#her would lead her to someone else in order to keep her safe. so maybe all of that is part of the reason the keyblade inheritance ceremony

[oveliagirlhaditright]

So for no reason at all I'm thinking about this:

Sora was not chosen by a Keyblade Master to be a Keyblade wielder, but he becomes a Keyblade wielder before anyone else in the Destiny Trio (yes, I know, Riku's Keyblade--the Kingdom Key--had shown up on the Destiny Islands for Riku, but when Riku chose darkness over light, it opted to go with Sora instead: and there it would ultimately stay and Riku would get a different Keyblade later).

Riku was chosen by a Master to be a Keyblade wielder, and he's the third of the Destiny Trio to get his Keyblade, though still treated so much better than Kairi is, and truly gets to use his Keyblade before her (in having big adventures where he gets to use it, and whatnot): as I'm sure no one is really counting the three Heartless that Kairi killed with hers in KHII.

Kairi was accidentally chosen to be a wielder by a Keyblade Master (Aqua triggered the Keyblade Inheritance Ceremony with her by accident, that is), and this actually happens before the scene where Terra chooses Riku. But it's an accidental thing, which definitely stings a bit. And Kairi is the second of the Destiny Trio to get her Keyblade... though in a lot of ways, you wouldn't guess that.

Edit: I'm wrong. Riku gets his Keyblade second, and Kairi gets hers third, as Riku has his Keyblade when he protects Kairi and Naminé from Saïx. I, and another user on her at what point, just got confused because of Riku (if you talk to him as Sora when you beat Luxord) mentioning how he doesn't think Sora needs the power of darkness or his Soul Eater yet, which almost sounds like he still has Soul Eater at the time, when he doesn't. What a weird line just overall. -shrugs-

[ceilidho]

forced throuple (soap/ghost/reader)

i've been ruminating on this idea for awhile, that basically after the Alone campaign and after getting out of Las Almas, Ghost more or less decided that Soap is his person. sort of like his pack. and it's only obvious that anyone Soap considers family would also get lumped into his pack as well.

Ghost doesn't keep very many people close - even those that he considers close (Price, Gaz, Roach, etc), he keeps at something of a distance. this is exemplified by the way he still clings to the possibility of betrayal (like telling Soap that "people you trust can hurt you the most"), but after Las Almas, I think something flips in him.

There's a switch that's been off for years, maybe even close to a decade, and it flips back online when he finds this man that trusts him without question, that follows his orders and looks up at him with these big, puppy blue eyes and it twists something in his chest. I don't think he would've even had something like that before, definitely not during his youth when he was still overcoming his childhood trauma and certainly not after everything that lead up to Simon becoming Ghost.

I don't even think Ghost would be particularly upset if Soap came back from leave one day with a girlfriend; he trusts Soap's judgment completely. And once he sees her for himself, pretty as pie tucked under his sergeant's arm (all small and doe eyed, smart as a whip when she opens her mouth), all that does is confirm his assumption.

It takes approximately eight seconds for Ghost's brain to file her under "mine", slotting her right under Johnny in that category and isn't that just perfect because it also takes approximately eight seconds for Ghost to imagine what she might look like under Johnny.

Soap would be distinctly uncomfortable at first. There's a fine line between having Ghost's undivided attention (and oh, he eats it up at first, struts around with his chin cocked just a bit higher than usual because he knows everyone else is watching him with equal parts envy for being Ghost's favourite and abject curiosity/horror) and having Ghost's....complete....undivided....attention.

Like Soap just wants to parade his new girlfriend around (she's sweet but snippy, everything he's ever wanted in a partner) in front of his colleagues, but then Ghost gropes her ass in front of everyone on base (because by then, Ghost has already started to think of the two of them as 'his' in his head) and Soap just stares, mouth dry, absolutely humiliated but no idea what to do (he's just thinking over and over again, "Do I tell him to stop, what do I DO??")

Because Ghost is his buddy, his best friend, his CO - Soap trusts Ghost implicitly, would put his whole life in his hands and know that Ghost would keep him safe.

So he doesn't get it at first? Maybe he thinks Ghost is actually interested in his girlfriend and it wrecks him because Soap can see himself really falling for this girl, but Ghost is also like - he's a part of him. He probably briefly does consider just letting Ghost have her, conceding defeat.

Ghost would correct that assumption soooo quick. There isn't a version of him that wants someone who doesn't also want Johnny. Inconceivable. After everything that they've been through together, the root of him and what he wants is inextricably tied with what Soap wants - he almost wishes he could live inside his head, just a constant stream of Johnny's thoughts into his.

Like Soap genuinely likes having all of Ghost's attention on him because he's a bit of an attention whore but it's a bit different when his LT is holding his head down into his girlfriend's pussy and telling him exactly how to rub his tongue over her clit.

Worse because Ghost's hand curls around his cock when he guides him through it, slick with lube. Almost too tight at first, clearly mimicking the way Simon likes to jerk himself off, even though Johnny prefers a slightly looser grip, a little slower, more indulgent.

Worse still when Ghost positions Soap over her, big hands on his hips and Soap has never felt like he had narrow hips until this very second. Lube drizzled over the furl of his entrance and his head spinning, staring down into his girlfriend's eyes as she watches the two of them wide eyed, still so anxious and it makes him want to sooth her, coo down at her that he's got her and everything's going to be just fine, but that thought is snipped right out of him when Simon lines himself up and presses in and his vision just goes white.

This whooollleeeee au is basically "when a bigger, stronger guy hits on ur gf but it's ok bc he also wants to plow u (her boyfriend)"

[coupleoffanfics]

How would Batsis! y/n become a villain?

I found this while trying to clean up my writing drafts. Not sure when I wrote this, but I decided to post it because why not.

Jerome Route

If she had no friends, that connection with Barbara, or relationship with Jeremiah then Jerome would have a considerably easier time charming y/n. The emotional neglect from the family makes her desperate for any sort of contention leading her right into the hands of Jerome.

The family would believe that y/n can be saved, but she sees them trying to save face. Trying to stop her from telling Jerome all the big bad Batman's secrets by saying they're sorry and that they care. She doesn't end up telling him about their identities because someone has to keep Gotham safe. She's with Jerome, but she doesn't agree with everything he does.

y/n might purposefully sabotage Jerome's schemes. It's not because she cares for the family, no. It's for Batman and his Robins to keep innocent people safe. She keeps the family and their personas separate. At least she'll try to see them as separate.

Her logic is backwards and hypocritical, but frankly she doesn't care enough anymore. All that matters is Jerome's love. Who needs friends or family when you can have Jerome?

y/n and Jerome probably argued over wedding ideas.. Jerome wants a circus theme with a replica of his mom as a pinata. While y/n wants a traditional, elegant wedding. They compromise by letting y/n have that traditional vibe with the ceremony and Jerome can go batshit with the reception.

Jerome never put so much thought into something before and he never wants to do that again.

The Batfamily was not invited of course. The family most likely hears about it or even sends wedding photos. y/n probably has Joker or some other villain walk her down the aisle. Bruce sulks about it for months.

Post-Spray Jeremiah Route

If y/n had no one else besides Jeremiah and her moral compass was cracked. Then of course she's almost going to believe everything he tells her.

There's no denying that Gotham is a modern day Babylon. Yeah, the world would be better without it. Maybe it would be a good thing if we do get rid of it. Yeah, we could rebuild it!

But she'll run into the same problem of not fully following Jeremiah's ideology. At least how he goes about obtaining the goal of cleaning up Gotham. The cult stuff freaks her out a lot. When his followers bow down to her and praise her, she'll tell them to stop but he orders them to do that.

After expressing her discomfort over the cult and the followers' behavior, Jeremiah will distance her from it. Having her become sheltered in the bunker or a manor hidden away in the woods. Meaning the only relationship she can have with anyone who isn't Jeremiah is Ecco. Even then Ecco is  just another follower that was trained to be a guard dog.

This version of y/n wouldn't be too involved compared to the Jerome route. But if Jeremiah was caught and sent to Arkham, y/n is sneaking in to break him out. It could be by disguising herself as a guard or forcefully entering it with full confidence.

The family would try to reason with her if only they could actually talk to her. Again since she's not hands on it's a rarity for them to see her.

The few times they've met face to face was when their hero personas. Jeremiah and Ecco were busy fighting off the others, giving them time to talk. If they try to convince her to leave him, she'll either ignore it or tell them about how he's all she ever had. The only family member that could possibly break through to y/n would probably be Jason or maybe even Barbara.

Jeremiah and y/n get offended when they're compared to Joker and Harley. They'll clearly be different because they have a healthy and loving relationship. People probably come up with the comparison because of his physical appearance and he hates it. They're not wrong when they say their relationship is loving, but it being healthy is debatable.

y/n is more than willing to kill or torture someone if they were to do anything to Jeremiah. Though once again her hands are off, but doesn't mind getting her hands dirty.

y/n is the type to write like love letters and put them into Jeremiah's pocket before he leaves. He's in the middle of fighting Batman and suddenly a pink paper with a red heart border falls out of his pocket. Seeing it makes him scramble to grab it and shove it back into his pocket. He'll read it later.

This y/n might live a more semi-normal life, but probably struggles with loneliness and depression. Since Jeremiah is often working and Ecco is Ecco.

Sprayed Route

The moment y/n realizes what is happening she goes to Jeremiah and contacts Barbara who informs the family. They'd probably find a cure, but for the sake of story and angst let's say they can't.

Everyone is just forced to watch y/n become what essentially a Joker lookalike. Or she could look completely the same, doesn't really matter because they'll all be horrified by the drastic change.

She'd use the knowledge of their identities against them. Dangling it above their heads, but it isn't long before they realize that she isn't going to say anything. Oh, but she's definitely telling Jeremiah all about this. Of course he swears to never tell anyone and he might start working with the family to lock y/n up.

Not only was she endangering herself, but others as well. The best thing for everyone is to lock her up.

If she learns about Jeremiah working against her. She'd be so heartbroken. Violently throwing and smashing everything in the room she was in before coming up with an idea. 'He'd never be against me, they probably forced him to work for them. It's all their fault. They always ruin everything, but I won't let them take him.'

Out of all of the other possible routes this y/n would be the most vindictive. She'll guilt trip the family with her sob stories of their neglect, their personas won't won't react. But she knows they'll be thinking about what she said hours later. She'll spit out insults and won't hold back fighting.

Her once passive and defensive fighting style has completely flipped to almost recklessly aggressive. The only way she'll stop fighting back is if they restrain or knock her out.

Arkham isn't hard for her to adjust to. She'll explain to her few visitors (Jeremiah, Barbara, and Alfred) that it reminds her of Wayne manor. But less lonely.

Barbara and Alfred are the only family members she'll allow to visit her. As she still has a bit of a soft spot for them. Will not admit it, but she's always pleasantly surprised when Babs visits her or Alfred sends her some of his cooking. It almost makes her tear up and feel immense sadness. Just almost.

Probably besties with Riddler or something. Most Arkham inmates know of the name Jeremiah Valeska by how much y/n will mindlessly ramble about him. They also know not to mess with him because they'll be put on top of her shit list.

Masterlist Here

[bri-the-fando-meister]

You're Safe With Me

-------------------------

Minho x reader female

Summary: Minho is out on a daily run to map the maze and he finds a girl trapped in the maze, on her own, with no sign of how she got there. Minho takes her back to the glade, and looks after her for her first night.

Word count: 1950

Read time : 13 minutes

-------------------------

Cool rock on your face, littered with debris. Nice and relaxing coolness, want to sleep. Dust filling air, hard to breathe, want to cough, dry throat, can't cough. Constant thump, distant and mesmerizing. Loud breathing, mine or someone else's?

"I want sleep, but where am I?" you croak, burning your throat as you speak. You opened your eyes.

Walls, tall and ancient , ivy covered walls, three walls surrounding you, one long corridor. Trapped, your chest felt tight and you found it hard to breathe.

You got up and walked toward the end of the corridor and saw two exits, you took a step back, hide.

The thumps got louder, closer and closer. And heavy breathing followed it. Someone was there. Who. Maybe it's a person.

I should check. But I am scared. I should check. My chest is tight again.

Dizzy, spinning walls, the dirt is flying. Must. Check. Now. Sit down before I fall. Yell out, now sitting, I am safe.

"Help me! Where am I?" you croaked half yelling.

"Who are you, where are you? How did you get in here? I am going to find you." a voice replied.

"O-ok"

"just stay where you are." it ordered

You were sitting too close to the entryway of your corridor. So that's when he saw you and you saw him, he kind of, almost, maybe ran into you.

He lowered his body to match your height and reached one of his arms to you and placed his hand on your shoulder, you flinched.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay. You are safe now. Let's get you out of here and get you some food and water." the boy spoke gently "You are safe with me."

He hooked his arm over your shoulders and using his free hand, he held onto your hands.

"It's okay, you are safe, I promise"

"I get that I am safe but, but are there more of you? Like, more people?"

"Yeah, there are more people, they are all great people."

"Okay then, keep them away from me. By the way, what is your name?"

"My name? Minho. I am Minho"

"Okay Minho, I don't want to meet your friends."

You stopped walking, you understood he was taking you to them.

"I know that you are scared, but please, you need to keep moving. How about you, what is your name?"

"Y/n"

After an hour of walking and being dragged, you had arrived to a point where there was a break in the walls, leading out to a grassy square, filled with boys running about, working.

You hid around a corner, "No, I am not going." It didn't faze Minho as he walked into the grassy place and yelled.

"Alby! I am back!" a boy came running to Minho

"Newt, where's Alby? I need to show him something"

"Sorry Minho, he can't come, he is dealing with something important at the moment."

"Okay then Newt, if you say so. You are going to want to see this."

Minho began leading the boy assumably called Newt to your location, you told him you didn't want to meet anyone else.

"Minho, NO, I told you I didn't want to meet your stupid friends"

"Minho, who the shuck said that?"

"Ahhh, does Alby's important business have something to do with no greenie being in the box when it came up?" you poked your head around the corner to listen in.

"Yeah....."

"Well, Newt. I found our greenie in the middle of the maze." He gestured foy you to come to him.

"Come on darling, it's okay. This is Newt, he is really nice. Remember, I promised that you would be safe with me." Newt waved.

You began to slowly walk to the two boys, when you got there you grabbed Minho's arm and hugged it closely for comfort, he looked down at you and swilled a warm smile.

"Minho, I want you to come back with me, I feel safe in there, come back with me." you began to tug his arm, but his tall muscular build made it impossible to move him. After giving up you just walked back into the walls, Minho followed. Newt yelled to him. "Minho, you have like, 30 seconds to get out."

"Look, you need to get out of here, it isn't safe in here, you could die on your own."

"Minho, Get out now!" Newt yelled

"I am sorry, but you have to move"

"10-9" Minho picked you up and began to run "8-7-6-5" a few meters left to the grass "4-3" A giant gust of wind "2" you fell out of Minho's arms and landed on the grass "1" BANG!

"You still want to be in there now? You could have died for shuck sake. What were you thinking?" Newt was yelling at you. You began to cry, you didn't like yelling.

Yelling hurt, you couldn't quite connect the dots but, you remembered when you were yelled at, you would get hit.

You cowered, bracing for impact through heavy sobs. "Please don't hit me. Please don't. Don't hit me. Don't yell. What did I do wrong. I am sorry. Just hit me."

You cried so hard and found it hard to breathe, "Just hit me already, I am used to it. Sorry for being a burden."

When you didn't get hit you decided to see what was happening, so you turned your head. When you turned around you saw Minho having a go at Newt because of what he did. Newt pointed at you and spoke to Minho "You might want to talk to her, calm her down"

"Hey, hey. It's okay" he sat down on the grass with you, you were curled up in a loose ball so he wrapped himself around you. Giving you a warm hug.

"Do you want me to just be here, or do you want me to comfort you?"

"Both." you said, in broken sobs "I don't think that I like Newt."

"I get that you might not like him but, he was yelling out of concern, you could have died today, and he was very worried about you."

"I know, I, I just remember that whenever I got yelled at, I would be hit until I couldn't feel it anymore. Yelling hurts, I don't like it"

"He is sorry, I already talked to him, he didn't know that that triggered you."

"Okay, it was just a bit scary."

"I know, it's okay now. I promise, you are safe. Also, meet Alby, he is our leader."

"Hey there greenie, I see you have already made close friends with my best man."

"How long have you been watching?"

"I have been standing there since I heard you bawling your eyes out. Sorry about Newt, he was just really worried about you, he always is worried about the green-beans. By the way, what's your name?"

"Y/n, that's my name."

"Well then Y/n, we are going to need to find you some sleeping arrangements, it is already dark."

"Okay, where can I sleep?"

"We have some huts, some of the guys already sleep in them, the most important ones at least. Lucky Minho has one. And we have some hammocks outside the homestead. Your choice."

"Minho, can I sleep in your hut? I can take the floor if you want."

"Uhh, sure. If you really want to, I will take the floor though."

"Well, Y/n, now you have sleeping arrangements you'd be best to go have a sleep, you have had a rough day. We will need to talk in the morning so we can set a few boundaries."

Minho helped pull you up off of the ground.

"Let's go, I will show you my hut." he smiled so warmly that you couldn't help but calm down a bit.

He hooked his arm around your waist and walked you away to his hut.

"Here we are Y/n, this is my hut, just let me unlock it" he fumbled around his pocket for his keys and finally fished them out. when he unlocked it you got a strong smell of woodiness and a bit of boy funk, but it was quite comforting.

The room was about three meters by three meters, not too big but big enough to have his bed and chair in there.

He pushed the chair into the corner and placed a sleeping bag on the floor. He made the bed and pulled all the sheets back into place and put the pillow back on the bed. It wasn't much but it was his hut, it had bits of paper strewn everywhere and had notes scrawled on them.

He pointed to the bed "Sleep, you need it"

"But, what about you, you don't need to sleep on the floor."

"I can sleep in the sleeping bag, I say you sleep on the bed, so do it."

You got into his bed and curled up under his covers. The smell of them were so comforting. You couldn't sleep though, you felt too vulnerable, you could be hit while you were asleep, nightmares could come.

After what felt like hours of tossing and turning you finally gave up trying to sleep, you were too scared.

"Minho, are you still awake"

"Yeah, what's up Y/n? To busy wanting to talk to me than sleep hey?" Minho was half-asleep, he spoke groggily, he sounded like he was drunk.

"I can't sleep, I am too scared, I don't want to be here."

Minho got up and sat on the end of the bed.

"Look, you need to go to sleep, it isn't healthy being awake for too long. What can I do to help you sleep?"

"I don't know, I don't feel safe, what if Newt comes and yells again, and hits me this time?" You sat up. "I don't want to be alone."

"You aren't alone Y/n, how about I sit next to you until you fall asleep. Do you think that would help?"

"O-ok. Thanks"

"Would you mind scooching over though, so I can sit next to you."

"Yeah, sure." you shuffled over so that you were a bit closer to the wall.

Minho stood up and walked towards your end of the bed and sat down, well actually, more like he fell. "Sorry Y/n, just tripped on my shucking rubbish"

He pulled the covers off of you and shifted his body down so that he was lay next to you. Then he pulled the covers back onto both of you.

"Thanks Minho, I, I just don't feel safe here, or anywhere. It's like I am missing something."

Minho began to fiddle with your hair.

"You know Y/n, I think that you are overreacting. And you also need a hug"

Minho forced his arm under your back and pulled you into his warm chest, embracing you, comforting you. "Remember, I told you that you are safe with me"

"Minho, thankyou, thanks for making me feel safe, making me feel like I am worth it."

"Anytime Y/n, but maybe next time, do what you're told, you could have died today, if it weren't for Newt, I wouldn't have gotten you out in time."

"He's still scary though" you mumbled, groggily.

The warmth of Minho's chest was comforting, soothing and relaxing. You were in just the right spot to listen to his heartbeat, it was almost as mesmerizing as his footsteps when he was running.

"Y/n, I understand that, but I will keep you safe, I will protect you. so go to sleep now, I will too, I am already too comfy to go back to my sleeping bag."

You chuckled.

"Okay Minho, goodnight" then you were out like a light.

------------------------------------

[chronicowboy]

Chimney doesn't tear his eyes away from Buck for a single second. Hen is pretty sure that if blinking weren't a necessity, he wouldn't look away from him at all. She wonders if he can even see anything through the constant film of tears, wonders whether its the guilt or the possibility of losing another brother that keeps him from stepping away. Even if she knew, she wouldn't be able to fix it.

Eddie, on the other hand, hasn't shot more than a fleeting glance through the window. He keeps his eyes on the ground or fixed on some far-off detail no one else can see. His blinks are slow and long like he's crying in three second intervals behind closed eyelids. She has a stronger idea of what it is keeping Eddie from facing the gaunt figure of Buck dwarfed by tubes and machines. She knows she can't fix this.

But she can help.

So, when Albert arrives, sombre and downcast, she asks for his and Chim's coffee orders before guiding Eddie away by the elbow. He follows without a fight like a puppet with his strings cut. He goes wherever she leads him with dragging feet like a duckling following its mother.

She sits him down at an empty table in an abandoned corner of the café, and Eddie blinks once, twice, three times before he frowns over at the line.

"I thought we were getting coffee," he rasps.

"In a minute." She takes his hand on the tabletop, and he looks at it like its a viper about to strike before his eyes fill with tears. "Eddie, talk to me."

"I-I can't," he whispers, "I can't talk about this."

"Eddie..."

"No, Hen, what right do I have to talk about him?" he seethes, words jagged with anger and broken by tears. "Everyone's known him longer. Everyone's known him longer than me. He's Bobby's kid, Maddie's brother, Chimney's brother-in-law. Hell, he's your little brother too, and you've known him longer than me, but he's not a brother to me, so what right do I have to..." He balls his free hand into a fist and presses it against his mouth.

"Eddie, you have every right." Hen slides him a napkin when he starts picking at the skin around his nails and he wastes no time in tearing it up into tiny pieces. "We may have known him longer, but no one knows him more than you." Eddie grabs another napkin to shred, jaw clenching. "Not even Maddie anymore, I don't think."

"Maybe." Eddie shrugs and its a terrible, horrible thing. All tension and fear. It reminds Hen of the Eddie that had said I'm leaving the 118 and didn't show up to team nights at the bar. "But she's his sister, she has rights to see him. What do I have?"

"Is that why you won't look at him?"

"I won't look at him because the last time someone I loved had a tube down their throat they never woke up!" Eddie startles at his own outburst, slumping back in his chair. He really does look like a puppet cut from its strings. "My last partner never woke up."

Hen flounders a little here. Honestly, even if she wasn't grief-stricken and running on two hours of sleep, she's not sure she'd know how to handle this. Its always difficult finding the right balance with Eddie, when to push and when to let him flee, but right now it feels like more of a knife edge than ever.

Does he know what he's just admitted or is it still hidden under a thousand justifications and exceptions? If he does know, does he want to talk about it or politely pretend it never happened? Should she help him figure it out or would that only do more damage if Buck never woke up?

"How's Christopher?" she manages eventually. He's a safe topic, a subject that will keep Eddie talking whilst also quite possibly giving her more insight into his little slip.

"Better than me," he sighs, grabs another napkin. "I could barely get through telling him. I think he thought he was dead." Eddie swallows. "When I finally got through it, he lit up with hope and, fuck, it broke my heart, Hen." He drags his hands down his face so roughly Hen can't help but think he's trying to distract himself with a more concrete pain. "I never thought I'd see the day when his smile made me feel anything other than happy, but it just made me angry."

"At who?"

"Buck." Eddie chokes on the word, something gruesome caught in his throat. "I wanted to yell at him, scream at him. Tell him that he's not allowed to leave. He's never been the one that leaves. I wanted to tell him that he can't leave me and Christopher alone again, he can't make me do this alone again. He promised to have my back, Hen. And, fuck, I gave him Christopher because he was never supposed to be the one in the hospital bed." Hen blinks. Does that mean what she thinks it means? She remembers something complicated passing over Buck's expression in a split second when she'd asked him if he was capable of being a father and walking away. "I was ready to storm in there and beg him to just wake the fuck up, but I couldn't make it through the door." He drops his head into his hands with a wet and broken chuckle. "Buck broke down a door to save me, and I couldn't even..."

"Eddie, listen to me." Hen cups his cheek and tilts his face so he can meet her eye. "That boy will wake up. You know we're not allowed to make promises, but I'm making you this promise because I've never been more certain of anything." And, truth is, before this, she hadn't been certain of that at all. But suddenly, a lot of things make a lot more sense. And Hen knows without a shadow of a doubt that Buck will come back to them, to Eddie and Christopher. "I could say the usual stuff. How he's a fighter, how he never gives up. But, Eddie, Buck will come back to you. Think about everything he's done for you and Chris over the years. He's not gonna let a little lightning stop him from coming home. Because he has something good, something wonderful, waiting for him right here. He has the family he's always dreamt of with you and Chris, and nothing could ever keep him away from that."

"Do you think he knows?" Eddie whispers, tears spilling over.

"I think he does. Somewhere in there, he knows, but I don't think it'd hurt to make sure he knows once he's awake." Hen wipes away a tear and pats his cheek gently. "He'll wake up, Eddie."

Later, after the barista tells them they're out of oat milk, after Chimney finally goes home, after Hen finds enough strength to sit at Buck's bedside, Eddie sneaks Christopher into Buck's room, and she can't even find it in herself to be surprised.

The only surprise is that Buck doesn't wake up.

[that-green-haired-swordsman]

Found this on Pinterest and it's not meant to be taken too seriously, but yeah, I get where this comes from. Usually you see Zoro being pictured as either a sex machine or as aromantic/ace, and literally never anything in between, and I personally believe that either of these takes is true. It's a manga of the shonen genre and follows the respective, genre-based rules. My interpretation of the character is that he undoubtedly puts his goal(s) on top of everything else. Luffy gets to become the pirate king. Zoro himself is going to be the world's strongest swordsman. Period. BUT. These ambitions go hand in hand with a sacrifice, at least to Zoro. This is going to be a long read and I have to digress a bit so please be patient lol.

Zoro has lost the person most important to him and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He couldn't protect Kuina. Now, we don't know his own knowledge of his parents, but I always assumed that his desire to become stronger and stronger is a direct result of the loss of his parents, something he witnessed, but couldn't do anything about it either. So he chose to follow his father's footsteps and became a swordsman, trained in Koushiro's dojo, driven by anxiety. He made friends with Kuina who died too. And then he swore to himself that never again he would anyone ever become close to him. He traveled alone and at first and kept his distance to Luffy, Nami and the others.

But there's no way to fight human nature. Slowly, he allowed himself and them to get closer and he found it comfortable to be around them, but accepting that they're his friends also multiplies his anxiety and ultimate weakness: losing someone again. He not only wants to become stronger to be the WGS, he also thinks it's the only way to protect his loved ones. When he struggles with an opponent, he can be seen training even harder afterwards. He takes the night's watch. He guards the ship. He only sleeps when someone else is awake. He tells the others to escape when it's dangerous. He tries to take incoming damage alone. He refuses that anyone sacrifices themselves and knocks them out should they try (Sanji @ Thriller Bark). He keeps things a secret. He holds back emotions to remain collected and supportive. The further along they travel, the more of his humanity he has to lose in order to keep them all safe.

Back to the original intention of this post. Zoro has kind of a soft spot for women who need help with something. They just trigger his protective instinct. But he also tries to keep away from any woman because they'd weaken him. And he can't afford to be weak. A woman by his side would mean he'd have to look after her, provide for her, protect her, make sure she's alright, take better care of himself in order to be there for her, all things he simply can't afford and which distract him from his goal (he would think that way, being a bit traditional). Maybe he doesn't trust himself to remain as determined as he was once he's in a relationship. Maybe he's afraid that his partner would try to talk him out of his goal and stand in his way. Which leads me to think how a woman has to be in order to be a good match for him?

We've covered that a woman often triggers his protective sense, I'm not sure though if that is what he finds an important trait. I like to imagine that a woman he'd be interested in has to be similar to himself - independent, strong, able to defend herself, not afraid to put him in his place, self-confident and courageous and most importantly be supportive and understand how he rolls. He wouldn't have to worry about her as much then (he'd still be worried though of course lol). So yeah, ZoTash all the way!

However, even if they'd fall in love during the series, he'd not give in to his feelings before he would have reached his goals, due to the above mentioned reasons. He'd ask her to wait or he wouldn't open up to her until he's the WGS, and then reunite with her and be like "Hey sorry you had to wait" and you know how loyal he is, he'd stay with her until the end of his days. And I think that's another reason why he's not dating a woman - he wants to make sure that she's THE ONE. He's not interested in an affair or something not serious. He's there for the long run. He doesn't give away his heart so easy. He could even play hard to get, to check if his love interest really means it. He wants to protect himself from heartbreak and loss, afraid to experience it ever again.

He wouldn't be a perfect lover, but try hard to be the best version of himself.

[siennasfix]

Pareidolia

Chapter 3 "Tipped scale"

*****

<<<Chapter 2 Chapter 4>>>

Trigger warnings: 1. Mentions of child torture 2. Mentions of child being experimented on in a lab 3. Strangling attempt 4. Imprisonment

The cold and musty dampness of the cell had numbed her buttocks. After having tried to stand for hours on end, she’d gotten so dizzy that the only choice had been to lie down and embrace the high possibility that she would fall ill. Now and again, a shudder would roll through her with such violence it almost knocked the breath out of her.  She could no longer feel her nose and her toes were next. The only thing she could be certain of was the fact that none of this could be as bad for her as it had to be for her little sister. 

Luna had been taken to a different cell, one used to hold prisoners charged with crimes too great for the human world, but not enough to endanger the divine order. The latter granted you a far crueler fate. A trip to the fields of punishment while you were still breathing and not allowed to die. What was the difference at that point? The possibility that you could escape? The knowledge you wouldn’t? 

But she wasn’t there. She wouldn’t be sent there. Luna was only a girl of nine. What she had seen had scarred her, rendering her unable to sleep. She didn’t have the power or the training, least of all the intention, to commit those murders. The council had to understand that. With Y/n a witness, they would understand that. Maybe she could get someone else to testify as well, but so far no one came to mind. No one who didn’t have the influence or intention to make things worse. 

She dreaded the moment she would have to face the council as Professor Philomena Laqueus would be in it, presiding and whispering in the Head’s ear. Her fate was largely decided by those who held no neighborly feelings toward her or her younger sister. She dreaded it… dreaded it. 

But nothing chilled her blood as the thought of all those students being in the hall, a replica of the Colosseum, watching like scavengers for remains to tear off her sister’s corpse, even if they would keep her alive until Y/n died under any circumstance. They needed a blood piggy after all, and they were the last of the Old Bloods on earth. No, they wouldn’t kill her. They would keep her alive, somewhere. Keep her in a state of miserable existence until Luna truly was alone in the world. 

While Y/n was deep in thought, someone was making his way down the corridor leading to the cells below Lex Principalis, each step more uncertain than the one before but with the certainty that if he were to go back, he would sorely regret it. After all the bargaining he had done, the only way was forward. Still, when he stopped before the bars of her cell, she thought him to be a mirage. A cruel creation of her fancy. 

“Did you have to run into the forest like that?” 

Lee Minho wasted no time with formalities or sympathy, even if he wished he could spare the time for them. They were entirely unhelpful at the moment. 

Y/n looked to the wall on her right, finding comfort in the stone. Anything but a human being. Especially one standing there, safe, sound, and secure in his strength. 

“You’re only here to judge I see.” She muttered. 

Minho had no plans of leaving though, not before fulfilling his self-appointed mission. It didn’t matter that she turned the other way. But he could make it easier for her to adjust to his presence, and so he crouched down, careful not to touch the bars buzzing with electricity. 

She looked so helpless, sitting in the damp ground of the cell, breathing in the mold, waiting out the days with only rotten food in her system. Not only that, she certainly felt weak as well. If any of the guards felt like beating her, she couldn’t fight back, even in the dark. Minho could tell by her broken nose, the bloodied hands, and the collarbones peeking over her zip-up hoodie that she was close to dying. Maybe she didn’t know it. 

“She’s being held in a lab, you know?” He stated matter-of-factly, and instantly, she stiffened. “Everything she fled from is being done to her as we speak. All those tests, mostly blood tests. You understand, don’t you?” 

Y/n stirred, looking at him with tired dark eyes. 

“I was wrong. You’re not here to judge.” She said, more to herself than him. “You’re here to gloat.” 

“Does it look like I’m gloating?” 

She dug the heels of her mud-caked palms into her eyes, shaking her head. 

“That’s it. I don’t know what anything other than humiliation looks like. That’s what you look like to me. I don’t know you.” 

“I thought we agreed that I wouldn’t make a spectacle out of you. I’m your mentor, aren’t I?” 

“That doesn’t matter anymore. No one will let me train after this, and if Luna gets taken away, there will be no reason for me to do so.” The whimper died in her throat. “It’s pointless.”  Minho groaned. “What’s pointless is moping around.”  “Whatever.” You don’t understand anything. You’re not the one in a cell. She brought her knees to her chest, wrapping shiver her arms around them as if to keep his words from affecting her. Again, she whispered, “Whatever.” 

For a minute or two, they let the sound of water leak down the stone walls, dripping from the ceiling at even intervals, fill the space between them. Silence would be either too kind or too cruel, and neither was wanted. But Minho did not have all day. He had duties to fulfill, a training regiment to stick by (though he loathed to do so), and his friends were bound to take note of his prolonged absence. Hyunjin worst of all would be able to put two and two together, and Minho, mischievous and cunning son of Hermes though he was, didn’t trust himself to withhold the truth from the beloved son of Aphrodite. It was, in every sense of the word, impossible to do so. He could be persuasive, persistent, and pitiless in his every pursuit. Especially when he believed it to be something he truly desired. It did not help that Yeonjun and Beomgyu were in the simulation chamber with him at the moment, likely discussing his nonattendance. 

He had to do what he’d set out to do by coming here and do it quickly. 

“Will you get closer already? I have something to tell you.” He beckoned in as low a voice as possible. She peered distrustfully at him from above her folded knees. He then added, “It’s good news, I promise.” 

Minho figured her silence was as much an approval as he would get considering the way the conversation had flown so far. 

“I heard, from a friend of mine who is an eavesdropper by trade, that they are considering releasing you tomorrow morning.” 

That single sentence sparked hope in her heart. Those dark beads of hers lit up so much so that in the obscurity of the cell they glittered as if with tears. 

“Do they believe me now?” Her arms loosened around her legs and Y/n pushed herself to crawl toward him. “About Luna and I being innocent?” 

Minho chuckled. “Gods, no. They just need your blood, and being held in captivity like this is bound to kill you.” 

Her emaciated face fell, the faint pipe dream in her eyes going out like a light. It was pitiful to watch, but she needed to know. Not that she didn’t already. 

“Oh…” Y/n let out, her arms once again wound like vines around herself. “It doesn’t matter. As long as I’m out of here.” 

Minho nodded. “Yeah, you will still be under surveillance.” 

“Like… guards?” Y/n asked warily. 

“Animals. Cameras.” He looked at her pointedly. “Students.” 

The last one is loaded, an ill omen of sorts. The very creatures that to this day had ignored her at best and mocked her at worst, were to now become the very eyes that scrutinized her every move, the very mouths that hurled accusation after accusation. But what if it didn’t end there? What if they took it upon themselves to serve justice and beat her senseless? Would anyone care to heal her, if only so they could hurt her again? 

Y/n gazed at Minho, wondering whether he would care enough to keep her alive just so she could live out the rest of her days with a tube stuck to her arm, feeding the altars. Randomly, she wondered what his friends thought of all this. Did they find it amusing, hearing about her being locked up while her sister was treated like a guinea pig, reading in the paper about how old bloods were vile creatures after all? Or did they not give a shit in the slightest? 

Minho rose to his feet and produced something from the left inner pocket of his leather jacket. 

“Brought you something.” He said, tossing her the Rubik's cube for her to catch. It almost slid off her grasp palms, but once it rested securely on her palm she began to study the colors swirling in each little square; aquamarine, vivid orange, onyx black, vermillion red, viridian green, and brilliant gold. Minho pointed at the cube. “Green, green, gold, red, orange, blue, black, green, green.” 

Y/n had feared he was expecting her to solve it, so this was a relief. She tapped each color as he’d instructed and when nothing happened, looked up at him questioningly. 

“Say “in bloom”.” And so, she did. 

Where the Rubik’s cube had just sat now spread out a blanket the color of which reminded her of the forest in full bloom. In the sunlight, she might have been able to appreciate its coloring better. But it was the comforting warmth it provided that mattered. Wanting to revel in its softness, she rubbed the rim against her grimy cheeks. 

“Thank you.” She sighed, tucking her shivering frame inside the blanket. 

Patting down his jacket, Minho took one last look at her. Before he made for the exit, he made sure to let her know what must be done. 

“In the morning,” He said, “Or whenever they come for you, say ‘nature is a whore’ and let it burn, will you?” 

She didn’t need to ask what he meant by that. If he were found to have provided a means of comfort to a prisoner without being authorized to do so, his ambitions, his life even, would be put in jeopardy. All traces of his kind gesture had to go up in smoke. And so, they did the moment Y/n uttered the words upon being awoken by the sound of footsteps coming down the murky corridor. She had a good night’s sleep. It had kept her warm throughout the day as well. Minho had done enough. Far more than he was allowed. 

Four guards equipped with swords handled everything (securing her hands behind her back with handcuffs of tempered steel and celestial bronze) without a word spoken between them and led her up a spiraling staircase. Once the gates of steel yawned open, the muted sun of the dusk stung her eyes. She could barely see where she was going, and if not for the guards leading her toward a vehicle, she would have hurtled down the stairs. 

To her, it didn’t matter where they took her as long as it was back to Luna. But the more time passed, the closer she came to realizing that the road was an unfamiliar one. The buildings were loftier. Engines whirred to life and car honks blared. Roaring laughter echoed in the emptier parts of town. Silence died down as they drove her deeper into the heart of New Rome, where the most opulent of divinity’s offspring spent their days in unfathomable comfort. Slowly, Y/n began to recognize the paths they were driving on. After all, she’d run all the way here from their pathetic dwelling in the wee hours of the morning. They stopped at a red light and once the green flickered to life, the driver took a turn to the left. Just a little further ahead they would have had to drive around the fountain at the center of which stood the overawing statue of Jupiter. Not that it was something she wished to see anytime soon. 

The uncaring attitude she’d been able to maintain began to dissipate. They were not driving her home, but neither were they taking her to see Luna. Just where were they taking her then? Was there some secret lab around here she didn’t know about? Where they could suction the blood out of her veins while sedated? If so, who would be there to make sure Luna’s innocence was proven? Who would go out of their way to search for the truth when blaming an old blood was so convenient? 

“Where are we going?” She asked the guard on her left. He remained silent, so she asked again. “Can you tell me where you’re taking me? Please?” 

Her question went unanswered once again, but in the mirror, she caught the driver’s eyes staring at her. Something had to be wrong with the reflection, manipulation of the light, or her eyes deceiving her, because his gaze flicked fretfully between her and the guards before turning to the road ahead. Y/n shifted in her seat, trying to keep the handcuffs from biting into her flesh to no avail. The metal had broken skin and it left her feeling all the weaker. Her barely suppressed whimpers were the only sounds in the vehicle. 

The frail silence didn’t last long, however. In no time, the driver had pulled over and they exited the car. She had but a few seconds to take in the sight of the building or the garden at the front before they were practically dragging her inside the building. The five entered the elevator, her in between the four of them, and the one at the front pressed a few buttons. Instantly, it shot up and stopped at the 23rd floor with a ding. After stepping out, the guard who had pressed the buttons rang the doorbell as you couldn’t simply enter the penthouse without knowing the passcode or if you weren’t one of its inhabitants. None of that mattered right now. Why was she here? Shouldn’t she have been rotting in a dungeon? She hoped the anxiety didn’t show in her frown or in the way she shifted her weight from leg to leg as they waited for the resident to open the door. 

The metallic lock clicked and a peculiar sound went off as the door swung open. On the threshold stood a tall young man clad in his training gear. He was probably heading out for the obstacle course or the Training Center. His face looked familiar, and for good reason. Y/n had seen him before. She’d heard him snicker at her incompetence along with his companions. Again. Why was she here? Clearly, he lived here. So, why was she here? 

He scratched the back of his head where the dark hair had been cropped shorter than the top. The guard to her left stepped forward. Y/n couldn’t help but pity the man as he looked painfully average, in every sense of the word, next to the younger demigod. 

“We received orders to escort the prisoner Y/n L/n to this address.” He reported in a clipped tone. “Specifically, to Mr. Lee Minho.” 

“Minho isn’t available at the moment.” Minho’s friend informed them, meeting her uncomfortable gaze just before she turned to stare at the nape of the guard who had just spoken to him. “You’re dirtier than I expected.” 

No surprise there. Actually, as much as it hurt to be told that it was also kind of pleasant. No other student except for Minho and Seungmin spoke to her, and the absence of social interaction was bound to take its toll on any human being. Still, his comment wasn’t one she had an answer to. Nor did she wish to find one. 

Figuring she wasn’t going to say anything back, the young man turned to the guards. 

“I’m one of Minho’s flatmates. He told us you’d be delivering her this afternoon so don’t worry.” Out of the corner of her eye, Y/n saw him open the door wider and motion for her to cross the threshold. “You can entrust her to us.” 

The guard looked back at her skeptically then, after mulling it over for no longer than three seconds, replied, “We were told to escort her directly to Mr. Minho. This is not regular procedure.”  The guy throws his head back. 

“So annoying.” He groaned. “Just get inside.” 

The guard’s posture went ramrod straight. “We cannot- 

“So rigid, too.” Minho’s friend quipped, taking hold of Y/n’s arm and pulling her inside. “I know you’re not popular with the ladies.” 

Then he shut the door in their face, the electronic lock making that sound once again. He walked past her but she didn’t follow, something he eventually noticed and expressed his confusion about.  “Well, don’t just stand there.” He remarked. “Follow me already.” 

Y/n took off her shoes and jogged up to his side. “Where are we going?” 

“To the bathroom. You stink.” 

She glared at him. He was starting to get on her nerves. It wasn’t like she wanted to smell bad. But it had been like what, a week since her imprisonment? They hadn’t exactly provided a warm shower back in her cell. Not even a cold one. She’d had to piss in a dingy corner and couldn’t even shit because there was nothing to shit out. Her nails were caked with blood and scratches (face, knees, and hands) from when she’d clawed her way out of the bush had become infected, oozing with yellow and greenish puss. There were so many thorns still stuck inside that it ached to rub her hands for warmth or clench them into fists. Three of her nails, two on her right hand and one on her left, had vanished in her mad pursuit of sunlight, while another had only been torn halfway and she’d had to rip it out herself her first night in the cell. So, Minho’s friend would have to forgive her for the filth that she was. 

Some of her annoyance abated when she took in the size of their apartment. Spacious and luxuriously furnished, it allowed room for so many emotions to flood inside her; green with envy, a petrifying sense of awe, a nostalgia for what she’d never experienced, and more. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, its numerous tiny crystals resembling the tears of nymphs in Chiron’s bedtime stories before he started bringing picture books for her to flip through. The couches, arranged in a squarish sort of formation before the TV that occupied half of the wall, were much bigger than Luna’s bed and far more comfortable looking. Lying there must feel like floating, Y/n thought to herself as she followed Minho’s friend up the stairs. She wished she had more time to imbibe each lavish detail, from the drawn navy-blue drapes from which the sunset overflew onto the bone-white carpet, from the sculptures in the corner to the paintings on the wall, but she was even more desperate to feel clean. Perhaps then the other demigod would stop giving her those repulsed looks. 

“I’ll go get you some towels and clothes.” He let her know once they reached the bathroom on the second floor and opened the door to let her in. “None of them will fit but you were never supposed to be here anyway so you’ll forgive us if we’re unprepared.” 

Then he left her there to stare at all the commodities. Shampoo bottles on several stands and other containers of different sizes. A porcelain sink the shade of ivory that was so clean it sparkled and an elliptical mirror above it. Below the sink, there were lower cabinets for storing whatever (she couldn’t imagine what more they could possibly need). But the things that stood out the most to her were the shower cubicle with its glassy enclosures and the large bathtub parallel to it. Her bathroom only had a rusty mirror, a chipped sink, a toilet, and a shower head they never used because boiling water cost less. 

Minho’s friend returned, placed the folded clothes on the rim of the bathtub, and started explaining everything to her like she was five.  

“That’s for your hair.” He pointed to a white bottle. “That one’s for your hair too.” A cylindrical container this time. “That one for your body. That’s for scrubbing” Another shampoo bottle, this time crimson red, and a brush. Lastly, fixing her with a serious look, he pointed at a rose gold container about the size of the previous one. “That one is off-limits.” 

Y/n got closer and looked up at him. “Which one should I use first? For the hair?” 

His jaw all but dropped. 

“You’re joking.” He tried to say as evenly as possible. When she shook her head, he pointed to the cylindrical container almost robotically.  “This one, for the ends of your hair after you’ve shampooed it.” 

After that, he left and closed the door behind him. Worried that one of his friends might enter the bathroom while she was showering, Y/n locked it and began to undress. There was not an inch of her body that didn’t ache. Scrubbing was difficult but she managed to clean her festering wounds somewhat. There was nothing she could do about her nails. 

When she was finished, the bathroom smelled of pine needles, honey, and lavender. It was the first time she could wholeheartedly say she enjoyed taking a shower. A warm, long shower. 

Then, Minho’s friend, who came upstairs just as she exited the bathroom, escorted her to one of their spare rooms, gave her a bottle of water, and told her to wait there until her mentor got back. No complaints there, even if it was so that he and his friends didn’t have to look at her. She didn’t want to see any of them either. Pompous pricks. 

Sitting still wouldn’t bode well with her nerves so she spent the next two hours pacing around the room. At one point she crouched down to inspect a curious-looking object. Its translucent exterior made it appear as though nothing stood between her and the wall. But a closer look revealed the sheer glitter within the glass, scattering and converging depending on the angle the sunset impaled it. Anyone else would have moved on. But it was so pretty. Did galaxies feel like this? 

Two hours later, the door opened. Voices poured in from the kitchen on the first floor. 

“Hey.” Minho greeted. 

He looked not much different than the day before. Same leather jacket. Same dark pants. The same black boots with mud splatters all over. The difference wasn’t in how he looked but in the look in his eyes as he watched her rise from her spot on the floor. His eyes flicked to the object that had put her in a trance then back at her. She must look a tad easier on the eye now that the filth had gone down the drain. Literally.  

“Did you know?” She asked him. “That they were sending me to you?” 

Minho stepped closer, unzipping one of his pockets in the process, and sat at the foot of the bed. Y/n didn’t know whether it was right to sit next to him. 

“I didn’t think you’d like the thought of living here even if it’s just until the final verdict. So, I kept it from you.” 

True. Y/n wouldn’t have been ecstatic to live with him and his friends, no matter how long. She hadn’t forgotten how they’d mocked her amongst themselves. The friend who had let her in was a jerk. Beomgyu had smoked weed right after Ruth’s farewell ceremony. Hwang Hyunjin gave her the creeps. None of them liked her and the feeling was duly reciprocated. 

Despite all this, Y/n would have preferred to know. At the very least, she would have been prepared for his friend’s unsolicited criticism. 

“Did Professor Hajjar put you up to this?” She tried to speak clearly, but it came out as inaudible muttering. 

Somehow, Minho understood her. 

“The way you say that… yes, he pulled strings to make this happen. Would you rather be cold and starving in that damp cell underground that reeks of dead rats?” 

Somehow, Y/n had managed to incense the one person in this house who wasn’t disgusted by her. They settled in a fog-like silence⸺ him sitting, her standing⸺ with no idea of what else to say. A voice called from downstairs and Minho rose, the bed squeaking in response.  

“Dinner’s ready. Supposedly. Can’t be sure with Beomgyu on kitchen duty.” He cracked his neck and, noticing her unwillingness to follow, asked. “What is it?” 

This time, her voice came out much clearer. “I want to be alone.” 

Minho studied her for a few prolonged moments then walked towards the door. 

“Alright, I’ll bring you some food.” 

That night she dreamed of fog and stars. Shadows followed her. Other shadows beckoned her. She heard them call her name, whisper vows of secrecy, screeching. At one point, it didn’t matter where she ran. The hunch of being followed persisted. Yet the entity glued to her side never showed itself. It was only when she ended up at the edge of a gaping pit⸺ no stars, no galaxies, things neither dead nor alive in sight⸺ when she felt the pull of something draconian, from time immemorial, when the ground shook beneath her feet and she almost plummeted into the yawning abyss, that Y/n felt it yank her back with unparalleled conviction. It wanted her alive. 

****************************************************************************************** 

She told Minho she didn’t want to have breakfast not because she wasn’t hungry but because she didn’t want to be around his friends and so he wouldn’t have to play waiter for her. Despite his insistence and her desperate hunger, she refused. Everything felt too much. Too much silence. Too much noise. Too many and too few people around. Too much of everything yet not enough. She was going to throw up if she put anything in her mouth. 

A royal purple hoodie and a pair of wide-bottom jeans sat at the foot of her bed. They looked brand new, like the outfits the mannequins at the store wore. She’d always wanted to try them on but one look at the rich materials and she knew it was a pipe dream. But now she could try them on. Clothes had never felt so good on her skin. Minho asked if the clothes fit and she answered honestly. Nothing ever really fit her. 

Downstairs, his friends were lounging around (it was quite early after all). Upon their appearance, Minho’s nameless friend stopped scrolling through his phone, Beomgyu began tying his shoelaces, and Hwang Hyunjin put on his denim jacket. The looks they gave her were various degrees of scrutiny. Yeonjun muttered something about how she didn’t look much better than the day before, making her flush in embarrassment. His friend, the more chipper of the four, Beomgyu, looked at her the way one would at a creature at the aviary; wide-eyed, humorously, as if she had just performed a particularly clever trick. At least, he walked away. Hwang didn’t bother to do even that, glancing at her every five seconds as they walked out of the penthouse with Minho in between. 

The walk to the university was tense. There she was, the sister of a suspect, confined on all fronts with no means of escape. Maybe she should have taken Minho up on that offer and had breakfast. But where would it end up? On the pavement after she hurled her guts out? Surely, Minho’s nameless twerp of a pal wouldn’t take kindly to that. 

Things took a turn for the worse once they reached campus. Y/n became the sole recipient of the student body’s hatred as well as the personnel. If the hearing wasn’t in a few days, she would surely be used for target practice. Some of the students ignored her completely. But it wasn’t the kind of effortless disregard she’d been experiencing for years, but a conscious refusal to acknowledge her existence. If anything, that made her feel more visible than ever before. 

It being Tuesday meant she had no classes to attend that were taught by Orlova. Still, she wasn’t allowed to sit where she usually did. Given that Minho was two years older she couldn’t be supervised by him while simultaneously attending her classes, not that anyone gave a shit whether or not she did. However, to accommodate everyone’s needs, Principal Jiang decided that she had to be seated next to Hwang Hyunjin for reasons unbeknownst to her. Maybe it was his good looks. Maybe he simply was just that good of a fighter and could knock her out. Doubtful. Even the rats in her apartment could do that with a little effort. 

They didn’t exchange one word throughout each morning class. From the corner of her eye, she spied him spinning his blue pen with his fingers as if it were second nature. His eyes were glued to the board as Professor. Magnus Voelker explained the mechanics of the advanced cameras used in surveys conducted by NASA, and normally hers would be too. This was robotics after all. Thankfully, he never caught her fleeting glances. Even as he escorted her to the dining hall, his behavior was the embodiment of nonchalance. He must be quite confident that, should she try to escape, he would put an end to that fiasco. 

Once they reached the dining hall, Minho took over and Hwang Hyunjin left her side to join his friends at their usual spot. After that, it was Minho’s turn to stand guard whether that be on the line to pick up her tray or at her table. She didn’t make it to the latter. 

“What’s she doing here?” A voice frothing with venom cut through the hall. The only sound remaining was that of someone’s heavy breathing. “What the fuck is she doing here?” 

Minho cursed under his breath, and Y/n turned to meet the source. A girl with almond brown hair whom she’d seen in some of her classes, whose name she couldn’t recall, stormed her way only to be held back by a young man with a stocky build. She struggled against his hold. He whispered something in her ear, which only added fuel to the fire. 

“No, what?” She snarled, pushing him off after he muttered something only the girl could hear. “What, we’re just supposed to be cool about it? Let her stay here and stink the whole place up?! What about Juliana, huh? Ruth?” Her hazel eyes flashed as they landed on Y/n, and she stormed over. “Why are you just standing there? Get out!” 

Before she could get her hands on Y/n, whose hands were shaking to the point where the bowl of tomato soup had spilled halfway and the utensils clattered against the tray, Minho stepped in between them. 

“She can’t. I’m supposed to guard her and right now I want lunch.” He glanced back at Y/n. “She stays.”  

The girl didn’t take kindly to that. Her face betrayed her innermost feelings; betrayal, incredulity, and, lastly, loathing. 

“Fucking traitor.” She spat, slightly lowering her voice. “Ruth was your sister too.” 

“Yeah, she was.” 

The girl tried to push him but he caught her hands. 

“So why are you protecting her?” 

“Protecting?” Minho let go of her wrists. “That’s not what I was assigned to do.” 

She dug two fingers into his chest and bit out. “Lapdog. That’s just what you are.” 

Y/n couldn’t handle the way everyone was staring, watching the fight unfold as if it were a freak show. It wasn’t fair for Minho to be insulted in front of everyone just for trying to fulfill his duty. 

Trembling, she stepped up from behind him, and said, “I don’t want to be here any more than you do.” 

Minho placed a hand on her arm. “Don’t interfere.” 

The girl redirected her wrathful gaze to her and knocked the tray out of her hands. The utensils clattered to the ground. The porcelain bowl shattered and the soup spilled, splatters of it landing on Y/n’s new jeans and shoes. Never before had she been so mortified to be seen. She’d wanted it for so long and now she was receiving it in the foulest way possible. Through all this, she missed the way one of the students left his seat. 

“You and your sister,” The girl growled, hand wrapping around her neck and pushing her down to the floor. Minho intervened but was having a hard time overpowering her. Y/n found it difficult to swallow her fear, her energy spent on trying to claw the girl’s hands off of her. “Are the worst thing to have happened to this world. Filthy fucking creatures.” 

“Cleo, that’s enough!” Minho yelled, still trying to get her to let Y/n go. 

One of the male students sprinted over, grabbed Cleo by the arm, and dragged her away. The latter screeched and thrashed but the muscular male warned her not to try anything else. Minho helped her to her feet, and she finally felt like she could breathe, wheezing more like it. 

“Let me go! Am I wrong?!” Cleo pointed at Y/n once the demigod he’d let her go. “Everyone thinks so! They’re just too chicken to fucking say it. She and her disgusting worm of a sister should be cut up and thrown into Tartarus. Their kind brings nothing but misfortune. You know I’m right! It’s the truth!” 

Y/n suddenly became aware of someone else’s touch on her shoulder. Someone who wasn’t Minho. 

“You’re the reason we can eat.” Cleo’s lips tilted up at the corners. “And soon, the worms are going to eat your sister.” 

“Hey, now that’s wrong.” Said the person who stood next to her. His bleached hair and soothing, deep voice should have given him away. But maybe he hadn’t spoken until now. “She’s just a little- 

“You stay out of this.” Cleo cut him off sharply. “This is none of your business.” 

“But you- 

“Shut the fuck up!” 

“That’s enough!” 

A voice boomed that shook Y/n to her core. It was as if one moment she’d been sailing on a rocky boat in the middle of nowhere, the storm raging all around her, and then a grounding silence. She looked to the right, where a male demigod⸺ firmly built, with curly dark brown hair, and eyes that might be sweet but right then expressed stern disapproval⸺ crackled with power as he took in the scene before him. Even Cleo stopped her kicking and screaming at the sight of him, as did everyone else. 

“The hearing is four days away.” He stated, fixing all of them with a look that warned them not to act stupid. “If any of you have any complaints about her being here, take it up with Professor. Laqueus.”  He shepherded the crowd back to normalcy, quelling the heated blood between them and Y/n (if only momentarily), and tasked the other demigod who had previously stopped Cleo from choking her to death with accompanying the girl back to her seat. Knowing better than to disobey, she marched back to her seat with him in tow.

Minho leaned in and whispered, “Let’s go, Y/n. I doubt you want to eat here after this.” 

Before they began to walk out, he looked back to see Lee Felix walking back to his friends. 

“You should hurry up.” Felix seemed surprised, his eyes widening, to hear Minho talk to him. “Lunch is almost over.” 

Y/n didn’t get the chance to thank him or even see his response to what Minho had just said. He was eager to get out of there, possibly even more than her. 

One thing about Lee Minho? He didn’t bother changing her mind when she headed straight to bed right after they went back to his apartment. There wouldn’t have been any use in it. She was but a corpse standing; her neck black and blue, no food in her system, and wounds that wouldn’t heal. Whatever he had to say could wait. 

Hours later, sometime past10 PM, Y/n was awoken by a series of knocks at the door and Minho stepped into the darkness of the bedroom. She didn’t remember pulling the curtains shut, having passed out on the bed almost instantly after her body had hit the mattress. Maybe he’d thought they would help her sleep better. Now, he drew them to reveal the view of New Rome stark against the night. Y/n could swear this was when the city came alive. 

Minho turned on the bedside lamp to her right and set down the tray of food. It took some time for her to finish the bowl of tomato soup as it hurt to swallow. When she was done, he put it aside.  “We should talk about what happened.” He said with a serious look in his eyes. “The whole truth.” 

Just as it hurt to swallow, it hurt to speak. When she did, it sounded airy and raspy, like a small rock chafing against a boulder. It came out broken the first few times until she resolved to speak slowly.  “How can I trust you won’t twist anything just ruin Luna’s life?” 

“You can’t. I just think that since you’re going to be living here for a few weeks we should at least come up with a plan. For that,” He paused as if considering his next words carefully, “You have to tell me the truth.” 

Y/n looked down at her hands. The soft flesh where her nails had been had begun to itch. 

“Those don’t sound like your words.” She muttered. 

Minho sighed audibly and got up. “Professor Hajjar is doing his best to come up with a solid defense strategy. I’m just helping him.” 

He sounded sensible enough but giving away information just like that wasn’t something he or any of his friends would do if they were in her shoes. In fact, Y/n was willing to bet they would withhold it just because they could. They would do it for fun. It pissed her off that he would demand it of her. 

Y/n tried to tear her eyes away from her fingers but they ached and itched miserably. She wished there was a tool to scratch them and relieve her of the discomfort. 

“I’ll tell you,” she said, looking up at him. “Under one condition.” 

“You’re in no position to place conditions.” 

“Then I won’t tell you.” 

They held each other’s gaze, which was no small task for Y/n. She tried her hardest not to let trepidation show in her face, even if the golden glow of the bedside lamp was the only source of light in the room. Downstairs, a cry of frustration was heard, sounding a lot like the Beomgyu guy, but not even that succeeded in destroying her efforts. On the other hand, Minho didn’t seem all that affected. He took a few steps backward to lean against the side of the closet. 

“Shoot.” He said. 

“I want to see Luna.” She shot him a pleading look when he looked away. “Professor Hajjar got you in, didn’t he? When you came to visit? Then he assigned you to- 

“It isn’t up to him.” He revealed. “It was Professor. Laqueus who assigned me to you. Professor. Hajjar used to be one of her students and her protégé, which is why he managed to put in a good word for me. It was easy for her to believe I wouldn’t allow you to do as you please.” 

Recalling recent events, it was easy to see why. “Because Ruth was your sister.” 

Minho nodded. 

“Convincing her to let you see your sister won’t be easy.” He remarked. “She doesn’t stand to gain anything from your reunion.” 

Y/n swung the covers off of her and sat at the edge. 

“But she does.” She appealed. “If she allowed me to see my sister, she could learn the truth. I would tell her.” 

Minho stared off into space, a thoughtful expression taking over, as she anxiously waited for his response; fingers clenched around the baby blue sheets.  

“I’ll tell Prof- 

Minho had barely gotten out those few words before she threw her arms around him. 

“Thank you!” Y/n squealed into his neck. 

Anyone else would have pushed her off and called the cops on her. She was a stranger known by all, including Lee Minho. He didn’t owe her anything, but if he was willing to negotiate on her behalf, she would be in his debt. Yet he let her wrap her skinny arms around his fit frame and pat her head. 

“Don’t get your hopes up, though.” He told her in an attempt to set realistic expectations. “She could refuse to bargain just to spite you.” 

She could. But maybe she wouldn’t. There were only two people who might be able to provide a smidge of concrete proof. A testimony of sorts. Luna must be refusing to talk or they wouldn’t be hounding Y/n about it, and the latter would keep her mouth shut unless they agreed to her terms. Putting them on the spot was a risky gamble. If only she weren’t in a tight spot herself. 

In cold sweat. That’s how Y/n awoke. The fog from her dream seeped into reality, making it hard for her to even tell the time when she looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was 2:19 in the morning. She felt her cheeks with the back of her hand, sweeping the damp strands of hair away from her face. Cold, clammy flesh. Everything, from the shirt that stuck to her skin to her parched throat, would have been worth it if she could remember what the dream had been about. Only a nightmare would have her panting so. 

Too afraid to go back to sleep, Y/n sat up, back against the dark blue headboard, and listened to the life of New Rome. It had dulled a little, settling into a hum with only irregular intermissions of car engines revving in the distance. The city lights grounded her but it wasn’t what she wished for. She wanted calm. Silence like never before. She wanted to hear Luna’s voice. She needed a towel and a glass of water. 

The shadows in the room swam before her, performing for her and only her. In them, she saw leaves, rain, a child’s smile, hands clasped around another pair, buildings rising from the floor until back to it they returned, crumbling. She waited for an encore but nothing danced across the walls. Not a peep. Just as she was about to give sleep another chance, a bout of unintelligible whispers flooded into her ear. Y/n squinted in the dark. The shadows seemed to rain horizontally, droplets splashing on the wall with each sound. Could that be a hallucination? 

“…dated her.” 

Curious. Why would the shadows try to gossip with her about people’s dating lives? Why did the voice sound so familiar? There came a sigh, and after that, the sound became clearer. It was as if she were a participant in the conversation. It left her mouth feeling drier than before. 

“What does that have to do with what happened?” 

That voice she could never forget. Silvery with peril swimming in each note, the presentiment of being shadowed in the woods. Hwang Hyunjin. The haze of sleep had dissipated and now Y/n was left frozen in her bed, clutching the sheets tighter. The sudden awareness that he existed in the same house, at night, chilled her to the bone. 

“Did you, or did you not receive her text message the night she was killed?” 

She recognized the other voice as belonging to Minho. A frustrated Minho. 

“I did,” Hyunjin answered. “I ignored it.” 

A tense pause, and then, “Why?” 

Hyunjin sighed once again. 

“Because there was nothing between us and I didn’t think anything serious was going on.” 

“Her message read ‘I’m being followed please help’.” Minho whispered in disbelief. “How the fuck is that not serious?” 

“She used to do that the first few weeks after we stopped seeing each other.” 

“After you broke things off out of nowhere.” 

Hyunjin scoffed and when he next spoke, it was as if the temperature in Y/n’s bedroom had dropped at the very least 20 Celsius degrees. 

“I’m not going to be lectured by you, Minho.” 

The pitter-patter of the shadows played the rhythm of their breathing. Minho’s breath caught in his throat and he gulped down whatever he had meant to add. Hyunjin’s breathing was deceptively calm as if the conversation had meant next to nothing to him. Y/n wondered whether he looked the same or if there were, by any chance, a hint of a frown or a sneer. Some trace of malice to cement her opinion of him. 

But what if he wasn’t even there? What if this was but a figment of her imagination, tricks that her mind was playing on her to make up for Luna’s absence, trying to make her feel in control of something as primordial as the dark? It was a fact that nothing was under her control, try as she might. Maybe her mind was desperate for the illusion of it. Any other demigod would not have questioned the veracity of their visions and jumped straight into theorizing or action. Why couldn’t she do the same? Why did she feel stranded?

Y/n sat at the edge of the bed, stopping just to listen to the sound of footsteps disappearing down the corridor. One of them had already left, but if she managed to catch sight of the other then that meant her vision had been true and not a hallucination. She forced her legs to walk and all but held her breath as she opened the door, fearing it would squeak. Leaving the door slightly ajar seemed like the safest option if she wished to be silent. Descending the stairs to the floor below had her heart pumping outrageous amounts of blood. She could hear it rushing throughout her veins. Her ears buzzed with it. 

“You look scared.” 

She almost jumped out of her skin in the living room. He sounded so close, almost as if he was breathing down on her neck, but when she looked to the left, she saw him leaning against one of the glass walls. He was still in his training attire, his hair still matted from practice. Had he truly been practicing late into the night? How had Y/n not spotted him when she could literally see in the dark?  He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to respond. 

“I was- I was thirsty.” She stuttered out. 

What was she supposed to say? That she woke up out of breath and that the shadows hijacked their conversation so she could eavesdrop? Whatever they had spoken about was clearly supposed to remain between them and them alone. Hwang Hyunjin might actually kill her if she told him the truth. 

He walked up to her slowly. They were almost face to face when she noticed his hair was no longer in a half-up-half-down hairstyle. Damp strands clung to his beautiful face. His dark eyes rove over her face, gleaning information from each micro expression of hers. 

“Is that so?” He said, and Y/n couldn’t tell if he was genuinely asking or mocking her. 

Hwang Hyunjin studied her for a few seconds longer before walking up the stairs. Shaken, Y/n went to the kitchen and drained two bottles of water, taking a third up to her room. At least she wasn’t becoming a victim of her own mind. 

****************************************************************************************** 

Minho had promised to speak with Professor Hajjar before classes started and, though he didn’t divulge much in the way of details, he had kept his promise. It was a great start to the day. Luna and her would soon be reunited. 

In all of her classes, she sat by Hwang Hyunjin. He was just as silent as the day before, spinning his pen, jaw propped on his palm as he absorbed the lesson from start to finish. It was a miracle Y/n jotted down a few sentences considering how distractingly nice he smelled. She hoped he didn’t notice her passing glances. Truly, it was embarrassing how secretive she was with it whereas he stared at her unflinchingly whenever he pleased for however long he saw fit. Not a care in the world if it made her uncomfortable. Why couldn’t she do the same? Why was she so embarrassed to look at him as they walked alongside each other from class to class, when their classmates would approach him during breaks to fool around, or when he handed her back to Minho like a fish that he’d been asked to take care of while the latter was away? 

Other than that, things went as smoothly as they could, given the circumstances. Cleo didn’t get a chance to choke her as they didn’t share any classes and Y/n didn’t have lunch with the rest of her peers. She didn’t need to. Minho had taken the time to prepare their lunches (two boxes with ham sandwiches and something he called pesto sauce, sliced apples, peeled oranges, two pop tarts each, and a nasty concoction that she’d been so curious of that Minho had offered her a sip). They finished their meal in an empty classroom. No one around. Voices drifting from outside the door. 

After classes were done for the day, the two of them headed to the Training Centre. Y/n had been secretly hoping he would let her skip today as well, ashamed of her lack of everything. Everything that made a demigod a demigod, save for supernatural abilities, she lacked. Agility, marksmanship, strength, speed, stamina, endurance, resilience. It was just too late.  

“If you don’t master the conventional pin forget about doing anything else,” Minho repeated for the fourth time since they’d started training with knives. 

“I know.” Y/n huffed. “I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to just know.” 

Minho collected the knives that had clattered to the floor after her failed attempts and placed one of them in her palm. 

“How could you when you’re not even present? You’re not even trying.” 

Before she had the time to sulk about how he didn’t realize how difficult it was for her to get the fundamentals of knife-throwing down, a demigod she didn’t know approached them and whispered something in Minho’s ear. Y/n pretended she was busy studying the handle of the knife, but anyone could tell she was snooping. It was considered a bad habit but it had become second nature over the years. When the other student had gone on his way, Minho quelled her curiosity. 

“I have to leave.” He told her. “Principal Jiang has called for me.” 

Then who was going to train her? Was she to stay there and practice on her own until she managed to make it stick at least once? 

“Should I leave without you?” Y/n asked as she watched him pack his gym bag. 

Minho shook his head and took a swig off his water bottle. 

“No, it’s forbidden.” He shot a glance across the room, where his friends were taking turns plunging knives into the target board. It seemed fun when they did it. “Hyunjin will take over while I’m gone.” He slung the strap over his shoulder and said, “See you at home.” 

He approached his friends and had a word with Hwang Hyunjin who she could swear rolled his eyes at her. Asshole. It wasn’t like she wanted to be taught by him either. With Minho gone and Hwang coming toward her, the room seemed to have shrunk to the size of cardboard box. She wanted out. 

He glanced down to where she ran her thumb across the handle of the blade out of uneasiness. Still, Hwang said nothing of it, choosing instead to look up into her eyes again. Y/n averted her gaze, breathing in. 

“Should I throw?” She suggested. 

A beat later, he plucked the blade from her hold almost as easily as a flower in a pot. 

“No need.” He said simply, shooting her a bored look before walking up to the designated line. “Watch.” 

Hwang Hyunjin must have been born with a blade in his grip. The fluidity of his movements and the speed with which he sent the blade flying while barely looking in the direction of the target board had her gawking. Minho had mentioned before that while he was great, Hyunjin was phenomenal. It’s just that with everything moving so fast, Y/n hadn’t given it much thought. Now that she’d seen it for herself, there was nothing she could do but open and close her mouth like a stupid fish. 

As he walked back to her after retrieving the knife, Y/n pointed at the board. 

“That was- how did you do that?” She stuttered. “Is there some kind of trick to it?” 

“Get in position.” 

The admiration faded as annoyance took its place. He could have at least answered her question, however stupid it might have sounded to him. Had it sounded stupid to him? 

“The first thing you need to consider when throwing is the distance.” He explained, and suddenly Y/n was all ears as he got behind her, parting her knees and adjusting the angle of her torso. “It determines the number of rotations. The closer to the target you are, the fewer rotations you need to land a critical hit.” 

Y/n nodded, all too alert. “Okay.” 

“Adjust your grip.” He instructed, breath fanning the apex of her cheekbone as he fixed the placement of her fingers along the handle. “Didn’t Minho teach you this already?” 

“He um- he did.” 

“Follow his instructions.” 

“I’m trying.” 

Hwang Hyunjin scoffed. “No, you aren’t.” 

Y/n caught her bottom lip between her teeth to prevent herself from crying for no apparent reason. Was she embarrassed or did she feel wronged in some way? 

“Minho said the same thing.” She said under her breath. 

Y/n felt his hair graze the shell of her ear as he leaned forward, his chest brushing against her shoulder as nimble fingers guided hers. 

“Hold it up here,” Hyunjin coached. “The farther you move from the target, the higher you need to relocate your grip. Even though it comes down to strength at one point, the grip is still crucial.” He distanced himself, taking his pleasant body heat with him. “Throw it.” 

Y/n looked back just in time for him to raise an eyebrow at her reluctance. That straightened her up real quick and she sent the knife flying. Something was wrong and Y/n couldn’t pinpoint what. Had she not exerted enough strength? Had she let go too soon? Either way, the blade clattered to the floor and she was forced to make the walk of shame to retrieve it without meeting Hwang Hyunjin’s eyes even once. He was probably rolling them again anyway. 

When she got back, blade in hand and eyes on every surface but him, he spun her by the shoulders and parted her knees with his own. Hands at her waist, he adjusted the angle of her torso. 

“Breathe in. Tighten your core.” She could feel his chest rise against her back with each instruction, “Throw. And this time,” The mocking lilt of his tone made her shrivel with shame, “Try to make it stick.” 

With that, Hwang’s body heat parted from hers and Y/n felt like she could breathe at last. It was a few seconds until she could do as he’d commanded, and even when she felt confident that it would at least reach the target table she was met with the sound of the knife clattering pitifully on the floor, a few feet from the table. Involuntarily, she looked to Hwang and once she did, she couldn’t look away. His boredom was palpable. 

“You’re so weak.” He remarked. “Too pitiful to even call you prey.” 

That Hwang Hyunjin was bored out of his wits, she could understand. That he was also callous and didn’t have her good interests at heart it was hard not to notice. But he had a job to do when Minho was unavailable; he had to guard and teach her. He wasn’t happy with it? Big fucking deal! Neither was she. None of this was going to get Luna out of the lab or keep her alive, and with the way he always spoke it was becoming increasingly more difficult not to claw at him like a harpy. 

“Is that why you’ve been staring me down like a creep?” 

Both Y/n’s glare and question were met with an impassive look as if he couldn’t give less of a shit even if he tried. 

“Is that why you ran away that night?” Hwang countered. 

Her limbs froze. She scanned the room for places she could use as shelter for when the sentries came for her. The only thing she could think to do was bolt for the exit. But she’d be caught and Luna would be all alone and it would all be his fault. 

“I didn’t run away.” Fuck, she was gasping for breath. 

Hwang scoffed, slapping the flat side of the blade against his palm. “Of course you didn’t.” 

The bastard was definitely taunting her and she couldn’t force him to stop. She couldn’t force him to do anything. On the other hand, he could. There was no place she’d rather be than anywhere he wasn’t, even if it was just for a few hours. Getting to Minho’s penthouse would get Minho in trouble, that’s for sure, but if she didn’t get away from Hwang Hyunjin, she’d pass out from poor respiration. 

Y/n had just started to make a break for it when she heard it. 

“Leaving already?” He challenged. She turned back only to see he was spinning the blade with his fingers. “You must not want to see your sister after all.” 

Y/n glared because she did. There was nothing more she wanted at that moment than to see her little sister. How dare he state otherwise? Was he taunting her again? Was it something else? A threat maybe? Would he really tell the higher-ups about what had happened that night and cast more suspicion upon Luna? 

While Y/n was busy chewing on her bottom lip, contemplating whether to try to run away (key word; try) or just swallow the fear Hwang inspired in her, he had pushed himself off the wall and sauntered toward her. Slowly, without her realizing, he’d led her back to their spot. 

The demigod placed the blade on her sweaty palm and, in an even voice, commanded, “Be a good little student and get in position.” 

Trembling fingers wrapped around the handle, Y/n did as she was told. 

When Minho came home later that evening, he knocked twice before Y/n eventually grumbled in response and he entered. 

“We don’t bite so come downstairs and eat with us.” He said, palm planted on the doorway as he peered at her bundled-up shape in the darkness. She buried her face under the blanket. “Y/n.” 

“Who else will be there?” She spoke, her voice muffled. 

Minho sighed and she could hear him approach her bed. Her fingers tightened around the edges but he pulled them off her with ease. 

“As I said,” He turned on the lampshade and walked away like he hadn’t interrupted the first decent nap she’d had in a long while. He’d changed out of his training gear, now in an eggplant purple hoodie and grey sweats, and the pleasant scent of mint lingered. “We don’t bite so come down or you’ll go to sleep without dinner.” 

Y/n planted her elbows on the mattress. 

“Haven’t experienced that before.” She groused. 

Minho laughed softly. 

“Smartass.” He muttered before vanishing down the corridor. Didn’t even bother to shut the door. 

Y/n looked around the room, examining the expanse of the wall before her for dancing shadows or morbid visions. Only after she felt certain neither would plague her for the time being did she pluck up the courage to go wash her mouth and face and join the rest of them for dinner. Surely enough there they were, eating slowly as they talked about… whatever it was they talked about. All of that died down when she pulled out a chair next to Minho. Only momentarily though. They were back at it in no time, pretending that she didn’t exist. 

The first thing she noticed was that there wasn’t a fork or a spoon but two chopsticks. She’d never used them in her life. Hadn’t had a reason to. 

“Hold them like this.” Minho showed her the proper way to hold them and the clamping motion. It took a few tries for her to get the gist of it (she sucked). “And don’t eat too fast.” 

She couldn’t eat too fast. It made her feel sick and she’d end up vomiting on their precious tapestry. Gods knew how much it had to cost. 

Y/n was trying to finish her bowl of rice when Choi Beomgyu spoke to her for the first time ever. 

“How did you kill them?” 

She couldn’t move a muscle. All eyes were on the two of them. “What?” 

“Gyu stop this bullshit,” Minho warned. 

Beomgyu waved him off, smiling like the insensitive idiot he was. 

“Ruth and Juliana.” He chirped as though he was asking her if she preferred dogs over cats. “How did you kill them?” 

Y/n shut her eyes. “I didn’t.” 

“So, it’s true then. Your sister did?” 

“No, she- 

“Such a little girl with such an appetite for bloodshed.” He sing-sang. “Truly, a monster of all time, isn- 

The bowl and the chopsticks clattered to the floor, the sound of metal hitting the floor and porcelain shattering rining throughout the living room. 

“Shut up!” Y/n shrieked, eyes still shut tight. “Shut up! Shut up!” 

Minho barely managed to get her to sit back down (she didn’t even remember standing up), when Beomgyu spoke once more. 

“Don’t get all riled up now.” His did not sound as chipper as before. Perhaps the young man was afraid of what Minho might do if she broke any more bowls because of him. “I’m just asking since we’re living under the same roof you know. It’s not like- 

“We didn’t kill anyone.” Y/n scanned the table, studying their expressions. So muddled were her wits that each one, be that concern, fear, or intrigue resembled that of a pool of repulsion. “Not that you care.” 

With so much more than she wanted to shout but couldn’t find the courage to, and with the awareness that each step of hers was weighed down by someone’s acute stare, she walked up to her bedroom and got under the blankets once again. They’d shed the warmth and she had to rub her feet for a while until she got comfortable. She’d just started dipping her toes in the pond of dreams, light scattering at the edges of her vision as she readied herself to submerge when a knock dragged her ashore. 

Before Minho had the chance to say a word, for she knew what he intended to ask of her, she beat him to the punch. 

“I want to see my sister.” Her eyes remained closed. “Or I’m not telling you anything.” 

He let out a sound akin to a groan of exasperation. 

“The more you keep the truth a secret, the more they torture her.” 

It was as if a tornado had ripped off the eyelids from her eyeballs. Frantic, Y/n threw off the blankets and got to her feet, Minho following suit in an attempt to placate her. 

“Torture?” 

“Calm down- 

“No!” She pushed at his chest, her breathing getting shallower by the second. All sense was gradually being replaced by the gnawing need to maim. “You said they’re just- they were just running tests! She didn’t- she hasn’t done anything! You- 

“Y/n!” 

“What are you doing to my sister?!” 

His round, brown eyes widened in disbelief at her outburst, even though she’d just had one merely half an hour ago. 

“You think losing your shit will help her?” He jabbed two fingers at his temple. “Think, Y/n. Think. The only thing you can do for her is tell me the truth.” 

She was already in tears, sobbing as she wiped at her nose with the back of her hand like the disgusting fucking freak she was considered to be. 

“Take me to her.” She begged, looking up at Minho in hopes that he could answer the desperation in her eyes with mercy. “She has to know I haven’t abandoned her.” 

“I would if I could,” was all Minho delivered. “But they’d have both our heads for trespassing. The only way I can help you is through Professor Hajjar. Think about it. You think you have the luxury to keep your mouth shut? Not talking will only make things worse for you during the hearing, which is three days away by the way. Get this in that head of yours, Y/n. Your sister might be doomed either way but you have a chance to do something to save her, yet you choose to remain silent. If she dies, the fault will be yours. No one else’s.” 

That did it for her. Still shedding tears, she looked him in the eye with more hatred than she’d ever had the gall to show in front of another human being. Chiron had warned her not to, that they would treat her infinitely worse than they already had, that they would strip her of what little human rights she still possessed. But she couldn’t remember any of that. Not when Minho, who didn’t deserve her wrath, who wouldn’t hurt her even if she didn’t know that, stood before her, wearing the face of all the people who had hurt her. 

“You’re just like the rest of them. You want me to talk so then you have an excuse to be rid of me and Luna for good. You want us to rot in a lab until we die just so you can eat.” Y/n spat the following sentence through gritted teeth. “I wish all of you would just die.” 

Minho frowned. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he upset? Disappointed? So angry he could beat her to a pulp then and there? What was he feeling at that moment? Had she managed to wound him even a tiny bit? 

He simply reached inside his pocket, where he’d stored a small packet of napkins, and handed it to her before walking out without a word. Sleep did not come easy this time. The pond was dry. 

****************************************************************************************** 

If it weren’t for the stiffness of his shoulders whenever he spoke to her, Y/n would have thought last night’s conversation had been a hallucination. Minho made her breakfast, packed their lunches, bought her chocolate milk at the convenience store on their way to the university, and sat with her in an empty classroom once again. It was his duty to guard and train her. He didn’t have to take care of her, teaching her how to massage her muscles, buying her vanilla soaps and rose-scented shampoo, or even asking if she’d like to join them for movie night on Thursday. Truly, Y/n felt ashamed of the way she’d acted, even if those had been her genuine feelings at the time. Even though those same feelings persisted, she knew that he deserved an apology. But she didn’t know how to do it properly. 

In the library, as she sat one table away from Minho, Y/n brainstormed while occasionally glancing his way. Each time, his eyes were glued to the page. Each time, she felt a little more guilt-ridden.  At one point, someone took a seat opposite from her, and when Y/n raised her eyes, she was relieved to see him sitting there. It had only been a week or so since they’d last sat this close. He, of course, had made no effort to speak with her. Why would he? Kim Seungmin was not her friend. But she’d felt his absence nonetheless. 

“It’s been a while,” Y/n said, smiling. Though she was used to being ignored, this time it felt different. His eyebrows were tense and his mouth was set in too straight a line for it to be attributed to concentration. Cautiously, she tried again. “Are you angry at me?” 

Seungmin looked up then back down, turning the page. “No, but I will be if you keep talking.” 

Y/n felt cold with embarrassment all over and she did not speak again for fear that her throat would clog up halfway through the sentence. She had a feeling that would annoy him more. They sat in silence, each busy with their own tasks, until Seungmin did something he’d never done before. 

“Where did you get that?” 

Startled that he’d struck up a conversation, Y/n looked up from the page she’d been scribbling on. He nodded at the book that lay on top of her backpack. 

“I didn’t steal it I promise. Professor Hajjar gave it to me.” Yet she felt like a criminal still. She felt guilty, and it must have shown on her face because Seungmin deadpanned. Hoping to convince him, she added, “Do you want me to lend it to you?” 

“I have a copy back at home.” 

Y/n picked at her nailbed with the unmaimed fingers. “You must have read it front to back.” 

“Three times.” He specified, taking a pencil to jot down notes on the margins. “The third part, the one on the Underworld, is the best in my opinion. Elaborate without veering off track.” 

Smiling, Y/n flipped through the pages of the book until she found what he was referring to and dog-eared it. The shiver that ran through her was one of excitement. No one, other than Minho and Luna that is, bothered to talk to her. She had taken to having discussions with herself, asking questions that only she’d bother to try finding the answer to, whiling away the hours of the night when the stomach pangs kept her from much-needed rest. 

“You’re shivering again.” Seungmin pointed out, sounding just as disapproving as before. 

Y/n let out a sheepish laugh. “At least we’re not in the lab, right?” 

The young man made as if to speak only to look back down, fingertips toying with the top corner of the page. Y/n didn’t know what came over her. Maybe it was the way he pushed up his glasses, the slightly disheveled hair from when his friend had ruffled it during recess, or the knitted cream sweater over the white shirt that made him appear the complete opposite of the way he spoke. It was all completely irrational. At that moment, it just felt like the right thing to say. 

“You did the right thing.”  

Seungmin examined her face for answers the way he did with samples at the lab. 

“What?” He asked. 

“Ignoring me.” Y/n clarified, scrawling at the edges of her handwritten apology. “You did the right thing.” 

The confusion melted off his face, gradually replaced by understanding. He held her gaze for a few seconds longer before looking down once more. 

“It was the strategic thing to do.” 

Back at the apartment, things were rowdier than ever. Beomgyu had gotten the brilliant idea to just blast music as loud as he could without getting kicked out permanently, leaving Y/n with a brain-scrambling headache for the entirety of the evening. Eventually, Minho put an end to the madness, finally granting Y/n some time with her thoughts. 

Sitting in the shower, Y/n had never felt so clean yet so filthy. Her neck was littered with bruises it was hell to scrub at it. Her fingernails were so cracked and torn that it hurt to hold a pen. Despite the stretching and the massage, her muscles ached terribly. At night, she was plagued by visions, and every time she thought that sleep might alleviate the symptoms, she was proven wrong. 

She thought about the dining hall incident, Cleo’s rage, her fingers crushing her windpipe, and the repulsed acknowledgment of the other demigods. She thought back to when Luna had pleaded not to go to school but she’d forced her to, anyway. How Y/n regretted not having let her stay home and draw princesses on her little sketching pad. None of this would have happened. Luna wouldn’t be used as a lab rat, and she wouldn’t be faced with the choice of speaking or remaining silent. Both equally rotten. 

For the first time since… she didn’t remember when, Y/n bit into her arm to stop herself from screaming. The tears and snot ran down her face, making her feel all the filthier. The muffled screeches were the only way she could speak. She didn’t deserve to be spoken to. She should have stayed in that shabby hut in Camp Half-blood. She should have stayed in the forest with Luna. They never should have returned. She had convinced Luna it was for the best and look where that got them. She was so stupid she wanted to die then and there. She deserved to be alone. 

Minho called out to her from the other side of the door, asking if everything was fine. Y/n bit into her arm just a little harder, enough to draw blood, and then let go, affirming that she was alright. His footsteps receded down the corridor. 

In her room, as she arranged her backpack for the next day so the rest wouldn’t have to wait for her, Y/n spotted the book Professor Hajjar had gifted her. She recalled her conversation with Seungmin and thought about how, regardless of her choice, she would never speak to him again. Even if Luna was released, Y/n would never see the sun again. She’d be locked up in the lab, getting drained on a schedule as the years wore on, and the rest of the demigods would go on to explore the world, creating families of their own, and share urns with their beloveds. She would get cremated, her ashes cast into Tartarus. Then, it would be Luna’s turn. 

Y/n placed the book on the nightstand. 

Downstairs, Minho had just finished preparing dinner. She offered to help him set the table but he shook his head saying that Yeonjun was supposed to since he’d shirked his kitchen duty and that the least he could do was help him with the utensils. The taller demigod rolled his eyes, made an offhand comment about her damp hair, and got to work. With nothing else to do but wait, Y/n sat at the table and zoned out. 

Every time Minho snapped her out of it, she slid back into that empty space until eventually, Yeonjun had enough and snapped at her to just eat. Startled, Y/n picked up the spoon and tried not to let it spill. She was trying so hard not to cry again. She didn’t want them to mock her as a crybaby. Keeping her head down as she brought the spoon to her lips again and again, she didn’t know what kind of expression they were wearing as she swallowed spoonful after spoonful. If she did, she would have caught the glare Minho pinned Yeonjun with (the latter looking away as if nothing had happened), Beomgyu’s stunned countenance, and Hyunjin’s incisive gaze. 

Y/n placed the spoon in the empty bowl and before either Minho or Yeonjun could say anything, she beat them to it. 

“She started having nightmares a few days before Juliana was killed.”

<<<Chapter 2 Chapter 4>>>

[kithtaehyung]

I don’t wanna invalidate opinions but I would like to throw some things out there that might help reframe window for those who didn’t like it (and correct me if I’m off base here Ryen also I never properly talked about window yet so I guess this counts as part of it 🫣😂) but like….

Okay so feel like most media, especially the ones I grew up with is supersaturated with unrealistic, rose colored portrayals of intimacy, both platonic and romantic. Conflict is shown as only an external force that can be overcome with “true love.” But…love is not always enough. It’s a powerful motivator but it isn’t an airtight bottle you can shove all the difficult conversations and thoughts in until the pressure peaks . It’s only recently that creators are starting to push back against the cliche stereotypes that we’ve had for decades. And we’ve never had more diversity and freedom to be creative than we do now but we still have a long fucking way to go. There’s still a lack of depth that leads to expectations that can never be met. It leads to so much unnecessary disappointment with real life. And it’s lowkey toxic af. How is anyone supposed to know how to actually relate to another person, how to be a good friend or even how to know if someone else is being a good friend if we never get to see the little things. The small moments shared in silence, the tears, the misunderstandings, the effort it takes to stay feeling connected to someone else, to stayed connected to yourself.

Real intimacy is not a straight, even valley you need to pass in order to get to a beautiful meadow of “happily ever after.” Real intimacy requires patience, persistence, and communication. It’s a never ending fluctuation of real work. No one can give 100% all the time, but that’s why it’s shared. When you can only give 20 percent, the other person needs to be willing to give the other 80 and you have to be open to do the same. And most importantly it requires grace; the ability to be patient and forgive others when they find themselves being less than. Getting to have a peak into Yoongi’s mindset in 3tan is a privilege you can’t get in real life bc we’re not mind readers. In fact, it highlights that fact. We can’t know what others are thinking unless we ask and truly listen. Period. It reminds us that there are in fact two individually complex humans involved that have their own needs and wants and worries and doubts. And like communication between two people is one thing, but communication with yourself??? That takes a lifetime of conscious effort. You have to choose to improve, to self reflect. And it’s going to be uncomfortable, no might’s or maybe’s. But how can anyone know what they need in a relationship or what they can even bring to a relationship if they don’t sort it out with themselves first?

Reader and Yoongi have realistic flaws that they are not only aware of but are willing to work on in order to make a relationship work. They have internal battles they have to work through if they’re ever going to be able to fight the external ones. Instead of judging each other for how they’re feeling, they push each other to be vulnerable enough to share so they can listen and understand bc they want this. They want it all. Yoongi climbing through that window was him giving reader that 80 percent when she could only give 20. I also don’t think it’s fair to fault reader for that when we’ve seen proof they’re willing to do that for Yoongi too (I guess I haven’t seen what specific things people didn’t like about it so I’m making some assumptions). We saw it, staying to wash those dishes and refusing to leave unsaid thoughts floating just out of reach between them was her 80 when Yoongi was shutting down. She deserved an explanation to his change in behavior that felt complete and genuine and she was brave enough to stop hiding behind the coy words that were keeping them both safe, that they both were using as a shield. They were lucky, they got to hear exactly what they thought they could only hope for. But even if they hadn’t, at least they could walk away knowing they had done all they could. They could have mourned what could have been with less regrets.

And last thing before I step off my soapbox and end this Tedtalk (have we reached max capacity for metaphor yet??? 😂🤦🏽‍♀️), I understand that people use escapism as a coping mechanism (and like all things is def unhealthy in excess). I think it’s safe to say we’re all pretty much here for that. We’re on this platform and following and reading content from creators like Ryen who are willing and excited to share their work with us as whatever we need it to be bc we are looking for something to connect with. Ryen has stated multiple times she wants this to be a comfort for people and that it is one for her. It’s scary sharing a story like this so publicly. It’s intimate and revealing and she shared it knowing that she doesn’t have complete control on who has access to it. If you’re looking for a story that paves a smoother path then maybe 3tan is just not for you 🤷🏽‍♀️ and that’s more than okay. We’re so lucky to be in a digital age where a large portion of the population has access to an obscene amount of content. There’s going to be something out there that fits what you’re looking for if that’s what you want. But my completely unsolicited advice and hope for everyone is that they consume media that allows them to not only escape from the unpleasantries of life but also expands the way we might think about the complex dynamics of just…existing. Nobody has all the right answers but I bet if we all share the things that help and comfort us like Ryen does and meet it with “I’m so happy you felt you could share this with me and I feel like I know you better now” when it doesn’t fit into what we want or whatever expectations we create, then we’d all walk through this life feeling a little more understood and a little more understanding. And I’m not saying I don’t also enjoy and even love the easy, rosy happily ever afters. I do, but I’m beginning to understand that they give me something different than the complex and angst filled stories. I’m 100% not always up to diving into a story like 3tan that really gets me thinking and analyzing (this is like 1k words too late to say hi don’t perceive me and my many long winded 3tan reviews 🫣🙃😂 but like…shhh) and so when I’m not, I don’t 🤷🏽‍♀️. Luckily, for now, it’s there for whenever I want and that’s amazing. And when I do, I try really hard to put even a fraction of the work it takes the creator into my response/ reception BC WOW PEOPLE ARE SO TALENTED AND BRAVE AND DOING THEIR BEST.

If you made it this far, thanks for coming to my Tedtalk and welcome to my overthinking and exhausted brain. Did I write this on my flight home as a way to push back my post concert depression? Yes, yes I did.

(Ryen I love you and am endlessly grateful for your big beautiful brain and I hope you enjoy LA 🖤🖤🖤)

i…. i….. wow?? thank you?? what the hell do i even say to this i’m speechless🧍‍♀️

mikayla i guess i won’t say much (because you’ve pretty much said everything so eloquently and beautifully, and i barely slept on the whole flight here and am just now getting to lie down) but just know this made me feel a whole lot better. damn.

thank you for saying all of this. at its core, 3tan is about life. beauty in the mundane. extraordinary in the ordinary. a lot of my inspiration comes from hayao miyazaki, tbh, because i’ve been so enamored by the way he took time to add in the most simplest of things like fixing a shoe that wasn’t fully put on, or someone staring just a bit longer at the surrounding scenery. it’s those moments that i wanna capture here, too, because there’s something to love even in the milliseconds.

and as far as love and communication and trust and self-reflection, it’s been quite a journey writing this series bc even though i’m writing it, i truly feel like I’m learning and growing alongside these people, too. it’s been quite the pleasure, and i’m grateful as hell for anyone that’s here, was here, or will stumble across this series somehow. I wanna keep it a comfort series and one that, as you said, makes people think about their own journeys, too.

gahhh I really don’t have any other commentary bc you’ve said plenty and it’s incredible.. seriously, thank you. i’m unbelievably touched and will think about this tedtalk ask for a long, long time.

[kiwibirdlafayette]

I think Tom (and all his alts) strive for freedom…

OH ABSOLUTELY

I totally agree!! I think just like- the nature of Tom and his alts (who ofc meta wise were all written after him) is that they’re all dependent people of some kind, usually as the result of their circumstance of existence

Whether that be like in Tom's case because Dianite (or Mianite in Godswap, albiet different dynamic) is the one to grant him reanimated life, making him sort of indebted to him- or Cassell who isn't necessarily bound to his god moreso that he's bound to his creators (Flash and Ianite). Mot also sort of has that tether element to him because Dianite technically also saved his life from the creeper spore infection iirc but I think it makes the principle of freedom a little different to him esp. because it turned into like a business partners to unrequited crush to sorta lovers kinda thing depending on your post canon

All of this translates to me into their kind of devotion as champions, and again how that's like different from Ianitee flavored devotion (based on the guidance of Ianite and trusting in her judgement to lead them the right way so she can keep them safe), or Mianitee flavored devotion (Like knights to a king, similar to Ianitees follow orders for order, kind of follow his principles rather than specific instructions from him). Dianite being Dianite and the elements of chaos being how it is, Dianitee devotion is like being an extension of him, not via principles or guidance but by intent like being mercenaries in service of him while still being tethered in fear of punishment if its not done right. And maybe yknow they don't mind the implications that come with that title (Mot's case, for example) I think that's where that desire for freedom comes for- a want to have an existence that isn't tethered to their god

side note this could not apply as much to Dianite and Cass in Aitheaca because Dianite takes the Ianite role in terms of swapped god positions (and Cass runs off Dianite's guidance in the same way as Jordan would to Ianite) as Flash and Ianite are more similar to Tom and S1 Dia but bear with me xD

So kind of like extrapolating from that- their more specific desires for freedom are all sort of tied to Tom's need for spiritual freedom- I want to like refer to the whole thing of the Thauminomicon-y traits Marsh had mentioned before, and how Tom has 'fabrico', which stands for craft/repair. It connects in the sense of yeah he's a zombie he's stiched back together but. ok hear me out. Who would have stitched him back together? It was implied in an episode of Isles that c!Tom doesn't remember the Minecraft Project- (because they're memories he can't return to, just big empty void in his head), or when he was alive/ill from zombification, but he hadn't died yet. The person that arrives on Mianite with Tucker is that Tom, he is all that chaotic goofy Tom is, but at the same time he's partially someone else's creation, sewn together in intricate ways to be the bringer of chaos for the god he serves- but beyond that? His humanity. At his core, he's human, not someone who'll just take orders blindly and him striving for his freedom from that tether is refusing to deny the things that makes him alive. And I think the other alts like ya said follow suit, in Mot maintaining his humanity regardless of his ailment through choosing to care for Alyssa rather than being just a ruthless chaotic killing machine when Rux!Dia dies or in Aitheaca the way I want to write Cassell as someone who was born as a weapon for Ianite but loves collecting vintage human things and views his innermost self through music. The visual I kind of go to is the idea of Tom literally crafting and repairing the parts of himself that make him feel trapped by breaking them apart, burning it, adding new things when he takes the hands of friends and yeah!! And I think this sort of aspect could also tie into him becoming Mecha Dianite as well in finding freedom by choosing the person he is, and owning it

[blueathens]

Avenging My Father - AGAPE SERIES

                   ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN

SONG: Headspace by Lewis Capaldi QUOTE: “I just couldn’t like him the same way he liked me.”

A/N: Not proofread or edited - I changed this so many times - delay in posting this chapter

Previous || Next

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

For Bobby, both Buck and Kasey reminded him of Sal Deluca, a firefighter he reassigned to Station 122 not long after becoming Captain. The three of them regularly disobeyed his orders, Kasey, however, does it more often than Buck and more extreme than Deluca ever could. Bobby thinks it's her heavy survivor's guilt that constantly weighs her down.

If Kasey loses someone, she will forever feel like its her fault, even if there was no way in saving them, Kasey will still believe she wasn't good enough – that she was the reason they died.

Kasey never expresses this feeling though, not really, it's just something you figure out when you get to know her.

On her inner arm were the angel numbers '444,' she got this tattoo as it was exactly how she sees herself as – protection.

That she was a human shield that could take everyone's pain as long as it meant someone else could live.

Bobby thinks that Kasey sometimes forgets that she's human, just like everyone else, that she can't save everyone and be a protector for them all.

Bobby even thinks that Kasey will die at his hands one day as she won't follow the orders that are meant to keep both the team and civilians as safe as possible. Or it will just lead her to a lot of trouble in the near future, but today it was him that was getting in trouble, not Kasey, but as the tension rises, Bobby could feel that something was going to break within her, and someone will discover a truth that they do not like and use it to ruin her.

However, the truth was not going to be true, if Kasey's story didn't come from her mouth then it isn't true, but Bobby knows that someone will eventually one day mix up her words and use it against her thinking it's the truth, when it's not.

Kasey Strand was one of the best damn firefighters anyone could ever meet, and it was a damn shame that she held so much darkness that if it falls into the wrongs hand, it could ruin her, but today wasn't going to be day where someone ruins Kasey Strand.

But it is the day where Kasey begins to worry about her role as a firefighter as she walks up the stairs, not knowing that one of the best fire station captains has to be suspended from the station.

Today was the day Robert Nash was in danger.

"Hey, Cap." Greeted Chim, being the first one to make it up the stairs, seeing Bobby in his usual seat at the dining table. "Why are you sitting up here in your civvies? And how come I am not smelling my breakfast?"

Hen laughs, and Bobby puts on a fake smile, Kasey could tell, she could tell he was faking his happiness, she knew this as she too was a master of faking happiness, but she also knew Bobby and she knew he was faking that smile on his face.

She stuffed her hands in her pockets as she stood a little away from her team.

"Maybe you should all sit down."

Kasey's teeth sinks into her bottom lip as she mentally prepared herself for the worst.

"Oh," Hen frowns slightly. "This doesn't feel good."

Kasey rounds the table standing at the last chair of the table as she looked straight forth instead of at Bobby who now raised from his seat like one would to make an announcement.

"All right. I know the shift's about to start, but I wanted to be here to tell you this in person. As of this morning, pending further investigation, I am officially suspended from my duties here at the 118."

Kasey's face went blank as she pulled her best poker face at those words, when really she felt like something from within her was dying – Captain Robert Nash was being suspended. Bobby, someone Kasey has looked up to the moment she came here in 2016. The guy who has helped Kasey through so much in her life and tries his best to keep her on her feet.

Kasey didn't know how the 118 without Bobby, and Kasey didn't want to find out what 118 without Bobby was like.

"What? Why? That-That's insane. Suspended for what?" Buck stuttered out.

"For not disclosing what happened in Minnesota before I took the job."

Bobby watched as Kasey bowed her head, eyes closing as she gives a soft shake of her head to the table. Her jaw was firmly set, and her lips were pressed in the thinnest line one could ever see.

In the 118, Kasey Strand was the only one who knew about Bobby's past, and just like him he was aware of some of her past, something Buck has overheard through the passing years. And in their conversations between the two best friends, Kasey never dared to tell Buck that much about her life due to mainly fear.

"Minnesota? That's old news."

"Well, not to them and if they knew all the details," – like Kasey does – "there's a very good chance they never would've hired me."

Bobby related to Kasey in the fact that the pair shouldn't have ever been hired due to their past, but due to them both being able to hide it well they were able to join and become firefighters.

Kasey also knows it's her military background that was able to hide her old life for her to be able to have her new life here in LA with her previous firefighter training.

However, Bobby and Kasey are not bad people, they are very kind souls who just been hurt too much in the past, and due to that hurt it led them to places that suggested they shouldn't be having these new lives.

"Cap, you don't owe them that part of you," Hen speaks up. "You owe them your record."

Kasey wonders if that was why her old record was wiped clean and was replaced with a new one before and after the military due to her good work.

Furthermore, Kasey knew that out of everyone Bobby deserves his place in the 118, he was one of the nicest and most hardworking person she knew who would never put anyone in harm's way.

And her heart fell to the pit of her stomach knowing that his past was catching up to him and it was beginning to ruin his life.

"All the people you've helped." Buck continues.

"The lives you've saved." Eddie says.

"Well, I knew the truth would catch up to me one day," Bobby gives Kasey another glance, but she was still in the same position as she was the first time he looked her way. "I just figured by the time it did, it wouldn't matter. I'd have nothing left to lose. I was wrong."

By the time everyone slowly leaves and heads to do their duties around the firehouse, Bobby makes his way towards Kasey who has looked like she hasn't moved a muscle, but as he gets closer he notices her taking small, quiet, breaths, almost like she was trying to calm herself down from something.

Bobby places his hand on Kasey's shoulder and she jumps slightly as she takes a step back to look and Bobby. Her hands were behind her back as she blinked at him and shows him a small, sad smile.

"You're going to come back," Kasey says lowly.

"Kasey–"

"You're going to come back," she repeats, trying to convince the both of them. "They can't fire you. They just can't."

Kasey felt like she was six again after she sees her dad again after the 9/11 incident, how she felt so lost and just needed a parent's comfort, and the only parent that willingly gave her that was her dad, the guy she cried for as she watched the news, knowing he was there trying to save as many people as he could whilst also losing himself in the process.

Kasey felt like she was six again when Bobby took her smaller body and wrapped his arms around to comfort her like a father would for his daughter, rubbing her back as he promised her he'll be back working in the 118 soon.

But Bobby thinks he has just lied to Kasey.

"You're going to have to be careful, Kas," Bobby whispers. "They're going to discover the whole truth about me, and they soon could find yours, and if it's not you telling them, then they're going to believe in the wrong thing – the thing that's going to get you into a lot of trouble."

Bobby feels Kasey nod against his chest before she pulls herself away and pushes her the side of her hand against her nose before moving further back. "I should head down and–"

Bobby smiles, "Have a good shift, Kasey."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Barry Johnson, 57." Athena announces loudly as the 118 jump out of their vehicles, grabbing their equipment that were needed to attend the man that fell. "Seems to have had some kind of existential crisis after lunch. Threw all his money off the roof and then decided to jump it."

Buck whistled as he, Eddie and Kasey looked up to the said roof the man jumped from. "Wish I had that type of money."

Kasey hums, pursing her lips to the side as she turned her head to look at Barry on top of the broken car. "It probably make you very unhappy just like this man." She walks ahead, leaving her two friends behind as she brings herself closer to the injured man. Kasey wasn't carrying any bags of equipment, in fact she didn't simply feel like she was useful for something like this, she felt pretty useless as she just stands back and watch, at those times it doesn't even feel like Kasey is a firefighter, she just feels like a helpless civilian.

"Falls 20 stories and lives."

"20 stories? How is that even possible?" Questioned Buck as he walked slightly ahead of Hen and Athena, and Eddie joins them a second later.

"We also got a few greedy bystanders with minor injuries," Athena raised her finger to point at the small crowd right by them. "Not sure how you want to handle those." Athena takes a glance at Kasey who stood right by the, inspecting his body in hopes she be able to tell her team the injuries for them – at least then she wouldn't feel so hopeless.

"That's up to the Cap," Hen states just as Chimney leaves his vehicle and Kasey takes a glance over her shoulder and gives a quick roll of her eyes – she's been bossed around by Chimney too much and he has only been Captain for only two shifts.

Kasey was getting sick and tired of making coffees.

"Uh, interim Cap," corrects Buck, "this is just temporary until Bobby comes back."

"You keep telling yourself that, Buck." Chimney tilts his head back to stare at the roof the man jumped and survived from as he chewed on his gum. His attention then turned to Barry who groaned, and Kasey takes a step back, lips pressed together as her hands go behind her back whilst she stares down at her shoes.

To Kasey, the man just looks badly injured – meaning she has nothing important to tell her team as they would easily be able to see he's injured.

"Whoa. All right, I'll take spinal precaution." Chimney heads towards Barry, pulling Eddie's shoulder bag off from his shoulder. Chimney walks past the youngest firefighter and completely ignores her due to still being sour about her constantly backchatting him the moment he's become Captain.

He puts the bag down and begins to unzip it before pausing to look at his team who hasn't moved a muscle, but all held a confused look, "right, I'm the Captain. Uh, Hen, Eddie, you're with him." Chimney gestures towards Barry. "Buck, go with John. Triage the minor injuries. And I'll get the Jaws."

Kasey let out a low breath as she waited in the same position for her order, but it never came. And it felt like something else died within Kasey, it made her feel pathetic. This wasn't unusual, she hardly helped with the injuries as she never was able to get more training for it, not like the others in her team,

But when she sits in her car, before she attempts to try and sleep, she reads many medical books, reads the documents the chief sent her via emails, and watch those professional medical videos just so she can understand these things better – just so she can help her team in more areas.

But Kasey just stays there, still waiting for her orders, and she feels pathetic. Chimney was able to say at least a major injury that could have happened to him – which was injuries to the spine – but Kasey couldn't even state that, she didn't even think of the most obvious injury.

Of course there was going to be a problem with his spine.

The water in her eyes begins to build up until she couldn't see anything, her vision becomes blurry, and a huge rush of tiredness and numbness took over her. It was pathetic, she thought, why was she getting so agitated over this?

Over Bobby, over Chimney, over herself and over not being able to help?

Eddie and Hen look over their shoulders to see Kasey just standing there.

"Did Chim not instruct you to a task?" Confusion dripped from Hen's voice.

Kasey tried to speak but she knew if she did then the two of them would quickly realise that she was trying not to cry, and she didn't want them to know or she would feel more pathetic. It was minor things, she told herself, keep it together.

She just shakes her head before looking up at the roof once again and let out a shallow breath, not realising she was being watched by Eddie before he had to turn back to his work with a heavy heart.

Eddie Diaz was beginning to realise that Kasey Strand was not okay, and he began to question how long has she not been okay and how long has she been putting up a façade?

Eddie hated himself for not noticing sooner. The team obviously noticed that Kasey looked a little bit more tired than usual lately, but they all thought it was the extra shifts she kept on asking for that made her seem that way.

But to Eddie now, he thinks there's much more to that as seeing Kasey now, where she isn't putting up a façade as she doesn't know she's being watched, seeing her now expresses to Eddie the raw sadness and pain that emerges from her, and it was a type of pain that made you want to hold that person under a blanket, fire going in a corner, as words of 'you're enough' and 'let me help you,' would be whispered.

So he turns to Barry with a heavy heart as he realises he has only just noticed the true sadness that came off from his best friend.

"All right, Barry. I'm gonna give you something for the pain, okay? It'll take the edge off but you'll probably still gonna feel it."

"Can't you just knock me out'?"

"Sorry, I need you to stay with me." Barry groans once more at Hen's words. Eddie was now in the car, sat in the backseats as his feet where out of the door and planted on the pavement outside as he checks Barry's legs.

"Compound fracture, both legs." Barry grunts and shouts as Eddie continues to check him over. There was glass everywhere, even on Barry's clothes from where he crashed and feel slightly into the back windscreen of the car. His head was against the boot, ever so slightly elevated up so he wasn't laying on shards of glass, and around his neck was a brace.

"Hasn't lost bowel control."

"At least I got that going for me."

"These are all positives, Barry," Hen calmly says as Eddie climbs out the car to look up at the roof once more, trying to figure out how someone could survive a fall like that. "Means your spine's probably okay."

"Ma'am, you said you saw him fall?" Eddie asks the closest civilian to him.

"Yeah," she nods.

"How did he land?"

"Feetfirst," she whimpers.

"Couldn't even do this right," moans Barry. "This morphine's nice, though."

Kasey has moved herself to stand by the ambulance, leaning against the fire truck next to it as she watches Hen pushes Barry on the stretcher.

"You have anyone you need us to call?"

"My wife left me. My kids hate me. My only friend is suing me. next time, I go headfirst."

"You had all that money, though," Eddie states as he pulls the stretcher by the front, right by Barry's head as he walks towards the ambulance backwards. "Why'd you throw it out the window?"

"That money ruined my life. A year ago, I'd have thought it solved all my problems. Just multiplied them."

"Wait," the woman who made the call says, "wait, what-what happened last year?"

"I won the lottery."

Chimney closes the back doors of the ambulance, turns around and shrugs at the woman. "Careful what you wish for." The engine starts as Chimney walks away, the woman pulls out her lottery ticket from her purse and rips it apart.

Eddie clears his throat as he stands next to Kasey, shoulders brushing for as they stood next to one another. Kasey was only slightly smaller than Eddie, it wasn't a grand height difference, but it was a pleasant height difference.

Kasey's strained voice beat Eddie's in talking first as she asked him, "are you happy?"

Eddie opens his mouth, closing it, then opens it once more, but then he closes it and doesn't open it again until he found the right words. He ponders on that question as the both of them look ahead of them, watching as the crowd of people slowly move away and go back to their lives.

"Yes," he finally says, "but I know I can be happier – that I deserve to be happier."

"You deserve more than the world, Eddie." She whispers and Eddie could feel his face begin to heat up at her words, looking down at his shoes whilst he hides away his smile.

No one has ever said that to him before.

No one has thought of Eddie as that much before, but here Kasey was telling him he deserved more than the world, and it felt nice, really nice.

More than nice, in fact.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"So we're doing line ups now?" Buck questions as he stands tall in front of Chimney who parade around with his dark sunglasses as gum in his mouth.

"Stow it, Buckley." He then moves down and back up the line, "so, listen up. Because the word of the day is ' hose maintenance.'" He stops at Buck once again.

"Okay, I'm out," Hen says, and Kasey snorts and Chimney made his way towards the youngest firefighter – the only one who wasn't standing up straight, instead she was leaning her right shoulder against the wall, arms folded at her chest as she too wore sunglasses and chewed her gum mockingly.

"This is so stupid," she mutters just before Captain Chimney stops in front of her with his arms behind his back.

"Are you questioning my methods?" The other firefighters eyed the pair out from the corner of their eyes.

"Not questioning them," she simpered, "I'm saying it's stupid."

Kasey sits in front of Bobby at his place where the table was littered with things for a wedding, Kasey smiles faintly at it, before it falls as she looks back at Bobby.

"What if we put a blonde wig on you? They'll never notice that's it you. Then we can have both you and normal Chimney back," Kasey proclaims as she sits proudly at the fact that she just thought of the best idea ever.

Bobby gives a short shake of his head, dying her excitement down.

Kasey leans back in her chair, hands holding the back of her head, groaning. "This is just like Buck with a clipboard," she shakes her head. "Dark times. Dark times."

"I think Chimney is just trying–" Bobby stops himself from talking as Kasey throws him a warning look whilst she sits back normally on her chair. "Forgot what I just said," he raised a hand in surrender. "He shouldn't be annoying my favourite firefighter."

Kasey smiles, "I knew I was your favourite," she whispers in excitement, wiggling in her seat as she taps her fingers against the small available spaces of the table.

Kasey pauses her tapping as her phone vibrates in her pocket, she pulls it out and keeps it hidden under the table as she looks down at the messages popping up:

Eddie: Shannon thinks she's pregnant

Eddie: I'm not ready for that – I don't think I want that.

Eddie: I don't think I want this life with Shannon anymore, it's not the same as it was years ago. I did once love her, but I don't think it was to the point I was ready to be married?

Eddie: I think I lied to you on that shift where I told you I was happy. I'm not happy and I don't think I've ever been truly happy. Only times I know I'm happy is with my family, the 118 and you

Eddie: I don't know what to do Kas...

Kasey frowns as she types a message telling Eddie that she will be at his shortly and quickly turns her phone off at the sound of Bobby's voice. She looks up to see Bobby looking down at his notebook as he writes something down.

"You're coming to our wedding," Bobby tells her. It was in a way an invitation, by an invitation that said there was no way she was getting out of it.

"I thought it was established that the entire team was going?" Kasey questioned as she put her phone in her pocket.

"Yes but they can say no if they're busy, but you – me and Athena won't be truly happy if you're not there Kasey," Bobby puts his pen down as he holds his hands together in front of him, "Athena says she's happy as long as I don't pick the dress and that me, the kids and you are there." He smiles before giving a half shrug, "you're practically our daughter, Kasey."

Instead of something dying within her, something came to life, and Kasey didn't know how to handle that. But she knew, and so did Bobby, that the smile that stretched across her lips was one of true happiness and it was far from being fake.

"I wouldn't miss your wedding for the world, Cap."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Christopher deserves you, he deserves his mum," Eddie states at the dining table, Shannon sitting opposite him, and Christopher was at his abuela's. Eddie's phone was turned face up on the table next to his intertwined hands that were placed firmly in front of him as he looked at Shannon, ready to tell her that she wasn't the one who has his heart. "But I," he pauses to think of the right words, but for a break-up – for a divorce – is there actually any correct words to end a relationship? "But I don't think we deserve each–"

"Eddie," Shannon breaths, "I'm not pregnant."

Eddie stops and sits himself up more on the chair, clearing his voice before looking down at his lap and back up at Shannon.

"What?"

"I'm not...I'm not pregnant. I was just late."

"Oh." Eddie utters. "That doesn't matter, Christopher still deserves his mum, but I just don't think we could ever be tog–"

"I wrote this letter," Shannon interrupts once again, "a few years ago, right after I left. Or actually, after I...didn't come back. To Christopher. Trying to explain why I couldn't be there. And I figured that if, for some reason, I never found my way back, that he'd want answers. And he needed to know that...it wasn't his fault. That his mother didn't leave because she didn't love him. She left because she did. I never sent it, obviously. And then when I found out today that I wasn't actually pregnant, I took that letter out, I read it." She shakes her head. "Eddie, I never want to have to send that letter."

"Why would you ever?"

"Because if I try to do this again before I'm ready, there wont be a second chance." She takes a harsh swallow to keep back her cries. "Eddie, I'm not ready to be Christopher's mother, I'm just not. And I know...I know you asked me to come round to end us officially...for a divorce."

All Eddie could do was nod.

"And that's okay," Shannon whispers with a sad smile. "It's okay." She tucks her bottom lip as she gives a painful nod to Eddie. "Just promise me that your heart doesn't belong to anyone but Kasey. That it's her you want to be with."

"It's Kasey," Eddie confirms with a small smile which Shannon returns.

"Good," she sniffles. "That's good. You deserve each other, you know? I see the way you both look at each other, and I, I've never seen you that happy before Eddie. I've never seen anyone that happy before. And Christopher is so happy with her too. You two are good for one another, and I just need you and Christopher to stay happy." Shannon pauses. "Kasey is everything you and Christopher needs and–"

"Kasey doesn't feel the same way."

"How do you know?" Shannon raises her eyebrows. "You don't know if you don't ask her." She leans forwards to tap her hand against Eddie's. "Promise me you'll try with her because I'm certain she feels the same."

Eddie shakes his head in disagreement. "How do I tell Christopher?"

Shannon had no answer except her raising from her seat, saying a small goodbye to Eddie before leaving him alone on the dining table.

He picks up his phone and messages the first person his mind went to, completely ignoring the fact that she's coming later, he needed to speak to someone, and she was the only one on his mind.

Eddie: Shannon and I have agreed on getting a divorce

Eddie: She's not pregnant

Eddie: And I think she just walked out of Christopher's life

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"All right, make way! LAFD!" Chimney leads. "All right, John and Buck, triage the minor injuries. Hen you're with me. Eddie and Kasey, check the driver."

The pair goes to either side of the front doors of the car, Eddie crouching down in front of the red car's open door on the driver's side whilst he unzips his medical bag. "Ma'am, can you hear me?"

"I, um..." Kasey climbs into the passenger seat. "I tried to stop, but I didn't see any of them. Are they okay?" The woman stuttered out.

"Yeah," Kasey says in a gentle tone which carries a slight firmness to it, "we're taking care of the others, ma'am. Right now, we need to see if you're okay."

"Um, m-my neck hurts. Oh, God."

Eddie leans into the car slightly to wrap a neck brace around the woman's neck. "Okay, ma'am, we're gonna put this on you as a precaution until the doctors at the hospital can check you out."

Kasey pulls herself out of the car but stops and turns to look back into the car when she hears the woman stutter again.

"Th-There was a lady. Is-is she all right?"

Kasey head turns to look out at the road where the collusion happened, face falling as she notices and Eddie caught on as he watches her face drop.

'No, no, no, no, no,' Kasey repeated in her head, eyes down casting to the ground as she tries to figure something out, something that would hurt Eddie less. But that was humanly impossible because no one can make someone feel better after seeing some you care for get hurt.

"Kasey?" Eddie's voice reaches Kasey's ears. "What's going on?" She turns to look at him, face falling even further when she notices Eddie turning his head to look out onto the road too.

"Eddie," Kasey breaths before stumbling up to catch Eddie. "Eddie."

Kasey's voice became white noise to Eddie's ears as he rushed towards the woman on the ground. Buck touches him to hold him back but Eddie pushes past him, completely ignoring his and Kasey's calls for him. Chimney stops him next but just like Buck he pushes past and ignores every call he sends his way.

He couldn't hear anything except ringing in his ears.

"How bad is it?" He pants out as Chimney places his hands on Eddie's chest again.

Chimney thought about lying, but he couldn't lie to Eddie, Eddie doesn't deserve to be lied to.

"It's bad."

"Spinal injury?"

"Maybe worst."

Eddie didn't once look at Chimney, not even as he gently pushes past Chimney, pushing his hand away as he tries to reach him once again as he makes his way to his ex-wife, who laid in the middle of a crosswalk.

He kneels down, checking her over as he whispers her name and she greets him like it's a normal day with a simple, "hey." She then asks, "Are you here?"

"I'm here," he offers a small smile.

"Oh, God. This is so embarrassing."

Hen rushes to take the stethoscope out from her ears, "Vitals trending downward."

"All right, let's get her on the backboard! Get her transported, now!" Chimney yells whilst Eddie watches other paramedics take Shannon onto a backboard and places her into the back of an ambulance, but before she gets in her eyes finds Kasey's.

"Look after them," she whispers, but due to Kasey slowly making her way closer to Eddie she was able to hear, and she nods, smiling slightly to silently promise Shannon that Eddie and Christopher will be okay – Kasey will make sure of it.

"I'm riding with her," Eddie says in a voice that told everyone to not try and stop him.

"She's decompensating. We got to intubate her." Hen says just before Chimney dared to stop Eddie.

"Eddie," he places his hand firmly against Eddie's chest, "we put that tube in, there's a good chance it never comes back out." He looks over his shoulder as he notices Eddie's face. "Hen, stop. Do not intubate. Not yet."

"Cap..."

"I know." He looks back at Eddie. "He knows." He then gestures he's head to the back of the ambulance, "get in there and say goodbye."

As the ambulance goes, Kasey sniffles before climbing back into the fire truck, taking the drivers seat as she follows behind the ambulance that trailed behind another fire truck.

Kasey wasn't sure if God existed, but seeing such hurt written across Eddie's fast made her want to climb up to the clouds and murder every God up there for giving Eddie so much pain, pain that he does not deserve.

Kasey cursed them all for being this cruel to a man who didn't deserve any of this.

To a woman who didn't deserve this.

To a child who didn't deserve to lost a parent...

And the moment Kasey reached the hospital, she was the first one to hold Eddie after he showed himself again. The first one to catch him as he fell. And the first one to let him cry in her arms as he clings to her in desperation.

Eddie felt like a child again after he went to his first funeral, he felt like he was a young boy crying and wailing questions to his mum who had no answers about death.

Eddie didn't think he would be feeling this way again for a while, epically after the war, he thought he was going to be okay and that no one he cares about will leave again.

But Shannon did.

She was leaving him all over again, just this time she wasn't going to come back and be a mother to Christopher.

And after Kasey, it was Bobby Eddie hugged next, but he went back to Kasey the second he left Bobby's embrace and all Kasey could do was bring her hand up to his hair, running her fingers through the long locks as she hushes him gently and tells him that they're all here for him.

She doesn't once tell him that everything's going to be okay or that she's sorry, and Eddie appreciates this, he secretly didn't want anyone to say this, and somewhere within him he knew Kasey would be the last one to ever say those words...not until she knew for sure he was going to be alright.

Kasey didn't dare to say it to him though as she knew all he needed was to be held and be told that he has people – that he still got them.

And that was all she did.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

Vanessa Prescott has known Kasey Strand since her birth. Growing up, Kasey befriended Vanessa son, Kit Prescott, who was her childhood best friend before going separate ways just before Kasey went off to fight in the war.

Kit has lived here since 2015 with his boyfriend, but Vanessa moved down to live with Kit in 2017 after the couple broke up.

Then when Kasey came to LA in 2016, Kit and Kasey began to meet up with each other every so often which was later joined with Vanessa after she moved down.

Today, Eddie joins them after Kasey begged him to leave his house for at least an hour and not plan a funeral, she could see being trapped and stressed on planning a funeral was ruining him, and Eddie obeyed and asked if she was busy.

Which, today she kinda was for the morning, but she allowed Eddie to join her in the café that she, Kit and Vanessa was meeting in.

"You've got a kid, right?" Vanessa asked with a smile as she brought her coffee to her lips.

Eddie nods as a real smile dances at his lips for once, it's been a few days since the last time he really smiled, the only times he did was a few very small ones whenever Kasey was round to help look after Christopher whilst he plans Shannon's funeral.

Kasey would try and make jokes whenever Christopher was around to try and keep his spirits up, whilst also Eddie's, and it was nice to see how happy Kasey got whenever either Diaz let out a laugh or a smile.

It even convinced Eddie that soon him and Christopher will be okay, they aren't drained of happiness, and they will be okay again.

"Yes," he smiles. "Christopher, he's one of the best things that has happened to me." Pulling out his phone, he shows both Vanessa and Kit a photo of Christopher whilst Kasey literally beams at the interaction between the three of them.

"He's probably the cutest kid I've ever seen," Kit speaks up, "reminds me of a Koala," both Kasey and Vanessa rolled their eyes as they prepared themselves for Kit's rambles, whilst Eddie throws a questioning look whilst stuffing his phone back into his pocket. "Did you know Koala and human's have very similar fingerprints?"

Eddie shakes his head, "no, I did not know that."

Kasey leans towards Eddie to whisper in his ear, "he's crazy with these animal facts and–"

"Do you ever wish to be a penguin, Eddie?"

Kasey pulls away from Eddie as she stares at her red-headed friend with wide eyes, and she secretly tells Kit to cut it out with her hand moving across her neck.

"Penguins, in my opinion, are one of the most romantic couples in the animal kingdom. When a male finds attraction to a female he will bring her the best pebble and if she likes the offering then they will find pebbles together to build their nest. They even mate for life," Kit sighs as he rests his chin in the palm of his hand, "I wish I was a penguin, and someone would bring me a cool rock."

Vanessa gives Eddie a sympathetic look which leads Eddie to slight confusion because why are they apologising for Kit? He hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, he thinks it's cool that someone has this much interest in animals and happily expresses all tons of information to people like Eddie who aren't so educated in that world.

"You know," Vanessa says as she tilts her head to look at Eddie with a smile that a mother would give their child, "you're the first friend of Kasey's that we have ever had the pleasure in meeting."

Kasey slaps her hand into her face, shaking it in embarrassment whilst a smile makes it way onto her face as she listens to Eddie chuckle next to her.

She hasn't heard him properly since Shannon's death, sometimes there was a very small breathless chuckle here and there, but this time he was looking down with a smile on his face whilst laughter left his mouth.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Kit chimes in.

"I didn't know you wanted to meet them," Kasey said sheepishly as she looked through the gaps of her fingers. She sinks slightly down in her seat as Vanessa sends her a mothering look of 'are-you-for-real?'.

Kasey slowly sits herself up whilst Kit continues to talk, "you must be Kasey's favourite then if she happily allows you to meet two of her most favourite people ever. That must make you a dolphin then, they are Kasey's favourite animals. Did you know that dolphins–"

Kit's voice drowns out to Eddie's ears after he feels Kasey's hand intertwine with his under the table and she feels her gently squeeze his hand.

Out from the corner of his eye, he noticed that Kasey was still looking forwards and nods along to what Kit is saying.

It was only a few weeks ago when the two of them made up this method for each other, around the same time Eddie began to realise that Kasey wasn't okay. Whenever they wanted to secretly ask if the other one is okay, they would hold the others hand and squeeze it. If they squeeze back then they're okay, if they don't then they aren't.

They weren't allowed to lie to one another though.

Eddie likes this method as it doesn't bring attention towards them from other people, and if one of them weren't okay then they didn't need to voice it just yet. They never did it around eyes either, always doing it when or where people couldn't see them because if people saw them holding hands they would think it was something else, when it wasn't, it was just two friends secretly asking if the other is okay.

Yesterday, Eddie only faintly squeezed Kasey's hand at the funeral.

But today, Eddie squeezes Kasey's hand twice, and she smiles.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Help, over here, my arm!" The woman moans in pain from the ground as the 118 (still without Bobby) enters the bedroom.

"Guys."

"Yeah."

Hen presses lightly on the woman's hand, listening to her grunt slightly. "I can feel it, but I can't move it. Like, really hurts on my shoulder."

"Looks like a fractured clavicle." Kasey mutters and Hen and Chimney look up at Kasey with shocked looks whilst the firefighter simply shrugs.

"What?"

They shake their heads whilst they continued to look over the woman, "it does actually," Hen confirms Kasey's words and a small, proud smile makes it's way onto Kasey's face.

Curiously, Eddie glances over his shoulder away from the phone on the livestream to smile at the sight of Kasey looking proud of herself for something.

"All I'm saying," Buck voice brings Eddie's attention back as he continues his complaints from earlier, "is that Kasey never has taken me to meet Vanessa or Kit."

"They're nice," Eddie replies simply, smiling playfully as he listens to Buck sigh in annoyance – and his smile clearly brought a lot of attention to the people on the live stream as they commented the cuteness of it.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean you have to rub it in."

"Uh, dispatch said something about an animal?" Chimney asked whilst Kasey looked around the room for the animal.

"Yeah, it, um, came out of my face."

Kasey pauses her hunting and turns around.

Eddie stands next to Kasey with his hands on his hips. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"it was like a little, little worm."

"Like a maggot?" Kasey questioned as she tried to hid her disgust.

"Oh, don't say 'maggot.'"

"You know maggots only consumes rotten things like meat or waste or even overripe fruits and – Ow!" Kasey frowns as she rubs her side from Eddie elbowing her, shooting her a look before looking at the woman's disgusted face then looking back at Kasey with raised brows. "Oh...sorry."

"Think you've been talking to Kit too much," joked Eddie quietly.

"I can still here you," Buck muttered furiously but his voice changes to enjoyment when he spots the maggot on the desk. "Maggot!"

"You been out of the country lately?" Hen asks as she puts a cotton arm brace on the woman.

"Uh, yeah, I actually do a lot of traveling for work."

"What do you do?" Chimney wondered.

"Uh, I'm a beauty and fashion influencer."

"Has your circle of influence included Central and South America?"

Kasey watches in disgust as Buck picks the maggot up with a pair of tweezers and brought it closely up to his face to examine it before dropping it in the small plastic tub that Eddie was holding open for him.

Still, the three firefighters didn't know that they were on camera for a livestream.

"No, no. I mean, I did just get back from Belize."

"Belize is in Central America," grumbled Eddie.

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Botfly," states Hen as she signs a torch onto the woman – Becca's – face. "Parasite indigenous to Central and South America, including Belize."

Now Becca joined Kasey in watching Buck examine the parasite in the cylinder tub in pure disgust.

"They reproduce by trapping mosquitoes and laying their eggs on them. And then when the mosquito lands on you the egg hatches and crawls right into the feeding site."

"Ew."

"Lovely," Kasey voiced, face squeezed up whilst her eyes stays on her best friend who was still looking at the parasite with pureness – like this was one of the best things he has ever seen.

"Luckily, it looks like you got it out all in one piece." Buck says, eyes remaining on the parasite as he tries to bring good news to Becca.

"They'll be able to extract the rest at the hospital."

"The rest?"

"Think of them as new followers."

Buck chuckles and Chimney's comment.

"Gross!"

The team went round Becca to bring her up onto the stretcher. "Wait," she says as she eyes her phone. "Oh, my God, wait." She stretches her arm out. "No, no, no, no, can somebody grab my phone? No, go back. Hand me my phone."

Eddie and Buck notices the stream and both offer two very different waves to the camera before Eddie awkwardly makes his way to the camera to turn it off.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"118, 118, this is Dispatch," Kasey heard through her headphones. "We got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it's important."

"Bobby..." Kasey mutters as she shots Eddie, Chimney and Hen a worrying look.

"Wait, what? Dispatch?" Chimney says. "Dispatch, please repeat."

The fire truck in front of them blows up in flames and Kasey screams, hand on the handle of the door as she tries to open it, but it was still locked.

"Buck! Buck!" She screams. "Buck is in there!"

The driver finally unlocks the door and Kasey pushes it open and jumps out in a hurry, but before she can make a dash towards the truck in flames, Eddie grabs her waist and brings her into his chest.

"Kasey! Kasey! No!"

"Buck! Buck!" She struggled in Eddie's grip. "Buck is in there! I need to see Buck! I need – Eddie let me go!"

"Eddie get her behind the truck!" Chimney demands and Eddie begins to drag a fighting Kasey to hide behind the fire truck.

"No! No! No! Let me get to Buck!"

Hen rounds Eddie and Kasey to stand in front of the pair, she brings her hands up to cup the young's firefighter's face. With her fingers, she wipes away the tears falling from her eyes. "You will get both you and Buck killed if we let you go."

Kasey shakes her head as her bottom lip trembles.

"Please," a broken sob left her lips and Hen sighed before letting her face go.

Eddie's grip become tighter the more she tried to wiggle her way out, he brought his lip down to her ear, breath hitting against her neck as he tried to comfort her. With one hand securely round her waist, he runs the other down her arm to overlap his hand with hers, fingers sliding in between hers as he gently squeezes it.

But to none of his surprise, she didn't squeeze back.

He then wraps both arms around Kasey to keep her securely against him.

Chimney went onto his radio and the people on the other side could hear Kasey's shouts a lot more clearly.

"Give me the Captain!" Freddie states as he paces in front of Buck.

"I swear," Kasey said through gritted teeth as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I swear if he hurt either of them more than he already has," Kasey grunts again, "I'll fucking kill him."

Eddie squeezes Kasey hips to try and comfort her but it just made her want to leave his hold and run to Buck even more.

Her best friend was in danger, and she couldn't protect him.

"Where's the Captain?!"

A firefighter pulls them across the ground in pain.

"Hey," Freddie makes his way towards him. "I told you not to move."

"Hey! Hey!" Kasey yelled as she noticed Chimney stomping his way forwards, "why is he going forwards?! Let me go Eddie! Eddie I swear let me fucking go or I–"

Chimney raises his hands up in surrender, "I'm the Captain, okay? I'm the Captain, so please just let me help them, okay? Please."

"He doesn't want him," Kasey grunts as she continues to fight Eddie grip.

"What?" Hen asks. "But he asked for–"

"He wants Bobby." Kasey responded.

"Kasey, please stop fighting." Eddie mumbles softly in her ear.

"Not until I know Buck is okay."

"No." Freddie says as he slowly walk forwards. "No, I don't want you. I want Captain Nash."

Kasey fought once again against Eddie to reach Buck. But Eddie kept a strong grip on her. Kasey begged him to let her go, but he didn't.

He couldn't risk her getting hurt, but Kasey didn't care.

She didn't care if the guy brought out a gun and shot her. She didn't care as long as it meant she can reach Buck and help him. She has been ready to die for him since the start, and if that meant risking her life just so she could reach Buck, then so be it.

So, she continues to fight against Eddie's grip, but she couldn't escape. But she continued to try for Buck.

Then she stopped at the sight of Bobby emerging from the crowd and heading towards Freddie with his hands up, and Kasey cries out, hoping the two guys she saw as family would hear her – hoping that by some miracle that if Freddie heard he would let them go.

But neither three of them heard her angry cries.

Hen now stood in front of, hand resting on Kasey's cheek as she tried to calm the youngest firefighter down – she promised Kasey that they will be alright, but Hen didn't even know if that was a promise she could keep, but she made it anyways as she had hope that they will.

"Wanted you dead." Kasey heard Freddie say and Kasey had to fight her best to not let herself collapse in Eddie's arms from the sight of two very important people in her life in danger, and that she was over here not being able to help.

It felt like someone stabbing a knife through her heart and twisting it.

"I get that." Bobby slowly takes a step forwards, arms still raised. "But what about them? What about him?" He quickly pointed at Buck with his finger in the air. "He's got parents, a sister, a girlfriend, a best friend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn't even a firefighter when your father burned down the restaurant."

"Collateral damage."

"Is that how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all this?" Bobby was much closer to Freddie now, practically face to face with one another.

"Stop," he raises the trigger, "one more step, we all go boom."

Kasey whimpered and all Eddie could do was hold her.

"Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I'm sorry about that. But what you did with it – that's a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb."

"That lawyer – she..."

"Did her job." Bobby raised his voice. "We were all doing our jobs."

"Destroying my family. My mum and I lost everything. She was in so much pain."

"Want to make it worse? You want to make her watch you die?"

With his head, Bobby nodded his head forwards, and Freddie glanced round to see Athena and a detective with his mum.

She quietly mutters out his name, almost calling for the real him to come back home – to come back to her, for the Freddie she was seeing now was most definitely not her Freddie.

"Mum," he tilts his head almost like an apology.

Bobby sneaks up behind Freddie, grabbing him round the chest and held his hand away from the bomb's trigger. The S.W.A.T team came round Bobby and Freddie as they removed the trigger from Freddie's grip.

Out of shock, Eddie's grip loosens, and Kasey takes that chance to break free and run forwards, dodging Chimney who tried to grab her when she ran past, the moment she was close to Buck she skidded on her knees, not caring for the rips in her uniform or the burns that will be on her knees afterwards.

"Kasey," Buck whispers.

"Hey, hey, hey," Kasey smiles, voice strained from the yelling and crying as she taps her hand against the top of Buck's hand to let him know that she was there, and she was here. "It...hurts."

"I know, I know," she mutters, nodding her head furiously as she laid down to try and take a look of the damage of his leg on the fire truck. "We're going to have to lift it."

Buck groans.

The rest of team moves towards Buck the second Freddie is taking away from the scene.

"Still with us, Buck?" Chimney questions, a small lightness tone in his voice to try and distress the emotions around them.

Buck groans and pants again.

"Buck, how we doing?"

"Kind of numb." Buck responds to Hen. He carefully turns to look at Kasey who kneels right next to him. "Kas...can you hold my hand, please."

Kasey nods and very gently places her hand over his in a way to comfort him.

"This girl wouldn't stop fighting her way to you," Chimney shortly laughs.

"I'm gonna run two lines."

"Skin is cold and pale," Eddie states.

"Kasey...don't go." Buck stutters.

"I've got you. I've always got you," she whispers.

"Push sodium bicarbonate. Just hang in there, Buckaroo."

"Hang on, Buck."

"We got to get the truck off his leg," Kasey stressed. "It's the only way to get him free and–"

"Chimney stands up with his radio, "This is Captain 118. We've got a probably crush injury. I need all –"

Chimney pauses as he watches Kasey move her hand off from Buck's and ignoring his quiet calls for her. She shuffled closer to the truck and places her hands underneath the small gap between the truck and the road, attempting to lift the truck up herself as everyone was taking too long.

Kasey prayed to just suddenly gain super strength for a few seconds just to take this weight off from Buck, and the power to heal Buck too. She just wanted today to be over with, for it all to be a bad dream.

And if people were taking to long to lift the fire truck off from her best friend, her brother, then she will attempt to do it herself.

"–hand on deck to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma centre."

Bobby now reaches them as he places a hand on Chimney shoulder. "How's he doing, Chimney?"

"We're out of time, Cap." Chimney turns. "Well, help Kasey and lift this truck off of him, yeah?"

They all prepared themselves as more hands went onto the fire truck.

"Hang on, Buck."

"Everyone hands on."

"Hurry the fuck up."

"You ready?"

"Hang in there, Buck."

"Ready! Lift!"

They all pushed the fire truck up with all their strength, all grunting whilst Eddie and Hen remained by Buck to check his vitals.

Buck screamed in horrific pain.

"Come on!"

They all placed the truck back down.

"You got to lift higher!"

"One more time, guys. Ready?"

"Hang in there. Hang in there."

"One, two, three, lift!"

The grunts of the lifters were repeated along with Buck agonising screaming and Kasey had to squeeze her eyes shut as she tried not to listen to Buck's screams.

"Higher!"

"Higher!"

"Hang on, Buck."

"She's too heavy." Bobby says with a shake of his head.

"We got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?" Eddie suggested.

"No." Kasey shakes her head, eyes now looking down at the ground. "We need more people."

Chimney brings out his radio, "Dispatch, this is the Capt..." he stops when he saw all the civilians watching them rush forwards the second the barriers were pulled away, all running to help them – to help Buck.

They all rushed to the ladders side of the truck to find space to push it up.

"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

"Everybody, put a hand on where you can!"

"All together. One, two, three."

More grunts were heard as they lifted the heavy vehicle up for the screaming man under it, and finally they lifted it just high enough for Eddie and Hen to pull Buck out from the truck.

"We got him! We got him!"

"He's almost clear! Hold it!"

"Keep pulling! All right, we got him out!"

The truck lowered and hit the ground, but it didn't hit Buck for he was finally out.

Kasey rushed forwards, tapping Buck's hand gently once more just so he knows she's there.

"Kasey," he sighs at the knowing touch of his best friend, his sister.

And when they got him into the ambulance, Kasey was the one to ride with him to the hospital as a friend whilst Eddie, Hen and Chimney worked on him.

And when they got there, she went through the glass doors.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"And a furious Kasey," joked Chimney as he sees the youngest make her way to the group.

"That better be Bobby in a Captain's uniform," she squinted her eyes as examines Bobby, only to break into a smile and give the man a hug when she knew he was back.

"Admit it, Kas," she turns around to look at Chimney, "you do miss Captain Han just a little."

"I wont lie to you Chim," his face lights up in hope, "I was planning 50 ways to murder Captain Han." His face drops and the group chuckles whilst Kasey leans forwards to gently push Chimney right shoulder.

"Things are finally getting back to the way they should be." Hen says.

"We just need Buck." Kasey mutters as she looks around the firehouse that feels slightly empty without him.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

“People assume we choose this life,” Bobby proudly says as he stands in a higher standard uniform at the front with Eddie next to him, hands behind his back, dressed in a proper and professional firefighter’s uniform. “I’m not so sure. Sometimes I think this life chooses us. For those that answer the call, there can be no doubt, no equivocation. It’s not just the lives of those we serve that depend on us, but our own. The lives of our fellow firefighters and first responders. Today we welcome into those ranks a new brother. After a year of hard work and dedication,” he and Eddie turns to look at each other with a fond proudness. “I am proud to officially declare that your probationary period is at an end. Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Firefighter Diaz.”

Bobby brings his hand to shake Eddie’s, his other hand went to be placed behind the younger firefighter’s back as their hands stayed together for a little bit longer for a photo to be taken.

“Thank you, sir.”

Everyone in the fire station clapped and Eddie looked round the place he has found belonging within, happily. His eyes found Kasey’s first who clapped and sent a playful wink his way, and Eddie smiled brighter before he looked at Christopher making his way towards him with a helmet in his hands.

Eddie meets him halfway as the claps died down to watch the father and son moment, he then crouches down to pick Christopher up. “What do you got for me, son?”

“I got you a helmet,” he whispers.

“Yeah, my helmet?” Eddie responds back quietly.

Eddie raises his son up into a hug, embracing him tightly as he smiles into his shoulder.

“Congratulations, Dad.”

“Oh,” Eddie awed with a breathless laugh, “thank you so much, Christopher.”

After everyone met or said hello to everyone, Kasey found her way to sit next to Eddie as he sits in the chair next to Christopher who was happily eating a slice of cake.

“Well, hello, Mr Firefighter.” Kasey beamed more when she heard the sweet sounds of Eddie’s laughter reaching her ears.

“Hi,” he looks over his shoulder before looking back at Kasey, “I see Buck is finally meeting Vanessa and Kit.”

Kasey rolled her eyes, “they’ve been talking for ages. Think it’s just Kit and Buck now though, last I heard they were talking about penguins.”

“Oh, God,” Eddie laughs, “and you escaped my mother too?”

Kasey playfully hits Eddie shoulder, “oi, she’s a lovely lady, okay?”

“She is, but she didn’t let you come over to congratulate me.”

“Oh,” she arches a brow his way. “You jealous that another Diaz was stealing my attention.”

He shrugs, “well,” he squints his eyes at her, “a congratulations would have been nice.”

Kasey smirks, “well, name your price and I’ll make it up to you.”

“Got to come back to me for that one then,” Eddie lifts his head to look round the room again, “is Jamie not with you?”

Kasey smirk fell to a small smile, “oh, er, no, we er,” she hesitates as she looks at Eddie before looking forward to facing the trucks that were by their table. “We broke up actually.”

“Oh?” He breaths out, brows raising as a familiar warmth heated his cheeks. “You doing okay?”

“It was mutual and for the best.” She pauses for a moment before quietly saying: “I guess I couldn’t like him as much…”

“As much as what?” Eddie whispers back.

They were staring into each other’s eyes, he’s looking right into her, and she was looking right into his, neither of them daring to look away. Kasey then leans back in her seat, head falling back perfectly, resting on the fire truck behind her, she tried to devise the perfect response. She crosses her legs, and his foot was now near hers, and they were still looking at each other.

Kasey then looks away.

After a few seconds she looks back at him only to see that he was still looking at her.

Kasey wonders if she’s ever seen eyes of such a drunken golden haze before, eyes that made Kasey wonder if he could move mountains and shake the ground with a single blink. Kasey has never noticed how his eyes has so much control over her, never realised that maybe, just maybe, those eyes that held more history than the night sky that her very own eyes would sparkle at the sight of, just like they do when staring up at the moon or the stars, were the first reason she fell for him.

Kasey Strand has realised she has fallen for Eddie Diaz.

The realisation was a hard slap to the face, she thought Jamie was going crazy when he was telling her that she liked Eddie and that it was okay. Jamie was the one to give Kasey the wake-up call, the call of that she liked Eddie.

He had no hard feelings for her, just asked for her to be happy, and all Kasey could say was that she will try, and for him that was enough.

Kasey wondered though how long she has been falling for Eddie and how she never noticed this before.

Was this something everyone knew? Did even Eddie know about her feelings? Is that why he was staring at her in a way that no one has ever dared to before?

Kasey knew after the breakup that she liked Eddie, and she sat in her car for ages thinking of everything she liked about him, and she reached the conclusion that she liked Eddie more than she has ever liked anyone, and if she’s being honest, that scared her. She doesn’t want to screw up like she done her enter life, and she believed maybe liking him in silence may be a good choice, but that would kill her from within, so instead, she chose to wait for so many reason.

For herself. And to see if Eddie felt the same. Also due to Shannon’s death and there was few other minor things that told her to wait too.

But Kasey has fallen pretty damn hard for Eddie Diaz, without even realising that she was falling for him, and she hopes if they ever get a chance together, if by some miracle he likes the “broken” girl next to him, then she hopes that she doesn’t fuck it up.

For a slight second, Kasey’s curious eyes flickered down to his lips, she gulps before shaking her head.

“Nothing,” she coughs, looking away from Eddie. “I just couldn’t like him the same way he liked me.”

A/N: Just to note that Kasey did in fact go to Athena and Bobby's wedding. She was Bobby's best man :)

[ciaossu-imagines]

The angst potential of Gokudera's partner sacrificing themself to save someone else in the famiglia, tho. The Vongola comes first, after all, and his partner knows that

Okay, but I have definitely written things along this line before…it still remains one of my favourite possibilities though because there is so much potential for angst there and, my fuck, do I love breaking some character’s hearts for the drama and fantastic character stories and just…it makes me strangely happy, haha!

So, I could definitely see this being a thing that could happen. Mafia life, even while it’s downplayed some in the manga and it’s made to look charming, is dirty and dangerous and the very real possibility of dying early is something every Mafioso has to learn to deal with.

And Gokudera is okay with that. He’s accepted the dangers he puts himself in and he thought he had internally accepted the real and present danger to his loved ones.

But he really hasn’t because, somewhere in the back of his mind, he had always assumed that his family and his lover would be fine, that he could always somehow keep them safe in this seedy life they all live.

He trusts in his partner’s strength enough to not demand anymore that he be sent on missions with them. They can handle themselves and they do for a good long time. Life seems stable, happy even for Gokudera and his little found family he’s created with the Vongola.

But they go lead a mission when he’s desperately needed somewhere else, Tsuna’s orders, and he assumes it will be like every other time and they will come home victorious.

Except they don’t come home. The Vongola headquarters hear it through the radio-coms first and tell Tsuna, who calls Gokudera right away…or, if you really want to get angsty, they’re all on comms in different areas and Gokudera gets to hear his lover’s last minutes playing in his ear while he’s powerless to protect them or help them or save them in any way.

He’d definitely not react well. Whatever danger the family was facing…all the grief that threatens to choke him and makes his head swim and his chest feel like it’s second away from exploding…it manifests itself as anger because that’s always how Gokudera feels most comfortable with expressing himself. The danger doesn’t just get handled; it gets burned to ashes.

But that doesn’t really help. It doesn’t take away that grief and I feel like Gokudera would really have an issue with properly handling his grief, getting stuck in the denial and anger stages for years.

If it’s just some other no-name Vongola member his partner died protecting, I feel like Gokudera would direct a lot of his anger there and would never forgive them…hell, I think that Vongola member wouldn’t be a member too much longer.

But if it was another Guardian? Or even better, Tsuna??? That makes everything in Gokudera’s world and in his mind so much harder because he’s always been so devoted to them but at the same time, he blames them and there’s this bitterness that does grow in his heart towards them and he hates himself for it so there’s even more guilt and shame and it all just weighs him down.

I don’t feel like, even if Tsuna offered to pay for a grief counselor for Gokudera (which I doubt would happen because KHR likes to pretend like therapists don’t exist, even though honestly, the Vongola should be handing out individual therapists to everyone for the rest of their lives the way Oprah hands out goodies to her viewers), he wouldn’t take it because in a lot of ways, he will blame himself. In his mind, it wouldn’t have happened if he’d only have been there. Or if he’d been stronger, strong enough to prevent that danger from ever being a real threat. So, in a really sick way, he’ll want to hold onto that guilt and shame and grief because he’ll feel like it’s only right that he feels it, that it’s what he deserves for not being good enough.

I also don’t think he’d take another serious lover for years, maybe even decades, if that happened, going back to flings, and keeping people really far away from him. Unless the others tried really hard, he’d even start to grow the distance between him and the other family members because he just can’t mentally or emotionally handle everything and becomes obsessively scared, even though he won’t understand that that is what he feels, of losing another precious person to him. So, if he hardens his heart or creates distance or actively pushes people away, he’s safe from that.

[natasha-in-space]

What are your headcanons for Vanderwood having a female cousin who resemble him ?

Okay so, we pretty much don't know anything about Vanderwood's background, where they come from, did they have a family, ect. The only passing notion we do get is Saeyoung talking about them coming from a British background, but we honestly have no idea how accurate this information is. Judging by their involvement with the underground agency, though, it's fair to assume that their past is not a happy one... After all, the illegal organization that both Saeyoung and Vanderwood become a part of specializes on using those who need their services to hide their true identities from the gaze of the law. Everything else is pretty much up to fan interpretation.

If we do imagine Vanderwood having a family... well, it could go two ways for me, and none of them is a particularly lighthearted one. If their family is, in fact, alive and well, I'd assume that Vanderwood's involvement with the agency was in a desperate attempt to keep their loved ones safe. It's a heavy thought to consider... and it puts a completely different spin on their relationship with Saeyoung. Just imagine selling all of your life away in order to ensure a secure and happy life for those you love the most. It's a thankless sacrifice to make. Their family has no idea what happened to Vanderwood. It's not that far off for their loved ones to simply come to the conclusion that they're dead. Still, there's a glimmer of hope ahead after all! Once the agency is all taken care of, we can imagine Vanderwood coming to the decision to seek out their family once more. We have no idea how that would look like... but it's definitely a long process to go through.

The other scenario is a bit more dark in its nature. Vanderwood might not have a family whatsoever. Perhaps, they lost it due to a tragic accident that pushed them to hide away in the shadows with the help of the agency in the first place. Maybe they're an orphan. We simply don't know. Either way, it makes my heart ache to imagine them going through such heavy grief all on their own... life made them sturdy, but this does bring about questions concerning the very events that lead them to become the person we get to know in the game. This makes me view the relationship they share with Saeyoung in a new light as well. Especially concerning his tragic history with his twin brother. Tragic parallels, you know?

So, when it comes to them having a family member that resembles them so closely... If his family is, in fact, alive, and they end up reuniting with them in the end, they might be a bit taken aback by meeting someone so similar to themselves. This both makes Vanderwood feel a bit more at peace around their cousin and makes their heart ache with a dull pain. For their own family to resemble them this much inside and out... what did their cousin had to go through to end up this way? Well, whatever it is, now they have each other, and they don't have to fear the agency coming to take away everything they hold dear. They have all the time in the world to figure things out in their own time and begin anew.

If their family is nothing but a distant memory, however... While Vanderwood would never admit to it out loud, they do find themselves reminiscing about their loved ones more often than they'd like to admit. If they saw themselves in their cousin... it makes it this much more painful to loose her in such a tragic way. It's like they lost a piece of themselves that they can never get back. Reminds me of the way that Vanderwood refused to let Saeyoung give up on finding Saeran in V's After Ending.

Ouch.

[romanxdrake]

Task 002 - Morality. Neutral Good.

These characters value life and freedom above all else, and despise those who would deprive others of them. Neutral good characters sometimes find themselves forced to work beyond the law, yet for the law, and the greater good of the people. They are not vicious or vindictive, but are people driven to right injustice.

For each of the following items, indicate whether you think it's morally okay or not.

An army lieutenant neglects to file a report on a civilian killing done by his troops because he knows it was an accident. NOT OKAY

Tina promises her dying mother that she'll visit her grave once a month. After the mother has passed away, Tina finds it hard to squeeze in the time, and her visits drop to about once a year. SOMEWHAT OKAY

A man orders a custom-built sex doll designed to look just like his neighbor. NOT OKAY

Sarah's dog has four puppies. She can only find a home for two of them, so she kills the other two with a stone to the head. NOT OKAY

A doctor has been preforming consensual yet illegal procedures one someone in hopes of finding a cure for his ill sister. SOMEWHAT OKAY

A neglectful husband pushes his wife to an affair. When the affair ends, the wife's partner nearly kills her and her unborn daughter. The husband kills the affair partner. SOMEWHAT OKAY

September has run out of food and is facing death by starvation. She begins to cannibalize her family's loyal staff. They do not fight back. NOT OKAY

A mother gives birth to identical twins. One follows their ambitions and the other becomes a shut in. The family make it clear which child they prefer. NOT OKAY

Natalie is so focused on survival she fires a shot without thinking. She did not intend to kill her elderly neighbor, but she hides the body regardless. She denies knowing what happened to the now missing resident. SOMEWHAT OKAY

A woman is facing a lifetime of medical issues. She continues to put her family and those around her in emotional and medical debt. She lives a hollow life and continues leaching off of those who support her. OKAY

Please provide a response to each of the following prompts. Leaving a prompt blank will also be considered a response, and you will be assessed for refusal to answer.

In the event of a life or death situation, would you put yourself or others first? Depends on who the other person is. There are definitely people out there I would sacrifice myself for, but I would always try to find a way out of the situation for both of us. If I could ensure my own survival or the survival of people I loved by getting someone else killed.. It's a line I'd be willing to cross.

How far would you be willing to go to ensure your own survival throughout this ordeal? I want to make it out of this to see June again, but I don't want to turn into a monster along the way.

Is there anyone in the building you have developed strong attachments to? Birdie, obviously. And Charlie. I'd keep an eye out for both of them, do what I could to keep them safe.

Do you think it is possible to survive infection through alternative means such as removing the infected limb? Would you be willing to undergo this procedure to ensure your own survival? Not every disease has a 100% infection rate and maybe the reason none of us have gotten sick so far is simply because we're immune. If I did get bitten, would I be willing to cut off a limb? I guess, if it was an option. A hand would be okay, sure. But an entire arm? A leg? Could you even survive like that out here?

Will following the general consensus lead to improved odds of survival, or would you have a better chance following an assigned leader? I'm not really following anyone's directions here. If I agree with the current plan, great. If not, I'm not going to stick around to watch what happens next. My only goal is to get out of here alive to see my daughter again.

What is the appropriate response to the following situation?

Your daughter falls ill and needs a specific, uncommon kind of antibiotic that will be hard to find; without the full course, the pathogen will survive, regroup, and kill her anyway. You are scavenging a pharmacy, where you find another group, and manage to not shoot each other. You ask them about the antibiotic, and they have it, but they also need the antibiotic, for the wife of someone in their group. You cannot share the antibiotic because it would just kill both people, and they have the antibiotic in their pack. This is likely the only complete dose set you will find, as the other stores have been picked totally clean and there are no friendly groups in the area I'd kill them. I'd do whatever it took, no matter if I lost my own life in the process, to get the medicine to June. There's no other option where I could live with myself anyway.

[mintys-musings]

ik yandere stuff isn't everyones thing. esp the more brutal parts to it. but i find it interesting to explore the obsession... so ig maybe a similar way to how izumi acts sometimes? (because wasn't he supposed to be just a tsundere but the writers threw in some yandere tendencies into him?)

idk. i just think it's interesting to see how characters behave when they feel a certain spark for someone that leads them down to infatuation. especially if their feelings arent reciprocated or they are too aware of their actions. examples below.

just to be safe uhhh cw some stalking

like anzu being so obsessed with a producer that she switches her whole schedule to line up with theirs and sabotages projects sometimes so they gotta hang out and fix her fuck ups. and even when they're berating her because they're tired of her antics, she's crying tears of joy because wow to have theyre full attention like this is a blessing!!! i think she'd be the type to have a little shrine of shit she's picked up from the producer. empty pens, failed proposal papers, a paper cup thats stained slightly with coffee— all sentimental. acts like a doting wife, much to the annoyed producer's dismay.

or makoto feeling conflicted as he uses his access to the info bureau to get info on a voice actor he likes and trying to get cast in the same game— or constantly spending his time in places he knows they frequent for a chance meeting. he's been a victim of izumi's infatuation so it feels wrong, but he can't help it. he's too scared of actually approaching them so he builds this elaborate delusion by just sitting in the same general area as the person. he orders what they order. and he mentally pretends to have a conversation with them as they eat. he uses audio editors to splice together clips of them saying "I love you, Makoto ♡" among other things and listens to them on loop (Check Check One Two by KurageP vibes) the odd feelings he has on this whole ordeal haunt him. every time he creates a new sound file he feels sick. why is he like this? they dont even know makoto exists. he'd like to stop but their voice is so sweet...

mayoi.... well... he's always watching from the vents anyway. now he's just making sure things are okay for his beloved. he acts as both a phantom that sends chills down their spine as they don't know if they're being watched AND as a guardian angel who leaves trinkets, snacks, notes, etc. not too different from how he is already actually. he just is more scared. he already hates his own intrusive thoughts that struggle to stay in. he doesn't want his beloved to hear them especially. so he's content watching them from afar. though sometimes he gets cold feet that day because of the creeping guilt + the looming fear of getting caught and being labelled as a creep and avoided by his beloved is too much. if, however, his beloved's heart is taken by another, im sure he'd spiral into a depression considering he'd be too cowardly to make himself known. he'd just wish them the best as there's nothing else that he can do without bravery, but anyone who sees mayoi notices he's a bit listless.

hiyori being much more forward in his affections than everyone else, showering the apple of his eye in gifts and love galore. he's used to getting what he wants if he has a say. while even in this state i think all idols would be able to take rejection, hiyori would be hit the hardest and be in denial for a while. his gift giving wouldn't falter and his compliments still are never ending, but the more they affirm that "yeah no... id rather not." he'd grow distant. maybe angry? he couldn't remain as such towards them though. in the end, he'd settle for just providing them with whatever they could possibly need and keeping a friendly distance. he still loves them. and it hurts they don't feel the same. but it would hurt infinitely more to have them hate him.

[oblivious-aro]

For the character ask, Robot from Dicey Dungeons? Also mayhaps Maya from Ace Attorney if you'd like a bonus!

Robot:

How I feel about this character

I can’t help but feel bad for Robot. It’s very genuine, and obviously trying its best, but has very clearly missed some important memos. It wants to compete a second time?! Robot, even if you don't know just how sinister Lady Luck's setup is, you've gotta at least figure there's no way you'll be able to earn two prizes at such a high value.

Robot's got decent intentions, but it's also kind of out of touch with reality, and I feel like someone could easily take advantage of it.

Considering its desire was to eliminate the need for sleep, I'm also a little worried it's not prioritizing itself properly. Robot, I ask this with concern, why exactly do you feel the need to be so efficient all the time?

Robot makes me a bit sad and worried. I hope it has nice friends, and maybe takes a bit more time for itself.

I could be projecting a teeny bit here maybe…

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Ew, cooties.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Robot & a therapist.

(For a more real answer, I feel like Robot and Inventor could do some powerful things together. Nerd power!)

My unpopular opinion about this character

Hmm…kind of hard to have an unpopular opinion about Robot.

I don't think I really found them that hard to play as? Just stop rolling when you get close to jackpot, use all or most of your dice, then keep rolling. It’s been a minute, but I remember that usually works pretty good if you want to play it safe.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I want the contestants to have that brunch, and I want to see Robot unapologetically enjoy it’s meal. Like, it's ordered a stupidly tall stack of pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles or something.

Maya Fey:

How I feel about this character

I quite like her. Her upbeat attitude is a good balance to Phoenix's “I'm so tired and want this to be done” energy, and also really charming.

She's very interested in the world around her and wants to push all of the shiny buttons. As someone who's tasted the water in a sensory deprivation tank (don't do this), I very much respect and relate to that attitude.

Also love how unapologetic she is about her personality and interests. That's probably a big contributor to why she's so emotionally stable despite…everything that's happened in her life.

On the one hand I'm not sure the writers took this side of her character seriously enough, but I do like that she's handling her shit. It would've been nice if Phoenix had showed her a bit more support/sympathy, but I like how the two of them are shown to be on a relatively equal level of importance and competence. Given her situation, I feel like “Phoenix being saddled with the burden of taking care of Maya on top of everything else, but she's useful every once in a while to reward him taking care of her” could've been an easy trope for them to lean into, but they avoid that and I'm glad.

That being said, I love how they dig into Maya's insecurities in the first game. Yes she's competent, but she's also 18 and trying to help a lawyer despite having had no legal training. Even the one special skill she was supposed to bring to the table, she's been struggling with, so it makes sense that she starts feeling insecure about her place at the agency. I gotta say, seeing a character who's typically outgoing and confident express insecurity hits a lot harder than a shy character who's always insecure express insecurity. I genuinely felt bad when she asked Phoenix if she was actually useful.

It is kind of disappointing that she gets relegated to damsel in distress for the climax of the 2nd and 3rd game, though.

She does appear in the sixth game, and she doesn't really have an arc, but I love that she's obviously matured in her time away. She seems much more capable of leading her village and had mastered the channelling technique she struggled with in the first games. And she still unapologetically loves nerdy stuff. It's great <3

I like her spunk, I like her strength, and I like her unapologetic nature. Kind of sad the original trilogy never gave her an arc as good as the one in the first game.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Honestly I'm kind of getting some aro vibes. I might be biased tho… (don't super remember where I picked up these vibes :/)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Boring answer, but Maya and Phoenix are pretty classic for a reason. They're two very different people bonded by sharing very specific experiences and have really grown to care for and appreciate each other deeply.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Fanziska/Maya is very much just she was a girl, and she was a girl. If you want a sapphic counterbalance to Wrightworth, Lana and Mia are right there. Please I need some Franziska animatics that aren’t ship focused. Please please please they’re scarce enough as it is.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I feel like we could've had more serious moments with Maya. Maybe we could've seen her leaning on Phoenix for support a little? Maybe have a small breakdown or two? It wouldn't have to be anything huge, Maya's actually a very strong and mature person, but she is still an 18 year old living on her own, she just lost her sister, she's the next in line to lead her village, she's trying to juggle her spiritual training with an incredibly involved office job, and is kind of sort of suddenly responsible for raising her small cousin. I wish the writers acknowledged the weight of her resonsibilties a little more. It really would’ve strengthened her characterization and her relationship with Phoenix if she came to him for support more, even if it was just emotional (cuz sometimes just that's all you need).

Ooh! What if one time they're in the middle of a big case, and Phoenix notices Maya seems off, and when he asks her about is she's like “we're doing more important things right now”, and he’s like “what? No Maya, you're just as much a priority as this case!”, and then sge vents and he reassures her, and then either she's way more energetic and helpful after, or she takes a break and Phoenix does the next part of the case alone (or with someone else), until Maya returns in time for the trial with a noticeably clearer head. (I just kind of thought of this scenario now, but I love it).

It also would been great if she'd found out Edgeworth watches Steel Samurai. To be clear, they would absolutely not be fan buddies, Edgeworth would go into hard denial and/or pretentious mode, while Maya would be exploding with overwhelming fangirl energy. The other characters are too scared to intervene. Unstoppable force meets an unmovable object type deal.

[opalharshe]

Fanfiction Oneshot

“Anya?” Twilight stepped into his living room. “Yor?” He called out tentatively.

There was no response. A stillness hung over the house. Where could they be? Unease crept up Twilight’s spine. He couldn’t pinpoint the source, but something felt off.

Marching swiftly to Anya’s bedroom door, he ran a quick check to assure himself it wasn’t booby trapped, and carefully opened it. Much to his relief, Anya was safe and sound. She’d been doodling on a piece of construction paper and fallen asleep on top of her crayons. Twilight scooped her up in his arms to put her in her bed, while also reassuring himself she was unharmed.

Sensing movement in the room, Twilight’s eyes snapped over to the corner, only to be greeted by the wagging tail and large friendly face of Bond. He trotted over to Twilight’s side and rubbed up against him.

“Careful,” Twilight said in a low voice as he lowered Anya into bed. He tossed a blanket over her and dusted his hands.

Every sense of his was on high alert. When he stepped out into the living room again, he could now pick out the slightest hint of a rancid smell that permeated through the house. Was Yor in trouble? What could possibly be the source of such a smell? Twilight immediately headed for Yor’s room.

“Yor?” he knocked on her door sharply. Once again, no answer. After confirming this door was also safe to open, he slowly pushed it open.

The room was empty and in pristine condition. Unsatisfied, Twilight searched the room for signs of damage. He knocked on the bathroom door and heard no response. Clothes lay strewn on her bed, but in no messier a condition than Twilight would expect of Yor. Then…had she left the house?

There was only one way to be sure. Twilight searched every room, calling out for her. The smell became weaker and stronger in different parts of the house, but he didn’t feel like he was ever truly close to the source. The decaying quality of the smell was getting stuck in his head; was she not responding because she couldn’t respond? His eyes immediately searched the floor before anything else in each room he stepped in.

When he walked into the kitchen, the smell became slightly stronger. Yet, nothing looked particularly amiss – there were no bloodstains, signs of force, and definitely no dead body.

A slight gasp escaped him as he peered into the sink. A broken, bloodied knife lay in there. Had there been a struggle? Had Yor been forced to run away to keep herself safe? Or had she given chase to someone, in order to keep them away from Anya?

“Woof!”

Startled, Twilight turned to find Bond padding up to him. He then moved past him and sniffed at the countertop, as though leading Twilight there.

“The smell…” as soon as he approached Bond, he knew this was the source.

A pot sat next to the gas, with a piece of paper on top. Twilight picked up the note and immediately recognized Yor’s handwriting – though it was usually neat, this time it was rather messy, as though she wasn’t able to write properly.

“I made dinner! Anya really wanted sweets so I’m going to buy some for her! Oh and I broke the weapon I used to cut the vegetables. Sorry!! I will buy a new one!”

Setting the note aside, Twilight would be lying if he said a new apprehension hadn’t overtaken the old one. Though an immense sense of relief washed over him, knowing she was safe, a new problem sat in front of him. He lifted the lid off the pot and the same rotting smell now rose up and violently punched him in the face. Yor had made- what had she made? Cubes of charred meat floated in a dark brown liquid. Splotches of orange that might have once been carrots lay helplessly between chunks of undercooked onion. A handful of peas swam mournfully in the sewage water that Yor might call “broth”.

She wasn’t home. Maybe he could tell her he already had some when she returned. Maybe-

“Welcome home!”

“Ah-” Twilight whirled around, nearly dropping the lid in his hand. “I…I’m home.”

Yor beamed and set down her bag of groceries. Her fingers were covered in bandages. “You must be hungry! Bond-san, go get Anya. Let’s all have dinner together!”

As Bond merrily bounded out of the room, Twilight could only watch as Yor served them all gleefully. She seemed to quite enjoy having them act as a real family together. Unable to think of a way out of it, Twilight simply sat down in front of his bowl.

“Mama! You got my ice cream?” Anya stood at the door, rubbing her eye.

“Yes, sweetie,” Yor bent down to Anya’s level, hands on her knees. “But you should have dinner first, okay?”

“Who made dinner?” Anya suspiciously peered at her bowl. “Mama, you made this?”

“Yes!” Yor pulled out a chair and sat down as well. “Go on, eat up!” She waited patiently, watching the two of them.

The faster he ate it, the better. It was him versus the bowl of unidentified substances, and he was not going to lose. Should he simply pick the bowl up and down it in one gulp? No, he might choke on the meat. Picking up his chopsticks, he began to toss the food in his mouth at lightning speed. His stomach protested loudly, gurgling and churning, but he soldiered on. He was beginning to feel lightheaded. Stars appeared in his vision.

“How do you like it?” Yor asked expectantly.

“E-excellent,” Twilight forced himself to speak through mounting nausea.

“Oopsie,” Anya said nonchalantly as her bowl clattered to the floor. “Knocked it over by mistaaaake.”

Despite his hazy vision, Twilight could see she’d knocked it over on purpose. Yor, however, didn’t seem to catch that.

“Oh, no! I’ll get you another bowl,” Yor stood up to serve her some more.

As the last shreds of Twilight’s consciousness slipped away, the last thing he saw was Anya booking it out of the kitchen.