#heres alex being the epitome of alex

[newluvrs]

Soobin ₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ mdni!! currently listening to: ILY2M - ALEX SLOANE word count: 0.9k

Everything is so desperate as you pathetically push your hips into Soobin’s.  Both of your clothes are still on, but the friction of his clothed cock against your pussy is enough to make your head spin.  The way you grind onto him, it’s like you’re possessed by the sole thought of getting off.  Soobin’s always liked how selfish you get when it comes to your pleasure.  It turns him on to know that he has the power to reduce you to something so feral, it gives him a power trip.  Sometimes he thinks about pushing you off, just to see what you’d do.  

For now his mouth is on yours, with his hands up your baggy shirt playing with your tits.  He alternates between pushing them together and rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, lightly tugging on them here and there just to hear the whimpers you make against his mouth.  Something about doing something so filthy with clothes on makes you feel even dirtier. 

Abruptly, he breaks the kiss to pull your shirt over your head, without the additional fabric he can see the way your body contorts with every roll of your hips.  He sees how your boxer briefs are soaked from your wetness, so much so that its now starting to soak into his.  Fueled by the sight he leans forward to drip spit onto your chest, smearing it with his hands back over your nipples.  

With the new sensation you gasp, desperation over taking you as you lean back on your hands, pushing your chest closer to his hands while simultaneously finding a deeper angle to hump onto him.  He can tell you found just the right amount of friction with the way you cry out and start moving at a faster pace than before. 

“Want me to help you baby?”

At the sound of his voice you open your eyes that you had previously closed in concentration.  His hair is messy over his eyes, a cocky and amused smirk resting on his lips.  Had you been in a different mood you would make him cry, but that’s for another time.  Right now all you can do is nod your head, whining out into the air.  

He laughs at this but doesn’t torment you for too long.  Rather he plants his feet against the mattress, his hands taking a firm grip over your hips before he starts to pull your body against his at the same time he grinds up.  And the angle is so fucking delicious, you can practically feel the outline of his cock against your cunt.  

“you look so cute like this sweetheart, just so desperate to cum.”  

He tries to sound dominant with his words, but you can hear how each sentence ends in a whine.  Your cheeks still heat up at his comment, your heart swelling at the compliment. 

“Just surrender to the feeling.  Use me to cum baby, you don’t have to be embarrassed.”

It’s just like him to be so affectionate and endearing even in a moment like this.  You listen to him, closing your eyes and rolling your hips into his as he grinds up.  You let yourself be taken over by your want, leaning further back on your hands to find the deepest angle.  Once you find it your hips don’t let up, whining with your head tossed back, letting out gentle cries of his name.  You pull one of his hands off your waist to spit into his palm before bringing it to your chest and pushing it onto your tits.  Soobin thinks you’re the hottest like this when you take exactly what it is that you want.  When you use him like his sole purpose is to get you off.  And who can resist a pretty girl panting on their lap, looking the epitome of fucked out and needy.  When your hips start to stutter Soobin forces himself to keep his eyes on you.  The curve of your body, the way you throw your head back, the way you always try and curl in on yourself when you cum with the pleasure being too much.  When your pace comes to a halt you collapse against his chest, your underwear all sticky and stuck to your sensitive cunt.  He flips the both of you over so hes on top, littering kisses on your face as his hips start to move.  

“So cute baby, so cute when you cum. My good girl.” 

As he buries his face in your neck you run your hands through his hair, pulling on it every now and then to hear his whines.  As his movements get sloppier you can tell he’s getting drunk from the pleasure, slurring out your name as he paws at your breasts.  

“So good for me Bin, letting me use you, making me feel so good.”  

He shivers at the praise, starting to feel overwhelmed by everything taking over his senses.  

“Why don’t you cum for me?  Want it so bad, just want you to feel good.  Make a mess of me.”  

He chokes at your last sentence, sinking his teeth into your neck as he rolls his hips into yours as deep as he can as he releases, like he’s trying to fuck you through the layer of clothing.  When he stills he collapses on top of you, panting as he comes down.  

“”m all sticky.”  He huffs out as your stroke his hair away from his face so you can see his flushed cheeks.

“My poor baby.”  

He rolls his eyes at this, but deep down you know he secretly likes being babied in this way.  It’s evident in the way you’re the one still holding him as you play with his hair.  

“Your ‘poor baby’ just made you cum in your shorts as you drooled on yourself.”

“Fuck you.” 

[mindmelter]

Five Alien Hosts: Adventures In Italy (Part 3) - Hunks and Lies

Victor and Alexander (Sylo's host) were strolling together, visiting tourist attractions in Italy. They were having a lot of fun together, Italy was a very romantic place and Victor had on his side a hot hunk as his companion and protector, he couldn't ask for anything else. While Victor and Alexander were laughing at one of his jokes. Alexander's phone started ringing.

"Just one sec." Alexander said, picking up his phone. "Hello?... Oh, Ciao Marco, yeah I'm doing good..."

Victor rolled his eyes, he loved Sylo's host, but Alexander was always too busy with work. His phone would never stop ringing, he would answer calls even while fucking Victor. Victor did enjoy being fucked rough by Alexander while he talked business in a foreign language, but sometimes Victor just wanted Alexander to himself.

As Alexander talked to this man named 'Marco', he looked at his watch.

"Right now?... Ok, I will be there... Sure, We can discuss that when we meet." Alexander turned off the call.

"Who is Marco?" Victor asked.

"Marco is Alexander's business partner. Alexander has a car export company here in Italy and Marco helps run the company while he's away. He wants to meet me at a nearby bar for a quick meeting."

"C'mon Sylo, I told you already, no work during vacation. This day should be about us having fun together," Victor said, hugging Alexander's huge arm.

"Don't worry, Master. It will be a quick meeting. He just wants to discuss some business deals. That's the sole reason why Alexander was on that plane to begin with; he was going to meet with Marco. It would be very suspicious for Alexander not to go."

Victor sighed, Sylo was right. "Fiiiiine."

"Don't be like that," Alexander said, gently holding Victor's chin and kissing him softly. "I will make it up to you later, I promise."

They both walked to the bar where Marco had said they would meet. Once there, Victor was amazed by how handsome Marco was. Marco was the epitome of an Italian hunk. He was wearing a white dress shirt that showed some of his chest. When he saw Alexander, he had the most perfect smile on his face.

"Ciao Alex! Quanto Tempo!" Marco said.

"Ciao Marco!"

They both hugged each other and started talking in Italian, while Victor was left awkwardly staring. Marco looked at Victor, a little confused as to who he was. Sylo noticed it.

"This is my nephew, Victor." Alexander said, placing a hand on Victor's shoulder.

"Nice to meet you, Victor," Marco said, extending his hand. Victor blushed and shook it, while shaking, he couldn't help but glance at Marco's open chest.

Marco then turned to Alexander "So, let's have a drink. We have so much to discuss." They took a seat at a table in the outdoor seating area. A waiter soon walked to their table.

"I will have a coffee," Marco said to the waiter.

"A martini for me and a hot chocolate for my friend over here," Alexander said. When the waiter walked away, Alexander teased Marco. "A coffee, serious? What happened to the old Marco I knew?"

"I don't drink anymore, man. I'm a dad now, did you forget my wife just had a baby?"

Alexander laughed. "And how's everything at the company?"

"Well, you know how it is in this industry, always something new popping up. But I have to say, I'm pretty excited about our latest partnership with that luxury car manufacturer from Germany."

"Ah, yes, I heard about that! That's a big move. How did you manage to pull that off?"

"It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. Lots of negotiations, late-night calls, and convincing. But in the end, it all came down to our reputation and track record."

"Impressive, Marco. I gotta hand it to you; you've always had a knack for sealing those big deals."

As they continued talking about their business. Victor couldn't help but give Marco some glances. But it looks like Marco noticed it because he immediately started to button up his shirt in the middle of the conversation and gave Victor a stern look that made him want to crawl under the table.

Victor had spent so much time with only his alien friends and their brainless hosts that he didn't know how to behave around a non-host person. He was accustomed to staring at his friends' hosts whenever he wanted, so now it was difficult for Victor to control his urges.

"So, where are you two staying at?" Marco asked, breaking the ice.

"At the La Dolce Vita Resort." Victor responded.

"Wow, expensive place. But It's not like money is a problem for your uncle, right?" Marco joked.

Victor was confused for a few seconds, his uncle? But then he remembered he was talking about Alexander. Victor grinned, if Marco only knew he and Alexander weren't related at all, and that his business partner was now just a muscle husk being controlled by an alien bug. One hour later, Marco had to go, he said he had another important meeting to attend.

On the way back to the resort, Victor looked at Alexander, who was driving.

"Why didn't you tell me Marco was this hot?"

"You like him, huh? Do you want me to take him over, Master? I would gladly turn him into a host. The guy's an asshole and the old Alexander also hated the guy. They always had this dispute between them, about who slept with the hottest woman, who had the best car, who closed more deals..."

"It would be very hot... but no, that won't be necessary. Remember, we are on vacation. That means you are free from having to turn into a host every hot man I fancy over."

Later that day, Victor and Alexander returned to their room, and to Victor's surprise, Marco was lying on the bed, reading a newspaper, as if waiting for them. He smirked at Victor and started to slowly unbutton his shirt.

"Ciao Victor," Marco said, taking his shirt off and throwing it on the floor, Victor was momentarily lost in Marco's abs and pecs.

"M-Marco? What are you doing here?" Victor finally asked surprised. Marco then winked at him. Victor knew that wink well; it was Sylo's way of assuring his control over a host.

"I'm so confused right now." Victor looked at Alexander, who was standing on his side, then back at Marco. "Who are you inside of right now?"

"Alexander is on autopilot. Marco has been my host since this morning. After I fucked you this morning and you got busy with Andrei and Ahmed, I called Marco to meet Alexander at a private place to discuss some business, and when he showed up, I turned him into my host." Marco explained.

"Are you saying that Alexander has been on autopilot all this afternoon?" Victor looked at Alexander on his side, who was grinning at him.

"You got me, Master." Alexander said.

"Exactly, I set his brain so he would act as if he was being controlled by me. Did he make a good impersonation of me?" Marco chuckled.

Victor was shocked, he spent the day with Alexander on autopilot and he had no clue. It wasn't the first time Sylo had pulled a prank like this. He enjoyed tricking Victor into thinking he was inside one host when he was actually in another.

"This will never get old." Marco laughed, putting his hands behind his head and showing Victor his hairy armpits. Victor couldn't deny how hot it was to see Marco shirtless in front of him, Victor now had a visible hard-on.

"He's a nice host, that's for sure. We will have a lot of fun with him." Victor sat on the bed and started to sniff Marco's hairy armpits, he smelled nice, like some fancy cologne.

"I thought you would appreciate some real Italian meat. I know how much you wanted an Italian host, and we kinda spoiled your plans by taking over those non-Italian men on the plane. Marco was born and raised in Italy, he should fulfill your fantasies."

"That's very sweet, thank you Sylo." He took his face from Marco's armpits and smirked at him. "Can you like... pretend to be the real Marco?"

"The real Marco would never be shirtless in front of you, the real Marco would have beaten you to a pulp for having your slutty mouth latching on his armpits."

Victor rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean, a gay version of Marco. Remember when you took over that hot cop and we roleplayed that he would only let me go if he fucked and came inside me?"

Suddenly, Marco's eyes rolled back for a moment, and then he gave Victor a seductive glance. "You think I didn't see the way you looked at me? You were stripping me with your eyes. You're such a dirty pervert, Victor." Marco pulled his pants down and lay down fully naked on the bed.

"Fuck me, Victor. I need you inside me, I knew it since the moment I saw you staring at me." Marco begged, shaking his ass to Victor.

Victor's heart raced with anticipation. He surveyed the scene before him: the Italian hunk, Marco, lay naked on the bed, and... oh my! That magnificent Italian ass! Victor couldn't help but lick his lips. He crept closer, his gaze locked on to the tempting target. Finally, he reached out and slowly, ever so slowly, pulled the sheets away. The Italian's big, round ass was revealed in all its glory. Victor took his clothes off and leaned in closer, pressing his body against Marco's back, and began to nibble on his neck, feeling the warmth of his breath against his skin. He continued to nibble and suckle at Marco's neck, feeling the muscles in his ass tighten beneath him.

The Italian hunk let out a groan, Victor smiled wickedly. He knew exactly what he had to do. He positioned himself behind Marco, his hard cock nestled against the entrance of his ass. Slowly, methodically, he began to push forward. The head of his cock pressed against Marco's entrance, and Victor could feel him tense beneath him. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart. With a sudden surge of power, he thrust forward, feeling the hot, velvety flesh of Marco's ass engulf his cock.

Marco cried out, arching his back further as Victor's cock slid deeper into him. The sensation was exquisite, almost too much to bear. Victor began to fuck him hard, his hips pounding against Marco's ass in a rhythmic cadence.

The room was filled with the sounds of their bodies slapping together, the wet smack of their flesh as it moved in tandem. Victor reached around, grabbing a handful of Marco's hair, using it to pull his head back and expose his neck.

"That's it, Marco," Victor whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "You're mine now, cum for me you bitch!" And with that, they came together in a passionate, sweaty embrace. As the last tremors of pleasure faded away, Victor collapsed onto the bed next to Marco, their bodies still connected by their entwined limbs. He smiled contentedly, feeling the weight of his release draining away. For a moment, they were both still, catching their breath, before Victor chuckled softly.

"This was your first time bottoming," Victor asked to Sylo, looking over at Marco with a wicked grin. "Do I make a good top?"

"I crawled out of him at the moment you were getting inside him." Alexander said across the room, he was now naked too with his heavy thick shaft swinging.

"Oh for god's sake, can you stop switching bodies for today?"

"You're my Master, but that doesn't mean I will let you top me," Alexander said, roping on the bed, he then grabbed Marco by his waist and shoved his entire shaft in one single thrust. Marco screamed, but Alexander gave his ass a hard slap and Marco went quiet.

Marco's phone started ringing, it was his wife. Alexander grabbed the phone and pulled Marco's hair. "Answer it!" Alexander growled in his ear while still fucking him.

"O-oh hey babe, uurrgghh... I'm in the middle of a meeting right now.... how is my baby angel?"

They changed positions, Alexander now had Marco on top of him, riding him while he still was talking on the phone. "I will stay at Alex's place for a few days... I know, babe, I'm sorry... I love you too." When the call ended, Marco finally let out all the moans he was holding during the call.

Victor was tired so he just watched Alexander fuck Marco non-stop for almost an hour. Finally, when Marco was about to cum, Alexander held Marco with his strong arms, so that Marco's cock was at his face level, and wrapped his mouth around Marco's shaft, just in time for Marco to start shooting.

After feeding, Alexander commanded Marco to freeze. He then lay down beside Victor, who was staring at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought.

"Is there something wrong, Master?" He asked, gently caressing Victor's hair. "I thought you would enjoy watching Alexander destroying Marco's ass."

"It's not it... tell me Sylo, do you think the five of you are the only ones? Don't you think maybe there could be more?"

"I can't say for sure because I couldn't know. But theoretically, it could have been more eggs in that Comet... why the random question?"

"I think we are not alone. I believe there could be others here at the resort."

"But that would be a huge coincidence for us to meet others while on vacation, Earth is a very big planet... unless" He gave Victor a stern look. "Are you hiding something from us, Master?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you all." Victor sat on the bed and sighed. "The real reason of this vacation is that I think more bugs could be here."

"What are you talking about? How would you know?"

"Remember the first man you took over? The Captain of that military operation?"

______________________________________

(1 month ago - USA)

"We're here, Master." Trent said. Trent was a popular gym coach who worked at a gym near Victor's house, after the bugs took over the bodies of the five military men, Victor, drunk with power, suggested the bugs to go to the gym next, once there, the five bugs converted all the hot muscular men working out that day into hosts, and Trent was one of Victor's favorites.

"Thank you for driving me here, Trent," Victor said, burying his face between Trent's big muscular pecs as he flexed them for Victor's amusement.

"Anything for you, Master," Trent said, gently burying Victor's face even more between his meaty pecs.

Without a bug inside his brain, Trent was put into autopilot mode, he was now just a mindless shell programmed to act like the old Trent, and of course, with Victor's suggestion, the bugs also programmed him and every other man on autopilot, to be Victor's slave.

As Victor was about to step out of the car, he had an Idea, he turned to Trent and smirked "While you wait for me, I want you to jerk off non-stop, I want you all sweaty when I'm back."

"Yes, Master," Trent responded, immediately pulling down his shorts, grabbing his 8 Inches cock and jerking off. Victor walked out of the car and went towards the military base.

After the gym takeover, the bugs explained to Victor that they could put the hosts on autopilot, Victor then went on a horny spree, helping turning every hot man he knew into a host and eventually into his slave. His hot neighbors, the construction crew that was working on a building near his house, random men he would see at the park — All fucked Victor at some point.

The military base in his city soon became Victor's next target in his quest for control. Accompanied by his five alien-controlled soldiers, Victor entered the base as if he already owned the place. The bugs crawled out from their hosts and began the takeover, turning one soldier after another into a slave for Victor. Now, these soldiers were no longer serving their country, but rather Victor himself.

Victor spotted the Captain waiting for him at the back doors of the base, Victor had learned that his name was Captain Torres.

"Hello Captain," Victor said, admiring the tall muscular man.

"Hi Master, where is your alien friends that turned me into a mindless shell?"

"I came alone this time," Victor walked closer to the Captain and felt his huge muscular arms.

"That's why you called me to meet you here? You missed these muscles, didn't you?" Captain Torres flexed his huge biceps in a cocky manner.

"Yes, I did miss these muscles," Victor smiled and pulled the Captain's head for a rough kiss. After a few seconds, Victor broke the kiss, leaving the Captain breathless. "But that's not the real reason I came here. I want you to search for something for me."

"Sure, Master, anything for you."

"I want to know the exact location of the meteorite that fell in Italy."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Master. That is confidential information and you're not an official. If I gave any private information about military business to a civilian, I would be breaking the law."

Victor chuckled. "It's honestly amazing how real you sound, anyone else would think you really mean that, in truth you're just a mindless muscle drone trying to act like the old Captain Torres would."

"But I am the real Captain Torres, Master"

"Put your hands behind your back and stand in attention." Victor commanded.

"Yes, Master." Captain Torres did what he was told, now standing with his hands behind his back, totally vulnerable to Victor. Victor grabbed the Captain's bulge and squeezed it.

Victor initially felt scared and intimidated by the much taller and more muscular hosts, he was afraid that those men would suddenly come back to themselves and kill Victor for taking advantage of their bodies. However, as he witnessed more and more big guys being converted into hosts, he started to become more confident. Captain Torres no longer intimidated him, now the only thing his presence did for Victor was to make his cock grow hard.

"You're not a real person anymore, 'Captain'. You're a pile of muscles programmed to act like the previous owner of these muscles. You know who these muscles belong to now?"

"Y-you, Master," The Captain responded, sweat forming on his forehead.

"That's right, I own your entire body. Now lead me to the command room, right now!" Victor then let go of the Captain's crotch.

"I don't know how to search for it, It's not my area. I will need to find Sergeant Jordan, he's an IT technician, he will know how to search for the location."

"Ok, what are you waiting for? Let's find him."

The captain guided Victor into the gymnasium, a cavernous space echoing with the sounds of exertion. Soldiers, engrossed in their workouts, turned to acknowledge Victor's presence. A few nodded, some offered smiles, and others, with a mix of pride and camaraderie, flexed their muscles in silent greeting. Victor savored the attention, reveling in his role as the master of these men. Amidst the rhythmic clanking of weights, Sergeant Jordan's formidable figure stood out. Noticing Victor, he set his weights aside and strode purposefully towards him.

"Hey Master, It's been a while. Are you back to make us fuck each other again? You should make Captain Torres bottom this time."

Victor walked towards Jordan and squeezed his meaty pecs. "As much as I would like to, I don't have time for it, the bugs don't even know I'm here."

"If you're not here to watch us fuck, then why are you here, Master?"

At the command room, the Captain sat on a nearby chair and looked at Sergeant Jordan. "Master wants you to find the location of the meteorite that fell in Italy."

"That is going to be impossible, the meteorite that fell in Italy was never found." Sargeant Jordan explained.

"That's because they searched for it in the wrong way, the meteorites work as a spaceship for the aliens, they pilot that egg by using telekinesis. The military was looking for a meteorite when they actually should be searching for a UFO. You meatheads only found the egg in my house because my noisy neighbor reported it."

"That makes sense, but It's going to take me some time; I will need to request access for the Air Force." Sergeant Jordan sat and started to type.

"Be quick, the bugs can't know that I'm here." Victor kneeled under the table between Jordan's legs and started to open his fly, freeing his thick 9-inch snake and started to suck.

"Yes, Master, I will do my best." Jordan moaned as Victor's tongue started to lap his shaft. Victor had forgotten how big Jordan was. On the day of the military base takeover, Sylo was the one who took over Jordan, that day he fucked Victor rough with this big tool while an orgy happenned in the background.

After sucking Jordan for a while, Victor stood up and kneeled between the Captain's legs and opened his fly, freeing his big thick 11 Inches.

"So you're... uuurrgghhh... hiding from the bugs huh?" The Captain asked. Victor took the shaft from his mouth and slapped it on his own face. "I'm not hiding from them, they just don't have to know everything I do." Victor slightly squeezed the Captain's balls. "You're not gonna tell them, are you?"

"I won't. I only answer to you, Master," the Captain said, grabbing Victor by the neck and pulling him into a long, wet kiss. Victor melted in the Captain's strong muscular arms.

"Wait, that's weird..." Sergeant Jordan muttered as he stared at the screen.

"What's wrong?" The Captain asked.

"On the day of Comet Clyde's passage, an Italian satellite detected an unidentified flying object at a resort called 'La Dolce Vita Resort'."

"Very well done Jordan," Victor said, walking to Jordan and kissing him, Jordan's softening cock now started to grow again.

"Shells can't cum without being authorized, so as a reward, I will let you cum by fucking Captain Torres." Victor glanced at the Captain, who did not look amused. "Captain, take your pants off and get on all fours, Jordan here is going to stuff your ass."

"Thank you, Master!" Sergeant Jordan grinned.

Victor took a photo of the resort address on the computer screen, while Captain Torres was already on all fours with his big muscular ass sticking up. Sergeant Jordan kneeled behind him and started unbuckling his belt. Victor gave them one last look, he wished he could stay and watch them, but he didn't have time. As Victor walked down the corridor, he could still hear the clapping noises and Captain Torre's loud moans.

Back to Trent's car, Trent was a moaning mess, his black tank top was drenched in cum and his muscles were glistening with sweat. He looked at Victor with his tongue out as he continued pumping his big meat for Victor.

Victor paid him no attention, instead reaching for his phone. He scrolled through his extensive list of contacts — he had added so many numbers in the past few months — until he found the name he sought: Mr. Thompson, his hot Daddy neighbor, the man Sylo was currently in. A deep, raspy voice answered on the other end. "Where have you been, Master? We were starting to get worried."

"I'm fine, I was just having a fun time with Trent."

"Come back, we are about to feed, and we know how much you love watching us feed. Bring Trent with you, the more the merrier."

"Oh, I don't know if he will be of much help," Victor said as he looked at Trent shooting another load. "And there it goes his last load."

"Bring him with you anyway, It's been a while since I fucked you in this shell."

"Alright, I will be there soon, Daddy..." Victor chuckled, "You guys have been so good to me. You know, Sylo, I was just thinking... what do you think of a vacation?"

______________________________________

"You did what?" Alexander's voice thundered through the room, anger etched across his face. "I can't believe you went ahead with that without even asking us first!"

"It was just a theory back then. Besides, we don't even know for certain if there are any other bugs here. I could still be wrong."

"I don't care, you put us all into danger! You should have told us!"

"Should I? I'm your Master, and you should obey me! That was the deal, remember?" Victor shouted. But as soon as the words left his mouth, regret followed. He didn't want to be an authoritarian Master; that wasn't the kind of leader he aspired to be. He wanted the bugs to be more than obedient pets; he wanted them to be his friends. Victor sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

Alexander gazed at Victor with a disappointed expression. Suddenly, his eyes rolled back and Sylo swiftly crawled out of his mouth, disappearing under the door gap.

"No please come back, Sylo! I'm so-rry..."

Victor sat on the edge of the bed with his head down. Marco and Alexander — Now both empty shells, sat on his side and comforted their Master.

[aliaology]

SO AMERICAN (short)

SUMMARY: in which holtzy and you are dating, and you are very much in love with him

PAIRINGS: alexander holtz x fem!hughes!reader

WARNINGS: none just fluff :)

driving on the, right side road. he says im pretty, wearing his clothes. and hes got hands that, make hell seem cold. feet on the dashboard, he’s like a poem i wish i wrote. i wish i wrote.

you were the prime example of ‘passenger princess’ but in your very own car. i mean— it wasn’t necessarily your fault that you weren’t the best suited to drive in the city. no no— it was jacks because all he did was drive you and luke around.

but your brother was not the one driving. no, it was your boyfriend who was. you also never understood why he loved to drive your car. but the actual reason was because it was so… you. and he loved that.

your feet were propped on the dashboard, notebook and pen in your lap and hand as you mindlessly scribbled words together. alex’s hand was on your thigh, the warmth from his hand spreading throughout your body like a wildfire.

his fingers traced lightly on your bare thighs, pinky almost sliding up and hitting your shorts with every move he made. the bumps in the road made it so his hand would lightly hit your skin.

your eyes were averted to the pen and paper as you eagerly wrote down word after word, his hand squeezing your thigh every few minutes.

as he squeezed your thigh one more time, you looked over to him. he was the epitome of a love poem and you wished you were the one to write it. with a soft smile on your face, you leaned closer to him and placed your lips onto his cheek.

and he laughs at all my jokes, and he says im so american! oh god, its just not fair of him to make me feel this much. go anywhere he goes, and he says im so american! oh god, im gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up. i might just be in la-la-la-la-love.

you two were at a restaurant, smiling at each other. you spoke, hushed and quietly, almost with embarrassment. your words caused him to burst with laughter, hand slapping over his mouth as his shoulders shook.

his reaction caused you to giggle, a bright smile on your face. the smile would quickly turn to one of embarrassment when you ask a waitress for a meal— one that you have trouble pronouncing. and he laughs as the waitress leaves.

you had a frown on your face— not one of sadness but one of ‘are you kidding me?’

alex snorted as he spoke, “you are so american.”

feigning a look of offense, your eyes narrowed slightly, giving a look of hurt. this just caused alex to chuckle more before grabbing your hand and pressing a small kiss to it.

“how about we just get out of here instead? i think i’d very much rather eat in.” he suggested.

and so you went wherever he did. you ditched the restaurant. you ditched the fancy dinner, and you went home. when you got home; you both eagerly sat on the couch and just watched a movie.

god im so boring, and im so rude! cant have a conversation if its not all about you. the way you dress and, the books you read. i really love my bed but man its hard to sleep when he’s with me. when he’s with me…!

you sat with your friends, picking at your nails as they spoke. their conversation being something about style— something about clothes. you weren’t too interested, you weren’t even talking.

“anything to add, y/n?” one asked.

you shrugged. “i don’t know— style wise i really like alex’s and maybe i’m just biased but it seems super comfy. shockingly he also has a great taste in books and—“

“girl all you do is take about your man!” your friend cut you off.

another friend piped up, “can’t say i blame her. i mean we’ve been friends for what? seven years? in that time frame shes had one boyfriend and he kinda sucked. if i had a man treat me the way hers does, i’d be plastering that everywhere.”

your last friend shrugged. “i get it— honestly i want to hear more about this guy. she talks about him but its never enough because someone interrupts her.”

“its fine— all you really need to know about him is that he treats me very well, and i love him.”

after your little get together with your friends, you made your way to your apartment. the sun was setting and you wanted to lay in bed. but as soon as you got home, locked up and went to your room and saw your boyfriend, you knew for a fact you wouldn’t be going to sleep.

i apologize if its a little too much, just a little too soon. but if the conversation ever were to come up i don’t wanna assume this stuff. but aint it rough? think im in love!

[lxvvie]

On today's episode of Pranks R Us: It's that time of the year when we're inundated with Christmas carols and movies. All. Damn. Day. Hallmark. Here's a scenario for you: How would your faves react to you purposely, horrendously serenading them with Christmas songs that... they don't like? 😊

Capt. John Price - He's nursing his cuppa because he knows for a fact that the boys put you up to this. He feels it in his bone marrow for Christ's sake. Price likes to think he's smiling behind the mug but his cheeks are hurting a bit too much for it to be genuine which really means he's gonna give the rest of 141 hell when he sees them the next time.

Gaz - Went from raising a brow to his cheeks being puffed the hell out because he's trying his best not to laugh in your face. When you're done, you have the biggest shit-eating grin... which devolves into laughter from both you and him. Tears are rolling down your eyes and he's clutching his stomach. God, he loves you, darling.

Soap - Soap is currently the Soapurrito™ with Whiskey (referencing this post) when you decide to randomly serenade them both. Not only do you have Soap looking confused but the dog keeps tilting his head as well, too. Then you hit that one note and they tilted their head at the same damn time and you just fell out laughing.

Ghost - (Referencing this post) Ghost was having a smoke and knit session and then you barged in and began singing. Not only did you sing the absolute worst fucking Christmas song to ever exist to him but you decided to channel your inner Luciano Pavarotti and make it classical for him. You thought you ate that shit but Ghost was staring at you in Say Sike, Mate the entire time while still knitting. You winked and blew him a kiss and if 'Why are we here? Just to suffer?' was a person.

Roach - He, like Price, was smiling a bit too brightly which means that he's crying on the inside. The one who gets up and gives you that reassuring squeeze because you got the spirit. Not everyone is meant to be a singer but he thanks you and revels in the holiday cheer! ❤️

Alex Keller - Was watching TV and not really paying attention to it and then BAM, you popped up! The more you sing, the more you realize his thighs are slowly but surely closing together and LIKE HELL YOU'LL CLOSE SHUT THE JAWS OF SWEET KELLER LOVIN', ALEX.

Alejandro - Alejandro looked up from his work, leaned back in his chair, and just stared at you with a furrowed brow. Rudy and the others are in earshot and are quietly, collectively laughing their asses off. You actually do a couple songs (per the bet) and Alejandro... has a stiff drink in the meantime lmao.

Rudy - Actually does laugh in your face, even though it's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Apologizes while laughing in your face. Because laughter is contagious, however, you, too, start laughing.

König - König gets incredibly excited because Schatz, he didn't know you liked to sing horribly! And when you're done, he, too, chooses to serenade you, and holy shit, König actually can sing!

Horangi - Horangi has the most deadpan expression on his face. He's the one that promises you you can sit on his face all day long if you'll promise him to never sing again stop singing.

Graves - Graves was on a conference call with the boys when you busted in and started singing. The entire time, he's rocking the Zoolander grimace and when you're done, you hear someone give their best Simon Cowell impersonation and then it turns into Shadow Company's Got Talent and you're being judged. 'A' for Ass effort, darlin'.

Valeria - The one who rolls her eyes and massages her temple. May or may not put your ass on the couch tonight for this. Or, better yet, you wanna sing? Put your mouth to good use and sing on her pu—

Keegan - Is the epitome of lost as hell. Keegan is the one grimacing with every high note you, er, try to hit. He can't even bring himself to smile but his eyes are somewhat comically wide, made more so after you kiss his cheek, take the piss out of him, and ask him how you did.

[fiveredlights]

my viticulture knowledge has failed me :)))

i saw this gif set whilst in a fever induced haze and constructed a whole universe in my head

gaycedes

has anyone consulted a gay person over here you guys still can’t be looking for max’s “wife”

#let us put two and two together and ask why he’s literally never been spotted with a girlfriend like ever #really think about it

3 notes

—

Max walks into the paddock with a simple silver ring on his left ring finger. The internet goes full detective mode looking for his wife.

So that’s the first problem.

basically daniel isn’t a driver in this universe, he’s a wine guy (you wouldn’t be able to tell i did study viticulture for my HSC given the fact i called him a wine guy)—they meet in a dan murphy’s after max stands there like ??? at the wine aisle and daniel slyly recommends his own wine. max has no idea who this hot guy is but lucky for him hot guy mysteriously is at some sponsor event at the grand prix. daniel’s like “did you like the wine?” max is like “well of course it was a gift so i do not know if i would like it. more of a gin and tonic guy.” daniel’s like, well dang it guess i should have started a gin brand and the train finally arrives at the station for max, and daniel, being the epitome of effortlessly uncool over max is like “daniel ricciardo, enchante” and max hates that he’s been so charmed over this guy and his weirdly patterned loud shirt.

time jump blah blah maybe they get eloped in las vegas idk i’ve always wanted to write a las vegas wedding, like six years after they started dating max walks into a race with a wedding ring and people go batshit. internet investigations are started. deuxmoi posts a new sighting with his “wife” almost every day. people analyse every single photo ever with a woman to see if it could his wife.

daniel finds this fucking hilarious and sends max to deliver a tonne of dr3 wines to the paddock and some people are like Oh. Oh! most people are like okay cool whatever i’m sure this wine guy knows who his wife is. people never find out who his wife is, but they get papped going to a wedding (could be george and alex i’ve always gotta sneak them in there) together with matching rings and people are like oh wine guy is actually the wife. wow we’re kinda stupid whilst everyone who has been on the maxiel train gets unlimited i told you so’s for the rest of their life

[quixtrix]

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

[carlos55inz]

so . i suppose i am back ( still not particularly well, but i guess possibly losing your mind in reality fuels the creative process maybe ?? ) with something also in a futuristic au but like … i guess blade runner & inception aesthetics tossed together with an anastasia backstory & rich kids & businesspeople politicking ft. illegal things & like . way too many ‘ accidental fires ’ ? idk . i did say i was losing my mind & the pov doesn’t even give the full context . ( it’s max & carlos & charles, but the vibes are kind of angsty & rancid & don’t even @ me about relationship dynamics, whoops ? )

in hindsight, the disaster started when finally, there came a night when max verstappen got drunk in heaven. only, he’s not really in heaven — it’s just the joking nickname for the club on the 100th floor of this skyscraper, where all the floors below fulfill any desire you could have. some of what’s here is mundane, grocery stores with the freshest fruits & clothing boutiques to make you the most fashionable person around — others are the epitome of decadence & decay, of why pr teams are so badly needed. ( he’s smart enough to let other people find a fix for him, if he needs it that badly, at least. )

the mistake was letting lando drag him anywhere. the point of no return was letting him drag max here. ( he should’ve heeded the pr team’s advice, but he’d never been a fan of authority. )

the neon lights, sea of noises & lights, alcohol drenching his pressed shirt an hour in, alex tumbling into the pool with a giant splash before being yanked out by a disgruntled george, so many perfumes nauseatingly mixing together, lando somehow wresting control of the dj booth & cranking the sound up until he could hardly hear, until with the pulsing red lights & thundering beat, it seemed as though he was trapped right in the middle of a heart. ( he gets it, dimly, why people would give anything for a night here. it makes everything a haze, forgetting painfully easy. )

he is due to inherit the redbull conglomerate, who are involved in just about anything & everything, joked to have hearts that stain as black as the window tints on their tower that looms over the city almost menacingly — corporations who loom large in the public conscious & places you’d kill to get into. he takes a speeder to work & avoids traffic by simply flying above it all at dizzying speeds & swerving sharply around the neon lights & skyscrapers that comprise this city. he is max verstappen, he does not stray or doubt & yet —

perched on a barstool, dark coat draped around his shoulders & wide, unfocused eyes staring distractedly into the distance, rouge lips pressed against the rim of an overly colourful glass, something unreal made human — max has seen a ghost.

the sainz family is a taboo topic around these parts. once the founders of the most respected pharmaceutical & biomedical research company around, almost a decade ago, their tower burned down in a chemical accident & killed almost everyone inside, every member of the family included. alongside them, decades of research & innovation went up in flames & in the aftermath, the surviving employees all jumped ship. max remembers that day — the sky had turned artifically red, bleeding scarlet alongside the setting sun as the fire raged well into the night. he’d stood on his balcony, of the building he’d only moved back into weeks ago & watched the whole night & into the next morning, hands clenched into fists while jos watched on, something cruel & satisfied curling on his lip. he remembers reading the coroners’ report. he does not remember crying, but the sting hadn’t receded from his eyes for days afterwards. ( jos pushes him into the business, into colder things — he doesn’t fight it, this time around. )

the red bull conglomerate snatched up most of the surviving employees, because the sainz family had long been partners with them anyways. the rumours of what exactly was hidden in that tower though — the whispers of ducking government investigations, illict & lethal medication funneled down into the streets & most notoriously, pills that supposedly made you forget? those never went away. ( it’s nonsense. myths, stories spun by people who have nothing to lose by telling an impossible tale. or so they say. )

he isn’t so certain. but maybe it’s coloured by a childhood friendship with carlos, both of them growing up on the same enclave outside the city that redbull associated affluent families favoured, where the clocks went slower & everything seemed frozen in time, a little. the verstappens had a home there & so did the sainz family — & it was there that he met carlos, their only son, back when he was fifteen or sixteen & had wandered off his family’s property & into the lush orchards & meadows of the neighbouring one. ( he couldn’t be blamed — in the rare few trips he’d taken into the city, greenery was nonexistent & jos was no fan of gardening either. )

the first time, carlos had almost kicked a ball into his face in distraction & shouted there was an intruder. the second time, max gathered up the courage to march up the impressively long driveway & knock on the front door instead. the third time, the fourth — he forgot, after that. they started taking their lessons together while squabbling about formulas & diagrams, falling down onto the grass & blinking sun out of their eyes, carlos peeling oranges on the counter while singing so badly out of tune, the suspicious stares of their fathers from afar ( jos had never liked carlos or softer things in life ) while they laughed so much his chest hurt afterwards. smart & kind & warm — being around carlos was almost too easy, soothing the ragged edges of hurt & disapproval he didn’t even realise was there most times. ( he doesn’t realise until years later that carlos had grown up with almost no one except his family around, so isolated that not a single photo of him existed & no one else he knew had any recollection of him. it had been paranoia & in the end, it had perhaps been justified. )

max wasn’t in love, no, the same way he’d never grieved. ( liar, liar, liar. ) & it’s only afterwards, when he wakes up at lando’s with the taste of champagne in his mouth, that he asks. & lando, suspicious but flippant, laughs that finally max has succumbed to being lonely, that he’s come to steal another of lando’s friends, that he can’t believe max fell for an escort, for chili. ( he’s an escort for one of the most well-known agencies,lando laughs, so he’s nice to people like me for money & they like him a lot. that had sent him reeling. so he’s your friend? what’s his name? max had asked, praying lando hadn’t noticed how badly his voice is about to wobble. i’ve never hired him, we just met at the club two years ago,lando replies, he’s carlos. i don’t know his last name, i’ve never asked & he’s never said. the holographic photo display he projects at max is startling clear, bambi eyes & plush lips, eternally finding things a touch funny & — max almost throws up on lando’s sofa. )

carlos sainz, a name that curls around your tongue with the faintest hint of an ache. but that’s not the name he finds when he secretly goes digging, pulls some strings from people he knows cannot refuse him ( are nowhere close to repaying the debts they owe, because redbull are ruthless & resort to methods as dirty as everyone else ) & retrieves what he needs to know about the renault agency, about chili.

he’s still carlos. but this time, carlos merhi. that’s what the records say, shimmer of dark letters on an electronic screen. only member of the merhi family left alive after their street failed to survive a residential fire that had devoured much of it. ( a street that is being razed & integrated into a new redbull funded development. ) now, the most wanted escort in the city — the most beautiful thing to live nine levels below heaven.

a carlos who now doesn’t talk about his past, doesn’t remember him at all, smiles & laughs & easily leans into his hugs, makes feeling good way too easy. max has heard of it, trauma affecting memories. but to seemingly never say a word or make any hint of recognition ? either carlos is a devastatingly good actor, or something truly awful has happened. ( in a sick way, he’s almost glad carlos doesn’t remember, because then he wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt. )

max doesn’t want to think about it, the rumours about just what the sainz family knew. he doesn’t want to think about how he knows redbull was responsible for that fire because carlos sr had pushed back on every attempt to access the more cutting edge, radical research & they’d lost their patience in the end, & yet he’d still staked his life in their name, even if for years he’d thought his childhood friend was dead. he’s not a particularly good person by any means, they run this conglomerate like how you’d run the mob, taking out anyone & everyone interrupting their ambitions. but still.

he goes back, every week. transfers carlos exorbitant amounts of money, a paltry attempt at what he’s not even sure is a sorry. doesn’t ask for much of anything, sometimes plays games on the screen, sometimes just sits & stares at the skyline as he leans against carlos & tries to convince himself he’s not chasing the closeness they’d had all those years ago. lets carlos make conversation, take his mind away from the day, lets the past & its memories creep up a touch too close. afraid, almost, that it’s all just another trick of the light or sleepless night. rubs idly at his ring finger, hopes that no one realises there’s a few days too many where he doesn’t sleep at ‘ home ’ anymore. ( prays that carlos won’t remember, prays that he does & won’t turn his back instead. )

because there’s a reason this could be ruinous. he hadn’t understood why, didn’t know for what reason gp & hannah & adrian hadn’t called it all off screaming — keep your friends close, enemies closer, maybe. ( charles leclerc’s hand in marriage is not one he wants, but it’s the one he might have to take. ferrari & redbull, staring down mercedes & mclaren. it’d almost be cute if it weren’t his life being dragged from him, kicking & screaming. ferrari are older & more established, though losing that polish — he knows as long as they can expand their business, they don’t care for anyone who gets in the way. )

max knows charles too. intimately, since they were children, in the way you know a bruise, a scar, something ripe & bleeding & a mirror all the same. ferrari & redbull are at odds more often than not, one with a certain arrogance, the other a wounded pride — both with hubris yet afraid of being backed into corners by rivals unafraid to make public embarassments of them all. ( these conglomerates sell medicines & watch models stride across the stage by day, dabble in drugs & funnel money into illegal street races at night — everyone knows they are all virtually criminal enterprises cleaned up to look like proper businesses. )

they’ve tried undermining each other so many times, thrown wrench after wrench into each other’s plans & unhesitatingly exchanged barbed words across pristine tabletops. the comparisons are endless in the press & though it’s all nonsense — it still rankles max. ( screw destiny, being pre-destined, as if that had meant anything, or ever could. ) & now people up there are convinced that something could be scaffolded together from the combined force of ferrari & redbull together, tied by the prospect of a farcical relationship between their heirs & probably on the verge of disintegration every other day, because redbull liked to stab others & ferrari was good enough at stabbing itself sometimes.

he hates dealing with press. charles is good enough at it, armed with a charming smile & relaxes into the poses he needs to strike for the cameras. he can’t be bothered to change out of his standard-issue redbull shirt most days. charles probably has an army of people who make him look like a bit of a hapless model.

the nights max has dinners with charles under the guise of ‘ thawing the ice ’, he thinks maybe too much about painting an ugly bloom of bruises, something to stain the distanced perfection charles holds himself in sometimes. ( he eventually gives up on exactly how he wants to do it. ) the barely hidden reverence for ferrari ( a corporation ! max could laugh, if he weren’t so beholden to redbull for giving him something to do with life, the luxury he can now afford his mother & sisters ). it’s uncomfortable & the more time max unwillingly spends putting up this ruse, the more he feels like he’s spinning about, surrounded by funhouse mirrors while furiously trying to get away from it all. ( what sorts of ploys either of them have up their sleeves, he doesn’t know & even then, he is not, cannot be afraid. after all, if the thought of the dead didn’t scare him much anymore, what could ? )

but they are both prone to occasionally holding grudges. striding into uncertain futures, people who’ve been cruel & convinced themselves it was necessity. tied to families that loom above the rest, now to organisations that could care less as long as the numbers looked pretty & they won whatever turf wars were going on, both literal & metaphorical. people who could be softer & better in other situations, other times but — that’s the one luxury neither of them can buy back now. ( its a tidal force of something, a yanking that daniel side eyes & makes lando look at him like he’s gone mad, like they’re both afraid the other will call a bluff first. )

he attends events with charles by day & ignores the engagement rumours while insisting publicly he’s done with pointless fights, falls asleep with his hologram display in carlos’ bed at night. warm eyes, dark hair, a much envied beauty & a heart not his for the taking, not that he wants or could carry the weight of it anymore. charles & carlos — even the same name wound two ways, drenched in patterns of light & shadow dancing across the window. he cannot think about it anymore, not that it’s any safer to feel. ( like his moments aren’t scraped across his eyes, like he seems to be impatient & hot-headed but also can’t let any of it fade from his mind. )

in the divine comedy, dante wrote about hell having nine circles. perhaps max should’ve paid more attention in those literature classes he only ever wanted to escape from — because otherwise, he would’ve realised there was some irony in how the ninth circle was for treachery. ( that he may have been so much worse a judge of intentions, or that some people had somehow outplayed his hand for so much longer. )

( the complaint used to be that you couldn’t remember anything. now it’s that you can’t forget — not that it’s any less devastating. )

( tbh idk what i was going for with this but like . ephermerality of memory . people being kind of awful . lying versus omitting the truth versus keeping someone safe . slow thaws, a long ache . entanglements made fatal . or, as margaret atwood put it — we were ruinous together . but how else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin ? )

- charlos au anon <3

if you are scrolling down your page and see this ask, read it. this is an amazing au. i’m speechless. i wish i could read 200k words of this universe.

WE ARE BACK IN THE GAME IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU HERE. alright. let’s go. max, charles AND carlos? oh i’m fucking seated. im down. the sci-fi theme mixed with fantasy is one of my favorite things. you nailed this down we need more fics with crazy words building.

“joked to have hearts that stain as black as the window tints on their tower that looms over the city almost menacingly” damn charlos au anon, writing masterpieces in my ask again????

“he is max verstappen, he does not stray or doubt & yet—“ god how i love a yet— is one of my favorites things. the suspense. sitting at the edge of my seat waiting for more.

charlos anon au, if i had the money, i would sponsor you like the old times where the riches paid good money for artist to just do nothing except live by their art. i would give you money just so you could do nothing but write a long ass fanfiction of this idea because, really, what a masterpiece. i can’t get enough. this is my favorite setting for fics and you are brillaint in the way you describe and built the word and the relationship between the characters. this is Amazing. i read this almost 5 times because of how much i liked it. i gushed about it to my roommate. i said it before, but i need to say it again, i wish i could snuggle around your brain just to watch because it must be marvelous in there. all these ideas forming (you know those memes SHE SENT ME HER LOCATION TF IS THIS is me sending my location: charlos au anon’s brain)

“ blinking sun out of their eyes, carlos peeling oranges on the counter while singing so badly out of tune, the suspicious stares of their fathers from afar ( jos had never liked carlos or softer things in life ) while they laughed so much his chest hurt afterwards. smart & kind & warm — being around carlos was almost too easy, soothing the ragged edges of hurt & disapproval he didn’t even realise was there most times.” i got to say, you nailed down carlos. i love you talk about him in your ideas. always warm and kind, despite everything, after all, he is still kind. always.

yeah. right. max. that does sound like someone who isn’t in love, sure.

(also, versainz? way to get my heart. fucking love these two gremlin paired together).

CARLOS MERHI???? FUCK OFFFFFF. YOUR MINDDDDDD. OH MY GOD??????? “the most beautiful thing to live nine levels below heaven.” oh he is. he so is.

“either carlos is a devastatingly good actor, or something truly awful has happened. (in a sick way, he’s almost glad carlos doesn’t remember, because then he wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt.)” i need a moment to lay down. you do this every time. how do you pull this. you always make me feel too much that i need a break. but i can’t get a break because i want to keep reading. i can’t get enough.

“he doesn’t want to think about how he knows redbull was responsible for that fire” THE TWISTS THE REVELATIONS? oh this is fucking good. this is gold. i need a whole ass 300k of this. you have bewitched me body and soul with this one. you are getting better every time. i didn’t think it was possible was it was already fucking Great the last au, but you are doing it. i don’t know how but you are raising the bar every time.

“charles leclerc’s hand in marriage is not one he wants, but it’s the one he might have to take.” oh we got to charles. oh the plot is thickening.

“max knows charles too. intimately, since they were children, in the way you know a bruise, a scar, something ripe & bleeding & a mirror all the same.” fuck off charlos au anon you can’t just casually write this like it’s nothing. it’s everything. it’s something people would find in classical books and say damn. like dostoyevsky and dastiel fic writers are looking at you with envy right now. “because redbull liked to stab others & ferrari was good enough at stabbing itself sometimes.” do you get what i’m saying????? this is insane!

“screw destiny, being pre-destined, as if that had meant anything, or ever could.” oh i see you. i see the pre-destined thing. i do.

“we were ruinous together . but how else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin” charlos au anon. this was everything. i swear. this was. amazing. i can’t begin to describe how much i enjoyed every second of reading it (once, twice, thrice, and a bunch of times more).

(also i can’t add you or message you on discord for some reason??? so please you can find me as undertheceu if you want to ramble to me in there or just chat!! i would love to as i have much more i would like to say to you but i can’t right now because i’m in class!)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 43

LOTS OF PLOT we're jumping on two years, it's 1969, and we're back with Smith, Amy, Rory and River for the Impossible Astronaut. Also Sterling from Leverage, that's fun.

Nothing else about this episode is fun.

I'm going to limit too much of this rant, but fucking hell. There are two (2) things on a loop in my head as I watch this episode, to whit:

The very first episode we watched was Fires of Pompeii. Donna wants to evacuate the city, the Doctor says they can't and tells her to listen. "I don't know what sort of kids you've been travelling with," Donna snarls. "But you're not telling me to shut up."

Just before the casting of Peter Capaldi was announced, Doctor Who was at its height in the UK cultural zeitgeist. For the first time, the public were talking very seriously about how much they wanted the Doctor to finally be a woman. And a female journalist at the time wrote a think piece about how she wanted it to still be a man, because she wanted her daughters to have a role model of how men are supposed to be, and behave.

Let's find out why those are haunting me!

So we start with the Doctor being shot in the head by an astronaut in America, and literally dying, but then it turns out he sent invites to Amy, Rory, River, a random American man, and his younger self, hinting them back to 1969. Before they leave, they need to burn his corpse.

"What do we do?" intones Karen Gillan so unconvincingly you'd think she was a "grieving" rich widower standing over the body of her fifth elderly husband.

"What the Doctor's friends always do," Alex Kingston says with genuine gravitas, because she's great. "What we're told."

...

...

...

ah I see why I'm thinking of Donna

Anyway, off they go. The Doctor spends his time being the epitome of toxic masculinity. At one point he literally yells the sentence "I'm being clever and there's no one to pay attention! What's the point of you!" I expect this was supposed to be humorous, but this was merely the latest whiny pathetic Elon Musk-esque mantrum, so it did not hit right. At another point he starts showing off how to fly the TARDIS, and River steps up and secretly corrects him behind his back. When he asks her if she touched anything, she lies, to preserve his manly ego (I am expected to find this #Feminist I think.) At several points he then insults these people we have just supposedly seen devastated and grieving over his loss; "Don't play games with me, don't EVER, ever think you're capable of it," he stamps and sulks (and he is genuinely sulking as he does.) He mocks Amy's weight, Rory's nose, and River's age. It honestly genuinely leaves you wondering why a single one of them gives a shit about his death. Oh, and here's one for the list, in a bit - River gives Rory an impassioned monologue about how her relationship with the Doctor works. They're both time travellers, so they're moving in opposite directions. This means that

a) One day, she will meet him and he won't remember her. "On that day, it will kill me," she says. This seems portentous.

b) When she first met him she was a young impressionable girl and he was this amazing man who knew everything about her. "Can you imagine what that does to a girl?" she says, describing herself as having been fucking groomed.

I see why I'm remembering a woman claiming this was a role model.

ANYWAY this is also the first of a two-parter. We go back to 1969, and learn there's a little girl phoning Richard Nixon every night asking for help; he's called in Sterling, who here is an ex-FBI agent who left because he wanted an illegal marriage (so either inter-racial, gay, or both, I'm assuming.) The gang go and find said girl in an abandoned warehouse full of Doug Jones, dressed as a creepy alien with penis fingers like King Prince Charles that everyone forgets whenever they look away (the whole alien, not the penis fingers.) She's also dressed as an astronaut, and has possibly been experimented on. Also Amy monopolises the Doctor's time across two separate scenes while he's trying to save a child by VERY VERY SLOWLY and with a billion repeated filler lines telling him she's pregnant, so... does that date us on Amy's timeline? I mean we know that's River now.

I mean we also know River is the one who supposedly kills the Doctor, so that'll be the astronaut. And the girl? Probably, though I don't remember the previous versions being American. Or wait! I do! Mels said she regenerated as a child in New York, so yeah, we know that. Honestly, very strange they're presenting all this as a surprise when we already know. Almost as though this is a deeply stupid order to watch the show in that ruins plot twists.

Well. Anyway. Then Amy shoots a literal child who is pleading for help. Believe it or not, that's actually the height of usefulness for her in this episode. Sexy Lamp test profoundly failed by Amy and Rory.

OKAY SO PLOT POINTS!!!! Let's see, let's see...

I mean hilariously the mysteries of this episode are almost entirely already known. River kills him. River is Amy's unborn child. River is the astronaut. The Doctor is the reason she's in prison, because she kills him. Is this why Amy and Rory thought he was dead? Maybe. Also, we know it's the Silents who brainwash Melody, so... presumably this is to do with them.

BUT, who are the penis fingered aliens? Haven't met them yet. We have our second reference to fish fingers and custard, which apparently massively matter to Amy. Um... Oh, yeah, River says she'll die one day when the Doctor doesn't remember her. Tbh babe you can do better. Hope you don't mean that.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NEW INFO: NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She's deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard? NEW INFO: same question but I'm repeating it

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years?

How does the Doctor survive River. NEW INFO: he doesn't, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? NEW INFO: is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

Who are the penis fingered aliens?

River says she'll die one day when the Doctor doesn't remember her, let's hope she doesn't mean it

[lksvi]

𔓕 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎› ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎﹫john price

‎ ‎⊹ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎dreaming of you

⋆ soulmate are bound by the universal law that is fate. every night, soulmates will see their chosen ones in their dreams. intimate details are forbidden to be shared, but talks are permitted. the dreams stop when you meet your soulmate. after years of speaking to this stranger in your dreams, you finally meet him. just not in the way you'd expect

( soulmate au, tba )

‎ ‎⊹ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎body to flame

⋆ john price is the epitome of power. he is an elusive man, seen rarely, but his few appearances are memorable. woman gawk at him and men huff with jealousy. to the city of arcanum, john price is the ideal man. however, everyone has secrets. when you catch price somewhere he shouldn't be, your life becomes entangled with a cult and its secrets— all under the watchful eyes of john price

( cult leader!john price, cult au, might become a series haven't decided yet, manipulation, dark themes, based off of lucy dacus' 'body to flame,' tba )

‎ ‎⊹ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎if past you met future me, would you be holding me here right now?

⋆ years ago, being at the wrong place at the wrong time costed you weeks of your life. tortured and beaten within an inch of your life, your savior came in the form of captain john price. one date leads to two and, suddenly, you're married. now, the universe seems to play a cruel joke on you when you awake in the cell from years ago. this time, captain price doesn't save you— lieutenant price does

( past au, thinking thoughts about lieutenant price, torture, gore, based off of lucy dacus' 'historians,' tba )

‎ ‎𔓕 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎› ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎﹫simon "ghost" riley

‎ ‎⊹ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎to have him is to have the stars

⋆ your mother always warned you about soldiers: they know how to leave without a trace. do not love them. you feel bad for disobeying her words. if simon wasn't himself, you would probably adhere to them. or, ten reasons not to love him

( based off a poem i wrote thinking about ghost, ghost's pov, gore, violence, war, tba )

‎ ‎𔓕 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎› ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎﹫leon kennedy

‎ ‎⊹ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the alcott

⋆ summer becomes a lot more worrisome when you're kidnapped by a strange group. after being chained for days, you're dragged to a church where you meet ashley. supposedly the president's daughter, you blow her off when she talks of getting rescued. until her rescue comes in the form of special agent leon kennedy— your ex-boyfriend

( series in planning stage, reader is petty and immature, goes through the plot of re4r, tw for that cult leader guy whos name i forgot, tba )

‎ ‎𔓕 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎› ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎﹫luis sera

‎ ‎⊹ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎blinking in the starlight

⋆ all your life, you've been isolated in your tower. the only other person you've ever known is your grandmother. longing to see the outside world first-hand, you come up with a plan to escape. a flirty thief climbing your tower speeds your plan up

( tangled au, tba )

‎ ‎𔓕 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎› ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎﹫alex keller

⋆ deployment is always rough. being pulled from your little alone time to work for government is never enjoyable. an undercover op is less enjoyable— especially when you have to pose as your ex-boyfriend's partner

( undercover au, set after modern warfare, tba )

[brownbitchshit]

Despite my disappointment towards the film, I have to give credit where it is due. Nicholas Galitzine and Taylor Zakhar Perez are the epitome of perfection as Henry and Alex.

Obviously Alex's character is all about being chaotic and passionate and TZP played it to perfection. It also helps that he is absolutely a beautiful beautiful man. If I had a crush on him from Kissing Booth, I'm goner for him here. His eyelashes alone can make people write poetry about him. Now his prettiness is obviously an advantage, especially since I don't think anyone imagined Alex to be this much beautiful and hot while reading the book simply because we were reading his POV and thus our brain was filled with HenryHenryHenry, TZP' s acting was spot on as Alex, which made the character even more amazing. I can only imagine how epic it would have been if the movie could keep the essence of the story true and how greater TZP's performance would've been.

Now the star of the movie, Nicholas Galitzine. Henry is literally my most favourite fictional man of all times and I was so sure I would never be satisfied with anyone playing him. But I ofc was wrong because Nick knocked it off the park. The pain, yearning and the vulnerability he brought to Henry is everything I dreamt and hoped for this character in this movie. Especially the lake scene was better in the movie than the book, simply because of his acting. When he was casted, I searched and watched all of his work because I was scared he wouldn’t do a good job. But this man acted the shit out of this character. If there is a reason why this movie completely didnt succumb to the cliched, cringy rom com, ruining the heart of this story, then the credit is mostly due to Nick. He portrayed Henry so well, that even when Matthew Lopez didn’t do shit to explain what kind of pressure he was under (like being forced to date girls, forced to enlist to the army, forced to find a wife, being taken advantage of older men when he was young, being absolutely broken hearted by his father's death because he was the only one who could protect him from the crown, having a mom who is alive but lost in grief, having a sister with drugs problem etc), Nick's expression decided to tell the story without giving us the contexts. This man will definitely go a long way and I am already excited about his next projects, especially for the one with Anna Hathway (I've read the book and I know Nick will kill the role).

Lastly, I loved TZP and Nick's chemistry. The intimate scenes and the chemistry were off the charts. It was simply beautiful. If I hadn't read the book, maybe I could've appreciated it as slightly better Hallmark type of movie. But since I have read the book, and I know this story had much more depth and the characters were much more nuanced and there were some major social and political issues needed addressing that is essential for the Queer communities, I cannot love this movie wholeheartedly. But I'm glad at least we got Nick and TZP as our FirstPrince.

[acidheaddd]

what kind of love are you?

Tagged by @tau1tvec this time! Again, not a couple, but I picked two at random that I thought would be fun, so here's Ian and Sáile!

Love As Youth

Your love is buoyant. Your love is bountiful. It is ageless, and it will never age. When you fall in love, it is breathless. It is joyful and endless, it is magnificent. You think it, like your youth , will last forever. Youth is eternal, and so is your love. Your love skips rocks and tells stories, your love roasts marshmallows over fires, and laughs freely. Your love does not take itself too seriously. Your love is jumping into puddles just to watch the water splash, and dancing in the rain, and it is watching Sunday morning reruns of cartoons to feel young once more. Your love is forever, forever young. Being loved by you is to be loved by the summer months. And those never end, do they? Well, I won’t tell if you don’t.

Love As A Flaw

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

Ian's is spot on, I think. He tends to fall fast and hard, sometimes... a little too hard for some people. He is very devoted when he loves someone, but also still slightly guarded? There are some subjects he really doesn't like to talk about and will try to avoid, though if pressed enough, he'll crack. Ian's the epitome of class clown and so he kind of feels it's his job to make people happy and make them laugh above anything else. Why bring them down with the more serious aspects of himself and his life? This shows up a lot in his current relationship with Clover -- as he knows she's had a terribly traumatic upbringing and he never wants to bother her with his own problems or backstory. Her happiness is the only thing that matters to him.

As for Sáile... Yes and no? She is very afraid of love, that's true. But just like Ian, she loves hard and is very devoted. To a fault. The moment she feels she is becoming vulnerable, she wants to run away. Because that means giving up her independence to an extent. It means giving her love and energy to someone else that can potentially hurt her, and she doesn't believe she can trust very many people not to. Her husband, Alex, already has. She ran away from him the first time, hurting him in the process, and now that they are back together, married, and with two kids (one biologically his, the other not), he's ended up hurting her in his alcoholism, his judgmental...ness, and control issues. But she's already given herself up to him completely, she finds it difficult to pull away. It was hard enough for her to give in to her love for him... she really doesn't want it to be in vain. She still loves him.

[andromedaexists]

Hello I am gracing your inbox to give you the excuse to exposite about Desecrate changes because I am the epitome of that one Spiderverse meme waiting to hear about it. I'm curious. Pretend there's an eye emoji here I'm on my laptop

HI HELLO ALEX I WILL GLADLY TALK ABOUT THE CHANGES

There are mainly two (2) sections of changes: academic changes and structural changes. The structural changes are much more spoiler ridden though, so as soon as I feel like there's more in depth information being talked about imma throw it under a cut

So. Academic changes

I have talked a little bit about the creation of Desecrate and where the idea came from, but that was a long time ago at this point. Desecrate became a WIP in late 2022 when I was taking a class called Ancient Christianities with the amazing Professor Larson (whom I miss dearly now that I am graduated)

This class, as the name implied, focused on the Ancient sources of Christianity and really the birth of the religion (specifically the start of the organization of religion after the death of Jesus and all that). we learned a lot about the proto-orthodox christians, what processes and theologies went into the creation of the canon texts, the heresies that were birthed in the time between the life of Jesus and unification of the church, and looking into the texts themselves and what qualifies them as canon-worthy or not. I took this class at the request of a good friend of mine (I see you, Vinny. I am never taking a class you recommend again) who was a religious studies concentration, though it wasn't hard to convince me seeing as I have a history of academic interest into Catholicism specifically.

The section of that class I really focused on, though, was the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Nag Hammadi library, and the heresies of Gnosticism and Marcionism. All this to say, I looked at all these and went "what if the heresies became the dominant beliefs? how would that change our current Abrahamic religions?"

That is what Desecrate was based on. However, I have recently had an academic shift from this to something more along the lines of "what if the beliefs the heresies were based on is correct, but they went about it in a really fucked way and also the universe course corrected to cover up this change?" I am now more interested in picking apart the Church as it currently stands and incorporating more themes of "the Church lies" and "the Church hides stuff" than I am at looking at a full alternate history.

Okay this is getting long now and also about to get spoilery so here's the cut:

So basically, while I originally intended for there to be 2 Gods with one chained in the basement and needing to be freed, it has shifted from "that's just the way the church is, look at the history" to "This is really fucked up that the Church hid this information for so long and literally lied to the world's face when confronted about it"

Another major thing that has changed is the structure of the story. In a couple ways.

First, Desecrate was supposed to be a novella. It was supposed to be a short, quick, and punchy story about this kid who finds God trapped in the basement and wants to get fucked by them. That's it.

Desecrate is now a full length novel, actually it's looking to be the longest things I've written! It's going to be a tome of a book split into sections based on a prayer I said growing up. And that was a bit issue and most of the reason why I'm starting over. I started this as a novella, but the pacing stayed as that of a novella even as I expanded it. The dream sequences were just moving too fast, the characters were developing at a rate that would leave them stagnant by halfway through the book, and I just didn't know how to fix it.

Another thing that's changed is the ending. The original ending that I planned the entire story of Desecrate around was an open ending. It was a "Oh my God you found God and you're freeing them and also you're the messiah?" then a cut to black. That's it. End of story.

Then, I was like "okay but what if they escaped and then walked away from humanity and the church and disappeared forever?" to which I went "nah I don't like that that invites a sequel". Then it became "okay so I need to figure out what happens after this scene. I can have this scene, cut to black, then we hit the last quarter of the book and the last prayer transition" to which I realized that no matter what I try, I can't think of another way to end this. Kit's story was meant to be open ended, it was meant to be a story of learning to live with who you are and there will never be an ending satisfying enough for me on that. This story is a love letter to the kid I was growing up, and I can't end that story yet when that kid never got theirs.

Speaking of that last quarter, though, another major part of Desecrate that's changed is the way I use the prayer and dream sequences. The prophetic dreams were a lot more important to the story in it's original iteration. The prayer that the story was created around is this one:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep If I shall die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take

This is a prayer I grew up saying, one that I forgot about until roughly late 2022. It is one that has become incredibly important to me again as I learned that not a lot of people know that prayer in the area I was raised in. I had to say it every night, though, and I've started to piece together a reason why (that I'm not going to go into depth about here but I will say it is chronic illness related).

So the story takes place in Kit's dreams for the most part after he says his prayer before bed, right? Not anymore.

Now the story is mostly in the waking world, though Kit still has prophetic dreams. It's just become more along the lines of "i don't know what these dreams are and I feel like I'm losing my mind because of them" and then finding out what they mean through his studies and the guiding hand of a scholar.

So yeah, these are the majority of the differences in what Desecrate was pre-scrap and post-scrap. Also I was forced (/hj) to sit down and create a usable time based outline for Desecrate by Clanky when we were in VA and now I have a masturbation calendar for out boy Kit. Just quirky things, y'know?

[chaotic-super]

Joining The Superfriends - 17

Read Joining The Superfriends on AO3 here!

Lena can’t believe that they are actually at this point.

They have gathered their evidence, taken their time contacting potential witnesses, built a case file and submitted it to the relevant authorities, avoiding those that they suspect could be corrupt or could be under Lex’s thumb.

The only thing left is to post the exposé piece that Kara has written up for CatCo. It serves to have a reporter on the team, two including Nia but she’s still just a junior reporter.

Kara’s got this covered, her expertise is perfect for exposing Lex. Lena didn’t even know that Kara’s a force in her own right within her day job and it was only when Alex told her to stop worrying because Kara once did something very similar to take down Morgan Edge, a piece of work she hopes to never meet, that she realized that Kara is a true force to be reckoned with.

The hard part was finding a way to avoid having Kara and Supergirl in the same room and the only way to pull it off was by having a false alert downtown so Kara had an excuse to fly off so Kara could walk through the front doors of J’onn’s PI office.

Now, she’s watching apprehensively over Kara’s shoulder as she’s sitting on Kara’s couch in Kara’s loft as Kara’s finger hovers over the enter key of Kara’s keyboard.

“Kara, do it.” She says, her voice the epitome of confidence when she feels like she’s anything but. “I need you to do it.”

It’s as she sees Kara’s finger shake slightly that she comes to the conclusion that Kara’s nervous too, that it’s not all about her.

The article would be up whether they send it now or not, this being the final revision of the piece and the editor-in-chief already has her other copy if she fails to send this one, the one with six fewer typos and one fixed idiom.  

Lena opens her mouth to say something, to tell Kara that she can change her mind if she doesn’t want to handle the dumpster fire that will be the aftermath of the article going live, but Kara’s finger jabs onto the button before any words wiggle their way free and it’s been submitted.

The article will be live first thing in the morning and that’s that. It’s out of their hands now so all they can do is sit back and bask in the knowledge that, for now, they can’t do anything else.

“I still can’t believe that we’ve actually done it,” Lena says, leaning heavily into the couch, her feet tucked up beneath her. “We’ve got the evidence to end Lex for good. There’s no way he’s going to get away with this now and even if he does worm his way out of prison, God forbid, he’d be a social pariah, nobody would touch him with a ten-foot pole out of fear of the backlash they’d get. I’m so glad we got Sam and Jack to come and help.”

Kara smiles, her cheeks pushing up with the corners of her mouth. “They are a special pair. I can’t believe they worked that hard just because they are so invested in seeing us go on a date. They barely slept for three whole days and basically had to be force-fed at periodic intervals because they were so invested.”

“I can, there’s nothing those two love more than meddling in my love life. Up until now, it’s been fairly non-existent so it wasn’t a problem. I hope it hasn’t scared you off.”

Kara shrugs, “If anything, it just makes me want to fly you off somewhere far away for our date because I just know that if we have it anywhere close by, they’ll probably end up sitting on the next table over watching us and listening in to every word we say.” Kara giggles to herself at the thought.

Lena runs a hand over her face. “Oh god, they totally would. I need new friends.”

“No, you don’t, you just need to date someone with the unique ability of being able to outrun them…oh wait!” Kara holds up a finger like she’s having a lightbulb moment.

“You’re an idiot.” Lena can’t help but chuckle at Kara’s antics and doesn’t say anything else as Kara puts her laptop on the coffee table, grabbing their wine glasses as she does so and hands Lena hers.

“So, we had an agreement to wait until after we’ve taken Lex down until we have our first official date.” Kara starts, looking down at her glass a little nervously. “How does tomorrow night sound?”

“That depends on what country you’re planning on whisking me away to.” Lena’s lips are quirked up and she is starting to believe that it’s just a natural side effect of Kara’s charm at this point because even when the worst things are happening, she has a way of making her smile.

Kara’s melodic laugh is a reward enough for Lena so she can’t believe that she’s actually going to be wined and dined by the National City’s favourite superhero. 

“Maybe we can keep the excursions to another country for the second date, we might be needed tomorrow, we need to be close by in case anything happens after the article drops. I’m actually hoping that you’re not opposed to a home-cooked meal at a very low-key establishment.”

Lena gets it, it’s the smart thing to do, she is a little disappointed but like Kara says, there’s always the second date. The mere fact that Kara brought up a second date without her mentioning anything is making her do an internal happy dance, one that will be external the moment she’s alone.

There is no way that she’s going to have objections to any kind of date with Kara though. “This low-key establishment of yours, does it stock wine? That’s my only demand.” Lena jokes.

“Hmm.” Kara thinks, staring down at the wine in her hand thoughtfully. “Oh yes, would you look here, there happens to be some here right now.” 

“Impeccable.”

“Indeed.” Kara drawls out. “Now I can rest easy knowing that I have a date tomorrow.”

“That we do,” Lena says, the wonder in her voice evident. “It’s taken us a little while but we do.”

Kara shuffles closer, wrapping her arm around Lena’s shoulders and pulling her into her side, resting her head against Lena’s own. “That’s ok. It’s worth it.”

“You’re cheesy.”

“I know, I heard it as it came out of my mouth.”

“You should be embarrassed.”

“I am.” Kara smiles despite her words, hearing the light tone in Lena’s voice she knows she’s not really making fun of her and when she said her cheesy line, she got to hear the way Lena’s heart subtly started beating slightly faster, giving away how much she actually likes to hear those kinds of words.

Kara will say a million cheesy lines if it makes Lena feel good. There’s something about this woman that Kara just knows is perfect for her and she knows that they are going to be in each other’s lives for a very long time.

“I hope you don’t mind a little bit of cheddar every once in a while because my brain defaults to lines from romcoms.”

“I think I can manage to tolerate it because you’re kind of cute.” Lena shrugs, holding onto the hand slung over her shoulder, not letting it retreat even though it has no intentions of doing so.

“Just kind of?”

“Kind of a lot.”

“That’s better.”

Leaning into Kara, feeling her warmth wrapped around her in an atmosphere that is so light and pure, it’s almost enough for Lena to be able to forget about Lex and the awful things he’s done, the people he killed and the fact that tomorrow is the day it all comes out.

The sole reason for her being here tonight is so she can stay with Kara because this is a tough time for her and yet it isn’t tough, not when she’s in her arms and she’s warm from the wine they’ve been drinking. Everything feels like it’s going to be alright and maybe if it feels that way, it will come true.

“Thanks for letting me stay with you tonight.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that.” Kara’s voice is low and sincere.

Lena grips onto Kara’s hand a little tighter. “I do, it means a lot to me that you’re willing to let me stay because I don’t want to be alone.”

“I’ve been alone before and it sucks. You don’t have to thank me for keeping you company because I know that you’d do the same for me.” Kara argues back but her voice never raises from its comforting monotone.

Lena doesn’t have much to say to that. Any one of the Superfriends could show up at her door and she’d let them in but if it were Kara then she’d drag her in. “Still, I appreciate it.”

“I appreciate your appreciation.” Kara feels dumb the moment she says it but Lena doesn’t seem to mind it so she lets it go, instead just closing her eyes and letting herself be close to Lena.

They just sit there and casually take sips of their wine and fight their rapidly closing eyes for a while until Kara eventually starts snoring softly into Lena’s ear, prompting her to gently shake her awake and try to direct her to the bed.

“Kara, come on, it’s bedtime.” Lena stands up, trying to tug on Kara’s arms to get her to stand up but she’s not having any luck, Kara’s Kryptonian strength is nothing she can contend with.

“I’ll sleep here, you take the bed.” Kara mumbles, fluffing up a cushion and pulling the blanket that is hanging on the back of the couch over to her so she can cover herself up and resume sleeping, barely having the energy to do even that.

Lena’s shoulders slump. There’s no point in her fighting Kara on this, there’s no way she can move a whole ass Kryptonian that has flopped on the couch. She can’t just sit here when Kara’s asleep. She was expecting them to stay up together but that plan clearly just got tossed out the window.

Instead, she just grumbles her way to Kara’s bed, feeling a little awkward as she pulls the duvet back and climbs in on what she assumes is Kara’s side of the bed because the nightstand on that side holds the alarm clock.

Lena pulls the duvet up around her shoulders and sinks into the soft sheets that smell of Kara. Her nose is pressed into Kara’s pillow and her hands are holding the duvet tightly around herself. With her eyes closed she can almost trick herself into believing that it’s Kara wrapped around her but this is the next best thing and an experience she’s going to cherish.

She tries not to fall asleep too fast, afraid of not having the time to savour this feeling but the comfort it brings her is too great and she’s drifting and drifting and her mind couldn’t be further away from the day she’s going to have tomorrow.

Lena sleeps deep and soft, a sleep she’s been in need of since Lex started terrorizing National City and a sleep she’s been in desperate need of since Sam and Jack came over from Metropolis and they’ve been spending all of their time in The Tower working.

She’s so deeply asleep that she doesn’t register it when Kara sleepily makes her way to the bathroom a couple of hours later and forgets herself, pulling the duvet up in her sleepy autopilot and climbing into the bed behind Lena, not thinking about what she’s doing as she presses herself against the warm heat source in her bed, too far into the clutches of sleep to think straight.

As for Lena, she doesn’t stir at all, not until the morning when she tries to roll over to escape the incoming sunbeams through the window only to find that she’s trapped in the arms of a beefy alien.

It takes her a few seconds to figure out what is actually going on but when she does, she doesn’t want to move.

She doesn’t even want to move when she peeks at the clock and sees that the article is up already and as much as she wants to go and get her phone from where she left it on the coffee table, she’s not ready to give up the feeling of absolute closeness that comes with being held by someone in bed, something she hasn’t experienced in longer than she’s willing to admit.

She’s enjoying it so much that she lies there until she drifts back off to sleep again, at least until she’s woken a little while later by the sound of Kara freaking out.

“Oh, Rao! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize, I’m such an idiot!” Kara tries to peel her arms from around Lena but Lena holds on.

“Just another five minutes, don’t go.”

“I…ok.” Kara’s eyes are wide and she’s not yet actually remembered how she got here but she’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth so she’s going to lie here with Lena until Lena lets her go and she’s not going to complain again.

Neither of them realizes that the other is waiting for the other to give in first and try to move away though so they end up there for quite some time, only getting up when the need to pee becomes way too much to cope with.

Kara waits nervously for Lena to emerge from the bathroom, the coffee is brewing and now she’s got nothing to do but stand anxiously on the edge of her seat for Lena to come into the kitchen so she can apologize again for getting into bed with her in the middle of the night.

She hadn’t meant to but it happened and a very large part of her is glad it did but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel guilty and she feels like she’s betrayed the brunette somehow.

“Hey, the bathroom is free if you need it.” Lena casually strolls through, pausing to grab her phone from the coffee table before plopping herself down on one of the stools in the kitchen.

“I’m ok, I just want to apologize to you first, I’m really sorry about getting into bed with you, I think I must have gone to the bathroom in the night and in my half-asleep state, gotten into bed with you without thinking, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your space.”

Lena smiles at Kara’s cute rant, finding her need to apologize adorable. It’s heart-warming that the woman she’s found herself forming romantic entanglements with is so keenly aware of boundaries that any kind of slip-up warrants an apology, she’s never had someone in a relationship so openly admit when they’re wrong before, and in this situation, nobody is wrong and Kara is apologizing anyway.

“Stop apologizing, I don’t mind. I wouldn’t have minded sharing anyway, I assumed you didn’t want to share since you put yourself on the couch.”

“Really?”

“Yes so don’t worry about it, we’ve got much bigger reasons for worrying.” Lena waves her phone up, turning it on and being immediately bombarded by the number of messages she’s got, most of them from old nosy acquaintances wanting to know the gossip about her brother.

Kara perches on the stool beside Lena, waiting for her to continue and tell her what’s going on. “Right, the article is live now.”

“It is and apparently, Lex isn’t the only Luthor in the firing line, despite you mentioning in the article that I helped to uncover Lex’s plan, it seems as though the public wants me burned at the stake next to him, they think that I must have just thrown him under the bus to try and save myself.”

“That’s bullshit.” Kara’s eyebrows pinch in anger, her lips pressing into a scowl. “Those people don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. You’re so good ad you’re nothing like him.”

“I don’t think there’s much I can do about the public’s perception of me at the minute, I think I’m going to have to hope that people care more about holding Lex accountable for the crimes we have proven than they care for pinning crimes on me that are nothing but baseless rumours.” Lena rests her elbows on the counter, phone dangling between her fingertips. “I need coffee.”

Kara takes the instruction to heart, racing to her coffee machine to finish making Lena’s coffee and sliding the mug in front of her. “Do you mind if I turn on the news?”

“Not at all.”

With coffee in hand, they take a seat on the couch, phones open to Twitter to track what’s being said and the TV giving them a live feed of exactly the sight they’ve been waiting for: Lex being dragged out of the Luthor Corp building in Metropolis in handcuffs and being loaded into an unmarked government van.

Kara catches Lena wiping a tear from her eye as the doors slam shut behind him. “Lena?”

“Sorry, I know I should be happy that it’s all over and I should be the first person ready to see him rot, it’s just that…”

“He’s your brother.” Kara finishes for her. “He’ll always be your brother, no matter what he does or will do, he’s your brother and you love him, even if you hate the things he does.”

“Yeah. He deserves what he’s getting, I just wish I could look at him and see someone other than the teenager that taught me how to play chess and let his little sister follow him around even when it made him look like a dork to his friends.”

“I get it.” Kara mumbles.

They watch as the van pulls away from Luthor Corp and keep their ears out for any mention of what happens next, minds already working on two things.

The first is the new plan they’ll need to fix Lena’s shattered reputation so she’s not going to be dragged down with Lex.

The second is their date. They have plans to make.

Read 6 more chapters early on Patreon here!

[pastelwitchling]

Hello there! If you’re still taking prompts are you able to please write one about Alex being cranky with Bonnie because a) she kissed Michael and made him uncomfortable because he had been very upfront about having a boyfriend and b) she kissed him with the intention of taking his powers away even though he’d been nothing but lovely and helpful towards her..? I just love protective Alex!

***

Alex didn’t really go out of his way to talk to people. In his mind, and with the way he’d grown up and how his career had gone, he’d always thought that if it wasn’t life and death, it could wait.

Except with Michael, but then Michael had always been his exception.

That was why, when a knock came at the door, Alex was unsurprised to find Bonnie on the other side.

“Hi, Alex,” she waved, and he smiled, stepping aside to let her in.

“Hey.”

“You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah, I did,” he said, gesturing at the sofa for her to take a seat. “Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee?”

“Tea please.”

“Okay,” Alex said, unplugging the water heater and pouring into a mug with a bag of chamomile leaves. “Michael’s not here, by the way. He and Sanders are readying for the annual Roswell Garden Competition.”

“Oh okay,” she laughed. “So it’s just going to be us?”

“Mhm. There you go.”

She took the mug with both hands. “Thank you. So what’s going on?”

“Well, to be honest,” Alex sat down with a slight groan. He’d been on his leg a bit too much these days. “I wanted to talk to you about that kiss you and Michael had.”

Her smile faltered. “Kiss?”

“Yeah, while I was gone,” Alex’s smile widened, even as his eyes narrowed. “I realized we never talked about it after we got back from the liminal space.”

Bonnie searched Alex’s face, her own the epitome of worry. “Are you . . . mad?”

“That you kissed him?” he leaned back in his armchair, softly dipping his bag in and out of the water. “No. That you did it to take his powers away? Well, let’s just say that it’s a good thing he got them back.”

“Alex—”

“Although,” Alex tilted his head. “I did hear he got pretty sick afterwards. When I wasn’t even here to look after him. I really don’t appreciate that.”

“Are you going to kill me?” she whispered, eyes wide and frightened. “Like . . . with your Deep Sky stuff?”

“No.”

“Air Force?” she gasped. “M-Maria told me about them. She said you were military. She said they were bad!”

“Bonnie,” he sighed. “Take a deep breath. And stop listening to Maria where I’m concerned, would you? I guarantee there’s no one in Roswell who knows me less.”

Her shoulders slowly fell. “So . . . you’re not going to kill me?”

“What do you think?” he said wearily.

She looked down and murmured. “Sorry.”

“Look,” he set the mug down. “Michael is my life. He’s everything to me. You didn’t know he had me when you kissed him, so that’s fine. But his powers are part of who he is and you stole that.” He held up his hand when Bonnie opened her mouth. “I don’t care about what you intended, Bonnie. You hurt him. That’s all I care about.”

“I’m sorry,” she said at once. “I’m so sorry.”

Alex softened. “I know. I just hate that he was sick without me to protect him. And I know you were a different person then.” He stood, setting his mug down. Maybe it was the years of captaining, but his shoulders instinctively straightened and he looked down at Bonnie. “But I have to make my stance on Michael clear here. No matter what your reasoning, hurting him means picking a battle with me. And I always win my battles.”

Bonnie clenched her jaw and stood so quickly that she almost spilled some of her tea. “I’d never let anything happen to him, Alex. I promise. I’ve changed, I’ll—I’ll look after him. After both of you, because you’re everything to him, too.”

Alex considered her, then he smiled. He nudged his chin at her mug. “You want some cake with that?”

She exhaled shakily, deflating, her courage giving way to the fear underneath. Alex thought he liked her most then, when she was truly brave. “Do you have anything with chocolate?” she whimpered.

Alex nodded, and patted her shoulder as he moved past her.

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤

[augment-duke]

Baseline information for Alex, MC of [Redacted] and an absolute treasure in my heart. Most of the setting is a explained in the 'general novel info'

-

Alexander Finch is the epitome of 'Wrong place, Wrong time'. His life has been a trial in itself (Mother deported due to the Phage Boarder Control Decrees when he was 14, Father a blight of a man who could never see Alex as 'man enough', he ended up choosing pretty shitty relationships over living with the man just to try and finish some kind of university - didn't end up finishing - got into drugs, started using and selling, and then eventually just started living on the streets until he and the group he was with here 'rescued' by men of one of the large corporations known as Yggdrasil, where surprise surprise! All that help was actually finding human testing that no one would miss.)

The first thing Alexander remembers after a six-month mental blackout, is waking up on an autopsy table being taken apart by doctors. Over and over and over again as his body endlessly regenerates, somehow moved from America to St.Cairn Canada, where he's now stuck legally speaking.

He's unable to die, and is the only one of the program to 'survive' (not that anyone was really aware of that fact till he escaped with the help of ??? Someone He didn't know??)

Now he's just trying to prove to the government that he's not a danger to the world, and that he belongs somewhere. Roped into working for BAEL, or the other option of 'die'.

At least he has a found family now!

Personality-wise, He's as lax as you can get, and doesn't seem to take much seriously as he's used to things just eventually fucking him over, or for things to go wrong, so he just doesn't get his hopes up. Very prone to comments of self-defeat or using himself as a joke/ 'Whoops, I'm an idiot' types of things. -- He's the ''happy to get along with'' kind of depressed, always putting other people before himself in an unhealthy self-sacrificial kind of way. He is honestly smarter than he thinks he is, and is actively a very good person, he's just so used to people taking advantage of those facts it's the common expectation.

He does make lots of jokes and laughs quite a bit! He's a fun guy to be around and likes to make other people smile -- the kind of 'live in the moment and forget your fears' kind of conversation.

Within his novel, most of these things are helped by the other characters, and he does get much better-coping mechanisms and mannerisms! Life does get better for him, despite the horror show of violence and Phages.

[forgemill]

Waiting, ugh! I swear, time slows down when you're anticipating something. The damn watch had the audacity to claim it had been five minutes, but I knew better. For all I knew, the seller had decided to take a nap instead of showing up. That's what i would have done. Great, just great.

As I scanned the area, my eyes fell upon a girl who stood out like a unicorn in a herd of cows. She had this wild, untamed brown hair that seemed to have a mind of its own, falling haphazardly around her chin. She looked like she was on a mission, searching for someone, and then our eyes met. Oh boy, her expression was a mix of confusion, annoyance, and possibly the early stages of a sneeze. It was hard to tell. Her hazel eyes locked with my incredibly handsome blue eyes (no need to be modest here, it's a fact), and I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. Probably something along the lines of, "Who let this charming hunk of a brother of mine out in public?"

She was sporting a black jacket that screamed 'fashion emergency', but hey, who am I to judge? I've tried giving her fashion tips before, but let's just say her response involved a lot of eye-rolling and exaggerated sighs. If only she knew how lucky she was to have someone with such impeccable style as her brother. Sigh, it's a burden being this fashionable.

Just as I was about to contemplate the mysteries of life, my phone buzzed, interrupting my deep thoughts. I glanced down, and it was a message from Alex (yep, the dog, not the human I mean the other way around frankly i see little difference). Talk about impeccable timing. I needed to get my sister away from here before things got messy. She had a knack for finding herself in the most inconvenient situations. It's like she has a secret superpower for bad timing.

But before I could even process my next move, she pounced on me, tackling me to the ground. It was like a poorly choreographed wrestling move gone wrong. I managed to regain my composure, though, because grace runs in the family (except for her, apparently). I pinned her against the wall, and she fought back, her strength dwindling. "What on earth was that?" I asked, my voice laced with irritation. She remained stubbornly silent, fists clenched, teeth gritted. I swear, she could give a statue a run for its money in the stubbornness department. And believe me, I've tried.

Using my exceptional hand-holding skills (a talent passed down through generations, mind you), I firmly yet gently held her shoulders, forcing her to look me in the eye. "Evie, you're my sister. Please, tell me what's going on," I pleaded, my voice oozing concern and sibling love. But nope, she continued her silent treatment, lost in her own thoughts. I contemplated performing a dramatic interpretive dance to get her attention, but I thought better of it. Maybe next time.

I reached out, my hand resting gently on her shoulder, and she winced in pain. Oops, my bad. I guess my charm doesn't always come with a gentle touch. I guidrd her into an alley to allow us some privacy also beacuse I was embarassed to be found with her in public .Evie  what's wring with you you've been so distant lately? I tried my beautiful touch again this time she cried out. Understanding dawned on me so quickly cz I'm smart and all. Swiftly, I removed her black jacket, only to reveal a blood-stained t-shirt underneath. Well, that escalated quickly. My mind went into panic mode, but my face remained calm and collected (because I am the epitome of composure, obviously). And then, as she collapsed onto me, losing consciousness, I couldn't help but chuckle nervously. "Well, if this isn't the perfect plot twist, I don't know what is."