he might get his wish after all. So long as he could get rid of Regina.

"So. Now that we're being honest with each other, let's remember how things used to be, shall we? And don't let these bars fool you, dear. I'm the one with the power around here. I'm going to be out of here in no time, and nothing between us will change."

Suddenly Regina got to her feet. She gripped the bars and pressed her face close to the bars. "We shall see," she hissed before taking her leave.

He was afraid. Things were bad already, at risk. And now Regina had won, forced him to reveal his hand too early. This was bad. But as he looked down and beheld the cup in his hand, no sooner had a small voice in the back of his head whispered "was it worth it" than a louder voice proclaimed, without question, "yes, Belle was always worth it."

[deadlyanddelicate]

tbh i get queer fans being mad/sad about kavinsky being killed off in that yeah, bury your guys can always be upsetting no matter the character. but it's weird to me when people go the 'he didn't DESERVE it blah blah' route because like, that has nothing to do with the trope. like i agree with queer characters always getting killed off being exhausting, but i don't get people going hard for this particular character lmao

hmm i… sort of agree. i guess i can understand fans being sad about kavinsky being killed off if they empathise with him, even though personally i just… can’t imagine relating to a character like that. but i honestly, genuinely don’t believe he’s an example of Bury Your Gays. it would be BYG if kavinsky was the only queer rep in the books, or even he killed himself specifically for being gay… which, no matter what people argue, he didn’t. but rather than give my opinion on it, i’m gonna take this chance to go through the trope systematically and explain why the shoe doesn’t fit. it’s meta time!

Why Kavinsky Dying is Not “Bury Your Gays”

[All quotes are taken directly from TvTropes, though the emphasis is mine.]

The Bury Your Gays trope in media, including all its variants, is a homophobic cliché. It is the presentation of deaths of LGBT characters where these characters are nominally able to be viewed as more expendable than their heteronormative counterparts. In this way, the death is treated as exceptional in its circumstances. In aggregate, queer characters are more likely to die than straight characters. Indeed, it may be because they seem to have less purpose compared to straight characters, or that the supposed natural conclusion of their story is an early death.

Kavinsky is never viewed as “more expendable than his heteronormative counterparts”. If you see Kavinsky as simply Ronan’s foil, then the reasoning doesn’t apply, because Ronan is gay himself, so he can’t be a “heteronormative counterpart”. However, Kavinsky apologists like to latch on to Gansey’s “We matter” quote to prove Kavinsky is treated as unimportant – but that’s a fallacy for several reasons. First, you’re taking Gansey to speak for the author, or for objective truth, when Gansey is one of the most unreliable narrators in the book, and his world view is extremely biased. Secondly, Gansey isn’t Kavinsky’s counterpart. Kavinsky is an antagonist, so you have to look at what happens to the other antagonists – his actual heteronormative counterparts. And, well: they pretty much ALL get killed off. Not just that, but they often get killed off in a way that does not have the emotional/narrative impact implied in Kavinsky’s death. By that reckoning, he gets the better shake. Additionally, we get 4 heteronormative villains killed off - Whelk, Neeve, Colin, and Piper. So in the series, queer characters are not more likely to die than straight characters (even among the protagonists, Gansey and Noah are the ones who “die”, where Ronan and Adam do not).

The reasons for this trope have evolved somewhat over the years. For a good while, it was because the Depraved Homosexual trope and its ilk pretty much limited portrayals of explicitly gay characters to villainous characters, or at least characters who weren’t given much respect by the narrative. This, conversely, meant that most of them would either die or be punished by the end. 

This is not applicable to TRC, as portrayals of explicitly queer characters are not limited to villainous characters; Adam and Ronan are both explicitly queer and they are treated with huge amounts of respect by the narrative. So Kavinsky isn’t being killed for being the odd one out/the Token Evil Queer; plus, there are other reasons why he doesn’t fit the Depraved Homosexual trope (while sexual molestation is a part of this trope, TVTropes encourages you to “think of whether he’d be any different if he wasn’t gay” – and Kavinsky wouldn’t. Not only because DHs are usually extremely camp while Kavinsky’s mannerisms aren’t particularly queer-coded, but also because he is not shown to have any more respect for women than he does for men, and his abuse would look the same if he was straight).

However, as sensitivity to gay people became more mainstream, this evolved into a sort of Rule-Abiding Rebel “love the sinner, hate the sin” attitude. You could have sympathetic queer characters, but they would still usually be “punished” for their queerness in some way so as to not anger more homophobic audiences, similar to how one might write a sympathetic drug addict but still show their addiction in a poor light. 

Again: Neither Ronan nor Adam – the two sympathetic queer characters – are punished for being queer, hence subverting this form of the trope.

This then transitioned into the Too Good for This Sinful Earth narrative, where stories would tackle the subject of homophobia and then depict LGBT characters as suffering victims who die tragic deaths from an uncaring world. The AIDS crisis also contributed to this narrative, as the Tragic AIDS Story became its own archetype, popularized by films like Philadelphia. 

Okay, this is DEFINITELY not Kavinsky’s case. Kavinsky’s death isn’t specifically connected to being gay (e.g.: a hate crime or an STD), and he’s never depicted as some innocent suffering victim. As for the “uncaring world”… eh. Kavinsky may not have a valid support system, but that’s just as much by choice as by chance - and when Ronan extends a helping hand and tries to save him, Kavinsky rejects it. Too Good For This Sinful Earth is definitely not in play. 

The only trope that kind of fits the bill is Gayngst-Induced Suicide… but only on the surface. As TVTrope puts it, Gayngst-Induced Suicide is “when LGBT characters are Driven to Suicide because of their sexuality, either because of internalized homophobia (hating themselves) or experiencing a miserable life because of their “deviant” gender or sexuality: having to hide who they are, not finding a stable relationship, homophobia from other parties, etc.”. Kavinsky certainly has quite a bit of internalized homophobia, but he is absolutely not experiencing a miserable life because of his sexuality – i.e. he’s not being bullied or taunted or subejcted to hate crimes. He doesn’t have to hide who he is: his parents are effectively out of the picture, his cronies worship him, and he constantly makes gay jokes to Ronan and Gansey. As for “not finding a stable relationship”… well that’s not exactly the problem, is it. He’s not looking for a stable relationship – he’s pursuing Ronan specifically, obsessively, through stalking and abuse. So even this trope is not applicable. 

And then there are the cases of But Not Too Gay or the Bait-and-Switch Lesbians, where creators manage to get the romance going but quickly avoid showing it in detail by killing off one of the relevant characters. 

Once again this is not the case with Kavinsky, as 1) there was no romance going between him and Ronan, and 2) he is not killed off before the nature of his obsession with Ronan is revealed – he gets the chance to both admit (sort of) he wants Ronan, and to confront Ronan about his sexuality, to which Ronan admits that yes, he is gay, but he is not interested in Kavinsky. So, there is no But Not Too Gay nor any Bait-and-Switch here. 

Also known as Dead Lesbian Syndrome, though that name has largely fallen out of use post-2015 and the media riots about overuse of the trope. And, as this public outcry restated, the problem isn’t merely that gay characters are killed off: the problem is the tendency that gay characters are killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters, or when the characters are killed off because they are gay.

This is a very good definition of the trope and why it doesn’t apply to Kavinsky: he’s not killed off because he’s gay, and he’s not killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters; TRC is definitely not overwhelmingly diverse, but 2 of the 4 protagonists are queer, giving us a solid 50% ratio (I’m not counting Noah because his “character” status is vague, and I’m not counting Henry because he came in so late, and also because his sexuality is the matter of much speculation).

For a comparison that will make it even clearer: take a show like Supernatural. Supernatural’s range of characters is almost entirely presented as straight white cis men (as of canon – despite much of the fandom’s hopes and speculation). They’ve had problems with diversity in general, with a lot of black characters dying immediately, and a lot of women getting fridged for plot advancement or male angst (a different problematic trope altogether). Now, apart from minor inconsequential cameos, Supernatural had ONE recurring gay character: Charlie Bradbury. And they killed her off for no discernible reason other than plot advancement and male angst, in a context that had elements of Too Good For This Sinful Earth (Charlie being a fan-favourite, ~pure cinnamon roll~, being killed by actual nazis, who historically targeted gay people). See, THAT was Bury Your Gays, AND Dead Lesbian Syndrome, AND Fridging…

However, sometimes gay characters die in fiction because, well, sometimes people die. There are many Anyone Can Die stories: barring explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight deaths in these, it’s not odd that the gay characters are dying. The occasional death of one in a Cast Full of Gay is unlikely to be notable, either.

…But that is not the case with TRC. As I’ve said above, there are no explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight villain deaths. Kavinsky’s death is not Bury Your Gays; it’s Anyone Can Die – even a protagonist’s foil who has magic powers and is present for most of the book.

Believe me, I would not be cavalier about this. As you rightly said, queer characters always getting killed off is exhausting, and as a bi woman myself, I am deeply affected by instances of Bury Your Gays. When Supernatural killed off Charlie, I wrote a novel-length fix-it fic and basically stopped watching the show – a show I had been following, flaws and all, for 10 years. I don’t take it lightly. But Kavinsky’s death isn’t Bury Your Gays, nor is it homophobia. Sometimes, a character death is just a character death.