#here it is late on a friday night instead let's see how it does | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

leviathanspain · 2 years ago

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hi 🖤 idk if this is a good request? lol but i’d really like to read the ways carmen prefers to be with reader than claire/noticing she’s THE one and not the other way round, maybe there was a little bit of an overlap??? not necessarily cheating but- and how sugar or richie or syd notice that they are endgame

i wanna be yours

carmy berzatto x reader

synopsis: enemies to lovers, carmy likes the attitude he’s developed when he’s around you, far more than being with his girlfriend

part 2

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you knew he didn’t like you.

richie had hired you, after you had walked in with a pile of resumes, dropping off five copies of yours before walking off. he didn’t even get a word in, admiring your style of exiting instead.

he had called you not even an hour later and asked when you could start.

and here you were, a week into waitressing at the bear.

it was supposed to be this prestigious new restaurant opened by some hotshot chef. but you couldn’t be quite sure, chicago had just recently become your home. but quickly you learned the dynamics, except for him, who wouldn’t look you in the eye, let alone talk to him.

“y/n!” richie slammed a hand on the door, swinging it open, “third time calling, where is she?” he looked around in the kitchen, eyes searching for you.

richie looked at carm, who was just finishing a conversation with sydney, “yo cousin! have you seen your employee? her shift started twenty minutes ago!” his shouts drew eyes from the rest of the kitchen staff and carmy turned, sighing slightly as he walked up to richie.

“she’s your employee, cousin. you hired her, you deal with it.” his lip twitched up slightly and richie sighed, throwing his hands up, “it’s shot to hell, all of it!” he slammed another hand on the door and back to the front of house.

suddenly, you barreled through the kitchen’s back door, a bag on your shoulder, impossibly stuffed with belongings as you hurried to the locker room. carmy sighed with annoyance upon seeing you. he turned back around and tried to find something to busy himself with.

“hey boss,” you looked at carmy, who didn’t look up from his cutting, “sorry i’m late there was some-“ you had prepared an excuse! carmy didn’t say anything just shook his head, “don’t wanna hear it, go talk to richie.”

you felt your cheeks burn red with embarrassment as you bowed your head, shuffling past him and out of the kitchen.

“fucking finally! i was beginning to think you thought this shit was optional.” richie spat, throwing a towel at you, “start wiping down the tables for dinner.” you sighed, taking the towel off your chest, where it landed and stuck, and threw it onto a table.

for a moment, you watched as you wiped the table, before looking over at richie, who had his brows furrowed over the cash drawer.

“why does he hate me?” you had an arm on the counter, lips pouted slightly.

richie sighed, knowing exactly who you were asking about. “carmy’s just carmy.” you groaned loudly, “that’s all anyone ever says. it’s just an excuse for him to act like an asshole.”

richie shrugged, “that’s all i got. forget about it and just keep scrubbing, we don’t pay you for nothing, sweetie.”

you blew a breath out, doing just as he said.

“can you please tell carmy that i need friday off?” you hung onto richie’s arm, pulling him as he tried to run away from you earlier. you had been talking his ear off all day about your trip, and how you’ve been needing this.

richie pulled his arm back and held his hands up, “i’ll see what i can do. no promises though, friday night and it’s just me and you up here? we’ll see.” he tried to be realistic in a nice way, although he knew there was no way in hell you’d be able to get that day off.

“we’ll see isn’t good enough, rich. i really, really need this.” you had clasped your hands together to further express your desperation, and richie groaned, “ask him yourself then! im sick of having to be the bridge between you two.”

you blinked, “maybe if i knew why carmy hated me, then maybe i’d do something about it. but fine!” you walked over to the kitchen door, pushing it open. inside, you found the kitchen staff cleaning up. you refreshed your greeting with them before asking about carmy. sydney had directed you to the office, where only a dim light was the indicator that he was in there.

it took you a moment to build up the courage to knock, but the door swung open before your hand even reached it. carmy stood there, nostrils flared as if he had just taken a deep breathe, redness around his eyes, exhibiting his exhaustion.

there was genuine surprise on his face to see you, and you had to withhold a breath, “hey boss.” his blue eyes locked onto yours for a mere second before they floated away, resting somewhere on the wall behind you.

“what’s up?” his voice raised the question and you nodded, “right- i already talked to richie and he told me to ask you, and i don’t know if you’ll even say yes-“

“get to the point.” of course, you should’ve known by his fingers tapping against the door that he was getting impatient. he was important, and constantly busy, he didn’t have time for you or-

“i need friday off.” you breathed, feeling the release of your tension in your shoulders. you almost heaved just as he answered, unsure of what he would say.

“yeah, i guess that’s fine.” he shrugged slightly before clearing his throat. he closed his eyes slightly as your face lit up, “really? thank you, boss. i-“

“can i get past?” carmy interrupted your words and stared at the door, your body halfway covering it. “yeah- of course.” you scooted further into the office as carmy pulled on the doorknob. you felt the edge of the door tap your back, and you shuddered as it swung back and slammed as he left.

blowing out a breathe, you opened the door, eyes accidentally catching carmy’s, who was standing near the kitchen door. you looked away first, still reeling from the interaction in the office. as much grace as you’ve been giving him, it was getting exhausting having to hold yourself back.

“why is he so-“ you struggled for the words to describe your boss, especially to richie. you were frustrated, carmy’s constant dismissal of you, even when you were asking for something that would affect him and his workday, he didn’t care!

“y/n, it’s just cousin. he’s harmless, don’t worry about anything. you got the day off?” richie turned to look at you, your mouth still in a pout, but you nodded nonetheless, “yeah i did.”

“that’s good! just be happy you got it off, hmm?” he tried to be a mediator, tried to be nice and hear you out, but after hearing the two of you express your anguish over the other, day after day, he was getting sick of it. “why’d you ask for it off again? i thought you didn’t have a life.”

you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you stared at the ground for a moment, “that’s true. it’s my father’s- was, my father’s birthday.” you laughed slightly, pausing before speaking again, “he grew up here, going to the local theater with his father for his birthday every year. we’d make family trips every year to come back to chicago, watch movies with him in the same theater and share a slice of cake. after he passed, my sister and i were the only ones who did it for a while, but then she got married and suddenly, it was just me.” you shrugged, “and then i moved to chicago permanently, into the same house that my father lived in. and i got a job here.” you smiled weakly, “yeah.”

richie nodded, “yeah.” matching your tone of voice. he didn’t want to speak, letting himself sit with that. you were nice enough, a good kid, and he saw something in you, a little spark just wanting to be ignited fully. he didn’t know what it would take, but it seemed like you didn’t either.

carmy hadn’t realized that he had eavesdropped the entire conversation between you and richie until richie came into the kitchen, slamming the door against carmy, who had stood there, frozen, captivated by your story.

“cousin- get the hell out of the way!” richie barely glanced at carmy, too in a rush to even think to slow down.

carmy looked down at the door as he pushed the door open, out into the dining room. he looked up to see you wiping down the counters. you had a wet rag under your hand, and you were lost in thought as your hand moved in a circular, repetitive motion. you didn’t even notice him as he inched closer, unsure of what he was going to say when you noticed him.

“hey.” carmy realized he was speaking, and as you looked up, your attention. you couldn’t help but smile, this was the first time that you had seen him so still, and so in thought.

“hey.” you returned his greeting, letting the rag go, you turned your full attention to him. he laughed nervously and that made you smile even more. it was odd, how he changed so suddenly with you.

you raised an eyebrow, “is there something wrong?” he hadn’t said anything else, just staring in thought.

he shook his head, and returned himself to the kitchen.

“weird.” you exhaled, watching as the door swung shut behind him. how could carmy go from being the biggest asshole to you, to randomly greeting you then going silent.

you’d talk to richie about it later, but for now you had work to finish.

“claire.” carmy looked surprised to see his girlfriend. it was friday, and normally she stopped by on saturdays. “i thought you worked on fridays.” he pulled her into the office and claire shrugged, “i got off early, just to come see you.”

carmy nodded, “yeah. yeah.” claire raised an eyebrow at him, “i cant leave early tho. y/n asked for the day off and i didn’t realize how much she does so-“ he cut himself off watching as claire’s expression soured slightly.

carmy sighed, “i know- but i’m her boss, im going to have to talk to her eventually.” claire rolled her eyes, “god, i-“ she cut herself off and stood up, “that’s fine, carmen. i understand, really.” her tone sounded irritated as she opened the door. carmy found himself standing to rush after her, but stopped himself.

had he really made a judgement on you based on an experience claire had with you in grade school? so far, you hadn’t mentioned claire to be someone of the past, and carmy had wondered why.

carmy blinked, suddenly getting the urge to rush after claire. but as she walked right out the front door, carmy realized that he had been too late. normally, the guilt would set right in, but as he stared out into the dining room, he could imagine you standing at the counter, eyes shying away from his.

saturday had been a rough start for you. you had spent the whole night before, sobbing at the movie theater. your eyes had puffed up so much that you had to go home, barely able to see the movie through your tears. this time of year was rough for you, especially since your family hardly called. your father had been the glue to hold all your differences together, but it seemed not to have a lasting affect.

when you had arrived late to work, yet again, you had expected carmy to give you the silent treatment, or possibly even yell, but he hadn’t said anything.

except,

“i’m sorry about your dad.” he had looked down at the floor when he said it. you stared at him, shocked that he said anything to you besides the usual, and that he knew about your father.

“how long as it been?” more. he was talking more to you, “uhh-“ you couldn’t contain yourself, “two years. but it feels like-“

“yesterday. yeah i know.” he finished your sentence. “i lost my dad too. a while ago.” he shook his head, as if shaking the feeling that came along with it.

you nodded, holding a small smile that carmy had actually made conversation with you.

“thank you. and im sorry for your loss as well.” you brushed past him, still reeling.

months passed, changing things with time, including carmen.

not only had he become a better boss, but you could consider him a friend. transitioning to kitchen staff had made that happen, including moments that made you think of him as more.

there was no doubt of the chemistry you had with him. everyone noticed it, and sydney had half the mind to encourage it.

“you work so well together! he needs something and you’re there with it! it’s actually insane, like did you guys come from the same planet?” her voice got a little high as she rambled on and you laughed, “what planet would that be, syd?”

she shrugged, “something of greatness. i mean, he’s even said it himself-“

you held up a hand, ending her little ramble right then and there, “sydney. i am not anything like the world renowned chef that runs this place. im not even a sous! i was waiting tables just a month ago.” your hand pointed out to the dining room and sydney threw her hands up, “that’s exactly my point!”

you rolled your eyes, “please stop.” you couldn’t hear her anymore, not while carmy was just minutes from rounding the corner.

“want one?” carmy had noticed you were gone. the rush was starting to slow and you had decided to take a break, not knowing he would follow. there was a cigarette hanging in his mouth glumly, a lighter being tossed between his hands.

“i don’t really smoke.” you answered earnestly. carmy brought the lighter up to his mouth, taking a moment to light it. he inhaled, and you caught yourself staring at him as he exhaled.

“you don’t really?” he sat down, closer than he probably realized. you turned to look at him, eyes hooding as they focused on his cigarette. “mhm.” you answered, leaning a cheek on your hand.

you were reaching out before you realized, fingers wrapping around the cigarette, pulling it from his mouth and into yours.

carmy watched you with surprised eyes, as you took a long, deep drag. you exhaled it, hand outstretched to return it. he took it, smiling as he chuckled.

“i’m quitting.” you admitted. looking at carmy, waiting for him to react. he didn’t, and you laughed, “did you hear me, carmen?”

carmy took another drag, pulling out the cigarette to flick it against the concrete step, “no you’re not.”

“i am- i already talked to richie and syd-“ you found yourself trying to justify your decision until he raised his voice, “no you’re not! i said no!”

you flinched, not used to having him scream directly in your face. he didn’t need to, and so he never did.

until now.

your ears were still ringing. you had been staring at carmy’s side profile for five minutes, as he stared ahead in silence.

finally, “why not?” the pure shock had kept you quiet, but you had built up emotion, and your voice couldn’t help cracking.

carmy shrugged, “just don’t. just give me time, alright.”

your frustration grew with his vague answer. he was refusing your resignation, and now he was refusing to tell you why?

carmy panted quietly. he had been in the office for more than twenty minutes, watching as he phone buzzed with call after phone call from claire.

he couldn’t pick up, not when his head was full with thoughts of you. he knew it was wrong, he knew that claire should be the only girl on his mind, but she wasn’t and he felt horrible.

he stared at the phone, swallowing thickly as he picked up the phone, opening a desk drawer and tossing it in.

ever since he had found out that you had no idea who his girlfriend was, and that her entire reasoning to dislike you had been a lie, it had strained his relationship. but claire had been close to catching onto his disillusionment, and it seemed like she reached it.

he opened the office door, breathing in deeply as he saw you in the kitchen, eyes red rimmed but still diligently at work.

#carmy berzatto x reader #carmy angst #carmy berzatto angst #carmy berzatto fluff #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmy x you #carmy berzatto #carmy smut #carmy x y/n #carmy fluff #the bear angst #the bear #the bear smut #the bear fanfiction

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holdinbacksecrets · 2 years ago

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how do you think svt would subtly let you know they have feelings for you? 🥺🫣 or how they’d confess?

first of all, my sincere apologies for taking a year to answer this… but a couple nights ago i woke up at 2am, scrolled through my requests, and yours ended up inspiring these voicemails. thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy 🖤

thank you @un-love for helping me assign these🫶🫶🫶🫶

voicemails seventeen leave you, hinting feelings

seungcheol: “hey…a lot was said last night…it’s important that you know how proud of you i am for opening up to me. it’s just…you have to know that… my home is yours for however long you need. there are clean sheets on the guest bed, but i know you prefer my mattress…we can switch- i just want you to be comfortable, not to worry about anything, ok? i hope i see you when i get home tonight. or if you want me to meet you at his—yours, i’d be happy to.”

jeonghan: “hey, are you ok? you looked upset last night, and i tried to show i noticed without… showing i noticed. you left earlier than i expected with lia, so i didn’t get a chance to ask. then hoshi was fucking wasted, so i was trying to get him home in one piece. let me know, please.”

joshua: “morning, let me know what time you’d like to leave tonight. the party starts at 8, but i don’t think it’s really going to start until 8:30. we could get dinner before if you want? and it’s ok if you forget a cardigan. now i keep one in my car in case we end up on a balcony.”

jun: “you’re probably freaking out, but your laptop is here. it’s fully charged. i can bring it to you. i know you have classes friday afternoon… if you use your ipad instead, come over after. i’ll make you dinner.”

soonyoung: “at this point, i need to keep your grocery store list on my notes app or something. it doesn’t matter where i am or what grocery store i find myself inside, i’m immediately wondering what you need. i end up getting things i know you’ll like… tampons too and those pads with the wings. i started keeping them in different bags i use because i never know which one i’ll have when i see you. i know it’s silly because you always have something with you just in case, but… i don’t know. i don’t want to be completely helpless. now i feel bad for my sister. is that weird? i never did this for her. i should have. i hope her boyfriend does.”

wonwoo: “i think you’re asleep, but i wanted to remind you to take another dosage of pain medicine when you wake up. it’s been twelve hours, and i know how forgetful you can get in that post-sleep haze.”

jihoon: “it’s so sunny here. i’m sending some to you for your birthday. missing your birthday… how the hell did that end up happening? i’m definitely not incredibly upset about it either… happy birthday. tell me all about your day when you get this. if i don’t answer, leave a detail in your voicemail” *whisper sings happy birthday*.

seokmin: “hey you. so i’m at the cafe, and i ordered a chai latte for you before realizing i didn’t know how much longer you’ll be. if it’s cold by the time you get here, i’ll order you another or see if they have a microwave. i think some customers are staring me down because i’m a single man occupying a table. please hurry. kindly. i say that so kindly.”

mingyu: “is it absolutely ridiculous to believe you… some part of you manifests in willow trees? i think of you, and i see one. it’s happened too many times to be a coincidence, even in other countries. i’ve taken pictures, so you have to believe me.”

minghao: “—you have to come with me next time.”

seungkwan: “do you want to be my date to my sister’s wedding? it’s not a big deal. i mean, it is, but i know how anxious you can get about things like this, so i want you to know it’s not a big deal… did you believe that for a second?”

hansol: “there’s going to be an indoor pop-up market two blocks from your apartment on saturday. i took a picture of the flyer through the car window, but it came out all blurry, and i’m running late for a schedule. this is a reminder for myself to make sure the details reach you. i also want to go with you if you decide to go… if you can go.”

chan: “can we change our friday night plans to saturday? i’m so sorry. my mom has an appointment, and i offered to drive her before my brain caught up and realized the day and time she’s scheduled. i don’t think i’ll make it back early enough, and i don’t want to leave her either, you know? she’s having a little procedure done. i want to be around just in case… because i’m worried about it. i didn’t think i’d be this worried. call me when you get this.”

bonus: “i’m around the corner from your place, and i have the tokyo hoodie with me. it’s your week, it’s freshly washed, so let me know if you’re home. i’ll drop it off.”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen blurbs #seventeen drabbles #seungcheol scenarios #jeonghan scenarios #joshua scenarios #jun scenarios #soonyoung scenarios #wonwoo scenarios #jihoon scenarios #seokmin scenarios #mingyu scenarios #minghao scenarios #seungkwan scenarios #hansol scenarios #chan scenarios

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ash5monster01 · 3 months ago

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Hello!

I have a request for Randy for whenever you’re able to get to it and if you want to write this:

Reader realizes she has feelings for Randy and feeling like he doesn’t feel the same way and that he’s just a player , she skips out on a party and goes to the movies alone. While at the movies, she feels someone sit next to her and it’s Randy asking why she ditched the party. Turns out, he actually really likes her!

Let me know what you think! ♥️

Suddenly I See

Pairing: Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, lying, language, age gap relationships, no use of y/n, just two cheesy love sick idiots

Summary: Realizing your feelings so suddenly makes your social life feel unbearable, when trying to escape those obligations, you don’t expect someone to follow along.

word count: 2k

Masterlist

It's a flash of feeling, barely there, but you can't ignore it. The slight pull in your stomach and the way your heart speeds up. The realization is heavy and hits you fast. Nothing is out of the ordinary, Tony whines about something political while Pink wraps an arm around your shoulders and teases Cythia about her last date with Wooderson. It's a normal Friday just like every other had been for the majority of your senior year. Yet for some reason on today of all days, you discover your close proximity to the brunette boy beside you drew a need out of you. A want that you had never felt before and when he tugs you in a little closer you can't stop the blush that crosses your cheeks. You should be happy, filled with that giddiness of discovering a crush, but instead you feel a sort of dread. One you can't make go away.

"Well I better go, don't want to be late to practice and get lip from Coach. I'll be seeing you all at the party later?" Pink asks, ending the conversation you hadn't contributed too at all. Lost in your head to even be in the present moment.

"Yeah we might make an appearance," Mike jokes, having attended more since the summer. He had really come out of his shell and it was ironic considering you could feel yourself retreating back into yours.

“David is picking us up,” Cythia grins, still a little dizzy headed over the boy too old for her. Yet it was nice seeing her happy about her social life. Suddenly Pink’s eyes land on you and your stomach does a somersault, not used to how his simple stare now affected you.

“Does that include you?” he asks and you know he’s only checking in case you need a ride but it still makes you turn a shade darker. Your delusional heart hopes he’s asking because he wants you there but you remind yourself Pink had busied himself with other girls like Simone or Jodi, not you.

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” you quip, trying to seem as your normal self but Pink still gives a semi questioning look before releasing his hold on you. It’s as if all the air has returned to your lungs and you decide this crush most definitely will be the end of you.

“Can’t wait then, later guys.” Pink waves before sauntering down the hall and in the direction of the locker room. Your shoulders visibly relax but none of your friends question you.

“Alright let’s get out of here.”

As the hours pass and the hot Texas sun dips behind the earth, you find there is no desire in you to attend this party at all. This newly discovered crush has crippled you and there was no guaranteeing how you’d behave. Plus Pink had always been such a good friend, the kind of friend you didn't want to lose over these feelings. Add in the fact you’d more than likely spot Pink romancing one of the many other girls instead of yourself.

“What? Why?” Cythia questions on the other line, answering your call while getting ready for the night on the town. It was unlike you to skip out on a party so her shock isn’t a surprise.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just don’t feel so good,” a lie, a cheap one at that. You didn’t like being dizzy with a school girl crush, especially over the most sought after guy in school. You were no better than the rest of them.

“Damn, that sucks. I was really excited,” and you smile at your friend on the other line. It was sweet she cared about your attendance despite the fact she gets to go on the arm of one of the legends. Even if he was too old to be attending.

“I know, but don’t worry. I’ll be at the next one, maybe by tomorrow I’ll feel better,” which was probably untrue but maybe in 24 hours you could learn how to cope with these new feelings.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with how you were acting with Pink earlier, right?” she asks and your throat dries, had you been that obvious? Yeah it was sudden, a mountain of emotions washing over you after a single touch but you had to have handled it better than most.

“What? No, I’m always like that,” but even you sound unconvincing to yourself and you quietly wince, knowing Cythia had seen right through you.

“Well feel better, we’ll miss you,” she tells you and you grin, the phone cord coiling around your finger.

“I’ll miss you too,” you tell her before sharing goodbyes and hanging up the phone. A part of you feels guilty but a need to save face took over more. Sighing against the covers of your bed the regret of not having any plans sinks in. Hours ahead with nothing to do but reread the same magazines or go downstairs and watch TV alone. Then the thought pops into your head and you get up to get ready.

The local cinema is awfully quiet for a Friday night but considering the weather was still nice enough for outdoor parties, it also makes sense the movies would be so empty on a night like tonight. The attendee slides you a single ticket under the glass and you offer him a smile before slipping inside and in search of some popcorn. A solo date to the movies seemed to be the perfect solution to your current predicament. Plans without any of the people you intended to hide from. Even if the few other couples sitting in the theater were strangers, you at least knew you weren’t all by yourself on a perfectly good Friday night.

It’s about halfway through the movie when the guilt creeps back in. You hadn’t intended to bail on any of your friends, especially a hopeful Pink who had asked you earlier. You had been excited for the party too and it didn’t matter that the movie was good. You had lied and avoided your friends all over a silly and useless crush. You felt like a fool and suddenly the popcorn tasted sour instead of salty.

“Movie any good?” a familiar voice drifts into your ear and a shiver runs down your spine. Turning you find the brunette boy of your previous thoughts sitting in the row behind you. He is clad in a normal Pink party outfit and your heart constricts at the thought of him hunting you down here.

“You’re supposed to be at O’bannion’s party,” you state, not answering the question and Pink just chuckles, leaning closer and making your heart stall in your chest.

“So were you,” he says quietly, your voices low under the theater speakers and you're thankful it’s dark when you blush.

“I said you’ll see, not that I was going,” you remind him and Pink gives you a look he never has before. A sort of fondness on his face as he watches you.

“You see that’s not what Cynthia said, she told me you called and said you were sick. Then imagine my surprise when I recall passing a certain someone’s car on the way to the party,” he says and you blush an even deeper red. More out of embarrassment that he actually left the party to come back and find you and another for not expecting anyone to see through your lie.

“You didn’t tell her, right?” you ask, not wanting your friend to take the lie in the wrong way. You hadn’t meant to avoid her, in fact the only person you were avoiding was right next to you now.

“No, I kind of wanted you to myself,” and it’s possible he doesn’t mean it the way it sounds but you blush anyway. Quickly looking behind him he checks to make sure it's all clear before hopping over the seat to sit next to you. The hair on his head flashes at the bottom of the projector reflection for only a split second before he’s as close as he was this morning.

“Care to tell me why you ditched the party and ended up here instead?” he asks, hand dipping into your popcorn bucket and throwing some into his mouth. You shrink a little into yourself, knowing you can’t tell him the truth.

“Just wasn’t feeling it I guess,” you say unconvincingly and Pink gives you a small frown, arm wrapping around the back of your chair. It’s too intimate, the dark theater, the other few couples making out in their respective spots, paying no mind to the movie. It feels like a date and this had been your lame attempt at avoiding any contact.

“That’s too bad because I really wanted to see you there,” he admits and you look at him briefly, no hint of mischief or deception in his eyes at all. It was an honest confession and your heart speeds up more than it already was.

“There were plenty of our other friends there to keep you company,” you remind and he shakes his head, bangs falling into his eyes slightly. It takes everything in you not to brush them out of his face.

“Yeah but I wanted you,” he pushes this time, clearly over your avoidance of the conversation and you sigh before looking at the boy for real this time. He had always been there, one of the nicest and coolest guys in school. He always offered you rides and you’d help with his homework. It’s almost no surprise that you had fallen for him but the thought of losing him was even scarier.

“And why’s that?” you dare to ask and Pink shifts so his body is facing yours, fingers brushing behind your shoulder, and your hands tighten around the popcorn.

“Well if you must know, I like you. In a way that’s more than friends and I was hoping to get you alone. Maybe even have you consider me as more than one,” and his admittance makes your speeding heart halt to a full stop, butterflies tickling your rib cage. You had been so hard on yourself for this sudden crush you had never considered it could go the other way around.

“What about Simone or Jodi?” it’s the wrong question to ask but you can’t help yourself. A part of you was still set on protecting your heart during all of this.

“Simon and I fizzled out over the summer and Jodi was never like that. I never wanted to take her on dates or get to know her in any way that mattered. Not like how I do with you,” he says and you feel his fingers move from your shoulder and brush away some of your hair. His touch is fire hot and your whole body buzzes with the feeling.

“I ditched the party because I have a crush on you and I was too embarrassed that someone would notice, or even worse that you would,” you match his confession and the grin that flashes across the boy’s face makes your knees weak. It was odd that you had discovered your feelings all in the same day Pink would admit his but maybe it was fate. Exactly how it was meant to be.

“So that’s why you were acting weird this morning,” he trails off, voice teasing, and your face turns a bright red that even he could see dimly lit by the movie screen.

“I thought I was playing it cool,” you pout and Pink just chuckles before leaning closer to you. Your breath hitches at the action and Pink visibly enjoys the effect he has on you.

“You’re always cool. Now can I kiss you and take you back to this party?” he asks and despite the fact Pink was someone you had never been uncomfortable with, nerves build in your chest. A kiss, with your newly discovered crush, your heart might go out.

“You can kiss me but I’d much rather finish this movie before going to the party,” you tell him and Pink smirks, the hand around you pulling you close and the other cupping the side of your face.

“Deal,” he says before sealing his lips against yours and it couldn't be anymore perfect.

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sandy-the-glader · 1 year ago

Note

Hi!! If it’s okay, can I please request an Adrian Chase x soft and innocent!fem!reader where they are coworkers at Fennel Fields, him being a busboy, and she is a waitress. The two of them have feelings for each other, Adrian just trying to get the confidence to ask her out. A group of guys come in every week are super loud, rude, and also make Y/n (who is taking their order) very uncomfortable, and when Y/n turns down their advances, they say some very mean things and make her cry. Adrian is absolutely FUMING, literally having to hold himself back from going at them right then and there, instead following her to the kitchen try to calm her down (in his own Adrian way), promising to “take care of it” . She 100% thinks he means kicking them out, but the group of men get a “visit” from Vigilante… the group “disappears” without a trace “, never to bother Y/n again.

Adrian softly kissing a very relieved Y/n when the men don’t return to the restaurant, she doesn’t know about Adrian’s Vigilante side nor does she know the fate of the group of men, but Adrian takes it as a compliment nonetheless

The Protector

Character: Adrian Chase x InnocentFem!Reader

Type: Fluff/Comfort, Angst

Length: 2.7k words

Summary: Request above!

Trope: Best friends to lovers, Co-workers to lovers

A/N: I have not done anything for Adrian in a while and I love him so much aaaaaaa! I bent the request ever so slightly. Also, let me know if I should make a part two of this but it’s Adrian’s POV 😉

"God that group is back." I hissed. "How do they always manage to get seated in my section?" Me and Adrian eyed them from the kitchen.

"I don't know but they never tip well either. I think all the tattoo ink got into their brains or something." Adrian glared at the noisy group. I smiled at his joke. He always lightened the mood and I was forever thankful for that.

"God it's twenty minutes until closing why do they always come in here late?" I grumbled folding my arms.

The group was dreadful and I have no idea how they haven't gotten in any section but mine yet. They've been showing up the past 3 weeks on Saturday nights and past close. Me and Adrian had plans ruined because of those guys. I've been working here for 1 year and a half (Adrian for longer) and I've never had a worse group of customers.

Usually, the worst is an old lady who asks for the manager when the food isn't exactly to her liking. Or a group of teenage boys who don't buy anything they just sit there and be as loud as possible.

Sometimes me and Adrian went to see movies together on Fridays or had plans with friends and I loved it. That's what made me look forward to the end of the week but with this lousy group of 40-year-old biker guys trashing the tables and leaving sometimes a zero-dollar tip was starting to have the opposite effect on me.

"You know I can take the table for you. I know they're pretty shitty guys." He looked at me and I shook my head softly. His green eyes dazzling in the heat lamps made me almost take back rejecting the offer. When he looked at me the way he did it made my heart flutter. They were so careful and easy.

"You take over my shifts all the time Adrian. The least I can do is deal with one unpleasant table. I can do it." I looked back at him with determination. Besides he was only a busboy, not a waiter though I'm sure he could do the job just fine.

It was true though. Every time I was sick he took over no questions asked. Sometimes he even encouraged me to call out sick when all I had was a cough. He was my best friend after all but he always went above and beyond with the way he treated me.

Sure my other co-workers were nice like Taylor treated me nicely but never as nice as Adrian. From the get-go, he was kind to me always guiding me to where things were or making small talk with me to help get me though my shifts. He was never afraid to give me a hand in anything I needed.

He looked very unsure of my decision but he didn't protest as I left to deal with said table. Though I could still feel his eyes glued to my back. I pushed open the door and

I strode over there with a sudden burst of confidence. I could do it. Then when It's all over me and Adrian can go back to his apartment and watch movies all night like usual.

As soon as I reached the table that confidence slowly started to melt away.

They were a group of 5, all big-looking, and they were like I said a biker gang. Sometimes I hate my job.

"Hello I'm Y/n I'll be your server today can I get you any drinks to start with?" My hands trembled as they gripped the sides of my apron. Whistles filled the air as the men's eyes wandered across my body. Some even leaned over to get better looks at me.

"Looking good honey!" I laughed nervously trying to be as polite as I could to them.

I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. I felt my cheeks getting hot. I was even embarrassed to be close to them. I cleared my throat trying to get them to reply to the simple task at hand.

"Waters for all of us." What I was sure the group leader spoke out. "Please, baby." He added. His group let out an array of deep chuckles. I felt sweat start to appear on my skin. I smiled and walked off in the back. As soon as my backs were to them my smile vanished off my face.

Oh god, it's barely been 5 minutes with them and I already want to leave. Once I got back there Adrian was still standing in the same spot looking at me with a pleading look.

"Don't look at me with those eyes." Those pleading begging green eyes.

"You can still take my offer you know." He pressed his lips together. "Because you look like you need that help. It's not like a bad look or anything but you look kind of helpless. In a good way." Adrian rambled. I've known him for so long I could decipher any message he gave me.

"It's fine I can handle it," I said firmly. I wasn't going to let them get the better of me. Just seeing and having Adrian here made it better.

He was a complete nerd and I loved having someone like that. I loved hearing him talk about DND and all of his hobbies. Then I got to start doing it out of work too.

We even set up a DND campaign at one point. It was a little confusing at first but playing with him made me understand. The memories of us together made me way more relaxed.

I poured those glasses of water and put them all onto a tray and held it with one hand. I pushed the door open almost spilling them in the process and walked back to the table.

"There she is!" One of them shouted. I placed all of the glasses on the table without a word trying to keep my cool.

I watched some make extremely disgusting gestures. Just 20 more minutes and you can go home. Just 20 more long excruciating minutes.

"She's a beauty isn't she fellas?" The main one asked. I swallowed thickly not excited for their replies. I did not have the energy for this today.

"Oh definitely would talk her home. You single honey?" One of them eyed me.

"Uhm yes, I am I'm just not looking for anything like that right now." I lied trying to get him to understand the message.

"Nah she's lying they're always in the market." My feet wouldn't move. I felt scared. Uncomfortable. Where's Adrian? I shouldn't have taken this table. "Come give me a chance honey!" He begged. Can't this guy take a hint?

"No, thank you I'm sorry." I tried to stay as polite as possible. "What would you guys like to-" I was instantly cut off.

"It's not like her makeup hides much." They laughed. I felt ashamed to be here.

"And she could smile more. Where's our cute smile sweetie?" I couldn't smile to save my life. I would not give them what they wanted. My lips trembled.

"Nah her smile would be ugly too we can't ask for something she doesn't have." The table erupted in laughter.

"Look at her she's a doll. She could get any guy she wanted."

“Maybe she’s a slut. No wonder she's not in the market she just sleeps around!” Barked another.

I looked up to see Adrian cleaning some dishes from a couple tables in front of them.

He was looking at me because he had clearly heard that nasty remark. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked red with anger. He was seething and I could see his hand gripping the rag he was holding tightly.

Then the dam in my eyes broke. Tears started to brim my eyes and I stormed back into the kitchen quickly. As I left I heard them start to laugh louder. I shoved open the outside door and sat on the picnic bench we had out there.

I leaned my head in my hands and let the tears spill over my cheeks. I couldn't think about anything other than their words and how humiliated I felt. I felt like screaming at them but I just couldn't. That wasn't how I was.

Who did they think they were? Coming into our restaurant and treating me like shit for what reason? Do they have nothing better to do with their life?

I heard the door swing open and I tried to cover up my sniffling but it was no use. It slammed shut and I heard quick footsteps trot over to the bench. I already knew it was Adrian so I let him sit next to me. As soon as he put his arm around me it all came rushing back out.

"Hey hey, I'm right here." He whispered softly, I wrapped my arms around his back and in that moment he was all that mattered. I just wanted to have Adrian by my side. He awkwardly patted my back.

"Thank you." I wiped my cheeks which now had mascara smeared down them. "I'm a mess," I complained to him. He didn't say anything he just kept holding me. I knew he could struggle with comforting and with words in general sometimes. "You don't have to stay here you know. I'm already in trouble for abandoning my table i don't need you getting into it too." I frowned.

"Oh no, I'm staying." I snuggled myself into his side. "They don't deserve you. They're dicks who don't know how to treat women and that feels like a crime. They had no right to insult you like that." I nodded trying to listen to his words but I still felt shitty. "And that's like so not cool." He said and finally, a small smile spread across my face. He let out a built-up sigh of relief that I was starting to feel a bit better.

"I know. It still hurts though."

"No matter what those guys say they're so wrong." I looked up at him and he was already glancing at me. "You look so beautiful without makeup. I'm not saying you look bad with makeup on I mean like the complete opposite." I started to grin at his ranting.

"Thank you A. It means a lot." He enjoyed the small nickname. He continued to rub small circles into my back relaxing me.

"But those guys will never bother you again." He said still heated by the situation. "I'll make sure of it and because I really like you okay?" He confessed. "And seeing you hurt like that hurt me." he stared at the ground.

The confession threw me off. I always stressed about him liking me but hearing those words fall from his lips felt bewitching. I pulled away from him and looked at him eye to eye.

"Oh fuck I mean!" His cheeks grew pink. "Like I like having you as a friend not like in like I've been crushing on you since I've laid eyes on you and have been dreaming about you or anything because that would be like..." I leaned closer to him and brushed my thumb against his cheek. His face was warm and soft beneath my hand. "crazy." He whispered finishing his sentence.

"Don't lie to me right now Chase." I frowned. He sighed as he realized he'd been caught.

"Okay yeah, maybe I really like you." His eyes never once left me. "And maybe I have been dreaming about you since I first saw you."

"You better not be joking with me right now. Or I will continue to cry ."

"Okay um do not cry again please I already handled the first time poorly. But I am certainly not kidding." I moved my hand from his cheek to his hand which was much larger than mine.

"You better not be because I like you too." He blinked a few times trying to determine if I was the one joking around this time. He moved a stray piece of hair out of my face and tucked it neatly behind my ear. His eyes flickered down towards my lips and back up to my eyes. Was he really about to kiss me right now?

He swiftly closed the gap between us and captured my lips in a phenomenal kiss. Maybe he wasn't all nerdy after all because damn he knew how to kiss. Sure I have barely kissed anyone my whole life but he made it feel so right. He slowly pulled back to look at my face.

"Was that okay? If it wasn't I can totally like stop. I don't mind at all." I squeezed his hand and hugged him.

"It was perfect. Thank you." For having such a shitty night he made me realize the better. Like how the stars seemed to shine just a bit brighter than before and the moon was glowing just a little more than it just had. All because of Adrian

"How about I go deal with them and I also go grab our stuff since it's about time we clock out we have a fun relaxing night tonight?" He proposed.

"I would love nothing more."

"Good. Now you wait here!"

Once I got inside his apartment I immediately collapsed and melted into his couch with a loud dramatic sigh. He had probably the most comfortable apartment imaginable.

"Oh shit." I heard him hiss.

"What's wrong?"

"I was supposed to drop by the store after our shift to grab some things from the store..." He trailed off looking sheepish.

"Go ahead, Adrian. I know it will be all you talk about if you don't." He nodded before muttering a quick 'thank you' and leaving.

I had a really long day in general so as much as I wanted to I did not feel like waiting up for him. I left my work bag on the couch and wandered to his room.

His bookshelf overflowed with books and tabletop games, His bed was slightly messy from the morning, and it felt like him. I dug through his dresser to find this shirt that had a cool-looking dragon and a D20 on it. I took off my apron and work shirt and threw it on. I really hope he doesn't mind.

I threw my shoes somewhere on his floor and crumbled onto his bed. God his blankets were so soft.

It had been an hour before Adrian finally made his way home. He took off his mask and suit and tucked it away in the hall closet once he got home. He'd deal with all the blood later.

He walked through the hall and pushed open the door to see his best friend asleep on his bed in his shirt. He couldn't be happier to come home to this. She finally looked at ease snuggled beneath his covers.

Adrian scooted himself into his bed and joined her. He placed a small gentle kiss on her forehead and spooned her.

"They won't hurt you again." He whispered before allowing himself to drift off to sleep with her in his arms.

I waited afraid week after week to see that group come back but they never did. Nor the week after that or the next. I soon started to get curious about what Adrian meant when he said he'd "deal with them." Did he get the manager involved? Did he really have that strong effect on them? Maybe he even beat them up. He's too soft for that right?

Anyway, I was just happy to be with the one I've crushed on for so long. It felt good. Better than anything has ever been.

Tonight we were staying in on the couch while we waited for the popcorn to finish in the microwave of his apartment. The smell drifted through the room making me even more hungry than I was before.

"I'm glad they're gone." I looked up at him. His glasses glowed from the light of his phone.

"Me too. I hate seeing you upset." I leaned on his shoulder and my eyes wandered quickly over to his phone. Just a quick peek it wouldn't mean anything. He was texting Chris who according to him was his guy best friend. I had met him a few times for drinks after work and he was a pretty alright guy. I scanned the words and...

I finally got to use the chainsaw on those guys :)

What does that mean?

#adrian chase #adrian chase x reader #peacemaker #adrian chase fanfiction #freddie stroma x reader #freddie stroma #vigilante fanfiction #x reader #comfort from vigilante #babygirl fr

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therobbycuepitt · 24 days ago

Note

mateo confides in cassie about his feelings for victoria, harrison overhears, and the next time victoria babysits him he just talks about the HUGE NEWS he has but can't tell. victoria is confused, mateo is mortified, cassie is highly amused

Anoooon I'm sorry this was not my best work. I blame the fever and my stuffy nose. I will redeem myself in the future for all Mavadi shippers 🤧💀😭

Harrison likes to think pizza is his best friend–a friend that would never do him harm, reliable, constant, never changing. He liked to call Mateo his best friend too, because he does cool stuff and lets him watch scary movies when his mom never wants him to.

So on a night where Harrison has hung out with his two best friends, pizza and Mateo, he finds himself almost asleep on the couch on a late Friday evening. Clutching one pillow tightly from seeing one too many jumpscares in that old Freddy Kruger movie, he decided he wanted to watch Zootopia instead–one boy could only handle so much excitement from pizza and hanging with Mateo, so he'd like to avoid peeing his pants in the process. It was nearing the end of the movie when the sound of keys jingled behind the front door, Cassie had just come home late after her double shift.

“Hey, is he still up?”

“I think he just fell asleep,” Mateo gets up from the floor to help Cassie with her bags, putting it away in the closet. Cassie lets out a long groan, rolling her neck.

“Thanks again for doing this, Mateo. I actually asked Victoria but she had a hot date or something,” his head snaps to his friend and neighbor suddenly curious.

“Jealous?” Cassie teases, gauging his reaction. He scoffs, crossing his arms while leaning against the wall.

“Nah… she– no, she works at the hospital. You know my rule.” She shakes her head, knowingly eyes him who's clearly in his head, overthinking.

“Stupid rule if you tell me. Plus, she technically isn’t an actual employee yet. She’s still finishing her rotations–which she has two weeks left in the ED by the way,” she points out, dropping another subtle clue for her friend to get a move on if he wants anything to happen between him and the young med student.

“Yeah, two weeks…” he purses his lips.

“Enough time to tell her how you feel.”

“She’s there to learn not to make out with nurses, Cass. She shouldn’t get distracted,” he says deflated. He should keep helping her out around the ED, and not mix any romantic feelings in the workplace. He couldn't deny the fact that he did feel a bit of something when Victoria complimented him on a daily basis, in her own cute and nervous stuttering way. He reveled in the way she would look like a deer in headlights whenever she caught him staring at her– which led her to run away in the opposite direction.

“Never said anything about making out,” Cassie muffles her giggle with a closed fist to her lips.

“I- you know what I mean!” he exclaimed. Cassie shushes him but it was too late, Harrison was already sitting up from the sofa sleepily eyeing the two of them behind him.

“Knew it,” Harrison mumbles, eyes half shut resting his cheek against the back of the couch already drooling. Cassie snickers at her son. Mateo pushes off from the wall and grabs his jacket before leaving.

“Good night, Hazz-man,” he messes with Harrison's dark brown hair. The kid stirs and swats at his hand.

“Bye, Mateo,” he whispers and lazily waves.

“Hey, Harrison. What’re you doing here? Feeling okay, buddy?” Victoria approaches Harrison at the central bay, looking around. Mateo follows suit behind her after disposing of his gloves in the bin and sanitizing his hands. He and Harrison do a short handshake.

“Yeah. I just have to pick up our house key. Grandpa lost his,” Harrison straightens up, perching his backpack higher on his shoulders–his face suddenly lights up in excitement looking between Victoria and Mateo.

“I have great news!” the eleven year old bounces on the balls of his feet, smiling widely at the two.

Mateo eyes him and coughs awkwardly. “Hazz-man! Let’s go get your mom. I’m sure she’s looking for you,” he hurriedly claps a hand on the young boy's shoulder, trying to steer him away. He shoots a clipped smile at Victoria, trying to walk away with Harrison who was full of protest.

“But–”

“I think I saw her in South 5,” Mateo interrupts a little too loud, garnering stares from the surrounding staff.

“Say bye to Victoria, Hazz,” he keeps pushing him in any direction, not even near the way to the South bay. “But I have something to tell her! She has to hear it, Mateo!” he protested. Mateo nervously laughs, eyes darting from him to Victoria who was standing awkwardly not knowing which one of them to help.

“Nah, man. She’s super busy. Maybe next time, yeah?”

“I wasn’t going to tell her about your crush!“ Harrison whispers a little too loudly. Victoria's eyes grow wide. Harrison turns back to her, “I had an A in my science project! Y’know the heart pumping thing! My teacher really liked it,” he says proudly, waiting for Mateo and Victoria's reaction. Victoria bursts out with a crackled giggle.

“Wow! W-wow. Yeah, c-congrats! I-I think I hear Dr. Robby calling me, bye!” Victoria quips, stiffly turning away and speed walking to find her attending. Mateo sighs and pats Harrison in the back, pointing him down to the South bay.

“Let’s go, bud.”

Mateo had been trying to find Victoria during the last two hours of their shift, but every time he catches sight of her, she's already headed in a different direction away from him or deep in consultation with Robby or Dana. She had been trailing Dr. Mohan since the impromptu confession, actively trying to avoid him. Finally clocked out and passed on patients to the night shift, he makes his way to the lockers heavy footed. He stops in his tracks seeing Victoria who was taking her own belongings from her locker. Mateo slowly steps up to her, clearing his throat trying not to startle her.

“Hey, listen about earlier–”

“Totally. Yeah, nothing happened. Didn’t hear a word. You totally don’t have a crush on me. Got it,” Victoria rushes out. Mateo doesn't even register all of her words right away, shaking his head trying to put his words together. Cassie's voice suddenly chimes in behind them.

“I guess that’s my cue to come back…later,” she drags the last word out, playfully eyeing the two of them, slowly stepping away. Victoria hurriedly puts on her backpack and closes her locker.

“No, wait!” Mateo, in a panic, holds both hands up which makes the two women freeze in their spots.

“M-me or Dr. Mckay?”

“I– both of you. I don't know! This really wasn’t how I planned this to go,” he sighs, running a hand over his tired eyes.

“You were g-going to tell me you… you liked me?” Victoria asks, stumbling on her words and breathing. Mateo lets out a nervous laugh and scratches the back of his neck.

“Well, yeah. I mean– I wanted to ask you out in a cooler way, I guess. Just not… here or like this.”

“I can still give you a ride home, Javadi. I’ll give you two some privacy,” Cassie says, smirking at the two of them grabbing her bag and jacket from her locker, patting Mateo in the back before she heads to the exit.

“This has been very embarrassing.”

“No-no. I think that was really sweet… cute even,” Victoria smiles at Mateo, feeling a light warmth in her chest. He chuckles, shaking his head making his curls swish around a bit around his face.

“I'm free Friday night,” she says with confidence, surprising herself. Mateo stutters through an acknowledgement while she walks away before she loses her cool again.

“Real smooth, Diaz.” his head makes a small thump, hitting it against one of the locker doors, peaking at Victoria making sure she was long gone before hitting his forehead against the cool metal again.

#the pitt #the pitt fanfic #victoria javadi #mateo diaz #mavadi #mavadi fic #robbycue dish

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tiddiewitch · 2 months ago

Text

Second Chances - CH. 16

Description: Agathrio AU - Rio gets to the bottom of what's going on with Agatha

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 12K

Notes: I didn't intend for us to end up in a Chili's but here we are.

When Rio headed back into work on Sunday afternoon her first thought was to find Jen. She’d had another sleepless night after getting back late the day before and dropping Agatha off at home. It was the first night they had spent apart since she had found out about the pregnancy and the cacophony of thoughts were louder than ever. She did feel some relief at having decided to involve Agatha’s friends, they should know best how to help ease her through this, and she wouldn’t have to do it alone. Her anxiety lay more in the sense of urgency. Each day that passed with Agatha not knowing put both her and the baby at greater and greater risk and added pressure to the already stressful conversation ahead. So, as soon as she dropped her stuff off in her office she headed down to talk with Monica, the head nurse in labor and delivery.

Monica was in every sense a boomer. A short plump woman with a severe, bobbed, bleach blonde haircut that just screamed I’m gonna need a manager. She was nosey and controlling and lorded her ounce of power over all those she deemed beneath her. Though, in the presence of doctors, she would do her best to put on the most humble demeanor she could muster. As Rio sauntered up to the nurses station she was greeted with a saccharinely sweet,

“Dr. Vidal! To what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?” She was doing a poor job of masking her annoyance at Rio’s disturbance.

“Jennifer Kale!” Rio barked back at her.

“Excuse me?” She asked perplexed

“Is Jennifer Kale working? If not, when is she working next?”

“Oh let me see…” she clicked around on the computer at a glacial pace, muttering to herself through each page she pulled up. “Jennifer, Jennifer… you know, it’s not often we see you lot down here if it’s not an emergency. Let alone for one of the nurses specifically.”

“Right…” Rio didn’t engage, instead she drummed her fingers anxiously on the counter as she waited for the answer she was searching for.

“Must be something pretty important for you to make your way all the way down here from your office on the 5th floor.” Monica was nosing for gossip and using the info Rio needed to extort it from her.

“Listen, Monica is it? Are you going to tell me when Jen is in or am I going to have to tell the chief nursing officer about the hour nap you take every shift without clocking out?”

Monica’s face was a mixture of rage and astonishment. “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me! Where’s Jen!?” She half shouted.

“You looking for me?” Jen asked as she sidled up to Rio at the nurses station.

“Hey! Jen! Yes, actually I wanted to ask you something…” she said as she glared and stuck her tongue out at Monica and led Jen into an empty room. She closed the door behind them as she saw Monica peeking over the desk intrigued.

“Hey! What’s up? When did you guys get back?” Jen asked as Rio pulled her further away from the door.

“Late last night.” She said abruptly. “Hey, I wanted to see if you’d like to go to happy hour or something? My treat!” It came out more panicked than she intended.

“Yeah…” Jen laughed, confused by the energy of the conversation.

“Great, when are you free?”

“Um…I’m off Thursday and Friday, but I’d have to check with Alice and see if we have any plans.”

“Oh, Thursday’s perfect! Actually yeah, invite Alice too. Oh and Ralph, it’d be great to have all of you there, really. Just…don’t mention anything to Agatha.” Rio asked.

Jen rolled her eyes and groaned, “Why? What’d she do now?”

“Honestly, not sure, hoping you can help me figure that out!”

“Listen, Agatha and I have been friends for a long time but that doesn’t mean I understand why she does the things that she does.” Jen sighed

“At this point I’m less concerned with the why and more with the how and how long.” Rio babbled

“And you can’t ask Agatha?”

“I’m hoping to get an outsider's perspective.” Rio reasoned

“I see why you two get along, neither one of you makes any damn sense. Fine, Thursday.”

“Yes! Thank you!” She hugged Jen before searching her pockets for a card. “Here’s my number, text me! We’ll figure out a time - remember don’t say anything to Agatha! Please!”

—------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly 2:00 by the time Agatha rolled out of bed on Sunday. She had struggled to settle down after Rio had dropped her off and didn’t fall asleep until nearly three in the morning. Her mind was still consumed by the events of the previous week, particularly their last nights. Rio had seemed distant and antsy the whole last day, hardly speaking to her. She swirled about their conversation at dinner, I shouldn’t have brought it up, why did I bring up kids, clearly it was just a joke. And then there was the way she caught Rio staring at her, like she might explode at any minute. If the whole week had been a trial for their relationship she felt like she had failed. Like somehow Rio was afraid of her, maybe she came on too strong? It made her sick.

She threw on a pair of sweatpants and her robe and crept down the hallway to the kitchen in search of something to eat. As she rounded the corner she nearly smacked into Ralph who was raiding her fridge.

“Fuck! Ralph! Don’t do that!” She shouted as her heart slowed back to a normal pace.

“Don’t do what? I was just getting some cheese.” He replied as he closed the door. “Shit! Girl, you are lookin…rough. What happened, bad week?”

“You could say that. I also slept like shit.”

“It’s 2:00, you’ve been sleeping all day.”

“Doesn’t mean I slept well.” She said as she dug around in her half empty pantry. “You certainly made yourself at home here didn’t you? Really, you ate all my wheat thins?” She didn’t know whether to cry or kill him.

“No, they’re on the coffee table with the rest of my charcuterie. Come join me, I want all the tea about your trip with Rio.” She let him lead her to the couch where she collapsed onto the pillows and stuffed a grape into her mouth. “Was it really that bad?” He asked, seeing her forlorn look.

“Well yes and no. I mean Rio was great! She was super helpful, barely let me lift a finger. She cooked half the time. I’d probably still be sorting through garbage if she hadn’t come and helped.”

“But…?” He asked, seeing the inevitable coming.

“I think…I fucked it up!” She hadn’t expected it but tears began to stream down her face. “I don’t know, she was really standoffish the last couple of days. The whole ride back was practically silent, she just kept looking over at me like I was gonna die or something.”

“Did something happen?”

“Well…” she sniffled then chuckled to herself, “She had planned this whole day on Thursday, it was so sweet. We went to the museum, a bookshop, I met a few people that she used to work with. This one guy she knew was showing us pictures of his grandson…” she started to sob “and he was so cute, just this little tiny guy…and…I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” Ralph asked as he helped himself to cheese and crackers.

“I saw the way Rio looked at him, and it made me think.” she was hiccuping through the sobs now.

“Oh, honey!” Ralph cooed as he rubbed her leg comfortingly

“I thought I was done with the whole kid thing but…I’m not!” she breathed in shakily “I saw her looking at that baby and thought, maybe it could still be possible. One way or another.” She managed to slow her sobbing.

“Did you ask her about it?” He asked, cautiously.

She swallowed back the tears threatening to fall again. “I may have brought it up at dinner that night.”

“I’m afraid to ask, but how did that go?”

“You should have seen the look on her face! She looked like I told her I’d killed her whole family, and then choked on the wine she was drinking.”

“Yeah, maybe not the reaction you were going for, but it probably just caught her off guard.”

“Then the whole ride back to the house was awkward and silent. I tried to make it up to her later but that didn’t go well either.”

“What? Did you break her nose trying to ride her face or something?” He joked, attempting to break the tension.

“Can’t. you. be. serious. for one. second?!” She grunted as she smacked him repeatedly on the arm.

“Ok…ok, I’m sorry. What happened?”

“Nothing! Nothing happened!” She shouted

“What do you mean?”

“Her period started so she asked for a rain check.” She whined

“Ugh…gross!”

“Oh! Grow up!” She shoved him as she rose from the couch and headed into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.

Just as she turned to put away the creamer Ralph noticed the scratch on her cheek. “Um…what the fuck happened to your face?”

Agatha rolled her eyes as she returned to the couch, mug in hand. “Oh fuck! I completely forgot about that!” She laughed to herself. To think, she had been so wrapped up in Rio she had completely forgotten about Evanora. “You are not going to believe who showed up at the estate sale!”

“Who?!” Ralph asked, half worried, half giddy with anticipation.

“My fucking mother!” Agatha groaned.

“No!” Gasped Ralph “Tell me everything!”

“I walk downstairs and she’s standing there talking to Rio. Who knows what she said to her. Of course we get into it and I don’t know, I think she forgot there were other people around, and she smacked me. I didn’t really see what happened after that but apparently Rio shoved her and threw her out of the house.”

“Oooo knight in shining armor!” Ralph teased.

Agatha glared at him and rolled her eyes. “Anyway, that’s what this is from. ”

“So, have you heard from her?”

“Who? My mother?”

“No, bitch! Have you talked to Rio? Since you got back.”

“I just woke up. I don’t even know where my phone is.”

“How do you live like this? Go check and see if she texted you before you spiral too much further into this pit of self loathing.” He urged.

She rolled off the couch in search of her phone, eventually finding it at the bottom of her duffle bag. She could feel her chest tighten with anxiety as she turned it over to check for messages. The glowing screen met her with some instagram notifications, a few emails from work, but nothing from Rio. Her breath stilled in her chest and she could feel a cold lump forming in her throat. Trying not to panic she headed back to Ralph in the living room.

“Nothing!” She sighed as she tossed her phone at him. “See! I told you! I fucked it up.” She flopped next to him on the couch, burying her face in her hands.

Ralph swung his arm around her, pulling her onto his shoulder. “Listen, it’s been less than 24 hours. Give her a chance to miss you a bit at least.”

“But I already miss her!” She pouted.

“Then tell her!” He dangled her phone in her face. “Instead of crying about it! Because, I love you, but this is pathetic! Even for you!”

She sat up gradually, taking the phone from him. She stared at the last messages, Rio letting her know she was headed to Boston, and contemplated what to say. In the end she landed on,

Hey hon! Hope you made it to work alright. Already miss you! 💜

She pressed send and threw her phone on the other side of the couch. She laid back, stretching her legs into Ralph’s lap as Scratchy jumped up onto her stomach and began kneading and purring loudly.

“How was he for you while I was gone?” She asked.

“Oh, he was pissed! He kept walking around the house screaming. I’d give him food and treats and he’d calm down for a bit but would start screaming again eventually. He only settled down when I threw your dirty laundry on the chair over there.”

“I was wondering where that went. I thought you might have tried to wash it!” She chuckled. “Damn, how many treats did you give him? He’s so much heavier!” She groaned as he finally settled in.

“Listen, I was trying anything to get him to shut up. He’s so needy! I wonder where he gets that from?” He huffed

As Scratchy sat there purring she could feel the odd spasm return at her side. She pushed him off of her lap to sit up as she pressed her fingers to the spot hoping it would stop soon.

“Why are you making that face?” Ralph asked, seeing her nose and eyebrows scrunched in discomfort.

“Ugh, my stomach has been insane lately! I keep getting this weird spasm? Like bubbles or something, but sometimes it goes away if I…” she let out a loud belch, “burp.”

“Nice!” He commented, a little grossed out. “Did you ever go see a doctor like Jen told you to?”

She glared at him, “What do you think?”

“If you’re still having issues you should go see a doctor. It’s probably only going to get worse until you do.”

She burped again, “Fine, I’ll have Sharon call tomorrow and make me an appointment.”

—--------------------------------------------------------

After making plans with Jen for Thursday, Rio buried herself in the mountain of work that she had come back to in an attempt to distract herself. The piles of paperwork, staff meetings, and three consultations had kept her busy, but her mind kept running over and over the task ahead. By the time she made it out of the building, just after midnight, she was nearly delirious with exhaustion. In her sleepy haze she sat in her car and finally checked her phone. Along with a series of missed calls from Lilia, she saw the lone message from Agatha. In her preoccupation to solidify her plans she hadn’t even thought to check in with Agatha herself.

She thought of all the catching up still yet to do from their week away. She was aware of her own trepidation and nerves around seeing Agatha before she had a chance to talk with the others. She needed time to think and prepare. Not that she didn’t want to see Agatha, she just needed to conserve her energy wisely before the inevitable fallout of what was yet to come.

Sorry to get back so late, my love, I’ve been swamped. It’s gonna be a busy week. Not sure when I’ll get to see you, I’ll let you know.

She figured that would at least buy her some time until Thursday. She hurriedly sent the message and headed home before she could fall asleep at the wheel.

—------------------------------------------------

Agatha awoke the next morning to the sound of her alarm blaring from her phone on the nightstand. She reached over, still half asleep, as she brought the screen to her face to turn it off. With the alarm silenced, her screen flashed back to a text notification she couldn’t quite see without her glasses. She fumbled around in her nightstand drawer until she found her spare pair and blinked her eyes into focus.

Rio Vidal - message

A sudden rush of fear and excitement bolted her awake. She quickly unlocked her phone and tapped on the message. As she scanned it she felt her heart drop in disappointment. Not sure when I’ll get to see you. It sat heavy in her stomach like a bag of sand. She figured after their week away Rio would be busy, sure, but before they had still been able to make time for each other. She was left with the same feeling of unease she had when Rio dropped her off, and wasn’t sure how to respond, so she pushed herself to get up and moving, determined to brush it off. As she readied herself for work she struggled to find an outfit that fit. All of her pants were snug and her chest was busting out of half of her tops. After changing several times, she ended up throwing on a loose fitting dress under her long navy coat before heading out the door late for work.

When she entered the administrative part of the building she was greeted brightly by Sharon, “Welcome back dear! Don’t you look radiant today!”

“The only thing I’m radiating is the desire to sit down and be left alone. I have too much to catch up on.”

“About that dear, Herb is waiting in your office, you have a meeting with the board at 9:30.”

Agatha groaned and rolled her eyes as she headed down the hallway to her office. “Of course I do. Anything else I should know?”

Sharon grinned apologetically “While you were out they scheduled a seminar with Mr. Kaplan for Thursday evening and on Saturday they want to do an afternoon dress rehearsal of his newly commissioned work for select donors.”

“And none of this could have waited until I got back to schedule or plan?”

“They want to capitalize on his availability since he’ll be leaving for Prague on Sunday.”

“Lovely!” she bit sarcastically, “If you would, I’m going to need the strongest coffee you can bring me before I head into this meeting with the board.”

“You got it dear! Have you eaten anything?” Sharon asked sweetly.

“Not yet, I haven’t had time.” Agatha replied bluntly.

“I’ll grab you something to eat as well.” Sharon offered, knowing that might help take the edge off.

“Please, just a banana or something, I need to cut back on the pastries, half of my clothes aren’t fitting these days.”

“Will do, dear. Be back in a jiff!”

Agatha took a deep breath before she burst through the door of her office startling Herb. “Herb! I hear we’re meeting with the board this morning?”

“Oh, Agatha! Glad you made it in! I was worried you might have gotten held up in Boston. How did everything go with the house?”

“Fine. Who called for the meeting this morning?” She wasn’t going to delve into her personal details, especially with this unexpected inconvenience.

“It was a joint decision. I, along with several of the members, wanted to go over plans for the rest of this year in preparation for our upcoming summer season. Due, much in part, to your hard work with the fundraiser earlier this year, we may have the opportunity to invite some more artists into the fold. If so, it could give us the opportunity to attract some new donors, if we can determine the right people and programming and we’d like your input on that.”

“And this needed to happen first thing this morning?” She growled, clearly annoyed.

“That is due to the board’s availability, unfortunately.” Her explained.

Agatha sighed and moved to put her stuff down just as Sharon returned.

“Alrighty, dear! I have an iced latte with an extra shot, a banana and a yogurt.”

“Excellent! Thank you Mrs. Hart” Agatha said dismissively.

“Sharon, Dear.” Sharon corrected for the umpteenth time.

“Right. Herb, let’s get this over with.”

She stormed out of her office with Herb in tow down to the board room. As they neared the glass door at the end of the hallway she could see they were the last to arrive. She swung the door wide, making her presence known, and found her seat between Dr. Jones and Freddy, head of marketing. She sat back and tucked in to her breakfast, finishing her coffee quickly, as Herb dove into the topic at hand. They prattled and bickered, talking in circles about potential programs and what their needs were in attracting new audiences and donors. She was only half listening as her thoughts ping-ponged between all the work she still had to catch up on and Rio’s message. What should she say? It hadn’t left much room for response. Did Rio not want to see her? Was she avoiding her after everything, or was she really that busy? Was she just overthinking everything after how awkward the ride back had been? She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something brewing between them.

“Harkness? You with us?” Hearing Herb’s voice call out to her she scanned the room, seeing all eyes on her.

“I heard you!” She snapped. “What do you want me to say Herb? It’s the same discussion we have every year. You keep going back to the same tired works expecting to draw in new people. Without offering them anything different it’s going to be the same tired, old, crowd.”

“Then what are you suggesting?” Spat Martha, the CFO and longest running member of the board. Her wrinkled old face puckered in frustration and condescension at the very thought of change.

“If you want to attract donors that aren’t going to die in the next ten years you can’t expect them to sit and listen to music. They don’t have the attention spans for that. They need to experience the music.”

“Exactly what I’ve been saying!” shouted Freddy.

“And you know how much I hate to agree with Freddy.” she added. “Other cities have seen success with fusion concerts. I also think Freddy’s idea about the classical rave has legs.”

“Thank you!” Freddy sighed as he patted her shoulder then rested his hand there. “Finally someone is making sense!”

Agatha brushed him off with a look of disgust and annoyance. “Whatever we end up with should be targeted at people under 60 as they are the intended audience.”

Martha retorted at the age comment, sparking another lively back and forth between her, Herb and Freddy. As Agatha sat back, letting them continue to swirl, she felt the odd spasm return once again. This time it was a bit higher, up near her ribs. She shifted, hoping it would release whatever pocket of air was trapped, and waited for it to subside. Through another hour of pointless discussion, her mind still swirling about Rio, the spasm stopped and started, sometimes lower, sometimes higher, adding another layer of frustration to an already enormous waste of her time.

As the meeting wrapped she quickly gathered her things and made a b-line for her office, catching Sharon at her desk along the way.

“Hey! I’m going to need you to clear my schedule for the rest of today. If I have to deal with one other person after that disaster my head might explode!”

“Of course, dear. Are you alright?” She asked, seeing Agatha’s look of discomfort as she kneaded out another spasm.

“I’ve got a headache and I keep getting this spasm that’s driving me crazy. Oh, which reminds me, can you call my doctor’s office and make an appointment for as soon as possible?”

Clearly Ralph was right, ignoring it wasn’t going to make the problem go away and it had already gotten worse. It was time she got it checked out. She swiftly entered her office, closing the door with a slam behind her, and slunk into her chair heavy with the weight of all that had already happened that day, and got started on her mountain of work.

About thirty minutes later Sharon came by with lunch and some documents for her.

“Here dear, this should help you feel a bit better. Also, I called and made that appointment for you. The doctor is out for the next few weeks so the earliest I could book is a month out.”

She sighed as she took the bag of food. “Thank you, that’ll have to do.” She waved Sharon out dismissively as she returned to her ever growing list of tasks, catching up on emails and solidifying plans for the newly scheduled seminar she now had to organize for Thursday. All of which took longer than it should have as she kept debating on how to respond to Rio. She’d pick up her phone and stare at it for a while as she thought of what to say only to quickly put it right back down, unable to string together the right words. Was she too in her head about this? Should she ask if anything is wrong or relax about the whole thing? By the time she left work she still had not replied and decided she would talk it over with Ralph when she got home.

“I just can’t tell if I’m overreacting.” She groaned as she slipped her shoes off, throwing them just beside the door.

“Oh, you’re overreacting!” He laughed

“You can’t possibly know that, I haven’t even shown you the message!” she huffed

“I know you, you’re definitely overreacting.” He said as she handed him her phone to read the message. “So, I wouldn’t say it’s warm and fuzzy, but she also sent it at like 1:00 in the morning. I’m sure she was just tired after a long shift.”

“But what’s the, not sure when I’ll get to see you? Does she even want to see me?” She could feel her chest tighten at that thought. The idea of losing the only person she had let herself open up to, the only person who had let her see she still had love to give, was unfathomable. “What if she never wants to see me again?” Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes.

Ralph, seeing the storm brewing, put the phone down and walked over, wrapping her in a hug. “Hey, I’m going to need you to take a breath. You’re kind of at a ten right now.” She took a shuddering breath against his chest. “Good, now look at me.” He sandwiched her face between his hands. “She’s just busy, It’s going to be fine. Give her some space. Just text her to check in and leave it at that. Unless she says something is wrong then you can’t assume anything is wrong.”

Agatha nodded, taking another shaky breath as she blinked away the wetness in her eyes. “You’re right. You’re right. It’s fine, everything is fine. What should I say?” She asked as she picked up her phone.

“Wow this is painful!” He rubbed his eyes in frustration. “Just ask her how her day was. Tell her how yours was. Hell, see if she wants to hang out this weekend. The basics Agatha!”

She typed out a quick message:

Hey! Thinking about you! Sounds like you came back to as much chaos as I did. Any chance you’d have a break in the mayhem to join me for a seminar on Thursday afternoon? 5:00?

She had Ralph read over it then she pressed send. Her body tingled with doubt and anticipation as she stared at the screen, secretly hoping for an instant reply.

Ralph grabbed her phone and set it on the counter. “Now, you’re gonna go change, come back and drink this chardonnay with me, and we’re gonna rewatch Real HouseWives of Salt Lake until we fall asleep.” She sighed with a mixture of exhaustion and relief as Ralph nudged her down the hallway.

—--------------------------------------------------

Rio hadn’t had a moment’s rest since she stepped into the hospital late Monday afternoon. She had slept practically until she had to leave, finally finding some relief after having gotten the agreement from Jen to meet on Thursday. She didn’t have a chance to check her phone until nearly midnight when she grabbed a bite to eat. Her heart swelled as she saw the notification from Agatha. She missed her dearly but the pile of work she had to get through before Thursday was practically drowning her. She hurried to read it while nerves fluttered in her chest. As soon as her eyes scanned the word Thursday her stomach was in her throat. No, she couldn’t attend the seminar, she couldn’t exactly say why either.

Sorry, my love, but the mayhem rests for no one, not even me! Unfortunately, I won’t be able to join you at the seminar. Perhaps we can catch up afterward though?

As she sent the message her heart skipped a beat. Afterward. Afterward, she would have no excuse. She would have to talk to Agatha. She couldn’t let it simmer any further. Might as well get it all over with in one foul swoop.

With a renewed feeling of anxiety about the whole thing she reached out to Jen, confirming all was in place with the others.

Hey Jen! We still good for Thursday, 5:00?

As soon as she set her phone down it buzzed in reply. She snatched it back up, hoping for it to be Agatha, but found Jen’s quick reply instead.

Hey Rio! Yeah Alice and I are down. I haven’t checked with Ralph yet. I’ll ask him tomorrow when I see him.

Rio could feel a lump in her throat as she waited for the last piece of the plan to click into place.

Sounds good - just make sure he knows - don’t tell Agatha!

Yes, I got it! Don’t tell Agatha!

Three days still to go and she was ready for the whole thing to be over.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Agatha had had a fitful night’s sleep. Between her fears about Rio and the three glasses of wine she had, her mind was a vortex she struggled to tame. As she groggily turned off her alarm she could feel the dull throbbing of a headache from the wine along with the return of the spasms. She was surprised to find, as she sat up, a wave of nausea crashing over her. She stumbled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom only to barely make it to the toilet. After she flushed the contents of her stomach down the drain she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She hurried to clean herself up and called for Ralph to enter.

“Hey, I heard you up, everything ok?” He asked, seeing her stumble out of the bathroom a bit disheveled.

“No! I knew I shouldn’t have had that third glass last night. It didn’t stay with me this morning. What are you doing up?” She looked at him in confusion, Ralph rarely rose before noon.

“I’m meeting Jen at the gym before her shift.” He explained

“The gym? Who are you trying to impress?” She spat back with a laugh

“Listen, I’ve got to get my shit together before my next cruise contract. I can’t afford to replace my entire wardrobe.”

Agatha narrowed her eyes at him, not entirely buying that excuse, and moved to double check the time on her phone. She caught a glimpse of Rio’s message and she immediately felt the prick of disappointment. She had hoped Rio’s presence could save her from what was promising to be a dismal affair. And again, it was how she phrased it, perhaps we could catch up. Was she unsure? It felt very noncommittal.

‘What is it?” Ralph asked, seeing her pause.

“Rio texted.” She replied shortly

“Good, what did she say?”

“She can’t make it on Thursday.” She lowered the phone, pressing it into Ralph’s chest as she passed him to start getting dressed.

“That sucks! Did she say anything else?” He asked as he unlocked her phone and read through the message. Agatha ignored the question as she dug through her closet trying to find something that wasn’t a struggle to put on. “She asked if you wanted to get together afterward.” He called out to her.

Agatha rolled her eyes as she squeezed into a purple sweater. “She asked if I wanted to catch up after.” She groaned, throwing off the sweater to try again.

“And…?” Ralph asked, “Do you?”

“Would I like to see her? Yes. Would I like to have dinner, or maybe grab a drink or something? Yes. Do I want to catch up? It feels like an afterthought, like I’m a childhood friend she hasn’t seen in a long time and I’m in town so we should catch up.” She grumbled as she stuck her head through an oversized dress shirt.

“You’re reading into things again.” He scoffed, annoyed. “You’re mad because you like her and you’re worried she may not be as head over heels.” Agatha let out a frustrated grunt as she struggled to zip up another pair of pants. “Move, those pants don’t go anyway.” Ralph pushed past her to dig around in her closet.

“At this point I don’t care what they look like, I just want them to zip!” she whined. “I am so sick of whatever is going on with my digestive system. I’m so bloated, that weird spasm keeps coming back, I have heartburn half the time.” Her eyes grew wide with concern as she gasped, “What if I have a tumor?!”

“Did you make an appointment with your doctor like I suggested?” Ralph sassed

“Yes, my assistant set one up but it’s not for like a month.”

“Ok well, you have something scheduled at least. Just try not to worry about it too much until then. As for Rio, you clearly want to see her just say so, who cares how she phrased it.” He said as he pulled out a flowy skirt with a stretchy waist and an oversized sweater. “Here!” He shoved the items at her as he headed toward the door. “You want me to make you a protein smoothie? It should help with the hangover.”

“Yes! And two ibuprofen!” She easily slid on the garments and went to check herself out in the mirror. She hated when Ralph was right. Though she wouldn’t have picked it out herself, the outfit was quite flattering and comfortable. She sighed, annoyed at that fact, and went to grab her phone off the bed to re-read Rio’s message.

Ok, maybe she was reading into things, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Before they left Rio would text her throughout the day, she would stop by before her shift, she’d leave her voice messages when she’d gotten home late for Agatha to wake up to. And now, not sure when I’ll see you…maybe we can catch up afterward. It felt like she was being strung along. She loved Rio, and thought Rio loved her, but now she was growing frustrated at the seemingly half hearted responses. Perhaps it was time for Rio to get a taste of her own medicine. Without responding she threw her phone in her bag, determined to wait and see, would Rio reach out again?

—--------------------------------------------------------

By the time Ralph entered the Planet Fitness he was already 20 minutes late to meet Jen. He put his stuff away in the locker rooms and went in search of her, finally finding her on the second level finishing up a run on the treadmill. She glared at him and hopped off as he approached her.

“Where the fuck have you been?” She growled at him as she moved to wipe down her machine.

“Girl, do not get me started! Agatha’s been driving me absolutely nuts! If I wasn't starting a new contract in a month I’d be moving in with you. Tomorrow.”

“You know those aren’t the only two options, you can rent an Airbnb or something.”

“Yes but then I’d be spending money and you know I only use that for food, wigs, and trips.”

Jen rolled her eyes as she led them to the weights. “What’s Agatha torturing you with now?” She asked as she started a set.

“So you know how she can be dramatic and emotional, and that emotion is usually bitch.”

“Oh, I remember!”

“Well she’s figured out how to take it to a new level. On top of her regular charm she’s been whining and crying about Rio cuz I guess things were weird in Boston? I hate managing relationship drama and she’s been so needy! Really I think she’s just overthinking everything and blowing this way out of proportion.”

“Huh” Jen breathed with a look of confusion and curiosity.

“Huh? What huh?” Ralph asked as he started his set.

“Well, funny you mention Rio. She tracked me down at the hospital on Sunday and was being weird and cryptic. She wants to take us to Happy Hour on Thursday.”

“Chili’s?” Ralph perked up excitedly

“I’m sure she’ll take us wherever.” Jen dismissed “but, she specifically said don’t tell Agatha. That means you too!”

“Oof, I will do my best! You know I can’t hide shit from her. She's going to smell something’s off, she’s already on edge.”

“Well, do your best. Avoid her if you can.” Jen advised.

“Did she say what it was about?” Ralph asked.

“No, like I said, she was being cagey. Just said she wanted our outsider input on something.” She shrugged.

“Ugh” Ralph grimaced “You don’t think she’s going to break up with her do you?!”

“Fuck, I hope not! I don’t want to deal with that aftermath!” Jen exclaimed.

“You’re telling me! I’m the one living with her!” Ralph emphasized “

Wait, if she was going to break up with Agatha why would she take us out in the first place?” Jen asked.

“Good point. Maybe she wants Agatha to move in with her?” Ralph guessed.

“Agatha owns that house.”

“Yeah, but would you want to give up that sick apartment?”

Jen shrugged in agreement, “Well whatever the fuck is going on it needs to resolve itself quickly. I don’t like being dragged into this bullshit. I do want some free margaritas though, so are you in?”

“When?”

“Thursday, 5:00.”

“Can we go to Chili’s? I’ve been thinking about chicken crispers since karaoke.”

“Yes, I’ll see if she’ll take us to Chili’s”

—————————————————

Upon heading into another jam-packed day on Tuesday afternoon Rio was buzzing with anticipation. She hadn’t heard from Jen or Agatha and her anxiety as the day grew closer felt like it could crush her at any minute. Unfortunately she didn’t have time to resolve any of it as she was already running late for her first consultation. She hurried in, throwing her stuff down in her office and rushed to her meeting. Four consultations, two insurance approval calls, and a missed dinner later she finally made it back to her office to finalize her patient paperwork. As soon as she settled into her chair there was a knock at her office door.

“Come in!” She called

“Hey! How’s it going?”A rush of relief washed over her as Jen stepped into the room and she hopped up to greet her.

“Jen! I’m so glad to see you! Did you get a chance to talk to Ralph, is he able to come?”

“Yeah” she chuckled at Rio’s exuberance “He said he’ll come if you’ll take us to Chili’s.”

“Done!” She felt a million times lighter at the news. “5:00 still works?”

“Yeah, we’ll meet you there! Anything else you can tell me about this super secret happy hour?” She asked, trying to sound casual though her curiosity was evident.

Rio’s eyes widened at the question, “Well…I…um. I think it would be better if I just went over everything when we’re all together.”

“You’re not trying to break up with her are you?” Jen asked bluntly.

Rio shook her head in shock, “What?! No!”

Jen sighed with relief, “Oh, thank god!”

Rio laughed in confusion, “Is that what you thought this was about?”

“Well, yeah! You’ve both been fucking weird since you got back. Ralph says Agatha’s a mess.”

Rio’s heart dropped hearing that. “What do you mean?”

“I guess she’s stressed and thinks she fucked things up with you.” Jen explained.

Rio’s face drew white with panic, “No! Holy shit, no. I’m just…I’m worried about her, but this week’s been crazy, my sleep is all messed up. I’ve not really been myself. I just needed a little space before we talked.”

“Well, if you’re not breaking up with her I’d tell her that before she spirals any further.” Jen advised and she made her way to the door. “Sorry, but this is the crazy you signed up for.”

“Heh, you have no idea.” Rio huffed under her breath. “Thanks Jen! I’ll see you all Thursday!”

Rio slumped against the door as she closed it behind Jen. Fuck! The last thing she wanted to do was upset Agatha.

———————————————

As Agatha made it home Tuesday night she was a ball of frustration and rage. On top of another chaotic day trying to coordinate the seminar on Thursday and plan for the impromptu recital on Saturday she still hadn’t heard from Rio. She was doing her best not to imagine the worst case scenario, but at this point she could only feel it as inevitable. Had she even noticed Agatha hadn’t responded? Did she even care at this point? She was angry, at herself, at Rio, at the whole situation. Why had she let herself believe, even for a second, that this could work? Clearly, she wasn’t meant to find love. She wasn’t meant to be loved. She wasn’t meant to have a family. She wished she could just let that piece of her die so she didn’t have to feel the pain of this rejection.

She bust through her door and threw all her things beside it in a huff. She stormed into the kitchen and began preparing herself something to eat. Just as she was slinging around pots and pans, trying to find the one she was looking for, Ralph wandered into view, saw the angered chaos, and quickly tried to make an exit.

“Where are you going?” She snapped.

Ralph froze, clearly trapped. “I was coming to get something to eat, but it can wait. I see you’re…busy” he muttered tentatively.

“What did you do with my cast iron pan?” She asked accusingly

“It’s in the oven.” He explained calmly, hoping to dispel some of the tension as he went and grabbed it for her. “I was seasoning it for you.”

Agatha let out a huff, “Oh, thanks.” Then quickly turned back to preparing her food.

“Rough day?” He asked, already anticipating the answer.

“No!” She shouted sarcastically “Everythings fine! See!” She gave him a cheesy grin before her face immediately fell.

“Alright” he laughed nervously, “as long as you’re good!” He eased back once again trying to escape.

“You know, I am this close to telling Herb to shove this fucking seminar. Why do they feel the need to do these things?! Nobody wants to go, I have to work with Freddy to try and get butts in seats and I swear if he pats me on the back one more time I’m going to break his fucking arm.” She threw the vegetables she was cutting aggressively into a bowl.

Ralph let out an exasperated sigh as he settled onto the stool at the counter, he had lost his chance to leave, he was in for the long haul now. “Oh boy, that’s the worst.” He said less than enthusiastically.

“Please tell me you’re free and can come to this stupid thing so I don’t have to go by myself!” She whined.

“When is it?”

“This Thursday, 5:00.”

Ralph let out a nervous cough. “I…uh…no, sorry I’m busy.”

“Seriously?!” She groaned. “What could you possibly be doing at 5 on a Thursday?”

“Hey! I have a life! I made plans.” he exclaimed

“Oh really? What plans? And can I talk you out of them?”

“I’m sorry but free chicken crispers and margaritas are involved so it’s going to be a hard no!”

“Can’t I just take you to Chili’s afterward instead?” she begged, pouting her lip.

“Aren’t you seeing Rio after?” He asked slyly

Agatha glared at him and turned back to the stove, “I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Oh, come on, you’re not still pissy about what she texted you!” He groaned

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she emphasized

“Ugh! You are so dramatic! Either tell her how you’re feeling or shut the fuck up about it!” He said as he got up, grabbed a box of cereal and headed to his room.

Agatha stood in the kitchen stewing as she finished cooking her dinner. She was frustrated with work, devastated by Rio, and now enraged at Ralph. She wanted to eat her dinner as quickly as possible, take a shower, and go to bed.

The next morning she awoke with her alarm, still feeling the lingering heat of anger from the night before along with the ever familiar presence of heartburn. She groaned at the ache as she rolled over reaching for her phone. As soon as she recovered from the blinding glow of the screen she caught sight of a voice notification from Rio. She scrambled to throw her glasses on and sat up quickly scrolling to the message. Her thumb hovered over the message, unsure of what to expect. Then she closed her eyes and pressed play.

Rio’s voice, tired and gravely, echoed through her speakers, “Hey, Cariño! Sorry, I know it’s late. This week has been…hectic, to say the least. I’ve been thinking about you, hope you’re doing alright. I’m sorry I can’t make it to your seminar but let me know if you’re up to meet afterward. There’s…uh…something I’m hoping to talk to you about, so…let me know. I love you. Te veo.”

She sat in silence once the message finished. Her stomach turned as the words played over and over in her head. Something I want to talk to you about. What the hell did that mean? If she had been uneasy before it now felt like her world had spun upside down. She could feel the bile in her stomach working its way up again. She threw her phone on the bed and ran to the bathroom, only to repeat the spewing of the day before.

Now empty, she sank to lay on the bathroom floor as the words continued to echo in her mind. What was she supposed to do with that? How was she supposed to take that as anything other than ominous? How was she just supposed to go about her life until then? She pulled herself from the floor, peeled off her tank top and underwear, and crawled into the shower. She turned the water on cold, hoping the shock would bring her some clarity.

Ten minutes later, cold, shivering, and half numb she emerged from the shower in a haze. She couldn’t think about it, she had to block it out, otherwise it would consume her. She just had to make it to Thursday, somehow. She shoved herself into a pantsuit, threw her half-damp hair into a loose bun and headed out the door to work.

—---------------------------------------------------

As Rio finished her morning run she sat down on the steps of her apartment building and checked her phone. 10:00 and nothing from Agatha. She had sent a hazy voice message to her on the way out of the hospital at one in the morning, hoping to reassure her, let her know she missed her and was looking forward to Thursday, but had yet to get a reply. With everything else now in place she needed to make sure her plans with Agatha were secured. She still had a few hours before she had to be in, and after hearing from Jen how distraught she was, thought it might be best to swallow her nerves and surprise her in person.

She ran upstairs and hopped in the shower and quickly got ready. By the time she was done it was nearing lunch so she decided to stop by their favorite sandwich shop and grab them both lunch. She swung by a local flower shop and picked her out a nice bouquet then headed into Music Hall. As she entered the building her stomach was awash with butterflies. Having not seen Agatha since dropping her off on Saturday she wasn’t sure what she was walking in to. She pushed open the doors to the administrative part of the building and headed down the hall to her office. As she approached the closed door she took a breath and raised her hand to knock. Just as she was about to make contact Sharon popped out from behind her desk nearby.

“Oh! Sweetheart I wouldn’t do that if I were you!” she warned

Rio swung around, startled by the small woman’s presence. “Why? What’s going on, is everything ok?” she asked, concerned

“Ya know, today’s just one of those days where I wouldn’t bother her. She’s been in a mood all morning. Now she’s in her second meeting with Freddy and he’s already running over by 20 minutes. Something tells me she wouldn’t receive it very well right now.”

“Oh, ok.” Rio muttered in disappointment.

“I’d be happy to give her the flowers and whatever else you brought when she gets out. Just trust me, you don’t want to run into her today if you don’t have to! A-ha-ha-ha” Sharon laughed anxiously.

“Any chance you have some paper, I could write her a note?”

“Sure thing!”

—------------------------------------------------------

Agatha glanced at the clock again, 1:20. This meeting was supposed to have finished nearly an hour ago but Freddy couldn’t seem to keep his mouth shut. They had prepped for Thursday and he insisted they do a runthrough with Mr. Kaplan. They solidified plans for Saturday, ensuring the guest list was up to date and he demanded they review the seating arrangements. Now he was babbling on and on about the same market strategies and her patience was running thin. More funding, they always needed more funding, and that was her responsibility, but somehow Freddy always seemed to make it his priority.

“I know we are already ahead of our goal for this year, but if we could get 7% more from our donors before the spring season we would have the funding needed to hire a social media team.”

“What, is the intern you’re sleeping with not cutting it?” Agatha scoffed, completely over his groveling.

“That was completely uncalled for.” He spat.

“Was it wrong?” She looked him over, eyebrows raised, daring him to deny it. “That’s what I thought. I don’t know what you expect from me. We have to have something to offer these people and Martha refuses to fund any of your suggestions. You’re going to need to take this sales pitch over to her and Herb if you want anything to move forward.”

“But would you support me in going to Martha?” He begged

“I’m not going to hold your hand! You’re a big boy, go do it yourself. I have enough on my plate, and frankly, I’m done having this conversation.” She stood from her desk and began ushering him out.

“But will you talk to them too? Let them know how close we are and the impact it could have? I really think your opinion could sway them!” He squeezed in just as she started to close the door.

“I’ll think about it.” With that she slammed the door in his face and turned to collapse onto her office couch. Not two seconds later there was a knock at her door.

“What?!” She shouted as the door creaked open.

“Just me dear, there’s lunch out here for you, if you’re hungry.” Sharon asked sweetly.

“What is it?” Agatha groaned, not sitting up to acknowledge her.

“A turkey club from that place you like. Your friend brought it for you.”

At that her head popped up, “What?! What friend?”

“Oh, she’s about your height, dark hair, she had on the cutest denim dress. I’ve seen her here once or twice before.”

“Rio?!” She gasped sitting bolt upright.

“Ope, I forgot to get her name! Oh but she left a note with the flowers.”

“Flowers?” Agatha stood to follow Sharon to her desk.

“Oh yes dear! Aren’t they lovely?!” She handed over the carefully arranged bouquet along with a sticky note.

Mi Amor,

Sorry to have missed you! Hope to catch you tomorrow. Let me know!

🖤

Rio

After the message this morning this was the last thing she had expected. She wasn’t sure how to feel. She would have thought this would have brought her some relief but it made her more confused and apprehensive about whatever Rio wanted to talk about. Was this an attempt to soften whatever blow was in store? It felt like Rio was toying with her. Not really speaking to her all week, sending that cryptic message, and now she randomly showed up for lunch? Something was definitely up.

“When…?” She uttered as she stared at the note?

“Sorry dear, didn’t quite catch that.”

“When was she here, when did she drop this off?” She snapped at Sharon

“Oh, must have been just after noon. You were still in your meeting with Freddy so I told her not to disturb you.” Sharon explained tentatively. Agatha groaned loudly and stormed back into her office. “Do you want me to put these in a vase for you?” She called after her.

Agatha slammed the door behind her, ignoring Sharon’s question, and began to pace back and forth in her office. She could feel her body pulsing with a mix of rage, panic, and fear. She had been right there! Had it not been for fucking Freddy she could have gotten to the bottom of everything! She was frustrated with Sharon, Rio would have been the perfect excuse to end the meeting. And then what could Rio want? Maybe she had just been busy this week. Had she blown things completely out of proportion? Possibly, but that wouldn’t explain the odd behavior leaving Boston. Had she been thinking about what Agatha said at dinner? Is that what she was hoping to talk about? Or was it something else entirely? Was she trying to break up with her? You wouldn’t really get flowers for someone you were trying to break up with, would you?

There were so many signals going off in her brain that she couldn’t sort through them. Having cycled through each one several times, still coming up with nothing obvious, she fell back into her office chair resigning herself to a sense of powerlessness at the whole situation. She felt blinded and confused and needed to find a way of gaining her control back. The only thing to do was agree to meet Rio, but on her own terms. She grabbed her phone and quickly typed out a message.

Heard you stopped by. Yes, we need to talk. I’ll let you know when I’m home tomorrow.

Short, simple, to the point and hopefully left Rio with just as many questions as Agatha had. Until then she wouldn’t engage, she didn’t want to give Rio any more power over her than she already had. For now, she would prepare herself as best she could for any possible outcome. Especially if she could sense things were going south, she couldn’t be afraid to call the whole thing off.

—————————————————-

Rio sat in her afternoon staff meeting regretting leaving her phone in her office. She thought if that distraction were out of sight she would be able to concentrate. She was wrong, if anything she couldn’t focus no matter how hard she tried. Her mind was stuck on Agatha. Had she gotten the note? Had she replied? Tomorrow was drawing nearer and with it a storm of uncertainty. She was caught up in a twister of potential scenarios when she heard someone calling her name.

“Vidal! This is you!” Shouted Dr. Jones, getting her attention.

“Yes, me. For what?”

“We have you assisting with tomorrow’s surgery. Bright and early.”

“Yes, of course.”

“I don’t want to see you here past 10. We need you on your game tomorrow.”

“Yes sir!”

“Alright that about covers it. Off you go!”

As the meeting ended Rio rushed to gather her things and immediately headed for her office. She had about 10 minutes before her last appointment of the day and she wouldn’t be able to focus if she didn’t indulge her curiosity before then.

She swung the door open and threw her things on an empty chair as she rushed to dig through her purse until she found her phone. She awoke the device and there it was, the message from Agatha. As she scanned it quickly her body was struck with a crushing numbness. Yes, we need to talk. Did…did she know? A million thoughts raced through her head, none of which she had the time to contemplate. She threw her phone down and rushed off to her appointment, all the while realizing it had been a bigger mistake to check before her day was done.

4:00 am Thursday morning, Rio was on her way to work doing all she could to push the thoughts that had haunted her all night out of her mind. She blasted the first playlist she clicked on as loud as she could tolerate in an attempt to drown out the noise still buzzing inside her. She had to focus, enough to get through this surgery, then she could redirect her energy to the event that had been consuming her for nearly two weeks.

After getting Agatha’s message she had spiraled, debating on whether or not to still even meet with everyone. If Agatha finally knew it kind of took the pressure off of her. That still left a deluge of unanswered questions that she had kept in the corner of her mind. She also figured if she canceled now it could create more questions and she didn’t want anything getting back to Agatha before they talked. By the time she finally rolled into the parking lot she had settled herself enough to accept whatever outcome was in store. She was just glad it would all be over soon.

—————————————————

As Agatha readied herself for the day she could feel her whole body reacting to the anticipatory anxiety that had been building to this moment. Her head and joints ached, her feet were swollen and stiff, her heartburn was flaring for the fourth day in a row, and that annoying spasm was acting up again. She knew she wouldn’t have much of a break before the seminar so after she slid into a roomy pantsuit and pulled her hair back into a low ponytail, she headed out to the kitchen to try and force herself to eat some sort of breakfast. As she was trying not to burn her last piece of toast Ralph stumbled into the room shirtless with his hair sticking up in every direction.

“Oh good, you’re still here.” He grumbled groggily.

“Unfortunately. You just caught me, I’m out the door as soon as this toaster forks over my breakfast.”

“Hey, any chance I could steal your key for today?” He asked gently.

“Didn’t I give you a key before I left for Boston?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, and I’m not saying I lost it. I’ve just misplaced it.” He reasoned.

Agatha groaned, “Fine! Just make sure to leave it under the mat when you leave. I’m coming straight home after the seminar to meet with Rio. I’m sure you’ll still be elbow deep in $3 margaritas at that point.” She said as she dug around in her bag for her key.

“Good! So you finally relaxed enough to agree to see her!” He chuckled.

She gave him a pointed look as she handed over her key. “We’re talking when I get home.”

Ralph perked up at that “Oh, interesting about what?”

“I wish I knew! She sent me that weird voice message i forwarded to you yesterday saying there was something she was hoping to talk to me about. Which of course doesn’t sound suspicious at all! Then she randomly showed up at my office with lunch and flowers!”

“Oh so you saw her yesterday?”

“No! I was stuck in a bullshit meeting and missed her.”

“Well, whatever it is can’t be that bad if she’s still bringing you gifts.”

“We’ll see. I can tell you, I’m at my limit with whatever game she thinks she’s playing so it better be something good or she should be prepared to lose.”

“Not everything is a game, Agatha.”

“Oh really? Because it certainly feels like she’s been playing with my emotional sanity all fucking week.” She sighed as the toaster popped out a half burnt piece of toast. “Fuck! If this is any indication as to how the rest of this day is going to go I’m already over it.” She quickly grabbed the toast and her bag and headed for the door. “Remember, key under the mat! Or I will find you!!” She yelled out to Ralph before slamming the door behind her.

————————————————

It was nearly 3:00 by the time Rio left surgery. Despite the pressure of the day ahead she was able to push through and help perform a successful surgery. Now she had just enough time to shower and change before meeting with everyone. As soon as the luke-warm water hit her all the thoughts and emotions she had held at bay came flooding back. Now was the time. She would dance around the topic to see if she could get one of them to spill and if nothing came of it she would lay all her cards on the table and have them help her sort through everything. It left a gnawing pit in her chest. Was she doing the right thing? Would Agatha understand? She truly loved and cared for Agatha and just wanted everything to be ok despite whatever came of today. Even if that meant Agatha was better off without her, thought she couldn’t see herself being alright without her.

After swirling about every possibility in the shower she dried her hair and threw on some jeans, a tank top, and her favorite blazer. When she checked the clock it was practically 4:30. She ran upstairs, grabbed her things and headed out to happy hour.

————————————————

When Jen and Alice walked into the restaurant they quickly spotted Ralph in a far booth, drink in hand.

“I see you’ve already gotten started!” Jen teased as they slid into the booth across from him.

“Listen, something tells me this is going to be a doozy, whatever it is.”

“Ugh, why do you say that?” Jen groaned.

“She’s meeting up with Agatha after this! To talk about something.” Ralph replied

“Great. Well, in that case…” She waved down a waiter “Yeah, I’m going to need whatever he’s drinking as soon as possible.”

“You got it. Anything I can get for you?” The girl asked Alice.

“I’m good with just water, I’ll be driving whoever I can pour into my car later.” The woman nodded and rushed off to get their drinks.

“I take it Rio isn’t here yet?” Jen asked

“I haven’t seen her yet. You think she’s still coming?”

“She better! I wasn’t planning on paying for shit today.” Jen scoffed.

“I think she just parked.” Alice said as she glanced out the window. Their eyes followed Rio as she made her way into the restaurant and to their table.

“Hey! Looks like someone’s already got the party started!” She smiled as she scooched into the booth beside Ralph. As soon as she settled the waitress came back with Jen and Alice’s drinks.

“And what can I get you?” Asked the girl

“One of whatever you just brought her and a water please!” Rio requested

“Can do!” She headed off to fill the order.

“So!” Jen prompted as she took a long sip of her drink.

“So…” Rio echoed with a nervous smile, “how have you guys been? It’s been a minute! ”

Jen and Ralph exchanged looks. “Fine.” Jen responded through a breathy laugh “You gonna tell us why we’re here?”

“Oh, you know, just had some questions for you. We can get into it once we’ve ordered. How was your week?” She asked, hoping to delay. She wasn’t ready to jump right into it though it was clearly at the top of everyone’s mind.

“Rough, Agatha is on one this week, no thanks to you!” Ralph grumbled, clearly annoyed.

“Oh, shit sorry about that! What’s…uh…what’s been going on?” She asked innocently, hoping it would lead to more.

“She knows you’re up to something. Her leading theories are, dealing with Evanora scared you away, she fucked up when she asked you if you wanted kids, or you're just gonna break up with her.” Ralph stated matter of factly.

“Woah, what?” Rio gasped, a little taken aback. “I told Jen I wasn’t breaking up with her.”

“Well that would have been nice to know! Jennifer! Would have saved me from having to talk her down off a ledge all week!” Ralph groaned

“Sorry! I didn’t realize it was my job to keep everyone up to speed! Plus you know she would have had a million questions if you came to her with that. You didn’t tell her we were meeting right?” Jen questioned

“No! I just told her I was going out for drinks. I didn’t say who it was with. Which by the way, that’s shady as fuck!” He exclaimed, turning to Rio. “Don’t tell Agatha? Between that and the voice message you sent her the other day I can’t really blame her for being suspicious.”

“What? How so?” Rio asked earnestly “I just told her I was thinking about her, asked if she wanted to meet up after this.” She explained

“Girl, you told her there was something you were hoping to talk with her about. She’s been hyperventilating about what the fuck it could be since you sent it!”

“No! I didn’t say that!” Rio exclaimed shocked

“Do you realize how many times I had to listen to that message, yes you fucking said it!”

“Alright, do we all know what we want to eat?” Asked the waitress, clearly unaware of the tension at the table. They each quickly placed an order then jumped back in as soon as she left.

“Oh, fuck! I did not mean to do that!” Rio sighed as she collapsed her face into her hands. “I knew I should have waited until the next morning, I was so tired, but Jen said she was stressed so I was trying to help. I’ve been so busy and have been dreading this all week, it’s been hard to think clearly.”

“Dreading what?” Alice chimed in, seeing the concern on Rio’s face.

Rio popped her head up and looked around the table nervously as everyone waited for her to elaborate. “Well…it’s about Agatha.”

“No shit!” Jen sassed “What about Agatha?”

“Well…I’m…um…I guess I’m a little worried about her.” She started tentatively

“Oh really? Could have fooled me!” Ralph scoffed as he finished his drink.

“Did she…um…does she…” she struggled to find the right phrasing, before landing on, “Is there anything going on with her that I should know about?”

“Outside of she’s batshit crazy and you shouldn’t piss her off, there’s nothing I can think of.” Jen offered.

“She’s only crazy right now because she’s obsessed with you and thinks you don’t like her. If you can fix that you’re probably fine.” Ralph added

“Ok, glad to hear that. Is there anything else you’re aware of? Anything else major happening in her life? Anything she’s brought up recently?”

Ralph and Jen looked at each other confused. “Outside of the weird gut thing, no.” Ralph assured

“Weird gut thing?” Rio’s interest piqued.

“Are you talking about her blowing chunks that one time?” Jen asked

“Oh, it’s been more than once. It happened again this week. She seemed to think it was the wine from the night before but I don’t know. She’s been complaining about stomach stuff for a while.”

Rio felt a flush of panic run through her at the mention of wine. “When… uh… when was that, earlier this week?” She asked cautiously.

“Yeah, Monday or Tuesday I think. She was stressing about you not texting and your weird trip back from Boston so I sat her down in front of Real HouseWives Salt Lake and we had a wine night.”

“Is that what you’re concerned about?” Alice asked, “Her drinking?”

“Not really. I mean yes, but not like that.” Rio stuttered.

“OH MY GOD! Just spit it out!” Jen groaned.

Rio felt her chest tighten as she tried to breathe and think of what her next words should be.

—-----------------------------------------------------

After struggling to focus through the tedious hour long seminar Agatha was finally on her way home. The whole day had been a blur as if she was just going through the motions. She had met with Herb and Freddy for an hour too long before rushing downstairs to collect the musicians for that afternoon. Mr. Kaplan had somehow been told the wrong time so she ended up missing lunch and a donor call to track him down and get him there for a final runthrough. All the while her mind was circling the conversation she was soon to have with Rio, which gave the day an extra layer of unease. As she turned onto her street she could feel her body prick with anticipation, each foot drawing her closer to what felt like an inevitable end.

She turned off her car and sat in her driveway, giving herself a moment to settle before she had to pull the trigger. She let out a deep sigh and pushed her way out of the car. She drug herself up the walkway and onto her porch as she began to search for her keys. It wasn’t until she reached the door did she remember she had given it to Ralph. She dropped her bag onto the floor and picked up the welcome mat.

No key.

She slammed it back down and took a breath. Surely, that fucking idiot, did not forget to leave the key. She lifted up the mat again.

Still no key.

Near her breaking point, she let out a hysterical burst of laughter. She stood up and took a couple paces back. Maybe he put it in the mailbox? It wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t follow directions. She wandered out to the end of her drive and peered in.

A few pieces of junk mail. No key.

She screeched in rage, she was ready to castrate him. She stormed back onto the porch and dumped the contents of her purse onto the ground in search of her phone. She immediately unlocked her phone and called Ralph. The call went straight to voicemail. She rang again. Straight to voicemail. She started pacing as her face radiated with the heat of her anger. She rushed to type out a message.

Where’s the key!!!?

She waited a few moments. Nothing. She called him again, straight to voicemail. She was going to kill him.

Answer your fucking phone! Where is my key!!!?

As she waited for a reply that didn’t seem like it was coming she remembered. Chili’s. If he wasn’t going to answer she’d go pick it up herself. She didn’t care if it ruined his date, at this point she was ready to cause a scene regardless.

—---------------------------------------------------

“So I’m still trying to figure out the details. I was hoping you could help me, but…I think Agatha might be pregnant.”

Jen burst out laughing, practically choking on a french fry. Alice raised her eyebrows in surprise. Ralph dropped his chicken crisper in his lap, mouth agape.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jen cackled “There’s no way! You can’t be serious!”

“Actually, I’m pretty confident about it.” She stared back at Jen worriedly

“Agatha? Agatha Harkness? No! She would have said something, right Ralph!”

Ralph’s eyes jumped between them panicstricken. “I well…yeah! I mean maybe not. I don’t really know.” He babbled, as his face grew paler and paler.

“Ralph,” Jen leaned in, eyebrows arched in cautious curiosity. “Did something happen?”

“Ok, I mean I thought maybe, at first, but then the test came back negative.” He could feel everyone’s eyes on him.

“What, the fuck, are you talking about.” Jen questioned aggressively.

“So…” he laughed nervously “at one point, a few years back, Agatha and I were talking and she mentioned she might still want kids.”

“Oh my god!” Jen exclaimed

“And I said, hey, technically you don’t have to be in a relationship to have a kid, right?” He gestured around the table hoping they would agree with him. They all stared back dumbfounded. “Right, so I offered to help make that dream a reality, being the generous friend that I am.”

“I can’t believe this!” Jen sighed as she shook her head.

“We tried a few times over the years but nothing stuck.” He admitted

“YOU WERE FUCKING, FOR YEARS!!!?” Jen shouted

“Ew god no! We turkey bastered that shit! And after the last time she said she was done trying so we stopped.”

“Last time? When was the last time?” Rio asked.

“Ooo, let’s see, I think it was around her birthday. So like 5-6 months ago. But like I said the test came back negative.”

“Please tell me you’re talking about a blood test and not a piece of shit out of a fucking box.” Jen growled

“Huh, so, about that…” he started

“Oh my god!” Jen breathed as she got up from the table to pace in front of it. “And she never went to the doctor like I told her, did she?!” She barked at Ralph

“She says she has an appointment next month for her stomach problems. But now that I think about it, this is making more sense.” Ralph explained

“Stomach problems. STOMACH PROBLEMS?” Jen huffed as the weight of what was happening hit her.

“Everything alright over here?” The waitress asked, seeing the commotion at the table.

Jen laughed a bit deliriously. “Oooo, far from alright. We’re going to need another round stat!” Jen continued her pacing as the woman went to get them more drinks. “How did you know?!” She spun her attention to Rio.

“I…uh…actually Lilia figured it out. She told me right before Boston. Once I got down there and saw everything for myself it seemed pretty obvious.” Rio explained. “But I didn’t know how or why and it seemed like Agatha didn’t know. Based on what you’re saying I still don’t think she knows.” She looked at them pleadingly. “This is where I was hoping you might be able to help.”

“To break up with her? Because I would be out the fucking door at this point!” Jen griped.

“No! I don’t want to break up with her!” She emphasized, “I love her! I just don’t know how to tell her she’s pregnant. Like, I tried when we were down there but I didn’t know any of the details so I didn’t know how to even bring it up without sounding like an ass. Now that I have some context it’ll be easier, but still, not an easy conversation.”

“Oh this is what you were planning to talk to her about tonight?!” Ralph asked, only now realizing.

“Well, yeah. The more time that passes with her not knowing, the greater the risk for complications.” Rio explained

“And based on your sketchy timeline that puts her well into her second trimester!” Jen emphasized. “Fuck! And why didn’t either of you tell me what the hell was going on?!”

“It wasn’t my choice! She said she didn’t want to worry you when it didn’t work out.” Ralph explained

“Great, well look how that turned out!” Jen whined.

“Sweetheart!” Alice cooed “Take a breath and have a seat.” She reached her hand out to welcome Jen back into their booth. “If this is what’s happening then we need to stay calm and figure out best how to support Agatha, she’s going to need it.”

“I’m this close to supporting her with my foot up her ass for being such a fucking moron!” Jen groaned.

“Trust me, I get it, but you’re her best friend, especially with your expertise, she’s going to need you.” Alice explained.

“Ugh, if you weren’t so hot I’d be mad at you for being right.” Jen sighed.

“So what’s the plan?” Ralph asked

Rio shrugged her shoulders looking between them. “I just have to talk to her, I can’t keep putting it off. She said she’d let me know when she got home.” Rio moved to check her phone. There was nothing from Agatha but there were missed calls from work. “Shit! Sorry, I’ll be right back. Just have to make a call.” She wandered off to a quieter part of the restaurant near the bathrooms.

In her absence the others took a chance to decompress and pulled out their phones.

“FUCK!” Ralph shrieked

“What?” Alice and Jen asked in unison

“Agatha! She called like 5 times. Shit! I forgot to put her key under the mat!” He hurried to call her back.

“Is that why she’s walking in now?” Alice asked as they all glanced out the window to see Agatha furiously storming in.

#agatha harkness #agatha all along #agathario #kathryn hahn #rio vidal #agathario au #agatha x rio #aubrey plaza #jennifer kale #ralph bohner #alice wu gulliver #sharon davis

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mymegrokosmos · 5 months ago

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Jun - MAMACITA

Mama, I might keep her, I might keep her. I don't love her, but I need her.

Another short one for you because this is all I've got the brainpower for rn. Do what you want with it. Toxic relationship dynamic where it turns him on how cruel she can be and instead of pushing him away for something healthier she keeps reeling him back in for more because self destruction is winning here.

It’s Friday night when you find yourself slipping out the door and rushing downstairs to meet him outside again. In another little black dress and sky high heels. He does a double take as you slide into the passenger seat of his car, the way the skirt rides up your thigh has him smiling even as you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. The way your hand lingers on his chest tells him everything he needs to know about where tonight is leading.

This has been your routine for almost a year now. Every weekend he picks you up. Sometimes you go for a late night drive, sometimes to the club, sometimes you get dinner at the little hole in the wall down the block from his apartment with the best fusion food for miles while he listens to you rant about your week. There’s always something. Someone pissing you off. Something going wrong. Some new problem at work for you to solve.

He spends every Saturday tucked up in either your bed or his, your limbs wrapped around him as you insist on keeping him there until deep into the afternoon. The sounds you make and the way your hair looks splayed across the pillows are enough to convince him. It’s always worth it.

He knows you’re going to leave him hanging afterwards, you always do, and yet for some reason you also still keep coming back. Keep meeting him for these nightly outings. Keep tugging him into bed. Keep chasing his kisses like they’re air despite every time you utter a ‘he’s not my boyfriend’ or push him away for someone else.

You might play with his heart but he knows when it comes down to it that if you have to choose you’re going to pick him every time. Maybe after a little hesitation or teasing, but in the end, he wins. He always will.

“Where to tonight doll?”

You lean back in the seat and the way your eyes roam over him, the way you bite your lip as they drift to his hands and back again, has him smirking as he starts the ignition again.

“Can we go up to that parking lot? The one you took me to last month with the pretty view of the city?”

He nods and then you’re lacing your fingers with the hand he rests on your thigh has he drives. What you’re really asking is to go somewhere he can bend you over the hood of his car without anyone seeing but while still feeling like the world could be watching if they wanted. If they looked a little harder.

Your hand tightens in his and he braces himself as you lean forward to fiddle with the music. The night goes as it always does. He knows how this ends.

He picks you up again on Sunday, this time you tug his hand as you push your way through the crowded club and find some space for you both to squeeze into on the dance floor. This, he thinks, might be worth all the headaches. All the stupid little fights. The arguments that make him lose all semblance of control and 9 out of 10 times end up in make up sex anyway.

Neither of you is good for the other, not now not without some communication and probably a whole lot of therapy but neither of you cares. In the long run, will it drive you both to the brink? Maybe. He doesn’t think he would rather have life any other way despite all that. And so, when he comes back from the bar to find you grinding on someone else he doesn’t let the jealousy fester.

Tonight he unclenches his jaw, flexes his fist, sips his drink and watches. When you turn to look at him, he knows, smirking at the look in your eyes. At the way you frown when your blatant display isn’t getting you the reaction you wanted.

He leans back against the wall and watches you push the man away with a sweet smile and a swing of your hair over your shoulder. Watches the way your hips sway deliberately just a little extra as you make your way back towards him. He lets his hands rest on them when you get close enough, just laying there without pulling you in the way you expect him to. Nothing possessive about his grip this time.

He leaves the ball in your court, and like always, you don’t disappoint. You grip his shirt by the collar and pull him in until his lips meet yours. It’s not love, you both know this, but it’s close enough.

As you press closer his arm slips around your waist and there you go, repeating the cycle again. You only serve to drive the knife deeper, damaging each other further every time it falls apart again but somehow, in some strange roundabout fucked up way, you also end up healing together. For now, that’s enough.

#seventeen #svt #jun #junhui #moon junhui #wen junhui #junhui x reader #jun x reader #svt drabbles #chase atlantic

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iamnotthere-idonotdie · 1 year ago

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adored

…………………………………………………………………………………….

synopsis: reader works a menial job where they meet bruce wayne. the two meet up later at a bar and spend the night together.

warnings: bruce wayne (battinson) x reader, one use of “fuck”, mention of sex, cheating, drinking

a/n: no use of y/n, physical attributes of protagonist is up to reader’s interpretation, some moments are probably ooc for pattinson’s bruce wayne but i had a visison, probably some typos, also sorry i have my auto-capitalization off, this is my first ever fanfic btw so be nice pls but also very much would love feedback, i got inspired by the song adored by sea girls so listen to that too if you want an idea of the vibe here, edit: here’s the whole playlist if you want

part 1 of 3

…………………………………………………………………………………….

“jumping jack enterprises, how may i help you?”

you’re customer-service voice wasn’t in full-swing today. it was a long night with your boyfriend, john, and you just wanted friday to end. it was another night of screaming and fighting and you didn’t know how you’d make it through this. you loved him, but you’re starting to wonder if that’s enough. you’ve been trying to convince yourself that it’s only recently starting being rocky between the two of you, but the truth is you’re not sure anymore why you’re even still together.

you’ve been together 4 years now, it’s become your new normal to come home to john. to see him at his armchair by the fireplace, drinking a cocktail and reading one of his pretentious novels. but you’re only realizing now that what you thought was affection is just infatuation. the spark is gone. the honeymoon phase is over, if it ever was there to begin with.

“let me direct you to our marketing department and they’ll get you the help you’re looking for.”

you hang up the phone and glance again at the clock. 4:51. nine minutes to go until you’re able to go back home to what will probably be another night of senseless arguing.

you start to pack up your things and then the door swings open. you sigh, annoyed that someone’s come in this late to closing. but you look up to see bruce wayne. bruce wayne? what is he doing here?

“can you show me to jack bill’s office please?” he asks in a low voice.

“mr. bill is out today, actually. he’ll be back monday afternoon.”

“can you leave this for him then?” he hands you a yellow envelope, with nothing but mr. bill’s name on it.

“um sure thing, mr. wayne. is there anything else i can help you with?” you ask, hoping you’re voice doesn’t sound as shaky as you think it does.

“no, thank you.” he turns and leaves the way he came.

“have a nice day…” and the door shuts.

that was strange. what did bruce wayne need to see mr. bill for? and why leave such a mysterious envelope like that? you try not to think too deeply into it as you finish gathering your things and shutting down the computers to leave.

your phone buzzes. it’s john. he’s leaving for the weekend, to see his brother. to clear his head. to think things through. even though you should feel upset, you can’t help but feel a sense of relief at not having to fight again, at least for a few days.

you decide instead of going home to mope, you head to a local bar. you can’t remember the last time you went drinking alone. in fact, you can’t remember the last time you went drinking at all. maybe it’ll be good, a change of scenery.

you hail a taxi and ask to be taken to the jade jewel. the car zips through traffic and fights off the rain as you make your way to the bar.

you’re there, and you feel a sudden wave of anxiety. maybe this isn’t a good idea. alcohol is probably not what you need right now. but the taxi’s already left to find another fare, and now you’re stuck, in your work clothes, at the only bar in town your mind could conjure up. you reluctantly walk in and get a table.

the bar is not how you remember it. it’s now more of a chill jazz club. okay, maybe this will actually be good.

you order an old fashioned and listen to the live music, the piano and the bass intertwining to make beautiful melodies. time seems to stand still as you’re lightly swaying along in your seat to the music. turns out, this is exactly what you needed.

you don’t pay attention to how long you’ve been sitting there, but it seems to be a while as people are starting to leave. the door opens and closes as couples file out to go home, but then you see out of the corner of your eye a familiar face. before you can fully register who it is, he’s waking over to your table.

“you work at jumping jack right? i saw you there today, gave you that message for mr. bill.”

“yeah, that was me. i didn’t know you came around here.”

“it’s one of the few places i can go without worrying about the press. if no one expects you to be here, then they won’t look for you here.”

“that makes sense i suppose.”

“i apologize for leaving in that way. i didn’t want to keep you there too late.”

“it’s okay, i was just confused about the envelope.”

“it’s just a letter letting him know about a potential merger. he’s done some great research that i think we could both benefit from if we work together.”

“yeah that sounds like a great opportunity for him.”

he just nods slightly as he sits there, and the two of you turn to watch the band play.

the now mostly empty bar becomes quiet for a moment as the band switches songs. you and bruce lock eyes, and for a brief second, you get butterflies in your stomach. he lightly smiles at you and you smile back. then the music picks up again, a slow tempo, romantic song. bruce holds his hand out across the table.

“would you like to dance?”

you pause for a moment, confused by his question. bruce wayne does not seem like the dancing type. but you have one and a half drinks in you and without thinking anymore, you smile softly and nod. he takes your hand and you both get up from the table, moving over closer to the stage. he has one hand around you, pressing against your back and the other hand is holding yours. you sway slowly together, to the beat of the jazz band’s tune. after a minute of this, he slowly guides his hand lower down the small of your back and brings you in closer. you’re pressed against each other, tightly, as you two dance in the lowlight of the bar. you haven’t felt like this in a long time. john never danced with you, even when the relationship was at its best. after what seems like forever, the song ends. but you stay holding onto each other. you turn to look up at him and he’s looking at you too.

“the music’s stopped” you say quietly.

“i know.” he says even softer.

…

the sunlight pries your eyelids open as you blink to wake up. morning. saturday. you breathe in deep and let out a sigh.

bruce lays beside you, still snoring softly. you want to feel guilty. for fucks sake you’re waking up with bruce wayne next to you, in the bed you share with your boyfriend of 4 years.

but you don’t. because you just had the best night in a long time. you slowly get up out of bed and throw bruce’s shirt on. as you make your way to the kitchen, you can’t help but smile a bit.

you scoop the coffee grounds into the filter and pour some water in the machine, letting the bubbling of the coffee maker lull you into a daze. you just keep replaying the night you just had over and over. the music, the dancing, the sex. you can’t even remember the last time you and john had sex. you think of john, at his brother’s house, looking out the window at the same morning sky you’re seeing now. you start to feel a bit of guilt creep in when the coffee finishes brewing, and you pour a cup. you sit in the armchair, the same one john sits in, and sip. you force yourself to not think of john, to think of anything, just enjoy the coffee as it warms you up.

your daze is suddenly broken when you hear the sound of liquid pouring. you turn and bruce is making himself a cup. he’s wearing nothing but his underwear as he makes his way toward you. he leans down and you kiss him.

this is what you want to feel, right? an aching, longing feeling, like you miss him even though he’s right beside you. bruce sits in the chair next to you, and the two of you just drink the coffee, no words exchanged.

this is how you want your mornings to be. this is how you want to be.

adored.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

#bruce wayne #battinson #the batman #robert pattinson #fanfic #bruce wayne x reader #first fanfic #pictures from pinterest #part 1 #part 1 of 3 #batman #batman x reader

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chairofchaos · 1 year ago

Text

Letters of Love, Part III

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 9356 (I'm sorry, or you're welcome. Whichever feels right to you)

A/N: A huge thank you to @ninthcircleofprythian for a few of the lines of the letters included in this part between Azriel and Eris. They made my day. Enjoy!

*****

A Note from the Editor for Part III:

In this edition of Letters of Love, we have chosen to omit the transcript describing the first family dinner as is usually included in this part of the original edition of Letters. Instead we have replaced it with an excerpt from Eris Vanserra’s journal.

The only surviving Symphonias which contain interviews by Arbora Vanserra do not include the interview detailing the events of that dinner. While it may have existed, we no longer have the primary source of the transcripts typically included here. The core elements align between the transcript and the journal, and most details are consistent between the two accounts. There is no reason to believe the transcript contains errors, or that it is falsified in any way. However, in favor of the narrative quality of the journal excerpt and the verifiable source, we have moved the transcript section to Appendix A in order to keep the integrity of the original Letters of Love publication and support the preservation of truth as is verifiable by surviving sources.

***

Letters:

Dear Feyre, my most darling High Lady,

Assuming you’ll get a few minutes to yourself while you’re with Elain today: we really must speak about Eris. We abandoned our original plan of having him to dinner because of Windhaven, and obviously that led to where we are now. Perhaps we can have him for dinner to make it up to him, to keep an eye on him, and to ensure that all is as it should be?

Rhys

***

Rhys,

When would you invite him? We are very busy this coming week, and I can’t imagine Azriel would appreciate him coming to family dinner when things with the others (Mor especially) are so strained.

A small gathering would be better. Nesta and Cassian would kill us if they weren’t, if at least for a chance to see Az now that they are back. If we’re inviting them, then we might as well invite Elain and Lucien.

Ever your darling,

Feyre

***

My darling indeed,

Perhaps before the family dinner would be best. And I believe that’s enough guests. Nyx will be very mad if Flora is here and he doesn’t get to see her, so we’ll just have to keep him in the dark until it’s over.

Rhys

***

Rhys,

If Nyx finds out that we intentionally kept him off the guest list when Flora, Elain, Lucien and Azriel are here he will never forgive us.

As for scheduling, I can’t imagine that having family dinner first would be helpful. They would all have to be told either at dinner or beforehand, and wouldn’t you rather have good answers to their questions? I think we should wait until after so we can spare ourselves the meeting the day after family dinner. To that end, we can keep it quiet until after it happens.

Your wife,

Feyre

***

My beautiful High Lady,

Aren’t you clever? Better to have family dinner after. I nearly forgot we moved family diner to Friday. Mor will be in Hewn until Thursday night late, which also does us favors. That leaves most of the week, and Thursday is gloriously free. Is that acceptable?

You aren’t suggesting that we have Nyx with us?

Rhys

***

Rhys,

That’s brilliant, darling.

And I certainly am. Especially if Flora is in attendance. It should keep everyone on their best behavior. It isn’t like we can’t protect him.

Your love,

Feyre

***

Darling,

There is no need to have Nyx there. It will be bad enough having the fox, no matter how fond I am of him and your sister.

Rhys

***

Rhys,

My cruel male. Nyx will come, if only for your comment about Lucien, who (must I remind you) is family.

Feyre

***

Darling,

As you wish. I trust you’ve already told him and now won’t let me go back on my word?

Rhys

***

Rhys,

You do know me so well.

I love you.

Feyre

***

Dearest Azriel,

Were you going to inform me that we were invited to Night for dinner next week?

Eris

***

Eris,

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Love,

Azriel

***

Azriel,

I just received a letter from Feyre inviting me to dinner on Thursday. You had to have known. You didn’t think to give me as much as a hint?

Eris

***

Eris,

No matter how much you might believe Feyre and Rhys consult me on every choice they make, I assure you this is the first I’ve heard of it. We can talk about it when I’m back if you would like.

I promise I would have mentioned it. Truly.

I love you,

Azriel

***

Azriel,

You’re certain they didn’t mention it?

Eris

***

Eris,

The shadows assure me I haven’t. And since they like you so much, I’m certain they would tell me if I had made such a grievous error.

Clearly this upsets you - we can talk about it when I return.

Azriel

***

My dearest,

I’ve survived worse than a dinner. You are available on Thursday, yes?

Eris

***

Eris,

Yes. I’ll be there if you will be. We would go together, of course. I wouldn’t ask you to come alone.

Glad to be ‘your dearest’ once more,

Azriel

***

Always my dearest,

I will inform them we will be in attendance.

Eris

***

Rhys,

In future, I’d appreciate it if you would let me know before inviting Eris to something, at least for now. I didn’t know what he was talking about and it did not settle well with me. Or with him.

Azriel

***

Azriel,

I’ll do my best. My apologies. Though since Feyre sent the invitation, I can’t imagine why you’re writing to me.

Rhys

***

Rhys,

Then perhaps you would be kind enough to pass along the sentiment.

Azriel

***

Azriel,

I suppose I can be. You are coming, aren’t you? I think Feyre would be devastated if you weren’t.

Rhys

***

Rhys, and Feyre,

I think you’ll find an acceptance will be arriving from Eris soon enough. Has anyone ever told you that your habit of sharing letters is annoying?

Azriel

***

Azriel,

We’ve just received an invitation to dinner from Feyre and Rhys. They said you would be there. Does that mean Eris will be as well? I do hope so.

Love,

Elain

***

Elain,

It does. Eris just sent the acceptance. Will I be able to meet Flora then?

Azriel

***

Az,

I had hoped you would be by to meet her before then. You are sure you can’t get away, I assume?

I need to have a word with Feyre about how much she and Rhys push you.

Elain

***

Elain,

Don’t you have enough going on at the moment without fighting for me to have more time off?

I was hoping I could get away, but there’s no chance I’d make it. I’m barely going to make it back to Autumn to pick Eris up for dinner in the first place. Are you bringing Flora with you?

Azriel

***

Azriel,

I have to bring her to dinner, she’s a baby. I asked Feyre, and they’re having Nyx join as well. It seems they are truly going for a family dinner. He is very excited to see his cousin. I will admit I’m a little concerned. He will not be holding her, no matter how much he begs.

Elain

***

Elain,

I don’t blame you in the slightest. He is only eight. And he wields an incredible amount of power (metaphorically and literally) for a child so small. Rhys is wrapped around his little finger.

Azriel

***

Azriel,

Thank you for the confirmation of my suspicions. I doubt Lucien will be disappointed by that decision, since she won’t even be two weeks old.

You and I need to get together soon, or I’ll have to drag Eris from Autumn and try to dig more details from him. I need more details. Of course you could always send me a nice, long letter the way you did last time…

Elain

***

Elain,

You’re an outrageous snoop, you know that?

What do you want to know?

Azriel

***

Azriel,

Something sweet. Your favorite moment from the last two weeks, perhaps?

Elain

***

Elain,

I’ll do my best to sate your curiosity for the next few days. Do me a favor and don’t mention any of my next, or gods forbid, my last letter of this nature, at dinner?

Azriel

***

Azriel,

Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. Indulge me, Az? Give me something to think about other than Lucien’s impending breakdown. Speaking of, do write to your lover and ask him to come check on Lucien. I think Eris thinks I’m being dramatic but I heard Lucien say Beron’s name as he slept last night and it was rather disturbing.

Elain

***

Elain,

I really could have gone without that knowledge, but I’ll send Eris, if I can.

I’m a bit busy to give you all the details right now, but the second I get more than five minutes I will write my favorite moment. Promise. It will be today, even if it is the last thing I do tonight. Is that an acceptable compromise?

Azriel

***

Az,

Windhaven must be keeping you very busy. Yes, that’s fine. And thank you for whatever you said to Eris. His letter just barely beat yours and he says he’s on his way.

Elain

***

Elain,

Anytime. I look forward to holding Flora first at dinner on Thursday.

Azriel

***

Azriel,

Send me that letter you promised me and I’ll do my best to keep her from her godparents.

Elain

***

Dearest,

I’ll be on my way to Day once I’m done packing. Please come meet us tonight. I miss you.

Eris

***

Eris,

You know I would if I could. Things are not good here. I can’t leave. I am sorry about it.

All my love,

Azriel

***

Dearest,

We’ve barely been mated for two weeks and I’ve seen you for only one of them. Try to get away? I’m still here for over an hour if you can only get away for that long.

Eris

***

Eris,

I know. I am working on hiring and training apprentices. The interviews went well, I think. I picked two decent candidates and I’m going to pit them against each other. Regardless, I need to be here to train them and to oversee the changes in Windhaven.

I miss you more than you know.

Azriel

***

Dearest,

One night. One night to hold you. Please. I’ll postpone with Elain until the morning if it’s any easier for you.

Eris

***

Eris,

My love. If I could have you with me, I would have you here in an instant. If I could come, I would. My arms ache for the weight of you.

The only comfort I seem to find in my rooms here is the firelight flickering off the walls. It reminds me of the way your hair gleams in candlelight. I never thought I’d be warmed by fire again the way I am tonight. Instead of being a reminder of pain, they’re a reminder of the crown you suddenly wore on that first night: flames of gold and russet. Flames of you. They are a comfort now, in some odd way.

I miss you, my love.

I will be with you soon,

Azriel

***

My loving firebrand,

I’m tempted to order you back. I don’t suppose you would listen?

I’m purposely ignoring the second paragraph to avoid lighting this wing of the Forest House on fire. Forgive me.

Eris

***

Eris,

I couldn’t leave. Truly. I wish I could. I’ll think of you with every second.

I already have.

All my love,

Azriel

***

My love,

You will be the death of me. I love you. Come as soon as you’re able.

All of me aches for the weight of you.

I have to put out a fire now.

Eris

***

Lucien,

Do you think perhaps Rhys is using Azriel to plan an infiltration of Autumn? The thought had occurred to me. I wouldn’t want to believe it. I don’t. If he is gone like this often, I’m afraid the thought will fester. I’ll be there in half an hour so don’t feel like you need to respond. I just wondered what you thought.

Eris

***

Elain,

For your patience, I offer you three of my favorite moments of our week together.

One was simply watching Eris sleep. He’s a deep sleeper. He is also an insufferable grump when he wakes up. Regardless, watching him sleep peacefully, his lashes against his cheek, the little sighs when he would move, was my favorite. He’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful, when he sleeps. The peace he seems to feel when he sleeps never lasts long after he wakes. His jaw tenses, his brow tightens or even furrows. But when he sleeps without a care, nothing but peace and contentment drifting through our bond, he’s the most beautiful male in the world.

A second was the first flight. He had never flown with any of us before. And I know you aren’t fond of it, really. You will have to take my word for it when I tell you the joy that spiraled down the bond as I took him in my arms and leapt into the sky was unmatched. He clung onto me for a minute but once we were high enough, he was laughter and light, strands of his hair whipping from the braid I’d recommended he put it in and glinting in the evening light.

My true favorite, my favorite out of all of the moments we shared, was when we sat at the table the night after the bond was accepted. I had made us food this time and Eris sat at the table waiting for me. When I turned with his plate in my hand, my shadows were draped about his head like a crown. Amid them rested a crown of pure flame, and the shadows seemed to move in a dance with the flickers and embers of light.

His eyes were flame and shadow. He looked at me, a cocky grin on his face, and said, “They crowned me first.” I sat his plate in front of him, looked him in the eyes, and told him it was because he was the ruler of my heart. The way he looked at me in return was as though I had handed him the world on a platter. I nearly took a page out of Nesta’s book and knelt before him at that table, but he reached out a hand in offer and command. But the command wasn’t for me. It was for my shadows. As if they knew precisely what he wished, more of my shadows whipped from his body to me, whispering everything they could about Eris, asking if they could bring the flame to me, to crown me with it as well. I ignored them until he cocked his head and asked me himself.

How he figured out how to speak to my shadows, I don’t know. I’ll need to. But I told him yes, and as I did, I felt a crown of flame begin to hover over my own head. I could hardly hear anything over the rush of my blood. He made sure it hovered away from me enough that I wouldn’t truly feel it. But it was there. For a moment, it was there, and when I had had enough, I went to tell him. Before I could even say a word, it was gone.

That was my favorite. I have handled flame since my childhood. It would be impossible not to. But to allow someone else to control flame that close to my head, to my wings, was a moment I will not soon forget. He asked. He cared. If I had shown a second’s hesitation I trust he wouldn’t have done it. I won’t forget that, either. And that look on his face…

I would wear a crown of flames every day to see that knowing, claiming gleam in his eyes. It was caring, yes, and thoughtful to leave it only for a few moments. But the claiming, the possessive glint in seeing me cast in the flickering light of a minute scrap of his power made me weak in the knees.

Azriel

***

Brother,

Come read the letter Elain just received from Azriel and tell me what you think then.

Lucien

***

Azriel,

Delicious. Absolutely delicious.

Did you end up taking a page out of Cassian’s book?

Elain

***

El,

You deserve a crown for the most demanding family member.

Yes we did. And I will say no more on that subject.

Azriel

***

Dearest,

Are you in the habit of writing detailed letters of our love to Elain?

The flight was a favorite moment of mine, too.

Eris

***

Eris,

Only since she’s had Flora. She’s quite hard to ignore when she puts her mind to something, as you well know.

We’ll go flying soon, I promise. Perhaps over Velaris?

Say hello to them while you’re there.

You are mine, forever and always,

Azriel

***

As I am yours, so you, my dearest, are mine.

I’m going to hold you to that. They say hello as well.

I’m glad you wrote. I think Elain was right. Lucien needs sleep, badly. I’m drugging him for the night so if you need anything, ask him now.

Eris

***

Eris,

I need nothing from Lucien. I do, however, need something from you.

Your love,

Azriel

***

My infuriatingly lovely mate,

I need something from you as well. Until we are together, let’s keep it at that?

Eris

***

Entry from the Journal of Eris Vanserra:

The mating bond has rendered me entirely incapable of acting with any sense of rational thought, comprehension, or sanity. The things I have thought, the things I have written, and said, and done, these last two weeks are incomprehensible.

I am completely and entirely consumed by want for Azriel. I am a barely contained furnace. Tomorrow. I keep telling myself I only have to make it to dinnertime tomorrow.

I called him a firebrand. He’s the farthest thing from it, unless the thing he’s inciting change in is me.

***

I would beg for this male. I have begged for this male, and I’d do it again.

Then again, he also begged for me. He wrote this morning to tell me the one benefit of working all hours of the day for the last week was that he would be able to leave from Windhaven at noon and that he could be at the Acorn house by 2 with lunch. Dinner wasn’t until 9 (One of the Night Court’s more benign traditions) so a late lunch was smart. I rearranged as much as I could, and thank the gods, moved that abysmal meeting with Lord Fike to the next hour instead of leaving it at the end of the day. He was as awful as usual. It’s a shame his daughter wasn’t around to see him so angry. She’s so much happier now she’s free to do as she wishes. And as for the books she’s writing… Her latest should be an instant hit. Bless Helion for taking her into Day.

Right. Azriel. He beat me home. When I arrived just outside the wards, he was leaning against the porch railing with his arms crossed over his chest. He was so broad, so angular. If I had been Feyre, I would have painted him like that. The shadows of the house cast his face in darkness, but as he stepped down the stairs and into the grass with wings flaring behind him, I found his own shadows racing towards me in the daylight. I think they would enjoy the hounds. I should take Azriel on a trip to the kennel, if only to see what the shadows do.

A week. A whole week since I had last touched him, held him. He wrapped us in the shade of his wings and kissed me, and I could feel my breathing, my heartbeats, my whole body shift to be in alignment with him. The talon of his wing scraped across the backs of my thighs, my only warning before he picked me up and jumped. I couldn’t help but shout. I wasn’t prepared. His laugh was so joyful and free as I grabbed him that I can’t even be mad.

Last time we flew, I had my back pressed to his chest, able to see the earth below. But this time, I saw my world. Azriel’s wings beat steadily against the air, their tips kissing the gray winter sky. His shadows were dancing along the length of his body, kissing the air and encircling us with lazy swirls of smoky black. I stared at him. His lips, held with the faintest hint of a smile. His ink black hair, brushing the rounded tops of his ears.

I trust he wouldn’t drop me. I pulled an arm from my grip around his neck and brushed a finger against the pink of his cheek. He wouldn’t make eye contact, but his eyes lit up and narrowed enough I knew he was paying attention, so I did it again, then dared to lick a stripe up the column of his neck and up his jaw. I didn’t plan on doing anything else, but the taste of him under my tongue and the scent of his arousal which followed my action led to me moaning straight into his ear.

We dove suddenly and with such ferocity I yelped, clutching at his collar as he gripped me tight to him until we had leveled out, circling the roof of the house in a steep bank. He growled loving warnings about doing that to him while he was flying with me in his arms in my ear until we landed. I hauled him against me, dragging him backwards toward the house. I think if he hadn’t kept us stable with his wings we would have fallen over into the grass, because when he tucked his wings in and stooped to get them under the doorway we toppled in, him on top of me.

One of us kicked the door shut. Our clothes had quickly been flung to the corners of the room. I summoned some oil and slowly pressed into him while I knelt between the calves of his spread legs. His wings flared in my face, silently begging me to stroke them, to claim him one more way as my own. I didn’t. He had had me his way enough that last week we had been together. I thought - literally and with some amount of feral need for him - perhaps it was my turn to make him beg. When I told him to use his words, he whined - truly whined, hand reaching back to grasp for mine. I held his hand and pressed it to the base of his spine as I thrust into him deeper and deeper.

He tries to be quiet. I think he tries very hard to make no sound at all. It filled me with pride when, not three minutes after the front door was kicked shut, he was near gasping for breath, pleading with me to touch him, to let him touch himself. I snarled at him, and all his pleas switched to praise. Praise for me. I’ve never felt this possessive over anyone. I knew I did, I knew I would, for this male who is my mate. But it had been a week without him. A miserable week. Need was hurtling down the bond from both directions, paired with love, longing, desperation, and pure, unbridled lust.

I couldn’t help but think about how his scent on our pillows had faded to nearly nothing. How lonely the nights had been without him there to counterbalance the heat of my own sleep. How empty my mornings had felt without him waking me up with kisses. How desperate I was for him to be with me in more than his words, more than his letters. How much I needed him with me in Autumn to discuss the annoyances of those meetings with the lords. I needed him. And he needed to know that. He needed to know that a week without him was far too long. So I stopped being gentle, and I left his hand where it was on his back, patting it in a silent order. I grabbed his hips, and I took him.

I’m not saying it was the most rational thing I’ve ever done. I’m sure a more calculated approach would have been better. Being in a bed at all probably would have been an improvement for him. And damn if my knees don’t sting from the kneeling. I really need to get the floors refinished.

But watching his free hand scramble for purchase against the floor until his arm gave out and he collapsed until his head was turned, cheek and chest pressed into the floor, watching his wings flare, the muscles of his back contracting as pleas switched to praise, fading to moans and my name choked from his throat in gasps… It was better than I dreamed. Somehow better even than I remembered. He was so lovely. I came, then hauled him up against my chest and stroked his cock and wings until he was spent on our thighs and hands.

We cleaned each other up, gently and softly. Azriel insisted we eat something, so we did, completely naked at the table while laughing over Fike’s insane ideas of what a reasonable tax plan looked like (I really need to replace him) and then we went to bed and for four hours drifted between sleep, staring, and sex. He kept lifting parts of my hair into the afternoon light filtering through the bedroom windows and staring at it. He seems pleased with himself every time he does it. I asked him again why, but his only answer was to drag me to him for a deep kiss then say he would ‘tell me one day’.

One day had better come soon. Winter Solstice is next week. I’ve spent all week trying to figure out what to get him, but I can’t seem to think of what he might need. He seems the type of male to appreciate something he would need rather than something extraneous, but perhaps I’ll just chop off a piece of my hair and tie it with a bow for him. Maybe then he’d tell me what he likes about it so much.

***

Transcript from Interview:

Arbora: In those first months of your mating, you were both undergoing various problems in the courts you called home. What were you both facing in your work?

Azriel: My primary concern was the situation unfolding in Windhaven.

Arbora: What was the situation?

Azriel: One of the Lords of Illyria, Lord Devlon, was found murdered in Windhaven, his war camp. It was a difficult time. There had been uprisings since the Illyrians had learned of Velaris, and it did not help that Rhys was prioritizing more time with family. I don’t fault him for it, but his lack of presence in the camps, despite Cassian’s and my oversight, made it very difficult to keep a handle on any positive changes.

Arbora: What positive changes had been made?

Azriel: We had three entirely female Illyrian fighting units, overseen by Emerie and Nesta. Four more female units trained in Windhaven as Valkyries, largely by Nesta and Gwyn, and their captains. Nesta and Cassian tried to keep a handle on it all, but with Nesta trying to help set up for more Valkyrie trainees in other villages, she wasn’t around, and Cassian was swamped trying to keep a hold on the soldiers who would still listen to his command.

It was a tough situation, and I was spread thin. I still hadn’t replaced enough of my spies lost in the war with Koschei. The females had been some of my best, but now I was losing recruits right and left to Nesta and the Valkyries. I don’t fault them, but it did create an additional challenge.

Eris: In Autumn our problems were more economic. A slow crawl toward overhaul had been in progress for years. We had finally reached one of the biggest changes that needed to be made. I had been overwhelmed by it for six years. The tax plan established in the early years of Amarantha’s oppression needed to be entirely rewritten. Monopolies had formed. In the more remote areas, some fae had resorted to indentured servitude and serfdom. Without changing the financial laws in very large ways, it would be near impossible to return to the relative freedom that had existed some sixty years before.

Arbora: Would you say these obligations presented the largest stress on your mating bond in those early days?

Azriel: Absolutely.

Eris: Really? I’d say not.

Azriel: Well, mine was tied in with the other thing.

Eris: That’s an understatement. I think your ‘things’ are one and the same.

Arbora: So if not the professional obligations, what was the issue?

Azriel: Family.

Arbora: Family. Was it how your families react to the mating bond?

Azriel: Yes

Arbora: How did they react?

Azriel: Hurtfully, they responded differently to our faces than they did behind closed doors.

Eris: Not entirely.

Azriel: No, not entirely.

Eris: Lucien and Elain were delighted.

Azriel: More than. But some – many – of them weren’t.

Arbora: When did you realize that they weren’t being honest with you about their feelings?

Azriel: It took until someone pointed out to us the differences with which they accommodated Cassian and Nesta’s mating bond and our own mating bond for me to realize.

Eris: I knew I wasn’t happy about it. I didn’t think the hurt still ran that deep. It was hurtful, to be sure.

Azriel: I almost didn’t forgive your uncle Rhys.

Arbora: What effect did that have on you individually?

Azriel: The… almost not forgiving?

Arbora: Sorry, no. What effect did the realization they weren’t being fully honest with you have on you individually?

Azriel: Well, it almost cost me my brothers, my home court, everything. I would say I was upset by it all.

Eris: I don’t want to put words in your mouth but I’d say you were more a combination of fury and heartbreak.

Azriel: That may be a fair description. Perhaps even understated.

Arbora: And you, Father?

Eris: I was heartbroken as well, though not the same way. Lucien and Elain were more than supportive. Mother knew very little, but she withheld any judgment at all for quite some time. Aside from them, there were very few people whose opinions I truly cared for. I was more heartbroken for Azriel, for what he could lose. It also wasn’t presented in the kindest way, though given the situation that wasn’t necessarily surprising. Frankly I was shocked by it all.

Azriel: You were also angry. I seem to remember you threatening to winnow to Night and burn down the river house.

Eris: Yes, well, I did threaten that, I suppose.

Azriel: I remember it well. You did threaten it.

Eris: I didn’t say I didn’t.

Azriel [teasing]: No, you didn’t. You just omitted it instead.

Eris: Azriel…

Azriel: What, you think our daughter doesn’t know you have a bit of a temper at times?

Eris [defensively]: I was defending you!

Azriel: Yes, you were. And to date, it’s one of the most genuine expressions of love you’ve ever shown me.

Eris: Remind me to remind you of that next time I get upset with you.

Azriel: And help you win an argument? Absolutely not.

Eris: I usually win anyways.

Azriel: Do you? I tend to think we both win, at least at the end.

Arbora: I am still here. And recording.

Eris & Azriel, together: We know.

Arbora [wearily]: Can we return to the questions? [pause] [resumes normally] Thank you. What about as a couple? That realization, primarily from Azriel’s side of the family, can’t have been easy on you. How did you handle it?

Azriel: As a couple, I think we handled it better than we would have individually. I was a bit shocked by how angry Eris was.

Eris: I was taken aback by how calm Azriel seemed to be about it. It spoke to a pattern of negligence on Rhys and Feyre’s part for caring, and that only incensed me more.

Azriel: I didn’t realize how badly I felt about it all until much, much later. It’s still something I wrestle with on occasion. At some point, my brothers had decided to step back and focus on their families, their lives. I hadn’t. I hadn’t even realized. So I pulled more weight than I should have. But we’ve moved past it now, though it comes up on occasion. Mostly when they apologize again.

Eris: Do they still apologize?

Azriel: Yes. And never within your earshot, because every time you’re reminded of it you light up like an ember and steam comes out of your ears.

Eris: It was wrong of them!

Azriel: Yes. It was. [quietly] And I know it. But it’s been centuries, love. [normally] I’m not quite sure he’s over it.

Eris [indignant]: I’m not sure I ever will be.

Arbora: Who in your lives was true in their support?

Eris: There were some shockingly supportive people.

Azriel: Oh, some true friendships were made, to be sure.

Eris: I’ll never forget telling-

Azriel: Let’s save that one for last. I think she’d be surprised to know which of them was most excited to hear.

Arbora: Which of… who?

Eris: Which of your grandparents.

Arbora: I thought you let Nonna and Grandmother know when you were first mated?

Azriel: No.

Eris: Nonna may have been able to keep her mouth shut. In fact, she likely would have, since she probably wouldn’t have liked the idea of it all. Grandmother, though…

Azriel: Your grandmother was not a fan of me at the time.

Eris: To be fair, I doubt Nonna was a big fan of me then either.

Azriel: She seemed more indifferent than angry. Your mother’s letter came back with a slightly singed edge.

Eris: [laughs lightly] Anyway, we had planned to let them know after the dinner with your aunts and uncles. It would allow us to focus on one thing at a time.

Arbora: How did you tell them?

Azriel: Letters.

[End Transcript]

***

Entry from the Journal of Eris Vanserra:

Dinner is over. I’m so thankful to be home. I had a good time, and Azriel seemed to once the awkwardness of having us surrounded by our family for the first time subsided. At least until the end… Still…

Azriel shadow-walked us, bringing us to the snowy lawn (How do I always forget how cold snow is) between the river and the front porch of Feyre and Rhys’ massive river house.

We were first to arrive. Rhys and Nyx were waiting on the front porch, facing the gray water. Nyx immediately sprinted, half flying to greet Azriel, who only let go of my hand a split second before scooping up his nephew and lifting him over his head with ease. Nyx shrieked as he went flying, heels over his head and wings flapping in an effort not to topple onto Azriel. As if Azriel would ever drop him. He just held his nephew there, grinning up at him and pretending to drop him a couple of times before setting the boy back on his feet in front of him.

Nyx turned to me, curious. I had met him before, but not since he was an infant. He looked like Rhys, but with Feyre’s eyes. I could almost feel him looking me head to toe before he extended a hand and offered me his name. I couldn’t help the laugh that came from me. Gods help me. He looked offended, and Azriel jumped in to say we had already met when he was about two. I think that saved me the ire of the little lord of Night. Regardless, he seemed to find me interesting. I caught him peering at me throughout most of the night.

We walked up to the house, Nyx gripping Azriel’s right hand while I cut off all blood supply to his left. I wish I could say I hadn’t been nervous. I could tell Azriel was, too, despite how stoic he looked as he approached Rhys. But it was very different facing the High Lord of Night while he held such control over my mate, despite all his support. Rhys invited us in, handing Az a drink identical to his own before offering me a selection. I don’t even remember what I chose, just that it was strong.

We watched as Elain and Lucien arrived not long after that in Feyre’s arms, Flora nestled against Elain’s chest in a sling. Nyx repeated his running flight to greet them, practically yelling in indignation when Feyre informed him that no, he could not hold his cousin right now, and wouldn’t if he couldn’t behave himself. He never did get to.

Lucien looked terrible. He looked better than he had a few days ago, but terrible. Circles under his eyes, a frown nearly etched between his brows. I just hoped he would be able to survive the night in one piece. Maybe it’s his shorter haircut.

To her credit, Elain looked perfectly ethereal. I wouldn’t have guessed she had given birth just two weeks before. It was a miracle she was standing that tall and that calm.

Cassian and Nesta walked in from upstairs, having landed on the roof and walked down. Nesta embraced Elain, the sisters sequestering themselves in a corner with hushed voices as they cooed over the baby. Lucien came to stand with me and we watched quietly as Nyx jumped at Cassian this time. The general greeted him much the same as Azriel had, instead he simply dangled him by his ankles and swung him back and forth for a solid two minutes before releasing the laughing boy.

“I’m having nightmares about Elain dying,” Lucien said quietly to me. Azriel glanced at us, quirking an eyebrow at the message from the shadow that had zipped from Lucien’s side. I shook my head slightly and offered a reassuring smile before turning to Luc.

“Are they more than nightmares?”

“I don’t think so. She’s the seer, not me.”

“Is there any reason to worry? She looks well. And Flora seems the picture of health.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I hope they are nightmares. And just that. Nightmares disappear.”

I told him I understood, though I can’t say that I did.

Feyre got our attention, explaining how Nesta had brought her symphonia, which Cassian loudly reminded us was his present to her (thank the cauldron for those withering glares of hers. And the fact that they were, at least for tonight, not directed at me) before they turned on some music. It was very nice, actually. Though no one danced.

Azriel finally got to meet Flora. He passed his drink off to me with a light kiss to my temple, slipping over to greet Elain and meet his niece. Elain smiled up at him, and passed the sleeping baby into his hands while they murmured at each other.

I hadn’t given much thought to us having children, either. It doesn’t seem to follow reason that we would be able to have children. And yet, seeing the tiny baby cradled in his arms, watching him adjust her delicate pink hat and tuck her hand back into her swaddle when it came loose in the transfer from Elain to him, I was struck by the delicacy of the situation. It was sweet. The mask that had slid over him the second we arrived slipped as he held Flora.

He melted with her in his arms, and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them together. What a sight they made.

The darkness of him in his dark leather pants and deep navy shirt, contrasted with the tiny pink bundle in his arms. He stared down at her tiny frame and the cheeks I know were rosy pink from the cold air of near-winter, a finger occasionally dragged across her forehead or stroked against her cheek. The shadows hovered around his shoulders as if they were peering down at her, too. When she started and gave a little cry, they spun slow circles a few inches above her face, calming her before Elain even raised her hands to steal her away from him.

While I was distracted, Rhys and Cassian had joined us. We began talking about how fond Flora seemed of him and how sweet a baby she was.

Lucien hardly seemed capable of joining us in conversation, he was so fixated on his daughter and wife. Cassian threw me a wink after looking at him, though he seemed to second guess himself the second he did it. I smiled in return. Not a big smile. I didn’t want him to think I thought we were any better friends than we had been three weeks before. It was a nice gesture, but the general and I had too much history to be that friendly with one another.

We filtered in to dinner, Rhys at the head of the table with Nyx to his right and Azriel to his left. Next to Nyx was Cassian, which worked in Rhys’ favor, since Cassian seemed more than happy to jump up and down whenever the boy decided to jump from his seat with a disobedience lesser parents would have exploded at. For an eight year old, he has a surprising lack of ability to sit and eat. Maybe Lucien was just a quieter child.

Lucien was between Cassian and his wife, who had reclaimed her daughter from Azriel once dinner began. Feyre sat at the other end of the table. To Feyre’s right was Nesta, then me, then Azriel, bringing our party of eight to a close. The sisters at one end, the brothers at the other, and Lucien and I in the middle.

Elain kept me blessedly occupied talking about Flora and all the things she had done while bedridden in the last part of her pregnancy for the first bit of the meal while Azriel talked quietly with Rhys and Cassian.

Somewhere around nine thirty, Nesta turned to me and offered Azriel and I a look at the symphonia. Elain suggested that maybe Lucien could get a look as well, and so the three of us dutifully passed the silenced orb between us gently. Lucien seemed especially fascinated, his mechanical eye whirring and hands glowing dimly as he examined it, turning it over and over in his hands until Nesta chuckled and said conspiratorially to her sister that perhaps Cassian should have given it to Lucien as a gift to study first. Lucien smiled– a real smile– and asked if she would be willing to let him study it, truly. She seemed surprised, but gave her permission if he wrote first to ask to borrow it as needed. Elain looked particularly pleased, which seemed to brighten Lucien in turn.

Cassian was observing Nesta quizzically, but noticed me observing him and quickly cut whatever thought was in his head off to turn to Azriel and start asking him about Windhaven.

Eventually, Rhys took over the conversation, turning his attention to Azriel and I. I don’t know which of us reached for each other first, but before Rhys had even opened his mouth, our fingers were entwined, our hands resting firmly on the table. At that, the room, even Nyx, fell silent.

Rhys looked about, then blinked. Two wraiths appeared at his side, and without a word spoken, one of them extended a hand for Nyx. Nyx frowned at his father, then his mother, then at his plate as the three of them held one of those internal conversations. The rest of us sat silently as they battled, but whatever argument he had given against going to bed was quickly lost, and he jumped from his chair. He said goodnight to everyone at the table, giving hugs to all but Flora, who got a kiss over her hat, and me. I instead earned a firm handshake and a simple ‘goodnight’. It was a better response than I expected. As he filtered off to bed, Rhys turned to me and asked how I was enjoying the wine.

I chuckled. I couldn’t help it- I shouldn’t have, but I couldn't help it. Cassian’s eyes narrowed, Nesta tensed at my side. Even Elain looked a little wary. Azriel simply gripped my hand with a tension in his body that told me he would jump between Rhys and I if at all needed. Who he’d be defending, I didn’t want to consider.

I responded to Rhys and told him I knew he had better questions than that after the two weeks we had all had, but the wine was delicious. It seemed it was the right answer, as after a beat, Cassian, Rhys, Feyre, Elain, and Nesta were laughing. Azriel blinked. Lucien looked as if he had barely avoided a scrape with death. I wish I knew why he was doing so poorly.

Some tension seemed to break again. No matter how much it broke, though, I felt as if it solidified again minutes later, a slow freeze that didn’t want to relinquish its hold.

We spoke of courts, the publicly available knowledge and politics. We talked of the theories Rhys, Nesta, Azriel and I had been studying from Merrill’s Theory of the Universes, which everyone else seemed entirely bored by.

At the end of the night, the women went to filter back into the living room as Elain wanted to feed Flora in a quieter, darker place and yet begged us all to stay and chat. Her sisters refused to leave her alone, but the rest of us didn’t dare follow, not even Lucien.

Before she left, Nesta grinned wickedly and leaned into my ear, quietly sharing a few details of the book they wanted to discuss. I think I surprised her by offering to hear her thoughts on it whenever she wished. Cassian, who had taken Elain’s vacated seat, asked me how I knew the book, and I simply smiled at him and told him I had been one of the first readers, as I considered Ms. Drake a personal friend.

Nesta gawked as Feyre tried to drag her away, and then she wrenched away and all but begged me to introduce her. Azriel had to promise he would try to convince me before she would leave us alone. Rhys even took a second to remind her that she swore to all of us not to tell the Valkyries about the mating bond.

I jumped in to tell her the second the Valkyries knew about the mating bond she could tell them I know Sellyn. Once they were gone, Azriel stood to get a bottle of whiskey and five glasses, filling them all with a dram and letting shadows distribute them to each of the five of us.

It was then that things got messy. Cassian bumped shoulders with Lucien and asked him if he thought Azriel and I had gotten enough of each other. Rhys said nothing, but Azriel bristled and told him to mind his business. Lucien ignored Cassian, so Cassian turned to me instead. He asked me if Azriel had been good enough in bed. Actually, he said ‘A good enough lay’. Prick.

Lucien went to sip his drink. Azriel beside me was digging his fingers into my thigh. Cauldron knows what Rhys was thinking- maybe he was egging Cassian on silently.

It seems like tonight was a night for bad decisions. Maybe I had just had too much to drink. Maybe I had lost all sense of reason. Regardless, somehow I thought the best defense I had was the dead truth. I told Cassian flat out that Azriel’s cock was the best I’d ever had, and that fucking him was like holding a god in my arms.

The second the words fell from my mouth, I regretted them. Not because they weren’t true. I knew they were true. Azriel could feel the truth of them down the bond. Pride and panic rose to meet my words in equal measure.

I regretted them because Lucien coughed, nearly sending his drink flying across the table into my face. Because Rhys, who had been trying to subtly tip his chair back on two legs (in hindsight maybe it isn’t surprising Nyx is such an active child) slammed the front two legs of his chair into the ground. And because Azriel’s hand went slack on my thigh and his jaw dropped a fraction before he immediately turned to Rhys and said it was time for us to get home.

So maybe I don’t regret it. I did get to hold Flora for a minute while we said our goodbyes as Azriel tried his best to rush us out the door. He’s been flying for the last… however many minutes since we got home. I am definitely drunk, though that could be the two drinks I slammed the second we got to the Acorn.

I don’t know if he’s upset, or happy, or both. He just dropped me off here with a gentle kiss and took to the night sky. Kiss, good. Leaving without a word, possibly bad. Likely bad.

I think we need to have everyone here. I’d like to do that again on our terms. Introduce everyone. Maybe have more people as buffers? Thoughts for tomorrow.

Let’s have a party.

***

Letters:

You are invited to a country gathering in the Autumn Court, in February of the new year. Final dates to follow.

Sincerely yours,

Eris Vanserra

***

Dear Eris,

It’s three o’clock in the morning. Why am I receiving invitations to your home at three o’clock in the morning? I’m awake because of Flora, but you should most definitely be asleep. And your paper smells like whiskey. I’m going to assume you kept drinking. I know for a fact you spilled half a bottle on this parchment an hour ago and used your powers to dry it. Good luck with the aftermath of that. You do know alcohol is flammable?

Elain

***

Dear Eris,

Thank you for your invitation. Viviane and I will inform you as to our presence when you have finalized the dates, as some court holidays and ceremonies that month may prevent our attendance.

Yours truly,

Kallias

***

Dear Eris,

Cassian and I will plan on being there. Any chance you will be inviting Ms. Drake?

Nesta Archeron

***

Eris,

Is there a reason for this gathering? It is good to hear from you. And do tell me you’ve invited your brother and sister-in-law and my granddaughter.

Fondly,

Mother

***

Eris,

I’d be honored. Who all is attending? I’m assuming your brother will know, but would it be possible to hear it from you as well?

Helion

***

Eris,

I’m assuming you’re still asleep. If you’re not, though, do me a favor and get back here. Or if you’re too hungover (you were incredibly drunk last night), just write. It’s Helion.

Elain says hello.

Lucien

***

Eris,

I will not be able to attend.

Best wishes,

Tamlin

***

Eris,

I’m sure Nesta has already written, but we would be honored to attend. Thank you for gracing us with your incredibly entertaining presence last night. Az beat me senseless this morning for the “invasive questions” and “being an asshole”. I’m sorry about that. I’d blame it on the drink, but I only had three, so I really can’t.

Anyways, we’ll see you soon.

Cassian

P.S. Glad to see you can be a blunt ass too. Welcome to the family.

***

Eris,

I’m afraid I’m too busy in February to even promise to try. It’s shaping up to be a surprisingly busy month. I hope you are well. Given the smell of the paper I received your invitation on, I took the liberty of including a few tonics which address hangover symptoms. They’re all the same, so no need to be picky.

If there’s any problems, do let me know.

Best,

Thesan

***

Lucien,

What the hell did I do last night?

Eris

***

Brother,

I believe you invited most of the lords and ladies of Prythian to a “country gathering in the Autumn Court”. I’m assuming you were still drunk when you wrote them, so I’ve attached the copy I received. Your handwriting is impeccable even when you’re drunk. It’s infuriating.

Regardless, the more important piece is Helion. He summoned me this morning. I was taken aback (because he never summons me- we always have breakfast together, and I was already on my way).

He went on a little rant about how February was too far away, and yes, it was winter, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have fun. As I write, he’s drafting invitations (Gilded. Truly.) to a Winter Solstice gathering. Anyone wishing to come the night before Solstice is welcome to join the party here, and it will be a week. An entire week.

But that isn’t what really matters. Because, dear brother, I was not summoned to breakfast.

I was summoned to an interrogation.

Helion wished to know if I thought Mother would come, should he invite her. I informed him that I didn’t know, that we hadn’t been close in some time, but that she hadn’t met Flora yet, so perhaps she might, if only to meet her granddaughter. He seemed put off, and asked if you might know. I told him I would write to ask, but only if he could explain.

Obviously they are mates, and rejected ones, at that. But Eris…

I’ve never seen him quite like this. He got defensive at first. One of his attendants stepped in, offered him a drink, and he snapped at her- truly snapped. She was young, not new, but definitely young, and immediately started crying. He apologized, did very standard kind things and promised to make it up to her later.

I think that snapped him out of it, because when his attention returned to me, he seemed resolved in whatever decision he had come to. He ordered me to follow him. I didn’t dare disobey, so I did, walking past a very wide-eyed wife and child on my way out the door. Even Elain was surprised. That should say something.

He walked me down to his wing of the palace, and revealed an entire wing I hadn’t known existed. I got his permission to tell you all of this simply for honesty’s sake. I didn’t think you’d believe me otherwise.

An entire suite of rooms, decorated in blue and cream, a hint of a dusty green in a few places. It was a woman’s rooms, to be sure.

He said nothing until I had looked around everywhere, and turned back to him.

“They’re for your mother,” he said softly, looking everywhere but at me. “I’ve kept them this way for centuries, updating things as needed. They are hers, whenever she wishes to claim them. Whether it’s tomorrow or the day before I die, these rooms… they are hers.”

I knew the building was bigger than it seemed on the inside. And that is because, dear brother, my father has reserved half of his entire palace for Mother’s use. Has preserved them for her, in colors not entirely unlike what she’s worn since Father died, as far as I can tell. Has all but written her name across half of his seat of power.

Eris, whatever you do, try to convince Mother to come. Frankly, I’m a bit scared for what happens to Helion if she doesn’t.

I looked around a bit more. There’s clothes, shoes, the softest linens money can buy.

He gave her an entire library. The books are current, too- there’s a shelf for new releases, and it gets updated frequently enough that your friend’s book was right there. I barely survived two years without my mate’s hand. I can’t imagine going centuries.

Please, Eris. Try. For him. For her. I don’t know what’s possible at this point, but try.

Your ever grateful brother,

Lucien

.................

A/N: Well well well... Did you see that coming? Lucien certainly didn't.

Let me know if you see errors, big or small! This was a big chunk and frankly I'm sure I did the worst job editing. Let's not even talk about the fact that I wrote most of this today. I may end up rewriting this section entirely. We'll see.

Next section probably won't be out for 2 weeks! I keep telling myself I'm going to shorten these by a few thousand words, but they just keep getting longer...

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#letters of love by chaos #letters of love universe #fictionalchaos #my work #my fics #thank you all so much for your patience!!!

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