#her hair's brown because corporate dress code

[ghostoffuturespast]

Prologue: The Corpo-Rat

Part I

The Corpo-Rat: Part I Part II Part III

[jaz-rey]

[ kathryn bernardo, cis-woman, she/her ] Look who just landed! REYNA JAZMYN DIZON, I sure hope you packed all you need. Perhaps you’re not worried as a STREET RACER. The city has plenty of spots for a 28-year-old HUMAN like you. You’ll be known in the city soon enough as BAKUNAWA, being TENACIOUS and RASH.

OOC INFO

Ven, PST, she/they

Muse’s Name(s): Aramonta Xia Wei, Reyna Jazmyn Dizon

Tagging System: HERE

Intro: HERE

STATISTICS

Full Name: Reyna Jazmyn Dizon

Nickname: RJ, Jazrey, JR/Junior, Naga, Bakunawa

Date of Birth: July 31, 2377

Gender: Cis-woman

Pronouns: She/her

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic

Current Age: 28

Modification: N/A, Human

Affiliation: Unaffiliated

Birthplace: New Jakarta, Mars

Current Neighbourhood: Mawar District

Occupation: Street Racer

Known Languages: Bahasa Indonesian, Japanese, English, Tagalog, Cebuano

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Kathryn Bernardo

Height: 5'2"

Eye Colour: Dark Brown, will don coloured contacts - favourites are a light brown

Hair Colour: Dark

Clothing Style: before she got fired, she was a corporate chic, heels for days, 5'2" with a 6'2" attitude type of girl who looked to belong with X Academy elite but off hours, she favours jumpsuits, sweats, sneakers, and dresses as if she’s straight out of hip hop dance practice. Duality is her thing so if she has a reason, she'd go back to corpo Reyna, but she'll settle for occasionally putting on some fashionable boots. These days, she also likes jackets with lots of pockets because as a former engineer, why wouldn’t she have tools on person? You’ll regularly find her with her black gloves on; they’ve got dragon serpents on them

Jewelry: several ear piercings and occasionally a belly button ring

Tattoos: on her back, A Sampaguita flower (Arabian jasmine), 7 moons, Serpents/dragons as a call out to her culture and her street racing name, Bakunawa AKA the bent snake, moon eater of Philippine mythology

Marks/Scars: A 2 inch jagged, vertical scar above her left ear and underneath her hair, close to her temple, and a half inch in diameter circular scar at the base of her neck

Modifications: N/A

Scent/Fragrance: GASOLINE Jk jk, she smells like Carolina Herrera’s Good Girl Blush

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: tenacious, spontaneous, perceptive, creative

Neutral Traits: hard-working, superstitious, unsentimental, restrained

Negative Traits: rash, indecisive, stubborn, withdrawn, tactless

Peeves: when people fart in her car, the way cheese dares to smell the way it does

Fears: her father, small spaces, becoming her father

Skills: bio/engineering, toxin purification, street racing, tooling, coding, fabrication skills, poison resistance

Goals: Getting a real job again, not being poor, breaking sexism in the engineering workplace

FAVOURITES

Likes: Plushies (stuffed veggies with cute faces are a fave), cheese corn ice cream, the mini screwdriver set she stole from X Academy

Dislikes: Ethanol-based liquids, Traffic violations, bricked engines 

Hobbies: Street Racing, Tinkering, Potion brewing/cocktail making

Habits: nail biting (it’s why she wears gloves), gambling on street races, carrying a functional hot sauce keychain, flipping a coin

One Cherished Item: Pressed souvenir coin from the Philippines (taken from her mom’s knick knack stash)

OVERVIEW

She never got the chance to form any memories of her mother and the memories she had of her father were traumatic at best. He was a man addicted to his vices and often at the expense of her. Low on credits, and feeling responsible for the family’s survival, Reyna became entangled with a local street racing crew. She would work on their cars with them and serve as a runner for materials. She found a family in the crew, but it wasn’t enough to save her from her father’s neglect and mistreatment.  Reyna was barely 17 when she stole the family savings and enrolled herself in a boarding school to get away from him. From then on she worked hard to secure a life she could call her own. Her academic achievements put her on X Academy’s radar and through their scholarship program, she attended a university on earth, gaining bachelor’s and master’s degrees in engineering. After graduation, X Academy invited her back to Mars to put her through an expedited internship program. They later converted her into a full-time employee due to her toxin production and purification work. Much of her studies and professional career was focused on creating and manipulating hazardous materials to reduce Mist-related risks.  During her time with X Academy, she also ‘had the privilege’ and was paid handsomely to join project ‘Nahash,’ a secretive project aiming to create hextech organs. They successfully integrated hextech into her skin and have it correspond with her hextech gloves. She contributed to the project using her bioengineering skills by combining her toxins research with the hextech bio-integration. She had two goals for this project: to create a safer alternative to cyber-augmentations and to develop a more effective security system for those who worked near the Mists. Though she was a talented engineer, not too long after touching down in New Jakarta, she quickly sought comfort from her found family and fell back into street racing. Taking on the codename of “Bakunawa,” based on Philippine mythology’s moon-eating serpent, she graduated from a runner to a racer. No longer focused on her day job, she became good at her night job while using her engineering prowess and X Academy resources to improve her car. Of course, since all things ended, she was eventually terminated from X Academy with the threat of grand larceny charges. Luckily, though, the threat never materialized. In exchange for maintaining an NDA and revoking her access to her hextech, she left the job with a cushy deal and a slap on her wrist. That should have been the end, but Reyna grew attached to her science and wanted it back. Now, trying to keep her spirits up, she’s entering her era of funemployment and trying her best. Hopefully, she can keep out of trouble this time, but who knows if she has it in her to resist her desires? 

FUN FACTS

She is half-siblings with Val. They don't know they're related yet

When she goes to the slums, she's known as Bakunawa or Naga for short.

Reyna has a high tolerance for natural poisons because of her studies. 

She is smol and proud of it. 

She’s saving up money for Hextech or stealing it back, whichever comes first.

[fific7]

Cold Day in Hell - Part 1

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: This does not completely follow canon, it’s mainly lemon zest 🍋 because the world needs more Logan Delos.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in future chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

Logan Delos was bored. Mind-numbingly, screamingly, terminally bored. He was rapping out an irritated drum solo on the arm of his chair with his long fingers. He was shifting in his seat, constantly crossing and un-crossing his long legs. He was moving the papers on the conference table in front of him from side to side, then backwards and forwards.

The businessman who was talking through the main presentation had a voice that was flatter than roadkill and had only one tone... monotone.

Logan leant forward and propped his elbows on the conference table in front of him, using his fingers to physically hold open his eyelids as they kept closing of their own accord. He felt a yawn coming on and fought to stop his mouth opening to accommodate it... but failed.

He was aware of the door to the conference room opening behind him but didn’t even have the energy to turn and see who it was. This asshole is draining the fucking will to live out of me, he thought. He vaguely heard said asshole saying something about his colleague talking through the next section of the presentation.

Logan sat right up in his seat as he spotted a beautiful - no, stunning - woman making her way to the front of the room. She was dressed in ‘business smart’ but even those sensible items couldn’t hide her curves. Her hair was pinned up, and he had already started fantasising about loosening it and running his hands through it. He wished he’d paid attention when Asshole had said her name. Or had he said her name? Logan had no idea.

He heard her starting to speak, a melodic voice... he had to know her name! Logan tutted and picked up the meeting agenda, riffling back and forth through the pages to get to the correct one, but wasn’t even sure what page he should be on. Suddenly the folder tumbled from his hands and clattered onto the floor. The talking stopped and he became aware of everyone’s eyes on him, including hers. In fact, she was kind of glaring at him.

He gave an apologetic wave to the room in general as he retrieved the folder from the floor. She began speaking again, and he resumed his page-riffling. Finally he found the current one, and there was her name in black and white. A melodic name to match her voice, he thought.

He started paying attention to what she was actually saying.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d just started your part of the presentation when some asshole dropped his agenda folder, the sharp noise bringing you to a screeching halt. When you saw a hand waving around in the air, your eye followed the arm down to its owner and noted that he was in fact a very good-looking asshole. But he was still an asshole.

You cleared your throat, trying to collect your thoughts and then launched back into your presentation. The asshole was now staring at you relentlessly; every single time your eyes swept the room, his dark eyes were on you. Like... always on you. Not like the others, who were at least glancing down at the handouts occasionally.

The section you were presenting drew to a close, and you now took an empty seat at the table. It was diagonally opposite the handsome asshole. Who was still staring at you.

Now that you were much closer, you could see that his eyes were a dark chocolate brown, with a wicked gleam in them. They matched his shining dark hair, which was immaculately swept back from his forehead. You boldly met his stare for a while, before breaking eye contact to listen to your colleague Craig deliver the final part.

At the end of the presentation there were a few questions which were duly answered, and then everyone was gathering up their paperwork and milling around prior to leaving the conference room. As you tucked your folders away in your document bag, in your peripheral vision you became aware of a pair of long legs making their way to you. You knew who it was bound to be so you didn’t bother looking up. A throat cleared next to you but you continued packing away your items, and then you heard your first name being spoken in a low, husky voice. This time you did look up - it would be rude not to - and yup, it was Handsome Asshole. A hand was proffered to you and by reflex you took it, your hand being crushed in a strong grip. “Logan Delos,” said that suave voice, “...it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?” you scoffed, “...how original!” while thinking, oh... so this is the infamous Logan Delos, whose name you’d heard all the time in connection with the projects but never actually met before. He had a reputation of being a bit of a diva. You heard him give a deep chuckle. “Yeah, that’s me - an original. Unique, in fact I’d say.” “Well, you’re super confident, that’s for sure!” You picked up your document bag and headed for the door, saying “Nice to meet you, Mr Delos,” as you started to leave. His tall frame scooted round in front of you before you could reach it, “Oh, not so fast.... I can’t let you leave before you agree to have dinner with me.” You tried to sidestep him but he blocked your way, and then a little ‘step to the right, step to the left’ dance ensued. Finally, exasperated, you stood still and put your hands on your hips. “Mister Delos! Will you please let me past!” He copied your stance, “Not until you say you’ll have dinner with me. Or lunch. Or.... breakfast, if you prefer?!” wiggling his eyebrows at you. You huffed, “I don’t date business partners!” He still stood in front of you, seemingly immovable, “We’re not business partners - technically speaking. Boring Asshole is my business partner, not you.” Your mouth dropped open but before you could stop it, laughter bubbled out.

You hastily silenced it, saying, “I admit, Craig may not be the most inspiring public speaker, but he really knows his stuff,” trying to cover your somewhat indiscreet reaction and save your colleague’s honour at the same time. “But that’s beside the point, Mr Delos, because we are business partners despite what you’re trying to say.” Logan had moved slightly aside while you were speaking and you took this opportunity to brush past him, calling out, “Goodbye, Mr Delos,” with the emphasis on the goodbye as you went.

If you’d bothered to look back, you would’ve seen Logan Delos watching you go, a very determined expression on his face.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Juliet looked up from her laptop as Logan breezed into her lounge, tossing his car keys onto the coffee table and throwing himself onto the sofa, long legs spreading out in front of him as he did so.

“Good meeting?” she asked, seeing that his head had gone back onto the cushions and he was staring up at the ceiling. He hummed, “Good and bad. The presentation was the single most boring thing I’ve ever heard in my life, but on the other hand one of their staffers.... wow! It was like an angel came down from heaven and found her way into that conference room.” She sighed, “Logan... by all that’s holy... do not try to screw one of our business partners for god’s sake! Dad will go ballistic if you mess up our working relationship with them.” Logan looked offended, “Who says I’d mess it up?” Jules gave a big sigh and shrugged, “Me, for one. Dear brother, I love you with all my heart but you’re fucking awful at relationships. You’d just fuck her and drop her like a hot potato. Who is it that caught your roving eye this time anyway?” Logan said her name in a dreamy tone and Jules rolled her eyes heavenwards, “Oh, no, no, no!... no way, Logan. I know her, she’s a lovely person and also does a fantastic job - she’s one of their top software engineers, specialising in middleware.”

Logan smirked, “She can engineer my middleware anytime she likes.” “Oh, shut up and get your mind out of your pants, Logan. Stay away, okay?!!” He huffed, “Hey! You can’t tell me who to pursue or otherwise, Jules!” “But that’s it, right there - you’ll chase her, catch her, bang her and drop her! I really like her as well as respecting her work, so you better just be damn careful!”

Logan sighed. He loved his sister but god, she was a king-size pain in the ass sometimes.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

A week or so later, and you’d almost forgotten about that handsome asshole at the presentation. You couldn’t deny that he’d popped in and out of your thoughts since, but you’d googled him the day after you’d met him and had also made some discreet enquiries amongst those colleagues who’d worked with him before on projects. What you’d discovered had not endeared him to you.

He was a world-class player, that was obvious - and not fussy about which gender he played around with either. Not that that put you off, it was just the sheer volume of men and women he was pictured out on the town with. And alcohol and substance abuse had been there in the mix too, with some stays in rehab mentioned although the last one had been over a year ago. So no... you’d decided you wouldn’t be entertaining any further thoughts of the undeniably attractive Mr Delos.

You turned your thoughts back to the current middleware solution you were constructing, in fact it was for Delos Corporation, involving various scenarios for their Westworld hosts. You were immersed in code and structure when your phone rang, and you saw your boss’s extension number on the caller ID. Hmmm... what could she want? She usually gave you free reign when you working on a project, catching up with you every couple of days at team meetings. Answering it, you heard her assertive voice asking you to pop along to her office and so you set off on the short walk there. You knocked on her door and heard her say ‘come in’, so in you sailed and then came to an abrupt halt. Logan Delos was sitting opposite your boss; he was half-turned towards you with a somewhat triumphant smirk on his face. Your boss indicated the chair next to Logan and you quickly sat down, wondering what this was about and why Logan looked so smug.

Your boss launched into a mini-summary of what you were currently working on, and all you could do was nod. Eventually she finished up with, “So all your current projects are for Delos.” It was a statement not a question, so you just nodded. “Mr Delos here...” she levelled a hand towards Logan, “....has come up with a suggestion, and I happen to think it’s a good one.” She smiled at Logan, before looking back at you and continuing, “He thought it would be beneficial to have the person working on most of his projects - that’s you, just to clarify - to be based at Delos Destinations for the next three months, to facilitate progress.” You knew you were looking completely dumbfounded as she hurried on, “Obviously I’d like your input on this, but I’m sure you can see that it’d be very helpful for you to be on-site with our partners while you’re working through the projects?” Meanwhile you were desperately trying to come up with reasons to remain in your own office, but truthfully you couldn’t. It would be helpful to have instant access to their engineers when you needed an answer on something, you couldn’t deny that. Reluctantly you nodded, “Yes...I can appreciate that. But couldn’t we just have me spend maybe one or two days a week over there rather than be actually based in their offices?”

Logan spoke for the first time, his expression business-like now, “That wouldn’t really fulfill the brief though, would it? Because we’d be back to having a slight delay in receiving and giving responses for the time you weren’t at our offices. And I’d ... we’d... make you very welcome. There’s an office waiting for you... right next to mine.” He couldn’t stop that smirk reappearing as he finished speaking. You forced a smile, “Well, I can’t really refuse an offer like that, can I Mr Delos?” You looked back to your boss, “I guess that’s agreed then. When does this take effect?” Your boss beamed at you, “Excellent! I don’t see any reason for it not to commence immediately, do you? How about as of tomorrow?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan walked onto his office the next morning, whistling a happy little tune. He’d had a small glass of wine the night before at Juliet’s place when he’d dropped in on his way home, knowing he had to break the news to her that evening about the cunning plan he’d come up with. He was happy for two reasons; firstly, visiting Jules and his niece Emily and not having to see William’s stupid damn face any longer would never get old, and secondly, his little scheme to get closer to that gorgeous woman was coming together. As Jules worked partly from home and partly at the office, he had to let her know that a new face would be around for at least the next three months. It would give him a much better chance to persuade her to go out with him - she wouldn’t really be able to escape him given that she’d be right next door to him every day. Predictably, Juliet had issued a stern warning about what would happen to certain parts of his anatomy should he overstep, but had reluctantly accepted that it was a fait accompli. (Privately, she was looking forward to working more closely with her and also warning her about the usual antics of her beloved brother, that’s if she wasn’t already well aware of them).

He’d been racking his brains for ideas on how best to pursue her ever since she’d turned him down flat at that conference. Logan wasn’t used to being turned down. He’d had a brainwave a couple of days later and had checked into who was handling the Delos projects at her company - after all, surely she wouldn’t be at the conference in the first place if she wasn’t involved somehow? He’d been overjoyed to find out that she was handling just about all of the current open projects (so why on earth had they allowed Boring Asshole to give the majority of the presentation?! he’d thought incredulously) and had then begun to put together a plan to somehow get her into his close orbit. He was really quite proud of what he’d come up with.

His secretary knocked on his doorframe and announced that his visitor had arrived. A big smile appeared on Logan’s face.

Here I go! he thought, the thrill of the chase coursing through his veins.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The secretary smiled at you over her shoulder as she leaned against Logan’s office doorframe, “Please, go right in,” before stepping aside so you could enter.

The man himself was lounging back in his fancy office chair, which to you looked more like the type of padded seat you’d get on a private jet, waving you into the office before getting up and striding over to you. He held out his hand which you took but instead of shaking it as you expected, he pulled you towards him and kissed your cheek very softly. A waft of delicious and no doubt expensive cologne reached your nostrils before he stepped back, “Welcome on board!” he said, “...I’m so glad you’re joining us here at Delos Destinations.” You smiled, “Thank you, Mr Delos.” “Logan!” he said immediately, waving his hand and saying your first name. “Logan,” you said dutifully, “yes, thank you for the welcome ....of course I do still work for my own company.” He smiled at you, still holding onto your hand and beginning to lead you to the door, “Well, for now you do. I’ve a mind to steal you away for myself, you know. Or, sorry... for Delos Destinations, I should of course say.”

OK... seems like he’s still interested, even if that wouldn’t last longer than a heartbeat once you’d gone out (and especially if you slept) with him. You knew this secondment was going to be trouble, you thought. Three whole months of trying to resist Mr Player of the Decade. But you were convinced that you could do it.

As he lead you from his office to what was going to be yours, you were suddenly very aware of his tall figure beside you, your hand in his (he still hadn’t let go of it) and a hint of that beautiful cologne of his again. He looked across at you, dark eyes gazing into yours and gave you a mischievous grin. Annoyingly, your stomach did a little flip.

Yeah, really convinced.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(Not my GIF - credit to owner)

[mythgirlimagines]

Back with a brand new talentswap, you better keep your eyes peeled for the hybrid fashion consultant-fashion model-fashion critic, Myth Anon, the Former Ultimate Fashionista!

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BACKSTORY AND TALENT

Myth was born to two rather wealthy folks who both specialise in the fashion industry, with the father being a former male model turned seamster and the mother being a fashion designer and photographer. Even Myth’s sisters ended up getting careers in fashion, with her first eldest sister being an expert seamstress and her second eldest sister being a fashion designer. Considering her parentage, one would expect Myth to have quite the eye for fashion. Well, she does. But neither her parents nor her sisters knew just how impressive her skills at fashion-related matters are, ranging from modelling fashion, to fashion advice, to fashion trends, to even sewing, knitting and making fashion herself. Myth particularly specialises in the gyaru style. Eventually, Myth was accepting into Hope’s Peak under the umbrella title of “Ultimate Fashionista”, and her fashion skills are still going strong and even stronger, even as a young adult.

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RELATIONSHIPS

Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Soldier

Considering their two completely different talents and their completely different personalities, you would be surprised to learn that they have been friends ever since they were little. Ever since Wyre was sent to fight in a massive war, Myth prayed that her best friend would be alright, and emotionally rejoiced when Wyre came back from the earth-shattering war in one piece. Myth regularly exercises with Wyre (How else do you think she keeps her slim figure?), and Myth helps make Wyre confident in their various body scars and muscular build. At some point in their friendship, Wyre was also employed as Myth’s bodyguard, in order to ward off weirdos who want to get handsy with the model.

Outfit: A sleeveless camo hoodie, over a black tanktop, dark grey shorts with a brown belt, green socks and brown boots, black painted nails and friendship bracelets on her arms.

Anon Scar, Ultimate Fanfiction Author

Famous for her angsty and grimdark, yet simultaneously wholesome fanfiction under the online psuedonym of “The Keeper of Tomes”, Scar always tries to act like the evil and dramatic characters of her fanfiction, but this facade breaks fairly easily to reveal her true personality: a kind and maternal young lady who regularly frets over the other conmates. Myth and Scar regularly confide in each other over fretting about their common-sense-deprived allies, even if Myth isn’t all that keen on Scar‘s shonen-protagonist-esque outfit. However, for once, Myth is willing to let this fashion faux-pas slide, considering that Scar’s cosplay game is surprisingly amazing.

Outfit: A grey headband with a black swirl in the center, a black overcoat over a red hoodie, black fingerless gloves, a red scabbard housing a plastic sword, multiple belts, black pants and black boots with silver soles, mask from the original design

Fusion Anon, Ultimate Baseball Player

As the ace of the Lions, his hometown‘s local high school baseball team, Fusion is renowned amongst sports fanatics for his pitching strength and his skill in catching the fastest of throws. Fusion is also known amongst his teammates for acting a lot like a father figure to them, and for that, Fusion gets along very well with Myth. But while Myth is all for Fusion’s bright and colorful baseball uniform, she hardly ever sees Fusion outside of that, and his outfit just reeks of sweat. That, and Myth wishes Fusion would just tame that wild rat’s nest that he calls a “fro”. Little does Myth know, Fusion’s outfit and positive attitude hides a rail-thin and heavily injured body.

Outfit: A red and blue long-sleeved baseball jersey and a matching visor, black fingerless gloves, blue jeans, white socks and black and white baseball shoes, glasses from his original design.

Fusion Anon II, Ultimate Gambler

Despite being underage, Fusion II is a name to be feared in the gambling circuit, and for good reasons. Starting out her career as a timid little street rat, she quickly grew more confident and smug the more money that she gained and her skills at gambling tables only grew even further. At this point, having Fusion II at the gambling table is an automatic way to lose all of your money. Because of Fusion II’s penchant for formal wear and their similar attitudes, Myth gets along with Fusion II very well, and the friendship is very easily reciprocated on the gambler’s side. Fusion II really looks up to Myth and appreciates her advice, despite what her regular snide comments would suggest.

Outfit: A green jacket with card suit-themed buttons over a white dress shirt and a red tie, pants that match her jacket and a roulette wheel-themed belt, white platform shoes, the sunglasses from her original design.

Just Anon, Ultimate Martial Artist

Despite his small height, adorable appearance, and his regular slacking off during times that are normally supposed to be spent sparring, any of Janon’s opponents can tell you that he is a true force to be reckoned with. Janon has a bit of a complex about being seen as cute and “baby”, which is part of the reason that he picked up martial arts in the first place, and adopted a vulgar and bitter attitude (that belies a massive protective streak to those that are younger than him). First of all, Myth thinks that if Janon wants to be intimidating he should drop the bunny hoodie to show off his hardened muscles. But Janon claims that his hoodie is comfortable and will pound anyone who tries to steal it.

Outfit: The bunny hoodie from his original design over a red and white martial arts robe and black flip-flops, hair tied out of his eyes in a small ponytail.

Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Swimmer

As the leading lady of an all-girls synchronized swimming performance troupe, known as the “Spectacular Sea Sprites”, Sparkle’s loud voice and her skill with dramatics, that is also backed up by her athletic skills to boot, makes her a perfect leader for the group, in spite of her “eccentricities”. Sparkle also idolizes Myth and her fashion statements, and was simply over the moon, when the swimmer first learned that she would be chaperoning the Kibo-Con trip alongside her hero in confidence and fashion. Needless to say, Myth was ultimately flattered at meeting another fan. The various displays of affection from the over-dramatic swimmer and Myth-brand fanatic are a bit too much though. 

Outfit: A sparkly blue one-piece, a sparkly transparent shawl and matching skirt, pink heels.

Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Affluent Progeny, and Wet Sock Anon, Former Ultimate Biker Gang Leader

As the heir to the throne of one of the most influential and largest corporations in the land, Egg knows everything there is to know about business and finances, despite what their general impulsive and cursed behavior would suggest. Wet Sock, on the other hand, ran out of and was disowned by their family years ago, and by their teen years, moved through the ranks, to become one of the greatest and most dangerous and vicious biker gang leaders in all of the land. Myth has no idea how such great fashion icons could also be so incredibly chaotic and cursed, and is only willing to put up with it, because the both of the twins look stunning and damn fine in both male and female outfits.

Egg’s Outfit: Combed-down hair, a silverish blue jacket over a bright orange button-up shirt, pants that match the jacket and brown loafers, glasses from the original design.

Wet Sock’s Outfit: Hair shaved completely on one side, a black leather jacket over the hoodie from their original design, torn jeans, and black boots.

Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Moral Compass

Oddly calm and level-headed for their age and with an unshakeable moral compass and a kindhearted and amiable attitude on top of that, Curious has been a part of their middle school’s public moral‘s committee ever, since they started attending middle school. Despite basically being a servant and waterperson to the other members, they ended up being far more popular and beloved compared to the other people of the middle school public morals committee, for their kind attitude is a refreshing change compared to the other cruel and tyrannical members. Myth finds Curious’s meticulous appearance nice, but she just can’t forgive the person who tried to dress code her clothes. 

Outfit: A pure white school uniform with a green armband and black thigh high boots.

Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Programmer 

Nerd’s parents are the heads of one of the most prolific weapon-manufacturing companies in all of the world, and Nerd has been programming the technology in the weapons, ever since he was a preteen. He is worldly-renowned for being an absolute prodigy in the worlds of both high-tech weapon manufacturing and programming the fine details of the weapons, with the scouter he wears right now being a particular favorite of his. Myth has no idea how someone in a such a neatly-ironed and crisp suit could be such a vulgar jerk, who regularly harms her with his scouter and other technology on a daily basis. She’s lucky she has Wyre to fight back, because all the burns can’t be good for her skin or hair.

Outfit: A black suit with a green tie and assorted black machinery all over his body with a red scouter over his right eye.

Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Clairvoyant

One of the few supernatural talents in all of the Hope’s Peak’s roster, Eldritch was born with the supernatural ability to predict the future, which were usually negative and things that might as well start the apocalypse in his fanatical doomsayer eyes, which gave him a paranoid and pessimistic personality. Boasting a 1/3 accuracy rate on his fortunes, Eldritch is oddly confident in his abilities and always tries to warn others about events in the future that he claims will cause the apocalypse, usually to no avail. Myth thinks Eldritch has quite the odd fashion sense, and Eldritch isn’t willing to spill on why he dresses like a wizard. Eldritch also claims that people like Myth die first in horror movies.

Outfit: A tinfoil hat, long oversized green overcoat over a galaxy patterned sweater, yellow shorts and orange sandals.

Dream Anon, Ultimate Idol

Dream is the lead singer and main choreographer of the 9-girl pop idol group “JUMP*FLY”. She’s often regarded as the face of the group, due to her positive and cheery attitude on stage, backed up by her dancing and singing skills, and was the one elected by the other eight members to attend Hope’s Peak as the Ultimate Idol. Apart from Fusion II and Wyre, Myth gets along with Dream the most, for she reminds Myth of a younger her and she loves how she can just slay all of those sparkly and pretty dresses on stage. They regularly do dance exercises together, along with Fusion and Sparkle, and talk about their shared experiences as famous beauty icons, in spite of their age.

Outfit: Black and pink headphones, stars drawn on her cheeks, a pink and grey jacket over a black top with pink stripes with a white star in the center, a pink sparkly skirt over shorts that match her top, and boots that also match her top.

Iris Anon, Jr. Ultimate Novelist

In spite of being only a middle schooler, Iris is one of the most prolific and best-selling science fiction-romance hybrid novelists in recent memory, best known for such novels as “Star-Crossed Lovers”, a tale of two aliens trying to get to each other’s homeplanets, with the help of some eccentric side characters/wingaliens, and “Neptunes”, the tale of an astronaut finding their soulmate using a special alien song, which are both best remembered for their ultimately happy endings. Despite what many people think, Myth really enjoys reading romance novels, and novels by Iris are definitely no exception. Imagine Myth’s shock when it was revealed that one of Myth’s favorite novelist is several years her junior. 

Outfit: A black sweater, blue suspenders that hold up a matching skirt, blue and white striped stockings, purple boots, glasses and braids from her original design.

Purple Anon, Ultimate Detective

Purple comes from a long line of affluent and prolific detectives, and was naturally expected to follow in the family footsteps. She did follow the footsteps of the family lineage, and shocked and amazed her family, with her skill in solving crimes and cracking the toughest of cases. Just like every other family member before her, Purple was eventually accepted into Hope’s Peak and was christened the Ultimate Detective. Despite the gruesome cases that she cracks on a regular basis, Purple is often really timid and often hides behind large objects (and even Anons). Myth loves the demure detective‘s high-class threads, and wishes that Purple had the confidence to show it off more often.

Outfit: A dark grey overcoat over a white dress shirt and a purple tie with a lilac question mark on the front, a black skirt, grey stockings and black Mary Janes, the beret from her original design.

This series will center around a fashion icon scoping out only the most scorching of tea and fixing up the various fashion disasters in the Con!

——————————————————-

PERSONALITY

Fashionista!Myth is rather laid-back and cheerful, yet overly passionate about her one true passion: fashion, and is willing to ignore her haters and continue to do what she loves for a living. Fashionista!Myth has a shockingly kind heart underneath the judgmental and sassy exterior. It’s just that people with terrible fashion senses tend to aggravate her more judgmental side and causes her to make rather snide comments about their disaster fashion choices. People with better fashion senses tend to get more respect from her, and showing off her kind-hearted and hidden maternal side. Fashionista!Myth is particularly known on her blog for her wise and experienced fashion advice, but she’s also great at giving out life advice in general, which kind of gives her a reputation as a sort of “mom”, or at least a “wine aunt”. She also lives for drama (particularly of the romance kind), even if she has no idea what said drama actually is. 

——————————————————-

APPEARANCE

Fashionista!Myth wears her brown hair down with streaks of purple, pink, and blue, as well as a pink beret on top of her head. Fashionista!Myth wears a black off-the-shoulder sweater with fluffy white sleeves and  a small blue rose on the front over a red tank top, a red skirt with a black belt that matches her purse, and thigh-high black boots.

——————————————————-

I hope you like this talentswap! Consider this an exercise for me in drawing trendy clothes! Let me hear what you think of this AU!

[ephyla]

Boss Lady

Hey guys, I hope you had an amazing Christmas!

This story was inspired by a post I saw a couple of months ago on a subreddit called MaliciousCompliance. I immediately thought that this is something that Hiccup and Astrid would totally do and just hoped I would be inspired to write it at some point. Well, today is that day, so enjoy!!

Summary: 

MODERN AU

Her boss’s insistence on changing her dress code leaves her in a fit of rage. Good thing that she has an amazing boyfriend to help her maliciously comply to his stupid requirements.

***

‘I’m sorry, what?’

‘I’m just saying that it would be more appropriate if you dressed more like a professional.’

Astrid was internally fuming, but she tried to keep her cool in his office.

‘And what do you mean by ‘professional’ exactly?’ The young woman asked, her teeth grinding.

‘You know, dresses, heels, skirts.’ Her boss replied nonchalantly.

‘With all due respect, why am I the only one you approached with this request?’ If murder was legal, she would have skinned him alive a long time ago.

‘Because they’re not my assistant.’

***

Hiccup was preparing dinner when he heard the door slam brutally. He turned the heat off and placed the pan on a cool surface. His girlfriend, in a fit of rage, was struggling to untie her shoelaces as he walked into the living room.

‘Bad day at work?’ Astrid just grumbled. ‘Who was it this time, Thuggory? Lars?’

‘My obnoxious boss.’

‘Ah.. Should’ve guessed it. Why did he call you in his office this time? Your shoulders were distracting him? Did you show your ankles again?’ Her boyfriend dramatically gasped.

Astrid worked in a small company where the employees were not required to dress professionally since they’re not facing any customers. There’s still the A/C turned on full blast, so it wasn’t like Astrid was showing a lot of skin to begin with, not that it mattered. But her dirty old boss thought it would be appropriate to point out her attire on an almost daily basis. She quickly got tired of it and decided to have part of her closet dedicated to unflattering clothes so she could avoid being grossly objectified by her superior. Today, however, he crossed a line.

‘That pig decided that I should be wearing ‘corporate clothing since I’m his assistant’ while the others are free to wear jeans and t-shirts.’ Astrid fumed as she violently threw her bag on the sofa and stomped toward the bathroom to take shower. Not having the time to reply, Hiccup simply walked back to the kitchen to finish the cooking.

When Astrid came back, she seemed to have cooled off a bit. They sat at the table as they ate their dinner.

‘You know my dad would hire you if I asked him. You’re smart, focused and hardworking. He would love to have you as an employee. And he loves you. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even his son seeing how much he dotes on you.’ Hiccup laughs. A small smile formed on his girlfriend’s face. ‘You know he loves you to death. I’m not the one that’s getting my ribs crushed every time he hugs me because he missed me. Besides, I don’t think it’s fair for me to suddenly be hired on the spot by your father just because I’m dating you. Some more qualified people might need it more than me. I already have a decent paying job, it’s just that I hate the people I’m working with.’

‘I know, I know. But it’s also not fair for you to endure all this just for your boss’s sick pleasure. You’re not paid to be his eye-candy. You’re paid to be his assistant, and right now he clearly is trying to force you to make his disgusting fantasies a reality. Just please, think about it, alright?’ Astrid looked away, but Hiccup scooted his chair closer and caressed her cheek, making her face him again. Her frown still visible. ‘I’ve noticed you know.’ He stated.

‘Noticed what?’

‘You’ve been stressed a lot since you got this job. You barely eat or get a decent night of sleep anymore’ Hiccup traced the dark bags under her eyes. ‘You always seem irritated by something’ He brought a hand to her hand on his sleeve, trying to relax her death grip. She released him and he grabbed her hand, holding it to his chest. ‘You barely have the time for your friends and family. If we didn’t live together, I probably wouldn’t have seen much of you either. I worry about you. I miss you’ Astrid looked away again.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realize th-‘

‘It’s not your fault babe. What I’m trying to say is, maybe it’s time for you to be a bit selfish. You’ve worked so hard to get where you’re at, and your accomplishments are not being acknowledged because your boss is only thinking with his dick. You deserve so much better than this. Please accept my help. Not only will the job my dad offer you will be more high paying, but also less stressful. Well, as stress less it can get with Snot and the twins.’ The pair laughed. ‘But most importantly, you’ll also be working with me.’

‘Now that last part seems very tempting.’ Astrid smiles. Working with Stoick and Hiccup definitely sounds much better than being stuck with her current job.

‘Well I sure hope so! I would take serious offence if you told me you’d rather work with that sleezy old man over me!’ Her boyfriend replies while laughing. ‘But in all seriousness, I’ll talk to my dad, I know he’ll be more than thrilled to help you. If by some thorsaken reason he refuses, then I’ll help. I mean you’ve been by my side for the longest time. You stood by me when I lost my leg and had to learn how to walk again.’ He stomps his prosthetic on the floor to prove his point. ‘It’s really the least I can do.’ Astrid sighed.

‘Alright, just this time, I’ll let you help me. Because I really can’t stand working in the hellhole anymore.’ Hiccup beams and raises the hand he’s holding to his lip, kissing her palm. ‘Great! I’ll call dad now and will let you know as soon as I’m sure you got the job. Then you can finally send your two weeks notice letter.’

‘Already written since the end of my first week on the job. For now, I just have to worry about this dumb new dress code made specifically for me.’ Astrid rolled her eyes.

‘I think I might have an idea. Let’s go to the mall this weekend.’ Astrid saw Hiccup struggling to hide a mischievous grin as he got up and walked to the bedroom to pick up his charging phone.

***

‘Hiccup, you’re missing a leg, not your sight, this is very obviously not my size.’

‘Exactly, it’s perfect, I’ll lend you one of my belts so you can keep these up.’ The piece of clothing in question were a pair brown dress pants in the size M from the men’s section. ‘Now let’s check if they have a matching blazer. I’ll also lend you my dress shirts since they’re not the main focus.’ Hiccup picked out a matching blazer in the same size and held it out to Astrid. ‘Actually, let’s find you a dress shirt so we can see how the whole outfit looks like when you go try it.’ Astrid followed Hiccup as he walked towards the shirts and picked one out.

‘Go try this first, I’ll go find a few other outfits you can try.’ He shoos Astrid to the changing rooms.

‘First outfit?’

‘I mean if you want to wear only one outfit every single day until you leave that place, that’s your choice. But it would be wiser if you had a few spares’ He replied sarcastically. Astrid scoffed and left to change.

Hiccup took his time finding a few other oversized outfits for his girlfriend. Once he was satisfied with his choice, he walked towards the changing rooms.

‘Astrid?’ He called out.

‘In here’ She replied from the very end of the corridor. ‘Honestly, I hate the outfit, but this is a great idea.’ Astrid pulled the curtains aside and dramatically posed. His bewildered expression made her laugh.

‘Well, what do you think?’ Hiccup quickly recovered from the initial shock. ‘In all honesty, terrible, but at the same time you seem to be able to pull it off.’ Astrid twirled around.

‘I think if I styled it a bit and asked Heather to sew a few things, because we all know I can’t sew to save my life, it could become a nice outfit. At least we’re not wasting money. She said as she rolled up her sleeves.

‘That’s a pretty good idea.’ Hiccup grins. ‘Is it weird that I want you to bend me over a table and call you ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’?’

‘Eh, maybe. I’m used to you being weird though.’ Astrid laughs. ‘But please don’t call me that, it creeps me out.’

‘Roger that. Here, I got you some other outfits. I don’t think you need dress shoes, that might be too much. You can use your pair of loafers.’ Her boyfriend handed her the clothes and went to take a seat while she tried the rest of the clothing.

***

Astrid closed the door behind her. More gently than last time indicating her much better mood. Hiccup’s head popped out of their bedroom’s doorway. He smiled when he saw her good mood and walked towards her and kissed her.

‘I assume things went well?’

‘You should’ve seen the look on his dumb face! I spent the entire day trying not to laugh!’ She rejoiced as she circled her arm around his neck. They swayed for a couple of seconds before ungraciously landing on the sofa. ‘He couldn’t really say anything, because technically, I did what he asked for. I dressed professionally. I just decided to ignore his suggestions about wearing a dress or heels. I mean, who does he think he is, my stylist?’ Her boyfriend laughed and hugged her.

‘I wish I was there to see it all. But I’m happy it worked out for you.’

‘It’s all thanks to you. Things would have gotten way worse if you didn’t have this idea. I most likely would have shoved my heel down his throat or something, probably getting myself fired in the process. Then again that’s not such a bad outcome.’ Astrid rambled.

‘What can I say, I am pretty amazi- Ow!’ He cried as Astrid lightly punched him in the shoulder. He sulked as he held on said shoulder. ‘Whyy?’

‘I could see your ego poking its head out of your oversized mop of hair of yours.’

‘Harhar, if it’s not the leg jokes then it’s got to be the hair jokes. I should’ve seen that one coming.’ He mumbled that last part. Astrid smiled and kissed him.

‘But you’re right, you really are amazing. You’re the best.’

***

I’m normally not a big fan of Modern AUs, so I kind of struggled writing this one. Either way, hope you liked it!

Happy New Year!!

[mrsbhandari]

Shutter - pt 6

a/n: THIS SHIT TOOK SO DAMN LONG AND IM SORRY ive just been dealing with people moving and going out to do stuff and having little motivation to actually write so im VERY sorry that this took years. also, this chapter is way more nsfw than my other chaps so it is of course inspired by @lxdy-starfury‘s absolutely BEAUTIFUL nsfw art so plsssssss check that out because she’s incredible. also this is the last part of this main series, who knows, if people ask or I feel like it ill write more in this au for this pairing. well see!! for now im happy to completely finish it

also I know that my masterlist is fucky rn, im looking for the time to fix it, so if you want to see a specific fic or even all my fics for a specific pairing or book, don’t hesitate to message me or send me an ask!! im happy to point yall in the right direction, and when its not a request, I usually get to asks pretty quickly so yeah!!

words: 3.7k 

warnings: unwanted advances, nsfw at the endddd

tagging: @lxdy-starfury, @huntress1024, @anotherbeingsworld, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @chaotic-ramsay-queen, @brycemaloliver

#

Tyril was letting his PhD go to waste. He was letting it all go to waste because his brain was pouring out of his ears as his eyes took in the purely magnificent sight of Naexi in that skin tight purple dress, hugging every curve just right and accentuating her breasts with a low V neckline. The way the fabric moved with her every step was captivating, drawing his attention to every little piece of her body, tantalizingly revealed and taunting him. 

“You’re going to catch flies, Tyril.” She was fumbling with her clutch, checking to make sure that her phone fit inside and then turning around to grab something else. This new angle gave him a perfect view of her backside, filling out the dress as if it was made for her. In all honesty, his sharp  tuxedo had caught her eye as well, but the large field of crimson spread across his cheeks and nose was a reminder of how much better she was at holding her feelings about Tyril in. Tyril, however, could barely keep his hands to himself in her room, in the living room, in the kitchen, and on the drive over to the gala. 

“Of course you own a stupidly expensive car.” Naexi ran her hands over the smooth leather seats and the crisp finish of the wood on the dashboard. The car was clean, making her feel like if she continued to touch anything, her fingerprints would forever ruin the surfaces. 

“It’s a nice car.” His hand was on her thigh, covered by the fabric of the dress but no doubt covered in faded love bites meticulously placed by Tyril. She only hummed her response, briefly distracted by the way his thumb was rubbing circles on her inner thigh, spindly fingers inching toward her core as if it was magnetized. His inability to draw his hand away suggested that he was most definitely not thinking about the car. She only hummed, insistent on keeping any gratification he was giving her to herself; it only encouraged him to drag his fingers over the apex of her thighs, her core only separated from his fingertips by two flimsy pieces of fabric. 

“You better not crash it,” she teased, still stoic. Quickly, Tyril figured out that continuing his current path was only going to hurt him in the long run, so he ran a finger back down to her knee as they arrived at the large hall his father had booked for the gala. He knew that this night was already going to be one of schmoozing and torture, but he still barely looked forward to it since he knew Naexi would be at his side. 

“Hey, elf boy!” a voice called to his left as he gave his keys to the valet with a hefty tip. Naexi turned and was met with a man a few inches shorter than her with wavy brown hair and a smile that betrayed that he was up to no good. 

“I told you not to call me that, you rogue,” Tyril grumbled, begrudgingly clasping hands with the man and patting his back as he was pulled into a hug. 

“You can’t just say that people think you’re an elf in an interview and then expect not to be called elf boy,” he reasoned, sending a wink Naexi’s way. “I’m Mal Volari, and you’re gorgeous.” He gently took her hand in his and pressed his lips to the back of it, never breaking eye contact. 

“Mal…” Tyril cautioned, palm spreading protectively over his girlfriend’s side. 

“Don’t worry, Ty.” She tamely ran her fingers through the hair that fell so gracefully over his ears, hiding the blush that had started to touch the barely pointed tops of them. Mal smiled knowingly. “I’m Naexi, Tyril’s date.”

“I’ve heard much about you.” They began walking into the gala, all gold finishing and sparkling diamonds adorning the necks and hands of New York’s elite, and Naexi couldn’t help but feel completely out of place. Mal rambled on at her side, so she took advantage of his distraction to whisper to Tyril, who already looked bored. 

“This is weird.” 

“Indeed,” he murmured, his deep baritone accompanying the words quite nicely. Already, people were beginning to stare as they made the rounds, hopping from rich group to rich group. Mal had abandoned them to camp at the open bar.

“Why do people look at me like that?”

“I apologize, it’s my fault. I’ve not had a date to one of these things in quite some time.” They had sat at one of the tables, a glass of champagne in each of their hands as they took a break from socializing. 

“Ah, yes; the elusive bachelor Tyril Starfury.” She threw her hand out in the air to indicate a headline. He smiled. 

“I don’t know how I ever got through one of these things without you.”

“Mal never helped? Or Imtura?”

“Imtura always takes her job as security seriously and Mal enjoys the expensive champagne my father orders.” Tyril nodded his head at where his friend was gesturing wildly, no doubt telling a story of his travels to a handsome man with a starry look in his eyes. “As well as the company these events attract.”

“Will I get to meet your father?” The question threw Tyril off his balance, but he quickly recovered. 

“Well, he usually finds me along with my sister so--”

“Big brother!” Two pale arms wrapped around Tyril’s shoulders and squeezed, holding him close. His eyes lit up as the woman behind him kissed his cheek. “Staying as asocial as always, I see.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Not for your company, no.” The woman’s eyes flicked to Naexi’s, as piercing as her brother’s but leagues warmer. “You’re Naexi? I’ve seen your work. You’re very good.”

She smiled as she responded. “Really? That means so much, thank you. You must be Adrina.” She stuck her hand out, but exclaimed a small “oh!” when Adrina pulled her up from the chair to give her a hug. 

“Everyone’s here for my father, so I’m allowed to break stuffy old etiquette.” Her laugh was light and airy, like a sweet breeze on a summer day. A man with Tyril’s pale skin and dark hair appeared behind her, posture straight and face neutral. Tyril stood quickly, taking his place in front of his father and next to Naexi. 

“Hello, Father.”

“Tyril! I’m glad to see that you found a date in time.” His tone was one of pride that barely hid the small element of surprise.

“Yes, this is Naexi.” The feeling of Tyril’s warm grip on her waist was already enough to make her knees buckle, but she forced herself to stay upright to shake his father’s hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Your gala is truly beautiful.” 

“What else do we ever expect from the famed Valir Starfury?” a smooth voice sounded from her right, and her head quickly swiveled to see who it belonged to. The man’s smile was friendly and inviting, but upon closer inspection, the feeling never reached his eyes. His mop of curly hair was perfectly styled to make him look boyish, but with the way Tyril’s grip tightened ever-so-slightly, Naexi knew something was off. 

“Aerin.” 

“Tyril, is that how you greet an old friend?” Aerin laughed, sloshing his champagne in its glass. He turned a predatory gaze on her. “It’s been a while since you’ve had a date, Ty.” The man next to her stood completely still, his eyes narrowed. “Who was the last...Kaya?”

“And your point?” Tyril’s response was sharp enough to make Adrina take the smallest step toward him. Aerin continued to stare at Naexi while addressing Tyril.

“You sure know how to pick them, hm? You have a keen eye for beauty.” Aerin winked, but it made Naexi’s heart flutter and skin crawl. She shifted in her heels, ignoring the pain in her feet. There was palpable tension in the air between the five of them, suffocating and humid. Naexi racked her brain to find some way to cut it. 

“I have to use the restroom.” The statement came off far louder than she intended, but it still did the trick. Aerin blinked, taken aback by her exclamation, and Adrina surged forward to take hold of her wrist, pulling her away from her brother and through the crowd of high rollers. 

“I’ll take you!” Adrina said, hoping that the men would get the hint. As soon as they were out of earshot, she let out a sigh. “Thank goodness you got us out of that one. I’ve never been more grateful for girl code.” 

“Who was that? He was charming but…”

“Sleazy? Yeah, you’re not the only one. That’s Aerin Valleros, heir to WhiteTower Corporations. He acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but he’s been in more scandals than I can count.” Adrina visibly shuddered. “He’s creepy.” 

“Didn’t he assault his brother or something?” Naexi asked, remembering the name popping up in one of the numerous headlines Nia sent her a while back. 

“Yup, they fought over who was going to take over the company. Beat him so bad that his brother stepped down.”

“Holy shit.” They had reached a wall next to the opening for the bathroom, so they stood outside and leaned against it to talk. “Everyone here is insane.”

“Yeah, I feel kind of bad for leaving Tyril with him.” 

“What’s their beef?” Adrina sent a wide-eyed glance to Naexi.

“People really say that?” She let out a delighted laugh. “I love that! Anyway, Tyril used to be engaged to this girl Kaya, but she cheated on him with Aerin and they planned to take over the Starfury company together.” She grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing tray and took a long sip. “But then her assistant leaked information to the press and she disappeared.”

“Do you guys live in a Lifetime movie?” 

“Pretty much,” Adrina sighed, seemingly searching for someone in the crowd in front of them.

“Did you come here with a date?” Adrina hummed her answer and Naexi gently nudged her bare arm. “Go find them. I’ll be fine here.” 

“You sure?” 

“Go on!” Naexi waved her hands to shoo her off and leaned back against the wall to sip her champagne. Just as she was about to go find Tyril, a sultry voice and a large hand on her forearm held her in place. 

“Hello.” Aerin was polite, but kept his hand on her. She felt goosebumps rise along the back of her neck and Adrina’s explanation of who he was repeated in her mind.

“Hi.” 

“I apologize for the uncomfortable situation earlier. I’m afraid Tyril and I aren’t on the best of terms.” He seemed genuinely concerned, and for the briefest second, Naexi felt her guard fall. 

“Should I be the one you’re apologizing to?” Her champagne barely stayed in her glass as he slammed his hand onto the wall behind her, bringing his face close to hers and smirking when she backed up to the hard surface. No one around her seemed to notice. 

“You’re quick. It’s attractive. Do you think I’m attractive?”

“Trapping a woman because you can’t get her to come to you isn’t attractive,” Naexi drawled, keeping her gaze locked on his. He was simmering and dangerous; one wrong move could make him boil over, but she figured that he had more to lose than a random photographer here as a plus-one. 

“What does Tyril have that I don’t?” At this, his breath cascaded over her face, and she didn’t know what he had been drinking all night, but it certainly wasn’t the expensive, barely alcoholic bubbles that were being passed around. 

“Better alcohol tolerance, for one.” She winced as he laughed. 

“Funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke.” Before she could speak again, Aerin gave a yelp as his tuxedo was yanked back, making him stumble into Tyril, who caught him easily. 

“It’s time for you to leave, Aerin.” People were finally beginning to stare as Tyril walked Aerin out, who was mumbling about his kingdom. Naexi followed, easily hailing a taxi and pushing the drunk man into the back seat with a purposeful shove. The night was cold, and she turned to walk back inside when she felt a tug on her wrist. Looking back, she saw Tyril with his cold, slender fingers against her skin. “I don’t want to go back in.” 

“Wanna head to your place?” 

“Desperately,” he breathed, pulling her close to him and handing his ticket and a tip to the valet. His hand was wrapped around her waist exactly how it had been for the entire night, but this time felt different. His hands were always cold, but his touch was burning with a promise, which he kept as soon as they shut the door to his apartment. 

His kisses were always encompassing, as if he captured every atom of her being between the seam of his lips, his teeth grazing every thought in her mind and his fingers brushing her soul. His movements were deliberate as he walked her backwards to his bedroom, slipping her dress off and letting it pool on the floor next to the sleek coffee table. She was more hurried, eagerly tugging his jacket off and tossing it in the hallway. Finally, they reached his room, vast and cold but slowly thawing. A well-placed kiss to his now-exposed collarbone had him gasping. 

“Please…” he breathed, falling back onto the bed by himself as she stayed standing above him. She looked down on him, studying the way his chest rose and fell so quickly and the way his lips were ever-so-slightly parted, caught in the guarantee of pleasure that was soon to come. He gazed at her as if she was the only person left for him in the world.

He made her believe it. 

“Tell me what you want, Tyril.” His words seemed to get caught in his throat as she, bare and only clad in a thin pair of black panties, got onto her knees on the bed and straddled him, already moving to unbutton his fancy shirt and pants. She could feel him hardening beneath her and gave an experimental grind, pulling out a low moan from his chest. His hands were loosely placed on her hips, but they traveled down to stroke her thighs. 

“Please,” he repeated, sitting up to shrug off his shirt and unintentionally hitting his forehead on her collarbone. 

“What, baby?” she asked, picking his head up and tilting his face to look up at her above him. His eyes were nearly shut and his lips were swollen, and she gave him a small simper. “Use your words.” 

“I…” he trailed off, struggling to voice it. “I want you to suck my cock, Naexi.” She pressed a kiss to his lips and climbed off him, pulling him up to stand and kneeling in front of him. His hands immediately found her hair, tangling in the long locks as she pulled his pants down and fished his cock out of his fancy boxers. He opened his mouth to say something, but all thought left his mind as she wrapped her lips around his head and sucked, flicking her tongue around the tip. “Ah!” he yelped, eyes rolling back as his hand tightened in her hair. She briefly took her mouth away and settled for just her lips against him, and he whined in displeasure. “P-please--ooh--don’t tease me…” She took him in deeper until he teased the back of her throat, and he risked a glance down at her. 

Naexi was looking directly into his eyes, studying his reaction and flicking her tongue accordingly. The sight of her green eyes brimming with tears as she took him was nearly enough to make him come, and she sensed it in the slight scratch of his fingernails against her scalp. 

“You take my cock so well, Naexi,” he breathed, and she moaned around him. Letting out a shaky breath, he tapped once against her head. “I’m so close.” Instead of pulling away, she pushed his cock further down her throat and ran her tongue along a prominent vein along the underside of his shaft, pushing him over the edge. He let out a long groan as she swallowed him down, running her hands up and down his sides to both soothe him and keep him from stumbling. She stood and gave him a bright smile, raising herself to her tiptoes (even though she didn’t need to) and pressing her lips to his. He eagerly returned the favor, pulling away only to allow his lips to burn a path down her throat. He reached her collarbone, but stopped suddenly with his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Everything okay?” Naexi asked, searching his face in concern.

“You--” Tyril started, but stopped, pursing his lips in disapproval. “You smell like him.” 

“Aerin?” Her head was cocked, but her eyes widened when his own darkened. 

His voice was low and made her heart race. “Don’t say his name.” 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, casting her eyes downward and fiddling with her hands. Sighing, he nuzzled the crook of her neck, placing kisses and small bites on the flesh he found there. 

“No, it’s my fault. I should’ve been more careful with him. He sees a beautiful woman and loses all ability to think.” His hands flew to her hips to pull her closer to him when she gasped at his teeth on her skin. “The fact that you’re mine only made him crazier.” 

“Yours?” She reached under his chin to bring his face up to hers, glancing down at his lips and then back up at his eyes. 

“I’m--I meant you were my date, not mine, you’re not property--I just meant--” he stammered, taking a step back before realizing that the bed was close behind him. He lost his balance, falling back against the bed with a loud cry and frowning when Naexi snorted, barely containing her laughter at him. Instead of tugging him back up, she climbed on top of him again, letting her hair fall into his face as she looked down at how pretty his own locks were splayed out against the bed. 

“Don’t worry, Ty, I like it.”

“You do?” 

“I like being yours…” She pressed a kiss to the right side of his neck. “...and only yours…” She switched to his left. “No one else’s.” She placed a final kiss to his lips, one that he prolonged as he followed her when she tried to break it. “So greedy.”

“I can’t help it,” he breathed, giving a small squeeze to her hips. “I hated watching him put his hands on you.” 

“Then how about you put your hands on me?” He smirked as she yelped at his quick movement to flip them over, pinning her to the bed by her wrists. Tyril immediately released her and ran his fingertips down her arms and stopped at her breasts, electing to switch to his mouth. With his left hand, he kneaded her flesh in his palm and took her right nipple in between his lips, flicking his tongue to mirror her movements from when she deepthroated him. His right hand continued downward until his index finger was circling her clit and entering her easily with the help of her own arousal. “Yes!” she gasped, back arching to push her body even closer to his. His finger pumped in and out of her, curling every so often and making him smile as she moaned louder and louder the closer she got to climax. He rushed the process by adding his middle finger and curling, hitting her sweet spot inside while rubbing her clit with his thumb. 

“Come on, Naexi, let go for me.” She responded with a wail as she came, hands clutching the sheets and legs shaking. He continued to move his fingers even after she recovered, but leaned down to whisper softly in her ear. 

“Would you like more?”

“Fuck, Tyril, yes. Just fuck me,” she begged, eyes barely able to stay open to look at his grin. He raised to his knees on the bed and looked down at her for a brief moment before entering her, admiring the way her skin shone with sweat and the way her flesh was blemished with the marks he had placed there. Naexi, in all her glory, was his. 

“All mine,” he whispered before thrusting and gasping at how perfectly her heat enveloped him. He buried himself inside her, allowing her a few seconds to get used to his size. Finally, the legs she instinctively wrapped around him squeezed his waist, getting him to pull out of her again before slamming back in with a loud moan. 

“Tyril!” she screamed, thankful for the lack of neighbors in his penthouse apartment. “Faster, please!” she pleaded, green locking with blue as she met him thrust for thrust, clenching around his cock and grabbing the wrists that connected to the hands clutching her waist. He picked up his pace, moaning all the while, and felt his stomach already coiling, a tell-tale sign of how close he was. She let out a small cry as he hit her sensitive spot and brought his thumb down to rub around her clit, unexpectedly throwing her over the edge. “Don’t stop, Tyril!” He heeded her instruction, and at the feeling of her juices coating his cock, followed her to his own peak, releasing himself inside her. Her eyes blinked slowly, as if finally coming back to her senses minutes after he pulled out and retrieved a warm washcloth to clean her up. Sitting up, she followed him to the bathroom, rubbing at his shoulders as he began to draw a bath. 

“Did you...enjoy the gala?” he asked awkwardly, frowning when she laughed. 

“After that mind-blowing sex, that’s what you’re going to say.” She poked his cheek and then kissed the small, red spot. “You’re too adorable.”

“...It was mind-blowing?”

“You’re turning into Mal.” His eyes bulged and he exaggerated a shudder. 

“Oh no.” 

“But yes, it was mind-blowing.” Her lips found his easily, but she pulled away again when she felt a smile against them. “What are you smiling at?”

“I’m just happy that now I can have mind-blowing sex with you all the time now.”

“How romantic.”

[justthehiddleswrites]

The Reluctants | Chapter 1 | The Reluctant Landlord

Pairing: Adam (OLLA) x OFC (Charlie Bock)

Summary:  Charlie can’t believe her luck when she lands an apartment all to herself in Quincy, Massachusetts in a decaying triple decker. But life gets more complicated when someone moves into the basement. Specifically her landlord, Adam, who also happens to be a vampire. As life collapses around Charlie, these two forge an uneasy and unlikely relationship. But is their relationship as doomed as the building they live in?

Warnings: Violence, Smut, Frottage, Dry Humping, Teasing, Coming In Pants, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex. Couch Sex. Kidnapping. Stalking. Non-Graphic Violence, Character Death

-

The hardwood floors creaked under Charlie’s weight as she pushed off the mishmash of sheets, quilts, and duvets to the side and her bare feet landed. She ruffled her impossible brown curls, which smashed flat against the back of her head after a night of sleep. It was only September but the old triple decker on the outskirts of Quincy, Massachusetts seemed to be in a wind tunnel. Every gust, bluster, breeze, or slight cough rattled the aging home. But Charlie wasn’t about to complain.

With her salary at Legal Aid barely covering the high cost of living in Boston, it forced Charlie to get creative with her living situation. Roommates were not an option after her last one during her third year of law school, decided instead of washing dishes, she would tuck them wherever convenient. Be that between couch cushions or in an early edition of The Hobbit Charlie kept along with her other books on a shelf in the living room. Charlie took to locking valuables in her room and swore off living with anyone.

It was a pure stroke of luck when the listing for an entire two-bedroom apartment in a converted house came up for cheaper than sharing something downtown. She submitted an application and was delighted when the property management company contacted her to do a walkthrough. The house was old and falling apart around them. When a piece of crown molding nearly took the agent’s head off, Charlie negotiated for a 15% percent reduction in rent. There was only one thing nearly stopping her from moving. The landlord.

For one, his name. No one in 2020 is named Nicolas Copernicus. Not Copernicus himself would be called that in 2020. He would change his name to something like Nick Copper and found a startup company in his college dorm room. Charlie attempted to use what little resources she had at her disposal at her job to determine the true identity ofher mysterious landlord. All searches ended up at the same place. NOZ, Inc. A company with no internet presence. But plenty of assets.

“I am telling you I think my house is front for the mob. Or WitSec!” Charlie protested as she slumped into her desk chair.

“Or maybe,” Elise retorted. “It’s just a corporation that bought up a bunch of buildings to make some easy revenue.”

Her green eyes shot daggers at her co-worker. “If that’s the case, how come every week there is something new falling apart? Wouldn’t they refurbish the place before renting it out?”

Elise opened her mouth to respond when she stiffened in her seat. Charlie spun her chair to come face to face with a stained dress shirt. That shirt belonged to her boss, Jason Chambers.

“Ms. Bock.” He stared down Charlie through wired frame glasses too small for his round face. “If you are done socializing, a word in my office.” He jerked his thumb to the glorified cubicle he called his “office” and walked away.

“Sorry,” Elise mouthed while Charlie smoothed out her Banana Republic Outlet blazer and skirt.

“It’s all right.” Charlie gave a tense smile.

“Take a seat.” Jason gestured to a stained chair covered in paper. Charlie shifted her weight on her heels.

“I’ll just stand.” The sooner she got of there the better.

“I make this short and to the point. Your spending too much time with the clients.”

Charlie opened her mouth to protest, but Jason held up a hand. “We are here to help with legal issues not listening to their life story.” Jason grimaced. Charlie learned early on Jason believed this job was beneath his Harvard education.

“Those life stories often have bearing on their legal cases.” she interjected.

“I don’t care. Move the cases along faster or I will have to terminate your employment.” Jason grinned over the table. “This is your only warning.”

He locked eyes with Charlie, who held his stare. “Understood, sir.”

Jason’s face broke out in a smug grin. “You’re dismissed.”

Charlie shuffled out and back to her desk. Elise leaned forward.

“What did the B.O.D. want?” B.O.D. standing for Bag of Dicks, their nickname for Jason.

“Just the usual. Stop talking so much, move the cases.” Charlie huffed, doing a poor imitation of their boss.

The two giggled until Jason popped his head over the top of his cubicle, glowering. Elise snapped back upright and returned to typing, while Charlie busied herself with the papers in her inbox until he disappeared again back into his hole. The day continued on like that until lunch when Elise and Charlie hightailed it out of the office to a nearby deli.

“Did I tell you about the weird note I got last week?” Charlie stood over at the counter in the crowded deli, crunching up oyster crackers into her clam chowder.

“Do tell.”

“So I got home late one night to find this,” Charlie fished a crumpled piece of paper out of her purse, bringing up a couple of rubber bands and a lipstick along with it.

Elise unfolded the paper while taking a bite of her Reuben sandwich. “Is this written with a quill?”

“You noticed the ink splatters too? And what about the handwriting? Is that the handwriting of a serial killer or what?” Charlie dribbled some soup on her blouse. She dabbed at the stain with a napkin.

“Who is Mr. Shelley?”

“My new basement neighbor.”

“What does he look like?”

Charlie dribbled more soup. “No clue. Haven’t seen him.”

“Nothing?”

“I have only heard the hum of some music through the floorboards. I think he is nocturnal. Like a bat or something.”

“Spooky.” Elise passed the paper back, and they finished their lunch, making plans for drinks later that night.

Jason slipped out around 4:30 in the afternoon claiming he had to make a “supply run” and would be back in twenty minutes. Everyone knew this was code for that he needed to go pick up his skinny ass girlfriend from work because she couldn’t drive having just racked up her third DUI. Charlie suspected they met at Jason’s previous job at the Public Defender’s Office, but nothing substantial turned up in her searches of public access records.

“Come on, Charlie, let’s knock off early and grab drinks.” Elise already shut down her computer and was pulling her coat on.

“One second…” Charlie held up a finger as she put the finishing touches on a pleading. She hit save and closed the document. “… there. Where to?”

“How about the restaurant across the street? Bar menu is half off for happy hour.”

“Looks like momma is getting drunk on beer and burgers tonight.” Charlie snagged her coat off the back of her chair and followed Elise out the door.

-

Charlie stumbled up her stairs, her heels in her hand. It was late. In fact, so late that she had nearly missed the last train home. But it was worth it to spend time with Elise and some other friends.

As she fumbled for her keys, a sound came from the side basement entrance. Crouching low, Charlie crawled over to the crumbling railing to see what was the source.

Charlie spied two men standing at the threshold. She squinted in the dark, making a mental note to schedule an eye appointment. One man appeared to be wearing scrubs underneath an old gray peacoat. While the other man leaned out of the basement. Mr. Shelley, Charlie surmised. He looked like something out of a punk music video from the 1980s. His black hair shot out like wires and his clothes were all black and either leather or denim.

In a flash of brilliance or stupidity, depending on how one thought about it, Charlie retrieved her phone from her pocket and turned on the camera to record.

Charlie now spotted the Stop and Shop bag in the Scrubs Guy’s hand. She covered her mouth as she gasped when Mr. Shelley pulled a wad a cash from his back pocket. His head snapped in Charlie’s direction and she ducked into the shadows.

The two men finished the exchange, and Charlie shifted her weight to relieve a cramp in her calf. As she moved, the termite-ridden porch gave way and her foot went clear through the crawlspace. Charlie scrambled to her feet as footsteps approached, slamming her front door and dead bolting it once she got inside. She remained motionless and boot steps stopped in front of her door. It seemed like an eternity before the footsteps faded away and Charlie exhaled. Now sober, she trotted off to the kitchen for a late snack before tucking into bed to watch old reruns of Scarecrow and Mrs. King.

-

The next day was a repeat of the one before, except today was Friday and payday which meant instead of the nearby deli, Elise and Charlie splurged on delicious Chinese food, side of egg rolls plus a trip to the store for candy to be stashed in the top drawer of their desks. Jason kept to himself, grunting to himself.

“Bets on what he is looking at in there?” Marie, the receptionist, asked.

“Nudes from the girlfriend.” Charlie chimed in.

“Porn Hub.” Elise added.

“Cat videos on YouTube.” Marie commented as she waltzed over and popped her head over the cubicle wall.

Elise and Charlie giggled as keyboard keys clattered at a frantic pace. Jason muttered to Marie before she jogged back to the girls.

“You owe me twenty bucks.” Marie commented, pointing at Charlie “and you owe me twenty bucks.” She turned to Elise. “Lazy Cat Turns Body Into Slinky To Get Down The Stairs.”

Charlie grumbled as she fished out her wallet. A receipt came along with her striped wallet, along with a bus ticket. “He watched that one last week too.”

“And yet you continue to guess nudes. Someone sounds sexually frustrated.” Marie snatched the bill away from Charlie and grabbed Elise’s, reaching across the desk.

“Which is why you should use that twenty to buy me a drink tonight, so I might loosen up enough to land myself a date.” Charlie quipped. She widened her eyes until they looked like huge emerald saucers.

Marie pursed her lips. “That Puss in Boots look won’t work today. I have to meet my mom out in Brighton for a family dinner. Besides, I thought you hated dates. Especially after what’s his name?”

Charlie’s nose wrinkled at the word “family”. To say her own family relationship was strained would be an understatement. Shattered to a thousand pieces and scattered to the ends of the earth might be closer to the truth.

“Richard.”

“Dick the Serial Dater.” Elise added. “Didn’t the hostess comment you were the fourth girl he brought in there that week?”

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it. I’m so sorry, Marie. I should buy you a drink.”

Marie giggled as she returned to the front desk. “Not every hates family and relationships like you.”

Charlie squirmed. “I don’t hate relationships. I just don’t like the fanfare that goes along with them. I just want a guy who is happy being him and let’s me be me. No strings, no commitments. And no dates.” She shuddered.

“You want a fuck buddy.” Elise commented as she pulled her phone receiver away from her ear.

Charlie shushed Elise. “I don’t want a ‘fuck buddy’. I just want a guy who doesn’t expect me to swoon after him or put aside my interests for his. I want to be me, fucked up me. And it doesn’t hurt if he is hot as hell.”

“That guy doesn’t exist, Charlie.”

She sighed. “You’re right, but a girl can dream.”

Jason snuck out even earlier than usual. Marie mouthed “anniversary” as he walked by before slapping on a fake smile as he exited onto the crowded downtown Boston sidewalk.

Charlie pinched the bridge of her nose before blinking and return to the writ she was drafting. The last hour of the workday flew by and Elise was soon tapping her shoulder.

“Drinks at McCormicks?”

“I’m shouldn’t. I partied a little too hard last night. I’m not sure my liver can take it.”

“I’ll buy you truffle fries.” Elise singsonged.

“Well, one drink won’t kill me.” Charlie capitulated.

“That’s the spirit.”

They linked arms and waved goodbye to Marie before heading down to Faneuil Hall.

-

Charlie was true to her word and only had one drink. Which was good fortune because she was sober enough to realize when she got home, her front door was ajar. She dropped her purse at the door and grabbed a commemorative hockey stick from a Bruins game from the umbrella holder by the door. Wielding it like a sword, she stepped first into the living room to find the place not ransacked, but rumpled, as though someone had gone through her things but attempted to put them back as they were.

“Hello?” she called out like every soon to be dead girl in a horror film. A noise echoed from her bedroom and Charlie tightened her grip on the hockey stick and made her way there. She nearly dropped the stick when she saw the man she presumed to be Mr. Shelley standing there, her silk pajamas fisted in his hand.

“What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!” She yelled.

In a blur, the hockey stick disappeared from her hand. She glanced around the room to find it but saw it nowhere in sight. It wasn’t until the end of the weekend Charlie noticed it back in its place in the umbrella holder by the front door.

“Are you going to answer my question or just stand there, creasing my best set of pajamas?” Charlie tapped her foot on the floor. “You can’t be in here. It’s my place.”

“Yes, I can.” His words slow like syrup. His accent British. Charlie’s chest tightened for a moment. “I’m the manager.”

“I thought your name was Shelley. The guy that owns this place is Nicolas Copernicus. Fake name if you ask me.”

“Shit.” The man whispered under his breath. At least he dropped her pajamas. “I used the name Shelley so you wouldn’t bother me when I moved in. So I have the right to be here.”

“No you don’t.” She planted her hands on her hips.

“I beg your pardon? This is my house. I don’t need permission to enter it.” His voice louder and the tone more not mad but irritated, as though he hated talking to people and this conversation had already gone on too long.

“Massachusetts Regulation 940 says you must give a tenant at least 24 hours before entry a residence unless it is an emergency.”

“Bloody fucking regulations. There was a leak.” His face contorted for a moment. If Charlie paid attention more, she would have realized he was in pain, but she was only concerned about him lying. About his name, about being there, about everything.

“There was a leak.” She made each word pointed. “… in my delicates drawer.”

He dropped his head and pushed past her. “I’m leaving.”

“Wait!” She called after him but he didn’t break his long stride to the front door. “I want to talk to you!” But the slamming of the front door and boots traveling down the stairs answered her plea instead.

Soon the basement door slammed, followed by the sound of feedback and music coming up through the floorboards. Charlie sulked for a moment before crouching down to pick up the bits of silk, satin and lace clothing on the floor.

“No respect.” she muttered before flopping onto the bed. The frame creaked as Charlie laid down onto the pile of pillows. At least five, not counting decorative ones. She closed her eyes and listened to the hum of whatever music, Shelley, or Nick, or whatever the hell his name was playing down there. Charlie had half a mind to stomp on the floor when a lightbulb went off.

“What a scathingly brilliant idea!” She grabbed her phone and scrolled until she found what she was looking for and headed off to take a shower before setting her plan into action later that night.

[cupcakes-and-pain]

☼ and ♦️ for all the beans? 👀

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon, ☼ - appearance headcanon

Kad:

First off, Kad likes to spend time with his team, especially playing board games or doing puzzles. He really enjoys coloring books. Also, ever since he was a little kid, he loved to make all kinds of desserts like cakes, cookies, jellies, and more. As for quirks, Kad is a little bit of a germophobe, which is another reason being kept in Tim’s moldy cell was so torturous for him.

As for appearance, he has dark brown hair that go down to his chin with deep brown eyes. He mostly wears solid color t-shirts and jeans. Idk what else I should write really. I mean, there’s pictures of him.

Dyri:

Dyri probably has too many hobbies. Ve likes to skateboard, graffiti (which I don’t normally condone vandalism, but ve is doing it too evil corporations that treat their employees badly, so it all checks out), hang out with vis team, play guitar, and also code. The reason ve has so many hobbies is because between helping out the spy team and going to work with Tim and Anton, ve needs a lot of time for verself because everything else in vis life is incredible stressful. Ve doesn’t really have any quirks except for vis constant need for alone time, but that’s understandable.

Dyri’s appearance is my favorite. Vis hair is naturally black but ve dyes the tips a bright lime green and wears it in spikes. Ve wears a ton of skull shirts, t-shirts with “edgy” quotes on them, chains on vis jeans, black beanies. Basically, ve dresses like an edgy, punk teenager and I love it.

Eden:

Eden is very spiritual, which is kinda both a hobby and a quirk? I guess? Anyway, they also really like to cook and often will invite Kad and Silva into the kitchen to all make delicious meals together. Another quirk they have is that they share Kad’s love of cleanliness and makes everyone take off their shoes before entering the house.

They hair used to be a dark brown, but despite the fact that they’re only 47, almost all of it is gray now. They have kind brown eyes that seem like they can see right into your soul. They always wear it in a neat bun. They wear turtlenecks, sweaters, lots of slippers, and other comfortable clothes.

Janelle:

Janelle is very athletic and also a daredevil, so her hobbies include a lot of stuff like parkour, skateboard tricks, surfing, running, and stuff like that. In a different life, one without a huge, evil corporation trying to take over the country, she’d probably be a famous athlete or go to the Olympics. As for quirks, I don’t really know. I feel like she’d be unintentionally really good at dancing. She’s never taken any kind of dance classes, but you know she’d be the type to kill it on the dance floor.

She has very curly brown hair that is often worn it pigtails. She always has an expression of childlike wonder on her face. Lots of work out clothes and inspirational t-shirts. Tennis shoes all day everyday.

Silva:

Just like Dyri, she’s a master at coding. That’s probably how they bonded so much. She isn’t really one for the outdoors, so she spends most of her time knitting, coloring with Kad, or cooking with Eden. As for quirks, I guess her dislike of the outdoors is one. Also, she almost exclusively wears clothes that are yellow or a baby blue. She just really likes those colors.

She has shoulder-length, bright red hair. Almost always wearing makeup, mostly just natural looks but sometimes breaks out some bright lipsticks or colorful eyeshadow. Modest dresses and skirts, heels and fashionable boots, jewelry, maybe a purse to match her outfit or something like that.

[sunflowerhazzavol6]

Pacific Coast

A/N- This is probably the first time I’ve sat down and written an entire piece in one afternoon and I actually really enjoyed writing this one, so I hope you all love it as much as I do! I’ll probably start getting to your requests tomorrow, but please feel free to put one in if you haven’t already! I’m excited about what I’ve seen in there so far and I can’t wait to get to writing.

Y/N is with her sister in Malibu, CA to grieve their father and to continue a tradition that he had carried on from their childhood. While there, she meets a familiar stranger and finds herself to be more confident and comfortable with him than with anyone else before him. 3,500 words of pretty much pure fluff with a Jamaica-esque Harry :) Marijuana usage and cursing.

She knew it was the right decision as soon as she let herself relax in the driver's seat, her hand nonchalantly placed out the window as the air blew through her fingers. She had forgotten how beautiful and familiar the Pacific Coast Highway was. Her father had taken her down here a few times during her childhood to relive his younger days as a beach bum surfer, and she treasured those memories more than anything else. Now she was older and understood the pull; Malibu made it easy to escape your boring, corporate life and fall into the easygoing nature of the tide.

Her sister sighed dreamily as she rested her head on her hand, her elbow propped in the window. “Dad would love this. His two girls, off on an adventure.”

“Sure he would. Which is exactly the reason mom would hate it.” Y/n smiles over at her, propping a joint between her lips and leaning into her sister’s hand as she lights it.

“Mom would hate this more than anything else.” Elise was two years younger than her but probably one of the most level-headed mature people she knew. Y/n would never say it out loud, but she felt incredibly lucky to be related to her best friend.

“Hate what? The weed?” She sucks in a drag, relaxing back into the seat as she blows it out and passes it back to her sister.

“Well, yeah. That and the irresponsible spending of money.”

Y/n lets out a syllable of a laugh, the last few traces of smoke escaping her lips. “Fuck it. We’re young. And if all goes to plan, we won’t be spending any of our own money on drinks, which is the biggest expense of all.”

Elise rolls her eyes but smiles, ashing the joint out the window. “So what's first on the agenda? Sunset surf?”

“Not tonight. We need to wax the boards later, though, so that we can tomorrow.” She exits the highway, following the familiar road to their favorite beach spot. The sisters pass the joint back and forth until it’s nothing but a roach, stamping it out in the empty Altoids box in the center console. Y/n can feel herself start to get giggly, the marijuana working its way through her system to relax every muscle in her body. When she looks over at her sister she sees the same thing mirrored back at her, squinty eyes with crows feet in the corners from the pure bliss.

By the time they find a parking spot she immediately jumps out of the car, running to the sand with a happy yell. It's warm from the SoCal sun, and she sighs at the familiarity of it between her toes. “ ‘Lise, grab the blanket!” She calls over her shoulder, reaching down to feel it run through her fingers. Coming to the beach always felt just as warm in her insides as it did on the outside. She could feel her father here, hear his laugh. If she closed her eyes she could feel his hand ruffle her hair, saying, “come on pumpkin, get in the water. Can you smell the salt?”

Her feet carry her forward before she has time to think about where she’s going, magnetized towards the foamy surf. If she could just feel the bubbles around her ankles, then maybe he would make an appearance, he would be right-

“Oi!” She collides with something solid and wet, and she gasps before opening her eyes. “Watch where you’re going!” A strong hand reaches out to steady her by her shoulder, and then she feels it shake with laughter. “Ah, right.”

“Fuck, sorry.” She takes a step back, blushing. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Or you’re stoned.” He secures his board under his arm and then runs his hand through his dark brown hair, dotted with the light grains of sand.

“Er, yeah. Sorry.” She turns an even brighter red, and prays to dear god that he would just think it was a sunburn.

“No need to apologize for being high. You and every other person here. Just maybe get some eye drops if you want to be inconspicuous.” He lets out a deep but raspy laugh, holding out his hand. “Harry.”

She grasps it in hers, giving it a firm shake. Something about him was familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. “Y/n.”

“Right. Y/n. You from around here?”

“Uh, no. I drove here with my sister from Oregon. Our dad used to bring us here in the summers and he just…” She trails off, biting her lip. “Anyways, we’re here for a long weekend to surf and get away from our lives back at home.”

“Malibu is the place to go for escaping.” He sets the end of his board down in the sand, leaning against it. She can see the stretch of his brown skin across his abdominal muscles as he does so, her eyes following the tattooed ferns on his v-line to where it disappears into his dark wetsuit, the arm sleeves tied around his waist to obstruct her view of anything else. She clears her throat and stands up straighter, hoping that the stare only felt drawn out because of her state of mind.

“Is that why you’re here?”

Harry smiles at the boldness of her question, dimples indenting into his cheeks. “Precisely why I’m here. Much harder to feel the pressures of life when your only responsibility is to make sure you don’t drown.”

“That's a funny way to look at it.”

“Is it?”

“Pretty existential if you ask me.”

He laughs again, his smile going lopsided. “Well, y/n, I guess I’ll leave you to your stoned reflections. See you around?”

“I think you’re in control of whether or not you see me around.”

His grin goes even wider at her forwardness, and she seems shocked at it herself. “I suppose you’re right.” He nods to the boardwalk some ways away. “I’ll be at Rusty’s tonight. Come by and I’ll buy you a drink.”

“Hmm. Then I guess I’ll see you around.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“I guess you will. Nice meeting you, y/n.”

“Nice meeting you, Harry.” He shakes his head with a laugh and then nods to someone behind her before jogging away with his surfboard under his arm. Suddenly her sister is next to her, giggling.

“That didn’t take you very long at all. I’ve never seen you flirt like that in my life.”

“My god. Is my heart still beating?” She yanks her sister’s hand and pushes her two fingers against where she thought her pulse should be. “Can you feel anything?”

“Very strong. Very fast.” She laughs, looking over her shoulder at his retreating figure. “Jesus. Look at that ass, too. Did you see his tattoos?”

“Did I see his tattoos? I was practically drooling over them.” She stands on her toes to look beyond her sister. Harry is talking to a small group of girls, all of whom seem to be overly ecstatic about the handsome man in front of them. Y/n gets the sense of knowing him again before shaking it off. “You’re sure my heart is still working?”

“Positive. What did he say?”

“I think he asked me out.”

“He did what?!” Elise drops the blanket in her arms onto the sand, grabbing y/n’s shoulders. “What exactly did he say?”

“He said he’d see me around, so I said that that was up to him, and then he said he’d be at some place called Rusty’s.”

“Y/n!” She shakes her older sister aggressively with a laugh. “He totally asked you out! Or actually, you asked him.”

“I did? Fuck, how much did I smoke?” She puts a hand on her forehead with a groan, but starts laughing immediately after. “I never would have done that if dad was here.”

“No, you definitely wouldn’t. Now let's get some sun, you beach slut. Calm you down a little bit before you jump someone’s bones.”

The sky is a dark hazy orange when she stands at the entrance of Rusty’s, chewing on her lower lip nervously. Her sister had insisted on the white crop top with the straight neckline, talking about how she had incredible collarbones and needed to show them off. Y/n had never considered the sex appeal of collar bones, but trusted Elise to know what suited her. She had paired it with high-waisted jeans that she had thrifted a year ago. They were her favorite pair- worn perfectly to fit the comfort she required with her clothing while also shaping each curve of her body. If she had her own pair of magical traveling pants, these were it, and her sister had agreed that they were the right choice if she wanted to seem nonchalant in her desire to get laid. Not that that was the goal. Although it would be nice to-

Her thoughts are interrupted again by Harry, though this time he's dressed in a mostly-unbuttoned blue floral shirt and yellow swimming shorts. Two sparrows on his pectoral muscles peak from behind the fabric, and she ignores the feeling in the pit of her stomach about what else the shirt was hiding. “Y/n. It seems like daydreaming isn’t just a stoned thing for you, eh?”

“Apparently not.” She reaches up to play with the gold chain of her necklace, a small garnet hanging from the end of it. “You know, most people wear more clothes when they’re on shore, not less.”

“Is that so? I wasn’t aware you had a particular dress code in mind for me to follow.” He smiles at her teasingly, crossing his arms over his chest. His biceps bulge at the contact but she pays them no mind, focusing instead on his eyes. What before had seemed like a sea-glass green were now more of a murky color, brooding and mysterious.

“I don’t. Just an observation.”

“Ah. Maybe you should tell me more of your many observations inside, yeah?”

“Shouldn’t you be so lucky.” She remarks with a smile. He laughs and follows her inside the bar, pressing a warm hand to the exposed skin of her back as he guides her through the crowd of people. She shudders at the contact, allowing him to bring her to the bar. She doesn’t even hear what he orders for them, soaking up the scene. It seemed busy for a Thursday night, most of the patrons either young people around their age or retired locals.  She had been here before, but hadn’t remembered it after so many years. She cranes her neck until her eyes find the booth that she had inhabited. For a second she thinks she can see the familiar sandy blonde hair of her dad, but as soon as she does it’s gone.

“I hope you like beer.” Harry holds up two full pints, both foaming at the top above the amber liquid. “They’re known for their drafts.”

“I love beer. But how do you even know if I’m 21?”

Harry raises his eyebrows and his eyes go wide. “Are you not?”

“I’m 22. But you didn’t know that. What if you were supplying alcohol to a minor?”

He shrugs. “Drinking laws in America are dumb as it is. But this would have been a very short date.”

She smiles, taking one of the pints from his hand. “A man of morals, I see.”

“A man with seemingly skewed morals.” He looks over her head and then back down to her face. “Want to go sit on the patio? The sun hasn’t quite set yet and I want to see if it flashes green tonight.” She nods, and again his palm finds its way to her back as he lets her lead them to a table at the edge with an unobstructed view of the skyline. He clears his throat and she laughs when he pulls her chair out for her.

“What an English gentleman.” She says as she sits, setting her beer down on the table.

“I’m nothing if not a gentleman.” He boasts, but his dimples allude to his teasing.

“My dad used to look for the green flash too. Mom used to lecture him endlessly for ruining his eyesight, but no matter what we were doing or where we were in Malibu, he would find his way to some cliff or beach to watch the sun set.”

“Used to?”

Y/n looks down, brushing her finger up the side of her glass to gather the condensation in distraction. “Uh, yeah. He died a few months ago. Cancer.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Harry puts a hand over her hand on the table, and their eyes meet. Usually when people apologized for her loss, they were sympathetic but otherwise empty. Harry’s were genuine, empathetic even. “I lost my step-dad a while back. It fucking sucks.”

She laughs a bit at his bluntness. “It does. There's really no other way to describe it. Because it affects everyone at some point, right? And it’s no one's fault. It just... fucking sucks.”

“So that’s why you’re here then? You mentioned earlier that he brought you here in the summer.”

She smiles at his memory. “Yeah. My sister and I didn’t want to halt tradition just because he couldn’t be here. Even as adults he insisted that we come along with, so it kind of just became something that we expected to do every summer for the rest of our lives. I don’t know. I guess we didn’t want to stop just because he was gone. If anything he’d want us to continue to enjoy the place he loved so much.”

“I like that. That you didn’t even really have to think about it.” He holds up his glass. “Well in that case, to your dad. May Malibu always be a place for him to be with you.”

Y/n feels tears sting her eyes as she holds up her own glass to clink against his. “To dad.”

She watches as Harry takes a swig of his beer while she mirrors him. Immediately he jumps into conversation, sensing her need for distraction while she reflects. He talks a bit of nonsense about how the surfing was that day, watching her face to read into where her head was at. He was always good at that, and could sense even the slightest change in someone's demeanor. Y/n seemed like the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, and seemed emotionally intelligent enough to the point where she would deal with her emotions when she felt them rather than pushing them to the side. When the clouds in her eyes seem to disappear he slides to sit beside her rather than across from her, casually slinging his arm over the back of her chair. “Look. Sun is setting. You know, I’ve been told that if you can see the flash, you get a wish.”

“Is that so?” She subconsciously leans into him, watching the skyline. The rest of the bar seems to settle into a gentle hum as everyone cranes to see the sun.

“Definitely.” He drops his hand to her arm, rubbing his thumb back and forth. She bites her lip at the contact, looking up at him. His features, while chiseled and structured, were equally as soft and kind. She could sense that in the future he would sport crows feet at the corner of his eyes while others would harbor insecurity over the frown lines in their forehead. Her eyes followed the slope of his nose down to his shell-pink lips, and then jumped back up just in time to see the bright green reflecting in his eyes. As soon as it’s there it’s gone, and his pupils dilate when they meet hers. “Did you see the-”

Now it’s her turn to cut him off, her lips pressing to his. His eyes widen in surprise before drifting shut, his lips softening to invite hers in more. He didn’t need to ask her to know what her wish was, and found himself drawing her closer, needing more, more, more. He had never felt a kiss like this before, one filled equally with passion and softness. He could feel the air of self-consciousness in her lips as she started to pull away, and just as quickly he brought her back in with the pull of his own lips, coaxing her into relaxation. When he finally does separate their lips she’s rendered speechless, glancing around. No one seems to have noticed, too busy discussing the phenomenon they just witnessed. Meanwhile she’s processing the phenomenon in her own head, eating away at the walls of her belly.

“Wow.” He breathes, scratching the back of his neck before looking around. When his eyes come back to hers he grins, the left side of his mouth quirked up higher than the right. “Wow.”

She clears her throat, taking a sip of her beer and raising her eyebrows at him over the glass. He laughs, and when she comes back up he kisses her again, gliding his tongue along her upper lip to collect the foam before pulling back into his own seat, the boyish smirk taking over his face. “Anyways.”

“Anyways.” She repeats.

“How was that?”

“I’ll consider giving a good Yelp review.”

He laughs and she can’t help but kiss him again. This makes him smile more, and he leans back into a stretch as she pulls away, clearly pleased with himself. “Well that concludes your tour of Malibu nightlife, anything beyond that is going to cost you a pretty penny. I suppose I could cut you a discount, since you’re grieving and all…” He trails off when she smacks him, and he grabs her wrist while he laughs. “If you’re going to be throwing yourself at me like that, at least buy me dinner first.”

“God, you’re relentless!” Her cheeks are a bright red now, and he slides his hand so their fingers are intertwined.

“Seriously, you want some food? They’ve got some mean burgers here. I won’t make you pay though. Although I do expect more of whatever that was afterwards.”

“Harry.” She hisses through her teeth. “God, I’m never kissing anyone off of a whim again.”

“I sure hope not. I liked that being just for me.” He waves at a waitress, who seems to know him. She mouths the word ‘burger?’ and he holds up two fingers. She nods before walking away.

“Do you always come here and kiss strange girls?” Y/n asks, laughing.

“No. You’d be the first. Usually I drown here in my loneliness and drink until the pain ebs away.” He takes a sip of his beer. “Not actually. But I do come here enough that they know my order it seems.”

“Interesting.” She smiles into her glass as she finishes off the beer.

“Wow. I’m going to have to keep up with you.” He finishes his own, before taking his sunglasses out of his hair and ruffling it.

“So, Harry, what do you do?”

“Hmm? Oh. I’m a musician.”

“You are?” She perks up a bit, folding her arms on the table in front of her. “What kind of music?”

“Any, really. Lots of rock influences, but I mainly just play whatever feels right.”

“Anything I would know?”

He smiles and she’s immediately frustrated by his coyness. “Harry.”

“What?” He grins even wider, playing with the napkin dispenser.

Suddenly it hits her like a truck. Her own familiarity with him, the girls on the beach. “Styles. You’re Harry Styles.”

He hums as a confirmation, running a hand through his hair. “So about that Yelp review…”

She can’t help but laugh, shaking her head and burying her face in her arms with a groan.

“What’s that about?” He snorts.

“I just threw myself on a world renowned rock star.”

“I licked beer off of your lip.” He points out, leaning down to rest his chin on his arms in front of her.

“Only because I suffocated you with my misplaced hormones.” She peeks out from her forearms, and he can see the blush on the tips of her cheeks.

“Misplaced? Hardly. You only jump started what I would have done later. Though I would have done it consensually, mind you.” He sits up straight while she groans and buries her face back into her arms. “Y/n, I’m teasing.” He laughs. She holds up her middle finger and he grabs her hand, kissing her knuckles. His voice drops to a hushed whisper. “Y/n, if I didn’t want to kiss you I wouldn’t have. Can you please come out of hiding now?”

She slowly sits back up, glaring at him. “You could have told me who you really were before I threw myself at you.”

“I kind of like that you agreed to go out with me without knowing.”

“So we’re inflating your ego now, are we? That’s at least one star deducted.”

He grins at the return of her playfulness. “What a shame. I suppose I’ll have to earn it back, hm?” He leans into her.

“I suppose you will.”

[jitterbugperson]

Talentswap AU Prologue: Part 2

Yeah these are gonna come out weird, you’re gonna get a flood of updates when I have a random spike in motivation and then just radio silence for a month, that’s just how it goes.

Prologue: Same School, Same Rules, Different people - Part 1

As soon as the doors swung open, fluorescent lights even brighter than those in the hallway pierced his eyes, causing him to flinch back away from the door and close his eyes for a moment. When they opened again, he noticed an abrupt halt in the speaking, and several pairs of eyes were on him now. He felt a shiver run down his spine at their presence, feeling a strong aura coming from the students in this room. He couldn't let it get to him though. He knew what he was getting into by accepting the invitation, and he was prepared. Keeping the smile wide, he stepped into the entrance hall.

“Um, hi everyone! I guess I was a little late to the meeting, huh?” He said sheepishly, feeling his heart start racing when no one answered him, only continuing to stare.

“Sorry if I’m interrupting something.” He tacked on fast, trying to cover up his embarrassment. The tension grew when again, no one answered, until someone towards the front stepped forward.

“Are you the sixteenth student?”

Kaito felt surprised at that. This person was getting straight to the point. He turned to the voice and saw a small girl staring up at him with piercing red eyes. The first thing he noticed about her was that she was much shorter than he was (not entirely surprising considering his height), with brown hair in a loose ponytail and a deep red jacket that matched her irises buttoned over her uniform, which was mostly just a button up, tie, sleek black legging and dress shoes. He could feel her gaze peering into his brain, and he gulped, keeping his smile. <i>So this is what the Ultimates are like.</i> 

“Yup! Guess everyone else is already here?” He asks, quickly counting the others in the room with him to make sure the number was correct. The small girl hummed in acknowledgement, stared him down for a few seconds longer, then stepped back. Kaito took the opportunity to relax a bit, not realizing he was so tense until she was further away from him. He turned away from the girl to look at the others in the room.

“So, is this all like, tradition at this school? I know this school isn’t like the others, but are all of the windows and creepy lighting necessary?” He tries to make a joke to lighten the mood of the room, but it doesn’t have the intended effect. Instead, several students made eye contact, communicating something between them that he wasn’t aware of. 

One of the others, a much taller girl with sleek blonde hair in a very professional looking pink dress with a leg cut, high heels, and a feathery white boa around her neck, made eye contact with Kaito. Her gaze wasn’t as intense as the smaller girl’s, but it was still very intimidating by her sheet height alone.

“How do you remember getting here?”

That was an odd question, but considering the odd circumstances around his arrival, it may be important.

“Well, I don’t actually remember. I sort of passed out in front of the building and woke up in one of the classrooms.” He gave a small laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as nervous as he felt like it did.

At his response, the tall girl seems to get disheartened, for some reason Kaito can’t pinpoint. He hears a few sighs ring out in the group he’s in, making him more confused.

“Is… something wrong with that?”

“It’s how we all got here.” A girl with pinkish-blonde hair standing next to the one with the boa spoke up. Similarly to the boa girl, this student was dressed rather lavishly too, although more in a fashionable sense. She wasn’t wearing her uniform, and was instead wearing a several piece outfit centered around the black, white, and pink color scheme. It was fashionable, and rather provocative in some areas. She definitely had no problem showing off some skin, that’s for sure. Keeping his eyes locked with hers and away from her more… exposed areas, Kaito gave her a questioning look.

“Wait, so none of you know how you got here?” He asked, taking a step closer. Both girls shook their heads. 

“Nope. At least from what we’ve gathered so far, no one remembered much after arriving at the building. Of course, we all remember the basic stuff, like our names, our families, our talents…” The boa girl trails off at the end, her eyes unconsciously traveling to a group of three standing in the corner of the room, one of which being the girl in the red jacket who’d talked to Kaito earlier.

“Well, most of us anyway.” The girl finished off, before turning to face Kaito.

“Speaking of, none of us have introduced ourselves.” She calmly offers a hand to Kaito, along with a small, charismatic smile.

“Kaede Akamatsu. You probably recognize my last name I assume.” 

Kaito took a second to process this after taking her hand and shaking it. He did recognize her last name, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly from where…

“OH! The Akamastu corporation!” Kaito blurted out as soon as the realization hit him. He heard some laughter next to him, and the crudely dressed girl leaned over, slinging her arm over the taller girl’s shoulders. Kaede seemed comfortable with this and made no move to retreat from the gesture.

“Hell yeah she is. My girl here’s got a fortune behind her name, so you better be nice.” 

Kaede let out a small, breathy laugh.

“She’s joking, of course. I’m the Ultimate Affluent Progeny, which sounds sort of threatening, but it simply means I’m to inherit a large fortune when I become an adult.”

“Oh.” Kaito muttered. No matter how she phrased it, that’s still threatening, especially to someone like him, who’d never gotten an allowance over $20 before in his life.

“Yup. But she works hard for that money, so don’t go thinkin’ she’s one of those pretentious brats who get everything handed to ‘em.” The pink-blonde spoke up on behalf of the other girl. 

Kaito gave them a once over, noticing their comfortable posture around one another and the fact that the pink-blonde keeps speaking up for her taller friend.

“Do you two know each other?” He questioned. They both nodded.

“My parents like me to have the best of the best, and often buy me more expensive and lavish clothes than necessary. Because of her profession, we often come in contact with each other, and we’ve become friends over this.” Kaede explained.

“Profession?” Kaito felt like he was missing some information here.

“Yup! I’m Miu Iruma, Ultimate Fashionista, baby!” She yelled out, proud and cheerful. It was a good energy to have, considering their situation. 

“Oh, yeah I think I’ve heard of you before too. You’re in a lot of teen magazines.” Kaito now recognizes her from magazines he’s seen in stores before. He’d never bought any, but he now realized where she seemed familiar from. 

After he’d said that, Miu looked him up and down, sizing him up.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you before though. You have to be big to get into this school, so what’s your deal kid?”

He mentally flinched at the use of the word “Kid”, as that was not one he liked to be used to describe him, but he didn’t comment on it.

“Uh, well it’s not special, and I’m not big like the rest of you are. I don’t really have a talent, I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student. It just means I got here through chance, they picked me out of a bunch of average students.”

Miu and Kaede shared a look, but it wasn’t one of pity or disgust like he’d been expecting. 

“That’s still a talent nonetheless.” Kaede reassures him. Miu pipes up from behind her.

“Still better than those three.” She gestures lazily to the three in the corner Kaede had looked at earlier. Kaede elbows her friend at the comment.

“Stop being rude.”

“Wait, what’s wrong with their talents?” Kaito asks instinctively. Kaede gives the three a sympathetic look.

“Well, that’s the thing. You see, Miu and I were one of the first two to wake up and make it to the entrance hall, and we’ve been gathering people’s talents since they’ve started arriving.” Kaede pulls a folded paper from a well hidden pocket in her dress, along with a pen. As she unfolds the paper, he notices the outside of it is from the card he’d seen on his earlier with the scribbled crayon writing. <i>So everyone got one of those.</i>

“I’ve been keeping a record of names and talents, but those three over there-” She gestures to them, “- don’t seem to remember their talents, unfortunately. Well, we think the purple haired one doesn’t remember. He wouldn’t tell us that or his name.”

Kaito looks at the mentioned purple haired guy, finding him to be the shortest one of the bunch. He had dark purple hair, a shade not unlike Kaito’s own, tied in a tiny bunch at the base of his neck. He was wearing very comfortable clothes of the gray, white, and black color scheme, obviously not caring for the dress code or required uniforms. He seemed fairly normal, the only defining features of his outfit being the grey and black checkered scarf around his neck, and the military-style black hat on his head. 

Kaito heard a snort from beside him, making him turn his gaze away from the short guy.

“Yeah, little asshole laughed at us when we tried to get his name and talent. I’d stay away from him if I were you, he’s definitely bad news.” Miu said, taking a moment to stick her tongue out at him, to which he didn’t respond to.

“Oh, alright then.” Kaito looks at the three outcasts of the group, standing away from the others, composed of the purple haired guy, the girl in the red jacket, and someone else he hadn’t talked to or heard about before. He was furthest away from the group, keeping to himself. He was dressed modestly, in normal everyday clothes of a darker hue. He had navy blue hair, from what Kaito could see underneath the large hat he kept his face hidden under. 

Kaito broke his gaze away, realizing he was staring, turning instead to face the two girls.

“So uh, what about the others? You’ve been keeping track, so I’m guessing you know the names and talents of the other nine?”

Kaede nodded.

“The others were much more cooperative, and didn’t seem to have any trouble sharing their talents with me.”

She looks up at Kaito.

“Are you interested in learning about the others?” She asked. Kaito nodded without hesitating.

“Oh, alright then.” She looks down at her paper, and begins to read them off.

[highfivecalum]

Love and Communication {CH}

Lena sighed happily as the sun gleamed down on her. It had been a horrible winter and she couldn’t wait for warm weather and the sun to shine. It was a particularly nice day, the sun shining and it in the seventies making it the perfect weather for a run. With her long hair tied up, Lena pressed play on her phone and started her run through Central Park. Since she moved back to New York City in the winter she hadn’t been able to do much of what she used to do, like running in the park.

She was enjoying her run, smiling at passersby and little kids who were running around the grass. There were people having picnics, walking their dogs, or simply sitting on the benches reading. It seemed like she wasn’t the only one who was looking forward to warmer weather. She liked winter because of the holidays and hot chocolate, but she would trade in cold weather for warm no questions asked.

After thirty minutes of running and only breaking a light sweat, Lena slowed down, coming to a walk. She hadn’t gone on a run in months and she didn’t want to overwork her body, so she opted for walking the rest of the time. She was on a mission to get back home and chug some more water, but stopped when a small dog came running towards her. It wasn’t on a leash and she looked around in hopes for an owner, but nobody around her seemed to have lost their dog.

Bending down, Lena pet the dog, laughing as it jumped up to lick her face. “Hi buddy.” Lena checked it for a collar of any sort and was relieved when she saw a name and phone number. The phone number looked oddly familiar, but she didn’t think anything of it. “Hi Duke. Where are you parents?”

Duke barked and panted slightly and Lena frowned. She opened her water bottle that was almost empty and squirted it in the dog's mouth. He looked like he was thirsty and it was hot, so she didn’t want him to be dehydrated or anything. “Duke!” An almost familiar voice made Lena look up from the dog and her eyes widened at who was approaching her and Duke. He slowed down, his eyes widening as well, though they were hidden behind his sunglasses. “Lena? Lena Clements?”

“Oh my god, Calum!” Lena laughed and stood up, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and he happily returned the hug. They swayed back and forth before Lena stepped away, not wanting to get the small amount of sweat that was on her body on Calum’s, and shook her head in disbelief at the man in front of her. “Holy shit! It’s so good to see you!”

Calum Hood was a good friend of Lena’s, well, a good friend of her ex-boyfriend’s. Lena and Luke were together for two years and in those years, Lena became close friends with Luke’s and he with hers. They were all a little group of friends turned family and when Luke broke up with Lena, the boys took his side and the girls took hers, naturally.

Calum was Lena’s favorite friend of Luke’s. She wasn’t sure why, they just had similar personalities and got along well. They were the closest out of the bunch, minus Luke and Lena, of course. So, when the couple broke up, Calum and Lena tried to stay in touch, but eventually grew apart due to Luke’s constant nagging about their friendship.

“What are you doing back here?” Calum had Duke in his arms now, scratching behind his ear absentmindedly while he talked to the girl he was once so close with. “I thought you moved to Chicago?”

“I did for a while, but my job transferred me back here.” Lena explained. She loved Chicago, but New York City was her home and she missed it, so when her boss told her that they were transferring, she wasted no time in packing and moving into a new apartment that was paid for by Corporate. “How is everything with you? Still writing?”

“Everything is good. And yeah, still writing.” Calum smiled widely. He loved to write; music, poetry, stories, anything. Writing was his passion and his calling. He was surprised that Lena remembered, but he shouldn’t have been. He knew she had an impeccable memory and they were once good friends. They once knew everything about each other. “You look great.”

Lena rolled her eyes, knowing full well that she looked like a sweaty mess, but thanked him nonetheless. “You do too.” And it was true. He had grown a few inches taller since she had seen him last. It had only been two years, buthis appearance had changed drastically. He built up more muscle, gotten more tattoos, and died his hair from brown to a blonde color. “How is everyone? Ash? Mikey? Um… Luke?”

Lena hated bringing up Luke. He broke her heart in two without reason and left her when she thought they would be together forever. She wanted to marry him and she swore that she would never get over him and the heartbreak he caused her, but moving to Chicago a few months ago the breakup helped her. She met new friends, new guys, and busied herself with work so much that she almost forgot Luke even existed.

“They’re all good. I haven’t talked to Luke in awhile, though.”

“Oh?” Lena tilted her head in confusion. Luke and Calum were attached by the hip at one point in time, inseparable, brothers. So to hear that they haven’t spoken confused Lena. She never would have guessed that. “Why’s that?”

“He moved to California for work and has been busy.” Calum shrugged as if it was no big deal, but he missed his best friend. Work and new friends in California took over Luke’s life and he kind of left Calum and the rest of the guys behind. “But I’m busy, too, so it’s alright.” Lena nodded her head and smiled sadly, knowing it upset Calum, but said nothing. “Hey, are you doing anything tonight?”

“Not a thing.”

“Wanna grab a drink? I would stay and catch up with you here, but you look like you’re busy running and I have to go meet my mom and sister for lunch.” Calum suggested. He didn’t realize how much he missed Lena until she was standing right in front of him.

“That sounds great,” Lena smiled and pulled out her phone. She had gotten a new phone and hadn’t backed it up, so she lost basically everything, including all of her friends phone numbers. “I lost all of my contacts. What’s your number?”

Calum gave her his number and she texted him just in case he didn’t have hers still. He still did and it made Lena happy that he hadn’t deleted her out of his life after she and Luke broke up. He continued to follow her on all social media and like her Instagram pictures and laugh at her tweets, but they never spoke.

“I’ll text you a place and time?” Calum asked, pocketing his phone and adjusting Duke who was now asleep with his head resting on Calum’s shoulder. Lena nodded her head with a smile and the two hugged before going their separate way.

✧✧✧

The nervousness that Calum felt was unwarranted. He had no reason to be nervous. He and Lena had hung out one on one plenty of times. Sure, he used to have a small crush on her when she was dating Luke, but he was positive it wasn’t serious and that it went away. But when he saw her step inside the bar/restaurant he chose to meet at in a black dress and wedges with her hair and makeup done, he could feel his feelings coming back to him in full force. He couldn’t make a move on her, he knew that much. It was guy code. Never date your best friend’s ex. But was Luke really even considered his best friend anymore? He didn’t know.

He watched as she looked around the semi-crowded restaurant for Calum, smiling at how she still bit her lip when she was focused or deep in thought. Finally, he raised his hand up and called out her name. “Lena!” Her head snapped to the side and her confused expression turned into a smile.

She said excuse me to the few people standing in the middle of the place and quickly made her way over to Calum who was sitting at the round bar. She gave him a half side hug before sitting down on the empty chair next to him. “Hey.” She exhaled, hanging her small purse on the arm of the chair, she rested her elbow on the bar and propped her head up on it. “I’ve never been here before.”

“It just opened a few months ago.”

“Hm,” Lena looked around. There were reds and blacks and the lights were dim. The tables on the restaurant side had candles and flowers on them and on the bar they sat at was a circle, with the bartenders and liquor inside of it. It was a unique place, very fancy, and Lena was glad she dressed right for the occasion. “It’s really nice.”

“What are you drinkin’?” Calum flagged down the bartender and ordered himself a whiskey neat and ordered Lena the Martini she wanted.

The air between them was different. They hung out when they were nineteen and twenty, but now they were reaching twenty-three and twenty-four and something felt different. More personal, mature, intimate. Maybe it was because they had downed a few drinks, never stopped talking, and had somehow ended up closer than before with their knees brushing against one another. Whatever it was - it was different.

Lena giggled into her glass at something Calum had said and lightly placed it back down on the marble bar. She swirled the uneaten olive around and glanced up when she felt Calum’s eyes burning into the side of her head. “What?” She exhaled a breathy laugh. Calum looked at her lips, they were covered red and so was her Martini glass from the lipstick she was wearing.

Calum had never seen her wear lipstick. Only lip gloss, but she had grown up a lot, matured, since the last time he saw her as a freshly turned twenty-one year old. When he knew her before, he never thought she could get any more gorgeous, but God, was he wrong.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lena’s voice was quieter now.

“You’re just fucking beautiful,” Calum couldn’t help but tell her. He watched her blush and duck her head, her face hidden behind her hair to hide the blush on her cheeks, but Calum wanted to see it. Gingerly, he tucked her hair behind her ear, showing off the earrings she had on. Calum watched her throat work as he lightly grazed his thumb against her red cheeks. Red from the blush she put on earlier and from Calum’s words. “I’ve always thought you were too good for Luke.”

“Calum…” Lena shook her head.

“‘M serious, Lena. He treated you like shit. He didn’t deserve you.” Calum wasn’t sure if it was the few glasses of whiskey he had consumed or how overwhelming and good it felt to finally be around her again, but he was telling her everything he had wished he told her before. “And I told him that, too. Told him he that he didn’t deserve a girl like you. Told him that if he didn’t stop treatin’ you like shit he would lose you.” Calum scoffed at the memory of his cocky best friend. “Can’t believe you’re the one that lost him.”

Lena frowned at the memory of her and Luke’s break up. She invited him over to her house, it was almost their two and a half year anniversary. She had cooked his favorite meal and bought an expensive bottle of wine and new set of lingerie just for him, only for him show up dressed in sweats, empty handed, with an break up speech prepared.

Lena wasn’t expecting it. She didn’t see it coming, so it hit her even harder, broke her heart into even more pieces than it should have. She thought she would never recover. Calum was scared she wouldn’t. 

Lena downed the rest of her Martini. “He broke my heart.” She whispered. The bartender saw their empty glasses and refilled them without question which Lena was going to tip him well for. “And I didn’t even see it coming.”

“I know he did.” Calum took her hand in his and brought them up to his lips. He kissed them lightly, waiting for any sign of reaction or rejection, but when Lena did nothing, stayed there staring at him with admiration in her eyes, Calum leaned closer. “And he’s a fucking idiot for that.”

Their lips were close, closer than they ever were or ever should have been, and Lena was hyper aware of that. She wasn’t going to deny that she found Calum attractive, but it was nothing more than that. Or that’s what she told herself.

“Calum…” Lena breathed. “We-we can’t. You’re Luke’s best friend.”

“Am I?” Calum questioned. “Haven’t heard from him in three months, Lena. He left, made new friends, and left us all behind. Wouldn’t consider him my best friend anymore, would you?”

“No,” Lena shook her head. “I wouldn’t.”

That’s all it took for Calum to press his lips together and nearly moan into Lena’s mouth when she kissed back and deepened it. She slid off of the wooden chair, her satin dress making it easy for her to do so, and found home in between Calum’s legs. His hands found her waist and he squeezed them when he felt Lena’s fingers lace through his hair.

He kissed her like he always wanted to and then it hit him. Fuck, he once loved her. He never thought it was love, just a small crush, but maybe that’s just what he convinced himself to believe. He didn’t love her anymore, the time and distance mixed with the lack of speaking and seeing each other had it fading away as time went by, but being with her; touching, tasting, and feeling her lips, he was sure he was going to fall in love all over again.

✧✧✧

Taglist: @wrappedaroundcal @cosmocalum @roselukes @kinglyhood @cantbehandled-ever @hereforlukescruff @astroashtonio @monsteramongmikey @5secsofsomewhere @gosh-im-short @emma070900 @youmaycallmemrshemmings @grittyisathot @cakesunflower

(if you want to be added or taken off the taglist send me an ask!)

[nekojitachan]

The Ghost in You peek (this is ch8. yeah, ch8. trying to figure out a scene that doesn’t give away TOO much of what’s happening in it, but... plotty. this is plotty. groundwork and all. and a bit of pining. and humor? i’m delusional, but still writing)

*******

Andrew fought the urge to sleep while Wymack prattled on about some possible certification classes, only because the old bastard would dock his pay each time he was caught with his eyes closed during the monthly staff meeting. Robin and Bee, who sat on opposite sides of him, would ‘help’ out when they noticed his attention drift off (Bee by nudging his foot, Robin by knocking her chair into his), but the meetings were always too long and boring as hell.

It didn’t help that Neil sat across from him, dressed in one of the new tops which Reynolds had bought for him; the soft material of the pale grey top clung a bit more to his upper body than his usual outfits, highlighting the fact that he’d put on a few necessary pounds in the last several weeks with an improved diet. The idiot’s hair was still an overgrown, tousled mess since Reynolds hadn’t worn him down enough to get it properly styled (yet), but Andrew could easily imagine it combed into some semblance of order. Could imagine pale blue eyes peering at him through the thick strands rather than dark brown, framed by lush lashes and-

He jolted when Bee did more than ‘nudge’ his foot that time and gave his adopted mother a narrow look while she smiled on in false innocence before motioning toward the front of the conference room, where Wymack was motioning to some new slide.

“-heard back from the contractors on their estimates for the new electrical and remodeling we need.” Wymack didn’t look happy, which made sense when Andrew noticed the figures being displayed. “We can do it in phases, but it’s best to get it done sooner rather than later before we get hit with a code violation. The problem is, it’s worse than we thought so that’s gonna cost more than we’ve put aside for such situations. Which brings us to our next topic – any idea for fundraisers to meet the budget shortfall?”

The various expressions of surprise, pained grimaces and sympathy changed to contemplation while a grinning Seth raised his left hand into the air. “Yeah, how about a bikini car wash!”

“Wonderful, I’m sure you and rest of the guys will look so cute in them,” Dan drawled as she glared at the moron. “Be sure to wear lots of sunscreen.”

“Aw, I think I can rock a tankini,” Matt joked while Seth glowered back at his girlfriend. “Jeremy, you in?”

“Uhm, sure.” Knox blinked at first then grinned as well. “Maybe not a tankini but some really small boyshorts? How about a candy bikini top?” He gestured to his chest while he glanced at Moreau, who covered his face with his hands as he muttered something that sounded to be a prayer in French; Andrew noticed that Neil had taken to sliding down in his chair as if to make himself unnoticeable, his expression a little too blank.

Of course someone covered with scars and possessed with the ability to read people’s thoughts and memories at a mere touch wouldn’t want to wear a swimsuit.

When Kevin started to go on about matching outfits, Wymack banged his right fist into the wall to get everyone’s attention. “Great, so glad to see everyone all on board, but no.” He glared at Seth as well before he shook his head. “Not quite the image we want to go with, considering what we do. How about some other child-friendly ideas, you brain-dead maggots.”

Oh yes, child-friendly indeed, their fearless leader.

“I suppose… I suppose a bake sale is out?” Robin offered in a quiet voice. “It’s so much money.”

Katelyn gave her a friendly smile while she shook her head. “Even with Renee, Nicky and Erik baking up a storm,” Renee smiled and Nicky preened at the compliment, “we’d have to hold a lot of them to make that much money.”

“That or sell a bunch of ‘medicinal brownies’ or something,” Aaron muttered as he glowered at the projected numbers.

“I’d rather not have anyone end up in jail,” Abby argued, as ever a buzzkill. “Any legal suggestions?”

“Well….” Renee gave Reynolds a considering look. “How about an auction? Allison raised a lot of money for the local woman’s shelter by hosting one.”

“Auctioning off what? A bunch of stuffed animals?” Aaron scoffed, only to duck his head when Katelyn frowned at him.

Reynolds tapped her nails against the table’s top as she considered Renee’s suggestion. “No, you – or more like, Wymack and me – hit up a bunch of corporations and people with more shit than they need for donations, the whole ‘good cause, tax write-off, do it for the children, blah, blah, blah’ spiel.” She waved her right hand through the air in a dismissive gesture. “You’ll be surprised what people will hand over for that tax deduction-slash-bragging rights, and then we turn around and let other people bid on stuff. It gets us the necessary money and a bit of publicity for the donors, win/win all around.”

Wymack glanced at Abby and Bee, both who smiled and nodded in approval, before he gazed at Reynolds while he rubbed along his jaw. “It’ll work?”

“Oh yeah.” Reynolds sounded confident; Andrew was sure she could pull it off, since she wouldn’t lie to Wymack about something so important. “We raised a lot of money for the shelter doing this, though it does involve some work.”

“I don’t think anyone here minds putting in some extra effort for a good cause,” Wymack said, and smiled with disgusting pride when everyone around the room nodded, even Andrew (albeit only slightly). “Great. We’ll meet up later to start working on this.”

Reynolds glanced at Renee, who smiled as well and nodded before leaning over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Meanwhile, Matt took to pouting. “But I wanted to wear the tankini.”

“Oh honey, you can wear it whenever you want for me,” Dan told him, which made him laugh – at least until Wymack threw a dry eraser at his head and yelled for everyone to pay attention for the rest of the meeting.

Andrew seriously considered a case of food poisoning the day of the next meeting.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Sneak Peak of Bee’s Birthday Fic

So @bcdaily may have three-and-a-half hours to wait until her birthday, it is indeed the 11th of March here in England, so as far as I’m concerned the celebrations can start now. The fic that I’m writing her as a gift is a gargantuan beast and possibly one of the most ambitious fanfiction projects I’ve ever worked on, and though I’m plugging away at it relentlessly, it’s not finished yet, but my girl deserves a present on her birthday, so I’m posting a sneak peak in the form of the fic’s first complete scene.

Bee, my darling, you may actually recognise some of this from a concept I sent you ages ago. I’ve been pondering a bunch of different office romance ideas for over a year, and it wasn’t until I mashed two of them together that I actually came up with the idea for this one. I’m really, really pleased with what I’ve done so far and I’m excited to share the whole thing with you, but for now, please enjoy this little slice of what is inevitably going to be a very, very, very large pie.

Happy Birthday, my dearest, most darling friend. You are my heart home and I love you so, so much (and can’t wait for brunch!!!!!)

May 14th, 2018, 8:09 a.m.

Day One

"Lily, good morning," says Remus, smiling like a docile lamb. "This is James."

The office manager has popped up out of nowhere to make this announcement and does so with very little fanfare, much in the same way one might say "this is a baked potato," except James is certainly not a baked potato, but the only child of the CEO, and Lily Evans has just shoved a bacon baguette into her wide open trap.

She has been expecting Remus to get her back since she covered his desk in printouts of John Travolta, who makes Remus uneasy for reasons he can't or won't explain. She prefaces all of her emails to Remus with "Yo, Adele Dazeem!" for that very reason.

So...yes, his vengeance was expected.

Sneaking up on her with Fleamont's son in tow while Lily is inhaling her breakfast like a wildebeest—admittedly, with flagrant disregard for the office's policy on eating at one's desk (don't do it)—and neglecting her morning's work in favour of shopping online for a new mattress, though, is beyond devious, beyond dastardly.

It's also extremely characteristic of Remus, who approaches pranks with effortless sardonicism and knows that Lily's Achilles' heel is appearing unprofessional to important strangers.

Strangers like her ultimate boss's son, for example.

Understandably, she's startled.

Anyone would be startled, were they happily eating their breakfast and considering the benefits of natural latex foam without a care in the word, only to be assailed by man who jumps out at her unexpectedly to offer a slyly angelic smile and an innocent "this is James," as a cunning counter strike.

Particularly since she isn't meant to be meeting "this is James" for another hour.

And especially since she had been hoping to impress upon "this is James" the notion that she is not a woman to be trifled with, schemed against, or otherwise mistreated.

Her mild fright results in a minor ketchup spillage, which is unfortunate. It dribbles down her chin at speed and fails to land upon her blouse only because Lily swipes her hand over her face and catches most of it before it can drip away. Her breakfast is set down on her desk and she grabs a paper napkin to wipe both chin and hand, the latter of which she waves repeatedly towards her own chest (once clean) to indicate that she's still chewing. That's the thing to do when one is caught with food in one's mouth, as if anyone should have to apologise for needing sustenance to survive.

"Should we come back?" Remus asks, eyeing her mostly uneaten baguette. "I can take him downstairs if you're not ready and—"

"Nnnnmp!" says Lily, shaking her head, and swallows. "S'all fine. Hi."

She will murder Adele Dazeem for this.

He just had to catch her at a gluttonous moment and nab his revenge at the cost of her poise. No chance of him stopping by as she was nibbling on a rice cake or laughing prettily over a salad the way women in lifestyle articles always do. "Ooh, what a healthy and fulfilling life I lead!" they seem to cry, their plastic smiles stretched widely across their unnaturally white teeth. "Greens! Pilates! A beetle in my chopped zucchini! Laugh away the sadness!"

Silly Lily. She never nibbles rice cakes, and she eats salads for the sake of nutrition, but it’s an utterly joyless experience.

"Yes, hello," Remus replies, visibly battling a laugh. "As I'm sure you're aware, this is James Potter. James, this is Lily Evans"—he gestures towards her—"otherwise known as the woman who took your job."

"It's very nice to finally meet you," says James Potter, holding out his hand.

"Likewise," she returns as she shakes it. "Though Remus has just made me sound like some kind of corporate supervillain."

"I'm sure I didn't," says a much-amused Remus.

"It's fine," James assures her. "I couldn't expect my dad to keep the job open after I quit—"

"Your poor mother certainly did," Remus puts in.

"So I heard," is Lily's droll response. Euphemia's determination to dislike her son's replacement had lasted a solid ten seconds into their first meeting, at which point she'd abandoned her resolve in favour of a new plan—adoring and admiring and shamelessly favouring Lily.

"She tells me you're a wonder," says James.

Lily shrugs lightly. "Christ the Redeemer, Machu Picchu, me. Sounds about right."

"You slot right in."

"Lucky for your dad that I do. Euphemia's not afraid to voice an opinion."

"Well, he hired me back as soon as I asked," James continues, a slight smile forming around the corners of his lips, "so Mum can rest assured, nepotism is still alive and well."

Instantly, strangely, disconcertingly, Lily thinks that she would like to have sex with this person.

Preferably on her new mattress. Her current one has a spring sticking out in an inconvenient location.

The photos that Fleamont keeps on his desk are woefully out-of-date, so while Lily had the vague idea that she'd be welcoming a rather handsome fellow onto her team, her only frame of reference was an awkward, gangling teenager. The real life, adult James Potter is tall and lean and healthy-glow brown, with thick black hair that performs wild, multi-directional acrobatics and cries out to be tugged in the heat of passion. His glasses are on trend, his full lips delicious, and his crisp white sleeves are pushed up to his elbows.

Women are forced to conform to so many bullshit, patriarchal dress codes in the workplace, but nobody ever thinks about the risks of forearm exposure on a really fit bloke.

Not that it matters, when she's splashed ketchup across her face and almost certainly marked herself out as an undesirable.

More importantly, she's technically his boss.

And he's likely secretly wishing that she wasn't.

Or planning a hostile takeover.

Or both.

He probably looks real good without a shirt on.

She'll be screwed if he turns out to be interesting.

[elliemarchetti]

A Rebel’s Song (part 2)

I'm incredibly inspired by the character of Clara Farley, so here's the second chapter of the story with the strangest premises I've ever written. As always when it comes to Red Queen I have to thank the wonderful @evangelineartemiasamos first of all for giving me the inspiration to start this story and secondly for the sweet comments on the previous chapter.

Here you can find chapter one and the link to all my other Red Queen works

Words: 1571

She arrived only with her jacket, cursing the cold of the Lakelands and the scarcity of money, which had prevented her from buying an adequate coat for those temperatures. At home, in the city, she had had one, but she certainly wouldn’t have returned for such a futile reason, and besides she wasn’t even sure her mother kept it. As usual, she identified herself, guaranteeing access to the back room, a small space made even more oppressive by the metal shelves that reached the ceiling, filled with jars with colored contents. Indeed, it wasn't the walls that hid their secrets, but the floor, covered by a heavy and dusty carpet under which a trap door was located, visible only to those who knew where to look. Now accustomed to that action, she meticulously knocked at the established points and within ten seconds was swallowed by the buzz of the subsoil. It was a familiar sound, which over time she had learned to appreciate and made her feel safe at home, if home was really a concept that could be applied to someone like her. She headed determinedly, without needing instructions, to the office where she was sure she would find her superior, and was surprised to find that she had been the last of the corporals to arrive. The other four were all much older than her and only one was a woman, a middle-aged woman more hairy than a man. Although her appearance could be disgusting, in the eyes of most, she hid a good heart and a brilliant mind, which made her her favorite colleague. She didn't know her name, or where it came from or what her story was, but she knew she had entered the Scarlet Guard only a few years before her, which gave rise to her theory that she had lost her husband and children because of the war. The meeting was brief, the assignments explanations even more: after all, each of them had a team of five soldiers they knew well and on which they could blindly rely. Everyone except her. Glass, a middle-aged man with a glass eye but a deadly aim, hence the nickname, had been discovered during a patrol and publicly executed for possession of an illegal weapon.

"The new recruit" the sergeant concluded, before handing a gun to each of them "will be inserted into team five for immediate effect. Corporal Swift, you’ll be contacted in the coming days for further information."

Clara was speechless. Certainly she didn’t expect that the training of a new recruit would be entrusted to her, who was so young and sometimes even considered inexperienced. She waited for the other corporals to come out, undecided about what to do, about to point out to the sergeant that it was unwise to enter someone who hadn’t the slightest idea how to act in a delicate mission like that, but in the end she followed Corporal Fiddler and closed the door behind her.

"Pathetic," a female voice commented behind her.

Val had a bad habit of sharing her opinion most of the time and expressing it out loud even when it would have been more appropriate to remain silent. She was one of her team members, a soldier able to disguise herself and get into any situation, a real resource for the success of their missions, especially when it came to having to infiltrate in densely populated and Silvers-controlled places. She had a vaguely intimidating air, which had convinced Clara from the first time they met that once she had her promotion she would be in charge of taking her place, and long brown shiny hair she always wore gathered in a low bun on her nape that Clara envied her very much, as her parents were thin, dry and lifeless like those of all the originals of the Lakelands. She had worked for a few years as a waitress, but her exotic beauty, caused mainly by her tanned skin and her amber eyes, had caught the attention of too many Silvers husbands and sons to allow her to continue, so the landlady of the last house where she had served had tried to disfigure her with acid. She had failed, but Val had killed the woman during the fight which followed the aggression, so she had been forced to flee from Saelis, the capital of the Prairie, and hid wherever she can, if she didn't want to be publicly executed.

"I can only agree," Clara replied, starting in the opposite direction from that of the other corporals, who all hurried back to their homes, from their families. It was obvious that Val had eavesdropped on the entire meeting and had expected nothing less from her right-hand: she didn't want to have to deal with someone to whom she had to explain everything, and the fact that she took that kind of initiative only shoed that she was willing to help her to the best of her ability, especially by reducing time losses.

"We could ask him to write down the radio intercepts, so he won't be on the field all the time, although, as long as he's not as awake as me, I don't think he'll be able to memorize all the codes in time." the girl ventured, as they headed for the refectory. The Guard didn’t offer large meals, nothing to do with the leftovers that her mother was able to steal when she worked as a cook at a restaurant for Silvers, but they were hot and free, which wasn’t to be underestimated, given her current economic situation.

"I met him," she explained, though, and she couldn't explain why, she didn't like talking about it. "It is obvious that he’s not stupid, indeed, I am convinced that he has a sharp mind."

"But from this to ask him the impossible ..." Val insisted, leaving the sentence pending.

"I don't know, I think he could do it. After all, he is on leave, so I don't think he has a job at home that can take a lot of his time away, though I don't like the idea of knowing some of our most valuable information in the hands of a newbie. "

"And for you? Still nothing upstairs?" asked Val once they had sat down. For herself she had taken a large stale sandwich filled with a skimpy heap of minced meat covered with a thin veil of cheese of a yellow too intense to have been produced with real milk, while Clara filled the plate of tomato soup in which floated some small pieces of bacon.

She shook her head in response, chewing on the rubbery meat. It wasn’t easy to find a stable job, and although the urge to do so was ever stronger, she couldn’t do miracles yet. Fifteen days was the time she had left, two weeks to find something, anything that prevented the Silvers officers from breaking through the door of her modest dwelling to throw a uniform on her and toss her in the trenches to die with all the other slackers. They didn’t realize, from their luxurious mansions, that there weren’t enough jobs for all the Reds, that there weren’t enough resources because they devoured them, in their cities full of waste, fomenting the degradation that so disgusted them. They didn't realize that what they called waste could’ve been a livelihood for a family of Reds for weeks, if not months. Every time she saw clothes that the Reds seamstresses had sewn with love and passion, sometimes remaining whole nights awake to the point of not being able to see anything but the needle that penetrated the fabric, thrown into black sacks like rags now unusable, that ended in incinerators, the blood boiled in her veins, because in the streets it was full of children dressed only in scraps sewn together as best their mothers could, and many weren’t hired in those few available places that required close contact with the Silvers because they were too similar to tramps.

"I know what you're thinking," Val said, laying a hand on her arm. Clara suddenly jumped because of the physical contact, but Val didn’t withdraw and was grateful to her: although she was one of her subordinates, she was first of all a friend of hers, and she had discovered, thanks to the Guard, that sometimes family isn’t blood but the people who choose to bind themselves and remain close to us even when things go wrong and everything looks black and every obstacle insurmountable.

"I know it's not fair, but we're here for that, aren't we? We're working on it, and we'll be able to change things, I'm sure. How could it be differently, when they put two stubborn people like us to work together?”

A sad and nervous giggle, but at the same time full of gratitude and admiration for Val's optimism, escaped her lips. If she weren't a good spy, they'd still have to keep her for her motivational speeches.

"But we have to focus on the little things, one step at a time, as you told me when I arrived."

Clara remembered that day, that precise moment, which had certainly changed her life and her way of seeing things for the better.

"You're right. For now let's take care of assigning a task to the new recruit, we'll take care of the rest later.”

[moonstruckbucky]

All My Stars [1] | b. barnes

SUMMARY: Bucky knew the minute he hired his new assistant, he was screwed. When she got engaged, he was double-screwed.

PAIRING: CEO!Bucky x fem!reader

WARNINGS: None

NOTES: Consider me a fan of the CEO!Bucky trope. I had this bopping around in my head for a bit and decided to get it going before my scatterbrained self forgot it all. Enjoy! xx

ALL MY STARS MASTERLIST

Part One

Bucky was running late. Again. He knew it by the sunlight streaming through his window and also by the shrill ringing of his goddamn phone. The body beside him stirred and groaned, shifting under the sheets as the phone echoed in the expansive bedroom. Bucky groaned, reaching out blindly for his phone, which he answered with a grumble.

“Did you forget?” the British voice on the other line teased. Running a hand over his face, Bucky sighed into the receiver while the brunette beside him cuddled further into his sheets.

“Forget what?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Peggy sighed, though she was smirking on the other end. “My replacement starts today, and we’re about fifteen minutes late. I’m downstairs.”

“Shit,” he groaned, head flopping back onto the mattress. “All right, I’ll be down in five.”

“Do I need to take out the trash?” Peggy asked then, and Bucky snorted, opting to reply by hitting ‘End Call’.

“Sorry, dollface,” he then addressed the brunette beside him. Her hair was mussed and makeup smeared. “I need to go and you unfortunately can't stay. There’ll be a car waiting downstairs for you.”

Like he told Peggy, he was downstairs, dressed and hair perfectly coiffed, in five minutes. He was tying his tie when he stepped out into the New York sunshine, a slight breeze on the air signifying that autumn was coming. The British brunette was standing outside the sleek black car, sunglasses on and signature red lipstick stark against her pale complexion.

She tilted her sunglasses down her nose. “Well, it could be worse, all things considered.”

“Thanks, Peg. Good morning to you, too.” Wordlessly he accepted the coffee she handed off to him and slid into the backseat beside him. “Tell me again why I needed to replace you?”

“Because I can’t be your doormat forever,” she snarked back, smirking. “Steve’s accepting that new position at Fury Enterprises.”

“Ah yes, Steve’s becoming a partner. Punk. But why am I losing you again?”

“You’ll be fine, Bucky. This new girl is going to be another me, just you wait.”

Bucky scoffed. “Unlikely.”

The drive to the office was spent with Peggy telling Bucky all about her new replacement. Her name, her former job, what Peggy liked the most about her. She sounded a lot like Peggy, and if she paid attention to Peggy’s training, it would be smooth sailing.

Meanwhile, across town, you sat in the reception area of the office building, tapping your heel against the carpeted floor. Never had you known a boss to be this late, and it made you wonder just what kind of person James Barnes was. You’d done your research on the company after Peggy had contacted you about your resume, wanting to learn everything there was to know about Shield Architects, Inc.

“Miss L/N,” Peggy’s chipper voice echoed through the reception area, “I am so sorry we’re late. This is Mr. Barnes, the CEO of Shield.”

You stood up from the chair, straightening your blouse, and reaching out to shake Mr. Barnes’s hand. Your eyes trailed up, breath hitching when you took in the fact that your boss was a goddamn looker. Bright blue eyes smiled down at you, and his sharply-chiseled face was framed by dark brown hair.

“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Barnes,” you exclaimed with a nervous smile.

“Please, call me Bucky,” he said, grinning a heart-stopping smile, “and the pleasure is all mine. Please forgive me for my rudeness in being late. I....lost track of the days.”

You missed the snide side-eye that Peggy sent him.

“Well, hopefully I can help you with that.” Bucky looked momentarily surprised by your sudden burst of confidence, but then he smiled again and held a hand out towards the elevator.

You walked between him and Peggy as the latter handed you a planner. Skimming through it, you tried to not get overwhelmed as you took in Bucky’s overflowing schedule. Peggy went through explaining the next month’s activities, the most important meetings and conferences. In the elevator, she handed you a file of Shield’s current projects–blueprints, budgets, zoning permits. Each one was color-coded, and you admired Peggy for that.

Bucky, standing on your left, watched you as you absorbed every piece of information Peggy threw at you like a sponge. He knew the job as his assistant was harrowing and stressful at times, but with the way you countered Peggy’s tips and training with questions of your own, Bucky didn’t think you’d have a problem keeping up with him and his busy lifestyle.

“Mr. Barnes prefers his coffee black with two sugars only,” he heard Peggy announce. “You’re to have one ready every morning.”

Bucky opened his mouth, feeling as if Peggy was painting him as some kind of pompous spoiled douchebag, but you were nodding rapidly along, jotting it down in the planner before Peggy launched into something else. He simply stood quietly, knowing he’d never get a word in between Peggy’s directions, until the elevator came to a stop at the top floor and let the three of you off.

You were enamored with the office. Open concept, floor-to-ceiling windows around the entire room, brightening it up considerably. Bucky’s office was offset to the left, the oak door closed with his name engraved on a plaque. Your new desk was a half circle and organized neatly, sitting in the middle of the room.

Bucky stepped over to his office and unlocked the door while Peggy showed you your new desk. She walked you through some of the programs she frequently used on the computer, which, unsurprisingly, was a top of the line Mac. You’d grown up on PCs, but you could figure it out you were sure.

Peggy spent the rest of the morning showing you the ropes and then at noon, you broke for lunch. The building had a cafe on the bottom floor that she took you to, and you bought a wrap while she settled for a salad. She picked a table and you both sat down to eat.

“So, be honest with me,” Peggy began over her salad, “are you overwhelmed?”

You chewed slowly, mulling over your answer. Setting down your wrap, you wiped your hands on a napkin.

“It’s a lot, I’m human enough to admit that.” She nodded in a silent request for you to continue. “But organizing and micromanaging is my specialty, so I don’t think there’s much that scares me.”

“Then I think you’ll be fine,” Peggy replied with a confident beam of her red lips. “Bucky is a great man to work for. He likes his business organized and his workers on top of things, like all of them do, but he’s lenient with pretty much everything else. Except tardiness, so if you’re going to be late you’d better be letting him know a day in advance.”

You nodded in understanding, crumpling the plastic wrap to throw in the trash once your lunch was over. Peggy excused herself from the table and walked over to the counter. She paid for a to-go box and then walked back over to you.

“For Bucky. Sometimes he forgets to eat, so always prepare to pick up something for him. He likes the buffalo chicken wrap. Let’s go.”

When 5:30 rolled around, your mind was sufficiently worn. Peggy had drilled so much information into you that you were sure you could recite Shield’s mission statement forwards, backwards, and in Greek. As you shut down your station, Peggy kindly waited for you. Glancing up, your eyes caught Bucky in his office; his door was open, the lights still on as he bent over his laptop and an open manila folder.

“He often stays late,” Peggy mentioned, catching your glance. “Poor chap’s going to work himself to death one of these days.”

Frowning, you looked over at him again. Before you could rethink it, you called, “Goodnight, Mr. Barnes.”

He didn’t seem to hear you, didn’t even look up from his work, but you didn't take it personally. Peggy offered you a tight-lipped smile as you walked towards the elevator. On the ground floor, Peggy stopped you with a hand on your arm.

“Call me after your first official day tomorrow. We’ll go out for a celebratory dinner. Oh, and don’t forget Mr. Barnes’s coffee tomorrow, black—”

“Two sugars, got it.” You smirked and she did too. “Thank you, Peggy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“You will. And, if you ever need help, just call me. Don’t want you feeling all alone up there.”

“Thank you, Peggy. Get home safe.”

Once back at your apartment, you kicked off your heels in the doorway and padded into the kitchen to make yourself some tea. You’d brought Shield’s project file and Peggy’s donated planner home with you to get ahead of the game in terms of meetings, conferences, and board meetings. Over your mug of tea, you also went over the calendar to see if there were any corporate events planned in the future to extend Shield’s networking reach.

There weren’t. So your mind got to work in formulating an event that would not only benefit the company but the public as well. Your previous job had been in Human Relations, and you were very good at organizing and planning events such as auctions, workshops, and galas. You’d present your ideas to Bucky sometime next week after you had a chance to get completely settled.

Bucky Barnes Tag List: @moirasimagines @mooniightbucky

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[peppusae]

[kth] sorry, honey

sorry, honey; kim taehyung x oc [+ a surprise!]

genre; angst, slice of life, angst, and character development (?)

word count; 31009 words

note; hello it’s een again with another angst yay!! this is written in first person’s pov because i wanted to take a break from writing second pov??? this follows bts’s timeline so it’s a canon au and there’s a surprise waiting ahead ehehehe. t

please keep in mind tho that even though it’s classfied as a taehyung x oc, taehyung only appears for about 10-15% of the fic, because the rest of the fic is pure and sole angst eheheeeeee. i posted this originally on december 22nd last year as a birthday present to myself because i love angst and today marks the day i finally completed it, so... enjoy another one of een’s angsts! >ww<

💫

❝sorry, honey,

mommy’s always been a sinner.❞

trigger warning !! :  this book contains controversial issues, mild inhumane behaviour, profanity, dark themes, and just a lot of angst. i don't recommend you to read this tbh...

sorry, honey

arc 01

1

He found out first; not in so many words, but he did.

He hasn't known me for long, but he loves me enough to know when the tears in my eyes are not just a byproduct of stress.

The clinic lights go off, there's the ringing of the final bells of the day, the honking of the vehicles, and the sounds of little kids talking a little too loudly.

It makes me shudder.

He's dressed in a pale grey checkered shirt, roughly three sizes too large for him, and sweatpants so loose that his skinny frame is far from being apparent even the slightest bit. He's just walking on the road by himself, a jam-packed road filled with people rushing around at 10pm, and he's so stupid, an idiot, for sure.

I sure do love idiots.

He doesn't question it; he's too busy beaming, long fingers wrapped around my wrist as he calls my name again. It echoes in my head while I watch the glittering shine in his dark irises, free from contact lenses.

And his hand is so warm wrapped around mine, his smile even more welcoming, and I'm crying, tears streaming down my cheek and it's the day I find out that tears of hurt feels just as cold as the reason of that hurt feels like.

He was always a blessing for me, but today, Kim Taehyung's smile is not just a curse; but a calamity.

>

Taehyung is warm, gentle, full of childish curiosity. He's filled with the soothing feeling like hot cocoa feels on a cold day, the way shorts provide comfort on a blazing summer afternoon. He's bubbly and merry, and this was one day where I wished he wasn't.

He doesn't question it.

He talks about his day between milkshake-stained lips and cheeks puffed up with marshmallows, and he only pauses when he realises that the sandwich he'd ordered for me remain untouched even after he's done with his two servings of extra fries.

"What's wrong?"

There was a point where he'd ask me that, I knew, and I had been waiting.

"I want to go home."

Taehyung blinks. Once. Thrice. Ten times, before he nods, hair fluffing up and down as he does so. He offers to take my untouched food to the counter to get packed for take-out, and he's linking his arm with mine as he announces that he'll walk me home.

There are fewer people on the street now, more people seated outside the convenience stores, eating ramyeon... And Taehyung's presence today out of all other days make more tears form.

He doesn't question it.

The apartment is in a good neighbourhood. The building is filled with students who enjoy staying up till ungodly hours, simply to read. To read research papers, scientific journals, and essays by philosophers.

A studious neighbourhood.

It's eerily quiet. The sound of crickets chirping make my stomach feel like it might hurl any second, and Taehyung still has a smile on. He's seen my tears but gives a blind eye because he knows me enough to knows I'd hate being queried at a time like this.

And it's endearing, the way he waits to follow me inside when I reach for my keys... But his smile fades when I put the keys back into my pocket, and then look up at him.

And then.

He finally questions it.

When he hears me say words I wasn't even halfway sure I meant, in the first place.

"Taehyung-ah, we need to break up."

His face remains unfazed for moments that feel like they're ticking in slow motion; or maybe he really did take his time with a response, because a crooked smile forms as he laughs nervously.

"Haha... You need to stop joking; there's a limit to pranking."

And that feels like a pain that gets deeper and deeper, like how it feels when you accidentally stub your toe on a foot of a large desk.

There was the chance to deny and go with his words, but it is entirely because I loved him with every fibre of my being, that I force myself to shake my head.

"I'm not joking." It comes out as a whisper, voice barely audible but he hears. He hears, because...

I'm his world, after all.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry, Taehyung-ah."

And it felt like my heart was glass that wasn't a victim of being broken into a billion pieces; but glass that keeps on getting tiny crack after crack, the pain continuing constantly, always leaving me with something to feel melancholy over.

And there's the way his eyes darken, clouding a little when it begins to shine; not because he's seen something so beautiful, but because there's tears threatening to fall which he tried to hold because he's a man, and Taehyung's a man who had ego, after all.

"Why?" He questions again.

"Don't make this harder." My voice comes out hoarse, stuttering even though there's such a small exchange of words, and yet I feel like choking, crying at the corner while he wraps himself around me.

He.

Continues.

To.

Question.

It.

And then, he says my name. His voice comes out as a whisper, a low baritone filled with a force large enough to constrict my heart and make fresher tears stream down my face.

"Ahn Chaeyeon-ah, I can't leave you if you don't give me a valid reason, and you know that."

And it's painful, the way his lips move to say my name, pausing at every syllable, and I have to avert my gaze and take in a lungful of air to control the sobs that are threatening to choke out.

"Goodbye, Taehyung-ah, I'm so sorry."

He's always been respectful, never forcing himself on me, letting everything fall to place on its own, naturally. And yet, today, there's a foot that blocks my feeble attempt in closing the door, hands pressing onto the doorpost while his panic turns into a glare.

"No."

"Taehyung-ah, Taehyung-ah, stop it..."

"There has to be a reason, you wouldn't leave just like that... I know you..."

I've never been good at lying, anyways.

"Don't touch me." I say, no longer pressing against the door. Making my way inside and going into my room, I realise then, that Taehyung feels stupid for having waited until I lock myself in my room.

"Chaeyeon-ah... Open this door."

"I'm so sorry, Taehyungie."

I love you, I want to say. But the way his nickname slips out so effortlessly makes me tear up again, and there's a lot of knocking and text messages and calls which I force myself to ignore.

He questions it.

He doesn't want to give up.

But he's left with no choice, because two hours with no reply makes his figure slump out from my apartment, hand rubbing on his face and pulling out a face mask he never bothered with until then.

And it pains me to see him walk away, his feet dragging across the pavement, and that's when I start to question myself.

It is because I love Taehyung, that I have to do this.

2

Kang Chaerin sits, tapping her desk, and there's visible annoyance in her dark eyes, ones that go wide as soon as I step foot inside the office headquarters.

"Chaeyeon-ah! Why did you turn your phone off last night, I was so worried ab- Oh." She pauses, eyes widening when I place my files inside my cubicle and turn to glance at her.

"Hi, Rin-ah," I greet, and my best friend follows me to the coffeemaker, her eyes glued to my face while I take a packet of creamer from the small desk drawer.

The coffee feels as bitter as my heart feels, and it makes me smile a little, knowing I wasn't the worst case out there. Rin continues blinking and follows me when I put my coffee on the cup holder and place it on my desk.

"Did you talk to Taetae yet?" She asks, her voice a little small all of a sudden.

It's horrible. It's horrible, the way my heart swells when I hear his name, and I wonder how I would get past the rest of my life, if I get so affected by something as simple as his name.

"We broke up," I say tentatively, taking another sip of my coffee and glancing at the to-do list. I internally thank Mr. Han for the light schedule today, ignoring the low gasp that escapes from between her lips. It takes every ounce of energy that I have to look back at her eyes, and I can see panic bubbling in her eyes...

She was just like Taehyung. It hurts.

"But... Chae-ah, you told me... At the clinic... Then why? Did he dump you? That jerk, I'll kill him-"

"No!" My voice is defensive, high pitched, and loud enough for the employees present to turn their heads towards us. Embarrassment makes me duck my head while I pretend to sip my coffee, but Rin does not hear the end of my argument.

"Then why? Why did you break up? Don't tell me you guys are taking a break until you-"

"Kang Chaerin-ah, I broke up with Taehyung because I will never, ever ruin his career this way."

There's silence that follows, and Rin continues to blink in utter shock at my face, and I see that there's a little barrette on the left side of her short hair, one that matched her white blouse and brown pencil skirt; courtesy of the Han Corporation's dress code. She stays silent for so long that I feel as if her words are over for the day, and I proceed to pile the files according to priority when she mumbles my name.

"But, what about...Chaeyeon-ah, you can't just keep him in the dark about this. He has the right to know, if anything. It's up to him whether he wants to go on with the relationship, and I know he loves you enough to-"

"And that's exactly why I can't do this, Rin-ah. Please understand me. I know he won't leave me. But these are two lives - one if I can get rid of it in my next appointment - and I'm not going to ruin his life along with the rest of Bangtan's, and crush all of their fans' respect, like this."

Rin's face softens, and it's painful to see the way more tears form in her eyes while she nods and takes a step back.

"We're going to talk more about this later, Chae-ah. This is serious."

Mr. Han steps into the office right when Rin settles down at her desk, and I greet my boss with a smile which I was sure he could tell was forced and very much fake. If he noticed, he doesn't say anything, instead simply nodding and walking past my best friend who doesn't lift her head up.

I know it's serious, Rin, and that's exactly why I can't do this...

>

I've never been good at confrontations.

Park Jimin knew this about me well enough and yet he stands, blond hair covered with a big beanie and sunglasses that cover a huge fraction of his face. But I can tell it's him, it's his frame, his lips, and the way his lips turn upwards a little as a greeting.

And just as fast as the smile appears on his face, it's gone.

"Chaeyeon-ah, what happened with Taetae?" He asks, almost blank with no emotion.

I feel my stomach churning a little. I wasn't sure if the myths I had heard while growing up was true, but all I felt like at that moment was throwing up all the contents of my lunch; a lone turkey sandwich.

I felt pathetic ordering it, my head flooding with the thought of the male my heart pines for, and yet I ate it...and now, the same thing was threatening to ruin me, and I felt like crying when I see the visible confusion on Jimin's face.

"Taehyung did nothing wrong, Jimin-ah... It's my fault, we broke up," I try to explain. Jimin simply stares at me, there's a knowing look on his face while he glances at the buttons of the unbuttoned coat I have on. It was freezing outside, and I knew well enough that I looked suspicious for that but I felt like I was burning.

Was this another of those symptoms? I wonder, and Jimin takes his glasses off, points to a coffee shop a couple blocks away.

"Let's get something to eat and talk."

"No."

Jimin looks from the shop, back at my face, and there's even more confusion on his face now, eyebrows furrowing slightly; just like Taehyung had done last night. I feel like crying.

"Chaeyeon-ah... What's wrong? I know you wouldn't do this if something isn't wrong, I trust you like I trust Tae-"

"If you trust me, keep on with that trust and believe me when I say it's my fault... I'm so sorry, Jimin-ah, but I really have to go home. Taehyung and I have broken up, so I don't think we need to meet anymore. I will continue to support you guys either way."

If there was one word to describe Jimin's expression, it would be hurt.

The corner of his eyes begins to well up with tears, and I look down at my shoes when he presses a finger to his eyes to avoid the tears from streaming down his cheeks.

"I thought we were friends, Chaeyeon-ah... What's happening to you?"

"I'm so sorry, Jiminie."

It's hard to walk away when you feel like you may throw up any second, and it takes all my willpower to say goodbye to my dear friend; possibly for the final time ever.

"Chaeyeon-ah?" Jimin's voice makes me stop after I've taken a couple steps away, and his voice is faint, barely audible, "I hope one day, I'll see you like this on the streets, and you'd tell me what bothers you."

Jimin has always been selfless, that I knew, but I didn't learn the extent of those feelings he had, until today. And so I have to walk with faster strides because I start crying in the middle of the road, mind reeling and craving Taehyung's touch which I will never, ever be able to get.

3

The clinic walls are beige.

A lonely beige.

There's chartreuse writings in cursive, small, supportive messages to brighten the day of the hundreds of people who step inside.

But while I look at the 'Today may not be your day, but it might be tomorrow!' sign near the doctor's door, I feel my legs sting a little. The hallway is filled with the scent of disinfectant, one that makes me feel as if I might throw up any second now.

There aren't people here at ungodly hours of the night. Only sinners crawl out of their places of hiding and go out, desperate, on hours like this. There's a clock in front of me that ticks noisily with every passing second and it's the only noise that echoes in the hallway, irritating nonetheless.

The door is cream in color. There's a happy-face magnet attached to the front, right underneath the room number, and the way that expression contrasts with mine is why I try my hardest to blink back tears when the said door cracks open a little.

A short nurse steps outside, her little hat clipped onto the tap of her shoulder-length chocolate hair. She calls my name, and I exhale as much air as humanly possible before getting up and stepping inside. My doctor is a woman in her late twenties, her pale orange-tinted lips curved up into a big smile when she remembers me from a couple days ago.

"Chaeyeon-ah!" She greets, taking a glance at the form in front of her. "How's your pregnancy coming along?"

If I hadn't felt the weight of what was coming to fall on me before, I felt it right then. And I am close to tears again, but my ego would never let me cry in front of someone who had given me the kind of news I never, ever wanted to receive.

There's silence when I refuse to answer, and Dr. Juhye's smile softens a little before there's a sparkle in her eyes.

"Would you like to see your baby, Chaeyeon-ah? You're close to three months, so I can arrange for-"

"Dr. Juhye-ah, I would like to ask for an abortion."

The nurse inside had been holding a file in her clutches, but it falls down, papers flying around all over the floor. Dr. Juhye' s lips part open in utter shock, and I knew well enough that I had chosen a public clinic due to my lack of funds... So a response like that was to be expected.

"I just... I can't raise a kid yet. I'm 21, my boyfriend and I... parted ways recently. I can't possibly fund for-"

"We don't carry out abortions here, Chaeyeon-ah. We value the life that is now your responsibility... Maybe you can fill out the lone-parents forms from the president's office to seek financial aid, but...Please don't bring up something cruel like that....that's no different that killing a human being."

>

The bottles of soju sit on the wooden table, the cool perspiration dripping and forming a little puddle underneath them. They're waiting to be drunk from, and there's a horrifying pain in my head, one that begs to be knocked away. My phone continues lighting up with every text message I receive, and it's laughable, how good I am at avoiding every method of contact.

The year-long contract I had with Han Corporation expired a couple days ago, and I have four bottles of soju standing tall in front of me to celebrate the fact that I was a jobless college student.

One who had the responsibility of raising a child, not able to go home, and no friends that lived anywhere nearby.

The fact that the new semester starts on the following week makes me laugh at myself, taking the cap off from a bottle and taking a long sip. The liquid burns my throat, eyes shutting while trying to ease the discomfort, and I don't know which is more painful, the fact that my head feels not a single bit number than before, or the fact that the tears streaming down my cheeks sting more.

And yet it does, and more soju finds its way inside my system, and I wasn't sure how many bottles I had finished off before my head begins to throb so much that I have to lie down.

Whether it was an unconscious act or not, I wasn't sure, but when my hands rest on my abdomen, I find myself clutching a handful of my shirt between gritted teeth.

And in between hiccups and losing my consciousness, I give my first greeting to my 'unborn baby', as Dr. Juhye refers it to.

"I hate you."

>

"Hi Mom, I miss you too." My voice sounds like a lie, even to my own self. I can see my reflection from the mirror, and my hair's a mess, brown strands sticking up in mortifying manners thanks to all the days I hadn't bothered to get out of bed. The stack of instant ramen near the bedside table looks pitiful, unable to fulfil my hunger.

"If you miss me, you better come visit in your mid-term break," She says, voice full of familiar banter. At that moment, I crave nothing more than to wrap my arms around my mom and tell her about all that bothers me. And yet, I can't be a disappointment to her, not when she raised me into a good person.

"I can't, mom. Last year of college, coursework, you know the drill." It's a little sad, how easily the lies come out like that, I hated myself for the kind of person I was becoming; Jimin was right in wondering what was happening to me, and I hated how I had nothing to blame...

Except for myself.

"Well, whether you show up here for your holidays or not, your dad and I are going to fly out to Seoul for your graduation."

Nervous laughter fills the conversation from my side, and I feel like I am on my toes, waiting to come crashing down anytime soon. And yet, my mom speaks with such excitement in her voice that it begins to get harder and harder for me to keep lying to someone I love so much.

"Yeah Mom... I have an essay to write, so I'll hang up now."

"Good night, sweetie. Always be yourself, and take care."

The line dies with her words, and I put my smartphone away, head reeling at how hard what she said hits me.

Mom, who am I anymore?

My stomach rumbling and a sudden knock on the door come in unison, making me snap back up onto a sitting position. My shoulders ache a little while I get on my feet, desperate to get rid of the deafening noise.

Upon opening the door, I am greeted by a middle-aged woman with her brown hair tied to the back in a loose ponytail. It's a face I had been dreading to see, so when I see the cane in her hands, I realize that I am doomed.

"Honestly, I've been a little worried about you because you've looked sick as fuck the past couple weeks, but there's a limit to this, Chaeyeon-ah. Get your things and leave." She hisses, and I blink at her with wide eyes. As if on cue, familiar, slow music fills the room, courtesy of shuffle on my bluetooth speaker, and I can feel tears burning the corners of my eyes when I turn to glance at my room.

And even though it hurts my ego to admit it, my apartment looked like a mess, and if I was a landlord myself, I wouldn't want to give the place out to someone like me, either.

"You haven't paid the rent in three months."

"I'll pay next month, I sw-"

My sentence breaks when the woman lifts up her cane and slams it against the doorpost with what looks like every ounce of energy she had in her body.

"You said the same thing last month, get out before I hit you next."

The sound of the cane coming in contact with the weak wood echoes in my head while I take a step back, realising that there really wasn't anything I could do anymore. The woman takes a seat on the couch while she watches me take out my suitcase, taking my clothes out from the closet and piling my belongings inside. It felt a little more hurtful than the look

Jimin had given me, and the fact that she continues looking makes me have to force myself not to cry while I lock the suitcase and turn to face her.

And it hurts my heart, the fact that a place I'd grown so fond of in the past four or so years, a place I'd made so many memories with Taehyung at, had to be left like that, and the woman doesn't even ask me to clean up the bottles of drinks and ramyeon cups I had left... As if getting me out of there as soon as she could was much better, as if she hated the very sight of me...

That was the day I learned that February nights are just as cold and lonely as wintry December evenings.

4

The first thing I see is a big smile.

It's kind of sad. It's kind of sad, when your sister stands in front of you, smiling when she sees you... And all you can do is to wrap your arm around her and start crying.

"Ch-Chaeyeon-ah? Hey... Chaeyeon-ah, what's wrong?" Panic is obvious in her voice, and she pulls me inside, and I find myself crying even harder at how warm the air in her apartment is, it felt like home.

Ahn Chaeyoung offers me a napkin and goes to prepare some coffee for me while I calm down. There are posters all over her room, the slight aroma of lavender combined with the smell of coffee beans gives me the strength to breathe properly, and watch my sister appear with two mugs in hand. Chaeyoung is careful about placing them carefully on the coffee table, and when she sees my suitcase and carry-on, she raises an eyebrow - a look that contrasts her soft features.

"Did you have to leave your apartment?"

"Yes." My voice comes a little muffled while I sip the drink, and when I look up, I see her tying up her blonde hair into a bun before she walks to the door and pulls my belongings inside.

"You can stay here. Did your contract with Han Corporation end?" She queries, blue eyes looking a little paler than I remember. She seems cautious, as if she knows that me having to leave my apartment is not reason enough for me to look so vulnerable.

"Yes."

"College starts next Monday... Is your coursework going well?"

"Nothing is wrong with college."

"Then... Taehyung?"

There wasn't anything I could hide from Chaeyoung. She may be two years older than me and currently attending graduate school and pursuing her dream of being a dietician, but... She's still the same person I played with in the sandbox, the first person I shared my secrets with, and that one person on Earth who could read me like an open book.

"I'm so sorry for being a disappointment, Chaeyoung-ah, but I can't raise a child..."

The sound of the radiator running is the only thing I hear, as I watch my sister's eyes turn even more dull, lips parting a little while she slowly sets her mug of coffee down on the table. I'm not sure if it's instinct, but she takes a cautious glance at my stomach, and I want to cry.

"Does... Where's Taehyung? Have you told him?"

"Taehyung isn't going to know. Don't tell Taehyung."

This seems to shock Chaeyoung even more than the fact that I was, in fact, pregnant in the first place. Her hand comes in contact with the coffee cup and it spills all over the table and the tiles, but she makes no motion of getting up to clean it.

"What? Why not? The baby is belongs to Taehyung as much as you-"

"But I don't want a baby that belongs to me!" I interrupt, my voice coming out higher pitched that I would have wanted it to. And even behind her black-rimmed glasses, I could see that her eyes fill up with tears when she realises what I might have done.

"So you... Broke up with Taehyung, left all your friends, stopped contacting me and mom because of this...? Chaeyeon-ah, you could have just called me..."

My sister's voice had never sounded so sad, ever, and I lose control of holding my tears in for any longer, and when she wraps her arms around me, I start to cry, and I think she did, too. I'm not too sure.

>

I am woken up by the continuous tapping on my face by my sister, and I feel my limbs ache when I sit up and glance at her.

"Chaeyeon-ah, I made you some sandwiches for breakfast, eat some okay? I'm going to the shower."

"Thank you."

"Your friend Rin kept calling you a lot. Your phone's out, by the charging socket near the couch in the living room. I didn't wake you up because I wanted to let you sleep as much as you could before classes." Her voice continues, about where I can find shampoo, towels, and how to turn on the radiator, up until she gets into the shower.

My head feels a lot better after I had rested enough and gotten away from all the alcohol in my system. Getting up on my feet, I walk out to the kitchen and take my phone. As Chaeyoung had mentioned, there were seven missed calls from my best friend, and I take a bite out of the tuna sandwich as I call her back.

"Chae-ah? I went to visit last night but your apartment is vacant now???" I am greeted with worry, and I sigh, glancing at the clock which reads ten past eight. There were two more hours before I would see Rin, and I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to wait till then to know what was going on.

"I couldn't pay the rent, so I got... kicked out."

"Oh... Chaeyeon-ah..." Her voice trails off for a bit, before she speaks again, louder this time. "I'm working at another place now and... We're looking for new employees, and I could give in a good name for you, if you want..."

"Honestly, Rin-ah, that would be such a big help... Chaeyoung is already having so much to deal what with grad school and paying the fees and the rent... It's the least I can do, if I stay here."

"I'm worried if it would affect your health, that's the only thing I'm worried about. I'm sure Chaeyoung understands..."

"Rin-ah."

"Yes?"

"I already told you. I don't care about my stupid baby, I just want it to leave me alone, it hurts, and I just... I know it's bad but that's all on my mind."

"Chaeyeon-ah.... You know how much Taehyung loves kids, right?"

And at that, my heart breaks, if not already; because I knew that well but having that said out was a reminder that I was a monster, even though I didn't want to be.

"He'll be so sad if you do something and get rid of the baby, Chaeyeon-ah, I just want you to think through-"

"He won't be sad if he doesn't know, Rin-ah. He's happy now, he's at his prime time, and Bangtan is getting more and more successful every passing day. How can I let him know about this and ruin his entire future?"

There is silence for a bit, and I wipe my face with my a sleeve before I take another bite out of my sandwich.

"...He loves you."

5

It takes me two months to start accepting what fate had for me.

Whenever I am changing, I still cringe when my gaze goes down to my abdomen. I start wearing loose clothes, coats even during warm sunny days, and when people question me, I don't respond.

I have nothing to say, this was Korea, after all...

The place where Rin and I work at is a coffee shop two blocks from Chaeyoung's apartment, and I feel a little better that I am able to contribute to paying for the rent and food.

Chaeyoung is barely home, spending most of the time at lab with her professors, always researching, and whenever she does come home, she looks defeated, too tired to do anything more than pat my head, get some coffee for herself, and sleep.

I was slowly starting to get used to Rin coming to the apartment with me after our shift, and she would make us food and keep me company while we did our homework.

Graduation was in a little over a month, and the two of us were occupied with our coursework... It was a way of me avoiding things until the last second, and it hurts a little when I have to ignore calls from my mom occasionally because I feel guilty of lying.

Two months did nothing to lessen the guilt after all...

"Chaeyeon-ah?"

The day was a warm April evening. Rin had an extra class so I was heading to work when I hear my name getting called out softly.

There were three people who I feared, would see me at my state.

My mom was one.

Taehyung was the other.

The third person stands in front of me, a bucket hat over his head, pale grey t-shirt and denim jeans enhancing his figure, and I freeze, because it's been so long...

It's been a long while, and yet, his voice is so warm, so much water has flown but he still sounds nice, and I feel my heart constrict a little while I watch Jimin pull down his face mask and show me a smile.

Don't smile at someone like me, Jimin-ah...

"Hello! It's been a while."

"Jimin-ah, why are you here?" I ask, trying to fight back tears. I hated crying in front of people, and Jimin was such an important person for me and that made being vulnerable in front of him feel even worse.

I have to turn around and start walking. Jimin doesn't repeat what he did the last time.

Instead, this time, he walks up beside me, face mask back on as he does.

"I waited for a while to give you time... I want to talk to you, Chaeyeon-ah. I'm worried about you and Tae-"

"Jiminie, why do you keep making this harder for me?" I ask, steps getting faster and my stomach throbs like crazy while Jimin increases his pace as well, to match mine.

"Because you're my friend, Chaeyeon-ah. Before anything else, you're my good friend... I've been busy so I couldn't drop by a little earlier, but I want you to tell me what's wrong."

It's one of the worst things in the world when someone you really care about is the reason why you have to cry, the reason why you have to hide your face from them, and cry a little more. And Jimin was stubborn like that, following me into the coffee shop and even taking a seat at one of the tables when I go behind the counter and try to ignore him.

And when I am forced to carry the drink he had ordered, for him, it baffles me that Jimin gives me a smile. How can someone be so sincere, to someone who was trying so hard to make him hate them?

And when I begin to walk away, Jimin takes hold of my coat - And I trust him enough to know that he didn't mean to do anything wrong - and only when he doesn't let go and continues to stare at my stomach do I realise why his eyes widen and lips part in utter shock.

"Ch....Chaeyeon-ah..."

"Jimin, let go!" I cry, earning a few glances from the rest of the customers around in the shop. My friend simply blinks, slipping down onto his seat, eyes not leaving me when I hurry back to the counter.

And my head continues to reel, because if Jimin left right then, he would tell Taehyung, and all the months I've suffered by myself would have gone to a waste.

When Rin comes in an hour later, Jimin is still sitting at the table, looking at everywhere, the ceiling, the frames around the shop, the food on the display...

Park Jimin wasn't going to leave.

>

"How long did you expect to hide this from Taehyungie, Chaeyeon-ah?" Jimin's voice is low, a little shaky, and he sinks his boots into the soil, swinging a little from where he sits beside me.

After I request a break, Jimin follows me and we walk to a park nearby, sitting on the swings in silence before he had finally spoken up.

"You haven't told him yet, right?" I ask cautiously, head reeling at just the thought of Taehyung reacting to the mess I created.

"I haven't, but he has to kn-"

"Jimin-ah, I'm actually begging you with my entire life on this. Please don't tell Taehyung."

The park is quiet - it's a little past six, it was dinner time around now - and I could hear the way Jimin's breathing starts accelerating a little. He has a defeated expression on his face, scrunched up, eyes small, lips pressed into a thin line, blinking continuously and I feel a little anxious and self-conscious when he furrows his eyebrow.

"I'm actually angry, Chaeyeon-ah. I don't get angry often, but I'm angry right now. That baby isn't only yours, it's Taehyungie's, too."

"Jimin-ah, what are your fans going to say? What will happen to Bangtan? You guys recently got nominated for a Billboard award... You guys are becoming famous worldwide... Do you want me to ruin it all for you?"

"...But Chaeyeon-ah..."

"There may be some fans that accept it, but... We're here in Korea... This is the kind of scandal that will ruin Taehyung's entire career in one go. He worked so hard for this, Jimin-ah.. How do I take that away from him when I was a fan who loved his voice, his acting, and everything that he was, way before we started dating and fell in love?"

"Chaeyeon-ah..."

"It's because I love him, that I have to do this, Jiminie... I can do it. Trust me. I've come this far, right? I mean..." I wasn't sure if I could tell him how much I hated what had happened, how much I loathed the baby, about how much alcohol and unhealthy food I eat, just to see if I could get rid of things...

It's sick, how inhumane I've become, but I didn't know what to blame, and...

"It's eating me alive, but I'm going to graduate soon so things will be better, Jimin-ah. Please trust me."

"You have to tell him."

"Jiminie, I just finished telling you why I can't tell him-"

"Maybe not now... I'd prefer you saying right now, but I know you enough to know you won't... And I want to respect you in that sense, but... I'm still against this. Chaeyeon-ah, you will have to tell him. Maybe a few years later, but you have to."

"Jimin-ah, for as long as Bangtan stays, I'm not telling him. And Bangtan's staying forever, and so is this secret."

"Four years, Chaeyeon-ah. I'm giving you four years. You need to agree that you will let Taehyungie know about this in four years, or I'm going to tell Taehyungie right now." Jimin threatens, taking his smartphone out. And when he taps on Taehyung's contact, I understand that he isn't joking.

"Jiminie..."

"On the fourth birthday of you and Taehyung's baby, please come see us. Taehyungie isn't going to be angry at you for what happened, you know... He'll just be angry for the fact that you didn't tell him you were suffering."

There's silence between the two of us while I wipe away the tears streaming down my face, and Jimin puts away his smartphone and gets up.

"I trust you, Chaeyeon-ah. I trust that you will call me, that you will let me fund for the baby's needs, at least until they turn four."

Jimin apologizes for having to leave, he looks like he's still in a daze, but he promises that he will keep this secret between us for now. And it's kind of painful that he trusts me so blindly, and I sit at the swing for a long time even after he leaves because now my heart hurts even more than my stomach does.

arc 02

1

If there was one thing I was thankful for, it was the literature course I was doing.

Most of my course at this point involved writing, so I was able to spend the last two months of college at home, writing at my own pace, and going to the toilet at abnormal hours.

And every time I had to stand up to go get some water or had to go to the washroom, I find myself cursing, spending money on too much alcohol, and skipping out on hospital appointments because I simply hated my 'baby'.

I hated using the word 'my'. I didn't want the baby, and my attitude was starting to scare Chaeyoung.

"Chaeyeon-ah... Please stop drinking that when you're pregnant..." Her voice trails off a little when she sees the small bottle of alcohol that rests in front of my textbook. I glance up from my desk where I am seated, and Chaeyoung's lips are pursed as she holds a bowl of fruit in her hands. "Eat this."

I watch silently while my sister takes the bottle away, and it takes every ounce of my willpower to not beg her to give the bottle back. I didn't want to disappoint her any more than I already have.

Graduation would be in a week, and the coursework I am due to submit in five hours is finished, and proof-read, as well. As I look at the paperback, I feel a sense of satisfaction combined with a dizzy feeling; despite having to go to the washroom every ten minutes, crying myself to sleep every night, and being numb enough to not feel my limbs, I managed to finish everything. I managed to get through, I managed to know in advance, that even if my coursework was not turned in, I would still pass with flying colours.

So, when Rin comes to our apartment an hour later to collect the paperback, I am able to give her a genuine smile.

At least college was going right, even if nothing else was.

>

The countdown to graduation was closing in. It would be in three days, and the excitement in the air is contagious. Rin is humming to herself while she prepares coffee for a customer when I receive a text notification from Park Jimin.

'I tried to convince Taetae not to, but he is insisting on going to your coffee shop. I thought I would let you know in advance, in case you're there.'

I read the text five times before looking at Rin with a panicked expression. Raising an eyebrow, my friend eyes me while I take my apron off.

"Chae?"

"Jimin says Taehyung is coming here, I have to go... Please tell Manager-nim that I took my break." I call, getting away from the counter. Before I can turn around, I head the tinkling sound of the bell ringing, signalling a new customer. And it makes my blood freeze and Rin's eyes go wide, while I close my eyes and get back behind the counter and crawl into a small ball away from the customer's view.

Rin recovers quickly, and I see her plastering on a big smile from beside me.

"Hello, what can I get for you, Jimin, Tae?"

There's an aching throb in my heart when I hear Taehyung's deep voice from behind the counter, recognizing my friend and asking how she is doing. I could feel my head reeling a mile a minute, my stomach and the soles of my feet aching from the crouched position that I had put myself in.

And then, Taehyung orders a vanilla bean latte and it breaks my heart because it's his favourite drink. I couldn't hide the fact that I missed him endlessly, and more tears form in my eyes while I have to cover my mouth to avoid sobbing loudly.

The voices disappear after a couple moments and Rin lets me know that the boys had gone to a table at the other end of the cafe. She asks me if I'd like to prepare Taehyung's drink, and I feel like crying while I get the ice and the milk ready.

Somewhere between taking the ground coffee jar and picking up the straws, my head begins to throb. And the next thing I know, there are two arms gripping on me from either side.

"Chae? Chae! Are you okay?"

"Chaeyon-ah? Can you hear me?" A masculine voice speaks, and I could feel the blur in my vision focusing on the familiar face of Jimin's, an arm around my neck while the other held onto my waist, just like Rin had, from the other side.

"What? What happened?"

"You almost dropped the ice pack, I think you didn't eat enough and got tired, maybe?" Rin says, helping me sit back comfortably while leaning against the sack of coffee beans behind the counter.

"I'm fine. Where's Taehyung?" I ask, and Jimin points to the othe end of the cafe.

"I came to bring the drinks, but I..." Jimin's voice trails off as he looks over to Rin, who grabs a bottle of chilled water and hands it to me. "You must be struggling so much, Chaeyeon-ah..."

"I'm fine." I say, thankful for the cool water. It feels refreshing, and Jimin helps me up on my feet. he doesn't look like he believes me, and there's a big frown on his face when Rin hands him the drinks.

"I respect you so much for being strong enough to go through this, Chaeyeon-ah. You have all my respect." He says, adding a bow before he takes the two cups and turns around.

You're wrong, Jimin... I don't deserve a single ounce of respect.

2  

My hands are shaking under the cool breeze of the air conditioning unit directly over my head. The auditorium is filled with students of the graduating year, almost all of them dressed in navy blue clothing. Despite knowing the fact that I had received the scholarship to go to Japan for my Master's degree, my legs feel like jelly. There were a lot of people, and the lights that shone on the stage were so bright, focusing completely on whoever stood there.

I feel thankful for Chaeyoung who helped pick out a loose dress with poofy white frills at the front. We had walked for hours and hours, and while I felt sad that I couldn't wear the kind of pretty dresses that complimented the figures of my colleagues, I still felt content. The fever that welcomed me two days ago refused to leave, despite my sister's frequent changing of the washcloth over my forehead.

I had met my mom outside, and when she had raised her hands up to give me a bone-crushing hug, Chaeyoung had asked her to avoid getting creases on my dress. Mom agreed without a word, wordlessly smiling and leaning to kiss me on the cheek instead. Her smile was so genuine, it hurt.

Rin sits beside me, her own hands shaking even though she tries to remain calm while she texts her boyfriend. The rotation went on batch by batch, based on majors, and as our graduating class' turn neared, my hands are sweating so much that I have to remove the gloves I have on.

"Chaerin-ah, I'm going to the bathroom, okay? I'll be back soon."

"Don't take long, we need to go backstage in like five minutes." She warns, and I nod, quietly making my way to the back of the auditorium and slipping outside. It's still a little cold, despite the summer heat, and I hurry to the washroom, trying to ignore the fact that it feels like someone is kicking my stomach repeatedly.

No... Anytime but now...

I begin to regret not attending the labour instructions lecture the clinic had called repeatedly and begged me to go to. When I see trails of blood streaming by my thighs and forming a little puddle on my feet, I want to cry.

No, no no...

Suddenly, it becomes impossible for me to stand, and I fall, knee first, and it horrifies me to see that my dress which I had adored so much was now starting to get damp.

No...

"Chaeyeon-ah, you're supposed to be backst- Chaeyeon-ah!?" I hear my sister's shrill screech when she steps inside and sees me on the floor, crying so hard that my eyes feel sore.

"Ch-Chae-young... Hospital!" I cry, and my sister stays frozen as she looks at the tiles of the bathroom, stained red from the impossible amount of bleeding that was happening. I wasn't sure how long it took for Chaeyoung to call an ambulance because my vision dies out in unison to my sense of hearing.

>

"You kept the fact that you were pregnant, a secret from me."

It is impossible for me to meet eyes with my mother. It's the first thing she says, right after she asks if I want to hold the baby, and I refused.

"You wouldn't miss graduation for anything, that's why I knew something was very wrong... I had my suspicions that you weren't well, for a while, but this is the last thing I had thought would happen..." She continues, "The baby is in the nursery."

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"For what? For not telling me, or because I found out?"

"Both. And also for letting this happen in the first place." My voice cracks a little when I take in all the courage I have and glance at my mom. The pale look on her face makes me close my eyes, taking a deeper inhale.  The smell of disinfectant was so strong throughout the room, white curtains and white furniture everywhere and a cot to my right which I refused to glance at twice.

"Chaeyeon-ah, I'm sure you're really upset right now, but I have to know who the father is."

My gaze goes back to my hands, fumbling a little while I look at the white blanket over me. My toes twitch a little, and my entire body still feels numb, much like my heart.

"Chaeyoung told me everything, except who the father is, and why you did it... So I'm not angry at you, I just need you to tell me."

"Mom..."

"Kim Taehyung?"

"Mom."

"So it is..." She sighs, glancing at the cot once again before she looks at me with a smile. "It's not hard to miss."

"What do you mean?" I ask, sitting up a little. Mom visibly hesitates, responding with yet another sigh when I raise an eyebrow.

"The baby... He resembles Taehyung a lot."

My mom must have noticed the sour look on my face, and she purses her lips a little, cautious about how she could say what she had to with minimal damage.

"He has one monolid and a double eyelid... Just like Taehyung does."

My thighs feel numb, and the feeling of all of my limbs aching makes me want my entire life to bleed out and end the pain.

"And also, he... He has the same little mole under his nose, just like Taehyung does."

And that's where I start to cry, and that is the day I realize that artificial medicines could numb my bones, but never my heart.

3

Chaeyoung carries the baby home after I get discharged.

Mom carries a bag filled to the brim with baby products, and I have no idea when she got them, and I don't bother asking. She had always been a perfectionist after all, and the look of disappointment that flooded her eyes when she found out I hadn't done any preparations, was enough for me to know that she would do something similar to this.

We exit the hospital building, and my legs feel weak while I hold onto Mom's hand. There's a taxi waiting for us, and mom gets in the passenger seat. Biting my lips, I find myself having no choice but to sit beside Chaeyoung, who carries the baby in her lap.

"He even has a little mole right under his eyes! He's so cute!" Chaeyoung sings, and it's instantaneous, the way my fists clench into a ball with pent-up anger and frustration. It's one thing that I had to have a baby, but...

As my eyes finally, finally dart to glance at my baby, I want to cry.

Because they were right. His skin is fair, cheeks a little pudgy and there's a thin layer of dark hair on his head... An angel, in the form of torture for me, because all the little moles on his face that Taehyung took pride in, this baby possessed them as well, and I want to cry. I have to look away, out to the roads instead, and if either Chaeyoung or my Mom heard my crying, they don't mention it.

The car ride is silent after that. Mom gets out of the car upon arrival at our house, and takes the baby while Chaeyooung takes the bag with the baby products. It feels awkward while I walk between the two, refusing a second glance at the baby and storming towards the stairs as soon as the door is opened.

"Chaeyeon-ah, you know we need to discuss this, right? You're a mother now." Mom's voice makes me halt on the second step, and it doesn't hurt just physically, but mentally, as well.

I didn't ask to be one.

"In three days, I'm leaving to Japan, Mom. I can't stay here to look after him."

"Then... What are your intentions about this innocent baby?"

I wish he never existed.

"I... I know this sounds so cruel, but Mom, I have absolutely o choice. He has to go to an orphanage, or something. I can't take him with me."

I don't want to.

"He's so beautiful..." Mom says instead, widened eyes softening as it lands on the baby. She pats his head softly, and the frown on her face turns into a painful smile instead.

He looks like Taehyung.

"Chaeyeon-ah, you're sure about this?" She asks, voice firm this time as she glances at me again. It's hard for me to read her expression while I nod, and it's really, really painful. I was not raised like such a heartless person, but here I was...

"Alright. Go back to your room and sleep well."

My Mom does not wish me a good night that day.

>

When I step out to the living room with my belongings, my mom is seated on the couch.

Waiting for me.

"Chaeyeon-ah... You know about your aunt Hyeomi, right?" She starts, cautiousness in her voice as she pats the head of the baby softly.

"The one who passed away before I was born, your sister?" I ask, a little confused because it sounded a little too random for her to bring that up, when she had always avoided my questions about her when I was younger. I didn't have the time to sit back and chat with my mom; I had a flight to Japan to check-in, in an hour, so I look at her in anticipation as she takes her time.

"Hyeomi is Chaeyoung's mother."

It takes a couple moments for the weight of her sentence to sink in, and I take in as much air as I can, legs feeling too weak to hold me up anymore. My mom has a sad smile on her face, tucking the small blanket around the baby and lowering him into the cot.

"Then, you're..."

"I'm Chaeyoung's adoptive mother." She clarifies, glancing up from the baby to my face. The more my mom spoke, the more I felt like she was puncturing holes in my heart. My head continues to reel as she goes on. "Hyeomi passed away because her immune system got too weak after Chaeyoung was born... I was pregnant with you, then."

"Then..."

"I decided to raise Chaeyoung. And it was really hard, and I could have just taken her to an orphanage, couldn't I? But Chaeyeon-ah, can you imagine your life right now without her?"

I couldn't will myself to respond, and I feel my eyes getting blurry.

"I could have taken her there but I didn't... And I'm not going to lie to you, Chaeyeon-ah, but it was really hard for me to get over my sister's death and then you were born a few months later... It was hard, but see, here you both are, grown up so well, finished college, and you even have a beautiful baby now..." She pauses, eyes going to the baby who had stopped squirming around. "I'm not letting him go to an orphanage."

"Mom..."

"Go. Finish your Masters and come back. I'll take care of him."

I couldn't argue with her, because it was hard to do that while crying. Taking a couple tissues from the box on the coffee table, I grab the strap of my carry-on and glance at my mom.

"I'm so sorry that I'm a disappointment, Mom."

"You aren't. There will be a day when you understand."

It breaks my heart when my mom embraces me when she says that, because the faith she has in me is unfair, even if it comes out of her maternal love. And it's even sadder, because I don't want her to know that I would never be able to look at the baby without wishing he never existed in the first place, to hurt me in more ways than one.

It was so wrong, but that was the way things were, and I couldn't change it even if I tried.

And so, with promises to call often and exchanges of 'I love you's, I grab my suitcase, saying goodbye to my Mom. I could see in her eyes that she was begging me to hold the baby, at least once, and the guilt makes me hurry outside, silently apologising to her on my way out.

"Chaeyeon-ah, wait." She says, when I reach the doorknob. When I glance back, she has a little smile on her face, eyeing the cot before she looks back at me.

"Yes?"

"You haven't chosen a name for the baby."

There's a pause while she waits for me to respond, but I'm not sure what I could say, so I shrug, turning around to face the door again.

"I don't mind, Mom. You do it."

And I walk outside before she can say anything that could make me feel guiltier. There's a silver rover at the gate, one that looks too sophisticated for me to feel the least bit comfortable about. I am almost passing by the car when the door swings open, and out comes a figure standing in burgundy coat reaching his knees. Despite his face being covered by a dark pair of sunglasses and a clean face mask, I am able to tell who it is instantly, thanks to the bright yellow beanie he has on.

Park Jimin lowers his face mask slightly, just enough for his smile to peek through, before he puts it back on and raises a hand to motion for me.

"Chaeyeon-ah! I almost missed meeting you, didn't I?" Jimin queries, closing the door to his car and lifting his sunglasses up to his beanie. "Are you going to- Oh."

There's a painful pause while Jimin's glance goes down to my suitcase and the carry-on which I have stacked on top.

"Chaeyeon-ah, I trust you but I'm not going to lie when I had my doubts that you might do this..." There is hurt visible on his face when he looks at me. "You're planning on leaving the country for good, aren't you? Just so you don't have to face Taetae..."

"No, Jimin, you've got it wrong! I'm going to Japan for my Masters... I'll be coming back in two years, so..."

"Ah? It's a good thing I have your bank account details, then!" Jimin's face cheers up a little, and I don't need to see that he is smiling; the crinkles under his eyes are enough for me to know that. "When is the... Oh my god."

It is only then that Jimin's glance goes away from my suitcase to my stomach, and it wasn't a lie to say that I had never, ever seen his eyes that wide in all of the years I'd known him.

"Chaeyeon-ah, did you... When?"

"He's inside the house. On graduation." I respond, trying my hardest not to get my head into the unwanted memories of my ruined graduation. Jimin's face gets a little bit of colour again, and he lowers his face mask fully this time, a huge smile dancing on his face, one that shows all of his teeth.

"A boy?!" Jimin cries like a little kid, his hands unconsciously clapping together in glee and it feels like a blow in the pit of my stomach; to see someone be so happy about something I hated so much. "I want to see him!"

"He's... He's inside." I repeat, nodding towards the door. Jimin's gaze goes to the front porch before he glances at my bags again.

"Are you going to the airport right now?" He asks, and when I nod, his mouth forms a little 'o'. "As much as I'd love to go and see the baby right now, let's go to the airport together."

"You don't need to. I can get a cab-"

"Chaeyeon-ah, I'm your friend, remember? Please get in, we'll go together!" Jimin exclaims, opening the door and I sigh, remembering how stubborn he had always been, no matter what the subject was about. And he has such a soft smile on his face that anyone would feel the need to cave into.

When I step in, Jimin gets in beside me, instructing the driver to go the airport.

"Besides," Jimin speaks softly, "I'm the Uncle of... Ah! What's your baby's name?"

It's an automated response of my body to cringe whenever someone refers to the baby as mine in the first place, and if Jimin noticed my action, he disregards it, instead, looking at me expectantly.

"I don't know yet."

"Is Chaeyoung looking after the baby?"

"No, my mom." I have to explain, fumbling with my fingers because it's still so sad, everything was so sad now and I didn't know what to do to make myself happy again.

Or rather, I knew that Kim Taehyung was the answer, but I couldn't even dream of doing that.

"Oh... Chaeyeon-ah, I know that talking about this makes you sad, so... How about we talk about other things? I mean, we are friends, after all, right?"

Someone as cruel as I didn't deserve a friend like Park Jimin.

4

It was really stupid of me to think that, starting fresh somewhere new, a place where no one knew about my past, would be a good thing.

Because, despite my studies going well, the guilt of having broken Taehyung's heart, and the fact that a baby I hated more and more with every passing day, really tested my temper. I was turning into a monster, one who depended on alcohol and strict friends who would take me back to my apartment before I could do something I regretted the next morning.

My mom called twice a week. During the first few months, she had tried to talk me into video calls, trying to convince me into seeing how the baby was growing up well.

She stopped after the sixth month, when she realised that she had screwed up.

It was on my birthday, the first one away from home. She had opened the video calling application with the baby in her lap, and, out of the respect I have for my mom only, had I not closed the lid of the laptop.

She was right, he was growing up well. He was growing up to look more and more like the baby pictures Taehyung had shown me of himself when we were dating, and I am about to cry when Chaeyoung had appeared on the screen, said hello, and then takes the baby out on a walk.

"Jae-ah is honestly the most beautiful baby ever." Mom mumbles with a smile, and that's when the tears in my eyes stop.

"... Jae?"

"Jae, as in Jaehyung. Your baby is called Kim Jaehyung, haven't I mentioned this to you before? You asked me to name him so I-"

And that was the day I realised that pent-up anger was a horrible feeling, because it can crush twenty-two years worth of respect in a single second and cause someone to act cold towards the person who gave birth to them.

And after two months of silence when I finally pick up her calls again, she apologises, and never bring up the baby again.

And yet, it doesn't make me feel less awful, because she is my mother, and in her eyes, I can see that she is dying for me to ask about the baby. How her expectations are shattered every time I say bye and never ask about anything except her well being and Chaeyoung's.

I honestly was the worst child, and an even worse mother.

I wasn't sure which was worse.

>

It's during the first few hours of December when my flight reaches Incheon airport.

Two and a half years back when I first left Korea, I had been crying, my health was deteriorating, and my heart had been broken into millions of pieces.

Now, I feel tired, I am able to stand up straighter, and feel less hollow because I had tried my hardest to control my emotions.

But I learned, the hard way, that once you truly love someone, you can never take it back. My heart yearns for Taehyung and his warmth, and every dating rumour that had spread on the internet over the time away does nothing less to my fragile heart which I had assumed had already gone through the toughest of things in life.

My thoughts are interrupted when I see my name printed on a banner, and it's Chaeyoung standing with the white banner waving, and there's a male figure standing beside her, waving as well. It makes me smile, seeing the soft pink hair of Park Jimin's, hidden poorly underneath the snapback he has on.

And it's only when Chaeyoung puts the banner down and comes to run up to me, when I see the reason why Jimin waves with a single hand; He clutches tightly to the hand of a small boy, much, much shorter than him, and it makes my heart sink instantly.

Things move way too fast for me to fathom everything, and Chaeyoung's arms wrap around my shoulders as soon as the escalator stops on the ground floor. And while I feel the warmth that my sister has to offer, I have to guard diligently against crying when I see the uncanny resemblance the boy has, with the love of my life.

He is holding onto Jimin's hand tightly, who only smiles and lowers the face mask he has on before approaching the two of us.

"Chaeyeon-ah! Hello!" My friend greets, and it's really hard, to not smile at his innocent expression, even though I wish I could turn back and take a flight back to anywhere but here.

"Hi, Jiminie. Hi, Chaeyoung. It's been a while."

"Jimin here wanted to drive us back but he has to leave. He insisted on staying at least to say hi to you." Chaeyoung has to say, taking the little boy's hand while Jimin raises both his hands up to his face, obviously flustered.

"I just wanted to know that you're doing well." Jimin purses his lips a little, an endearing gesture, and I smile when his face softens, glancing back at me. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Jiminie."

There's a brief exchange of handshakes before Jimin hurries back, and he's gone back to his hectic schedule again. A few moments of silence pass by before Chaeyoung glances at the boy.

"Jae-ah, here's your mummy."

"Chaeyoung..."

The little boy makes no motions of responding, and when I glance at his face for a few seconds, I see a perplexed expression on his pale, round face. It's painful to look at him, and I knew that he was innocent but I couldn't help myself. I grab my suitcases and begin to drag them out to the porch.

Chaeyoung and the boy follow in silence, and I am the one who flags a cab and takes the passenger seat. The ride back home is as silent as I remember the ride to the airport a couple years back had been, and it feels like a constant reminder that things haven't changed, not even a little bit.

The fresh aroma of home-cooked meals welcomes the three of us when we enter our house. The pale beige and peach walls of the house make me tear up a little, and I find myself crying when my mom embraces me.

"Chaeyeon-ah, I missed you so much. Let's have a good meal before you rest, shall we?"

And it makes my heart throb a little, because she loves me despite all the cruel things I had done to her and her grandson. And even though the word itself makes me cringe and want to cry even harder, I find myself nodding instead.

Chaeyoung appears in the kitchen a while after mom sets the plates.

"I tucked Jae to bed. I hope he won't be a bother to you, Chae." She says, and that's the last time the little boy's name is brought up at dinner. I find myself eating a proper meal after what feels like months, and a couple drinks of soju later, Chaeyoung follows me upstairs to my room to unpack with me.

And that's the moment when my mood turns foul again.

Because, there's a smaller bed opposite to mine inside my room, and Jaehyung is sleeping there.

I wasn't sure which was worse: the fact that my mom had decided that Jae would share my room, or the fact that he is asleep while holding onto an all too familiar plushie.

"You bought him a Tata plushie?" I ask, and my voice sounds a little harsher than I intended. When my glance goes to the boy sleeping softly, Chaeyoung shakes her head.

"It's okay, he's a heavy sleeper." She pauses, taking a seat on my bed and watching while I stand, dumbfounded by the events unfolding. "And what, this is the closest he can get to his dad. It's the least I could do for him."

"But Chae..."

"And Jae really, really, loves music. Look, Chae, I'm not going to hide anything from you," She says, "Jae has TV around him all the time, he watches music shows we watch, and I don't think it's ironic at all that he really, really likes the 'guy with the big eyes' from a world-famous boyband you and I are all too familiar with."

The weight of her words hits me like a ton of bricks, and I have to sit down because it becomes really hard for me to breathe.

"And he was really, really shocked when he found out that Jimin knows me. And yet, despite personally knowing Jimin, he's fond of Tae in a way I can't even express, you need to see it for yourself. His favourite lullaby to sleep is '4 o'clock'. You really, really can't avoid this anymore, Chae, if you aren't ready for this now, then start preparing. Jimin gave you till Jae's fourth birthday and he's going to turn three soon. Don't..."

Chaeyoung pauses her speech, glancing at Jaehyung's bed before she turns back to me again.

"I'm not saying this because I want you to be scared of me, but... Despite him not having his mom or dad around, Jae has been living a happy and cheerful life, and I will not allow you to come back here and just ruin what Mum and I have been working on." Her voice stays monotone as she pats Jae's hair. She glances at me when I unlock my suitcase in silence.

"Hmm."

"I love you, Chae, but... If you intend on doing cruel things to him, then you can leave the house." Chaeyoung's voice makes me snap my head back at her, startled at her words. "Of course, I don't want you to choose the option of leaving, I want you to stay here and treat Jae well. I won't let you ignore him. Like I said, if you want to do that, it's best you don't stay here. Because he's the most wonderful thing that has probably happened in my sad, sad life. I'm sure he will be, for you, too."

That's easy for you to say.

5

My room is dimly lit when I wake up the next morning. The sun's rays give the room a golden hue, and I sit up, stretching a little after a good night's sleep.

The first thing I see is that, at my study desk, Jaehyung is sitting, writing something on a thick notebook. It's like an automatic response, for my body to shudder whenever I see the kid, and every kind of pain I had felt over the past couple years makes me have to use every ounce of my self-control to not raise a hand at the innocent boy.

When Jaehyung hears the ruffling of the duvet that I was moving away before getting up, he turns around, curious eyes peering over at the way I head to the dresser. It's probably his naive mind, unaware that I can clearly see his reflection, glance set on me while I comb my hair and put it up in a ponytail.

He immediately turns back to his writing when I turn around, and the gesture would have made my heart soften a little... If it wasn't for the fact that all I could think about as I watched his reflection was that he resembled Taehyung much more than necessary.

After washing up, I put some toner on before I make my way to the door. When I close the door behind me, I can hear the sound of the chair at the desk move a little, indicating Jaehyung had gotten up. Sighing, I walk downstairs to the kitchen.

"Chaeyeon-ah, you're up! I'm almost done with breakfast, can you help me make the omelettes?"

"Sure, Mom."

It feels nice to stay in the middle of the warm air radiating off from the fresh food we prepared, and Mom sets the plates while I finish making the eggs.

Chaeyoung comes down the stairs with her hair tied up into a bun, and she has a big smile when she sees the food.

"I have a big exam this evening, so I'm going to eat a lot." She says, making Mom and I chuckle as she digs into the food. When I bring the eggs to the table, Mom goes towards the staircase.

"Jae-ah, come down. It's time for breakfast."

Chaeyoung's glance goes towards me, and there's some sort of warning in her eyes while I turn away, and I can feel her glaring daggers at my back while I put the pan away. Jaehyung responds with a nod and climbs down the stairs, one step at a time and when he's down, he walks towards the cabinet beside which I am standing.

In silence, the little boy bends down, opens the door, and takes out a stack of old-looking textbooks. It feels a little odd, so I have my gaze on him as he carries the books up to the chair beside Chaeyoung's. Carefully, he stacks the books on top of the chair before he seats himself over them. My sister has a smile ready for him, and I watch while he mumbles something, his thanks for the food, most probably, before he reaches for a piece of the omelette.

"Chaeyeon-ah? Come eat." Mom calls, taking a seat in front of Jaehyung, and I nod, heading to the table as well. It feels a little out of place, and I didn't want to be a disappointment, but I couldn't get myself to look at the boy in the eyes for longer than a second.

"So, since Mom is moving back to Daegu in a couple hours, so she's not going to be around to help. Chaeyeon-ah, are you going to look for a job here, or..?"

"Yeah, I'm going to start job hunting soon."

"Okay. Jae-ah, do you want more toast?" Chaeyoung asks, watching the way the boy has his hands extended out towards the plate. When he nods, my sister places a slice on his plate.

"Are you excited to go to school again, Jae-ah?" Mom asks, and the boy nods, a big smile forming on his face.

"Jimin hyung-ah said that if I study well, he'll get me ice cream next week," Jaehyung says, using a spoon to lift a piece of the egg up to his mouth. It's a little startling, how well he speaks considering he isn't even three yet; Mom and Chaeyoung had done a good job, even his mannerisms are polite. It makes me shrink in my seat, because it wasn't a lie to say I wished there was something about him that I could hate; so that my feelings of hatred for the boy would be justified.

"Even I will give you ice cream if you study well." Chaeyoung says, and then turns to face me. "Chaeyeon-ah, since Mom and I will be busy today, why don't you take Jae to school?"

There's a look on her face that warns me not to say anything negative, and Mom has a melancholic expression on her face when I don't say anything in response.

"Chae?"

"Fine."

Chaeyoung seems pleased, despite the monotone in my voice, and she turns to face Jaehyung with a big smile. "You can go to school today with Mummy, and I'm going to study a lot, meanwhile."

"Fighting." Jaehyung says, raising his fist balled up along with the spoon in his clutches. The mood during breakfast is kept thanks to Chaeyoung's constant talking and Jaehyung's little episodes about school.

I'm not sure what to expect, but all I knew was that I'd take a cab, just so I could drop him off as soon as I could.

>

It's close to eleven o'clock when the dishes are put away, and Chaeyoung texts me the location of Jaehyung's nursery school. The little boy follows me when I walk up the stairs to my room, and while I get ready to head out, Jaehyung hurries to pack his bag and change into his school uniform.

He's silent with his actions, even opening the door cautiously when he sees that I am ready. It takes him a while to climb the stairs, holding onto the wooden bar tightly with each step he takes. Jaehyung has a confused expression on his face when he looks up to me checking the location Chaeyoung had sent earlier.

The nursery isn't close to home, but it also wasn't far enough to get in a cab, either. When we stand on the pavement outside the gate, Jaehyung begins to fumble with his hands.

"How do you usually go to school?"

Jaehyung's response is widened eyes, his head flipping up to look at me in surprise. It makes me realise that it was the first time I had directly spoken to him, and he takes a moment to scratch his head and turn to look at the road.

"I walk, with Grandma. But most times, with Noona." He mumbles. He has a hard time pronouncing the word, and it sounds more like he's saying 'Doona', instead. It's as he says this, that I realise that his voice is soft, contrasting to Taehyung's, and it makes me sigh in relief that at least one of his traits are different from his father's.

"Chaeyoung?"

"Yes. Chaeyoung Noona." He confirms. It feels abstract, but I am reminded of a time inside a Chinese restaurant where Taehyung had told me about how he hoped that his first child would be a boy.

This is...

...Painful.

Taking another deep inhale, I begin to cross the street. Jaehyung seems startled by my action, his hand reaching towards mine a little before he retrieves his hand back into his coat pocket. In silence, the boy follows me, trying his best to keep up with my pace. It is only when we reach the other end of the street and get up to the next road, that he discreetly takes holds the fabric of my coat.

He doesn't clutch onto it tightly, just enough that he is able to walk through the crowd at my pace and not get lost. It feels out of place and I want so badly to scream at him, to swat his hand away; but the fact that he makes sure his clutch is so soft that I can barely feel it, makes me even angrier. Who had taught him to behave this way, or was he naturally like this?

It's a quiet fifteen-minute walk when we arrive at the gates of the nursery. As Chaeyoung had advised me to, I enter the school grounds, and it's easy for me as Jaehyung becomes more comfortable at the familiar surroundings and walks two steps ahead.

And then, he stops walking when he reaches an opened door at the far corner of the ground floor.

"That is my class." He informs, pointing at the door.

"When do you finish?"

Jaehyung's eyes go wide again, a hand palming over the strap of his backpack before he raises five fingers.

"Five o'clock." He says, eyes turning where a tall brunette appears beside him, holding a clipboard.

"Ah, Kim Jaehyung. Hello! Get in class, you're a little late today, aren't you?" The woman, who I assume to be his teacher, says with a big smile.

"I walked to school with my Mummy today." I hear him whisper to the teacher, who gives me a smile. I think I smiled back at her before I walked out, I wasn't sure, because now my head hurts in addition to my chest, and I don't know what I should have expected.

Chaeyoung had taken Mom to the train station to see her off while I took Jaehyung to school. It felt wrong to simply stay at home while she had to go back to fetch the boy, not when she had her finals this evening.

And so, despite my heart crying for me to go back home and crawl into a ball, to tear away the plushies lined neatly on his bed, and scream at the top of my voice, I head to the nearest coffee shop.

Scrolling through the job ads and circling the ones that seemed good, I spend the time till five, inside the shop. Three cups of coffee and a muffin later, I am walking out of the coffee shop, to pick the boy up.

The evening air is chilly, and I have my hands in the pocket of my coat, when I hear a voice calling out my name carefully.

And it's so scary, how familiar the voice is, how hesitant it sounded the second time the voice repeats my name, and my hands are trembling when I turn around to face the person I had been avoiding for the past three years.

Kim Taehyung stands, expressionless, eyes wide, and the coat he has on is five times too large on him, but that's exactly how he likes it. The sleeves of the sweater he has on are too long, reaching up to cover almost all of his fingers, and while we stood, the only thing that I could feel was the cold air rushing out into mist with every exhale of ours.

It's ironic, because he had recognized me in the midst of so many other people, from so far, and I have to tear my gaze away from his eyes because I don't want him to see my tear-filled eyes.

And it's painful, because he doesn't move, he simply stands, not making any motions of going away or coming closer, the few meters away he stays seems like a spot he doesn't want to move from.

And it's even more ironic because I can see Jaehyung who had spotted me, and he runs across the grounds towards me.

No. Please go away. Don't come in front of Taehyung.

"Hello," He greets.

I didn't hide your face from him for so many years for nothing, go away.

"Go inside for a while. I have an important thing to do." I say between gritted teeth, and if Jaehyung had seen the tears falling down my cheeks, he doesn't mention it. Instead, the boy gives me a nod, eyes wide before he runs back inside and heads towards the slides.

It takes me a while to calm down, and when I turn back to the street, Taehyung stands in his spot, blinking away the tears in his own eyes. He hadn't moved, and it didn't look like he would, either.

"Chaeyeon-ah."

"Why are you here?" I whisper. Taehyung takes a step forward, and that's only when I see that there are two people standing behind him, Jungkook and Hoseok, who I recognize instantly. And it gets harder for me to not burst out crying, especially when the two bow a little at me before they begin to cross the street.

Taehyung waits until the two are on the other side, before he takes another step closer. I can feel his cold breath on my face, and I have to look away, because...

Jaehyung, his very own child, looks so much like him and it's painful that he was here in front of me, but I couldn't tell him that his child was so close to him.

He doesn't question it.

He doesn't question me, he doesn't ask me why I am standing in front of a nursery, why I had been talking to a small child, and why I am crying out here, in public.

Instead, he says one thing, and then he turns around.

And then he's gone.

"I loved you."

arc 03

1

Time and again, I hear about how Jaehyung is a miniature version of Kim Taehyung, and it bothers me to admit that it's true.

But it was today that I learned that Jaehyung was also like a miniature version of Park Jimin: filled with endless compassion and care for other people.

It moves me to tears, the way I watch Taehyung cross the street and leave, similar to the way I had left him all those years ago. The fact that he says something, unlike I had, reminds me for the umpteenth time that I was undeserving of his love anyways.

Kim Jaehyung is a little child. Not even three years old, but he knows to stay away, blinking with his big eyes - just like his father's - and the amount of patience he has makes my heart weaker as I envision Jimin's sincere looks of worry. And Jaehyung's face is like a much younger mirror of my said friend, and it is only after what seems like hours that I wave for the child to come over.

He doesn't question it.

Instead, Jaehyung simply looks at me with his big, dark eyes, filling with confusion and slight bother. I say nothing, and he does the same, lowering his head and facing the ground when I find words failing me.

And when I turn around and start to walk away, Jaehyung scurries behind me, and when his hand takes hold of a small corner of my coat... this time, I couldn't get myself to be bothered.

(And when we get home and Chaeyoung asks him how his day was, he beams, and whispers to her that it's the happiest day of his life.)

>

It's on the day right before New Year's Eve, when Chaeyoung lets me know that the National Arts Museum needs an employee to fill in their job for a literature guide.

She says it's the perfect job for me, and I agree; more so because managing the finances for the food, the rent, and Jaehyung's needs would be hard on her own. And I have responsibilities now that I can't escape even if I wanted to. Especially when Mom has moved back to Daegu now.

The employer gives me the job on the spot, and my first day of the new year passes by with the rest of the trainees at the museum.

It's a tiring day, and the following day would be even more tiring; so I am thankful for the fact that Jaehyung keeps to himself, coloring or doodling by my desk quietly while I head to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

And when I step outside in my pajamas, he turns and glances at me for a second, before he puts away his color box and books. By the time I am tucking myself in bed, he comes out of the bath as well.

It's a naive thing that only children do; copying everything they see someone else do. And it's amusing to some extent, up until he climbs onto his bed and clutches his Tata plushie with all his might.

That sight makes me look away.

2

Chaeyoung is in her final year of med school, and the eye bags underneath her bloodshot eyes every day is a silent beg that I continue to take Jaehyung to and from school.

It's still uncomfortable if I look into it too much, but there is a line that differentiates Kim Jaehyung from Kim Taehyung; Jaehyung is quiet. He's eerily quiet around me, that I'd fear he's dead, if I don't hear the way he breathes heavily from his mouth every ten seconds.

He's silent in ways that make me feel like he isn't present at all, what with his unnoticeable tugs on my coat when he walks beside me, on his way to school.

It's... not a difficult routine to get used to.

It only becomes difficult when BTS has a comeback.

The television is always on to BTS performing their title song, 'Away'. And I know that it has no relation to me, but the brilliant way that Namjoon has written the lyrics makes me uneasy, especially when I see the way Taehyung sings the bridge in his low baritone... His voice filled with melancholy and eyes shining as he looks directly at the screen.

The fact that Jaehyung watches the TV screen in amusement does not help.

It becomes a little hard to breathe when I am at home, and I can't digest the food on my plate when the screen in front of me plays such a sorrowful song.

Life... turns into a sad routine. A baseless routine of crying every day - which I was able to put on hold for a while - and simply trying to pass each day without hurting the child inside my room who hums lyrics to the songs of an album I wish I could stay away from.

It's on a warm night when I am woken up from my sleep, to the sound of clapping and quiet singing. As I squint at the doorway where a lot of light enters the room, I see Chaeyoung, holding a box - which I recognize as a cake a while afterwards - singing happy birthday to a beaming Kim Jaehyung.

The bond they share is almost envious, and I feel slightly nauseous as I watch the child fling his arms around Chaeyoung's leg, chanting 'Thank you, Chaeyoung-noona!' continuously like a mantra.

They go outside, and I sigh, clutching my pillow and it feels a little painful when the door creaks open a little and I hear the sound of footsteps approaching me.

It's silent for a while, and when I finally turn to face the kid, his eyes go wide.

"What do you need?"

Jaehyung blinks a few times before he lowers his gaze, fumbling with his fingers - an action he does a lot, when he's nervous - and takes in a deep inhale.

"Chaeyoung-noona asked you to... come and have some cake..." When he sees the way I squint my eyes at him, he adds, "Please."

A part of my sanity screams at me to ignore the child, but he looks at me with fearful eyes and that's even more painful than Chaeyoung's disappointed expressions when she hears from Jaehyung that I couldn't even say two words to him on our trips.

It makes me drag myself off from the bed, and Jaehyung's big eyes widen even more as he takes a few steps back. When he's confirmed that I am actually coming along, he turns around and dashes off, hurrying downstairs, one step at a time.

He's quiet as he watches Chaeyoung beam and place a slice of cake on a plate for me. And he doesn't talk, except to say 'yes', when my sister wants to know if he's happy.

He finishes up the cake when he sees me put away the plate, when I'm done. And then, he scurries after me when I go upstairs.

It's hard to fall asleep when the realization that there is only one more year before the deadline Jimin had given me hits me right then.

>

The day is breezy and the television is on, various music playing on while I prepare breakfast. The food I eat tastes better now that I can contribute to the expenses, and the art museum is lenient about my work hours, especially after discovering that I have a child that I take to school every day during my lunch break.

No one asks me who the father is, and I am grateful to that.

It's the morning of Jaehyung's third birthday, and I hear Chaeyoung call the child to get him down for breakfast. My sister enters the kitchen with a textbook in hand, greeting me warmly as she takes a seat at the table. She doesn't say anything, instead, going back to her book. I turn the stove on a little higher as I hurry to finish the stir-fried vegetables.

Jaehyung comes downstairs after a while, eyes still droopy from sleep as he waddles his way towards the cabinet. The child lets out a small yawn as he picks the books out, and carries them to his seat. After Mom had left, Chaeyoung sits at the head of the table, and Jaehyung was overwhelmed for a little while before he got used to the new seating arrangement.

After the food is arranged and I sit down, I get a call from Jimin.

Jimin greets me with a warm hello before he asks if I can open up the video-call option, so that he can wish Jaehyung a happy birthday.

After the child exclaims a loud 'Jimin-hyungnim!', there is a knock on the door, and it's a box that Jimin himself had sent for Jaehyung.

I can hear the child gasp in surprise while Chaeyoung helps him open the package, and I feel slightly hesitant when my sister hands me back my phone and tells me that Jimin has something he wants to tell me.

Jimin asks me to go away from Jaehyung for a bit, and when I ask him what's wrong, he lets out a loud sigh.

"I'm so sorry, Chaeyeon-ah. The other day, Taetae heard me talking to Chaeyoung, and he asked me about you."

I feel horrified as I blink at my friend, and he looks extremely exhausted, but I have no choice but to question him.

"I asked him what he meant, and... he told me that he knew I wouldn't just not talk to you if I was regularly taking to Chaeyoung... And he said he knew I wouldn't have stayed quiet when you two... you know. Broke up."

"Jimin-ah, does he know about Jae-"

"Taetae said he was going to go. He said he knows your address, and that he'd go, and I tried to convince him that that's a bad idea, but you know how stubborn he is."

"Jimin-ah, he can't come here. Jae is-"

I am interrupted when the child himself comes out into the living room. Jaehyung looks a little confused when he sees my expression, but he doesn't say anything, and instead, hands me an envelope.

"What's this?"

"It was inside the box. Noona says it's for you."

That's all he says, before he hurries back to the dining table. And when I turn to face Jimin, he looks slightly relieved.

"Yeah, I know, Chaeyeon-ah. That's why I convinced Taetae to write a letter to you, instead."

I can feel my hands trembling like crazy as soon as Jimin says that, and my friend notices my expression right away.

"Don't worry, Chaeyeon-ah. I'll make sure Jae is safe. Unless you're ready to tell Taetae now-"

"No!" It comes out as an unintentional yell, and Jimin's eyes become slightly smaller, lips pressing into a thin line.

"Okay. One more year, Chaeyeon-ah. See you later." Jimin's voice is grim, and the line goes off as he hangs up the call. It takes every ounce of my willpower to head back to the dining room, stuffing the letter into my coat pocket before I go to join the two at the table.

I am glad that both Jaehyung and Chaeyoung are too busy chattering about Jimin's present, to notice that I can barely hold my chopsticks up.

>

It's twenty minutes after five when Jaehyung and I enter home. The day is tiring and Chaeyoung greets the child who busily takes off his boots and puts away his books at the table.

"Chaeyoung-noona, I have a poster to do today." He says, which makes my sister smile and ruffle Jaehyung's hair.

"Alright. I'll study in my room, then. You can use the big desk, Jae-ah."

Sighing, I head upstairs after I hear their interaction. Jaehyung waits until I am done using the washroom, for his turn, and after a quick meal of ramyeon and rice, I head upstairs to finish some of my work files.

It's only an hour after that, when Chaeyoung steps into my room, and the tears streaming down her cheeks makes me stand up and put my pair of glasses down.

"Chae..."

"I want to disappear, Chaeyeon-ah. Jae just asked me how his dad looks like, and I..." Her voice trails off as she slumps on my bed, wiping her eyes using her long sleeve as she tries to calm down. "He's never asked that before... and that's the only reason why I'd been able to hold on. Do something about it, Chaeyeon-ah, I can't bear it."

My hands are trembling as I walk down the stairs, and Jaehyung is coloring his poster, and what he was drawing makes it very hard to keep a straight face.

A family tree.

All the spots are drawn except for one, and it pains me to see the spot beside mine remaining empty.

"Oh?" Jaehyung mumbles, when he notices me standing beside him at the table. "Is Chaeyoung-noona fine? She looked not fine."

"She... She will be fine. What did you ask her?"

"I asked Noona how Appa looks like."

And even though I knew that was exactly the reason why I was downstairs and why Chaeyoung was crying in the first place, it still hurts me when I hear those words coming directly from the child himself. Pressing my lips into a thin line, I take the seat beside his chair.

This action startles Jaehyung so much that his jaw actually drops open, big eyes wide and blinking continuously while his grip on his purple crayon comes loose.

"I can't tell you how your... Appa... looks like. But I can tell you that he...he looks a lot like you."

Jaehyung reacts with eyes going even wider, mouth forming a small 'o' while he looks at me in surprise.

"Appa looks like me?"

"... Yes."

He doesn't question it.

Jaehyung does not ask me why I can't tell him these things. He doesn't question it, instead, he questions something else.

"It's my third birthday so can I ask three other things about Appa?"

I feel myself freeze in my seat at the little boy in front of me, his big innocent eyes filled with childish curiosity, and it makes me nod a little, thankful that he doesn't demand to know who his father is.

"Is Appa nice?"

"... Yes. He's one of the nicest people in the world and someone like me doesn't deserve someone as nice and kind as him."

The big smile that formed on his face at first becomes smaller as I go along with my sentence, and by the end, he has a small frown on his face, eyes going towards the empty spot on his family tree.

"My teacher says that everyone has reasons for the way they are."

There is silence for a while after he says this because I have nothing I can say in response to something like that. Jaehyung takes this as a cue to ask his next question.

"What kind of things does Appa like to do?"

My head begins to reel and I have to look away from the curious eyes of Jaehyung that mirror his father's exactly. It takes me every ounce of will I have to not stand up and leave, and my vision starts to blur when Jaehyung begins a sketch on the empty spot on his poster.

"He likes to... he likes to take pictures, and draw."

"Appa is a lot like me, then?"

"A lot."

"What else can you tell me?"

"Appa loves to eat strawberries and play video games. He likes to watch scary movies and... and he likes songs." I stop there because of the fear of letting on too much. Jaehyung seems to understand that my pause meant that I was done with telling him as much as I could, and he nods, a little smile forming on his features as he focuses on his drawing.

"I don't like scary movies. But Appa does sound like me a lot." He smiles, looking up at me. "I have one more question."

"What is it?"

"Does Jimin-hyungnim know Appa?"

And that's the question that makes my blood freeze, and the tears welling in my eyes start to stream down. There's a lot of self-control that I have gained after the past years, but it's not enough while I start to sob loudly, and Jaehyung drops his pencil while confusion and panic filled his features.

"Eomma?" It's the first time he actually referred to me as his mother, and it kills me inside because now there are tears in his eyes and I had done nothing right towards the child for him to worry about my well-being.

"Don't cry! I'm sorry!" He says with his eyes puffy from crying. "I take it back. I am fine with two questions. The question is not important if it makes Eomma cry."

There is an ache in my chest that does not leave even when night falls and I hear Jaehyung tucking himself to bed and wishing his Tata plushie a good night.

3

Jaehyung does not question about his 'Appa' after that.

He continues his quiet self around me, being a little loud only when he converses with Chaeyoung.

And meanwhile, Chaeyoung graduates from med school, and gets accepted for the first job she applies, at the hospital two blocks from our apartment.

It's a convenient change, and the days are crossed from the calendar while I continue my job at the museum, and take Jaehyung to and from school every day.

I feel slightly less stressed and sad after my talk with the child on his birthday, even though I was barely able to tell him anything coherent. And when I tell Chaeyoung about what happened, she asks me to think about just how much happier I would be the day Jaehyung finally finds out who his dad is, and gets to meet Taehyung.

There are certain things I can never even imagine, and that was one.

Taehyung's letter remains inside my cabinet untouched for three weeks, and while my heart continues to cry and die to read it, I can't get myself to face what Taehyung has written.

Until the day Taehyung leaves another letter, this time at my post box.

It's ironic, how Jaehyung is the person I want to hide his father's identity from the most, and yet it's him who runs out to the porch to get the letter when he spots the mailman.

And then he runs inside the house, where Chaeyoung and I are seated at with our laptops, and the child hands us our mail.

"Noona, you have some mail from the hospital." The child says, handing the letters to my sister, then turning to me as he hands the sole envelope to me. "This letter is addressed to you, and it's from 'Kim Taehyung', it says."

I feel my eyes going wide at the mention, hands slipping away from the keyboard as I exchange a shocked glance with Chaeyoung before I take the letter from the boy's clutches.

The rays of the noon's sun filter through the thin curtains of my room while I rush to reach for my desk cabinet and take out the first letter I had received from Taehyung. And my hands are shaking so much that I almost tear the piece of paper itself while I remove it from the envelope covering.

Taehyung's familiar handwriting instantly makes me teary-eyed.

'Dear Chaeyeon,

It's been a while.

I thought I would have a lot of things to say now that I got the chance to finally say something to you.

But looking back, nothing has really changed.

I've changed over the years, but my feelings remain.

I wish it didn't. It would have made my life so much easier.

I have so many things I want to ask you, but I need you to be right in front of me for that.

Please let me know what I need to do so that you would answer me.

I don't want these suspicions that I have to finally take over my feelings for you. I don't think I am strong enough for that.

-Kim Taehyung'

With trembling hands, I tear open the second envelope, and my heart sinks when I see that the letter is a little longer than the first one.

'Chaeyeon-ah,

It's been three weeks and I haven't heard from you.

I'm not going to ask you if you are doing well because I know you aren't. I see you once, and I will know that something bothers you.

Why are you doing things that make you unhappy?

You were the one who told me to take small time off for myself and to enjoy the things I like, to pick up on a hobby when I was away from you on tour.

You taught me all these things, and yet, you're contradicting all of that.

I want to ask you so many things but I'm afraid of the answer.

I'm afraid you would tell me something that would cause my heart to permanently shatter.

Why do you do this, Chaeyeon-ah?

We promised that if anything bothered each other, we'd talk about it. That we would be mature about our relationship, especially because I am an idol.

I trust you. I know what you did was the by-product of something you had no choice over. But I need to know.

Because all I need is an answer. A reason, a valid reason that you're hiding from me.

A truth.

My heart will want you again, then.

It's not fair that Jiminie gets to see you and I don't.

Chaeyeon-ah, I wish to see you.'

At the bottom corner of the letter is the address to the coffee shop I used to work at, directions to the place, along with a time and date for me to meet Taehyung. And it makes my heart sink that he signed the letter yet again, even risking going so far as to writing his name on the envelope.

I don't know how long I laid on my bed clutching the letters in hand, up till Jaehyung enters the room and quietly heads to the washroom.

Collecting myself, I sit up, placing the letters on the drawer of my bedside table before taking a look at myself in the mirror.

And Taehyung was right: I'm not fine.

Jaehyung steps out of the washroom after washing up, and I can see his curious eyes on me before he climbs onto his bed. I thought that by the time I finishing washing up, myself, he'd be asleep, but the child sits in the middle of his bed, holding his Tata plushie, eyes on me while I sit at the dresser.

"What's wrong?"

Jaehyung's eyes go wide when he realizes that I caught him staring, and the boy looks slightly flustered when he looks away and scratches his head a little.

"It's... Eomma, how do you know Kim Taehyung?"

There is a dizzying feeling that I experience while I try my hardest to keep calm and control my trembling lips. I remember then that Chaeyoung had mentioned how much Jaehyung adored BTS, specially Taehyung himself, and that I should have expected the question to come eventually.

But it's a little different this time, because the only feeling I have is sadness. Empty sadness, but I can't force myself to be angry at the child. Despite not wanting anything to do with Jaehyung, it's difficult to feel hatred towards the innocent kid. He's just a child with questions and I can't blame him even though I wanted to, and run away from everything.

I can't lie to the eyes that are a mirror image of Kim Taehyung's.

"Is it something you can't tell me, too? Like the story with Appa?"

"Y-Yes. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I have another question, though."

"What is it?" I ask, dreading any question heading my way, but wanting to get it over with.

"Can I keep calling you Eomma, if you don't mind?"

"I... Alright."

A big smile forms on Jaehyung's face, giving a small nod as he lies down on his bed and leans on against the pillow.

"Okay. Goodnight, Eomma."

"Goodnight."

>

It's 7pm on an August evening and Jaehyung is seated at his desk, doing some English homework while I prepare slides for the museum. The job is not very hard and easy to go by, and pays well, being lenient enough specially after having found that I was raising a child on my own.

As the days continue to pass, I feel less bothered by Jaehyung's presence. Chaeyoung has mentioned this hundreds of times, that I would find love inside my heart for the child if I spent more time with him.

Perhaps it's the fact that he looks so much like Taehyung, that makes it better.

Earlier, it would pain me that he looked like the love of my life so much, but the thought that at least Jaehyung is here if I couldn't have Taehyung in this lifetime... That makes me feel a little better about myself.

What with the amount of child psychology classes I've attended during my study years, it's endearing to some extent, to see the little boy open up to me a little more. And perhaps I am opening up a little as well, and when I tell him about Japan and college, Jaehyung looks at me as if I'm telling him about the most wonderful things in the world.

Jaehyung's eyes are innocent and full of childish curiosity, and sometimes it pains me when he asks me something and I get hurt even though he has no intention to do so.

And... that's what makes him such a special kid, because when he notices that I am upset about something he asks, he knows to change the subject or tell me it's okay to not answer.

My mother and Chaeyoung has raised him really well in my absence.

"Eomma," Jaehyung says, making me look up from my presentation, "Can you help me with my homework?"

"Sure." I say, walking over and taking the seat beside the boy. Jaehyung points at the second question, using his pencil to scratch his head while he furrows his eyebrows.

"I don't remember what a pronoun is."

"A pronoun, in this context, is the word you use to express gender." I explain, reaching for the pencil in his clutches. "For this question, it says 'Yeri is a girl. She likes to eat ice-cream.' The pronoun here is 'she', because we can use that word instead of saying Yeri every time."

"Is that why when it's a boy, we say 'he', and 'him'?"

"Yes."

"So if there is a lot of people, we say 'they'?"

"Yes, that's correct. Good job!" I blurt out, and it's instinctive, the way my hands raise up towards the child, seeking a high five in return. Jaehyung looks startled for a moment before he smiles a little, eyes forming beautiful crescent moons while he softly presses his hand on mine.

Sighing, I reach for my laptop and pull it towards me, and I can feel Jaehyung's eyes on me as I begin typing, shocked expression on his features for a while before he shakes his head and goes back to his task.

It's quiet after that, and I'd also call it peaceful to some extent, watching the boy write sentences in slightly messy English handwriting in between making my slides.

A little while passes before there's a ring of the bell that makes me save my work and head to the door.

The person who stands outside makes me thank every entity that exists, that Jaehyung was not the person to answer the door.

"T-Taehyung?! What are you doi-"

"Chaeyeon-ah."

I'd been happy a couple moments ago, but now, seeing Taehyung wearing an oversized coat over his cashmere sweater and slacks in front of my door makes tears well in my eyes.

The way he says my name as if it's worth everything he seeks, makes it worse. I have to take two steps toward him to step outside, closing the door behind me before I take a look at the man in front of me again.

"Why? Why can't I get inside?"

Taehyung's voice has become slightly deeper from the last time I'd seen him outside Jaehyung's school, and his eyes are shining as his entire focus is on me, eyes looking down at me after I had stepped closer to him.

And like a teenager in love, my heart begins to race while I watch a lone tear stream down Taehyung's, and he looks so much like Jaehyung that my heart begins to physically pain again.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what, Chaeyeon-ah?" He asks, pulling down his scarf a little, enough for me to see his lips. "Sorry that you can't let me in, or because you can't answer any of my letters even though I know for a fact that you received them?"

"Taehyung-ah..."

"Or are you sorry that I waited at the café for you for two hours, hoping you'd come, or because even after all these years, I still want to hold you tight even though you don't want to, anymore?"

How can I answer a question like that? How could I tell Taehyung that there was nothing I want more than to have him in my arms and to cry away all my troubles, to tell him that everything was okay?

But nothing was okay, because everything I do has an impact on Taehyung's entire future, and I can't ruin everything he worked so hard for by telling him that his – our – child is inside my house, doing his homework.

"I'm so sorry, Taehyungie."

"Chae-ah. What are you hiding from me? I... Okay. If we can't get inside your house, then will you come outside with me somewhere so that we can talk?"

"Taehyungie, please don't do this..."

There's a certain dullness in his eyes that has been there even when I first looked at his eyes moments ago, but the level of darkness that there is at the current moment makes it a little scary for me, scared about making it worse, about...

"I... Okay. Please give me a minute, and then I'll step outside."

"Okay." Taehyung says, and he takes a step back before he pulls his scarf up to his nose again.

With my heart racing a mile a minute, I step inside, and Jaehyung looks confused when I grab my laptop and earphones before I run upstairs. I take a glance at myself in the mirror, and I look absolutely ridiculous but I couldn't care about that; Taehyung has already seen me looking like this, anyways.

After three soft knocks on Chaeyoung's door, it opens to reveal my sister looking absolutely tired, and it's obvious that she had been resting before I knocked.

"I'm so sorry to disturb your rest, Chae-ah, but can you keep an eye on Jaehyung while I step outside for a bit?"

"It's fine, Chaeyeon-ah. Emergency at the museum?" My sister wants to know as she follows me down the stairs.

"No. I... Don't tell Jae, but Taehyung's outside and he's... Being stubborn."

"Wait, what-"

"I'll... I'll talk later, but for now, look after Jaehyung for a bit for me, please."

Chaeyoung's eyes are wide while she nods, and she follows me up till the hallway. She looks hesitant, and from the living room, I can see Jaehyung's confused eyes on us but he doesn't say anything, and I'm thankful for the child.

"Don't lie, Chaeyeon-ah. I think you should stop lying."

"I don't have a choice, Chaeyoung-ah." I mumble, putting my shoes on before I step outside.

Taehyung is making a circle on the soil when I get out, eyes going back at me before he nods a little and motions for me to follow him. There's a silver car parked outside that looks too expensive to belong to any of my neighbors, and that's where Taehyung heads to, opening the door while I feel absolutely uncomfortable at where this was heading.

The car ride is quiet and it's ironic, how Taehyung takes me to children's park a couple blocks away from the café I'd worked at during my senior year at college. He says something inaudible to me to the driver, and the man leaves, and I find myself seated beside the love of my life on a windy Wednesday night at a park.

It's silent for a couple moments before Taehyung picks his smartphone, handing it to me after he opens up the contacts application.

"You changed your number. Give me your new one."

"Taehyung-ah, I-"

"You, Chaeyeon-ah, of all people. You changed your contacts. You deactivated all of your social media I could contact you with. You split up with me after the many years we invested into being together, and if you tell me there is no valid reason for that, I wouldn't believe you."

Silence.

"Would you believe me if I did the same? Well, it's different since I'm a public figure, but if I wasn't, and I just vanished, wouldn't you have enough trust in me to know that I would have a very big reason for that? Would you, Chaeyeon-ah?" He continues to nudge me, and I finally shake my head, frowning while trying my hardest not to cry.

"It's the same with you. I trust you. But if you don't tell me why, then I'm going to assume the worst, because that's the way that I am... Did you... Did you cheat... on me?"

"I can't even blame you for thinking that, Taehyung-ah... But no, I didn't. I can give you my life to promise you that."

"Then why were you with a child, at a preschool?"

My blood freezes at that, and I can only pray that he didn't see Jaehyung's face because it's not hard to miss, the alikeness the two share.

"I... I have my reasons, Taehyungie."

"Isn't this reason enough? Isn't the fact that after all these years, I don't want anyone but you, a reason enough for you to tell me your own reason? What do you need in return, for you to finally be honest with me? How long do I have to wait-"

"One more year."

Taehyung tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at me, startled at my interruption.

"One... year..."

"Ten months, to be exact. I need time."

"I think I've given you enough time, but... Why ten months?"

I wondered how I could tell Taehyung that Jaehyung's birthday was in ten months, how I couldn't trust myself enough to be able to tell him about his child just yet, not when I still can't fathom the fact myself. How could I tell him about how Jimin was helping out, how he knew and Taehyung didn't?

"I can't tell you these things, Taetae." I say. Taehyung's expression softens when I use the old nickname, and I can see his frame going a little less stiff after that, as he breathes out. "I want to tell you so bad, but I don't want to ruin your future."

"My future is pretty much ruined if you aren't in it."

"Taehyung-ah, I'm referring to your career."

"That doesn't matter."

"It does matter." I state between gritted teeth. "How can you say it doesn't matter, when I've spent countless days crying because I can't bear to ruin your career? Are you saying all these years I've spent don't matter?"

"Chaeyeon-ah, I can't understand you when you just say things like that abstractly. You need to be more specific than that..."

It's a little quiet after he says that, and the only sound I can hear is the noise of the vehicles passing by.

The night is dark and Taehyung's eyes are darker while he faces me with an expression that tells me he's given up. What he's given up on, I don't know, and that makes it harder while he sighs loudly, running a hand through his dark hair.

"I've waited this long anyways, what's ten months? I guess I have no choice, huh? I'll wait for you." Taehyung says, standing up, hands inside his pockets. "I know you have a proper reason, so I'm hoping we can be together from that day onwards."

"You wouldn't want to be with me after I tell you." I mumble under my breath, yet, Taehyung hears me.

"There's only a couple things you could've done that would make me not want to be with you." He says, blinking while he watches me stand up. "And I trust you enough to know you wouldn't have done anything like that. At least... I really hope so."

The tears welling in my eyes finally stream down when Taehyung presses his lips against my forehead and wishes me a good night. And then he walks away to where his car is waiting for him, and the entire park falls all silent again while my heart continues to cry.

4

He doesn't question it.

Jaehyung does not question my odd behavior on the day Taehyung had paid a visit. Instead, he takes a deep interest in drawing, asking for more sketchpads.

It's a Sunday morning when he wants to know if he can ask for a gift for Christmas.

"It's only September, but... Okay, what do you have in mind?" I ask, setting breakfast on the table.

"Yeah! What would you like this year, Jae-ah?" Chaeyoung wants to know, eyes on the little boy who takes out the stack of textbooks from the cabinet and brings it to his chair like usual.

"It's... It's a bit expensive."

"That's what Christmas is for! Tell me, maybe I can- I mean, Santa can get it for you!" Chaeyoung says with a big smile, as she spreads butter on her toast.

Jaehyung takes a cautious glance at me, and I give him a nod which makes him clam down a little.

"I want to ask for a camera, if that's okay with you."

There's silence at the table for a while as Chaeyoung and I exchange looks, and Jaehyung's eyes are wide while he fumbles with his fingers.

"I... I don't need a very fancy one. It doesn't need to be so expensive, really... I just... Want a camera I can take pictures with."

"Alright. Okay. I'll get you a camera. But why are you asking for one, suddenly?"

"Did you start studying something like photography at school?" Chaeyoung wants to know, and Jaehyung shakes his head.

"I... Because Eomma..."

"Me?"

Chaeyoung's eyes are wide, and I'm not sure if it is so because she still can't get over the fact that I don't mind the child calling me Eomma, or the fact that Jaehyung's reason is me.

"It's because Eomma told me. That Appa likes to take pictures."

It's difficult to express the feelings I felt at that, because my heart feels warm at the sincere thought the boy had, and the amount of innocence in Jaehyung's eyes makes me have to turn around with the excuse of taking more toast for the table.

"Your... Jae-ah, your Appa likes taking pictures?"

"Yeah, Chaeyoung-noona! Eomma told me he likes drawing and video games and strawberries and songs too! I like all of those, Appa is a lot like me! So I want a camera to see if I like doing that too, and check if I have that in common with Appa as well."

"I love you, Jae-ah." Chaeyoung says out of the blue, and when I turn around to see my sister, she is teary-eyed while she smiles at the boy.

"I love you too, Noona!" Jaehyung smiles back, and I have to keep the pan away and head back upstairs, to my room.

"Chae-ah? Where are you going?"

"I'll be back in a minute." I call, heading straight to my cupboard and pulling out one of the drawers. If I recall correctly, I had placed it somewhere around here...

"Found it!" I reach for the small camera, still safe in its small bag, and hurry downstairs.

"Chae-ah?"

Waving the camera in hand, I appear in front of the two seated at the table. When Jae spots the camera in my hand, his eyes go wide, blinking multiple times before he reaches and takes the device in his clutches.

"This is?"

"That's my old camera. Oh wait, give it back for a second." I say, remembering that the memory card holds pictures of Taehyung himself. "There. It's been used a bit because Appa got it as a birthday present for me, hoping I'd like to take pictures like he did... We were different, I guess, I wasn't as passionate as he was."

Jaehyung looks at in awe while I tell him this, and Chaeyoung's eyes are wide as well, it's hard to tell whose eyes are bigger at that second. And it's amusing and makes me smile a little, and Jaehyung puts the camera aside carefully before he faces me again.

"I can't wait to start taking pictures."

"Yeah, now you can use that one until we get you a new one for Christm-"

"I'm fine with this. This is the best camera I can ever have." Jaehyung says, smiling at the camera with a fond look while I put the memory card inside my jeans pocket. "I don't want a new one. I want this."

"We can buy a memory card when we come back home from school tomorrow." I say, trying to control the overwhelming emotions that take over my head.

"Thank you so much, Eomma. I love you."

Jaehyung eats his food with a big smile even though I can't exactly reply to his words.

>

The first picture that Jaehyung takes is a snapshot of me.

He waits until I am seated at a bench at the park a few blocks away from his school, and then he takes a picture of me.

"What are you doing?!"

"Eomma, can I leave my schoolbag here?" He asks, taking the bag off and placing it beside me on the bench. Before I can say anything else, he runs towards the big oak tree at the center of the park.

He spends the day at the park, turning to take pictures of the sky when the sun begins to set.

"Sunrises would look nice too." I say, holding the boy's bag while he goes through the collection of pictures he'd taken for the day.

"Can we go and see the sunrise one day?"

"Yeah, sure."

Jaehyung beams, showing me the screen of his device, and I see that it's the picture he'd snapped of me at first.

"Why did you take my picture?"

"Because you're my Eomma. What else can I take a picture of, first?"

I don't know what kind of education he's receiving at his school, or if it's just a talent he's born with, but Kim Jaehyung is really good with words, enough to make me, a language major, myself, feel jealous. I have nothing to say in response while we continue to walk back home.

"Eomma, I have another question to ask, about Appa. If you can answer..."

"What is it?"

"What kind of pictures does Appa like to take?"

It takes me a moment to think about the kind of pictures Taehyung posts on Twitter, and a smile forms on my face as I recall the many times we had been on dates and he would peek his phone out to take a snap of the sky.

"I think he likes to take aesthetic pictures with his friends."

"Aes... what?"

"Aesthetic. It means pleasing to the eye. He likes to ask his friends to pose at the center of a pretty background and he'd take their pictures."

"I hope that one day I can meet Appa."

"Do you really want to meet him?"

"Yes. Then we can share the pictures we've taken, I want to show him the things I took pictures of, today."

It's a strange feeling that settles at the pit of my stomach, and I sigh, watching Jaehyung put on his bookbag and put his camera away.

"Eomma, I have another question for you."

"About Appa?"

"No, about you."

When I raise an eyebrow, Jaehyung's hands clutch tightly to the strap of his bag, his gaze fixed on his feet.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still hate me? Or are you not angry with me now?"

I freeze at his direct question, and Jaehyung walks a couple steps before he realizes that I have stopped walking.

At this point in time, I wonder just why on Earth I was angry at the child, I think about all the days I had wasted, the two and a half years I'd missed to see him grow, and I have so many regrets, so many of them.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you didn't talk with me at first."

"I..."

"My teacher once told me that some people don't talk with us because they don't like us or is upset about something we did. My friend Minjae also didn't talk to me at first and I was sad. But then I worked really hard and tried to talk more with him and now we are really good friends." Jaehyung explains. "I thought I did something to upset you, but now you are not angry with me, that's why you talk with me now."

Poor Jaehyung. All of this was my fault, for not handling the situation better, and the poor child had to go through sad feelings like that. I could recall my mom telling me that there would be a day where I would understand, and as I watched Jaehyung's big eyes blinking up at me, I could understand exactly what she had meant.

"No. I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at myself. I was just upset with myself and I didn't know better than to take it out on you. Don't ever do something like that, okay? I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

And at that moment, I silently thank my mom, who was a blessing and didn't dare let Jaehyung go to an orphanage.

While I watch the way the kid happily puts away his shoes and runs to show Chaeyoung the pictures he took earlier, I realize that I can't imagine my life without Jaehyung, anymore.

"Jae-ah?"

"Yes?" The child pauses at the steps, turning around to face me with an expectant expression on his face – the face that looks like a miniature mirror image of Taehyung's.

"On your next birthday..." I start, and his eyes go wide at the mention, "Would you like to see your Appa?"

The camera in Jaehyung's clutches falls to the ground with a 'plop' sound, and he hurries to step down and take it quickly, sighing in relief that it was safe in its small bag. And then, he looks up at me with wider eyes than I've ever seen on the child, and his mouth is in the shape of an 'o' as he continues to blink at me in shock.

"I... I can meet Appa?"

"Would you like to?"

"Yes, I want to!" He says, and it's only then that I notice the tears welling in his eyes as he hurries near me and wraps himself around me while he lets out little sobs.

"Thank you, Eomma! You're the best- Ah!" His clinging to me is interrupted when the door to Chaeyoung's room opens, and my sister steps outside, hands on her hips.

"What's all the ruckus? What's going on, I want to cuddle too!"

"Noona! Chaeyoung-noona, Chaeyoung-noona, Chaeyoung-noona! Eomma said I can go to meet Appa on my next birthday!" He yells, racing up the stairs. Chaeyoung allows the boy to give him a big hug, and the smile she gives me while she does so is the same look she's given during my high school graduation: full of admiration, and sisterly love in a way I can never explain and can never ever forget.

When Jaehyung goes into my room to get changed, Chaeyoung comes down the stairs, wrapping her own arms around me and patting my hair softly.

"I'm so proud of you, Chaeyeon-ah. I hope everything goes well."

"Thank you, Chaeyoung-ah. Thank you for sticking by me and making sure I didn't lose sight of the most important things."

"Thank you for giving Jae a chance, I told you he's easy to love."

"He is, really. I'm glad I did, too."

We are interrupted when the door to my room flies open, and Jaehyung steps outside after changing, and he has the camera in his hand.

"Noona, do you want to see the pictures I took today?"

"You bet I do!" She responds, and in the midst of the two watching the pictures and me making dinner for them, I end up crying, but this time, my tears are the by-product of me being so happy that I can barely handle it; it's a feeling I'd missed for a long time, the feeling only one thing can give me.

Family.

arc 04

1

Winter break started right on my birthday, and after Chaeyoung and Jaehyung's unsuccessful attempt to surprise me, I had spent the first half hour of my birthday eating cake the two had prepared.

Mom comes to visit for the holidays, and she almost chokes on her slice of cake when she hears Jaehyung call me Eomma and see us converse naturally. And I can't even blame her because it's the same for me, and I still feel a little odd knowing Jaehyung and I could be even closer if I hadn't left for Japan and left him here, or at least taken him with me.

"You can't undo the past, Chaeyeon-ah," Mom reminds me, while the two of us have coffee after both Chaeyoung and Jaehyung have gone to bed one night, "But you can try and make the present and the future better."

"I'm trying my best, Mom. It really helps, that Jaehyung is well-disciplined."

"Honestly, he's calm and collected, until he talks about something he's really interested in, like his new set of acrylic colors or that new camera he's got. He told me it was a gift from Taehyung?"

"It was, yes."

"Speaking of Taehyung, when will you...?"

"Jae's birthday. I'm fine with the way things are, but he really wants to meet his Appa, and Taehyung wants to know why we split up, and there's the thing Jiminie said so I feel like his birthday is the time. I promised both Jiminie and Taehyung that I will, that day."

"It'll go well. I just know it. I trust Taehyung, and even more so with Jaehyung. So I have hope that it'll be fine."

"I... I hope it goes fine too... I hope Taehyung doesn't have to face problems because of this."

"Of course Taehyung will face problems because of this. Especially because you two aren't married, and this is Korea." Mom chuckles when she sees my face darkening at her words. "He'll face problems. But he's a man, and he's a really good man. He's a strong one. He won't let the bad take the good in things."

I hadn't seen Taehyung since the day at the park, but my love for him somehow increased so much over the time that passed.

>

"Hi, Jiminie-ah."

"Hi, Chaeyeon-ah. This is the first time you asked me for a video call. Is everything alright?"

I laugh at my friend's response, and Jimin loosens up a little when he senses nothing wrong from my expression.

"You look so much better now. So happy, too."

"I am happy, Jiminie. Thank you for calling me back."

"Of course. I'm sorry I couldn't call earlier, I was at work and- Why did you ask me to call you, Chaeyeon-ah?" Jimin asks, raising his eyebrows and resting his right cheek on his hand.

"I have three things to say."

"Yeah?"

"I want to say thank you." I say, putting on a smile and leaning my phone against the desk, "Thank you for being my friend even when I did something so mean to your best friend."

Jimin sits up straight at my words, eyes going a little bigger at the topic I brought up.

"I'm thankful for all the encouraging words you said, I'm grateful that you forced me to agree to tell Taehyung everything on Jae's fourth birthday, because I think I'll be completely ready to tell him by then."

"Chaeyeon-ah..."

"I'm grateful for you for looking over Jae all this time, for continuing to fund for Jae even though I am here and well now, even though I asked you not to... Thank you for treating him well like your own, and for loving my sister the way you do."

Jimin looks all choked up at my words, face flushing a little red when I mention the last part.

"I did nothing! I don't know what you're talking about!" Jimin says, the screen going black and I laugh because I can tell he needs some time to compose himself, so I wait until he lifts his phone up again and looks at me.

"I'm so grateful for you, Park Jiminie-ah. Thank you for being such a close friend, thank you for being such a good uncle to Jaehyung, and thank you for being such a wonderful boyfriend for Chaeyoung."

"How long have you known about this, oh my God. This is embarrassing. I didn't mean to not tell you, but... aargh this is embarrassing."

"I'm the sister, so of course I'd find out." I giggle, and Jimin sighs, chuckling a little before he nods.

"You're welcome, Chaeyeon-ah. I didn't do all these because I'm nice. All my feelings are genuine. What's the next thing you wanted to tell?"

It makes me a little nervous, sighing a little before I ask if Taehyung is around.

Jimin's eyes go wide at that, head tilting to the left before he focuses his look at the screen again.

"He's in the next room. Probably reading some manhwa."

"Can you let me speak to him a little?"

My sentence is not even halfway finished when Jimin gets up on his feet, dashing out to the lobby of the hotel they're staying at and then I hear muffled noises while he covers the screen for a little.

And then, the screen is uncovered, and he has no makeup on, but Kim Taehyung smiles at the screen and he's so beautiful that I can barely get myself to say hello.

"Chaeyeon-ah... Hi."

"Hi, Taehyungie. Happy birthday."

Taehyung's smile goes wider and I see his teeth as he gives his infamous boxy smile at me as he mumbles a little 'thank you'.

"This means a lot to me, honestly. I didn't expect this at all," Taehyung speaks, "I sent you a letter for your birthday but I don't think it reached you on time."

"I received it. And I wanted to wait till today to say thank you."

"God. I love you so much, Chaeyeon-ah. It isn't fair."

I'm thinking of what to say in response when I hear the front door opening. Jaehyung must be home with Chaeyoung after their outing to the beach, and I turn back to the screen.

"I... I have to go. I have to go, but I promise I'll talk with you soon."

"I'll wait for you."

"And... Jimin has my number. You can... yeah."

"I'll do that, Chaeyeon-ah."

I hear the noise of Jaehyung's footsteps on the staircase, and I give an awkward wave at the screen, mumbling a low 'goodbye' before I can hang up the phone right before the boy opens the door.

My heart doesn't stop racing even after dinner and Jaehyung is all tucked in bed.

A text arrives at my phone, and all it says is 'hi', but it makes me smile, knowing who it was from. And that gives me an idea as I glance at Jaehyung who is reading a storybook.

"Jae-ah?"

"Yes, Eomma?" He asks, putting the book down and turning to look at me.

"Come here for a bit."

Jaehyung looks a little surprised, but puts his book on the blanket before he walks to my bed and then gets up onto the duvet.

"What's wrong, Eomma?"

"Nothing is wrong. Do you know what day it is?"

"It's December... 30th?"

My hands are trembling a little as I put my smartphone down and look at the child wearing banana print pajamas matching my own, and my heart almost gives out before I can finally say the words out.

"Today is your Appa's birthday."

"Oh....?" There's a look of confusion on his face as he squints is eyes.

"Today is the birthday of your Appa. Can you run and bring me my laptop so I can show you a picture of him from one of his birthdays from before?"

Jaehyung has never moved as fast as he did then, dashing towards my desk and taking the laptop, and I when I connect the memory card that was previously in the camera Jaehyung owns now, my hands begin to tremble in excitement.

I press the first picture that was in the camera roll, and my heart is so full as I see the picture Taehyung had captured of the two of us.

Taehyung is making his infamous peace sign, hand against his face while he smiles and holds the camera. And we both have barely any makeup on, looking slightly grubby in our oversized clothing and hoodies while we tried to blend with the rest of the people at the café we were at... But we both had been smiling so brightly as if nothing else mattered, and while I watch Jaehyung's eyes widen while he looks at the picture on display, I can tell that nothing else mattered for him, as well.

"Appa..."

"Your Appa is called Kim Taehyung. He's a member of BTS." I say quietly, and Jaehyung extends a hand out, hand resting against the screen where Taehyung's face is smiling at. He takes a couple more moments to study the picture with a shocked expression on his face, and then he turns to face me with big blinking eyes.

"That is Appa?"

"Yes. So yes, Jimin knows your Appa."

"Jimin-hyungnim... Taehyung-hyungnim is not my hyungnim, but he's my Appa?"

I give a nod, ruffling Jaehyung's dark hair as he looks at me with his lips pursed a little. "Yes. Do you understand me a little, Jae-ah? This is why I can't really talk about this, this is why I can't let you meet your Appa just yet, because he's famous and busy all the time and we can't ruin his career."

"Why would my presence ruin Appa's career?"

"Because his fans might get upset."

"Because they don't like me?" Jaehyung queries, and that's a difficult question to respond to because the actual answer could be yes, but I couldn't tell him that.

"Because they don't know you, and you appeared out of nowhere."

"I didn't appear out of nowhere, I was always here." Jaehyung mumbles softly. I can tell from the way his eyes head down to his fingers which he was fumbling with, that he was a little upset.

"Yeah. It's going to take some time. But I want you to be happy because your Appa is a wonderful person and he's going to love you. You want to meet Appa and show him the pictures you took, don't you?"

Jaehyung looks up from his fingers, glancing at me before he turns to look at the picture once again, and a small smile forms on his face when he presses the right arrow and finds another picture of Taehyung laughing, which I had captured.

"Appa and I have alike names. I really like Appa. He invented Tata." Jaehyung says, pointing at his plushie resting on his duvet.

"Yes, Appa is a nice person. And I want you to be happy about knowing who your Appa is, because I'm excited for your birthday when you can finally meet him."

"I'm excited too, Eomma. Oh... Today really is Appa's birthday, I saw those billboard adverts when I was out today even!"

"Yes, Jae-ah. It is Appa's birthday."

"Can I make a birthday card for Appa?" He wants to know.

"Go ahead."

Jaehyung gets off from my bed, putting away my laptop and then taking out his coloring box and markers. When I tell him not to stay up for long, he tells me he won't, even though I know he would.

The next morning, when I wake up, there's a small envelope with the words 'For my Appa', resting on the desk beside my laptop.

>

As the days passed on, Jaehyung spends more time writing, rather than anything else. By mid-April and for his new school year to start, he has twelve letters written out in careful Hangul.

"When I get to meet Appa, I can give these to him." Jaehyung says, as he puts down another letter into the small drawer under the desk. "I didn't write every day because Appa is a celebrity and he must be very busy all the time."

"That's very thoughtful of you."

"Noona is out with Jimin-hyungnim, I wonder if Appa has an off day today, too."

"I bet he does, too."

"Eomma, do you talk to Appa?"

The question sounds too delicate to answer, because I do converse with Taehyung occasionally via texts, but I couldn't get myself to do another video call, much less a voice call, since his birthday. Perhaps it was the overwhelming feelings that I had on his birthday that got me the guts to call him then, but Taehyung sounds fine over text as well, not prying into my life even though he mentions that he has a countdown going on for June.

And when he asked if there was an exact date and I told him it was the 10th, he doesn't question it.

He doesn't question it, but instead, he simply tells me that he will wait.

"Sometimes. I think I can talk better with him after he meets you." I let him know, and the boy gives me an understanding nod. "Since Chaeyoung is out, do you want to go out and eat somewhere, today?"

"Yeah! Can I bring my camera along?"

Jaehyung is fast to run upstairs to pick his camera when I nod, and the day is windy while the two of us make our way out to one of our mutual favorite restaurants that serve spicy ramyeon.

That's a point where Jaehyung is different from his father and alike me; Taehyung couldn't handle too much spicy food, unlike the two of us.

The meal is over before long, and I follow Jaehyung as we make our way out of the restaurant. It's when he stops and steps aside, that I look at him in confusion, and he mumbles something under his breath which makes me have to ask him to repeat himself.

"You go first, Eomma."

It's a tiny action, but it makes my heart feel warm in ways I can't express even if I tried to, and when we step outside onto the street, Jaehyung holds onto the corner of my coat and gives me a satisfied smile.

It makes me pull his clutch from my coat away, and when I take hold of his hand instead, Jaehyung's big eyes go a little wide, and he continues to watch me until we head back home.

The day is warm and the air-conditioning unit is on low while Jaehyung tucks himself to bed and says the two sentences he never fails to repeat every night.

"Goodnight, Eomma. I love you."

2

There's a cake on the counter, decorated with four green candles when Jaehyung steps downstairs, and he has a big grin on his face while he watches me and Chaeyoung clap our hands and sing him the birthday song.

And he's a bit teary-eyed while he blows the candles and looks at us with a wide smile, the sounds of laughter filling the living room while we eat cake.

While Chaeyoung brings out her present for the boy, I head upstairs to get ready for bed. There's a message waiting for me, and it's from Taehyung, and it sends chills down my spine in positive excitement.

'It's the 10th of June.'

'Can you pay me a visit tomorrow evening?'

It takes a while before I receive a reply.

'Where? At your house?'

'Yes.'

'Alright. I talked to our manager and he says he can free it for me. I did ask for a leave for this date so I'm pretty sure I can go.'

Before I can respond, Jaehyung knocks on the door before he opens it, entering the room with a box of watercolors and a big smile on his features as he walks in. When I put my phone down and turn to face him, he puts his present on the desk and looks at me with his face filled with anticipation.

"It's my birthday, Eomma."

"Yes, it is. Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"Yes, I am!" Jaehyung exclaims, pulling out the small stack of letters he's written for Taehyung. "I have some things I painted and drew, too! Do you think Appa will like them?"

"I'm sure Appa will love them. Now hurry, get dressed and get on your bed. It's time to sleep."

Jaehyung nods, putting the stack back in the desk drawer, and he hurries to brush his teeth before he gets back on his bed.

"Eomma?"

"Yeah?"

"No wonder Chaeyoung-noona got me a Tata plushie."

>

Jaehyung's birthday is a windy Thursday, and the museum gives me the day off after lunch break on occasion of the child's birthday. After he finishes school, we walk back home with takeout, and Jaehyung gives me a knowing look when we finish dinner and he still hasn't met his father.

"When?" He finally asks, and it's 7pm and Chaeyoung has long ago retired to her room to finish some work from the hospital.

"I have a lot of things to talk with your Appa before I can let you meet him," I let him know, when I see Taehyung's text that he was in his car on his way here, "So I want you to be patient and wait with Chaeyoung-noona until I call you. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes, okay Eomma. Can I borrow your laptop to pick out some pictures for Appa, meanwhile?"

"Sure."

Jaehyung gives an affirmative nod before he takes my laptop and hurries to dash to Chaeyoung's room.

"Jae-ah?"

"Yes, Eomma?" He asks, hugging my laptop in his clutches as he turns to look at me.

"I love you."

It takes a moment for my words to sink in, and I notice the way my laptop shakes in his clutches as he scrunches his face and walks up to me, looking up at me with a tearful expression before he wraps one hand around me.

"I love you too, Eomma. That's the first time you told me that. Thank you. This is already the best birthday of mine." He says, wiping his face while I ruffle his hair and give him a smile.

"Now go ahead," I say, hearing the knock at the front door. "And keep your promise, no coming out of Chaeyoung's room until I say so. No peeking."

"Okay, Eomma." He says, and then he goes inside my sister's room while I sigh and make my way down the stairs.

My hands are shaking as I open the door, and I can barely hold myself upright while I take in Taehyung looking at me, a scarf around the bottom half of his face like the last time. And he looks so, so beautiful, and he looks so, so much like Jaehyung that my legs feel like jelly when I step aside and allow the man to enter.

Taehyung nods, taking off his shoes and leaving them at the cabinet, and his coat makes a squeaky noise when he bends down and stands upright, eyes never leaving me as he follows me out to the living room. He waits cautiously till I motion for him to take a seat at the couch, and then he takes off his coat and sits down, brown sweatpants paired with his cream sweater making me feel so overwhelmed that I have to excuse myself to bring him something to drink.

"I'm fine, you don't need to bring me anything, Chaeyeon-ah, just sit here with me."

"I... I intend to keep you here for a while tonight, so... please wait." I say, and then I head to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and pulling out the jug of vanilla bean latte that I had made earlier. And while I pour the drink into two mugs and bring them out to the living room, I am reminded time and again about how much Taehyung had in common with Jaehyung – the two even shared their favorite drinks.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Yeah, your favorite." I let him know, and Taehyung smiles, accepting the mug and taking a sip.

It's silent for a couple moments after that, the two of us not really looking at each other or speaking, instead taking small sips from our mugs. And when Taehyung slightly loses his stiffness and shifts himself so that he is facing me, I know exactly what he wants to say.

"I'm here to listen. Tell me."

My hands are shaking as I put the mug on the coffee table and turn to face the man, and by God, Taehyung looks so beautiful that it's hard to keep eye contact with him for too long, and I have to look at his arms which he has crossed over his chest while he leans against the couch.

"Remember how I told you that I had to leave you because I didn't want to ruin your career?"

"I didn't come here for you to repeat the same things over again, Chaeyeon-ah."

"Please just listen to me, Taehyungie." I say, and my heart hurts a little while I look at his face, his dark hair growing out up to the base of his neck, and he looks so wonderful while he looks slightly confused at my words. "It's been almost five years, four of which I knew I had to tell you this, but it's so hard for me. I want you to try and understand me."

"Okay. I'm listening, Chaeyeon-ah." Taehyung says, and he uncrosses his arms, offering his hands out towards me. My heart is racing while I put my hands in his, and the way he inches a little closer to me and waits for me to speak makes it hard to say anything, much less think straight.

"How do I begin to explain everything to you, Taetae-ah? I've been thinking that I can hide this from you for the rest of our lives, that we can be together in our next life, even though we couldn't be in this..." I say, and Taehyung tenses a little, eyebrows furrowing as I continue, "I didn't want to ruin your career that you worked so hard for, because we live in Korea and your fans always get riled up even when something as simple as a dating rumor arises."

"Our fans did have suspicions that I was dating someone, but no one really found out that it was you that I was dating... How does this relate to your reason?"

"Taehyungie, for the past four years, I've been, kind of... I've been raising a child."

Taehyung's grip on my hand tightens, and it's painful enough that I can sense my hands bruising, his grip is that tight while his eyes go wide.

"W-What?! Chaeyeon-ah, you told me you didn't cheat on m-"

"I didn't cheat on you, Taehyung-ah."

"You... You got married after you dumped me?"

"Dumped is a harsh word..." I say, looking away from his all scrunched up face and trying to break free from his grip. Taehyung, sensing this, grips tighter, and when I look at his face again, I can see his eyes clouding a little.

"That's what you did."

"Taehyung-ah, I didn't get married. But yes, I'm raising my child."

"So that kid was yours... God, Chaeyeon-ah, you got a child out of wedlock?"

"We got a child out of wedlock, Taehyung-ah. We. You and I."

It feels like a very heavy burden had been lifted off from my chest when I finally say this, and I can look at Taehyung in the eyes as his eyes light up again, widening as he blinks rapidly and I can feel his hands trembling while his lips part a little. I have a million thoughts running through my head, one of it being why on Earth I'd waited this long to finally tell the love of my life that we had a wonderful child together.

"W-What are y-you saying....?" He stutters, and I have never, ever seen Taehyung's eyes so wide before in the seven or so years I'd known him. It's comforting, the way I can smile and pat his hair while he begins to shake underneath my touch.

"Would you like to meet him?"

"I have a child?! That too, a boy?" Taehyung yells, and I press a finger to my lips, hushing him a little. This only makes Taehyung's eyes widen even more as he glances towards the staircase, then back at me again. "He... He's here?"

"Of course he's here, he's my child after all."

"How can I be... sure that he really is my child...?"

It's a question I had surely expected, but it still makes my heart hurt a little, anyways.

"You just need to give him one look. It's hard to miss... Anyone who knows you can tell that he's your child."

"Chaeyeon-ah, how could you not tell me something as important as this by just- I want to see him!" Taehyung gets up, and even though he looks excited, I can still feel him trembling a little, the shock too sudden for him.

"Please calm down first, he's upstairs so you can meet him. But calm down first and talk with me before you meet him. It's his birthday today, and we don't want to shock him too much, do we?"

"Oh my God. It's his birthday today?" Taehyung slips back down on the couch, eyes wavering as he looks at my face, at my hands, before he shakes his head in frustration. "How could you hide something like this from me?"

"Please understand where I am coming from, Taehyungie. I barely started my senior year at college when I found out, it was my most important year. It was an important year for you, too, because that was when you guys released Wings, and you were so busy with your world tour and you guys were finally getting the acknowledgement that you deserved."

"Chaeyeon-ah, what-"

"And you got nominated for a Billboard award too. For the first time. If people found out you were dating me, and then found out that I was pregnant on top of that, it would have ruined your entire career, Taehyungie. You worked so many years for that, and I-"

"It doesn't matter to me. I would choose my child over my career-"

"And that's exactly why I had to break up with you, Taehyung-ah. Because I knew you loved me so much, I knew you would choose me and our child over your career, but don't you understand? You aren't on your own, your actions reflect all six of the other members of Bangtan."

Taehyung stays silent after I say that, eyes on his shoes while he has a big frown on his face. Tears begin to stream down his face and it's a difficult sight to see, such a beautiful and handsome man crying so much.

"I... How can I ruin seven lives just like that? And it's not only seven, what about all the hard work all your managers and Bang-pdnim had put on you? It was the best this way, Taehyungie, I didn't want to tell you about this, ever. I wanted to live like this for as long as Bangtan goes on, if not, longer..."

"How did Jiminie find out?"

"He visited me at work and he found out. I had to beg him not to tell you, even though he wanted me to."

Taehyung grits his teeth together, and I can see anger bubbling up in his eyes as he speaks. "Jimin didn't tell me even though he knew something like this?"

"Don't get angry with Jiminie, Taetae-ah... I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Jiminie. He told me that he understood where I was coming from, but he gave me a deadline... Today."

"Today?"

"He told me that he didn't want to hide something as major as this from you, but he will wait till the fourth birthday of our child so that I can tell you this myself... Like I'm doing right now."

By the end of my sentence, Taehyung wipes his face clear from the tears, and his eyes are reddened as he looks at me and tries to compose himself.

"And like I said, I wouldn't be here if Jimin wasn't here for me. He supported me and didn't tell me I was bad for taking this decision. I know it's bad, but I needed someone to understand why I was doing what I did."

"I'm not angry at you for what happened, I'm so upset that I didn't know I have a child until so many years passed... I wish you told me, I wish Jiminie told me, I wish..."

"After Jiminie did that, and even when I left for my Master's degree, he continued funding for our child even when I told him it was fine, he did that even when I came back two years later and got a job even. Jimin said it was his responsibility because he was your best friend, and... And... Taehyungie," I say, my voice breaking a little, "Jae-ah has grown up to be such a wonderful little boy, just like you."

"J-Jae?"

"Kim Jaehyung."

Taehyung's a man and he has ego and he tries his best not to cry unless he has to, but it seemed like right now, he couldn't handle the overwhelming feelings he was feeling then, and he breaks out crying, not quietening down even when I wrap my arms around him.

"I'm so glad you're not leaving, I don't want you to do anything or change anything. I'm just glad you're not angry, I'm glad you're staying, Taehyung-ah."

"I want to meet him." Taehyung mumbles, blinking up at me while I wipe his face and rest my hand against his chin. "God, you must have been suffering a lot by yourself, haven't you? You must be so angry with me, you... Oh God, Chaeyeon-ah, how did... I'm the worst father."

Running my hands through his hair, I hush the man, and I feel overwhelmed as I ask him to follow me upstairs. And it feels like the first time that Taehyung holds my hand, but he's done that so many times and yet I'm so nervous while we walk upstairs and he enters my room.

"This here," I say, pointing at Jaehyung's bed, "Is where he sleeps. We share this room."

Taehyung's gaze follows to where I point at, and I feel his eyes softening when he sees the sole Tata plushie sitting by Jaehyung's pillows.

"He's got Tata even..."

"And, he also makes his bed every day."

"Unlike me." Taehyung jokes, and I laugh, feeling a little better to see him loosening up a little. And yet, when I ask him to take a seat at my bed and wait while I get Jaehyung, I can feel him tensing up again.

"Where is he at?"

"He's with Chaeyoung. I'll bring him."

"I haven't met Chaeyoung in ages, too..." I hear him say, and I give him a nod before I step outside to the hallway and walk towards Chaeyoung's room. My heart is racing as I open the door, and Jaehyung is seated at the desk, using my laptop while Chaeyoung is sprawled on her bed with her own laptop.

"Chae-ah?"

I glance at Jaehyung, whose big eyes blink continuously, waiting for me to speak. Instead, I step inside, sitting on Chaeyoung's bed and my sister sits up and looks at me.

"What is it?"

"He's... In my room. Chae-ah, can you give me a few minutes with Jae, and go say hello to Taehyungie?" I ask. Chaeyoung nods, closing the lid of her laptop and sitting up instantly.

"I was hoping I could meet him for a bit." She says, and then she leaves the room, and I can see Jaehyung's eyes on me.

"Ready to meet Appa?"

"I have a pen drive of pictures I took, for Appa." He says, closing the lid of my laptop and getting off the chair. "Eomma, I don't need the books on the chair at the kitchen anymore, right? I'm four now."

"Yeah, you don't. You're a big boy now, right?" I say, and Jaehyung nods, reaching his hand out towards me and I take it. And it makes me so nervous while I hold onto my laptop with one hand and to my child's hand with my other as we step outside my sister's room. My hands are trembling when Chaeyoung steps outside, and it makes me feel a little better that Jaehyung looks as nervous as me and that I'm not the only one.

Taehyung's eyes are wide and set on the two of us as we both step inside. It's amusing to some extent, the way I let go of Jaehyung's hand, and the boy quietly walks to the desk and puts the pen drive and his camera safely on the desk, eyes never leaving Taehyung as he does so. When I put my laptop away, Taehyung motions for Jaehyung to come over near him, and the boy glances at me before he walks towards him quietly.

"Hi," Taehyung speaks first, sitting down on the floor to reach up to eye-level with the little boy, "My name is Kim Taehyung. What's yours?"

"Jaehyung. I'm Kim Jaehyung, and I'm four years old."

Taehyung smiles so widely at that, his hands reaching to hold onto both of Jaehyung's shoulders, and it looks like he's at a loss of words, unable to notice when I sit down at Jaehyung's neatly-made bed.

"Eomma told me that you're my Appa." Jaehyung mumbles, and he has such a beautiful smile on his face that is like a mirror-image of Taehyung's at that same moment, and perhaps he felt the same thing too, because Taehyung nods, showing his teeth as he grins.

"Yeah. I'm your Appa." Taehyung says, and then he wraps his arms around Jaehyung, pulling him into a tight hug which the child instantly reciprocates, their sobs simultaneous in unison and it makes the tears welling in my own eyes to stream down as well.

It's after a few more moments when the two calm down, and Jaehyung is the first one to do so, breaking away from their hug before he speaks. "Appa, I have something for you."

"Yeah?"

Jaehyung walks towards the desk where I am seated at, beaming at me while he opens the drawer and pulls out the letters and his sketchbook, then picking up his pen drive before he walks towards Taehyung again.

"I made these for you, Appa."

"Oh? What are these?" Taehyung asks, taking the letters in hand and taking a glance at the sketch pad.

"Those are letters I started to write for you."

"You wrote me letters? I'm very touched... I didn't write anything for you, though." Taehyung says, his face falling a little as he glances at me, then at Jaehyung.

"It's okay. Even I was able to start writing and drawing things for you because Eomma told me who you are."

"Yeah?" Taehyung says, and his phone begins to buzz while I search for a bag to put the things Jaehyung had given. "Looks like I have to go for today, even though I really want to stay for longer and talk to you all night, Jaehyung-ah."

"It's okay. I know you're busy, Appa."

"Jaehyung-ah, I love when you call me Appa."

"That's because you are my Appa, after all." Jaehyung states. Taehyung exchanges a glance with me as he chuckles in his deep baritone, accepting the bag I hand and putting everything Jaehyung had given to him inside the bag.

"I'm going to have to go home right now, but as soon as I do, I will read all these." Taehyung says, lifting the bag a little, and the child smiles at him proudly. "Is there a reason you gave me a sketchbook too?"

"Eomma told me that you like to draw. And that you also like to take pictures. I used the camera you gave Eomma and took some pictures. They're in the pen drive I gave."

Taehyung looks like he is trying his hardest not to cry while he gives a nod, ruffling Jaehyung's hair before pulling the child towards him into an embrace again.

"You think I can take him out for ice cream tomorrow evening?" Taehyung asks me, and Jaehyung looks at me with wide eyes in anticipation as well.

"I don't see why not." I say, and the way the two cheer and exchange a high-five is so natural that it's painful in a way that I can't even mind at all.

"Jae-ah, say goodbye to Appa for now and get ready for bed, okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight Appa. Will I see you tomorrow?" Jaehyung asks, and Taehyung nods, giving the child another hug, before he stands up.

"Of course. See you later, Jae-ah."

"Bye bye, Appa."

"Oh my God. I love that so much." Taehyung tells me, watching the way the boy heads to the washroom to get ready for bed.

"Which part?" I ask, while he follows me down the stairs.

"Every part. Especially the part where he calls me Appa." Taehyung tells me, handing me the bag while he puts his shoes on. "He looks like me, Chaeyeon-ah. He even has those three moles on his face just like I do!"

"So you noticed, too?"

"You were right, Chaeyeon-ah. There's no doubt that Jae-ah is our child... What do you want me to do about this? Because I want to tell the world that I have the most wonderful child on the planet, but I understand where you're coming from, too."

I don't know how to respond to that, handing the bag to Taehyung as we step outside to the porch.

"Only Jiminie knows about Jae, right? Hoseokie-hyung and the others don't know?"

"Yeah."

"I will talk to them. I will talk to Pd-nim, I'll tell them. And after a while, after I hang out with Jae more, I'll hold a press conference. I intend to take Jae out to a lot of places, because I've missed out a lot of years of his life, and we are bound to be spotted by our fans. I don't want the public to manipulate what they see and write something bad, it's better I tell them myself."

"But Taehyungie..."

"Trust me." Taehyung says, his eyes on the bag in his clutches. "This is the best for me, and I want you to trust me, the way I've trusted in you for all these years. Can't you give me that much credit?"

"I... I trust you, Taetae-ah... But..."

"Please just rest for now, Chaeyeon-ah. Thank you for letting me meet Jaehyungie who is just like me in so many ways. I'm so glad you listened to Jiminie. Now, listen to me, and get some rest, and trust me."

"Okay."

"I love you." He says, one hand pressed against my cheek before he presses a soft kiss to my lips. "Are we okay, now?"

"As long as you're okay with this."

"I am more than okay with this. I hope you understand that this is my dream, and I get to live it because of you."

"I love you too, Taehyung-ah."

The male in front of me smiles, closing his eyes when I press my lips against his cheek. And then, he gets on the car that's waiting for him, waving until the car leaves the neighborhood, and I don't recall a time before where I felt so whole, before.

"Eomma?"

"Yes?" I ask, glancing at Jaehyung who stands at the top of the staircase when I get back inside the house.

"I really like Appa."

"Appa really likes you too." I say, and Jaehyung follows me inside our room, closing the door while I sit down on my bed. "He told me he loves it when you call him Appa."

"He is my Appa. That's why. And I can't wait to go for ice cream with Appa tomorrow."

"Well then, you should try to sleep so that you can wake up quickly, tomorrow, right? Appa is going to fetch you from school, after all."

"This is the best birthday ever. Thank you Eomma."

"This is the best day ever for me too, Jae-ah."

3

Jaehyung arrives from school the next evening with two more things in addition to a big smile and his father.

He has a plastic bag holding a graphics tablet and a smart phone.

"Taehyung-ah, what are you doing?!" I cry, after the child goes upstairs to get changed and ready for dinner. "You can't just buy expensive stuff like that out of the blue and spoil the child, because you're rich! I don't want Jaehyung's personality to change, he's really good as he is."

"Chaeyeon-ah, I'm not doing this to spoil him. The graphics tablet is my birthday present for him, because he's done some amazing sketches in that book he gave me last night." Taehyung explains, taking a sip from the glass of water in front of him. "And I got him a phone because I want to talk to my kid, okay? I may be busy a lot of the time, but when I'm free, I want to be able to contact both you and Jae. I'm not going to spoil him, trust me with this."

I sigh, closing my eyes as I sink into the chair beside Taehyung's. "So? Did you talk to the members?"

"I had a meeting with the members, yes. They were surprised, all except Jiminie, of course."

"Oh, God."

"For starters, the members said they would like to meet Jae-ah. I told them that they can't meet him before I get to know him better."

I sigh at Taehyung's childish behavior, and it's then that Jaehyung comes out of our room after changing. When he sees Taehyung and I speaking, he simply gives a smile in acknowledgement before he walks near Chaeyoung who is making pasta for dinner.

"He's really a mature kid, isn't he?"

"He really is." I respond. "Taehyung, are you really fine with the way things are?"

"Chaeyeon-ah, that's my line to ask you. Pd-nim says he is okay with me getting married to you, even though it's a bit early-"

"Good God, Taehyungie. You met Jae just yesterday!"

"He's not hard to love, and you two are family. So I told him that yeah I do want marry you, but then there's the-"

I hush Taehyung, shaking my head to make him stop talking continuously. "Look. Let's take all this at our own pace? I am fine with the way things are, I'm more than happy that you're hanging out with both Jae and me, and when the time comes, we'll know what to do, right?"

"Okay. But I'm still going to hold the press-conference. I can't take Jae to Lotte World before that, right? Last night, I made a big list of places to take Jae with me, and Jungkookie said I should take him along when we go bowling but I said no because it's just about me and Jae for now-"

"Dinner's ready!" Chaeyoung sings from the kitchen, and I sigh, getting up and holding my hand out for the male.

"You really talk a lot, Taetae-ah."

"I know. Please don't mind that. Oh, I almost forgot. The next day I have an off, can the two of us go out on a date?"

When I blink up at him surprise, Taehyung chuckles, standing up before he speaks. "I love Jae with all my heart but you're my girlfriend. And I love you too, so we need to go somewhere together too, don't you think? Hmm, the three of us can go somewhere only after my press conference, so maybe I should use my next off day for the conference inst-"

"Appa! Eomma! Noona's calling you for dinner!" Jaehyung calls, and Taehyung gives me a genuinely warm smile before he takes my hand and we walk into the kitchen.

The fact that Taehyung called me and Jaehyung a part of his family makes me so overwhelmed that I can barely eat, listening to every word that the two exchange about their day and their excessively alike similarities.

>

Taehyung loses a lot of fans after his press conference.

The number of followers that BTS has on twitter decreases a bit as well, not too much to affect the major total, but enough to be able to notice that his conference was the sole reason for it.

There are comments all over social media calling Jaehyung and I various hurtful names, but Taehyung consoles me, telling me that he doesn't mind, even though so many of his fans had left.

Jimin is comforting me as well, watching Hoseok and Seokjin play a board game with Jaehyung. It's only when Namjoon comes up to me and talks to me, that I wonder who it was between the two of us, who majored in language, because Namjoon knows all the right things to say when I still struggle with it.

"The fans who left us, we can't really call them fans. Or maybe they're just upset but will understand Taehyung better, later. I hope they do." Namjoon says, and Jungkook, who sits beside him nods at me.

"Hyung is right, Chaeyeon-noona." Jungkook pipes in. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

"I want you to focus on the amount of fans you helped us gain, as well. I know how taboo it is that you and Taehyung got a child without being married, and the fact that you didn't talk about Jaehyung until recently is there as well, but... That shows how brave you are. I want you to see the positive threads on Twitter instead of being sad about the immature fans." Namjoon expresses.

"Taehyung-hyung has been receiving a lot of nice messages on the fancafe too. I saw him reading them after the conference because he was upset with the stats at first. But the ones on the fancafe are more positive., so hyung stopped reading the ones on Twitter for now."

"Jungkook is right. You should focus on the positive things. Because I know this will be a life lesson for a lot of the youth here in our society. The youth who's scared and struggles like you every day. Knowing that someone like Taehyungie had to go through the same will be a motivation, and I don't want you to feel burdened, Chaeyeon-ah. You did well."

"Namjoon-oppa... Thank you so much." I say, and he gives me a smile in return.

"And Jae is really smart, too! The kid knows more English than Taehyung, himself."

"I heard that! I told you, I'm trying!" Taehyung yells from where he's seated beside Jaehyung on the floor, and we laugh.

"How do you feel, Chaeyeon-ah?"

"I'm scared, Jiminie," I respond, watching Jungkook and Namjoon going to join the rest of the members in the game. "I'm scared about what might come ahead, but I'm also happy because I've never been as happy before."

"You've worked hard, Chaeyeon-ah, Joonie-hyung was right. I'd know, I've known from the start-"

"You, quit rubbing that off over everyone here, you little pipsqueak." A voice says, and the two of us turn around to see Yoongi making his way towards us and sitting on the couch.

"I'm not a pipsqueak! If I was, then you are too! And I really did know from the start!"

"Sure, sure. Now, Chaeyeon-ah, what else do you feel?" Yoongi asks, taking his smartphone out and opening the notes application. He gives me an expectant look before Jimin punches his arm.

"Hyung! Stop trying to make lyrics out of every situation!" Jimin has a horrified expression on his face, and from the way Yoongi laughs, I can tell that he'd done that to cheer me up. And it works, because the three of us are laughing so much that even Jaehyung looks up from the game board and asks what's so funny.

The day ends in laughs and smiles, and Taehyung goes so far as to take a selfie with Jaehyung that he uploads, a purple heart emoji being the only caption that he adds.

Taehyung drives with us as he drops the two of us home, and Jaehyung gives his father a big hug before he waves and goes upstairs to get ready for bed. When I turn to glance at Taehyung, he smiles and takes hold of my hands, teeth showing as he beams.

"We've come a long way, haven't we?"

"We really did."

"I can't imagine my life without you and Jaehyung now."

I give him a nod, the emotions inside my heart overwhelming enough that I can't say anything in response.

"Thank you for trusting me. I hope this was a lesson you learned, that life will give you good things if you're patient and not lose sight of the most important things along the road. I hope you won't hide anything from me again.

"Thank you for loving me despite everything."

"Of course. Ah, Jae is looking at us, look." Taehyung says, pointing at the window at the first floor where Jaehyung has his face pressed against. "Seriously, he's so much like me, it's still a wonder to me."

"Yeah, he is. How do you think I feel every day? I don't even have time to miss you, because all I need to do is to see Jae's face."

Taehyung laughs at that, wrapping his arms around me and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you okay with this? That I live with the members, and visit you guys like this?"

"This is more than enough for me, trust me." I say, patting his hair, and Taehyung looks at me for a bit before he speaks next. "And I think it's best this way."

"Hey, that reminds me... We're having the Chuseok holiday off. I was thinking of going to Daegu with you two. Think you two can take the week off so we can go visit your parents and mine, and go to the beach together?"

My lips are trembling while I look up at the love of my life with teary eyes, the amount of happiness still difficult for me to comprehend that I was really deserving of. But with the way Taehyung smiles at me like I'm the stars to his sky makes me nod, waving goodbye to him with my heart feeling so full of hope.

It still makes me sad that I had been so horrible of a mother to the boy at first, but as I watch the way Jaehyung softly snores in his sleep while holding his Tata plushie, I doubt I would have loved him as much as I do now, if that didn't happen before.

Taehyung's right: Everything in life happens for a reason.